Archive of Our Own ^beta

100KR’s fever glazed eyes moved over to the box of tissues residing on his desk, the urge to blow his nose becoming stronger as he once again sniffled with no avail to his wet sinuses.

The cold he had woken up with that morning had nearly made him late for work. With a permanent chill and congestion threatening to rage against every breath, he wanted nothing more than to stay in bed and get the sleep his body longed for. However, as a dedicated member of the International Police, he disliked the use of personal days; especially over as something minor as a cold.

He disliked his weaknesses being noticed as well. However, when it came to the concern of health code violations in the workplace, his compliance of International Police rules won over his insecurity. And so he had begrudgingly adorned a hospital mask before leaving his apartment, barely catching the bus in his illness-induced lethargy.

They would have taken notice in the flush in his face anyways, he told himself.

The office was mostly abandoned now, deserted with the coming of the lunch hour. 100KR had taken his lunch early to allow himself time to buy cough drops and desperately needed tissues, determined not to let his sickness hamper his work day. Yet even with an empty office, he still couldn’t bring himself to blow his nose at his desk. It was a public space after all, and extremely rude.

At last he pulled himself away from the desk, deciding that coffee would soothe his aching throat, if not give him some energy. The halls were quiet as he walked to the break room, which was thankfully devoid of co-workers as well. 100KR figured he could use it as an opportunity to breathe without the mask for the first time in hours. Effective as it was, it proved to be unpleasant to breathe through exclusively.

He poured his coffee into the overused machine, the motions almost feeling automatic now. There was no telling how much he had drunk over the course of his still considerably short career as an interpol agent, and should it be determined, it would certainly be an unhealthy amount.

Lost in his thoughts about his concerning amount of coffee consumption, an itch in his sinuses slowly crept to an unbearable level, until 100KR found himself overtaken. Without thinking, he turned from the coffee maker and sneezed into his elbow, as to not infect the equipment for the other agents.

A sudden hot wetness covering his mouth and nose, with sudden and horrible clarity, reminded him he still had the mask on.

Abandoning his drink, 100KR moved away from the small counter in a silent panic, realizing he had just ruined the only medical mask on him. With deliberate carefulness he peeled off the mask slowly, finding that snot had trailed from his red, irritated nose to the inside of the mask. He sniffled fruitlessly, the mess refusing to return. He was disgusted and angry at himself for doing such a stupid thing, but at least he had spared himself the embarrassment of doing it around his co-workers…

“100KR?”

100KR’s body went rigid at the sound, his heart beginning to pound with terror. It wasn’t just anyone that had come to witness one of his stupidest and most disgusting moments of all time– It was agent 000, his field agent partner and superior whom he admired and adored.

“100KR?” Agent 000 repeated, after a few awkward moments had passed. In a silent panic, 100KR quickly decided on pretending he hadn’t just snotted all over his face mask, and to keep 000 oblivious to his revolting mistake.

“Agent 000!” 100KR replied, not turning his back. He damned himself as his voice came out tellingly high– he wasn’t a good liar at all.

“You sound rough.” Agent 000 remarked, a comment that would have deflated 100KR under any other circumstance.“What are you doing in here? I thought you’d be clocked out for lunch.”

“I could ask the same of you!” 100KR added with a nervous laugh, his back still to his superior. “Ah… I clocked out a bit earlier. I am just taking advantage of the break room, as there is no one here at the moment.”

“Funny, I was thinking the same thing.”

100KR could hear him move from behind, undoubtedly trying to peer around him. In a blind panic 100KR did the only thing he could to save face: putting the slimy mask back on.

He swung around to his partner almost triumphantly, watching his face as he spoke. “Great minds have like thoughts! That is the saying, yes?”

Agent 000 didn’t grimace, or make any attempt to reel back in horror, meaning the mess inside his mask was unperceivable. 100KR was safe.

“Eh, something like that.” 000 shrugged, leaning against the counter. “I’m guessing this coffee is yours?”

Just as he felt he could leave this exchange with his dignity, another tickle blossomed in his nose. Considering the kind of damage the first sneeze did, the idea of doing it again made 100KR go white.

“Oh no.”

“Oh no?”

“Oh, yes.” 100KR corrected, his eyes scanning the room for some kind of escape. “Yes… T-This is my coffee.” He stammered, trying to quell his hitching breaths.

“I want the next cup, then.” 000 said. He smiled, a cruel gesture in lieu of the situation. “Can’t have you drinking the whole pot again.”

A reference to a previous mission of theirs, but it was lost on 100KR in his attempt to fight off his own impending disaster. Instead he nodded, eyes fluttering against the burning in his nose.

“Huh… How about you just… take the my cup, then?” He offered. He eyed the door through watery eyes. He could definitely make it around the corner in time if he walked unsuspiciously quick.

“What? No. I’m fine with waiting.” 000 insisted.

“I will, u-uh… I will be quite alright if you take the first cup!” 100KR countered, blinking forcefully. Nothing was helping. “Please, 000, I… I insist…”

Worry crossed 000’s face in the last seconds 100KR could see it, before his eyes screwed shut and his mouth with slack.

“Are you alright?” 000 asked. 100KR shook his head blindly in response, taking a step back. “I’m-- I’m sorry-- Ih-shh! Hh-shht! H-Huh-! Hh-rssht!”

More snot joined that in the mask, forcing strings of it out of the bottom and down 100KR’s chin. Before he could compose himself, or even walk out, he heard his partner degrade him with two words:

“Holy shit.”

It was enough to make 100KR run out of the room, bumping against 000 as he did. He quickly entered the hallway bathroom, locked the door, and threw the now soaked medical mask in the trash before sinking to the floor. The small glimpse of himself in the mirror revealed his face was much more flushed than before-- a mix of fever, embarrassment, and the threat of tears.

And clear snot running down it still, of course.

100KR rested his head against his knees, wishing desperately that he could disappear, that he had never come into work today or had existed at all. 000 would probably never speak to him again, deeming him much too repulsive to keep as a field partner or friend. At the very least, 100KR had blown all chances he had at being anything more to 000 in one disgusting swoop.

As he dejectedly scrubbed at his face with a piece of toilet paper there was a knock on the bathroom door, eliciting a angry huff from the agent. The last thing he needed was some inconsiderate co-worker shooing him out of the bathroom.

“Occupied.” He grumbled, tossing the used paper into the bin.

“It’s me, 100KR.”

100KR stiffened again. 000 had followed him to the bathroom, of course. He hadn’t embarrassed himself enough today.

“I want to make sure you’re alright.” 000 continued, leaning against the door. “You ran out pretty quickly.”

100KR swallowed hard, his sore throat suddenly choked. Tears pricked at his eyes as he tried to think of his reply.

“I’m fine…” He said, voice wavering. “I’m sorry you saw that. It was very gross.”

“I’ve had worse.” 000 retorted quickly. “From you, even. Remember that time you threw up in my lap?”

A whine escaped 100KR’s throat as he laid his head against his legs again, unable to stop the tears escaping his tired eyes. Yes, that was what he needed-- another incident in which he had been disgusting in front of 000.

“Ok, bad example, I’m sorry. But really, I don’t care.”

“You are only saying that… t-to make me feel better… Uh-shht!”

“I’m not, I promise.” 000 took his weight off the door, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his suit pants. “I think what would make you feel better is if I took you home. You seem pretty bad off.”

100KR met him with silence again, sniffling into his knees. Considering all that had happened, 000 taking him home would be a small consolation prize-- but would give him some hope that the agent didn’t find him completely repulsive.

Agent 000 sighed from the other side of the door. “You can’t stay in the bathroom all day. Come on, I won’t say that you left early.”

After wiping his face again, 100KR got up and opened the door. “That is not fair to the other agents, you know.” He said. The stuffiness in his own voice made him cringe, but 000 remained unfazed.

“It’s not fair that you had to work today. Why didn’t they give you off?”

“I didn’t call in.” 100KR admitted sheepishly. 000 shook his head at him before taking his hand, making his flushed face turn a darker hue.

“Let’s get you home, 100KR.”