Archive of Our Own ^beta

Kyungsoo prides himself on maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

It hasn’t always been the case, but he has worked hard to reach the more lively state of being he now is used to.

He goes to the gym a few times a week, because it’s important to keep the blood flowing and his muscles straining just enough that they don’t become diseased.

He walks, too, and takes the stairs instead of the lift at his job, because that way he can keep his heart beating well even on regular work days.

He has also been incorporating more and more vegetables and legumes into his diet in the past months, because he has read a lot about the health benefits of an animal-free intake of food and he wants to give it a real try in the years to come. Plus, it’s becoming more and more about making an ethical choice, and not just keeping the gas and the heartburn away as much as possible.

He tries his best at getting as much sleep as he can each night, for he knows his limits and is aware that should he let himself be a night owl, he’ll be greeted with an elusive but very real headache the next day that, in turn, will impair his ability to focus on the tasks at hand. 

He invests himself in small projects and tasks like cooking and going out for a walk as much as possible, since after all, everyone needs a daily dose of sunrays to take advantage of their body fully.

Still, there are moments, days when all of your efforts aren’t worth much. It can’t always just go well.

Life is just about that; continuous highs and lows, ups and downs which one doesn’t always have the power to control and adapt to. Whatever the reasons are, everything is possible; you might wake up one day and feel absolutely great, and you’ll go to sleep the very night with your heart down your heels and your brain stuck in a heavy, sticky fog.

Be it mental health or physical health, no one is sheltered from anything.

Every individual has their own, very unique struggles, and so Kyungsoo deals with what comes his way however he can in his own way.

Today, work has been just fine. Kyungsoo was able to come back to his and Jongin’s apartment earlier than planned, and settled to cut vegetables and such for dinner.

Then it was still too early, and his eyes were puffy with sleep, so he gave himself the permission to take a nap on the couch while waiting for his boyfriend of four years to come back.

That was his mistake.

You see, there are a few things that Kyungsoo shouldn’t do under any circumstance, because the human body is the way it is and it turns out that he has quite an irate stomach at times.

Lying down in the middle of the day for a short 30-minute nap isn’t something he can indulge in without seriously considering it at first. He doesn’t know when it all began, but it has been a few years since he was able to lie down during the day without suffering the aftereffects of it.

But he somehow conveniently forgot about that today, and so when he wakes up because of his cellphone’s shrill alarm, he can already feel the weird pressure under his abdominals and the sweat pearling along his hairline.

He shifts and twists on the couch, his lungs filling with air before they empty as he sits up.

As soon as he does, he feels a first cramp like a punch in his sternum.

It cuts his breath short and he winces, letting his body go limp as he snuggles into the couch.

Great. He didn’t plan on that. What time is it?

He manages, somehow, to turn and extend his arm enough that he can reach the portable device on the floor beside the piece of furniture, and then turns its screen on, blinks. 16:13.

Jongin won’t be here before another hour at the very least, and so he tries to convince himself that he will be fine before his boyfriend is back. He really, really wants to cook him something for when he arrives, otherwise the younger will have to wait on a starving stomach and he hates it.

He knows just how tiring it is to have to prepare food when you’ve just had a very long day. Furthermore, the younger’s system is so much faster than his own, processing snacks and full meals like it’s nothing, and it means he feels weak as soon as he doesn’t have something to chew on.

Kyungsoo doesn’t want that for Jongin.

He tries to relax, tries to undo the knots in his chest and his belly, and, slowly, he forces himself into a sitting position again, carbon dioxide hitching in his throat as he unwillingly tenses up. Dizziness comes and goes, his mind clearing up as he breathes in big gulps of air.

This time, the cramps that follow are more like knives into his guts before they change into an overbearing pressure that goes all the way up to his shoulders, seizing his entire being up and pushing him into a painful muscle strain.

Before he knows it, he’s lying down again on the couch, his armpits sweatier by the minute as he fights off cramp, after cramp, after cramp.

Kyungsoo doesn’t like to complain about physical pain. He’s more one to focus on homophobic co-workers as well as corrupted governments, and he sure loves to complain about his own clothing to the point where Jongin always lends him his own bigger, looser cotton shirts, but he isn’t one for drama about a headache or a bruise.

But this – this particular kind of stomach ache, it’s the absolute worse. 

Each time, he recalls to his mind what he has read in an attempt at finding an easy way to get rid of it – don’t lie down, don’t eat, take over-the-counter stomach meds, anything – but nothing works most of the time.

He just has to go through it, and while sometimes it’s short and (bitter)sweet, other times it goes on for a lot, lot longer.

Today seems to be the latter.

More than thirty minutes go by, and nothing changes. If anything, by now Kyungsoo’s entire body is shaking, hard enough that standing up seems pretty much impossible without some help as he bites into the pillow in his hands. He should’ve tried earlier to get up and walk for a bit, but he didn’t, because the cramps were pretty horrible as he was sitting up. Now, though, he regrets it.

Nausea has installed itself, too, creeping up on him a little bit more each time a cramp pulls stronger than the others, climbing out from deep within his guts and up his oesophagus.

He doesn’t want to be sick. It would mean getting up, and the worst part in all of this is that he can still feel the hunger throughout it all even though the simplest thought of food currently makes him gag on his own saliva.

He throws a quick, misty look at his cellphone. 16:57.

A whimper escapes him at that moment, his eyebrows furrowed on his now pale and sweaty forehead. He sincerely doesn’t feel good and it just doesn’t want to leave, but it needs to, it needs to for he needs to be able to function and just cook the fucking dinner.

He is becoming pissed the longer he is stuck in this state, and he can’t help it. It’s true, he was never one with an easy, happy disposition; rather, he is quite short-tempered, even toward his own body.

He tries to close his eyes, tries to curl up on himself to a point where his limbs become numb, but still the cramps don’t relent, don’t give him much of a chance to unwind at all.

More time passes, and Kyungsoo sincerely believes he is going to throw up if this doesn’t stop soon.

His fingers are trembling uncontrollably even as they grip the pillow tightly, and he has given up on holding back whines of pain for the waves keep crashing through his body one after the other.

Hell, it feels as if something is stuck inside of him, but his stomach isn’t making a single sound; air isn’t coming up his throat either, meaning that he can’t even feel the lightest of relief by belching or passing gas.

It’s just all stuck inside of him, him, a ball of pain, his throat burning up with acid and his eyes filled with water, and he feels incredibly stupid for having decided to lie down.

He shouldn’t have, he should have thought, instead, about the fact that his digestive system is anything but compliant.

He closes his eyes and buries his face against the pillow, now more than just frustrated at himself and something he almost has no control over.

In his distress, he doesn’t hear the entrance door’s complaint as it is unlocked and pushed open, nor does he take in the faint pitter-patter of the soles of Jongin’s feet against the wooden floor.

Rather, he feels the couch’s material give in to a sudden added weight, and, blearily, he wills himself to open his eyes.

Above him, Jongin has a small, tired smile on his face, his frown hidden by caramel strands of hair that fall on his forehead. “Hey, Soo,” he begins before he leans down, pressing his cheek against his own. “You’re a bit hot. Are you sick?”

Kyungsoo is confused for a few seconds. Did that much time pass already? He, ah, he didn’t even finish preparing dinner. “Sorry,” he croaks out, his throat sore. “I meant to finish dinner before you arrived.”

Jongin rolls his eyes and brushes cool fingers against Kyungsoo’s temple. The suffering man’s eyelids fall shut and he leans into the touch, the ounce of relief something he desperately wants to pursue before it vanishes completely.

He doesn’t even need to tell Jongin what’s wrong for him to know. “You lied down, and your stomach decided to act up again, hm? I told you to walk when this happens.” The tone is chastising but barely, worry overpowering all of Jongin’s other emotions.

“I wanted to, but just sitting up… it hurts too much.” He grumbles and hides his face into the pillow. Oh, he knows Jongin is probably right to force him to walk when he has such cramps, but he swears sometimes even that doesn’t help, or it’s too painful to do alone.

“Alright, don’t move,” says Jongin as he suddenly gets rid of his jacket, leaves it on the floor as he crawls in behind Kyungsoo. The latter doesn’t know how they manage it but somehow, soon enough, Jongin’s slightly colder body is pressing into his own from behind, and thin but long fingers encircle his wrists to force him to unfold only the slightest bit. “Let’s get you to relax first, and then I’ll help you up,” Jongin whispers against his ear, causing the faintest of shivers to erupt all over his skin and momentarily intensify yet numb the white-hot pain in his upper body.

In all sincerity, he doesn’t want to be touched. He doesn’t want to uncurl either, for he feels safer and more in control that way – but Jongin has none of it as he lets his hands push Kyungsoo’s own away so that he can have his arms around his waist.

His palms are getting warmer by the second as they slide under the hem of his shirt and up his abdominals. The skin of his tummy isn’t as taut as usual; it is even slightly puffy, tender under the digits, and Kyungsoo winces.

“I know you’re kind of in a lot of pain right now, but you know that I miss your little belly, at times?” Jongin says the stupidest things and also has the worst timings, but Kyungsoo is used to it after more than eight years of knowing the other, four years of being his boyfriend and two and a half of living together.

Still, yes, he is in pain, and so he flinches, the nausea becoming stronger as Jongin begins to caress his stomach, chest, and even upper thigh.

Kyungsoo doesn’t stop him, because he knows that after a few terrible minutes, the pain will slowly begin to subside.

And it does. The longer Jongin’s touches go on, the lesser the cramps, and as his whole body begins to relax, he realizes just how badly he is shaking. Jongin holds him close, his fingers now massaging circles under his ribs until Kyungsoo learns to breathe normally again.

The younger even presses a few wet kisses to his nape, nibbling at the sensitive skin until he reaches the lobe of Kyungsoo’s ear. “Your belly is so soft, Soo. How would you feel about getting up now, hm?”

He whines under his breath, but eventually relents. He knows that by now, standing would probably be the best position for him. “I guess you can… help me up.”

At the very least, the nausea isn’t as present, as strong as it was, and while Jongin does almost all the hard work by gently pulling Kyungsoo into a sitting position and then up, the older can’t bring himself to care because he is shivering too hard from the exertion.

From head to toe, all of his stabilizing muscles are quivering, intensely so, from all the strain that was put on his body. Jongin notices it, of course, and makes sure that Kyungsoo’s legs don’t give up, his arms and own body a solid support under Kyungsoo’s weight.

“Thank you, Nini.” Kyungsoo manages to murmur as Jongin kisses him on the cheek.

“Baby steps, ‘kay? If it hurts too much, we will stop.”

And so Kyungsoo brings a first foot before the other, and Jongin is here, holding him close and moving as his very own shadow would. Together, as stupid and laughable at it would look to an outsider’s eye, they walk around the small apartment for as long as it takes for Kyungsoo’s cramps to recede.

Jongin makes sure he ingests enough fluids and sugars before he accepts to help him shower, and once they are both squeaky clean and changed into the most comfortable, loose cotton pyjamas, Jongin helps Kyungsoo into the bed and under the covers before he joins him.

At first, the younger keeps his distances. It surprises Kyungsoo until he realizes that Jongin probably thinks he is too unwell to crave cuddles, when in fact, it is all he wants and needs.

His entire physical being is sore, and at this point so is his mental self, because it is nothing short of tiring to go through hours of intense pain and not be able to do a single thing about it.

So his hand reaches out for one of Jongin’s wrists and pulls, pulls until it gets the message across and the younger readily presses himself up against him from behind.

Kyungsoo then seizes his hands, and brings them to rest over his own still slightly swollen, tender tummy.

Instantly, Jongin sighs happily into the crook of his neck. The palms of his hands aren’t very soft, if anything they are calloussed from the cold and years of refusing to put on cream, but Kyungsoo likes the feeling of them against the much softer skin of his own belly, anyway.

They are wide, covering a great expanse of his own abdomen, and he likes it all, likes the sensation of them pressing into him just enough to numb the traces of pain that are left.

Jongin brings them down, then up to his ribs, and repeats the process again, and again, and again. Each time, his hands go further than previously, to a point where they caress him all the way from his nipples to his groin.

Kyungsoo sighs under the ministrations, his eyelids falling shut even as a telltale heat begins to build up inside of him, causing his upper thighs to burn deliciously.

It’s nothing like what he went through earlier, and he wants more.

By now, Jongin’s breathing is harsh and deep against the skin of his neck, making it become wetter and wetter before he decides to lick a stripe of skin up his jaw.

Kyungsoo’s breath gets stuck in his throat as he raises his chin, allowing Jongin to press himself even further against him.

He then feels something that pushes quite insistently, through their pants, against the cleft of his ass, and it makes his body go even more pliant under Jongin’s hands.

Soon, the younger is rutting against him, his thrusts short and needy, and Kyungsoo moves his hips in tandem with the other’s for he is also desperate.  

All the while, Jongin’s hands continue to caress him, at times playing with his nipples only to then slide down all the way to his pelvis, adding pressure to his bladder area but never touching his now hard member, the fabric of his pants now taunt around his crotch.

Jongin’s sloppy kisses to his neck and ears and temples are pure torture, eliciting far too pleasant sensations that travel all the way down to his toes and cause him to moan, louder and louder.

Before he knows it, there is a wet patch at the front of his pants, and Jongin deliberately avoids it, only ever circling the special spot, his hands oh so warm and still nice against his stomach.

In spite of himself, Kyungsoo feels a slow orgasm build up inside of him the longer Jongin pushes his cock against his ass, his stomach ache completely forgotten as wonderful hands continuously roam all over his body.

Soon, too soon, he feels it coming.

Jongin is aware of it, too, and he knows just what to do to bring him over the edge; one of his hands suddenly cups Kyungsoo’s leaking member through his pants while the other presses down on the area just under his navel, and he loses it.

He comes with a high-pitched whimper, the front of his pants becoming completely wet and warm in a matter of seconds as he desperately rides his orgasm out against Jongin’s hand.

Behind him, Jongin swears, bites down on his shoulder to the point Kyungsoo knows it’ll leave a deep mark, and then he, too, reaches his own relief.

Everything is hot and sticky, but somehow, Kyungsoo only wants to bask in the aftermath of their intimacy.

His eyelids are heavy, far too heavy for him to care about cleaning up; he feels Jongin’s soft lips against his, and then he settles once more into his embrace, sated and numb in the most perfect of ways.