Chapter Text
Disclaimer: I do not own Supergirl or its characters. I own only the plots/ideas/situations that I have placed the characters in, the OCs, and the soulmark stuff too.
Marry me. Seriously, marry me, please? Every time she traced the elegant cursive, she felt warm. She honestly expected Alex's marks to be the illegible scrawling of scientists and doctors.
Who knows, it might make you feel differently about...things. Her fingers stalled on these letters as her memories of her time at the soul center filled her mind.
“Miss Sawyer,” The voice addressing her sounded muffled, as though they were spoken through a thick wall. Her eyes remained on the window next to her desk. “Miss Sawyer, if you do not engage in the class I will send you to Isolation.”
She tracked the snowflakes as they fell past the window. She'd hated the snow but now, Maggie loved it. It was pretty, but it was cold and heavy. “Figures.”
“Mr. Vhon, please escort Miss Sawyer to Isolation.”
With effort she shifted her attention from the window to the instructor. Her face was blank, as blank as her right arm; the last of the warmth from her first marks had disappeared. She stared at the instructor until Mr. Vhon placed his hand on her shoulder, a silent request to rise from her chair. “Mrs. Tenor, is I-Isolation really the best place for a S-Soul splinter?”
She couldn't hear the orders Mrs. Tenor barked to Mr. Vhon over the chattering of her teeth. Her head was heavy and she couldn't hold it up anymore. The left side of her face burned as it rested on the cold metal of her desk. The heaviness traveled to her eyelids, and try as she might, they closed; shutting out the world.
“Maggie?”
She shifted further into the blanket as a sharp blade of frigid air hit her skin.
“Mags, can you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“Good, that's very good.” There was a hushed conversation that followed before her aunt continued, “Mags we need to know, what happened?”
“She told them. She told her parents about the card. They, they, they,” The sob ripped its way out of her chest. “called papa. He,” Her tears were hot and fast, another sob followed. “was waiting with a suitcase. He brought me here.”
“Oh my Mags.” She shifted closer to her aunt, unfortunately the centers' workers were incompetent.
“Ma'am as far as we could determine, Miss Sawyer is currently suffering extreme tactile sensitivity. Any physical contact with someone with a soul-bond will be excruciatingly painful.”
“What kind of back-ally soul center is this?” Her aunt spat. “Do you not recognize the significance of the colors my soulmarks are? I'm make them appear that way for a reason.”
Maggie snorted into the awkward silence. “The core of the letters are black, bordered by thin lines of gray, white, and purple. The black means she's Ace. Fucking idiots.”
“You're...the foremost Spirit healer in the world.”
“Does your head hurt?”
Maggie giggled in anticipation.
“I'm, sorry?”
“Did you strain any of your brain cells when finally decided to join the conversation?”
If she'd had any energy to roll over and face them, she would have, just to see the flush of embarrassment on the idiot's face. The very same flush she could feel through the heated blanket.
“Now, tell your interns to get the hell out of the way. So I can infuse soul-marks into my niece and help her through Soul splinter.”
[We are fire inside, we are an army asleep. We are a people awaking to follow their dreams. We don't have time for your games, we have our own goals to score. There are trophies to win instead of being one of yours.]
She shot up from the couch and snatched her phone from the coffee table, praying it wasn't an emergency; she was supposed to have the night off. “Yo, little Danvers, what idiot is threatening to ruin my night off?”
All she heard for the next few seconds was a choppy rendition of 'Pure Imagination' from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. What she heard of it before, it was abruptly cut off, was good. She was about to click end, and proceed to plan on teasing little Danvers about the butt dial when she heard, “Alex what's wrong? What is it?”
The burning heat spreading across her chest froze her in place.
“Um,” She willed her body to move, to end the call, to do something. In the back of her mind, she knew she deserved whatever happened next.
“Maggie doesn't want to have kids.”
Her chest was on fire. She knew in that moment, that having kids meant a lot to Alex.
“No, it, it.” Alex's defeated sigh sent a sharp spike of pain through the marks forming across her chest. “I agreed because that's what she wanted.”
A breathless gasp escaped her as another sharp spike rippled through her.
“Maggie's not gonna change her mind,” Maggie heard the slight hysterical catch in her voice when she said 'her mind.'
“and the only way we're going to work through it, is if I let it go.” The silence is not enough, not nearly enough to prepare her for what she hears. “And I've tried, Kara. I, I love her so much, that it hurts; that they hurt, my marks hurt when I think about it.”
She swallowed back her sob to avoid letting Kara know, that she was listening.
“And I convinced myself that that living a life wi...” Her marks were burning, sucking all the heat from the rest of her body. She was slowly going numb. “th her, it was enough.” Another defeat sigh, another spike from her marks. “But watching Ruby...”
“I want all the experiences that mom had with us, you know? I want, I want,” Every time Alex's voice trembled around a word, the vice around her heart and lungs constricted. “to take my kid camping, and I want to show her the constellations. I want to teach her how to read and throw a punch. And how to make cheesy Valentines. I want to give her soulmate the shovel talk.” Her mouth spread into a grin even as tears poured down her face; only Alex.
“And I want to hold her,” Her grin faded when she heard the steadying breath Alex took before continuing, “when she has a bad dream.” Alex was fighting so hard to keep her voice even.
“I want to tell her,” She wanted to crawl through the phone and wrap her soulmate in her arms. “that the world is a better place, because she's in it.”
“Yeah.” Little Danvers spoke so softly, but to Maggie it was like a firecracker exploded in her ear.
“I want all of it. I want to be a mom.” The heat over her heart pulsed in time with the beat. Her left hand clawed at her chest, in a vain attempt to pry the muscle free. “W-What am I going to do?”
Abruptly the call was cut off, she could still hear Alex breaking down into sobs. A single thought was on repeat inside Maggie's head: Kara you better be holding Alex while she cries.
“Mark shut the fuck up. I'm trying to concentrate.” She spat, “I will never go to prom with you.”
“Miss Sawyer, since you seem to be an expert on the subject of Soul-bonds, I want you to conduct today's lesson.”
Maggie sends a nasty glare to the annoying asshole next to her before giving Mr. Cray her attention. The color drains from her face when she sees the topic written on the white board: Soul splinter. Mr. Cray could smell blood in the water when she shakes her head. His smile is too wide, his teeth blindingly white. “Get up here and teach or get sent to a center, your choice.”
Mechanically she rises from her desk and stiffly walks up to the board. In an effort to appear normal to the class, she forces a smirk onto her face, and shoos Mr. Cray to his desk. “Sit down Lucas, you might just learn something.”
That gets a few snickers from the bottom-feeders in the back row. “Soul splinter is what happens when a bond is initiated but fails, spectacularly. In lay man's terms, it shatters and the subsequent backlash triggers Flash-freeze. Flash-freeze is what happens when your first soul-marks fade completely. As you all know, soul-marks warm up around your soulmate. The reason is three-fold, the first reason it can warm is to let you know that you've met your 'best possibility.'” She viciously stabbed the board to make that sentence's period.
“The second reason it can warm, is the formation of new soulmarks during the beginning phase of forging the bond. In this case, the heat varies and depending upon what emotions you and your soulmate are experiencing during a T.M.; Tether Moment. The final and third reason soulmarks are warm, is because soulmarks are a small piece of your soulmate's soul.
The Flash-freeze is the only way for the small piece of soul to leave your body without killing you. The Flash-freeze's most notable symptoms include: body-wide shivering, tactile sensitivity when in close proximity to people with finalized soul-bonds, total emotional shutdown with exception of feeling empty, numbness, extreme listlessness, and severely low body temperature.
All of these symptoms can be mitigated by anyone with a platonic soul-bond or an Ace soul-bond. Those who possess platonic or Ace bonds can infuse temporary soul-marks onto people suffering from Flash-freeze. However, the people with a platonic or Ace bond has to be related to, or bonded to a relation of the person with Soul splinter for it to work. A lesser known result of Soul splinter is the permanent sensitivity to cold weather and a lower than normal body temperature.
Soul splinter is basically a wound to your soul inflicted on you by a selfish coward who runs away from-”
“Class dismissed.” Mr. Cray's bark cut her off. She remained standing in front of the board, long after the last of the students left the room.
“I apologize, Miss Sawyer. It wasn't my intention to cause you any distress.”
“Congratulations, you failed. Am I free to go?”
“Yes.”
The heat was just on the side of bearable when she heard the soft creak of a floorboard. It was the same one that Alex had teased her about always stepping on. She was never really good at pretending to sleep, but tonight she knew, that Alex wouldn't notice. Wouldn't notice the tear tracks or how shallow her breaths were. Maggie wanted to so desperately snuggle into her soulmate's side, Alex was her favorite space heater, but stayed where she was.
She listened to Alex struggle to keep quiet as she started to cry again, not wanting to disturb her as well as avoiding a huge fight, a fight she wouldn't get. At some point Alex had grabbed her arm, and for the first time since they started dating; Alex was cold to the touch. Her eyelids opened just enough for her to see if there was a soulmark on the arm, there was.
Long into the night the white-blue letters mocked her: Do you mean, kids? Sweetie, my not wanting kids has nothing to do with my parents or my childhood. My feelings for you are deeper and stronger than anything I've ever known. I can picture our life together and its rich and happy. But there aren't any kids in that picture. You're all that I need. I guess you got to let me know if you feel the same?