Work Text:
This was weird.
What Evan was doing, was weird. I mean, it's not his fault his new neighbor didn't close his blinds after getting out of the shower. That's why a now 'frustrated', tomatoed faced Evan Hansen was hidden under his covers in his dark room with his hands firmly on top of the blankets, to not make himself feel like a total perv.
When his mom told him that they had to move he didn't expect to move next door to a full-out one person porn show. Evan had never kissed a girl, let alone watched porn, but now, because of the soaking wet neighbor across Evans lawn, he felt a familiar pitfall into his stomach. He watched as the boy towel dried his hair while staring into a body length mirror that Evan could not see but assumed was there. Since the boy was facing the wall Evan could only see the profile of him and his long lanky body. There was a towel riding low on the boy's hips, but nothing too graphic was showing to Evan's pleasure.
Evan knew he shouldn't be watching, he knew what he was doing was creepy and probably illegal, but he couldn't look away. There was something about the boy through the window that made Evan feel a way he never felt before. It made him want to watch porn! But he knew the whole time he'd be thinking about his neighbor and again, that's creepy.
Evan's mind tuned back to the show his neighbor was putting on. As he gave his damp hair a final shake he turned from the mirror and walked into the part of his room Evan could not see. Every few moments Evan would watch a shadow dance across the wall as if the boy had moved past a lamp. But just as soon as the show had started the boy walked back into Evan's line of vision, fully dressed, and flipped off the light switch next to his desk. The room Evan longed to be in faded away and the boy giving poor Evan Hansen inappropriate feelings felt like a figment of his imagination.
He tried to retrace the steps of everything that had just happened.
He helped his mom finish bringing boxes into the house. He remembered looking at the house that he'd soon be drooling at, when he asked who lived there his mom told him, but he couldn't remember. Damn it! The nice tall house obviously caught Evan's attention since it was way nicer than his new one. But any house was better than his original house.
After that he took a shower, he felt it may have been more seductive if he knew that he was naked at the same time as the handsome boy next door. Evan dried himself in the bathroom and put on lose pajama pants before reentering his bedroom.
It took all of five minutes before Evan noticed him, within those minutes he turned off his overhead light and grabbed his laptop, ready to snuggle in and watch some Gilmore Girls. But that plan was obviously postponed when he noticed that he had left his blinds open and that's when he saw him. The tall boy was closing his bedroom door, he had a towel around his shoulders and his waist. Evan froze as he watched him stretch his arms over his head and yawned. Evan felt like he was going to faint. And, you know the rest.
That night Evan dreamed of the stranger, just the same as the night, drying himself off. When Evan awoke the next morning, he still felt unbelievably weird, thankfully his exterior problem had calmed down but he couldn't believe he had watched some guy he didn't know be basically naked.
His neighbor looked about the same age as him, school started tomorrow, what if they had a class together, what if he had actually seen Evan watching him! Evan's mind was racing with horrific possibilities but eventually decided to let life play out and got out of bed.
He was greeted with his mother's warm smile,
"Hey Ev, you'd sleep well in your new bed?"
"Yea mom, much better than the old house," Evan let out a small laugh.
"Oh god, I think the streets would be better than my old bed! Remember, I was basically sleeping on the floor." Even though their situation wasn't the best Evan's mom could always make him smile and make him feel needed.
As Evan sat down he grew the urge to ask his mom about their neighbors, but couldn't muster up the courage for fear she might think something was up. He tried to erase the neighbor out of his mind and started reading a circular his mom had out on the table.
"Hey, our new neighbor's, the Degennaro's, invited us over for a welcome to the neighborhood sort of dinner tonight. Do you want to go?" Evan's heart rate picked up, could this be the boy he'd seen.
"Uh, the n-neighbors next door?" The had moved onto a corner so they only had one house next to them.
"No, they live across the way, Lisa and her two daughters, I think?" Evan almost let out a sigh of relief. As much as he wanted to meet this boy, he didn't really want to do it at a housewarming party with his mom.
"Oh, I think I'll sit this one out, you should go though!" Evan's mom smiled and nodded then went back to reading an article on her phone.
When Evan returned to his room an hour later he was hesitant to look out the window. After he finally mustered up the courage, he was disappointed to find the room still dark and only being illuminated by the morning sun. Evan wondered if the boy was still sleeping or if Evan had missed him sneak out.
Evan wanted to believe that he wasn't waiting for a glimpse of the boy to finally wake up or return to his room. But he knew that was the reason he couldn't stay focused on whatever was happening on his laptop. Evan kept unbreaking eye contact with the window for such a long time he eventually began to daydream but was startled when there was movement across the way.
The door had sprung open and a woman walked into the room, she must have been his mom. She began to approach the other side of the room (where Evan assumed the bed was) but stopped, she frowned began to fidget with things on the desk. Maybe the boy was in bed and grumbled at the mom, Evan would never know. But, the woman's mouth moved as she faced the bed and put her hands on her hips, but soon turned and left the room leaving the door open. Evan was about to get up but froze when he saw a disgruntled boy shuffle across the floor. It was him, his neighbor, well, of course, it was, who else would be sleeping in this room.
The boy was wearing a grey t-shirt and lose red flannel pants. He slowly moved over to his door and closed it, after it had shut he leaned his head against, whether in anguish or exhaustion, Evan couldn't tell. He just knew the boy wasn't happy.
Evan's mom had gone out later that night and told her son that'd she wouldn't be home too late. Evan took a shower and got ready for bed like he would any other night but before crawling into bed Evan's attention was drawn outside.
He heard music blaring through the neighborhood, he had expected it to be coming from the party his mom was at but was shocked when he realized it was his neighbor with the loud music taste.
The room was light up with only the desk lamp casting wild shadows onto the ceiling and Evan could tell the laptop sitting on top was turned on to Spotify. Evan tried to picture what the handsome boy looked like laying on his bed with his head resting on the wall, eyes shut, just enjoying the music. He daydreamed a bit too far when he started imagining himself next to him, this was able to shake Evan back to reality just in time to see the boy he was thinking about.
And he was dancing. Evan couldn't believe his eyes, this boy who Evan had assumed was 'edgy' when he watched him leave last night in all black, was full out bopping to a song that sounded contemporary.
He watched as the long-haired figure swayed his body in front of his mirror. Evan was in awe, he moved closer to his window and sat down. He realized that if the boy were to look over he would just see a pair of alligator eyes watching him, which may have been weirder than just a confused teenage boy. But Evan decided it was worth it to get a closer look at the boy he may have been hypothetically falling in love with look content and peaceful, even if it was to cheesy pop music.
Evan let out small puffs of laughter when the boy would accidentally slip or hit the wall after an enthusiastic spin. Watching the boy in total glee made Evan want to get up and dance, his heart thumped imagining taking the boy to prom and allowing him to spin in public.
His thoughts were halted when the boy turned his head towards Evan's window. In a second Evan threw himself to the ground and let his head crash on the hardwood floors. He was sure he got caught, his creeping had been put to a stop before it had even started. He had never felt so embarrassed and sinful in his entire life. Evan laid on the floor for a few moments longer trying to stop the tears from coming out of his eyes, but eventually sat up.
When he did he was pleasantly surprised to realize that the boy hadn't seen him and went right back to dancing. Once his heart starting beating normally Evan decided it was probably best to draw the blinds and go to bed, but his neighbor had the same idea first.
Evan remained silent as he watched the boy lean over the desk chair, one arm on the control pad, the other on the top of the chair. He stayed like that for a while, he looked as if he was trying to decide something, but Evan couldn't see his screen. Eventually, he straightened his posture and left the room. Before he could return Evan turned out his light, closed his blinds and logged onto Netflix.
"So you've been watching your new neighbor and you're calling me because you're afraid you're going to see him in school?" The sarcastic voice rang through Evan's ears.
He didn't many friends back in his old town but Evan discovered that he couldn't really escape this one character; Jared Kleiman. While Jared wasn't Evan's first choice it felt nice not to be a total loser.
"Yea Jared, what am I supposed to do if he's in one of my cl-classes,"
"Uh, I don't know, act like he didn't give you a total boner. Hey, since when were you gay anyway?"
"I am not gay!" Evan pleaded.
"Hmmm, whatever you say man, but this whole situation sounds very, very gay."
In a huff, Evan hung up on his only friend and picked up his backpack that was leaning against his bedroom door. He looked across his yard to his neighbor's house before he left, the room was still dark like the other day and there was no sign of life. Evan took a hopeful breath and left his room.
"Have a great day, sweetie! I won't see you until tomorrow morning but text me how your day went." Today was also Evan's mom's first-day at her new job, she told Evan that she was going to have to put in a lot of extra hours if she wanted to make an impression.
They had moved 5 minutes away from the local high school so Evan chose to walk rather than use his old, beaten down car. As he began to walk down his front porch he heard a door slam from his left. He turned expecting to see the tall, brooding boy he watched dance last night but instead was surprised to see a small framed girl instead quickly walking away from the house. Her steps were quick but she stopped in front of Evan, who was still standing still watching her from the end of his porch.
"Hey, you're our new neighbor!" She said with a sweet voice, "Wanna walk with me to school?" Evan nodded and caught up with her, they began walking. "I'm Zoe."
"E-Evan," They shook hands.
The whole walk Evan was waiting for Zoe to mention the boy living in her house, was he her brother, her cousin, her very young looking dad? But she kept the conversation light and happy, he told her about his old school and she told him what to expect for his new one.
They parted ways once she told him how to get to all his classes and exchanging numbers so they could meet up and walk home, with that she walked down the hall with a dark-skinned girl. Evan was pretty ecstatic that he had already kind of made a friend and a girl too! He couldn't wait to go home and tell Jared of his accomplishment, but his good mood was shattered when the late bell rang and he forgot where Zoe said his first block was.
For the next week, Evan fell into a routine, wake up, look at his neighbor's window, see nothing, walk with Zoe to school, walk home with Zoe, do homework, then spend his night watching the boy sit at his desk. He was never doing anything too particularly exciting which made Evan feel better about this whole thing.
The first time Zoe had mentioned him was his fourth day in the routine.
"God, my brother is such a dick." She whined as she threw her plastic coffee cup in a garbage can on the street. Evan didn't make the connection at first, he had actually forgotten Zoe and the boy he was stalking lived in the same house, "He just, ugh! He doesn't care, can you believe he hasn't gone to a single day of school yet, my parents are so mad at him."
"Oh w-wow, uh, why not?" Once Evan realized she was talking about his boy he wanted to hear more but didn't want his new friend to know.
"I don't know because he wants to piss my dad off. He's a bit of a stoner, can't blame him, to be honest. I just feel really bad for him you know, my parents will never admit it but, he's depressed. God knows why he is, but you can definitely tell just by the way he acts." Evan's heart hurt for the boy he still didn't have a name too, "He's still a dick though," Zoe finished with a laugh before entering the school and waving Evan goodbye.
And that was all he knew about the boy, that he was not as great as Evan had imagined him, but that didn't stop Evan's heart from thumping every time he appeared in the window frame. Every night, Zoe's brother would sit down at his desk at about 5:30 and stay till as late as 2, Evan always fell asleep watching him but one night he had woken up just as the boy was turning off his desk lamp. Tonight was different though.
It was almost 6:30 and there was still no sign of the boy. Evan grew anxious and kept finding excuses to go downstairs hopping when he returned to see the boy, but his empty kitchen just made him miss his mom. He watched his clock and played games on his phone until the light in the room turned on a half an hour later. But, Zoe's brother wasn't fully in the room, just his hand on the light, Evan couldn't see his face but he could hear his voice.
"Fuck off, dad!" His voice sounded different then what Evan had expected, maybe because it was muffled by walls. Evan opened his window and accepted the cold air just as an attempt to hear better.
"Connor, you better knock it off before you make me seriously mad!" Evan could only hear keywords from the deeper voice. But, he did hear Connor, that was his name, what a good name. Now is really not that time.
"Oh, so you're threatening your children now! You hear that Zoe? Better hide cause Larry's on a rampage," The mention of Zoe made Evan anxious, maybe he should text to make sure she's alright, but then she would know he was eavesdropping. In reality, the whole neighborhood was probably listening.
Connor slammed the door and the house went quiet again. His computer chair was facing the door and he pathetically threw his body onto it causing it to spin. Evan was able to catch a glimpse of his face before he put his head in his hands. He was crying. It seemed like a silent cry with the way his shoulder jumped up and down every so slightly.
Evan's heart ached, a boy he had no connection too was in pain and he couldn't do anything about it. He watched him cry for a minute or two before he decided to text Zoe. He was sat on the floor and looked down to pick up his phone that was resting on the ground next to him. When he looked up at the boy again Evan almost vomited when he noticed the boy no longer had his head in his hands but was standing and looking right at Evan.
He had caught him.
Evan spluttered but couldn't move. Connor looked horrified, his tear-stained face made Evan want to move back to his shitty old life just so he didn't have to experience what would happen next.
Connor walked closer to the window and drew them closed, shutting Evan out. He sat there for a minute, thinking about the monstrosity that had just taken place before getting up, closing his own blinds and fell onto his bed. It took a total of two minutes before he began to sob.
He fell asleep that night in his jeans and forgot to text Zoe.
Unfortunately, Evan woke up the next morning.
He had a dream where instead of Connor being disgusted with him, he waved at him.
Too bad that didn't happen though.
Evan opened his blinds just to look at the car crash that was his life. The tears started to fill his eyes again when he saw that Connor's blinds were still drawn but now there was a big piece of paper that read;
Stop looking at me, perv
Evan was thankful his mom had left for work early so she didn't see him crying or yell at him for leaving for school late. Zoe had sent a concerned text about why he wasn't waiting for her, but Evan just dismissed her that he had woken up late and that he'd see her later.
He arrived at first period 20 minutes late and kept his head down all day.
His mom still wasn't home when Evan slumped through the front door. He planned on just laying in all day and mourning the loss of his non-existing relationship, but when he entered his room his blinds were still open and so were Connor's.
Evan sat on his bed and tried to dismiss the window, eventually, he fell asleep.
He woke up much later and found a sticky note on his desk.
Sorry I missed you, honey, see you tomorrow xx mom
Evan tucked the note away and checked his phone. He had some twitter notifications and Jared sent him a meme, but one message caught his eye.
Unknown:
Why were you watching me
Evan's breathe caught in his throat, was it his neighbor, how did he get his number?
Unknown:
Look up
He did as he was told and was met with the eyes of the Connor Murphy staring at him. He watched as the boy across the way looked down at his phone.
Unknown:
I saw you with my sister, I got onto her phone and found your number
I wanted to know why you were stalking me
Evan:
I didn't mean too,
Your blinds were always open
I promise I never saw anything!
I'm so sorry
Connor:
Wow, calm down
Uh, I guess you're right I was kind of asking for it
Evan looked up and Connor was no longer standing near the window.
Connor:
Look out your window at 2 am
Evan never texted back but set an alarm on his phone for 1:50 am, his stomach bubbled with excitement, maybe Connor wanted to hang out. Maybe they'd sneak out and look at trees. Anything.
Evan went to bed much easier that night.
The alarm blared right on time, his house was quiet and undisturbed, his mom probably wouldn't be home for two more hours.
Evan sat up and looked in his mirror, trying to make himself look decent not knowing what to expect. When he looked over at Connor's room he could only see the glow of his laptop.
Evan:
hey :-)
Evan waited patiently for a response but nothing ever came.
At 2:23, he started feeling like an idiot, Connor was standing him up for a date that wasn't a date.
Right when he was about to turn off the light and go back to sleep, someone flipped on the desk light.
It was Connor.
And oh my god was it Connor.
When he walked into Evan's line of vision it gave him flashbacks on the first time he ever saw the boy. He had no shirt on and only a pair of loose grey sweatpants. He didn't acknowledge Evan and just sat down at his desk.
Evan was sat on his bed legs tucked under the cover watching Connor scroll on his laptop. After a while Connor stopped, Evan jittered in anticipation.
Connor's skinny fingers danced along his waistband as he leaned back in his chair. He dragged his hand up and down his stomach watching his computer intensely. Evan could not tear his eyes away from his neighbor.
What on Earth was happening? He felt as if he had the wind knocked out of him and he almost fully lost consciousness when Connors' hand dipped into the fabric. At first, he was just kneading his crotch but eventually, it turned into full out stroking below the belt.
Connor had subtly turned his chair so it was facing his window. Evan watched as he threw his head back with every quick paced jolt of his hand. Evan felt himself growing warm, but his arms felt numb and heavy.
The neighbor opened his mouth and Evan assumed he had released a moan. His mouth continued to open and close as if he was gasping for air, he had pushed himself up on the chair, Evan could see all of his ribs poking out of his skin. The hand that wasn't wrapped around himself kept circling from Connor's hair to the back of the chair for support. Connor was no longer watching his computer but was fully facing Evan with his eyes shut.
The wondering hand had found its way to Connor's pants eventually. He stood on his tippy toes lifting himself from the chair for a second so he could pull his pants down just far enough that his head was poking out. His hand moved faster and he opened his eyes, he was looking at Evan. Connor opened his mouth one more time before he finished all over himself.
His eyes were now fully opened and still attached to Evan. Evan was watching Connor breathe heavily, a smirk appeared on his face as the boy reached for his phone.
Connor:
Sorry, I just like being watched ;-)
Connor took a tissue and whipped himself down before shutting off the light and disappearing into the unseen part of the bedroom.
Evan went to school the next day very tired.
Evan hadn't heard from Connor in days. He had seen him in school once or twice since the 'incident' but they never spoke to one another. Evan felt as if he did something wrong. Was he supposed to put on a show too? Did Connor think he didn't like it? Because, oh boy did he like it.
Zoe never said anything to him, which was good because he would have been mortified if she found that he had watched her brother masturbate.
Oh god, he had watched Connor jerk himself off.
Jared was right, he is gay.
It had been exactly 6 days when Evan saw Connor in the window. He was standing, staring into Evan's room. It was late so his bedroom light was off, but once Evan noticed Connor he flicked it on.
Connor:
Is anyone home at your house?
Evan:
My mom is asleep, why?
Connor:
Sneak out
Evan's stomach dropped, Connor wanted to hang out with him. As much as Evan wanted to swan dive out his window right at that moment, the idea of sneaking out freaked him out.
Evan:
Uh, I don't think I can
Connor:
Yes you can, just be quiet and walk out your front door
I'll be waiting in front of my house
When Evan looked back up at his window, he watched Connor put on a jacket and quickly move out his bedroom door leaving the light on. In fear of leaving Connor out in the cold, he pushed his anxious thoughts away and went to meet the mysterious boy he had been dreaming about.
As Evan approached his neighbor's house he could already see a figure smoking a cigarette, he assumed this was Connor.
"Hey," the quiet voice startled Evan, it was a lot like when he first interacted with Zoe, just the positions were switched. Evan felt a twitch in his pants when he heard Connor's voice relaxed for the first time as his mind started imagining him moaning.
Now was not the time.
Evan kept walking till he was a centimeter away from Connor. He expected to see car keys in his hand but instead, Connor just opened the door and leaned in the frame.
"Coming in?" Evan hesitated, he didn't want to go into Connor's house! He knew Zoe was sleeping over her friend Alana's but what about their parents, it was obvious if Evan ended up in his room unholy things would happen, and he really didn't need the Murphy's walking in on them. "Don't worry no one is home." Connor dropped his cigarette and grabbed Evan's hand pulling him into the house.
Connor did not drop his hand until they were in Connor's room. Even though he claimed no one was home he still shut the door. Evan turned around and looked at the room, now in total view, not just the one corner his window showed. To be honest, he wasn't missing much. Past the window, there was just Connor's bed and closet. As Evan looked at the desk chair memories flashed into his mind and he looked out the window to see his dark room looking back at him.
As Evan stood there in awe of actually being on the other side of the window Connor's thin arms slinked around his waist.
"So, you're a little creep, huh?" he whispered into Evan's ear making him blush. "Watching someone you don't even know, that's pretty weird." Evan felt like he should have been embarrassed but Connor's hot breath on his neck distracted him too much.
Evan turned around so Connor's hands could rest on the small of Evan's back. Evan never realized how tall Connor was till just now, and he smelt good, well he had the potential to smell good but it was masked with smoke at the current moment.
The shorter boy waited in anticipation for his first kiss, he knew it was going to happen within the next 2 minutes, what he didn't expect was to be slammed against the window before it happened.
Their lips touched as Connor's hands slipped into Evan's back pockets. Tounges collided and Evan found his way to Connor's hair. They stayed pressed against the window for a short time before Evan pulled Connor to fall onto his bed.
Kissing was not as romantic as Evan had always imagined. When he was young he pictured his taking the girls face in his hand and pecking her in an innocent way, not having an angsty teen boy shove his tongue down his throat as he slipped his shirt off. The only time their lips separated was when Connor was biting Evan's neck or to take off items of clothing.
Evan pushed himself up on the bed so his head was resting. He closed his eyes in bliss as Connor unzipped his pants.
After their fun, both boys had fallen asleep. At 5 am Evan woke up, he collected his clothes, put on a sweatshirt that didn't belong to him and began to leave.
He might have been innocent but he understood what a one night stand was.
Right before Evan made his way out of the sleeping boy's room and hand pulled him back.
"Leaving without saying goodbye?" Connor towered over him, his hair still a mess from the sex and sleep but looked beautifully tamed at the same time.
"Oh, I would have thought you just wanted me to l-leave," Evan said quietly even though there was no one to wake up.
"I was already awake and I wanted to thank you for a great time."
And just like in Evan's perfect world Connor took Evan's face in his hand and pressed a sweet, short kiss on his lips. He grabbed his hand and walked him out. Connor only had sweatpants on and shivered when he opened the front door letting all the cold air race into the house.
"Can't wait till next time," Connor laughed as he kissed Evan more.
Evan was shocked that the same boy that was emotionlessly pounding into him last night was now showering him with kisses and making Evan feel like the most wanted boy in the world.
Evan felt like he glided home and as he watched the sun come up over the horizon, Connor's parting words swam through his mind.
He couldn't wait either.