Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Well done, you damn genius! You ruined everything!”

“Me!? It was you who fucked up the thing!”

“What do you mean the thing ?? See? You don’t even know how this castle works!”

“For fuck’s sake! It took you weeks to realize the castle was a damn ship!”

“And you yet haven’t realized that mullet looks ridiculous!”

“Guys! Calm down!” Lance didn’t even notice Shiro was in the room until he felt the hard press of his robotic hand on his chest, pushing him away from an equally infuriated Keith “What’s going on?”

His slim fingers curled and clawed into Shiro’s grip, senseless and drove by mere fury as he tried to set himself free. He didn’t acknowledge the presence of the other paladins in the control center, nor the fact there maybe were more important issues to worry about. Hell, he didn’t even acknowledge Keith right then. Only a voice he wanted to outsmart, and a face he wished he could sink his nails on.

“What’s going on, you ask?” Said face opened its mouth again, and the noise could have been the roar of a rusted engine for all Lance knew “Ask that smartass!”

Even though Shiro didn’t have two metal arms, his regular hand was still strong enough to keep a wild, enraged Keith from killing his prey cold blooded. Lance stared unamused as the restless tangle of fury attempted to escape its restrains, and it wasn’t until he thought of the perfect sneer that he realized he must have looked fairly pathetic himself.

He tried to calm down, but with every new insult or punch Keith threw into the air, he found his own muscles clenching again and betraying him into anger. It took the sight of a very much disappointed Allura, standing with her arms crossed and her eyebrows knit, for them to finally find their cool.

“Enough!” The sweetness of her royal accent wasn’t enough to conceal the hatred in her voice, as Shiro let go of both of their shirts and let them fall to the ground “May I know why is the Red Lion not at its base!?”

What had been some serene full seconds of silence, were followed by yet another round of insults and pretexts between the two paladins. Which, of course, weren’t very appreciated by the rest of the team.

“It was Keith’s idea to-!”

“Lance was the one who fucked up the-!”

“I don’t care whose fault it was!” Allura pinched the bridge of her nose “Just tell me what happened, and where on space is the Red Lion!”

Lance and Keith stared at each other and, for the first time in what felt like hours, it wasn’t a look of menace. Once they realized the princess’ wrath would fall upon them both equally, their eyes met with some sense of solidarity. Sympathy, maybe. The indisputable knowledge they were both just as doomed.

“Princess Allura!” Before either of them got the chance to think of a proper defense, Coran had entered the room looking considerably agitated “We are heading towards a dangerous amount of quintessence! I need you to pilot us out of here, before it sucks us in and destroys us!”

The look of sympathy between the two guilty paladins wasn’t late to turn into a wise sense of fear, as Allura’s expression morphed in realization.

“What is that quintessence, exactly?” She asked Coran; voice serene, left eye twitching.

“It’s a space hole! Just like the one that sucked Voltron into that parallel universe that one time! Remember? The evil Altean empire? This one’s much smaller, but it’s still dangerous! We can’t risk getting through it with the ship!”

He spoke impatiently, with a worried grimace peeking from under his moustache.

But Allura didn’t seem to be listening to his latest warnings. Her attention was fully set, instead, in the pair of clumsy idiots and the guilty look of horror now plastered on their faces.

“Keith, Lance…” She said between her teeth “Please tell me the Red Lion is not where I think it is”

“Well, technically we can’t read your mind, so we don’t know exactly what you are thinking, my fair princess” Lance tried, speaking to nowhere as not to look at Allura in the eye “Therefore, we can’t really tell you if Red is actually where you think it is, since…”

“THIS IS NO JOKE!”

The rest of the paladins stared in pitiful silence, as if they were about to witness a cutthroat. No funny ice-breakers from Hunk, no witty comments from Pidge. Only Shiro looked like he wanted to say something, but he seemed too nervous to open his mouth.

“Did the Red Lion…” The princess proceeded, seemingly scared of her own question “…fall through the quintessence hole?”

Lance glanced at Keith with the corner of his eye, only to realize they were staring at each other. All malice had already withered within them, proving once again the bipolar nature of their relationship. They were partners in crime, after all. It was only logical for them to fall into yet another express, compromised friendship.

At least, for as long as Allura’s scolding lasted.

“We just wanted to investigate, ok?” Keith acted confidently, although his avoiding stare said otherwise “I tried to pilot Red but Lance said he’s the red paladin now and he should do it, and he got into the lion with me and we started arguing…”

“We didn’t touch anything, I swear! It was the lion who spit us into the empty space as if we were garbage!” Lance added.

“Yeah! We were just…having a little fight”

“Exactly! A tiny, little fight…”

The vein in Allura’s forehead looked ready to combust.

“And so you just let the Red Lion jump through the quintessence hole!?”

“There was nothing we could do!” Lance said “The Lion went freakin coo-coo! We tried to get into Blue and stop her before it was too late but she was gone before we could say our prayers!”

Within the tense atmosphere, no one had noticed Pidge pulling out her laptop. The situation left little room to attention. It was only after she cleared her throat that she gave herself a presence, and every head in the room turned to look at the young girl in the corner, face hidden behind her massive glasses, reflecting numbers and symbols from the screen.

“I’m trying to locate Red but she’s nowhere to be found” She muttered through her focused pout “Her coordinates are nonexistent”

“We went through one of those things before, right?” Hunk showed up too “We could do it again and look for Red”

“Last time we had Voltron” Pidge said, matter-of-factly “We need it because it’s made from the same material as that force, any other ship would be completely destroyed. And we can’t form Voltron without Red”

Lance saw Allura cover her own mouth with dread, and he couldn’t help but feeling disgustingly guilty. Again, his childish nature had gotten in the way, and he had proven himself and the team his latent incompetence. Shame wouldn’t even let him share the fault with Keith, who still looked way too temperamental to feel somewhat sorry. He wished he could blame him, he wished he could turn the guilt into hatred and let it out in some insult about his mullet, but he was in no mood to fool himself right then. He had been foolish enough for one day.

“Don’t let your hopes down, team. We will find a way out of this” Shiro clapped, the noise muted because of the metal hand, but getting everyone’s attention all the same “We just need to think of something”

“This quintessence hole is significantly smaller than the one we dealt with before” Pidge spoke swiftly, eyes still on the screen and fingers still typing restlessly “Maybe we don’t need Voltron, maybe the mass of the Black Lion is enough to get through it by itself”

“I can do the calculations, check if there really isn’t any danger” Hunk ran towards one of the castle’s processor units, losing no time to start working “Coran, please help me out”

“I’ll be piloting” Keith didn’t hesitate either “My skills may be necessary and the Black Lion is my responsibility now”

“I’ll go with you” Shiro put a hand on his stiff shoulder and they nodded at each other understandingly, any previous sign of tension suddenly melting as both former and current black paladins made their way to the biggest lion “Keep it up, everybody. We’ll get Red back!”

Everyone moved around the castle in an instinctual, perfect pace; fitting into the team and playing their role like the essential, functioning gear of a motor. Just like with Voltron. They all connected and worked together as if they were one. Shrio was always the heart, the leader, the common spirit fixing them all together. Pidge was the undeniable brain. Hunk was enviously functional, the skilled and so necessary hands. And Keith, Keith was the guts. Keith was the passion and the drive and the verve. The man of action, the very first punch, the adrenaline running through every nerve. He was difficult to rival; his instincts and his power of will were a hard goal to achieve, and his shoes were way too big for any nobody to fill.

Everyone had a purpose, everyone had a role to fulfill.

Everyone but Lance, and his way too small feet.

Lance paced around the lion in the childish hope he could somehow make the time pass faster. It didn’t. If anything, the constant rumble of his footsteps made the flight even more annoying for everyone around.

What logic told him had barely been a couple of minutes could have been hours for all he knew. Coran had suggested it was better if they gathered some speed before thrusting into such a large amount of quintessence and Shiro had taken the advice way too seriously, flying a bunch of kilometers away.

“We need to stay together” He had said “All of us should go, so in the case of finding any enemies we don’t have to fight alone”

In the end, both Alteans had stayed at the castle. They couldn’t fly such a huge ship it to the mission, plus they needed someone to keep an eye on the space hole while they were gone. If anything happened to the portal while they were away, there was a chance they wouldn’t be able to get back to their universe.

The Black Lion’s main cabin wasn’t built for five paladins, especially not for those one with restless, pacing feet. So as Shiro piloted and made some preparations for the journey, the rest of the team was limited to a cramped space of action. Hunk was counting their food supplies, in case they had to stay there for a long time. Keith was sitting by the window, and Pidge was still investigating the quintessence through her laptop. Out of mere boredom, Lance ended up looking over her shoulder.

“Watcha doin’?” He asked, making her jump a little “Calculating the chance of us dying a painful, intergalactic death?”

“Nope, there’s no way of reaching that percentage” She said, paying little to no attention to the nosy head breathing over her neck “And besides, if I happened to know the prospect, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be happy to hear it”

“Yikes” It didn’t scare him as much as it probably should have “Any chance we end up in a parallel, perfect reality where beautiful Cuban people have taken over the universe instead of the Galra? I would be a great emperor”

“I don’t think there’s quintessence enough in the entire cosmos to take us to such a far reality, Lance” The fact she wasn’t even laughing made it even more insulting “Quite the reverse, actually. This is a pretty small portal, that other universe shouldn’t be very different from ours”

“Boring! What’s the point of traveling through realities if you don’t get to see crazy stuff?”

“Finding the Red Lion” This time, she did smirk deviously “Which you lost”

Lance hid a genuine pout with a silly, theatrical one.

“I came here to have fun and honestly I’m feeling so attacked right now”

Pidge shrugged, giggling to herself, her eyes not leaving the screen even once.

Lance gave up. Somehow jokes didn’t quite feel like jokes, and he wasn’t able to distract himself from the insisting weight on his chest.

He instinctively turned to look at Keith, who was leaning over the window, mindlessly playing with his clasp-knife. The scene seemed oddly familiar, and he couldn’t help but remembering those dreading road trips with his family back on earth. Every now and then, Lance or his sibling would misbehave, they would kick the front seats or mock each other, until his mother turned around from the driver’s seat and distributed a random share of smacks. The situation usually ended in a quiet ride, with his mother driving tranquil, and one or more guilty children staring through the window in frightened silence.

That was exactly how Keith looked like right then. Pouty and sorry and low-key angry, like a kid who had just been scolded but was just too proud to whine.

“What’s up, mullet?” He approached him, driven by that intermittent sense of solidarity, the compulsory brotherhood of feeling like hell “Everything ok?”

The loud sigh he let out was enough of an answer.

Lance sat down with him, for the first time feeling somewhat welcome since he stepped into the ship. After all, when they had a common enemy to keep them from fighting each other, he wasn’t that bad of a company. And right then they were both facing together a monstrous sense of guilt.

They fell into a comfortable muteness he pretended to know how to perform, but it didn’t take long for him to give up and fill in the silence.  

“If you are going to fool around with a knife, you better do it properly” He teased, taking the sharp toy away from his hands “Wanna play the knife game?”

“The knife game?”

The look of confusion on his face reflected thrice as badly on Lance’s.

“The knife game! You don’t know the song?” The obliviousness was insistent “How can you call yourself a knife enthusiast if you never played the knife game??”

“How do you play?”

The lack of obvious rejection was certainly comforting. There were usually two default reactions Keith could have towards Lance: feverish annoyance, or outright indifference. The latest was the worst. Lance payed more attention to the red paladin that he cared to admit. He preferred to consider it just an unwanted side-effect of their rivalry, the classical need of acknowledgment from the enemy. It was better to be grudged than forgotten, in the end. And Lance wouldn’t let Keith forget his name ever again.

“The rules are simple” He said, opening the clasp knife and meeting his smiley reflection on the blade “You put your hand down like this, and try to stick the knife through all the places between your fingers without stabbing your own hand”

“That’s stupid”

“You are stupid” He pushed aside any interruptions, going back to his explanation “And while you play, you have to sing a song”

“What song?”

Lance spread his fingers and plucked his tongue out in concentration, ready to show off his talents.

“Oh, I have all my fingers, the knife goes chop chop chop. If I miss the spaces in-between my fingers will come off” He recited by memory, skillfully rolling the verses in sync with his hand “And if I hit my fingers the blood will soon come out. But all the same I play this game cause that’s what’s all about”

He didn’t know if Keith was really paying attention, but considering it included knives and a fervent competitive spirit, he most probably was.

“Oh chop chop chop chop chop chop, I’m picking up the speed. And if I hit my fingers then my hand will start to bleed”

He dropped the knife and did a small reverence, not missing the way Keith rolled his eyes in reaction.

“Why would anyone want to play that game?” He scoffed, crossing his arms and leaning back onto the window.

Once again, the pattern was persistent: either annoyance, or indifference.

Lance didn’t like that last option.

“What is it, are you scared?”

Dark, petty eyes went back and forth between the window and the blade

“No way…you are just doing it too slow”

The smirk of sheer satisfaction as Keith pulled the knife away from his hands was almost inevitable.

“Oh? I thought you said it was stupid?”

“Shut up”

Lance observed as Keith repeated his movements, swift and agile and disturbingly familiar with the weight of the weapon in his hand. His concentration face was funny, sort of. Not the expression itself, but the fact those could have been the same knitting of brows and frowning of lips he wore during a battle against the Galra.

It was mesmerizing to watch the game, both thrilling and distressing. Back at the garrison, when he played with his friends at lunch, it was the same twisted feeling. Few understood the joy of risk. Few understood that small rush of adrenaline that came with hazard. And very few understood that, sometimes, that’s all the emotion one can possibly get.

Unconsciously, he traced the old scar still staining his middle finger.

The point wasn’t to feel pain. The point was to feel you had the chance to feel that pain. That there was something to fight for, a purpose, even if it was the ridiculous victory in such a foolish game.

What would be the purpose of not playing at all?

“Keith, Lance! Stop that, you’ll ruin the floor” Shiro threw a disapproving glance at them, forcing the game to an end “The Black Lion is about to accelerate, we need to focus on our mission”

Before they could even open their mouth to complain, Shiro took the small clasp-knife away. He leered down at them, both fatherly and childishly, making his way back to the pilot’s seat.

Lance stared slyly at Keith only to realize he was looking back at him, mouth agape and hand still clutched around an object that wasn’t there anymore. No knife, no game, no excuse.

He was about to say something, anything that sounded like an apology without being one. But before he could open his mouth, a subtle grin cracked on Keith’s stoic face and Lance remained quiet. Blinking the shock away, he smiled back.

The game was stupid, the game was risky, and the game was nothing but a silly call for attention.

But the game was worth it, and Lance didn’t want to stop playing.

To say Lance was scared was an understandment.

Even though he would probably have preferred the term “cautious”, “wary” or “thoughtful”, there was no way to conceal the multiple shivers queuing to go down his spine.

The Black Lion had accelerated and so had his heart, and as they flew right towards the quintessence hole at full speed he almost voiced a prayer.

“Hey Hunk” He called out, leaning over his friend, using his much bigger body as support “Remember that time at the garrison when the older kids tied you upside down all night and you swore you could feel your stomach in your throat?”

“Uhm, yeah?”

“I think I kind of understand how you felt right now”

The sound Hunk let out through his nose wasn’t exactly a laugh, and Lance wasn’t exactly pleased.

“I truly don’t recommend you to stand by me right now, buddy” He said, hand pressed onto his belly “If you truly remember how that day at the garrison ended, then you’ll be wise and avoid having to do some cleaning”

“I don’t mind you throwing up” He really didn’t, he was way more focused on the yellow crack of light about to gulp them whole “If you do, though, point the load at Keith”

The red paladin didn’t gift him more acknowledgement than an aggravated glance from the other side of the room, and it didn’t last more than some glorious seconds before his attention went back to the frontal windshield, where the glowing quintessence hole only continued to get bigger and brighter.

Lance wondered if Keith’s face looked the same as he turned around. Was he still frowning? Was he indifferent? Did the portal’s glow make him narrow his eyes? Did his brows rise and his mouth fall open as they got even closer?

Was he scared?

“Ok, be ready guys” Shiro blew out, hands gripped powerfully around the controllers. Even though Lance didn’t get to see Keith’s expression, he didn’t miss the way his hold tightened onto the pilot’s backrest “We are going in”

The engines of the Black Lion let themselves be heard, buzzing loudly into the empty space, and driving them fast and straight into the yellow hole of luminescence.

They didn’t even have time to take one last look at the stars. Everything around them, the castle, the asteroids, the emptiness of the sky; it was all swallowed by the golden hurricane of beam.

Lance looked around, mouth agape, staring dazedly at how the lights played with the shadows in the ship. The shine was everywhere; eating up the sky and the reflections of every window and the glint of everyone’s eyes.

“Woah” He wasn’t the only one in trance, apparently. Hunk had walked all the way over to the front glass, pressing his hands against it “Does everyone else feel like they just met god?”

Without even looking at each other, they all nodded simultaneously.

The experience was so brute, so odd and surreal, that the familiarity of meeting the starry sky again as they made their way out felt somehow uncomfortable. As if it didn’t belong there, as if the stars and the clouds they were so used to were foreign, misplaced. After such a journey they seemed to be waiting a much bizarre destination, to the point they felt fairly weirded by the landscape they knew so well.

“Is everyone ok?” Shiro asked sternly, still tense and in full pilot position.

“What a ride” Pidge adjusted her glasses “That was pretty cool”

“I suddenly don’t feel nauseous anymore” Hunk said.

Shiro let out a breathy laugh, letting go of the controllers.

“That was so intense , what the hell” Lance jumped in his place and grabbed the pilot’s bicep like a little child “Can we do that again? Pretty please?”

“It’s not a rollercoaster, Lance” Keith stated “We need to find the Red Lion first”

“Which reminds me…” Shiro stepped in, standing up from his seat “That’s your duty, Lance”

Everyone, even Lance, seemed surprised about that.

“Me?”

“Yes, you. You are the current red paladin, aren’t you? You have a connection with Red, only you can find her now”

Only you.

Only you can find her now.

“Well, if you insist…” He pursed his lips, keeping the foolish joy from tugging at his mouth as he sat on the pilot’s seat.

Again, his eyes fell on Keith, looking for that tiny spark of conflict, of jealousy. But it wasn’t there. Much to his disappointment, his expression was strictly indifferent.

“You need to concentrate, come on” Shiro grabbed his shoulder comfortingly “Try to think of Red, connect with her”

But it wasn’t that easy.

Right then, all Lance could think about, was the feel of the controllers under his grip and the seat molding onto the shape of his back. He was so alert, so overly-conscious of his every moment and every cell of his skin that was in contact with the Black Lion. The Black Lion. He was in front of the Black Lion.

“Feel anything yet?” Pidge asked, inpatient.

“Shhh, let the Chosen One work at his pace” He retorted quickly, trying to fit his fingers into the pressure prints some previous pilot had left at the levers. Had Shiro grabbed onto them so tightly? Or had it been Keith?

“Come on dude, being in another universe is sort of freaky, you know?” Hunk clutched his arm too “The faster we get out of here, the better”

“I know, I know” Lance took a deep breath, fixing his posture a little and stretching his neck “Ok, here I go”

He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the levers and the seat and the thundering beat of his heart; all becoming a distraction, all keeping him away from his lion.

“Come on, concentrate” He ordered himself “Red, Red, Red, Red…”

“Can you feel it? Do you see her?”

“Uhm, eh…don’t worry, I just need some more time”

He ducked his head forwards, gritting his teeth and his grip on the controllers. He cleared his mind, trying to think of Red and only Red, his lion. Was it his lion, though? Was he really the Red paladin?

“You really can’t sense her? Is she that far away?”

Every single one of his muscles was rigid with effort, as if he were trying to find just from which fiber of his body did he have to clutch out an answer. He could feel his own hands beginning to tremble around the levers, and he wondered if everyone else could notice.

“Anything yet?”

“What do you see?”

“Lance?”

“Wait!” In no second, all eyes had fallen on Keith “I can feel her, I can feel Red!”

“Are you serious?? How is that??”

“That’s so cool, Keith!”

“Well done!”

As everyone suddenly gathered around the Red Paladin, asking him questions and making him lead their way, Lance’s hold became loose around the controllers.

He stood up in silence, leaving the pilot’s seat free for Keith to use.

“There! I see something!”

Pidge’s announcement had everyone standing up from their seats, heads up and eyes open wide in the desperate search for a view that wasn’t just another patch of empty space.

“Finally! Is it the Red Lion?”

“Let me see, let me see!”

The paladins all gathered in front of the window, noses stuck to the glass and eyes narrowed as they tried to shape that small spot in the distance into the Red Lion inside their minds. Everyone was cheering with anticipation, elbowing a pushing each other a little bit just to take a good look. Everyone, except for Keith; who was still sitting in the pilot’s seat with his head down and his eyes closed in concentration.

Lance gave up on his attempts to look over the huge mass of Hunk’s body, who was blocking him the view entirely, and his attention fell straight onto Keith instead. The ease of his features made his stomach revolt. Not the seat he was taking, not his hands fitting into the levers like they were carved onto them. No, it was the easiness with which he piloted what made him jealous the most. The guy was in the lead of Voltron’s biggest, central ship, which required a fair amount of focus and mutual comprehension with the lion; all while he tried to contact another lion lost in the vastness of space. And beneath all of that pressure and tension, he still managed to pull a straight face.

He was talented like that, his long-time rival could tell better than anyone else.

So as soon as he saw that small frown suddenly cracking between his brows, his lips slipping into a pout, Lance got the bad news earlier than everyone else.

“Uhm, guys, that is not the Red Lion” Hunk’s remark did nothing but assert his suspicions, and as he turned around to stare at the window once again, it wasn’t disappointment but sheer surprise what got his jaw to drop.

There was no red but shining, stainless white. There were no paws and claws but towers, long and vast and equipped with propellers. And he was pretty sure those glints of blue light weren’t feline eyes staring at them from the darkness; there were glowing columns, and windows, and huge alien mechanisms worth of a genius engineer.

No, that certainly wasn’t the Red Lion, but it certainly wasn’t an unknown ship either.

By the time Keith opened his eyes and joined the bewildered parade of reflections in the window, the so familiar Castle of Lions, their home for the last year, was clear and visible through the eternal night of space.

“No way” Hunk slapped his own face with both hands “We came back to the castle? Have we been flying in circles?”

“I swear we didn’t” Keith almost stammered “I feel Red, she was the one to take me here”

“Maybe she’s inside, she just messed with us and now brought us back”

“That’s impossible, there’s no way we went through the quintessence hole again without noticing” Pidge looked confused, as if she was starting to wonder maybe science had betrayed her “Unless…”

Four demanding pairs of eyes weren’t late to fall on her.

“Unless what?” Shiro had the audacity to ask.

“Unless this isn’t our castle”

Suddenly, the homely sound of the opening hatches showed them the way inside the ship with no hesitation, as trusting as ever, welcoming them aboard.

Maybe it was his natural impulsiveness, or the fact he insisted he had followed the Red Lion to that exact place, or perhaps it was the general familiarity of the castle and its lights and sounds; but Keith was immediately piloting them inside the castle with no hesitation.

“Stay alert” He said, as if he hadn’t been the one to just drive them right into known unknown territory. Or was it unknown known? Lance’s head was beginning to hurt.

“Is this...this universe’s version of our castle?” asked Hunk.

“Apparently, it is”

“Wait, so there are weird other versions of ourselves in here??” Lance gasped, holding onto Pidge and shaking her with zero mercy “That means there’s another princess Allura in here!? We have been blessed!”

“Shut up for once” Keith snapped “We don’t know how these people are going to act, they are not us ”

“Ow, come on! Why do you have to be such a fuddy-duddy all the time? I bet you are just afraid I’ll be so much cooler than you in this reality. Maybe you just clean the toilets here”

“You are a pain in the ass”

“You are an ass”

“Guys, stop” Shiro didn’t seem to be in the mood for more fights “Not now”

If Shiro’s warnings hadn’t been enough, then maybe the small thud of the Black Lion landing was what finally gifted the team some full seconds of quietness.

The interior of the castle was exactly the same as they knew, the same tunnels, the same lightening, the same odd Altean technology...same five lions standing proudly on their bases. They had to land at some of the extra spaces, since the Black Lion’s usual spot was already taken, and Lance couldn’t help but wonder how long would it take the passengers of this castle to realize there were two of them.

“IDENTIFY YOURSELVES!”

Well, not so long apparently.

“Is that…?” Hunk gasped as soon as he heard that voice through the speakers, somewhere between terrified and excited, as he seemed to recognize the accent way too well.

“Princess Allura” Shiro spoke firm and clear “I know this may some odd, but we are the paladins of Voltron, and…”

“That’s ridiculous! My paladins have been in the castle all day. Who are you and how did you get pass out security systems?”

They couldn’t see her, she was probably talking to them from the control room, but her voice was still as scary and intimidating as their Allura’s. So much, that none of the paladins dared to speak back at her. Only Shiro, though he seemed fairly disturbed as well.

“We flew right in!  Look, the castle recognized us. We are from a parallel universe, our Red Lion jumped through a quintessence hole and ended up right here, we just want it back”

The hum of nothing being spoken to the microphone let them knew the princess was debating the idea. And, for a second, they had hope.

“Activate castle’s defenses!”

Easy comes easy goes. And hope was fast to go as soon as the first laser guns started shooting from the walls.

“What do we do!? What do we do!?” Lance screamed, breaking out his shield.

Everyone looked at Shiro, waiting for a plan, wanting to know what the leader had to say.

“Run for your lives!”

The first one to react was Hunk, who immediately threw himself through one of the ventilation ducts and the rest of the team just followed him instinctively like a herd of stupid sheep. They knew the ship like the back of their hands already, but they weren’t exactly familiar with the ventilation tunnels. So all they did was scream and crawl even faster as soon as they heard the alarms going off. Which seemed to be an acceptable plan for a few seconds, until they came across a forked path and realized they had no idea of where they were heading.

“Oh no, which way!? Where are we!?”

“We are gonna die!”

“Hunk, you are not helping”

“Keep moving!” Keith left no time to oppositions, as he crawled his way to the front, not looking really worried about the destination “We don’t even know where we are going! It’s worse if we just let them find us!”

“Stay right here, mullet! We need to think of a plan!”

“Lance’s right, Keith!” Shiro said, trying to hold him back “We can’t just move around blindly”

But Keith was never the one to follow orders, nor to just sit and wait for the enemy to find him.

“No, bad mullet! Bad mullet!” Lance shouted above the alarms “Who do you think you are? Come back here!”

“Make me”

And that was is.

If the situation hadn’t been chaotic enough as it was, it certainly broke some sort of shameful record as soon as Lance got a hold of Keith’s armor and held him back violently, marking the beginning of an awful wrestling echange.

“Guys, stop!”

“Knock it off!”

Just to add to the ridiculousness of the overall situation, the quarrell seemed to suffer some kind of spider web effect, and every gentle hand who tried to stop the fight just got stuck and tangled into the ball of senseless fury. Shiro’s mechanical arm got trapped between someone’s legs, Lance had blindly gripped onto Hunk’s headband, and Pidge had instinctively stuck her nails in what she supposed was the bridge of Keith’s nose. Everyone was screaming they should stop, but no one was actually letting go of each other, afraid they would simply end up crushed or asphyxiated between the tangle of wild limbs.

The tunnel was too tight and unprepared to hold such amounts of fierceness, though. And before any of them could discern the sound of loosening screws, the hutch underneath  gave up and all five paladins fell in a cloud of debris.

Lance blinked several times, trying to push the weight of Hunk’s leg away from his face, and adjusting his vision to the sight of a very familiar ceiling. The impact made edges blurry and shook colors a little, but there was no way to mistake that room. He sat up, confident, with a ridiculous sense of homeliness keeping him calm and oblivious, taking in the view of the automatic doors and the semi-circle of benches. He smiled.

“Shiro, look!” He said, noticing the captain was the only one who had been able to sit as well “We are at the common room!”

But Shiro’s expression wasn’t one of delight but of sheer horror, as he stared wide-eyed at something right over Lance’s shoulder.

Only then, he heard the unmistakable beeping of a laser weapon.

He turned around to find himself nose to nose with the cold muzzle of a gun, but he couldn’t bring himself to be scared on the slightest. Blue stainless steel rifle, one inch of canon diameter, shooting speed of 2000 meters per second. He knew that fusil, he knew it way too well. As well as he knew the long, scrawny fingers curled around the trigger, and the little, clumsy gasp of shock that left the assaulter’s mouth.

Lance looked upwards, and blue eyes met brownish skin, met the shape of a long nose and pointy, stubbled chin; large ears, thin lips, and a scar cracking through the left eyebrow like a lightning.

Blue eyes met blue eyes.

No one got to speak a word as Lance McClain met Lance McClain. Older, taugher Lance McClain; grip loosening around his weapon and mouth falling agape as he mimicked the expression of his panicked target, and stared into his own shocked eyes.

After five eternal seconds of plain contemplation, it was the two of them, in unison, who broke the eternal silence:

“WHAT THE CHEESE !?”

Chapter Text

“Wait, wait wait wait wait...let me see if I got this straight…” Lance genuinely tried to stay calm, but it was sort of difficult when he was staring right into his own panicked eyes “You are me?”

The Other Lance jolted, persistent in imitating his reactions.

“Nope, no no no no! You are me !”

“Yup, he’s definitely me”

The slightly tougher look fooled no one. His expressive eyes, his quirks and manners, the way his voice pitched at the end of the sentences…it was unmistakable. That was Lance, and no scars or three-days-beard could conceal it.

“This is so, so freaky” Hunk squealed, inspecting the new version of his friend as if it were a showcase mannequin “Dude, you have stubble. I didn’t know you shave!”

“Of course I shave!” Lance protested. The other Lance, though, limited himself to wink.

“He looks fairly older” Pidge observed, taking a hand to her chin “Aren’t you 18? Or is this just a distant reality where Lance has normal levels of testosterone?”

“Hey!” Both Lance’s complained, but only the new one followed “I’m 23!”

The answer sounded like more questions to the green paladin.

“Wait, you are 23?? Does that mean this is a futuristic reality, where five solid earth years had gone by and we’ve been in space all along? Or did the events alter in such a way you’ve been here for as long as we were but your ages are sort of messed up? Did you defeat Zarkon? Is Matt doing alright? Do you still suck at video games?”

The Other Lance’s pride deflated, and so did his posture and his puffed-up chest.

“Woah, first of all, how dare you” He grimaced, crossing his arms childishly “Second of all, slow it down with the number of questions because handsome paladins in their twenties can get aneurysms too”

It is safe to say that every person, at some point in their lives, has asked themselves the everlasting question of how does it feel like to hang out with themselves. At least, Lance hoped he wasn’t the only one who thought about it constantly. While talking to other people, he couldn’t help but wonder how did he look from the outside. His smiles, his voice, his posture; he could control that, but he couldn’t control the overall product. His presence. Everybody occupied a place in the room and in other people’s minds, and he couldn’t quite tell what was his.

“Holy cow” He said, feeling uncomfortable in his own skin in a wicked way he never thought he’d have to experiment “I look so...so badass ”

He wasn’t quite sure of where to stand between pride and jealousy. Did his envy count as arrogance, somehow? His other self didn’t look half as conflicted though, and in no second he was wrapping his arm around his shoulder, smiling smugly.

“Of course, my dude. Lancey McClain, Voltron’s blue paladin and distinguishable sharpshooter at your service. The scars and the muscles? Oh, that’s just what five years of fighting evil purple aliens does. Tough job, I know. But it’s all worth it when you know you are saving the universe”

And then, of course, came the toothy smirk. Lance couldn’t see it from under the other’s hold, but he knew it was there.

“Oho! Nice!” He high-fived himself “Did you guys hear that??”

Judging by the way everyone’s gaze had dropped, he knew they had all heard the same.

Five years of fighting. Five years of space, of aliens, of wormholes and lions and distant planets. Five more years away from earth.

“Cut the crap, everybody. We don’t know if we can trust him” As always, it was Keith who was first to brandish his sword “Remember the evil Altean empire? I don’t care if it’s Lance, we never know if…”

He was interrupted by a loud snort.

“What??” He asked, somewhere between awkward and murderous, as the grownup Lance burst out laughing right in front of his face.

“Oh my god” He chortled, covering his mouth with both hands “The mullet!”

“Uh??”

“Your mullet! I almost forgot you used to have a mullet!” His chuckles echoed through the castle’s walls “Oh my, I won’t let our Keith live it down”

“Your Keith doesn’t have a muller anymore!?? What the hell!??”

“That’s it! I’m done with you two!”

Before Keith could make the situation even odder by punching the same person in two different faces, Shiro had to intervene.

“Lance!” The two faces turned around “ Older Lance....we need your help, it’s no time to fool around”

“Help?”

Shiro sighed, easing in sync with the conversation.

“Yes, you see...we come from a parallel universe, our Red Lion has…”

No one had the audacity to cut through one of the captain’s speeches. No one but, maybe, the sound of a door flying open. Everyone turned around, and chaos struck once again in the shape of a petite body in full paladin armor, jumping into the scene with a small, green bayard in hand.

“Pidge!?”

The arms that only a few seconds ago had been in full attack mode, grew limp with resignation as soon as she took in the scene.

“What the...two Lances?” She waited no more to turn on her heel “Excuse me while I throw myself overboard into the empty space”

“Uhm, that’s offensive ”

No one seemed to care which Lance had actually said that.

“What is happening here? Lance, what the hell is....” The green helmet turned to the matching uniform in the room “Is that a mini me??”

“Yo” Pidge waved.

“I can’t believe it! Where did they come from? Are they from the past?? Why don’t we remember traveling to the future some years ago? It doesn’t make sense! It’s like they jumped into another timeline! How did you do it? Did you use Geelier technology??”

Lance was about to comment on the fact he had no idea who the Geelier were, but the slightly taller and noisier green paladin decided that moment of confusion was the right time to take off her helmet. No one, not even Pidge, seemed to have been ready for the long, thick braid of brown hair falling over her shoulder.

“My hair…it’s back!”

“Back?” Younger Pidge took off her helmet as well, revealing her way shorter locks “Woah, I don’t remember ever having that look”

“What? Did you never cut it to…”

“Katie! Katie! Are you there?” The communicator in her armor screamed loud and clear “Where are you!? Are you alright!? Did you find the intruders!??”

“Hunk! Yeah, I’m good” She answered into the device in her forearm “We are in the common room. And don’t worry, the intruders mean no harm”

“Are you sure?”

Her eyes fell on the panicky version of Hunk in the room, about to fall into Shiro’s arms.

“Yeah, pretty sure”

Lance gave into the awkward silence, suddenly uncomfortable, feeling way too aware of his own existence. He never really understood what an out-of-body experience was; but the fact he was staring at a physical version of himself, alive and real and messing with Keith’s mullet, made the term sound sort of ambiguous.

“So there are future versions of all of us?” He asked, not really expecting an answer. But getting sort of bummed as he got bluntly ignored by the other Lance, who seemed to be too concentrated looking for something on the floor.

“I don’t know if I want to see myself, man” Hunk fanned his own face  “I think I’m gonna faint”

“No one’s going to faint” Shiro stated, using his softer, warmer hand to comfort his teammate “We are paladins of Voltron, we’ve faced crazier, scarier stuff”

As always, the leader’s voice was a bucket of cold water, cooling down everyone’s steaming engines and setting the ambiance for coherency.

“Shiro’s right” The new sense of calmness circulated around the room, spreading into Keith “We shouldn’t stay here for so long, we need to focus on finding Red”

“Red?” Asked older Pidge.

“Yes, we lost her” Shiro explained “We followed her here through a quintessence hole. But with your help and further experience on our side, we can work as a team and cooperate into-”

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FLYING FUCK ”  

The words bounced and resounded between the walls, awkward and surreal, like the wrong answer of an echo.

“Lance you motherfucker what the hell did you do !?”

Shiro had stopped talking, mouth agape and frozen middle-speech. But the voice kept coming out, foreign to his lips and his manners, loud and clear and undeniably angry.

Lance had to turn around and face the figure now standing at the door frame to convince himself the quintessence hadn’t messed up his brain.

“I leave you alone for one minute, one , and you find a way to fuck up the cosmos!?”

A new, rustier Shiro had walked into the room.

His scar was almost completely faint, his eyes seemed heavy in his tired lids, and his hair was a few centimeters longer than his neatness usually allowed.

“Shiro, chill. Believe it or not, this wasn’t Lance’s fault” the other Pidge jumped into his defense, since older Lance was still distracted with something he seemingly lost on the floor “They were the ones who traveled here, they fell through a space hole”

“What the…” the new Shiro had to stop himself right there, as he saw the look of horror plastered on his younger self’s face “Sorry, sorry” He sighed, stretching his good arm towards him “This is sort of unconventional but...we are team Voltron. Although I guess there’s no need for introductions”

Before they could properly shake hands, three other people ran into the room.

“There you are! I told you not to run so fast”

“Shut the fuck up Hunk!” Shiro felt the grip on his hand get ridiculously tighter “Sorry! Sorry again...I get a little carried away”

Lance was about to ask the obvious question everyone seemed to have at the tip of their tongues, but he decided to store it for later together with the previous fifty other doubts as soon as he saw the three new pairs of eyes staring at them in shock.

There was a larger, bearded Hunk. Princess Allura, who looked fairly the same. And another man, firm posture and slicked hair, who seemed really familiar but Lance couldn’t quite tell who…

“Oh quiznack!”

“Coran!??”

“Where’s your mustache!?”

No one seemed certain of how to react. Too many people were appearing way too fast and gave them way too little time to process the lunacy.

“Oh man, is that me??” Hunk 2.0 made a careful approach “Do I have such a baby face without a beard?”

“Do I have such a manly face with a beard??”

“Dude, you look like somewhere between a woodcutter and those wise old men at the back of our philosophy textbooks” Lance made his essential input.

“I was gonna go with ‘the most powerful wizard in town’, but you have a point”

“Paladins! What is going on!?”

No one really bothered to answer the princess’ confusion. They were all pretty puzzled themselves, trying to figure out how to deal with their flesh and bone alter egos. Pidge had already released a horde of questions to the only other brain in the room who could process them: her own.  Shiro and Keith were discussing the new black’s paladin much “wider” range of language. And the older Lance was now on all fours. still in the floor looking for something between the multitude of feet.

“Don’t tell me you lost it again” bearded Hunk told him “Man, you are screwed”

“I don’t know what happened! I had it two minutes ago! I swear!”

“If you say so…”

Lance wasn’t one to complain about noise, but quite a huge headache was beginning to build in his temples.

“Ok everyone!” Both Shiros voiced at the same time, eyeing each other comradely for the first time “Enough! We need to organize!”

Allura seemed insanely thankful for the intervention. Only now, looking at her more closely, Lance realized she had put on weight a little. He hoped many diplomatic peace banquets were to blame.

“Please, can someone care to explain what’s going on here?” She demanded, eyes running wildly around the room, apparently unsure of where to stand.

“Our Red Lion is gone” Keith explained, for what it must have been the third time already “It was sucked up by quintessence and we ended up here following it. I tried to use our connection to find her and it guided us here. Do you have any idea of where it may be?”

The princess seemed to be trying to think, but it was kind of hard with both green paladins ranting about technology and pairs of Lances and Hunks messing around.

“MAKE SOME FUCKING SILENCE”

Shiro didn’t know if he should feel embarrassed or thankful for his other self’s intervention. It did get everyone to shush, though.

“What’s wrong with him?” Younger Pidge asked into her double’s ear.

“We sent him to some weird space therapists because of his PTSD, and they told him to express his emotions freely to relieve tension”

“Thank you, Shiro” Allura smiled, turning to Keith once again “I’m sorry, I assume you must have followed our Red Lion’s trace. We have no idea of where yours could be”

“Am I the red paladin here?”

“Of course you are. And I assume by the color of your armor you are the red paladin back at your universe as well...am I wrong?”

Lance felt a load lifting from his hurt pride. If he never piloted the Red Lion here, then that explains why he hadn’t been able to contact it before.

“No, well, yeah...I am” Keith said. Logically, it would have been hard to explain the whole switching lions incident to an oblivious Allura.

There was an unspoken question lingering in the air. In fact, there were quite a lot. But as he saw his team’s eyes narrowing suspiciously and looking around, Lance knew he wasn’t the only one wondering about the folly’s only missing piece.

“GUYS! WHAT THE HELL THERE ARE TWO BLACK LIONS AT THE BASE” A voice screamed down the hall.

Nevermind.

“Another Black Lion appeared out of nowhere! I was looking for the intruders in the lion’s room and…!” The red paladin walked into the scene “...I guess you already know that”

“Keith!” A pair of each voice welcomed him to the mess.

Team Voltron 2.0 was finally complete.

The red helmet was removed to reveal fair skin, messy black hair tied in a small bun, and a pair of puzzled purple eyes.

“What the fuck”  

As the new Coran and Allura took the time to update their red paladin to the situation, Lance noticed his double hiding behind the benches, eyes glancing up warily every now and then, while his hands continued to pat the floor in the desperate search for god-knows- what .

Keith, his Keith, the one who still had the mullet, seemed to be more intrigued by whatever the man on the ground was doing rather than his own grown-up self. He arched a brow at younger Lance, as if he might have a clue on what the hell was happening.

All he got for an answer was an overly-acted shrug.

“So this is...me?” Suddenly, bun Keith turned to mullet Keith, and they shared a mirrored stoic look.

“Apparently” his gaze fell on the Blade of Marmora knife still attached to his armor “I have...some questions”

Bun Keith opened his mouth to speak, expression drowned in deep thought. Yet, before he could say a word, he noticed the guilty, clumsy figure crawling behind the benches.

“Lance? What are you…”

“He lost it again” the other Pidge said, smirking deviously.

“Again!?”

“It wasn’t my fault!” His pouty face peeped from behind his hiding spot “I swear, it vanished!”

“Things don’t just vanish , you dumbass! It’s your job to take care of it!”

“Take care of this!” older Lance flashed his middle finger, proving once again age is just a  number.

Hunk chuckled lowly, elbowing Shiro in the arm, making him break a smile through the thick apprehension on his face.

“Heh, look. Things might be a bit weird, but Keith and Lance won’t stop bickering here as well”

As his other self proceed to imitate his rival’s every complaint in a high-pitched voice, Lance’s eye caught a glimpse of a little something shining on the floor.

He squinted, trying to get a better look of what seemed to be some kind of screw, maybe, and ducking to grab it carefully between his fingers. It wasn’t a screw.

“There it is!” His double was plucking it out from his hands and waving it in the air before he could formulate a reaction.

Bun Keith exhaled with brute relief.

“Thank god” He jogged to his Lance, eyes never leaving the small piece of jewelry until it was safe and sound around the other’s finger “It was the third time this week, you dumbass! Take better care of it!”

And, with an obscene amount of naturalness, he kissed him firm and steady on the lips.

“I know, babe”

The scene was interrupted by a loud thud, and everyone jolted and turned to the source of the noise.

Shiro had fainted.

“ Engaged !??”

The couple nodded, showing off their matching rings for what could have been the third time in an hour.  

Lance rubbed at his own finger fretfully.

The Alteans had left to the cockpit, looking for any trace of the Red Lion they could follow, and letting the two groups of paladins to sort things out. So far, the phase of awkwardness had yet to be overcome. They were sitting in the common room’s benches, face to face with their future selves, trying to come to terms with the view.

Pidge and Hunk had made most of the talk from their side, since Shiro was still a bit dizzy from his pressure drop, and Keith and Lance seemed to be in another plane of existence. The tension in the air was breathable. While their adult doubles were sitting next to each other and holding hands in the middle of the row; both teens had their arms crossed and necks stuck looking apart from each other.

“How long have you been together, exactly?” Hunk was dealing the situation with a ridiculous level of ease Lance failed to understand.

“Engaged? Almost two months…”

“No, no. I mean, cuddling and all that jazz”

“Oh, we’ve been dating for about six, maybe seven years” bun Keith hummed unsurely, casually eyeing his fiancé as if it were his job to know.

“Six years and five months”

Lance’s stomach felt upset.

“But, hold on…” Hunk was fast to do the maths “That means our buddies should be dating by now!” He turned to Lance, derailing his train of thought “Dude, are you two like, making out behind our backs?”

“What?? No! Dude what the hell!” He snapped, making sure his eyes didn’t aim for anything that wasn’t his friend, or the same floor tile he had been staring at for the past hour “No way!”

“Things aren’t necessarily the same between our two realities, apparently” The older green paladin’s logic was fast to bring back some sort of sense, although that clearly hadn’t been her main objective. Her eyes were fixed in the big, round glasses resting on her double’s nose “Isn’t that right, Pidge ?”

Everyone stared in bemused silence as younger Pidge nodded; a sad, knowing grin hanging from her lips.

“I assume Matt never went to the Kerberos mission here” She said, resting her chin on her intertwined fingers.

“He didn’t”

Shiro blinked, eyes slowly regaining focus as he heard them talk.

“Matt...wasn’t there with us?” He tried to sit up properly, to incorporate himself into the conversation. But judging by the slight wince of pain he let out at the attempt, he must have hit his head quite badly during his blank-out.

“Stay still” Older, fouler Shiro proved he still kept his noble nature, taking care of everyone else “I’m going to bring you something to eat, that’ll make you feel better”

Lance couldn’t help but notice it had been the first time in quite a long while he had seen their leader taking care of himself.

As he disappeared into the kitchen, the group felt into another round of awkward silence. Yet, it didn’t feel like silence. Lance could swear he could listen to everyone’s thoughts buzzing around the room; fears, deductions and unfortunate conclusions, all orbiting around him and his restless heartbeat. He felt painfully vulnerable, overly-sensitive to every stare that cared to brush his skin. Shiro’s disappointment, Hunk’s distrust, Pidge’s scorning. Keith’s overall, general mood. He could physically feel the hatred emanating from him, like a stench he sucked it in with every breath, and it was making him dizzy. Even the older paladins made him feel uneasy, so mature and full of knowing he ignored. Ironically, the only judgment he felt safe to be under, was the one of the troublesome lovebirds.

He didn’t realize he had been staring at their tangled fingers all the while until he heard the sound of Pidge’s voice, and he turned his head to face her.

“In our universe, both Matt and dad went on the mission with Shiro. I used a boy disguise to get into the garrison unnoticed and find some information for myself, but I didn’t get to see Matt again until I joined Voltron”

“I assumed, yeah. With the whole Pidge nickname and the glasses” Katie smiled, nostalgic “Damn, we look just like him”

“We do”

For a moment, both genius minds were miles away. Galaxies and galaxies afar, at some resolute corner of Earth.

“And what about your father?” Shiro fetched them back.

“Oh, he did go to Kerberos. Matt did such a fuss at the garrison they expelled him, so it wouldn’t have been a great idea to use a disguise that made me look like him. I needed to be more subtle”

“Makes sense…” Pidge mumbled, almost to herself “Do you happen to... have any information, you know, about...dad?”

Sometimes, silence could be enough of an answer.

If there was something that could get Lance’s chest to ache even uglier than seeing a sulking Pidge, was seeing two of them in the same room.

“Ugh, this whole Back to the Future drama is so confusing!” He grunted loudly, hunting for attention “How am I supposed to know if someone’s talking to me or the other Lance? We need to find some code-names ASAP”

There was a common feedback of confused annoyance at the comment, the obvious discomfort after a mood-swing so brusque.

“What?”

Still, annoyance was better than gloom.

“You heard me. From now on, you are gonna adress adult Lance as Lance 2 ”

“Hey!” Lance 2 snapped “Why am I Lance 2? You came here second!”

“ Fine , I can be Alpha Lance and you are Beta Lance”

“ Excuse me ??”

It wasn’t joy exactly what eased the social cramp, but the general feeling of irritation they all seemed to be so used to. Ridiculousness was never a sore point, it was a trained, flexible muscle they knew how to work with. And, right then, it was the closest they had to comfort.

“Alright, knock it off” Shiro played his role “Our Lance can be Lance 1, and the other is Alpha Lance, how about that?”

Both Lances shared a look of agreement, not necessarily about the nicknames.

“And how do we call the others?” Pidge was foolish enough to ask him.

“Well, of course you two are Pidge and Katie, that’s easy” He stood up, turning to point at Shiro “You and your double are Dad and Step Dad. And let's not forget Hunk and Karl Marx”

Now, the sound of laughter was undismissable. What started with a little, shameful snort didn’t take long to spread like wildfire: swift and warm and mighty, burning down any trails anguish could have left behind.

“That’s not cool, man” future Hunk said, even as he smiled.

“And what about new Keith?” Pidge pointed at the older red paladin, and Lance almost grudges her for making him look into that general direction.

“Oh, he’s simply Keith”

“And our Keith??”

He smirked, goofiness heating its way back up onto his pale face.

“Mullet”

Another wave of laughter hit the group, subtle and refreshing, engulfing. Even Shiro cracked a smile, faint and overshadowed by formality and the others’ louder chuckles, but a smile, nevertheless.

The other Keith crossed his arms and looked away, but his Lance was quick to unlock his mirth by poking teasingly at his cheek, earning a genuine grin.

However, just when gaiety and calm were beginning to settle in, a rush of anger stood up from its secluded corner and cut through the newfound ease. Lance observed, smile wearing off in his lips as he saw Keith storming out of the room, fists clenched and mouth sealed, taking his breath away with him.

Silence was quite a contagious thing.

“Oh Keith, as moody as always” Joked bearded Hunk, trying to lift the spirits back into balance.

But Lance couldn’t really hear him, and apparently neither did his double. They shared a sorry, mirrored look; almost identical, if it wasn’t for the extra glint of knowledge in the older, wiser eyes.

“Uhm, anyways” Shiro cleared his throat “We have important things to discuss”

“We do” Pidge’s stare seemed unsure of where to stand, torn between the door, her double, and the conflicted pair of purple eyes still blinking in the room “Although our universes present some differences, I assume there may be some warnings or information about the future we could use”

“What do you need to know?”

The conversation went on, formal and significant and so foreign to Lance’s focus. He was there but he wasn’t, listening to deaf words like the dialogues of a movie he wasn’t really watching.

The other Lance seemed serious for once. Although he couldn’t bring himself to pay attention to his words, he was captured by the determination in the way he spoke, the firmness of his posture, and the every movement of his hand. His free hand. The one that wasn’t captured by the silver of that ring and Keith’s persistent hold.

Their universes were far more different than he originally thought.

“...so, basically, we need to ask the Geelier for help with upgrades, avoid landing on that yellow planet you mentioned, and Lance should stay away from orange flowers, got that”

The mention of his name summoned him back into the chatter.

“Orange flowers?”

“Weren’t you listening?”

His double’s abashment gave away all the data he needed: he had probably done something stupid.

“Oh yeah, of course” He lied “No orange flowers, copied”

It was hard to ignore the elephant in the room. To be honest, rather than an elephant, Lance felt like he was trying to ignore a stampede, a full well-packed zoo for all he knew. There were so many doubts, so many blank spaces and dots he couldn’t connect, and yet his mind could only seem to pry around the only question he knew the answer to.

He didn’t care about the elephant in the room, but about the only person who wasn’t in it.

“Is it really that terrible to be us?” Listening to Keith’s voice so suddenly had him jolting for a fragment of second “I mean, you act as if ending up like us was the single most horrible thing in the entire universe”

Alpha Lance nodded at his words, not as offended as his fiancé but rather disappointed, sharing Hunk’s and Katie’s silent pout. All of them seemed to have been thinking the same thing and, of course, Keith was always first to wield his sword and tongue.

“It’s not like that…” Pidge scratched the back of her neck.

“Of course not” The captain exhaled deeply, trying to speak for his team “We would never be embarrassed of what the future has to…”

They heard the faint sound of a spoon falling on the kitchen, followed by a contrasting guttural scream.

“FUCK ALL OF MY ANCESTORS”

Shiro massaged his temples, not even bothering in finishing his sentence.

“What we are trying to say…” Hunk took back for him “Is that we are not mad at you or anything, you guys are awesome! It’s just that…”

“We hoped we would be back on earth, by this time”

It was Lance who got to finish the concept.

There was a short period of silence, all young paladins nodding in mute agreement, minds invaded by the most brutal and merciless memories of home sweet home.

But the anguish wasn’t mutual.

“We did visit earth, though!”

Katie’s comment had four heads popping up with a single pull.

“What??”

“We got to visit earth! Two years ago!” She repeated, so naturally it triggered jealousy “We got to see all of our families!”

Hunk was the first to recover enough to react.

“Are you for real!?”

“It’s true” The older Shiro came back with a bowl of edible goop, handing it to the other robotic hand in the room “We didn’t stay long, but we all got our needed dose of home”

“Yeah! And the best part…” Lance saw his double fishing for something in his pocket “We are in contact with them!”

His heart dropped to his stomach, eyes widening at the sight of a very earthling phone, the time displayed on the screen not counted in Altean ticks; but in actual seconds.

“Is that…”

“It is! Only Katie here made some slight modifications” They exchanged finger guns “She installed an intergalactic satellite with Alkari technology, and now we can make phone calls whenever we want!”

Shiro’s Jaw dropped. Hunk swallowed a gasp. Pidge didn’t even react to the mention of Alkari engineering.

And Lance? Lance broke, eyes opened wide and emotion swelling in his throat as he saw him dealing a number.

“Would you like to talk to mom?”

Chapter Text

Lance’s pulse was buzzing.

He could feel it throbbing insistently, in his temples, his stomach and somewhere around his sternum. It felt uncomfortable, itchy and foreign inside his own body, as if his heart had been connected to a way too high voltage of emotion.

He wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready for his heartbeat to outfast itself into a new record.

He wasn’t ready to make that phone call.

“Just wait a moment”

His double just dealt the number naturally, placing the speaker on his ear and pacing around the room as he waited for an answer. No voice came from the other end of the line, but a lingering, constant beeping that sounded agonizingly slow against Lance’s accelerated organism. Rushed pulse, short breaths, shaking knees. His body was overloaded with some wicked energy he could only release by the frantic tapping of his feet.

Everyone was busy, everyone had a family to call. So as his friends all talked to their older selves into letting them contact their homes, he had to deal with himself alone.Which, considering his socially demanding nature, wasn’t really helpful. Most of the time he just rambled the stress away but right then, with no hand to squeeze or brain to short-circuit with his comments, he had no tailpipe for his crippling nerves.

“Hola?”

His chest sizzled, that voice striking him like a drop of cool water falling onto a red-hot pan.

“Ma! It’s me, how are you?” His other self talked casually, so easily, and Lance just wanted him to shut up.

“Mijo! What happened? Why are you calling at this hours?” The man detached the phone from his face for a second to check the time on the screen and flinched “Is everything alright??”

“Yes, ma! I’m sorry, I just…”

“You don’t need me to contact the garrison secretly again, don’t you?”

“No, no, that was just one time, I won’t…”

“Is Keith alright? Are you taking care of him?”

“Yes, of course! I…”

“Did you touch that  orange space flower again??”

“What? No!”

Some sort of chortle slipped through his lips. Not because it was funny, but because laugh was all he could manage; a mere biological reaction to the tickles of nostalgia.

“Mama” His other self cut their mother’s rambling off, and two pairs of blue, melancholic eyes met in the stuffed air “There's someone here who wants to talk to you”

After a brief explanation of the circumstances, through which all the feedback they got were numerous gasps and hums sounding loudly through the speaker, older Lance stretched his hand towards him; handing him the phone.

Lance stood up, pressing the device to his chest before he pressed it onto his ear, and with the debris of a voice he got to mutter out:

“Hello?”

“Lancey? Is that you?”

His lips trembled, words bouncing on his mouth like the lid of a steaming casserole.

“Yes, mama. It's me” He smiled “we...we are talking”

“Yes we are”

“Dios, I can't believe this, I thought I would never…”

“Shhh, It's ok mijo” Never, through all of the months he had spent in space, had he been able to picture his mother's face so clearly “I understand”

And yes, he knew she understood. He knew she had probably cried herself to sleep as well, that she’d been worried, that she would have given up everything to have a complete family at the dinner table again...five years ago.

The times of mourning a lost son must have been gloom, distant memories for that woman. Far, far away from a reality where he was just a phone call away. Now she probably was more confused than anything else, listening to this odd malfunction of the cosmos talking with her son’s voice.This wasn’t a long-time reunion for her.

For Lance thought, it was a whole other story.

“How are you? How’s dad, and Gina and Lucas and the twins? How’s...how’s everyone?”

“Sleeping” His mother joked, and he allowed himself to feel guilty for a second “Well, your older sister and brother don’t live here anymore, they moved out already. But the twins are soundly asleep in the room next door” .

“Wait...isn’t that my room?? You gave them to them??” He almost shrieked as he heard her chuckle “Mama!”

“Sorry! They got older and needed a bigger crib. I promise we didn’t touch anything without your permission, we waited till you came back to Earth to do the exchange. We didn’t even get in there before you reappeared”

The implication was heavy, hard to ignore.

“I see....”

“Also Tammy is staying over, so she sleeps at the twins’ room now”

“Tammy?”

“Oh…” She did a small pause, volume dropping, interference drowning the sound of her breath. Lance wasn’t ready “She’s Gina’s daughter”

He took a hand to his mouth, swallowing down a bittersweet gasp he couldn’t get past his throat.

“I’m an uncle?” He asked, his voice hanging from a thread.

“Yes you are! She’s four years old and absolutely beautiful. You’d love her, she looks just like our side of the family; our skin, freckles, eyes and all. Our genetics are strong, Kyle’s didn’t stand a chance!”

“So Kyle and Gina got married? I so saw it coming!” He laughed the most laborious laughter of his entire life “I can’t believe I wasn’t there to see it”

“We’ll have the video waiting for you at home, once it’s your turn to go back to earth”

He smiled, remembering how he and his brother used to stick their ears onto their sister’s door and tried to listen to her phone calls, only to know who this mysterious guy was. He would never forget the first time his bro-in-law came to visit, the awkwardness, his father and his siblings being so ridiculously petty. And now they were married.

“Can I...may I ask you a question, mama?” Mama. For each time he called her that way he felt smaller and smaller, fragile, almost childlike.

“Of course, corazón”

He shrunk his shoulders, the room suddenly too big.

“Did you miss me when I was lost?”

Silence. Both from the other end of the line and his own. Millions and millions of lightyears of distance connected by grave quietness.

He could notice his friends turning to stare at him, attention slipping away from their own business and falling right on his own. But for once, Lance had no intention of putting on a show. He wasn’t going to cry.

“Oh Lance, of course we did. You don’t have a clue; you have no idea of how much we searched, how many fights we got into, the number of letters we sent the garrison threatening to sue them if you didn’t come back, all the nights we spent…” She stopped herself. A strained weep had been heard through the line, and Lance couldn’t really tell who was to blame for it “We missed you, we missed you so much. And we didn’t stop looking for you till you came back”

He wanted to seize it. He wanted to get engulfed by his mother’s words, the praise, the love of a family he had only been able to dream about through the last few years. “We missed you”, It was all he had been craving to hear. And yet, as he listened to the time and the experience threaded in her voice, as he tried to suck some rejoice from her calmness; all he could think about was that “we missed you” was past tense.

And that somewhere across the galaxy, he was not missed, but missing.

“Hey, mama” Something that sort of sounded like a chuckle managed to raise up his throat “Could you do me a favor?”

“Anything”

He sighed, sitting against the door and pressing his knees to his chest. For once, in terms with feeling so absurdly small.

“Tell me something from when I was little”

“What?”

“You know, like, whenever I invited someone over and you always started remembering embarrassing shit about my childhood”

She laughed, genuinely, and Lance just closed his eyes and threw his head back. Listening.

“Oh, there are so many! I wouldn’t know which to pick, you were such a messy child! Always trying to imitate everything your older siblings did. In fact, there was one time…I don’t know how you didn’t end up in hospital that time around. You were about four years old, it was a Sunday afternoon, you were at a park with your siblings and your aunt...”

He listened like he listened to music. There was no input, no information or sake whatsoever he could extract from an anecdote he had probably heard about a hundred times before. He just listened for listening. For the sound of her voice, the mere enjoyment, the words he knew almost by heart.

“...Gina and Lucas were playing in the monkey-bars, and of course you were so intrigued and so stubborn you wanted to join. Your aunt Laura wasn’t paying attention, and so you followed them and tried to climb the bars. But your arms were so short you could barely reach the first one…”

He smiled, both for himself and the other Lance, staring at him from the other end of the room. He could see his friends chatting through their doubles’ phones now as well, all in different scales of excitement. It was better that way, he thought, they deserved that self indulgence. And Lance definitely didn’t deserve their attention.

“...and so there you were: arms too small to even touch the next bar, legs too short to reach the ground. You were just hanging there, with nowhere to move, desperately trying to stretch out and get a grip of anything” They both giggled “Gina said she saw you putting so much effort into stretching your right arm you almost dislocated your shoulder, and then you started swinging back and forth, back and forth, back and forth... trying to get some impulse...and you jumped forwards. You somehow managed to touch the bar, amazingly, your siblings were rather impressed. But you couldn’t get a proper grip on it, and you fell on your face”

Lance hugged his knees and snorted at the speaker.

“I remember how you insulted the living hell out of aunt Laura when we got home”

“My son came back with a bloody nose and half a front tooth! You were her responsibility!”

He knew, he had heard her say that a million times in the past. But it was ok.

After all, the past was all they truly shared right then.

“How is she doing, though?” He asked “I mean, aunt Laura”

“I haven’t seen her in a while, you know? She moved out to California as soon as you went missing, we kind of had our differences”

“Oh” That last comment seemed odd, unfitting, considering the monkey-bars incident had been just an exception. His mom and her sister had always gotten along just fine “Was it my fault?”

“No, of course not, dear! She just didn’t take the news too well, it was her decision”

“I see”

“Don’t be upset, tesoro”

“I am not”

“Lance, I’m your mother, I know you” She insisted “Don’t be so hard on yourself, you shouldn’t even worry so much about what happens here on earth. You are a hero, you have a much wider duty out there in space, and we are all proud of you”

Lance gulped down the knot in his throat, trying to delay what he knew was already inevitable.

“I know” He muttered through pursed, pouty lips.

“Just remember to drop by and have some tea with mamá every now and then, ok? As soon as you have the chance”

“Promise” his playful laugh ended up sounding more like a sob, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer “I’m sorry Ma, but I think I should get going, we have some searching to do”

“It’s ok, I’m sure you have plenty of stuff to do, as always” She said “I’ll go back to sleep”

“Goodbye, mama"

“Bye sweetheart, go save the universe"

He dropped the phone on his lap and stared forwards into nowhere. Lost, scanning the busy room, eyes jealous of what his ears had heard.

Ignoring the obvious concern on his double’s face, he stood up and gave him back his phone, lighting up a dim smile for him.

“Thanks" He said, turning towards the door “But I think I should go help Coran and Allura finding Red now”

“Wait!” It wasn't just the other Lance looking worried by then, many pairs of eyes were now staring at the scene from different corners of the room “How did it go, buddy? Are you ok?”

“Yeah, no problemo” He dodged the gentle hand aiming for his shoulder “It's all good"

Ignoring his double’s words, his friends’ glances, and the neverending echo of his mother’s voice bouncing in his skull; Lance rushed outside the room.

He left with a feeling of emptiness, of foul, as if his body was a formless mass and needed to be held. Life had never taught him to lick his own wounds. With such a large family and loving friends, he was used to always having someone to heal them for him. A shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, a voice in his ear telling him it was going to be ok . And although his teammates were there, although the room was filled with potential embraces and words of comfort, he didn’t want their help. He didn’t want to need their help. He didn’t want to prove once again that he wasn’t the cool, heroic sharpshooter. If they saw him mourning right then, he wouldn’t even deserve to be called the goofball. He was nothing but a damsel in distress.

He didn't realize just how tense he was until he let go, until the door was closed behind his back and his posture broke, his body forgetting its own shape. Dropped shoulders,flailing knees, feelings falling dry into his chest like alcohol in an empty stomach. Overwhelming, poisoning.  

It was instantaneous.

The second he found himself alone the white and empty hallway got blurry with tears, echoing Lance’s muffled sobs through the vastness of the castle.

He cried because of his mother, the real one, still scared and desperately looking for a lost son. He cried for his aunt, a now fallen branch from his longing family tree. He cried for the twins, growing up so close to such a mess; and for Lucas and Gina, already grown-up and way too aloof. And he cried for himself. For everything he was missing, for just how lonely he felt, for the wrecking fear of being forgotten.

By the moment he saw the figure standing round the corner, it was already too late. Like a marathonist mid-run, he couldn’t stop himself soon enough. Anguish had already gathered momentum, he had held in his sobs for so long that once he let go he cried by mere inertia, and it was physically impossible for him to cease so abruptly.

“Lance?” Keith wrapped his name in a question, distant and wary and so far from what Lance craved.

He looked confused, arms crossed in an almost defensive manner, staring at him without moving a single inch.

“Keith?”

Lance wasn’t one to weep in front of his sworn rival. Lance wasn’t one to give his enemies a peek into his weaknesses. Lance wasn’t a crybaby.

But right then, Lance wasn’t in his right mind either.

He allowed himself to feel relief, some sort of wicked alleviation from the other presence in the room. It was difficult for him to ask for help, to reach for Keith of all people. But somehow his loneliness had become stronger than pride, and even an obliged pat in the back seemed worth the effort of extending his hand.

However, as he let out some sort of victory chuckle, as he took the big jump and reached out for something to hold, he realized he had made the same mistake twice.

Just like that day at the park when he was a kid, vertigo took a bite of his stomach as his fingers closed around empty air. His only source of support was slipping away from his hands anew. Gravity didn’t show any mercy as he saw Keith turning around and walking away from him, indifferent, not even sparing a pitiful glance. Once again, he had reached for a bar that was way too far.

Once again, he was falling.

They ended up having to spend the night in there. The Red Lion was nowhere to be found. After hours and hours of searching and playing with the castle’s sensors, everyone got a bit way too tired and decided to call it a day. Alarms were set pretty early for the next morning, with the idea of setting off on a more in depth quest through the nearby space and planets. Allura had shared her fears about some aliens stealing the Red Lion, and everyone agreed it would be for the better if they started asking around.

But first they needed to rest. There had been way too many space holes and headaches for one single day.

The older Lance said he just happened to have his old pajamas to lend, which were conveniently the same pajamas Lance was currently using back at his own universe (only that with less holes, and definitely without that murky smell).

Everyone got to sleep at their other selves’ room, except for Lance and Keith, since apparently their doubles shared a room now. Which, of course, made the situation extremely uncomfortable.

They ended up having to share a room as well. Keith’s old space, no less. Lance infallibly made sure to let everyone know just how outraged he was by the situation. But it ended up being worthless since, in the end, Keith didn’t show up. He didn’t even step into the room anytime during the night. Lance could tell, since he hadn’t been able to sleep a wink.

Even though he didn’t want to share a room on the first place, he got kind of offended by the obvious rejection. As he laid in bed he couldn’t help but picturing Keith, trying to fall asleep on one of those narrow benches at the common room, considering a sore neck in the morning was a lighter consequence that having to sleep some feet away from Lance.

The next day, after he spent enough time in the bathroom to arrive fashionably late to the control room, everyone was already there.  

“Ok, we need to organize” Allura was apparently the same in every reality “Shiro and I have been doing some research, and apparently there aren’t any enemy planets around the area. This zone is Galra free, but that doesn’t mean we can let our guard down”

For the first time since their arrival to that wicked place, Lance didn’t feel related to the other Lance in the slightest. There he was, so full of energy, hair combed and skin glowing with rest and probably the effects of some facial cream. Their blue eyes barely looked any similar with those heavy bags under his own, and as he heard that peppy voice chirping Keith’s name and skipping around, he finally understood all those times in which Pidge complained about his morning persona.

“Exactly” Shiro took the word, and Lance didn’t miss the look of disapproval he threw at him when he saw him walking in late “We need to be ready to fight for the Red Lion, in case someone took it. So we are sending a team of three to look for it”

“Who would be going?”

As Keith spoke, making it difficult to keep ignoring his presence, Lance realized that he maybe did have a double in the room. Right then, the two of them were two peas in a pod. Two grumpy, slouching, sleep deprived peas in a pod.

“I can go” Katie butted in “Sounds like a good job for the new tracker I’m working on”

Shiro shook his head.

“I’m sorry but we need you and your technology here in the castle, trackers are more useful and cover a wider searching range from here. Besides, we already have three people in mind” he turned to the blue paladin once again, no scolding intentions this time “Our Lance and both Keiths”

“Woah, woah, woah. Hold your horses” before Lance had the chance to spill the beans, his double was already on it “Why them!?”

“Yeah! Why us!?” He echoed his complaints “Why do I get to be stuck with not one, but two Keiths in a spaceship!? That’s like, hell squared!”

“I mean my fiancé is going and I’m not ?? What the hell??”

“Outrageous!”

“SHUT YOUR GAY UP YOU TWO” older Shiro wasn’t patient enough “You would actually have a voice in this discussion if you had arrived early in the first place”

“We really have no time for any personal issues” Allura’s hands were already on the castle’s controllers, fingers playing with the holograms as she checked the coordinates “We chose you of all people because we wanted to send as few paladins as possible, and you three have all had a connection with the Red Lion at some point, am I right?”

Lance refused to nod, knowing he would be signing himself up in a silent agreement.

“It makes sense, man” the two Hunks seemed to have taken it upon themselves to pursue them into reason, and both blue paladins had now a sturdy hand patting their shoulders “Come on, don’t be childish”

Keith, their Keith, didn’t say a single word for nor against the matter. Not that he looked any thrilled about the idea, but he didn’t look especially infuriated either.

That made Lance’s blood boil.

Apparently, the red paladin was petty enough to give him the cold shoulder and refuse to share a room with him the previous night, but was suddenly so mature and composed when the rest of the team was around.

“We have no time to lose” Allura reminded them, clapping her hands to induce some action “Paladins, suit up!”

Lance left the room to find his armor, not before throwing a cold, sharp glance over his shoulder.

He arrived to the Lion’s room just in time. The art of getting late everywhere was a matter of experience and precision, and after years of practice he knew better than coming in belated two times in a row. Technically, he was the last one to arrive and get his hands to work. But he was still inside the range of time that wouldn’t pop up that vein in Shiro’s temple.

He wandered around, trying to see if he could be of help somewhere. The Hunks seemed to be taking care of the engines just fine, the Shiros were having a conversation he didn’t dare to interrupt, and he was pretty sure that if he tried to stick his nose within the Pidges’ technical stuff, he would be probably more confused than helpful.

He asked Allura and Coran if there was something he could do for them, and since the answer was a negative, he made himself useful by stepping aside.

Leaning against the wall for a bit, resting as much as he could before he was forced to get into the lion, he couldn’t help but eye curiously as his other self approached bun Keith. Only that bun Keith didn’t have his bun right then, his hair falling awkwardly against the neck of his armor.

“Take care, please” He couldn’t quite hear what they were saying, but he had always been good at reading lips “don’t do stupid shit”

He didn’t recognize the clothes his double had on, he had changed his pajamas but he wasn’t using his armor. However, it was hard to care about his outfit when he was wearing a much unknown expression as well. He thought he was much better at hiding his emotions, but that worried lovebird just wouldn't’ cease to prove him wrong.

“That’s my line” bun Keith made honor to his nickname by combing his own mane with his fingers, slowly fixing it into his usual hairdo “I don’t want to come back and find the castle on fire”

“I’m serious, stupid”

“It’s ok, Lance, I can take care of myself” as he was about to tie his hair, though, he realized he didn’t have a hair tie.

Older Lance took one from around his wrist and handed it to him, smirking knowingly.

“I know you can take care of yourself, but with another mini you on the ship? I don’t know, it sounds lethal to me”

Bun Keith grinned, a genuine grin, so rare and so wholesome it hurt. He tied the band around his hair and his arms around his fiancés waist, bumping their noses together.

“I think the real danger here is the mini you” he teased “At that age you were even more obnoxious”

Lance was on finding his way of shutting him up, but his older self beated him on the duty.

It should have been bad to see them kiss. Unpleasant, nasty even. But somehow it wasn’t, and that’s what made Lance uncomfortable of all things. Yes, it was weird, but it was even more weird to acknowledge the funny feeling in his stomach as anything but disgust. Jealousy. Lance was jealous.

And of course it had nothing to do with Keith, but with the primal need of being held and looked at in the way those men did. That was the kind of relationship he fantasized about when his mind wasn’t on the battlefield, when he wasn’t in space but in his space, alone with his own thoughts. He would have been lying if he said he didn’t want a boyfriend or girlfriend, but the whole Voltron deal only left time for daydreaming, and his daydreams looked just like that.

Yeah, it had nothing to do with Keith; but it had everything to do with his smile, his voice, the look of utter devotion in his eyes.

The oddest part was that they didn’t even act much different than themselves. Lance 2 was still a goofball, Keith 2 was still hot-headed, and they still teased each other to no end; only that they didn’t mean it.

Did Lance really mean it?

“I should get going” bun Keith sighed the goodbyes away, and detached himself from his fiancé with a ridiculous amount of effort “don’t fuck shit up”

“Don’t kill my mini me”

They both laughed, and the older red paladin completed his armor by putting on his helmet.

“I’ll be back soon”

With a final hug the couple broke apart and walked different ways, allowing Lance to meet face to face with the other figure standing at the other end of the room, staring at the scene with the same amount of conflict. Keith blinked, lazily, as if trying to wake for a dream; and catching Lance’s stare from across the room seemed to be the bucket of iced water that finally did the trick.

“Did you have any breakfast, buddy?” Hunk threw an arm around his shoulder “I swear to god, even their green goop has improved! We have hope!”

Lance snorted, untangling himself from his friend’s vice grip.

“I wish I actually had some time to have a proper meal, dude. I think that if I arrive any later to this mission Shiro will unleash his ultimate champion fury on me”

“Good luck with that, I hope that you don’t get hungry though...or killed”

“Thanks man, that’s really comforting”

He sighed, putting on his helmet, and watching as bun Keith’s Red Lion lowered its head and opened up for them. For a second, his mind considered the option of stealing their basically identical Red Lion and going back to their universe, but that was before morals and common sense kicked in. He was really tired.

As they were boarding the ship, attending some last minute preparations and goodbyes, Keith hurried his steps to stand by his side, walking in next to him.

“We should act maturely about this” He said, hiding his gaze within the helmet’s limited peripheral view.

“Really? Says the guy who was childish enough to completely vanish from our shared bedroom last night? No way, Jose”

“Could you try to cooperate for once? I’m trying to do what’s right”

Lance actually had quite an arsenal of arguments to shut his quiznack for good, but he kept his mouth narrow. Right then, it wasn’t a matter of verbiage but of silence. The winner would be the one strong enough to swallow his complaints dry, and held himself back for the sake of poise. If Keith could play the responsible adult, then he surely could too.

“Ok” was all he managed to say without sounding unnecessarily fussy “Just because our doubles are all lovey-dovey with each other it doesn’t have to make anything weird for us”

“That’s right”

As bun Keith got into the ship, he found them sitting at opposite corners of the cockpit.  

Chapter Text

Back on Earth, when he was a little kid, Lance’s family used to do many road trips. Almost every weekend they liked to go to the beach, even if the nearest coast was almost two hours away. His parents deserved a cake for their patience, since being locked inside a car with five little kids for that much time was surely a test for the nerves. Or, rather than patience, it was their creativity what kept them away from domestic violence.  

Through the years, they had come up with numerous games to play while driving. Including the classics like counting red cars vs. blue cars or I spy with my little eye, and his parents’ as under the sleeve: let’s see who can stay quiet the longest. Lance was really bad at that game.

His favorite, though, was a made-up silly competition they played every time, in which each of the kids had to pick a toy and leave it sitting on the space between the wheel and the windshield. The last one to fall from its place when the car moved, won. It was a pretty intense deal, and they took it way too seriously. Lance’s toy spiderman was a good competitor, but not as good as Gina’s barbie. Sometimes, their father would get so into it that he would make the car take some unnecessary sharp turns to get the dolls to fall. Which, of course, didn’t really amuse their mother.

The trip was part of the adventure, the kids looked forward to get into the car every Saturday morning. They genuinely enjoyed it. The car was a confined space for family and laughter, silly songs and ocasional stops at McDonald's drive-through.

Trips in open space were nothing alike.

There was no radio to sing along, no blue cars or red cars to count, and his little eye couldn’t spy anything but ugly rocks and asteroids. It sounded ridiculous, Lance knew. If he happened to jump through another weird quintessence hole and somehow meet his five-year-old self, he wouldn’t believe him if he told him he had gotten tired of space.

But as he stared through the window right then, without the hum of kids chattering in the background and no big yellow “M” to spot in the distance, he couldn’t help but feeling sickeningly nostalgic .

“I’m so bored”

Of course he couldn’t use that word with his current trip mates, so he distorted it up a little.

“We know” bun Keith answered swiftly, never taking his eyes off his piloting “You said it three times in the last fifteen minutes already”

“And I mean it!” He threw his hands in the air. With one Keith at the wheel and the other one moping in the corner, he had to liven up the room on the extent of three people “Seriously, are you always so quiet? How did my other self teach you to talk? Come on, repeat after me: Hola, hola !”

“I’m not a parrot, Lance”

“It would be funnier if you were”

“You don’t need me to be a parrot to actually have a conversation” He smirked “I mean, with how noisy you are, you could probably get a piece of asteroid to talk back to you”

The chortle raising up his own chest took him by surprise.

“And that piece of asteroid would be more than lucky to befriend me, thank you very much”

“Befriend you? Be careful with it, we can’t afford another PTSD therapist”

“Uhm, rude !”

Bun Keith was smiling to himself as well, giggling even. His hands were tight on the lion’s controllers but his posture was lax, relaxed and comfortable as he talked. Lance was mesmerized. He almost didn’t recognize those eyes if they weren’t frowning.

“So...what do you suggest?”

The question caught him off-ward.

“What?”’

“You said you were bored, what do you say we do about it?”

He blinked, answerless for once.

“Uhm...I don’t know. To be honest I didn’t think I would get this far”

“Well, I do have a suggestion” his voice sounded playful, mischievous, a ring Lance was sure he had heard some few occasions before.

“Oho? What do you have in mind?”

“How about a muzzling tournament?”

The offense wasn’t late to kick in.

“Hey! That was uncalled for!”

Again, bun Keith simply smiled. And much to his own amusement, Lance did too.

There was something different about his mockery. It still had the same wicked, sassy style, that finger-in-the-sore kind of tease they had always played ad nauseam. But there was something about the tone, the humor, the overall mood; that was nothing like their usual quarrels.

For once, Lance was actually enjoying the exchange.

And it wasn’t like he didn’t enjoy getting under his Keith’s skin whenever he had the chance, but it was another label of joy. He felt comfortable, at ease even. The rush of competitiveness and the need to outsmart him being just a funny tickle in his stomach.

“Jokes aside, there actually is something I want to try” skilled fingers shifted between the holograms  “The first planet we need to check is half an hour away...or five minutes with the new propellers Katie and Hunk built for me”   

Lance saw himself gaping through the windshield’s reflection.

“Are you for real?”

“It’ll be much quicker.I don’t want to wander space forever, my Lance will have a fit if I’m not there by bedtime”

He decided to ignore that last comment, turning to look at mullet Keith instead.

“Ha! Did you hear that, Keith? Your other self is actually so much cooler than you! Why can’t you be like him?”

To that, the younger red paladin just shrugged. He rested his helmeted temple against the window, staring into the passing stars with obvious disinterest. Lance wanted to feel annoyed, he wanted to grab that petty head by the mullet and force him to look at him when he talked, to react, to do something . Maybe, he wanted him to smile the way bun Keith did.

As he turned to look at the pilot, however, he got no rest from that frown. Bun Keith’s vivid expression had dropped to match his other self’s pout as he saw him sitting there in the corner, playing with his knife as if he could cut himself out from the scene.

And that’s when it hit Lance.

He couldn’t just go and ask mullet Keith to be just like bun Keith. Because bun Keith wasn’t supposed to be his role model, he wasn’t his cool big brother that was just more likeable and charming. He was the same actual person. The smiles, the jokes and disbelief might have fooled him, but bun Keith was just his Keith, either he wanted or not.

He usually didn’t believe in those sci-fi theories, but he couldn’t help but wonder what butterfly had fluttered its wings for things to take such a sharp turn in that reality.

What made them act so opposite, if they were so similar?

“Well...ready to travel so fast your eyes will go dry?” Bun Keith was back, and so was the devious smirk on his face “Or are you a chicken?”

Lance couldn’t get it, they were exactly the same.

Bun Keith looked simply happier.

When Lance first saw planet Yogr Z, he thought it was an ugly stain someone had forgotten to wipe from the cockpit window. It was just so small , almost invisible between the nebula if it weren’t for that murky color green. He didn’t know if the turbo speed had messed up his brain a little, or if it really did look like an oversized lost pea in the middle of space.

Of course he said all of these remarks out loud, and made sure both Keiths new exactly just how pathetic he thought Yogr Z could be.

Only that, once he was forced to get off the ship and actually step on it, he immediately regretted his underestimation.

Yogr Z might have been a tiny piece of nuisance in the middle of nowhere. But Yogr Z also happened to have the most horrendous surface Lance had ever stepped on.

To begin with, the atmosphere was so foggy and dense they couldn’t even scan it from their ship, and they were forced to land and check it by foot. And the smell, hell did it smell . The air stunk like sulfur and it burned on its way through the nose. Lance couldn’t remember ever holding his breath for so long.

The greatest issue though, was its ground. What from the distance seemed like tupid foliage ended up being nothing but a gooey, thick layer of some weird green quicksand it was almost impossible to walk through; let alone landing a spaceship. So while bun Keith continued to orbit around, the younger duo had to actually stick their feet into that revolting soil that looked like someone barfed Altean breakfast.

“This, is the worst planet we’ve seen so far” Lance felt the need to emphasize his hatred, as his foot got stuck yet again in the intransitable slime “What is this thing even? is the whole planet made of this? Or did a giant space creature sneeze on it?”

Keith turned around, eyes rolling as he saw his teammate trying to unstick his boot from that sticky substance yet again.

“Complaining won’t make it any less terrible, you know?” He said, unamused, yet made himself useful by trying to help Lance out of his trap.

“Complaining helps fill the silence”

The air was so dense, so crushing and laborious it was hard to speak. They were so tired by the mere effort of breathing and fighting the ground with every step that they ended up using the communication devices in their helmets, instead of screaming at each other through the fog.

“I happen to like that silence” Grabbing the blue paladin by the armpits and pulling, the soil finally released the grip on his feet with a loud, gross plop.

Lance almost lost his balance, flailing his arms a little until he stood as stable as a man possibly could in such an unstable surface.

He would have thanked his savior for helping him out, but that had been the fourth time that happened since they landed on that stupid planet. And complimenting Keith just didn’t happen to be his favorite thing to do.

“How long do we even have to stay here?” He whined, cleaning the green drops that had jumped onto his armor.

“Well, if you actually listened to anything me or the other me say, you would know Yogr Z’s area can be fully checked in a bit less than two hours”

“Two hours?? That’s like, two times what he have already walked!”

“We’ve been here for fifteen minutes, Lance”

There were no buildings, mountains or figures of any kind for Lance’s groan to echo through the distance, but it somehow did anyways.

“Ugh, just bury me here already and let me die. This place is disgusting”

Keith sighed, not even turning to spare an annoyed glance.

“Not as disgusting as Earth though”

It was supposed to be a mutter, Lance could tell, sort of like talking to himself. He hadn’t meant to be heard, and he certainly hadn't meant to get an answer.

But Lance had definitely heard him, and of course he had a lot to say about it.

“Uhm, excuse me? Earth is great??” He skipped through the goo so that he was standing next to the offender “Don’t tell me you are wishing to live up to your Galra heritage”

“What? no!” Keith huffed “I’m just saying, Earth isn’t all that good”

Lance gasped, taking those words to heart as a personal affront.

“What do you mean it isn’t all that good!? We have so many amazing landscapes and everything! Beaches, jungles, freaking volcanoes! Dude, what could possibly be bad enough to play that down??”

“I dunno, mosquitoes were annoying”

Lance had to physically stop moving, his whole body devoted to staring at him in disbelief.

“Mosquitoes?” He repeated, voice pitching with exasperation “You are willing to ignore your own home planet’s beauty for mosquitoes !?”

Keith kept walking, grunting to himself, way too busy trying not to get stuck in the mud.

“I mean, there’s mosquitoes, moths, rats, insufferable people …”

Lance didn’t miss the addressing side-glance at the end of the sentence, but he chose to ignore it in favor of his rambling.

“Did you even live on earth? I would give anything to skate at the park with my friends, or light a bonfire on the beach, or celebrate christmas! And rain! I hella miss rain!” He grabbed his own head, trying to tame the memories “Walking home on a rainy day, listening to music and splashing on the puddles, knowing I would come home to a worrying mother and a warm plate of food? Man, Earth was paradise”

For once, Keith broke his focused march and turned his head to look at him. It didn’t last long, just a quick glance and he was back on his steady track. But Lance was able to grasp it, to see those wide, baffled eyes staring blankly, foreign to such levels of passion.

“You sound like a tourist agent” He said.

“Damn yeah I do! If there’s one thing I regret about choosing to explore outer space, is I didn’t explore my own home first”

There was a brief moment of quietness Lance’s impatience insisted on making seem longer. It wasn’t exactly silence, considering the howling wind, his own ragged breath within inside helmet and the disgusting plopping of their feet on the gooey mud. But Yogr Z’s unpleasant noises weren’t what Lance was expecting to hear. They weren’t enough to fill in for their lack of interaction, nor to answer the arsenal of questions he had stored through the chatter.

“What places do you want to visit?” Keith must have felt the foul too since, surprisingly, it was him who shook the conversation awake.

“Right now, anywhere on Earth sound just fine” Lance wrapped his complaints in a joke, almost tripping into yet another wobbling patch of goo “But if I really could choose a destination...I don’t know, I always wanted to explore more of South America”

“Didn’t you live in Cuba?”

“Yeah, but I want to see more . Some years ago, my brother and his friends went backpacking to the south and they took the sickest photos ever, I swear. I know it sounds stupid to say I want to visit Machu Picchu when I’ve literally spent the last two years at the other side of the milky way, but you get the point” He heard Keith hum in agreement “What about you?”

For a few seconds, he couldn’t perceive breathing at the other side of the line.

“Me?”

Lance made a show of arching his left brow, but he didn’t think it was really visible through the fog.

“No, Zarkon”

Keith huffed, smiling. Not quite a laugh but almost there.

“I don’t know what to tell you, I didn’t really do much while I was there”

“What do you mean you didn’t do much!? Dude, you were one of the top pilots at the garrison! Don’t you miss being the teacher’s pet, at least?”

“The teacher’s pet?” Keith snorted “Lance, I was kicked out”

“That’s even more impressive! You got yourself the role of the badass, genius pilot drop-out!”

“Yeah, only to spend the next bunch of months all alone in the middle of the fucking desert”

Alone in the middle of the fucking desert!

Lance could perfectly recall one of his classmates at the garrison saying those exact same words. He remembered waking up one morning to an email from the headquarters, congratulating him for ascending to a fighting-class pilot; joy bubbling in his stomach and pride dripping from his mouth as he told Hunk on their way to training, only to be slapped out from his haughtiness when he heard the rumors.

Alone in the middle of the fucking desert. That’s where Keith Kogane, the best pilot in their class and Lance’s biggest challenge, was currently hiding at.

Of course those were just gossips. Of course there was no reason to believe it was actually true. Yet, as he got over the disappointment, he found it way too easy to just swallow it factly. It wasn’t hard to imagine, it fit. The too-good-for-you outcast, angry and resentful towards the institution that betrayed him, now aloof and fighting solo in a distant shack.

And even though he used the same words, even though it was supposed to endorse the picture Lance had already painted in his head, the way in which Keith said it suddenly made it different. He stared at him and blinked several times, trying to readjust his thoughts, but the change was obvious and stubborn to remain.

Alone, in the middle of the fucking desert.

“Oh, well yeah, but…” He cleared his throat, looking away “There must have been something nice about it, right? What did you do while you were there? I mean, besides searching around the wilderness trying to find the Blue Lion and mothman”

“What the hell is mothman?”

“What the hell do you mean what the hell is mothman!?” Screaming had him inhaling way too much of that planet’s sulfurous air “Dude!”

“I don’t know what you are talking about”

“Mothman! The moth but a man!”

“Is it a superhero or something?”

Lance face-palmed his helmet.

“Uhm, no?? It’s like, a monster some weirdos think they see when they’re high or something”

Keith’s face twisted into scorn, not quite offended but rather suspicious.

“And why would I have anything to do with that?”

“I don’t know, you have a mothman vive” Lance shrugged it off, wanting him to let the topic go already “Nevermind, it was just a joke”

“So is it like, a boogeyman kind of thing?”

He didn’t seem to want to let go.

“More like a bigfoot kind of thing”

“Does it turn into a moth with every full moon, or is it a permanent deal?”

Lance felt like his leg was being pulled, and not from the sticky soil.

“Are you messing with me? Or did I really just introduce you to a new hobby?”

“I’m serious”

He didn’t sound serious.

“I don’t know, man. It’s kind of like a moth humanoid, tall and ugly!”

“Oh, so like you?”

A gasp broke through the communicators, long and high to the point of painful.

“ Excuse me ??” It sounded more like a squeak than a voice “Have I just been compared to mothman ?”

Keith walked faster and away from him, hiding his obvious smirk by facing forwards.

“Maybe”

“Why the fuck though!?”

“I can joke too”

“Could have fooled me!”

Lance’s feet quickened their pace as well, almost unconsciously, not wanting to be left behind. He didn’t know if it was the exhaustion or if the surface was really getting even softer, but walking kept becoming harder and harder with every step.

Keith moved steadily in front of him, the red feet of his armor disappearing into the green goop with every heavy step. He looked funny from behind, with his knees bent awkwardly and his arms flailing to grip on some balance, almost as if he were trying to ride a mechanical bull. Lance felt like it was his duty to comment on it but, to be honest, he was the one holding the record of getting stuck in the mud so far.

He could feel himself smiling. Which was unexpected, considering he was stuck at a fastidious planet with a fastidious person and his mood was supposed to act up accordingly. No matter how hard he tried to think of a more suiting adjective for the conversation, his pride and his fondness had come to terms by considering it pleasant . And once it had died out, once the chattering has ceased and they found themselves in the noisy silence of that sloppy atmosphere, he had to make an effort not to fuel it back to life.

“I kind of miss music”

But Keith kept jumping back in. Looking away from him, walking a few meters forwards and overall acting like talking to him was just another part of the mission, yet fanning the flames nevertheless.

“Music?”

“Yeah”

Lance could hear softness in his voice, unknown softness he could only imagine as a smile on his face. He walked faster, trying to get a glimpse and tease him.

“I’m going to bet all my chips and say you were a hardcore punk/emo fan”

As he was about to reach him, however, Keith sped up again, dodging his teasing glances.

“Against popular belief: no, I didn’t go through that phase”

“Really? No MCR? Panic?” He shook his head “Don’t tell me you were a Simple Plan kid”

“Neither”

“I’ll have to go with David Bowie then”

Lance’s long legs were finally good for something, and stretching his steps a bit he managed to get a glimpse of Keith’s thrown back character. He seemed pouty, almost offended, because how dare someone make him feel surprised?

“Actually, yes. How did you know?”

“Don’t act all funny on me, Keith, you can’t fool me. I always knew the Mullets Illuminati was a thing”

Lance had never felt prouder of making someone chuckle.

“What the fuck, Lance?” His voice was different when he was laughing, so were his eyes, so were the twists and turns in Lance’s gut “I like rock music in general, nothing to do with the mullet”

Maybe, being the goofball wasn’t all that bad.

“Oh, so a rock n’ roller? Should have seen it coming” He said “My taste is sort of weird, my playlists are quite a ride”

“I would have betted my soul to the devil you were all about, I don’t know, modern angry women screaming about their exes”

He couldn’t help it. Making Keith laugh had been a victory, one proud point he had scored over his rival. But easy comes easy goes, and next minute they were equal again as he threw back his head in laughter.

“I think you are being way too specific, how many artists even fit into that category?”

“You’d be surprised”

Lance bumped his shoulder against his, the metal of their armors clinking loud and sharp through the softer noises of Yogr Z. He took the chance to walk ahead of him a little, even if the soil’s consistency was against the idea. But Keith’s determined nature had him moving with the drive of a plow, and Lance wanted to blame the planet’s dizzying fumes for imagining he seemed to be picking up speed whenever he picked his own.

“What happens? You tired?”

Of course it hadn’t been the fumes.

“Nope!” with three purposely long strides he was suddenly standing some few feet away “Why? Are you?”

Between the ragged, exhausted breaths coming through the speakers, there was a rabid, coarse “No!!”

And that was it.

Lance sprinted forwards, Keith followed hot on his heels, and in no second the Red Lion was long forgotten and they were racing around an unknown planet.

“Come on, mullet boy! Speed up!” Sweat was rolling down his temples, and the acid air of that awful atmosphere wasn’t really meant to be breathed in heavy puffs; but Lance was already high on the challenge, and he wasn’t going to back down “We are never going to finish this hell of a mission if you don’t hurry, it’s all your fault”

“My fault!?” Never had he heard the red paladin’s voice get so pitched “It’s you who gets stuck in the mud all the damn-!”

Lance didn’t know which of all the planets in the entire cosmos had aligned for Keith to stick his foot into a remarkably soft portion of goo right then, but next thing he knew the guy’s frown was stuck in the mud and Lance was laughing his soul off.

“Oh my god” His mouth tasted like sulfur and musty clay as he gasped for air, but he couldn’t stop himself “Why don’t this stupid mecha suits come with an integrated camera??”

“Fuck you” Keith spit some of the green mud, lapping the air as he tried to rinse the taste off his tongue.

“Need any help?” Oh was Lance enjoying himself right then.

“Of course not” Keith managed to get back his balance, resting some weight on his arms. But as soon as he tried to get back on his feet and his pride, he realized the smelly quicksand had no preference for feet, and had started to swallow his hands as well. Lance was wheezing  “Stop laughing, dumbass! It’s not funny!”

“Come here, stupid”

He ducked in front of him, carefully as not to get stuck as well, and tried to pull Keith’s arm away from the ground’s insistent grip.

“I’m going to kill you”

“Hey! I’m helping you! These kids nowadays with their bad manners…”

“Ouch! You are hurting me!”

“I’m trying my best!”

“You are not trying hard enough!”

With his buttons pushed to the very end, Lance yanked Keith’s arm with the force only his defiance could provide and the soil let go with a noisy pop. But inertia was a funny, vengeful force, and before he could even brag he was falling on his butt, pulling Keith forwards with him as well.

This time they didn’t take turns to react. With an almost choreographic symmetry, they both blinked once, twice, and fell into a fit of laughter that did nothing but sink them even further into the goo.

Lance couldn’t breathe. Each time he tried to stop his eyes fell on Keith, on the wrinkles at the corner of his shut eyes and his mouth hanging impossibly open, and he was back at it again, chortling like a child. His stomach hurt, his body was wrecked with exhaustion and his limbs heavy with clinging rests of mud; but his chest felt so light, almost weightless. Almost floating.

“I’m going to kill you” Keith’s threats had never sounded so theatrical, so foreign to the look in his eyes

“Too late I’ve been dead for years”

“Fuck off” He said, even if it was him who had to fuck off.

It was him who had his knees at each side of Lance’s legs. It was him who was leaning forwards, hands stuck in the ground once again. And it was him who wouldn’t stop staring so intensely, eyes bright within the fog, shining with a rare purple hue Lance had failed to notice before.

“You have some crap on your face” He rusted his abashment into scoffing, chuckling lowly “Here, let me…”

This time, Keith didn’t deny his help. He stayed still, watching numbly as Lance pressed his thumbs onto the high of his cheekbones, swiping the dirt away. He did it purposely slow, purposely soft, purposely creating the atmosphere for something more than just a kids’ game.

Keith’s adam’s apple bobbed, and Lance eyes followed its every movement.

He knew what he was doing. He knew hearts didn’t speed without a reason, that Keith’s skin felt warm beneath his touch and that it wasn’t just Yogr Z’s air that was making his head spin. He knew he was leaning forwards, closer than shame allowed, pleasier than pride should permit. He knew what he wanted and, for once, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Keith’s face seemed to be going through passive panic, relaxed and easy, wrapped neatly around some turbulent thoughts. His eyes gave him away, or perhaps not. It was impossible to be sure, when he was so close all his features were blending into one, getting in and out of focus, losing every one of their properties. Maybe it was the powerful eye of a sharpshooter, maybe wishful thinking, but Lance swore he could see right through him.

Because for the first time in every time, he didn’t feel like that cargo pilot who got way too lucky. He had nothing to prove, no one to impress. In that moment, with no need for challenges or jokes, Keith and he were equal. They were breathing the same air, dealing with the same messed-up voices in their heads; and if his gut was right and Keith was really feeling the same way he did right then, then Lance felt bloody powerful.

But what power was swiftly detached, unrooted like bad weed and thrown away as Keith suddenly stood up, wiping off the mud and Lance’s wonder from himself.

“Come on, we can’t keep fooling around all day” He said, voice cold against the planet’s mist “We need to find the Red Lion”

If only Lance could move.

The first thing Lance did as soon as they were back at the castle was taking a shower. A long, long shower. Back on Earth, whenever he felt like he needed to decompress he filled himself a bathtub and stayed in there for a couple of hours. But, unfortunately, Altean showers didn’t have that function. So he simply stood under the falling water, letting it run down his spine, temperature cold enough to actually feel something .

The trip back was the most silent Lance had been in his entire life. The exploration of Yogr Z felt nothing like a mission, but more of like one of those dreams one remembers by bits, vague and jumbled and somewhat surreal. Once he was back aboard with bun Keith, he simply sat at his corner of the cockpit and stared quietly through the window. It wasn’t even theatrical muteness, it wasn’t a petty attempt of arousing suspicion, attention or pity. Lance’s genuine silence was unsettling and unnatural, like a tree giving out the wrong fruit, rotten from the core. But it was real. And not even Katie’s propellers and the speed of sound could make the trip seem shorter.

As soon as they landed back inside he left a trail of armor parts on his way to the bathroom and disappeared for about an hour. The water brought back that planet’s acid stink, Lance could smell it coming from his hair and merging with the mist, intruding. He wanted it off. Cupping soap into his hands he washed it all throughout his body, his arms, his chest, his calves. He scrubbed and scrubbed, thoroughly, nails getting involved and scratching as the stench didn’t seem to go away. The more he cleaned, the dirtier he felt. The water did little to help as he rubbed at every corner of his skin and hair, as he filled in his mouth and spat, trying to get that taste away. It was disgusting. He could see the drain sucking away the rests of green, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t rinse the purple.

When the time came to have dinner the last thing he wanted to see was goop. Or, at least, that’s what he thought until he got into the kitchen.

Lance ignored him, sitting at the opposite end of the table, right next to his Hunk. He let his friend hand him a bowl and reached out to grab the serving pipe to pretend he felt like eating. He was hungry, actually, the mission had him starving. But as he stared down at the dish he felt like food had never seemed so unappealing, and he ended up playing with it rather than eating for a while.

Sitting diagonally to him, there were his double and bun Keith, arguing over what looked like a book they were fighting to get a grip on. Despite everyone’s complaints, Lance found himself absently immersed in their little quarrel. He didn’t really know what it was about, he didn’t feel like asking. But the familiarity of bickering voices kept him at ease. And seeing at least one pair of dark frowny eyes in the room made it easier to avoid the ones he was actually trying to ignore.

“I’m telling you, blue goes better with golden! It has to be blue!”

“No it doesn’t!” an angry finger pressed onto the color sample-book, pointing at a deep shade of red “carmine would look just as good, if not better!”

“No, no, no, no, no, nope!” older Lance flipped through the colorful pages “This one, royal blue! It’s fancy as fuck!”

“We don’t need the napkins to be fancy , Lance! We need them to match with the golden decorations, blue will just make it look dull!”

“You are dull!”

Everyone else stared at the scene with mild irritation, but continued eating nonetheless. Only the green paladins offered some sort of reaction, Pidge mocking older Lance by mutely copying him as Katie laughed onto her hand.

“Uh, guys, not to be rude or anything but...” Lance turned to the sound of Hunk’s voice, but saw him munching instead of talking. Only then he realized it was the bearded version talking “Isn’t it like, too soon to start arguing over the wedding already? I mean, we are still year lights away from Earth”

Bun Keith groaned.

“We don’t know how much time we’ll have next time we visit. We need to make sure we have everything ready to get it done quickly, unless we don’t want to invite the Galra empire to the ceremony…”

“And are the napkins really such a big deal?” Pidge had the audacity to ask, spoon still hanging from her mouth.

The answer was simultaneous and immediate:

“YES!!”

As he slowly began to eat, Lance wondered if his arguments with Keith were always so ridiculous. For the record, royal blue looked definitely better.

“And what about this one?” Allura butted in, pointing at a purple page “Old mauve? It looks pretty, and it’s basically both red and blue”

The couple looked at her, then at the sample book, then at each other.

“It’s perfect!”

Older Lance chuckled and leaned forwards, letting Bun Keith meet him halfway for a quick, improvised kiss.

And it was right there, invested in that scene everyone else had chosen to ignore, that the youngsters’ eyes crossed paths again.

Just like it had happened that morning at the lion’s room, when they saw the couple hugging and saying their goodbyes before the mission, they caught each other staring from across the room. Painfully ironic, disgustingly poetic. Two angry gazes, avoiding one another, now united by the sight of devotion.

Keith looked away and dropped his spoon, meal not quite finished yet as he stood up. Lance was about to do the same thing, suddenly stuffed and ready to go to sleep. But as he made up his mind and tried to stand up, he saw Keith casually sitting next to him instead, bowl in hand as he started to eat again.

Lance deadpanned, looking around, trying to see if anyone else had found that weird. But no one seemed to be paying enough attention, either too tired or too caught up in their own thoughts to notice.

He entered full defense mode, brow knitted and posture stiff, comebacks queuing behind his tongue. Whatever Keith was doing wouldn’t catch him off-guard this time.

He wouldn’t let himself be pushed around. He wouldn’t let himself raw and vulnerable in front of his enemies. He wouldn’t be humiliated again.

He was ready.

But Keith didn’t attack. He simply sat there, eating slowly, eyes in every corner of the room except for the seat right next to his own. He acted as if he didn’t even notice where he was, and it had Lance’s blood boiling.

“What do you think you are doing?” He asked, as he continued to eat his food as well. They had to be on the same page.

Keith looked up from his bowl, but didn’t quite stare at him as he talked. He shrugged indifferently, gazing sideways.

“What do you mean?”

“What are you? A chair tester?” He pushed on, armed to the teeth “We don’t need your services over here, thank you”

If Keith wasn’t going to look at him as they talked, then neither was Lance. So he didn’t really catch his reaction as he crossed his arms and stared plainly at the table.

“I can sit wherever I want” He shrugged, pushing Lance to the verge of patience.

“Yeah, but why here ?”

Exasperation was obvious in his voice, confusion stretched into rudeness as he tried to get a proper grasp on the situation. But Keith didn’t seem willing to cooperate with his nerves right then, and did nothing but fueling the impassive fire as he turned and said:

“I’m just trying to do what’s right”

The response was so dim, so guiltless and sterile from any emotion it barely sounded like a thought, but like a tailor-made stamp to press at the end of the conversation. It was the patented right thing to say, the perfect counterattack. Lance wasn’t stupid. He could read through his counterproductive nature, his true intentions behind that wildcard slogan he just pulled. Some things never change, and there are wounds that neither time, nor timelines, seem to be able to heal.

No matter the reality, it was always a competition between them. A competition that Keith was currently winning, judging by the way he was still eating while Lance’s stomach was tied into a knot.

“What? Getting along with me? You didn’t seem so eager to keep up with the honor at that Yogurt Z planet bullshit”

He didn’t raise his voice in the sightless. He tamed his anger, proving he was up for another round. If Keith wanted to act in all correctness and poise, then so would he.

But despite all his efforts, and no matter how ready he felt to deal with any possible strike, Lance certainly wasn’t set for the cruelest raid of all:

“I don’t know what you are talking about”

He dropped the spoon, loudly.

Again, that filthy, nauseating sensation was crawling up his gut.

For a second, he was back at Yogr Z. Chest burning with every acid breath, mind as fogged and dense as its atmosphere, no solid ground beneath his feet.

Cold, aloof eyes turning away from him.

The lump in his throat was painful to hold. Angry, nasty words were bubbling in his mouth like rabies, sealed behind his pursed lips. Silence hurt like a bitch. He wanted to scream at him, give him a piece of his mind, pin him down until he remembered , until he acknowledged his thoughts were messed up and his heart has not beat the same since then.

He had to have felt something. Lance couldn’t be the only one.

Could he?

“Of course you don’t know” He managed to remain composed as he stood up, taking his bowl to the washer. And he would have probably been able to keep it up until he was out of the room, if it hadn’t been for the firm grip suddenly talking his arm.

Keith looked up at him from his place, grabbing hard.

“Lance”

That’s all he said.

That’s all it took for Lance’s walls to crumble.

Anger flooded over pain, brute and anesthetizing, explosive. His chest trembled, his skin sizzled to the touch. He knew that was probably what Keith had wanted all along, to crack him, to make him snap. But as his shame muted into resentment and cholera took up his mind, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“ Lance nothing!” He yanked his arm away from his grip “That’s it, I’m done!”

He didn’t miss the way some of their teammates’ faces turned from their own conversations to stick their noses at theirs, but they didn’t really seem to mind.Their fighting was already more normal than not, and it had become a normal background noise by then.

But this wasn’t just another one of their quarrels, and only bun Keith and Lance’s double had seemed to notice.

They stared nervously at the signs of anger beginning to make their awaited appearance though Keith’s stoic face.

“You are being immature”

“Oh, I’m being immature? How’s that, Mr. stick-up-their-ass?” Lance pointed a finger at his chest “You keep talking like you were the teammate of the year, but when a friend needs a hand you give them your back instead”

He could see his older self opening his mouth and about to butt in, but his fiancé immediately cut him off, holding him back.

“At least I don’t go around bothering everyone else with my own issues, unlike someone I know” Keith didn’t seem to require any kind of backup, though, as he spilled his own fair amount of malice himself “I’m just trying to do what’s best for the team!”

Lance ducked his head, taking the shot with his chest up and his posture firm. For a few seconds, no sound came out of him but a single, long exhale of his nose. By that instance everyone else in the room was already quiet and staring incredulously, but Lance couldn’t find some care. He swallowed his own shame in a painful gulp, words pulling from his tongue like the leashes of a hundred rabid dogs; and, before he could stop himself, he was talking:

“The team? Oh no, angel. It has nothing to do with the team, you only care about yourself” He said, voice dry and eyes merciless as they stared right into Keith’s “So you better don’t lose the papers to that little shack in the middle of the desert, cause you are going to be alone for a long, long while”

And, giving no further room for discussion, he turned to storm through the door.

“Lance!” Shiro stood up, calling out for him

But it was too late.

Lance had already left, taking with him the fleet sight of a broken Keith as some kind of victory token he didn’t really want.

Chapter Text

Lance didn’t know why, but lately he had found himself thinking about his childhood a lot.

Something, whatever might be, was making him dwell into his memories with unusual frequency; swim within the voices of his parents and his siblings’ smiles for some bittersweet comfort, and explore the blandest corners of himself. He was a nostalgic mess. More often than not, old sensations would come back to haunt him and confuse him to no end. They would break into his mind, uninvited and uncalled for, and left with no more purpose than leaving Lance thoughtful and vulnerable.

This time, it happened while he was in bed.

He was staring at the ajar door, a perfect column of light within the darkness of the room, and he couldn’t help but remember the time one of his front teeth fell and he lost it in the playground. It had been loose for about a week already, he went to school showing it off to every teacher and classmate with pride, making constant updates of its progress. But, unfortunately, what ended up finishing the job was a perfectly aimed soccer ball to his face that sent the tooth flying towards a sewer, and Lance was heartbroken.

His parents had tried to console him, to tell him that El Ratoncito Perez wouldn’t mind if he had lost the tooth, that he would still give him money. But Lance wasn’t convinced. And that evening, with no token to place under his pillow, the nerves wouldn’t let him sleep.

He spent the entire night like that, lying still, eyes solely focused on the luminous crack of the door. Waiting.

And he knew he should be trying to doze off, legend said that only sleeping kids would get a coin. It wasn’t so easy. He perfectly remembered how noisy silence could be, how his ears were perked and hypersensitive, aware of the kids’ toilet dripping faucet, the ticking of every clock, his father’s faint snoring coming from the room next door; his imagination playing him off, making him believe he heard some footsteps down the hall.

He never thought he would ever feel so anxious again, expecting another nocturnal visit. He never thought the memory of El Ratoncito Perez would come to him again while he was in outer space, of all places.

And yet there he was, his grown-up body curled into a ball, nose peeking from under the covers, eyes transfixed in the gap of the automatic door as he waited for it to get wider, to finally open, to bring him the consolation prize for something he lost.

He pretended to be asleep. Just in case Keith decided to appear, he didn’t want to be caught staring at the door like a deer in headlights. But he didn’t really think that would happen. It had been hours since Lance left the kitchen, everyone else was probably asleep by then. And, just like the previous night, Keith hadn’t shown his face at their room yet.

This time it made a lot more sense though. They had both said some ugly things, and the benches at the common room were surely more comfortable than sleeping next to the person who called him a worthless loner.

Lance sighed, rubbing his hands down his face.

He had so many questions, so many nerves on edge pricking him under his skin. He couldn’t really blame himself for what he said. Keith had been nothing but a pain ever since they crossed that space hole; he had stuffed lance with wrath, insecurities and butterflies not even their screaming at the kitchen had let him get out of his system. He deserved every single one of those words and more, he was right.

And yet, Lance couldn’t help but feeling awfully wrong.

Once the feverish cholera had cooled down, once his mind got off the battlefield and he managed to pluck out the thorns, he wished nothing but for fury to take him back. Without the anger, his heart was lax and an easy prey for gloom and guilt. He didn’t want to feel guilty, Keith didn’t deserve his apprehension. He was probably sound asleep by then, with no memories or Ratoncito Perez to haunt him, hating Lance in peace.

He heard a noise from somewhere around the castle, and his eyes shot back to the crack of the door almost instantly.

There was no one there. Lance needed to stop pondering and go the hell to sleep, but thoughts kept buzzing in his skull nonstop like an angry mob of wasps. There were still so many emotions he needed to unload, and for a moment he considered knocking on Hunk’s door. But it wouldn’t have been fair to disturb him, as well as it wouldn’t have been right to depend on senseless catharsis. There were some bits of feelings he still hadn’t quite come to terms with and sharing his unresolved mind would serve for nothing, no matter how much he needed it. There were some issues he had to discuss with himself.

He suddenly sat up, blinking the sleep away from his eyes.

He could literally discuss it with himself.

Standing up, careful not to step on the unused mattress on the floor, Lance made his way out of the room. The castle’s lighting system was never completely off, Allura simply dimmed it down so that they were able to move around during an emergency. So, as he walked down the hall, he didn’t have major problems reaching the door he was looking for.

His own room.

Everyone’s doors were already close and emanating sleep. Except Pidge’s, of course. It was common knowledge she stayed up late playing video games, even more now that she had herself as a player 2. The hums of her console were the only sign of life he heard until he reached the end of the hallway, so Lance was sort of surprised when he saw the thin yellow light peeking from under his door’s gears. Giggles, there were giggles coming from the inside.

He took a deep breath, hand hovering over the opening button, giving himself the chance to regret his resolve. He had thought the remorse of waking him up would make him back down soon enough. But the lights were on, there were voices inside and nothing to stop him. He had to do it, he had no excuse.

“Hey, Alpha Lance. It’s me, you” He opened the door, the giggles sounding louder “I was wondering if…”

As he took in the sight though, he realized he did, in fact, have an excuse:

His eyes fell immediately onto the two bodies in the middle of the room, half-naked and tangled in the bedsheets. Bun Keith was lying on his back, hair loose and shirt nowhere to be seen, laughter withering in his mouth as soon as he acknowledged they had a spectator. A pair of eager, dark lips was trailing a path down his chest and his stomach, too concentrated on their labor to mind the opening door. Only as his fiancé shifted and shook his shoulder he realized his younger self was standing by the doorframe, cheeks red and jaw dropped.

“Oh…”

Lance wished he could say that was all he saw, a quick glance, that he immediately turned away and covered his eyes as he spat his apologies. But his head was stuck and his eyes were wide open, fixed and cursed by the bare image of intimacy; the tangled legs, the reddened lips, the flushed skin. Never had he seen two people so close to each other. Never had he thought two bodies could occupy such little space, cuddling to each other’s bones, existing as one. Never had he felt so naked being fully clothed.

“Inopportune, aren’t we?” Alpha’s voice was bucket of water. Boiling water, burning him to the marrow.

Not as a reflex, but as a mere act of decency, Lance finally looked away.

“Oh fuck, holy cheese…” he cleared his throat, trying to find his voice “I’m so sorry, I never thought you would be…you know...”

From the corner of his eye, he could see bun Keith instinctively pulling the covers further onto his fiance’s legs, hiding him, as if Lance didn’t know exactly what was there. He seemed conflicted, sort of restless as he shifted into a sitting position; as if he wasn’t sure he should be feeling self-conscious or not. Lance couldn’t really blame him.

“No biggie, it’s ok” Alpha acted totally unaffected, talking naturally and playful as ever as he sat up to face the intruder “What brings you to the cave of love, buddy?”

Lance had to actually take a few seconds to remember what he was doing there.

He looked around the room, trying to find himself a distraction as he found his words. Where his photographic memory told him there should be a small, simple bed, now stood an awkwardly big double that left way too little room for circulation. The lighting was dim, the walls were covered in pictures and the floor in wrinkled clothes, and the faint scent of his facial cream was lingering in the air.

“Uhm, I was actually wondering if I could have a word with you…” He said, talking to the Lance in one of the pictures rather than the flesh and bone version “...but I don’t want to interrupt, you know, whatever you were doing…”

“Oh no, worry not! We were just going to sleep” The Lance in the picture was smiling in front of a huge cake with a blue “21” in the front. He was at the common room, he could see, Hunk and Katie were at his left and bun Keith was kissing his right cheek. A party hat stood proudly on top of his head, and he was wearing clothes Lance didn’t quite recognize. But clothes nonetheless “We never fuck while we are on duty”

Bun Keith snorted.

“Yeah, sure”

“I’m just trying to give a good example to the kid” Alpha flicked his forehead, and the other simply laughed as he leaned into a sleeping position “Get some rest, stupid”

Lance never thought his own voice could sound so soft.

“Don’t you want me to wait for you?”

“Nah, you had a long day” long, gentle fingers raked through long strands of black hair “I’m going to talk with mini-me, you stay here and sleep”

There wasn’t much resistance against that order.

Lance observed numbly as his double swiftly planted a kiss on his fiancé’s shoulder, standing up and stretching a bit before he found his robe on the floor.

“Sorry again” he felt the need to say, even though he was clearly not looking away.

“No prob” Alpha patted his shoulder, guiding him out of the room “Let’s go, kiddo”

“I’m not a kid, I’m eighteen!”

“So young and innocent…”

Before he closed the door he turned off the lights; and the so-called cave of love, now nothing but a static picture within the doorframe, disappeared into the darkness with a click. Lance had to take a few seconds to get used to the cold white lighting of the castle again, the long and empty corridor, so foreign to the surreal warmness from just some seconds ago.

“You look like you need a drink” There suddenly was an arm around his shoulder, shaking him out of his thoughts “Come on, let’s go to the kitchen. I have the perfect cure for heartache”

He sighed, letting his nerves show off now that he was, basically, all by himself.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Oh boy, believe me, I know that face. I know exactly when it’s heartache” Alpha’s expression fell as he looked at him, soft and impossibly vulnerable, yet undeniably wise “And I know exactly when it’s Keith”

Closing his eyes, Lance let go of the rains. And he let himself be guided blindly through the very well-known hallways of the castle.

“When you said I needed a drink, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind”

Lance took a seat at the kitchen table, waiting patiently as he watched his older self pour two big glasses of fresh milk

“Weird, considering we are supposed to have the same mind” Alpha slid one of the glasses across the table, and did a little toast with his own before he sat down across him “Courtesy of our beautiful Kaltenecker”

Lance chuckled tiredly, raising his glass as well before he took a sip.

The constant hum of the kitchen gave him some sort of weird ease. They were never in silence, there was always something to distract oneself with. It was oddly therapeutic, and Lance wasn’t really in his right mind to question it.

His aunt Laura had always told him he had very expressive eyes as a child, and he never really understood what she meant until that very moment. Alpha was staring at him from behind his glass, intensely and without apparent slyness, mouth full of milk and questions dripping from the corner of his lips. It was his turn to talk. It had been him who had walked into his room during unholy hours, dragged him out of bed with his fiancé and asked him for a chat. The least thing he could do right then, was actually speaking.

“He doesn’t hate you, you know” Alpha outfasted him again.

He looked up, licking the milk mustache from his upper lip.

“What?”

“Keith” The kitchen stopped humming for a second  “He doesn’t hate you”

Lance leaned against the backrest, shoulders stiff and column as straight as a broomstick. He didn’t really know how to start since, actually, he didn't really know what he wanted to say. All he really understood, was that something felt wrong.

“If he doesn’t hate me, then why does he treat me like human garbage?”

Alpha shook his head, letting out a long, tense breath as he crossed his arms, almost defensively.

“He’s not very good with people, you know that”

“Yeah, but with me it’s different, he pulls away! He…” Lance clicked his tongue, huffing indignantly “He acts like it physically pains him to be my side”

“It doesn’t pain him! Didn’t he sit next to you at dinner just earlier?”

“He just wanted to look cool and mature in front of the team! He didn’t even talk to me! He just sat there and...ate? I don’t know. If he really wanted to spend time with me he would actually use our fucking shared room, for instance. He’s only nice when the others are around”

Alpha laughed through his nose.

“You really think he has the social skills to get away with that?” He said, eyes rolling playfully “Keith is much simpler than that. He wants something, he goes for it. He just wanted to sit by you. End of the story”

Lance sighed, unsure if angry or pained, face falling into a rather childish pout.  

“In that case, he really doesn’t want to spend time with me” He coughed, turning to speak to his reflection on the glass “While we were at that Yogr Z planet today, we talked a lot. Like, a real lot. And it was actually nice and cool and we joked around, and I was thinking: hey this isn’t half as bad. It was comfortable, it was good , I thought he was feeling it too. But in a blink he’s suddenly turning away from me and ignoring me through the entire mission”

“Hmm, but did something happen to make him act like that? Any joke? Anything that might have made him feel weird?”

Through the next few seconds, the humming of the kitchen had quite a remarkable solo.

The next streak of evidence was compromising, not only for Keith but for Lance as well, and he wasn’t sure if the price was worth paying. He took another stiff, dishonest sip of milk to swallow his words down, but they just got stuck in his throat.

“Well…” He coughed “We might have had some maybe not so averse staring contest…”

Lance had never seen anyone cracking a smile so fast.

“Were you going to kiss him?”

Mouth hanging wide, brows knitted and hand to his chest, he let out the most inflated gasp his lungs could bear.

“Uhm, of course not !??” He practically wheezed, almost standing from his seat “I would never!!...and even if I hypothetically did, he wouldn’t have noticed…”

“Believe me, he did” Alpha chuckled.

“How would you know!?”

“We aren’t as sly as we think we are” He said “And it makes sense Keith ran away if he felt the sexual tension, he’s not really good at dealing with that stuff”

Lance threw his head back, acting all fed up and moody, when in reality he just needed an excuse to stop staring at his other self. In that position, with his head hanging on the backrest, he could pretend the blood raising up his cheeks and ears was just a product of gravity.

“Maybe I just creeped him out”

“No, you didn’t. He’s just embarrassed”

“Embarrassed? Keith?” He sat properly, making a show out of his disagreement “Yeah, sure”

“He’s the awkwardest human being ever! Trust me, I know what I’m talking about, I’m his husband-to-be”

“No you are not!” He snapped, making his double jolt a little “You are bun Keith’s husband-to-be! My Keith is different, he’s always alone, he treats everyone like crap! He’s mean and selfish! He doesn’t care about anyone but-”

“Was he selfish when he risked his life to save Shiro?”

Lance hiccupped, words retracting down his diaphragm. He never thought his voice could sound so low.

“Uhm, no, but…”

“Was he selfish when he joined the Blade of Marmora? When he almost crashed his ship into Naxzela?”

There was no answer.

Alpha gave his frown a rest, sighing deeply and taking a hand to his chin, scratching at his stubble.

“Look, our Keiths might have some differences, but there’s no possible universe in which he isn’t a good person” His stare was so strong, so intense, it banished Lance’s own gaze to the ground “He’s just a bit rough and hard to approach, I understand that. But it makes sense, considering all he’s been through”

“What do you mean?”

Alpha’s frown jumped up a little.

“You don’t know?” His mouth twisted dolefully as Lance shook his head “Keith was abandoned as a child”

The information didn’t quite get past his ears. The words remained stuck in there, heavy and ringing loudly, throbbing.

“What?”

“He was orphaned at young age, didn’t even meet his mother and has no news of his father since he was a kid. He barely remembers ever having a family, let alone a place to call home”

The concept was so far, so foreign to Lance’s own experience it seemed incompatible with his system. It just wouldn’t sink in. He couldn’t imagine it, he couldn’t see it, he couldn’t understand it. But he could feel it, somehow. He could embody it, clenching his jaw and sweating cold, digging his fingers into his seat.

“I...I did know about his mother, but I never thought he…”

“Why do you think he ended up alone in a shack when he got expelled? The garrison was all he had, he had no place to go”

Lance felt disgusting.

“I had no idea”

“That’s why he acts so aloof sometimes, he’s not good at dealing with people, and he’s terrified of abandonment” Alpha said, matter-of-factly “Whenever he feels like he’s getting too emotionally involved, he pulls away”

Lance sunk his face onto his palm, trying to rub the heaviness off his lids but not quite succeeding.

Realizations took turns to pinch him in the gut, to bite him and rip him till there was nothing but guilt behind. It all made sense now, it all clicked. He was still mad at Keith but he was even madder at himself.

The kitchen’s humming did its unwanted appearance once again, reminding them of the dense silence. But, this time, Lance couldn’t bring himself to hear it.

“I just...don’t understand” He said after a way too long while. Alpha stared at him numbly, both of them resigned and with their insides so raw and exposed they couldn’t care about shame “How do you deal with that? I mean, I always thought that if I ever found my pair sock it would be someone, you know... more expressive . We both know we are rather affectionate, we can’t deny that. Isn’t it sad for you your own boyfriend doesn’t return as much as you give?”

He didn’t realize he was clasping onto his own shirt until he finished talking.

Alpha made a huffing sound and Lance looked upwards, expecting to find him offended. To be honest, he would have been offended if he were him. And he was. So he got actually quite surprised when he saw him smiling fondly instead.

“You know? The lovely thing about introverts is that, when they finally open up to you, you feel like you just got admitted to one of the VIP most exclusive corners of the afterlife” He said, and Lance was pretty sure that was the gentlest a joke could ever sound “Keith doesn’t go around showing everyone his softer side. But when he does...boy” He exhaled “You gotta hold for your dear life”

“Is he awkward?”

“He’s intense ” His hands joined in a silent prayer “One would think he would stutter and all but no, he just blurts shit out like it was the most natural thing to say! Do you know what he told me right before we kissed for the first time?” Lance shook his head “ I look at you and I’m home ”

“Isn’t that a line from Finding Nemo?”

“He tried really hard ok” Alpha dragged his teeth through his lips, seemingly lost in thought “The point is, he’s not the apathetic piece of granite you think he is. He can be really sweet”

Lance didn’t know if he believed in his words, but he did believe in the extra breath in his voice, in the glint of his eyes, the sincerity of his smile. That man was repulsively in love, and Lance was outright jealous.

“How was it that you two got together?” He asked, feeling shamefully warm “Was it at the garrison? Were you two friends?”

“Hmm, yeah, sort of.  At first I hated his guts because he had the position I wanted as a fighting class pilot. I remember reading his name on the lists and being all like: Keith Kogane? Who the fuck is Keith Kogane? And I was ready to punch him right on the face...until I finally met him” Lance listened carefully, intimidated by how the tale seemed to follow his memory’s steps “Then I was all like: Ok, yeah. This human being is attractive, but he’s still a show-off and I’ll kick his ass. But then he kept kicking my ass, and I got even angrier. He was my rival, my motivation...right? Maybe that’s why I followed him”

That last note sounded off-key within his own version of the story.

“What do you mean you followed him?”

“When I found out he got kicked out, I freaked out a little. Of course I was ecstatic because I was immediately ascended to fighting class, but the rumors kind of kept me awake at night. So I sneaked out, and I looked for him...”

Lance tried to picture the situation. Sneaking out of the garrison was dangerous, it was difficult. Keith’s shack was pretty far away, as well. What he did what reckless, impulsive and utterly stupid. Totally something Lance would do.

Why didn’t he do it?

“...when he first saw me there, I kid you not, he almost had a fit. He screamed at me for two hours straight. I said I felt curious as why he got expelled, he said I was an idiot, we called each other names for a while...the usual. He wouldn’t tell me shit and he was acting all moody so I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t just show up in the garrison in bare daylight, so I had to wait till nighttime”

He remembered one night, long and sleepless, in which he found himself wondering the stupidest of things. In which he considered, almost as a joke to himself, the chance of doing something so risky. He thought of a plan; all he had to do was getting up before the sun rose and be very cautious. It was possible, it was plausible, it was lunatic and feverishly exciting. Ideas kept him awake for hours until exhaustion finally beat him down.

As he woke up the next morning, however, the drive was gone.

“...There was little to do there in the middle of sand hell, so we ended up talking through all the while. At some point he even showed me some of his investigations, his suspicions, the weird stuff that was going on at the garrison. Shiro. We talked about Shiro a lot. We chatted for hours sitting in the middle of nowhere, about family, friends, school, whatever. And, when it was finally time to leave, I suddenly didn’t feel like going”  

Lance gave up on pride and smiled. It was difficult not to since, apparently, his mom wasn’t lying when she said he had a contagious smile. Alpha was passionate and in love, a deadly combination, and he seemed happy to be consumed. Way happier than Lance himself, his lonely nights and his pillow, that was getting tired of being hugged.

“Woah, so it was just that moment then” He breathed out, mostly to himself “One night, one single decision made differently...and it changed everything”

“Yeah, I guess” Alpha leaned back on his chair, narrowing his eyes with purposeful mischief, staring like he knew so much better.  Lance didn’t like that look “Did it really change everything , though?”

“What do you mean?” He said, already on the defensive.

“I mean, yeah, that day I spent at the desert with him made me realize I had some feelings...but if things were really the same between our universes, then you must feel at least a little bit of attraction since the garrison...right?”

Lance’s resolve to keep it together didn’t last as much as he wanted to believe. Something cracked within him, almost like a joint popping, and before he could get a grip on himself his body was lax and dropping resignedly onto the table. The tension in the air was abruptly broken, and words were throbbing in his tongue too much for him to control.

“His eyes are fucking purple!” He groaned, grabbing his head in absolute defeat.

“I know right!?” Alpha followed right after “And his skin is so naturally pretty?? Like, what the hell ?”

“Oh my god, yes! Did he sell his soul to the devil!? It’s flawless!”

“And he does that thing with his nose when he frowns...you know what I mean?”

“Yeah! The thing ! Fuck, I thought I was the only one who noticed!”

“Well, technically, you are. We are” both of them sighed, staring at each other complicitly, deliberately helpless “Because we love him”

Lance let himself feel blue. Not quite accepting it yet but, for the first time, he wasn’t denying it either.

“And what should I do?” he asked, the ugly symptoms of fondness beginning to break through “I don’t think he...he would never want-”

The gentle grip of a hand on his shoulder cut him off. He raised his head to look at Alpha, and wished he could catch a bit of that contagious smile. It was soothing and mature and unlike anything Lance thought he could outline himself. And it was working. It was cooling down his engines.

“Go talk to him” it was an order, no place for objections.

“I can’t right now...he must be sleeping”

Alpha snorted.

“Please, if there’s one thing I know about Keith, is that the minimum nuisance won’t let him sleep a blink” He said, letting go of his shoulder “And considering what happened between you two today, I’m pretty sure he must be wide awake”

Lance wobbled a little as he stood up, still unsure.

“But what should I say?”

“Whatever’s on your heart! It’s time to shine, loverboy Lance!”

Inhaling deeply, Lance gulped down the remaining milk in his glass in a single blow, wiping his mouth with his sleeve as he tried to get in the right state of mind.

“Okay, I’ll do it!” He said, turning to leave before he could regret it “I can’t fear mullets forever!”

“That’s the spirit!” Alpha hit the table loudly behind him.

It was earth time 2 AM, the Red Lion was still missing, the kitchen was humming and Keith was awake and lonely somewhere around the castle. He knew he had to do it, he had to talk to him. But he doubted he would have the guts to approach him if he didn’t take advantage of the current momentum.

Before he rushed out though, he turned around to face his double again. And gifted him the thankful, sincere smile he very well deserved.

“Thanks for the pep talk”

Alpha simply smiled, raising his glass once more.

“Go get him, lion”

Chapter Text

The first place he checked was the common room. Maybe because his mind insisted in imagining Keith there, laying on one of the benches as he tried to fall asleep. Lance was surprised when he didn’t find him there. Turning on his heel he made his way to the training deck, each step faster than the previous one as he jogged through the vastness of the castle. It was common knowledge that Keith liked to clear his mind by bringing down some robots with his sword. To be honest, it was therapeutic to watch as well. Lance had caught himself staring at him numerous times back in their universe, so he couldn’t help but wish he opened the door and found him there, breathless and sweaty and in movement, acting up to his body’s agility.

But he wasn’t there either.

Nor in the holograms room, nor in the pool, nor in the bathroom. Lance’s feet and heart kept raising their pace and Keith was nowhere to be found.

He hadn’t meant to walk into the cockpit. It was by mere chance that he caught a glimpse of the giant windshield, space’s eternal night framing a huddled figure leaning against the wall.

Lance’s breath got stuck in his throat.

Keith was sitting in a corner, gloved hand pressed against the window and fingers spread wide, clasp knife jumping slowly through the spaces in between.

He was still wearing the same clothes he wore at the dinner table, handy-downs from his older self. He clearly hadn’t even tried to put on a pajama and get some sleep yet. The emptiness of space was both beautiful and terrifying behind him, and Lance barely recognized the room without the thousand lamps and screens to light it up. With everything turned off, it was the faint white glow of the windows that stood out. And starlight was kind to Keith’s skin. It was barely a glint in the up of his cheekbones, the tip of his nose and the blade of his knife.

Lance didn’t know how much time he spent staring before he dared his first step inside. How much he spent looking and wondering, questioning every decision that had brought them to that moment. He wasn’t really thinking when he walked towards him, pace slow and unsure as he got closer, afraid of startling him away. Keith didn’t even turn his head as he sat next to him. He kept toying with the clasp-knife, not quite playing the game but as a mere distraction. They were both too caught up in their own little act, pretending like they didn’t notice the other person in the room while they sat some few inches apart.

No words seemed to fit the silence properly. No voice could be as gentle as not to break it badly, as not to crack the dim, bland harmony of the scene and make them acknowledge the tension. So Lance simply observed quietly, eyes following the every movement of those skilled hands as they played along. At some point, he pressed his own hand onto the glass. Keith looked confused for a second, and it was the first interaction they had since he entered the room. When Lance spread his fingers and stared at the blade he finally seemed to understand his intentions, and carefully began to stick the knife between Lance’s bare digits as well.

It lasted quite a while, in which the only hearable noise was the ship’s subtle purring and the taps of the blade against the glass. Lance only dared to stare at Keith through the reflection of the windshield every now and then, whenever the motion of his hand made him dizzy enough and he had to look away. It was as comfortable as it could be, the oddest kind of natural.

“So…” once the tension in the air had finally softened, Lance’s voice slipped easily into the atmosphere “Why the cockpit?”

It didn’t feel brute or invasive, maybe a bit of a forced conversation starter. And, judging by Keith’s puzzled pout, maybe sort of confusing as well.

“What?”

Lance spread his hand wider, noticing Keith’s attention span shortening and not ready to lose a finger yet.

“Why the cockpit?” he asked again “Why are you here?”

“I don’t know, I like the view, I guess”

“I wish I could say the same thing” He tried to get lost in the view as well, but he always ended up focusing on the reflection instead “Space’s everything and nothing like I thought it would be”

Keith hummed, ceasing the tapping of the blade and beginning to drag it against the glass instead, drawing a wavy line around the contour of Lance’s hand.

“And why’s that?”

His voice sounded aloof, almost uninterested. But Lance knew better than that. The conversation was still a warm-up, almost like the stabilizing practice wheels for kids’ bicycles. They were both very much aware they were supposed to be having a different talk, but the line between pride and cowardice was pretty thin and none of them dared to address that matter. There was a silent agreement to just turn a blind heart to the case, and enjoy the alibi.

“I remember the first time I ever saw Earth from space, during one of the practice launches at the garrison. I had been waiting for that moment since I was like five years old or something, and it definitely didn’t disappoint. I love space, I always did and always will, but I think I will never love it again as much as I did that day” Lance grinned wistfully “I felt powerful, so damn huge. None of the pictures in my crappy collectable posters and books could compare to the real thing. To see all the seven seas at the same time? Just how cool is that?? It felt like I was everywhere ” He sighed, removing his hand from the window, and meeting with the empty immensity once again “Now I sometimes feel like I’m nowhere at all”

For the first time since he entered the room, Keith turned to look at him, He stopped playing with the knife, holding it between his hands and clenching to it almost protectively.  

“I think I know what you are saying”

“You do?”

He hummed, leaning his head onto the glass.

“Whenever I got lost during my walks in the desert, I used the stars as a guide to find my way to the shack” As they talked, an infinity of nameless, deviant lights passed them by “From here, stars kind of make me feel more lost”

Lance pressed his knees onto his own chest, unable to process any answer but the timid nod of his head. His mind was once more wandering through the dunes, trying to picture Keith looking at the stars to find his way home.

“Wasn’t it a bit maddening to be so...isolated?” He opted for a new level of dare, asking what he thought was a risky question “In the desert, I mean. I would have gone absolutely bonkers if I were you”

But Keith didn’t really seem to mind, as he shrugged the tension off and answered simply and concise.

“I’m used to being lonely”

Somehow, that statement was way more upsetting to Lance than it was to Keith.

“No one can get used to that” He said, sounding almost defiant.

“It was silent and peaceful, the garrison had really got into my nerves and the desert kind of helped me cool down. My investigations around the Blue Lion helped me set my mind on something, I guess. It kept me entertained”

Lance couldn’t help but thinking Keith’s loneliness was deeper than the dessert, wider, easier to get lost in. And with no stars to follow home.

“Didn’t you wish you had someone to talk to?...didn’t you wish someone had found you?”

“I’m not a people person, it’s not a big deal” Keith dodged every implication, remaining oblivious  “I’m not good at... connecting with people, in the same way you do”

Lance might have been ignoring a few implications as well.

“What do you mean?”

“It just comes easy to you, you wouldn’t understand”

“Understand what ?”

Keith huffed loudly, his body reacting to frustration as he subtly curled his fingers and clenched his teeth, his voice sounding just a little louder than intended.

“How hard it is to be liked , I guess” He let his body rest limply onto the windshield, exhausted by the mere confession “But I don’t really care, I don’t really need to be liked”

Somehow, Lance’s sympathy managed to get threaded with anger. Indignation, maybe. The infuriating disbelief in what he was hearing.

For a second he thought he would get him to open up, but there he was again, back into his usual role.

“Everyone needs to be liked!” He exclaimed.

“It’s not like the Red Lion choose me cause I was the friendliest guy in town. The team needed a good pilot, and that’s all I had to give” Keith stated as he pressed the top of the knife onto his finger, with not enough pressure to draw blood “I just need to be useful”

Lance felt a squeamish twist in his gut; not sure if because of his words, or because of the reckless games he was pulling with the blade.

“Does your mullet affect your brain?” He said, yanking the knife away from his hands “You are not a weapon, Keith”

“In the Blade of Marmora, Kolivan said…”

“I don’t give three pickles about what Kolivan said” His voice pitched with irony, and it almost felt foreign when he spoke next; so low and unthinkably soft “We are not just paladins, we are humans too. You are human”

Keith arched a brow, and it took Lance a few seconds to realize what was wrong with his conclusion.

“Not exactly…”

“Oh, fuck, well, not you - I mean, not entirely you. I didn’t mean...I just tried to say that…” He stopped himself, taking some time to actually formulate a sentence “We don’t care if you are half Galra”

The conversation wasn’t going anywhere. Keith was still distant, not only verbally but physically, tangled within himself in the corner, leaning onto the window as if he wanted to escape. Lance felt like he was jumping on rocks, crossing a turbulent river that would never give him a chance. If he gave a misstep drowning was inevitable. So he just skipped from one topic to the other, minding his feet and his words, afraid of going into depth.

For one fraction of a second, their eyes met on the windshield’s reflection. Keith had been staring at him, profoundly, concentrated, but he immediately retracted as soon as he was caught. Perhaps it was wishful thinking, but Lance felt like they were repeating the scene of the kitchen just earlier: Keith was trying to approach him, to say something, but he didn’t know how.

Maybe Lance shouldn’t be afraid of the river’s depth. Maybe, just needed to let himself fall.

Smiling deviously, he took the knife and got in position to start the game. But he didn’t play it with his own fingers. Instead, he made a head gesture to signal Keith, staring at his hand and asking him to join.

Keith retracted his hand immediately. He shook his head, frowning with suspicion and moving backward, obviously fretful.

Lance chuckled lowly.

“Oh, come on, mullet. I trusted you to play with my hand, now it’s my turn” He said, more fondly than teasing, looking him right in the eye “Don’t you trust me?”

With a nervy sigh, Keith gave in and warily put his palm on the floor between them, fingers spread and vulnerable and ready to play their usual game.

But Lance had other rules in mind. He put the blade aside, looking away into nowhere and sticking his own fingers in between Keith’s instead.

He could tell by the corner of his eye that Keith jolted a little. The hand underneath his own jumping as a mere reflex, almost breaking away from his hold. He retracted until he was barely touching him with the tip of his fingers, and he stopped. Lance couldn’t help the relieved grin breaking through his nerves as he felt those cold, calloused fingers freezing in place, tense and unmoving, unsure of what to do next.

Lance wasn’t sure of what to do next, either. He wasn’t sure of how time worked, of what cosmic threads had twisted and tangled for them to end up like that in that very moment; he had no idea of what would happen.

All he knew, as he forced himself to look forward onto the starry view, was that there were three fingers pressed onto his palm. The castle was silent, everyone was fast asleep and space was wide and cold. Keith’s body was still distant, still curled onto the window and away from his own. But they were connected now. Touching. Sharing the warmth they still stored from home.

They stayed like that for what could have been Earth hours. It was difficult to estimate, when his heart was beating ten times per second. Anxiety and tension had never felt sweeter and neither had fondness been so close to pain. But Lance was living it, and he spent the entire while trying to gather the voice and the pride to finally speak.

“About what I said earlier at dinner today, look, I didn’t mean to…” He sighed, giving in for once and for all “I’m sorry, ok? I shouldn’t have brought that up”

The three fingers in his palm turned into four, as they found their way between Lance’s own.

“It’s ok” Keith said, voice rusty with silence “I’m sorry for kind of running away from you the other day, you know, when you were upset and all”

“No biggie, I shouldn’t have cried in the first place. We are paladins, we shouldn’t let our emotions interfere”

To that, Keith simply snorted.

“Woah, who knew you could be such a hypocrite” He commented “What happened to the whole we are humans speech? Lance, it’s ok you miss your family”

Lance sunk his face between his own knees, unready to look at him yet.

“But it’s not ok if I bother everyone else”

“Who said you bother us?”

“You did”

Silence. For quite a while, all he got for an answer was the awkward tension of his hand in his.

He could hear him taking several breaths to talk, his mouth opening repeatedly but closing right away as he didn’t find his voice.

“I…” Was what he first managed to let out “I really shouldn’t have said that”

Lance shrunk his shoulders.

“It’s ok”

“No it’s not” Keith said, grunting a little in frustration “Fuck, I’m so bad at this. I’m- I’m so sorry, alright? I just…it’s hard for me to understand you sometimes. I overheard your conversation with your mother and I don’t really know how to talk to crying people, I guess I panicked a little, so I just left. It was a bad move, I know”

He sounded more angry than sorry, but Lance got the message either way. He smiled a bit to himself, certain Keith wasn’t looking at him either, and allowed his fingers to squeeze just a little tighter around his hand.

“You are not as bad as you think you are” He said after a while.

“What?”

“You said you are bad with people, but people seem to really like you” He wasn’t quite joking, but he probably sounded like he did “I mean, the team adores you, Shiro has been your friend since forever...and you were maddeningly popular at the garrison! What the hell, I heard a girl once crashed her simulation ship cause she was ogling you or something”

Keith turned to look at him with a goofy frown, not quite laughing, but not really angry either. He seemed mostly confused, unsure if he should believe in the kindness of his words or the mockery of his tone.

“Shut up” Was his plain answer, not so plain as he served it with a grin “That’s just a rumor”

Lance giggled, unconsciously tightening the grip of his hand, afraid the change of mood would make Keith let go. It didn’t. If anything, his grab got a bit stronger as he started chuckling as well.

“My point is...you aren’t as cool and aloof as you think you are, Keith. And I...” He cleared his throat, as soon as he realized it was the first time they actually stared at each other since they held hands. The combination was quite potent “...the team needs you, and not just as a stupid fighting sword”

Keith rolled his eyes, pretty and ironic and still so very purple, forcing their gazes apart.  He bumped their shoulders together playfully, and after their bodies were done bouncing from the impact, they found their place just a little bit closer together. Arms almost touching, hands still tangled.

“Not as much as they need you, though”

The comment caught Lance off-ward.

“Uh?”

“Don’t play the fool” Keith pouted, eyes focused and way too on him “You are a fairly good pilot yourself”

“You know you are better than me, I can’t even control Red properly. I bet that’s the reason she ran away into the space hole in the first place and...” The gentle hold on his fingers turned into a vice grip, and before he could react his joints were being pulled mercilessly into a rush of pain “Ouch! Keith, what the hell?”

“Stop being stupid” He simply said, nose doing that thing he did when angry “You are very important”

“You think so?”

“You know I do”

“Enlighten me”

Keith seemed suspicious, as if he yet weren’t sure if he was being mocked at all. But Lance genuinely wanted to hear his answer, he needed to know and it showed. He leaned forward, eyes prying and intrusive, kicking their way into Keith’s personal space.

“Well…” Keith trailed off, looking fairly intimidated “I never really saw you as my rival at the garrison, that’s just something stupid you pulled out of nowhere and I really had no choice on the matter. I had no strong thoughts on you until you started getting on my nerves with your rivalry, and I started to think you were just immature and jealous and a pain in the ass...until things started to get rough in the team. That’s when I really got to notice the potential you had” He made a pause to swallow spit “ And that’s when I started to get scared”

Lance blinked, trying to flutter away the intensity of his stare and come back to his senses.

“Scared?” He asked, mistrustful. Not because he thought Keith was lying, but because he didn’t believe he knew what he was talking about. Like an oblivious little kid using big words, way too wide and deep and twisted for his comprehension.

There was no way someone like Keith knew the meaning of scared.

And yet, he kept talking like he did.

“When we started fighting war after war, when Shiro got lost and we lacked a leader, whenever our lives got in serious danger...It made me realize there were situations I couldn’t just fight through. My sword and my skills as a pilot were good for nothing when I saw Allura cry over his father, or when Pidge got all mad and aggressive and wanted to leave the team. Don’t even get me started on being the Black Paladin. Whenever the situation gets tense I feel like it’s my duty, like everyone’s expecting something from me. And I panic, I get fed up and end up being way too harsh and making the situation even worse...and that’s when you appear”

Keith’s eyes were unfocused. Lance noticed how they seemed to miss their target as he spoke, talking mindlessly to the empty air. His mouth was an open wound, parted and dripping words by hemorrhage, unable to stop the flow. Some hairs from his long fringe were beginning to stick onto his lips, but he didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t even seem to notice.

“You just...butt in with a joke or some stupid remark, or you blurt out things like they are. And I calm down. I don’t know how or why you do it, I don’t know if you even notice . But hell, you are just so good with people. You always know what the others need, and you always know what to do about it and I just…” He bit his own lips into a sudden stop, exhaling through his nose “It’s weird. You are weird”

Lance tried to open his mouth, but he felt like everything that would come up his throat right then was boiling steam; warm, heavy mist from his overloaded chest, a cloud of sentiment and ardor he could barely breathe through.

He looked at Keith, obviously uncomfortable and expectant under the weight of his loaded gaze. He bowed his head a little, and even more black strands of hair fell awkwardly onto his face. Lance wanted them away. He wanted to be able to look at him in the eye, and convince himself he was telling the truth.

“I...I don’t know what to say” He stuttered a little, turning his body to face Keith completely, giving his stare no room to escape.

“Was it too weird?”

“No, not really” He squeezed his hand “Actually, It was the nicest thing anyone ever said about me”

Keith looked at their intertwined hands, and when he turned back to face him again they were way too close. Lance inhaled deeply, trying to clean his mind. But the air smelled like Keith, like his breath and his skin and the minty Altean shampoo they both used. It was intoxicating.

“Oh” It only got stronger as he spoke “You’re welcome”

Lance tucked some fallen strands of dark hair behind reddened ears. Not as a mere reflex, not as an excuse to see his face. But as a purposeful, fully intended act of intimacy. A subtle taste of the waters, which didn’t seem as turbulent anymore.

“I guess we aren’t rivals any longer” He said, teasing.

“That’s just some crap you made up”

A breathy smile made its way to his lips as he saw Keith’s gaze falling to his mouth for a second, then coming back to his eyes, then dissolving into the empty air, lost and unfocused.

“So, are we a team now?” He said to release some tension, but Keith’s instant smile just stuffed it all back in, almost making him choke on it “Are we a part of the same space ass-kicking paladin family?”

“We certainly bicker like a family, that’s for sure” Keith chuckled, and it went straight into Lance’s chest.

“Yeah, but you love us all the same”

He was no foreign to his ache. Something was building up in the air and he knew exactly what it was. He was familiar with the warmth, his heart beating in his mouth, Keith’s every breath getting under his skin as the ticks flew by. They had been there before, at Yogr Z. They had been just as close before Keith pulled away and unrooted the passion from Lance’s chest with a single pluck.

He couldn’t risk it now. He couldn’t aim to go further and lose what he already had. Keith had always been impossible to read. And now, when the answer to his riddle seemed so clear, it felt too easy to be true. He just needed a sign, a clue. A confirmation that the fireworks were mutual, and not just his heart about to implode.

“Our team is the only family I know” Keith pursed his lips and looked away for a second. But he was staring at him dead in the eye, brave and unfaltering and beautiful under the starlight glimmer, when he sighed against his chin and said “ I look at you and I’m home ”

And just like that, Lance was detonated. The pressure peaked and he exploded, chest sizzling and body bursting forwards against Keith’s, catching his mouth in a clashing, off-centered kiss.

He only caught the corner of his lips, but he didn't really care. He wasn’t even able to kiss him properly, barely pressing their faces together out of mare impulse, his hand flying to the hem of his shirt and pulling him forwards, closer, just at the reach of his mouth. And Keith stayed. Keith didn’t move a muscle. Maybe because he couldn’t. Because Lance’s grip was so tight around his hand and his clothes he couldn’t even flinch. And only as he felt their noses bumping, Keith awkwardly twisting his head and taking his upper lip between his in an actual kiss, only then he came back to his senses. And he pulled away. Immediately.

The air suddenly felt too cold as he inhaled it, clean and unadulterated by Keith’s hot breath. His ears were buzzing and his stomach tied into a knot, threatening to jump all the way up his throat if he dared to move. He didn’t. He simply stood there, eyes wide and face tingling with warmth, watching closely but inertly as Keith leaned over once again, and pressed his forehead onto his.

Instinctively, Lance took a hand to cup his face. His thumb was soft and gentle as it traced his cheekbone, as well as his lips, brushing dryly against Keith’s own. Purple eyes stared intensely into him through lidded lashes, full of shine and mirth and want as they fell to his mouth again, and Lance was fast to comply.

He pecked him once, twice, chuckling as Keith followed his lips each time he pulled away, disappointed. The hold on his hand was suddenly gone, and Lance wasn’t really laughing anymore when there were two arms wrapped around his neck.  

This time, the kiss was longer. They held each other close, with one of Lance’s hands still on his cheek and the other all the way down his waist, fingers playing blindly with the cloth of his jacket. Their heads were trapped together by the encirclement of Keith’s arms, secluding them inside the warmness of his hold. Almost surreal. Almost asphyxiating if they hadn’t stopped to breathe.

“Ok, this is the weirdest thing I’ve done in space so far” Lance panted, mesmerized, concentration torn between purple eyes, messy black hair and wet, reddened lips “Also the prettiest view”

He didn’t know it was possible for a pair of eyes to make such a pronunciated parabola.

“And there you are, ruining the moment again” Keith said, sighing with exasperation, even if his smile was willing to contradict him “So cheesy. Get a grip, loser”

“Uhm, excuse me, I was trying to be nice ? Ever heard that word?”

Lance’s hand fell away from his cheek, and Keith began to rake his fingers through the short, brown hairs of his nape, almost as some sort of compensation.

“Nice? I think the term you are looking for is corny”

“At least I’m corny and not outright rude” He pointed a moody finger to his chest. But his act of proud indignation was weak above his true qualms, and his puffy-chest was deflated in a single sigh as he shrunk between Keith’s arms, questions quivering in his lips “Do you regret it, though?” He barely heard himself “The kissing and stuff, I mean. We don’t have to do it again, if you don’t want to. Of course, I’m just wondering, you know…would you?”

The words seemed to sizzle inside his mouth and he spits them quickly, senseless and out of order. He just wanted them away from his system, away from his mind and his chest and his throat, pricking him from the inside.

Keith tilted his head to the side, brow quirking in contemplation. And, for a second, Lance was sincerely afraid.

“It depends” He said, frowning his lips “I guess I’ll have to ask my older self if the bad pick up lines are a permanent downside of dating you”

Lance flinched instinctively, as if waiting for a punch that never really came.

“What?”

“Yes, Lance. That’s a yes. Don’t make this even harder for me” Keith said, cautiously, slowly untangling his arms from around his neck “Unless that wasn’t what you meant?”

Lance didn’t understand if he was approving of the kiss they just shared, the chance of any future kisses, or the possibility of dating. Whatever it was, he had no objections, and wasn’t late to express his gratitude by kissing him again.

They held hands through it, caressing each other’s palms. Lance’s fingers traced a gentle path up his forearm, thumb toying with the bone of his wrist. It made Keith sigh. He tilted his head, noses clashing clumsily, settling for a sweet new angle that allowed him to kiss a bit deeper. They stayed like that for a while, kissing in intervals; wet, languid pecks tugging from each other’s lips. And Lance was in cloud nine, ten, eleven, twenty. Lance was in outer space with no helmet, so very content with his suffocation.

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST”

They parted with a shiver, almost biting at their mouths from the jolt, turning to look at who they expected to be the older Shiro and his potty mouth.

However, the figure standing by the door was just a little younger than expected. They both gaped a little, hands still tangled and faces warmed by shame, as they saw their actual black paladin staring at them from across the room with a glass of milk in hand.

There was a minute of the awkwardest possible silence in which Shiro’s jaw could have easily dislocated from his skull. Until his older self, who just happened to come across the scene in his way to the toilet, made a quick stop to pat his shoulder and chuckle lowly.

“I see we are getting started over here” He said comfortingly “Well done, buddy. Let it all out”

Lance would have laughed, if he hadn’t just been caught making out with one of his teammates just some seconds ago. He was in no place for mockery. So he simply exchanged culprit looks with Keith, so similar and yet so different from when they were both getting scolded for losing the Red Lion.

“What is going on” Shiro said, voiceless “Are you two... together ?”

Lance opened his mouth, trying to give him an answer he didn’t really have. It was...complicated. And he was about to tell him so, until Keith decided to interrupt.

“Yeah, I guess” He said, blankly.

“You guess?”

“You want?”

“I want!”

“Uhm, guys…” They both looked at Shiro, who was holding his head as if it may fall if he let go “Could you please explain what…”

Yet, before he could make any questions or simply faint, a large, quick shadow flew in front the cockpit window.

“What the hell was that!?” Lance stood up abruptly, offering Keith a hand to lift him from the ground, and they both ran to stick their noses at the windshield “Did you guys see that??”

“Are we being attacked!?” Shiro put his glass of milk aside, quickly heading to the door “Lance, Keith, come on! We need to tell the others…”

A wide, shiny flash of red flew across the window once again. Their hearts quitted on their paced beating. A loud roar echoed through the walls of the castle, and the three paladins stared in awe at the sight of the long-lost Red Lion flying behind the glass.

“What. The. Fuck” Lance had to look at the others to check they were all seeing the same thing, and pinch himself a little to be entirely convinced that entire night wasn’t just a bonny dream “What the fuck !?”

“No way” Keith said, breath fogging the window “Why is the…? How…?”

The Red lion did a few more pirouettes before stopping completely, passively staring at them in front of the ship. She was in perfect conditions, no new dents or scratches, no apparent signs of battle. She looked like she had flawlessly spawned from out of nowhere itself, or as if she had patiently been waiting for them.

“Are you sure this isn’t just this universe’s Red Lion?” Shiro asked “We can’t be certain, maybe it’s just…”

“It’s her” Keith cut him off, hands pressed onto the glass “That’s my Red- she’s talking to me”

“Me too” Lance followed right after, feeling the familiar tug of his soul at the voice of his lion.

“What is she saying?”

Both paladins closed their eyes, concentrating on their bond with Voltron and opening up to it. For the first time, though, they felt another presence within. They weren’t alone in their linking, they were together, both of them in unison connecting to the Red Lion. The message was for the two of them this time and they took a deep breath, letting the information sink.

Shiro waited, lips pressed into a thin line.

“And?”

Lance opened his eyes, seeing Keith was already looking at him. And, judging by the flustered expression on his face, they had both heard the same thing.

“Well…” He started, coughing a little onto his hand “It’s a bit funny, you see…”

“What did she say??” Shiro repeated the question, getting a little impatient.

“She did it on purpose” Keith said.

“What??”

“She came here on purpose…” Lance scratched the back of his neck “...so that Keith and I...you know…”

Keith grabbed his hand.

“So that Lance and I met our engaged doubles and got together as well”

The Red Lion roared and there was a loud thud.

Shiro had fainted again.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait...let me get this straight” Hunk asked him to repeat himself for what could have been the twelfth time already, as they finished with the take-off preparations “The Red Lion had been just flying around us all the time?”

“Yup” Lance nodded, still in the process of putting on his armor.

“And she purposely blocked your telepathic connection so that we couldn’t find her?”

“Apparently”

“All because she had sensed you had feelings for each other through her bond with you two and she wanted you to date?”

“Yippity-yep”

“AND YOU TWO ARE DATING NOW??”

Lance was quick to cover his friend’s mouth, wincing at the loud noise that was coming from it and wanting it off.

“Don’t shout, Hunky, I haven’t slept all night because of this cheap drama” He let go of his face and went back to his task, putting on his boots “And yes, we are sort of dating”

Technically, he wasn’t really sure if that was the word Keith wanted to use for their relationship. But, after having been asked the same questions about ten times per head through the last hour, he wasn’t really willing to give further explanation of their status. He personally really liked that word, though. He liked how it sounded in his answers, in his friends’ questions, in the voices in his head. Dating. Keith and him, dating.

“Dude, I’m happy for you...confused, but happy” Hunk put a hand on his shoulder “How did it happen though? How do you feel about it?”

Lance had seriously tried to keep his excitement to himself.

But well, if he was asked so nicely…

“It’s the best day of my fucking life!” He squealed, jumping up from his seat with just one of his boots on “We talked, and he said all this pretty gay things about me being important for the team, and then I kissed him and he kissed back and his eyes are purple , Hunk! Purple!”

Judging by the awkward look of confusion he received for an answer, he must have sounded just as corny and pathetic as Alpha. But he couldn’t care, and he was more than ready to talk about it through the entire trip ad nauseam.

However, as Keith came into the room with his armor on, Lance halted into sudden muteness.

“That’s cool. Kinda cute, actually” Hunk turned to look at the Red Lion, standing proudly across the room. He smiled “I hope this works out fine for you two, you sound so happy and in lo-”

Lance put his hand over his mouth again. This time, with enough force to be considered violence.

“Shhh! Don’t say that in front of him!” He screamed inside a whisper, threateningly “I don’t want him to know that!”

“Who?”

“Keith!” He signaled at a very much distracted and oblivious red paladin “He can’t know I’m so into this! He’d be in advantage!”

Hunk whined so loud it sounded painful.

“You and your communication issues…” He muttered, shaking his head to himself and getting back to his programming.

Lance shrugged, deciding it had been long enough of Keith being in the same room for him to approach him without seeming desperate. But as he looked around and pretended it to be a coincidence for his eyes to fall on him, he found him completely ready for take-off and boarding the Black Lion.

And, of course, he couldn’t just follow him in.

So he made some time, prolonging his preparations for as long as humanly possible, taking so long in putting on his armor that if it were a real emergency the Galra would have already conquered the entire universe. Fortunately, there were no hurries this time around, and he could be petty in peace.

As he was finally about to put on his helmet though, he was interrupted by a voice he didn’t quite want to call annoying.

“Uhm, nope ? What do you think you are doing?” Alpha was suddenly in front of him, helmet in hand as well.

“Getting ready to go back to a place where I can’t actually get interrupted by myself?”

“Uh, wrong! You are fucking up, that’s what you are doing” He exclaimed, pointing angrily at his hands “That helmet over there is mine! This one’s yours”

Lance frowned, puzzled, looking between the two helmets.

“What? When did the exchange even happen? I think this one’s mine” He said “Plus, it’s the same thing. They look and work exactly the same”

“No! That helmet and I have a wonderful intergalactic story together and I want it and only it, thank you very much!” Alpha yanked the helmet away from his hands, handing him his own “How dare you, you ungrateful generation of young paladins, who not only don’t appreciate their helmets but also...”

Bun Keith made a sly appearance behind his fiancé, walking with light footsteps until he reached his side unnoticed. Lance was about to question him, way more intrigued in whatever he had to say rather than Alpha’s rant about helmets; but he closed his mouth as soon as he saw the older red paladin take a finger to his own lips, telling him to shush.

“...and you should be thankful for your helmet, too. My dear Lancey junior. That helmet protected our lovely face from so many hazards you couldn’t even...JESUS FUCK!”

Lance laughed through his nose, very much amused as he saw Bun Keith suddenly grabbing Alpha by the ribs from behind, and almost making him jump all the way to the castle’s tall ceiling from the mere scare.

“Boo” He whispered teasingly, resting his head on his shoulder and holding him in place.

“You piece of purple Galra shit let go of me!” Alpha moved to get out of his grip, but he wasn’t really trying “I hate you, you scared the quiznak out of me!”

Bun Keith smirked, squeezing his sides a little bit, not looking a little bit sorry. Lance could almost feel the hands on his own hips, and he couldn’t help but wonder how many more levels of trust he would have to climb to actually have them.

“You were boring your mini-you to death”

“Uhm, not I wasn’t!” The scowl on his face was pretty contradictory with the softness of his body, molding to the other’s hold “What are you even doing here? Don’t you have like, a man-bun conference to attend?”

“If you start making fun of my bun I’ll get a mullet again” He menaced “And I just wanted to say my goodbyes to mini Lance”

Lance tried not to feel too guilty for the butterflies beginning to take flight in his stomach.

“Oh, thanks” He said, clutching his helmet “It was a pleasure to meet you. Or meet you again , or whatever”

Bun Keith nodded, a fond, tender expression in his so very purple eyes, and Alpha wasn’t amused.

“Hey! Go get your own Kogane!” He complained, clinging to his fiancé childishly.

Lance chuckled gingerly, not really sure if he was supposed to be feeling slightly sorry.

“Did you say bye to him?” He asked, trying to balance the inconveniences “My Kogane, I mean”

They both nodded.

“Yeah, he came to us earlier to say goodbye” bun Keith said “And to thank us”

“To thank you?”

“He said he was grateful for how things turned out in the end” Alpha explained, hugging his Keith close “and that it wouldn’t have been that way if it wasn’t for us”

If the butterflies had already been flying in his stomach, now they had spread to his entire system; speeding up, buzzing and fluttering around his chest, his head, his throat. His body had become the home to a beautiful plague.

He was about to say something, anything, spit some of the butterflies to release some warmth. Yet he was interrupted by the sudden movement of the Black Lion, and Shiro’s commanding voice.

“Come on guys, let’s get going. Allura and Coran must be worry-sick”

Lance couldn’t help himself, and gave each of the doubles one last hug before he put on his helmet and boarded the ship. He wouldn’t have turned around again, building up the latent nostalgia, if it hadn’t been for Alpha’s voice; calling out from him from his secure place between bun Keith’s arms.

“Remember!” He exclaimed, pointing a finger at his own head “The answer is right there!”

Lance didn't understand, but he didn’t have much time for explanations before the Black Lion’s jaw was suddenly closed. Just like that, the smiling faces of Alpha and Bun Keith, as well as bearded Hunk and Katie, were plucked out from his sight with a single pull. The melancholy raising up his chest was almost comical, ironic. But he would have been lying if he said it didn’t hurt, as he told himself he would only have to wait five years.

It wasn’t until the engines abruptly started that he stopped staring at the closed door like an idiot, being forced to go find something to hold onto during take-off.

He gave a loud sigh, dropping to the ground on the same spot he had sat during the outward, right next to the window. The subtle scratch of a knife marked the floor next to him, and a faint smile threatened to ruin the purity of his gloom. Across the room, Keith was helping Shiro out with the navigation, making some last-minute calculations now that they carried the weight of the Red Lion as well.

“Looking angsty” Pidge’s voice made him jump a little “What’s up, loverboy ?”

“Ugh” He groaned, melding onto the wall behind him as he saw the green paladin standing proudly in front of him “Are you going to tease me about this?”

“Maybe” She said, nudging his leg playfully with her foot “But I’ll save that for later, now I just want to advise you”

Lance huffed, too proud to accept the offer.

“You? Giving me relationship advice? Sure, after that I can teach you some binary coding”

“Not relationship advice, you idiot” Her foot’s playful pushing turned into a reprimanding kick “Just some common sense kind of advice, since you seem to have none”

He was honestly way too tired to find something sufficiently witty or sarcastic to contradict her on that one, so he simply crossed his arms and listened.

“And what would that be?”

“Stop making a show out of your entire existence” She said, clearly and concise enough “Just do what you feel, don’t hide within acted outbursts and petty silences. You’ll only mess things up, and confuse Keith even further”

Lance wanted to pretend like he didn’t know what she was talking about, but he couldn’t even convince himself. Pidge was firm in her posture, both verbally and physically, standing with too much force force such a petite body. Lance didn’t have the strength to oppose her.

“It’s not that simple” He said, because he couldn’t just say it was scary to just be himself. Because he was terrified to admit he felt cold and vulnerable without the coat of his usual drama, that exuberant side of his personality that left the audience way too tired to keep prying. He wasn’t going to blurt that out, even if Pidge already knew.

“I know it’s not” She said, sounding soft for a bare second “But please, for the love of Voltron, just try ”

Lance nodded, not trusting his brain to come out with an answer that wasn’t a dessmissing joke, knowing that would sort of ruin the whole point of the conversation. Pidge hummed, seemingly content with the result and ready to leave, before her eyes got stuck at certain spot at the side of Lance’s head, and her glasses shifted as she furrowed her nose.

“You have something on your helmet” she pointed out.

“What?”

He took his hand to his shielded temple, looking for any rests of Yogr Z goo he might have missed to clean, but he felt no texture. He tried to ask Pidge what was she talking about, but she was already walking away, searching for her laptop. So he took it upon himself, and removed the helmet to give it a closer look.

It looked a little bit rustier than always, only slightly but true. It was clean and well-maintained but clearly older, if he took a closer look. What really caught his attention, however, was a small message written in black marker, just above the left border.

“ We are enough :) ” it read, and he recognized the handwriting, he recognized the need to see those words, but he didn’t recognize the memory of actually writing it.

He smiled, tracing a finger over the ink and seeing it smudge.

“Stupid Alpha” He thought out loud, and hugged his new old helmet just a little closer to his chest.

He heard a soft thud, and next thing he noticed Keith was sitting beside him, knees hugged onto his chest, keeping a fair distance of about two meters between them. He pretended to mind his own business but he wasn’t very good at it, throwing him occasional side-glances that seemed pretty much suspicious, considering he was acting like he didn’t notice they were sharing a room.

They hadn’t really talked since the whole kissing frenzy. Once the Red Lion made its unexpected appearance, they quickly woke up the entire castle’s tripulation to begin the departure preparations. Lance had been not so patiently waiting for him to make the next move. It had been him who initiated their last encounter, and he thought it was only fair to receive the same attention.

But right then, with Pidge’s words still flying around his head, his thumb stained with ink and a pretty awkward red paladin sitting at such a comical distance, he could afford a change of plans.

Without standing up, he crawled through the space between them and sat right next to Keith, resting his head on his shoulder.

The first reaction he got was no reaction whatsoever. Just the sensation of a body getting stiff under his touch, tense and cramped within himself like a human knot. Lance limited himself to wait, fingers toying mindlessly with his own helmet, and soon enough the ball of strain beneath his temple was slowly deflating; letting go with a deep, loud sigh. It didn’t take long for exhaustion and fondness to win over pride, and after a few ticks Lance felt the weight of another head on his.

The engine hummed quietly and buzzed within the floor and the walls, soothingly, almost lulling them to sleep. With all the chatter and revelations and the Red Lion incident, neither of them had been able to sleep a blink. And Lance knew the trip was quite short, that they wouldn’t get any proper rest out of it even if they tried. But with the warmth, smell and weight of Keith on him, he was physically unable to care.

For once, ever since he left Earth, he felt at home.