Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter One

A New Life

It's okay. You got this. You made it.

Savannah had said this to herself all summer, and she'd needed to say it more and more lately. She started college tonight. Her emotions were threatening to short circuit. She was sad to leave her family. They hadn't always gotten along. Because Savannah was very soft spoken, her parents had a tendency to forget that she needed their attention, which was at the core of the majority of the arguments they'd had. But for the last few months, with Savannah prepping for college, her parents had focused almost all their attention exclusively on her. She was excited about school starting. She'd won a full scholarship to the Duke University, so her tuition, room and board, and food were completely taken care of. Her father was flying to Raleigh with her that night, and spending a few days with her to help her get settled in. She was nervous. Would she do well at school? Would she make friends? Would she love it? Would she hate it?

Stop it, Savannah thought. Daddy'll be there. It'll be okay. Savannah walked up the front steps, surprised not to see her dad's car in the driveway. She had left to take a walk thirty minutes earlier, and they now had two hours before they needed to leave for the airport. He's probably just getting some last minute 'supplies', Savannah thought with a smile. She had thought her mother would be the one to panic with Savannah moving out of state by herself, but it turned out to be Sam. When she'd teased him about it a few weeks earlier, she'd ended up feeling bad about when he told her why. His own father had kicked him out of the house when he went to college, not wanting him to leave the family.

"I don't want you to leave." Sam had explained. "But I do want you to know that I'm proud of you and I'm always, always here for you."

Savannah went inside, expecting to be bombarded by her mother, asking whether she had everything. Are you sure you've got it? Check again. Do you need this? Do you have enough clothes? But she was only greeted by silence. Savannah checked each room. Her father's suitcase and her own were still packed against the wall. Their tickets were on the bed, as was Sam's wallet and Savannah's small purse. The only person Savannah found in the house was Morgan, her little sister.

"Hey, beanie." Savannah said. "Where's mom and dad?"
"They left a few minutes ago. They said to tell you there's a note for you on the refrigerator."
Savannah froze. "What do you mean they left? Where did they go?"

"I don't know." Morgan said.

There's no way this is happening. Not today. Savannah walked to the kitchen and found the note. It was quickly scribbled down by her father, and she felt her blood boil when she read it.

Savannah, your mom and I decided to go on a last-minute date night. We'll be back late tonight. Make sure Morgan gets dinner. Love you, -Daddy

What earlier had been nervousness and excitement bubbled into a rage Savannah had never experienced before. Hoping that she had her date wrong and that their flight was actually the next day, Savannah went to the bedroom and checked the tickets. Date on the tickets-the 24th. Today's date-the 24th. Savannah could barely form the thoughts necessary to process what had happened. She was leaving for college that night, and her parents had completely forgotten. They'd left her alone to babysit like it was just any other day. She thought about calling them and getting them to come back. No, she decided. If they don't care enough about me not to be here, I don't care enough to tell them goodbye. I'll go myself.

Savannah checked the clock. She needed to be at the airport at least two hours early. She had five before the flight left. So she had three to get a way to the airport. She thought about calling her uncle Dean, but Dean would just tell her father and make him come back home. She decided to write a note to her father explaining what she was about to do, take his credit card and call for a cab to the airport. She found Sam's wallet and was happy to see there was enough cash to cover the cab. She got the cash and put it in her wallet, then took the credit card. She wrote a note to her Dad, wiping angry tears away as she did.

I took enough cash to cover a cab to the airport and your credit card. I'll only use the card to eat tonight, get a room and eat tomorrow, and get anything I'm missing for the room. I should be set after that.

I can't believe you forgot this. I needed you, Daddy. I'm scared and nervous and excited and everything all at once, and I really needed you. But I'm on my way to the airport now. I'll send you a postcard or something once I get there. Don't worry-I don't hate you guys for this. I SHOULD hate you for it, but I don't. I love you guys more than anything. I just wish you felt the same about me. -Love, Savannah

Savannah put the cash and card in her small purse, called for a cab to come in an hour, then put her stuff right by the front door. She had forty-five minutes before the cab got there, so she decided to spend the time saying goodbye to her little sister. She walked back to Morgan's room, where Morgan was still sitting at her desk writing in her journal.

"Hey, Beanie. Can I come in? I need to talk to you."
"Sure, Sissy. What's up?" Morgan asked. She finished her sentence, then looked up and saw that Savannah was crying. "What's wrong?"

Savannah walked in and sat at the end of Morgan's bed. "Dad and I were supposed to fly to Raleigh tonight."
"I thought so. I wondered why they left." Morgan said.

Great. So Morgan remembered what mom and dad couldn't. "Yeah. Um, I need you to do me a big favor."

"What?" Morgan asked.

"I just called a cab and put my stuff by the door. I'm going to the airport myself. I need you not to say anything to anyone. Can you do that?" Savannah asked.

"Don't you want to say bye to mommy and daddy?" Morgan asked.

Yeah, but they don't want to say it to me. "I don't want a long, drawn out goodbye. It's easier this way. Please, Morgan?"
Morgan seemed reluctant, but nodded. "Okay."
"Are you sure? Will you be okay here by yourself for a while?" Savannah asked. "They won't be back until tonight."

"I'll be fine." Morgan said quietly.

"Good." Savannah said. She'd thought about sneaking away from Morgan too, but that wasn't fair to her. "Thank you, Morgan. If there's an emergency or something, call uncle Dean, okay? But after I leave, lock the door and don't let anyone in until mom and dad come home."

Morgan nodded, and suddenly she couldn't look at her sister.

"Hey." Savannah said. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I don't want you to go." Morgan said.

"Aww. Beanie, you're gonna make me cry." Savannah said. "I'll be back before you know it."

"You'll come home, right?" Morgan said. "Even if you're still mad at mommy and daddy?"

"Worst case, I'll be at uncle Dean's." Savannah promised. She didn't know how Morgan had known that she wasn't planning to come back home if she didn't make up with her parents, but she didn't question it. "I'll be home Thanksgiving. Promise."

"Okay." Morgan said. "When do you have to leave?"
"The cab'll be here in a little over a half hour." Savannah said. "Will you just come sit with me in the living room until it gets here?"

Morgan nodded, choking back tears. "Yeah."

"Oh…"
The two girls never made it to the living room. Morgan sat next to her sister and wrapped her arms around Savannah's waist, and they sat just like that until all too soon, the doorbell rang. The cabbie was friendly enough, and helped Savannah load her two suitcases into the cab. Savannah explained she was leaving for college and needed a minute with her baby sister. The cabbie, a slightly older gentleman maybe a few years older than Dean, smiled at them.

"I just sent my son off to college. I get it. Take your time." He then realized what was missing. "Where are your parents?"
"Stuck in traffic." Savannah said at the same time she was thinking Good question. "They're gonna meet me there. My uncle's coming in a few minutes to take care of my little sister."

"Okay." The cabbie said, though it was clear he didn't believe her. He climbed into the front seat and waited.

Savannah turned back to Morgan, who was now crying without restraint. Savannah got on her knees in front of Morgan, who grabbed her big sister and held on like she was afraid she'd never see Savannah again.

"I'll be back, Beanie. I swear, no matter what. I'll be back."

Morgan was crying so hard she could only nod that she understood.

"Hey. Hey, look at me." Morgan took her head off Savannah's shoulder and sniffed hard. Savannah wiped her face, keeping her own tears at bay. "I love you, Beanie. You're the best sister I could have ever gotten. I'll call you as soon as I get there."
Morgan hiccupped and asked, "Swear?"
"Swear." Savannah said. She put a hand on Morgan's heart and said, "Cross my heart."
Morgan returned the gesture. "'Kay. Will you call me before you get there?"

"If I get the time, I'll call you from the airport. Okay? I can't promise that, though."

Morgan nodded. "Okay, Sissy. I'm proud of you."

Savannah's heart hurt at hearing that. She'd dreamt of this moment all summer, and she had pictured it being her mother saying that as she dropped her and her father off at the airport. But she'd take it where she could get it, and she grabbed Morgan again.

"Thank you, Beanie. I needed that." She looked back at the cab. "I have to go."
"I know. Go." Morgan said. "I'll cover for you."

Savannah laughed and said one more time, as she had a hand on the cab's door, "I love you, Beanie."

"Love you, sissy."

With that, Savannah left. She waved at Morgan until she couldn't see her anymore, then turned and took a deep breath. Everything was changing, and she was alone. Savannah pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. She scrolled through her contacts and paused when she got to 'Daddy'. She wondered what he was doing right then. What he and Jess were doing that was possibly more important than she was. She scrolled down a little farther until she got to 'Mommy'. Savannah shook her head when she felt her heart ache again. She couldn't think about them right then. She needed to focus on what she was doing. She was terrified, especially of doing this alone, but apparently she didn't have a choice. When the cab pulled up to the airport, she grabbed her suitcases, double checked that she had everything, paid the cabbie, and walked inside. Before going to check-in, she called to check on Morgan, who insisted she was fine and reminded Savannah to call her. Morgan asked her another question that stopped Savannah in her tracks.

"Sissy? Do you hate mommy and daddy?"

"Why do you ask that?" Savannah asked.

"Because they forgot about this." Morgan said. "I know you're mad, and I don't blame you, but I just don't want you to hate them."

"I don't hate them, Beanie." Savannah said. "I promise I don't. I'm just really hurt right now. I promise I'll talk to them after I get there."
"Swear?"
"Swear." Savannah said. "Beanie, I gotta go check in and go through security. I'm sorry I had to leave you alone. Stay safe tonight, okay? Keep the phone with you and call uncle Dean if you need him."

"I'm not a baby, Sissy. I know what to do."
"I know, Beanie. I love you." Savannah said.

"Love you too."

Savannah hung up the phone and headed to the check-in desk. The airport wasn't busy, so there were only two people in front of her. Savannah got her ID out, then headed to the short, friendly, redhaired young woman at the counter.

"Checking in?"

"Yes, ma'am. Savannah Winchester."

Chapter Text

Second Thoughts

Dean and Lisa were blissfully unaware of what was going on at Sam's. Ben was in his room, as usual, so the two of them were enjoying a rare night alone. They knew that Savannah was on her way to college, but they had celebrated with her earlier in the week. They kept their phones on, in case she wanted to call, but had full and complete faith she was with her father. A faith that was about to be shattered. Dean's cell rang, and, annoyed at the interruption, he checked the caller ID. It was Savannah. Lisa told him to answer the phone, talk to Savannah, and then they'd be able to get back to their night.

"Hey, baby girl. You guys at the airport?"

"Uncle Dean?"

Savannah's voice broke in a way that scared Dean out of his annoyance and made him nearly jump off the couch. "Savannah? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm, um, I'm at the airport."

"Where's your dad?" Dean asked.
"I'm alone."

Surely I didn't hear that right. "You're what?"
"I'm alone. Mom and Daddy forgot. They left to have a date night."

"Savannah, what are you talking about?" Dean asked. Savannah told him the whole story, and Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Son of a bitch."

Lisa, who had gone to the kitchen to get a glass of water, heard Dean curse into the phone. "Dean? What's wrong?"

"Savannah, hang on a second honey, okay? What time does your flight leave?"

"I've still got more than an hour." Savannah said.

"Okay. Listen up. Get somewhere safe, okay? I'll call you right back." Dean swore. "Keep your phone on you."

"Okay."

"Everything's gonna be okay, kid. Promise." Dean said as he hung up the phone.

"Dean? What? Talk to me." Lisa said.

Dean gripped his phone hard enough his knuckles were turning white. "Sam forgot that he and Savannah were supposed to leave tonight."

"How the hell did he forget that?" Lisa practically screamed. "It's all they've been talking about for weeks."

"I don't know. But I'll for sure be kicking his ass for it tonight." Dean said.

"Where's Savannah?"
Dean actually laughed at that. "She got pissed at Sam for forgetting, so she took cash out of his wallet and his credit card and went to the airport. She's already checked in and through security for her flight."

Lisa's eyes bulged. "What…?"

"Yeah." Dean took a breath.

"What should we do? Should we go pick her up?"

Dean thought about that for a minute. "No."
"Dean…"
"Savannah'll be fine. She's already there and on her way. I'll tell her what to do, and tell her to call me every step of the way. If we go pick her up now, by the time she gets another flight, it may be too late to get there in time." Dean explained. "Trust me, I don't like it either, but we have to have faith in her."

"Okay." Lisa said, though she clearly couldn't stand the idea.

"I'm going to call Savannah back. Can you go pick up Morgan? Bring her back here?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. I got it." Lisa said. "Wait. Where are Jess and Sam?"
"Savannah said something about a date night, that they'd be back later tonight."

"Yeah. I'll go get her. Let me know what happens." Lisa said, picking up her car keys.

"I will." Dean dialed Savannah's number, and she answered on the second ring.

"Uncle Dean?"

"Hey, baby girl. You okay?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Savannah said. "Can you guys go get Morgan?"

"We're already on it." Dean said. "You got money on you, baby girl?"
"Just Daddy's credit card." Savannah answered. "He's gonna be so mad at me for taking it…"
"Baby girl, the last thing that you need to worry about right now is your dad being mad at you. You're right, you shouldn't have taken it without permission, but you left a note and told him why. I won't let him get on you about this." Dean said.

"Uncle Dean, what do I do? I can't move into the dorm for another couple of days…"
"Slow down, baby girl. I'm gonna tell you, okay? But you have to be calm. Take some deep breaths." When Savannah was finally breathing normally, Dean continued. "Do you remember if your dad made hotel reservations?"
"I don't know." Savannah said.

"Okay. Listen to me. Do you have your tablet with you?"

"Yeah."

"Use the time on the plane to book yourself a room for tonight and tomorrow. Use your dad's card to pay for it and for a cab there from the airport. Can you handle that?" Dean asked.

"Yeah." Savannah answered.
"Okay. And text me. Every step of the way. When you board, when you turn the phone off, when you land, when you're off the plane in the airport, when you've got your bags…you get the drift?" Dean asked.

"Got it." Savannah said.
"When you're at the room, call me. We'll talk more then. Don't be scared, baby girl. You can do this." Dean said.

"I'm not worried about all that, uncle Dean." Savannah said.

"Then what?" Dean asked, even though he already knew.

"They forgot." Savannah said, barely stifling a sob. "I thought I mattered to them. They did this again."

Dean's heart broke. "I know, baby girl. I know. Trust me, when I get my hands on your dad, he's toast."

"I didn't want to be alone for this." Savannah said. "I needed him."

"Savannah Marie Winchester, listen to me." Dean said. "I don't care what happens. I don't care how I have to do it. I'll drive there myself if I have to. But I swear to you, you will not be alone this weekend. Do you hear me?"

Savannah felt weight lift off her shoulders, enough to make her smile. "Thank you, uncle Dean."
"You're welcome, kiddo. I love you. Call me back if you need to. I don't care what time it is." Dean said. "Go get you something to eat."

"I will. I love you too."

When Dean hung up the phone, he fought the urge to throw and break his phone. Savannah would need him again, and that was the only thing making him keep his temper. Dean suddenly got an idea. He called Ben into the room to help him, and forty-five minutes later, Dean was on his way out the door. Dean had bought two tickets to RDU for later that night, and, with luck, Sam and Jess would be able to meet Savannah at her room early the next morning. Ben had tracked down the position of Sam's cell phone, and Dean sped away towards them. He found them almost an hour after hanging up the phone with Savannah. As he parked the Impala, Dean saw them. Sam and Jess were sitting on a blanket together at the other end of the lake. Sam had his arms around Jess, laughing and smiling at something Jess was saying, as if nothing was wrong. It pissed Dean off. He had a hand on his door handle when his cell phone went off again.

"Hey, baby girl. You on the plane?"

"Yeah. We're about to take off." Savannah said. "Did you find Daddy?"

"I did. I'm about to go talk to him now." Dean said. "But you've got to go."
"Yeah." Savannah said.

"Be safe, baby girl. I love you, okay?"

"I love you too, uncle Dean. Will you tell mom and Daddy I love them too?" Savannah asked.

"I will. See you soon, baby girl."

"Bye, uncle Dean."

Dean's phone beeped and Savannah hung up. As Dean snapped his phone shut, he suddenly felt a deep sense of foreboding. His stomach tightened painfully, and he was worried. Mistaking the feeling for anger, Dean got out of the car and headed towards Sam and Jess just as Savannah was listening to the flight safety instructions. Less than two hours later, Dean would be wishing that his biggest problem was dealing with Sam.

Chapter Text

Mimosa Pudica

A/N: Just in case you're wondering where I got the weird chapter name-Mimosa pudica, also known as the 'sensitive plant', is a plant that curls up into itself when you touch it. Google it-it's pretty cool to see!

After the plane took off, Savannah snuck her cell phone out of her pocket, set it on airplane mode, and flipped through her photos. The majority of them were of her family. Her mom, her dad, her sister, her aunt and uncle. Savannah's sadness had never been more profound. She wanted to think about all the happy memories she had with her parents. Birthday parties, watching movies, snuggling in bed together during a thunderstorm. But all her brain would allow her to think about was all the times her parents had forgotten her. After Morgan's birth when she'd spent weeks thinking they didn't love her. Forgetting her birthday. Not letting her tell her story when she got in a fight with Morgan. Not picking her up from school one day, and having to be driven home by the principal. Not going on a promised camping trip. Today was the last straw, Savannah thought.

The plane had been in the air for just under five minutes. It wasn't a very big plane. Savannah had one seatmate next to her, a girl about her own age. Savannah noted with a smile that they looked pretty similar-same color hair, around the same height, same color eyes. The girl next to her was nervous though. She was sitting next to the window but was avoiding looking out of it. Needing to distract herself, Savannah decided to talk to her.

"Going on vacation?"

The girl jumped a little and turned to look at her. "What?"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I asked if you were going on vacation."

"Oh. No. I'm actually going home. I'm from Durham." The girl said. "My parents sent me to Little Rock to spend some time with family."
"Really? I'm moving to Durham. I start at Duke University next week." Savannah said. She offered her hand to her new friend. "I'm Savannah."

"Rachel." Rachel reached over and took her hand. "Are you flying to college on your own?"

"Yeah." Savannah said. "My parents were supposed to come with me, but something came up."

"Oh. That stinks. I'm sorry."

Savannah shrugged. "Oh, well. So, tell me about Durham."

The two girls talked for a few minutes. Rachel still seemed a little nervous, so Savannah reached into her bag and pulled her stuffed rabbit, Carrot, out and handed it to her. Rachel held it tightly, and the two girls continued to talk. For a few brief, wonderful minutes, Savannah forgot about how hurt she was with her parents.

The trouble started a half hour later. The plane had been travelling for no more than forty minutes, and Savannah knew they still had quite a long way to go. The plane suddenly dropped, and a collective gasp was heard throughout the cabin. Rachel instinctively grabbed Savannah's hand. The plane leveled out and stayed level. After a minute, Rachel looked over at Savannah, who was still holding her hand.

"You okay?" Savannah asked.
"Yeah. Sorry." Rachel said, pulling her hand back. "I promise I don't usually grab stranger's hands like that."

"It's okay." Savannah said. "My uncle would have been screaming like a baby if he'd been here for that."

"I told my parents I didn't want to fly by myself. Maybe I'll tell them that's why." Rachel said.

"Just make sure you don't tell mine…"

Before Savannah could get her thought out, all hell broke loose. The plane dropped rapidly again, and this time it didn't stop. Savannah grabbed Rachel's hand this time. All Savannah could hear was screaming around her. The plane fell faster and faster, and they held each other tighter the longer it fell. Both girls were crying, though the pandemonium around them meant they couldn't hear each other, even though there was virtually no distance between them. Savannah heard a loud crash and the sound of metal and glass breaking. She heard another loud snap, different from the sounds of the plane, and when she felt a sharp, breathtaking pain in her leg, she realized the snap had been her leg breaking in two. Her last thought before the world went dark was the plane's crashing, and I'm going to die alone.

Chapter Text

The Walls Come Tumbling Down

A/N: I don't have a clue how it works with contacting families after a plane crash. I am 100% guessing here with that.

As Savannah was forming her friendship with Rachel, Dean was giving Sam a tongue lashing unlike any he'd ever heard. Sam had honestly believed the flight was on the 25th, not the 24th, and his intention was to just spend some time with Jess before having to leave the next day. Once he'd realized that Dean was right, that he'd missed the flight and Savannah was alone, he'd resisted the urge to yell back at Dean for letting Savannah fly by herself. He and Jess had to get going if they were going to make the flight that Dean had booked for them.

The three of them floored it back to Sam's in their two cars. Dean told Sam to throw his suitcase in the Impala. He had told Lisa his plan before leaving to get Sam, and he was ecstatic to see that she and Morgan had taken the initiative to pack Jess's suitcase for her. As Sam checked the bedroom to make sure they didn't need anything else, he saw the note that Savannah had left for them.

I took enough cash to cover a cab to the airport and your credit card. I'll only use the card to eat tonight, get a room and eat tomorrow, and get anything I'm missing for the room. I should be set after that.

I can't believe you forgot this. I needed you, Daddy. I'm scared and nervous and excited and everything all at once, and I really needed you. But I'm on my way to the airport now. I'll send you a postcard or something once I get there. Don't worry-I don't hate you guys for this. I SHOULD hate you for it, but I don't. I love you guys more than anything. I just wish you felt the same about me. -Love, Savannah

Sam's knees buckled. This had been an honest mistake. He'd mixed up his days. But he realized there was no way to convince Savannah of that. All she saw was that her daddy had forgotten her when she needed him. Again. He felt a tear threatening to fall at the edge of his eye, but a voice in the doorway scared him out of his thoughts.

"Sam! Come on, let's go!" Dean said.

"Sorry." Sam replied, folding up Savannah's note. "Coming."
"What's that?" Dean asked when he saw the look on Sam's face.

Sam handed him the note, and Dean felt some of his anger be replaced by sympathy. He knew Sam wasn't a bad father. He loved both of his children; he'd die for either of them. He just tended to get so wrapped up in the fact that he finally had the life he wanted that he would forget the minute details of what his kids needed. Because Morgan was more outspoken than Savannah, Savannah tended to be the one that fell through the cracks. Dean placed a hand on Sam's arm.

"Let's go prove her wrong." He said simply.

Sam nodded and headed out into the living room with Dean. Morgan and Jess were arguing.

"Why didn't you stop her, Morgan?"

"Why are you mad at me?" Morgan responded. "You're the one that forgot!"

"Both of you stop." Sam said firmly. "Jess, this isn't Morgan's fault. It's ours."

Sam handed Jess the note, and Dean started to take Jess's suitcase to the car. Jess was wiping her face and turning to apologize and say goodbye to Morgan when Sam's phone rang. Sam didn't think about it in the moment, but he would look back later and realize that he never should have been able to answer that call. His cell phone always rang four times and then went straight to voicemail. But it was on its twelfth ring when Sam picked it up. He didn't recognize the number, but answered anyway. He stepped just out of range of where the rest of the family could hear his conversation.

"Hello?"

"Samuel Winchester?" An unfamiliar male voice said on the other side.

"Yes?" Sam asked.

"Are you the father of Savannah Marie Winchester?"

Sam's heart went to his stomach. "Yes, I'm her father. Who is this?"

"Sir, my name is agent Malone with the National Transportation Safety Board. I'm calling to inform you that the flight your daughter boarded tonight has crashed."
All the breath went out of Sam. "Excuse me?"

"Sir, I'm sorry to tell you, but her flight crashed just outside of Nashville, Tennessee." Agent Malone repeated.

"Wh…wh…where…where is she?" Sam asked.

"I'm afraid we don't know that yet, sir. Most of the passengers are still missing. Rescue crews are still working. If you can, you need to get Jackson Memorial Hospital in Nashville as soon as possible."

"We'll be there." Sam said, fighting back panic. "If you find her…"

"We'll call you straight away."
Sam didn't even bother to say anything. He snapped the phone shut and shoved it back into his pocket. Dean was about to tell him to hurry up, when he saw that all the color had drained out of Sam's face. Jess was telling Morgan she was sorry one more time, giving her one more hug, and telling her again to behave for uncle Dean and aunt Lisa. Sam finally gained back his courage and said,

"Change of plans. We're not going to Raleigh."
"Sam? What are you talking about?" Jess asked. She too then noticed the look on his face. "What's wrong? Who was that on the phone?"
Sam walked to her and placed one hand on either of her shoulders. "You need to stay calm when I tell you this. I'm gonna need you to work my cell phone while I'm driving."
"Driving, what are you talking about?" Jess asked.

"Sam, what is it?" Dean asked.

"Savannah's plane crashed."

For exactly two seconds, no one said anything. Morgan was the first. "Is she okay?"

"We don't know…"
"What do you mean we don't know?" Jess yelled. "Sam, where's our baby?"
"Jess…" Sam said, grabbing her arms firmly. "Listen to me. You can not panic. We don't know anything right now. We have to get to Nashville now. I need you to use my phone while I drive."
"No way, Sam. You're not driving." Dean said. He turned to Lisa. "Can you keep Morgan?"
"No way! I wanna go too!" Morgan protested.

"Morgan, listen to me." Sam said. He let go of a still trembling Jess and bent down to Morgan. Lisa grabbed Jess in a hug as Sam talked to Morgan. "I know you want to go. But me and mommy have to go look for Savannah. We can't do that and worry about you too."

"I won't get in the way, Daddy, please…" Morgan begged.

"NO!" Sam shouted, then immediately regretted it. He shut his eyes and took a breath. "Morgan, I'm sorry. The answer's no. I know you're worried, but you have to stay here with aunt Lisa."

"She's my sister." Morgan said pitifully, in a desperate attempt to get Sam to change his mind.

"I know, baby." Sam said. "I do. But I need you to stay here. I promise you, me, mommy, and uncle Dean will find your Sissy. I don't care how long it takes, we will find her."

Morgan gave up her fight. "Okay, Daddy."

"Okay. We have to go. Now. Give me a hug?"

Morgan shared one more hug with her mom and dad, and everyone was out the door. It was a several hour drive to Nashville. The sun was going down now, and Dean was determined to make it there well before the sun came up. Dean's own guilt was about to crush him. He had given Savannah permission to take the flight, and now she was missing. He channeled his guilt into driving the Impala, praying that he wouldn't be pulled over before they got there.

"We're coming, baby girl." Dean said. "Hang on for us. We're coming."

Chapter Text

Chaos in the Destruction

The paramedic did her best to block out the sounds around her. If she didn't, she wouldn't be able to work. No one she was working on would ever know her name, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt when she couldn't help them. She focused on helping the people she could help, and not beating herself up for the ones she couldn't. Making herself do this wouldn't stop her from having the nightmares later that night, but she couldn't worry about that now either. Near her, she saw movement, movement that wasn't fire, debris, or another paramedic. One of the passengers was trying to move. On instinct, she ran to the girl. The girl couldn't have been more than eighteen. She had tears running down her face. There was blood on her, though the paramedic couldn't clearly tell whether it all belonged to her or not. The girl was clearly in pain, so the paramedic reached out and grabbed her hand.

"Whoa. Don't move, sweetie. We don't know how bad you're hurt, so you need to stay still until we can move you out of here, okay?" When the girl moaned, the paramedic grabbed her hand. "I know you're hurting. We'll do everything we can to make you feel better. Can you tell me your name?"

"R…Rachel…" The girl said.

"Okay, Rachel, we're gonna take care of you. Don't focus on anything else, just my voice, okay?"

"Hurts." Rachel said, gripping the paramedic's hand.

"I know, sweetie." The paramedic said. Her grip's strong. Great sign. "My name's Amanda. Just focus on my voice."

"Rachel…" Rachel said again.

"I know, Rachel, I know. We'll get you out of here. Just hang on, baby." Amanda said. "STRETCHER!" Amanda shouted over her shoulder.

"Want. My. Mom…"

"Listen to me, Rachel. We have to get you to the hospital right now. Once we get you there, they will work on finding your mom. But you have to hang on, okay? Let us take care of you, and I promise you'll see your mom."

Amanda loaded Rachel into the chopper. By the time she hit the side of it to signal to the pilot it was time to leave for the hospital, Rachel was unconscious again. Amanda didn't even watch the chopper leave, she just turned around and went to look for more survivors. What she found broke her heart. In the seat next to Rachel was another young girl, who looked to be about the same age. Her eyes were still tightly shut, like she had closed them when the plane started to drop. Amanda knew it wasn't likely, but she checked the pulse of the other girl. There was nothing there. Amanda triple checked, praying to find even a faint sign of life. When she didn't find it, Amanda stroked the girl's cheek.

"We'll get you home too, baby. We'll get you home too."

Amanda's attention was taken off the other girl when she heard a scream from a few feet away. She took care of that passenger, and when she stood up to go get some water and catch her breath for a second, something caught her eye. It was a few yards away from where she'd found Rachel and the other, so far unidentified girl. She couldn't touch it because it was evidence, and she didn't even know what made her take a look at it. A small purse. On the ground next to the purse was a credit card with the name Sam Winchester. A few feet away from the purse was a small stuffed bunny. Amanda didn't remember there being any small children on the plane, but she didn't have time to think about it as she was called away yet again.

Chapter Text

The World Spins, But Not in the Right Way

A/N: Kleenex alert. Just saying….

They had left their house in Little Rock twelve hours earlier. Dean had driven like a bat out of hell, an expression the two brothers probably understood better than most other people in the world. Sam had spent the trip alternating between comforting a distraught Jess, talking to an upset Morgan, and calling back and forth to the hospital. Agent Malone never called him back, and Sam was afraid to take that as either good news or bad. Sam felt like he was taking shallow breaths, but not by his own choice. He was afraid to breathe normally. If he did, he felt his heart would constrict and he'd panic, and he wouldn't be able to do what he needed to. Someone had to be alert enough to be contacted when they found Savannah. The thought crossed his mind for a half second that they might not find Savannah, but Sam banished that thought and wouldn't allow himself to think it; if he did, he was absolutely sure he would panic.

Now, they were in the middle of a hospital waiting room with other family members of people on the plane. A few of them were trying to make conversation, but Sam had brushed them off. Being polite didn't matter to him right now. He looked down at Jess, who was lying down with her head in his lap. He was jealous of her. He was exhausted, and wanted to sleep so badly, but he was afraid to. He was afraid he'd close his eyes, and wake up to bad news. But what was really keeping him awake was the guilt. Savannah's note was burned into his brain. I SHOULD hate you for it, but I don't. I love you guys more than anything. I just wish you felt the same about me. -Love, Savannah

Sam did feel the same way. And he wondered where they'd gotten off track letting Savannah know. He had never intentionally forgotten her. But all the times that he had forgotten her were running through his mind in a loop now. The first thing that came to mind when Sam thought of Morgan was a smile. All he could picture when he thought of Savannah was tears. Dean broke Sam out of his wallowing with a shout.

"What the hell is going on!?"

Before Sam could say anything, a short, middle aged, slightly balding man wearing an NTSB vest came into the room. "Mr. and Mrs. Lucas? Will you come with me, please?"

One of the other couples in the room, a few years older than Sam and Jess, were escorted out of the room. Sam heard the agent murmur to them, and watched as the mother smiled and grabbed her husband around the neck. They came back into the waiting room and quickly gathered their belongings. The wife suddenly grabbed her husband's arm, whispered something in his ear, and then whispered something to the agent. The agent nodded, said something into his radio, and the wife came back into the room.

"I'm sorry. But may I ask-are you family members of someone from the plane crash?"

Sam nodded slowly. "Yes. Our daughter's still missing."

"My husband and I, we're from Durham, right outside of Raleigh. Our daughter's been airlifted to Duke Hospital. We're on our way there now."

"That's great." Sam said, though he didn't mean it.

"I just wanted to tell you this. We weren't expecting to find our daughter so quickly. So we made room reservations at the motel across the street. Agent Malone notified the motel. They're holding the room for you if you need it."

Sam softened slightly at the unexpected generosity. "Thank you." He whispered, trying not to wake up Jess.

"What's your daughter's name?"

"Savannah." Sam answered simply; he'd wanted to say her full name, but his voice broke.

"That's a very pretty name. We'll be praying for Savannah." The wife said. "I sincerely hope you find your daughter."

"Thanks." Sam said.

The wife left, and Sam was left alone. He focused all his attention on Jess. Dean had gone down the hall to get a cup of coffee. A doctor came inside, and Sam noted that he looked dismal. Sam knew what was about to happen, but he didn't allow himself to believe it. He couldn't. Life just wasn't that cruel.

"Mr. Winchester? May I speak to you?"

"Is it about my daughter?" Sam asked. The doctor nodded sadly. "Do you have a pillow or something I can put under my wife's neck?"

The doctor grabbed a pillow from the next room and brought it to him. Sam very carefully placed it under Jess, and, gratefully, she didn't wake up. Sam stepped out with the doctor. Dean came back to the waiting room to find Jess sitting up, dazed and exhausted, and no Sam. He handed Jess the second cup of coffee in his hand just as Sam walked back inside. The look on his face scared Dean. It was utterly devoid of anything other than despair. His whole face shone with tears. At Sam's request, the doctor that had come earlier stood at the door. Sam ignored Dean, who watched him take his seat next to Jess.

"Sam?" Jess said. "Sam, what? What is it?"

"Savannah's gone." Sam whispered. "She's gone."

The world kept spinning, but from that moment, at least for Dean, it didn't spin the right way. He and Sam had lost people before; it was a fact of their life. But never had the loss punched a hole like this. Dean expected Jess to become hysterical. Instead, she did something worse. She cried a little, but mostly stared at the wall, catatonic. Sam tried to get her to talk, but Jess refused. Dean became the first one to explode. The doctor tried to gently pressure them into deciding what to do with Savannah's body, which earned him being slammed against the wall by Dean and told that he would give Sam and Jess twelve hours to get their head on straight 'or else'. He left the 'or else' to the doctor's imagination, and took Sam and Jess to their motel room across the street. He left them lying on the bed, Sam holding onto Jess. Before he stepped outside, he asked,

"Do you guys want me and Lisa to tell Morgan?"

Jess said nothing, and after nearly a full minute of complete silence, Sam answered, "Yeah. I just…I can't. I can't say it. Not again."

"I got it, little brother. I'm right outside if you need me, okay?"

Sam nodded, and Dean stepped out. There was a stairway railing right in front of Sam's room, which Dean had to lean on for support. He heard Savannah's voice going through his head. Heard her laughing, saw her running to him for a hug, and he felt like the pain would kill him when he realized that he'd never get to experience any of that again. It took what felt like a long time to regain enough control of his emotions to sit on the top step and dial Lisa's number. He finally said out loud what he'd afraid to say since they'd left the hospital nearly an hour earlier.

"Lisa. Savannah's dead."

A/N: This is NOT IT! Next chapter: Sam and Jess both come out of their shock, and fight over what bad parents they've been to Savannah.

Chapter Text

The Hours After

Time slipped, slithered, and crawled. Dean helped Lisa have the conversation with Morgan, who begged to talk to her parents. Sam stepped outside and talked to her, ending the conversation by promising again that they were coming home soon and they’d bring Savannah home with them. She wanted to talk to Jess, but Sam told her Jess was asleep and she’d have to wait until later. After hanging up with Morgan, Dean waited for Sam to go back in the room with Jess, but he didn’t. He handed Dean his cell phone and leaned against the railing. Dean took the opportunity to really look at Sam. There seemed to be nothing left of him. He was only going through the motions now. Dean wondered if he was thinking about suicide and if Jess and Morgan were the only reason he didn’t. That thought actually scared Dean in a way that a lot of things didn’t, so he finally spoke up.

“Talk to me, man. What’s up with you?”

Sam swallowed. “Jess is asleep.”

“I’m talking about you. What’s up with you?” Dean repeated.

“I can’t…” Sam said, then stopped, taking a deep breath to stop the sharp pain going through his chest. “I can’t think of me right now.”

“Why not?” Dean asked.

“Because if I do, it’ll kill me.” Sam said.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked, trying hard to get Sam talking.

Sam was fighting tears all over again. He closed his eyes exhaled hard, then pointed to his chest and said to Dean, “This hurts, man.”

Dean nodded.

“It hurts, and I can’t…Damn it, Dean, I’ll take a bullet, a ghost, a werewolf, any of that right now. This…This hurts like hell, Dean. I feel like half my heart’s been ripped out of my chest. I can’t breathe, I can’t think…” Sam said. “How can we move on from here?”

“Sam?”

Sam turned and saw Jess in the doorway. Dean had thought Sam looked bad, but Jess looked close to a breakdown. She was pale and still shaking. Sam got up and walked over to her, trying to give her a hug. For the first time in the decades that Dean had known Jess, Jess didn’t respond to Sam’s touch. She didn’t stiffen up and walk away or lean into him at all, she just stood there and stared out into the parking lot like she was waiting for something. Once Sam realized he wasn’t going to get anywhere trying to get Jess to talk right then, he followed her back inside the room. Dean was lost as to what to do now. He felt intrusive walking in on the two of them, but he also felt bad leaving them alone. Despite both Sam and Jess saying they weren’t hungry, Dean left to get the three of them food. Once he was gone, Sam stood against the wall and cautiously tried to talk again.

“Morgan wants to talk to you.”

Jess chuckled bitterly. “Well, I guess I’m gonna have to let her down too.”

The tone of her voice made Sam think to himself Is she trying to start a fight? “What does that mean?” Sam asked.

Jess’s head snapped up and she looked at Sam with a fierce anger that jarred him. Gone was the shocked, catatonic Jess of earlier, to be replaced with the angry, bitter person in front of him. But this anger was different than any he’d ever seen from her. Sam had seen Jess lose her patience with the girls on occasion, but this anger was venomous and directed at him.

“Isn’t that what we do? Let our kids down?”

“Look, I know we messed up with Savannah, but she knew we loved her…” Sam said, wishing that he actually believed what he was telling her.

Jess scoffed. “She knew? Really? Because this” Jess pulled Savannah’s note out from her pocket, “says differently, Sam!”

“I know.” Sam said, looking down at the floor. “I know.”

“We screwed up. We screwed up so bad. And we can’t fix it now.” Jess said. “We’re out of chances.”

Finally, Sam felt his own temper flare. “Don’t you think I know that?!? ‘I should hate you for this, but I don’t. I love you guys more than anything. I just wish you felt the same about me?’ Do you think I don’t realize my own part in this?”

“It’s not all your fault…” “The hell it isn’t, Jess! It was my stupid mistake that made Savannah leave and get on that plane…” Sam argued.

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

Sam stopped, the momentum of his argument leaving him immediately. “What?”

“I’m glad you didn’t get on that plane. Don’t you realize if you had…?”

“But Savannah died alone.” Sam said.

“And if you had gotten on that plane, you’d be dead too.” Jess said. “I hate the fact that she was alone, and I’ll blame myself for that till the day I die, but if you had been on that plane, and I’d lost both of you…” Jess stopped, her hands flying to her mouth as she realized what she was saying. “God, I’m the worst mother in the world.”

“No.” Sam said, finally moving from the wall and taking a seat next to Jess. “No, you’re not. We both made a mistake.” “A mistake?” Jess said. The emotional walls she’d tried to build up were coming down, and she was crying more. When she calmed a little, she continued. “You know, I used to think that the worst thing that could happen to us was losing one of the girls.”

“Feels like the worst to me right now.” “No. No, you know what’s worse? Our baby died thinking that we don’t care about her. That was the last thing she was thinking. That’s worse to me.” Jess said. “And now we won’t even get to tell her that when we should have been helping her get to school, we were talking about her the entire time.”

Sam was silent; he couldn’t really argue with her.

Suddenly Jess started to hyperventilate. “Oh my God, Sam, what have we done?”

“Hey, hey.” Sam said, reaching over to hold her.

Jess sobbed bitterly into Sam’s shoulder. “She’s gone, Sam.” She got out through her cries. “What are we gonna do now?”

Sam didn’t answer her right away, but finally said, “We’ll do better. We’ll take Morgan and make sure we don’t make the same mistakes with her.”

Jess didn’t answer, just held on to Sam as if he’d float away. When she was down to only the occasional sniffle, Sam decided to broach the subject of going to see Savannah again. He wouldn’t be able to make all the decisions they needed to make by himself. He knew Dean would help, up to and including making every decision for him if Sam asked, but Sam knew if they didn’t do this themselves they’d eventually regret it.

“Babe, we need to…”

            Agent Malone ran across the street as fast as he could. He’d gone through the hospital looking for the Winchesters with a fury he’d never felt before. Agent Malone had, more than once, had to inform parents that their children were dead. But this was a first, and he was glad to take it. He’d finally tracked the Winchesters to the motel across the street, and he eagerly ran to the room they were staying in. Just as he was about to bang on the door, the brother, Dean, was coming up the walk with a bag of food in his hand.

“Agent?”

“Is your brother in the room?” Agent Malone asked. “I have to see him.”

“He should be…” Agent Malone didn’t let Dean answer, just proceeded to bang three quick times on the door. “Mr. Winchester! It’s agent Malone! I have to talk to you!”

Sam quickly came to the door. “Agent Malone?” “Yes. Please let me in. I have to talk to you and your wife.”

Sam stepped away from the door and the agent walked in. Dean followed, both of them not sure what to make of the smile on agent Malone’s face. Dean placed the bag of food on the table and asked,

“Is this about the crash?” “Yes. I have news. Do you remember the couple that left the waiting room right before the doctor came to tell you guys about Savannah?” Agent Malone asked. “The Lucases?”

“Yes.” Sam said simply.

“There was some kind of mix up. Rachel, their daughter, had to be sent into surgery when she got to Duke, so they didn’t get to see her right away. When they were finally allowed to go see her, they said that she wasn’t their daughter.”

“What does that mean?” Jess asked, but Sam and Dean were putting the picture together at virtually the same time.

“Wait, didn’t you say the girl that was picked up was sitting next to Savannah?” Dean asked.

“That’s what we thought.” Agent Malone said.

“So…” Sam asked, running his hand through his hair, “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“I’ve got a chopper waiting for you at the hospital. I can’t confirm until you two get to Duke and positively ID her. But I think Savannah’s alive.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Eight

Too Good to be True?

A/N: I would like to include another disclaimer here. Duke University and Duke Memorial Hospital are real places. I’m from the are Duke is located in, and I very highly respect both institutions. However, the character names in this story are completely made up. Any similarity to anyone at either place is purely coincidental.

            The next two hours went by in a haze. Dean stayed behind at the motel room, deciding to go back and get Morgan if indeed it was Savannah in the hospital. Dean sat on the bed, fighting the urge to call Lisa and tell her what was going on. He didn’t want to get her hopes up just in case it wasn’t true. But if it wasn’t true, Dean dreaded what would happen when Sam and Jess’s dream was crushed. He decided to do something he wasn’t good at. He decided to hope. Hope that Savannah was alive and would at least eventually be okay. Maybe for once it really would all turn out for good.

            At the hospital, Sam and Jess were ushered off the plane and into the hospital building by a doctor. Once they were inside, the doctor pulled them aside and explained what was about to happen.

“Alright, Mr. and Mrs. Winchester, I’m Dr. Jessup. I know you’re anxious to get to your daughter, but I need to talk to you both first. Let’s go to my office for a few minutes.”

Reluctantly, Sam and Jess both followed him. Once they were seated, an eager Sam asked, “Where’s our daughter?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you two about. First of all, agent Malone told me that he let you know she was in surgery.” Dr. Jessup said.

“Yes. Why was that?” Sam asked.

“When she arrived, we saw some signs of internal bleeding. We tried to test her to find where it was happening, but we couldn’t find it, so we took her in for exploratory surgery.” Dr. Jessup explained.

“Did you find anything?” Jess asked.

“No. The surgeon was thorough, he found no internal bleeding. The only thing he found was a bruised rib.”

“Okay.” Sam said. “What else?”

“She has a broken leg. Considering how hard the plane crashed, the leg break could have been much worse. It’s pretty clean, and we’ve put a cast on it. It should heal in six weeks or less.” Jess took a shuddering breath, and Sam took her hand to steady her. Dr. Jessup continued. “She has some cuts, some of which needed to be stitched up, and some bruising.”
“Those all sound…not so bad.” Sam said, wondering if he was hearing the doctor correctly.

Dr. Jessup finally smiled. “I know this sounds strange to hear, but your daughter is incredibly fortunate. Other than the broken leg, she seems to just have minor injuries. Physically, there’s no reason she shouldn’t make a complete recovery in a couple of months.”

“Seems to?” Sam asked. “You don’t know for sure?”

“I’d like to keep her here for a few days. The injuries themselves are minor, but with the number of them, I just want to observe her, make sure there’s no unforeseen complications. The biggest thing I’m worried about is the fact that we don’t know if she hit her head when the plane hit the ground.”

“She could have brain damage?” Sam asked in a whisper.

“I won’t sugarcoat it, that is a distinct possibility. She’s been out of anesthesia for a few minutes. She woke up for around thirty seconds, but she was still way too groggy to be comprehensible. So we’ll have to try and test her again when she’s more fully awake.” Dr. Jessup said.

“If you think it’s necessary, it’s okay with us.” Jess said, looking to Sam, who nodded in agreement.

“All right, then. Do you two have any other questions?”

“I do.” Sam said. “What caused the misidentification? Why was she identified as Rachel Lucas?”

Dr. Jessup’s smile disappeared. “I wondered about that myself, so I asked agent Malone to look into it. It looks like when the paramedic picked up Savannah, assuming it is Savannah, in the field, she asked what her name was. Savannah kept answering ‘Rachel’. The paramedic told the chopper pilot that, who reported it to the NTSB agents. Agent Malone checked the passenger list, and saw Rachel was sitting next to Savannah. He checked the IDs of both girls, and saw that they looked pretty similar.”
“Why would she tell them her name was Rachel?” Jess asked.

“Victims at scenes like that are often confused. It’s understandable; they’re in pain, there’s lights, sirens, people all around them they don’t know. They don’t know where they are or may not even know what’s going on. She may not have been answering the paramedic’s question, she may have been trying to ask if Rachel was okay.” Dr. Jessup explained.

Jess and Sam nodded, and an anxious Sam asked, “Doctor? Can we see her now?”
“Sure. If you two don’t mind, I’d like to wake her up myself first. Let her get her bearings for a moment, then tell her that you’re here for her.” Jess and Sam both murmured ‘okay’, and Dr. Jessup continued, “And I know you’re anxious for a hug. I get that. But be gentle. Even though her injuries are minor, and she has been given painkillers, she’ll probably still be in some pain.”

“She hasn’t been out of surgery long. Won’t she still be unconscious?” Sam asked.

“No. Like I said, she came out of the anesthesia just fine. She’s just sleeping right now. The poor kid’s beyond exhausted.” Dr. Jessup said. “You ready?”

            Jess and Sam nodded eagerly, and they were off down the hall again. Time had stopped now, and Sam felt that his heart had stopped with it. He couldn’t allow himself to hope this was Savannah. If it wasn’t, then he and Jess were headed towards a cataclysmic disappointment, and Sam would have to be there for Jess if that happened. They reached a room, and the patient’s name on the door was marked ‘Jane Doe’. They walked inside and stayed in the doorway as Dr. Jessup approached the bed. The girl in the bed was turned towards the window with her back facing the door, so Sam and Jess couldn’t see her right away. Dr. Jessup gently touched her shoulder and shook her slightly.

“Wake up, sweetheart.” The girl moaned a little, but didn’t wake up. “Wake up, sweetie.”
The girl opened her eyes and looked up at the doctor.

“Hi. I’m Dr. Jessup. We met when I took you off the helicopter. Do you remember me?”

The girl nodded.

“Do you remember what happened to you?”

The girl nodded again.

“Okay. I need you to do something for me. There’s someone here to see you. Can you turn a little towards the door and tell me if you know them?”

            The girl turned her head, and stared in shock at the couple in the doorway. Jess and Sam didn’t move either. For a few seconds, there was complete silence in the room. Sam still didn’t want to believe, too afraid that it was just a cruel joke. But the girl’s eyes filled with tears, which spilled onto the bed below her, and all doubt was removed from everyone’s minds.

“Mommy? Daddy?”

Chapter Text

Broken Pieces

A/N: Again, while Duke University is a real place, Dean Robert Halliwell, who appears near the end of this chapter, is completely fictional. Any similarity to any other person, fictional or otherwise, is entirely coincidental.

“Mommy? Daddy?”

“Savannah!”

            Jess took the doctor’s advice and was very gentle approaching Savannah. Sam followed, sitting on the other side of the bed and hugging her other side. But the way Savannah held them, like she was using every ounce of strength she had to hang on to them, disturbed Sam. He felt something wet on his shoulder and realized Savannah was still crying. Not in relief, but from guilt, pain, or both. Sam gently pushed her away from him and Jess, just far enough he could wipe the tears from her face. Jess was smiling, watching Savannah closely, but Savannah didn’t stop or slow down crying.

“Savannah?” Sam asked. “What’s wrong, honey? Are you in pain? What is it?”

Savannah admitted painfully, “I didn’t think you two were coming.”

            On hearing that, Dr. Jessup realized the three of them had some things to talk about, so he excused himself. Savannah cried against her mom, whose thrill at finding Savannah alive was now replaced with heart-wrenching guilt. She laid back and held Savannah, while Sam looked out the window. Sam finally turned back to Savannah.

“Savannah. Baby, look at me. Please.” Savannah turned towards Sam. “Do you know why we weren’t here earlier?”

“No.” Savannah said.

“Honey, there was a mix-up. The paramedic that rescued you from the crash? She asked you what your name was. You told her ‘Rachel’. Do you remember that?” Sam asked.

Savannah teared up again. “Yeah. I was trying to ask if Rachel was okay.”

“Did you know her?”

“We talked on the plane. Right before…” Savannah couldn’t continue, scared for the answer to the question she was about to ask. “Is she?”

“I’m sorry, honey. No, she’s not.”

Savannah was upset, but she was still in shock over everything that had happened in the last thirty-six hours. Mourning Rachel would have to wait. She was happy to see her parents, but she was still struggling with the feelings she had before getting on the plane.  

“She’s why you guys weren’t here?” Savannah asked, confused. “I don’t get it.”

“Honey, they told us it was you that died.” Jess explained.

Stunned, Savannah looked from her mother to her father with her mouth hanging open. “You thought I was dead?”

“Yes, we did.” Sam said. As happy as he was at the moment, the memory of the last few hours saddened Sam to the core. Sam took a deep breath and said, “Baby, your mom and I realized some things after they told us you were gone. Things that we owe you an apology for.”

“Don’t.” Savannah said. “I’m too tired for this.”

“Savannah…” Sam said, but was immediately cut off.

“Daddy, I mean it. Don’t.” Savannah said firmly. She looked up at them, this time an angry, exhausted, fierce resoluteness in her eyes. “I get it about the mix up. I’m not mad at you for that. But I’m so tired of this. It feels like anytime I need you two for something more than a hug or kiss you guys have something better to do.”

Her words stung, but both Sam and Jess knew they were deserved.

Savannah wasn’t done. “It was time for me to leave. For college. And you two decided it was a better idea to spend some ‘alone time’ together than to be there for me when I needed you more than ever.”

“Savannah, it was an accident.” Sam said desperately. “I honestly thought the flight was the next day. I got my days mixed up.”

“That’s part of the problem!” Savannah said. “I reminded you over and over for the last two weeks. I told you that morning when I left to take the walk. But I guess I need to scream at you or tell you stuff five hundred times before you listen to me.”

A stunned Sam could do nothing more than stare at Savannah.

“And I…” Savannah started, then changed her mind. She bit her bottom lip and stared at her bedsheet.

“What, Savannah?” Sam asked quietly.

            Savannah pulled away from her mother. Her head was clearing more, so she tried to sit up further, but it was tough with the cast. Jess, seeing the pain on Savannah’s face, felt the guilt begin to tear her apart. Not knowing what else to do, she reached up and tried to push Savannah’s hair out of her face, only to be left hurt herself when Savannah pushed her hand away. Sam waited, terrified at what else Savannah could possibly have to say. When Savannah spoke again, she was almost whispering. But her words stuck a knife in her father’s already shattered heart.

“I thought I was gonna die. The plane kept falling, and I had to grab a stranger’s hand because you forgot me. Again. Both of you did. And I’m tired of just giving you guys another chance with nothing more than a hug and an apology. You’re gonna have to show me you mean it this time.” Savannah said.

“How?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know.” Savannah answered, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t know. You guys are gonna have to figure that out.”

“We’ll figure it out, Savannah.” Jess said. “Whatever it takes.”

“Yeah, baby. We will.” Sam promised. Sam checked the clock and realized they’d been there with Savannah for nearly an hour, and he still hadn’t called Dean yet. “I need to go call Dean, baby. I’ll be right back, okay?”

Savannah nodded. “Okay, Daddy.” When Sam stood up to go to the hallway, Savannah noticed him wipe his eyes. “Daddy?”

Sam turned back to her. “Yeah?” “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” Sam asked. “For what?”

“Taking the money out of your wallet. Taking your credit card.” Savannah said.

Sam smiled. “Baby, don’t worry about that. That doesn’t matter now. Okay?”

Savannah nodded. “Please don’t hate me.”

“Hate you?” “For not trusting you guys right now.” Savannah explained.

Sam took his seat back next to Savannah, cupped his hand behind her head and said, in a way that he hadn’t spoken to her since infancy, “Peanut, I couldn’t hate you if I tried. And I swear to you, on my life, I will do everything I can to get that trust back. Okay?”

“Okay.” Savannah said, her first hint of a smile crossing her face.

“I love you.” Sam said.

“Love you too, Daddy.”

“I’ll be right back.” Sam promised, kissing her forehead.

“When you come back, can I talk to Morgan?”

“You bet.” Sam said, and he finally left.

Once Sam was gone, Jess tapped Savannah on the shoulder. “Hey.”

Savannah looked up. “Yeah?”

“Ditto.”

Savannah snorted, and she and Jess shared another hug. Back in the hallway, Sam was just hanging up with Dean, when he heard a voice behind him that sounded familiar.

“Mr. Winchester?”

Sam turned around to face an older gentleman in a black suit. “Yes?”

“Sorry if I scared you. My name’s Robert Halliwell.” He stuck his hand out and Sam shook it. “I’m the Dean of Admissions of Duke University.”

“Oh!” Sam said. He knew the name had sounded familiar; he’d seen it on Savannah’s college paperwork. “Hi.”

“Hi. I know it’s not a great time, but can we talk?” “Sure.” The two of them took a seat in the waiting area a few feet away. “Um, since you’re here, I guess you heard what happened to Savannah…”

“Mr. Winchester, I just have one question about that.” Dean Halliwell answered.

“What’s that?”

“How is Savannah?” he asked. “Is she all right?”

Sam smiled. “She will be.”

“That’s good. I’m sure you’re worried about her scholarship. Don’t be. We’ll hold her scholarship for up to two semesters to give her adequate time to recover. And I understand if she changes her mind, but if Savannah would still like to attend, we’d love to have her. All you have to do is email me whenever she’s ready to begin.” Dean Halliwell said.

Sam had to fight from jumping for joy. He made a good living, but Savannah had worked hard in school and deserved to go to any school she wanted. It would’ve broken his heart to have to tell Savannah she would have to restart her college search.

“Thank you.” Sam said. “Thank you. So much.”

“No problem.” Dean Halliwell said.

“Would you like to see Savannah?” Sam asked. “Give her the news?” “I’ll let you do that.” Dean Halliwell said. “I’m sure she needs to rest. But I actually wanted to talk to you about something else. Something personal.”

“Okay?” Sam asked.

“I want to offer you a job.”

Chapter Text

Heroes

A/N: Last chapter. Thank you guys, it’s been great!

“I want to offer you a job.”

Sam stuttered, unsure what to say. “I’m sorry. Did you say a job?”

“Yes.” Dean Halliwell said. “One of our law professors is retiring at the end of the semester. After reading Savannah’s admission essay about you, I knew I had to talk to you about it. I was actually planning to try and talk to you during orientation.”

“Her admission essay?” Sam asked. “She wrote it about me?”

“She did. You didn’t know?”

“No.” Sam said. “She wouldn’t let me read it. She had her English teacher review it.” “Well, it’s a good thing I brought a copy of it with me.” Dean Halliwell pulled a paper out of his front pocket and handed it to Sam with a smile.

Please describe a person in your life you see as a hero.

            I tried really hard to narrow this down to just one person, but I can’t. I know it sounds like a cliché, or like a standard answer to a college admissions essay, but I don’t care. Choosing one person to write about would be an injustice to the five heroes I have around me.

            My first hero is my aunt Lisa. She married my uncle Dean when I was five years old, and I remember the first time we met. My mother was pregnant with my little sister at the time, my father was trying to begin his own law practice, and my uncle Dean was trying to start his own auto garage. The first day we met, she volunteered to babysit me while my mother had a doctor’s appointment and my father and uncle had to work. I was nervous, because I didn’t know her at all. I was scared to be left with a stranger. But she was patient with me, and we ended up talking and becoming the best of friends. I knew my parents loved me, but I had never had an adult actually want to be friends with me. I thought it was the coolest thing in the whole world. We’re still friends to this day.

            My uncle Dean is next on the list. He is a master when it comes to cars. He runs his own garage, and more than once, I have seen him help a family low on their luck by doing an expensive auto repair and working with them to pay for it. I have seen him more than once get up in the middle of the night and tow a family whose car was broken down on a dark road somewhere. I even saw him bring a family that he didn’t know home with him once because they were from out of state and had nowhere else to go while he worked on their car. I saw later that the repairs he had to do to their car was in the range of several thousand dollars. But because they were coming back from the funeral of the mom’s parents and had an eighteen-month-old baby with them, he did it completely for free. He only asked them to pay the favor forward one day. I hope that, one day, I can have a heart half as big as his.

            My little sister Morgan comes next. Morgan has always been small for her age. She gets bullied for it, but she does not take the bullying sitting down. She will stick up for herself and anyone else, including me, without expecting anything in return. I’ve often felt guilty that she sticks up for me when I’m the big sister, but she says that someone has to do it. Morgan is also athletic. She can run as fast as anyone I’ve ever seen. She is always willing to include anyone in her playing, even if they’re not as good at sports as she is. I hope one day I can be as tough as she is.

            My parents are the heroes closest to my heart. My dad is a lawyer, and now runs his own practice. He has never once turned a client away who couldn’t pay. I’ve watched him reunite families, comfort clients who have lost loved ones, and be there for people who had no one else to turn to. Like my uncle Dean and the family who needed a lifeline, my dad has been a lifeline for countless people out there. Never once have I heard him complain about it. Through all of that, even though there were nights I know he was tired and ready to lie down and sleep, he never once failed to tell me or Morgan ‘I love you’. He is constantly grabbing my mother and kissing her, hugging her, expressing his love and gratitude for her, and reminding her that he would be lost without her. My mom has devoted her life to me and my sister. She’s such a strong woman and could have done anything she wanted with her life, but she chose to be the incredible mother that she is today simply because she loves the both of us more than her own life. More than once, when I or my sister was in some pain or having some heartache that she couldn’t fix, she’d cry just like we would. I have no doubt whatsoever she would give her life up for one of us if she had to. If I meet a man who is half as good to me as my dad is to my mom or become half as good a mother to my own kids as my mom has been to me, I will be the luckiest person in the world.

            All of us are shaped by multiple people in our lives. Without the influence of my aunt and uncle, mom and dad, and my sister, Savannah Marie Winchester wouldn’t be the same person she is today. They love me, and I love them. I would love to attend your distinguished university, but if for some reason I do not get chosen, I still have a soft place to fall, and that is what matters the most.

            Sam was speechless. His eyes kept wandering to If I meet a man who is half as good to me as my dad is to my mom or become half as good a mother to my own kids as my mom has been to me, I will be the luckiest person in the world. He had done something right with Savannah, but instead of making him feel better, his heart reverberated the guilt with every heartbeat. Even with all the problems he and Jess had with Savannah, she still admired them. She was a blessing that the two of them didn’t deserve.

“Mr. Winchester?” Dean Halliwell asked. “Are you all right?”

Sam looked up and wiped away the tear that was falling. “I’m fine.” He said. “I just didn’t realize…”

“I understand.” Dean Halliwell said. “Based on her application and that essay, your daughter is a remarkable young woman, and I look forward to meeting her in person one day.”

Sam nodded in agreement. “She certainly is.” Sam collected himself and then asked, “You said you wanted to talk to me? About a job?”

“Yes. Like I was saying, one of the professors at our law school is retiring at the end of this semester. I was wondering if you would be interested in the job. When I read Savannah’s essay, I was impressed with the way she described your attitude towards your clients. I’m afraid that too many of our law students get into the profession just trying to make a lot of money, and they don’t realize that there’s more important things to be concerned with.”

“Um…” Sam said, his mind spinning. “I can’t give you an answer now…” “Of course. I understand that. Please, talk to your wife and Savannah. But I should tell you this. I won’t lie and tell you it’s the best paying position in the world. But we do provide all our staff with a fully furnished apartment, health insurance for you and your family, and paid vacation. If you don’t teach classes during the summer term, we also offer half pay.”

“I hate asking this, but Savannah’s a college freshman. If I do take the job, she may not be thrilled about having to stay with her parents…” “If she wants to stay in the dorms, she can.” Dean Halliwell said. “I understand that. I’ve got three teenage girls. I can’t imagine forcing them to live at home once they were old enough to move out.”

“I need to think about this. Really think about it.” Sam said. “I’m interested, for sure. I’ve always wanted to teach. But this will involve uprooting my whole family if we all decide to do it. When do you need an answer?” “I wasn’t planning to put the official job notice out for another month or so. Do you think you can give me an answer by then?”

“Definitely.” Sam said. “Thank you, sir. No matter how this turns out, I appreciate the opportunity.”

“I appreciate you thinking about it.” Dean Halliwell said. “And if you do decide to do it, you can go ahead and move and get settled. We already have a vacant apartment for whoever takes the job. All you have to do is move in.”

“Thank you.” Sam said. He held up Savannah’s essay. “May I keep this?” “Of course.”

            The two men shook hands, and Sam made his way back to Savannah’s room. Was this the answer? The way to convince Savannah that she did mean everything to them? He decided to put the conversation on hold for later that night, after Savannah was asleep. He came back to find Jess and Savannah on the bed, watching TV together, laughing at some cartoon.

“It’s good to see you smiling.” Sam said.

“Yeah.” Savannah said. “What took you so long?”

“I ran into the Dean of Admissions from Duke. He told me they were holding your scholarship for up to two semesters, so you can start whenever you feel ready.”

“I can still go?” Savannah asked.

Sam nodded. “Yeah, you can.” The mood in the room lightened, as an invisible weight came off everyone’s shoulders. Sam continued, “He also gave me this.”

“What?” When Savannah saw the paper in his hand, she bit her lip. “Oh. Yeah.” “Read this.” Sam said, handing it to Jess. Jess read the essay quickly, and the guilt Sam had felt after reading it was mirrored in her own face. “Oh, Savannah…”

“No chick flick moments.” Savannah said, now uncomfortable with all the attention on her.

Both her parents laughed, but Sam said seriously, “We will make this up to you.”

Savannah nodded. “I know.” After a beat, she said, “Come on. I miss Morgan. I want to talk to her.”

            Sam called Dean back and got an overjoyed Morgan on the phone. The rest of the day was spent focused on Savannah, spending time with her and just her. Jess could tell Sam had something else on his mind, but all he would say when asked was that they would discuss it after Savannah went to sleep. Sam expected Jess to argue against having to uproot the family. But she surprised him.

“Sam that’s it! Let’s do it.” “Hold it.” Sam said. “I say we talk to Morgan about it first, and let Savannah be the one to make the decision. If she wants her own space, then we give it to her. If she wants us near her, but she wants to stay on campus, we do that. If she wants to move in with us, she can. Let’s just leave it up to her.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

            They talked to Morgan that night, and the next day, after Savannah had eaten breakfast and was fully awake, they presented the plan to her. Savannah heard all her options, then sat on the bed looking towards her feet, trying to untangle all her own emotions. She knew they were making an effort. She didn’t doubt that.

“Peanut?” Sam asked. “What are you thinking?”

Savannah sighed. “I don’t feel right asking you both to change your whole lives for me.”

“Savannah, you are our life. There’s nothing more important to us than you and Morgan. We want you to feel that.”

“And Morgan. I don’t want her to have to lose all her friends just because of me.” Savannah said. “She’s my family, I don’t want to do that to her.”

Sam and Jess both laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Savannah asked.

“We already talked to Morgan.” Sam said. “She told you would say that. You know what she asked us to tell you?” “What?”

“That we wouldn’t be a family without you. And if you need us, just tell us. Don’t feel bad about it.” Sam said. “You don’t have to answer now. But if you do want us here, we’ll start moving as soon as we can.”

Savannah leaned back against the pillows on her bed and grabbed both her parents’ hands. “Don’t leave me.” She said.

“Does that mean you want us to move here with you?” Sam asked.

Savannah nodded. “Yes.”

“Do you want to live with us?” Jess asked.

Savannah thought a little more about that. “Can I decide that later?”

“Absolutely.” Sam agreed.

“Can I ask a couple more things?” Savannah asked.

“What is it?”

Savannah squeezed their hands and said, “I know it’s a lot more work to move this way, but please don’t fly back to Little Rock.” “We won’t.” Jess promised. Flying back would be a lot quicker, but wouldn’t be worth it if Savannah was afraid.

“And…” Savannah said, then stopped, still feeling unsure about herself.

Savannah looked up at them, biting her bottom lip. “I can’t get the crash out of my head. The screaming, the fire, how scared I was. Don’t leave me alone here.” Sam and Jess looked at each other and had an entire silent conversation in just five seconds. “Savannah, I swear to you, one of us will be here with you at all times. If you want us to do that after you get out of the hospital too, then we will. We’re probably going to have to go back to sell the house and get it packed up, but only one of us will go.” Jess said.

“We’re here for you.” Sam said. “That’s what matters right now.”

“Thank you, guys.” Savannah said. “Thank you for taking this seriously.” “Are we on the right track?” Sam asked.

“Big time.” Savannah said.

“And please, Savannah, if you start feeling like we’re forgetting you again, speak up. Say something. Your dad and I don’t intentionally do this, so we need your help when we’re starting to act like that.” Jess said. “Promise?” “Promise.”

“I’m gonna go call Dean and tell him.” Sam said. “Love you, Peanut.”

“Love you, Daddy.”

Four Weeks Later

            Sam flung open Savannah’s bedroom door and turned the light on. Jess was back in Little Rock, packing up what little was left of their stuff from the house. Sam grabbed Savannah and called her name, but she was still stiff, screaming and crying.

“Savannah!” Sam finally yelled. “Savannah, wake up!”

Savannah’s eyes popped open, and she realized she wasn’t on the plane, she was in her new bedroom. The loud noise she’d heard had been her dad flinging the door open and screaming her name to get her to wake up. It was her crying, not Rachel.

“Savannah. You’re safe, baby. It was just a nightmare.” “Daddy…” Savannah choked out, then collapsed in her father’s arms.

            As Sam held Savannah, Sam thought back to the last month of their life. After calling Dean and letting him know they were moving, Dean had told him he would bring Morgan, but to give him a couple days. Sam had used the two days to secure their apartment. Dean had shown up on the third day with not just Morgan, Lisa, and Ben, but a moving truck full of all their possessions. As Morgan and Savannah reunited, Dean, Lisa, Jess, Sam, and Ben unpacked the truck and started to set up the new apartment. Savannah was released a week later, with a clean bill of health and a note to come back in one more week to remove her stitches and in five more weeks to take off her cast. Dean and Lisa returned ten days after she was released with another surprise-another moving truck and a rental agreement. They were moving to the apartment complex just outside campus. A thrilled Savannah tried to tell them not to do it, but was reminded by Dean,

“We wouldn’t be a family without you.”

            Savannah was still crying, and when she choked out another ‘Daddy’, Sam started rocking her back and forth in the way that had become routine for him in the last weeks. Savannah was having at least one nightmare a night, and either he, Jess, or both found themselves, every time, sitting in her room just like this, holding her and trying to make her feel safe, loved, and valued. The three of them, at the suggestion of Jess, had started seeing a counselor once a week. Slowly but steadily, the family was becoming stronger than ever before. Savannah eventually fell asleep again, but Sam didn’t leave the room. He got up, turned off her bedroom light, then got beside her and wrapped her in his arms.

“Daddy’s got you, Peanut. Sleep tight.” Sam kissed her cheek and promised, “I’m not going anywhere.”