Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ben pulled into the familiar driveway, leaving his bags in the trunk in favor of going straight for the door, opening it without hesitation.

“Anyone home?” He called out as he made his way to the room that everyone always seemed to be in- the kitchen.

“Ben?!” A high-pitched squeal rang out as he rounded the corner and all he saw before he was tackled was a messy brown bun bouncing toward him. She hugged him tightly before turning around to yell. “Mom, why didn't you tell me Ben was coming home?!”

“If I'd known, I would have told you.” His mother stood back, not wanting to get caught between Rey and her target when hugging was her mission, especially when it was her brother that she hadn't seen in almost a year. “Someone doesn't call their mother enough.”

“Excuse me, but I wanted to surprise you.” He smiled, taking in the sight of them. Rey had grown a lot in the last year, having turned 14 while he was away at school. His mother's hair had gone more gray since the last time he'd been home, but the spark in her eyes was no less dull as she teased him.

“Well, congratulations! We're surprised.” Rey smacked him on the shoulder playfully and he winced like it hurt. “How long are you staying?”

“Well..” He reached up to scratch the messy goatee he'd grown mostly out of laziness. “I was thinking, since I'm done with school, I would stay for.. A while?”

“Are you moving back in?!” Rey smiled brightly, jumping up and down as she looked back at their mother. “Mom, Ben is moving back in!”

“If that's okay. I mean, I just figured with Dad and all..” He shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

“It's great, sweetheart. We just need to clear out your room. You can stay in the guest room for now.” Leia assured him.

“..What did you do to my room?”

“We're just using it for some extra storage. We'll talk about it later.” She assured him with a pat on the shoulder. “Are you hungry? You must be after such a long drive.”

“I'm starving.” Ben groaned and his stomach rumbled, emphasizing the statement. “You're the best, mom!” He started to walk back out the door.

“Where are you running off to?” She questioned.

“I'm gonna grab my bags.” She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “..And a smoke” He admitted.

“Ben, you know how I hate that..” Her tone was solemn as she guilted him.

“I know, I know.. I'm quitting, I promise.” He narrowly escaped further judgment as he slipped out of the room before she could make him feel even worse. He knew it was a bad habit and his father's passing last year only made it that much worse. He didn't want to put her through that again. He'd been cutting back a lot, but it wasn't that easy to just up and quit.

He waited to grab his bags, popping the cigarette in his mouth as he made his way around to the backyard. Just as he was about to light it, he stopped in his tracks, almost stumbling and dropping the cigarette from his mouth.

In the yard adjacent to theirs, there was someone, that was certainly not Mrs. Kanata, cleaning the small greenhouse in a way that was certainly not normal. His lean body was in the doorway, his hands wiping at one side of the frame while he ground his backside against the other side. It took Ben a moment to notice that there was a towel there as well, too distracted by the way his body dipped and arched to realize that he was attempting to clean both sides at the same time.

His mouth was going dry as he watched the downright erotic display. The man was fully-dressed but his jeans were well-fitted and Ben could make out the sharp cheekbones even from a distance, intriguing him even more.

Just as he was about to turn to walk inside, cigarette completely forgotten, the man turned his head and paused his motions as he caught him staring. Ben forced a tight smile and a casual wave and he had to try not to laugh as the man bumbled slightly, straightening himself up to return the gesture, obviously flustered.

Who the hell was this guy? He was adorable..

Ben nodded politely before walking away through the back door and into the kitchen. “Hey, who's the guy next door?” He sat down at the table next to Rey where she was working on a project for school.

“That's Mr. Hux. He's my English teacher.” Rey didn't look up from her work as she informed him.

“What happened to Mrs. Kanata?” The old woman had lived next door since Ben was a baby and he was a little worried to see someone else, as cute as he was.

“Oh, she moved into a retirement home just a few months ago.” Leia sat down a grilled cheese in front of Ben.

“Oh..” The old lady had been like a grandmother to him and he wasn't entirely happy that no one thought to tell him that she moved away. He'd have to remember to go see her sometime.

“Eat up. We can work on clearing your room out when you're done.”

He did as his mother told him, devouring the sandwich before going back to the car for his forgotten bags.

---

Hux had spent the entire morning hosing and cleaning the roof of the greenhouse, one of his last projects before he could consider the house completed. It wasn't that anything was in bad shape when he moved in, it had just been a bit outdated. The greenhouse had clearly not been used in a long time, sitting empty in the back yard probably because the old woman before him wasn't capable of the upkeep it required.

He quite liked to garden and the expansive back yard and greenhouse were a couple of the main reasons he'd purchased the house instead of another. After he'd updated the kitchen and repainted most of the interior, he turned his attention to the greenhouse, fixing and cleaning the interior so that he could start planting. His small garden was well on its way, but it had been bothering him, the dust and discoloration built up on the building as he walked into it each day.

Hux's goal was to clean the wood, then sand it down today so that he could get it painted tomorrow, not wanting to wait until next weekend to complete it. He hated to leave things unfinished once he started, but he'd vastly underestimated the amount of cleaning that needed to be done. He'd been going at it for a couple of hours already and his arms were getting tired. He just wanted to finish the doorway and then he'd take a break.

He stretched out in the doorway, having an idea. He reached behind himself, tying one of his towels to his belt before pressing his backside to the frame. When he found that he could clean both sides of the frame at the same time, he took it as a victory and began to move up and down in smooth, steady motions.

From the corner of his eye he saw something move and he looked over to his left, dropping his towel as he noticed the man looking at him. He straightened himself up, hoping that the man couldn't see his face flushing from where he was standing. He waved back slightly, thankful when the man didn't linger.

Once he was gone, Hux straightened the front of his shirt and looked back at the work he'd gotten done. That was good enough for now, he could start sanding later after he took a break.

---

It didn't take long being home before he was bored. Once he caught up with Rey about school and his mother about how they were thinking about selling their house and moving somewhere smaller, there really wasn't much else to do. They'd packed up most of what was in his room, but he'd need to clean out the garage before he could move it all out.

He rinsed his glass in the sink before setting it to the side to dry, eyes wandering out the window to the neighbor's yard again, hoping to see the new guy, Mr. Hux. When there was nothing to see, he noticed the state of their own yard and he grimaced. The hedges looked neat enough, but the grass was getting long, it's no wonder he tripped earlier. It was definitely the overgrown grass and not the hot neighbor.

“Is there gas in the lawn mower?” He peaked his head into his mother's office to check.

“..Yes.” She stared at him. “Why?”

“I'm gonna mow the lawn.”

“..Okay.” She seemed skeptical of his motives.

“Don't look so shocked.” He scoffed with a smile as he left her to her work.

He went up stairs to change into a loose-fitting gray tank top before retrieving the mower from the shed in the back yard. As he made his way across the yard, the afternoon sun beating down on him, he began to sweat. He paused every few minutes to wipe the moisture from his forehead using the bottom of his shirt, soaking the fabric by the time he's done.

After having been stuck behind a desk at school for the past few years, it felt good to work up a decent sweat outside of the gym. It was so much more gratifying to actually accomplish something. He put the mower away and headed upstairs to take a shower, washing away all of the sweat and dirt, definitely not thinking about his gorgeous new neighbor..

---

Hux fixed himself lunch, taking his time eating the carefully crafted sandwich before gathering his supplies to take to the greenhouse. He was just putting his work gloves on when the loud chatter of the lawn mower started and he peaked out the window. He spotted the man instantly, a little caught off guard at the sight of his bare arms, muscles on display in the baggy, sleeveless top.

He slipped the gloves off and grabbed a glass of lemonade before he propped himself up against the sink as he watched. He wondered why he'd never seen him at the house before. Maybe he could ask Rey about it in class on Monday if he could find a way to do so without it being weird.

Hux tried to keep his thoughts clean as he watched the man lift his shirt to dab the sweat from his brow. He groaned at the sight of broad, rippling muscles covered in sweat. He silently prayed that he would get tired of the feeling of wet cotton and just take the damn thing off..

It didn't take him long to finish the small, grassy area, the majority of the yard being covered in a large deck or plants. By the time he was done, Hux had finished the glass of lemonade and was more than ready to go sand the greenhouse, very much needing a distraction.

It takes him the next several hours and his hands are aching and sore by the time he finishes, but he hadn't once thought about the sexy, black-haired stranger next door. Damn it. Now he was thinking about him and he didn't have time for that. Phasma was coming over for dinner and he barely had time to shower without getting distracted. He turned the water to cold as he finished soaping himself up, thinking about the roasted chicken he was about to make and what herb mix he should use.

A while later, he was stirring the risotto when he heard the front door click open. “In the kitchen!”

“When are you not in the kitchen?” She grinned at him as she came into the room, setting down a bottle of wine on the table. “Not that I'm complaining, that smells amazing.”

“Of course it does.” He smacked her hand with his tasting spoon as she reached out to stick her finger into the pan.

“Ooow.. You're so mean.” She pouted.

“I'm making you a delicious meal to celebrate your promotion, how am I mean, again?” Hux raised his eyebrows to her.

“Okay, fine. You're the best.” She rolled her eyes as she took a seat at the table while Hux finished preparing the meal. He carved the chicken expertly, preparing the both of them a plate garnished with fresh herbs from his garden.

“So, I told you all about my job, what's going on with you? How are you settling in?” She looked around the room. “The kitchen looks great!”

“Thank you. It's been.. Interesting.” Hux adjusted his silverware on his plate as he pushed it away, not entire sure if he should indulge her or not.

“Oh?” She smiled widely, knowingly.

“It seems I have a new neighbor.” He couldn't help himself. He told Phasma everything.

“Did the old neighbors move out?”

“No.. I think he's part of the family. I saw him carrying in several bags. More than just an overnight stay. He's too old to be a friend of Rey's, but too young to be a suitor of Mrs. Organa's.” Yeah, he'd thought about it. A lot.

“Oh my god, Hux, no one says 'suitor'.” She laughed around her wine glass. “So, tell me about him. Is he hot?”

“Incredibly.” Hux groaned out as he dropped his head back. “Phas, he is.. So incredibly attractive.”

She had clearly been teasing him, but perked up as he told her she was right. “What does he look like?” Her bright blue eyes were wide and intrigued as she leaned over the table.

“He's tall, probably a little taller than myself.” He starts off matter-of-factually. “He has this.. Messy, sex hair.”

“What color is it?” Her head was resting on her hands.

“Black. Pitch black.” He answered quickly before getting back to what he was saying. “His body is..” Hux paused to lick his lips. “Perfect.”

“Is he ripped?”

“Yes.” Hux dropped his head into his hands. “I'm so fucked.”

“Well, I hope so!” She laughed loudly.

“That's not what I meant.” He dropped his head to the table, hands falling to his side in defeat.

“Why not? Just go for it.” She kicked back in her chair throwing her arms up.

“And make myself into a walking cliché? No thank you.” He mumbled. “Plus, he's the brother of one of my students. Probably.” He wasn't entirely sure, but it was the best guess he had.

“Who cares? You're really going to torture yourself like that? All for the sake of some made-up sense of propriety?”

“Yes.” He turned his head to the side, looking up at her. “You brought dessert, right?”

“Of course I brought dessert.” She stood, patting his shoulder. “Come on, let's go eat your feelings.”

Chapter Text

The next morning, Hux starts the day bright and early, wanting to get the painting finished before the sun is too high and he has to worry about his pale skin burning. From the top of the greenhouse, he saw his new neighbor walk out the front door wearing a tank top and sweatpants, water bottle in hand, hair tied up in a small bun on his head. He took a quick gulp from his water before taking off in a light jog.

Hux got to work, feet planted on the top of the greenhouse wall, body resting across slats of the ceiling to support him while he painted the top-most point of the tiny building. He moved on from one slat to the next until he was at the front, climbing down the ladder to move to the other side. He managed to finish the entire top of the structure, but as he moved to the ladder, his foot slipped, knocking it over.

“Damn it!” He cursed to himself as he balanced on the edge, looking down. It wasn't that far, but there were flowers planted all around the edge. There was no jumping down without crushing them and he had a bucket of paint with him that he had nowhere to put even if he could.

“Need some help?” A deep voice pulled him from his own mind and Hux looked over to see the sweat-drenched man standing in his own back yard, having obviously noticed his predicament. As much as he wanted to insist that he was perfectly fine and not have the man come any closer to him, he really didn't see any other options.

“Yes, please.” He resigned himself and he man disappeared for a moment before walking through the gate on the side of his yard.

---

Ben was on his way back into the house from his morning run when he heard the cursing from next door. He saw the adorable redhead up on the greenhouse roof looking down at the ground and when he followed his gaze, he saw the ladder on the grass. He smiled to himself as he walked into the backyard.

He thought the man would say no to his offer for help, but surprisingly, he agreed and Ben made his way into his yard and over to where he was sitting on the edge of the small building. Completely ignoring the ladder only a foot away, he reached his arms up. The man handed him the paint can and he set it down, reaching up again.

“Come on.” He wiggled his fingers as he held his arms out for the man.

“Excuse me?” Ben caught the soft English accent as the man questioned him, cheeks tinting a light pink as he looked at Ben's hands. Adorable..

“Jump down.” He stated again, motioning for him to jump.

“You could just get me the ladder..” He looked over to the ground where it was lying there, but Ben's eyes stayed on him.

“I could..” He smiled cheekily. “Come on, I'll catch you, I promise.”

---

He had to be joking.. Nope. Not joking. He seriously wanted Hux to jump down into his arms like they were in some kind of romantic comedy. He had half a mind to dump the paint bucket on him, but it was already on the ground and his hands did look inviting..

“Fine.” He begrudgingly agreed, sliding to the very edge and into the man's waiting hands, his own hands resting on thick biceps for stability. “Don't drop me.” He said grumpily as he expected to be guided to the ground roughly, the hands serving only to keep him from falling forward, maybe minimizing the damage to the plants below.

Instead, strong arms flexed underneath him and held him up as he backed away from the greenhouse. He could feel the long, thick fingers digging into his waist and immediately his mind took a turn into the gutter, the color on his cheeks darkening. God, his hands were huge.

He stayed lifted in the air like he weighed nothing, until they had cleared the plants and he was gently set down on the grass. He swallowed hard as he stood face to face with the tall, handsome man and it took him a moment to realize that the man's hands were still on him. He took a quick step back, tugging the bottom his his shirt down.

“Thank you.” He looked away, knowing that the man could see his blush, his pale skin betraying him. Maybe he could blame it on the sun.

“You're welcome.” The man smiled and even his crooked teeth were endearing, giving him a boyish charm. He hadn't noticed that he was now clean shaven.. “I'm Ben.” He held a hand out again, this time to shake.

“Hux.” He shook the hand, enamored with the way it practically swallowed his own.

“That your first name?” Ben crossed his arms, standing casually.

“It's my last name. I don't like my first name.” Hux's posture was impeccable, as always.

“Fair enough.” They stood, neither having anything else to say. “Well, I'll let you get back to it then.”

“Of course. Thank you again.” He nodded politely as Ben started to walk away.

“See you around, Hux!” Ben called out over his shoulder as he walked through the gate and into his own house.

As soon as he was out of sight, Hux let out a huge sigh and went inside to get himself a tall glass of cold water, gulping it down quickly. His own hands ghosted over where Ben had held him, almost able to still feel his grip.

The most frustrating thing about the entire situation hadn't been his reaction, it was the fact that Ben, that arrogant little prat, had worked him up on purpose. He could have just gotten him the ladder, maybe held it for him if he was trying to be extra helpful. Hux even pointed that out, but he'd refused.

There was no doubt in his mind that Ben had enjoyed seeing him flustered and while he was annoyed, he was also very much turned on. That wasn't good. His primary hope for being able to resist Ben was the thought that maybe he was straight and wouldn't be interested. Now that theory was out the window, he only had the flimsy excuse that it would somehow be inappropriate for him because of his teacher-student relationship with Rey.

Somehow, he knew that Ben wasn't going to make it easy for him. So much for moving to a nice, quiet neighborhood where he could mind his own business and live in peace. After giving himself a chance to calm down, he went back outside to finish the job he'd started that morning.

---

Ben poured a cup of coffee from the pot his mom had brewed, sitting at the kitchen table with a wide grin on his face.

“What's got you in such a good mood?” Leia looked over her shoulder from the stove where she was making omelets.

“Nothing..” He couldn't wipe the smile from his face as he denied her question. “So, completely unrelated.. What do you know about the neighbor- Hux?”

“Well, Rey isn't a big fan of his. She says he's too strict.” Ben could definitely see that, Hux seemed very uptight. He'd love to help him relax.. “But he seems nice.”

“Do you know if he's seeing anyone?” He asked casually.

“Aaand there it is.” She snapped her fingers, laughing at him.

“Mom..” He groaned.

“Fine, fine. There's a woman that stops by sometimes, but I don't know if they're a thing. Come get some eggs.” She slid the omelet out of the pan and onto his plate when he brought it over.

“Oh my god..” He melted as he took a bite. “This is so much better than dorm food.”

“Thank you. My only goal in life is for my food to be better than dorm food.” She taunted playfully.

“Ha ha. Anyway, I was going to clean out the garage today. What should I do with everything in there?”

“Just donate it all.” He could tell by her tone that she didn't really want to think about it.

“All of it?”

“There's nothing important out there. You can go through it and save anything you want to, but Rey and I already took out everything worth keeping.”

Ben finished his meal and helped clean up before making his way out to the garage. He hadn't showered yet, figuring that by the time he was done loading everything up, he would just be sweaty and gross again.

A couple of hours into sorting and boxing, he ran out of tape. Leia told him they were out and he'd have to go to the store, but he had a better idea. He pulled his shirt off, using it to wipe the bulk of the sweat from his forehead and chest before sticking it into his pocket and walking over to the neighbor's house.

He knocked gently, leaning casually against the wall while he waited for Hux to answer. When he finally did, Been instantly straightened up at the sight of him. His hair was soaking wet, dripping down his face and onto the towel around his neck, his thin white t-shirt clinging to his damp body. His low-riding pajama bottoms looked like they would fall off if it weren't for Hux's sharp hip bones holding them up.

---

When Hux looked through the viewfinder, he saw Ben standing there shirtless and he took a moment to collect himself before opening the door. If Ben was trying to rile him up again, well.. Two could play at that game. He pulled his towel away for a moment, wringing out the moisture in his hair, pleased with the way it fell down onto his shirt, see-through patches appearing where the water landed. He put the towel back around his neck and tugged his pants down just enough to expose a sliver of skin.

“Can I help you?” Hux asked, satisfied when Ben's confident stance stiffened.

“Yeah..” Ben's eyes raked across his body and the man licked his lips. “I need tape.” He seemed to snap out of it as he finally looked up to meet Hux's eyes.

“Pardon me?”

“Packing tape. Do you have any that I could borrow?” He ran his hand through his hair.

“No.” He watched Ben shift on his feet at his rejection. “I don't think you'll be able to return it once it's used, so you may not borrow it, but I have a roll that you can have.”

“Right. English teacher..” Ben laughed a little and it was like music to Hux's ears, though he managed to maintain his stoic stance. “Can I come in?”

Hux stepped aside and let him enter, watching the way the sweatpants hugged his backside and thighs, licking his lips while he couldn't be seen, clenching his jaw as Ben turned back to face him.

“Wow, this place has really changed..” Ben was staring at the new kitchen as they entered.

“For the better, I'd hope?” Hux wasn't sure why he cared to get Ben's opinions on his own home, but Phasma had been the only other person to see it before and after the work he'd put it.

“It looks great. Did you do all this yourself?” Ben seemed to be relaxing as he walked through the room, hands roaming over the edges of the new cabinets.

“Most of it. There was a lot of electrical work that needed updating, but other than that..” Hux rummaged through a drawer in the kitchen, finding what he was looking for.

“So, I guess you're pretty good with your hands?” Ben grinned and Hux didn't react save for throwing the tape at his face. “Hey!” Ben caught it with ease, laughing. “I just meant that I was going to build some shelves in our garage and thought you might be able to help..”

Hux didn't believe for one moment that Ben hadn't been flirting, but it was still a fair request to consider. “Perhaps.”

“I could uh.. Help you finish painting the greenhouse?” Ben was reaching and Hux was starting to have fun dragging him along.

---

“Already finished.” Hux announced proudly as he reached up to towel the hair on the back of his neck. With the fluffy material out of the way, Ben could clearly see Hux's small, pink nipple through the damp fabric and he had to resist the urge to reach out and run his thumb across it..

“Well, is there anything else you need help with?” Ben forced himself to focus as much as he wanted to keep thinking about the way Hux would gasp at the conta- Nope. Not thinking about that. Not in his very unforgiving sweatpants.

“Hm..” Hux leaned against the counter as if he was thinking. “How do you feel about spiders?” Ben shrugged. “I've not ventured into the attic yet. I'm not entirely sure what's up there, and I absolutely don't want to find out, but I need the space.”

“Done.” Ben smiled, happy to have found an excuse to spend time with the man. “You're probably pretty busy during the week, but I can come by tomorrow night after you get home. It's probably not that bad..”

It was that bad.

Ben stood at the top of the ladder with his head peaking into the small, pointed room. Aside from the couple of feet immediately surrounding the entrance, the entire space was packed from floor to ceiling with boxes and furniture.

“Okay, this is going to be tougher than I thought..” Ben called down to Hux, who was standing a safe distance away.

“What's up there?” He called out, obviously not wanting to get too close.

“..A lot.” Ben took a few steps down so his head was below ceiling level. “It's really full, but I don't see any spiders. Want to have a look?” He stepped aside so that Hux could peak as he leaned against the ladder. “I can take it all out if you want.”

“What will you do with it?” Hux asked curiously.

“I can go through it, see if Mrs. Kanata wants to keep any of it. Probably donate the rest.” Ben shrugged..

“Is that the woman that lived here before?” Hux stepped down.

“Yeah. She's in a retirement home now.. Do you have somewhere I can sort everything? I can take some pictures and go see her this weekend.”

---

Ben was going to sort through all of the old woman's possessions, take pictures of them, drive god-knows how far away to show them to her and then deliver the items she'd like to keep.. Hux was starting to feel a little bad that his first thought had been to simply throw it all in the trash.

“That sounds fine.” He stepped out of the way to let Ben get back to work. “The office is mostly empty, if you'd like to use that.” Hux showed him the door, not ten feet away from the attic.

“Perfect, thanks.” Ben smiled as he got to work unloading the boxes down the thick stairs and against the wall of the office.

“I'll be in the kitchen.” Hux informed him.

Hux cleared a space on the counter to begin making his fresh pasta, kneading it subconsciously to the beat of Ben's footsteps above him. By the time he'd started cutting it into thin ribbons, Ben had strolled into the kitchen, rubbing his forearm against his dusty, sweaty forehead. Ugh, why did he have to end up looking like that every time?

Ben grabbed a glass of water and filled him in on his progress. “I got everything out and into the office. I thought that would be a good place to stop for the night. I can come back tomorrow to start sorting..” Ben got distracted watching Hux cutting the pasta. “What are you making?”

“Seared shrimp pasta with a garlic, butter and herb sauce.” Hux glanced at Ben's impressed expression from the corner of his eye, turning his head slightly to hide his small smile.

“That sounds awesome..” Ben's stomach rumbled just then.

“I suppose I have enough for two..” Hux turned slightly to face him, taking in his dirty appearance. As much as he liked it, it wouldn't do for dinner. “But you'll not be sitting at my table looking like that.” Hux wagged the knife at him disapprovingly.

“Uh, yeah.. Of course. I'll go shower real quick!” Ben grinned, obviously a little taken aback by the invitation, but not hesitating to accept.

He'd meant it when he said 'quick', because Ben was back in his kitchen, squeaky clean and a little damp within ten minutes. He had his hair pulled up into a bun and Hux just want to use it like a handle, grabbing it and guiding Ben down onto his knees..

Instead, he focused on not overcooking the shrimp before combining everything into the pan, tossing it all together, intently aware of the way Ben was watching him. He prepared two plates for them, setting them down on the table and then walking back to the counter to grab a bottle of wine.

“You are old enough to drink, aren't you?” Hux teased, a tiny smile on his lips.

“I'm 25.” Ben replied with a scoff.

“Just checking.” Hux poured them both two glasses and instantly, the setting seemed more romantic.

“So, should I feel special or do you always cook fancy meals and drink wine?” Ben took a small sip and Hux knew the man was baiting him.

“The latter.” Hux took a sip as well, hiding his pleased grin behind the glass as Ben stuck his tongue out playfully.

Chapter Text

It took three more days for Ben to finish sorting the items from the attic and Hux found himself getting far too comfortable with the man coming and going through his home. It was Friday, early afternoon, when Hux arrived home and he barely had his shoes off when he heard a knock at the door.

“Hey.” Ben greeted him, stepping into the house with a smile.

“Hello, Ben.” Hux stepped aside, letting him in. “I thought you finished yesterday?”

“I did.” Ben agreed. “I thought I'd help you clean up.”

“Oh.” Hux hadn't considered that the empty attic was still nowhere near usable, Ben's presence distracting him the entire week. “Thank you.” He'd been ready to strip down and read book reports while he took a hot bath, but sure, getting dirty and grimy with Ben in the hot, moldy attic also sounded like fun.

Hux changed clothing while Ben grabbed cleaning supplies from the kitchen, meeting him at the attic door. He let Ben go first, still not entire sure of what might be living in the space. Climbing up, he watched his head, only being able to fully stand in the very middle of the room. Truthfully, it didn't look that bad, mostly it was just dust. A bit of wiping and some wood polish should do it.

Ben started high, dusting the cobwebs from the peak of the room while Hux worked on trying to get the window at the other end of the room open, the mugginess of the room already stifling. He paused when he heard a loud creak followed by a crack, looking back over his shoulder to Ben.

“What was that?” Ben had frozen in place as he looked over to Hux.

“Don't move..” Hux stood slowly.

“I feel like maybe I should move.” Ben brought his arms down, but didn't have a chance to move before the floor cracked again, breaking underneath his feet.

“Ben!” Hux jumped toward him, skidding across the floor as he reached out, grabbing him by the arms.

Ben groaned as he stopped falling once he was chest deep in the floor, his elbows slamming down onto the wood with a harsh thud.

“Are you all right?” Hux breathed out, his eyes wide.

“I think so?” Ben tried to lift himself but couldn't get any leverage with his legs dangling below the surface of the floor. “I can't pull myself up..”

Hux stared at him, heart pounding, fingers digging into the skin of Ben's arm when suddenly a smile broke out across his face. He pulled his hands back and covered his face as the small grin turned into full blown laughter, echoing in the small room.

---

Ben blinked as Hux started to laugh. They'd only known each other for a week, but that entire time, Ben had never heard Hux laugh, he'd barely even seen the man smile and never the kind of smile that took over his entire face and made his eyes wrinkle at the edges.

As Hux rolled onto his side, completely lost in laughter, Ben's own lips curled up until he was laughing too, despite the fact that he was still stuck. He couldn't help it, the sound of Hux's voice and the look of complete abandon on his face was contagious.

Eventually, they settled down, Hux sighing as he held his side, sore from laughing too hard. Hux glanced over to him, still smiling as his hair fell down over his face and something in Ben's chest tightened. He coughed, trying to clear his throat.

“Are you going to help me or just keep laughing at me?” Ben tried to glare at him, but judging by Hux's expression, he didn't succeed.

“Sorry..” Hux licked his lips quickly, brushing his hair back into place as he sat up. “You just look so ridiculous.” He laughed one last time before shaking his head. “Sorry, okay.. I'm done.” His composure was back and Ben already missed smiling, carefree Hux. “Should I.. Go downstairs and try to push you up?”

“Maybe just get me the ladder, in case more of the floor goes down.” Ben suggested, not wanting Hux to get hurt.

---

Hux had no idea what had come over him. He couldn't remember the last time that he'd laughed so hard his side started hurting. It was just so ludicrous that Ben had actually fallen through the floor. The stunned look on his face mixed with the utterly silly situation caught Hux off guard and he couldn't help himself.

“Right.” Hux grabbed the ladder from outside, placing it under Ben's feet before climbing back up the stairs to help pull Ben up by the arms. Luckily, the rest of the floor remained in tact around him as Ben carefully crawled across the floor until he was in the clear, able to climb down the ladder.

“Are you sure you're all right?” Hux looked him over, turning his arms to examine them. They would be sore, he supposed, but nothing that looked too bad. Ben winced as he ran a hand across his side, lifting his shirt to see how bad it was. Hux watched, only to make sure he was okay, absolutely not because the sight of Ben's naked chest did things to him.

“Just a scrape.” Ben brushed it off as he dropped his shirt back down.

“Just a scrape filled with dust and dirt and God knows what else. Come on, let's get it cleaned.” Hux started to walk to the bathroom, not waiting for Ben to follow.

---

Ben grinned, following as Hux walked down the hall, careful to avoid the debris. He kind of liked it when Hux used that authoritative tone. In the bathroom, he sat on the closed toiled, lifting his shirt as instructed. Hux knelt down and opened a fresh wipe, gently cleaning the wound. Ben was thankful for the stinging sensation keeping him in check as he watched Hux on his knees, getting very, very bad ideas.

When he was finally done, he opened a bandage that was just long enough to cover the scrape, pressing it against his skin until it was firmly in place.

“Aren't you forgetting something?” Ben questioned just as Hux was lowering his shirt.

“What?” Hux paused, looking up at him, slightly confused.

“You have to kiss it or it won't get better.” Ben pinched his lips together to try to keep from smiling as he spoke while Hux's expression straightened out, mouth turning down slightly as he looked thoroughly not amused.

Contrary to what he'd expected from the look on his face, Hux leaned forward, softly pressing his lips to the bandage before pulling back, lowering Ben's shirt.

“Better?”

Ben's breath was caught in his throat, so he just nodded. He hadn't thought Hux to actually do it when he suggested it, he'd just been teasing. Now, he was the one getting teased and he was absolutely not complaining. After their first meeting, he'd thought that Hux would be easy to fluster, and he had been, but he also knew exactly what to do to keep Ben on his toes, giving just as good as he got.

“Good. I suppose I have to make you dinner now so you don't sue me for damages.” Hux stood quickly, but not quickly enough that Ben missed the pink color spreading down the side of his neck.

“I would nev-” He cut himself off before he could talk himself out of a delicious meal. “You know what? I would. You definitely have to make me dinner.” Ben finally found his voice as he followed the man out of the small room

They chatted a little, but mostly Ben just watched Hux work. Dinner was more simple than it had been the other couple of times he'd eaten with Hux, a simple steak and roasted potatoes, but it smelled so good he couldn't wait for it to be done. As usual, Hux filled the plates before delivering them to the table, as concerned about the presentation as the taste and though Ben was pretty sure he did that every time, it still made him feel kind of special.

“No wine?” Ben questioned when Hux sat at the table immediately. They'd only eaten together twice, but they'd had wine both times, so he'd been somewhat expecting it.

“I'm not a lush. Drink your water.” Hux took a bite, ignoring his pout.

“Yes, sir.” Ben snarked.

---

Hux coughed on the food in his mouth as Ben called him 'sir', the word leaving his lips sounding entirely inappropriate. He followed his own advice and took a large gulp of water, ignoring the amused look on Ben's face.

“Do you want me to stay after dinner? I can help clean the mess out of the hallway.” Ben changed the subject, the hint of a smile still at the corner of his mouth.

“Forget it, I'm just going to hire someone to fix it. Just work on getting those boxes out of my office.” Hux watched as Ben took the first bite of his steak, his eyes closing in an exaggerated way. He took a second to moan and Hux's hand tightened around his fork. When he was done swallowing, he spoke.

“I was going to visit Mrs. Kanata tomorrow, want to come with me?” Ben offered, sounding a little unsure.

“I have papers to grade.” Hux told him plainly and it was the truth. Honestly, he would have considered it if he only had tests, but papers took longer to read. It was going to take him most of the night and half of the next day to finish and he wanted to be done by the time Ben was back so they could work on his shelves. After all, Ben had gone through with his end of their agreement, at least to the best of his ability.

“Got it.” Ben went back to eating and the lack of conversation unsettled Hux. Normally, he liked the silence, but Ben's chatter was endearing and quite often entertaining, though he'd never admit it out loud.

“Maybe next time.” He conceded and Ben smiled.

“Yeah. I bet she'd like to meet you. Maybe we can show her some pictures of what you've done around the house- She always talked about fixing the place up, I know she'll love what you've done with the greenhouse..”

Hux listened to him speak as he ate, telling him all about the woman he'd grown up next to, that he'd always considered his grandmother since he'd never known his own. If it were anyone else droning on about themselves, Hux would have tuned them out a long time ago, but he found himself listening to every word. Intently.

---

Ben gabbed on about his family, watching Hux's face to make sure he wasn't getting annoyed with him talking so much. He shifted from topic to topic, spurred on by the way Hux's usually hard face softened slightly as he continued.

“Anyway, that's pretty much my entire life story, so..” Ben propped himself up on his elbows. “What about your family?” He would have had to be blind to miss the way Hux's face tensed up immediately at the question.

“I don't have any family.” Hux answered quickly, standing to take their plates away, leaving Ben at the table with no clue what to say. He made a mental note to not bring up the subject again. Hux set the dishes in the sink, pausing without turning back to him.

---

He'd snapped at Ben without even thinking and now, standing over the sink, he was regretting it. He just hadn't expected the question and he didn't know what else to say. Family was a sore subject. As the plates clinked against the porcelain sink, the sound echoed through the quiet room. He hadn't meant to to make Ben uncomfortable and the silence was uncomfortable, so he said the first thing that came to his mind.

“I'm thinking about getting a cat.”

He turned, leaning against the sink, trying to release the tension that had suddenly rooted itself in his shoulders. Oddly enough, seeing Ben's face was helping.

“I love cats.” Ben added helpfully with a smile and in an instant, everything felt normal again.

Chapter Text

The shelves went up with relative ease thanks to Hux's expertise. In the finished garage there weren't many obstacles to overcome, it was just simple measuring, cutting and fixing to the walls, and they finished in only a few hours.

“So, what is staying and what is going?” Hux asked, remembering that Ben had said they were getting rid of a lot of the items.

“This stuff over here is going on the shelves and that..” He pointed to the pile closest to the door. “Is being donated. Someone should be here in a few hours to load it up.”

“You're donating this?” Hux ran his fingers along an old desk, kneeling down to have a better look at it.

“Yeah. It's just too big.” Ben explained.

“It's beautiful.” Hux remarked as he slid a drawer open with the tiniest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “Hand made?”

“Yeah, my father built it.” Ben watched Hux's expression as he admired the handiwork. “You could have it, if you want.”

Hux's head perked up. “..Are you sure? You could probably sell this for quite a bit..”

“That's too much work. I'd rather you have it.”

“..Thank you.” Hux accepted hesitantly like he wasn't sure that Ben was serious.

“We can keep it here until I get your office empty. Mrs. Kanata picked out some things, so I figured I could go get those and when the guys get here to take this stuff, they can empty out your office too.”

They followed Ben's plan and by the end of the evening, Hux's office was empty except for his new desk and Ben's garage was well-organized. The man's attic had been temporarily patched and was going to be fixed the next weekend and Ben was a little disappointed that he no longer had an easy excuse to spend time with Hux.

That night after dinner, he knocked on Hux's door with a bottle of wine in hand. When Hux answered, he held it up proudly.

“What is that?” Hux asked, unimpressed.

“It's wine.”

“I can see that. Why did you bring me wine?” He questioned, but let Ben through.

“To drink.” Ben turned back to face him as he walked through to the kitchen. “Duh.”

---

Hux followed him, watching curiously as he grabbed two glasses and the opener from the counter before walking back into the living room, flopping down onto the couch.

“Are you coming?” Ben opened the bottle, pouring it into the glasses.

Hux simply stared at him for a moment before joining him on the couch, accepting a glass as it was handed to him. When Ben holds up a glass for a toast, Hux follows suit. “What are we toasting?”

“A job well done.” Ben grinned.

“You fell through my floor.”

“A job.. Sort of done.”

Hux shrugged and clinked his glass against Ben's, taking a small sip. “Mm, that's quite nice.” He said, surprised. “Did you pick this?”

“No, it was my mom. It's her favorite.” Ben smiled at him. “It's the wine from her and my dad's wedding. She always has a few bottles on hand.”

“Well, she has excellent taste.” He took another, more bold sip, tasting it thoroughly before swallowing.

“I'll tell her you said so.” Ben slipped his shoes off and propped his feet up on the coffee table, getting comfortable.

They talked about a lot of things as they finished their first glass and Hux found himself loosening up, relaxing against the arm of the couch, his feet spread out, stopping just short of Ben's space. Ben told him about how the first time his parents tried to get married, it had been interrupted. It was a complete disaster and they waited three years to try again, but the second time had been perfect. It was an incredibly romantic story and Hux smiled while listening to it.

His own mother was a housekeeper, forced into a an affair by her employer- An affair which resulted in his birth.. But that didn't seem like it would quite fit the mood, so he kept it to himself.

Nearing the end of his second glass, Hux became strangely fixated on the proximity of his foot to Ben's leg. The couch was short enough that if he just lifted his foot and reached it out slightly, he'd be able to run it up the man's thigh. Ben wouldn't stop him.. He knows the other man finds him attractive, their entire relationship had been built on thinly disguised flirting and teasing.

He could inch his way higher and higher, pressing the ball of his foot to the front of Ben's jeans, kneading him through the thick fabric. Hux could probably get him off that way if Ben had the patience to let him, but somehow he didn't pin Ben as the patient type.

“Hux.”

“Sorry, what?” Hux blinked, having completely spaced out.

“I said 'I'm out of wine'.” Ben wiggled his empty glass. “We need another bottle.”

“I know just the one.” Hux finished his glass in a single gulp before moving into the kitchen to grab a bottle from the cabinet. “This,” Hus presented the bottle. “Is my favorite.”

Ben tried a taste and smiled. “It's really good.”

“It better be good, it's six hundred dollars a bottle.” Hux took a slow sip, savoring the flavor while Ben coughed, covering his mouth.

“What?!” Ben stared at the glass and then back at him. “You should be saving this for like.. A special occasion or something.”

“Why wait? Today's as good as any and it's not doing me any good sitting on the shelf.”

---

Ben watched Hux tip the glass back slowly, eyes closed with his head rested on the back of the couch. It's the most relaxed he's ever seen him and Ben doubts it's the wine, at least not entirely. He'd had two glasses with the man before with dinner and he was only slightly less tightly wound than normal.

“So, tell me something about you.” Ben turned to face him, drawing his knee underneath himself as he shifted.

Hux's eyebrows scrunched up a little as he thought about what to share. “I love to write. A few years ago, I even published a novel.”

“Really?” Ben leaned in a little, intrigued. “What's it about?”

“It's a tragic, wartime romance about the relationship between a commander and one of his soldiers.”

“Can I read it?” Ben laid his head on his arm on the back of the couch as Hux got up and walked over to the bookshelf on the other side of the room, pulling the relatively thin book from it's slot. When Hux sat back down, he kept the book in his own hands, opening the front cover.

“Please do not be mistaken in thinking that you are about to read a love story. For while there is love, there is no happy ending.” Hux began and Ben found himself immediately captivated by the cadence and timbre of his voice. “For now, we leave talk of endings to recall the beginning- A warm August night in Kittery, Maine.”

---

Hux began to read out loud, enjoying the way Ben's eyes were fixed on him. He knew that it would take approximately three hours for him to finish the book, since he'd read it several times in its completion before publishing. He glanced at the pages, but knew most of the story by heart, leaving his eyes free to look up to gauge Ben's reaction without stopping or slowing.

Ben was different from Hux in that he didn't hide his emotions. Every painful misstep and every ill-fated confrontation had him wide-eyed on the edge of his seat. Toward the end, Hux thought he might even start crying, but he held it together. When Hux closed the book, Ben sighed heavily against his arm.

“That was so good..” Ben commended with a semisweet smile.

“Thank you.” Hux smiled. “I'm glad you liked it.”

“I loved it.” Ben corrected.

Hux didn't know what to say. He'd never been good at accepting praise, so he just nodded. They'd finished their wine about halfway through the book and it had settled in him in just the right way. That, combined with Ben's adoring gaze had him feeling warm and comfortable.

So comfortable, that when Ben leaned toward him, he shifted his legs to the outside to give him room instead of questioning it and when Ben's hand wrapped itself around the back of his neck, he stretched himself upward. Hux parted his lips in anticipation of meeting Ben's and he dropped his head down.

He considered himself a proud man, but he knew when to admit he was wrong- Ben was incredibly patient. The kiss was a slow, sensual drag of their lips and tongues, completely unhurried. Hux brought a hand up to Ben's hair, lacing it through the black strands as Ben's hand slid from his neck, down his chest and around his waist, sliding under his shirt in a way Hux is certain is accidental since he only used the hold to pull Hux closer instead of exploring his skin.

Ben pulled back slightly, smiling against his lips and Hux opened his eyes. When Ben's eyes blink open to meet his, his breath caught in his throat at the look of complete earnestness. He was hit suddenly by just how sweet and perfect Ben was and all he could think about was that as much as he'd liked the kiss, he didn't deserve someone like that.

He couldn't let himself get too close to Ben or it would just end up like it always did. Eventually, his cynicism and need for control would wear away at Ben's youthful exuberance and he'd decide that he couldn't spend any more time trying to fix what Hux's father had broken.

Hux dropped his hand down to Ben's arm, shifting himself to sitting as he ducked his head to the side. “It's getting late..” Hux tried to push him away in a way that wasn't harsh or hurtful, but even his polite rejection obviously stung.

“Yeah..” Ben reluctantly agreed, standing awkwardly. “Goodnight.”

Chapter Text

The week had been a busy one, or at least that's what Hux kept telling himself when he thought about why he hadn't seen Ben since the previous weekend. He should be happy that the man hadn't come over- He wasn't sure if he would be able to handle Ben being upset with him or worse, if he wasn't.

The entire time he was cooking, he couldn't focus. He'd almost burnt the roast and he did burn the carrots, thinking too much about if Ben was ever going to speak to him again to cook properly. Finally, the doorbell rang and he was saved from his own imagination.

“You were supposed to be here an hour ago.” He answered without looking, thinking it was Phasma, who was already late for dinner and hadn't called.

“I was?” Ben asked, confused as he walked into the room.

Hux stiffened, caught off guard by the deep voice. “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

“Oh.” Ben paused. “Look, I wanted to talk about what happened, okay? Just.. Was I wrong?” Hux just stared at him. “I thought there was something here.” He motioned between the two of them as he took a step closer.

Hux sighed. “I'm sorry, Ben-”

“Well I'm not.” Ben moved closer, wrapping a hand around the back of Hux's neck. “I like you and I think you like me.”

“I do like you.” Hux admitted as he brought his hand up to Ben's wrist, closing his eyes as Ben leaned forward.

“But?” Hux could feel Ben's breath on his lips.

“I can't do this.” He said, but he didn't pull back.

“You don't have to do anything, just.. Let me.” Ben brought his other hand up to the other side of Hux's neck as he closed the gap.

Every instinct in Hux's body was telling him to push Ben away, but Ben's grip was strong and oddly comforting and he found himself pushing those thoughts aside instead. He let the man kiss him, his own hands sliding across Ben's sides to grab his shirt. Ben licked at his lips as he opened them without hesitation, taking Ben's tongue into his mouth with a sigh.

“Ben..” Hux broke away for a moment before Ben kissed him again with more intensity and for a moment, Hux let him. “Ben, wait-”

---

“Stop.” Ben tightened his grip as he turned Hux, pressing him into the wall a little harder than he'd intended, looking him in the eye. “Stop thinking so much.” He could practically hear the gears grinding in Hux's mind and he knew that if he just got out of his own head things would be much easier for them both.

Hux gasped against his lips as he aligned their bodies, sliding one of his knees between the man's thighs. A little more certain that Hux wasn't going to pull away again, Ben dropped his hands, grabbing him at the waist.

Ben had wanted to feel Hux's slim hips under his palms again since the first time they'd touched and he wasn't disappointed by the sensation. Hux was soft and lean, but he could feel his sharp hipbones jutting out as the man moved his hips forward to meet his touch.

When Ben rolled his hips just a tiny bit, Hux's grip on his shirt tightened and their mouths broke apart so that Hux could whisper against his cheek. “Ben..”

Ben kissed down the side of his neck, determined to win Hux over and until the other man actually told him to stop, he wasn't going to. “Unless you're going to invite me upstairs.. Shut up.” He muttered into the man's pale skin with a small smile on his lips.

“Let's go upstairs.” Hux breathed out and Ben's head snapped back, looking at him with blatant disbelief. After a moment of taking in Hux's expression- His hooded eyes and red, parted lips, Ben leaned in, pressing their lips together in a rush. When he broke away, he stepped back, motioning for Hux to move first.

“Lead the way..” He smiled, smacking Hux on the ass as he walked past him, barely able to keep his hands to himself as they climbed the stairs. Inside Hux's bedroom Ben pulled the man back against his chest, taking his ear between his teeth, teasing as his hands pushed up at the hem of his shirt.

---

Hux leaned his head back onto Ben's shoulder, the feeling of strong hands on his sides more than enough to push thoughts of regret and doubt from his mind, at least for the time being. He almost groaned at the loss of Ben's mouth on his as he slipped the shirt over his head, but it wasn't long before it was back, pulling the skin of his shoulder between his lips as he ground their hips together.

He bites his lip as he feels how hard Ben is, pressed against his back. When the younger man's hands ran down his chest, fingers deftly unbuttoning his slacks, Hux reached back, wrapping a hand around the back of Ben's neck, digging into the skin as a hand slipped inside his pants. Ben palmed him through his briefs and Hux brought his free hand up to slip the pants and underwear out of the way, dropping them to the floor without hesitation before turning in Ben's grasp.

Their lips connected, heated and rushed as Hux fumbled with removing Ben's fitted tank top over his broad shoulders, raking his fingers down the finally exposed skin of his chest. Ben growled, taking Hux's bottom lip between his teeth, dragging him ever closer as he reached down to undo his own jeans.

Hux wastes no time wrapping his hand around Ben's cock, moaning against his lips at the size of it- It wasn't very thick- In fact, it was thinner than Hux's, but it's long and Hux could only imagine how it would feel deep inside of him. He gave a gentle tug and started to step backward toward the bed, dragging Ben by his cock, delicately of course and Ben kept Hux close as the walk, an arm wrapped around his waist.

Hux let his knees be knocked out from under him as he hit the mattress, the position putting the other man's hard on only inches away from his mouth. He licked is lips before hunching his shoulders forward, swirling his tongue around the reddened tip, both of them letting out a moan at the same time.

---

Ben clenched his fists to keep them from yanking Hux forward as his cock twitched at the sensation of Hux's mouth around him. He wasn't sure how he did it, but somehow he managed to place a hand on the man's shoulder, slowly pushing him away, instantly regretting the decision.

“Next time..” He leaned down to kiss Hux once more before he pushed him backward, sending him crawling onto the bed. “Open up for me, Hux.” His hands on Hux's knobby knees pressed them apart, meeting no resistance and he smiled as he kissed and licked his way up the man's thigh, taking his time to taste and mark the perfect flesh.

He kept his hands on Hux's thighs, feeling them tremble beneath his grip as his tongue began to slip inside of him, carefully and softly prodding him open. With Hux's skin wet and his muscles loosening, Ben joined his tongue with a finger, and then two, the soft whines and whimpers that Hux is failing to hide, washing over him like the highest praise.

When he pulls back, he could see Hux twitching, missing him being inside of him already, but as much as he wanted to spend the entire night, tasting the man, he wanted to be inside of him for real. He placed a quick kiss to the tip of Hux's cock as he moved up the man's body, wishing he had the patience to take the time to worship Hux's body the way it deserved to be worshiped. Next time, he told himself.

“Do you have..?”

---

“In the drawer.” Hux guided him, though he wouldn't admit that the only reason he had condoms was for easy clean up with his toys, because he could hardly remember the last time he had sex with another person. Somehow, he thought that might ruin the mood.

He watched intently as Ben rolled the rubber over his length, coating himself in a liberal amount of lubrication before bring his slick hand back to Hux's hole. He licks his lip and Ben's fingers move in him one last time before they're replaced with the blunt tip of his cock. Ben kissed him again and his own hands moved into the messy black hair above him, keeping him close as he arched off the bed, taking him in, inch by inch.

Ben's body was shaking with the effort it took to control himself and ever tremor made Hux want to tell him to just let go, that he could handle it, but he also wanted to feel Ben in him forever, so he held his tongue. Instead, he pushed back against him slightly, moaning into his mouth at the feel of him so deep and thankfully, Ben got the message.

Ben move his hands to Hux's hips, guiding him back down onto him as he bucked upward and Hux let out an undignified yelp that was promptly swallowed by Ben's full lips against his. He keened and whined as Ben rocked into him, the sound of skin meeting skin echoing through the air, accompanying him.

He relaxed into the movements, letting his head fall back against the pillow and Ben's lips broke away, but he didn't back off- He stayed, foreheads pressed together, noses rubbing while his body shifted against the sheets as Ben fucked into him. Ben's eyes never left him, brown eyes staring into blue as Hux came apart, losing himself entirely. He'd never felt so connected to another person before- Never felt like it was so right as it did with Ben.

As he came, legs wrapped tight around Ben's strong waist, his grip begging the man not to stop, he knew he was too far gone. There was no way he could be without Ben's touch, without his smile- Without his seemingly endless optimism. They'd known each other such a short amount of time, but he was already so hopelessly lost and as he felt Ben's hips stilling, body collapsing on top of his own, he knew he wasn't the only one.

Damn his father and damn his own mind. He was going to make this work.