Chapter Text
Meg watches, while the prison guards take apart the box of chocolates she brought, sardonic smile firmly on her face to hide that she’s a tiny bit nervous about this. They’re thorough, lift the plastic part in which all the pieces sit, to look underneath it. Make sure there is no false bottom. They unwrap one of the pieces to check if it’s really chocolate. It is. One of the guards moves to put it in his mouth.
Meg lifts a finger. “Eh, eh! I brought this for my boyfriend. If you’re lucky and nice, he shares with you later, but this is a present and I’ll get it to him in all the pieces!”
To her relief, the guard actually obeys, wraps the chocolate again and puts it back. “Alright, ma’am,” he says. “You’re good to go.”
“Thank you.” With another smile and a wink she steps past him and enters the visitors part of the prison.
Balthazar, Castiel’s friend, is kind of handsome, she thinks. Or maybe it’s just that he gets led into the room in handcuffs. That makes everyone a bit hotter in her eyes. She smiles at him and he looks a bit confused for a moment, before he smiles back. There had been no way of telling him that she’d show up posing as his girlfriend, but Cas had assured them that Balthazar would play along.
“Ah,” he says, while they push him into the chair opposite her, “it’s you. Can you believe that they thought I was making a joke, when I asked them which of my girlfriends was here? No one else has shown up yet, though. I guess that’s not a good sign. My heart has been broken. Several times. I’m glad at least someone is loyal.” He says it all with barely a pause for air and a smile on his face. Meg decides she likes him.
“Of course I’ll always love you, honey.” She tries to make it sound sincere, but she’s aware that everything she says sounds a bit sarcastic most of the time. Hopefully it’s enough.
“Ah, that’s balm for my broken heart, dear. I love you too, mon petit papillon.” He shoots her a wink and then it’s on. The guards have stepped back to the door, but they’re still in the room and can hear every word they say. So the goal is to make them mentally check out, before any important information is conveyed. They try to trump each other with ridiculous nicknames and then switch to talking about kinky sex they supposedly had. Meg uses it as an excuse to lean closer and lower her voice. “Those handcuffs really suit you, you know?” she purrs.
Balthazar grins and lifts both eyebrows, then drops his own voice to a whisper. “I’m starting to wish you really were my girlfriend. I’d let you tie me up.”
“Sorry, Bartleby. Not sure how much Castiel would like that.”
When she mentions the name of his friend, Balthazar’s whole face lights up. “Oh, I wouldn’t put it beyond him to like it. Do you have a message from him?”
Meg grins and keeps the flirtatious tone of voice, while she slides the box of chocolates over. “He’s sending his regards. You should only eat the ones in the lower left corner. Generously share the rest with the guards and your cellmate.”
“Oh, I’m touched, Choupinette. You shouldn’t have!”
“Anything for you, sweetie.”
They sweet talk a bit longer, and when Meg leaves, she’s pretty sure that Balthazar has a good idea about what the plan for tonight is and what he’s supposed to do. The guards look like they’re glad to get rid of her.
“Does it have to be Castiel?” Lucifer’s voice can be heard outside of Michael’s office in the archangel villa. For a moment Dean debates, if he really should enter. Watching the two oldest Archangels fight is never fun. But he has news that may even help to lighten the mood. So he opens the door.
“What’s wrong with Castiel? I thought you said he’s doing well with every task we give him.” Michael is sitting behind his desk, Lucifer is pacing in front of it. Sam had apparently been right, and the guy really is a bit antsy about the prison break that’s supposed to happen soon. Dean hadn’t expected someone with a body count as high as Lucifer’s to worry about getting someone out of prison. But shooting people is probably more straightforward.
When Dean steps in, his boyfriend greets him with a smile and gestures for him to wait.
“Yes, of course, he’s doing great.” Lucifer doesn’t even look at Dean. “But apparently the shock of almost getting himself killed has worn off by now, and …” He gestures in an exasperated way. “He has no respect at all! He always has his own ideas about how things are supposed to be done. He doesn’t follow orders he thinks are stupid. He rolls his fucking eyes at me!”
Dean grins. That sounds like Cas.
There’s an amused twinkle in Michael’s eyes, too. He leans back in his chair. “And that doesn’t sound familiar to you at all?”
Lucifer blinks at him. “What do you mean?”
“No respect,” Michael says. “Has his own ideas. Doesn’t follow orders well. Really, Lucifer? You know no one else who does that?”
By now Dean is snickering, which gets him an angry side glance from Lucifer.
“He’s nothing like me!” The second oldest Archangel protests after a while.
Michael lifts an eyebrow in that way Dean likes, because it makes him look like the badass mafia boss he is. For a moment, there’s silence, then Lucifer huffs. “Do I absolutely have to work with him?”
“Yes,” Michael says. “We’re getting his friend out of prison, he should be part of it.”
Lucifer hmpfs. “Fine. But if he does anything that endangers the mission, I’m going to shoot him.”
“Suit yourself. You’re the one who’ll have to explain that to Meg,” Michael says without the slightest change of expression.
Dean isn’t quite sure, if they’re joking, but he hopes they do. He kinda likes Cas by now, even though his customers would probably not be sad to never see the guy again.
“You could also try and explain your orders. Convince him, they’re a good idea. That always works with you.”
“He’s nothing like–” Lucifer interrupts himself and throws Michael a bitchface that Dean is almost sure he got from Sam. “Whatever. Fuck you.” With that he walks out.
As soon as Lucifer slams the door after him, Dean can’t keep the grin off his face any longer. “Little brothers,” he says. “Always a joy.”
That makes Michael smile. “Such a joy. And what do you have for me, Dean?”
Dean walks around the desk, the papers he brought clearly visible in his hands. “Do I have to have a reason to come and see you?”
Michael’s eyes flick towards the papers for a moment, but when Dean puts those to the side and half sits on the desk in front of Michael, his boyfriend looks back at him. “Do I need to take a break from work?”
“You always do.” Dean leans down to steal a kiss. When he tries to straighten up again, Michael grabs the front of his shirt and kisses him back thoroughly. Only when Dean’s head is spinning a bit, does he let go.
“Tell me one thing, though,” Michael says. “Is it good news?”
Dean grins and lets his legs fall apart in case Michael wants to come a bit closer. “It totally is. It’s about prison guard Harvey.” The guy comes to Dean’s bar now and then and Dean has done his best to become his friend. By now Harvey is bitching to him about work all the time.
“That sounds very good.” Michael shoves his chair back a bit and gets up to step between Dean’s legs. He leans in, placing his hands on the desktop on both sides of Dean.
Dean wraps his arms around his boyfriend. “Mhm. We collected every scrap of what he said about his colleagues – we, that is Sasha and me. And yesterday night we sat and put it all together and I think we have a pretty good idea about when the shift changes happen and how many people there usually are. Not to mention their habits and where they spend the most time.”
Michael smiles. “Very good work.”
“Of course. I’m awesome.”
“Can’t argue with that.”
Meg hates waiting. Which means that of course she’s the one stuck with being the escape route, keeping the getaway car ready. To have something to do she mentally goes through the plan again.
The chocolates have been filled with a drug that makes you sleepy and dulls your senses. It won’t knock anyone out, just make sure there’s a bunch of drowsy guards that are easier to handle. Hopefully a lot of them have eaten Balthazar’s gift.
Lucifer and Castiel are getting in via the van of the guy who brings food every night so there’s breakfast for the inmates. That guy hadn’t been hard to bribe, he’s barely making a living wage.
As if that’s their cue, there’s a bit of static in the receiver in Meg’s ear and then she hears Lucifer’s voice: “We’re in.” So that part worked out.
Now they’ll have to sneak past half-asleep guards.
“This way.” Lucifer’s voice again.
“Are you sure?” That’s Castiel.
“I swear, one day I’m going to stab you. Or I could rig you with explosives and make you go splat. That could be fun, too.”
Meg sighs. Of course they’ll do that while bickering. “Boss,” she says, “if you have to fantasize about killing my boyfriend, could you at least not do so out loud?”
That makes Lucifer snicker. “Where’s the fun in that?”
For a while there is silence, though. Then Lucifer again: “Me right, you left.”
“Alright.”
After that there’s only a word here and there to convey information as fast as possible. Meg imagines them knocking out some already drowsy guards.
“Lucifer, catch.” The jingle of keys.
For two guys that bicker relentlessly, they’re working surprisingly well together.
“No, not that way. This way is faster.” Lucifer again.
“How do you know?” Meg smiles at how irritated Castiel sounds.
“Can’t you just accept that I know?”
“I’d like to know how accurate your information is.”
“That’s a fancy way of implying that I’m ill prepared.”
“As far as I know, your brother has tried to procure a groundplan and failed.”
“I don’t need a groundplan, I’ve spent quite some time here.”
“Oh. I didn’t know.”
“No shit.”
Meg hadn’t known that either. And judging by how grumpy Lucifer sounds, the memories the place stirs up aren’t good. That explains a lot. Among other things it explain why Lucifer was sent for this mission, even though it’s a comparably low-level job. He’s the only one who knows the layout, since it had been made sure that Balthazar and Castiel would get seperated and Castiel had served time in a different prison.
“Alright”, Lucifer finally says. “Here we go.”
Castiel holds his breath, when Lucifer unlocks the cell door, half convinced that this is too good to be true and it won’t be Balthazar waiting for them on the other side. He’s still worried that he made the wrong decision by putting his trust in his cousins instead of the FBI. That Balthazar will suffer the consequences of that. But then the door swings open and there’s his friend looking up from a book. On the other bunk his cellmate is snoring peacefully. “That took you long enough.”
“Oh great.” Out of the corner of his vision Castiel can see Lucifer roll his eyes. “Now I have two snarky assholes.”
“Oh no.” Balthazar gets up and walks towards them with a smile on his lips. “I was talking to Cassie here. Whoever you are, I’m very grateful for getting me out.” He gives Lucifer a once over that Castiel knows way to well.
“No flirting, Balthazar.”
Lucifer grins. “Well, that’s more like it. Now let’s catch our ride back.” He still looks uneasy, though. If Castiel hadn’t known that Lucifer was in a relationship with a man he would’ve put it down to Balthazar hitting on him. But as it is, there seems to be something else wrong. Now that he thinks of it, Lucifer had been extra grumpy the whole time.
Still, he says nothing and follows.
Lucifer’s skin is crawling with how much he hates this place. He hides it behind as much sass as possible, but his hair is standing on end and now and then he thinks he can hear a door falling shut, see the lights getting darker, hear Alastair’s voice. This shouldn’t still be haunting him, but there it is.
That’s why when Alastair is suddenly standing before them Lucifer thinks he’s maybe just seeing things at first. “Hello, Nick,” the guard says. “Didn’t expect to see you back.”
Of course he hasn’t eaten from Balthazar’s gift. He probably never eats anything sweet. It’s debatable, if he actually ever eats.
“Cassandra,” Lucifer says, eyes intently on Alastair. He probably couldn’t look away, if he wanted to. “Get your friend out of here. Take the corridor to the left, then right, then you’re back to where we started.”
“We should stay together,” Castiel protests.
“No we shouldn’t, trust me.”
Lucifer expects another protest, but there must’ve been something in his voice that makes Castiel obey. He hears footsteps receding, then he and Alastair are alone.
“You know,” the guard says, “when I saw it was you, I came here alone for old times sake. I mean, backup will be here soon and your friend’s won’t get away either, but until then we can have a bit of fun, can’t we?”
“Oh yes, we will.” Lucifer doesn’t go for a gun, but for his knife. He wants to hear the fucker scream. “Because you know what? I’ve learned a lot since then.”
With that he lounges.
In the end he does hear Alastair scream.
Meg hates waiting even more, when she knows things are going wrong. That’s why she heaves a huge sigh of relief, when she sees two figures running towards her car. There’s no sign of the food van anywhere, which is another thing that didn’t go as planned, because it had been supposed to be their way out, too. But they’re out. That’s all that counts.
Except that Lucifer is missing.
Castiel opens the passenger door and drops on the passenger seat. Balthazar does the same in the back of the car. “I shouldn’t have allowed him to stay back,” Castiel says without preamble.
Meg starts the car. “You can’t allow him anything, he was the one giving the orders.”
“I should’ve–”
Meg leans over, roughly kisses him on the mouth. “You did what you were supposed to do. Now shut up, Clarence.”
He does until she starts driving away. “Aren’t we waiting for him?” he asks. “Maybe there’s still a chance he–”
“He isn’t coming,” Meg interrupts him. She’s heard all of Alastair’s screams and then the shouts of the other guards.
“Is he–”
“No, they arrested him I think.”
“Shit.” Castiel drags his hands over his face.
“It’s not your fault. You give the big boss your report and then he’ll deal with it. Everything will be alright. Don’t get your panties in a twist.” While she’s speaking those words, there’s an icy lump in her throat and she too can’t shake the feeling that she failed her boss somehow.
“Bad timing maybe,” comes Balthazar’s voice from the back. “But I’ve found the best way to deal with a mess is lots of alcohol and … you know ... maybe a ménage à trois? So care to go for a drink later? The three of us?”
The hope in his voice startles a laugh out of Meg. “Aren’t you smooth?”
“I’m on board with a lot of alcohol,” Castiel says.
That makes Meg grin. “I’m on board with whatever as soon as we’ve put the unpleasantness that is our report behind us.”
Sam can’t sleep. He barely ever can, when Lucifer is on a mission. And by now it’s way past the time he’s supposed to be back. So Sam is sitting in front of the TV and zapping through news channels.
“... Purgatory Prison,” a news anchor says, and Sam stops half way to pushing another button. That’s it. “The man brutally butchered a guard with a knife and was arrested shortly after. One inmate got away. It’s still unclear, if he had more help in his escape, since all security footage has been deleted due to a failure in the system that probably occurred as a side effect of a power cut later this night.”
Someone got arrested? That can’t be Lucifer. Lucifer is one of the most capable criminals Sam knows. Lucifer doesn’t get caught. And why would he stop to murder a guard? Though why would Castiel stop and murder a guard for that matter? Had anyone else been part of that mission?
The sound of a key in the lock of the front door makes Sam jump to his feet. This must be Lucifer and he probably has a hell of a story to tell. He runs into the hallway to greet him.
It’s Dean who steps in, though. His hair is a mess as if he only just got out of bed, and he’s carrying a bottle of whiskey. “Hey, Sammy. Now don’t look so disappointed to see me.”
“I’m sorry,” Sam says, worry twisting his gut. “It’s just … In the news … I …”
“I know. That’s why Mike woke me up to check on you.” He lifts the bottle. “And I thought you might need this.”
Now Sam feels sick. “So he really got arrested.”
“Yeah, but they’re already working on getting him out.” Dean does his reassuring big brother smile and pats his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. It’s only a matter of time.”
Of course he’s right about that. If anyone can get someone out of prison who had been caught red handed at a murder, it’s the Archangels. Sam relaxes a little bit. “But why?” he still asks. “Why did he murder that guard?”
Dean shrugs. “Beats me. Something Mike doesn’t like to talk about, that’s all I got. I’m sure we’ll get more answers tomorrow.”
Sam doesn’t want answers tomorrow, he wants answers now. Though he settles for a glass of whiskey in the end. What else is he going to do than wait?