Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If someone had gotten guts enough to tell me that my life was based on lies, deception and wrongdoing, I wouldn’t have understood and probably socked them in the process.  After all, how was I supposed to comprehend something like that when my life had always consisted of the same anger and bitterness? I’d never known anything different; it was what I’d been raised to do and told was right, so who did I listen to?  The ones who had raised me, or a stranger off the street?

A fleeting thought in my mind once questioned if that was possibly why that boy was so obsessed with me – as if I was something he could fix.  I didn’t need fixing, though; I was perfectly fine as I was. I was normal. Life for me was normal, even if it weren’t sunshine and lollipops like so many others out there.

The things I did realise were wrong, however, was the way I would harm myself every day, tell myself how worthless and disgusting I was – how I would allow others to use my body whenever they felt like it, and how I would attempt to take my own life at times.

Even so, I had a purpose for living.  I knew I did. The only purpose I could think of was that I was meant to be this way.  There were times where I would look up at the stars and try to understand why I had been cursed with this life, but every single time, the stars would stare back at me, mocking me as if to say, why are you dead yet?

So, I suppose, as I sit here and tap my knuckles against the hard wooden coffee table, I should begin my story and allow you to understand what a fucked up, worthless piece-of-trash-whore-only-good-for-sucking-cock I am.

Whether or not you judge me, I don’t care.  I stopped caring about being judged many years ago.   

When Silver first met Gold, it was an almost completely random encounter.  He had just gotten to Cherrygrove City with his newly-stolen Totodile, attempting to evade the police search that had just begun.  He knew as soon as he had laid eyes on the black-haired male that he didn’t like the other; this boy was too extraverted for his comfort, and the way he had smiled so sincerely at the start of the encounter only succeeded in making him angrier as the other clearly dared have the nerve to look down on him.

“I don’t care about weak things...” Silver muttered as he tried to push past the older boy.  “They have no place in this world. Only the strongest matter. Get out of my way.”

“No.” Gold refused to move out of the redhead’s way.  He was without ill intentions towards the other, but there was something about this boy that made his stomach churn, as if he could sense that the thief was some sort of catalyst and he’d do well to stay away if he could help it.  “Why don’t you return that Totodile? It’s not yours.”

“It is now.” Silver snarled as he brushed Gold’s hand off his shoulder.  

Gold’s expression hardened as he realised what he needed to do.  Though he was still only a new trainer, he had to do something to stop the other – he just hoped that his best efforts would be enough.  He reached down to his belt to grab his new red-and-white capsule. He fumbled with it slightly, almost hesitant to throw it at the thoughts of what could possibly go wrong with engaging in someone who could be more dangerous than he was realising.  He threw the ball, revealing his starter. “Cyndaquil, let’s stop him.”

Silver snorted as he released his own Pokemon from its confines.  It opened its blue, crocodile-like jaws and snapped at air before they remained opened and ready for battle.  

“I think it’s clear who has the advantage here...” Silver muttered.  “Totodile, destroy it with Water Gun.”

At its master’s command, Cyndaquil dodged the attack and retaliated with a Tackle.  Totodile hit the ground with a small grunt before it pushed itself back onto its feet.

“Advantage or not, I won’t let you take that Pokemon,” Gold said.  “It’s not yours.”

“I don’t care.  Bite attack, Totodile.” Silver snarled as his Pokemon missed its target completely and hit the ground hard after another Tackle sent it flying.

The battle was over before it had even begun.  Totodile lay crumpled in the dirt, its eyes squeezed shut and its breathing heavy.  It wasn’t moving except for the harsh rhythm of its breathing pushing its chest up and down.  Silver’s eyes widened as the realisation hit him. He had lost – lost to a nobody.  

What a weakling you are... That voice that haunted his dreams at night echoed through Silver’s mind, and it took everything he had not to flinch at it.   Always crying...  Emotions are weak...  Bonds are weak... The world has no place for the weak...

  “...” Silver recalled his defeated Totodile.  Without another word, he shoved past Gold roughly too lost in his own mind to have noticed the taller male was no longer trying to stop him from advancing further into the city and instead was leaning down to pick something up from the ground.    

“Silver...”

It was hearing his name murmured that snapped the redhead back to reality.  Silver turned to look back at the other, and his eyes widened once again as he saw his trainer card in Gold’s hand.  Anger overwhelmed him as he ran back at the older male. With a well-aimed punch, he knocked Gold to the ground before he snatched back his card.

“You...” Silver bit his lip.  His whole body had started quivering, but he wasn’t entirely sure it was purely from anger.  He clenched his hands into fists. He couldn’t say anything more; he could only turn around again and run from the scene as hatred bubbled in the pits of his stomach, hatred for the world, but especially, hatred for that boy .  

It felt like hours had passed before Silver stopped running.  He curled up underneath a large oak tree as he tried to stop his body from shaking.  The voice and memories that so often insisted on plaguing him had ceased by now, but he had yet to control his body’s reactions to his distress.  

He pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.  With his chin on his knees, he battled against the tears that were threatening to roll down his face.  He wasn’t going to cry; it would make him weak if he were to do so – a lesser being undeserving of life itself if he were to do so.

“It’s all Gold’s fault...!” Silver hissed to himself as he grabbed the PokeBall from his pocket.  He glared at it as if it had been the one to put him into this state. “His and yours...”

Silver pushed the small button on the PokeBall, releasing his Totodile from its resting place.  The Pokemon was still exhausted from its battle, its pants heavy and its eyes drooped as it stayed where it was, trying to find the energy to do as its master would surely command.    

“You’re worthless...” Silver hissed at it.  “Pathetic. All I care about are Pokemon that win every time...  If you couldn’t even beat a fire type...”

“Toto...” Totodile muttered as it hung its head.  “Dile...”

“Shut up.” Silver snarled.  “You’re pathetic – you don’t deserve sympathy.”

But neither do you...

Silver shook his head to clear his mind.  It worked; the voice was short lived, but as if to make up for it, he felt his Pokemon crawling closer to him, trying to get into his lap despite its battle exhaustion.  

“Don’t you dare touch me!” Silver roared as he shoved the Pokemon away so violently, it skidded through the dirt and came to rest a few feet away from Silver.  Its trainer curled up further into himself as he continued his shouting. “Stay away from me! I hate you! I hate you!”

“Dile...” Totodile didn’t move from where it had fallen.  It gave a rejected sigh and stared at Silver with eyes that conveyed far more emotion than the boy wanted to believe a Pokemon was capable of showing.  It didn’t understand why it was being treated this way – every other human it had come into contact with had been kind.

But this boy...  Why was there so much conflict in Silver’s emotions...?

Totodile closed its eyes and allowed itself to fall into slumber.  Silver, however, didn’t have the luxury of falling asleep so easily.  Nightmares plagued his mind, waking him in cold sweats as he whimpered and curled in on himself in efforts to self-soothe.  When he couldn’t fall back to sleep, he’d pick at his scarred wrist and blood would dribble down into the dirt below as he battled with keeping his emotions locked away.  

But eventually, Silver’s exhaustion would win out once again, leading him back into sleep that would do little to refresh him come the next morning.  

Chapter Text

What felt like months had only been a week since Silver had first met Gold.  Their next meeting had occurred in Azalea Town, and just like with their first encounter, he’d been left humiliated after yet another defeat.  It was made worse by the realisation that Gold had cut through Team Rocket grunts and an Executive before getting to him so his Pokemon were definitely weakened, unlike his own.

Were Silver’s Pokemon weak, or was he …?

“I hate the weak.” Silver clenched his hands into fists.  “Pokemon… Trainers… It doesn’t matter who or what. I’m going to be strong and wipe out the weak.  That goes for Team Rocket, too. They act big and tough in a group. But get them alone, and they’re weak.  I hate them all. You stay out of my way. A weakling like you is only a distraction.”

“Silver, don’t leave!” Gold wished he could help, but how could he?  Silver was so bitter and angry and Gold had no idea how to work with it.  “Silver!”

I hate them all, Silver thought to himself as his body shook.  He could feel hands from the past all over his body, hear the cruel words being screamed at him.  He remembered how he would cower in the corner of his bedroom, still as a statue in an attempt to keep his father from getting mad at him.   I’ll kill them.  I’ll kill them all.  I’ll rip them to pieces.  And him…   I hope he gets what’s coming to him – interfering with Team Rocket…

“Silver!”

Silver was snapped out of his thoughts as someone grabbed his arm.  He spun around and shoved at a body not much bigger than his own with strength he never knew he had.  He scooted backwards to put more distance between them, and his bitter screams were so wild, spittle rolled down his chin to match his wide eyes.  “Don’t touch me! Don’t you ever touch me!  Do you hear me?!  Don’t even come near me!  Stay away from me!”

“Silver…” Gold’s lips curled into a frown.  From where he’d fallen into the dirt, he pushed himself upwards and stared into Silver’s agonised eyes.  “Silver, why do… you do this…?”

Why indeed…  Silver closed his eyes.  His body tensed and snippets of his past flashed through his mind.  The once-daily screams echoed in his mind. The ghosts of touches from so long ago burned into his skin and made him want to claw his flesh off so he’d never have to feel it again.  No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t lock his memories away in the deepest recesses of his mind where it all belonged. He was powerless, and he couldn’t stop himself from being consumed by his own history once again.  

He stared blankly at the wall of his bedroom.  Blood dribbled down the side of his face, but he didn’t have the energy to wipe at it; all he could do was sit there and replay the day’s events over in his mind.

His beating had been more vicious than it usually was.  It made no difference he was only four; he’d been walloped just as badly as a grown man in a savage fist fight.  His eyes glazed over as they became unfocused as he heard his father shouting from somewhere outside his room. Tears rolled down his cheeks, creating little pathways through the blood, but he paid no heed to any of that; he couldn’t .  

“Daddy…” Silver finally whimpered as his young mind finally came to terms with what had happened.  “D-daddy…”

He only wanted his father’s approval.  When he’d grow up, he’d realise he was desperate for it.  But for now, all he wanted to hear were the words to tell him he was loved - at least, that the man was just somewhat proud of him.

Silver jumped with a squeak at a thud from the other side of the room.  He was terrified of sudden noises and movements, but when he looked up at his window and saw specs of blood on the glass, he forgot his own pain and got to his feet so he could limp towards his bedroom door, too small to see over the ledge of the window.

It caused sharp pain in his chest as he opened the bedroom door, but he pressed on; whatever creature was hurt outside his window, he had to help it.  

Silver crept as silently as he could through the Team Rocket Headquarters, but he wasn’t quiet enough; the red-headed Executive, Ariana, stepped out in front of him with her usual smirk on his face.  He gulped as fresh tears welled in his eyes.

“Where is little baby Silv going?” she taunted.

Her mere presence sent shivers down Silver’s spine.  His mouth opened and closed wordlessly as his body trembled.  He raised his hand and pointed in the direction of the outside world.

Ariana’s smirk widened.  She tutted. “Now, now, little baby, aren’t you forgetting something?”

Silver wrapped his arms around himself as he fucked his head.  He knew what the woman wanted. He flinched as she knelt before him, and when cold hands grabbed his face in mock tenderness, he tried to pull away.

“If you don’t give me what I want, I will tell your father,” she whispered into his ear.  “I don’t think he’ll be happy to hear about you being outside.”

Several sobs lodged themselves in Silver’s throat as he placed his lips reluctantly upon the woman’s.  He shuddered as he felt hands run over his body, hoping with all his being that Ariana wouldn’t want to take their clothes off today; all he wanted was to find what had hit his window and help it as best he could.

The Gods seemed to have granted Silver some mercy today as Ariana pulled her hand off the hem of his pants and left without a word.  He shook violently as he hastily made his way outside as fast as he could, not wanting to risk running into anyone else; he’d barely escaped that time, and he knew he wouldn’t be so lucky again.

He slinked around the walls of the base and tried to stay out of sight as much as possible; if Giovanni knew he was out there, he would be skinned alive.  

It had been a Pidgey that had hit Silver’s window, he found out.  He felt his heart break as he looked at it, still on the ground with its wing twisted at an odd angle and blood splattered through its feathers.  It tried to hop away from Silver on one leg, but it couldn’t get very far.

“I won’t hurt you…” Silver whispered as he approached it as non-threateningly as he could.  “You’re hurt… I’m hurt, too… I only want to help you…”

It was far easier than Silver had thought it was going to be to get the Pidgey wrapped up in his jacket and into his arms.  The real challenge would lay in knocking on his father’s office door and getting him to agree to help the Pokemon, Silver knew.

Silver hesitated in pushing the door open.  He peered inside with wide eyes before he took a deep breath and crossed the threshold.

“Daddy…” Silver’s trembling voice wavered.  He approached his father like Giovanni was a rabid animal.  “...”

“What is it, boy?” The man barked.  He threw his pen at the child, furious to be interrupted from his work.  His frustration grew when Silver remained quiet, save for a few sobbing hiccups.  “Speak up!”

“…D-daddy…” Silver’s tears came in a steady stream as he fumbled with his jacket.  Giovanni raised an eyebrow when he was shown what was wrapped up in it. “…He’s hurt…  Please, help him...”

“Give it here.” Giovanni stuck his hand out expectantly.

Silver’s facial expression changed from that of a kicked puppy to one of pure happiness.  He limped over to his father and held the Pidgey out. “Here you go, daddy. Please, help him.”

“Oh, I’ll help him.” Giovanni sneered.  He grabbed the Pidgey by its broken wing and dangled it in front of his Persian laying by his desk.  “I’ll put it out of its misery, boy.”

Silver screamed.  He had never felt so horrified in his life; such an innocent creature, squawking and flailing in an desperate attempt to get away from the Persian that was now batting it with its paws.  

Silver placed his hands over his eyes at the Pidgey’s wails, but he wasn’t fast enough to avoid the sight of his father wrapping a huge hand around its neck and twisting.  A sickening crack filled the air and Silver cried desperately as his hands were forced from his eyes. “No! No!”

“Watch!” Giovanni hissed.  He held Silver’s hands down and kept his son where he was so Silver could watch the Persian feast.  “Remember, Silver; weak things - injured things - are worthless.  They aren’t needed in this world.  If you ever find another Pokemon like that, take a page from my book and kill it.  It was weak and it deserved death - as weak things do, humans and Pokemon alike.”

“D-d-daddy…!” Silver wailed.  That Pidgey as been as weak and defenceless as he was, and he had gotten it killed.  “Daddy…!”

Silver screamed at the punch to his head.  

“Silver…  Silver!”

Silver was brought back to reality at his name.  He glared at Gold as if the black-haired boy was the cause for all of his misery.  “You know nothing…   Leave.  Me. Alone .”

“I know that someone has hurt you!” Gold pleaded as Silver turned and ran away.  “Badly! I can see that! I just want to help!”

Silver ignored him as he ran.  Help? Help?   No one ever helped him.  If someone wanted to help him, why couldn’t they have done it when he was still at his father’s mercy?  Why did no one care enough to try and help him then? Why was that… that… wannabe-hero the first to even speak those words?  

Gold didn’t even mean what he said; Silver knew it was all an act - but an act for what ?  To draw him in for whatever uses Gold had for him?  It’d been done to him enough times; he knew the signs.  

His hand slipped past his sleeve.  He clawed at his skin, unblinking as pain made itself known and blood spilt.  He didn’t want to stop to get the pocketknife he kept in his bag out, so his fingernails would do for now.  

Silver ran, not caring where he ended up; he just wanted to get as far away from Gold as possible.  Just how much of Gold would Silver be able to take before he snapped for good? He had to get away… Anywhere but here.  

Chapter Text

Countless months had passed since Silver had first stolen his Totodile.  He’d been driven out of Johto by Gold, unable to stand their encounters any longer and in desperate need of reprieve from the other’s presence.

It was why he was boarding the S.S Anne with a stolen pass, hoping he could finally escape from Gold and continue on with his only goal in mind uninterrupted.  

“Just leave me alone…” Silver muttered to himself as he walked down the crowded corridor to get to his designated room.  He couldn’t stop the thoughts of Gold jumbling around inside his mind, and this was exactly why he needed the escape. “I hate you so much…  Just leave me alone !”

Looks were thrown Silver’s way, and people sidestepped around him as if he’d attack them if they got too close.  He took no notice of their behaviour as he battled his own mind; how could just one boy overwhelm him worse than his own past had?

“Look at that boy...” A woman mumbled to her partner as Silver walked past them.  “Just listen to what he’s saying… What a psycho…”

“You shouldn’t say those things about a child,” her partner said softly.  “Granted, that boy has screws loose, but look at him… He’s clearly a cutter…”

More mutters and whispers filled the air as Silver got to the end of the corridor.  He pushed past a young girl who couldn’t have been more than five, knocking her to the ground and ignoring her cries as he simply walked around her to continue on his way.  

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” A man shouted at Silver as he leant down to pick up the girl.  “What about a fucking apology, you little bastard?!”

Silver stopped dead and turned to face him.  “Shut the hell up…”

“You little shit!” The man reached out and grabbed Silver by the collar of his jacket.  Silver made no move to get away; he stood there, as if he were in some far away land and was taking no notice of what was happening.  “I should kick your ass!”

“What’s stopping you?” Silver shot back without hesitation.  “Do it. I’m right here. Do it.”

The man wasn’t joking around apparently; he lifted Silver into the air by the back of his jacket.  He put the girl on the ground and used his now-free hand to slap Silver across the face. “You little worm, I should stab -”

Silver’s eyes closed, and he couldn’t help but emit a laugh.  He reached up and unzipped his jacket so he could fall to the ground.  He lifted his shirt up for the world to see.

His attacker’s eyes widened at the sight he was presented with.  All over Silver’s body were scars that made him realise someone had stabbed Silver before and dragged the knife down past his pants as the scars continued on beneath the fabric.

“That’s…” He backed off.  He picked the girl up and said nothing more as he left, still wearing a stunned expression on his face.

The cabin was full of whispers and points at Silver now.  He ignored it all as he stood and stared at his arms. He always wore his jacket to hide his scars, but it had been serving a different purpose today; without the jacket there to contain it all, blood dribbled slowly down his arms and onto the ground below from cuts so fresh, they could have been made only minutes prior.  

Silver slipped his jacket back on and stepped in front of his cabin door.  He slipped the key inside the lock and turned it, but it didn’t unlock. He swore under his breath as he tried to get it open again, but only yielded the same results.

He couldn’t hold back his tears anymore.  They flowed down his cheeks in rivers as he collapsed to the ground and pulled his knees to his chest to hug them tight.  He buried his face into his knees as sobs racked his body. He felt everyone’s eyes on him and, for the first time that day, he couldn’t focus on his thoughts or his memories; he could only feel the vulnerability and self-consciousness such crowding always invoked in his deep depression.

Silver couldn’t have been more relieved when the ship finally docked.  It had been an awful trip to Kanto, but at least Gold wouldn’t be able to follow him around and cause more stress any longer.

“The only problem is…” Silver muttered to himself as he walked down Vermillion City’s dock, “...there is, once again, nowhere for me to stay.”

He kicked a pebble that lay in his path.  His head felt ready to explode from the stress as everything caught up with him.  He had made the trip in an attempt to try and start anew and refocus himself, but already things were going wrong and he was overwhelmed by memories.

Silver remembered the way his father had held him down and allowed his highest-ranking members to violate him when he was barely two-years-old.  He remembered how Giovanni would come into his room at night and force him to open his mouth.

But most of all, Silver remembered how his love and compassion for people and Pokemon alike had been cruelly shattered after years of torture - on both himself and the Pokemon he’d tried so hard to befriend.  He had been raised to believe that Pokemon were nothing more than tools of war, how only the strongest beings mattered and weak things didn’t deserve a place in the world - but most of all, how everybody, both people and Pokemon, were enemies and sought only to hurt.  

But Gold…  Why was Gold so obsessed with him?  Why did Gold try so hard to get Silver to open up?  Why did he want Silver to talk to him - accept him?  Why was Gold… different?

He shook his head as he tried to change his train of thought.  He reached down and fingered a PokeBall in contemplation. Gold had quickly forgiven him for stealing his Totodile…  He growled to himself as his mind was invaded once more.

“Just fuck off!” Silver screamed at the top of his voice.  People jumped and stared at his outburst, as if he had grown a third head in front of them.  He reached up and ripped at his hair. “Leave me alone! Leave me the fuck alone!”

“Oi, kid!” Someone yelled from a distance.  “Go get help your yourself, freak!”

Tears streamed down Silver’s face again as he broke into a run.  He wasn’t sure what he was running from, but he knew he had to get away.  The only problem was. where was he safe in this unknown region?

Chapter Text

Silver couldn’t be sure, but he felt it had been close to a month since he’d arrived at Viridian City.  He hadn’t been here in years, and the first thing he took notice of was how much it had changed, how different it was.  He wondered if the gym would still be the same as it had been while his father was the Gym Leader - foreboding and evil .  

You told me… Silver winced as he remembered the last words he and his father had exchanged before Giovanni had abandoned him,   …you were number one in the world!

“One must acknowledge one’s defeat before he can move on…” Giovanni’s voice was clear as crystal, as if they’d held this conversation just a moment ago.  “I will go solo… for now… So that one day I will form a stronger organisation!”

“What aspect of you was number one?” Silver whispered as tears welled up in his eyes.  As cruel and relentless to him as Giovanni was, he was still his father and he wanted desperately to be able to love the man.  “Gathering so many only to be defeated by a mere child!”

“Putting together the potential of many is how you produce a huge power…  That’s what an organisation is… That’s the strength of an organisation! I failed… to make the best use of my subordinates’ potential…!  But you shall witness one day the revival of me and my Team Rocket!”

“I don’t understand you!” Silver shouted.  He couldn’t comprehend any of this.  All he knew was that for the few days before Giovanni’s defeat, he had been treated as he should have been.  Giovanni had been kind to him, had fed him and made sure that he was okay. Silver was willing to put all of his pain and misery behind him if it meant that they could truly be father and son.  “You don’t make any sense!”

“…” Giovanni turned his back on his son.  “…One day, you will understand.”

“I don't want to understand you!” Silver screamed as his father left.  “I will never become someone like you.  A coward when you’re alone and acting like a tyrant when you’re in front of other cowards!  I will become strong! I will become a stronger man all by myself! All by myself!”

Tears streamed down Silver’s face as he collapsed onto his knees.  He thought about what Gold and that Dragon-type trainer, Lance, had said to him.  He didn’t understand why they would both tell him to be kinder to his Pokémon – what use would that be?  That would bring both he and his Pokémon nothing but pain. It would teach the Pokémon to trust and love in Silver – and when that time came, Silver would have to break their hearts one way or another, just as his father did to him.

The thought that Silver had turned out just like the man he hated most had never crossed his mind – until now.  He hadn’t thought about their parting for a long time – or rather, he wouldn’t allow himself to think about it.  Those words that Silver had screamed at the top of his lungs…  The way that he had spoken with such hatred and despair… About how he had sworn he would be a better person than Giovanni ever was.  But… The way that Silver treated his Pokémon… Silver knew, deep down, that he was nothing more than a miniature Giovanni.  

“I don’t want to be like him…” Silver sobbed to himself as realisation dawned upon him.  “I can’t be like him…  Please… Someone…  Help me…”

Just like they always did, people stopped and stared, but no one had made any move to try and help Silver.  His pain only grew, and more and more attention focused on him as his cries and pleas for help became so hysterical, he was about to pass out.

“Hey!  Hey, kid!”  It was a young man with spiky brown hair who had run to Silver’s side.  He reached out and grabbed Silver’s shoulder in genuine concern, but he was too late to realise that all he had accomplished was making the situation worse; with a sickening scream, Silver lashed out for a split second before he fell into unconsciousness.

When Silver came to, it was with a cry of horror as he realised that he was in a bed, contained in a room he didn’t recognise.  He hadn’t slept in a bed for a long time, finding it always brought back too many memories to do so, so it was only natural that when the door to the room opened and he was faced with a stranger, he assumed he was here for their pleasure.

“Are you okay, kid?” It was the spiky-haired male from before, and Silver didn’t know what to think.  Silver remained silent and stared at his lap. “Kid?”

The man approached Silver’s bed with a frown on his face.  He reached out to touch Silver again, but the boy scooted backwards to escape the touch until he was pressed against the headboard of the bed to put as much distance as he could between them.

A lone tear rolled down Silver’s cheek, and his mouth hung open in a silent scream.  His heart thundered inside his chest and his body trembled violently. Breathing became difficult until he’d fallen into a panic attack that had the man leaving the room to return with a glass of water.

When Silver’s erratic breathing calmed down, the man leant against the wall and crossed his arms against his chest.  He surveyed the boy with unreadable eyes.

“What’s your name, kid?” He asked, hoping he’d get a response this time.  Silver only hiccupped and ducked his head. “My name is Green. I am the Viridian City Gym Leader.”

Silver’s breath hitched once again at these words; Gym Leader…?  This man… He must be one of Giovanni’s people!

Silver’s vision became a hazy white and his head pounded furiously against his skull.  he had no will left to fight as he fell victim to oblivion for the second time that day.

Green knew there was something desperately wrong with this boy, and judging the reaction he had just received upon announcing his title, he suspected it had to do with Viridian City - or perhaps, someone that had something to do with the city itself.

Green didn’t like the idea of leaving the still-unconscious boy alone in his bedroom while he went into town, but he had a feeling that the police might know something about the child.  He sat in one of Officer Jenny’s offices as the two of them flipped through old records of previous residents, but no matter how long they’d been at it for, not much had turned up in their search.  

“I don’t know why you didn’t just bring him here and make it easier,” Officer Jenny grumbled as Green sorted through his thirty-third missing persons flyer.

“I told you,” Green growled as he discarded yet another poster that didn’t resemble his guest in the least, “he seems to have issues with touching, and…  I don’t know; there’s something seriously wrong with him.”

“You can’t give us a better description on his appearance other than red hair?” She tried.

Green shrugged.  “He hasn’t spoken a word and won’t even look at me.  ...But… I did notice that when I mentioned I am the Gym Leader, he seemed to have panicked and then fainted again.”

“Hmm…” Officer Jenny pondered over the information for a moment, but then, it clicked.  “Red hair, you say…”

Green watched the policewoman turn back to her computer.  It was silent for a few moments as Jenny typed something, and then she turned back to him.

“What is it?” Green questioned at the serious look she gave him.

“The old Gym Leader had a son with red hair,” she explained as she turned her computer screen to Green, revealing a photo of a young child who greatly resembled the boy in his bed.  “Everyone suspected the boy of being abused, but it was never substantiated due to some… corrupt cops here on the force at the time.”

Green frowned.  “That’s definitely him…”

“The boy’s name is Silver, and he went missing around the time the previous Gym Leader did.  People said they saw the Gym Leader go one way and Silver another - in tears. He was never seen around here again.”

Green sighed and put his face into his hands.  “What am I supposed to do with him…?”

“We can take him off your hands and put him into foster care if you would like,” Jenny offered.  “According to his records, he should be about fourteen - but due to his… upbringing… I believe it will be hard to find a suitable home for him.”

Green shook his head.  He’d never had a good opinion on foster care as it was, and the last thing he wanted was to be responsible for the boy going into the system and being abused.  “I’ll take care of him. I was the only one who did something more than stop and gawk…”

She nodded.  “There will be a lot of paperwork and background checks involved.”

“I’m aware of this; I was removed from my parents’ custody and put into my Grandfather’s care, after all.”

Jenny nodded.  “Then I’m sure just by having something like that in common, there will be grounds for Silver to begin trusting you - however long that may take.”

“Thank you for your help.  I’ll need to get back and check on him.”  He left without another word; right now, all he wanted was to get home and make sure that Silver was okay.

When Silver awoke, he was still in the same bed.  The only different now was that there was an Eevee curled up against him, fast asleep.

Silver eyed the Fox Pokemon warily as he raised himself up with one arm.  He wondered where the male from before had gotten to, and why his Pokemon was sleeping with him - didn’t the furry creature understand just how horrid Silver truly was?

But the Pokemon’s warmth outweighed any doubt and putdowns Silver had for himself.  He had never allowed anyone so close to him before, and this… this tiny creature was bringing more comfort to him than anything else ever had.

He laid back down, careful not to wake the Eevee up.  He reached out with a tentative hand before he patted the Pokemon’s silky fur.  A small smile crossed Silver’s face as he continued petting it, for the first time in so long feeling as if he were at peace.

Without even realising it, his eyes had closed and he was asleep once more.

Chapter Text

When Silver awoke, Green was sitting at the desk across  from him. He yelped as he shot backwards, and instinctively his arms wrapped around his body as he ducked his head submissively.  

Green sighed.  He knew it was going to be hard to get the boy to trust him, but he couldn’t leave him; who knew what would be done to him if he was sent to foster care?  He wouldn’t be understood for sure!

Green knew what it was like to be abused.  His parents had hated him and he had been shipped off to live with his grandfather when he was five.  His grandfather had been more of a parent to him than his mother or father ever had been. He hadn’t turned out as bad as this kid, but oh, he had been no angel…  He had just… grown up, he supposed.

“Your name is Silver, right?” Green voice held a soft tone he only ever used with his Pokemon.  People weren’t worth his time; Red and Grandpa were the only ones he had ever connected with.

Silver’s eyes widened at Green’s question; if the man knew that, he surely was a Rocket!  He trembled as he looked around for something - anything - to keep the older male away from him.  His shaking hand knocked books and a lamp off the bedside table as he felt around for whatever he could find.

“What’s wrong, Silver?” Green asked.  He stood and approached the bed.

Silver let out a screech as tears welled up in his eyes.  He grabbed the pen he had found on the bedside table and held it in front of him threateningly.  “Stay away from me! Stay away from me, you Rocket!”

Green’s eyes widened as he realised what the problem was.  If he was correct in saying that this boy was Silver, than his father was none other than the Team Rocket leader, Giovanni.  It only made sense for Silver to assume he was a Rocket as Green had admitted to being the Gym Leader and knew Silver’s name.  

Green raised his hands and stayed where he was.  “Silver, I promise you I am not a Rocket member.  I swear on my Eevee’s life.  It was my best friend, Red, who took down Giovanni.”

Silver’s gaze lowered at these words, but still he did not drop the pen.  He thought about what had just been said. He remembered the Eevee that had been curled up against him and looked around for it, but it was nowhere in sight.

“...So…” Silver’s voice trembled as he did his best to hold back his tears.  “...You’re not a Rocket…?”

“No.” A small smile crept onto Green’s face.  He reached over and grabbed the PokeBall off his desk.  He pressed the button and Eevee appeared once more. “I hate Team Rocket as much as you seem to fear them.”

Green leant down and picked up the Fox Pokemon.  He carried her over to the bed and sat her down in Silver’s lap before he backed away.  He watched Silver hesitantly pat it.

“So, Silver…” Green didn’t miss the way Silver flinched and cowered at hsi name.  It broke his heart, but he refused to show it. “You must be a Pokemon Trainer, too.  Do you want me to take your Pokemon and give them some rest?”

Silver’s eyes widened.  He grabbed the Eevee into a tight hug and shook his head erratically.

“Silver…” Green’s voice had that soft edge to it again.  “Silver, is it okay if I bring Pokemon food in here, then?  I’m sure they’re hungry and could really use the freedom.”

Silver twiddled his thumbs as he thought the offer over.  If they did it that way… His Pokemon were still here to protect him against Green, if need be…  But if Green took them away, he was at the other’s mercy…

I will never be like you…

Silver cringed as he remembered his own words from long ago.  Keeping his Pokemon cooped up in their PokeBalls was a Giovanni move.

Silver hiccupped as he nodded.  His trembling hands passed his PokeBalls to Green, but he couldn’t make eye contact as his Pokemon were released from their confines.  He heard Green leave the room, and now that the man was gone, he looked down at the Eevee again. Why did it like being so close to him?  

No…  The real question was…  Why was Silver being kind to it…?

Silver looked at his own Pokemon, who stared back in confusion.  They didn’t understand why someone else’s Pokemon was being treated so nicely when they were all used to Silver’s cruel ways, and it broke his heart to realise this.

Tears welled up in Silver’s eyes as he looked at all of the battle wounds on his Pokemon.  He gently placed the Eevee down on the bed beside him and leant over, raising his shaking hand towards his Sneasel.  Sneasel watched warily, frightened and wanting to run, Silver could understand.

“I’m sorry…” Silver whispered as he slowly placed his hand on Sneasel’s head.  He didn’t miss the way it flinched violently at the touch. “Sneasel… Everyone…  I’m so sorry…”

Feraligatr was the first to approach Silver.  It nudged its trainer softly with its nose, as if to comfort him.  Golbat, Gengar and Alakazam approached next, each far more hesitantly than Feraligatr.  They were still very unsure, but there was something about the situation that was so different to everything else.

Magneton, however, buzzed happily as it floated over to its trainer and was over the moon when its trainer wrapped his arms around it and held it close.

“All of you…” Silver sobbed into his Magneton.  “...I’m so sorry… It’s my fault… I… I… I never should have treated any of you like that…  Forgive me…”

Before any of the Pokemon could respond, the door opened and Green walked in with several bowls of Pokemon food in his arms.  He placed them all around the room and coaxed Silver’s Pokemon over to them. Sneasel was the only one who didn’t leave Silver’s side; it crawled up onto the bed and sat on its trainer’s lap.

Silver hesitantly wrapped his arms around the Pokemon.  He had never allowed any of his companions so close before - never known them any affection at all.  This was all so new to him, but the thing that kept him going was the will to live up to those words he had once spoken to his father all that time ago.

“Your Pokemon all look strong and like they’re in good shape.” Green smiled as he patted Alakazam’s head.

Silver shrugged and buried his face in Sneasel’s fur.  

“You’re welcome to stay here, Silver,” Green offered as he sat back at the desk.

Silver cringed at the forbidden words; so it begins…  Green did want him as a sex slave...

“I promise I won’t force you if you don’t want to stay,” Green continued as he sensed Silver’s unspoken worries, “but think about it.  A stable place to stay, and you won’t have to deal with me much because I spend my time at the gym or on Mt. Silver to visit my friend.”

Silver looked up at the mention of Mt. Silver.  He knew that mountain. He’d heard the rumours of how dangerous it was, how only the best of trainers were allowed up there.  If he stayed with Green… Put up with him solely for the fact that Green was one of the few who could travel up and down Mt. Silver…  He could become stronger! He could achieve everything he had wanted!

But what were the cons…?  Oh, just the fact that Green seemed to want his body.  That Green would abuse him. That he would be so unhappy here...

But hey!  It was somewhere to sleep at night, and hopefully somewhere he would be supplied with food.  At least it would save him wandering around, half-starved and cold. Perhaps, just maybe, he could put up with all that just for the fact that he could potentially become stronger.

Silver knew he was only using Green to take advantage of whatever he had to offer, but still he nodded.  He tightened his grip on Sneasel as tears fell harder. Did he really just resign himself to the same life he had escaped from…?

“Just…” Silver’s voice was hoarse.  “...No sex… At least until I get used to being here…”

Green felt his heart break; how could Silver have expected such a thing?  He was so young …  “Silver, listen.  I promise you, I would never do anything sexual to you.  I only want to help you. Please, trust me, Silver.  I know we can become friends.”

Silver shrugged.  There were the words he had expected - the words that were meant for him to lower his guard so Green could strike.

“The kitchen is just down the hallway,” Green said softly to change the subject.  “Come out when you are ready and I will make you dinner.”

Silver nodded.  He looked down to inspect Sneasel’s claws in an attempt at ending the conversation, and it worked; Green left soon enough.  He turned to the Eevee still sitting next to him. “Is your trainer always like that…?

Eevee wagged its tail.  “Eevee! Ee!”

Silver couldn’t help but smile.  “I’ll trust you… Only you, Eevee.”

Chapter Text

When Silver woke up the next morning, the alarm clock flashed six-thirty.  He yawned and wiped at his eyes, well-rested from his first proper sleep in years.

“Good morning, Silver.”

Silver tensed at Green’s voice.  His eyes closed tightly, frightened for his safety; why was Green in his room…?

Green, who sensed Silver’s uneasiness, spoke in a soft tone.  “I’m sorry if I woke you; I was just coming to get clothes from the closet.”

Silver relaxed.  That was right; this was Green’s bedroom.  Green had every right to come in whenever he wanted to, and for whatever reason.  He pulled the blankets up higher and rolled onto his side, his back to the Gym Leader as he listened carefully for any approach the other may make.

“I’m going to be out at the Gym all day today, Silver,” Green started to explain as he pulled clothing out of the closet.  “You’re welcome to do whatever you want while I’m gone. There’s food in the cupboards and I’m sure you’ll find something to entertain yourself with.”

Silver nodded.  He felt better knowing that he was going to be alone.  “...”

“I just ask one thing of you, Silver.” Well, this was unexpected, Silver thought.  “I’m leaving Eevee home so I want you to keep an eye on her and make sure she stays out of trouble.  Can you do that, please?”

Silver raised an eyebrow and turned back to Green; why would he leave his Pokemon alone with someone like Silver …?  Was this a test, or a trick, or…?  “Why would you do that…?”

“Hmm?  Do what?”

“Leave your Pokemon with me…  Aren’t you worried I would steal it or something…?”

Green shook his head without hesitation.  “Of course not, Silver. I trust you.”

Silver’s eyes widened at those words; never in his entire life had someone told him they trusted him.  Usually it was people saying that they couldn’t trust him.  But Green… sounded so honest .

“Besides,” Green continued, “Eevee’s pretty strong herself.  You can battle against her if you wish.”

“Why aren’t you taking her with you?” Silver’s voice was hoarse.

“I don’t use her in serious battles.”

Silver nodded and left it at that.  He laid back down and closed his eyes, hoping to fall back asleep.  The last he heard of Green was the bedroom door closing as he left, and Silver couldn’t help but feel oddly at peace right now.  

Maybe…  Green was the first person who he could trust.

The day had dragged by slowly for Silver.  There wasn’t much he felt comfortable doing at Green’s home, but that may have been because he honestly didn’t know what he was supposed to do in a home.  There were plenty of books for him to read, but Silver was too nervous to touch them; what if Green found out about it?  There was a TV, but Silver had no idea how to operate it, and he was too afraid of breaking it.

Silver had found that sleeping, eating in amounts small enough that Green wouldn’t notice, and battling his Pokemon against Eevee had been his main source of entertainment.

When Green came home, Silver couldn’t help but jump from the couch as if it had burnt him.

“Hello, Silver.” Green smiled as he removed his jacket.  “Did you enjoy yourself while I was gone?”

Silver shrugged and left the room.  He wasn’t comfortable being in Green’s presence just yet.  Instead, he left the house and sat on the back porch. He watched his Pokemon play happily in the backyard, taking no notice of their master.

“They’re happy…” Silver mumbled to himself.  He rested his head against the railings and shivered slightly from the chilly wind.  “...Why can’t I be happy, too…?”

You don’t deserve happiness…

Silver flinched as his father’s voice floated through his mind.  He remembered when Giovanni had told him that on his seventh birthday.  He remembered questioning his father why he was treated so differently to other kids, no presents or any acknowledgment like he knew all the other kids got.  Giovanni had just slapped him.

“You don’t deserve happiness.  You’re a pathetic, worthless little maggot and you only deserve to be miserable in life.  It’s all you’re good for. You’re not here to be happy; you’re here to serve only a purpose to this organisation and nothing more.”

Tears dripped down Silver’s cheeks as he nodded in defeat.  “O-okay, daddy…”

“Now stop sooking and go to your room, Silver.  I don’t want to see you until I need you next.”

“Okay…”

Shivers ran down Silver’s spine as he remembered that day.  Even now, it still caused him great pain; how could he be treated so horribly on his birthday of all things?

Silver couldn’t fight his exhaustion any longer.  He was just… so tired… He couldn’t fight it any longer, nor could he keep up the will to survive.  He had tried so hard to become the strongest Pokemon Trainer in the world because he’d felt it would give him some purpose, but it was clear he was anything but if Gold kept beating him so easily.

Even now, Silver couldn’t see why he should keep trying.  He knew that everything would be better if he were dead; he wouldn’t be around to anger others or upsets them - and most of all, he wouldn’t have the daily battle just to pretend he wasn’t hurting.

As Silver watched his Pokemon, he could see just how better off they would be without him.  He had done nothing but abuse them, treat them as slaves and make them just as miserable as Giovanni had made him .

“It hurts…” Silver whispered.  He reached up to clutch at his chest while tears dripped silently down his pale cheeks.  “Everything hurts… Worse than ever… Please, God… Make it stop…!   Anyone…  Please…”

As Silver broke down on the back porch, he was unaware of Green standing by the window and listening to every plea he cried out.

Dinner that night was quiet.  As Green and Silver sat at the dining table with toasted sandwiches in front of them, Green was trying to decide how to approach the subject of letting Silver know he was there for him.  

Silver seemed to pick up on Green’s absent-mindedness, but as much as he wanted to ask what the other was thinking about, he knew better than to ask.

The meal continued on in silence for several minutes more before Green looked at Silver and started, “I can see you’re having a hard time and all, and…  I just wanted to tell you that I do care about you, so…  If you ever needed a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen…  I’m always here.”

Silver looked at his lap and shrugged.  He couldn’t figure the taller male out. He wa the one and only person in his life who seemed genuine.  But even so, that didn’t mean he could be trusted.

“I won’t make you decide anything right now,” Green added.  He could see the way Silver’s eyes glinted with unshed tears.  “You think about it for however long you need. Are you finished eating?”

Silver shrugged again and pushed the plate towards his guardian.  He had done nothing but pick at his dinner, unable to eat. He watched in silence as Green cleaned up after them.  

Truth be told, Silver did want to trust Green - but how could he trust a stranger if he couldn’t even trust his own father ?

Just as tears started rolling down his cheeks, Silver left the room.  He walked to Green’s bedroom and closed the door behind him. He didn’t care that it was his host’s bedroom as he locked it; all he wanted was to be alone.

Silver curled up on the bed and lifted his sleeve.  He glanced down at his wrists, deciding that it was finally time to end everything.  He reached down and pulled a razor blade out from the bottom of his shoe and held it to his wrist.  With slight hesitation, he pushed down and ran it through a vein.

He let out a yelp of pain at the same time Green knocked on the door, and at his startlement, he pushed the blade in far deeper than he had intended to.  Everything went black.

“How are you feeling…?”

Silver took a moment to gather his surroundings.  White walls, and a soft beeping by his side… He was in a hospital.  He narrowed his eyes at that stupid question; oh, he had just about managed to kill himself, but he was feeling great .  Stupid idiot.

“What the fuck do you think …?” Silver groaned as he rolled onto his side.  

“Why would you do that to yourself, Silver…?” Green whispered.  “Just… Why…?”

“Why would I explain it to you…?” Silver whispered back.  He was tired of fighting. He couldn’t bring himself to snap at Green.  “You wouldn’t understand…”

“So why are you still here…?” A lone tear dripped down onto Silver’s pillow.  “Why haven’t you abandoned me like everyone else does…?”

“I’m not like that, Silver.  I won’t abandon you. Just… Why would you do that?”

“...It hurts…” Silver scrunched his eyes closed and curled his hands into fists.  “...It hurts so much… What they did to me… They made me like this…  I hate them all…”

“Who?” Green reached out to touch Silver’s shoulder in a reassuring manner, but Silver flinched away violently.  He pulled his hand away and settled for giving Silver a warm smile.

“...” Silver sniffed.  “My father… Everyone who worked for him…  Strangers… Everyone…”

“Surely you can’t mean the entire human population, Silver.” Maybe it was because Green just didn’t want to believe that Silver had never known kindness before, but he couldn’t bring himself to trust in Silver’s words.  “There has to be at least one person who’s cared for you - even if only a tiny bit.”

Silver was silent for several moments before he whispered, “ You …”

“Excuse me?”

“...You…” Tears started to fall down Silver’s cheeks now.  “You’re the one and only person… who has ever cared… Even a little…”

Green couldn’t help but let his heart go out for this poor child.  He ignored Silver’s attempts to move away from him and instead wrapped him in a hug.  He buried his face in red hair, not knowing what to say.

“...I know bad things happen, Silver…” Green whispered as he rocked Silver slowly.  “...I know they do… They happen a lot …  But there’s also good things in life that make it worth living…  No matter what happens, Silver… You can still live…”

Green couldn’t help but want to believe they had made progress when, just minutes later, Silver reached up and gripped his shirt to hold on for dear life as he unloaded a lifetime of pent-up emotions through his tears.

Chapter Text

With the months that passed by, Silver slowly grew to trust Green.  He wasn’t as closed off and silent as he once was, but he still resented close proximity to him.  However, what showed progress between the two was how Silver openly showed his distress now; his head would hang low and he would fidget, not longer denying anything being wrong.

As they sat around the dinner table one cool night, small discussions came and went.  They talked about Green’s day at the gym, about what Silver had done while he was home alone, and how Silver had been improving.

But the dreaded question that had been plaguing Green’s mind could not stay silent any longer.

“Are you happy here?” Green asked as he watched Silver carefully.  He knew how Silver was unpredictable and could easily explode at the wrong questions.

Silver stopped twirling his fork through his almost-untouched spaghetti.  He narrowed his eyes and glared at Green. He bit his lip hard enough to draw blood as too many thoughts ran through his mind to make sense of them.  “...Why would you… ask that?!”

Green flinched at Silver’s scream.  He knew to stay calm and quiet, but it really wasn’t the easiest thing to do when Silver threw his plate against the wall and then flipped the table.

“You know I…!” Tears rolled down Silver’s cheeks as he choked on his words.  “...I… You should know!”

It was no surprise when Silver punched the wall hard enough to create a hole, but Green didn’t have time to stop and worry about that; in the blink of an eye, Silver had stood and run to the kitchen behind them to take a knife from the cutlery drawer.

Green followed Silver with his hands in front of him as non-threateningly as possible.  “Put the knife down…”

“N-no…” Silver’s hand trembled, as did his voice.  It seemed that his outburst had been short-lived and quickly replaced by heartbreak, because he dropped the knife and wiped at his dampening eyes.  “You… You’re not happy with me …  You want me to leave, don’t you…?”

“No, not at all!  Silver, I love having you here!” It was never easy to convince Silver of the truth, but damnit, Green had to try .  

“Bullshit!” Silver shouted.  “No one could ever enjoy being around me…  I was stupid… to think that… I had finally… found a home…”

So that was what was bothering Silver.  Silver thought he was being kicked out - that Green was unhappy with him.  Green took a step forward.  “Silver…”

“Don’t come any closer!” Silver shouted.  He dived down to the floor to pick the knife back up and placed it back at his wrist, this time pressing the blade down hard enough to draw droplets of blood.  “I’ll kill myself here and now! That’ll make you happy, won’t it?!”

“Silver, stop this,” Green commanded.  “I don’t want you to do this.”

“Liar!”

Green sighed.  “Silver, I admit it.  I am a liar.  But I have never lied to you.  You have to believe me on that.  I’ve only ever wanted to help you, so please.  Let me help.”

Silver let out a sob as his face scrunched up in agony.  He dropped the knife once more and fell to his knees. He reached up and grabbed at his hair, ripping at it in his anguish.  

Green knelt by Silver’s side and pulled him into a hug.  He dropped his chin to rest against Silver’s head as he whispered, “I’m here, Silver…  I’m here.”

Maybe Silver was just going soft, but he really did trust in those words.  Green had already proved himself to be the most trustworthy person he had met - and probably ever would meet.

Though things had been going well for Silver, things never had stayed that way for him any other time.  As he and Green sat in the living room watching TV, neither of them heard the shattering of glass from the back of the house.  Eevee, however, raised her head from Silver’s lap and hissed.

“What’s wrong?” Green reached out and picked the Pokemon up.  This could be bad; if trouble was abrew, Eevee was the only Pokemon they had between them right now as both their teams were at the Pokemon Centre.  

Silver grabbed Green’s sleeve as the sound of footsteps from down the hallway caught their attention.  “Green…”

“It’s okay, Silver.” Green put his arm around the younger’s shoulders and cradled Eevee in his other.  “It’s okay.”

Voices sounded from the kitchen.  The hairs on Green’s neck stood on end; people were in the next room, and there was no telling how many of them there were.

“Silver…”  Green put Eevee on the ground and stood up before he grabbed Silver’s wrist.  “We need to hide.”

Silver nodded.  A single tear spilt down his cheek, and he didn’t care that Green was touching him; all that mattered right now was getting out of this safely.

Green opened the door to the study and pushed Silver in.  He was about to follow behind, but when Eevee let out a yelp, he turned around with wide eyes.  He raised his hand to his mouth in horror as he watched his Eevee being squeezed to death by an Arbok that certainly wasn’t his.

“Stop it!” Green shouted.  “Let Eevee go!”

“Hand over the kid and you can have your precious Eevee,” came the voice from the kitchen.

Green understood; this was about Silver.  He readied himself for a fight; it was looking as if it was going to come to that.  “Who are you?!”

“We were four of Team Rocket’s elites,” was the second voice, “but Giovanni disappeared.  We want that kid. We want it now .”

“You can’t have him!” Green shouted.  “You can’t!”

Silver, who was cowering under the desk in the study, was in tears.  He knew those voices. They belonged to the old Team Rocket Executives; Proton, Petrel, Ariana and Archer.  There were at least two of them here, and they wanted him .

“Green won’t let them have me…” Silver mumbled to himself as he rocked back and forth.  He was holding desperately onto the small amount of trust that he had in Green, trying to reassure himself that Green would protect him and not let anything happen to him.  “Green says he loves me… He’ll look after me…”

Silver silenced a scream and shoved his head between his legs when the study door was knocked from its hinges.  Scenes from his past played through his mind as if it were all on repeat. He dared glance up from his lap when he heard the thud of a human body hitting the ground, and his eyes widened at the sight of a bleeding Green laying before him.

“L-leave him alone…”  Despite the situation, Green still sounded tough even as he grabbed his left arm.  Blood spilt through the gaps in his fingers and onto the carpet beblow.

Archer let out a laugh.  He moved to Green and kicked him in the chest.  A loud crack ripped through the air as Green’s ribs broke.  Silver could only watch with wide eyes as his one and only friend was beaten savagely just because Silver existed .

It wasn’t fair; Green didn’t deserve this - especially not when he had been the only kind person Silver had ever had.  Was this really how bad the world was because of Silver ?  Surely it would be better if he had never been born.  Why did the Gods have to curse him this fate? Why?

“Silver~” Ariana cooed as she knelt down beside Silver’s hiding spot.  She reached out and dragged him into the open, the boy paralysed in fear.  His natural instinct was to not fight this woman - not fight any of the Rockets.  He knew exactly what would happen if he tried, and he would do anything to avoid having to go through any of it ever again.  “Silver, baby, why have you been hiding from us?”

“I’m sorry…” Silver whispered as tears streamed down his face.  “...I-I’m sorry…”

“You know that’s not very nice.” Ariana’s hand moved from Silver’s arm and down to his hip.  Her fingers toyed with the hem of his pants. “Don’t you remember your punishments, Silver? Your tongue is so very talented.”

Green, despite the pain he was in, shouted for the woman to leave Silver alone.  He could only watch as Silver’s head was forced to her lap, and it was because he knew what was about to happen, he would do whatever he could to stop it.  

Green ignored the pain and difficulty breathing as he kicked the Executives away from him and forced himself to his feet.  He threw himself at Ariana and knocked her away from Silver, but that was a mistake; the Arbok that had been curled lazily at the door hurried forward with a hiss.  It wrapped itself around Green next, squeezing tightly.

Silver snapped out of his memories at Green’s pained screams.  He looked around before his eyes settled on the scene before him and an emotion he had never experienced before grew; the terror of losing someone important to him was too much, and he had to act upon it.

“ No !” Silver screamed.  He shoved Ariana away from him and stood so he  could run to the Arbok. He snatched a pen off the desk on his way and jabbed it through the snake’s eye as hard as he could.  He ignored its cried of pain; all that mattered was it was releasing its grip on Green.

“Green!” Silver screamed.  Tears flowed freely as he shook Green’s shoulder, trying to bring him out of his unconsciousness.  “Green, please!”

Silver was aware of Proton coming towards them, but before anything else could happen, he heard the barking of several Growlithe, accompanied by an Arcanine’s howl.  The Executives all stopped as Officer Jenny appeared in the doorway with her gun drawn and pointed at the criminals.

Silver sobbed as he moved in close against his guardian.  He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to know what was happening, so he kept them closed until Officer Jenny had knelt by his side and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t hear a word she said to him.  

The world went black as Silver fainted.

Chapter Text

When Silver awoke, he heard voices floating through the air.  His eyes opened slowly, and he blinked to try and clear his fuzzy vision.  

“He’s going to be okay,” said a kindly voice from his side.  

“Thank God.”

Silver froze.  He knew that voice.  It couldn’t be… Why would he follow him all this way…?  He blinked again before he turned his head to the side and took in the familiar, hated form of Gold.

“You’re awake.”

Silver’s gaze moved up to see a doctor standing in the doorway, watching him with gentle eyes.  “We were worried that you weren’t going to wake up.”

Silver ignored everything the doctor had said as he kept his glare fixed on Gold.  He grit his teeth as his heart thumped against his chest.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Silver here.  “Why would you follow me all this way?  I thought I finally got rid of you!”

“Silver, you don’t understand…” Gold’s voice was thick with pain, and his eyes showed nothing but sadness.  “I can see just how much you’re suffering. I want to help.”

“I don’t want your help!” Silver shouted, unable to control himself.  He tried to get off the bed, but he didn’t get far as his legs collapsed underneath him.  He shoved Gold away when he came to his side. “I don’t want anyone’s help!  Why can’t you see that?!”

“Please, calm down.” The doctor approached and reached out to Silver, but his hand was slapped away.

“Leave me alone!” Silver screamed at the two of them.  “Fuck off! Don’t come near me! I hate you all! I hate you!  I hate you! ”

Nurses entered the room at the outburst.  While the doctor had managed to restrain Silver, the nurses sedated him.  Gold stood against the wall and watched it all. He had heard about what had happened with the Viridian City Gym Leader almost two weeks ago, and he had quickly boarded the next ship over to Kanto.  He’d been at the hospital ever since, talking to Green and waiting for Silver to wake up.

Now that Silver had woken up, why did it feel as if everything become so much harder…?  

Silver hadn’t seen Gold since that day in his hospital room, and he hoped that Gold had finally taken the hint and left him alone.  He sat by Green’s hospital bed, listening as he received instructions from the doctor on how to care for his broken ribs and the arm still in a cast.

When at least Green was given the okay to leave, Silver followed behind slowly, unsure of himself.  Why had Green done what he had just to protect him ?  Silver was nothing but a whore, a slut, a disgusting product of what he knew rape to be.

But Green…  Green didn’t treat him like any of those things.  He had taken care of Silver and taught him that not everything had to be painful.  And Gold… Well, Gold had followed him around for so long - had even traveled across regions after hearing what had happened!  

...Had Silver… been wrong in his assumptions about Gold?

“Hey, Green…?” Silver grabbed Green’s attention just out the front of their home.  Green was carrying Eevee in his arms, a bandage wrapped around the Pokemon’s middle.

“Hmm?” Green glanced behind him as he reached into his pocket to grab the house key.

“...Have you…  Have you ever hated someone, only to think about them and wonder… if they really… deserve all that hate…?”

Green made a few facial expressions as he thought about this.  “...Hmm… Well, Red and I… We didn’t get along very well at first, but…  I’d call him my best friend now. Why do you ask?”

“...Because…  There’s this boy from Johto.  His name is Gold, and he’s… followed me everywhere, gotten in the way of everything …  But he always said he cared and wanted to help.  And after what the Rockets did… He heard about it, and he came here, just to tell me he wanted to help again…  How do I believe something like that, Green?”

“Isn’t that essentially what happened between us?” Green pushed the front door open and placed Eevee on the ground.  “I mean; you didn’t trust me at first, did you? But for whatever reason, you’re still here, and you took on an Arbok when you saw me in danger?”

“...”  Silver knew that Green was right.  Why did he trust Green like this when he couldn’t trust Gold…?  “...But there was something… about you, Green…”

Green sat on the couch and gestured for Silver to do the same.  “What made you realise I was different?”

“...I don’t know…  The way you seemed to always know what to say to make me feel better…  You gave me and my Pokemon food… A bed… You gave me space, and you trusted me…  No one’s ever trusted me before…”

“So what is it about those things compared to what Gold does that sets us aside?” Green smiled down at the Eevee that leapt into his lap.  “If you really think about it, if he didn’t care… Would he still be trying to talk to you after this long? Catch a boat just to make sure you’re okay?”

Silver sighed.  “You’re right… But how can I trust him?”

“I don’t know.  I can’t tell you how to do that, Silver. Only you know the answer to that.  But I think the next time you see Gold, maybe you should listen to what he has to say.  Who knows? You might change your mind about him.”

Silver nodded and looked to his lap.  “...”

“Good.  Now, about my Gym; I can’t really battle in this condition, so would you mind filling in for me, Silver?  I trust in your ability to substitute for me.”

Silver’s eyes widened.  “M-me…? Really…? You… want me to…”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Green said softly.  He knew the other would say yes, but he didn’t want Silver to feel pressured.  “I can always call in someone else.”

“No, I... “ Silver smiled - a genuine smile.  “...I can do it, Green.  I’ll go and pick up our Pokemon from the Pokemon Centre.  I’ll be back.”

Green smiled as he watched Silver leave.  Silver seemed so happy, despite what had happened.  Maybe it hadn’t been such a horrible thing that had happened; it had helped Silver find a courage deep inside him he hadn’t known he had.  He had doubted his hate and asked questions, but most of all, Silver found himself allowing trust and love, and had been able to protect someone against the very people who had made him who he was.

The Silver that Green knew before would never have done that; would never have admitted he was unsure of something he thought he’d known for so long - that he might be wrong in his hatred against someone else and be willing to change who he was for the better.

Green was proud of Silver.  Silver had been so lost in his mind, holding onto the only things he knew; hatred, pain and anger.  But now, he was on his way to something better.

Chapter Text

Silver was excited for his new substitute position, but at the same time, he was nervous.  What if he didn’t live up to Green’s expectations? What if he wasn’t good enough and was just the failure he had been taught he was?

He couldn’t let the worries affect him, though; he had to make Green proud of him and show him he hadn’t made a mistake in choosing Silver.  So as he was told his first challenger had made it to the battle round, he steeled his emotions and got to his feet.

“I’ll meet them there,” Silver said to his assistant quietly.  His Sneasel was by his side, and he patted its head as they walked to the back of the building where his challenger awaited.  

Whatever anxiety was plaguing Silver was curbed when the door opened and a familiar hat poked through the doorway.  “Hello?”

Silver’s eyes became impossibly wide as his jaw dropped.  His first challenger… Of all people… Gold!   That…  That was not… fucking fair !  After all he had worked for, how far he had come…  He had been pitted once again against the only person constantly beating him in every encounter they had together!  

“Silver?” Gold sounded confused, and his expression didn’t betray that emotion.  “Are you a Gym Leader now?”

Silver’s eyes narrowed; no way was he admitting the truth to Gold of all people to be ridiculed!  “Yes. This is my gym now.”

Gold grinned now, and he looked happy beyond belief.  Silver didn’t trust that emotion. “That’s great. I knew you were strong enough, Silver!  Six-on-six?”

Silver disregarded all but the question.  He nodded and moved to his end of the battlefield.  “Bring it.”

Gold’s grin widened as he sent out the first PokeBall his hand came into contact with.  “We’ll make this a fun one.”

“You wish,” Silver snarled.  “I’ll beat you down into the ground.  Just you wait.”

“If you say so.” Gold sent out his first Pokemon.  “I just want to have fun.”

Silver growled deep inside at these words and focused only on harnessing as much power as possible from his Pokemon.  They’d whittled each other down slowly, their power matched almost equally, until they were down to their last Pokemon; Gold’s Typhlosion and Silver’s Feraligatr.  Silver had almost thought he was about to win, but at the last second, Typhlosion send out a Smoke Screen and Feraligatr’s Hydro Pump missed its target and was defeated by a solid Flamethrower that hit it squarely in the chest.

Silver’s eyes closed as he returned his Pokemon in silence.  What could he say? Even as a Gym Leader, he still could not beat Gold.  He turned to leave, ignoring what Gold had to say. His head was lowered as he fought back the tears.  Why couldn’t he win ?  Why was Gold… so much stronger than he was?  Why were things like this…?

“You lost to him again, huh?”

Silver startled at Green’s unexpected voice.  He looked up to find him standing on the elevated audience platform.  Silver shrugged as he looked back at his feet. “...”

“Maybe you should talk to him and discuss what he thinks you’re doing wrong,” Green suggested once he had descended to stand next to the two teens.  “He might have helpful advice for you.”

Silver shook his head.  “I don’t want to talk to him.”

Green disregarded this and instead called out to Gold.  “Gold, would you mind talking to Silver and telling him what he is doing wrong?”

Gold raised his eyebrow before he stepped forward.  He didn’t miss the way Silver flinched and stepped back with a look of fright on his face.  He watched as Green slowly wrapped his arms around Silver, only to be slapped away. Gold sighed.  “Silver, what you’re doing is -”

“- Yeah, I get it!” Silver snapped.  “I’m not good enough to my Pokemon, right?!  But I’ve tried so hard to change, and I still can’t beat you!  What makes you so much better than me?!  What?! Just because you’ve had a dream life and I haven’t…!  Maybe I made some mistakes in the past, but I’m trying… so fucking hard … to fix them!”

“Silver.” Green put his hand on Silver’s shoulder to gather his attention.  His voice was soft. “Silver, I acknowledge all the hard work you’ve put into this, but don’t you remember our conversation?”

“...I…” Silver’s eyes closed as he dropped to his knees.  He tried his hardest to hold back his emotions. “...I…”

“You’re not doing anything wrong, Silver.” Gold’s voice was soft, hesitant.  He approached Silver slowly, knowing how unpredictable and violent Silver was capable of being.  “You’re a great Trainer.  I… I honestly don’t know why I always win, but…  You’re great.”

“You’re lying!” Silver snapped.

“I’m not.” Gold finally reached Silver’s side.  He sat down next to the redhead, with his Typhlosion following.  “I’m telling you the truth! You could be a true Gym Leader if you wanted, Silver.”

“Stop it!” Silver shouted.  “You’re lying to me! You’re just trying to avoid the fact that you always win against me and I hate you!”

Gold sighed.  He reached out to put his hand on Silver’s shoulder as Green pulled him to his feet.

“We talked about this, Silver,” Green reminded.  “You said you were going to try and trust him.”

Silver did indeed remember that conversation.  He knew what he had said, and he also knew he wanted nothing more than to be able to at least try and get to know Gold, but why was it so hard ?

“...” Silver scrunched his eyes shut tight and shook his head.  He grunted and reached up to touch his forehead with trembling hands as a ferocious headache assaulted him.  “Green…”

“What do I have to do to prove that I will not hurt you?” Gold asked.  “All I want is to help you.”

Silver groaned.  He dropped himself to his knees and clutched his head to try and ease the aching.  It was pounding so badly, he thought it was going to explode. “Green…!”

Gold sighed.  “Let me help. Please.”

SIlver wanted nothing more than for this pain to stop; the physical ache and the overwhelming loneliness and anger that ate away at him every day.  But still… How did he trust Gold…?

Gold knew what he had to do; he just hoped that Silver wouldn’t kill him for it.  He reached out with open arms and pulled Silver into them to hold him tight. Silver’s eyes snapped open, and though tears still streamed down his face, he couldn’t help but return the embrace as he buried his face against Gold’s shoulder and clutched to his clothing desperately.

“Gold…!” Silver moaned in pain.  “G-gold…!”

“I’m here, Silver,” Gold whispered.  “I’m here…”

Silver didn’t even know he’d slipped out of consciousness until he’d awoken in Green’s bed, tucked in tightly.  He sat up and looked around, rubbing at his eyes. It took him a second later before he got out of bed and made his way out to the living room, following the conversation he could hear.

“Green…?” Silver stopped when he found Green and Gold sitting on the couch together.  He joined them, though he couldn’t keep his wary gaze off Gold. “Why are you here?”

“Because I wanted to be here and show you that I do care,” Gold said.  “Besides; Green and I were just talking about what we could do for you.”

“You can do me a favour and…” Silver trailed off once he remembered what Gold had done for him.  He ducked his head in shame. “...Fine…”

Gold grinned.  He acted as if nothing had ever happened between them now.  “How are you, Silver?”

“...Good…?” Silver raised his eyebrow.  Was this… how ‘friends’ spoke to each other…?  But… What was the point of asking such stupid questions?  “...I don’t undersetand why you would ask how I am…”

“It shows I care and hold interest in you, Silver.” Gold shrugged nonchalantly.  “That’s just what friends do.”

Silver drifted off into his own thoughts before he nodded.  If things weren’t going to be too personal…  He would give this a try.  “...How… are… you…?”

“I’m great, thanks!” Gold laughed.  “Wanna go grab some lunch from in town?”

Silver looked at Green, not sure how to answer.  When he received a smile in return, he nodded. “...O…  Okay…”

Green grinned as well now.  With just a bit of luck, this would be the turning point for Silver.

Chapter Text

Silver wasn’t quite sure why he was following behind Gold.  He kept distance between them, but to an outsider, it was still obvious they were traveling together as Gold was talking Silver’s ears off, despite only receiving grunts and glares and silence in response.

“I’ve never been here before,” Gold was saying as he turned to look at his newest friend.  “I wonder where the best places to eat are.”

“Idiot…” Silver mumbled under his breath before he took the lead and went to the right.

Gold tilted his head as he followed behind loyally.  “Silver? Where are you going?”

“To get food…” Silver’s voice was harsh and bitter, but Gold knew he couldn’t expect anything more.  He lead Gold to a small cafe surrounded by gardens before he stopped and glanced at him.

Gold whistled in astonishment.  “How did you know to come here?”

Silver shrugged and mumbled something again.  Though Gold didn’t catch it, he knew better than to question Silver.  They walked inside, Gold in the lead again, and made their way over to a small table towards the back of the cafe as they waited for their orders to be taken.

Silver sat on the other end of the table to put distance between them. He wasn’t comfortable, but he was trying so hard.  He wanted to prove something, not just to Green or even Gold, but to everyone who had never given him a chance. Most importantly, he wanted to prove something to himself and his father who had been so wrong about him.

“What are you going to order, Silver?” Gold asked.  There was a lazy grin on his face as he tilted his chair back.  “I could go for a chicken roll, I think.”

Silver shrugged again.  “...Food, I suppose.”

Gold laughed and sat properly once a waitress had arrived.  He ordered politely, and he was patient as Silver made his own.  When she left, he smiled at Silver and tilted back again. “This is my first time in Kanto. I think I’ll take the Gym Challenge here, too.”

Silver sneered.  “You’ll embarrass yourself.”

Gold waved it off, not bothered in the least.  “You should do it, too. We can do it together.”

“I wouldn’t go with you if my life depended on - get off me!”

Gold’s eyes widened as a tanned male with brown hair placed his hand on Silver’s shoulder and spun him around to face the newcomer.  The stranger was flirting, Gold knew, and he couldn’t help but cringe; this wasn’t going to do down well…

“Hello, beautiful,” the newcomer spoke.  “I was on my way to see the Viridian Gym Leader, but I’m glad I stopped by for lunch; just seeing a beautiful girl like you has -”

Silver shoved the brunet away with a loud snarl before he got to his feet, ready to yell and scream and, if needed, attack.  “Don’t fucking touch me, you pervert!”

Before anything more could be said, Gold jumped in between Silver and the newcomer.  His voice was cold. “Silver is not a girl, and keep your hands off him.  I won’t let you near him.”

The stranger frowned while Silver’s eyes widened; had Gold… just defended him…?  Against a stranger …?  Someone who could potentially hurt them both…?

“Gold…” Silver’s mouth opened and closed, unable to voice his thoughts.  “...”

“I…” The brunet could see just how stressed Silver had become, and he felt terrible.  He knew his advance was at fault. “...I’m very sorry… Please, let me pay for your food.”

Gold turned to Silver and reached out to put his hand on his friend’s shoulder.  “Are you okay?”

Silver’s normally cold expression was one of shock as his eyes searched Gold’s face for a hint of deception.  “...You… Y-you stopped him…”

“You’re my friend, Silver,” Gold reminded gently.  “That’s what friends do.”

“...But…” Silver couldn’t help but tear up.  He bowed his head as realisation dawned on him; Green had been right all along; Gold was a good person, after all…  “T-thank you…”

The male who had caused all this tapped Gold on the shoulder now.  “Would you mind if I sit with you guys? I really do feel terrible and I’d like to make amends if I can.”

“It’s fine.” Gold smiled.  “Pull a chair up.”

The man did as told, and once he was sitting at the table, he introduced himself.  “My name is Brock. I’m the Gym Leader of Pewter City. I’m here speak with the Viridian Gym Leader about business.”

“I’m Gold, and this is Silver,” Gold introduced.  “I’m here from Johto to take the Kanto Gym Challenge.”

“Ambitious.” Brock nodded in approval.  “How did you go in Johto?”

“Beat all seven.” Gold grinned.

Silver remained quiet as the two conversed, too confused and uncomfortable to want the attention on him.  He picked at his food once it had arrived, but he had no plans to stick around once he was finished. He stood up.  “I need to stop by the gym and then go home…”

“I’m heading that way; I’ll walk with you.” Brock stood and as well and came to Silver’s side.  He didn’t acknowledge the flinch he received in return.

“Okay…” Silver moved closer to Gold, not realising he had even done so until their shoulders brushed together.

Gold didn’t comment on it; instead, he smiled and talked happily as they went back to Green’s gym.

When Silver arrived back at the Gym and found Green awaiting Brock’s arrival, he and Gold couldn’t help but stick around as Green raised his eyebrow.

“I see you have all met,” Green said in surprise.  Silver nodded, and for once, there was no trace of his usual stoicness.  He turned back to Brock. “Shall we take this into the tearoom where it’s more comfortable?”

Brock nodded.  Silver and Gold stayed where they were, not sure if they should follow or not.  Green sensed their confusion and smiled at them. “You may join us if you wish. It’s your choice.”

Silver glanced at the ground before he looked at Gold.  He shrugged as his cold expression returned, but there was still a tiny hint of warmth in his eyes.  “I don’t care. Whatever Gold wants to do.”

Gold laughed before he took the younger male’s arm and tugged him along to exit the Gym.  “We’ll go have a battle!”

Silver tugged his arm back to his person as he grumbled around personal space, but Gold didn’t care; he was just as happy as he always was.

Chapter Text

A year had passed since Silver had been taken in by Green.  He was smiling a lot more these days, finding joy in being around the people he cared about - even if it were still only Green and Gold, he was slowly warming up to other people.  He still disliked physical contact as he found it too hard to be within close proximity to others. He had been diagnosed with PTSD, but with treatment, he was quickly learning how to handle it.

Silver was happy, and that was all that mattered because in moments like these, with Green cooking lunch for him and Gold, he felt at peace.  Eevee sat by his side and rubbed against his leg, and Silver leaned down to pat it behind the ears.

“Smell good, Eevee?” Green called out as he prepared the last of the onigiri.  “Do you want to try some?”

“Eevee!” The Pokemon smiled up at its owner as its tail wagged.

Green smiled as he moved to place one of the rolls in Eevee’s food bowl.  He went back to the counter and looked through the window to see what the boys were up to.  He watched as his own Pokemon played with Silver’s, the creatures as happy as could be. Silver’s newly-evolved Crobat was sitting on Feraligatr’s head, seemingly trying to nap.

In the living room, Gold lounged about on the couch while Silver sat on the other end, his nose up in the air as he frowned upon his friend’s lazy habits.  He himself sat in a much more dignified manner, his back straight as he kept his hands clasped neatly in his lap.

“Put the next movie on, please,” Gold asked as he slipped into what Silver could only think was an even more uncomfortable position, with his legs resting at the top of the couch and his head hanging upside down just above the floor.

Silver rolled his eyes as he got off the couch and moved to the DVD player.  He picked up the case that was sitting on the stand, and he glared at it as if it were the cause of his annoyance, but he spoke to the older teenager lazing behind him.

“Why are we watching this crap?” Silver asked as he opened the case and popped the disc out so he could slip it into the DVD player.

“Because it’s good.” Gold smiled at his best friend.  “And I know you like it, too.”

“Pft.  Whatever…”  Silver pressed play on the DVD player once the menu popped up before he took his position back on the couch.  He shoved at Gold’s feet when they came to rest in his lap after Gold had moved back into a (semi) normal position.

“I’m not your personal footrest!’ Silver hissed.

“Yeah, yeah.” Gold’s playful grin widened when Green appeared in the living room with a tray of Onigiri in hand.  “Gee, thanks, Green!”

“Thank you…” Silver mumbled quietly as he grabbed a small rice ball and forgot his annoyance at Gold.

“Sit up so I can join you,” Green said.  He moved to the side of the couch when Gold moved closer to Silver.  He laughed at the uncomfortable expression on Silver’s face as Gold wrapped his arms around him.  “Don’t pout, Silver.”

Silver’s frown turned into a scowl.  He shoved at his friend before he crossed his arms over his chest.  “I do not pout, Green.”

“Sure, you don’t,” Gold teased as he poked at Silver with a persistent finger.

Silver’s scowl continued to grow, but soon he smiled when the other two burst into laughter.  He knew they were only playing and, because he was still new at the concept, his own laugh was hesitant as he ever-so-slowly untrained his habit of restraining his emotions.

But with Gold and Green around him, Silver was certain he could learn to laugh freely soon enough.