Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jeongguk is pissed off.

He and Taehyung, Yoongi can see it. They're pouting, lower lips pushed out and arms folded in a way that is quite adorable.

"Why can Jimin see and not us?" Taehyung demands. He's always been the more vocal of the two. Jeongguk just shuffles his feet but the two red spots on his cheeks convey his flush.

"Because you're not old enough," Seokjin says simply and Yoongi smirks at the way Taehyung's mouth pouts even more.

"Jimin's only two months older!" he protests.

"Well then, in two month's time you can see."

Jimin, to be fair, looks a little bit terrified as he stares down at the skin magazine spread open on his lap. The other older boys are crowded around him, Namjoon and Seokjin squashed either side of him on the tiny couch, Hoseok sat on the arm of the sofa with his back against the wall and Yoongi is sitting on the floor by their feet. He stretches.

"Don't bend it too much, I had to smuggle that in," he says.

"What do you think, Jiminie?" Hoseok asks, his eyes glued to the model on the page. She's pretty, with long hair and small natural breasts. Jimin cautiously turns the page and is met with an eyeful of vagina. He squeaks a little, and then coughs to hide the sound.

"It's, uh, really something," he says, trying to make his voice sound deeper.

"You can keep it," Yoongi says unhelpfully and Jimin flinches, kicking him with his feet.

"I couldn't possibly-"

"It's fine, plenty more where that came from." A lie. Yoongi has such a hard time trying to find porn magazines, hence why they save it for birthdays and special occasions. "You're a man now, Jimin."

Jimin, too his credit, only looks a mild shade of green at the thought. He turns the page and gawps.

"Oh yeah, lesbians," Namjoon murmurs, leaning for a closer look. Taehyung grunts and stomps to the corner of the room to sulk, but Yoongi's eyes are glued to Jeongguk. The youngest boy is still shuffling his feet, his face and ears bright red.

"You like that, Jeongguk-ah?" Seokjin asks, and they all laugh when Jeongguk shakes his head violently.

"N-no," he splutters and Taehyung huffs in disgust.

"Come on, Jeongguk. We don't need them," he says, grabbing Jeongguk by the arm and dragging him in the direction of his bedroom. "None of you are invited to play video games!"

Jimin looks horrified at the prospect, and Yoongi thinks he's about to get up and run after them to beg to be allowed to play too. Unfortunately, the other boys are holding his shoulder, keeping him in place so they can gawp at the pages. Yoongi plays on his phone and thinks about the flush on Jeongguk's cheeks.

He remembers being that age; sex had been an embarrassing topic for him then, also, and the thought of discussing it with anyone else would have made him cringe. That being said, Yoongi rarely discusses sex with the other boys now. It's fair to say that his tastes can rather differ than theirs.

Later that night, he is wriggling around under the covers, getting ready to shut off and go to sleep when Seokjin wanders in, dressed in his pajamas and carrying the porno magazine. Yoongi is offended. "That's Jimin's," he says pointedly.

Seokjin glances at the magazine and shrugs before climbing into his own bed. "He said I could borrow it. I'll give it back, but Hobi wants to use it next."

"…Ew." Yoongi doesn't want to think about how sticky the pages will get.

"I don't know how into it Jimin was," Seokjin carries on breezily. "Maybe it's not his thing. Maybe you should lend him one of yours?"

"That was one of mine."

"Well, y'know…" Now Seokjin has the audacity to blush. "One of your other ones?"

"One of the gay ones, you mean?"

Seokjin splutters. "You say it so loudly," he says. "But yeah, one of those."

"It's just a word, hyung. I'm not even gay."

"No, I know." Seokjin takes a breath. "One of the gay ones." He looks proud of himself for saying it. "Maybe he'd like one of them?"

Yoongi shrugs, staring at the ceiling. "I'm not sure if I'm ready for him to know yet," he admits. "You and Joonie are the only ones I've told."

"Hey, it's no pressure," Seokjin says casually. "But I really think that if you did tell him, he wouldn't mind. We didn't."

It's a fair point. When Yoongi had come out to Seokjin as bisexual (a complete accident; the older boy had found porn on his computer), he'd been shocked and a bit defensive. Yoongi got it; it was the environment that the older boy had been raised in, because Yoongi had been raised the same. However, there was nothing like realizing you liked cock as well as pussy to make you rethink your internalized-homophobic ideology. Yoongi is actually proud of the older boy; he can see that Seokjin was trying and for the most part, he's a damn good sport about it.

He'd told Namjoon soon after; as their leader, he felt it was something he should know. Namjoon had been supportive straight away, as, like Yoongi, he was passionate about equal rights within the LBGTQ+ community. They were the only people that knew, and Yoongi would like it to stay that way for now.

"I guess you're right." He wriggles again to get comfy, when he sees Seokjin staring at him. "What?"

Seokjin clears his throat. "Are you…planning on staying?" he asks.

Yoongi blinks. "Why would I not? It's bedtime."

"Well…" Seokjin coughs again. The tips of his ears have gone bright red. "I was just wondering if…Maybe you could…Could you at least put some headphones in?"

Yoongi frowns. Then the implication of what his friend means sinks in, and he makes a face. "That's disgusting!"

"I've got needs! Surely you can understand that."

"This is my room too!"

"I'm not saying you have to leave," Seokjin says in a way that totally implies that he is. "I need like fifteen minutes."

"More like fifteen seconds…"

"Yoongi!" The older boy is spluttering, sitting up in bed with a bright red face as Yoongi snorts. He pulls back the covers and swings his legs out of bed. "Where are you going?

"I'm gonna go nap on the couch. Wake me up if you're done any time soon?"

Yoongi grabs his pillow, laptop and the blanket he drapes over the bed to add extra warmth in the winter, and leaves the bedroom, closing the door quietly so that he doesn't have to wake anyone else up.

Sulking, he pads out into the common room, trying to ignore how cold the floorboards are on his bare feet. He wishes he'd brought slippers, or at least a pair of socks, but they're safely tucked away in his drawers and right now his room is a no-go zone, less he wants to get an eyeful of Seokjin taming the one-eyed snake to a blurry photo of some fit lesbians.

He shoves some of the junk that covers the couch onto a nearby armchair, which is fast becoming their designated 'crap pile'. It's mainly people's hoodies and jackets that they throw off and then can't be bothered to put away properly.

Propping himself up using his pillow and two couch cushions, Yoongi situates himself under the blanket, setting up his laptop and wriggling around to get comfortable. The TV remote is digging into his back, and he flops around, trying to grab at it. He throws it on the floor, watches as it slides under the coffee table, and he settles back into his original position as he waits for his laptop to warm up.

He's forgotten his headphones in his room; a rookie mistake, but luckily Namjoon had left his sitting out on the side. Yoongi plans on just watching Netflix until he falls asleep. He's watching some American series at the moment with the subtitles on, and the reading always makes him tired.

He's found a comfortable position, lying on his side with his cheek mashed against the arm of the couch, and he's just about asleep, eyes heavy lidded and drooping. He hears a door sliding open, the tell-tale bang when someone pushed it too hard and it smacks into the wall, and the sound has his jerking back into full consciousness.

Sitting up, hair sticking out at funny angles, he waits to see if anyone is going to come down the hallway. Sure enough, a few seconds later, Jeongguk creeps into the common room. His hair is damp, and he's only wearing a loose pair of boxer-briefs with an ill-fitting black T-shirt that looks greyer with age and usage. He's rubbing his wet hair with a towel and jumps when he sees Yoongi.

"Hyung!" he squeaks, clearly taken by surprise.

"Jungkookie," Yoongi greets, giving him a nod. Jeongguk glances around; he's wringing the towel between his hands, twisting it as tight as it'll go and then untwisting it again. "Bit late for a shower, no?"

Jeongguk blushes. "I didn't think anyone else was awake," he says quietly. "I don't like to bother people, so I shower a bit later."

They all know this, of course. Jeongguk is always so shy and unassuming; he hates getting in the way. Yoongi gets it, because he is quiet too, but Yoongi's quiet is different to Jeongguk's quiet. Yoongi is like a brewing storm; you sense he's there, but you don't want to piss him off. Jeongguk, right now, is like a doormouse; creeping around terrified of being caught lest the exterminators are called in.

"Why would you taking a shower bother people?" Yoongi asks. They're all working hard to make Jeongguk feel like he's part of the group. Yoongi has noticed that the boy is a lot less jerky around Taehyung and Jimin. It makes sense; they're closer in age, and he and Taehyung are like two peas in a pod. However, he can sense that Jeongguk is still holding back around the older boys and he wants to change that. It is, after all, their group.

Jeongguk shrugs. "I guess I just don't like being in the way," he mumbles, staring at his feet. Yoongi watches him carefully. Jeongguk's hair has started to drip. It's darkening the collar of his shirt, making the damp fabric cling to his skin in certain places. He looks so small, so innocent, and Yoongi's heart softens.

"You'll get sick, standing there with your hair all wet." Swinging his legs over the edge of the couch, Yoongi throws back the blanket and pats the spot next to him. "Come, sit."

"I don't want to bother you, hyung-"

"Come on, I'm not offering. I am telling you, as your hyung, that you must come and sit with me here where it is warm."

Jeongguk smiles, nibbling his lower lip, and he's padding across the room, sliding onto the sofa besides Yoongi. He keeps a distance between them that Yoongi doesn't question. He tosses the blanket over Jeongguk's legs, which he can see are prickly with goosebumps and reaches for his laptop. He unplugs the headphones and settles the laptop between them. "Pick what you want to watch," he says.

Jeongguk looks surprised; as the youngest, he often just goes along with what other people want. It's rare that people ask him what he wants to do. He picks a movie; something dumb with lots of gunfire and action shots, and Yoongi can already feel his eyelids getting heavy.

After a while, he becomes aware that Jeongguk is still shivering. "Are you cold?" he asks.

"N-no…" Jeongguk splutters, but his chattering teeth say otherwise.

"Come here," Yoongi commands, lifting his arm. Jeongguk gulps and Yoongi beckons to him. Slowly, Jeongguk slides along the couch and then situates himself under Yoongi's arm. "Relax, kid, it's alright," Yoongi breathes, stifling a yawn. Jeongguk trembles and then Yoongi feels the moment the tension drains from his body. Jeongguk goes lax against him, his head lolling on his chest. Yoongi winds the blanket around them tighter, resting his cheek on the top of Jeongguk's head and tucking the blanket under his chin. "Better?" He feels Jeongguk nod.

They stay like that for a while. After a bit, Jeongguk's other arm slowly comes around to hold Yoongi's other side so that he's snuggly tucked around Yoongi's front, cheek pressed to his chest as he watches the movie. Yoongi has long since started napping, only waking up when he feels Jeongguk wriggle a little.

Jeongguk starts to fidget more consistently. It makes Yoongi raise his head, blinking blearily as the younger boy squirms around and when he looks at the screen, he sees why. The film has progressed to a sex scene.

Whilst not enough to be classed as anything hardcore, the breathy panting of the actor's filters through Yoongi's tinny laptop speakers, the woman's soft whines and the man's breathier moans, and Jeongguk is still wriggling. "H-hyung…" Jeongguk says, his voice cracking, and Yoongi isn't that cruel. He lets the boy go and Jeongguk shoots to the other side of the sofa, dragging the blanket into his lap. He's blushing, face red.

"…You good?" Yoongi asks kindly and Jeongguk's head bobs.

"Y-yeah…" he mumbles. "I just, had a, y'know…a cramp."

A cramp. Yoongi closes the laptop, and the room is plunged into darkness and silence. "Yeah, I get cramps a lot too," Yoongi says, prodding Jeongguk's meaty thigh with one cold toe.

"Hey, hyung?" Yoongi grunts. "Why are you sleeping out here? Did you and Seokjin-hyung have a fight or something?"

Oh, sweet, innocent Jeongguk. "Seokjin-hyung just needed a bit of alone time." Yoongi shoots him a pointed look. "Think he wanted to take care of his cramps."

"O-oh…" Jeongguk blushes again, staring down at his lap.

"It's ok, y'know?" Yoongi settles back on the couch, swinging his legs around so he's lying down, his legs in Jeongguk's lap. "You're not weird, if that's what you're worried about."

"It's not that, it's just…" Jeongguk swallows. "No one's really told me anything, hyung...if that makes any sense. My parents didn't exactly have time to give me that talk and what I learned in school was just…Besides, I'm the youngest. I'm not supposed to be interested in s-…in that sort of thing."

"That's stupid," Yoongi says and Jeongguk cringes. "No, it is, Jungkookie, that's stupid. You're a young man, of course you can want to know about sex. Look at you, you can't even say the word!"

"Hyung-"

"Say it."

"Hyung, I can't-"

"Just say it and I'll leave you alone."

Jeongguk looks defeated. "Sex," he mumbles and Yoongi sits back.

"See, that wasn't so hard was it?"

"…No."

"You don't have to be embarrassed about it," Yoongi points out. "Hell, I'd be more worried if you weren't interested in it." Jeongguk licks his lips. Now that Yoongi's eyes have adjusted, he can see that they're plump where he's been biting them, slick and shiny with spit. "You watch porn?" Yoongi asks softly and Jeongguk shakes his head violently. "Do you want to?"

"S-sometimes…" It's nothing more than a whisper.

Yoongi takes a deep breath. "…Do you want to watch some now?"

Jeongguk's head snaps up and he stares at him. "Y-you mean, right now?" he asks, "Like- like right. Now?"

Yoongi shrugs. "Yeah."

"With you?"

"Well…" Yoongi is a little taken aback. "No, not with me. I mean, I was going to find you some and leave you to it, but if you want…"

"I mean, we can watch it together," Jeongguk says quickly, "If you'd like to."

Yoongi watches the younger boy, waiting for him to start blushing and spluttering like he normally would. But Jeongguk just looks back at him, nose twitching occasionally and so Yoongi shrugs, reaching over and opening his laptop. He closes down Netflix, and waits another moment, giving Jeongguk ample opportunity to back out. The couch shifts as Jeongguk slides into a more comfortable position, and Yoongi swallows, wriggling and opening his preferred porn browser. He goes to the search bar and clicks, just watching the cursor move. "You got any preferences?" he asks Jeongguk.

The younger boy licks his lips again and shifts closer to get a better look at the screen. One thick thigh touches Yoongi's, and the older boy has to take a moment to wonder when he lost control of the situation. Probably the bit where he asked Jeongguk if he wanted to watch porn on his computer.

Jeongguk's eyes are tracing the pop-up ads of models with big doe eyes and big doughy breasts. He swallows audibly and sits back, hands clenching on his thighs. "I- I don't know, hyung…" he admits, his teenage brain no doubt overwhelmed.

Yoongi takes a breath. He has to get back in control of this. "Hhmm," he hums, and thinks back to earlier to when the older boys had been looking through the porno magazine. He thinks about Jeongguk, pressed into a corner with large eyes and flushing red cheeks. "You like lesbians, right?"

Jeongguk chokes a little, but Yoongi hears him confirm yes. Yoongi types lesbians into the search bar and waits, scrolling through the results till he finds a good one. It's a decent length, about ten minutes, which was good because it meant it skipped out the poor acting and stupid backstory and got to the good stuff.

Yoongi still skips ahead to two minutes in anyway, and they're greeted with the sight of a woman lying on her back, moaning exaggeratedly whilst another woman lies between her legs, sucking her clitoris and fingering her. Jeongguk blows out a breath as Yoongi turns down the volume slightly and then sets the laptop down on the coffee table.

Personally, Yoongi hates girl-on-girl porn. It's too played up; too fake, like it's designed for what men think lesbian sex should be like. He's always preferred straight porn, or guy-on-guy, or bisexual porn because at least the men can't physically fake their orgasms. He settles back into the couch, tired as he watches the girls on the screen move on to scissoring one another.

He tries not to roll his eyes as one of them starts whining, moans of "oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh fuck, fuck yeah" pouring through the room. He glances over at Jeongguk and gulps at the sight, the first real clenches of arousal hitting him.

Jeongguk is watching the screen, enraptured, mouth open and tongue wet. His eyes are big and glassy, glowing in the light of the screen and a small bead of sweat has appeared on his brow. He swallows audibly when the camera zooms in on the girls on the screen, the way their thighs are grinding together, the slick sounds of wet flesh on wet flesh and he breathes out, the end of the exhale catching on a little moan.

He's so focused on the screen that Yoongi risks a peak down; Jeongguk is hard against his leg. He's yet to touch himself though, and Yoongi wants to rectify this.

"You can touch," he says softly and Jeongguk jumps, like he'd forgotten Yoongi was there.

"Are you sure? I don't want to make you-"

"Kid, trust me," Yoongi says, "It's fine." Jeongguk doesn't react straight away. He's still staring at the video, and Yoongi shuffles forwards on his butt. "I'm gonna change the video, ok?"

He searches up for amateur solo girls and selects a video of a woman wearing an anime top and a pair of lacy panties. Jeongguk gulps at the sight of her lying on her bed, knees bent and spread, and Yoongi knows he's hooked.

Yoongi still isn't totally engaged in the porn but he's starting to get aroused at least. He rolls his head back against the couch, and lightly touches the inside of his thighs. After a few moments, he notices Jeongguk shifting around, and then the steady slow moments of his hand as it moves under the blanket.

Yoongi takes a breath and closes his eyes. Over the sounds coming from the computer, he can hear the tell-tale slick slide of flesh against wet flesh and he blows out the breath he'd been holding shakily.

"I should go…" he mumbles, going to rise to his feet. Jeongguk stops immediately.

"No, hyung, don't go," he begs.

"I don't want to embarrass you," Yoongi swallows and Jeongguk folds his hands in his lap.

"What happened to it being something I don't need to be embarrassed about?" he asks shyly, the corner of his mouth pulling up in a cocky grin. Yoongi is a bit taken aback, then he snorts softly.

"Touché," he mumbles, settling back into the couch. Jeongguk's hand inch under the blankets again.

"Y'know," he says, and Yoongi's poor heart splutters when he sees Jeongguk's fist start to move again. "You can touch yourself too."

Yoongi wonders if this is what a heart attack feels like. He glances at Jeongguk, just in time to catch the boy moaning softly, a choked off pained little gasp on the upstroke. Nope, not a heart attack…an aneurism perhaps?

Yoongi licks his lips; they feel impossibly dry. "Fuck," he says, "Ok…Ok, fuck." Springing to his feet, he reaches across the coffee table and grabs a box of tissues, placing them between them. "We've gotta be careful, can't make a mess," he says, taking a handful, and Jeongguk just groans, louder this time as the girl on the screen starts to fuck herself with a big blue dildo she seemed to magic from somewhere. His fist speeds up and the slick sound Yoongi heard earlier sounds soppier.

Fuck, he must be really wet, Yoongi thinks, and the thought has him tightening his fist that he now has around himself inside his pajama pants. He starts to jerk himself off at a moderate pace, head facing the screen, but every so often his eyes will flick to Jeongguk as he watches the way the younger boy throws his head back and moans.

"How does it feel?" Yoongi can't resist asking and Jeongguk sobs.

"It feels- good, fuck, so good. Hyung!"

Jeongguk tenses up, head falling against the couch as he whines pitifully, and Yoongi can see the way his hips are twitching violently under the blanket. Yoongi's stomach cramps up at the sight.

"Fuck, did you just-?"

"Yeah…" Jeongguk whines. Then he squirms, moaning for an entirely different reason. "I forgot tissues…" he groans, and his whole body sinks in embarrassment.

Yoongi is so close, he can feel it, but the sight of Jeongguk nearly crippled in humiliation feels wrong to jerk off too. With great reluctance, he removes his hand from his boxers and quickly shuts the laptop.

"What's happening?" he asks.

Jeongguk hisses when he moves. "I-it's everywhere..." he moans and Yoongi sighs; he put tissues there for a reason.

"Hey, kid. Jungkookie? You with me?" Jeongguk grunts unhappily, face pressed into a cushion. "It's ok, come on. We'll get you cleaned up, yeah?" He hands Jeongguk his unused tissues. "Wipe your hands, c'mon."

Getting to his feet, Yoongi tactfully tucks his boner into the waistband of his pants and then helps Jeongguk up of the couch. The boy is a bit wobbly on his legs. Yoongi leads him into the bathroom, flicking on the light and he sits Jeongguk down on the closed toilet seat.

"Hyung, I'm sorry."

"Stop it, it's fine. Get yourself cleaned up." Yoongi hands him a towel. "I'm going to get you some clean boxers." Jeongguk is still blushing but he obediently wets down the towel to start sorting himself out.

Yoongi heads back into the common room, gathering up his blanket. There's a wet stain on it, where Jeongguk came and some of it leaked out of his boxers. Yoongi sighs mournfully; he'll wait and wash it when he's got Jeongguk's used boxers.

He creeps into the room that Jeongguk shares with Namjoon and is instantly assaulted by the sound of Namjoon snoring. Rolling his eyes, Yoongi starts to dig through Jeongguk's drawers in search of a clean pair of boxers.

Behind him, Namjoon rolls over and snorts. "Huh? Whazz 'ppin?" he asks sleepily. "…Hyung?"

"Go back to sleep, Namjoon, you're dreaming," Yoongi mutters.

"Dreamin'…?"

"Yeah, go back to sleep, it's all ok."

"Ok," the young boy nods. "'s all ok, I'm just dreaming…"

Yoongi leaves him to his mumbling as he goes back to the bathroom, spunky blanket and clean boxers tucked under his arm. He knocks on the bathroom door. "You decent?"

"Um…" he hears Jeongguk call out. "Yeah."

Slowly, Yoongi opens the door. Jeongguk blushes. He's standing by the sink with a towel tucked around his waist. "Here." Yoongi hands him the clean boxers, which Jeongguk pulls on a little too eagerly, and starts to wash his hands. "Kid, I can hear you thinking from over here," he says over the sound of water running.

He turns to look at Jeongguk. Jeongguk is slightly taller than him now. He's still growing, and over the last few years, he's shot up like a bean pole. He's handsome too, Yoongi thinks. He's losing the last of his puppy fat, and their rigorous training means that he is building up stable muscle definition. He's going to be beautiful.

Wiping his hands on his pants, Yoongi gives him a nod and folds his arms. "I'm serious. Don't overthink it, or you'll stress yourself out. It's totally fine. It's normal."

Jeongguk nods weakly. "Ok, hyung…thanks," he says, "For taking care of me and…y'know."

"Anytime, Jungkookie." Jeongguk reaches for his boxers and Yoongi stops him. "It's ok, I've got it. You need to get to bed." Jeongguk heads for the door as Yoongi gathers up the soiled fabrics to be washed. Just as the door is about to close, Yoongi swallows his nerves and says, "Hey, Jeongguk?" The younger boy pokes his head in. Yoongi gives him a small smile which he hopes looks inviting, and not queasy with nerves (which is how he feels). "I really meant that. Anytime."

Chapter Text

Anytime turns out to be…a lot of the time.

After that fateful night, Yoongi had calmly put on a load in the washing machine set to spin, and then had gone into the bathroom and jerked off so violently into some toilet paper, he feared he might have chaffing.

Back in his room, he’d found Seokjin spread out on his bed with the magazine open beside him, the pages displaying a girl doing some rather questionable things with a traffic cone. With a shudder, Yoongi climbed into his own bed and promptly passed out into sleep.

The following morning he was the second to last out of the dorms, eyelids dry and tight from not having enough sleep. They’d got a busy day of rehearsals and writing ahead that he didn’t feel alive enough for.

They’d all crowded around the dining table, doing well to mind each other as they filled their plates. They’d lived together for long enough to have mealtimes running like clockwork. Yoongi managed to dodge Taehyung’s seeking elbow without looking as the younger boy reached for the eggs, whilst Hoseok was shoveling rice onto Jimin’s plate, who was staring blankly at his meal like it held the secret to life itself.

Yoongi just wanted coffee right then. Namjoon was pouring him a cup when Jeongguk stumbled in. The youngest boy looked like a toddler waking up from a nap, still half asleep, hair sticking up wildly all over the place. He rubbed sulkily at his eyes with a knuckle, stretching, and his T-shirt rose up to reveal the flat of his stomach. Yoongi started to chug his coffee faster, despite how it burned his tongue and throat.

“Jeongguk-ah, come and eat,” Seokjin commanded, who already had a full plate ready for him. The youngest boy toddled over, slumping down into a small gap between Yoongi and Hoseok. There wasn’t really enough room, so Yoongi lifted his arm and Jeongguk had slid into the space created there, reaching for his chopsticks and resting his head on Yoongi’s shoulder.

Across the table, Seokjin had raised an eyebrow at him. Yoongi shrugged.

He’d expected Jeongguk to go back to being his same shy awkward self after That Night (as Yoongi has taken to calling it in his head). And he was right, to an extent. Jeongguk was, and is, still quiet; still stuck in that in-between phase of being a boy and a man where he wants to be cool but he’s constantly afraid of looking like an idiot. Anything he does is followed by a shy self-deprecating laugh, and Yoongi finds himself looking forward to the day when Jeongguk can finally say he is happy in his own skin.

Around the other boys, Jeongguk is just the same. He blushes more than he should and accepts their pressing needs for cuddles easily. Yoongi notices that he banters with the boys more often now, less afraid to tease Jimin fondly or make a funny remark about Seokjin. He physically grows bigger and broader; he’s strong now, forearms getting firmer and the soft of his tummy hardening into muscle. It really is a sight to be held, and Yoongi marvels at how he gets to watch Jeongguk grow as a person each day.

There are, of course…other things.

Things that the rest of the group don’t know about. To them, Jeongguk is still this innocent little cherub, their sweet little Kookie, and for the most part he is; Yoongi enjoys a good cuddle with him as much as the next boy does, he cannot deny.

However, Yoongi also knows that Jeongguk has another side to him now. It’s a side that Yoongi doesn’t get to see as often, perhaps, as he’d like, but one that always makes his heart beat faster and his belly go warm with arousal.

It all starts when he returns from his studio one night, coming back to the dorms to find Jeongguk tucked up on the couch, blanket over his knees and headphones plugged into the laptop that he’s got balanced on a cushion. He sits to attention when he sees Yoongi enter the room, tucking one large earphone behind his ear so he can hear. “Hyung, you’re back.”

Yoongi eases himself out of his coat and facemask, and chucks them on the Crap Pile. He toes of his boots and stretches, wincing when he hears his back pop. “You should be asleep,” he says.

“How was the studio?” Jeongguk asks and Yoongi doesn’t even blink.

“Jeongguk-ah, why aren’t you in bed?” He tries really hard not to feel like a parent who’s just caught their child playing with toys after lights out. It makes his current train of thought, which revolves around Jeongguk sitting there in one of his baggy T-shirts, collar bones exposed and hair messy, feel even more inappropriate.

Jeongguk nibbles on his lip. “I couldn’t sleep,” he says, “And you’re always back so late, it’s like I don’t see you.”

“You see me every day.”

“But I don’t see you,” the younger boy emphasizes. “Plus, Joon-hyung is snoring and I wasn’t tired, and you always come back here so late by yourself; Seokjin-hyung says it’s not good to be on your own-”

“Jeongguk-ah.” Yoongi takes a seat at the end of the couch and pulls Jeongguk’s feet onto his lap where they’re poking out from underneath the blanket. His toes are freezing so Yoongi starts to rub them before progressing to actually massaging Jeongguk’s feet. He doesn’t miss the way the boy swallows, a heavy gulping sound. “Tell me the truth,” he says softly, working at a particularly hard notch in the sole of Jeongguk’s right foot. “What are you really doing up?”

Jeongguk opens his mouth to respond, and a little whine escapes. He blushes and then tries again. “I- I wanted to see you,” he says. Yoongi hums, pinching his toe. Jeongguk stammers again. “A-and I was hoping you might…y’know…”

“I might what?”

“That you might…you might want to…do that- the…the thing…again…with…” A small swallow. “Me.”

Yoongi shouldn’t be cruel, he really shouldn’t, but he’s tired and he’s had an extremely long day. He can’t resist a little teasing and so he says, “Thing? What thing? Dance practice? Video games? What?”

Jeongguk whines and prods him with his toe. “Hyung, don’t tease.”

“I’m not teasing, I don’t know what you mean.”

“You’re making fun of me.” When Yoongi looks up, Jeongguk’s lower lip is protruding in a severe pout and Yoongi blows on his ankle, watching in fascination at how Jeongguk’s leg breaks into goose pimples and makes him shudder.

“I’m not,” he says, serious. “I won’t tease anymore, I promise. I just want to hear you say it.”

“The- the thing, the…” Jeongguk looks around, like it’s not just to two of them in a room together. “The porn,” he whispers.

“Ah.” Yoongi had suspected (and hoped) that that’s what Jeongguk would say. He flashes Jeongguk a smirk to hide his nerves. “And why would we do that again?”

Jeongguk’s mouth drops open and then he looks indignant, brow creasing. “Y-you said!” he hisses, but Yoongi is still rubbing his feet so it comes out all garbled. “You said so, hyung, anytime, you said!”

“Don’t be a brat, Jungkookie,” Yoongi says, digging his thumb in and Jeongguk yelps.

“Please,” he says, and his voice has dropped to a quiet, high pitched mumble. Yoongi actually does a double take at that; Jeongguk is not one to say please often. As the youngest in his family, and the baby of the boy band, he rarely needs too as he’s got everyone wrapped around his little finger and he knows it. To hear him plead is…interesting.

“You couldn’t do it yourself?” Yoongi asks slowly.

“It’s not the same,” Jeongguk says and Yoongi gets him; he’s been struggling to jerk off for weeks now, now that he has had a taste. He keeps that to himself though. “You make it good, hyung. You…you know what turns me on.”

Yoongi stifles a groan at that. Jeongguk doesn’t seem to realize how much that is affecting him. “The others would be very angry,” he says thoughtfully as Jeongguk shifts his weight. Fingers curl in his sleeve, twisting and untwisting. Jeongguk is gazing at him with large expressive eyes. “They’d say I was corrupting you.” It’s a touch dramatic but it has the desired effect. Jeongguk’s feet leave his lap but it’s because the other boy is getting on his knees, effectively begging, right there on the couch.

“I won’t tell them,” Jeongguk nods quickly. “I won’t say anything, I promise.”

“You won’t tell Taehyung? Or Jimin?”

"Why would I, they don’t tell me anything.” Anything about sex, is the implication.

 Yoongi spares a moment to pray to a god that he doesn’t believe in, then reaches for Jeongguk’s laptop. “When you put it like that…”

And so begins the ritual. It starts of as once every three weeks. Then it moves on to once every two weeks. Before they know it, they’re down to once a week. Yoongi now finds himself disappointed when he gets home late at night and Jeongguk isn’t curled up on the couch waiting for him.

It goes like this: Yoongi will return from the studio at around midnight (because he can sit and fiddle with his music for hours with little to no qualms) where he’ll find Jeongguk waiting for him on the sofa, who will usually be dicking around on his laptop. From there, they’ll make small talk till Jeongguk’s hands start to get too fidgety or if Yoongi’s patience just runs out. Then Yoongi will open the laptop and hand it to Jeongguk who’ll pick a video that he’s in the mood for, and the two of them will watch porn together till the temptation to touch becomes too much and they’re sticky with cum, before Yoongi’s ushering them to the bathroom for a quick clean up and then bed.

After That Night, Jeongguk is a lot handier with his tissues, and there’s only been one awkward encounter where Taehyung found a suspicious stain on the couch cushion. Yoongi had to lie and say he split milk. Yoongi hates milk.

Sometimes, Yoongi will get back and Jeongguk is already asleep, dead to the world and fucking up his back by sleeping squashed up on the uncomfortable couch cushions. On those nights, Yoongi slides on to the sofa beside him and Jeongguk will unconsciously wind himself around Yoongi like a cuddly octopus, mumbling in his sleep and nuzzling his head against Yoongi’s chest. Yoongi likes these nights just as much as the one’s where they get off together; there’s something about lying there and holding Jeongguk which is just…nice. The boy is so trusting in him; so open and ready for love and attention and it melts Yoongi’s cold little heart just a bit.

He tries not to overthink things too much, because that is a dangerous game to be playing. The whole situation is a dangerous game, he reprimands himself one afternoon when they’re taking a break in dance rehearsals. He’s collapsed on his back, slugging water like his life depends on it. Across the room, Jeongguk is giving Taehyung a piggyback so he can throw disposable makeup sponges at Hoseok. He hitches Taehyung higher up his back, laughing, cheeks flushed and hairline sweaty.

It reminds Yoongi of how he looks when he’s masturbating. And ok, fine, maybe Yoongi does watch Jeongguk more than he watches the screen. He can’t really help it though; Jeongguk’s porn is predictable. It’s all lesbians and girls with dildos and over the top whining. Yoongi wants so badly to educate him in the other possibilities that porn can present; one could discover a kink they didn’t even though they had, but for now, he is perfectly content to voyeur at Jeongguk when the younger boy touches himself.

Any prodding from Yoongi is out of the question; he’s already overstepped a mark by even allowing this to happen in the first place. Jeongguk seems so young, and it makes Yoongi feel old; the thought leaves him feeling dirty and so, so hot at the same time. When he has a panting, sweating, squirming Jeongguk frantically jerking off beside him under a blanket, Yoongi isn’t exactly going to be complaining and questioning all of his life choices. 

He has to be careful though. They’re becoming careless, too eager. It would only take one of the other boys deciding they needed a glass of water in the middle of the night for them to be discovered, curled up together mutually masturbating to some crappy third-rate porn.

He has to be careful with feelings also, though he tries to block that out. Unlike the others, Yoongi does like boys; has the capability of being attracted to and, even, developing feelings for boys. Whilst he would never consciously try to develop feelings for one of his bandmates, there’s something about seeing them coming in pleasure that can really change his perspectives of things.

And Jeongguk is a very pretty boy. 

“Pick a good one,” Yoongi says. He and Jeongguk are spread out on the couch, blankets laid out, laptop open and tissues at the ready.

Jeongguk hums softly, perched on the edge of the couch with his tongue poking between his teeth. His fingers hover over the keys as he thinks, and he starts prodding the inside of his cheeks with his tongue, making the lean of his cheekbones bulge obscenely.

Yoongi catches sight of him doing it and gulps. Jeongguk looks good tonight. He’s showered, and his hair has dried with a slight kink to it, giving it a soft subtle wave. His cheeks are a bit flushed, from the heat of the shower and his anticipation for what’s to come, eyes glassy in the light of the laptop.

Yoongi’s hands clench uselessly, pinching the fabric of the blanket that covers his lap. He wants to touch himself to the image of Jeongguk’s tongue in his cheek, imaging it’s a dick instead. Preferably Yoongi’s.

“You found anything yet?” he asks, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice when three minutes have passed and Jeongguk’s still scrolling. He’s been highly strung all day, snapping at the younger boys more than normal. He’s being a dick, he knows, but it’s because he’s thinking of his dick. It’s worrying him that this is starting to become to only way he can get off and feel satisfied; he hasn’t had sex in months, and lonely solo wanks in the shower aren’t doing it for him anymore, not when Jeongguk has been unintentionally spoiling him for such a long time now.

Jeongguk chews on the inside of his cheek. “I’m looking, I can’t…” he pauses and frowns, his brow creasing. “I want to try something new,” he says suddenly and Yoongi damn near chokes on his own tongue when Jeongguk continues, “What do you like, hyung?”

He says it so innocently, like they’re talking about fucking ice cream flavors or something. Yoongi needs a minute to get his breath back, but Jeongguk is looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. Yoongi has to bite his tongue so hard to stop himself from saying You, he’s pretty sure he makes it bleed.

Instead, he clears his throat, then clears it again. “Uh, well,” he begins. “I like…have you ever seen…a blowjob video?”

Jeongguk’s eyes widen a little and then his frown deepens. “I mean, I guess,” he says, scratching at the back of his neck and Yoongi scrabbles at the thought desperately.

“Have you seen one in the first person?” he asks, aiming to direct the attention away from himself. “Like, a point of view blow job? So you can imagine it’s you that the girl is sucking off.”

Jeongguk hums. “No…” he admits and Yoongi is already typing it into the search engine, picking the first thing he sees with a girl down on her knees.

The video starts typically; the girl is staring up at the camera from her place on the floor with large eyes, tongue licking at her plump lips as she asks if Oppa wants me to suck him off. Besides him, Jeongguk sucks in a sharp breath and Yoongi knows he’s got him. 

The girl on the screen takes the male actor’s dick in her hand; a big meaty thing that makes Yoongi’s insides clench as he pictures it inside him, and she starts to slowly jerk it off. Yoongi can make out the slick slap of lube she’d no doubt covered her palm with in order to make the slide easier. She speaks again in that high-pitched baby voice, Oh, is Oppa getting hard for me?

“Fuck…” Jeongguk mumbles and Yoongi spares him a glance. The younger boy’s eyes are fixed on the screen, tongue prodding at his own lower lip. He doesn’t even seem to be aware that he is doing it.

The woman on the screen moans softly and Yoongi’s eyes snap back to the laptop. The actress has taken the head of the penis into her mouth and is licking it like a lollypop. When she pulls more of it into her mouth and starts to suck, the microphone picks up on the lewd wet sucking sounds. It reminds Yoongi a bit of when Seokjin vacuums the carpet.

The woman is giving more dirty talk than not, a fist still locked around the dick in her hand as she blinks up at the camera shyly. She can’t actually deep-throat around the monster cock in her hand (neither could Yoongi, as he actually values his voice), so she licks around the head every so often and occasionally puts half of it in her mouth. 

As blowjobs go, Yoongi thinks it’s pretty terrible but the effect that it’s having on Jeongguk is worth it. Jeongguk is practically sweating, temple beading and mouth puffy and wet. He looks like he’s been giving the damn blowjob, and Yoongi is so weak. He’s already sliding his hand under the blanket to fist lazily around his cock, which is just starting to chub up from the lack of stimulation. He doesn’t touch himself, so much as just holds himself. It’s comforting, arousing without being overwhelming, and he watches the screen whilst slowly rubbing at his inner thigh.

Truthfully, he hasn’t fingered himself in a good while, and he's craving something inside him.

The thought has him moaning softly, and Jeongguk’s head whips around to look at him. He swallows audibly and his gaze flicks down to Yoongi’s hands, still buried under the blankets. Unfortunately, this means that Jeongguk misses the money shot of the video; the male actor comes all over the woman’s face, where her mouth is open wide, tongue protruding, and positively drenches her in spunk.

Just as quickly as he’d looked at him, Jeongguk’s eyes go back to the screen. “Fuck…” he repeats breathlessly.

“Did you like it?” Yoongi asks, and he’s not far gone enough to feel a little bit smug at how visibly turned on Jeongguk is.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk swallows and his eyes dart nervously. “Can we…watch another one?”

“Sure,” Yoongi says. He doesn’t miss the way that the blanket slides down when Jeongguk leans forwards to fiddle with the computer. Yep, just as he suspected; the kid is as hard as a fucking rock.

They spend the next twenty minutes or so watching porn together, various videos of pretty girls giving blowjobs from all different kinds of perspectives and angles. Yoongi is so hard that he’s wet, and he’s surprised Jeongguk hasn’t come yet. Then he wonders if the other boy is trying to match with him, and he has to squeeze himself at the thought in order to keep his orgasm at bay.

Just one more video, he promises himself as Jeongguk scrolls through Yoongi’s recommended section. Yoongi fists himself lazily but even that causes too much stimulation. “I won’t last much longer,” he admits and Jeongguk hums, licking his lower lip.

“I don’t want you to,” he replies, clicking the video he’s found and settling back, hand automatically slipping back into his boxers, knees spread wide under the blanket. His knee is so close to touching Yoongi’s own, and the thought is dizzying; so much so that Yoongi doesn’t realise what video they’re watching until it’s too late.

“What the fuck…?” he hears Jeongguk say, and he blearily blinks at the screen. Then he abruptly chokes, ripping his hand so fast out of his own boxers that it physically hurts.

On the screen, a woman is knelt at the end of a bed, between the legs of a man with her mouth sucking away on his dick. This would all be fine, if it weren’t for the other man who was kneeling on the bed, his mouth sucking away at the first man’s own, making out like their lives depended on it. If that wasn’t the icing on the metaphorical cake, blowjob man has just slid his hand down to the other guy’s bare crotch and has started wanking his dick furiously.

“Hyung, what the hell?” Jeongguk asks from beside him, that glassy look he had in his eyes earlier gone. Yoongi thinks he might be sick.

“I-I…” He stammers. The video cuts away to another scene; this time the woman is sitting on the bed with one of the men’s head's between her legs. The man is on all fours and he’s gasping and moaning into her pussy as the other man fingers his asshole, three fingers deep. “Oh fuck…” Yoongi curses miserably. He buries his head in his hands, not caring about the fact that they were just down his pants, not caring about anything other than oh god, oh god, oh god, he wasn’t supposed to know, no one is supposed to know.

He hears the sound of the laptop closing, cutting of the shitty dialogue of “Oh yeah, so tight around my fing-” and there is an awkward silence.

“…Hyung?” a little voice says from beside him. Yoongi takes a deep shuddering breath. He’s not going to fucking cry, he’s not that pathetic, fuck, fuck- “Hyung, is there…anything you need to tell me?” He feels a hand on his shoulder. When did Jeongguk’s hands get so big? When did Jeongguk get so big, it seems like only yesterday that Yoongi was taller than him. “Hyung, can you look at me? Please?”

He doesn’t sound angry. He doesn’t even sound surprised. He sounds…pitying, and that’s worse. That’s so much worse, and it’s makes Yoongi flush in irritation. “I’m not gay,” is the first thing he says, which, ok, maybe not the best choice of words, but he’s isn't and he doesn’t want Jeongguk to think he is. He just sometimes likes it up the ass, big fucking deal.

“I-Oh, right, um…” Jeongguk frowns. He pushes a fistful of sweaty hair out of his face and folds his hands in his lap. Yoongi wants to grab his hand, to squeeze it, to ground himself, he isn’t sure. He doesn’t, he just wraps his arms around himself. “Hyung, you’re shaking,” Jeongguk says softly and Yoongi growls, jumping to his feet and starting to pace.

“Look, I’m not gay,” he says firmly.

“Yeah, no, ok,” Jeongguk nods. He looks at Yoongi expectantly, and Yoongi feels himself getting even madder.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m…different, like I’m not normal.”

“I’m not looking at you like you’re not normal,” Jeongguk says calmly.

“You’re looking at me like you feel sorry for me, I fucking hate it.”

“I’m confused!” Jeongguk says. “You’ve got gay porn in your recommended section, what am I meant to think?”

“It’s not gay!” Yoongi yells and then claps a hand over his mouth. They both look around to see if anyone else has heard them, if their shouting has caused anyone to wake up. After a few moments, Yoongi deems it safe and continues in a lower hiss, “It’s not gay. It’s bisexual, I’m fucking bisexual, Kookie.”

“Ok, that’s fine-”

“I know it’s fine!” Yoongi’s not really listening at this point.

“I’m just trying to understand,” Jeongguk begins and then he swallows. “Look, clearly you’re upset. I’m just…going to go to bed, ok? I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

He gets up and wipes his hands on his boxers, gives Yoongi a weak smile and then leaves.

Yoongi stares after him, open mouthed, trying to process what’s just happened. He sinks down onto the sofa and covers his face with his hands.

Maybe he could have reacted to that a bit better.

He’d panicked, unhappy to be outed so suddenly. But Jeongguk’s reaction hadn’t been that of horror or disgust, but rather calm and collected- basically everything Yoongi hadn’t been. He’s a bit ashamed of himself for behaving like such a child; he’s supposed to be the hyung after all. A part of him wants to go and apologise, to track Jeongguk down and beg for his forgiveness.

If he’d been smarter, Yoongi could have lied and said that it was totally random having bisexual porn in his recommended section; that it had got there by mistake, like one of those if you enjoyed that, watch this kind of deals.

But no. Because all his brain could do was see dick and fingers and men and Jeongguk and it had short circuited.

Yoongi washes his hands, scrubbing with the soap till his milky skin is bright red. He curls up in his bed but can’t sleep, lying in fetal position and thinking. It would make sense that Jeongguk is ok with it; they have, after all, been masturbating together for months now. If that’s not a little bit gay, Yoongi isn’t sure what is.

Trying to sleep is futile, so he reaches for his phone and texts Jeongguk, knowing the boy won’t see it till the morning. He writes an entire paragraph, then deletes it, then re-writes it, then deletes it. In the end, he types I think I over reacted. Can we talk about it soon? Sorry I was a dick, then shoves his phone under his pillow and prays sleep will come soon.

All that, and he didn’t even get to come.

Fucking typical.

Chapter Text

"Ah…aah…"

"Crook your fingers more."

"I c-can't reach- oh fuck, hyung!"

A year ago, if someone had told Yoongi he'd one day find himself sat in a stiff-backed chair in a hotel room watching Jeongguk finger himself, he'd have laughed in their face, punched them in the jaw and demanded to know their source of information.

However, Yoongi is currently sat in a stiff-backed chair in a hotel room watching Jeongguk finger himself, so… Who'd have thought it.

The room is glowing a soft orange; the main light had been too harsh for his eyes and Yoongi had turned on the bed side lamps so he could read before Jeongguk had come in. The curtains are open, a neon city still active thrums outside the double-glazed windows.

Ordinarily Yoongi would be taking it all in, marveling at the city below him and the people who inhabited it. Usually he'd be taking the time to appreciate how they carried on with their own lives, in their own stories, with their own friends and family that he'd never know about; the only thing they have in common is that they exist in the world together.

As it stands, he is a little busy right now.

He hungrily drinks in the sight of sticky slick lube shining on the insides of Jeongguk's thighs; the wet sloppy sound when he shoves his fingers in and out; the smell of sweat and spunk in the air. It makes his mouth water and he leans forwards, resting his elbows on his knees and brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"H-hyung…" Jeongguk whines, hips hitching off the bed as he stabs at his prostate continuously.

"Are you close?"

"So-so close…" the younger boy sobs, "I'm gonna- please, can I-"

"You can touch yourself," Yoongi says, voice like gravel and Jeongguk keens, getting his left hand around his dick. His movements are jerky because it's not his dominant hand, but he's so highly strung and far gone, it only takes a few sloppy jerks and then he's coming, covering his abs and hips in thick jets of spunk.

Yoongi closes his eyes for a moment, listening to the soft animal whimpers fall from Jeongguk's lips as he shudders with over-sensitivity. He gets to his feet and straightens his clothes, closing the laptop that's playing random porn with a soft click.

He settles down on the edge of the bed and folds one knee over the other, shaking his head at Jeongguk. "Messy boy," he comments.

Jeongguk's eyes flutter open weakly and he gazes at Yoongi under heavy lids. "Hyung…" he moans weakly, hand outstretched and Yoongi spares a moment to think about how they got to this.

He has to cast his mind back; way, way back to a few months prior.

He hadn't slept the night he unintentionally came out to Jeongguk, only managing to pass out from sheer exhaustion at around four that morning. When he was awoken by Taehyung barging into his room three hours later, loudly blaring music from his phone in order to coax him out of bed, he'd known he was in for a rough day.

*

He'd actually been the last one out of bed this time. There was only one seat left, squashed up against the wall, and no way in hell was Yoongi climbing over anybody at that time in the morning. Instead, he just fixed Hoseok with a look that conveyed a slow painful death by Chinese burn, and the other boy gulped and moved up a seat.

Slumping down in his chair, Yoongi closed his eyes and listened to the sound of plates clinking softly. "Are you not hungry today?" Namjoon asked around a mouthful of bread. Yoongi's eyes opened dimly and he shrugged.

"You look terrible," Seokjin commented.

"Fuck off."

"You came in really late last night," the older boy continued, completely ignoring Yoongi's snappy reply. "You should go to bed earlier, it'll age you terribly if you keep not sleeping."

"Y'know, if you weren't my hyung, I'd have kicked your ass an age ago," Yoongi muttered tiredly. A mug of coffee nudged his plate. He looked up to see Jeongguk retracting his hand quickly to where he was sitting diagonal-opposite to Yoongi. Jeongguk gave him a shy smile and inclined his head at the cup. Yoongi wasn't feeling overly charitable but he sulkily took a sip when he thought no one was looking.

They were piled into the van to drive to the dance studio where they'd been rehearsing for the past couple of weeks. Yoongi sat next to Jimin with his head against the window. He was painfully aware of Jeongguk curled up in the back, swamped in an oversized hoodie, eyes shut in sleep behind his glasses and the pressure of his feet resting against the back of Yoongi's chair. The youngest boy hadn't spoken to him at all, but he hadn't sent Yoongi horrible menacing glares either, and it had Yoongi feelings anxious and confused. It was way too early in the morning for such feelings.

He sulked all through warm up and their choreography. They had an award show in a few weeks, where they'd be expected to perform their new single, and so the choreography had to be tight. Yoongi hated dancing at the best of times, and he really wasn't in the mood today.

For this particular routine, they had backup dancers to add extra stage presence and hype up the crowd. Yoongi had always tried to be hospitable and welcoming, but he felt like he might be sick at any moment, his stomach twisted in anxious knots, and he could barely talk to his own band mates, let alone any of the dancers.

The boys kept hovering; Taehyung tried to ask him if he was ok, and Yoongi just shrugged him off with a slow nod. He knew Namjoon was looking at him funny, but he'd hoped he wouldn't ask him about it.

Jeongguk had still made no move to approach him, instead sticking with the younger boys and Hobi. Yoongi sipped from his water bottle, dragging his tired eyes up and across the room.

That's when he saw him.

One of the dancers was looking at him. The intensity of his gaze took Yoongi by surprise and made him shiver, because normally the dancers minded their own business and stayed within their own little groups. This man was standing with some of his friends, but he wasn't talking to them; instead he was watching Yoongi intently.

The look in his eyes could only be described as hungry. Like he was eying Yoongi up like he was a meal he'd devour slowly, taking his sweet-ass time and enjoying the fuck out of it. Yoongi looked away, and then looked back a few seconds later. The man raised an eyebrow at him. Yoongi swallowed another gulp of water. It was impossible that the man could be looking at anyone else, because Yoongi was squashed into the corner on his own; the others had dealt with his foul moods for long enough to know to give him a wide birth.

The man was smiling at him now, the corner of his mouth tugging up in a soft grin and Yoongi hoped he wasn't blushing. He was a little taken aback by how blatantly the man was staring, because if Yoongi had noticed him, he was sure somebody else had.

He cast his eyes up one more time. The man was attractive, that much was certain. He was tall, taller than Yoongi (but who wasn't), with broad shoulders and a slim waist that was accentuated by the tight black muscle tee he was wearing. His hair was jet black and long, a slight wave above his eyebrow. He couldn't be much older than Jeongguk. Yoongi raised an eyebrow at him and the man's smirk deepened.

Their choreographer called time. "Take an hour, guys," he said, "Have some lunch, we'll pick it up again this afternoon."

Everyone disbanded, the BTS boys coming together. Yoongi grudgingly trooped over, dragging his feet as he went. "We have to get this choreography down, today," Namjoon was saying, in full-on leader mode. Yoongi shut down, staring at Seokjin's shoes opposite him. "That means we need everyone to be focused." Yoongi knew it was directed at him and he barely resisted the urge to scoff. Namjoon took a deep breath and then said, "This means that whatever is going on with people right now, needs to stop."

Say what you like about Namjoon; the man was appointed leader for a reason.

Yoongi headed for the door, patting down his pockets.

"Hyung!" Hoseok came after him. "Are you coming to eat?"

"I need to piss, I'll catch up with you in a bit."

Yoongi made his way down the corridor, following behind the dancers who turned right at the end of the hallway to go to the canteen. Yoongi glanced around to make sure no one was following him, and then turned left, pacing down the hallways till he got to a door that lead out to a smoking area. Flicking on the latch, Yoongi cast one last look over his shoulder and then stepped outside.

Smoking was strictly forbidden by management, but Yoongi was just on the side of pissed off that he was willing to break some of the rules. He always carried a packet of cigarettes around with him, though he rarely smoked them. He tended to do it more when he was drunk, or extremely, extremely, stressed.

He knew there was probably a security camera watching him at that very moment, as he placed the butt of the cigarette between his lips and cupped the other end of the fag so he could light it up without the wind blowing out the flame. He shoved his lighter back in his pocket and dragged gratefully on the cigarette, savouring the taste before someone from management inevitably came down and forced him to put it out.

Resting his head against the brick wall, he closed his eyes and exhaled smoke through his nose, running his free hand through his knotty hair in a lame attempt to tease out the tension in his scalp. He heard the door click open and he groaned under his breath. Busted.

"Smoking will kill you," a voice said, drifting closer to him.

"Just let me have this one thing," he sighed, rolling his head to the side and opening his eyes. "I'll even say please if you- Oh." The dancer from before grinned at him and Yoongi gulped.

"Saying please will make all the difference," the dancer smirked. "Might be enough for me not to tell your management that you're out here."

"What do you want?" Yoongi asked when he'd found his voice.

"To bum a smoke. And a chat, if you wouldn't mind." Yoongi eyed him up, raking his eyes down the man's form. The man seemed to see him doing it and he cocked a hip. "I don't have all day, handsome."

"I think you mean hyung."

"Sure, whatever works." Yoongi tossed him his cigarette packet, which the man caught deftly with one hand. "Thanks, hyung." He grinned and Yoongi rolled his eyes, putting his cigarettes away. The two men smoked in silence. "So, I might have lied before," the man said when Yoongi was crushing his finished cigarette under the heal of his shoe.

"Oh?"

"I didn't come out here to talk."

"Yeah, I'm not big on talking."

"I'll cut a long story short." The man finished his own cigarette and flicked it at the opposite wall. "I wanna mess around, you in?"

Yoongi picked a nail. "Who says I'm into that sort of thing?" he asked nonchalantly.

"You did. Well, your eyes did. Come on, hyung. Don't you want to fuck me?" the man asked. He played with the hem of his shirt, flashing Yoongi a set of rock hard abs and Yoongi gulped.

"I'm not interested," he said. God, when did he get to be such a bad liar?

"Go on, you know I'd be good." Seeing Yoongi's resolve hardening, the man tried a different approach. "You're stressed out, right? There's nothing like an orgasm to relax you. I mean, we don't even have to fuck if…if you really don't want to."

Yoongi looked him over again. Up close, the man was even more attractive then he'd first initially thought. His eyes were big and brown, hair glossy and shoulders broad, the muscles of his arms thick and weighty. Yoongi imagined them holding him down and his thighs tensed in anticipation.

Fuck it.

"What did you have in mind?"

The man looked relieved; his ego restored now that Yoongi had said yes. They headed back into the building, the dancer in front and Yoongi behind; down windy corridors that looked identical if Yoongi hadn't spent years navigating them.

The dancer was peeping through the windows of each room till he found one he liked, and he opened the door, holding it open so that Yoongi could shuffle inside after him.

They were in one of dance studios that wasn't being used for practice. The man turned to him and for the first time since they'd made eye contact, he looked nervous. It sent a thrill shooting through Yoongi's spine as he seized the opportunity to be in control again. "You got a name?" he asked, prowling in front of the dancer.

"Taemin."

"Taemin." Yoongi tested out the syllables, advancing on the man. He placed one hand on Taemin's shoulder; it was hard with muscle and warm under his palm and he suppressed a shudder. Giving the other man a gentle shove, Yoongi pushed him back against one of the mirrored walls. "You gonna kiss me?"

Taemin didn't need to be told twice. His large hands slid around Yoongi's waist, one automatically dropping to his ass and squeezing. It ripped a moan out of Yoongi's throat and he nearly turned to putty right there in the man's arms. He kissed the other man, pulling his lower lip between his teeth and sucking, and all he could hear was the lewd squelch of their kisses filling the empty dance space.

Yoongi groaned softly as Taemin's other hand found its way to his butt, letting him fondle and caress his thighs. "Fuck…" he mumbled when Taemin wrenched his mouth away, pressing their foreheads together and starting a dirty grind of their hips. The stimulation had Yoongi's knees going weak.

"Thought you weren't into this kind of thing," Taemin smirked.

"Only on Tuesdays," Yoongi replied weakly.

"It's a weekend."

"Shut up and kiss me some more." Yoongi took charge, kissing him quiet, relishing the little whine that Taemin gave. Feeling emboldened, Yoongi's hands drifted down the man's firm chest, rubbing his pecs over the tight T-shirt before sliding under the fabric and touching the hard, warm muscle of his abdomen. "Fuck me, you're fit," Yoongi mumbled as Taemin's head ducked to the side and he begun to place wet kisses on along the pale expanse of Yoongi's throat.

He wasn't sure how long they stood there making out. Yoongi stopped Taemin when he tried to slip onto his knees for Yoongi. The dancer looked at him in confusion but Yoongi was already dropping to his own knees, undoing the drawstring of the man's sweat pants. "Hyung, are you sure?" Taemin asked, "I thought you wanted-"

"I want this." Yoongi pinched his thigh, encouraging Taemin to shift his hips away from the mirrored wall so Yoongi could get his pants and boxers down his legs. He dragged them to mid-thigh, moaning at the sight of Taemin's erection, wet and red and ripe for the picking. He leaned forwards, kissing up the meat of Taemin's thigh.

"But I thought-"

"Trust me. I want this. I'm good with my tongue." To prove his point, Yoongi leaned forwards and suckled the head of Taemin's cock into his mouth. The taste was sharp and bitter on his tongue and it had Yoongi's taste buds dripping saliva. He sucked frantically, not caring about taking his time because he wanted this. Taemin might be the one receiving a blowjob, but this is purely for Yoongi's enjoyment and pleasure.

He hadn't realized how much he'd wanted this, wanted a cock, but after months of jacking off to lesbian porn with Jeongguk, of having that beautiful boy so close yet so far away, he was eager to have a man any which way he could.

"Hyung, god…" The dancer fisted his hair and Yoongi sucked tighter, rubbing the underside with his tongue. He took Taemin's dick deep into his throat, swallowing, and his eyes fluttered at the fullness he felt. His throat was going to be fucked to shit after this; it'd be obvious that something had happened during his break, and the thought turned Yoongi on so much. "I'm gonna come…" Taemin moaned and Yoongi scrabbled at his thighs; he was so eager for this.

Taemin's hands wound in his hair and pulled hard as he came in Yoongi's mouth. Yoongi swallowed eagerly, throat working. When Taemin was done he pulled away, kissing up the man's thighs and stomach till he was on his feet. Taemin leaned down to kiss him, hands sliding down to Yoongi's ass again, though this time they went under the fabric, cradling the warm skin of his ass.

"I wish you could fuck me," Yoongi murmured against his mouth.

"Give me your number, we'll do it."

"I can't." Yoongi kissed him. "You know I can't."

"I wanna make you come."

Yoongi grabbed one of his hands and brought it round to his crotch. "So do it."

Taemin was jerking him off, lips attached to his neck and Yoongi was close to coming. "I'm gonna come-" he gasped, "Fuck, I'm gonna-"

"Yoongi-hyung!" a voice called from out in the corridor.

"Shit," Taemin mumbled as Yoongi came into his hand. He touched him through his orgasm, kissing him through the after-shocks as Yoongi's knees finally gave out. Taemin had to hold him up as he swayed. "I think someone's coming," he murmured, kissing Yoongi's sweaty temple.

"Fuck's sake…" Yoongi was tired; he wanted to sleep.

"Hyung, you around?"

"Wait here," Yoongi said, righting his appearance in the mirror. "Come out in a few minutes."

Taemin nodded, giving Yoongi's ass a smack when he turned to leave. Yoongi shuddered, blood burning, and then went to the door, turning off the lights to avoid suspicion. He shoved his hands in his pockets and started walking down the corridor back in the direction of the dance studio.

"Hyung!" He turned to find Jimin and Jeongguk coming towards him. Jimin bounded over, looking refreshed now that he'd been allowed to eat. Jeongguk followed behind, and he looked far more apprehensive. His hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie and he was chewing on his lower lip.

"We couldn't find you at lunch," Jimin was saying. "Jin-hyung saved you some but I don't know when you'll be able to eat it without it getting cold." He broke off suddenly, frowning at Yoongi. "Are you ok, hyung? You look a little sick."

Yoongi glanced at himself in the reflection of one of the windows. His alabaster cheeks were flushing pink, a noticeable change to his usual complexion, and his temple was sweaty. His lips were wet and plump with blood circulation, and his eyes glassy. He looked like he'd been thoroughly fucked, to put it bluntly.

"I'm fine," he shrugged. "I was just practicing. I want to get this dance right. I might have outdone myself a little."

Jeongguk was watching him with a calculating expression that said I smell bullshit. Yoongi folded his arms defensively, when someone cleared their throat. Yoongi looked up to see Taemin approaching them.

"Excuse me, can I just get by?" he asked, his face a blank mask. Nothing betrayed that he and Yoongi had had any contact together, other than the messy disarray of Taemin's curling hair.

The boys all squashed up and Taemin slid by them, putting a hand on Yoongi's waist in a show of squeezing past. Yoongi blushed, risking a glance at the other two boys. Jimin's expression was one of blank vacancy but Jeongguk was scowling, his face set like thunder and Yoongi gulped.

He knew.

Back in the dance studio, they resumed practice. Yoongi glanced at Taemin a few times, but the young dancer seemed to be focused entirely on his work. Good, that was how Yoongi had wanted it to be. He had no time for feelings and fangirling and groupies. Taemin had been right though; he felt infinitely more relaxed now that he'd got off, and he was able to keep pace with the other's far better than he had all day.

The same could not be said for Jeongguk. If Yoongi had been the weak link that morning, then Jeongguk was the liability of the afternoon. He was out of time, out of focus, and Yoongi could see their choreographer wanted to tear his hair out. Jeongguk was getting more and more frustrated with himself also, pushing the steps harder, teeth gritted and brow sweaty.

When the choreographer finally announced they were done for the day, Jeongguk was nearly in tears. He sat curled up in the back of the van with Taehyung's arm thrown around him, head buried in his knees and shoulders shaking. Yoongi could see Namjoon wanted to say something, and when they got back to the dorms, the two of them disappeared into their room without a word. Hoseok looked after them, brow creased. "You guys think there's something wrong with Jeongguk?"

"He seems really upset," Jimin said from where he was leaning against the doorway of the kitchen. Seokjin bopped him on the back of his head with his wooden spoon.

"I doubt he wants you housewives gossiping about him," he said firmly. "Namjoon is dealing with it; Jeongguk will tell us when he's ready. Jimin, help me with dinner."

"I'm going to the studio," Yoongi announced suddenly and Seokjin scowled at him.

"Not without dinner."

"I have to work."

"You have to eat, you missed lunch."

"Why didn't you come to lunch?" Taehyung asked, opening a bag of candy. Seokjin looked at him in exasperation.

"Dance practice," Yoongi lied, shouldering his bag. He took one of Taehyung's sweets for the road. "I'll be back late, don't wait up."

"At least take something with you." Seokjin snatched Taehyung's candy away and handed Yoongi the packet, ignoring Taehyung's spluttering protests. "There. You're getting too thin anyway."

Yoongi left the sweets by the door as he slipped on his facemask and stepped outside. It was cold out, the icy air causing his glasses to steam up when he'd keyed in the combination lock to his studio and had stepped into the warmth. He automatically put the heating on and sunk into his chair with a tired sigh, slipping on his neck pillow and turning on his sound desk.

Sitting at his computer, it was easy to drift away into his work and he sat for hours, playing around with the latest track he was working on, absent mindedly pressing the spots on his neck where Taemin's mouth had been attached a few hours prior.

He heard the door opening and didn't look away from his computer, safe in the knowledge that only few people knew the key code to get in. Namjoon exhaled heavily as he sat down beside him and put a container on the mixing desk. "Compliments from Jin-hyung," he said. The food smelled wonderful, but Yoongi didn't pull his eyes away from the screen. "Feel free to tell me to go away," Namjoon began.

"I'm listening…"

"Did something happen between you and Jeongguk?"

Yoongi's eye twitched. "He say something?"

"Not really. You've just been spending a lot of time together lately. Don't look at me like that, I share a room with him." Namjoon smiled softly. "You really think I hadn't noticed the little shit creeping out to wait up for you?"

"He wasn't-"

"Hey, I thought it was a good thing. It got him out of his shell a bit." Yoongi gulped. "What happened?"

Yoongi sat back in his chair and massaged his tired eyes. He wondered how much he should tell Namjoon. He doubted the leader would be overjoyed at the news that he had introduced their golden maknae to a whole new world of internet pornography. He imagined it would go down even worse if he mentioned that he and Jeongguk jerked off together to it. But Namjoon was staring at him with that no nonsense look of his, so he said, "Jeongguk…might have found something on my computer."

"…Go on."

Yoongi bit his lip. "Porn. …Man-on-man."

"The same way Seokjin-hyung did?" Yoongi nodded, not meeting his eye. "Fuck."

"Yeah…I'm guessing he isn't taking it so well."

"I don't know," Namjoon shrugged. "He wouldn't say. To be fair to the kid, he didn't say anything to me about it. All he said was that he thinks you're mad at him."

"I'm mad at myself," Yoongi said truthfully.

"Well, you seem to be taking it out on him. He thinks he's pissed you off. You wouldn't even look at him today."

"I-"

"Yoongi-hyung, please. We all saw it. I know that you like to be alone, so I won't stay too long, but…Jeongguk is still sensitive, y'know? He takes things harder than he should. Will you talk to him?" Yoongi nodded and Namjoon looked relieved, rising to his feet. "Ok, great. I'll say goodnight then," he said, wiping his hands on his jeans. He tapped the container filled to the brim with food. "You should eat that."

Yoongi grunted. He tried to stay at his studio for a while longer but he was struggling to concentrate now, racked with a guilty feeling that he was the cause of Jeongguk's earlier distress. He mulled it over as he munched his way through the dinner Namjoon had brought him, but the food felt heavy and tasted like sand in his mouth.

Finally, at around half one in the morning, he picked up his bag and headed back to the dorm. On his walk back, he decided he'd find Jeongguk and talk to him immediately; he'd take whatever the boy had to say to him, would listen to him and answer any questions he had. He'd tell the truth. There was a time for being an adult and it was now.

Truthfully, Yoongi was a bit ashamed of how he'd behaved that day. He'd been stupid and reckless, compromising himself, his relationship with Jeongguk and that of his bandmates all in the name of childish rebellion. When did Min Yoongi become such a bitch, he thought to himself, unlocking the door.

A lump on the couch snorted when he shut the door behind him. "Hyung?" a voice croaked and Yoongi nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Jeongguk, what are you doing out here?" he asked.

Jeongguk struggled to sit up where he was cocooned in his blanket. He wriggled around, trying to get his legs free before giving up, licking his dry upper lip with the tip of his tongue. "I wanted to talk to you. Joon-hyung said he went to see you and that you'd be home soon, I thought it would be a good time to talk…" he said, his voice cracked with sleep.

Yoongi advanced towards the couch. "You spoke to Joon?"

"I- I didn't tell him anything. About…you know," Jeongguk mumbled, his voice small.

"Namjoon knows."

Jeongguk's eyes widened. "Really?" he asked and Yoongi nodded.

"He and Seokjin-hyung…and now you."

Jeongguk blushed. "Hyung, I really didn't mean to upset you," he said suddenly, voice wobbling with emotion. Yoongi took a seat beside him.

"I thought I might have upset you," he said, his hand resting beside Jeongguk's.

"…You did." Yoongi didn't miss the hint of venom in the boy's response. "Not because you're bi though. You…you didn't talk to me. You said you wanted to and you didn't."

"You didn't reply to my text," Yoongi pointed out weakly and Jeongguk snorted. "

I don't reply to anybody's texts," he retorted. "And we live together. I thought you'd at least talk to me this morning at breakfast."

Yoongi grabbed his hand. Jeongguk sucked in a breath but didn't pull away. "I'll talk now," Yoongi promised, "Anything you want me to say, anything you want to say to me. I'll be truthful."

"I just don't want you to think that I think any less of you," Jeongguk sighed. "I think you're amazing, hyung, you've been so good to me. I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me things because you're scared of my reaction."

"It's been…difficult," Yoongi admitted. He played with Jeongguk's fingers absentmindedly.

"Will you tell the others?" Jeongguk asked.

"Yes. Maybe…I don't know…"

"Well, I'll stand by you," Jeongguk said, a look of fierce determination darkening his brow. Its impact was lost by the hair feathers that were sticking up on the back of his head. Yoongi smoothed them down carefully.

"You should sleep."

"Stay with me here for a while?" Jeongguk asked. He shuffled up the couch, beckoning to Yoongi.

"You…still want to?"

"Why not?" Jeongguk chuckled. "It's not like you fancy me."

Yoongi laughed a little too loudly. "Fair enough," he wheezed, hoping he didn't look as flustered as he felt. He clabbered under the blanket besides Jeongguk, prodding him with his socked feet. Jeongguk snuggled in next to him, head pillowed on his shoulder.

"Hey hyung?" Yoongi hummed. "I don't want to over step the mark, but, like…if I ever wanted to ask you something about you being bi, would that be ok?"

Yoongi nodded. "As long as you're mindful of where we are, who we're with and you're respectful."

"Of course, of course, um…" He could feel Jeongguk wanted to say something else.

"What is it?"

"Did…did you go off with that dancer today?"

Yoongi swallowed, his heart in his mouth. "Yeah," he said shortly, waiting to see if Jeongguk had anything else to say.

"Hhmm…ok," the younger boy shrugged, and Yoongi knew he'd answered wrong.

"…Jeongguk," Yoongi began, but the other boy was already wriggling around, eyes closing.

"Sleep now, hyung, I'm tired."

Yoongi frowned but held his tongue. Though he could still feel a certain air of tension surrounding them, he was glad that they'd spoken. When Jeongguk dropped into that deep slumber that he went into, the kind where he could roll off the couch and still sleep through it, Yoongi risked a gentle pet to his hair and listened to the boy breathing. He knew their relationship had changed; the extent of which he did not yet know. For the time being, he decided to take each day as it came, and vowed he'd be as open and honest with Jeongguk as he could be.

*

Open and honest might have been a mistake, Yoongi was starting to think.

The next morning, he awoke to someone gently shaking him awake. Jeongguk was still asleep, dead to the world on his chest, and Seokjin was bending over them, coaxing Yoongi awake. "What's happening?" Yoongi asked, tongue thick.

"Hey, everything ok?" Seokjin inclined his head towards Jeongguk's sleeping form. Yoongi wiped frantically at the drool on the side of his mouth.

"Yeah," he whispered, "Yeah, I think we're cool."

"Namjoon told me what happened."

"Had a good little mother's meeting, did you?" Yoongi sneered weakly and Seokjin huffed.

"I'm starting to think you don't clear your search history on purpose," he said, turning and heading towards the kitchen to start making himself breakfast.

"I'm just trying to keep you on your toes." Yoongi yawned and stretched an arm out. He tried to get up and had to physically unwind Jeongguk from his barnacle like grip that he had around him. He stretched, cringing when he heard his muscles click and pop from being squashed up on the couch all night and he vowed he'd actually sleep in his bed for a while.

Whatever tension had affected he and Jeongguk was now done with, and it was proved in how well rehearsals went over the next couple of weeks. Everyone was on the same level again, working together as a unit once more and Yoongi couldn't be happier where they were at that point.

Except there was one little problem.

He was dying to get off. He and Jeongguk had not started watching porn together again since that night. And Yoongi got it, he really did, but he'd reached the stage where getting off by himself felt so disappointing it almost wasn't worth the effort. A one-time shag was out of the question as well, because Yoongi couldn't seem to shake the horrible feeling of guilt that followed him when he thought about it; like he was being unfaithful to Jeongguk or something, which was fucking ridiculous.

And Jeongguk had started having sex with girls.

Yoongi had noticed a disturbing decrease in the youngest boy's presence as their time for promoting the new single drew nearer, and he'd seen the way Jeongguk's eyes would widen comically whenever any of the female dancers came within five feet of him. He'd have to have been an idiot to not notice.

Yoongi slouched into the common room one evening after a nap, swamped in a hoodie that may have been his (or may have been Hobi's), to find only three of his bandmates lounging around on the sofas.

"Where is everyone?" he asked. Namjoon looked up from his book.

"I assume by everyone, you mean Jin-hyung, Jimin and Jeongguk-ah?" he asked.

"Don't get smart with me."

"Aw, he's still cranky from his nap," Taehyung giggled. He shrieked when Yoongi hurled a sock at him and pressed his face into Hoseok's shoulder, where the two were cuddled on the couch watching a film.

"They went out for drinks," Namjoon said, marking his page and setting his book aside. "You were invited, but I think Seokjin-hyung took one look at you and decided he valued his balls more than interrupting you mid-nap. I'd have gone, but someone needs to make sure that they," He looked very pointedly at Taehyung and Hoseok, "Don't burn the house down."

"I resent that," Hoseok mumbled around a mouthful of Taehyung's hair.

"I'm making dinner," Yoongi announced and Taehyung instantly perked up.

"I'll help," he beamed.

"You will not. I want Hobi, he's the most kitchen competent out of the three of you."

Hoseok groaned but heaved himself off the couch to assist Yoongi in the kitchen. Taehyung hung around, making unhelpful suggestions here and there, and eventually Namjoon also drifted in so Yoongi designated him chief pot stirrer.

"This is a lot of food here, hyung," Taehyung said doubtfully, peeping over Namjoon's shoulder.

"I'm saving some for the other's when they get back," Yoongi replied as he waited for the rice to soften. "You know what they get like."

What they got like was drunk.

Yoongi and Namjoon were the last one's up; Yoongi watching TV and Namjoon writing, when the door burst open and Seokjin and Jimin fell through it, clutching each other and singing loudly.

"Jesus…" Namjoon muttered, climbing to his feet as Seokjin wobbled over and threw his arm around his neck, planting a big sloppy kiss on the corner of his mouth. "Hyung, what?"

"We missed youuuu," Jimin sang from where he was sat on the floor. "It's ok, I had a drink for you. And you, and you, and you, and you and-"

"Fuck's sake," Yoongi grunted. He grabbed Jimin by his armpits and went to haul him to his feet when Jeongguk stumbled in. He was swaying a little, though at least he was upright. His hair was messy and his cheeks were flushed but Yoongi's eyes immediately tracked onto his neck, and the massive purple hickey that had made its home there.

In his shock Yoongi dropped Jimin, who cried out. "Hyung, what the hell?" he spluttered.

Hoseok came in, knuckling an eye sleepily. He sighed when he saw Yoongi, mouth agape and eyes agog at the sight of Jeongguk's disheveled state, and Namjoon who was still trying to fight of a kissy-faced Seokjin. "Come on, Jimin, let's go to bed," he said, grabbing the younger boy and petting his back soothingly as Jimin complained about his horrible hyung who'd dropped him on the floor.

"Jeongguk-" Namjoon called from somewhere in Seokjin's armpit but the younger boy barely heard him; he'd already drifted into the kitchen. Yoongi stumbled after him, unable to look away from Jeongguk's neck.

He found Jeongguk slumped over the kitchen counter, cheeks swollen and puffy with rice and bits of pork. Jeongguk perked up when he saw him, glassy eyes glittering. "Hyung, did you make this? It's so good." He'd barely finished his mouthful before he was stuffing another into his mouth.

Yoongi drifted over to lean against the other side of the counter. The hickey was even more prominent under the bright florescent kitchen lights; a collection of bruises the colour of berry juice molted together to create one large smear on the side of Jeongguk's throat. Yoongi's eyelid twitched.

"Hey," he said, calmer than he felt. "Did you have fun?" Jeongguk nodded, slow and dopey. "What did you do?"

"We just went for some drinks." Jeongguk swallowed his mouthful and licked his lips, red and wet. Yoongi tried not to track the motion. He failed miserably.

"Some?"

"Yeah." Jeongguk swayed suddenly, and Yoongi was reaching across the counter to steady him. Jeongguk giggled when he's regained his balance. "Well…maybe a lot," he sniggered.

Yoongi hummed. "Did you also fall over?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"That bruise on your neck." Yoongi played dumb. Jeongguk dramatically slapped a hand to his throat, like he'd forgotten the love bites were there. Then his eyes widened comically.

"No, hyung, I didn't fall. I met someone," he said, voice dropping to a stage whisper. Yoongi quirked an eyebrow, his blood pressure rising.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, this girl. Don't know what her name was. She was cute though. Had short hair and a tongue piercing…actually, she was kind of scary. She took me in the bathroom with her and sucked my dick."

Yoongi's fists clenched. "And your neck, apparently. You know we can't have marks."

Jeongguk waved his hand in a gesture of carelessness. In his drunken state his perception was off, so he looked like he was waving away a bug. "The noona's can cover it," he said.

"Did anyone see you?"

"No one, hyung, I'm not careless," he snorted. "Why are you so mad, I didn't ask you these many questions when you fucked that dancer."

"I didn't fuck him," Yoongi spluttered, "And I'd appreciate you not mentioning that again."

"Why not, you can tell me. I bet it was kind of hot." Jeongguk's mouth was running away from him; he didn't mean it, Yoongi knew, he was just drunk. He sighed.

"You need to get to bed."

"Are you going to come with me?"

"No, I'm not." Yoongi tucked Jeongguk's arm over his shoulder as they started to make the slow trip back towards the bedrooms. "Namjoon, let's swap!"

"I wouldn't mind if you did," Jeongguk said thoughtfully. "We can watch something if you like."

"We're not going to do that," Yoongi grunted. Jeongguk was a lot heavier than he looked, especially when he was drunk and effectively dead-weight.

"We can watch the gay stuff if you like, I don't mind."

"Namjoon!"

"Hyung!" Seokjin had wrestled Namjoon onto the sofa and was currently lying on top of him. Yoongi could see Namjoon's hands waving pathetically. "Thank god, I think Seokjin-hyung is going to pass out on me. I can't breathe."

"We'll do a trade, come on." Yoongi propped Jeongguk up against the couch and hauled Seokjin's heavy body of off Namjoon who gasped for breath like a dying fish.

"'s happening?" Seokjin asks dumbly, instantly wrapping his long arms around Yoongi when he needed something to cuddle.

"We're going to bed. Kookie, drink water. Goodnight guys," Yoongi said quickly, half dragging, half carrying Seokjin back to their room. He deposited Seokjin on the bed and went to lock the door.

Seokjin moaned happily, wriggling around on the bedsheets. "Oh, thank god, the room's stopped spinning. You're a lifesaver, Yoongi- Ah! Fuck, Jesus! What hell are you doing?" he shrieked when Yoongi leapt onto the bed and began to smack him hard.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You let Jeongguk get off with a woman? In public? What if someone had seen?" Yoongi spluttered.

"Oh my god, what are you worried about? He's young, it's perfectly normal. It's really not that bad if you think about it."

"Not that bad?" Yoongi blinked. "Not that bad?! He looks like a damn vampire saw him, thought 'he looks tasty' and has taken a massive bite out of his neck!"

"Christ, Yoongi, you jealous or something?" Seokjin snorted and then, when Yoongi stared at him, his eyes widened. "Oh my god."

"No."

"Oh my god, you are."

"Hyung, I swear to god-"

"Oh my god, Yoongi, do you…fancy Jeongguk?"

"Stop it. Right now." Yoongi shoved him and then peeled of his shoes, throwing the covers over him. "You stay there, shut up and go to sleep."

"Yoongi…" Seokjin murmured; his slurring had stopped, and he was looking horrifyingly sober.

"No, stop. I don't want a fucking pity party. Go to bed, now." Yoongi climbed into his own bed but he couldn't sleep because his heart was pounding with anxiety. He could only pray that Seokjin had drunk enough to forget that portion of the conversation.

As it turned out, Seokjin didn't remember any of that night, let alone their conversation. He, Jimin and Jeongguk were severely hungover the next day; though they were suffering, Yoongi still took great joy out of watching them get chewed out by management, purely as payback for making him and Namjoon babysit them the night before. He did notice the bosses taking Jeongguk to one side separately, no doubt discussing Neck-Gate. He couldn't hear the conversation that followed but Jeongguk's head was hanging in shame. When he came back over, tail tucked firmly between his legs, Taehyung grinned and praised him and Hoseok looked impressed which cheered him up immensely.

Yoongi, not so much.

And the worst part was that it kept on happening. Every time they had a night off, Jeongguk would go out with them or their friends, and he'd return home with more love bites, though these ones were more discreetly placed than the last. Each new edition had Yoongi's stomach twisting in jealous knots.

They had a week to see their families before they are heading out for promo and the awards season, so Yoongi spent a few days in Daegu. He caught up with his brother, sat and read with his father and helped his mother make kimchi. It was nice to shut his brain off for a bit and forget that he is Suga, one-seventh of BTS, one third of the rap-line. Producer, rapper, friend, brother, son. Bisexual.

The night before they were due to leave, he invited Taemin to his studio and the two of them fucked; as in, Yoongi got fingered and dicked so hard he was nearly crying. "Mark me up," Yoongi had growled, rules be damned and Taemin had done just that, leaving him with a necklace of beautiful bruises all around his throat.

It was so wonderful at the time, but it left him with an aching ass the next morning, which was shit when he had fourteen-hour flight to make that same day. Jimin whistled at the sight of his neck, Jeongguk's nostrils flared and Namjoon sighed in exasperation. "We're having a band meeting when we touch down about the no biting rule," he snapped, cranky from lack of sleep.

"Hyung!" Jeongguk called to him as they got ready to take their seats on the plane. Yoongi took one of his earbuds out.

"Yes, Jeongguk-ah?"

"I- You…" Jeongguk frowned. "How was your time off?"

"Oh, you know. Saw family, saw friends."

"Friends, huh?" Jeongguk's eyes zeroed in on his neck and Yoongi bristled in indignation.

"Yeah," he said coolly, "You'd know all about that, wouldn't you?" He got distracted then when Jimin dragged his arm so that he could rest his head on Yoongi's shoulder. He stuck his headphones back in and shut himself off, trying to ignore the awkward tension that radiated from the seat behind him where Jeongguk was sat, no doubt stewing.

The journey was smooth; they touched down, no problems, and launched straight into promotion. With the night of the impending performance drawing closer, they were more tight-knit than ever. There was no time for Jeongguk to sneak away and get laid, which gave Yoongi a sense of sadistic self-righteous pleasure. He finally felt like he could function around the other boy without fermenting in incurable jealousy and behaving like a total idiot.

Which of course is when Jeongguk throws him a massive curve ball.

They've played the show; it went off without a hitch, as shows are prone to doing, and they were lucky enough to win an award as well.

Yoongi is sat in his hotel room, a book open on his lap and a glass of expensive whiskey by his knee. Everyone else has gone out to celebrate, God knows they deserve it, but Yoongi didn't much see the point; they'd be surrounded by people talking a language he didn't understand, and he'd much rather not have to see Jeongguk dancing and grinding with other women, with the other boys if he'd drunk enough.

Yoongi is tired and he'd much rather sit in his hotel room, undisturbed, with a nice glass of whiskey to soothe his taste buds. He's reading a book Namjoon recommended and debating if he'll have time to have a wank/possibly finger himself in the bath before Taehyung gets back for the night when there is a pounding at the door.

Well, there goes that idea.

Assuming it's Taehyung having forgotten his key, Yoongi tosses his book onto the bed and downs his glass, padding over to the door with socked feet. He opens it, not looking up as he does so.

"I swear, if you've lost your key again-"

"Hi, hyung," Jeongguk smiles. He's drunk. Yoongi can see it in the red of his cheeks and the glassiness of his eyes.

"I thought you were Taehyung," he says.

"Are you disappointed that I'm not?" Yoongi's fingers clench on his hold of the door. Things have still been… off between him and Jeongguk, and he wants them desperately to be right but- "Can I come in?" Jeongguk asks.

Yoongi steps back after only a moment's hesitation and Jeongguk swaggers past him. Alcohol makes him more confident, allows him to slip into his own skin a little bit more. He sees Yoongi's empty glass on the side and laughs softly.

"What are you drinking?"

"'s just whiskey. You want some?"

"Mm," Jeongguk hums. Yoongi pours him a glass and then fixes another one for himself. Jeongguk has taken a seat, perched daintily at the end of Taehyung's bed. "Show went well."

"It did."

"You were good, hyung. Like, really good." When Yoongi looks at him, he sees Jeongguk's face is open and earnest. God, he's such a sweet boy, Yoongi thinks, I'm wrecking him.

"Thank you. You were great, as always." They drink in silence. "Did you…want anything in particular?"

Jeongguk rolls his almost empty glass between his palms. "I guess I just wanted to spend some time alone with you," he admits. "It feels like we haven't done that in a while."

Yoongi refills their glasses. "You're right," he sighs, "As usual. I've been a bad hyung to you these past few months."

"I haven't been helping myself," Jeongguk replies. He swallows whiskey and Yoongi watches the dip of his throat. "I miss you," the younger boy says suddenly. "I'm a bit drunk, so I'm not phrasing things right, but I've really missed you, hyung."

"I…I've missed you too."

"The dancer…?" Jeongguk pauses like he's waiting for Yoongi to flip out and start throwing shit. When Yoongi says nothing, he continues. "Is he…are you guys…?"

"We're not together," Yoongi answers to help him out, "If that's what you're asking."

"I…yeah, I was. I'm…glad."

"Glad?"

"Yeah." Jeongguk shudders. "I don't like his face. He's too…pretty."

Yoongi actually laughs at that. "That's rather hypocritical coming from you, don't you think?" he asks and then realizes what he's said. Jeongguk just quirks an eyebrow.

"You saying I'm pretty, hyung?"

"No! I mean…I'm a bit drunk too," Yoongi admits and they both start laughing. Yoongi thinks his might be nervous laughter. "What about you?" Yoongi asks.

"Do I think you're pretty?"

"Stop!" Yoongi pats the bed beside him and Jeongguk comes over, stretching out on his back and supporting himself on his elbows. "You think I didn't see all those love bites?"

"Oh…" Jeongguk blushes. "Those. I guess I was just…experimenting with some stuff." Yoongi nods, and he pushes some hair out of Jeongguk's eye. When Jeongguk hums contentedly, he just carries on petting his head. He can see the curl of Jeongguk's pretty eyelashes from this angle, and he's missed this closeness. "Hyung…"

"Mm?"

"Those girls…um…they weren't the only thing I've been experimenting with."

"Oh?" Yoongi's hand momentarily pauses in his stroking before he continues.

"Yeah. I've, uh…I've been watching some stuff lately. Some….m-men."

Yoongi's hand actually does stop this time and he leans back. Jeongguk's mouth is twitching, his hands clenching in the bedsheets. "Really?" Yoongi asks.

"Yeah. Ever since I saw it on your computer that time; I, uh, got curious."

"Have you done anything?" Yoongi demands, irritated by the thought of someone, another man, touching Jeongguk. Jeongguk shakes his head violently.

"No, no. I've just been watching videos," he says quickly. "But I wanted to ask you about it, cos, y'know…you're into all that…butt stuff."

Yoongi can't help but giggle at the phrasing. "That's very true," he says. "What did you want to know?"

"What does it feel like?" Jeongguk blurts out.

"What? Having sex with a man?"

"Having anything…up there."

Oh. "Um, well." Yoongi thinks. "It can be a bit weird at first. Like, it may feel a bit uncomfortable, and kinda dry so you have to use lots of lube. But if you can find your prostate, it's amazing."

"My what?"

"It's like your G-spot." Yoongi frowns. "Seriously, you've never tried putting anything up there? Not even a finger?"

"No!" Jeongguk blushes and rolls over, burying his face in Yoongi's neck. "I'd…I'd like to," he whispers, breath brushing hot on Yoongi's neck and it has Yoongi shivering, the hair on his arms standing on end.

"You would…?"

Jeongguk nods, and suddenly he's pressing his face closer, lips moving against Yoongi's earlobe. "I was hoping you'd help me," he mumbles, "Like how you helped me before."

"You- you want me to tell you?"

"Mm, you're so good with me, hyung," Jeongguk hums. Then he's sitting up, leaning over Yoongi and gazing down at him, pupils big and black and oh-so-beautiful. "Would you tell me what to do?"

"Y-yes…"

"Mm…now?" Jeongguk asks. It's his turn to stroke Yoongi's hair out of the way and Yoongi melts at the touch.

"W-what about if Taehyung comes back?"

"Taehyung-hyung was challenging Hoseok-hyung to a dance off when I left. He's going to be a while. Come on, hyung, please. Please?"

Yoongi groans softly. It's this, he realizes, it's always been this. He's been craving this, the closeness, the intimacy and without it his skin has felt like it's being stretched over his bones, like his mind is going to implode and burst.

"Fuck, yes, ok, ok." He sits up and pours himself another glass of whiskey, knocking it back in one go as Jeongguk sits up and removes his suit jacket, tossing it on the floor.

"Can we watch something?" he asks, "To get me in the mood."

Yoongi practically throws his laptop at the other boy as he goes to search in his bag for lube. His things are in the bathroom, and he pauses to look at himself in the mirror. He is flushing pink, eyes glassy and hair messy. "Fuck," he breathes.

He opens the bathroom door and his knees physically weaken at the sight of Jeongguk on the bed, pants unbuttoned and hands down his boxers, jerking himself off lazily. The moans coming from his laptop sound distinctly male, and Yoongi braves a glance at the screen; sure enough, there is a body shot of a man jerking off. "Fucking Christ, Jeongguk. Is this what you've been watching?"

"Uh-huh…" Jeongguk pants, hand moving slightly faster. "I liked watching them touch themselves."

"Jesus…" Yoongi feels a bit light headed, and he has to take a seat on the desk chair to compose himself. "What else did you like?"

"I liked hearing them moan, I liked w-watching them get wet. I liked watching them come, oh!"

"Stop," Yoongi says when Jeongguk's hips jerk and the boy lets out a quiet moan. Yoongi sits back in his chair, brushing his hair away from his sweaty temple. "You're- you're gonna have to take off your pants," he says, feeling awkward for asking. He suddenly worries that he's overstepped the line; in all the times they jerked off together, they never actually saw one another's bare cocks.

But Jeongguk is already whining, lifting his long legs and kicking down his pants and boxers, leaving him in only his formal shirt and socks. He places his feet on the bed and spreads his knees and Yoongi moans softly at the sight.

Jeongguk is almost completely hard, balls heavy and dick a bit wet with pre-cum. Yoongi's eyes slide lower and he licks his lips at the sight of Jeongguk's hole, pretty and pink and oh so bare. All the boys had been waxed pre-performance, so Jeongguk is practically hairless, skin no doubt soft and supple, and Yoongi kind-of-really wants to taste him. He's never going to need to watch porn ever again, he thinks, as the image of Jeongguk with his legs spread and his dick hard will be more than enough to satisfy his masturbatory needs for years to come.

It should be weird. It should be weird, but it's not; instead, Yoongi feels like it's natural. Like their relationship has been building to this for a while, and this was just the next stage along. Plus, Jeongguk is gazing at him with large glassy eyes and a wet, wet mouth.

"That's so hot," Yoongi says, watching as Jeongguk unbuttons his shirt, nipples flushed and hard. Jeongguk moans, hands inching back to his dick.

"What do I do, hyung?" he begs, "Tell me what to do."

Yoongi didn't expect the thrill it would send through him, hearing Jeongguk say that. He clears his throat and then pours himself another drink. "First," he takes a sip, "I want you to come."

"B-but-"

"An orgasm will relax you, it'll make your body more pliant later on," Yoongi says and Jeongguk nods. "Use that lube there, get your hand wet."

"Yes, yeah, ok…" Jeongguk obeys immediately, fingers shaking as he squeezes a large dollop of lube into his palm. "'s cold," he whines.

"It'll warm up, baby." The baby slips out by mistake but Jeongguk responds to it so well, back arching and groan falling from his lips.

At the same time, he wraps his fist around himself and starts to jerk him off. "Talk to me, oh, Yoongi, please-"

"Hyung," Yoongi says gruffly, "I'm your hyung."

"God, fuck, hyung-!"

"I bet that feels good," Yoongi muses, swirling the amber whiskey in his glass. He reaches down and squeezes himself to relieve some of the pressure building in his groin. "Jerking that pretty cock of yours, making a mess all over yourself. All over my bed. Do you like being messy on hyung's bed?"

"Yes-"

"How hard are you going to come?" Yoongi asks. "As hard as you did with all those girls? Cos, trust me, however hard you came with them; it's going to be nothing once you've had your prostate stimulated. You're gonna want something up your ass every time you have sex. A finger, a toy. A dick?" Jeongguk moans, his hand speeding up. "Fuck, do you want a dick up there?" Yoongi breathes, "You want a big dick up your ass, making you feel all good on the inside? I bet you do, you love it, you fucking dirty little-"

He breaks off when Jeongguk arcs of the bed, coming all over his belly with a series of keening moans. "Fuck, baby…" he sighs at the sight. Jeongguk moans softly, shuddering with oversensitivity as he squirms under Yoongi's gaze.

"C-can I have some of that?" he asks, gesturing to the whiskey bottle. Yoongi hands it to him and Jeongguk takes several large swallows, some of the alcohol dribbling out of his mouth and down onto his throat. Yoongi gulps.

"You good?" he asks nervously and Jeongguk laughs weakly, head thumping against the mattress.

"So good," he smiles lazily.

"You want to carry on?"

"Yeah…Just, gimme two minutes." Jeongguk runs a hand through his sweaty hair and closes his eyes, trying to regain his breath. Whilst he is doing so, Yoongi takes the opportunity to remove his own suit jacket and undo the top three buttons of his shirt. The room has become unbearably warm all of a sudden, the smell of sweat and cum heavy in the air; it's so thick that Yoongi can taste it, can feel it coating his tongue like a sticky salty sauce.

He takes a seat back in his chair at the edge of the bed, where Jeongguk has shifted up to the headboard and is lazily stroking himself again. He's on a roll, wincing with oversensitivity on every upstroke.

"Don't hurt yourself," Yoongi says and Jeongguk moans softly.

"Not, feels good," he pants, "C'mon, hyung, I wanna do it. Tell me what to do."

Yoongi swallows. "It would be easier on your front," he says and Jeongguk groans, rolling over so that he is on all fours, shuffling his knees up under his body and supporting himself on one of his elbows. He cranes his head around to look at Yoongi, who feels like his tongue has doubled to being two sizes too big for his mouth. Yoongi's eyes run up the thick expanse of Jeongguk's thighs, over the tanned firm muscle to the soft swell of his ass and the small strip of skin between it, currently marked as unknown territory. What Yoongi wouldn't give to have his face buried in there…

"Hyung…" Jeongguk sounds desperate.

He clears his throat, wiping his sweaty palms against his pants. "Get the lube."

Jeongguk does so, sitting up on his knees. His dress shirt slides down, finishing just above the top of his thighs and the picture he paints is pure sin. Yoongi's going to hell, he knows he is. When Jeongguk's got his fingers wet, he drops back onto all fours, already reaching back.

"Slow, slowly!" Yoongi insists, worried he'll hurt himself as Jeongguk rubs his fingers up and over his hole. "You need more, here-" Reaching forwards, Yoongi uncaps the lube and squirts a large blob of it down Jeongguk's crack, relishing the other boy's moan. "There, now. Spread it around a bit. That's it, gently, don't hurt yourself." Yoongi takes his seat again, watching carefully as Jeongguk touches his own thighs, whining pitifully. "Now, when you're ready, push one finger in, just a bit."

"Oh-oh…Hyung…"

Yoongi makes soothing noises, watching as Jeongguk slowly pushes his finger in, watching the steady rock of his hand when he begins to move his finger. "Gently, Jeongguk-ah," he breathes, "Gently."

He watches for a few minutes, greedily drinking in the sounds of Jeongguk whimpering, in a state of arousal and amusement as Jeongguk's face screws up slightly, how the younger boy bit at his lower lip. "Hyung…It feels…weird…" Jeongguk pants.

"Good or bad?"

"I don't know yet."

"Keep going a bit longer. Move a bit faster is you want to."

Jeongguk sinks further onto his elbow, back arching as he fucks his finger in faster. "Y-yoongi…"

"How's that feeling, baby boy?"

"Yoongi, please- ah!"

"Answer me."

"Good, it feel's good!" Jeongguk sobs out. "You ready to try two fingers?" Jeongguk nods against the pillow, mouth hanging open. There's a wet spot of saliva forming on the fabric where Jeongguk keeps drooling that Yoongi will have to deal with later, but right now he is too preoccupied with squeezing more lube down Jeongguk's crack. "Good boy," he breathes and Jeongguk cries out, instantly shoving two fingers back into himself. "Gently," Yoongi insists, placing a hand on Jeongguk's sweaty back and the boy keens, shoving his face into the pillow and reaching back with his another hand to help spread his ass cheeks but his hand does move slower again, allowing him to get used to the stretch and burn.

Yoongi resumes his seat and starts to touch himself over his clothes, trying to ease the painful ache of arousal as he watches Jeongguk finger himself. It's a pretty sight to be held. The soft skin around his hole has reddened from stimulation; the tightness of it is reflected in the way that his hole seems to suck Jeongguk's fingers in. It's beautiful.

Yoongi is debating as to whether or not he should start jerking himself off properly, when Jeongguk suddenly chokes, drooling all over his pillow. "Wh-what…?" he gasps.

"Relax, baby, you touched your prostate," Yoongi says calmly and Jeongguk groans, fingers fucking into himself with abandon now.

"W-wanna do it again," he whines.

"Patiently, take your time."

"Hyung, hyung, I want to come," Jeongguk moans, "Don't wanna be patient, I wanna come, please."

"Don't be a brat." Yoongi leans forwards. He can smell how aroused Jeongguk is, and it's doing crazy things to his own senses. "Show me how much you want to come," he says softly.

Whimpering, Jeongguk removes his fingers and rolls over onto his back. He looks debauched. His hair is a mess of sweaty strands, beads dripping down his forehead and sloping down his nose, collecting in drops above his blushing wet lips. His throat and chest are red from exertion and arousal, abs sweaty, shining with his earlier release and jerking with every sobbing breath. And his cock. Jesus Christ, his cock. Wet and red and hard against his belly, pre-cum dripping down the side and collecting at his pubic bone.

"You look fucking beautiful," Yoongi hisses and Jeongguk arcs at the praise, shoving his fingers in his mouth. Yoongi chokes at the sight of Jeongguk with three fingers in his mouth, sucking them in the obscenest way before his hand is returning back between his spread legs, one hitched up to his chest, and he's shoving all three fingers in. "Jeongguk, fuck."

"Please, I want to come so badly! Ah-ah…" Yoongi can see him seeking out his prostate and he leans forwards eagerly.

"Crook your fingers more."

"I c-can't reach- oh fuck, hyung! H-hyung…" He knows when Jeongguk finds it, because the boy melts against the bed sheets.

"Are you close?"

"So-so close…I'm gonna- please, can I-"

"You can touch yourself."

And they're back to where they started. Jeongguk comes all over his belly in thick ropes, almost in tears with how stimulated and sensitive he's feeling. When he's done, he curls up on the bed, trembling a little and Yoongi closes the laptop carefully.

"Messy boy."

"Hyung…" Jeongguk reaches out for him. "W-wanna see you…wanna watch you come."

Yoongi moans softly. "Fuck, Kookie…"

"Please. I was good, right?"

"You were, you were the best."

"So show me…I wanna see it."

Yoongi groans and slumps back in his chair, lifting his hips and shimmying of his pants. He takes himself in hand; doesn't need the lube, he's so wet already. "I'm so close," he warns, starting to stroke himself slowly, "Don't expect much of a show."

"Just want to see you feel good," Jeongguk mumbles and Yoongi groans at that. He thinks he might combust when Jeongguk sits up and eases of his shirt, using it to wipe down his belly. Then the younger boy is crawling to the edge of the bed, watching in fascination as Yoongi's hand works between his legs. "You have a nice cock, hyung," he says and Yoongi moans.

"Jeongguk-ah-"

"Would you let me see again? I'd like that very much. Is there anything else you'd like to teach me?"

"Y-yes…" Yoongi groans, "So much I wanna show you…could make you feel so good."

"I want that," Jeongguk says, and he reaches forward, placing a large hand on Yoongi's knee. "I'd like to see you come as well."

"Oh." Yoongi's head drops back and his eyes slide shut as he does just that; comes all over his hand and a bit on his shirt. He vaguely registers Jeongguk stroking his knee when he comes too, and he huffs. "Fuck."

"Tell me about it." Jeongguk sits up then winces. "Ow."

"What's wrong?"

"My ass hurts."

"I'm not surprised, it was only your first time. You were eager," Yoongi says and Jeongguk blushes, reverting back into that shy state of mind now that he's come. Yoongi wipes himself off with a tissue and rises to his feet, tucking himself back into his pants. He knows when to go into full hyung mode, and now is the time. "Come on, I'm running you a bath."

"But, Taehyung-"

"Will be gone for another couple of hours, you said so yourself. It's fine, come on." Yoongi runs a bath and tests the temperature. He turns to find Jeongguk pressed against the wall, naked and covering himself awkwardly with his clothes. It almost makes Yoongi laugh, considering what he'd just seen Jeongguk do, but instead he helps Jeongguk climb into the bath on unsteady legs and leaves him to clean up with a squeeze to his shoulder.

"I'll find you some clothes," he says.

Back in the hotel room, he tries to clean up as best he can. His pillow and duvet are fucked, so he flips them, and preys Taehyung will be drunk enough to not question the suspicious smell of spunk when he gets back.

Their clothes are a different story. Yoongi piles them into a wash bag to give to one of the makeup noona's later on and hides his lube at the bottom of his bag. He's changed into comfy sweat pants and a hoodie when Jeongguk appears again, wrapped in a towel, playing with his fingers unconsciously.

"Here." Yoongi hands him some clothes. "They might be a bit small, but they'll do for now."

Jeongguk takes the offered T-shirt and sweatpants. The shirt is swampy on Yoongi, so it fits Jeongguk's larger, more muscular frame rather well. The sweatpants are a bit harder; they come up to his ankles and hug the curve of his ass. Yoongi tries not to think about that; they've had enough orgasms for one night.

"Jin-hyung has my hotel room key," Jeongguk mumbles as Yoongi potters around, making coffee to sober them up.

"Stay here for a bit."

Jeongguk looks at the bed. "Are you sure?"

"I've flipped the covers; just sleep over the blanket if you don't want to get spunk on you."

"Ew…" Jeongguk's smiling though.

They sit together and drink coffee, and then Yoongi pulls up a movie (a proper one) on his laptop. Jeongguk cuddles up beside him, eventually falling asleep with his head to Yoongi's chest, and Yoongi feels a tranquility settle over him; a kind of peace that he hasn't felt for a while. It's wonderful.

Until, of course, it's ruined by Taehyung bursting in at four in the morning, singing a song about tomatoes. Yoongi sighs as a sleepy Jeongguk jerks awake and stumbles back to his own room, mumbling goodnights as he goes, leaving Yoongi to listen to Taehyung dramatically retell him about how he slayed Hobi-hyung in a dance off of epic proportions.

It had been nice while it lasted.

Chapter Text

Despite his slight headache the next day, Yoongi had woken up never feeling better.

He'd stretched and gone to shower, ignoring the sight of Taehyung drooling on the next bed over before ordering a late breakfast to the hotel room. Taehyung had been roused from the deep recesses of sleep at the smell of food and had texted Jimin while Yoongi fed him pieces of dry toast. This had brought the arrival of Jimin and Namjoon to their room, closely followed by Hoseok and then finally Jin and Jeongguk.

Yoongi had nearly choked on his mouthful when Jeongguk came in, shirtless and sleepy, and he'd been worried that Jeongguk might be feeling regretful of what had happened. The younger boy had merely stifled a yawn and clambered onto the bed beside him, wrapping an arm around Yoongi's shoulders and reaching for the bacon.

Yoongi had sagged a little in relief.

They'd spent the rest of the day hanging out together in the hotel. Everyone's faces had been bloated and puffy from the previous night's partying and lack of sleep, and deeming them unfit to be seen by the public, the managers let them go and hang out in one of the hotel's private pools.

Yoongi stayed lounged at the side with his book and sunglasses firmly in place whilst he snuck glances of Jeongguk swimming and splashing with the other boys. If his throat got a little dry when Jeongguk lifted himself out of the pool to get a drink of water, hair dripping wet and soggy swimming trunks riding low on his hips; well, Yoongi was the only one who needed to know.

They stayed overseas for another two weeks, and they were some of the best that Yoongi could remember, both professionally and personally. Professionally, they'd blown up. It was like someone had taken all of Yoongi's dreams and whacked them up to eleven. They were so big that it scared him, because he never knew he could have so much power, so many people looking at him. It was difficult to comprehend that there were that many people in the world who cared about what he thought, how he looked, how he lived.

But it was ok, because on a personal level, he had his bandmates and they kept him grounded. It helped having six other people who knew him well enough by now to understand how his brain worked. To talk him down when the world felt like it was becoming a bit much; the noises were getting too loud. Whether it was Taehyung soothing him and assuring him that whatever was worrying him was going to be ok, Jimin cuddling up beside him when he needed skin-contact to calm down, or even Hoseok bringing him a hot drink to soothe his nerves, these guys had his back.

And Jeongguk? Jeongguk gave him so much, and Yoongi felt awful because he knew now for himself that it was not enough. He thought this when Jeongguk sat down beside him, dripping water everywhere and getting the pages of Yoongi's book wet, smelling like chlorine and smiling like the sun when Yoongi tutted at him and attacked him with a towel, laughter pealing through the air like the sound of ringing bells.

Why don't you love me enough? Yoongi had thought. Why do you love me like this and not like that?

Then he'd gotten pissed at himself for being so emotional and dramatic, and Hoseok had appeared with a cup of sweet tea not two minutes later. See, they really did know him well.

The day they're due to head back home, Yoongi is tired and achy. They'd had to be up early for their flight, and everyone looks pale and huddled against the cold early morning air. The sun is just barely breaking through the clouds, casting a grey mist over everything.

The airport itself is like a ghost town; Yoongi forgets how strange it looks when it's quiet. They and the team are in the waiting area, handing out polystyrene cups of hot drinks and buttery pastries to tide them over.

Yoongi digs into his one hungrily, savoring the taste of flaky pastry and chocolate. Hoseok is slurping his coffee noisily beside him, and Jeongguk sits at their feet. He's not eating; rather he is tearing his croissant to pieces, shredding it into little balls and glaring across the room. Yoongi follows his gaze and then smiles softly to himself. Leaning forwards, he pokes Jeongguk gently in the cheek, right where his scar sits.

"You're staring."

Jeongguk jerks like he's been burned, and he turns to Yoongi, his brow creased. "Huh?"

"You're staring." Yoongi inclines his head towards where Taemin is standing with his friends, looking extremely tired, waiting to go to a different terminal gate. Jeongguk shuffles beside him.

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm really not."

Taemin looks over and sees them. He gives Yoongi a small subtle nod and Jeongguk growls. Yoongi rolls his neck to smirk pointedly at the younger boy. "You really are," he says, and then their managers are telling them to get ready to board the plane. Their overseas promotions finished with for now, Yoongi is excited to be going back to South Korea for a few weeks. Whilst he loves travelling, he'll be glad to get home, back to the familiar comforts of his own things and not having to run everything via Namjoon first when speaking. English is hard.

Yoongi bends to pick up his bag but Jeongguk is already doing it for him, turning on his heel and stalking away with a haughty glare in Taemin's direction. Surprised and secretly pleased by Jeongguk's possessiveness, Yoongi shuffles behind him, both hands clutching his backpack for something to do.

"Where's your bag?" Namjoon asks as they approach the gate; he's in full-on Stressed Parent on a Trip with Rowdy Kids mode, and Yoongi points at Jeongguk.

"Jeongguk-ah," Taehyung whines; he's cranky and sulky from having to wake up early, "Why do you carry Yoongi-hyung's bag and not mine?"

"I like him more than you," Jeongguk says simply, totally straight faced and Taehyung snorts indignantly.

"Is this because I kicked you out of my room that time?"

"You didn't kick me out, I left at my own free will. Besides, think of this as payback for making Yoongi-hyung listen to your stupid drunken stories all night."

"You told him about that?" Taehyung demands.

"He told everyone about that," Seokjin points out.

"I still stand by what I said," Taehyung mutters firmly, "I beat Hobi-hyung in that dance battle, fair and square."

"Keep dreaming, kid," Yoongi says, giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

Jeongguk is asleep before they've even taken off. Yoongi peeps back through the gap in the chairs where Jeongguk is passed out with his head on Hoseok's shoulder and his chest gives a squeeze of affection.

He feels, over the past few weeks, that he and Jeongguk had grown even closer, if that was at all possible.

Of course, there's the obvious reason; namely, Yoongi has seen Jeongguk's dick, and Jeongguk has seen Yoongi's. And not a brief accidental flash in the shower, no. Yoongi's seen Jeongguk hard. Yoongi has seen Jeongguk coming all over the bedsheets, all over his hand, all over his stomach, and one, one beautiful time where Jeongguk stimulated his prostate so hard under Yoongi's watchful gaze that he came hard enough for it to reach his chest. Yoongi had wanted to take a picture; just lust-drunk enough that he was generally considering reaching for his phone.

It's a slow mentally painful kind of torture, he's realized. It's god's way of giving him a bum-deal; You may have fame and money and success, but you can't have this. I'll give you everything you've ever wanted in life, but you can't have him. I'll dangle him here, just out of reach.

And Yoongi does want Jeongguk. Fuck, but he wants him. He wants him when they're sitting feet apart, cocks in their fists and whines spilling from their lips. He wants him when Jeongguk is annoying the shit out of the older boys, forgetting honorifics and prodding them when they're trying to wind down. Wants him when he's soft and sleepy and warm in the sun, lips and cheeks flushed and eyes half-lidded.

But you can't have him.

Whilst waiting for their connecting flight, Jeongguk curls up across an airplane bench with his head pillowed on Yoongi's thigh. He's totally slack, muscles relaxed, chin tucked against his chest making the skin there bunch and Yoongi still wants him any which way he can.

The emotional soppiness of himself makes him sick.

He's in deep now. Despite his earlier reservations and trying so hard to ignore it, he cares for Jeongguk in a way that he hasn't cared for anyone for years; hasn't allowed himself to, hasn't been allowed to.

Grueling schedules, and more time spent in his studio than can be considered healthy, means that he can ignore the way his heart beats and his chest feels tight when he's in Jeongguk's presence, but in the few small quiet hours of the day where he's trapped alone with his own thoughts, the gravity of what's happening really plagues on Yoongi's mind.

He's only hurting himself in the long run, he knows, but like a junkie with an addiction, he can't seem to pull himself away.

He can't say no to Jeongguk. He's a slave to the boy's whims, no matter what they are. So when Jeongguk had crawled into his hotel bed one night and begged for Yoongi's voice to help him get off, Yoongi had done so. "I saw this video," Jeongguk had said, cuddled up against Yoongi's side in the dark of the room. He'd been so close, Yoongi had heard his heart beat, could feel the press of Jeongguk's jaw when he spoke with his head pillowed on Yoongi's chest. "This man, dirty talking, calling his girlfriend a slut and stuff…it really turned me on, hyung, hearing someone say such dirty things…"

"Why do you need me?" Yoongi had asked and Jeongguk had rubbed Yoongi's arm, fisting the cotton of his sleep-shirt.

"It's better when it's you," he'd said quietly, "It's better when it's real."

And god help him, but Yoongi couldn't say no. Not when Jeongguk was curled up beside him, warm and hard and everything Yoongi desired. So he degraded him and called him slut, whore, and thought about all the times Jeongguk had come back with love bites on him left by faceless strangers in the dark corner of clubs. "You're a whore when you let them fuck with you," Yoongi had growled, lying on the bed with Jeongguk stretched out beside him, the increasing shck shck shck noise as his dick got harder and wetter.

"Yes, yes-"

"Slut," Yoongi hissed and Jeongguk had arched, coming all over himself. The sight had Yoongi nearly winded, and he came embarrassingly quickly afterwards when he got himself off, Jeongguk watching greedily from beside him.

The memory makes Yoongi's belly squirm with arousal, and he shifts in his seat. Jimin, who's once again trying to drift off on his shoulder, looks up at him. "You ok?" he asks, voice cracking from exhaustion and jet lag.

"Yeah," Yoongi sighs, adjusting the blanket he has draped over his lap. "Take off always makes me uncomfortable."

It's bullshit but Jimin is too drowsy from lack of sleep to question him.

The flight has them cramped and sore, and when the plane lands and they're ushered to a nondescript black van they're like zombies. When Yoongi stumbles up the stairs and sees the familiar sight of his bed, he collapses onto it face first and doesn't even bother removing his shoes.

The sleep he falls into is blissfully deep and dark and everything he could ask for.

*

Sometimes, Yoongi forgets what it's like to not be comfortable with his sexuality.

Don't get him wrong, it's not been plain sailing. When he first discovered his interest in the masculine sex, as well as that of women, he'd spent many a sleepless night worrying about it and battling the increasing feelings of guilt that built up inside him. It left him feeling bitter and angry at the state of himself; a young furious youth with too much aggression and no real outlet. That manifested in music and in childish rebellion, both loving and hating himself in equal measures.

When he finally learned to not give a fuck about what people thought, and when the burden of his secret was relieved by telling someone, he grew able to accept himself a little bit more and was now embarking on his own personal journey of love and self-discovery. He accepts now that his bisexuality is as much a part of his makeup as his gender or race is and it's become the norm for him, because it is normal.

However, his acceptance with himself has made him occasionally forget how hard it could be to discover something about oneself that could change so much about them.

And this is what's happening to Jeongguk.

They'd all noticed the boy becoming gradually more withdrawn over the weeks, reverting back to the shy maknae they all remembered from the fetus days of BTS. When they were all together, Jeongguk shrunk into a corner and it was difficult to drag him out of his own head. He was quiet and subdued, often staring into space like he was half a world away. It was starting to get worrying, with the older boy's having to repeat what they said four, sometimes five times, all because Jeongguk wasn't paying attention.

To counter this, he couldn't be more engaged when it was he and Yoongi alone. It was like now that they'd crossed the invisible line between them, Jeongguk couldn't seem to help himself. Yoongi noted how the videos he was searching for when they were together were becoming slowly more intense; clips of spanking and power play and rough sex and marking up.

Honestly, Yoongi didn't care watch they watched. Unless it was illegal, Jeongguk could put on what he liked and Yoongi wouldn't bat an eyelid, because it was the act of watching Jeongguk that he enjoyed more.

However, he was aware that Jeongguk was in pain, be it mild or more, and he didn't like that. He'd planned on talking to him about it, when Namjoon takes his arm one day. "Hyung, can I have a word?"

Yoongi follows him to the laundry room and shuts the door behind them. No one can hear them over the sound of the washing machine running; Seokjin had been doing a white load, and Yoongi can make out one of Hoseok's bright red socks amid everyone's whites. He sighs internally and prepares himself for the inevitable salmon pink his clothing will return as.

"What's up?"

"I was hoping you'd have a word with Jeongguk," Namjoon says, chewing on his lower lip. He keeps playing with his hair, smoothing it out and then mussing it up again. It's a sign that he's nervous, and Yoongi is automatically on edge.

"What's wrong, is he ok?"

"He's fine. At least, I don't think he's in any trouble. I just think that he might be a bit…confused."

Yoongi swallows, not liking the implication behind that tone. "Oh?"

Namjoon nods. "Yeah, the other night, I woke up when he was…finishing." He gives Yoongi a pointed look who clicks his tongue to show he understands. "I think he thought I was still asleep, I wasn't exactly fully awake at that point. Anyway, he got up to use the bathroom and he left his laptop open."

"What did you see?" Yoongi asks. Namjoon's eyes mist over as he frowns, debating whether or not he should disclose this next bit of information to Yoongi. "You can tell me, I won't judge."

The washing machine beeps to alert them that it's ended its cycle.

"…Men," Namjoon says finally. "Which is totally fine, you know it's fine with me. But I think he might be questioning himself a little bit." No shit, Yoongi thinks. Namjoon carries on, oblivious. "I think that's why he's been so quiet lately," he says, "Well…Quieter than usual. But you know what it's like, more than I do. It might help him out a bit to know someone who's experienced that, if that's what he's struggling with."

"I'll talk to him," Yoongi promises and Namjoon looks relieved.

"Thanks, hyung. Just see if he says anything, and if he does, can you let him know that I'm here for him?"

Yoongi nods but then Seokjin is barging into the laundry room. He looks momentarily surprised to see them and then bustles past. "What are you two gossiping about?" he asks.

"You and how much of a mother hen you are," Yoongi replies, folding his arms.

"Ha-ha-bloody-ha," Seokjin mutters, "At least be useful and help me put this stuff in the dryer-" He opens the washing machine and splutters and the sight of their now pink laundry. "Who put a red sock in with the white wash?!"

*

Yoongi's opportunity comes (no pun intended) two days later. He's lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling when there's a quiet knock at the door. Everyone is busy this evening, so there's only one person it can be, and sure enough, Jeongguk pokes his head in. "Can I come in?" he asks.

Yoongi sits up, making space for him and Jeongguk creeps into the room, toeing off his shoes and clambering up onto the bed. He immediately lies down next to Yoongi, head resting on his chest as Yoongi winds his arms around him. Jeongguk smells strongly of shower gel and faintly of sweat. He's just come back from the gym, Yoongi knows, which is where Taehyung and Jimin are still. Hoseok is at the dance studio and Seokjin and Namjoon are out for dinner.

They're completely alone.

Jeongguk presses his face into Yoongi's shirt, sighing, and Yoongi can feel how tense he is. When Jeongguk breathes out shakily, Yoongi starts to pet his back soothingly.

"Talk to me, maknae."

Jeongguk hums into his chest, before lifting his head and fixing Yoongi with soft doe-brown eyes. "How did you know?" he asks, and Yoongi knows what he means immediately.

"You mean, aside from the obvious?" When Jeongguk nods, he pauses to think. "Well, I guess I was attracted to one of the other trainees to begin with. He liked me, he'd told me he had, and at first I thought it was a bit weird but he was persistent, you know? He never pressured me but he made me aware that he had feelings for me. And the more I thought about it." Yoongi shrugs. "The more I wanted to try it."

"What did you do?"

"We fooled around. Just like making out and stuff, all over the clothes."

"How old were you?"

"I was thirteen, fourteen," Yoongi replies. "It was good as a starting point but we didn't last. I wasn't as into him as I thought I'd been, and I was still wrestling with whether or not I was bisexual. When we stopped, I thought I was straight and wrote it off as an experiment. It was only when I started looking at another guy did I realise that I actually was attracted to men as well."

Jeongguk is worrying his lower lip between his teeth. "Did it help you?" he asks, "Trying it with another man?"

"I mean, it was good for seeing if I got turned on by it. I did." Yoongi flashes him a cheeky wink and a grin which Jeongguk returns before he goes back to his aggressive lip biting. "Do you…think you might like men?"

Jeongguk releases his teeth and then nods. "I'm scared," he admits and Yoongi melts, winding his arms around him and holding him close. Jeongguk sags against him; he's trembling. "I'm so scared, hyung; I have all these feelings and I don't know what to do with them. I was always taught- people always said-"

Yoongi cuts him off, smoothing his hair out of the way. "Hey," he says, "You are normal. You are you and you are perfect. You understand me?" Jeongguk nods violently. "You have nothing to be ashamed off. These feelings you have, they're ok, and I will always support you, whether you keep having them or not. Namjoon as well, if you want him to know." He doesn't mention that Namjoon already suspects. "We love you, Jeongguk. We all do, so much, and nothing you say could ever make us not."

Jeongguk sniffs. He rubs his nose aggressively a few times and then shifts up the bed a little, lowering his body weight further over Yoongi's, blinking heavily to lose the glassiness in his eyes. "Hyung," he says softly. Yoongi swallows, suddenly getting a hold of his tongue and realising how much he's said. He also becomes aware of how close they are, and how heavy the air around them is now. He feels unbearable warm all of a sudden, and he wonders if he's broken a sweat. Jeongguk licks his lips and puts a hand beside Yoongi's head to steady himself. "Hyung," he repeats.

"Jeongguk-ah?"

"This might be a really bad time, but can I kiss you?"

Yoongi's mouth opens. Then it closes. Then it opens again.

Then it closes.

"Y-you want to kiss me?" he asks slowly.

"W-we don't have to," Jeongguk stammers nervously, "You don't have to, I only thought- I only meant to say-" He breaks off abruptly, though he has yet to move away from Yoongi.

"Go ahead, speak," Yoongi coaxes gently. Jeongguk takes a deep breath and then gazes down at Yoongi.

"You said doing something helped you know if you liked it," he mumbles thickly, "I know I like the thought of being with a man…"

"But you want to try something physical to confirm if you do or not," Yoongi finishes and Jeongguk nods, looking red and embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I've made things weird," he says sadly and Yoongi's leaning up before he even realises what he's doing.

"No, Jeongguk-ah, no-" he says and then suddenly he isn't speaking anymore, because his lips are on Jeongguk's and they're kissing. It's not even really kissing; it's Yoongi pressing his dry lips to Jeongguk's plush bitten one's, but Jeongguk still squeaks in surprise. Yoongi kisses him once, twice, and worries about the lack of response he's getting. "Jeongguk-" he begins.

Jeongguk kisses him then, effectively shutting him up with a harder press of his lips. Yoongi's words die in his mouth and he whimpers softly as Jeongguk kisses him again and again and again, shifting so that his body is settled firmly over Yoongi's now. The bed sheets rustle as they shift when they get more into the kisses, when Yoongi slides a hand up Jeongguk's side and fists in the back of his shirt.

He feels something warm and wet press against his lower lip and he opens his mouth, touches the tip of his tongue to Jeongguk's, and exhales softly, the end dragging out to a soft whine. His eyes may be closed but, like a blind man, his other senses are heightened. Jeongguk smells so good, like soap and sweat and home. Yoongi can feel every hard press of his body, the thick muscle of his shoulders and the power in his backbone, and he can hear the slick sound of their kisses, a little sloppy and a bit uncoordinated but still so good.

Jeongguk whimpers softly and the sound has Yoongi dragging his mouth away, though he keeps their foreheads pressed together as they share breathing space. Jeongguk is trembling again. "Fuck…" the younger boy breathes.

Yoongi stays still. He doesn't need to ask if Jeongguk liked it; he can feel the other boy already getting aroused against his leg. He's horrified though when he sees Jeongguk really has started to cry now.

"Jeongguk," he moans, hurting at seeing him despair.

"I'm sorry, hyung," Jeongguk sniffles. He wipes his eyes frantically. "I'm so sorry."

"Stop it, don't cry." Yoongi holds him against his chest as Jeongguk cries quietly in his arms and shushes him soothingly. After a while, Jeongguk stops trembling and Yoongi squeezes him tight. "Feeling any better?" he asks gently and Jeongguk sniffles, nods. "

Sorry," he says.

"Don't apologise," Yoongi insists. "I know it seems like a lot."

"The kiss was nice as well," Jeongguk says quietly and Yoongi swallows. He puts on a brave face. 

"I'm just glad that it wasn't that that made you cry," he says and Jeongguk snorts.

"Could we…do it again some time?" he asks.

Yoongi should say no. As much as he wants to help Jeongguk, he's only going to hurt himself by doing more things with him. Kissing him has given his imagination a taste; this is what it could be like to be with him, imagine that. He'll say no, he'll let him down gently, he won't do it again-

"Sure," Yoongi says. "Of course, whatever you need to do."

Jeongguk smiles then. Yoongi wipes at his red cheeks with a thumb, blushing when Jeongguk ducks his head down and presses a quick kiss to it. "Thanks, hyung. You're the best. You've been so good to me."

Yoongi's chest hurts. "Anything for you, Jeongguk," he says, sticking on a brave face.

"Do you mind if we don't watch anything tonight?" Jeongguk asks. "I'm not really in the mood for jerking off right now."

"Yeah, no, that's fine." Yoongi doesn't think about the feeling of Jeongguk's lips on his and how hard he knows it's going to make him come when he jerks off in the shower later. Time and a place, Yoongi…

They stay wrapped up together, just talking or enjoying the occasional silence till they hear the other boys getting back. "I should probably go," Jeongguk sighs, reluctant to move. Yoongi doesn't want to let go of him, having gotten used to the weight and heat of Jeongguk's body stretched over his.

Jeongguk is gathering up his shoes when the door opens and Seokjin wonders in, followed by Namjoon. "Ah, I was looking for you," Namjoon says to Jeongguk who looks at his feet. "Everything ok?"

"'was just talking to Yoongi hyung," Jeongguk mumbles and Namjoon quirks an eyebrow. Yoongi nods to him subtly and Namjoon beams.

"That's good, it must be nice for you two to hang out. Come on, let's get ready for bed," he says, ruffling Jeongguk's hair as the younger boy squeezes past him.

"Goodnight hyungs," Jeongguk says and Yoongi and Seokjin bid him goodnight. Namjoon gives Yoongi another nod and leaves also.

"Did you have fun?" Seokjin asks when it's just the two of them again. Yoongi nods, rolling onto his side. The panic of what's happening to him is starting to feel all too real now. "Are you ok?" Seokjin continues, "Your mouth looks a bit sore."

Yoongi touches his mouth; it still feels tingly from where Jeongguk kissed him. "I bit my lip when eating," he says quickly.

He waits until later that evening to shower, when the lights are all off and everyone else has gone to sleep. It gives him a weird sense of déjà vu of that night all those months ago, when he was curled up on the couch and Jeongguk came out of the shower. It was a night that started to change everything about their relationship.

Yoongi strips off and steps into the shower. His hand automatically goes to his dick as he jerks off furiously, thinking about the wet of Jeongguk's mouth and how it had felt to kiss him, the warm bulge of Jeongguk's cock faint against Yoongi's hip. That's how he comes, all over the wall with a fist shoved in his mouth as he sobs through the pleasure.

The realisation of what he's done sinks in as he steps out and dries himself off. He's fucked, well and truly. When Yoongi gets into his bed that night, he tries very hard not to cry. He wishes he had someone that could hold him as well.

*

In almost no time at all, they're leaving South Korea again. Yoongi wonders where the time went as he sits in the hire car on the way to the hotel. It's dark out, but the city is very much alive. Jeongguk squeezes his arm and Yoongi gives him a small smile.

His eyes drift to Jeongguk's mouth without him even realising it now, and he finds himself licking his lips before he even realises what he's doing.

He's excited. He and Jeongguk are sharing a hotel room for the first time in ages. He knows Jeongguk is anticipating it too; he can tell by the way his foot keeps bouncing.

Since the night they'd kissed, things had been up and down. Jeongguk is remerging from his shell nicely; although the other boys don't know the full story, they have enough sense to be delicate with him and not provoke him too much. Sometimes Yoongi will catch Jeongguk staring of into space again so he'll bring him back to the present, usually by sliding an arm around him or squeezing his leg.

In private, their kisses have progressed also. Jeongguk doesn't want to do it every time. Often, he just wants Yoongi's company; he'll sit and play video games while Yoongi works or they'll watch porn together. There are some days though, where Jeongguk will climb into Yoongi's lap and they'll trade kisses. Sometimes it's one or two. Other times they can be at it for half an hour, till Yoongi's eyes are lidded and his lips are red and he's hard inside his boxers.

Tonight is one of their longer nights. They've both showered and are in their pyjamas. Yoongi is searching through his bag for his moisturiser, and Jeongguk is stretched out on his bed, playing on his phone. He yawns.

"You should go to sleep," Yoongi says and Jeongguk throws his phone to the side, groaning exaggeratedly.

"Can't," he moans, "Jetlag. I'm not tired yet, hyung. I have too much energy." Yoongi rises slowly to his feet, eyes raking over Jeongguk. He sees Yoongi looking and stretches, arching his back and lifting his shirt to rub casually at the firm skin of his belly. "Maybe we could pass the time together till I get tired," Jeongguk suggests, not looking at Yoongi, instead opting to play with the drawstring of his pants.

Yoongi swallows thickly. "You want to do something?" he asks, mouth already watering a little at the thought, and Jeongguk hums, giggles softly.

"Come and kiss me, hyung?" he says sweetly and Yoongi is powerless, drawn across the room by an invisible thread. He falls onto the bed, getting on his knees and gulping. He makes to sit next to Jeongguk, who suddenly spreads his legs. "Come here, hyung. On top of me."

This is new. Yoongi is always on the bottom or lying beside Jeongguk. He shuffles up the bed and kneels between Jeongguk's spread thighs, placing his hands on either side of Jeongguk's head in order support his weight as he leans down to kiss him.

Jeongguk attaches their mouths eagerly, hands immediately grabbing Yoongi by the collar of his sleep shirt, teeth sinking into the plush of Yoongi's lower lip and dragging a little. He's been getting progressively rougher with his kisses, the more practiced he becomes, and the slick slide of their lips has Yoongi going weak.

Jeongguk whines softly, hand moving to soothe Yoongi's hair out of the way. He suddenly rolls them; Yoongi oofs and then Jeongguk is on him again, kissing him roughly before moving down to mouth at Yoongi's cheeks, chin and neck.

"Oh fuck," Yoongi gasps and Jeongguk lifts his head.

"Is that ok?" he asks, looking worried, and Yoongi grabs his hair and pulls him down, kissing him fiercely.

"It's so ok," he says.

They make out for twenty minutes. Yoongi is practically trembling when Jeongguk finally moves away, lying on his back and reaching for his laptop. Yoongi reaches down and squeezes himself, nearly crying from how good it feels. He's so turned on, it hurts, and that's only from kissing. He hasn't been this volatile since he was a teenager and he both loves and hates it.

Jeongguk has the laptop set up and his boxers down, licking up his palm and fisting his dick. Yoongi nearly chokes at the sight. It still takes his breath away, even after how long they've been doing this.

"Come on, you're making me feel self-conscious," Jeongguk says, licking the sweat from his upper lip. Yoongi glares at him, because there is no way the little shit doesn't know how good he looks right now. Yoongi could eat him up, he looks so goddam delectable.

Shoving his own pants and boxers down to mid-thigh, Yoongi takes himself in hand, applying a little bit of pressure here and there to stimulate himself. It won't take much to make him come.

The porn video Jeongguk has chosen today consists of men being spanked during sex. It's not really Yoongi's thing, but Yoongi's thing nowadays seems to be Jeongguk so, go figure. Jeongguk likes it, which is the important thing, if the way he moans softly alongside the men being smacked in the videos is any indication.

The room is silent for the next couple of minutes, the only sound being the wet slide of their fists and the occasional poignant slap ringing from the laptop speakers.

Jeongguk has nearly reached his peak, cock weeping and red against his abs. Yoongi can tell by the way his hips are rocking frantically, how he humps into his hand, pretty gasps spilling from his lips.

"Are you going to come?" Yoongi asks and Jeongguk moans.

"Fuck, yeah, I'm gonna-"

"Hyung?" There's a knock on the door. They stop touching themselves immediately, staring wide eyed at the door as someone knocks again. "Jeongguk-ah?"

Jeongguk groans, though it's for entirely different reasons this time. "What the fuck?" he hisses.

Yoongi is struggling to get his pants up and over his straining erection. "Who is it?" he calls, wincing at how gruff his voice sounds.

"It's Jimin, are you busy?"

"Fuck…" Jeongguk says as Yoongi stumbles to his feet. Jeongguk is grabbing the duvet and pulling it over himself, tucking it firmly round his waist to hide his straining dick.

"Just give us a minute," Yoongi says. He points frantically at the laptop, which is still playing the gay porn. Yoongi is suddenly very conscious of how loud it is, and he hopes Jimin can't hear them through the door. Jeongguk is already on it, exiting the page and putting on the first thing that comes up on Netflix.

Checking himself quickly, Yoongi scowls at his reflection. He's flushed and pink, brow damp under his fringe and eyes big. Jeongguk doesn't fare much better; he looks like a subtle breeze would be enough to push him over the edge.

They look so fucking shady; Yoongi feels like it's obvious what they've been up to. He takes a deep breath and opens the door. Jimin is waiting on the other side, bare faced and rumpled looking.

He smiles though, big and happy, when he sees Yoongi. "Hey, hyung," he says politely, "I'm not bothering you, am I?"

Yes, Yoongi thinks. He'd only needed five more minutes, and he'd have had another happy image of Jeongguk covered in cum to add to his spank bank. "No," he says, "What's up?"

"I was wondering if I could hang out in here for a bit. I'm still not over my jetlag and Hobi-hyung is trying to sleep. I went to Jin-hyung and Namjoon-hyung's room, but they yelled at me for waking them up," Jimin says, "Taehyung's facetiming with his family. I don't have anywhere else to go."

Yoongi swallows and tries to will away his erection with the power of stubborn thought. He feels bad for Jimin, who looks exhausted, but all of them are all too familiar with the curses of jetlag.

"Come on in," he says and Jimin visibly perks up at that.

Jeongguk gives them a wave when they re-enter the bedrooms. "Hey, hyung," he greets Jimin.

"What are you guys watching?" Jimin asks, kicking off his shoes and running a hand through his hair. It flops immediately back into place, making the action redundant.

"Uh…" Jeongguk squints at the screen. "Pulp Fiction?" He meets Yoongi's eye, who shrugs wildly behind Jimin's shoulder.

"Oh, I like that movie," Jimin says, "Budge up."

Jeongguk's eye widen and Yoongi darts in front of Jimin. "Hang on, I want to be in the middle," he says quickly. He pulls the covers back just enough to climb under with Jeongguk.

"Huh?" Jimin asks, climbing on to the bed and Yoongi swallows his pride; it's for the sake of their dignity overall.

"The…smallest in the middle," he says through gritted teeth.

"I won't come under the covers," Jimin decides, laying down beside him over the blankets and Yoongi's heart leaps in relief. He makes out like he's disappointed.

"Oh? Why not?"

"Jeongguk-ah is like a furnace, it'll be too hot with the three of us under there," Jimin says, his eyes drifting to the screen as he snuggles up next to Yoongi. Yoongi side-eyes Jeongguk; the youngest boy swallows thickly, Adam's apple bobbing. Clearly Jeongguk was having a harder time calming his body down than Yoongi.

Yoongi isn't really paying attention to the movie. He's got Jimin curled up on one side of him, and Jeongguk on the other. It's true what Jimin said; Jeongguk's body temperature always runs hot, and Yoongi can feel every press of his hard body. He's not lost to the fact that Jeongguk is still naked under the blankets, and the thought has Yoongi's dick twitching.

After a while, Jimin's breathing evens out and a quick glance over at him confirms that he's fallen asleep. Yoongi's own eyelids are getting heavy; he's ready to nod off at any second when Jeongguk starts to squirm around next to him.

Yoongi ignores his wriggling for the time being, watching the laptop over where Jeongguk has propped his knees up under the duvet, and it isn't until Jeongguk takes a deep shaky breath that Yoongi really bothers to look at him. The younger boy isn't watching the screen. Instead he's looking over it, and his temple has started to bead with sweat.

That's when Yoongi sees it.

The soft, subtle movement below the blanket.

"Holy shit," he mumbles, too shocked to be subtle, and Jeongguk's head whips to face him as his fist moves again and his eyes glaze over.

"H-hyung…" he mouths, breath stuttering, and Yoongi doesn't know what to do because Jeongguk is jerking off, naked, against Yoongi's leg and Jimin is right there. It's so dangerous and so erotic that Yoongi swears he can feel the blood rushing to his dick, desperate to get hard and release the orgasm he'd been building to earlier.

Jeongguk's mouth drops open and he moans, trying to stop the sound but failing. "Ah, fuck…" he hisses, his fist speeding up.

"Jeongguk," Yoongi hisses and then Jeongguk is shuffling over to kiss at Yoongi's shoulder. Beside him, Jimin shuffles, mumbling something unintelligible into Yoongi's other arm and for lack of something to do, Yoongi offers Jeongguk his arm to bite on. "You're going to get us in trouble," Yoongi whispers, his voice gravelly.

"Don't make me stop," Jeongguk whines quietly.

"I don't want you to. You have to be quiet though."

Jeongguk nods and shuffles onto his back, drawing his lower lip between his teeth and swallowing his groan. "I'm gonna come," he warns.

Yoongi's hand slides under the duvet, up Jeongguk's strong thigh and coming to a stop on the crease of the V of his hips. Jeongguk stares at his with desperation heavy in his eyes, and Yoongi, maintaining eye contact the whole time, drags his nails down Jeongguk's V towards his crotch.

It's like flood gates opening. Jeongguk arcs of the bed and Yoongi feels wet heat burst under the blanket. A bit of it goes on his hand and he groan's quietly. Jeongguk has shoved his own fist in his mouth, but it doesn't quiet cover his cry of pleasure.

Jimin jerks awake suddenly, looking around blearily. "What did I miss?" he slurs, still half asleep and Yoongi springs into action.

"The dance scene," he says quickly, pointing to the screen as Jimin's eyes come into focus. He hums in disappointment.

"I like that part," he huffs, then knuckles his eyes like a cranky child. "I'm tired, I'm going to go to my bed."

"I think that's a good idea," Yoongi says, his voice a bit breathless. Jeongguk's fist has started to move again, so slowly.

"Ok, goodnight," Jimin says, stumbling to his feet and tucking them into his shoes, not bothering to put them on properly. "Thanks for letting me hang here."

"Anytime," Jeongguk pipes up and Yoongi shoots him a glare. He waits for the sound of the hotel room door clicking shut before he's throwing of the blankets and getting his fist down his pants.

"You're a little shit, Jeon Jeongguk, did you know that?"

"Did you like that, hyung?" Jeongguk asks. He looks blissed out and sated, his eyelids drooping for the first time that evening. "You like it when we might get caught."

"Fuck…" Yoongi gasps, his fist speeding up. His balls feel tight and heavy, his body anticipating finally getting to come that evening.

"You've still got my cum on your hand," Jeongguk says suddenly and then Yoongi's coming, right there into his sweatpants like a horny teenager. There's so much of it, but god does it feel good. The intensity of it has him trembling when he finally finished, collapsing onto his back.

"You're too much…" he whines half-heartedly. Jeongguk is already snuggling down, eyes shutting as he makes himself comfortable. "I don't know about you, hyung, but I'm ready to sleep now," he says, like nothing's happened.

Yoongi swears this boy will be the death of him.

Chapter Text

It's fair to say that Yoongi has known poorer times in his life. He's never made it a secret or tried to cover up that fact; he's referenced it in lyrics on multiple occasions, and he's reminded of it every time the world feels a little too overwhelming and he needs a reality check.

Look how far you've come.

He thinks about it whenever they release a new single, or when they win an award, or when they're playing a show and he looks over the crowd to catch sight of his parent's approving faces. How different his life has become to what he thought it would be when he was a child in Daegu, with a family struggling for money.

He remembers being small and sitting in the front of the shopping cart with his brother walking beside him, as their parents made their way around the local grocery store putting back the items they could not afford in their budget that week. He remembers seeing how other parents would turn their noses up at them, grabbing their tantrum-ing children by the hand and force feeding them sweeties to keep them quiet. He remembers hating them all so much.

Now, parents like that are buying his merch. They're clambering for tickets to BTS gigs and crashing their websites due to popular demand, all so they can get a look at Suga and the rest of the Bangtan Boys. He could buy that supermarket that his parents struggled for food in now, and all of the items in it. He could buy the whole street if he wanted to. He marvels at the irony.

But he digresses. The point is that when he was younger, he was used to not having what other children had. He'd accepted that rather well, looking back on it. He rarely got jealous of other children his age, because even when he was little he'd understood the concept of money and society and living beyond one's means.

That didn't mean that he was perfect though. Jealousy is a green-eyed monster, and it had sunk its claws into Yoongi, the few times when he'd allowed it to.

"Hhmm…where did you go?" A warm kiss is placed to the skin above his heart. Yoongi jumps a little and Jeongguk runs a large palm up his bicep to curl around his shoulder. "Hyung? You with me?"

"What?" Yoongi asks sleepily and Jeongguk smiles.

"You were in your head again. Everything ok?"

"Yes…" Yoongi pauses. They're curled up in his bed, having moved the night before to avoid any unpleasant wet patches from their previous nocturnal activity's. Yoongi is back in his sleep pants but Jeongguk is still naked, comfortable in his body and the warmth of the bed. Yoongi's hand soothes down his back. "I was thinking about kites."

Jeongguk actually chortles. "Kites?" he asks, eyes far too bright and alert for this time in the morning. Yoongi hums.

"Yes," he says, "A bright red kite with a tail that almost touched the ground."

"It's not a great kite then, is it? If its tail still touches the ground."

"I said almost." Yoongi pinches him on the nipple, and Jeongguk squirms.

"Don't, I'm sensitive," he whines and Yoongi snorts.

"Don't be so wet."

"You like it," Jeongguk replies. He quirks his eyebrow, voice dropping lower and Yoongi shudders. He wants to roll Jeongguk under him and kiss away the final few traces of sleep from his expression. Then he'd like to play with his nipples till he's panting and flushed. The pièce-de-résistance would be when he ducks his head down under the blankets and sucks Jeongguk off till the boy is coming, wet and messy, in his mouth.

But he doesn't.

Because that would be jumping way over the line they have set for themselves of mutual masturbation and naked cuddles. Yoongi has only ever really kissed Jeongguk above the neck, other than the occasional peck to his fingers or palm. Anything more would be entering into lover territory, and Yoongi can't go there. He can't.

He might just die if he does.

So instead he looks up at Jeongguk's smirking face; the way he bites his lip and his eyes roll down Yoongi's body in a sultry sloping wave, and he gives him a shove. "Go shower, you stink."

Jeongguk looks momentarily shocked and the spell is broken. He snorts in indignation. "You just want the bed all to yourself," he says, rolling over and getting up.

"What did you expect?" Yoongi asks. He tucks the blanket up to his chin as Jeongguk stretches for the ceiling, shakes his ass in a teasing wiggle that is purely for comical effect but still has Yoongi's mouth going dry. "Go!" he orders and Jeongguk laughs.

He walks to the bathroom with an exaggerated sway of his hips. "Are you enjoying the view?" he asks.

Yoongi is. The sight of Jeongguk's ass, perky and peachy and oh-so-biteable, is turning him on. He wants nothing more than to drop to his knees and crawl across the floor on all fours to bury his face in Jeongguk's ass and show him how flexible Yoongi's tongue can be. Stop it. He makes a point of burrowing deeper under the duvet. "If you mean the view of the back of my eyelids, then yes," he says and Jeongguk barks a laugh.

Yoongi actually does fall asleep again (it's a weakness he has; put him on a soft surface and he'll be out like a lightbulb), and he's only roused when someone strokes his hair away from his forehead.

"Hyung…" Jeongguk says softly and Yoongi groans. "You can stay asleep, I'm just going to the gym with Hobi-hyung," he says and Yoongi nods into his pillow. He slits his eyes open, marvelling at the sight of Jeongguk in his gym gear and he wants to be awake when he gets back so he can see him sweaty and hot. "Try not to have any more dreams about kites." Jeongguk pauses for a moment and then ducks down, kissing Yoongi quickly on the temple and then darting out of the room.

Yoongi groans again and rolls onto his back. He manages to sleep a bit longer, before one of the managers comes knocking on the door. "PT," she says, by way of explanation.

Yoongi slumps down to the gym after her, sulking, because god forbid any of them appear on television with abs made of anything less than chiselled marble. He's still half asleep on the exercise bike when he looks over and sees Jeongguk lifting weights. He's doing squats with them, and Yoongi can see the curve of his thighs when he squats down, the stretch and firmness of the muscles there. He's reminded uncomfortably of his face-sitting fantasy and he gulps, cycling faster.

He ends up being held prisoner in the hotel gym for over an hour, and when they finally set him free, he's sweaty and starving. He decides to forgo his shower in favour of getting himself a late breakfast. The other boys are sitting out on one of the balconies, squashed around and gobbling food in spite of all the calories they'd just burned off.

Yoongi gets himself some eggs, bacon and coffee as he heads over. There isn't a free seat around the little table and Yoongi huffs. "Can you move up?" he asks Jimin, who is almost choking himself in an attempt to eat his sugary cereal, lest a manager sees him and tries to take it away.

"It's ok, hyung, you sit here," Jeongguk says. He's back in his baggy oversized shirts and shorts now, hair damp from his second shower and skin flushed as he eats a banana. God, Yoongi could have done without that mental picture.

"You haven't finished," Seokjin points out.

"It's ok, I'll sit with Tae hyung," Jeongguk beams and then, to Taehyung's (and Yoongi's) horror, he plops himself directly in Taehyung's lap.

"Jeongguk-ah! I'm eating!" Taehyung whines as they start to bicker back and forth. Yoongi can't hear it though, as his eyes are trained on the way Jeongguk straddles Taehyung's lap, how his back presses to the other boy's chest as he leans on him. "You're heavy…" Taehyung moans.

"Stop wriggling," Jeongguk says and Yoongi stabs his bacon aggressively. Everyone stops eating for a moment to stare at him and he looks up, blushes.

"…Sorry," he says quickly, "Don't know my own strength apparently."

The noise around the table resumes again and Yoongi chews his bacon but doesn't swallow; just grinds it between his teeth as he stews and watches where Jeongguk has settled into Taehyung now, wrapping an arm around his neck.

Fuck. He's jealous.

He thinks again about the kite.

When Yoongi was younger, he knew he couldn't have nice toys like what the other children had. His parents couldn't afford it; anything he got was a thrift store brought hand-me-down from his older brother, like a teddy with an eye missing, or a toy truck with only one wheel.

It was ok, because Yoongi had his imagination, and his mother would play pretend with him. He was content and happy with that, lack of wheels be damned.

Until one day, when his mother came to pick him up from school, he saw one of his classmates playing with a kite. It was bright red with a long tail, and this boy was running back and forth with it, unable to lift it from the ground.

There was no wind, that was the only reason it wouldn't take flight, but Yoongi didn't understand that. He remembered feeling what he could now name as disgust at the other child's poor kite flying abilities. Yoongi remembered thinking, If I had that kite, I'd be able to make it fly.

He wasn't a bratty child, by any means, but there was something about that kite that turned him into a little terror. He begged his mother for one of his own. She said no so he begged his father. Then they sat him down and told him sternly that when one parent says no, it doesn't mean he can run to the other and ask them. No means no, Yoongi.

Still he didn't let up. The next day at school, he saw the boy flying the kite. "Please," he begged his mother. Every day, when he saw the boy with the kite. Please please please. She must have felt bad for him, because she spent one evening making him a kite out of two twigs and a sheet of paper. When she gave it to him, Yoongi threw it at her in a tantrum so severe, he was sent to his room without dinner, and he got his bottom smacked which hardly ever happened.

After that, he gave up on the kite. If he saw the little boy, he'd fold his arms and pout his lips and stomp his feet, but he didn't ask again.

Until one day, for show and tell, the little boy brought the kite in. He stood proudly at the front of the class and told them all about it, how it was from Am-er-ri-ca and it had a tail long enough to reach the sky and how it flew with magic. Yoongi had felt sick with envy till the teacher asked if his classmates would be allowed a go.

They all filed out into the playground, pushing and shoving each other into a line. Yoongi hung back, eagerly awaiting his turn, hands shaky with anticipation. The other children could barely get it a foot from the ground, and Yoongi remembered feeling more and more nervous. "Min Yoongi!" his teacher had called and Yoongi took a deep breath, like his mother had told him to do when he felt anxious, and stepped up to the plate.

He could hear the other children whispering behind him as he took the string, wound it around his little fist and then threw the kite up as high as he could.

Luck must have been on his side that day, as the wind suddenly kicked up and the kite sore high into the air, pulling Yoongi with it so his teacher had to grab him to keep him upright. The rest of the class had been silent in wonder as the kite twisted and turned, and Yoongi remembered never feeling more alive as he held that string in his hands.

He's reminded of that kite when he thinks about how he feels for Jeongguk. And ok, it's not the sexiest metaphor in the world, shoot him, but Jeongguk is so bright and colourful and alive, twisting and spinning like a kite in the air. He's a free spirit, a powerful nostalgia, but he needs someone to help him when he needs grounding; to keep a hold of his string or else he'll fly away out of reach.

Yoongi wants to be the one holding that string.

And right now, someone else is. In fact, multiple people are. His bandmates, their team, their fans. Everybody wants a turn at flying the Jeongguk kite, and Yoongi doesn't like it.

It's becoming problematic, he realises a few days later, when Seokjin throws an arm around Jeongguk's shoulders and Yoongi actually growls. Hoseok blinks at him.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"That noise you just made."

"I didn't make a noise."

"You did, it sounded like…ggrr…" Hoseok says, frowning at him.

Yoongi glares at him. "I did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"I'll put hair removal cream in your shampoo," Yoongi threatens, very seriously, and Hoseok has the good sense to shut up.

Yoongi goes back to sulking in his seat. They're going to perform again; the same single, just a different award this time, but the pressure is still on. They're at the venue today, trying to map out placement and body positions and formation. Jeongguk laughs at something one of their managers has just said and Yoongi rolls his eyes.

It's not even like he can be mad at everybody for being affectionate towards Jeongguk, because Jeongguk openly invites it; encourages it even. He's such a physical person, one can't help but want to touch him, hold him, soothe him; when he puts on those big eyes and that dopey grin and that sweet little maknae voice, like he's so innocent.

Yoongi knows the truth. Jeongguk may look all soft and cute on the outside, but he's dirty. He can dirty talk to filth and grind against the sheets in a way that would put a porn star to shame. Yoongi smirks a little to himself at the knowledge that he knows this. No one else on the team does.

…He hopes.

"What are you smirking at?"

Jeongguk thumps down next to him and winds an arm around his shoulders. Yoongi opens his mouth and then pauses for a moment. He wants to say something but he's worried that he's crossing a line. Then he remembers that he had Jeongguk naked on his bed yesterday literally begging Yoongi to describe the first time he ever rimmed someone, so he figures he's ok.

"I was thinking about how good you looked on my bed last night," he says calmly. Jeongguk's hand tightens momentarily on Yoongi's shoulder; his eyes flash and his tongue darts out to wet his lips.

"Oh yeah?" he asks.

"Yeah," Yoongi says and picks at a thread on the rip of his jeans.

"What else were you thinking?" Jeongguk leans closer, his mouth to Yoongi's ear. His warm tantalizing voice sends shivers up Yoongi's back and makes the hair on his arms stand on end.

"I was thinking about how much better you'd look all marked up," he says and fuck, Jesus, why did he say that? That's definitely crossing the line, right from slightly erotic to immensely creepy.

Yoongi wants to smack himself because it's one thing to be jealous but to be possessive? He's not yours, he tells himself angrily, stop acting like a jealous boyfriend.

He's ready to apologise immediately and blame his loose tongue on lack of sleep, when he feels Jeongguk's fingers find his hand in the dark of the room. The crew in the lighting rig are trying to coordinate a spot light to follow Hoseok when he's dancing.

Jeongguk is staring at the stage, but the drum of his fingers against Yoongi's pulse indicate that his attention is fully on Yoongi. "I thought you didn't like it when I got marked up," he says, a low teasing edge to his voice.

Yoongi swallows around the lump in his throat. "I…"

"Or do you only like it if you're the one doing the marking?" Jeongguk flips his head to look at him and eyes him with a sultry smirk. "Huh, hyung? You want me all covered in marks and bruises for you?"

"I…uh, no, I don't-…" It's not fair. Yoongi's a grown man for god's sake, why can't he speak? He feels like prey, caught in a trap.

"That's a shame," Jeongguk says and he let's go of Yoongi's hand; rises to his feet and stretches. "I was going to ask you to take me to a dark corner and give me a hickey, but if you're not into it, I guess that's ok as well."

"Wait, what-"

"I'll have to find someone else to do it," Jeongguk sighs as he starts to slowly skip away. The sound crew are playing a sample of their song to give the lighting guys an audio que, and Jeongguk times his steps with the beat. "Maybe your dancer friend will do it for me? You think he fancies all the members, or he's just Suga exclusive?"

It takes Yoongi a moment to realise that Jeongguk is talking about Taemin. It takes him even longer to realise that Jeongguk has just given him an opening, and instead of taking it, he's sitting there gaping like a fish. Leaping to his feet, he pounds of after him.

"Hyung!" Namjoon barks. Yoongi freezes mid step. "Where are you going?"

"I- have to pee?"

Namjoon pinches his brow. "Fine, be quick though. They've finally worked out the sound que. If you see Jeongguk, tell him he needs to come back and stop wondering off?"

Yoongi salutes and marches away in the general direction Jeongguk had wondered off in. He finds him, taking pictures of a set of candles set up like a little memorial against the wall.

Yoongi has enough self-control to wait for him to be done, and it's only when Jeongguk is scrolling through his phone that he strides forwards and grabs him by the collar, hauling him away from everyone else.

"Ah, hyung, stop-"

Yoongi shoves him into a room and shuts the door behind them. They're in a janitor closet (oh, how original), and Yoongi pushes him up against the wall, plasters his pelvis parallel to Jeongguk's and brackets him in his arms. He looks up at the younger boy; can just make out his features through the bubble of light that strains through the little circular window on the door.

"Do you want this?" he asks firmly and Jeongguk squirms. The movement causes him to rub against Yoongi, who presses their hips together harder. "Answer me."

"This is a little public for you, hyung, no?" Jeongguk asks, trying for teasing but the breathiness of his voice betrays him. Yoongi leans up on his tip-toes, his mouth to Jeongguk's ear.

"Last time, Kook-ah. Do. You. Want this?" he asks, lips tickling the little silver hoops that decorate Jeongguk's lobes. The younger boy shudders.

"I wouldn't have provoked you if I didn't."

"You like it?" Yoongi hisses and Jeongguk strains, nods.

"It makes me feel hot, like I'm melting," he says, the words leaving him in a rush, "Like I'm fire and ice at the same time."

"You like it to hurt?"

"I want it to burn," Jeongguk gasps and that's all Yoongi needs before he's sinking his teeth into the juncture of Jeongguk's neck, sliding his arms around him when Jeongguk moans and practically goes slack.

"Aahh-"

The breathy moan has Yoongi sliding a hand down to cup Jeongguk's ass and squeeze gently as he sucks the skin in his mouth between his teeth and lathers it with his tongue. He can feel the pressure around his mouth getting tighter as he worries at the juncture of Jeongguk's neck, the lewd slurp of his mouth and the heavy breathing he draws in and out through his nose as Jeongguk sobs in little pants of air.

His hands scrabble up and down Yoongi's back, one eventually locking in his hair as the other grabs his ass and mashes their crotches together.

"Ah, fuck-" Yoongi releases the skin in his mouth and Jeongguk sobs.

"Another, please, another, I might die-" He begs. Yoongi bites him again, just below the first hickey he left and Jeongguk makes this strange noise between a moan and a hiccup, his head knocking back against the wall as he turns to putty in Yoongi's arms. "Hyung, please," he moans.

Yoongi nibbles down one side of his throat, till Jeongguk is a shaking boneless mess in his arms, grinding his hips again Yoongi in a useless attempt to gain any kind of friction. He rears back to survey his work; is pleasantly pleased with the results. The whole left side of Jeongguk's throat has come up in a violent constellation of colour; rich purples and berry reds.

"Beautiful…" Yoongi breathes and Jeongguk keens at the praise. His hands are already at the button of his jeans, as he struggles to undo it with shaking fingers.

"I need to come," he sobs, "Please, Yoongi hyung, it hurts."

"Are you in pain?" Yoongi checks immediately and Jeongguk shakes his head, sniffling.

"'feels so good, 'm so hard- ah-" He's got one hand down his pants now, is jerking himself off as best he can in the tight constraint of his boxers.

"If you come, there's no way of cleaning yourself up," Yoongi points out but Jeongguk shrugs him off, grabbing Yoongi's hand and pressing it to the love bites on his neck.

"Baggy shirt, no one will s-see," he says, wincing, "J-just press here-"

Yoongi obeys, applying a light pressure to the first hickey he'd done and Jeongguk comes, collapsing against the wall as he trembles through the aftershocks.

Yoongi holds him through it, let's Jeongguk rest his forehead against Yoongi's and pant into his mouth. "You really like getting hickeys?" Yoongi asks, his voice so deep and gruff and Jeongguk squirms in embarrassment.

"I didn't mean- I just think it's hot!" he protests but Yoongi shakes his head. The movement causes the tips of their noses to rub together in a weird imitation of an Eskimo kiss.

"I liked it too," Yoongi says softly and Jeongguk huffs, hair ruffling.

He kisses Yoongi's flushed cheeks, murmurs, "You're so hot." His hands slide around Yoongi's ass, one goes up his clothed thigh and over the bulge of his dick. Yoongi sucks in a sharp breath, turning his head to the side when Jeongguk seems to seek his mouth. "Hyung…?"

"We need to head back," Yoongi says, clearing his throat. Jeongguk's hand is still working in a tantalizing rub, and Yoongi is very conscious he might come in his boxers.

Jeongguk whines and Yoongi has to take hold of his wrists, forcing them to his side. The action makes Jeongguk sag in submission again, and Yoongi's going to need a rain check on the whole 'not-coming-in-your-boxers-like-a-horny-pre-teen' because Jesus Christ, Jeongguk is full of fucking surprises.

"Later, in the room," Jeongguk says and Yoongi's nodding; he doesn't even know what he's agreeing to, but if the way Jeongguk is looking at him, with big glassy eyes and a fucked-out expression is any indication, he can tell it's going to be good.

"I need to go to the bathroom," he says, "And you need to get cleaned up."

Yoongi splashes his face with cold water, then does the same to the back of his neck. Jeongguk is in the far-end cubicle, wiping himself down and Yoongi fixes his hair; tugs on his sweater and hopes it'll be enough.

Back at the stage, Namjoon is slowly losing the will to live. "Did you fall in?" he demands when Yoongi sidles up, not looking the least bit sorry for making them wait.

"Bad stomach," Yoongi says, by way of explanation and everyone protests in disgust. Seokjin is feeling his forehead.

"You're very warm," he says worriedly, "I hope you're not getting sick."

"I'm ok," Yoongi shrugs, "Might just be something I ate."

"I bet it was that bacon," Jimin says helpfully.

"Where is Jeongguk?" Namjoon suddenly explodes, "God, we find one member and then lose another!"

"Calm down," Seokjin mutters, "We'll send someone to find him."

It turns out there's no need to send out the search party, as Jeongguk wonders in. Namjoon takes one look at him, his eyes homing in on the love-bites on Jeongguk's neck, and he throws his hands up in disgust. "You're unbelievable," he says, storming away.

Yoongi looks over; he can see the managers have clocked to Jeongguk's neck as well, and are no doubt gearing up for A Talk. Yoongi can't really bring himself to care. He's secretly thrilled to see the bruises there, and how proud Jeongguk seems to be of them.

"She must have been eager," Hoseok says, indicating at Jeongguk's neck. Jeongguk touches his throat, fingers brushing the bruises and he smiles softly, his eyes locked on Yoongi's.

"Yeah, she was," he says, smirking, and Yoongi hopes he's not blushing. He has to look away encase he is, and finds Taehyung staring at him with an intense look on his face. Yoongi raises a questioning eyebrow at him but Taehyung just turns away, his forehead creased in thought.

They all get chewed out by management; they file them into a room back in the hotel and contact the Big Bosses in South Korea via a Skype call, who sit and tell them very sternly that the whole world is watching, and under no circumstances are they allowed to do anything right now that might compromise them, which means no more love bites. Period.

Jeongguk is held back after the meeting, and the rest of them are sent back to their rooms. Yoongi waits anxiously, terrified that the managers will grill the younger boy till he chokes and cracks. Jeongguk will spill the beans and everyone will know Yoongi's bisexual, he likes dick, he needs to go, get him gone now.

There's a fumbling with the door and Yoongi rises from his bed as Jeongguk let's himself in, cursing at the lock.

"What happened?" he asks but Jeongguk is already pacing across the room, sliding his arms around Yoongi's waist and kissing him fiercely. Yoongi moans, melting in his arms as Jeongguk hoists him up and pushes him against the wall, hands on his ass as Yoongi wraps his legs around Jeongguk's trim waist.

"Kiss my neck," Jeongguk breaths and Yoongi is already making his way there, mouthing down Jeongguk's cheek and chin to his throat where he tilts his head and begins to suck at the skin. It's stupid, it's so stupid of them, but then Jeongguk rocks his hips in a simulation that could only be that of fucking and Yoongi is gone for him. He moans as Jeongguk squeezes his ass and he sinks his teeth in harder, enjoying the guttural moan he gets for it.

"I knew it," a voice says, and they freeze, eyes widening. Yoongi slowly retracts his head, turning to see Taehyung standing in the doorway, hands on his hips and glaring at them.

"Shit…" he mumbles.

Jeongguk sheepishly lowers Yoongi to the ground as they struggle to try and right their clothing. Taehyung watches them, eyebrows pinched in that same expression he'd had earlier.

"Hyung," Jeongguk begins, "I can explain."

"So, you're Jeongguk's secret girlfriend," Taehyung speaks over him, his eyes boring into Yoongi's.

"It's not like that," Yoongi says immediately, "And watch your tone, I'm still older than you."

"I'll watch my tone when you watch the love bites," Taehyung replies, "What the hell were you thinking?"

"Listen," Jeongguk says, trying to placate the tension in the room, "I know this might seem like a shock-"

"That Yoongi hyung likes men? No. I've seen his lyric books. That Yoongi hyung likes you…" Taehyung pauses. "That is a surprise."

"He's just helping me to understand myself," Jeongguk begins. Yoongi's heart breaks a little at the reminder that this is all a little experiment, nothing more. "I asked him to do it, he- how did you even get in here?"

"You didn't close the door properly," Taehyung says smarmily, "I could have been anyone, what would you have done then?"

"You're not mad?" Jeongguk asks in a small voice.

"Of course I'm not. Well, only if you get us into trouble again. I wanted to burrow your hair straighteners," Taehyung says, moving into the room to start shovelling through Jeongguk's bag. "Please cool it with the love bites, the show is in two days."

Yoongi's still trying to process. "You're cool with it? You're really not angry?"

"Did you want me to be?" Taehyung turns around and puts on a pouty face. "I can pretend to be if you want."

Yoongi stares at him. "No…no, you're alright."

"Ok, well, goodnight then." Taehyung marches back to the door, the chord of the hair straighteners trailing behind him.

"Hyung," Jeongguk calls to him. Taehyung turns. "You won't…say anything will you?"

Taehyung blinks. "No? Unless you want me to."

"Namjoon and Seokjin hyung know about me," Yoongi points out. "

But not about Kookie-ah?" They shake their heads and Taehyung shrugs. "Well then, your secret is safe with me. Good night. Make sure the door is locked this time."

He shuts the door and Yoongi turns to face Jeongguk, a little breathless. "What the fuck just happened?"

*

When Yoongi's turn with the kite had been up, he gave it back to the teacher and went to the corner by himself. He didn't have many friends; the other children spat and sneered at him. They called him things like gutter rat and trash. He was bouncing a basketball against the wall when the little boy with the kite came over to him, followed by his friends.

"You broke it," the boy said, holding up the kite. The edge had ripped a little.

Yoongi blinked at it. "No, I didn't."

"Yes you did," the boy insists, "You broke it. You should buy me a new one."

"I can't."

"His parents can't afford it," one of the other children pointed out. "Look, Min has holes in his shoes."

Yoongi tucked his dirty sneaker behind his leg. "Shut up," he hissed, and the boy's eyes widened.

"You said a bad word," he said, "I'm telling teacher, and I'm telling her you broke my kite." "

I didn't!" Yoongi shrieked. His heart and stomach had dropped when the boy mentioned telling on him. It was by far and away the worst thing a child could do to you in the playground.

"Gutter rat," the boy spat and Yoongi charged at him, tearing the kite from his hands and pushing the younger boy over. The boy immediately started to cry and Yoongi grabbed the kite, running to one of the trees in the corner of the playground and climbing it.

That's where they found him ten minutes later, clutching the kite and crying.

His mother was called in to pick him up, and at first she was angry, till she saw how inconsolable Yoongi was. She presented him with the same kite she'd made him a few weeks prior, and Yoongi took it this time without complaint; clutched it to his chest as she held him in her arms and rocked him back and forth.

*

Yoongi thinks about that kite sometimes.

The memory of it makes him cringe with embarrassment; the injustice of the boy's comments make him angry. Especially now, when he's lost count of how many drinks he's had, and he's sick to death of English, English, English.

The other boys are gone, lost amongst the swirl of glitz and glamor and American things. Yoongi wants his kite.

Yoongi can see his kite. He can see Jeongguk dancing in the club, at the after party, sticking out amongst a sea of plastic celebrities who might as well be nobody's in Yoongi's eyes. Jeongguk has been drinking again, but they all have, their faces flushed and happy with liquor and the heat radiating from the bodies around them.

Yoongi's watching him, like a voyeur. Jeongguk has caught him staring on several occasions, sending little smirks his way as he rolls his hips to the music. He's sweated off most of his makeup by now; Yoongi can see the bruises he left on Jeongguk's neck peeking through when the light hits him just right.

He watches as a man dances up behind Jeongguk and begins a slow grind against the younger boy. He sees how Jeongguk's eyes slip shut and he rolls his head back to rest against the man's shoulder as hands creep around his waist in a show of possessive intimacy.

Yoongi growls, leaning forwards in his chair and missing the mark. His elbow slips, and he realises just how blurry his vision has become. Taehyung thumps down next to him, and yells something at him. Yoongi can't hear him over the pulsing baseline. He can only stare as the man says something in Jeongguk's ear.

Jeongguk's eyes blink open sleepily and he sees Yoongi glaring, warning him off, before he's nodding his head and turning away from the man to follow in the direction of the bathrooms.

Yoongi's on his feet before he realises he's doing it, lurching off after him. Taehyung calls after him, no doubt tells him to back off, but Yoongi doesn't care.

Jeongguk is his.

Those are his love bites on Jeongguk's neck.

He is damn near ready to cut a bitch.

Chapter Text

Perhaps he can say that he blacked out?

Yeah. Yeah, that’s what he’ll say; if anyone asks him what happened, he’ll say that he blacked out for a moment, surely he’s drunk enough for it.

He looks down at Jeongguk, who’s shoulders are shaking a little, his head resting on Yoongi’s lap in the back of the rented car they’re in, and he looks at his own hand, which is a little swollen and puffy looking around the knuckles.

“Jeongguk-ah-” 

"Fuck you, hyung,” comes the muffled reply, and Jeongguk twists his head so that his mouth is pressed to Yoongi’s covered thigh. “Fuck you…” he mumbles, teeth pressing into the meat of Yoongi’s leg, sharp and punishing.

Let’s back track.

*

“What the fuck just happened?” Yoongi asked.

Jeongguk stared at the now firmly shut door, skin pale except for the blush on his cheeks. “I think we just got caught,” he said.

Yoongi huffed. He wasn’t sure what to do, so he just laughed a little. Jeongguk stared at him and Yoongi straightened up from where he was bent over. “Sorry,” he said, wiping his eyes. “I guess it’s not funny.”

“Do you think he’ll tell anyone?” Jeongguk asked nervously and Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“Come on. How long have you known Taehyung? He won’t say anything. Just don’t let him drink at the after party, you know how sloppy his tongue gets when he’s drunk.”

“I’d rather see how sloppy your tongue could get…”

“What was that?” Yoongi asked and Jeongguk blushed.

“Nothing…”

The mood was pretty much gone. Yoongi couldn’t lie: he was kind of pissed. Jeongguk had had a raw sex charged fury about him; he was going to go full alpha on Yoongi’s ass, which he really wouldn’t have minded.

Now, Jeongguk sheepishly scratched the back of his head. “I suppose we should get washed up. You want to shower first?”

Yoongi accepted his offer. The tiredness was kicking in now, so he didn’t take very long. Jeongguk went straight into the bathroom after him and Yoongi was already in bed and under the covers when he came back out.

His face was bare, eyes standing out dark and bold against his soft features as he put his clothes back into his bag. Yoongi grunted into his pillow. “Are you sharing with me tonight?” he asked.

“Is that ok?”

Yoongi just pulled back the covers in conformation, not bothering to lift his head from where it was mushed against one of the many hotel cushions. He slapped uselessly at the bed next to him until he heard the tell-tale sound of Jeongguk shucking out of his shirt and sleep pants, leaving him in only his briefs. The bed dipped as Jeongguk got comfy. Yoongi waited for him to settle before he slurred, “Is the door locked.”

“Yes.”

“Did you check?”

“…” There was a sigh and the bed dipped again as Jeongguk padded across the room. “It’s locked,” he called out.

“Good boy, now come back to bed.”

Jeongguk climbed in next to him and assumed the position of the big spoon. Yoongi dragged his arm up high around his waist and intertwined their fingers. “You know the managers can get in here,” Jeongguk said quietly. “They have keys.”

“Fuck ‘em,” was the cheerful reply.

“Hyung, what would you do if someone came in and saw us like this?” Jeongguk played with his fingers, rubbed at his knuckles. “Someone that wasn’t Taehyung. Or any of the other guys…Would you tell them the truth?”

“The truth? You can’t handle the truth.”

“Hyung…” Yoongi could hear the twinge of desperation colouring Jeongguk’s tone and he felt bad. He rolled over so that they were facing one another, gazing at Jeongguk. “Seriously, what would you say to them?”

“Well…” Yoongi bit lip. Jeongguk was asking if he’d tell the managers the truth about them in bed together. But what was the truth exactly? Oh, me and the maknae watch porn together and look at each other’s cocks whilst we jerk off. He likes kissing and I like giving him love bites and sometimes we cuddle when naked as well. But we’re not dating, oh no, no, no.

Because that was the truth. Their liaisons were nothing more than an experiment for Jeongguk, and a killing-me-softly encounter for Yoongi. He really was no better than a drug addict now; injecting himself with Jeongguk’s sweet poison that made him feel so good in that moment but left him aching in the early hours afterwards.

It made his chest hurt when he’d stumble awake in the night, having to kick off the blankets because Jeongguk had, at some point, wound himself around Yoongi and was now roasting him with his ridiculous body heat. It was the way Jeongguk would snuffle and push his face into Yoongi’s collar bone, like he couldn’t bare them to not have as much skin-on-skin contact as possible.

His fingers felt numb with the urge to reach out and run a hand through Jeongguk’s hair when they’d been practicing, to thumb the food from the corner of his mouth when they’d been eating, to grab Jeongguk’s hand and kiss his palm when they were sitting quietly in a corner.

And he wasn’t an idiot. No one would believe him if he told them this was in any way casual. Management would have a heart attack; if anyone found them like this, it would be a PR meltdown. Yoongi had tried not to think about what would happen if they were ever discovered so close to each other, lest he send himself into an anxious spiral of doubt and worry.

Jeongguk was still waiting for an answer. He ran a hand up Yoongi’s arm, draping it loosely over his shoulder. His face was open and earnest, innocent and exposed in the soft glow of the room, and Yoongi’s heart thudded with love and heartbreak.

So, he brushed a strand of Jeongguk’s hair out of his eyes and said, “I guess I would tell them the truth.”

“Which is what?” Jeongguk murmured and Yoongi blinked dazedly at the question.

“That I was the one who approached you and wanted to help you. That we’re just experimenting, guys being guys, I guess,” he shrugged after a moment. Jeongguk didn’t say anything for a long while, and then he hummed under his breath as his hand begun to stroke up and down Yoongi’s back.

“Right, yeah,” he said. Yoongi’s eyes lidded as Jeongguk started to incorporate his finger nails, scratching lightly at the skin between Yoongi’s shoulder blades, and then lower, to right down his spine. It was making it hard (no pun intended) for Yoongi to concentrate as he struggled to speak around his sleepy tongue.

“What would you say?” he asked, mouth opening and a soft sound slipping out as Jeongguk’s nails skimmed the waistband of Yoongi’s pants, skirting under the fabric.

Jeongguk shuffled closer to press their foreheads together. Their mouths were so close; Yoongi wanted to kiss him. He refrained, waiting to hear Jeongguk’s reply.

“I’d tell them my truth,” Jeongguk said quietly. Yoongi waited to see if he would elaborate on that further but Jeongguk stayed silent. The scrape of his nails against the base of Yoongi’s spine was slowly turning him on, till he shifted a little and his erection bumped Jeongguk’s hip.

“Ah…”

“You didn’t come earlier,” Jeongguk said and Yoongi shook his head, wincing at a particularly delicious drag of his nails.

“I-it didn’t matter,” he mumbled, “I wanted you to feel good.”

“Can I make you feel good?” Jeongguk asked and Yoongi nodded, dizzy. Jeongguk shifted closer, wrapping himself around Yoongi. He wedged their legs together, so that one of Yoongi’s was situated between Jeongguk’s, his dick against Jeongguk’s hip. “Rock against me,” Jeongguk said, his voice hot against Yoongi’s earlobe.

Yoongi was unsure for a moment, and so Jeongguk prompted him by putting his hand on Yoongi’s hips and directing his body in a slow roll. Yoongi’s mouth dropped open and he gasped. “Oh…”

“That’s it…” Jeongguk rocked with him till Yoongi’s brain got with the program, and then he was grinding against Jeongguk’s hip all by himself, humping as he listened to Jeongguk’s breathing grow heavier. “You feel so good against me,” Jeongguk murmured and Yoongi’s eyes closed as he sought out Jeongguk’s mouth, kissing him slow and lazy and enjoying the soft smacking sound of their lips.

Jeongguk moved again so that he was on top of Yoongi, holding his hips in place and grinding down against him; Yoongi moaned softly and kissed him again. They moved against each other in a slow sensual dance. Yoongi could feel Jeongguk’s dick against his hip, hard and hot, and his stomach dropped in warning. He pulled away, as Jeongguk began to pepper kisses across his neck.

“I’m gonna come…” he warned. Jeongguk kissed across his shoulder.

“So do it.”

“Not in my clothes, I’ve already showered.”

“Then what’s the solution?” Jeongguk rose up on his elbows, but he was still rocking his hips and Yoongi groaned.

“Let me up, I’m going to go to the bathroom.”

“Hyung…” Jeongguk moaned. Yoongi petted his hair till the motion of Jeongguk’s hips stopped and the boy huffed, shuffling off of Yoongi and collapsing on his back. His briefs were tight and low on the points of his hip bones, a darker wet patch highlighting the head of his cock. “You’re killing me,” he mumbled, throwing an arm over his eyes and then shoving his hair away from his face.

Yoongi knew; he was killing himself as well. It took everything in his will power to drag himself out of the bed and into the bathroom to shove his pants down his hips. He hissed as he wrapped his hand around himself, stroking himself to the memory of Jeongguk rocking against him.

He left the door open, and could hear Jeongguk moaning as he jerked himself off in the bed. He came into some toilet paper and gave himself a quick clean up, washing his hands and heading back into the bedroom.

Jeongguk had shucked of his boxers. Yoongi could smell him, and he swallowed thickly as he climbed back into the bed. Jeongguk automatically curled around him, head pillowing on his chest.

“You should have done it here.”

“Goodnight, Jeongguk.”

“Good night, hyung.” He was quiet for a while. “You’re gonna be a great boyfriend one day,” Jeongguk said after a few moments. He sounded half asleep.

Yoongi nearly sat up. “What?”

“Nothing…you’ll make someone happy. I mean, you make me happy, so I’d know…Even when you stop me right as I’m about to come so you can be clean.”

Yoongi hugged him tighter, smiling fondly in the dark. “I’m glad.”

They stayed wrapped up together for the whole night. When Yoongi woke up the next morning, Jeongguk was still dead to the world beside him. Yoongi carefully extracted himself from Jeongguk’s arms and made his way over to the hotel balcony.

He parked his ass in one of the deck chairs and lit a cigarette, flicking his lighter on and off as he smoked and thought about the fan of Jeongguk’s eyelashes against his cheek as he slept, the slack softness of his mouth and the curl of his hair. Inevitably, he ended up thinking about all of this and more, getting so lost in his head that he didn’t hear Jeongguk coming out to join him.

“You’re smoking again?” Jeongguk asked. Yoongi jumped, nearly dropping the almost finished cigarette.

“N-no,” he spluttered, “I mean, I- it’s just this once.”

Jeongguk folded his arms across his bare chest. He’d put some pants on, but Yoongi’s eyes were still drawn to the definition of his abs. “How come?” Jeongguk asked and Yoongi blinked. “You only smoke when you’re drunk or anxious,” he pointed out and Yoongi sighed.

He stubbed out the cigarette, knowing Jeongguk wasn’t keen on smoking, and held out a hand. Jeongguk took it and came forwards, standing in between Yoongi’s parted legs.

“I’m worried about the show tomorrow,” Yoongi said; it was only half true. Pre-show anxiety wasn’t a shock to Yoongi, or any of them, for that matter. But the urge to give himself entirely to Jeongguk; to rip open his chest and bare his soul to the boy, and knowing he might reject him still, was all starting to take its toll on Yoongi’s psyche.

“You’re going to be great,” Jeongguk said with confidence. He ran his hands through Yoongi’s hair, who rested his head against Jeongguk’s bare stomach. “We’re going to be great.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.” Jeongguk’s petting stopped for a moment as he tilted Yoongi’s head up to look at him with a finger under his chin. “You’re going to kill it, hyung. You always do.”

Yoongi groaned softly and thumped his head against Jeongguk’s belly. When he spoke, his lips were mashed against the firm heat of Jeongguk’s skin. “What did I do to deserve you, maknae?” he asked.

Jeongguk shuddered, his hands winding back into Yoongi’s hair. “You can thank me, if you like,” he said.

“Brat,” Yoongi snorted. “What did you have in mind?”

Jeongguk hesitated for a moment, and then he swallowed. Yoongi looked up at him and the younger man bit his lip. “Well, seeing as you can’t give me hickeys on my neck anymore…” A crying shame, in Yoongi’s opinion. “Maybe you could leave them somewhere else?”

It took a moment for the implication to sink in. “You mean…?”

Jeongguk nodded. Yoongi decided to take a risk, and kissed Jeongguk’s hip softly. It was only a peck, but Jeongguk still stiffened.

“Like that?” Yoongi asked softly and he nodded so Yoongi did it again, longer this time.

“Yes, like that…” Jeongguk shivered. Yoongi didn’t need to be told twice. He kissed the expanse of tanned skin between Jeongguk’s abs and his hip bone, puckering his lips and sucking. Jeongguk tensed and bucked, stomach juddering as he struggled to control how he trembled with sensitivity.

Yoongi suckled at the skin, using his teeth, and when he pulled away Jeongguk was sporting a rather red mark on his hip. It looked like a cross between a bruise and a birthmark, and it sent a thrill pulsing through Yoongi at the possessive feeling he got when he saw it staining Jeongguk’s skin.

“Hyung…” Jeongguk whined and Yoongi sat back to take in the bugle of Jeongguk’s erection tenting his pants. He unconsciously licked his lips at the thought of tasting it and Jeongguk sobbed a little.

The noise startled Yoongi out of his daze and he cleared his throat. He had to stop this, now. “There you are, brat,” he repeated the nickname fondly, voice thick. “You got your thanks.”

“Hyung, please…”

Someone knocked on their door then, and Yoongi thought of an English expression he’d heard Namjoon say before; saved by the bell. He was almost relieved, because he didn’t think he had enough will power left on his own to not pull down Jeongguk’s pants and suck him off right there on the balcony.

“For fuck’s sake…” Jeongguk groaned and sulked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Yoongi rubbed his eyes hard and took a second to compose himself before he got up and headed back into the bedroom. Someone knocked on the door again and Yoongi opened it with a little too much force. Taehyung was waiting on the other side; he looked surprised to see Yoongi.

“I didn’t think you’d be up.” Yoongi cringed at the double entendre. Taehyung raised an eyebrow at him. “…Is everything ok?” he asked. Yoongi’s mouth gaped like a fish as he struggled to find what he wanted to say.

The bathroom door slammed again and Yoongi jumped, turning around to see Jeongguk shrugging on his shirt, face washed and flushed in a way that Yoongi knew he’d just got done jerking off. He caught sight of the love bite on Jeongguk’s hip before it disappeared behind the swampy fabric of his shirt and he gulped.

“Jeongguk-ah,” Taehyung begun. Jeongguk didn’t look at him as he shoved his feet into his shoes and shouldered past them.

“I’ll see you both at breakfast,” the youngest boy mumbled. No matter how pissed he was, his age meant he couldn’t get away with being truly disrespectful and sulky.

Taehyung watched his retreating figure as Jeongguk disappeared down the hallway and turned back to Yoongi. “Can I come in for a bit?” he asked and Yoongi nodded wordlessly.

He collapsed back onto his bed, groaning and dragging the blanket over him.

“I actually came to tell you that they wanted us for breakfast, but I think you might need me here more.” Taehyung’s voice filtered through the muffle of the duvet over his ears. Yoongi poked his head out, so only the top of his hair could be seen. “Do you want to talk about it?” Taehyung asked gently.

“No,” Yoongi said, hating the way his voice bled into a whine. Then he groaned again. “I really like him, Tae…”

Taehyung was reorganising their skincare products into alphabetical order. “When did all this start?” he asked absentmindedly.

“We started…doing stuff together a couple of months ago. He was confused and felt isolated.”

“So you started to sleep with him?”

“I haven’t slept with him!” Yoongi sat up, scandalised and Taehyung ah-ed in understanding. “We’d jerk off together,” Yoongi admitted. “He found out I was bi, and then he said he thought he might be to, and he asked me to help him, so I did. I-I didn’t mean for things to go this far,” he whispered. “The love bites and stuff, I didn’t want it to get so out of control…”

“So why did it?”

“…”

“You’ve fallen for him, haven’t you?” Taehyung said, taking a seat beside him on the bed. After a moment, Yoongi nodded. “Hyung, have you thought of telling him that?”

“I can’t,” Yoongi said, “He wouldn’t understand, he doesn’t- it’s not for him what it is for me, right? So I can’t just say, oh, Kook-ah, I think I want us to be more.”

“You just said it to me,” Taehyung pointed out and Yoongi sighed.

“It’s not the same.”

“No, I know. But you shouldn’t keep this in. It can make you really ill, hyung, when you hold things in and don’t let them go. And I think Jeongguk-ah might feel the same.”

“Oh?”

“He talks to me, you know.” Taehyung chewed his nails thoughtfully. It was a terrible habit of his that the company had been trying to break for years. “He was telling me about how he feels so happy and sad at the same time. He’s happy because he has everything he could want, but he’s sad because he feels like he wants more.”

The words made Yoongi’s chest ache. “He said that?”

“Yeah.” Taehyung released his nail. “I don’t know if he was talking in the context of your relationship, but I think you should talk to him and clear this up. It’s making you both really grumpy.”

From under his blanket fortress, Yoongi bit his lip and sighed. He thought about if the roles were reversed, and Taehyung was talking to him about a secret crush or unsure relationship. His advice would be exactly the same.

“Ok,” he agreed, throwing back the blanket. Taehyung beamed at him. “I’ll talk to him.”

“Great.” Taehyung squeezed his arm. “You can always talk to us as well, you know. I don’t like it when you get lost in your head.”

“Nor I, you,” Yoongi replied, sitting up and wrapping Taehyung in a hug. “Thanks, kid,” he mumbled as Taehyung wound his arms around him and cuddled him back.

They got a text from Jimin then that Seokjin was threatening to come up and fetch them, and so they frogmarched down to where everyone was having breakfast.

Yoongi slid in besides Jeongguk, rested a hand on the small of his back. “I need to talk to you later,” he said in Jeongguk’s ear, just loud enough so that only Jeongguk would hear him. Jeongguk paused mid bite and then swallowed.

“Ok,” he said simply, turning back to his food and Yoongi sagged at how easy that had been to arrange. He filled his plate and begun to eat, safe in the knowledge that he might finally get a bit of clarity.

The execution of the much-needed conversation, however, was a lot easier said than done. Pre-show days were always manic, and it seemed that this one was no different. Yoongi could barely find time to get away to the bathroom to pee, let alone sitting down with Jeongguk and having an Adult Conversation.

They had rehearsals and body care and more rehearsals and more body care and then schedules and final, final fittings for their outfits. Then it was lunch, which they had to eat all huddled together in the back of a room. Then it was a dress rehearsal, followed by a mad panic when Hobi split the seam of his pants.

By the time they’d got back to the hotel, Yoongi was nearly asleep on his feet. Jeongguk took his wrist and pulled him towards their bedroom.

“Hey, where are you going?” Seokjin called out. “We’re having a band meeting in mine and Joon’s room.”

Jeongguk groaned under his breath but Yoongi grabbed his hand and lead him to the bedroom. “It can wait,” he said calmly.

In Namjoon and Seokjin’s room, they congregated on the beds. Jimin looked around nervously and then produced three packets of kettle chips that he’d had stored under his jumper. Hoseok (don’t ask him how) had managed to smuggle in some bottles of Pepsi, and Namjoon had some candy left over.

It was a nice ritual they had; the night before a big show, they would get together and pig out in secret (with what little supplies they could gather together) reminiscing and mentally encouraging one another for the show the next day.

“I’m nervous…” Taehyung said as they passed around a packet of gummy worms.

“Me too,” Hoseok muttered and the others attested their agreement.

“Guys, no matter what happens tomorrow, you should all be extremely proud of yourselves. You’ve worked really hard, and I couldn’t be prouder of you,” Namjoon said. Jimin wrapped an arm around him.

“We couldn’t do it without you, Joonie-hyung,” he said and Jeongguk nodded.

“How would we get through our English interviews without you?” he said, as they snorted and shoved him.

Yoongi bit back his grin. Jeongguk suddenly caught his eye and it had Yoongi’s throat catching. The sugary sweets in his mouth suddenly tasted bad, the bubbles in his stomach felt like they were bursting up his throat, like a volcano ready to erupt and he opened his mouth, unsure of what was going to come out.

“I’m bisexual.”

Oh…That apparently.

Silence fell over the room as everyone turned to stare at him. Awkwardly, Yoongi scratched the back of his head. He slowly lifted his head and looked at each of the members in turn. “I just wanted you guys to know,” he said quietly.

Jeongguk was staring at him, eyes bright and unblinking.

Namjoon blew out a breath. “Well done, hyung,” he said quietly.

A pair of arms wound around his waist from behind; it was Jimin, giving him a hug. Hoseok was nodding his head. “I won’t pretend to understand,” he admitted and Yoongi’s heart thudded in worry. “But I’m cool with it,” Hoseok continued. “I kind of thought you might be anyway.”

Yoongi melted a little in Jimin’s embrace. Taehyung shuffled over and cuddled up to him as well, squashing an unopened bag of kettle chips under his knees as he did so.

Jeongguk didn’t say anything, but he was biting his lip in thought. Then he nodded at Yoongi, lips quirking in a small smile, as he reached for the crushed kettle chips.

“Do you think anyone famous will talk to us tomorrow?” Taehyung asked suddenly, and the cheerful atmosphere from before bled slowly back into the room. Jimin rubbed his arm soothingly and Seokjin pinched his cheek, and Yoongi basked in the love and affection he felt for his boys.

He felt a sense of relief wash over his entire being, like his soul had just grown fifty pounds lighter. He laughed along with the other boys, and didn’t laugh at Seokjin’s stupid jokes, and he let them feed him candy’s and fizzy drinks.

After a while, Jimin and Taehyung let him go, and it wasn’t long before Jeongguk was sliding casually into place behind him, one strong arm hooking around Yoongi’s middle and pulling him back against Jeongguk’s broad chest. He melted a little into the other boy’s body warmth, eyelids drooping despite himself.

Yoongi awoke later to a rocking sensation. He realized he was being carried and he wriggled. “Jeongguk-ah?” he coughed, voice sticky where he’d been asleep.

“Relax, hyung; I’m putting you to bed,” Jeongguk said quietly. He eased the door to their room open and set Yoongi down on the bed, who was grumbling in his tiredness.

“Did you really carry me all the way back here?” he demanded as Jeongguk pulled of his shoes.

“Would you have walked?” Jeongguk retorted. “Go to sleep, hyung. It’s been a busy day. We can relax again after tomorrow.”

Yoongi snuggled into his pillow. “Fuck, I wanted to talk to you-” he began, but Jeongguk was already hushing him with a pet to his forehead.

“It can wait,” he said quietly, “Whatever it is, we’ve waited this long.”

Yoongi’s eyes were already shut and he was out like a light.

*

The next day was indeed manic.

Yoongi was nervous. He didn’t speak to anyone the whole day; he just sat quietly in his makeup chair and let the artists do their work. There was a similar anxious feeling about the room, built on adrenaline and pre-show worry. Even Hoseok, the life and soul of the room, was quiet in his makeup chair.

One of their noona’s was scolding Jeongguk about his neck again, as she carefully applied colour correction to it. Yoongi could pick out snippets of their conversation; the noona wanted to know who the lucky girl was Jeongguk had been seeing.

“It’s no one, noona, really,” Jeongguk said as she patted his face with a makeup sponge.

“She must be someone if you’re letting her mark you up like this,” she replied, gesturing to Jeongguk’s now freshly covered neck.

“There’s no one, noona, I promise.”

Yoongi couldn’t look at him. He felt sick, and not with nerves anymore. He was just upset.

He wanted to smoke, but that really would be taking the piss. Instead, he ran through all the English phrases he knew, encase someone directed a question to him. All the time, he tried not to sneak glances at where Jeongguk sat, looking flawless and pristine, with his hair and makeup done, ready in his suit for when they had to walk on the carpet.

He wondered if anyone had noticed the love bite on Jeongguk’s hip; if their noona had had to place any last-minute makeup touches to cover it or if it would be there for all the world to see. Jeongguk’s shirts had a habit of (not so accidently) flying up during their performances, teasing their fans with tantalizing shots of things they could only dream about.

Then they were being ushered into discreet black cars, given thumbs up’s and pasts on the back. There was nothing more anyone could do now, it was show time.

Interview questions went mainly to Namjoon, to everyone’s relief, and Yoongi stood in the background and stroked Taehyung’s back in sympathy at how nervous the younger boy seemed. Jeongguk stood away from him, watching Namjoon intently, trying to follow what he was saying no doubt. Jeongguk’s English had improved immensely; Yoongi wished he had his dedication to understanding it.

Half an hour into the awards, and he already had a migraine. People kept coming up to them and speaking to them in English, which was fine for the first sentence and then Yoongi was lost. If only they would speak slower. It was worse when Namjoon had to run to the bathroom. Seokjin was appalling at English, and as the second eldest, conversation seemed to fall to Yoongi.

There was lots of awkward head bowing and hand clapping, and then Namjoon came back, nearly tripping over Jimin’s feet in order to get back to his seat. The ridiculousness of it reassured Yoongi, letting him slump in his seat and pray he wasn’t sweating.

They won an award.

Yoongi didn’t remember much of that; just that there was lots of crying and hugging and more crying and more hugging. He felt like he was walking in a dream, as they were ushered backstage with little time to collect themselves; they had to perform.

They changed their costumes and had their makeup touched up, because no one wanted puffy red eyes when performing. Namjoon gathered them together. “We get this done, we’ve done it,” he told them firmly, confidently. “We’ll be on top of the world.”

Yoongi was fiddling with his inner ear-piece when someone tapped his arm. “Hyung!” It was Jeongguk. “I have to tell you something, something important.”

“What is it?” Yoongi asked, and Jeongguk opened his mouth but the lights were going down and Yoongi could barely hear his own thoughts over the roar of the crowd. Jeongguk’s mouth moved and Yoongi squinted, strained to hear him. “I can’t hear you, say it again?”

Jeongguk reached forwards and grabbed him, pulling him close. “I said I l-”

“Go, go!” Seokjin was hissing and shoving them in their backs. “We can chat later, that’s our que!”

Yoongi bolted into his position as the music started and the lights came up. He couldn’t think about what Jeongguk said now; he put his body and soul into the beat, the performance now the most important thing. It was their job, after all.

*

They fucking slayed the performance.

Yoongi always wonders what he gets so worried about afterwards, but it still doesn’t stop the pre-show anxiety kicking in every time.

With the ceremony done, they were allowed to quickly clean up and change, and then it was off to the after party. Yoongi wanted to go back to the hotel, but he’d missed the last couple of after parties. Jimin was practically begging him to come and have a drink with him, eyes large and puppy dog-like, and Yoongi had always been a sucker for Jimin and his whining.

They entered the club and Yoongi was terrified. They stuck together in their own booth, out of the way and talking to one another in Korean. Every so often, someone would come up to them, congratulating them or just wanting a chat. It was fine when Namjoon spoke to them, but usually people wanted to address them as a group. If Yoongi had struggled to understand before, he had no hope now.

The constant straining to understand was giving him a headache, and he really just wanted to get into bed and pass out. Jimin pushed a drink in his direction, miming to him to drain it in one. Yoongi wasn’t going to pass up on that request.

Almost as soon as they had sat down, Seokjin had ordered them several rounds of drink, and Yoongi was ready to slam his back like it was water. They did shots at one point. Things got a bit messy after that.

It didn’t take long for the other boys to start wondering. Seokjin seemed to have convinced himself that he was a fluent English speaker; he was trying to chat up women at the bar. When he eventually realised they couldn’t understand him, he pulled Namjoon away to have him act as a translator.

Jimin and Hoseok were apparently trying to drink their body weight in booze, embarking in a strange drinking game that didn’t appear to have any actual rules. From what Yoongi could see, Hobi was trying to match Jimin drink for drink, annoyed that the younger boy could drink more than him.

“You’ll make yourself sick,” Yoongi had pointed out when Hoseok reached for his seventh shot. Hoseok batted him away clumsily.

“Shut it, hyung, my crown’s at stake,” he slurred.

“What crown? What are you talking about?” Yoongi demanded but Jimin was grabbing Hoseok’s arm and insisting he pay attention to him.

Yoongi sighed and reached for his drink. Jeongguk stumbled over and plopped down beside him. “Come and dance with me,” he yelled in Yoongi’s ear, straining to be heard over the thrumming base music. Yoongi blinked at him, looking lost, so Jeongguk put both hands on his shoulders and leaned in closer. “I want to dance with you,” he said.

Yoongi was already shaking his head. “I’m good here, thanks.”

“Yoongi hyung…” he whined, shaking his arm. “I want to dance with you, please?” And then he slid onto Yoongi’s lap, right there in front of everyone.

“Kook, get off.”

“How about I get you off?” Jeongguk asked, leaning down and biting Yoongi’s earlobe, quick and harsh.

“Someone will see, I’m asking you to get off me,” Yoongi insisted and when Jeongguk didn’t listen, Yoongi summoned all of his will power and shoved him away. He was drunker than he thought, because he didn’t push as hard as he could of, but Jeongguk had been drinking as well and he landed on the floor, looking hurt and indignant.

“Why are you being like this?” he demanded. “Didn’t you hear what I said earlier?”

“Jeongguk, I don’t want to dance with you,” Yoongi said, pointedly reaching for another drink.

“That’s not what I meant.”

Yoongi struggled to hear him. “Look, I’ll dance with you later, yes?”

Jeongguk scowled at him. He swiped Yoongi’s drink straight from his hand and downed it in one go. “Don’t fucking bother,” he sneered.

“Jeongguk.” Yoongi felt like an exasperated parent dealing with a sulky teenager.

Taehyung bounded over. He’d been drinking a little bit as well but had switched to diet coke a while ago. He looked distinctly soberer than everyone else in Yoongi’s presence, and he was beaming, big and happy. His smile faded a little at the sight of Jeongguk glaring at Yoongi like he’d kicked his favourite puppy, and Yoongi’s tired expression.

“Is everything ok?” he asked as Jeongguk stalked up to him. “Hyung, are you coming to dance with u-”

“No, he’s not,” Jeongguk snapped, grabbing Taehyung’s arm and pulling him in the direction of the overcrowded dance floor. Yoongi sat back in his chair, huffing and rubbing his eyes.

He felt like a boyfriend who’d done something wrong and didn’t know what. All he’d said was that he didn’t want to dance with him at the moment. Was that so bad?

“You’re in trouble,” Jimin sang from beside him. Yoongi jumped; he’d forgotten he and Hoseok were there.

“What?” he asked. “Kookie is mad at youuuu,” Jimin said, pouting and poking Yoongi drunkenly in the nose. Yoongi peeped around him to see Hoseok resting back against the chair, eyes closed.

“Is he ok?” Yoongi asked.

“He’s a sore loser, he’s sleeping it off,” Jimin waved him away. He hiccupped. “I said no one can beat me at drinking, he didn’t listen.”

“I’m going to get some water.” Yoongi rose to his feet, swaying a little. He took a second to gather himself and then made his way over to the bar. It took a couple of tries for him to get his order across to the bartender; apparently, they had a bit of trouble with his accent.

Yoongi sat back down with Jimin and Hoseok, who were cuddling in the booth now. Hoseok had reached the depressive level of drunk where he looked like he was questioning all of his life choices up until that moment. Yoongi felt placated after Jeongguk’s frostiness earlier, relieved to have the role of babysitter for once, as it gave him something else to think about.

He looked up as he sipped his own water and caught sight of Jeongguk dancing. He looked so happy and alive, standing out amongst the bodies on the dance floor like a beacon in the dark. He rolled and twisted his body in time with the music, and Yoongi thought about how he could be doing that on him and he took a big swallow of water. Jeongguk saw him looking and smirked. It wasn’t a nice smirk, it was a look at what you’re missing out on, hyung kind of look. Yoongi gulped more water.

“I really thought I could do it,” Hoseok was saying as Jimin nodded solemnly and stroked his hair.

“I know, hyung, but we all know that you can’t handle booze.”

“I’ll beat you later, we’ll go again.”

“Sure thing, hyung. Let’s dance.”

Yoongi grabbed them both by the collars and held them back. “Water first, dance later,” he insisted.

As he was supervising the other two boys (in a way one supervises a toddler with a sippy cup), Taehyung came back over. “You should go and dance with him,” he said to Yoongi, nodding towards Jeongguk. “His feelings are really hurt, hyung.”

“Because I said I didn’t want to dance?” Yoongi demanded. Taehyung looked confused. “No, because of what he said earlier. He thinks you don’t care about him.”

“What he said when?” Yoongi strained his mind back, eyes scanning the crowd when he realised he’d lost track of Jeongguk again.

“Before we went on stage…” Taehyung paused. “You did hear him, right, hyung?”

Yoongi hadn’t heard him then. And he was struggling to hear Taehyung now, because a man was dancing with Jeongguk. A man was touching Jeongguk and he was nosing at the marks Yoongi left on Jeongguk’s neck as he spoke into Jeongguk’s ear, and Jeongguk was looking straight at Yoongi as he  did it with that same smirk from earlier.

“Hyung, did you hear me?”

“What?” Yoongi was already rising to his feet as he watched Jeongguk start to stumble away with the man.

“I said he told you he-” Yoongi was already moving away from the table. “Hyung?” Taehyung called to him. “Where are you going?”

“I’ll be right back,” Yoongi said.

He thought Taehyung said something else, but he couldn’t hear him as he stumbled down the steps towards the overcrowded dance floor. The heat that radiated from everyone’s bodies was indescribable; Yoongi shoved his way in, fully prepared to use elbows, as bodies bumped and grinded around him.

He could hear people protesting a bit when he pushed against them, resisting their advances to draw  him into swaying along with them, but he was on a mission. He looked like a man possessed no doubt.

Breaking out of the bodies, Yoongi rushed to the bathroom. It was empty when he entered, and Yoongi glanced at the toilet doors till he spotted one of the far end, which was shut.

Ducking onto his knees, Yoongi peeped under the stall; he nearly lost his balance and had to right himself again, but he was functioning enough to make out Jeongguk’s shoes, trapped in between someone else’s.

Straightening up, Yoongi pounded on the door with the flat of his hand.

“What?” he heard a voice from inside yell in an angry American drawl. Yoongi ignored it and kept on pounding. “Jesus Christ, hang on!”

There was the sound of a belt buckle being fiddled with, and Yoongi saw red. The stall door swung open as a man stuck his head out and Yoongi was grabbing him by the collar of his suit, pulling him out and slamming him against the bathroom wall.

“Don’t fucking touch him!” he growled in English at the man, who looked terrified. Yoongi was so angry, he was shaking. The man had forgotten to do up his fly, his shirt untucked and hair a mess. “You touch him again, I’ll fucking kill you, you understand?” Yoongi had switched back to Korean. He shoved the man again, getting in his face. The man was taller than him, but right now Yoongi commanded his attention, a fury to be reckoned with. “You think you can touch him? You think you deserve to touch him? Piece of shit!” he spat, language jumping back and forth. In a fit of anger, he slammed his knuckles into the wall besides the man’s face, who whimpered in fear.

“Don’t hit me, man, I didn’t do anything-”

“Hyung, let go of him.” Yoongi turned his head. Jeongguk was watching, one arm tucked under his armpit and the other pressed against his mouth. His eyes looked wide and shocked, but all Yoongi could see was the blooming red mark on Jeongguk’s neck, the number of buttons undone on his shirt, the way his dress pants sat low on his hips.

“You let him kiss you?” he asked shakily.

“Hyung-”

“What the fuck, Jeongguk?!” Yoongi let the man go, who stumbled away, trying to right his appearance.

“Fucking freaks,” he spat as he went.

“Fuck you!” Yoongi hissed as Jeongguk turned on the man as well.

“What you say?” he yelled after him, “Get out!”

The man left, yelling something about Sue, Sue. Yoongi didn’t have time to worry about who ‘Sue’ was, because he was already grabbing Jeongguk by the arm and pushing him back against the wall. It was nowhere near as roughly as he’d done it with the man, but Jeongguk still recoiled like he’d been burned.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Yoongi spat, “How could you be so careless? What if someone had seen you?”

“No one saw me, no one sees anything here, it’s fucking Hollywood, hyung!” Jeongguk shouted back in his face, trying to stalk past him but Yoongi grabbed him and pulled him back. “Get off me!”

“Stop acting like a brat! What were you thinking, letting him touch you?”

“At least someone would.” Jeongguk shrunk in on himself then. “Let go of me, you’re being a psycho.”

Yoongi backed up but was no less angry. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, at least someone would? Answer me!”

“I- fucking said it to you today! I told you, I said it and you- you just-” Jeongguk could barely speak. To Yoongi’s horror, he looked like he was about to start crying. “You didn’t do anything! Just did the show like it was nothing.”

“I didn’t hear you, it was too loud-”

“Fucking bullshit, hyung, I- fuck!” Jeongguk swayed suddenly, and Yoongi caught him as he stumbled.

“How much have you had to drink?” Yoongi asked him quietly, sternly, as Jeongguk shoved him away and then spat in the sink.

“Not that much, I’m fine,” he snapped, but his eyes wouldn’t focus. Yoongi glared at him.

“I’m taking you back to the hotel.”

“Like hell you are.”

“Don’t be disrespectful.” Yoongi’s tone was angry and conveyed little patience. “Seriously, Jeongguk, I’m so angry at you right now, don’t test me.”

“You’re as drunk as I am,” Jeongguk sneered as Yoongi gathered him up and guided him in the direction of the bathroom door.

“Not so drunk that I’m going off with random men,” Yoongi retorts, hitching Jeongguk roughy against him.

“Maybe if you’d just come with me when I asked, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Yoongi ignored him then. Taehyung drifted over, looking concerned. “I’m taking him back to the hotel,” Yoongi explained. “We’ll take one of the cars and I’ll catch up with you tomorrow?”

“Sure, sounds good.” Taehyung frowned at them. “You ok, Jeongguk-ah?”

“Yoongi hyung cock blocked me,” Jeongguk said unhappily.

“He’s fine, he just needs to sleep it off.”

“I’ll get you a car,” Taehyung said quickly, darting off as Yoongi tried to coordinate getting Jeongguk out of the door.

One of their security stepped forwards as Yoongi stumbled outside, pulling a squirming Jeongguk behind him. “Get off me, hyungggggg,” Jeongguk was insisting, flapping his arms.

“Do you want me to carry him?” their security guard asked but Yoongi shook his head.

“He can walk, he’s doing it on purpose.”

The car pulled up and Yoongi clambered inside, manoeuvring Jeongguk in and setting him down, strapping him in. It took him a couple of tries to fit the seatbelt in its lock, especially because Jeongguk kept wriggling and Yoongi was still seeing double, but he eventually managed and sat back in his seat, feeling incredibly tired as the car pulled out.

They sat in silence as the car rumbled down the road. Yoongi only realised now just how much his hand was hurting. He looked down at his knuckles and saw they were puffy and bruised.

Fuck, did he do that? Oh god, he’d punched a wall, hadn’t he? Then he thought about the man in the bathroom, who’d been touching Jeongguk and yelling about Sue, and, crap, sue wasn’t a woman…sue was bad, sue was very bad.

Beside him, Jeongguk hiccupped, and Yoongi snapped out of his own head.

“Are you going to be sick?” he asked.

Jeongguk didn’t reply. He hiccupped again and folded his arms across his chest. “…No,” he said sulkily.

Yoongi closed his eyes, rubbing them with his good hand. How had such a good night for them turned into such a mess so quickly?

He was content with the silence, but apparently Jeongguk couldn’t let things slide, because he said, “You shouldn’t have yelled at that guy.”

Yoongi’s fist clenched. “He was touching you,” he said through gritted teeth.

“So? Lots of people touch me.”

Yoongi sniffed. “You know that’s not what I mean. You let him take you to the bathroom and mark you up. You were going to have sex with him.”

“Of course I wasn’t,” Jeongguk snapped. “What do you think I am?”

“I don’t know, Jeongguk, what are you?” “What the fuck is your problem?” Jeongguk demanded. He was shouting, twisting in his seat. Yoongi was glad the partition was up so the driver wouldn’t have to hear this. He patiently wet his lips.

“Don’t be-”

“Disrespectful, I know. Do you even know what you did to me today? You made me feel like such a fool.”

“Jeongguk, it was one dance-”

“It’s not the dancing, I don’t give a shit about that. If you don’t know what you did wrong by now, you’re never going to.”

“But I don’t,” Yoongi said truthfully.

“Whatever,” Jeongguk murmured. He folded his arms across his chest, swaying slightly.

“You look like you’re about to pass out,” Yoongi muttered. “Come here.”

“Go away!”

“We’re in a moving car, brat, I can’t go anywhere,” Yoongi snapped and patted his thigh. “Rest your head here, before you collapse.” Jeongguk grumbled under his breath. “Jeongguk.”

Sulking, Jeongguk slumped onto his side and laid his head on Yoongi’s lap. He breathed out shakily through his mouth, eyes drooping shut and shoulders twitching.

Yoongi flexed his bruised hand. “Jeongguk-ah-”

“Fuck you, hyung…” There was the press of teeth in his thigh. “Fuck you.”

And now that we’re all caught up...

*

The car pulls up discreetly at the hotel. Yoongi shakes Jeongguk awake where he’s fallen asleep against his thigh. He’s not even angry anymore, just upset.

“We’re back,” he says quietly. Jeongguk bumbles awake, scratching at his sleepy eyes.

“The room’s spinning,” he mumbles.

“I’m not surprised, you’ve drunk a lot. Let’s go inside, you can rest when we get in.”

“I’m still mad at you,” Jeongguk says as they clamber out of the car and are ushered in by security, assisted occasionally when one of them trips over their own feet.

“Good, because I’m mad at you.” Yoongi grabs him by the arm and hauls him into the elevator, his earlier anger reigniting. They’re completely alone. “I can't believe you.” He indicates to the bruises on Jeongguk's neck.

Jeongguk touches his throat. “Do you like them?” he sneers and Yoongi kind-of-really-wants to hit him.

“I can’t believe you let him do that to you,” he grits instead.

“I let you give me love bites. What are you trying to imply, hyung?” Yoongi glares at him and Jeongguk sighs, resting his head against the wall and closing his eyes. “It’s quite simple. I was hurt, and he was horny. I think it sounds rather perfect, actually.”

“You’re such a brat,” Yoongi growls and Jeongguk scowls at him.

“And you’re a dick. You broke me today, hyung.”

“Because I wouldn’t dance with you?”

“Because I told you today before we went on stage that I loved you!” The elevator pings to a stop, the doors sliding open. Jeongguk stalks out, stumbling a bit on the carpet, and it’s only when the elevator doors start to close that Yoongi springs into action, hurrying out after Jeongguk.

“Wait, what?” he demands, grabbing Jeongguk by the arm and pulling him back. Jeongguk smacks him, hard.

“Let go.”

“You can’t just say shit like that and then walk away from me.”

“Watch me,” Jeongguk spits viciously, wrenching his arm away and then stalking off in the direction of their room.

“I’ve got the room key, idiot,” Yoongi points out as Jeongguk starts to frantically rock the door handle, like he can open it with sheer force of will if he just tries hard enough. “Jeongguk,” Yoongi crowds up behind him, just as Jeongguk spins around to get his hands on Yoongi’s collar. “Push me again, I swear to g-”

And suddenly Yoongi isn’t being pushed, but pulled, and Jeongguk is kissing him with all the finesse of a 40-year-old virgin who’s never known the touch of another, and Yoongi still melts into it like it’s the best kiss he’s ever had.

His hands slide down the door and perch on Jeongguk’s trim waist as he gets a leg in between Jeongguk’s, taking over the kiss and directing it to be a slower, more controlled rubbing of tongues and lips and lovely little gasps.

“You fucking drive me insane,” he growls, biting on Jeongguk’s jaw line, and Jeongguk gasps, grinds down onto Yoongi’s leg.

“You’ve been driving me insane every night,” Jeongguk replies, moaning softly when Yoongi tacks on to his neck. “You always make yourself so damn untouchable.”

“I’m older, I need to be responsible,” Yoongi gasps as Jeongguk rocks against him. Or someone might get hurt.

“Fuck being responsible. For once, let’s have some fun,” Jeongguk begs. He turns around and presses back against Yoongi, letting him feel all of him against his front. “Come on, hyung. Let’s have angry sex on every surface in the hotel room; it’s better late than never. We can blame it on the alcohol tomorrow.”

“W-we can’t,” Yoongi splutters but he’s already rocking his hips, rutting against Jeongguk as he tries to swipe the key card in the lock. “This is a terrible idea.”

“It’s the best idea we’ve had this whole trip,” Jeongguk replies. The door opens, and they nearly fall through it, but Jeongguk is pulling Yoongi over to the bed and throwing him down on it. He immediately climbs on top of him, attaching their mouths so viciously, Yoongi thinks his lip might be bleeding.

Ok, but things are happening right now. Apparently Jeongguk loves him and had told him this, but you’d think Yoongi would remember something like that happening, right? Wrong, it would seem. Then he thinks about what Jeongguk was trying to tell him earlier before they went on stage, and it all clicks in to place. Yoongi thinks it might be time for them to have their long overdue Adult Conversation, before they either fight or fuck the living speech out of each other.

He summons what little strength he can in his disoriented mind, because honestly? He’s still reeling from Jeongguk’s earlier revelation, so he flips them, rolling Jeongguk under him and sitting on his hips, grabbing Jeongguk’s wondering hands and pinning them flat to the bed besides his head.

“You gonna restrain me now, Yoongi hyung?” Jeongguk asks. He licks at his swollen lips and Yoongi swallows, trying hard to focus.

“You love me?” he asks instead and Jeongguk immediately begins to squirm.

“Don’t make fun of me, you’ve made your position on the matter quite clear,” he sneers, trying to free his hands. Yoongi slams them back down on the mattress and bends over Jeongguk’s body so they’re face to face.

“I haven’t done shit, because you haven’t let me,” he replies. “You’ve been behaving like such a brat, you’ve not given me a chance to explain myself.” Jeongguk opens his mouth and Yoongi bites his lower lip. “So, you’re going to lie here now, and shut the hell up,” he growls. Jeongguk is staring at him with wide glassy eyes as Yoongi wriggles on top of him till he’s comfortable. Yoongi clears his throat and thinks for a second. Then he says, very, very calmly, “You’re an idiot.”

Jeongguk blinks at him. “Huh?”

“I love you, maknae, but you’re actually stupid.” Jeongguk looks hurt but Yoongi pushes through; he’s still angry and hurting himself, and it feels good to inflict a little pain. “You must be, because only an idiot would tell someone they loved them, fifteen seconds before they had to go on stage.”

Jeongguk’s face has gone a bright shade of red. “It seemed like a good idea at the time,” he mumbles, slurring slightly.

Yoongi decides to test the waters and let’s go of his hands; Jeongguk’s arms stay flat against the bed as Yoongi slowly begins to undo his shirt buttons. “Only an idiot would throw a bitch fit because I wouldn’t dance with them, when it seems like I’ve done nothing but dance since we started training,” he says, shuffling down Jeongguk’s body. He feels something hard against his butt and he swallows; that’s Jeongguk’s dick. That’s Jeongguk’s dick, hard, against his butt. “Only an idiot-” He ducks down to kiss the space between Jeongguk’s collar bones, “Would go off with a random stranger in order to make me jealous.”

“It worked though, didn’t it,” Jeongguk gripes and then gasps as Yoongi nibbles up to his throat, latching on to the spot where the man’s love bite sat. “You’re here with me now, aren’t you?”

“I’m here, Jeongguk-ah.” Yoongi sucks hard over the skin. He’s aiming to cover the hickey with a bigger, more intense love bite of his own. He sucks hard on the skin, feeling Jeongguk shudder underneath him, and imagines it like he’s drawing poison from a wound. “You really are an idiot.”

“I’m an idiot,” Jeongguk moans in agreement as Yoongi gets to work on a second love bite, right under the first one. “I’m so stupid, I’m so dumb, I-”

“Stop,” Yoongi says, sitting up. He kisses him, soft and sweet, and it’s such a change from the angry energy that had surrounded them earlier. “Let’s accept that we’ve both made mistakes.”

Jeongguk nods frantically. He’s started to rock against Yoongi now, shallow thrusts of his hips that has Yoongi squirming internally. “Y-you’re still mad at me?” he asks, voice pitiful but Yoongi reckons that that has less to do with guilt and more to do with the raging hard on that’s poking Yoongi in the thigh. He kisses Jeongguk’s cheek.

“I’m not mad,” he says and Jeongguk moans brokenly.

“Will you touch me?” he asks.

“You want me to get the laptop?”

“No, touch me,” Jeongguk sobs, “Please? I know I’ve been a brat, but I’ve been wanting it for so long. I know you want it too. Yoongi hyung, please. I want to feel you so badly.” He kisses Yoongi then, hands leaving the bed to clutch at Yoongi’s shoulders, fisting in his shirt. Yoongi rubs his chest soothingly.

He thinks about telling Jeongguk that he loves him too. A part of him wants to drop to his knees and confess his feelings, like a sinner in a confession booth. He can feel the words bubbling on the back of his tongue, wanting to burst free. But another part of him imagined telling Jeongguk he loved him differently. Yoongi had always pictured it being super cheesy and romantic; the kind of thoughts that contained bubbles and candles and romantic dinners and long passionate sleepy sex before he finally confessed. He’d still like to have that.

Jeongguk isn’t going anywhere. The sight of the boy lying on his back and begging for his touch confirms this for Yoongi. Alcohol and hurt broke down his barriers; this is Jeongguk in his rawest emotional state and Yoongi wants to play with him a little.

He keeps rubbing Jeongguk’s chest; it’s supposed to be calming, till his hand ‘accidently’ brushes Jeongguk’s nipple and the younger boy arcs against him, crying out. “Hyung,” he moans.

“Oh, did that feel good?” Yoongi asks innocently, as Jeongguk squirms and tries to get his fingers back on his nipple. It’s hard and dark, pebbled, and Yoongi wants it in his mouth. He waits a moment, rubbing it with the tip of his finger. “You always were quite sensitive here,” he says thoughtfully, thinking about when Seokjin would pinch them jokingly to wake the younger boy up.

“Please?” Jeongguk mumbles.

“Sit up,” Yoongi says, “Take off your shirt.” Jeongguk’s obeying before he’s even finished the sentence. Yoongi wriggles back to make more room for him and he wraps an arm around Jeongguk’s shoulders once he’s shirtless in order to keep him steady. Jeongguk’s chest is heaving already, as Yoongi ducks his head down and runs his tongue across Jeongguk’s erect nipple. “Oh, baby…” he sighs, sucking, and Jeongguk chokes.

Yoongi sucks on his nipple for what feels like an eternity. Jeongguk is sweating, the taste of him and the scent of his body is getting Yoongi drunker than he’s ever felt, higher than he thought was possible. He pulls away with a final tease to the darkened areola, pointing his tongue and darting it in a cross like formation on Jeongguk’s hardened nipple.

“Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk is, to put it bluntly, a hot mess. His head is thrown back, hair line and upper lip sweaty, chest rising and falling as he struggles to get a hold of his breathing. Yoongi lets him go and he flops onto his back, groaning softly.

“Jeongguk.”

“Huh?” He blinks up at Yoongi sleepily. Yoongi glances around and then climbs of off him, ignoring his whine of protest.

He wants to ask Jeongguk more questions about how he’s feeling, trying to get a feel of where they find themselves. But from the looks of it, Jeongguk is too horny to form a sentence, let alone have a discussion. There goes Yoongi’s Adult Conversation.

Opening the mini bar that sat under the tv, Yoongi gets a bottle of white wine. He cracks it open and takes a swig straight from the bottle. They are, after all, supposed to be celebrating. This was the first time all night that Yoongi is actually feeling good.

He’s struck with a burst of inspiration, and he wonders back over to the bed, where Jeongguk is cupping himself over his dress pants. Yoongi smacks his hand in scolding. “Ow!”

“I’ve got an idea,” Yoongi says. He sets the wine of to the side and shoves Jeongguk’s legs apart, climbing in-between them. “You want me to touch you?”

“Yes,” Jeongguk says.

“I’m going to ask you some questions. For every answer you give me, I’ll touch you a bit more.”

It takes a moment for the words to process, and then Jeongguk raises an eyebrow, looking suspicious. “Anywhere I want?” he asks.

“Sure,” Yoongi says easily. “Within reason.” To prove his point, he flicks Jeongguk’s neglected nipple and the boy keens.

“Ok, ok, deal,” he says quickly. Yoongi lowers himself so that he’s lying with his chin resting on Jeongguk’s jumpy stomach.

“You love me?” he asks, slowly rubbing Jeongguk’s tit. Jeongguk’s breathing increases but he nods. “Use your words, baby.”

“Y-es,” Jeongguk swallows.

“How do you know?” Yoongi asks. “You ever loved someone before?”

“I don’t need to,” Jeongguk replies. “I know how I feel inside, I know my heart. No one makes me feel how I feel when I’m with you.”

“And how is that?” Yoongi licks his chest and Jeongguk gulps.

“Like I’m walking on air,” he says, “Like I’m home, I’m safe. Like I want to laugh and cry at the same time. I want to risk everything when I’m with you.”

Yoongi pauses. “Where do you want me to touch you?” he asks. He expects Jeongguk to be crude, but the boy replies;

“My stomach.”

Yoongi sits up and rubs his stomach, walks his fingers across the hard planes of Jeongguk’s abs. He fits his hands into the dips of his ribs and blows air on his belly button. “How long have you felt this way?” he asks.

Jeongguk doesn’t answer for a long time, and Yoongi removes his hands. Immediately, Jeongguk is protesting. “No, hyung, I was thinking!” Yoongi puts his hands back but doesn’t move them. Jeongguk’s eyes close. “I knew that something had changed when you slept with that dancer. I was so angry at the time, but I couldn’t work out why,” he says. Yoongi swallows. That was ages ago. “I couldn’t name what it was,” Jeongguk continues, “I thought it was just me trying to come to terms with myself, like maybe I wasn’t as into the thought of men having sex as I thought I was. But I was still sleeping with girls at the time, and whenever I was with them, I only thought about you. And how wrong it felt that I was with them, and not you instead.”

Yoongi latches onto his hip and sucks hard at the skin, tonguing and kissing the bone. Jeongguk moans, his fists clenching in the bedsheets. “Go on,” Yoongi mutters in between kisses.

“God, your mouth,” Jeongguk moans, “I- knew I liked you when you kissed me. I-I knew I loved you, ah, when management told me off about the hickeys I had, and I thought that if they found out it was you who gave them to me and kicked me out of the band, I wouldn’t care. I knew I loved you when I started to want people to know that you had me like this.”

That is a dangerous thought, and one that Yoongi will definitely be addressing when they’re soberer. Now is not the time though. “When you told us you were bisexual, seeing you be so honest and brave; I knew I had to say something,” Jeongguk mumbles. He groans softly; Yoongi has started to kiss the skin below his belly button, following the cut of his V to that secret place hidden under wrinkled dress pants. “That was when I wanted you to know,” he finishes breathlessly.

Yoongi’s hand finds his. “Where do you want me to touch you?” he repeats.

“M-my dick?” Yoongi hums and Jeongguk’s confidence grows. “Please, hyung, please. Please touch me,” he begs.

Yoongi undoes his pants as Jeongguk arches his hips to help get them off. Yoongi swallows the saliva pooling in his mouth as each glorious inch of Jeongguk’s skin is revealed slowly. “No underwear?” he teases when he’s got Jeongguk’s pants, shoes and socks off, and is met with the sight of Jeongguk’s hard dick against his belly. “Who do you think you are, Jimin?”

“Don’t talk about him now,” Jeongguk whines. Yoongi stretches out onto his belly between Jeongguk’s spread legs and kisses one muscled thigh, as his hand slides up the other leg. “Hyung…”

“Just a few more questions,” Yoongi promises. “Is this ok?” He taps his hand against Jeongguk’s leg.

“Yes, god, yes. You can touch me.” Jeongguk catches on quick.

“What do you want from me, Jeongguk?” Yoongi asks. It’s an unfair, loaded question, but Yoongi is curious.

Jeongguk bites his lip. “Whatever you are prepared to offer me.”

“Would you want me to love you?”

“…” Jeongguk doesn’t answer.

“Jeongguk.”

“I-it would be ok if you didn’t,” Jeongguk says suddenly. “I could find a way around it. Of course, it would be wonderful if you did, but I understand that…things don’t always work that way.”

“And what about the band? The others?”

“I would never let it over take that,” Jeongguk says fiercely. “I’d be stronger than that.”

Yoongi is satisfied. “Would you like me to touch you now?”

Jeongguk nods. He’s looks close to tears. Yoongi takes a deep breath to steady himself, his assertive attitude slowly depleting. This is happening. He’s going to touch Jeongguk’s cock. He’s thought about it more times than he can count, and now he’s wrapping his hand around Jeongguk and giving him a slow languid stroke.

Jeongguk sobs and Yoongi inhales shakily. Jeongguk is so hot and hard in his fist, the tip of his dick flushed angry red and growing slick with pre-cum as Yoongi slowly increases the speed with which he’s wanking him off. “Oh…” Jeongguk whimpers. Yoongi kisses his hip. He can’t see Jeongguk’s face from how he’s lying, but he can make out the vein throbbing in Jeongguk’s neck, how red and wet his throat and chest look as he starts to sweat more.

“I want to suck you,” Yoongi says suddenly and Jeongguk jerks like he’s been kicked.

“Oh god,” he says, “Oh god, ok.”

Yoongi sits up and kisses him sweetly. “Just relax,” he says gently. Jeongguk nods, lying back and trying to control his breathing. He covers his eyes with his arm, inhaling through his nose and exhaling through his mouth.

Yoongi slides down again so that he’s on his front. He holds Jeongguk’s dick, takes a breath and licks his lips, trying to get them wet. Leaning forwards, he fits his mouth over the head of Jeongguk’s cock, tongue instantly coming in to play, to rub at the sensitive skin. Jeongguk makes a noise like a wounded animal, his hips jumping. Yoongi places a hand firmly on his hip to hold him still as he slides his mouth down lower, and then up, slurping and sucking away the pre-cum from before. It’s salty and tangy on his tongue; he could easily get addicted and he bobs his head again, keeping Jeongguk’s cock warm in his mouth as he starts to suck and swallow, suck and swallow.

“Your fucking mouth, I can’t-” Jeongguk sobs. His hips can’t move so he has to settle for thrashing his head, fingers wondering down to pinch his nipples.

Yoongi hums in agreement; he knows he’s good. Yoongi hasn’t dated many people, but when he had, they’d all been keen to sing his praises about his fondness for oral sex. Yoongi’s tongue wasn’t just good for spitting out fast raps over sick beats, as Jeongguk was now learning.

Yoongi lifts his head, sucking again on just the head as he relaxes his throat and then sinks all the way down till his nose brushes Jeongguk’s pubic bone. Jeongguk shouts at that; his leg shoots up and Yoongi moves with him, refusing to be deterred. He grabs Jeongguk’s hips and sucks hard as Jeongguk cries out, shrinking away at his hands fist in Yoongi’s hair, pulling desperately. “Hyung, hyung, Yoongi, I’m going to cum-”

Yoongi’s eyes flick up to see Jeongguk staring at him desperately, and he very pointedly swallows, his throat contracting, tight and wet, around Jeongguk’s cock. Jeongguk’s head drops back as he moans, broken and animalistic, and comes in Yoongi’s mouth. He’s still bucking like a bronco, and Yoongi struggles to swallow all of the cum in his mouth, with some of it leaking out the sides and dripping down his chin. Swallowing quickly, he keeps sucking, until Jeongguk is crying at the oversensitivity. Yoongi pulls away, and more cum dribbles down his chin.

Yoongi wipes his mouth with his fingers and sucks them clean, relishing the taste. He should be treasuring this moment, he thinks, encase he doesn’t get the chance again.

Jeongguk has buried himself into a little ball on the bed, and Yoongi gulps. The taste of semen is still thick on his tongue, and he swallows again and again. “Kook?” he says softly, “Are you ok?”

Jeongguk grunts. Slowly, he unfolds himself, shuddering as he starfishes on the bed. “I think you broke me,” he says quietly. Yoongi sags internally with relief.

“Sorry, baby,” he says gently. “Want me to clean you up?”

Jeongguk nods. “Hyung…” he whines, when Yoongi ducks down and begins to lap up any left-over cum from his dick. Yoongi hums and Jeongguk strokes his hair. “I love you,” he says quietly. Yoongi sits up, rubbing his mouth.

“Jeongguk…”

“I know you think I’m just some dumb kid. You think I can’t love you because I don’t have any experience. But I know how I feel. I love you. You don’t have to say it back, it’s ok.” Jeongguk pulls him in suddenly, kissing him sweetly and then licking into his mouth. Yoongi moans softly when Jeongguk’s hand brushes against his throbbing dick. “Why are you still dressed?”

Yoongi glances down at himself; his outfit is crumpled and dirty now. He feels stiflingly hot. “God…”

“Let me help.” Jeongguk starts to undo the buttons of Yoongi’s shirt. “Stand up,” he says to Yoongi, who does as he’s told, standing between Jeongguk’s knees who is still sitting on the bed. Jeongguk undoes his pants and pauses. “Is this ok?”

“It’s more than ok,” Yoongi confirms quickly. He’s desperate for something, anything, right now. His belly is warm and full of cum and his body is sticky with sweat. He’s so ready to get off, he’s pretty sure a strong breeze would be enough to set him off.

Jeongguk undoes his pants and slowly eases them down. Yoongi dutifully steps out of them, leaving him in just his boxers. Jeongguk stares at the outline of Yoongi’s dick under the fabric, and the bit where the head has leaked, making the material slightly darker. He touches gently, tentatively and Yoongi’s whole body shakes. “Fuck…”

Jeongguk pulls down his boxers, tucking them down Yoongi’s thighs. He takes a deep breath, gulping at the sight of Yoongi’s cock. “Why does this feel so different?” he asks, laughing nervously. Yoongi shrugs, gripping Jeongguk’s broad shoulders for support.

“I don’t know,” he admits, because they’ve never gone this far before. “You don’t have to do anything.”

“But I was to,” Jeongguk says. He blushes. “I want to suck you, like you did to me. But I’ve never done that for anyone.” Yoongi can’t pretend the thought of Jeongguk sucking his dick doesn’t turn him on. He’d love to see Jeongguk down on his knees with Yoongi’s cock in his mouth, the masochist in him wants to see him choke a little bit, but he gets that it can be daunting and nerve-wracking when you’ve never done it before.

“That’s ok,” he says soothingly. Jeongguk slowly wraps a hand around him, jerking him off and Yoongi groans low in his throat. “That’s ok, baby, that’ll do fine. That feels so good, Kook.”

“You’re so pretty, hyung,” Jeongguk says quietly and Yoongi whines.

“’M not,” he mumbles as Jeongguk licks his palm and then starts to wank him faster. “Tighten your grip a little?” Jeongguk listens and Yoongi’s head lolls as his toes curl in pleasure. “Yeah, baby…”

After a few minutes, Yoongi’s stomach begins to tighten. “Jeongguk,” he warns but Jeongguk doesn’t slow down. Instead, he leans forwards and kitten licks just the tip of Yoongi’s wet dick, face scrunching up at the taste of his pre-cum before he points his tongue and licks again. Yoongi moans and comes, getting it on Jeongguk’s face and in his hair. His nails squeeze into Jeongguk’s shoulders and his legs wobble as Jeongguk continues to stroke him through his orgasm.

Yoongi’s legs finally give out and he pitches forwards, face planting on the bed besides Jeongguk. He turns to look at the younger boy, and moans when he sees Jeongguk scraping a finger through the mess on his face and then putting his fingers in his mouth to taste it.

“Jesus Christ…” Yoongi breathes.

Jeongguk looks at him, scratching the back of his head. “I think you got some in my eye,” he says. Yoongi can’t help it; he bursts out laughing, getting to his feet and shucking his boxers completely.

“Come on,” he says, “Shower, now.” Jeongguk grumbles protests but he grudgingly stumbles to his feet and follows Yoongi into the shower.

With the water running hot, Yoongi pushes him up against the wall and sucks over his neck again, making sure that the only marks present on Jeongguk’s body are the ones left by him. Jeongguk moans and squirms and grows hard again against his thigh, and Yoongi jerks him off to completion right there in the shower, sucking bruises all over his chest as he does it.

When they’re done and towelling off, Jeongguk notices his hand. “Is that from where you punched the wall?” he asks worriedly.

Yoongi blinks. It’s weird to think that this all took place in the same night. He feels angry, thinking about that stupid man and his stupid face, but then Jeongguk is taking his hand and kissing it softly. “What are you doing?”

“I’m kissing it better,” Jeongguk says, like it’s obvious. Yoongi rolls his eyes. He takes Jeongguk back to the bed, where they lie together and pass the opened bottle of wine back and forth. Eventually, their eyelids grow heavy. Yoongi is sufficiently tipsy again, and he feels warm and content inside. Jeongguk wraps himself around him, skin on skin, as Yoongi turns out the light.

“I didn’t mean to make you angry,” Jeongguk says in the darkness. Yoongi kisses his forehead.

“I know. I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

“I meant what I said though,” Jeongguk murmurs. “I really do love you.”

“…I know.” He knows Jeongguk is disappointed. Yoongi wriggles to face him; his hand finds Jeongguk’s cheekbone in the dark and he strokes it. “I feel the same, Jeongguk-ah. But I can’t say it yet. I want it to be right when I say it. Semi-drunk blowjobs aren’t good enough for me,” he says and Jeongguk snorts but he’s smiling. “I want you to know that I care for you, so much. And when the time is right, I will tell you how I feel as well.”

“When will it be that time?” Jeongguk asks, ever the impatient youth.

Yoongi thinks. “Soon.”

*

Things can never be simple, can they?

Yoongi jerks awake the next morning with a mild headache and a sweaty Jeongguk plastered to his chest. Someone is pounding hard on the door.

Yoongi has to extract himself from the death grip Jeongguk has on him, and he nearly falls out of the bed but he’s up, stumbling towards the door feeling hazy and confused.

“I’m coming,” he grunts, throat thick. Yanking the door wide open, he sees a very pale, very hungover looking Namjoon standing on the other side, with one of their managers in tow.

“Hyung, you-” Namjoon’s eyes widen and he nearly chokes. Yoongi only just realises that he’s naked and he squeaks, leaping behind the door.

“What do you want?” he groans, mortified, as he scrambles for something to wear. He finds one of the hotel’s fuzzy white bathrobes, which he pulls on. It’s too big for him, and the sleeves cascade down way past his hands so he has to keep pulling them up.

“Can we come in?” their manager asks, and Yoongi pales even more.

“It’s not a great time right now,” he stammers, trying to shut the door, but their manager is pushing it back, fighting him.

“Please, Yoongi, we really need to talk to you, and it’s about a matter that’s a bit too delicate to be discussed here in the hallway.”

“He wants to know why a man is threatening to sue us for assault,” Namjoon says tiredly, clearly not wanting to deal with this. “Apparently, you punched him in a bathroom?”

Yoongi panics, and the manager gets the door open. Both he and Namjoon shove inside and Yoongi thinks he might be sick. “No, wait a minute, just-”

“Hyung?” a voice croaks from the bed.

Yoongi’s stomach drops. “Oh shit…”

“Oh shit!” Namjoon says. Their manager looks up.

“Oh. Shit,” he gasps.

Jeongguk has sat up in the bed. He’s rocking a serious case of bedhead, he’s still half asleep, and his neck and throat look like he’s been attacked by multiple leeches; various splodges of blues and purples mark his throat and pecs, over his nipples and one very prominent one on his hip bone.

He sees them all looking, and scowls, making sleepy grabby hands in Yoongi’s direction. “Yoongi hyung…I don’t feel so good…”

“J-Jeongguk,” Yoongi splutters. Their manager looks furious.

“Yoongi-ah,” he says, voice very quiet. “Please explain to me why Jeongguk is in your bed.”

“He- I- I don’t- It’s not-” Yoongi can’t find the right words. He’s saved, rather unfortunately, by Jeongguk getting impatient of waiting for him. The younger boy slumps out of the bed, confirming everyone’s suspicions that he is, in fact, very naked. His face goes pale and then a mild shade of green, and Yoongi can hear his stomach gurgling from the other side of the room.

“E-excuse me,” Jeongguk says, a hand cupped over his mouth and one clutched to his stomach. He shoves past the manager and Namjoon, running into the bathroom behind them. The door slams and they can hear him retching.

Their manager turns slowly to Yoongi. His expression is blank, and his face is white. “You have a lot of explaining to do,” he says quietly.

Yoongi can only nod, head hanging in shame. If Jeongguk wasn’t in there puking, Yoongi doesn’t doubt he’d be in his place, head hanging over the toilet bowl as he shook and emptied his stomach with anxiety.

“Get yourselves decent, and then go and wait in Namjoon’s room,” their manager says, “I have to speak with the others.”

He turns and leaves without another word, leaving Namjoon and Yoongi alone to the uncomfortable sound of Jeongguk throwing up. “Yoongi hyung.” Yoongi can’t even look at the band leader. “I need you to tell me, right now, if there is anything going on that I need to know about. Anything that you need me to know.”

Yoongi swallows. His eyelids feel wet. Fuck, he can’t start to cry; he knew this might happen. He tries to speak but his voice won’t co-operate. He clears his throat and tries again. “We’ve been fooling around for months,” he says quietly. “We didn’t do anything sexual together until last night, but at the after party, I saw a man go into the bathroom with him…I was drunk, and jealous, and I pushed him and shouted at him. I didn’t hit him or anything, I punched a wall.”

“Jesus…” Namjoon sighs. “I really didn’t punch him, Namjoon, I swear. I yelled at him in Korean, but that’s all.”

“Hyung…?” a small voice garbles from inside the bathroom, and Yoongi’s heart aches at the sound. Namjoon’s head turns as well.

“Go to him,” he says shortly, “I’ll be waiting for you in my room.” He turns to leave. “I can’t promise how everyone is going to react to this, hyung,” he says by way of parting, and closes the door behind him.

Yoongi sniffs shakily, and then goes to the bathroom door. He finds Jeongguk slumped over the toilet seat, sweating and green. “Sexy,” he says, but his voice lacks any kind of humour.

“My head hurts. My tummy hurts. I miss my mom,” Jeongguk says as Yoongi sinks down beside him and rubs his back soothingly.

“I miss my mom too.” Yoongi wants nothing more in at the moment than to give his mother a hug, curling up in her embrace and having her tell him everything will be ok.

“Are we in trouble, hyung?” Jeongguk asks quietly.

“I think we are.” Jeongguk sniffs.

“But…we didn’t do anything wrong,” he says helplessly.

“Well…I did. I shouted at that man,” Yoongi reminds him gently, “Pushed him around a bit.”

“Only because I provoked you!” Jeongguk sits up and then his expression crumples. He leans back over the toilet and retches again; Yoongi leans forwards to hold back his fringe, lest his hair gets stuck to his sweaty forehead. “It’s not fair,” he cries, spitting into the toilet as Yoongi strokes his hair. “We didn’t do anything.”

“I’ll talk to the managers,” Yoongi says quietly. “I’ll get this sorted, Kook-ah, I promise.” He helps Jeongguk to his feet and starts the shower running. “Get yourself cleaned up, we need to go to Namjoon’s room.”

“Was hyung mad?” Jeongguk asks, sniffing pathetically as Yoongi guides him into the shower.

“I don’t know,” Yoongi says quietly, “I think so.”

“But he knows about you.” Yoongi can just hear him over the sound of the shower spray. “He wasn’t mad then.”

“He knows about me, he didn’t know about us doing stuff together,” Yoongi points out, squeezing out tooth paste. He starts to brush his teeth vigorously. Jeongguk doesn’t say anything after that, but Yoongi can hear the sound of the body wash clicking open. He spits out his toothpaste; the foam is tinted red. Yoongi pulls back his lips and inspects his teeth. He’d made his gums bleed.

After a thorough face wash and putting on some clean clothes, Yoongi is, at least, starting to feel a bit more human. He makes his way down to Namjoon and Seokjin’s room, Jeongguk clutching his wrist. “This sucks,” the younger boy mumbles.

Yoongi pauses outside their door. He has to take a second to compose himself, because he honestly thinks he might start to cry. This is bad. This is really, really bad and the gravity of what is happening hasn’t quite sunk in yet.

He knocks on the door. Jeongguk suddenly leans over and kisses the corner of his mouth. “Kook,” Yoongi says, turning his head and Jeongguk catches his lips in a quick, but no less passionate, peck.

“It’s going to be ok,” Jeongguk says, looking surer than he feels, “I know it is.”

The door opens, and they break apart like naughty school children. Namjoon looks at them blankly, mouth set in a grim line. “Come in,” he says. They follow him meekly into the bedroom. Namjoon points at his bed. “Sit there.” They sit. Behind their backs, Jeongguk clutches Yoongi’s hand.

Namjoon sits down on the opposite bed. They can hear the shower running. “I’m just waiting for Seokjin hyung,” Namjoon says. The room fills with uncomfortable silence. Jeongguk, a natural ice breaker, swallows.

“Hyung-”

“Don’t say a word, Jeongguk. Not a word,” Namjoon says quietly. Then he looks at Yoongi. “I can’t believe you would so something so foolish, I-” He catches himself and bites his lip. “I can’t actually say a lot of what I want to say to you. But Seokjin hyung can.”

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. The shower shuts off and they hear Seokjin yelling. “Is he here yet?”

“Yes, hyung.”

The bathroom door slams open and Seokjin storms out. Yoongi has honestly never been more terrified then in that moment, when he is faced with an extremely hungover Seokjin coming towards him, wrapped in a bathrobe, hair wrapped up in a towel and a soppy wet sheet mask covering his face. Seokjin marches up to him and boxes him over the head. “Wah, you idiot!” he snaps, “How could you be so stupid!”

“Ow, fuck off!” Yoongi yells, bringing his hand up to try and protect his ears.

“Don’t swear at me, Min Yoongi, you’ve fucked up, big time.”

“Hyung-” Jeongguk says quietly.

“What on earth were you thinking? Sleeping with the maknae? I’ve tried to be understanding, Yoongi, and for the most part, I think we’ve done a pretty good job. But you’re taking this piss now, you understand?”

“Hyung-?”

“Did you give him these love bites? Where everyone can see them? You’re no worse than that pervert from the bathroom that you attacked, who is threatening to sue us, by the way-”

“Hyung!” Jeongguk leaps to his feet, standing in front of Yoongi. He and Jin are the same height, and it’s honestly a bit intimidating, seeing the youngest member of the group squaring up to the eldest in a way that he never has before. “Back off,” Jeongguk says. Seokjin is staring at him like he’s grown a second head. Jeongguk is standing his ground but his fingers are twitching in a way that conveys his nervousness. Yoongi’s actually a little bit turned on, and he hates himself for not being able to control himself.

Namjoon has his head in his hands. “Ok,” he says, the sounds muffled, “Let’s just calm everything down a little bit. Hyung, sit down.” He drags at Seokjin’s wrist, who is refusing to break eye contact with Jeongguk. Jeongguk’s nostrils flare, but he stands his ground. Eventually Seokjin sits down onto the bed and Jeongguk returns to Yoongi’s side. He finds Yoongi’s hand, hidden behind them and strokes his fingers. Yoongi didn’t realise how much he was shaking till Jeongguk started to soothe him.

“Hyung,” Namjoon says calmly, “When did this-” He waves a hand between them, “Begin?”

Yoongi swallows. “A few months ago,” he says, glaring at Seokjin when he splutters. “We started to watch porn together, jerking off besides one another. It wasn’t a big deal, just guys being guys, y’know?”

“No, I don’t,” Seokjin says angrily. “We had a thing Yoongi, if one of us needed alone time, we asked the other to leave the room, or put in some headphones, or did it in the shower. We didn’t do it sitting next to each other.”

“This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t sent me out of the room that one time-”

“What are you even talking about, quit changing the subject-”

“Hyungs!” Namjoon yells and they all fall silent. “I’m trying to keep this as civil as possible. Hyung, let Yoongi hyung speak.”

Yoongi scowls. “Jeongguk found out about me being bi, and he started to question his own sexuality. He asked me to kiss him, and I did. And at first, I told myself it was to help him, but I know now it was because I wanted to.”

“You took advantage of him?” Seokjin asks.

“Are you listening to me? I just said that I started out with good intentions,” Yoongi snaps. He looks at Namjoon then. “You asked me to speak to him about his sexuality.”

“Wait, what?” Jeongguk demands.

“You knew about this?” Seokjin explodes, smacking Namjoon on the arm, who raises his hands in surrender.

“What, no!” he insists. “Well, I suspected he might like men-”

“What?” both boys ask.

Namjoon looks sheepish. “Jeongguk went to the bathroom one night and left his computer open…I might have seen the porn he was watching. Two guys…”

“That’s it, I want my own room!” Jeongguk snaps.

“I can’t believe you knew about this and let this happen!” Seokjin yells at Namjoon. He smacks him again for good measure.

“I didn’t know he and Yoongi hyung were messing around!”

“God, I’m surrounded by idiots,” Seokjin exclaims, throwing his arms up in the air. “All of you: idiots.”

There’s a knock on the door. Everyone falls silent and they stare in anticipation and dread when the knocking comes again. “That’ll be the managers,” Namjoon says.

He gets up to open the door. Yoongi really does feel like he’s going to vomit now. Jeongguk squeezes his hand tightly as Namjoon cracks the door open.

“Hyung, have you seen everyone?” Jimin’s light voice chirps and Yoongi’s stomach rolls in relief. “Tae and I can’t seem to find anybody.”

“They’re in here,” Namjoon says.

“Oh great! Tae-Tae, Hobi hyung, they’re all in hyung’s room!” Jimin calls and then he comes into the room. He immediately detects the sombre atmosphere and his face darkens. “What’s going on?” he asks.

Seokjin glares at Yoongi. “Do you want to tell him or shall I?”

Yoongi snorts and then turns to Jimin. “I might be getting sued,” he says, as calmly as he can. His voice still wobbles with anxiety.

“Sue did what now?” Hoseok asks, entering the room with Taehyung in tow. He sits down on the bed, rubbing his sore head and closing his eyes.

“We’re being sued?!” Jimin shrieks and everyone covers their sensitive ears.

“Yoongi and Jeongguk have been sleeping together; Yoongi punched someone for touching Jeongguk,” Seokjin says. Yoongi kicks him. “Allegedly.”

“You haven’t let me finish.”

“Wait, Jeongguk’s been sleeping with Yoongi?” Hoseok asks.

“Jeongguk is gay?” Jimin asks.

“I’m not gay!” Jeongguk snaps.

“Sit down,” Namjoon commands and everyone did so. “Yoongi-hyung, explain again.”

“God, how many more times? Jeongguk and I started wanking together; then we started kissing. I got drunk yesterday and punched the wall because a man was touching up Jeongguk, and I gave him a blow job yesterday. Are you all fucking happy now?” Yoongi explodes, the words rushing out of him like vomit.

Everyone stares at him. Then Taehyung sighs. “I told you guys to be careful,” he said.

“You knew about this?” Namjoon demands and Taehyung shrugs, his face set with the same blankness that he approached life with every day.

“I mean, I walked in on hyung giving Jeongguk a love bite,” he says calmly. “I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

“This is a huge deal,” Namjoon says.

“You can’t talk, you knew Jeongguk was bisexual and you didn’t tell me!” Seokjin spluttered.

“It wasn’t my place to tell, I only suspected-”

“So, is Jeongguk bi or gay or what?” Jimin asks, still looking perplexed.

As they squabble amongst themselves, Taehyung crawls over and wraps two long arms around Jeongguk and Yoongi. “Are you guys ok?” he asks quietly. Jeongguk snorts, rocking against him and Yoongi smiles tiredly.

“It’s been a stressful morning,” he says.

“So, hyung is getting sued by the man?” Hoseok asks.

“I just pushed him a bit…I might have threatened him in Korean, but he couldn’t understand,” Yoongi says, his tone laced with desperation. “I didn’t even do anything, guys.”

“Apart from sleep with the maknae,” Jimin suggests.

“Oh my god, I haven’t slept with him, I can’t- This is ridiculous,” Yoongi snarls.

“I can’t believe you knew about this and you didn’t tell us,” Jimin says to Taehyung, sounding a bit perplexed, who shrugs again.

“I really don’t see what the problem is,” he says.

“The problem is that Namjoon walked into their room this morning to find them naked in bed together.” Seokjin points between Yoongi and Jeongguk. “If anyone finds out-”

“They’d only find out if someone told them.”

“But Jeongguk is-”

“It seems to me that everyone is blaming hyung for this,” Taehyung says, his brow creasing thoughtfully. “Has anyone actually asked Jeongguk how he feels?”

Everyone looks at their feet guiltily. “Jeongguk-ah?” Namjoon asks. Jeongguk flinches and clears his throat, his eyes darting over each of their faces. Yoongi squeezes his hand in support.

“Yes?”

“Can you tell us what’s been going on?” Jeongguk bites his lip. “

You don’t have to say anything,” Yoongi says quietly.

“Don’t speak for him,” Seokjin snaps.

“Man, shut up!” Yoongi spits.

“Please stop fighting,” Jeongguk says quietly. He takes a deep breath. “Ok, so, I’m not gay,” he begins. “I don’t know if I’m bisexual, or if I like girls and Yoongi hyung, but I know I like him. It’s true, hyung proposed that we start watching porn together, but that was only because I was so shy. I realised I enjoyed it, I liked being with him, and I asked him to kiss me. Everything that we’ve done together, I’ve asked for.” Jeongguk pauses, brings their joined hands together so everyone can see. “I love him,” he says suddenly.

“Jeongguk-” Hoseok says gently. 

"I know what everyone is thinking,” Jeongguk continues. He stares down at where his hand is gripping Yoongi’s tightly. “You all think I’m disgusting, or that I’m too young, or that I don’t know what I’m talking about. Trust me, everything you’re thinking, I’ve thought about myself a hundred times over.” He shakes his head, a self-deprecating laugh on his lips. “…But I know my heart. I know what I’m feeling now, and I feel love for him. It’s ok if he doesn’t feel it back or can’t say it to me. But I want him to know.” Jeongguk looks Yoongi dead in the eyes. “I love you.”

Yoongi’s heart thuds with an overwhelming number of emotions. He wants to laugh and cry and sing and shout and dance and drop down dead. He’s happy and angry and joyful and sad. The door opens, and everyone’s head whips around. One of their managers is there. She clears her throat. “Yoongi. I need you to come with me,” she says. Yoongi nods and climbs to his feet. Jeongguk clutches his hand till the last possible second, before he has to let go.

“I’ll sort this,” Yoongi promises him, turning and following her out of the room. She takes him down to the spare hotel room that their staff are using as a board room, where the other managers and a computer sits, set to video call. “Sit down, Yoongi,” someone asks him. Yoongi takes a seat in the chair. He faces the computer, where he is on a video call with their bosses.

“I’ll cut to the chase,” one of them says. “We’re negotiating with the managers of the man who wants to sue you. It looks like you’re in the clear.” Yoongi quirks an eyebrow and doesn’t say anything. “Apparently, a sex scandal would be as unfavourable for them as it would be for us, and seeing as you didn’t actually hit him the way he claimed, we’ll be able to get you off the hook. Further, it seems like he was unaware of your actual motivations for getting in his face. He seems to believe you were protecting Jeongguk, and that's the story we are going to stick to. They're dropping the matter as we speak.”

“That’s good,” Yoongi says calmly. Inside, he feels like he’s dying.

“Now, concerning the other, more pressing matter at hand. You’ve decided to take up a sexual relationship with your youngest band mate?”

Yoongi swallows. His foot starts tapping. “So it would seem.”

“When were you going to inform us of your…sexual preferences?”

“I didn’t think it was any of your business,” Yoongi replies.

“You understand that this relationship cannot be allowed to continue?”

“I can’t do that,” Yoongi says after a moment. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“…”

“Yoongi?”

“I love him,” Yoongi says.

“No, you don’t.”

“I do, and you can’t tell me that I don’t. I love him, and I’ll stick with him for as long as he’ll have me. It’s not affecting anyone else, what’s the harm in it?”

“Don’t be stupid, Yoongi,” someone else says, “Suppose you break up? Or you meet someone else? You’ll break up the band.”

“I’d never do that. This is my life,” Yoongi swears, “I love these boys and this band with all my being. But I love him with all my heart and I can’t stop this when we might have a chance.”

“You’re playing with fire, boy.”

Yoongi rises. “And I’ll accept the consequences if I get burned.”

“We’re not finished here.”

“That’s too bad,” Yoongi says calmly, “Because I am.”

He turns and walks out of the room. Their manager is coming down the hallway with Jeongguk behind, who looks pale and nervous. He sees Yoongi and pushes past her, running to him. “Hyung, what happened?” he asks desperately, as the door opens, and their managers are yelling after Yoongi to come back.

Yoongi grabs Jeongguk’s arm and tugs him close, wrapping his arms around him. “I love you,” he says, quick and quiet in his ear. It's not the ideal romantic setting Yoongi had imagined in his head, but he knows that if there was ever a time to tell Jeongguk how he felt, it was no. “I love you so much. Please know that I do.”

And then someone is pulling them apart, ushering Jeongguk down the hall. “You need to apologise, Yoongi,” one of the managers says to him, “Call the bosses and make this right.”

“You can call the bosses and tell them that they accept me, or I’ll quit.” Yoongi feels sick saying it. “They can’t bully me into anything. Accept me as I am, or not at all.” Then he turns and walks away.

In his hotel room, he slams the door and goes straight in to the bathroom to be sick. He vomits and vomits, till his stomach has nothing left to give and his guts are cramping around nothing.

He brushes his teeth and goes on to the balcony to chain smoke. He’s on his third cigarette when there is a knock at the door. Yoongi stubs out his cigarette and goes to open it. Seokjin is waiting in the hallway. He’s dressed now, but he looks sheepish and sad.

“I owe you an apology,” he says. Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “Namjoon told me what you said. Well, manager noona told him, and he told me, so…And listening to Jeongguk talk about you earlier.” He stares at his feet. “I was being really unfair to you. I was just scared that you were going to get into trouble, and I blamed you for it. I shouldn’t have done that and it was wrong of me. I’m sorry.”

Yoongi sighs and then nods. “I accept your apology. Do you want to come in for a moment?”

Seokjin nods. He sniffs as the door closes behind him. “You’ve been smoking again.”

“It’s one of those days.”

They sit on the bed together. “What did the bosses say?” Seokjin asks.

“The other man was an upcoming American idol. His label doesn’t want him caught up in a scandal, and seeing as he was technically lying, they think that I’m off the hook.”

“That’s good,” Seokjin nods. “And what about…you know?”

Yoongi sniffs. “They want me to break everything off with him.”

“You weren’t together right?”

“No, but, you heard him, didn’t you? He said he loves me, Jin-hyung…that has to mean something, right?”

Seokjin bites his lip. “He is very young,” he points out.

“So, you're saying I shouldn’t even give this a chance? I love him, hyung. Do I let that go without even trying, because he might not mean it? How is that fair?”

“It’s not,” Seokjin agrees, “But that’s the price we pay, isn’t it? To get to make the music we love and see the world like we do. You’ve got to sell your soul somehow.” Yoongi stares at the bedding beneath his crossed legs.

“I’ve said that I’ll quit,” he says suddenly.

Seokjin gasps. “Yoongi, no…”

“It’s not just about this,” he says, feeling oddly at peace. “Whether I was with Jeongguk or not is beside the point. They can’t accept me being bisexual, they can walk. Or I can, rather.” He turns to face Seokjin. “I’d never let anything get in the way of my work, hyung. So, if Jeongguk and I tried out being together and it didn’t work, fine. At least we tried. I can still be professional. But having a company ask me to deny who I am, is something that I just can’t do. I hope you understand.”

Seokjin sighs heavily. “I don’t,” he admits, “Not really. But there’s a lot of things I don’t understand about you, Min Yoongi.” He smiles at him. “It doesn’t mean I like you any less.” He hugs him, and Yoongi clings to him tightly. “For the record,” Seokjin continues as they embrace, “I don’t want you to ever think that we think you’re disgusting for loving men. I said the same to Jeongguk and now I’m saying it to you. We love you, Yoongi. Even if you do like it up the butt every now and again.”

“God,” Yoongi snorts; his eyes are wet but he’s smiling.

The door opens and Jeongguk comes in, looking harried and ragged. He pauses when he sees them, out of breath. “Hyung,” he says.

Seokjin rises to his feet. “I’ll let you two talk,” he says. He squeezes Jeongguk’s shoulder. “You know where we are if you need us.”

He leaves, and it’s just the two of them. Yoongi slowly stands up and Jeongguk floats over to him, like he’s in a dream. “What happened?” Yoongi asks and then Jeongguk is falling into him. He’s sobbing, big horrible sounds that make Yoongi start to cry as well. He holds him tightly, makes shushing noises that he hopes are soothing. “Jeongguk, tell me what happened.”

“They tried to get me to stop being with you,” Jeongguk sobs. “They said I was letting them down, that they were disappointed in me, and that I need to break up with you as soon as possible. B-but, I can’t do it, hyung,” he weeps. “I can’t.”

“It’s ok,” Yoongi soothes. He sinks onto the bed, taking Jeongguk with him and holding him close. “It’s ok.”

“I- I threatened to quit,” Jeongguk whispers, “I told them I’d leave, if they didn’t let me be with you. That’s how much I want this, b-but, what if they fire me? What if they tell me to leave?”

“They won’t. Baby, they won’t do that.” Yoongi kisses his cheeks, tasting salty tears. “I won’t let them. I’ll leave before I let them do that to you.”

“I can’t let you-” Yoongi kisses him, and Jeongguk whines into his mouth, biting his lips aggressively. “I love you,” Yoongi says against his mouth, “I love you so much, even when you drive me so crazy. I love you-”

“I love you,” Jeongguk moans as Yoongi crawls on top of him. “Don’t leave me, please, I love you.”

Yoongi gets the covers over them and they lie together, wrapped in each other’s arms and trading kisses. Jeongguk eventually falls asleep, his face pressed against Yoongi’s neck for comfort, and Yoongi knows in his heart of hearts that no matter what comes from this, he is glad he stood his ground, because he wouldn’t trade moments like this for anything.

All of them are called into a band meeting the next day. They sit in a line, faces fixed in grim expressions as they prepare themselves for the worst. The video stream connects, and the bosses are there.

“I’m sure you are all aware of the current situation,” they say.

Namjoon clears his throat. “We are,” he says, “And I want to be clear. Everyone in this band supports everyone, regardless of sexuality or relationship preferences.”

“If it goes wrong, it could mean bad things for all of you.”

“You’d need to give it a chance first,” Namjoon says firmly. The bosses sigh. One of them clears their throat. “In that case then, we will allow you to keep this up. It would be a disaster for the company of two of the members left.” Yoongi’s heart pounds. “Know that we are not happy about this. We will be keeping an eye on you all, especially you two, and if we see anything, anything at all, that may indicate you are anything more than band mates, we will not hesitate to step in, are we clear?”

“As crystal,” Yoongi says. Everyone else nods.

They get sent back to their rooms and as soon as the door is shut, Jeongguk is pushing Yoongi against it and dropping to his knees. “What are you doing?” Yoongi asks, although he has a pretty good idea. He feels like he's walking on air, head up in the clouds.

Jeongguk unbuckles his belt, licking his lips. “Let’s just say I’ve got a lot of making up to do, and I want to get as much practice as possible. We've got to celebrate a win somehow.”

*

“Have you got toothpaste?’

“Yes.”

“Phone charger?”

“Yes.”

“Condoms?”

“Oh god…” Yoongi groans as Seokjin waves a jumbo box of condoms in his face. “Give me those.” Yoongi snatches them from him and shoves them into his bag, face blushing bright red.

Seokjin cackles manically. “I’m sorry, Yoongi, but you know that as your hyung, it’s my job to make sure you’re safe.”

“You’re an idiot,” Yoongi tells him cheerfully, zipping up his bag. Out in the common room, he grabs his face mask and tucks his cap firmly on his head.

Taehyung wonders past with a bag of chips. “Remind me again where you’re going,” he says, munching away happily. Jimin drifts over as well to start begging for food.

“He and Jeongguk are going on a sex vacation,” he says, opening his mouth. Taehyung feeds him dutifully.

“For the last time, it’s not a sex vacation,” Yoongi insists. “I’m taking him with me to look at apartments, and it’s just easier if we spend the night in a hotel instead of coming back here.”

“Yeah, cos we don’t spend enough time in hotels as it is,” Jimin says, opening his mouth again. Taehyung feeds him another chip, grimacing when Jimin licks his fingers.

“Why can’t you just get your own bag?” he demands.

“It tastes better when you feed it to me.”

“Jeongguk-ah!” Yoongi yells, “Let’s go, we have to meet the estate agent in an hour!”

“I can’t find my shoes!” Jeongguk yells from somewhere in the dorm. Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“At least I won’t have to listen to you have sex through the walls now,” Taehyung says thoughtfully and Yoongi chokes.

“We don’t even have sex,” he splutters. It’s true; they barely even get time for a hand job, living with five other boys like they do. It’s one of the reasons Yoongi is looking forward to getting his own place.

Jeongguk dashes in, and Yoongi starts choking for a different reason. Jeongguk is shirtless and shoeless, looking around desperately. Yoongi’s mouth waters at the sight of Jeongguk’s dark nipples, perky and peaked in the cold room. Taehyung and Jimin are laughing at him.

“I thought you just needed to find your shoes,” Yoongi wheezes.

“I do, I thought I left them in here?” Jeongguk scratches his chest, and Yoongi hyperventilates.

“Did you leave them under Namjoon’s bed again?” he asks weakly and Jeongguk’s eyes widen.

“I did! Ok, I’m coming, I’ll be thirty seconds,” he says and sprints off.

Jimin nudges Taehyung. “I bet that won’t be the last time he says that tonight,” he sniggers, the freaky bitch, and Yoongi smacks him.

Jeongguk reappears a few minutes later, dressed in sinfully tight black pants and an oversized black jumper to protect his modesty. He’s got a beanie on and he grabs his face mask, hoisting up his overnight bag. “Have you got a coat?” Yoongi asks.

“I don’t need one,” Jeongguk replies.

“You’ll be cold.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Get a coat.”

Jeongguk groans but disappears. “It’s more like you’re his mom than his boyfriend,” Jimin points out.

“What are you, fucking jealous?” Yoongi snaps weakly.

“Definitely. Tae-Tae and I are going to stay in and watch rom-coms and eat ice cream all evening, crying about how we’d be happy if only we had a man like Min Yoongi in our lives.”

Jeongguk reappears with Namjoon in tow. “I’m leaving it in the car,” Jeongguk says sulkily.

“You’ll thank me later,” Yoongi replies.

Namjoon gives him a nod. “Good luck with the apartment hunting,” he says, “Stay safe, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“That limits their options a little bit, don’t you think?” Jimin muses.

“Do you ever stop?” Jeongguk asks him. Jimin thinks for a minute. “No,” he shrugs, and pecks them both on the cheek. “Have fun, try not to break the bed.”

Downstairs, Yoongi and Jeongguk climb into the car. Yoongi starts the engine and leans over to fiddle with the radio, tucking his face mask under his chin. As he does so, Jeongguk grabs his hand and pulls him in for a kiss. “I’ve been wanting to do that all morning,” he says quietly.

Yoongi kisses him again, cupping his face. He has to pull away when Jeongguk starts to rub his knee. “We need to go,” he says, leaning in for another kiss.

“I’m not stopping you.”

“Your hand on my leg says different.”

“What this? I’d be touching your dick if I really wanted to distract you.”

Yoongi sits back and does up his seatbelt. “Find a station that you like.”

“Can we get bubble tea?” Jeongguk asks as he takes over the role of radio station chooser.

“…If there’s time.”

They drive to the address Yoongi’s estate agent gave him, stopping at a drive through for refreshments along the way. Jeongguk keeps his hand on Yoongi’s knee the whole way there, chatting away happily or humming along with the radio, speech interspersed with little sips of cool bubble tea.

The estate agent greets them, beaming wide and happy when she sees them. “Min Yoongi-ssi, it’s good to see you again,” she greets. “Perhaps today we’ll find the one?”

They follow her into the first listed apartment. It’s a moderate size, all white walls and big windows. Yoongi likes it. He doesn’t want an apartment that’s too big, uncomfortable with the idea of living somewhere too spacious that he worries he will never be able to fill. This apartment has a beautiful view of the Seoul skyline. Yoongi’s main concern is whether a room will be big enough to be converted into a studio for him to put all his recording equipment.

He spends a good fifteen minutes looking, before Jeongguk drifts over, winding their hands together. “What do you think?” he asks, as he always does. Jeongguk hums.

“The view is beautiful,” he begins.

Yoongi gazes at him. “It is,” he agrees.

“But I’m not sure about the flooring.”

“Oh?” Yoongi asks.

“Yeah, I don’t like the colour of the wood. It doesn’t scream Yoongi hyung to me, you know?”

Yoongi is smirking now. “If you say so.”

“I think you should look at another one.”

Yoongi pecks his cheek and finds the estate agent. “I think I’d like to see the other options,” he says, “If that’s possible.”

She gives them the address and they climb into the car, driving to the other apartment. When Yoongi asks what Jeongguk thinks, he shrugs. “It’s nice,” he says.

“But…?” “

But I don’t like the shape of the bathroom. The layout is too cramped.”

On their way to the third listing, Jeongguk drags Yoongi into the backseat. Thank god for tinted windows, Yoongi thinks, as Jeongguk kisses him desperately, squeezing his ass and grinding against him. “God, you make me so horny,” Jeongguk moans against his mouth.

“And you’re making me very late.”

“Just a hand job, Yoongi, please?”

“Hyung.”

“Let me suck you off, hyung.” Jeongguk leans back and gazes up at him with sultry bedroom eyes. “I’m starving for your cum.”

Yoongi makes a gross noise. “Really? That’s your pick-up line?”

He climbs back into the front seat. Jeongguk sits up, huffing. “Well it’s true,” he mumbles, clambering rather inelegantly into the passenger seat. “I want your dick.”

“Be patient, brat.” Yoongi gives him a sly grin. “That comes later.”

The third apartment is unfurnished, but it is by far and away Yoongi’s favourite. The floor is polished marble, with big windows that stretch across the length of the wall. There’s space for a big kitchen, which Yoongi knows his parents would appreciate and approve off, and three bedrooms; one of which would be perfect for his studio space. “I love it,” he says to Jeongguk.

Jeongguk makes a face. “I’m still not convinced,” he says. Yoongi looks around. He could imagine himself living here.

“I really love it,” he says and Jeongguk squirms.

“But you’ll keep looking, right?”

“I don’t see why I’d need to, if this is the one that I want.”

“Oh.” Jeongguk looks disappointed. He’s sulking now. Yoongi ignores it in favour of giving Jeongguk’s ass a pinch. He tracks down the estate agent. “I think this is the one.” She looks relieved; this is Yoongi’s fifth time looking for an apartment. “I’d like to be informed if anything else becomes available, but I think it’s pretty safe to say I’d like to take this one.”

“I’ll start getting the paperwork ready,” she says, bowing. Yoongi bows back, as does Jeongguk. The younger boy is still having a strop.

In the car, he flicks the radio dial back and forth. Yoongi eventually turns it off. “I know why you’re upset,” he says, “Don’t think you were being sly.”

“Huh?”

“You like looking at the apartments with me.” Jeongguk bites his lip. “You like it because it gets us away from everyone for a while.” J

eongguk nods and then sighs. “It’s not just that. It…it’s silly.”

Yoongi reaches over and strokes his hand. “Tell me.”

“Well…it was just like…I could pretend…pretend that we were looking for an apartment to live in together, you know? Like a real couple would do.” Yoongi’s heart swells with love. “Baby, we are a real couple.”

“Not like real, real,” Jeongguk points out. He rubs at the dashboard uselessly. “Like, I can’t hold your hand in public or give you love bites or leave cute pictures of you on social media. We've been together for ages now, but when have we ever gone on a date. One that was just us; not with one of the other's tagging along to make it look all platonic and shit.”

Since that fateful morning three months ago, Yoongi and Jeongguk had been on their best behaviour. Although they felt victorious in their win against their label, they didn’t want to push their luck, and so they barely touched each other in public. In the dorm even, it was a nightmare for them to do the things a normal couple would without subjecting someone to overhearing them. Namjoon and Seokjin complained about the smell of spunk in their rooms, whilst Hoseok claimed he could hear them giving each other head in the shower. Jimin and Taehyung had walked in on them making out more times than Yoongi can count.

It wasn’t ideal.

“But it’s not all about that, is it?” he soothes, stroking Jeongguk’s knuckles. “You and I know it, that’s all that matters.”

“I mean, I guess,” Jeongguk sighs. They arrive at their hotel and get checked in. It’s expensive and discreet; exactly what Yoongi wanted for tonight. He even went as far as to booking two rooms to avoid suspicion, although one’s bed will not have a body in it tonight.

They use the two rooms to shower and wash up for dinner. Yoongi is waiting outside Jeongguk’s door, dressed in his favourite smart casual attire. Jeongguk opens the door, stepping out, and Yoongi’s breath catches.

Jeongguk’s changed into a set of leather pants. Yoongi can see the muscles of his legs when he walks, and his shirt is plain white but simple and smart. He’s put a bit of makeup on as well, smoking out his lash line and his lips shine subtly with gloss. “You look beautiful,” Yoongi murmurs and Jeongguk blushes. “I’d ask to kiss you, but I don’t think we’d ever make it to dinner,” Yoongi teases.

“As much as I’d like that, I’m starving,” Jeongguk replies. He looks around and then says, “You look good…like, really good.” Yoongi can’t quite hide his blush.

He's conscious of what Jeongguk said earlier, and he holds his hand in the elevator ride down. Jeongguk's blush intensifies, but he can't hide his happy smile.

They eat dinner in the restaurant of the hotel. It’s not overly busy; it’s an expensive hotel, so the only people who will be eating here are those already paying a fortune to stay in one of the rooms.

Yoongi likes it because it gives them the illusion of privacy. They stay tucked away in a corner booth, sitting opposite one another and flirting quietly over a glass of wine, which quickly turns into two glasses, and then three. They order way too much food, used to ordering enough to feed seven hungry men, but the two of them feel the need to finish it all, less it be seen as being disrespectful.

They drink more wine as they eat, and Yoongi feel’s Jeongguk’s hand brush his thigh under the table on several occasions.

By the time they’re ready to go back to the hotel room, they’re quite tipsy and stumbling a little. They hold onto each other for support, with Jeongguk draping himself across Yoongi’s back as he fishes the hotel room key out of his pocket.

“We ate too much food,” Yoongi groans as he gets the door open. Jeongguk pulls him in, giggling. They collapse on to the bed and cuddle up together.

Jeongguk stifles a burp. “I haven’t eaten that much in a while,” he admits. “I feel all bloated and full.”

“Whoa, so sexy,” Yoongi teases, kicking off his shoes and then reaching down to take of Jeongguk’s. He decides to tickle the sensitive soles of his feet whilst he’s down there and Jeongguk shrieks and kicks.

“Hyung, no, stop, Yoongi!” he squirms as Yoongi tickles his sides. They lie side by side, giggling, and then Jeongguk is rolling over and kissing him.

It’s gentle at first, just a solid press of their mouths, and then Yoongi strokes the seam of Jeongguk’s mouth with his tongue and Jeongguk is letting him in. It grows hotter and heavier, as Jeongguk moans softly, one hand coming around to stroke roughly through Yoongi’s hair, fisting it and forcing his head back.

Yoongi gathers the bottom of Jeongguk’s shirt and eases it over his head, throwing it somewhere in the room before reattaching their mouths. He sits up carefully, never stopping the kiss as he does so and moves Jeongguk onto his back, getting the younger boy comfortable as he starts to press soft kisses into Jeongguk’s neck. He kisses down far enough that Jeongguk’s shirt will cover and then starts to suck, enjoying the small moan Jeongguk gives at the feeling. Jeongguk’s nails rake over his skin in random teasing patterns.

“Yoongi…”

They stopped using honorifics in the bedroom a few weeks ago. Yoongi didn’t like the way it gave him power over Jeongguk. It’s the only time that Yoongi doesn’t mind when he doesn’t use them. “Yeah, baby?”

“I want you to fuck me tonight…”

Yoongi looks up at him, leaning up to kiss his deeply. Their tongues rub together, and Yoongi looks under his lashes at the sinful way Jeongguk’s eyes have slid shut, how he angles his neck to get maximum pleasure from the kiss. “You sure?” he asks and Jeongguk nods.

“Been wanting it for so long,” he moans.

Yoongi nods and kisses back down his chest. He wants to fuck Jeongguk, but he also wants to make the most of this night, and have it be as pleasurable as possible. “How well did you clean yourself?” he asks against Jeongguk’s nipple.

Jeongguk’s eyes widen and he moans, because he knows what that question means. “Well,” he whimpers. “Yoongi…”

Yoongi undoes his pants and gets off the bed to tug them off, leaving Jeongguk in just his boxers.

“Take them off,” he says as he stands up to take off his own clothes. Jeongguk listens, throwing his boxers over the side of the bed whilst Yoongi takes off his shirt. “Touch yourself, get yourself hard,” he says.

Jeongguk obeys, jerking himself off as Yoongi loses his own pants and boxers and climbs onto the bed, leaning down to suck his thigh. Jeongguk’s fist keeps bumping his forehead as he wanks himself and Yoongi pulls back, marvelling at the impressive bruise on Jeongguk’s thigh. “Turn over for me,” he says. He helps get Jeongguk positioned how he wants him; on all fours with his knees spread and his ass pushed into the air.

“Yoongi…” Jeongguk gasps. He sways his ass in a way that makes Yoongi’s mouth water, flexing his thighs and Yoongi’s dick jumps. He slaps Jeongguk’s ass cheek, hard enough to be a warning, and Jeongguk chokes.

“Behave,” Yoongi mumbles. He slides onto his elbows, kissing up one of Jeongguk’s muscular thighs and then dipping his chin, licking a firm stripe up the back of his thigh. Jeongguk sucks in a breath and trembles, pressing his forehead into the duvet.

Yoongi slides his tongue up, up and up, over to the firm skin of Jeongguk’s right ass cheek. He kisses it and then bites him gently, relishing the whimper Jeongguk gives. “Please…” he hears him beg.

Yoongi kisses his other cheek and then uses his hands to spread them apart, looking at Jeongguk’s hole. He leans forwards and kisses him there. Jeongguk quivers. Yoongi begins to place little teasing licks around and on his hole and the skin surrounding it. He pinches and squeezes the globes of Jeongguk’s butt, letting go and then smacking his palms against the flesh every so often, watching them jiggle and enjoying the way Jeongguk’s breath would catch as he did it.

After a few minutes, Yoongi’s chin is wet with spit and he’s hard against the bed. Jeongguk has begun to rock his hips unconsciously against Yoongi’s face, silently begging for more. “Do it…” he begs, “Do it, please, Yoongi.”

Yoongi leans back and presses his thumb against Jeongguk’s hole, watching how it flutters with the pressure. “Do what, baby? What do you want in you?”

“Your tongue, please, put it in me…I want you to lick me so bad,” Jeongguk moans. Yoongi removes his thumb and spits in his hole before he dives in and points his tongue. He buries his head between Jeongguk’s legs, licking and sucking and prodding. All the while, Jeongguk sobs into the pillow.

“Touch yourself,” Yoongi commands, moving with the way Jeongguk’s hips are humping the air, never pulling his face out from between Jeongguk’s ass cheeks. He can tell when Jeongguk starts to jerk himself off, because his hole starts cramping around Yoongi’s tongue.

Jeongguk’s moans become a bit louder and much more frequent. “I’m gonna cum,” he moans into the pillow. Yoongi sucks on his rim and Jeongguk goes boneless. “I’m coming…” he groans as he orgasms, cum coating his fist and dripping onto the bedsheets. Yoongi keeps going; it turns him on, having his tongue put to work, and he likes how mushy and cum drunk Jeongguk becomes after Yoongi’s made him come like this.

Due to the length of time it takes, and the fact that Yoongi likes to be thorough, they don’t get to do this very often. Yoongi loves it though; he gets high off of the smell of Jeongguk, and he likes how wet his face gets with saliva and cum and lube. Jeongguk collapses onto his belly when Yoongi pulls away, grinding against the sheets as Yoongi goes hunting for lube.

“Your tongue…” he moans happily. Yoongi fishes the new bottle out of his bag and settles back between Jeongguk’s thighs, kissing up his back and shoulder blades. “’M gonna finger you now, ok?” “Fuck yeah.” Jeongguk turns his head. “Kiss me?” he begs. Yoongi drizzles lube on his fingers and leans over, teases him by pressing their noses together.

“You sure? You know where my mouth’s just been.”

“I don’t mind it so much when it was my ass you were eating.”

“Fuck,” Yoongi mutters, kissing him hungrily as he teases one finger into Jeongguk’s hole. The younger man is already looser from the intense rimming Yoongi just gave him, his orgasm relaxing his muscles, and Yoongi’s finger goes in with little to no fuss. “Fucking filthy mouth on you.”

“I learned from the best,” Jeongguk mumbled, grunting as he pushed back against Yoongi’s finger. “I can take two, gimme another one.”

Yoongi bites his lip. “What did I say about patience?” He sits back so he’s straddling the back of Jeongguk’s legs, and places a hand on his waist so he can start to finger him like he means business.

“Fuck yes,” Jeongguk sighs happily. He lifts his hips and gets onto his knees, allowing himself to open up easier as Yoongi crooks and curls his fingers inside of him, seeking out his prostate.

“I’m gonna add three,” Yoongi says when he feels like Jeongguk is loose enough for it. Jeongguk’s hips have been working in little circles for a while now, grinding back on Yoongi’s fore and middle finger.

Yoongi removes his hand and adds more lube to his fingers. He squeezes some directly into Jeongguk’s hole as well and eases his three fingers inside, shuddering at the lewd squelch it makes. “You’re so fucking wet,” he gasps, his mouth running away from him in his aroused state. “It’s like it’s your fucking pussy or something.”

Jeongguk moans unexpectedly loud at that; they both pause. Yoongi works his fingers in slow circles. He thinks he might be on to something, so he says, “You like the thought of your pussy getting wet for me?”

“Fuck, what the hell?” Jeongguk grits out and Yoongi chances a peek; Jeongguk’s dick is hard and red against his belly, slowly trickling pre-cum. “I didn’t know that was a turn on, I swear,” Jeongguk moans.

Yoongi stores feminization away under his Kinks to Explore Later file that he keeps in his head. He rocks his fingers and Jeongguk groans. “Oh…”

“There?” Yoongi presses against the little nub he feels and Jeongguk goes onto his elbows, back bowing.

“Shit, there,” he agrees, pushing back against Yoongi’s fingers.

Yoongi looks at the way Jeongguk is stretched around his three fingers. He wonders if he could fit a fourth in. Jeongguk moans and Yoongi realises he’d said this out loud.

“You put a fourth one in me, I’ll come,” Jeongguk warns.

“Baby, one of these days I want to put a whole fist in you.”

“Shitting hell!” Jeongguk’s hole contracts around his fingers and Yoongi pauses as Jeongguk moans.

“Fuck, did you just come again?”

“…Uh…huh…” Jeongguk groans. He’s twitchy and oversensitive. Yoongi pulls his fingers out. It looks like he’ll only be getting a blow job tonight. He tries not to feel too disappointed. “Hyung, what are you waiting for…?” Jeongguk whines.

Yoongi shudders at the honorific. It turns him on too much when he hears it. “What do you mean?”

“I thought you were going to fuck me,” Jeongguk pouts.

“You’ve just come for the second time in half an hour.”

“And?” Jeongguk glances at him over his shoulder. “Come on, put your dick in me.”

“Jesus.” Yoongi thinks he might die soon. “You’re sure?”

“Come on.”

“How do you want it?”

Jeongguk shakily rises to all fours. He likes it doggy style; Yoongi suspects that Jeongguk enjoys the roughness of it, how animalistic it feels. “Like this,” he confirms.

Yoongi climbs behind him and strokes lube over his own cock. He shudders at his touch. “Jin hyung gave me condoms today,” he mentions as he lines himself up. Jeongguk laughs weakly.

“What a mother hen,” he chuckles, the end turning into a moan as Yoongi pushes in. “Like we’d use them…”

Yoongi was normally a big advocate of safe sex, but regular STI check-ups were common in boybands. Yoongi can safely say he has a clean bill of health. He pushes in till his hips are flush against Jeongguk’s ass.

“You think you can get hard again?”

“I don’t know.” Jeongguk wriggles his hips. “Maybe. Fuck me good and we’ll see.”

Yoongi begins to rock his hips, thrusts building up till he is pumping in and out of Jeongguk. Jeongguk moans and bites at the bedsheets till Yoongi tugs the covers out of his spit wet mouth. “I want to hear you,” he says. He loves the noises that fall from Jeongguk’s mouth.

Bending over, Yoongi wraps an arm around Jeongguk’s front and pistons his hips into him. Jeongguk lets out punched “ah, ah, ah” sounds as Yoongi hits on his prostate.

Yoongi varies the pace of his hips; sometimes it’s slow, deep thrusts. Other times they’re hard and sharp. He’s grinding into Jeongguk when the younger man grabs his wrist frantically. “Let me ride you,” he begs. Yoongi moans This is his favourite position, because he likes to see big, beautiful, muscular Jeongguk falling apart with pleasure on top of him.

He pulls out and lies on his back. Jeongguk wobbles to get on top of him and then he’s sinking down, instantly rolling his hips. He’s using everything he ever learned from dancing to grind himself down on Yoongi’s cock, head thrown back and sweat glistening down his gorgeous chest. Yoongi touches him all over, licking up his neck and over his chin to kiss him on the mouth as he fists Jeongguk’s dick. Jeongguk’s dick is hard but his balls are empty, and when he starts making those noises that tell Yoongi he’s going to cum, he knows not to expect much.

Jeongguk holds him tight and spews filthy words into his ear. “Fucking come in me, Yoongi. Wanna feel you fill me up; make my ass yours, fill my pussy, I fucking dare you-”

Yoongi groans as Jeongguk tightens around him. His hips snap up, once, twice and then he’s coming in Jeongguk, moaning and grinding his hips. Jeongguk squeezes him and Yoongi chews on his nipple as he jerks his dick and teases Jeongguk’s rim with his fingers. Jeongguk tenses and then comes a third time. His dick spits out a weak few dribbles of pearly cum before Jeongguk slumps against him. They’re both sweaty and panting, unsure where one body ends and the other begins.

Jeongguk carefully climbs off of him and collapses next to Yoongi, legs boneless and jelly like. “Fucking hell…” he breathes. Yoongi couldn’t agree more.

They kiss for what feels like forever. Eventually, Jeongguk kisses down Yoongi’s body and sucks his soft dick into his mouth; the feeling has Yoongi pressing his hands to his eyes and nearly crying with pleasure. Jeongguk may have been inexperienced with his sexual partners, but they didn’t call him the Golden Maknae for nothing. Like most things he did, Jeongguk was exceptionally good at giving head with seemingly little practice.

When Yoongi has come a second time, he shoves Jeongguk away. “I want to go for a third,” Jeongguk whines but Yoongi is done for now.

“I don’t have your stamina anymore,” he reminds Jeongguk, cuddling the younger boy beside him. “Daddy’s busy now, sleep is calling.”

“Daddy, huh?” Jeongguk wiggles an eyebrow and Yoongi rolls his eyes. “You want to be my daddy, Yoongi?”

“I want you to get cleaned up and shower,” Yoongi replies. “I mean, I’d rather wait until tomorrow morning and have you fuck me again with your cum still in me from tonight,” Jeongguk says casually and Yoongi’s dick, despite knowing he couldn’t possibly go another round, gives a valiant twitch.

“That’s something we’re totally doing,” he agrees. Jeongguk kisses his chest and snuggles up beside him under the duvet.

“I was thinking about getting a plug as well,” he says and Yoongi groans.

“You’re going to make me hard again. I can’t get hard again.”

“Maybe one that vibrates?”

“I really have corrupted you, haven’t I?”

Jeongguk giggles and gives him a kiss. “I love you,” he says quietly, reaching up and stroking Yoongi’s face.

“I love you,” Yoongi replies, “So much.” He kisses Jeongguk’s palm. “And I was thinking.”

“Mm?” “That apartment I was looking at today had a second bedroom. If you ever got sick of the dorm, and needed a change of scene, you can come and stay with me.”

Jeongguk frowns. “Like…sleep in a different bed?”

“You’d sleep with me, idiot. The bed is there to keep up appearances. What I mean is, if you wanted to get an idea of what it would be like, just living together as the two of us…I’d quite like that.”

Jeongguk smiles, and it’s like the sun rising, a kite soaring in the breeze, a lantern floating in the dark. “I’d like that too,” he says.

They fall asleep, wrapped up in each other’s arms and Yoongi dreams of that apartment. He sees a portable recording studio, a station set up for gaming, and perhaps a dog or two.

In the corner of the room, by one of the big windows that overlooks the Seoul skyline and looking completely out of place but somehow so at home, will sit an old homemade red kite, crafted out of two twigs and a sheet of paper.

He reckons he could still make that kite fly.

And this time, Jeongguk will be there to help him fly it.