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Language:
English
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Published:
2018-07-29
Words:
913
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
12
Kudos:
228
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I Don't Deserve This

Summary:

Even the most blazing of villains has insecurities and self-doubts.

Notes:

Hey! I hope you enjoyed my first fic! I am petrified of what people will think about this but I can't improve unless someone reads this damn thing. I'm not sure if the structure or the grammar is correct, so if you would be so nice as to tell me how I can improve in writing reader-inserts and just writing in general, it would be super.

❤ Thank you for reading! ❤

Work Text:

"I don't deserve this."

After lifting open the window as quietly as he possibly could, Dabi crawled in and gently shut it behind himself. While taking off his shoes, he wondered what one would think if they saw someone like him in a place like this. Plants and succulents were strewn about the rooms from hanging baskets and tiny pots on various windowsills. Scented candles of varying sizes were placed on tables and countertops. The vaulted ceiling had paper lanterns hanging at different heights to give off the illusion that they were actually floating. In the living room, a fluffy, oversized blanket was draped over the kotatsu with the floor-level couch surrounding most of it. The kitchen counters were decorated with flowers and fruits. The apartment was too small for his taste, but she deemed it as "cozy." 

She.

Dabi walked to the other side of the living room and looked up the ladder that was attached to the space above. With a smile, he hoisted himself up.

You were fast asleep on your sunken-in loft bed. The layers of duvets and blankets covering you were supposed to be a replacement for him because of his high body temperature. You always claimed to be cold, so he always felt slightly guilty for being gone for days or weeks at a time. It's not like he wanted to be gone, you knew that, but that didn't make the heaviness in his heart go away. In a quick attempt to make up for lost time, Dabi maneuvered around the small space as quietly as he could. 

He didn’t want to wake you up just yet.

Sitting next to the bed, he took his jacket, shirt, and jeans off. He slowly lifted the covers and smiled smugly to himself to find you in your favorite sleeping bra and underwear. As he slowly made himself comfortable in the bed, he shifted so that he was hovering over your sleeping form. Dabi always found himself taking the time to appreciate how soft you were. Your skin was so smooth; not as scarred and fucked-up as his was. Not being able to help himself, he grazed his thumb over your cheek.

Your eyebrows knit together as you start to wake up. Reaching up to rub your eyes, you brush against calloused skin, which makes your eyes snap open almost immediately. Dabi felt his heart melt when your gaze met his. Normal people would have been repulsed if the first sight they woke up to was him. But you… you had the happiest smile on your face.

“Dabi?”

“Hey, sleeping beauty,” he said, a smirk coming back to his face, “Did you miss m—?”

Before he could even finish talking, you already had your arms around his neck and hugged him like your life depended on it, “I’ve missed you so much!”

Dabi felt a pang in his chest at the sound of that. You sounded like you were on the verge of tears. He moved onto his side and pulled you into a warm embrace. “I know, sweetheart… please, don’t cry. I don’t like being away from you either. I just… I don’t know what I would do if someone found out about us. A villain- no, even a ‘hero’ would take you and use you as a fucking bribe.”

You felt his grip around you become tighter, and you nuzzled your head against his chest to try to calm him down.

“You don’t know, sweetheart,” Dabi said as he rested his chin on top of your head, his tone dropping dangerously low, “You don’t know what I’d do if someone took you from me…”

A shiver ran down your spine. “I have a vague idea.”

Dabi raised his hand a few inches up and away from you, igniting his blue flames on his palm, “I’d burn down everything in my way. No matter who took you… I’d find them and make them pay for even looking at you.”

“You don’t have to do that, I don’t deserve—"

“The one person who doesn’t deserve anything is me!” The fire in his hand extinguished so he could hold you tight against his chest once more, "I come with a fuck-ton of baggage. My family life was shit. My quirk has disfigured almost half of my body. I've tortured people. I've killed people. I'm a villain."

“I don’t deserve this,” Dabi said as he slowly looked up at you, his eyes red and puffy but he refused to cry, “I don’t deserve your love.”

Carefully moving your hands to his face, you ran your thumbs along the staples under his eyes, "Dabi… No matter what you do, you'll always deserve my love."

He looked down at you, but you didn’t meet his gaze, hiding your face in his chest as you continued, “I worry about you, too. I wake up every day and pray that you’ll be okay. I know you’re strong. I know you’re brave. Even though I’m training to be a hero, even though I know I’m not supposed to be with you…”

Dabi felt his entire body temperature drop a few degrees when you looked up at him with tears in your eyes. “Even though I know I don’t deserve to be protected and loved by you, I don’t know if I would ever forgive myself if something bad ever happened to you.”

In an instant, Dabi felt like he could be on fire.

“I don’t deserve this.”