Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s 11pm when Otabek’s cell phone starts ringing, and he pauses his show on Netflix as he scrambles to pick it up. He sees the caller ID (Yura) and wonders why his boyfriend is calling; both of them autistic, and they both share the common trait of not being very good on the phone. So for Yuri to be calling is a bit weird.

“Beka?” Yuri says.

“Hi, Yuri. it’s a bit late, isn’t it?

“Yeah, I guess so. Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” Otabek says, staring to wonder if something is wrong. “I’m just on Netflix. I’m really in A Series of Unfortunate Events right now. Is everything okay?”

“Not… not really,” Yuri says, and he lets out a long, slow sigh. “It’s fucking pathetic… but I’m just so scared.”

“Why are you scared, Yura?” he says, sitting upright so quickly he knocks his iPad off of his lap.

Yuri sighs again, hesitating. “My… my grandpa’s really sick. He… he collapsed and it looked like a heart attack and I called an ambulance and… they said it was a heart attack and they took him to hospital and now I’m alone in the house and I don’t know what the fuck’s gonna happen to him.”

Otabek hears a thud, and has a feeling that Yuri just kicked something.

“Try to calm down, Yuri—”

“Don’t talk to me like a fucking therapist, Beka!” Yuri shouts, his voice wavering. “I can’t calm down. What if he dies? He’s all I’ve fucking got. I…”

Yuri cuts himself off with a jagged sob, and Otabek has to sit there listening to his boyfriend crying with no possible way to help him. He has no idea how to comfort him (thank you, shit social skills), knowing he would be like this if one of his relatives had just had a heart attack.

Eventually, Yuri calms down on his own. His breathing is jagged as he whispers, “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay,” Otabek says. “I’m sure your grandpa will pull through.”

Yuri makes a scoffing sound, but Otabek hears him whisper, “Thanks.”

The next morning, he gets another call from Yuri, and learns his grandfather is going to recover. He smiles whilst Yuri laughs from sheer relief on the other end of the line.

---

Otabek sighs as he sits at the edge of the rink, sipping water and watching his fellow skaters practise on the ice. It has been over a month since he last saw Yuri (and that was only at a competition; Yuri came first and Otabek came third), and he misses him. Having a long distance relationship is hard.

Still, he has a few minutes until his coach will yell for him to start practising again. Otabek grabs his phone and dials Yuri’s number. Thankfully, Yuri picks up.

“Hey, Beka,” Yuri says. “Why are you phoning? Shouldn’t you be at practise right now?”

Otabek smiles; it’s amazing how much he and Yuri know of each other’s routines. In fact, it’s for this very reason that he knew it was fine to phone Yuri now, because he should be on his one hour lunch break that Coach Yakov insists they all take.

“Yeah, but I’m taking a quick break,” he says.

“Still, why are you phoning?” Yuri asks, and he can tell Yuri has a confused scowl on his face.

Otabek hesitates, hoping he won’t start blushing. “Well… I just miss you, to be honest.”

“Fucking sappy bastard,” Yuri says, clearly rolling his eyes.

He laughs, wondering why Yuri swears so much.

But then Yuri says, “I miss you too, though. I hate long distance relationships. Do you wanna Skype me later?”

“That sounds like a plan,” he says, smiling.

“Otabek, get back on the ice!” his coach calls.

“Sorry, I’ve got to go,” Otabek babbles, and Yuri laughs his head off.

---

“Uh, you know, sometimes I can’t stand this lot,” Yuri says, leaning against the wall outside the ice rink as he talks into his phone.

“What happened now?” Otabek says, a hint of exasperation in his voice that makes Yuri want to swear at him.

“Nothing, I just… you know how some people get on your tits?”

“No,” Otabek says, but he chuckles and Yuri rolls his eyes.

“Anyway, sometimes people just piss me off for no reason. It’s like that with this lot.”

“What, the other skaters at your rink?”

“Exactly. Victor and Yuuri are the sappiest couple I’ve ever met; they’re always calling each other pet names and, God, it makes me wanna throw up. Mila is like the big sister I never wanted, harassing me and taunting me about me dating you and my costumes and everything. And Georgi is a pathetic bastard who has a breakdown that lasts for months when a girl dumps them. Fuck, they’re annoying.”

He hears Otabek laugh, and adds, “Sorry for venting at you.”

“No, it’s fine. My fellow skaters annoy me sometimes… I just don’t swear as much when I slag them off.”

“Oh shut the fuck up,” Yuri says, but he can’t keep the smile off of his face.

It’s amazing; venting about them all (he doesn’t hate his fellow skaters; he just spends so much time with them they start to aggravate him) to Otabek has made him feel a lot better.

---

Yuri scowls, kicking his bedroom door so hard it makes his toes click. He shut his laptop with a snap a few minutes ago, but he can still see those words.

He thought telling the press he’s autistic would stop people making comments about him being a socially awkward weirdo, but it’s just made it fucking worse. People are talking about him on the internet, and some of the things they said made him want to throw up.

He’s not autistic. Calling him autistic is an insult to all the low functioning people who really struggle. He’s just a brat who uses the label to get away with being horrible to people.

Yuri Plisetsky is autistic? No way! My Yuri isn’t a retard! Who is spreading such horrible rumours about him?

I always thought he was messed up in the head. No wonder he acts like such a brat if he’s got autism.

Those were the worst, but so many make him want to be sick. The bastards! How dare these random people bitch about him on the internet?!

Shit, he wants to scream.

But he doesn’t, instead picking up his phone and calling Otabek.

“Fucking hell, Beka, have you seen this shit?!” he cries the moment Otabek picks up, running his free hand through his hair.

“I… I have,” Otabek says slowly. “I’m so sorry, Yuri. People are assholes.”

“I know that! I want them to stop!”

“I know. But I think we should just ignore them and report them if they get even worse, and then everyone will get over it and leave you alone.”

He sighs heavily. Why is Beka always the voice of reason?

“And I’ve read what they all said. You’re not the r-word, Yura. You’re not a brat… well, you are a brat, but not because you’re autistic.”

Yuri laughs weakly at Otabek’s attempt at a joke.

“They’re all ignorant bastards who troll on the internet because they can,” Otabek says. “I know it hurts, but… it’ll be okay.”

He sighs, tugging at his hair.

But Otabek is right.

“Thank… thanks, Beka. It means a lot.”

“No problem, Yura.”

He breathes shakily, rubbing his sore foot. It’s always embarrassing to say, but he says it anyway. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Chapter Text

Otabek has always struggled with speech; he had a speech delay as a kid and it still doesn’t come naturally to him.

He didn’t say his first word until he was five, and his speech delay was part of the reason why people actually got him diagnosed as autistic. Until he was ten, Otabek could only speak in three or four word sentences at a time, and had to force them out so much his voice became very flat. In fact, it’s only very recently in the scheme of things that he has been capable of speaking fluently.

And because speech has never been his natural communication method, it makes sense that the ability to speak is the first thing to go when he starts going into a meltdown. On days when he is stressed, Otabek just can’t seem to speak, leaving him feeling like his helpless four year old self, who tried to communicate with people but didn’t know how.

Except these days there are ways to communicate when you can’t actually speak. There is sign language, but it has many different forms and Otabek only knows fragments in American Sign Language, only enough to say, ‘please’, ‘help’ and that sort of thing.

And there are AAC devices, but they are expensive and cumbersome, so Otabek uses an app on his phone instead. His app can work in many languages, meaning it doesn’t matter where he is, as he can communicate despite the language barriers that may exist. Yes, this is definitely the best option he has found to date.

Yuri, his boyfriend, is also autistic, but speech problems have never really affected him. He sometimes gets a bit quiet and monotonous when he’s overwhelmed, but Yuri didn’t have a speech delay. Still, he finds the AAC useful and has the same app on his own phone.

“An app that converts what you type into speech is fucking awesome,” Yuri says one day, opening the app on his own phone and typing into it.

Seconds later, his phone says robotically: “Fuck off!”

Otabek stares at him, wondering what the hell Yuri is doing.

Seeing him staring, Yuri raises his eyebrows and says, “What?”

“Nothing,” Otabek says. “I was just wondering why you’re doing that.”

“Are you honestly saying you’ve never made it swear, Beka?”

“No, because I use my AAC to actually communicate when I’m nonverbal, not to…” Otabek hesitates, trying to think of the most Yuri-ish phrase possible. Smiling, he finishes, “Not to dick about.”

“I don’t dick about!” Yuri says, but his scowl is faltering and a smile twitches at the corners of his mouth.

Soon, Yuri is laughing hysterically, slumped against Otabek as he laughs. And Otabek just looks at him, wondering what just happened to his boyfriend, but starts to chuckle too.

But in all seriousness, Otabek would be lost without his AAC. Yuri is amazing at interpreting what he’s trying to say from his body language and the few things he can get out of his mouth (something only Otabek’s mother can do better than him), but other people aren’t like that. So when he is away from Yuri (which is almost always, because they live in different countries and rarely actually spend time together in person) that sort of thing doesn’t work. Without his AAC, he wouldn’t be able to do things independently. It’s really important to him.

Another day, Otabek gets to meet up with Yuri again. Like most of their meet-ups, it is at a competition, this time in Moscow. Yuri loves having competitions in his home country, and agrees to meet Otabek off of the airplane.

Unfortunately, his flight doesn’t go well. They go through turbulence and the man in the seat next to him is too loud, and Otabek spends the relatively short time in the air with his jaw gritted and his hands clenched into tight, trembling fists. He feels his ability to speak slipping away, exhausted just from the flight and wanting to see Yuri.

So when he finally arrives at the airport, Otabek grabs his phone so he can use his AAC app. He locates Yuri in the crowds (scowling, his headphones in and his hands shoved into his pockets), and hurries towards him.

When Yuri spots him, his scowl turns into a grins and he bolts through the crowds, elbowing people out of the way. And Yuri literally jumps on him, legs wrapped around Otabek’s hips as he pulls him into a hug. They must look ridiculous right now, but Otabek can’t bring himself to care.

“It’s so good to see you, Beka,” Yuri says, smiling as he kisses Otabek repeatedly. “How are you?”

Otabek shrugs his shoulders, mouthing, “Nonverbal.”

Yuri is quite good at reading lips, so he nods, the smile slipping from his face. “Are you okay?”

He unlocks his phone and opens his AAC app. “Just a stressful flight. I’m fine. How are you?”

“Uh, I’m fine,” Yuri says. “Look, if you’re not feeling too good, wanna go somewhere less noisy?”

Otabek smiles. “Good idea. Thanks, Yura.”

He and Yuri relocate to a nice coffee shop, where they pick a table in a corner and Otabek sighs at how nice it feels to be somewhere quiet. Yuri orders them both a coffee and leans across the table to look at Otabek, reaching for his hand. He interlocks their fingers and Otabek squeezes his hand.

A while later, Otabek sips his coffee and looks at Yuri. His boyfriend is, despite how he acts around a lot of people, very caring in his own way, and knows better than most people how Otabek feels right now.

And even though he isn’t the sort of person to do this sort of thing in public, Otabek leans across the table and presses a quick kiss to Yuri’s lips.

“Beka,” Yuri says, touching his lips.

A second later, Yuri has kissed him back. Otabek blushes, unlocking his phone again.

“Thank you, Yuri.”

“For what?”

“For everything you do for me. I love you.”

Yuri’s eyes widen, amazed to hear something so wonderful, especially when Otabek technically didn’t say it at all.

“Love you too,” he mumbles, his face flushing.

Chapter Text

Yuri shifts from foot to foot, unable to stand still. Adrenaline thrums through him, but he isn’t sure if the hormone rush is being caused by excitement or anxiety. But whatever the cause, he trembles with adrenaline, his heart racing, and Yuri literally can’t sit down.

All of this is pathetic, really, but Yuri is quite good at being utterly pathetic. Overacting is his forte; he may come across as a brat, but a whirlwind of emotions are hidden behind his scowl, and it doesn’t take a lot to totally overwhelming.

This time, it’s just reading something on fucking Wikipedia that has sent him into this state; a badly written article on the internet is what makes his head spin, until Yuri isn’t sure if he wants to scream or laugh.

In the end, he collapses onto his bed and rocks himself back and forth. Yuri picks up his phone and starts reading the article again, hands trembling. An article named: Asexuality.

He just can’t believe it. Is… is this really a thing? How has he never heard of this before?

But that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that… this is him. This article explains asexuality, and it just feels like it is talking about Yuri. This really is him. at sixteen years old, he has finally found his sexuality. He is asexual, and he doesn’t know if it is surprise or excitement currently overwhelming him.

This is just so important, because Yuri has always felt kind of broken. When he hit puberty and everyone around him started dating and sleeping with each other, Yuri realised he was different, because he wasn’t getting those sorts of feelings. And sex education thoroughly repulsed him. Even now he is dating Otabek, his feelings towards Beka have only ever been romantic (and he is fine with that), but he never knew why.

Until now. Because he is asexual. It all makes sense now.

He gets to his feet again, pacing around his bedroom. Yuri never realised discovering your sexuality could be so strange – although maybe this is just his autistic brain freaking out like it always does when he learns something big. Still, he feels like he has to do something lest he end up having a meltdown simply from this surge of adrenaline and confusing emotions. He could go to the rink, or he could go out to get a coffee…

Or he could just come out to Otabek. Yuri smiles; he likes that idea.

But there lies a recurring problem in his life and relationship with Otabek: their long distance relationship. Because it’s pretty damn hard to talk to his boyfriend when he lives in another country.

But at least this is the 21^st century, so he has options to talk to Otabek.

A grin twitching behind his near-permanent scowl, Yuri decides to send Otabek a text. He’s almost as bad at communicating via texts than he is over the phone, so he keeps his text short (and stilted, although that isn’t deliberate).

Me: Hey Beka. Are you free to talk about something?

He knows Otabek’s routine well, but still hopes he isn’t interrupting anything. Thankfully, Otabek replies quickly.

Beka: Sure. Want to talk over Skype instead?

Me: Okay :)

And he brings the Skype app up on his phone and calls Otabek, ready to tell him his news.

---

Wondering what Yuri could want to talk about, Otabek answers the call over Skype. As always, he sees the pixel-heavy, slightly blurred image of Yuri, and smiles. His boyfriend is wearing his pyjamas with the picture of a cat on them, and appears to be reclining in bed. But what Otabek notices most of all is the beaming smile on Yuri’s face. Whatever this ‘something’ is, it must be good to get Yuri to smile like that.

“Hi, Yuri,” he says, nodding his head. “I would’ve kept texting you, but I’ve run out of credit on my cell phone.”

“Again?” Yuri says, raising an eyebrow. “Beka, for someone who never talks to anyone, you get through your credit fucking quickly.”

Otabek rolls his eyes. “Whatever. So, what do you want to talk about?”

Yuri’s smile doesn’t falter, but a blush patterns his cheeks. Just what is going on?

“I’ve… I’ve made a discovery. And… fucking hell, why is this so hard? Uh…” Yuri trails off, and the image blurs as he moves his phone with a jolt. When the image steadies, Yuri is sat up straight, staring at the camera on his phone. “Um…”

While Yuri struggles to get his words out, Otabek simply sits there. He knows better than most people how hard it can be to turn your thoughts into words; Yuri will get there eventually, and doesn’t want to be pitied.

Sure enough, Yuri finally blurts out, “I’m asexual.”

Otabek stares at him. “Asexual?”

“Yeah, I was Googling why I don’t feel… that way towards people and… and I found asexuality. So… that’s what I am, Beka.” Yuri chuckles weakly, flicking his hair out of his eyes. “That’s my pathetic attempt at coming out.”

Otabek continues to stare at him… and smiles.

“That’s great, Yuri,” he says. “I’m not very good at this, but… I’m glad you’ve found the right label for you.”

“It just explains a lot, you know,” Yuri says. “And… at least I don’t feel broken now.”

His eyes widen slightly. “Yuri… you used to feel broken?”

Yuri shrugs a shoulder. “Yeah, sort of. About that time everyone started fucking each other I realised I didn’t feel that way around anyone.”

Otabek blinks at Yuri’s crude language, but doesn’t interrupt.

“And I started to wonder if there’s just something wrong with me. But… now I know.” He smiles again, one of those rare, beaming smiles that always make Otabek smile too. “There’s nothing wrong. This is just how I am. And fuck anyone who says otherwise.”

Otabek chuckles. “Yeah, you do that. I’m happy for you, Yura.”

And he wishes he could gives Yuri a hug and a kiss, but he can’t. He has to compromise with a smile and a promise to meet up as soon as possible.

Chapter Text

New Orleans, USA

“How is it possible to get lost in this day and age?” Otabek says, a frown pinching on his forehead.

“Because we’re fucking stupid, clearly,” Yuri mutters, hands stuffed inside his pockets.

That makes Otabek chuckle. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Still, it’s 1am and pitch black except for the streetlights, and he doesn’t feel like hanging around. America isn’t a crap hole by any means, but most places become creepy at night.

“Shitty phone,” Yuri says.

Otabek wants to say something like ‘a bad workman always blames his tools’, but Yuri has a point. They had an app up on Otabek’s phone to find their hotel after they landed at the airport at night, but they’ve ended up two whole miles out of their way.

“Hey, look!” Yuri says, suddenly perking up. He breaks into a run and Otabek has to catch up. “A tram.”

They studied the map on the wall of the tram station, and find it goes pretty near to their hotel. Thank goodness for that.

“Don’t they call these things streetcars sometimes?” Otabek says as they wait for the tram.

Yuri shrugs, smirking. “I don’t fucking know.”

Otabek chuckles. “Fair enough.”

When the tram arrives, they hand over some American currency and take a seat. They’re the only passengers, which makes sense for this time of night.

Otabek slumps in his seat, relieved they won’t be wandering around all night. He reaches for Yuri’s hand, and smiles when his boyfriend interlocks their fingers.

“A bit more relaxed now?” Yuri asks.

Otabek smiles and nods. “Yeah.”

---

Tokyo, Japan

“Shit, these things go fast,” Yuri mutters when a train speeds into the station.

“Of course they do. They’re bullet trains, Yura, the—”

“Fastest trains in the world. I know, Beka, I know.”

Otabek rolls his eyes. “Anyway, let’s get a good seat.”

Yuri nods, his competitive side coming out, and they race onto the train the moment the doors open. They rush into the carriage and find two seats by a window, and Yuri flops into the window seat, yanking Otabek down beside him.

“I wanted the window seat,” Otabek says.

Yuri smirks. “Tough shit.”

“Dork,” he mutters, slumping in his seat.

When the train starts, the scenery speeds by until it becomes a blur. Yuri grasps his hand, interlocking their fingers.

“This country’s pretty cool, you know,” Yuri says. “I don’t know why Pork Cutlet Bowl would leave Japan to go to Russia.”

“Isn’t it just because he loves Victor?”

Yuri shudders. “Don’t start.”

Otabek smiles, squeezing his boyfriend’s hand.

---

London, UK

“This map is fucking ridiculous,” Yuri says, studying the map of the London Underground on the wall. He and Otabek stand in the weirdly named ‘Elephant and Castle’ subway station, trying to work out where the fuck they have to change trains to get to the British Museum. “It’s like a migraine.”

To be fair, this map is pretty complicated. Lines symbolising the train lines snake across the page in a rainbow of different colours. If English people get lost on the London Underground, no wonder foreigners like Otabek and Yuri have gotten lost.

“It’s certainly complicated, isn’t it?” Otabek says, frowning in confusion.

If that isn’t bad enough, when the right train finally arrives at the station…

“What the fuck?” Yuri mutters.

He has a point. From what is visible through the cloudy windows, the train is crammed full of people, all of the seats long gone.

“Is this for real?” Otabek says.

Apparently it is. When they squeeze their way onto the train, a young woman sees their faces and says, her English accent strong, “New to the Underground, eh? This is normal for this time of day. It’s ridiculous, isn’t it?”

“It certainly is,” Otabek says, reaching for a bar above his head.

When the train starts to move, it jolts them so badly Yuri nearly falls over. He swears in Russian and grabs Otabek’s hand for stability.

“Fucking ridiculous,” he mutters.

Otabek chuckles, understanding totally.

---

St Petersburg, Russia

Long distance relationships are a load of shit, but meeting up with your partner after all of that time apart is the best feeling ever. Yuri doesn’t usually go so fucking sentimental, but it’s true. Getting to see Otabek in person is always amazing.

He met up with Otabek at the airport half an hour ago, and didn’t hesitate to hug his boyfriend, not giving a shit that people could see. Otabek blushed but hugged him back, and said, “I’ve missed you.”

“Me too.”

Right now, they sit in the back of a taxi on the way to Yuri’s place. At eighteen, he only has a small flat in St Petersburg, as close to the ice rink as he could get, but it’s nice to have his own place. And it’s even better to know Otabek will be staying with him this week.

“What’s your apartment like?” Otabek says. “I mean, I know I’ve seen the photos, but what’s it like?”

“Pretty shit, to be honest,” Yuri says. “It’s tiny and it’s a mess. But it’s mine. And you won’t have to stay with the lovebirds this time. You can stay with me.”

That makes Otabek blush, and Yuri grins. Otabek takes his hand and they interlock their fingers.

“It’s good to finally see you again,” Otabek whispers.

Yuri smiles and gives him a quick kiss.

---

Paris, France

“You’re a fucking sap, do you know that?” Yuri says, but he can’t keep the smile off of his face.

They sit close together towards the back of a bus, hands clasped together. Yuri stares out of the window, watching Paris go by.

“Yeah, I do,” Otabek says.

“Seriously, though, thanks for this, Beka.”

Otabek smiles. He knew Yuri would love this. After all, who doesn’t love a romantic weekend in Paris?

“No problem. Wait until you see the hotel, though. It’s amazing.”

Yuri grins, and when the old women at the back of the bus are looking away, he gives Otabek a soft, sweet kiss.