Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sometimes, even Garnet couldn’t predict how swiftly things could go wrong.

Or… what was that human phrase for it? “Shit hitting the fan.” Which was ridiculous, since no human in their right mind would be flinging their feces like—like some kind of animal. But as far as phrases go, it did its job in creating a vivid picture of the horrifying mess one tiny action could cause.

Pearl just never imagined she’d be the reason for the mess that unfolded one chilly winter cycle.

Oh, it started simply enough. Board game night, a weekly tradition ever since the breakfast fiasco where Steven nearly got himself killed stumbling through their bedrooms in the temple. Pearl insisted on more regular “bonding” time after that. Steven protested briefly—he didn’t want to be a bother.

He couldn’t realize that he was never a bother. Not to them.

And so, they converged, with human food and music and laughter. Outside, a snowstorm raged, but it felt far away. The game Steven chose was a prequel to Garnet’s “favorite” video game, the one with the dancing meats. He shivered in the chilly temperature of the house, tossed his comforter over his shoulders, and settled beside Pearl as she read the directions.

“Now then. We each get an animal,” Pearl said, hesitantly, glancing down at the plastic pieces in Steven’s hand.

“Hmm.” Steven examined each one, squinting, before grinning at the baby lamb. From this angle, it was fairly cute. Not as cute as Steven when he smiled, but close. “I’ll take this one. The baby!”

“Dibs on the horned one,” Amethyst hollered, and plucked the longhorn steer from his hands. She stomped it on the board game, cackling madly as her cow plowed through Pearl’s carefully arranged assembly.

It had taken her eight whole minutes to arrange that! Pearl gasped. “Oh, Amethyst, really! Is that necessary?”

“To annoy you? Um, duh.”

“I’m sitting this one out,” Garnet said, calmly, from the opposite side of the couch. She curled up cross-legged.

Steven pouted. “Aww, really? But—it’s wholesome family fun! Fun for the whole family!”

Garnet’s lips twitched. “I fail to see how a game titled ‘The Slaughterhouse’ is wholesome fun.” She picked up the box, which pictured a bland, gray building, surrounded by far too happy farm animals.

“Gotta get those dancing drumsticks somewhere,” Amethyst cackled. “Pearl, Pearl. You should be the chicken. Get it? Cause you’re a chicken!”

“I am not. I never back away from a fight—” Pearl sniffed, but Steven pressed another game piece into her hands. An adult sheep, its plastic fluff poorly painted.

“Don’t be mean, Amethyst,” Steven said. “Pearl’s obviously the mama sheep.”

Pearl glanced at her game piece, then back at the instructions. “Ah, I think you mean mutton.” Her long, slender fingers tilted the plastic sheep this way and that, before dropping her gaze to the game board. And the meat grinders Amethyst’s longhorn steer had plowed through. She winced, just a bit. “M-Maybe Garnet’s right, Steven. Isn’t there another game we can play?”

Steven frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. “This one was on clearance. We’ve played the others before. I just thought, since Garnet liked Meat Beat Mania so much—”

Garnet pulled down her visor, peering at Steven with three exasperated eyes. “’Liked’?”

Steven’s face tinged red.

“Don’t be rude,” Pearl hissed over his head.

But their boy just pouted. “Aww, okay. Never mind. It was stupid.” He tossed his baby lamb into the box, then huddled further under his blanket. “What else do you guys want to do? We could watch—”

“Shh,” Garnet suddenly said, holding up a hand to silence them. For several long, tense seconds, only the sound of howling winter wind could be heard. Fear crept along Pearl’s spine as she strained to hear what Garnet could—but of course, that was ridiculous. Garnet wasn’t hearing anything. She was seeing.

Which is why, when she abruptly said, “Gems. We’re about to be attacked,” none of them wasted time surging to their feet.

“Attacked? Here?” Pearl exclaimed, dropping the instructions and the plastic sheep in favor of her curved white spear. It felt heavy in her hands, a comforting weight. Amethyst plucked out both of her whips, and Steven scrambled from the blanket. Pearl was vaguely aware of Lion—sleeping on Steven’s empty bed—yawning awake.

All eyes fell on Garnet, who still appeared to be listening intently. Slowly, she moved to the front door, pressing a hand on the window. “It’s odd. Blurry, almost. Like looking through water, which…” she stiffened, spinning back to them. “Not one attack. Two. One at the temple, and one on the city. We’ll have to split up. Amethyst, you’re with me.”

“Ready,” she growled.

“I’m not,” Steven gasped, stumbling over Pearl’s feet to climb the stairs to his dresser. “Lion, move. I need my jacket!”

Jacket. Pearl winced, glancing at the blizzard just outside. “No, no. Absolutely not. It’s too cold for you, Steven—”

“I’m coming, Pearl,” he insisted.

Garnet and Amethyst were already moving towards the front door. Garnet glanced at Pearl, and silent understanding passed between them. The bigger threat must be in town, or they wouldn’t be leaving Pearl alone here. But none of the Gems wanted their kid out in this storm.

Not that Pearl had much say in that. He did what he wanted 90% of the time, unless a certain fusion ordered otherwise. She glanced helplessly at Steven, then knit her brows together.

Garnet understood. She nodded, seamlessly ordering, “Steven. We need you to stay here.”

“But I need to help Pearl—”

“Lion can help Pearl.”

In response, the pink animal growled, leaping off the ledge to land lithely beside the Gem in question.

Garnet pulled off her visor, offering Steven a raw glance. “We can’t keep track of you in this storm. And I know you’ve improved, but it’s dangerous in this weather. Please, Steven.”

A loud crash echoed outside, and the distant sounds of screaming was impossible to miss. At the top of the stairs, Steven’s face fell, his jacket dropping to the floor. “But—I can help.”

“You already are, by staying safe,” Garnet said.

“Not to rush this lovely moment, but we gotta go,” Amethyst prodded, whipping open the front door. The wind blasted into the house, and Steven shuddered at the temperature drop. Without so much as another word, they sprinted out the door and away.

Pearl strode for the door next, but Steven skid down the staircase. Halfway down he tripped, which sent her core surging into her throat. Her spear clattered to the floor as she caught him, steadying him. “Steven, be careful!”

He shooed her away, face pink with embarrassment, but his gaze was imploring. “Pearl, please! Let me help! I can ride on Lion. His mane is really warm—”

She wanted to say “yes.” So, so badly, she wanted to give this boy, Rose’s boy, everything he asked for. But she remembered the day Rose came home laughing about human babies, and how apparently they shouldn’t be allowed to “do anything they want.” “Human children are even more fragile than you can imagine, Pearl,” Rose had said. “We must protect them.”

And so, despite his pleading expression, Pearl hardened hers. “I’m sorry, Steven, but I need you to stay here.” And then, for extra backup, she glanced at the massive pink creature behind her. “Lion. Keep him inside.”

The animal growled, and pressed a paw on Steven’s fluffy hair. The kid tried to shoo him away, but Pearl was already gone, out the door before he could protest.

The door clicked shut on Gem Family Game Night, leaving Pearl to brace herself against the winds as she leapt off the balcony, squinting against the snow. The waves were barely audible over the howling of the blizzard, but a sense of satisfaction settled in her very core, the certain knowledge that no matter what attacked, Steven was inside.

Safe.

She had no way of knowing that what prowled around the temple’s base wasn’t a corrupted gem or an invading alien. She had no way of knowing that the monster in town was merely a distraction, something to occupy Amethyst and Garnet for a choice few moments.

She had no way of knowing that, as she stared towards the ocean and waited for the foreseen threat, it was already creeping behind her, destabilizer glinting gold against the gray snow.

Pearl couldn’t know any of that. All she knew when the destabilizer slammed into her back was the shock of pain.

And everything vanished in a puff of smoke.

Chapter Text

She didn’t come back.

Pearl left into the snowstorm, and she didn’t come back.

Steven paced as the sounds of combat faded in the distance. Something was attacking Beach City, for sure, but nothing had come closer. Nothing near the temple. He knew. He was listening for it.

The silence felt so wrong.

Anxiety curled in his gut like sour milk, making him nauseas and angry. He should be outside helping. He was already dressed, sweating profusely in his puffy jacket, curly hair tucked under a hat Pearl knitted for him three years ago. He was ready. He was warm. He could fight.

Except for two things: nothing was attacking the temple.

And Lion wouldn’t move.

The creature was physically blockading the door, watching him pace with passive disinterest. Steven spent the first half-hour trying to shove him aside, but man, lions were heavy. And this one really didn’t want to move.

“You don’t even like Pearl,” Steven exclaimed, indignant. It wasn’t true—probably—but shouting made him feel better. “Why are you listening to her? Listen to me! Aren’t you my lion?”

The animal regarded him with lidded eyes, then yawned widely.

Steven growled. “Move! Move or I’ll…” But his threat fell flat. He’d never hurt Lion, and they both knew it. Instead, he wracked his brain for something else. It took another ten minutes, but finally he stopped short and shoved a finger at the lion’s heart nose. “Move, or no more naptimes for you!”

The lion stared at him, as if asking, yeah? And how’re you gonna enforce that?

“Simple,” he answered, crossing his arms. “Imagine. Every time you lay down, I’ll be there, poking your mane, pulling your ears, playing with your paws. Imagine every second of my day dedicated to making sure your eyes never close. That’s what you’re getting yourself into, Lion.”

The creature growled, but his eyes were wider now. Steven was cracking him.

A grin spread across the boy’s face, and he stepped closer, lowering his voice in that menacing way movie villains did. “A beautiful winter day, crisp and clear, with the waves and the seagulls and the soft breeze… and me. Bothering you. How’d that feel? But if you move now, I’ll give you all the naps you want.”

Lion seemed to hesitate, glancing over his shoulder as if Pearl would magically reappear. But she didn’t. That sick feeling in Steven’s gut spread. Nothing was attacking the temple; he’d hear if there was a fight on the beach. So… if nothing was attacking, why wasn’t Pearl back yet?

Maybe she’d gone to help Garnet and Amethyst. But that was a very un-Pearl-like thing to do. Garnet didn't give orders lightly, and Pearl respected the chain of command. More than that, she respected her role in protecting Earth. She wouldn’t dare pop into town, not if the temple—and Steven—were at risk. Which meant she was probably sitting at the base of the staircase, waiting for a threat that never showed.

All alone.

What if she was cold? Gems couldn’t feel extreme temperatures; beings of light couldn't be affected by weather like he was. But Steven knew better; no one wanted to be outside in a blizzard, not even the Crystal Gems.

Well, no one except Steven. And that was only because Pearl was certainly outside, lonely and cold. 

But Lion still wasn’t budging. Trying to ignore his anxiety, Steven stepped back a few feet, glancing over his shoulder at the warp pad. It glimmered in the lights of the house, tempting and bold. A sly smile spread across his lips.

“Hey, Liiion,” he crooned, strolling towards the circular crystal. “What’re you gonna do if I warp somewhere? Maybe the barn? I bet Lapis would fly me right into the fight if I asked.”

At the front door, the animal huffed, taking a few uncertain steps away from his post.

Yes! This was Steven’s chance.

He continued towards the warp pad, feigning disinterest. His hands clasped behind his puff jacket, even as sweat trickled down his neck. “Yep. You’ve done a great job. But I don’t think you can stop me if I warp somewhere—”

Lion roared and bounded forward, which would have been terrifying if Steven weren’t waiting for it. In an instant, the boy darted under the lion’s paws, summoning his shield with a thought. Lion landed on it, a heavy weight that forced Steven into the floor, but he grunted and shoved the animal off, towards the warp pad. Lion skidded to a stop there, growling, but Steven was already gone, sprinting out the unguarded front door.

Into the snow.

It actually felt great, after so long bundled in the stifling heat of the house. His shoes crunched on the snow as he slipped and staggered down the staircase, heart pounding with the certainty that Lion was going to bound after him. But no one pursued.

Steven laughed at his triumph, then jogged towards the beach.

The… empty beach.

His humor faded, replaced with jagged nerves that pierced his spine. It was the weirdest thing, but—it kind of felt like he was being watched. The temple, the house, the band of yellow light surrounding it… his safe haven suddenly seemed very far away. Almost like Steven was on a different planet, or the moon.

Where was Pearl?

The wind whistled around him, smacking his face with snow. He tugged his scarf further up his nose, breathing through the damp fabric, squinting against the darkness of night. Beach City was silent now; Amethyst and Garnet would be home soon. But Pearl was nowhere to be found.

“Pearl? Peeeearl!” Steven called, but his voice was snatched away by the wind.

Out the corner of his eye, a shadow moved. He squeaked in fear, bubbling himself on habit. Immediately, the wind ceased and the snow on his face melted, but nothing slammed into his protective bubble. Everything outside was tinted pink, still and silent as the grave.

Steven shuddered, and this time, it wasn’t because of the cold. “P-Pearl?” he whispered.

Nothing moved.

Well, nothing except Lion, who’d emerged from the house after all. Relief swept over Steven, although the animal didn’t look pleased at the stunt he’d pulled. Lion leapt over the railing, landing with a thump at the base of the staircase, glaring at Steven with the haughty irritation only a cat could manage.

Steven laughed nervously, unbubbling himself. “H-Hey, Lion. Long time, no see.”

Lion roared again, but didn’t move towards him. Instead, the creature stopped short, lifting one paw, bending to sniff the snow. His tail swished, his mane glistening as he prowled around the base of the staircase.

Steven frowned. “Lion?” He cautiously stepped closer, but Lion wasn’t interested in him anymore. Steven watched as the animal began nosing at the snow. “What’re you looking for?”

Lion growled, pawing at something glinting in the dim, yellow light.

Something small and round and smooth, like a rock.

Or a gem.

Steven’s breath caught, and he was on his knees in an instant. But there was no mistaking it. The gem Lion unearthed was Pearl. Something had poofed her. It must have happened right away, or he’d have heard the struggle—and that was a terrifying thought inside itself. Pearl was always so astute, but she must not have seen this mystery attacker coming.

Which meant it was a dangerous creature indeed.

A shudder ran down Steven’s spine, and he clutched Pearl’s gem to his chest, summoning Rose’s shield in an instant. He braced himself behind it, spinning towards the beach, the city, the temple. Lion bristled beside him, also scanning the shadows, but nothing moved.

They were alone.

“Steven,” Garnet called. “What are you doing outside?”

Well, almost alone.

Wait. Garnet! She’d know what to do. Steven dashed towards the two shapes strolling back to the house. He'd just show Pearl to Garnet, and she'd take control like always. Things were fine. Pearl was fine. 

Amethyst met him halfway, cackling, “Oooh, Ste-man, you’re in tro-ouble. Sorry you missed out on all the fun.”

But Steven couldn’t reply. He just held up Pearl’s gem, eyes wide.

Amethyst stilled. “Woah. What poofed her? Did she get it first, at least?” The Gem spun towards the ocean, but the beach was as silent as it’d been all night.

“I don’t know! She left, and then I snuck outside, and Lion found her like this,” Steven exclaimed, running his thumb along the gemstone.

Garnet paused beside him, closing her mouth when she saw Pearl’s state. She sighed. “Hmm. I didn’t foresee this.”

But he wasn’t listening anymore. His thumb had stopped over a thin, raised line on the smooth pearl’s surface, directly adjacent to the normal, blue frame of Pearl’s pearl. Like—like a rubber band stretched over the circumference of it, if the rubber band was made of rigid metal and glued in place. 

He’d held Pearl’s poofed gem before, and this definitely hadn’t been there last time.

“What—” His heart seized, and he lifted it towards the dim light from the house.  “Something’s on her gem!” He didn’t bother keeping the panic from his voice. “Garnet, is that normal? Is she okay?”

With a flick of her hand, Garnet activated one of her gems’ light. A beacon showered Steven, illuminating him against the snow. Illuminating the pearl in his hand.

Illuminating the metal band now wrapped around it, so thin it was barely noticeable. It crossed over the blue frame that normally divided her gem in half, an intruder on an otherwise perfect stone.

Everyone sucked in a breath.

“What—is that?” Amethyst exclaimed, pressing a hand against her own gemstone. Wild fear showed in her eyes. “Did she crack? Should we take her to Rose’s spring?”

“It’s not a crack,” Garnet murmured, carefully taking the gem from Steven’s hand. He shivered against the cold, staring wide-eyed as she examined it. “It’s—” she broke off, wincing in pain, pressing a finger to her third eye. “I can’t see. Everything around it is cloudy. Just like these attacks.”

“Attack,” Steven whispered. “Garnet, I was listening the whole time. Nothing attacked the beach.”

“Then what poofed her?” Amethyst repeated, almost angrily.

“I don’t know,” he replied again, voice trembling.

Garnet glanced down at them. “Let’s get inside. Nothing we can do for her here. Come on, Steven.” With a nudge of her hand, she guided him and Amethyst up the snow-covered stairs.

And long after the front door closed, Lion stayed outside, staring intently into the darkness under the house.

Chapter Text

This regeneration felt different.

Normally, when Pearl retreated into her gem, it was a peaceful time. Even if she’d been in the throes of battle, all the tension and anguish faded. The space in her gem was comfortable, safe.

Because, really, Pearls were never meant for combat. They were pretty things, aesthetically pleasing toys, and so, with the other Pearls, regeneration was dedicated to such: nudging their appearance into something that might please their master.

But Pearl hadn’t been owned in millennia. Instead, she took a page from Rose’s book and used this time to review what mistake had gotten her poofed in the first place. Identify, isolate, repair. Fortify that weakness for the future. It was why, after her holo-Pearl stabbed her all those months ago, Pearl spent extra time redesigning her outfit with a thick, reinforced wrap around her torso.

She’d never be struck there again.

But today’s poofing was different. Nothing about this felt warm and comforting. Pearl wasn’t given the option to review her appearance, adjust as necessary. There was no much-needed break, safe in the knowledge she’d reform to the love and care of her family.

No, all Pearl felt inside her gem was pain.

It started slow, a dull pulsing that tugged her from the drudges of darkness. She didn’t have a physical form in here, not really, but her mind was aware enough to isolate the ache to an area behind her skull—behind her gem. It began to pound, hurting more and more the longer she paid attention. Like Bismuth was taking a hammer to it.

A fleeting thought passed over her: was this what it felt like to be shattered?

And with that thought, a flash of panic. No. No, no, no. She couldn’t be shattered. The Crystal Gems needed her. Earth needed her. Steven needed her. She had somewhere to be and something to do, and none of it involved whatever hell this was.

Then reform, a sinister voice hissed into the darkness.

Pearl’s consciousness stiffened. She was inside her gem. Nothing could come inside a gem during regeneration. Even if she were about to be shattered, she should be alone in here. So who the stars was that?

Reform, it whispered, sounding like a thousand knives scratching into granite.

Pearl flinched. She wasn’t ready. Regeneration took time, energy, devotion. She prided herself on carefully arranging her new appearance, on making herself stronger than before. She wasn’t some pretty decoration. She was Rose Quartz’s pearl, and she would act like it.

“Get out of my mind,” Pearl thought. The words left her like the snap of a rubber band, and she scoured the darkness for the offender. But the voice had gone silent. Maybe she’d won.

For a moment, triumph.

Then, pain.

It lanced through her like a spear to the torso, or a boulder to the head, or a sword to the gem. Waves and waves of crippling pain that had Pearl screaming, doubling over, dropping to her knees, gripping the inky black. Something constricted around her mind, tightening, tightening, until she was sure she’d poof out of existence.

But that couldn’t happen. She’d already lost her physical form.

How was this possible? What was happening?

Pearl sobbed, clenching her eyes shut. Words tumbled from her nonexistent lips, hovering like bubbles around her, smothering her. Terrible words. Begging words. It can’t have been very long in the real world, on Earth, but already the pain had stretched time, destroyed reality.

Maybe this was shattering. Maybe this was how her fellow Crystal Gems had felt, in the eons after the Homeworld assault. The thought made Pearl sob harder, her whole body shuddering from it, awash in anguish.

And then something grabbed her arms. The shadowy voice was back, hissing again. Reform. Reform. Reform!

Yes. Anything to make the pain stop.

Pearl’s world went white, glowed bright enough to dry her tears, numb her mind. Snippets of conversation infiltrated her gem, of familiar voices. Of family. Garnet. Amethyst. Steven.

They’d know what to do. They’d never let Pearl shatter like this.

And so, when the voice grabbed her gem, tore her in half, she allowed it. Allowed her mind to be ripped to shreds, allowed her consciousness to bounce around the inside of her gem, until it spun with such violence that the only alternative was regeneration. 

With a shimmer of light, her body solidified. Her knees dropped to the hardwood floor, her hands curling, her mind centering. The pain… faded. Relief replaced it, a tsunami that brought tears to her newly-formed eyes. Whatever that had been, it was over now.

Chubby hands gripped her cheeks. Steven’s face filled her vision, his eyes overflowing with tears. “Pearl! You’re okay!”

“I’m—I’m okay,” she repeated, unsteadily. But fourteen years of mothering made this part second nature. Shifting her stance, she gathered Steven into her arms, pressing him against her chest. He clutched her like he used to as a baby, and something in her core calmed a bit.

Maybe she was okay.

She glanced over his curly hair, only to see Amethyst and Garnet staring like she might… explode, or something. She swallowed past a suddenly dry mouth, her voice dangerously low. “What happened?”

They exchanged wary glances, silent. And still, Pearl could hear their fears.

They were thinking that Pearl hadn’t regenerated on her toes, perched like the dancer she used to be, the expert swordsgem she was now. No, she’d regenerated on her hands and knees, crippled. Weak.

They were thinking that Pearl hadn’t taken her time like always. Based on the discarded board game on the coffee table, the darkness outside, the howling of a blizzard, they’d just managed to gather their bearings before she regenerated.

They were thinking what Pearl was thinking: that something had gone very, very wrong. And none of them knew what.

Terror crept from her core, numbing her fingers, stiffening her arms. She was millennia old. Older than Garnet, older than Amethyst, older than Peridot or Lapis. Maybe it was age? Pearls were made to be replaced. A shinier model, newer features, better memories, faster response time. What if Homeworld had crafted her with an expiration date in mind?

Did that make sense? She’d never heard of such a thing, but—

Under her panic, the pain returned. It started like last time: softly, just a dull ache behind her gem. But the memories of that dull ache were enough to make her flinch, clench her eyes shut, press a hand to her pearl.

“Wait!” Garnet surged forward.

But it was too late. She’d already felt it. Something… protruding… from her gem. Oh, it was small enough, thin enough, like wire from a jeweler’s box. But it might as well have been a rod of superheated iron, for all her hand was scorched. She recoiled with a sharp gasp, staring at her long, graceful fingers.

At the burn mark, black and ugly, across the pads of them.

A burn?

“Pearl,” Steven scrambled off her, taking her fingers. “Oh, no, you’re hurt! Hang on. I’ll get some ice.”

The burn resonated through her core, a sharp pang that had her wincing. “What—what is this?” Pain settled behind her ears, throbbing until her fingers were all she could think about, all she could comprehend. She’d never felt anything like this before. Despite her best attempts, she couldn't keep the panic from her voice. “Garnet?”

But Garnet didn’t approach. She just stared, almost sad. “I’ve been looking, but—it’s like everything surrounding you is murky. You’ve dropped off my map.”

That terrified Pearl more than anything else. “What do you mean? I’m right here! H-How can I—?”

“Pearl, here,” Steven said, suddenly back at her side. He pressed a cloth into her fingers. They were damp with melting ice, and the sudden change in temperature brought a wave of relief. Under the chill of the cloth, it was like the burn never happened.

Her head still pounded, but… it was something.

“T-Thank you, Steven,” she said, trying not to tremble. He was worried. She could see it in his eyes, wide with fear. His fingers gripped her arm tightly, like she might poof out of existence a second time that night. Pearl had to be strong for him, so she forced a smile even as her mind fractured from the not-knowing of it all. “That feels better.”

“Feels…?” Amethyst repeated, disbelief coloring her tone.

Because Gems could feel, but it was an initial thing, a reflex to get them away from danger. When seconds stretched into minutes, a Gem's pain faded, vanished, and their body repaired appropriately. Injuries didn't last. 

And yet, her hand still throbbed.

Pearl swallowed hard.

Garnet pressed her lips into a thin line. “We aren’t sure what that thing is. We were trying to get it off your gem when you regenerated.”

“It was—like I didn’t have a choice,” Pearl whispered, dazed. “This voice kept telling me to reform. And when I didn’t move fast enough, it… ripped me apart, forced me back into reality. Whether I was ready or not.”

Steven paled, still holding the wet cloth to her fingers.

“Wait, wait,” Amethyst crossed her arms. “You’re tellin’ me that something was in your gem, talking to you, and then it pulled some reverse destabilizer crap and forced you into existence?”

“Like... a restabilizer? Do those exist?” Steven asked.

Silence filled the room as the Gems glanced at each other. Garnet adjusted her visor, voice low. “Not that I’ve heard.”

“Me either,” Pearl said. “Did any of you get burned touching it?”

“It zapped me a bit when you reformed, but nothing damaging,” Amethyst replied, showing her purple hand. Her skin was smooth, like always.

Pearl lifted the ice pack, examining her own fingers. The burn was dark against her pale skin, vivid and angry. Sharp pain returned as the chill of the ice faded, causing her to flinch.

“It’s going to keep hurting unless you keep the washcloth on it,” Steven said, almost admonishing. Which would be amusing, if it wasn’t coupled by the horrifying realization that he only knew how to treat a burn because he’d been burned before.

And with that, another devastating realization. Pearl’s breath hitched. Did Steven feel this kind of pain all the time? How did he function? Stars, they’d made such a mistake, letting him on missions, if this was the risk. Her mind slipped away, spinning with terrible scenarios where Steven was injured, maimed, nearly killed.

Then an arm draped over her thin shoulders, and Steven pressed himself against her side. “You’ll be okay, Pearl,” he said, even though his eyes flicked to the strange device constricting her gem. His tone sounded forced after that. “We’ll figure this out. Just—don’t touch it anymore, okay?”

“Okay,” she replied, even though all she longed to do was dig her nails into that thing, pull until it pried away from her gem and her soul, even if she got poofed in the process. If everything went back to normal, it’d be worth it.

Garnet sounded irate. “It has to be Homeworld tech.”

“If it’s Homeworld tech, maybe we should ask Peridot for help,” Steven suggested.

“It’s… kinda subtle for Homeworld, isn’t it?” Amethyst muttered. Garnet shot her a glare, and Amethyst held up her hands. “Hey, don’t get mad at me. I didn’t make it. I’m just sayin’, every other time, Homeworld has sent a huge ship and threatened imminent demise. This is kinda… small… for them.”

“It doesn’t feel small to Pearl,” Garnet said through gritted teeth.

Oh, stars. Pearl’s head ached, but she was sick of them talking like she wasn’t there. She patted Steven’s head, adjusted her hold on the ice pack, and pushed to her feet. Everyone surged closer, but she could stand just fine, thank you, so she waved them off with a huff.

“No, Amethyst is right.”

“Told ya,” the Gem in question said, but for once she didn’t sound smug.

Pearl rolled her eyes, which caused her skull to pound even more. She gritted her teeth and forced herself to remain steady. “I must have been poofed with a destabilizer, then outfitted with this… thing. The restabilizer. Which means whoever did it snuck up to our home, and none of us noticed.”

“T-They might still be out there,” Steven stammered.

“Then they’ve got a fight ahead of them." With a flash, Garnet summoned her gauntlets. But when she wrenched open the front door, Lion was standing on the other side. He growled around something in his mouth, then stepped past Garnet to spit the thing at Steven’s feet.

Pearl peered over the boy’s shoulders as he cautiously picked it up.

“It’s… a flower.”

The blue petals were barely recognizable, stamped as they were. Like someone had waded through a field of these, and this one was caught underfoot, pulled along for the ride. Its stem was cracked, its petals mushed, its color dirtied. 

Pearl took it from Steven’s fingers, squinting. “Where's it from? I’ve never seen this type in Beach Ci—”

And then, another stab of crippling pain, worse than anything she’d experienced inside her gem. Because this time, it resonated not just through her mind, but through her physical form as well. With a strangled gasp, her vision went white, her balance failed, and she crumpled to the ground.

When she came to, it was to a ringing in her ears, Steven shaking her shoulders, Garnet and Amethyst arguing overhead, and that tiny, crumpled flower lying forgotten at her feet.

Pearl’s vision swam, but—that was weakness, and she’d vowed to never be weak again. Not after Rose handed her a sword and asked her to fight. So Pearl clenched her jaw and forced herself to focus, to center on Steven, Rose’s boy, her whole world these days.

“’M fine,” she said, but her words still slurred. Not good enough. She drew a laborious breath and tried again. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine,” Steven shouted, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Garnet gripped his shoulder, gently guiding him back to give Pearl some space. Everyone looked to Garnet as the fusion said, firmly, “I think it’s time we pay a visit to Peridot.”

Pearl didn’t bother arguing. 

Chapter Text

The barn was dark and empty when they strolled up the hill.

Well, “strolled” might be generous. Pearl was moving on her own, and just fine, she might add, but the way Garnet and Steven hovered made them look like toddlers learning to walk. Even Amethyst nearly tripped over her own feet approaching the barn. It would have been comical any other day.

But any other day, Pearl wouldn’t feel so… sick. (Was that the right word? She certainly felt how Steven looked when he got the flu four years ago.)

Amethyst apparently decided Garnet and Steven could handle Pearl, because the purple gem trounced ahead in the snow. She wasted no time banging against the barn’s thick door… in perfect time with the throbbing behind Pearl’s gem.

“Hey. Heeeey. Open up!”

Pearl hissed, so softly no one else should have heard.

But of course, she’d underestimated Steven. (Somehow, she always underestimated Steven.)

“Pearl?” His hand snaked into hers, and that, she allowed. He didn’t ask if she was okay—they both knew the answer—but the look on his face made her core melt, even as her gem burned and her vision swam.

She forced a smile. “It’s fine, Steven.”

He pressed his lips together, but didn’t argue. Thank the stars for small victories, because her energy to fight was fading fast.

“They’re not home,” Garnet remarked, crossing her arms. She regarded the wooden structure for a bare minute. It was an intent and focus Pearl knew well: she wasn’t looking at the barn. She was seeing the barn.

Beside Pearl, Steven shuddered. Although the low-hanging clouds were lightening in slow increments, and the snow and wind had died down, the outside temperature was still freezing. Inside the barn wouldn’t be better, even if Peridot and Lapis were around. Beings of physical light didn’t have much need for a space heater.

“We should go back,” Pearl said, squeezing Steven’s hand. “You’re chilled.”

“So are you,” he said.

Pearl sighed. “Steven, we don’t feel temperatures like you do. You know that.”

“All I know is I can feel your fingers, and they’re cold,” he retorted, stubbornly.

At the barn’s door, Amethyst raised an eyebrow, her eyes flicking to the metal ring constricting Pearl’s gem. “I mean, it’s clearly doing something to ya, P. Maybe he’s right. Might be best not to test it.”

Oh, stars. Pearl’s head throbbed, and she raised a hand to her gem. But Steven’s grip tightened in alarm, stilling her fingers inches from the wire. In defeat, her hand dropped, and she mumbled, “This thing can’t change what I am.”

What she wanted to say was, I’m still a Crystal Gem. The Renegade Pearl. Steven’s guardian, and a defender of Earth.

What Pearl wanted to say was, this does not define me.

But it did. Her identity as the fierce, infallible swordsgem was being stripped away. She could see it in herself, how she stumbled as she walked, how her vision blurred, how her head pounded. And she could see it in her family, how Amethyst teased her less than usual, how Garnet had become her second shadow, how Steven gripped her like a lifeline.

Like she needed protecting, instead of being the protector.

It was terrifying. And infuriating. She hadn’t spent a thousand years fighting at Rose’s side to be treated like… glass. Someone breakable, that might shatter at any moment. She was a Gem, for stars’ sake!

But before she could emphasize that, voices drifted across the muted snow. Garnet turned towards one of the further hills, her face impassive as she said, “Right on time.”

“Wha’d’ya mean? They’re late.” Amethyst huffed.

Peridot and Lapis emerged right where Garnet was looking. Lapis was holding something bulky, and a tiny pumpkin barked at their feet, bounding through the snow.

Peridot sounded smug, even as she hopped over a particularly large snowdrift. “—told you water is the best element.”

“Oh, really?” Lapis replied, monotone.

“Don’t bother arguing, Lazuli. Look. It’s simple. None of the other elements have shapeshifting abilities. You try telling wind to look different. Go on. Try!” Peridot cackled. “You can’t! Because wind will always just be air, and fire will always just be flames, and earth… well, we all know earth can’t do anything useful without the injectors from Homeworld.”

Even through the blowing snow, Pearl could see Lapis’ amused smirk. “Earth made Pumpkin.”

At her feet, the tiny creature barked twice, its vine-tail wagging.

Peridot scoffed. “Steven made Pumpkin.”

“Maybe Steven’s the best element.”

“Lapis, please, don’t be ridicu—” Peridot cut herself off, eyes resting on the procession outside their barn. Her grin grew wide, and she grabbed Lapis’ hand, towing her the rest of the distance in moments. “Oh, guests! Lazuli, look. Look who’s here!”

“Out in the cold,” Lapis remarked, her brows furrowing as she pulled away from Peridot. “Steven, aren’t you freezing?” It turned out to be a stack of blankets bundled in her arms, and without hesitation she offered a fluffy pink one to him.

“This is more important than that!” He waved it away, tugging Pearl forward instead. She tried to follow, but the sudden motion had the world spinning, and the ground wasn’t where she expected. She pitched forward, but Garnet caught her immediately, holding her elbow to steady her.

Pearl’s cheeks burned. This was so embarrassing.

Peridot watched the entire display with bemusement, eyebrows raised. “What’s wrong with you?”

Steven swallowed hard. “She’s hurt. We need your help, Peridot. Someone put this… thing… on her gem. Is it Homeworld technology? How do we get it off?” His voice became progressively more panicked, and he turned that look on Peridot, the one no Gem seemed able to refuse. “P-Please, you have to help her.”

His eyes were wide. Scared.

Scared for Pearl.

Stars, she never wanted this. He had enough to worry about without fretting over her. She had to stand tall, put on a brave face, and fix this when Steven wasn’t around. With a forced laugh, Pearl pushed away from Garnet, standing on her own two feet.

“He’s making it sound worse than it is—”

But Peridot wasn’t listening anymore. Her green eyes had settled on Pearl’s gem, and she recoiled. “Wait, wait. Someone attached something to your gem while you were regenerating? Who?”

“Who isn't important right now," Garnet replied, steadily. Firmly. "What's important now is getting it off. Is it Homeworld tech?"

Peridot squinted this way and that, then waved Lapis closer. “Lazuli, let me climb on your shoulders.”

“Ah, no.”

“To see better, Lapis! It’s important.”

“Oh, here.” Pearl rolled her eyes and sunk to her knees. She made it look graceful, like she was taking a seat beside Steven to watch the sunset, even though her center of balance was woefully off balance and she almost face-planted instead.

Beside her, Steven shivered. Lapis again offered the blanket, and this time, he begrudgingly took it, draping it over his shoulders like a cape. “Pearl needs one too,” he insisted. “She’s cold.”

Pearl laughed in that silly Steven kind of way, but it died off when Lapis dutifully tossed another blanket over Pearl’s shoulders too.

And even more disconcerting—it helped. Pearl shuddered under the sudden warmth, feeling the first bit of relief in hours spread through her numb arms. But that made no sense. Gems were built for space. Their bodies were made of light. She shouldn’t be affected by Earth’s temperatures.

Except, apparently, she was.

Peridot noticed it too. Abruptly, she shoved a green hand against Pearl’s cheek. Pearl recoiled, but the other Gem just frowned. “You are cold.” Her eyes turned to the wire around Pearl’s pearl, and she reached for it.

“No,” Steven exclaimed, but it was too late.

Except Peridot didn’t hiss and jerk away. Her fingers weren’t burned. She might as well have been feeling Pumpkin, for all the restabilizer injured her.

“Hmm,” she said, nearly nose to nose with Pearl now.

“It didn’t burn you,” Steven whispered.

Lapis frowned, shifting her hold on the other blankets. “Did it burn you, Steven?”

“N-No. I haven’t tried to touch it. Pearl got hurt when she did, though.”

At the reminder, Pearl glanced at her fingers, barely visible in the shadows of the blanket. The burn’s intense pain had died down, probably because of the freezing temperature, but the mark was still visible, ugly and blistering against the pads of her skin.

It should have repaired itself by now.

Peridot made a face. “What happened to your hand? Is that because of this thing?”

“We’re calling it the restabilizer,” Garnet said, carefully. “Because it forced Pearl to regenerate sooner than she wanted.”

“Forced a regeneration? But… that shouldn’t be possible.”

Pearl felt herself getting frustrated. “Yes, we know. Can you help us or not?”

“Hey, don’t get mad at me,” Peridot said, indignant. “I’m not the one that slapped that thing on your gem—”

A cell phone interrupted the conversation. It was a cheery tone, too bright considering the circumstances. Pearl glanced at Steven, and he winced, fishing into his pocket for the device. His eyes skimmed the screen, and he mumbled, “Hang on. It’s Connie.” He stepped a few feet away, answering with a quiet, “Hey, I can’t really talk right now.”

Peridot, meanwhile, tugged open the barn doors with a flourish. She glanced over her shoulder at Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst. “I need some tools. Maybe we can get it off with a pair of clipping needles.”

“Clipping needles?” Amethyst repeated, snorting. “You mean tweezers?”

“If I meant tweezers, I'd have said tweezers,” Peridot huffed in exasperation, then motioned for them to come inside. When she thought no one was listening, she whispered to Lapis, "What are tweezers?"

Before Lapis could reply, Steven gasped and covered the phone, shouting, “Connie says corrupted gems are attacking the city. Lots of them! She’s got Mom’s sword, but she needs help.”

Pearl’s core seized in panic. “No! Tell Connie to hide until we get there. It’s not safe!” She staggered to her feet, reaching towards her gem, her spear already forming in a burst of light. But the second she gripped it, white-hot pain lanced through her skull, shooting to the tips of her toes. Pearl screamed, dropping back to her knees.

It took another long moment for her vision to clear, for her to feel Garnet’s gem-studded hand on one shoulder, Amethyst’s tight grip on the other. She couldn’t hear them past the ringing in her ears, and it took effort to keep her eyes open. 

“We h-have to help. She can’t handle them alone,” Pearl managed, weakly reaching for her gem again.

Garnet secured her hand at her side. “You don’t have to do anything. For the time being, you’re benched. We’ll handle this.”

Dazed, Pearl looked past them, past a horrified Peridot, past an alarmed Lapis, straight to Steven. The phone had nearly slipped from his grasp, and fat tears welled in his eyes. He blinked them away, muttered something into the phone, then shoved it back into his pocket.

“Connie’s just helping with evacuation,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “She—she promised she wouldn’t jump into anything. Okay?”

Without warning, Garnet scooped Pearl into her arms, carrying her inside the quiet barn. Pearl nearly laughed, because apparently they did have space heaters; probably a precaution if Steven decided to visit. Garnet eased her onto a pile of blankets beside the aquarium, flicking a heater on as an afterthought. “Don’t. Move,” she ordered, removing her visor just long enough to narrow her eyes at Pearl.

But Pearl’s head was swimming, and she felt really sick now. Like—like if she ate, she’d be partaking in the human practice of vomiting. As it was, she just swallowed a moan and tried to take deep, unnecessary breaths.

“Peridot,” Garnet barked, and the green gem scurried inside. “Get this thing off her gem.”

“Oh, sure, just like that,” Peridot replied sarcastically, although expression shifted into that same inquisitive look she wore while puzzling over the drill’s construction. It made Pearl feel like she was nothing more than the Homeworld tech constricting her gem, and she hated it.

But there was no other option.

"We're going," Garnet said.

Lapis narrowed her eyes, her expression uncharacteristically fierce. “I’ll come with you. You’ll need some extra hands.”

“Thanks,” Garnet said, offering a grim smile. She strolled back to the entrance to the barn, where Steven was hovering uncertainly. The fusion ruffled his hair, bending to his level. Although she lowered her voice, Pearl made out the words. “We’ll protect Connie. But Pearl needs you right now.”

“Yeah,” Steven nodded, firmly. “Okay.”

This was what she’d been reduced to. Benched. An injured bystander, watching as the Crystal Gems fought without her. She was Connie’s teacher, for stars’ sake. It was her job to make sure that little girl didn’t get hurt in battle.

And yet, when Pearl struggled to sit upright, Garnet shot her a firm scowl.

Pearl glared back. “I can help—”

“No, you can’t,” Garnet snapped. “You can barely stand. You can’t summon your weapon. Let me be clear, Pearl. Like this, you’d be a hindrance to us.”

Pearl’s breath caught, and her eyes pricked with tears.

Garnet’s expression softened. “Stay here, and stay safe. We’ll be back.” And she tugged the barn’s doors closed. Steven rubbed his arms under the blanket, staring through the crack at the white snow beyond. But then he drew a shaking breath and tugged out his phone, typing a text, presumably to Connie.

Peridot raised an eyebrow, tapping her yellow visor. “Wow. That was harsh.”

“She’s right, though,” Steven said, and his tone matched Rose when she took command of a situation. Usually, it made Pearl swell with pride. Today, though, she sunk back into the blankets, defeated and angry.

I’m not useless, she wanted to say.

I can still fight, she wanted to cry.

But none of it was true. This thing had crippled her, and she hated it.

“Get it off,” she said to Peridot, her voice low and dangerous. “Whatever it takes, get this thing off me.”

Peridot cleared her throat. “Well, that might be difficult. It looks like it fused to your gem—fused in the human definition of the word, obviously. But maybe if we try…” She rummaged in a nearby chest, tugging out a set of tools they’d used for the drill. She muttered under her breath, then held up a pair of gleaming silver pliers. “Here we go! Clipping needles.” She stood over Pearl, aiming the tips at the restabilizer. “Ready?”

“Ready,” Pearl closed her eyes, clenching her fists. A hand closed over one of them, and she peeked at Steven, who’d sat beside her. He offered a nervous smile, and she smiled back.

And then Peridot descended on her gem.

The moment the pliers gripped the thin wire, pain.

Agonizing. Like lightning slamming her from the inside out, electrifying every molecule, sharpening her light-based form until she was nothing more than raw energy, screaming and bursting and shattering. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she writhed against the blankets, shouting at no one, begging for nothing.

“Hold h—down,” came Peridot’s panicked reply. It took Pearl a long moment to decipher what those words meant, not until a firm body sat on her stomach, pressing her shoulders. She struggled against it, mindless, sobbing.

No, no, no. She longed to poof. This much pain, this much agony—it should be destroying her form. It should be ruining her, and then she’d be safe to retreat into her gem, and she’d emerge two weeks from now like it was one of Steven’s bad dreams.

Maybe she’d equip a helmet this time. Something to cover her gem, save herself from this kind of attack in the future. Rose would have appreciated that adjustment. She always loved Pearl in hats.

“—urting her!”

Steven.

“—told me—keep going—"

A fresh wave of pain slammed into Pearl. She cried out, stiffening, as her vision flashed with stars.

“No,” someone screamed, and—

Then the noise muted.

The pain muted too, crippling relief that had Pearl crying all over again, for a different reason. Her chest heaved, and the weight disappeared, even as chubby hands squeezed her arms. “Pearl. Pearl. Look at me!”

She couldn’t ignore him. The floor was spinning and she felt exhausted and achy, but she pried open her eyes. Because Steven asked her to.

They were bubbled, together, alone in a bright pink, protective sphere. The fuzzy blanket pooled at his knees, his fingers clenched around her arms, and his tears pattered on her cheeks.

A distant part of her brain whispered, maybe that’ll fix it. But Steven wasn’t Rose, and his tears couldn’t help matters. And still, he was crying. Which meant he was sad, anguished, and it was her fault.

Pearl tried to speak, but the only thing she managed was a broken, “Ste—” before dissolving into a fit of core-rattling coughs.  

His breath hitched, and he buried his face into her neck. His tiny body shook with sobs, and even though someone was knocking on the outside of the bubble—Peridot, her hazy mind supplied eventually—he didn’t move.

“That’s not right,” he mumbled, almost chanting against her freezing skin. “Not like that. Not like that.”

Like that. In slow increments, her mind returned. The pliers. Peridot. The restabilizer. With that much pain, she should have poofed. A backup mechanism, a way to protect a gem’s mind even as their body flickered. But she was still here.

Her mind was starting to fray. She could feel it like a disease, creeping through her skin, breaking her apart. Poofing was intentional. Gems didn’t handle pain, couldn’t tough through it like humans did. Gems unraveled. And already, fear constricted Pearl’s core, whispering that her suffering wasn’t over, that all it’d take was another touch from those pliers, or a summoned spear, or a blue flower, and she’d be incapacitated with that agonizing pain.

It was going to come back, sooner or later. And she couldn’t handle it.

“P-Pearl?” Steven whispered.

But she couldn’t reply. As badly as she wanted to, her voice was stuck in her throat. Her body began to tremble.

And then—it glitched.

Just a brief moment, a flash of light and spatz of color. But she saw it, and Steven saw it, and outside the bubble, Peridot saw it too.

The physical representation of a crumbling mind.

Pearl didn’t glitch. Not when her hologram attacked her ruthlessly, its sword biting her skin as she learned to fight back. Not on the battlefield, when hundreds of enemy warriors overwhelmed them, when defeat was imminent. Not when Rose confessed she was having a baby, and a tsunami of horror swept Pearl away.

She’d never glitched.

And somehow, that simple fact made everything more real.

“G-Get it off me,” Pearl whimpered, pushing Steven away. His bubble vanished, but it didn’t help. She still felt stifled, trapped, suffocating in a way Gems physically couldn’t. “Get it off!”

“No, Pearl—” Steven cried, but it was too late. Her fingers burned, agonizing pain that electrocuted down her arms, settling behind her gem. And still she dug at her pearl, grasping the restabilizer as she attempted to yank it from her forehead. Hysteria descended when it didn’t move—it was never going to move, was it?—and the panic was heavier than a blanket in a snowstorm. The world whited around her, faded to the sharp pain of her burning fingers, the constricting ruthlessness of the restabilizer, the absolute certainty that after thousands of years and thousands of foes, it might be this one, tiny piece of metal that finally shattered her.

“Pearl, stop,” Peridot shouted. “Steven! Do something!”

Suddenly, wet slapped against her gem. She felt the press of Steven’s fingers, opened her eyes to see a trail of saliva dripping down his arm, before the world dulled, faded,

vanished.

Her eyes slipped closed, and she fell.

Chapter Text

“That… wasn’t what I signed up for,” Peridot said, squinting at the pliers.

Pearl’s form had gone limp. Steven gripped her shoulders in a half-hearted hug, then covered her with his fuzzy pink blanket. The cold of the barn seeped through his shirt, and as an afterthought, he zipped his puffy jacket shut.

“I don’t know what’s happening,” Steven mumbled, staring at Pearl. She was solidly unconscious, and the fact that he only felt relief when her eyes slipped shut was terrifying. His hands were trembling, and he shoved them into his pockets to hide it from Peridot. “I—I didn’t mean to knock her out. I just… wanted her to stop.”

“Understandably. She could have done real damage to her gem if she kept going on like that,” Peridot mused, tossing the pliers aside. She knelt beside Pearl, reaching for the restabilizer. It gleaned silver in the dim light, and Steven’s heart leapt into his chest.

“No! Don’t touch it.”

Peridot froze, flinching. Pumpkin bounded to her feet, growling.

Because of him. Guilt nearly made him choke. He hadn’t meant to dispel Peridot with such force, such violence. He just wanted her to stop hurting Pearl. He wanted Pearl to stop hurting.

But now Peridot skittered back several feet, watching him like an injured animal watched a hunter. Her voice was placating, and her smile seemed forced. “Ah, heh. I’ll just—wait over here. Not like I’m not an expert on Homeworld tech. Nooo. You’re the leader here. You can figure out a plan.”

“I’m sorry,” he blurted. Now his shoulders were trembling, and tears welled in his eyes. “Peridot, I’m sorry. I know you were just trying to help.”

For a moment, she considered him through the yellow tint of her visor. Then, cautiously, she said, “Yes. I was.” She sniffed, as if trying to decide how upset she really was about his reaction. Pumpkin barked, and Peridot pat her head before rubbing her arms. “But… you’re right, Steven. Whatever that was, it wasn’t helping.”

“It hurt her so much,” Steven swallowed past the cotton in his mouth. “I’ve never seen a Gem hurt like this.”

“That’s because Gems don’t hurt like this,” Peridot muttered, bending back over Pearl. She didn’t reach for the restabilizer again, but she still squinted at it. “Look at this wire. It’s bent, like it’s been hammered into this form. Homeworld would never be so tacky with something so delicate. Even a Bismuth could do a cleaner job.”

Steven stiffened. “W-What did you say?”

“I said, even a Bismuth could—”

“Bismuth?” The blood drained from Steven’s face. “You think she did this?” It—it didn’t make sense. Bismuth was bubbled in the Temple. He’d made sure of it. And she’d been in the business of shattering Gems, not torturing them.

But Peridot merely raised an eyebrow. “No. That’s what I’m saying. Bismuths would never work on something so tiny. And they wouldn't leave these marks.” She waved Steven over, and he cautiously peered at the restabilizer.

Pearl’s face captured his attention first, though. She looked… pale. Which was ridiculous, since she always had nearly-white skin. But now it looked like dried-out parchment, kind of wrinkly. Her brows knit together, even in her sleep, and the burns on her hands were vivid and terrifying.

Steven clenched his eyes shut for a moment, tried to replace what he was seeing now with his normal image of Pearl. Strong, smart, caring. She wasn’t feeling good now, but she’d get back to that Pearl soon. He’d make sure of it.

In the meantime, his eyes slid to the restabilizer. There were dents along the wire-thin strip of metal. Small things, and he’d never have noticed without Peridot’s help. Steven thought back to the Forge, to the weapons on display. To his mother’s sword. None of them had dent marks. Even when he watched Bismuth hammer molten metal, she left everything smooth.

Steven still made a note to double-check Bismuth’s bubble.

Peridot continued, oblivious to his train of thought. “It's clearly fine-tuned for a nastier purpose, so it was probably created by some kind of researcher. A Jeweler, perhaps.”

“What’s a Jeweler?”

Peridot rolled her eyes. “Stars, you really don’t know anything, do you?”

“Hey,” Steven said, hurt.

She waved him off. “Jewelers are the Diamonds’ best crafters. Usually Fayalites or Tephroites. Highly intelligent. They’re in the same vein as yours truly!” She grinned, as if expecting Steven to praise her intellect.

No, scratch that. That’s probably exactly what she expected.

When he crossed his arms and shot her an exasperated look, she coughed into her hand. “Ahem. Jewelers deal in subtler craftings. Less about image, more about function. Who do you think created the destabilizer in the first place? It certainly wasn’t a Bismuth!” She barked a laugh.

Pearl moaned at the sound, and they both stiffened. When it was clear she wasn’t going to wake, Peridot cleared her throat and lowered her voice. “They’re the only cut I know of with the Gem knowledge to create something like this. But—that still can’t be it, because the last time a Jeweler was on Earth, it was during the war. They’re long gone now.”

“Maybe the Diamonds sent one.”

“Well, she missed her target, then. I’m the only one important enough to warrant a torture device straight from a Jeweler herself,” Peridot muttered.

Maybe it was Steven’s imagination, but she sounded put-out.

He tossed up his hands. “Peridot, come on. This is serious. Pearl needs our help!”

“You think I don’t know that?” Peridot snapped, and tears welled in her eyes.

Oh. She wasn’t trying to be arrogant. “Confident” is how Steven would usually describe Peridot, but now he realized that she was just as scared. Scared that someone had created a device that destroyed what a Gem physically was. Scared that they’d targeted someone so close. Scared for Pearl. Maybe scared for who might be next on that person’s list.

The silence echoed between them.

Steven swallowed. “I’m sorry. I just keep thinking… what if we can’t get this thing off her? How much more of that can she take?”

“Judging by the glitch, not much,” Peridot said, wringing her hands.

“I was hoping my healing powers would fix it, somehow. But all it did was put her to sleep,” Steven sunk to his knees beside Pearl, wiping his eyes with the heel of his palm. “I don’t understand.”

Peridot swallowed and sat next to him, crossing her legs. Pumpkin wiggled her way onto Peridot’s lap, and she gripped the vegetable a little too hard. “It’s… possible… that this is the best thing for her. Maybe asleep, she doesn’t feel pain. That would preserve her mind, at least.”

“P-Preserve her mind?” he whispered.

Peridot pressed her lips together. “It’s just a theory.”

“Well, come up with another one,” Steven said, anger surging into his throat. Because Pearl was not losing her mind. She had a moment of panic. Just one, and when she woke up, she’d be back to normal, back to her kind and caring and funny self.

That was the only scenario Steven wanted to imagine.

Peridot frowned, silent. Then she said, “There might be a way to identify this. When Yellow Diamond assigned me to the Earth mission, I prepped by absorbing thousands of databases on the planet. Everything I could find was stored in my limb enhancers, including any mentions of Jewelers sent here during the war.”

Steven squinted at her, but for once, she didn’t sound desperate to find her precious limb enhancers. For once, they merely seemed like a means to an end. Which made his next words so hard: “We, ah, kind of kicked them off the galaxy warp. Into the ocean.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Peridot pouted. “Well, that’s it. I’m out of ideas. Unless someone could drop into the ocean and find—hey! Lazuli!”

Steven flinched at her suddenly raised voice, turning just in time to see Lapis stepping into the barn. The blue Gem raised an eyebrow, the corner of her lips tilting up as Peridot sprinted from Pearl’s side to engulf her in a hug.

“This is how we’re greeting each other now,” Peridot told Steven, pride filtering her voice. “According to Camp Pining Hearts, the ‘hug’ popular amongst friends.”

“And others,” Lapis replied, cheeks tinging as she gave Peridot a quick squeeze, then stepped out of her grasp.

At Steven’s side, Pearl groaned, brows clenching together. Her burned fingers twitched, like she was waking up. Panicked, Steven yelped, licking his hand and slapping it against her gem a second time. Her pearl glowed, restabilizer and all, and Pearl’s face smoothed immediately.

Lapis frowned. “Ah, do I want to know?”

“She freaked out,” Peridot exclaimed.

Steven glared, wiping his palm against his pants. “It’s… not good.”

“Oh. Well, Garnet sent me back to check on you guys. They’ve almost got the corrupted gems in Beach City subdued. Connie’s okay. She did really well,” Lapis said, then diverted her attention to Pearl. She rubbed her arms, her voice going soft. “Wow. That thing is really constricting her gem, isn’t it? Almost like she’s trapped.”

“I think it feels that way to her,” Steven said.

“Buuut we have an idea,” Peridot exclaimed, bouncing on her heels. “Lapis. Lapis. Go ahead. Ask me what the idea is.”

Lapis raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“We need you to take me to the bottom of the ocean, so I can find my limb enhancers!” Peridot tossed her hands out wide, grinning like they were going on a treasure hunt. To be fair, it probably seemed that way to her.

To Steven, it was just the next piece of the least-fun puzzle ever.

Lapis seemed to feel the same. “Ah, no, thanks. I’m not interested in taking another dive into the ocean right now.”

“But—you’re over your break with water. You go swimming all the time,” Peridot said, jerking a thumb at the aquarium behind them.

“Well, sure. Swimming in our pool. But that’s not the ocean.”

“But Lazuli—”

“Lapis, wait,” Steven said, shoving his hands back into his pockets as he pushed to his feet. Pearl remained behind him, wrapped in that fuzzy pink blanket. She was vulnerable, unconscious, and they had to protect her. “I’m really sorry, but if there’s a chance we can figure out what this thing is, we need those limb enhancers. I’d go with one of my bubbles, but I think you could find them faster, and P-Pearl,” his voice cracked, and he forced himself to finish, “Pearl may not have a lot of time. Please. Please help.”

Lapis glanced at the prone Gem. Seconds ticked by, where Steven was sure she’d refuse—and really, he wouldn’t make her do anything. The last thing he wanted was to pressure her into something she wasn’t comfortable with. But before he could say that, Lapis’ expression hardened. “Okay. I’ll do it. Garnet and Amethyst are coming back here, so wait for them. We’ll meet you back at your house once we find what we need.”

“Excellent,” Peridot pumped her fist. “I’m going to be so tall again. Lapis, you’ll love it.”

“We’ll see,” she said, drily, and knelt for Peridot to climb on her back. Her water wings spread, and she turned towards the open barn door. “Close this behind us, and stay safe, Steven. See you soon.”

“Okay. Good luck,” he said. “And Lapis? Thank you.”

She smiled, sadly. “Sure. Anything for you.”

“What about me?” Peridot exclaimed. “I’m the one who brought up the Jewelers in the first—” but her sentence cut off as Lapis pushed off the ground, speeding into the dying blizzard. In moments, Steven lost them in the haze of snow.

They’d find the limb enhancers. And he’d find Bismuth.

One way or another, they’d destroy this thing before Pearl deteriorated further.

He swore on it.

With Pumpkin at his heels, Steven towed the barn doors shut. Then he sat beside Pearl once more, stroking the vegetable’s smooth head as Pearl slumbered peacefully on a mound of blankets.

It was going to be a long day.

Chapter Text

Sleep was peaceful.

Waking wasn’t.

It was oblivion, right until whatever Steven had done wore off, and the pain slammed back into her. It started with her fingers, sharp stings from her burns. Then it reverberated up her body, aching muscles combined with light-level weariness that had her swallowing a moan. But her gem put the rest of it to shame. It felt like someone dug a white-hot thread into her skull and left it there to scald.

Tears pricked Pearl’s eyes, but she forced them open. It was bright. Too bright, despite the sunlight filtering through wooden blinds. She winced, swallowing a groan. What happened? Where was she?

A bed. Which was… odd. The only bed in the vicinity was Steven’s, and he should be the one sleeping here. But the facts were undeniable: a thick comforter offered weight over her sore limbs, and her fingers curled around white sheets—

Stiff fingers. Bandaged fingers. She raised one hand for inspection, squinting past the sunlight to see the linen strips painstakingly wrapped around each long digit.

“He tried to heal them, but it didn’t really work,” a familiar voice said, and Pearl stiffened, glancing right to see rainbow hair, dark skin, an abashed smile.

“Bismuth!” Pearl tried to exclaim, but her throat felt like sandpaper and she dissolved into coughs instead. Stabs of pain behind her gem had her groaning, and then a firm hand rested on her arm.

“Calm down,” the blacksmith said, voice low, tone soothing. “You’re fine, Pearl. You’re okay.”

Panic fluttered in Pearl’s core. “But—you were bubbled. You attacked Steven—”

Bismuth’s expression turned downcast, and she rubbed the back of her neck. “Hey, he’s the one who unbubbled me. Kid doesn’t hold grudges. I can respect that.”

“Oh,” Pearl whispered. Relief hit her hard and fast; Bismuth was still one of her best friends, despite what happened. And if she was alone in Steven’s bed with Bismuth watching guard, her fellow Crystal Gems must have already sorted things out.

Stars, how long was she asleep? Judging by the sun outside, it couldn’t have been more than a few hours, but an eternity must have passed for everyone else.

And then, the guilt. The worry. Because if she was sleeping in Steven’s bed, then Steven must not have gotten any sleep last night. He didn’t do well with exhaustion. It made him reckless, which wasn’t good for a normal little human, much less one fighting to keep Earth safe. Pearl tried to push upright. It took two tries, and then it only worked because she’d heavily braced herself against the wall. Her next words were gasped in pain.

“W-Where is everyone?”

Bismuth glanced over her shoulder. Rose’s pink sword was propped against the wall, beside a leather backpack Pearl immediately identified as Connie’s. Just lovely… was there anyone Steven hadn’t already involved in Pearl’s decline?

Well, Greg, but that’s only because he was staying with a friend in Empire City for the blizzard. Which seemed to have blown through town, so probably, he’d already be on his way home.

Pearl swallowed a groan.

Bismuth cleared her throat, holding up three fingers. “Ah, let’s see. Steven and his human friend went to a library? I think that’s what he called it. Something about identifying a flower that pink lion found.” She ticked one finger, glancing skyward. “And that peridot and lapis lazuli you apparently have on the team now? Steven said they’re ‘under the ocean.’”

Pearl had no idea what that meant, and by the look on Bismuth’s face, she didn’t either. But the blacksmith shrugged a massive shoulder and ticked another finger down. “And Garnet and Amethyst are following up on my lead.”

“Your lead?” Pearl reached unconsciously for the restabilizer, but stopped short when her fingers twinged in pain.

Bismuth tapped her own forehead. “That’s why Steven unbubbled me. No one better to identify that metal than yours truly.” Although her words should have been proud, her tone was almost… angry. “We’re gonna find who did this to you.”

“Not if I find them first,” Pearl snapped, tossing back the covers. Her cheeks felt hot, like Steven’s did when he was feverish. See, now this was why she insisted he avoid the cold. Humans were so vulnerable. Stand in a blizzard, get sick. Ridiculous.

Except here she was, having the same problems.

Terror coiled in her core, the first wave of fear since she’d woken up. It was like bending a cracked mirror, watching the hairline fractures snake their way to the edges. Watching the integrity of a usually tough material shatter.

That was happening to her now. Inside, out.

No escape from the glowing-hot thing around her gem.

Pearl’s breaths quickened, and she gripped the mattress like a lifeline. Steven. The Crystal Gems. She had to be strong for them. She couldn’t fall apart like last time. Couldn’t fall apart—

“Hey, hey, Pearl. I’m right here,” Bismuth said, taking hold of her shoulders. She didn’t suggest Pearl get back into bed. She didn’t patronize everything Pearl fought to become. She just held the smaller Gem’s petrified gaze and smiled slightly. “Don’t you wanna know what the metal is?”

“W-What is it?”

“Ruthenium.”

It was random enough to shock Pearl from her spiral of panic. She blinked hard, brows furrowing. “Ruthenium? What humans use on electrical contacts and resistors?”

“I dunno about that, but the Homeworld scientists loved finding that stuff. I remember on one planet, some Agate stopped my whole spire’s construction because I found ruthenium in the rock. Yellow Diamond ordered her Jewelers to collect it personally.” Bismuth rolled her eyes. “Put me three decades behind schedule. Which wound up being perfect timing, since my next assignment was Earth.” Now she offered a wink and elbowed Pearl good-naturedly.

But the mere force of her arm was enough to make Pearl gasp.

Bismuth froze, eyes widening. “Stars, Steven wasn’t kidding.”

“It’s nothing,” Pearl laughed, but the sound was strained, laced with pain. She forced a smile, rubbing the spot of contact. “So where can you find ruthenium?”

“I suggested a few spots, but it’s a pretty rare metal. And it’s been… a while. Five thousand years in a bubble hasn’t made me the best resource for Earthen metals.”

“Well, perhaps it’s time we fix that,” Pearl said, reaching for Rose’s sword. It was the perfect height for a crutch, and would work in a pinch if she had to fight. Stars knew her spear was inaccessible.

“Woah, woah,” Bismuth moved into her path, blocking the stairs. On the base level, Pearl caught a glimpse of Lion, lounging on the sofa. The massive creature glanced up, yawned, and turned onto its back, paws in the air.

Bismuth, meanwhile, held up her hands. “Steven asked me to keep you here. He was very insistent.”

Pearl scoffed. “Steven is a child. Despite good intentions, he—”

“Pearl.” Bismuth’s tone cut her off cold. The blacksmith pressed her lips together, frowning. “He’s scared outta his mind for you. And—I’m startin’ to see why.”

And here she’d thought Bismuth, of all Gems, would understand. Gritting her teeth, Pearl forced her gaze to focus, leaning heavily against the pommel of the pink sword. It swayed dangerously underneath her, but she refused to fall. Refused to show that kind of weakness.

“I’ll be fine once I get this thing off my gem.”

“I’m sure you will,” Bismuth said, almost placating.

Pearl glared at her.

The blacksmith laughed, a full-bodied sound. “You don’t have to look at me like that. I remember you in the war. Gems would see your spear glinting in the sunlight and run for cover. Nothing kept you down.”

“Yes, exactly,” Pearl exclaimed, a hint of desperation in her voice. “That’s what I’m saying! I’m fine.”

Bismuth crossed her arms. “Listen, I respect the stars outta you. Rising above your station, becoming Rose’s right-hand Gem, standing up to the Diamonds—” Her tone had risen with each word, and now she paused, shoulders drooping. “You’re one of the smartest Gems I know. So be real with yourself. This ain’t like anything we’ve seen before. It might wind up cracking your gem, or worse. And you know who’d be devastated if that happened.”

“You…?” Pearl joked.

“Answer’s actually all of us.” She chuckled.

Pearl blushed, her gaze dropping to the ground.

Bismuth clapped her shoulder, being far too gentle this time. “All I’m sayin’ is you should take it easy. You tell me the war’s over. So why are you fighting so hard?”

“I—I don’t think I know how to stop,” Pearl whispered.

For a moment, Bismuth didn’t reply, and the words filled the space between them. The sword’s pommel cut into Pearl’s arm, causing her to wince and readjust her grip on it. Her bandaged hands stung where she gripped the handle, a stark reminder that she wasn’t okay.

She wasn’t.

Tears filled her eyes. “What if it never comes off, Bismuth?”

The blacksmith swallowed hard, running a hand through her rainbow hair. “I don’t have all the answers. But I do know you’ve got the most dedicated group of friends fighting for you. There’s no way we don’t get all the best minds of the war together and come up empty.”

But Pearl wasn’t listening anymore. Her eyes had drifted down, down, down. Settled right on Rose’s sword.

Rose’s sword. Bismuth’s finest creation. Guaranteed to slice through a Gem’s physical form in one motion, poof them out of existence, leave their gems scattered on the battlefield, waiting for a bubble.

Or for a “dedicated group of friends” to wrench this thing off, by any means necessary.

Excitement raced through her, and maybe it was her imagination, but she swore her pain lessened. Her feet felt sturdier as she wrenched the sword out of its sheath, turned the pink blade towards Bismuth.

“Woah, watch where you slice that thing,” Bismuth backpedaled a few steps, forcing a laugh it was clear she didn’t feel. “I’ve been poofed enough by my own work. You feelin’ okay, Pearl?”

“Never better, once you poof me with it,” Pearl said, and even she didn’t miss the edge of hysteria on her voice.

Bismuth’s expression went deadpan. “Ah, what?”

“Poof me, Bismuth. Send me back to my gem, and then you can sort this out while I’m gone. I’ll reform like new!”

“Garnet said it forced you to regenerate. Sounds like I won’t have enough time to—”

“I’ll fight it!” Excitement thrummed through Pearl, washing away the aches, the fever, the pain of her burns and her gem. She swayed on her feet, but didn’t dare drop the sword. “Now I know what to expect. Now I can take the fight to that thing whispering in my ear. I’ll rip that voice to shreds.”

Bismuth stared like she’d gone mad. “Maybe we should wait for Steven or the others—”

“What for? You made this sword, didn’t you?” Pearl nearly snarled. “Don’t you trust your own ability to craft a weapon? Weren’t you so proud of that shatterer Rose poofed you for?”

“Pearl! I’m not gonna poof you!” Bismuth shouted.

And tears rimmed her dark eyes.

The sword clattered to the ground. Pearl stared, shoulders shaking, covering her mouth as she backed against Steven’s bed. As she sunk onto the plush mattress.

Bismuth wiped her eyes with the heel of her palm, glancing away. “I just got back. No one would forgive me if I tried something like that.” Her voice was barely a whisper, but the anguish of missing so much, of sitting alone for millennia because of past mistakes, was impossible to miss.

Pearl swallowed past the sudden lump in her throat. All her aches, all her pain, it rushed back in a tidal wave, drowning her. Her voice was thin, weak. “I’m s-sorry.”

Downstairs, Lion twisted on the couch, paws thumping to the hardwood. He yawned, the only sound in the house, then scratched at the screen door. When neither Gem moved, he dug his claws into it, raking them down. The ripping sound made Bismuth flinch.

“Hang on, you zombie feline. Give us a minute,” Bismuth said.

Pearl stared at the discarded sword, shoulders hunched, head pounding. “If you don’t let him out, he’ll keep doing that. I’ve replaced that screen eighteen times this month.”

“Great,” Bismuth muttered.

At the door, Lion yowled. But it didn’t sound like a displeased animal hungering for the outside. No, it was closer to a warning call, something she only heard when—

A crash echoed on the beach, and the house shook.

“What the—”

“They’re back,” Pearl exclaimed, pushing to her feet. But sharp pain slammed into her, and when she blinked it away, she was back on the mattress, barely staying upright. Her vision blurred, dotting with black, even as Bismuth clenched her fist into a massive hammer and sprinted down the stairs.

“Stay here, Pearl. I’ll handle this,” Bismuth growled, and Lion roared, and they sprinted outside.

Another corrupted gem? That made three attacks in less than a day. Even when Jasper was running loose, they hadn’t dealt with that many incidents. And—and Steven and Connie were at Beach City’s library—what if they were crushed by falling debris—or maimed by the corrupted gem’s razor claws—or—or—

“Aaargh!” Pearl shouted, and staggered to her feet once more. She had to help. Rest? Relaxation? What a joke. Other Pearls stood around looking pretty, but not her. She was a Crystal Gem, for star’s sake.

But before she took a step, she kicked Rose’s sword.

And stopped short.

Because realistically, her gem was throbbing, her head was swimming, her vision already beginning to black out. Summoning her weapon would summon excruciating pain. What was she going to do? Run onto the beach and get trampled herself?

Steven had his bubble and his shield. Connie was resourceful, smart. And Bismuth was one of the best fighters the Crystal Gems had ever seen. Even Lion could hold his own.

Pearl couldn’t. Not today. Not like this.

But—maybe—if she poofed, held off that hissing voice long enough for Bismuth to win the fight, rush back home, find her prone gem waiting… Maybe she really would regenerate to her old self.

Sometimes, a Pearl had to take things into her own hands.

Sometimes, a Pearl could do what a Bismuth couldn’t.

With a grin splitting her face, Pearl reached a glitching hand towards the pink sword.

Chapter Text

The warp pad’s chime hadn’t yet faded when the light cleared to reveal the chaos.

For a second, Garnet thought her eyes were glitching. Her third one had been blurry since this all started, and that was exhausting enough. She imagined it was like a human with poor eyesight, squinting (in vain) to try and bring something into focus. It was giving her a headache to keep trying. But now, as she stared at the scene before her, her flawed future vision was the least of her worries.

Because this had already happened.

Blood spilled across the floor. But—no, not blood. That was a distinctly human element; Gems didn’t bleed. No, this was something different, something… other. Light manifesting into a gooey liquid that seeped blue from Pearl’s chest, puddling around her arms, splattered on Rose’s discarded sword, soaking into Bismuth’s apron.

Bismuth, who was bent over Pearl’s prone form.

Garnet didn’t want to believe it. Bismuth was a friend. They’d talked, laughed with Steven, smiled at each other. Garnet peered into Bismuth’s future, saw her fighting to keep Pearl safe, and felt utterly confident saying, “You’re in charge of protecting her.”

And Bismuth had smirked, fondly, and replied, “What else is new?”

Beside Garnet, Amethyst inhaled sharply.

Inside, Ruby screamed, a heated sound that almost had Garnet unfusing right there on the warp pad. Ice instantly splintered her mind, a desperate attempt from Sapphire to remain calm, think this through.

Too late.

“What are you doing?” Garnet roared. The house blurred past as she came to a pained stop beside Bismuth, wrenching the Gem away from her friend. Pinning her to the wall.

“Garnet!” Amethyst exclaimed.

Bismuth didn’t even try to struggle. Bright tears spilled past her dark eyes as she stared past Garnet, straight at Pearl. Her words were gasped, nearly incoherent. “I don’t—I didn’t think she’d—”

Release her, Ruby! She didn’t know, Sapphire shouted.

Garnet dropped Bismuth, trembling as she gave the blacksmith some space. Stars, what was she doing? Of course Bismuth wouldn’t hurt Pearl. Bismuth loved Pearl. With a flick, she removed her visor so the other Gem could see her own eyes tearing up. “I’m sorry. I—I couldn’t see.”

“Me neither,” Bismuth mumbled, rubbing her neck as she staggered around Garnet, back to Pearl.

Amethyst was already beside Pearl, hands hovering over her still form like she didn’t know what to do. Panic filtered into her voice. “Is she dead? P, can you hear me? Say something!”

But Pearl didn’t even flinch. She wasn’t breathing—not that that meant much, for a Gem, but it was still morbidly alarming. This wasn’t supposed to be possible. It shouldn’t have happened, and as such, Garnet didn’t have a clue on how to fix it.  

Bismuth talked to the open space, distant and disconnected. “A corrupted gem attacked. While I was gone, s-she used Rose’s sword, but it didn’t poof her. Why didn’t it poof her?” That last sentence was wrenched from her very core.

Just based on the visual evidence, the sword should have poofed Pearl. It looked like she tried to slice through her arm, but only managed a deep groove that was now oozing this weird, blue blood. No Gem made it to that point without poofing, not from Rose’s blade. Bismuth had been tireless in designing it, and it had become the workhorse of the war.

Garnet could imagine Pearl’s desperation when it didn’t work. Could imagine her inching from her spot at the base of the stairs to lean against the wall. Imagine her turning the blade in linen-wrapped fingers. Imagine her gripping the curved, pink pommel, driving the blade into her chest.

Yeah? And how’d that work out for you? Ruby cried, and tears streamed down Garnet’s cheeks.

She couldn’t have known, Sapphire whispered. Stars, I hope she didn’t know.

“Pearl! Open your eyes,” Amethyst begged. She took hold of Pearl’s cheeks, smooshed them together in a way Pearl usually hated.

The Gem was still.

Garnet’s core twisted. She felt paralyzed, looking at the body of her oldest friend. This wasn’t a cracked gem. Wasn’t a shattering. This was something worse, something raw and unnatural.

Ruby was screaming and Sapphire was shuddering and all Garnet could do was stare.

Right until the front door was thrown open, and Steven and Connie strolled inside. Steven was scratched up a bit, and was dusting beach sand from his hair as he said, “—and the bubble goes right to the temple’s basement for safekeeping. I’ll have to show you—” he stopped short when his foot squelched in the blood.

“Steven, no—” Garnet gasped, but it was too late.

His eyes followed the smeared path from the stairs to the wall, saw Pearl, and screamed.

Bismuth leapt away, fresh tears brimming in her eyes. “I’m sorry. Steven, I’m so, so sorry—”

“Pearl!” Her name was wrenched from his throat, and he licked one hand, both hands, all-but shoving Amethyst aside to slap them against her gaping wounds. The spots glowed, and everyone held their breaths.

But then the restabilizer’s silver finish shifted to white-hot orange, like it was burning Pearl from the inside-out. And a fresh gush of blood surged from her wounds.

Pearl moaned past a shallow, pained breath.

Garnet pressed a hand to her mouth, torn between utter relief that Pearl was still alive to abject horror that she’d never stop hurting.

The restabilizer shifted back to silver. Like nothing happened.  

“It didn’t work,” Steven whimpered. “What is this thing? Why doesn’t it ever work?” He licked his hands again, and again the restablizer grew white-hot and the wounds festered.

Except this time, Pearl began convulsing, violent and instant. Her eyes opened unconsciously, her blue irises sliding into her skull. Her mouth went slack, her head falling back in Steven’s arms.

He tightened his grip, trying to hold her steady. “No—Pearl!”

“Steven, move,” Connie snapped, pushing all the Crystal Gems away from Pearl, forming a circle of space around them. “She’s having a seizure. You have to release her! If you hold her, you’re just going to hurt her more.”

Tears pouring down his face, he put her on the ground and inched back.

Garnet couldn’t stop watching the blood that gushed from her movements. Where was it coming from? Humans had a limited amount in their bodies. Gems didn’t have it at all, though, so she had no way of knowing if Pearl was losing a dangerous amount.

And she’d never seen a Gem experience a… what did Connie call it? A seizure?

Ruby and Sapphire were barely holding together, now. Garnet gripped her arms, a physical attempt to hold her fusion while Pearl’s convulsing slowed, stopped. If possible, the Gem was even paler now.

“We have to stop the bleeding,” Connie ordered, taking control as seamlessly as Garnet usually did. “Amethyst, get me towels from the bathroom. Steven, find me some antiseptic or alcohol. We’re gonna need bandages too.”

“W-Wait,” Steven stammered. “She’s not human, Connie. That’s not going to help!”

“All of the symptoms you told me are human symptoms,” Connie replied, pressing her hands against the wound on Pearl’s chest. Blood bubbled around her fingers, but she gritted her teeth and applied more pressure. “Burns, headaches, fevers, seizures? If Gem healing can’t help, what do we lose by trying human measures?”

Steven swallowed hard, exchanged a look with Amethyst, and sprinted away.

Bismuth, however, ran a hand through her hair and demanded, “What about Rose’s fountain?”

“If Steven’s healing powers are making the restabilizer burn Pearl, imagine what putting her into a fountain of the stuff would do,” Garnet said, grinding her teeth. Bismuth frowned, and Garnet pressed forward. “Our only option now is finding who did this, and forcing them to undo it. Connie, did you identify the flower?”

“No, ma’am,” Connie said, grimly. Considering she was elbow-deep in Pearl’s blood, her calm voice was remarkable. Not that Garnet expected anything less from the human. “It looks like some variation of azalea, but it’s blue, and from what we can tell, azaleas… aren’t. And we’re not sure why it was flowering at all this time of year.”

“Flowers can grow inside,” Bismuth said, then seemed to consider the statement and asked instead, “Right?”  

Connie replied, “They can, but—”

“It doesn’t matter,” Garnet snapped, and her tone made them flinch. Inside, Sapphire chided Ruby for being rude, but Pearl was dying on their hardwood floor. She was sick of listening to people bicker, sick of watching blood ooze from her dearest friend’s chest, sick of thinking about what might happen without her future vision to confirm one way or another.

She was just… sick.

Anger boiled in her core, and Garnet clenched her fists. “It doesn’t matter,” she repeated, tensely. “All that matters is that we have no leads and no way to find the Gem responsible for this!” With a snarl, she slammed one fist into the wall. Connie yelped, even as the wood crunched under Garnet’s hand.   

“Garnet,” Steven shouted, and he sounded just as irate. He’d stepped back from the bathroom with Amethyst, who still watched Pearl with raw fear and horror. Both of them were laden with first-aid supplies. “If you can’t do something useful, leave.”

Best suggestion I’ve heard all day, Ruby hissed.

No! W-We need to help Pearl— Sapphire tried.

Ruby wasn’t having it. THEY can help Pearl. We need to think. We need to see.

“Fine,” Garnet said, quietly, and turned towards the warp pad. Just a few steps away, though, Bismuth caught her arm. The blacksmith was gentle, but Garnet still flinched, still spun towards her with an accusing glare.

Bismuth held up her hands, dropping her gaze to the ground. “Garnet. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I know you are.” But she couldn’t quite say the next words: it’s not your fault.

It wasn’t. Garnet knew that. But Ruby was irrational and Sapphire was scared, and they’d left Pearl with supervision for a reason. Based on what Steven told them about the barn, she hadn’t been in her right mind for hours. And then some attack happens and Bismuth just happens to leave the sword and Pearl just manages to stab herself and now—

Her form began to glow white, and panic and anger raced through her. She was unfusing, again, and it wasn’t what Pearl needed or Steven needed or anyone needed. They needed Garnet, formed and in control, giving orders and fixing things like always. They needed a leader, and what was she now?

Trembling and pathetic, that’s what.

Bismuth frowned, taking Garnet’s shoulders as if she could physically hold the fusion together. And—it partially worked. It grounded Ruby and Sapphire enough to hear her next words:

“Hey! Look at me. You’re not gonna fall apart over this, okay? This is my fault, and I’m gonna fix it.”

“No! It’s not your fault,” Garnet said, gripping her skull with gem-studded hands. “It’s mine. I should have seen it coming, Bismuth. I’m the one who told her to fight on the beach. I’m the one who didn’t detect the attacker lurking under the house. Me. And look! I still can’t do anything. We didn’t find the ruthenium deposits, and we have no idea who we’re looking for. And everything around her future is muddy!”

Bismuth’s eyes widened. “Oooh. I get it.”

For some reason, that made Garnet even angrier. “Get what?”

“You’re more than your future vision. You know that, right?”

Garnet stilled.

Bismuth took a step back, rubbing her arms as she glanced at Pearl’s still form, at Connie and Steven and Amethyst fighting to save her life. Her words were soft, only audible to Garnet. “No one follows you because you can see the future. The Crystal Gems follow you now, because you always know what to do.”

“I don’t know what to do. I can’t see.”

“Then feel instead,” Bismuth said. “You think I rely on my eyes in the forge? It’s all feeling. Feeling the right temperature, the impact pressure, the shape of the metal as it becomes something new. A core feeling can go a long way.”

Feeling. Garnet closed her eyes, centering herself. Here comes a thought, Ruby and Sapphire hummed together. And her form stabilized, once again solid and whole.

“There you go,” Bismuth offered a sad, apologetic smile.  

Garnet offered a thumbs-up. Bismuth returned it, and somehow, despite everything, they were okay.

And then the chime of the warp pad echoed through the house, and Garnet spun to see Peridot and Lapis appearing in a flash of light. Their mission had apparently been successful, because Peridot was perched on her limb enhancers, cackling madly. Although the one was still missing a foot, and she’d only seemed to recover seven of the ten fingers, she seemed positively gleeful.

“-ake fun of me all you want, Lazuli, but you’re just jealous I’m taller. Don’t bother lying.”

“Yep,” Lapis drawled, a soft smirk on her face. “You got me—” she cut herself off with a strangled sound, gasping as she took in the scene. Eyes glazing past Bismuth and Garnet, past Amethyst and Steven and Connie, straight to Pearl. She covered her mouth. “What happened?”

Peridot nearly tripped over her limb enhancers stepping off the warp pad. Her eyes widened. “Oh, no.”

Bismuth nudged Garnet, and inside her core, Ruby and Sapphire straightened. No more moping. No more anguish. Pearl needed a leader, and stars-darned it all, she’d fill the role. Her voice was pointed, authoritarian. “Peridot. We’re going to need everything you have on the Jewelers.”

“Ah… right.” Although her thin green shoulders were trembling and her eyes were glued to Pearl and the blood, she dutifully refigured her fingers into a screen.

Finally, they were getting somewhere.

Chapter Text

The kindergarten seemed gloomy, now.

Peridot used to love it: the towering cliffs, like walking in the shadows of the Diamonds themselves. The thousands of exit holes, each echoing with the created Gem’s potential, the armies of the Authority awaiting orders. But mostly, Peridot loved the sense of belonging. Because in the kindergarten, she wasn’t just a useless era two Gem who couldn’t fight, couldn’t shapeshift, could barely manipulate metal.

No, in the kindergarten, she was the authority. Superior Gems looked to her to troubleshoot, to decipher, to identify. And she’d been crafted with all the knowledge to impress.

Perhaps that was how a Pearl felt, standing vigil beside her master. That satisfaction of performing exactly as intended, and excelling in subtle ways most didn’t notice. But even if she went unpraised, that Pearl would know her job well-done.

Perhaps that was how their Pearl felt, slicing through a battlefield during the War.

A different purpose, but none less satisfying.

But the kindergarten just seemed gloomy now. Low-hanging clouds, dead earth, and the ominous possibility of rogue Gems hiding somewhere in between. The moment the light from the warp cleared, Peridot’s core clenched in anxiety.

Not that she’d dare show it. This was her domain, after all. So she made a point to be the first off the warp pad. Of course, her metal foot caught on the corner of the crystal and she nearly face-planted instead.

“Careful!” Lapis caught Peridot’s arm—her light-based form, not the metal of the arm attachments—, and raised a questioning eyebrow.

Desperately, Peridot righted herself, stepping away from Lapis. But her cheeks still burned.

To be fair, the learning curve on her limb enhancers was… steep. And Peridot knew that was ridiculous; they’d been disposed of mere months ago. Considering she used them for a couple millennia before that, reattaching them should have been simple.

But her fingers and toes were cramped and she kept tripping and her metal powers had grown so strong that controlling the stubby fingers took more concentration, more effort to form the octagonal screen instead of sending touch stumps flying in every direction.

Plus, Lapis didn’t like them.

That shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did. Peridot wanted them back for so long. They were her last link to Homeworld, a physical representation of her true purpose as a certified Kindergartener. Without her limb enhancers, she was nothing.

With them, maybe she could become a Gem worthy of a Lapis Lazuli’s time.

That’s what she hoped, anyway. But today, strolling around (stumbling around), Peridot felt ridiculous. Especially flanked by one of the very Gems who’d tossed the limb enhancers into the ocean in the first place.

So when Lapis asked, “You okay?” Peridot gritted her teeth and pushed past, wincing at every metallic step.

“Fine. Just fine.”

“Okay, Peridot. Where to?” Garnet said. Although her voice remained steady, her jaw clenched and her eyes flashed. “We don’t have much time.”

Well, no kidding. Pearl had been drenched in that weird blue substance, that… blood. She hadn’t been breathing, and Gems even “breathed” in space. It was programmed into their humanoid appearances, yet another manipulation tactic to make local fauna feel at ease in the face of an invading species.

If they couldn’t remove the restabilizer, and Steven’s healing powers—the same one that stitched cracked gems back together—had failed, well… that meant they were nearly out of options.

It was foolish of them to keep trying. A waste of time.

And yet, Peridot’s core clenched as she recalled Pearl pale, unconscious, hurt.

That was the same Gem who terrified Homeworld, triumphed in the War, who stood up for her friends and broke society’s mold and earned a nickname as terrifying as she was with a pair of swords.

Pearl didn’t deserve this.

And so, with Garnet’s question hanging in the air, Peridot didn’t hesitate to order her metal fingers into that octagonal screen. They wobbled, much to her irritation, before locking into place.

Stars, this used to be so easy.

The screen displayed what she’d found: a blinking yellow dot on a map of the Prime Kindergarten. Her words were matter-of-fact, devoid of the emotion raging in her core. “The Jewelers had an outpost beside the kindergarten. Records say two Fayalites and one Tephroite were delivered late in the War.” She turned the screen for them to see, pointing one touch stump at the blinking dot. “Here’s where they operated.”

Lapis rubbed her arms as she stared at it. “Great. More remnants of the war.”

“The whole planet is a remnant of the war,” Garnet said, setting her sights on the direction of the Jeweler outpost. “Come on.” Without waiting for a reply, she hopped off the warp pad’s cliff, landing with a heavy thump at the ground level.

Bismuth followed, and her impact left a divot in the rock.

Lapis offered a hand to Peridot, spreading wings of water. “Fly you down?”

Ooh, oooh. Finally, a moment to shine! Peridot’s chest swelled, and she feigned disinterest in Lapis’ waiting hand, stepping to the edge of the cliff. “Oh, Lazuli. That was the old me. Now I can fly myself!” And with a bit of concentration, her touch stumps leveled perpendicular to the ground and began to spin.

She risked a glance at Lazuli, who… still looked unimpressed. Why wasn’t she impressed?

“Peridot—” Lapis exclaimed, and a second later, the cliff under her metal foot crumbled, and she fell.

Apparently, those three missing fingers were important to her limb enhancers’ operation.

Who knew?

Before she could even scream, though, she crashed into the Bismuth. They toppled to the ground, and Lapis landed beside them a second later. Peridot ached, briefly, but the architect didn’t seem harmed.

No, she just pushed rainbow hair out of her eyes and laughed. “Not sure if that was necessary, but it was flashy.”

Lapis was staring, lips pursed, and Peridot squeaked in embarrassment. “That wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to fly!”

Bismuth replied instead: “Well, you fell pretty spectacularly.”

“Aaargh,” Peridot cried, pushing the Bismuth away. She scrambled to her feet, pointedly avoiding Lapis’ gaze. “Who even are you, huh? You just show up out of nowhere claiming to be a Crystal Gem, but I’ve never heard of you!”

“I agree,” Lapis squinted at Bismuth. “You look familiar, but no one ever mentioned you.”

“Enough,” Garnet barked, sounding thoroughly unamused. “We don’t have time for this. Peridot. Lazuli. Bismuth is a friend, and one we’ll need moving forward. Unless you two can suddenly identify mineral deposits that created the restabilizer?”

Peridot scuffed the ground with her limb enhancer’s metal toe. It wasn’t as satisfying. “No,” she mumbled.

“Pearl doesn’t need this. Let’s go.”

Lapis scowled, but when Garnet stomped in the direction Peridot pointed, they all fell in line behind her. Of course, as they wound through the towering canyon, Lazuli fell further and further behind. Peridot focused on placing her feet correctly, on not tripping again, but every second she debated falling back to join Lapis.

Of course, that was before Bismuth fell in step beside her.

“Those are some pretty fancy weapons,” she remarked.

“They’re not weapons,” Peridot said past gritted teeth. Then she glanced at the hovering touch stumps and amended, “Mostly.”

Garnet was several paces ahead of them, and Lapis was pretty far behind. Bismuth glanced at them both before sighing. “Look, I don’t know what I did to offend you, but I’m sorry. I’m just trying to fit in here. I’ve been gone a while.”

Peridot considered her for a moment, then sighed. “It’s—not you.”

“It’s your friend, huh?” Bismuth’s dark eyes flicked towards Lazuli.

Peridot stiffened, and promptly tripped on a rock. She staggered, caught herself just in time, and growled frustration. “No! It has nothing to do with her!” Her voice squeaked like it always did when she got angry or emotional, and that just made Peridot even more irate. “Gah! Mind your own business!”

“Don’t you mean, mind your own Bismuth?” the Gem offered a weak smile.

Peridot stopped and stared.

Oh stars, that was good. She began to laugh, first a chuckle, then full-on cackling. “Mind my own—haha! That was funny. You’re funny!”

“I try,” Bismuth said, clapping Peridot on the back. She staggered again under the force of the motion, but this time, she didn’t mind so much.

They resumed walking, keeping a brisk pace to match Garnet’s. Peridot checked their progress on the map, but Garnet seemed to have a good eye for direction, despite only seeing the route in passing.

In the silence, Bismuth said, “Ah, maybe I shouldn’t ask, but… what were they doing here? The Jewelers?”

“During the war?” Bismuth nodded, and Peridot shrugged a shoulder. “Most of it is still classified, but the threat should be obvious. Rose Quartz could heal Gems.” Peridot grinned now, smug satisfaction. “I bet the Diamonds were terrified. Just imagine those clods, scrambling to find something to keep their enemies broken.”

“Apparently they found the restabilizer,” Bismuth murmured.

“Five thousand years too late,” Peridot said, crossing her arms. Her gaze dropped to the dusty ground, the dead earth that provided an army of enemies—and allies—for Rose Quartz. She imagined Pearl fighting by the Quartz’s side, spear gleaming, fierce and beautiful.

Like Lapis.

Stars, what if there were more restabilizers in existence? If they were going by Gem strength, Lapis would be next. She should have been first, really. Everyone knew she was the most powerful Crystal Gem.

And what if she was outfitted with one of these things? She’d deteriorate, just like Pearl. Withering away into a husk of the Gem she once was… and she was already so damaged, so hurt, after the war. Peridot had just gotten her to a point of happiness. Watching her in Pearl’s position would be… hell.

A sick feeling spread through her core, and Peridot glanced over her shoulder. Lapis was still lagging behind, staring at the thousands of exit holes, rubbing her arms.

Bismuth noticed. She patted Peridot’s shoulder and said, “I’m gonna go talk with Garnet.” Her expression turned meaningful, almost coy. “We should walk in pairs… for safety. You know.”

“…Right,” Peridot said, squinting at her. “For safety.”

Bismuth smirked and picked up her pace, catching up with Garnet easily. Peridot, however, stopped walking entirely, drawing a deep breath before turning to face Lapis. She forced a smile, her metal fingers fidgeting at her sides as Lapis raised an eyebrow.

“I thought you didn’t want to walk with me,” she said.

Peridot almost laughed. She always wanted to walk with Lapis. But she was trying to play it cool today. Yeah. With her limb enhancers, she wasn’t the goofy Peridot, an amusing anecdote to make Lapis laugh. No, she was sophisticated.

She tried to adjust her visor like Garnet always did, but the yellow glass was an appearance modifier, adhered to her face just like her “clothes” were. It was as much a part of her form as her eyes or nose, so all she did was brush her fingers against the glass.

Be cool. Sophisticated. “Well, you know. The Bismuth said we should walk together. For safety.”

“…Sure,” Lapis said after a long moment. “Safety.”

“There’s a dangerous Gem about.”

Lapis squinted at Peridot, which only made her squirm. After a moment, the water Gem crossed her arms, voice accusatory. “You’ve been acting weird for hours, Peridot. What’s going on?” Her voice dropped. “Are you—are you mad at me?”

“What?” Peridot squeaked. “Why would I be mad at you?”

Stars darned it all. Be cool, Peridot!

“I don’t know. You attached those limb enhancers and… became someone else,” Lapis pressed her lips into a firm line. “You’re acting like you did on the ship, with Jasper.”

Oh.

Oh.

The ship, where they’d all-but made Lapis a prisoner. The ship, where Jasper had bullied her—nearly tortured her—into revealing everything she knew about the few friends she’d made. Even back then, Jasper’s methods had made Peridot flinch, but she had a mission from Yellow Diamond, and that wasn’t taken lightly.

Now she stumbled over a rock, staggering again to keep her balance. Her metal arms felt foreign, heavy against her light-based skin. She could barely raise her shoulders under their weight—under the weight of what she’d done, back then.

“I’m… that’s not me anymore, Lapis! I’m a good friend now. Aren’t I?” Her words were almost desperate.

“You are,” Lapis said, quickly. “I just want to make sure you’re okay. Why are you acting so different now?”

Peridot clenched her fingers, but released them just as fast. She’d thought she was being subtle. Cool. But obviously, she’d made a grave error somewhere. Obviously, this wasn’t what Lapis wanted. “I was hoping to impress you,” she mumbled.

“Impress me?”

And Lapis burst out laughing.

Peridot hunched, scuffing her limb enhancers against the dirt. Several paces ahead, far from the conversation, Garnet and Bismuth had emerged from the edge of the canyon, leaving the prime kindergarten behind. They paused at a massive, gorgeous field of flowers, a stunning reminder of what could have been destroyed if Peridot’s mission had succeeded.

It made her feel even smaller. How stupid she’d been.

“What?” she muttered. “What’s so funny? Huh?”

“N-Nothing,” Lapis gasped past more giggles. “Just that you think you have to impress me.”

Peridot threw her arms out wide. “Well, yeah. I mean, look at you! Look at what you can do. I can’t terraform an element. I can’t fight like you. All I can do is move a few metal pieces, and even that’s barely useful!” Her words became angrier, louder, to the point that Garnet and Bismuth glanced back in alarm.

Lapis, however, looked horrified. Her brows knit together, and she took a physical step forward. “Peridot—”

“At least with my limb enhancers, I can be someone,” Peridot said, clenching her fists inside the metal arms.  

“You’re someone without those stupid things,” Lapis snapped, and the ferocity of her voice surprised Peridot. She blinked, even as Lapis gripped her shoulders. “You’re important. You’re valuable. Do you really think I care whether or not you can fight?”

“Erm… yes?”

“No,” Lapis rolled her eyes. “Just because I can terraform doesn’t mean I want to. Stars, look where it got me! Thrown onto the battlefield where my gem was cracked. Used as a tool in a war I didn’t care about. Pulled as an informant for—” she cut herself off, dropping her head. “Do you know why we’re friends?”

“Because we live together?” Peridot said, deadpan.

“Because you’re a totally different person on Earth,” Lapis replied. “Because you’re someone I actually enjoy being around. Because you embraced who you really are, which is a funny, smart, caring Gem. And you can be that with or without those stupid limb enhancers.”

Peridot glanced at her metal limbs, flexing the seven fingers they’d managed to retrieve. Her cheeks colored, and she swallowed hard. “Wow. Thanks.”

“Don’t forget it,” Lapis said, and pulled her into a hug.

Warmth spread through Peridot’s core. Her smile wasn’t forced this time.

And then Garnet called her name and ruined the moment: “Peridot! We have to move. Where’s the Jeweler base?”

Lapis huffed, but Peridot just kept thinking of that restabilizer, and whether or not there were more of them. She and Lapis could talk anytime, but Pearl might not have the day if they didn’t move fast.

“Ah, coming!” She manipulated the metal fingers into their screen position once more, tapping away to bring up the map as she sprinted to Bismuth and Garnet. The yellow dot was only a few feet away from where they stood, and Peridot squinted at it as Lapis came up beside her. “It says it’s nearby.”

Bismuth and Garnet spread out, scouring the grassy field that abutted the kindergarten. The sky was gloomy again, heavy with more snow, casting everything in a gray light. Even the kindergarten at their backs made Peridot shiver.

They were feet from the possible suspect of Pearl’s restabilizer. And if that wasn’t the case, if this mystery Gem wasn’t responsible, then they were nowhere.

And somehow, that was scarier.

Lapis hadn’t moved from Peridot’s side. She glanced upright, shielding her eyes against the soft glare of the clouds, and said, “What are the odds that the Jeweler base is concealed?”

“High,” Peridot replied matter-of-factly. “Jewelers weren’t combatants. That’s why they constructed a base beside the Prime Kindergarten. Safer when there are hundreds of Quartz soldiers patrolling the area.”

“And did they have limb enhancers too?”

Peridot tapped away from the map, drawing up everything she had on the Jewelers: the two Fayalites and one Tephroite deployed to Earth. Their pictures didn’t denote limb enhancers, but that didn’t mean much. “It’s a possibility,” she said after a moment’s examination.

“Then I think I found it,” Lapis said, and jerked a thumb halfway up the kindergarten’s cliff face, to a dark opening that clearly wasn’t an Amethyst’s exit hole.

Peridot tapped her visor, zooming in to see the dark metal door perched within the rock. It looked rusted, ancient. A swell of pride filled her core as she consulted her map, matched the location. “Garnet! Bismuuuuth! We found it!”

“I mean, I found it,” Lapis said, elbowing Peridot’s shoulder.

Peridot huffed and amended, loudly, “Lapis found it!”

Lazuli laughed, which only made Peridot grin wider. She spread her water wings and said, “Care for a closer look?” And this time, when she offered her hand, Peridot took it.

With Garnet and Bismuth watching, they surged upwards, straight to the Jeweler’s base.

Chapter Text

“—has a fever now—”

“Then we need to lower it somehow! We have to do—”

“—nothing, Steven. She keeps bleeding—”

“—care about that! We have to fix her—”

“How?!”

Pearl spun, desperate to locate the voices. They’d just started a few minutes ago, floating like crisp leaves on a chilly afternoon, landing at her feet, vanishing the moment she tried to grab them.

Amethyst. Connie.

Steven.

But where were they? Where was she?

She knew her gem, and this wasn’t it. No, her gem took the form of a clean, white room, where long wardrobes swept past at dizzying speeds, where Pearl had utter control, where she could relax and choose a new outfit and tweak her appearance as desired. And throughout the process, the exit loomed, a glowing doorway to step through when her regeneration was complete.

This wasn’t that. This was inky black, as far as she could see, echoing and empty and cold, just like the night the restabilizer was outfitted. Except now, instead of crippling pain and a sinister voice, the panic of her friends and family swept through her mind.

She didn’t know which was worse.

“—another seizure, it could really damage—”

Connie. Her words slipped past Pearl’s ear, making her spin, goosebumps pebbling her arms. They were still talking about Pearl, still panicking, and she didn’t know how to stop it. Connie was trying to be strong, but Pearl had trained her long enough to hear the trembling of her voice.

Amethyst replied: “—do you want to do, Steven?”

Steven. Stars, Pearl missed him. It wasn’t fair that little boy was dealing with this. Where was Garnet?

“I don’t know, okay!? I just don’t—”

Steven was crying.

No. Pearl’s core clenched, and she focused on that thought in particular. It drifted a foot away, twirling and silent, and she lunged for it. But the second her fingers closed around the tiny black leaf, it crumpled to dust and slipped through her fingers. Like sand in a sieve.

Like sanity in her mind.

Fractured.

Gone.

Pearl screamed. It was more animalistic than anything, and it shook her to her core, but she couldn’t stop. Tears streamed down her face as she fell to her knees, gripping her head, her gem and that—that thing on it.

“Stop. Stop it,” she howled, eyes wide, hands trembling. “I’m right here! Steven! I’m right here.”

For a moment, their discussion stopped.

Pearl nearly laughed in relief.

And then pain blossomed on her chest, her arm, and Pearl looked down to see that blue liquid seeping into her tunic. It bloomed like a summer flower, cold and wet, right where Rose’s sword had connected.

Right where she’d stabbed herself.

Stars, how had she forgotten she’d stabbed herself?

Pearl began to shake, a body-wracking shudder that nearly undid her. It—it had seemed like such a good idea. Her addled mind told her it was the last resort, the only option left. But it hadn’t poofed her when she sliced her arm, and the pain had been unbearable. In a last-ditch effort to finish what she started, she turned the blade on her chest.

A hit to the chest would have to poof her.

Except clearly it didn’t. Because she wasn’t in that white room, perusing an entire empire’s worth of outfits. She wasn’t staring at a mannequin of herself, scrutinizing the way her hair turned, the color of her socks, the meld of her shoes.

No, she was in pitch black, alone.

And her friends were out there, hovering over a body that apparently still existed and was bleeding, bleeding like a human bled, and Steven was crying and that was Pearl’s fault, all Pearl’s fault, everything was her stars-damned fault—

Her mind shattered.

It happened violently. The blackness around her burst into shards, massive and sharp and collapsing like a house might collapse in a hurricane. Pearl barely had time to scramble left, then right, but it wasn’t enough. A shard sliced right through her, and she vanished.

.

.

.

Oblivion.

Bismuth gripped the rocky overhang and heaved herself onto the thin platform. “Whoo,” she exhaled, chest heaving as she glanced at the ground. Vertigo had her swaying, and she pressed against the cliff’s face. “Bit of a fall, huh? Better—better watch ourselves.”

“Aren’t you a Bismuth?” Lapis drawled. “You were crafted to build spires.”

“Yeah, but no one said that I was crafted to enjoy heights,” Bismuth muttered, turning her gaze to the sky instead. Beside her, Garnet put a hand on her shoulder, nudging her into a deeper crevice of the overhang, which made Bismuth feel a little better. She smiled, and Garnet flashed a thumbs-up.

Lapis rolled her eyes and turned back to Peridot. The green Gem was crouched beside a thick metal door, muttering to herself as her floating metal fingers tapped and scratched at the entrance. It would have looked comical, if there wasn’t so much riding on this.

Bismuth pressed her mouth into a firm line. She’d been trying so hard to make a good impression. To assure Steven he hadn’t made a mistake in unbubbling her the second time. Garnet may be leading the group now, but Rose Quartz’s gem held weight, and Steven’s voice might be more motivating than the mighty rebellion leader herself.

But it was more than just impressing Steven and finding her place again. Bismuth wanted her friends back. Stars knew most of them were gone, corrupted or shattered. She couldn’t lose the few she had left.

And she absolutely couldn’t lose Pearl.

Bismuth clenched her eyes shut. To anyone else, it’d look like she was avoiding the heights. But a kaleidoscope of horror flashed through her mind, and she forced herself to pay attention.

To Pearl, groaning awake on Steven’s bed.

Pearl, relaxing when she realized Bismuth meant no harm.

Pearl, smiling about the old days.

Pearl… handing Rose’s sword to Bismuth like it was the key to the universe.

Bismuth opened her eyes before she could see what came next. The fight. The blood. They’d left in such a hurry, desperate to find more information about the Jewelers. But Pearl hadn’t been stable even then. Maybe she shattered already.

And if she didn’t, how much more of that could she take?

Bismuth grinded her teeth and said, “Come on, little gem. What’s taking so long?”

“This is a delicate operation,” Peridot snapped, even as her metal fingers all-but clawed the face of the door.

Garnet summoned her gauntlets, cracking her knuckles as she picked Peridot up by the shoulders and deposited her beside Lapis. “Pearl doesn’t have time for delicate,” she said simply, and slammed her fist into the door. The ancient metal crunched under the force of the punch, but Garnet just repeated the motion.

Over and over and over again, until the clangs had deafened them all, until Bismuth closed her eyes against the shards of metal splintering away, until Lapis shouted to stop and the dust cleared to reveal a caved-in entrance.

Not subtle, but definitely effective.

Garnet’s chest heaved as she whipped her gauntlets away. She stared at the dark cave beyond, visor glinting silver. Peridot gaped. Lapis frowned.

Bismuth just cleared her throat and said, “Feel better?”

She was going for humor, even though it was the last thing she felt. But that was her thing. Always the lighthearted one, the astute one, the realist with a hint of optimism. Even if her core was screaming about Pearl’s actions, and Bismuth’s direct role in it, she forced a smile like nothing was wrong.

“Not really,” Garnet replied, but she shot Bismuth a grateful glance before stepping through the wreckage.

Peridot jogged forward, her metal feet clanking incessantly. Bismuth didn’t quite understand the need for limb enhancers, not when a Gem could just shapeshift into something useful. But she couldn’t deny they’d been useful. Even now, as Garnet snapped her gems’ light on, shining Ruby and Sapphire’s stones into the dark recesses of the cave, Peridot’s fingers arranged into that screen, and a map appeared.

A map of the Jeweler base.

Useful little Gem, wasn’t she?

“Okay. The tunnel goes deep underground now. We should be expecting traps along the way, somewhere in the—don’t step there!”

Bismuth froze, one massive foot hovering above the ground. “Ah, what?”

“What part of traps didn’t you understand?” Peridot huffed, activating her own gem’s light as she knelt beside Bismuth, using one metallic finger to slice the thin wire under her feet. Inches from Bismuth’s face, a scythe swung from the ceiling, sending a gust of wind at them before burying into the stone wall.

Peridot smirked, self-satisfied, and patted Bismuth’s arm. “Just listen to my orders. I’m the smartest one here.”

“Peridot,” Garnet said.

The green Gem wrinkled her nose and said, “Don’t hate me because it’s true.” But with a huff, she started forward, disarming traps as they happened on them. Lapis followed close behind, gripping her arms as they got further and further into the cave. She didn’t seem very comfortable—not that Bismuth could blame her, a Gem of water and air.

Bismuth, however, felt right at home. She stretched her arms out, running her hands along the smooth finish of the tunnel. “They had a professional designing this place.”

“Indeed. Another Bismuth. Facet 43, cut 18B,” Peridot called over her shoulder.

“Oh, that old coot?”

“You knew her?” Garnet’s expression was impassive, but her tone was almost amused.

Bismuth laughed. “Nope.”

Another moment went by, and then Peridot laughed out loud. “She’s so funny,” she said to Lapis, as if it were some kind of secret.

Bismuth had to admit, she liked that little green Gem. The Lapis Lazuli seemed to regard her with caution, almost distaste, but Peridot… well, they spoke the same language. Bismuth thought again to the other Gem that laughed at her jokes, the Gem currently incapacitated and covered in blood.

She shivered, withdrawing her arms. Suddenly, this tunnel didn’t seem so nice.

After a few minutes of walking down, down, down, they finally arrived at another door. Garnet summoned her gauntlet and stepped forward, but Peridot held up her hands. “Wait! How about I handle this? If you try that move again, you’ll alert everyone.”

“They probably already know we’re here,” Lapis said. “Let’s just finish what we started and go.”

“What if they hear us and begin destroying evidence? Are you willing to take that risk?” Peridot directed the question at Garnet.

Garnet, who sighed and reclaimed her gauntlet. “Okay, Peridot. You have five minutes.”

“Wow. Thanks,” Peridot muttered, and knelt again by the door. This time, though, her fingers flew in a calculated manner, feeling the edges and cracks of the metal against stone. After a long moment, six of them pressed into six holes Bismuth had barely noticed.

A soft click sounded, and the door slid open. A vast hallway split in two directions before them, but this wasn’t like the tunnel they’d just traversed. This was smooth and gilded, lined with murals of the glory of Homeworld, almost as if they’d expected the presence of a Diamond at some point.

Maybe they did.

“Designed for limb enhancers, then,” Peridot said, smugly.

Lapis rolled her eyes, but a fond smile tilted her lips nonetheless. She and Peridot stepped through the doorway, and immediately froze when a white light flashed down on the two of them. Peridot squeaked, and Lapis tensed.

Bismuth’s core surged into her throat, and her hand transformed into a hammer. “Don’t move! I’ll—” but just as suddenly as the light appeared, it vanished. A chittering sound echoed down the hall, and Bismuth caught just a glimpse of a tiny silver droid before it vanished into a bed of rock.

“It scanned us,” Peridot said, indignant now. “Why, I oughta—”

“There’s no time,” Garnet replied, already striding inside. “They know we’re here. Split up. Let’s find what we came for.”

Lapis put a hand on Peridot’s shoulder and whispered, “Are you okay?”

Peridot waved her off, huffed something about rogue droids, then turned to Garnet. “If we’re splitting up, we should use these.” She plucked something thin and round from a pocket in her metal leg, tossing it to Garnet.

The fusion caught it instantly, examining it.

“It’s a communicator. Like a primitive radio. It’ll work through all this rock,” Peridot jerked a thumb at the tunnel around them. “The kindergarteners use it to confer when we’re examining exit holes.”

“Perfect,” Garnet said, and pocketed the device. “Let’s go.”

Lapis and Peridot broke off into the left hallway, and Garnet and Bismuth stepped down the right. Garnet stared straight ahead, undoubtedly seeing all the ways this could go wrong. The rigid lines of her shoulders were visible even in the dim light of their gems.

But it wasn’t what lied ahead that caught Bismuth’s gaze. No, it was the murals on the walls. Hundreds of them, stretching twice her height and leading them further into Homeworld territory.

White Diamond, crafting Blue and Yellow.

The Diamond Authority, securing their first planets.

The armies that arose from those conquests.

The spread of Gems across the galaxy, like a virus, destroying everything in their path. Paving the way for a grander future, one where Gems ruled and everything else was erased.

Bismuth used to think it was so great, just the natural order of things. If Pearl hadn’t questioned her that day at the sea spire, asked what she really wanted out of life, would Bismuth still be trundling along, doing some Diamond’s bidding?

Yes. Resoundingly. Pearl had changed everything.

Bismuth gritted her teeth and caught up to Garnet. “You see anything?”

“Lots of things. Just none of it here,” Garnet said, and the frustration was evident in her voice. “I don’t understand how that Jeweler managed this. It’s like she took a veil over everything she touched, and I can’t see the past, present, or future of it.”

“Guess we’re doing this the old fashioned way, then,” Bismuth remarked, and stopped at a closed door. She formed a hammer and smashed it in one fell swoop, then sighed. “You’re not the only one who needed that.”

Garnet frowned, removing her visor with a flick of her fingers. “With Pearl and Rose’s sword—that wasn’t your fault. Tell me you understand that.”

Bismuth hunched her shoulders, moving away from Garnet, away from the confrontation, into the new room she’d found. It was clearly some kind of library, with data pads and computers lining every wall. Two chairs sat empty against the back wall, turned out as if someone had left in a hurry. Overall, the room was big and impressive, but not what they needed.

She turned to leave, and nearly ran head-long into Garnet. The fusion crossed her arms and said, “You kept us together when we were falling apart. Now I need to make sure you’re okay.”

“How can I be okay?” Bismuth snapped, but it lacked the bite of real anger. She laughed, hollowly, and scrubbed her face with a hand. “Stars, Garnet, how can anyone be okay after that? Pearl’s my best friend. S-She was counting on me. Everyone was. And I just—left.”

“Pearl was not in her right mind,” Garnet said, taking Bismuth’s shoulders. Her eyes peered into Bismuth’s, as if seeing straight to the core of her gem. “And if Steven had gotten hurt during that attack, Pearl would never have forgiven you. You did the right thing, Bismuth.”

“Doesn’t feel like it,” she whispered, her arms dropping to her sides.

“You did. Pearl loves you. I’m sure you can imagine what she’d say if she heard you right now.”

Bismuth cracked a half-smile. “She’d kick my ass six ways to the sun.”

“Don’t forget it,” Garnet winked.

“Okay. Okay,” Bismuth put a hand over Garnet’s, squeezed, and stepped around her. “We’ve got work to do. For Pearl.”

“For Pearl.”

They moved quickly after that. But the Jeweler’s base was huge, considering it had been built for three Homeworld Gems. There were guard outposts, laboratories, prison cells, libraries, bedrooms… everything for a massive clandestine operation.

And yet, nothing of use. Thick layers of dust covered anywhere air still circulated, and several sealed areas whooshed as oxygen rushed back inside after breaking down the doors. Garnet grew increasingly more annoyed, more desperate, but it didn’t produce results.

Maybe nothing ever would.

Well, nothing until the final laboratory they entered.

Garnet scanned the area and growled, clenching her fists as if she was ready to demolish the place. “Another dead end.”

But Bismuth’s eyes settled on a series of potted plants, way back in the corner, under a flickering white light. She frowned, shining her gem’s rainbow light onto the pots. And she grinned. “Don’t speak so soon. I’ve seen that flower before.”

Garnet inhaled sharply, then produced the communicator Peridot had offered. She tapped it once, and Peridot appeared. “We’ve found something,” she said, shortly.

Bismuth stepped closer to the flowers, examining them with mild interest. They weren’t her area of expertise, certainly, but something told her Steven and Connie might want to see them.

There were five plants overall, each well-grown into their respective pots. Like they’d been down here a while. Several petals were missing from the left-most flower, and Bismuth scanned left to see them mushed in a tiny glass vial. She plucked it from the table and pocketed it, just in case.

“They’re on their way,” Garnet said, and stowed the communicator. “Find anything?”

“Maybe,” Bismuth replied, turning her gaze again to the pot. To the soil. Because as she shone the rainbow light from her chest on it, it seemed to… sparkle. And maybe it was her gem’s light, but the soil looked blue. “Hey. This look weird to you?”

Garnet leaned closer, frowning. “It’s almost like…” she trailed off, running her fingers into the soil of one of the pots. Suddenly, she stiffened, gasped, and staggered backwards. Bismuth whirled to face her, but Garnet’s visor had vanished and her three eyes were wide and horrified.

“It’s—it’s sapphires. Ground dust of Sapphires.”

Mixed in the soil of these weird, blue flowers. Azaleas, Connie had called them. But—they weren’t supposed to exist in this color.

Maybe they didn’t exist in this color. Unless—

“Stars,” Bismuth breathed.

Garnet looked sick. “That’s why I couldn’t see anything. They used other Sapphires to shield themselves from my view.”

A voice laughed behind them, high-pitched and bright. They spun to see a dark figure standing in the doorway, thin and tall, built almost like a pearl. But her voice was the exact opposite.

“To be fair,” the foreign Gem said cheerily, “who do you think gave Sapphires that ability in the first place?”

Then, with another laugh, she tapped a button on her arm’s limb enhancers, and a thick metal wall slammed over the doorway, leaving her outside and them inside.  

Trapped.

Chapter Text

“—was too much, it would seem,” a voice said, unimpressed.

Pearl groaned. Awareness returned in increments. The hard, smooth ground under her arms and legs, like she was lying on a sheet of glass. The brightness of the room through her eyelids, so similar to the inside of her pearl, and yet so, so different. The white-hot bands around her wrists, binding her like a prisoner in her own mind.

And finally, the thin, scalding wire around her gem, which seemed the heaviest of all.

“Well, it was a good experiment, right?” a second voice, higher-pitched, added hopefully.

The first voice hummed. “I suppose. We can always poof her and try again.”

Try again?

The restabilizer. They were talking about Pearl. But—there was no way Steven and Amethyst would let her be taken by these… terrorists. So if her physical body was still at the house, where was her mind?

She pried her eyes open. It took several moments, and the paralyzing burns of the shackles around her wrists and her pearl nearly blinded her. But finally, the light faded to reveal a white room.

She’d been wrong: it wasn’t “similar” to the inside of her gem. It was her gem. The white room, the clean air, and beyond the two shadowy figures, an entire wall of alphabetically sorted items she’d been collecting for centuries.

She was on the first level of her subconscious.

And so were the two intruders. It shouldn’t be possible… and yet here they were. Her Other Pearl, the one inside her gem, didn’t seem to be present, either. Maybe they couldn’t both exist here at the same time.

No one should exist here, not like this.

“H-How—” Pearl tried to ask, but it came out as a groan instead.

One of the intruders stepped closer, and Pearl tilted her head against the floor, squinting past her hazy vision. A Gem… they were both Gems. But in the dark recesses of Pearl’s memories, a name sprang to the forefront. Tephroite. One of the Diamond’s Jewelers.

Pink Diamond refused to employ them. She wouldn’t tell Pearl what she’d seen Blue and Yellow’s Jewelers do, but she was shaken when she’d returned from that particular meeting. Pearl still remembered when she scowled and said: “The ends don’t always justify the means.”

The Tephroite came into focus slowly, like a camera lens adjusting. She was built like Peridot, almost, with a shorter body, triangle shoulders, and limb enhancers to make her seem more intimidating. Her skin was dull green. Her gem—a vitreous brown stone speckled with white—was nestled in her left shoulder, above where a human heart would be.

Ironic, considering the heartless expression she leveled at Pearl now.

“Awake, are you? Good. We were concerned your physical damage destroyed your mind as well.”

Pearl flinched. The Tephroite used the word “concerned,” but nothing in her deep tone or blasé appearance implied that was true. No, she spoke like Pearl wasn’t a person, wasn’t a Gem. Like the only part of her that mattered was the way she responded to this experiment.  

The restabilizer.

Fury bristled in Pearl’s core then, a familiar fire that hadn’t been stoked in ages. How dare she? How dare this new Gem just stroll into Pearl’s life, poof her, outfit her with this… thing… and observe from a distance like she was some kind of animal?

She wasn’t an animal. She wasn’t human either, much as this restabilizer tried to make her one. Pearl was a Crystal Gem, and she wouldn’t stand for this.

“Ah, her light is fluctuating,” the second figure, the one with the higher-pitched voice, said. Pearl tried to push to her hands and knees, but with the shackles binding her, it felt impossible. She strained anyway, even as interest piqued in the second Gem’s tone. “Perhaps she’s recovered from her wounds?”

“Impossible,” the Tephroite said, kneeling to Pearl’s level. She assessed Pearl, tilting her head. Her eyes were an eerie neon orange, glowing almost fluorescent.

“I’ll show you what’s impossible,” Pearl tried to hiss, but her words were quiet, laced with exhaustion and weakness.

Anger bristled again in her core. How dare they make her into this?

The Tephroite smirked. “Ah, there. There’s that fight. I knew she would be a good candidate.” She patted Pearl’s cheek, pushed upright, and collected what looked like a data pad from the other Gem.

Pearl shifted her gaze to the Tephroite’s companion. A Fayalite. She’d seen them strolling through Yellow’s court. They were taller, thinner, almost pearl-like in build. But that was where the similarities stopped. This Fayalite had light brown skin, and her appearance modifier was utilitarian at best: pockets lined her legs, and her arms were outfitted with limb enhancers.

The Fayalite’s gem was embedded in her skull, identical to Peridot’s location—Pearl’s location—, and was square in shape. She didn’t have a visor, although her bright, cheery gaze was nothing short of unsettling.

She beamed at Pearl. “You were right, Tephroite. You’re always right! But I’m worried the pearl is becoming unstable now. Perhaps we should—”

“You don’t give the orders,” Tephroite snapped.

The Fayalite clamped her mouth shut.

Tephroite returned her gaze to the data screen, and for a long moment, there was silence. Fayalite frowned, but didn’t say another word.

Pearl, meanwhile, was formulating a plan. They wanted a fight? They’d get one. Her items were mere paces behind them, with the Ts on full display. She could swipe back one letter, find S, and grab a pair of swords before they could react.

They weren’t really in her gem. She knew that. No one could come inside a gem unless invited. But Jewelers were crafty, and these two had clearly been preparing for the use of the restabilizer. It probably gave them a back door.

She wondered how far down she could bury them.

Suddenly, a flash of movement caught her eye. There, crouched behind a rudimentary table from the Bronze Age, was the Other Pearl. The Pearl inside Pearl’s pearl, that was.

Their gazes locked.

One sentence passed between them.

Find a sword.

Other Pearl, hiding behind the vast all of items, ran, vanishing past a white wall to the rest of Pearl’s things. Off towards the S’s, off to find a weapon suitable to destroying the intruders.

Smug satisfaction spread through Pearl’s core. She was bound, beaten, nearly shattered. But she could still fight. This, she could fight.

Now she just had to get rid of these shackles.

“Hmm,” the Tephroite said, glancing again at Pearl. She stiffened under the intruder’s gaze, but the Tephroite just scowled and glanced back at her screen. “She’s in excruciating pain, so that’s functioning properly. But the glitching wasn’t supposed to happen so soon. It barely took hours, not weeks.”

Weeks of this? Pearl shuddered.

The Fayalite turned a contemplative gaze on their prisoner. “Well, pearls are notoriously fragile. As I said before, even the renegade wasn’t a prime candidate for this experiment.”

“And as I said before,” Tephroite snarled past gritted teeth, “that was never up to you.”

But the Fayalite seemed annoyed now. She rolled her eyes. “Begging your pardon, ma’am, but if our Diamond knew the resources you poured into this pet project… well. She’d expect far more than you seem able to deliver.” She strolled around Tephroite to smirk at Pearl. “In fact, I’d go so far as to say you’ve failed.”

Tephroite growled, jamming her thumb into the data pad. The heat on Pearl’s shackles increased exponentially, hotter than Pearl thought anything could be.  

She shuddered in violent waves, arching her back against the heat on her wrists, the stabbing pain around her gem. It took everything to hear the conversation at hand, everything not to shatter again. A scream wrenched from her lips before she could stop it.

Tephroite tossed the data pad on the floor and turned to her companion. Her words were cruel, crisp. “This project is essential to the Diamond Authority.”

“And yet, it won’t bring back Forsterite,” Fayalite hissed.

That voice. Pearl’s hazy mind placed it: the sinister Gem hissing at her to reform, reform, even before she had time to gather her bearings. The pain was so intense now that Pearl could only curl into herself, but that voice still pierced through her mind.

They were behind it all. Rogue Gems living on Earth, plotting against them this entire time. All these millennia, and they’d been hunting corrupted gems, never once thinking fully-formed Homeworld Jewelers survived the war.

How blind they’d been.

“What did you say?” Tephroite turned to Fayalite, voice like ice.

But Fayalite’s cheery demeanor was gone now, vanished in a snap. Her eyes narrowed. “I said, Forsterite is gone.”

Tephroite slapped her.

Hard enough the sound echoed through Pearl’s headspace, hard enough the Fayalite crashed to the ground, clutching her cheek.

But then, she started to laugh. She laughed as she picked herself up, dusted her arm enhancers, polished her gem with the flick of a finger. She laughed as she stared down Tephroite, and Pearl wondered who was really superior here.

“I entertained you for five thousand years, and you failed. You can’t deny it, Tephroite,” Fayalite said, almost hissed, and again Pearl shuddered. The shackles felt heavier than ever, even as movement caught Pearl’s eye. The Other Pearl, back with two swords, waiting for the cue.

Waiting to fight.

Other Pearl pointed with one long blade, and Pearl’s watery vision followed the trail. Right to the disposed data pad, sitting abandoned just inches from her bound hands.

The shackles and restabilizer were boiling skin she shouldn’t have, glitching her fractured mind, destroying the life she’d fought so hard to earn. But they made one mistake. They should have poofed her when they had the chance.

Pearl gritted her teeth, forced herself to focus on this one last thing.

Fayalite didn’t notice. She was too busy gloating, wearing a smug smirk. “This experiment’s over. Physical pain isn’t enough.”

“Her mind has almost fractured. The humans proved it; pain is torture. Look at this pearl! The renegade, so fierce during the war, reduced to a blubbering mess.” Tephroite scoffed at Pearl, writhing against the cold, glassy floor. “Pathetic.”

Pearl’s hand, underneath her convulsing torso, wrapped around the data pad.

“One broken pearl isn’t going to destroy the mind of Rose Quartz. You’re foolish to think it will. It’s time I take over this experiment,” Fayalite said, and with a wave of her hand, she vanished.

Tephroite cursed, spinning around the white space. “Stars damn it all. I’m going to shatter her for her insolence.” She waved a hand in the same manner, but nothing happened. For the first time, raw panic crossed her features. “No. N-No. What did she do?”

Pearl pressed the data pad with two fingers, and the burning shackles vanished. The pain lingered, but she’d been handling pain this entire time. She set her jaw and thought of Steven, of Amethyst and Garnet, of Bismuth and Peridot and Lapis. Her friends and family, waiting for her. Expecting her to recover. Terrified when she didn’t.

Well, she wouldn’t be down and out for long. Not against Gems like these.

“Now,” Pearl shouted, and the Other Pearl dashed out from behind the items, tossing her a sword. Pearl caught it with a wince, and it nearly slipped from her scalded hands, her aching wrists. But she gritted her teeth and held on, even as that blue “blood” oozed between her fingers, dripping to the clean white floor.

Tephroite froze, eyes widening.

“Y-You can’t stop me—” she stammered, but Pearl screamed and Other Pearl yelled and they lunged simultaneously and the Tephroite vanished in a poof of smoke.

She didn’t leave a gem.

Other Pearl stood impassively, staring at the spot their enemy had been.

Pearl, on the other hand, dropped the sword, collapsing onto her hands and knees. She coughed, and specks of blue flecked the white floor. Her fight left in a wave of exhaustion, crippling, and she clenched her hands into fists.

“That’s—the best I can do,” she whispered.

Other Pearl tilted her head. “No, it’s not. You have to hold on a little longer.”

Silently, Other Pearl projected a hologram into the room. A live feed of events in the real world, from the viewpoint of her pearl. The image shook nauseatingly—whoever had her, they were running somewhere, sprinting. For a moment, Pearl was certain it was the Fayalite, and they had stolen her physical body.

But then the image flashed upwards, briefly, to reveal Amethyst’s determined face, carrying Pearl as she ran alongside Steven and Connie through what had to be the Prime Kindergarten. The audio came through broken and fractured, but Amethyst’s words were impossible to miss.

“—enough time to save them and Pearl?”

“We have to. I’m not losing my family today,” came Steven’s determined reply. The hologram vanished, but the situation was clear. They were in danger. 

Other Pearl offered a hand.

Gritting her teeth, Pearl took it. She wasn’t done yet.

Chapter Text

It was snowing when Pearl groaned awake.

Stars, she was really starting to hate snow. The chill seeped into her skin, barely saved by the thin sweatshirt someone—Steven?—had tugged over her torso. Her wounds ached, but if the Jewelers had wanted her dead, they’d have shattered her outright. Now that she knew this was an experiment in pain, the bleeding stab wounds, the burns, the bruises… it all seemed superficial.

Of course, the pain wasn’t. As much as her earlier wounds had dulled, the restabilizer was alive and well, white-hot against her skull. And despite how carefully Amethyst was carrying her through the canyon of the Prime Kindergarten, how her grip on Pearl’s arms was feather-light and shifted with her movements, it didn’t stop every step from rattling Pearl’s brain and spurning a spiking headache all the way to her toes.

And still, Pearl forced her eyes open. Forced her fingers to curl around Amethyst’s arms, forced her mind to center enough to say, “Amethyst, p-put me down.”

“Pearl!” the younger Gem skidded to a stop, and instantly Steven and Connie appeared in her bleary vision. Amethyst blinked back tears and said, “What the stars were you thinking? News flash: stabbing yourself is a bad idea!”

Pearl flinched. Finding the words was like wading through mud, but she knew this was important. With everyone staring, though, even the most basic apology seemed meaningless.

She tried anyway. “I’m—sorry,” she managed to say, bringing a hand to her head. Her fingers skirted the space around the restabilizer, and another surge of desperation hit. She just wanted to touch her gem again. To hold her spear in her hands. To feel strong and confident, the Gem that stood at the right hand of Rose Quartz.

But she had the facts now, and her mind centered before her form could glitch again. She would not give those Jewelers the satisfaction. She would not be a successful experiment.

She was the Renegade Pearl, and by the stars, she was anything but fragile.

“Please put me down,” she said again, and this time, iron laced her words.

“Ah, P? Not a great idea. You’re still oozing—” Amethyst shuddered, tightening her grip.

Pearl pressed her lips together. “It’s fine. It’s not real.”

“Felt pretty real to me,” Connie mumbled, eyes drifting to her pants. Even from this angle, the blue crusting on her pants was impossible to miss.

A spike of guilt pierced Pearl’s core, and she clenched her eyes shut. “Oh, Connie. I’m—I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—I wasn’t thinking—”

“I know,” she said quickly. A ghost of a smile traced her lips. “I’m just glad you’re awake now. But… maybe Amethyst is right.”

“First time for everything,” Amethyst joked, but it sounded strained. She didn’t release her grip on Pearl’s thin frame. She’d shapeshifted, Pearl noted distantly, into her wrestler form. Undoubtedly easier to carry her.

Which was just silly. Carrying someone into battle spelled disaster for both parties. Pearl squeezed her arm and squirmed against her. “I’m fine. But the Jewelers—”

“She has Garnet and Bismuth,” Steven blurted.

Pearl froze.

Amethyst winced. “Dude. Thought we said we wouldn’t trouble her with that.”

“She should know. It’s her family too.”

Pearl’s core twisted. No. Garnet knew the risks, accepted this as a mission, a responsibility—but Bismuth? The Crystal Gems had ignored the blacksmith until it was inconvenient not to, then slammed her into a fight that shouldn’t be her problem.

And now those stars-damned Jewelers had her too. What would they do with two prime candidates for a secondary experiment? More restabilizers? A test on how it reacted to fusion, maybe?

And all Pearl could think about was the tears in Bismuth’s eyes, the way she whispered, “I’m not gonna poof you,” in that trembling voice.

They didn’t deserve this.

And so, in her mind, she compartmentalized the pain. It was agonizing, but she pictured a bubble—like Steven’s bubble, pink and protective and safe—around herself. The pain, a black and ugly thing, roared and beat on the spherical shield, but it couldn’t get through. Inside that bubble, she could think.

She could act.

So when she said, “Amethyst,” her voice didn’t waver. And when her fellow Crystal Gem huffed and carefully placed her feet on the ground, Pearl didn’t stumble. 

She stood tall.

“We have to go,” she said, sternly. “Connie. I’ll take that sword.”

“Ah, that’d be a big, fat no,” Amethyst said, slipping out of her wrestling form in a flash of light. She crossed her arms, annoyed. “Is there a running list of Bad Ideas inside that thing? Because you being armed right now is definitely one of them.”

Beside Steven, Connie fidgeted, running her fingers over her blood-crusted pants. The sword, bright pink and huge, seemed out of place on her back. The size of it aside—it really was too big for a child of her stature—it was the blue that stained its sheath, the way she seemed hesitant to grab it, that drove the fact home for Pearl.

Connie had never experienced a real battle. She may be the daughter of a doctor, but seeing someone stabbed, bleeding from a violent act, was different. Pearl had left Connie… well, all of them… with an image they wouldn’t soon forget.

And now she had to make that right.

She smiled and said gently, “Connie. Please.”

Connie searched her eyes. “Promise you’re okay?”

“I’m okay,” Pearl lied.

Another moment passed, and then Connie swallowed hard and pulled the sheath over her head. By the stars, Pearl loved that girl. And she’d protect her, even into shattering. Determination settled in her core as she took the weapon, much to Amethyst and Steven’s outrage.

“Connie!”

“P. Gimme the sword.”

“Amethyst, we don’t have time for this,” Pearl snapped, spinning on the younger Gem. She gripped the sword too tightly, her bandaged fingers aching. But no, that was pain, and she wasn’t allowed to feel that yet.

Amethyst raised her voice. “We always have time to talk about how stupid you’re being! Are you trying to get killed faster?”

“No, I’m trying to fix this,” Pearl screamed.

Silence.

Pearl clenched her eyes shut and whispered, “Please. Let me fix this. It’s all my fault.”

Amethyst dropped her gaze. “Aww. Come on, P. It’s not your fault.”

“It is,” Pearl clenched her hair, staring at the snow-darkened sky. “None of this would have happened if I’d paid more attention to my surroundings. If I’d seen the Jewelers coming. I just—” she drew a breath. “I can’t remove the restabilizer. But at least I can fight for my family.”

Amethyst frowned. “Look, I get that. Feeling worthless. Trust me, I get it. But getting yourself killed won’t do your family any favors.”

Pearl’s core clenched. Feeling worthless. Yes, that was exactly right. But before she could reply, Steven stepped in.

“If—If Pearl says she can help, I think we should let her.”

“What?” Amethyst demanded.

“She’s a good fighter,” Steven said, defensively. “And… she cares about Garnet and Bismuth too. And look. She’s standing. Maybe she’s finally healing.”

Pearl didn’t correct him. Instead, she tried to hide how she leaned heavily against the sword, already relying on it for balance. How her wounds had never closed, how hot, wet blood was seeping out of a hole in her stomach, masked by the sweatshirt. How the restabilizer was scorching her gem, how the malignant cloud of pain was beating against her protective pink bubble like a creature possessed. 

She hid it all. When Amethyst glanced at her, brows knitted in concern, Pearl just smirked and said, “Oh, Amethyst, how sweet of you to care.”

Because sarcasm was what the younger Gem wanted to hear. Sarcasm meant everything was okay. Sarcasm was normal.

And sure enough, Amethyst huffed and mumbled, “I don’t care. Whatever.”

“Come on. Steven, I assume you have the coordinates?” Pearl said, easily assuming control. When Garnet was gone, Pearl was in charge. She could do this.

“Y-Yeah,” Steven said, fishing for his cell phone. “Peridot texted me. She and Lapis are inside, but Garnet and Bismuth aren’t where they said they were. I think the Jeweler moved them.”

“Then we’re running out of time,” Pearl said, and they once again began hiking through the Kindergarten.

Almost instantly, Pearl regretted putting on such a face for Amethyst. Because almost instantly, fatigue set in, core-weary exhaustion that made it tough to walk, tough to focus, tough to smile. She tried keeping her mind busy, strategizing and formulating battle tactics and readjusting to the weight of Rose’s sword.

But it was like one of Steven’s band-aids, just covering the real problem.

Still, she forced herself to stay at the front of the group, to lead them out of the Prime Kindergarten’s canyon, to stop at the grassy field where Rose had once gaped at the majesty of Earth and whispered, “Isn’t it beautiful?”

Pearl stopped there now, breath catching, core aching for a different reason. For the first time in fourteen years, she was grateful Rose wasn’t here to see her now. A defective pearl, indeed, barely a shadow of the light she should be.

Rose would be beside herself.

Pearl gripped the sword and tried to ignore Steven’s prying gaze. Her voice didn’t waver as she said, “Where’s the base?”

“Up here, my darlings,” a high-pitched voice crooned, and Pearl swore her “blood” ran cold.

Her.

They spun, but Fayalite was already leaping from the cave’s entrance. She raised her arms above her head, and a parachute ballooned from her limb enhancers, easing her to the ground. It sucked back inside with a flick of her wrist the second her toes touched the dirt.

“Uh—” Amethyst hesitated, glancing at Pearl.

Pearl, who couldn’t move.

Couldn’t think.

Couldn’t breathe.

Petrified. Like every inch of her had frozen, seeing her torturer face to face. Rose’s sword was dead weight in her hand. Move, her mind urged, but the pain was cracking her pink bubble, fracturing her defenses, promising sheer agony if she resisted.

Fayalite smirked.

Pearl crashed to her knees.

“No,” Connie gasped, falling to her side. Pearl was vaguely aware of the girl’s hands on her shoulders, of Amethyst retrieving her whip, of Steven stepping closer, hands sweeping outward to cover them all in a protective bubble.

But none of that would help Pearl.

Fayalite, on the other hand, regarded the bubble with interest. “Oh. A spherical physicality ward. That’s interesting.” She squinted at Steven, tilting her head. “What kind of Gem are you?”

“None of your beeswax,” Steven said.

Fight, Pearl shouted at herself. Get up and fight! She has Garnet. She has Bismuth! What if she gets Steven now, too?

Terror seeped into Pearl’s mind, and the cracks along her internal bubble fractured all the way down. The dark cloud beating against it, the unrelenting pain, howled in excitement and doubled down on its efforts. Trembling, she stared directly into Fayalite’s dark gaze.

Frozen.

Awaiting judgement.  

“It’s fine. I have a hunch,” Fayalite said, strolling right up to them to run a finger along the exterior of the bubble. She examined it like she was inspecting for dust, then moseyed around the circular exterior to peer at Pearl. “So you escaped your own mind. Pretty impressive, Pearl.”

“Leave her alone,” Steven yelled, and the bubble spiked violently outwards.

Fayalite stumbled backwards, eyes widening. For a moment, her hold was broken, and Pearl almost managed to move. But then that smirk settled back over her lips, and she tsked, recapturing Pearl’s gaze. “Your experiment may have been a failure, but I can learn from that. Anywhoozies,” her higher pitch was back, bright and cheery, “as delightful as this has been, I’ve gotta dash.”

“Steven,” Amethyst snarled, and he immediately lowered the bubble. She lashed out faster than Pearl could track, whip whistling, but Fayalite was ready. Her limb enhancers discharged in a burst of energy, knocking the whip aside.

Fayalite held up her hands, the picture of peace. “Listen. You could fight me. Take out all your anger, protect your precious pearl, all that. But I’m not the one who slipped that over her gem. You want to know who did?”

“Tephroite,” Pearl gasped, shaking like a leaf. Her wounds were gushing again, hot blood trailing down her legs and wetting the grass.

Connie noticed. “Steven, look! Pearl, eyes on me. You’re okay,” she gripped Pearl’s shoulders, but she might as well have been shaking a stuffed animal, for all the response Pearl could muster.

Steven bit his lip, glancing between them and Fayalite.

The Jeweler giggled. “Yep. I’m just the apprentice. The master’s inside, with your Bismuth and that fusion. I’d hate to see what she’ll do to them. Might want to hurry…” she trailed off, cackling, and strolled into the Prime Kindergarten.

Amethyst moved to follow, face darkening with anger, but Steven grabbed her arm. “No, wait. She’s right. We have to get Bismuth and Garnet.”

“But then we’ll be right back where we started.” Amethyst wrenched away. “If I take her down, we can force her take this thing off Pearl! Then it won’t matter if they put one of those on Garnet and Bismuth.”

“What if she doesn’t just put a restabilizer on them? What if they have something else in there?” Connie demanded.

Pearl felt faint. Fayalite’s spell—or maybe it was just good, old-fashioned intimidation—wore off when she slipped out of sight, but Pearl still felt like she’d been hit by, well, Sugalite. She wanted this to be over, so, so badly.

But her family was in danger.

So she gritted her teeth and grabbed Connie’s shoulder, steadying herself against the girl’s strong hold. “N-No. She’s right. Tephroite has them. We—can’t let her put restabilizers on them too.”

“Fine, whatever. Let me go after her alone—”

“Amethyst,” Pearl said, and the word was enough to cut her off. “We need you to get us up there.”

Amethyst glanced at the Jeweler’s base entrance, high above them. A tense moment passed, where Pearl could see her weighing the pros and cons.

Probably, her idea was smarter. Probably they’d regret not catching Fayalite. But Pearl couldn’t endanger anyone else, and the mission parameters were clear from the start. Save Garnet and Bismuth.

Amethyst must have realized it too, because she waved a hand, dismissing her whip, then shapeshifted into a helicopter. Her eyes narrowed. “Fine. But for the record, I think this is another Bad Idea.”

“Add it to the list,” Pearl ground out, and they climbed aboard.