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After the latest mission went (partly) bust, I found myself unmotivated to do much at all. At this rate, I was sleeping as much as Kurosaki and if I had wasn't asleep I was curled under my covers wishing I could be asleep. As well as that, I had been fainting; not dramatically of course, but still rather often. Sometimes it would be for a few seconds and others would leave me unconscious for hours.
When I finally bothered to focus once more, I was confused about where I was. It took me a moment to register that I was, in fact, staring at my bedroom ceiling, rather than the recreation area I could have sworn I was last in. Sighing, I sat upright from my slouched position and rubbed my eyes.
"It's good to see you're finally awake, Tokiya."
"Ichinose," I corrected with a groggy tone followed by Jinguji clicking his tongue before walking to my bedside, something I'd most likely have prevented if I had the energy.
"Wait a moment how–"
"You really need to stop stressing over yourself and work, it's slightly killing you." He said, cutting me off, as he moved the covers from me and gently pulled me onto my feet.
"Slightly isn't fully so I fail to see your issue, and please stop being so direct. I can get up without you manhandling me."
Jinguji sighed as he leads me to my open closet, telling me to pick attire to wear for outside of work. "My issue is the fact the only decent person I know isn't treating himself well. This is a dangerous life we're living and you can't afford to slip up."
Wrapping the shirt I had picked up over my forearm, I exhaled heavily. I knew he was right, you can't exactly send dead weight out a mission without expecting it to be the biggest target available.
"Then get used to the company of Kurosaki or Camus, they're skilled at this. Also, How is that relevant to you intruding into my room– especially while I was asleep?" I questioned before picking up my plum waistcoat and heading towards the small bathroom that linked onto the room.
"You were passed out and you expect me to leave you there? I didn't know if you were sick or if you've been keeping yourself up for days on end again. Of course, I'd watch over you."
Several moments passed.
"I apologise for being bitter. Thank you for your care, Jinguji."
He groaned as I shut the door behind me and began to unbutton the silk nightshirt that loosely fell around my frame.
"Please don't apologise."
He was silent while I dressed, though I still knew he was awaiting me. Sometimes I had to think about whether I appreciated certain things and I'd be lying if I didn't say that nearly every time with Jinguji was like that. He had a charm that really could win anyone over.
Quickly smoothing out the waistcoat, I took one last glance in the mirror and decided I looked presentable enough. I knew it wasn't healthy for me to do so, but I couldn't pass two moments without looking at my reflection and finding the bags under my eyes repulsive (I had to get a lady at the agency to cover them for me before missions) or the tone of my skin. Even the way clothing sat on me but never quite fit my frame caused my doubt to bubble.
As soon as I unlocked and opened the bathroom door, I was indeed met with Jinguji waiting for me. I assumed my face was still twisted with doubt as he seemed fairly down once more.
"Was everything okay in there?"
A strained laugh caught in my throat as I spoke, my voice shaking. "I haven't got a clue–"
"Tokiya, I'm not deaf. Unless your clothing is lightweight to an extreme, you finished getting dressed a few minutes ago."
I mumbled under my breath as I went to walk past– though before I could, Jinguji shot forwards and placed a grip on my wrist. At that moment I wasn't really sure what kept me frozen on the spot, it easily could have been him; though my fingers curling wad an obvious sign of my discomfort which also had me stood still.
As soon as he noticed this, Jinguji released me.
"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable-"
"Then perhaps you shouldn't barge into my room, practically watch me sleep and have a conversation about details of myself I clearly don't wish to start converse on. You even mentioned it before, that this is a dangerous job. It's nothing more or nothing less than a task, Jinguji. You're not meant to feel happy or feel comfortable."
"That doesn't mean it can't be fun!" His voice was fierce, not necessarily at me but still with enough emotion to stop me from walking away.
"Just take a few hours away from it all, I'll be right with you so you can tell me when you want to leave."
A sigh slipped past my drawn lips as he finally walked up to me, a small grin onto his own as I replied 'Okay.'
Jinguji let out a half-hearted chuckle as he left my room, grabbed his keys from the small bowl he left on the counter (Why someone would put car keys the size of a fist in the kitchen, I don't know, ) before he almost literally dragged me from the place I stood and out to the garage.
"Come on, you need to be taught how to relax– of course by a professional such as myself," Jinguji said as he pulled on my arm, much to my displeasure, while he walked towards his convertible. Aside from its a folding roof, the whole exterior was painted deep crimson and had a shine whenever it got caught in the light.
(It was truly was beautiful, I didn't want to admit that after causing such a fuss to avoid entering it though.)
"You really cannot think that I'll let you drive me around in that," I said while Jinguji put on a false hurt expression as he leant towards the vehicle, "Don't say such things about her, she's very beautiful!"
"There aren't any agency related issues right now so I don't see the issue with staying in my room as I was."
"Maybe it's the fact you look like you haven't seen the sun since '77? It's been about four years since you graduated and got roped into this right, right? And I told you Icchi, you can't just stay inside sulking over yourself."
"Wait, what?"
He chuckled, "Come on if you could be bothered you'd probably be watching those chick film–"
"No, you said Icchi," I spoke with a too harsh tone. Jinguji however, didn't pay notice to this as a grin crawled onto his features. "It's your nickname, everyone who relaxes needs a nickname."
"Surely you don't plan on addressing me with that?
Jinguji sighed as he leant against the vehicle as if he were in thought. "What about Cutie?"
"I'd rather you not."
"Gum Drop?"
"What was so difficult about calling–"
He suddenly stood straight before batting his eyelashes flamboyantly whilst flashing his pearl white smile, "Isn't Fine Ass fitting?"
"Jinguji!" I felt my cheeks burn up slightly as he chuckled before opening the door for me, gesturing me to enter.
"I'm guessing you wish to go with Icchi?"
"Fine, " I grunted while getting into the car, not wanting to bother giving the all too smug male a proper reply. Jinguji chuckled as he swung the right door open and threw himself down inside, "Knew I'd win you over."
"Anyways," he said looking over to me, "is there anything, in particular, you wanna listen to in the radio? Don't be shy with your choice, we all like a bit of The Culture Club past nine."
I scoffed.
"It's your pick, I don't often listen to music on the radio these days and even if I had the time so I'd much rather practice my own musical skill."
Although I had been looking ahead ever since I sat in the passenger seat, I could faintly see a discouraged expression twist on his features before he switched on the radio and gave me a smile.
Figuring I had been bitter, even more so than usual, I turned to give him a gentle smile back but stopped before I could.
I wasn't too certain of the strange warmth that flooded my chest when I saw his smile; his genuine smile, meaning not the one he passed out to charm his way through assigned tasks. It must have been rude for me to stare but even the way his hair curled just under his left eye when it wasn't slick with copious amounts of gel made the turn of his closed eyes far more beautiful.
I began to realise that I really was acting strangely after that last mission, perhaps due to my lack of sleep or maybe my fitness skills had started to falter due to the suddenness of me failing to train them at all.
Doubting it was anything as I struggled to smile back, I relaxed back into the seat as he began to drive. Even though only a few seconds had passed during the time I had spent admiring his features I felt as if someone had held me on standstill, depriving me of any coherent thought other than the absolute need to keep my gaze on that ridiculous smile of his.
Whatever song he had chosen was clearly one he favoured as even though only the beginning had started to play he, in a very childish manner, began to hum to the tune. I almost felt bad about interrupting him.
"Where are we visiting then?"
"Your guess is as good as mine," replied Jinguji with a far too calm tone.
"You don't even know...?!" I yelled, not finding myself able to feel calm. Straying from my own schedule makes me feel a strange discomfort but having been put in a situation with no schedule was definitely worse.
He rolled his eyes jokingly before talking, "That's the whole point of being relaxed, you just go where the wind takes you."
"We're in a car, Jinguji."
"We're in a car that is also a convertible," Jinguji replied before fiddling around with whatever controls he had nearest to the wheel. Unsurprisingly, the roof began to fold back and I'd have been lying if I had said the breeze didn't feel nice; compared to the warm summer night air anyways.
"See? Told you it was nice."
"... I suppose it's not too bad," I mumbled as the road grew darker. It wasn't something alarming, the streetlights just weren't as frequent and they had a dim glow, unlike the ones in the main city; it made me feel as if I were in a completely separate reality from my current one as if I was safe.
"The night feels particularly nice tonight," Jinguji had clearly passed the comment to avoid a heavy (let alone awkward) silence.
"It almost feels gentle... It's not often you experience this aurora past the youth of dusk. I never knew you had taken a liking to nocturnal environments as well," I replied as I felt myself become nearly limp beneath the seat belt, allowing the breeze to calm any panic I originally felt. Despite Jinguji's original plan, I wondered if he would mind staying like this.
"Something on your mind?"
Jinguji's voice seemed a lot calmer, I couldn't decide whether it was because we were away from the apartment complex for something other than a mission or if he had genuinely meant the soft tone.
"I understand your intentions were to have me visit someplace lively," Jinguji let out a heavy breath and slowed the car slightly, causing me to pause before hesitantly resuming, "but I found it rather nice out tonight, so perhaps I could spend the time you chose separate from the city life, with you."
He didn't respond as he picked up the lost speed and it made the seatbelt securing me feel as if it almost crushed my chest.
"Sure."
I turned to him, surprise in my wide eyes, "Pardon?"
Jinguji's lips turned into yet another smile, "This was intended for you to escape the stress of work, correct? I wouldn't put you with a group of sleazy clubbers when I know you couldn't even handle the company of an office worker taking a short holiday."
My face suddenly felt far more heated than before, but my mouth had shut before I managed to make any kind of remark as Jinguji had begun to laugh, making me assume he had been watching me from the corner of his eye.
"I'm just pulling your leg, Icchi. You don't like noise, so what? I know a place that'll be right up your street if you wish for peace, it's actually not too far from here"
I found myself mumbling my gratitude before turning and watching the fleeting scenery. Although the wind slightly dried my eyes causing me to blink rather frequently, I couldn't help but point out as many details as I could. The street was a typical one, many of the houses structured the same, row by row and door by door. Though sometimes there would be a garden covered with concrete (something I found to be extremely unattractive when compared to lush grass) or a tenant had fitted a different door on at some point.
I don't think I could ever bear to live in a place like that, though after working alongside each other in such a strange manner, I doubt any of my colleges could either. Jinguji had told me what his life was like before all of this, while he was more than charming and a very decent talk now, I couldn't imagine getting along with him in his teen years.
While he came from a rich family, he didn't get much of the family name, benefits or profit to himself due to being the youngest child, so he leads a carefree life. Many people stereotype children like that to either be involved in street crime for as long as they live or be a spy, though I prefer to use the term secret agent when addressing our team; we never deliver feedback that isn't gathered in a manner other than pristine.
It wasn't too long after until Jinguji finally pulled the vehicle to the side and into a small, almost desolate area. The light was minimal, though from the horrid sound as the wheels turned I could only assume we were in some kind of car park.
"I hadn't realised peace in your terms meant a narcotic ring."
He chuckled as he shifted in his seat and eventually brought the roof back over us, "Is that really the best you have for me?"
"Perhaps," I said before exiting and waiting under the nearest post. Admittedly, I was slightly scared. While I understood Jinguji probably had good intentions for me, you always see documentaries on women taken under the moonlight and while I don't happen to be nearly as weak, as long as its Jinguji (or anyone else working under Shining Agency for this matter) I could easily find myself as a victim.
Thankfully he joined my side within no time, just equipped with a torch.
"Usually it isn't this dark, though there should be enough light when we get there."
I nodded before allowing him to lead me towards some kind of observation post. It was a large bank overlooking the city which sat at the bottom of the hill. Despite the close proximity to the city, the area was almost soundless and the sky was very visibly a deep blue and many of the stars that were scattered upon it were ones I couldn't even see before. As well as that, it wasn't as dark as the trail leading to it due to the same wooden posts that lit the car park.
Without pressing a second thought to it, I slowly walked forward and sat on the grass, just short of the slope leading downwards. Jinguji joined me, and for once I didn't hesitate someone's actions as if it was a completely normal thing to just sit and overlook a whole different world of people.
It wasn't until I looked over towards Jinguji that I realised he was looking at me, whether he was lost in thought or not I hadn't known but even when I had 'caught' him per se, he still looked onwards before smiling.
"If you don't mind me asking, why are you smiling?"
His head slowly turned to look forwards, out into the blazing city lights before he replied, "Its nothing really, just you seem to be a lot more relaxed now and it's pretty nice to see after how stressed you've been lately."
A smile danced on my lips, though suddenly after my face dropped into a more serious one.
"Jinguji...?"
"Hm?" He turned to face me.
"Do you mind. Embracing me? Please don't feel as if you have to."
Without talking or even making a remark, strangely, Jinguji shuffled closer to me before I wrapped my arms around his torso. The only thing I managed to hear was the pounding of my heart against my eardrum and for a moment I felt as if the next blink of my eyes would end with me in bed after having a dream.
It wasn't. As soon as I finally let my eyes fall shut I was still in Jinguji's arms as if it wasn't shameless nor abnormal, I was partially surprised he had even allowed me.
"I'm sorry," I made sure my voice didn't come out as weak when I spoke, even though I was wishing I could bury my head far past him and end up under the ground away from everything for a bit.
"For what? Come on there's nobody around, so it's not public dis–"
"I meant for suddenly holding onto you and... For not really being the most mature person to deal with. It hasn't been my intentions to do so and I appreciate the efforts you must have put on me."
As he laughed, I felt his chest rumble against my cheek and at that moment I swore my heart fluttered ever so slightly, "You really need to relax a little, it's nothing you should worry about. Being mature isn't something everyone can always do."
For a moment I wondered why he was being so genuine, supportive of someone such as myself. It sounded strange when I realised I had thought it, but at first, I found myself feeling slightly hurt when I realise he had taken on a more serious role when leaving my sleeping quarters.
"I see, thank you for enlightening me," I replied softly while calming slightly more into his embrace.
Suddenly I jumped, only a little but still enough to cause Jinguji to shift back himself before asking what was the matter.
"I hadn't realised I was still in your arms, sorry for alarming you."
He sighed, his eyebrows knitted. "It's not a bad thing, honestly. Even if, you're still so tense, it almost feels like you're scared."
Letting out a half-hearted chuckle, I delicately looked to the side and almost instantly I felt that Jinguji knew I wanted to have a less uptight conversation.
"It almost felt as if I was abandoning a small puppy– you're awfully warm Icchi, did you know that?"
"Jinguji I was a little sad, not a little infant," I said with a dull tone that couldn't quite manage to conceal the humoured one underneath.
"See? Even now you're whining so awfully at me, perhaps I should keep you safe and keep giving you attention," He purred before passing me a quick wink, causing me to laugh once more.
Not too long after we had finally relaxed once more, I was in the position I had originally been in while Jinguji was leant back onto his hands, head lolled backwards and until the tips of his hair brushed the blades of grass ever so gently. Once he caught my stare, he shot me a smug grin and I didn't realise how thankful I was for that, rather than the almost empty stare he had given me back earlier, "Please, never change."
He jumped up, hand on his chest to further show fake hurt. "You say as if I'm like I'm special!"
"Don't fail to believe me when I say you're undoubtedly special Jinguji," I grinned before letting my eyes flutter shut.