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Chapter Text

Ali found herself pacing through the house, waiting for her better half to wake up. Ashlyn had arrived "late" in the early hours of the morning from a work trip, and not wanting to wake Ali up she fell asleep on the couch instead of joining her wife in their bed.

Ali knew her wife was tired, but they hadn't seen each other for two weeks. At the moment, she was really having a hard time waiting for her wife to join the conscious world. Ashlyn had been working extra hard lately to try to provide the best life for Ali and their two kids. Ali assumed that Ash fell asleep the moment her body hit the couch.

Ali couldn't just sit around and do nothing. She decided the least she could do was unpack for her wife and start a load of laundry. She grabbed Ashlyn's suitcase that was unceremoniously dropped off right inside the front door, and took it to their room to empty out.

A few minutes later their youngest, Samuel wandered in holding his blanket and favorite little car. One of his little 3 year old hands grabbed at his mother's leg and leaned up against it. He had always been a cuddler. He was a mirror of Ashlyn in showing affection to those he loved. Ali bent down and picked him up. He wrapped one arm around his mommy's neck and the other, still holding his car, grabbed at the front of her shirt. He leaned his head down on Ali's shoulder and embraced her quietly.

This was nothing new for Ali. She had learned a long time ago how to love on her little ones and still get stuff done. She held him tight with one arm and grabbed the laundry basket with the other. After Ali had started one load of Ashlyn's clothes, she went back to the abandoned suitcase to put it back in the closet where it belonged.

Once she made sure everything was in its rightful place, she decided to wake up their 5 year old daughter, Lexi. Lexi was just like Ali, a total diva. Every outfit, every accessory, every THING had to be just right and up to the ‘DIVA STANDARD.’ That was a running joke in the household. Ali and Lexi weren't ready until they had the diva standard of approval.

Lexi was already up when Ali knocked and opened her room door. She was dressed up in a cute little yellow dress, accessorized with big costume jewelry and three bright colored scarves wrapped around her. At the sound of her mother entering the room she turned around and said "Mommy, do I look fabulous?"

"Oh yes, sweetheart, you look fabulous." Ali assured her.

"Good. Because I am a princess and I need to look fabulous."

Ali laughed at her daughter. "Well, girl you nailed it. I am so glad someone in this house has their priorities in order." Lexi just laughed. She has no idea what the word ‘priority’ meant, but if her mom said it then it was okay with her.

Ali heard some movement in the living room and knew that could only mean one thing.

Her wife was awake.

She gave herself a mental high five for waiting and not waking her up as she gathered the kids together to welcome Ashlyn home.
Ashlyn, with blurry eyes and an unbalanced walk made her way to the coffee maker. She was out of it. She cleared her throat and rubbed her eyes but still felt the weight of her exhaustion in her body. Sleeping on the couch definitely didn't do her back any favors. After stretching her back in an attempt to adjust some of the knots, she leaned on the counter and stared mindlessly at the coffee pot. It was Ali's sweet voice that brought her back from her zoned out state.

"Welcome home, Baby." Ali said sweetly.

At this the blonde turned around and embraced her wife. She put her face in Ali's neck, inhaled her scent and made a satisfied hum of contentment.

She felt a little tug on her leg and looked down to see Lexi with a look that said "You better acknowledge me or else..." Ashlyn scooped her up and held her tight.

"Hey sweet girl" Ash said. "I missed you so much. Have you been helping Mommy take care of your brother while I was away?"

"Mama, I have done everything around here. I helped make food for him. I helped him pick up his toys. I let him sleep with my favorite bedtime stuffed animals..." Lexi trailed off trying to think of more things that would impress her mom.

Ashlyn looked at her with an overly dramatic wonder and said, "Wow, you really were a big help while I was gone. Thank you for being such a good big sister. Now, where's my welcome home kiss?" At this request Lexi gave her a big hug and kiss.

Ash put Lexi down and then picked up her son. When she asked if he was a good boy for his Mommy, he grabbed her neck and hugged her tight. "Mama, I be good." He said.

She asked if he missed her while she was away and he let out a dramatic sigh and laid his head on her shoulder and said, "Yes, Mama. I missed you more." He had heard Ash and Ali go back and forth about who would miss whom more. His interpretation of this was just to say it whenever he missed someone. He was pretty cute like that.

Ali gave her wife a quick side hug and told her to sit down. "Baby, what do you want for breakfast?” Ali asked.

"I'm not really hungry. Coffee will be good for now." Ash answered.

Ali made it just how she liked it and brought it over. She gave her a peck on the forehead and pulled back with a weird look.
"Ash, you’re really hot." Ali said worriedly.

Ashlyn smirked and replied with a "I think you're hot too, Babe."

Ali gave a small laugh, "Baby, that's not what I meant. Thank you though, but you feel like you might have a fever. Are you feeling okay?"

"I don't know" Ash shrugged. "I'm really tired and sore from sleeping on the couch, but I don't feel too bad."

"Ashlyn, you always say you don't feel bad and then you end up throwing up or coughing all night. You're home now. And I finally can take care of you again. Why don't you go lay down IN OUR BED and I will bring you something to eat. We can snuggle with the kids and watch cartoons all morning."

"That sounds really nice. Thank you, Alex. I really did miss you." Ash said squeezing her wife's hand.

"I missed you more!" Ali said as she leaned down to seal it with a kiss.

As Ashlyn got up to go to bed, they heard their little boy yell, "MISS YOU MORE!" as he rolled his toy car across the kitchen floor.

It certainly was good to be home, Ashlyn thought.

Chapter Text

The scene unfolding in front of Ali's eyes was hilarious. She was watching her almost 30 year old, blindfolded wife, crawl on the living room floor. Their 5 year old daughter was riding on her back and giving her directions on where to go. They were on a very important adventure to find the handsome Prince Samuel. (He was hiding behind the couch, giggling his little heart out.)

Ashlyn knew exactly where the boy was because he was a noisy little Prince, but she didn't want to spoil the fun. Lexi also knew where her brother was, but she was not about to resign the power she had over her mighty steed. Therefore, Lexi gave orders to Ashlyn that led her everywhere but where Sam was hiding.

After their third trip around the coffee table Ali could tell her wife needed a break, so she called an ‘adventure time-out’ and brought them fruit snacks and juice boxes. Ashlyn just took off her blindfold and dramatically fell on the floor. Sam came over with a handful of a few snacks and held them up to her mouth like he was feeding an actual horse a sugar cube.

"Here go Mama, eat yer food." He said.

Both Ash and Ali were cracking up at this point. They really had the absolute best kids in the world. Ali loved how Ashlyn jumped right into their imaginative adventures.

After snack time, Ashlyn scooped up their little boy and sat down in her favorite recliner. It didn't take long until they were both fast asleep. The little boy had his head tucked into his Mama's chest and was holding tight to her hand. The scene was precious. Ali's heart was in danger of melting into a puddle right there on their living room floor.

"Mommy....helloooooooooooo!" The little girl's voice broke her out of her stupor.

"Sorry sweetheart, I was just making sure Mama and Sammy were nice and comfy." she answered. "I think God gives me little moments like this to remind me how lucky I am."

Lexi just looked at her like she had two heads. Nothing was more important in her little world than the question her mom didn't hear her ask. The little diva was not happy until Ali turned and gave her her full attention.

"Mommy, did you hear what I said? You have got to listen better!" Ali could tell that her little girl was excited about something and if she didn't get her way, she was on the verge of a diva meltdown.

She answered her daughter, "Baby, I am so sorry. What was it you were trying to say?"

"Well," the 5 year old said, "I was saying that we were gonna have a nail party today. Remember? Just me and you..."

The two had planned on getting manicures and pedicures. These were the type of things that a little brother just couldn't appreciate. So it was always a big deal to Lexi to have all of her Mommy's attention to do one of her favorite things.

"Of course, I remember. Let's get this party started."

And just like that her daughter's face lit up.

...

After a nap and a trip to the park, Ashlyn and Sam were ready to see their favorite girls. Ali sent Ash a quick text and told her that they needed her to stay away for a little longer because they had a surprise for them. One ice cream stop and carry out order later, the two knocked loudly on the front door and waited to see if they were allowed in yet.

Ali answered the door with a bright pink feather boa around her neck and huge matching sunglasses. "Welcome to the Krieger-Harris fashion show. Please have a seat in the VIP section."

Ali led them to the back yard where they had a make shift runway made out of white Christmas lights and party streamers. It was quite a sight against the darkness of the night sky. They had set up a lawn chair with lots of pillows for their VIP guests to sit on. Ashlyn sat down and pulled Sam up onto her lap.

"This is awesome, Babe." Ash smiled up at her wife.

"Just you wait, we have a whole show for you two." Ali answered.

She walked over to her iPod and played the song "I'm too sexy" and right on cue, Lexi came out and did her model walk, twirl, and fierce serious face pose. Ashlyn and Sam oohed and awed in response. Lexi headed back to the 'changing area' inside and Ali came out right away and showed her family what modeling was all about.

The two models both had about ten costume changes and garnered lots of applause and whistles. After the show, the family snuggled up on the couch and ate dinner. Between bites Lexi showed off her new polished nails and told Ashlyn all about the fun her and her Mommy had trying on clothes and putting on make-up.

Ashlyn looked up for a moment and saw her wife feeding their son. Sam was too busy playing with his food to manage to get any in his mouth. They were both cracking up. Ash saw the joy on their faces and looked down at her daughter who could not stop talking about how much fun she had that day.

Right then and there it hit her. No amount of gold medals, World Cup championships, awards, or accolades could ever compare to the dream she was living now.

She was blessed infinitely more than she could have ever imagined.

Chapter Text

Ashlyn was awoken by the sound of her son crying and her daughter screaming at him. Ali was trying to defuse the situation, but both children were too worked up. Ash hurried to Lexi's room to see what was going on. There she saw Sam hiding behind her wife crying and holding his head. When he saw Ashlyn walk into the room he ran to her and held out his arms signaling that he wanted to be held. She obliged his request and gave him a kiss. She looked to Ali for an explanation.

"Apparently, Sammy broke Lexi's favorite bracelet, so she decided the appropriate response was to hit him in the head with his favorite toy train."

While Ali was updating Ash, Sam maintained a steady flow of tears and just kept asking for his Mama's attention over and over again. "Shhh buddy, it's ok. I'm sure Lexi didn't mean to hurt you." Ash said trying to comfort him.

In response Lexi said under her breath "Yes, I did." However, she was not quiet enough and both her mothers heard what she said. Ali looked at Ashlyn with frustration written all over her face. Ash could tell she needed a break. She handed Samuel over to her and sat on Lexi's bed. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Alexandra Elizabeth, come here" Ash said reaching out toward her daughter. "Is was Mommy said true? Did you hit your brother?"

"Yes," Lexi said, "...but he broke my princess bracelet." Ashlyn could tell that she felt absolutely justified in her actions.

"I'm sorry that he broke your favorite bracelet. but people are more important than things. It is not okay to hit someone because you're angry. It is especially not okay to hit your little brother." Lexi didn't say a word. She just stared at her feet and tried hard not to cry. She was starting to feel really bad about what she did. Especially with the sound of her brother's sniffling in the background.

"Do you have anything you would like to say to your brother?" Ashlyn asked. The little girl just shook her head no.

"Okay well, you can stay in your room until you're ready to apologize to him. You really hurt his feelings. Lexi, you know that you, Sam, and Mommy are the most important thing to me. I love you so much. We have to take care of each other. We will make mistakes and sometimes hurt each other, but we have to forgive and be kind to one another."

Both Ali and Ashlyn kissed Lexi on the top of the head and left her to think about what she had done.They took their son to the kitchen and gave him a popsicle and a bag of frozen peas to put on his head. He was fine, but his wound required a little extra love and attention from his mothers. Ali took the responsibility of kissing it and making it all better. He was laughing and smiling in no time.

About 10 minutes later Lexi walked up to them. When Sam saw her he turned away from her. Ali tried to adjust him in her arms to face Lexi, but he was not having it. Ashlyn's heart broke when she saw the expression on Lexi's face. She felt horrible.

"Hey buddy," Ash said "...your sister wants to say something to you. Will you please turn around?"
He shook his head no.

"Hey little man, you don't want to hurt Lexi's feelings, do you?"

He shook his head no again and turned towards her.

"Lexi, what was it you wanted to say?"Ali asked.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. I love you."

Sam reached out toward his sister and Ali set him down so he could hug her. Lexi decided it was now her job to cheer him up and grabbed his hand and took him to the living room to play with his toys.

Ali leaned up against Ashlyn, "Well, I think that crisis is over."

"Ha, yeah. I think so....You know what, babe? I think we could use a date night. Our little monsters are wearing me out."

"Yeah, I think you may be on to something there." Ali said with a laugh. "We haven't had much alone time lately, have we?"

Ashlyn laughed and answered her wife "Alone time...What's that?"

"Alright babe, as blessed as we are to have these little angels, I am gonna figure out some way to show you how much I appreciate you. Leave it to me. I got this." Ali told her while putting her arms around her wife's waist.

"That sounds great. But I'm not the only one who deserves time away. You're the heart of this family, Alex. You're everything to me." Ashlyn followed these words with a gentle kiss.

The beautiful moment between the women didn't last long. They were interrupted by a high pitched scream followed by two voices yelling "MOM!"

Chapter Text

Father's Day

The family had invited Ali's dad over for dinner to celebrate Father's Day. He was currently having a princess tea party with Lexi and Ali in the backyard. Sam was helping Ashlyn with the grill. Ash had prepared all the meat, including making a couple play-dough hot dogs and hamburger patties for her son to 'cook' on his toy grill. Whenever Ashlyn flipped a burger, the little boy flipped a burger. If Ashlyn took a drink, he would take one from his sippy cup. He was in awe of his Mama and wanted to be just like her.

When it came time to take the meat off the grill, Ashlyn left on a few burgers and picked up Sam. "Hey Sammy, you wanna help me with these last couple burgers?"

"Yes Mama, can I? I big enough." Sammy replied.

Ashlyn gave him the spatula and held his little hand as he put the burgers on the nearby plate. His face was scrunched up in concentration with his little tongue poking out. He wanted to be careful not to drop it and make sure he made his mom proud.

"Great job, little man!" Ashlyn encouraged him. "That is a great looking burger."

"I did good!" He cheered and gave Ashlyn a high five topped off with a knuckle touch.

"You did really good! Will you please go and let Mommy, Grandpa, and Lexi know dinner is ready?" She asked.

"Okay, Mama!" He ran off excited to tell his Mommy how good of a job he did helping his Mama with the grill.

After dinner Ali found Ashlyn alone in the kitchen washing dishes. "Hey sweetheart, you don't have to do those right now. Come outside and sit by the fire. Dad is helping the kids make s'mores." Ali told her wife.

"It's fine." Ashlyn answered. "I'll join you in a bit." Ashlyn kept her head down and seemed to be a little too focused on the cup she was washing. Ali could tell there was more keeping her in the kitchen than dirty dishes.

"Hey Ash, can you turn around for a minute?" Ashlyn took a deep breath and slowly let it out. When she turned around Ali could see her eyes were a little glossy and she was biting her lower lip. Two sure signs that she was trying not to cry. Ali immediately grabbed Ashlyn and pulled her into a hug.

"Baby, what is it?" she asked quietly. Knowing that Ash usually needed a minute to collect her thoughts before she could share her feelings. Ashlyn held her close for a moment and then pulled away.

She turned around and started washing the same glass she had been washing moments ago. Ali just stared at the back of her head, willing her to speak. But Ashlyn just kept scrubbing that stupid cup. Ali slowly moved toward her and hugged Ash from behind.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just want to help." Ali said.

Ashlyn turned the water off and finally answered her wife. "It's just...I don't know. I guess it's stupid."

Ali reassured her, "I'm sure it's not stupid. If it matters to you, it matters. What is it?"

"I guess I saw your dad playing with the kids and being with you..I mean I love him and all, and I am so thankful for him...I just......it kinda made me sad to think about how I didn't really have that growing up. I guess I just don't understand why a Dad wouldn't want to be a part of his child's life. I know it's not rational to blame the child for a parent's disinterest, but I can't help but think maybe I just wasn't enough or I wasn't what he wanted." Ashlyn had said all of this facing away from her wife and Ali couldn't stand it for one more moment.

"Baby, will you please turn around." Ashlyn complied and before she knew it she was quietly crying into Ali's shoulder.

"It really is stupid" Ashlyn half laughed, half cried. "I don't know why I am so emotional today."

"It's not stupid, Ash. I know you always get a little sad on some holidays, and that you always try to be the best parent possible to our kids because you worry you're not enough." Ali pulled away a little and made sure she had eye contact with her wife before she continued.

"Ash, I need you to know that all the struggle you went through has made you the most amazing person I know. You are enough. You are more than enough. I am so sorry if anyone has ever made you feel otherwise. But you are a better parent and person than me or our kids could ever wish for."

Ali's speech was sincere and couldn't be more true. Ash had always made sacrifices and put the family first. She never wanted to let her family down or make them feel like they weren't enough for her. They were everything to her.

By time she was done talking, Ali was the one in tears and Ash was comforting her. "I love you. Thank you for believing in me." Ashlyn said. Right as she was about to kiss her wife she heard the sliding door open and the little feet of their daughter walk in.

"Mommy, Sammy dropped all the marshmallows in the fire. Grandpa said to ask you for more."

Ali found the extra bag and handed it to Lexi. Lexi quickly left wanting to make sure she didn't miss out on anything fun with her grandfather.

"Well," Ashlyn said, "...why don't we join them." As they made their way to the backyard, Ashlyn had one more deep thought to share with her wife.

"Hey Al, you know what they say about s'mores, right?" Ashlyn smirked and said, "Once you eat one, you'll want s'more."

Ashlyn could not contain her laughter. She was very pleased with her joke and Ali was sure she would hear it several more times before the end of the night. She didn't care if she said it a million times. It was worth it to see her smile again.

"Babe, did you hear what I said? You'll want s'more. Like some more. S'more. Get it?" Ashlyn couldn't catch her breath from laughing so hard.

"I heard you. You're hilarious." Ali said trying not to sound too sarcastic. Ash gave her a quick squeeze and hurried to the fire to share her wit with the rest of her family.

Ali just shook her head and said to herself "How did I ever get so lucky to marry that big dork?"

Chapter Text

It took three weeks of planning, but Ali and Ashlyn were finally able to figure out a way to spend some time alone. Ali had worked it out that her mom would come visit for a week and during that time her and Ash would slip away for some quality time.

Ali's mom had been there now for three days and it was a big help. They practically felt like they were on vacation. Ali had planned a few surprises for their date night and was in the process of getting everything ready. Ashlyn was making a last minute run to the grocery store to make sure grandma and the kids were all stocked up with their favorite snacks.

When Ash got home her mother-in-law sent her straight upstairs to her and Ali's room to get dressed. "I don't know where we are going. What should I wear?" Ali's mom just laughed at her and told her that her wife had it under control. "Of course she does," whispered Ashlyn.

When Ashlyn opened the door to their room, she found an outfit set out for her on their bed. She shook her head. Her wife really did take care of everything. She heard Ali in the master bathroom getting ready. "Babe, what time do we need to leave?" she asked.

Ali poked her head out the door and told her they had about 30 minutes before they needed to leave. "Als, you are looking good!" Ash said as she tapped the bathroom door open and snuck her arm around Ali's waist. She pulled her close with a firm grip.

Ali knew exactly what Ashlyn was feeling, she was feeling it too, but she also knew how hard it was to get their schedules to line up and do all the things she had planned for the night. Ashlyn would get the affection she was longing for, but she was going to have to wait a little longer.

"Baby, I love you but I need you to get dressed." Ali said as she pushed Ashlyn out the door.

"Baaaaaabe. Are you serious? Come on. We can be really fast. You haven't done your hair yet. It's the perfect time." Ashlyn begged.

"You're ridiculous. Go get dressed and I will do your makeup for you." Ali said.

"Ah, fine." Ashlyn sighed and did as she was told. "Where are we going? You've got me looking fly." Ash said with a cocky grin towards the bathroom door. To this Ali just laughed and rolled her eyes.

It only took Ashlyn a few minutes to get ready. Although she was having trouble getting the knot on her tie just right. She had retied it a dozen times before her wife gently slapped at her hand and took over the task.

"There. What do you think?" Ali asked as she turned her wife towards the mirror.

"It looks perfect. Just like my perfect wife." Ashlyn grinned seductively and slid her hand down her wife's side until it rested on her hip.

"You're sweet....but the answer is still no. We have a reservation to make." Ali said and topped it off by squeezing Ashlyn's cheeks together and giving her a quick kiss on the lips.

Ali and Ash finished getting ready and said their good-byes to Ali's mom and the kids. Ashlyn helped Ali put on her coat and led her outside with her hand on her lower back. She started walking towards her Jeep but Ali had other plans.

"Nope, we're taking mine tonight." Ali said and pointed to her car.

"Are you driving?" Ash asked.

"Yeah, you got a problem with that?" Ali challenged.

Ashlyn laughed and declared "Heck no, I love it when my hot wife takes control."

"Well then, get in the car, buckle up, and shut up!" Ali sternly said.

"Oh, yes ma'am." Ashlyn played along.

The rest of the drive was made up of them flirting and joking around with each other. They made a deal beforehand not to talk about the kids or anything that was family responsibilities related. They needed time to just focus on them.

Their relationship was solid. They had been together for a long time and one of the things that they had promised each other a long time ago was to always try to learn more about the other. They would be intentional about finding out the mysteries that lay within them. They knew each other well, better than any one else on the planet, but they looked at each other like there was always more to find out. It kept their relationship fresh and exciting.

They pulled up to an upscale Italian restaurant and Ashlyn hurried to open her wife's car door. She offered her hand to help her out. "How do you drive in those heels?" Ashlyn asked.

Ali was dressed in a tight black dress and black matching heels. She knew that dress drove Ashlyn crazy and she was milking it for all she could. She would nonchalantly back into her front and apply a little pressure when they were waiting for their table. Ashlyn would inhale sharply at the contact and Ali would have to remind her to remember to breathe.

Dinner was filled with lingering touches and meaningful glances. Both women's minds were occupied with things other than food.

"I can't wait for dessert." Ashlyn said raising her eyebrows up and down for effect.

"Me neither. But we will both have to wait. We have 2 more stops tonight." Ali answered.

They paid the bill and Ali took them to a nearby pier. The scene was very romantic. There was a stringed quartet playing and people slow dancing in the moonlight. The dance floor was surrounded by small tables and there was a bar set up on one side.

Ashlyn loved it. They soon found themselves dancing very closely, hands wandering, and lips meeting. Ashlyn stopped for a moment and pulled away.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Ali whispered.

"Nothing. Everything...everything is perfect, Alex. I just have to catch my breath. You are so beautiful. My heart feels like it might explode in my chest. It's almost too much. How I love you, I mean. It's almost too much how much I love you. Sometimes I can't take it. It's overwhelming."

Ashlyn was leaning into Ali and seemed to genuinely need her to support her frame or she might crumble to the ground. Ali could see that her words were genuine and felt that she too was about to burst.

"Why don't we take a break and get a drink or something?" Ali said and then led her wife to a table and had her sit down. "I'll get the drinks. You stay here and catch your breath." She gave her a kiss and left Ashlyn to collect herself.

While Ali was waiting for their drinks a tall and handsome man approached her. This wasn't anything new for her. Both her and Ashlyn had gotten used to people hitting on them. It used to drive Ashlyn crazy but she had matured over the years and now the only time it bothered her was if the person was being disrespectful toward Ali. She trusted Ali and she couldn't blame other people for trying. Ali was gorgeous. She wasn't just easy on the eyes either. She was the whole package.

The man was not getting anywhere with his advances, of course. Ali remained polite but stern and told him she was happily married and was not interested. Ashlyn was watching the whole exchange and could tell that her wife was getting a little frustrated. Ali was too nice to push him out of the way so that she could return to her table.

Ashlyn decided to be of assistance to her and insert herself into the conversation. She tapped the man on the shoulder and said "Hey man, have you got her number yet?"

He turned around trying to brush Ashlyn off and answered, "Excuse me, I was talking to,..." he turned back around towards Ali, "I'm sorry i don't believe you told me your name yet."

Ashlyn tapped him on the shoulder again. Ali tried to hide her smile and not laugh. "Hey man, I bet you I can get her name and number in less than 30 seconds. Aaaaand I bet you I can get her to kiss me too."

The man was beginning to get very annoyed with Ashlyn. She didn't appear to be drunk, but she was certainly acting like someone who had lost their senses.

"Look," the man sternly said to Ashlyn and grabbed her arm, "I really doubt that you are her type. Please just walk away."

As soon as the man touched her wife, Ali stopped having fun and started to get angry. Ashlyn smiled at Ali to let her know she was okay and looked back at the man.

"Look, why don't you let her decide." She said cooly.

The man let out a breath and gestured for her to have a go at the beautiful woman beside him. He stepped to the side and let her step forward.

"Hey", Ashlyn said quietly.

"Hey," replied Ali.

"I think you're hot." Ash said.

"I think you're hot too." Ali said maintaining eye contact and trying to keep a straight face.

"Give me your digits." Ash said and slapped a napkin on the counter next to Ali.

Ali wrote on the napkin and slid it over to Ashlyn.

"What's your name?" She asked after stuffing the napkin in her pocket.

"Alex." Ali whispered.

"Kiss me, Alex!" Ashlyn demanded and grabbed her suddenly and smashed their lips together.

Ali's face turned bright red. She almost felt bad about the poor guy standing behind Ashlyn with his jaw dropped. Ali hid her face in her wife's shoulder and Ashlyn turned toward the guy and stretched out her hand to shake.

"Hey man, why don't you let my wife and I buy ya a drink for your troubles and for being such a good sport." Ashlyn spoke apologetically.

"Wife?" The man said, still stunned by the scene unfolding before him.

"I told you, I was happily married." Ali chimed in and pointed to her wedding ring.

"Wow, I guess I never really had a chance did I?" he said.

"Yeah, sorry. Not really." Ashlyn answered.

They bought him a drink and started to walk back to the car.

Ashlyn opened the car door for her wife and helped her in.

She hurried to the passenger side and got in.

"Hey Babe, where did you put that napkin I gave you?" Ali asked.

"It's in my pocket, why?" Ash questioned.

"Did you read it?" Ali smirked.

"No Al, I didn't read it. I know your number. It's speed dial 2 in my phone." Ashlyn sarcastically answered her crazy wife.

"Why don't you read it and tell me what it says." Ali said with a smirk developing on her lips.

Ashlyn fished out the napkin from her pocket and looked at it confused. "1203" she read. "What is this, Babe?"

"You asked for my number. That's the number of the hotel suite I rented for the night." Ali told her wife with a low quiet voice.

Ashlyn put the paper down and slowly met her wife's gaze. Ali leaned into her wife and stole a kiss while Ashlyn was still putting the pieces together.

She put her lips right next to Ashlyn's right ear and said, "Our night is just getting started."

Ali returned to her seat, never losing eye contact with her wife. Ashlyn's eyebrows were scrunched together as reality was dawning on her. She looked in the back seat and saw an overnight bag that Ali must have packed for them.

"No wonder you wanted to take your car." Ash whispered and connected with her wife's stare.

As a response Ali laughed and said, "Buckle up, Babe. It's time for dessert."

Chapter Text

Ashlyn rolled over and reached out for her wife, but found empty space. She glanced at the clock and knew that she was out on her morning run. Ever since the 'kids' thing happened, they had to take their daily jogs separately. She kicked off the bedding that was covering her and cursed that it was burning hot so early in the morning. She tried to find a comfortable position but she was having no luck.

She stumbled out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom. She grunted as she looked for something that would settle her stomach. "Why did I eat so many dang hot wings last night?" Ashlyn scolded herself.

She downed the pink liquid and laid back in bed. No matter how much she tried, she could not get comfortable. She knew the kids would be up soon if they weren't already, so she gave up trying to get more rest and checked on her youngest little angel.

"Hey buddy," she whispered into the sleeping boy's ear, "...it's about time to wake up." She rubbed his back and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He rolled into her and snuggled up with no intention to get up any time soon. "Come on buddy. I will make you some pancakes if you be a big boy and get up for me."

Sam opened one eye and sleepily asked, "With chocolate chips?"

"Yes, son. I will make you yummy chocolate chip pancakes. But you have to get up for me, okay?"

Ashlyn started to stand up to leave when she felt a tug on her shirt. "Mama." The boy said and raised his hands up toward her neck wanting to be held.

She lifted him up gingerly, still feeling a little off, and he laid his head on her shoulder, stuck his thumb in his mouth and grabbed hold of her shirt with his free hand. He immediately fell back to sleep.

Ashlyn checked on Lexi, who was already up and talking to her stuffed animals. Ashlyn couldn't be sure but it sounded like she was scolding them for not picking up after themselves. Ashlyn interrupted the one sided conversation "Lex, you are definitely your mother's daughter."

"'What? Of course, I'm mommy's daughter." Lexi said as if she was setting Ashlyn straight.

"I'm gonna make pancakes. Do you wanna help?" Ash asked.

"Can I flip?" Lexi asked.

"Duh, who else is as good as you are at flipping?" Ashlyn answered.

Ashlyn and the kids headed to the kitchen but their plans for breakfast would never be.

Ashlyn felt a sharp pain in her stomach and barely had the grace to set her son down without dropping him. She laid down in the hallway and tried to stay calm for the kids.

"Mama, what's wrong?" Lexi screamed and started to cry. Her reaction caused her little brother to get really scared. He too joined in and tears started to gather in his eyes. Little Sammy didn't understand anything that was going on and all he could do was cry for his Mama to comfort him. Unfortunately, Ashlyn was struggling to breathe because the pain was so intense.

She grabbed Lexi's hand and instructed her between labored breaths to take her brother with her to get her cell phone off the nightstand by her bed. Lexi grabbed Sam's hand and led him to go get the phone.

Ashlyn used this opportunity to crawl to the hallway bathroom and throw up without the kids seeing it. She was successful in her plan for only a few moments because the kids were back before she could finish.

"Mama, I have your phone. Please don't die." Lexi cried.

"I'm gonna be okay. Push down the number 2. You know that number. That will call Mommy."

Lexi obeyed and impatiently waited for Ali to answer.

"Hello, Ash? I'm just finishing up my run. I will be there in a few minutes." Ali said, thinking she was talking to her wife.

"Mommy, hurry up. Mama is hurt!" Lexi cried.

Ali could now hear both of her children crying and adrenaline took over.

She was in the house and at Ashlyn's side in 2 minutes flat.

"Okay kids, let's give Mama some space." Ali led both kids to her daughter's room and told them everything was fine and that she would be right back.

Once the kids were out of sight she ran to Ashlyn, "What happened?" She asked her wife who was on the bathroom floor beside the toilet curled up in a ball.

"I woke up feeling a little sick and then all of a sudden I had a sharp pain in my stomach. It started in the middle but now its more on the right." Ashlyn weakly spoke.

"How bad is the pain, Ash?"

"Really bad." Ashlyn gasped.

Ali knew that her wife was in trouble. Ashlyn was known for downplaying sickness and injuries. She was never overly dramatic about an illness. Ali had no choice but to call 911.

Once she knew an ambulance was on the way, she knelt down next to her wife and told her she would be okay. She kissed her sweaty forehead, told her she would be right back, and to call for her if she needed her.

Ali went into super mom mode. She grabbed a bag and stuffed it with the kids favorite toys, some books, and snacks. She instructed Lexi to put on her coat and to help Sammy with his jacket. She grabbed their insurance information and Ashlyn's UNC blanket.

As she scrambled around the house she heard a knock at the door. She quickly let the EMT crew in and led them to Ashlyn. Ali tried to comfort her wife but there was so much going on and Ashlyn was in such great pain. She doubted Ash could even hear a word she was saying.

She did her best to hold it together for the kids but was really struggling.

"Ma'am. Is there someone you can call to help you?" a concerned EMT asked.

"What?" Ali was in a daze and couldn't understand why the man would be worried about her when her wife, only a few feet away, was writhing in pain.

"Do you want to call someone to pick you up or to meet you and the children at the hospital?" he asked.

"I can call my dad. He doesn't live very far away." She said in a daze.

"Good. You do that now. We are going to take your wife. She needs immediate attention." He said slowly. making sure that Ali caught everything he said. "You will need to drive separately and meet us at the hospital. We can't fit you and your children in the ambulance. Are you alright to drive?"

Ali knew she had to pull herself together. Ashlyn was on a stretcher and being taken into the back of an ambulance. Her kids were freaking out. She had to be strong.

"Yes. I can drive. We will meet you there. Thank you.....Can I just say one thing to my wife?.....Please?" Ali begged.

"Sure, but make it quick."

Ali leaned down and calmly told Ashlyn that she wished she could ride with her but had to follow behind because of the children. Ashlyn of course understood and wouldn't have it any other way, but Ali still felt terrible that she couldn't stay by her side.

"Listen," Ali whispered, "I love you so much. And I need you to promise that you are going to be okay."

Ashlyn held her gaze but was in too much pain to speak. She barely nodded her head but affirmed the promise her wife asked her to make. Ali kissed her and stepped back, allowing the paramedics to close the ambulance door and drive off.

For a short moment she allowed herself to feel the burden of fear in the possibility of losing her love. She allowed her lungs to lose air and still within her chest. She allowed her heart to crack. But the interruption of her children's voices brought her back to a place of strength and she did what she had to do.
Ali drove quickly, but safely, to the hospital. She calmly led her children into the waiting room and asked for more information about her wife. She was informed that she was receiving an emergency appendectomy and if everything was normal she should be just fine.

Ali felt little relief but wouldn't be okay until her wife was safe and near her again. When she returned to the waiting room, she found her Dad there sitting with the kids. She went straight to him and let him engulf her in a hug.

"Sweetheart, try not to worry. She will be okay. Everything will be okay."

...

They had been waiting for two hours with no news. Ali's dad was trying to distract the kids, but Sammy wasn't interested. He grabbed Ali's leg and tried to pull himself up onto the chair she was sitting on. She picked up her sweet boy and held him close. His face covered in worry and fear.

The doctor finally came through the door and gave them the news they were waiting for.

"Mrs. Krieger-Harris?" the doctor called.

"That's me!" Ali stood with Sam still snuggled up against her.

"Your wife is fine. She has been moved from recovery to a regular room. The nurse at the reception desk should have all the information you need."

"Thank you, doctor!" Ali hugged the man and rapidly walked to the nurse who knew the info she desperately needed.

Ali handed her son to her father and asked that they stay back for a while to give her some time alone with her wife. Ali found Ashlyn's room and sat next to her sleeping wife and cried.

She cried all the tears she had held in trying to be brave for her kids. She cried the tears of guilt she felt for not being at Ashlyn's side from the moment she first felt sick. And she cried because she knew that in a moment her entire life could have come crashing down and there was nothing she could have done to stop it.

Ali cried. And then cried some more.

Ashlyn, groggy from the pain medication and anesthesia from surgery, tried to comfort Ali. She heard the cries, but could do nothing to stop the tears. All she could do was wait.

It took awhile for Ashlyn to be able to move. She began to stroke Ali's hand with her thumb. Her eyes still closed, and unable to speak. It was all she could do.

Ali drifted off to sleep to the rhythm of her wife gently stroking her hand. When she woke up she found that her world had not come crashing down around her and that all those who matter most to her were safe.

Chapter Text

"Alexandra Blaire Krieger!" Ashlyn scolded.

"You forgot the hyphen Harris, wife." Ali tried to lighten the mood.

"Alex."

"Ash."

"This isn't funny, Alex. I specifically asked you not to go by yourself. And you snuck behind my back and went alone. Do you know how dangerous that is?" Ashlyn was a mix of angry and worried.

Ali had found a great deal for a brand new car seat for Sam on Craigslist, but it was in a rough neighborhood. Ashlyn told her she would go with her to pick it up later that night, but Ali decided to go earlier that day to get it out of the way.

"Sweetheart, you need to calm down. It's not that big of a deal. Nothing happened and now we have a safer car seat for our son. How can you be upset about that?" Ali was starting to feel upset herself because she believed she didn't do anything wrong. She was being a good mother and managed to save some money at the same time. How could her wife be mad about that?

"Ali, you always do this. You totally disregard me if you think you know better. Well, guess what? You don't know better. You should have listened to me!"

Now Ali was ticked off at Ashlyn. "How can you say that I disregard you? Everything I do is for you and our family. I'm sorry if I don't respond exactly how you want me to when you decide to treat me like a child."

"Expecting you to make a safe and responsible decision is not treating you like a child! It's treating you like my wife, like someone who is important to me and my life." Ashlyn was starting to get choked up. Her voice and body were shaking. "If you can't understand that then I can't talk to you right now!"

Ashlyn grabbed her wallet and left the house, slamming the door behind her.

Ali just stared at the closed door, wide-eyed. She felt terrible. That last little bit about being responsible and safe because her wife needed her in her life felt like a knife through her heart. Of course Ashlyn was being over protective. That's how Ashlyn was with those she loved most in life. That's something that Ali absolutely loved about her wife.

She knew she had not only angered her wife, but also hurt her. She wanted to run out the door, find her, apologize, and thank her for being so wonderful...but she couldn't leave the kids. She decided to clean up, make Ashlyn's favorite dinner, and make sure everything was perfect for her when she got home.

Ashlyn didn't stay out long. She just needed to cool down enough so that the kids didn't see how upset she was. She walked around the block a few times and rehearsed the conversation they had in her head over and over. No matter what, she could not see how it made any sense at all to Ali to risk her life for the sake of a stupid good deal.

Ashlyn quietly entered the house and headed straight to the fridge to grab some water. Ali was at the stove making dinner.

"Hey." Ali offered as a sign of surrender.

Ashlyn just looked at her and walked away.

Ali turned the burner off on the stove and followed her wife.

"Baby, can you please stop for a minute?" Ali grabbed Ash's arm.

Ashlyn stopped, but didn't say a word.

"Please don't be stubborn right now and just let me apologize to you."

Ashlyn remained silent and rolled her eyes. Her jaw was tight and she still refused to look at Ali.

"Baby, I am sorry. I know you're mad at me right now. I promise you I was just trying to be efficient. I wasn't trying to go against what you said. But you were right. I should have waited. Please forgive me." Ali gave Ashlyn a one-sided hug and pulled away.

Ali continued, "Listen, dinner will be ready in about 15 minutes. I made your favorite. I will give you your space. Just know I love you and I'm really sorry. I'm glad that you're my wife and that you want to keep me safe."

"Thank you." Ashlyn replied and for the first time since she had returned she looked up at her wife.

Ali gave her wife's hand a small squeeze and went back to the kitchen to finish up dinner.

15 minutes later Ashlyn found her kids all cleaned up and sitting at the table ready for dinner. Ali had the table set and was just finishing bringing everything out. Ash could tell Ali was really trying to make her happy.

Ash took a deep breath, "Everything smells great." She said. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Ali quietly answered with a small smile. She could tell her wife was starting to soften up.

-------

After dinner the family piled into the living room to watch a movie. Ali had made popcorn and knew that this would be a good test to see how mad her wife still was. There was plenty of room in the living room for Ashlyn to be a part of the family activity while still maintaining her own space if she wanted it. However, normally all four family members would cuddle up on the couch and eventually fall asleep together during the movie. Ali followed her wife's every move with a watchful eye.

Ashlyn grabbed Sammy and sat down next to Ali on the couch. Ali didn't question it. She didn't want to push it. She just pulled Lexi up into her lap and settled into the couch with her beautiful family.

Halfway into the movie Lexi retreated to the floor to spread out. Ali felt Ashlyn move next to her and stretch her legs out on the couch. She laid her head in Ali's lap and took Ali's hand and put it on top of her head. This was her normal signal that she wanted her wife to play with her hair and massage her head.

Ali gladly ran her fingers through her hair and looked down lovingly at her wife.

"So are you done being mad at me now?" Ali asked quietly not wanting the kids to overhear.

"No, I am still a little mad at you. But I miss you more than I'm mad at you." Ashlyn said honestly.

Ali answered her sweet wife with a kiss on her forehead and a soft "I love you."

As if on cue Lexi interrupted. "Shhh! I am trying to hear the movie!"

Both women let out a chuckle. All was right in the Krieger-Harris Kingdom once again.

Chapter Text

Ashlyn and the kids ran through the airport terminal trying to make it to their gate on time. Ash had a carry-on that Ali had packed for them, a stroller for Samuel, and each child had their own little back-pack filled with toys and necessities for the trip. Ali was in LA with Nike shooting a commercial and was going to meet them in Florida for USWNT camp later that night. Ashlyn was a little overwhelmed to put it mildly.

Their trip began with an unusual amount of traffic due to an accident on the way. The two siblings were fighting all the way to the airport causing Sammy to cry for most of the car ride. Once they got to the airport the lines were just too long for the little ones to patiently wait. They were constantly whining and asking Ashlyn for snacks, or asking questions that she simply didn't have the patience to answer.

It wasn't a surprise to Ashlyn that the day was going so terribly. It was a well known fact that the house ran smoother when Ali was home. She was better at keeping things moving as they should. Ali was great at planning ahead and knowing what her children and wife would need before they needed it. This talent especially came in handy when traveling with their children. She was able to avoid fights before the little terrors could even think to get into one.

Ali did her best to get everything ready for them before she left, but she had been gone for a week and there was only so much she could do from the other side of the country. Poor Ashlyn was lacking sleep due to the absence of her wife. The bed seemed way too big without her. She was a great mother and the kids were in the best of hands, but she was exhausted.

Ashlyn and the children made it to the gate to find that their plane was delayed. She let out a frustrated laugh as she found two seats next to each other and plopped the kids down.

"Mama, I'm hungry!" Lexi whined.

"Give me your backpack. There are some fruit snacks in there." Ashlyn said. She took her bag and handed the snacks to both children.

"No Mama! Those are mine. Don't give those to him!" Lexi screamed.

Ash took a breath and calmly but firmly responded, "We share in our family. He will share with you later. You need to act like a big girl and quiet down."

"Mama, up." Sam wanted Ash to hold him and raised up his arms toward her.

"Hold on, buddy." She answered him.

"Mama, up!" Sam whined louder.

"Samuel, you need to wait just a minute I am helping Lexi with her bag." Ash responded. She was ready to cry. But she was too busy trying to keep her kids from having their own nervous breakdown.

Ashlyn finished putting the snacks away and getting Lexi's bag organized. She picked up her son and sat down next to her daughter. As she was trying to get herself and son comfortable, her phone rang.

"It's Mommy! Let me answer it!" Lexi said. She took the phone right out of Ashlyn's hand and answered it.

At this point Ashlyn had had enough. She grabbed the phone back from her daughter and told her wife to hold on.

Ali could hear Ashlyn scolding their daughter for taking her phone without asking.

"Hey Al." Ash said, after she told their daughter to behave and sit still.

"Hey, everything okay? That seemed a little harsh." Ali answered her wife.

"You don't know the day that we have had. She has been misbehaving since we left the house." Ash answered.

"Yeah, but I think it's okay for her to be excited and want to talk to me. Maybe you need to relax a little. She's five. You can't expect her to be perfect."

"Whatever." Ashlyn took the phone away from her own ear and handed it to Lexi. "Here Lex, talk to your mom." Ashlyn was done with hearing about her inadequacies as a mother at that moment.

Ali was shocked. She obviously had misjudged the level of frustration her wife had dealt with that day. Ali decided to try again with her wife. She greeted Lexi with an upbeat and positive tone but promptly asked to speak to Ashlyn again.

Lexi handed her mother the phone and started complaining that she didn't get a long enough turn to talk to Ali.

"What?" Ashlyn said. Irritation dripping from her voice.

"So, I take it things haven't gone too well for you today." Ali answered.

"You could say that." Ash's tone softened and she now sounded defeated.

"I'm sorry, Baby. I wish I was there to help."

"We probably wouldn't even be having these problems if you were here. Apparently, I am a horrible mother who can't even take care of her own kids without having a nervous breakdown." Ashlyn's voice was cracking.

"Hey, that's not true. It's hard on any day to get them to behave when we travel. But it's especially hard while one of us is gone...and even harder when one of us has been gone for so long. I'm sorry you feel that way, and I wish I were there to help you. But I know you are doing a great job." Ali encouraged her wife.

"I'm really not." Ashlyn still sounded so discouraged.

Ali didn't know what to say. Normally she would be there and be able to give Ash an encouraging hug. She felt helpless.

"Hey..." Ali said. "...I'm gonna see you tonight and everything will be back to normal." Ali added with a quiet laugh, "Well, as normal as we can be."

"Yeah, for real. We are so not normal. But I guess it's worth it if I get to spend my life with you." Ashlyn's voice and attitude were starting to perk up. She was feeling much better just with the realization that she wasn't alone. Ali was there even though she wasn't physically beside her and their life together really was beautiful.

...

The flight to Florida was horrific. The kids were scared to death because of turbulence and they were all tired. Ashlyn offered to buy all of the surrounding passengers headphones so that they wouldn't have to listen to Sam cry the whole flight.

There was one impatient man who almost caused Ash to completely lose it. He had made a comment to how the kids would probably be better behaved if her husband was around. When Ashlyn kindly corrected him and said that they would probably be better behaved if her 'wife' had been there he responded hatefully.

These kind of situations always were 50/50 for Ashlyn. She either wanted to defend her family and tell the ignorant person off or stay calm and show her kids that there was a better way to deal with people who believe differently.

This time around she knew she was on the edge and that her emotions were already raw and quite honestly, so were her kids'. She also knew Ali wouldn't approve of her making a scene, so she just rolled her eyes and acted as if the man didn't exist.

The ride to the hotel was uneventful. The kids went down for a nap almost immediately after they arrived at the hotel and found their room. Ashlyn was more than happy to join them. They might have slept through the night, but Ash was awoken by someone entering the room.

"Hey, sorry if I woke you."

"Hey," Ashlyn groggily answered. "If it isn't my long lost wife." Ashlyn patted the space next to her in bed and Ali threw off her shoes and laid next to her wife, cuddling up into her side.

"Look at our sweet angels." Ali half joked, knowing that they had been little hell-raisers for her wife.

"Yeah sure. Angels. Whatever you say, wife."

Ashlyn was done talking. She squeezed Ali tight and kissed her for all the days and nights she didn't have the chance. Of course with their little 'angels' next to them the kiss didn't get too heated...but it didn't matter. Both Ali and Ashlyn felt whole again.

"Hey, next time I hang out with Nike and you deal with the kids, okay?" Ashlyn joked.

"Sounds like a plan, my Love. Now why don't we get some much needed sleep before camp starts tomorrow?" Ali answered.

"I am so down with that. Love you, wife. I missed you so much!" Ash said.

"Me too, baby. Me too."

Chapter Text

"Go Mama, go! Go Mama, go!" Sam yelled, cheering on Ashlyn.

He was sitting on his aunt Tobin's lap and some of the team was watching the keepers finish up their drills at the end of practice. The kids loved all the players on the team but Sam took an extra liking to Tobin. He referred to her as his 'girlfriend.' Tobin didn't mind. He was quite a catch. He was cute, funny and he liked to cuddle. What more could you ask for?

Tobin joined him in his cheer and threw in a few tickles to get him to laugh every few minutes. Whitney snatched one of his feet, took off his shoe and tickled him, as well. Samuel was cracking up and trying to wiggle free.

"Auntie Whit-ey stoooooop." He giggled. Sam still couldn't quite get the 'N' right in Whit's name. He was pretty close to the woman, though. Ali and Ash referred to all of their team mates as 'aunts' to the kids but he only used that term for Whit and HAO. Those two, along with Tobin, were his favorites and all three women loved it.

Lexi, on the other hand adored Cheney, Alex and Syd. They would have make-over dance parties and let her dress up in their clothes. She was in heaven when those three were around. She was currently dancing with Pinoe and Syd while Ali was finishing up with her stretches.

There was a game the next day and both Ashlyn and Ali were set to be on the starting roster. Ashlyn was excited that the kids would get to see both of their mothers play for the national team in the same game. She didn't take any call-up, roster spot, or start for granted. Obviously Lexi and Sammy didn't fully understand the hard work and will to continue on through disappointment after disappointment that had brought Ashlyn to her place on the team now.

For years all she had was a dream that seemed impossible. But she kept on dreaming anyway. Her struggle was not unique to her, of course. Every player who made it to that level of play had made sacrifices and worked their butts off to get there. Every player deserved it. The question was who deserved it more.

Ashlyn was finally starting to see more hopeful amounts of playing time. She was finally hearing her name in the conversation for US keepers to watch. She felt like her professional life was starting to fall into place.

Ali's road was a little different. It was not uncommon for her to be considered as one of, if not, the best right back in the women's game. This sometimes caused Ashlyn to feel a little jealous, not in a negative way towards Ali, but it made her focus on how she just wasn't good enough. She had worked through all of those emotions as she matured as a person and player. She was entering a season in her life where she was just scratching the surface of her greatness as a keeper and team mate.

She was starting to realize that her accomplishments were much sweeter now that she could share them with her wife and children. She almost thanked God that she did have to come such a long way and didn't have it handed to her sooner. The timing was absolutely perfect for her. Her support system was in place and she had 3 of the best reasons to succeed.

She had finished up her drills and was approaching the smallest of those 3 reasons now.

"Hey Sam-Bam." She called out to her son.

"Mama, you did good!" He answered and ran to her.

"Thanks, bud. Did you have fun with Whit and Tobin?"

"Yeah, they gave me tickles." He grabbed Ashlyn's neck and started playing with a few stray hairs. "Mama, you sweaty."

"I know. It's hot out here. Let's go find your Mommy and sister so we can get cleaned up and have some fun." Ashlyn answered him.

...

After practice, showers and naps for the little ones, Ali and Ash took the kids to get lunch with some of their team mates and then went to see a movie. Sam loved popcorn. His small little frame sat in the theater seat with a huge bucket of popcorn in his lap and chomped away the whole movie long. It always amazed his parents how much popcorn he could eat. He usually was a picky eater and barely ate anything they gave him. Ali snapped a picture of her son sitting there with his popcorn and 3D glasses and smiled. She was so thankful for her family.

After the movie, the family made their way back to their hotel room. Sammy was starting to get a little fussy and was ready for his nap. Ashlyn laid him down on the bed and read him a quick story while he sucked his thumb and played with the bracelets on one of her wrists. He fell asleep before his Mama read the third page of his book about trains.

Christie had texted Ali and asked if Lexi would be interested in a play date with her daughters. Ali got Lex ready for that and was gonna drop her off at her fellow defender's room.

"Hey baby, I'll be right back." Ali said as she and Lexi left the room.

Ashlyn sat on her and Ali's bed and thumbed through Samuel's book. She had read it a hundred times but what else was there to do while half her family was gone and her baby was asleep. She turned the tv on but kept the volume muted. She pulled out her phone and scrolled through all her favorite social media sites. After the last week she had taking care of the kids while her wife was away, you would think that she would appreciate the silence. Instead she felt unsettled and wanted to fill the void with anything she could think of.

Ali was only gone for about 10 minutes, but it still felt too long. When she finally returned she found Ash sitting on the bed reading Sam's book.

"Baby, you know that book is supposed to be for our 3 year old right?" Ali mocked her wife.

Ashlyn looked up and smiled. "The story of the journey of this little train is riveting. You could learn a lot from this train. Maybe if you read this story you would know that family and friends are what makes you rich in this world. Maybe if you knew that you would be giving me kisses right now instead of making fun of me." Ash answered matter of factly.

"Oh, okay. I am so sorry. Let me cover your face in a million kisses." Ali sarcastically said and then grabbed her wife's face and gave her the sloppiest wettest kisses she could.

"Ah, you're gross! Stop!"

Ali saw Sam sleeping quietly in the bed he and his sister had shared and said, "Shh! Don't wake up our little prince!"

Ashlyn laid them both down on the bed and kissed Ali on the top of the head.

"So, what are the dinner plans for tonight?" Ash asked.

Ali propped herself up and leaned on her elbow so she could look at Ashlyn face to face. "Well, I was kinda thinking I could take the kids out and spend the evening with them while you take the night off and have fun with some of the girls."

Ashlyn scrunched her face in confusion. "Why would you not want me with you guys?" She seemed genuinely hurt.

"Oh, my sweet wife." Ali said and grabbed Ash's face with both hands. "It's not that I don't want you with us. I just figured after the week you had with them you might have missed being able to have a little fun. I wanted to give you a break."

"The only thing I missed while you were gone was you." Ashlyn honestly said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Ali's heart melted. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

"Hmm." Ash mischievously hummed. "I might remember hearing something like that once or twice."

"Well, let me remind you." Ali leaned down and kissed her wife. They continued kissing for several minutes and Ashlyn started to get worked up. She pulled Ali up on top of her and let her hands explore her wife's body.

"Sweetheart, I missed you just as much as you missed me but we have to stop. Our son is asleep in the bed right next to us." Ali said and removed herself from her wife's embrace.

"You're killing me right now, Alex."

"I know, but I think it is important for us not to traumatize our son. I'm sorry." Ali answered. "Besides it looks like our little guy is waking up."

Sure enough Samuel was rubbing at his eyes and starting to stir. It seemed like the whole universe was against Ashlyn receiving any lovin' from her wife, because right at that moment they heard a knock at the door. Ali gave Ash a quick kiss and got up to answer it.

She looked through the peephole before opening. "It's Tobs and Alex." She told her wife. She opened the door and let the two women in.

"Hey, Alex and I were wondering if we could take my little boyfriend out for some ice cream." Tobin asked.

"That sounds perfect." Ashlyn said. She got up a little too quickly and started getting Sam's stuff together. Maybe the universe wasn't against her after all.

Ali couldn't help but laugh at her wife's obvious excitement. "That would actually be great. Just give us a minute to get him ready for you."

Ali walked over to her boy and picked him up. "Hey Sammy, I'm glad you're awake. Looks who's here to see you." She brought him over to Tobin and he immediately reached out for her to hold him.

"Hey, little dude. You wanna get some ice cream with me and Alex?" Sam didn't hesitate to shake his head yes. He broke out into a big smile and hugged Tobin tightly. He loosened his grip and turned to Ashlyn.

"Mama, I go get ice cream with Toby." He said with a huge smile.

"I know, buddy. What kind are you gonna get?" She asked him.

"Cookies!" He exclaimed.

"That's what he calls cookie dough ice cream, in case you were wondering." Ali chimed in.

"Sounds good to me!" Alex said.

Ashlyn gave them his stroller and a bag full of a few snacks and little toys in case he might get antsy.

They were all set and he gave both moms a big hug and kiss.

When the three of them left the room Ali closed the door.

"So, where were we?" Ashlyn asked while laying on their bed and trying to look as seductive as possible.

Chapter Text

3:14 am. The time was burned into Ashlyn's memory. That is what she saw on the alarm clock on her night stand when she was suddenly awakened. That was the time when her world stopped.

...

Earlier that morning...

1:15 am

Ali was taking residence in her usual spot, snuggled up into Ashlyn's left side. She had her head resting on Ash's chest and one arm across Ashlyn's stomach. She was being held securely by her wife and they were both sound asleep. Neither of them could hear Ashlyn's cell phone.

2:01 am

This time it was Ali's phone that rang. It woke Ash up but she was too out of it for her brain to register that she was hearing a phone. Ashlyn just rolled over towards Ali until her wife was the one holding her. She laid her head down on Ali's chest and immediately fell back to sleep.

2:30 am

Ashlyn pulled herself out of Ali's embrace and sleepily made her way to the bathroom. After she was finished, she checked in on both her children's rooms and returned to her wife's side. She fell asleep without any problem, leaving her phone still unanswered.

3:10 am

Ali groaned and started to squirm. She heard her wife's phone ringing. It seemed so loud against the silence of the night. "How can you sleep through that?" she asked her wife. But Ash just continued to quietly snore against Ali's shoulder.

"Uhh!" Ali groaned. She tried to reach over her wife's body without disturbing her, but the distance to her night stand seemed miles away. Ashlyn felt like dead weight on her. The phone stopped ringing.

3:11 am

This time the ringing was coming from the other direction. It was Ali's phone on the opposite night stand. "You have got to be kidding me!" Ali said as she reached over to answer it.

3:14 am

Ali was wide awake and staring down at her wife sleeping peacefully. She gently kissed her forehead "I am so sorry." She whispered. She gently stroked Ashlyn's face. "Baby, I need you to wake up for me." She bent down and kissed her again.

Ashlyn groaned quietly and stretched out her legs and turned towards the clock on her night stand. She opened one eye slightly and saw that the clock read 3:14. "Al, it's three in the morning. WHY?" Ash asked.

"Sweetheart, your brother just called. He's been trying to call you all night." Ali put a hand on Ashlyn's shoulder. Ash was still facing away from her. She was now wide awake and staring at the clock. She knew whatever was coming wasn't going to be good. She held her breath and waited for her wife to drop the bad news.

"Ashlyn, can you hear me?" Ali was worried. She hated having to be the bearer of bad news. "Honey?" Ali shook Ashlyn. Ashlyn hummed as a response to let her know she did, in fact, hear her.

Ali removed any space between her and her wife by embracing her from behind. She spoke quietly and slowly. "Ashlyn, your brother said that your grandfather had a stroke last night. He passed away this morning. I am so sorry."

Ashlyn didn't say a word. She didn't move. She didn't even blink. She just kept staring at the clock. "Baby?" Ali asked, trying to get some kind of response. But there was just emptiness hanging in the air.

Ali got up and walked over to Ashlyn's side of the bed. She knelt down right in front of her face, blocking her wife's view from anything other than her own sympathetic eyes. Ashlyn finally registered what Ali said and that she was right in front of her. Ash lifted her eyes and met her wife's gaze. Ali reached out her hand to Ashlyn's face. Ashlyn turned her lips towards Ali's hand and kissed it. Her eyes started to glisten. She closed them tightly, trying to stop the tears from coming.

Ali positioned herself back on the bed. She sat against the headboard and put Ashlyn's head in her lap. She stroked her hair and whispered, "I'm so sorry" and "I love you," over and over again until Ashlyn fell asleep.

...

5:15 am

Ali left Ashlyn in bed, hoping she could get some rest while she made herself busy with making arrangements. She had to book their flight, arrange for her mom to meet them in Florida to watch the kids, and pack suitcases for the four of them.

7:30 am

Ashlyn woke up alone in bed. Her eyes were red and her head hurt from crying. It was the headache that brought back the memory of her wife telling her that her grandfather had died. When she didn't see Ali next to her, she decided she needed to find her.

Ali was in the kitchen making breakfast for the family. The children were both at the table eating toast while they waited for their Mom to finish the eggs she was scrambling. Ashlyn made a beeline for Ali. She walked up behind her, put her head on her shoulder, and her arms around her waist.

"Hey." Ali whispered and turned around in Ash's embrace. "How are you feeling?"

"Not great." Ash answered. "Did you tell the kids?"

"I just told them you weren't feeling well. And that we were going to go visit my Mom."

"What?" Ash was confused. She hadn't really thought about all of the logistics yet.

"I wasn't sure if you would want to be the one to tell them. So, I didn't tell them the whole reason why we are flying to Florida." Ali answered.

"We're flying to Florida?" Ash was obviously still in shock.

"I already bought the tickets. We are leaving in a couple of hours. My Mom is meeting us at the airport and will take the kids. We'll head to your Grandma's place after that." Ali had everything taken care of.

"Oh. Okay." Ash said. "What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to eat some breakfast and take a shower. That's it." Ali kissed her wife and led her to the table. She brought her a cup of coffee and kissed her again. This time on the cheek.

"Mama, Mommy says you're not feeling good." Lexi said.

Ashlyn just sorta stared at her coffee and gave a delayed response.

"Yeah, Mommy's right. I'm not feeling too good." Ashlyn looked up at Lexi and could see that her daughter felt bad for her. She gave a forced smile and said "I think I am just gonna go take a shower now. I'm not very hungry."

Ashlyn stood up and was about to leave when she felt Ali's hand on her back. Ali told the kids she would be right back and escorted her wife back to their room.

"I know you might not feel like it, but you really should eat something." Ali encouraged.

"I'm sorry. I can't eat anything. I need to do something. I just can't sit at that table and pretend everything is fine." Ashlyn slightly raised her voice.

Ali placed one hand on each of Ashlyn's shoulders and said, "You don't have to pretend everything is fine, Baby. No one is asking you to do that. Do whatever you have to do to grieve. It's okay. I am here for you. You don't have to be strong. I can be strong enough for the both of us right now."

Ashlyn dropped her gaze to the floor and once again felt tears threatening to spill. "I'm fine." She said as she pulled away from Ali's grip, she headed for the master bathroom. Once inside, she closed and locked the door. She turned the shower water on, collapsed to the floor, and cried.

Ali heard her wife's sobs, but knew she wanted to be alone. Ali couldn't bring herself to leave, though. So she sat against the outside of the bathroom door and quietly cried to herself. She would do anything to be able to take this pain away from her wife.

7:45 pm

The plane was about to land at the airport. The entire trip felt like a dream to Ashlyn. She stared out the window the whole way. Ali took care of the kids and everything else. She knew Ashlyn was mentally checked out. She didn't really mind. Ashlyn was in survival mode, but soon she would have to face the harsh reality. Ali decided to let Ash do whatever she needed to do to get through these next few days.

10:55 pm

Ali and Ashlyn finally arrived at Ash's Grandma's place. They didn't even bother to knock. They figured she was asleep and Ashlyn still had her key. It was the moment Ashlyn turned the key, opened the door, and crossed the thresh hold of the house that it all hit her. She fell to the floor, grabbed Ali's legs, buried her face in Ali's waist, and sobbed. Ali lifted Ashlyn up and helped walk her to the guest room so she could lay with her as she cried.

...

6:02 am

The next morning Ali woke up to an empty bed. She wiped the sleep from her eyes and went looking for her wife. She found her sitting with her Grandma in the back yard garden. Ali approached from behind them quietly and placed a hand on Ashlyn's shoulder to let her know she was there. Ashlyn grabbed her wife's hand and led her to sit in her lap. She sat sideways facing Grandma, and put an arm around Ashlyn. Ashlyn leaned into Ali and rested her head on her shoulder while they drank coffee and talked.

10:06 am

"Baby, why don't you try to get a little sleep before the rest of your family gets here." Ali knew Ashlyn didn't sleep well. She felt every movement of the woman the night before. She was restless all night.

She continued, "You have about 2 hours before people will start arriving. I can help your Grandma get ready. You don't need to worry about a thing." Ashlyn squeezed Ali's hand and did her best to fall asleep.

12:58 pm

The worst part was having to greet every person that walked through the door. None of them had seen Ashlyn in awhile so they all wanted to catch up with her. Thankfully she had Ali there to do most of the talking. She couldn't have made it through lunch without her.

3:15 pm

"So..." Ashlyn's mom spoke up, "...we have to figure out the arrangements for the funeral." Everyone was gathered around the dinner table, including the family pastor. Ashlyn felt like she was being ambushed. She got up and walked out.

Ali followed her into the garden. "Are you okay?"

"We can't just plan a funeral. I'm not ready to say good-bye." Ashlyn said.

"Baby, we have to make the arrangements. It's just how things are done. We can't leave him at the hospital." Ali said. She regretted her words as soon as she saw her wife's face.

"He's alone at the hospital?! They left him there?" Ash was losing it.

"Ashlyn, look at me." Ali grabbed her. "It's okay. You need to breathe. Take some deep breaths." She was genuinely concerned for the health of her wife. Ashlyn looked like she was about to have an anxiety attack.

Ali waited until it seemed Ashlyn had calmed down a bit. She had her sit down and stroked her hand to keep her focus with her. "Baby, are you okay? You need to stay with me, right now. Focus on my words." She calmly said with a slow and smooth voice.

"I'm here." Ashlyn quietly answered.

"Okay, good." Ali gave her a small smile. "Your Grandfather lived a long and happy life. You and your brother added so much joy and love to his time. He would want you and your family to celebrate his life, not stop living your own."

"Alex, he was the closest thing I had to a father. And now he's gone." There it was. Ali knew it was coming. She knew that he was much more than a grandparent to Ashlyn. He was the only man in her life, besides her brother, that cared enough to stick around. He accepted her just as she was and never wanted her to be anything other than who she was born to be.

"Ashlyn, I know how much he meant to you. I know that he loved you so much. I wish that I knew the right words to say to make everything better. I just love you so much!" Ali was crying now, and Ashlyn was trying to comfort her.

"Als, the best thing you can do for me right now is just be here. I am so thankful for you."

Ali held her tight as they both cried.

5:30 pm

The family had finished up the planning and were getting ready to go out to get dinner together. Ali ended up cleaning the kitchen. The family pastor walked in with a bag of trash and got it all ready to take outside. Ali stopped him before he could leave.

"Hey, I wanted to ask you something." She was pretty nervous. She didn't know the guy and didn't really know how he felt about the whole gay thing. She wasn't sure how he was going to treat her, but she thought she would give it a shot.

"Sure," he said with a smile.

"I...ummm...well, I was just wondering. I mean, I figure you deal with this sort of thing a lot. And I was wondering...like...um, what do you say to make people feel better when their loved one dies?" She finally got it out.

"'Well, I have learned that there really isn't anything you can say. People need to grieve. They need to say good-bye. What I've learned is it's not so much what you say but more about you just being there. These days it's a rare thing to find someone who will go through the dark days with you. If you show up when there are no words to say, you say more than speaking ever could."

Ali let out a short laugh. "That's basically what my wife said when I told her I didn't know what to say to make her feel better."

"Oops," Ali thought. "Well, I guess we are gonna find out what he thinks about me and my gayness now."

He smiled and pointed at Ali, as if recognizing an old friend. "You're Ashlyn's wife! I am glad I finally get to meet you."

"Can I be honest with you?" Ali asked.

"I would hope that was the only way you were with me." He answered.

"I really wasn't sure what to expect from you. You're a man of God and I just never know if you guys are gonna hate my wife and I or not. So you're cool about us?" she asked.

"Ya know, I believe that God is love and if I am treating others in any way other than love, then I am not a man of God."

"Good answer." Ali smiled. "I'm gonna go check on my wife. Thank you for your advice and your kindness."

...

Three days later, they had Ashlyn's Grandfather's funeral. The service was beautiful. They spread his ashes in the ocean by their family beach house. Ashlyn was exhausted and ready to go home.

Ali's Mother brought the kids to meet them at a restaurant by the airport. Ashlyn still wasn't her old self but she was getting there. She laughed and played with the kids. She held them tight vowing to give them the love and acceptance that her grandparents showed her.

That night when they arrived back home and after they put the kids to bed, Ashlyn pulled Ali into a tight embrace.

"Alex, I just want to thank you for everything. I love you and I feel so lucky to be married to you. Thank you for loving me back."

Ali pulled Ashlyn even closer and kissed her with all the passion she could communicate. She still couldn't find the words to say to her wife, but she knew that Ashlyn understood.

Chapter Text

The Spirit had just beaten the Dash 2-1 in a very physical match. Ali had been in several tough challenges and Ashlyn took a knee to the stomach and a foot to the face. They both seemed fine, but would probably be sore for the next few days.

Both kids were in the stands with Ali's Dad and were excited to see their parents, and not to mention their Aunt Whitney. Ali headed straight for them so that they could mingle with the players during their post-game cool down.

"Hey guys, did you have fun with Grandpa?" Ali asked while picking up Samuel and giving Lexi a hug.

"Yes!" Sam excitedly answered. "We had cotton candy."

"Woah, that's awesome! Did you tell your Grandpa thank you for taking such good care of you?" Ali asked.

"No." Sam said, not realizing that that was the wrong answer. He was just being honest.

"I did, Mommy." Lexi proudly chimed in and gave her brother a smirk.

"Good girl, Lexi. Sammy, why don't you give Grandpa a hug and kiss and tell him thank you for taking such good care of you." Ali passed the boy back to her Dad and he gladly pulled his grandson into a big hug.

Sam kissed him on the nose and said, "Thanks, Gramps!" This got a big laugh from the two adults.

Ali felt a tug on her shorts and looked down to see a worried Lexi. "What's wrong, Lex?"

"Is Mama okay?" Lexi said and pointed to Ashlyn lying on the ground with a trainer and Whitney kneeling beside her.

Ali honestly wasn't sure. She thought everything was fine, but usually after a game Ash would be shaking hands with players right about now.

"Why don't you two stay here with Grandpa while I go check on her." Ali said. Her father could tell she was worried. He gave her an affirming nod of understanding.

Ali was about to leave but then a little hand grabbed her jersey.

"Mommy, I want to see Aunt Whit-ey." Sam whined.

"You will see her. I am gonna go get her. You stay right here." Ali answered and kissed his cheek.

Ali jogged over to where Ash was lying down. Ashlyn had her hand over the right side of her face and seemed to be grimacing. Whit was still knelt down beside her but didn't seem to be too concerned. This brought some comfort to the worried defender.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Ali asked Ashlyn and really anyone around that would give her a straight answer.

"Ash said she was feeling a little dizzy and her eye hurts." Whitney answered. "Which makes sense since it has tripled in size since we've been sitting here."

Concern returned to Ali's face and she carefully grabbed her wife's hand and removed it so that she could see the damage.

"Baby, are you okay?" Ali asked.

Ashlyn struggled with Ali to put her hand back over her eye. "I'm fine, it just hurts. Especially with the light."

"Sweetheart, it sounds like you have a concussion." Ali said. The trainer nodded next to her in agreement and instructed that she would need to get some tests done to make sure it wasn't too bad.

Ali and the trainer helped Ashlyn to her feet and were ready to lead her into the locker room to get checked out. Ali turned quickly towards Whitney.

"Hey Whit, do you mind hanging with the kids until we finish up? I know your little nephew is especially excited to see you." Ali said and pointed to where they were waiting.

"You got it." Whit said and headed towards the stands to find them.

"Just tell them Ash has a headache and that everything is fine." Ali yelled toward her. Whitney gave her a thumbs up and continued to walk over to where the kids were.

"If it isn't my two favorite little monsters!" Whitney said and hugged the two adorable rugrats.

"I am not a monster. I'm a princess!" Lexi corrected her aunt.

"Oh, I am so sorry. I hope I didn't offend you." Whit joked.

"Auntie Whit-ey!" Sam exclaimed and tried to wiggle out of his grandfather's grip. He reached out toward Whitney and she gladly took him into her arms.

"Hey buddy, I missed you so much!" Whit whispered in his ear and showered his fat little cheeks with kisses.

Sam giggled at the ticklish kisses and answered "Miss you more!"

With Sam in one arm and the other arm stretched out holding Lexi's hand, she took both kids and greeted the many players on the field who were eager to get big hugs and kisses from them.

It took about 20 minutes, but the two married women returned to the pitch. Ashlyn was sporting some sweet shades and had her hand on Ali's shoulder for balance. Sam was the first to see his parents and took off sprinting towards them. Whitney tried to grab him to stop him, but then noticed where he was heading. Sam collided right into Ashlyn's legs and held tight to her left leg with one arm, while raising the other up to signal that he wanted to be picked up.

Ali bent down and picked him up and positioned him close enough to give Ashlyn a hug.

"Hey, bud." Ash said quietly.

"Mama, you played good." Sam encouraged a little too loud.

Ashlyn winced a little bit and Ali put Sam back on the ground and told him to go find his Aunt Whitney.

"Okay!" Sam said and immediately turned around and went sprinting towards her.

Ali used this opportunity to find her dad. She brought Ash to him and asked if he could take her home right away while she signed autographs and took the kids to pick up dinner. Of course he was more than happy to help.

"Make sure you stay with her until I get there." Ali was very protective.

"Al, it's not a big deal. It's just a mild concussion. No need to inconvenience your dad."

"It's not an inconvenience...Right Dad?" Ali said. She looked at her dad for some help.

"Not at all. I am glad to hang out with my favorite daughter-in-law." He smiled at Ashlyn.

"You two are too much." Ashlyn said and surrendered to her wife's babying.

The original plan was to take Whit and Kling out to dinner with the family, but it now seemed to make more sense to have them over at the house for a quiet family night. Thankfully, Ali and Ash had driven the Jeep so there was plenty of room for three adults and two kids with car seats. Ali's car would have been a tight fit.

When they pulled into the driveway, the house seemed pretty dark. Ali reminded the kids that Mama had a headache and they needed to be quiet. Ali entered to find both her wife and father in the living room. Ash was lying in the recliner, feet up and eyes closed. Her dad was watching a muted Sports Center episode.

Ali headed straight to her wife. She could tell she was awake, so she rubbed her arm and got her attention.

"Baby, how are you feeling?"

"Better. The room isn't spinning anymore. I am just a little sensitive to the light." Ash answered.

"Your eye looks terrible" Ali turned her attention to her father, "Dad, you couldn't get her any ice to put on it?" Ali asked annoyed that her Dad didn't think about it.

"She said she just wanted to relax and that she needed it dark and quiet." Her Dad said. He honestly felt bad that he didn't think to ice her eye.

"Alex, it's okay. I think your Dad has gone above and beyond. Chill." Ashlyn set her wife straight.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I am just worried." Ali apologized.

"It's fine." Ali's dad smiled and gave his daughter a side hug.

"Oh hey Dad, we've got Chinese food in the kitchen if you're hungry." Ali said and Mr. Krieger decided to go and partake of the deliciousness awaiting him.

"Don't mind if I do." He said as he promptly left the two women.

Ali turned her attention back to her wife. "I don't know if you're up to it but Whit and Meghan are here for dinner. I told them you may or may not be able to hang out." Ali informed her wife.

"No, I'm good. As long as it doesn't get too loud or bright."

Ali helped Ash up and could tell immediately that she was feeling better. She was far more balanced and didn't need Ali to support her while she walked.

...

Grandpa Krieger spent most of the night playing with the kids outside while the women caught up on all the recent happenings in their lives. Ashlyn was improving by the minute and Ali finally stopped worrying.

Once Ali put the kids to bed and dropped Whit and Kling off at their hotel, she was finally ready to settle down and relax with her wife. Ali did her usual bedroom check and made sure her precious babies were asleep and happy. She finished her check up with her own room and saw that her wife, though a little battered and bruised, appeared to be okay.

"Hey, wife." Ash whispered and grabbed Ali's wrist so that she would stop fussing over her. "How are you feeling? You took some pretty hard hits too."

"I'm sore, but fine. I'm much better knowing that you're okay."

"For real, Alex. I am fine. It's not a big deal. Other than the fact that I have to put my modeling career on hold until the swelling and bruising goes away, everything is fine." Ashlyn joked.

"You're such a dork." Ali laughed. "I think you're the most beautiful face I've ever seen, bruised or not."

"Yeah, right....Now who's the dork?" Ashlyn said and pulled Ali on top of her.

"Uh huh. Nope. No fooling around until you're no longer concussed, missy."

"Fooling around? Babe, I am truly offended. You've got me all wrong. I am just trying to say thank you for taking such good care of me." Ash said as she slipped one hand beneath the elastic of Ali's underwear and grabbed her butt forcefully.

"Oh, I'm sure." Ali answered. However, she stayed right where she was.

"Oh, yeah." Ashlyn said almost sarcastically. "You're the best, Babe." Ash now took her other hand and slid it up her wife's shirt and cupped her breast, giving it a little squeeze.

"Okay, seriously. This can't happen. Don't make me put a pillow between us to keep you from going against the doctor's orders. Keep your hands where I can see them." Ali joked but was completely serious at the same time.

"Whatever you say, officer." Ashlyn placed both hands up in a sign of surrender. But her eyes were saying something completely different.

"Don't look at me like that!" Ali scolded.

"How am I looking at you?" Ashlyn smirked. She had her wife right where she wanted her.

"You're being all sexy. Stop!"

"Hmm, I think that's the first time you have ever told me to dial back the sexy. What's the matter? Too hot for ya?"

"Yes, that's exactly it. It has nothing to do with the fact that you have a concussion and I am trying to be a good wife. Now, cut it out. I'm serious!"

"Fine!" Ashlyn groaned and pushed Ali off of her and turned on her side away from Ali.

"Oh, are you gonna ice me out now? Is that your plan?" Ali asked and was given the silent treatment in response. So Ali answered her wife with a nudge of her knee to Ash's butt. "Stop being stubborn and give me some cuddles."

Ash let out a loud breath and turned around with a sad face. It was all for show, but she was trying to make a point.

"Are you going to be nice to me, " she asked Ali, "...or are you gonna reject my love?"

Ali couldn't help but shake her head and laugh. "You're the one rejecting my love by not letting me take care of you." Ali took Ash's face in her hands carefully and said, "How about if we make a deal? You obey the doctor's orders and when you are all healed up I will make it worth your while." Ali bargained.

"Worth my while." Ash's face softened. "What does that mean exactly?"

"Well, I might be able to arrange an entire day with just the two of us, no kids, no worries about trying to be quick or quiet." Ali answered. "A whole day...me, you...with nothing to do but..."

Ash interrupted. "Can we be naked the whole day?"

Ali laughed. "If that's what you think 'making it worth your while' means."

"Ohhh." Ash whispered. "Deal!" She stuck out her hand and Ali shook it.

"Now can we cuddle, please?" Ali asked her very happy wife.

"Whatever you say, doctor." Ash answered with a salute and pulled her wife into her side and held her tight. Ali couldn't see it but her wife was smiling from ear to ear.

Ash couldn't see Ali's face, but her wife's face matched her own. Ali was quite happy with the way she was able to handle her wife. And she was more than happy to give her now compliant patient the reward she deserved once she was healthy enough to thoroughly enjoy it.

Chapter Text

"17, 18, 19, 20. Ready or not, here I come!" Lexi counted as Ashlyn, Ali, and Sam found their hiding spots. Without fail, Sam always followed Ash where ever she would try to hide. It all worked out because when it was his turn to count he needed help anyway. So it made sense that he would have someone with him. Ash and Sam embraced their partnership and called themselves, 'Team Awesome' and vowed that they would one day be declared the Hide-n-Seek champions of the world.

Samuel was by far the loudest of the four and it usually didn't take long for his hiding spot to be found out. He had already been found 4 times since the game started 20 minutes ago and he was about to give his and his Mama's hiding spot away now.

Ashlyn, however, had other plans. They were hiding behind a curtain that reached to the floor when she was tired of losing and decided to take matters into her own hands. Well, more like, she took Sam's mouth into her own hands. She pulled her son into her body with one hand and covered up his mouth with the other. She was willing to do just about anything to win at this point. She was tired of all the trash talk from her wife.

Though Ashlyn's intentions were good, her actions were not interpreted as such. Sammy tried to wiggle from her grip, bit down on her hand, and hit her in the stomach with his little elbow. It ended up with Ashlyn being the one who gave away their hiding place this round.

"Ouch! Samuel, what is your problem?" Ashlyn yelled at her son.

Sam started crying and yelled out for Ali. "Mommy!" His sniffles continued as Ashlyn tried to grab his arm and get him to explain his violent actions.

At the sound of her son crying for her, Ali immediately scooped him up and held him. She looked at Ashlyn accusingly. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything?" Ash defended herself, but Ali seemed set on comforting her son and punishing her wife.

"Then why is he crying?"

"I don't know. We were hiding and then he bit me and hit me in the stomach. How am I the bad guy here?" Ashlyn was upset that her usually sweet and affectionate son had just tried to physically hurt her.

"Well, something caused him to act like that. What did you do?" Ali looked at her with a suspicious and angry eye.

"Nothing!" Ash couldn't believe that her wife was acting this way towards her.

Finally, Sam had caught his breath and wanted to get his Mama in trouble. "She scared me and hurt my mouth." He accused.

"I did not." Ash said. "I just covered up his mouth with my hand because he was being loud. It did not hurt him." Ash was stating her case like a teenager in trouble with her parents.

Ali let out a frustrated breath and set their son down. "Sammy, Mama didn't mean to hurt you." She looked up at Ash with a dirty look. "You shouldn't have bitten her and hit her. Tell her you're sorry."

"No!" Sam yelled and ran away.

"Samuel Christopher, stop right there!" Ali sternly yelled.

He froze in his tracks. It was a rare thing for Ali to yell at him and the fact that she 'middle named' him showed him that she meant business.

Sam immediately turned around and started crying. "Mommy, I sorry!"

"I'm not the one you need to say sorry to." Ali said and pointed to Ashlyn.

Ashlyn honestly felt bad for the boy. Ali's frustration with her had boiled over and spilled onto their very sensitive 3 year old. She kneeled down to get eye level with the boy.

"I'm sorry I scared you, Sam. I was just trying to keep you quiet so Lexi wouldn't find us. I really am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Ashlyn softly said.

Sammy went straight for her and dug his head into her chest. Through his muffled sniffles Ashlyn heard him apologize. "I sorry, Mama. Love you." Ash lifted him up in her arms and whispered that she loved him too. He grabbed onto her neck and laid his head down on her shoulder.

Ali declared the game over and suggested that they find something to watch from their extensive family movie collection. She knew her wife and son needed some cuddle time to recover from their traumatic hide-n-seek experience.

Lexi was not a happy little diva. "Mommy, I was gonna win!"

"Baby, I'm sorry but we are done playing. We can play again some other time." Ali responded.

"I don't want to watch a movie. I want to play hide-n-seek." The little girl was not a fan of her brother getting so much attention. In her mind, he was always the center of attention and he was way too sensitive.

"I am sorry but we are done playing. We can do your nails while we watch tv. Why don't you go get the nail polish bag."

This seemed to appease the girl and she excitedly ran to her room to get her manicure kit. Her Mommy was her favorite person to be extra girly with.

Ali knew she still had to settle things with her wife, so she walked to Ash's favorite recliner where she was holding Sam close. "Hey, baby." Ali whispered as she played with a strand of Ash's hair. "I'm sorry if I was too hard on you. I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt our kids."

Ash gave her a sympathetic look. "It's okay. Obviously, I did the wrong thing. I scared the crap out of him."

"At least we know that he can handle himself if he needs to." Ali joked.

"True. That kid has some sharp chompers!" Ash showed Ali the teeth marks on her hand.

"Ew ouch. He broke skin. I'll go get something to put on it." Now Ali understood Ash's response to the boy's actions.

Ali returned and cleaned the wound and topped it off with two of Sam's Spiderman bandaids. She gave it her usual 'mommy' kiss, which got a laugh out of her wife. Ali bent down and gave Ash her usual 'wife' kiss, which was a kiss on the lips. Ash brought her hand to Ali's face and pulled her back towards her for another.

"Mama, Mommy, STOP!" The two women were interrupted by an upset 5 year old princess. "You said we were gonna watch a movie and do nails." The little girl looked accusingly at them, with one hand on her hip and the other holding her nail polish bag. She was not impressed with her mothers' shared affection that was keeping her from having girl time with her Mommy.

"We're so sorry, Lexi-poo." Ashlyn answered dramatically. Ali slapped her teasingly on her arm and went to her daughter to satisfy her need for attention.

The family watched Tarzan and ended up smashed together, with limbs tangled up on the couch. Ali noticed her wife was shaking next to her. She looked over to see her giggling silently. Ali gave her a look that Ashlyn interpreted as a question of what was so funny.

Ash leaned in close to Ali and whispered, "Look," she pointed to her kids. "Sam's butt is right in Lexi's face." She started giggling again. Somehow Sam had adjusted himself in Ashlyn's arms so that his backside was pushed out right next to her daughter's face. "I hope he didn't have any beans lately." Ashlyn laughed. She thought she was so funny.

Ali just shook her head in disbelief at her wife. "You're such a child." She pulled Lex into her lap to remove her daughter's face from Sam's 'danger zone' and away from Ashlyn's temptation of messing with their kids.

...

"Hey Alex, do you know where my gym bag is?" Ash shouted from the second floor of their house. Ali hated communicating like this. She ignored her and waited for Ash to get impatient and come down the stairs to ask again. Ashlyn ended up asking three more times before she found her in the kitchen.

"Babe, didn't you hear me calling for you?" Ash asked.

"You were calling for me? I must not have heard you since you were so far away."Ali answered with a smirk.

"Sure. Whatever you say, Dear." Ash said sarcastically with an eye roll added for effect. She knew Ali heard her. She also knew that Ali hated when she yelled for her, so she didn't push her luck and question it.

"It's in the car." Ali said and finished making the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches she was working on.

"What?" Ash asked.

"Your gym bag. It's in the car."

"Ohhh. Hey, I thought you said you didn't hear me." Ashlyn accused, but received no response from her wife. Ali just waved her hand and threw a banana at her.

"It's time for lunch. Sit down." Once again Ashlyn didn't push it. She was more amused at her wife's antics than anything else. "Can you let the kids know lunch is ready?" Ali asked.

"Do you want me to yell and call them or..." Ash busted out laughing.

"You're so hilarious." Ali said with an unamused tone. "I think you can figure out the proper way to call our children."

Ashlyn gave a smile. "Hey kids," she yelled while maintaining eye contact with her wife, "it's time for lunch!"

The kids came running in. Little Sam slid across the kitchen floor in his socks, making swoosh noises while holding his arms straight out in front of him. Ali intercepted him before he could collide with the wood of the kitchen cabinets and placed him in his chair at the table.

Ashlyn took a big bite of her sandwich and gave Sam a silly smile with her teeth covered in peanut butter and jelly. Sam giggled at his mother and did the same thing back as a response. They both cracked up at each others' eating habits.

Ali rolled her eyes and wiped her wife's face. "You've got a little something dripping, Wife."

"Oops. I'm saving it for later. No worries, woman."

This made Sam laugh harder than ever. He took his sandwich and smashed it against his face saying, Saving for later, woman!" He smacked his hand against the table in excitement.

Ali gave Ashlyn a look that said much more than Ash wanted to hear.

"Okay, okay, buddy. Let's not play with our food." She wiped his face and put his sandwich back together. "And it would probably be a good idea if you didn't call Mommy, woman."

Sam didn't really catch on to what was happening, so he just smiled and played along.

Lexi was not amused with her brother's constant ability to get as messy as possible. She couldn't stand to be dirty. She rolled her eyes and sighed at the entire situation.

Ash straightened up her act and helped the kids eat and get washed up afterwards. After Sam's little outburst she was trying to be the best behaved wife in all the land.

Ali caught up to her wife as she was helping Sam wash his hands and whispered into her ear. "I'm glad Team Awesome has reunited, but you are a really bad influence on our youngest."

"Yeah, sorry about that." Ash apologized.

"It's okay. I love that you two are so close. Just keep your little mini-me in mind the next time you get sassy with me." Ali warned.

"You got it, Wife." Ashlyn dried Sam's hands off and leaned down to whisper in his ear so that Ali couldn't hear.

The next thing Ali knew she was held in a tight grip by her wife unable to escape. Team Awesome began kissing her face and telling her she was the best Mommy ever.

Chapter Text

Ashlyn was standing in front of her bedroom mirror straightening her bow tie when she felt her son's little hands wrap around her leg. "Hey Sam-Bam, what are you doing down there?"

'Watchin' you get ready." He answered.

Ashlyn bent down, picked him up, and threw him on her and Ali's bed. She attacked the 3 year old with an assault of tickles. He giggled until his face turned red and he was out of breath. Ashlyn sat down next to him and put and arm around him.

"So bud, are you excited about your date with Mommy?" Ashlyn asked.

"Yes, we gonna hunt worms!" He shouted. The boy was excited about digging in the dirt of the garden and looking for things that creep and crawl. He had no idea that Ali was dreading it.

"Make sure Mommy finds a big worm for me, okay? The bigger the bug, the better."

"Okay, Mama." Sammy was more than happy to oblige to Ash's evil plan against her wife.

Ashlyn gave him a quick hair tousle and kiss on the head and stood back up to finish getting ready.

"Mama, you look pretty." Sam was watching his mom with a serious look on his face. Ashlyn could see him in the mirror and knew that he really admired and loved her. She turned around and gave him a hug.

"Thank you, Sammy. That means a lot to me. How about if you go find your sister and tell her she looks pretty too."

"Okay, Mama." Sam got up and ran past Ali who was leaning against the door frame listening in on Ash and Sam's conversation.

The women soon heard Sam yell at Lexi, "You look pretty, Lex!"

The boy ran into the girl's room, ran around her two times, and then ran back to his mothers' room.

"I told her, Mama." He said.

His parents, as often happened, laughed at their son's unique way of doing things. Ali sat on the bed and motioned for him to sit on her lap.

"So," Ali said."I heard Mama tell you that we were going to look for really big worms and bugs."

Sam nodded his head and held out his hands to the side as far as they could go. "Yes, Mommy. This big!"

"Wow, that's pretty big. I don't know. Maybe we should stay inside and watch a show about bugs instead." Ali suggested.

Ashlyn watched her from the mirror. She couldn't believe that her wife was trying to get out of date night with their son.

"I'm sure it will be okay. You will have super Sam-Bam here to protect you. Besides, I know he has been looking forward to spending this time with you forever." Ashlyn was laying on a guilt trip for her wife.

Ali just looked at her like she was the enemy. She answered her son, "Of course we will find the biggest worms out there, Sammy. I am so excited to go on a worm hunt with you."

"Yes!!!" Sam did a fist pump and slapped Ali on the hip, as if trying to smack her butt. He got up and ran out of the room.

"What the? That boy is a trip." Ash laughed and looked at her wife.

"Oh yeah, I wonder where he learned to slap my butt from."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Wife. Now stand up so I can give ya a proper slap."

"Haha. Very funny." Ali was not amused. "Are you sure you don't want to switch dates tonight? I can take Lex to dinner and you can get dirty with Sam."

"The point of date night is to bond with our children in a way that they like. Sam and I bond naturally. Same for you and Lex. We are purposely doing things that they want to do." Ashlyn encouraged her wife.

"I know, but it's not fair! You get to take our daughter out to a nice dinner and dancing and I have to hunt for bugs in the back yard." Ali was sulking.

Ashlyn couldn't help but laugh. Just picturing her Princess wife crawling in the dirt with a flashlight was enough to send her into hysterics.

"I'm sure you two will be the best darn worm hunters in the neighborhood." Ash encouraged.

"I'm sure." Ali replied, feeling sick to her stomach.

Ashlyn held her bent arm out to her wife, "Are you ready to pick up our dates?"

Ali grabbed her arm and allowed Ash to help her up. They first stopped at Lexi's room. Their daughter was seriously stressing out.

"What's the problem?" Ashlyn asked.

"My hair is out of control." She responded with a frustrated look on her face.

Ali swooped in to the rescue. "Here, let me help you." Ali smoothed out all the areas that Lexi was worried about. She made her look perfect.

"Thanks, Mommy." Lex said in relief and looked up at Ashlyn. "How do I look, Mama?"

Ashlyn was so in love with her little girl. She reminded her so much of her beautiful wife.

"I think you look beautiful. I am lucky to have you as my date tonight, little princess." Ashlyn gushed over her daughter.

Lexi's face lit up! That was the best thing that Ashlyn could ever say to her. She wanted to show her mom how grown up she was.

"Okay, you two. Let's get a picture." Ali was like a proud parent taking pictures of her kids before prom.

...

Ashlyn took Lexi to a nice Mexican food restaurant. When she parked Lexi recognized the place and thanked her mom right away.

"Mama, I love this place!" Lexi started to undo the buckles on her car seat when Ash reached back and stopped her.

"Hold on, babe. Let me help you."

Lexi got offended. Ash opened the back door to get to her. Her daughter let her know that she was not happy. "Mama, I am big enough to do it myself."

"Sweetheart, I know. But I always help your Mommy out of the car when we go on dates. It's part of spoiling my princess." Ashlyn answered her.

She helped Lexi out of the seat and stepped back. She held out her hand and said, "Princess Lexi, may I take your hand to assist you?"

Her daughter took her hand with a big smile. When Ash helped her out, Lexi broke her princess diva character and gave her mom a big hug. "Thank you, Mama. I am having so much fun."

Lexi was giddy. Ashlyn was glad that she was able to not only be a part of this experience with her daughter, but to be the reason she was so happy. She felt like bringing a smile to this sweet girl's face was her God-given job in life.

...

Ali was covered head to toe. She had several layers on, ski goggles, and a hoodie with the hood up and the strings pulled tight.

"Okay, Sammy. I'm ready."

"Let's go, Mommy. We have fun!" Sam answered.

"Yep. So much fun." Ali smiled really big, trying to hide the fact that she was truly terrified.

Ali and Sam had several empty jars with holes poked in the lids for the bugs to live in. Ali encouraged her son that it would be a good idea to get sticks, dirt, and leaves and put them in the jars so that the bugs would feel more at home. What Sam didn't know was that this was a huge stall tactic to keep Ali from having to touch anything creepy or slimy.

The two had spent a good 45 minutes looking for things to fill the jars up. Ali knew that her son couldn't wait much longer. "Okay buddy, let's get hunting!" Ali mustered as much excitement as she could.

"Will the bugs be comfy, Mommy." He asked, with real concern in his eyes.

"Oh, my sweet boy. I think they will love their new home." She gave him a kiss and he looked back at her with so much pride.

"We did good, Mommy!" He held up the jar he was holding and smiled wide.

Ali took the jar from him and put it on the ground next to the others. She gave him a flashlight and took one of her own and led him to the garden.

"Now we need to be careful not to hurt any of the vegetables." Ali warned. Ashlyn and Ali wanted to teach the kids about eating healthy and thought a family garden would be a good way to do that. It also was a great family bonding activity for the four of them to do together.

Ali and Sam spent the evening crawling through the rows of the garden and digging up worms. They 'oohed' and 'ahhed' at spiders, beetles, and ants. Ali let Sam keep a lady bug, two frogs, several worms, and a jar of lightning bugs.

Their night ended when they thought they saw a snake. Both of them freaked out and destroyed a tomato plant in the process. It ended up being a suspicious looking stick, but their quick retreat may have saved their lives if it wasn't.

...

Ashlyn chuckled when she saw the picture Ali texted her. There Ali and Sam were lying on their stomachs in the garden. Ali with her goggles and all. At first she laughed at her wife's ridiculous outfit but then she smiled when she saw how happy Sammy looked. He was having the time of his life. Ashlyn showed Lexi and they both got a good laugh out it.

After dinner Ash stuck out her bent arm towards Lexi and let her hold onto it. She guided her out of the restaurant and instead of going to the Jeep she led her for a night stroll through the little town. Ashlyn knew there were a lot of street vendors and found the one in particular she was looking for. She told Lex to close her eyes and to wait until she came back. Ash really only went about 15 feet away and could see her daughter the whole time. She purchased the gift and brought it over to Lex.

She took Lex's hand and knelt down on the ground in front of her. "Okay Lex, open your eyes."

When Lexi opened her eyes she saw her mom kneeling with a red rose stretched out toward her.

"For you, my beautiful little princess." Ashlyn handed her the rose and watched as her daughter's smile lit up the night.

"Oh my gosh! Thank you, Mama! I love it!" She was beyond happy.

"I am glad you like it. It is very beautiful. But it's not as beautiful as you." Lexi gave Ash a big hug and instead of holding onto her arm she grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers.

Ashlyn smiled down at her daughter. "Come on. There's one more place I want to take you before we go home."

Ashlyn walked with her daughter to a street where there was a live street performer. He was standing on a corner playing a classical guitar and singing love songs in Spanish. Ashlyn turned Lexi to face her and bowed down, keeping eye contact with her daughter.

"Princess Lexi, will you dance with me?" She asked charmingly.

Lexi curtsied, like she had seen her favorite cartoon princess do, and took her mother's outstretched hand.

The two danced several songs through the night. Ashlyn thanked the musician and put some money in his open guitar case. They walked back to the car where Lexi had no objections to Ash helping her into her car seat. Ashlyn went to the driver's seat and looked at her daughter in the rearview mirror. She couldn't help but smile. Her daughter was glowing.

...

When Ash and Lex got home they found both Ali and Sam in bed. Lex greeted her mom with a hug and kiss. Before Ali even had a chance to ask how their evening went she answered.

"Mama and me had such a good time. She opened the door for me, and gave me a flower, and danced with me, and I twirled a lot."

"Our daughter likes to twirl." Ashlyn nodded with a smile.

"Woah, good to know. If I ever need a professional twirler I know who to call." Ali said to her happy daughter as she showed off her twirling skills.

"Why don't we get ready for bed, Princess Lexi. All that twirling wore me out." Ashlyn hugged her daughter and picked her up and took her to get ready.

After a bath and a bedtime story, Ashlyn was finally able to join her wife in their room. "So," Ashlyn asked, "how was your bug date?" Ashlyn couldn't help but laugh at her poor wife.

Ali playfully slapped her wife on the arm and told her, "You know, it was pretty great. I loved watching him get so excited. Don't get me wrong, I had to get over the whole gross aspect of it, but gosh we really have a great kid!"

"I loved the picture you sent us. He did seem really happy to be there with you."

"Well, how about Lexi? I think you gave her the perfect date night." Ali encouraged.

"You know, at first I really wasn't sure I would be able to connect with her and make her feel special. But then I realized that I knew exactly what to do. You know how I figured it all out?"

"How?" Ali was was wondering where her wife was going with this.

"Well, it happened when I opened the car door for her and helped her out. I told her that I always open your door and offer my hand to you whenever we go out on a date. Her face lit up. I realized that my whole life had been dedicated to making you smile and treating you right. And I think I've gotten pretty good at it."

Ali was getting a little teary eye when she answered her wife, "Yeah, you really have."

"Ali, I can't even put into words how much I love being the reason for the smile on our little girl's face. I just want her to know what it means to be loved."

Now Ali was full on crying and grabbed Ashlyn tightly. "We are both lucky to have you."

"No, for real. I'm the lucky one." Ashlyn stood up to go to the bathroom and get ready for bed.

Ali stood up right behind her and turned her around to face her. She pulled off her bow tie and said with a smile, "Why don't you let me give you a bath?"

All of the swagger and charm Ashlyn had minutes ago vanished. She was struggling to put words together. "Uhhh...yeah...um...okay."

Ali put the tie back around her wife's neck and grabbed the ends of it. She pulled Ashlyn into the bathroom where they could have their own special date night.

Chapter Text

The room was dark. But not dark enough to where the little boy couldn't see shadows dancing on the walls and ceiling. His breath slowed and his heart beat faster and faster. He closed his eyes in an attempt to make the bad guys disappear, but they were only brighter and scarier in his head.

Samuel threw himself under the bed, looking for a safe hiding place. Hey kept his eyes closed tight as he reached his little three year old arm out from under the bed to grab his blanket. He yanked his Superman comforter with all his strength. He wanted the motion to be as fast as possible.

To him having any part of his body out in the open was an invitation for that body part to be eaten up. He wrapped the blanket around him, tucked his chin in his chest, and covered his head with his arms; hoping he would be safe underneath his Superman safety shield blanket.

He kept his eyes mostly closed tight, but would summon the bravery to open them a crack to make sure he was still alive. He began to hear a tapping sound and knew that this was it. His time had come. Whatever was out there was now crawling towards him and was going to eat him up.

He had no other choice. Though he was a very brave superhero, he needed reinforcements. The creature coming towards him was too big. Too strong. Even under the bed and beneath the blanket he could smell the monster's bloody breath. He had to do it...

"MAMA!!!! MOMMY!!!! HELP!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

He heard a loud bang followed by a bright light and his mother's tattooed arm pulling him out from under the bed. Someone started to remove his blanket and he struggled against the strong hands.

"NO, NO, MY SHIELD!" He screamed. He thought that the loss of his Superman forcefield shield would lead to certain doom.

And then he heard it.

As soon as he heard it, he willingly took his blanket off on his own.

It was Ali's voice whispering to him that everything was okay. He opened his eyes and saw that Ashlyn was holding him tight in her arms. Ali had her arms around him, as well. He knew he was safe.

...

"A popsicle for you," Ali handed a push-up pop to her son, who was cuddled up with his Mama in the recliner. "And an ice pack for you." Ali put the ice pack on Ashlyn's outstretched bruised shin.

The loud bang Sam heard was his mom slamming into the boys play table. Ali was following close behind and thought to actually turn on the light. But it was too little too late for the sake of poor Ashlyn's leg.

"Here, take these." Ali handed Ash two tylenols and then a glass of water. Ash gladly gulped the pills and water. Her leg was dented with a small gash and a pretty nasty looking bruise.

"What are we going to do about these nightmares he has been having?" Ash asked.

"I really don't know."

"I love that he has such an active imagination, but I hate that I feel like there's nothing I can do to help him." Ashlyn was honestly upset at the fact that she was helpless and couldn't protect her son from his own thoughts.

"Baby, there is only so much we can do. I think we just need to be careful with what we let him watch. Maybe all those superhero movies aren't a good idea." Ali added.

"But he loves those movies." Ashlyn looked liked someone just broke her heart. The truth was that both her and Samuel loved superhero movies. It was one of their Mama-son bonding activities they liked to do.

Sammy spoke up from his Mama's arms. "I'm a superhero." He said it so softly that it could barely be heard. Ali could tell that he was feeling bad about being scared.

"You are a very brave and handsome superhero, Sammy." She took his popsicle stick from his sticky hands and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah," Ash said, "you're 'Super Sam-Bam! The bravest hero in all the land.' " Ashlyn had painted that motto on one of Sam's bedroom walls.

Ashlyn tickled his belly trying to get a smile. He did smile, but tried to hide it. Ali saw that he was starting to come around and felt like they were gonna make it through the night after all.

...

Ashlyn took Sam back into his room, just to show him that there were no monsters and that he was just imagining things. The boy refused to believe her because he said he heard tapping noises before his mothers entered the room. They were able to explain away all of the sounds and shadows except for the tapping noise. This was the sound that convinced the boy there was a monster crawling towards him.

Ashlyn looked around the room for any piece of evidence that might explain this noise. Though she wasn't sure the tapping was even real. Her son's mind was very creative. He could make anything seem real.

Ashlyn used to credit herself for her son's ability to create a dream world out of thin air. The two of them would go back and forth playing with invisible cars, trains, superheroes, laser beams, and whatever other fun things they could think of. But on this night she could only blame herself.

No matter how hard she looked she couldn't find the 'tapping' culprit. She carried him to her and her wife's bedroom and put him right in the middle of the bed. In his mind, and probably in reality, sleeping in between his parents was the safest place he could be. To him and his active imagination it felt like he was surrounded by a tower of safety.

Ali entered the room holding a bag of ice wrapped up in a towel. She instructed her wife to lay down and get comfortable. She propped up her leg with a pillow and wrapped up the ice pack around her leg with an Ace bandage.

"Try not to move too much. I know that's basically impossible for you. But at least try." She kissed her wife and then her son's cheek as she got into bed with them.

"How's Lex?" Ash asked.

"She's fine. I don't think our exciting night woke her up." Ali Answered.

"How in the world did she sleep through that?"

"I have no idea."

Ali looked at their son and nodded to Ashlyn to look down. The boy was fast asleep with one hand on Ali's right arm and one grabbing Ashlyn's left.

"Why don't we join him?" Ash said with a yawn. All three slept without interruption through the night.

...

The following day Ashlyn and Samuel were inseparable. Samuel stayed in his mother's arms all day long. Ashlyn felt so bad for her son that she asked Ali if he could sleep in their bed that night.

Ali whispered trying to keep their son from hearing. "Baby, I know you're worried about him, but it's not healthy for him to avoid his room and sleep in our bed. You were the one who told me that when we had this problem with Lexi, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember. But he's so little....and he looks so sad." Ashlyn looked pitiful.

"I know, but we have to show him that there is nothing to be afraid of." Ali tucked a bit of loose hair behind her wife's ear.

"Okay." Ashlyn gave up.

...

That night Ali found Ashlyn in Sam's room asleep on the bed while holding the boy. She wasn't really surprised knowing that her wife was such a softy for her kids, but she thought at least Ash would let her know she wouldn't be coming back to bed.

Ali just went to sleep thankful for her crazy protective wife.

She woke up when Ash came into the room at 2am and set their son on the bed beside her.

"What are you doing? What's wrong?" Ali was half asleep and completely surprised.

"I can hear the tapping." Ash whispered.

"What?" Ali said a little too loud for Ashlyn's liking.

"I heard the tapping that Sam heard last night. You know the sound of the monster crawling towards him?"

"What are you talking about, Ashlyn?" This time Ali spoke with her normal volumed voice.

"Shhh!" Ashlyn shushed her. "You'll scare Sammy!"

"You're scaring ME. Ashlyn, you're acting crazy. You can't possibly be serious right now."

Ali was concerned that her wife believed the whole 'monster crawling' drama and that there might be a possibility that she would be responsible to raise their children on her own once her wife was fitted for a straight jacket.

"Of course not, Alex." Ash said, causing Ali to take a reassuring breath.

"I want to find out what it was so I can show him that he doesn't have to be afraid."

Ali was starting to understand the method to Ashlyn's madness.

"Okay, but be careful. Don't get eaten up." Ali joked.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes and left.

Ali said to her sleeping son next to her, "Your Mama thinks she's the funny one around here. But I am the real comedian." She laughed at her joke and went to sleep.

...

Ashlyn found Sam's bug hunting flashlight in his room and looked around. The tapping had stopped. She sat on his bed and waited. Some time during her waiting she fell asleep. In the midst of the dark room, with flashlight still in hand, Ashlyn woke up to the mysterious sound again.

The sound seemed to be coming from the window. "It's probably just the wind." Ashlyn quietly said to herself. Partly because of her being rational. The other part was her trying not to scare herself.

She carefully approached the window, but noticed that the tree branches outside weren't moving. "Oh crap, I guess it's not the wind."

She took a deep breath and opened up the window. She thought to herself that this would be the part in the movie where she would roll her eyes at the character for ignoring all the warning signs and walking right into danger.

The tapping sound got louder. She closed her eyes and said to herself, "I'm gonna die for trying to be a good mother."

She opened her eyes and looked down towards the tapping. She gasped.

....

Ashlyn ran out of the room, down the stairs, out the front door, and found the source of the noise that had terrified her son. And if she was honest it terrified her a little bit too.

She bent down and placed her hand out. Her hand was covered with puppy kisses. She had found a golden retriever puppy. The little dog was cold and hungry. Ashlyn's big heart exploded. She knew she had to be careful with her new friend.

What if he belonged to someone? What if her wife hated the idea of a dog? What if the kids fell in love and for some reason the little guy got taken away?

She was trying to be a responsible, clear thinking, rational adult. But she was falling in love more and more by the second. She brought the puppy inside and gave him some water. She looked for a collar or tags but there was nothing. She brought him to the living room floor and laid down flat so that she could play with him. She got close to his head so that she could talk to him and they could give each other kisses.

After about 20 minutes of puppy play, she found her way to her bedroom. She sat down next to her wife and nudged her awake.

"Hey." Ali grunted. She smiled as she remembered her joke from before. "Did you find that monster?"

"Um, yeah. Actually, I did." She answered.

Ali was still a little out of it but she knew her wife had said something crazy again.

"What was that now?" Ali asked.

"I said I found the monster. Come downstairs and I'll show you."

"Be serious, Ash. It's so late. Please. I'm tired."

"Just come on." Ashlyn picked up her wife and threw her over her shoulder.

"Ashlyn Michelle, put me down." Ali smacked her on the back several times to get her attention.

As usual, Ashlyn did as her wife asked and set her down. They walked down the steps and approached the living room.

Ashlyn was so excited to show her wife the surprise she found. She was ready to burst with excitement. Ali was still trying to wake up until she stepped in a puddle. She looked down. Looked up at her wife. Her eyes squinted and brow furrowed, trying to figure out what the heck was going on. It didn't take long for her to figure it out when her wife was greeted by a very happy puppy.

"Are you kidding me?" Ali asked her wife.

"This little guy was scratching and jumping up against the side of the house underneath Sam's window."

Ali was still confused. She looked at her wife and the dog skeptically. She reached out her hand and patted him on the head twice. She pulled her hand back and looked up at her wife and shook her head no.

"Come on, can we keep him?" Ash asked.

"We don't know anything about this dog. How do you know that there isn't a family out there worried about where their new puppy is?"

"I can put up flyers with his picture and pass them out in the neighborhood. But until someone claims him he's all alone. Look at him, Ali. He's all alone." Ashlyn held the dogs face right up to Ali and made sure his big sad eyes were up front and center. Ashlyn's eyes matched the dog's and were filled with sadness.

"Ash, what are you doing to me?" Ali looked down at the dog and pulled him in close to her.

Ashlyn knew Ali's heart was huge, especially for those who needed love and were alone. She knew she already won the discussion before Ali said another word.

"Okay, we'll give it a try. But we already have a hard enough time balancing taking care of our kids and work."

Ashlyn smiled wide, kissed Ali and their new addition.

"I'm gonna go get dog supplies." Ashlyn said.

'Where are you gonna find a place that's open this time of night?"

"I'll find a place. Don't you worry"

...

The next morning the women had worked out a plan on how to introduce the children to their new bundle of joy.

They sat the kids down at the breakfast table and Ashlyn brought up Sam's nightmare two night's before.

"So, Mr. Sam. I wanted to talk to you about what scared you the other night. Do you remember what it was?"

Sam looked down and got really quiet. "Bad sound scared me."

Ashlyn gave his shoulder a squeeze and he looked back up at her.

"You know, it's okay to be scared. But sometimes the things that scare us the most are the best kind of things." Ash said.

Sam was confused. He had no idea what his mother was talking about.

"I found out what was making that scary noise. Als, can you bring over the box?"

Ali set the box on the table and pulled out the puppy. Both children were ecstatic.

"Mommy, can we keep it?" Lexi asked Ali. Even she knew it was Ali who would be making the final decision.

Ashlyn laughed at her daughter's question.

Ali answered, "It depends. We don't know if he already has a family. But...maybe."

Lexi clapped her hands.

"Sammy, I think we should call him Monster." Ashlyn smiled.

Sammy's eyes went wide. "Is he monster?"

"No, Sam-Bam, he's a monster hunter. He was outside your room protecting you."

"WOAH! WOW! REALLY, MAMA?"

"Yeah, really really." Ashlyn answered.

Ali looked at her wife confused and a little irritated. This was not part of the plan. She didn't think it was helpful to carry on with the monster fantasy.

"Honey, can I talk to you for a minute?" She placed the dog in Lexi's arms and took her wife away from the table for some privacy.

"Look how happy they are. I think little Monster is going to fit in nicely around here." Ashlyn said, smiling like a dope.

"Ashlyn, speaking of 'Monster.' " Ali air quoted the dogs new name with her fingers. "Do you really think it's a good idea to call him that? Our kid is scared enough that monsters are real."

"Babe, relax. Just think about it. He'll have a new best friend that will always protect him. They will grow up together and he won't be afraid anymore because he won't be alone."

Ashlyn continued. "Besides, I had a dog when I was a kid and it showed me more love that any human I grew up with."

"That's very sweet, Ash, but our son isn't exactly lacking in the love department. You had a very different childhood than he will."

"Wow," Ash looked hurt, "are you trying to make me feel bad for my sucky childhood?" Ashlyn started to walk away but stopped when Ali grabbed her arm.

"You know that's not what I meant. I think that you are getting your hopes up about keeping this dog and we don't even know if we will be able to. If we do end up unable to keep him it won't only be breaking our children's hearts but your's too."

Ashlyn could see where her wife was coming from.

"Ash, you're already picturing a long-term future with this dog. We just need to be careful, okay? For all of our sakes."

"You're right. I'm sorry." Ashlyn said and Ali stepped in and gave her a hug knowing that she needed comfort.

They returned to the children and saw Sam stretched out across the table so that he could reach to pet the dog. Both children's faces brightly smiling. When Ali got one look at Sam lifting up Monster's ear and having a full on conversation with him she knew Ashlyn was 100% right. She just hoped they wouldn't have to give him up.

...

After getting the dog his shots, a collar and license, and waiting for two weeks they decided Monster was officially part of the Krieger-Harris family. He fit in perfectly with the family. The only thing different was that now when they went to tuck their kids in at night they had to give two kisses in Sam's room. One for Sam and one for the dog lying loyally by his side.

Ever since Monster was adopted, Sammy's dreams no longer scared him.

Chapter Text

Both Ali and Ashlyn were livid. They had attempted to have a nice family dinner with the kids, only to have it ruined by a clumsy waitress and a homophobic couple dining next to them.

The unfortunate incident with the waitress wasn't anyone's fault. The women weren't too upset about it but when she spilled a drink all over Lexi, the little girl flipped out. Poor Lexi hated being dirty, and having Sam's grape juice all over her new white princess dress was too much for her to take. She had a diva meltdown. Somehow she figured it was Sam's fault since it was his drink. Her accusations caused Sammy to scream at her and cry to his mothers.

This was what seemed to invite the criticism of the table next to them. It first started with the woman telling them to 'control their brats.' Ali didn't take too kindly to that comment and told the woman off. Ashlyn tried to calm her down, more for the sake of the children than the unkind woman. At this point in the evening the woman's husband used a homophobic slur directed toward Ali, telling Ashlyn to control her wife. He went on to say that he could tell that Ash was the 'man' in the relationship and needed to keep her hysterical wife in line.

Ashlyn responded by telling the husband to shut his mouth and be respectful. Apparently, this man wasn't used to a woman telling him what to do and he physically threatened Ashlyn.

He told her, "If you don't shut your mouth, I will shut it for you." He got out of his seat and yanked Ashlyn up by the arm.

Ashlyn went off. Growing up Ash was not a stranger to physical violence. She could take care of herself, even though she tried to put that part of her life behind her.

She pushed the man away from her and told him, "I'm ready to go if you are. Why don't you try to shut my mouth for me!"

"Ashlyn!" Ali shouted at her and pulled her arm to get her attention.

Ashlyn didn't give it to her, though. She just kept staring the man down and cursing his ignorant existence. Ali knew that she had to bring her wife back to a more calm frame of mind. Ashlyn was always good about controlling her anger and not swearing in front of the kids. Usually, even if someone deserved to be told off, Ashlyn would do her best to stay calm and not let things get out of hand.

Well, things got out of hand. The man slapped Ashlyn in the face. She charged at him and they were quickly separated by surrounding patrons and restaurant staff. Everyone who witnessed the event was in support of Ali and Ashlyn, but it didn't matter to Ashlyn. Once she calmed down, she felt ashamed.

No one could blame her for defending Ali and standing up for herself. But she felt that she let an ignorant bully get the best of her. She learned a long time ago that there was a better way to handle things other than with violence. She felt like she failed her kids by letting that stupid guy get under her skin.

During the incident, Ali got up and was ready to go at the man too. People stepped in before she had the chance. So here they were, sitting in the office of the restaurant manager. Ashlyn was talking to a police officer while Ali tried to get the children to stop crying.
...

Ashlyn hadn't said much on the way home. She even asked Ali to drive the Jeep. Once they got home she told Ali she needed some space. Ashlyn sat alone on one of the swings of the children's swing set in the back yard. She stayed out there for over an hour. Most of the time she just stared at the ground beneath her and beat herself up for going back to an unhappier version of herself. She thought that old angry Ashlyn was long gone. She was wrong.

She heard the sliding glass door that led to the back yard open. She didn't even look up when she said, "Ali, I'm fine but I don't feel like talking."

"Mama, Monster help you feel better." Sammy had asked Ali if he could take his dog out to Ashlyn because he knew the puppy always made him feel better when he was sad.

Ashlyn's eyes teared up as the boy carefully put the dog in her arms. She looked down at her son and couldn't believe his tenderness seemed to hurt so much.

"Thank you." She quietly told her son.

"Mama," the little boy took one of Ashlyn's hands and held it, "pwease feel better."

"I will. I just feel bad because I let that man make me angry. I shouldn't have let him bother me."

"He's mean." Sammy answered.

"I know, but I shouldn't have lost my temper. I'm sorry."

"He hit you. He's bad." Sam declared. He raised his fist and made a punching motion.

The little guy was trying to make Ash feel better, but her son's excitement about punching a bad guy had the opposite effect. She knew she needed to continue this conversation when she was feeling a little more together.

Ashlyn handed Monster back to Sam, got up and picked both the boy and the dog up. She brought them both into the house and searched for the rest of her family. Ali was sitting on the couch with Lexi in a little chair in front of her. Her wife was brushing the girl's hair and putting it in a french braid.

Ali saw Ash walk in and gave Lex a kiss on the top of the head and told her she was gonna take a quick break from their 'girl time.'

"Hey Sammy, why don't you take Monster in the kitchen to get some water. He looks thirsty."
Ali said.

"Ok, Mommy." Sam answered and Ashlyn put him down.

Ali gave her wife a sympathetic look. "Do you still need space?" She asked carefully.

Ashlyn gave a shrug as an answer.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Ali asked.

Ashlyn shook her head 'no.'

"What do you need right now, Sweetheart?"

"Maybe a hug." Ash said looking down at her feet.

Ali gave a small smile. "Now, that's something I can help you with." Ali closed the distance between them and brought her wife into a reassuring embrace. Ashlyn took a few deep breaths and squeezed her wife tightly.

"I'm sorry, Alex." Ash said from Ali's shoulder.

"What the heck are you sorry for?" Ali stepped back and took Ashlyn's face in her hands.

"I just feel like I didn't handle thing too well. Especially in front of the children. Just right now outside Sam was pretending to punch that man from the restaurant because he was 'bad.' "

"He WAS bad. I wish I could have punched him." Ali said.

"Don't say that. It's not funny. I'm being serious. Do you want the life that we have created for our family to be a violent one?" Ashlyn was in tears.

"Baby, it was one incident. One stupid idiot. He went over the line. You can't blame yourself. The Police officer said it himself. That guy assaulted you and that's why he was arrested and you weren't. You didn't start that fight. He did. You aren't the one to blame and you for sure aren't the one that should feel ashamed."

Ashlyn sadly nodded her head in understanding. She still wasn't happy with the way things went down. She wished she could have thought a little quicker and had been able to talk her way out of the situation. She never wanted her children to witness her in any kind of violent act.

Ashlyn took Ali's hand and asked, "Do you think we could just sit as a family and watch a movie or something? I think I could use a little cuddle time."

"Of course. Why don't we get changed into some pjs and relax. I'll make us some ice cream sundaes."

"Sounds good. Thank you, Alex. I love you." Ashlyn gave her a peck on the lips and helped Ali gather up the kids.

...

Ashlyn decided to change things up for movie night. Instead of pulling one of the kids in her lap, she situated herself so that Ali was leaning against her front, while she laid lengthwise on the couch. The kids piled on Ali's lap and both the women's legs. Even the dog joined in on family cuddle time. Ashlyn held on to her wife tight and kept her face in Ali's neck for the majority of the movie.

Ali knew that Ash was not interested in anything but finding peace in her touch. She managed to always be holding Ashlyn's hand, or rubbing her leg, or stroking her arm. It took a while, but she could feel her wife relax.

Ali felt Ashlyn's breath even out and heard slight snoring coming from the blonde's mouth. She smiled knowing that Ashlyn was calmed down and able to relax. Ali waited a full hour after the movie ended before waking up her family.

...

"Okay, so yesterday I feel like I was a bad parent and I need to redeem myself today." Ashlyn said to her wife who's head was on her outstretched left bicep. Ali had been playing with the fingers of Ashlyn's left hand for a few minutes, so her wife knew she was awake.

"What are you talking about?" A confused Ali asked.

"I want to teach the kids that they shouldn't fight people. Even if the person is a jerk."

"Ash, you didn't do anything wrong. Why are you taking the blame for that idiot? Quite honestly, I am furious that he hit you. I wish I would have gotten a chance to punch him out." Ali said with anger rising in her blood.

"Stop! I don't ever want you to be in a position where you try to punch a guy. I'm serious, Alex. Walk away."

Ali rolled towards Ash until her head was right on her shoulder and her left arm laid across Ash's chest. Ashlyn turned her head and their faces were less than an inch apart.

"Sweetheart, what happened last night was a rare situation. It's not the norm in our life. It's not something that is part of your life anymore. If that had happened to anyone else they would feel completely justified for standing up for themselves and defending their family. I understand why you are sensitive to this sort of thing, and quite honestly I love your tender heart. But this burden is not your's to carry. Let it go." Ali finished her speech with a kiss.

Ashlyn pulled Ali into her and smashed their bodies together. Conversation could wait. She needed her wife then and there. All of the passion and emotion that had been wasted on anger and guilt, Ashlyn transferred into a desperate need to show her wife that she was her entire world. She wanted to show her that she was her only hope. She was her rock and her strength. She was her joy and her peace. And Ashlyn simply did not have words enough to tell her that. She had to show her.

...

They were awoken about 2 hours later by a quiet knock on the door. Ali did a quick 'skin check' and made sure everything was covered before she called out for their visitor to come in. Both Lexi and her brother were at the door, with a faithful Monster following close behind. Ashlyn was asleep and tucked into her wife's side completely covered by their bed sheet. Ali directed the children to come over to her side of the bed.

"Shh. Mama is still asleep. What's up?" Ali asked.

"Well, Monster missed you and Mama." Lexi answered. It had become normal for the kids to use their new dog as an excuse for everything you can think of.

"Oh he did, did he?" Ali smiled at her children's amusing behavior.

"Mama, okay?" Sam got right to the point of why they were really there.

"Mama is fine. She's just sleepy." Ali answered. "Go wait for me in the kitchen and I'll make you breakfast. Maybe the smell of bacon will wake Mama up." Ali just needed the kids to leave so she could put on some clothes. She didn't want to scar her kids for life.

"Monster wants kiss." Sam said. He wanted to make sure his dog knew he was part of the family.

"Okay, but just one." Ali kissed the dog on it's head and then pulled the boys head towards her lips for a kiss too.

Sam giggled and raced Monster to the kitchen.

"Lex, I could use one of your princess kisses right about now."

A princess kiss, as Lexi called it, was a peck on each cheek. She princess kissed her mom and followed after her brother.

Ali let out a breath. She was being careful not to move to much due to the fact that both her and her wife were completely nude. She let out a soft laugh and pulled the sheet down enough to see her wife's face. She gave her a kiss on the forehead and stroked her cheek with her finger. She admired her wife so much.

Apart from a few of Ashlyn's relatives, Ali was the only person that knew the full story of Ashlyn's past. Ashlyn was a victim of every kind of abuse there is. Because of this fact, Ashlyn vowed to never let her own family ever experience that pain. She would protect them with her whole being. That's why the previous night was so hard for her to let go of. She never wanted her children to see something like that.

Ali got dressed and left her wife to get some rest. She knew it wouldn't be long before Ashlyn would be up and joining them for breakfast, but she wanted her to at least have a few more moments to relax. She looked so completely happy and content lying there. Ali smiled, knowing that she had a big part to play in bringing her wife such happiness.

...

After breakfast Sam took Monster out to the back yard to play. They were both literally running in circles trying to catch each other.

"How is that kid not dizzy?" Ash said staring out the glass door.

Ali walked up beside Ash and put her head on her shoulder and arm around her waist. She laughed as her son, who apparently had more energy than his dog, because now the dog was lying on the ground while Sam karate chopped the air.

"I'll be right back." Ashlyn opened the door and went out to greet her son.

Normally Ali would immediately close the door stating that she wasn't gonna use her electricity to air condition the whole neighborhood. This time, however, curiosity led her to keep the door open.

Ashlyn approached her son as he was doing a flying kick and spin roll on the ground.

"Hey Sam-Bam, can I talk to you for a minute." Ash asked.

"Sure, Mama." Samuel ran over to her and jumped up on her.

Thankfully, Ashlyn had quick reflexes and was able to catch him before either of them could get injured.

Ali laughed at her son from afar.

"I saw your sweet ninja moves, man."

"I'm uh ninja warrior!" He gave a quick chop and mini kick. Ashlyn struggled to keep the wiggly boy in her arms. She could see he had lots more energy to burn so she had him sit on the ground with her and Monster.

"I need you to be serious for a few minutes, okay Bud?"

"Ok, Mama." Sam crossed his legs and took one of Ashlyn's hands. With his other hand he grabbed one of Monster's paw.

"Just remember to be gentle with him, okay?" Ashlyn said as she nodded towards the dog.

"I know, Mama."

"Listen, I wanted to talk to you about what happened last night. Sometimes there are bad guys and sometimes we have to stop them to protect ourselves and others. But I want you to always try to not hit, if you can." Ash knew she was talking to a three year old and he probably couldn't follow all that she was saying.

Based on the confused look on his face, she knew she wasn't clear enough.

"What I mean is, if a bully tries to hurt you I want you to find an adult and tell them what is going on. If there isn't an adult around I want you to ask the bad guy to stop. If the bad guy still tries to hurt you, it's okay to fight back." Ashlyn hoped she said it right and didn't just give her son permission to be a bully.

"And remember," Ash added, "I want you to ALWAYS talk to me or Mommy if you are every hurt or threatened by someone at school or anywhere else. You will not get in trouble. We will always believe you." Ashlyn wanted her son to know it was safe and best to ask for help.

Ali watched the conversation and hated the fact that her wife didn't have someone in her life to have this conversation with when she was little. Ashlyn was the self-proclaimed protector of their family. But Ali was the self-proclaimed protector of Ashlyn and she wasn't going to let her down.

...

Later that night, Ashlyn had woken up to get something to drink and on her way back she checked in on her kids to make sure they were asleep. When she peaked into her son's room, she saw Sammy lying on his stomach on the floor with Monster. He had a GI Joe and Spiderman action figure fighting.

She was about to step in and tell her son to go to bed when she heard the boy speaking on behalf of Spiderman.

"Hey, I don't wunna fight you."

And then he acted like he was GI Joe and said, "I don't care."

And he replied as Spiderman saying "Okay then, take this!" And then he threw Spidey into GI Joe feet first.

Ashlyn laughed, clearly proud of the boy for taking to heart what she said, but still being his 3 year old self and hurling his action figures at each other.

"Okay Super Sam-Bam, it's time for bed." Ashlyn picked up Monster knowing that her son would follow where ever he went. She tucked them in and gave them both a kiss and turned off the light.

She found her way back to her wife's side and snuggled in close. She placed a kiss on Ali's shoulder and drifted off to sleep feeling like maybe she was a good parent after all.

Chapter Text

"Boom! Pow!" Samuel was imitating the 4th of July fireworks display that the family was waiting to see. He was perched up on Ashlyn's shoulders and getting more excited by the second. Ali, Lexi and Monster followed behind them in search for the perfect place to watch the fireworks over the lake.

The family found a good spot to spread out their blanket and set up for the evening festivities. Ali had packed a small cooler with drinks, sandwiches, and snacks for the family. She even included a few snacks and a water dish for their puppy.

Ashlyn and Sam decided to take Monster for a walk and do some exploring. The little boy was way too excited to sit still. Lexi was starting to get annoyed by her little brother's constant movement and volume level, so it was just what the family needed .

Ali watched as her son picked up just about every rock he could find and lifted it up to show her wife. She adored the way that he got excited about the simplest things. She noticed that her other child seemed to be staring at something that caused her some confusion.

"Hey, babe, whatcha looking at?" Ali asked.

Lexi pointed out a little boy who had an artificial leg and was using crutches to walk.

"Mommy, what's wrong with that boy?"

"I don't know all the details, but it looks like he has a hurt leg."

Lexi looked harder at the boy, still confused.

"But Mommy, why does he have that on his leg?" Lexi was talking about his artificial leg. She thought it was something that was put on top of his leg, similar to Sam's Iron Man play armor he had that fits right on top of his chest, arms, and legs.

"Baby, that IS his leg. He doesn't have a leg that's made out of skin like you do." She squeezed Lexi's leg gently to show her what she meant. "So a doctor made him one. That's why it looks a little bit different."

"Why does he have to have it like that?" Lexi's 5 year old mind couldn't quite comprehend the need for it.

"He has to have it so that he can walk. It looks like he still needs to use special crutches, but look at how good he gets around." Ali was trying to explain as simply as possible.

"But Mommy, why does he need it? What made him like that?"

"I don't know, Lex. Sometimes people get hurt or sick. Sometimes they are just born a little bit different." Ali explained.

Lexi pursed her lips and furrowed her eyebrows. She was really thinking hard.

"Mommy, do you think he's sad?" The girl thoughtfully asked.

"I don't know, honey. But he doesn't look sad. He's smiling and playing with his family."

"I think it's weird." Lexi answered. "What if it falls off or something?"

Ali knew her daughter's comments were innocent. She wasn't being hateful or cruel. But she didn't want her daughter's opinion of him being weird to stay that way.

"Lex, do you remember when I hurt my knee right before the Olympics?" Ali noticed Lexi get serious.

"I remember, Mommy." Lexi said and leaned into Ali for a hug. She knew it was a very hard time for her mom.

"Well," Ali continued, "I got hurt because of an injury that could get better with surgery and resting it. Remember when I got my surgery and Mama had to help me get around the house?"

"Yeah. I remember. Mama had to cook and it didn't taste so good." Lexi made a face of disgust as she said this.

"Well, Mama did her best...but yeah, it didn't taste so good." Ali joked. She knew she needed to get back to their conversation before the girl lost interest. "But remember how even while I was on my crutches I was getting better and better and could help more with the cooking and other things?"

"Yeah." The little girl answered.

"Well, sometimes people can get better when they are hurt and sometimes they can't."

Lexi had on her 'thinking' face again.

"Did you think I was weird when I needed crutches?" Ali asked.

"No, Mommy."

"Why not?" Ali knew the girl's mind was ready to go exactly where she was trying to get it to go.

"Because, you're my Mommy and I love you." Lexi answered sweetly.

"My hurt leg didn't make me a different person to you?"

"NO! You're my Mommy. You're nice to me and you take care of me." Lexi answered.

"Well," Ali pointed at the little boy on crutches, "his leg doesn't make him weird, either. He's a normal person with a heart that can be kind and loving too."

Right as they were finishing up their conversation they noticed Monster running towards the boy on crutches. The boy leaned down and gave his hand to the dog to lick.

"Look, Mommy! Monster likes that boy!" Lexi was so excited. "He knows that he's normal and nice."

"That's right. And that's what matters, right Lex?" Ali asked.

"Yep!....Hey Mommy, can we give him one of our poppers?" Lexi asked. Ash got the kids snap pops that made a popping noise when you throw them on the ground.

"Sure, if that's what you want."

The two of them joined the rest of their family who were now talking to the boy and playing with Monster. Samuel was looking at the boys artificial leg like it was the greatest thing he had ever seen. Lexi gave the boy a small box of snap pops and showed him how they worked. Ali smiled with pride at her daughter's acceptance of her new friend.

...

The two families ended up sitting together so that the children could continue to build their new friendship. Monster ended up having a hard time with all the people and the loud fireworks, so Ashlyn zipped him up in her hoodie and held him close to her chest. Sam sat in Ali's lap and Lexi sat next to her new friend. After the fireworks, Ashlyn packed up all their stuff and grabbed a now sleeping Samuel. She gave Lexi the tired pup and Ali carried the cooler and blanket.

When they got back to the house the family was ready for bedtime baths and stories. Both moms were tired so they all piled into Ash and Ali's bed and had a joined story time. Usually Ali and Ash would split up and have 2 separate stories in each child's room. Tonight Ali read a few pages of the story about the little prince and noticed that all three of her loves, plus one very cute puppy, were fast asleep. She reached over to her night stand, set the book down, and turned off the light.

...

The next morning Ash woke up with a foot to the face. As usual, little Sammy moved around a lot. Ash couldn't really be mad, though. She was the exact same way. On this particular morning, her unconscious son managed to wake her up by kicking her in the face.

"Ow! What?" Ash still had her eyes closed. She reflexively brought her hand to her face to remove the object that struck her nose. She felt a little foot attached to a little leg that could only belong to her favorite boy. With eyes still closed she followed the leg down to a little butt poking up in the air. Apparently her youngest had decided to lay on top of her, which wasn't abnormal for him. However, he also wanted to be near the dog, who was asleep at the foot of the bed. So little Sammy did the only logical thing in his mind and that was to use his Mama's knee as a pillow. Thus explaining Ashlyn's foot sandwich for breakfast.

"Samuel, move." Ash grunted toward her son. He was oblivious. He didn't move. He didn't care. He was probably dreaming about saving the world with a flying Monster as his sidekick.

"Ugh...Al...what?" Ashlyn was out of it still. She doesn't exactly have a vast vocabulary when she first wakes up. That was her way of asking her wife for help. Ali was used to conversing with Ashlyn like this in the morning.

"What Baby?" Ail answered.

"Uhh, Sam." Ash continued.

Ali saw what was causing her wife's sudden distress and laughed. She really did love her family. She moved Sam's legs carefully, trying not to disturb Lexi and also trying to keep her wife from getting kicked again. The boy didn't wake up from the movement but it did awaken his wiggles because he ended up elbowing poor Ash in the stomach.

Ashlyn groaned as a response and just sat up, grabbed her son, turned him right side up and hugged him tightly so he wouldn't cause any more damage. Ali reached over her daughter and held her wife's arm.

"You ok?" She asked.

"Yeah. The kid smashed my nose with his foot. Good thing he's cute." She answered.

"You're pretty cute too, ya know." Ali flirted with her wife.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm going back to sleep now." Ashlyn rolled both her and the boy towards her wife so she could have more contact with her wife's touch.

This small movement made Ali smile. She loved how affectionate Ashlyn was towards her. Even when she was half asleep she subconsciously preferred to somehow be touching her. Ali found it comforting knowing that Ash always wanted to be connected to her in some way...even when unconscious.

...

"Dangit!" Ali almost swore but cleaned it up at the last second.

"What's wrong?" Ash walked into the kitchen just as her wife removed the burnt lasagna from the oven. "Oh." Ash quietly said as she saw the reason for her wife's frustration.

"No worries, we can order pizza or grill out." Ash tried to encourage her wife.

"No worries?" Ali seemed overly stressed. "Ashlyn, this isn't some stupid frozen lasagna. This is my mom's special recipe that I have been working on all day. I even had to make a special trip to the grocery store with two cranky kids and now all you can say is 'No worries.' "

"Umm..." Ashlyn had obviously missed the part of her day when her wife fell over the edge of sanity.

"Umm...That's it? Thanks for that. Maybe you could be a little more helpful around here, instead of leaving me with the kids to do all of the cooking and cleaning." Ali accused her wife.

Ashlyn took a deep breath and didn't say a word. She focused on keeping a calm and peaceful demeanor. This wasn't her wife. This was an evil clone that has taken over her sweet wife's body.

"Ok. What can I do to help?" Ashlyn asked in a monotone voice void of any offensive or defensive emotion.

That pulled Ali out of her Stepford wife state and softened her up right away. Her shoulders slumped down, her eyes teared up, and she fell forward into her wife's chest. Ashlyn held her close, offering the support she needed.

Ashlyn heard a muffled voice, "I'm sorry. You do help us out a lot. I'm a terrible wife."

Ashlyn laughed. "You are a great wife. And an awesome mom, too. You're just having a bad day."

"Ash, I'm having the worst day!"

"Ok. I'm sorry. What happened?" Ashlyn knew that usually when her wife was upset she had to talk it out.

"I stepped on Monster and Sam yelled at me...and now he hates me." Ali sounded like she was a little kid in trouble.

"I'm sure Monster is okay and I know for certain that our son does not hate you."

"I also dropped an entire jar of marinara on the carpet. Do you know how hard it is to get tomato sauce out of the carpet?"

"I bet it's pretty hard, Babe. Where did you drop it? I didn't see any stains. You must have done a good job of cleaning it up." Ashlyn knew that Ali was proud of her stain fighting skills. At the mention of the cleaned up stain she saw Ali loosen up.

"I used my own stain fighting concoction." Ali answered proudly.

"The one in the blue spray bottle?" Ash asked, even though she knew it was that one.

"Yeah. It works on just about anything. It really gets the tough stains out without harming the material."

Ali was back.

Ashlyn now knew it was safe to move the conversation back to dinner.

"Do you want me to grill some chicken and veggies for dinner? I can have them ready in no time. You can relax out on the chair outside and tan that beautiful bod of yours'."

Ali laughed and then got serious. "You wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not. You're always cooking and doing such a great job of taking care of us. You deserve a break." Ashlyn replied.

"You won't think I am a bad wife and mother?" Ali asked.

"I could never think that." Ash answered and kissed her wife on the nose.

"Thank you." Ali replied and squeezed her wife tight.

...

Preparing for dinner consisted of Ash and Sam at their usual place by the grill, and Ali and Lex sun tanning in oversized sunglasses. Ali couldn't help but admire her wife's strong golden freckled shoulders holding up her tank top. The more she relaxed the more infatuated she seemed to get. Every flexed muscle and movement from the blonde made Ali crazy.

She knew that she couldn't act upon these feelings any time soon, but she was anticipating how she would thank her wife later. Nothing was hotter to an overwhelmed mother than a spouse who listened and helped out. This is what was referred to as romance when you're married...and Ashlyn was the biggest romantic!

Chapter Text

"Your wife is a little on the cranky side today." Niki told Ali.

"Ha, is she? Poor thing didn't get much sleep last night. Our youngest was up all night with a stomach bug. Poor Ash is going on almost zero sleep. She's worn out." Ali replied.

"Well, you should have left her home. She's been a little snappy." Niki said.

"I told her she should stay home, but you know her. No one out works her. She pushes herself until she collapses."

"You need to go handle her. She's one grumpy order away from a back line mutiny." Niki joked.

"Hey, I'm part of that back line! Nobody gives up on my keeper. Don't make me hurt you." Ali jokingly threatened.

"Tell your keeper to straighten up, then!"

"I'll see what I can do." Ali said as she left to find her wife.

...

Ali found Ashlyn practicing her diving saves with the goalkeeper coach. Ash put her hand up to the coach to tell him to hold on when she saw her wife approach.

"You've got some grass on your face, wife." Ali wiped off the green blades from her wife's sweaty forehead.

"Thanks. I'll just be a few more minutes and then we can go." Ash told her wife. Practice had ended 20 minuted prior, but Ashlyn wasn't satisfied with her performance so she wanted to get in a little more practice time.

"Baby, I think we should call it a day." Ali knew her wife was exhausted and extra practice wasn't gonna help her any.

"I need a few more reps. I've been a little slow today."

"Sweetheart, you're exhausted because you stayed up with Sammy all night. Extra practice is the last thing you need. Let's go home." Ali put her foot down. She turned to the keeper coach and let him know that Ash's day was done.

"Alex, I need to practice." Ash objected but quickly relented when she saw the look on her wife's face.

Ali was very protective of her wife and could also be stubborn. Ash knew she wouldn't get anywhere if she tried to argue. Ashlyn put her head down and followed her wife to the locker room.

Once they entered the locker room Ali gave Ash a side hug and said, "I heard a rumor you were a little grumpy today."

"I was?" Ashlyn really was surprised by the accusation.

"I think you're perfect, but maybe it's a good idea for us to offer to take the back line out to dinner later tonight." Ali smiled.

"We can have them over at the house if Sam's feeling better." The kids were at their grandpa's house while the women were at practice.

"That's a great idea! Now, lets get cleaned up so we can get you home in time to take a good nap." Ali gave Ash a squeeze and a quick peck on the cheek. This was actually a bit more PDA than the two would normally show one another when they were at work, but Ali thought Ash could use a little extra affection today.

...

Ali let Ashlyn and their son sleep the entire rest of the day. She was sure she could handle getting ready for the evening on her own. The women were used to throwing get-togethers for the team, especially for the girls who didn't have family in the area. It was one way the senior members of the team could take care of the younger ones who didn't necessarily have all the resources that they had.

Everybody knew there was a huge financial gap between the salaries the national team members made and the rest of the roster. Most of the players had to sacrifice a lot to live their dream. Ashlyn and Ali both know how hard it was to sacrifice so much and to be away from family while doing it. That's why they lent their family and home to their team mates as often as they could.

Ali woke Ash up about an hour before the team was scheduled to arrive so that she could wake up and grill the food for the evening. Both Ash and Sam were sleepy heads for most the night but the team seemed to have a lot of fun.

Ashlyn's earlier crankiness was long forgotten as the team family BBQ came to an end. Ali and Lexi cleaned up the kitchen while Ash and Sam snored away on the couch. The two didn't mind. Ali had a suspicion that not only was Sam still recovering, but her wife may have caught what he was fighting. She made sure to wake them both up for hydration breaks, but let them sleep as much as they wanted. She was hoping that with enough TLC the two sickos would wake up feeling as good as new and ready to conquer the world.

...

The next day was a game day. The family was already pretty disciplined about what they ate but they were especially careful on game days. Ali made their usual carb and protein filled big breakfast and noticed that her wife was just picking at it.

"Still not feeling good?" Ali asked her wife.

"My stomach is just a little upset. I think I'll just stick with the toast." Ash answered.

"I can make you some scrambled eggs without all the veggies. If you think you might be able to keep that down. I think it would be better than just a piece of toast if you're planning on playing today." Ali was worried Ashlyn wasn't eating enough.

"I'm definitely playing today. I feel fine." There was no way that a little tummy ache that she got from her 3 year old would keep Ashlyn from playing.

...

The score was tied at 0 and the game was in added time. There were only 3 minutes left according to the official. The Spirit was at home playing Seattle and the Reign were making it difficult to keep the even scoreline. Finally, Syd took a shot from about 5 feet away from Ashlyn that hit her right in the stomach. She managed to control the ball and clear it to safety. Unfortunately, the ball seemed to dislodge whatever was causing Ashlyn's nausea. Ash ran to the right goal post and lost the contents of her stomach.

The final whistle blew as she was blowing chunks into the grass below. Ali caught the very end of her wife's unfortunate messy situation. She ran to her and picked up one of Ashlyn's towels that she kept near the goal to wipe her hands off. She took a water bottle and soaked the towel so she could wipe her face.

Ashlyn took the bottle from Ali and used the water to rinse out her mouth. Ali felt so bad for Ashlyn. This was definitely a first for the keeper.

"Do you think anyone saw?" Ash asked her wife.

"I don't know. Are you okay?" Ali was worried Ash might have another go at it.

"I actually feel a lot better now." Ash answered. "I just hope no one saw."

Of course someone saw. There were loads of fans who sat behind the goal Ash was at. But Ali didn't feel the need to share that observation out loud. She redirected her attention to the great save Ash made to keep the score tied up. Ashlyn took another swig of water and spit it out. She took off in a jog wanting to distance herself from the evidence and put the matter behind her.

The two women headed straight for their children. Ali's dad was with them, as he usually was at all of their home games. Ashlyn gave each child a kiss and told her family that she would be right back. She whispered to Ali that she was gonna clean up a little bit before she had to sign autographs.

...

"Baby, why do these things always happen to you?" Ali asked her wife.

"What 'things' are you talking about?" Ash asked.

"You always get sick. And I always have to worry about you!"

"I do not always get sick. I'm never sick." Ash wanted to set her wife straight.

"Ha, yeah right! Are you being serious right now? How about that emergency appendectomy you had to get 2 months ago? Or the fact that you threw up just today? Or how about all the upper respiratory infections you get because of your allergies that keep you up all night cuz your coughing up a lung?" Ali more than thoroughly made her point.

"Hmm...well, when you put it like that...I didn't realize I was so high maintenance. Do you ever regret that you married me? I mean think about all the things you could accomplish in your life if you didn't have to spend so much of your valuable time taking care of me." Ashlyn said with a sarcastic over dramatic tone.

"Good point. But I guess, since I am actually the truly high maintenance one in this relationship...and when I look at you and our babies I see my greatest accomplishments...I guess you could say it worked out okay." Ali sassily replied to her wife.

"You think you're high maintenance?"

"Heck yeah. I am the emotional one in this family and you are the rock." Ali pointed out.

"I don't think that's true at all. I think you're the rock. I am just barely making it some days. And forget it if you happen to be out of town. Jeeeeeeze!"

Ali thought for a moment and then offered an answer to their debate. "Maybe we are just better together and that's just how it is. You need me as much as I need you and we are both hopeless apart."

Ash laughed, "Maybe. But I think I am the most hopeless of the two of us when we aren't together."

...

Now that Ashlyn was feeling better, the women decided to go out to dinner. They took Ali's Dad and the kids to their favorite pizza place and had a great time. Ali leaned against Ash's shoulder as they watched her Dad play games with the kids. Suddenly she felt a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Uh oh." Ash heard Ali say.

"What is it, Al?" Ash asked.

"My stomach. I feel like I have to throw up. I feel sick."

Ashlyn put an arm around Ali's shoulder and said, "You're so high maintenance. You always get sick." Ali responded by rolling her eyes and slapping her wife playfully on her stomach. Ash just laughed.

"I worry when you're sick, and when I'm the one who's sick you make fun of me. How is that fair?" Ali accusingly said.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Let's get you home so I can take care of you."

...

That night Ashlyn did take care of Ali. She wasn't as natural at it as Ali, but it helped that she had been on the receiving end of her wife's top notch care enough to figure out what to do. Ali was feeling better in no time.

Chapter Text

Ali heard a knock on the door. There was an attractive tall older man standing on the other side of it. He looked somewhat familiar to her, but she couldn't quite place his face. She opened the door and soon found out exactly who he was. She knew all too much about this mysterious man.

...

Ashlyn pulled into the driveway with Lexi and Sam in the back seat. Ali invited her Dad over for some bonding time, so Ash took the kids to the park. She noticed a strange car when she pulled up, but shrugged it off. She thought that maybe Ali's Dad's car was getting repaired and that the one sitting in her driveway was a rental. She was not expecting the car to belong to the man that was currently having coffee with her wife and father-in-law.

...

Ali wasn't unkind to the man, but she definitely wasn't friendly either. Ali's Dad, Ken, was a little surprised at how his usually very sweet and hospitable daughter was treating her unexpected guest. Ali was pouring another cup of coffee for the man, when Ashlyn walked in.

"Honey, we're home!" Ash greeted her wife in a very chipper voice. She carried Sam under one arm and had Monster in the other. Lexi followed behind with her Princess doll she brought along for the trip. She was brushing the doll's hair while she walked. Sammy had both arms stretched out like Superman and made sounds with his mouth that in his mind meant he was flying.

Ali sprung up quickly and gathered her entire family into the living room before they could get to the kitchen.

"Lex and Sammy, I need you two to take Monster and play in the back yard until I come get you." Ali knew she had to get the children out of there before her wife saw their visitor.

Ashlyn knew something was wrong. As soon as the children left she grabbed Ali by the shoulders. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" She asked.

"Baby, I don't even know how to say this." She paused and then worked up the courage. "I'm just gonna say it."

"You're scaring me, Alex." Ashlyn was worried that another family member had died. She remembered getting the call not too long ago about her Grandfather and Ali having to be the one to break the bad news.

"Alex, is it Grandma?" Ashlyn was starting to tear up.

"No. No. No." Ali stuttered. She just couldn't find the words.

Ali took a breath. "Ashlyn, we have a visitor."

"Oh, is that all. Yeah, I saw someone's car out there. I thought maybe it was a rental your dad was driving. Dude, why you gotta scare me like that." Ash had no idea.

"No baby, that's not all...It's your father." Ali finally let it out.

Ashlyn said nothing. At first she was sure that she heard her wife wrong. There was no way that her father would ever be in her house. If by some miracle he ever did come over, there was no possible way that Ali would ever let him in.

Ali could see the confused look on her wife's face so she explained in further detail what happened prior to her arrival.

She explained that he knocked and she sort of recognized him from the old picture Ash had showed her years ago. She told her that he proved his identity by showing her his driver's license and answering questions about when Ashlyn was a young child. Ali told her about how she tried to turn him away but he begged her to give him a chance. If it wasn't for the fact that her own father was there, she would not have felt safe enough to let him in the house. She told her about the awkward cup of coffee the three shared until Ashlyn finally got there.

"Sweetheart, I can tell him to leave. You tell me what you want. My dad is here. He won't let anything happen to you or the kids." Ali assured her.

Ali thought her words would bring comfort to her wife. She thought that telling her she didn't have to worry about confronting her father or about the safety of the children would set Ashlyn's mind at ease....but instead it set her off.

"Where is he now?" She asked in a calm and quiet voice. Almost too calm, Ali thought.

"In the kitchen with my Dad."

Ashlyn walked right past Ali and went straight to find her father. Ali followed close behind ready to support her wife and defuse whatever bomb was about to go off.

"Get out." Ashlyn calmly said to her father.

Mr. Krieger was surprised. He didn't really know much about their history. He just knew they weren't very close.

Ashlyn's father spoke to her for the first time in 20 years. "My little Ashlyn Michelle, calm down. I came here to make things right."

Ash flipped.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! DO NOT EVER TALK TO MY WIFE, APPROACH MY KIDS, OR COME ANYWHERE NEAR MY HOUSE AND FAMILY!" Ashlyn screamed at him.

Both Ali and her father were wide-eyed. Ali heard Sam yelling in the back yard. She stole a glance toward her son and saw that he was just playing with his dog and that both children were okay. She looked at her wife and knew that she was not.

"Honey," Ashlyn's dad apparently felt comfortable calling his daughter by sweet nicknames. This only enraged Ash more. "Honey, I really think you need to calm down. Like I said before, I am just trying to make things right. I am sure your mom has filled your head with lies about me. I'm not the only bad guy here."

Ashlyn looked at Ali and started to laugh sarcastically.

"He must be hard of hearing." She said to her wife but really to her father. "Maybe I should be more clear."

Ali was worried. There was no way that this would end well.

Ashlyn turned toward him and lowered her voice. "I...hate...you." She emphasized each word. "I don't want to have anything to do with you. And I don't want my family to be infected by your poison. Get out, or I swear to God, I will kill you with my bare hands."

Ali put her hand on Ashlyn's hand that had involuntarily made a fist as Ashlyn spoke to her father. Ali pulled on her arm to get her attention. Ashlyn did give Ali her attention and what Ali saw scared her. Ashlyn's face was void all emotion but one. All she could see was rage.

"Ashlyn, I am trying to tell you that your junkie mother told you lies about me. That's why you hate me so much. If you only knew the truth..." He was cut off by Ashlyn's open hand to his face.

Ali jumped in surprise when she saw her wife strike him. This was not Ashlyn.

"Don't you ever talk about my mother. At least she tried to stick around." Ashlyn defended.

"Tried to stick around? Are you joking?" Her dad laughed. "She stuck around because of a court order. It was either appear to clean up or go to prison. She never loved you. She just hated being locked up more than she hated you." He practically stabbed Ashlyn in the heart with that comment.

Ali had enough.

"Get out! Get out now!" She grabbed his arm and when he tried to push her off both Mr. Krieger and Ashlyn stepped in. Ali's Dad took over the discussion.

"Okay, Mr. Harris. It's time for you to leave my girls alone."

The phrase 'my girls' would later be something that would bring Ashlyn great comfort and strength. She would eventually remember that Ali's father considered her 'his girl,' just like Ali. She would then come to know what a father's love was supposed to look like. But for now, it was all a blur. All she could see was red.

Mr. Krieger continued speaking while taking Ashlyn's Dad's right arm and forcefully pulling him towards the door. "If you want to talk to her you can do it on her terms. Write a letter. Make a phone call. Send a basket of fruit. I really don't care what you do. But don't you ever come back here without being invited again!"

He threw him out. Ali followed behind him and made sure the dead bolt was locked. She was fuming, but when she turned around to see her wife, she broke.

Ashlyn no longer looked angry. She looked defeated. She looked like an empty shell. Ali knew Ashlyn's father had just destroyed the last bit of hope her wife had that at least she had one parent that kind of cared about her.

Ash could accept the fact that her mom struggled with substance abuse and that it turned her into an irresponsible parent who sometimes left her kids for days, or caused her to forgot them at the grocery store. She could accept the fact that her mom once offered Ashlyn in exchange for drugs. She didn't want to think about what her mom was 'offering' for Ashlyn to do. But somehow it was okay because she always thought that if her mom could control her addictions then she would choose Ashlyn and her brother first every time. If she 'could,' then she would.

Ashlyn had always rationalized that all of the traumatic circumstances that were a direct result of her mother's bad decisions weren't personal. They were simply a result of bad habits and addictions. She always believed that her mom really did love her. But now she didn't know what she should believe anymore.

Ali ran to Ashlyn. She couldn't get to her quick enough. Mr. Krieger excused himself to the back yard to keep the children company. He knew that 'his girls' needed to be alone.

"Ashlyn, don't you listen to him. Do you hear me?!" Ali sternly told her wife. "You can't believe anything that he says. You know that!"

Ashlyn wouldn't look up at Ali. She kept her eyes toward the floor.

"Baby, will you please look at me?" Ali asked.

Ash answered her wife by shaking her head 'no.'

"Sweetheart, why can't you look at me?" Ali asked very quietly, trying not to startle her wife.

"Because I know I will fall apart." Ash answered.

"Fall apart, Ash. It's okay. I will ALWAYS be here to put the pieces back together." Ali cradled her wife's face with both hands and lifted her eyes up to look at her. "Baby, I will ALWAYS be here. ALWAYS! You will never have to face anything alone again."

Ashlyn fell into her wife's arms and sobbed.

...

After a long night of tears and emotional turmoil, the women were ready to attempt to get back to normal life. Ali's father took the kids to stay the night at his house. Ali offered to make something for Ash, but Ashlyn suggested they order take out. Ashlyn left about 20 minutes later to pick up the food.

What she didn't know was that her father was waiting for her.

...

Ashlyn paid for the food and brought the two bags to her Jeep. Her dad had followed her there and waited for her to open the back door and lean into the vehicle so that he could corner her. He stood too close to Ashlyn. When she turned around she could feel his breath on her. She tried to stay calm. This was the man who beat her so severely as a child that she spent three weeks in the hospital healing from the injuries.

"Stay calm. I'm not here to hurt you." He said.

"What do you want?" Ashlyn asked. Her voice trembling with fear. She felt like she was a small child again.

"I want you to see how easy it was for me to find you and your family. You have, what, two kids?"

"Don't even think about hurting them."

"Ashlyn, you know me better than that. I have a reason for everything I do. Do you really think I care about you or your family? Do you think all of a sudden out of nowhere I got a conscience and just had to make things right?" He was practically growling at her.

He no longer was trying to pretend with her. He decided that being honest about his purpose was the best course of action to get what he wanted from his daughter.

But Ashlyn already figured it out. "You want money, don't you?"

A smirk formed on her father's face. "You are a smart girl, aren't you?"

"How much?" Ashlyn was disgusted.

"$15,000. That's it. That's not too much for two professional athletes, right?"

"If I give you this money, you will disappear forever and leave my family alone?" Ash asked.

"You will never see me again." He promised.

Ashlyn swallowed hard. "Why do you need it?"

"That's not your concern. All you need to worry about is whether or not your children are safe."

Ashlyn appeared to stay calm even though her mind and emotions were all over the place.

"My wife is expecting me. Where are you staying? I'll talk to her and then get back to you."

"If I don't hear from you, I'm gonna assume the worst. And I promise you, you will regret it." He threatened.

"I understand. My wife is the one who handles the money. I have to go through her to get it for you. You will hear from me in the morning."

...

Ashlyn took out the small piece of paper in her pocket that had her father's information on it. After talking to Ali she did the only thing she could do.

The next morning, Ashlyn and Ali drove to the motel where her father was staying. When Mr. Harris saw the women approaching he knew that he would get exactly what he wanted. He greeted them at the door.

Ashlyn pulled out a very thick envelope from her jacket pocket and said, "I will only give you this, if you tell me what it's for. I don't want to fund something illegal that hurts children or anything."

"It's nothing like that. I just got into trouble with some people. It's drug related. Don't worry about it."

Ashlyn turned to Ali and said, "You think that will do it?"

Ali answered, "It's probably a good start."

Ashlyn put the envelope back in her jacket and lifted up both hands.

What her father didn't know was that Ashlyn knew that he was trouble. If she gave him money he would just keep asking for more and threatening her family. Even though she hated him, she didn't want to get him in trouble with the police. But she felt like she wasn't given much choice if she wanted to protect her family.

The signal was for her to raise her hands. The police told her that she just had to get enough information to help the police know where to start looking and they would take care of the rest.

...

Ashlyn watched her handcuffed father be helped into a squad car and knew that from that day on she wouldn't let him hurt her anymore.

Chapter Text

Flashback

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ashlyn asked her wife of almost a year.

"We've talked about this hundreds of times, Ash. This is something close to my heart too." Ali answered.

"I just don't want you to do something because of me. I want you to do it because of you."

"Babe, I get it. These kids need us and I want to help them. I want to love them." Ali said as she took her wife's hand and placed a kiss to the top of it.

Ashlyn had some experience in the foster care system when she lived in Florida. When she was growing up the state took her and her brother out of their home and placed them into foster care until their mother could straighten up.

This was a common occurrence for the two children. They were passed around to different families until finally their grandparents took them in. The worst placements for the two siblings were always when they had to be split up, so when her grandparents finally won custody it was a big godsend to the children. They could finally be together for good.

Now that Ashlyn was grown and had a stable life with Ali, her heart hurt for children who were in the same position she was in growing up. She talked to Ali about how she wished she could take them all in and show them what love really looked like.

Ali absolutely loved this about Ashlyn. She felt the same way. She could see how strong Ash was even after all that she had been through, it made her admire her wife more and more every day.

Ali always had a soft spot for those who needed someone to love them. It was more than feeling sorry for them. It was that she believed that everyone had endless potential if they had the right support system around them. She believed that love and kindness could be the difference that changed a child from being a lost cause to being a world changer.

This belief came from seeing how both her parents supported her and her brother unconditionally. She knew that if her family hadn't stood by them, neither her nor Kyle would be where they were today. She knew this was especially true for Kyle. During his greatest struggle, he could have lost his life, but instead his loved ones stood by him and literally saved him.

Furthermore she saw the difference that a few people, who chose to step up, had made in her wife's life. She knew she was included in that group that changed her sweet Ashlyn's life for the better, and she felt that she may have gained more from it than her wife. She wanted to give someone else what her wife went so long trying to find. A family.

...

A well-dressed woman ushered the two women into her office. She told them to take a seat and offered them her hand as greeting.

"We have finished your home study and reviewed your paperwork, background checks, and applications. As you know there is no shortage of children who need love in this world. That is especially true for our state. So I am very happy to tell you that you both have been approved for foster care." She smiled at them and noticed that Ashlyn was getting a little teary-eyed. This was something that meant much more to her than the child services worker could ever know.

The woman went on, "Now, I see here that the two of you are interested in caring for siblings, if possible. Is that correct?"

Ali answered for the both of them, "Yes, we know siblings have a harder time being placed."

"Yes, that is true and there's a reason for that. Are you sure you're up to fostering multiple children right off the start? That's at least double the emotional baggage."

"We're sure." Ashlyn finally spoke up. "It's not right for any family to be split up."

"Do you have a preference of race or gender? What about disabilities or behavioral problems?" The social worker asked.

"We're willing to take any one who needs us." Ali answered.

"Okay, well, like I said there is no shortage of children who need help. Right now we have a very unique case. Recently, a 2 year old girl and baby boy have been found. They are extremely malnourished and their identity and family history is unknown. We cannot declare them orphans or legally adoptable because we don't know the circumstances that brought them here."

"Where did you find them?" Ali asked.

"In an alley behind a restaurant. They were found inside a dumpster."

Ashlyn drew back and inhaled sharply. The implications of two children who just happened to show up in a dumpster was heart wrenching. She thought she had it rough. Who would try to throw away their own children?

"We'll take em!" Ashlyn said.

"Hold on. I want to make sure you know what we know, so that you can make a decision you and these children can live with." Her tone was very somber and serious.

She opened up 2 folders on her desk, one for each child, and continued. "Here are their pictures. We don't know their names. We've tried to find out names and information from the girl but the two year old hasn't spoken one word. We believe that she has suffered some event that has caused her to have post traumatic distress disorder, and that is why she doesn't speak. She will require a lot of patience and counseling."

Ali covered her mouth with her right hand and held Ashlyn's leg with her left. What she was hearing was simply too much. She wondered if her and Ashlyn were enough to help them. She didn't want to fail them.

"Though we can assume they have no parental interest, because we don't know their history we can't guarantee how long you will have them. It could be a short time if someone steps forward, or it could be that no one ever steps forward and it could last a while. Of course, you always have the right, as foster parents, to end things if it doesn't work out."

The thought of it not working out and returning the kids to child services was what really worried Ali. What if it was too much and ended up hurting her and Ashlyn's relationship? What if they just made the children's lives worse? She couldn't stand the thought of causing these children more pain.

"Listen, I'm gonna let you two think about it. Sleep on it. Take a few days or even a few weeks if you need to. This is an important decision." The woman stood up to signal that it was time for their meeting to end.

Ashlyn spoke up again, "I'm sorry. What is it we are supposed to think about? These children need us." She looked at her wife and noticed she didn't look so confident in their decision anymore. "Al?"

"I think it's a good idea to sleep on it. We'll get back to you." Ali said and looked at her wife with apologetic eyes.

Ashlyn couldn't believe it. Her face dropped in disappointment and nodded. They left to go home.

...

When they got home their house felt so empty. Ashlyn retreated to a freshly painted guest room that they had designated for one of their future children. She sat on the twin bed and thought that maybe it was always gonna be just a guest room.

Ali walked in quietly and sat next to her wife. She laid her head on her shoulder and took a deep breath.

"You changed your mind." Ashlyn wasn't asking. She was stating a fact.

Ali stayed silent.

"It's okay, Al. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. It will be okay." Ashlyn wanted to believe what she said was true. But it would take time for her to move on.

Ali took another deep breath. "Can I be honest with you?" Ali looked up at her wife.

"Please." Ash whispered.

"I'm worried that we will fail them. We have no idea what these children have been through. I mean, what has to happen for a 2 year old to lose the ability to speak? What did that child see?"

"Alex, kids are tough. They'll be okay. We will make sure of it."

Ali let a little smile crack her lips. "I love you so much." She told her wife.

...

The days that followed required a lot of patience on Ashlyn's part. She was committed to not pressuring her wife in what could be the biggest decision of their lives, but her heart was aching to help these kids.

It took two days for Ali to go back and forth second guessing what was best for her, Ashlyn and these two children. But she finally decided it was worth a try.

...

Ashlyn and Ali had them for a week before they decided to give the children names. It made sense to go all in and treat them as a permanent part of the family, even if it didn't end up that way.

Alexandra Elizabeth, or Lexi, as they decided to nickname her, presented a lot of challenges. Her post traumatic stress disorder caused her to be extremely anxious at all times. It took a month for her to warm up to the women and allow them to touch her. Her new parents didn't want to even think about what caused her to fear being touched.

The baby boy, Samuel Christopher, had other problems. He refused to eat. He cried most nights and barely slept. The women found out after several doctor visits and blood tests that the boy had been poisoned. He was given what they guessed was some kind of liquid used for cleaning. It took some time, but he eventually fully recovered and started sleeping and eating normally.

Lexi improved greatly with counseling and constant love from her new parents. The counselor told them that she would probably always be susceptible to anxiety problems but she could eventually learn to control it.

...

6 months later the women received a phone call that would change their lives forever...

"Hello." Ashlyn answered her cell phone.

"Hello, is this Mrs Krieger-Harris?" The voice on the phone asked.

"Yes, that's me. Unless you're calling for my wife, Ali. This is Ashlyn Krieger-Harris."

"I'm calling for either of you, actually. We have been informed that you foster 2 children. Alexandra and Samuel. Is that correct?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"We've been informed by city police that the children are now legally orphans. Their mother has been found to be deceased and there is no record of their father. You and your wife now have legal rights to adopt them if you so wish. If not, we will have to find other means to place them with an adoptive family."

"I need to talk to my wife first, but I am definitely interested in adopting them. But I have to make sure Ali is on the same page." Ashlyn answered.

Of course, Ali was on the same page with her wife, and happily adopted them both. They knew they had a long road ahead of them, but they couldn't picture their family being complete without the two children. As time passed the kids fit into the new family perfectly. They were young enough to forget any history they had before being welcomed into the Krieger-Harris household. Now all they would ever know was love and unconditional support from two parents who thought they were the greatest thing to ever happen to them.

Chapter Text

"Ashlyn!" Ali loudly whispered trying to get her wife's attention without causing more of a scene.

Ashlyn had Sam on her back and was running around the soccer field after Tobin. The team just finished up an open practice in Los Angeles and there were a lot of excited fans waiting to get the players' pictures and autographs. They were crowded on one side of the field yelling out the names of their favorite players.

Ali was trying to calm down a very anxious Lexi. She was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and Ashlyn and Samuel were in their own little world. Finally she just shouted toward her wife to get her to help.

When Ashlyn heard her name from her better half's lips she could tell that she was in some sort of distress. She brought her son and self over and asked what the problem was.

"We need to get our daughter out of here now!" Ali said seriously.

"Here." Ashlyn passed Sam onto Ali and picked up Lex. "I'll take her. Sam can go with you to sign for fans. They would rather see you than me anyways." This was true. Though Ashlyn's fans were much more intense, Ali's fans seemed to be more numerous.

"Take her somewhere quiet and away from people." Ali instructed.

"I know, Babe. I've done this just as many times as you have." Ash answered a little irritated that her wife didn't seem to trust her judgment.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just feel so bad."

"It'll be okay. Now take the boy and go make some fans happy." Ash gave her a little tap on the butt and carried Lexi away in a secure embrace. She had one hand covering her head and pressing it into her shoulder as she whispered calmly in her ear.

Ashlyn walked to the far end of the field away from all the people who had crowded around to get autographs from their favorite players. She gently bounced Lex up and down in her arms. She knew that Lexi usually calmed down better when she was held tight and could feel calm breaths coming from whoever was holding her. She hummed a lullaby type tune in the girl's ear until she could feel her breaths even out.

Once Lexi had calmed down, Ash sat in the grass with her back towards the crowd and had Lex sit in her lap and face away from the people. She purposely had the girl focus on the blades of grass beneath them. The two would pick the grass and study each individual piece. Ashlyn would try to stay as calm and quiet as possible. The only time she would really speak was to make sure Lexi's attention stayed away from the excitement behind them.

After about 20 minutes of picking and flicking the grass, Lexi was feeling much better. She started to flick the green blades at her Mama and smiled when Ash acted dramatically offended. She shifted in her lap and jumped on Ash, wanting to tackle her.

Ali, with Sam on her hip, turned at just the right moment to see their daughter jumping on her wife and giggling loudly. She took a reassuring breath. She was glad to see her sweet little girl was feeling better.

After a few more minutes of autographs, Ali joined Ash and Lex. She took Lex to the locker room and Ash took Sam to sign autographs before calling it a day. All the fans loved having Sam along with his mom. He even got to sign a few too. His autograph was a big S and some scribbles but it really didn't look all that odd compared to some of the other players messy writing. He loved acting like the crowd was there to see him. He would try to copy whatever Ash would say, which translated into him saying some pretty crazy stuff.

...

Back at the team hotel the family was resting up from their exciting day. For Sam this meant using Ashlyn as a jungle gym and for Lex it meant painting her nails with Ali. Once Sam and his Mama wore each other out, they decided to take a family nap. Ashlyn convinced the kids to peacefully share a bed and then pulled her wife into their bed. Ash was drained and there wasn't anything that she needed more than some snuggle time with Ali.

Ali could tell that Ashlyn was emotionally and physically spent. Being a pro athlete was draining enough, but doing it with 2 kids along for the ride was exhausting. Ali sat up against the headboard and let her wife curl up on the bed and put her head in her lap. They didn't need words. They knew exactly what the other was thinking.

Ash knew that Ali was ready to be the strong and supportive one for a while and let her get some rest. Ali ran her fingers through Ashlyn's hair and scratched her head and neck lightly. Ashlyn was laid on her left side, with her head in Ali's lap and stretched her right leg over Ali's lower half. She brought her right arm up to play with the bottom of her wife's shirt. Ashlyn's stress melted away.

The family fell asleep, even Ali who was still sitting up. By the time Ashlyn woke up, Ali had the whole family lying on top of her asleep. Ash stretched a little and adjusted her head. The movement woke up her wife, who Ashlyn swore was smiling even while unconscious.

Ali gave Ash a mumbled greeting. "Hey."

"Hey." Ash whispered back.

'How are you feeling?" Ali asked.

"Fine. Except my back is a little sore. I think that has mostly to do with the fact that there are two children smashing me." Ashlyn joked but was also being completely serious.

They were basically sleeping in a pile with Ali the foundation. This wouldn't be a bother to Ashlyn, who normally loved all the contact, but at this moment she was at a weird angle and the kids were applying all their weight to her spine.

"I'm ready to move anyway. Let me help you." Ali moved the children to the other side of the bed. Ash sat up. Ali leaned into her and rubbed her back while Ashlyn stretched her legs out in front of her and reached to touch her toes a few times. Ash scooted up the bed to sit next to Ali. She put her arm around her and placed her lips on her shoulder.

"Baby, you were so good with Lex today." Ali said.

"I didn't do anything you wouldn't have done." Ash answered.

"I know. I'm just happy I get to go through this life with you. We are so blessed." Ali said and stole a few moments to stare at their kids.

Ashlyn still had her mouth on Ali's skin. Ali could feel the smile forming on her wife's lips. Ashlyn didn't have to answer. Ali knew she agreed.

...

The next day the four decided to have a family day at the beach. They had invited Tobin and Whitney to join them. Ashlyn and Sam were busy burying Tobin in the sand. Aunt Whitney and Lexi were tanning on beach towels, while Ali tried to put sunscreen on her wife and son. Neither Ash nor Sammy were making it easy.

"Hold still, Ashlyn!" Ali grabbed her wife by the shoulder and tried to get her to take a break from throwing buckets of sand on Tobin.

"Give me a sec." Ashlyn was not paying close enough attention to her wife's tone.

"Stop. I'm trying to put lotion on Sam and he won't sit still because YOU won't sit still."

She heard it that time. Her wife was getting frustrated and irritated.

"Okay, okay." Ash answered and turned toward Samuel. "Time to take a UV force field break." Ashlyn had once explained to Sam about what sunscreen did by comparing it to a force field. Ever since then he thought it was the coolest thing ever.

"Okay, Mama." He sat up at attention and saluted her like she was the General of fun.

Ashlyn smiled and Ali rolled her eyes as Sammy puffed out his chest and waited nice and still for his Mommy to apply the lotion.

"What am I going to do with you two?" Ali gave Sam a little pat on the back to signal that he was all done and he hurried back to patting down the sand on top of his 'girlfriend,' Tobin.

Ashlyn grabbed the bucket to get another load of sand when she felt her wife's hand on her shoulder.

"Not so fast, wife. You're next!" Ashlyn stiffened.

"Oops. Sorry, I forgot."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sure." Ali spread the lotion on her wife's tan skin and finished it off with a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you. I love you."

Ash turned around with a sly smile and said quietly, "Wanna go skinny dipping?"

"Ha, yeah right. Be serious." Ali laughed off her wife's invitation.

"I'm serious. Look over there." Ash pointed to a pier in the distance. "Maybe we can get these two to watch the kids and we can go for a 'walk.' " Ash wiggled her eyebrows up and down insinuating her favorite activity to do with her wife.

"You're crazy if you think I am going to ask our team mates to babysit while we sneak off to have sex." Ali whispered.

"Baby, it's not like they are gonna know. If it makes you feel better we can just make out.....and you can take your top off. I'll keep my hands up north, I swear." Ash smiled at the blush filling her wife's cheeks.

"You are terrible." Ali slapped her arm. She looked at her daughter who was happily chatting with Whitney and her son who was giggling along with Tobin. She took a breath and looked at her wife and then back towards Whit and Tobs.

"Do you guys mind watching these two while Ash and I go for a walk? We'll be back in about 30 minutes." Both women said they were glad to help out. Ali looked back at her wife and saw her wide eyes unable to hide the surprise on her face.

"Ready?" Ali asked with a smirk.

"Uhh. Yeah...Yes." Ashlyn stuttered.

Ali stood up, took her wife by the hand, and pulled her up. They walked down the beach towards the pier hand in hand. Ashlyn was stunned that Ali went for her plan. She was mostly kidding. There was no way in her mind Ali would ever agree.

Ali pulled her wife into the water underneath the pier. It was pretty dark under there compared to the water surrounding them. The water was about neck deep so they were able to stand. Ali led Ash to a support beam and pushed her up against it. Ashlyn liked when Ali took control like this but it was always a surprise when she did.

"So what was that? You wanted me to take off my top. Is that what you said?"

"Umm." Ash had nothing.

Ali untied the strings to her bikini top and pulled it out of the water. "Is this what you meant?" She held the material close to Ash's face and stepped into her wife. Her leg pushed in between Ashlyn's legs, applying pressure.

Ashlyn shook her head slowly up and down affirming that that was indeed what she meant.

Ali loved having her wife like this. She literally took her breath away. Ali leaned into Ashlyn's left ear and whispered, "You need to breathe, baby, or we aren't gonna be able to get very far."

Ashlyn took a breath and made sure to follow all of her wife's instructions very carefully.

...

The two women returned to their spot on the beach giggling the whole way. They helped the kids splash and play in the water. Whitney pulled her best friend aside and asked her if she had fun on her 'walk.' "

"Yeah, we just threw rocks in the water and looked at the pigeons." Ash answered nonchalantly.

"Really? Was it a pigeon that gave you that hickey?" Whitney busted out laughing.

Ashlyn looked down and sure enough there was a hickey sticking out of her bikini top.

"Judging from the placement I would say that that pigeon sure showed you a good time." Whit continued to laugh at her friend.

Ash couldn't think of anything to cover, so she just decided to cover the evidence instead and she pulled on a shirt. She returned to her family in the water. It had been a very good day. There was no denying that!

Chapter Text

The family had all gathered in Florida for Ashlyn's Grandma's 80th birthday. The house was packed. Ashlyn's relatives had come from all over to celebrate the elderly woman's life. Ashlyn's aunts and uncles, all her cousins and their kids were there. It should have been something that Ash was looking forward to but she was actually dreading it.

After her estranged father's surprise visit and his confession of her mother's 'hatred' of her and her brother, she would have rather maintained distance from her mom. She would have liked to stay away long enough for her to figure out what she believed and how she felt about everything.

But time was not on her side. She tried her best to keep away from her mom. If her mother was in the front of the house talking, she would make sure she was in the back. If her mom was in the back yard she would go to the front porch. It was similar to a carefully choreographed dance.

Ali was aware of her wife's fragile state. She was also familiar with Ashlyn's need for space and her tendency to distance herself from whatever or whomever was the cause of her hurt. Ali made sure to keep a watchful eye on her wife during their weekend visit.

Even though Ashlyn considered her Grandma's house her house too, because she grew up there as a child, she decided that her family would rent a hotel room for the weekend. She wanted to be able to control how much access her mother had to her and her family. They had spent a good amount of time in their hotel room earlier that day instead of having lunch with the rest of the family. Ali allowed her wife to have her way even though it meant a little extra effort and seemed to defeat the purpose of being there in the first place. Now they were all at the house, they had eaten cake, and given presents to the birthday girl. After Grandma Harris opened her gifts, Ali realized she had lost track of her wife.

At this moment Ashlyn's cousin approached Ali asking about their absence at lunch. "Hey, I thought I would have seen you guys at lunch today?"

"Oh yeah, we were held up a little bit. Sometimes its hard with the kids when we travel." Ali half lied. It's true, the kids can have a hard time traveling but that wasn't the case this time.

"Well, I'm glad you could make it tonight. Although I have been having the hardest time finding Ashlyn."

"You know Ash. She's probably been stopped by just about everyone. I'm sure she'll find you. I know she always wants to see you." Ali said.

"Well, I would certainly hope so. She is my favorite cousin after all." The cousin answered.

Ali laughed along with her but her heart really wasn't in it. She did what she did best, which was worry about her family. Right now her wife was causing her a great deal of worry. She knew her kids were fine playing with relatives. There were lots of adults around to supervise, so she decided it was the perfect time to hunt for her wife.

She found her out on the front porch talking to her brother. The conversation seemed serious so she stayed at a distance and didn't interrupt. What she heard broke her heart.

"To answer your question, Ash...I don't know why it didn't work out with her." Chris said.

Ashlyn's brother, Chris, had been dating a local girl pretty seriously but they recently broke up. He hadn't told anyone until tonight when Ashlyn asked how things were going.

"Why not?" Ash asked. "Why didn't it work out? She seemed great for you."

"She was great for me. But I was not so great for her. You know me. I'm messed up. There's something wrong with me. All I do is hurt people." He answered.

"That's not true. Why would you even say that?" Ashlyn defended her brother from his own accusations.

"Ash, I haven't found my Ali yet, okay?"

"Okay." Ash said, feeling confused by his tone...or lack of tone. It was unsettling.

"Think about all the crap that Ali has had to put up with because of our messed up family. I just haven't been able to find someone that's willing to put themselves through all that suffering to be with me." Chris seemed numb to the words he was saying. He didn't think of the implications of what he said.

Ashlyn, on the other hand, felt every word. Did she bring suffering into her wife's life? Did she expose her children to things she should have let die with her? This conversation certainly didn't help Ashlyn's unsettled mind.

"Hmm. Maybe you're right." Ashlyn said softly. She reached into the ice chest next to her brother and pulled out a can of beer. She stood quietly with her brother, leaning against the porch railing.

Ali knew it was time to let her presence be made known. She walked up next to Ash and rubbed her arm trying to bring some comfort. Ash turned to her wife and saw a small smile that couldn't cover up the worry written all over her face.

When Chris saw Ali he gave her a hug and decided to leave the two and join the kids inside.

"I'm fine, Al." Ash knew that her wife had come to check on her. She took a gulp from the can in her hand.

"Are you sure about that? You don't usually drink at family functions." Ali wasn't reprimanding her, but she wanted to make sure she knew she noticed.

"Don't worry about it." Ashlyn coldly answered.

Ali sighed loudly. This caused Ash to soften a little bit, remembering the conversation she just had with her brother. She felt guilty. Why was it so easy for her to be cold toward Ali? She wondered if she has been hurting her since the moment they met.

Ashlyn walked to the opposite side of the porch and sat on the swing in the corner. She gave the space next to her a little pat. Ali slowly walked over to her and sat down.

"I'm sorry." Ash apologized.

"I know." Ali answered.

"I was just talking to my brother. I'm feeling kinda bad. I didn't mean to take it out on you. You don't deserve it. You don't deserve any of it."

Ali knew that Ash meant more by that. But she let it go for now. She grabbed her hand and leaned up against her wife's arm.

"I know this is a hard situation for you. Do whatever you need to do. Just know that I think you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I wouldn't change you for the world." Ali sweetly encouraged her wife.

Ashlyn put her head down and took a breath, "Al, I feel like I don't deserve you." Ali wanted to jump in and correct her wife, but she knew that Ash needed to continue and let out what was on her mind.

Ash continued. "I feel like I just keep making things harder on you. You're so understanding and patient. You don't deserve this." Ash took a drink and motioned her hand to herself.

Ali moved her hand from Ashlyn's hand and brought it to her wife's face. She gently stroked Ash's cheek with her finger.

"You're right." Ali answered.

Ashlyn just shook her head. She knew it. She knew Ali agreed with her. How could she not?

Ali smiled sweetly, "I don't deserve you because you are an amazing woman, who has overcome so much and has become more than I could ever have dreamed of."

Ash kept her head down. Ali noticed one tear collecting in her wife's eye and decided to come clean.

"I heard you and your brother talking. I'm sorry. I was looking for you and when I saw you were in a pretty serious conversation I didn't want to interrupt. But here's the truth. We have definitely faced some difficulties together, but no matter what comes, I would rather face hard times with you than easy times with anyone else. And that is the God's honest truth."

Ashlyn put her drink down and leaned into the back of the porch swing. She opened up her arms and Ali fell into her. Ashlyn held her tight and placed several kisses to the top of her head. With Ali's head on her chest and arms around her waist she felt like she was in paradise. If her life was hell, then Ali was heaven.

"You're the only one who could ever bring me peace." Ash said softly to Ali.

Ali lifted up her head so she could see Ashlyn's eyes looking down at her. "I feel the same about you." She said with a smile.

The couple took in the night sky and watched the sun set in front of them. They stayed there for almost an hour just holding each other. There were a few words shared, but they mostly just enjoyed one another's closeness.

...

After the two had relaxed outside for a while they decided to be responsible parents and check on their children. Making their way through the house proved to be difficult. Everyone wanted to talk to Ashlyn. She was usually the life of the party. They were all so proud of her and how much she had accomplished. They felt like they had a celebrity in the family. Ashlyn never really caught on to how much her entire family admired her. Ali tried to tell her but she brushed her off every time.

As they made their way to the children, Ali made sure to never leave Ashlyn's side. Even though it made more sense for her to let Ash catch up while she left and checked on the kids, she knew her wife needed her to stay close.

They finally found the children playing in the back yard. There were lawn chairs spread out around them and several adults overseeing the children's fun. Ali and Ash sat down and watched their youngest rolling on the ground and barking like a dog. He had started doing this recently. He said he wanted to talk to Monster in puppy language.

Some mornings Sam woke up feeling like he wanted to be a dog for the day. Other mornings he woke up wanting to be a little boy. The women didn't mind. He turned out to be a very cute and well-behaved dog.

Whether the boy missed his dog, or he was just feeling like playing around, he had decided now was the perfect time for his canine transformation. The couple was smiling and laughing at their puppy boy when Ali decided to get Sammy some water. His cheeks looked pretty red from all his activity.

Ashlyn's mom took the opportunity to take Ali's seat and talk to her daughter.

"I haven't really gotten to talk to you much since you've gotten here." Ashlyn's mom said.

Ashlyn didn't answer. She just kept looking at her son.

Her mother followed her stare and made a disapproving face.

"Do you really think it's okay to let this kind of behavior continue?"

Well, that got Ashlyn's attention.

She clenched her jaw before her reply. "What do you mean?"

"I mean he's acting like an animal. And a very hyper animal at that. Does he have medication he takes or is he not normally like this?"

"Are you seriously giving me parenting advice right now?"

Her mom was a little surprised that Ashlyn didn't welcome her opinion.

"I'm not trying to offend you. I'm just saying that maybe this isn't normal."

"How dare you?!" Ashlyn was pissed.

Sammy crawled towards her on all fours and barked at Ashlyn. Ashlyn's face softened and she reached down to give him a pat on the head. Sam licked her hand and crawled away looking for someone else to give a dog kiss to.

After the boy left, Ash turned her attention back to her mother. "My son is perfect. I love him and accept him just how he is. I know you can't understand that, but I don't care."

Ali heard her wife as she was helping Sam to a drink of water. She gave her son a kiss and left him to continue his play.

"Hey, is everything alright?" Ali really wasn't asking, she just wanted to include herself in the conversation.

"Apparently, there is something wrong with our son." Ash answered looking at her mother.

"That's not what I said, Ashlyn! Don't put words in my mouth just so you can try to excuse your behavior."

"You're such an expert on behavior these days." Ashlyn sarcastically said to her mother.

"Baby, I think it's time for us to go." Ali put her hand on Ashlyn's shoulder and successfully got her attention.

Ashlyn calmed almost immediately and agreed. This was the exact sort of thing that Ash was trying to avoid. She was here because she loved her grandmother, not because she was angry with her mother.

The women gathered up their children and left for their hotel.

...

The next day Ashlyn took her Grandma out to breakfast and then took the rest of the Krieger-Harris clan to the beach. Ashlyn tried to teach her children how to surf but they were just too young. Although they did seem pretty good on the board while it was laying in the sand. Ali took lots of pictures and laughed at their three year old saying "Gnarly, dudes!"

After 'surfing lessons' the family spread out on their beach blanket and towels and ate snacks that Ali had packed for them. Ashlyn took in the scenery and smiled. She then took in the scenery around her, her wife, her two perfect children, and couldn't help but feel that it was more beautiful than any ocean sunset.

Ali caught her wife staring and smiled. She could tell Ashlyn was feeling better about things. She leaned into her and gave her a kiss on the lips.

"What was that for?" Ash asked.

"I just love ya, that's all."

"Okay, weirdo. I love you too."

...

Back at the house Ali sat on the deck in the back yard of Ashlyn's Grandmother's house. Ash's Grandma was there with her and they were both watching another conversation from afar. Ashlyn and her mother were sitting in the elaborate flower garden that Ashlyn and her brother helped their Grandmother create years ago. Usually this location was a place of beauty and peace for the family. In fact, when Ashlyn brought Ali home to meet her family she made sure to use the garden to provide a romantic backdrop for a late night kiss with her future wife.

Today it was anything but peaceful. Ali looked on as her wife was in tears. She felt helpless. Ashlyn told her to stay away and give them privacy. Ash wanted answers from her mother. She wanted to know if she ever loved her. She wanted to know if her father was right when he said that her mother only came back in her life because of a court order. She knew that the truth might be too painful for Ali to hear. She didn't want to put her very protective and worrying wife through that.

"Are you okay, dear?" Ashlyn's Grandmother could see the worry on Ali's face. "My Ashlyn Michelle is a tough girl. She will be okay."

"I know she's tough. I just hate seeing her hurt." Ali answered.

"Her mother will most likely continue to hurt her. I've seen it a million times. But I know that she will be get through it."

"How do you know? One person should not have to endure what Ashlyn has had too. It's not fair." Ali was crying. She always cried when she thought about Ashlyn's suffering.

"I spoke with her this morning. She told me about her father. I was proud of her for calling the police. She thought I would be mad because he's my son, but I wish I would have been brave enough to do it a long time ago. Maybe our sweet girl wouldn't have gone through so much."

Ali could tell that Grandma Harris was filled with regret.

"You saved her, Grandma. You saved her life. I know you did." Ali reassured her.

"But I wish I could have saved her from it all."

Their conversation was interrupted by Ashlyn and her mom as they walked up to them.

Ashlyn went straight to Ali and squeezed her shoulder. Ali stared into Ash's eyes looking for any kind of answer about how the conversation was and most importantly how she was. Her wife just gave a quick smile and put her arm around her waist and pulled her in close.

Ali couldn't read her wife. She could tell that she had been crying but yet she seemed to be fine. She was worried that Ash might have finally been pushed too far.

Grandma Harris walked over to her girl and gave her a hug. Ash didn't let go or move from Ali's side so Grandma had to hug both of them. "I'm proud of you, my beautiful girl." Grandma said with a smile and a kiss on the cheek. She left Ali, Ash and Mrs Harris alone on the deck.

Ali was ready to leave. She didn't want to be anywhere near her mother-in-law, but she knew it had to be Ashlyn's call. She was just there for support. She didn't say a word. She just clung to Ashlyn in the quiet night.

"Good-bye, Ashlyn." Ash's mom said. The words seemed heavy with meaning.

Ash nodded as her mother walked through the sliding glass doors and into the house.

Less than a second after the door closed Ali pulled Ash to face her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Ash replied.

"Well, what happened? What did she say?"

"It doesn't matter." Ash answered.

"Of course it matters. Baby, don't shut me out!" Ali was worried. She couldn't handle giving Ash distance right now. She needed to know she was okay.

"I'm serious, Alex. I'm fine. She said some pretty messed up stuff to me. But it doesn't matter. I should have realized it sooner. It took talking to my Grandma this morning to realize that it just doesn't matter."

Ali was thoroughly confused.

Ash could see that she wasn't clear enough. She took her wife's hand and led her in the house. She walked her to the play room where their kids were building a Lego village with Ashlyn's cousins.

"Look at them." Ash nodded towards Lexi and Sam. "They were found in a place where you literally throw your trash. That's what some sick person thought they were worth." Ash turned to her wife and made sure they were face-to-face. "But we know better, don't we?" Ali smiled widely as she nodded in agreement, tears welling up in her eyes.

"It doesn't matter what my mom or dad think. We know better, huh?" Ash continued.

"Yes. We sure do!" Ali pulled Ashlyn down by the collar of her shirt and kissed her. "I love you so much, Ash."

"I love you too. And I love our family. And I love everything about us!"

Chapter Text

Ali had just finished putting the kids to bed and found her own bed empty. Ashlyn was in their bed when she last checked, but now her wife was nowhere to be found. Ali did the whole bedtime routine. She brushed her teeth, washed her face, and set both her and her wife's alarms for the next morning.

She pulled back the covers on their bed and looked at the empty space that usually was filled by her betrothed. She threw the comforter back down and set out to find what was keeping Ashlyn from joining her.

Ali found Ash in the kitchen. She had two slices of bread covered in peanut butter and marshmallows. Her wife watched her place 3 whole pickles next to each other, sprinkle hot sauce over it all, and smash the slices together.

"Are you serious?" Ali could not believe what her wife was about to put in your mouth.

Ashlyn had the peanut butter, marshmallow, pickle, hot sauce sandwich right on the tip of her lips when she heard Ali and jumped.

"Al, what are you doing sneaking up on me like that?"

"What are YOU doing eating that disgusting sandwich?"

"It's good." Ash defended her food choice and took a bite.

"Stop eating that. I am the one that has to share a bed with you. I don't want our room to become a nuclear toxic site when you wake up with stomach cramps and a gas attack."

Ashlyn gave a quiet chuckle and took another bite. With her mouth full she tried to defend her actions. "Babe, I can't help it. I have a craving for it, right now."

"I'm serious, Ash! You become a dangerous weapon of mass destruction when you eat that crap." Ali feared for her life.

Ashlyn laughed louder and walked over to her wife with a grin on her face. She gave her a kiss on the forehead and took another bite.

"Throw that away and come to bed. You're on the couch if you start stink'n the place up. I'm serious." Ali scolded.

She noticed her wife didn't seem to heed her warning so she took another approach. Ali placed a kiss on Ashlyn's neck and blew softly into her ear. She distracted her just enough so that she could grab the sandwich out of her hands. She left a confused Ash to watch her throw the food away and walk off towards their bedroom.

'Hey! That wasn't nice!. I was eating that."

"I know! That was the point....to stop you from eating that crap!" Ali said.

Ali walked back toward her wife and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "If you're still hungry, I have other ideas of how to satisfy your appetite." Ali took her hand and led her to their bedroom.

...

Both women woke up to find a boy and his dog had invaded their room during the night. Ali was the first to wake up but didn't want to wake her wife and son. Monster felt her move ever so slightly and moved to lick her face. Ali was not a fan of puppy kisses on the face so she used her hand to block his wet tongue. The dog was more than happy to settle for her rubbing his ears and scratching his belly.

Ashlyn was the next to wake up. She had an adorable boy's face smashed into her neck. She searched for her wife and saw her smiling at her. They stayed there contently silent, waiting for their youngest to wake up. It was a rare occasion that they were able to enjoy a quiet and still Samuel. They were going to savor the moment that was sure to end soon.

Ash's stomach interrupted the sweet moment with a grumble. Immediately Ali gave her wife a look of warning.

"What?" Ashlyn didn't understand her wife's problem.

Ali was worried that Ashlyn's late night snack was coming back to haunt them.

Ali's concern suddenly dawned on Ashlyn. She couldn't help it. She started cracking up. "I'm fine. I barely had a bite of that awesome sandwich."

"You had three bites, actually." Ali corrected her.

"Well, it doesn't matter. I feel fine. I'm just hungry."

"Hmm." Ali was suspicious of her wife. She knew her wife's sense of humor sometimes involved a very specific form of torture saved just for her. Ashlyn would often ask if she wanted to play a game. "I don't want to play 'name that smell' with you, Ashlyn. I'm gonna check on Lex and get breakfast started. Don't harm our son with your stomach problems."

Ash laughed as Ali walked out of the room with a little dog following behind.

...

Ali had breakfast ready and sent Lexi to collect the rest of their family. A few minutes later she saw her wife carrying both kids, one in each arm. She set Lex down but held tight to Sam. Ash gave Ali a kiss on the cheek and thanked her for making her favorite omelet for breakfast. Sam was still asleep in her arms.

"I think he feels warm. What do you think?" Ashlyn asked her wife.

Ali put her cheek on his forehead and knew right away he had a fever.

"Has he woken up at all?" A concerned Ali asked.

"Yeah, he asked where Monster was and then fell back asleep."

"I'll call the doctor after breakfast. We might have to take him to urgent care if we can't get an appointment with Dr. Martin." Ali said.

"I hate that place. Let's just give him some children's tylenol and see if he gets better."

"We're taking him to the doctor, Ash. But you're right we should give him a tylenol to try and bring his fever down."

...

After breakfast, and almost and hour of phone calls, Ali had decided that they had no other choice but to take their son to urgent care. Ash found out that he also had a headache and after Ali googled his symptoms the possibilities ranged from nothing serious to meningitis. She didn't want to take any risks.

Ali decided it would be best for Ashlyn to take him to urgent care. She gave Ashlyn a bag of books and toys for the boy, in case he started feeling better and got bored. She included snacks for both of them. (The last time they went there they spent 4 hours waiting to be seen.) She threw in a few bottles of water and his insurance card and included a paper with questions written on it that she wanted Ashlyn to ask the doctor.

"Why don't you just go? You're better at these kind of things." Ashlyn asked. She really hated that place.

"Because Lexi has ballet and I am driving the carpool and bringing the snack. You don't know where the girls live that need picked up and you would probably bring them pizza for a snack. Sorry baby, I'm also better at these kind of things too." Ali joked.

"You're better at everything than I am." Ash said.

Ali saw that what she said wasn't taken how she intended and felt bad.

"Sweetheart, you know you're the BEST at getting him to stay calm and relaxed." She gestured to Sam who was still in Ash's arms with his head laying on her shoulder. Ali pulled both of them into a hug. "You are the one he needs right now."

"Yeah, yeah. You just want to get out of waiting around until the end of time in that stupid waiting room." Ash answered.

"Stop. You'll be fine. I love you....Make sure you text or call me to let me know how he's doing."

"Ok." Ash surrendered to the fact that they had to go. She picked up the bag Ali had packed and gave both her girls a kiss. She left for urgent care dreading the day ahead.

...

Ash was true to her word and kept Ali updated throughout the day. Ali reminded her every so often to wake Sammy up and give him some water. Sam slept the entire two hours it took to be seen. It could have been a lot harder for Ashlyn, if he wasn't feeling so weak.

The women's concerns were put to rest when the Doctor assured Ashlyn that he just had a bug. It would probably go away in a few days. He just needed lots of rest and fluids. Ashlyn tried to get him to feel a little bit better by offering to take him to get ice cream on the way home. Ash could tell he was feeling terrible because he turned her down right away.

The two arrived home and Ali could see that her wife was worried about something. She still held their son close and refused to give him up when Ali offered to take him. Ali figured she had been holding him all day and might want a break, but Ashlyn had other ideas.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Ali could read her wife like a book.

"What do you mean?"

"You said everything is fine but you're acting like it's not. What's up?" Ali asked.

Ash took the boy to the couch and laid him down. She covered him up with a blanket and gave him a kiss on his fevered forehead. She nodded towards the kitchen and her wife followed her there.

"What is it, Ash?" Ali asked. She could tell Ashlyn was really worried about whatever it was that was on her mind.

"We don't know our own children's family history." Ash answered her. "They had all this paperwork and the doctor asked a bunch of questions that I didn't know. What if one day something comes up and we won't know how to help them? What if they get really sick and die because we can't fill out the right answers on a stupid form?"

"Ok, you need to take a breath." Ali was usually the one who filled out the important forms so she was well aware of the lack of information in her children's medical charts. Ali had Ashlyn sit down at the kitchen table and she took her hand and lightly ran her thumb over the top of it.

"Ash, why all of a sudden is this bothering you? Nothing has changed since they have come into our lives 3 years ago." Ali rationalized.

"Alex, how can we protect them when we don't know what we are protecting them from?" Ashlyn said. "I just want to protect them, but I can't."

"Baby, you're worrying about things that may never happen." Ali tried to encourage her wife.

"But what if it does? What then? What will we do then?" Ash fearfully asked.

Ali sat down next to her wife and leaned in to press Ashlyn's forehead against her own.

"Sweetheart, there will be a day when something comes that we can't protect our children from. But we can't spend our lives making up potential problems that might not ever happen."

Ali pulled away a little bit and looked Ash in the eyes, "I will schedule full check ups for them. We'll get blood work and make sure everything is ok. All we can do is try to be as thorough as possible. Other than that, we need to enjoy our babies and not worry about things that we have no control over."

Ash shook her head and sighed. "I thought you were the worrier in the family. What happened?"

Ali laughed at her wife's very true comment. "I don't know, I guess I just know everything is going to be ok."

Ashlyn pulled Ali in for a hug and gave her a kiss. "I'm lucky to have you. I really am."

Ali's smile was quickly replaced by a worried look when they were again interrupted by the sound of Ashlyn's stomach. Ali moved cautiously away from her wife. Ashlyn looked down at her gut and laughed.

"Hey Al, you wanna play a game?"

Chapter Text

Ashlyn had just returned home from a 2 day trip to New York. She flew out there to meet up with a high school friend who had started an organization to promote self love and love for one another. She was asked to give a motivational speech about finding your value and not giving up on yourself or others. For obvious reasons this was a message that was very important to her.

She flew in one evening, gave her speech the next day and flew back home on a red-eye that night. She ended up getting home around 6am the following day. She was exhausted. Ali had a small breakfast ready for her when she got home and sent her straight to bed. She could see that her wife needed rest more than anything.

Ali took her wife's bag and emptied out it's contents. Whenever they got back from any kind of trip Ali couldn't stand having dirty laundry sitting in their luggage. To her it felt like the clothes were just sitting there, staring at her, as if they were mocking her cleaning ability.

She threw Ashlyn's clothes in the washing machine and as she emptied out her pockets in a pair of her pants she found a collection of paper. She sorted through it, making sure not to throw away something important.

"Ashlyn and her receipts." Ali shook her head.

Ashlyn didn't ever know what to do with receipts. Ali usually balanced the checkbook, but she has long since given up on Ash remembering to give her the receipts to do it. She usually just goes off of their bank statement. So Ash tries to do the right thing but it only ever ends up with her having a pocket full of paper that she never gives to her wife.

Ali carefully unwadded the papers and threw them away. However, her curiosity was spiked when she found a tiny slip with a phone number on it. She stuffed the paper in her own pocket and finished up the laundry.

After checking on her kids, who were watching cartoons, she returned her attention to the numbers written on the paper in her pocket. She thought for a moment that she would just wait for her wife to wake up and ask her. Yep, that's what she would do. She would wait......or not.

She grabbed her laptop and typed the number into the search bar on google. It led her to a reverse number look up site and supplied her with a name. She typed the name into Facebook and there it was. The woman's profile pic was a picture of her and Ashlyn in a friendly embrace.

Ali wouldn't have let it bother her if it wasn't for the caption included that simply said, "I love this woman."

Ali went straight to her sleeping wife. She watched her for a few minutes. She paced the room for a few more minutes. She stared at the phone number on the paper and then the picture on the laptop. She debated how she would handle this. She wanted to be smooth and be able to get the truth out of her wife. She didn't want her to have a chance to cover it up somehow with a lie.

A half asleep Ashlyn can barely put words together. It wasn't fair to expect her to explain in this condition but Ali knew there was no chance she would be able to come up with a lie.

"Baby." Ail thought again. Maybe she shouldn't use a term of endearment right now. Especially if Ashlyn had found someone to take her place. It made her sick to think maybe this other girl calls her 'baby' too.

"Ashlyn." Ali shook her a little bit. Probably a little too rough considering she wasn't feeling very affectionate toward the woman at the moment.

Ash didn't move.

"ASHLYN!" Ali didn't exactly yell but she was much louder and her tone was very stern.

Ash rolled into Ali's touch. Ali stepped back and pulled away.

From her spot about 3 feet away from Ashlyn she said her name again. This time the tone was angry.

"Ashlyn, wake up."

Ali could see her wife's furrowed brow and she knew Ash had finally woken up enough to grasp what was going on.

"I'm only going to ask you once. Who's number is this?" Ali shoved the paper in Ashlyn's face.

"What are you talking about?" Ash answered her. She really did seem confused.

"Don't try to stall. Who's number is this?"

Ashlyn looked at the paper, then at her wife.

"Are you serious right now?" Ash asked slightly annoyed.

"I'm dead serious, Ashlyn. Who's number is this? Don't even try to lie to me."

Well, that woke Ashlyn up.

"What are you insinuating?" Ash asked defensively.

"ASHLYN, WHO'S NUMBER IS ON THIS PIECE OF PAPER." Ali yelled. She never yells.

Ashlyn flinched. It suddenly was clear what her wife was accusing her of.

"Are you kidding me right now, Alex?" Ashlyn threw their bedding on the floor, stormed out of their room, put on shoes, her jacket and left.

Ali followed her to the front yard. "Where are you going? You're a coward! Tell me the truth."

Ashlyn turned around and walked back towards Ali and stopped right in front of her.

"No Al, you're the coward! Are you looking for a reason to leave me? You honestly think that I would cheat on you? You're the only person in this world that I have ever trusted enough to be completely honest with and you don't even trust me. You're the coward." Ashlyn turned around and left.

Ali didn't know how to feel. She was mad, but also feeling like maybe she made a big mistake. No, she decided she was mad. She did all the necessary research to know the number belonged to someone who was in love with her wife. She walked back inside and thought about a life that didn't include Ashlyn.

...

Ashlyn didn't come home that night. At about 3am Ali decided she needed to reach out to her, even though she didn't want to. Heaven forbid she got in a car accident or something. She called, but Ashlyn didn't answer.

"She's probably half-way to New York by now with her new family." Ali whispered. When she said it out loud she realized how ridiculous that sounded. She shook her head and felt a twinge of regret shoot through her heart.

"What have I done?" Ali thought to herself.

She dialed her wife's number again and this time waited for the voicemail to pick up.

"Ashlyn, I don't know where you are. I hope you're ok. I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance to explain. Please come home."

Ali decided to camp out on the couch so she would be able to know sooner when, or maybe more like IF, her wife came home.

She didn't.

...

The next day Ali got the kids ready and off to daycare alone. She made her way to practice, not knowing whether or not Ashlyn would be there. She felt both relief and anger when she saw her already on the field warming up.

Ali made a decision last night not to be stubborn and let her wife have a chance to explain. She jogged over to her. She maintained several feet distance but sat down and joined Ashlyn in doing stretches.

"Where did you go last night?" Ali asked.

"Nowhere. I slept in my Jeep." Ash answered.

"Did you get my calls? I left a message."

"I know." Ash answered shortly.

Ali again was torn. Should she be upset or feel guilty?

"Well?" Ali asked.

"Well? What?" Ashlyn was not happy with her wife. She was hurt. She was irritated. She was mad. And now it seemed like her wife was ignoring what happened the day before and acting like she didn't do anything wrong.

"Well, I thought you might want to explain the number." Ali said annoyed that her wife was making this so difficult.

"I'm a coward, remember?"

"Ashlyn, come on! We are at work, and we need to talk this out before it becomes a distraction."

Ashlyn sighed. Ali was right, about the work thing. Not about anything else at the moment.

"Fine. I took a picture with some girl after my speech. I actually took a picture with a lot of people. But this girl, I don't even remember her name, she said she was contemplating hurting herself. She said my story brought her hope and probably saved her life. She gave me her number and I was gonna pass it on to someone who could followup with her. I thought I lost it. Her number, I mean. I thought I lost that paper. Anyway, I guess it was in my pocket."

Ashlyn seemed so sad as she explained. Ali knew she was telling the truth. She knew that this should have been a story that Ash could tell her and they could celebrate about but instead her suspicious behavior ruined it.

Ali took a breath and moved toward Ash. She placed her hand on her shoe. "I'm sorry, Ash. I believe you."

"You believe me?" Ali could hear the disappointment in Ash's voice. "How could you not trust me? After everything?"

"I know! It's horrible." Ali started to cry. "I looked up the number and it belonged to an attractive woman who said she loved you on her Facebook page. I'm sorry."

"How in the world did you look her up? I don't even know the chick's name."

"I googled the number and it gave me her name."

"You can do that?" Ash had no idea.

"Look, it doesn't matter. I'm sorry." Ali still felt terrible.

"Well, you should be sorry. What happened yesterday isn't us. If you can't trust me....I don't know..."

"Ashlyn, I do trust you."

"Really? Is that so? Because it didn't seem like it yesterday."

"I know. PLEASE." Ali was desperate. She knew she accused her wife of something she would never do. And worst of all she knew that she hurt her.

"Alex, we are a team. We have fans all over the place who constantly confess their love and half of them propose. You know that."

Ali nodded in agreement. Everything her wife said was true.

"Please stop being mad at me." Ali said. She felt so small at the moment and all she wanted was for Ashlyn to hug her and tell her it was all going to be ok.

"I just can't believe it. How long have we been together? We have two kids, for crying out loud. You think I would throw it all away for some chick who's name I don't even remember?"

Ali took a deep breath and let out a long remorseful sigh. "No, of course not. I just got stupidly jealous. Please, forgive me."

Ashlyn could tell she felt terrible. She decided she would swallow her pride and let her off the hook.

"Fine," Ash said. "I forgive you. But it hurts that you don't have faith in me."

"Ashlyn, I do have faith in you. I just got jealous and....I'm really sorry."

Ash nodded in understanding. "I get it. You were alone with the kids while I was out of town. It can be hard on you emotionally. If anyone can understand that, it's me."

"You really do forgive me?"

"Yeah, of course." Ash said. As soon as Ali saw Ashlyn's face of complete acceptance she went in for a kiss to seal the deal. Ash put her head on Ali's shoulder and found healing in her touch. She knew it was just a lapse in judgment. She knew her wife was with her 100% and trusted her with her life and future.

The team gathered around them and started cracking jokes. Ash decided it was time to get back to business when Lori yelled out to them to "Get a room!"

They both laughed and continued their day with a greater appreciation for the partnership they shared with one another. They were in it for the long haul.

Chapter Text

"Freeeeeeeeeeedom," Samuel yelled as he ran naked around the Krieger-Harris two story house.

A confused Ali watched as he ran past her being chased by Ashlyn holding out a towel. Ashlyn was being followed by an excited Monster.

"What's going on?" Ali asked her wife who was too busy laughing to tell their son to stop.

Ash stopped to talk to her wife, but the dog kept after the boy. "I made a joke about freeing himself of his clothes in order to take a bath. We sang a little song. Did a little dance. You know? The usual. Anyway, I guess it really stuck with him because when I tried to get him to put on his pj's after his bath he made a break for it."

Ali didn't seem quite as amused about the situation as her wife. "What am I gonna do with you two? This better not become a habit for him. Can you imagine him doing this in public?"

Ashlyn just laughed. She loved her son's crazy antics.

"Ash, stop laughing and go catch our naked son!"

That just made Ashlyn laugh harder. She started singing "Oh where oh where can my baby be? He's butt naked and ran from me...." (to the tune of Pearl Jam's Last Kiss)

Ali had to laugh at that. "Seriously" she said, "what am I going to do with you two?"

Ash kept singing and followed the trail of giggles from her son. He started singing along and let her wrap him up in a towel and carry him to his room to put on his pajamas.

...

The next day the family had planned a day at the zoo. Ashlyn had Samuel on her shoulders as he pointed out to her all of the animals that caught his eye. He loved anything that had big teeth. Lexi was holding Ali's hand and they discussed how pretty some of the animals were. She especially loved the birds. Ali decided that she and Ash were gonna have to get their daughter a bird house for their back yard.

The zoo had a play area for the smaller visitors. It had a slide with a lion's head at the bottom so it looked like the child was coming out of his open mouth. There were swings with bird wings on the side, so Lexi could feel like a flying bird. Of course, there was a jungle gym with what looked like monkeys hanging from it. The two women let their own little monkeys play to burn off some of their extra energy. Sam especially seemed to have a lot of wiggles to spare.

Lexi found some kids about her age building a castle in a sand box. Ali let her play, but kept a close watch on all 3 of her kids. Her biggest 'kid' was racing Samuel up the slide at the moment. Ali grinned at the sight of her wife making sure to let their son win the race at the last second.

Her head was only turned away from Lexi for a moment, but in that moment her daughter went from having a great time to looking like she was sad and confused. Ali observed the situation for a moment to see what was the problem. All she could figure out was that one of the other children must have said something to her to make her upset.

Ali promptly walked over to her daughter and helped her out of the sandbox. She could tell the girl was unhappy. Ali picked her up and sat both of them down on a nearby bench.

"What's wrong, Lex?" Ali asked.

Lexi didn't answer. She just hugged her Mommy tight and cried. Ashlyn observed the entire interaction and met Ali's eyes with her own. Ali made it clear that she had no idea what the problem was. Ashlyn decided that the best thing she could do was to keep the youngest of the brood away and entertained so that her wife could find out what was bothering their daughter.

Ashlyn watched as her daughter sniffled her way through an explanation. She watched as her wife comforted her with a tender touch. Ali didn't just look sympathetic. She looked angry. Ashlyn knew that was her cue. She convinced Sammy that it was time to join Ali and Lex.

When she tried to get Ali to fill her in, Ali waved her off and told her it would be better to discuss it later. Now Ashlyn was really curious. It seemed their daughter was ok but something definitely happened.

The family made a stop at the gift shop and let the children pick out one thing each. A new stuffed toucan seemed to brighten up Lexi's outlook. Sam got a stuffed lion and growled at it the whole ride home.

Ashlyn left the two children in the living room watching a nature show about animals. She found her wife in the kitchen and asked her what the heck happened to Lexi at the zoo.

"One of the kids asked about her 'mom.' " Ali said. "I guess she pointed to me and the child was actually wondering about you being her mom. When Lex told her that we both were, the little girl quoted her father and said that two women together don't fit and that the human body just isn't made that way. It doesn't work." Ali went on to explain how the little girl naively quoted her father's crude way of explaining how 2 women don't 'fit.'

"How are we supposed to explain to our 5 year old about sex and then tell her that two women fit just fine?" Ali emphasized the 'fit just fine' part and Ashlyn couldn't help but laugh. "ASHLYN, IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Ali slapped Ashlyn's arm to let her know she was serious.

"Babe, calm down. We don't have to explain anything to her right now, except that some people are stupid and need to be ignored." Ashlyn tried to calm her wife down.

"It's not that simple. Our kids unfortunately will have to face these kind of things their whole lives. How can we prepare them, while trying to protect them and preserve their innocence?"

"I don't know, Al. I mean, it's just how it is these days. I think one day in the future it will be better, but for now, this is our life. We can't act like we are ashamed of our lives. That's the worst thing we can do." Ash said.

"I'm not ashamed, Ash. I just don't know how to talk about these things with a 5 year old. And I hate that some idiot is making me have to worry about it!"

"Well, babe. I'm sure you'll figure it out." Ashlyn smiled and went in for a kiss. Unfortunately she was met by Ali's hand and not her lips. "What?" Ash asked.

Ali just stared at her with a look that let her know she had said the wrong thing. "What did I say?" Ash asked.

"I have to figure it out? WE have to figure it out." Ali made sure to set her wife straight.

"Ok. WE will figure it out. Lex seems fine right now. If it comes up again we can just keep everything we say rated G but explain to her that some people might disagree but we know that our family and our marriage is what's right for us." Ashlyn was calm and sincere as she said this and Ali realized that she was overreacting.

Ali finally let her wife kiss her. "Ash, you're so good to me."

Ash laughed, "Where did that come from?"

"You're just so good at making me feel better. I think we 'fit' perfectly." Ali pulled Ashlyn's face down and gave her another kiss.

Ashlyn was definitely enjoying their little moment. She was ready to show her wife just how perfectly they fit together. She lifted her wife up, while keeping their lips against one another. She pushed Ali up against the refrigerator sending magnets and the children's artwork to the floor. Ash held Ali up with one arm and with her free hand she began to find her way to the button on the front of Ali's jeans. She was able to loosen her pants enough to get her hand inside the front of Ali's underwear.

Ashlyn's touch to her skin woke Ali from the daze that her wife put her in. "Ashlyn, we have to stop." Ash kept kissing her. Ali turned her head so that Ash's lips were on her ear. "Baby, I'm serious. Our children are in the next room. It's the middle of the day. WE HAVE TO STOP."

Ashlyn bit Ali's ear and made her way down her neck. Her fingers continued their movement inside the front of her wife's pants. She was too focused on the task at hand. She couldn't register what her wife had said. Ali removed her own hands from holding Ashlyn and moved them to Ash's chest and pushed her slightly away from her.

"What?" Ash asked out of breath.

"Did you hear what I said?" Ali asked.

"No. What did you say?" Ash asked and then went in for another kiss.

"I said that our children are in the next room. We have to stop."

"Oh." Ash tried to catch her breath. Ashlyn set her wife down and took a step back. "I wasn't thinking." Ashlyn was still out of breath. Her heart was racing. It was always hard for her to calm down when they were in the middle of an intimate moment.

Ali loved that her wife craved her. She loved that Ashlyn had such a difficult time distancing herself from her in these moments. But they both knew that they needed to put the kids first and finish what they had just started at a more responsible time.

"I love you." Ali said with a smile on her face. She knew better than to take any steps towards Ashlyn. There would be no kissing or hugging. Her wife probably couldn't even handle the contact of a handshake right now. So Ali kept her distance and looked forward to when they would be able to pick up where they left off.

...

Ashlyn went for a run after her encounter with her wife. She needed to release some of her frustrated energy. Sam was still small enough to fit in their jogging stroller so she took him along for the ride. He loved holding his arms out and feeling like he was flying. Ashlyn ran fast and long. She had to make sure to wear herself out before she returned to the house. Before she returned to her beautiful wife.

When they got back she went straight for Ali who was sitting on the couch watching tv with Lexi. Ashlyn went head first into Ali's lap, making sure to wipe her sweat on her wife.

"Gross! What is your problem? You're all sweaty." Ali complained. Sam laughed and copied his mother and wiped his face on her leg, but he wasn't sweaty at all.

"What? I hug you when you're sweaty all the time." Ash defended.

"Yes, but that's after games or practice when we are both sweaty. You're so disgusting!"

"You love it!" Ashlyn said and gave Ali a peck on the cheek.

"You love it." Sam said and kissed Ali on the knee.

"You're just lucky you are both so cute." Ali laughed. "Now go clean up. Please. You smell!"Ali pinched her nose and pretended to turn away from the two.

Sam thought it was hilarious and asked if Ali wanted to smell his 'pits.' Ashlyn laughed as she scooped him up and pretended he was the smelliest superhero around. This led to a very serious conversation about what his super power would be and he settled on having toxic farts. Ashlyn couldn't help but think about Ali's description of her own gas passing. They ended up making up a theme song that they would later share with her wife.

...

"Mama, why are kids mean to me because I don't have a daddy?" Lexi asked.

Ashlyn and Lexi were in the back yard building a bird house when the little girl dropped a bomb of a question on her Mama.

"Who's being mean to you?" Ash was ready to knock someone out.

"The girl at the zoo and a boy at daycare. They said it's not ok that I don't have a daddy, like how Mommy has a daddy."

"All families are different, Lex. Some have one parent. Some have two moms or two dads. I was raised by my grandpa and grandma. It's ok to be different." Ash wasn't sure how specific to get with her 5 year old.

"Why are people so mean?" Lex asked.

That was hard for Ashlyn to hear. It was even harder for her to answer.

"I really don't know. Some people learn to be mean by watching other people. That's probably the case for the girl at the zoo and the boy in your daycare. They probably have seen their parents or someone else be mean, or heard them say something mean, and so they do the same thing. You know how you are always wanting to paint your nails like Mommy? Maybe those kids are just trying to be like their parents."

Lexi thought about her Mama's answer and tried to really understand.

"But Mama, why would anyone want to be mean?"

Ashlyn couldn't be more proud of her daughter for what she just said.

"I have no idea, Lex. It doesn't make any sense to me either. But some people do choose to be mean and the best we can do is try not to act like them." Ash answered.

"Mama, it makes me sad when people are mean and say mean things about you and Mommy. Sometimes it makes me cry. It hurts my feelings."

"It hurts my feelings sometimes too. It's ok to cry when people are mean. But you have to always remember that just because someone says something that hurts your feelings doesn't mean it's true. You are the most beautiful, smart, talented, and kindest girl I know. If someone is mean to you it is because they have a problem, not you." Ash took Lex in her arms and hugged her.

"Thanks, Mama." Lex gave Ash a kiss on the cheek. "You know what, Mama? I'm glad I have two moms."

Lexi returned to painting the roof of the bird house Ash was helping her put together. Ash couldn't help but smile. Her daughter was one in a million.

...

Ali and Sam were coloring his Avengers activity book when Ash and Lex came in from the back yard. Lex went right to Ali and kissed her cheek, like she had previously done to Ash. "I'm glad I have two moms, Mommy. I love you." Lex picked up a crayon and joined her brother in coloring.

Ali looked at Ash and stood up. She escorted her wife a few feet away from the kids and asked her what that was all about.

"We just had a little talk about why some kids are mean and that it's ok to be different. I guess she really took it to heart." Ash explained.

Ali pulled her wife into her by grabbing her shirt. She kissed her and said, "I can't wait to show you how much I love you."

Ash smirked. "Ok kids, bedtime."

"Mama, it's not time for bed yet. It's not even dark out." Lexi protested.

Ali patted her wife's backside and answered their daughter. "Mama is just kidding, baby. Just keep helping your brother color."

Ashlyn felt like the night was moving in slow motion. She couldn't wait to spend some one on one time with her wife. She did all she could to wear the kids out and get them in bed as soon as possible. She knew whatever was coming was gonna be well worth the wait.

Chapter Text

Ali had noticed that Ashlyn had been 'off' for the last couple of days. She seemed distant. It seemed like she was just going through the motions in both her personal and professional life. Ali had tried a number of things to pull her wife out of whatever funk she was in, but each time she failed. She decided she needed to address this issue herself, instead of trying to get Ashlyn to bring it up.

Ali waited until after practice to talk to her wife. She had worked it out with her dad ahead of time for him to pick up the kids from daycare so that the two women could have some alone time. The truth was, Ali was worried about her wife. The last few months had been really hard on her. Her grandfather, who practically raised her, passed away. Her father entered back into her life only to try to use her and threaten her family. And most recently her own mother had disappointed her so much that she felt she couldn't even tell Ali about it. On top of all that, Ashlyn's schedule had been crazy. With family, soccer, and speaking engagements she was exhausted.

Ali was afraid that Ashlyn was shutting down. It's a defense mechanism that probably helped keep her sane through her years as a child, but now it was threatening the life that they both worked so hard to create.

"Ash!" Ali yelled across the pitch to get her wife's attention. She was pretty sure Ashlyn heard her but she didn't acknowledge her. Ali jogged over to where she was and tried again.

"Ash, hold up."

Ashlyn turned toward her with dull eyes. Ali couldn't explain it but there was something different about her eyes.

"What's up?" Ashlyn answered her wife.

Ali walked up close to Ash and put her hand on her bicep. "I arranged it so that my dad could take the kids for the night and I could take you out. I just wanted to let you know we have reservations at your favorite steak house."

"Oh." Ash looked down at the ground. "You shouldn't have done that. I'm not really hungry."

"Yeah, I noticed. You've barely eaten anything the last few days. I thought maybe a nice meal might help you get your appetite back." Ali gave Ashlyn's arm a squeeze. Ash looked up at her and Ali gave her a careful smile.

"I uh...ok." Ash hesitated. "That's really thoughtful of you. Thanks." Ashlyn said with little emotion. She didn't want to go but she could tell Ali really wanted her too.

Ali let go of her wife's arm and slipped her own around her waist. She shimmied herself underneath Ash's left arm and walked Ashlyn to the parking lot. She wanted to remove any form of distance between them. If Ashlyn was trying to run from her emotions she would chase her down. She wasn't going to let Ash tackle anything alone.

...

Dinner was quiet. It was so odd, Ali thought. They never had a problem with conversation. Normally the two would be flirting and hurrying the waiter to bring the bill by now. This time it was different. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence but Ali kept trying to figure out how to get Ash to open up. She would go over possible conversation starters in her head. Over and over. The gears were turning, but nothing seemed natural. It didn't seem like the right time.

The two women made it home and Ali followed Ash into the kitchen where she dropped off their leftovers. Ashlyn put the food in the fridge. She walked over to the sink and washed her hands. She felt Ali's presence behind her. She could feel her wife's worry seeping out of her.

"What?" Ash turned around and asked her wife who was less than a foot away.

"What?" Ali wasn't sure what her wife was referring too.

"You're hovering, Alex. Say whatever it is you've been wanting to say all night."

"Oh, umm. Sorry. I wasn't trying to hover." Ali took a few steps back.

Ashlyn let out a sigh and stepped towards her. "It's ok. What's on your mind?"

"Well, I was just wondering if everything was ok." Ali almost whispered. She knew everything was not ok. She didn't want to push her wife, but she also didn't want to let her keep hurting if there was anything she could possibly do to stop it.

"Everything is fine. I'm fine, Alex." Ash answered. Her voice void of any emotion. "You didn't have to take me out for a fancy dinner to ask me that. You could have just asked."

"I know but I wanted to take care of you." Ali answered sweetly, still maintaining a quiet and calm tone.

"I'm fine." Ash wanted to move on but Ali knew that they hadn't even scratched the surface yet.

"It's just that you seem a little off lately." Ali said.

"What do you mean?" Ash asked. She knew what she meant, she was trying to avoid talking as much as she could.

"Well, it just seems like there is something wrong.You haven't been eating much, you aren't as attentive to the kids when they are around, you are often zoned out. And just last night I tried to be affectionate with you and you rolled over and pretended you were asleep. That's not like you, baby."

Ashlyn looked everywhere but at her wife. She knew everything Ali said was true but she still felt like she didn't have an answer to explain herself. Ali noticed her wife's left leg was bouncing a little bit. It's not as obvious because Ash was standing but it was there. Ash had a tell when she was anxious and Ali noticed.

Ali was starting to break through the wall Ashlyn unintentionally built. She intended to take it down brick by brick. She decided she needed to just go for it. No more beating around the bush.

"Ash, you know you're safe with me. You know you can tell me anything. Please tell me what's wrong."

"I don't know." Ash mumbled.

"Please don't shut me out. You're scaring me, Ashlyn! I want to help you, but if you don't let me in, I can't. Please tell me what's wrong." Ali begged. She was on the verge of desperation.

"I already told you. I don't know. I just feel bad. I don't understand it myself!" Ashlyn yelled at her wife in frustration. Ashlyn wasn't mad. She was scared.

Ali crossed the distance between them. Though it was only a few steps it felt like an ocean. Ali embraced her wife. She tried to encompass her with all the strength and support she could muster. Ash tried to wiggle out of her grip, but Ali just held her tighter.

Ashlyn was trembling. There was nothing Ali could do to stop it. She felt helpless.

"Baby, maybe you should talk to someone about this." Ali suggested.

"I am trying to talk to you, Ali. It's hard."

"I don't mean me. Maybe a therapist. Someone who knows a little more about this than me."

"You think I'm crazy?" Ashlyn was truly hurt. But she was also afraid that maybe she was crazy.

"No, of course not. I think you just need someone who can help you through some of this stuff." Ali tried to make Ashlyn feel better about her suggestion, but she failed miserably.

Ashlyn shut down. She saw it happen right in front of her eyes. Her jaw clenched her eyes went cold. Ashlyn was ready to run. She grabbed her keys and walked out the door.

"Ashlyn stop!" Ali yelled. "You can't drive right now." There was no way Ali was going to let her wife get behind the wheel of a vehicle when she was so upset.

"Why? Because you think I am crazy?" Ash screamed.

"No Ash, you're not crazy. You're upset and I don't want you to get hurt. I don't care how mad you get at me. I'm not gonna let you drive."

Ashlyn ignored her wife's concern and grabbed the handle of the driver's side door. She opened it halfway when she was met with Ali's own hand. Ali slammed the door back shut.

"You're not driving like this!" Ali yelled. She needed to get through to her wife.

"Leave me alone, Alex!" Ashlyn pushed her away and slammed her fist into her car door. She was able to get three punches off before Ali tackled her to the ground and held her there.

...

Ashlyn didn't manage to break anything, but both her hand and her Jeep were dented. It took Ali several minutes to get Ashlyn to calm down, but once she did she realized that she needed help. She agreed to see someone who could help her move past whatever it was that was causing her to feel so terrible. She hated the idea but she agreed to do it for her wife and children. They deserved her best and she was feeling like a lot less than that.

"Here, put this on your hand." Ali handed Ashlyn a bag of ice wrapped up in a towel.

"Thank you." Ashlyn's voice sounded so defeated.

"It's gonna be ok, Ashlyn. We've gotten through a lot worse."

"Yeah." Is all Ashlyn replied. She felt horrible, guilty, and now she realized she really hurt her hand. As a goalkeeper that's not the best thing in the world to do.

"Hey!" Ali grabbed Ash's face. "Don't shut down again. Stay with me. It's going to get better. I promise you that."

Ash just sadly nodded. She wasn't sure Ali could keep that promise.

...

A few weeks after the whole 'fist into the Jeep door' incident, Ashlyn really was starting to feel better. She had met with a counselor who had helped her talk through some of the things she was struggling with. Ali even went with her for one of the visits. She revealed that the unresolved anger she had towards her mom mixed with a higher stress level in her everyday life had caused Ashlyn to become depressed and anxious. The doctor taught her ways to open up to Ali so that she could release the emotions that were weighing on her. She also prescribed Ashlyn a small dose of medication that she could take if she felt like things were getting uncontrollable.

Ali noticed a difference in her wife and thanked God that she was going to be ok.

Ali was able to keep her promise after all.

Chapter Text

Ever since Ashlyn started seeing a therapist for her unresolved childhood issues and anxiety Ali has been extra vigilant. Her already natural bent towards worrying was kicked up a few notches out of concern for her wife. Ashlyn was actually doing much better but Ali's worrying gene was in overdrive.

If anything popped up that Ali interpreted as a possible stress on her wife she tried to take care of it on her own without letting Ash know. Her heart was in the right place but all she was accomplishing was to overwhelm herself and keep Ashlyn in the dark about what was going on with their family.

...

"Mama!" Sam yelled as Ashlyn walked in the door. He sprinted towards her and lunged at her with his arms spread open. He did this quite often so Ash was ready to catch her favorite boy.

"Hey, Sam-Bam!" She pulled him up close and gave him a kiss. "Did you miss me?"

"Yep!" The boy was practically bouncing in her arms.

"I missed you too."

"I missed you more!" He argued.

"Nope, definitely me." Ash answered.

"Nuh uh. ME! ME! ME!" He yelled.

Ash was laughing at her excited son when Ali came in hushing him.

"Sam, please be quiet Mama will be home any minute." Ali had rushed towards the noise and scolded her son without seeing the scene at the front door.

"I'm already home. We're just having some fun. No worries." Ash kissed her wife on the cheek after giving her a reassuring look.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were already home. I wanted to clean up the kids' toys a little bit."

"It's fine. They're kids. Since when do we not have toys all over the place? Why would I expect anything different." Ashlyn laughed it off but Ali acted like she didn't get the joke.

"I'm sorry. I will try to keep things a little more organized around here. Eliminate the chaos."

"Wait...'Eliminate the chaos?' That's what my shrink says." Ash looked at her wife suspiciously. Ashlyn continued, "Are you feeling ok?"

"I'm fine. I just want to make sure you are. You know? No need to ask for trouble." Ali answered.

"Yeah, but I love our house just how it is. You don't need to worry about that kind of stuff." Ash said.

"I don't. I was just saying." Ali didn't want to worry her wife with her own worry.

"Ok?" Ash agreed but it came out more like a question than a statement.

During the women's discussion Sam had climbed on his Mama's shoulders and dropped down her back using Ashlyn's neck to hold himself up. He was using his legs to push off her back and slam back into her. Ali grabbed him and set him down on the floor.

"Be careful, Samuel. You're going to hurt Mama." Ali told her son.

Sam looked up at Ash with a worried look. "Mama, I sorry. Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine. Mommy needs to stop worrying so much."

Ashlyn shot her wife a warning look and picked Sam back up and put him on her back where Ali had just removed him. Ash could tell Ali didn't approve but she was acting too protective and it was affecting her bonding time with their son.

Ali didn't object, she just let the worry compound on itself. She left them to go pick up the toys that she thought added to the chaos and worried in silence.

...

Ashlyn later found Ali in the kitchen cleaning everything she could find. Ash walked up behind her wife and gave her a hug from behind. Ali jumped.

"Oh, sorry I startled you. What are you doing? You've been cleaning all day. The kids wanna play soccer in the back yard." Ash said.

"Yeah, I think I'll pass. I need to finish up in here." Ali answered and went right back to scrubbing the counter.

"Hey, stop. The only thing you're allowed to 'pass' is the ball to Lexi as me and Sam are dominating you two in a game of pick up." Ashlyn tried to lighten the mood. Ali wasn't going for it.

"I can't right now, Ash. Maybe later."

"What happened to cleaning the kitchen being my chore. You do most of the cooking, I do the cleaning. That's the deal. Don't worry about this stuff." Ashlyn took her wife's arm and started pulling her towards the back yard.

"Ashlyn, enough!" Ali pulled her arm out of her wife's grasp.

Ashlyn had no idea where her wife's reaction came from. She decided to tread lightly. "Ok. You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"It's not that I don't want to, I just have too much to do." Ali answered with frustration.

"No, actually you don't have to do that. Family time is more important anyway. Come on. I promise I will clean whatever you want me to clean later. I mean, I probably won't do as good of a job as you but who cares, right?" Ash was trying to do the right thing, but Ali was just getting more and more overwhelmed.

"Ashlyn, I don't want you to do it. I can handle it. Just go outside and leave me alone!" Ali knew she was being harsh. She really wasn't trying to be but she was so overwhelmed. Her emotions were threatening to bubble over and she was having great difficulty keeping a lid on them.

Ashlyn stepped backwards. The hurt was evident on her face, giving one more thing for Ali to worry about.

"Ok. If that's what you want." Ashlyn's voice was quiet and cautious.

Ali watched Ashlyn walk away and wanted to stop her but didn't know what to say if she did. She let out a loud sigh and went back to scrubbing a non existent spill on the counter.

Ali couldn't even last 10 minutes. After Ashlyn left she felt horrible. She decided to join her family outside and try to make it up to her wife for acting so cold and disagreeable. If Ashlyn was upset she sure didn't show it. She instructed the kids to applaud and cheer loudly when Ali came to join them. The family played and joked around for almost and hour before Sam went down with a minor injury.

The boy was a little bit overdramatic. Lexi had somehow managed to knock him over and he complained that she hurt his neck. There were no signs of injury. Both women saw that it was an accident and that nothing was even close to coming in contact with his neck. However, you really can't rationalize with a 3 year old. Ashlyn picked him up and held him close. Ali tried to take the crying boy from her. She didn't want Sam's tears to cause Ash any anxiety, but Ashlyn just shrugged her off.

After Sam had calmed down and received kisses from both his moms the boy's neck miraculously healed. He was back to running and jumping into things like normal.

...

Ali had made dinner and called her family to the kitchen to eat together. "Everything looks good." Ashlyn encouraged her wife.

"Thanks." Ali answered as she brought over the last of the food.

"So Lex, how was ballet class?" Ash asked her daughter.

"Umm...ok." Lex hesitated. Ash could tell that she was hiding something.

Ashlyn looked up at her wife, who also seemed to be keeping something to herself. She tried to change the subject.

"So," Ali interrupted, "how is your neck feeling Sammy?"

"It's good, Mommy." Sam answered with a mouthful of chicken.

Ashlyn knew something was up. She turned her attention back to her daughter. "What happened today at ballet, Lex?"

Lexi didn't know what to do. Her neck started to get blotchy and she was starting to panic. "Umm...umm..I...Mommy said I shouldn't tell you."

Ash looked up at Ali and saw the woman close her eyes and take a sharp breath in. Ali knew that if Ash wasn't upset before she definitely is now.

"Oh really," Ash said directing her conversation to her daughter but looking straight at her wife when she asked, "What did Mommy tell you, Alexandra?"

Lexi knew her Mama meant business when she used her full name. She didn't want to go against what Ali told her but she also didn't want to get in trouble with Ashlyn. She looked up at her Mommy begging for help.

"She got in trouble for fighting with another girl today in class." Ali said. "I told her not to bother you with it. I didn't want you to stress out."

Ashlyn nodded in understanding. Ali could see Ashlyn grinding her teeth and trying to contain her anger. Ash turned to her daughter and smiled, "Don't worry, Lex. We can talk about it later."

Ashlyn stood from the table and said, "If you will excuse me, I need to use the bathroom."

Ali followed her out of the room. She knew she was in trouble.

Ash knew Ali would follow her. She wanted to put as much space as possible between them and their children. She went upstairs to their room and prepared herself for an encounter with her wife. Ashlyn sat down at the foot of the bed and stared at the door knowing her wife would be coming in any second.

Sure enough within 5 seconds of Ash's arrival Ali slowly walked in with her head down. She knew she mishandled things. She carefully looked up at her wife and stood there quietly, ready to take whatever she had coming.

Ashlyn didn't say a word. She looked at her wife and Ali knew she was gonna have to really explain herself.

In Ashlyn's mind she was really trying to keep herself open to her wife, but she couldn't understand why her wife would encourage their child to keep something from her. That was over the line.

Ali was stalling. She knew she had to come clean but she didn't want to upset her wife. She was caught between a rock and a hard place. There was no way to win in this. She wronged her wife by trying to protect her, but if she told her the truth she wouldn't be able to protect her in the future because Ash would know what she was up too.

There was a long awkward silence. Ashlyn was frustrated. She sighed loudly and fell down on her back to lay on their bed.

"Alex, I know what you're doing. Don't try to come up with a story that you think will help you hide even more from me. Whatever happened to being honest with each other? I can't do this if you're gonna keep things from me. And I definitely can't do this if you are going to encourage our children to hide things from me. That doesn't work for me!"

Ash just stared at the celling as she said this. Ali felt so ashamed and like she was a failure as a wife and mother. She didn't know how things got so messed up.

"I...um...I told Lex not to bother you with what happened, because I didn't want to stress you out." Ali said with her eyes burning a hole into the floor.

Ashlyn sat back up and watched her wife stare at the carpet. She let out a long and loud breath before she answered her wife.

"Do you really think the best way for you to keep me from having a breakdown is to lie to me and encourage our children to do the same?" It sounded harsh, but it was the truth.

Ali looked up at Ashlyn. She looked miserable. "I didn't really think about it like that. I just wanted to protect you from anything that might hurt you."

"Do you hear how ridiculous that sounds, Alex?" Ash asked.

"Yeah. And it's really stressful too." Ali said. She took a step closer to her wife.

Ashlyn reached out for Ali and let her fall into her arms.

"I'm just so scared." Ali confessed. "I'm so scared for you. I'm sorry. I didn't think that I would be the one hurting you. I was trying to protect you!" Ali was crying. Ash was trying to calm her down.

"I understand, Babe. I really do. But I need you to promise me you will treat me like an equal in our partnership. I need to know what is going on. I need to be able to help you when you need it. I can tell you've been on the verge of losing it for a couple of days. But you have been pushing me away when I try to help. I can't handle that, Ali. That's far worse to me than anything else that could come. I need you to let me help you the way you help me."

Ali had her face in Ashlyn's chest and Ash could feel her nod her head in agreement.

Ashlyn lifted her wife up in her lap so that they were face to face. Ali tried to hide her tear stained face but Ash tipped her head back up to look at her. She wiped her eyes and kissed her gently.

"I'm sorry, Ash." Ali whispered. "I really messed things up. I didn't mean to hurt you." Ali put her head down on Ashlyn's shoulders and hugged her.

"Alright." Ashlyn stood up with Ali still in her arms. "Let's go. We left our kids to fend for themselves. I'm surprised the house hasn't burned down by now." Ali finally cracked a smile and even managed a small chuckle. Ash adjusted Ali so that she was on her hip with one leg wrapped around her front and one around her back. She carried her down the stairs and into the kitchen. The scene may have seemed strange for any other family, but the kids had seen this sort of thing many times before.

Ash set Ali down and took her seat. She pulled Ali back onto her lap and decided that was going to be the seating arrangement for the rest of dinner.

...

Ashlyn decided that she and the kids were in charge of helping Ali relax. Ash turned on a chick flick on Netflix and put Lexi in charge of painting her Mommy's nails. Sam was responsible for massaging her shoulders and giving her hugs and kisses. Ashlyn sat at the opposite end of the couch and massaged her wife's feet and legs. Ali was in heaven. For her the greatest stress in her life was not being connected to her family, so this was just what she needed to recharge and feel as good as new.

Ashlyn was happy to see her wife back to normal. She knew that this was going to be a constant struggle for her, but Ash always knew her main job was to take care of Ali. If Ali is happy then everyone is happy.

After the movie, nail painting, and massages, Ash and Ali put the kids to bed. Ashlyn was ready to continue to massage Ali in a more intimate way but she was stopped mid-kiss.

"What's wrong?" Ash asked extremely confused.

"It's your turn. Let me show you what stress free living feels like. I have some ideas on how to release any tension you might have in those muscles of yours'."

Ashlyn wasn't one to argue with her wife. She was ready and willing to let her wife have her way. She took off her clothes in record time and did a superman jump onto the bed. She rolled onto her back and told Ali to 'have at it.'

Ali let out a laugh and warned her wife that it might take awhile. "A good relaxing massage takes time."

She smirked at her wife and asked, "Where should I start rubbing first?"

Ashlyn's eyes went wide and she smiled at her very appreciative wife. She knew this would be a night she would remember for a long time.

Chapter Text

"Shhh! Shhh! Mommy's home." Ash whispered. "Ok, you guys know what to do when she comes in here."

Ash turned her attention to her wife opening the front door. "Babe, come here!" She yelled to Ali trying to get her to join them in the living room.

Ali was at the door struggling to carry all of the groceries she had just bought. She was close to dropping half of her load on the floor.

"No, you come here!" She yelled at Ashlyn.

"Come on, I asked you first." Ash yelled.

Ali's tone changed from 'Honey, I'm home' to 'If you don't get your butt over here I will kill you' in a matter of seconds. "ASHLYN! I need you to come here!"

Ashlyn whispered to her kids to stay put and that she would be right back.

"Al, what?" She said and as she saw her wife she no longer wondered why her wife needed her. She grabbed the majority of the bags and carried them into the kitchen. She put them on the counter and then grabbed the rest of the groceries Ali was carrying and placed them on the counter, as well.

"Come on." Ash grabbed Ali's arm and started to drag her towards their excited children who were waiting for her.

"Ashlyn, stop. I need to put these away. There's stuff that needs to be refrigerated."

"It will only take a minute." Ash said.

"Ashlyn, you should have helped me in the first place, instead of arguing. We could have all of the frozen and refrigerated items put away by now. Sorry. You're just gonna have to wait."

Ash let out a sigh and tapped her foot a few times. She then had an idea. She would help her wife put all the stuff away. She knew Ali would move too slow for her liking and by the time she got her act together the kids would probably move on from what they had been practicing all afternoon.

Ashlyn went into grocery overdrive. She moved Ali out of the way and rushed by her. Back and forth from countertop to refrigerator. She searched the bags to make sure everything that absolutely needed to be put away was taken care of. Then she turned to her wife and smiled.

"Ok, babe. I took care of all the cold stuff. Come on." Ash grabbed her wife's arm again.

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. I want to put the rest away." Ali was not cooperating.

"Ali, I came when you asked me to come now it's your turn."

"Yes, but when I ask you to come it means I need your help. When you ask me, it means you are up to some kind of shenanigans." Ali paused as if realizing something. "That reminds me, where are our kids?" Ali asked.

"The kids are fine....Shenanigans? Is that all you think I'm about? I am so much more, Babe." Ash said with a smirk on her face. She moved in close to her wife and placed a hand on her waist.

"Oh yes, I know." Ali said sarcastically and smashed Ashlyn's cheeks together and gave her a kiss. She loved her goofy wife. "Ok, Baby. The groceries can wait. What did you need?"

Ashlyn smiled and picked her wife up and threw her over her shoulder. "Just some shenanigans! You know, the usual." She laughed all the way to the living room.

Ashlyn put Ali down on the couch and told her to stay put so she could take in the greatness of what was coming.

The kids were giggling and whispering when the two women got there. Ashlyn instructed them to greet their Mommy so they could get on with the plan. After welcome home hugs and kisses the family was ready to begin.

"Ok Lex, Sam, take your places." Sam and Lex walked about 5 feet directly in front of their seated Mommy. "Now turn around."

Ash had the kids stand so that their backs were facing her wife. This worried Ali a little bit. Knowing her wife, this could be dangerous.

"Wait a minute. We're not playing 'name that smell' are we? Because I am not about that right now." Ali was not gonna be a chump today.

"Babe, you should know that's a game I only play with you when we're alone. Just relax. Trust me." Ash answered.

"Oh, alright." More sarcasm from her unconvinced wife.

"You kids remember what you have to do?" Ash asked.

They both acknowledged that they did remember their parts.

Lex turned around and asked, "Mama, are you ready?"

"You know it, girl!" Ash answered. And held up one finger...two fingers...three fingers...and...

"Hey DJ!" Lex yelled with her head turned over her left shoulder, hands on her hips and looking at Ashlyn.

Samuel finished the sentence for his sister, punched at the air, and said "Hit it!"

Ashlyn pushed play on her iPod and the next thing Ali heard was some funky dance music.

Ashlyn joined her kids standing in front of Ali in a line with their backs toward her and said, "Ready? 3, 2, 1, GO!"

Ali started cracking up at the scene in front of her. Her wife and children were shaking their butts like a polaroid picture.

Once Ali caught her breath and stopped laughing enough she interrupted her wife's little shake-n-bake move and asked her, "You taught our children to twerk?"

Ash stopped her dancing and told her wife, "Well, we call it the 'shake yo booty dance' but yeah, we've been practicing all day."

"You're ridiculous."

"Mommy," Sam cut in, "shake yo booty too. Like me!" He gave her a very energetic example of what to do.

Ali laughed at her son's cuteness and looked at her wife when she answered, "That's a game I only play with your Mama when we're alone." Both Ali and Ash busted out with laughter.

Ash nodded knowingly. "You know it."

Sam was clueless about what the two women were insinuating.

"I'll tell you what. Why don't we turn this booty dance show into an all out dance party."

The family spent the rest of the afternoon dancing their hearts out while the groceries sat on the counter until the party came to an end. Ashlyn was right, Ali thought. The groceries could wait. She was glad she didn't miss all the fun with her kids and crazy wife.

...

After the impromptu dance party, the family had to get back into their regular game day routine. The family had a quick dinner together and the women dropped the kids off at Ali's dad's house. He would later bring them to watch their parents a little closer to game time.

The team went through pre-game instructions and warm ups. They went through player introductions and the national anthem. Ali took her place with Sincy, the captain for Portland, did the coin flip and won the ball to start the first half.

The game was a good one. Play-off hopes were still alive for both teams, but not guaranteed for either. Portland had recently hit their offensive stride and was proving to be a difficult task to defend.

Ashlyn had a few run ins with a speedy Alex Morgan and warned her that if she didn't slow it down then she was gonna have to call off their friendship. And she didn't even want to know what would happen if she scored on her.

It wasn't Alex that poked a ball passed her, it was Tobin. Tobin Heath aka Samuel's 'girlfriend.' Tobin didn't overly celebrate. Ashlyn is one of her good friends so she didn't want to rub it in. She did, however, hold her hands up in the shape of a heart and raised it up towards where the Krieger-Harris kids were sitting in the stands. Ashlyn couldn't stay too mad at her after that. She knew Tobin just made Sam's night.

The game ended in a tie, thanks to an equalizer from Christine Nairn. After the game Ali went straight for the stands, as usual, and let her children greet their friends on the field. Samuel ran straight for Tobin, who held him the entire time during cool down and autographs. She returned him to his parents when the team had to go change.

After everyone cleaned up and changed the Krieger-Harris family made plans to get together with Tobin, Alex, Ocho, Niki, Allie, Vero, Nadine, and Rachel. At first the plan was to leave the kids with their grandpa but Sammy cried hysterically about not being able to hang out with Tobin. Tobin pretended like she didn't care either way, but she secretly was disappointed too when she heard the boy wouldn't be around. It all worked out though, and the two were inseparable.

...

The original plan was to go get drinks and something to eat with the women, but with the addition of two little ones they decided a night in would be better. Lexi was killing it with her dance moves. Alex and Vero were breaking it down with her. The house was loud and filled with laughter and music.

Sam took Tobin by the hand and led her out to the back yard where it was more quiet. He wanted to introduce her to Monster so they could play together.

"Monster likes quiet." Sam informed Tobin.

"I like quiet too." Tobin answered.

"Hey, watch this, Toby." Sam was all about impressing Tobin. Whenever they got together he wanted to show off his skills.

Sam was jumping all over the place. Monster was barking at him and chasing him around the yard. Sam was doing flying kicks and karate chopping the air. He ran up to a tree and kicked at it. This gave Tobin an idea.

"Hey Sam-Bam, you ever climb this guy?" She patted the tree that he had just assaulted.

Sam looked up at the big tree. It seemed ginormous to the little boy. He shook his head no and had a worried look on his face.

"You know, when I was growing up, my sisters used to call me 'monkey.' Because I was always climbing on things. Especially trees like this one."

"My Mama calls me monkey some times."

"Hey, that's something we have in common, then. So...do you want to help me climb this tree?"

"Oooh...umm...ok." He answered nervously.

Tobin could tell he was nervous, so she showed him how she climbs. She pulled herself up a couple of branches and saw his face break out into a big smile. She jumped down and then held him up so he could grab a branch and pull himself up. Once he was safe on the branch she climbed up and sat next to them. They went a few branches higher but she knew not to get too crazy with a 3 year old. She didn't want her good friends to regret entrusting him into her care.

Ali, being the good mother that she is, saw that Sam had taken Tobin out back to play. She decided to check up on them after a while, just to make sure her son wasn't wearing Tobin out. Although, if there is any adult capable of keeping up with the boy, it's Tobin. Her and Ashlyn are probably the only two people Ali knows who can match his outgoing and energetic personality. She feels lucky to have both of them in his life.

At first Ali couldn't find them. She looked everywhere and there was no sign of Tobin or Sam. She did see Monster laying down in front of their big oak tree. She walked towards him and that's when she saw them. They were sitting on a tree branch about 5 feet off the ground. Both were straddling a very solid looking tree limb. Tobin had Sam's back snuggled up against her front. She held onto him securely with both arms around his stomach. Sam had his hands on top of Tobin's arms and held tightly to her hands. Ali was grateful that Tobin was making sure to keep Sammy safe, even though they weren't very high off the ground.

Ali heard Tobin telling her son the story about the "Hopeful Monkey."

She said that there were some monkeys that lived in a jungle and even though they were made to climb they were too afraid and lived on the ground. They would often become scared when it became dark out because they could only see a few inches in front of them.

And that made them afraid because they were sure that there were lots of scary things out there, even though they couldn't see them. One day the 'hopeful monkey' decided that he wanted to climb out of the darkness and look for the light. He was braver than all the rest of the monkeys because he believed that there was more than just darkness and he wasn't going to give up until he found it.

When he climbed up the tree, though he was scared, he kept going because his heart was filled with hope. It was hard and he got tired, but he kept climbing, until he finally broke through to the top of the tree and saw the bright moon and sky filled with stars. He saw that there was so much more to see than the few inches of darkness below. He decided from now on, no matter how dark it got on the ground he would always choose to live in the light.

Ali watched as her son's eyes were filled with wonder. She knew Tobin well enough that one day, when Sam was older and going through a dark time, that Tobin would remind him of the story of the 'Hopeful Monkey' and encourage him to look for the light.

The thought of her friend caring about her son and his outlook on his future struggles made her tear up. She couldn't believe the thoughtfulness of someone who appeared so chill and out of it most the times. Everyone knew there was much more going on in Tobin's head than what she would share, but to hear her share this depth with her 3 year old son was something she would truly cherish forever.

Ali made sure the story was over and invited the two to join her inside with the rest of the group for dessert. She made sure to give Tobin a big hug when their guests left for the evening. She was very thankful that Tobin would take the time to invest in her son. She knew that she probably would have liked to spend time with Ashlyn and joke around with her and Alex. But she chose to spend her time where it would do the most good. Which didn't surprise her at all.

...

Ash finished tucking in Sam and Lex and found her wife in the master bathroom getting ready for bed. "Hey babe, did you have fun tonight?" Ash asked with a slightly raised voice. She was sitting on their bed and watching her wife do her nightly routine.

"Yeah, I had a great time. I'm glad it all worked out." Ali answered.

"I wish I would have gotten a chance to hang with Tobin a little bit, though." Ash said. "But I guess it's ok. Her and Alex are coming over tomorrow."

"They are? I didn't know that." Ali answered.

"Alex set it all up. She asked if they could hang out and take the kids. They're in DC for an extra day so it worked out perfectly. She invited you to go with her and Lex to do something girly and then I'll probably chill with Tobs and Sam. We might break out the long boards. Who knows?"

Ali smiled and joined her wife in their bed. She gave her a kiss on the lips and told her about the story Tobin had shared with Samuel.

"That's awesome." Ash couldn't believe her goofy friend would do that. "I figured they were just out back jumping on stuff and causing trouble."

"Me too." Ali laughed. "We need to make sure we let her know how much it means to us that she loves our kid like she does."

"Yeah, maybe I will stop telling embarrassing college stories about her to Alex. Or maybe not." Ash laughed and turned off the bedside light. Both women fell asleep with a smile on their face and a grateful heart.

Chapter Text

"Mommy! Toby's here! Toby's here! Toby's here!" Samuel was jumping up and down and yelling at the top of his lungs. He was standing right at the door but was too excited to actually open it.

"Baby," Ali said to her son, "why don't you let them in...and make sure you hug Alex before you attack Tobin."

"Ok, Mommy." Sam answered her, as his little hands struggled to turn the door knob. He opened the door and got really shy when he saw the two women. He put his head down and looked towards Alex's feet. He went straight to her and hugged her with one arm around her waist and the other around her legs.

Alex bent down and embraced the boy. He managed to whisper a soft 'hi' before he pulled away. Alex was all too familiar with Sam's fascination with her girlfriend. She was used to him completely ignoring her if Tobin was around. So this was actually a pleasant surprise for her.

When Sam separated himself from Alex it took him about a millisecond to lunge himself into Tobin's arms. She picked him up so that their faces were really close and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He had one of his hands wrapped around her neck and the other was petting the side of her head like he does to Monster.

Ali joined the women at the door and welcomed them in. "Sorry, I think his excitement to see you two made him forget to invite you in."

"I think you mean his excitement to see this one." Alex said pointing towards Tobin.

"He loves you both." Ali interjected.

"I can tell by the way he hasn't stopped staring at Tobin since we got here." Alex said sarcastically and laughed.

Ali gave Sam a nudge to get his attention and told him to go get his Mama and sister.

"Ok, Mommy." Tobin set him down and the three waited in the kitchen for the rest of the brood to join them.

Sammy was the only one to return. "Mommy, Mama said she needs help with Lexi."

Ali gave her son a kiss and made sure Alex and Tobin were ok before she left.

...

Ali walked into Lexi's room and found her crying in her wife's shoulder.

"What happened?" Ali rushed to them concerned that her daughter might be hurt.

"She says she's overwhelmed. It started with her wanting to get her hair just right for you and Alex and turned into this." Ashlyn whispered to her wife, while nodding toward their sobbing daughter. "I tried to tell her that you guys were gonna go get your hair done so it didn't need to be perfect and that apparently was the wrong thing to say."

"Oh, my sweet girl." Ali put her hand on Lexi's head and gave her a kiss. She turned her attention to Ashlyn, "I'll take her. Why don't you finish up breakfast for our guests." Ashlyn gave the girl to Ali and left her to do her magic.

...

Both Ali and Lex joined breakfast after a short delay. Ali had her daughter looking fabulous and at the encouragement of Ashlyn everyone made sure to let her know how great she looked as soon as they saw her. Lexi's confidence grew by the second. The table was all laughs and giggles in no time.

Ali helped her wife finish bringing the food to the table and noticed her son whispering something into Tobin's ear. He was sitting contently in her lap and had both hands cupped around his mouth so that no one else could hear what he was saying. The next thing she saw was Sammy fish out the little monkey Ash found in his toy box earlier that morning. Tobin made a big deal out of how cool the monkey was and Sam felt like he had a real treasure in his hand. This brought a smile to Ali's face and reminded her to let Tobin know how much she means to their family and to thank her for sharing the monkey story with him the previous night.

The group had decided over breakfast to split up for the first part of the day and then meet at a local street fair nearby. Both groups were excited to spend some quality time together.

Ali, Alex and Lexi got their hair done, massages, and manicures. Lexi was in heaven. All three were in heaven, actually. Lexi felt much more relaxed. It didn't hurt that Alex kept mentioning how pretty she looked.

Ash, Tobin and Sam went to the beach. They ended up riding longboards along the sidewalk and Sam rode his bike with training wheels. It was a little too cold to go swimming so the three of them browsed the shops and got ice cream. They chased each other on the beach and made a sand kingdom. They agreed that if it was a real kingdom then Ali was the queen, because she is the queen of everything anyways, and Sam would be a mighty knight who protected her.

Ashlyn made sure to text a picture of Sam the Knight in front of Queen Mommy's Sand Kingdom to Ali. Ash explained that Sam was probably going to call her Queen Mommy for awhile, because he was pretty excited when he came up with her new name. Queen Ali had no objections to her new title.

...

The street fair was turning out to be a great idea. It had kiddie rides that wouldn't cause Sam to throw up the 3 churros he ate as soon as they got there. The boy ate one all on his own, and Tobin let him have her's when she saw how much he liked it. The third one belonged to Lexi who said she was 'watching her figure.' She must have overheard someone say that at the spa earlier that day, because her parents are very careful about mentioning anything that would sound like her body wasn't perfect just the way it is.

Later that evening, Sam had washed down his churros with a root beer float. The float, churros and ice cream from earlier were making war in his stomach. He spent the rest of the night in Ashlyn's arms with his face pressed against her neck.

Alex and Tobin decided to take Lexi on the Ferris wheel. Ash grabbed for Ali's hand with her free hand and pulled her in close. Even though they had been married for four years they still missed each other when they were apart -even if just for a few hours.

"Did you have fun with Tobin?" Ali asked.

"Yeah, she's a trip." Ash answered. "I'm surprised Sam is letting her out of his sight. He must really be feeling queazy."

"Poor little guy." Ali looked at her son with sadness. She could tell he was feeling bad.

"Soooo..." Ali said. She was aching to tell her wife the newest gossip she had heard from Alex.

"Soooo..." Ash teased her, knowing she was about to spill.

"Alex told me she has been dropping hints like crazy to Tobin about getting married. Did Tobin mention anything?"

"Oh really? Our little Alex is ready to take the plunge, eh."

Ali couldn't tell if her wife was surprised or hiding possible information. This only made her more nosey.

"Baby, did Tobin say anything to you?" Ali pulled on Ashlyn's arm trying to get her to talk.

"She might have mentioned something when Sam was busy building Queen Mommy's sand kingdom." Ashlyn knew her wife was about to explode with curiosity.

"Well?"

Well?...What?" Ash was really pushing it.

"Well, what did she say? Come on, Ash! You're killing me!" Ali was so dramatic.

Ash laughed at her beautiful wife. She wondered how she got so lucky.

"Well," Ash said. "since we have little ears around, I have to be careful what I say."

Ashlyn paused. She paused too long in her wife's opinion.

Ali stopped walking and pulled at Ashlyn's arm to make her stop, as well.

"Spill it!" She quietly whisper-yelled at her wife.

Ashlyn laughed at Ali's heightened stress level. "Ok, babe. Relax. She told me that she had been thinking about it and she knew that Alex is on the same page. But she felt like she wasn't ready because she has doubts about her ability to settle down and Alex being 'happy with her long term.' Those are her words, not mine."

"Happy with her long-term....Does she think Alex is just playing her or what?" Ali was confused.

"I asked her that but in different words. She said she felt that a goofy girl like her couldn't win herself someone like Alex. She said that she felt like someone with as much to offer as Alex would one day wake up and realize that someone like Tobin wasn't enough."

Ali looked so sad when she heard Tobin's thoughts. "Is she crazy? She's great!" Ali defended Tobin even though she wasn't there to hear it.

"I know that!" Ashlyn said. She led her wife to a bench and they both sat down. Sam was asleep by now and they could really talk.

"You know how religious her family is. She says that even though they have been loving towards both her and Alex, she feels like marriage and making it permanent might not go over well."

"Tobin is super religious, too. She hasn't lost her faith because she's in a relationship with Alex."

"I know, Al. She has come to terms with all of that. She is just worried that with the possibility of her family being let down and putting pressure on her that Alex might feel like it's just too hard. She doesn't think she could handle that. And she doesn't want to be the cause of any long term hurt to the woman she loves. I can understand that."

"You can understand that?" Ali was taken back to a conversation she overheard between Ash and her brother about causing their significant other to suffer as a reward for them choosing to love them.

"First off Ash, I want to address you causing 'long-term hurt' later because you're wrong...but what did you tell her? You didn't tell her she was right did you?"

"Ok, chill. You don't need to address anything with me later, and I told her that I thought it was obvious that Alex loved her and would love her for the rest of her life."

"Ok, and..."

"And...I told her that I never thought a goofy girl like me would ever be able to land a hot Alex either, but look what happened." Ash said with a smirk. She had been waiting to tell her wife that since the conversation started.

"Good answer!" Ali cuddled into Ashlyn's side and gave her a kiss on the lips. "So what did Tobin say to that?"

"She agreed that I married up and that you are way out of my league." Ashlyn laughed and went on, "She said she really loves her and once their contracts with Portland are finalized next year, and she knows they are gonna be together in the same city, on the same team every day, she is gonna ask Alex to look for a house together. And when they find the one, she is gonna ask her to marry her."

"Wow. It sounds like she already knew what she wanted to do before you even started talking."

"She did. She was just having doubts. I guess she sees you and me and realizes it can work. It more than works. It's way better than anything else, really." Ashlyn was super serious when she said this. She wasn't trying to flirt or impress Ali. She just spoke the truth.

Ash continued as Ali looked on with eyes filled with love, "Being so far away was hard on her. She loved the city, the people, the team...but none of them could compare to Alex. Our little nomad has finally realized that home isn't a place but a person. And Alex is that person for her."

Ali put her head on Ashlyn's free shoulder, because the other one had a sweaty boy's head on it, and hugged her waist. They stayed that way for several minutes before Alex, Tobin and Lexi found them.

"You losers ready?" Tobin asked.

Ali looked up at Tobin like she had just said the sweetest thing to them. Alex noticed.

"What's going on over here?" Alex asked.

"Oh nothing. Ali just has hearts in her eyes. She's a sap for goofy girls." Ash answered.

"Oh shut up!" Ali smacked her wife on the stomach and leaned in closer to her. "I only have eyes for one goofy girl."

Tobin knew right away what the two were talking about before they got there, so she decided to change the subject. "So, how's my little boyfriend feeling?"

Ashlyn stood up and handed him to her. "Here, I am sure you can make him feel better. I have to kiss my wife." Ash brusquely grabbed Ali and gave her a PG-13 kind of kiss right there in the middle of the fair. She made sure Tobin could hear her when she said, "I'm glad I married you, Alex!"

Tobin blushed and turned her head towards her own Alex. "These two need to get a room."

"I think it's sweet." Alex said.

"Yeah, it is. One day it will be us, though." Tobin said under her breath. She thought no one heard her, but Alex did. Alex tried to hide her smile, but Ash noticed.

It really is true, Ash thought, girls named Alex really are suckers for goofy girls.

Chapter Text

"Ashlyn, relax. Geeze, I'm sure whatever it is, it's no big deal." Ali tried to calm her anxious wife.

"How can you say that? Unless you know what it is. Did your dad say what this is about?" Ash replied. She was begging to know the reason Ali's dad had requested to meet with her alone.

"Baby, he didn't say. He said it was between you and him. But it's my dad. He loves you. You don't have to worry so much about it."

"Doesn't he know I've been having anxiety issues lately?" Ash said. "He probably thinks that I have been a bad wife to you or a bad mother to the kids. Somehow he's disappointed in me. I promised him when I asked permission to marry you that I would take care of you and treat you right. Maybe he thinks I haven't done that. What if..."

Ashlyn's blubbering was stopped by Ali's hand over her mouth. "Stop! You are making ME nervous now!" Ali removed her hand and gave her a stern look. Ashlyn nodded in understanding that she needed to calm down.

Ali continued when she saw Ash had at least settled down a little. "Baby, for real. My dad loves you so much. I really don't think you have to worry."

"Yeah but..." Ashlyn paused "...you know how he is. He is happier not saying a word half the time. He just goes with the flow. Why in the world would he possibly want to meet with me? He must be upset with me about something." Ashlyn started to absent-mindedly chew on her thumbnail.

Ash didn't want to disappoint Ali or her family. She knew that Ali's father, Ken, was a good man who valued taking care of those he loved. That was always his number one priority. She just knew she must have not measured up to his expectations. She thought that he must regret ever giving permission for her to marry his one and only daughter.

Ali took Ashlyn's hand so that she would stop biting off what little nail she had left and held it next to her own heart. "Listen Ashlyn, you are everything to me. My dad knows that. He knows how happy you make me. You have nothing to worry about. I promise."

Ali leaned in close to her and kissed her. She honestly had no clue why in the world her dad, who normally is quiet and prefers to be as far from drama as possible, would all of a sudden take the initiative to talk to Ashlyn. Even though it was out of the ordinary, she was confident everything would be ok.

...

"Al, is what I'm wearing ok?" Ashlyn yelled from their bedroom. She was nervous. Her father-in-law would be there any minute. She was heading downstairs to where her wife was making dinner for the rest of the family.

"Mama, I think you look pretty." Sam pulled on Ash's hand as he stood at the bottom of the steps. He asked to be picked up by lifting his arms up. Ashlyn picked him up. He put his hands on the sides of her face. He stretched her skin with his fingers and then released it back to where it started.

"Mama, you're the prettiest!" The boy put both hands around her neck and smashed their faces together. Ashlyn loved how affectionate her son was. Maybe his pep talk would help her get through the night.

"Thank you, Sam. You're the handsomest guy I know." She said and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"What about me?" Ali's dad asked. His daughter had let him in and was on her way to let Ash know he had arrived.

"Umm, yeah...you too, Mr. Krieger." Ash answered nervously. Maybe her son's pep talk wasn't gonna be enough, after all.

"Ashlyn," he smiled, "you haven't called me Mr. Krieger in years."

"Oh,uh, sorry...Ken." Ashlyn stuttered.

Ali grabbed her dad's arm and said, "For some reason she's nervous about tonight, Daddy. So be nice!""

Ashlyn gave Ali the dirtiest of looks. "I'm not nervous!"

"There's nothing to be nervous about. I'm gonna give my grandkids kisses and then we can go." He took Sam from Ash's arms and carried him to go find Lexi.

Ashlyn took this opportunity to throw a few curse words Ali's way and make sure she knew she felt like throwing up.

"Baby, I'm sorry. You're just so cute when you're nervous." Ali gave Ash a hug, that Ashlyn did not return.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes and said, "I'll remind you of this little stunt after your dad kicks me out of the family."

Ali just laughed. She really had no sympathy for Ashlyn's over reaction to the situation.

...

The whole ride to the restaurant was, for the most part, silent. Ali's dad wasn't much of a talker and Ashlyn was scared out of her mind. She didn't have the wits about her to try to charm him during the awkwardness.

They ordered their food and barely said a word to each other. He asked a few of the usual questions like, 'How's work? How are the kids?', those kind of things. But he still seemed miles away from the reason they were there. All Ashlyn could think about was that he must be stalling, because he knows a terrible thing is about to happen.

Ashlyn couldn't eat much. Her stomach was doing somersaults and her head was spinning. Mr. Krieger paid for the bill and asked if Ashlyn wanted to go for a walk. She agreed and knew that her time was coming. There would be no more stalling. Even though she hated the awkwardness and the 'not knowing,' it was far better than 'knowing' and having a broken heart.

Mr. Krieger led her to a little park that had a small kid-sized soccer field with mini goals on each end. He held out his arm for Ashlyn to hold while he led her down some steps toward the field. There were two benches on the sidelines where the teams would sit during games. He invited her to sit on one of the benches while he stood in front of her.

"Ashlyn." Ken said. "This is where I brought Kyle and Ali to play soccer when they were about Sam's age. I used to love watching them. Especially my little girl run around all the boys and show them what a star looks like."

Ashlyn had heard the stories of how good Ali was, even at such a young age. Kyle always hated that his little sister was so much better than him.

"Some of my happiest family memories happened here. Both my kids have made me so proud." Ali's father started to tear up, making Ashlyn very uncomfortable. She had never seen this side of her father-in-law before. He was always so stoic.

"Ashlyn, I wanted to talk to you about what happened with your father."

Well, that was unexpected and probably the only thing that could be more uncomfortable for Ashlyn to talk about than all of the things she was imagining.

"I didn't like how all of that happened." He said.

Ashlyn finally found her voice. "I'm sorry you had to see that. Honestly, that's the first time we talked in over two decades." She felt so ashamed. What did Mr. Krieger think his daughter had married into? He must have thought the worst.

"Ashlyn, I didn't like how he spoke to you." Ken said, very seriously.

Ashlyn wasn't sure how to respond to that, so she didn't. She stayed completely silent.

Ken went on, "I really didn't like what he said. Ali never told me about the difficulties you had with him until after that day. She explained a few things, but not too much. She said she didn't want to say more than you would want her to say. I understand why she would say that. But I heard enough to know I didn't like it."

Ash was really uncomfortable now. Ken seemed pretty uncomfortable too. Ashlyn put her head down and stared at the grass below. She heard Mr. Krieger move. She looked up to find him kneeling in front of her and staring right at her. She felt a lump rising in her throat.

"Ashlyn," he said and took her hand. All Ash could think about was how uncomfortable she was. "I have been thinking about that day when he visited you and about everything Ali told me. I have been thinking about it ever since...." He paused. Tears were starting to gather in Ashlyn's eyes and all she wanted to do was to run, but she couldn't because it was Ali's dad. What would he think? He probably already felt like she wasn't good enough.

Ali's dad took a long breath in and then continued. "I can't get it all out of my head. I wanted you to know. I wanted to tell you for so long. I'm not good with words, though..." He stopped again. He appeared to be trying to find the right words to explain. "I wanted to say that..." He looked down at the ground and then back up at Ashlyn and said, "I love you."

His eyes were wet from tears threatening to spill. "And I wanted to say that anyone that can't see how amazing you are, doesn't deserve you." He wiped away a stray tear that escaped his eyes and then wiped the streams that were flowing from Ashlyn's.

"Ashlyn, I'm angry that he hurt you. I wish I could have protected you when you were little." He dropped Ashlyn's hand, put both his hands on her shoulders and said, "It would mean a lot to me if you would call me dad...because you really deserve one."

Well that did it. Both of them were a mess of tears. Ashlyn sprung off the bench and hugged him. He held onto her tight. He meant what he said about wanting to protect her. He considered her his own daughter and had felt that way for a long time.

...

Ali was surprised when only her dad entered through the front door. He gave her a small smile and told her that her wife was outside and probably needed her. This worried Ali. She thought maybe Ashlyn was right and her dad was upset with her. Why else would she need her to talk to her outside?

Ali rushed outside and found her wife sitting on the front porch swing. "Hey baby, is everything alright?" Ali asked cautiously. Ashlyn looked like she had been crying.

Ashlyn pulled Ali next to her and laid her head on her chest. She quietly explained what had just happened. "Your dad asked me to call him 'Dad.' He said he wished I was his daughter, so he could've protected me. He said he wanted to be my dad, because he thought I was amazing and I deserved to have a one."

Ali felt Ashlyn's wet tears on her shirt. "Oh yeah, and he told me he loved me."

Ali didn't know what to say. Her heart was exploding with emotions. She knew her wife was conflicted with hurt from her past but also with awe at what Ali's dad had just given to her. He had given her the acceptance and love that she had always wanted from a father. Ali knew she had to try to hold it together at least for a little bit so that Ashlyn could soak up her strength.

Ali held Ashlyn on the porch swing for a long time that night. She could feel Ashlyn's heart starting to heal. She could feel her own heart bursting with love.

Chapter Text

The Krieger-Harris family was shuffling out of the car. Ali unloaded a backpack with the morning's necessities, while Ashlyn unloaded the kids. They were meeting Ali's dad for a D.C. Family Fun Run to raise money for cancer research. The kids were as cute as ever with their over-sized bright purple fun-run shirts. Lexi had the extra fabric on her shirt pulled to the side and tied up in a knot. Ali convinced her that it was very fashionable to wear it that way. Little Sammy was swimming in his shirt. It reached all the way past his knees.

"Ashlyn! I told you to tuck his shirt in." Ali wanted her kids to look as good as possible.

"Alex, come and do it yourself if you think he needs it. The shirt sticks out past the bottom of his shorts when I tucked it in. Is that the look you're going for?" Ash was irritated that her wife was harping on something so insignificant. She tried it and it didn't work. Ali needed to trust her judgment and let it go.

Ali shoved the backpack at her wife and took her son. She set him down and knelt down next to him trying to figure out the best way to get his shirt situated. Ashlyn was making faces at Sam the whole time behind her back so the boy would not hold still. He was cracking up from the moment she started to the moment she stopped. She ended up settling for just tucking it in a little bit in the front of his shorts and letting it hang down the back. Ashlyn had to admit it did look better.

Ali grabbed the bag from Ashlyn and pinched her arm. "I know you were making him laugh. I really wish I didn't have to raise three kids!"

Ashlyn flinched from the pain caused by Ali's angry pinch and denied her accusations. "I would never....and don't be so quick to complain about raising three kids. You never know what the future may hold."

Ashlyn was such a jerk. And she was also right. They had been talking about adding another child or two to the mix. The how and when were the biggest questions. They definitely wanted more children. They were content with the two blessings they already had, but felt they had a special calling on their lives. And that purpose was to love those who needed it most.

"Mama, up." Sam raised his hands up not realizing the serious moment his parents were having.

Ashlyn gave her wife a wink, because she knew she won that discussion, and picked the boy up and started talking about bugs. Ali just shook her head smiling. Her life would never be boring as long as Ashlyn was around...and she loved it.

The family met up with Mr. Krieger, who had already checked them all in. Sammy yelled for him with excitement. "Grandpa!" He stretched out to him and gave him a hug. Ashlyn tried to just hand him over but Sam was acting a little clingy to her today. As soon as she started angling him towards Ken to hold, he reached back and practically choked her neck.

"No, Mama! I wanna stay with you!"

Ali let her dad know that he had been like this all day. He wouldn't even let her hold him while Ashlyn loaded the Jeep this morning. He stood next to her and held on to her leg the whole time.

"What can I say?" Ash bragged. "The boy has good taste."

"What are you saying about my dad?" Ali joked. "You better watch it, woman."

"I wasn't saying it about your dad. I was saying it about you." Ash wagged her eyebrows and smirked at her cute wife. Then she finished it off with a "So deal with it."

Ali's dad cut in. "Ok, girls. Let's behave. Especially in front of the children." All three of the adults laughed.

Ali had picked up the family's Fun Run shirts earlier that month and had 'TEAM KRIEGER' put on the back. Ali's grandmother, Ken's mom, had died of colon cancer. It happened before Ali was born so she never knew her, but it was important for her family to support her dad and the cause. They wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

...

The family jogged, but mostly walked the 5K run with Mr. Krieger. Once they crossed the finish line Mr. Krieger went on to finish a half marathon. They had arranged before hand to meet back at the house for a late lunch afterwards.

Mr. Krieger arrived at about 2:00pm. Ashlyn and Sam grilled steaks for the adults and hot dogs for the kids. Ali and Lex already had the picnic table in the back all set up and ready, including mac and cheese, cole slaw, veggies, and watermelon. They wanted everything perfect for Mr. Krieger.

They drank sweet tea and talked through the night. Ash and Ali asked Ken to share stories about him and his mom growing up. They wanted to really spend the day celebrating the woman.

Sam ended up getting bored of the conversation and dragged Ashlyn to their big oak tree. Ali watched the two of them lay flat on the ground and giggle their hearts out. They would point to who knows what in the branches above them and have long conversations about them. She watched her son jump on top of Ashlyn's chest and play with her face and hair. After much laughter and some wrestling she saw her son finally lay down flat against her wife's chest and fall asleep.

She got up to put her son to bed, but her dad stopped her. "Let me." He said. He approached the two and instead of picking up Samuel he laid down next to Ashlyn. Ali smiled and thought that maybe Sam wasn't the only one attached to Ashlyn today.

"Nice tree." Ali's dad said. He always had his own way with words.

"Thanks. It came with the house." Ash joked.

"Yeah, I know. Nice house, too."

"Thanks. It came with the lawn." They both shared a laugh.

"I was thinking maybe you and I could build a tree house for the kids. I mean, if that's something you would be interested in." Ali's dad said.

"Sure. I think that's something the kids would really like. Would we have to cut a lot of branches off the tree? How does that work?"

"We can figure that out after we figure out what you want the tree house to look like and the size and all that."

"Hmm." Ash hummed in thought."Do you think Ali would go for it? She would probably think it wasn't safe."

"We'll work on her. We can plan it now and build it when the kids are a little bit bigger. My grandkids deserve to have a tree house."

They both laughed thinking about the high probability of Ali worrying about every possible problem that could ever happen in the history of the world.

"She would probably want life jackets in the tree house in case there is a giant tidal wave that floods DC." Ashlyn joked.

"Maybe we should put crucifixes and garlic just in case vampires attack." Ken added.

At that precise moment Ali walked up. "Ok you two, stop making fun of me. I'm gonna put the kids to bed and you guys need to come up with a really good way to apologize. I prefer chocolate over flowers." Ali scooped up Sam and left her wife and dad laughing as she went on her way.

"You're good for my daughter." All of a sudden Mr. Krieger got serious. "I watch you with her and the kids, and I know we are all blessed to have you."

Ashlyn had gained a little confidence from the last time they had a serious conversation and decided to be a little sarcastic with her response. "Yeah, you really are." They both laughed at that.

Mr. Krieger reached for her hand and squeezed before quickly letting go. "I really am serious, though. You can always tell when someone is a good parent by how their child acts around them. I look at Sam and see that you are like a superhero to him. It's awesome."

"Thanks, Ken." Ash sincerely said.

"And about that!" He said. "I thought we agreed that you would start calling me dad. I know it might be weird at first, but you're my daughter and that's it. My other two kids call me everything you can think of. I need at least one of my kids to call me 'dad.' "

That made Ash smile. Kyle and Ali had a million nicknames for their dad. They did actually also call him Dad, but still. She got the point.

"Alright Big Ken...I mean...Dad." She couldn't be too serious. They were laying under an oak tree and talking about vampires and tidal waves, for crying out loud.

There little Father-Daughter moment was interrupted by Samuel screaming "MAMA!!!!" at the top of his lungs. She leapt up and ran towards his bedroom. Both Ashlyn and Ken came running through his door.

"Is everyone ok?" Ash asked.

"We're fine. Sam woke up as I was tucking him in and screamed when he didn't see you." Ali seemed a little hurt and a lot frustrated.

Ash sat down next to Sam and he climbed in her arms. "What's going on Sam-Bam? Mommy always does a good job at tucking you in."

"I want you to do it!" He said through angry tears. Monster seemed to be really upset because his boy was crying. The dog licked Sam's face but Sam pushed him away.

"I don't get what is going on with him lately." Ali said.

Ashlyn rubbed Sam's back and gave Ali a concerned look. "I have no idea, either."

Ken decided to remind the women that he was still there. He quickly said his goodbyes and left them to figure out what to do about their son.

They decided to let both Sam and Monster sleep in their bed for the night. Sam held tightly to Ashlyn the entire night. Ash didn't notice but he woke up several times during the night and seemed scared. Once he realized where he was and who he was with, he would fall back to sleep. Ash didn't notice. But Ali did.

...

The next morning Sammy and Ashlyn went on a special Mama-son date. Ashlyn wanted to have another go at figuring out what was bothering Sam. She took him to the park and tried to really wear him out. She knew that he would do better at sitting still and paying attention if he didn't have a lot of pent up energy. They brought Monster along to help with the energy problem.

Ash watched Sam chase Monster for a long time before calling them to come to her and sit on a nearby bench. She tied Monster up and lifted Sam into her lap.

"Hey buddy. I wanted to ask you something." She said.

"Ok, Mama." He replied without a care in the world.

"Do you remember what happened last night? Do you remember yelling at Mommy and pushing Monster away when he tried to give you kisses?"

The boy's demeanor changed instantly.

"Samuel....do you remember?" The boy put his head down and stuck out his lower lip. She could tell he felt bad, she just wasn't sure what he was feeling bad about.

"Sam." She lifted up his face so that she could look into his eyes. "Why did you yell at Mommy yesterday when she tried to tuck you in?"

"Cuz I wanted you?" He whined.

"But why? Mommy has put you to bed millions of times."

"I don't want you to leave." He said and put his head back down.

"Wait...what did you say, Sam? I don't think I heard you right." Ash thought she couldn't possibly have heard what she just heard.

"Mommy said you were sad cuz of family. I didn't mean to make you sad, Mama." The boy started crying and buried his head into her shoulder. He grabbed so tightly to her shirt, it broke her heart. It was like he thought if he didn't hold tight he would lose her.

Ashlyn spent the rest of the morning reassuring him that she would never leave him, Lexi or Ali. There would never be anything that could make her want to leave him. She also told him that he only ever made her happy and that the people that made her sad were long gone and far away.

...

The two, plus a happy dog, arrived home and Ash went straight to her wife. She didn't say a word at first. She watched her son take Monster up to his room before saying anything. As soon as he was out of sight she turned toward her wife.

"So, what in the world did you say to our son to make him think that I was going to leave you guys?"

"What?!" Ali answered.

"He said YOU told him that family made me sad. He begged me not to leave him. He has been having nightmares that I leave during the night and never come back. What exactly did you say, Alex?"

"I didn't say anything, Ashlyn. I swear!" Ali was as shocked to hear this as Ashlyn was earlier.

"Do you think he overheard you telling someone about my crappy childhood, or what?" Ashlyn was kinda hurt that her wife probably gossiped about her to someone. And she was definitely upset that she mentioned it in front of their 3 year old.

"Ashlyn, I don't like your tone." Ali could tell she was upset and she felt like she didn't deserve this from her wife. "The only person I have talked about this with is my dad. You already know about that. If he overheard it, I am sorry. I thought he was in bed. I talked to my dad on the phone about it well past his bedtime."

Ashlyn looked her wife over. She could tell she was speaking the truth and decided that she may have over reacted. "Ok. I believe you."

"And...." Ali added to her wife's confession.

"And...I'm sorry."

"Ok. That's better. I'm sorry too. I'm sure he didn't understand much. Were you able to set him straight?" Ali asked.

"Yeah, he's ok now. He will probably apologize to you later. He told Monster he was sorry for being mean to him last night."

"Our little boy is so sweet." Ali said and put her hand over her heart.

"He gets it from you." Ash said and kissed her wife. Ali sunk into her arms and held her tight for a moment longer.

"Baby, I'm so glad you chose me." Ali was feeling emotional lately. Furthermore, her sons confession of worrying about losing Ashlyn made her even more so. Her wife's assurance of never leaving them stirred all her emotions into a bubbling heap and all she could do was try to let Ash know how lucky she felt to have her.

"Oh hey," Ash suddenly remembered, "I forgot to tell you. I called your dad, 'dad' for the first time last night." She said it like it was no big deal. But it was a big deal, especially to her wife, who couldn't help but be over sensitive at the moment.

"What?" And just like that Ali started to cry into her wife's shoulder.

"Al, what's wrong?" Ashlyn switched gears immediately. She thought she had hurt her wife or said something wrong.

"You're what's wrong. You're what's right. What are you doing to me?"

She just kept crying. Ashlyn had no response to that. So she just stayed quiet. She had learned a long time ago that not saying anything was often the best thing she could do in situations like this.

Ali continued, as Ash knew she would. "I'm just emotional, ok? It's a GOOD thing...I love you...Now shut up and kiss me."

"Well, I can't argue with that." Ashlyn wiped her wife's tears with her lips and kissed her passionately. She now had a family that brought her joy that far outweighs all of the sadness in her past.

Holding Ali in this moment, sharing a life with her and their children, made it all worth it. She thought Mr. Krieger was wrong. She's the one who is truly blessed.

Chapter Text

Darkness. Darkness was all that Ashlyn could see. Everything else was gone. She was unconscious on the ground. There was no movement or any sign that she was ok. Or even alive for that matter. Ali was on the ground next to her writhing in pain. It took her a full minute to realize that something was wrong with her wife. Something was very wrong...

...

The two had been out of sync the last few days. The previous day they both arrived at Lexi's soccer practice thinking they had to pick her up, leaving Sam 'parent-less' and waiting for a ride at daycare.

"Ashlyn, what are you doing here?" Ali worriedly scolded her wife when she saw her approach the soccer field.

"You told me I needed to pick Lex up after my doctor's appointment." Ash defended herself.

"Ash, you never focus when I'm talking to you. I said I would pick up Lex and you would pick up Sam. Now our baby is all alone waiting for you!"

"Alex, I thought you told me that you were picking him up?"

"You thought wrong, Ashlyn! Now stop trying to defend that fact that you don't pay attention when I talk and go pick up our son!" Ali yelled at her wife in frustration.

She felt bad when see saw her wife's discouraged face. Obviously Ashlyn's intentions weren't to forget about their beloved son. It was an honest mistake. Unfortunately, she didn't have time to apologize because Ashlyn turned and jogged to her Jeep to pick him up.

The plan was to drop the kids off at Ali's dad's house before they met the team to travel to Kansas City for the following day's game. They would sometimes bring the kids to away games, but that was usually only for short road trips or if it was a special circumstance. Any other away game usually meant they would stay at Grandpa's house.

Once they both arrived at the right places and picked up the correct child they dropped them off at Ali's dad's house. After the earlier miscommunication they had another miscue. Ashlyn assumed Ali had brought her allergy medicine in one of their carry-on bags. Not only did Ash take a pill every day but she had an inhaler for emergencies. She rarely used it but sometimes allergens in the air made it difficult for her to breathe. So they always made sure to have one around.

Ashlyn knew that the midwest part of the country had different tree and pollen allergens in the air this time of year, and that she was prone to upper respiratory infections. The truth is she never thought to bring her medications simply because she knew her wife ALWAYS remembers....well, almost always.

Ali forgot. And when Ash asked her about it she got defensive and complained about how Ashlyn can't expect her to remember everything and that she needed to be more responsible and act like a grown up.

Ashlyn was frustrated but knew it wasn't really a big deal. The whole situation with forgetting about one of their children had made Ali extra sensitive and she could understand that. So she swallowed her pride and made a late night trip to a 24 hour pharmacy. Problem solved.

The morning of the game, they were supposed to meet for breakfast and have a little alone time but Ashlyn overslept. It wasn't her fault. She wasn't being lazy or forgetting about her wife. The allergy medication she purchased was a different brand and it made her more drowsy than usual. It was a lot harder for her to wake up.

Ali had woken up and went for a jog with Crystal and expected her wife to be ready to go when she got back. Unfortunately, Ash was snoring away. When Ali tried to wake her up she could tell her wife was too groggy to function quick enough for them to really be able to have any quality time together before their team meeting.

Ali was disappointed and again felt disconnected from her wife. It wasn't really anything too serious to worry about. They had been together practically forever and it's normal to have a few 'off' days every now and then. She wasn't upset with Ashlyn. She just thought the sooner they could get back in sync, the better. Plus Ash is her best friend. She would have liked to spend a little BFF time with her before the game that day.
...

The game had been a rough one. The defense was not doing Ashlyn any favors. Even Ali, who in Ashlyn's mind and heart is always the best player on the field, had had some big defensive mistakes. All Ashlyn could do was try to motivate her team to play hard and smart against a very good Kansas City team.

The game wasn't a blow out but a few more mistakes could easily put it out of reach. After another Cheney goal, Ashlyn and Ali had quickly gathered the back line together to try to pump them up. Everyone was working hard, it just wasn't the Spirit's day. And it REALLY wasn't Ashlyn's day either.

No matter how hard the defense played, Kansas City's offense seemed to find seams and open passing lanes. They were having their way with the defense. They were simply unstoppable.
...

After a hard collision Ashlyn was laying face down in the grass. Ali had chased down a ball from A-Rod at full speed and had collided with Ashlyn as she was making the save. Ali tried to avoid hitting the keeper but smashed her knee into a diving Ashlyn's head. The ball ended up rolling to Crystal Dunn who was able to clear it out of bounds.

Ali's knee was throbbing. Her first thought was that she had once again injured her knee and that scared her. Her second thought came about 60 seconds later when she realized that it was her wife's head that had caused the pain and that scared her even more.

She limped her way the few feet over to her wife. She knew right away that something was very wrong. The two had a deal with each other. Whenever they got injured they would always look for the other one on the field and give a nod or some kind of acknowledgement that they were ok. Right now there was no nod. There was nothing to confirm that Ash wasn't seriously injured.

Ashlyn was unconscious for 4 minutes. At least that's what the team trainer told her. Both Ashlyn and Ali were subbed out after the collision. Ashlyn recognized Ali but everything else was fuzzy. They tried to walk Ash off the field but she was completely unable to stand on her own. Walking was absolutely impossible. Ali had to live out her biggest nightmare as a spouse and teammate. She had to watch her wife be carried off on a stretcher.

The Kansas City medical staff was on point. They had an ambulance waiting to take her to the hospital as soon as she got off the field. Ali went with her. She held her hand and tried to comfort her but Ashlyn was so out of it she doubted it made a difference. Ali was terrified for her wife.

A doctor there tried to assess Ashlyn's injury. He asked her questions but none of her answers made any sense. He finally told Ali that he was going to have a tech come in and take her to radiology to get a CT scan. Ali was no stranger to concussions. She knew that if a doctor recommended one right away that it couldn't be good.

The doctor really had no choice. Ashlyn was confused half the time or completely non responsive to his questions. Ali was scared. She could tell Ashlyn was very agitated. She knew she didn't quite know what was going on but could tell she was afraid. Ali felt helpless in being able to bring her wife comfort.
...

Niki, Cheney and A-Rod ended up meeting Ali at the hospital after the game. They managed to find Ashlyn's room. However, the only occupant was her very worried wife.

"Ali, how's Ashlyn?" Lauren asked as she rushed to her side to give her hug. They could all easily see the worry on Ali's face.

"Not good. She's getting a CT scan right now. She was so confused. I can tell she's scared but I feel like she can't understand what's happening. I'm so afraid for her." Ali rested her head on Lauren's shoulder for a moment before pulling away and trying to hide the tears on her face.

Lauren pulled a tissue from a nearby Kleenex box and wiped her face for her. "It's ok, Ali. We're here for you. You know how tough Ashlyn is. She'll be ok."

Amy joined the two women in a hug and Niki found a seat in the corner of the room. She didn't know what to say. She figured Lauren and Amy were doing a good job of taking care of Ali. So she just kept her distance and worried about her dear friend.

After what felt like forever for Ali, Ashlyn was brought back in. Her eyes were closed and she wasn't moving. Ali couldn't tell if she was sleeping or worse.

"Is she ok?" Ali asked the tech who had brought her back to the room.

"The doctor should be in shortly to go over her results with you." She answered.

"But, I mean, is she going to be ok?" Ali had to know. Her wife did not look good.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry. But I can't give results. You have to wait for the doctor." The woman answered and gave a sympathetic smile before she left the room that was quickly filling up with even more worry.

Ali grabbed hold of her wife's hand and held it up to her face. She absent-mindedly would kiss it over and over as they waited. Lauren and A-Rod took up residence on the other side of Ashlyn. Lauren grabbed her free hand and began to silently pray for her.

The doctor finally arrived after what felt like and eternity to Ali.

"Has she woken up recently." He asked.

"No, she's been asleep since the lady brought her back." Ali answered. "Is my wife going to be ok?"

"Umm, maybe it would be best if we spoke in private." As the doctor said this the 3 other visitors quickly left the room. Cheney made sure to give Ali a kiss on the cheek before she left.

The doctor continued. "We have a problem. The state of Kansas doesn't recognize gay marriage. My hands are tied regarding giving you medical information on behalf of Miss Harris."

"What?" Ali was about to explode.

"Please, don't misunderstand my intentions here. I want to tell you, but I could get in trouble. I could lose my job at this hospital."

"We've been married for 4 years. We have two children together and her name isn't 'Harris.' It's 'Krieger-Harris' You can't treat us like this. She needs me!" Ali was hysterical.

"Please, don't get upset. Is there maybe a parent of her's that I can call and they can give me the ok to share her medical information with you?" He really was apologetic and she could tell he didn't mean her or Ashlyn any harm. He was just following orders....old backwards and ignorant orders.

"Her grandmother was her legal guardian growing up. Or her brother. Would her brother work? I think it might be a little late to call her grandma." Ali was too tired to put up a fight. She just needed to find a solution.

"That would be fine." The doctor paused for a minute as if wondering if he should share what was on his mind.

"Ma'am all I need is for someone to verbally tell me that they are legally related, or next of kin, to Miss Harris and to give me verbal permission to share information with you. I need verbal permission..." He said again as if to make a point. "...from anyone VERBALLY telling me that they are legally related. Understand?"

At first Ali didn't really understand. She thought he was just being careful and making sure she knew that either Ashlyn's grandma or brother would have to call. But then it dawned on her and she finally did understand. The doctor really didn't care if it was actually Ash's next of kin, he just needed to verbally hear someone claim that they were. That way he wasn't going to get in trouble and Ali wouldn't have to worry about getting in touch with someone hundreds of miles away in the middle of the night.

"Yes, doctor I understand."

The doctor handed her a piece of paper with his number written on it. He told her he would be only a few minutes away and that she needed to have Ashlyn's 'relative' call him when she got ahold of them. He said he would be able to return as soon as he got the call.

Ali ended up having Cheney call and pretend to be Ashlyn's grandma. It was ridiculous and the doctor knew there was no way that she was a grandmother but he didn't care. Lauren said the right words to make it so he wasn't liable to the hospital and couldn't be legally prosecuted if caught. He was able to release Ash's chart and information to Ali and that's all that mattered. It was stupid and it was a pain, but Ali was happy to find out that though Ashlyn's symptoms were severe and would need to be carefully monitored, it didn't look to be anything that would affect her long term.
...

Both Ashlyn and Ali stayed in Kansas City until Ashlyn was cleared to fly home. She ended up staying 2 nights in the hospital and 2 more nights at Lauren and Jrue's. Luckily Cheney had a big house and was a very hospitable host. They missed the kids but were glad it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Poor Ashlyn struggled with headaches and severe sensitivity to light and sound for almost a week. The plane ride home was a nightmare. Ash had to wear earplugs because it was too loud and she spent the entire flight with her head in Ali's lap and squeezing her eyes shut. Once they got home little Sam and Monster were put on 'quiet duty.' Ali said that Sammy was the Sheriff and had to make sure everyone stayed quiet for his Mama. His pup was his Deputy and Sam had to make sure to keep him and everyone else in line. Sam and Monster took their new responsibility very seriously and it kept the noise level down considerably.

Ashlyn did eventually return back to normal. She missed two games because of the injury though, and Ashlyn absolutely hated that! But the concussion provided even more opportunities than usual to let her wife take care of her and give her extra affection and attention...and she absolutely LOVED that!

Ali's knee developed a huge bruise on it where it hit her wife's very hard head. She was able to play after one game of rest. After all was back to normal Ali made sure to use the bruise to remind Ash not to be so 'hard-headed' and to let her have her way from time to time. It was a dumb joke, but the women seemed to really appreciate dumb jokes in their marriage, especially Ashlyn.

One good thing about the whole incident is that both Ali and Ash felt like they were back in sync, once again.

Chapter Text

The taxi pulled up right outside the Krieger-Harris house a little after 3pm. Ali thanked the driver and paid the fare. She made sure to give him a nice tip since it seemed he drove a little faster when she let him know how excited she was to get home and see her family. Ali had been gone for a week on a photo shoot with Syd for Nike and missed her family desperately.

She had spoken to Ashlyn last night and told her when to expect her. The kids had a day packed with activities so she wasn't too surprised when she didn't hear from her wife before her flight home.

She could see her wife's Jeep was parked in the driveway instead of the garage. She figured the family must have been in a hurry when they got home. Ash usually puts her 'baby' to sleep in the garage.

Ali never understood her wife's relationship with her vehicle. It really was similar to the kind of love you save for your significant other or a child. To Ali it was borderline insane but she put up with it because Ashlyn was the greatest thing that ever happened to her.

When Ali entered the house she was surprised by a couple of things. The first thing was that no one greeted her. Usually she would have been attacked with an assault of hugs and kisses within seconds of entering the house. The second thing that surprised her was that the house was uncommonly quiet.

She figured the family must be outside playing and that's why they didn't greet her. She made her way to the living room to get to the sliding glass doors leading to the back yard. She didn't make it to the back yard though. She saw her entire family sprawled out on the couch. Ashlyn had opened up the pull out bed in the couch. All three family members were fast asleep.

Ali looked around for clues to why her family was knocked out in the middle of the day. She saw the trash can was pulled up right next to the bed and there was pepto children's medicine and the adult version, as well. She saw a few discarded empty bottles of water and gatorade tossed on the floor around the couch/bed.

Her family was sick.

Ali let out a sympathetic sigh and sat on the pull out next to where her wife's head was. She stroked her face and moved her sweaty hair out of her eyes. She gave her a gentle shake to wake her up.

Ashlyn took a few moments to come out of her unconscious state. Ali used that time to glance towards her children. Little Sam had his head on Ashlyn's hip, as Ash was lying on her side almost in the fetal position. She was holding her stomach and he was holding onto one of her hands. Lexi had cuddled up close to her little brother and hugged him as they slept. It would have been sweet if they didn't look so miserable.

Ashlyn let out a groan and Ali turned her attention back to her. She leaned down so that she could whisper to her wife and be heard.

"Hey baby. You don't look too good." Ali picked up a moist towel that was on the table next to them and wiped the cold sweat of her wife's brow.

"Flu." Ashlyn groaned.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. Did it just start this morning?"

"Yeah, I think someone at daycare gave it to the kids yesterday. We woke up feeling like death." Ash rolled into Ali who was sitting on the edge and rubbing her back.

"Baby, why aren't you guys in our bed. I'm sure it's much more comfortable." Ali was surprised her family didn't pick a more suitable place to rest.

"We were on our way to the park because I thought the fresh air would do us good but we had to rush back home when Lex threw up in the car. I pulled out the bed down here, so that we could watch movies. It didn't start out as bad. I never imagined this would be where we would meet our death."

"My poor dramatic wife!" Ali consoled her a little too sarcastically to hide.

"Plus I knew you would be home today and didn't want to infect our room." Ash said.

Oh man. Ali thought. Why does my wife have to be so sweet? Even when she's sick she's putting me first.

"Ash, you should have gone upstairs. The bathroom is only a few feet from the bed. It would have been so much more convenient and comfortable." She leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Mommy." Ali heard a little voice mumble into Ashlyn's side. Samuel lifted up his head and hands signaling that he wanted to be held. Ali lifted him up and held him close. She knew that he would probably just fall asleep but she loved being home to take care of her family. These are the moments 'super moms' like Ali live for.

"Ok my loves, I'm gonna get you all fixed up." Ali made sure Ashlyn and Lexi were comfortable and carried Sam to the kitchen. She made them soup and brought them water. She covered them up with warm blankets and gave them more comfortable pillows to sleep on.

She turned on Curious George in the background in case either of the kids woke up. It was a show that was calm and relaxing and wouldn't disturb any one that might still be sleeping.

The soup ended up being a bad idea, especially for Lexi and Ashlyn. The two of them seemed to have the worst of the nausea and vomiting. It was a pretty gross day for 'super mom Ali.' But when you're a mom you learn to get over things like vomit pretty quickly. There really isn't any other option.

Little Sam seemed to be making a comeback and he was able to help his Mommy with easy things like bringing gatorade to the patients. He made sure they always had something to drink beside them. He was a very good helper and Ali made sure to let him know many times that day.

Ali had started to tidy up a bit once she noticed that her wife and daughter seemed to be comfortably sleeping. Sam went outside to take the dog out. Ali told him she didn't need any more messes to clean up.

Ali was emptying the previous night's dishwasher load when she heard a moan escape her wife's lips. She hurried to check on her.

She saw the problem immediately when she entered the room. Her favorite boy had parked his cute little butt right on top of her wife's stomach. Ashlyn groaned Ali's name. Ali rushed next her and rubbed her arm.

"I know baby, I'm right her." Ali turned her attention to the oblivious boy watching a curious monkey learn about balloons. "Sammy, you can't sit on Mama right now. Remember her tummy hurts?" Ali lifted him up and put him next to his sleeping sister.

"Oh no! I sorry Mama!" The poor guy forgot the reason they were all together watching cartoons in the first place.

"Baby, it's ok. But we need to let Mama and Lexi rest." She ended up just picking him up and finding something for him to help her with in the kitchen.

The family made it through the night. Ali convinced them to move their sicko party upstairs to their bed so they could be more comfortable. It turned out to be a 24 hour bug but they couldn't deny it was a tough 24 hours.

Midway through the next day the family was outside relaxing. They weren't up to doing anything too strenuous but they were definitely feeling much better.

Ali was tired. She had earned the right to take a nap in the middle of the day with her super mom and wife heroics the previous day and night. Ash told her to go ahead and get some sleep.

Ali retreated to the master bedroom and knocked out. Ash checked on her around dinner time and when she mentioned the bbq chicken she was planning on grilling Ali's face seemed to turn a light shade of green.

"Uh oh." Ash said to herself.

"Ash, I feel awful." Ali moaned.

"I think you caught whatever we had. Sorry, honey." Ash took her wife's hand and reassured her that she knew just what to do to take care of her.

She put the trash can next to her face and rushed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she returned with Sam holding a tray that had a bottle of water, tylenol, a bottle of pepto and a damp cloth.

The best part of the whole thing was that she had Sam's face wrapped up in a scarf to cover his mouth and nose. He had on his winter gloves and his swimming goggles also to "help protect him from flu germs" he told Ali.

Ash bent down and whispered to her wife, "The goggles were his idea."

Lex came in behind them in her pink frilly tutu from her ballet class and used her Mama's iPad to play a classical song that she could dance to. While Ashlyn and Sam took care of Ali's medical and comfort needs, Lexi took care of her entertainment and boredom needs.

Ali felt terrible and wonderful all at the same time. How could something as awful as the flu make her feel so loved?

Chapter Text

"Sammy, Mama...SHUT UP!!!" Lexi yelled from the hallway.

Neither her brother nor Ashlyn heard her, but Ali did. Ali hated that phrase when it was spoken in anger like Lexi had just done.

"Alexandra! Come here, now!" Ali didn't yell but the girl knew she was in trouble by her mother's tone.

She did what any 5, almost 6, year old would do. She whined and blamed someone else.

"Mommy, they're too loud! It's not my fault!" She begged her mom to take her side.

Ashlyn, Sam and Monster were in the middle of a 'Roaring Contest.' For them it was very serious business. For Lex is was seriously annoying and unnecessary.

"Lex, I know they're loud but they're in Sammy's room, with the door closed. If you don't like hearing them you can go downstairs or go outside and play out back." Ali tried to rationalize with her but then remembered what the little girl said moments ago. "AND you are not allowed to tell anyone in this family to shut up, especially Mama. That's very disrespectful and it's not ok!"

Ali gave her the classic 'mom look' that communicated anger and disappointment all with one glare.

"But it's not fair! They are always so loud. I hate it! You always take their side!" The girl was ready to match Ali's glare with her own. She felt like she was being picked on and her little brother was being favored.

"Your brother just has a lot of energy and extra wiggles he has to get out, and that's ok. People are different. Just because you don't like something he likes doesn't mean he's wrong. But you being mean and angry about it IS wrong!"

Ali and Ash often referred to Sam's extra energy and difficulty to sit still or to be quiet as him having extra "wiggles." In the past some other parents had complained that he was misbehaved or 'bad' because he was always moving or being loud. The women knew that their boy was one of the kindest and loving little boys around and that he was usually very well behaved.

At first they couldn't believe people were complaining about him because he didn't fit what they felt a 'good child' should act like, which was to always sit still and rarely make any noise. It took a while for them to realize it was usually the people who wanted to exert as little effort as possible taking care of him and that was someone they didn't want to entrust him to anyways. They felt like he was perfect just the way he was. Lexi, on the other hand, had different thoughts about her brother's 'wiggles.' She was sick of it!

Lexi was so mad. She couldn't even speak. She threw the baby doll she was holding against Sam's closed bedroom door and screamed. She didn't yell any words, she just let out a long and angry shrill scream.

Ashlyn bolted out of the room to make sure everything was ok. When she opened the door she saw her daughter in tears and her wife in shock.

"What's wrong?" Ash asked.

Lexi screamed at her, "I hate you!" and ran down the stairs. She went outside and started hitting Sam's Lego castle with one of his remote control monster trucks.

Both women chased after her. Ali was fuming! Ashlyn had no idea what was happening beside the facts that her daughter had just told her she hated her and that Ali was super upset.

Sam followed them downstairs a few moments later and started crying because Lex was breaking his toys.

Ali turned toward Ash and told her to take Sam inside. Ashlyn could tell that her wife was ready to explode.

"Why don't you take him? I can handle her." Ash offered, trying to diffuse the situation.

Ali looked at her like she was now the enemy, yet she managed to calmly say through gritted teeth. "Ashlyn, I asked you to take our son inside. I will take care of our daughter."

Chills. That's the only way to explain what Ashlyn was feeling. She didn't know whether to run or to stay and shield her daughter from whatever wrath was coming.

"Ok...I will take him...but first can I talk to you?" Ash looked at Lex and told her to sit on the grass and leave Sam's stuff alone. She said it so calmly and nicely that it threw the girl off and she agreed right away.

Ali didn't say a word. But she did agree through a faint nod that she would go with her wife's plan of talking before she released her fury on their oldest child.

"Samuel, I need you to be a big boy and be patient while I talk to Mommy." Ash said to the crying boy. Poor Sam was clueless about why his sister was so mad at him.

Ash knelt down in front of him, "Sam-Bam, I know your feelings are hurt and so are mine, but we need to be brave. I promise Mommy and I will take care of it, ok?"

The little boy nodded with tears streaming down his face. He went in for a hug and Ashlyn gave him the few moments he needed to catch his breath.

Ali's anger level had reduced greatly as she watched her son and wife hug it out. How was Ashlyn able to stay so calm and patient when their daughter just yelled the worst three words a child can say to a parent?

Ali noticed her wife had her own tears pooling in her eyes when she stood up and reached for Ali's arm to leave to a more private spot.

Ali felt bad that she had lost control of her emotions. She felt really bad.

Ashlyn wiped at her eyes and then gave her attention to her wife. "What happened?"

Ali explained the whole situation to her. She told her what made her most upset was that Lex told Ash she hated her. Ali still couldn't tell if Ashlyn was hurt by that. She knew she must've been but at the moment she chose not to talk about it.

"Well, what should we do?" Ash asked.

"I don't know. I was probably gonna yell at her and say something I would regret." Ali put her head down.

Ashlyn pulled her into herself and hugged her. Being a parent is hard.

"Listen, if it's ok with you I can talk to Lex and you can talk to Sam."

Ali agreed and gave her wife a quick kiss before leaving her embrace.

"Thank you. I love you."

"I love you, too. Lex is just having a bad day. She'll be ok." Ash encouraged.

Ali went straight to Sam and picked him up. Ashlyn watched as Ali dried his tears and comforted him with words and a constant hug. She held him tight and let him cry into her shoulder.

Ashlyn took her time acknowledging Lex on purpose. She wanted her daughter to observe the interaction between Ali and Sam. She wanted her to switch her focus from being angry and defensive to seeing how she hurt her family through her actions.

Ashlyn's choice to give it a moment paid off. By the time she sat down next to Lexi she could tell that the girl was drowning in guilt.

Ash gestured to the girl to climb on up in her lap. Lex slowly, with her head down, obliged. Ashlyn wrapped her up really tight in a hug and kissed her head. At first the girl left her arms down and close to her own body but soon she loosened up and reached up to wrap her arms around her Mama's neck.

"I'm sorry Mama." She barely whispered.

"I know, Lex. Can I ask you something?" Ash asked very quietly. She didn't want to set the girl off again.

Lex nodded.

"Why did you get so upset with me and Sam?" She rubbed the girl's back hoping to keep her calm.

"Because you were too loud."

"Would you feel better if we had been outside?" Ashlyn started running her fingers through Lexi's hair.

"Yes." Lex simply answered.

"I'll tell you what...from now on we will have our roaring contests outside so that you can stay inside and hopefully it won't be too loud for you."

"Ok." Lex said with a sniffle.

"But Lexi that's not all we need to talk about." She turned her daughter in her lap so that they were face to face. "I never want to upset you. There are times when Sam and I might be playing and you don't like it. All you have to do is let us know. We don't want to bother you. We love you."

"I love you too." She said.

"So the next time we're bugging you, just tell us nicely. We will do what we can to make you feel better."

Ash gave her a hug and she agreed that she would try to talk it out before getting upset.

"One more thing, sweetheart..." As much as Ash would like to leave it at that she knew she couldn't. "You threw something and broke your brother's toys out of anger. You screamed at me and Mommy. That's never ok."

Ash knew she had to hold her ground. She hated coming down hard on her kids but knew that if she didn't address this sort of behavior it would become more and more of a problem.

Ash continued, "You need to apologize to Mommy and Sam and then sit in time out until me or Mommy comes and gets you."

Lex sighed and looked like she was gonna be sick, but she took her punishment and agreed to have a better attitude.

She apologized to both Sam and Ali and went straight to the time out chair that they had sitting in the backyard next to the grill. They had several different designated 'time out' spots depending on where the family was at the time. The kids were very familiar with the whole routine.

Ali leaned in towards Ashlyn and whispered, "She looks so sad. I feel bad."

"She'll be ok, babe." Ash smiled. "I'm sure she'll survive."

"How about you?" Ali asked. "Will you survive her outburst of crazy?"

Ash knew what her wife was talking about but the woman had really opened herself up and gave Ash the perfect set up for her to crack a joke. These are the kind of opportunities Ash simply can't pass up.

"Don't worry about me, babe. I'm used to surviving outbursts of crazy." Ash winked at her and pinched her side. Ali knew exactly what she was insinuating.

"Oh, you got jokes, huh?" Ali had to admit she was glad her daughter's words hadn't hurt her wife, but still she couldn't let her get away with making fun of her too easily.

"Ashlyn Michelle, since you're so used to handling my 'outbursts of crazy' you should be able to handle me keeping this," Ali gestured toward herself, "to myself for a while. It sounds like you could use a little break with that attitude of yours'."

"Ooh I like it when you get sassy with me." Ash ignored her wife's threat of a 'hold out' and grabbed her waist and pulled her into her so that she could feel the sensual pressure build up between them.

Ali playfully pushed her wife off of her and told her, "You better watch it or I'm gonna put YOU in time out!"

"Sounds hot." Ash said. Her mind was set on one thing and one thing only.

"Ashlyn! Stop!" Ali was turning red. Her kids weren't close enough to hear, but they were still nearby. Ali wanted Ash to put on the brakes.

"What? I know how much you like to discipline me when I've been bad." She smirked.

Ali's face just got a brighter shade of red. Her wife needed to cut it out before she died of embarrassment.

"Please." Ali begged. "Please..."Ali covered her face and tried to hide.

Ashlyn laughed at her wife and put a hand on her shoulder. "Ok, babe. I'll stop. I need to go rescue our child from the time out chair anyway." She leaned in next to Ali's ear and whispered, "You can't blame me for being hot for you. You get so sexy when you're all worked up."

Ashlyn left Ali all hot and bothered as she laughed her way to release Lexi from her punishment.

Ali was flustered by her wife, even though she absolutely loved it. She decided she was gonna have to punish her later for her actions and take out her frustrations on her unruly wife to teach her a lesson.

Later she would put her wife in a very different sort of time out. One that neither would soon forget.

Chapter Text

Ashlyn laid across the couch and used her wife's lap as a pillow. Ash kept her eyes closed and directed Ali's hand to the top of her head. She loved when Ali massaged her head. This was her usual signal for her wife to gently massage the heck out of her skull.

"You ok, baby?" Ali asked. Ashlyn just hummed a response and turned her face into Ali's stomach. Ali could tell that her wife wasn't ok. She could actually see the tension in her face.

"Does that feel good?" Ali began to rub Ashlyn's exposed temple. Ash answered with an affirmative moan.

"Sweetheart? How bad is it this time?" Ali was referring to today's headache. Ever since Ashlyn's last concussion she had been getting more and more headaches.

Both women knew that having long term symptoms to a bad concussion could mean the end of Ashlyn's career. However, they were both too scared to say this out loud to one another.

Ali watched Ashlyn lift her head up a little bit to answer her wife. Ash had one eye tightly shut and looked up at her.

"It's pretty bad." Ash said. Ali could see that her eyes were watering.

"Do we need to go to the hospital?"

"No. It will go away. The last one didn't last too long." Ash said and put her head back down. Ali continued to massage her wife's head. She also continued to worry.

...

Two days later the family decided to take a trip to the zoo. The family had season passes because the kids loved the animals and it was usually pretty educational.

An hour into their visit Ali could tell Ash was hurting. Ash was squinting and insisted that Sam walk instead of take his usual place, which was in her arms. The two would usually joke around and sing songs to the animals. But on this visit, Ashlyn couldn't handle their normal interactions.

Ali noticed that Ash had her fingers interlaced with the boy's as they walked, but with her free hand she was rubbing her head and shielding her eyes from the sun.

Ali took her own sunglasses off and handed them to her wife.

"Thanks." Ash knew Ali was fully aware of her discomfort. "I should have thought to bring my own."

Ali made an executive decision and cut the afternoon short. The kids protested and Ashlyn felt bad but she knew it was the best thing to do under the circumstances.

Ash made Ali drive home while she leaned back into the headrest of the passenger seat and tried to make the pain stop. All Ali could do was hold her hand and constantly glance over at her in worry.

The trip home felt like forever.

...

After Ashlyn 'slept off' her headache she found Ali doing what looked like intense googling on her laptop.

"What ya working on there?" Ash asked.

Ali jumped a little bit. She was seriously focused on whatever she was reading on the computer screen.

Ash laughed at her wife. "Sorry I scared ya." She sat down next to Ali.

Ali closed her laptop and got really serious. "I think we need to do something about these headaches you've been having."

All the color left Ashlyn's face. She thought their unspoken agreement to not bring it up would last a little longer.

Ali noticed her wife's change in demeanor. She placed a hand on her thigh and gave it a squeeze.

"Baby, you've been getting them a lot and they seem to be really bad."

Ali was right and Ashlyn knew it. But she was closer than ever to actually earning a spot on a World Cup roster and she wasn't about to throw in the towel now. So she did the only thing she could do. She lied.

"It's not that bad. I think it has more to do with my allergies than anything else. I know you're worried because of the timing of these headaches being so close to my last concussion but, honest..." Ashlyn swallowed to try to remove the lump in her throat. "It's not a big deal. I promise."

Ali was unconvinced but could tell she wasn't gonna get anywhere with her wife right now.

"Ok." Ali answered. Ashlyn knew by her wife's quick and agreeable answer that she didn't believe her.

But once again, they had an unspoken agreement not to mention the heartbreaking possibility that Ashlyn's childhood dreams could soon come to an end.

...

The days that followed were uneventful, which was exactly what Ali had expected. She knew that Ashlyn would down play the headaches. She knew that her wife would do whatever it takes to make sure that one, Ali wouldn't worry and two, she could keep playing soccer. Ali knew that sooner or later she would have to confront her wife. She knew that it would lead to a fight and the fight would be a big one.

Ali, who was all too familiar with heartbreak right before a big important soccer tournament, dreaded being the bad guy. She knew she had to remind her wife that soccer, though a big part of their life, was no where near the biggest part. She needed Ashlyn to understand how important it was for her to treat her injury seriously. Ashlyn is thinking World Cup. Ali is thinking the rest of their lives.

Ali planned to speak to Ashlyn after practice that day. She figured if they needed to pick up the kids from daycare Ashlyn wouldn't be able to shut down and avoid her wife. Plus, their children were Ali's greatest reminder to her wife that she had much more going for her than soccer.

...

Ali and Ash walked hand in hand to Ali's car after practice. Ashlyn had been on her best behavior all week because of her desire to keep her wife happy with how things were going. So when Ali suggested they take her car, so she could drive, Ash agreed without question.

Ash opened the door for her wife and jogged to the passenger side and got in. Ali had decided that she would have the talk with her in the parking lot of the daycare. She told Ashlyn they needed to get there 20 minutes earlier than they really had too. This would give them time to talk and then an excuse to stop and calm down because of the kids. She just knew this was going to be a difficult conversation.

Ali felt bad on the way to the her kids' daycare. Her poor wife had no idea what was coming. Ashlyn was carrying on their normal light hearted conversation. Ali was half listening to her talk about the latest goal keeper pranks in the locker room. Her heart was breaking more with every mile they got closer to their destination.

Ali pulled into a parking spot and Ash grabbed the handle, offering to run in and get the children while Ali waited in the car. Ali reached over the center console and grabbed Ashlyn's arm.

"Hold on a sec. We're a little early. I wanted to talk to you real quick."

Ashlyn slowly retracted her hand from the handle and turned to look at her wife. She wasn't excited about Ali's serious tone.

"Ash...I know your headaches haven't gone away. I think it's time to get it checked out." Ali watched as Ashlyn removed her eyes from her gaze and stared at some unknown point in the distance.

"It's fine." Ash answered shortly.

"Sweetheart, it's not fine. You've been acting like it's fine, but I know that it's not. You need to get it checked out. This isn't up for debate. If you don't tell someone...I will."

That got Ash's attention. She slammed her hand against the dashboard of Ali's car and stared her down. Ali would usually back off in a situation like this, but she knew she had to hold her ground.

"I'm serious, Ashlyn. You are more important to me than anything else in the world. I hate that this could end up with you missing out on the World Cup, but we have to be smart."

Finally Ashlyn spoke.

"If you say anything, Alex, I will never forgive you! I swear to God, I will never forgive you!" Ashlyn's voice was shaking. She looked serious. Ali was afraid that she might actually never forgive her for this.

"Ashlyn, you have to think about our future. Think about our children! You are so much more than a soccer player."

"After all we've been through, Alex? I don't understand you. I did everything in my power to support you and to help you recover from your knee injury so that you could hold on to your dream. And now you're so quick to give up on me!" Ashlyn was crying. She leaned her head up against the window of her door and ended up hitting it over and over. She needed to make it all stop. She wanted to move the focus of the pain from her broken heart to anywhere else.

Ali shot out of her seat and grabbed Ashlyn by the shoulders. She pulled her into a hug and forced her to stop hitting her head against the window.

"Ashlyn, I know it doesn't seem fair. I've been over this a hundred times trying to figure out some other way, but it's too risky for us not to get you checked out and to play it safe. I'm not gonna lose you!"

Ashlyn pushed Ali away from her and got out of the car. She slammed the door shut and started to walk away from the building their children were inside.

"Ashlyn, where are you going?"

"I'm leaving. I can't even look at you, right now."

Ali followed after her but knew if she didn't quickly convince her to stay, then her plan would backfire. She couldn't leave the children, meaning she wouldn't be able to follow her wife.

"Ashlyn, please don't leave!" Ali was sobbing for her wife.

"Fuck off, Alex! I can't believe my own wife would so easily give up on me. You probably never thought I would make the roster anyway so why even try, right?" Ashlyn was crazy with rage. The one person in her whole life who always supported her seemed to think her best solution was to give up. She wasn't thinking rationally, of course. She was thinking with her heart. And her heart was shattering with every passing second.

Ali wasn't used to Ashlyn screaming at her with so much anger. She wasn't used to her wife using such strong language towards her, either. She didn't know what to do. She froze. Right there in the middle of the parking lot. She stood there, feet glued to the pavement, as Ashlyn's anger drove her farther and farther away.

She knew it was gonna be a big fight. But she never imagined it would be this big.

Chapter Text

It took Ali a minute to come back to reality. She was standing in the middle of the parking lot, her legs were heavy like stone.

She snapped out of her shock and tried to keep and eye on where her wife was heading. She waited long enough to see Ash turn right when leaving the day care parking lot and then another right at the first intersection.

She knew it was now or never. She sprinted inside the building and went straight for Lexi's classroom. She signed her out and waited for the girl to pack her book bag and say good bye to her friends. Ali was bursting on the inside but tried to look calm on the outside.

She grabbed Lexi's hand and pulled her to Sam's class. It always took forever to check him out. She signed him out fairly quickly but his teachers usually had some funny stories about the boy every single day. They loved his free spirit and liked to share a laugh with Ali and Ashlyn when they picked him up. But Ali didn't have time for that today.

She helped him pack his bag and picked him up. She waved to the teacher and mumbled something about being late for an appointment. She hurried the kids in the car and prayed that she would find her wife on the way home.

She honestly didn't know what Ashlyn would do, even if she did find her. She wanted to be optimistic and believe that Ash would head home, but something in her gut told her otherwise. She felt like she was losing her. Whatever was going on inside her head was stealing her wife away from her. She couldn't explain it, but she just knew...the old Ashlyn, her Ashlyn, was gone.

...

Ali stayed up all night waiting for her wife to call or come home. She left a dozen messages apologizing and begging Ashlyn to come home. The calls went straight to voicemail, meaning Ash had either turned her phone off or her battery had died. Ali knew Ash didn't have her charger with her. She knew she had her phone and wallet, and nothing else, because she left her bag in Ali's car.

The previous night was cold. She pictured her wife sleeping under a bridge or in a ditch somewhere. She checked their online banking and saw that Ash made no purchases with her debit card, so she hadn't eaten, purchased warm clothes, or gotten a hotel room. Ali's worry meter was through the roof.

She hoped that Ash went to one of their teammate's places. That would explain why she didn't need to purchase food or a hotel room. The only problem with that hope was that Ashlyn was a very private person when she was upset. Ali knows her wife would actually prefer sleeping in a ditch than showing up on someone's doorstep in the middle of the night and asking for help.

Ali's hope was running out.

...

The next morning Sam asked where his Mama was. Ali had already come up with an excuse while she was up all night praying her wife would come home. As far as the kids were concerned Ashlyn was out of town for work.

Ali arrived at practice 30 minutes early hoping that maybe her wife slept somewhere near the field. She waited and tried not to look clueless about her wife's whereabouts as people started to file in.

She assumed that Ash would've called someone to let them know she wasn't gonna make it. She would probably come up with an excuse but at least Ali would know she was ok.

Ali had to play it smart. She didn't want to let on that she had no idea where Ashlyn was and she really didn't want to let anyone know that they were fighting. More than anything she hoped that Ash would just show up. Maybe she was running late. Maybe everything would be ok after all.

Half way through practice Coach Parsons approached a very distracted Ali.

"Ali, where's that wife of your's? I figured she would have shown up by now, or at least you would have said something."

Ali didn't know what to say. She stuttered an answer. "Umm...yeah. Umm you know what, I think she probably assumed I would say something, but I thought she called. It's totally my fault. I must have misheard her." The speed of Ali's explanation increased the more she talked.

"Sooooo, what is it that is keeping her from practice?" Mark asked.

Ali's eyes went big. "Duh! Sorry I forgot to actually say, um, she's sick. Ash is sick."

"Ok. Sorry to hear that. Do you know how long she will be out?"

"Uhh" Ali got really quiet. She was barely holding it together. "I don't know." Ali's eyes became distant.

Mark didn't seem to notice, though. "Tell her to feel better, ok?"

"Yeah, sure. Uh thanks, coach."

Ali decided to leave practice early. She said she needed to check on her sick wife. What she really left to do was to try and find her.

She had two hours to search for her wife before she had to pick up their two children. She felt like she had two hours to put her family back together.

...

A little over two hours later Ali was pulling into her driveway with Lex and Sam. Her hunt for Ashlyn was unsuccessful.

Ali was running out of options.

...

Ali had been holding off on confirming the worst. She no longer felt that she could. She began to call different hospitals in the area hoping to NOT find Ashlyn.

Unfortunately, the third hospital she called had an unidentified woman who matched Ashlyn's description. Ali still held on to the hope that it wasn't her. Ashlyn had her wallet with her, they would know who she was, Ali thought.

Ali ran out to her car and searched Ashlyn's practice bag. Her hands were shaking. She finally resorted to pouring out the entire contents of the bag.

All the air left her lungs as she saw her wife's brown leather wallet fall to the top of the pile. Ali fell to her knees in devastation.

"No, God! No!" She sobbed.

She took a few deep breaths and collected herself. Her children were in the house clueless that anything was wrong. There was still a possibility that the Jane Doe at the hospital wasn't Ashlyn. There had to be a chance.

Ali knew she was grasping at false hope. She just knew. It was her wife. The person on the phone couldn't give details but said it would be best for Ali to hurry.

Ali called her dad. Her dad recommended that they leave the kids with a teammate so that he can go with her to the hospital, just in case.

Ali called Niki and she was there before Ali's dad had arrived. She heard the fear in Ali's voice and put it together that Ash was in trouble. Nothing could've kept her from being there for her best friend's family.

...

Ali and her father arrived at the hospital. The person on the phone told Ali to bring Ashlyn's ID with her to confirm her identity. She showed the floor nurse Ashlyn's license and gave a detailed description of her wife's tattoos. The nurse called over a doctor to speak to Ali.

The nurse pulled the doctor aside to speak to him first. He nodded along with what she was saying and then dismissed her.

Dr. Staton asked to speak to Ali alone. Her dad retreated a few feet away to give privacy while maintaining a line of sight with his little girl.

"Hello, my name is Dr. James Staton. I can confirm that based on your description the unidentified woman who was brought in is, in fact, your wife."

Ali knew it. She knew that Ashlyn was in trouble. She could feel it in her bones. And deep within her, she knew it was all her fault.

"Ma'am, I'm so sorry, but we have a problem. Unfortunately, I'm unable to share any more information with you about her condition."

Ali had heard this all before when Ash first got her concussion and the hospital in Kansas didn't recognize their marriage.

"It's ok. You can talk to me. It should be written in her chart that her next of kin gave permission for you to release information to me. We worked it all out already." Ali answered. She was glad they already handled this problem in Kansas.

"No, Mrs. Krieger-Harris you don't understand. We recognize your marriage here. We fully support that. The reason I can't go into detail about your wife's condition is because she asked us not too."

"Wait. What?" Ali was confused. They didn't even know who Ashlyn was, how could they possibly know her wishes.

"Apparently, she has made it clear that she doesn't want to see anyone. Especially her family, especially you. She doesn't want you to know her condition either."

"You can't keep me from seeing her! She's sick. She's not herself. She suffered a head injury several weeks ago. We thought she was ok but she's not." Ali pleaded with the man to sympathize with her.

"If you think you have a case proving she is mentally unfit then you may be able to overturn her decision. But you will need a specialist to make that call for you. Is that something you would like to pursue?"

Ashlyn was already furious at her. If Ali had a doctor state that she was unfit to make her own decisions she knew she'd never get her wife back.

"I don't know." Ali was ready to give up. "I don't know what I should do."

...

Ali and her dad slept in the waiting room at the hospital. In the middle of the night, Ken left his daughter's side to find his other daughter. He made a commitment to protect Ashlyn. He wasn't going to break that promise.

He managed to get a nurse to tell him where Ashlyn's room was. She took him right to her. Ken quietly opened the door and saw his daughter-in-law laying on her side with her back towards him.

Ali's dad pulled a chair up to the bed. He didn't want to startle her. He definitely wanted her to come out of her shell, but on her own terms.

"How did you get them to let you in?" Ashlyn's voice sounded empty and tired.

"I told them I was your dad. You were pretty specific of who you didn't want to see. I wasn't on that list. The nurse said we look alike." He joked.

Ash didn't laugh. She wasn't in the mood.

"What happened, Ashlyn?" Ken couldn't hide the worry in his voice.

"I had a seizure. Someone found me in a bathroom stall at the gym."

"A seizure? Are you ok?"

"They gave me some strong stuff for the pain. I have a brain bleed. I don't know the medical name for it. They said I could die."

Ashlyn said this with so little emotion, it was disturbing. It was almost as if she wanted to die.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I'm really sorry to hear that....Don't you want your family here with you? Ali has been going crazy worrying about you. She loves you, ya know?"

"What does it matter?" Ashlyn pulled her blanket up over her head as if to let her father-in-law know that the conversation was over.

Ali's dad returned to his grief filled daughter. He struggled on whether he should tell her what Ashlyn said. He knew he had too.

...

Once Ken broke the news to his daughter Ali knew that she had to do something. She was able to convince the hospital to talk to Ashlyn's therapist. The therapist recommended a psych evaluation and Ashlyn was easily declared mentally unfit.

Ali hated the fact that she had to go to that extent, but it was the only way she could help her wife. She couldn't let her suffer alone.

Chapter Text

After Ashlyn's psychological evaluation Ali was able to take her proper place and be the wife that Ash needed her to be. The doctor explained that she had suffered a slow bleed in her brain called a subdural hematoma.

Her condition was responsible for her drastic change of behavior. The headaches were constant and getting worse and worse as the blood continued to put more pressure on her brain. The doctor told her that it must have been hell for Ashlyn to go through.

The doctor told her that a lot of this could have been avoided if she would have had it checked out sooner. He also said not to be too hard on Ashlyn for holding off treatment. At the rate that the bleed was progressing it made perfect sense why she thought she could handle it...at first.

It started out slow and the pain would seem manageable, but as it progressed it would affect her ability to use good judgment when dealing with it. He told her he's seen these things change drastically overnight even though the effects start out slow and often unrecognizable.

Ashlyn never saw it coming.

According to the paramedic who brought her in, she was found at a local gym on the floor of a bathroom stall. Ali kicked herself for not thinking that her wife might go to their local 24 hour fitness center. It made perfect sense. She didn't need her ID or membership card because the staff knew her well.

The EMT said that she had a seizure around 2 in the morning. A few of the staff members remember seeing her running hard on a treadmill. The doctor concluded the stress from earlier that day mixed with the extra exertion of the exercise sped up the bleed to cause Ashlyn to have a seizure.

"I can't even imagine how scared she must have been." Ali said to no one in particular.

The doctor had told her they wanted to evaluate her over night to get a sense of how bad the bleed had gotten. They did a CT scan which gave faster results, but an MRI would give more detailed ones. This caused them to hold off on deciding what kind of surgery she would require.

When Ali heard the words 'seizure' and 'surgery' she knew she needed to sit down. How could this be their life? It felt like just days ago they were joking around and everything seemed fine.

Before Ali entered Ash's room the nurse told her what to expect. Her usually outgoing and happy wife was now reserved and struggling to find a reason to live. She was hooked up to oxygen to help take some stress off of her body functions and she was given a steady dose of pain medication through her IV drip. She was also visited by a nurse every 4 hours to take a pill for her anxiety. The nurse explained to Ali that her wife had put up quite a fight the previous night. That's when they decided she needed anxiety meds.

To say Ali was scared when she approached Ashlyn's bed was an understatement. Her wife looked so small. She seemed so weak.

With a very quiet voice she greeted her wife.

"Hey, baby. I'm here." She took Ashlyn's hand with both of her own and stroked it. The beeping of the machines Ashlyn was hooked up to was scaring Ali to death.

"How could this be happening?", she thought.

Ashlyn's eyes were closed and she seemed to be asleep. The nurse warned Ali that the medication she was on was pretty strong and might make any conversation with her difficult.

"I searched everywhere I could think of for you, Sweetheart." Ali felt like she was still searching for her. She knew she was in there somewhere.

"Sam and Lex made you some get well cards. My dad said he would bring them. I think he's almost as worried about you as I am." Ali wiped her nose that was dripping. Her tears mixed in, as well.

"Ashlyn, it's ok. The doctor said that there was no way you could've expected this would happen. You did your best. All you can do now is try to do your best to hold on and get better." Ali knew the old Ashlyn would feel bad about letting it get to this point. She wasn't sure what the Ashlyn in front of her was feeling, but she wanted to make sure she knew it wasn't her fault.

The truth is, Ali thought it was all her own fault. She was the one who watched her wife's headaches worsen. She was the one that waited to confront Ashlyn about doing something about it. Her job was to protect her wife. She failed. She let her down and now Ashlyn was suffering because of it. And finally, it was her knee that caused the concussion that put her wife in this bed in the first place.

Ali broke. Right there next to her wife's breathing machine and heart monitor. Her sobs mixed against the background noise of beeps and the whirring of machines. She had failed her. She failed their family. She ruined everything good they ever had.

Ali didn't notice it at first because she was sobbing. But she definitely noticed the second time. Ashlyn squeezed her hand.

Ali looked up at her and began stroking her face. Ashlyn's eyes finally opened.

Through tears Ali said, "Hey beautiful." She kept stroking her face and patting down the hair on the top of her head.

"I'm right here." Ali wanted Ashlyn to know that she would always be there, no matter what.

Ash looked confused. Ali thought for sure she was going to kick her out of the room. And then she heard it. Her name from her wife's lips never sounded so good.

"Alex?" Ashlyn's voice was low and raspy from lack of use.

"Hi." Ali smiled at her. It was amazing how she could flip the switch from sobbing emotional wreck to strong supportive wife.

"I'm right here, Ashlyn. The doctor said you're in some pain. How are you feeling right now?"

Ashlyn struggled a little to straighten herself up in the bed. Ali made sure to adjust the tubes hooked up to her to make sure they didn't pull out or hurt her.

"My head hurts." Ashlyn's voice was barely above a whisper.

"I know, baby. Your doctor said they are waiting for some results so they can find out the best way to make you feel better."

Ashlyn's mouth and lips were so dry. She was about to ask Ali for some water but her wife had anticipated her request and had a straw up to her lips before she could even ask.

Ash took two sips and then closed her lips tight. She whispered a 'thank you' and closed her eyes and fell back to sleep.

At least they made some progress, Ali thought. Was Ashlyn aware enough to even really know who she was? She thought she heard her name but maybe she said something else. Did she really know her and now everything is ok between them? Had she forgotten about the blow out of a fight they had?

It was really unfair to both Ali and Ashlyn to try and figure out the answers to the questions swirling in Ali's brain. Ash was simply incapable of putting her wife's mind at ease right now. But Ali believed that if she could, Ash would forgive her and be glad that she was there. So she wasn't going anywhere.

...

Ali had spoken to the doctor. He recommended immediate surgery. Ashlyn needed a surgery called Burr Hole Trephination. The doctors needed to drill into her skull and suction the blood out to release the pressure from her brain.

Ali was terrified. Someone was going to drill a hole into her wife's head. How could this be happening?

Ali decided she would be the one to break the news to Ashlyn. She really hoped there would be a lucid moment between the two of them before the nurse came to take her to surgery.

Ali sat anxiously next to her wife. She took her usual spot of holding her hand, trying to provide comfort and support to her unconscious wife.

Ali heard her wife take a deep breath and then get really agitated. Ali stood up and leaned into her. She grabbed both her shoulders and held her down.

"Shh, shh. Baby, calm down. You're ok."

Ashlyn opened her eyes. Ali could tell she was in pain. And underneath the pain was fear.

Ashlyn rolled to the side of the bed where her wife was standing. She positioned her face into Ali's chest.

A tear escaped Ali's eye as a response to this gesture. Her Ashlyn was back.

"Stay right there." Ali told her wife not to move. Ali went to the other side of the bed and climbed up behind her wife, careful not to disturb any of the equipment she was hooked up too. She held Ash close to her. She wanted her to feel her own heart beating for her.

"Ashlyn, the doctor is going to do a surgery that will help you get better. It's risky but without it there is no chance you'll get better. You'll only get worse."

Ali could feel her nodding in understanding. Ali's lips were on Ashlyn's ear and she whispered messages of 'I love you' and 'I'm here.'

When the nurse came to prepare Ashlyn for surgery she found the two women asleep in each others arms.

She woke Ali up first and helped her to carefully get out of the bed. Ali gave her sleeping wife one more pep talk and kiss before she let the nurse take her.

"Ok, sweetheart. We're all ready to help you get better. I'll be waiting. I'll be right here when you get out. Please don't give up on me. Our babies are waiting for us at home. We'll all be home soon. I love you." She finished her speech off with a kiss and signaled for the nurse to take her away.

Chapter Text

Ali was going out of her mind waiting for Ashlyn to return from surgery. Her mom had flown in earlier that day and was taking care of the children while Ali was at the hospital with her dad.

Ken felt helpless in bringing her any comfort. All he could do was sit with her and give her a hug whenever she looked like she was about to break.

He and his ex-wife, who were on good terms and always put there children first, had been texting all day. They two of them decided that it might be a good idea to have Ali meet the kids outside for a quick lunch break. They assured her that it would be a short meeting and that it would do them all some good.

Ali agreed to meet them at a small park nearby, but said that she would only stay for a few minutes. Her parents would take whatever they could get. Ali needed this more than she knew.

...

"Mommy!" Sam ran to her and jumped up in her arms. The children had very limited knowledge of the seriousness of Ashlyn's condition. They definitely missed her but they had no idea there was a potential that they would never see her again.

"Hi, my love!" Ali gave her boy a squeeze and a kiss to the head as she put him down.

Sam started doing what looked like a hybrid of a squat and dancing. He would take a giant step and then pause for a quick second, then give a little shake of his shoulders and head. He walked around doing that for a good few minutes. Ali had to smile at her sweet son's care free ways. She could see so much of Ashlyn in him.

Lexi gave her Mommy a more delicate greeting. She hugged her and stayed right next to her with an arm around her for the remainder of their time together.

Ali was sure Lex knew that things were more serious than the adults around her were letting on. She could tell that this was her daughter's way of trying to protect her.

It was a quick lunch break, just as Ali's parents had promised, but it absolutely was exactly what she needed. Her family filled her heart up with hope. She was ready to believe the best for her wife and was strengthened enough to be what Ash needed.
...

Ali and Ken had rushed back to Ashlyn's room only to have to wait for what felt like an eternity.

Finally a doctor knocked lightly on the room door and let himself in.

"The surgery went fine without any unexpected complications. Your wife isn't out of the woods yet, though. We're going to observe her very closely tonight in the ICU. The nurse at the desk outside can give you her new room location."

Ali felt like she was in a dream. She couldn't believe she was hearing all of this. In that moment the reality of what was happening and what they had been through over the last week felt like a giant weight on her chest.

After the doctor left, Ken knew his daughter was somewhere else. And she was.

The noises of the hospital all blended together in her mind. Voices sounded like they were under water and were barely understandable.

Ali's dad took charge and held on to Ali's waist with his left arm and with his right he grabbed hold of her right arm. He led her through the hospital to find her wife.

They stopped at the nurses station in the intensive care unit and asked if they could visit Ashlyn. They were told that they needed to wait 45 minutes before the woman was cleared for visitors. The nurse told them no gifts could be brought in the room, especially flowers, and no children under 12.

Because things can change in a heartbeat they needed to understand that they may be asked to leave the room at any minute.

Ali was terrified.

After a 45 minute wait they asked the nurse if they could see her. The nurse took them into the room and showed them the emergency button they could push just in case anything happened.

What Ali saw in front of her was an image she would never forget. Ashlyn had a huge piece of gauze on top of where the doctor drilled the hole and that was wrapped in an ace bandage that covered her entire head. The nurse said that once the wound stopped bleeding they will take that stuff off and she would have a small bandage on top of the incision. And soon she wouldn't even need a bandage to cover it.

Ali approached her sleeping wife. "Hey Baby. I'm right here. Dad is here too."

She hesitated for a hopeful moment, giving her wife a chance to wake up. That was too much to expect, though. Ashlyn didn't move.

Ashlyn was constantly being checked on. Ali was thankful for the hospital staff's vigilance but it made her worry even more about the stability of her wife's health.

A few hours later Ashlyn started to move around. Ali shot up and stood by her.

"Hey baby, I'm right here."

Ash let out a long groan. She coughed a few times and Ali quickly put some water close to her lips.

"Take a sip, Ash." Ash took a small drink.

Ali watched her wife carefully and noticed that it looked like she had to really concentrate to do the smallest things, like swallow.

Ken had left the room as soon as Ash woke up. He called for the nurse to check on her. The nurse quickly entered the room, took her vitals, and assured Ali that everything looked normal.

Ashlyn's doctor came in about 30 minutes later and asked her questions like "What is your name?" or "What's your date of birth?" and "Why are you here?"

At the end of his questioning he pointed to Ali and asked Ashlyn "How about this lovely lady over here. Do you know who she is?"

Ali saw her wife smile. She smiled for the first time in days. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

Ashlyn quietly nodded and answered the doctor, "My life."

Ali had to wipe the tears from her eyes. Her wife was always so good at making her feel loved. She gave her a smile and nodded in agreement.

The doctor told Ali that everything looked pretty good. They still needed to watch her closely, but she seemed to be progressing favorably.

He warned her that Ashlyn was on very limited pain medication, so if the pain seems bad they needed to let someone know. He didn't want to drug her up too much because that makes it more difficult to evaluate a brain injury.

After he left the room, Ali's dad gave Ashlyn a kiss on the cheek and let Ali have some private time with her wife.

"Hey, the doctor said you did really good in surgery. Thank you for that."

Ash was fighting to keep her eyes open. To her Ali's face was Heaven. Her eyes brought her so much confidence and comfort. She wanted to look at her for as long as possible.

There would be moments when Ali would catch Ashlyn waking up for just a moment. Her wife's very first instinct would be to look for her. Ali got in the habit of watching for this movement and then giving Ash's hand a comforting squeeze. Ashlyn would relax again as soon as she knew her wife was there.

...

The next day, the doctor removed Ashlyn's bandage and made sure the wound was stitched up properly. He showed Ali how to clean it and make sure that it wouldn't get infected. Ashlyn had about a quarter sized cut on the right side of her skull. They shaved a small patch of her hair but that could be easily covered up once the smaller bandage could be removed. Ashlyn was happy she wouldn't look too damaged by this whole nightmare.

...

After a full week in ICU Ashlyn was ready for her wife to take her home. The first steps outside of the hospital when she stood up from the wheelchair felt like her first steps from death into life. In that moment Ali felt that her wife's smile could've lit up the darkest of skies.

The two women approached Ali's dad's car and opened the front passenger door. Sitting on the front seat was a snapback that Ali had purchased for Ashlyn.

Ali grabbed the hat and helped Ashlyn into her seat. "Sam picked this out for you. It's up to you if you want to wear it or not." Ali said.

Ashlyn studied the hat in her hands. It was blue and had a Superman symbol on the front of it.

"He said he wanted to get this one for you because you are his hero."

Ashlyn put the hat on and smiled. She couldn't wait to get home.

...

Ali hurried to open the car door for her wife. Ashlyn quietly laughed at her overprotective wife's ways. She wasn't going to complain. After what she put her through, she owed her wife as much leeway as she needed.

The children had been instructed before Ashlyn's arrival to be quiet and calm when they see her. Ash didn't really show any discomfort with loud noises but Ali wasn't going to take any chances.

When the 3 entered through the door they saw little Sam jumping up and down but being held in place by his grandma. Ashlyn gave Lexi a kiss and hug and headed straight for her antsy little mini-me.

She stood up straight and with a serious look on her face she saluted the boy. He returned the gesture and they both broke out into big smiles.

Ashlyn bent down and picked the boy up. Ash felt Ali's hand on her shoulder and heard her wife say, "Please be careful, Honey."

Ali had Lex in her arms and was keeping a watchful eye on every detail about her wife and children's interaction.

"It's ok." Ashlyn said as a response to her wife's over worrying.

"Ashlyn." That's all Ali had to say.

Ash put the boy down and grabbed his hand. "Let's go sit on the couch, guys."
...

That night the family had their usual movie night. Both grandparents stuck around to help out, if needed. Ashlyn ended up falling asleep with her head on Ali's shoulder and both children on her lap. Each child sat on one of her legs, unwilling to give up any of their claimed space to the other.

If Ashlyn ever doubted her kids missed her, those doubts were long gone by how clingy they were upon her return.

...

Life seemed to almost return to normal. There were a few things that had changed. Ashlyn's season with the Spirit was over. Her career, however, was not.

The doctor instructed her to keep up with her check-ups and to be overly cautious about reporting any potential problems. He was confident, though, that she would be back on the pitch in a month or two....Meaning that she was still available for the national team.

Ashlyn still had some things she was working through. For some reason sarcasm was really hard for her to figure out. Ali made a joke about traffic one day and said it took her 3 years to get home. She remembers watching her wife's face wrinkle in confusion.

After a long moment she said. "That's a long time. It didn't take you that long to get home." It was the most innocent and sweet comment.

Ali thought it was the cutest thing but tried to remember not to confuse her wife again with that sort of talk.

Ashlyn also had difficulty reading. The doctor said he had seen this sort of thing before. The patient knows the words on the page but once they try to interpret the thoughts expressed they get jumbled up in their brain.

This caused Ashlyn a lot of frustration because she really wanted to be able to read to her children when she tucked them in. Ali tried to encourage her and help her but she wasn't going to be happy until she could do it herself.

The last noticeable problem after the surgery was that Ash didn't seem as confident and outgoing as before. Ali didn't know if this was because of Ashlyn's brain needing to heal or if it was Ash's feelings and insecurities about herself.

Once again, Ali made sure to keep an eye on her wife and try to head off any potential problems before they reached her.

So basically everything was back to normal.

Chapter Text

The Spirit had an away game in Portland and Ashlyn and Ali needed to discuss how they wanted to handle that. Ashlyn hadn't really thought about it much but she could tell her wife had.

"So, what do you wanna do about the Thorn's game?" Ali asked.

"Umm..."

"Mark said you're more than welcome to travel with the team." Ali wanted to tread lightly. Even though the family was extremely thankful for Ashlyn's progress and recovery, her disappointment of not being able to finish the season was obvious.

"Uhh..." Ash still hadn't really figured out what to say.

"I thought maybe we could bring the kids. You guys can hang out with Tobin during the game. She's still recovering from a knee injury." Ali had it all figured out, apparently.

"I guess. I didn't really think about it." Ash said sadly.

Ali wasn't really comfortable with leaving Ashlyn home alone for an extended amount of time yet, but she knew her wife would miss playing and being with the team would only be a constant reminder. There wasn't a solution that was without risk. Either the risk of Ashlyn being alone or the risk of Ashlyn being discouraged.

Ashlyn's recovery was going great, but she still wasn't herself. Her doctor warned them that her behavior might be unpredictable at times. Something that might be considered common sense could be lost on her while she was still healing. Ali wasn't ready to take that risk.

The doctor cleared Ashlyn for travel and Ali talked to the team about letting not only Ashlyn travel but also the kids. They decided it would be best at least for the first couple away games. She figured that the kids would keep Ash entertained and feeling useful, and she would be able to keep an eye on her still healing wife.

"That won't be too stressful for you? To have the kids along, I mean. They can be a lot to handle on flights."

"I think we can both handle it." Ali said and gave her wife a smile.

Ashlyn was trying to stay positive, but situations like this made her feel like a child. Her wife couldn't trust her to be alone anymore. She really did feel good-for-nothing.

Her doctor warned both women of the challenges, both physical and emotional, that Ashlyn was going to face. Disappointment and discouragement was right at the top of the list.

"Ok. If that's what you want." Ashlyn resigned to whatever Ali wanted. She felt like she couldn't trust herself to make a point of argument, even if she thought she wanted too.

Ali sensed her wife wasn't completely convinced about the plan of action.

"Sweetheart, do you not want to go with us?" Ali asked.

"I don't know." Ash really didn't know.

Ali put her hand on Ashlyn's arm and asked, "What's bothering you?"

"I don't know."

Ali had learned that during this time Ashlyn might sound like she's trying to avoid giving an answer but she really is just trying to figure things out.

This was one of the reasons she didn't want to leave her for an extended amount of time. The simplest thing could cause her confusion and upset her.

One day she came home from the grocery store and found Ashlyn in the kitchen staring in the fridge. Ali greeted her and noticed she was crying. When she asked what was wrong Ashlyn said she couldn't remember if she liked orange juice or not. It would have been funny if it wasn't so sad.

"I think the kids would love to see Tobin and Alex. I think you'll have fun too." She rubbed her arm to give some comfort.

"Yeah, ok." Ashlyn knew her wife must be right. She decided to go with the flow. She didn't want to disappoint Ali.
...

The family had arrived safely with the team. Tobin and Alex invited the family over for the day. They shared an apartment in Portland and were happy to have their favorite family over.

Ashlyn was thumbing through one of Tobin's surfing magazines. She had a very focused look on her face as she tried to make out the captions next to the pictures. Ali tried not to look too obvious as she was staring at her wife's struggle but Alex could tell she was worried.

Alex nudged Ali's arm and nodded toward Ash. Ali sighed and motioned for them to go to the kitchen to speak privately.

"She struggles to understand words when reading." Ali explained quietly.

"Oh wow. So she's still showing a lot of signs of brain trauma, huh?" Alex asked.

"Yeah. I mean...we should all be thankful. Even if she doesn't get completely better she has overcome a lot. We came so close to losing her." Ali had to pause to catch her breath. She didn't want to cry in front of her friend. "But I know it's hard for her. These new limitations are very discouraging."

"How are YOU holding up?" Alex asked.

"I'm so blessed. I really am. I look at her while she's sleeping or playing with our kids and feel like I won the lottery all over again. The first time, when I married her and now when I get to keep her." Ali cleared her throat and continued.

"But it is challenging. She's being such a trooper through it all. I know part of that is because she doesn't want me to worry, but I'll take it if it means she's extra careful and trying to stay positive."

Alex pushed, "But it's gotta be hard for you, too."

"It is. But I'm trying to see the positive. My wife is alive. My family is whole. I can't complain." Ali answered.

"You're amazing, Ali. If you ever do need to talk you know you can always call me."

"Thanks. I just might take you up on that sometime."
...

Ali and Alex returned with water for the adults and juice for the kids. Ash was no longer focused on the magazine. She was now holding a very tired Lexi.

Sam was laying on his stomach, along with Tobin, playing with some Legos he brought with him.

Ash and Lex didn't last long. They both fell asleep, even though they were sitting up. Ali took Lex and laid her down on a blanket on the floor and she woke up her wife only enough to have her lay down in her lap. Ali stroked her hair and she was out in less than a minute.

Ali smiled down at her wife and when she looked up she saw Alex and Tobin giving each other a knowing look.

"What?" Ali said.

"You two are sweet." Alex answered.

Ali looked back down at Ash and smiled again. She really couldn't deny it.

"So I'm guessing she sleeps a lot." Tobin said. Alex attempted to kick her from where she was sitting as if to say she shouldn't have said that.

Ali laughed. "It's ok. Yeah, she does sleep more now. Things wear her out easier. Her doctor says it's a good sign, though. It's proof that her body is working hard to heal."

Tobin turned her attention to Sam. "Have you been helping your Mama get better?" She asked him.

"Yeeeeee-up!" The boy answered confidently. "Mama says I make her strong!" He stood up and flexed his muscles for all the girls to see.

"Woah!" All three of the women said.

Tobin told him to come close so she could check out his enormous biceps. He flexed as hard as he could as Tobin squeezed his left and then his right arm.

"Dude, your guns are huge!" Tobin praised.

As if on cue both kids said, "Suns out, guns out." The women laughed heartily together. This was obviously something they had heard many times.

"Lexi," Ali said. "I didn't know you were awake."

"Can I cuddle with Mama?" Lex asked.

"Of course, just be careful not to wake her up." Ali answered.

Lex carefully climbed on the couch and laid across Ashlyn's front. She put her head right on Ashlyn's shoulder so that her face was in the crook of her Mama's neck.

Ali quietly explained to her hosts that she had been extra clingy since Ashlyn's surgery.

Alex put her hand over her heart, "Aww, so sweet." She said quietly to Ali while watching Lexi hug her Mama.
...

"Mommy, look!!" Sam yelled as Ashlyn and Tobin launched him into the swimming pool at the Portland apartment complex.

Ali always worried when her son was in the water, but he has arm floaties on and the full attention of both Ash and Tobin, who were excellent swimmers.

Sam quickly surfaced on top of the water and looked to Ali for approval. Ali clapped and cheered for her son.

The three 'Alexandras' were having a diva moment and tanning while drinking strawberry lemonade. Lex had on her oversized sunglasses and bikini. She wanted to be just like her Mommy and Aunt Alex.

After a while the swimmers decided it was time for the rest of their party to get wet. Ash instructed Sam to 'shake out his hair' by his sister. That way she would get small drops of water and not be too bothered. Ash didn't want to start a war between her children. As for Ali and Alex, their other halves were not so kind.

Tobin dove on top of Alex and broke the chair she was lounging in. Ashlyn sat right on top of Ali. She then stretched out the full length of her wife and made sure to smash her butt into her wife's front. She wanted to transfer as much water as possible.

Ashlyn then grabbed for Sam and pulled him on top of her. All of Ashlyn and Sam's weight were resting on top of Ali.

Ali tried to struggle and move them on her own but she had to surrender and let her wife have bragging rights for the day.

"Tobin Powell, get off me!" Tobin's weight was much more manageable for Alex to deal with. She wrestled with her a bit but ended up able to lift her enough to throw her back in the pool.

The children were loving the immature behavior of the adults around them.

Sam tugged on Alex's arm and asked, "Throw me, too?"

Alex gave Ash and Ali a look as if to ask if it was ok, and with their approval she catapulted him into the pool with Tobin.

Sam and Tobin spent the rest of the afternoon telling secrets and splashing the rest of the group.

Ash and Ali ended up sharing one lounge chair while Lex and Alex shared another. Lex was going through Alex's iPhone. Alex was letting her scroll through her pictures.

Alex wanted to keep Lexi's attention and let her friends enjoy a little couple time. This time around Ashlyn had Ali leaning against her. Ali had positioned herself so that she was lying on her stomach and facing Ashlyn. Her head was propped up on her wife's chest and the two were able to have a quiet moment together.

Ali traced random patterns on her wife's face while they quietly talked. The playful screams of Tobin and Sam would occasionally bring them out of the love spell they were under. But after a laugh, they would return to their own little world.

Tobin called out from the water. "Babe!" Alex looked up and gave Tobin her attention. "We should totally get some food. I'm starved!" Tobin looked at Sam and asked, "You starved too, little dude?" He nodded in agreement.

Alex loved watching Tobin with Sam. She smiled widely and agreed that it was time to show their friends around and take them out for something to eat.

"Not to interrupt you two lovebirds, but the natives are getting restless." Alex laughed at the married couple.

"Yeah, we heard. Your woman's loud." Ash answered.

Ali playfully smacked Ashlyn's chest, "Be nice. I'm hungry too."

The group agreed it was time to feast.
...

They ended up stuffing their faces with donuts and ice cream. Normally Ali and Ash wouldn't let their kids pig out on junk food without at least having a decent meal, but their aunts were bad influences on the entire family.

The 6 of them hung out at the donut shop for a little while after they were done eating because they soon needed to be dropped off at their hotel, so there wasn't time for them to go anywhere else.

Tobin and Sam were stabbing an uneaten half of a donut with a pretzel stick and making groaning noises as if the donut was dying.

Sam held the donut up to Ash and said, "Mama, look he's bleeding." The raspberry jelly was dripping out of it.

Ashlyn said without a thought, "Well, aren't you a crazy little mother fu-"

Ali silenced her wife by putting her hand over her mouth before she could finish.

Tobin was cracking up! Lexi was confused. "Mama, Sammy isn't a mother???"

Ashlyn knew she must have said something inappropriate. This wasn't the first time her wife had to censor her.

"What?" Ash looked to Ali for an explanation.

"That's one of the words we don't say around the young ones." Ali answered.

"Which word?"

Ali couldn't help but laugh. She immediately felt bad when she saw the look of innocent confusion on her wife's face. "The word you were going to say after mother.

Ali gave Ash a sympathetic look and then a quick kiss on the cheek. Ashlyn stayed mostly quiet for the rest of the day.
...

After the kids had gone to sleep, Ashlyn decided to ask her wife a question. They were lying in their usual bedtime spots, with Ash on her back and Ali's head on Ashlyn's left shoulder.

"Are you worried I'm gonna hurt or mess up the kids?"

"What?" Ali was completely taken by surprise. She adjusted herself so that she was propped up on her elbow and looking down at Ashlyn. She wanted to be able to look into her eyes.

"I mean...it's just..." Ash couldn't quite get out what she wanted to say.

"Is this about you almost swearing at the donut shop earlier?" Ali asked.

"Yeah, I guess. It seemed like it was a really bad thing."

"Ashlyn, the doctor said that this sort of thing might happen at first. It won't be forever. Plus, it's not that big of a deal. If you slip, we can explain to the children why. It's fine, really. It's not something you need to worry about." Ali said.

"It just makes me feel like I'm stupid. I should know better."

"You do know better. You just have to remember, that's all." Ali answered.

"I don't embarrass you?" She asked.

"You could never embarrass me because of a medical condition, baby. You're perfect to me. I really mean it."

"Thank you, Alex." Ashlyn was still struggling to put the pieces together, but the most important piece was in her arms being held tightly as she kissed the top of her head.

...

After the family returned home, Ali decided that she was extra thankful for the NWSL. Where else would she be able to play any team in the league and know there would be friends there who would be happy to help her family in a time of need?

She knew that there was no way her wife would have been able to make it through that last road trip without the help of Alex and Tobin. Though Alex and Tobin had an extra special place in their hearts, they truly had great friends on every team.

She was actually looking forward to their next away game in Seattle. She couldn't wait to get Ashlyn together with Syd and Pinoe. She knew they were going to have a blast. She also knew Hope would want to give an encouraging word to her fellow keeper that would end up meaning the world to Ashlyn.

Chapter Text

Ashlyn had on her favorite denim button up, topped off with a bow tie. Samuel had on the exact same combo but his shirt was a few shades lighter. Lexi was as cute as ever with a light pink sun dress and her hair up in a tight ponytail. Both children had a red, white and blue ribbon pinned on that said #AKH.

The three of them stood at the sideline of the field and watched Ali do the coin toss with Sky Blue's captain, Christie Rampone.

Ali hurried off the field and joined her family before Coach and General Manager, Mark Parsons spoke into a microphone towards the center of the field.

Ali adjusted the children so that she could stand close to Ashlyn and put an arm around her waist.

With his English accent Coach addressed the crowd. "Tonight, the Washington Spirit organization, along with the National Women's Soccer League, would like present to Ashlyn Harris this award for unequivocal courage and exemplary hope."

Both the Spirit and Sky Blue players broke out in cheers. The crowd followed suite.

That was the cue for the family to join Mark on the field. Ali took the mic from Mark, much to Ashlyn's surprise. She thought they were gonna get a plaque, take a picture and be on their way.

Ali cleared her throat...

"As captain of the Washington Spirit," she winked at Ash and continued. "I wanted to tell you how proud we all are of you for fighting through physical trauma and showing us what it means to hold on to hope and not give up."

Ali wiped at one of Ashlyn's eyes trying to remove a tear that was threatening to spill. She gave her son, who was holding tightly to her wife's leg, a pat on the head and continued.

"And as your wife, "Ali pulled the microphone down and cleared her throat. She felt her own tears rising up, "I wanted to thank you for showing me what courageous love looks like. No matter what, I know that you will always give your best to this family. I'm so proud of you. I love you." She pulled Ash down a few inches so she could give her a kiss.

Ashlyn noticed that her wife had a patch on her jersey with the same #AKH on it as the ribbons they're children were wearing.

She noticed her entire team had the same patches on their jerseys too. Ali had kept this small detail from her. She said she had the ribbons made for the children, when really the Spirit organization had them made. They passed them out to all the fans at the game that day.

The family posed for pictures and both teams gave Ash hugs and encouraging words of support.

She truly felt, in this moment, that the struggle she endured, and the moment of victory she was sharing was of greater importance than any soccer game she could ever be a part of.

If she could inspire people to keep fighting through struggle and to hold on to hope, then she would be happy.

Ali returned to her wife for one more moment together. She took Ashlyn's face with both hands, and said, "Baby, I love you. I'm so proud of you!"

"Thank you, Alex. Thank you for all of this!" Ashlyn didn't know what else to say. She gave Ali a hug and another kiss. She gave her a pat on the butt and told her to play her heart out.

"Since my heart is right here," Ali patted Ashlyn's chest with her open hand, "I don't know if I can do that. But I will play hard for you." Ali said sweetly.

"Oooh...smooth!" Ash answered.

"That's right, babe! You're not the only charmer in the family." Ali gave her a smack on the butt and ran off with a smirk on her face.

"So Hot!" Ash said to herself and went to find her father-in-law and children.

...

The family went to their favorite pizza place to celebrate Ashlyn's achievement. If it was just Ash and Ali they would have gone any other place but there. However, when you have 2 small kids you plan accordingly. Plus it was fun watching Kelley try to win a stuffed squirrel from the claw game.

A lot of the players from both teams joined them, as well as Ali's dad. He probably would have rather stayed away from a crowded pizza and games restaurant but he wanted Ashlyn to know he was proud of her.

The place was packed. It looked like there were a couple of different big groups there. Ali was thankful they had 3 tables filled with adults who love giving her young ones attention. With her two, plus Riley, Reece and Maddon, the ratio of adults to kids was pretty good.

She didn't have to worry about someone trying to kidnap them or worse. Ali was always thinking up potential problems to protect her family from.

The group had eaten and was now playing games and being obnoxiously loud. Ashlyn excused herself to use the bathroom and ended up waiting in line.

The line to both the men's and women's rooms were right next to each other. She ended up standing next to a teenage boy. He looked to be about 13 or maybe 14. He was skinny and seemed a little grumpy.

"Typical teenager." Ashlyn said to herself and smiled.

"What?" Apparently the boy heard her.

"Oh. Sorry. I umm was just saying I like your hat." Ashlyn lied.

"Oh, ok." The boy answered shortly.

Ashlyn thought maybe he really did hear her and was offended. She didn't mean it to sound unkind. She decided to try to win him over.

"What's your name?" She spoke loudly trying to make sure he heard her over the loud voices around them.

"Jacob."

She could tell he wasn't gonna warm up to her unless she was a bit more charming.

"Jacob, huh? Not Jake or Jakey?" She asked.

"Jacob. That's what my birth certificate says, anyway."

His answer caught her off guard. Who is this boy?

"Well, it's a good name." She said trying to stay positive. She felt like the boy was very sad and she wished she could do something to help him.

And then he spoke.

"So I guess your a lesbian, huh?"

Ashlyn started laughing. She had never had anyone come out and just say it like that. He didn't say it like he was being a jerk, either. He just said it.

"What makes you think that?" She asked truly curious.

"You walked in with that really hot brunette."

Again Ash could do nothing but laugh. This boy was something else.

"Well, that hot brunette is my wife. And she's even hotter up close." She answered him with a smile.

Jacob shook his head and then answered, "Cool."

By this time they were both able to get in the restroom.

"Hey," Ash yelled as he was walking away from her towards the men's room door. "It was nice to meet you, Jacob."

The boy seemed to appreciate the sentiment and smiled for the first time since they started talking. He gave her a nod and walked through the door.

...

Ash found her 'hot brunette' and told her about the funny conversation she had.

"I'm telling you the dude was something else. I about choked when he said I was a lesbian. All the homophobes around us seemed to get real quite." Ash said.

"Was he being mean about it?" Ali asked.

"Nah, he was just being blunt. I liked it. He reminded me of Sam a little bit when he says his crazy stuff."

"Well, I'm glad you had fun while you were waiting to pee. I will fill out a customer review card and let them know how pleased you were with your peeing experience." Ali joked.

"Hey you better be careful, woman! I'm getting better at spotting your sarcasm. I've got my eye on you." Ashlyn made a fake angry face and finished it off with a quick peck and an 'I love you' for good measure.

"Alright Sherlock," Ali said and smashed a stuffed animal that Ash had won for her earlier, into her chest. "It's time to go."

...

Ali was in the middle of picking up Sam's toys for the third time that day when she heard her cell phone ring. When she looked to see who was calling she almost missed answering it because of shock.

"Hello?" She said.

"Hello, is this Mrs. Krieger-Harris?"

"Yeah, it's Ali Krieger-Harris, my wife is also a Mrs. Krieger-Harris. Which one are you looking for?"

Ali wasn't sure whether to be happy or worried that this person was calling them.

"You'll do, Ali." The woman on the phone answered.

"I would like for you and your wife to meet with me sometime soon. I have something very important to speak to you about."

"Can't we just talk now?" Ali now knew that she should worry.

"It would be better in my office."

The two set up an appointment for the next day.

...

Both of the Mrs. Krieger-Harris' were walking through a large brick building that had a hint of familiarity to it. Ashlyn had Ali's hand and was trying to convince her to calm down.

"Stop thinking the worst!"

"They can't take our kids, right? I mean we've had them for so long. They're ours!" Ali was ready to breakdown in tears.

Ashlyn stopped her wife right outside of the office they were looking for. "Alex. You need to hold it together! They probably need some paperwork signed or something. Don't worry about it."

Ashlyn didn't want Ali to know that she was worried too. She thought maybe someone found out that she was messed up in the brain and felt she was unfit to raise such perfect kids. She couldn't lose her family. She WOULDN'T lose her family.

...

"Nice to see you two again. How long has it been?" The well-dressed woman asked.

"Almost four years." Ali answered coldly. She hadn't decided if she wanted to act chummy with her yet.

Ashlyn gave her a poke with her elbow to tell her to straighten up.

"You're probably wondering why I asked you to come today. The reason is that I have a child who needs a home. I felt that the two of you might be the perfect situation for him."

"What?" Ali was shocked. This woman calls them out of the blue and thinks their situation is perfect. That doesn't make sense.

"Before I give you details, I want to know where you're at with fostering another child. Is that something you want to do?"

Ashlyn answered because her wife was still in shock. "We still want to help kids but we're not sure if fostering is the way to go. We had been talking about adding to our family in other ways."

"There are definitely a lot of options out there." The woman said. "I recently went over your file and it said that you," she nodded toward Ashlyn, "used to be in foster care. So you know how important it is to give these kids a home."

Ali was upset with what the woman had just said to her wife, and she made sure she knew it. "Hang on! Don't you think that's a little manipulative? You're trying to use my wife's past experiences to get her to do what you want. I don't like that!"

Ali was in full on protective mode and Ashlyn knew it.

"Babe, it's ok. Remember this is the woman who gave us Lex and Sam."

That brought Ali back.

"Listen," the woman said,"I don't want you to do anything that isn't right for you and your family. I want to make sure the best possible situation occurs for both your family and this child."

"Why us?" Ashlyn asked. "Why did you approach us for this particular child?"

"I do have a reason. But I'd rather know where you are before I tell you." The woman said.

Ali answered for the both of them. "It's really a bad time for us. Ashlyn has recently suffered a major injury and is still healing. I think the extra stress of another child would be too much."

Ashlyn's face was downcast but she nodded in agreement.

"Ok. Well, that's that then." The woman stood up and held out her hand to shake and say goodbye.

"Can we see the child? I know you've got his or her file here. At least that's how you did it last time." Ashlyn said.

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Ashlyn. You'll get attached." Ali warned.

"Ali, I really think we'll regret not knowing. I can't explain it. I don't know why." Ash answered.

Ali could tell she had no choice but to agree. She looked at the woman and nodded agreement.

The woman pulled out a folder with a picture of a teenage boy. Ashlyn couldn't stop staring at the photo.

"His name, according to him, is Jacob. He was homeless until a police officer picked him up last week. He had been trying to avoid the foster system for almost 4 years. He's been looking for his family."

Ali listened intently to the poor boy's story. She saw the child services worker look up at Ashlyn as if trying to communicate something with her through a look.

Ashlyn still didn't move from staring at the photo in front of her.

"We'll take him!" Ashlyn declared loudly.

"Ashlyn, I knew this would happen. We can't save everyone!" Ali was trying her best to rationalize with a woman who's heart was bigger than the ocean.

"Ali," Ashlyn reached forward and pulled the picture from the paper clip that held it to the file. "This is Jacob. Remember? The kid in line at the pizza place. I knew then just like I know now, that we have to help him!" Ashlyn was serious and Ali knew it.

"Baby, I don't know if it's the right time for us." Ali said.

"My grandma always said that if you know the right thing to do and don't do it, then you're in the wrong. We know what the right thing to do is. There is nothing more important than helping this boy!" Ashlyn held the picture up to Ali's face.

"We can't just walk in here with 2 children and walk out with 3, Ashlyn! We have to think about it." Ali rationalized.

"You're right. But I already know how it's gonna end. You're gonna agree with me and until then this boy is all alone." Ash was desperate to change Ali's mind.

The woman butted in to the conversation and said, "I really don't mean to be manipulative, but maybe one more detail about this boy would help you make your decision."

Ali was so frustrated with this woman. She's treating it like it's not one of the biggest decisions they will ever make.

"4 years ago Jacob was separated from his 2 year old sister and infant brother. His siblings were found in a garbage dumpster. The reason he refused help for this long is because he was worried he would never see them again. I have located his siblings."

The woman looked sincerely at the women. She didn't want to be too obvious and spell it out for them because she didn't want them to feel guilty if they really couldn't take him. But then again, how could they not?

"Jacob is Lex and Sam's big brother?" Ashlyn said.

She nodded confirmation.

"I think my wife is right." Ashlyn said. "We need to think about it." Ashlyn sounded almost deflated. Ali would never have expected that response.

"Ashlyn, let's talk about it." Ali said. She was having a hard time reading her wife.

"We will talk about it. But at home." She stood up and shook the woman's hand behind the desk. "We'll call you soon."

She grabbed Ali and left for home.

Chapter Text

"Ashlyn, will you please talk to me!" Ali begged her wife.

Ashlyn hadn't spoken a word since they got in the car to leave for home.

"What?" Ashlyn honestly didn't realize she hadn't spoken for the entire 30 minute drive.

"I believe the last words you said to me were: 'Wanna drive?'...After we found out something as HUGE as this! What are you thinking?" Ali said.

The two women were sitting in their garage. The kids were probably already in bed and Ken was more than likely watching something on ESPN.

Ali didn't know what to think about Ashlyn's behavior. Her wife went from having her mind made up to adopt Jacob to not being able to get out of the conversation fast enough.

Ali knew that Ashlyn could be experiencing many different possible struggles. The obvious being how ginormous of a step it is to add another child to their family. But she believed there was more going on.

Could Ashlyn be having an emotional breakdown? Her poor wife had been doing much better with her reasoning and had been experiencing a lot less confusion lately. But there was still a possibility that her brain injury could be making it difficult for her to comprehend her own thoughts at the moment. If that's the case, it obviously wouldn't be a good time to make such a life altering decision.

But Ali was also worried about her wife because she knew that she does have a tendency to pull away when she's feeling hurt. She wasn't sure if this was too much for her wife to handle right now.

She didn't want to push her wife, but she knew they had to do something about this boy. Ali knew that in the long run Ashlyn would never be able to live with herself if they left this boy without a family.

Unfortunately, it seemed like something was holding Ashlyn back and Ali couldn't figure out what it was.

"Sorry." Ashlyn barely spoke above a whisper.

"It's ok. I just need you to talk to me. Don't shut me out." Ali was not about to let her wife drift away, not even for a moment.

"I wasn't trying to shut you out. I've just been thinking." Ashlyn replied. Ali was a little relieved by her answer. She knew that Ashlyn did need more time to process things now days than she used too.

"Well, that's ok. Maybe it would help to talk it out." Ali encouraged.

"Maybe we should relieve your dad of baby duty first?..." Ashlyn replied.

Ali was torn. She didn't want her wife to close up again, but every responsible parent knows you can't just leave the baby sitter hanging. Especially when you have a good one.

"Alright, but we are continuing this conversation!" Ali said sternly.

"I'm not trying to get out of it. Geeze!"

Ashlyn was a little irritated. Her wife had been in super protective mode ever since her surgery. She could understand at first, but she has improved drastically since those first few days and weeks of recovery. She didn't need to be treated like a child anymore. What she needed was for her wife to lower her level of crazy and stop treating her like she might break at any moment.

...

After the women thanked and hugged Ali's dad good-bye, they both did a bed check and made sure their little angels were asleep. They got ready for bed and Ashlyn suddenly had the urge for a late night snack.

Ali thought this was just her way to put off having to talk to her. She patiently waited for her wife to return.

She waited. Ashlyn never came back.

...

Ali searched for her wife after waiting for almost and hour. She was so worried that Ashlyn made a run for it. Maybe the stress was too much for her.

She thought back to the day Ash had her seizure. Ashlyn had told her that she didn't know what she was doing during that time. She said she was confused and scared and couldn't put two thoughts together. And then the next thing she knew she was in an ambulance on her way to the hospital.

Ali was afraid something like that was going to happen again. Her behavior was definitely confusing.

Ali looked in the kitchen first. No Ashlyn.

She looked in the backyard where her wife sometimes goes to think. She wasn't there either.

Ali's worry meter was increasing by the second. She checked the garage and both cars were there so at least Ash didn't leave. Unless she left on foot, Ali thought.

Ali continued to search the house. As she opened the door to the last room she felt stupid.

"I should have known." Ali said.

"What?" Ashlyn answered confused.

Ashlyn was sitting on the bed of their guest room. The room that would be Jacob's if he were part of the family.

Ali sat down next to her wife and rubbed her back. Ash was sitting up straight staring at an empty wall in front of her. Both her hands were in her lap holding a glass of water.

Ali reached for the glass and took a sip. She observed her wife for a moment and then stared at the same wall. She didn't want to push. She could wait just a little bit longer.

Ashlyn took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. She was finally ready to open up.

"I'm scared." She said.

Ali didn't want to interrupt her now that she was finally talking, so she took another sip and stayed quiet.

"Alex, this isn't just about Jacob. It's also about Lex and Sam. I know how horrible it is to be separated from your family. But they don't even know about him. They're happy."

Ali took another sip.

"We aren't just talking about fostering him, either. There's no way we would ever be able to turn back once he comes in this house. We are talking about whether or not we will adopt him and make him a permanent part of this family."

Ali took a sip. Trying hard not to speak.

"Al, this boy...who knows what he's been through." Ashlyn's voice cracked.

"I really do want to protect him but how can we do that and still protect Lex and Sam?"

Ali was done drinking. She got up and set the glass down on the dresser across the room.

"Ashlyn, what are you afraid of?" Ali was standing right in front of her wife.

"What if we aren't enough? This boy deserves two parents who are whole. Two parents who aren't broken....He deserves better than me! How can I possibly be enough?" Ashlyn put her face in her hands and finally let out the sob she was holding in.

Ali sat down next to her on the bed and hugged her. She brought Ashlyn into her and started rubbing her back again to try and calm her down.

"Shh, shh. It's ok." Ali was trying hard to comfort her. "Ashlyn, you know what I think?"

Ash lifted her head from Ali's shoulder to hear what she would say.

"I think that there is no one better in this world to love and help that boy than you." She made sure to maintain eye contact as she spoke the words.

"Alex, I don't feel that way." Ashlyn whispered.

"I know. But you connected with him before we even knew about him. That's not some random coincidence, baby. Maybe it's meant to be." Ali couldn't believe what she was saying. She didn't think she had made up her own mind about taking the boy in, but maybe she did.

"What about Lex and Sam? How do we explain that he's their brother? We would have to tell them that their adopted and their real parents didn't want them. And what about Jacob? What terrible stories would he be able to tell them about what their parents did to them?" Ash apparently had thought this through very thoroughly.

She continued. "Even if we don't tell them they are related and try to hide it from them, Jacob is 14. He's smart. I can tell he is. He'll figure it out. Are we ok with him breaking the news to our babies?"

Ali gave Ash a small smile. "He's smart, huh?"

"Yeah, I could tell when I was talking to him. Like he seemed to know more about the world than a 14 year old should." Ash answered. She hadn't noticed Ali's change of demeanor.

"Describe him to me."

"Well, he's handsome. I think he's handsome, anyway. And he is skinny, too skinny if you ask me. We'll need to keep our fridge stocked up for the boy. I could tell by his eyes that he's been through a lot, but I don't think he's calloused. You know what I mean? I think he has tried to stay kind and hopeful, even though his life has been hard. I could tell he could be funny if he wanted to be. And not stupid funny either, but a smart kind of funny that could make anyone laugh. I can just imagine me and him pranking you guys. It would be the best."

Ali let her wife ramble on and on. Ashlyn didn't realize what she was saying but Ali did. Once Ash finally stopped talking and Ali noticed the smile that had formed on her wife's face, she decided to put in her two cents.

"You know what it sounds like to me?" Ali asked.

"What?"

"Like in your heart, you're already this boy's mother." Ali gave her wife a squeeze to punctuate her point.

"What do you mean?" Ash asked

"You just described a kid in full detail who you barely spoke to and met for just a couple of minutes. And the more you talked about him, the brighter your eyes became." Ali took Ashlyn's face in her hands.

Ashlyn didn't know what to say to that. Ali could have continued but she knew she needed to wait for Ashlyn.

"What if it doesn't work out?"

"It will." Ali answered.

"What if the kids don't get along?"

"They will."

"What if I end up damaging him?"

"You won't." Ali said and kissed her wife's lips.

Ashlyn deepened the kiss and decided they would need to finish this conversation another time. She lifted her wife up off the bed and took her to their own room.

Both women were overcome with love. They spent the rest of the night making love and eventually fell asleep in each other's arms. Whatever tomorrow would bring, they would face it together.

...

Tomorrow did come and the women knew what they had to do. But they thought it was unfair for them to make this decision on their own. They wanted to talk to Jacob.

They arranged a meeting with him the next day and hoped to clarify some things.

...

The following day they found themselves sitting across from the 14 year old boy at Ashlyn's favorite steak place. Ashlyn insisted they go there to 'put some meat on his bones.' The social worker was shocked because usually potential foster parents meet at a park or some cheap fast food place.

The boy sat across from them and said, "So you're the two lesbians from the pizza place, right?"

Ali tried to hide a smile and Ashlyn thought, 'He really is my son.' Both women shared a look and gave the boy their attention.

The social worker sitting next to him seemed absolutely offended for the two women. She tried to tell Jacob to apologize but Ali told her it was fine.

The meal was pretty quiet on Jacob's end. He gave short one word answers whenever possible. He devoured the meal in front of him. Ali ordered him more french fries. She didn't want him to leave hungry.

The social worker had to excuse herself to answer a call and that's when it happened. The boy took off his hat, the same hat he was wearing when Ashlyn first met him, and handed it to her.

"I um...I've felt bad ever since I met you. Um...I stole this. I wanted to give it to you. I don't know, maybe you can return it."

"Yeah, sure." Ash answered. She was shocked the boy had even initiated a conversation with her.

"It's dumb." He put his head down. "I know it's dumb. I just felt like I needed to give it to you."

Ali's heart was ready to burst. It seemed that this boy was already treating Ashlyn like his mother. She could see glimpses of their new family already starting.

When it was time to leave and they had said their good-byes Ali watched the boy tap her wife on the shoulder before leaving with the social worker.

She heard the boy whisper, "You're right. She is hotter up close."

"You ain't gotta tell me that!" Ash answered with a laugh.

Ali couldn't hide her smile. "Great another son who favors Ashlyn." She said to herself. "But at least he thinks I'm hot."

...

The women had met with Jacob several times that week. They had told him that they were very interested in being a part of his life but wanted him to feel comfortable and be a part of the decision.

Jacob knew all along that he liked them but he was still holding out worrying that he would never see his siblings again. Unless, he thought, maybe his new family was willing to help him. After hanging out with them enough, he decided that they would be willing to help him in any way that they could.

Ashlyn and Ali hadn't told him much about their children. They felt like they needed to be careful every step of the way.

Jacob and Ashlyn were busy stuffing their faces with the biggest hamburgers they could find when Ali finally said it.

"So Jacob, what do you think?"

"Yeah man, whatcha thinking?" Ash added with a mouthful of partially chewed beef.

The boy didn't wait for his own food to be properly chewed either when he answered, "About what?"

"Your killing me, man!" Ash groaned.

Jacob laughed at his soon to be mom.

"Yeah, I'd like to try it." He said.

Ashlyn forcefully pulled the boy into her for a hug.

"Yeah! Let's do this!" She exclaimed.

Ali pulled him into a much gentler kind of hug. She gave him a kiss on his cheek and told him that they were so lucky to be given a chance to be part of his family.

...

After an hour of bonding, Jacob's mothers decided it was time to tell him about his brother and sister.

"Hey Jake." Ashlyn gave the boy his first nickname. "We wanted to talk to you before we take you back and finish up the paperwork."

Ashlyn gestured for the family to sit on a nearby park bench.

"As you know we have 2 other kids. We decided to be foster parents because my brother and I lived in several different foster homes when we were young. Sometimes we were lucky to be together and sometimes not so lucky."

Ali noticed Jacob had started to look really sad. She rubbed his back and tried to comfort him as Ashlyn continued.

"Our first two children are biological brother and sister. I knew we had to take them the moment we heard their story." Ali nodded along, remembering very clearly Ashlyn's response.

"They are the best thing we've ever done with our lives." Ashlyn said.

She looked at Ali wanting her to help her out. She couldn't just blurt it out. This poor boy's life was already changing in a huge way.

Ali got his attention and grabbed his arm around his biceps and held onto him. "We found out that our kids are the siblings you've been looking for."

"What?" Jacob was not expecting that.

"It's true." Ash added. "We didn't want to freak you out or pressure you to pick us. But you were already a part of our family long before we ever met."

The boy was starting to tear up. He felt ashamed. He didn't want them to see him cry. Ali pulled him in for a hug. She hated seeing him this way.

"It's ok to cry." Ash said. She could tell he felt ashamed. "I cry all the time. Just ask my wife." She tried to joke but it fell flat.

They decided to give him time to take it all in. Ashlyn left the two on the bench and brought them ice cream cones.

Once the boy was ready to talk they showed him pictures of his siblings and discussed their concerns about them finding out that they're adopted.

It was a big secret to ask a 14 year old to keep, but they decided that would be the best place to start for now. All three agreed that they wanted to protect the children, including Jacob.

...

After an awkward first week the kids seemed to really bond. Jake loved flying Sam around the back yard like Superman and Ash said her arms appreciated the break.

Ali watched her new son begin to change. He was becoming more open and outgoing. He truly looked happy. And that made his new family happy too.

Chapter Text

Ashlyn had Sam in her arms, who had fallen asleep many stores ago. She was following behind Ali and Lex as they helped Jake pick out a whole new wardrobe. Usually, she would have dodged the bullet of shopping with her two divas, but she wanted to see Jake's reaction to all the extra attention.

Normally, a 14 year old boy would hate to be fussed over and dragged all over the mall, but this was all new for Jacob.

Maybe once he's more familiar with the way love feels, and having people care about him becomes common place, then maybe he would be annoyed by it. But right now, he never wanted it to end.

The diva princesses would pick something out, he would try it on, Ali and Lex would gush, and then he would turn to Ashlyn and ask what she thought.

He picked out every single thing Ashlyn said she liked.

...

Jacob bonded with the family well. However, he seemed to have a hard time with Ali's dad. It wasn't that they didn't get along, he just preferred to keep a distance from him whenever possible. Ali noticed this right away.

She tried to set up little scenarios and situations where the two of them could bond. Unless one of his mothers were with him too, he wasn't interested. And whenever it was only him and his brother and sister he seemed on guard.

Ashlyn and Ali decided that he must have had a bad experience with some adult male in the past. They both knew that his new grandfather would win him over sooner or later.
...

The women made sure to get Jacob a check-up at the doctor and found out that he is deathly afraid of needles. He's anemic. He has asthma and a weak immune system.

Ali made it her mission to fix as much of that as she could.
...

"Sweetheart." Ali knocked on Jake's door and opened it with his permission. "Do you need help packing?"

"Umm, I don't know. I've never been on a plane before." Jacob had never even left the city.

"It's no big deal. We fly all the time. We're only gonna be there for a couple days so one bag should be enough." She pulled out the duffle bag he had picked out earlier that day.

She continued. "You'll want clean underwear for each day, socks and whatever outfits you want to wear while you're there. We might go swimming so pack your trunks and flip flops. Um, let's see...I'm packing all the tooth brushes. And I put your inhaler with your mom's."

Ali stopped talking and stiffened up.

"Um I mean....Ashlyn."

The whole 'calling two strangers MOM' thing was still a little awkward for the boy. Which both Ashlyn and Ali understood. They have told him all along that they want him to be comfortable.

"It's ok. Although I'm not gonna call you 'Mommy.' I'm not a 4 year old. I guess I will call you both 'Mom.' But that might be confusing. I don't know. We'll figure it out."

Ali could tell he had been thinking about it and really did want to call them 'mom.' Once again, this kid melted her heart.

Ashlyn loudly interrupted them and said "Call me whatever you want. Just don't call me late for dinner!"

She had Sam on her back and they were standing at the door. They heard the end of their conversation and Ash decided to add a little fun to the mix.

Sam was laughing at his mom's joke because she was laughing at it. He didn't know why it was so funny....or NOT so funny, according to Ali.

...

The flight was a little bit scary for Jake. He tried to play it cool but he was nervous, especially at take off and on the landing.

The family was now too big to fit in one row. They always have Sam travel as a 'lap child' meaning he doesn't have his own seat. Which works for him because he can't sit still anyway. With Sam in a lap the four of them could fit in one row.

Now with 5 family members they have to split up. Ashlyn and Jake sat together. Ali and Lex sat together and then Sam just sat on whoever felt like having a 3 year old hanging on them.

Ash and Jacob were in the row behind the rest of the family. After about 3 hours in the air Ali felt her wife poke her through the opening between the seats. Ali turned around and saw Ashlyn sporting a huge grin and their oldest son fast asleep, leaning on Ash's shoulder.

Another melted heart for Ali.

Towards the end of the flight Sam asked to sit with Jacob. He sat in his lap through the entire landing. Ali had explained to him that he might be a little nervous because he had never flown before. Super Sam-Bam decided to come to the rescue and save the day!

Sam's version of helping him meant making swooshing noises and pretending they were dodging missiles. It did end up taking his mind off of the possibility of crashing, so his brother did save the day after all.
...

The team arrived in Seattle in the late afternoon. The family had already set it up to meet with the three stooges. That's how Ashlyn introduced them to Jacob, anyway.

Pinoe, Syd and Carm were excited to see the kids and meet the newest addition.

"This is our son, Jacob." Ali introduced him.

"As you can see he is very handsome so you guys better watch it!" Ashlyn joked. "I'm talking to YOU, Syd!"

"Please, he is way too young for me!" Syd replied.

"Mommy, am I hansum?" Sam pulled on Ali's hand.

"Oh yes, baby! Both you and your brother are SO handsome!" Ali answered.

The two boys looked at each other with a smile and Sam grabbed Jake's hand and held it all the way through dinner.

...

The family ended up visiting with Syd and her dogs. Sam decided that he too was a dog and spent the evening barking at them. Boss was not a fan of the boy's energy. He hid behind Sydney for a lot of the night.

Jacob was mostly quiet during all of the festivities but he noticed Lex was annoyed by their little brother.

"What's wrong, Lexi?" Jake still found it weird calling her a name someone else other than their parents gave her.

"He's so loud! All the time." She complained.

"Yeah, he is kinda loud. But you should he glad he's around. He's a good brother." Jake was so thankful to have both of them back.

"Are you glad I'm your sister, too?"
She asked hoping that he would say yes.

"I've been hoping you would be my sister for a long time." He answered.

He knew he had to change the subject. He promised his moms he would hold off on telling them until the time was right. Plus she's probably too young to understand anyway.

"Why don't we try to play with Boss. He looks like he's scared of Sam too." Jake said to his sister.

It ended up that Lex and Boss were a perfect fit. She spent the evening petting him and agreeing with him whenever he would bark at Sam. He would bark at him a lot, especially when Sammy pretended to pee on the furniture.
...

The next day the three stooges took the family out to lunch before their game that night. Pinoe offered Jake $50 to unscrew the salt shaker lid and give it to his mom.

"Whichever Mom you want. Just put it in front of them and if they use it the fifty bucks is yours'."She said.

He had never even seen that much money before, but he also didn't want his parents to change their minds about keeping him. He declined and got really quiet for the rest of the day.
...

At the game Ash sat in the stands with the kids. Ali had the Spirit make her oldest son a Krieger-Harris goalkeeper jersey that he could wear that night. So he was decked out.

The younger kids had a regular field player's Spirit jersey with Ali's number on it. They owned both variations of #11 and #1 but since Ali was the one playing they wore her number.

After the game the whole family joined Ali and the teams on the field. Hope pulled Ash aside and the two spent a long time talking.

When the two keepers joined the rest of the group Pinoe walked up to Ash and gave her a mischievous look.

"What?" Ash said.

"Can I see your scar?" Pinoe asked.

Hope smacked Pinoe in the back so hard the girl lost her balance and fell into Ashlyn.

Ash started to laugh. "It's cool. It's not that bad anymore. I do have a weird patch of hair that's growing around it so it might be hard to see.

Ashlyn moved her hair and bent down so that Megan and everyone else could see it. Ali noticed that Jacob seemed worried when he saw it. It was also his first time looking at it.

"It doesn't hurt. I think my brain is pretty much healed up." Ash looked at Ali for confirmation when she said that.

"I think it's getting there." Ali said it so carefully you would think she was talking about someone on their death bed.

Ali fixed Ashlyn's hair and covered up the scar. She hated seeing it. It reminded her of the worst moments of her life.

Ash could sense that her wife was worrying again. She gave her a smile and moved to stand beside her. She kept her arm around her shoulders until it was time to leave.

Jacob studied the two women and decided he wanted to do everything in his power to keep them happy and safe.
...

The flight home was a lot easier. Towards the end of the trip Jacob shared with Ashlyn what was on his mind.

"Do you like having me at your house?" He asked.

Ashlyn was taken by surprise. "Yeah. But it's not just my house. It's your house too."

Jake didn't know how to respond to that. Owning something of value wasn't something he was familiar with. And having a home was even more foreign to him.

"That lady Megan asked me to try to trick you at dinner. She said she would pay me $50. I really wanted the money but I was afraid if I did it you wouldn't want me anymore." He was practically staring a hole through the seat in front of him.

Ashlyn tapped his leg and asked him to look at her.

"Hey man, the reason we were so careful when we were first getting to know you is because we have no intention to ever give you up. You've heard a little bit about what I went through growing up, right?"

The boy nodded that he knew what she was referring too. "Your mother and I could never do that to you. You're stuck with us. Even if you screw up. Our love for you won't change. I promise you."

Ash paused for a moment because she wanted the boy to know she was serious.

"There will come a day when we'll have an argument or you'll hate us because we won't let you do something you really want to do. But I can promise you, son...that we will always do things from a heart of love for you."

Ashlyn gave the boy a small smile and said, "There is nothing you can do, there is nothing that you have done, and there is nothing anyone else could ever do or say that would make us stop loving you."

"And that's all there is to it." Ashlyn finished. She gave her son a side hug and kissed him on the cheek.

She settled back into her seat and asked, "Any other questions?"

"No. That pretty much covers it." He said.

"Love covers everything, son."

During the landing, Jacob took Ashlyn's hand and looked out the window watching the runway get closer and closer.

He wasn't scared anymore.

Chapter Text

"This sucks!" Ash sighed.

Her and Jacob were at the kitchen table 'studying' together. Jacob had quite a lot of schooling to catch up on to be able to start high school in the fall. They were really hoping he would be able to test well enough to be in the appropriate grade for his age. It was going to require a lot of work on his and his parents part.

Ashlyn was working on some reading comprehension exercises her neurologist gave her. She hated it. Something that should be easy was very difficult. She was ready to bail.

"Hey man, we should take a break." Ashlyn was a bad influence on her son.

"Mom wouldn't like that." He answered.

"Don't worry about her. I can handle her. Let's get out of here before she comes downstairs." Ashlyn grabbed her son's arm and pulled him towards the front door.

"I don't want to get in trouble, maybe we should stay here and study more." Jake was uncomfortable with upsetting either of his parents. He felt like he was in a no win situation.

"You're not gonna get in trouble. You're with me. I'm you're get out of jail free card." Jake had no idea what she meant by that and his face showed it. "Dude, I'm telling you, because you're with me your mom can't get mad."

"Uh...ok." He wasn't convinced but what else could he do.

"It will just be a quick break anyway." Ash assured him.
...

4 hours later the two returned home. They both had new longboards in their hands and were laughing about a scared pedestrian Jake almost ran over.

The laughs stopped.

Ashlyn saw her wife sitting at the kitchen table that was still filled with both of their study materials. Ali didn't say a word she just stared her wife down.

"Hey babe." Ash tried to melt the icy glare with a kiss. Ali turned her head just in time to cause her to miss. Ash tried to cover it up and just gave her a kiss on the cheek instead.

"Did you two have fun?" Ali asked. Poor Jake was terrified.

"Yeah, we were getting worn out with all the studying. We made a lot of progress, so we decided to take a short break." Ash tried to justify their absence but was failing miserably.

"Ashlyn, how is a 4 hour break considered short to you?" Ali was ready to let it fly. Ashlyn hesitated to answer and Ali took the opportunity to drive her point further. "You wasted half a day doing God knows what, keeping our son from catching up on his education."

Ali was really feeling it now. "Tell me, Ashlyn, what is so important that it takes priority over our son's education?"

"Calm down, Al. We were bored." Ash answered.

Wrong answer.

"You were bored? Is that the example you want to set for our children? That it's ok to just give up on something or blow it off because it's not entertaining or interesting enough?"

Ashlyn grabbed behind her neck and stretched it side to side. She had no answer.

"Can we talk about this in private, please?" Ashlyn asked.

Ali had a unwavering stern look, but she agreed to her wife's request. She stood up and headed upstairs without looking at her wife. She knew she would be following behind like a puppy. She didn't need to make sure.

Ash whispered to her oldest, "Listen, don't worry about this. I get in trouble all the time. Go find your brother and sister and have fun."

Ash quickly caught up with Ali and closed the door behind her.

Ash had her head down but her eyes were fixed on Ali. She wanted to wait for her to say whatever it was that she was gonna say.

Ali wanted to make Ashlyn squirm. Her behavior was absolutely unacceptable in her eyes.

"Well?" Ali asked. Her voice dripping with irritation. It wasn't so much a question as it was a challenge.

"Well...we got bored. No big deal."

"No big deal? Ahhh!!!" Ali was fed up. "You are so frustrating, Ashlyn! I have spent weeks trying to get our son to see the importance in working hard to catch up. And you managed to destroy all that work in an afternoon. Congratulations on your successful parenting!" Ali said sarcastically.

Ashlyn didn't say a word. Ali could tell she really hurt her wife, but she was too angry at the moment to change course.

"Maybe we need to finish this conversation later." Ali said. She opened their bedroom door to leave when she heard her wife.

"Just don't take it out on Jake. He didn't want to make you mad. He only went because I told him it would be ok."

Ali turned around almost offended. "I am well aware who's to blame, Ashlyn." And then she turned around and left her wife alone in the room.
...

Ali and the kids were all set up for dinner and a movie in the living room. They hadn't seen Ashlyn since the fight 2 hours ago. Ali thought about sending one of the kids up to get her but then her guilty conscience got in the way.

She knew she had to make things right.

...

Ali knocked on their bedroom door and waited for an answer. Normally she would just walk in but for some reason she thought she was intruding. Ashlyn didn't answer her knock though, so she slowly entered.

She found her wife asleep on their bed. "Well there goes any chance at a serious conversation." She quietly said to herself.

Ashlyn wasn't good with words when she is just woken up.

Ali moved towards her wife and sat next to her on the bed. She noticed her eyes were puffy and her face looked sad.

She had been crying.

Now Ali felt really bad. Why couldn't she had just been more patient with her wife. She thought back over the argument and decided that she really didn't even give Ashlyn a fair chance to explain her side. Now she felt even worse.

Ali put her hand on Ash's shoulder and gave her a little shake.

"Ashlyn" she whispered. "Dinner is ready and the kids are waiting for you to watch a movie." She wanted to add in...'and I'm sorry I'm a big jerk.' But she saved that thought just for herself.

The first sound Ash made in response was a sniffle. Her tears must have left a remnant behind before she fell asleep because when she opened her eyes they were still watery and red.

"Ash." Ali wiped her wife's eyes with the hem of her own sleeve. "I'm sorry for what I said."

Ash was still out of it. She scrunched her eyebrows and squinted her eyes at Ali. She was trying to figure out what was going on.

"Come down for dinner." Ali said and gave her a kiss on her tear stained cheek.
...

The family started dinner without Ashlyn. She took about 20 minutes to get straightened up. Sam attacked her and claimed her lap for movie night. Ashlyn was fine with that. She carried him to her recliner to make sure she had plenty of space from her wife who was on the couch.

Halfway through the movie Ali got up to refill everyone's drinks and Jacob offered to help. The boy had been quiet all night but finally spoke up when they reached the kitchen and had all the glasses filled and ready to go.

"I'm sorry that I didn't stay to study." He confessed.

Ali shook her head. "It's not your fault, sweetheart. Your mom just has a hard time sitting still sometimes."

"I could tell. I mean...she was really having a hard time with those puzzles the doctor gave her. I think she really did need a break."

Ali hadn't considered that Ashlyn was the one who needed the break. She figured Ash wanted to end Jake's misery and take him out for some fun.

"What do you mean?" Ali asked for clarification.

"I don't know. It just looked like she was really stuck. I would've offered to help her but I didn't want her to feel bad." Jacob said.

"I'm not mad at either of you. I should've been more patient with your mother. Thank you for telling me what really happened." Ali gave him a hug and motioned for him to help bring the drinks out to the rest of the family.

Ali looked at her wife and saw her holding onto Sam tightly. It almost seemed like she was hiding her face behind him.

Once again Ali felt like a jerk. Ashlyn was ashamed. She had seen that look a million times since her surgery. Ashlyn was ashamed because she was struggling to do something that should be simple. And she was struggling in front of her son. The same boy Ali had just spent weeks encouraging that an education and growing in intelligence are more important than anything else.

"Dang it!" Ali said as she walked over to her wife and offered her something to drink.

She handed her the glass and then lifted Samuel off of her. "Sammy can you sit with Jake and Lex for a while? I'm gonna take your seat for a little bit."

Sam was so entranced in the movie that he didn't even realize he had been moved.

Ali sat in her wife's lap and nestled in close until her head was right next to Ashlyn's. Ash tried to ignore her. She maintained eye contact with the cartoon lion on the tv screen and refused to acknowledge her.

Ali whispered into Ash's ear, "I'm sorry. I should have been more patient."

Ali didn't want to let the beans spill that Jake told her how Ashlyn had struggled with her comprehension exercises.

Ali continued. "You're a great parent. And a great wife. I should have given you a chance to share your thoughts and feelings, instead of assuming what I thought was automatically right."

Ashlyn stilled her breaths. Ali knew she was trying hard not to get emotional.

"Ashlyn," she whispered, "It's gonna get easier."

Ashlyn finally let herself relax into her wife. "Fighting with you is exhausting." Ashlyn joked. But they both knew it was true.

...

The next day Jake found Ali in the kitchen getting breakfast ready for the family.

"Mom?"

Ali jumped a little. She was very focused on the bacon crackling in the pan in front of her.

"Oh sorry." Jake apologized uncomfortably.

"It's ok. Your mom does it to me all the time. What's up?"

"I was just wondering if you guys were still fighting?" Jacob asked.

"Sweetheart, there is one thing you need to learn about me and your mom." Ali turned the burner off and gave Jake a piece of bacon to enjoy.

"Your mother drives me CRAZY! I'm serious. She frustrates me and makes me want to scream!" She said.

Poor Jake had half a piece of bacon sticking out of his mouth and a wide-eyed expression on his face. He did not expect to hear that.

"But the other thing you need to know about me and your mom is... YOUR MOTHER DRIVES ME CRAZY! " Ali said this with a look of pure bliss on her face.

"I'm madly in love with that crazy woman. I'm serious. She is my best friend and sometimes she annoys the heck out of me, but it's only because I care so much about her."

"I don't know. I guess I was worried that maybe I caused you to be mad at her." Jake said.

"Oh don't you worry about that. She does plenty to make me mad at her. But I can't stay mad for long. I'm a total sucker for her."

Ali added to prove her point. "Just yesterday, when we were in that argument, I realized I had already forgiven her before I even finished yelling at her! How ridiculous is that?"

"I guess it's better than being mad at her." He said.

"Yeah, it's a lot better." She grabbed some bacon for herself and chomped down on the salty goodness.

The two heard Ash and Sam singing a breakfast song they were making up as they went along. They saw Lex following behind with a sleepy Monster in her arms.

"Hey woman, breakfast smells good!" Ash said.

She was followed by sweet innocent Samuel saying "Hey woman, breakfast good!"

He didn't quite catch all of what Ash said but just enough to get her in trouble.

Ali looked at Jake and shook her head. "See what I mean? She drives me absolutely crazy!"

Chapter Text

"So Jakey....You got your eye on anyone these day?" Ashlyn decided she needed to harass her son a little bit.

The whole family was sitting around the table after dinner. Ali tried to have the majority of their meals together at the table so that the family could 'properly bond.' It was actually a really great idea. The kids seemed to open up about more important things after they had full stomachs. Ashlyn decided that it was as good a time as ever to get her quietest son to open up.

"No." He answered shortly. But he could tell his mom wasn't going to accept that simple answer, so he added, "The only people I hang out with are you guys." His face turned beet red. He wanted to be done with this conversation pronto.

"Come on, you're a catch. You take after me." Ash figured if he argued she could at least claim that she has helped him with his swag.

"I don't know how to talk to girls. I always sound like an idiot when I try to talk to them."

"Well why didn't you say so?" Ash got excited. She considered this area her specialty. "I am the master at getting girls."

Ali had kept quiet until this point in the conversation. She raised one eyebrow and said, "Excuse me?"

"You know what I mean. After I got you I retired my skills....Well, actually I have refined my skills. I continue to get you every day." Ashlyn said with a sweet smile, trying to atone for whatever trouble she might have gotten herself into.

"Ok. I will allow that answer." She leaned over towards Ashlyn's chair and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Ashlyn turned toward Jacob and whispered, "See what I mean?" She wagged her eyebrows up and down.

"Mommy didn't like you at first!" Lexi needed to set the record straight.

"Who told you that?" Ashlyn asked. Ali was in trouble.

"No, no, no....I didn't say I didn't like her. I said 'I was in a relationship.' There's a difference!" Ali felt like she was about to get in trouble for something that she felt like happened a million years ago.

"Actually, you said you 'weren't interested.' You broke my heart." Ashlyn gave her a look in hopes to make her feel more guilty.

"Mommy, no! Don't hurt Mama!" Samuel was very protective.

Ali pinched Ashlyn and told her to tell the story right and stop trying to get her in trouble.

"All right, all right....Here's what happened." Ashlyn began to tell her kids about how they first met and how unromantic it turned out to be at first.

...FLASHBACK BEGINS...

Ashlyn was warming up for a home game at UNC when she first saw her. She had earned a full scholarship there by working hard and getting the grades she needed to help her have a better future. The team was playing against Penn State, who was a pretty good team at the time, but everyone knew UNC was the team to beat.

Ashlyn loved game days. She felt like when she was playing soccer she could even the 'playing field,' so to speak. In every other way she felt less than others, but not on the pitch. She had just as much potential as anyone else and she made sure she didn't waste it. Later in life she would realize that soccer brought her everything good she has ever had, because it brought her Ali.

That day, while she was on the ground stretching, she saw the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Ali was across the field with her team and she was in the process of putting her hair up. Ash swore that the universe brought them together, because the way the sun was shining through Ali's brown hair made her look like she was surrounded by light. Even the breeze that day that was blowing lightly made Ali look like she was almost floating. Ash was mesmerized by her and felt that she was seeing a living and breathing angel. She felt like Heaven was orchestrating this moment.

After the game, UNC won 2-1, Ashlyn searched for her angel. She ended up finding her in the stands sitting with her team watching the men's team. It took Ashlyn a full 70 minutes, not including halftime, to work up the courage to talk to her.

She slowly approached the row where her and her friends were talking and laughing. She stood behind them for what felt like an awkward eternity. Finally, one of Ali's friends pointed her out. And it was now or never for Ashlyn.

"Hey, um...I was wondering if I could talk to you." Ashlyn felt foolish. She could feel the heat in her cheeks from the blood rushing to them.

Ali was charmed by the stranger in front of her. She wanted to make her feel more comfortable and placed her hand on Ashlyn's arm. This had the opposite effect. She went blank at her touch. Ashlyn should have known that if you touch an angel, you will lose the ability to speak.

"Are you ok?" Ali noticed that the girl in front of her was out of it. It took a few more moments for Ash to even register that the angel had spoken to her.

"Ummm...yeah. Sorry. You're just so pretty." Ash answered honestly, even though she thought she sounded like and idiot.

"Thank you." Ali decided she didn't want to have her new admirer embarrass herself in front of a group of people so she suggested that they continue their conversation somewhere else.

The two of them found some seats in the stands that were more private and Ali motioned for her to say what was on her mind.

"Well, umm. Thank you for talking to me. I umm.." Ash looked down at the bleachers in front of them. "Umm, sorry." Ashlyn laughed at herself a little bit. "Gosh, you're just so beautiful. I can't even put a sentence together."

"That's very sweet of you. I really do appreciate it." Ali answered her and put her hand on her back to show encouragement.

"Oh, and you shouldn't touch me. Everything moves in slow motion when you touch me." Ash warned.

"Ok." Ali moved her hand. Normally Ali would laugh in this type of situation but she really wanted to know what Ashlyn needed to say.

"I do like it when you touch me, but I have a hard time." Ashlyn thought she really made a mess of things.

Ali leaned back, making sure there were a few inches between them. "So, you wanted to tell me something?" Ali was intrigued and if she was honest, she was charmed by the stranger.

"I saw you during warm-ups and I knew that if I didn't ask you out that I would regret it for the rest of my life." It sounded like a line, but it ended up being true.

"That's very sweet of you. But I have a boyfriend. So, I'm not really interested. I'm sorry." Ali apologized.

"A boyfriend? Sorry, I did NOT get that vibe from you." Ashlyn felt bad thinking she might have offended her. Ali noticed and wanted to put her mind at ease.

"It's fine, really. My brother's gay. I love the gays!" Ali said this a little too loudly. She didn't know why but this girl made her nervous. She didn't want to look stupid in front of her.

"Wow, that's good to know. I guess I will talk to you some other time, then." Ash held out her hand for Ali to shake and the two left their separate ways.

Ashlyn gave up on the heavenly defender. She figured the girl was out of her league, anyway.

Ali, however, couldn't get the UNC girl out of her mind. She ended up googling her and trying to find out as much information about her as she could. She finally ended up getting one of her friends who she knew at UNC to get Ashlyn's phone number for her.

It took Ali 2 months to call her.

The two soccer players played each other again during that 2 month span. Ali kept Ashlyn's number in her wallet, even though she had it memorized. Ali wanted to approach her at the game but it was too much for her to admit that she might be attracted to a woman. She just wasn't ready. Ashlyn interpreted her distance at the game for a sure sign that she was barking up the wrong tree.

When Ali finally summoned the courage to call her she said she was only interested in a friendship. Ashlyn had her doubts at first but the fact that she was still with her doctor boyfriend seemed to confirm what she said was true.

Friendship only.

Ali did eventually break up with her doctor boyfriend, who Ashlyn believes was an angel himself. He was the one who noticed Ali was having difficulty breathing. He was the one who took her to the hospital when she had several mini heart attacks. He was the one who saved her life.

Ashlyn would one day (the day before their wedding) thank him for keeping Ali's heart safe for her.

After college Ali moved to Germany. She continued to have confusing feelings for Ashlyn. She wasn't ready to admit that she was gay, and even if she was she didn't want it to seem like her best friend was some experiment. These were the years that Ashlyn felt Ali drift away from her.

It was when Ali was finally called into National Team camp that the two women were forced to face each other. Ashlyn was there fighting for a spot on the roster, which didn't come for a while. Ali, on the other hand, once she was discovered her spot seemed locked. Everything at that first camp was awkward. Ali decided to suck it up and talk to the girl who had haunted her ever since the moment they met.

"Hey Ash." Ali nudged her while they waited in line for breakfast.

"Hey." Ash didn't really know what to say. It was Ali that pulled away from her to begin with.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry and I really miss you."

Ashlyn was not expecting that. She turned her head away. Ali could tell she was upset.

"I know I hurt you. I just needed some space to figure things out after I came out. I know it's not a good excuse, but it's the reason I changed towards you." Ali tried to get her to understand.

"I don't understand why you thought you had to hide it from me." Ashlyn had heard about her 'coming out' from Megan.

"I guess I have a lot I need to tell you. Please just give me a chance." Ali pleaded.

Ash let out a breath and said, "of course."

Ali explained that it was Ashlyn that she had been longing for, but she didn't want to rush things because coming out was confusing enough. She didn't want to ruin things with her best friend.

"You probably really hate me now, huh?" Ali asked.

Ashlyn couldn't take her eyes off of Ali's lips.

"Ash! Have you been listening to me at all?"

"What? Oh sorry. I um. I forgive you, I guess." Poor Ashlyn was a stuttering fool.

Ashlyn didn't have words to say but she knew after pining for Ali for almost 3 years, that she wasn't going to let this moment pass her by. She took Ali's head with one hand, fingers swimming in her hair, and pulled her in for a passionate and weighty kiss.

She told her how she was always the only one for her. No one else had ever been able to make her feel the rush and excitement of passion as well as the gentle tenderness of devotion that only Ali could. Ashlyn had measured all others to Ali's perfection and every one of them fell significantly short.

She was more than her best friend. She was her soul mate.

She told her that she would have waited ten lifetimes for her, because no one else could ever satisfy her.

They were married a year later.

...FLASHBACK ENDS...

Ali was swooning at the dinner table. The way her wife reminisced about their love just starting out made her emotional. The way that Ashlyn spoke to their children with conviction about her undying love for Ali made her regret making her wait so long. Ashlyn had it all figured out that first glimpse on the soccer field at UNC.

She owed everything to this woman who refused to give up on her.

Chapter Text

Ashlyn had the boys for the afternoon, while Ali practiced with the Spirit. Sam had a cough so he couldn't go to daycare with his sister. Ashlyn and Jacob both spent 2 hours on studying, with a few snack breaks thrown in. They were both making great progress.

Everything was getting easier for Ashlyn. Her doctor told her that she will probably wake up one day and everything will start to fall into place. That's exactly what she had been experiencing lately. She still wasn't 100% recovered but she was very close.

For the last 30 minutes of studying Samuel wanted to hug on Ashlyn. He gets even more clingy when he's sick. He had his face smashed against Ashlyn's chest for the rest of the time her and Jake were doing their homework.

After study time they made sure Sam ate something. He's a picky eater to begin with, but especially difficult when he's sick. Ashlyn bribed him with a popsicle to eat half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

After they ate they decided to visit Ali and the team. Ashlyn really missed playing and she had two bored boys who needed to get out of the house.

...

As soon as Ali saw the three she ran over to the sideline. She gave Ashlyn a look and then stroked Sam's head.

"Ashlyn, he should be in bed."

"He's ok. It's not like he's running a marathon or anything. He hasn't left my arms all day. He doesn't have a fever and he hasn't coughed in a while."

"Has he eaten anything?" Ali asked worriedly. She assumed Ash wouldn't have fed him because he would be fussy about it.

Ash looked at Jake and gave her wife a smirk. "Of course! Both my boys have eaten. What kind of mother do you think I am?"

At first Ali was skeptical. She looked at both Jacob and Ash with squinted eyes and was slow to give her approval. She knew it was very possible that these two could be up to something, but she dropped it because she knew they wouldn't do anything that wasn't good for Sam.

"Ok. I believe you." She gave all three a kiss. One on the cheek for the boys and a quick peck on the lips for her wife.

"We wanted to take you out to lunch." Ash offered.

"We've got at least another hour. Are you sure you wanna wait?" Ali was worried it was too hot for them to be sitting out.

"It'll be ok. It's not that long." Ash just wanted to have a taste of some soccer. She missed it so much.

"Alright, but get a hat or something for Sam. I don't want him to get dehydrated." Ali warned.

"Yeah, yeah. Stop worrying and get back to practice!" Ash sent Jacob to her car to get Sam's hat and she stole a bottle of water from the team's stash on the field. The three watched the practice from the team bench.

Samuel would wake up every now and then and cheer on all his favorites, especially his Mommy.

"Go Mommy, go!" Sam screamed over and over again.

Ali couldn't help but smile at the little boy but she finally had to tell him to stop because she could tell his voice was getting raspy.

"Hey, Mom." Jacob said to Ashlyn.

"Yeah?"

"Could I maybe play on a soccer team? I could work for the money that it would cost." He said.

"Um no. You don't have to pay, son. That's what me and your mom are for. And HECK YES you can play soccer!" She answered.

"Maybe you could give me a few tips."

"You wanna be a keeper?" Ash was ready to do a little celebratory dance in her head if he said yes.

"Maybe." He said.

Ash only did half a celebratory dance in her head for a maybe.

"Well, ok. We can get all the stuff you need today and then your mom and I will look for a team for you." She had it all figured out.

"Oh yeah." She added. "Your grandpa can help, too. He's a coach, you know."

Jacob wasn't sure about his grandpa but he was still excited about everything else.
...

The family went out to lunch and bought Jake cleats, shin guards, and a soccer ball. Ash made sure to get him some keeper gloves too. They let Samuel pick out a mini ball and they even picked out some pink shin guards for Lexi. The Krieger-Harris house was already overflowing with soccer stuff but you could never have too much, in their opinion.

Ali invited her dad over for dinner and then asked him to show Jacob some drills he could do on his own to improve his footwork. Mr. Krieger was a great coach and was a wizard at these sort of things.

When Ali's dad went to the back yard to pass the ball around Jacob got really stiff. He grabbed Ali's hand and asked if she would go with him. She knew he was nervous but also knew her dad was the last person in the world he needed to be afraid of.

"Sweetheart, it's ok. I'll go out there if you want me to, but your grandpa is a good man." She didn't want to bring up anything too specific, but she still wanted to make the point that he was safe now.

She called for Lex to join them since Ash and Sam were asleep on the couch. She felt like her wife was working too hard lately trying to get back her reading comprehension skills. She was wearing herself out!

Ali stopped to give Ash a kiss on the forehead and wake up Sam just long enough to take a few sips of water. Afterwards she headed outside with the other two kids and her dad.

Ashlyn woke up to a 3 year old squishing her cheeks together. He was making fart noises every time he squished. If Ali was there she would have put a stop to it, but instead he had free reign to his Mama's face.

When he noticed her opening her eyes he stopped and got less than an inch away from her face and smiled really big at her.

"Looks like someone's feeling better." She said to him. Ashlyn was still pretty tired but she knew her nap time was long gone.

She made her way to the kitchen and filled a sippy cup with water for Sam to drink. She just stuffed her face in the sink and took a drink straight from the faucet.

Ashlyn brought a very wiggly boy out side to join the rest of the family. She handed him to Ali and went to lie down on one of the lounge chairs they have.

Ali smiled at her half asleep wife and followed her to make sure she was ok.

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" Samuel was trying to wiggle out of Ali's arms.

"I wanna play with Gramps!" Ali felt his head and made sure he seemed ok before setting him down and letting him run wild.

"Hey baby." Ali sat in the open space of the chair where Ash was laying.

"Hey." Ash yawned out.

"Are you feeling ok?" Ali felt her forehead just to make sure she wasn't sick.

"I'm fine. Just tired." Ash answered honestly.

Ali felt good about that answer and cuddled up next to her and watched their kids play with her dad. She rested her head on Ashlyn's chest and listened to her breaths even out.

Everything felt perfect.

Perfection lasted only a few moments. Her smile was soon replaced with a mix between anger and fear. During one of the drills her dad put his hand on Jake's shoulder and Jacob immediately pushed him hard to get away. Ali saw the whole thing and knew that her dad's actions were completely innocent.

Ali jumped off the chair, startling a no longer sleeping Ashlyn, and yelled at her son.

"Jacob, what are you doing?"

Jake didn't answer. It seemed he was surprised by his actions too. Ali's dad was shocked but he didn't make any moves toward Jacob.

The usually quiet man said, "I'm sorry if I surprised you or made you uncomfortable."

Jake still didn't answer. By this time Ash had joined them and had a scared Sam and Lexi hiding behind her legs.

"Jacob, that behavior is unacceptable! You apologize to your grandfather right now!" Ali scolded.

Ashlyn put her hand on her wife's shoulder and whispered, "Maybe you should calm down a little bit, babe."

At Ash's touch and words Ali did calm down. But Jacob still didn't say a word.

Ken decided soccer practice was over and gave everyone a wave before he left. He would usually give hugs and kisses but this time he felt like it'd be best not to.

"You're going to call him in the morning and apologize, Jacob. I mean it. He came here to help you and you thank him by becoming violent with him. That is unacceptable!" Ali didn't want him to think they would just let it go because her dad acted like he wasn't too bothered by it.

...

Ali was a wreck that night. Jake hadn't spoken since the 'pushing incident' and Ali was torn between trying to teach her son not to be violent and trying to be sensitive to any possible past issues he might struggle with. Being a good parent is sometimes a guessing game.

Ashlyn could tell she was being too hard on herself. She enveloped her wife from behind and held her tight.

"Babe, you did everything right. He's a teenager. I bet he feels worse than you do." Ashlyn said.

"Then why does he refuse to talk to me?" Ali asked ready to cry because she felt like a failure.

"He hasn't spoken to anyone. It's not just you. If you ask me it's probably because he doesn't know what to say. He's a quiet boy to begin with, babe. That's nothing new."

Ali turned around so that she could bury her face in Ashlyn's chest. She mumbled, "That's true."

Ashlyn laughed because she knew exactly what her wife said even though it sounded like gibberish.

"Why don't you go take a bubble bath and I'll put the kids to bed." She kissed the top of Ali's head multiple times before she finally answered with a quiet "ok."
...

Ashlyn tucked the younger ones in bed and went to check on Jacob. He was sitting up in his bed, with the light turned off and listening to music through his oversized headphones that Ashlyn had picked out for him.

Since he didn't answer when she knocked she carefully let herself in. She flipped on the light and saw her son was wide awake. When he saw her he took off is headphones and put his head down. He wanted to avoid eye contact. He figured she was disappointed in him.

Instead of scolding him or rehashing the events from that night, Ashlyn told him the story about her dad.

She told him that he told her to her face he didn't want her. She told him about some of the terrible things that he had done to her and what some of her many foster parents had done, as well.

His eyes started to well up. He didn't want Ashlyn to see it, but she did. Ash wasn't sure if his tears were for her or himself, or both. Even though she wanted to offer comfort to him she wasn't done with her story.

She brought up the night that Ali's dad took her out to dinner and shared how nervous she was that he was disappointed in her. And then she told him that Ken had given her something she had been searching for for as long as she could remember...a father.

"You see son, there's a reason I thought the worst when he took me out that night. That's all I ever knew, ya know? But he's not like those other guys in my past. He's one of the good ones. Now, I know why you reacted the way you did. I completely understand. Your mom doesn't quite understand because she had a different experience than we did. And I'm glad for that. She had her dad...your grandpa...he's a good man and he's not going to hurt you. You have my word."

"I'm sorry. I felt bad as soon as I did it. And then Mom got really mad. I thought she probably hated me." He finally spoke.

"She could never hate you. Never."

"I know you say that but...I don't feel good enough for you guys. I've been trying to be as perfect as possible, but I was bound to mess up and now you know..."

"Know what?" Ash asked.

"That I'm not good enough. I keep thinking that you're gonna want to get rid of me." He said with his head still down. He was biting his lower lip trying to keep the tears from spilling.

"Hold on a sec." Ash left the room and ran to find Ali. She had just gotten out of the bath and had changed into her pajamas.

"Here." Ashlyn threw her robe at her and grabbed her hand. She led her into Jake's room and told her to sit on the bed.

"What's up?" Ali asked. She was very confused by her wife's sudden craziness.

"Jake, will you please tell her what you just told me?" Ashlyn wanted him to hear Ali's answer for himself.

He wasn't feeling so talkative anymore. He kept chewing on his lip and looking down at the headphones in his hands.

Ash reached over and put a hand on his shoulder. "Son. It's ok. Just tell her. I promise it's ok."

"I told her," he took a breath, "that I'm not good enough and you'll probably want to get rid of me."

Ali was devastated. She threw her arms around him and broke out into tears before he could say another word.

"Jacob, we could never give you up! And you're better than 'good enough.' You're perfect to me. Just the way you are." Ali set the record straight.

"But I pushed grandpa. You were mad at me."

"I was mad at you, that's true. But I know my dad a lot better than you do. I should have been more understanding. I still want you to apologize but I understand why you responded like that." Ali said.

"Do you think he will still be willing to help me with soccer?" Jake asked.

Ali smiled. "I am confident that he would love to help you. Trust me. That guy lives for that stuff."

The three made sure everyone was feeling better and called it a night. When the women returned to their room they found 2 extra guests in their bed. Samuel and Monster had taken over Ashlyn's side of the bed. Both visitors woke up when the two women tried to go to sleep.

Sam crawled on top of his Mama and played drum rhythms on her head. Ali couldn't help but laugh.

"Sam-Bam, what are you doing?" Ash asked.

"Mama!" He said excitedly completely missing the fact that he was just asked a question.

"Mama!" Ashlyn apparently didn't answer him quickly enough.

"What, son?" She finally said.

"Monster ate poop."

Ash started cracking up and Ali realized that the very same dog her son was talking about was licking her face.

Ali immediately sprang up and kicked the dog out of bed. She told her son to take him back to his room and make sure he stayed there!

...

The next day Jacob apologized to his grandfather right before they practiced juggling with a tennis ball for almost an hour. Jacob could tell he was getting better in his ball handling skills but even more so his heart was getting better too.

Chapter Text

"Someone's looking dapper." Ali complimented her wife as she gave her a thorough look over.

"You know it! It's date night with my woman." Ash answered arrogantly.

"Birthday date night." Ali corrected.

"Oh, I'm sorry... Is it your birthday today? I must have forgotten. You know how brain injuries can be?" Ashlyn loved giving her wife a hard time.

"Hey, I told you not to joke about that. It's not funny. I almost lost you." Ali was all business.

"I think it's a little funny." Ash answered trying to get her over-protective birthday girl to relax.

"It's not! Trust me. So just drop it!"

"Alright, alright. Relax. Some people can't take a joke these days!" Ash said.

"Yeah, yeah." Ali was ready for a change of subject.

"I guess it's true, what they say." Ash wasn't ready to get serious quite yet.

"What's that?"

"You really do start losing your sense of humor in your old age." She joked.

"Stop! You're such a jerk!" Ali slapped her wife on the arm.

"Yes, but I'm a young jerk." Ashlyn loved the fact that she will always be able to tease Ali about her age. No matter how old they get, Ali will always be the cougar in the relationship.

"You are a young jerk and your about to get smacked again by your angry wife." Ali was ready to silence her immature wife.

"Ooh, chills..." Ash faked concern.

Ali shook her head at her wife and then gave her a sign of surrender. "Can we please just be serious for one night?"

Ashlyn couldn't deny the birthday girl. She took her face in both hands and brought her in for a tender kiss. "Of course, babe. I love you. Happy birthday."

...

Ash took Ali on a sunset dinner cruise on the Potomac River. The two danced and shared a romantic moment or two. Ashlyn held Ali close the entire evening.

"Tonight has been perfect, Ash. Thank you."

"Perfect is what you deserve, babe. I love you more every day." Ashlyn truly did feel more and more in love with her beautiful wife as time passed. She discovered more beauty within Ali than she ever imagined possible.

"I wish we could freeze time, ya know? I wish we could stay in this moment, right here, with the sunset as a backdrop and my sexy wife keeping me warm." Ali held on to her wife even tighter as she said this.

Ashlyn dropped her lips to her wife's neck and began to place light kisses from her collar bone to her jaw. She removed a strand of Ali's hair and began to kiss behind her ear. She gave her lobe a gentle tug with her teeth before coming back to reality.

She pulled back enough to look deeply into her wife's eyes. Ash licked her lips and Ali knew they needed to find somewhere more private, and soon.

The couple found a secluded area on the back of the ship and Ashlyn was set on showing her wife a good time.

She was thanking God that her wife wore a short length dress, because it gave her easier access to where she needed to go. She lifted the hem of her dress up just enough to slip her hand in and do what she has done so many times before.

Ashlyn knew how to get her wife worked up and she knew how to get her right to the edge and keep her there. Ali, however, was not in the mood to wait.

"Ash, please." She wanted to explain to her wife in detail how they were in a public place and could be interrupted at any time. She would have liked to tell her that this wasn't the time nor the place for them to go slow, but she was incapable of forming sentences at the moment.

"Baby, please!" Ali begged.

Ashlyn smirked and removed her hand. Ali let out a sigh that was half relief and half disappointment. Ashlyn kissed her passionately and then lifted Ali off the ground. She pushed her against the side of the boat and lifted her so that she could put her shoulder underneath one of Ali's legs.

Ashlyn had to have a taste of her wife.

Ali threw her head back and let out a long and loud moan. There was no chance of trying to be quiet anymore. Her wife had full control.

Ashlyn finally gave her wife the release she was looking for and sent her over the moon. On her way back to earth she fell into her wife's arms, her legs unable to support her own weight. Ashlyn was more than happy to hold her close and keep her from falling too far.

...

The women arrived back home pretty late. Ali's dad was asleep on the couch and the kids had been asleep hours ago.

"Baby, I owe you big time for tonight." Ali said. She snuck a snack from the fridge. She was famished.

"Nah, you're worth it. I owe you everything." Ashlyn was genuinely grateful for her wife and tried to never take her for granted.

Especially over the last few months, Ali has come through huge for Ashlyn. She felt she had a debt that she could never repay.

"Baby," Ali stepped close to her wife. "I feel the same way about you." The two shared a kiss and decided it was time to relieve their sleeping babysitter of his duty.

On the way to the living room Ali offered her wife a bite of the apple she was munching on and Ashlyn answered, "Nah, I already ate." She gave her wife a wink and watched as Ali's face changed to a dark shade of red.

"Ashlyn, my dad is in the next room!"

"What? I was talking about the filet mignon. Get your mind out of the gutter, Cougar."

Happy birthday, indeed.

Chapter Text

Ali woke up first.

This is how their morning routine almost always goes. Her wife is usually fast asleep but always touching her in some way. Ali thinks it's sweet that her wife, even when unconscious, seems to be reaching for her.

On this particular morning, Ali woke up to find Ashlyn laying on her stomach with her face smashed into her right arm. Ash had one arm protectively holding Ali in place.

Ali has no choice but to smile. Even though this is what the majority of their mornings are like, she still appreciated it like it was their first morning together. Unfortunately, on this morning, they did have to face the day sooner rather than later.

"Baby, it's time to get up." Ali bounced her shoulder up gently to try to stir her wife awake.

"Ugh." Her wife groaned. Ash didn't like that idea.

"Sorry, baby. I've gotta get breakfast going and you need to make sure the kids are up and ready. We have an early start today." Ali would rather not disrupt her wife's rest but they had an important day ahead of them.

"What? Why?" Ashlyn mumbled against her wife's skin. She was still mostly asleep.

Ali smiled and whispered. "Because today is the day we officially adopt our boy."

Ali could feel Ash smile. Her wife let out another groan but it's sounded much happier than the first. Ashlyn stretched out her arms and legs and rolled onto her back. Ali could tell she was working on waking up so she left her to get herself and breakfast ready. But before she left she gave her wife a kiss and a whispered' "I love you."
...

Ashlyn checked in on the youngest of the three first. Little Sam was snuggled up with his favorite pup. The two were snoring in unison. Ashlyn didn't even bother waking him up She just scooped him up and let him continue to find sleep in her arms. Little Monster followed them slowly to Lexi's room.

Ash sat on the edge of Lex's bed and gently woke her. She whispered, "Hey my little princess, it's time to get up."

Lex slowly opened her eyes and saw her brother still asleep. She decided that was a good idea. She sat up and hugged her Mama.

"Mama, can you hold me, too?" She needed a little extra love'n this morning.

"Of course, climb on up, princess." Ash answered her very tired daughter.

The three of them arrived at Jacob's room and Ash realized she had a problem. In her right hand she held Samuel, her left sat Lexi...she ran out of hands to knock on Jake's door.

"Lex, can you do me a favor and knock on your brother's door?"

Lexi huffed like it was a huge chore for her to open her eyes and reach for the door. She knocked and when Jake answered she huffed again with the task of turning the knob. Life is tough for an almost 6 year old princess.

"Hey Jake, your mom's working on breakfast." Ash noticed that Jake was fully dressed and ready for the day. She wondered how early the teenage boy, who usually hates getting up earlier than necessary, must have woken up.

"Ok." He answered shortly.

The boy tried not to let on, but he was nervous for the day's main event. The family had 2 lawyers meeting them at the adoption court at 9am. One lawyer to represent Ashlyn and Ali and the other to represent Jacob and his best interests.

The boy barely slept the previous night. He thought up every possible scenario of why the judge might not approve his addition to the Krieger-Harris family.

He just knew in his heart that he would be seen unfit to legally join the clan that took him in. If the judge couldn't find a reason he was sure the women he had come to know as parents would change their minds at the last second. It was all just too good to be true. These sort of things just don't happen to him.

Monster began to bark at the family gathered in Jake's room. He could smell breakfast and was ready to sneak handouts and dropped food from the smallest children.

His four humans decided to follow him to the kitchen and see what Ali had whipped up.

Ashlyn, with two kids in hand, kissed her wife and put both down in their designated seats. Ali had to laugh at the trio's matching bed heads.

"So I guess we're getting ready AFTER breakfast, huh?" She laughed and gave Sam's messy hair a tousle.

"We need nutrients to give us strength to look our best." Ash answered.

"Uh huh. Yeah right." Ali rolled her eyes and then looked at her soon to be legal son. She walked over to him, placed a hand on his shoulder and said, "You see? THIS is the goal!" She gave him a kiss on the cheek and thanked him for his punctuality.

"Listen, some of us just need a little more time to warm up to the morning. We can't all be a perfect specimen so early in the morning like my boy here." Ash said, pointing her thumb towards Jake.

For the first time that morning Jacob smiled. It sure didn't seem like his new parents had any notion to change their minds about adopting him.

...

The court proceedings went as expected. The judge determined it was, in fact, in the best interest of Jacob to be legally appointed to the care of Ali and Ashlyn.

There was one thing that happened that the women didn't expect. At the end of the proceedings Jacob's lawyer alerted the judge that the boy desired to change his name. He legally became Jacob Isaac Krieger-Harris.

The women had told him that he had the option to do that, but they didn't want to force it on him. Ever since they had spoken about it he knew that he wanted to do it, but he wanted to save it as a surprise for the women who had changed his life.

The Krieger-Harris family, plus Ali's mom and dad, cheered for their new legal family member. Of course they loved him long before it became official but it was a moment to celebrate. Jacob never would have imagined even one person, let alone 6, cheering for him. His world was definitely changing.

...

The family had a big party back at the house. Ali had it catered to make sure everything was perfect. She didn't trust herself to plan out the menu and prepare it. She knew she would be an emotional wreck leading up to the proceedings.

She just wanted everything to be flawless for her son. He deserved to feel love and acceptance more than anyone else, she thought. For Ali that meant making sure these details were taken care of. Even if her wife couldn't care less about these things.

The music and laughing were loud. The food was good and the family was happy. Jacob couldn't believe that all of this was because of him. He had a permanent smile on his face the rest of the day.

Ashlyn set up a slip-n-slide in the back yard. Sam begged to let Monster slide on it. Ash agreed but only if Sam held him and sat on his backside when sliding. She didn't want to encourage hurling a dog down a wet surface. Although she did think it would probably be hilarious.

Towards the end of the night Ali observed her dad having a serious discussion with Jacob by the old oak tree. She wondered what the two could be talking about for so long. When she saw her dad call for Ashlyn to join them her curiosity was peaked even more.

"What are ya'll talking about over here?" Ali asked.

Jacob and Ashlyn both seemed to be hiding a smile.

"It's nothing, sweetheart." Ali's dad finally answered. He was the only one able to keep a straight face.

"You three are up to something." Ali called them out on the obvious. "I expect these things from the two of them," Ali pointed out Ash and Jake, "but not you, Dad!"

"Like I said, honey, it's nothing." He gave his daughter a kiss on top of her head and left to join Sam and Monster in a conversation about race cars.

Ali kept her gaze on her wife so she couldn't see her dad look back and exchange a smile with his grandson.

"Mmm hmm." Ali was skeptical, but she decided to let it go. They had a lot more celebrating to do.

...

Jacob felt like a huge weight had finally been taken off of his shoulders. He was free to feel safe for the first time in his life. The security and acceptance of a real family, who truly loved him, was unknown territory for him.

He no longer had to worry about where he would sleep, or if he would eat that day. He didn't have to worry about sleeping with one eye open to make sure no one would take his stuff or try to hurt him. He didn't have to worry about cold winters or dangerously hot summers.

By some miracle he was brought to the very family he had been looking for all his life. And by the biggest miracle of all, the parents who had taken care of his siblings loved him too, and wanted to also take care of him.

Maybe he really could be more than he ever thought possible. Maybe, just maybe, his future was bright after all.
...

After the family had cleaned up and was ready for bed, Ali gave Ashlyn the task of bathing the dog. She decided it was Ashlyn who let him get all wet and stinky so it should be Ashlyn who cleaned him up.

Once Monster received a wash and blow dry, (Ash didn't have patience for an air dry), she returned the dog to Samuel's side and kissed them both goodnight. She found her wife finishing up tucking in Lexi.

The two finished off their nightly rounds at Jacob's room. "Son, today was a great day." Ashlyn said. "We are dang proud of you."

Ali kissed him goodnight and told him, "There's no going back now, mister. You're stuck with us." She looked at her wife and said, "I think we got the better end of this deal."

They both gave him a kiss and turned out his light. After a long day of epic family celebrations it was finally time to go to bed. Ashlyn knew Ali stressed out whenever they had people over. She decided to give her wife a massage to help her relax.

Ali was feeling much better with every passing second. Ali grabbed one of Ashlyn's hands that was rubbing her shoulder and asked, "Baby, what were you, Jacob and my dad talking about earlier?"

Ashlyn immediately stopped what she was doing and took in a sharp breath before saying, "Um, nothing. Don't worry about it."

Ali knew Ash was hiding something. She's so obvious about it. Why does she even try? Ali knows her better than she knows herself

"Ashlyn, I'm gonna ask you one more time. And let me remind you that I'm the one who has the power to keep you happy or...hmm how should I put this?...frustrated."

Ashlyn knew exactly what her wife meant and her eyes went wide. "Now, what were you three talking about?" Ali asked and then quickly followed with, "I will know if you lie to me. So don't even try!"

Ashlyn swallowed hard before answering. "Um we were just discussing..." Ashlyn's eyes were wandering the room looking for anything that she might be able to use as an idea to appease her wife.

"Ash, let me stop you right there. DO NOT try to make up a story, right now. That's the same as lying."

"Oh. I would never do that, Alex. You know me." Ash answered, trying to stall.

"I do know you. Now answer the question!" Ali scolded.

Ash gave up trying to deceive her wife. Ali could tell by the look on her face that she was ready to finally give honesty a chance.

"We were talking about building a tree house. First it was gonna be me and your dad. And then Jake came along. Now that he's getting along better with your dad, we decided it would be a really good thing for him to help us."

Ashlyn and Ali's dad had kept the idea of a tree house from Ali because they knew she wouldn't like it. They thought that she would find a million things to worry about and forbid then from pursuing the idea of building it. So they wanted to make sure they had all their ducks in a row before talking to her about it. They wanted to make sure they played their cards right.

"A tree house?" Ali said.

Ali started cracking up, much to her wife's surprise.

"It's not THAT bad of an idea." Ashlyn defended.

"I think it's a great idea." Ali answered.

"Wait.....What?" Ash was shocked.

"It sounds like a great bonding project for you three. I love it!"

"Ok."

"Don't be so shocked! Kyle and I had a tree house. It was great. Our babies deserve one too. Now, can we get some sleep, please?"

"Yeah, of course." Ash said with a half smile, still shocked from her wife's approval.

Ashlyn spent the night thinking up plans and ideas for their new tree house.

"What do you think of zip line? It can go from Sam's window right to the tree house. That would be awesome." Ash asked.

"Are you crazy?! Do you know how dangerous that is?" Ali was quick to refuse her wife's idea.

"Ah yes, there's the woman I married. When you first agreed so easily I was worried you might have been some kind of clone, or something. That was a test." Ash said.

But the truth was Ashlyn really did think a zip line would be awesome.

Chapter Text

"Ashlyn, I need you!" Ali was hysterical. Ashlyn was at Jacob's soccer practice when her wife called her in tears.

"Babe, calm down. What's wrong?" Ashlyn knew the best way she could help her wife was to get her to calm down.

"Samuel's hurt! He's refusing to let anyone touch him. I don't know if I should call 911 or not. He won't let me look at him." Ali was freaking out.

"What happened?" Ash asked. She was already packing up her stuff and calling for Jake to come to her.

"I'm not sure. I should have kept a closer eye on him...." Ali couldn't finish explaining to Ashlyn because she was sobbing. She could hear Sam's screams in the background.

By the time Ali was together enough to tell her as much as she knew, she had gotten both Jake and their stuff in her Jeep and they were on their way.

Ash arrived home and sprinted to the house. She found Samuel in a mix of crying, kicking and screaming at Ali. He refused to calm down or accept her help.

Ashlyn put a hand on her shoulder to let her know she was there. She went straight to the crying boy. Immediately the boy stopped struggling and let Ashlyn comfort him. Poor Ali, though she was glad he was willing to accept Ashlyn's help, she was hurt about how angry he seemed at her.

"What's wrong, Sam-Bam?" Ash asked calmly.

"My arm hurts. I fell off the slide." He barely raised his left arm trying to show his Mama. Ash could tell right away that it was broken.

Ash gave Ali a sad look. She knew Ali felt bad enough for the injury alone. Samuel's behavior must've broken her heart.

"We're gonna have to take you to the hospital, ok bud?" Ashlyn carefully picked him up. She carried him to where the rest of the family had gathered in worry for the boy.

"Alex, what do we need to get him ready for the hospital?" Ali was stunned. Ashlyn's voice snapped her out of it.

"Uhh...I've got all the insurance info in my purse. I'll pack a bag really fast, in case he gets hungry or bored." Ali was staring at their youngest with tears in her eyes.

She was truly overwhelmed. She's usually the one who knows just what to do. When Ashlyn's appendix ruptured she was able to handle that without missing a beat, but an angry and injured 3 year old really knocked her out of her rhythm.

"Als, it's ok." Ash said calmly. "We'll fix all this once he's not in pain. I promise." Ash watched as her wife seemed to shrink in front of her. She could tell Sam wasn't the only one hurting.

Sam was clinging to Ashlyn's neck with his right arm and crying without a sign of letting up. He was fighting with her when she tried to put him in his car seat. He just wanted to be held. He refused to let go.

They came up with a compromise. Ash let Ali drive and Ash sat in the back seat, right in between Lexi and his car seats. Jake went up front with Ali and was instructed by Ash to hold her hand. Ash knew that this simple action would calm Ali down almost immediately.

Jacob's touch did calm Ali down. Not only was it a presence of comfort but it caused her Super Mom DNA to take over. She went from hysterical to calm and collected because she felt she needed to be strong for Jacob. This transferred to her other two kids, as well.

The children's hospital ER was packed. Sam took up his usual spot in Ashlyn's arms, holding tight to her neck. Unfortunately this time he was quietly crying on her shoulder and moaning in pain.

Ali couldn't stand it any longer. She felt they had waited long enough. Ashlyn whispered something to Sam as they watched her storm up to the check in desk.

"My baby is in severe pain! We need to be seen immediately. I've filled out all your ridiculous paperwork. We've waited for over an hour. This is unacceptable. He's 3 years old and needs help!" Ali wasn't yelling per se, but she wasn't speaking calmly either.

"Ma'am," the receptionist said. "We are doing the best we can. You came at a busy time." She seemed nice. Ali probably would have thought she was nice any other time.

"My son is having trouble breathing." She totally just lied. "Are you gonna let him die because you're too 'busy' to help him?"

Ali knew from Ashlyn's many trips to the ER that the staff seems to jump whenever shortness of breath, chest pain, head trauma or stomach pain is mentioned. She was in over protective mom mode and decided to hold no punches.

She was getting her baby checked out and it was going to be soon!

Sure enough, the woman behind the desk changed her opinion about the seriousness of the boy's condition.

"Ma'am you didn't write that on his paperwork. We were unaware." She said.

"Well, it just started." Ali, apparently, was a good liar.

"Bring him up here and we'll take him back."

Success!
...

Super Mom was asked about the boy's sudden shortness of breath and she told him he must have been miraculously healed. She received a knowing look from her wife but ignored it completely.

Sam broke his arm. He was excited he got to pick out a camo cast. Ashlyn convinced him it would make him a more difficult ninja to find because he would blend in with his surroundings.
...

On the way home Sam let Ali sit next to him. He wasn't too friendly about it but he didn't protest. Ash kept checking on the two in her rear view mirror. She knew as soon as they got out of the car she needed to have a conversation with the other half of Team Awesome.

They went through a drive thru and got the kids ice cream. Ash sent Jake with Lex and the house key when they arrived home. Ali was blocked from getting out because of the car seats. She unbuckled Sam but had to wait for Ash to get him out before she could leave.

Ashlyn saw an opportunity. So she took it.

"Hold up, Sam-Bam." Ash said when he reached his one good hand out for her.

If Ali was being honest, she would have told Ash that she was being irritating by holding up the child unloading process. But she felt like she was already on thin ice. Her wife caught her in a lie at the hospital. Ali wanted to make sure she was on her best behavior. It hardly ever happens, but she didn't want to get scolded by Ashlyn.

"Samuel Christopher." Ash rarely dropped down the middle name on her kids but she felt the situation warranted it. "Why were you so mean to Mommy when you got hurt? She was trying to help you."

"No, mommy didn't help me." He sternly answered.

"She tried to help you, but you wouldn't let her." Ash corrected the angry boy.

"No! I asked her to help me and she didn't!" He was certain he was right on this.

"Sweetheart, you yelled for help as you were falling. I couldn't get to you." Ali defended herself.

"You didn't catch me!" The boy used his good hand to point at her accusingly.

"Samuel, you were already falling I couldn't get to you in time. I tried, but it was too late."

"Yeah Sam, Mommy isn't as fast as me and you. She doesn't have ninja speed like us. You can't blame her. She's just a civilian." Ash said.

Ali rolled her eyes.

"Please, I'm so much faster than you." Ali challenged.

"Yeah right! In your dreams, woman!" Ash said.

"Yeah, woman!" Sam smiled and offered his Mama a right handed high five. Ali would have been offended but the exchange changed Sam's attitude instantly.

"Ninja Sam, can you forgive Mommy?" Ash asked. She said it in such a way the boy took it like it was his duty to do this.

"Yes!" Sam saluted.

"Ninja Sam, will you please tell your Mommy you're sorry for being mean to her?" Ash continued.

"Yes, Mama." Sam wasn't as excited about that request but he knew it was just as important to being a good ninja.

"Mommy, I sorry." The boy's eyes started to well up and both women were satisfied with his sincerity.

"Thank you, my love." Ali said and kissed him on the forehead.

"Alright, so what do you two say about going inside and letting Monster see how cool your cast looks?" Ashlyn asked.

"Yeah, cool!" Sam did a fist pump and let Ashlyn take him out of his seat.

Once both Sam and Ali were out Ash handed the boy to her wife and said, "You better hold him tight."

"Why? Ash, what are you d..." Ali was cut off by Ashlyn picking her up and carrying them into the house.

This abrupt action caused Sam to hold tightly to Ali. He no longer held a grudge. The one armed boy could only hold on to his Mommy.

Once they got inside Ashlyn put both of them down. Sam ran straight to Monster and pretended to karate chop him with his camo arm.

"Mama! Monster can't see my new ninja arm." Sam was excited for his new secret attack strategy.

"That's awesome. Just make sure not to really hit him, ok bud?" Ash instructed.

"Ok, Mama." The boy continued to karate chop.

"And please be careful, sweetheart. I don't want you to hurt your other arm." Ali was worried the boy might get a little too excited and hurl himself into something hard again.

"Ok, Mommy." The boy answered.

Ali added, "I love you, baby."

"Love you, Mommy." The boy said without a second thought. Ali's boy was back.
...

Ali sentenced the whole family, except for Jacob, to nap time. Truthfully, they all could use it. Ash held Ali in her arms and before letting her wife drift off to sleep she wanted to address one more thing with her.

"So, babe." Ash said.

"Hmm." Ali hummed in response. She was so ready to get some sleep.

"I just wanted you to know that when you went all crazy on that receptionist, me and Sam had a little talk." Ash knew Ali would rather they hadn't noticed.

"Ok?"

"I told him if anyone could get them to help him feel better, it was you. He nodded his head and through his tears told me that he was glad you're his Mommy. I just thought you should know that." Ashlyn said and squeezed her wife a little tighter before closing her eyes to fall asleep.

"Thank you." Ali whispered. Ashlyn always knew what to say to make things better.

Chapter Text

“Luuuuuucy, I’m home.” Ali laughed at herself as she did her best Ricky Ricardo impersonation when she arrived home.

“Hey babe.” Ash seemed strangely subdued.

“Hey there. Tough day?” Ali walked up behind her wife who was loading the dishwasher.

Ali noticed something was a little off. “Ash, why are you wearing sunglasses in the house? Is your head ok?” Ali expected the worst.

“My head’s fine.” Ash tipped up her glasses to show Ali a very red, swollen and oozing left eye.

“Oh my goodness! What happened?” Ali’s concern was rising by the second.

“It’s fine. Sam and I were taking a nap and he was dreaming, I guess, and in his dream he was a robot with a rocket launcher arm.” Ash said. Her wife had no idea what this had to do with anything, even though it seemed like Ashlyn thought it explained everything.

“And...” Ali gestured for her to continue.

“And....apparently shooting his rocket launcher arm in the dream translated into him swinging his left arm and hitting me in the face. His cast caught my eyeball and scratched it up pretty good.” Ash explained.

“When did this happen?”

“A few hours ago.” Ash answered.

“Why didn’t you say something? You could have called me. You have to see a doctor and now its too late to see your optometrist. We are gonna have to go to urgent care or the emergency room.” Ali grabbed Ash by the shoulders and moved her to a nearby chair, she wanted to get a better look and her wife was too tall.

“I didn’t want to bother you. It’s not like I was having a heart attack.” Ash justified.

“Baby, we probably could have made an appointment with Dr. Ross and been in and out in less than an hour. Now we have to spend the rest of the night in a waiting room.” Ali wasn’t upset with Ash, she just didn’t understand her reasoning. Ashlyn often hid things or minimized things to keep from bothering or worrying her. After almost 5 years of marriage she still hadn’t broken her of this bad habit.

“I’m sorry. It just didn’t seem that important. I can go tomorrow and then we won’t have to wait around tonight at the ER. It will be ok for a day.” Ash was trying her best to smooth things over but Ali wasn’t going for it.

“Baby, your eye is oozing! Where your eye should be white its bright red. We are not gonna let it go for any longer than we have too.” Ali watched her wife visibly cringe. It wasn’t the gross description of her eye that caused it, but the idea of having to wait around all night to be seen. Ashlyn really hated that.

“I’ll call my dad and see if he can come watch the kids.” Ali pulled out her cell and scrolled to her dad’s name.

“Don’t bother him. I can go by myself.” Ash said.

“Are you serious, Ashlyn? I’m assuming you can’t see too well from that eye. Am I right?” Ali pointed at Ashlyn’s very watery injured eye.

“Well....”

“Exactly! You’re not driving yourself anywhere.” Ali pushed ‘call’ and as the phone was ringing to connect she added, “and you’re not gonna give me any more complaints about taking care of it tonight, either!”

Ash rolled her eyes in protest but the pain this simple rebellious action caused convinced her that she really did need to be seen right away.

...

The couple had to settle for Urgent Care. Ashlyn hated Urgent Care. But she didn’t complain. It was her own fault for putting it off and not going earlier in the day when it first happened.

Plus her wife told her she wasn’t allowed to complain.

Ashlyn used her wife as a pillow and tried to take a nap against Ali’s shoulder, while Ali read a magazine. It wasn’t working. She just couldn’t get comfortable. She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. Ali tried to help by rubbing her back, but Ash seemed really restless.

“Baby, you need to relax.” Ali said as Ashlyn changed positions for the hundredth time in the last hour.

“I can’t. It’s hard not to touch it. It’s driving me crazy!” Ashlyn wasn’t lying. She had tears running down her left cheek like a sieve. Not only that but it was really painful and all she wanted to do was poke at it.

“Ashlyn, you need to focus on something else. Come here.” Ali pulled her in and wrapped her up in a hug. Ali pushed Ashlyn’s head down into her chest gently with her hand. She gave her head a few bonus kisses and then reminisced some of their favorite medical memories together to try to distract her wife.

“Do you remember when we were on our honeymoon and you got stung by that jellyfish?” Ali stroked Ashlyn’s arm as she spoke.

“Aw man, that sucker hurt!” Ash answered.

“Yup, and we ended up spending our third night of marriage at an ‘island doctor’s’ house waiting for you to get treated.”

“All that dude did was shake a burning tree branch at me and chant for the spirits to leave,” Ash added.

“You finally figured out that he was waiting for you to say it was better before he would stop...”

“Yeah, so I lied to get the heck out of there!” Ash finished.

“I should have known then that with you by my side, I would end up spending a lot of time in ERs and urgent cares.” Ali said. There was a very real reason Ali was such a worrier. Her wife’s frequent injuries pushed her over the edge.

Ali had already started laughing before she could start the next memory. “What about when you broke your nose trying to answer the phone?”

“Hey, that one’s not funny. That hurt!” Ashlyn did not find her pain as hilarious as her wife.

“Come on, baby. It was crazy comical. You were sound asleep. Heard the phone and slammed into the nightstand, face-first.” Ali could not stop herself from cracking up.

“That’s rude. You shouldn’t laugh at my pain. I almost bled to death.”

“Sure you did.” Ali indulged her wife’s dramatics for the moment.

She had noticed some of the people around them were giggling at her wife’s expense. She kinda felt bad. Not too bad, just a little bad. The stories she could tell about her wife’s crazy hijinks could fill a book. She really was something special.

Ashlyn had some stories of her own she could share about her wife. “What about that time you got food poisoning right after Algarve? You groaned in my ear all night long. Not to mention other things you did all night long, involving the bathroom...”

“Stop, stop!” Ali interrupted. "It’s making me sick just thinking about it. I will never look at another piece of sushi the same way again.” Ali was ready to throw up just talking about it.

The two women reminisced all night. Even though they really did have endless memories together, they both felt that their journeys together had just begun.

The distractions ended up working like a charm. The two were laughing and sharing stories for the remainder of their 4 hour wait and Ali only had to block her wife a few times from trying to mess with her eye.

...

Ashlyn ended up having a corneal abrasion. She needed antibiotic eye drops, sunglasses to protect her from bright lights, and she couldn’t wear her contacts for a week. Per doctors orders.

Per Ali’s orders, Ashlyn required lots of kisses and back rubs. Ashlyn agreed.

...

“Mama, you look pretty with yer glasses.” Sweet Sam was always complimenting how pretty his parents were.

“Thanks, Sam-Bam. I don’t like wearing them, cuz they get fogged up.” She answered.

“Fogged up.” Sam repeated slowly. “What’s that?”

“It’s like when you go into the bathroom after Mommy takes one of her long showers. You know how it’s hard to see in the mirror?” Ash asked.

“Yeah.” Sam nodded. He likes for Ash to lift him up so he can make pictures on the mirror with his finger.

“That’s what happens to my glasses sometimes. It makes it really hard to see.” Ash explained.

“You can just draw pictures on em.” Sam didn’t see his mom’s problem. To him it was like she had a new sketch pad that she would have with her all the time.

“Well, it’s not quite the same, bud. Besides, I want to make sure I can always see your handsome face!” Sam smiled wide at his mom’s compliment. His parents truly made him feel proud to just be himself. He didn’t need to change a thing. He was fully loved just how he was.

“Mama, does yer eye hurt bad?” Ashlyn didn’t want Sam to feel bad about the injury so she made Ali promise her she wouldn’t tell Sam it was his camo cast that caused it.

“It’s not too bad. It’s getting better every day.” Ashlyn patted the boy’s head before picking him up and finding the rest of the family.

...

Ashlyn's eye healed up perfectly. During her recovery her youngest son would play pirate ship with her and she would wear a patch and shape her index finger like a hook. She would tell dumb pirate jokes like: "What type of movies do pirates watch?...Rated ARRRR ones!"

They would both get a good laugh, while the rest of the family thought they were crazy.

Ashlyn's eye doctor recommended that she get correction eye surgery, so that she wouldn't need glasses or contacts anymore.

The morning after the outpatient surgery Ash woke up before her wife.  She was waiting to share this moment with her. She had actually been waiting for this moment for a long time.

Ali finally woke up.

"Ash, how's the vision? Can you see better?" Ali asked through a yawn

"Yeah, I can see perfectly." Ashlyn said and then turned towards Ali. "Oh my! What did I marry?!"

She acted like Ali was the most hideous looking thing she'd ever seen.

"Stop. You're so dumb." Ali smacked her wife's shoulder. "How long have you been planning that joke?"

"Ever since the doctor told me I should get the surgery." Ash laughed. "Don't worry, babe. Your personality makes up for what you lack in the looks department."

"You are asking for trouble, wife! You better be careful before I injure those perfect little eyes of your's!" Ali was not amused by her wife's sense of humor so early in the morning.

"Babe, you know I'm kidding. You're even more beautiful now that I can see you perfectly with my own eyes." Ash switched gears from joker to charmer.

"Yeah, yeah." Ali wasn't ready to change gears with her wife.

"Aww.." Ash pulled Ali on top of her and said, "let me take a closer look."

Ash kissed her wife's unamused face until Ali cracked a smile. "Ah there it is. You know, I think I can finally appreciate your perfect beauty. Now that my eyes see perfectly, I can see your perfection more clearly."

"That's better." Ali approved of her wife's new discovery.

"I love you." Ash said.

"I love you, too." Ali answered, before adding, "Now SEE your way out of here and make your perfect wife some breakfast."

Ashlyn couldn't help but laugh. She got up to make her wife some food and said, "You're the one who's dumb. How long have you been wanting say that to me?"

"Ever since the doctor told you to get the surgery." Ali laughed.

Ashlyn left the room and heard her wife say, "Two peas in a pod, babe! We're made for each other! Your perfect eyes matched with my perfect EVERYTHING ELSE!"

Chapter Text

“Hey Mom, can I talk to you for a minute?” Jacob seemed to have something pretty serious on his mind.

Ashlyn closed the lid to the grill that she was cleaning and gave her son her full attention. “Sure, dude. What’s up?”

“Um, well...I was kinda thinking about this date night thing with Mom this weekend and, umm...I was wondering if you could help me with that.” The boy was a mix between embarrassed and shy.

“Usually what we do is plan something that you kids would like. You don’t have to be nervous about it. It’s all about connecting with you guys. It’s for you. You don’t have to worry about a thing, son.” Ash was trying to put her son’s mind at ease and answer what she thought he was asking but she missed it completely.

“No, I mean, um...I want to plan something for her. But I need your help. I want to like treat her right and let her know I love her. But I don’t know how to do that.” He admitted.

“You want to spoil her.” Ashlyn smiled. “You are definitely my son.” She put her arm around his shoulder and said, “I’ll teach you everything you need to know.”

...

Four days later Ali was putting the finishing touches on her hair and make-up. “Baby, will you check on Jake and see if he’s about ready to go?”

Ali had no idea that her ‘date night’ plans were not happening. Ashlyn and Jake planned an entire night that they knew Ali would love.

“Oh sure, babe.” Ash stuck her head through the bathroom door. “You look beautiful tonight.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

Ashlyn left the room and yelled for Jake, but it was all for show. She knew he was no longer in the house. He was actually outside waiting for Ashlyn to text him.

“Als, he’s ready whenever you are.” Ash said trying to hide the smile on her face.

Ali was all set. She went straight to Jake’s room but found it empty. She looked everywhere she could think of and finally decided to ask Ashlyn.

“Ashlyn, where’s Jake?” Just as she was asking the doorbell rang.

“I don’t know. Will you get the door, I’m kinda busy with these two rugrats.” Ash was pretending to be focused on the younger children but was really waiting for Ali’s reaction.

Ali opened the door to find her oldest son all dressed up. He had on a black button down shirt, dark blue jeans, black suspenders and black classic Chuck Taylor Converse shoes. The top button on his shirt was unbuttoned and the knot of his white tie was left a little loose.

He handed Ali a huge bouquet of flowers and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He held out his hand to her and asked if she would join him for the evening. He led her to her car where Ashlyn had already put their destination in Ali’s GPS.

Jacob was a little nervous but he did everything perfect, according to Ashlyn. At least that’s what she told him when she had them pose for a quick picture. After the picture she whispered in his ear to make sure to remember to open her car door and any other door they come too.

...

Ali’s GPS brought them to a fancy French restaurant. Jake hurried out of the car so that he could open his mom’s door for her. He offered his hand to help her out and then gave his arm to her to hold on to for the rest of the way inside. He opened every door and stopped at the Maître D to announce their arrival. Ash set it all up for him. They had a reservation for the nicest table in the place.

Ali was shocked. Jacob could tell that she felt special already, even before their dinner started. He knew he owed Ashlyn a big hug when he got home.

When the waiter came, Jacob tried to read something in French that was written on a piece of paper he had folded up neatly in his wallet. He showed the waiter and the waiter came back with a glass of Ali’s favorite white wine.

“Are you kidding me, right now?” Ali reached for Jake’s hand on the table. “Jacob, you are perfect.” Ali gushed.

“Well, not really. Mom helped me out a lot.” Jacob didn’t want to mislead his mother.

Obviously Ali knew this was all Ashlyn’s doing but the simple fact that Jacob would want to participate in such an extravagant display meant the world to her.

“I’m sure you deserve some of the credit, sweetheart.” Ali said. “What else did your Mom help you with?” Ali was curious about what all the two partners in crime could be up too.

“Um...” Jacob put his head down and his cheeks got flushed. “She said that I needed to treat you with respect and go out of my way to give you what you deserve. She said that on a scale from 1-10 you’re a 100 and that I should try to find someone like you. She said if I find someone like you, I will find a happy life.”

He continued. “Uh, she told me that the secret to getting a ‘100’ is to treat all women like they’re 100’s.”

“Did she give you any tips on how to do that?” Ali asked. She really wanted a sneak peak into the mind of her wife.

Jacob opened up his wallet again and pulled out the paper. Ali smiled as she realized he had taken notes on what his Mom had told him and not just on what to order.

“She said that I need to be kind and gentle, but strong and confident too.” He showed Ali where it said that on the paper. “And that sometimes it might be hard to do, but you should swallow your pride and be willing to say you're sorry.”

Ali couldn’t hide her smile. She felt like the boy in front of her had grown in the few months they were together. He was no longer a boy, he was becoming a man. She could not believe how easy it was to love him.

Ashlyn was right that first night they discussed whether they should adopt him or not. She said that she could tell that he had been through a lot but that his heart wasn’t calloused. He didn’t let his difficult beginnings harden his heart and close him off to the possibility of good things. She saw the evidence of that sitting in front of her. This young man was open to love and wanted to show his love for her, as well. He actually sought out her wife, took notes, and applied what he learned. Ali felt she had learned more about love from him than he had from Ashlyn. Just the fact alone that he was trying to grow in this area was a lesson in itself.

They enjoyed a delicious meal and when it came time to pay he took the bill from his mom. He pulled out his wallet one more time, put Ashlyn’s debit card in the receipt holder, and handed it to the waiter. Ashlyn told him how to handle everything, including the tip. He wrote in a generous tip and signed the receipt. He was nervous he might get caught using someone else’s card. He hoped his mom’s instructions would get him home without being arrested.

Jacob stood up and pulled Ali’s chair out as she went to stand. The two were gathering their left overs that they were planning to share with their family when Ali was tapped on the shoulder by an intoxicated man.

“Alexandra Krieger!” The man pulled her into a hug and left both Ali and Jacob feeling uncomfortable. “So, tell me how long has it been? At least 10 years. Am I right?” The man slurred.

“More than that, Jeremy.” Ali answered. She turned toward Jake and put an arm around his shoulders. She could tell he was nervous about this man’s presence. Ali wanted to be friendly but she also wanted to protect Jacob, first and foremost.

“Jacob, this is Jeremy. I went to high school with him when I was your age. Jeremy, this is my son, Jacob.” She wanted to do a quick introduction and then get the heck out of there.

“You forgot to tell him the best part.” He turned his attention to Jake and said, “We dated back then. We were high school sweethearts. She was the prettiest girl in the whole school. Super hot. By the looks of it I would say she’s still the prettiest girl around.” Jeremy put his hand on Ali’s waist and pulled her towards him.

Jacob didn’t know what to do. He hated this man. He hated the fact that he would even talk about his mom like she was just another hot girl, when she was so much more. He especially hated that he was touching her.

Jacob put his arm around his mother and pulled her away from Jeremy. He stepped in between the two ready to defend her to the death, if necessary.

Ali wanted to keep everyone calm, especially her son, so she told Jeremy it was nice seeing him again and told him they had to leave.

“Come on. Have another drink. I don’t believe this kid can possibly be your son. If he’s your son, then I’m his father and that can’t be. I mean we only did it a couple of times.”

The man was drunk. Drunk or not, he just disrespected Ali in front of her son.

Ali slapped him.

This put Jacob on high alert. He didn’t know what to do but he knew he wasn’t gonna let this man hurt Ali. He didn’t realize that Ali was more than capable of taking care of herself. When Jacob stepped forward to block whatever was coming he felt Ali’s hand on his shoulder.

“It’s ok, Jake. I’ve got this.” Ali walked right up to Jeremy’s face and said, “Listen, Jeremy, my son and I were in the middle of having a great time together. He is twice the man that you will ever be. We are now leaving to join the rest of our family. You weren’t worth my time in high school and you definitely aren’t worth my time now. Next time if you decide to learn some manners, then maybe we can talk. Until then I am going to be living happily without you, alongside my wife, who has satisfied me in ways you could never imagine. Grow up!”



Ali took Jacob’s hand and led him out of the restaurant, leaving her stunned stupid ex-boyfriend behind.

...

When the two pulled into the driveway Ali reached over the center console and held Jacob’s hand.

“Jacob, I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful evening. It was a dream come true. I felt so loved and special. You are a wonderful son, and I’m so thankful for you. I love you so much.” She gave him a kiss on the cheek and then pulled away.

“There’s one more thing. Your mom and you came up with a wonderful date night for us. You did everything perfectly. That man that I went to school with, did everything wrong. Not just tonight, either. He has always been a jerk to me and he pressured me to do things I didn’t want to do. I want you to think about that. Think about who I ended up with. That jerk...Gosh, I’d be glad if I never saw him again. But your mom...well, you know I can’t live without her.”

Jacob nodded in understanding. He knew what his mom was saying. He knew that good things required work and doing the hard things for the sake of others. He knew that he didn’t want to end up like the guy that took advantage of girls and disrespected them. He wanted to be the one that treated every girl like they were out of his league. He wanted to be the one that ended up with the perfect ‘100.’

Jacob hurried to open one last door for his mother. The two happily entered the house. Ali had her arm linked with Jacob’s as they walked in and found Ashlyn, aka the food disposal. She started picking at their left overs immediately.

“How was your evening, guys?” Ash asked with a mouth full of food.

“AMAZING!” Ali said excitedly.

Ash looked at Jake for his answer, as well. She knew he had planned and worked hard for this night.

“It was really good. Thanks.” He gave Ash a quick hug.

“It’s all you, man!” Ash was determined to give him all the credit.

The boy pulled out his wallet immediately and handed Ashlyn her debit card back.

“You’re supposed to give this to me later, son.” She whispered.

“Mom knew it was you who paid for it.” He answered quietly.

Ashlyn knew Ali was well aware of where the money came from to pay the bill, but she still wanted Jacob to feel like this was his moment to shine.

“It doesn’t matter who paid. You both deserve a lot of credit. Thank you so much.” Ali surrounded both of them in her arms and gave them a double hug sandwich.

“Are you gonna tell her about that guy?” Jacob asked Ali.

The two women had learned pretty fast that Jake wanted to make sure nothing came between them. He wanted to protect them both, but also the family as a whole. In this situation he felt that keeping the incident with Jeremy a secret might lead to bigger trouble in the future.

“What guy?” Ash asked.

“My ex from high school. He was drunk. He said some dumb stuff. I ended up slapping him.”

“WHAT? Ali!” Ashlyn was not a fan of Ali being physical with someone, especially when she wasn’t around. She hates violence of any kind. But hates it even more when it involves her wife and is in front of her children.

“Ashlyn, it wasn’t like what you’re thinking. He got a little handsy. Jake and I were uncomfortable.” She looked at Jacob and he nodded to confirm her story. “And he was being so disrespectful towards me and our family. I knew he wasn’t a violent person. We were safe. I promise.”

“We’ll talk about this later. I’m just glad you’re ok.”

Ali stepped into Ashlyn and gave her a kiss on the side of her jaw.

“Um, I’m gonna go to bed.” Jacob excused himself.

“Smart move, son.” Ashlyn yelled over her shoulder towards her retreating son.

...

The women spent a few minutes making out in the kitchen. Afterward they both went to Jake’s room to say good night.

“Jacob, I just wanted to thank you for one of the best dates of my life. I love you. You are so special to me.” She gave him a hug and a kiss.

Ash waited for Ali to leave and then gave her son a pat on the back. “You really made her happy. And nothing makes me more happy than the people I love being happy.” She smiled.

“You really helped me a lot, Mom. It might sound dumb, but I feel more confident and like maybe I have something more to offer. I’m glad I made Mom happy, because I love her...but it made me happy too.”

“Well, then I’m double happy tonight. I love you, son.” Ash hugged him, kissed him, and then topped it off with a high five for good measure.

...

Back in the master bedroom Ali was waiting for her wife in what Ashlyn calls her favorite outfit that she wears. Ash opened the door to find her wife wearing only a come-hither look and a devilish grin. Ali was ready to show her wife why it pays off to pursue a ‘100.’

That night Ali gave her all to her wife. There wasn’t an inch of Ashlyn’s skin that Ali didn’t taste. She went slow and steady. Her wife experienced a whole new level of pleasure.

...

The next morning, Ashlyn finished off the rest of the left overs for breakfast, and then ate the french toast and bacon Ali made for the rest of the family. When Ali gave her a hard time about it, she told her it was all her fault. The previous night’s activities wore her out and burned a lot of calories. She needed to refuel.

Ali couldn’t deny what she said was true. It was definitely a night for the record books.

Chapter Text

"Mama, look!" Sam was proud of himself and wanted his Mama's approval.

What Ashlyn saw by the oak tree in her backyard made her speechless. All she was capable of doing was laughing hysterically. Ali looked up from the book she was reading to Lexi and her eyes went wide with shock. She covered her daughter's eyes and yelled at Ashlyn.

"Ashlyn, stop laughing and cover him up!"

Ashlyn hurried toward her naked son who was using their tree as a urinal. Both he and Monster felt the need to mark their territory. To the boy it made perfect sense, but based on Ali's reaction you would think it was the worst thing in the world.

Ashlyn quickly pulled up his Superman underwear and shorts over his cute little butt. She still was unable to control her laughter. The boy joined in with her and the two were an unstoppable force of giggles.

"Mama, I can make pictures." Sam was proud of the designs that were left on the side of the tree.

Ashlyn could not handle her youngest boy's cuteness. He pulled the front of his pants down, wanting to show her what he meant.

"No, no, son. You shouldn't pee in the yard. Mommy's gonna flip." She covered up the exposed boy and carried him to her wife. They both gave Ali a kiss offering of penance before going back to play with Monster.

"He is crazy." Jacob was trying to smooth over Ali's state of horror.

"You didn't do that when you were his age, did you?" Ali asked.

"I can't really remember that far back, but up until recently I peed outside all the time." He said this like it was no big deal. It was a big deal though, because up until recently he didn't have a home. He peed outside because he usually slept outside.

Ali decided maybe she wouldn't give Sam too hard of a time about relieving himself in their back yard. There were more important things in life to worry about. She would definitely address it, though, because it could end up getting him in trouble if he did it at the wrong time and place. But she would make sure to say an extra prayer of thanks that she had all of her kids under one roof and could protect them from having to face this world alone.

Jacob interrupted Ali out of her thoughts and said, "But sometimes a boys just gotta pee outside in the open, ya know?"

No. No, Ali didn't know. "I'm just gonna have to take your word on that. It makes no sense to me at all."

...

"Babe, where did you go last night?" Ashlyn let out a yawn.

"Lex had a bad dream. I'm surprised she didn't wake you up when she came in our room. She was crying." Ali answered.

"Why didn't you come back?" Ash asked.

"She begged me to stay with her."

"I wish you would've just brought her to our bed. I had the worst night of sleep without you." Ashlyn was reaching behind her to try and work out some of the knots in her back.

"I'm sorry, I know you're always restless when I'm not there." Ali said and moved Ashlyn's hand so that she could properly massage her back. "It was just a difficult night for her. I didn't know if moving her would have caused her to freak out."

"It's ok." Ashlyn bent down at the waist and stretched out her back, while her wife rubbed it.

"Does that feel better?"

"Yeah, I guess." Ashlyn was still sore, but Ali's genuine concern and desire to make her feel better really did make a difference.

...

Ashlyn had both of her boys in a headlock on the living room floor. She knew she couldn't keep Jacob down for long. She didn't want to lose, but her against a wiggly 3 year old and a strong 14 year old wasn't going well for her.

She tapped on the carpet. "Lex, tap me out."

Lexi looked at her like she was from another planet.

"Alex, tag team." Ali looked at her like she was getting exactly what she deserved. "Come on! Someone help me."

"I help you, Mama." Sam was ready for the job, even though he was supposed to be the one trying to beat her. Ashlyn loosened her grip on him and he jumped up and tackled his big brother.

Jake couldn't believe that his partner had betrayed him. "You're supposed to be helping me, man!"

Sam lifted his head up from his brother's chest and said, "I help you, Jakes." He stood up and barreled into Ashlyn's stomach. Of course Monster needed to get involved too and he started barking at the whole group.

Ali was done. The noise level and level of potential injury had gotten too high. "OOOH-KAY guys, its time for all you wrestlers to take a break." Ali lifted Sam off of her wife and sat him down on the couch.

"Mommy, I am strong!" Sam flexed his muscles and growled.

"Yes, baby. You are super strong!" Ali gave each of his biceps a squeeze and puckered her lips. Sam leaned in and he gave her a quick peck.

Ashlyn was still laying down on the floor. She wasn't ready to get up yet. Her back was still bothering her a little bit and lying down flat on the floor made it feel better.

Unfortunately her stretching and resting time was cut short by her cell phone. Ali was already up so she got it for her.

"I don't recognize this number, Ash." Ali said and handed the phone to her wife.

Ash looked at it. She didn't recognize it either. "If I don't know you, I don't answer." Ashlyn silenced the ring and put it in her pocket.

"Baby, you can't do that? What if it's important? Especially as a parent....you have to answer your phone." Ali was right but Ash still didn't want to answer.

"If it's important they will leave a message." Ash looked at her phone and there was no message. "See? Not important."

Just as Ashlyn was ready to proclaim her tiny argument victory over her wife, the phone rang again.

"Or they'll call back." Ali gave her a look that said 'I told you so.'

Ash let out an exasperated sigh and answered her phone.

Ali watched her wife answer the phone. She watched her get up and walk out of the room with a serious look on her face. Ali knew something was up.

...

"Ok, I packed your medication, your toiletries, iPad, and all your chargers. I put your anxiety medicine in the front pocket, in case you need it. I was able to fit 2 dressy outfits in your carry-on, just in case. Let's see, what else?" Ali was now in super wife mode.

Ashlyn was sitting on their bed bouncing her right leg up and down and chewing on her thumbnail. Once Ali had all of Ash's stuff ready to go she sat down next to her wife.

"Ashlyn, I wish you would let me go with you." Ali reached for her wife's hand.

"It's ok. It wouldn't be good to leave the kids." Ash answered.

"My mom is going to meet you at the airport and she has the guest room all ready for you. You can use her car while you're there. She said she doesn't need it."

Ashlyn's phone call was from the District Attorney's office from a city in Florida. She was summoned to testify against her father on behalf of the state. Thankfully the courthouse she needed to go to was close to where Ali's mom and step-dad lived. Ali felt much better knowing at least someone would be looking out for her wife.

...

Ashlyn held tight to Samuel while they waited for Ali's dad to get there. Ali had Ashlyn well fed and packed up. They were going to the airport as soon as the children's grandpa got there to watch the kids.

"Mom, can I talk to you for a minute?" Jacob tapped Ali's shoulder.

Ali gave Ash a kiss on the side of her head and left the room with Jake.

"What's up?" Ali asked.

"I want to go with Mom. I don't think she should go alone. I can help."

"Sweetheart, I know you would definitely be a big help, but your Mom would rather go alone. She even refused my help."

"I just don't think it's right for her to be alone." Jacob wanted to take care of his mom.

"I know. I hate thinking about her going by herself too, but she doesn't want any of us around her father. He's not a nice person and he tries to use people close to her to control her. That's why she turned him in in the first place, because he threatened me and your brother and sister." Ali said sadly and squeezed Jake's shoulder.

"It just isn't right. She shouldn't be alone." Jake's face was filled with sadness. He refused to look up at Ali. He felt terrible for his mother's situation. He knew how it felt to not be wanted or loved by someone who is supposed to be your biggest support. His heart couldn't handle knowing that Ashlyn would be going through that alone.

Ali let out a short breath. Took a deep breath in and said, "She will probably only be gone for maybe 2 days. I hate that I can't go with her, but part of supporting people and being strong for them is letting them process through hard things the way that's good for them. If you were with her, she would worry about you the whole time. You know her, she would want to protect you. You would want to protect her and you would both be miserable. Sometimes she needs space. I can tell you from experience that giving it to her is often really hard for me, but it's what she needs so I let her have it. Love does what's best for the other person, right?"

"Yeah." Jake agreed reluctantly.

"Come on, we don't have much more time with her until Grandpa gets here. Let's let her know how much we love her." Ali said and took Jacob's hand and went to join the rest of the family.

...

Ali played it cool while the kids were around but she completely broke down at the airport. Ashlyn had to drive and park Ali's car because there was no way Ali would be fit to drive anytime soon. Ash put an arm around Ali's shoulders and the two walked together to the ticket counter and then Ali went as far as she could before Ash had to go through security.

"I should have bought a ticket. Then I could at least sit with you until your plane leaves." Ali said.

"That's crazy. You want to spend hundreds of dollars just so we can prolong the inevitable?" Ash let out an almost sad sounding laugh. She was trying to lighten the mood but she hated being separated from Ali just as much.

"Yes! I would spend more than that!"

"You're crazy." Ashlyn put her hands around Ali's waist and pulled her close. "I love you. Thanks for everything. And try not to worry. It will probably be some quick thing and then I'll go surfing, or something."

"You really should go surfing, if you get the chance. But then come home to me as soon as you can." Ali gave her wife a kiss and put her head on her shoulder. Ashlyn held her tight, trying to take in all the strength from her that she could. Ashlyn knew that she would need it.

"Alright babe, it's time. I love you so much! Tell the kids I said good-bye and that I love them, too."

"You already told them that when we left the house, but I will tell them again." Ali reassured her.

"Thank you."Ash was starting to feel reality sink in and she needed to hold it together so she gave Ali one more hug and kiss and told her not to rush but to wait in the car until she felt ok to drive.

Ali sobbed into her steering wheel for 15 minutes before she headed home.

...

Ali's Mom was just an older version of Ali. She took good care of Ashlyn. She made sure she ate and checked on her if she seemed down. She did her best. But it wasn't the same.

Ashlyn never imagined that her Grandmother would be there. When she saw her she gave her a hug and a sad smile. She texted Ali and told her she was feeling better already just knowing that her Grandma would be there with her.

Once the proceedings started her positive outlook changed. Her Grandmother was there to DEFEND her father. Ashlyn was there to testify AGAINST him. It seemed that the two women were on opposing sides.

"Ali, why would she do this?" Ashlyn was half crying, half screaming.

"Baby, you need to calm down. Maybe you need to take some of your medicine."

"She came here to stick up for that bastard. I hate her!"

"Ashlyn, you do not hate her. You're angry. You really need to calm down. Please just take some breaths." Ali was worried her wife was going to have an anxiety attack.

"She's the one who told me she was proud of me for standing up to him and calling the police, and now she's here and she's probably gonna tell the judge I don't know what I'm talking about or that I deserved whatever he did to me." Ashlyn wasn't being rational.

"Ashlyn, please! You need to stop getting yourself all worked up. Your Grandma would never say those things. She is probably trying to help him because he is her son. You know what it's like to be a parent. You want to be there for your children and protect them."

"Yeah well, I thought that she would want to do that for me too." Ash said sadly. "I gotta go."

Before Ali could object, her side of the conversation was met with dead air. Ashlyn had hung up on her.

Ali had decided right then and there that she was going to purchase the first ticket she could that would get her to her wife. She had to let the Spirit know that she would miss at least one day of practice, but hopefully she would be back for the game that weekend. She knew all along that Ashlyn needed her. She should have put her foot down. But she wanted to let Ash have her way. Even Jacob knew better. Why didn't she listen to her gut?

...

Ali took a red eye flight and then a taxi but she made it to her Mom's house before breakfast. Her Mom knew she was coming and had a small breakfast waiting for her. Ali didn't want to be rude but she declined and went right away to her sleeping wife.

Ali could tell that Ashlyn was restless, even in her sleep. She didn't want to startle her. She didn't even want to wake her. She just wanted to hold her. She kicked off her shoes, pulled back the covers and nuzzled up behind her wife. She hugged her securely from behind. It seemed like her tight back muscles were loosening up. She may have been imagining it, but it felt like Ashlyn relaxed at her touch.

She knew she had made the right decision.

...

Today was the day that Ashlyn would be called on the stand. She was nervous, but now she had the option of meeting Ali's beautiful eyes whenever she got scared. Ali's golden brown eyes always provided a calm sanctuary for Ash to run to.

Ash took a few deep breaths and gave her testimony. Her Father's attorney only had a few questions for her. His objective was to prove that Ashlyn didn't really know what her father was up to so she wasn't a credible witness. He didn't say anything against Ashlyn's character or anything like that. He just wanted her testimony thrown out.

The DA used her as a way to get the jury's sympathy to convict her Father, a man that the DA described as an abusive dead beat father. Ashlyn didn't say all of that. But when she was asked questions she did answer honestly.

The defense attorney used Ashlyn's grandmother to try to humanize her father. It was all a manipulative game, Ashlyn thought. She felt like she was being put through hell so that the two sides could go back and forth and try to convince the jurors of whatever angle they were selling. She hated it.

Ashlyn just wanted to go home.

...

After Ashlyn was done giving her testimony she left with her wife. She knew there was a small possibility that she might be called back to testify again, but she figured she was willing to risk the few hundred dollars it would cost for another plane ticket. She was ready to take Ali home to their children.

She left without saying goodbye to her Grandmother. Ali knew her wife would regret it. But what could she do? She asked her to change her mind, but Ashlyn just wanted to leave it all behind.

...

Three days had passed and Ashlyn's Grandma had called her every day, sometimes more than once. Every time Ashlyn saw her Grandmother's number she ignored it. She wasn't ready to talk to her. Ali finally answered for her.

They talked for a short amount of time, but long enough for Ali to get the gist of why Ashlyn's Grandma stood up for her son. It never had anything to do with Ash. She didn't even know she was summoned to appear until she saw her there. Ali promised that she would try to get Ashlyn to hear her side of the story, but made no promises about how she would take it.

...

"Alex, it's bullshit! All of it. He deserves to rot in hell for what he's done. I don't care what anyone says. If you are going to stand up for a man who did what he did to me and my brother when we were little kids, then there is no place in my life for you!" Ashlyn was furious and Ali was glad the kids weren't home.

Ashlyn found a picture of her Grandma hanging on the wall and punched it. She picked up the broken pieces of the frame and glass and threw it in the trash.

"Ashlyn, please stop. I know you're angry and you have every right to be, but you're scaring me. I just need you to calm down."

Ashlyn did her best to do what Ali asked. She tried to focus on her breathing. She took her anti-anxiety medicine. She tried to focus on something else but all she could think about was her Grandmother's betrayal.

Once Ash had calmed down enough to listen, Ali had her sit at the kitchen table. She played a message on her phone that Ash's Grandmother recorded specifically for Ashlyn.

Ali pushed play and put it on speaker. Ash's Grandmother's voice and heart could be heard clearly.

"Ashlyn, my sweet angel. I would never try to hurt you on purpose. I didn't know you were going to be there. A lawyer called me and asked if I would testify that your father had a longtime problem with drug addiction. They did tell me that it might help him get less time in prison, but it was the truth. I only went there to tell the truth. I am sorry, my sweet girl, for how it must have seemed. I would never have agreed to it if I thought you would be upset by it. Please forgive me. I love you and your brother more than anyone else on this earth. I hope you know that."

Ashlyn cleared her throat and looked at the hand she used to punch her grandmother's picture."Maybe I shouldn't have done that." She said still staring at her red knuckles.

"Babe, it's ok. We can get another picture." Ali tried to comfort her.

"Yeah, I meant maybe I shouldn't have been so mean to her."

"She will forgive you before you even ask."

"Probably." Ashlyn wiped at her runny nose with the top of her battered hand. "I messed up. Why do I do that?"

"You're angry at your Dad, and for good reason. Some of it just spilled out a little."

"A little?" Ashlyn questioned and then held up her hand to show Ali that her anger actually 'spilled out' a lot.

"I suck!" Ash continued.

"That's not true. You're wonderful."

"It's true! Why do I let him control me? Even when he's not trying. My life is great. I'm truly happy. I have a perfect wife and awesome kids. I get to do what I love. Why do I give him control over my happiness? I suck!"

"You don't suck! You just had a bad day...a couple bad days." Ali pulled her wife toward her and put their foreheads together. "Now, your perfect wife thinks you should call Grandma and let her know what you thought of her message. I bet she will be really glad to hear from you."

Ashlyn grabbed her phone and called the woman who fought to raise her. She apologized for her behavior and thanked her for not giving up on her, even though she felt like she deserved it.

Her Grandmother answered...

"My sweet girl, I will always forgive you. I will always fight for you. Because that's what love does."

Chapter Text

"Mama, why is that mommy so mean to that boy?" Lexi laced her fingers with Ashlyn's and pointed to a woman and her son in the aisle next to them.

The family made a quick stop at a pharmacy to pick up an allergy prescription for Jacob. They were roaming through the aisles waiting for it to be filled when Ash and Lexi came across a very angry mother and a boy about Lexi's age.

Both the boy and his mom were disrespectful and unkind to one another. Ashlyn would describe the women as abusive. She didn't blame the boy for his misbehavior because he obviously learned it from his mother. She considered saying something but with Lexi by her side she decided against it.

"It's sad, Lex." Ashlyn answered. "But that's how some people treat each other."

Ashlyn decided to avoid them and go to the other side of the store.

...

Jacob and Samuel were throwing squishy little balls at each other in the toy aisle. Sam never realized how much fun a big brother could be until Jake came into their lives. Ever since his arrival the two boys have been the kings of mischief.

...

Ali was by herself waiting in line for Jake's medicine. The policy at the pharmacy was that if you left your spot in line your order gets skipped. So Ali decided to take one for the team and suffer the long line alone, while her family browsed the store.

...

The family had looked at just about everything in the small store. Some things they stopped and perused twice. They especially spent a lot of time in the candy and toy aisles. They were just about to look at the magazines again when Ashlyn heard the familiar voice of her wife.

"Shame on you for speaking to your child that way!" Ashlyn knew exactly who her wife was talking to.

Ashlyn quickly located her boys and told Jake to watch his younger siblings. She followed the arguing voices and found Ali still waiting in line speaking to the angry women whom Lexi had asked about earlier. The woman and her son were in the back of the line and Ali was towards the front.

Ashlyn shook her head. Of course Ali wouldn't be able to stand by and let someone treat a child unkindly.

The woman was yelling at Ali, telling her to mind her own business. Ashlyn slid beside her wife and put a hand around her waist. Ali can take care of herself, but it doesn't hurt to have a little back up.

The woman immediately changed her tone when she saw Ashlyn staring back at her. She didn't say a word, but it was enough to shut the woman up. Ali decided to drop it and turned around to face the front of the line. She leaned into Ashlyn and dipped her head on her shoulder.

"That woman was being awful to her son. I couldn't take it anymore." Ali explained.

"Lex and I overheard her earlier. We just avoided them. I wanted to say something but didn't want to upset Lex."

"Parents like that are the worst!" Ali paid for Jake's medicine and held onto Ashlyn's hand as they walked away. She didn't acknowledge the unkind mother. She just walked right past her.

...

Ali was bothered about the woman from the pharmacy and her child all day. She felt like there was more that could have been done but she honestly didn't know what that was.

"Ashlyn, you said you heard that lady treat her son poorly at the pharmacy, right?" Ali asked.

"Where did that come from?" Ash thought that was a little random, considering the situation happened hours ago.

"I don't know. I've been thinking about it ever since. I feel like I wish we could have done more. Why didn't you say anything? It's not like you're shy?" Ali wasn't reprimanding her wife, she was just wondering why she chose not to say anything.

"I guess I figured it might turn into something that would upset Lex. And honestly, it probably would have made things worse for the kid. I doubt that woman would be open to change." Ashlyn honestly answered.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Ali let out a discouraged sigh.

"What's wrong, babe?"

"I just feel like I wish there was more we could do. Especially concerning our kids, ya know? Like I want them to know why it's important to choose to be kind and encouraging. I don't like all this mean stuff. You know that little boy from today will probably end up being a jerk when he grows up unless someone steps into his life and shows him a better way. What can we do to show our kids a better way?"

...

The women had discussed exactly what they would do to show their children a better way. They decided that they would first, be an example of kindness through their speech and actions and second, they would create opportunities for their family to put into practice what they've been preaching.

...

Two days later the family had a special family day planned that would hopefully help teach them all a valuable lesson about making a difference and caring for one another.

Ashlyn started the day with a pep talk. "Ok guys, if you could be a super hero, what power would you want to have?"

"Fly!" Sam said an held out his arms and hurled himself into Ashlyn.

"Be invisible. Cuz then I could sneak up on people." Lexi answered.

Jake thought this game was dumb but answered anyway, "Be super strong, I guess."

"Strong like me!" Sam said and flexed for his brother.

Ashlyn answered them, "Alright, those are all pretty good powers, I suppose. But what if I told you that everyone has at least one super power always available to them?"

Jacob rolled his eyes and Sam got really quite. Samuel always thought of himself as a superhero so he took all this talk very seriously.

"We all have the super power of kindness within us." Ashlyn whispered, making it sound extra top secret and important.

Ali decided to add her thoughts before they shared in more detail what the day had in store for them.

"Remember that mean lady who kept saying those things that hurt her son's feelings when we were at the pharmacy the other day?" She asked.

All the kids nodded. "Just like that woman we have chances everyday to either be kind or unkind." She looked at Sam and added "the word 'kind' means to be nice and 'unkind' means to be mean to someone."

Sammy let out an "Ohhh" of understanding.

Ali gave the floor back to her wife.

"We have opportunities every day to do something that can really help someone. But most of the time we don't notice them. Today we're gonna think up some kind things we can do and then we're gonna do them. It's that easy." Ash explained.

"So, my very handsome and beautiful superheroes, let's start with some people you want to show kindness too." Ali added and then took out a pen and paper to make a list.

"I'm gonna put Grandpa on here." Ali said. "How about you, babe?"

Ashlyn smiled, "Umm how about our team? Yeah, let's put them on there."

"Ok. How about you, Jake? Who do you want to be kind to?" Ali asked.

"I don't know. I can't think of anyone, right now."

"We'll skip you and come back." Ash said.

Ali asked Lexi and she answered, "My teacher at daycare."

"That's a really good one, Lex!" Ali cheered. Samuel saw how excited his Mommy got and wanted to get some of those cheers for himself.

"Mommy, I know someone!" He said.

"Who's that, baby?"

"Monster!" He proclaimed. Lex and Jake laughed at him but both his parents thought it was a great idea.

"Alright, I'm gonna write Monster's name down. It's always important to be kind to animals. Good job, Sammy."

Ashlyn turned to Jacob, "It's all you now, dude."

"Um, well...how about the kids at the shelter? I stayed there a few nights and it was kinda scary. Maybe we could do something to show them someone cares about them. I don't know what, though." Jacob took a breath and slowly let it out. He figured it was a stupid idea.

His mothers didn't cheer. They both looked at him with pride. He understands. He's using his experiences in life to find a way to help those in a similar situation. He was at the beginning of turning his tragedy into triumph.

"That's a great idea, son. I'm proud of you. We absolutely should and will do that." Ashlyn finally spoke up.

Phase 1 of the day complete.

...

Phase 2

The family made cupcakes for the Spirit teammates and Lex's teacher. Ali bought her dad a certificate to get his car washed and detailed. The kids drew pictures, wrote letters and went shopping for little gifts that they could give to the kids at the homeless shelter. Jacob went from disinterest to passionate. He found something he cared about and he set the pace for the rest of the family.

"Mom, we can get some art stuff for the kids. Can we get these coloring books and markers?" Jake asked.

"Go for it, dude." Ashlyn said and then whispered to her wife, "This is gonna cost us a fortune, but it's worth every penny."

"Yup." Ali answered and then gave her wife a kiss on the cheek.

"Mama, that lady dropped her purse and I helped her pick it up." Lexi was proud of her heroic gesture.

"Good job, Lex. Did you make her smile?"

"Yeah, she was really glad." Lex smiled.

The family seemed to have made a lot of progress and the two women were beyond proud of them.

...

Phase 3

The third and final phase of their day was to put into action their acts of kindness. Ali and Ash had discussed beforehand that they weren't only going to fulfill the kind acts they had planned but also look for spontaneous ways to be kind, as well.

They really wanted their kids to see that there are opportunities all around them to do something great. Even if it's just one person, kindness matters and it's truly important.

The family dropped off the items at the shelter and Jacob hugged both his moms, with tears welling up in his eyes.

"Thanks." He said. Helping others made him feel like he really could make a difference after all.

On their way home they stopped at a Chinese restaurant to pick up dinner. Ali noticed the woman taking their order seemed overwhelmed. She met the woman's eyes with a smile.

"You're doing a great job. It seems really busy today." She said.

The woman looked at her like she was probably the first person to actually acknowledge her that day. Ali had no way of knowing, but she was the only order the cashier took during her shift that showed her any kind of interest. Ali watched the woman change from overwhelmed and unhappy to feeling grateful and appreciated.

She shared her experience with her family to show them how even a smile and a kind word can be heroic these days.

Samuel grabbed Lexi's hand and told her he would help her across the street. In 3 year old talk that means he would protect her while they walked from the restaurant to their car.

Ash and Ali saw their kids do these little things that showed they really were getting it. Kindness was going to be an official Krieger-Harris family mission from now on.

Mission Accomplished.

...

Ashlyn and Ali tucked in the youngest kids and said good night to the oldest. They had been asleep for almost an hour when Ashlyn felt a tiny three year old finger tapping on her forehead.

"Mama, we forgot Monster!" Sam sounded heart broken.

"Huh?" Ash answered.

"To be kind to Monster!" He answered.

"Ok." Ash closed her eyes.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

"What, Sam-Bam?!" Ash answered her son's tapping, still half asleep.

"We didn't get Monster a present." He was really upset that his best friend was forgotten.

Ali rolled over and put a hand on Sam's back.

"Sammy, I bought him a big bone to chew on. We will give it to him in the morning, ok?" Thank God Ali remembered.

"Ok, Mommy."

Sam stepped on Ashlyn's stomach, climbed off the bed, and went to his room a happy boy, giggling with excitement. He was looking forward to seeing how happy Monster was going to be in the morning.

Ashlyn grabbed her gut and rolled into her wife. "I love you for remembering about that dang dog."

Ali pulled her close and said, "I love you for being the one our son jumps on when he visits us in the middle of the night."

They both shared a laugh and a smile. What better way to end a perfect day than in the arms of the one you love.

Chapter Text

"Toby, come slide!" Samuel, Lexi, and Ashlyn were playing in the back yard on a slip-n-slide Ash made out of trash bags, soap and water.

Tobin and Alex were visiting the family before the Spirit vs Thorns game that evening.

Ali was trying to get all the current gossip from the women but Sam was getting impatient. He had a serious crush on Tobin and his Mommy was keeping her from giving him attention.

The boy frustratingly stomped up to his Mommy and used both hands to push Ali in the butt.

"Mommy, stop talking. I want Toby." He was not a happy camper.

Tobin couldn't help but laugh. Alex giggled, as well. She thought Sam's crush was cute, even though it often meant he completely ignored her.

Ali tried hard not to laugh. They didn't want to encourage this kind of behavior, even though they thought it was cute. The three women didn't seem to mind the boy's mini tantrum.

Ashlyn, on the other hand, was not amused. She walked up behind Samuel and picked him up and carried him straight to the time-out chair.

"Sam, you do not push Mommy! You do not talk to her like that, either." Ashlyn didn't take disrespecting her wife lightly.

"But Mama, I want Toby to play!" Sam whined.

"She will play with you, but you need to be patient. There is never an excuse for you to hit Mommy!"

"Woah, Ash is strict." Tobin whispered to Alex and Ali.

"Only about certain things." Ali explained.

Ashlyn knelt down in front of her son and laid down the law. "You're gonna sit here in time-out until I come get you. And then you're going to tell Mommy you're sorry."

The little boy had tears in his eyes and shook his head yes, signaling that he understood. She gave him a hug and kiss and told him that she loved him.

The time-out routine always included Ashlyn or Ali telling the child in trouble that they loved them and they made sure to show them affection. They wanted their discipline to be associated with love and not anger.

Ashlyn left the boy to cry and went to talk to her wife. She didn't want to look at the sad boy in fear she would lose her resolve.

Ali put an arm around Ashlyn's waist and gave her a little squeeze. "You ok, babe?"

"As long as I don't see his sad little face, I think I can hold out for a couple minutes." Ash answered.

Alex butted in, "You talk a big game but that child has you wrapped around his finger."

"All our kids do." Ali said and then she corrected herself, "I do too." Ali gave her wife a knowing smile. She spoke the truth. Ashlyn couldn't deny that.

"He just needs to learn he can't treat you like that." Ashlyn found her resolve again. "He's cute but no one treats my wife like that."

If it wasn't for the fact that the back yard was full of people Ali would have taken her wife right then and there. She was smitten by her wife's respect for her.

Ash looked at her watch and decided Sam had suffered long enough. Ali watched her return to their youngest son and whisper something in his ear. He immediately reached out for her. She held him close and reassured him of her unchangeable love for him.

She carried him over to Ali and he spoke in almost a whisper "I sorry, Mommy. I love you."

Ali took the boy from her wife's arms. "I forgive you, baby. I love you too." Sam needed a moment with Ali, so she carried him away from their visitors and let him cuddle up close to her for a while until he was ready to play again.

"He's our sensitive child." Ash informed Alex and Tobin. "He's so sweet and tender, mixed with a lot of energy and a little wild." Ashlyn laughed.

"Lex is our dramatic one who likes to set everyone straight. So, basically Ali's mini-me." Ash couldn't help but chuckle.

"And then Jake is our strong and quiet one." She finished.

"When are we gonna meet this kid? I cried when Tobin told me his story and how it just seemed meant to be for you guys to find each other." Alex asked.

"He's with Ali's Dad today. He wanted to play soccer like us. So Ken takes him 3 times a week and runs through drills with him. And that's on top of his team practices that he has 4 times a week." Ashlyn said.

"It sounds like he was made for this family." Tobin finally spoke.

"He definitely was." Ash smiled, thinking of her sweet Jacob.

...

Tobin and Sam were finally reunited. Tobin hurled Sam down the slip-n-slide, causing the boy to break out into uncontrollable laughter. Ali had taken Lexi inside to clean up and change. She had gotten too ‘dirty’ in her opinion and needed to look her best for her aunt Alex.

“So,” Alex motioned toward Tobin and Sam, “is your other son gong to ignore me too?”

Ashlyn watched as Samuel wrestled with Tobin on the soapy surface. “Nah, I think you might actually be more his type. I think he’s more into dark brunettes, someone like Ali. The first two times we spoke, he mentioned how hot she was.” Ashlyn laughed, “I’m sure he looks at her a bit differently now but he still regards her very highly. So, you never know.”

“Thank goodness!” Alex laughed. “Maybe one of your sons will actually acknowledge me!”

“You know we love having you guys here, but you don’t have to spend all your time with us whenever we play each other. I feel like we might be cramping your childless, single life-style.” Ashlyn figured the two women might like to do something a little more fun, instead of hanging out at their house and playing with their kids.

“What are you talking about? We love being here. You guys are like family, and we love your kids even more than we love you. Besides, it’s good for Tobin to get a taste of the domesticated life....” Alex trailed off and sighed. Tobin moved too slow in her opinion when it came to making big relationship decisions.

“You want her to settle down right now?” Ash asked.

“I want her to stop over thinking every detail and just talk to me about it. She wants everything to be perfect before she makes a move. When in reality, her making the move will make everything perfect.”

“Hold up!” Ashlyn needed Alex to slow down. “Are you saying you want her to propose or start a family?”

“Honesty,” Alex got really quiet. “I’m ready for both. But at least let’s make things official and build a home and then down the road a family.”

“Have you told her this?”

“I mean, yeah I guess. You know her. She takes forever to make a move. I waited for a year before I just decided to ask her out myself. I’d never asked anyone out before, but I knew we would get no where if I waited on her. Even after she said she would go out with me, she said she had to think about whether she should kiss me or not. She said she didn’t want to ruin anything. I felt like smacking her...and then I kissed her. I can’t be the one making all the important moves. This one’s on her. I need to know that she really does want to be with me.” Alex finally took a breath.

“Of course she wants to be with you, she’s just extra careful with things that are important to her. And you’re the thing that she loves the most, give her a little time.” Ashlyn knew from talking to Tobin recently that she was planning to propose and on buying a house with Alex, but she couldn’t tell Alex that. That news was Tobin’s to share.

“I don’t know. I just don’t want to force anything on her. She needs to make this decision because she wants it and not because she thinks I want it. And I’m tired of waiting for her to figure it out.”

Alex was frustrated. Both her and Tobin had endured the long distance and uncertainty that Tobin’s adventurous and free spirit often led too. Alex was worried that the woman she was ready to settle down with wasn’t ever going to be happy with living a ‘boring’ normal married life. She was even more worried that Tobin would agree to it and be unhappy because more than anything she wanted Alex to be happy.

Both women were interrupted by Ali and Lex. Right away Lexi grabbed Alex’s hand and asked if she wanted to paint her nails. The little girl brought a smile back to Alex’s face.

...

The Spirit won another last minute nail biter. Their playoff hopes were still alive. The Thorns were also still fighting for a post season showing, as well. Ashlyn had watched the game from the stands. Her and the kids had a front row seat to all the action. Ali headed over to her family right after the final whistle.

“Hey baby, make sure Jake meets the girls.” Ali reminded her wife that Alex and Tobin really wanted to see him.

“Obviously, Alex.” Ash was a little snippy with her wife.

Watching these games always made her have mixed emotions. She was happy for her team, especially her wife, but she really missed playing. Her disappointment was obvious to Ali.

“Ok. Thank you.” Ali just dropped it for now. She took Sam in her arms and carried him halfway to Tobin and let him run the rest. He was too excited to wait on her to carry him over to her at normal speed.

Jacob gave Lex a piggy back ride to the field and followed Ashlyn to Alex and Tobin. He was nervous about meeting people who seemed really interested in him. The extra attention was unsettling to him. He would much rather let Sam get all the extra focus from the ladies.

“Hey guys, this is Jake.” Ash put an arm around his shoulders and he lowered himself a little so his sister could get off his back.

“Jake, this is Tobin and Alex. They’re really good friends of ours’. We go way back.” Alex put out her hand to shake and the boy nervously shook it. Tobin gave him a fist bump.

Both women knew he was a little quiet and shy so Alex decided to break the ice. “We’ve heard a lot of really great things about you, Jake. Your parents say you’re an amazing boy.”

“Um, thanks.” Jacob answered.

Ashlyn pulled Jake into her for a side hug trying to reduce some of his nerves. “We are so proud of this guy!” Ash said and a small smile started to creep up on Jake’s face.

...

The family invited Tobin and Alex out for dinner after the game. Ashlyn handed her wife her keys and asked, “Babe, give me your keys.”

“What? Why?” Ali was confused.

Ashlyn put a hand on Ali’s arm and leaned in to whisper in her ear, “I need to have a talk with Tobin alone. You take Alex and the kids and we’ll meet you there.”

Ali’s interest peaked. “What do you know?”

Ashlyn couldn’t help but laugh. Her wife loved gossip. “Alex just mentioned some stuff about settling down. Tobin needs to be a little more vocal about her long term intentions before Alex goes crazy.”

Ali smiled and shook her head. “Why do people always tell you all the juicy stuff?”

“Why does it matter? I always end up telling you, anyway.” Ash laughed and then gave Ali a pat on her butt.

Ali couldn’t argue with that. She did love to be in the know of all the inside information, and her wife has provided a lot of access to her over the years.

...

“So Tobin, I spoke to Alex today about you.” Ashlyn didn’t have time to beat around the bush. “She said you are taking too long to confirm your desire to settle down with her.”

“What? She said that?” Tobin seemed flustered.

“Yeah, sorry to be so blunt about it. But she said that she didn’t want to push you into anything, but she needs to know that you want her in your life long term.”

“Well, that sucks!” Tobin threw both hands up in frustration.

“What?” Ash was surprised by Tobin’s response.

“I want to propose, but I don’t want her to think I’m doing it because she wants me too. Now because she told you and you told me what she said, she is gonna think that’s the only reason I’m doing it.”

Tobin pulled something out of her bag. She opened the black velvet box and revealed a diamond ring.

“I bought this like 3 months ago. I’m totally down to marry the girl. I just want the moment to be perfect.”

“Wow, nice ring, Tobs. That thing is huge!" If it was Ali driving and experiencing the ring reveal the two women would have crashed for sure. The overload of information and fine gems would have put her into a hysterical celebration.

“Look dude, she basically said that she thought you might be waiting for everything to be perfect but you doing it would be what made everything perfect.”

Tobin couldn’t believe how well Alex knew her. “Hmm. She really said that?”

“Yeah, almost word for word.” Ash confirmed.

The two pulled into the restaurant parking lot and couldn’t continue their conversation, but enough was said to get the ball rolling in the right direction. Tobin had some things to think about. Hopefully she wouldn’t take too long thinking about it.

...

Tobin had Sam in her lap for most of dinner. Ali was exploding from the seams wanting to know how Ashlyn’s conversation with Tobin went. The group had gone to a sports bar that had a separate dining area, as well. The place was covered with televisions all over the walls. Jake was quiet most of the time and Tobin noticed him watching a sports news show talking about Lebron James returning to his home team.

“You a Lebron fan?” Tobin asked Jacob, nodding up at the tv.

“Yeah, I guess. I never thought he would go back to Cleveland, though. They like burned his jersey and the owner was kind of a jerk.” This was the most he had spoken all dinner.

“Yeah, I read about that. I loved what he said in the article he wrote for Sports Illustrated to explain his decision. He basically said ‘Who am I to hold a grudge?’ “ Tobin could see that those words didn’t mean much to the teenage boy.

So she continued, “It’s like he saw that he’s not perfect either. He has made mistakes and he decided to let go of his anger and unforgiveness and live the life that would bring him and his family the most happiness.”

By this time everyone’s attention was on Tobin and Jacob’s conversation. Tobin was about to speak some deep truths and the adults didn’t want to miss it.

“Yeah, but how does someone do that? Just stop being angry and forgive someone?” Jacob was personally very interested in this answer. He had his own anger and unforgiveness to deal with.

“I think it has more to do with the ‘forgiver’ than the one who needs forgiven.” Tobin answered.

Ashlyn leaned in and Ali put her hand on her wife’s back.

“What do you mean?” Jake asked.

“Forgiveness releases the forgiver of the burden they’ve been carrying. Forgiveness means freedom. Even if the person in the wrong never seeks out forgiveness, that weight needs to be dropped, man. It just needs to be let go.” Tobin the philosopher was dropping truth bombs today.

She looked around and saw that everyone’s attention was on her. She knew this was an important moment for some of them and she wanted to make sure she spoke carefully.

“There’s a difference between forgiveness and letting someone get away with hurting you or someone else. You gotta put up boundaries or do whatever you can to protect yourself and those you care about.
But unforgiveness gives the offender control over you. You don’t have to put yourself in a position for them to keep hurting you, but you should always try to take control back and let go of what has been continuing to bring you pain. Until you do that the person who hurt you will always have power over you."

Ashlyn interjected, "But how do you do that? That's what happened to me when I went to testify against my dad. It was like he was controlling me because I was so angry. So how do you stop letting people have the control?"

Tobin gave her girlfriend a look and warned her that she was going to use her as an example. Alex was worried she might reveal some forgotten fight they had or something. She couldn't think of anything significant that might apply to this situation.

"Let's say that maybe I do something really stupid or something that might hurt Alex. Maybe I don't even know that I'm doing it, but it still hurts her. She can either forgive me and let our love fill the hurt or hold on to it and let it cause even more pain than the original wound."

Alex gave Tobin a little smile. She really loved this woman.

Tobin continued, "Now, I think there are some wounds that we have to carry with us, but we have the power to fill those cuts with love and good things, like our loved ones," Tobin gestured towards Alex and then gave Sam a little hug, "and with focusing on all the good stuff in our lives that maybe we don't even feel like we deserve." Tobin looked at Alex again, letting her know that she is the 'good stuff' in her life she doesn't deserve.

Tobin felt comfortable enough with Ashlyn to be more direct with her and thought it might also be helpful for Jacob to hear too.

"I know you went through some pretty rough stuff, Ash. But look around you. I say maybe one day you can forgive your dad by filling up the hurt with these guys here." Tobin gestured towards Ali and the kids. "You can definitely see how whatever brought you to this place, whether good or bad, it brought you to a really great place. This is your life, dude. And it's beautiful. That doesn't excuse the people who hurt you, but it does release you from having to visit the past and hold onto that pain and live in this awesome place instead."

Ashlyn was tearing up. Jacob noticed and wanted to say something to offer her some comfort. He said the first thing that came to his mind, and it was the absolute best thing he could have said.

"Maybe if it wasn't for all that stuff, you wouldn't have adopted me." He could have said she wouldn't have adopted all three kids but he promised to hold on to that secret until the younger ones were old enough to understand.

Ashlyn turned to her son and couldn't believe how simple it all became. Her family was the proof that she was free from the junk she went through as a kid. But she was the one that kept visiting that place. She was finally ready to forgive and let it go.

Ali was ready to burst into tears. Her wife and son had more strength than she could ever imagine.

Ashlyn broke the awkward sentimental moment with a joke. She wiped her eyes and said "Geeze Tobin, I didn't know we were gonna get a sermon today!"

The adults and Jake laughed it off and went back to playing with the kids and having fun.

After dinner they all said their good-byes and Ali drove the two Portland Thorn players to their hotel.

Once Alex and Tobin left Ali's car and made their way into the hotel, Tobin stopped her girlfriend from opening their room door.

"Hold up a second." Tobin said. Alex had a surprised look on her face.

"I just wanted to tell you that I want what Ash and Ali have. And I want that with you. I have a plan. But you're gonna have to wait a little longer. I promise that it will be worth it, though."

Alex didn't know whether to strangle or hug Ashlyn for talking to Tobin about their private conversation. But she had to admit it did make her feel a lot better knowing that Tobin wanted the same things she did.

...

On the way home in Ashlyn's Jeep Jacob leaned over and said, "So Mom, are all your friends hot lesbians, or what?"

Ashlyn exploded in laughter.

"Dude, you are too much!"

Yeah, Tobin was right. Ashlyn's life turned out pretty great. There was no arguing that.

Who was she to hold a grudge?

Chapter Text

Ashlyn heard a quiet knock on the door. She was sleeping in on this particular morning because she was up late helping Ali's Dad design a tree house for the kids. Once the two got going they really got into it. They came up with lots of great ideas, like a secret escape exit including a rope ladder that can be raised and lowered.

They planned for a few secret compartments where they could stash their treasures. Sam already had a nice size collection of rocks he's found in the back yard and on several trips to the beach. There would be a small closet for Lex to keep a few different outfits and a drawer for her jewelry. They designed a shelving unit that could hold all types of stuff, with one entire shelf made out of an aquarium. They figured Sam and Jake could put something fun in there, maybe a snake or lizard. Ashlyn imagined the lower shelf being filled with jars for Sam's bug collection. This was only a fragment of what the two had thought up, which explains why they were up so late.

Ashlyn was only semi-sleeping. She was mid yawn when she heard her oldest son knocking on the door.

"Come in." Ashlyn half yawned.

"Sorry to wake you." Jake apologized as soon as he saw Ash was still under the covers and blurry eyed.

"I was working on waking up. You didn't wake me. What's up?"

"Uh, can I use your bathroom? Lex is in the one downstairs and Sam is doing something in our bathroom."

"Doing something...Doing what?" Ash was a little worried about whatever trouble her littlest guy was up too.

"He's on his step-stool at the sink and mixing stuff. It's a mess in there."

"Yeah, do whatever you gotta do. I'll take care of the Bamster."

...

"Samuel Christopher!" Ashlyn didn't exactly yell, but her tone and volume couldn't be mistaken.

"Oops." The guilty little boy said with bubbles coming out of his mouth. He was standing on his stool in front of the sink in nothing but his Avengers underwear.

"What in the world are you doing?" Ash asked.

"Mama, I sci-tist!" He meant scientist.

"Did you eat soap?" When she first saw the boy he was trying to rinse his mouth out.

"Mama, it doesn't taste like candy." The boy spit out the remaining bubbles and made a 'yucky' face. The scent of the soap was cotton candy and the 3 year old figured that's what it tasted like.

Ashlyn couldn't help but smile. "What about all the toothpaste on the mirror?"

"I artist." Ash couldn't argue with that.

"What do ya got going on in the cup?" Ash picked up Jake's rinse cup for brushing his teeth and Sam must have filled it with multiple liquids found on the sink counter and bathtub.

"My conction." Sam said, as if Ashlyn was crazy to even ask.

"Your concoction?" Ashlyn corrected his pronunciation.

"Secret potion." Sam-Bam clarified.

"Did you put Jake's deodorant on your belly?" Ashlyn pointed to the boy's stomach that had a messy white stripe across it.

"Yeee-up! I smell like Jakes." The boy said with a grin.

"Okay." Ashlyn was done trying to get a rational explanation from her 3 year old. "I think it's time for a bath, Bam."

"Mama, no!" He tried to run past Ashlyn, but he couldn't escape her reach. She grabbed him and wrestled him until he stilled in her arms.

He ended up having a great time playing with his toy boats in the bathtub and splashing Ashlyn. Ashlyn made sure to take a picture of Sam and the 'artistic/scientific' remains of his fun so she could show her wife his 'talent.'

...

Ash carried both Sam and Monster down to breakfast. She greeted her wife with a kiss and let Sam give her one too.

"Hey, there. You guys took a while to wake up." Ali was trying to give her wife a hard time for being lazy.

"Not really." Ashlyn took out her phone and showed the proof to her wife. "We've been up for a while. Someone has even had a bath already."

"That's me!" Sam wanted to make sure his Mommy knew he was nice and clean.

"Wow." That's all Ali could say in response to her son's destruction of the children's shared bathroom.

"We cleaned it up. Don't worry. I didn't leave a mess up there for you." Ashlyn read her wife's mind. Ali was already imagining how long it was going to take her to clean it.

"Thank you." Ali gave Ash another kiss. Usually in these types of situations they would tag team the cleaning. One would take the child and the other would clean the mess. It wasn't too surprising that Ashlyn would take care of it and not bother her wife, but Ali didn't let Ashlyn's thoughtful act of love go unnoticed.

Ali finished her kiss off by saying, "I love you, too." The two women often answered with 'I love you, too' to let the other know that they appreciate the practical every day things they do for the other because they care. Sometimes this might include something as small as washing the dishes, or putting the kids to bed alone so the other can have some quiet time, or filling the other's car with gas. All of these little actions added up to a lot of love and a happy marriage.

"We need to do an inventory of the kids' bathroom before we go to the store today. Our little artistic scientist wiped out a lot of stuff." Ashlyn informed her wife.

Ali brought both Ashlyn and Sam a plate and sat down to sit with them while they ate.

"I think Jacob's getting sick. One of us needs to take him to the doctor." Ali said.

"Is he too sick for practice?" Ash knew he wouldn't want to miss his soccer practice. He had been working hard to get his coaches attention.

"Probably." Ali answered. "Unless the doctor clears him to play I don't want him playing. It will only make it worse."

"He seemed fine when I saw him this morning."

"You didn't think he looked a little pale?" Ali asked.

"Um, hmm...I don't really remember." Ashlyn stuttered. She was starting to feel a little guilty that she didn't notice her son was sick.

"Maybe I'm just worrying too much." Ali leaned into Ashlyn and put her chin on her shoulder and watched her finish her eggs. Sam started telling a very animated story about Monster and him searching for squirrels in their back yard. Every now and then Ali would give Ashlyn a peck on the cheek to give her a little affection without interrupting their long winded son.

...

By the time they needed to leave for Jake's appointment it was clear that he wasn't feeling well. For the first time ever he let Ali pull him into a hug and rest his head on her shoulder while they watched a movie on Netflix. He quickly fell asleep in his mother's arms. He usually thought of himself as too old for this kind of thing, but today he needed a mother's comfort to help him feel better.

Ashlyn took a picture of the sweet moment unfolding before her. She would make sure Ali and her kept the picture between the two of them only. She didn't want to embarrass their big and tough teenage son. But this was a moment worth remembering.

The original plan was for Ashlyn to take him and Ali would watch the younger kids and go to the store. Ash thought maybe it would be better for them to change their plans and have Ali take him instead. Ever since adopting him, they have tried to be sensitive to his comfort level with affection and interaction with the family. They both thought that in some ways he was more comfortable being vulnerable with Ali and in other ways with Ashlyn. It looked like today it was Ali who he needed most.

Ali gave Ashlyn the list of things needed and instructed her on which stores had the best deals. She watched as her wife's eyes glazed over with the overload of information being given to her about things she really didn't care about. Ali ended up telling her to do her best and not to worry too much about it.

...

"Baby, I don't understand. How did you end up with half of the list and most of it isn't even right?" Ali was amazed at her wife's lack of shopping ability.

"You said it wasn't a big deal. I tried." Ashlyn defended herself but she knew she could have done a lot better.

"You didn't try very hard. I wrote in detail the brand and name of each item. How do you get 'canned tomato paste' when I clearly wrote 'tomatoes' in the veggie section of the list. I even divided the items up by sections, so that you would have an easier time finding them." Ali just didn't understand.

"Well, to be fair tomatoes are a fruit so..." Ashlyn let her lame excuse hang in the air.

Ali didn't say a word. She just stared at her wife in disbelief. She shook her head and walked away.

"Al?" Ash followed her wife. She wasn't sure whether she was in trouble or if her wife felt sorry for her and didn't know what to say.

Ash grabbed Ali's arm and turned her around. "Al?"

"It's ok, Ash. I'll fix it tomorrow. Don't worry about it." Ali was frustrated.

"I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't paying very close attention. I'm sorry I messed up." Ash really did feel bad. Her attention span just couldn't handle Ali's OCD list while shopping with two small children.

"Seriously, it's fine." Ali said. But it didn't seem fine and Ash didn't know why.

...

Ashlyn checked up on Jake and found him asleep in his bed. Ali had told her that the doctor said he probably had a virus and it should go away with a lot of rest and staying hydrated. He said to follow up with him if Jake didn't feel better in a few days.

He did look sad, she thought. Even as he slept, he looked troubled. Ashlyn figured that this was probably the source of Ali's struggles. She immediately went to check on her wife.

Ali was in the back yard watching their two younger kids play with Monster. She jumped when she felt her wife touch her back.

"Oops, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." Ash apologized.

Ali rolled her eyes and let out a heavy sigh. "It's fine." She said.

"Ok so," Ash was feeling brave. "either I am a huge disappointment to you and you have given up on my competence or there's something bothering you."

Ali's head dropped as soon as she heard her wife say she was a 'huge disappointment.' She didn't realize she had treated her that way.

"I'm sorry." Ali apologized quietly. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way." Ashlyn could see tears starting to collect in Ali's eyes. She was right. There was something bothering her wife.

She put her arms around Ali and gave her a moment to gather her thoughts. She didn't need to ask for an explanation. She knew her wife would share her heart with her when she could.

Ali gave a little sniffle and turned her face so that Ash would be able to hear her. "The doctor said that Jake has chronic fatigue syndrome, which is why his immune system is so weak. He asked me to leave the room so that he could ask Jacob questions in private. Jake looked so scared and begged me not to leave. When the doctor was satisfied that Jacob didn't mind speaking in front of me he asked him a bunch of questions about abuse and drug use."

Ali needed to take a breath. She had to stop for a moment. Ashlyn waited for her to finish.

"The doctor said that stress and trauma lead to this syndrome and he obviously hasn't gotten over what he experienced before we adopted him." Ali was done explaining but her wife didn't know what to say as a response.

"That look on your face," Ali pointed out to Ashlyn. "that's how I've been feeling since we left the doctor's office."

Ashlyn just offered a sad smile as response. She didn't know what to say. Her son was hurting and she was helpless to make it better.

"And also, the doctor said he will probably need to cut down on some of his extra activities."

Ashlyn's face looked like someone had just physically wounded her. "Does that mean he can't play soccer anymore?"

"It means we have to be careful and watch his health when he's active. I might cut down his practice time with my dad to start with."

"He loves playing with your dad. I think it's important for him to have that time with him." Ashlyn wasn't satisfied with that course of action.

"He can still spend time with him, he will just need to take it easy."

"He's a kid. He should be able to run around and have fun."

"Ashlyn, I'm just as disappointed as you are, but we have to confront this and help him get better. We can't avoid it because it's gonna be tough."

"I guess so." Ash looked so sad. "It just sucks not being able to do what you love." Ashlyn had personal experience with missing out on playing soccer because of health reasons. She really felt for her son. She wished she could have kept him from having to experience the same disappointment.

"The doctor said this doesn't have to be forever. We can help him get better. We WILL help him get better."

Ashlyn nodded in agreement. "No matter what it takes." She said.

...

The following day Jacob seemed to be feeling a little better. He still stayed close to Ali all day. She decided to take it easy herself to make it easier for Jacob to continue to get rest. They spent most of the day watching family comedies on tv and eating popsicles.

That night after all the kids were in bed Ali's to-do list finally caught up with her.

"Dang it, Ashlyn!" Ali smacked the comforter where Aslyn's arm lied beneath.

"What?"

"I didn't go to the store today and fix your mess from yesterday." Ali scolded.

"Hey, you're not allowed to be mad at me anymore for that. You said it was ok." Ashlyn defended.

"I'm allowed to be as mad at you as I want. I'm your wife. That's my job!''

"Wow, I thought your job was to love me. Forget you." Ashlyn pulled the blanket up over her head to block out her wife's comeback.

Ali attacked her and ended up wrestling her to the floor. She held her wife down by the shoulders and started to give her hard kisses on her face. Ashlyn tried to break free but she was tangled up in the blanket beneath Ali's weight.

"I'm so sorry!" Ali kissed her. "Please forgive me!' Another kiss. "You're the best wife ever!" Two more kisses. "Who cares if you suck at the grocery store."

Both Ashlyn and Ali were cracking up too loud to hear their son knocking on the door. He opened it a crack to make sure they were alright.

"Umm," Jake interrupted their ridiculous situation. "I heard a loud noise. Are you guys ok? Or uhh...should I go?" Jacob couldn't see Ashlyn. He was really hoping he didn't interrupt something that involved either of his mothers not wearing clothes.

"It's fine, Jake. I threw your mom off the bed because she made me have to go back to the grocery store." Ali said.

"Ok first off, I didn't make you do anything, and second you did not throw me off the bed. I just thought the carpet looked comfortable." Ashlyn didn't want to admit that she had been bested by her wife.

"Ohh-kay." Jacob slowly accepted their answer, said good night and then returned to his room.

"Our son thinks we're crazy." Ali observed.

"Crazy in love!" Ashlyn said and then tackled her wife to the ground seeking her revenge.

Chapter Text

FLASHBACK

"Ashlyn, honey. What are you doing here?" Ali's mom jumped out of her chair and greeted Ashlyn with a warm hug.

"Kyle called me." Ash answered her best friend's mom.

Deb gave Ashlyn a kiss on the cheek and said, "I'm so glad you're here, sweetheart. Ali will be glad to know..." Debbie's words were interrupted by her own sobs.

"How is she?" Ashlyn was trying to be strong for Ali's family. Kyle had called her and told her that Ali's boyfriend brought her to the emergency room because she was having difficulty breathing. She begged him to keep her updated while she tried to figure out a way to get to her.

She ended up taking a bus halfway and then hitch hiking the rest. In the middle of her journey she found out Ali had a heart attack, several heart attacks actually.

"The doctors say Brent saved her life by bringing her in. If she would have gone to sleep, she probably wouldn't have woken up." Ali's mom could barely hold it together.

"But she's ok now?"

"They want to monitor her closely, but they're optimistic. Brent's in there with her now. He said he would come get us when he was done."

Ashlyn was thankful Brent helped her best friend, but jealous that he held a place in Ali's heart she wished she could fill.

She knew she never had a chance with Ali. All she could ever be was her best friend. If that's all she could ever have of Ali then that would have to be good enough.

Ashlyn sat in between Ali's parents and waited to see the love of her life. She was waiting for the person Ali loved, Brent, to come and get her. As if he was her access to Ali. It just didn't feel right. None of it did.

Brent finally came to the waiting room and Deb greeted him with a hug and kiss. Ken stayed seated next to Ashlyn with his arm around her shoulders protectively. All he knew was that Ashlyn loved his daughter, he didn't know the full capacity of it, but he wanted to give her strength and support. He knew this time was difficult for her just like it was for the rest of the family.

"You can go see her if you want." Brent said.

Ashlyn couldn't help but cringe a little. Ashlyn would see her whether he liked it or not. Nothing would stop her from getting to Ali.

The room was quiet, except for the whirring of machines and a few beeps every now and then. Ashlyn couldn't bring herself to take more than two steps into the room. She was so scared.

Ali had been acting strange toward her lately and the last conversation they had was a big fight. Ashlyn didn't understand why Ali was pushing her away.

Ashlyn was suddenly afraid that Ali wouldn't want her there.

Mr. Krieger, once again, put his arm around her. "It's ok, Ashlyn. I'm sure she would love to hear your voice. Go talk to her."

Ashlyn was torn. She would've confessed her love to Ali right then and there if it would have mattered, but Ali didn't care. Did Ali even care about her as a friend anymore?

Maybe she had made a big mistake by assuming she was welcome into such a vulnerable time for Ali. She messed up.

She just wanted to run.

But Ken's arm stayed firmly around her and she knew she had to move forward. One way or the other, she thought, it was time to move forward. Her whole life was on hold for someone who didn't want her. The dream was over. This visit is about her moving on from being in love with Ali and being here as simply a friend.

Ashlyn approached the sleeping woman. She held her hand and squeezed it gently. "I'm here, Alex. I just wanted you to know that."

She let go of her hand and signaled for Ali's mom to take her seat next to her daughter. She found a chair next to the window in the room and kept her distance for the rest of the night.

...

Ali woke up really out of it. Ashlyn watched from her seat in the back of the room as Deb, Ken, and Brent rushed to her side. She watched them get hugs and kisses from Ali that she wished belonged to her.

After several minutes Ken interrupted the conversation, as if he suddenly remembered something important. "Alex, someone else is here to see you." He moved out of the way so that Ali could see Ashlyn.

Ali thought that Ashlyn looked so sad and small in the back corner of the hospital room. She knew in that moment that it wasn't right for someone so important to her to be outside the intimate circle of loved ones around her.

It just seemed wrong.

The length of time it took Ash to take her place next to Ali felt awkwardly long. Ali could tell she felt unwelcome. Ali knew it was all her fault.

"Hey." Ali said quietly with a cautious smile.

"Hey." Ash returned. She seemed ashamed. To her it felt like she was intruding.

"I thought I'd dreamt you." Ali said.

"What?"

"I remember I was dreaming. And I thought I was dying. And then I heard your voice say you were with me. And I knew everything would be ok." Ali's voice was tired and raspy.

"I'm glad you're ok. I was really scared."

Ali adjusted her hand, being careful not to pull out her IV, and placed it on the side of Ashlyn's face. "I'm ok...Now that you're here."

Ali noticed a tear trying to escape from Ashlyn's eye. She used her thumb to clear it away.

"You're always welcome here." Ali grabbed Ashlyn's hand and brought it down with her own hand to cover her heart that was covered in wires. "I love you, Ashlyn."

...

Ashlyn would later reveal to Ali that it was in that moment that Ali's words convinced her not to give up loving her. Ashlyn was ready to move on because the waiting hurt so much.

But Ali's simple words of 'I love you' were enough to confirm to Ashlyn that she was worth the wait.

Chapter Text

FLASHBACK

Ali was late. It wasn't her fault. Her plane was delayed and then they misplaced her luggage. She finally had to tell them she would need to follow up with them later. She had somewhere to be.

The traffic didn't help her cause, either. She had gone to so much effort to make sure she didn't miss out on this special day but the universe seemed to be against her. She ended up having to get changed in the back of the cab. She warned her driver not to look but he definitely got a free show.

They pulled up to her destination, she quickly paid the fare and tip and went sprinting in her black dress and heels. She had her back pack that she used as a carry-on hanging off of one of her shoulders and ran with all of her heart.

She slipped into the back of the auditorium in the middle of the opening invocation. She found a lone seat and quietly sat down. With every passing speech and ceremonial presentation her heart rate rose within her chest. She couldn't hide the pride threatening to spill out of her.

Finally the time had come and each graduate's name was announced. When the time came for Ashlyn to walk on stage to get her diploma Ali knew immediately where her best friend's family was seated because of Chris' very loud cheers resonating through the place.

Ashlyn had done it. She was the first ever college graduate in her family. The road to this day was not easy. She didn't have much help. She earned every grade, scholarship and chance she ever got. Ali could remember conversations with her best friend telling her she was sleepless, not because of partying, but because of studying. Ashlyn knew that if she didn't get the grades, she couldn't be on the soccer team and she would lose her scholarship. If she lost her scholarship she would blow the only chance she had at a college education.

Ashlyn sometimes played it off like she was out partying or staying up nights with girls for romantic reasons, but Ali knew the truth. Ashlyn wasn't into any of those things. She was focused on only a few things, 1-Family, 2-School, and 3-Soccer. She often teased Ashlyn about not having enough time to talk to her when she called.

But Ashlyn always made time for Ali.

...

After the ceremony Ali rushed to find Ash's family in the crowd. No one knew that she was there and she didn't want to lose them and miss out on giving her best friend a congratulatory hug. Chris was the first to spot her.

"Hey, what the heck are you doing here, Al?" He grabbed her and pulled her into a rough 'big brother' type hug.

"I wanted to surprise Ash." Ali suddenly felt a little embarrassed.

"She's gonna crap her pants!" Chris always had a way with words.

"I hope not." Ali laughed.

Ashlyn's grandma and grandpa were happy to see Ali, too. They both gave her a hug and went on and on about how happy Ash was going to be to see her. Ali noticed someone else in the group that she didn't recognize. Ashlyn's grandma saw Ali's confusion and introduced the two.

"Ali honey, this is Jessica." Grandma Harris gestured toward the pretty brunette.

"I'm Ashlyn's girlfriend." She made sure t o set Ali straight as she stuck out her hand for her to shake.

"Ashlyn never mentioned you." Ali replied. It was rude, but it was also the truth. And Ali didn't like that this girl was practically marking her territory right off the bat. This girl had no idea who she was talking to. Ali was certain she knew and cared more about Ashlyn's heart than this new girl could ever hope to.

"Your Ali." The girl replied. "She HAS mentioned you." The way the girl said this made Ali wonder why it sounded almost protective. Was this girl trying to protect Ashlyn from her? Did Ashlyn tell her something that would make her think she needed to?

Ashlyn finally made her way to the group and was stunned to see the woman she was in love with speaking to the woman she was using to dull the pain of loneliness.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Ashlyn only had eyes for Ali. She completely blocked out everyone else in the group.

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Well, mission accomplished!" Ashlyn took her best friend into a hug and put her face in her hair. She inhaled deeply and took in Ali's scent. She smelled like home, Ashlyn thought.

Ashlyn held on far longer than she should have, especially with her 'sorta' girlfriend standing next to her. But she truly was oblivious to anyone else in the huge crowd-filled auditorium.

"Ali, I just can't believe you're here. I would never have expected you to cross an ocean just to see me graduate. You really are the BEST best friend ever!" Ashlyn was gushing over Ali. She was already a bundle of emotions because of everything the day represented to her. But her feelings for Ali came through the strongest.

"I hate to interrupt you," Ashlyn's girlfriend lied, "but we do have reservations."

"Ok, well um...I'm assuming Alex needs a ride so, she can ride in my car and Jess, you have your own car, and Chris rode with these guys." Ash pointed to her grandparents. "So, Al and I will meet you there!"

Ali loved the carpool arrangements. Jessica did not.

...

"So Al, tell me about your trip." Ash had her hand on the gear shift of her worn out Toyota Corolla.

"I can't believe this thing still runs." Ali used her hand to wipe off the dust on Ashlyn's dashboard.

"200,000 miles and still going strong. Well, maybe strong is the wrong word." Ash laughed. "Sorry, we can't all be sponsored by BMW, Al."

It was true, ever since signing with Frankfurt Ali had her own BMW and a bit more comfortable of a budget than Ashlyn. But that sort of stuff didn't matter to them. They were equals. They were soul mates.

"Ok, I'm ignoring your comment and...my trip was a little crazy. They lost my luggage. I barely made it, but I'm glad I did." Ali smiled when she saw the huge smile on her best friend's face.

"Al, I just can't believe you're here."

Ali put her hand on top of Ashlyn's hand on the gear shift and said, "I wouldn't have missed it for the world, Ash. This is a really big deal! I'm so proud of you." Ali left her hand on Ashlyn's until they arrived at the restaurant.

...

The celebratory meal was awkward, especially for the girl that referred to herself as Ashlyn's girlfriend. Ali still wasn't sure what was going on there. Whatever was going on, she didn't like it.

Ashlyn's family adored Ali. They gave her almost as much attention as the guest of honor. If it was anyone else, Ashlyn probably would have been jealous, but she didn't mind sharing the spotlight with Ali. She didn't mind completely disappearing in the background if it meant Ali was close and happy.

Ashlyn had her hand on the table, playing with her straw wrapper. She was paying close attention to her best friend's story about her traveling nightmares. She loved how even though Ali should be exhausted and grumpy, she still managed to be the most beautiful person in the room. The way she could laugh off the drama and light up the whole world with her smile was amazing. Ashlyn wondered if it was only her own world that Ali lit up, or if everyone was as mesmerized by her as she was. Either way Ashlyn couldn't take her eyes off of her.

Ali's words caught in her throat briefly as she watched 'new girl' Jessica grab Ashlyn's hand to hold. She watched Ash stiffen at the contact and then move her hand to her glass to take a dirnk. Ali wondered if she did this because she was thirsty or because she wanted distance from her so-called 'girlfriend.'

"So Al," Ash cleared her throat and put her focus back on Ali, where it belonged. "Are you gonna stay with me while you're here? They haven't kicked me out yet." Ashlyn laughed.

"Yeah, I mean, I didn't really plan anything else. I guess I could get a hotel room if you get sick of me." Ali answered with a smile.

"I think as long as you behave we should be ok." Ashlyn joked. "Besides, I haven't even started packing yet."

"Why am I not surprised?" Ali shook her head. She couldn't help the smile that crept up on her face as she imagined her best friend's last minute procrastinating ways.

...

"Ashlyn?" Ali was curious but continued with caution. She didn't know if she really wanted to know the answer to the question that had been nagging at her heart since she met Jessica.

"Yeah?" Ashlyn was stuffing a duffle bag with clothes, still on the hangers. Ali took the bag and clothes from her and began folding the garments.

"I was wondering about your friend, Jessica." Ali chose to use the word 'friend' on purpose. She didn't want to acknowledge they could be any thing more.

Ali couldn't tell if Ashlyn was embarrassed or ashamed. Ash put her head down and walked to the other side of the room. She stared out of the window for a few awkward moments before answering.

"I guess, I don't know...I guess I got lonely." Ashlyn could never lie to Ali, even though she wished she could.

"Do you," Ali hesitated. She hated even asking Ashlyn, but worried more about her answer. "Do you love her?"

"Heck, no!" Ashlyn answered emphatically.

"I just wonder why you're with her then." Ali was trying to hide her jealousy with concern.

"Why not? I mean, it's not like I have anyone who is all that interested in me." Ashlyn sat on the corner of the desk next to the window and finally looked at Ali.

"Don't say that, Ash. I'm sure there are a lot of people interested. You're amazing!" Ali couldn't believe Ashlyn would ever have a hard time finding someone. She didn't necessarily want her to find someone, but she always figured she could.

"Do you want me to be honest, Al?" Ashlyn's tone completely changed. It was almost aggressive.

"Of course!

"Soccer and school have been my life. School is over. I might not get signed by a club team, and you know how it is with US Soccer. Sometimes they like me and sometimes it seems like nothing could be further from the truth. If I don't have school or soccer what do I have?"

"You have me." Ali answered timidly.

"Do I?"

Ali felt the weight of Ashlyn's question. She knew it was much bigger than a simple question. They had been dancing around Ashlyn's supposed crush and Ali's disinterest in a romantic relationship with her for years.

The problem was Ashlyn had much more than a crush and Ali was just as in love with her best friend as Ashlyn was with her. But Ali was still hiding from Ashlyn, and mostly from herself. Ali wasn't ready to carry the weight of Ashlyn's real question, so she brushed it off as a joke and broke Ashlyn's heart once again.

"Of course you do, silly. You're my best friend."

Ashlyn mustered up a smile, but Ali could still read the hurt on her face.

"Sure, Al." Ashlyn went back to stuffing her clothes in a bag. When she ran out of clothes in the closet she went for the ones on the bed that Ali had folded. She jammed the once neatly placed items violently into the little space left and tried to quiet the cries of her heart.

This time Ali didn't object to Ashlyn's way of packing. Wrinkles were the least of her worries.

...

"You don't love her, ya know?" Ali interrupted Ashlyn's rock throwing. "I don't even think you like her."

"Why do you even care, Alex?" Ashlyn went back to skipping rocks in the man made lake on campus.

"Because I care about you. And it's not fair to her either."

"She likes being with me. I know that might be hard for you to understand, but she is actually happy with me. Why am I a bad guy for wanting to be with someone who actually wants me?" Ashlyn was reaching for any reason to justify her actions that were betraying her heart.

"Ash, you don't want her!"

"Once again Alex, why do you care?"

Ali didn't have an answer that would satisfy her best friend. So she dropped it.

...

Ashlyn drove Ali to the airport. She carried in her bags and gave Ali a hug. She thanked her for coming and for helping her pack.

"Ashlyn, why didn't you tell me about her?" Ali didn't even need to say her name.

Ashlyn felt guilty. That's why she didn't tell her. She was so lonely and wanted someone to tell her that she was enough. She wanted someone to hold her tight, hoping it would make the hurt go away for a little while. She knew it would always come back again, especially every time she thought about Ali.

"Ali, if you have something to say then say it. If not, then mind your own business!"

Ali was startled by Ashlyn's anger. Ali wondered if Ash knew she was a coward. Did her best friend know that she was afraid to face who she really was? Ashlyn wasn't the only one keeping secrets.

"I'm sorry, Ash. You're right. It's none of my business. Congratulations. I'm proud of you." Ali was ready to go. It was too hard to stay.

"I'm sorry, Alex. I didn't mean to snap at you. Thank you for coming. You were my only friend who came. It was more than I could ever have expected. It really did mean a lot to me."

Ali hugged Ash and kissed her cheek.

"I'll see you soon. Love you." Ali let go of Ashlyn and determined in her heart that the next time they see each other she would finally be honest with her best friend.

Ashlyn watched Ali walk away and felt in her heart that the distance between them was only growing. She broke up with Jessica that very same day.

Chapter Text

FLASHBACK

Leaving Ashlyn that day at the airport was difficult. Ali finally figured out what she wanted but she had no idea how to go about getting it. She had a lot of things to think about on her long plane ride back to Germany.

Ashlyn took the long way back to campus after watching Ali walk away from her. She felt lost. She felt like a fool. She was trying to fill a void that was specifically shaped in the likeness and perfection of her best friend. She could never find someone who could fill that emptiness. Ali was the only medicine that could cure this wound that destiny forced her to carry.

Once Ali arrived to her apartment in Germany she called Kyle. She explained to him the feelings she was having for her best friend.

"Al, are you more scared that you're in love with a woman or that you're in love with Ashlyn?" He asked her.

"I honestly don't know, Kyle."

"You can't unload all this on her and then just change your mind. You will destroy her. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I do. That's why it's taken me so long. But you should've seen her, Kyle. She was so happy to see me. And I could tell she wasn't happy with that stupid Jessica girl." Ali really did not like Jessica.

Kyle couldn't help but laugh. His sister was crazy jealous.

"It's not funny, Kyle. Shut up!" She couldn't believe Kyle was laughing at her pain.

"Listen sis, you know I love you. And you know I understand what it means to realize you're attracted to the same sex, but I know that these things can be confusing. And as much as I love both you and Ash and the idea of you two together, you really need to proceed with caution. You could absolutely destroy anything you have with Ashlyn if this is some experiment or phase."

Kyle's tone was serious and somber. Ali decided he was right and figured she had to stay away from Ashlyn until she knew for sure what she felt.

...

Ashlyn returned to her mostly empty dorm room and found her 'sorta' girlfriend waiting at her door. Ashlyn gave her a forced smile and pulled her up off of the floor she had been sitting on.

"You ok, Ash?" Jessica really wasn't a terrible person. She just wasn't Ali.

"Yeah, I guess." Ashlyn answered. She opened the door and held it for Jess to walk in behind her. Her dorm room was mostly cleared out but she had her small fridge still plugged in so she grabbed a beer and handed one to Jessica.

Ashlyn had a mattress that she used as a bed and a piece of furniture, if the occasion called for it. The two women sat on the mattress and drank. After Ash had finished her second can her soon to be ex-girlfriend broke the silence.

"So...this is it, huh?"

"What?" Ash asked. She was truly confused about what Jess was talking about.

"You're in love with her."

Ash took a breath and slowly let it out. Finally she answered sadly, "Yeah."

"Have you always been in love with her? I mean, since we started?"

"Yeah."

Ashlyn felt like the worst person in the world. Not only because of the constant ache in her chest but because she knew she did Jessica wrong. She truly was a kind and wonderful person. But Ashlyn was destined to be alone. At least that's how it felt.

"Do you love me, at all?" Jess asked. She thought that maybe it was possible Ashlyn cared for them both and that as Ash's love for her grew her love for Ali would one day fade away.

Ashlyn wanted to cry. Her body felt as though it was covered in wet cement. The guilt was so heavy.

"No." Ashlyn wanted to apologize, but her head was spinning.

Jessica slapped her. And then she slapped her again. She stormed out of the room and once again, Ashlyn was completely alone.

...

Ashlyn had decided she needed to guard her heart from Ali. She sent her emails and even wrote her a letter. She reached out cautiously towards Ali but her efforts were met with silence.

Ali was busy trying to figure things out. She was trying to protect Ashlyn, but was only hurting her more. Ali finally came to a place where she was at peace with who she was and she told her family that she was gay. She wanted to tell Ashlyn, but she thought again about it. She was still trying to protect her by staying away.

Ali let it slip to Pinoe that she was interested in a woman. When Megan pressed for more information she let it slip that it was Ashlyn. She wasn't surprised. No one was surprised. The two were made for each other.

A few months later Pinoe asked Ashlyn what she thought about Ali coming out. Pinoe was trying to play match maker but the conversation never made it that far. Ashlyn quickly ended their conversation and hung up on her blonde friend.

It broke Ashlyn's heart to find out that Ali didn't tell her. She couldn't understand why her supposed best friend would hide something like this from her. She figured it must have been because she thought Ashlyn would try to pursue her romantically. So Ashlyn got the message loud and clear. Ali didn't want her.

...

The months that followed for Ashlyn were dark. She was done with Ali. Whatever Ali's excuse could possibly be to hide something like this from her didn't matter. Ashlyn's hope was dying fast.

She found herself most nights trying to avoid having to be alone. She would go out with team mates and drink until she couldn't feel Ali's presence anymore. There were a couple of people Ash hooked up with during that time but it wasn't about that. It was about trying to escape.

This continued until one morning she woke up with the worst hangover she ever had. She couldn't remember a thing about the previous night. Her body was sore. Really sore. She looked at herself in the mirror and saw she was covered in bruises. Someone had done this to her while she was too out of it to stop them. Ashlyn could barely walk. She remembered this feeling from when she was younger. It was the same kind of pain she felt when one of her former foster father's sexually assaulted her.

She couldn't know for sure if that's what happened unless she went to the hospital and got checked out. She honestly didn't want to know. She decided that day that something in her life had to change. It was time to let Ali go.

...

It had been almost a year after Ashlyn graduated that she saw Ali in person again. It was at a National Team Camp and Ashlyn did her best to avoid her. Ali knew if anything was going to be fixed between them that she had to be the one to do it.

That was the camp that she poured her heart out to Ashlyn and finally got to kiss the love of her life. When Ashlyn told her about their time apart Ali couldn't stop crying. She blamed herself for every blow Ashlyn's heart and body took during that time. She vowed to never let anyone hurt her again.

Chapter Text

Ashlyn woke up early because of a headache. She had been told by her doctor that she needed to be extra cautious whenever she had one because of her previous head injury.

She still got headaches like any normal healthy person does but they can sometimes be a little more painful. She knows that if it feels like a normal headache then the length of the headache is really what matters.

She was trying everything to get rid of the one that snuck up on her while she was sleeping. She took Tylenol, an allergy pill, even a huge cup of coffee hoping the caffeine might help. She learned that the pressure point for a headache was by the base of your thumb so she pushed on her hand until it was bruised.

Nothing seemed to work.

Ashlyn was getting desperate. She was scared that her injury may never fully heal. She was scared that she would never play soccer again. And mostly she was scared to tell Ali.

Her injury was the most difficult thing their marriage had ever endured. Ali was faithful and understanding through it all, but Ashlyn hated putting her through that again. Ali didn't deserve it and Ashlyn didn't want to worry her for no reason either.

She had made a promise to Ali that she would tell her if she ever started having problems again. She intended to keep that promise, but she wanted to make sure she wasn't making a big deal out of nothing.

Maybe it was just a headache.

...

Ali found her wife asleep on the bottom of the slide in their back yard. To most people it might seem strange to find your spouse asleep on a children's jungle gym early in the morning, but Ali had learned a long time ago that her wife wasn't like most people. Her wife was unique. And unique is beautiful.

If Ali had known that Ashlyn had only recently fallen back to sleep she wouldn't have woken her, but she had no idea about her wife's night of suffering.

"Ash." Ali shook her shoulder a little bit.

Ashlyn scrunched her face and covered her eyes from the morning sun. She let out a confused groan, which was her usual morning greeting for her wife.

"Baby, why are you sleeping on the slide?" Ali stroked Ashlyn's face as she slowly closed her eyes again.

"Ash, for real. You can't sleep out here. Sam is gonna think it's cool and we won't be able to get him to stay in his bed at night." Ali gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Come on, sleepy head." She pulled on Ashlyn's arm and helped her up. It took Ashlyn too long to find her balance. Ali thought nothing of it. She figured it was because she was tired. Ashlyn has never been a morning person.

Ashlyn laid her head down on her arms at the table, while her wife made breakfast and her kids filed in.

"What's wrong with her?" Jake asked nodding towards Ashlyn.

"She's tired. I don't think she slept well last night." Ali answered. "She'll feel better once she gets some coffee in her."

Ali looked for her wife's favorite mug but couldn't find it. She went to the coffee maker and couldn't believe that it wasn't clean. She always makes sure it's clean and ready for the next morning. Coffee is no joke at the Krieger-Harris house.

Ali looked up from her coffee mission and instructed that one of her kids take Monster out. Jake volunteered and came back carrying Ashlyn's missing mug.

"I found this outside." Jake handed it to her.

"Well, that mystery is solved." She wondered why Ashlyn would drink coffee in the middle of the night.

"Ash," Ali put a fresh cup of coffee in front of her wife and rubbed her back. "I've got some coffee for you if you wanna wake up a little bit."

Ashlyn finally lifted her head and slouched back into her chair. Her eyes were bloodshot and tired looking. She managed a quiet thank you and took a sip from the mug her wife had given her.

"How late did you stay up last night?" Ali asked. Ashlyn and Ken had been planning for a tree house for the kids all week and they had a few late night brain storming sessions together. Ali assumed that was what happened. Maybe Ashlyn got home, sat out back and visualized their plans. She could definitely see her wife doing something like that.

"I can't remember." Ashlyn really didn't remember what time she got in.

Ali gave her a kiss on the side of her head and said, "Hopefully some coffee and breakfast will help wake you up."

Ashlyn yawned and nodded in response.

...

Ali was on her way to Houston with the team for a game. Ashlyn and the kids were staying home for this one. Their two oldest children had soccer practice and it just made sense for Ash to stay home since she couldn't play anyway.

Ali made sure not to force the decision on her to stay. She knew it was hard for her to miss out on team stuff, but Ashlyn agreed that it just didn't make sense to leave the kids with their grandpa if she was able to take care of them herself.

Ashlyn's headache seemed to be manageable. It was a dull pain that felt like it was just sitting and pushing down on the side of her head.

She resigned to the fact that no cup of coffee, no matter how big, was going to fix it. She tried every pill she could think of. It was time to go to the doctor.

She had it all planned out. There was a 2 hour window of time where all of her kids' schedules had them busy doing something. She used that time to talk to her doctor.

...

"How long have you had the headaches?" Her doctor asked. He had a notebook in his lap and was sitting across from her.

"I've been getting normal headaches off and on. This is the first time it hasn't gone away." She answered.

"On a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate your pain?"

"Right now it's probably a 2 or 3." She hesitated, but remembered her promise to Ali after the surgery that she would be careful with her recovery. "Last night it was probably more like a 7."

The doctor scribbled something on his paper.

"Did you drive here?"

"Yes sir."

"How was that? Do the lights or the sun cause you pain? What about your vision?" He seemed to not like the idea that she had been driving.

"It wasn't that bad." Ashlyn immediately regretted seeing him. She felt like everything was going to be blown out of proportion and once again her family would be put through a whirlwind.

"We need to run some tests to get a better idea of what's going on."

"I don't have time for that. I have to pick up my kids."

"Ashlyn, this can't wait. Call someone to pick up your kids. Where's your wife? She's usually here with you for these appointments."

"She's at work." Ashlyn was done with the conversation. "I'm sorry doc, but tests are gonna have to wait. I have to pick up my son."

Ashlyn stood up and walked out. She left the doctor sitting there with his pen in his hand and a shocked look on his face.

...

Jacob's practice had ended 20 minutes ago and still no sign of his mother. He knew that she had to pick up his brother and sister so he thought she was just running late.

He tried calling her phone but it just rang and went to voicemail. He ran out of options. It was time to call his other Mom.

"Hey, sweetheart. You just caught me getting off the plane. Can I call you back in a few minutes?" Ali wanted to get her carry-on and find her way to baggage claim with the team before stopping to talk on her phone.

"Um..." Jake hesitated. He was worried about Ashlyn and worried that maybe he was bothering Ali. "I guess so."

Thankfully Ali could sense that he was concerned. She sat down in a nearby seat on the plane and signaled for the people behind her to go ahead.

"What is it, sweetheart? Is something wrong?"

"Uh, well...I don't know. I don't want to get anyone in trouble." It had just dawned on Jake that maybe Ashlyn just forgot. He knew she would hear it from Ali if that was the case.

"It's ok, Jacob. You can tell me." Ali encouraged.

"It's just that Mom hasn't picked me up yet. I tried calling her but she hasn't answered. I don't know. Maybe she's picking up Lex or Sam."

"Call your Grandpa. He'll come get you. I'll track down your mom." Ali was about to hang up before she added, "You did the right thing calling me, Jacob. Thank you. I love you."

"Love you, too." Jake hung up and called his Grandpa.

...

Ali still couldn't track down her wife. She called the daycare and Sam had already been picked up by Ashlyn. She found out that Lex had been taken home by a teammate's mom and there wasn't anyone at their house.

Ali was starting to worry.

...

Ali's dad picked up Jake and found a very frustrated Lexi waiting at her friend's house. Lex was livid! She was ready to yell at anyone who would listen.

"Calm down, princess." This wasn't Ken's first time calming down his granddaughter. "I'm sure there's a reason your Mama is late. We have to have patience with each other. Remember?"

Lexi had been talked to about 'patience' a lot lately, but usually it involved impatience with her younger brother.

"What the?" Ken's attention was taken from his granddaughter in the back seat to an accident ahead.

The road was blocked and there were 2 ambulances parked in front of the vehicles involved. He waited calmly for an opportunity to open for him to get out of the traffic. He was making a left hand turn when he was able to see the accident more clearly. He saw what looked like a full sized black truck and a silver Jeep.

Just like the one his daughter-in-law drove.

Chapter Text

"What happened?" Ashlyn woke up in a hospital bed with restraints around her wrists.

"You don't remember?" Her father-in-law asked taking her hand.

"Why am I here? What happened? What's on my hands?" Ashlyn was panicking. She was jerking her upper body upwards trying to get out of bed but the restraints stopped her.

"What's happening?" Ashlyn asked Ken. Her fear consuming her.

"You were in a car accident. You're ok. You're restrained because you need to keep still."

"Where's Ali?" Ashlyn was afraid and needed her wife.

Her father-in-law took a deep breath and turned his head. He couldn't bare to look at Ashlyn. "She's with Sam."

"Sam?" Ashlyn whispered. Her voice shook with dread. "Is he...?"

"He's unconscious. You were in a car accident. Do you remember anything?" Ken asked again.

"No."
...

Both Sam and Ashlyn were unconscious when the ambulance arrived. The teenager driving the truck was killed on impact. Samuel was in his car seat in the back seat and the jolt of impact caused his head to go forward and then slam back into his seat.

Ashlyn woke up after a few hours in the hospital. She was covered in cuts and bruises. She freaked out. She fought off the nurses who were trying to help her and screamed for Ali. Due to her head injury they didn't give her a sedative to calm her down, all they could do was restrain her and give her pain medication.

"I need Ali." Ashlyn begged Ken. "Please." She didn't have the strength to give much volume to her words but the tone was still desperate.

"I'll see if she'll come."

Ken left and returned without Ali.

"She needs to be with Sam right now. I'm sure she'll be here soon." He took Ashlyn's hand and looked at her with pity.

Ashlyn couldn't understand why Ali wouldn't come.
...

Ali's Mom was with Jacob and Lex at their house. Jake begged for her to let him see Ashlyn and Sam. She told him she couldn't. She said he had to wait until things settled down. What he really had to wait for was for Sam to wake up. Ali didn't want her other children to see him like that.

Ali blamed Ashlyn for the accident even though no one really knew what happened. She couldn't understand why her wife didn't tell her she was having problems. She promised that she wouldn't hide it from her again.

Ali spoke to Ashlyn's doctor and found out that he warned her not to drive. He told her to get tests, but Ashlyn wouldn't listen. And now their baby was lying motionless in a hospital bed. Ali could forgive Ashlyn for just about everything. But she couldn't forgive her for this.

...

Ashlyn would have spent her time completely alone if it wasn't for Ken. He would go back and forth from Ashlyn's room to Sam's room trying to bring comfort to both Ali and Ash. His heart hurt for both of them, but there just aren't words that can bring comfort at a time like this.

On one of Ken's visits to Ashlyn's room he found a police officer there asking questions.

"Ma'am, are you stating you don't remember anything from the accident?" The officer asked. He was frustrated that she wasn't being of much help.

"I already told you that. I don't remember anything!" Ashlyn was getting worked up. Her hands were still cuffed to the bed and she felt like she was being treated like a criminal.

"You need to understand, ma'am. We take it very seriously when a minor is killed. Also the child in your vehicle was injured. We are just trying to find out the truth."

Ashlyn didn't know the truth. Everyone seemed to be treating her like she was the one to blame, and maybe she was. Her headaches were starting to come back. Maybe she had another seizure or passed out.

Ashlyn started to slam her head into the bed. She couldn't bare the thought of hurting her son or worse, ending a child's life. She couldn't live with that on her conscience. It just wouldn't be possible.

The officer grabbed Ashlyn by the shoulders. He was yelling at her to stop and to calm down. He never saw Jake coming.

Jacob jumped on top of the man and tackled him to the ground. He was yelling at him to stop hurting his mother. Ken pulled him off of the officer and tried to get him to calm down.

"It's ok, Jake. He wasn't hurting her."

The boy didn't waste time to apologize. He ran straight to Ashlyn and pulled her into a hug. He held her tight. If the officer or anyone wanted to get to her he would be a shield of protection.

"Young man." The officer wiped the little bit of blood from his cut lip. "You can't put your hands on a police officer. I can see you are upset. But I have to warn you that if you try something like that again you will be arrested."

Jake didn't acknowledge that the man was speaking to him. He stayed in his spot, covering Ashlyn with his own body.

"I'm sorry for my grandson." Ken offered. "Our family has been through a lot."

"I understand." The officer addressed Ashlyn one last time. "Ma'am, there's a traffic camera near where your accident took place. We're hoping to have this all sorted out soon."

Ashlyn didn't know whether that was good news or not. But she thanked him anyways.

"Thank you."

...

Ken took Jacob to Sam's room. He told him to stay outside and that he would have Ali talk to him. Ken wasn't sure his daughter would be happy to see her son there. Ali wanted to protect her kids from the horrible events of the accident.

"Alex, Jacob's here." Ali took in her Dad's words and was ready to fight. Ken saw it coming so he added more of an explanation. "He snuck out of the house and rode his bike here. You're Mom was helping Lexi with her reading."

"I don't want him here." Ali said. Her eyes never leaving Samuel.

"I know. I'm sorry. He found Ashlyn's room and saw her already."

At the mention of her wife's name Ali's eyes went cold. Ken noticed.

"Don't you want to know how she is?" He asked.

"When Sam is ok...then I'll talk to her."

"Alex, it's not her fault. She has a brain injury."

"She was told a million times not to push it. She was told moments before the accident not to drive. She was told to get checked out. She CHOSE to ignore all the warnings. And now Samuel is..." Ali couldn't finish.

"Ali, I know you're upset. But no one knows what happened. You're blaming her before you know the facts." Ali's resolve didn't budge.

Ken continued. "She's scared. And she needs you."

"She's gonna have to deal with this one alone." Ali's words were covered in anger.
...

Jacob was listening outside the door. He didn't know who's side to take in this situation. His grandpa was right, no one knew what really happened. But what if it was Ashlyn's fault. Sam is hurt and it could be all her fault.

Jake sat against the wall by the door and cried. He was scared his family was falling apart.

...

Ken got Ali to agree to talk to Ashlyn. He told her that now that Jake was around she needed to at least pretend to be concerned for his other parent. She reluctantly agreed.

Ashlyn was awoken by her wife turning on a very bright light over her head.

Ashlyn let out a cry of pain. She was on medication to help with her headaches but it didn't totally take them away.

Ash opened one eye. "Alex?"

She started sobbing.

"You're here." She had been longing for her wife since she woke up from the impact.

"What do you want?" Ali's tone was cold and hard. Ashlyn caught it right away.

"I want you." Ashlyn answered honestly.

Ali brought her face down close next to Ashlyn and said, "You put our baby in a coma. I don't even want to look at you. You PROMISED me you would be careful. You were reckless and now one child is dead and the other is unconscious. How can you live with yourself?" Ali stood up straight and walked out of the room.

Ashlyn couldn't live with herself. But that's all she had. Just her and her regret.

...

The next day Ashlyn's doctor thought she had calmed down enough to take off the restraints. He also told her that she was stable and could visit Sam's room, as long as she stayed in a wheelchair.

Ali didn't expect to see her. Both Ali and Jacob were sitting by Sam's bed when Ken wheeled Ashlyn in. Ken knew his daughter would be upset with him for bringing her without warning, but he didn't care. He didn't agree with the way Ali was treating her and he wanted to make that clear.

Ali stood up from her chair and moved it out of the way so Ashlyn could get close. Ali kept her distance from her wife but watched her carefully.

Ashlyn stood up from the chair and leaned over her smallest son. She took in the condition of his body and face. He didn't have a mark on him. It didn't make any sense to her.

She leaned down so that her face was inches from his. She let a single tear drop. It landed on the boy's cheek. She tried to wipe it off but many more fell in its place.

She whispered to her son. "Sam-Bam...I'm sorry."

She couldn't say another word. Her sobs wracked through her body and she fell on top of him. Ali helped Ken get her back to her wheelchair. Ali finally showed some mercy and placed a hand of support on her shoulder.

Ali bent down and softly told Ashlyn that it might be a good idea for her to leave. It wasn't out of anger that she said this. She was honestly worried for Ashlyn.

Ashlyn asked Jake to take her to the hospital chapel. She needed to ask for help and forgiveness. She knew that she might be able to find someone there that would be willing to rescue her and her family.

He pushed Ashlyn to the front and left her there to work out whatever she was struggling with. Jake sat in the back pew of the small room. He hoped that someone was listening.

...

Ashlyn asked Jake to take her back to her room. She was feeling pretty bad. Her doctor had done tests and given her medication but they were still in limbo with what really happened and with what was going on with her headaches.

Ashlyn's emotions were everywhere. She was afraid for Sam. She felt guilty about the accident. She didn't know if she was going to die because of whatever was happening in her head. And worst of all, she thought Ali hated her.

Her life was spiraling out of control.

...

Ashlyn spent another night alone with her thoughts. Jake begged Ali to let him sit with her but Ali told him he had to go home. She didn't want him to endure any more than he had too.

Ali was sitting next to Sam and had a feeling that she needed to go to her wife. She tried to shake it off but she just couldn't. Even though she was mad at her she still loved her and she still had an almost supernatural connection to her. She knew that Ash needed her and she was compelled to go to her. She tried to ignore the feeling but it just got stronger.

Ashlyn was sleeping when Ali approached her bed that night. She could see that Ash was dreaming. She seemed to be struggling with something in what looked to be more of a nightmare than a dream. Ali watched Ashlyn's face and body react to something that was causing her to be afraid.

Ali couldn't take it anymore.

"Ashlyn." She nudged her arm a little.

Ashlyn didn't respond. She was breathing heavy and moving restlessly.

"Ashlyn, sweetheart. It's ok. You're ok." Ali started to cry. She suddenly realized how terrible she had treated her wife. "Please baby, wake up. We'll get through this." Ali was sobbing, begging her to wake up.

Ashlyn heard her wife's cries. She immediately jumped into motion and wrapped Ali up in her arms. She let her weep into her chest.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Ali said over and over again.

Ashlyn didn't know what to say. She didn't think Ali had anything to be sorry for.

The women were interrupted by Ali's dad who was out of breath.

"Sam's awake!"

Chapter Text

Ali ran to Sam's room and Ken helped Ashlyn into a wheelchair. He pushed her quickly to see his grandson.

Ash and Ken arrived to see Ali holding Sam in her arms. He seemed perfectly fine. The doctor was there trying to talk to Ali but she was too focused on Sam to hear him.

The moment Sam saw Ashlyn he cried out to her. "Mama!"

Ali brought him to Ashlyn and placed him on her lap. Ashlyn couldn't speak. She was trying to hold back her own tears but his cries were making it hard for her to be strong.

"It's ok, Sam-Bam." Ashlyn rubbed his back. Ali put a hand behind Ashlyn's head to try and give her some emotional support.

"Mama, thank you. You save me."

"What was that?" Ashlyn didn't understand what her son was saying.

"The black truck hit us. You helped me with your arm." Ashlyn had no idea what he was talking about.

Ken spoke up. "The truck that hit you was black."

Ali looked at her father in shock. Did Sam really remember what happened?

Ali turned her attention to her son. "Samuel, do you remember what happened?"

"Yeah." The boy said. "Black truck hit us. Mama put her arm on my head and stopped the bad guys."

Ashlyn still felt confused but Ali put it together. Ashlyn didn't cause the accident. She was alert enough to reach back and block her son from the glass and other debris from the impact. That's why he didn't have any scratches or other wounds.

Who knows what may have happened if she didn't instinctively try to protect her son? Ashlyn was the only one in the room who didn't realize she was a hero.

...

The doctors cleared Samuel. He was fine. He had a concussion but once the swelling went down he was in perfect health. The entire family had gathered in Ashlyn's room waiting for the doctor to release her.

Sam was lying on the hospital bed with his Mama. He was playing with her bed. He pushed all of the buttons that made it change positions. He thought it was hilarious. Ashlyn didn't mind. Her son was ok. He could do anything right now and she'd be the happiest person in the world.

Jake was flipping through the channels on the room tv when the police officer he tackled a few days ago entered the room.

He immediately turned it off and stood up straight. He wanted to be on his best behavior after what he did. He didn't want to get arrested or anything.

"Mrs. Krieger-Harris, may I speak with you in private, please?" The officer asked.

Ashlyn froze. Jake wasn't the one that had to worry about being arrested, she was.

"Uhh...yeah." Ash answered.

Ali interjected. "I'm her wife. Would it be alright if I stayed in the room?" Ali gave Sam to her dad and then took Ashlyn's bruised and cut up hand.

"That'd be fine." He said with a tight smile.

Ken gathered all the kids and took them out of the room. The officer stopped him on his way out and gave Sam a high five. He said, "I'm glad you're ok, little guy." Sam smiled and they gave each other a thumbs up.

He turned back to the women who were anxious to hear what he had come to say.

"Mrs. Krieger-Harris..."

"Ashlyn." Ashlyn interrupted. "You can just call me Ashlyn."

"Ashlyn." He repeated. "Ashlyn, we were able to get custody of the video recording from the camera by where your accident happened. I'm sorry it took so long. We had to get a warrant for it. It ended up getting a little complicated."

Ashlyn really didn't care about all the details of how hard it was to get the footage. All she wanted to know was what was on the dang video.

"It's very clear based on the footage and the other driver's phone that he was texting someone at the time of impact. His truck swerved into your lane. You and your son are lucky to be alive."

Ali was silently crying as she clutched Ashlyn's hand and arm tightly.

"The Firefighters who cut you both out of your vehicle said that your arm was on top of your son. They said that a piece of metal went through the headrest of the front passenger seat and stuck out inches from your arm. In the video you can clearly see you blocking his head with your arm. I'm certain you saved his life."

Ashlyn was in shock. Not because she was brave, but because her son had come so close to death.

"I brought a picture of the headrest to show you. Officers at the scene took pictures for evidence. It's really quite amazing. I've never seen anything like it."

Ashlyn took the picture in her hand and couldn't believe that what the man said was true.

He continued. "I just wanted to apologize. I know I didn't treat you the best. I'm sorry. You deserved a lot better than my accusations."

"It's fine." Ash answered. She still couldn't believe it.

The man shook her hand and said good-bye.

Ali knew the rest of the family would want some kind of answers but she wasn't ready to invite them back in.

"Ashlyn." Ali squeezed Ashlyn's hand and got her to focus on her instead of the miraculous events the police officer just shared.

"What?"

"I just wanted to say..." Ali looked like she was gonna throw up. "...I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for how I treated you. I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so, so sorry." Ali put her head in her hands trying to block her wife from seeing her tears.

Ashlyn grabbed Ali by the back of the neck and pulled her gently to her.

"We've cried too many tears lately." Ashlyn wiped Ali's eyes. "I hated myself too. I don't blame you."

"But Ashlyn, I should've known that you would never hurt anyone, especially our son."

"It's ok, Ali. Let's just try to leave all this behind us. It hurts too much to dwell on our mistakes. I made a lot of my own too. I'm just glad we could all wake up from this nightmare."
...

After being released from the hospital, Ashlyn had one more nightmare to face.

She had to say good-bye to her beloved Jeep.

Ashlyn decided to take Jake along to get all of their useable stuff out of the Jeep. She didn't think Ali would be able to take it, due to how close her and Sam came to death. There wasn't much that was salvageable.

She showed Jake the piece of metal that the officer told her and Ali about. They both marveled at the fact that Sam was ok. It truly was a miracle.

When the two got home Ali made sure to check on them. She was worried it would be too much for either of them. But they both seemed fine.

After a week of the family having to squeeze into Ali's car, Ali decided to let Ashlyn go car shopping. She originally wanted to wait until the insurance money came in but 2 car seats and 3 normal sized people don't have as much room in a sedan as they do in an SUV. Ali was tired of the complaining from her wife and the bickering between her children.

Ashlyn picked out the exact same Jeep she already had. The only difference was it was a newer model.

She said she missed her old Jeep but the new one was like Neosporin and it helped to heal the scars of her wounded heart.

Ali humored her but shook her head at how ridiculous her wife's love affairs with her cars were.

Chapter Text

It was always the same. Every night since Ashlyn found out the details of her recent car accident she would relive the events in her sleep. Ali would wake her up and gently bring her back to reality.

It would start with Ashlyn seeing the truck drive straight at them. She would try to veer the vehicle out of the way but the steering wheel was too heavy to turn. She would turn her head as the impact came in slow motion. She tried to block Sam from being impaled by a sharp piece of metal, but in her dream she could never get to him fast enough.

That is usually how the dream ended. It would play over and over in her head until Ali would notice that she was struggling and would calm her down. Ashlyn's doctor said the dreams were caused by the trauma as well as the medication Ashlyn was taking to control the symptoms of her headaches. It was a very scary time for both Ashlyn and Ali.

...

"NO!" Ashlyn screamed in her sleep.

Ali woke up immediately and started stroking Ashlyn's still bruised and battered arm. "Baby, it's ok. Shhh...It's ok."

Ashlyn sat up, took a deep gasp of air, and opened her eyes wide.

Ali sat behind her and pulled her down on top of her. She held her and whispered encouragement in her ear. "It's ok. Sam is ok. You're ok. Our family is safe."

Ali would wait for her to to calm and feel for her breath to even out before she would ask if Ash wanted to talk about it. Sometimes she felt better after sharing the details and sometimes she wasn't up to it.

"Ashlyn, was it the same dream?" Ali asked and placed a kiss on her wife's ear.

"Yeah." Ashlyn turned in her wife's arms and laid facedown against Ali's chest. She turned her head so that her wife could hear her. "I still couldn't save him."

"Sweetheart, it was just a dream. Sammy is ok. You did save him."

"I know. I wish I could convince my brain of that. The nightmare just won't go away."

"It'll get better. Just try to get some rest. I'm right here." Ali said.

She wanted Ashlyn to know that she would do everything she could to make sure she wasn't afraid. She would keep watch. Even in her nightmares, Ali would make sure she was safe.

...

Ashlyn woke up, still held tight in her wife's arms. It wasn't just her and her wife anymore, though. The whole family had joined them in bed. Lex and Sam were watching Curious George on Ali's laptop and Jake was sitting against the headboard next to Ali. He had his shoulder leaning against hers'. He was watching Ashlyn sleep while his siblings were watching George. He was very protective of his entire family. At the moment he didn't particularly like the fact that his little brother was sitting right on top of Ashlyn's lower back. But since Ali didn't seem to mind, he didn't say anything about it.

Sam's drumming on Ashlyn's butt is what woke her up. He wasn't doing it hard so Ali didn't really notice it. She would have put a stop to it right away if she saw his little hands' rhythmically tapping on her sleeping wife.

Ashlyn began to stir but felt her son's weight on top of her. She knew it was Sam. She didn't have to look.

Ali was familiar with the usual wake-up drill. She often times had to remove her youngest child from Ashlyn's frame. Sam was oblivious half the time, especially when his attention was elsewhere.

"Jacob, will you please move your brother so your mom can move?" Ali asked.

Jake was happy to oblige. He didn't like that he was sitting on her in the first place. Samuel decided his brother moved him so that he could climb on his back and play with his big brother.

Ashlyn sat up next to her wife and son. She put her arm around Ali's waist and leaned her head on her shoulder. To Ashlyn, this was the perfect way to wake up. Everything felt peaceful and filled with love. Her entire family being gathered around her brought her back to reality. And her reality was pretty great.

...

Ali missed the next Spirit away game. She knew that being with her family was more important. Ashlyn felt terrible about it. She had already missed their game against Houston because of the accident. Ali never even left the airport. When she got the call from her dad she was on the next plane back home. Ashlyn tried to talk her out of missing another game. The team was fighting for a playoff spot and needed their captain. Ali knew her family needed her more. There was no debate. Ali stayed home.

Ali told the kids they could skip their activities for Ashlyn and Sam's first week home. She told them it was their choice. She personally couldn't bear to be away from either Ash or Sam and wanted to give her children the same opportunity to stay close too.

It had been almost two weeks since the accident and Ali was still drowning in guilt over how she treated her wife. No one else had blamed her for her few moments of bitterness. No one else except for Ali.

Ali kept a close eye on Ashlyn. She figured the best way to get over her guilt was to lay on the love extra thick. She flat out spoiled her. At first Ashlyn absolutely loved it. Ali was very good at doing things, both great and small, to show love to her family. Ashlyn had her favorite food, went on a shopping spree at her favorite stores. Ali bought her a new watch. She got her new Jeep detailed (even though it didn't need it). Ali massaged every part of Ashlyn's body, which Ash didn't mind at all. She was constantly fussing over her and making sure she had everything she wanted.

Ashlyn finally decided enough was enough. She didn't want to hurt Ali's feelings but she knew her wife's motivation was from a place of guilt and Ashlyn couldn't live with that.

"Hey Al, can I talk to you for a minute?" Ash and Ali were outside watching the kids play. They were running through the sprinklers with Monster and trying to run through fast enough to keep them from getting wet. They were soaked.

"Yeah, of course. What's up?" Ali gave Ashlyn her full attention. She was worried that maybe Ashlyn was gonna tell her she was sick or her head was bothering her.

"I just feel like you need to forgive yourself."

"What?" Ali knew immediately what Ashlyn was talking about. She hadn't been able to forget the way she treated her wife at the hospital. It ate away at her constantly.

"You know 'what.' " Ashlyn wasn't gonna let Ali get out of talking about the elephant in the room.

Ali put her head down. She felt so ashamed. "I can't." is all Ali could say.

"Alex, you can't blame yourself for that shit. It is too heavy for any of us to carry." Ashlyn knew that her wife had to deal with more than she did on that day. She couldn't even imagine what she must have felt. Imagine hearing from your dad that your wife and son were in an accident and unconscious, while you were thousands of miles away. It really was too much.

"I should have never treated you that way!" Ali was about to lose it.

Ashlyn subtly looked to her kids to remind her wife that she needed to hold it together in front of them.

"Listen, Alex. All the evidence stacked up against me. I wish it could have been different but with Sam injured I don't know that I would have responded any better. All we can do is just let it go. I forgive you. Now you need to forgive you." Ashlyn was dead serious.

"I know. It's just hard. I love you so much and I treated you like you were some horrible person. And you're not!" Ali acted as if she had to convince Ashlyn to be more upset with her.

"Babe. For real. We can't live like this. I love all of the wonderful things you do for me, but you're doing it because you feel like you owe me something. Like you owe me a debt, or something. That's not us. We don't keep a record of wrongs." Ashlyn smiled. "If we did I would be in trouble."

Ali laughed. "No you wouldn't. You're wonderful."

"Ali, I've made a lot of mistakes, too. We're equals. We always approach things that way. I can't have you feeling like you're not enough. You're everything." Ashlyn pulled Ali out of the chair she was occupying and onto her lap. She wrapped her up in her arms and let her lie back and rest on top of her.

"Can I just say one thing?" Ali asked.

"Of course."

"I was so scared. I didn't want to face losing you. It was easier for me to be mad at you and avoid you than to accept that you were in pain and maybe really sick again. I kept having flashbacks of when you had your surgery. Ashlyn, I was so scared. I'm not strong enough to face that again."

Ashlyn tightened her embrace. "I hope you never have to go through that again. But I promise you, you're strong enough to face anything. You don't have to be scared."

"Ashlyn, you don't understand what it was like. I was watching you die. That's what the doctor said. You were going to die, without the surgery. And the odds were high that you might die during the surgery too. It was the worst experience of my life!"

"Ok, so maybe it's ok to be scared sometimes, but you're still strong enough. No matter what happens, Alex. You're the strongest person I know." Ashlyn meant every word.

"I'm only strong because of you. I can't imagine facing one day without you." Ali adjusted her position so that her head could find it's usual spot on Ashlyn's shoulder. She leaned further into the crook of her wife's neck and pressed her lips against her skin. Ashlyn closed her eyes and took in the scent and touch of her wife. She placed several kisses in her hair.

"I'm here, Alex. I will always be here."

Chapter Text

FLASHBACK

"ASHLYN!" Ali sprinted towards her girlfriend. She couldn't believe her eyes. Ashlyn was supposed to be in New York, but instead she was at her doorstep in Germany.

"Hey babe!" Ashlyn tried to maintain a cool demeanor on the outside but she was even more excited than Ali.

"What are you doing here?" Ali smashed their two bodies together and mumbled her question from a passionate kiss.

"It's your birthday. Where else would I be?" Ashlyn picked Ali up and carried her to her bedroom. She laid her down on her bed and covered her body with her own.

"Ashlyn," Ali struggled to speak between kisses. "How? It's too much?" Ali was already out of breath and Ashlyn was in no mood to give her a chance to catch it.

Ashlyn gave her a little space and finally answered Ali. "This needs to go." She said as she balled up the fabric in the front of Ali's shirt.

That wasn't what Ali expected as a reply but she wasn't gonna mince words at a time like this.

Ali sat up and let Ashlyn remove her shirt. Ash had always been an over achiever when it came to her girlfriend so she also removed her bra.

She then laid her back down and put one of Ali's nipples in her mouth. Ali felt on fire. She burned for more of Ashlyn.

Her girlfriend continued her journey down to the waist of Ali's pants and finally took a break from all her hard work.

"Why, Alex? Too many buttons." Ali's jeans had a button fly instead of a good old fashioned zipper. Too much work, Ashlyn thought.

"Take em off, NOW!" Ashlyn ordered.

Ali tried to unbutton them but her hands were shaking. She bucked her hips up towards Ashlyn as if begging her for help.

Ashlyn quickly took over the task and yanked the denim off of her. All the movement pulled Ali farther down the bed and gave Ashlyn an idea.

She raised her body off of Ali and gave her one last hard kiss. She took in Ali's naked upper body and smirked at her girlfriend. She stared long and hard into Ali's eyes waiting for her to beg her to finish what she started.

"Please, baby..." Ali moaned.

That was all Ashlyn needed to hear. She stepped off the bed, confusing Ali. Ash went to the foot of the bed where Ali's feet were slightly hanging off of.

Ashlyn knelt down so that her head was just above the top of the mattress. She positioned herself perfectly for her next move.

Ashlyn pulled Ali by the thighs towards her. She pulled her right up to the edge of the bed. Ashlyn popped her head up so that Ali could get a good look at her before Ashlyn planned to make her see stars.

"These need to come off, too." She said with two fingers laid flat on the inside of Ali's lace panties.

"Take em off!" This time it was Ali doing the ordering.

Ashlyn gave her a cocky grin and stood up. She grabbed the elastic of the underwear and slowly pulled down. She pulled them to Ali's mid thigh and stopped. She looked up. Ali was ready to die. She needed Ashlyn now!

"Ashlyn, I swear to God..."

Ash pulled them down to her knees and gave a quick kiss to the inside of Ali's right thigh. And then looked up.

Ali was coming undone and it wasn't even time for the main event.

Ashlyn finished the tedious job of undressing her very frustrated girlfriend and pulled her even lower towards the edge of the bed.

Ash got back down on her knees and made a trail of kisses starting from her knee all the way up to where Ali had been longing for her the most. Once Ashlyn finally arrived at her desired destination Ali went wild!

...

The two women had been dating for 6 months. They knew that they were it for each other. They waited far too long to waste anymore time.

"Baby, you never explained why you're here. Don't get me wrong I'm glad you're here I'm just shocked." Ali was playing with Ashlyn's hair as she laid on her stomach.

"I told you it's your birthday. That's why I'm here."

"But it's too expensive!" Ali was always worried about Ashlyn spending too much on her. She loved it, but she knew Ash was on a tight budget. It was one of the many things she sacrificed to play the game she loved.

Ali tried to talk her into playing for a team in Germany where she would make more money and be closer to her but Ash always said she didn't feel right being so far away from family. She knew that family was important to her so she didn't push the issue.

"It's not too expensive... I've been saving up for this trip before we even started dating."

"What?" Ali couldn't understand why Ashlyn would do that.

"I wanted to visit you ever since you moved out here, but you iced me out, man. So I held off the trip."

"Are you kidding me? You've planned this for 2 years."

"Almost." Ash answered.

"Aww" Ali was smitten. And then she remembered what else Ashlyn had said. "Hey!" Ali smacked her girlfriend's arm. "I didn't ice you out. I was going through stuff."

"Well, most people who 'go through stuff' go through it with their best friend. I'm just say'n."

"Can we please change the subject or are you trying to make me cry on my birthday?" Ali never meant to hurt Ashlyn and this conversation was not making her feel good about herself.

"Yes we can change the subject and also," Ash raised her head up so she could get Ali's reaction. "Your birthday isn't for another 2 days so I can be as mean to you as I want."

Ashlyn didn't wait for a response. She bolted out of the room knowing her girlfriend wasn't gonna let her get away with giving her a hard time.

Ali ended up tackling Ashlyn, making her fall hard on the floor. Ashlyn let out a little yell but then continued through the apartment trying to keep away from Ali.

...

The next day was all planned out by Ashlyn. She told Ali that she had a surprise for her and that she wasn't allowed to ask any questions until the time was right.

"How will I know when the time is right?" Ali asked.

"You'll just know." Ashlyn gave Ali an unsatisfactory answer in Ali's opinion

"Babe, check out my butt." Ash yelled from the bathroom.

"Ashlyn, I don't want to play any gross fart games with you, right now." Ali ignored Ashlyn's request and stayed right where she was.

"Babe, I'm serious."

No response from Ali.

"I come all the way to Germany and you can't even walk a few feet to the bathroom?" Ashlyn had walked out to the bed where Ali was sitting and gave her a stern look.

Ali just smiled up at her girlfriend.

"Fine." Ash said and turned around and mooned her girlfriend.

"What in the world, Ashlyn? How old are you?"

"Shut up! I'm trying to show you something." Sure enough on Ashlyn's right hipbone was a huge nasty bruise. "It's from when you tackled me yesterday."

"Ashlyn, I'm so sorry! Are you ok?" Ali finally gave Ash the attention she was looking for. She sprang up from the bed and took a closer look.

"Does it hurt?" Ali asked as she grazed her finger over it to see how big the bump was.

"Nah, not too much." Ashlyn really didn't care. She was still on an emotional high because she was finally close to her love. And she was excited about all she had planned for Ali's birthday.

"You about ready, woman?" Ash asked.

"I've been ready. I can't wait to get my birthday present."

"Who said I got you anything? I'm here. That's all the present you need, cougar."

"Stop it with that 'cougar' stuff. And I know you got me something. So don't try to play it off." Ali thought she was so smart.

...

Ashlyn drove Ali's car for THREE long hours. Ali was getting frustrated. Where in the world was Ashlyn taking her?

"What the heck, Ash? I don't mean to be a bad sport but where are we going? This is taking forever!" Ali was getting impatient in her old age.

"Babe, forever is if I were driving you to New York. This is nothing. Have patience, princess."

Ali let out a long and frustrated sigh. She just had to trust Ashlyn.

...

Ashlyn finally pulled up to an old looking brick building that Ali had never seen before. Ash hurried to open the door for her beautiful and confused girlfriend.

The two women walked into the building hand in hand. Ali noticed that Ashlyn couldn't keep from smiling.

Ali wondered what in the world Ashlyn had planned.

Ashlyn gave the name of the man she was there to see to the woman at the front desk. The receptionist made a quick call and told them to have a seat.

A kind looking man greeted the woman a few minutes later. "Ashlyn, finally we get to meet in person."

Ali was more confused than ever.

"Hello, sir. Thank you for seeing me today." Ashlyn said.

"Come on back and we can get everything taken care of."

Ali followed Ashlyn as Ash followed the man. She pulled on Ash's arm. "Is it time for me to ask questions yet because this is weird."

"No." Ash couldn't help but smile as she saw the confusion on her girlfriend's face.

"Go ahead and have a seat." The man brought them to a room with a long table inside. He pulled out a folder and gave it to Ashlyn. "Everything is just as we talked about."

"Great!" Ashlyn said. "Do you have a pen?"

The man handed her a pen and she signed several pages and then slid the closed folder back to the man.

The man smiled and stood up. He held out his hand for Ashlyn to shake.

"Welcome to Duisburg!"

Ashlyn smiled and then looked at her very shocked girlfriend.

"Did he just say?" Ali was stunned. "You..." She pointed at Ash but couldn't finish her thought.

"I'm moving to Germany, Alex. I'm playing for Duisburg!"

Ali jumped out of her seat and into Ashlyn's arms. She couldn't believe it. All she ever wanted was to have Ashlyn nearby.

"What about your family?" Ali asked.

"Alex, you're my family now."

...

Ali was on cloud 9. Having Ashlyn play in Germany was more than she ever could have expected.

"How long did you have this planned?" Ali asked.

"My agent has been working on it since January. I told him I was willing to play anywhere if it meant I could be close to you. I was shocked that Duisburg actually wanted me." Ash smiled. "No joke. They're gonna pay me and everything." Ashlyn started laughing.

"Why wouldn't they want you, Ash? You're great!"

"Well, I really would've played for free if it meant I could be here with you. I couldn't take the distance anymore."

Ali leaned in to kiss her amazing girlfriend.

"I feel like our life together is just starting, you know? Finally we can be together!" Ali couldn't contain her happiness. Ashlyn held her tight when she heard Ali say, "Best birthday present ever!"

Ash smiled and answered her, "Who said this was your birthday present?"

"You got me something else?" Ali asked.

"I guess you're gonna have to wait and see."

...

The next day was Ali's birthday. Ashlyn greeted her with her favorite breakfast in bed and a foot massage to start the day.

"I wrote you a poem, babe."

Ali was touched...and then Ash started speaking.

"Ali, oh Ali. What do you know?
I just moved here from uh Buffalo.
I think you're hot. I think you're great.
Won't you let me take you on uh date?"

The end.

"That was the worst poem I've ever heard." Ali said.

Ashlyn just laughed. She actually had just made it up on the spot. She wanted to make Ali smile.

"You're such a goof! I thought you were serious." Ali threw a piece of her toast at Ashlyn.

"Sorry, babe. I guess my romance tank is on empty today. Hopefully you'll still have a good birthday."

Ali couldn't believe she was going to get to see her favorite dork on a more regular basis.

...

Ashlyn took Ali shopping for shoes and jewelry. Ali was in heaven. Ashlyn took her to get a mani and pedi. She got them both massages and took Ali to her favorite restaurant for dinner.

The next stop on the Ali birthday train was to take a hot air balloon ride. Ashlyn timed it perfectly. They had just enough time to make it up with a few minutes to spare before the sun started setting.

As the sun began to drop Ashlyn noticed goosebumps on Ali's exposed skin. Ash put her arms around Ali to transfer some of her body heat to Ali.

Ashlyn waited until the absolute perfect moment. She removed her arms from around Ali and knelt down to tie her shoe.

"Baby, hurry up. You need to see this sunset." Ashlyn was taking too long in Ali's opinion.

"Seriously, sweetheart. Stand up!" Ali bent down to pull Ashlyn up by her arms.

"Hold on." Ashlyn struggled against Ali's efforts.

"Seriously, Ash. Leave your stupid shoe alone and come look at this. It's so beautiful." Ali continued to tug on her girlfriend.

"Alex.." Ashlyn was cut off by Ali's pulling on her arm.

"Stop it, you idiot. I'm trying to propose to you!" Ashlyn freed herself from Ali's grip and watched her girlfriend look at her in shock.

"What?"

"Alex...I'm gonna need you to shut that beautiful mouth of yours for just a minute."

"Ok."

Ashlyn took in a deep, shaky breath.

"Alex, you are the only good thing that has ever happened to me. You are my life. I never even knew what happiness was before I met you. I knew that day that I saw you for the first time, that you were it for me. We have spent too long apart and I just can't do it anymore. You're my life. You are my family."

Ashlyn took a breath and looked down. She looked back up at the love of her life.

She said with a shy and nervous smile on her face.

"Alexandra, my angel...Will you marry me?"

Ali pulled Ashlyn up and was completely unable to put any words together. She cried into Ashlyn's shoulder and shook her head 'yes' as hard as she could.

After a few moments she pulled back and said, "Yes, I'll marry you!"

The two shared a long kiss as they floated with the clouds in the hot air balloon. With the sunset as their backdrop everything was perfect.

Their perfect moment was interrupted by Ashlyn.

"Oh shoot! I completely forgot!" Ashlyn went digging in her pocket.

She pulled out a princess cut diamond ring.

"Ash, it's beautiful." Ali couldn't take her eyes off of it.

"Give me your hand." Ashlyn slowly placed the ring on her fiancé's finger.

"Ashlyn, seriously. It's so beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you."

...

Ashlyn had one more surprise for Ali, well...technically two.

When the women finally made it back to Ali's apartment Ashlyn took her time making it to Ali's front door.

When Ali opened the door she was surprised to see her apartment filled with her teammates. They had decorated with streamers, balloons and happy birthday banners.

Ashlyn didn't tell them that she was proposing, she just told them to be there for a surprise birthday party.

"Ashlyn, did you do this?" Ali asked.

"I had a little help." Ashlyn showed Ali her final birthday present. "I knew you would want him here."

Ashlyn had flown out Ali's brother, Kyle.

"Hey girl!" Kyle scooped up his sister in to a big hug.

For the millionth time that day Ali was shedding happy tears. She held on to her brother for a long meaningful moment and then finally brought her left hand up for her brother to see.

"She finally did it!" Kyle exclaimed.

"You knew?" Ali asked Kyle.

Ashlyn answered for him. "I asked both him and your dad's permission last month."

"You did?" The fact that Ash included Kyle in her planning meant the world to Ali.

"Let me see that ring again." Kyle grabbed Ali's hand and stared at it in amazement.

"She forgot to give it to me at first." Ali informed her brother.

"I did not!" Ash defended. "I was just making sure you wanted to marry me for me and not the shiny diamond in front of you."

"Yeah right, baby. Whatever you say." Ali leaned into her fiancé and gave her a kiss.

"I wanted to make sure you chose me for me and not just for the bling." Ash said.

"Wow, you really are a poet." Ali said as she rolled her eyes.

"Did that rhyme?" Ash asked.

Ali just laughed at her clueless fiancé. She couldn't be happier.

"Ash, I will always choose you. Every single time."

"You promise?" Ash asked.

"I promise."

Chapter Text

Ali had just finished up working in the garden with Lex. The two of them had handfuls of tomatoes and cucumbers.

Sam had his own cherry tomato plant but there were never any tomatoes because he would eat them right off the vine. His parents tried to encourage him to at least wash them first but he wasn't the best listener.

"Look at all the yummy vegetables we picked." Ali said to Jake and Sam.

"When you can grow pizza, then I'll be impressed." Jacob joked. He never had to eat vegetables before he came to the Krieger-Harris household and he was still getting used to the idea.

"Well, for your information, teenager, tomatoes are 1/3 the ingredients for pizza. So..." Ali paused for effect." "Take that!" Ali set her son straight and then gave him a kiss on the top of the head while he continued to play his xbox.

Jake just smiled to himself. He loved his mom. And he really loved his family.

"Where's your mom?" Ali asked.

"She's laying down. She said the game was too loud. I told her I would turn it down but she said not to worry about it." Jacob answered.

Ali put the veggies in the kitchen and decided to check on her wife.

Their bedroom was completely dark. Ashlyn was on her stomach and had her head under her pillow. Ali knew she must not be feeling well. She sat down on the side of the bed next to her and rubbed her back up and down. She didn't want to wake her if she was asleep.

Ashlyn must have been at least partially awake because she rolled over to her back, keeping the pillow against her head, and felt for Ali's hand.

"Is it your head, baby?" Ali whispered.

"Yeah." Ash whispered even quieter back.

"Do we need to go to the hospital?"

"No. It's just a bad headache."

All Ali could do was trust that her wife could tell the difference between a bad headache and something worse.

"What can I do to help?" Ali asked.

Ashlyn didn't answer with words. She pulled Ali down gently by the hand she was holding and Ali carefully took her usual spot. She placed her head on Ashlyn's shoulder and snuggled up close to her. She hugged her waist with one arm and laid kisses on Ashlyn's neck.

Ashlyn finally was able to fall asleep.

...

After an hour of being unsupervised Sam and Lex were fighting and were making it difficult for Jake to concentrate on his game. He decided to look for his parents.

He knocked lightly on the door and waited to hear Ali quietly welcome him in. He opened the door to find Ali awake but their usual roles reversed. Ashlyn had moved to her shoulder now.

Ali put a finger up to her lips to signal for him to be quiet. She motioned for him to come sit next to her on the bed.

"Is she ok?" Jake whispered.

"Yeah, I think so. But we'll get her checked out tomorrow just to be sure." Ali answered.

Ali noticed that Jacob looked off. He's normally a young man of few words, so she was learning to ask questions to pull information out of him. It was rare for him to ever volunteer anything on his own.

"Are you ok? You look worried." Ali said.

"I don't know." Jacob shrugged.

"The doctor said that she would keep having headaches for a while. We just need to be cautious and keep an eye on it. Your mama has been extra careful. If she was more worried we would be at the hospital, right now." Ali put a hand on her son's leg and squeezed. "She's gonna be ok."

"I hope so." His heart didn't seem comforted by Ali's words.

...

Ashlyn and Ali did get an appointment the following day and the doctor said the headaches were from her brain injury and the jolt of her accident made it worse. He told them to be careful and make sure Ash didn't do anything too active that could cause further injury. But overall he didn't seem worried about her symptoms. He told them it was just going to take time and 'hopefully' the severity of the symptoms would go away.

They were happy to hear that she wasn't in danger of dying at the moment, but he wasn't very optimistic about her head problems going away anytime soon, if ever.

This did not bode well for Ashlyn's future as a soccer player.

...

The two women had to pick up their kids on the way home from Ashlyn's appointment.

"Are you ok?" Ali asked. She was watching her wife drive with a very contemplative look on her face.

"Huh? What?" Ash had no idea what her wife asked.

Ali put a hand on Ashlyn's thigh and asked, "I asked if you're ok?"

"Uh, yeah." Ash answered.

Ali didn't seem convinced. After a moment's hesitation Ashlyn followed up her statement.

"I'm not dying. So...that's good." Ashlyn gave her wife a forced smile.

Ali saw right through her.

"Baby, give it some time before you start thinking the worst."

"I know."

...

"Hey Al, can I run something by you real quick?" Ashlyn had been thinking a lot about her accident lately.

"Of course." Ali put down the knife she was using to cut up cucumbers.

"Well, I was thinking about that boy who hit us. I wondered if we should contact his parents."

"You mean to like...sue them?" Ali couldn't imagine why Ash would want to talk to them. That boy almost killed half their family.

"No, I mean" Ashlyn was struggling to find the right words. "To reach out to them. They lost their son. I just feel bad, I guess."

"Ashlyn, I don't really think that's appropriate. Besides he almost killed you and Sam. I'm not sure I could look his mother in the eye and have any sympathy."

"You don't mean that." Ashlyn couldn't believe Ali could be so heartless.

"I do mean that. That boy drove straight into you. A piece of metal came inches from Samuel's head. If you wouldn't have kept his head from going all the way forward our son would be dead!"

"But he's not!"

"What?" Ali didn't understand why Ashlyn was getting so defensive.

"OUR son. He's not dead. He's alive. He's happy. He's perfectly healthy. THEIR son, who was only a couple years older than Jake, made a mistake. And now he's dead."

Ashlyn was right and Ali knew it.

"I'm sorry. You're right. But what could we possibly do?" Ali asked.

"I don't know. I was hoping you'd have an idea."

"I guess we could send flowers." Ali thought out loud.

"That's a start."

...

Ashlyn and Ali walked up to the front door of a run down apartment in a bad part of town. Ash nervously knocked twice. She held a flower pot with colorful daisies in her hands. Ali could see her wife was very anxious.

The women were able to find the address to the boy's house on the police report from the accident. They received a copy from the police for insurance purposes.

"Sweetheart, we don't have to do this." Ali said, but before Ashlyn could answer, a woman about their age opened the door.

"Hello."

"Hi." Ashlyn's voice was shaking. Ali was about to step in but Ashlyn gave her hand a squeeze.

"I don't know if you know me, but..."

The woman cut her off. "I remember you." The woman's face was covered in grief and guilt. "I saw the firefighters remove you from your car. I recognize your tattoos." She pointed at Ashlyn's arm.

Ashlyn looked down at her arm. She still had cuts and bruises from the accident. "Oh, yeah."

"I'm so sorry." The woman moved to hide her face behind the doorframe where she was standing. She poked her head back out. "Is the child ok?"

This time Ali spoke, "Yes, he's fine. His name is Sam." For some reason Ali thought she would want to know his name.

"My son's name was James. He was all I had in this world. I had him when I was a kid. Everyone told me I threw away my future. He became my future. And now..." Ali stepped toward her and took her into her arms. She held her while the woman sobbed.

Ashlyn cleared her throat after the woman had calmed down. Ali was still holding her. Ali could never stand by and watch someone suffer.

"I, um, I don't really know what to say. I just wanted to give you these flowers and let you know how sorry we are for your loss. I wish there was something we could do. And um..."

Ashlyn sniffed back some tears that were threatening to spill. "I just wanted to say that I forgive him. It was a terrible accident. I know he was probably a good kid and he didn't deserve what happened. And neither do you."

Ashlyn released the woman from her guilt.

"And, um...would you like to come to dinner with us sometime? Maybe after everything calms down?"

Ali didn't know Ash was gonna say all that. She was truly speechless.

"Maybe."

"I wrote our number on the card. I just thought that maybe you wouldn't want to go through this alone. Of course, I understand if you'd rather stay away from us too." Ashlyn was starting to ramble. Ali put an arm around Ash's waist and signaled that this might be a good time for them to go.

"Ok well...bye." Ash turned to leave and then stopped suddenly. She turned around and handed the flowers to the woman. "Sorry. I almost forgot."

Ash and Ali made it to Ali's car and Ash looked like she wished she never would have visited the woman.

"What's wrong, Ash?"

"I must've sounded so stupid. I didn't know what to say. Why did I ever want to do this in the first place?" Ashlyn was sure she made a fool of herself and possibly made things worse for the grieving mother.

"Sweetheart, you were perfect. You may not have said everything exactly right but believe me your heart came through perfectly. She needed to hear what you had to say and I'm proud of you for saying it."

Ali was beyond proud. She was amazed. Ashlyn had been through so much and she was looking to help someone else in their time of need. Her wife deserved the very best this world had to offer. It wasn't fair the amount of suffering that she has had to endure.

But then again, Ali knew that it was the pain that made her who she was. And she was truly great.

Chapter Text

FLASHBACK

"Aw, Baby." Ali had seen her fiancé for the first time since Ashlyn visited her for her birthday proposal. This time the visit wasn't a surprise and Ali was waiting for her at the airport.

Ashlyn needed to set up her new apartment and start rehab for her shoulder. She had recently gotten surgery and her shoulder and arm were in a big brace keeping them immobile. Ali knew the plane ride must've been miserable for Ashlyn.

"Hey." Ash greeted Ali with a one armed hug. She sounded tired.

"Hey, love." Ali gave her a kiss and grabbed her bag.

...

"So you're gonna be staying here for a couple days while we get you all set up." Ali had been taking care of most of the details for her fiancé. It was just easier that way. Ali was better at that kind of stuff and occasionally her ability to speak German was necessary.

"Let's see, I've got a new recliner for you, since you can't lay down after the surgery. Hopefully you'll be able to get some sleep."

Ali showed her the new piece of furniture and told her to try and get some rest while she was gone.

"I already called in your prescription and will pick it up at the pharmacy down the street. I'll get it on the way back from practice. I won't be gone long."

Ali wished she had the whole day off but unfortunately she had team responsibilities. She brought Ashlyn some snacks and a mini cooler with ice and a few bottles of water. She put the tv remote and her laptop within reach of her fiancé. She didn't want Ashlyn to worry about a thing. What she really wanted and hoped for was that Ash would be able to sleep the whole time she was gone.

"You can sleep or watch tv or whatever while I'm gone. Just please don't hurt yourself. I love you." Ali gave her a kiss.

"Love you, too. Thanks." Ashlyn wished she could have carried Ali into the bedroom to greet and thank her properly but she was restricted to one armed hugs, at the moment.

Ali hated leaving her but knew it would only be for a few hours. Ali also felt great knowing she was finally in Germany to stay. She couldn't ask for more.

...

Ashlyn did end up falling asleep but during her nap she rolled onto her injured shoulder. She woke up in terrible pain. She tried to blink away the tears in her eyes, but the pain caused them to keep coming.

Once she caught her breath she checked her phone and saw Ali was gonna be away for at least another hour. She remembered Ali told her that the pharmacy with her pain medication was down the street. She didn't know which way down the street or how far, but it gave her something to do to take her mind off of her discomfort.

Ashlyn ventured out on the streets of her new home country and realized pretty quickly that she might be in over her head. She came across a pharmacy and tried to find out if it was the right one but the woman behind the counter didn't speak English.

Ashlyn had no choice but to go back to Ali's apartment. She was frustrated and hurting. When she got to Ali's door she realized she locked herself out. Everything seemed to be going wrong for her.

She sat against the door waiting for her future wife to return, and questioned if she had made the right decision. She didn't know the language, her friends and family were so far away, and she can't even buy medication on her own. Not to mention Ali's front door seemed to be plotting against her too.

All she could do was cry and wait for Ali to come home.

...

Ali took a quick shower after practice. She was in a hurry to check on Ashlyn. She still needed to stop at the pharmacy and also pick up something to eat.

Ali returned home with a bag of carry-out Chinese food and Ash's prescription. She dropped both bags when she saw Ash lying on the ground in front of her door.

"Ash, are you ok?" Ali pulled Ash up to a sitting position.

"Ugh, I guess I fell asleep." Ash cleared her throat and put her head against Ali's chest.

"Why are you out here? Are you ok?"

"I locked myself out."

"Why did you leave the apartment in the first place?" Ali thought she had everything set up so that Ashlyn could just relax.

"I laid on my shoulder weird and thought I would try to get my medicine on my own." Ash put her head down. She felt so discouraged.

"What happened, baby?"

"I found a pharmacy, but I didn't know how to ask in German if they had my prescription. So I came back here and found out I forgot a key to get in."

Ali could tell Ashlyn was really discouraged. She knew that after a long uncomfortable plane ride, plus her shoulder pain, Ashlyn must have been physically and emotionally exhausted. Usually Ashlyn would laugh off these sort of things but she was too overwhelmed to stay optimistic.

"I'm sorry, baby." Ali helped her up and gave her a kiss. She unlocked the door for Ashlyn and then hurried to pick up the bags she had earlier dropped.

"Sit down and I'll get you your pain medication." Ali hurried to open the bottle and make sure to give Ash the right dose. Ash took it gladly and leaned back into the recliner.

Ali sat on the arm of the chair and stroked Ashlyn's head, trying to help her relax.

"Did I make the right decision?" Ashlyn asked. "I'm not like you. I can't just pick up German. How am I gonna do this?"

"Ashlyn, it's ok. It's your first afternoon here. When I first moved here I freaked out. But I'm here and I'm gonna help you. I promise it will get easier."

Ali knew exactly how Ashlyn was feeling. Moving so far away from everything you've ever known is terrifying. She knew with Ashlyn's surgery and exhaustion level that her fiancé wasn't regretting her decision, she was just scared.

Ashlyn enjoyed some pain-free sleep and woke up with a much brighter outlook on life.

...

"So how's the wedding planning going?" Ashlyn asked.

Ali couldn't help but laugh.

"Well, my fiancé hasn't been much help but things are moving along nicely."

"How do you do it? You're superwoman. You're planning our wedding, most of my moving stuff and you keep me out of trouble" Ash grinned, "for the most part, anyway."

"What did you do?" Ali knew Ash was capable of finding trouble just about anywhere.

"Nothing. I'm just messing with ya." Ashlyn laughed at her soon to be wife's concern.

"This is what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life." Ali joked.

"You ain't seen nothing yet, honey."

...

Ashlyn loved having Ali so close by. They were able to see each other at least two days a week and once Ashlyn felt a little more comfortable with her new team and apartment she knew she'd made the right decision.

Her big risk had paid off and she knew she would never regret moving across an ocean for Ali. She would do a lot more than that for her. She would give her the world if she could.

And Ali felt the same way about Ashlyn. She had never known love like this. But now that she had known it, she knew she could never live without it.

Chapter Text

FLASHBACK

"Ashlyn, it's not that I don't love you. It's just that everything's moving so fast!" Ali was trying to get out of the hole she dug herself into.

"You said you don't want to marry me. How else am I supposed to take that?" Ashlyn screamed into her phone.

Ali hated that she had to have this conversation over the phone but Ashlyn asked her what was bothering her. She couldn't lie.

"It's just..." Ali paused, she knew she needed to be careful with the words she chose. "It's just we got engaged, and then you moved out here, and now we're gonna get married in 2 months. I just...it's overwhelming. I just wonder if we're moving too fast."

They were moving fast, that was certain. But they knew that going into this. They both had loved each other secretly for years and once they got together they were farther along in their relationship than a normal couple just starting out.

"Whatever, Alex. I'm done." Ashlyn hung up on her fiancé. Or ex-fiancé? Ali wasn't sure.

...

Ashlyn hung up the phone and felt an ache in her chest. Her life was over. Ali was everything to her. She abandoned everything to be with her and now Ali didn't want her anymore.

Of course she didn't want to marry her, Ashlyn thought. She probably figured out that she was too good for her. She probably came to her senses and realized that Ashlyn was a screw up. She came from a dysfunctional family and was damaged beyond repair. Ali was smart to run.

Ashlyn was up all night thinking about all the ways she wasn't good enough for Ali. She determined that it really was in Ali's best interest to stay away from her. Ashlyn decided right then and there that she would do her best to let Ali go. Because all she really wanted was for Ali to be happy.

...

Ashlyn was supposed to take the train to Ali's place the next day after her rehab. That's how their week's always went. One of them would visit the other on their day off. This time it was planned for Ashlyn to visit Ali.

Ashlyn didn't show up.

Ali tried calling her and she wouldn't answer. She came up with imaginary scenarios in her head of why Ashlyn could be late, but it ended up being simply because she didn't come.

Ali waited too long before it dawned on her that she could have went to Ashlyn's apartment. By the time she thought of it she wouldn't have enough time to get back for practice the next morning.

Ali tried calling Ashlyn over and over again, but Ashlyn never answered. It was as if she fell of the face of the earth. Ali knew that she couldn't stand by and let her life fall apart. Everything she ever wanted was summed up in a person. Ashlyn was that person. She couldn't let one fight ruin her entire life.

She continued to call, even though the messages she had left had filled up Ashlyn's voicemail, she kept calling anyway.

They didn't speak that entire week. Ali ended up taking a risk and visiting Ashlyn on her day off the next week. She had tried to call her several times a day, every day, but Ash didn't pick up. She felt sick thinking of how angry Ashlyn must've been with her.

When she arrived at Ash's apartment Ashlyn's roommate was there but Ashlyn was not. Her roommate tried to stay out of it, but she ended up letting it spill that Ash was with Niki in Munich.

Ali was angry and hurt. Ash could have at least told her she wouldn't be around. Maybe Ashlyn really did break-up with her.

Ali decided she would wait at Ashlyn's apartment until either Ash returned or the last train left for Frankfurt.

Ashlyn's roommate texted her and warned her that Ali was waiting there. Ash didn't come home that night.

Ali took the train home staring off into nowhere and mindlessly playing with her engagement ring.

...

Two weeks later Frankfurt was scheduled to play Duisburg. Ali knew there was no way Ash could avoid her. They were both going to be in the same place at the same time, and Ali was going to make sure she didn't waste the opportunity.

The game was a blow-out. Ali didn't celebrate for any of her team's 6 goals. Instead she would steal glances at the bench and try to gauge Ashlyn's attitude to finally being in the same place together. She caught Ashlyn's eyes a few times but Ashlyn quickly turned away.

After the game Ali found Ash. It was obvious Ashlyn was trying to avoid her but she had nowhere to go.

"Ash, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Ashlyn turned in the opposite direction and tried to walk away. Ali grabbed her injured shoulder by mistake. That definitely got a response from Ashlyn.

"What's the matter with you? Why did you do that? Are you trying to hurt me more? Haven't you done enough?" Ashlyn yelled and then realized they were in public and held back the rest of what she wanted to say.

"Ashlyn, I'm sorry. I honestly forgot." Ali apologized and took a step closer to her. "You've been avoiding me for 3 weeks. I just want to talk to you."

"You made it pretty clear, Ali. You don't want me in your life. So now I'm just trying to live my life, that was completely built around you, by the way. How else am I supposed to respond? I'm in Germany for you. And now..." Ashlyn decided she had said enough. "You know what, never mind."

"Ashlyn, I never said that!" Ali reached out for Ashlyn in both her words and touch. She placed a hand on Ashlyn's arm. "I said we were moving really fast. I got cold feet. Planning the wedding freaked me out a little bit, but that's it."

Ali gripped Ashlyn's bicep and said, "I didn't break up with you. I thought you broke up with me. I've been trying to talk to you to beg you to take me back."

"What?" Ashlyn looked so sad and confused.

"I didn't break up with you!" Ali made sure Ashlyn understood.

"You didn't? But I thought..."

"And I thought YOU broke up with me." Ali said. "Please forgive me for my temporary insanity. I love you and your all I want...forever."

"You still want to marry me?" Ash asked in almost a whisper.

"Of course! Who else would I want to spend my life with?"

Ali watched Ashlyn soften in front of her. She saw the wall that Ash had built up between them crumble to the ground.

"Can I hug you?" Ali asked. Ash shook her head 'yes' and Ali quickly removed the rest of the space between them.

"I'm sorry." Ashlyn mumbled into Ali's shoulder.

"Me, too." Ali returned.

...

The two ended up spending the rest of the night 'making up.' Afterward Ali asked Ashlyn why she didn't answer any of her calls.

"I don't know. I guess I thought you were better off without me. I knew that if I did talk to you I wouldn't be able to stay away." Ashlyn said. She was holding Ali as they laid in her bed trying to catch their breath.

"Why would you ever think I'm better off without you? There's no one I could be better with." Ali said. She rolled into Ashlyn's side so that her lips were against her skin. After pressing a few kisses on Ash's chest she continued.

"Ash, I need you to know that I'm not going to leave you. I completely understand why you might worry about that, but I'm not like your mom and dad. I can see you for you. You're amazing. You're worth every second of my life spent with you. I'm not ever going to want a life apart from you."

"You don't know that." Ashlyn answered. "Maybe right now you love me but you don't know about tomorrow. What if you change your mind?" Ash asked.

"I can't think of a scenario where that could every happen. If you keep loving me, I'll keep loving you. Deal?" Ali stuck her hand up for Ashlyn to shake.

"Deal." Ash said. She knew that if Ali really meant what she said then she had nothing to worry about. Ashlyn will love Ali for the rest of her life.

It would take years for Ashlyn to know beyond a doubt that Ali meant what she said that night. But once she was confident in her wife's faithful love and support she felt like a different person. Ali gave her a new outlook on life.

The two were in it together. No matter what may come, they knew they would always have the other's hand to hold during the storm.

Chapter Text

Tobin was in town because of the death of a close friend. The funeral was about a 40 minute drive away from the Krieger-Harris home and Alex wanted to make sure Tobin was well taken care of in her absence.

"Hey, Tobs." Ash hurried to grab her long time friend's suitcase and led the way to her Jeep.

"I thought your wife was picking me up." Tobin said.

"She got held up with the kids. Don't worry. The doctor cleared me to drive. I won't wreck us." Ash joked.

"I wasn't worried about that." Tobin wasn't her usual upbeat self. Ashlyn wasn't really expecting her to be. Tobin wasn't visiting for a happy reason. She was there to say a final good-bye to her childhood friend.

"Too bad Alex couldn't make it." Ashlyn was trying to fill the awkward silence.

"Yeah, we really need her to play if we hope to make the playoffs so..." Tobin let her sentence hang in the air and watched the raindrops as they fell against her window.

Ashlyn reached over the center console and grabbed her friend's hand. "We're here for you, Tobin. You know we love you and will do anything we can to help you through this."

Tobin nodded. She did know she had the full support of her friends. She was very thankful for them. But some wounds are harder to heal than others.

"So um, we sent Sam to spend the night with Ali's dad. We weren't sure if you'd be up to hanging with him. Of course we can pick him up at anytime if you think you're up to it. I know he's pretty good at cheering me up when I'm feeling bummed."

"It might be better for him to stay with his grandpa. I don't want him to worry." Tobin didn't have the energy to play with her favorite boy and she didn't think he could take her very different demeanor.

When the two women arrived at the house Ali swallowed Tobin up in a hug. She could tell right away that she was having a hard time with everything.

"Did you call Alex and let her know you landed?" Ali asked. Alex had already checked up on her and called Ali but she didn't want Tobin to feel bad for forgetting.

"Oh crap! I haven't called her yet. I totally forgot." Tobin pulled out her phone and excused herself to another room while she called her girlfriend.

"How is she?" Ali whispered to her wife.

"Not good. I've actually never seen her like this." Ashlyn was worried about her friend.

"She'll be ok, baby. If anyone has enough faith to get through something like this it's Tobin."

"Yeah, I know. It just sucks."

Tobin returned with red eyes and a forced smile.

"Tobin, so you wanna rest for awhile?" Ali asked and then instructed her wife to take her bag into the guest room. "We're probably gonna have dinner in about an hour. You're welcome to take a nap or hang out with us. Ash has been watching shark week for the last couple of days. So I'm sure that's where we'll be."

"Yup!" Ashlyn yelled on her way back from the guest room. "You've got our last empty room. We've been filling em up with kids lately." Ash joked.

Ali felt her phone vibrate and saw she had a text message. It was from Alex. She asked that she keep an eye on Tobin. She confirmed that Tobin was really upset. She told her to make sure she eats and takes care of herself.

Alex knew that they were good enough friends that she could make these sort of requests. Ashlyn and Tobin were practically twins. Alex knew Ali took good care of Ashlyn so she would be a natural with Tobin too.

Ali responded immediately, letting her know that she would take care of everything.

...

The rain continued to fall outside but the Krieger-Harris house had an awning that covered their backyard deck. Ashlyn and Tobin sat outside listening to the rain hit the roof of the house. There wasn't much talking going on at first, but the quiet between friends was good for Tobin's soul.

After a while Ashlyn broke the silence. "How did your friend pass away, Tobs?"

Tobin cleared her throat. She felt a huge lump rising and tears starting to push against her eyelids.

"Pete...his name was Pete. Anyway, he was really depressed, I guess. Even though no one knew it. I guess he got tired of the hurt and took his own life." Tobin sniffed trying to keep from letting the tears fall down her face.

"That's terrible." Ashlyn didn't know what else to say.

"He was always the life of the party. I feel so stupid. If I would've known I would've said something. I would've tried to help him."

"I know what it's like to go through stuff and feel like I have to keep it to myself. It drives Ali crazy when I do that." Ashlyn felt stupid. She shouldn't have said that. "I mean, it's not his fault. I'm just saying..."

"It's ok. I know what you mean." Tobin rescued her friend from having to try to make up for what she said.

"It seems so senseless, you know? But I don't blame him. He was one of the best people I ever knew. He must have really been miserable." Tobin started to sob. She put her face in her hands and tried to cover her tears. Ashlyn put an arm around her and waited out the cries of her friend's broken heart.

...

Tobin excused herself to her room to get cleaned up for dinner. Ash helped Ali set the table while they waited for Jake and Tobin to join them. When Ali dropped off Sam, Lex decided she wanted some grandpa time too. So they just had their oldest child with them.

"How is she?" Ali asked.

"Not good. Her friend took his own life." Ashlyn said as she tried to look around the corner to make sure no one was coming.

"What? Poor Tobin!" Ali knew Tobin well. Tobin is the one who always tried to look for the light in the darkness. And she is always trying to point it out to those who need to see it the most. But something like this makes it difficult to see anything at all.

Jake made it to dinner first. Ash and Ali weren't sure how 'adult' the conversation might get so they had a back up plan, just in case.

"Sweetheart, Tobin is going through some tough stuff so there might be a time when we ask you to go to another room. It's not because we are mad at you or anything. Ok?" Ali said as Jake was washing his hands at the kitchen sink.

"Ok." Jake would rather not be in an awkward or boring conversation anyway. Especially when there are video games to be played.

Tobin finally made it to dinner and she looked different. Her eyes seemed dimmer somehow.

"Hey man." Tobin gave Jake a fist bump as a greeting and sat down with the family. "Can one of you take me to rent a car tomorrow morning?" Tobin asked.

"No need for that." Ash said. "I'll drive you."

"What?" Both Tobin and Ali were surprised by the offer

"You really don't have to do that." Tobin was surprised. Who in their right mind offers to go to a funeral in their spare time?

"It's no big deal. I've been thinking about it and I really want to go with you." Ashlyn answered. She looked at her wife and though she didn't use words she was begging her to support the idea.

Ali caught on to Ashlyn's wordless plea. "Yeah, Tobs. It makes sense. Ash has a free day tomorrow." Ash actually didn't have a free day but the two of them could work it out before tomorrow.

"I don't know. I don't want to be a bother."

"It would really mean a lot to me if you would let me take you." Ash said. Ashlyn actually would have rather done anything else over going to a stranger's funeral, but her friends and family are much more important to her than convenience and comfort.

"Ok, I guess." Tobin reluctantly agreed but secretly was grateful she didn't have to face this alone.

"So what happened to your friend?" Jake asked. So much for trying to protect him from such a heavy subject.

"Um." Tobin didn't know if she should tell him the truth. She looked to Ashlyn for help. Ash looked to Ali. Ali decided to answer for Tobin.

"Baby, he was very sad and he took his own life." Ali took Jake's hand like this was the first time he ever heard anything like this before.

"Oh. Ok." He replied as if it was no big deal. Ashlyn didn't take that well.

"What do you mean 'oh, ok?' This man was so sad that he lost sight of any hope. Do you think that's no big deal?" Ash asked.

Ali's eyes grew big. She could see that her wife was getting upset and this was the last thing Tobin, and probably Jake, needed.

"What?" Jake was clueless of what was wrong with his tone and what he said.

"That's a terrible and sad thing." Ash tried to drive her point.

"I've seen people do that." Jake said. He had no idea what he had just walked into.

"You what?" Ali asked concerned.

"Growing up I was basically on my own but there were some people around me, especially at night. We would all sleep in an alley to keep the wind from freezing us. A lot of them would talk about dying and being freed from their suffering. One guy was constantly saying that, 'freed from suffering.' One day I woke up and he was dead. He was free."

All the women were shocked. They were absolutely speechless.

"What's the big deal? It's some dumb homeless guy. He was a drug addict. Nobody cared about him." He tried to make the women feel better by pointing out that he wasn't 'worth' much.

Ali knew Ash wasn't gonna let that fly.

"Jacob!" Ashlyn slammed her fist into the table. "That man is worth just as much as you or me or anyone else. His life is worth more than any of us could ever know. It is a tragedy that he felt no one cared about him. Guess what, son?" Ashlyn pointed to herself. "I care about him."

"I didn't mean anything by it. I'm just saying I understand why he thought it was better to die." Jake was actually scared by Ashlyn's response.

"Jacob, it is never better to give up on life. Look at you. At that time you were all alone. If you would have taken your life we never would have been able to know you or love you. In life there is always a chance that things are gonna get better. There is always hope."

Ashlyn saw how freaked out her son was. She knew he felt bad about what he said. She got up and walked over to his chair and made him scoot over enough for her to share the seat with him. She put an arm around him and continued.

"Son, I don't blame that man for what he did. He must've been hurting so much. But I believe there is always a better way. And I believe that the better way is to ask for help."

Ashlyn gave him a squeeze and Tobin interrupted.

"I know if my friend would have said something, I would have cared. I would have done everything in my power to help him."

Ali continued to hold Jake's hand and decided to get in on the conversation. "A lot of things can be fixed by asking for help. It's human nature to try to work things out on our own, but we need each other. If you ever feel hopeless and hurting promise me that you will say something."

Jacob nodded his head in agreement. He turned toward Tobin and said, "I'm sorry about your friend. And I'm sorry if I made you cry."

"No worries, man. We're basically family. You can say whatever you want to me." Tobin answered.

Jake looked at his parents and then back at Tobin. "I don't think they agree with you." He gave her an exasperated smile and the laughter of Tobin was present again in the Krieger-Harris house.

...

The next morning Ali got both Ash and Tobin presentable for a formal occasion. She made sure they were both well fed and well dressed.

"Sweetheart, make sure you take your anxiety medicine with you. This is gonna be a tough day." Ali gave her a bag already packed with snacks and all the possible meds she might need.

"Al, it's not my friend. You don't need to worry so much about me." Ash was definitely downplaying the stress of the day.

"Baby, please." That's all Ali needed to say. Ashlyn dropped it and promised she would take it if she needed it.

...

Ash and Tobin managed to keep the conversation light on the way to the service. Tobin seemed to be doing a little better than the night before.

Ashlyn pulled up to the church and started to open her door. She looked over and saw Tobin with her eyes shut and lips barely moving. She stopped immediately what she was doing and waited for Tobin to finish her prayer.

Several times that day people mistook Ashlyn for Alex. Both Ash and Tobin shared a laugh when asked if they were dating. Ash finally had too much of trying to be serious and told Tobin's friend that Tob's could never land someone as fine as her. They all shared a laugh at Tobin's expense.

On the ride back Tobin looked to be deep in thought.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Ash asked.

"I was just thinking about how grief is a funny thing. It looks different for different people. It's ok to smile and laugh when you're sad. It's ok not to, too."

"Yeah, I think that's definitely true."

"Ash, thanks for coming with me. Obviously I'm sentimental right now, but it means a lot to me that you're here. You didn't have to be. I would have understood and even expected for you not to be. But you really helped me. You helped me because you cared enough to get involved in a difficult and maybe awkward situation. I really appreciate that."

"No problem. That's what friends are for, right?"

"Yeah, I think so. But we so easily get caught up in our own lives or not wanting to cause anyone to be uncomfortable that we stay away when we are needed the most. I just wonder if things could have been different for Pete. Ya know? I mean, what if someone would have seen that he seemed off? What if someone would've risked looking stupid and causing an awkward moment and just asked if he was ok? Maybe things could've been different."

"Yeah, I see what you mean. We definitely need to do a better job of looking out for each other. It's so easy to get wrapped up in our own stuff." Ash said.

"People just need to care about each other and be kind. Why is it so rare, these days? It's not hard. It's not hard at all. It's easy to ask if someone needs help or to see someone in need and help them. Why do we make things so hard on each other?" Tobin had questions that no one could answer.

...

"Mama?" Jake said.

Ashlyn looked at him like he had two heads.

"Oh yeah, um, I decided I was gonna call you Mama, now. It's too confusing calling both you and Mom, 'mom.' See even trying to explain it is confusing." Jake explained.

"Ok, son. You can call me whatever you want. What's up?" Ash asked. Obviously something was on her son's mind.

"I just wanted to say that I get what you were saying last night. About how that guy that I knew who killed himself, his life was worth something. Even if he didn't see it or I didn't see it at the time, it still didn't change the fact that his life was important. I just wanted you to know that I get it. I get what you were trying to say." He just managed to make his mom so proud.

"I'm glad you get it." Ash said. "And I hope you know that it's true about you too. Even when you feel really bad about yourself or about whatever you're going through, you're worth fighting for." Ashlyn gave the boy a hug and kiss.

"I'm gonna go to bed. I just wanted you to know I understood what you meant and I'm sorry about what I said before."

"We all make mistakes, son. The most important thing is that we learn from them and that's what you did." She gave him one more hug and told him goodnight.

Jake got her attention again after she started to walk to her room. "Hey, mom...I mean Mama. I saw a guy call his mom 'mama' on TV and he said it in a tough guy way, you know not like a 3 year old way like Sam would say it. So, I just thought I'd let you know that that's how I'm saying it....the tough guy way."

Ash smiled and kept herself from laughing. "I know, Jake. I can totally tell the difference."

From then on Jake called Ash 'Mama.' But it was only in the 'tough guy' way, of course.

Chapter Text

Ali pulled into the driveway with their surprise guest. Ashlyn was still asleep as well as the kids and their other guest, Tobin. Tobin was visiting because of a friend's funeral the day before and Alex couldn't make it because she had a game. Alex asked Ali not to say anything to Tobin about her coming because she wanted her favorite midfielder to get some much needed sleep.

Ali was happy to pick her up. Even though her and Ashlyn were taking good care of Tobin, Ali knew the person she really needed was Alex.

"Are you hungry?" Ali asked Alex. It was 5am which is 2am Portland time. Ali figured Alex probably just wanted to go to Tobin but she thought she'd offer anyway.

"No. I'm actually pretty tired. Do you mind if I just lay down with Tobin for a while?" Alex asked.

"No, of course not. I know Ash probably won't be up for a while either. My dad's not dropping the little ones off for several more hours, and our teenager can sleep for days if uninterrupted, so this family is in sleep-in mode."

Alex laughed and gave Ali a hug. "Thank you for everything. I know you guys really came through for Tobs. And it means so much to us."

"It's nothing. We're glad to help. Besides, I think my wife deserves most of the credit. She reminded me of how Monster follows Sam around. She was watching over Tobin, that's for sure." Ali answered.

"That's sweet. You both are my heroes."

Ali could tell Alex was tired and probably anxious to see her girlfriend.

"Come on, I'll show you to your room. You'll be in the guest room downstairs. The one you guys used last time you were here has been claimed by a handsome teenager, so you can't have that one."

Alex laughed. "You guys are running out of rooms."

"Yeah, we really are. We have a pretty good sized house but if we consider any more kids we're gonna have to think about expanding or moving."

"Are you guys talking about more kids?"

"We were before Jake came into the picture. We kinda put everything on hold after that. So, I honestly don't know." Ali laughed. She was content with the family she had, but knew she had a lot more love to give.

Ali set Alex's bag down outside the room door and let Alex take care of the rest.

"I'll see you in a few hours. Don't feel rushed to get up. Just act like you're at home." She gave her one more hug. "We love you."

Alex found her girlfriend knocked out. She was deep asleep. Alex decided she wasn't gonna intentionally wake her and make her presence know. She decided instead to join her and pull her into her arms, so she could hold her while she slept.

Tobin didn't wake up but she did seem to relax at her touch. Alex was glad she came.

...

Several hours later Ali was the only adult awake when her dad dropped off Lex and Sam. Ali normally would've woken her wife when they had company, especially when all the kids were up and she needed to cook, but she knew Ash was emotionally drained. Her kids were all getting along and being quiet so she decided to let Ashlyn rest.

Alex and Tobin were the next ones to wake up. Sam ran to Tobin as soon as he saw her. He smashed right into her shins and hugged her legs.

"Toby! Yer here!" Tobin picked him up and gave him a hug.

The boy pressed his nose against her's and said, "Yer at my house, Toby."

"Yep, that's right." Tobin answered. "Look who else is here." Tobin turned him towards Alex. The boy wasn't as excited to see her but he was learning from his parents that he should always be kind.

"Hi Alex." He put his hand out for her to shake.

Ali had never seen him do that to anyone on his own. Ashlyn and him shake on things all the time but her wife is always the one to hold her hand out first. This was something new for him.

"Dude, you're a trip." Ashlyn had finally woken up and saw the exchange between her son and Alex.

"Mama! I miss you more!" Sam put his arms out for Ash to take him.

Ali explained to the women that he always said 'I miss you more' as a way to say 'I miss you.' He thought that's the proper way to say it.

"I missed YOU more, Bam." Ash replied. The two best buds had been apart for two days but you would have thought it was at least a week.

"Just so ya'll know, he didn't greet me like that." Ali said.

"Aww." Ash brought Sam up close to Ali. "Let's give Mommy a kiss!" The two of them assaulted Ali's face with wet kisses.

"Stop! You two are too much." Ali said.

"YOU are too much, woman." Ash said.

"Too much, woman!" Sam copied.

Alex and Tobin couldn't help but laugh at their favorite family.

"Are you all hungry?" Ali asked.

Ashlyn was the first to answer. "I'm starving!"

Sam copied "I'm starving too." He looked to Ash to see if she approved. She nodded her head to let him know that Team Awesome was in agreement.

"Ashlyn you're always starving. I wasn't asking you." Ali looked at their guests for an answer.

"I'd actually like take Tobin out for breakfast, if that's ok with you. I'd have to borrow a vehicle to do it, though." Alex said.

"You can take mine." All volunteered. "You probably don't want to drive Ashlyn's beast of a car, anyway."

"Hey, my beast is beautiful." Ash defended her 'other' baby.

"Your beast is ginormous! And I hate driving it." Ali said.

"That's rude."

The other half of Team Awesome agreed. "That rude, Mommy!"

"Do you see what I have to deal with?" Ali looked to Alex and Tobin for some sympathy but received laughter instead.

...

"So this is last minute but Alex and I were wondering if you want us to like...I don't know...like watch your kids for a while so you two can hang out." Tobin said.

"Really?" Ali questioned. "That sounds great, actually."

"Tobin and I talked over breakfast about how amazing you guys have been and we really want to thank you and maybe return the favor." Alex explained.

"Gosh, I don't even know what we would do. Let me run it by Ash. I'm sure we'll think of something." Ali smiled.

She was excited to spend some alone time with her wife. Since the accident it felt like everything was of a more serious nature. She really wanted to treat her wife to a day of worry free fun.
...

"Baby, Alex and Tob want to watch the kids so that we can have some time alone. How do you feel about that?" Ali found her wife outside passing a soccer ball around with the kids.

"I feel awesome about that. What do you wanna do?"

"I was hoping you'd have an idea."

"Hmm...you'd think I should have a notebook filled with random date ideas so that I can always treat my woman right. Hmmm.." Ashlyn said with a mischievous grin.

"Wait. Do you have a notebook like that?" Ali asked.

"Please. Do you think that I would do something lame like that?"

"It's not lame. It's sweet. And yes, I think you would totally do something like that."

...

Ali and Ashlyn both picked one thing to do out of Ashlyn's random date idea notebook. Ashlyn picked to go to the local botanical gardens. She said she wanted to take her 'hot model wife' to a place that was almost as beautiful as her. She knew that Ali would love to look at all of the beautiful flowers in bloom.

Ali chose to take her wife to an arcade so they could have a little light hearted fun together. She knew Ashlyn would love it and also knew that she needed to have a little fun. The past several months have been stressful. Unfortunately, many of the activities Ashlyn liked to do to unwind and have fun were not medically cleared for her to do. So Ali knew she needed to let her wife have some fun.

...

Alex had a make-over party with Lexi and Tobin was in charge of the boys.

"Alex, do you like my boa?" Lexi had tried on all of her favorite clothing and accessories for her favorite Aunt. Alex thought the girl looked cute and wasn't shy about telling her.

"Girrrrl!" Alex gave her three snaps of approval and then continued. "You look fabulous!"

Lexi gave a curtsey like she learned in her ballet class and Alex did one in return.

Tobin and Sam decided to build a fort in the living room. They had to work around Jake who was playing video games while they made a masterpiece out of couch cushions, sheets, blankets and pillows.

"Bammers, we need flashlights for our exploring expedition." Tobin was ready to have an adventure with Sam.

"I got some." Sammy quickly ran up the stairs to his room and grabbed his bug hunting gear. He walked past Lexi's room and peeked in. The boy had already put his headlamp hard hat on and turned the light on. Alex was curious what the boy was up to.

"Hey Sam, what's with the fancy hat?" Alex asked him.

"Me and Toby is going on exp-dition." He had no idea how to say expedition. He didn't even know what it meant but if Tobin said it, then he wanted to do it.

"Wow! Sounds like fun. But I think Lexi and I are gonna have more fun that you and Toby."

"No way!" Sam did a karate chop and kick in the air. This movement cause his hard hat to fall off. "Oops." He picked it up and made a helicopter sound as he pretended to fly around Lex's room and then back downstairs to Tobin.

Alex looked over at Lexi who seemed pretty annoyed. "Boys are weird."

Lexi smiled. "Yeah."

...

Ashlyn decided to be the photographer of the day and took a lot of pictures of her beautiful wife as they toured the gardens.

"Hey babe, remember when we first started dating and I introduced you to my family?" Ashlyn had brought Ali home to meet her Grandma, Grandpa and brother.

"I already knew them, but yeah. I remember." Ali corrected her wife's mistake.

"I mean I introduced you as my girlfriend. Anyway, these roses remind me of that night I brought you to Grandma's garden. Remember what we did there?"

"Umm" Ali was being coy. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah right. You're the one that remembers everything." Ashlyn didn't believe her for a minute.

"I remember you kissed me in that garden. It took my breath away." Ali stepped in closer to her wife. She put her arms around her neck and stepped up on the tips of her toes to steal a kiss.

"Remember what we did...that other time." Ashlyn wagged her eyebrows up and down and waited for her wife to reminisce the steamy scene.

"Ha. I remember. And we are NOT doing that here!"

Ashlyn laughed at her embarrassed wife. Ali's face matched the color of the red roses they were standing next to.

Ashlyn had her arms around Ali's waist and pulled her in close. "You wish. I'm too classy to do that sort of thing in public." She gripped Ali's sides right where she was most ticklish and then watched her wife squirm and squeal.

"You're in trouble, missy!" Ali threatened but Ashlyn wasn't worried at all.

...

"Toby!" Sam jumped from the back of the couch and into the arms of his 'girlfriend.' Tobin flew Sam around the room in her arms and then collapsed on the pillows lining the floor in front of their fort.

"Jake, you need to help me. Your brother is wearing me out!" Tobin begged for Jacob to join them. The boy hadn't moved from his game since his parents left.

"Nah, I'm good." He was not feeling up to playing with his wild younger sibling.

"Are you sure? We are having way more fun than you. You're just staring at a tv screen."

"Jakes is tired." Sam spoke up for his brother.

"I'm feeling sick." Jacob thought he needed to further explain. He didn't want to hurt Tobin's feelings.

"You're sick? Should I call your mom?" Tobin was worried that he was seriously ill.

"No. I have a condition where sometimes I just get worn out and I get sick easier. Today I'm just feeling really tired."

"Oh. Sorry, man. I didn't know." Tobin apologized.

"It's ok. I've been feeling pretty good all week, but today I woke up not feeling so great."

"Toby..." Sam was getting impatient with the amount of attention and time Tobin was giving Jacob. "Let's play.'

"Hold on, buddy." Tobin said as Samuel climbed up on her back and pushed her back and forth by shifting his weight.

"Come on." He whined.

"What's it feel like?" Tobin was on a mission to let Jake know she cared about whatever he was feeling.

"Sometimes my muscles hurt. And it's really hard to focus, sometimes." Jake answered quietly.

"Grrr! Raaaaaaawr!" Sam was showing Tobin his ability to roar as he hung off of her neck.

"That stinks, man." Tobin stayed focused on the older boy. "And you said you get sick easily?"

"Yeah, if I'm really worn out, I have to be careful what germs I come in contact with. Mom makes me drink gross smoothies to help boost my immune system. I hate them."

"Well, get used to it if you want to be an athlete. Food becomes fuel and fuel doesn't always taste good." Tobin said.

"Hmm. I didn't think about it like that." Jacob had been working hard to improve in soccer and to hear Tobin describe his gross smoothies as fuel, made him feel pretty cool about having to drink them.

Samuel was really doing his best to stay patient. But for a three year old any amount of time past a few minutes was too long. He left the two and let Monster in. His dog was outside while they were building the fort. Little Monster got too excited while they were stacking cushions and draping sheets. He kept tearing down their hard work, so they put him outside.

As soon as Sam opened the sliding door Monster ran in and started sniffing the new structure in the living room. Once he was satisfied with it's presence, he moved on to check its stability. He jumped right into the side wall cushion and collapsed the entire fort.

"No, Monster!" Sam didn't think his own dog would betray him and destroy all his hard work. Sam started to cry and chastise the puppy. "Bad, Monster. You broke the fort!"

Sam chased the dog around, yelling at him between disappointed cries.

Alex came running down the stairs with Lexi close behind. She thought someone was hurt. She saw the drama unfolding before her and couldn't believe that Tobin was allowing it.

"Tobin!" Alex called out to get her attention.

Alex's voice pulled Tobin out of her super focused state.

"Yeah?" She answered her girlfriend.

Alex just gave her an all too familiar look. She'd seen it a thousand times. Alex wasn't happy about whatever it was that she was doing. She took a quick look around and noticed a crying and angry Sam-Bam. She jumped up and ran to the boy.

"Sam-Bam!" She caught up with him and picked him up, allowing the dog to find safety behind Jacob.

Sam squirmed in her arms and kicked his legs trying to get loose. Alex had to step in and offer help.

"Samuel!" Alex said sternly. "Calm down now or you have to go to time-out."

"Noooooo." Sam said. He wasn't being defiant. He just didn't want to have to sit in time-out.

Tobin took matters into her own hands. "Babe, I'm gonna take him outside for a minute." She carried him out the back door and walked with him in her arms around the yard. She lightly bounced him up and down until he seemed to calm down. She sat down on one of the swings and held him close to her. He finally caught his breath and rested his head on her shoulder. He had one hand around the back of her neck, playing with her hair and the other holding onto the front of her shirt.

"Hey buddy, what happened? Why did you get upset?"

"Monster broke my fort." He sniffled.

"We can build it again. It's no big deal."

"You talked to Jakes and not me." Sam finally let the real source of his sadness known. The poor little guy was jealous.

"You know your my main man, right?" Tobin wasn't trying to upset her little buddy.

"Yeah." Sam said softly and let go of Tobin's shirt to wipe his nose with the back of his hand.

"Not everyone is as good at having fun as me and you. We need to make sure to include others, too."

Sam nodded his head. He wasn't mad at Jake. He was Jake's biggest fan. He just wanted to make sure Tobin didn't forget about him.

"How about if we rebuild the fort? We can make a little opening for Monster to come in and out and we can invite Jake to watch a movie with us inside. What do you think?"

"Yeah!" Sam was back to his old self again.

...

Ashlyn and Ali returned home after a full day of enjoying one another's company. They found the house completely destroyed. Toys everywhere, not to mention the couch was torn apart. Ali pointed to the front of the fort that had two pairs of feet sticking out. Tobin and Jacob were too tall for the fort, apparently. They took a peak inside and found 2 sleeping boys, one happy puppy and a very worn out midfielder.

"Hey Tobs." Ashlyn whispered. "You ok?"

"I think I'm gonna sleep for a couple of days after this." Ashlyn reached her hand inside the fort and helped Tobin get out without waking the children or destroying the fort.

"Where are the girls?" Ali asked.

"Alex took Lexi to bed. I haven't seen her since." Tobin answered.

Ash and Ali left Tobin to try and recover from the day. They peaked into Lexi's room and saw that both Lex and Alex had fallen asleep. Alex had an arm around Lex and had a book lying face down against her stomach.

"Aw." Ali cooed."That's so sweet."

"Should we wake her up?" Ashlyn asked.

"Probably. Poor Tobin is all by herself downstairs."

Ashlyn gave Alex a nudge and let her know that she was officially off duty.

Alex groggily walked down to where her girlfriend had fallen asleep. She woke her up and pointed toward their guest room. The two walked hand in hand to a more restful place.

...

Ashlyn carried Sam to bed and Ali woke up Jake. After they made sure all the children and their guests were comfortable, they headed to bed themselves.

"I had such a great time with you today, Ash." Ali said from the couple's bed.

"I really had a great time too. I always have a great time with you. You're my best friend." Ashlyn was in a sentimental mood.

"Aw, you're my best friend too." Ali pulled Ashlyn down to the bed next to her and kissed her lightly.

"Al, I just want you to know that I really appreciate you. I know I would be a mess without you. I can spend one day with you and it makes me feel like I've been filled up again. You know what I mean?" Ashlyn was sure she was talking crazy. She tried to explain. "It's like we pour ourselves out for our kids, and work and everything else. But when I'm with you I get filled up of the stuff that keeps me going. Ahh...that's sounds dumb." Ashlyn was frustrated with her inability to explain herself..

"Baby, that doesn't sound dumb at all. That's how I feel about you. When I'm running on empty you fill me up again."

"Dang, you're so much better with words than I am. I sound like an idiot."

"Stop! You do not." Ali pulled her wife down on top of her and decided it was time to finish what the two had started in the rose garden.

Chapter Text

FLASHBACK

"Are ya nervous?" Ashlyn couldn't help but tease her girlfriend.

"No. They already know me. Should I be nervous?" Ali replied.

The two were flying to Florida to stay with Ashlyn's grandparents for a week. Ashlyn's family knew and loved Ali, but this was the first time they would see her since they had started dating.

"Well, my Grandpa is pretty protective. He's probably gonna give you a hard time. Maybe he'll show you his gun collection."

Ali's eyes went wide. "Does your Grandpa have a lot of guns?" Ali whispered.

"Oh yeah. He's got a whole room full of them." Ashlyn was totally messing with Ali.

"Shotguns, rifles, pistols, semi automatics....I think he's got some ninja swords too. I wonder what he uses those for?" Ashlyn watched as all color left Ali's face.

"Are you serious, right now?" Ali was scared that maybe she shouldn't be so confident about seeing her girlfriend's family.

"Nah, I'm just messing with ya!" Ash started cracking up and Ali started jabbing her in the stomach with her elbow.

"Relax, princess. You're gonna wake up sleeping beauty over there." Ash nodded towards the large man sitting next to her girlfriend.

"You are the worst! Why do I even date you? You enjoy torturing me."

"Come on. I add spice to your perfect little boring life."

"Perfect? Boring? Really, Ashlyn?"

Ashlyn knew maybe she said the wrong thing. To her Ali's life seemed pretty perfect. Her parents loved her, she was close with her whole family. She grew up in a way where she never experienced want for anything. It seemed like a piece of cake to Ashlyn.

"Eh, relax. I'm just having fun with ya. Your life isn't perfect...well it is now that I'm in it. But before that..."

"You are something else." Ali was speechless. Her girlfriend was definitely different than anyone she'd ever met before. And she knew that her life would never be the same.

...

Ashlyn's family was very happy to see Ali. They welcomed her into their home as if she was already part of the family. She practically was anyways.

Ashlyn showed Ali her Grandmother's flower garden and planned a moonlit kiss with her girlfriend. Ali melted into Ashlyn's arms right in front of her Grandma's rose bush. Ali always considered Ashlyn to be a romantic. Ashlyn decided she could definitely get used to bringing Ali home and kissing her there. She said that the roses in the garden would be their 'spot' for romance whenever they visited.

...

Chris joined them for dinner the next night and was immediately asked about his romantic life.

"Nope, uh uh." He shook his head no. "Change of subject, or I'm leaving." Chris wasn't a fan of this topic at the moment.

Ashlyn stayed quiet. She knew Chris would do the same for her if the situation was reversed. But their grandmother was a big fan of her kids and could never understand why others didn't love them as much as she did.

"What happened, Christopher? What about that nice girl we saw you with last week?" Grandma asked.

"It's a long story, Grandma. She just didn't have it in her to deal with my 'issues.'" Chris air quoted the word 'issues.'

"What? Why would she even say that?" Grandma asked.

Ali saw Ashlyn was getting noticeably uncomfortable. Ali didn't know it but Ash wanted the conversation to end even more than her brother did. She didn't want Ali to know just how damaged she really was.

"I don't know, Grandma. I guess she decided I was a risk too big for her to take."

Ashlyn excused herself to use the bathroom. The family didn't think anything of it, but Ali knew something was wrong.

Ali waited a few minutes before following after her. She didn't want to leave right away and make it obvious that she was following her girlfriend.

Ali went to the bathroom and knocked lightly on the door. She heard Ashlyn's shaky voice.

"Yeah?" It was obvious Ashlyn had been crying.

"Are you ok?" Ali asked softly. She didn't want the family to hear.

Ali heard a few sniffles and some running water. She waited a few moments and was about to ask again, but finally heard the sound of metal turning. Ashlyn had unlocked the door.

"Can I come in?" Ali was careful. Even though they were best friends for years and were now dating, Ali knew that Ashlyn was a very private person. Ashlyn struggled to open up to anyone, even Ali.

"Yeah." Ashlyn said. She sounded defeated.

Ali slowly turned the knob and pushed the door open. She found her girlfriend leaning against the counter of the sink.

"Are you ok?" Ali still kept a distance from her. She didn't know why, but she was worried she might spook her if she got too close.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Ashlyn said. Her head was down and she had yet to look up at Ali.

"I know you're not fine, Ash."

"Don't worry about it. It's no big deal." Ashlyn tried to brush it off.

"So that's it? I find you here. I know you've been crying and I'm supposed to...What? Just leave you here?"

Ashlyn didn't have an answer. She was embarrassed. She was scared. And most of all she was worried that Ali would find out that she wasn't good enough for her. She was worried that Ali would decide that all of the 'issues' and all of the 'damage' was piled higher than she was willing to climb.

Ashlyn was worried that Ali would leave her.

"What do you want me to do, Ashlyn?" Ali was frustrated. It wasn't because her girlfriend was going through something, she could handle that. It was because Ashlyn was hiding it from her. Ashlyn had built a wall and was trying to keep her out.

"Can you just tell them I'm sick?"

"You want me to lie to your family for you? I'm here for you, Ashlyn! And you're not even gonna come back with me? You're gonna make me have dinner with your family without you?" Ali was now more than frustrated, she was angry. "What am I even here for? Why are we even together? You won't talk to me when you're upset. You shut me out! How do you think that makes me feel?"

Ashlyn never looked at her the entire time Ali spoke. She felt ashamed. She was ashamed of how she treated Ali and she was ashamed of who she was.

Ashlyn didn't answer Ali. She knew that if she tried to speak after Ali said all of that that she would just fall apart and she wasn't willing to do that.

Ali decided she had waited long enough and left Ashlyn all alone in the bathroom. She told her family that Ashlyn wasn't feeling well and hung out with Chris the rest of the night.

...

Ali stalled as long as she could before going to bed. She wanted to avoid Ashlyn. Her anger towards her girlfriend was boiling over. What made it worse was that she didn't even know what the fight was about, because Ashlyn refused to talk.

Ali went to their room at midnight and found Ashlyn in bed. She looked like she was asleep. But Ali knew better.

"I know you're awake. Are you going to ignore me all night?" Ali said. Ashlyn could hear how upset she was.

Ashlyn didn't say a word.

...

Ashlyn snuck out of the house before anyone else woke up. Ali was frustrated. She wanted to make things right, but her girlfriend was making it impossible.

"Do you know where Ash is?" Ali asked Chris.

"She's not with you?"

"She got up before I woke up. She didn't leave a note, like usual."

"She might be at the beach." Chris gave her directions and she left to find her girlfriend.
...

"Ashlyn!" Ali called out from the edge of the beach where the water meets the shore. She felt small waves on her feet as she cupped her hands around her mouth and called out to her girlfriend.

Ashlyn saw her and signaled that she would come to her.

Ash had on a wetsuit and her favorite surfboard in hand. Ali would've thought she looked hot if she wasn't so mad at her.

Ashlyn walked up to her like nothing had happened the night before. She even went in for a kiss.

Ali pulled away so that she missed connecting their lips.

"Good morning, beautiful." Ash was trying to charm her way back into Ali's good graces.

"Are you serious right now?" Ali wasn't gonna let her get away with that.

"What?"

"You treated me like crap yesterday. You left this morning without telling me where you were going. Why am I here, Ashlyn? Does this place remind you of your old ways? Are you regretting that you're with me? Do you need to find someone to sleep with really quick so you know you haven't lost it?"

That hurt.

Ashlyn flinched back at Ali's words. Is that's what Ali thinks of her?

Ali felt bad the moment she saw Ashlyn's reaction. She wanted to take it back but she was mad. Ashlyn didn't deserve for her to take it back with the way she's been acting. She held her ground.

Ashlyn put her head back down. This was beginning to be a familiar stance for her. Head down in defeat. Too scared to look into Ali's eyes. Unable to defend herself.

"You're right. Maybe I am second guessing myself. Maybe this place really does remind me of who I REALLY am. Maybe 'this'" Ashlyn pointed to herself and then Ali, "isn't a good idea."

Ashlyn turned around and put her board back down in the water and paddled away. Ali didn't know what to do. She didn't mean what she said. She had nowhere to go. She couldn't go back without Ashlyn. She decided she would sit down and wait Ashlyn out.

...

Ashlyn surfed as long as she could. But she knew she had to face Ali sooner or later. She paddled back to shore.

Ali had fallen asleep waiting for Ashlyn. It wasn't surprising since she didn't get much sleep the previous night.

Ashlyn shook out her hair right next to her making sure to get her all wet.

"Ash, what is your problem?" Ali brushed off the water.

"Well, I could've just left you here." Ash was still mad. "Maybe I could have found someone else to take home to meet my family. You know, since that's such a common thing for me to do."

Ali knew that she was the first real girlfriend that Ash ever made an effort to bring home. There had been other girlfriends who had met Ash's family, but it was never because Ashlyn wanted them too.

"There's a hot brunette over there." Ash pointed to a girl walking towards them. "Maybe I should go fuck her so that you can prove your point about what a terrible person I am."

"Ok, that's enough!" Ali stood up to Ashlyn. She wasn't gonna back down or shy away from a fight, especially if it meant that Ashlyn would actually talk to her. "I'm sorry I said that, ok? I was mad at you. I know you're not like that anymore."

"I was never like that, Alex. I thought you knew me better than to believe that shit." Ashlyn did have a reputation, that was true. But the reputation wasn't true at all.

"Ashlyn, I just want you to talk to me. You keep shutting me out and I have no idea why."

"You don't want to know why, Alex. Just let it go." Ashlyn really didn't want to break-up with Ali. But she knew it would be coming if Ali knew the truth about her.

"Ashlyn, you're my best friend. I love you more than anyone. Please, just talk to me."

"You don't even know me. You don't love me."

Ali was shocked that Ashlyn would even say that. Where was this coming from?

"Ashlyn?" Ali didn't really know what to say.

"Ali..." Ashlyn sat down and used her hands to dig a hole in front of her. As she dug and watched as her fingers moved through the sand she finally opened up to Ali.

"Ali, I'm no good for you. I'm too damaged and you don't deserve the extra baggage that comes with me. The risk is too high." She mirrored her brother's sentiment from dinner the night before.

"Ashlyn, I know about your past. There's nothing wrong with you."

"You don't know everything." Ashlyn didn't explain. She just left it at that.

"Baby," Ali put her hand on Ashlyn's face and turned it towards her. "Is that what this is all about? You're worried I'll find something out and then not want to be with you?"

"It's not just that. You deserve better. It's selfish of me to want you. I'm just gonna hurt you." Ashlyn answered.

"Talk to me, Ash. What is it that we can't handle together?"

"I get scared. When people get too close to me. I worry that they'll leave me. That they'll see me for who I really am. And that they won't want me anymore."

"Why would you think that, Ashlyn?"

"You don't know what's happened to me. You don't know." Ashlyn was tearing up. Ali wanted her to talk. She was definitely talking now.

"What happened to you?"

Ashlyn lost her breath. Ali didn't realize that just by asking her to talk about it she was asking her to re-live it. Ash wasn't sure if her heart could take the rush of emotions, but she would try. For Ali.

"Honestly, there are too many things to count. But I don't want to hide anything from you anymore."

Ashlyn went on to explain in detail a few instances of the abuse that she had endured in her young life. She told Ali about the countless people who abandoned her and left her to try to survive on her own. She told her about the drug deals and the violence that she witnessed. She told her that she still finds it hard to sleep in the dark, for fear that someone's going to sneak into her room and hurt her again.

All Ali could do was weep. Ashlyn was right. She wasn't strong enough. She didn't offer any wise words of comfort. She didn't promise that everything would turn out ok. She just cried.

...

Ashlyn was positive that she scared Ali away. She knew that it was just a matter of time before they had 'the talk' and this fairy tale she was temporarily living would end.

Ashlyn figured it would happen once they returned home. Ali would probably call her from Germany and let her know that it wasn't gonna work out. She was on borrowed time and it hurt to even look at Ali.

...

Ali asked her to go for a walk with her after dinner their last night in Florida. Ash thought she had more time. She reluctantly agreed.

Ali wasn't surprised with the way Ashlyn was acting. Ash was very honest with her about her fears when she told her about everything else. Ali needed time to process.

It was true. Ashlyn was a risk. It was going to cost Ali a lot to continue to love her and stay with her. She wanted to make sure that it was something she would be able to do.

She knew that if somewhere down the road she couldn't handle it, it would have been better to go their separate ways now.

A clean break is better sooner than later.

The two women had walked almost a mile before Ali broke the silence. She knew Ashlyn had done enough talking and she needed to be the brave one this time. She spotted a bench at a nearby park and led Ashlyn to it. She had Ash sit down while she paced back and forth in front of her. Ashlyn remained still except for her right leg that bounced nervously as she waited for Ali to break up with her.

"I'm sorry about the other day. I didn't know what to say. I appreciate you being honest with me." Ali would look at Ashlyn every now and then as she walked back and forth. Ashlyn kept her head down, waiting for Ali's final blow.

"You are a big risk, Ashlyn. You've been hurt so deeply. And I don't know how to help you." Ashlyn nodded her head up and down slowly. Everything Ali said was absolutely true.

"Ash, I love you so much. But it hurts me to see you like this. These terrible things that have happened to you, such...."Ali's voice cracked. "Such terrible things. But they don't define who you are."

Ashlyn noticed a change in Ali's tone from heart broken to hopeful.

"Love is a risk, in itself. I believe good things for you, Ashlyn, because you are good. Bad things may have happened to you but you have remained you through them. You are so good. And kind. And loving. You're funny. You would do anything to make me smile. And even though you have an inner urge to run away when people get close...here you are. You never ran from me. You were the one who waited when I was confused. You were the one who kept loving me when I pushed you away. Ashlyn, you say I don't deserve you because you're damaged...I don't deserve you because you're perfect!"

Ali watched as large tear drops fell from Ashlyn's face. She went to her and knelt down in front of her. She put her hands on Ashlyn's thighs, finally stopping the nervous bounce.

"Ashlyn, the risk is high. But you're more than worth it."

Ashlyn fell forward into Ali's arms. She cried into her shoulder and let someone bring her comfort for ALL of her scars for the first time.

Ali was willing to hurt with her. Ali was willing to go through the darkness and walk with her into the the light.

Ali saw Ashlyn for who she was and not for what has happened to her. Ali saw her as the love of her life. Ashlyn was her future and she wasn't gonna let her go.

Chapter Text

"Alex!" Ashlyn was practically jumping up and down on the sidelines at the Spirit's practice. Ali saw her wife and hurried over.

"What is it? Are the kids ok?" Ali asked. Ashlyn had to catch her breath. Ali noticed she had tears in her eyes. "Baby, what is it?" Ali used both hands to steady Ashlyn.

Ashlyn looked her wife in the eye and announced, "I've been cleared for normal activity! I've got my stuff, but I wanted to tell you before I jumped into practice." Ashlyn was ecstatic.

"Wait, slow down. What exactly did he say?" Ali had her doubts. She knew Ashlyn was anxious to get back on the field and would do just about anything to make that happen.

"He said I was cleared for normal activity. I just told you that." Ashlyn didn't understand why Ali didn't seem more excited.

"Let me call him first before you do anything."

"Do you think I'm lying to you?" Ashlyn was hurt that her wife didn't trust her.

"No, not at all. It's just most people's normal activity doesn't involve diving to the ground or potentially getting kicked in the head. I just want to make sure." Ali said protectively.

"Make sure? Ali, I'm telling you what he said. He knows what I do for a living."

"What about your headaches? You're not better."

"He said I will probably get them all my life. But it's not dangerous for me to play. It's not gonna make it worse. If I get injured again then it will be a new injury, it won't worsen the old one."

Ali wasn't convinced, but how could she tell Ashlyn not to play? She asked Ashlyn for one more day.

"Sweetheart, please just wait until I can talk to him. It will make me feel better to hear it from him. Just one more day."

"Ali, it's been so long! Why can't you just trust me?" Ashlyn begged.

"I do trust you. Please, just one more day."

Ali could tell her wife was disappointed but Ashlyn agreed to her request, even though she hated having to wait longer. She knew Ali had been through a lot and she wanted to be sensitive to her feelings too.

...

Ali found out for herself that Ashlyn had been cleared. She knew that she should be happy for her wife, but instead she was terrified. Ashlyn was reckless when it came to playing. She was willing to sacrifice her body if it meant making a save. Ali didn't think she could handle watching Ashlyn get hurt again. Every save, every dive, sent Ali's blood pressure through the roof.

The Spirit were still fighting for a playoff spot. Ashlyn had a week to prove to her coaches that she could play. Ali was a nervous wreck. She watched her wife make great diving saves and push extra hard in the gym.

She hated thinking about what an aggressive forward on an opposing team might try to do to score, especially with a playoff spot on the line. The stakes were high at the end of the season. The playoff race was tight. She worried Ashlyn would be on the receiving end of a dangerous play.

...

Ali finished up her drills with the defensive players and started her cool down stretches. She instinctively looked for her wife. This was not an uncommon action for her. Whether on the soccer field or not, her wife is usually who her eyes search for first.

Ali found Ashlyn lying on the ground with her legs and arms spread out. She watched for a moment to try and figure out what was going on. Ashlyn didn't move. Ali bolted towards her to check on her.

Ali knelt down next to her. "Ash, are you ok?"

"Huh?" Ashlyn opened her eyes and squinted up towards her wife. The sun was bright behind Ali and Ashlyn was trying to keep it from blinding her.

"Are you ok?" Ali put her hand on Ashlyn's stomach.

"I'm fine. It's just I'm out of shape. All these drills have worn me out!"

"That's it? You're ok. You didn't hurt yourself?" Ali was worried that the doctor was wrong and had cleared her wife too soon.

"That's it. I swear!" Ashlyn sat up and put her hand on her wife's thigh. "Stop worrying. I'm fine. I promise."

"Ashlyn..." Ali was torn. She needed her wife to know the extent of her fears for her own peace of mind, but she also knew that coming back from a serious injury requires mental toughness. She didn't want to add to Ashlyn's stress level. "It's nothing. I just saw you down on the ground and you weren't moving, so..."

"Ohhhh. No worries, babe. I'm fine." Ash smiled and helped her wife to her feet.

Ali would have to open up to Ashlyn some other time.

...

Coach Parsons decided to start Ashlyn in goal for their next game. He figured she could provide some inspiration for the team and give the fans something to get excited and cheer about. He also thought that if she needed to be taken out for whatever reason, that half time would be a good time to evaluate her and make sure she was ok. He really wanted to win, but his players' health was always the team's priority.

Ashlyn stood next to Washington Spirit team captain, Ali Krieger-Harris as the team filed out of the locker room for the national anthem. Ali could tell Ashlyn was nervous. She didn't blame her. She was probably more nervous than her wife.

The game was intense, as expected. Ashlyn made a lot of saves that made Ali flinch. At half time she couldn't help but intrude on the conversation between Mark and Ashlyn.

"How are you feeling?" Coach Parson's asked.

"I feel fine. Great, actually." Ashlyn replied. Ali came up next to Ashlyn and put a hand on her arm.

"Maybe you should take it easy. Chantel can take over from here." Ali suggested.

Ashlyn couldn't believe what her wife just said. "Ali, I'm fine." Coach Parson's could see that this was a case of an over worried wife.

"Ashlyn, I'm going to leave it up to you. You look great out there. I'll leave you two alone." The coach excused himself and left the women to their own discussion.

"You just suggested, in front of our coach, that he play someone else instead of me." Ashlyn was angry and most of all hurt. Ali knew how much her wife missed playing. She knew as a pro player herself that the worst feeling in the world is to sit on the bench when your team is playing. And that's the idea Ali had put in the mind of their coach. To take Ashlyn out.

"Ash, you need to take it easy. They're playing rough out there."

"You don't trust me." Ashlyn concluded. It was a simple sentence but the weight of it was heavy on her lips.

"I trust you, Ashlyn. But why risk it?" Ali knew she only had a few short moments before the team would have to return to the field.

"You don't trust me, Alex. You don't trust me as your keeper or as your wife. I can't have this conversation right now. We have a game to win. You're our captain. Maybe you should try to make your team mates feel better about themselves instead of tell the coach to take them out, right in front of their face. If it's too much to ask for you to be a supportive wife then maybe you can just try to be a good captain." Ashlyn left it at that. She was the first to leave the locker room.

She couldn't get far enough away from Ali.

...

Ali gave Ashlyn her space. She knew her wife was right and she needed to at least be a good team captain. In this case, that meant letting Ashlyn do what she does, the way she wants to do it. If it were any other team mate she would give them the freedom to play. She would trust their judgment and support them until it was proven that they couldn't perform in a way that was helpful to the team.

Ali hated playing games when her and Ashlyn weren't united. She hated anytime they weren't on the same page. The final 45+ minutes were straining. She felt guilty. She felt nervous. She was unsettled. And the only one that could set her straight again was Ashlyn.

The Spirit won after a heroic save of a Wambach penalty kick. Ashlyn was the star of the game. She won player of the match easily. Her comeback was a great success and they were one win away from the playoffs. She should have been elated but it all left a bitter taste in her mouth because of the discord with her wife.

Ali sheepishly approached her wife.

"Great game."

"Thanks." Ashlyn wasn't really in the mood for talking.

"Ash, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"No. I'm gonna go get the kids." Their children made signs and cheered loudly for Ashlyn. She wanted to let them know how much it meant to her to have their support. Ali could wait. She wanted to be with the people who actually believed in her.

"Ashlyn, hold on." Ali grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"Don't touch me." Ashlyn pulled her arm back and reacted as if Ali was an enemy.

"Ashlyn, you know I'm sorry. Please at least give me a chance to apologize."

Abby's congratulatory hug prevented Ali from making things right.

"Hey bud, great game. You had some crazy saves. Why did you have to choose this game to come back?" Abby joked.

"If Ali had her way I would never come back." Ashlyn gave Abby a pat on the back and left.

"What did I walk in on?" Abby felt the tension between the couple.

"She interprets my worrying about her as me not trusting her." Ali explained.

"Ah, I see. Sorry, man. I gotta say, though. I totally understand where Ashlyn's coming from. Sarah is the same way with me. It drives me nuts."

"Abby, you're supposed to try and make me feel better, not worse."

"Oh yeah. Sorry. Do you want me to go yell at Ash for over reacting?" It wouldn't be the first time Abby treated Ashlyn like a younger sibling.

"No. I need to take care of this one on my own. Thanks, though."

Ali left to go join her family. She found Ashlyn with both Lexi and Sam in her arms as she walked around the field greeting team mates and old friends from the Flash. Jacob shyly followed behind them. Ali snuck up beside Jake and put an arm around his waist. He brightened up immediately. He felt more comfortable with Ali there.

"Did you enjoy the game?" Ali asked her oldest son.

"Not really. I was nervous Mama would get hurt." He admitted.

"I was a little nervous, myself." Ali was glad she wasn't the only one. "But she played great. We won because of her." Ali really was proud of her wife.

"Yeah, she had some great saves. Grandpa said he didn't think anyone could have stopped that pk. It was a sick save, for sure."

"Yeah." Ali thought back on the save and was finally able to appreciate it. "Yeah, it really was a great save." She stared at her wife with admiration. Being a fan of soccer, as well as a defensive player, made her understand how rare those kind of saves are. Her wife was amazing.

...

Back in the locker room Ali was waiting for her wife to finish up in the shower so they could go home. Ash knew her wife was waiting. She knew she felt bad. But Ashlyn was still hurt by the way Ali acted at half time.

Ashlyn took an extra long shower.

Ashlyn finally joined her wife at her locker. She had on only a towel and walked right by Ali without acknowledging her.

"That took a while." Ali broke the silence. Ashlyn was mad and Ali felt bad, but she wasn't gonna let her ignore her.

"Yup." Ashlyn dropped her towel, without a thought. Her and Ali were the last two in the room and her wife had seen her naked a million times. Ashlyn was unaware of her wife's recent change of heart and flat out state of awe at the performance she gave in her comeback game.

Ali's mind went blank. She took in her wife's tight muscular body and suddenly forgot how to form words.

Ashlyn noticed.

"Are you serious right now, Alex?" Ashlyn wasn't done being upset.

"What?" Ali was stirred out of her lustful thoughts.

Ashlyn couldn't stay mad for long. She surrendered her anger and gave a small smile to her wife.

"Sorry. Your uhh..." Ali pointed toward Ashlyn's nude body. "..everything...uh distracted me."

"Yeah, I noticed." Ashlyn quickly put on some clothes and helped her wife up off the chair she was sitting on.

"Ash, I'm sorry if I made it seem like I didn't believe in you or trust you. I just kept picturing you in a hospital bed. I'm afraid I'm gonna lose you. I'm so sorry. And you were right....and you were great today. I mean really great."

Ashlyn gave an exaggerated look of shock. "Wait, what did you just say?"

"You were great." Ali said with a smile.

"No, not that. The other thing."

When Ali realized what her wife was referring to she rolled her eyes and said, "I said....YOU WERE RIGHT...ok? Is that what you're looking for?"

The two had a laugh together and Ali let her wife have bragging rights for the night. She deserved it, anyways. She really was great.

"Al, I understand why you were worried. But this is our job. I need you to support me. I can't be my best without you by my side."

"I know. But you can't blame me for worrying. Our family went through a tramatic time together. It's not something any of us will be able to forget. Please just be patient with me. And PLEASE be careful." Ali begged.

"I'll promise to be patient and careful, if you promise to be my number one fan...and give me kisses and victory sex."

"Wow, you drive a hard bargain." Ali stepped into her wife and put her arms around her neck. "Too bad you already got dressed. I could've kept my end of the bargain right away. We could've had some fun."

"What? We can still have fun." Ash started to take off her shirt.

"Sorry, baby. Our family is waiting for us. We gotta go." Ali picked up her bag and strutted out of the locker room, leaving Ashlyn to take in her perfect figure as she left.

Ashlyn shook her head and found her senses. "Babe, wait! I can be fast."

Ali spent the evening teasing her wife, but once the kids went to bed and the women had some privacy, Ali made sure to make it up to her. And it was definitely worth the temporary frustration.

Chapter Text

"I'm four! I'm four! I'm four! I'm four!" Sam was running around the house with four fingers held up high for all to see.

He actually wasn't four. His birthday was the next day but all the birthday talk going on made him think it already happened.

Jacob was sitting cross legged right in front of the tv playing a video game. Samuel stopped to tell him his new age and wrapped his arms around his neck from behind. He held on loosely and rocked his big brother back and forth saying "I'm four!" over and over.

"No you're not. Stop choking me." Sam wasn't choking Jake, he was annoying him.

"No! I'm four!" Sam was a very affectionate kid who had no idea what personal space was.

"Get off of me!" Jake reached back and smacked Sam in the back of the head. Sam immediately started to cry.

Jake paused his game and turned toward Sam. "Shhh! You're fine. I barely touched you." He tried to grab Sam and calm him down.

Sam only cried all the more loudly.

"Mommy!" Sam screamed for Ali.

"Sam, stop. You're ok." Jake put his hand over Sam's mouth to try to quiet him down. He was still holding him tight with his other arm.

Sam wiggled and tried to free himself but his brother was too big and much stronger than him.

Ashlyn was outside with Monster and Lex while this was going on. She opened the sliding glass door and the dog ran straight for Sam. Monster started barking and then tugging at Jake's pant leg. He was trying to rescue his boy.

"What's going on?" Ashlyn asked. She went straight to the boys and took Sam from Jacob.

Samuel clung to her tightly. "Mama, he hit me!

"No, I didn't! I just moved him. He was choking me." Jacob half lied to his mother.

"No! He hit me on my head." Sam cried.

"Jacob, I'm gonna ask you again. Keep in mind that I can see a red mark on your brother's head. What happened?"

Ashlyn wasn't playing around. She knew her boys were fighting. Siblings fight. She wasn't too concerned about that. What she was concerned about, however, was that Jake had lied to her.

"I didn't hit him." Jake couldn't even look at his mother. Now he had lied to her twice.

Ashlyn had a crying almost 4 year old in her arms. She needed to handle Sam first.

"Jacob, go to your room, please. I'll be up in a few minutes."

Jake nodded and quietly obeyed.

"Sam-Bam, can you try to calmly tell me what happened?" Ash asked in a calm and soothing tone.

Sam sniffed a couple times and wiped his eyes. He said, "Jakeys hit me." The little boy rubbed the spot on his head where his brother's hand made contact.

"What happened right before that?" Ashlyn asked. As soon as it looked like Sam had calmed down, Ali walked through the front door. Sam saw her and started crying again.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes. She definitely believed that her son had a reason to cry but this second wave was all for show. He wanted extra sympathy from his protective Mommy.

"Oh no! What happened?" Ali came straight for the boy. He held out his arms. She pulled him into a comforting hug.

"I'm still trying to figure that out. Sam said Jake hit him. Jake denies it. He was calmed down and then you came and "Ash sighed "here we are." Ashlyn was frustrated.

"Where's Jacob?"

"I sent him to his room."

"Does he deserve that?" Ali hadn't seen the red mark on Sam's head. She knew he exaggerated from time to time so she wanted to make sure their oldest wasn't being falsely accused.

"I know he hit him. And then he straight up lied about it." Ash explained.

"But how do you know? I seem to remember a game of hide-n-seek where he accused you of hitting him."

"Alex, I know he did it. Sam had a red mark on his head."

Ali's eyes filled with sadness at the thought of her little boy getting hit hard enough to leave a mark.

Samuel kept his head tight in the crook of Ali's neck.

"We're not getting anywhere with this." Ashlyn huffed and left her wife to deal with Sam's tears.

"Ashlyn, be nice." Ali instructed as she watched her wife climb the steps towards Jacob's room.

Ashlyn took a few deep breaths before she entered Jacob's room.

The boy left his door open so he would know when she was coming. He was terrified. This was his first real experience with being disciplined by Ashlyn. Most of the time he and Ashlyn were more like buddies than parent and child. He didn't know what to expect.

"Can I come in, Jacob?"

"Yeah." He replied quietly.

Ashlyn sat next to him on his bed. Neither of them looked at each other. Ashlyn took a few more calming breaths and then asked her son one more time...

"Did you hit your little brother?"

Jake sighed and sadly said, "Yes ma'am."

"Why did you hit him?"

"Because he was bugging me."

"What was he doing?" Ash asked.

"He kept yelling that he was four. He hung off my neck and yelled it in my ear. And he kept bumping me."

"Did he choke you like you said?"

"No." Jake felt guilty and ashamed.

He was still in that place where his adoption was new enough that he worried about getting in trouble and his parents regretting their decision to make him a part of their family.

"You shouldn't hit your brother. I understand that he can be annoying. I've had this talk with your sister a million times. He might be bugging you but he's not doing it on purpose. He's an excited kid who loves his family. He especially loves his big brother."

Jake nodded. He still couldn't look at Ashlyn.

"Siblings fight. I'm not saying I approve, but I understand. Ok?" She nudged her son with her shoulder.

He just nodded. Ash could see remorse written all over his face.

"Jake, there are two offenses today. Actually, there's technically three. But I'm only gonna punish you for two, this time."

Ashlyn turned so that she was facing him.

"Look at me, son." He lifted his face and obeyed. "The first offense is that you hurt your brother. I don't have to lecture you about how lucky you are to have each other, so I'll leave it at that. Your punishment is no soccer with Grandpa for a week."

"What?! That's not fair! I barely touched him." Jake objected.

"Son, any type of violent touching is, as your mom would say, 'unacceptable.' That's it. There's no debate."

"Ok."

"The second offense, and this one is really two offenses in one, is that you lied to me. You lied to me twice."

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to get in trouble." He explained.

"I know. It's human nature to try to cover up our mistakes, but it always ends up hurting us in the end. Face your failures and move on. But most importantly don't lie to the ones who love you."

For the first time Ashlyn's voice cracked. Jacob had hurt her when he lied to her. And then he hurt her again when he lied the second time.

"I'm sorry, Mama." He grabbed her hand as if to offer comfort.

"I forgive you. But you need to know something. I'm not gonna let you get away with doing wrong things, but I will always love you no matter what you do. You don't have to pretend to be perfect. And you never have to be afraid to talk to me. It's not gonna change how I feel about you."

"Ok, Mama. I really am sorry."

"I know. Like I said, I forgive you. I want you to apologize to Sam too. And because you lied to me....no video games for two weeks."

You would've thought Ashlyn cut off his right arm.

"I can't live without games for TWO WEEKS!"

Ashlyn wanted to laugh at how dramatic and devastated her teenager was acting but she knew that would be the wrong response.

"I think you'll survive." She helped the boy up to his feet. "Let's go apologize to Sam so we can be one big happy family again."

"Ok." Jake was not at all looking forward to the next two weeks, but he certainly learned his lesson.

...

Jake and Sam made up instantly. They spent the rest of the day playing together in the back yard. Sam was never one to hold a grudge and Jake wasn't allowed to play video games so there really wasn't anything else to do but hang out with his younger siblings anyway.

...

The next day Ashlyn awoke with Sam's weight on her stomach. She opened her eyes to find his face inches from her own.

"Mama, I'm four!" He whispered. Ali had told him he could wait for Ashlyn to wake up if he was quiet.

"Hmmm." Ashlyn groan a little. "Yes, you are, Bam."

He stayed in place, staring at her with a big smile on his face. He whispered again. "Mama, I'm four!"

Ashlyn laughed. He was showing quite a bit of restraint for a little boy who was bursting with excitement.

"I know. What do you think Mommy made for your birthday breakfast?"

"Pancakes!"

"What kind?"

"Chocolate!" He went from whisper to yelling in a few seconds. Chocolate chip birthday pancakes were too much excitement for him to contain.

Ashlyn sat up slowly and let the boy climb on her back. She gave him a piggy back ride to the kitchen.

"There's my birthday boy!" Ali gave Sam a kiss and made a big deal about how big he was getting and how special he was to her.

"Mommy, I'm four!" He started up again.

Ash gave Jake a look of warning as if to remind him that patience is the expectation in a moment like this.

Jake got the message.

"Happy birthday, Sam!" Jacob said. "How old are you today?" He laughed and gave his Mama a smile.

"I'm four!" Sam cheered

Poor Lex was not amused. She just rolled her eyes.

"How many is four, Sam?" Ali asked.

Sam really had to think about it. They were working on his counting and he did pretty good but reciting numbers and calculating are two different things.

Ali was a pro at helping him and she put up one finger. "Remember...one," she put up two fingers, "two," three fingers, "three," four fingers, "and four."

Sam was mimicking Ali's fingers and copying what she would say a split second after she would say the number.

"I'm four!" This time he held up four fingers and cheered because he knew he got it right.

"You are four. And you're smart. And handsome. And adorable. And cute. And funny. And talented. And my favorite four year old in the whole wide world." Ali was really laying it on thick.

Sam loved all the attention and compliments. He felt special. Every time Ali would pay him a compliment he did a little wiggle dance in his chair as a mini celebration.

...

The birthday party was made up of friends, family and team mates. It was super hero themed and everyone dressed up like their favorite hero.

They had a bounce house set up in the back yard and hired some people to come who dressed up like the Avengers. A lot of Sam and Lexi's friends from daycare were there along with their parents.

Ali made a Superman cake and served snow cones.

"Babe, do you need me to do anything?" Ash asked. She was wearing a button up, suit vest, and glasses, like Clark Kent, and had a superman logo t-shirt showing underneath her unbuttoned shirt. Ali was dressed as Lois Lane.

"No, I think we're all set here, but I do want to get a family picture while everyone is still in full costume.

The birthday boy dressed as Spider-Man and had silly string bands on his wrists that he could shoot like webs. Jake had a batman costume on and Lex was wonder woman. The family posed for their picture and then the kids swung at an overstuffed piñata.

Once the food was eaten, the presents were opened, and everyone went home, Ashlyn pulled her wife into a hug. "Babe, you're MY hero!"

"Well, you're MINE!" Ali answered.

Ali pulled Ashlyn down a few inches so she could place a kiss on her lips.

"BARF!" Jake walked by at that exact moment. "Aren't you guys a little old for that kind of stuff."

Ashlyn laughed against her wife's lips.

"Excuse you?!" Ali wasn't gonna let some young whipper snapper call her old. "How dare you? We are young and still in our prime, mister!" She gave Jake the old finger wag to make her point.

All Ashlyn could do was laugh. Ali didn't approve.

"What are you laughing at? You're not that much younger than me!"

"I may not be that much younger, but you'll always be older." Ashlyn pulled her wife in for another hug, but Ali was struggling against her attempts to bring her close.

Ashlyn tried to smooth things over. "Calm down, cougar. You're still hot.....even in your old age."

Jake couldn't take it. "I'm outta here." He said and left the two to work out their issues.

...

"I can't believe our baby is four." Ali whined to Ashlyn as they laid in bed trying to fall asleep.

"Yep. But it's ok that we're getting older, babe. Because our best years are yet to come." Ashlyn pulled Ali in closer to her.

"You think so?"

"Oh yeah. I think no matter what we accomplish in our lives, our biggest accomplishments will be our kids. As they grow up we will really know what happiness is."

"I feel like I already know what happiness is. I'm pretty happy with my life now. Why can't I just stay young forever?" Ali pouted.

"Yeah, but think about it. We'll see our protector Jake do such good things for people who need someone to stand up for them. We'll see our little princess grow up to be a beautiful and strong woman, and our little sweet and kind Sam will probably turn into a real life superhero with all that energy he has."

"A real life hero....like his Mama." Ali said sweetly.

The two women agreed that maybe getting older wasn't so bad after all.

Chapter Text

FLASHBACK

After Ali had surprised Ashlyn and visited her for her graduation the two entered into a confusing time in their relationship. Ali had gone back to Germany to sort through her feelings for Ashlyn and admit to herself about her sexuality. Ashlyn had signed with the Flash and spent those months apart trying to quiet the constant pulse that ran through her body, beating only for her best friend.

Once Ash dropped Ali off at the airport she decided that Ali would never see her as someone she could build a life with. Ashlyn decided to move on. Ashlyn tried to forget her, but every conscious thought belonged to the girl in Germany. So Ashlyn did the only thing she knew to do which was to find someone, anyone, who could quiet her thoughts for just one short moment of peace.

She wasn't the type to bring a stranger home with her. She would usually go to a club or bar with her team mates and find someone to talk to for the night. Ashlyn would then drink away her reality and flirt, if needed, to keep a warm body present and interested. She just wanted someone who was available and made and effort to care about her. Ashlyn had sent Ali emails and even an old fashion letter but she ignored them. Ash felt that her heart was heavy and she had no one to help carry it.

This was her normal routine for several months until one evening things got out of hand, and left Ashlyn to consider that if things didn't change then her love for Ali was going to kill her.

The night started like all the others. After a hard day of practice Ashlyn tried to rally a group to go to a local bar. None of her friends ended up going, which meant no one was around to keep an eye on her.

She found a lone barstool and started drinking. The first few shots were on her. Everything after that were provided by a man in his mid twenties. Ashlyn obviously wasn't romantically interested in the man, but she was very interested in the free alcohol that came as a benefit of talking to him.

"Let me get you a fresh drink." A somewhat attractive well-built man said and sat next to Ashlyn.

"Sure." Ashlyn didn't even look up at him.

"I'm Steve." He waited for her to introduce herself but she didn't go for it. "And you are?"

"Ashlyn." She didn't care enough to keep it from him.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this all alone?"

Ashlyn gagged after hearing his stupid line and continued to lift the glass in her hand to her lips.

"So, you got a boyfriend?"

Ash laughed. "Nope."

"A girlfriend?" The man raised an eyebrow and gave a half smile.

"Definitely not." Ashlyn answered. She had been trying so hard to forget Ali and then some idiot brings her mind right back to her.

"Too bad. Lesbians are hot." The guy was an idiot.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes. She decided even free booze wasn't enough to make talking to this guy worth it.

"Thanks for the drinks." Ashlyn pushed the empty glass forward and stepped away from the stool. "Have a good night, man." She started to walk away and Steve grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"Where are you going? We were just getting acquainted."

"Dude, let go of me." Ashlyn pulled her arm out of his grasp and started to walk away. The man jumped out of his seat and rushed to get in front of her.

"Listen, I'm sorry about that. I just got excited because I didn't want our evening to end. I'll leave you alone." He put his hands up in the air like he was surrendering and then walked away. Ashlyn decided to go to the bathroom and then get a cab and go home.

She took a few minutes to straighten herself up. She looked in the mirror and cringed at was she saw. She looked years older than she did when she first got there. Her head was pounding from the loud music and she had to admit that none of it took away the pain that Ali caused.

How did she manage to fall in love with a girl who had no interest in her? Like every other night, Ashlyn was mad at herself for letting her best friend have such a dangerous hold on her.

She washed her face and felt like crying. She decided that she wasn't ready to leave quite yet. The voice of her self-hatred still resonated too loudly for her to ignore. She needed a few more drinks before she would be able to get to sleep that night. She took a seat at the bar again. This time she wedged herself in between two groups of people so that no unwanted person could make their way in.

She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to find a familiar face. Steve was standing there with Ashlyn's favorite drink.

"Hey, I just wanted to apologize if I freaked you out. I got you this." He handed the drink to her. "I'm not gonna bother you anymore. I'm actually gonna get going." He gave her a wave and said, "Nice meeting you."

Ashlyn watched Steve leave through the front door.

Ashlyn had already had too many drinks. She wasn't thinking clearly. She swallowed the burning liquid that he gave her and slammed the glass down on the counter. After a beer to chase down the hard liquor she began to feel dizzy. She knew she had had too much and started to make her way to the front door. She decided it was time to get a cab. A few feet before she reached the door she felt her legs get heavy. They were too heavy. She could no longer use them to stand or walk. The room began to spin and her head felt foggy. She fell forward but was caught by a man standing beside the door.

"Hey darlin', it looks like you changed your mind about me." Steve had been waiting for the powder he put in her drink to finally kick in. He had his arm around her waist and held her up. He helped her walk to the curb and smiled at the taxi driver.

"My girlfriend has had too much to drink." They shared a laugh. "Don't worry. I don't think she'll puke all over your car."

Steve found Ashlyn's license in her purse and told the driver the address to take them too. He leaned her against his shoulder and she was already to out of it to try to push away.

Ashlyn lived alone in a one bedroom apartment. Steve decided this was his lucky day.

He dropped her on her bed and stripped off her clothes. He spoke to her like she was able to understand him. He talked and talked as if they were having a real conversation and were in a real relationship. He was pathetic.

Ashlyn was gone. Her mind and body were useless to fight off her attacker. The man had his way with her. He was rough. He was angry. He was a coward.

...

Ashlyn woke up the next morning with an unfamiliar kind of hangover and an all too familiar ache. Steve was long gone, but she couldn't remember a thing about him anyway. The entire previous night was lost to her.

She showered and examined her battered body. She had bruises and marks all over. It hurt for her to walk and especially to use the bathroom. She knew something sexual happened but she didn't want to know the details. The entire situation brought back horrible memories from when she was a child.

When she was young and defenseless, much like the night before, her foster father would enter her room late at night and sexually assault her. Even now there were nights she could still hear her bedroom door open and creak like it did when she was a kid and her foster dad would let himself in for the sake of hurting her.

Ashlyn stood in front of her bathroom mirror and clung to the sink in front of her. What had happened to her life? She had worked so hard in school and soccer to free herself from the oppression and abuse that she was trapped in growing up. And here she was opening the cell door and willingly walking back into the prison she grew up in.

Steve was truly the one at fault, but Ashlyn couldn't help but blame herself.

...

She wrote Ali a good-bye letter. She felt that the only way to let her go was to let her know her heart.

...

-Ali,

You probably think I'm crazy for writing this letter to you. You probably think that I should have gotten the hint after you've ignored all of my other attempts to talk to you. I don't know what happened between us. You're my best friend. Or at least I thought you were.

In my first letter to you I thanked you for flying all the way to NC to be at my graduation. None of my other friends did that. I thought maybe you had other reasons to come and visit , but it turned out it was just to be a good friend. It's ok. I was glad to have you there either way.

I broke up with Jess. She was kinda the one to start it, but it was because of you. She asked me if I had feelings for you. I said that I did. She slapped me twice. I haven't seen her since. I feel so alone.

I wish you would talk to me. Even if you hate me. I wish you would at least let me know. I have this constant ache in my chest. I've tried everything to get it to go away. I know it's because you're gone. I imagine it's my heart trying to find a way to break free from me so that it can take it's proper place with you. I feel like no matter where I go or what I do, I will never find happiness if it doesn't involve you.

Since the last time I spoke to you, I found out you were gay. I don't know why you would hide this from me. Remember? I'm the one that thought you were gay when we first met.The only reason I can think of that you would keep something like this from me is because you think that I would make a move. So, I figure if you are trying to avoid that from happening it must mean the only 'move' you want me to make is away from you.

I've set myself on a destructive course since you've last seen me. And I can't do that anymore. My love for you is killing me. I have to give you up. I'm sure we will see each other in the future. Our careers will intersect many times. Soccer is all I have now, so I can't give that up too. When those occasions come, I beg you to stay away. Loving you is too easy. And loving you is too hard.

I want more than anything for you to be happy, Alex. I want you to know love and to be accepted for who you are. I know from personal experience what it means to feel unloved. I know what it means to be rejected. And I don't ever want you to know that pain.

I am not angry at you. I don't blame you, actually. I have never known happiness and wouldn't know how to give it to you. I'm choosing to walk away. I'm choosing to do the right thing for you, and say goodbye. I can't hold on anymore. I'm just not strong enough.

I will never regret loving you.

-Ash
...

Ashlyn never sent that letter. She kept it in her wallet as a reminder of her commitment to move on. Of course, keeping it meant she was still holding on. Ali would always be the one thing Ashlyn couldn't let go of.

Chapter Text

"So..." Ali said getting ready to sweet talk her wife into changing her mind.

"Sooooooo..." Ashlyn dramatically repeated.

"So, I was thinking."

"Uh, oh." Ash knew her wife was going to try to talk her into something.

"What?" Ali acted offended. But this was just part of her strategy. If Ash thought she was offended then she would want to make it up to her and was more likely to give in to her request.

"Ok cut the crap, Alex. What do you want?" Ashlyn knew something was coming and it might as well come sooner rather than later.

"I was thinking that since my dad is coming over today that maybe you can change your mind about letting Jake play soccer with him."

"Alex, it's been 4 days. He still has 3 more days of punishment."

"Yeah, but he is also grounded from video games for another 10 days. I just think that the time he spends with my dad is really important. Soccer brings them together. You remember how he was when they first met. I think its a really good thing for him to spend time with him."

"He can still hang out with him. He just can't play soccer." Ashlyn didn't see the problem.

"Baby, just think about it." Ali knew exactly how to handle Ashlyn. She started to play with the drawstring of her wife's sweat pants. "He loves playing and he's been working so hard." Ali pulled on the string bringing Ashlyn even closer to her.

Ashlyn wasn't thinking about Jake's punishment anymore. She was thinking about the way her wife's body felt pressed up against her.

"Ok." Ash answered. She leaned in to kiss the smile that was forming on her wife's lips.

"Thank you, Love." Ali said between kisses. She was ready to show her wife exactly how much she appreciated her decision.

Their oldest child would have to wait until later to hear the verdict of his punishment. Ali was busy thanking her wife.

...

"Gramps!" Sam ran to his Grandpa and jumped into his arms.

"Hi, Dad." Ali dodged Sam's bouncing body to give her father a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi, sweetheart." He always loved seeing his daughter and grandkids. It was a blessing to him to have them so close to where he lived.

Jacob greeted his Grandfather excitedly. "Grandpa, I'm allowed to play soccer today."

"Really?" Ali's Dad looked at her for confirmation.

"Ashlyn decided that he deserved a break from his punishment." Ali was happy to give her wife all the credit for the decision change.

Grandpa and both grandsons cheered for Jake's release. Jacob ran to get his soccer ball so that he could show his Grandfather some new tricks he had been trying out.

"Where's my other daughter and my little princess?"

"Ash took Lex on a special date today. She felt like they needed some bonding time."

Sam used his little fingers to pull on his Grandpa's earlobe. He pulled it towards his lips and whispered. "Gramps, I'm four."

The adults laughed together. The boy was still excited about his birthday from a few days ago.

"I know. You wanna know how I can tell?" Grandpa asked.

"How?" The boy whispered.

"You're heavier now that you're four. I can barely lift you." Ali's dad pretended to drop him and then caught him right at the last moment.

"I'm not heavy!" Sam giggled.

Ken kept pretending to drop him, so Sam grabbed hold of his neck and hung on with his legs dangling until Ali put an end to it.

"Ok, enough hanging off of your Grandpa. You're gonna break his neck."

"I break your neck, Gramps?" Samuel was worried.

"No, your Mommy forgets how tough I am." He put the boy down just in time for Jake to kick his soccer ball to him.

"Jacob! You know better than to kick a ball in the house." Jake's excitement gave him a momentary lapse of judgment.

"Whoops! Sorry, Mom." He grabbed the ball from the floor and carried it out to the back yard.

"You're so strict." Ali's dad joked. "You remind me of your mom when you were a kid. I seem to remember a few broken items because of you and Kyle kicking a ball around."

"Exactly! That's why I know he needs to keep it outside. I've learned from experience. And now I'm the one who has to pay to replace the stuff." Ali laughed.

...

Ashlyn took Lexi out for lunch and then to see an amateur ballet performance at a local community college. Lex was tough when she played soccer and dealt with her brothers, but she also appreciated the finer beautiful things in life too.

She watched in amazement as the dancers moved with grace. She taught Ashlyn a few things about the moves and build up of the music. Ashlyn really appreciated her daughter's passion and intelligence.

"Princess, are you ready to go home or do you wanna go for a walk in the park?"

"I don't want to go home yet, Mama. I like it when it's just me and you."

Lex was loving all of the extra attention. She was a lot calmer than Sam and smaller than Jake. She often felt like she just blended into the background and her brothers got all the attention.

Ashlyn took her to get an ice cream cone and Lex grabbed her Mama's hand to hold as they walked around the busy park.

Ash asked her what her favorite thing was that has happened in the last week. She quickly said going on a date with Ashlyn. When Ash asked about her least favorite part of the week, she admitted that she had been having bad dreams that had caused her to lose a lot of sleep.

"You've been having bad dreams a lot, huh?"

Lexi nodded sadly.

"What are your bad dreams about?"

"It's dark and everyone is running away from me. I can't catch you."

"Who's everybody? Who's running away from you?" Ash asked.

"You and Mommy and Jake and Sammy." Lex started to tear up.

"My little princess." Ashlyn knelt down in front of her and made sure to look right into her eyes. "That IS a bad dream, Lex. I'm so sorry. But it's just a dream. We will only ever run towards you." Lex smiled and hugged her Mama.

Ash continued. "Unless you're yelling at your brother...then he might actually run from you, but only for a minute." She laughed.

Lex laughed too. "I can always catch him. He's too slow."

"It's cuz he has little mini legs. You're just too fast!"

Lex was feeling better already.

"Lex, I want you to come and wake me up anytime you have a bad dream. Your Mommy and I want to make sure you always know how much we love you. Our family wouldn't be complete without you."

Lex smiled widely. "I love you, Mama!"

"I love you too, Princess Lex." Ash surprised her daughter by sneaking a taste of her ice cream cone.

"Mama!"

"What? I was just keeping it from dripping all over your pretty dress."

Lexi was too smart to believe her Mama's excuse. She settled the argument by getting Ash to give her a taste of her own ice cream too.

...

The two returned home with smiles and laughter. Ash gave her daughter a piggy back ride from the car to the house. Ali gave them both welcome home kisses.

"Did you have fun with Mama today?" Ali asked.

"Yeah! We went to the ballet!"

Ash lowered herself so Lex could climb off her back.

"Lexi, Grandpa is here and he's been waiting to see you." Ali pointed towards their backyard and Lex hurried to see him.

After Lex left, Ashlyn told Ali about the dreams their daughter had been having. The two planned to be extra watchful over their daughter to make sure she felt loved and safe.

...

That night poor Lexi had the same nightmare again. She climbed up into her parent's bed and tapped on Ashlyn's shoulder. Ash didn't even flinch. Ali, on the other hand, felt the bed dip as soon as her daughter joined them in bed.

"Sweetheart, are you ok?" Ali asked.

"Mama said I can come in here if I have a bad dream." Lex had big tears in her eyes.

"You're always welcome, sweetheart." Ali opened up her arms to Lexi and held her tight.

...

The next morning Sam and Monster woke his Mama and sister up. Ali had told Sammy to let them sleep but he seemed to have used up all his patience pretty quickly. He decided that if Monster was the one to wake them up then it would be ok.

He set his dog on top of Ashlyn's chest and let the dogs friendly tail wagging and face licking do the rest. Ashlyn woke up quickly and Lexi was close behind.

"Mama!" Sam saw that his mom was semi-awake and climbed up to join his dog on top of her.

"Sam-Bam." Ash didn't sound quite as excited as Sam was to be awake.

"Mommy's makin' pancakes." Sam loved Ali's pancakes.

"Ok." Ash loved to sleep.

The boy laid his head down on Ashlyn's chest and she thought she might actually get a few more minutes of sleep until the boy started talking again.

"Mama, I can hear your heart." He put his ear back down against her chest. "It goes whoosh, whoosh." He tried to mimic the sound.

"Alright Bud, why don't we get some pancakes." Ash wanted to keep sleeping but her son's extra attention made it impossible.

Ashlyn carried both her kids down to breakfast and dropped Sam off in the kitchen. She gave Ali a kiss and took Lex to the living room, where the two of them could continue their quest for more sleep.

"What's wrong with them?" Jake asked.

"Lex had a bad dream last night. Once your Mama woke up with her she had a hard time falling asleep too." Ali said.

"What kind of bad dream?" Jake was worried about his sister. He knew what is was like to have a nightmare every now and then.

"I think it's mostly about her feeling like she doesn't belong. Your mom and I have talked about it and we are gonna give her a little extra attention to confirm to her that she is a important part of this family."

Jacob took in everything his Mom said and thought about it the rest of the day. Being reunited with his family made him feel that he needed to watch over them and protect them. He didn't like that Lexi didn't feel like she belonged.

...

The following night the family went through their nightly bedtime routine. The kids were bathed, read to, kissed, and tucked in.

Ashlyn had fallen asleep almost immediately once her head hit the pillow. Ali finished up her own bedtime routine and joined her snoring wife in bed. She gave her wife a soft kiss and then shimmied her way underneath Ashlyn's arm and rested her head on Ash's shoulder.

The women had slept for a few hours before Ali heard a stirring down the hall. It took her a few minutes to wake up enough to decide to check on the noise she heard.

She checked in Lexi's room first and saw that her bed was empty. She looked in Sam's room and he was missing too.

Finally she looked in Jake's room and found all three kids, plus a tired golden retriever sharing Jacob's twin bed. Jake had one arm around each sibling. Ali's heart melted. She had the best kids in the world.

The next morning Ali asked the kids how they all ended up in Jake's room. Jacob said he heard Lex talking in her sleep and decided to carry her to his room. Monster woke Sam up and they checked on the other two kids. When Jake told Sam that Lex had a bad dream he decided that both he and Monster needed to stay close by to protect his sister.

After that night Lexi's dreams became less frequent and she felt more confident in her place in the family. Ali and Ash could not have been more proud of their kids.

Ali was so pleased with her son's protective ways with the younger kids that she tried to convince her wife to shorten his video game punishment too.

"So," Ali said to her wife. "I was thinking...."

Chapter Text

"Mama" Sam looked so sad snuggled close to Ashlyn in their favorite recliner. "My tummy hurts." The little boy whined.

He had eaten an entire box of cookies. Somehow he snuck it out of the grocery bag when Ali was putting the groceries away. He had them hidden in his room for a week. He completely forgot they were still there until he stumbled upon them in his toy box. Apparently his toy box was a very good hiding spot.

He spent the next half hour eating the entire package. Ashlyn found him with chocolate all over his face and hands. The poor little guy was on his bedroom floor groaning.

"I know, Bam. You ate too many cookies. You'll feel better in a little bit. You need to let your tummy settle down. Next time make better decisions about what you eat." Ashlyn tried to comfort him but he was miserable.

"Ow, Mama." The boy cried. He was holding his upset stomach and moaning.

All Ashlyn could do was wait it out with him. She held him close and gave him kisses.

...

Ali brought home pizza and their two older kids. Lex headed straight for Ashlyn.

"Mama, can I sit with you and Sammy?"

"Of course, princess." Ashlyn helped the girl up and held both of her smallest children in her lap.

"Mama?" Jacob put a hand on Ash's shoulder. "Do you want me to get you some food or something to drink?"

Ashlyn scrunched her eyebrows together. She looked at Lexi, who was holding on tight to Ashlyn's neck and then at Jake who was waiting to take her lunch order.

"What's going on?" Ashlyn asked. Jacob shrugged his shoulders and stayed silent.

Ali handed him and her wife a plate and gave Ash a kiss as greeting.

"Al, what's up with the kids?"

"What do you mean?" She acted ignorant, but knew all about the plan they had come up with on their way home.

Ashlyn looked down at Sam and said "It's not unusual for this one to be affectionate, but what about these other two?"

"They talked about you all the way home. So I might have suggested that they show you how much they appreciate you. This must be their way of doing that. And if I were you, I wouldn't question it. Get it while you can." Ali laughed.

"I see. Well, I think the appreciation has worn off a little." Ashlyn nodded toward Jake who had his mouth full of pizza and was flipping channels on the tv.

He partially heard what Ashlyn said and turned to her with a mouth full of pizza and asked "What?"

"Nothing, son. Eat your pizza." Ash laughed.

Ali knelt down next to her wife's chair and pulled her head close for a kiss. "How's our little patient feeling?"

"He's pretty miserable."

"I got him some ginger ale to settle his stomach. I'll see if he'll take it." Ali said.

Ali left to get the beverage and Lex started humming in her Mama's ear.

"What are you singing, princess?" Ash asked.

"A song for you."

"For me? How does it go?" Ash was surprised her daughter wasn't usually the singing type unless it involved disney princesses.

"My Mama is the best Mama and I love her and she loves me and she takes me to ballet and I like to hold her hand and..." Lexi sang words and a tune that were obviously made up on the spot.

"I don't remember the rest." Lexi said.

"That was a beautiful song." Ash bragged. Lexi's face lit up. She loved getting her Mama's approval.

"Beaut-ful song." Sam copied Ash.

"Did I just a hear my handsome boy?" Ali had just arrived with the ginger ale for Sam.

"Mommy, that's me!" Sam said. He was starting to feel better.

"You were so sick when I got home that I didn't get a kiss from you." Ali bent down close to her son's face and he gladly gave her the kiss she had been waiting for. "I have something for you to drink. The bubbles will make you feel better."

"Bubbles?" Ash wasn't sure her wife knew what she was talking about. "It's the ginger. The ginger is what calms the stomach."

"The bubbles is what makes you burp and that relieves pressure." Ali answered.

"What are you talking about? Technically it's the bubbles that create the pressure so your argument doesn't make any sense." Ashlyn was certain her opinion was correct.

"Mommy, I drink it!" Sam got excited. "I like to burp!"

"Well, there ya go. I win!" Ali gloated.

"Just cuz the boy likes to burp doesn't prove your point." Ashlyn couldn't believe this was an actual conversation they were having.

"Oh shush!" Ali gave Ash a look that told her their debate was over.

Sam drank the soda and then reached up for Ali to take him. Ali gave Ash a smirk as if to tell her 'I told you so.'

To which Ashlyn replied. "Again, that doesn't prove anything."

...

Sam was feeling much better after a little Mommy/Sammy time. Ali kissed him and spoiled him until his stomach settled and he was ready once again to take over the world.

Ali's Dad came over to pick the kids up for the weekend. Ali and Ash had an away game and were going to be gone. When Ken arrived the women said good-bye to their kids and gave kisses and hugs liberally.

"Mama, don't go." Sam said and grabbed Ashlyn around her legs. He was acting really clingy to Ashlyn ever since his parents told him they were leaving.

"Bam, I'm coming back." Ashlyn said and picked the boy up. "It's only for a couple days."

"No! Don't go!" Sam slapped Ashlyn on the chest and tried to get out of her grasp.

"Samuel Christopher!" Ali was not a fan of Sam's hitting.

"No, no, no, no!" Sam was throwing a tantrum to try and get his way. He kicked his legs and screamed. Ashlyn responded by holding him tighter.

"Samuel, you stop it right now!" Ali
scolded. He kicked all the more.

"What is your problem, Sam?!" Jake was ready to tackle his little brother if he didn't cut it out.

Sam responded by yelling 'NO' even louder.

"Jacob let us handle it." Ali didn't want to start trouble between the two children and Jake didn't understand why he was being told to stay out of it.

"He's kicking her in the stomach. He has to stop. He's gonna hurt her." Jacob was worried about his mother.

"It's ok." Ashlyn finally spoke up. She put the boy down and he ran away. He tried to hide in the backyard.

Ali checked her watch, "We've got 5 minutes to figure this out before we have to go." She reminded her wife that they were on a tight schedule.

Ashlyn looked so sad. Her normally sweet and gentle son had kicked and slapped her. She couldn't understand why.

Ali saw how upset her wife was. She took her hand and walked with her to the backyard.

"Baby, it's gonna be fine. Even if we don't figure it out before we leave. It will be ok." Ali said.

Ashlyn didn't respond. She just kept her hurt feelings to herself.

"Samuel, come here NOW!" Ali wasn't gonna mess around with searching the yard. She knew that the boy would hear her tone and hopefully his conscience would take over.

Sure enough the little boy came out from behind their oak tree and walked slowly to the women.

Ashlyn sat down on the ground to get closer to her little man. He walked right past her and went to Ali. That one hurt. Ashlyn stood up and walked back inside. She took both of their bags to the car and waited in the driveway for her wife.

Ali joined Ashlyn a few minutes later and greeted her with a peck on the cheek.

"He's not talking." Ali informed Ash. "He's upset about something but he refused to say."

"He's upset with me." Ashlyn concluded. She got into the front seat of Ali's car and stayed quiet the whole ride to meet their team.

...

Once the team filed onto the bus Ali decided to talk to her wife about what happened.

"Baby, don't get so upset. He's four. Four year olds throw tantrums and get upset for no rational reason. Team Awesome is gonna be just fine. We'll skype with him when we get checked in at the hotel and I'm sure everything will get worked out." Ali said.

Ashlyn nodded and gave her wife a small smile. She knew Ali was right, but Samuel was usually Ashlyn's biggest fan and she wasn't used to being treated like that.

Halfway to Buffalo the team stopped at a gas station. Ashlyn decided to roam around inside to find some kind of food. She came back with a hot dog and a bagful of snacks.

"Uh, that stinks! What is that?" Ali asked.

"Jalapeño sausage dog." Ashlyn replied.

"That smells disgusting! What did you put on it?"

"Hot sauce, mayo, pickles, hot peppers, mustard, and ketchup." Ashlyn was proud of her spicy masterpiece.

"That's the worst thing I've ever heard of." Ali was worried about the ramifications that would follow eating something as foul as whatever her wife was currently sticking in her mouth.

It took about 20 minutes for the jalapeño dog to kick in, but once it did poor Ashlyn was in for a long night.

"Al, I think I'm gonna throw up."

"I told you that dog was disgusting!" Ali felt justified in having given her wife such a hard time.

"No, for real. I'm gonna throw up." Ashlyn emptied out the contents of the snack bag and bent over, holding it up to her face.

"You're serious?" Ali could tell by the look on her wife's face that it wouldn't be long until the bus got a glimpse of jalapeño hell.

Ali hurried to the front of the bus and informed the driver of her wife's soon to be vomit situation. The driver informed Ali that he had a schedule to keep and that Ashlyn was welcome to use the bathroom in the back of the bus.

"That bathroom is disgusting!" Ali could just imagine what has gone on in the bathroom during it's previous trips. Who knows who else had rented it.

She hurried to her wife and gave her some water. Ashlyn's face was pale and sweaty.

"Baby, you're gonna have to make it to the hotel. The driver won't pull over." Ali said. She put her hand on Ashlyn's back and tried to provide some comfort.

"What?" Ashlyn felt desperate. Her stomach was cramping and she knew something was gonna come up.

"He said you can use the bathroom in the back."

Ash groaned in disgust and then again in pain.

Ali helped her to the back row of the bus and informed everyone that they might want to avoid the area for awhile. They were gracious enough to give the couple some privacy.

Ali spent the rest of the trip trying to comfort Ashlyn. She was in and out of the bathroom the whole time. When she wasn't in the bathroom she was laying across the back row seat with her head in Ali's lap. Every bump the bus hit sent Ashlyn's stomach into a somersault fit.

Once they made it to their hotel room, both women let out a huge sigh of relief.

"I'm gonna get you some water or something. You're probably really dehydrated. Just try to relax while I'm gone." Ali left Ashlyn to rest on their bed. She was exhausted.

When Ali returned she had her wife take small sips and waited until she finished a bottle of Gatorade. She let her rest for a little while until she would wake her up to take in more liquids. She decided to skype with the kids while Ashlyn slept.

Her Dad, Jake, and Lex all sat in front of the screen happy to see her. But there was one very cute member of the family missing.

"Where's Sam?" She asked.

"He's being a baby and hiding behind the couch." Jacob was annoyed by his brother's stubborn ways.

"Tell him Mama is sleeping. Maybe he will show his face." Ali thought that he was hiding because he was mad at Ashlyn.

Sam peeked half his little head out from behind the couch.

"Mama ok?" He asked. He came out from behind the couch and tugged on the back of Jake's shirt and let his big brother hold him in his lap.

"She's ok, baby. She's just feeling a little sick." Ali answered.

The boy's face filled with panic. "She's gonna die?" He asked.

"What? No, sweetheart. She ate some gross food and it gave her a tummy ache. Remember, like the one you had earlier?" Ali didn't know why the boy was so worried.

"Mama go and get sick and die." He cried.

"No, baby. She's ok."

"No!" The boy jumped down from Jake's lap and ran back to his hiding spot. His cries could be heard through the computer.

Ali's Dad went after the boy and Ali watched him pick him up and hold him close. He got Sam to tell him that he was afraid Ashlyn was going to get hurt because this was the first time she had been away from him since the accident.

Ali heard Sam's explanation and decided to wake Ashlyn up. She told the kids that she would call them right back.

Once Ashlyn was awake enough to comprehend what was going on, she made one more trip to the bathroom, and drank a few more sips of water and was ready to talk to her son.

"Hey guys." Ashlyn tried to sound energetic, but failed miserably.

"Mama, you ok?" Sam asked. He had tears filling his eyes.

"I'm fine. I ate a bad hotdog at a gas station. Remember what I told you about making good decisions about what you eat?" Ashlyn asked.

The boy nodded that he did remember.

"I made a bad decision!" She laughed at herself and put a hand on her stomach. It was sore from it's earlier activities.

Ali spoke up. "Sammy, were you mad at Mama because you thought she was gonna get really hurt?"

He nodded 'yes.'

"Mama is better now. You don't have to be afraid." She explained.

Ashlyn laughed to herself. Ali is usually the worrier and she's the one telling their son not to worry.

Ali knew why Ash was laughing and gave her thigh a squeeze to warn her to cut it out.

"I'm fine, Bam. I promise. I have a little tummy ache right now, but that will go away soon. You don't have to worry about me, little man. Tomorrow I'm gonna make a big save for you to prove that I'm feeling great!"

Sam grinned wide. "Just for me, Mama?"

"Yep!" She smiled back. "Just for you."

Sam seemed happy with that promise and smiled. He looked down and thought really hard and then looked back up. "Mama, I sorry I hit you."

There was Ashlyn's usual sweet and kind little boy.

"I forgive you. I love you more than anything, Bam."

The two made up over an impromptu song about ninjas and cookie monsters. Not to be confused with Cookie Monster, but actual monsters who were made of cookies.

Chapter Text

FLASHBACK

"Can I help you, young man?" The woman behind the counter asked.

"I'm looking for my family." The 10 year old boy answered.

"What name is the reservation under?"

"I'm looking for my baby brother and sister." Jacob said.

"Where are your parents?"

"They're..." The boy hesitated. He didn't want to get in trouble. "They're in the car."

"Your parents are in the car but you don't know where your brother and sister are?" The woman was starting to get too suspicious.

"Umm sorry, I gotta go." Jake hurried out of the restaurant and quietly said to himself, "No one can help me."

The boy left the restaurant in a hurry and stumbled through the door where a young couple had just entered. The blonde tried to grab the boy and make sure he was ok but he refused to slow down. He pushed through the two women and left them behind wondering what could be done to help the boy.

"You sure you want one of those?" The brunette joked.

"It's not like we're gonna get that exact one. We're getting a newborn and a two year old. That kids gotta be like 9 or 10." Ashlyn said.

"True. Although, I wouldn't mind someone like that boy. He had good eyes." Ali replied.

"What the heck does 'good eyes' mean?"

"I don't know. I can just see it in his eyes. I think whoever his mother is is lucky to have him. He looks like a deep soul." Ali was convinced there was something special about the boy.

"We see the kid for 2 seconds, you say he has nice eyes, and now you're making assumptions about the depth of his soul? Okay, whatever you say." Ash brushed her wife off.

"Doubt me all you want, but I bet you if we ever see that kid again, you'll agree that I'm right."

"Whatever you say, princess. Can we please get a seat? I'm starving." Ashlyn begged.

"Of course your are." Ali said sarcastically.

...

"Excuse me." Jacob stood in front of a homeless man asking for spare change. "I'm looking for my brother and sister."

"We're all looking for something, kid." The man wasn't very encouraging. "What do they look like?"

Jake pulled out a picture of him and his siblings taken a couple weeks ago. It was the last picture of them together.

"I haven't seen them. Kids that small don't last long on the streets. Where do you live?" As soon as the man started asking personal questions something in Jake's mind told him to leave.

"No where. Bye." Jake took his picture and left the man.

Jacob didn't know what to do. He had more on his mind that his siblings. He also had to figure out where he was going to sleep and what he was going to eat. A 10 year old should never have to worry about these things.

He learned quickly that he had to lie to get anywhere. People wanted to help him but their definition of help was different than what he had mind. They wanted to take him to the police or child services. He wanted them to give him food and help him find his family.

He soon befriended a 16 year old named Travis, who took him under his wing and tried to show him the ropes.

"First off, you can't tell them anything about your family. Once they find out you're an orphan they don't wanna give you nothing. They wanna make you someone else's problem." Travis explained.

"How am I gonna find my brother and sister if I don't ask?" Jake asked.

"These people don't know where they are. They're probably dead anyways. If you bring them up you lose sight of what's important."

Jake didn't understand. "What's more important than me finding my family?"

"Survival."

...

Jake didn't give up looking for his family. He did, however, stop asking adults to help find them. Travis told him that adults would only hurt his chances of being reunited. He told him that when adults try to help they take away your freedom and control. They put you where you don't want to be and take you where you don't want to go.

Travis lived by two rules. #1 Trust no one and #2 Everything is acceptable if it's necessary for survival.

Jacob couldn't know that these two rules would, in fact, keep him from his family. If he would have been found earlier, he would have been placed with the Krieger-Harris family as soon as they agreed to take him. Which was inevitable.

He was a kid learning how to survive from another kid who didn't know enough about how the world works to be giving lessons on life. But what other choice did Jake have? Travis was the only friend and the closest thing to family he had left.

The two boys became like brothers. They also became partners in crime. One of them would distract while the other would steal. They watched each others back whenever they were in a dangerous situation.

The day Jacob got picked up by a police officer was the day that Travis died. The boys had been attacked by a mugger. The man was bigger than both of them combined and he had a knife. He stabbed Travis and left Jacob to mourn the loss of his only friend.

Jacob was too overcome by the situation to realize a crowd had assembled and the police had been called. The officer that found him was kind. He wasn't like Travis had described how cops are. He gave Jake something to eat and drink and let him stay with him until he could find somewhere safe for him to go.

Jacob couldn't understand why Travis would lie to him about the world. He didn't know if it was because Travis didn't want to be alone anymore or if he really thought they'd be better off on the street.

A well-dressed woman met Jacob and the kind officer at the police station. Jake had finished off his third hamburger and was sucking down the rest of his soda. She introduced herself and asked a lot of questions. She found out his background story and promised that she would do her best to reunite him with his family.

Sometimes unplaced foster children were given opportunities to go out and do things together, sorta like a field trip. They would go to the mall, to a movie, or places where they could hang out and have fun.

The first trip that Jake went on was with a large group to a pizza place that had games that the kids could play.

He was still new to the group and kept to himself after eating his weight in pizza. He left the group to use the bathroom and saw that there was a line for both the men and the women. He stood in line minding his own business, not realizing that his future and everything he ever was searching for was standing next to him in the other line.

He noticed the same pretty blonde he saw earlier who came in with an attractive brunette and a large group of people. He thought he heard her mumble something.

"What?" He asked.

The woman seemed surprised that he heard her. He felt stupid for thinking that she actually noticed him.

The woman replied and said she liked his hat and suddenly he felt guilty about stealing it.

The two spoke very few words to each other but he immediately took a liking to her. Did she really care about him? He wasn't used to people acknowledging him unless it was in a negative way.

Who was this woman and why did she care?

They parted ways and he wished that he could see her again. He wished he knew more about this weird tattooed woman who noticed him in a crowd and made him feel like a person worth talking too.

Before he left with his group he watched the blonde woman interact with the person she had told him was her wife. There seemed to be so much love between the two. He wondered if they or anyone, really, would ever have enough love for him.

That night he cried himself to sleep wishing that he wasn't alone in the world. He did what he only does when times are most desperate. He prayed and asked God for help. He asked for a family. He begged that his brother and sister still be alive and be somewhere safe.

He had no way of knowing that things had already been set into motion. That same day he had met his future mother. Later that night Ali would receive a call. The next day her and Ashlyn would see his picture. His siblings were safe and waiting for him to be found.

His prayers would soon be answered.

Chapter Text

"Go Jakes, Go!" Sam yelled.

"Come on Jake! Nutmeg him!" Ash yelled adding a few hand claps in the mix.

"Nutmegum!" Sam repeated.

The family was at Jacob's soccer game. Ali and her dad decided to take Lex to sit in the bleachers while Ash and Sam ran up and down the sideline cheering extra loudly for their favorite player.

Ali thought her wife and youngest child were cute when they got super excited about cheering. However, Lexi couldn't handle the volume of it. Sitting in the crowd was a good solution to that problem.

Lex sat in Ali's dad's lap and tucked herself into her Grandpa's chest. He wrapped her up protectively in his arms and she felt safe from the chaos around her.

Ali sat next to her dad and daughter and watched her son with much quieter and calmer cheers than Ash and Sam.

Ali discovered really quickly that she was sitting in the midst of a few judgmental soccer moms. She overheard them talking about her wife and son as if they were acting inappropriately. Ken discreetly asked Ali if she wanted to move but Ali said it was fine.

Ali figured the women would change subjects sooner or later. She was wrong.

One woman began to criticize Ashlyn's look. Ashlyn was wearing a backwards snapback, a tank top and baggy jeans. The woman commented on her tattoos and called her a thug.

Ali's blood was boiling. Her jaw tightened and she debated in her mind how she was going to handle her anger. She had her most sensitive child sitting next to her but the women needed shutting up. She knew if she argued with them that Lexi would definitely get upset.

She decided that these women weren't worth the cost of upsetting her little princess. She warned her dad about what she was about to do and asked him to change seats afterward.

One woman had just made a remark about how the little boy with Ashlyn was probably going to grow up to be a hoodlum just like his mother.

Ali stood up and turned around to face the talkative women behind her.

"I think she's hot!" Ali said with a smirk.

She left the women behind speechless. She walked down to the sideline and put an arm around her wife's neck and kissed her passionately on the lips. Ashlyn was surprised but wasn't gonna complain.

"What was that for?" Ashlyn asked.

Ali leaned in to her and Ash instinctively put an arm around her wife's waist. She placed her lips gently at her wife's ear and said, "I was just watching you and had a sudden urge to let everyone know that you're mine."

Ali gave her wife a peck on the cheek while looking back at the soccer moms who had been bad-mouthing Ashlyn. They all looked embarrassed that their hateful gossip had been exposed.

They would have never imagined that someone like Ali, who they thought was very well 'put together' would ever be with someone like Ashlyn. These are the usual misconceptions and judgmental thoughts of people who base opinions on the outside appearance and not the content of the heart.

Of course, Ali and anyone with an ounce of sense knew that there wasn't a thing wrong with how Ashlyn looked, but these soccer moms didn't have much sense to begin with.

"Mommy, I get kiss?" Sam didn't want to be left out. Ali was happy to oblige the little 'hoodlum' with a cuddle and a kiss. She picked him up and held on tight. She knew those women would never know how special her son or wife truly were. And it was completely their loss.

...

After the game the family had dinner and then went for a little back to school shopping with the kids. Sam was going to start preschool and was excited about all the new friends he would make. Lexi was starting kindergarten and wanted to make sure she looked her best. Jake was going to start high school and he was scared to death.

"What's up, man? You usually love clothes shopping." Ash noticed Jake's nervous behavior.

"I don't know." He paused hoping that would be enough of an answer for his mother, but Ashlyn knew him too well to let that slide. "I guess I'm scared that they won't like me. And what if I'm not as smart as the rest of the kids?"

"Jake, you worked your butt off this summer and tested high enough to be in 9th grade with other kids your age. If there are some things that are harder for you, that's ok. We'll work hard to overcome them. I promise you, you're not alone in this." Ash gave his shoulder a squeeze and then added, "And if they don't like you, they're crazy because you're awesome. Plus a lot of the kids on your soccer team will be in your class. You don't have anything to worry about."

Ashlyn spoke confidently to her shy and timid son but she was nervous for him too. She felt the boy deserved a break. She knew everything about going to school was gonna be hard on him at first. But she worried that it might not ever get easier. He didn't know it but she was even more scared that he was.

"Mama!" Sam grabbed Ashlyn's hand. "Come." Ali had sent him over to retrieve her wife. He pulled her over to his Mommy and Jacob followed.

"Baby, I need you to help the boys pick out backpacks and school supplies." Ali handed Ashlyn a list for both Sam and Jake. "I'm gonna help Lex find the perfect outfit." Ali said this in her best diva attitude and with one snap in the air she took Lex's hand and the two walked away like models on a runway.

"They're weird." Jake said.

"Yup." Ash agreed. "We should have brought two cars." She sighed.

...

The morning of the first day of school was nerve-wracking. Ali was in super mom mode and had breakfast made, lunches packed, and all the kids' backpacks lined up by the front door. All of this was done before Ashlyn even got out of bed.

Jake was the first one of the kids up, but he had changed his outfit several times and couldn't decide about what to wear. He wanted to look his best. Lex was the second kid up and the first ready, which wasn't surprising because she had everything planned out the night before. Sam was up, but he was still in his Thor pajamas.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Ali said. Sam had managed to find his way to the kitchen and to his Mommy.

"G'mornin, Mommy." Sam yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"Baby, do you think you can take Monster and go wake up your Mama?"

"Yee-up!" Sam answered. He always gets excited when he can do anything with his dog.

"Samuel, make sure to tell her no breakfast for her until she helps you get ready."

"Ok, Mommy."

Sam hummed a made up song all the way up the stairs and into his parents' room. He picked up his dog, who had gotten bigger lately and would soon be bigger than him, and he tip toed to the side of the bed.

He whispered, "Mama, wake up." He purposely said it too quiet for her to hear. He said it again. "Mama, wake up." Then he added, "Mommy said for me and Monster to wake you up and yer not waking up so..." He put Monster right on top of Ashlyn's face.

The little boy started giggling at the reaction of his mom to the tongue of his dog.

"What the?" Ashlyn tried to dodge Monster's licking but the dog persevered.

Sam shook from laughing so hard. He tried to stay quiet but the little boy was too excited.

"Samuel!" Ashlyn firmly called to her son.

Sam froze immediately at the sudden seriousness of the situation.

"Get up here, son." Sam crawled up on top of his Mama's stomach.

He moved Monster onto Ali's side of the bed so that he was no longer on top of Ashlyn's face. He bent down so that his head was just above his Mama's and whispered. "Mama, wake up."

Ashlyn smiled at her cute little boy. "I am up. Your dog almost licked my face off."

Sam scrunched his face and looked closely at Ashlyn. "No! He didn't lick yer face off."

Ashlyn couldn't help but laugh.

"Did Mommy send you to wake me up?" Ash asked.

The boy had completely forgotten about the mission Ali had sent him on.

"Oh yeah! Mommy said NO BREAKFAST FOR YOU!" He said it very sternly as if Ashlyn was in trouble.

"No breakfast at all? What if I'm hungry?" Ashlyn wasn't at all worried about getting fed, she just wanted to tease her son.

"Nope! No food!"

"Can I have some of your's?"

"NO!" He sat up so that he was looking down at his mother. He crossed his arms to look super tough.

"Oh no!" Ashlyn put an arm over her eyes and pretended to be sad. She was being over dramatic trying to get a response. She didn't have to wait long.

"Don't be sad, Mama. You can have my food." He leaned back down and tried to pry Ashlyn's arm from over her eyes. "Don't cry, Mama. I take care of you."

Ashlyn let him remove her arm and then pulled him down into a hug. She decided to thank him and while she said 'thank you' over and over again she tickled his sides and belly.

He giggled himself out of breath and Ashlyn gave him a kiss and carried him downstairs to Ali.

"What's this I hear about you trying to starve me?" Ash accused her wife.

"I said you don't get any breakfast until our little ninja is dressed and ready for school." Ali corrected her.

"Ohhh. That makes more sense." Ash gave her wife a quick peck on the cheek and then put Sam on her shoulders. "Come on Bam, let's get you looking like a presentable ninja."

"Yeah!" Sam did a karate chop, followed up by a fist pump.

...

Ash had gotten Sam ready and sent him down to breakfast. She stopped by Lex's room and admired how pretty she looked. "Princess, you are so beautiful." She walked in and took Lexi's hand so that her daughter could twirl for her. Lexi loved to twirl. "Lex, if you put as much effort into your schoolwork as you do looking cute, you won't have any problems at all."

"I'll work hard, Mama. I want to be smart like Mommy." Lex said.

"Hey! I'm smart too."

"Mommy said she's smarter than you. So I wanna be as smart as her." Lexi didn't see why what she said was offensive. She was just stating what she had been told.

"I'm gonna have to have a talk with your smart Mommy later." Ashlyn gave Lex a kiss and told her to go down for breakfast.

She stopped at Jake's room and could tell he was nervous. "You're looking good, son!" Ash said and walked into his room.

He stood in front of his mirror and questioned every article of clothes he had on his body.

"Should I wear the blue polo instead?" He asked.

"That ones fine. One of the perks of going to a private school and having to wear a boring uniform is that no one is going to judge you on your clothes. They all are wearing the same stuff." Ashlyn sat down on the edge of Jacob's bed.

Ali and Ashlyn had decided that it would be better for Jacob to start out at a small private school where he could get more attention and help, if needed. Both Lex and Sam were enrolled in public school for now. The women would reevaluate each child's placement as time went on.

"I don't know." Jake turned toward her and put his head down. "What if I'm really dumb and I don't understand anything?"

"Son, sit over here." She patted the spot of the mattress right next to her. "You have overcome more than probably every other person in that school. If something is difficult, we'll work through it. Look at all the things you've gone through and where you're at today. So what if you're bad at math or English. Who cares? You're really good at the most important things in life."

"I am?" He asked.

"Oh, yes. You're really good at not giving up. You're really good at being kind and thoughtful. You're really good at being a big brother. And your really good at being my son. If you suck at school, you'll still be good at all those things. But you know what? Your mom and I will make sure you have the best chance to do your best. That's all any of us can ever do. Ok?"

"Yeah, ok." He let a small smile escape. His biggest fear wasn't being rejected by peers or failing in school. His biggest fear was letting Ashlyn and Ali down. After hearing that Ashlyn wasn't gonna hold his shortcomings against him he felt much better. To him it was like a huge weight was removed from his shoulders. Ashlyn could see that he was starting to lighten up a little bit.

"Oh and one more thing!" Ash seemed to get really serious. She turned to her son and said, "Just because you're probably gonna be the big man on campus because you're the best player on your soccer team doesn't mean you get to act like you're too good for your old mom. Just remember that when people are standing in line to be your friend."

Jake let out a laugh and smiled widely. "They're not gonna think I'm all that great."

"Oh yes they are. Once they see your skills, it's over. Everyone is going to want to be around you. You just better not forget about me. That's all I'm saying."

"Whatever!" Jake laughed, but he had to admit he was feeling a lot better about things. Maybe school wouldn't be so bad after all.

...

Both Sam and Jake had to be dropped off at school but Lex had to take the bus. Ali about broke down in their driveway as she watched her little girl climb up the stairs, turn and wave, and then walk to her seat. It was almost too much.

After Lex left, the women had to split up to take the boys to their separate schools. Ali took Jake and Ash took Sam. They decided it would be way too hard for Ali to say goodbye to her baby.

Ashlyn held on to Sam's little hand and walked with him down the hall and into his classroom. She helped him find his assigned desk and get his school supplies all set up. She put his backpack in his cubby labeled with his name and showed him where his lunch was. She introduced herself and Sammy to the teacher. Before she left she made sure to introduce herself to a few of the other parents. She watched as Sam played with the other children. Her son was going to be just fine.

She sighed feeling a little sad and went to leave. Her son noticed that she was leaving and ran to her.

"Mama!" Ashlyn turned toward him and knelt down to get at his level. "Mama, don't go!"

He grabbed her around her neck and gave her a tight hug.

"It's ok, Bam. You're only here for a few hours and then I'll be back to pick you up. Until then you will get to learn and make new friends." Ashlyn was trying to keep herself from tearing up.

"Mama, yer my best friend." He just managed to melt his mother's heart all over the classroom floor.

"Oh, I love you so much!" She squeezed him for a long moment. She knew the only way to survive saying good-bye was a change of subject and bribery.

"So." Ashlyn said. "What kind of ice cream do you want when I pick you up?"

"Ice cream?" She perked his interest, for sure.

"Yeah. Me and you need to get a snack after school. It will be our thing. You can tell me about all the fun stuff you get to do while you're here."

"Yeah!" Sam was excited about the possibility of an adventure awaiting him.

"I gotta go, but I need you to know two more things before I leave."

"Ok."

"Now you have to really pay attention. Are you paying attention?" Ash asked.

"Yes, Mama. I pay attent..." He couldn't remember the rest of the word.

"Attention. It means to listen closely."

"I listen." He said.

"The first thing is that I'm proud of you. You're smart and handsome and the best little boy I know." Sam puffed out his chest and tried to hold back a grin as Ashlyn bragged about him.

"The second thing I need you to know is..." She leaned in really close and whispered into his ear. "I love you, Sam-Bam." She then gave him a huge raspberry on the cheek and sent him into a fit of giggles.

"Bye Bam, I'll see you soon."

"Bye-bye Mama. Love you." Sam waved and then turned and ran back to the area where the kids were playing. Ashlyn pulled herself together and left her son for his first day of school.

...

Ali decided to walk Jacob to class also. Jake didn't know that parents don't usually do that sort of thing in high school but he was more than happy to have her by his side. She helped him find his locker and showed him how to use the lock. She couldn't help it, she had to at least give him a hug. She knew better than to try to do much more than that. She didn't want to embarrass him.

"I love you. Just do your best. That's all anyone can ever do." She encouraged.

"Love you, too." Jake gave Ali a hug on his own initiative and left her to join his class.

Ali took a deep breath and walked out to her car. For some reason Ali felt like she couldn't leave. She was worried about Jacob and thought that maybe if she stayed close he would be able to feel her presence and feel less alone.

She was brought out of her thoughts by a loud tapping on her window. The noise scared her and caused her to jump. She rolled down her window.

"Ashlyn Michelle! You scared the crap out of me."

"Unlock your door." Ashlyn climbed into the passenger seat of her wife's car.

"What are you doing here?" Ali asked.

"What are YOU doing here?" Ashlyn said.

"I'm dropping off our son. I'm supposed to be here."

"You're done dropping him off. Why are you just sitting here?" Ash asked.

Ali felt dumb but decided to tell her wife the truth. "I guess I thought he might be able to feel my presence nearby and...I don't know...I guess I thought it might bring him comfort."

"That's why I'm here." Ash said and pulled out a small pair of binoculars from her coat pocket.

"Are you crazy? You can't spy on children."

"I'm not 'spying.' I'm gonna use them to watch over our son." Ash answered. She didn't seem to think she sounded crazy at all.

"Baby, what are you gonna do? Try to sneak around in the bushes outside of his classroom window?"

"Maybe..." Ash answered. "Or I was thinking maybe I could hide in a tree."

Ali started laughing at her crazy wife. "Baby, I think it's time for us to let go a little. Our babies will be ok." Ali put a hand on Ashlyn's shoulder and tried to bring some sanity back to their relationship.

"I know. I'm just worried. I know he's nervous and if anyone tries to hurt him or make fun of him I'm gonna..." Ali shut her wife up with a kiss.

She pulled away just enough to look her wife in the eyes and say, "Come on, baby. Let's go home. We have an empty house and four hours all to ourselves before we have to pick up Sam. You know what that means."

Ash's eyes went big. "A little one on one time with the Mrs." Ash smiled. She gave Ali a kiss and then hurried to her own car to make sure they didn't waste any time getting home.

They decided having 3 kids in school wasn't the worst thing in the world after all.

Chapter Text

"Ash." Ali lifted her stomach a little to try to nudge her wife awake. Ashlyn had her head on her wife's chest and had fallen asleep after an eventful morning. "Baby, we need to eat and then pick up Sam from school."

Ashlyn smiled lazily and pulled herself up so that her lips were hovering over Ali's mouth. She let her weight rest fully on Ali and instead of a sweet moment shared Ali let out a grunt.

"You're dead weight on me. When did you get so heavy? I can't breathe!" Ali tried to wiggle her way free but Ash was having too much fun.

"Babe, I'm very sensitive about my weight. You need to be nice." Ash wasn't sensitive about her weight, she just really enjoyed messing with her wife.

"Shut up, you are not. Now get off me!"

"You just said shut up. We don't say that in this house, young lady." Ashlyn was on a roll.

"What happened to my sweet wife? Have you seen her around here?" Ali finally mustered enough strength to roll Ash off of her and onto the floor.

"Ouch! What's your problem? I think you just gave me a concussion." Ash was fine, but she finally found a subject that would get a reaction from her wife.

"Are you serious? Did you hit your head?"

After her wife's alarmed response Ashlyn kinda felt a little guilty. She sat up so that her head was just above the top of the side of the bed. Ali bent down to check on her. Ash couldn't continue to give her wife a hard time. She looked completely distressed at the possibility that Ash might be hurt.

"I'm fine. I was just messing with you." Ashlyn had a huge smile on her face when she finally confessed.

Ali grabbed her wife's head with both hands mocking that she was going to shake it in frustration, instead she kissed her on the top of her head and said, "You drive me crazy! I don't know why I put up with you."

Ash decided to take this opportunity to tackle her wife and show her exactly why she puts up with her.

...

After Ash and Ali had a quick lunch together it was time to pick up their youngest.

Ali wasn't willing to wait at home while Ashlyn and Sam hung out and had a great time. She promised Ashlyn she wouldn't spoil Team Awesome's mojo.

Ashlyn at first wasn't a big fan of the idea of Ali coming along. She loved the idea of Sam thinking that their after school hang out time was a secret from the rest of the family. Of course Ali knew about it, and of course she didn't care, but Ash wanted Sam to think of it as a top secret mission for the two of them.

But since the ol' ball in chain wanted to come along Ash decided to use her wife to bring Sam a special surprise. They pulled up to the school and Ash parked her Jeep. She left Ali and Sam's surprise in the car to wait for her to bring Sam back.

She thought that she would have to go inside to retrieve the boy but the teacher had the entire class lined up outside waiting for their parents to pick them up. She watched her little boy do his wiggle dance. It's the dance he does when there's a tune in head. Sometimes he hums along while he dances and other times he just dances. Usually he's not dancing on rhythm and he's staring at nothing in particular. So Ashlyn wasn't at all surprised when he didn't see her approaching.

He looked so cute and small with his backpack on and a note from the teacher pinned to his shirt. Ashlyn's joy and gratitude at the gift of being this little boy's mom was practically bursting out of her.

"Bam!" She interrupted his private dance party.

"Mama!" The boy's face lit up. He had waited for what he thought was all day long to see his Mama again.

Sam ran to his Mama. Ashlyn knelt down and let him hug her neck as tight as he wanted. She ended up just sitting down on the ground while the boy stood between her outstretched legs and played with one of her hands.

"How was school?" Ash asked her very excited boy.

"Goooood!" He dragged out the word and started up his wiggle dance again.

"Bam, did you make any new friends?"

He paused from his dancing and put a finger up to his chin as if he had to think really hard for an answer. Finally the boy nodded his head once and said a definitive "Yes!"

Ashlyn asked for the friend's name but he didn't know. She encouraged him to ask his new friend tomorrow and to try and remember.

Ashlyn finally asked Sam about the note attached to his shirt. The boy shrugged. Apparently his teacher was a ninja and managed to attach it without his knowledge.

Back in the Jeep, Ali decided she had waited long enough. She brought Sam's surprise with her and went in search for her wife and son. The surprise managed to give her presence away as soon as the children still waiting to be picked up saw it.

"Monster!" Sam cheered. He got up and ran towards his Mommy and dog.

Monster headed straight for Sam. All of Sam's classmates thought that he was pretty cool to have brought a dog to school.

Ashlyn caught up with the excited crowd that had formed around her son.

"I want you to notice that I got no greeting at all. I'm starting to see where I fall on the priority list for this boy." Ali complained.

"He's happy to see you he just has tunnel vision for his pup." Ash replied.

"What's that?" Ali motioned toward the envelope Ashlyn had unpinned from Sam.

"It's a letter from the teacher about volunteering and a food drive and stuff like that."

"Give it to me. We don't want to lose it." She put her hand out and Ash gave it to her gladly. Paperwork is Ali's thing.

A man approached Ali from behind and greeted her. "Hey, beautiful."

Ali jumped at the touch of his hand on her shoulder. She made eye contact with Ashlyn to figure out how the situation was going to go. Sam was still playing with Monster and a few other kids at Ali and Ashlyn's feet. The whole situation was completely inappropriate.

Ashlyn was ready to handle it if necessary. She sized up the unwelcomed guest and she wasn't impressed. He was far too confident, if you asked Ashlyn.

Ali turned slightly toward the man and politely told him that she wasn't interested.

"Not interested?" He replied. "I wasn't offering you anything."

Ashlyn wasn't sure how to interpret this guy. He seemed to be trying to fluster or embarrass her wife. But he hadn't technically hit on her so she really had no grounds on defending her. She stayed quiet but watched him like a hawk.

"I was just wondering how your husband could let you out of his sight. I mean, you are quite a looker." He smirked and put his hand on Ali's upper arm.

"That's enough. Please leave me alone." Ali was calm but stern.

Sam noticed that the man was acting strange toward his mom. He stood up and shook his fist. He yelled, "Leave my Mommy alone!"

Ashlyn knew she had to take over the conversation before Super Sam-Bam and his sidekick Monster let loose.

"Excuse me, I noticed you're upsetting my son." She stared the man down.

"Your son." He pointed to Sam and then to Ashlyn. Then he took a small step back and pointed to Ali. He finally put the pieces together. "You're a couple."

"You're brilliant." Ashlyn answered sarcastically.

Ali had put a hand on Sam's head when he first jumped up to defend her, she used her other hand to reach for Ashlyn.

"We were just leaving." Ali said. She picked up the family dog and gave Ashlyn a look to tell her to drop it and move on.

She did move on. But not without bumping her shoulder into the man to let him know she was more than willing to fight for Ali.

Ali put Sam in his car seat and made sure Monster stayed on the blanket they laid out to cover the seat. Once both her and her wife were buckled in she questioned Ashlyn.

"Was that really necessary?"

"What?" Ash asked.

"Hitting that guy?" Ali clarified.

"I didn't hit him. I ran into him. Besides he's the type to keep bothering you. I just know it. If you're gonna get mad at me or tell me I did the wrong thing, you should just drop it." Ashlyn looked in her rear view and checked on Sam to make sure he didn't know his parents were starting an argument.

"Don't tell me to just drop it. I thought the person I married was against violence. You started the physical stuff. You are the one that made contact with him."

Ashlyn let out a frustrated sigh. If Ali wasn't going to drop it then she would. She gave Ali the silent treatment all the way to the ice cream shop.

...

Both women kept the conversation going by letting Sam do all the talking. They knew more about his first day of pre-K than they ever thought possible.

When the family returned home the women knew they had to clear things up. Sam wanted to play with Monster outside so it worked out that the women would be able to talk while he played.

"Ashlyn why are you not talking to me?" Ali asked. She didn't understand why her wife iced her out on the way home.

"I didn't want to talk in from of Sam." Ash replied.

"Ok, well he can't hear us now."

Ashlyn looked up at Sam and saw him chasing his dog around the backyard. They definitely had privacy now.

"I didn't like the way that guy was acting towards you." Ash finally said.

"Obviously." Ali already knew that little bit of information. "He was a jerk but you shouldn't have pushed him."

"I didn't push him. I didn't hit him. He got in my way. I ran into him. Who cares?" Ashlyn didn't see why Ali was focusing so much on that small detail.

"Who cares? I care. I don't want to see you get into a fight with some stupid guy and I don't want to see you acting violent with someone because you're jealous."

"Jealous. You think I'm jealous of that guy. Really?" Ash laughed sarcastically. "You wanna know what I think of that guy?"

Ali nodded.

"He's dangerous. He's the type of guy that wants to control other people. He wants to show that he gets what he wants and if you don't give it to him then he will hurt you. I've seen his type a million times."

"Ashlyn, you don't know him. You're assuming those things. I would say he has proven himself to be cocky and inappropriate, but he hasn't done anything wrong. You warn me not to get physical with someone because you don't want me to get hurt but that's exactly what you did."

Ali had a point but it wasn't enough to get Ashlyn to change her mind.

"Alex, I'm telling you he's a bad guy. I probably shouldn't have nudged him with my shoulder, but it's also not that big of a deal. He needs to know you're spoken for."

"Ya see, that sounds like jealousy to me. And it also kind of sounds like I'm your property."

"Oh please, you know what I mean." Ashlyn defended.

Ali looked at her watch and sighed. "We have to figure out who's gonna pick up Jake."

Ashlyn knew Ali didn't understand her perspective but she was just going to have to trust her. She knew her wife well enough to know that she wouldn't purposely do anything to upset her. She was confident Ali would choose to stay away from the man.

"I can pick him up. Or whatever you want is fine." Ash said.

Ali knew they were gonna have to agree to disagree about their argument. She could tell Ashlyn wasn't trying to fight with her. She decided to soften her approach.

"Ash." Ali stepped closer to her wife and put and arm around her waist. "I love you. I trust you."

Ali watched relief flood Ashlyn's face. Ali looked and saw Sam running around and giggling. She knew Lex would be home soon. She had an idea.

"Why don't we all pick up Jake?" Ali suggested.

"That's a great idea." Ash said quietly. She really wanted to kiss her wife but for some reason held back.

"We can bring him a snack and then drop him off at practice."

"I bet he'd love to see his whole family there. Let's do it!" Ash smiled. Now she was ready to kiss her wife. She pulled her in by her waist. The force was almost shocking to Ali. She was not expecting it.

Their lip lock was stopped too soon in either women's opinion, by the tugging of Sam's little hands on their pant legs. He had one fistful of Ashlyn's pants and one fistful of Ali's.

"Hey, stop!" Sam seemed alarmed.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Ali bent down and got eye level with the boy.

"Me and Monster hungry!"

"We just had ice cream, baby. Didn't that fill you up?" Ali asked. Usually Sam was a picky eater. He didn't eat much.

"Nope!" He answered.

Ashlyn scooped him up and said, "That's cuz you take after me. Your metabolism needs fuel." She carried him to the kitchen. She looked through he pantry and pulled out some cookies.

"Baby, don't give him that. I'll make him a sandwich. Lexi's bus is supposed to get here in a few minutes. Will you please wait outside for her?" All asked.

Ashlyn handed Sam off to her and then saluted them both. She put a leash on Monster and took him out front to wait with her for the little princess to arrive.

When the bus pulled up Lexi ran to her mother.

"Hi, Mama." Lex gave Ash a hug and kiss and then gave a quick hug to Monster.

Ashlyn took Lexi's book bag and carried it for her. She held her hand as they walked inside. Lex was greeted with cheers when she entered. Ali had instructed Sam to clap and welcome Lexi home with style. He ran to her and gave her a hug and then ran back to his seat at the table.

Monster pulled on his leash towards the boy and once Ash released him he jumped up beside Sam trying to sneak a piece of Samuel's sandwich. The boy wasn't allowed to give Monster human food, but he managed to sneak a few pieces from time to time.

"Princess, how was your first day of school?" Ash asked.

"It was good." She replied.

"What was your favorite part of your day?" Ali asked.

"Um...we colored pictures." Lex pointed toward her backpack and Ash pulled out a picture of a house and 5 people in front of it. Lex even included the dog.

"That's beautiful!" Ali took the picture from her wife and showed it to Sam. "Isn't that awesome, Sam? Look she even drew Monster."

Sam nodded and smiled. With a mouth full of peanut butter and jelly he said, "Cool, Lex!"

Lexi was proud of her picture and she was even more proud that her family seemed to really like it a lot.

Ali put it up on the fridge so that she could show off her work to anyone who came to visit.

...

The entire family, this time minus Monster, filed into Ashlyn's Jeep and went to Jake's school. They arrived early so that they would be toward the front of the pick-up line.

There were a lot of kids starting to pour out of the school but their son must have been taking his time. Ali finally decided to jump out and look inside for him. She found him the first place she looked. The poor guy was having a hard time opening up his locker.

"Hey there, handsome." Ali called out.

Jake got really stiff. He was embarrassed that he couldn't figure out the lock and he didn't want his Mom to know.

"Ya know when I was in high school I hated these things." Ali went straight for the combination lock and opened it without acknowledging Jake's difficulty. She didn't want to embarrass him.

"Thanks." Jake said softly.

"I wrote the combination on the inside of my hand for the first week of school. I wish I would have had my own cell phone. I would have just stored it in there." Ali gave her son the answer to his problem without just coming out and saying it. He was glad she was there.

They got all his books together and headed out to the Jeep.

"I'm not supposed to ask you how your day went because your mom is waiting to hear the answer too." She laughed.

When they finally got all loaded up with the rest of the family Ali was allowed to ask. "So Jacob, how was your first day of school?"

"It was good. My locker lock was a little tricky." He smiled at Ali like they had a secret they shared.

"What was your favorite part of the day?" Ash asked her favorite question when trying to pry information from her children.

"I guess, seeing you guys." He answered.

"Ok. You win. That was the best answer I've heard all day." Ash reached her hand behind her to give her son a high five.

Ali smiled at her awesome family and followed up Ashlyn's question. "So obviously we're the best part of your day." She gestured toward everyone in the car. "But what was your second favorite part of the day?"

"Hmm. Probably study hall. You get to do whatever you want. I drew this." Jake pulled out a paper that had a comic type hero. "It's Sam."

Jacob had made a comic version of his little brother. Sam was amazed!

"This is really good, Jacob!" Ali quickly showed Ash but didn't want her to be too distracted while driving.

"Dude, that's amazing! We should make a wall-size comic strip or something." Ash was already getting ideas on how to use her son's newly discovered talent.

"It's not that great."

"Are you kidding me? It's amazing!" Ash was really excited. She pictured them working on art projects together and couldn't help but burst with pride for her son.

"I'm a hero!" Sam shouted. He flexed his arms and made Jacob feel like he was the real hero. He didn't think he was that talented but his family's response made him start to
reconsider.

"Jake, did things go better than you thought they would?" Ashlyn got serious. She knew how worried he was and both her and Ali were nervous about how things would go.

"Yeah. I already knew a lot of people. I sat with them during class and we hung out during lunch. It was ok."

"How about the work?" Ali asked.

"Some of it was hard. Some of it was easy. I hate math. My brain stops working. The teacher was trying to teach algebra." Jake explained.

"What's alja-?" Sam asked.

"It's called algebra and I have no idea what it is." Jacob laughed and so did his parents.

"Don't worry I can help you with that." Ali said.

...

After Jake's soccer practice Ashlyn picked him up and brought him home. Lex was just finishing up with her homework when they arrived. She was writing out upper and lower case letters to turn in to her teacher.

Ali already had Jake's homework all set up at the table. "Time for homework, Jake." She wanted to make sure he didn't go straight to watching tv or playing video games.

"Right now?" He whined in a teenager sort of way.

"Right now."

Ash found Sam and took Lexi into the living room to cuddle and talk about their day. She asked Lex about her art and thought up ways that she could have Lex and Jake create something awesome together for the house. Her thoughts changed direction when she heard her wife and oldest son struggling to figure out the value of x.

She carried Sam into the kitchen with her and asked what the problem was.

"This just doesn't make sense. I think this problem is written out wrong." Ali said.

Jake looked up at Ashlyn for help. Ali obviously had forgotten how to do this kind of math.

Ashlyn grinned. She was reminded of how Lexi told her earlier that Ali thinks she's the smartest of the two parents.

"I might be able to help, but I don't want to make you feel intimidated by my intelligence." Ash mocked.

"Why did you just say that?" Ali had an idea but needed confirmation.

"I might have been told by a miniature diva that she was lied to. She said she was told that you were smarter than me." Ash said it slowly to emphasize her point.

"I don't recall that." Yes she did.

"Hmm." Ash stared her wife down. "Why don't you take this guy." She put Sam into Ali's waiting arms. "I can help Jake." She sat down next to her son, but had one more thought. "Oh and honey, if you need help with Sam's homework you just let me know."

Ash knew she would get in trouble for that one later but it was just too good to pass up.

Chapter Text

"But Mom, why can't we go with you?" Jacob and Ali were picking up a few items from the grocery store and pharmacy to make sure Grandpa Ken was all stocked up to take care of the kids while Ash and Ali were in Seattle for the playoffs.

"Because you have school. You can't miss any days. You haven't even been to a full week of classes yet. Your education is more important." Ali answered.

"What's more important than the playoffs?" Jacob had his own soccer team he played for and couldn't imagine why his mother thought he should miss her playoff game for school.

"I just told you. Your education is more important. Believe it or not."

"But that sucks!"

"I wish we could have played at home but this is how it worked out. If we make the final, we'll see what we can work out."

"I hope you make it to the finals and play the Thorns." Jake suddenly became very interested in a possible trip to Portland.

Ali laughed at her son. "I know why you want to go to Portland. A certain brunette forward with blue eyes, maybe."

Jacob's face turned bright red, "No, I just um....I like the team."

"Whatever you say, Sweetheart."

...

Ali and Jacob returned home to find a crying Samuel in his Mama's arms.

"What happened?" Ali asked concerned about her smallest boy.

"He doesn't want us to leave." Ash answered. "He's afraid to go to school without us around."

"Baby, Grandpa will take you and pick you up. You'll be ok." Ali tried to comfort Samuel, but he was unconvinced.

"I want Mama to take me." Sam put his head back down further into Ashlyn's neck. She decided to let Ali handle it because she was ready to cry herself.

"Sweetheart, you need to be a big boy. You're in school now." Ali tried to reason with the 4 year old.

"I want my Mama." He cried. He wasn't being defiant or throwing a fit. He simply didn't want to be separated from his mother.

Ali could tell Ashlyn's heart was about to break. She needed to end this quick.

"Ash, can you please let me have him?" Ali pried him out of Ashlyn's arms. Sam was holding onto Ashlyn's neck tightly and refused to let go. Jake had to help remove his little fingers.

"Samuel, I'm going to talk to Mama right now. I want you to sit next to your big brother for a few minutes. We'll be right back. Can you do that for me?"

Sam nodded and gave a shaky "yes" as his answer. He was trying not to cry.

Ali took her wife's hand and had to refocus her attention from their sad little boy to an adult conversation.

"Baby, what do you wanna do?" Ali asked.

"What do you mean? We can bring him with us?" Ash sounded like she was asking permission.

"I don't know. What do you think? He's only four, we started him a little early in pre-K and he's probably not gonna miss anything we haven't already taught him."

"I would love to bring him." Ashlyn seemed relieved to even discuss the possibility. "But what about the other kids?"

"Jake asked me if he could come along, but I told him he couldn't miss school."

"I don't think he should miss school either. And probably Lex shouldn't either. But how do we let one kid come and not the other two." Ash asked.

"I think we just tell them that he's smaller and he needs a little more attention." Ali answered.

"Lex isn't gonna like that reason."

"You're right. We can't say it like that. Maybe just say because he's younger he can't handle it as well as they can. What do you think?"

Ashlyn thought about her wife's suggestion. She took a good 30 seconds to think it over. "Yeah. I think she would actually respond really well to that. It will make her feel grown up."

"Why don't you tell Sam in private and I will break it to Jake and Lex. I would rather keep them separate in case things go bad."

Ash went straight to her sons and scooped up Sam and carried him outside. Monster followed close behind to protect his little human. Ali closed the glass door behind them and then broke the news to the older children. They handled it better than she had expected. Although, Jacob was more disappointed than she thought he would be.

Ali watched through the closed sliding glass door as her wife sat on a swing holding their son close. She would have expected Sam to snap back to normal and celebrate that he got his way. Instead she watched him continue to hug Ashlyn in a way that looked like he needed comforting. She couldn't stand to be so far away from her youngest if he was hurting or feeling sad. She chose to join them outside.

Ash gave Ali a sad shrug. She didn't know why he was acting this way either.

"Did you tell him what we discussed?" Ali asked.

"Yeah. He just held on to me tighter. Maybe he's having one of his super affectionate and clingy days."

"Maybe." Ali didn't look convinced. "What if he's not ready for school? Maybe that's causing him some anxiety."

Being a parent is hard.

"I wish we always knew the exact right thing to do all the time." Ashlyn said.

"Me too." Ali agreed and put her hand on her son's back. She hoped they were making the right decision.

...

The entire trip to Seattle consisted of Ashlyn carrying Sam around and Ali carrying their luggage.

"This kid is like a human furnace." Both Ashlyn and Sam's faces were bright red.

Ali felt Sam's forehead and sighed. "I think our baby is sick."

"That makes sense of why he's been more clingy than usual." Ash said.

Ali put the back of her hand to Ashlyn's face, as well. "Baby, you better not get sick, too."

"I feel fine."

"That's what you always say."

"Well, I always feel fine."

Ali was expecting for both of her travel companions to be full out sick by tomorrow.

Once they got settled into their hotel room she instructed both her patients to rest up. Ash insisted that she was feeling normal but didn't resist. She fell asleep almost as fast as Samuel.

...

"Sammy, why don't you let me hold you for a little while." Ali whispered to her sleepy son. Ali carefully took him from her wife's arms and gave Ash a little shake to wake her up.

They had slept all through the night since they had arrived in Seattle. Ali knew that Ashlyn wouldn't want to miss practice so she woke her up with plenty of time to get ready.

"Baby, why don't you take a cold shower, you're burning up." Ali wiped her wife's forehead with a cool damp towel.

"What time is it?" Ash asked groggily. She thought she had only slept a few hours and it was still the previous evening.

"It's 8am. Practice is at 10:30am. I'll take care of this guy." Ali nodded towards Sam. "You go get ready."

Ashlyn took a long shower. Her wife was right she felt much better bringing her temperature down. When she finished up her wife had breakfast and plenty of fluids waiting for her.

"Sweetheart, I think you should take it easy today at practice. You need to rest up for Sunday's game." Ali knew her wife had to be smart about the next 2 days or she might not get to play at all.

She did end up taking it easy. Mostly because Samuel refused to leave her side.

...

Game day came fast and Ash was still fighting the virus she caught from her affectionate son. She wasn't nauseous or coughing. She just had a fever and felt tired easily. She knew that she could tough it out for her team.

Sam got VIP treatment. He was well enough to sit on the bench with his Aunt Niki. She kept him hydrated and helped him cheer for his parents. She also made sure everyone else on the bench didn't use bad language around the boy. She knew he wasn't used to that kind of talk at home.

The game was intense. Ashlyn had to stop a lot of shots on goal. The Reign's attack came from every direction and the later in the game it got the harder it was for Ashlyn to stay focused. However, hearing her son's small raspy voice from the sideline helped a lot.

Half-time couldn't come soon enough for Ashlyn. She felt like she needed to sit down and rest just for a minute and then she would feel better.

Once the whistle blew Ali headed straight for her wife.

"You ok?" Ali asked. She put a hand on Ashlyn's lower back and guided her to the bench.

"Yeah, just a little thirsty." Ash answered. She took a long swig from her water bottle and walked slowly with her wife towards their son.

Sam was excited to see them both. He ran into their legs and tried to hug both of them at once. Ali would've picked him up but she was soaked with sweat.

The three of them made their way to the locker room. Ali changed quickly into a dry uniform and then sat down and held Sam on her lap. She saw her wife leaning up against her locker with her eyes closed and legs stretched out. She was taking deep breaths like she was sleeping. Ali thought she might actually be asleep. She knew Ashlyn wouldn't want to be caught napping during their coach's pep talk so she sent their son over to wake her up.

He ran to her and tugged on the bottom of her shorts. He was halfway up his Mama's lap before Ashlyn even knew he was there. When she did see him she smiled and pulled him close to her. He ended up sitting on his knees facing her. He started playing with her face by squishing her cheeks and pushing on her nose. Someone was apparently starting to feel better.

When the second half started Ali made Ashlyn promise to drink water whenever she had a chance. Ashlyn promised and did her best to keep her word.

The game was a defensive battle. Seattle had the better team offensively but the Spirit back line held their own. Ashlyn made a few acrobatic saves and the game stayed tied at zero.

After 90 minutes of play the ref announced 4 minutes of stoppage time. The team knew the upset was a long shot. They were playing against the best team in the league. They not only had to play their best soccer, but they had to make sure Seattle didn't play anywhere near as good as they usually do. They had succeeded at playing their best. The last few minutes would be where they find out what they are really made of.

Syd and Pinoe combined for a great cross and shot on goal. Ashlyn was caught off her line but still managed to get a couple fingers on a diving save that pushed the ball out of bounds just wide of the goal.

Seattle had a corner kick with a minute to go. Rapinoe kicked a beautiful ball that bent towards the goal but unfortunately for the Reign it bent right into the hands of the keeper. Ashlyn cleared the ball quickly and caught the Reign defense off guard.

She found the feet of Lori Lindsay who quickly passed it to Christine Nairn. Nairn cracked a shot from 40 feet that hit the back of the net.

The Spirit were up 1 to 0!

The last 20 seconds of stoppage time felt like 20 minutes. But the game ended in a result favoring the previous year's last place team.

The Washington Spirit had done it. They were going to the championship!

...

While the rest of the team celebrated, the Krieger-Harris' called it a night. Ashlyn didn't even make it to the hotel. She fell asleep on her wife's shoulder on the way. Sam was feeling like his old self again so Ali and Sam-Bam had their own celebration party in their hotel room while Ashlyn slept.

Later that night Hope texted Ali and asked if she could stop by for a visit. She showed up around 30 minutes later and asked if it would be ok to wake up Ashlyn.

Once Ash woke up Sam climbed in her lap and put his head down on her shoulder. It was well past his bedtime.

"Ash, I just wanted to congratulate you. You played a..." Hope looked at Sam and caught herself before she swore, "heck of a game."

"Thanks." Ash was still a little groggy and a lot worn out.

"Remember what I told you the last time our teams played each other? Except you were injured and couldn't play."

Ashlyn looked down and smiled. "Yeah, I remember."

"I told you so." Hope said.

Ali was dying to know what they were talking about. Ashlyn could tell her wife was about to explode with curiosity, so she let her in on their private moment.

"She told me if I don't give up I will be able beat anyone." Ash said. She looked up at Hope and offered a sincere smile of thanks.

"I was hoping I wouldn't be the one you beat, but if I can't win it all, I want you to." Hope meant what she said.

She knew how hard Ash had worked, and then the injury and accident made it seem like the world was against Ashlyn. But Ash kept fighting. And Ash gained a great deal of respect from Hope.

"I'll be cheering for you in the final. I would say I'm your #1 fan but I think this guy takes that title." Hope tickled Sam and then gave her fellow keeper a hug. "I hate that we lost. But I'm proud of you. Keep it up, Harris!"

Hope gave Ali a hug and then left the family to continue their G-rated celebrations.

"Mama, you did good." Sam played with the fingers on Ashlyn's right hand. She didn't know what to say. She felt exhausted and full of energy all at the same time. She was ready to go home and see the rest of her family.

"Oh hey." Ali suddenly remembered something. "I promised Jake he could come to the final if we made it."

Ash finally found the words to say.

"I guess we're all going to the Ship!"

Chapter Text

Ashlyn parked her Jeep and approached the students in front of her son's school. Sam saw her right away and started running towards her. He stopped suddenly as if he remembered something important and ran in the opposite direction. Ashlyn got a kick out of her free spirited son.

Samuel came back holding the hand of another little boy from his class. "Mama, this my friend. His name's Joey."

Ashlyn knelt down and stuck her hand out for the boy to shake. "Hi Joey, nice to meet you. Sam says you two are best buds."

Joey smiled shyly. He didn't seem like one who talked a lot. Sam didn't mind. He was talkative enough for the both of them.

A pretty woman about Ashlyn's age approached them and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Annie. I'm Joey's Mom."

Ashlyn smiled and stood up to shake her hand. "Nice to meet you. My name is Ashlyn. Sam says Joey and him get along really well."

"Yes, Joey has told me the same thing." Annie said. The woman seemed nice. She was pretty but not in a flashy way. It didn't look like she wanted attention based on how she dressed and even spoke. She had a quiet demeanor. Ashlyn wondered if she was shy like her son, Joey.

"Maybe sometime we should get the kids together. I know Sam would really like that." Ash said.

"Maybe." Annie smiled but didn't give a definitive answer.

"You know where to find us. We'll be here all year. We can talk later. Have a great day." Ashlyn wasn't sure if Annie liked the idea or not so she dropped it and they went their separate ways.

"Bye, Joey!" Sam gave his little friend a hug and then pulled on Ashlyn's hand wanting her to pick him up. Ash thought the whole exchange between the two was beyond sweet. She really loved her little 'Love Bug.'

...

"You should've seen them. It was the cutest thing." Ashlyn took a bite of her wife's apple and Ali snatched it back.

"You always take too big of a bite!" Ali complained.

"Sorry. Anyway.." Ash continued to talk with her mouth full of apple chunks "Bam gave Joey a hug before he left. His little arms looked so cute around Joey's little body."

"Aw." Ali put her hand over her heart. "Don't you wish kids stayed like that as they got older? No bullying, just hugs."

"Yeah, that would make me worry a lot less about our kids when they go off to school."

"Have you ever thought about that? I mean, what happens to kids between the 'hugging good-bye' phase and the 'I hate you if you're different' phase?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Is it a family thing, you think? Like will our sweet Sam not turn into a jerk if we raise him right, or does it even matter?" Ash couldn't imagine Sam being anything but sweet and kind, but isn't that how most kids start.

"I think it matters." Ali said.

"Like do you think serial killers start out super cute and sweet?" Ash was sorta getting philosophical.

"I don't know. But what I do know is that over our children's lifetimes we will have the biggest influence on their lives. Hopefully they will know they are loved and perfect just the way they are."

"Yeah, but they're probably gonna go through that phase where they think they know everything and we're just on earth to make them miserable and to embarrass them." Ashlyn sighed.

"But then they'll come back when they get a little older and tell us how now that they're older and wiser that we didn't do half bad." Ali put her hands loosely on her wife's hips and stepped in close to her. "They'll thank us for loving them even when it was hard and for always being there for them no matter what."

Ashlyn pictured the future her wife had described and a smile snuck it's way to her face. "Hmm that doesn't sound too bad."

"Not at all." Ali kissed her wife's jaw and hid her face in her chest. Ashlyn embraced her and kissed her on the temple. She took a deep breath in Ai's hair and felt a peace fill her bones. To her home smelled like Ali.

Ali patted her wife's sides to pull her out of the moment and asked her about Sam's new friend. "What do you think about having Joey and his mom over sometime?"

"Sounds good to me, but I don't know if his mom will go for it. She seemed really shy. Actually they both seemed shy." Ashlyn said.

"Well, maybe they were intimidated by how hot you are." Ali joked.

"You're ridiculous." Ash gave her wife a kiss and recommended that they move their discussion to the bedroom.

Ali was all for it but warned her they had to be quick because Sam would probably wake up from his nap soon.

They weren't quick. But Sam managed to entertain himself long enough in his room with his dog for the women to get things done properly.
...

The next day Ash kept an eye out for Joey and his mother. When she dropped Sam off neither of them were there. She figured they must've been late and didn't think much of it. She looked for them when she picked him up but again they were nowhere to be found. When she asked Sam about his friend he said Joey was absent from school.

It took almost a week for Ashlyn to see Joey. She saw him when she dropped Sam off and asked if he was sick the previous week. He said his mother was the one who wasn't feeling well. Ashlyn looked around the room but Annie must've already left because she was no where to be found.

After saying good-bye to Sam, who was handling the separation much better than when he first started school, she headed outside to her Jeep. As she was crossing the parking lot someone ran into her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." It was the man from Sam's first day of school. Ash and Ali had gotten into a minor disagreement about the guy and his intentions. Ashlyn had purposely ran into him to show him that she wouldn't back down if he ever tried anything with her wife. She didn't think him running into her was an accident.

"Well, I'm here." She answered. She was still trying to decide if she should be suspicious of him or not.

"I see that. You know, you're a lively one aren't you?" He looked Ash up and down and licked his lips. Ash was disgusted.

She decided she definitely shouldn't trust him.

"You have no idea." Ashlyn had a mini can of pepper spray on her key chain and she had it behind her back ready to go.

"How's that pretty wife of your's?" He was trying to get a response out of Ashlyn. She knew it too.

"She's great. Better than me, actually. I'm sure where ever she is and whatever she's doing she's having a more pleasant time."

The creepy man laughed. "You know, I'm a police officer and I have access to loads of public and private information. Take for example this vehicle of yours'." The man put a hand on her window and left a greasy print. "I could run your plates and find out exactly where you and that pretty wife of your's lives."

"Are you threatening me?" She had her thumb on the spray bottle behind her back ready to go.

"No, of course not. That would be an invasion of privacy. I would never do that, and I would never allow anyone to do that to me either." He put his hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Drive safely."

Ashlyn didn't know what to think. He was acting like he thought she might know more about him that she did. The guy gave her the creeps and confirmed her suspicions that he couldn't be trusted. If he couldn't be trusted with her or Ali, he definitely couldn't be trusted with Sam. She was going to make sure that man never had a chance to be anywhere alone with her son.

She spoke to Ali about the interaction and Ali agreed that something had to be done. They had discussed a plan that would involve Ali picking up Sam early from school and Ashlyn showing up at the usual pick up time to talk to the teacher and the principle.

At first they debated about whether they should say something. They second guessed themselves over and over, but it all came down to prioritizing safety for the children.

They didn't report him as having broken any laws or anything like that, they had no idea what he was really like, but Ash did tell them that they should be watchful when he's around. She didn't trust him and as a parent she had every right to speak up and expect them to listen.

...

The next day when Ash picked up Sam she noticed he was talking with Joey and his mom, Annie, was there too.

"Hey, there." Ash greeted them. Sam got excited the moment he heard her voice.

"Mama!" Sam jumped up with his arms stretched out expecting Ashlyn to catch him. Ashlyn was used to the boy's excited greeting and was more than ready. She caught him in her arms and gave him a big hug. She held him on her hip and decided to try to talk to Annie again.

"Thanks for hanging out with this guy until I got here." Ash said.

"No problem. They just came outside a few minutes ago." Annie replied.

"Joey said your weren't feeling well. I hope everything's ok."

"Yeah, I'm fine. No big deal." The woman seemed to have opened up but as soon as Ashlyn mentioned her being sick she put her head down and crossed her arms over her chest. She looked really uncomfortable about the conversation.

Ashlyn noticed but continued talking like she didn't. "My wife and I would love to have Joey and you over for a play date some time."

"Your wife? You're the gay couple." The woman acted like she had heard about Ali and Ashlyn before.

"Yeah. Is that ok?"

"Oh yes. Of course! I didn't mean for it to sound the way it must've sounded." Ashlyn could tell the woman was flustered.

"It's no problem. I'm used to a lot worse. Trust me." Ash said trying to comfort the woman.

"I believe you. Some people can be cruel." The woman's eyes seemed to glaze over as if she was thinking of a particular person or moment in particular. "I'm just always saying stupid things. I get nervous and never know what will come out." The woman gave Ashlyn a small genuine smile.

"It's no problem. If you ever need to talk, my wife and I are excellent play dates too." They both shared a short laugh and then exchanged numbers to later set something up.

Sam was getting fidgety and was anxious to play with Monster. They had set up an after school routine that seemed to make Sam feel less anxious about his change of schedule since starting school. They would pick him up around noon and then let him have a snack. After the snack he played with Monster for a little while and then took a nap.

They realized that the extra time he had to pay close attention and learn new things at school was wearing him out both physically and mentally which made him a bit emotional and cranky. Snack time + Monster time + Nap time = Happy well-balanced Sammy.

It made perfect sense to his parents. Who wouldn't want to eat, cuddle with a puppy, and sleep after a stressful day? They had found Sam's recipe for happiness.

Ashlyn and Sam said good-bye to their new friends and headed home. Ashlyn was extra vigilant when arriving and departing from Sam's school just in case the creepy guy was even more creepy than he led on.

...

Ali and Ash ended up having Joey and his mom over the next day after school. Annie had let them know that they wouldn't be able to stay long, but that she was thankful for the invitation. Ash played outside with the kids and Monster while Ali and Anne talked inside.

"I'm glad you were able to make it today." Ali said.

"Sorry we can't stay longer." Annie replied.

"It's no big deal. Sam usually takes a nap after a short playtime with our dog, so it's probably for the best anyway."

"This coffee is delicious." Annie held up the mug she was sipping from.

"Oh yeah, we don't mess around when it comes to coffee. If Ash doesn't have 2 cups in the morning we might as well avoid her for the rest of the day." Ali joked.

Annie got serious and said, "I know what you mean. If I don't have my husband's breakfast ready in the morning he can be..." She caught herself before she said another word. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about. I get it. Sometimes marriage is hard."

"You have no idea." Again Annie regretted letting her mouth say exactly what was on her mind. She wondered if Ali could be trusted with her secrets.

Ashlyn came inside as Ali was trying to think of a response. She was glad to see her wife. Ashlyn didn't even think about the peck on the lips she gave Ali on her way to the kitchen for some drinks for the kids.

"She seems to really love you." Annie said after Ashlyn went back to the kids outside.

"Yeah she's ok, I guess." Ali joked. She knew Ashlyn was the best.

"She seems really sweet and kind. Your son is the same. That's one reason I like Joey hanging out with him. He doesn't get a lot of that sort of thing at home." Annie wanted to have someone she could finally talk to. She decided to let Ali be her friend.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Everyone deserves kindness." Ali thought back about her family's quest to be kind to others. She was pleased to hear her 4 year old had gotten the message and had a chance to make an impact on a boy who obviously needed it. It's amazing how big a difference the smallest act of kindness can make.

"My husband..." Annie paused. "He sometimes loses his temper. His job is really stressful. He works at a bank. Poor Joey is scared to death of him."

Ali hated to hear of any child who had to live in fear. Her wife told her stories about her tough childhood growing up and Ali imagined little Joey suffering the same way. Her heart also broke for the woman in front of her.

"If you ever need to get away or someone to talk to, you know where to find us." Ali didn't really think about it, she just offered this woman a safe place for her and her son. She didn't know how huge of an offer she just made.

"Thanks, I appreciate that."

Both women were interrupted by Ashlyn carrying the two boys, one in each arm, inside to join them. Sam had his head down on Ash's shoulder and Joey copied his position on Ashlyn's other shoulder. Ali made Ashlyn pose for a quick picture with the boys because the cuteness level was on overdrive.

"I think our two little superheroes are all tuckered out." Ash said.

"It is about nap time for Sammy." Ali said. Sam did not like that one bit.

"No, Mommy! I'm not tired." His mouth said he wasn't tired but the rest of his body disagreed.

"Baby, you need your rest so you can keep getting big and strong." Ali used two fingers to stroke his sweaty hair. He and Joey had worked up a sweat in the heat of the day.

Annie took Joey from Ashlyn and thanked her for keeping a close eye on her son. She left with him, promising to visit again soon.

Ali and Ash both went through Sam's nap routine with him. He had loyal Monster by his side as they read him a story and gave him milk and a few cookies. The boy fell asleep quickly and allowed for the women to have a little time to themselves before Lex's school bus dropped her off.

"Are you ok?" Ash asked her wife. The two had gone to the living room to watch tv while they waited for their daughter to get home.

"Hmm? What?" Ali asked. She was zoning out. Her mind was somewhere else.

"You just seem a little sad. I hate it when you're sad." Ash said and put an arm around her wife. She pulled her into her side and let Ali rest her head on her shoulder.

"Annie just said some stuff that made me think their family isn't very happy." Ali said sadly.

"Yeah, I kinda picked up on that too. I overheard Joey ask Sam about his dad and when Bam told him he didn't have a dad, Joey actually said he was glad for him."

"Why would he say that?"

"Well, I mean they're four so I tried to put it all together but I don't think Joey's dad is a very nice man. He almost seemed afraid of him."

"That's terrible." Ali reached across Ashlyn's waist with her arm and laid her head on her chest. She needed more comforting contact with her wife. Ashlyn rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head.

Ali's words were a little muffled by Ashlyn's shirt but she said, "I may have offered our place to them if they ever need it. It just kinda came out."

"It's ok. I'm glad to help them, if they need it." Ashlyn reassured her wife.

Ali lifted her head and pressed her lips against her wife's mouth. The two shared and intimate moment before going back to their conversation. "And that's why I love you so much."

Later that night Ali remembered the picture she took of Ashlyn and the boys and texted it to Annie. She was glad that her and her wife had decided to help their new friends in any way that they could.

She had no idea what they were getting themselves into.

Chapter Text

Joe Sr. heard his wife's phone alert that she received a message. He pulled out the phone from her purse and opened the text message from a number he didn't recognize.

What he saw made him go ballistic.

...

Ali woke up to Monster barking like crazy. Sam was trying to get him to come back to his room but the dog wouldn't budge from the front door.
He stood behind him yelling. "Monster, stop! Bad dog! You go to time-out!"

Ali called to her son from the top of the stairs and told him to come upstairs immediately. Once he got upstairs Ali took him into her bedroom and woke up her wife.

"Baby, wake up! I think someone's here!" Ali shook her wife trying to get her to wake up faster than she usually does. Luckily the mixture of her wife's panic stricken voice and their dog barking caused her adrenalin to kick in and she woke up immediately.

"What's wrong?" Ash asked.

Sam sensed that Ali was worried and it scared him. He was told that his dog Monster would protect him from monsters and now he heard his dog going crazy. Sam was sure there was a big hairy goblin outside trying to eat him. Samuel grabbed Ali's neck
and wouldn't let go.

"Samuel, it's ok." Ali tried to calm her little one, but it was no use since she was just as nervous as he was.

"You two stay here, I'll check on it." Ashlyn left them to wait for her. The other two kids woke up with all of the commotion and joined Ali and Sam to wait on Ashlyn.

Ali sat in the middle of her and Ashlyn's bed with her two smallest children held close. Jacob was on high alert and stood watch at the bedroom door.

Ashlyn somehow got Monster to stop barking. A few moments later the dog ran to Sam's side wagging his tail and licking the boy's face. Sam assumed that the goblin must have went home because Monster seemed happy and calm.

Ashlyn returned to their bedroom a few minutes after the dog and asked for Ali to talk to her in the hall. Ash assured everyone that everything was fine and that she would explain everything soon.

Ali closed the door behind her and searched her wife's face for answers.

"Annie and Joey are here. I had them settle into the guest room." Ashlyn took her wife's hand knowing that she would go back to panic mode. "Her husband is abusive. She said that she needed a safe place for her son to stay. She wanted to drop him off and I don't know what she was planning to do after that but..."

Ashlyn's strength cracked for a moment and Ali saw her wife's bottom lip quiver. She placed her hand on the side of her face and used her thumb to cover Ashlyn's lips.

"It's ok. We will all try to get some sleep and then sort it all out in the morning. I'll go talk to her, ok? You take care of the kids." It was Ali's turn to be strong. This was a situation that hit too close to home for Ashlyn. She needed to take a breather.

...

Ashlyn had to explain to her children something that no child should ever have to experience. She was thankful for the life and family that Ali and her had built but she hated that she couldn't shelter her kids from the evil in the world. She wanted them to be safe and that meant that they have to know the truth about the world. She didn't know how much to share, but she knew she had to say something.

When Ali left to check on their guests, Ashlyn had the children gather around her on the bed. Sam snuggled into Ashlyn's side and held Monster in his lap. Lex was freaked out. Ashlyn pulled her into her own lap and told Jacob to sit next to her. She wanted her children as close to her as possible.

"Monster was barking because there was someone at our door." Ashlyn said.

"Who would come this late at night?" Jacob asked. It was 2am.

"Sam's friend Joey and his mom." Ash answered.

"Joey's here?" Sam got excited. He wanted to see his friend. He started to get up so he could go play with him.

"Hold on a minute, Bam." Ash pulled him back into her and kept her arm firmly around his waist.

"Why are they here?" Jacob could tell the situation was serious. He was worried about his own family's safety. He had seen too many things in his lifetime not to be able to put some of the pieces together.

"Well..." Ashlyn paused for a moment and took a breath to collect herself. "...Joey's dad isn't a very nice man. He hurt Joey's mom, and they came here to get away."

Lexi looked up at Ashlyn and asked, "Can we help her, Mama?" To hear her most anxious child want to help someone in a highly stressful situation reminded Ashlyn that light still exists even in a dark time.

"We are going to help both of them, Princess. I'm proud of you for wanting to help them." Ashlyn gave Lex a kiss on the cheek and held her even closer.

"Mama, Joey hurt?" Sam was trying to figure things out. Ashlyn was thankful that violence was a foreign thing to the boy.

"He's ok. His Mom protected him." She took the back of his head in her hand and pulled it close to kiss.

Sam smiled. He was happy that his friend was ok.

"Mama." Jake wanted to say more but he stopped himself.

Ashlyn knew exactly what he was thinking. "We're all safe here."

She reassured him that the man who hurt his wife didn't know where they lived. Their safety wasn't threatened by helping this woman and child.

"How about if we all sleep in here tonight?" The younger children cheered at the suggestion for an impromptu slumber party. Jacob was glad to have everyone in the same place. He felt like he could protect them more easily.

Ash brought over Ali's laptop and instructed them to pick out a movie. She suggested to Sam that he say goodnight to his friend Joey. She could imagine what that child was going through. It broke her heart to think about.

...

After Ashlyn told Ali about their new guests Ali headed downstairs to check on them. She knocked gently on the guest room door and waited for Annie to open it. She had a very scared child in her arms.

"Hi." Ali said sympathetically. She put a hand on the boy's head and gave her focus back to his mother. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, it's nothing new for me." Annie said. Ali knew she didn't want to get too detailed about things because she didn't want her son to overhear. "I'm sorry about coming over like this. It's been so long since I've had any friends. Maybe I shouldn't have come."

"It's ok. We're glad you're here. Trust me. We would rather you be here than somewhere...else." Ali was trying to be careful with her words around the boy.

Ali switched into hostess mode to try and keep everyone calm. "So, I'm assuming my wife just showed you the room and left."

"Well, yeah basically."

Ali laughed. If there's anything she can count on it's her wife forgetting about the little details.

"Let me give you a quick tour." She showed her the bathroom. "The kids have their own bathroom upstairs so you won't have to worry about privacy. The only time they use this one is if Sam plays scientist and makes a huge mess in theirs." The mention of Sam's creative ways got a smile out of both house guests.

She showed them a closet in the hallway and said, "Here are towels, blankets, sheets...really anything you might need for your room. We can get Joey some of Sam's clothes if he needs them." Annie was so appreciative. She forgot a lot of things trying to sneak out of her house in the late hours of the night.

"You know where the kitchen is." Ali turned to her with a somewhat stern face. "Now, you make yourself at home. Eat whatever you want. Cook whatever you want. We want you to feel at home. Don't be shy."

Ali gave her a hug and they both saw Ashlyn carrying Sam down the stairs to meet them. Ali gave her wife a questioning look. She would've thought Ashlyn would keep their son away from this situation until morning. She didn't want Sam to have nightmares or to worry about anything.

Ashlyn could tell Ali wasn't impressed with her decision to bring Sam along to check on the guests, so she quickly explained. "Sam thought Joey could use this." Sam had a Superman blanket in his arms.

Something that might seem insignificant like what blanket a child uses, can actually make a big difference to that child. Ali wordlessly thanked her wife. Ashlyn knew what Ali was thinking. They both gave each other a small smile.

As soon as Joey saw Sam he perked up. Sam reached out from Ashlyn's arms and Joey did the same. The two boys shared a quick hug as they greeted one another. The adults marveled at this small act of kindness. How does a four year old know just what is needed at a time like this?

"I think these two might like to raid Sam's room for a toy that Joey can borrow tonight." Ashlyn wanted to have an adult conversation with the other women.

After the women put the boys down, Sam grabbed Joey's hand and led him upstairs to his bedroom. They ended up getting sidetracked by the sound of Curious George playing in Sam's parents' room. They joined Jake and Lexi and climbed onto Ali and Ashlyn's bed.

While the boys got more acquainted with their favorite monkey, Ashlyn decided to get serious.

"Where did he hurt you?" Ashlyn got right down to business.

Ali was mortified. "Ashlyn!" She was afraid her wife was being insensitive and rude.

"Alex, she may need medical attention." Ash said. Ali understood that her wife was right. They can't dance around what happened, if they want to truly help.

Annie lifted up her shirt and revealed some old and new bruises on her ribs and stomach.

Ali gasped. She couldn't understand how anyone could hurt another person.

"You need to go to the hospital. You could have broken ribs or internal bleeding." Ali said.

"I can't go. He'll find me if I go to the hospital." Annie was terrified that her husband would look everywhere for her and their son. A hospital would be one of the first places he would check.

"You need medical attention." Ashlyn wasn't going to let Annie's husband control her with fear anymore. "We'll take you to our team trainer in the morning and he'll work out the details. We have access to private medical care so I think you should be fine."

Ali thought Ashlyn was a genius. She looked at her with awe. "That's brilliant!"

"It's not brilliant. It's lucky. We have the perfect situation to help her but only for a few more days before we travel to Kansas City for the final. We can take her to practice in the morning and we'll figure it out from there." Ash said.

"What about the boys?" Ali knew that school would be another place where Annie's husband would look for Joey.

"Well, first things first, we need to get her checked out and then get a restraining order." Ashlyn wasn't gonna mess around. This guy deserved to pay.

"I can't press charges." Annie said. "He owns everything. I have nothing. He controls every detail of our lives. If I go to the police we'll lose everything."

"Annie, we'll figure all this out together. If you pretend like nothing happened and let him do whatever he wants, you and Joey will always be living in fear. That's not an acceptable solution for me." Ash had absolutely no sympathy for an abusive and manipulative person. It was time for Joe Sr. to lose control over his wife and son and to be held responsible for the pain he has caused.

"It's not that simple. He's a security guard at a bank. He has cop friends. They'll take his side." Annie was shaking.

"Is that what he told you? He's manipulating you. You don't have to settle for that. Your life isn't over!" Ashlyn was getting passionate and coming on a little too strong.

"Ash, why don't we let her sleep on it. We can talk about this in the morning. But I think we should keep the kids out of school for the day. I can have my dad watch them, if that's ok with you, Annie." She knew that her and Ashlyn were very particular about who they let watch their kids so she wanted to make sure Annie would be comfortable with her idea. She didn't want to force anything on her. It was time for Annie to find her voice.

"Yes, of course." Annie answered.

"We're not going to force you to do anything. We just want you and Joey to be safe." Ali put a hand on her shoulder and offered her a sincere smile.

"Thank you. That's all I want too."

...

The next morning was a late morning. The whole family plus their two guests slept in longer than they had intended. At first Ali thought she would only keep Sam home and send Jake and Lex to school, but the entire family was up late and had little sleep so she changed her mind when she heard the alarm at 5:40am. She discussed the decision with Ashlyn who grunted a response. Ali assumed she was on board with the idea.

The Spirit had an afternoon practice so they weren't worried about missing anything team related, but they didn't want to delay medical help for Annie any longer.

They decided that Ali would stay with the kids and have a big breakfast while Ash took Annie to their training facility to see what could be done to help their friend.

Ali pulled her wife aside with a few departing words, "Sweetheart, I need you to respect her decisions. Whatever she may decide. She's been bullied long enough. I know you have good intentions but you have to be gentle. We can't force her to do something, even if it's the right thing for her to do. So please....be nice."

Ashlyn was completely caught off guard. "I know all that. Why would you even say that?"

"It's just that last night you came on a little strong and I think you made her uncomfortable." Ali could see the hurt in her wife's face. "I know you want to punish this guy. Just remember we need to protect Annie and Joey first."

"Ok."

Ali felt bad. Ash was offended that Ali didn't trust her handling of things. "Sweetheart, I know you'll do a great job. I just wanted to remind you to remember who the enemy is."

"Like in the hunger games." Ash smirked.

"I can't believe at a time like this you would reference a movie. And it's Catching Fire, by the way. Anyway, I love you. I'll see you soon." Ali gave her wife a loving kiss and could tell things were fine between them.

"Book." Ash interrupted their kiss.

"What?"

"Catching Fire was a book first. The movies are good but they don't compare to the books so..."

"You're such a nerd!" Ali couldn't hold back a hearty chuckle. Her wife was too much.

...

Ashlyn and Annie loaded up in the Jeep. Annie had something on her mind but she was afraid to say it. Between Ash and Ali, Ashlyn had a more intimidating look to Annie. She knew she couldn't keep the truth from the family that was helping save her and her son. But she was afraid they wouldn't want anything to do with her if she was completely honest.

Ashlyn could tell that Annie was tense. She remembered her wife's words and thought maybe she had been too rough with her and caused her to be nervous or scared around her. She never intended or wanted that to happen.

"Annie, are you ok? I'm sorry if you've felt like I've pushed you too hard. I just want to help. We can go at your pace. Whatever makes you comfortable."

Annie felt ashamed that she hadn't said anything sooner. She knew she had to speak up. It was now or never.

"I don't want you to hate me." She hated herself.

Ashlyn reached over to grabbed Annie's hand and tried to encourage her. "There's no reason for me to hate you. You're doing the best you can't to take care of Joey."

"It's not that. I just...I'm worried that once you know the truth, you'll think you've made a big mistake by helping me." Annie's voice was shaking.

"What's the truth? What are you talking about?" Ashlyn let go of Annie's hand. She didn't know what to expect.

Would she realize it's all been a big mistake?

Chapter Text

Joe Sr. woke up late with an awful headache. He had too much to drink the night before and vaguely remembered getting into a fight with his wife. She was always good at upsetting him. He thought she would've learned by now how to properly conduct herself. But she wasn't smart enough to figure it out. He was exhausted by her stupidity.

She usually would be back home by now after dropping off their son. Joe Sr. preferred to let her handle things that involved the boy. He viewed little Joey as just another mouth to feed.

He didn't allow his wife to work, since he didn't trust her to behave if she had her own money. He figured no one would want to hire her anyway. She wasn't worth much to begin with.

As he hurried to put on his uniform and straighten his badge, he began to put together some of the details of last night. He finished at work, stopped for a few drinks at the bar, and then found his dinner sitting on the table cold. Their son was asleep already and his wife was in the shower. He heard his wife's phone beep and dug it out of her purse.

He opened the new message she had received and saw his son in the arms of the woman he had met at Joey's school. Only the background wasn't the school but an unfamiliar looking house.

His wife had snuck out during the day without his permission. And she did it with a woman that the man had strictly forbid her to talk to. He figured the tattooed woman must have been the one who sent the picture to his wife.

He told Annie that if she ever tried anything like that again, he would kill her and make sure her new friend regretted ever meeting her.

The man didn't want his wife to have any friends. She talked too much and revealed private things that were nobody's business. As far as he was concerned she was his property.

After finding the picture on Annie's phone he met her in their room when she was changing for bed and made her regret her decision to spend time with the blonde woman from their son's school.

...

On his way to work he cursed his wife. Why did she always make him so angry and cause him to do the things he does? All he wants is a wife that respects him and does what is right in his eyes. He was angry that she made him hurt her again.

She wasn't at their house when he left for work. He figured she took their son to school. They would take turns doing this chore. There were some days when he didn't want anyone asking too many questions about a bruise or mark on his wife. Those were the days he dropped off and picked up his son from school.

At work he was reprimanded for arriving late. His boss was an idiot and he needed someone to show him his proper place in the world. Joe would've done it himself but he had been fired from his last several jobs and didn't want to risk losing another job.

He walked around the building with an angry glare. The only time he would share a smile with someone was when a police officer came into the bank. He pictured himself to be like them. He wanted the authority and power that they had. He figured he could do a lot of good in this world if he was in charge of getting rid of all the waste of oxygen traveling around in human form. He longed to carry a gun and wear a real badge.

But he was stuck playing make-believe with a bunch of morons.

There was a woman there, who was always so cheerful. He wanted to beat her face in. Then maybe she would stop smiling. This thought brought a smirk to his face.

There was an old man who had been working at the bank probably longer than Joe had been alive. He was waiting for the ancient guy to die. What was the point of him even being there? He moved slow and smelled funny. Joe found him disgusting.

Most people didn't deserve to live, in his opinion. They were either too stupid, weak, or useless to have his respect.

The thing that angered him the most was people being disrespectful to him. People needed to know their place. If they didn't behave appropriately then he would make sure to remedy that.

This was always the problem with his wife. Annie never truly learned her proper place. She didn't understand that she needed to respect him and obey him. He was the best she would ever be able to get. If anything, he lowered himself to be with her. She needed to be more appreciative. She would have nothing without him.

He remembered the time he put a man in the hospital because she dressed too provocatively and the man tried to hit on her. Both the stranger and his wife learned a lesson that day. Annie never dressed that way again.

One time he ran over a cat on accident and his wife cried the rest of the way home. Joe Sr. laughed at her. She was so pathetic. Who cares about a cat? Ever since then he would try to hit animals on purpose to remind his wife of how weak she was and how much power he had.

...

He hated his job and would sometimes surprise his wife and arrive home during his lunch break. This helped him keep tabs on her and make sure she could be caught at anytime if she tried to do something he didn't like. He knew she was always scheming against him.

He kept track of her money, gas usage and mileage on her car. He checked her messages and searched her purse. He timed her when she went out to go grocery shopping or hang out with her family. He later put an end to her visiting family at all. They were starting to put ideas in her head that he didn't think were productive.

She began to challenge his controlling and what she called "manipulative" ways and he quickly silenced her by threatening their son, her life, and by telling her that he had a lot of friends that were police officers that he had met through his job at the bank. He warned her not to try anything because his police friends would side with him and make her life hell. This was a lie, but she was too stupid to figure it out. He had convinced her that she had no hope. No chance. And no worth.

That night when he returned home from work his house was empty. There was no food on the table and no sign of his family.

He tore the place apart looking for any kind of a clue to where the woman and boy were. A flash of blonde and tattoos sparked in his mind. He put his fist through a wall and vowed to punish the woman who had poisoned his wife against him.

...

Ashlyn asked Annie once again, "What is the truth? What are you afraid to tell me?"

Annie put her head in her hands and began to cry. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

Ashlyn pulled over to a nearby parking lot and turned the car off. She put a hand on her passenger's back and said, "Annie, what is it?"

She looked up and met Ashlyn's concerned gaze. Her own eyes filled with tears and fear. "He saw your picture. The one with you and Sam and Joey. He said he would kill you if I ever saw you again." She broke down into heavy and painful sobs.

Ashlyn pulled away from her and needed a moment to digest what the woman had just told her. She didn't know her husband. She didn't know if the threat was something she should worry about. All she knew was that a desperate woman sitting next to her had finally made a decision to stand up to her abuser.

She wasn't about to give the man any more power over her new friend.

"We'll figure it all out, Annie. He's the one who should feel bad about his actions, not you. But I hope you agree now, that we need to go to the police. If you give in to him in fear now, you will never be free from him."

Ashlyn wasn't scared for herself. But she was scared for her wife and children. She wasn't going to let an abusive and manipulative man take away her family's sense of security. She wouldn't let anyone hurt those closest to her. This man would pay for his actions.

Ashlyn would make sure of it.

...

Joe Sr. sat home alone with a broken hand and heart filled with hate. He spent the night planning his next move to bring his family home.

Chapter Text

Ali brought all four kids to practice and met her dad there. She introduced Ken to Annie and Joey and arranged for Ken to take the children to go bowling while they waited for practice to end. Annie had to get a few x-rays and afterward Ashlyn was going to go with her to the police department to press charges against her husband.

After Ken left with the kids, Annie left with a trainer to get the necessary tests done. Ali had spent all morning taking care of the kids. Once they were gone she shifted her focus on her wife. Ashlyn was facing a lot of things that she had to deal with in her own past. She was being a pillar of strength for Annie and Joey, but Ali knew that it couldn't be easy for her to re-live some of the things she worked so hard to overcome.

Ali jogged slowly up and down the sideline next to her wife. They were warming up for practice and getting their blood flowing. Ali thought this would be a good time for her to talk to her wife. Ashlyn despised running. The conversation would distract her from her hatred for jogging.

"Baby, how are you doing with all of this?" Ali asked.

"What do you mean?" Ashlyn wanted to make sure she didn't worry her wife. Especially after what Annie had told her on the way there. She knew Ali was very protective. She didn't want Ali to feel anything but safe.

"I mean all of this is sorta close to home for you. I thought maybe it brought some old things up."

Ashlyn really loved her wife. She should have known she would be thinking about her at a time like this. "Babe, I'm fine. I just want to help Annie and Joey. I hate abuse of any kind."

"What did the trainer say about her injuries?"

"He said he doesn't think she has any internal injuries."

"Thank God!" Ali was relieved. A serious injury would only complicate things more for the woman and her son.

A whistle blew through the air. It was time to start drills. They stopped jogging and Ashlyn ended their conversation with a smile and quick tap on Ali's butt.

...

"Grandpa Ken!" Joey shouted excitedly. "Look at my pins." The little boy felt like part of the family. Ali's Dad loved every child he ever met and knew how to make them feel special. Joey had never known anyone like him.

"Wow! Great job, Joey!" Ken gave the boy a high-five and Sam joined in on the fun.

"Good job, Joey!" Sam gave his friend a pat on the back. "Look at this." Sam showed his little buddy his brand new bowling dance. It involved sliding on the slippery lane. Grandpa Ken about had a heart attack.

"Samuel!" He ran towards him and jumped on the side bumper of the lane and took a few steps. He picked up his grandson who had slid at least 10 feet down the lane. "You gotta stay on this side of the line, Bam." Once Sam was safe and out of trouble, Ali's Dad couldn't help but laugh. His youngest grandson always made life interesting.

"Grandpa." Princess Lexi had walked up behind her grandfather and put her hand in his. "Can we get pizza?" Grandpa Ken didn't know it but his oldest grandson had coaxed his only granddaughter to ask for the pizza. Lexi and her big blue eyes could never be denied by their Grandpa.

"Sure, princess. Why don't you go with your big brother and order what you want." He pulled out his wallet and handed the girl some money to cover it. Jake kept an eye on the whole exchange and jumped up ready to help out with the important pizza-getting endeavor.

...

Annie made it back to practice before the players were done. She waited on the sideline for her friends to finish up. Ali saw her and waited for a break in drills to jog over to her.

"What did the doctor say?" Ali asked, a little out of breath.

"I have a broken rib, but she said it was probably an old injury that never healed." Annie explained. Ali wondered how anyone could hurt such a wonderful woman.

"I'm so sorry. Are you in a lot of pain?"

"No, the doctor gave me a prescription for some medicine." She gave a small smile.

"I'm so glad you're ok." Ali gave her hand a squeeze. "We're just finishing up. I better get back."

"See ya soon."

After practice Annie filled Ashlyn in on what they had found out. They were all relieved and ready to take the next steps needed to help Annie and Joey move forward.

The next stop for Annie and Ashlyn was the police department. It was time to make Joe Sr. pay.

...

Ali, her dad, and the children were back at the Krieger-Harris house waiting for Ashlyn and Annie to come home. Ali was a nervous wreck. For some reason taking the step of reporting the crime made it seem more real to her. And she couldn't shake her feeling of worry for her wife. Even though Ashlyn told her that she was fine, her intuition told her otherwise.

The two women returned home and Ali sprung into action. She had told her Dad ahead of time to keep the kids entertained in the backyard while she caught up with the women. Ali went straight to her wife.

"How'd every thing go?"

Ashlyn saw the worry in her wife and put an arm around her and pulled her into her side. "You need to stop worrying so much, woman."

"Everything went fine. We filed for a restraining order and they said that they could arrest him based on the evidence." Annie said.

"That's wonderful. I feel so much better!" Ali left Ashlyn's side and gave Annie a hug. Annie excused herself to go spend time with her son. He was now her whole world. Every dream, every fight, everything was for him.

Ali returned to her wife's arms and let her hold her. She felt a reassurance in Ashlyn's embrace that told her everything was going to be ok.

"Are you ok?" Ashlyn whispered into Ali's ear.

"I am now." Ali looked up into her wife's eyes. "Now that it's over."

Ashlyn hesitated. She had learned a lot from being married to a chronic worrier. She had learned that even though it might seem right to hide things from Ali to protect her from worrying, if something was serious enough, complete honesty was required. In this case, Ashlyn knew she had to fill in some of the blanks for her wife.

"Babe, it's not anywhere near over. Sorry to break it to you. Annie has nothing. Right now, I just spent $198 on her pain meds. She has no money. Nowhere to live. Her husband will get arrested and maybe go to prison for anywhere from 6 months to 10 years. There's no way of knowing. He may even have a chance to get out early on good behavior and then what?" Ashlyn watched her wife's eyes go wide.

She continued. "He will have a restraining order, but a man like him probably won't obey it. Who knows what he might try before the police get to him? It's going to be a long time before things become normal for her. And she's going to need a lot of help."

"I guess I always pictured him going away forever, you know?" Ali reasoned.

"I wish that were the case." Ashlyn thought about what Annie had told her in her Jeep earlier that day. She thought for a split second to tell Ali, but she couldn't do it. She didn't know if her wife could take one more thing to worry about. Besides she had already decided she would take care of it herself.

...

The next morning the women decided to keep Sam and Joey home from school. They wanted to allow enough time for Joe Sr. to get arrested before they returned. They had to make sure he didn't have any more chances to hurt them again.

Ashlyn had left early that morning to run a quick errand, at least that's what she told Ali. She actually went to Sam's school to see if Joe Sr. would show up. She needed to make sure her friends and family were safe.

She found a bench in the side yard of the school that gave her a good view of the parking lot. All she knew about the man was that he was abusive and a security guard. She didn't know what he looked like, but she knew he knew what she looked like because of the picture Ali sent Annie. She didn't know if her plan would work or even if she wanted it too, but she was there and she was ready to fight for her family.

She waited about 15 minutes and questioned her sanity. Then she noticed a familiar face. The man who told her he was a police officer was looking into the driver side window of her Jeep. He had a uniform on but it didn't look official. It looked like a cheap version of a cop uniform. All of a sudden everything clicked.

The man who threatened her in the parking lot was Joe Sr.

She sprinted toward him. She had her keys in her hand and her thumb on the trigger of the pepper spray. She yelled out to him, "Get away from my car!"

The man was surprised, but she was exactly who he was looking for. "Where's my family?"

"How should I know? I don't even know who you are." Ashlyn figured ignorance would be the best argument.

"I saw you holding my son. I told you I'm a cop and that I could find where you live. Don't mess with me. You'll regret it!"

Ashlyn laughed at him. "You're not a cop. Maybe a mall cop with that uniform."

Ashlyn's disrespect enraged him. He slammed her into the side of her Jeep. The man didn't have a large build. His anger was the source of his strength. He wasn't used to a woman who fights back. Ashlyn kneed him in the groin and when he reflexively bent down from the pain she kneed him again in the face.

The man stumbled towards Ashlyn and grabbed hold of her neck. He had her pinned against the Jeep but Ash could tell he was in pain and even weaker than when the fight started. Instead of pushing him away she grabbed the front of his shirt and held on tight. Once she had a good grip she dropped all of her weight to the ground causing the man to fall forward and hit his head on the glass of Ashlyn's front door.

She threw his dead weight off of her and called 911.

And then she called Ali.

The police found her sitting against the side of her car with her pepper spray in her hand ready to go. The wounded man was unconscious and his face was covered in blood. Ashlyn covered the worst wound with a torn off sleeve of her shirt. She didn't want to kill the man. She just wanted to keep her family safe.

Ali arrived to find Ashlyn sitting on the back bumper of an ambulance. Ashlyn had one hand behind her neck massaging her strained muscles. Ali ran to her.

"Oh my God, Ashlyn! What were you thinking?" Ali was struggling between worry and anger. In her mind Ashlyn had needlessly risked her life.

"I just..." Ashlyn was cut off by Ali's lips.

"Just shut up!" Ali held her with a death grip. Ashlyn had basically been in shock since she fell to the ground and Joe Sr's body fell on top of her. Having her wife so close brought her back to reality.

A police officer approached them and took Ashlyn's statement. Ali couldn't believe what her wife had done. Ashlyn had always told her that she had trained in martial arts for the purpose of self-defense when she was younger. But she had never seen her in action. Ashlyn said everything that happened just happened. It was more like a reflex than planned out and strategic moves.

After she gave her statement she asked if she could get checked out at the hospital. She didn't really need to go, she just wanted one more chance to encounter her attacker. Of course she didn't tell Ali that.

After the doctor checked her out and gave her a clean bill of health she told Ali she needed to use the bathroom. She argued with her for a few moments but convinced her to get the car and pick her up at the front door of the hospital. She used the excuse of not wanting to wait any longer than needed to be home with her family. Ali took the bait and left her alone.

Ashlyn asked the front desk for the room number she was looking for and quickly went on her way to find it. The man was sleeping and handcuffed to his bed. He had a bandage wrapped around his head and looked completely lost. It was as if his entire identity that he was trying to create had come crashing down.

Ashlyn approached his bed and flicked his forehead with her finger to wake him up. She had run out of mercy for the man long ago. The man woke up startled and scared. When he saw Ashlyn staring down at him from above he immediately tried to choke her but his hands moved only a few inches before meeting the full length the cuffs allowed.

Ashlyn bent down close to his ear and said, "You lied to me, Joe. You said you were a cop. You're just a weak pathetic man. I have news for you. Both my brother and father are detectives. If they even get a whiff of you trying to hurt me, my family, or Annie and Joey they will make sure you never see the light of day."

Ashlyn figured he lied to her, so it was only fair for her to return the favor. Ashlyn had him figured out from the beginning. She remembered thinking that he thought a lot more highly of himself than he should have when they first met.

"Do you understand?" Ashlyn stated firmly. She raised her head from his ear to make sure he could see that she wasn't messing around with him. She was serious about making sure his life ended in a cell.

The man was obviously filled with fear. He shook his head, even though it hurt like crazy to do, and said, "Yes, I understand. You'll never see me again."

Ashlyn knew that behind the big tough character Joe Sr. had created was actually a scared and weak human being. He preyed on the weak and assumed that Ashlyn was weak too.

He was dead wrong.

Chapter Text

Ali met Ashlyn at the entrance of the hospital. She could tell as soon as she saw her wife that she had been duped. Ashlyn didn't need to use the bathroom. She was up to something.

"Hey there." Ali eyed her wife suspiciously. "What did you do?"

"What are you talking about?" Ashlyn said. Unfortunately for her, Ali could read her like a book.

"I can tell you did something. What did you do?"

"Nothing!" Ashlyn tried to keep a straight face. She was a horrible liar when it came to Ali.

"Ashlyn Michelle, I'm not kidding! What did you do?" Ali was serious.

"Geeze, what is your problem?" Ash took a breath. Ali let her. She knew she was about to spill. "I may have visited Joe the jerk's room."

"You what?" Ali was already upset that Ashlyn put herself in a confrontational situation with him in the first place, and now she does it again.

"Relax. The dude is handcuffed to his bed."

"Ashlyn, I can't even look at you right now."

"Well, you're kinda looking now." Ash replied. She was totally looking.

"You know what I mean!" Ali drove to a nearby parking lot and turned off the engine.

"What are you doing?" Ash asked. The sooner they got home the better for Ashlyn. Ali wouldn't want to make a scene in front of their guests.

"I can't drive when I'm this upset with you. We need to have a talk."

"Oh. Why didn't you say so? I can drive if you want." Ashlyn really didn't want to talk about her risky behavior.

Ali's response to Ashlyn's flippant treatment of her desire to talk brought on a look of death so lethal that Ashlyn felt chills surge through her body.

"Or we can talk now." Ashlyn said carefully. She didn't want to wake the dragon within her wife.

"Let me get this straight, Ashlyn. You lied to me this morning..."

Ashlyn cut her off before she could go further. "Technically I didn't lie. I mean, I guess it depends on what your definition of an errand is." Ashlyn was really pushing it with her wife. She underestimated Ali's level of anger. She was about to find out.

"How dare you?!" Ali slapped Ashlyn. Ashlyn shrunk back towards the passenger door and didn't try to hide the hurt on her face. Ali didn't waste any words on an apology. It was time for Ashlyn to come back to earth. "You lied to me, Ashlyn. And then you lied to me a second time at the hospital. At least the first time you could have claimed ignorance, but the second time you knew exactly how I felt about you confronting him."

Ali could still see the red mark her hand left on Ashlyn's face. She saw a tear well up in one of Ashlyn's eyes.

She continued. "You took matters into your own hands. It's the police who have the right to confront criminals. You went looking for a fight. Do you have any idea how stupid that is?"

Ashlyn refused to speak or even look at her wife. Ali had it all wrong, in her opinion. And how could she preach to her about not fighting when she had just struck her in the face.

Ali watched Ashlyn's jaw tighten and release over and over. She knew she had angered her. But she kept going.

"What would have happened if he would've hurt you? Or worse? How would me and the kids survive that, Ashlyn? You don't think. You can't be some superhero and clean the streets fighting for justice. It's not safe and it's not smart. What about the fact that you went out on your own and kept this from me? Excuse me, but I thought we were partners. I thought we were a team. But I guess that only applies when it's convenient for you!"

The sting of Ali's hand had finally left Ashlyn's face. She was ready to defend herself.

"Back off, Alex! You assume I'm some destructive idiot. I had to do what I did. He's dangerous. But he's also weak. I couldn't give him any opportunity to hurt you or our kids. I knew that if I showed him that he was in for a fight, he wouldn't bother our family."

"Ashlyn, he doesn't even know who we are. Your excuse doesn't make sense."

"He does know who we are. You sent Annie a picture of me holding Joey and Sam. He saw it. He recognized me from the school. He went to the school today looking for me. He was waiting for me at my Jeep. You don't know what you're talking about." Ashlyn corrected her wife.

"Because you hide things from me!" Ali yelled in frustration. "That's not ok, Ashlyn. You do this all the time. YOU pick out the things that I'm allowed to know about. I thought we learned our lesson from your head injury. How many more hospital beds do you need to occupy before you realize that you're not invincible?"

Ali's words sunk in. Ashlyn was ready to throw in the towel. She took a deep breath and took her time to let it out. Ali could tell right away that the war was over. Their partnership was no longer in danger. "I can't believe you hit me." Ashlyn said as she put her hand up to the cheek her wife struck.

"I slapped you. And I can't believe I did it either." Ali said. Both women had a much calmer tone and quieter volume. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's ok." Ashlyn felt ashamed. Guilty. Stupid.

"Baby, I really am sorry. I'm so thankful you're ok. It just scares me to death when you do things like this." Ali began to caress Ashlyn's cheek. The same cheek she had slapped earlier.

"Can we please go home?" Ashlyn sounded like a defeated child asking her mother's permission.

"As soon as you forgive me." Ali still had her hand on Ashlyn's face.

"I forgive you...I'm sorry too."

"I know. I forgive you. And I love you. And now I'm going to kiss you." Ali said this and noticed her wife's lips turn up in a smile.

"Ok." Ashlyn was glad to oblige.

The ride home was quiet, but the women held hands and let forgiveness lead the way.

...

When they arrived home Annie was eager to get the scoop. Ali had texted her pieces of information but she needed to hear the whole story. Ken was called to pick up Jacob from school. He stayed to help with the kids when he dropped him off.

The children were playing soccer outside with Ali's dad, so the women had freedom to tell Annie the whole story.

"Ashlyn, I am so sorry that any of this happened. It's horrible!" Annie felt like she had brought her only two friends into her own nightmare.

"We're just glad everyone is safe now." Ali said. She led her wife by the hand to the living room couch. She felt extra protective of her all of a sudden.

Annie followed them and sat in Ashlyn's favorite recliner to give the women some space.

"Can I ask you a question?" Ali asked Annie.

"Anything." Annie answered.

"Why did you marry him? You're way to good for someone like that."

"He wasn't always like that. He was kind and sweet. He rescued me from a situation of near poverty. He never laid a finger on me. But he was always shy and really hard on himself. I could tell that he didn't think much of himself. His dad raised him but would hit him over every little thing. His mom abandoned him. He grew up without anyone to love him."

Annie looked really sad talking about the man she once loved. "It was gradual. It started with yelling. It seemed like I couldn't do anything right. And then he would slap me from time to time."

Ali closed her eyes and leaned into Ashlyn's shoulder. Now she really felt terrible.

Annie continued. "It progressed a little bit everyday. I watched the man I married disappear. I honestly don't know what made him snap. Someone probably said or did something that made him feel like it confirmed the way he already felt inside. He was broken and he never got what was broken fixed."

"It's like my Grandma always says, 'Hurt people hurt people.' It's those who are really in pain that try to bring others to feel the same hurt they're feeling. Or they go in the opposite direction and try to help others who are hurting."

"Your Grandma is a wise woman." Annie said. Annie knew that the root of Joe Sr.'s issues was that he was a broken man. She knew that in his life she never saw anyone, but her, care about him or encourage him. She knew that he could be anyone, absolutely anyone on the street who had suffered a great deal and had been left to try to figure out life on their own.

Joe Sr. was 100% responsible for his actions, but she knew it never needed to happen this way. If only someone would have loved him. If only someone would have cared. She could only imagine what could have been if he was shown even a small amount of kindness from someone who saw good in him.

What would he have been like if throughout his life someone said that he was capable of good and great things? But her husband was only told that he was worthless and a failure. What could've been would never be.

...

The women put their children to bed and discussed Annie and Joey's future plans.

Annie would stay in their apartment, since Joe was gone they would be safe. Because her husband was no longer a threat, Annie was able to see her family now and they offered to help her with most of her financial needs until she could get on her own two feet.

Joe Sr. would most certainly go to prison after his trial and since Ashlyn scared him to death about her fake family of detectives she knew he wouldn't mess with them anymore.

The three women decided that they were going to look into starting some kind of organization to help battered women and their children. The details had to be ironed out, but the dream was in place and they had plenty of passion to fuel it.

Ashlyn turned the light off on her nightstand and pulled her wife into her. She needed to rest in Ali's presence. The last few days had taken a lot of her peace away. Things in her past had been dug up, and even though Ashlyn had been able to push those things aside to deal with Joe Sr, she could no longer ignore them. She held onto Ali tightly and breathed in her scent.

She needed her mind to remember that everything was ok, and that she had overcome the things that swallowed Joe Sr. up.

She felt her wife shaking and noticed her shoulder was wet. Ali was crying.

"Babe, what is it? What's wrong?" Ash asked.

"I'm so sorry." Ali said between gasps. She cried harder the more she thought about what was troubling her.

"About what?"

"I hit you. Ashlyn, I hit you. I'm so ashamed."

Ashlyn didn't think much of it after they had apologized to one another. "Don't worry about it. I deserved it."

"You mean like Annie deserved it?" Ali started crying harder.

"You know what I mean. It's not the same thing."

"Ash...it IS the same thing. No one ever deserves to be hit by someone who loves them. Love doesn't hit."

"Ok. Clean slate, though. It's over." Ashlyn tightened her embrace and let Ali cry until she was finished. Once she settled down she added.

"I can think of a few ways you can make it up to me..."

Chapter Text

FLASHBACK

When Ali and Ashlyn had first gotten married they were still working to find their groove as a married couple. They were both still young and in need of growing up.

Ali felt that her commitment to Ashlyn shouldn't be questioned. She chose her for a reason and she never intended to be with another person.

Ashlyn still had her own issues to deal with. Issues like insecurity and a low opinion of herself. There was no one Ashlyn trusted more than Ali, but she felt like one day Ali would come to her senses and see Ashlyn for who she really was and would leave her.

Ashlyn lived with a sense of anxiety about the status of her relationship with Ali.

Ali knew about Ashlyn's difficulties. She knew what she was getting into, but she was still growing up herself. She often ran out of patience for her new wife. She felt suffocated at times by Ashlyn's constant need for reassurance of her love.

Ashlyn would pick up on Ali's annoyance and pull away, feeling like all of her fears were confirmed. Usually this would lead to a fight and then a day of not speaking to each other until one of them would apologize.

Over the coming years as they matured and grew to understand themselves and each other better, this process changed, and it became easier for them to swallow their pride and forgive. But it took time. And the time it took was hard.

...

One night after they had been married for a few months, Ali and Ashlyn decided to go to a local bar to unwind. Practice that week had been tough and they were both over stressed and frustrated. Their team was currently on a losing streak and issues with the team and coaching staff were explosive.

Ashlyn spoke up about the things going on with the team behind closed doors. She called people out. She was tired of pretending. Half the team stood behind her. The other half blamed her for making things worse. Ali stood somewhere in between.

The two were already feeling a little raw with each other. They both had secretly hoped that a night out would break the ice that had been chilling between them.

Ali was dressed to kill. Black dress, heels, hair down and wavy, red lipstick and an attitude to match. Ashlyn was a bit more casual. She wore dark baggy jeans, a denim shirt, and a bow tie. Ashlyn didn't know it, but Ali didn't just want to look her best. She wanted to make her wife crazy.

Ashlyn excused herself to use the bathroom. She left her wife sitting at the bar finishing her third drink. When Ash returned she found that a man had taken her seat and was feeling up her wife. At least that's what she thought she saw.

Seconds before Ashlyn saw what she thought was a man trying to steal her wife, Ali dropped her napkin. When she bent down to pick it up she lost her balance due to her heals and feeling a little tipsy. The man had leaned over Ashlyn's seat to order another drink for him and his girlfriend. When Ali fell he was quick to catch her. This meant that his arm was around her waist and Ali's hand was on his shoulder.

What Ashlyn saw was completely innocent, but without context it pierced a hole through her chest and broke her heart.

"What the hell are you doing? Get your hands off my wife!" Ashlyn pushed the man into the bar.

"Calm down." The man tried to stay calm. He knew that if he saw what she did he too would be suspicious.

"Ashlyn, stop." Ali grabbed her wife's arm and tried to pull her away.

Ashlyn was furious. She pushed him again into the bar counter causing several peoples' drinks to spill.

Ali felt embarrassed and angry.

"Ashlyn! He was just helping me up because I fell. Try acting like an adult for once in your life. Don't project your insecurities on everyone you meet." Ali berated her wife in front of the crowd around them who had given them their attention.

Ashlyn took a step back from the man she had pushed. She heard her wife loud and clear. She looked at the people gathered around them and then at Ali. She felt humiliated. She dug into her pocket and slammed the keys on the counter in front of Ali.

"Fuck you, Alex!" Ashlyn spat out through gritted teeth and tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She angrily walked out of the bar. She didn't know where she was headed but it didn't matter. The only place she needed to go was away from Ali.

Ali looked at the keys on the counter. She was stunned. It didn't register that her wife had just left her. She put her hand on top of the keys and looked up at the man that Ashlyn had suspected of hitting on her.

"I'm so sorry about that." She apologized. "It's been a rough week for her....for both of us, actually."

"It's fine. I need to get back to my girlfriend. Good luck with...that." He nodded towards the door. His acknowledgement of the front door is what pulled Ali back to earth. Her wife just left her there.

Ali hurried to pay their tab and ran after her. She ended up having to take her shoes off because the heels slowed her down. She couldn't find her. It's as if her wife just disappeared.

Ali walked back to their car thinking that maybe she would be able to find her by driving up and down the nearby streets. The parking lot was dark and she noticed someone leaning up against the car parked next to theirs.

Suddenly she felt scared for her safety. She wished Ashlyn was there. She always felt safe with Ashlyn. Ali walked up to her car slowly and carefully. She spread her keys out in between her fingers in case she needed to use her fist to defend herself. She took a deep breath as she approached the car from behind. She snuck a peek to the driver's side and let her breath out and relaxed.

Her wife was sitting against the car next to theirs with her legs stretched out and resting on the front tire of their own car.

"What are you doing here? You scared me to death!" Ali scolded her wife.

"I'm the designated driver. I couldn't leave you here." Ashlyn was angry. But she could never be angry enough to put her wife in a dangerous situation.

"Thanks." Ali whispered.

"Are you ready? Get in." Ashlyn was short with Ali. She didn't want to talk. She just wanted to make sure she got home safely.

When the two returned to their two-bedroom apartment Ashlyn walked Ali up the steps and to there door. She unlocked the door for her wife and said, "I'm going for a walk."

"What?" Ali thought they were home for the night and she wanted to talk about what happened.

"I'm leaving."

"Ashlyn, we need to talk about this."

"I'm not going to waste my time talking about this while you're drunk." Ashlyn was angry. Ali had made her feel like everything she had told her up until then was a lie. Ali couldn't hide it any longer. Her disgust and disappointment finally made itself known.

"I'm not drunk." Ali wasn't wasted. She probably could've handled a serious conversation but the truth was that her wife couldn't. Ashlyn was too hurt and had too much hatred for herself to think rationally.

"I would rather you would say you're drunk." Ashlyn slammed the door and left for the night.

Ali didn't understand what Ashlyn meant. Why would she prefer that she was drunk?

Ali slept alone in their bed that night. Ashlyn slept alone in their car. She fell asleep to the tune of a her own self-loathing.

Ali woke up reaching for Ashlyn. When her hand grazed across the cold empty space beside her everything about the night before came rushing back. Ali had a slight headache but it didn't hinder her memory one bit.

She searched the small apartment frantically. She remembered what she had said to her wife and felt horrible. They were both raw with emotion before the night even began and a mixture if alcohol and jealousy ended up being more than they could handle.

Ali looked from the top of the stairwell outside and saw that their car was still parked in the same spot it was last night. She jogged to it and saw her wife sleeping in the back seat.

"Ashlyn, why are you so stubborn?" Ali whispered to herself. She tried to open the door but it was locked. She first got annoyed by the fact that locked doors meant it would be harder for her to get to her wife, but then she realized it was much safer for Ashlyn during the night that way.

She knocked loudly on the window of the back drivers side door. "Ashlyn, open up!" She yelled. Normally she would try to keep their business private but she needed to get to her wife.

Ashlyn barely moved. This was something Ali struggled with on a daily basis. Her wife can sleep through anything.

After a frustrated few minutes, it occurred to Ali that they have two sets of car keys. She sprinted up to their apartment and returned with what she needed.

She carefully opened the door and lifted her wife's head just enough to slide underneath it. She sat there for the full 15 minutes it took for Ashlyn to wake up to the strokes of Ali's fingers on her arms and back.

When Ash realized that Ali was there with her she turned her head so that her face was against Ali's stomach. She felt so alone. Her anger had been replaced with a broken loneliness that she thought had gone away.

Ali knew that they still had a lot to talk about, but that neither of them needed to say anything at this moment. They simply needed each other's presence.

Ali finally broke the silence and suggested that they go inside. She could only imagine how uncomfortable last night was for Ashlyn. She still had time to get a couple hours of sleep in their bed.

Ali stayed by Ashlyn's side while she slept. Even though she was asleep, Ali just didn't feel right about leaving her. She massaged her neck, held her hand, kissed and stroked her head. She needed Ashlyn to know she was there and that she loved her just the way she was.

When Ashlyn woke up she still didn't feel like talking, but she knew it was what Ali needed. She hoped one day it would be easier for her to open up. But she had decided that until that day came she would push through and try to let Ali in.

"Ash, I just want to say that I'm sorry for what I said. I was angry. I've been angry about a lot of things and it all came pouring out at you. At the time I said what I knew would hurt you. I'm so ashamed." Ali felt sick in the pit of her stomach. Her goal in life was to only do right by Ashlyn. She wanted to show her how amazing she was. Last night she only made things worse for her.

Ashlyn nodded. She bounced her leg up and down, trying to let some of her anxiety out. She wanted to put together words. But she couldn't quite get them out.

Ali watched her chew on her lip and tear away pieces of her thumbnail. She saw her straighten up and take a breath, as if she was about to speak and then she'd bow her head in defeat.

Ali could see that she was frustrated with herself. "Ash, if I could do the talking for you, I would. Just relax. You can talk to me. You know that. You can trust me."

Ashlyn leaned back and stretched out her sore back. She stretched out her neck and then leaned forward towards her wife. Ali knew they were getting somewhere, so she continued to be patient.

Ashlyn cleared her throat. "I guess I thought you had gotten tired of me. Maybe you figured out you could do better."

"Why would you even say that?"

Ash shrugged her shoulders. "Because that's how I feel everyday."

"What do you mean that's how you feel everyday?" Ali leaned in towards her wife.

"I mean...Why are you even with me? Look at all this shit that I put you through." Ashlyn really hated having this conversation. All her insecurities were being dug up and laid out for Ali to see.

"Ashlyn, I have no idea what you are talking about. You're my life. Why can't you see that?"

"All I see is someone who doesn't deserve my mess." Ashlyn said. "I can see that I annoy you."

Ali was taken aback by this confession. Was she acting annoyed by her? Was Ali's behavior contributing to Ashlyn's low estimation of herself?

"Ash, I'm so sorry! I've just been emotionally drained. I never want you to feel like that!" Ali moved to sit next to Ashlyn and put an arm around her. Ash was still leaning forward so Ali was able to lean part of her front against Ashlyn's back. She put her head on Ashlyn's shoulder from behind.

At Ali's touch any walls that were left came falling down. Ali heard her wife sniffling. She was crying.

"Ashlyn, I love you more than anything in this world. I need you to trust me. I need you to know that I'm not going anywhere. I don't want anything else but the future that I have with you."

"I know..." Ashlyn had more to add but held back.

"I need you to talk to me." Ali moved from the couch and got on her knees in front of Ashlyn. She took both of her wife's hands in her own and forced her to look at her. "Ashlyn, stop hiding from me."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

"Tell me the truth. Tell me what's on your heart. How have I hurt you? What are you afraid of? What do you want for lunch?" Ali let out a small laugh. "Tell me anything."

"Can I tell you that I'm trying?"

"Yeah. That works, too."

Ash and Ali talked for most of the day. Actually Ashlyn talked most of the day. Ali listened. She let her wife take her time. When Ashlyn started to ramble or randomly changed subjects she just let her go. She knew that they had taken an important step forward in their marriage.

Neither of them had all of the answers but they both found more than they started with.

Ashlyn found out that Ali cared very deeply about her innermost feelings and would wait with patience and forgiveness to hear them. Ali learned that Ashlyn was just learning what being loved really meant. She was learning that in love there is safety and acceptance. She was learning that she could find both of those things in Ali.

Ali also learned that Ashlyn wanted pizza for lunch.

Chapter Text

"Mama!" Sam was running from Ali without any clothes on. Ashlyn was in the backyard, which Ali was very thankful was fenced in and blocked off from any neighbors. She didn't approve of her son going commando in public.

"Ashlyn, catch him!" Ali yelled for her wife to help.

Ashlyn watched her naked son run right to her. She scooped him up and blew raspberries on his bare belly.

"Mama!" The boy laughed. Ali was trying to get him dressed after his bath but he was inspired and made up a brand new dance. "Mama, I show you my nakey dance."

"Your nakey dance?" Ash cracked up. Her wife wasn't as amused as she was. "Is that like a naked dance? Is that what you're saying, Bam?"

"Yeah, my nakey dance!"

"Ok, let's see it." Ashlyn did not have her wife's approval but it was too good to miss. Ash put the boy down.

"Drop da beat!" He pointed at Ashlyn. She had never heard him say that before. Maybe he was learning more at school than they thought.

Ashlyn started a make shift beat for the boy and he started his dance.

The 'nakey dance' consisted of a front shake, a back shake and then a full body twist. Ashlyn loved it. Ali did not approve of the 'front shake,' especially without any clothing covering the part that was shaking.

"You like my dance, Mama?"

"I love it!" Ash said. She caught a glimpse of her wife's disapproval and added a disclaimer. "But I think that's a good dance to save for bath time. Keep it in the bathroom, Bam."

"Ok, Mama!" Sam gladly agreed.

"He listens to you." Ali just walked away. Poor thing had tried for 20 minutes to get the boy to put on some clothes but he was too excited about his dance. He refused to stand still until he could show Ashlyn, his usual dance partner, his new moves. When Ali went to put the towel down he made a break for it and ran downstairs yelling for Ashlyn.

Ashlyn carried Samuel inside. She threw his naked little body over her shoulder and followed her wife inside.

"Babe, what do you need me to do?" Ash asked.

"Can you please just get him dressed?" Ali sounded frustrated.

"We can handle that." Ash used her free arm to spin her wife around and give her a kiss. Ali's attitude seemed to perk up right away.

"I kiss Mommy too, Mama?" Sam was eager to copy Ashlyn in any way he could.

"You better!" Ash encouraged and then maneuvered his head so that he could give his Mommy a sloppy wet kiss. Ali couldn't be too frustrated with her little boy, he had the best slobbery kisses around.

"Thank you, sweetheart. Now be a good boy and let Mama get you ready for Grandpa." Ali said.

"Ok, Mommy!"

Ashlyn and Ali needed the kids cleaned up and ready to go to spend a couple of days with Ali's dad. They were leaving with the team for Kansas City that afternoon for the final. The rest of the family would join them the day before, and then they were heading out for Labor Day weekend to see Uncle Kyle.

Ali was on organization overdrive. She had half a dozen lists and different bags for different trips. She had invited both her mom and dad to join them for their trip to California since it was the first time Kyle was officially meeting Jacob. They had met over Skype many times but it's not the same thing.

She needed to make sure her dad knew exactly what to bring with the kids so that they could leave from Kansas City and then to LA without a hitch. Her youngest child's shenanigans were close to pushing her over the edge.

"Babe, we got this. Try to relax. We're gonna have a great time. Even if we forget something...as long as it's not one of our children, it should be fine." Ashlyn laughed. Ali did not.

"You laugh, but it's totally possible. We're gonna be in another state. I just want everything to be as easy as possible for my dad." Ali answered.

"Your dad knows the drill. He's a pro with our kids and all our crazy plans. It will be fine." Ashlyn gave her a peck on the cheek and then lowered Sam so he could do the same. She knew he'd want to, so she saved him the trouble of having to ask.

"Whatever you say, dear. Just go get this one presentable."

"Yes ma'am!" Ash hurried off with their naked boy.

Ali heard a muffled "Yes ma'am" from her son's lips as he giggled to his room on his Mama's shoulder.

When Ken arrived Ash and Ali gave their children hugs and kisses. Ali went over her instructions with her dad in detail and gave him an itinerary and plan of action. He assured her he was up to the task and that she didn't need to worry.

The two women left to meet their team. Ali couldn't help but worry that she forgot something.

...

The trip to the final was much easier than the one to the semi-final. There were no sick children or parents. It was a shorter flight, and everyone was revved up for the weekend ahead. They were ready to show the world just how far they had come from the epic disaster that was their previous season.

Throughout the trip and the daily practices Ali couldn't shake the worry in the back of her mind that something bad was coming.

"Al, relax. The last time we were here was horrible. That's why you're thinking something bad is gonna happen. But it already happened. It's over. Everything is fine." Ashlyn tried to talk some sense into her wife.

The horribleness Ashlyn was referring to was the collision her and her wife got into that sent Ashlyn to the hospital with a brain injury. The road back was a lot longer than the quick plane ride to Kansas. The Krieger-Harris family had been through hell and back.

"Ash, I know you're probably right but I just have a bad feeling." Ali held on tighter to her wife's hand.

"Well, cut it out! I don't want the kids to start worrying because of your craziness."

"I know. I know."

The women had just left the last practice before their game the next day and were on their way to meet the rest of the family who had recently arrived. Ali's dad had texted them the hotel room number and they were excited to be reunited with all of their loves.

When they arrived to the room, Ali's Dad filled her in on the most recent family news.

"Ali, your Mom called me. She's on her way to the hotel now. I told her we'd wait until she got here before going to dinner." Ken said.

Ali's parents, though divorced, still got along great. It wasn't always like that, but when you have kids and now grandkids you either make it work or you miss out on some of life's greatest moments.

"Sounds great. Thank you, Daddy." Ali was in need of a 'dad hug' right about now. And he was the best at giving those.

...

The whole family had a nice dinner together. Ali and Ash loved having Grandma and Grandpa around because they usually took care of the two youngest kids at the table and let them relax.

"Mama?" Jake was sitting next to Ashlyn and had a question for her.

"Yeah?" She answered. She could tell he didn't want the others to hear.

"Do you think I could stay with you and Mom tonight?"

"Why?"

"I won't be able to sleep if I have to share a bed with Sam."

Ashlyn laughed. They had two beds in their room so it really wouldn't be a big deal. "I think that should be fine. You should ask your Mom how she deals with sleeping next to me. I move around a lot too."

"He kicks constantly. He has karate fights in his sleep and thinks my stomach is the bad guy." Jake didn't think he would ever get used to his little brother's activity at night. "Plus he's short and his feet are right around my 'you know what.'"

Ashlyn couldn't contain her laughter. Her kids were awesome. Even the oldest could rival anyone with his cuteness. "Well, you'll be safe tonight." Ash reassured him.

"Dad, how were the kids for you on the flight?" Ali was worried all day about them.

"They were great. We sat exactly how you wanted us too." Ken answered.

"Wait, wait, wait." Ashlyn had to get something cleared up. "Did you give then seating assignments?"

"Yes. I wanted Dad to sit with Sam and Jacob to sit with Lexi. They had to be in two different rows so I put Dad and Sam behind Jacob and Lex so Dad could keep an eye on them."

"You're a little OCD, babe." Ashlyn couldn't believe it.

"She also said that Grandpa and I had to sit in the middle seat and let them have the window seats." Jake was enjoying making fun of his controlling mother's ways.

"Ok first off, enough of you telling on me and second, the reason for that was because I wanted them safe. Who knows what kind of creepy stranger might sit next to you?" Ali defended.

"It's ok for ME to sit next to creepy strangers?" Jacob had learned to give his Mom a hard time from his Mama.

Ashlyn gave Jake a slap on the back and let out a hearty chuckle.

"Sweetheart, best case scenario is that no one has to sit by a creepy stranger. But your sweet little sister needs to be safe and you're big and strong." Ali tried to sweet talk him and if he was honest he would say it totally worked.

"I sat with Jakes too!" Sam chimed in.

"I told you to keep that between us." Ali's Dad answered his littlest grandson.

"Oops." Sam was sincerely sorry.

"I sat with Grandpa sometimes." Now Lexi was taking part in confession time.

"Did anyone follow my seating plan?" Ali was way too concerned about a tiny detail.

"Princess, they switched a couple of times but they both sat in the window seat and everyone behaved. No problem." Ken couldn't believe it was an issue. Actually, he could believe it, because he knew his daughter well.

"Dad, I just..." Ali was quickly interrupted by her wife.

"Alex, let it go! Who cares? Everybody's fine." Ashlyn gave Ali a look that expressed her frustration and Ali knew she better move on. They had a big game and then lots of travel ahead. She needed to be flexible and easy going.

Unfortunately, she was on edge anticipating an unknown uncontrollable incident in the near future.

...

The next morning came fast. Ashlyn and Ali invited Jacob to have a room service breakfast with them. They felt he needed some attention. They knew the younger ones took up a lot of their attention and he sometimes is left to fend for himself.

"Sweetheart, how's school going?" Ali and Jake were eating at a little table in the room. Ash was spread out on her and Ali's bed lying on her stomach, with her head right next to her food. While Ali talked to Jake she was carefully scooping eggs into her mouth.

Ali and their son saw Ashlyn's lazy breakfast manners and shook their heads. Ali thought her wife was absolutely crazy.

"Anyways..." Ali brought the attention back to Jacob.

"Um, it's going ok. I still hate math. But I think my grades are good." Jacob answered.

"How are things with your brother and sister?" Ali asked.

Jacob shrugged. He was honestly very happy and content with his place in life. He loved his family.

"Good, I guess."

"You don't mind helping out as much as you do? Your brother is especially rambunctious. You don't mind?" Ali said.

"I didn't really have anyone growing up. I like having them around." The adults in the room got really serious. They loved that he was always willing to help. But they hated that his good attitude was a result of a tough life.

"Well, ya got us now kid. Ain't never getting rid of us, either." Ash spoke with a mouthful of eggs.

Ali's crazy wife was right on the money. That boy would never be alone again.

Ali and Jake continued to have a civilized breakfast and good conversation while Ashlyn added a few comments from time to time. It was nice for all three of them to be able to relax and not worry about the little ones.

Meanwhile, Ali's parents were tag teaming breakfast with Lex and Sam. Lexi was always a breeze to handle once she got dressed. Sam, on the other hand, was always an unknown adventure. He required a lot of extra attention and patience, but it certainly kept life interesting.

...

The game was completely different than their last matchup. The game remained tied for the majority of regulation time. Ashlyn had some monster saves and was feeling in sync with the entire defensive line.

After 86 minutes and no scores, the back line was instructed to push the ball forward as much as possible. No one would have ever predicted it, but Ali ended up with the ball at the top of the box. She let loose a cracker of a shot and hit the back of the net. The place erupted!

Ali ran to the bench to share in the celebration and made sure to form a heart with her hands for her kids.

Sam was going crazy! He was being held in Ken's arms and after everyone else had settled down, he grabbed his Grandpa's head and tried to shake it back and forth, while he screamed with excitement. His wiggles were trying desperately to escape his small body.

Ali's mom put a hand on his arm and told him to save it for after the game when he would be able to run around the field like his Mommy.

There was very little stoppage time, but it was still long enough for Lauren Holiday to get a shot off that almost gave the entire Spirit team a heart attack. The ball was tipped over the goal by Ashlyn's fingertips.

Lauren was able to get a quick corner kick off but it went straight to Ashlyn. The keeper took her time clearing the ball and the game was whistled over as it bounced to the feet of Christine Nairn.

The Spirit had won the NWSL championship!

..

After the game the family gathered together on the field. Sam and Ashlyn played Superman by one of the goals.

Ali's mom put an arm around her daughter and said, "You guys really made me nervous! I thought I was gonna have an anxiety attack watching you!"

At that moment Ali figured out what she had forgotten. She prayed to God everything would be ok.

Chapter Text

The Krieger-Harris clan had dinner with the team and then departed to have a family friendly championship celebration in their hotel room.

That night the family of five stayed in Ashlyn and Ali's room. Jake and Lex shared a bed and a very wiggly Sam slept in between Ali and Ashlyn.

...

The next morning the family headed out with Ali's Mom and Dad to visit Kyle. With the ratio of adults to children, the kids had no chance to get into too much mischief on the trip. Ali didn't have to worry about seating arrangements this time.

She had other things to worry about.

...

When they arrived at Kyle's place Ali waited until she could get a few minutes alone to try and fix her mistake. She searched for a nearby pharmacy and called Ashlyn's doctor.

Ali had forgotten to bring Ashlyn's inhaler, allergy and anxiety medication. She always packed all the family meds in one carry-on but since the kids traveled on a different day, she separated their meds with Ashlyn's and ended up not packing her wife's emergency medication.

She was mostly concerned about her inhaler and anxiety meds. The doctor's office informed her that they could call in refills for everything but the anxiety medication.

She knew she was in a no win situation. Without the meds if something came up her wife was going to have a hard time, but if she told her she was without them it might cause her more anxiety than necessary.

She decided to keep the information to herself.

...

Kyle took the family out to lunch and then to do some sight seeing. This was Jake's first time on any kind of vacation and Kyle and his parents wanted to make sure they made the most of their time and make sure it was memorable for him.

After visiting the Hollywood Walk of Fame and checking out fossils at the Tar Pits, Kyle took the family to hike near the Hollywood sign. Ali wanted to get family pictures with their favorite photographer during the hike too.

The family hiked their way right through Sam's nap time. He had a lot of extra energy due to Kyle's dog getting him excited but after a while of hiking and playing with Luna, Sam was exhausted. He tried riding the big dog, but got scolded pretty quickly by Ali and his Grandma. He put his head down and went straight to Ashlyn.

"Mama, I'm tired." He held his hands up to her. Ashlyn picked him up and held him close. The boy was ready to pass out on her shoulder.

"Ashlyn, you should let Kyle or my Dad carry him. He's too heavy for such a long hike." Ali was worried about Ashlyn's physical energy. She didn't want it to lead to anything worse.

"You worry too much!" Ashlyn replied. "It's fine. I always carry him. What's the big deal?"

"I don't want you to hurt your back." Ali lied.

"The season's over. Who cares?" Ashlyn dismissed her and ended the conversation.

Ali's mom pulled her aside and made sure the rest of the group was far enough ahead of them not to hear her ask. "Sweetheart, what was all that about?"

Ali was ready to lie and smooth things over but her conscience couldn't handle to carry the weight of the guilt and worry she felt. She confessed.

"Mom, I forgot Ashlyn's anxiety medication. I've been worried sick ever since last night when I realized it. I called the pharmacy but the doctor won't call it in because it's a commonly abused drug and it's not due for a refill."

"How often does she use it?" Deb asked.

"Not too often. But enough for me to worry that she might need it. I always have it. I can't believe I forgot it. I separated it from Lexi and Jacob's medicine and left it on the counter. I can't believe it." Ali felt sick. She thought talking about it would make her feel better but it only made her feel worse.

"Did you tell Ashlyn, honey?"

"No. I don't know if it will stress her out more. But if I don't tell her she might put herself in a stressful situation without thinking. I just don't know what to do." Ali was having her own anxiety attack.

"I think you should tell her. She's a responsible adult and will make wise decisions if she has the information needed to do so." Ali's Mom offered a voice of reason.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Ali gave her Mom a side hug squeeze and hurried to catch up with her wife. "Ash I need to talk to you real quick."

"What's up?" Ash asked.

Ali played with the wet hair of her sleeping son, allowing herself to get distracted for a moment. "He's getting your shoulder all sweaty." Ali informed her wife.

"Is that what you have to tell me?" Ash asked. She thought her wife was acting a little weird.

"Uh, no." Ali cleared her throat to allow for a little more time before coming out with it. "I forgot your anxiety medicine. I wasn't gonna tell you because I didn't want you to stress out. But I guess it's better for you to know so you don't put yourself in a stressful situation."

"Is that all?" Ashlyn stopped walking so she could look at her wife face to face. "You worry too much! Who cares? It's fine. I'm fine. Sam's fine. It's all good. I can't even think of the last time I had to take one of those pills."

"I remember." Ali mumbled.

"What was that?"

"I remember. You could barely breathe and it scared me to death." Ali didn't want to relive anything that involved her favorite person struggling for breath.

"It's ok, Alex. I appreciate your concern, but there's nothing for you to worry about."

Ali hoped her wife was right.

...

Kyle had a BBQ for the family that night. Sam took up his usual spot but this time it was next to his uncle. He had on an oversized apron and stood on a stool next to Kyle and helped him flip the burgers, hotdogs, and chicken.

"Uncle, can I flip?" Sam pulled on Kyle's shirt sleeve.

"You got it, buddy." He pointed to a hot dog for Sam to adjust on the grill.

Lex walked up behind the two and put her hand on the bottom of Kyle's back. "Uncle, I love you."

Lexi and Kyle had a very close bond. He spoiled her and made sure to take her on dates whenever they visited. He told her she was his favorite girl. Ali always teased him when he would say this around her.

"Lex, I love you too. Tomorrow I'm taking out my favorite girl for lunch." Kyle leaned down and gave her a hug and kiss on the top of her head. He really loved her.

"Uncle Kyle?" Jacob interrupted Kyle and Lexi's sweet moment. "Mom and Grandma told me to tell you that everything's ready."

"We are probably gonna need 5 more minutes on the chicken but everything else is ready." Kyle informed his new nephew.

"Ok." Jake quickly informed the women of Kyle's answer.

The family ended up having a great dinner and an even better time. Sam and Lexi fell asleep soon after the late dinner. They were still on eastern time and the day's activities wore them out.

Sam fell asleep in Ashlyn's arms, as usual, and Lexi rested in her Grandfather's strong arms. Ali looked around her and thanked God for the blessings she had been given. They were all sitting in the same room and enjoying one another's company. This was a rare occurrence for her.

...

The next morning was set aside for some special bonding time between Kyle, Ashlyn, and Jacob.

Ashlyn was going to teach her son to surf.

She had been looking forward to this for a long time. She'd tried a few times with her younger children but they were too small and unable to focus for a long enough period of time to get anywhere close to proper surfing form.

Ashlyn woke up before Ali, for a change. She gave her wife one last squeeze and kissed her cheek. She got out of bed with an extra bounce in her step. She was excited for the day ahead.

Ali's Mom was awake with Sam. She and him were coloring pictures for the family. Ashlyn gave Sam a kiss and bragged about his amazing coloring skills. He couldn't stay in the lines to save his life and the trees were purple but she thought it was the greatest thing she'd ever seen.

Kyle was the next one to wake up. He shuffled to the kitchen and got the coffee going. Ashlyn saw that her brother-in-law was awake so she decided it was time to wake up her oldest child.

Unsurprisingly, Jacob was already awake. He always had a healthy dose of nerves when trying new things. This caused him to lose sleep and over analyze every detail of the activity.

"Good morning, son. I wasn't expecting you up so early." Ashlyn laid down next to the sleeping bag he was still curled up in.

"I couldn't sleep any longer."

"You too excited about hitting the waves?" Ashlyn was dripping with joy. She loved having the opportunity to share something like this with her son.

"I don't know if 'excited' is the right word." The boy was nervous. He knew how to swim but he wasn't that great. He had never seen the ocean before and imagined it being able to gulp him up.

"You've got nothing to worry about. Your uncle and I will be there every moment. We're gonna have the best day!" Ashlyn patted Jake's sleeping bag covered leg and motioned for him to get up. It was time to start the day.

Kyle made a quick breakfast for his surfing partners and the three of them were off. They loaded up his Jeep with surf boards and other essential gear. The rest of the family would join them in a couple of hours and would bring all of the stuff needed for a family day at the beach.

The first time Jake stepped into the water, Ashlyn almost cried. She watched the boy's face as he marveled at the greatness of the water rushing at his feet. He took in the horizon and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. His ears filled with the sound of seagulls and flowing water. He knelt down and let the water run through his fingers. He was ready.

Ashlyn and Kyle taught him the basics. They gave him little tips on how to stay balanced and how to control the direction of the surfboard on a big wave.

He was intense in his focus and wanted more than anything to stand up on the board and make his mom and uncle proud.

After two hours of trying, the best he could do was stand for a few seconds before getting sent back to the water. But he was getting close.

Kyle decided now was the time to swim to shore and set up his camera. He wanted to try and get Jacob's first successful surf on video and then after that he would take still pictures of his nephew and sister-in-law.

Ashlyn and Jake were lying flat on their boards waiting for the next wave. Ash gave him one last pep talk and as the wave came they both stood up. Ashlyn went quite a bit farther than her son, but he did get up and stayed up for a lot longer than ever before.

When the wave finally got the best of him his board, that was attached to his ankle by a cord, got pulled into a rip current. The tide pulled him out with it into the opposite direction of the shore.

These types of currents are dangerous if you don't know what to do to get out of them. Ashlyn saw her son being pulled away from her. She yelled for him to stay calm and to swim parallel to the shore and not directly towards it.

Jake panicked. He had never been in this type of situation and the force of the wave and the vast expanse of the ocean was too much for him to try and stay calm. He struggled to swim toward shore but it only pulled him further and further away from his mother.

He screamed for help causing his mouth and lungs to fill with water. The strong current, mixed with his struggle to swim against it, and his inability to breathe caused the boy to sink.

Jacob was drowning.

...

The rest of the family had arrived at the beach and were searching for the spot Kyle had told them about. Grandpa carried the big cooler filled with food and drinks. Grandma carried Sam and held Lexi's hand. Ali carried everything else.

She was trying to keep hold of beach chairs, blankets and a bag filled with sunscreen, sand toys, books and other miscellaneous things.

She searched the shore for her wife and son but couldn't find them. She did notice her brother, however. He was running up the shore, waving his arms, and screaming for someone's attention.

She watched the life guard meet him on the sand and it hit her. Something was very wrong. She dropped everything she was carrying and sprinted towards her brother.

...

Ashlyn swam out to her son. She couldn't see him because he was under the water, but she could see his board. She prayed she could get there in time.

When she finally got to him she dove under the water, unattached his board, and pulled him up to the surface. She couldn't tell if he was breathing. She yelled for him to hold on and to stay with her. But there was no response.

Ashlyn laid him so that his body was floating on top of the water. She put her left arm around his chest and gripped the boy under his arm pit. She swam as hard as she could with one arm out of the current and then towards the shore.

The lifeguard met them halfway to the shore. He took Jacob from Ashlyn's tight grip and Kyle helped Ashlyn the rest of the way. Ali and the rest of the family waited for them at the shore.

Jacob wasn't breathing. The lifeguard quickly performed CPR and lifted his head up as he coughed up all the water that had found it's way into his lungs. Jacob was going to be ok.

Ali embraced her son, knowing that he was lucky to be alive. She held him close and kissed his cheek about a hundred times. Ali's Mom tapped her on the shoulder and told her to go to her wife. The concerned Grandmother kept all three children close to her as Ali watched her wife struggle for breath.

Ashlyn was having a panic attack.

The lifeguard was met by a team of people who were assisting in getting Ash into a healthier condition. They held up an oxygen mask to her face but it only made matters worse. She was inhaling breaths so deeply and quickly that the extra oxygen was causing her to be lightheaded and she nearly passed out.

Ali poked her way through the people who were trying to help, and told them to stop. She ordered them to give Ashlyn some room. She knelt down next to Ashlyn and pulled her head onto her shoulder.

"Sweetheart, you have to calm down." Ali whispered.

Ashlyn was gasping for air.

"Jacob's ok. You're ok. Everybody is ok."

Ali's Dad knelt down on the other side of Ashlyn and put his arm around her. He wanted her to feel safe.

"Shhh. It's ok. Jacob's ok. You're ok. Everybody's ok." Ali repeated.

Ashlyn focused on her breathing.

Slow breath in. Slow breath out.

Everything's ok.

Jacob's ok.

Slow breath in.

Jacob's ok.

Slow breath out.

It's gonna be ok.

When Ashlyn finally caught her breath she hid her face in Ali's chest and cried.

Ken gave his ex-wife and Kyle a look letting them know she was better. He left the two women alone to recover.

Ali's Dad took Lexi in his arms and had the family set up their gear further up the beach. He made sure they were close enough for him to keep an eye on his girls, but far enough away that the couple could have some privacy.

...

Ashlyn and Jacob took it easy for the rest of the beach trip. The experience scared them both. Ali stayed close to them the whole day.

Kyle kept his promise and took his favorite girl out to lunch. Sam went for a walk and ice cream with his grandparents. Ali's parents wanted to relieve as much chaos from the atmosphere around Ash and Jake as possible. That meant taking Sam-Bam out of the house.

The rest of the trip was fun and a lot less stressful. The next day Jacob even managed to talk his Mama into taking him surfing again. She was nervous for her son, and a little bit traumatized from the whole experience, but she knew it wasn't something that was likely to ever happen again. She was thankful her son was willing to give the ocean another chance.

Ashlyn and Jacob snuck out early the next morning and had a relaxing time at the beach before anyone else woke up. As they made their way back, Ashlyn put an arm around her son's shoulders and walked with him into the house.

She had finally been able to have the surfing experience with one of her children that she had always wanted.

This turned out to be a vacation she wouldn't ever forget.

Chapter Text

It was bedtime in the Krieger-Harris household. Ali had finished tucking in Lexi before Ashlyn finished with Samuel. Sam had her give kisses to his pup and made her say goodnight to every single one of the Avengers.

Once she got the boy to settle down she read him a short story, adding in a few details of her own. She watched as he quickly nodded off to sleep. She didn't even have to finish the book.

She greeted her wife in their room where Ali was already in bed. She had her nightstand light on and was reading a book of her own. Ashlyn didn't mind interrupting her.

"Do you know what Bam just said to me?" Ashlyn climbed on top of her wife holding her weight up on her elbows. She was hovering a few inches over Ali.

"Judging by that stupid smile on your face, I'm a little worried." Ali lifted her head a little and placed a soft kiss on her wife's bottom lip.

"I'm ignoring you making fun of my face." She shifted her weight onto her left arm and used her right hand to tickle torture her wife.

"Stop!" Ali was squirming underneath her wife, trying to get out of her reach. Ashlyn used this opportunity to lay all of her weight on top of her. Ali wasn't going anywhere.

"Alex, don't you want to know what our baby said to me?" Ashlyn was laughing at her wife's current predicament.

"I can't breathe. Get off!" Ali really was breathless. Ashlyn rolled off of her betrothed and watched her regain her composure.

Ali shook her head. She had to make a decision. She could either attempt to get her wife back or she could let it go and give her wife the attention she wanted.

"What did Samuel say to you?" Ali didn't have the energy to go back and forth with Ashlyn. She usually didn't play fair anyway.

"Oh yeah, I totally forgot we were talking about that."