Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Swims-With-Snakes thought back on how he had met Razum-Dar, having been sent to inform queen Ayrenn of the actions of a thalmor wizard who had enslaved a group of argonians, even going so far as to eat their eggs. They had thought she knew until he had escaped, finding letters that mentioned hiding from the Aldmeri Dominion. He’d then rushed to get this information to Ayrenn, and became the vestige in the process. He had earned her trust, and been gifted with citizenship of the dominion and a place as a Queen’s Eye. The wizard was captured, put to trial, and the argonians freed. There had been funerals, mourning, healing, and they were granted a plot of land to start a town of their own to begin reparations.

Slowly, Swims worked hard to stop Molag Bal and ensure Ayrenn’s safety, and earn Razum-Dar’s trust, but he knew if they found out who his father was, it would all go up in flames. He’d be left in the ashes, watching the smoke on the wind. His attention turned back to the present day, eyes on the letter that had started his thoughts.

A plain piece of paper, sealed with a glob of purple wax bearing the symbol of Sheogorath. The Daedric Prince of Madness. It almost seemed fitting, if he was honest with himself. The Vestige destined to defeat Molag Bal and save Nirn, born of a rival prince with a mortal argonian woman. He slowly pried it open, and let his eyes slide over the curling script.

"Hello my little Cheese Wedge!
I’m writing to let you know that I’m going to be visiting Nirn soon, and I might drop in on you. I don’t know yet. Anyway, you’re probably wondering why I sent a letter instead of just coming to see you. Or maybe not. Oh well! I just wanted to write. The scritch of the quill was relaxing when I started. Now I’m thinking I might snap it if I keep going.
See you soon
Sheogorath."

“Oh gods…” Swims whined, hands dropping to the table he sat at. If Sheogorath was seen with him, it would be a disaster! He held the letter over a candle lighting his small room and glanced about to memorize it as he set the burning paper in a glass bowl. After all, he'd probably lose it soon. He was currently staying in a bosmer house, woven delicately of living wood. He'd spent a few years learning how to weave the trees to his will but he knew he'd never master it like a bosmer. They spent centuries learning and perfecting their craft. He didn't even know how long he would live. Molag Bal's daughter, Molag Grunda, was immortal, but she was more daedra than mortal.

The first winged twilight. Swims-With-Snakes, as far as he could tell, was more argonian. That could mean anything though because children of Daedric Princes were nearly unheard of. Molag Grunda was the only other he knew of, and he didn't even know if she was blood-related to Molag Bal!

A flash of light in the corner of his eye caught his attention, bringing him to stare at a glass statuette, his first possession. A gift from a kind khajiit woman he had helped on his way to the dominion. It was shaped like a senche tiger, stripes painted on the glass in gold, poised to pounce and a wooden rabbit in front of it. He had placed it on top of a small box, which held a few small things he held dear. The first septim he'd earned, a round stone from Black Marsh, a vial of sand, and a sketch he'd made of Razum-Dar and Ayrenn. The small table it sat upon held his stationary set, given to him by Raz. His bed was simple, more like a bedroll than a bed, a stack of furs cushioned by feathers and leaves. It smelled like a farm, but he didn't mind.

A knock at his door frame pulled him from his taking stock and the cloth covering the opening was pushed aside to reveal Razum-Dar himself. He sent Swims-With-Snakes a smile before speaking. "Swims, This one came to tell you that- Why does it smell like smoke in here?..." His nose twitched. The argonian gestured to the bowl, answering with a half-truth. "Up to my old habits. I love the smell, it's soothing. The only thing better than paper smoke is wood smoke, but there's no firewood, obviously."

Raz frowned, concern in his eyes. "Did something happen? This one is always ready to listen." Swims shifted a bit. "I had another nightmare last night. With the wizard? It's been a while since I had that one, so it took me off guard. I'll be fine, Razum-Dar."

The khajiit sighed at hearing his full name.

"This one has told you many times, do not be so formal! Raz considers you a friend, please call me Raz. Anyway, Raz has come to tell you Ayrenn wants us for a travel debriefing. We leave for Skyrim soon."

Swims-With-Snakes nodded, and stood, dumping the bowl out the window. Ashes fluttered in the wind, and the lump of wax fell hidden in the bushes below. Finally, the Argonian turned to follow Raz out into Valenwood.

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Swims-With-Snakes followed Raz closely, his instincts screaming to be nearer, but forcing himself to maintain a respectable distance. He knew he would probably always be like this, as the group he was a slave with wasn’t allowed to touch. He tended to stay too close to others as a result, starved for contact.

An arm wrapped around his shoulders, squeezing tight. He blinked as he realized he had gotten closer without realizing it, and was now pressed to Razum-Dar’s side. He looked up at him to find the khajiit smirking down at him. "This one noticed you wanted to be near. You can always come close. Raz does not mind."

This had Swims smiling gratefully.

"Thank you... Raz."

At that, Razum-dar grinned, squeezing him again. "This one knew he could get you to call him Raz! If he had known this was all it would take, he would have done it sooner!"

They laughed as they continued onward, reaching the small building Ayrenn chose for their meeting. Swims moved to pull away, only to find his friend not letting go. He then assumed it would be fine and let himself be led inside.

The queen was sat at a large table, and Raz pulled them over to sit beside her, hand on his shoulder. She didn't seem to care and began to debrief them. He listened closely, taking in every detail. She was interrupted by a whooshing noise. They all turned to see a ball of purple light, with faded away to reveal Sheogorath.

Swims-With-Snakes had seen many horrifying things. Had been terrified for a good portion of his life. He had seen innocents murdered, watched a Thalmor eat argonian eggs. But nothing could compare to the sight of his father appearing in front of Ayrenn and Razum-Dar. They leapt into battle stances, weapons drawn, and he quickly followed suit.

“Now, now! I’m only here to visit, no need for such hostility.” The Prince turned to Swims-With-Snakes and his face lit up. “Ah! My little Cheese Wedge, come greet your good old dad!” He opened his arms, and Swims put his weapons away, and let himself be pulled into the hug. “Now, I know you said you were gonna tell them who you are. Did you tell them yet?”

He pulled back to look at Sheogorath’s face, which still bore a huge grin. He let out a nervous trill, and spoke softly in his reply. “No, I had planned to tell them in a few days, on the anniversary of me becoming an Eye.”

“Well, no need to give them a speech now I suppose. Now, I should tell you, there are six assassins outside waiting for you! Ahohoho! Said something about a veil? So, you’d best be careful, and guard her well. After all, the fate of Nirn rests on the three of you, and I like this place, and you. See you next time!” He disappeared in another flash, and left Swims to clean up the mess.

He turned to his (Former?) friends, terrified. They seemed angry, shocked… And betrayed. There was a spark of indignation in him at this. Sure, he’d never told them his parentage, but they knew more about him than he of them. He held his hands away from them, and where they could see them.

“Can we please talk before you attack me?” He cursed the tremble of his voice, but was glad when they slowly lowered their weapons although they didn’t put them away.

Raz was the first to speak, his tone hard and cold as stone. “He called you his son. You hugged him. You have been consorting with daedra, the entire time we knew you?”

Swims-With-Snakes shook his head. “No. I do not speak to him, I do not worship him, nor any other Daedra. My mother, a normal argonian- Well… Maybe normal isn’t the best description if she agreed to spend a night with the Daedric Prince of Madness… Anyway! She wound up with his child, me. I don’t have daedric magic, I don’t have odd features, I seem to be… Normal as far as I can tell.”

Raz nodded, seeming pleased with that answer, but Swims knew he would look deeper than anything he could answer himself. For all he knew Raz would look to prophecies if he had to.

Speaking of; a projection appeared. Of course the Prophet would appear now. Of course.

“Vestige! It is imperative that you come to me as soon as possible! The threat of Molag Bal grows ever closer, and we must hurry to defeat him. I will be waiting at The Harborage.”

Raz turned, staring at him as the projection vanished. Swims sighed and spoke carefully. “I will explain, I promise. And whatever you think is necessary to confirm the truth… I will comply with.”

He looked at the trees, trying to pick out the assassins and not face the fact that he just said he’s okay with being tortured.

There, a flicker of movement, a thalmor shape, a small patch of sunlight off golden skin. A flick of his wrist, and a throwing knife was buried in the elf and poison in their veins. With that the forest exploded. High elves bursting from their cover with swords, daggers, bows, then they blurred together.

A woman with a mace swinging for him, his sword in her belly. A narrowly dodged arrow. A dagger across his shoulders. The sting of poison. Swinging haphazardly as he spun around, catching someone (A boy, this one was practically a child, oh gods) in the neck. He moved towards Raz, who was surrounded by the other four. A sword through a man’s back and out the other side. Their armour was low quality. The plates were too far apart and let a careful strike through easily.

He felt warm, and wondered if it was the blood staining his scales, the sun glaring overhead, or the exercise of fighting. Only a few left. The ground was slick and red. He grabbed a woman by the hair and buried his blade in her mouth. Her body seized once, then fell limp as her spine was severed from her skull. The last two were finished off quickly by his companions.

His vision was blurring, and he remembered the burning in the cuts scattered over his body, and pulled some cure poisons from his bag, downing the first and handing one to Ayrenn and the other to Raz, who quickly drank them as well. Everything cleared a moment later. He never liked fighting, and looking at the dead elves scattered across the small clearing, he felt sick.

He knew he would have to get used to it, but could he? Raz never seemed to care, but then he remembered an old conversation.

“I serve my queen. If she gives me an order, I follow it. Even if it means killing men, women, children, guilty or innocent. My blade, my life, is hers to command.”

Maybe he would never stop feeling it, the guilt of ending someone’s life, but it wasn’t his choice anymore. Ayrenn called the shots.

Speaking of, she looked upset...

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Swims-With-Snakes braced himself, fully expecting to receive a punishment of some sort. He couldn’t help the distressed squeak that escaped him. Ayrenn stopped in her tracks as she looked at him and realized how scared he was of her. She spoke softly, looking hurt now.

“Do you really have so little faith in my friendship?”

Swims looked her in the eye. “I would give my life for you. There is no other meaning to my life beyond serving you, my queen… But your stance on Daedra leaves me wary of you knowing of my blood. I cannot change my parentage. However, that does not matter to most people in the end. I have always been assured of persecution thanks to this.”

Razum-Dar sighed and pulled Swims into a one-armed hug. “This one has no room to judge another based on the actions of their parents. Who your father is does not matter so long as he does not influence you.”

The khajiit squeezed him and looked to Ayrenn.

“We know Swims-With-Snakes well, and this one thinks his fears were justified. He also said he had planned to tell us in a different fashion very soon. Raz thinks there should be no consequences. We are not always honest with him either.” Swims blinked in surprise. Raz would usually be the one advocating a knife in the throat of anyone who could be considered a threat to Ayrenn, especially if they got as close as he was. He couldn’t lie, he was still waiting for it.

Ayrenn sighed. “Yes. But we will tell the other Eyes of this. They should be aware as it could have bearing on missions. Understood?”

Swims nodded and felt himself quivering again.

The other Eyes didn’t trust him as much, partially because he was Argonian, and his people weren’t allied with the Dominion. He had also shown up out of a hurricane on Skywatch, and just started helping everyone he could. None of this had helped when he hadn’t hesitated to accept a position as an Eye despite being an Argonian. As a result, they were respectful but hostile.

He was surprised out of his thoughts by a squeeze to his shoulders and blinked at Razum-Dar. “Do not worry, little lizard. You are safe with me.”

He swallowed, a chill rushing up his spine.

“It is when I will be without you that I am afraid of.”

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Swims-With-Snakes blinked as he realized he was walking out of a meeting room. His face was wet with tears he didn’t remember shedding. He tried to remember the meeting he was in, the other Eyes walking the opposite way he was supposed to. Raz tugged on his wrist. He brushed the gap away, not eager to recall something clearly unpleasant.

He followed the Khajiit silently, trying to remember if they were going somewhere important. If it was, he wouldn’t have forgotten though. After all, he never forgot really important things, because they mattered. He knew important things like Ayrenn’s favorite food and Razum-Dar’s weird quirk of wrapping his tail around his waist when he was sad. They probably didn’t know he remembered. He wouldn’t tell them either, because it would make them uncomfortable. He didn’t understand why, but when he remembered tiny things it was often interpreted as creepy rather than caring, as he thought of it.

“Are you listening to me?” Raz asked, ripping him from his mind. Swims-With-Snakes blinked, realizing Raz had been talking for a while. Guilt colored his gaze as he shook his head. “I’m sorry, Razum-Dar. I was thinking…”

The cat sighed, tail circling his waist. “You need to pay attention. You’ll miss important things if you stay locked up in your head all the time. And I thought we were past full names, Swims,”

Thoughts crept on the edge of his awareness, trying to drag him back. He had to focus on Raz’s eyes. “Apologies. It will take some time to get used to calling you Raz, as I have called you your full name for some time now. On a different matter, you are sad,” His head tilted. “Why?”

There was no answer as Raz looked him over, then pulled him to walk beside him. When he finally spoke, it was quiet. “You do not remember the meeting then.” The statement was clearly that, a statement, but he felt a need to answer it. A stiff nod confirmed it.

“Then I will explain on the way to Skyrim. We have other business to attend, like getting you a horse.”

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Dear diary, it has been almost a week since my father was revealed to the others, and it has been… tense. The others refuse to work with me without being ordered to. Except R of course. It almost feels like my first days as an agent again, though I do not mind spending time with the khajiit. I will not be forced to be ashamed of my parentage, because there is no reason to be. There is no evil in my blood because my father is not the Lord of Evil. That title is given to Molag-Bal, and he has beyond all doubt earned it. He is the only truly evil Daedric Prince. I have experienced this myself… But that is the least important thing now. The expedition is going well, despite the lack of teamwork. I have noticed my mind wanders more lately. When I look in the mirror, I see myself, but the longer I stare, different images emerge. Visions of battles, standing with R on a beach I don’t recognize. Memories warped by time? A form of divination? I will explore this in depth later.

Swims-With-Snakes ripped the page out with a sigh, stretching. He stood slowly, his bones aching from the cold. Argonians were meant for more temperate weather like marshes or jungles… He left his tent and sat by Raz. The khajiit pulled him to his side, sharing what warmth he could as he took the entry to read it. When finished, he tossed it in the fire, as always. It had become another form of communication from them, along with a coping mechanism.

A blanket landed on their backs, making the timid argonian jump. He turned to see Risanweth, the wood elf agent walking away, the only one near enough to put the blanket on them. “Thanks…” He called, pulling the blanket close around him. There was no response from her. When he turned back, Raz sighed.

“Well, let us hope our camp is not happened upon. After all, the cold is bad for fighting in.” The lizard nodded, a tremor wracking his body, tail lashing. He rapped his knuckles against the log they sat upon afterward. The whole world seemed slower in Skyrim. Everything moved sluggishly, and all sound was muffled by the snow. The sun shone brightly against the ice crystals, blinding him at times. The cold made him tired and achy. He wanted to sleep and never wake up…

Raz shook him, bringing him back to awareness. A sharp inhale brought painfully frozen air rushing into his lungs, burning them. He hissed in frustration, trying to shake himself awake. Razum-Dar then pulled him to his feet, dragging him back to his tent. The cat shoved him onto his bedroll and crawled in beside him. He gratefully accepted the warmth, trilling quietly. Soft purring arose from his companion’s chest in response, lulling him into the first restful sleep of the trip.

It was still dark when Razum-dar woke him up. Every part of him hurt, the tips of his toes and his tail the worst. Memories of Cold Harbor flitted in front of his eyes, the cut of whips against his back, the screams of other soul shriven echoing in his ears. The cold, so much worse than this, yet less dangerous because there was no risk of frostbite. He bit his tongue to stop the chattering of his teeth, flexing his digits. Raz gazed at him with sympathy, helping outfit him in thicker clothing when his hands fumbled. Gods, he would be useless in a fight like this.

He turned to the small mirror he kept with him. His eyes grazed over scales and small spikes in his face, seeing nonexistent patterns emerge. The patterns shifted as he changed his perspective and changed into new images. Slowly, they turned from his scales to places and people. Ayrenn stood tall in front of a crowd of people he couldn’t see, himself in a temple of some sort, Raz wearing… An amulet of Mara?
His concentration shattered. ‘Well… That confirms that is isn’t visions of the future. Raz would never get married because he’s in love with Ayrenn.’ Despite his thinking, however, he couldn’t deny the niggling doubt. What ifs clawed at his brain. Who would Raz wear an amulet of Mara for besides Ayrenn? It could be for her, but they can’t marry. Raz is neither noble nor royalty. She would have to step down from the throne and she would never. Her dedication is too strong.

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I got covid so I'm putting all stories on hiatus until further notice

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Hey guys, I'm gonna be posting this on all my WIPs. I know a lot of you guys have been waiting on me to write new chapters, and I had intended to get a whole bunch out in February and March, but there's been a lot going on this year, and I won't share personal details bc it involves friends and family, so idk when I'm going to continue. I'm really sorry to anyone who's disappointed by this, but I do intend to try to continue writing. Just not for a while. There's more important things going on that need my attention. I hope to post a new chapter of many of my stories at least before this year ends, but don't hold your breath. It doesn't look like things are going to improve any time in the very near future :(

Also considering rewriting this one after rereading some of it

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Guys, so much has happened since I last updated. My grandma died, my granny got dementia and has maybe had a stroke, we're waiting on test results, my sibling got a divorce and ran away, one of my dogs died, my house burned down, my phone went on the fritz and my laptop followed, things have been crazy.

I'm so sorry my stories have just been sitting despite promises to update them, but shit's been crazy. I genuinely have no idea when I'm going to update anything, I've written tiny bits of wip chapters, but life has decided I need to be destroyed.

I hope I update again soon, but I have low hopes. I hate this though and I'll keep writing when I can.