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Helen moved over to make space for Lex at the kitchen island without looking at him; and things quickly deteriorated into the awkward silence that always happened when the two were alone together. Eventually, she set her cup down with a soft thud of porcelain on quartz and turned to make the exhausted man beside her a mug of cocoa the way he liked it. She passed it to him when she was done and they drank their respective beverages in silence. The quiet was finally broken when the woman’s cup was almost empty.
"My fiancé took me to an exhibit opening at the Calatrava."
It was unexpected, Helen volunteering personal information about herself, but Lex kept quite, unwilling to startle the woman out of the sharing mood she was in. While Helen was more than happy to nanny Connor, Lex quickly learned she was a deeply private person that had major difficulty with dealing with people. Helen would rather do her job and go home to her empty apartment than socialize.
"It was dark when we left and he thought it would be nice to go down to the lake for a while and watch the water. We went down to the shore and stood against the railing and held hands. You have to be there to get it, but that part of the lake is really only gorgeous at night. There’s nothing but rocks directly below and people tend to drop their things when they lean over. During the day, you can see all that garbage. At night though, at night you don’t see any of that. You just see the water and the lighthouses on the far-off breakwaters."
Lex turned his gaze back to the mug in his hands, knowing instinctively that she wouldn't continue if he was watching her. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught the way her hands tightened around her own cup.
"He said he loved me and then pushed me over the railing."
Words fled Lex on hearing that and he flared his nostrils in anger, appalled on Helen's behalf at such a horrendous violation of trust. Helen must have picked up on it because she gave him a strained twitch of her lips before turning away to refill her cup. With her back to him, she continued.
"Clark appeared out of nowhere and saved me. Before I knew what was going on I was back on the ground and Caleb was pinned against the railing. Clark let him go, just for a second, and I shoved him over."
Helen turned around and leaned against the counter, her distant stare fixed on Lex's rumpled shirt. She took a sip of her coffee and rolled her shoulders.
"The brother got everything. Turns out he lied when he said he'd made me his beneficiary, like I had him. He needed the money more than he needed me."
Lex just stared, unsure of how to handle this particular revelation. Helen didn't seem to have a problem with his hesitancy though, instead looking down into her cup.
"Clark can still see the good in people."
He licked his lips. "Even if they don't deserve it?"
Helen's eyes cleared and she looked up to meet his gaze unflinchingly. "Especially then, I think."
“I didn’t know you came with them when he came back,” Lex said, changing the topic.
Helen shrugged. “There wasn’t anything left for me in Milwaukee. My family knew me well enough to know what really happened and Caleb’s family never liked me in the first place.”
“Your family?”
“They aren’t going to say anything. I’m not welcome back but they won’t say anything. It’s not like it was premeditated.”
“How did you end up as nanny?”
“Clark needed it. I waited a few months after it was ruled an accident before visiting him. I was curious. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t going crazy.” A small smile broke out on the solemn woman’s face. “He came to the door half-dressed with baby food in his hair. I was pretty sure he was trying not to cry.”
Lex couldn’t picture it. Clark always seemed so sure with Connor, it was difficult to imagine him otherwise. Helen must have picked up on his train of thought because she have a faint huff of laughter.
“He was an absolute mess. I still don’t know why but he let me in the house and before either of us knew it, Connor had been fed, bathed, and put down for a nap. Apparently, it was the first time in days that Clark had been able to sleep for more than a couple hours straight.
“I didn’t deserve it,” she admitted frankly. “His help. That night, with the police after what I’d done. I especially didn’t deserve to be trusted with his kid. But he did, trust me. Clark opened his home to me, let me in when I was kicked out of everything else. I made sure he wouldn’t ever regret it.”
Helen looked Lex in the eye, her serious gaze cutting him with a familiar understanding. “Don’t make Clark regret it, Lex.”