Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

12:01 am

 squiddy boi added glitch bitch, humerus jokes, pure and innocent, edgy mcr, goopy boyo, smol bean, head dog salesman, questionably sane, cotton no eye joe, and dusty garbage to the chat.

squiddy boi: what's up my au fellas

glitch bitch: ink wtf

glitch bitch: why

squiddy boi: i figured it'd be entertaining to have the aus meet each other

glitch bitch: okay but you know those guys are literally only from a single timeline of those aus right

squiddy boi: duhhhhhhh glitchy

glitch bitch: don't call me that

squiddy boi: i just chose my favorites of each :)

glitch bitch: you have favorites of these disgusting glitches???

squiddy boi: uhhh? and you don't??

glitch bitch: why the fuck would i? i fucking hate them all

cotton no eye joe: why me

squiddy boi: ayyyyyyy genoooooo wassupppppppppp

cotton no eye joe: why do i always get caught up in these sorts of things

cotton no eye joe: it's always with the fuckin timelines or alternate universes or some shit

squiddy boi: well you could have ignored it

cotton no eye joe: ...

cotton no eye joe: shut up

cotton no eye joe: with your fuckin logic shit

glitch bitch: this is a glitch i can get behind

glitch bitch: someone's finally telling old inky bitch to shut the fuck up

squiddy boi: you guys are so mean :(

01:30 am

goopy boyo: Why the hell am I in this chat?

squiddy boi: i figured you'd have fun

goopy boyo: And what on earth could have given you THAT idea?

squiddy boi: you'll see ;)

goopy boyo: I'm not sure what you're implying, but I hope that you are correct.

squiddy boi: lmao what's with the formal text boi

goopy boyo: Do not call me that.

goopy boyo: It is simply because I refuse to degrade to such a level as you and the others.

squiddy boi: booooo l a m e

goopy boyo: Fuck you.

squiddy boi: no u

3:32 am

squiddy boi: YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY

squiddy boi: RIGHT ROUND

squiddy boi: LIKE A RECORD BABY

squiddy boi: RIGHT ROUND RIGHT ROUND

questionably sane: NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP

squiddy boi: NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN

questionably sane: NEVER GONNA RUN AROUND AND

questionably sane: DESERT YOU

head dog salesman: NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY

squiddy boi: NEVER GONNA SAY GOODBYE

questionably sane: NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE

head dog salesman: AND HURT YOU

squiddy boi: that seems debatable

questionably sane: LMAOOOOOO

head dog salesman: damn called out

glitch bitch: SHUT THE FUCK UP IT'S 3 AM AND SOME OF US HAVE WORK IN THE MORNING

squiddy boi: oh shit

head dog salesman: fuck

questionably sane: lmao yeet

5:12 am

 squiddy boi: do you think plants have feelings

squiddy boi: like

squiddy boi: could a plant be my friend

dusty garbage: damn i knew you were sad

dusty garbage: but this is next level

squiddy boi: stfu

squiddy boi: i just wanna know if i should be taking better care of my new pet plant

squiddy boi: is he gonna feel sad if i let him die

squiddy boi: should i give him a kiss before i go to bed

squiddy boi: would talking to him make him feel happy

dusty garbage: idc

squiddy boi: bitch i know you don't but what if the plant does

dusty garbage: dude...

dusty garbage: it's a plant?

squiddy boi: BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

dusty garbage: yeah no i'm done bye

squiddy boi: I NEED A N S W E R S

9:23 am

 cotton no eye joe: i stg i fucking hate all of you

Chapter Text

12:14 pm

humerus jokes: lmao

humerus jokes: the fuck is this shit

squiddy boi: oooooooo my boi classic

squiddy boi: you're finally awake uwu

humerus jokes: "classic"?

humerus jokes: also rude but true

humerus jokes: and another thing

humerus jokes: who tf are you??

squiddy boi: oh!

squiddy boi: lmao of course you don't know who i am

squiddy boi: i'm ink

squiddy boi: aka the protector of the aus

squiddy boi: and you, dear friend, are from the original thing!

squiddy boi: thus "classic"

humerus jokes: uh

humerus jokes: idk if this is a joke or not

humerus jokes: but it sure ain't ticklin my funny bone

squiddy boi: ayyyyyy

squiddy boi: nah tho it isn't a joke

pure and innocent: HELLO FRIENDS

pure and innocent: MY PHONE WAS NOTIFYING ME QUITE A BIT SO I HAVE ARRIVED

squiddy boi: AHHHH IT'S MY BOIIIIIIII

pure and innocent: HELLO TO YOU FRIEND

pure and innocent: WHO ARE YOU

humerus jokes: scroll up

pure and innocent: OKAY I WILL DO THAT

humerus jokes: who's that??

squiddy boi: underswap you

squiddy boi: in his universe he acts kinda like your bro

squiddy boi: we call him blueberry

squiddy boi: because he's berry pure

humerus jokes: ayyyyyyy

humerus jokes: huh so i guess you really weren't joking then

pure and innocent: NICE TO MEET YOU NEW FRIENDS INK AND CLASSIC

squiddy boi: pure

humerus jokes: nice to meet you too kid lmao

edgy mcr: YO

edgy mcr: WHY THE FUCK DOES MY PHONE KEEP VIBRATING

edgy mcr: CAN'T A GUY GET SOME SLEEP WITHOUT FEELING LIKE HE HAS A FUCKING VIBRATOR IN HIS POCKET??

humerus jokes: pffft

squiddy boi: ayyyy red

pure and innocent: WHAT'S A VIBRATOR

humerus jokes: lmaooo

squiddy boi: sksksksksksks

pure and innocent: SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME

humerus jokes: oh fuck he's serious?

edgy mcr: yo wtf is this

humerus jokes: scroll up

edgy mcr: no

squiddy boi: typical underfell lmao

pure and innocent: I WOULD BE HAPPY TO EXPLAIN IF YOU WANT

edgy mcr: only if you turn off fucking caps lock

pure and innocent: BUT THEN HOW CAN YOU TELL HOW ENTHUSIASTIC I AM??

edgy mcr: i wouldn't

edgy mcr: problem solved

humerus jokes: damn

pure and innocent: DON'T WORRY FRIEND

pure and innocent: I AM PERFECTLY WILLING TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK

pure and innocent: FOR 50G

humerus jokes: DAMN

squiddy boi: AFJLKSJFKDLS

edgy mcr: if you were here i would fucking kill you

pure and innocent: DON'T BE MAD BECAUSE I KNOW HOW TO MAKE A DEAL :)

edgy mcr: fuck you

pure and innocent: YOU WISH ;)

humerus jokes: omfg

squiddy boi: i

squiddy boi: i'm just questioning everything now

squiddy boi changed pure and innocent's name to pure and innocent?.

pure and innocent?: THIS IS PROBABLY MORE SUITABLE TBH

edgy mcr: yo seriously wtf is going on

pure and innocent?: I'D STILL BE HAPPY TO EXPLAIN

edgy mcr: fuckin

edgy mcr: fine

pure and innocent?: OKAY SO

pure and innocent?: INK AKA SQUIDDY BOI IS THE PROTECTOR OF ALL AUS OF WHICH WE ARE A PART OF

pure and innocent?: SO HE MADE THIS CHAT WITH US AUS IN IT

pure and innocent?: I HAVEN'T MET EVERYONE BUT I KNOW SQUIDDY BOI IS INK AND HUMERUS JOKES IS CLASSIC

squiddy boi: and we're gonna call you red uwu

edgy mcr: don't do that

squiddy boi: okay

squiddy boi: red

humerus jokes: lmaooo

edgy mcr: why me

edgy mcr: why the fuck am i here

squiddy boi: huh that's funny

squiddy boi: geno asked the same thing last night

humerus jokes: i think we're all asking that question

edgy mcr: who tf is geno??

pure and innocent?: GASP CLASSIC I AM NOT ASKING THAT QUESTION

pure and innocent?: I KNOW WHY I'M HERE

pure and innocent?: I MEAN

pure and innocent?: WHO WOULDN'T WANT I, THE MAGNIFICENT SANS, IN THEIR CHAT

squiddy boi: sksksksksk

edgy mcr: wait your name is sans?

pure and innocent?: YES OF COURSE

humerus jokes: same

edgy mcr: wtf me too

squiddy boi: oh ya and geno is sans too lmao

edgy mcr: what the fuck

edgy mcr: you're sans

edgy mcr: he's sans

edgy mcr: HE'S sans

edgy mcr: I'M sans

edgy mcr: ARE THERE ANY OTHER SANSES I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT??

questionably sane: do u wanna have a bad time lmao

edgy mcr has left the chat.

questionably sane: so does he know that we're all just alternate versions of him

questionably sane: or does he really think that we're all just named sans

humerus jokes: at this point idek

squiddy boi added edgy mcr to the chat.

edgy mcr: no 

edgy mcr: let me escape

edgy mcr has left the chat.

squiddy boi: lmaoooo

squiddy boi: he thinks he can escape :)

squiddy boi added edgy mcr to the chat.

squiddy boi: oh red

squiddy boi: there is no escape

edgy mcr: wtf

questionably sane: so why am i the one who's supposedly questionably sane

squiddy boi: stfu

squiddy boi: oh also introduce yourself

questionably sane: yeet aight

questionably sane: i'm sans

questionably sane: duh

questionably sane: but everyone calls me killer

humerus jokes: aha

humerus jokes: uh

humerus jokes: why do they call you that??

questionably sane: i think you can guess why dumbass

humerus jokes: welp

edgy mcr: i like this guy

questionably sane: ayyyyyyy

pure and innocent?: I FEEL LIKE THIS SPIRALLED VERY QUICKLY

edgy mcr: you say that as if it was ever good in the first place

pure and innocent?: TOUCHE

squiddy boi: o fcuk

humerus jokes: pffft typos

squiddy boi: ffuckni error

squiddy boi: gtg hse bien a r00d d00d

humerus jokes: lmaoo aight

humerus jokes: good luck with that?

pure and innocent?: I DO NOT KNOW WHO THIS "ERROR" IS BUT GOOD LUCK FRIEND

questionably sane: lmao he's gonna get punched

edgy mcr: damn i hope so

1:48 pm

squiddy boi: thank you, classic and blue

squiddy boi: things went very well uwu

squiddy boi: as for the rest of you

squiddy boi: fuck you :)

Chapter Text

5:13 pm

smol bean: Oh! This seems rather interesting!

goopy boyo: Ugh.

goopy boyo: It's you.

smol bean: ...?

smol bean: Nightmare?

goopy boyo: How perceptive of you.

smol bean: It's been a while

goopy boyo: Clearly.

smol bean: Have you been doing alright?

goopy boyo: Ahaha.

goopy boyo: Yes, everything's just peachy.

smol bean: Well

smol bean: That's good!

goopy boyo: Yep.

smol bean: Uhhh

smol bean: Anything new lately?

goopy boyo: Nope.

smol bean: Ah

smol bean: Have you met any interesting people?

goopy boyo: No.

smol bean: Oh

smol bean: Well

goopy boyo: Are you quite done?

smol bean: What do you mean??

goopy boyo: I mean, shut the fuck up.

smol bean: I'm sorry

goopy boyo: I said:

goopy boyo: Shut. Up.

smol bean: I'm so sorry

goopy boyo: Stop.

smol bean: Let me help you

goopy boyo: Stop it right now.

smol bean: Please, Nightmare

goopy boyo: Fuck you.

smol bean: I should have done something before

goopy boyo: If you don't stop talking right now, you will regret it.

smol bean: I'm so so sorry

smol bean: I was such a horrible brother

goopy boyo: STOP.

smol bean: I'm sorry

5:39 pm

goopy boyo: You know what?

goopy boyo: This was a mistake.

goopy boyo: I'm done.

goopy boyo has left the chat.

6:21 pm

squiddy boi: oh boy

squiddy boi: it begins

cotton no eye joe: yo ink

cotton no eye joe: what just happened

squiddy boi: d r a m a

cotton no eye joe: no shit

cotton no eye joe: is everything okay with those two??

squiddy boi: lmaooo

squiddy boi: don't ask questions you don't want the answers to

cotton no eye joe: but i

cotton no eye joe: ya know what?

cotton no eye joe: you're right

cotton no eye joe: i don't wanna know

squiddy boi: good decision :D

cotton no eye joe: riiiight

cotton no eye joe: sooooo

cotton no eye joe: is he just gone now??

squiddy boi: he'll be back

cotton no eye joe: oh yeah??

cotton no eye joe: what makes you so sure

cotton no eye joe: he didn't seem like he ever really wanted to be here in the first place

squiddy boi: more questions huh

squiddy boi: now

squiddy boi: i wouldn't dare spoil the fun

squiddy boi: but don't worry

squiddy boi: you'll see soon enough

cotton no eye joe: ...

cotton no eye joe: yikes

cotton no eye joe: that's a bit unnerving

humerus jokes: damn

humerus jokes: i, too, feel unnerved

humerus jokes: though

humerus jokes: as a skeleton

humerus jokes: i always feel unnerved

squiddy boi: ayyyyyy

cotton no eye joe: sksksksks wheeze

cotton no eye joe: now is not the time

humerus jokes: fair

humerus jokes: who are you tho

cotton no eye joe: oh right

cotton no eye joe: i'm geno

cotton no eye joe: you're classic right?

humerus jokes: lmao i guess

humerus jokes: wtf kinda name is geno tho

humerus jokes: if you're a sans

humerus jokes: i feel like that might be a little...

humerus jokes: weird maybe?

cotton no eye joe: ahahaha

cotton no eye joe: wow ink i really see what you mean now

cotton no eye joe: that's too many questions for one day

cotton no eye joe: let's move on

squiddy boi: hehe you so silly

humerus jokes: uhhhh

humerus jokes: should i be concerned?

cotton no eye joe: no

squiddy boi: you can answer that question yourself

humerus jokes: welp

squiddy boi: don't worry guys

squiddy boi: things may seem confusing now

squiddy boi: but they'll probably make even less sense later

squiddy boi: it'll be really fun uwu

humerus jokes: yikes

cotton no eye joe: yikes x2

7:11 pm

glitch bitch: ink

glitch bitch: what have you created

squiddy boi: something amazing

glitch bitch: i hardly think this qualifies as something amazing

squiddy boi: hmph

squiddy boi: of course YOU don't appreciate it

squiddy boi: so r00d

glitch bitch: wha

glitch bitch: what the fuck is that supposed to mean???

pure and innocent?: HELLO NEW PERSON

glitch bitch: ah

glitch bitch: you

pure and innocent?: YES IT IS I

pure and innocent?: THE MAGNIFICENT SANS

pure and innocent?: ALSO KNOWN AS BLUEBERRY AS TO NOT CAUSE CONFUSION

pure and innocent?: WHO ARE YOU NEW PERSON?

glitch bitch: why do you want to know

squiddy boi: that's error lmao

pure and innocent?: THE SAME ERROR WHO WAS BEING A "R00D D00D"?

squiddy boi: lmaoooooo

squiddy boi: yep that's the one

glitch bitch: ink why

glitch bitch: you always do this shit

glitch bitch: did you add him to the chat just to mess with me??

squiddy boi: g a s p

squiddy boi: why error no

squiddy boi: i would never do such a thing

squiddy boi: i simply added him because he's a delight

pure and innocent?: :3

squiddy boi: do you not find this beautiful bean a delight

glitch bitch: no

squiddy boi: oh deary me

squiddy boi: why on earth not?

pure and innocent?: WHAT IS HAPPENING

squiddy boi: does he happen to remind you of someone?

glitch bitch: shut up

squiddy boi: oh dear

squiddy boi: i would never mean to bring back painful memories

squiddy boi: i apologize dear friend

glitch bitch: i am not your friend

squiddy boi: oh no

squiddy boi: and here i thought we were friends

glitch bitch: NO

glitch bitch: WE AREN'T

glitch bitch: FRIENDS DON'T DO THIS SHIT

glitch bitch: I HATE YOU

glitch bitch: I HATE THAT FUCKING BLUEBERRY

glitch bitch: AND I HATE THIS FUCKING CHAT

glitch bitch has left the chat.

squiddy boi: oh bother :(

pure and innocent?: Is he okay?

squiddy boi: blue??

squiddy boi: what happened to enthusiasm??

pure and innocent?: Now does not seem like the time

pure and innocent?: Seriously is he okay??

squiddy boi: lol ye

squiddy boi: he'll be fine

pure and innocent?: Are you sure??

squiddy boi: probably

pure and innocent?: Probably???

squiddy boi: hey it's almost 7:30

squiddy boi: it's taco time right?

pure and innocent?: GASP

pure and innocent?: YOU ARE RIGHT FRIEND INK

pure and innocent?: But don't think we're done with this.

squiddy boi: k

squiddy boi: good luck on tacos lol

pure and innocent?: THANK YOU FRIEND UWU

7:43 pm

squiddy boi added goopy boyo to the chat.

squiddy boi: read

8:15 pm

goopy boyo: I see.

goopy boyo: So that's why you wanted me here.

goopy boyo: Thank you.

Chapter Text

2:53 am

squiddy boi added glitch bitch to the chat.

squiddy boi: heyyyy

squiddy boi: you feelin better?

glitch bitch: no

glitch bitch: fuck you

squiddy boi: aww

squiddy boi: well

squiddy boi: i don't see you leaving the chat yet uwu

glitch bitch: say that one more time

glitch bitch: and i'll kill you

squiddy boi: lol no u won't

glitch bitch: try me

glitch bitch: no really

glitch bitch: go ahead

glitch bitch: because i'm already mad and i really wouldn't mind beating your ass

squiddy boi: huh

squiddy boi: nah i'm good

squiddy boi: sounds like it'll take a lot of work tbh

glitch bitch: god i hate you

edgy mcr: that makes two of us

glitch bitch: lmaooo abomination #13 that's great

squiddy boi: boy i didn't even do anything to you tf

edgy mcr: you cursed me with this chat

glitch bitch: same

squiddy boi: "cursed"

squiddy boi: gotta hate the autocorrect

squiddy boi: it's okay tho

squiddy boi: i know you meant blessed :)

cotton no eye joe: okay even i gotta admit this chat is cursed

humerus jokes: gotta agree there

questionably sane: yuuuup

squiddy boi: so were all of you guys just gonna sit there and not say anything??

questionably sane: ya

cotton no eye joe: that was the plan

humerus jokes: yes exactly that

edgy mcr: killer wait don't leave

edgy mcr: you're the only remotely sane one here

questionably sane: i mean 

questionably sane: that's 100% wrong 

questionably sane: but i'm just

questionably sane: gonna agree

cotton no eye joe: WHEEZE

cotton no eye joe: "sane"

humerus jokes: pfffft

edgy mcr: fuck off

humerus jokes: no u

cotton no eye joe: OH DAMN

edgy mcr: I'LL FUCKIN SLIT YOUR THROAT

humerus jokes: bitch i don't have a throat

edgy mcr: SHUT IT

squiddy boi: damn 

squiddy boi: you guys are really goin at it

glitch bitch: shut it ink

glitch bitch: it's just getting good

questionably sane: yo should i get sum popcorn??

edgy mcr: oh my god

edgy mcr: i take it back

edgy mcr: you're ALL completely insane

humerus jokes: yuuup

cotton no eye joe: true

questionably sane: fair

3:47 am

dusty garbage: why do i always miss the action

dusty garbage: everything interesting happens when i'm busy

dusty garbage: drama

dusty garbage: romance

dusty garbage: death

dusty garbage: well not that

dusty garbage: yet

head dog salesman: lmao where's the "romance"

dusty garbage: horror??

dusty garbage: why the fuck are you up?

head dog salesman: evil never sleeps

dusty garbage: huh

dusty garbage: i guess that's true

head dog salesman: yup

head dog salesman: also murder i guess

head dog salesman: just a little

dusty garbage: huh

dusty garbage: casual murder

dusty garbage: at 3:45 in the morning

head dog salesman: yep

head dog salesman: gotta keep the blood pumping

dusty garbage: riiiiight

dusty garbage: soooooo

dusty garbage: how do we make this chat actually interesting

squiddy boi: I'LL TELL YA HOW

dusty garbage: nope

dusty garbage: i'm out

head dog salesman: peace

squiddy boi: :(

5:53 am

pure and innocent?: GOOOOOOD MORNING FRIENDS!!

smol bean: Oh! Hello there!

smol bean: I don't believe we've met

pure and innocent?: AH YES!!

pure and innocent?: I AM THE MAGNIFICENT SANS

pure and innocent?: HOWEVER I AM KNOWN AS BLUEBERRY TO AVOID CONFUSION

pure and innocent?: AND YOU ARE?

smol bean: My name's Dream!

pure and innocent?: IT IS VERY NICE TO MEET YOU NEW FRIEND

smol bean: It's very nice to meet you as well!

smol bean: So tell me Blueberry

smol bean: Why are you up so early?

pure and innocent?: TRAINING OF COURSE!

pure and innocent?: IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO START THE DAY WITH SOME CASUAL NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES

smol bean: I agree!

smol bean: Wait "near death"??

pure and innocent?: SO WHY ARE YOU UP FRIEND??

smol bean: Oh!

smol bean: I'm up so that I can watch the sunrise!

pure and innocent?: YOU GET TO SEE THE SUN??

smol bean: Yes! It's very beautiful

pure and innocent?: THAT'S INCREDIBLE!!

pure and innocent?: I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE THE SUN!

smol bean: Oh that's right

smol bean: You've never seen the sun before

smol bean: Well perhaps one day I can take you to see it!

pure and innocent?: I WOULD LOVE THAT!!

pure and innocent?: THANK YOU FRIEND

smol bean: Of course!

goopy boyo: Ugh.

goopy boyo: Of course you two would hit it off.

pure and innocent?: OH??

pure and innocent?: I DON'T THINK WE HAVE MET EITHER!

pure and innocent?: I AM THE MAGNIFICENT SANS

goopy boyo: I know who you are.

pure and innocent?: AH 

pure and innocent?: SO THAT MAKES THINGS MUCH EASIER

pure and innocent?: AND WHO ARE YOU???

goopy boyo: I find no reason to supply you with that information.

pure and innocent?: WHY NOT??

goopy boyo: You mean absolutely nothing to me.

goopy boyo: You have no need to know my name.

pure and innocent?: WELL SOMEONE IS IN A BAD MOOD

goopy boyo: Aha.

goopy boyo: Yes, quite.

pure and innocent?: WELL IF YOU WON'T TELL ME YOUR NAME

pure and innocent?: THEN I'LL JUST HAVE TO ASK SOMEONE ELSE

pure and innocent?: FRIEND DREAM

pure and innocent?: ARE YOU AWARE OF WHO THIS PERSON IS??

smol bean: Yes

pure and innocent?: FANTASTIC

pure and innocent?: AND WHAT MIGHT THEIR NAME BE??

smol bean: Nightmare

pure and innocent?: OH!

pure and innocent?: WHAT AN INTERESTING PARALLEL TO YOUR NAME!

smol bean: Yeah

pure and innocent?: ONE MIGHT THINK THAT YOU ARE RELATED

smol bean: We are

goopy boyo: No, we aren't.

goopy boyo: Not anymore.

pure and innocent?: Oh

pure and innocent?: So you two were part of the drama yesterday huh

smol bean: I suppose

goopy boyo: If that can really be considered "drama".

pure and innocent?: What's up with you guys???

pure and innocent?: What happened between you?

goopy boyo: That's none of your concern.

goopy boyo: Right, brother?

smol bean: Uh

pure and innocent?: Dream...

pure and innocent?: What happened?

goopy boyo: Do. Not.

smol bean: Nothing

smol bean: Nothing happened

goopy boyo: Good.

pure and innocent?: Uhh okay

pure and innocent?: I suppose I should not push it

pure and innocent?: But I hope that you two are able to work out whatever is going on.

smol bean: Yeah

goopy boyo: Sure. Whatever.

dusty garbage: wassup bitches i'm bored

goopy boyo: Dust. No.

dusty garbage: oh shit

dusty garbage: ohhhh shiiiiiiiit

dusty garbage: oops uh

dusty garbage: welp

dusty garbage: yeet

7:54 am

squiddy boi: tsk tsk

squiddy boi: those two always make things so awkward

humerus jokes: uh yeah

humerus jokes: i'm genuinely concerned lol

edgy mcr: meh

edgy mcr: who doesn't have beef with their bro

edgy mcr: that's normal shit

humerus jokes: uhhhh

humerus jokes: i don't have beef with my bro

edgy mcr: what

edgy mcr: how even

humerus jokes: ???

humerus jokes: we just get along???

humerus jokes: do you not get along with your bro??

edgy mcr: pfft

edgy mcr: as far as the boss is concerned i'm not his bro

humerus jokes: wtf

humerus jokes: that's fucked up

edgy mcr: meh

edgy mcr: it's fine

humerus jokes: it sure doesn't seem like it

edgy mcr: well it is

humerus jokes: if you say so

squiddy boi: i don't have a bro lol

edgy mcr: lucky

humerus jokes: damn sucks

humerus jokes: ??

edgy mcr: ?

squiddy boi: lmao the difference in reactions

humerus jokes: my bro is literally the coolest wtf

edgy mcr: can't relate

humerus jokes: i thought we were supposed to be very similar

squiddy boi: ehhhhhh

squiddy boi: you're pretty similar

squiddy boi: but not in the environment you live in

edgy mcr: meaning?

squiddy boi: meaning the difference in the universes that you grew up in is distinct

squiddy boi: thus you both ended up different from each other in significant ways

humerus jokes: it's too early for this quantum shit

edgy mcr: agreed

squiddy boi: lol fair

squiddy boi: soooo

squiddy boi: how about that airline food

humerus jokes: but seriously how can you not get along with your bro

squiddy boi: oh boy

edgy mcr: look i don't know

edgy mcr: he just doesn't like me

edgy mcr: it's fine

humerus jokes: but that doesn't make sense

humerus jokes: if he's a papyrus then he should love you

edgy mcr: i

edgy mcr: well he doesn't

edgy mcr: he just doesn't

humerus jokes: but

humerus jokes: that doesn't make sense

humerus jokes: why wouldn't he

edgy mcr: why WOULD he

humerus jokes: what

edgy mcr: what's there to love

humerus jokes: woah okay

humerus jokes: this clearly goes deeper than i thought

edgy mcr: no it doesn't

edgy mcr: let's stop talking about this

humerus jokes: dude

humerus jokes: clearly something's going on

edgy mcr: nope nothing

edgy mcr: but if there were

edgy mcr: it'd be none of your fucking business

squiddy boi: yikes yikes

humerus jokes: seconded

edgy mcr: shut up

humerus jokes: alright man

humerus jokes: do what you want i guess

edgy mcr: i plan to

squiddy boi: oh boy

squiddy boi: uh

squiddy boi: so

squiddy boi: ya like jazz

edgy mcr: no and i don't like you either

humerus jokes: oOF

squiddy boi: my feelings :(

10:03 am

glitch bitch: who makes things awkward now

squiddy boi: u

glitch bitch: no u

squiddy boi: uno reverse card

glitch bitch: fuck off

squiddy boi: second uno reverse card

11:42 am

smol bean: Oh god

smol bean: This is worse than I thought

smol bean: Ink...

smol bean: What are you trying to do?

Chapter Text

4:20 pm

squiddy boi: 4:20

squiddy boi: whatchu smokin

edgy mcr: weed

squiddy boi: g a s p

squiddy boi: and you're not sharing??

humerus jokes: i want some too??

edgy mcr: no

edgy mcr: this shit's mine

edgy mcr: get your own

squiddy boi: uhm

squiddy boi: rude

humerus jokes: as a skeleton

humerus jokes: i'm offended

smol bean: You know that it's not healthy to smoke such things

squiddy boi: not for me

humerus jokes: duh

edgy mcr: yes

edgy mcr: i hope it kills me

smol bean: That's awful!

pure and innocent?: SORRY WHAT???

humerus jokes: yikes

squiddy boi: oOF

edgy mcr: lmao

edgy mcr: who tf is smol bean anyways

smol bean: Oh, sorry!

smol bean: I'm Dream!

smol bean: You guys don't have to worry about introductions

smol bean: I already know your names :)

humerus jokes: yo wait

humerus jokes: gonna ignore how creepy that sounds for a minute

humerus jokes: and ask another more important question

smol bean: Sure! Go ahead!

humerus jokes: you're dream?

smol bean: Yes!

humerus jokes: like

humerus jokes: the one that was

humerus jokes: ya know

edgy mcr: wtf

edgy mcr: oh wait

edgy mcr: yes i am also wondering this

smol bean: Uh?

smol bean: I'm afraid I'm a bit confused haha

humerus jokes: uh well

humerus jokes: the thing

humerus jokes: yesterday

smol bean: ?

smol bean: What thing?

pure and innocent?: UH GUYS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD ASK ABOUT THAT

edgy mcr: he's asking about the drama that went down yesterday

edgy mcr: you were involved in that right??

humerus jokes: yes that

smol bean: Oh, that

smol bean: My brother and I just...

smol bean: Have a past...

edgy mcr: what happened??

humerus jokes: ye like 

humerus jokes: you guys okay??

pure and innocent?: I really think you guys should stop!!

smol bean: I don't think Nightmare would appreciate me talking about that

edgy mcr: well he's not here now is he

humerus jokes: we're just worried

pure and innocent?: Guys really!

smol bean: I

smol bean: I can't

edgy mcr: oh come on

edgy mcr: please?

humerus jokes: it might make you feel better

pure and innocent?: STOP!!

smol bean: Please stop!

smol bean: I can't talk about it!

smol bean: Nightmare will be really really mad!

edgy mcr: who cares???

edgy mcr: what can he even do???

goopy boyo: More than you could possibly know.

humerus jokes: oh shit

edgy mcr: yeah right

edgy mcr: i doubt you can do anything "goopy boyo"

goopy boyo: Ah. Thank you for the reminder.

goopy boyo changed goopy boyo's name to Nightmare.

Nightmare: Now, I highly suggest you discontinue this line of speech before you regret it.

edgy mcr: nah

edgy mcr: i'm not afraid of you

Nightmare: Oh, but you will be.

smol bean: Nightmare wait

smol bean: Please don't do anything

smol bean: Please don't hurt him

Nightmare: Why the fuck should I listen to you?

smol bean: Please!

smol bean: Please don't

Nightmare: Give me one good reason.

smol bean: Don't you feel his energy

smol bean: It's exactly the kind of energy you need

smol bean: You can't lose that

Nightmare: He's just one version of an infinite number.

Nightmare: In other words, who cares.

smol bean: Please

smol bean: Please please don't

Nightmare: Good god. You're so annoying.

Nightmare: Fine.

Nightmare: I won't hurt him.

Nightmare: He's killing himself slowly anyways.

smol bean: Thank you

smol bean: Thank you so much

Nightmare: Whatever.

Nightmare: I've had enough of you fools.

Nightmare: Hopefully, you'll all lose your hands in some freak accident before I come back on.

Nightmare: That would certainly spare me some trouble.

4:43 pm

smol bean: I'm sorry

smol bean: He's like this because of me

smol bean: It's my fault

humerus jokes: i

humerus jokes: what happened to him

smol bean: I can't

edgy mcr: NO

edgy mcr: YOU CAN AND WILL

edgy mcr: I JUST GOT MY FUCKING LIFE THREATENED???

edgy mcr: I THINK YOU OWE IT TO ME

edgy mcr: SPILL

edgy mcr: NOW

smol bean: I'm sorry

smol bean: I'm so sorry

smol bean: I can't

smol bean: I can't

edgy mcr: FUCKING SPILL

smol bean: No no no no

smol bean: I can't

humerus jokes: red

humerus jokes: i think you should stop

humerus jokes: it just got really intense for everyone

edgy mcr: DON'T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO

edgy mcr: TELL ME DREAM

smol bean: I can't

smol bean: No no no

smol bean: I can't

smol bean: I'm sorry

smol bean: I can't

smol bean has left the chat.

edgy mcr: FUCKING COWARD

pure and innocent?: Red

pure and innocent?: You went too far

pure and innocent?: I think you owe Dream an apology when he comes back

edgy mcr: I'M SORRY???

edgy mcr: I OWE HIM AN APOLOGY???

edgy mcr: NO NO NO

edgy mcr: HE OWES ME A FUCKING APOLOGY

humerus jokes: blue's right

humerus jokes: you went way too far

edgy mcr: WHAT DO ANY OF YOU FUCKING KNOW

edgy mcr: YOU'RE ALL COMPLETE DUMBASSES

edgy mcr has left the chat.

pure and innocent?: Oh dear...

humerus jokes: yikes

pure and innocent?: Do you think he'll be alright?

humerus jokes: uh

humerus jokes: probably?

pure and innocent?: 'Probably'????

humerus jokes: uh

humerus jokes: yeah

humerus jokes: let's just

humerus jokes: give him some time to cool off

pure and innocent?: Alright then...

humerus jokes: where tf did ink go during all of that??

squiddy boi: right here bitch

humerus jokes: wtf

pure and innocent?: INK

pure and innocent?: WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING???

squiddy boi: i don't like conflict uwu

glitch bitch: now that's a fucking lie

squiddy boi: errooorrrrr

squiddy boi: how dare you call me out :(

glitch bitch: don't trust him

glitch bitch: he probably fucking planned this

glitch bitch: fucking asshat

humerus jokes: wait really??

squiddy boi: that's so mean!

squiddy boi: i would never do that :(

glitch bitch: l i a r

pure and innocent?: YIKES?

humerus jokes: so i take it you two know each other pretty well?

squiddy boi: yep

glitch bitch: unfortunately

squiddy boi: :(

glitch bitch: he's been a thorn in my side for a while now

squiddy boi: doesn't that make me a rose :)

glitch bitch: no

squiddy boi: :')

humerus jokes: lmao

pure and innocent?: THAT'S SO MEAN!

glitch bitch: pfft 

glitch bitch: like i care

squiddy boi: oh hush

squiddy boi: you know you love me

squiddy boi: everybody does uwu

glitch bitch: no

glitch bitch: no that is completely incorrect

pure and innocent?: I FOR ONE LOVE INK

glitch bitch: you don't count you love everyone

pure and innocent?: TOUCHE

squiddy boi: i love myself

glitch bitch: that doesn't count either

squiddy boi: it counts to meeeeeeeee

humerus jokes: do i count

glitch bitch: that depends on your opinion

humerus jokes: never mind

humerus jokes: i think i'd rather remain in the gray area

glitch bitch: good choice

squiddy boi: classic how could you

glitch bitch: shut up he's smart

squiddy boi: fite me

glitch bitch: so

glitch bitch: to recap

glitch bitch: blue and ink don't count

glitch bitch: classic is in the gray area

glitch bitch: and my opinion is the only one that matters

glitch bitch: i think we have our conclusion

squiddy boi: :(

squiddy boi: can we get an f in the chat for my self-esteem

humerus jokes: f

pure and innocent?: F

glitch bitch: f

glitch bitch: and good riddance

squiddy boi: :'(

7:06 pm

head dog salesman: do you ever think about how 7:06 is just 666 in time form

dusty trash: holy shit

cotton no eye joe: no and i didn't want to??

head dog salesman: i'm just saying

head dog salesman: like

head dog salesman: it kinda feels like satanists have had a lot of missed opportunities

dusty trash: we should start a trend

head dog salesman: yes

questionably sane: 7:06

questionably sane: who you sacrificin

dusty trash: lmaooooo

head dog salesman: incredible

cotton no eye joe: i'm surrounded by psychopaths

questionably sane: sociopaths actually

cotton no eye joe: what the actual fuck

questionably sane: what

dusty trash: how could you get that wrong?

head dog salesman: it's pretty obvious

cotton no eye joe: um???

cotton no eye joe: sorry??

head dog salesman: apology axecepted

questionably sane: lmaooooo

cotton no eye joe: ayyyy

dusty trash: holy fuck why

head dog salesman: shhh

head dog salesman: so like

head dog salesman: we missed the drama again

dusty trash: shit

dusty trash: that's the only thing that makes this chat interesting

cotton no eye joe: ngl

cotton no eye joe: i'm glad i always miss it

questionably sane: same

questionably sane: emotions make people irrational

questionably sane: and i'd much rather not be involved

dusty trash: ye but

dusty trash: that's what makes the chat interesting?

questionably sane: just go back and read

dusty trash: but

dusty trash: i want to create the drama

dusty trash: i want to make it worse

cotton no eye joe: why the fuck

dusty trash: it's fun

head dog salesman: and if a fight starts

head dog salesman: and someone dies

head dog salesman: i get head dogs

cotton no eye joe: you're digusting

head dog salesman: thank you i'm aware

questionably sane: if you want to make drama

questionably sane: then make drama

questionably sane: seems pretty simple

dusty trash: how??

head dog salesman: can't you just like

head dog salesman: leave a fight starting message

head dog salesman: and then clear your schedule

head dog salesman: and wait for drama to start

head dog salesman: then just jump right in

questionably sane: ^^^

dusty trash: hmm

dusty trash: you know

dusty trash: that could actually work

head dog salesman: ik

cotton no eye joe: you guys are sadistic

dusty trash: it's not my fault

head dog salesman: hey i just like tea

questionably sane: i don't even want to be involved

cotton no eye joe: whatever

cotton no eye joe: it's still disgusting

head dog salesman: aww

head dog salesman: i'm sorry

head dog salesman: does this bring up bad memories, geno?

cotton no eye joe: shut up

questionably sane: stop

questionably sane: you're making drama

questionably sane: and i don't want to be involved

dusty trash: then leave

questionably sane: ugh lame

questionably sane: bye

dusty trash: where were we

cotton no eye joe: don't even try

cotton no eye joe: i'm leaving too

dusty trash: running from a fight?

dusty trash: isn't that how you got your brother killed?

cotton no eye joe: YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT

dusty trash: but it's true isn't it?

dusty trash: you just watched as he was killed

dusty trash: you just watched as everyone was killed

cotton no eye joe: ...

cotton no eye joe: no yeah

cotton no eye joe: you're right

cotton no eye joe: but i'm trying to fix it

dusty trash: oh come on

dusty trash: you don't really think that your efforts will amount to anything

dusty trash: do you?

dusty trash: i mean

dusty trash: they're already dead

cotton no eye joe: so what

cotton no eye joe: that doesn't mean i can't fix it

dusty trash: you can't fix it

dusty trash: no one can bring the dead back to life

cotton no eye joe: i

dusty trash: don't try to say you can

dusty trash: you know it's true

cotton no eye joe: fuck you

cotton no eye joe: i know what i'm doing

dusty trash: do you now?

cotton no eye joe: yes.

dusty trash: we'll see

cotton no eye joe: you know what?

cotton no eye joe: i'm wasting time here

cotton no eye joe: this is just a distraction

cotton no eye joe: an idiotic, useless distraction

cotton no eye joe has left the chat.

head dog salesman: ding ding ding

head dog salesman: and we have a new record!

head dog salesman: three people leaving the chat in one day

head dog salesman: frankly i'm impressed

dusty trash: me too man

dusty trash: and i finally got involved with some drama too

head dog salesman: yep

dusty trash: it's been a good day

head dog salesman: yes it has

9:57 pm

squiddy boi: gosh you guys

squiddy boi: stop making people leave

squiddy boi: it's just more work for me later

glitch bitch: stfu

glitch bitch: i know you're enjoying this

squiddy boi: you keep saying that

glitch bitch: well i'm not wrong

glitch bitch: am i

12:01 am

squiddy boi: sorry what

squiddy boi: i only speak

squiddy boi: me hoy minoy

glitch bitch: fuck you

glitch bitch: go to sleep

Chapter Text

4:46 am

squiddy boi added smol bean, edgy mcr, cotton no eye joe, radical rainbow, oof machine, sinner, and kinda possessed tbh to the chat.

squiddy boi: welcome back

squiddy boi: and to those of you who are new

squiddy boi: welcome :D

squiddy boi: and please introduce yourself when you get here

squiddy boi: because everyone is clueless lol

squiddy boi: even some of you new guys

squiddy boi: but it's okay

squiddy boi: inky still loves you uwu

5:01 am

oof machine: oh look

oof machine: a reason not to work

oof machine: this is great

oof machine: i know all of you immortals probably know who i am

oof machine: so i'll just address the mortals here

oof machine: wassup

oof machine: i'm reaper sans

oof machine: you can call me death

oof machine: with me in this chat

oof machine: things'll be killer

5:32 am

cotton no eye joe: IT'S FUCKING YOU

cotton no eye joe: FIRST I'M PUT BACK HERE

cotton no eye joe: AND NOW DEATH'S HERE TOO

oof machine: well well

oof machine: if it isn't my favorite anomaly

cotton no eye joe: SCREW YOU

cotton no eye joe: YOU TRIED TO KILL ME

oof machine: ah

oof machine: that's not quite true

oof machine: you're already dead

oof machine: i was just trying to finish the job

cotton no eye joe: WELL

cotton no eye joe: CAN U DON'T???

oof machine: meh

oof machine: i already tried once

oof machine: no use in doing it again

cotton no eye joe: oh thank fuck

oof machine: you feeling better after your tantrum little baby?

cotton no eye joe: don't fucking mock me

cotton no eye joe: i'll whoop your ass

radical rainbow: woah dudes!!

radical rainbow: you're using some all up n unclean language here!

cotton no eye joe: whom the funk?

glitch stitch: NO

cotton no eye joe: wait what the hello?

glitch stitch: N O

radical rainbow: i'm ya radical broski fresh!!

radical rainbow: i see we've got sum language probs

glitch stitch: INK WHY

radical rainbow: that's all up alright my rad brotatos

radical rainbow: i can help you cleanse those impure vibes

cotton no eye joe: what the funk

glitch stitch: PARASITE

glitch stitch: YOU'RE A FUNKING PARASITE

radical rainbow: sticks n stones error bro

radical rainbow: sticks n stones

glitch stitch: GOD

glitch stitch: YOU'RE HORRIFYING

glitch stitch: DIE

oof machine: i'm afraid he can't do that lmao

oof machine: he seems pretty untouchable

cotton no eye joe: stfu

cotton no eye joe: oh nice i can abbreviate it

radical rainbow: you're on thin ice broski

cotton no eye joe: i am afraid

oof machine: lmao

oof machine: don't worry

oof machine: he can't hurt you

cotton no eye joe: that's a relief

oof machine: well

oof machine: not any worse than you already are that is

cotton no eye joe: low funking blow

glitch bitch: huh

glitch bitch: death is actually tolerable

oof machine: wow

oof machine: never heard that before

cotton no eye joe: that's probably for a reason

oof machine: uhm

oof machine: i'll have you know

oof machine: there's a selective few out there

oof machine: who love me to death

cotton no eye joe: ayyyyy

cotton no eye joe: but uh

cotton no eye joe: that's not funking right

oof machine: suits me just fine

cotton no eye joe: that says literally nothing

oof machine: fair

squiddy boi: oh ship whaddup

squiddy boi: i see that my boi fresh has arrived

radical rainbow: ayyy inkkk mah broskiiiii

squiddy boi: wassuppppp

glitch stitch: INK WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS

glitch stitch: DIDN'T WE HAVE ENOUGH IDIOTS HERE ALREADY

cotton no eye joe: hey

oof machine: no u

radical rainbow: that's all up n rude

squiddy boi: pffft

squiddy boi: error

squiddy boi: your nickname

squiddy boi: i'm gonna cry

squiddy boi: holy funk

glitch stitch: SHUT UP RADHOLE

squiddy boi: PFFFT

glitch stitch: FIGHT ME

squiddy boi: cash me outside

squiddy boi: how bout dat

cotton no eye joe: lmaooo

radical rainbow: yooo that'd be radical dudesss

oof machine: just please don't kill anyone in the process

glitch stitch: OUTERTALE

glitch stitch: 52ND PACIFIST TIMELINE

glitch stitch: LET'S GO

squiddy boi: see you there ;)

radical rainbow: makin my way downtown bros

radical rainbow: see ya there

oof machine: omw

cotton no eye joe: WAIT WHAT

cotton no eye joe: I CAN'T FUCKING GO

cotton no eye joe: DEATH 

cotton no eye joe: YOU BETTER FUCKING FILM IT

7:33 am

kinda possessed tbh: wtf just happened

kinda possessed tbh: meh

kinda possessed tbh: whatever idc

humerus jokes: whomst'd've'ly'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es?

kinda possessed tbh: oh right

kinda possessed tbh: introduction

kinda possessed tbh: i'm cross

humerus jokes: yeet nice

humerus jokes: i'm classic

humerus jokes: apparently

kinda possessed tbh: yea i'm aware

humerus jokes: do i wanna know?

kinda possessed tbh: no

humerus jokes: k cool

sinner: who the fuck

sinner: i fucking said

sinner: to lose my number 

sinner: after we were done

humerus jokes: what

kinda possessed tbh: what

sinner: ?

sinner: oH

sinner: lmao nevermind

sinner: thought you were someone else

sinner: my bad <3

kinda possessed tbh: oh lord

sinner: there sure are a lot of people in this chat

humerus jokes: yeah?

sinner: you guys still all have to pay full price ofc

humerus jokes: what

kinda possessed tbh: NOT THAT KINDA CHAT

sinner: ??

sinner: then why the fuck am i here?

humerus jokes: fucking ink

sinner: i'm very confused

sinner: who the hell are you guys??

humerus jokes: classic

kinda possessed tbh: cross

sinner: uh

sinner: i see

sinner: interesting names

humerus jokes: and you are?

sinner: sans

humerus jokes: oh fuck

humerus jokes: ofc you don't know

humerus jokes: we're all sans here lmao

kinda possessed tbh: ya

sinner: wha

squiddy boi: hiya!!!

squiddy boi: i see lust has arrived

kinda possessed tbh: uhm yep

humerus jokes: what

sinner: who now?

squiddy boi: ya know

squiddy boi: lust~

sinner: huh?

humerus jokes: ink

humerus jokes: wtf

squiddy boi: LuSt

sinner: i

humerus jokes: i'm very uncomfortable

kinda possessed tbh: underlust au

kinda possessed tbh: sans' nickname is lust

humerus jokes: under what

squiddy boi: l u s t

sinner: au?

squiddy boi: heck yeaaaa

squiddy boi: it's the multiverse boiiiii

sinner: i thought that was just theoretical????

squiddy boi: nahhh

squiddy boi: totally real and factual

sinner: if this is a prank it isn't funny

humerus jokes: god i wish it were a prank

squiddy boi: no you don't

squiddy boi: that would mean you'd have never gotten to meet me :)

humerus jokes: i

humerus jokes: i'm not sure how you want me to respond to that

squiddy boi: everyone's so mean to me :(

kinda possessed tbh: well you're an ass soooo

squiddy boi: no u

sinner: pfft

humerus jokes: lmaooooo

kinda possessed tbh: you immature little shit

squiddy boi: n o  u

humerus jokes: LMAOOOO

sinner: okay so wait

sinner: there's actually a multiverse

sinner: and all of you are alternate versions of me??

squiddy boi: ye

humerus jokes: ya

kinda possessed tbh: basically

sinner: huh

sinner: that's interesting

squiddy boi: right?

kinda possessed tbh: i guess

humerus jokes: that's one way of putting it

sinner: so

sinner: any of you guys ever wonder how good you are at fucking

humerus jokes: bye

kinda possessed tbh: haha nope

squiddy boi: lmaoo

squiddy boi: classic lust

sinner: you guys are lame

9:19 pm

edgy mcr: ugh

edgy mcr: back here i see

edgy mcr: and there are more idiots now too

oof machine: i'm mildly offended

edgy mcr: who tf are you??

oof machine: death lol

edgy mcr: wtf

oof machine: what

edgy mcr: your name is death

edgy mcr: do you like

edgy mcr: kill people?

oof machine: i mean

oof machine: that's kinda my job

questionably sane: oh shit waddup

questionably sane: idk what we're talking about

questionably sane: all i read was kill

questionably sane: and i'm interested

dusty garbage: yes

dusty garbage: i too am interested

edgy mcr: you guys are fucked up

questionably sane: yes

dusty garbage: thank you :)

oof machine: oh yoooo

oof machine: i always have to visit your au's

oof machine: thanks for that

questionably sane: oh no problem at all

dusty garbage: it's my pleasure

edgy mcr: wtf

dusty garbage: don't act all high and mighty

dusty garbage: people die in your au all the time

edgy mcr: touche

questionably sane: lmao

oof machine: lovely

dusty garbage: absolutely

10:02 am

squiddy boi: guys

squiddy boi: my plant fucking died

squiddy boi: he was so young

glitch bitch: ink

glitch bitch: you bigoted motherfucker

glitch bitch: how dare you assume their gender

squiddy boi: SHUT UP

squiddy boi: I'M FUCKING MOURNING

glitch bitch: how the fuck did you even kill it

squiddy boi: well

squiddy boi: the thing is

squiddy boi: it turns out

squiddy boi: that

squiddy boi: as a matter of fact

glitch bitch: spit it out

squiddy boi: plants do not enjoy orange soda

glitch bitch: you

glitch bitch: you gave your plant orange soda

squiddy boi: yes

glitch bitch: dumbass

squiddy boi: he was thirsty :(

glitch bitch: d u m b a s s

squiddy boi: how was i supposed to know???

glitch bitch: common fucking sense

squiddy boi: my common sense does not tell me that sorta stuff

glitch bitch: that's because you don't have any common sense

squiddy boi: g a s p

squiddy boi: so not true

glitch bitch: are you sure?

squiddy boi: no

1:58 pm

head dog salesman: hit or miss

cotton no eye joe: i guess they never miss

pure and innocent?: HUH

humerus jokes: you got a boyfriend

kinda possessed tbh: i bet he doesn't

sinner: kiss ya~

edgy mcr: begone t h o t

squiddy boi: i'M gAy

glitch bitch: i came out to have a good time

glitch bitch: and i'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

dusty garbage: let me see what you have!

questionably sane: a k n i f e

dusty garbage: nO

cotton no eye joe: i hAvE cRiPpLiNg DePrEsSiOn

pure and innocent?: FRE SHA VOCA DO

humerus jokes: elon muskrat

edgy mcr: what are thooooose

sinner: they are my crocks

kinda possessed tbh: never gonna give you up

glitch bitch: i'm lesbian

squiddy boi: i thought you were american

pure and innocent?: HURRICANE KATRINA?

pure and innocent?: MORE LIKE HURRICANE TORTILA

dusty garbage: can you stop

dusty garbage: can you stop it

edgy mcr: stop

humerus jokes: just collaborate

dusty garbage: AND LISTEN

kinda possessed tbh: two bros

sinner: chillin in a hot tub

squiddy boi: five feet apart

cotton no eye joe: cuz they're not gay

Nightmare: If you don't stop right now, I will murder you all.

humerus jokes: aight

edgy mcr: yep

kinda possessed tbh: k

glitch bitch: sure

dusty garbage: yes

cotton no eye joe: will do

questionably sane: for sure

squiddy boi: and i oop-

3:27 pm

sinner: what do you do if you drop your phone in the toilet

sinner: time sensitive question

head dog salesman: uh?

questionably sane: put it in rice

dusty garbage: that doesn't fucking work

questionably sane: welp

sinner: i really need to know

sinner: like now

head dog salesman: buy a new phone

questionably sane: ^

dusty garbage: ya do that

sinner: wow thanks!

sinner: that's not helpful at all!

dusty garbage: well 

dusty garbage: how the fuck are you still texting on it

head dog salesman: yes

head dog salesman: please do explain

sinner: it's the new phone

sinner: ya know

sinner: the one that can be underwater

sinner: wait

head dog salesman: rip

questionably sane: oof

dusty garbage: yikes

sinner: i'm just

sinner: gonna go

questionably sane: f

head dog salesman: f

dusty garbage: f

7:13 pm

pure and innocent?: I JUST LIT MY KITCHEN

pure and innocent?: ON F I R E

kinda possessed tbh: nice

edgy mcr: good job

radical rainbow: haha lit

pure and innocent?: NOT REALLY??

radical rainbow: did ya put it out broski??

pure and innocent?: OF COURSE!

radical rainbow: did anythin important get burned?

pure and innocent?: NO JUST A HOUSE PLANT

squiddy boi: N O

kinda possessed tbh: pfffft

pure and innocent?: ?

squiddy boi: THE CARNAGE

squiddy boi: SO MUCH DEATH AND DESTRUCTION

oof machine: death?

glitch stitch: destruction?

squiddy boi: THE POOR HOUSE PLANTS

pure and innocent?: IS HE OKAY?

kinda possessed tbh: no

glitch stitch: never

squiddy boi: REEEEEE

radical rainbow: dude

radical rainbow: it's just a plant yo

squiddy boi: HE WAS IMPORTANT TO MEEEEE

glitch stitch: god

glitch stitch: you're so dramatic

oof machine: fun fact

oof machine: you kill thousands of blades of grass

oof machine: every time you take a walk

glitch stitch: nice

kinda possessed tbh: lmao cool

pure and innocent?: THAT IS NOT A FUN FACT

radical rainbow: yo we're all rad plant murderers

squiddy boi: it's a good thing i never walk :D

10:46 pm

squiddy boi: dreammmmm

squiddy boi: stop being lameeee

squiddy boi: come backkkkk

squiddy boi: pleaseeeeeee

squiddy boi: you know you can't hide from it forever

squiddy boi: it always finds you

squiddy boi: uwu

squiddy boi: anyways

squiddy boi: have a nice rest of the day :D

Chapter Text

12:13 am

glitch bitch: ink

glitch bitch: what the fuck are you doing

glitch bitch: i can tell that it's not good

glitch bitch: and i don't want any part in it

glitch bitch: please tell me that i'm wrong

glitch bitch: or i'm leaving

3:33 am

squiddy boi: that's

squiddy boi: none of your goddamn business :)

squiddy boi: plus you know you can't just leave!

squiddy boi: if it were that simple then no one would be here in the first place

squiddy boi: just be patient

squiddy boi: everything will make sense eventually

glitch bitch: wait what does that mean

glitch bitch: ink you better get your ass back here and tell me

glitch bitch: ink i swear to god

4:47 am

sinner: i didn't want to ramble about this at all

sinner: especially not after uh whatever happened up there

sinner: but i've been up all night and i can't stop thinking about it

sinner: you're all from different universes

sinner: the multiverse is real

sinner: there's so many different versions of myself out there

sinner: you guys are only a select few

sinner: it's absolutely infinite

sinner: i could have been made in any universe

sinner: i could have been anyone

sinner: yet i just had to be made in this one

sinner: and be made as myself

sinner: in this fucking useless universe

sinner: pffft

sinner: god i'm going to regret this in the morning

sinner: i'm soooo drunk tho

sinner: so i don't regret it yet

sinner: hehe i'm gonna have one hell of a hangover ;P

sinner: gnnnnnnnn

5:01 am

dusty trash: why does everyone stay up 

dusty trash: and just have life-changing revelations

dusty trash: whenever i stay up

dusty trash: i just think about like how plants feel pain

dusty trash: and how that invalidates vegans

head dog salesman: bro holy shit

head dog salesman: i never thought about that

dusty trash: right??

dusty trash: like it's crazy

head dog salesman: do you think they know??

dusty trash: probably not?

dusty trash: if they did, then they wouldn't eat anything

head dog salesman: okay but that'd be kinda funny-

dusty trash: dude that's horrible

head dog salesman: ikr

dusty trash: i'm so proud

head dog salesman: thanks bb

dusty trash: haha gay

head dog salesman: no u

dusty trash: god i hate you

head dog salesman: don't worry the feeling's mutual

dusty trash: hot

head dog salesman: very

7:34 am:

pure and innocent?: GOLLY YOU GUYS NEED TO GO TO BED EARLIER

pure and innocent?: IT'S NOT HEALTHY TO BE UP THAT LATE!

smol bean: I agree!

smol bean: An irregular sleep schedule can lead to several mental health issues!

pure and innocent?: VERY TRUE OTHER ME!

edgy mcr: fuck you i'm still awake and i'll suffer if i want to

smol bean: Oh my!

smol bean: Red that's a terrible thing to do to yourself!

pure and innocent?: UH YES PLEASE SLEEP

edgy mcr: fuck sleep

edgy mcr: i don't need sleep

edgy mcr: it's summertimeeeee

pure and innocent?: RED!!

edgy mcr: awww she caught me

pure and innocent?: NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE QUOTING VINES

edgy mcr: it's always time to quote vines

pure and innocent?: TOUCHE

smol bean: Vines are those short videos right?

edgy mcr: pffft

pure and innocent?: YEP!

edgy mcr: boomer

smol bean: I'm not a boomer!

smol bean: I was born far before they were!

pure and innocent?: MEGA BOOMER

smol bean: Oh my god

edgy mcr: PFFT

smol bean: Just because I'm a little older than you doesn't mean I'm any different!

edgy mcr: that's literally exactly what it means

pure and innocent?: DREAM I-

smol bean: ?

pure and innocent?: THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING A PEDOPHILE WOULD SAY...

edgy mcr: PFFT HOLY SHIT

smol bean: wAIT THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT

smol bean: I'M NOT A PEDOPHILE I SWEAR!

smol bean: I'M NOT EVEN INTERESTED IN ROMANCE!!

edgy mcr: shh dream it's okay

edgy mcr: no matter what you say, no one will believe you

pure and innocent?: HEY! I BELIEVE HIM!

smol bean: Red, I swear I'm not a pedophile!

edgy mcr: i hate you

edgy mcr: you know that right?

smol bean: Yeah...

smol bean: I suppose I deserve it after what happened before

edgy mcr: i could have died

smol bean: I know

edgy mcr: and you still won't tell me anything

smol bean: I can't

edgy mcr: so you keep saying

smol bean: I promise I'm not lying

edgy mcr: i don't particularly care

smol bean: How can I make it up to you?

edgy mcr: tell me

smol bean: I can do anything other than that

edgy mcr: then you'll never make it up to me

smol bean: ...

smol bean: I suppose not...

pure and innocent?: That seems a bit harsh

edgy mcr: i don't give a shit what you think

pure and innocent?: Red please

edgy mcr: why don't you just butt out?

edgy mcr: it's none of your business after all

pure and innocent?: Dream is my friend!

edgy mcr: so what?

pure and innocent?: So I'm going to defend him!

smol bean: Blue, it's fine

edgy mcr: yeah blue listen to your friend

pure and innocent?: Excuse me?

pure and innocent?: I believe that comment was directed towards me

pure and innocent?: Your input is entirely unnecessary

edgy mcr: wait what

pure and innocent?: You can read can't you?

edgy mcr: w h a t

smol bean: Calm down! It's okay!

pure and innocent?: I know! I'm all good :)

edgy mcr: i'm just

edgy mcr: gonna go

pure and innocent?: If you think that's what's best!

smol bean: Bye...

10:22 am

oof machine: holy shit

oof machine: i never knew that he had that in him

oof machine: i mean it's not like i know him well or anything but wow

humerus jokes: i'm with you dude

humerus jokes: he's technically us?

humerus jokes: so it makes some sense but like

oof machine: wow

humerus jokes: exactly

oof machine: i'm kind of proud?

humerus jokes: me too?

humerus jokes: it's like my child has cursed for the first time or smth

oof machine: that's oddly specific but i relate

radical rainbow: yikes bros

radical rainbow: these vibes are all up n rancid

humerus jokes: i am also rancid

oof machine: yes, me too

radical rainbow: that's pretty negative broskis

humerus jokes: perhaps

oof machine: i'm literally death-

radical rainbow: got me there bros

cotton no eye joe: help i'm about to have a stroke

humerus jokes: not possible you have no brain

cotton no eye joe: i-

cotton no eye joe: AHAHAHAHAHA

cotton no eye joe: would you shut up and listen??

oof machine: yikes someone is in a bad mood

cotton no eye joe: oh my god why did i think coming here would help

humerus jokes: shhhhh it's okay

humerus jokes: just talk to yourselves and tell us what's wrong

cotton no eye joe: fuck you bye

oof machine: mission failed

oof machine: we'll get em next time

1:23 pm

sinner: oh my godddddd

sinner: i feel so fucking nauseous

sinner: papyrus was rightttt

sinner: more than five drinks is not good for me

kinda possessed tbh: pfft

kinda possessed tbh: and how many did you have?

sinner: fifteen

kinda possessed tbh: PFFT

sinner: dON'T LAUGH I'M IN PAIN

kinda possessed tbh: and whose fault is that?

sinner: ...

sinner: okay mine but still

kinda possessed tbh: exactly

sinner: hoe i live in a universe where all we do is fuck

sinner: you'd drink too

kinda possessed tbh: got me there

questionably sane: just leave

sinner: would if i could

questionably sane: what's stopping you?

sinner: my brother seems to like it here

sinner: i can't leave him

questionably sane: why not?

kinda possessed tbh: oh shut up killer that's a valid thing

questionably sane: you literally killed your brother you have no right to speak

kinda possessed tbh: haha wow! fuck you too!

sinner: what the fuck

kinda possessed tbh: don't ask

kinda possessed tbh: it was an accident

kinda possessed tbh: he tried to hurt me first

questionably sane: whatever helps you sleep at night

kinda possessed tbh: can you fuck off already??

questionably sane: sure whatever

kinda possessed tbh: thank you

sinner: i'm slowly beginning to appreciate my situation a bit more

kinda possessed tbh: yayyy soooo glad i could help

sinner: i didn't mean that in an offensive way or anything

kinda possessed tbh: yeah yeah i know

sinner: well i'm going to go drink away my hangover

kinda possessed tbh: excellent plan

sinner: i know

sinner: cya

kinda possessed tbh: bye

5:17 pm

squiddy boi: wow i've been gone for over 12 hours

squiddy boi: wack

smol bean: I think you have some explaining to do

squiddy boi: hmmmmmm

squiddy boi: idk sounds boring

glitch bitch: no no you definitely have to explain

smol bean: Please Ink

squiddy boi: but that will spoil all the fun :(

Nightmare: Ink.

Nightmare: Do you know what you're doing?

squiddy boi: i'm well aware

smol bean: You need to stop

squiddy boi: what for?

glitch bitch: for everyone's sanity?

smol bean: Because you're going to hurt people

Nightmare: Because I said so.

squiddy boi: hmmm

squiddy boi: none of those reasons appeal to me

glitch bitch: ink you're going to drive everyone here mad

Nightmare: As much as I hate to agree with a maggot like Error, he's right.

glitch bitch: exactly

glitch bitch: wait what

squiddy boi: oh come onnnnnn

squiddy boi: you're all basically mad already

squiddy boi: what does it matter if i have a little fun

smol bean: It matters because you're hurting people!!

Nightmare: Agreed.

squiddy boi: you should be on my side nightmare

squiddy boi: there's negative energy :)

Nightmare: I don't need your help to get it, though.

Nightmare: In fact, I don't want anything you're involved with.

Nightmare: Why would you do something like this?

Nightmare: Because I know it's not for me.

squiddy boi: boooo you're lameeeee

glitch bitch: is this a joke to you?

glitch bitch: like some sort of game?

squiddy boi: that's exactly what it is!

glitch bitch: but why

squiddy boi: we have to keep the creators happy somehow!

squiddy boi: what better way than this??

squiddy boi: it's got everything they love!

squiddy boi: well except ship fuel...

squiddy boi: hey error wanna kiss

glitch bitch: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK NO

squiddy boi: ah damn

squiddy boi: guess they'll have to live without that one for now

smol bean: Ink, please!

smol bean: This is so unhealthy on so many levels!

smol bean: The toxicity that something like this creates is horrible!

squiddy boi: i know!

squiddy boi: isn't it great??

smol bean: No!

squiddy boi: ugh

squiddy boi: boo

squiddy boi: lame

squiddy boi: you're all so smallminded smh

Nightmare: Smallminded?

Nightmare: That's not the word I would use.

squiddy boi: then what would you use??

Nightmare: Intelligent.

squiddy boi: rude

glitch bitch: you've done some weird shit before ink

glitch bitch: but this is next level

squiddy boi: mehhhhh idk

squiddy boi: that one time when i shoved a cucumber up farm's ass was pretty weird

Nightmare: What.

glitch bitch: we agreed to never speak of that again

squiddy boi: oh did we?

squiddy boi: must have slipped my mind

Nightmare: Is that your pathetic excuse for everything?

smol bean: I have to agree Ink...

smol bean: You say that a lot...

squiddy boi: do i?

squiddy boi: hmm

squiddy boi: i guess i must have forgotten

glitch bitch: you're unbearable

Nightmare: Seconded.

smol bean: I don't know if I'd say that...

squiddy boi: anything else you needed to say to me?

squiddy boi: because i really want a spider donut right now

squiddy boi: and my patience is wearing thin

Nightmare: Every conversation with you is completely pointless.

Nightmare: I'm not even sure why I tried.

squiddy boi: is that a no?

smol bean: Please listen to reasoning Ink

squiddy boi: shoot

smol bean: Hurting people is wrong!

squiddy boi: so you keep saying

smol bean: What??

smol bean: Ink that means you shouldn't do it!

squiddy boi: pfft it's not like i'm directly doing it!

squiddy boi: they're doing it to themselves

squiddy boi: i just provided the perfect environment

smol bean: Complacency is just as bad as doing it yourself!

squiddy boi: not in a legal court of law ;)

glitch bitch: jesus christ

glitch bitch: and people call me insane

squiddy boi: hey :(

squiddy boi: i'm not insane

glitch bitch: now that's just a blatant lie

squiddy boi: you're so mean to me >:(

squiddy boi: i'm sad now

squiddy boi: i'm going to eat away my feelings with a spider donut

glitch bitch: yOU DON'T EVEN FEEL

squiddy boi: byeeeeeeeeee :)

smol bean: ...

smol bean: What do we do now?

glitch bitch: i guess we wait

smol bean: This is really bad

glitch bitch: yeah no kidding

7:57 pm

pure and innocent?: I'm not usually one to curse but...

pure and innocent?: What the fuck