Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You were grateful that the Yagami's had let you spend the night in their home. You had been spending late nights at school for study reasons, which your parents were not the greatest fans of, but you preferred to study at school rather than home, and your grades were only getting higher and higher for doing so. It had become routine that Light would see you walk home when he looked out his window when he saw that this had become an almost daily activity, he eventually asked if you wanted to stay in the guest room in his home to save you the long walk to the train station. Of course, you had accepted, how could you not, he was Light Yagami asking you to stay over. Sure, it was school related, but your seventeen-year-old brain found it a good enough reason to get excited. The room was simple, a bed with a desk (that you assumed Light had made sure to have in the room for you) along with a chest of drawers.

During your senior year, it had become a routine to stay there, during that year you had started to feel as though you were indeed part of their family. Light’s mother being so welcoming only added to the feeling. It had come to the point where you were invested in his family’s day-to-day lives and had started to leave stuff in what was now referred to as ‘your room’.   You had grown to love his family, there were times where they had felt like your family more than the pair that had raised you in your home. Light’s mother had even remembered your birthday every year and had always gotten you a gift, you treasured all of them. One, in particular, you had fallen in love with was a watch. Tears had welled up in your eyes when you opened the box, it was one of the greatest gifts you had ever received, you had hugged his mother tight thanking her while she had just laughed assuring you that it was all right. It was a simple design that while showing the time also showed the date, it had been so useful for you and you always made sure to protect it with your life and wear it every day. 

Even if it had started with being a nice gesture to do with school, there was no denying that it was far more than that now. Especially since even during holidays you would stay there with them for the majority of the time. The Yagami’s would invite you to family dinners and all things of that sort. Of course, however, there were negatives about living with the Yagami’s and that was Light. You had had a crush on him since your junior year, and now that you basically lived with him, for the most part, you felt as though he saw you more like a sister or friend more than a romantic partner. Then again, you weren’t sure that Light was even interested in having a romantic partner, he was so focused on his studies, and so many girls at your school swooned over Light. Not to your surprise.

You sat hunched over your desk at the Yagami’s home, your home. You had been working almost three hours on your essay, it seemed the more time you spent on it the more you noticed what was wrong with it. Why couldn’t you write something without second-guessing yourself? You let out a frustrated sigh before you leaned back in your chair, stretching your arms above your head until you heard the satisfying pop in your back. Even that didn’t seem to be able to wind you down. You stood up from your seat and stretched more before you walked around your room. You hated being at your desk for too long, it had tendencies to make you feel insane.

“Light, (Y/N), dinner will be soon,” you heard Light’s mother call from downstairs.

“We’ll be right down!” You heard Light call out from his room which had only made you jump slightly. It didn’t make sense to act this way about his voice, but you always seemed to get in an odd state around him. Even if you had been living with him for this long.

You glanced at yourself in the mirror, you looked tired. Very Tired. Staying up late the night before, but you knew it would be worth it. When the time comes that you would get to see your results from the nation-wide exams, all the studying late nights and the plan cancelling would be worth it. You knew you would never compare to Light and his genius, you had learned a long time ago that anything of that nature was futile. Yet his mother always seemed proud of anything you showed her. Your marks weren’t horrid, they just weren’t first place. You stretched one last time before you left your room, to your surprise, before Light. He must have been finishing up his readings. 

You made your way to the dining room, Sayu was already sat at the table, a huge grin on her face when she saw you walk down, “There you are (Y/N), hey since you’re super great could you grab me a book from the library tomorrow?”

“Trying to butter me up?” You smirked before you sat down next to her.

She only giggled, “It works though!”

“Alright, what’d you want?”

“Kokoro! You seemed pretty into it so I wanted to try.”

You gave a small shrug, “Well I’m honoured. I’ll grab it tomorrow okay?”

“Thank you!”

Light’s voice cut you off from your thoughts when he entered the kitchen, “Sayu are you bribing (Y/N) again? Remember she’s got her final exams coming up.” His voice was calm and smooth, while he pulled out his chair across from you, he sat down his eyes shut slightly as though he was thinking for a moment, before he looked back up at you, “you’re allowed to say no to her you understand?”

You laughed slightly, “I could never say no to Sayu, she’s too sweet.”

“Or a brat.” He shrugged slightly.

“Hey, that’s not nice!” Sayu yelled at him.

Chapter Text

“(Y/N) DON’T YOU DARE STEAL THE SHOWER I WANT IT NOW!” Sayu’s screams echoed throughout the house and you only giggled while you ran upstairs to grab your towel. It was a common activity between the two of you. It seemed so typical of people who were sisters – at least that how you viewed Sayu – to fight over such things. She would be adamant about getting in the bathroom before you and taking far too long to get out, at times taking over an hour. You remembered once remarking what on earth could take her an hour. You couldn’t contain your laughter the day you had gotten into the shower first and played your music loud to drown out Sayu’s yells in protest. But of course, every other part of the say the two of you were as thick as thieves.

You opened up your bedroom door and looked for your toiletry bag and towel. There was no way you’d let Sayu beat you today, especially since you were planning on going out and you intended to look your best. Once you had your things you ran out of your room, not focusing on anything around you, stifling laughter under her breath.

 Crash!

You felt your body crashed into a mass. You let out an ‘oof’ when you made contact, “Sayu, it’s my turn okay – oh Light, I’m so sorry, I uh-” your eyes widened when you saw that you had in fact not bumped into the younger girl and was, in fact, the boy you had admired for far too long.

A small smirk spread across his features, “No worries, might want to be quick, you don’t want Sayu to beat you to it.” He brushed past you to get into his room, “you’re lucky you didn’t run out in a towel, that might have been . . . interesting.” He chuckled before closing his door. You felt your cheeks flush and you covered your face while you ran to the bathroom, not wanting Sayu to see you as the blushing mess you were.

What did that comment even mean?! Was he making fun of me?

The moment you had turned on the shower you could hear Sayu shouting out you and banging on the door. You drowned out her voice when you entered the shower. A small hope inside of you that you would be able to wash that interaction with Light off from you. You were so embarrassed. He must have thought you were an idiot. Why did you care so much? You had been living with him and his family for a long time, yet you were always worried that you would do something stupid that would make him judge you.

 You washed your (H/C) hair trying to take your mind of the older Yagami sibling and tried to think about what you would wear or how to do your hair. You used to think yourself as typical for ‘taking part’ in girlish behaviours but the older you grew the more you cared less about how you behaved. You had a couple of outfits lined up but you thought the main outfit out down to the shoes. A fleeting thought passed through your mind on what Light would think about your outfit. Light wasn’t known for being too revealing about his feelings towards women, and you knew that you would be no exception.

***

You dried your hair, soft music playing in the background while you made your way to your wardrobe. You threw your towel on your desk chair before you picked out the outfit you wanted. A simple outfit that was both cute but also sophisticated. It was a style you had started to lean towards as you got older. Although no one ever seemed to notice your fashion sense. Your parents never truly saw you. They saw your report card and kept in eye on what you wanted to with your future. Light’s mother (Auntie as you had come to call her) seemed to notice you. You had been flustered when she first complimented a dress you had worn around the house when you had taken a break from study. It was so foreign to you.

Once dressed you sat in front of your mirror to do your hair and makeup. Sayu would usually watch in somewhat fascination over it. Wanting you to do her makeup too. And sometimes you would, a little bit of lipstick that fit her complexion well. It had crossed your mind many times that Sayu liked the prospect of having s big sister. Even if you couldn’t compete with her bond with Light, you knew there were some things she would always go to you for first.

You brushed yourself off before grabbing your handbag and wallet, you weren’t too sure what you would do today, but you knew you needed the study break, “Auntie I’m heading out I’ll be back later. I’ll get your book today too Sayu!”

You heard the calls of goodbye while you left and shut the door behind you. You glanced down at yourself once more before you started to head out. You were excited about the prospect of going to a café nearby and relaxing there with a good book, maybe you would do some sketches. The sound of your heels clicking on the footpath rang out clearly. You had always enjoyed that sound. Something about it made you feel as though you perhaps came off as sophisticated, it reminded you of the sound of your teachers’ footsteps throughout the school halls. It was relaxing in a way. You buried your hands in your coat pockets and continued to the library, Sayu would be so pleased with the book. Maybe you could get her a snack on your way home.

It was relatively quiet downtown, which was no problem for you. You weren’t a fan of when it got too overcrowded, it would often make you feel claustrophobic in a way. But today it was a perfect mix. Sayu’s book was In your bag and you were ready to go to a local café you were a fan of. You almost jumped when you heard a voice call out to you.

“Ms. (L/N)?”

You looked over your shoulder and saw an oh-so-familiar face. Touta Matsuda the young detective that worked with Mr. Yagami. He was a bubbly man who seemed far too unpredictable and optimistic for the job, but that was something you had appreciated about him, “Matsuda!” you smiled at him, “so lovely to see you.”

He made his way over to you, brushing past a couple of people, before he beamed brightly, “I thought that was you! How have you been, you’ve been studying for your final exams right?”

You smiled while you looked down slightly, “Yeah, been staying up a bit too late for it.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great! The amount of hard work you’ve been putting in will pay off,” he encouraged, before he looked over his shoulder, “hey I was just about to grab a coffee would you like to come with me?”

You nodded with a smile, “Of course!”

Matsuda had always been an energetic man and that energy was non-stop. During coffee he was chatty and the bright smile on his face was unable to disappear. It always made him seem far younger than what he was and made it even harder to believe he worked with police.

“What do you want to do once you graduate, (Y/N), do you have plans?” he asked before he took a sip from his coffee.

You hesitated for a moment before you gave a curt nod, “Well, I had originally wanted to be a writer but at the moment, my studies are aiming for me to get a job as either a lawyer or detective. I’m not sure what specifically yet, it will all depend on my marks.”

“Well, no matter what you do I know you will be fantastic at it! Of course, if you were a detective we would get to work together! Which would be pretty cool.” He gave out a nervous laugh.

“Thank you, Matsuda. I appreciate it.” You did. Your parents were set on you becoming a lawyer. Even if they were not a huge part of your life anymore, you still wanted them to be proud. Even if they were never fully happy with your life choices.

“I can picture you as a writer though! You’ll have to let me read your work one day,” he smiled sweetly at you, “I don’t get much time to read anymore but I’d read anything you write.”

“Maybe I’ll send you some pieces soon.” You laughed and sipped your coffee. From the corner of your eye, you noticed that Matsuda looked at you for a beat longer than he had meant to before he shook his head slightly and grabbed his cup, looking down, with what you could only guess was embarrassment.

The two of you continued to talk, mostly about why you had chosen to go to town that day. Matsuda took in every word you said and would respond when appropriate. He later spoke about how he loved his days off to go about and do what he couldn't during the week, he said that he would often find himself wandering around, not heading anywhere specific but just wanting to be outside. He said he had been excited when he saw you and almost couldn't believe it was you. He thought you would stay home to study much like Light. You weren't a fan of being compared to Light. Matsuda seemed to avoid it though, he had a way of making you feel as though you were special and that it was good that you weren't a carbon copy of the Yagami son. In those kinds of moments, when he would get flustered and stumbled over his words that you found him cute. You knew for a fact that Matsuda was single and had been for some time. Which had always seemed odd to you, while he may have been goofy, he was genuine. How could he not have a girlfriend? You could only assume that he would be able to find someone the older he got. At least you could only hope. Perhaps if you stopped pinning over Light you could focus on Matsuda. He would treat a woman with respect and kindness. What more could someone want?

You had stopped listening to whatever he had been talking about At this point you were just staring at him. Noticing all his features. You were only snapped out of this trance when you saw his facial expression change to that of curiosity, at first you had feared that he had noticed that you weren't listening and that you would have some explaining to do, you threw that thought away that moment his face brightened up and he started to wave. 

"Hey, Light! Over here, what a coincidence to see you here, are you taking the day off too?" he asked him with genuine interest. 

You turned your head slightly to look at Light who had walked next to your seat. He still held his usual neutral expression, making him look older, far too mature for his age. Of course, he had dressed well, his usual white button up with his tan coat. It was a perfect fit for him, which was no shock, throughout your years of knowing Light you knew he loved for most things to be perfection, that was anything from his work to his clothing and hair. It was something you admired about him. You were confused as to why he was there, however. Light usually loved having the house to himself to study on the weekends. If he were to go out to study, you would often find him sitting alone at a library or in a shady spot in the park. Not a café where the noise was likely to rise.

“Afraid no,” he said simply before he fished his hand in his pocket and pulled out a phone, it was your phone, “I just came to give (Y/N) her phone – you left it at home, so I came down to drop it off.”

You looked at him while he passed you the phone. Your soul wishing, he would play the part of a lover in a novel who would hold your hand for a second too long when he passed it to you. Of course, nothing of the sort happened. He had just given you your phone as anyone would. Just like how anyone would. You didn’t know why the action almost offended you, yet the feeling was there. You were befuddled; however, you seldom took your phone with you when you went out to town. You usually left it at home because you hated it ringing while you had your quiet time. Sure, you could turn it off, but you didn’t see the point in taking it if you especially when most of your friends didn’t have a phone, and your parents would never call. So why would Light bring your phone here? He knew you hardly took it anywhere. How did he know where you were anyway? You hadn't told anyone where you planned on going for the day, apart from the library, and you had been out for over two hours, why would he bring it now? Had he had done it while you were leaving the house it would have had made more sense, but now? 

You looked at your phone for a moment, uttering a thanks, to him before placing it in your pocket, not bothering to check if you had any missed messages. You were unable to see the look on Light’s face that was a mix of surprise and disappointment, as though he had expected you to check your phone before putting it away. Before you looked back at Matsuda who was just beaming, from ear to ear, praised Light, “That’s so thoughtful of you Light! Coming all this way to give (Y/N) her phone, especially when you’re studying!”

“Always one to point out the obvious, huh Matsuda.” Light said coolly, there was an edge to his voice that implied his words were an insult. It was as clear as day for you, you were too familiar with that tone, you couldn’t hold back your giggle from his words.

Light glanced down at you with a smirk on his features while Matsuda blushed, rubbing the back of his head. He laughed slightly, “Always the joker, Light.” He was blushing slightly. You saw light pull up a chair and sat next to Matsuda. Tension seemed to grow between the three of you and Matsuda was tripping over his words too much to even utter a sentence.

“You seemed pretty deep in conversation. What did I miss?” Light asked coolly, fingertips curled around his chin, while he looked at Matsuda, occasionally throwing a glance towards you.

“Oh, nothing really.” Matsuda laughed slightly, he was about to add more but Light had cut him off quickly and smoothly without a flaw.

“Does my father know that you meet up with (Y/N) for coffee?” he tilted his head, “I’m sure he’d love to know what the two of you chat about.”

Matsuda’s face flushed, “Well this is our first time meeting up actually, I just bumped into (Y/N) outside the library.”

“I see,” he said simply, “then I suppose you won’t mind if I join?” he smiled before he left to order a coffee.

Chapter Text

It was supposed to be a simple day where she could relax. When Light had joined her and Matsuda for coffee, it felt like an interview. She wasn’t sure what to do. A part of her felt like she was being judged, and that was the last thing she wanted. A soft sigh escaped her lips, before she glanced at herself in the mirror, she brushed her hair to make it look tidier and smooth. She placed the brush down before she opened her notebook, ready to start more study work, she sipped on her tea, while she read through her notes that she had made the previous day.

While working on practice essays, she couldn’t help but notice her mind wandered more than usual. One thing had been stuck on her mind on how Light knew where she would be and why he would bring her her cell phone. It all seemed so odd. She glanced down at her phone that was still switched off and turned it on.

(8) MISSED MESSAGES

YURI (4)

Do you want to come to a study group with me tomorrow?

I’ve been told Ena is going to invite the guys.

Come on (Y/N) don’t miss out on the eye candy!

Taigen will be there

ENA (3)

I don’t know if Yuri will remember to tell you but I’m having a study day tomorrow, and you should come

The guys will be there

Oh and have you finished Misery?

She smiled to herself. Her friends didn’t know of her interest in Light, and both had been somewhat jealous that she lived with him. She quickly replied to the two girls confirming that she would think about it. She hadn’t always been the biggest fan of group study, and she knew if her friends were there, not much would get done. She looked back through her texts to see the last one she had missed.

LIGHT (1)

Light? Now, this she was shocked to see, the two would often text but on a day when he was supposed to be studying, she didn’t expect to see one there for her.

LIGHT (1)

Hoping you’ll read this when I give you your phone. Tell Matsuda you need to go do something, I’ll reimburse you for the coffee.

She tilted her head in confusion. Why would he send that? He wanted to her to leave the café, it seemed to not make sense to her. Why would he care where she would go?  She bit her lip for a moment, debating if she should even text back. A part of her fuming, it explained why he had acted so snarkily to Matsuda during his time he spent with them. Was this Light's way of telling he didn't want her to be around him? A part of her wanted to understand that he was being kind, but it was the last thing she wanted, she was almost an adult, she would be in University soon. She didn't need someone to tell her how to spend her say. It wasn't like she had been flirting with the detective. They were talking. She looked at the keypad of her phone, hearing the vigorous clicks while she drafted a message. Yet nothing seemed to come out the way she wanted it to sound. What was the point of texting him when they were both a few meters apart from each other? She sighed slightly and got up from her desk chair. She may as well just ask him herself. 

The two knocks on his door echoed within her, was it invasive to want to talk with him about what had happened today. No, it couldn't be, she was there too, she was just as involved in this as him. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, before she heard his door open. When she looked up at him, he seemed uncertain at first before his usual calm dementor took over him, a soft smile on his features, “Oh, (Y/N), is there anything you need?”

“Do you want to explain what happened today?”

“Did you get my text? I’ll take that as a yes,” he said after she gave him a look, he leaned against his door frame, “I don’t know what you need me to explain.”

“Don’t play dumb.”

“I’m not I’m giving you the simple truth, maybe if you can clarify to me what it is you wish for me to explain then sure I could. I doubt this is over me giving you your phone, that was a kind act.” There was a smirk edging on his lips, he wanted to laugh, he really did, the way she looked in that moment before him. She was doing her best to remain composed, her arms crossed over her chest. Although he struggled to take her seriously when she was in her pyjamas. How could anyone?

“You know what you did. Why did you start saying those comments at Matsuda, or even come to bring my phone? You know I don’t use it.”

He gave a small shrug a small laugh escaped his lips, “are you seriously upset I ‘ruined’ your date with Matsuda?”

“It wasn’t a date.” She frowned.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night. Anyway, I don’t see why you’re mad. You could do far better than Matsuda.

She was taken aback for a moment, “Better?”

“Don’t act surprised. Women are so weird about these things, you’re not a bad catch, you’re intelligent and beautiful, you could probably get yourself a hard-working husband who will treat you like a queen or whatever it is you’re into.”

I don’t want just any hard-working husband, Light. Does this mean you think I’m worthy to be with you? Would you consider me as someone you would want to date? Or do you see me too much as your sister or friend. Oh, Light why do you have to make this so confusing. Why do you look like you don’t even care about anything you’re saying? And why do you have to have your fingers curled around your chin so close to your lips. . .

His voice cut you from your thoughts, “And maybe I gave you your phone, so you’d read my text.”

“You sent that after seeing me with him.”

“I suppose I did, didn’t I? Well isn’t that a great mystery.”

She sighed, she knew she wasn’t going to get anywhere with him at this point, “Sure, night.” She turned to go back to her room, she would do one more practice essay before she went to bed, at least her day could be more productive that way.

She gasped slightly when she felt a tight grip around her wrist, she turned her head to see Light looking straight into her soul, “I know I can’t stop you. But I want you to know your worth. You deserve someone better than Matsuda.”

She didn’t know what to say, she just looked at him and nodded slightly. After a moment he let go of her hand, bidding her goodnight before he closed his door. She couldn’t write an essay after that. She just needed to lay in bed and hope she could get some sleep after all that. Her eyes were fixated on the ceiling while she tried to figure out what had just happened.

Light sat down at his desk once again, he finished the last of his study before he closed his books and put them away in their designated place. He stretched for a moment before laying back in his bed staring at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure why he had acted the way he did. Usually, he wouldn’t care what people do in their private lives, as long as they were not hurting anyone it was no concern of his. Yet, when he saw (Y/N) with Matsuda, he couldn’t stand the sight. Then again, had he chosen not to give her her phone and continued to study for the day he would have never had to worry about it. He closed his eyes for a moment. See this is what happens when you insert yourself into the narrative with foolish things. Had I had let her come home for her phone I would have never interjected myself and involved myself in something I couldn’t care less about. He rolled over to his side and pulled out a book from his desk side drawer, he flicked through a few pages to get to a photograph he had left inside. It had been taken last Christmas. Light could remember his mother being insistent on getting so many photos that year. Sayu was the most annoying trying to sneak into every one of them. But this was one that she had managed not to do it. It was a photo of himself and (Y/N). She was wearing a jumper his mother had gotten her, it stood out against her light pyjama shorts. She was sitting with him on the floor, she was smiling up at the camera, a book rested on her lap that Light had been reading with her as well. Her head was tilted to the side closer to him, while he sat next to her, leaning on his hand that was behind her back, he smiled at the camera, his free hand resting on a different book that they had been planning to read later.

Why did she have to be so confusing, he thought to himself while he closed the book and got under the covers. His eyes fixed on the drawer where the photo laid, soon falling asleep.

The school day morning came what felt like so much sooner than expected and Light was one of the first to wake up along with his mother. He knew Sayu would take a true effort to wake up but (Y/N) would probably end up being the one to do it. Oddly she wasn’t awake yet, Light made it his duty to wake up the sleepy head. While he made his way upstairs, he smirked to himself before he called out, “(Y/N), time to get up.” He knocked on her door before he entered her room.

She was already sitting on her bed with her legs crossed, uniform on and hair done. She was reading until he entered her room, she looked over at him with a raised eyebrow while she closed the book, “You right there?”

He shook his head, “I thought you were still sleeping. Will you wake Sayu? Breakfast is ready so we’ll be able to leave soon.”

“That’ll be a bit early to leave,” she gave a small shrug and got off her bed and grabbed her shoulder bag, “you seem to be in a rush.”

“If it is too early, we can just go for a walk around the area until we need to get there.” He offered, she immediately looked up at him with slight confusion in her eyes a slow blink before she brushed her hair out of her eyes while she walked closer to him. He wasn’t sure how he felt about her standing so close to him, she was inches away, looking up at him. Why was she so close?! He could practically smell the lavender in her hair. He nearly yelled out at her when she leaned forward but it only came out as a confused sound, a mix between “hey”, “wait”, and “what’re you”. She only seemed to chuckle when she leaned away and revealed in her hand what she had been leaning over to grab. That damn phone.

“Sorry you were in the way,” she smiled before brushing past him to go wake up Sayu. The only thing letting Light know of this was her sudden frightened scream.

“(Y/N) LET ME SLEEP!”

***

The commute to school was the same as always. The only difference was this time they both knew they would have free time before class. Light had gotten (Y/N) into the habit of arriving to school five minutes or so before they needed to start. She used to arrive early to study and meet up with friends, and at the start of her time of staying with Light she had continued to go to school early to see everyone and socialise, but soon she found that she preferred the company of walking with him, whether it was in dee conversation about any topic or just in the comfort of silence. Either way, she found walking with him was nicer. In recent weeks, the two would debate the justice system. It seemed to be something that was contently on Lights mind. She couldn’t blame him, if he wanted to be a detective, it was only fair that he wanted to understand the justice system. She knew that she should also think more about those types of topics since one of her top choices in a career was a lawyer, the second a detective.

A lot of the thoughts Light would share with her would never surprise her, his thoughts were overly Just and optimistic. On a technical sense, he was right, but she wasn’t sure where she placed herself on his scale of justice.

“I’m glad I can talk with you about this,” he eventually said, before he stopped in front of the school gate.

“I’m always willing to listen,” she shrugged, “you have a unique view.”

“I mean it,” he said more seriously, placing his hand on her shoulder, “most dismiss my arguments about these types of things. OR call me a child for it.”

She glanced at his hand that seemed to have a slightly firm grip on her, before she looked up at him, “Well, I’m sure you’d do the same for me. I’ve known you for what, five years? I’d hope you’d be willing to do the same for me as well.”

The reassuring smile she gave him made him feel more sure of himself and he squeezed her shoulder slightly, “Hey, we still have some time would you like to go grab-”

The moment he heard the high-pitched call from one of your friends, waving her arm excitedly while she ran over to you, he wanted nothing more than to yell at her to leave. How did she always have a talent for being overly obnoxious? Yuri was her name, wasn’t it? One of (Y/N)s close friends, an overbearing woman who always demanded attention. He was surprised that (Y/N) hadn’t cut her off once they reached senior year. The only hope he had for her was the fact that there would be no way that Yuri would make it to the same University as (Y/N) she was a clueless girl and hardly focused on her studies, and it showed greatly.

“(Y/N) YOU’RE HERE!” the girl smiled brightly, (y/n) had felt the sudden absence of Lights hand, that seemed to brush down your arm before it rested back at his side, “you should come sit with us, there’s so much we have to tell you!” she giggled.

Light could clearly see the flicker of annoyance in her eyes before she smiled, “Uh, sure yes, I’ll catch you later Light” it sounded more like a question when she looked back at him and she quickly mouthed an apology to him. He only gave her a soft shrug back before she was dragged away by Yuri to the school grounds. Light felt his jaw tighten and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes, his knuckles white while he gripped the strap of his bag.

Chapter Text

Listening to your friends gossip amongst themselves made you realise how out of touch you were to their lives. While sitting and listening to them, it amazed you to hear everything you had missed, who was going out with who, why they don’t like certain girls, their plans for after graduation. There was a small part inside of you that was glad they still wanted to include you in these types of things. It would be far easier to just leave you out of the group. Yet there you sat, the moment you had been spotted attending school early again, they insisted you come with them and catch up. There was a wholesomeness to it in a way, especially considering it was a high school friendship. While you had nothing against those friendships per se it was no hidden fact that the moment you all graduated it would be likely that you wouldn’t see any one of them again for years. There was nothing inherently wrong with that, it was just a part of life. Both Light and yourself over the years had made plans to attend To-Oh University, most of your friends want to go overseas for their study, or to different cities. So there was no lie that you all would eventually split away from each other, especially since the majority had different career paths in mind: doctor, hairdresser, and banker. Not exactly the same path as a lawyer. Your friends seemed a bit oblivious to the fact and were set on the idea that you all would be friends forever. You weren’t going to break it to them.

In class you had almost grown the urge to walk out, your teacher had been dancing around a topic that you knew was a sensitive one and he was opening it for debate. You tried to zone out, you didn’t wish to take part. While you loved debating and making arguments that would make you think on your feet you knew this subject matter would only cause you to become far too frustrated. You preferred the small conversations yourself and Light would have on the subject. You didn’t like the feeling of your classmates watching you in regard to this topic.

“(Y/N)”

Crap why did he have to call on me!?

You looked up from your desk to him, you had let out a soft sigh before you stood up, he had a soft smile on his face as though he was keen to hear your opinion, “You’re striving to be a criminal lawyer when you leave so I believe you should have an interesting view on this matter. What are your thoughts on the current justice system?”

You were about to speak - you were prepared to give a simple answer on how all in society can be improved and that law was no exception - before you were interrupted by the voice across the room from you, you glanced over and saw Light had stood up, of course, he had. You remained nonchalant about his act, you didn’t want to crack in front of your classmates, “Sorry to interrupt, but I just find it odd how it is called a justice system when it lacks justice?”

“What makes you think that Mr. Yagami?” the teacher tilted his head, of course, he would want the two of you to debate, Light wishing to be a detective and you a lawyer, stereotypically your worlds clashed.

“Well, it can clearly be seen that many of those who are guilty of a crime get to walk free, now if you were to ask me, that doesn’t seem at all fair. There are some people on this planet who don’t deserve the chances they get.”

You looked back at your teacher and spoke clearly with confidence, “That doesn’t mean justice doesn’t exist. To look at things so black and white - it’s insane, there are many shades of grey that run from case to case, each situation is unique and needs different attention.”

“Well, perhaps we should drain the colour from it,” Light challenged you, “so we can see black and white again.”

“Taking an extreme like that won’t improve the patterns you’re seeing, things like this are far more complicated than, right or wrong.”

“It’s hard to see how all the grey you speak of holds an ounce of justice when lawyers cutting deals isn’t a crime.”

“It is a crime.” you felt yourself getting heated, your eyes closed for a moment while you tried to collect yourself. It was a topic both you and Light were very passionate about, but to talk like this to him in front of your classmates, you couldn’t bear it. You didn’t want to create a boundary between the two of you, yet you didn’t want him to make you look foolish, “you cannot justify the actions of few to define the majority. Not everyone who is a lawyer is easily corrupted by the ways of money. If that is truly how you see the world a part of me is fearful for you.”

Light didn’t take your words to insult, either that for he professionally hiding it, “Well I must say your optimism is cute. But for now, we are stuck in this mess of a world.”

You were mostly silent on the walk home with Light. The debate in class was all you could think about. Even your friends had heard about it through word-of-mouth. You had to restrain yourself from snapping at them with all their questions: ‘are you and Light fighting’, ‘it’s going to be awkward for you when you walk home’, ‘he must think you’re an idiot haha’. Their words just hit you in all the wrong places. You hadn’t planned on walking home with Light that day because of how bothered you were. You had planned on staying at school to study until late and perhaps even walk back to your parents’ home. But while you were sitting in the school library, head deep into studying, you felt the familiar hand of Light on your shoulder. He said that he had been waiting for you at the gate and you hadn’t shown up. You had told him your plans on studying late and he had simply waved you off picking up your things, insisting that you shouldn’t walk home, how it would be dangerous to be alone at night. You didn’t bother to protest.

“(Y/N)”

Light’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts and you looked up at him, he had stopped walking, “Yes?” the moment he heard your voice he had started walking again but didn’t look at you.

“You’ve been quiet since we left school, is something wrong?”

You sighed slightly, while you didn’t want to go into it, you knew Light, he wouldn’t let this go until you spoke, “What did you mean by what you said in class?”

He raised an eyebrow at your question, his eyes glanced down at you, you were holding your books close to your chest, not putting them in your bag, Light supposed it was to create a barrier for yourself, “Huh?”

“What you said about my optimism. What did you mean? Were you making fun of me or-”

He immediately cut you off and walked in front of you, grabbing your shoulders, “Wait what? Insulting you? (Y/N) I wouldn’t do that.”

“Then why did you say it? I just feel stupid.”

“I meant what I said. While I’m not the biggest fan of lawyers, I know that if you’re among them you’ll make it a better place, and I know that if in some odd occasion I need a lawyer, I know I can go to you.” He let go of your shoulders and smiled sweetly at you.

You gasped slightly, “You mean that?”

“Of course, you’d always be my number one lawyer.”

“Oh, but I wouldn’t be able to do that.” You wanted to scream at yourself for thoughtlessly blurting that out.

He seemed confused, “Why is that?” You knew why, because you had feelings for him, it would be improper. Light didn’t feel that way, how could you blurt that out so carelessly?! He looked at you, a somewhat concerned expression on his face.

“Because – well, we have a, a personal relationship,” you tried to cover your tracks while you glanced away from him, he stepped closer to you and you could feel your heart beating in your chest and hear it in your ears. Could Light hear it too?

“What do you mean personal?” he asked, his voice seemed too soft when he asked this, it was lower than the tone he had been using previously, which seemed to only make your heart pump faster.

You looked back up at him and he was staring deeply into you, you could feel the blush on your cheeks and you knew you wouldn’t be able to blame it on the cold, “Well I mean-”

“Yes?”

The sound of his voice was so sweet, it made you feel like you were the only one there in the world, and you wanted it to stay like that. He was so close to you, he even seemed to be moving closer to you, you felt as though if he moved any closer you would be able to feel his breath on you. Was this one of those moments you had watched on the TV with Sayu, or something with your books? Or were you reading too far into it, “We live together you know, we’re like family.” No, either way, you couldn’t lean in, you couldn’t give in to your desires, you were family at this point, there was no way that he wanted you as something more.

“Ah, I see.” His voice had returned to normal now and he had moved back a little.

“Besides! You’ll never need a lawyer silly,” you tried to brighten the mood, a soft giggle in your tone, “if I get into criminal justice I’ll be quite useless to you.”

“I suppose you’re right,” he shrugged moving back to your side while you both walked on ahead, “my point still stands, you’ll be a brilliant lawyer. I’m sure even my parents will be proud of you.”

Chapter Text

You laid back on your bed, fiddling with a red ribbon entwined in your fingertips. Light wasn’t home. For the first time, he let you walk home by yourself since he wanted to make a quick stop to a convenience store after prep-school. You pulled the ribbon tightly between your fingers, there was a part of you that was glad that he was finally treating you as an adult but another part of you had the sinking gut feeling that he wasn’t okay. You winced slightly and loosened your pull on the ribbon, you hadn’t noticed how tight you were pulling it, a red mark left on your fingers. You rolled over to your side and reached over to your lamp to turn it off. A small hope inside you that the dread you felt would leave in the morning.

***

Light stumbled through his bedroom door, his chest rapidly rising and falling, it was true. The Death Note, it was all real, and he was destined to use it. He was the chosen one for this. He set his bag down and sat on his bed for a moment. So many thoughts had been rushing through his mind and he tried to collect them all while he started to undo his red tie. Fiddling with the material in his hands. How was this all possible? Was this all by the will of God? Had this been his destiny? To protect the less fortunate and to keep the public safe . . .

“(Y/N).”

He hadn’t meant to verbally speak your name. It had been a thought that shocked him too much. Were you okay? Had you gotten home safe? Oh god, what if something happened and she's hurt, it would all be my fault, I know how dangerous these streets are yet I let her walk home alone - all to test out this damn book! (Y/N) I hope you'll forgive me. Tie still in hand, he made his way over to your room. The door was closed, no light emitted from the room. He knew that technically that was no indicator that you were inside or weren't inside. Mum and Dad would have been up worried sick if she wasn’t home, better yet they would call me. Then again there’s no saying that they thought she was going home for the night so therefore they wouldn’t be worried; but wouldn't she call me if that were the case? I know I shouldn’t barge into her room or wake her up but . . . Goddammit, I need to know.

He gently opened the door to your room and immediately felt relieved when he saw you sleeping soundly in your bed. He knew it would be best to leave, he knew you were home and safe, that he hadn’t done anything reckless that would get you hurt. Not that it mattered now, he could protect you with the Death Note if need be. He quietly stepped into your room; you didn’t stir you were too deep in sleep. A soft smile curled along his lips, he noticed that in your hands, you held a red ribbon close to your chest. He reached out to take it away from you and put it on your desk but stopped himself when you rolled over. He pulled his hand back before he glanced at your desk, your laptop was still on and it slightly lit up the room. He made his way over and looked over your desk, you were messier than him but he could clearly see that there was a method to your madness. His eyes caught onto the photo frames you kept on your desk, none of which were of your blood family, where he guess where you would have placed your family photo you had a photo of yourself with his family. He found it sweet, yet a small pit formed in his stomach, does she only see me as a brother? A picture next to it was a photo of the two of you, he remembered this one, they were walking around Aoyama with their friends and one of them had taken a photo of the two. She was far more expressive than he was, a bright smile on her face while she had an arm around him. It was a good day, perhaps I should plan for us to go back to Aoyama soon. He got up from his seat, seeing you sleeping peacefully and most of all safe made him feel at peace in a way. A part of him wanted to climb into the bed with you and lay there with you, to make sure you would stay safe, but he knew he couldn't do that. He smiled down at you while he walked past. He softly whispered goodnight to you and then left your room, untying the tie from his wrist, holding it close to his chest while he slept.

***

For the past five days, you had been glued to the television. Criminals all over the world had been dying of heart attacks. You would usually be worried about what your parents would think about your national exam results, but you could hardly care. After showing the Yagami’s your results you posted it to your family. Over the week it had become a habit to watch the news for a few hours to keep updated on everything, you had even found yourself writing down how many criminals a day had been dying. Pen in hand, your eyes were glued to the screen while you wrote down the names of criminals who would show up, it was so unbelievable, how was it even possible? Was it supernatural? Was it –

“(Y/N)” the sound of Light’s mother's voice cut through your thoughts and you looked over at her, she was holding a fruit basket of apples in her hands, “please don’t fall too deep in this, you still need to study.”

You nodded slightly while you closed your notebook, “Yes, of course, Auntie, sorry, I didn’t realise how much time passed.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she smiled, she passed you the fruit basket, “I got these from the neighbours, would you mind taking these up to Light? Make sure he shares with you.”

“Of course.”

The apples did look amazing and you wanted to cheer that she had got them for the two of you to reward you both for your studies. Your parents would never do anything like that. They would rather have you strictly stay on schedule and remain in your room with no recreation time. You had always gotten the impression that they never wanted a child.

You knocked softly on Lights door before you went for the handle only to be shocked that it was locked, “Uh, hey Light wanna let me in?”

There was a pause, “Uh – yes – coming!”

You were confused but waited, you heard the click of the door and Light blocking the entrance, “Uh, may I enter?”

He hesitated for a moment before he stepped aside, “Oh, yes, of course…”

You raised an eyebrow at his act while you stepped in the room, “Why’re you acting so weird, oh my God turn on your light – there you go. Jeez Light you’ll ruin your eyes,” you shook your head before you put the basket on the table, “Auntie got them from the neighbours, and yes we have to share, how tragic.” You joked.

Light stared at you in what you would only describe as utter disbelief while you grabbed an apple and sat down on his bed.

“Are you feeling okay Light? You look pale.”

He shook his head slightly, “I’m fine, I think I’m just tired,” he chuckled before he sat down on his chair, he watched you intently while you fiddled with the apple in your hands, not taking a bite from it. You seemed to want to say something but weren’t allowing yourself to speak.

“I better go study, I’ve spent too much time with the TV as is.” You said while you got up from the bed.

“Oh? Something catch your eye?”

“The murders – well, deaths of all those criminals, the heart attacks.” You shrugged slightly and made your way to his door, you were stopped from leaving by Light’s voice.

“Murders? Why would you use that word?”

You paused for a moment before you decided to speak, “It all seems too formulaic. It can’t be a coincidence that all these criminals just started dropping like flies, no matter how convenient it sounds,” you looked down at the apple in your hands, “which only makes me fear whatever entity or human is behind it.”

“Why do you say that?” he leaned in, his eyes locked on you while you looked down. The light of the hallway made a halo effect to your hair, glowing beautifully like a crown, for a brief moment he wondered if you knew you were capable of such sweet moments.

You shook your head, a soft laugh escaped your lips, “It’s silly but – y’know, I think I’m just going to go study,” you sighed, “maybe we’ll discuss it another time. Keep your light on if you’re going to study okay? Night”

“Goodnight.” He called out to you while he watched you close the door behind you.

Chapter Text

Stress. That had been clouding your mind for so long. Stress and frustration. Not only had these murders continued, but there was also now a name for this killer Kira, and there was a website to praise him. It would list names of criminals who deserved to die. You hated the idea of such a site, it had consumed your entire night at one point, from you cross-checking names to see if these people listed were truly criminals or angry ex’s. Such a site is idiotic and if Kira truly is out there, I hope to whatever god there may be doesn’t get his information from such a site; there are known cases of the innocent being locked in gaol and receiving the death sentence. So, who is to say Kira hasn’t killed someone who was potentially innocent? You let out a soft sigh and closed out of the site. You couldn’t stand to look at it longer. You leaned forward on your desk, rubbing your eyes slightly, you needed to relax. That was what you needed. You needed to stop thinking about, school, life, and these damned murders. You just needed your mind to wander off to something else. Bed – bed was comfy, the clean sheets, the soft mattress, you could just curl up under the duvet and feel the warm comforting arms of Light snake around your waist – woah. Stop that.

You shook your head slightly and made your way over to sit on the bed. These thoughts had been trapped in your head for the past couple of days. And it never helped that you tended to see him not long after these thoughts and he always found a reason to touch you. You could swear that he would do it on purpose just to mess with you.

You stood near the bench, waiting for the kettle to boil, you had grabbed your teacup and had pulled out some biscuits from the cupboard. It would be a great study snack, although to be honest, you wanted to eat a million sandwiches. You heard footsteps behind you, you glanced around and saw Light making his way in, with a sort of skip in his step. You looked back at the kettle and put the packet back in the cupboard. You had almost dropped the kettle the moment you picked it up when you felt warm hands on your waist.

“Sorry, but you’re in the way.” Light has softly said to you, as his hands moved you slightly to the side.

He leaned over to the cupboard and opened it, only to look at it for a few moments before his hands were back on your waist to move you back to your original spot.

“Hmm, it seems like what I needed wasn’t there.” He quirked a smile at you, he would have had to have known he didn’t need that cupboard, even you knew everything that was in those cupboards. How could he not?

You looked up at him for a moment, you wanted to say something, but you were far too flustered to let words escape from your mouth.

“But I think I’ll take this.” He leaned forward, one hand still on your waist while the other reached out for one of your biscuits.

“Hey!” you giggled, while you reached out to grab the biscuit from him, you turned around to face him and he only held it up high above your head, “don’t steal my food.”

“You can grab a new one.” He offered; you felt your face flush while his hand stayed on your waist.

“Why are you like this oh my god, give me my biscuit!” you jumped up trying to grab it from his hand.

“I don’t see the big deal.”

“The deal is the lack of justice with my biscuit!”

“Oh, justice you say?” he smirked and held it to your face, “is me taking this from you injustice Ms. Lawyer?”

“Of the highest account, and I’m pretty sure I have a good case against you Detective Yagami.”

“Well then, I can’t argue with the law,” he said simply, before he leaned forward again, his chest pressed against yours while he put it back on your plate, you could feel the smirk on his face and hear his breath, “case closed?”

His voice gave you goosebumps, you could feel his hot breath against your ear.

You gave a short nod before you felt his hand make your way to your shoulder, he gave it a short squeeze before he stepped away from you.

“Don’t study too hard.” Were his last words.

You let out an angry sigh before you face planted into your pillow, letting out a muffled scream of frustration. Why does Light have to be such a – ugh!

The knock on your door broke you out of your thoughts and you made your way to open it, “Sayu?”

“I need some help with my homework, I’m not really getting it,” she showed you the papers, “we’re doing quadratic equations.”

You had a flick through the papers and looked through the questions, it was simple stuff, but you weren’t one to enjoy mathematics, you often avoided it at all costs.  You looked down at her with a smile, “How about we both annoy Light?”

She grinned at the idea and immediately raced over to Light’s room, she was knocking on his door, going on about why he had his door locked, by the time you rocked up over by her side he had unlocked his door and was looking at the two of you.

“What on earth?”

“Sayu wants some help with quadratic equations, and I just informed her how much of a genius you were.”

He looked up at you while Sayu passed him her papers, “Oh is that so? How generous of you.”

“I also want to see if you mess up anything.” You chuckled.

He laughed slightly, “I’ll take up the challenge,” he gestured for the two of you to come in, you had to hold your tongue when you felt his hand on your lower back to let you into his room. You looked up at him with a confused look on your face and he merely just smiled at you, “All right Sayu, let’s see what you need to do.”

Light had pulled up a seat for Sayu at his desk while he helped her, although he seemed to get distracted at moments, at first you thought he had been randomly glancing at you from time to time, but you quickly worked out that he was always staring slightly behind you. Although that didn’t make sense. You didn’t want to press it so you just kept quiet and sat laid back on his bed while you listened to him explain the work to Sayu.

“Am I boring you?” you heard Light ask you while he finished up explaining a problem to Sayu.

“You bet, I wonder if any of this is sinking in Sayu’s head, I think I’d rather watch paint dry.”

Sayu laughed at your comment, “(Y/N)’s the only one who can pick on my big brother.”

“I’m feeling ganged up on over here.” He said in a joking tone, you could practically hear the smirk on his face.

“Maybe you should.” you joked back.

You all looked over at the door when you heard the routine call for dinner. Sayu had immediately ran out of Light’s room while he protested that she should stay and do the last few questions, only for her to shout she’d do it later.

He let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair, “Does she do this to you?”

“No, because I send her to you,” you laughed. You felt the bed sink next to you, when you looked over you saw that Light had also chosen to lay next to you, “has she drained you?”

He lifted up his hand, taking a look at it, “You know, if you look close enough, it looks like a corpse.”

You laughed and pushed his hand away, “You’re so dumb.”

“Says the one who wouldn’t help her.”

You rolled over to your side to look at him, “Why do that when I can get someone else to do it.”

He rolled over to face you, a slight smirk on his face, “I guess I see your point.”

There was silence for a moment between the two of you. Only, it wasn’t uncomfortable. Usually, you would be mentally writhing with embarrassment due to being so close to him. Yet at that moment, you were just happy to be close to him.

“Light, about that day with Matsuda.”

He seemed to pause for a moment and readjusted himself while he listened to you.

You paused for a moment, there were many things you wanted to say, how you didn’t like Matsuda that way, how you didn’t mean to make him mad if he was. Though you knew you could only settle with one, the others you knew would make this comfortable situation awkward, and that was the last thing you needed.

“How did you know where I was?’

He chuckled, “that’s your question? Ha, well, hard question, call it a hunch.”

“Your magic detective skills?” you teased.

“You bet,” he smiled, “have you seen him again?”

You shook your head and joked, “I’ve been hanging out with you too much.”

He smiled, “Better keep it that way then.”

There was silence for a moment before you spoke, “I should probably get down for dinner before Sayu yells that I’m missing out on some juicy scene with Hideki Ryuga,” you joked, while you sat up on the bed and stretched your arms up above your head. You could feel Light’s eyes burning into your back, you glanced back at him with a smile on your face, “you right there?”

“I’m perfectly fine,” he smiled before he sat up with you, he leaned against you slightly, “can you tell mum I’ll be a little late, I just want to finish up this work, I think maybe two more practice essays.”

“Fair enough, I can bring you up some food if you like?” you offered.

“Sure, I’d like that,” he smiled, he leaned his head against your shoulder for a moment, before he got up, “okay, I better let you go. Hanging around me is more boring than watching paint dry right?” he smiled at you before he glanced to the far corner, you almost wanted to ask him about it yet decided against it.

“Oh, so much worse,” you smiled while you walked to his door, when you glanced back at him, he shot you a short wink before he looked back at his desk, opening his side drawer, to grab a notebook, probably one of his study books.

You were taken aback but just turned away and went downstairs. Sayu had a bright smile on her face while she told you your show had just come on so the both of you could watch it together. You had grabbed your plate and sat on the lounge next to her, Sayu was gushing over Hideki Ryuga. You found it hilarious what a blushing mess she would turn into.

“Have you had a boyfriend, (Y/N)?” she asked you, taking a bite of the last bit of her food.

You paused for a moment, you had been in ‘relationships’, you had never truly counted them as something serious as you just found the most of the people you had been with turned out to be idiots that you didn’t want to have anything to do with, you gave a simple shrug, “Yeah but nothing significant. Boys in school are just silly.”

“You think that?” she tilted her head.

You gave her a nod, “Definitely, they’re far too immature for my taste.”

“What about Light though?”

You paused slightly, you knew you had to pick your words carefully, you didn’t want to break it to her that Light was your Hideki, “Oh Light is a different case,” you laughed, “he’s far above the boys in my grade.”

“I always picture you two being together,” she walked to the kitchen with her plate, you had started choking on your food.

“Um, why would you say that?”

Sayu - the sweet innocent child, just smiled brightly, “You’re the only girl he brings home and the only one he talks about.”

Oh, you sweet, naïve child. I love you.

“I don’t think that’s how it works, Sayu.” You laughed, you got up to put your own plate in the sink.

Sayu just jumped excitedly before she hugged you, “But imagine! If Light married you we’d be sisters-in-law! We’d be one huge family.”

You pat her on the back, “We’re already a family, and you’re the best little sister I could ask for,” you ruffled her hair and laughed to yourself.

“I know silly but even closer! Oh! Could I be a bridesmaid!”

You pushed her off you while you laughed, “You might want to slow down there, no wedding vows will be exchanged you brat.”

Sayu was cut off from whatever she was going to say next by the TV changing. The soap opera changing to a news broadcast. The both of you raced to the lounge room to see why this happened.

It all hit you so fast. Lind. L. Tailor. His death. L. Kira. Kira was in Japan. Kira was in Japan. Your theory was right, Kira was a person. A person passing judgment. A fool. How could someone pass judgment like that on the public? What made him think he was worthy? No, no, you could understand it. But killing the decoy? Doesn’t that only show that whoever this was was a naïve child who didn’t understand the weight of his choices? You felt your heart pounding in your chest, tears welled in your eyes. This couldn’t be happening. You turned the TV off. Sayu didn’t need to see that, you pulled yourself together, wiping your eyes, you knew you had to be strong for her, “I think we should put on a movie; don’t you think so Sayu? What’s that romance movie you like, the one with Hideki in it? Actually – how about you put it on, and I’ll go give Light his dinner? I think that’s a solid plan.” You picked up Light’s plate from the kitchen and made your way upstairs, you had to talk to Light, he would understand your worries, he would understand you.

Your footsteps echoed throughout your head like the heartbeat in your chest. You felt heavy; it couldn’t be real. You knocked rapidly on Lights door, your heart was pounding so loudly in your ears. When the door eventually opened after being unlocked, you faked a happy voice, just in case Sayu could hear you, you knew Light could see right through it, “I brought you your dinner Light. Here you go.”

You knew he could see your watery eyes. You knew he could see you were overwhelmed. He took the plate from you and gestured for you to come in, “hey, how about you come in, it’s okay.” He whispered.

He let you walk in and your heard shuffling of him putting his plate down and the opening and closing of a drawer. You had just stood in his room, far too nervous to do anything, too overwhelmed, you hadn’t even noticed that you had started biting your thumbnail. You stopped when you felt Light grab your shoulders, you looked up at him, “(Y/N) are you okay?”

You shook your head before he hugged you tightly, whispering that it was going to be okay. He held you tightly to him before he sat you down on the bed, “Is this about what was on the TV?” when you had nodded, he hugged you once again, “it’s okay (Y/N). Hey lay down, trust me, just lay back.”

You listened to him and laid down on his bed, resting your head on his pillow, the same pillow Light would lay his head on every night when he went to sleep. Something about that was already comforting that you had stopped crying. You then noticed the lights had been turned off and you then saw him make his way over to you, he took his shoes off and moved the duvet cover, “Get under the covers, Ms. Lawyer.” He said while he got into the bed with you, and you got under the covers. He brushed the hair from your eyes before he gestured for you to come closer. When you shuffled near him, he pulled you to him, hugged you close.

“It’s all going to be okay.”

“How do you know that?” it was all you could think to say.

“Because we’re facing this together.” You could feel the vibrations of his voice while your head resting on his chest.

You laughed slightly, “You’re terrible.”

He chuckled, “I like to think that I’m a romantic.”

Your world stopped but you stayed calm, “What like Keats or Hugo?”

“I’d like to think: Yagami.”

You smiled slightly, “Cheesy.”

“I try,” he hugged you tighter, to which you returned, you never would have imagined you’d be in this position ever in your life, the circumstances didn’t make it any better. But you knew deep down, on the other hand, that you were comforted by the fact Light would do this for you.

You closed your eyes for a moment, taking in the scent of his body wash. How did he always smell so perfect? How was he so perfect? How was his heartbeat so relaxing, how was it able to calm you down so perfectly?

Under your breath, you heard yourself mumble a thank you to him. You didn’t feel stupid. There was nothing stupid about thanking him for helping you, for taking you into his family, for being your friend, for keeping you sane, for everything.

“It is my honour,” he whispered back to you, you could feel his breath on your hair. Did he like the smell of your hair? Did you feel awkward against his body? Did he feel weird holding you, was he hoping it would end soon? Were you meant to go back to your room once you had calmed down?

“(Y/N), while I love that you have an active mind could you please settle it down so we can get to sleep?”

You froze completely, your eyes snapped open. You couldn’t make out much in the room, you could see the rough outline if him, his shoulder, arm, covered by the duvet.

“All right then,” you heard him say before he moved to lay on his back and he pulled you closer to have your head rest in the crock of his neck, “now that’s better. What’d you think?”

You just nodded slightly, his arm was under your back, as though he was hugging you, hesitantly you decided to return the favour, you rolled to your side and wrapped an arm over his chest. His free hand rested on top of yours. In a perfect world, the two of you were a couple. In this world though, the two of you were – his best friend. It was the only thing you could settle with, he didn’t love you. Not in the same way he would love a girlfriend. But for now, this was enough.

“(Y/N),” he broke you out of your thoughts – something he seemed to have a true talent of – there was a slight tone in his voice that sounded like he was about to attack you with tickles, “you’re doing it again. I can practically hear your thoughts.”

“Oh yeah?” you questioned with a raised eyebrow, you wanted to play it off cool, “what am I thinking then?”

“Oh, woe is me, I’m missing out on my favourite activity: watching paint dry,” you could hear his smile, “or at least something along those lines, am I correct?”

You smiled slightly, “wow you know me far too well.”

He pulled you closer and you relaxed far more than what you were before. It felt natural. You nearly started barking apologies when in a moment where he readjusted himself and – as though in sync – you had too, except you felt so stupid when you felt your leg over one of his. Entangling yourself with him. You knew Light, if he didn’t want this, he would push you off and be quite stern with you, he knew his boundaries. Yet, he let you stay there. You could feel your heart beating far too hard in your chest, as though it was going to burst through your chest, you felt as though he could hear it. There was no way he couldn’t. All you could think about was how close your leg must have been to his crotch. Yet he was still fine with this?!

As though to calm you down, he squeezed your hand while the other squeezed you slightly. Your eyes soon closed, and you fell fast asleep.

Chapter Text

Your days had formed a pattern. In the mornings, you and Light would make your way to school and attend to your studies. By the night, you would try your hardest to cross-reference criminals Kira killed to see if they truly were criminals or innocent people who did not have enough evidence against them. Especially on websites that would list names of alleged criminals for Kira to kill. You would stay up too late to find out all you could, every time you found evidence to prove that some names you saw were nothing more than boyfriends who had recently broken up with their girlfriends made you sick to your stomach. Every person who you found to be seemingly innocent, you couldn’t help to take note of their names and keep an eye out for them within the media, hoping that you would never see it. Over the week you had started to lose some sleep over it, the circles around your eyes only seeming to get darker. You were only thankful that you could hide the effects through makeup. You knew you couldn’t keep up with this act forever, but if you were going to, you would have to find a better system than what you were using at that moment. Although, you hardly had time to focus on that factor of your life, for the past week you had been trying to work out your feelings. After sharing a bed with Light, nothing between the two of you had changed, a part of you believed that this was because the two of you had known each other for years that something like that wouldn’t be the breaking point between you both. Yet, you felt almost annoyed that there was no change, a part of you wanted Light to look at you in a different, or something, anything. Then again, it was probably for the best that nothing would come from that. You were lucky he was still able to talk to you and treat you the same.

While you walked home with him after dark, things still felt like they usually would, the two of you talked about the day you had and your plans for the weekend, business as usual. You looked up at him, while he spoke to you about how his P.E. class went, his hands were shoved in his pockets, and his eyes glanced down at his feet, watching his strides for a moment as he spoke with ease, “- I think I might consider joining a sport team once I’m in university, that is if my studies don’t take up too much time.”

You laughed, nudging him slightly, “Don’t you think that’s unfair? Popular, smart, good looking, and athletic? Aren’t people usually only allowed two of those max?”

“You’d give me all those titles huh?”

“Yeah, only because none of them hides the fact you’re a goof.” You smirked as you reached up to mess up his hair.

“A goof? Really? Can’t you think of something more creative?” he ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes for a moment.

“It fits too well for an upgrade.”

He all the sudden seemed distracted, as though remembering something. You looked up at him confused, he looked as though he wanted to say something, “Light? Are you alright? You look like you’re on another planet.”

He was silent for a moment before he shook his head, “Oh, yes, I just remembered I need to call someone,” he pulled his phone from his pocket, you could hear the sound of a button, speed dial huh? He was silent again for a moment before he spoke, “Hey it’s me, you said you needed to tell me something?”

You walked on beside him, not wanting to look at him while he was on the phone, that would probably be rude. Who is he talking to? If someone really needed to tell him something couldn’t they just do it in person?

“What’s wrong? Why are you telling me this all the sudden? You’re not usually like this.”

That line made you chime back in the conversation, while you would usually ignore his phone calls, at times putting your headphones in until he tapped your shoulder, you couldn’t help but to feel curious about it.

“It’s okay you can tell me.”

There was a beat before Light stopped in his tracks, freezing, phone still held to his ear.

You had taken a couple of steps forward and looked back at him, not wanting to speak and distract him, you gave him a look, checking that everything was okay.

“I think you shouldn’t stress so much about this, if you need me to, I’ll help you study,” he nodded at you slightly, “is that all? Okay, well I need to walk home with, (Y/N), I’ll talk to you at school.” He hung up and started walking again, taking his long strides ahead of you.

“Hey, is everything all right?’ you asked, trying to catch up, although you seemed to struggle for a moment.

“Yeah, it’s nothing, a friend from class is just nervous about the University entrance exams.”

You looked down for a moment, confused, “That’s a weird thing to call someone over, I mean, if they’re your friend, they’ll see you tomorrow.”

He seemed taken aback by your words but just shook his head after a moment, “They’re the anxious type, I suppose they didn’t want to talk about it in person.”

You let it go before stretching your arms above your head, a huge part of you wanting nothing more than to go to bed, but you knew you would stay up for your “Kira endeavours”.

“What about you?” You heard Light ask you. About what? This was out of the blue; how did you feel about your exams? He knew you were nervous. No point asking.

“Regarding what?” you raised an eyebrow below swinging your arms, letting them loosen up.

“Will you join a sport again?”

You were silent for a moment, you hadn’t thought about the idea of joining a sports team once you were in University, “Don’t know. I swim, I guess I’ll keep swimming, but I don’t think I’ll join any clubs over it.” You shrugged.

“It might be a good stress reliever for you, especially with exams coming up soon.”

You didn’t fully know what to say to that, you just gave a short shrug, mumbling words of agreement, not wanting to really go into it. You could barely fit anything else in your life with your research on victims, how were you supposed to fit training in there? “I mean it would probably have to be in the evening and that means I’d have to walk home at night alone, and with the way things are,” you paused for a moment, “I guess I’ll think about it.”

“I’d come with you,” he assured.

“Oh yeah, and watch me swim laps for hours, how entertaining.” You rolled her eyes.

“I can study while I’m there. Besides, you’d do the same.” He smirked slightly.

When the two of you arrived home, Light was quick to make his way to his room, without so much as checking in with his mother. You let out a sigh before you sat down on the lounge to watch the news. You could feel yourself building almost an immune system to all the horrific news.

***

Light closed his door gently, despite wanting to slam it in panic. He made his way over to his window and gently pulled a part of the curtain back, he could, in fact, see that Ryuk was telling the truth, someone had been following him. He sighed and turned the light into his room, wanting to present himself as the studious high schooler.

“hyeh, hyeh, hyeh, well Light you sure played that one off smoothly, pretending to be on a phone call to talk to me, a wise move.”

“Yeah well I can’t have (Y/N) know about you, talking out loud to myself will make me seem crazy, also, if someone is following me talking to you when they can’t see you wouldn’t be a smart move, it would make me look insane and more suspicious.”

“What’re you going to do next?”

“L suspects a high school student. Fair enough, I just need to test just how much the Death Note can do, and with the help of Dads police files – I’ll have my results back in no time.”

***

The weekend is the one time that you felt at peace. Especially Saturdays, it was always a perfect time to relax and get everything done, Sundays only reminded you that you had school the next day, you had recently dedicated it to studying for your entrance exams and keeping up on Kira – which had been extremely effective as school didn’t block you from checking the news. Saturdays, however, were the days you chose to talk a walk downtown and grab a coffee, a day to yourself. It was all you needed. You picked up your house keys and grabbed your coat and bag. You glanced over at yourself at the mirror and made your way over to Light’s room, you knocked on his door softly, you heard him fumble around his room, assuring you that he was coming. You let out a sigh and leaned on the door frame waiting for him to unlock the door.

“Do you need anything?” He asked, once he opened the door, nearly as always, he looked distracted as usual.

“I’m heading into town; do you need anything? Thought I should ask so an incident like last time doesn’t happen,” you reached into your bag and pulled out your phone and waved it slightly, “even have my phone this time.”

He glanced between you and the phone while you put it back in your bag and nodded slightly, “No I’m fine, are you seeing Matsuda?”

You were taken aback by his question and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, “I have nothing planned if that’s what you mean.”

“I see, so just the usual then?”

“I need to clear my head; it’s been crazy this week. You’re more than welcome to come.”

Let the man do his studies (Y/N).

You laughed slightly, clutching your bag, “No worries, I’ll see you this afternoon.”

He raised an eyebrow, before assuring you, “If I didn’t have any work to do, I’d come, maybe if I wrap up early, I’ll give you a call.”

You smiled and nodded before you made your way down the stairs. You were excited to get to your favourite café and read a book. Your friends had invited you to go shopping and grab a bite to eat, you knew it would quickly turn into a situation where the girls would want to go hang out with the boys, while you had no problems with the guys, you didn’t want to spend this particular free day worrying about other people’s drama and who liked who and who’s allowed to talk to who. You loved them all dearly, but you needed a break.

The moment you entered the café the smell of the food was the first thing to hit you, you had instantly felt comforted while you made your way over to a table at the corner of the café. You glanced through the menu, even though you knew what you would be getting as you hardly deviated from your routine. After ordering your usual you immediately dived into your book, it was a unique find at a thrift store, the plot description on the back had immediately drawn you in, a man who lived in a world where supernatural powers were common, was caught walking a thin line of good and evil, torn between the sides, the only thing causing him to walk this line is that on the side of evil a loved one who he knew had good intentions, that they were more than their choices. The book seemed to be a philosophical debate about how subjects of good and evil aren’t just black and white.

Seeing him in such a way only brought pain to me, such a darkness around his light. How could someone I love, care for, and would dedicate my life to, be drawn to this side of life? What had made him like this? Was I not there for him? As I sat at the kitchen table, taking bites from my pasta, I watched him across from me, he played with his food, pushing it around the plate, seeming bored more than anything, as though he was waiting for any excuse to leave and never come back, to go to bed and drown the rest of the day away. Forget everything and pretend as though I was not there watching over him.

I wanted nothing more than to ask him why he was like this, why he no longer wished to talk to me. Looking into his now dark glazed over eyes I couldn’t help but to think: was this truly the boy I knew from my childhood? He had changed so much from the bright-eyed boy I once knew, the boy whose most deviant behaviour was to sneak out at night to visit me when he was scared, even then, he would only become more stressed that someone would find out that he wasn’t in his bed. The boy who would stay up late with me watching old movies and laughing about the little things in life. That boy who I cared so much about, where had he gone? Was he still there? If he was still there – was there a chance that he would ever come back or even want to come back?

At what point was this man no longer the man he used to be; how much change needs to happen to him before he’s a new being entirely? I don’t want to believe that he is different, I don’t think I am physically capable, “Thomas? Is everything alright?”

He seemed hesitant to answer, not willing to look at me in the eyes, he stabbed a piece of his pasta with his fork before twirling it around, looking at it as though it was so fascinating, as though it were a body part and he was examining it, which seemed to only make me feel sick to my stomach, “I’m fine. You’re the one who’s on edge.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You’re acting as though something's wrong, or that the way the world is changing is for the worse.”

“I don’t think perverse actions are the correct direction, yes.”

He just smiled, scrapping his fork on the edge of his plate to slide the pasta off, before he went back to pushing it around again, no true strategy to it all, or perhaps there was, perhaps for Thomas he was organising his thoughts, “See, you call it perverse. A term that usually comes with a negative connotation.”

“You’re trying to analyse my words?”

“No,” he shrugged simply, “just pointing it out to you. You express your distaste for how the world is changing but you’ll defend me to your grave. Some would find that hypocritical.”

“I can have a different opinion to you and still be your friend.”

“Over this topic though? This perverse topic?” he challenged, he stared at me intently in the eyes, I wanted nothing more than to disappear in the abyss, for those eyes that used to look at me with such joy and happiness to now look at me in this threatening stance, it made me feel so strange, as though I were prey in headlights, or that he was a lion waiting to pounce. He broke the eye contact when he dropped his fork to his plate with a clatter. He picked it up and placed it near the sink before he left to his room.

“Excuse me miss, here’s your order.”

You looked up from your book and saw a smiling waitress who placed your food and coffee on your table, you gave her a quick smile and gave her your thanks before she made her way back to the kitchen. You marked your place in your book before you closed it to take a bite of your muffin. While you examined the cover. It was almost amusing to you how the cover was so luring to be some type of fun-loving action story of fantasy. Only for it to be an almost psychological thriller of twists and turns, intertwined with philosophical debates. It was such a juxtaposition, the cover protector to the hardcover book being brightly coloured, of two men who seemed to be each other's antagonists, dressed in an almost superhero and supervillain -Esque way. But yet, if you were to take to protector cover off to look at the hardcover, it was a simple black design with an ashtray and a gun. They were each so different from each other. It simply had to be done on purpose.

You stretched out and took a sip of your coffee. Perfect as always. Your ears perked up when you heard the sound of your phone, the small bleep of the text message. You reached into your bag and looked through the message.

LIGHT (1)

Hey, I think I should be done soon, if you’re still out we can grab a coffee? I definitely need to stretch my legs after all the study

You were nearly shocked by the prospect of Light wanting to have coffee with just you, you couldn’t help but smile. You were about to answer his text before you received another message.

LIGHT (1)

If we can’t I think we defiantly need to watch a movie tonight. It’s been a hard week for both of us.

You looked down at the message for a moment, a movie? Just you and him? Or as a family event? You wanted to play it off coolly, you didn’t want to assume anything.

LIGHT

I’m okay with either! Sayu will love that too!

No offence to Sayu but I think you and I need it more.

We’ll do both, I’ll see you in a bit.

Chapter Text

You sat on the lounge; your knees tucked to the side while you placed the duvet you had grabbed from your room over you while Light made popcorn. It all felt so strange to you, usually, if you were to have a movie night, Sayu would join, and sometimes Lights mother and father would join if the moment arose. But to sit in the lounge room, late at night when Sayu and Light’s parent were all in bed. If there was a chance you and Light watched a movie alone, it was in the afternoon when no one was interested in the film or because the rest of the family left during the film. You glanced over at Light in the kitchen, you could only make him out through the glow of the microwave and the TV, apart from that the house was submerged in compete darkness.

When Light returned with popcorn in a bowel, he grabbed the video and injected it. You hadn’t even asked what movie you’d be watching. He sat down on the lounge next to you and took some of the duvet before he placed the bowel between the two of you.

“So, what’re we even watching?” You looked over at him, already a piece of popcorn in his fingertips.

“The Ring,” he shrugged, “the Americans made their own version, I’m curious how accurate it is, I got it a while back but haven’t had a reason to watch it, and you also don’t need help translating.”

You took a piece of popcorn, adjusting yourself to get comfortable, “Fair enough, my mother used to tell me that story as a kid, then I read the book,” you shuddered before taking a bite, “so creepy.”

He chuckled, “Seriously? Your mother told you that stuff?”

You nodded, not being able to help yourself from letting out a laugh, “Yeah, practically traumatised me.”

“Well you’ll be fine,” he joked while he rubbed your back, “I won’t let that happen.”

“Oh, you a God or something?” you laughed, eyes fixed on the TV.

“Who’s to say,” he joked back, you could feel his arm leaving you, something you didn’t want to happen. You glanced to your side, he sat so casually, while you were curled up, he only had his leg crossed, “you think they’ll make a sequel? Hollywood and all.”

“Over my dead body.” He chuckled while he stared into the screen, you just shook your head with a chuckle before taking another bit of popcorn.

While the movie continued on you had eventually moved closer to Light from your constant jumping from the scares and readjusting yourself. Within the film Rachael had just found her son watching the tape, over the course of that time you had moved closer to Light, finding yourself getting scared, remembering your childhood stories and finding the only logical way to handle this was to be closer to a human being. To which Light found hilarious how jumpy you were from it all. You could hear him chuckle every time you jumped. You would roll your eyes or hit his shoulder from the comments but it didn’t stop you from sitting closer to him and resting your head on his shoulder as you watched the movie.

You didn’t remember falling asleep. You only remembered waking up, your body seeming to be rising up and down. As you slowly came to consciousness, you found that you weren’t in bed, you glanced around and saw that you were still in the lounge room, the credits rolling from the video, you adjusted yourself slightly and you felt pressure applied to your hip. It all seemed to come together for you at once, you were sleeping on Light, your head on his chest, you could see it gently rising and falling, the rhythmic sound of his heart comforted you, and seemed to soothe you. You paused for a moment, how had this happened? When you glanced to your side to see where the pressure had come from, while you couldn’t see completely, you could see the clear outline underneath the duvet of what must have been Light hand. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, and found your thoughts frantically flying around, were you too heavy? Was he asleep too? was he awake and desperately wanted to get up? Were you bothering him?

“Is overthinking a talent of yours?”

His voice almost made you jump, far worse than any jump scare you had seen in the movie. You glanced up at him, you had tried to move so you’d be sitting up but his hand had kept a firm hold on your hip, as though to tell you that you could still lay down, “Do you have a talent on calling it out?”

“I think so yes.” He smiled slightly. You took this moment to gather the position you were in, Light had his back against the arm of the lounge with his feet laid out on the end of the lounge, while you were laid between his legs. You found it almost sweet that he had covered you with the duvet, but couldn’t help to wonder how he managed to get you into this position as all you could last remember was sitting down with your legs tucked to the side against Light.

“How’d you sleep? You missed the best part where she comes out of the TV.”

You shuddered, “no thank you, I think I’m good.”

Your response only seemed to make him laugh, “I’m sure you would’ve loved it.”

“Oh yes, definitely, mm-hmm.” You joked.

Your head still rested on Light’s chest and you couldn’t believe how steady his heart rate was, yours was through the roof – perhaps you should get that checked out. You lazily watched the rolling credits on the screen when you felt Light’s fingers tracing patterns on your hip over your pyjama pants, you felt cold goosebumps travel up your body and you had to physical refrain yourself from shuddering. The action reminded you of how you would non-thinkingly run your hand over your notebooks while you were day dreaming, it almost felt like that same action, was Light thinking about something? He moved underneath you and you took that as a sign that he was getting uncomfortable and moved yourself to sit up, only to find yourself to be pulled back down after he adjusted himself. You rolled over to your stomach, your side feeling sore after being in the same position for so long. You felt the dragging movement of Light’s hand moving from your hip to your lower back.

“I hope I didn’t force you to stay like this,” you admitted.

“It’s fine, promise, you make a good blanket,” his hand rubbed your back and you felt your shirt ride up, three of his fingers making contact to your skin when he rested it on your lower back once more. You couldn’t help the small voice inside you wondering if he had done that on purpose, while a larger part of you tried to assure you that it was probably a coincidence it did not help the knot building up in your stomach while you tried to make your body not tense up. His hands felt so cool against your skin, you grabbed part of the duvet to bring it closer to you in an act of trying to get warmer but in actuality trying to hide your face from Light. The thoughts of his hand travelling up your body and exploring you plaguing your mind. You bit your lip to try and ease your mind. It would be so easy for him, if he wanted to, to guide his hand up underneath your shirt, to pull you closer to him, to kiss you. You wondered how his lips would feel against your neck, would Light be the type to whisper sweet nothings? Did he prefer to savour a moment or was he into the heat of the moment?

“What’re you thinking about?” His voice sounded distant, like a faint memory. You looked up at him and folded your arms on his chest under your chin.

“Why are you so concerned what goes on in my head?” you smiled, a playful challenge to him.

“Because I find you riveting,” he shot back, with a smirk, “I’m sure you can understand that.”

“Oh?”

“Well don’t you want to know what’s going on in my head?”

You wanted to hide your head in your hands to cover your blush, but you knew the drill, you would control yourself and look nonchalant over his comment, “Sure I do.”

Light pulled you up closer to him, causing your face to be closer to him, “Then I’m sure you can understand the torment of wanting to know.”

You didn’t respond, you struggled with making sure you didn’t have your gaze wander down to his lips, you only looked into his eyes or glanced to some parts of the room. Even in the dark light, you could feel his intense stare on you. You were so close to him; you could feel his breath on your lips. You just wanted to lean forward, to initiate the kiss, the tension of staying there, pulling at your stomach. You could now feel your heart beat in your ears, and on a shameful level within, between your legs. His hand was still on your lower back and you felt him move it smoothly down your side on your upper thigh.

You leaned in closer to him, his other hand moved towards your back, you closed your eyes preparing for the impact of the kiss – only to be caught off guard when you heard the piercing sound from the TV of the colour bars appearing. As though you snapped to your senses, you pushed yourself back and tried to act normal, “God it must be so late, we better get to bed.” You were the first to rise from the lounge and you grabbed the duvet, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at Light, but you could feel his gaze on you while he got up and picked up the bowel from the floor.

You made your way upstairs and threw the duvet on the bed. Your lamp illuminated the room and you could feel your heart racing. You were defiantly frustrated, sexually and at yourself while you thought back on the interaction, one arm hugging your waist while you bit the skin of your thumb. You stood in your room, staring down at your bed, playing the scene back in your mind. Judging yourself for being so indulgent. As if I want my first kiss with Light to be on a dan couch – no you shouldn’t even want to kiss Light stupid. But he’s so beautiful and - you shook your head and paced back and forth. You only stopped when you heard a soft knock on your door followed by Light entering.

You looked him up and down for a moment, you had thought he’d come up here to explain himself and perhaps tell you to back off, yet, he seemed so relaxed, he leaned on your door frame and had his eyes on you, the only break of contact being a quick glance to your bed, “That was a good movie, we should do it again.”

“Yeah, family movie nights are always great,” you smiled.

“Sure, but I’m meaning it as in just us.” There was a slight tug at his lips to be a smile, he pushed himself off the frame and made his way over to you, “your company is a treasure.”

You weren’t sure what to say and had only nervously laughed. You glanced down at the floor for a moment, not being able to meet his gaze. You felt him lean in closer to you and brush your hair away from your ear “and I still want to know what’s going on in that head of yours.” That comment sent chills down your neck; your knees felt weak. How was he capable of this?

“Goodnight, (Y/N). If you have trouble sleeping, you know where I am.” He smirked at you before he left your room, closing the door.

You plopped down on your bed, resisting the urge to scream in your pillow.

Damn you Light Yagami.

Chapter Text

“I’ve written more poetry since we last met up.”

You passed your notebook to Matsuda; he couldn't hide the smile of excitement on his face as he grabbed it from you and flicked through the pages to find the new entries, it was almost in a clumsy manner of him trying to have the papers gracefully flip through his fingers but chunks flipping instead. You hadn’t originally planned to meet up again with Matsuda since your last coffee with him. You couldn’t help yourself in the end, you couldn’t find a reason not to meet up with him. You felt as though you needed to see and be around with someone who was consistent with how they acted around you. Ever since you had watched The Ring with Light, you were only receiving hot and cold readings from him, which only made you feel insecure about yourself. As though you did something wrong. There’d be moments when he’d linger around you for the moment longer than what he needed. The secret touches to your hand when he’d walk past you, the little smirk he would send your way when you were reading in the lounge room. Yet, there’d be moments when he wouldn’t notice you, or wouldn’t even talk to you once the both of you were home. A part of you knew that it was likely it was due to his stress about school, he had been locking himself in his room far too often to study.

You watched Matsuda read your poem. He was so concentrated as his eyes darted back and forth through the lines. You were curious about what he would think of it if he’d like it or not. While his hair wasn’t incredibly long, it was long enough to call into his eyes while he read, which for you, only seemed to add to his boyish charm. Once he finished, he looked up at you with a smile on his face, “You have a talent, (Y/N), are you sure you’re not going to be a writer?”

You nodded before you grabbed your notebook back, “No, I’m still set on being a lawyer, although, now I’m thinking of doing a double degree and I might go into criminology. I’m not too sure yet, but I do want to work within crime.”

He chuckled slightly, “You have so much drive and passion, I know I said it before, but I know you’ll do amazing whatever you do.”

“It honestly means a lot to hear that,” you smiled, before you added in a joking tone while you laughed at yourself slightly, “don’t think it’s the right way to find a husband, I’ll be so deep in work.”

“I'm certain you’ll find someone; anyone would be lucky to have you.” He smiled brightly when he said that to you when you looked into his eyes you could only see sincerity. How could someone be so pure and positive?

You laughed nervously, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, “You’re far too flattering to me Matsu, your girlfriend must be so lucky.”

It was his turn to nervously laugh, he rubbed the back of his head biting his lip slightly while he searched for the right words to say, a soft pink blush formed on his cheeks, “Uh, yeah she probably would be if I had a girlfriend.”

“You just need to find the right person, I’m sure the girls must be all over you.”

“Oh god no,” he shook his head, “I’m not seen as that charming, and there aren’t any women who I work with that I’m interested in, or at least who I think I have a possible chance with, but even then they’re not really my type.”

You found it odd that Matsuda wasn’t interested in the women at his work, you had visited the police station on days Light couldn’t to give his father lunch. One of the things you had noticed was that there were many beautiful women who worked there, and to think that he wasn’t interested was fascinating to you. It made you believe that he was more likely to care about a woman’s personality.

“Are you interested in any girls Matsu?”

“Uh-” he hesitated for a moment, fumbling with his words, not knowing what to say back to you, when he had seemed to have an idea of what he wanted to say he was interrupted from the ringing of his phone, causing him to jump nervously and answer. You wondered how someone who was a police officer could possibly be so jumpy.

“Hello? Yeah, I’m just out on my lunch break. Sure, I can I’ll be there when I’m done here – wait what? Yes, yes, of course, I’ll be right there. Bye.” He jumped off his seat and grabbed his coat.

“Is everything okay?” you raised an eyebrow.

“An emergency meeting, I have to go,” he said, before he pulled out a scrap piece of paper and quickly jotted down on it with a pen he had in his breast pocket, before he passed it to you, a slight nervous tremble in his hand, “call me if you want to meet up again, I’m always free to talk to you, no matter what it is.”

You smiled when you took the paper, his handwriting was rushed but eligible. You smiled and waved goodbye to him while he rushed out, while looking so serious about wanted to get back to work, he still just looked like a young boy who was late for class. While you started to pack up your things into your bag, you entered his number into your phone’s contacts with a slight smile, you would probably send him a text later in the day, maybe you’d call him.

The moment you got home you laid down on your bed. You couldn’t even find the energy to get up, you looked through your phone for a moment, text messages, missed phone calls, the works. Although it wasn’t anything that truly drew you in, you placed your phone on your bedside once you rolled over and reached out to open your drawer, pulling out a photo of you and Light while also grabbing your red ribbon. You were tempted to grab your phone again and message him to see how his ‘outing’ as he had put it with his friend was going.

There was an inch of jealousy within you regarding the outing. Why couldn’t he take you? You sighed and placed the photo next to her before she tied her hair back with the ribbon. You laid back down, the photo laid on your chest while you stared up at the ceiling. You set your alarm to wake you in time for dinner before your eyes slowly closed and you fell to sleep.

The moment you woke from the buzzing of your alarm you were met with confusion, the moment you turned it off you looked around, you were covered with your duvet and the photo that had been resting on your chest was on your bedside. You rubbed your face in an attempt to wake yourself up before you got up out of bed, you could already hear Auntie Yagami calling out for dinner.

The moment you existed your room, you saw Light leave his, he was almost startled to see you, “(Y/N), how was your day?”

You shook your head slightly, “Yeah, it was good. How was your date?”

“Not a date,” he quickly corrected you before he followed you down the stairs, he then added in a joking tone, “if it were a date, I’d do something far more exciting than Space Land.”

You forced a chuckle, still feeling an edge of jealousy in the pit of your stomach, “Cute.”

He seemed taken aback by your blunt answer but nevertheless followed you to the kitchen and sat down next to you at the kitchen table, taking his usual right side of the table, you had always had the left side, he assumed this was because you could refill your class at the sink faster.

You always admired Auntie Yagami’s cooking, she always seemed to make the perfect meal no matter what. You were amazed that everyone had made it to dinner that night, Sayu had decided to eat in the lounge room while Lights parents and the two of you sat at the kitchen dining table, Lights father across from you and his mother across from Light. Light had his left hand resting on his leg, pulling at loose threads.

“So Light I heard you went on a date today?” His mother smiled sweetly.

You forced a smile while you felt your jaw clench.

 “Too bad you suffered from a bus-jacking,” his father said coolly while he took a sip of his tea.

“Light?!” his mother gasped, her hand flew to her mouth, “are you okay?”

That you didn’t know, you looked at him, shock was written all over your face, although he didn’t look at you, he just had his usual nonchalant expression on his face.

“It’s fine mum, I was just lucky enough an FBI agent was on the bus with me at the time, no harm done in the end,” he shrugged, “also I wouldn’t call it a date; besides I have my eyes set on someone else.” He made a soft glance at you, the left hand next to you that had been pulling at loose threads moved over to your thigh. Your eyes widened slightly, and you glanced over at him, but he didn’t look at you, just continued to eat.

“Aw, that’s out Light. Well, I’m sure if you just tell her how you feel and I’m sure everything will work out fine.” She smiled sweetly at him.

His hand squeezed your thigh slightly before he nodded in agreement, “Thanks mum, I’ll take great note of that.”

You continued to keep your head down and eat while Light and his parents continued to eat and discuss with each other at the table.

“Oh, (Y/N) that reminds me, your parents called, they wish to speak with you as soon as they can.” Lights mother smiled at you.

You raised an eyebrow slightly, “What, why? Did they say what’s going on?”

“Your mother said she wanted to discuss your results with you, to see what you wanted to do for your future.”

“I’ve already discussed that with her, she must have forgotten,” you said hesitantly, “you know my mother, she tends to forget the little things in life, her business is what matters the most.”

You felt Light’s thumb rub your thigh, but it seemed to be more of a comforting tactic than anything else, “I could come with you if you like?”

“Oh no thank you,” you then added under your breath, “I don’t need to be lectured how you’re better than me.”

“Well, I’m sure your prospects of being a lawyer will impress them very much.” She smiled sweetly at you.

“Thank you, auntie,” you paused slightly, your fork pushed your food around your plate for a moment, “I think I’m going to go to bed. Thank you for dinner auntie.” You pushed Lights hand off you before you placed your plate on the sink. You bid them all goodnight before you made your way to your room.

You checked your phone once more, to check if your mother had even bothered to message you. Nope. Nothing.

“Thanks, mother,” you rolled over to stare at the wall. The more you stared, the more it felt like it was expanding, stretching beyond your reach, ready to consume you in a way that wouldn’t kill you – but it would at least make you disappear. The idea comforted you for a moment, it felt like the same way how your covers would lay over you and soon after you’d fall into a deep slumber, neither existing or disappearing. But just in a peaceful state. Your eyelids felt heavy, the edges of your eyelids stung, although, you couldn’t pinpoint if this was because you were about to cry or if it was because you were just so tired. When you closed your eyes and felt the burning tears slide down your cheeks, it was then your brain clicked with your heart and realised that it was because you needed to cry. You bit your lip to try and not to sob, you didn’t want to bring attention to yourself. You couldn’t.

“Damn it,” you got up from your bed and wiped your eyes, you just needed a warm shower and then you could go to bed and forget the world; you grabbed your towel and made your way over to the bathroom, the moment you had opened your door you saw Light making his way up the stairs towards you, “leave me alone, Light.”

“(Y/N).” he attempted to grab your attention, but you just pushed your way to the bathroom, about to slam the door in his face before he stopped it with his foot, “(Y/N).”

“Can’t you just leave me alone?” you sighed, “I just want to shower and go to bed.”

“I know – I just wanted to say that if it was me that made you uncomfortable, I’m really sorry.”

Your mouth was agape, you wanted to say something, but you were caught for words, he was worried about what happened at dinner? You smiled slightly, letting out a sight before you shook your head and opened the door more, so you weren’t crushing his foot, “No, Light. It wasn’t anything you did, just family stuff.”

He leaned against the bathroom door and nodded slightly, “I’m still sorry though.”

You felt the heat rush to your cheeks, and somewhere new, “You really don’t need to be sorry.” You looked up at him and smiled slightly.

He leaned closer to you, his lips slightly parted, his eyes seemed filled with something that you hadn’t fully seen in them before, you felt his warm breath on your neck, your eyes fluttered closed for a moment, taking in the sensation, “Let me know when you’re out okay?”

Of course, the moment he pulled himself away he had that smirk on his face. He knew what he was doing to you.

***

You weren’t exactly sure what Light meant by letting him know when you were finished up in the shower. The moment he suggested that the two of you would share a bed that night until you felt at ease again and not on the verge of panic. Which you were fine with. Yet, the moment you made your way to his room he shook his head.

“No, I think we should use your room, it’s your safe space, right?”

He wasn’t wrong, your room was where you felt the most at peace, but you didn’t expect him to want to be there. You just gave him a short nod while he placed your hand on your back and led you to your room.

It was small things like that, his hand on your back. The way he checked you were okay while you got into bed, if you needed more blankets if you were comfortable before he would get in, that made you think Light would make a wonderful husband. Not that you ever expected him to be your husband. Although, you most certainly wouldn’t say no.

The moment he curled up next to you, you felt yourself sink in his arms, wanting nothing more than to feel close to him. His arms wrapped around you to pull you closer, his fingers gently played with your hair before he whispered to you, in a way that somehow now gave you goosebumps, “I know I keep repeating myself at this point, but it wasn’t a date, and I am sorry if you were uncomfortable tonight.”

You rolled over to face him, you forced a joking tone to come off as okay, “Why does it matter to you so much if I think it’s a date?”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, he just stared at you, you could practically hear him giving you ten thousand responses.

“Who’s the one with the loud mind now?”

He seemed to be amused by your words and pulled you closer with a soft smile on his face.

“And Light.”

“Hmm?”

“Dinner tonight was nice.”

Chapter Text

You threw in your swimmers and coat in your gym bag, double checking you had everything you needed including some cash in case you wanted to grab food on your way home. Once you were sure you had everything you grabbed your bag and made your way to Light’s room, giving a sharp knock at the door. When he had opened the door and looked down at you wearing a baggier button-up and pants than you usually would, he was more than confused.

“What’s the occasion?” He raised an eyebrow,

“I’m following your advice; I’m going to try and get back into swimming.” You had a soft smile on your face while you spoke to him and it seemed to make him smile also.

“That’s great! Do you possibly want to leave later? I’m just really caught up in work then I can come with you?”

You shook your head with a slight chuckle, “I’m just going to go now while I’m motivated, besides I want to get back in time to see the night news. I’ll see you when I’m back!”

“Alright, let me know when you’re back yeah?”

“Ugh, so overprotective, Light!” you teased before you ran down the stairs, “I’ll be back tonight!”

***

You tapped the wall and stood up immediately, removing your goggles, “Anti-fog my ass,” you muttered to yourself before you cleaned them in the pool water and reached up for your drink bottle. The sun was almost fully set, a warm orange glow filled the water, the cold water of your bottle made you feel more relaxed and refreshed, it felt like ice compared to the pool water. You glanced to the side and saw a man sitting down at the bench, he had been there when you had first arrived at the pool, but there were many other swimmers there so you had just assumed he was waiting for a friend or had recently got out of the pool, however, now there weren’t any more swimmers apart from yourself, which only gave you more anxiety. You felt a shiver go down your spine, like the cold water down your throat. Stop being so paranoid. You pulled yourself out of the pool and immediately grabbed your gym bag and made your way to the restrooms.

You could feel your heart racing in your chest, a part of you prayed that he would leave soon or that he was just waiting for someone, maybe he was waiting for a friend to come? You hurriedly put your clothes on, you were still buttoning up your shirt as you left the restroom, you just wanted to get out of there as fast as you could. A small part of you wished you accepted Light’s offer to come with you. You pulled out your phone and looked through your contacts.

You couldn’t call Light, he’d be busy right now, he was thoroughly in his studies when you had left earlier that day, but there was someone you could call.

Matsuda.

You quickly dialled his number and out of the corner of your eye, saw the man get up from his seat. You picked up your pace as you walked and made your way outside, the moment he picked up and said hello you almost jumped from being so scared, “Ma-Matsu, can you come get me? I’m at the pool and there’s this gu - I just don’t want to walk home alone-” you yelped in fear when you felt yourself being pulled then pushed against the wall, cutting you off from talking to Matsuda.

“If I were you, I’d be really quiet.” His forearm was pressed against your throat and he placed his legs between yours to keep you from moving. He smelt of mint that made you feel incredibly dizzy from its strength.

This couldn’t be real, this couldn’t be the man, this stuff doesn’t happen, not to you, you didn’t want to look at his face, you remembered being told if a criminals face is seen they are more likely to hurt an individual, but that was more for workers in retail and banks when they’re being robbed.

“(Y/N)? Are you there? What’s going on?”

“Matsu-” the words were barely a gasp escaping your throat, the man had just pushed his arm down harder on your throat while he silently shushed you in your ear, you could feel your throat and head becoming tight from the lack of air. You struggled against him, you tried to push his arm off you, but he was far stronger. He reached out to grab your phone; your heart fell into your stomach.

He snatched it out of your hand, and he looked down at it, before he could hang up you kneed him in the crotch. He yelled out, doubling over in pain and dropped your phone. You immediately picked it up and ran, he tried to grab you but only managed to have the buttons of your shirt rip off.

“Matsu please I’m at the pool a man is here and he’s trying to – leave me alone!”

“I’m already on my way, hold on, (Y/N)!”

“You bitch,” he snapped at you, you caught sight of his face, dark hair and eyes, a little scruffy, you felt disgusted. He started to pace his way over to you. You took a step back and felt yourself being trapped by the wall of the building.

His eyes were fire, and his smile the devil, there was a brief moment where you acknowledged this may be how it all ends. But you were forced out of your thoughts when you saw him freeze. The sinister look now that of fear. What on Earth?

“D-Demon!” he pointed at you.

You were completely taken aback; you had feared this man mere moments ago, his arm on your throat, ready to do god knows what, yet now he seemed to have completely changed.

He screamed falling backwards, “I’m sorry! Please don’t hurt me!”

You heard the sound of a car horn beeping and turned your head to see Matsu calling out to you from the driver’s seat. You immediately ran over to his car, looking back at the man one more time to see him run away.

Your chest rose and fell rapidly as you tried to catch your breath as Matsuda sped off. It was silent in the car for a moment, you hugged your middle tightly and leaned against the car door, you couldn’t find it in you to speak, the very thought of opening your mouth making your eyes burn  “Thank you for coming here so quick.”

“I was in the area,” he explained, able to hear your curious tone. He shifted in his seat for a moment before he spoke again, “did he do anything? You can tell me if he did and I can see if there’s anything I can do to press charges.”

You forced your eyes shut and tried to control your breathing. You never saw yourself getting in a situation like this. You never had. That man, he was nothing like you had seen before, that smell, you always expected if you were to be a victim in this situation that he would wreak of alcohol and dirt. Not of mint. Mint. You tried to think of what he was wearing, it wasn’t what you were focused on, you hadn’t focused on him at all, your brain was rushing in panic so much you hadn’t thought of paying attention, or did your brain just not want to remember.

“(Y/N)?”

You gasped with a jump before you calmed yourself down, after the assurance that it was just Matsuda. You closed your eyes for a moment only to cause your brain to go back to that scene, flashes of having his arm against your throat, the smell of mint, and those eyes, they stared directly into you yet you couldn’t describe them, you could only see them as evil, filled with dark mischief. You shook your head as though to wake yourself up and to answer Matsuda, you hadn’t even noticed that he had pulled up on the side of the road to park. He was turned in his seat to face you after he turned off the car, “I want to help you, (Y/N). I can’t even imagine how that must have made you feel.”

You were silent for a moment and nodded to him, “I don’t even remember his face, your guess is as good as mine.”

“We can still do something. I promise you; I won’t just let this happen.”

You smiled slightly at the comment and looked up at him, “He didn’t even do anything, I’m okay, I’m just shaken up.”

Matsuda gently reached out, the moment his fingertips brushed against your neck while he brushed your hair away, you flinched slightly, “You don’t deserve this.”

Your skin felt hot where he touched it, and you felt it rush to your cheeks, you weren’t sure if his touch felt this way because of coming off the high of adrenaline or if it was something else.

His hand lingered for a moment, as though he was inspecting the marks on your neck that was slowly forming a purple bruise, he pulled his hand away, “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. Really.”

There was silence for a moment, but it wasn’t a silence of awkwardness or weird tension, there was a comfort to it, knowing that he was there for you and just giving you time to collect your thoughts.
“Do you want to stay with me tonight,” he seemed shocked himself that he had said that but didn’t back down from the offer.

You chuckled slightly, although it seemed to take up all your energy, “As much as I really appreciate the offer Matsu, I think I just want to go home.” You brought your knees close to your chest, you curled up on the seat and stared out the window of the car, it was completely dark while you watched the world pass by.

“Of course, I’m sure the Yagami’s will look after you, I know they will.”

You let out a soft sigh, “Not there Matsuda, I want to see my to my parents.”

He was taken aback by your statement, you never had spoken much about your parents but a common theme he could grasp was that you didn’t get along with them. He found it strange. Nevertheless, he followed your instructions.

You felt the car stop, your eyes focused and you could see the pathway to your house, your real house. A small part of you wondered if your parents would even answer. All you knew was you couldn’t face the Yagami’s. You heard Matsuda make a comment to you, although you weren’t fully paying attention, you just gave a short nod and hum before you left the car.

You looked at the front door, the frosted glass glowing yellow from the lights on the inside. You took a deep breath in before you walked up the pathway and knocked on the door. Your knuckles white while you held onto the strap of your gym bag. Holding back your tears. You slowly counted to yourself to calm down.

The click of the door being unlocked brought your attention away from your fee, and there you saw her, your mother, she hadn’t even dressed for bed yet, her hair was still well done and her uniform on, the only sight of ‘dishevelment’ being her untucked shirt from her grey pencil skirt, “(Y/N)? What on earth are you doing here? What’s happened to your shirt-”

She had stopped herself when she fully looked at your face, the tears streaming down your cheeks as you looked up at her, she stopped herself from speaking further and held the door lightly in her hands, not sure why you were like this, why you seemed so out of sorts, when she heard your shaking voice, “Mum, can I please stay here tonight.”

She gave you a sympathetic look before she fully opened the door and pulled you close to her in a warm embrace, “Of course you can darling.”

She led you inside, she took your bag away from you and placed it down near the shoes, before she sat you down at the kitchen to make you a cup of tea. Your father who had been reading the newspaper, had asked who was at the door, when he looked up from his paper to make eye contact with his wife he had stopped completely when he saw you there. He was unsure how to react and just pulled up a seat for you, to which you accepted.

You didn’t speak of what happened to them, you had just said you were stressed and wanted to be home for a few days. To your surprise, they hadn’t even brought up your career path, a sinking suspicion within them knowing that you weren’t just there because of your studies but didn’t want to push the topic with you.

***

“That’s great! Do you possibly want to leave later? I’m just really caught up in work then I can come with you?” he asked her, she seemed happier than usual, the motivation practically glowing in her eyes. He couldn’t help but smile, in truth, he’d rather go with you at that moment, but he just needed to finish everything.

She shook her head with a slight chuckle, “I’m just going to go now while I’m motivated, besides I want to get back in time to see the night news. I’ll see you when I’m back!”

“Alright, let me know when you’re back yeah?” he raised an eyebrow at her while he leaned against his door.

“Ugh, so overprotective, Light!” she teased before she ran down the stairs, “I’ll be back tonight!”

Light watched her while she left, a little smile on his features before he looked back to his desk. He pulled out the Death Note from his draw before he ripped a piece of paper from it, “Ryuk, keep an eye of (Y/N) for me, won’t you?”

“What makes you think I’ll help that human?”

“Nothing,” he said bluntly – which had shocked the Death God, unable to hide the look of surprise in his eyes - before he waved the piece of the note at the Death God, a hint of persuasion laced in his voice “but it would be far more interesting than being with me in my room all day.”

The Death God just laughed before he snatched the paper from Light, “There’s no way you’d know if I use it for this you understand that don’t you?”

“Of course, but what is the use of worrying about such matters? Either you do or you don’t, but I’m sure it would be more fun my way.”

Chapter Text

(Y/N) hadn’t been home in so long. Light found it rather odd. When he had asked his mother about it she didn’t seem too fazed, she said the (L/N)’s called and said that she had come home and wished to stay there for a while. When Light questioned his mother more about it, she had laughed reminding him that she didn’t have to go to their house if she didn’t want to. Although, it was clear that her presence was missed. But what Light couldn’t shake off was how (Y/N) had called his mother about it and hadn’t replied to his text regarding the subject.

He knew what he had to do when he was back at school, he would have to confront her about it. Ryuk’s laughed about the subject did not help Light’s situation and only made him grow more frustrated. Had Ryuk seen what made her go home to her parents? He knew there was no way the death god would let him in on the secret.

He caught sight of her almost instantly when she walked into school, she had a takeaway coffee in her hand, she was laughing with her friends. Her hair pulled back away from her face and her uniform only slightly unkempt. He knew the girl with the long braid who was hugging (Y/N)’s arm for support while she laughed was Yuri, somehow still trying to have the spotlight on her; and the second girl with short, perfectly straight brown hair was Ena. They were the main girls (Y/N) would hang around with, they were the main trio. Light adjusted his shoulder bag and made his way over to her. She hadn’t seemed to notice him until he called out to her and one of the girls pointed him out. A flash of concern appeared in her eyes before she smiled, “Oh, hey Light.”

“Hyeh, looks like she’s not that keen to see you.”

He desperately wanted to hush the Death God.

“Hey, so you didn’t come home the other night and I think my texts aren’t going through, just wanted to check that everything is alright?” absolute lie, he knew his texts had gone through but she wasn’t answering, and there was no nice way to call her out on that.

“Oh yeah,” she glanced over at Yuri who was still hugging (Y/N)’s arm, looking up at her with wide baby eyes, “sorry I’ve just been stressed about some stuff and needed to talk to mum about my future career path and all that stuff so yeah . . .”

He glanced over to Ena, who only seemed to be holding back some smile which only made him think that either she wasn’t telling him the full truth because of them, or they were in on some joke he didn’t understand, “Well then, would you like to come over this afternoon? Sayu has been missing you and I wouldn’t mind some help with study.”

He immediately noticed Yuri tug at (Y/N)’s shirt, although he wasn’t sure if that was because she wanted her to leave or was excited for her. She hesitated for a moment before giving him a smile, “Uh sure, I’ll see you after school then.”

Yuri pulled her away and said goodbye to him in her high-pitched voice before she went back to talking to (Y/N) about god knows what.

For the rest of the school day he noticed her sticking around her group of seven girls, he didn’t know the names of the others, but he never fully sure a reason to since he never had to talk to them; only this time it really mattered. This was because during the breaks her group was now sitting with his group. He knew Yuri had a crush on him and one of his friends, so it only made sense she’d initiate combining the groups to spend time with each other. During lunch, he would steal glances at (Y/N) who seemed a bit more reserved than usual. On days where she would sit with her friends or even his if she needed a break, she usually was very keen to talk and make jokes, while today she seemed to be more content with eating and watching everyone.

Ryuk groaned walking around in circles around the group, “Light c’mon can we do something? It’s so boring to listen to these humans talk on and on.”

“I’m just going to refill my bottle, do you need me to do yours?” he looked over to (Y/N), he just wanted an excuse to talk to her, as though that would confirm to him that she was okay, that everything was okay – and so he could take Ryuk on a brief walk.

“Could you do mine Light!” Yuri smiled, holding her water bottle out for him, a little flutter to her eyes, and a small smirk on her features. He glanced over at (Y/N) who just held her water bottle up to reveal it was full.

He held in a sigh and grabbed Yuri’s water bottle before he looked around at everyone else, to seem polite, “Anyone else need a refill?”

Taigen, the other boy he knew Yuri had her eyes set on got up with his water bottle in hand, “I could use the walk.”

Taigen was a handsome boy, Light could acknowledge that, while he wasn’t the most academically advanced student, he was brilliant at sports. He had the dishevelled look that the girls seemed to like.

“Light, you seem tense, what’s up?” he said almost too simply while he filled up his bottle.

Light raised an eyebrow slightly before he just shook his head, clearing out the sound of Ryuk’s laugh, “Just the exams, I haven’t been sleeping too well.”

“You and me both. You shouldn’t stress though,” he smiled up at Light, while he screwed the lid back on his bottle, “you’ll do great.”

Light chuckled slightly at the comment before he filled up his and Yuri’s water bottles, “Thanks,” he paused for a moment before he put the lids back on the bottles, “has Yuri driven you insane yet?”

“So negative, Light,” he chuckled, “planning on asking her out to study.”

“Yeah well be careful, she tells every detail to her friends,” he shrugged while they walked back.

“What and we don’t?” he laughed, “I suppose you don’t spill anything on (Y/N) I’m wondering if it’s because you’re noble or if there’s just nothing to tell.”

Light didn’t react to the comment, while on the inside he wanted to snap at him.

“Oh? Not a fan of that are you, well can’t react now Light, don’t want to ruin that perfect image of yours, or whatever it is you think you have. To be honest, if you did something, it might actually be interesting.”

Damn, Shinigami. Acting as a devil on his shoulder.

He faked a laugh, “Ha, I won’t force you to believe either, whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“So secretive,” he smirked before taking Yuri’s bottle from him. By the time they had reached the group, Taigen was fast to give Yuri her bottle, adding a little wink to it before he sat back down in his spot.

Light sat back down, not fully focused on what was being talked about, but from quickly reading the situation, he guessed Taigen had asked Yuri on a study date. Light glanced over at (Y/N) as though sending a message to her who didn’t see that coming? He was glad to see her return a small smile with a slight shrug.

***

He waited by the gate after school, hoping (Y/N) was telling the truth when she said that she would come there to see him. The jeers of Ryuk didn’t help the situation but he just did his best attempts to ignore the Shinigami. He adjusted his bag on his shoulder, a pain starting to emerge in his muscles, he checked his watch briefly, she would have been out of her class a few minutes ago. When he looked up from his watch, he saw waving her arm out to him while she walked over.

“Sorry I’m late, Yuri wanted dating advice,” she explained, “which is a bit strange because she’s had more boyfriends than me.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he assured, a small smile forming on his features, he gestured for her to follow and they started the trek home.

“How has home been?” he asked her, she seemed to watch the footpath while she walked, which wasn’t different from usual, but after not seeing her for a while he just wanted to look at her.

“Okay I suppose,” she nodded, “mum said she got a promotion at work, so that exciting.”

Not exactly an answer he was hoping for, “how have you been?”

“Yeah, I’ve been good, just busy.”

“Hyeh, hyeh, hyeh! How does it feel to have your friends lie to you Light?”

So something did happen when Ryuk watched her the other day, of course, he won’t tell me but at least my suspicions are confirmed, “You know, if you ever want to tell me something, you can. I’ll be here.”

“I know,” she said simply.

“HYEH! HYEH! HYEH!”

Sayu was quick to give (Y/N) a hug the moment they walked through the door to which she only accepted gratefully, “(Y/N) and I are just going to do some study,” he called out to his mum while he made his way upstairs, (Y/N) close behind him.

While waiting for him to open his door, she couldn’t help but notice him fiddling with everything. Had he set up a type of system to see if anyone came in his room? That had to have been something new, she never noticed anything of that kind while she was there, unless she had just never paid attention to him opening his door. She glanced across the way and saw the door to her old room shut, a little paper sign with what looked like to be Sayu’s handwriting stuck on the door:

(Y/N)’S ROOM

She smiled; she must’ve put that there as an act of protection against any guest that would attempt to sleep in it. When she heard the familiar click of Light opening his door, she followed him inside, placing her bag on his bed while she rummaged to find her study books. She was taken aback and almost screamed when she felt his long arms wrapped around her, in the panic all she could manage to let out was a gasp.

“Sorry,” she heard him apologise as his grip loosened on her and she turned to face him, “I just missed you, and I doubt you would have wanted me to hug you in front of your friends.”

He was right, it wasn’t what she would have wanted, but things like that hadn’t bothered him in the past, was he actually the one who was nervous to do so?

She bit her lip slightly in an attempt to stop the tears from her eyes, he had missed her too. A dark part of her mind thought he would be furious at her for just leaving with no word. Without a second thought, she hugged him tightly around his middle and he hugged her back, his hand stroking her hair while his chin rested on the top of her head which only gave her comfort.

Light couldn’t help but notice that a wet patch was forming on his chest, he glanced down at her and pulled away slightly and he saw her wiping her eyes, “Hey, are you alright? What’s wrong.”

She shook her head, “I just really missed you.”

He didn’t want to push it and just led her to sit down on the bed with him while he rubbed her back, “I missed you too.”

“Will your parents mind if I stay the night?”

He laughed slightly, “You live here, you don’t need to ask.” He squeezed her shoulder and she smiled as she wiped her eyes.

“Thank you, Light,” she paused slightly, “we should probably study?”

He held back a laugh, “I actually lied about that. I just wanted to see you.”

She playfully hit him on the shoulder before he pulled her closer and she rested her head on his shoulder, “You jerk!”

“Can’t help it,” he smiled, his fingers running through her hair.

She seemed to relax after that. For the next half an hour they laid back on Light’s bed talking about their exams and friend groups. (Y/N) was on her phone, going through texts to share with Light about Yuri and Taigen. His arm rested under her while she rested her head on his shoulder,

“She’s got a crush on you too, but I think since Tai’s made a move she won’t really try now,” she shrugged slightly before she closed her phone and rolled over to place her phone on his bedside. She rolled back over and laid on her stomach, her elbows propping her up.

“Well, her going for me will be a bit fruitless.”

“Not for her,” she laughed, “she loves the chase. Or so she tells me.”

“The chase is only fun if it’s mutual though.”

She shrugged, “Tell that to her.”

“Perhaps I will,” he chuckled, “Hey, what would you say to another movie night? Or if you’re not up for that a book night?”

“I think, I could do with reading,” she said, “I’ve got a book I really need to finish, and last movie night you tried to give me nightmares!”

He smiled, holding in a chuckle, “Alright, alright. You better use the shower now before Sayu steals it.”

She nodded in agreement. He watched her leave the room and heard her call out a teasing “Saaaaayuuuuuuuu~” before she sprinted, followed by Sayu’s screams.

“(Y/N) DON’T YOU DARE!”

He got up from his bed and shut the door. He pressed his ear against it for a moment to be sure he wouldn’t be heard. He turned to face Ryuk, who had been standing near his window.

“Honestly Light, how do you manage to act like I’m not here? I don’t know if I should be impressed or insulted.”

“Take both, they’re free,” he waved him off, “now, (Y/N), what happened?”

“Hyeh, hyeh, what makes you think I’d tell you?”

“Because,” he stated simply before he sat in his desk chair, “I haven’t been craving apples recently.”

Ryuk’s eyes widened, “Don’t say things like that!”

“What, the truth?” Light raised his eyebrow, “sorry Ryuk, but I can’t help that. Although, perhaps if you were to tell me, I could ask mum to get some from the store.”

“You can’t bribe a Shinigami!”

“How unfortunate,” he shrugged, before he got up from his seat and opened his bedroom door, “Hey mum-”

“Light what are you doing?!”

“When you go to the store next, can you get some oranges instead of apples?” he called out.

“Let’s not be rash about this!”

Light smirked when he heard his mother’s voice call up to him, “Are you sure? I can get you both?”

“No thank you, just oranges please.”

“Alright, alright! Stop it!”

Hmph, “Actually, no you’re right can we get both?”

“Of course, sweetheart, dinner will be ready soon.”

He called out a thank you to his mother before he walked back into his room and sat down at his desk, “So, spill.”

Ryuk rolled his eyes, or at least what Light assumed a Shinigami would look like if they were to roll their eyes, “She was in a situation with a human at the pool that night.”

“What?”

“I used the paper method we talked about and he ran away the moment he saw me.”

“Did he hurt her?” his jaw was clenched.

“No,” Ryuk said simply, “she was grabbed then let go.”

“And you wouldn’t tell me if anything more happened, would you?”

“Nope,”

Light rolled his eyes in return and rubbed his eyes while he thought over it. While he was glad he had sent Ryuk, a small part of him wished he just went to the pool with you, it’d be unlikely for someone to hurt you if he was there with you, it’s easier to attack someone if they’re alone, “And I’m assuming that means you won’t tell me who it is?”

“If I saw him again, I might point him out, or I might not there’s no saying”

“How reassuring.” He sassed back before he grabbed her bag and put it in her room before he knocked on the bathroom door letting her know dinner was soon.

Dinner went as smoothly as usual, and seemed slightly livelier, even if Light’s father was tired from his work on the Kira case. By the time the rest of his family had gone to bed he and (Y/N) were sitting on her bed reading their respective books. Light had settled with reading textbooks while she had chosen to read a novel, he couldn’t remember the title, he could only remember that she had said that it was philosophical. The golden glow of the lamp in her room was all they needed to see their text. When Light had glanced over at her, she was glued to the book and unable to take her eyes away from the page. He smiled slightly and put his book on her bedside and rested his head on her shoulder, reading the page, nothing really sticking in his brain.

She didn’t fail to notice – he would have found it odd if she didn’t notice that he was leaning on her shoulder – and placed the book down on her lap, “Is Light Yagami getting tired?”

He shook his head, “No, just can’t be bothered to read more of that textbook.”

She chuckled slightly, nudging him, “Dork,” she adjusted herself and got under the blankets, shivering slightly.

“Do you need another blanket?”

“I’m not a baby,” she laughed, she stretched her neck slightly, waiting to hear the crack, she noticed Light also got under the blankets with her.

He wrapped an arm around her to pull her closer and grabbed the book, “How about I read to you?”

“You don’t even know what it’s about.”

“I’ll fill in the gaps,” he squeezed her shoulder, “where were you up to? There? Alright . . . It would be foolish of me to ignore that Thomas had something on his mind, yet he wasn’t talking, a common act of him if I were to be honest. Even when we were children he would often keep things to himself, whether if it was something as simple as not liking how the sun was far too bright and would give him a headache to disturbances at home; it was the one thing about him that had stayed consistent throughout the years. He just sat there, flicking through the television. With every click of the remote, he would swing his hand around almost like a dance. A part of me only wished to kneel beside him and take his hand in mine and as him what was wrong. But of course, I didn’t. I just sat down at my seat on the lounge, as though I were stuck, tied in place. Would he even want me to check on him?

“It seemed Thomas had finally settled on watching the news. A report of an alleged terrorist attack on a local council building, twenty-two dead. The more the reporter spoke, and the more I watched him biting his fingernail I found that I just couldn’t hold my tongue, ‘was this your lot?’

“‘my lot? That’s rich.’ He rolled his eyes and adjusted himself in his seat, chewing on the skin of his thumb.

“‘You know what I mean,’ I tried to apologise. I always felt as though I had to apologise to him, not because it was what he wanted out of me, but because I didn’t want to hurt him. I watched him while he got up from his seat and threw the remote at me. He mumbled something under his breath about how he didn’t see why I had to jump to conclusions. I got up from my own seat and followed him to the kitchen, he had opened the fridge and was looking through it. I glanced at his hand on the door, his fingertips rested on a photo that we had taken together when we were teens, back when we seemed closer, ‘People died, Thomas, innocent people, and you think I’m being over-reactionary? Or are you just okay with being a murderer?’

“Thomas glanced at me with a deadpan expression before he grabbed a can from the fridge, the familiar crack sounding when he opened it. He closed the fridge with his foot all the while keeping eye contact with me. Before he made his way to his bedroom, ‘I didn’t-’

“‘You didn’t mean it- I know – you never mean it,” he interrupted me before he opened his bedroom door, he took a step in before he paused for a moment. My heart stopped in my chest, a huge part of me fearing what he had to say, ‘and no. It wasn’t my lot.’ He closed the door behind him.”

Light glanced down at her, expecting to find her asleep from him reading only to see her awake, curled up next to him, her eyes fixed on the page. She looked up at him, almost coming off as a young pet begging you for food.

“Do you want me to continue?” he asked, she smiled slightly and shook her head before she took the book from him and marked the page before she placed it on her bedside. She laid on her side pulling the duvet up to her chin, Light leaned over her and turned the lamp off before he laid down beside her and wrapped an arm around her to pull her closer.

“Light,” he heard her whisper and he looked into her eyes, “you should be careful how you behave around girls. You might give them the wrong impression.”

“What?”

“If you keep doing stuff like this, girls will think you like them. You can really hurt them.”

She rolled over to face the wall and closed her eyes, waiting to sleep to take her away. Although, her ears could not help but perk up when she heard his voice.

“But I don’t do this for anyone else.”

Chapter Text

“(Y/N)! (Y/N)! GET UP LAZY!” the high-pitched voice of Sayu woke her up with her jumping onto her bed. With a groan, she rolled over and rubbed her eyes for a moment. Once open, she could see Sayu holding out her red ribbon for her.

“Did you wake up Light?” she asked, taking the ribbon from her hand and tying her hair up, “or am I your only torture victim?”

“Light’s already up,” she giggled and hopped off the bed, “come on, mum’s already made food!”

She smiled and got up from her bed, and put on her black turtleneck with a long skirt before she made her way downstairs, she could already see Light being pestered by Sayu who had a wide grin on her features, “Sorry I slept in,” she apologised before Sayu ran up to her and grabbed her hand, pulling her over to the lounge, Light following along.

“It’s all that studying you do,” Light teased poking at her shoulder before he sat down on the lounge. Sayu having (Y/N) sit on the floor with her.

“Says Mr Scholar,” she smirked, her back resting against his legs, she leaned forward and picked up a gift wrapped in brown paper with a gold bow, “Here Sayu, this is for you,” she grinned.

Sayu excitedly took to package from her and ripped the paper open, inside a navy box, when she opened the box to reveal a thin silver chain with a dainty flower pendant on it, she grinned widely and jumped onto (Y/N) an uff escaping her when she hugged the girl, “Thank you, thank you, thank you so much! I love it!” the moment she had let (Y/N) go she took the necklace out from the box and put it on.

“I knew it’d look perfect on you,” she smiled, Sayu immediately got up and ran over to her mother to show off the new necklace, (Y/N) chuckled slightly before she reached over to a red wrapped gift and passed it to Light, “and this one is yours, hope you like it I was a bit stuck, you give next to no hints on what you want.”

He chuckled slightly and pointed to a gift that was yours and watched you pick it up before he started to unwrap his, he was taken aback to see that inside the box was a black fountain pen, he hadn’t expected you to get him anything like that, when he looked over to (Y/N) she had a worried look on her face, “Do you like it? I can get you something different if you like –” she spoke on for a bit and Light couldn’t help but smile as her nervousness and cut her off.

“It’s perfect,” he assured her and slid down from the lounge to sit next to you on the floor, he closed the box and placed it down next to him, leaning towards (Y/N), his hand resting behind her while she started to unwrap hers, he wanted to catch every detail of her reaction. She opened the box and gasped when she saw a black notebook, with her initials monogrammed in gold.

“Oh, Light I love it!” she grinned before she pulled him into a tight hug that had almost knocked him over, the lounge being the only thing saving him. She let him go and traced her fingers along the cover, the smile hadn’t left her lips.

“I know you like to write,” he gave a nonchalant shrug, a small smirk on his features.

“Oh, don’t you two look sweet!” Light’s mother's voice came.

“Hey auntie,” she smiled up at her, she already had a camera out to take the traditional photo of the year.

“Come on you two, huddle in,” his mother smiled, bringing the camera up.

Light wrapped an arm around (Y/N)’s waist and pulled her closer, he was more shocked that she had reciprocated and leaned closer to him, a smile on her face which was so close to his, he smiled up at the camera, the familiar click and flash filling the room. He couldn’t help but notice that she still hadn’t moved away and rested her head on his shoulder while she looked down at her notebook. The moment would soon break when Sayu would jump between the two of them, “Don’t forget me!”

“Aww, how could I forget my favourite little sister,” (Y/N)’s teased, pinching Sayu’s cheek, she giggled and swiped her hand away.

“Come on mum!”

***

“I can’t wait to update our Christmas photo,” she smiled up at Light, she was spread out on her bed the photo from last year in your hands. Light had been sitting at your desk leaning on the back of the chair while the two of you spoke. When she glanced at the clock, she could see it was almost midnight, everyone had gone to bed at that point, but the two weren’t tired. He got up from his seat and laid down on the bed next to you to look at the photo, “look at us, you still look like a goof.”

“Oh really?” he chuckled and took the photo from you, “a goof?”

“Yep,” she smiled, giving him a nudge. There was something about being alone with Light that made her feel more comfortable around him and made her more open with him. She cherished those moments, although, it also gave her deep anxiety over if she was coming off too strong, or was coming off as stupid – it was the last thing she needed. She was going to make a comment about how his goofiness was, in fact, something he could never escape before she felt a heavy weight on her from Light pushing her on her back and weighed her down.

“What does that make you?”

The feeling of Light’s chest pressed against hers had caught her off guard, she felt hot all of the sudden, unsure if the heat had risen to her cheeks at that moment, “Uh – what?”

“If I’m the goof what does that make you?”

“Oh,” she let out a nervous laugh, her breath escaping her, the weight of his body almost making it harder to breathe in, “I suppose it makes me mundane.”

There was a short pause while he stared down at her an eyebrow raised before he spoke, “I don’t think so.”

“Abnormal then?” she joked before Light tilted his head slightly with a chuckle adjusting himself to be propped up on his elbow, still towering over her. (Y/N) had to hold the urge to pull him back down, missing the feeling of his weight on her.

“I’d like to think wonderful,” he smirked.

This has to be a sign. He wants you to make the first move so just do it – no god I can’t do that my body is frozen, can’t he just lean down, just a little closer . . .

He moved to rest on his back, a chuckle escaped his lips, “But then again, abnormal fits too.”

Oh.

She hesitantly sat up and pulled the red ribbon from her hair and leaning over to place it on her bedside, “It’s so late, I need some shut-eye.”

She could feel him getting up from her bed, soon followed by his footsteps, when she looked up, his hand was rested on the door frame while he smiled at her, "Merry Christmas, (Y/N)."

Chapter Text

“So, have I missed anything while being away?” (Y/N) asked while she boiled the kettle for her tea.

She didn’t speak to Light about what he had said that night. She had mostly kept quiet about the exchange, yet there was a silent agreement between her and Light that they both knew what the words he said meant. The two had become slightly closer but neither confirming what it was. At the bare minimum, they both knew was that they cared about each other more than what friends did and that it was unique, but neither wanted to give it a word.

“Not too much, I’m sure dad would be fine with me telling you this, he’s working on the Kira case.” Light said, he sat at the kitchen table an empty plate in front of him.

“Wait really?” She raised her eyebrow, the kettle that was boiled and she poured it out for her tea, “I want to say I’m shocked, but he is a great detective.”

“I’m sure he’d appreciate it,” he smirked, “So are you studying today?”

“Nope,” she said simply as she sat down across from him at the table, crossing her legs, it’s New Year’s Eve. I’ve got a party.”

“A party? With who?”

“The girls, I wasn’t sure about holding it but after all the stuff that’s happened, I need something to get my mind of it,” she smiled. Of course, she wasn’t exactly lying, she did want to get her mind off everything and have a break, and she didn’t want Yuri to take control and hold one of her giant parties. While they could be fun, they could also be extremely overwhelming. So, (Y/N) had made a deal, Yuri got to pick music, and (Y/N) would handle the rest, she shockingly agreed to those terms.

“You never told me you were holding a party?” he raised an eyebrow at her.

“I didn’t think you’d want to come,” she shrugged, “if you want to you can come with me to my parents to help organise the house. They’ve left Japan on holiday.”

“Which leaves you the house?” there was a slight smirk on his features as he had started to connect the dots together.

“You bet,” she smiled, “so what’d you say? I’m pretty sure Yuri and Ena are inviting plus ones – probably more, and you could be my plus one.”

“Well then, with such an invitation I can’t say no, can I?” he laughed.

“I’d hope not,” she smiled with a tilt of her head, “I’d hate to have to invite someone else, then again Matsu might want to party!”

He rolled his eyes at the comment, “I don’t see why you insist on being around him.”

“Oh don’t be jealous Light, as long as you come, there’s nothing for you to worry about!”

*          *          *

 “I’ll get the door,” You assured the others when the sound of the doorbell rang through the house. You had to hand it to Light, he was a huge help in setting everything up in the house, he had helped you in every way he could, he had set out the food and helped with moving the tables and chairs out of the way so there was more room for everyone to roam around. All in all, you had appreciated his help. You made your way to the front door and opened it with a smile on your face, sure enough, there was Yuri, the part of her dress that you could see under her coat was shimmering from the entryway lights. You smiled brightly at her as she pulled you into a hug, “hey Yuri!”
“Hey, so glad to see you, has the party kicked off or did you all wait for me?” she winked at you as she entered the house, hooking her coat on the rack, she looked you up and down eyeing your little black dress, “I love your dress! Oh, sweetie why didn’t you show me? I love it!”
Her compliments never failed to make you blush and yet you would always laugh them off, “Waited for you obviously,” you nudged her playfully while you walked to the dining room where Yumiko and Ena were snacking, “oh I only got it the other day, thank you though.”
“Oh look, the princess has arrived,” Yumiko smiled while Ena ran over to give Yuri a hug.

“You all look so beautiful!” Yuri smiled at them all, “hey (Y/N) I’m going to go change the music soon is that all good? Thank you!!”

The girls continued to talk and while they were all distracted, you had moved over to the hallway to get a breather away from the crowd, smiling to yourself while you heard them all chatter and laugh the night away. You couldn’t take her eyes of Yuri in her gold sequinned dress while she danced with the girls, her hair up in a neat bun. She looked breath-taking; the dress hugged her slim frame ending in her mid-thigh, the thin straps accentuating her collar bones.

She gave the classic twirl in front of the girls. Her pearly whites on display, the gold dress sparkling in the light as she moved. The girls immediately praised her with compliments which had only made her blush. Her hair was hanging loosely down her back and she turned back to face her full-length mirror, moving her hair over her shoulder, “I’m not sure about my hair though,” she bit the inside of her lip while she thought for a moment, playing with her hair.

“Actually,” (Y/N) got up from the soft red covers of Yuri’s bed where two others had been sitting: Yumiko and Niko, she could see Ena laying on the floor looking as though she’d rather be asleep. They were each in their respective outfits, (Y/N) had originally told the group that she hadn’t picked out a dress yet but the truth was that she didn’t want to try it on in front of the group, she wasn’t sure if it would look as good as the rest of the girls’ picks so in her mind, the longer she could hold out on showing them, the better. She stepped behind Yuri and pulled her hair up, “I think up would look cute.”

“Over the shoulder would fit more,” Yumiko said in a bored tone, she rolled over to her stomach to get a better look at Yuri, one of her hands pulling at one of her twin braids, “way cuter and I’m sure Taigen will love it.”

(Y/N) refrained from letting out a sigh and let Yuri’s hair down, fixing any imperfections that had appeared.

Yuri was silent for a moment looking at Yumiko through the reflection of the mirror, before she smiled, “Actually, I think up. We’re going to be dancing and I don’t need my hair getting knotty, besides add a gold tie bracelet would complete this!”

“Your call,” Yumiko shrugged and returned to laying on her back and stretched her arms out.

Yuri turned around and hugged (Y/N) tight, “I can’t wait to see your dress!”

Just by looking at Yuri, you had instinctively fidgeted at your own dress, adjusting yourself and smoothing it out, trying to be more presentable. I must look so stupid – god why did I think this was a good idea?? I want to change, she’s so beautiful, they all are. Having friends as beautiful as you had (while you knew it wasn’t the most important thing about them) had difficulties that often involved you comparing yourself to them, which was a downward spiral. I can’t even go home; this is my house. You rested your head on the wall, your arms crossed over your chest. Not long after, a warm second set of arms wrapped around your waist and a head rested on your shoulder, “What’re you doing in the hallway of all places?” Light asked.

“Just resting,” you smiled at him, turning around to face him. He let you go and led you further down the hall out of sight from everyone. You breathed in deeply, trying to calm herself down and tried to get Yuri out of her mind. Hey, calm down, it’s okay. You looked up at him when he reached the end of the hall, his shoulder leaning on the wall looking at you as you rested your back against it.

“Looks like everyone’s having a good time.” He gestured to where the group was, their laughs eve louder than before.

“Yeah, I think it turned out well, maybe I’ll do this next year.”
“You should,” he smiled, tucking your hair behind your ear, the back of his fingertips resting there for a moment, “will I be invited?”
“Of course, I’ll need someone to help me decorate,” you joked, he didn’t laugh at your statement and just gazed at you for a moment before pulling his hand away, feeling awkward you changed the subject, “did you see Yuri? Her dress is beautiful.”

He gave a slow nod, “I did yes.”

“I’m shocked you’re not out there admiring her instead of hanging out in this dull hallway,” you joked again, not liking the silence after he had spoken.

He smirked slightly and moved in front of you, and arm resting next to you as he leaned toward you, “Why would I care how Yuri looked if I have you to stare at all night?”

You smooth-talking little shit . . . you blushed. You couldn’t think of a witty comeback for him, in a perfect world, you would wrap your arms around him and kiss him but not here, not in front of everyone. It was only when the sounds Yuri putting on her music and a new song started to blast through the house gave her a reason to leave, “Wanna dance?” you smiled and smoothly ducked under his arm, not seeing the somewhat annoyed expression on his face. You grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the hallway.

“I don’t dance,” he tried to explain as he was being dragged away.

“Pfft,” you grinned –the air escaped your lungs when you felt your free hand being grabbed and pulled, which had caused you to lose grip of Lights hand. You looked at the culprit and saw Ena, with a huge grin on her face.

“Come on it’s our song!” she begged and pulled you to the living room next to Yuri who was already dancing with the other girls, a hairbrush in hand, ready to sing the lyrics. The girls had already started to scream from the excitement, Yumiko had raced to the speakers and turned the music up.

Well they say I’m too young

And they call me a fool

Who can’t possibly know my own heart

Yuri grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to her so she could spin you around. Her smile bright as she sang along to the words, she was overly dramatic in her movements as she sang to you, when she had let go of your hand, she placed it over her heart blinking her eyes in mock flirtation.

So they tell me to wait

‘Til I’m finished with school

But right now, is when love wants to start

Yuri continued her dramatic antics, singing to you while you danced, a grin on your face while you sang along. When you had looked around you had seen that most everyone had joined – apart from Light who had taken to leaning on the wall nearby with a drink in hand while he watched everyone, you could still see that small smirk on his features, although you couldn’t help but notice that something was off about him; you gave a friendly wave and gestured for him to come to join you all but to no avail. You looked back to Yuri and the group had moved around you both. You smiled and shook your head, your eyes closed as you moved with the music, a feeling building in your chest that travelled up your body, forcing you to grin as you sang – what perhaps could be closer to a yell – along to the lyrics.

Yumiko had joined Yuri in a duet. There was something about how Yumiko danced, and it couldn’t escape your eye, her movements were far more smooth and flowed far more seamlessly compared to everyone else in the group, even if it was just something that was meant for fun, each movement from her just made sense. You knew she was a dancer, but you hadn’t thought it would show in everything she did. While Yuri seemed to have no sense of grace, her long legs while expected to make her graceful made her look like she was skating for the first time, although whether that was because she was hopeless or being ridiculous was hard to tell.

Let me kiss you, and then,

Let me kiss you again

If you’re ready, ‘cause I’m ready

Ready or not

Yuri placed a hand on your cheek while she sang, her ‘microphone’ passed on to Yumiko who had moved on to dancing with a brunette girl she had invited. You smiled, your cheeks heating up as she moved closer to you before she grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to her and once again spun you around. Everything had fallen into a blur while you continued to dance with her, both of you singing to each other. You didn’t know what it was, but dancing with them at had surged your confidence, and for that brief period of time you cared about nothing except the music, and how it made you feel.

Baby, I can love you, come on over here now

Wait are you ready cuz I'm ready, ready set go boom

You flipped your hair over your shoulder and winked at Light, his eyebrows raised for a moment, as though he hadn’t expected that. You were turned around by Yuri who had stated to catch the eyes of the boys from her sensual movements the closer she danced towards you. You tried to follow her lead but there was something rather intimidating about her presence. She grabbed your hand and lifted it up as she sang the last notes of the song.

“I’m ready, oh-oh-oh-oh-OH!”

The night carried on, you had all stayed up to the countdown into the New Year. New Year, same you, no magical force making you a better person than what you actually were, no magical kiss – shockingly, no one shared the New Years Kiss. It wasn’t so long after that that everyone had started to leave your home. Leaving just yourself and Light – how had graciously helped you tidy up. It was in the early hours of the morning by the time the two of you had finished everything and had started getting ready for bed. Light had mentioned he wanted to go home early in the morning yet insisted that he wanted to stay with you for the night.

You felt far more comfortable in your singlet top and pyjama pants. You had struggled to find clothes for Light to sleep in and had decided to let him use one of your oversized shirts that you had only used on days you lounged around. You pulled your hair back in the red ribbon and gently knocked on the door to check he was dressed, once you heard him say it was okay, you made your way in and smiled, “Sorry I didn’t have anything for you.”

“No, it’s fine, I’m grateful that I can at least change my shirt,” he assured you and pulled the covers down from your bed.

You smiled and climbed into bed and turned the lamp off, leaving the room in darkness while you pulled your covers up. He laid down next to you and he instantly felt you move closer to him, which was so strange to him. It was usually what he did, pulling the strings, making you feel awkward, seeing you blush, yet when you were the one moving closer to him, it wasn’t something he had expected. What made it only worse was that Light was sure that you weren’t even trying, your (E/C) eyes staring at him, blinking slowly, exhausted from the night.

“What’re you staring at?” he finally said, and she just softly laughed and moved so her arms were crossed over his chest.

“Nothing, I’m just happy you’re here,” she smiled and moved so their legs were intertwined, in the blur of the moment Light slightly adjusting himself to restrict the contact, “I’m really happy you came, Light.”

“Of course,” he said coolly, there was no way he’d give away how he felt about you being so close to him, not like this anyway, he wanted to feel in control. He brushed your cheek slightly as though brushing away a stray hair, but truly just an excuse to touch your face and let his hand trail to your back.

You felt those goosebumps again, the ones you had gotten when the two of you watched the movie together. You prayed to whatever god there was out there that he didn’t feel them. The cold feeling that travelled up your body soon replaced by heat. His thigh was between your legs, slightly propped up, there was no way he didn’t think that wouldn’t make your mind trail off, yet you were still nervous, you wanted to test the waters, was he thinking the same as you? You hesitantly leaned forward slightly, your hips grazing along his thigh. He had responded with raising his thigh higher, pressing against you. You could feel your heartbeat in your throat again, your entire body warm. Can he feel my heartbeat against him . . .?  The very thought made you almost embarrassed. The thoughts soon vanished when his warm fingertips started drawing patterns over your singlet top, slowly trailing down to your side before stopping at your ribs, gently brushing them. You hadn’t even realised that you weren’t looking at him, your eyes were closed, and when you opened them, you saw him watching you in what you had expected to be a hungry gaze but only to be surprised it was a gentle one. His hand trailed from your ribs to your back, his warm palm held you close to him while he rolled you over, letting your head rest on his free arm while he laid on his side. His hand left your back and his fingertips trailed back to your side, trailing down to the hem of your top, he wasn’t sly like the last time. The tips of his fingers brushing the material up before he rested his hand on your skin. It was slow, painfully slow, but it only seemed to make you more excited. His hand felt hot against your abdomen, his thumb stroking it before it slid to your side and he leaned closer to you, more goosebumps climbing up your back, his hot breath on your lips. You could hear that he was struggling to control himself, his hand squeezed your side slightly, a breath escaping your lips. He leaned forward, as though asking for permission to kiss you – or maybe even nervous something would interrupt the moment. Your body raised slightly out of instinct and the arm you were resting on pulled you tight to him and his lips met yours. Your eyes instantly fell shut as you sunk back to the bed, the feeling of his tongue on your lip before it entered alone made you let out a groan, which seemed to act as a fuel for him, making it harder for him to remain calm, yet he was still remained composed.

His hand rested on your hip; his thumb tracing patterns. You had propped yourself up on your elbow, a hand cupping his cheek, deepening the kiss. He pulled you closer to him, his lips left yours, biting his own as though savouring the taste. His slender finger rested under your chin, his eyes staring straight into yours with that familiar smirk on his face.

“Sorry it’s not exactly a New Year’s kiss,” he said coolly, “you didn’t exactly make it easy.”

You laughed slightly and rested your forehead on his, “I’m shy.”

“We better get some sleep.”

Chapter Text

The walk to Lights home was refreshing to you. He wasn’t the most public person, but he seemed far warmer while he spoke with you.

“I can’t believe entrance exams are so close I’m so nervous! Just think we get this done then it’s off to University in April, that does leave a huge gap afterwards though, I mean it’s basically two months off I should consider getting a job,” you couldn’t help but to ramble about it all, while the very thought of entrance exams made your stomach sink, you were still excited for the future, “I could perhaps try and see if dad can give me a position at his work, who knows. What about you Light?”

He chuckled slightly, “I haven’t really thought about it that much, just that To-Oh is the next step to becoming a detective.”

“Ah yes, being noble must run in the family,” you teased.

“You’ve chosen what you want to pursue right?”

“Yeah I’ve finalised that I’ll be moving into criminal law, and do profiling and criminology on the side,” you shrugged.

“Same fields then, our paths will definitely cross.”

“As if you’ll get rid of me that easily,” you nudged his shoulder slightly as you arrived at his house, “we’ll have regular fights in court.”

“True, how foolish of me,” he smiled as he reached out to open the door before he could even call out his hello to his family he was interrupted but the sounds of a whining Sayu.

“Awwww do I have to? Right now? I totally promised some friends I’d hang out with them today,” she sulked, you quietly took your shoes off and snuck up behind her while she looked up at her mother, defeated. You grabbed her into a hug causing her to scream, “(Y/N) you’re the worst!”

“I try,” you teased before you tickled her.

“ I take it back I take it back stooooop!”  she laughed and you held your hands up in defence a little smile on your features.

Light cut in, ignoring yours and Sayu’s antics, “What’s wrong?”

“Your father has been at work all night without a change of clothes, I wanted Sayu to take this down to him,” she explained holding out the bag.

“I could do it,” he offered, “the extra walk could do me some good.”

“I’ll come with you,” (Y/N) smiled before she made her way upstairs to the, “let me just get changed.”

“Thanks, Light! I owe you one,” Sayu grinned at him.

***

It seemed that Light also decided to change, the moment you had left your bedroom, rushing to get into the sleeves of your long black coat – bag in one hand, Light was outside his door doing his white jacket up. He shook his head slightly at the sight of you, a small smirk on his face as he reached out and grabbed your bag for you to make it easier on you to get your coat on as the two of you walked down the stairs.

“Bye mum,” Light smiled as he grabbed the bag from her, (Y/N)’s bag still in hand as he left the door.

“I’ll take my bag back – thank you,” you smiled before you pulled your phone out of your bag, “after that little incident with Matsu, I’ve decided to keep it with me all the time.”

“Oh? Well glad to know I help you with something,” he smirked.

“I can’t believe how much your dad has been working, it’s insane.”

“Well after the death of those FBI agents, a lot of the police have dropped out,” he shrugged a bit too nonchalant for your taste.

“Wait, what?! You never told me about that, the FBI was in Japan?” You felt your heart sink as you pieced the puzzle together, “so the police are resigning from the case because they fear they may die? Oh my god . . .” you shook your head after the nod from Light confirmed your thoughts.

“Dad is one of the few still working the case.”

“I want to say I’m surprised but I can’t say I am,” you sighed, “he has a strong sense of justice.”

“You’re right there,” he chuckled, “we can only hope we find Kira and end his killings.”

“It makes me more hopeful knowing he’s a human at least,” you shrugged and tucked your hair behind your ear.

“What gives you that impression?” Surely, it’s not crazy she knows that – when the pieces are put together it’s obvious that it has to be someone living in Japan, even L himself said that , “I’m just curious over your process.”

“Well L for one,” she admitted.

Of course, just L.

“But,” your voice caught him off guard, “no god who ‘only wishes to harm criminals’ would make a scene of attempting to kill someone going against him. A god – at least I imagine – would be above such things, why would he care if someone is investigating?”

Makes sense, it’s a sound conclusion, but yet for some reason hearing you speak negatively of Kira seemed to strike a chord within him, “Maybe you should try out being a detective.”

She chuckled, “I could never, law is where I intend to stick.”

The subject had soon changed to planning another movie night, while Light insisted the Ring again since you hadn’t fully watched it you would hit him on the arm and requested anything else but that. You had both agreed to stick to a horror theme, stuck between Scream and Final Destination.

“Look at least Final Destination is ridiculous!” You laughed when you heard him protest.

“Oh yes because Ring is so based in reality,” he smirked.

“Hey that’s my personal trauma,” you pushed him playfully, your phone rang from your bag and you quickly pulled yourself together, your laugh still being stifled while you answered, “oh hey Yuri what’s up?”

Of course one of (Y/N)’s friends, they each have a special talent of interrupting, Light refrained from rolling his eyes as he saw your face slowly change from its happy expression to one of concern.

“No, no I’m free,” you assured, “I promise. Yep – okay I’ll head over right now, see you soon, yes – okay bye.”

He watched you hold your phone for a moment after you had closed it before he could ask you anything about it, as though reading his mind you looked up.

“Yuri needs me, girl drama y’know, I really need to see her,” she explained, “I can meet up with you afterwards, I’m sorry.”

“No that’s all right,” he assured you, right now he had to play the part of perfect boyfriend – that was what he was right? “I’ll see you later?”

“Oh yes, of course, this won’t take long! Tell your dad I said hi.”

That was the last thing you said before you left him on his walk to the station. With the way his day unravelled after that moment, he was more than pleased that Yuri had had one of her breakdowns. Hell, he was willing to buy her all the ice-cream she wanted. After an encounter with a certain widowed ex-FBI agent, he was almost sure that God himself was looking out for him. Had (Y/N) been there to see her, it would have been such a risk, there was a chance that she would never hear about the death of Naomi Misora, but, if she did it would expose him instantly, the widow of the FBI agent that was trailing Light, who had just confessed her thoughts about Kira to only him suddenly dies that day? He was certain that even (Y/N) would be able to connect those dots. She didn’t need to know, at least she didn’t need to know at that moment, maybe in the distant future if your viewpoints changed.

When he had turned his phone back on he was greeted with texts from you. 

(Y/N)

Hey, I made Yuri some tea and I think my work here is done. 

Are you still in town? Do you want to get coffee?

Oh wait, you probably want to study right?

He smiled slightly and sent you a quick message assuring her that he’d meet her at a local cafe to get a coffee to go so the two could study together. He was pleased to see that her reply had come quickly, there was something about knowing she was attentive to him and obviously liked him without him particularly having to go out of his way made him feel a certain way, he wasn’t sure he had a word for it. But he was content with the situation all in all.

“Hyeh hyeh, well Light looks like you didn’t need the eyes, after all, I suppose you’re pretty sharp.” Ryuk chuckled. 

“You’re foolish to doubt me,” Light said simply while he placed his phone back in his pocket. 

“Just imagine, if (Y/N) didn’t leave you’d be hopeless, I trust you won’t be telling her about this encounter?”

“Obviously,” he rolled his eyes, “which reminds me, you need to stop talking when I’m with (Y/N) it’s distracting and actually really annoying.”

“Hyeh! Hyeh! No can do, you’re forgetting that I don’t care about what you find annoying or not, if I want to talk then I talk, whether you respond or not is no concern of mine.”

He sighed, “So you’re useless as usual.”

“Hey!”

***

“But I procrastinate, which stresses me out which defeats the purpose of procrastinating because study stresses me out, then I stress I’ll never get my work done but I know I always will because I’ve never not done my work even if it’s last-minute, but that is totally counter-productive and not a routine I should be in especially if I want to make it into University you know?” (Y/N) continued the babble on while she held her coffee close to her chest on their walk home. 

“Liiight, make her stop, I don’t think I can go much longer like this, how much can a person talk about this?!” Ryuk whined, his claw-like hands covering his head.

Light hid his chuckle and looked down at her, she held her coffee to keep her hands warm, small snowflakes stuck in her hair, “I see what you’re saying, maybe you need regular study groups?”

“You’d think that’d be logical right, but I get so distracted around people especially if we aren’t studying the same stuff and I just end up wanting to help them to further procrastinate my own study then we go back into the circle of doom. The only thing I’ve really noticed that works for me is studying late with a coffee or some form of energy drink.”

“Then perhaps I should let you study alone,” Light said, a small smile curled at the corner of his mouth, he watched her face flush slightly, her cheeks growing a rosy tint, “I don’t want to be a distraction.”

She slowly sipped her coffee, in thought before she smiled, “You’re a good distraction.”

Now that wasn’t what he was expecting, he thought she would take the route of insisting they study together, or that she’d just get flustered and take back her words, “Am I now?”

She nodded with a smile, “Besides, you’ll call me out for slacking.”

“You know me too well,” he chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, almost back at his house. 

Just as Sayu had said, she had gone out for the day by the time the two had arrived home. (Y/N) brushed the snow off her coat before she took it off, “That snow was a bit of a wonder huh?” she smiled and threw her bag on the lounge before she left to get her books.

“Yeah, it was,” he sighed and grabbed her bag before he followed her upstairs, “we can study in my room,” he called out to her.

He sat down on his bed, placing her bag on the floor, he pinched the bridge of his nose. That was close, too close. If (Y/N) had stuck around at the police station and met that woman . . . no use thinking about that now, what’s done is done worrying about it now won’t change anything. 

“Light?” her voice cut through his thoughts and he looked over to see her hugging her textbooks to her chest along with her coffee, while she walked to his desk, a huff escaping her when she sat down, “you’re not slacking off now aren’t you?” she chuckled, crossing her legs on the chair and spinning in it.

“Just bored waiting for you.”

She shook her head slightly and took a sip from her coffee, “I didn’t even take that long,” she flicked open her workbook to a marked page.

“Felt like years,” he smirked and grabbed his textbooks along with the pen (Y/N) had given him for Christmas. 

There was silence between the two for a moment while they each wrote their notes, only breaking the silence when asking for a page number or to be each other's personal thesaurus. Light would occasionally glance up and notice (Y/N) staring at him before she would look back down in her notebook. He would catch her in the act numerous times and had found it amusing at first until he finally put his pen down and looked up at her, “You keep staring.”

She just smiled slightly and leaned back into the chair, “I just - it’s amazing to see people like you exist.”

“I don’t follow.”

“A hero,” she shrugged, “well maybe ‘hero’ isn’t the word for it, but the fact that someone like you exists, it gives me hope that the world can be a better place.”

He smiled slightly at her comment, “It’s what I aspire to do.”

"I know," she smiled before she looked back down at her book and started to write her notes.

Just wait (Y/N), soon enough the world will be a better place for all of us who deserve to live in it. Criminals and wrongdoers will be left in the dust of the past, and then you'll see, you'll see just how perfect it will all be. I know you have your doubts about Kira, but you're just mistaken, L got in the way the first time and threw you off the path, once he is eliminated you will see the true power of Kira and what he is capable of.

Chapter Text

Yuri hadn’t been doing well. At all. That was putting it nicely. She had been attached to (Y/N) by the hip. The usual routine of sitting with the group had changed. Yuri couldn’t bear to see them, and (Y/N) couldn’t blame her. The reason Yuri had been distant with them all, and it had all been because of Yumiko. Everyone around the school knew that Yuri had a crush on Taigen and that she was waiting for the right moment to ask him out, and of course - as all things do in high school - rumours spiralled, soon word had got out that Taigen had been waiting until it was confirmed if he’d make it on his dream university team for basketball. That would be all well and good, a high school whirlwind romance that gets a happy ending for high schools darlings. However, Yumiko had decided to insert herself into the narrative, long story cut short Yumiko ended up asking Taigen out and kissing him- once again rumours spread, some have said it was a deliberate jab at Yuri, and other’s think Taigen just didn’t care for her, some say he kissed first, others say she pulled him in. One thing that everyone seemed to be agreed on was that Yumiko had zero interest with Taigen.

So, of course, Yuri jumped at the opportunity when (Y/N) offered for her to come over to study, the last thing she wanted was to be alone. The two had taken the long way home to let them talk.
“Hey, I’m home,” (Y/N) called out while she took her shoes off, her eyes wandered around the house but there was no sign of the Yagami’s, “huh that’s weird, I thought Auntie would at least be here.”

“Maybe they’re out?” Yuri suggested while she placed her shoes neatly at the door. 

(Y/N) hummed in agreement before she placed her shoes next to Yuri’s, “I’ll message Light and ask.”

As though right on cue Light’s voice called out from upstairs, “(Y/N)?”

“Speak of the devil,” Yuri whispered to her, a small smirk across her features.

(Y/N) shushed her and called out to him, “Hey, Yuri’s here too, is Sayu with Auntie?”

“Must be, the house was empty when I got home - hey Yuri.”

“Hi, Light,” she smiled while she passed him up the stairs, he gave her a pleasant enough smile while he walked down to the kitchen. 

He raised an eyebrow towards (Y/N) who was grabbing cups and teabags, “Hey (Y/N) is Yuri . . . ?” 

She sighed slightly with a nod, “Yeah, we were meant to go to Ena’s house for study but Yumiko is going to be there, so now we’re here instead.”

“So that’s why you didn’t sit with us at lunch, I almost thought you were avoiding me,” he smirked slightly.

She snorted, “If I was avoiding you I wouldn’t come back to your house.”

“Hence the almost - so is Yuri -”

She cut him off before he could finish, turning on her heel to face him, “She’s not staying the night, she just wanted to copy some of my notes I have.”

“You know I think they call that collusion,” he said, a hint of teasing in his voice. 

“Well, they can mind their own business,” she nudged him slightly, she glanced down and noticed his jacket on his arm, “are you heading out?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Can you get me food?”

A pause, “Weren’t you just out?” he tilted his head down at her, she almost looked offended at his words. 

“Yeah but I didn’t think about food,” she pleaded. 

“All right, all right, I’ll get you food.”

“Thank you Liiiiiight,” she smiled up at him in a sing-song voice. 

***

“Hey I just want to say I really appreciate you hanging out with me today,” Yuri said, (Y/N) could feel the smile on her face through the speaker of her phone which she laid down next to her on the bed. She sat cross-legged, her textbooks and notes laid out in front. Her pen tapped on the blank pages of her workbook, her chin rested in her hand while she stared at the television, the news playing, although she couldn’t really comprehend what they were talking about, it felt far more like white noise than anything else. 

“No worries” she smiled, she turned the page in her textbook and leaned over to the remote, turning the television off, “what are friends for?”

“You’ve been so worried about me I haven’t even checked on you, how are you?”  

She paused for a moment, the rhythmic tapping of her pen stopping for a brief moment, “Uh, pretty good, little stressed about exams but that’s to be expected.”

“I was just curious since you went back to the Yagami’s so quickly.”

She paused again, biting her lip slightly, “They’re good people what can I say, I really like staying with them.”

“That’s fair, don’t your parents ever miss you though?”

That was what hit her the hardest. Did they really miss her? Because they surely never showed it. Or at least only showed it when it mattered to them. When Matsuda had taken her to her parents home that night, while the topic was not discussed, it was a silent agreement amongst the three that something had happened, something not good, and something that had made her run home to them instead of going to the Yagami’s. She grabbed her phone and laid back, she held her pillow close to her, “Actually no. They see me staying here as some kind of benefit since I’m boarding with Japans greatest.”

“Wait seriously?”

She laughed slightly, “Yeah they see it as free all day tutoring, and I see it as an escape fro the chaos.”

“My parents would kill me if I stayed over at a boys place.”

“What if that boy was Light Yagami?”

“Okay, I think I see your point.” Yuri laughed. 

It was silent for a moment while (Y/N) stared at the ceiling, “I thought,” she paused, “for the first days when I came back, they made an attempt to be understanding after what happened, but soon it was all formalities and business as usual, what are you studying? Are you keeping in touch with Light Yagami? Entrance exams are soon. Blah, blah, blah. The Yagami’s make me feel like I’m part of their family, not a new business venture.”

“Oh (Y/N) . . .”

“Don’t get me wrong,” she quickly defended, “I love my parents, and I’m sure they love me, I think they just have a weird way of showing it.”

“Well, I think you’re going to do great things, no matter what.” her giggle seemed to warm (Y/N) up as she squeezed her pillow tightly. 

***

One thing Soichiro Yagami did not expect about L’s headquarters was how cold it was going to get and had made a mental note to himself to ask his wife to bring him a jacket. He stared at the screen, it felt invasive, his family unaware that they were under investigation, that his son was a suspect. He rubbed his eye in an attempt to stay awake, something L didn’t seem to have an issue with, the dark rings around his eyes said that much alone.

“They Yagami’s make me feel like I’m part of the family, not a new business venture.”  

That made him make a second mental note to check (Y/N) was okay. What had happened? He knew she didn’t stay over for a few nights but he didn’t think too much of it, she wasn’t obligated to stay - 

“Does Miss (L/N) board with your family often?” The flat voice of L interrupted his thoughts. 

He adjusted his glasses slightly, “Yes, she has her own room, she’s been living with us for a while now.”

“I see,” he bit his thumb, “does she regularly watch the news?”

You’ve got to be kidding me, only moments ago he was accusing my son but in an instant, he’s moved on?! “I don’t always check but yes, I think the Kira events have her worried.”

L was silent for a moment longer before he gave the go-ahead to play the fake broadcast from the CIPO, an idea he had devised to play on the television stating 1500 investigators would be in Japan to investigate the Kira case, specifically to see if it would cause a reaction within the suspects. He couldn’t help but feel completely on edge, trying to gauge L’s reactions - or lack thereof - to see if he still suspected his son. His son.

The longer they would stay there, staring at the screen, at his family, a lingering thought refused to leave his mind. 

Could he raise a monster like this? 

Chapter Text

As slow as your days felt, exam day came far too soon, the ever-growing pit in your stomach had turned into a large lump in your throat, one you could neither swallow nor cough out. Your breaths felt heavier, yet you felt as though you were lacking oxygen. Damn exams. Your leg bounced while you sat hunched over your desk, looking over your notes, nothing was sinking in, all the information before you felt like blurs that didn’t register to your brain. You often found yourself re-reading the same sentence without even realising it. You often found yourself re-reading the same sentence without even realising it. You often found yourself re-reading the same sentence without even realising it. Then going back to the beginning to try to read the passage once through properly – wait did you skip a section? It all looked the same.

You covered your face with your hands and took in a deep breath, you leaned back in your chair, exhaling while you pushed your chair back, “Oh God.”

You rubbed your eyes before rising from the chair, your back was aching from how long you had been sitting, you felt almost dizzy for the first few moments of standing, “Nope,” you sighed at yourself. A yawn escaped you when you went downstairs, much to your delight, everyone was asleep, which left the kitchen for you alone, the perfect time for tea.

While the kettle boiled you sat at the kitchen table, you had to fight with yourself to not fall asleep right there – but there was something in you stopping it. Not only the part of you that didn’t want to explain to everyone why you fell asleep there but a deep feeling inside you that felt as though you weren’t alone, that you were being watched. The feeling had been lingering over you for a while, you knew you were probably just paranoid, your brain hazy from study leaving you on edge. Yes, that had to be it.

Once your tea was ready you brought it back with you, soon after falling asleep.

***

One thing that Light did that you could not get used to was how he turned up to exams within the last few minutes. It drove you insane, even while you walked to school with him that morning you had to fight the urge to run so you could get there sooner and mentally prepare yourself. Light, however, seemed to find your stress amusing. He could not wipe the smirk off his face while he walked, at a slightly slower pace than usual.

“You all right there (Y/N)?” he chimed in, like an absolute smart arse.

“Yep, fantastic, absolutely brilliant,” there was no hiding your sarcasm, and he found it hilarious apparently.

“You’ll be fine,” he chuckled, “just think after these exams you can rest and forget all about it.”

“Then there’s waiting for results, and my acceptance – or rejection – letter,” you mumbled the negative to yourself, not fully able to bring yourself to say it.

“Stop being so hard on yourself, at the end of the day, worrying won’t do much for you,” he nudged you slightly, “how about we take a rest day when exams are over? We still need to do movie night.”

There was a long pause before you responded, “Yeah.”

While you had answered, he couldn’t help but noticed that you weren’t actually listening to what he had to say. He watched you as you picked up your pace a bit, clearly in your head and not paying much attention to the outside world. A frown formed on his lips and outstretched his hand to grab yours, he pulled you slightly, so you’d look at him – which had seemed to snap you back into reality, “Hey, it’s going to be okay.”

There was a look in your eyes – so brief that he wasn’t fully able to put a name on it – before you smiled, “Yeah, of course,” he raised an eyebrow at your response and you quickly tried your best to assure him that you understood, “just exam jitters!”

That damn smirk soon returned as he stepped closer to you, he leaned down closer to you his forehead bumping yours. You felt the pit in your stomach lighten and turn to butterflies, your eyes closed briefly, “Hey (Y/N).”

“Hmm?”

“We need to get to school.” You could practically hear the smugness in his voice.

Your eyes widened a shocked gasp escaping you as you turned to start to pull on his arm to hurry up, a laugh escaping Light, “Oh my god let’s go!”

Of course, he found this hilarious.

There was no way to know how well you went in the exam, while you were able to fill everything out and complete everything before the time limit, however, whether that was because you were competent, or an idiot was unknown to you. All you did know was that you were happy for it all to be over. The tension in your body felt as though it left with each and every exam you completed. Just as fast and the exams had come, they were soon over, and you could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

Bed had never felt more comfortable than it did when recovering from burnout. The mattress never felt softer, the blankets never warmer, everything never felt as perfect. You groaned slightly while you stretched out your legs, squinting your eyes to look at your watch, half-past seven, it was still early, you yawned slightly and rolled over, pulling the blankets closer to your chest, your eyes falling once more. You were on the verge of falling asleep once more, only to be woken up an hour later by a knock on your door followed by a voice, “Morning sleepy head.”

Go away Light. Is what you wanted to say, but only a grumble escaped your lips before you buried your face in your pillow. You could hear the faint sound of the door creaking.

“Still sleeping?”

Smart arse. You reached for one of your pillows and threw it in his general direction, most likely missing since you couldn’t hear what would have been the satisfying thump!

“Tired and grumpy?” she could feel his smirk as he walked over to the bed and sat on the empty space next to you, “it’s a great day out, you should go out.”

“If it’s so great you do it,” your words were muffled by the pillow your face was still snuggled in.

“I was thinking more than you’d come with me.”

“I’m tirreeeed,” you whined, you rolled over to your side and looked up at him, he was dressed and ready for the day, very much awake, gross, “I want to sleep.”

“I’ll buy you a coffee.” He smiled down at you.

You drive a hard bargain Yagami. You sighed and rubbed your eyes, “fine, fine, just give me a minute.”  

A chuckle escaped him, “You’re not usually this bad.”

“I’m not usually burnt out,” you said in a blunter tone than you had intended, you sat up slowly, “sorry.”

He was quiet for a moment, his hand rested on your leg over the blankets “It’s all right, do you just want to stay in today?”

You shook your head, “No I’m up now, just let me get dressed and we can go.”

He squeezed your leg slightly and smiled, “Sounds good.”

***

“Thanks for the coffee,” you smiled, “I really needed this.”

“Don’t worry about it, besides I owe you one,” he assured you, a pleasant look on his face. You both had what you considered the best seat, at the back of the café in a booth where there was more privacy, the only downside in your eyes was not being near a window, but that would ruin the point of it being more private.

“I think you owe me more than that,” you joked, crossing your legs, “I’ll let it slide this time.”

“Will you just?”

Why did that bother you so much? Pink rising in your cheeks, you quickly wanted to change the topic, “Mhmm, so what are your plans for the break?”

“Wait for my letter from To-Oh, perhaps I’ll do some work at the police station if they need me, otherwise I plan to keep things very lax,” he sounded so sure and confident in his words, more as though he was slightly insulted anyone would ever think he’d do something else, his expression soon turned soft when he looked up at you, “you mentioned part-time work right?”

You were caught off guard – which made no sense, but that was just the effect Light had on you, or maybe just people in general – you gave a small shrug, “Uh – yeah I spoke with dad and he said he’s willing to let me work part-time until university, so I might consider that, depends on what the future holds I suppose.”

“Your father works in a bank, right?”

“Yeah, I’ll probably end up being his coffee person or working as a teller,” you shrugged slightly, you rested her head in your hand, “although I think I might just enjoy the break.”

A waiter soon came by your table and placed down your coffee, you could pinpoint when your mouth had started to salivate and thanked the waiter before taking a short sip, a smile spreading across your face.

“Needed that huh?” Light chuckled slightly before he took a sip from his own drink.

“Mhmm,” you smiled with a nod as you adjusted yourself in your seat. It felt nice just to be around Light, the conversation turned to normal meaningless talk, friends in school, how good it was for exams to be over, divulging in the local gossip – while Light presented himself as the type to not care about such things, he knew too much.

“What about Yuri, how’s she doing now after everything?” He asked, pushing his empty cup to the side.

You gave a short shrug and took the final sip of your coffee, “Yeah she seems her usual self now, cut ties with Yumiko and a lot of our group, and from what she’s told me she’s planning to travel, so I guess she’s all good now.”

“I see,” he mused, “do you want to go anywhere, or should we walk home? Sayu will be home so if you only want to sleep good luck with that.”

You laughed, shaking your head, “No I’m not tired anymore, our walk woke me up a lot, but we could go home, I still need to finish my book, I haven’t been reading lately.”

“The same one I read with you?”

Your cheeks felt warm remembering how he had read to you, you felt yourself physically shake it off, “Yeah, I’ve been so busy lately but I’m on the last chapter.”

“Well then, we should head back,” he had already risen from his seat while he spoke, and you had quickly followed.

Soon the cold wind would embrace you when you stepped out of the café, you pulled your coat tighter around you before looking in your bag for your ribbon to tie your hair out of your face while the two of you walked home. You fiddled with the ribbon in our hands and tried to pull your hair back, no concerned with how your hair ended up looking, all you were concerned about was it wouldn’t blow in your face. Warm hands were soon placed over yours, you hummed slightly, your eyes glancing back to see Light behind you.

“Let me,” he said coolly, taking the ribbon from you, his slender fingers running through your hair, pulling it back. You couldn’t help but think about how you would love Light to play with your hair, nothing sounded more relaxing. You felt the ribbon tighten around your hair and instinctively your hand reached back to feel it, he had tied a bow. You turned around to face him with a smile, “Thank you.”

He looked down at you for a moment, his hand brushed across your face as through moving a stray hair, it lingered on your cheek for a moment, “Of course.”

You grabbed his hand and intertwined your fingers with his, he didn’t resist and the two of you walked home.

Chapter Text

Fuck authors. That was all you could think when you placed your book down. The Grey Dove a book that started as a light fantasy world where superpowers existed and slowly turned into an intense psychological thriller, the lines of “good” and “bad” becoming completely blurred. To be honest, it was mentally draining, you could already sense you were going to have to sit on it for a while to let it all sink in.

It had ended at the funeral of Thomas – the childhood friend of the protagonist – leaving the main character to reflect on how he was too late to save him, how Thomas was more involved in a cult-like organisation than he led on, and that had led to his death, had he had been stopped perhaps things could have been different. What a downer. You had hoped that the protagonist would wake up and help his friend, let him see the light, then again not all stories have to have a happy ending, still, after being dragged around for five hundred pages, you would have appreciated a fragment of hope.

You sighed and placed the book in the empty spot on your shelf, there was something satisfying about all your books being lined up next to each other – even better when none of those was school-related. You were about to sit down when you heard an enthused Sayu from downstairs.

“(Y/N) are you home?”

You chuckled slightly and made your way down to her, “You bet, what’s up?”

A bright smile spread across her face when she showed you the plastic bag she was holing, “Mum and I went shopping and I got a magazine Misa Amane was interviewed!” she pulled the magazine out of the bag and sure enough there she was, Misa Amane, idol and model, “I thought we could read it together.”

“I’d love that,” you smiled, and she instantly beamed. A magazine would surely be a way for you to switch your brain off after finishing your book, harmless fun.

Her mother’s laugh caught you off guard while she had started to unpack the groceries, “She’s been talking about non-stop since she saw it, she’s been waiting until she saw you.”

“Wow didn’t even sneak a quick read?” you teased and Sayu shook her head, “now come onnnn.”

She practically dragged you up the stairs, you glanced back at her mother who gave you a ‘good-luck’ look, and you couldn’t help but laugh when Sayu complained that you were too slow, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

Sayu’s room was by far the most decorated and most colourful in the house, posters of idols and actors she adored, stuffed animals, and other knickknacks. It was also easily the messiest – which in fairness was not hard to achieve in the Yagami house – her untidy nature was made up of an overflowing laundry basket, clothes on a chair that she had decided not to wear, and things that weren’t properly put away. She jumped onto her bed and patted a spot next to her for you to sit while she pulled out the magazine.

“She’s so pretty!”

You sat down next to her and looked down at the cover, Misa’s blonde hair was a standout feature, there was an innocent nature to how she looked, something that you had always found to be a stark contrast to her voice when she sang, for you, it only added to the appeal.

Sayu flicked through the magazine looking for the interview, a two-page spread with photos of her from her concerts and modelling shoots. The interview was about her taking a break from her idol life to write more songs and focus more on her modelling career, the basic things. However, it was near the end of the interview that caught your eye.  

‘What are your thoughts on Kira? Do you consider yourself a supporter or are you against what he does?’

         I am grateful to Kira, this week he punished the man who killed my parents, I have no choice but to support him. He almost feels like a guardian angel, I can only hope that one day I can meet him and thank him for what he’s done. So – I suppose in that way I am a supporter of Kira; the police weren’t every able to punish my parents’ murderers I had honestly lost hope that I would ever find justice, but Kira, he did it, he helped me.

The interview soon went on about her modelling prospects and for everyone to expect her in future issues of Eighteen. You weren’t surprised she had been asked such a question, as a reporter for a publication, being able to get the opinion on a controversial topic from a high-profile individual was a juicy story, especially as an exclusive. You glanced down at Sayu who had a puzzled look on her features, she seemed overly fixated on the page, not paying attention to what she was reading.

“Sayu?”

Your words seemed to break her out of her trance, and she shook her head before smiling, “an idol and model, can you even imagine?” she looked up at you, “she’s so talented.”

A part of you wanted to push her further, you suspected the Kira section of the interview confused her – or concerned her – but you let it go. She soon was back to her usual self, flicking through the pages, you would both point out outfits you liked. Sayu giddy over clothes she would wear on a date when she ‘finally’ had a boyfriend – hopefully, someone who was as perfect as Hideki Ryuga. It felt as though the interview had left her train of thought.

***

You hugged your pillow close to your chest while you looked at your phone, you had read the message what felt like a hundred times, the lingering voice in your head told you the more you read it the less it would affect you, but that voice was a liar. It seemed you felt sicker.

MOTHER

Your letter from To-Oh should arrive soon. We expect to hear your results.

You had tried to not think about your acceptance letter – or in actuality your rejection letter. If you weren’t accepted into To-Oh your parents would shame you, you could already hear their speeches in your ear, how you didn’t try hard enough, that this wasn’t how they raised you, so on and so forth. It put a bad taste in your mouth. If you were accepted, you couldn’t help but feel that they would still breathe down your neck and point out all the ways you could have been better.  

We expect to hear your results. You wanted to gag. Even if you tried not to tell them, there was no doubt in your mind that Auntie would call your parents to let them know, not out of malice of course, but it would be your inevitable doom. You just hoped that your parents would be gentle. Hoped.

A sigh escaped you when you finally closed your phone and placed it down on your bedside table, next to the little black book Light had gifted you, it had turned into a diary of sorts more than a tool for creative writing, it seemed to work better like that though. You stared at the table for a moment, the pillow held tighter to your chest while you were in deep thought. You bit your lip and reached back out to your phone and opened your messages.

MATSU

You stared at the screen for a moment, debating if you wanted to text him or not, you wanted to check on Uncle, he hadn’t been answering many calls, which made sense since he was investigating Kira and there was no doubt in your mind that his phone was the last thing on his mind. But it had been so long. You thought that perhaps Matsuda would be more likely to reply, but you hadn’t talked to him since he picked you up from the pool. Would it be weird to message him about Uncle? You started to type a message only to delete it all, unable to get the right words out. You bit the bullet and typed a new message.

MATSU

Is Mr Yagami okay?

You stared at your screen for a while after you hit send. Was that weird? Probably. You’re weird. You didn’t even ask how he was, oh my god (Y/N) did you even use your head? Your phone beeped and you immediately checked, Matsu you legen – oh.

FATHER

Be sure to call when your letter arrives.

And then, much like a wave, a sick feeling travelled through your entire body and you ran to the bathroom, your hand covering your mouth.

Chapter Text

Soichiro Yagami was forever grateful his wife had sent an extra jacket, it was far more bearable to work in the building than before. It was quiet for the most part, after the removal of the security cameras L had been discussing his plan to meet Light in the flesh ‘out in the open’ as he had put it. He had first made contact during examinations. Soichiro had hoped that once the cameras had been removed from his home that it would clear his family from all suspicion, perhaps it was too bold of him to hope of such a thing. From what he understood the next part to his plan was to meet Light at the welcoming ceremony and to make himself known as L. 

He glanced over at L, who was sitting down reading files, he hadn’t asked him what was in those files but trusted that L knew what he was doing and was looking through was important to the Kira case. Soichiro rubbed his eyes before he walked over to make himself a cup of coffee, he passed by Watari who held a large yellow folder in his arms, usually, Soichiro wouldn’t pay too much mind to it, but it was when he saw (L/N) written on it, he raised an eyebrow slightly, but did his best to try to ignore it while he grabbed his cup. It only made sense that they would have to look into (Y/N) since she also lived with his family, however, throughout the time of L watching surveillance footage, he hadn’t mentioned her with any amount of interest, he had mostly kept it to ‘does she usually stay up late’ ‘does she stay in your home every day of the week?’ - it was more of an information grab to try to understand her living situation - which he had seen as fine since it wasn’t the most conventional, Soichiro never thought much of it especially since L had never pushed further to ask about her family.

“Miss (L/N) is going to attend To-Oh University just like Light, correct?” L said in a flat tone, there was no doubt he knew the answer to his own question. He had to wonder if that was L’s way of trying to make conversation.

“Acceptance letters haven’t arrived yet from what I know, but yes they intend to go there,” he couldn’t place his finger on it, but every time he answered one of L’s questions he felt as though he had just admitted to a serious crime, incriminating himself and that any minute the doors would come crashing down and he’d be caught in the act, what act? He didn’t know. He pulled a cup out from the cupboard and leaned over the bench, he was more focused on L’s words than what he was doing.

“Your son will be studying to be a police officer.”

That was a statement, but he still felt inclined to answer, “correct.”

“And from what I’ve researched Miss (L/N) applied for a double degree: law and psychology.”

“That sounds about right,” he nodded slightly as he reached over for the sugar, “her parents have been pushing for her to pursue law.”

“Hmm,” he bit down on the skin of his thumb, deep in thought while Watari passed L the folder, soon flicking through the pages.

“You don’t honestly suspect her, do you? First my son and now her?”

“No, I don’t suspect her of being Kira, I just find it all rather curious,” he stopped at one particular page in the folder and paused to read it, “Mr Yagami in your honest opinion and don’t bother trying to lie I need the truth –”

There was a way L used his words, as though he wanted to string people along on purpose to raise their anxiety, perhaps that’s how he thinks he will get an honest answer. He finished up his coffee, stirring it all together while he walked over to L to sit down with him. 

“- do you think Miss (L/N) has the potential to bring Justice?”

“I – I don’t think I understand the question.” At least he was being honest. He glanced down at the page in front of L, he wasn’t able to grasp all of it but he could make out that it was a report from (Y/N)’s teacher, judging from the title: DRAFT - it was a letter that was never sent. 

. . .  (Y/N) shows great promise within her studies, and has a clear dedication to her education. However, we do have concerns regarding her support system, it has come to our attention that (Y/N) has been requesting for her teachers to not mail report cards to her home and for her parents to not be called regarding her schooling.  We have also noticed that she has stopped participating in the school swim team, and resigned as the team’s Vice-Captain. While we understand her living situation  - 

L looked up at Soichiro, as though he knew he was concerned about his interest, “I know I’m correct in my analysis, but I wanted some qualitative data. Don’t stress yourself over it, I don’t need an answer right now,” he continued on and flicked to a new page in the folder, a photo of (Y/N) from some years ago paper clipped to the corner, “I believe she may be useful to us at some point, not yet, but in future, I believe an opportunity will arise where I will speak with her.”

He didn’t know exactly what to say to that but had just nodded slightly and stared at nothing particular in front of him, trying to ease his mind and thought over L’s question. Does (Y/N) have the potential to bring justice? To what? If she’s a lawyer she will work in criminal justice. He didn't believe that she would abuse the system, was that what L was asking? Did he want to know if he thought (Y/N) would follow the law? 

***

“(Y/N)! Get up!”

You grunted, almost winded when you felt the weight of Sayu fall onto your middle which had forced you to jump awake, you instinctively hugged your stomach and rolled to your side, “Ugh Sayu, what time is it?”

“Nearly 7! Mum wants us all to be up and dressed, she’s making breakfast,” the huge grin on her face seemed to make you only feel more tired, how was she so energetic? Isn’t she usually hard to get out of bed? Your eyes had slowly started to adjust while she started to pull your arm to get you out of bed, you saw Light leaning against your doorway, a smirk on his face. 

“What’re you so happy about?” You rubbed your eyes as Sayu pulled you to your doorway. 

“Had to see if she would manage to get you up,” he chuckled slightly, “turns out she has it down to an art form.”

You groaned and leaned your head on the doorframe, “Well I’m up.”

“Mum needs us dressed then we have to go down!” Sayu jumped in excitement and ran down the stairs. 

You glanced up at Light and shook your head, “She has too much energy.”

He chuckled slightly and wrapped an arm around your middle, tugging at you slightly to come closer, your head soon resting on his shoulder, “Do you need the bathroom?”

You shook your head, “All yours.”

You felt him place a light kiss on your temple, which woke you up not expecting it - although it was welcomed, “All right, I’ll see you down there,” he stayed there for a moment, his breath brushing against your skin while he spoke, he gave you a short squeeze before he let you go.
“You're clingy this morning,” you joked as he let go, he gave you a soft shrug with a smile as though that were his response before he left for the bathroom.

While there was nothing unusual about Aunt Yagami making breakfast in the morning, it was unusual for her to insist that you all had to be read at the same time, especially when school was out, usually, she would leave you and Light to your own devices. So when you walked down the stairs with Light to see her with the table made up it was surprising. She smiled brightly when she saw you both, her hands clapped together.
“Oh you both look lovely,” she beamed and gestured for the two of you to sit. Sayu was already at the table, a mischievous smile on her face. You smiled awkwardly and took your seat across from Light at the table, Aunt Yagami was finishing up breakfast and turned the stove down to grab something from a cupboard.

“These came yesterday, but I thought it would be nice for you both to open them together,” she smiled and placed two large envelopes in front of Light and yourself. You started down at yours, your heart soon racing when you saw the familiar emblem, “your letters from To-Oh!”

You stared down at the envelope, you could hear her gush over the two of you, how she was excited and so proud, when you glanced up, you could see Light nonchalantly opening his letter, not a worry in the world. Yet when you looked back down at your own, you only felt your heartbeat grow stronger. 

 Ms (Y/N) (L/N)

“(Y/N),” you glanced up and saw Light looking at you expectedly, “let check together, you can’t have me doing this alone now.”

While his tone was joking, it was encouraging, you smiled slightly and turned your envelope around to peel off the seal. Light gave you a reassuring nod before he pulled out his own letter, and started to read it, Sayu was practically jumping in her seat begging for the two of you to tell her everything. You took a breath and pulled out your letter. 

To: Ms (Y/N) (L/N)

Dear (Y/N)

This is an acknowledgement of your application to study in the Law and Psychology program with our university through a double degree.  Over the past weeks, the Administration Office has had the difficult task to review applications of the strongest applicant pool and choose the students that are believed to hold the ideal values for our University that they believe will help further our reputation. It is with great honour that I inform you that your application was successful and that you have been accepted into To-Oh University. 

Administration to our program is very competitive and we review each application thoroughly with care and scrutiny. We believe that our students should show dedication, ambition, and a drive for intellectual discussion is a vital ingredient for our University. You have been admitted because not only were your entrance exam marks outstanding, but you showed your excellence through your schooling and extracurricular activities.  We would like to congratulate you on your hard and diligent work and hope to see you study with us, together with our esteemed program and like-minded community. We hope we can work to help you find a rewarding experience.

We are pleased to inform you that your outstanding mark has placed you in our . . .

You looked up at Light who was already being hugged by his mum and sister, of course, he made it in, it would be more shocking if he was rejected. You hadn’t even noticed that you had let out a sigh of relief, a smile on your face that was impossible to wipe off. Light looked up at you, his mother soon asking how it went. 

“I got in,” you smiled, an exasperated laugh escaping you, the words didn’t feel real. You. You were going to To-Oh University, you had been accepted, you were going to do your double degree. This was it. 

You felt Aunt Yagami hug you tightly and Sayu still hugged Light’s arm with a wide smile, “I knew it! They’d be stupid to not let in you guys.”

“Letting me in might be proof they’re stupid,” you half laughed as you put your letter away. Aunt Yagami has tsked you but couldn’t hide her smile as she placed breakfast in front of the three of you. God wouldn’t it be awkward if I didn’t get in.

“You’ll have to call your parents and tell them the news,” Aunt Yagami smiled, sat down at the head of the table. 

You poked your fork at your food, while you were no longer filled with anxiety about being rejected from To-Oh and having to listen to your parents prepare their I told you so speech, you weren’t exactly looking forward to telling them, you weren’t sure how they’d react, you didn’t reject the idea that they would insist to look at your letter and try to find out where you placed in the exam, or what your overall score was. However, you knew you would have to tell them, if you didn’t, Mrs Yagami would surely call them and gush about your achievement - something you wished your parents were more open about doing - then have to deal with the consequences of ‘keeping it from them’ talk. You gave her a small nod, “Yeah, I’ll have too, I’ll have to tell them you made it in too Light.”

He laughed slightly, “If they’re keen to know they can ask me themselves,” while his tone was joking, there was a little look he gave you that said your-parents-suck-they-don’t-get-to-know, “looks like I’ll be giving a speech with another student during the welcome ceremony.”

You were caught off guard for that part, “Wait what?”

He nodded slightly before he took a bite of his food, “Myself and another student scored the highest mark, so we both have to prepare speeches.”

How was he so calm while he said that, as though it didn’t phase him at all? The highest mark?! How was he not more boastful about it all? You definitely weren’t telling your parents, you could already picture it ‘how could you live with Light Yagami yet not get higher marks?’ ‘you don’t have enough drive’ ‘why can’t you be like him’. You almost shuddered at the thought, “Light that’s incredible!”

Now that seemed to give him a cocky smile, it almost made you wish you hadn’t praised him, but there was something amusing about it all. 

Light’s mother soon left with Sayu to go down the street to do a few jobs, Sayu seemed to be looking for an excuse to leave the house. The house soon felt far quieter without the two, especially the heavy rushed footsteps of Sayu. You had ended up sitting with Light on his bed ‘recovering’ is what you both agreed to call it. Resting to try and take back the time you both lost to Sayu’s abrupt awakening. Light was laid on his back, arm over his eyes, his other arm resting on his middle; you were laid back next to him, phone in your hand while you looked through your messages, doing everything to avoid actually calling your parents. 

MATSU

Is Mr Yagami okay? 

He still hadn’t replied to your text, you weren’t sure if that should have made you anxious or if you needed to calm down and that he was busy. It wasn’t like he owed you a message. 

“So are you going to call them or not?” Light asked.

“Can you stop reading my mind, I think it’s a little invasive.”

He smirked slightly, “Don’t make your thoughts so obvious then,” he hadn’t even moved his arm away from his eyes while he spoke to you. 

You let out a sigh and clicked through your contacts, you stopped when you saw your mother and rolled to your side, your head buried in Light’s shoulder, “I don’t want to talk to her, can’t you do it, I’m sure she’d loooove to talk to you,” you were joking, for the most part, you were joking, it was true that her parents would much rather talk to him, hell, they’d praise him for how well he had done in his entrance exams. 

“Hmm, no thanks, but I’ll be here while you talk to them.” 

You groaned and put your phone to your ear while you called your mum. Ring . . . don’t pick it up. Ring . . . please don’t pick up, I’m begging you pleas- “Hey mum, how are you?” shit. 

Light’s smile widened as he held in his laugh, he rolled over to -  what you could only see it as - what the spectacle this would turn into. 

“Ah, (Y/N). I’m just on a break, what is it?” she sounded far too preoccupied, ‘on break’ more likely meaning ‘I’m not being paid right now so be as dumb as you want while I try to get all my other work done’

“My letter from To-Oh arrived today,” you started, only to be cut off, her voice more attentive.

“Oh? How’d you go, what was your score and placement?”

“Uh, I made it in - thanksforasking ,” you said, muttering the last bit to yourself as you rolled on your back and stared up at the ceiling, avoiding her question of what you placed.

“Almost thought you hadn’t made it in for a moment since no letter was sent to us.”

“Well, they do tend to only send it to the students mum,” you sighed, you glanced over at Light, you knew he could partially hear what she was saying, he gave you a reassuring smile and reached over to you to pull you closer to him, your back on his chest, his head perched on your shoulder. 

“What did your friends score?” you knew by ‘friends’ she meant Light, you had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

“Light placed first, he’ll be giving the welcoming speech.”

“Light really? That’s wonderful, tell him your father and I said congratulations.”

“Of course, I’m sure he’ll appreciate it,” you rolled your eyes, as though soothing you, Light brushed his fingers across your stomach while you spoke. It was a little distracting, but you weren’t going to ask him to stop. 

“He’s come so far, his parents must be incredibly proud.”

“Yeah they’re proud of both of us,” there was hidden malice to your words as you tried to hint to your mother that she hadn’t exactly congratulated you. 

“Hmm,” Typical, “anyway, yeah you had us worried, I was starting to think your incident was going to start hurting your chance of getting in.”

Did she just? You quickly tried to shut the conversation down, only your parents and Mastuda knew about your “incident” as she so lovingly put it, “Um yeah well it didn’t, uh mum I have to go work on stuff, just wanted to call to let you know I got in.”

“Okay dear, I have to head back to work anyway. Message us your orientation date.”

“Mhmm, will do, okay bye,” you soon hung up and let out a sigh, “you sure your mum doesn’t want to adopt me?”

“Mmm, don’t think so,” he mused, his hand tracing patterns on your top.

“You’ve been more touchy than usual,” you thought out loud, and he chuckled slightly and you rolled over to face him, “not that I mind, I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“Been a bit chaotic lately, had to focus on school, study, exams, the letter, ” he listed off slowly, his arm resting on your waist while he rubbed your back. 

“Hmm, yeah too much going on,” you agreed. 

“But that’ll change.”

“Hmm?”

“I want to be with you more, even when everything gets overwhelming,” his hand reached out to your face, thumb brushing against your cheek.

You were caught for words, you just found yourself staring at him, expecting him to go on to explain, his cool hand on your cheek made you only realise how much the heat had travelled to your face, you were about to speak when he leaned closer to you, his lips meeting yours.

***

He had been careful not to wake you when he got out of bed, he wasn’t the type to take a nap during the day - never had been - yet he waited until he knew you were asleep before he left. He was in desperate need to stretch his legs, his arm had gone numb from you laying on it. He had only intended to go downstairs to make a cup of tea and go back to his room, but he noticed your open door, and curiosity had taken over. 

“Hyeh, hyeh, I suppose we’ll add snoop to your list of titles.”
“How funny,” he responded in a flat tone, not refraining from rolling his eyes. He didn’t know what he expected to see when he walked into your room. The only significant difference was that your school-related books had been stacked neatly in the corner of the room. He had almost left without a second thought until he saw the notebook he had gifted to you. A curiosity of sorts had overcome him and he picked it up and sat at your desk. 

It seemed to be filled with short poems, many lines crossed out with notes written in the margins. He smirked slightly to himself, she had told him she had been using it as a diary as of late, which was confirmed through short paragraphs that seemed to be a stream of consciousness upon first glance, poems much more few and far between. He had caught glimpse of some of the titles she had given them: Heavens Eyes, Focus on Me, When He Sees Me. 

He soon stopped flicking through the pages, his smile fading. The poems and entires had stopped and the two-page spread was filled with a list of names in a table she had drawn up. Each collum had it’s title neatly written at the top: NAME, CRIME, DEATH, KIRA. He looked down the list and it soon all came together she had been listing the names of Kira’s victims - or more precisely, the names of criminals who had died, how they died, their crime, and if she thought it was Kira.

Name not disclosed (N/A) - embezzler  - heart attack - no yes 

N/A - purse snatcher - heart attack - no yes

The page next to it was a different table with “predicted victims” with the date at the top of the page, the collum next to the list of names were either left blank, or with a small tick, how they died, and the date. 

How? When did she ever have the time to do all of this? 

As though his mind was being read, Ryuk laughed, “sometimes people hide things so well not only do the people around them don’t see, but they themselves don’t know.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he rolled his eyes as he flicked through the pages. 

“You’re smart aren’t you, why don’t you figure it out?”

Was she doing this in secret? Or - no, there’s no doubt in my mind she’s in denial, that would explain Ryuk’s comment. However . . .  this is quite in-depth. He looked through the dates, she hadn’t updated it since exams. 

He flicked back to the beginning of the poems, his eyes falling on one called “Hurricane” many lines had been crossed out, clearly a draft.

The Eye of The Hurricane

What once was a quiet park
The bright colours that once filled my world,
were no more than a faded memory;
Dark clouds filled the sky,
The power great  hurricane,
Before me,
And my peaceful park.
Oh, all is over for me.

Everyone’s pushing,
Everyone’s crying,
Fighting, scratching, screaming in fear.
The wind of the hurricane,
It pulls me in,
Pushing taking me right into the eye. 

And for a moment everything was silent.
And for a moment I could see him.
The mighty hurricane.
And for a moment,
I was him. 

A new world,
I will be the God of The New World.
This ultimate power Destiny looked upon me,
And granted me the gun of which I only have to aim;
She granted me Eyes wide open to this blind world,
My power is Just.

Elegant solution, 

Flawless execution,

Righteous retribution. 

May the tides bend,
The waves crash,
The colour drain,
May they all bow before me,
Their God. 

His eyes narrowed at the words, she had tried to get inside the mind of Kira, she had tried to understand him. She wasn’t far off, he wasn’t sure if he should commend her on her ability, or be disturbed from the accuracy. He sat down at her desk, he looked up at Ryuk once more, “You’re not trying to suggest that she’s doing this in a dazed state are you?” Shockingly, Ryuk seemed more insulted than anything else when asked, a look of I-may-be-stupid-but-don’t-consider-me-a-fool. He simply shook his head and continued on, a grim smile on his features.
“She’s been staying up countless hours at night writing in that journal. She’s been doing it for a while, especially during your study,” he cackled at the end, “a bit too busy focusing on L to realise that she was focusing on Kira.” His long skeletal like finger to the page, “she slowed down after exams, recently, she only checks to see if any of her predicted names have been killed.
“So it’s a stress reliever?” he raised an eyebrow and looked flicked through the most recent pages. He saw she had made footnotes: ‘Kira killed a purse snatcher and embezzler  - very odd, could there be a second Kira?’ , ‘Seems Kira is focusing on minor criminals, perhaps he is trying to make his actions more askew’, ‘Kira killed a major criminal today’.  He skimmed over her notes, for a moment until Ryuk’s cackling broke his concentration.

“She seems to know Kira more than you hyeh, hyeh, hyeh. ”
He had a point - shockingly - if she has noticed a pattern in Kira’s killings than L certainly must have noticed too, perhaps I could use this to my advantage? 
“So what’re you going to do Light?”
He raised an eyebrow at the death god and carefully closed the journal, “What do you mean?”
“Well if she’s studying Kira this much, you best watch your back, it’d be so . . . unfortunate if she were to work out who Kira truly is.”
A laugh had started to grow within Light as he chuckled quietly to himself, Ryuk had taken a step back as through for precaution just in case Light tried something off, “No, in fact, this is perfect.”
“Huh?”
“Predicted kills? Well, she’s just providing me with a possible list of criminals, also, what better way to keep an eye on her and misdirect her to a different suspect than having her constantly around?” he got up from her desk and placed her journal just as it had been on her bedside, he knew he would have to somehow pry this out of her naturally and have her be comfortable enough to talk about it with him, he didn’t need her to suspect him if she were to die - No. No, I don’t want to kill her, that would never happen - but if she were, L would only have more reason to suspect him, no, not even suspect, it would confirm it,  “besides, this is but a pass time for her, a passionate hobby of sorts.”
“You sound so sure of yourself.”
“Of course I do, because I have nothing to worry about,” he smirked, “besides, right now, I must play the role of the perfect, reassuring boyfriend, not the investigator.”

Chapter Text

There was one thing Light had never really paid too much mind into doing. Just Watching. Ryuk watched, and he would keep the things he saw to himself unless it would benefit him otherwise – why on earth would he try to make things easy for Light, especially when he so often tried to make a fool of him (the threat of taking away apples never truly left Ryuk’s thoughts). It had been why Ryuk never told Light what fully happened at the pool, or how he never told Light that once he was asleep he would roam around and that while he was roaming around the house, he would find (Y/N) hunched over her desk, writing away in her journal.  If asked - more accurately, if he wished to share - Ryuk would be able to pinpoint the exact moment (Y/N) had started to write more about Kira in her journal, it was the day she came back from staying at her parents’ house. When everyone else in the home was asleep. She would be wide awake, listening to the TV at a low volume, almost impossible to hear, and write, almost in a hypnotic state.

He had found it amusing how she would hide how tired she was, she had picked up a love for black coffee, and would insist that it was studying that had caused the bags under her eyes, ‘like you can talk’ she had rolled her eyes at Light when he had first called her out on the dark circles, there would be many more remarks and excused that would follow every time Light would try to push, which had always made Ryuk laugh. Not that Light had paid much attention to him; he had often shrugged Ryuk’s antics as information that he should strike from the record entering through one ear and out the other, he seemed to had mastered the craft of ignoring him - which was bold of a human. 

Humans were fascinating. The longer Ryuk had been watching (Y/N) in the late hours of the night, the more he was curious. He had assumed that she had been one of the “average” scoring students within Light’s social circle, considering how she cringed at every mark she had received in a test. At first, Ryuk was interested to see the differences between an average human and Light, he thought it would be an interesting way to see how they work - perhaps even how someone like her would use the Death Note (he didn’t have a solid conclusion on what he thought she would do with its power, for now, he imagined that she would simply hold onto it, perhaps see it as some sort of edgy prank).

However, the pretence that he had around her would soon start to crack under the moonlight's veil and revealed itself to the dark shadow of the Death God that loomed behind her.  As he read over her shoulder he was frozen in a state of bewilderment. She had worked relentlessly and had found Kira’s pattern, and had built a rough profile of who he was. Ryuk was not able to hide his laughter when he saw her notes, he glanced over to the side of her desk where she kept her rough draft of a potential profile of who Kira could be.

KIRA

Age: young adult –  there is a chance that the frontal cortex is not yet developed (18-25)

History: There is a possibility that he or she has a connection to the criminal justice system or even politics that have played a role in forming these beliefs (perhaps a corrupt relative or bearing witness to the failures of the system).

It is likely that Kira was far above his peers in grades when in high school, creating a superiority complex, thus explaining why s/he thinks they’re the one who has to “change the world” and why they think their methods are “Just”.

Extremely intelligent, perhaps intends to/or already does work in the justice system, particularly criminal justice: lawyer, police officer, detective, forensic psychologist.

While it is hard to believe that Kira would have any respect whatsoever for any form of the justice system, perhaps he wishes to work within the system to create great change within society.  

Recent movements of Kira imply a great change, perhaps he is expanding his victim criteria? Before he had only focused on criminals who had a high recidivism rate and had participated in more dangerous crimes. 

As of now, what Kira needs to kill is a face, he has only killed criminals who have appeared in some sort of media, which explains why the man at the pool hasn’t been killed by him, he was never on the news.

There is no doubt.  Kira is human. 

He couldn’t stop himself from cackling when he saw the brief note, she’s either not as stupid as she lets on or she’s completely lost it! Perhaps even both. Using the identity of her own attacker to her advantage.

“That’s one way to cope,” his gravelly voice mused after recovering from his laughter. It wasn’t as satisfying when no one could hear him, yet that wouldn’t stop Ryuk from talking. If she could hear him perhaps she'd see the humour in it all. 

There was a morbid curiosity he had over her. Was it merely a case of some sort of intellect, or was it madness? Perhaps even both. He had considered messing with her at times, nothing too drastic, just little things,  moving her pen somewhere she hadn’t put it, rearrange her books when she was gone, he had once considered underlining certain words in your open books to lead you down a path of clues, a way to hint to you if you were on the right track. But nevertheless, he resisted. While meddling was fun, he was more curious to see how this would all naturally unfold. If this was some sort of genuine attempt to find Kira, could she actually work out that the culprit was in the bedroom down the hall? 

Humans are so interesting.

***

Mortals are such fools.

She watched down as the blonde-haired girl held the black book close to her chest while she laid back on her bed, pillows and stuffed animals comforting her while she closed her eyes in deep thought. So peaceful and still, she could have been easily mistaken as a young woman being laid to rest in her coffin on the day of her funeral, finally at peace.  How one could look so delicate and peaceful while holding what in mortal hands could be considered a weapon of mass destruction was beyond the Death God. 

The girl's eyes opened, and she looked towards the Death God, no sign of distress in her eyes, far different to the fearful look her blue eyes had given when she first saw the Death God, “Oh, I almost forgot you were there Rem!”

The Death God – Rem, as she had told the girl when they met - ignored her antics. A small part of her had started to wonder if she had bothered to give the girl the notebook, especially since there was already one in the mortal realm due to Ryuk’s meddling - and look where that led, some fool believing that he is a God among men. Yet in the end, it felt as though it were the right thing to do. She looked back down at the girl who was sat cross-legged on her bed, the notebook resting on her lap while she looked up at Rem with a determined look on her face, although her face seemed too soft for such an expression, it looked more like a pout than anything else. 

“Rem I’ve made my decision!”  there was no shake in her voice, so sign of deterrence. She was serious, in a way, that was terrifying. 

The pale Deaths God’s voice was low and mellow, it had briefly reminded Misa of how she imagined a mother would speak to a child, although Rem’s voice was far drier, almost void of emotion, “Misa, are you sure? Agreeing to the eye deal cuts your remaining life span in half, once done, there is no going back.”

Misa Amane, a pop idol who was meant to die, now sitting in front of a Death God willing to shorten her life and risk a dance with death again. Did she really understand this deal? When Rem had first met the idol, the first thing that fascinated her was how calm she was when she saw her – despite the fearful look in her eyes. Misa hadn’t screamed, she didn’t run away. Rem was sure that she was scared to a degree but she didn’t show it, in fact, Misa had at first thought that Rem was some sort of angel, a guardian angel that had saved her life on the night that a deranged man - that had soon been revealed to have been stalking her - had almost killed her; Rem wasn’t sure how she came to the conclusion of a guardian angel, her skeletal like shape and towering height had more than often terrified mortals, thinking her the devil, never an angel. Once Rem had told her she had been saved by a fellow Death God which meant that his notebook was now hers, she seemed to take it well. With the notebook, she had been able to connect it all together. Kira, he too had a notebook, and now so did she, and with the power of this notebook, her life had been saved and extended. The moment she had been told about the Eye Deal; the ability to know the name of any human as long as you could see their face, Misa wanted it, she practically begged Rem to let her do the deal. However, there was something in Rem that made her not accept the deal, this girl's life had just been saved, and now she was willing to throw it all away? She had told Misa to give the deal far more thought, then Rem would allow it. Rem had never suggested such a notion before.

It seemed that the question had irritated Misa, her brow furrowed before she shook her head, “I’m sure. I wish to use my life as a servant of Kira, this power, it will help him, I can help him. It the most I can do with the second life I’ve been given.”

Of course. How could Rem forget her love for Kira? After killing the criminal who murdered her parents Misa had started to align with him more. She had been attracted to the idea of a vengeful God who killed wrongdoers. It was oddly Romantic in a way, the idea of Justice, the prospect of how the innocent would soon feel safe to walk the streets in the dead of night. How she could soon feel safe in the dead of night, especially now that she and Kira had a common power, never again would anyone attack her. She had only been more pleased when she found out that Kira was not in fact like a God like the ghost-white Shinigami before her, Kira was human, he was just like her. ‘It’s almost like destiny is it not’ Misa had mused mostly to herself, a soft sigh escaping her list ‘how romantic’. And she had something in common with him, only she would soon have the eyes and she would be more powerful than Kira. She would never dream of overthrowing him of course, she only wished to be his eyes.

The Death God let out a sigh and nodded, “Very well then.”

Rem had seen many eye deals in her life span, she had seen the results of those deals, and she saw the downfall of each and every one of those who accepted the deal – and to all who made use of the Death Note. Only this time, there was something different, Rem had never witnessed a human make an eye deal purely to be a servant for the other user of a Death Note – then again, she had never seen the Death Note being used in such a fashion. She had seen the Death Note pass many hands, each different, but all usually following the same theme, pure murder. Nothing ever as organised or complex as what Kira was attempting with the creation of a ‘new world’. Unlike her fellow Gods of Death, Rem took no pleasure in watching the chaos unfold, humans were disgusting, vile creatures; immature and blinded by a power they could never understand.

Yet there was something about the blonde before her that was intriguing. There was something inside her that Rem did not have a word for, she wished to find that word, and understand the small girl before her. It was the least she could do. The girl smiled up at her, a brief flash of red in her eyes before they returned to her alluring blue. Rem witnessed her remaining years split in half, yet, the soft smile on Misa’s features did not falter. She giggled slightly

“Now that we’re finished here, time for me to wrap up the rest of my plan, whaddya think Rem?”

Now that she was reflecting on it. Perhaps the look in Misa’s eyes that night they met was not fear, perhaps it was fascination.

Chapter Text

You had always found it fascinating that the human body just knew things. How your body knew you were not going to sleep in that morning and your eyes had snapped open ten minutes before the alarm you had set the night before. Your clothes were laid out ready for you to change right away and not waste time second-guessing yourself on everything you looked at. You had tried to keep it simple; a pleated skirt, a white blouse along with a blazer (that was still on the hanger) that Auntie had given you one Christmas. You didn’t want to be overly formal but you knew that your parents had planned on going out for lunch after the welcoming ceremony and it was best that you avoided any comments about your choice in attire. 

Your reflection smiled back at you as you slowly spun side to side, your skirt flowing, resting at your mid-thigh. It was one of your favourites; it wasn’t too restrictive so you could still run and actually do things in it, opposed to your tighter pencil skirts. You pulled at your blouse that was tucked into your skirt to pouch it out slightly. It was happening, you had made it into To-Oh, you were officially a university student. You had the urge to pinch yourself, that’s usually what people did when something was too good to be true right?

You sat back down at your desk; it was much tidier now that you had not been stressing every night over the fear of not remembering anything you had learned in your high school years. You reached out to the dish where you kept your accessories, your watch, which you had slipped on effortlessly, and red ribbon. Your ribbon was entwined in your fingers as you started to pull your hair out of your eyes, checking the mirror to be sure you didn’t create any unnecessary bumps. Your line of sight trailed over to your acceptance letter, it was laid out on top of one of your books, your eyes skimmed over the words that still seemed unreal.

This is an acknowledgment of your application to study in the Law and Psychology program with our university through a double degree . . . It is with great honour that I inform you that your application was successful and that you have been accepted into To-Oh University. 

We are pleased to inform you that your outstanding mark has placed you in our . . .  We are looking forward to watching you grow and embark on your journey at our University. Due to your marks, we would like to – 

Your eyes drifted to the reflection of your door when you heard a knock, you called out for them to come in, suspecting Sayu was practically burning with the need to pounce on you and scream her excitement.

As much as you would have loved to have been crash-tackled to the hardwood floor, you were happily surprised to see it was Light who walked in. You glanced over your shoulder flashing a quick smile with a good morning, of course, he was already dressed and ready, although you doubted it was because he was bubbling with excitement more than that was just how he functioned as a person, his jacket was folded over his arm and red tie loosely hung around his neck, not yet tied, “Need help?” he asked and you shrugged slightly, reaching your hand out to pass him the ribbon.

You turned back to face your mirror, revelling in the feeling of his fingers running through your hair, so gentle and precise, he seemed to always have a skill when it came to using his hands, you felt your mind linger on that thought and quickly snapped out of it, changing the topic out loud, “I still can’t believe you’re giving a speech, I’m so happy for you,” you couldn’t hide your smile. He only hummed slightly, more like he made an audio response to seem as though he was listening more than truly responding to you. Your brows furrowed for a moment before you turned your head to the side to get a better look at him which had caught him off guard for a moment, his eyes narrowed in focus on the ribbon in his fingers had widened for a moment, his mouth agape slightly before a small smile appeared.

“Sorry, I was just thinking,” he assured, you didn’t have to ask, he just saw straight through you, his twirled his finger to gesture for you to turn around, which you obliged, he seemed to had been taking longer than usual to do your hair – not that you were about to complain.

“No, no need to be sorry, I was just checking.”

“I know,” he said in a low voice, a warm tone to his voice that ran down your spine, “what about you, are you nervous?”

You laughed anxiously, “I’m not the one giving a speech, I just got to sit and listen, no one will be looking at me.”

Hmph , he smirked slightly, and you felt him wrap the ribbon around your hair as he started to tie the bow, “Well I for one will be keeping a careful eye out for you,” he tightened the bow and his hands trailed down to rest on your shoulders, even though this was no longer a foreign feeling to you, the butterflies and the warmth in your cheeks never seemed to subside; you felt him lean over you to plant a soft kiss to your cheek and you immediately brushed him off out of nerves and buried your head in your hands on your desk, stammering something along the lines of what if Sayu saw.

“She’d immediately start planning our wedding,” he said in a cool tone, a hint of amusement in his smirk. Your cheeks heated up and you once again tried to hush him as you got up from your chair and rushed to your door to close it. The two of you had decided to keep your relationship private for the moment; you had worried that he would find your anxiety to be bothersome and push for you to be more public, but he seemed very open to the idea you had questioned for a moment if there was a hint of relief in his agreement, as though it was one less thing for him to worry about, you knew that it was more likely that it was the voice of your doubt talking over reason, while you had just decided to ignore it, it would linger at times.

One reason you why you had decided to keep it quiet was that you didn’t feel it was appropriate to be dating him and living in his house, you were not about to upset Auntie; but that was a minor issue in your eyes, the major reason you didn’t want to fully go public with it was your parents. You had told Light in the past that you weren’t ready for your parents to know about the two you. Light had been accommodating, you suspected he knew full well that it would turn into more drama than it was worth – you could clearly envision them interviewing Light on how he practically saved their reputation, how you could manage to be with someone so prestigious, or if you were holding him back from his full potential. This didn’t mean that you kept everything purely behind closed doors, on the contrary, it was best to keep it out of closed doors, both of you had hardly seen anyone from school after graduation, and you both doubted word of mouth would travel far enough to reach either of your parents. Although, Light had an infuriating habit of flirting with you or attempting to make you flustered when his family was around; jokingly using pet names to which his mother would just think he was going out of his way to annoy you (‘Light leave her be, you’re lucky she hasn’t hit you yet’)– which in fairness, she wasn’t far off. You distinctly remembered the night you and Sayu had been watching some romantic comedy and Light had soon swooped in to change the channel, which had immediately been met with protests from yourself and Sayu, he had only just given you a cocky smile ‘aww do you not like it princess?’, you had been completely lost for words and had attempted to cover your stammers with whining – because that would totally work ‘oh my god shut up you suck’/‘you’re such a pest’. Every time he did anything in front of them it would just leave you on edge. While you were pretty sure the Yagami’s wouldn’t mind it that you were dating their son, they may prefer it when you weren’t living in their house.

Light’s laugh had cut you out of your thoughts, you glanced over to him to see that he was shaking his head in an oh-my-god-you-you-think-so-loudly-I’m pretty-sure-all-of-Japan-can-hear-you-stressing.

“Don’t even say it,” you cut him off, a smile creeping on your mouth whilst you tried to hold your laugh.

“Wasn’t going to say anything,” he defended, raising his hands. You glared at him for a moment before you sighed slightly and leaned against your door, “anyway, I need your help.”

You raised an eyebrow, not catching on, and glanced down to his hand that was gesturing to his tie, “You forgot how to do your tie?”

“You forgot how to do your ribbon?” he shot back – he got you there.

“Touché,” you chuckled slightly, you still leaned your back against your door while you adjusted his tie, this was a typical scene in those classic romance movies, the husband goes to his wife with his atrociously done tie and she fixes it. You could not recall such a scene happening with your parents. Your father was quite capable with his tie skills, often doing complex knots that you weren’t exactly sure how to do – you recalled a distant memory of you sitting with him when you were seven or so, he had come back from work early that day and was able to sit in the living room with you for a spell before bed, he had some medical drama playing in the background but he wasn’t paying attention to that as much as he was watching you try to tie a trinity knot, only for it to turn into a mess (you would master it during your first years in high school, doing whatever you could to add personality into your uniform), although he never seemed to mind – and your mother was always in a rush to leave the house herself, it was rare she had a moment to spare in the morning; although maybe once upon a time she did do his tie in the morning. Just the image of it in your mind felt foreign, as though watching strangers. Would that be the same for you and Light? Would you both just attend to yourselves, or would you be the type to fix each other up before leaving the house?

You had been running on autopilot while you did his tie, deep in thought, he didn’t try to interrupt, you adjusted it under his collar, the trinity knot was pristine – you couldn’t give him anything less – your hands reached behind his neck to fold his collar and made sure his tie was neatly tucked underneath, as your hands moved back to his chest, smoothing out the material under your hands, you lingered there for a moment then slowly pulled away. Before your hands could reach your side, you were stopped when Light gently grabbed your wrists, you glanced up at him, his eyes were fixed on you, an intense stare that would usually leave you to shrink away, but you didn’t move. Instead, you stared back up at him, waiting for him to call the next shot.

His light grip on your wrists was barely more than a feather touch as he leaned down closer to you, your hand instinctively cupped his cheek trailing along his smooth skin and snaking around his neck when his lips connected to yours, a warmth building in your stomach, your free hand pressed against his chest. You immediately felt your legs turn to jelly but fought against it leaning most of your weight against the door, “You think too much,” he murmured as he pulled away, resting his forehead on yours.

“You read my mind too much, isn’t that some kind of ethical issue? Invasion of privacy perhaps?”

“Take me to court and find out,” a little smart-arse smirk creeping on his features - now that you really thought about it, it seemed to just be a staple of his look, “I’m sure you’d love to see me in handcuffs.” you could feel his hot breath against your ear as he leaned in closer. You ducked slightly, escaping him, your cheeks were stained red and you quickly tried to change the topic.

“Uh - okay so my parents are going to want to say hi and invite you to lunch, but for your own sanity, I recommend you escape,” you laughed slightly, a failed attempt to shake off your nerves.

Light just chuckled slightly and shook his head, “Don’t worry, I’ll abide by our ‘restraining order’,” he  put his coat on, “besides every time your mother looks at me I feel like she wants to wear my skin - no offence.”

“None taken,” you sighed and grabbed your blazer and started to make your way to the door, “she’s terrifying, it hopefully won’t last longer than an hour I’m pretty sure they have to head back to work after so - what?” you cut yourself off when Light pulled at your arm preventing you from opening your door. 

“Stop stressing,” he said simply, you let out a sigh and kissed his cheek.

“Sorry, thanks,” you smiled slightly and opened your door. 

“Am I still a pest?”

“Oh definitely.”

*** 

You had never heard Light practice his speech at home, which was not too shocking considering he was very much the type to keep his projects to himself. It was also not surprising to hear that his speech was eloquent and poignant. However, the point of everyone’s focus was not the speech, but the student next to Light, you remembered Light had mentioned that he would be giving a speech with another student but you hadn’t thought much about it until you saw him. Hideki Ryuga . He had the same name as the actor, that was the first thing that had caught you off guard, the second was how he looked . You didn’t want to be the type to focus on what people looked like or the superficial, but you couldn’t help yourself when you saw the two of them standing side by side. To-Oh was a prestigious school, so when you saw Ryuga in a loose t-shirt that seemed too large for his body with scrappy jeans, you were taken aback, it was such a stark contrast to what was the ‘expectation’ of To-Oh, Light being what is the expectation for To-Oh, and Ryuga? Perhaps untapped talent – well perhaps not ‘untapped’ he did also get the top score in the entrance exams. Mad genius? That seemed to fit more.

Ryuga didn’t make eye contact with the room, his eyes seemed more fixed on his paper that he held away from him, as though barely wanting to touch it he spoke in a low smooth monotone voice, as though knowing exactly what he was going to say before he said it, it even seemed as though he was bored of it all, “ . . . it is with honour and pride that I stand here to represent the highest achievers in To-Oh next to my fellow speaker. As we embark on our academic journey it is vital that we strive to achieve and reach our greatest potential –”

“-They’ve both got to be absolutely insane, the guy on the left seems like he never leaves the house,” you heard a boy near you whisper, you glanced to your side and saw two boys huddling next to each other to try and keep the conversation to themselves.

“Yeah but I can get that, I mean how do you get those kinds of marks and keep a social life? Something has to be wrong with you.”

When you looked back up to the stage, Ryuga had said his final words and had started to fold up his sheet of paper, you could have sworn that it was blank but you just shook it off as a trick of the lights and shook your head slightly and clapped as the two men walked down the steps back to their seats. Since Light had to give a speech for the ceremony, he was required to sit at the front with fellow presenters for convenience's sake. You had just found the first empty seat that was easy to get to and gave Light a short wave as he went to his seat.

The remainder of the ceremony had representatives discussing opportunities for high achieving students, the Deans merit list, soon closing with congratulations to all new coming students, and to expect timetables and textbook list to be sent out within the next few days for you all to be prepared for classes. Students soon flooded out, you snaked through the crowd and waited out in the opening foyer, one eye watching for your parents and the other for Light. You pulled your phone from your coat pocket and checked your texts.

(no new messages)

The notification didn’t seem to stop you as you opened your conversation with Matsuda.

MATSU

Is Mr Yagami okay?

You weren’t sure why you had bothered; it was closer to an act of setting yourself up for failure than anything. You let out a sigh before you started a new text.

MATSU

Are you okay?

You hadn’t even had time to send it before you looked up, the feeling of someone watching you loomed over you, you looked around for a moment at the sea of faces of students, some had started talking in small groups, you assumed friends catching up after the break and having a chat, somewhere deep into themselves, unaware of everything around them as they waited along the path for their ride, somewhere loitering around on the phone but out of the way of those in a rush to move along. You locked eyes with a raven-haired girl, she was standing with a group of friends chatting away, one of them, a taller boy, was very animated while he spoke, the rest of the group listened to him and snickered to each other. All expect the girl, once she caught your eye she just stayed locked onto you, her eyes were intense under her fringe contrasted by the soft smile on her lips, she was swaying side to side slightly, her red jacket folded over her arms, her contact only broke when the rest of the group laughed at something the taller boy said and he joined in and looked up at him. You immediately looked away, the gross feeling of awkwardness washing over you, why did you have to stare for so long? It was only for a couple of seconds but it felt so much longer. That was so stupid, so dumb, you wanted to shrink into nothingness and shook your head slightly.

You cleared your throat and looked around the crowd to see if you could find Light and escape the awkward situation that you had put yourself in. You sighed in relief when you saw him walking out, not alone, but talking with Hideki Ryuga. You didn’t want to intrude on their conversation, you looked back down at your phone and in a saving grace, you had a text.

FATHER

We’re here.

Not what you were hoping for, but a text was a text. You looked back up towards Light, a black limousine had pulled up and Ryuga got in. Was he from old money? A humble genius? You walked over to Light who seemed taken aback slightly when you called out for him, as though he forgot you were there. You pulled him in for a hug, your arms wrapped around his neck, “You were so good, I’m so proud.”

His hand rubbed your back in a soothing motion before you let go, his voice seemed distant, quieter than usual, “Thank you.”

Usually, he would brush it off with an ‘it’s nothing to praise me for’ or downplay it, but he seemed tired ? You couldn’t place your finger on it, and you didn’t want to push it and upset him, “You got to talk to Ryuga?”

“Hm?” he was distant, there was no doubt about it, his head seemed clouded and unable to focus, even his eyes seemed to not be focusing on anything in particular, did something happen?

“The other top placing student?” you raised an eyebrow, you squeezed his arm slightly in hopes it would comfort him slightly, he seemed to snap back in reality for a moment before he smiled down at you slightly, “Oh yes, I did, he’s an interesting one.”

You didn’t push it further with questions, and looked out of the corner of your eye and saw your parents walking down a path towards the foyer, you instinctively let go of Light’s arm, “My parents just got here, they’ll probably want to say hi, but just say you’re too busy for lunch, I’m not putting you through that.”

“Of course,” he nodded slightly, and let you lead the way, his hand on the small of your back something that you knew you would have to thank him for, while it was a small gesture, it comforted you and filled you with enough courage to be pleasant with them.

They caught eye of you – more likely Light – and smiled graciously, of course, they were dressed in their usual formal attire, you could hear the click of your mother's heels before you heard her speak, the very sound of it triggered commands in your brain to straighten your back and to seem more alert, his hand soon leaving your back the closer you both got to them.

“(Y/N), Light, what a pleasure,” your mother smiled, you folded your hands behind your back and greeted your mother with a pleasant smile. Light gave them each a short greeting, shaking their hands, his usual charm never faulting.  

“So happy we were able to run into you while we pick up (Y/N),” she smiled, a more genuine smile than what you had seen her give to co-workers in the past.

“Well, I thought I may as well come to say hello before I head home,” Light chuckled.

“We actually wanted to congratulate you,” she added, “We heard about your placement in the entrance exams, your parents must be so proud of you.”

“Ah? Yes, they were quite pleased,” there was a quick flash in his eyes, looking down at you for a moment before returning to his usual self for them, an act the both of you were sure they didn’t notice.

“I’m sure (Y/N) still has so much to learn about from you,” was when your father had decided to join the conversation, “it shows true dedication you had for your studies.”

Your mother nodded slightly, “It’s a shame you didn’t rub off on her,” she looked at you more than she did Light when those words escaped her rouge lips. You felt Light’s hand return to your back, he stood close to your side so the act itself was hard to see if you were not watching from behind. His hand wrapped around yours, his thumb gently caressing your skin.

You tried to laugh it off half-heartedly to keep the air light, “We can’t all be geniuses.”

“Well two students did get the top mark, so it’s not exactly impossible now is it? Perhaps that could have been you had you tried harder.” You felt him squeeze your hand, in what seemed like an effort to comfort you, but it was oddly tight, almost painful. You felt yourself having to try not to react as to not clue off your parents.

“You’re right, my mistake,” you nodded slightly, “we should probably get going, can’t hold Light up for too long.”

“Oh, have you got plans for the rest of the day?” she asked, her eyebrow raised.

There was always something smooth about Light’s lies, how they easily passed as the truth and were never called into question, “I have to organise myself for classes, read up on the content, do some pre-class study so I’m prepared for when we start.”

It was not a test, but your mother seemed satisfied with the reply, of course, he passed a test that wasn’t even in place, she even let out a little chuckle, “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, do you need a lift?”

“No thank you,” he shook his head, “I don’t mind the train.”

“Your call. Send your family our regards,” she said in a soothing tone before gesturing to you to move along.

“I’ll see you later,” you assured him as he let your hand go, his grip much softer than what it had been.

***

Your mother seemed more tired than usual, her makeup couldn’t quite cover the lines under her eyes, there was a possibility that they were just from her age, but with the way you had seen her pinch the bridge of her nose while in the car, her eyes closed for a second too long, it all seemed to add up in your mind to her trying to cover exhaustion. Although, no matter how tired she may be, her tongue would always remain sharp. You had decided that it would not in fact be a fun idea to count how many times she mentioned Light or that fact that she hasn’t seen your entrance results, but to just zone it out after the third time.

You reached out for your tea and slowly took a sip, buying your time, you had tried to shift the conversation to your mother and father, how’s work? Have the attention on them, something you all preferred. You watched them while they talked, half paying attention, but no information was sinking in your brain. You could not help but notice how they had chosen to sit, across from you. It made you feel like you were on the hot seat for a job interview, one wrong step, and the next thing you know no businesses in Japan will hire you because of your screw-up. Was that intentional? Or was it just a position they were each used to putting themselves in, or even you, perhaps you were used to placing yourself on the submissive side, at least for them.

“The Yagami’s must be so proud,” your mother sighed, picking up her coffee. You hadn’t even realised that she had wrapped out her discussion about work, how she managed to wrap it back around to Light was beyond you but there was a part of you that wished to congratulate her because it surely was no easy task to feat. The thought itself made you smirk slightly, “his wife will be lucky too.”

“That’s thinking a bit ahead,” you blurted out before you even had a chance to realise, “I mean, we just graduated.”

“Facts remain facts,” she shrugged you off, “you should hope you can find someone like that.”

“I should be so lucky.” It was snarky. You knew it, she knew it, your father – who just took a bite of his food to ignore what you said – knew it.

She ignored your comment and placed her cup back into the saucer, “Any way we should discuss your career prospects.”

You raised an eyebrow and lowered your cup, “What do you mean? I’m studying, when the time comes, I’ll apply for internships, work experience, then move into the workforce.”

“Yes, darling but they’ll only hire you in prestigious firms if your marks are outstanding, otherwise you won’t stand out at all.”

That cut. Deep. You blinked, doing everything you could to remain composed, there was no chance that you would let her see you falter.

“Your father and I have been talking, and while we can’t have you work in our businesses due to ethics and such, we could perhaps pull strings to and recommend you to some businesses, you’d be starting from the bottom . . .”

You started to zone out, your eyes fixed on the table, your hands wrapped around your cup, refraining yourself from tightening your grip. You could vaguely hear your mother talking for your father, you had theorised years ago that he knew not to add his opinions on these discussions and to just let your mother do the talking. You swallowed hard, and slowly lifted your cup to your lips.

“Unless you find an achieving husband then you’ll have nothing to worry about.”

‘I don’t see why it’s so hard to believe that I may actually be successful,’ you wanted to say, ‘that maybe I don't need your petty handouts.’

“(Y/N)?” her voice almost made you jump, that maybe you had actually spoken out loud, but you knew you didn’t, you just wish you did, “I know you’ve got this picturesque idea in your head of what your life is going to be, and that you’ll excel, but you need a backup plan, we all do.”

But that wasn’t what this was. That was never what these conversations were. Perhaps in their minds, they were being the noble parents to their ungrateful daughter. But you knew the pattern. It always turned into a discussion on how you were not going to make it, that you needed to keep your head out of the clouds and focus on pushing yourself further. In high school, it was that you needed to not focus on extracurricular activities and dedicate yourself to your studies so you could make it into a good university. Now that you were in a fantastic university, it was you should not rely on your degree and instead hope they would be so gracious to give you a job when you graduated because you would never be able to do that without them - that was unless you planned on being in the top three percentile. It never ended. You knew what they wanted, they wanted you to be the best ‘my child is top of the class and is going on to be a lawyer, corporate’, they wanted something that other families could envy. But they never got that, instead, they got the daughter who was in the same year group as Light Yagami, Japan's greatest, how were you meant to compete? Not that you wanted to compete with him, he was your best friend, the one person that made you feel normal. But of course, there were complications with your parents constantly comparing you to him.

“Perhaps if you actually tired then you wouldn’t need our help,” was what had snapped you out of your daze, you looked up at her, there was no sorrow in her face while she spoke.

“Yep,” you said quietly, you didn’t know what you were meant to say, you just softly nodded and sipped your tea.

“I doubt the Yagami’s have to deal with this.”

Ten

***

You had received a text from Auntie Yagami that she was going out to drop Sayu at a friend’s house and that she would be home late, she had checked if you would be okay to mostly be alone for the night; your brain was so drained that you couldn’t fully string thoughts together, you just assured her that you were fine and made your way into the house. A weight had been taken off you the moment you took your shoes off. It had taken three hours instead of the one hour you had dreamed it would be. Auntie had been right, the house was mostly empty, you assumed Light was upstairs in his room, which you were going to soon find out. You let out a soft sigh as you took your coat off and made your way up the stairs, you glanced over at Light’s door, you were debating in your head if you just wanted to shower and go to bed and just pretend like the day hadn’t happened, or to just talk to him. The debate in your head ended with you at least just knocking on his door to see if he was okay to talk, especially after he had seemed slightly off after the ceremony.

You hesitantly knocked on his door, you heard a ‘hmm?’ from the other side of the door, “it’s me.”

He called you in and you opened the door, it was mostly dark in his room, only a lamp on his bedside table was switched on while he read. He back was propped up against the wall while he sat on his bed, his book in his lap, eyes fixed were fixed to the page he hadn’t even looked up at you, “How was lunch? You were out longer than I expected,” he turned a page and briefly glanced up at you, your back was turned and you were placing your coat on the back of his chair, he looked back down at his book and continued on, “Sayu’s got a sleepover and mum is visiting a friend I think she mentioned tha – hey, you okay?” he cut himself off when he felt your arm wrap around him once you had laid down beside him, he closed his book and set it down, he assumed you’d sit beside him and speak to him, but you were being far too quiet. 

You hummed back a response, neither a yes or no. He nudged you slightly and gestured to you to lift your head, he laid down on his back and outstretched his arm for you to rest your head on, you obliged and propped yourself up on your elbow while he adjusted himself. You laid back down on your side, your head rested on his shoulder, his arm curled behind you to rub your shoulder, you wrapped your arm and leg over him, your thigh rested on his hips to hug him closer; there was something comforting about having him so close to you, your mind felt more clear, and your body more calm. 

“Was it lunch?” he asked in a tone so low only you could hear, even though no one else was home.

You nodded ever so slightly, you hand fiddling with the fabric of his shirt, “You know my parents, always know the right thing to say.” 

He didn’t respond, he just soothingly brushed his thumb on your shoulder while you both laid in silence, there wasn’t really much he could say, you both had that understanding. He didn’t need to say anything, it meant the world that he was just there, that was all you could ever ask for. There was a long pause, a comforting one, before he spoke up, “How about next time I come with you?”

Your eyes widened slightly and you looked up at him, “N-no you don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t,” he said simply, “but I want to, even if it’s just as moral support.”

A weak smile crept on the corner of your lips, “I would really like that.”

He pressed his lips for your forehead, they lingered for a moment before your eyes returned to being fixed on your hand that rested on his chest. You felt him squeeze your shoulder, and you squeezed back, your arm snaking across his side to pull tighter; a sound got caught in his throat, a grunt along with a sharp breath, without warning, his nails had slightly dug into your skin, you were taken aback for a brief moment until it dawned on you your thigh had brushed against him when you squeezed, you breathed out a hurried apology as he rolled his shoulders slightly and took a low breath in, in an attempt to relax his then tensed body. 

He interrupted your stumbling apology, his voice was breathy, “It’s okay,” you could feel his body was slightly more tense around your body and all the sudden you could feel your heart pump through your chest, about to escape, his fingers gently brushed over where his nails had dug in as though apologising, a brief pause followed, “I can’t say it hasn’t crossed my mind.” 

You froze all of the sudden, your arm around him was more stiff, was he insinuating what you thought he was? No, there was no way. You hesitated before you slowly started to move your arm off his chest only to be stopped by his free hand that smoothly grabbed your wrist, you stopped for a moment and let him lace his fingers with yours, he squeezed your hand tightly which seemed to release the tension in his shoulders before he placed guided your hand back to where it had been. You swallowed, your heart was pounding in your chest, there was no way he couldn’t hear it, it was echoing in your ears. The hand on your shoulder squeezed again, longer than it had before, you parted your lips slightly as you breathed out of your mouth in hopes of keeping your breaths silent and steady. You were stiff again, afraid to move an inch, Light let out a tired sigh as he rolled to his side to face you, your legs entangling together, “Reading my mind again?” you attempted to joke and a soft chuckle escaped him before his hand reached out to delicately touch your cheek, his thumb brushed against your lips, lingering.

“Just wanted to see your face.”

A blush spread across your cheeks as you glanced down unable to meet his gaze, he continued to brush your cheek softly with the back of his knuckles, you attempted to create more space between the two of you, only for his arm to stay fixed in place against your shoulders, you wanted to speak, to apologise again, you hadn’t meant to, you had – “do you want to move?” his hand softly caressed your face, his thumb lightly touching your bottom lip, the low, soft tone had another meaning to it, his arm loosed around you, allowing you to move if you wished, but you didn’t want to; he closed the distance between the two of you, his mouth was hot, and burned against your skin, you groaned into the kiss when you felt this thigh press against your warmth and he took advantage of the moment to deepen the kiss. His hand trailed down your side, his thumb brushing dangerously close to your bust, edging just under the material of your bra, your back arched against him, in an attempt to have him touch you, to which he seemed to find oh-so-entertaining. He pulled you on top of him, you broke the kiss, his teeth grazing your bottom lip as you pulled away. You adjusted yourself to straddle him, your hips hovering above him as you kneeled above him. To your surprise he had nothing to say, he just pulled slightly at the material of your skirt, you took a moment to look at his face, the know-it-all smirk ever so present, his hair was disheveled, his tie loose, you reached out to undo it, his eyes were fixed on you, watching your every movement akin to that of a predator eyeing off its prey. You hovered over him as you tried to undo the knot, he had propped himself up on his elbows to make it easier for you, his face terribly close to yours - had you known you day had a chance to end like this you would have picked a far more simple to undo. You slowly pulled it off him and slowly lowered your hips down to his, grazing along him until you felt his member underneath you, you slowly started to grind on him, feeling him harden under your touch. He tried to keep his breath steady and control himself as he laid back down. You could feel your underwear pool the more you rocked against him. He matched your pace, a soft groan caught in the back of his throat. 

You reached down for his belt and this seemed to evoke something inside him, his hips thrusted hard against you, you choked on your breath not expecting it, he cleared his throat slightly, his hand reaching out to yours, “You don’t have to do that,” his voice was surprisingly steady, you looked down at him slightly confused, had you done something wrong? He seemed to catch on to your thoughts and sat up, wrapping his arms around you, his was clearly trying to keep his breath under control, his chest rising and falling.

“Did I -”

He cut you off, “No, no. It was good, really good,” he paused the thought of your hands undoing his belt while you rocked against him passing, his forehead pressed against yours, “let’s just - let’s focus on you okay?”

“A-are you sure?” 

“Mhmm,” he kissed you deeply and carefully moved you onto your back, he hovered over you, brushing a stray piece of hair away from your face,  “trust me, I really want to.”

“You don’t have to stop,” you said without thinking, you saw something flash across his eyes as he stared down at you - over the years to come you would become familiar with and recognise this as lust - he closed his eyes briefly and shook his head.

You felt his warm hand travel up your thigh, slipping under your skirt to the cool skin underneath, goosebumps travelled down your legs, a shaky breath escaped you when you felt him brush against the material of your underwear, “I just want to focus on you right now.”

A slender finger teasingly slid along your crease over your underwear, rubbing agonisingly slowly against you, the teasing movement made you squirm underneath him in a failed attempt to give you more. He only started to apply more pressure and pick up the pace when he leaned down, trailing kisses down your neck. You felt a knot build up inside you, your body had started to twitch.

“P-” you weren’t able to finish, what was meant to be words turned into a soft breath against his ear.

“Hmm?” he mused against your ear, his teeth grazed your earlobe, his nose brushed against your cheek as he tried to face you, you could already sense the smartass smile, “what was that?”

Really? He was still going to be a shit? You were going to roll your eyes but had been cut off from his hand slipping under your underwear and a slender digit entered your wet folds causing you to gasp. He chuckled against your skin as he slowly curled his finger inside you, his thumb rubbing against your clit, you tried to control your moans, but it only caused them to come out in whimpers, you felt his lips brush against your ear, “Hmm? Nothing to say?”

Your hips started to rock against him, trying to get him to go deeper inside him, you writhed underneath him, “L-Light,” you barely managed to get out in between your frustration, your head arched back in the pillows, “. . . more.”

“Has someone forgotten their manners?” he said lowly in your ear, you groaned in complaint, and he slowed down, teasing you, “hmm?”

“Please. . .” you whined, “p-please Light.’

“There you go princess,” he mused, inserting another digit inside you pumping inside and out, steadily picking up the pace, entering deeper each time. You felt the pressure build up in your body, your hips jerking with every move he made. A third finger slipped inside you and he pressed deep inside you, hitting your spot, your walls clenched around his fingers, your breaths were desperate gasps and moans, you felt your body tighten, a pleasurable pain forming, your moans only acted as fuel for Light, not slowing down against you.

The knot inside your body grew tighter and tighter until it suddenly snapped. Your body melted into the bed, head buried in the pillow. Blankets were pulled over you 

“Are you sure you didn’t want me to-”

He just shook your head and squeezed you slightly, “Seriously, don’t worry about it,” he bumped your forehead slightly, “give it some time.”

You nodded slightly and felt your eyelids grow heavier. 

“One day at a time.” That was the only way things could be done, in order, one after the other, after the other, after the other. And hope that while you took each of these days in stride that the pieces of the puzzle would soon fall into place. He of all people knew that. L had made the bold move to show himself, introduce himself to Light. Not only was it something risky on his part, but it was a power play, this was a move Light could have never predicted, but in hindsight, it was only the most opportune (and by all means interesting ) next step. How else would the world's greatest detective pin down who the real Kira is without touching base with his suspect? Only someone like L would do something so risky, but it may just be the first step to his inevitable end. At least, that was how Light was going to view it. One day at a time . . . was that more for you or him? Truthfully, both could exist at the same time, right? It didn't have to only be one way or the other, they could co-exist. 

He just needed to be careful about his next move, there was no doubt L would try to make contact with him once more once University started, and there was a suspicion within Light that he would try to talk with him at the Kira case - or at least Light would do what he could to make that a subject they touch and expand upon in the most natural way - and if he could use the information (Y/N) had collated together on Kira, there was a chance he could use it to his advantage. He wasn’t sure how he would have that come up in conversation - yet. He couldn’t risk roaming in her room to find her journal, that would break a certain trust between the two of you that he wasn’t willing to break. He just needed a way for you to let him in and be willing to talk about your theories. They could be the key. 

He just needed to take it one day at a time. 

Chapter Text

Heels clicked as she made her way to the door, she fumbled in her bag for the house keys, her husband was likely already home and in bed, if she was lucky he probably made some dinner for her and she wouldn’t need to stay up an extra hour just to cook and clean up. One could only hope at least. The door felt heavier when she pushed it open - as it usually did after a long days work, fatigue loved to remind her that her age wasn’t a fan of her late nights, no longer was she the energetic twenty-something that ran on coffee and three hours sleep. She double-checked that she had locked the door before she placed her eyes and work ID in the little painted dish near the door; the scratched ID still looked like the woman her, just a less tired version, one that somehow managed to get more sleep before the country started to fall apart after the Kira incident; she noted that she would soon have to update it, her name was barely visible on the hard plastic: Dr RIN (L/N) / forensic pathologist - head researcher. 

She was pleased to find that her husband had left a plate of food for her in the fridge - and better yet had washed up after himself, miracles do exist. She flicked her wrist, her watch face rested on the bottom of her wrist, midnight. Of course. Ever since Kira had started shaking Japan, her hours had stretched out longer than usual. While it wouldn’t always be a shock for her to return home in the early hours of the morning or the later hours of the night, usually that would be her own choice, staying behind at work to be ahead of her duties for the next day, or checking issues that had been brought up form her co-workers that she would decide to look into that would eventually snowball into a completely new issue. That was just how things worked in the hospital. 

However, in a post-Kira - perhaps “post” wasn’t the correct term since they were still “in” a Kira era - world, it was far busier. Patients would flood waitings rooms out of fear that the pains in their chest were an oncoming heart attack, rather than the more likely causes of anxiety, indigestion, inflammation, and other sensations - often being a nocebo, and people thinking they had chest pains while it was merely their heads creating the symptoms. Rin hadn’t worked on the main floor of the hospital for years ever since she had become a part of the board of directors - she cringed at the thought of what her life used to be, trying to be a researcher and prove her findings valuable only to be ignored and forced to try and fit the hours in, which had only lead to many sleepless nights - but with the recent influx of patients completely overwhelming the staff, she had found herself dealing with her responsibilities with the board and conducting her recent research on these sudden heart attacks on individuals to find if there was something that separated them from “normal” heart attacks, but she was needed more on the ground floor to assist practitioners with the influx of patients. 

Needless to say, she was exhausted. She dropped her stack of papers on the kitchen island, an exhausted sigh escaped her as she leaned against the bench for a moment, pinching the bridge of her nose, her eyes burned the longer she kept them closed. She laced her fingers together and propped up her chin, her eyes were fixed on the stool where her daughter had sat weeks before. That was the last time she had visited. Rin could still see the way her button-up loosely sat on her shoulders, the frayed threads that once held buttons, the way she wouldn’t look up at her, or tell her what had happened - how she didn’t want to tell her what happened - why wouldn’t she tell her? She felt the burning sensation in her eyes again and attempted to blink it away, locks of her dark hair fell out of place as she shook her head. She took a deep breath in and pushed herself away from the island. 

A string pulled at her stomach that urged her to walk to her daughter’s room. It was so bare. Rin recalled when her daughter last slept in there, she recalled how she quietly walked in and placed a glass of water on her bedside, she could recall the sinking feeling in her stomach when she had looked around her room, how it was so bare. No photos, no posters. No evidence that this was the room of a teenage girl. Just clothes in her closet that she hadn’t touched in years and a bookshelf filled with novels - did she ever read those to her? That same feeling sunk inside her again when she saw the perfectly made bed. Nothing had been moved, little ornaments that (Y/N) had placed on her desk or cupboards over the years sat in their designated spot. Never changing. The only evidence of a fragment of personality of the person who lived there were trophies and certificates that sat in a brown box did (Y/N) put those there? She sat down on her bed, the sheets were unnaturally cold.

Was this all her fault? Her husband would always tell her that she pushed her too hard, that she needed to give her a break; but he didn't understand what the World does to girls like them. She had to push her. The World was not kind to girls. Her daughter was capable, she knew that oh too well, but the World didn't care if you were capable, it only cared if you can do everything and more. The hardest part was that to be a woman in her field one had to prove that they were everything her male counterparts were and that she could do more. There were sacrifices she had to make to get where she was at that moment. Not seeing her daughter grow, watch her become more independent, missing sporting events. If she had the opportunity to go back, would she change anything? It pained her, but that was out of the question. Everything she had sacrificed, was for the sake of her family, to give them everything she could. 

(Y/N) though? Would she have to do the same? She hoped not, but the sinking feeling in her stomach only told her that she too would have to go through the same struggles she too had faced. The wheels of change move so goddamn slow, and it wasn’t fair. 

***

“Alright then,” the words escaped L in a bored sigh, he took a bite of ice-cream as be flicked through the pages of one of the many files stacked in front of him. A soft blue light filled the room, Soichiro was hunched over a table reading through evidence that had been assigned to him, Matsuda was on the couch, his eyes stayed closed for longer periods each time he blinked, L had almost considered throwing something at him, but he didn’t need to hear the loud dramatic complaints of others, the silence was actually quite refreshing.

It was official. He had made contact with Light Yagami, not just in an examination room, he had spoken to him, and now he was closer to confirming the identity of Kira. It would be a slow process, that he was most sure of, the cogs of the machine were slowly starting to turn. Before his next step, he had to be sure he had all the information set out. Soon he would make contact with Light once again at the university - a friendly tennis match should surely do the trick, a competitive sport, one where both he and Light were proficient, get the blood pumping, kick off the adrenaline, potentially increases the chance for risk-taking thereby being more likely that Light may just say something that could lead to a potential clue. It was a small but vital step. 

Light Yagami . . . are you really Kira? And if so, how do you kill? He glanced over at the open file of Light, short annotated notes in red pen written throughout the file, L’s eyes narrowed slightly as he took another bite of ice-cream and picked up the file to read alongside the other one. Underneath Lights profile was another: (L/N) (Y/N). He looked at the closed file for a moment before his attention returned to the file at hand, he threw it on the table in front of him and picked up one at random, he had memorised all of them, reading them again was merely child’s play, but to sit and do nothing would be far too boring – then again, so was re-reading the same information. He threw the file back on the table. He glanced back over his shoulder, Matsuda seemed to be slowly falling asleep, of course, he was.

He rolled his eyes and finished his ice-cream, pushing the dish to the side, it would get picked up soon. He could sense the burning question on everyone’s minds, what if Light Yagami wasn’t Kira? What leads did he even have? Light was his prime suspect, he didn’t have anyone else outside of that, none that made as much sense as Light did. None that seemed to fit the motive. Well, there was no time to think about that. There was another burning question, however, what were they going to do when Light became more involved with the case – that was the end game after all. He reached over to an envelope and pulled out the “evidence” left behind from prisoners, pictures of what they wrote before their death – L was sure to keep this information away from the public – when aligned in the right way the three messaged read: L, do you know Gods of death love apples? It was clearly a taunt. But L had added a fourth message a fake one, which when rearranged once again created the phrase:  L, do you know Gods of death who love apples have red hands? He couldn’t help himself, the cheek of it all. There was a chance he could catch Kira – if Light was Kira, he kept reminding himself -  off guard with the fourth photograph, only Kira would know that there were only three, a fourth wouldn’t shock anyone who wasn’t Kira, it was a way to catch them red-handed so to say. He the photographs back in the folder. This would be the test he would give Light before suggesting he joins them on the Kira case, what better way to investigate your key suspect than have them with you – while it surely could put him at risk if his suspicion was correct Light would be powerless against him as long as he didn’t have a name.

The reason that the latter question was on his mind though, was because of a loose thread. (L/N). While L had a general idea on what to do in the future regarding her, he was unsure about the present. There was no doubt in his mind that if he told Light that this was purely confidential and not to tell anyone in his personal life what was going on that he would listen and obey. But L had a sneaking suspicion – no, he knew – that (Y/N) (L/N) would grow suspicious, if not suspicious, there was a chance she would suspect Light was hiding something from her. There were pieces set on the chessboard, and L and maliciously planned it out. If everything went according to plan – as it should – he would have nothing to worry about. He suspected that there was a way for her to be a vital part of the investigation, even if she didn’t know it. At first, he had written her off as the dutiful girlfriend – at least that what he thought she was, he never heard the term being tossed around when the cameras were in the home – but after a brief investigation, turns out she’s very much someone who was riddled with lies. He had performed a very brief background check and profile on her, and found inconsistencies, it wasn’t until the cameras had been installed that he had confirmed his suspicions.

He grabbed her file and opened it to the first page, her school photo was paperclipped to what had been a first impression report he had made after interviewing Soichiro. Many of the things he had written had now been struck out with red pen, a sticky note on top: refer to page 5, paragraphs i-iv have been revised. Further interview required.

He tossed it onto the table and sighed, he called out to Soichiro and Matsuda to change shifts and get some rest, how he would need them back at five in the morning to discuss his plan of action. When they had started to leave L called out for Matsuda to stay behind for a moment, he almost regretted saying this as the officer soon turned into a nervous wreck already apologising and swearing that he didn’t mean to fall asleep.

“Matsuda you idiot I’m not discussing that,” he sighed, utterly bored, he gestured for Watari to walk over – just like the perfect assistant, Watari knew exactly what L wanted – L held his hand out and a small flip phone was placed in his hand. L gave it to Matsuda, “turn it on and tell me who has messaged you recently.”

He seemed confused, but did as told – much like a dog L could help but think, he clicked through his phone after a moment and raised an eyebrow, “Uh, my mother, some friends and –”

“In relation to the case.” He said bluntly.

He seemed to clue in at that, he looked almost uncomfortable, “uh, (Y-Y/N) (L/N).”

“What did she say?”

“She asked if the chief is okay.”

Fair enough, she hasn’t seen Mr Yagami for so long now, but instead of going to the station and request for a message to be sent to him directly, she messaged Matsuda. Surely that revealed some sort of trust, especially for someone like him, an idiot.

He held his hand out and Matsuda gave it to him, L briefly checked the date, it wasn’t recent enough to take action, “the next time she messages I’m going to need you to reply can you do that?”

“Uh, yes, yes of course,” he hesitated, cutting himself off at the end from asking anything else. Is she in any kind of trouble? Is she okay?

“Good, I’ll hold onto this and keep you updated,” he said simply, “you can go now.”

He soon returned to fumbling over his words and apologising as he left in a rush. L glanced back at the phone, he readjusted his plan, in fact, it would be a lot smoother now, with Matsuda as his in. Perhaps he wasn’t always useless.

“Would you like another serving sir?” Watari asked as he picked up the empty sundae cup.

“Yes, Watari.” 

Chapter Text

A paper from 1973 from Christopher Bird and Peter Tompkins discussed the effect of music on plants and how it can be an effective method to assist plant growth. Dr T. C. Singh recorded a growth increase rate of 20% when classical music was played, and 25% when raga was played in his 1962 paper. In recent years, it’s said that even jazz music has a positive effect on plants. And what were humans but big plants that talk (minus a few technicalities)? At least that was the excuse you had made up as an excuse to play jazz music in your room while you got dressed for your first day of university. You had recently taken a liking to Julie London. There was a certain vibe about her that you were into, you couldn’t quite place your finger on it. 

You tightened your ponytail before you tied your ribbon in its usual bow, you looked at yourself in the mirror and hooked a finger around your turtle neck and pulled it down and exposing the dark mark on your neck, you hadn’t planned on wearing a high neck top, but you also didn’t need anyone to see the mar Light had left on you. You chuckled slightly before you double-checked your bag to see if you had everything, no planner .

You let out a sigh as your fingertips brushed across the spines of the books along your shelf until they stopped at your day planner, you pulled it out and lingered on the spine of the notebook Light had gifted you. Did you really want to bring that to university? You pulled it out and flicked through the pages, you hadn’t updated it for a while, you hadn’t even checked if the predictions you made had come to fruition. 

. . . Kira clearly has a great influence on the general public and considering how his power seemed to come from out of almost nowhere, who's to say that someone else doesn’t also have this power, or that perhaps Kira is able to share his power? With how popularised Kira has become in society I predict that soon we will see a second Kira or that perhaps a second Kira already exists - perhaps “Kira” intends on becoming a group.

Note:

• I should look into seeing if there is a difference in Kira’s pattern (“morally”)

• Perhaps that’s why small-time criminals have been dying 

You bit the inside of your cheek and closed the notebook. Hesitantly, you pulled it closer to your chest. You didn’t have to write in it, who knows, maybe it could just turn into your study notebook and leave everything else in it in the past. You knew your - for lack of a better word - obsession with the Kira case wasn’t healthy for your mental wellbeing, you had even considered hiding it somewhere in your room or leaving it at your parents home, you’d be mortified if anyone found it and saw how obsessive you had become, borderline delusional. If you took it with you today you could possibly make a quick stop at your parents and leave it there - or throw it away . . .

“You going for a 20s vibe?” 

You immediately jumped when you heard Light’s voice, you quickly shoved the notebook in your bag and looked over your shoulder to flash a smile, “she’s more 40s.”

“How could I be so foolish?” he smirked, “you ready?”

You nodded and grabbed your coat and swiftly made your way out the door with him. The commute had remained the same as the day before - except for the quick coffee stop before class. You had both arrived at To-Oh relatively early, especially for Light, your first class started at 8 AM while his first class was an hour after that, you knew he wasn’t the type to want to show up too early, but he seemed insistent on arriving with you - not that you minded. You both agreed to meet up a little after midday when your time tables aligned to have lunch together. You had blushed slightly when he kissed you goodbye on your temple when you had started to walk to your class. 

You had three classes back to back from 8 AM until 1 PM. You could already sense how overwhelmed you would feel when assessments would start to pile up, but lucky for you, your classes had been your professors discussing the subject outline: what topics would be covered in the coming weeks, key dates of when assessments and exams were, as well as a brief explanation of where the emergency exits were. You had found yourself somewhat zoning out during your last class and putting more concentration onto your draft study time table to what you thought would be the most achievable.

“Any questions?” your lecturer, Dr Mori had looked up from the podium towards the sea of faces of the students in the theatre, she had run ahead of schedule and explained how she would be able to fit in a quick Q&A. In normal classroom jitters, there was hesitation among the students to actually raise their hands to ask anything, most students glanced around to those beside them to see if someone else would speak up first. Dr Mori waited a moment, a thin smile across her face as she scanned the room, “Well, in that case, we can call it a day now remember -”

“Do you think the Justice System will change now that Kira is here?”

The question had caught her off guard, her smile soon faded, her eyes fixed at the student who had spoken, a boy in the middle row, everyone had turned to face him, you lowered your pen to watch it all unfold. There was no doubt in your mind that everyone was thinking the same thing,  “I mean, do you think laws will be adjusted to account for his existence?”

She adjusted her papers in front of her and cleared her throat, “Well, I suppose that is topical, and I can’t exactly blame you with everything in the news, it’s probably good to know you all care,” she let out a short sigh, “I can’t give a definitive answer, but all I can say is that it won’t just be the law that adjusts, the world will change.”

***

You were relieved when you left class, it had left a bad taste in your mouth, everyone else seemed to feel the same. The theatre was oddly quiet as everyone left, in your other classes everyone would soon erupt with loud chatter some needed to yell in order to be heard over the noise; but that class? The most you heard were low murmurs and the shuffling of students wanting to escape the awkwardness. You overheard two students behind you while you walked out, they kept their voices low, as though to avoid being overheard. 

The cool breeze greeted you once you were outside the lecture theatre. You checked your watch, just before 1 PM, you started to make your way through the courtyard to the café you and Light had agreed on meeting at. You debated for a moment if you would tell him about how Kira came up in class, but a part of you didn’t want to drag him down, it wasn’t exactly the most positive thing to talk about. 

To your surprise. Light was already at the campus café, his back was towards you which gave you a clear view of his top-scoring counterpart sitting across from him: Hideki Ryuga (you still couldn’t get over how he had the same name as an idol) - whose knees were tucked close to his chest, you couldn’t imagine that sitting like that would be comfortable. It shocked you, to say the least, but who were you to say who he could and couldn’t hang around with. Ryuga was the first to notice you as you walked up to them, his eyes were locked onto you for a brief moment before he had turned his head back to face Light, saying something that had made Light look over his shoulder at you.

Light immediately stood from his seat to greet you, his arm wrapped around your waist and gave you a kiss on the cheek after asking how your classes were. You were taken aback at first, but flashed a quick smile affirming that they were fine, your eyes locked onto Ryuga who was staring deeply at the two of you with a flat expression, his face unreadable, it had made you feel almost awkward, as though there was something astray about you, Light seemed the most unbothered by it and had just laughed slightly, “Oh yes, I forgot you two haven’t met yet.”

“No we haven’t yet,” you had started to extend your hand but stopped yourself when you saw Ryuga was making no effort to reciprocate, you just smiled politely as you sat down beside Light, his hand not leaving your side, “you gave the welcoming speech with Light, Hideki Ryuga right? It’s a pleasure to meet you” you don’t know why you chose to play dumb, a small part of you worried that you may seem obsessive if you were to remember his name especially when you hadn’t met before.

“Yes that’s right,” while his dull expression remained unchanged, you couldn’t help but feel as though he was staring right through you, as though to dissect you. It unsettled you in a way you couldn’t quite describe.

“This is my girlfriend  (Y/N) (L/N),” Light introduced, it still felt foreign hearing those words come out of his mouth, it sounded so natural coming from him, of course it did.

“Girlfriend? I imagined you were one to focus more on your studies than relationships,” It didn’t sound like an insult, but it still burned. 

Light laughed slightly, squeezing you slightly as though to reassure you, “Ah sorry (Y/N), Ryuga is just very straight forward with his words.”

“Ah no it’s okay,” you let out a nervous laugh and glanced between the two, the air felt slightly tense, you cleared your throat slightly in an attempt to change the subject, “are you both in the same course?” 

“Yes actually,” Ryuga said, “quite the coincidence isn’t it?”

“I insisted we get coffee after class,” Light informed you, squeezing your side slightly in a way that seemed to ease your nerves, “I thought it’d be a good way to get us to all know each other.”

“That’s sweet - oh do you want me to grab coffee?” you cut yourself off, an excuse to exit the situation would be a relief, Light let you know he’d have his usual order, and you nodded slightly before you smiled over at Ryuga, “would you like anything Ryuga? My treat.”
“No thank you,” he didn’t look up at you when he said that, but there was something in the way he said it that seemed to comfort you and ease your nerves when you got up from your seat to go order coffee.

Light’s eyes were fixed on you for a moment as you left before he looked back to Ryuga, he had been glad you had come to his rescue, they had only just sat down when you appeared, it gave him the perfect chance to play his role as reassuring boyfriend, in front of his ‘fellow student’, L (or as he was calling himself Hideki Ryuga ). Light could feel that he was being analysed, the moment L had revealed his true identity to him during the welcoming ceremony the day before, and right then in that moment, L was gathering any information he could get on Light to build a profile. But unfortunately for him, Light was prepared for something like this to happen. He had refined his role: honour student who was the perfect son, supportive brother, and loving boyfriend - could someone like that truly be Kira?  

“Ryuga, if you wouldn’t mind,” Light smiled over at L, his calm demeanor never faltering, “while I really appreciate being able to talk to someone who is working hard on the Kira case, might I request that we avoid that topic when (Y/N) is here? I doubt you want the general public to know about your identity, also, I wouldn’t want to cause her any worry.”

L stared at him for a moment, his half lidded eyes barely blinking before he spoke, “I had no intention of letting her know anything, such a thing would be a waste of time for me.”
“I suppose you’re right,” Light chuckled slightly, “I just wanted to be sure, we could still talk though.”

“I’m afraid I will have to cut our meeting short actually,” he said flatly.

“Oh?”

“Mhmm, however, if you’d like, I would like to invite you for a game of tennis tomorrow.”

Tennis? What kind of joke is that, could he really analyse me from a tennis match? Would rejecting a request like that make him seem suspicious? Only the real Kira wouldn’t want to associate with the detective L - then again, Kira likes a challenge . . . “I would love that,” he smiled. 

***

He needed to be in control. Light could recall the two times he had lost control since the death note, and that was two times too many. The most problematic one had been killing Lind. L. Taylor on national television. Big mistake. That very action had led L into knowing that Kira lived in Japan, and was now why he was a major suspect, no doubt why L himself introduced himself to Light. He still cringed inside every time he thought about it. The other time, had been during the time he was being investigated by that FBI agent, Raye Penber, his jaw clenched at the thought. Ever since obtaining the death note, Light had noticed that his impulse control was weaker than what it had once been, things that would never cross his mind, or be nothing more than a brief thought, were now thoughts he had to battle. He remembered the night after the “bus jacking” how he had grabbed (Y/N)’s thigh under the table. He had been aware that he had been somewhat distant to her since the movie night - to which had that interruption had not come he was not sure if he would have been able to hold back - and in his mind in that moment it had seemed like the best way to show her he was interest, in hindsight, it was not a good move on his part. Ever since, he had been making attempts to control his impulses. 

He had been handling his impulses better than that time, when she had sat on his lap, her hands around his belt, he wanted nothing more than to have her then and there, for her to rip his belt off and make him forget about the stresses of that day, but he knew he had to control himself, he couldn’t fall weak to desires. He had to . . . test his vigor. 

He closed his eyes as he thought about the day before, the act he had to play which had almost made his  perfectly crafted persona crack.

His fist was clenched while he watched the limousine leave the premises, his thoughts were overlapping, yet everything felt silent, like the calm before the storm. His jaw was clenched as he stared at nothing in particular while he tried to gather his thoughts, he had jerked slightly when he heard his name. His eyebrow raised when he looked for who had called for him only to see it was (Y/N), he didn’t even have enough time to collect himself before she hugged him, her arms wrapped around his neck, congratulating him on his speech. He simply sunk into your hug, resting his head in your neck, he needed to collect himself and calm his thoughts.

“Thank you,” he said in a whisper, not for congratulating his speech, but for being within his arms reach so he could recollect himself and not embarrass himself.  That was L, the L, moreover, that was L using an alias of Hideki Ryuga. This was dangerous. This wasn’t what he needed. He didn’t need this. He needed to be alone, he needed a moment to think alone without pondering eyes. He hadn’t been listening to what you had been saying, he was too out of it. He had vaguely heard you, something about talking.

“Hm?” he played off as though he had just misheard you.

“The other top placing student?” she pulled away from him and squeezed his arm, he knew he couldn’t falter in front of her and just smiled at her.

“Oh yes, I did, he’s an interesting one,” he joked slightly, an attempt to calm her nerves. Of course she noticed he wasn’t behaving normally, but as long as he kept his cool, he could play it off as fatigue.

As quickly as she had been worried, it faded, her hand leaving his arm when she looked over to her side, he glanced in the general direction and saw her parents as they made their way up. He agreed to see them for a brief moment - he had been grateful that she had said earlier in the day that he didn’t need to come to lunch with them, he needed to be alone as soon as possible, he didn’t know how much longer he could keep up this pleasant act. He needed to scream desperately. To react. 

His thoughts had been so wrapped up in L that he hadn’t realised how tight he was squeezing onto (Y/N)’s hand until he felt her try to pull her hand away slightly. He was thankful he would soon leave, his façade was slowly slipping. 

He shook his head. Your lunch with your parents had given him enough time to vent his frustrations to Ryuk, who had only been proving himself more and more to be useless. Some God of Death. 

As though on cue, Ryuk snickered, “So a tennis match between you and that detective hyeh?”
Oh for God's sake. Shut up.

“And?”

“Well if I were you I’d be on my toes, you may be confident after your little pep talk yesterday but one wrong move, and it’s all over for you.”

Light rolled his eyes, “Unless you have anything useful to say I’d recommend you don’t talk to me.”

Light wasn’t sure if Ryuk was capable of frowning, but the mock offended tone is what Light guessed was the closest he would ever get to such a thing, “Wow Light, I’m almost offended, you should be more grateful to have me around.”

“From what I understand you should be grateful to have me, after all, I’m the one providing you with entertainment am I not?”

Ryuk was about to talk again when Light’s door opened, it was somewhat amusing to Light how even though those without a Death Note could not see nor hear a God of Death, he would never speak over anyone - or at least rarely did so. Did Gods of Death follow common etiquette? 

Light glanced over at his door to see (Y/N) there with a smile, letting him know dinner was ready. 

Soichiro Yagami, once again, was not home for the night. Of course, you were in the know that he was working tirelessly on the Kira investigation, but it didn’t make the pit on your stomach go away, the dining room always had an air of something being missing; even if he was quiet most nights. You had asked Auntie Yagami if he needed anything and that you would be more than happy to deliver it to the police station for him, to your disappointment, she had admitted she hadn’t heard very much from him, but assured you that she would let you know. 

You had been keen for your shower that night, you had immediately grabbed your towel and change of clothes from your room after dinner. You had almost jumped in surprise when you opened the door only to see Sayu outside your door about to knock, “Oh, Sayu! Don’t scare me like that – are you alright?” you had given a startled laugh but the look on her face immediately changed your tone, she seemed nervous.

“Can I talk to you?” she asked, fidgeting with her hands, unwilling to meet your gaze. You hadn’t even noticed how quiet she had been at dinner, you had thought that perhaps she was tired.

“Y-yeah of course, come in,” you opened your door wider and she entered. She sat on your bed, her eyes fixed on her feet, hands in her lap while she picked at the hem of her skirt, “what’s wrong?”

She was silent for a moment, she seemed to shrink in herself, “I wanted to talk to you, I know I can’t talk to mum about it because ‘I’m too young’ and I don’t think Light will talk with me either. . .” she trailed off, you weren’t exactly clear on what she was leading on to, you didn’t know what could give her the impression that you were more available than Light or her mother, she pushed herself further up on the bed and hugged her knees, “you don’t have to tell me, but I . . . I just want to know.”

You hesitantly placed your things down and sat down next to her on the bed, you carefully picked your words and let her take her time, “Okay, what did you want to talk about?”

“It’s about Kira.” It came out far more blunt and straightforward than you had expected, as though the thought was on the tip of her tongue the entire time and she was no longer able to hold it back. It seemed to make sense, even you didn’t talk to Auntie Yagami or Light about Kira, and Sayu would be the most in the dark, you knew she was told her father was working on the investigation, but you doubted she was given updates. 

Oh. Was it the Misa interview? Her dad? “Yeah? What about him?” 

She took a breath in, her chin on her knees, “What do you think about him?”

Huh? That’s it? Why does she want to know? You paused for a moment, you bit your lip while you thought of what to say, you didn’t want to say the wrong thing and cause her distress, then again, how does one even talk about subjects like this in a non-distressing way?

It was as though she read your mind, her tone defeated, “You don’t have to say anything, I know I’m just a kid -”

“No, no,” you quickly assured her, “you deserve to know just as much as anyone else, it’s just a confusing time. Kira - I personally hope Kira gets caught.” you stated after a brief pause, you had to be honest, there was no use lying to her.

Her head tilted to the side to look at you, her eyes glassy, “Yeah?”

“Of course, and your dad is doing a really important job.”

There was a little glint in her eyes for a brief moment while she looked at you, “Even though he kills criminals?”

You nodded, “Criminal or not, I don’t think what he’s doing is right.”

“I – I think so too . . .” she blinked slowly, gathering her thoughts together, “I just – I’m confused because I know there are people who really love Kira, and they think he’s a good guy y’ know?”

You sighed and nodded slightly, so it is the Misa article, “Yeah, I’ve seen.”

“I just –” her voice cracked slightly, stopping her from finishing, “I just don’t want you all to get hurt.”

A tear fell from her eye and you immediately wrapped your arm around her, hushing her, “Oh Sayu, no, no, no,” it seemed that the moment you touched her that she let go and started to cry, she buried her head in her knees trying to cover her sniffs, your heart sank, how long had she been keeping this inside of her? “Honey, why would we ever get hurt? That’ll never ever happen.”

“B – because Kira will do anything to stop people from stoh-stopping him, th – the man on the TV, he k-kill-killed him. What if he does something to dad, or Light because they want to stop him, and he takes them away from me, I just –”

You cut her off and pulled her closer, she had started to breath faster as she got flustered in an attempt to control her tears, “Shh Sayu, your dad and your brother are the smartest people I know. They would never let him get close to doing such a thing.”

She hugged you tight, her tears soaking on your shoulder.

“You’ve been so strong for all of us, that must be so hard,” you ran your hand through her hair, soothing her. You both didn’t speak for a moment, you just held her there, running your hand through her hair while she hugged you, her sobs grew quieter, and her breathing steadied over time. She seemed content just sitting with you in silence.

She swallowed and rubbed her eyes, “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be,” you squeezed her shoulder and wiped the tears off her red cheeks, “Sayu, you know you can come to talk to me any time, right? About anything, middle of the night, when I’m not home, when I’m in class, whenever you want; I don’t mind if it’s about Kira, or about how dreamy Hideki Ryuga is,” you added in a joking tone and she giggled, giving you a short nod, “I always have free time to talk to you, no matter what.”

She nodded, “I know.”

“Now I was going to have a shower, but I think you need it more than me, even though I stink,” you smiled, attempting to cheer her up. Your stomach feeling lighter when she giggled, bringing a smile to your face.

“You better be quick before I change my mind.” You teased as you walked over to the door.

“In your dreams!” she laughed and quickly got up from your bed and ran over to her room. She had seriously bounced back quick, it had taken you by surprise if you were to be honest with yourself.

“You better be quick, I’m grabbing my towel,” you called out, holding back a chuckle when she yelled back at you that you were a liar. You shut your door and laid back on your bed, the thumping of Sayu’s steps and the inevitable shutting of the bathroom door echoing in your room, soon followed by the sound of the shower. You were going to keep more of an eye on her, or at least do what you could to assure her everything would be okay. 

Chapter Text

When Light had told you that Ryuga had offered a tennis match you were surprised, Light hadn’t picked up a racket in years, not even for a friendly game with his sister, and to play with someone he had only met that week? It was questionable to say the very least, there had even been a sinking feeling in your stomach that you weren’t able to place, it was an odd feeling, you didn’t feel as though he would lie about something so dumb and small about just wanting to play tennis with a new person he met, but it felt wrong. Of course, in true Yagami fashion, he had instantly noticed the questionable look on your face, the raised eyebrow, and tight lips as you watched him pack his bag. He had laughed slightly, as though that would soothe your nerves soon followed by the smooth sound of the ziiiiip filled the air as he explained in his familiar smooth calm tone that never faltered; he explained that it seemed to be the only thing Ryuga wanted to do for them to get to know one another and he merely wanted to accommodate him and let him feel comfortable. Great, you got suspicious of him being a nice guy, nice move, you are truly a horrible person. You had dropped it at that point and just gave him a pleasant smile and apologised for acting weird, to which he had brushed off and followed up with a smirk on his features and flashed you a wink when he spoke, “You’ll be my personal cheerleader right?” while it was meant playfully it had taken you aback, a lot.

You had just laughed nervously while you leaned against his door, “You know I’d love that, but I can’t seem to find my uniform. A shame really.”

“Unlucky me, never said you needed a uniform, though that would be interesting to see,” he glanced up slightly as he slung the bag over his shoulder, imagining it, the smirk still clear on his face.

You rolled your eyes and pulled at his arm your words falling from your mouth in a flat sarcastic tone, “Ha, you’re so funny, c’mon let go.”

Light’s arm had been lazily draped around your shoulders while he waited for Ryuga, his sports bag in his free hand while he stared down in a bored manner at the book you were reading. You leaned against him slightly and turned the page, you could feel him half paying attention to the pages but didn’t bother to ask him if he had finished the page before you turned it, he had always been a faster reader than you so it was a fruitless task. Your eyes had stayed fixed on the page unmoving until you heard the murmurs around you growing louder, you glanced up to see what the commotion was all about and instantly caught the eye of Ryuga making his way towards the tennis court. Light’s arm had stayed draped around your shoulders, you closed your book and pleased it gently in your bag, “Have you told him you used to play?” What had surprised you the most was Ryuga’s attire, you assumed - as anyone would - that perhaps he would wear some sort of activewear; yet he arrived at the court in what seemed to be his staple get up; his loose t-shirt and jeans. Would he really be able to move in that? You weren’t even sure if Ryuga was aware that Light was quite exceptional at tennis, would it be cruel to not let him know? Oh well, his funeral. 

“Hasn’t come up in conversation yet,” he gave a small shrug, he seemed very uninterested in it all, that heavy feeling had returned to your stomach, you knew you were being irrational, but it wouldn’t cease. Was he really only doing this to make Ryuga more comfortable? Is that it? Is he just trying to be a good friend? But why is he so bored – stop it (Y/N). You’re thinking too much –

“Ah (L/N) you’re here too,” Ryuga’s voice had cut you out of your thoughts and you quickly looked over at him with a smile on your face.

“Ryuga, so nice to see you again!” Light’s arm had remained draped around your shoulders as you spoke and stayed there as they exchanged a few words, something about the air between them seemed tense, you couldn’t place if it was just Ryuga’s lack of social understanding that made the conversation feel too robotic or if it was just straight awkwardness.

“I must ask Ryuga, did you know I’m actually pretty good before offering?” Light chuckled, his arm leaving you to grab the racket from his bag.

“Somewhat, I heard you used to play professionally for a brief period,” he shrugged, rather unbothered. You glanced down at his racket, the material on the handle was frayed and worn down, tape had been meticulously wrapped around parts that you supposed had been beyond recover.

“Do you play often Ryuga?” you asked.

He seemed to know what you were gesturing to looked down at his racket, “I used to play in the boy’s championships in England.”

He said that in such a flat tone. You hadn’t even noticed that your mouth fell agape for a moment before you shook your head slightly, gathering yourself, top student and athlete? Did Light have a lost twin? “Oh, well you should be all good then,” you smiled before you turned to Light, “I’ll see you after you’re done?”

“It shouldn’t take long,” he assured, “we can get something to eat after.”

“Sounds good to me,” he kissed your cheek before he walked on the court with Ryuga.

You watched for a moment before you opened your phone to see an influx of texts coming from Sayu, you sometimes forgot that she had a phone, she rarely used it, it had mainly ben for emergency calls to her parents and such.

SAYU

Thanks for yesterday 

When you come back from school can we watch a movie?

Only if you have time 

I’ll even let you pick

And maybe I’ll get snacks . . . 

Chocolate! Don’t tell Light though, I don’t want him stealing any 

You laughed slightly at the messages and sent her a quick text assuring her it was a great idea and that it would be a secret between the two of you. You had been complexly surprised to look back up and see that the game between Light and Ryuga had completely picked up and was far more intense. It reflected more of what Light’s competitions had looked like in the past over that over a friendly game, from the shouting in the crowd you could hear that there was a referee. You sighed slightly, it wasn’t too shocking, if the two of them were alike in any capacity then neither of them would want to lose, but this was ridiculous, right? Or did you just not understand sportsmanship?

“Wow, those two are really going at it huh?”

You hadn’t realised that the comment was directed towards you until you heard the same girl speak again, “do you know them?”

You turned towards the sound to be greeted by a raven-haired girl smiling at you, her long hair was pulled back in a high pony-tail which made her grey eyes stand out as they locked onto yours, while their icy nature seemed to only be intensified under her bunt fringe there was a softness to them that you couldn’t find a word for, you hadn’t realised that you had been staring at her for so long that you had forgotten to form a reply, your words soon spluttered out in a lousy attempt to form a sentence, “I’m sorry what?”

“I saw you talking earlier, sorry,” she added in the ‘sorry’ with a little laugh, realising how it might have come off a little weird.

“Oh, uh I only really know Light – the brunet,” you explained, “I’ve only met Ryuga twice.”

“Hideki Ryuga, right? Like the idol?” she laughed as she said it, “kind of makes it hard to refer to him.”

You laughed slightly, “Yeah a bit, I didn’t think it was a common name.”

She nodded her head slightly and looked back at the tennis game before she spoke up again, “You’re (Y/N) (L/N) right?”

Had you met before? You tried to recall the people you’ve introduced yourself to in hopes a name would stick out, she did seem somewhat familiar but you couldn’t place your finger on it, “Yeah that’s me, uh, sorry do I know you?”

“Oh sorry I’m Emiko Sato, fourth year,” she flicked her wrist slightly - adjusting the sleeve of her red sports jacket that was sizes too big - before she reached it out towards you to shake your hand, “I saw you at the welcoming ceremony.”

You thought back for a moment and almost wanted to recoil in embarrassment, she was the girl you had locked eyes with while you had waited for Light, “Oh yes I remember, you were outside the building, hi,” you shook her hand, “sorry but I don’t think I remember giving you my name?” You refrained from narrowing your eyes at her, you didn’t want to come off as though you were interrogating her but you knew for a fact that you hadn’t given anyone your name that day.

“Oh, the Dean gave it to me.”

That answer had completely taken you aback, what was worse was how upfront and confident she was when she said it, it was almost absurd, “I’m sorry what?”

She laughed slightly, she seemed to have realised how creepy it had sounded, “I’m the president of the swimming club, so sometimes if the Dean finds a potential member that she thinks could really benefit us, she’ll let me know.”

“Potential member?” you raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, we’re always looking for the best kind of members, I just had to meet you after seeing your profile – I didn’t see anything too invasive! Just what percentile you placed in and your extracurriculars, I’m not given anything like a timetable or anything,” she quickly defended after she saw your reaction about your profile.

You hesitantly nodded, “Uh, I haven’t swum in over a year, my times are completely out of whack, so I won’t really be any use,” you brushed off, “I won’t really do much for your team.”

“I thought you’d say something like that, it’s still too early to say it’s still the winter season,” she chuckled slightly, “no use? Don’t sell yourself short, you were captain at your school.”

You shrugged, “I was until I dropped it, I didn’t know it was still on my transcript, to be honest,” you were shocked, you didn’t think your teachers would keep that on there, especially since you had dropped out of your position rather abruptly and unprofessionally, never to show up to another meeting or support your teammates, you had just buried your head in your studies and left it behind, “sorry but I’m not really looking to join a sport at the moment.”

She gave you a warm smile and waved you off before she looked back at the tennis game, “Oh that’s alright, I wasn’t going to force you or anything, I just wanted to touch base at the very least.”

You followed her gaze, your eyes fixed on Light and Ryuga running along the court, Ryuga had jumped to hit the ball only to miss and skid on the ground. You winced and covered your mouth in an attempt to hide the hiss through your clenched teeth. You could practically feel the burn travelling up your side while you watched him on the ground. The referee started to shout out that the game was over, and Light had won.

“Wow that was intense,” Sato had cringed slightly too while she clapped along with the others cheering for Light, “awesome to see such a good game on campus!”

Trust Light to leave an impression, you sighed slightly, “This doesn’t happen that often I take it?”

“Not unless we have an event on.”

“Hey so I know I can’t convince you to join the team,” she broke your concentration, her cheery smile still on her features, “but would you like to get a coffee? I have a free.”

“Uh actually,” you looked over at the court, Light and Ryuga had already started walking away deep in conversation, uh, I guess we’re not meeting up. Super nice Light. You closed your eyes for a brief moment, it was one day, you didn’t need to get so antsy over it, when you looked back at a still smiling Sato she seemed to calm your nerves, “sure I’d love a coffee.”

“Awesome! I know the best spot on campus!”

***

“So Sato,” you had started once the both of you had ordered, she wasn’t wrong, the café seemed really nice, and was relatively quiet considering how big the campus was, and her years being on the campus had shown as she guided you through dirt paths behind buildings to use as short cuts that had far less traffic than the main paths around the university.

“Oh, you can call me Emiko,” she assured you as she reached out for her coffee, taking a sip.

Your eyes widened ever so slightly for a moment. Sato seemed to prove to be very forward in her approach again, and again, you tried to brush her off “Uh, anyway, you said that you’re a fourth year? What are you studying?”

“I’ve just started my master’s in business admin,” she smiled, and just like that, it seemed to make sense. She definitely had the right personality for a businesswoman, perhaps it was why she was so forward, “finance. Recently been in the works of finalising my spot at Yotsuba.”

You had almost chocked on your coffee, “Wait seriously? As in Yotsuba Cooperation? Aren’t they a huge company?”

She nodded, “Four years of hell and it’s starting to pay off, I started my internship there a year ago and turns out they find me somewhat useful,” she laughed slightly as she finished her sentence, “what about you though? What are you studying?”

“Wasn’t that on my profile?”

She laughed slightly, “Just your percentile and what extracurriculars you did in high school, the Dean likes to at least keep some things private.”

“Ah,” you paused for a moment, “I’m doing a double degree, Law and Psychology.”

“Oh wow, looking for a career in both?”

“I thought they could potentially go hand in hand,” you shrugged, “and if it turns out I don’t like one of them I’ll drop it.”

“Fair enough,” she shrugged, “I like your ambition, can’t say I’m shocked you don’t want to join the club.”

“Yeah . . .” you sighed slightly before you took a sip of your coffee, “how many people did the Dean show you?”

“Only three,” she shrugged.

“What?”

“People usually apply during orientation, that’s why I was at the opening ceremony, I had a stand up in the main grounds I was headed to after, the Dean only shows me people she thinks should be looked into, the other two had expressed interest but they haven’t been able to get to Tokyo yet,” she explained, and followed up after you gave her a questionable look, “your headmaster and co-captain gave you a glowing review.”

You wanted to sink into your seat out of embarrassment, had they seriously written you a recommendation? You would have to call your old captain and thank them – and apologise. Maybe you could consider at least turning up to one club meeting, just so their recommendation wouldn’t go to waste, or just send them an ‘I’m sorry’ fruit basket, either could work. 

“Sato -” you were cut off from your phone ringing, you rummaged through your bag and pulled out your phone and saw Sayu’s name, she probably wanted to talk about the movie night, you gave an apologetic smile to Sato, “sorry do you mind if I take this?”

She waved you off, “No you’re good!”

You mouthed a thank you before you picked up, “Hey Sayu what’s up?”

And just like that. Everything froze. Your heart played like a bassline of a song in your ear, picking up gradually. Everything seemed to move slower, yet way too fast, as though you were stuck in honey desperately trying to catch up with everyone else. You swallowed hard and took a breath in, “Sayu? Sayu breathe, it’s okay, what’s wrong sweetie?”

You instinctively got up from your seat, your free hand on the chair to balance you, you had never heard her so distressed. Sato looked up at you with a concerned expression on her face, a worried line across her lips before she mouth if everything was okay. You had just shaken your head, there was no use in lying to her, it was clear to see from how you were acting that things were clearly not okay, Sato had started to ask you if you needed anything but you blocked her out when you heard Sayu stutter through her words. She struggled to get through her words as she sobbed, all she could manage to get out was that you needed to come to the hospital and that she needed you there now.

“Sayu breathe it's okay I’m coming right now okay? Does Light know- okay I’ll be there right away, I promise, now take a deep breath sweetie, what’s happened?”

Her breakdown made sense the moment she replied, had you not have been holding onto the chair - or had Sato not have been holding your arm which you hadn’t even noticed - you probably would have fallen. You didn’t know how to process everything, Sayu’s trembling words were etched into your brain. 

“It’s Dad. He’s had a heart attack.”

Chapter Text

Sato had offered to drive you to the hospital, she didn’t pry further. You accepted, Sayu had said that Light was already on the way, and you didn’t want to waste time waiting for trains or taxis. You were sure to double-check that she was fine with it, she had brushed you off and paid for your coffee before she took you to her car and dropped you at the hospital. She hadn’t asked you questions in the car, the radio filled in the silence between the two of you, she would occasionally chime in to check you were okay and if you needed anything to eat or if you needed to be sick. You were glad she had bumped into you, the company was nice, you didn’t know if you would be able to cope if you had to make your way there alone, you think she understood that as well, perhaps that was why she had offered to drive you.

You blurted out your words the moment you saw him in the hospital bed, Auntie holding his hand and Sayu kneeling next to him, you noticed Light sat next to his mother, his eyes briefly fell on you in a greeting before they returned to his father, “Uncle! I’m so glad you’re okay,” you rushed towards the bed, your eyes started to burn again, you weren’t sure if you had any more tears to give. It hadn’t occurred to you at first that this was the first time you had seen him in so long, he looked completely different. The dark sunken rings around his eyes, his complexion reminded you too much of a corpse, especially while he laid there so still. He was nothing like the man who would come home, although it was becoming harder to even remember that man. Everything placed together in front of you, in hindsight it didn’t surprise you that you slipped up and called him ‘uncle’, you were just so happy to see him there in front of you. Alive.

His eyes had widened for a moment before he smiled gently, the new title was a nice surprise, he preferred it over your tendency to be overly formal with him, “It’s alright, the doctors said it was just stress.”

You blinked hard, trying to soothe the burning in your eyes and gave him a reassuring smile, more so for yourself than him, it was when you looked back to see if there was a free, no cigar. You leaned on the wall next to Light and just stayed there for a moment. You all talked, venting shared concerns that he was overworking himself, how he should come home, but everyone had seemed to not directly mention Kira’s name; an unspoken rule that you all had quietly agreed to. The conversation had eventually moved towards school, to change the conversation by him when his wife had pushed for him to ask for less hours, she didn’t protest and Light had been the one to keep everything calm as he mentioned university and Sayu soon joined to tell him about the kids in her class. While it was awkward at first, it was comforting to sit together and act as though – at least for that brief moment – that everything was all right and almost normal.

 “If you don’t mind, I need to have a word with my son alone,” he said, his voice was low and gravelly, he just sounded so tired. Auntie had already started to get up from her seat, her hand laced with Sayu’s as she started to get ready to go. You had just nodded assuring him that it was okay and that you hoped you would see him again soon, giving him a hug after Sayu. She pulled at your jumper urging you to follow. You gave a short wave to Light as you started to leave, you opened the door for Sayu and her mother only to be taken aback to see Hideki Ryuga standing outside, leaning against the wall, you locked eyes with him as you opened the door, why was he there? It made no sense. 

You weren’t given time to linger on the thought when you felt Auntie Yagami’s hand on your shoulder, you hadn’t realized you had been standing there staring at Ryuga, hand still holding the door, you looked up at her, a kind smile on her features, “Do you mind waiting for Light? I’m just going to take Sayu home; I don’t want him walking home alone.”

You let go of the door and gave her a nod, “No, of course.”

She squeezed your shoulder and thanked you, before she left with Sayu in tow, waving a small goodbye. When they were out of sight you turned back to talk to Ryuga, to at least ask why he was there, but from the soft click of the door and the vague glance from your preferential vision, you saw that he had entered the room Soichiro Yagami was in. Why? Light’s father had said he just wanted a word with his son alone. Why did Ryuga - you shook your head, if he wasn’t wanted there he would be told to leave. You waited for a moment, expecting for Ryuga to let himself out. Nothing. You raised an eyebrow, your hand hovered over the doorknob, you wanted to open it, you wanted to - but you couldn’t. You sighed and pulled out your phone as you made your way to sit outside, fresh air would hopefully clear your head. Light needed to be with his dad, he didn’t need you bursting in asking why this stranger was there, he just needed a moment with his dad, and if he wanted Ryuga there - and not you . . . that was his choice. You shook your head slightly, you were being a bit obsessive, it was inappropriate. He didn’t need it. You looked down at your phone and opened your old texts.

MATSU

Is Mr Yagami okay?

Well, you had your answer now. Your heart sunk to your stomach when you noticed the draft text that you had never sent to him.

Are you okay?

You weren’t originally going to send it. You didn’t want to pester, but after the incident with Soichiro. You closed your eyes and sent it. You didn’t know what you were expecting, there was no way that he would message you back straight away, chances are his phone was off. At least that was what you would have liked to believe. 

You slumped down on the bus bench outside of the hospital it was all too much. You wanted nothing more than to just crawl into bed and disappear, to just be swallowed up by the empty air. You wished you had brought a jacket, the more the sun had started to set the more the cold night air started to get to you. You rubbed your arms in a poor attempt at self-soothing. You almost scolded yourself for not getting Sato’s number before you got out of her car so you could call her and thank her for driving you, but you had been so panicked you just wanted to get out, you had practically jumped out of the car as she was slowing down. You just hoped she didn’t see you as being rude. You made a mental note to thank her the moment you saw her again.

You had watched the sun set and the moon become clearer in the sky, if you strained your eyes enough you could spot a couple of stars (excluding the false alarms that were just planes). It had felt as though hours had passed but from your watch it had only been one. A sigh of relief escaped you when you saw Light and Ryuga leaving the hospital, a car parked out in front to pick the latter up. You glanced over at them, Light seemed heated – or was it more distress? You started to gather your things and made your way over, you couldn’t quite make out what they were talking about, and by the time you were within ear shot, Ryuga had noticed you.

“Oh (L/N) you’re here?” while the question implied shock, his tone as always was just flat. You didn’t think it would get to you so much, but the more that there was no variation in his tone, the more uncomfortable you felt.

You don’t know why you answered, it was as though you felt compelled to, that you had to justify yourself for waiting for you boyfriend, you shouldn’t have to, right? “Yeah I’m walking Light home.”

“How sweet,” he looked over at Light, “you two must care for each other a lot.”

Light didn’t respond, he had just said goodnight to Ryuga before he turned and told you to come along. You had just nodded a goodbye to Ryuga before you raced after Light who was walking faster than usual, you had almost tripped on a loose brick in the footpath in an attempt to keep up. He seemed to be in his own head, hand in his jacket pockets and eyes straight forward. You reached out and tugged his jacket, forcing him to stop. He looked back at you, a stone-cold expression on his face for a moment until he caught your eye, he softened ever so slightly when you spoke, “hey,” your hand squeezed his shoulder before it trailed to hold his hand inside is pocket.

Nothing was said between the two of you for the first few moments as you walked home, a silent agreement between the two of you to not take any trains. You weren’t sure what to say to him, what were you meant to say? All you knew was that it would probably be inappropriate to ask about Ryuga, it was probably the last thing he wanted to talk about, especially after seeing his father in hospital. Perhaps you didn’t need to think up anything specific to say, it didn’t need to be overcomplicated, you just wanted him to know you were there for him, and you were prepared to listen and that you wanted to listen.

“Are you okay?”

He squeezed your hand slightly, “Yeah, I’m fine, its just all a bit wild isn’t it?”

You nodded slightly, your eyes fixed to the path, “Yeah, he had me scared I won’t lie.”

“Thank you for waiting up for me.”

“Of course.”

***

The front lights were on when the two of you were home, door locked. The silence in the house was almost deafening, you had tried to take your shoes off as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake anyone up. You hadn’t realized how tired you were until you started to make your way up the stairs, you were keen to just lay in bed and sleep in. You didn’t have classes the next day, so it would be the perfect opportunity. You looked over at Light who had just started to take his jacket off and looked ready to just fall in bed, he noticed you standing by his room and started to make his way to his door, giving you a look of did-you-want-to-say-something?

“Do you need anything?” you asked him silently, barely above a whisper, you were half surprised that he could even hear you. His hand brushed against your wrist and tugged at you to come inside his room, “let me get changed okay?”

You closed the door behind you when you got into your room and emptied your bag on your bed, the moment you saw it, the journal you grabbed it flicking through the pages, a sick feeling overwhelmed you. You didn’t want to see it ever again, you didn’t want to think about Kira, you didn’t want to hear about him, write about him, you didn’t want it. You dropped it in the rubbish bin beside you desk. You had expected it to feel like a weight being lifted from your shoulders, as though you were free, as though the anxiety would soon fade. But it didn’t. You still felt gross. Almost sick to the core. What would they think of you becoming hyper fixated on this? Especially now that Soichiro had had a scare. It just felt wrong. You rummaged through the bin and placed the scrunched-up papers and food wrappers on top to keep it out of your sight. This was it; you weren’t doing this anymore. You just needed it gone.

You let out a shaky breath before you quickly got changed and returned to Lights room. He was already under the covers, his head buried in the pillow. You closed the door and blinds for him before you climbed into bed with him, you both laid there in silence for a moment.

“Is there anything I can do?” you hadn’t realised you had started to speak until you heard your weak voice.

He shook his head, “you don’t need to do anything.”

You pulled the covers under your chin and stared off into space for a moment, you didn’t know what to say, you weren’t even sure that he wanted to speak.

“Come here,” he brushed his thumb over your cheek, “I’m just glad you’re here.”

“Then I’ll stay,” you said softly, you pulled him into a hug and closed your eyes, soon falling into a deep sleep.

***

A soft buzz woke you up, your eyes squinted, trying to adapt to the pitch-black room. You glanced to where the sound had come from and rolled over to the bed side table, feeling around for your phone that you had placed there, the brightness had burned your eyes when you opened it, clearly displaying the time 00:13.

ONE (1) NEW MESSAGE

You cursed at yourself for not turning it off before you had gone to bed and looked over your shoulder to check if you had disturbed Light, his head was buried in his pillow, back towards you, still fast asleep and hadn’t seemed to notice anything. You sighed slightly and opened the message, your eyes adapting to deal with the bright screen.

MATSU

We should meet.

You stared down at the text for a moment. He wanted to meet, surely, he knew what happened to Soichiro, did he want to talk about that? Was he going to apologize for loss of contact? What was that supposed to mean, why couldn’t he say why he wanted to meet? You hadn’t realized that you had been biting the inside of your check until the taste of blood fell on your tongue. You stared at the message for what seemed like forever. Maybe he couldn’t be more detailed in his message because he was on the Kira investigation, or someone might have access to his phone, Matsuda was always more clear in his texts, if he wanted to talk he would tell you why, he wasn’t the type to leave things up in the air. Then again, maybe you were thinking too deep into it.

After everything that had happened . . . you wanted to talk with him,

But still . . .

Maybe it would be useless, but maybe it would help you get everything off your chest. Maybe.

How’s tomorrow sound? Lunch?

You could hear your heart beating in your ears while you waited for his response, he wasn’t going to leave you hanging again was he? Would you just not hear from him again? Was the message supposed to be for someone else and he had just sent it to you by mistake? You had considered turning off your phone before the soft vibration stopped you.

Sounds good. We’ll meet at 11, I’ll message you tomorrow.

You stared at the message. It sounded so detached to be something written by Matsu. Was he just tired? You didn't touch on it further once you heard a slight groan from from Light as he rolled over, you quickly turned your phone off and laid back down, his arm soon wrapping around you as he rolled over towards you.

***

Her long slender fingers twirled the pen in her hand, occasionally tapping it on the lined paged book in front of her. She held a cell phone in her other hand, her red painted lips smirking slightly as she listened to the person on the other side. Her eyes were fixed on the pages before her, finalized lyrics that she had written that day, beside it, loose sheets of music, scribbled notes and annotations plagued the pages. She crossed her legs as she leaned back in her desk chair, she was pleased somewhat that her home hadn’t changed since she had last left. Although the memories of the year prior were still etched into her brain, the home robbery gone wrong. She glanced to the pinboard near her desk, a newspaper clipping pinned front and center “Man Goes Free After False Allegations of Murder”, her gripped tightened around her pen, her jaw clenched slightly. She hadn’t returned to her family home since the home invasion. It ended up becoming a great excuse for her managers to plan an international tour, even when that was over she had planned to just stay in a motel (or even stay at one of her friends’ houses, although she didn’t want to risk the paparazzi invading their privacy) and have her things moved out - perhaps even just sell the house. But she didn’t have to anymore, not when Kira saved her by killing the man that took her parents. He had granted her her one wish, and that same power was used by a God of Death to save her once more, and now she had a Shinigami of her own. It truly was Justice.

Rem stared at the idol intently, she had tried to tell her that her plan was far too irrational, trying to plot all of this together at the last minute, all to just meet a human? Shouldn’t such a plan like this have more thinking time? More planning? Misa Amane was impulsive and didn’t wish to wait to get what she wanted. Much like the eye deal, the moment she found out that for trading half of the years she had left for the power to see the names of any face she saw, she demanded to have it, no thoughts of the consequences of such a deal. Rem had tried to explain that if Misa only had ten years left of her life span if she took the deal she would only have five, but she didn’t care. She still had that same spit fire while she was on the phone, a determination Rem had never seen in humans before, when Misa had called the television network she had refused to call back within their working hours, she had instead used her position to insist she speaks to the company head that moment, Rem was surprised more than anything that Misa had actually made it through that far, even though it was late into the night when most humans would be resting. When Misa would usually be resting.

She perked up slightly when she heard the voice on the other end of the phone, “Should be all good Misa-Misa, just send everything over and I’ll give it to our producers, we’ll make a slot for you on our program.”

She smiled brightly, her sweet sing-song voice entrancing him, “Awww Kiruma you’re the best!”

“No need to thank me, we’d be honoured to have you on especially to promote new music,” she could clearly hear the smile in his voice, that was an effect she had on people, no one could resist her charm, even the most serious of business meetings would turn into her ‘superiors’ being gushing messes, “it’ll be the best opening we’ve had in years.”

“Aww don’t go putting that kind of pressure on me, I hope I can get you guys the ratings you deserve,” she pouted, “I promise I’ll do my best!”

They exchanged their goodbyes and she quickly hung up. Smile on her face. She pulled the sheet music closer to her and put it in an envelope, “Told ya I could do it Rem.”

Chapter Text

You groaned slightly as you stretched out your arms. The thick smell of morning sweat embedded in the sheets. Your heavy lids parted only to sting when the morning light burned them, you rolled over to your side as you pulled the covers under your chin. Light was still fast asleep – which you couldn’t blame him for, if anything, he needed an extra sleep in – you smiled slightly as you watched him, his soft hair laid in his eyes as he slowly breathed in and out. You glanced down at your watch; your eyes squinted as you tried to make out the small roman numerals, nine in the morning. You stretched your legs before you rolled over, the shower was calling your name.

You carefully snuck out of bed, sure to not wake him up and held your breath as you gently closed his door. The first thing you had noticed once you had turned around was that the house was completely empty. You peaked your head around the corner of his mother’s room, her door was wide open, and her bed unmade. Your brow furrowed and you checked Sayu’s room after you had gently pushed her door open you had seen a perfectly made bed and a tidy room, truly a rare sight – she must have slept with her mother last night. You shrugged slightly and grabbed your things for your shower.

The hot water on your skin was welcomed. You could feel your muscles relax under its gentle touch, for the briefest of moments, all the events of the day before faded away; it was just another day, a day when Sayu would be at school, where Mr Yagami would be working late at the police station, where his wife would be at work or running errands, where you were getting ready for school. It was nice while it lasted. The frigid air that hit your skin was a harsh reminder of reality once you were out of the shower, the goosebumps travelled down your body as you wrapped your towel around yourself after you had rinsed your hair. You hummed to yourself as you made your way back to your room, you had been thankful that it was spring, the flowers were in bloom, and your lighter clothes had moved to the forefront of your wardrobe – your favourite black coat would be stashed away in the back of the wardrobe until the next chilly day came along, so long old friend.

You could pin-point the exact moment when your heart fell to the pit of your stomach. You had tied up the belt of your silk bathrobe and had been looking for a hair-tie. It was then that your heart turned to lead. There, on the centre of your desk, open, laid your notebook. There was no way, it could not be real. You wanted to pinch yourself, to wake up. You were sure you had thrown it out. No. Not just thrown it out. You had buried it at the bottom of your rubbish bin. You were sure. Hesitantly, your fingers brushed on the page as you read the page it was open on, the drops of water fell onto the pages, wrinkling it.

Kira is an egotistical child with a God complex that wants to spread his ‘message’ to the world, if anyone were to stand in his way, he would eliminate them, no matter if they were an innocent citizen or a criminal. He views himself above the law and everyone as a potential victim or follower that must sit and obey – this is not Justice. The more I find out about Kira, there is no doubt in my mind that he is dangerous and must be stopped at all costs.

This was not real. This couldn’t be real. You leaned against your desk, your eyes staying on the page, how was this on your desk, and why was it open on this page? Was this it, were you finally losing your mind, was it possible that you didn’t throw it away? That it was some type of trauma response? That you thought you had thrown it out but had just imagined it or –

You jumped when you felt warm arms snake around your waist and a groggy head bury itself in your neck, “Whatcha reading?”

You gasped and closed the book, “Shit! Light don’t scare me like that!”

“You snuck away,” he said simply, his breath was hot on your neck while he spoke, he took a nip at your earlobe, “you smell nice.”

“Yeah, I showered,” you smirked, you swiftly tucked your notebook away in your drawer as you turned to face him, “did I wake you?”

He shook his head, “No – well maybe the shower did it – but no.”

You chuckled slightly and leaned back on your desk, “well I’m so sorry prince charming.”

“I’ll let it slide,” he smirked, he leaned down closer to you, “but I would’ve liked to have said good morning.”

“Well, please, don’t let me stop you,” you smiled up at him, your eyes fluttered closed and he closed the gap between the two of you, his lips were soft at first, warm and inviting. His hands roamed down your sides. You felt hot under his touch, a small gasp had escaped you as he lifted you up to your desk, you adjusted yourself to be more comfortable as he buried his head in your neck.

His bites on your neck were so enticing, the way his hands delicately tugged at your robe, the little whisper on your skin “is this mine?” as he tugged on the belt of your robe. The way your breath had been caught in your throat when you responded.

“you a black silk kind of guy?”

He had just chuckled slightly on your skin as he pulled at your belt, undoing it, his hands trailing back down your sides, parting your legs as he stepped between them. You could feel the heat travel down your body, you knew where this would go, the only way it could go, but your head could not stop racing with a thousand thoughts a minute, no actual clear thread, or some beaming light of what it was that these thoughts truly connected to. More like you were a sailor caught up in a storm, with nothing but a rowboat with a singular paddle trying to face off the giant waves, a pit in your stomach. Why, why did it have to feel that way? You couldn’t place this sense of dread, the anxiety. You knew you liked the way his arms made you feel secure, you knew you liked the way his lips trailed along your neck as he whispered, sweet, sweet, nothings. Yet, why were you anxious, why did the room suddenly feel smaller, why did you feel so small, why did you feel as though you were fading out, and why did Light smell of mint?

Your eyes widened and you pushed him back, “Uh – sorry, I –” you got down from your desk and wrapped your robe around you as you tied your belt, a double knot, your heart was pounding in your ears, the room still felt as though it were caving in on you and you still felt small as though your body were on autopilot and you were just watching yourself from the outside, “I don’t want to be late; I have lunch with a friend.”

He was silent for a moment, and you couldn’t fully hear what he was saying to you. His hand squeezed your shoulder slightly and when you looked up at him you could only vaguely hear him asking if you were feeling all right. You had just smiled and nodded, a brief excuse of a headache and not feeling up to it. For a moment, his eyes reminded you of those eyes from that night, that stared down at you with no empathy or – anything for that matter, they were just dark orbs, and that smell – the mint; you brushed it off and tried your best to reassure him you just weren’t up for it. There wasn’t much fighting it. He was soon out of your room and you leaned against your door, hand over your chest as you tried to steady your breaths. Mint? There was no way you could smell it, right? Was this it? Smelling something that should not be there and not actually throwing away your notebook – your notebook. It was still in the drawer, where you had left it, it did not tease you again with maddening jests of laying on your desk open.

You sat down at your chair and slowly but surely, the room seemed to breathe and give you more space. You felt your soul return to your body and your heart had finally calmed down. You brushed through the pages; this was insanity.

You looked down at your phone when you heard a beep.

MATSU

Looking forward to seeing you.

Sorry it took so long.

A pause.

See you soon x

“I wanted to show you my poetry.”

He had been taken aback by how forward you were. At first it had been fine pleasantries, you had only been to happy when he outstretched his arms to you for a hug, to which you accepted and hugged him tightly. It was strange, you didn’t realise how much you needed that hug until you were in his arms, it was reassuring in some type of way. He was only too happy to reassure you that he didn’t mind how long you wanted to stay there like that. When you had both sat down across from each other you couldn’t help yourself and had blurted out that you needed to show him something, you rummaged through you bag as you handed him your notebook, a nervous look in your eyes, “Uh, sure, of course,” the look on your face told him to open it right then and he obliged, he wanted to move the topic to what he had been sent to do but he assumed it was the least he could do after being gone for so long.

His face instantly fell, his eyes widened when he opened it. He looked up at you, his mouth agape, and you kept a straight face, “I’m trying new techniques.”

Was she making sure no one could listen in?

“I don’t know if it’s worth much, but I thought maybe you’d like to see – to see if it’s worth sharing.”

You fiddled with the hem of your shirt, you had to show someone. You needed the reassurance that you weren’t insane. Of course, there was no way of knowing if Matsuda was working on the Kira case, but maybe he knew the right people and he could talk to them. Anything. The worst case: your ideas were outlandish, and you would finally be told that you needed to stop. You just wanted an answer.

Matsuda’s face stared down at the page, his hand trailed over your words, he struggled to keep a straight face. This . . . this was what L had hypothesized, and there was more? Predictions? And she had gone as far as to make sure no one would understand what they were talking about, as though this were nothing but a little poetry meeting? “You came up with all this?”

You hesitated for a moment, “Yes, it kind of came to me, but I don’t know if it’s good, you know? I might just be hyper-fixating or over-thinking it.”

He nodded slightly and pulled out his phone to take photos of the journal pages.  

“You can take it.”

“No, you keep it, keep working on it,” he said, there was a tone in his voice that hinted that he was being honest, “I’d like to see what you come up with next, this is really good. I’ll have to tell my friends about it, they’ll love it.” He played along, you had set up the perfect scene, two friends exchanging opinions on writing, he just needed to be sure he wouldn’t ruin it for you. He would have to repay you back in some way, he doubted coffee would cover it.

Wait what, did that mean he was actually going to show this to the police, “A-are you sure?”

He flicked through the pages and took more photos, “Yes of course! This is really well thought out.”

You leaned back in your seat. Your ideas. They were good? Enough so that he wanted to show someone else, you tilted your head as you stared at him, you hadn’t realised how worn down he seemed. His jacket seemed more loose on his body, had he lost weight? His eyes, while remaining bright when he spoke to you, seemed to have a new type of dullness to them. His hands were slightly shaking as he reached for his coffee while he read over your words, but it didn’t seem to be nerves. He sipped on it silently, his hair fell in his eyes, it was more unkept than what he would usually keep it. The more you took him in, the more that you thought that maybe he needed the hug more than you. Or maybe you both just needed it.

“Are you okay?” you asked, he had paused mid sip and swallowed hard, he adjusted himself in his seat and smiled awkwardly at you.

“Sorry, this was meant to be a meet up with you to see if you were okay and now, you’re worried about me,” he rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous laugh escaped him, “I’m sorry, please don’t worry about me – how are you? It must’ve been really hard to see the chief like that, I’m sorry I haven’t been keeping in contact, work is just – a lot, with all this stuff.”

You smiled weakly at him, the lines under his eyes were far more visible when he smiled at you, so he was on the Kira case. There was no way he would be this tied up if he were continuing with normal police work, then again, what even was “normal” police work at that point? A serial killer was out there taking justice in his own hands. You reached out for you cup, “It was, but I’m just glad he’s okay, I hope you’re all okay.”

He cleared his throat and took the final photos of your notebook that he would read later when he had more time, “The rest of the team is okay, I think this has just had it’s toll on the chief the most, I’m glad to hear he’s okay though.”

“And you?”

He never did answer that question. Matsuda seemed to have a gift for changing topics, and that he did. How had university been, had you made any friends, what courses were you looking forward to, were the Yagami’s okay? Were you okay? Yet when any of it had been spun back on him, he had swiftly avoided it, how he was fine, and simply happy he was able to help, never been better. Had it not been for him having his eyes closed for far too long at a time, or him fumbling with his words, or how loose his clothes hung on his body, perhaps you would have believed him. All you could really think to do was to hold him slightly tighter when you exchanged your goodbye hugs and made him promise to message you later – he had hesitated for a moment, but agreed. To your surprise he was honest, by the time you were home he had already sent you a message to ask if you had made it home safely, and if you needed anything. You had just assured him everything was fine, and he said he would be unavailable for a while due to work and catching up on reading your notes, he had thanked you once more before that was it.

You dropped your bag on your bed, as much as you wanted to follow suit and rest your eyes for a moment while you thought over Matsuda’s words – he had found your input useful, you were still taken aback from that, it was almost hard to believe that you could provide something of use to him and the police, but if that were the case – well then you were more than grateful to help. There was no time to think of that, you knew you had to talk to Light, and explain yourself from that morning. It was going to tie your stomach in knots and you weren’t going to like it, but it had to be done.

You gently knocked on your door and entered when you heard him say it was open. He was hunched over his desk reading – ever the dedicated honours student – he briefly glanced at you as you made your way in and sat on the edge of his bed, you swallowed your nerves down and took a small breath in, “I wanted to apologise.”

He paused for a moment and spun in his chair to face you; an eyebrow raised. There was a look on his face that said he didn’t know what it was you were apologising for, but there was no doubt he knew, the incident of the morning of you pushing him out and abruptly telling him to leave.

“I freaked out,” you said honestly, “I thought I was ready for that but, I’m not, and I panicked and told you to leave and I shouldn’t have done that, I should have been open and honest with you and just upfront with you.”

He was silent for a moment which had only made her feel more nervous with each silent passing second, “You don’t need to apologise.”

It was simple. Short. To the point – perhaps a little blunt – but, overall, comforting. You stared up at him for a moment, you had tried to form the right words together to try and express what was going on inside your head, “thank you.”

He adjusted himself in his seat slightly, spinning his chair slightly, “Is there anything I can do?”

You paused for a moment, was there anything he could do? It wasn’t as though he could read your mind when you were feeling overwhelmed – nor would you ever expect him to, and the tight feeling in your stomach refused to tell him why exactly you had your freak-out, which in hindsight, was very clearly a panic attack of sorts. You didn’t want to have to explain yourself every time, but you did want him to know when you were being pushed to the edge. You looked at his eyes, you had no clue how you could have seen that man’s eyes in the morning, they were just his, comforting, warm and attentive, they were Light Yagami’s eyes, not the eyes of him.

“Actually, maybe we could establish a word? For when I feel uncomfortable.”

Chapter Text

 “I’m glad he’s okay, you were white as a sheet.”

You were glad that Sato had been a relatively easy person to find, you had bumped into her after your morning class, she had been sitting outside one of the campus cafes reading over her notes. You had at first just wanted to quickly say hello and thank her for her help. However, she had seemed insistent that you sit with her if you had a free period, and for some reason, you couldn’t seem to say no to her. There was a warmth to Sato, the way she had pushed her books away form her and gave her undivided attention to you – even when she had been so focused, the knit in her brow from concentration was no more, and her soft, gentle features were beaming at you. She made you feel welcome, you wondered if she had this effect on everyone – especially strangers.

You glanced over at her books, the titles simply went over your head, you knew they were indeed words, but you were unable to comprehend them in your mind, Sato seemed to have caught your wandering eye and let out an exhausted laugh, “Finance, amirite?” she tucked her hair behind her ear, “but seriously, I’m glad everything’s okay, I can’t even imagine how scared I’d be.”

“Me too, it was honestly so unreal,” you admitted, your nails grazed along the hem of your shirt in a self-soothing method – you weren’t sure if it actually aided you in any way, yet there you were, doing it, “it’s scary that my first thought was that – well you know.”

She nodded, “I get you; I think it’s put everyone on edge – have your classes mentioned the counselling thing?”

You nodded; how could you forget? It seemed to be on everyone’s mind – how were people not meant to talk about what was no doubt going to be one of the greatest (negative) event in History? To ignore it would to be living in ignorance. To ignore it would be denying the shear gravity of the situation, students knew this, teachers knew this, “my crim professors have said to go see someone if it affects us mentally,”

The look your lecturer had given that morning was still etched in your mind, the way she licked her lips as she looked down at her notes before she faced the class, her cheeks flushed when she took a small breath in when she spoke, “Due current circumstances, we understand that the content that will be covered within this lecture may be distressing; students are free to remove themselves from the room at any time – as well as their classes without penalty,” she had looked back down at her notes, her teeth gently grazed her bottom lip as she went on, “To Oh wants our students to feel safe on campus, if for any reason the current situation we are in starts to have negative effects on your mental wellbeing we urge for you all to seek further help whether it is through our on campus counsellors or private health –” You could still hear the dead air that followed, the awkward silence as she stared up at the many faces in the room, some had left, the majority had stayed – a few would leave during the lecture and there was no judgement, there was just an awkward beat in the air, was this how it was going to be forever?

“It’s crazy,” she shook her head, “I can’t even imagine how it’s going to affect the future, not even just law wise, how it’ll affect everything.”

There was a comfort in being able to talk to Sato about the situation, you had never been brave enough to bring it up to Light – especially not after the scare with his father and you had prepared you keep your thoughts in your diary or to Matsuda – knowing that Sato was there, and was listening, made an anxiety that had been wrapping itself around your heart dangerously tight, loosen, only a fragment, but you could breathe, perhaps that was why you felt so compelled to keep talking, “Actually, my psychology professors mentioned that, for those of us who intend to become therapists, there’s a high chance we’ll be treating clients for trauma because of these events.”

“Jesus . . .” she sighed under her breath, her head sunk to her hand as her eyes started to daze off, distracted in thought, “it’s never going to be the same.”

You chuckled nervously not sure how to respond, had you made the air more tense? You were not able to get a grasp on Sato, her grey eyes shut off any form of emotion while she stared out, if eyes were the window to the soul then she had mastered home security to a level you weren’t sure you would ever achieve. You shuffled in your seat slightly, unsure how you were meant to fix the situation or save it.

As though she had read your mind, Sato immediately changed the subject, her smile had returned to her face when she looked back at you, a quizitive look on her features “That’s right, you’re in Doctor Mori’s class, right?” she raised her eyebrow, “my buddy was in her class a while ago, if you like I can hook you up, he still has his notes from first year.”

“W-wait are you sure he wouldn’t mind?” not that you didn’t want notes from someone who had already completed the class – especially if that someone was friends with an honour’s student like Sato, surely, he would have had to have had at least one braincell; but would someone like that appreciate their friend outing them for their notes to someone they hadn’t even met?

She picked up her phone and started to look through it, “Oh for sure I’ll just let him know, could I grab your number?”

“Yes of course,” you nodded and grabbed your phone, you soon heard the beep of Sato’s incoming text. 

[UNKNOWN] 

Hey ;) 

“Emiko has the characters for prosperous, beauty and child, Sato has the characters for assist and wisteria,” she smiled as you typed it into your contacts – ‘assist’ . . . how fitting, 

“There we go,” you smiled, “thank you so much!”

“No worries, and now that I have your number maybe you’ll have to come along to my little gatherings,” she winked.

Was this all a scheme to have you come to a club meeting? You couldn’t even be mad; it was a solid ploy, “I – I guess you’re right.”

She glanced down at her watch, her eyes widened for a moment before she muttered a ‘shit!’ under her breath as she picked up her things, “better not be late, it was great catching up, I’ll text you later!”

She hadn’t lied. Right on 7 PM – just when the free texting period had started, how considerate – your phone which had been set on the dining table buzzed and snapped you and Light out of your study session. Without much thought, you reached out for your phone and smiled down at the message.

Emiko Sato

Hey :P

So, my friend messaged me back and he said it’s all good, just sent your email and I’ll pass it on!

“Texting during study, are we?” Light mused, his eyes fixed on the page while you quickly messaged her back.

“I’ll have you know this is class related,” you smirked, you closed your phone and placed it in front of him and teased him, “my apologies sir.”

He rolled his eyes slightly, trying to hide the smile that quirked on his lips, “So who was it?”

“Oh, Sato,” you shrugged, “I met her at your little tennis match, drove me to the hospital, pretty chill – anyway, one of her friends was in my class and still has his notes so they’re getting passed on.”

“Well look at you Miss Popular.”

“I know right?” you joked before you looked back down at your notes, it seemed never ending, university had only just started and you already were in the midst of planning your essay topics for three of your classes – what a joke (although, what were you expecting after taking up a double degree?), “we actually had an interesting conversation today.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, about the whole Kira thing,” – whatever sign of disinterest Light had shown, his head buried to this work, had soon disappeared the moment those words left your lips, his head perked up and he stared intently at you, would this be it? Could this be the chance to have her open up about Kira? About her journal? – “about how different the world seems already.”

He paused for a moment, in hopes that you would go on to explain yourself to fill in the silence – to no avail – you just stared at your phone for a moment, your smile wavered, he decided to break the silence, “How’d it make you feel?”

You seemed distracted for a moment before you shook her head, “In what way?”

“Do you have concerns about Kira?” he asked as he gently placed down his pen, his eyes still fixed on you.

“I guess it’s weird, some god taking matters in its own hands. Kinda weird right?” she laughed slightly.

He knew you were lying; he had read the journal, he knew you suspected Kira was human, he knew you found it all more than ‘weird’. He couldn’t let you know that he read your journal, that would ruin everything, he needed to let it happen naturally, “It’s really scaring some people, some people in my class said they’re a bit on edge,” it was an attempt, maybe you too would admit that the situation was daunting.

To his detriment, you were unwilling to open. You had just nodded and mentioned how some students in your class had left the lecture (being sure to mention that you in fact had stayed). The closest he had been able to get to you admitting doubts was when you had talked about Sato’s reaction to it all. Were you projecting? “– guess we’re living through history, huh?”

“You know you can tell me anything right?”

“Yeah obviously,” you snorted slightly, the abruptness of his statement had caught you off guard – laughing seemed to be a defence mechanism, you pondered if there was a psychological reason why that was.

“I’m serious,” he assured, “it doesn’t matter how small it seems – or large,” he added when you looked back at your pages, your pen tapped against the textbook, “I’m all ears.”

You just nodded slightly, a mhmm was all that escaped your lips.

“(Y/N),” he reached out for your hand, your eyes had finally met his, “I mean it.”

Your eyes stared into his, warm, inviting, and oh-so tempting. The more he stared through you, the more you had just wanted to admit defeat, the more you wanted to just tell him how much it scared you, how you had been so scared that his father could have been a victim. You sight slightly, “Light, I –” before you could go on, your phone started to ring. Light had to fight the urge to roll his eyes the moment you looked away, your hand slipped from his grip as you grabbed your phone, “it’s Sato, I should grab this – hello? Hey! No, I have time, thanks so much for calling . . .”

Your voice had soon faded as you left the living area and walked up the stairs to your room, you had mouthed a ‘sorry’ to Light as you left. He pinched the bridge of his nose the moment he heard your door close, he was so close. Had it not been for the interruption she could’ve opened up, it could have led to her showing him her journal. His jaw clenched as he felt his teeth start to grind. He hadn’t even met this Sato but she was already proving to be a nuisance.

Chapter Text

The public had been all abuzz over the course of the week; especially Sayu. Rumours spread like wildfire all over the media after it was leaked that Misa Amane was releasing a new album and that (allegedly) her promotional material was going to involve Kira propaganda; so, obviously, the media went wild and ran with it. Sayu had been the most excited – although, she never brought up the rumours about how the idol was promoting her work – she had been listening to her old Misa CDs on her portable player, headphones in as she roamed around the house while she did extra chores to save up more pocket money for when the new album came out. It was endearing.

So, of course, when Sayu found out Misa Amane would be doing a live performance of one of her new songs as a sneak peek into her upcoming album, she had practically begged to be allowed to watch, even to make an event out of it. You had brought it up in passing to Sato expecting her to laugh along with you about Sayu’s antics, but as it turned out, Sato thought it was cute and had agreed to come over ‘I’m in desperate need of a break anyway!’ she had said. Who were you to complain? You were excited; Sato tended to be all over the place with her schedule, in recent days, she would call you during the free calls and text period while she was studying and catch up then – which had been mutually beneficial; Sato would feel more productive having someone else there with her while she studied, and you had a sounding board for your essays.

“I think you’ll like her,” you looked over at Light, his pen was between his lips as his eyes scanned the page before him, deep in focus. You should have been studying but you were too excited to see Sato, especially for Light to meet her, you didn’t need his approval, but it would be nice if your boyfriend got along with your new friends.

“Oh really?” he did not look up from his papers as he underlined a sentence.

“Yeah! Honour’s student, sporty, bit forward,” you joked, “she might be your clone ifyouweretobeafinancemajor.”

“A terrifying concept,” he noted, “well I trust your judgement, I’m sure she’ll be all right.”

You looked back down at your own work, you hadn’t touched it, you were meant to do a little bit of study with Light, but you had been distracted by talking about Sato. Light had side-eyed you a few times which had made you almost feel guilty. Almost. A warm hand on top of yours broke your thoughts and you looked up at Light, you raised an eyebrow slightly, “Hmm?”

“I mean it, I’m looking forward to it,” It was small, but it was reassuring, in his own kind of way, he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your cheek, “if you like her, I’m certain she’s amazing.”

His lips met yours, they were so warm and soft against you, it left you wanting more, “thank you.”

Sato had arrived not long after that, Sayu had yelled for the two of you to come downstairs when she had opened the door to see the older woman there, a soft smile on her face. When you had made your way down – Light had said that he would be down after he put his things away – Sato was already trapped in a conversation with Sayu who had wasted no time in interrogating her. You couldn’t help but notice she hadn’t worn her hair in her typical ponytail, her hair fell past her shoulders as she smiled down at Sayu answering all her questions, her red jacket folded neatly over her arm.

“Sato! Come in please,” you waved.

“Thanks for having me over, I think I’d go insane if I had to work on my paper anymore this week – also, Emiko,” she laughed slightly, although there was no hiding the exhaustion behind it as she leaned down to take her shoes off and place her bag down beside the lounge.

“Right, Emiko, sorry. Thank you for giving me an excuse to not do mine,” you laughed nervously, “well this is Sayu, although I think she’s already made quite the impression.”

Sayu just waved with a proud smile on her features, “I was only asking the important questions, which by the way you never answered, which Misa-Misa era?”

There was a huge smile on Sato’s face as she looked down at her, “Hmm, I’d have to say her Eyes on Me era.”

“Ohhhh out of the box pick! I like her!” she beamed up at you.

“Glad I got your approval,” you joked, “Light is just upstairs.”

Sato giggled slightly as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “You know, if I hadn’t seen him at the tennis match, I might not have believed that he existed.”

You laughed nervously, she had a point, she had never actually met Light, always far too busy with his after school work and studies to ever talk to her, the closest Sato had been to meeting Light was when she had seen him in passing when he had said a quick goodbye to you before his class. You had also filled her in on your current situation and how it would be best to not let his family know that the two of you were dating, she had shockingly been very understanding about it and had agreed to play along, “He’s keen to see you! I’ve told him so much.”

“Oh dear, hopefully, all good things.”

Light’s voice cut in as he descended from the stairs, “I don’t think she’s capable of saying a bad thing about you, trust me I tried,” there was a chuckle in his tone as he finished his sentence, an attempt to fit with the light mood as he made his way next to you, he extended his hand out to her, “a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“Light Yagami,” she gave a thin smile as she eyed him up and down, “I’ve heard so much about you. Your speech at the opening ceremony was impressive, although not as impressive as that little tennis match you had, nice to finally meet you.”

She had a firm handshake, which he thought seemed to match her personality, at least what he had heard about it. An assertive honours student who has created the reputation of being one of To-Oh’s best and brightest, he wouldn’t lie, he had performed some minimal research on her. She has been the captain of the swim team since her first year, and apparently, she had actually been quite exceptional, at least the numerous photos of her smiling face with her trophies in the paper said so; he also found that in past years had been a mentor for new students, particularly previous honour students (how unfortunate he would not be able to be taken under her wing, not). His eyes had narrowed ever so slightly for a moment after she had looked over at you, a bright smile on her features as she spoke to you about something he hadn’t paid any attention to.

“So, Emiko –” he stopped when he saw her tilt her head slightly, “my apologies, Sato (he continued when she gave him a slight nod), I heard you’re in the lines for an internship soon, that’s impressive.”

She nodded, “Thanks, I heard that you were one of the top honour students last year, that’s quite the achievement, I’m sure we can expect wonderful things from you at To-Oh.”

Everything had seemed to cool down after that, Light was sure to keep up pleasantries, it would be best to at least attempt to get along with (Y/N)’s friends. Even if he would rather do anything else, having to deal with other people, new people, was the last thing he needed. Another mask to put on, a part of him hoped that Sato wouldn’t be a recurring issue, he didn’t want more people involved in his personal life, which would only cause more issues in the future. Another person he would have to keep in check? He’d rather trade his years. For now, he just had to sit and watch the Misa-Misa special, there was no way something like this could go wrong.

Although he couldn’t help but be enamoured by the Misa special, he usually had no care for the idol, he had found the bubbly act dull and not to his taste, but something was off. A song about a lover giving up half her years to be with her soul mate. Was he reading too much into it? He had to have been. Yet still, particular lines stood out.

My golden temple by the sea

You are my kamakura tree.

*          *          *

“Misa, how do you know Kira will see you, and even then, how can you be sure he’ll understand your message?” the death god stared at the blonde-haired woman as she sat at her vanity, cleaning her face from the heavy stage makeup.

“You worry too much Rem,” she waved off a small smile on her features, “I have faith in Kira. I have no doubt my song will be top of the charts and will play on every radio station, he won’t be able to avoid it even if he wanted to.”

“And the message?”

Misa giggled lightly and placed her makeup wipes in the bin, she stared at herself in the mirror for a moment, being sure that she had taken all the makeup off, she couldn’t go to bed without clean skin, her youth was important after all. She looked over her shoulder at the pale Shinigami, she resembled that of a ghost in the soft moonlight, a soft glow around her, Misa couldn’t help but think such a thing was breathtaking, a god of death, holding such mystical beauty, it was poetic was it not? “If he truly is Kira, he’ll know.”

Chapter Text

Your eyes snapped open as you gasped, alert yet still dazed from your broken slumber. You didn’t realise at first that your hand was over your heart. You sat up; your duvet pooled in your lap while you hunched over. It had felt so real, but you couldn’t recall a single thing from it, just that you were in danger. You glanced down at your hand, still firmly clutched against your chest, had it been a dream about Kira? A shudder travelled down your spine, you reached over to your bedside and turned the lamp on, revealing the books you had fallen asleep with on the empty side of your bed. Scribbled notes and crossed out lines, basically a typical cram session, nothing really stuck. You closed the books and moved them out of the way, being sure not to drop them on the floor loudly so you wouldn’t wake anyone up; underneath your thick textbook, your journal sat, a pen in the placement of a bookmark. You picked it up and held it close and rolled over to turn off your lamp. The cover of your journal felt cold against your skin, light goosebumps travelled along your arms. Duvet pulled back up to your chin, you drifted off, as cloudy dreams of warm embraces, cold eyes, and hands tangled in red ribbon took over your thoughts.

For the most part, your day had been uneventful. You had been a bit too antsy when you were in your room, you had thought a brisk walk to grab a coffee would be all you’d need to keep your mind at ease. You placed your money in the dish before you waited over in a free space. It had been a busy day out; but as the later hours dwelled, the hustle and bustle too calmed down. This café had been one of the few in the area that stayed open past five, which had of course made it one of your favourites. There were very few people inside, everyone had kept to themselves, for the most part, some had their eyes glued to the television, some news broadcast was on, subtitles on as the sound was far too low to actually hear. Your eyes fell on the stack of newspapers on the wooden bench for patrons to read, you reached out and started to flick through the pages.

            … an anonymous researcher has commented that, as of now, there are no discernible differences between heart attacks caused by natural circumstances or heart attacks caused by Kira, no follow up was received when they were asked for further comment. Citizens are advised to –

Your concentration broke when you heard your name being called out, you placed the paperback and grabbed it, you had said a quick thanks to the barista before you reached down into your pocket for your ringing phone.

“Sato?”

You hadn’t expected a call from her, she usually messaged after seven. It was a bit odd, but perhaps she just wanted to talk, you couldn’t imagine how stressful her new job was going to be. You answered the phone and held the phone to your ear, “Hey Sato, what’s up?”

She didn’t even try to correct you with her usual, Emiko sweetie, her voice was rushed and panicked, “Are you watching the news?”

“What? No, I’m in town I –” you turned your head to look up at the television and it was then you noticed how everyone in the café suddenly panicked, shouting to have the volume turned up. You heard a patron shout to change the channel, which the barista did in a panic when she got her hands on a remote, she changed the channel and there you saw it. A dead body. An anchor on a news channel, Kazuhiko Hibima? You couldn’t hide the gasp that escaped you.  

“Oh my god.”

The barista changed it back and on the screen, in a gothic typeface, the name “KIRA” was displayed. An edited voice, much like L’s when he was on television, spoke. It couldn’t be, could it? There was no way. Kira was making demands, that the police work with him, and provide him with information on criminals. This wasn’t happening, it couldn’t be. Your heartbeat echoed in your eyes and had almost drowned out everything else in the café. Your breathing had picked up as you felt everything close in around you, your grip on your coffee tightened as your hand trembled.

“(Y/N)? (Y/N), are you still there?”

Her voice brought you back to earth, you took a deep breath in and nodded sightly, you hadn’t even noticed how much time had passed, “Yeah, I’m here, sorry I just.”

“Don’t apologise,” she assured, while she sounded so composed there was no hiding that she too was on edge, “are you somewhere safe? Do you need a lift?”

“I’m inside a café, it’s not far from home, I should be oka–” you didn’t even get to finish your sentence when you looked back up at the screen when a patron yelled to see what was wrong. The outside of Sakura TV was on screen, and in front of the doors, a body of a police officer laid on the ground. Dead. Your coffee fell from your hand, it poured down your shirt, you didn’t even feel it at first, far too much in shock. Kira … it had to have been Kira, how? How did he kill him? This man. A police officer. Your eyes burned as you stared up at the screen. How could this happen?

“(Y/N) are you okay?!”

“He’s – he’s dead, he killed him, Kira …” you could barely even get the words out. The very thought made you sick to your core. If Kira could kill that officer, did that mean the others were at risk? Soichiro? Matsu?

“Can you stay where you are? I don’t know if it’s safe to go out. Breathe (Y/N), just breathe.”

Sato had you take breaths with her on the phone, if you didn’t think about it too much, it was like she was right there with you, her hand on your back and she helped you, her voice keeping you on the ground, reassuring you that the walls were not closing in, that the weight of it all was not crushing your chest making it impossible to breathe, that the world around you was not blacking out, that the aroma of mint was not in the room. It was going to be okay.

“What café are you at? Okay, look stay right there and I’ll come get you, okay? Don’t go anywhere.”

It was all a blur. You couldn’t recall when you had hung up the phone, but you remember your eyes being fixed to the television screen, you saw a car crash into a building, how the police created a wall out of tinted riot gear around the entrance so no one could see the people within. You thought rushed through your mind for just a moment that perhaps your original theory of Kira needing a name and a face was wrong. Perhaps it was only a face, after all, if that’s the case … anyone who gets in his way, are all going to die. Your hand gripped the strap of your bag tightly, the thoughts of your journal lingered in your mind.

Sato had given you a ride home. It was later than she would have liked, the streets had become busy with rushing cars all trying to get home; the café had been nice enough to let customers stay inside until they had a ride home. She had checked what could have been hundreds of times if you were sure if you wanted to go home, that her doors were open to you if need be. She understood though, that what you wanted more than anything was to be back in your own bed. By the time she had parked outside the Yagami home, she reassured you to message if you needed anything. You were sure to thank her and asked her to text you when she got home so you knew she was safe. Sure, it was unlikely something would happen, but it was better safe than sorry.

Your hands had steadied by the time you unlocked the front door, your shoes soon off next to the entrance; you doubled, no tripled checked the door was locked before you made your way up the stairs. The soft gold light leaked out of Sayu’s door, you gently knocked as you quietly called her name, the door pushed open easily only to reveal that there was no one inside. You raised an eyebrow slightly as you looked around the room, still a mess and bed unmade.

“She went to bed with mum,” a voice from behind startled you. Light was leaned against his door frame as he watched you slightly hunched over at his younger sister’s doorway.

Of course, it made sense, there was no doubt she would have seen what was on TV, everyone had. You turned off her light yet still lingered by her entryway, “Ah, yes of course, can’t blame the poor dear.”

“You all right? You were out for a while.”

You had tried to be as composed as you could when you closed her door, “Yeah I’m good,” you nodded slightly when you finally turned around and made your way over to him, you ran a hand through your hair in an attempt to soothe yourself, “are you?”

“Your shirt,” his eyes wandered down, the dark coffee stain clear as day, his hand hesitantly reached out to the hem of your top, “you should get changed.”

You glanced down, you hadn’t even looked at it since you were at the café, you fumbled over your words, unable to get a full sentence out, “Oh my coffee … I got – it got – when I saw what happened.”

“It’s okay,” he cooed, “I understand.”

You just nodded slightly, he lightly brushed your cheek with the back of his fingers, small goosebumps trailed down your arms. You reached out for his hand and held it, your lips brushed over his knuckles for a moment, “It’s just – I – I’m glad to be home.”

He looked down at you for a moment before he slipped his hand out of your and rested it on top of your head, the hand that had been on the hem of your shirt snaked around your waist as he held you close, “I’m not going anywhere.”

His arms fit so perfectly around you, your head fit so perfectly in his chest, and when his warm hand cupped your cheek to have you look up at him, it only felt more perfect. You wanted to stay there forever.

“I promise.”

Your arm wrapped around his neck, and you brought him closer, his lips to yours. It was slow at first, his lips were soft against yours, his hands were gentle, unsure what to do at first, trying to gauge what you were comfortable with. He only gained more confidence when you pulled him closer, his hands becoming firmer. His bodyweight pressed you against your door frame and a small sound escaped you as you arched your back in response; his knee parted your legs slightly to get closer to you. It had taken him by surprise when you bit his lower lip, his fingernails digging into the cloth of your pants. As his tongue roamed your mouth dominating you, you adjusted your leg to brush against him in an attempt to gain some sort of control back, a hot breath escaped him sending tingles down your neck. He swallowed as his head rested on your shoulder.

“You sure?”

You had answered his breathy question by kissing his temple, you slightly tugged at his hair as your other hand slipped under his shirt.

“Ah – ah – ah,” he tutted, guiding you in his room enough to close his door, “there we are.”

He pushed you against the door, his mouth trailed hot kisses down your neck, you leaned your head back, giving him more access. Your hands fumbled with his buttons, trying to undo them, although you couldn’t seem to concentrate, only managing to get the top few undone. He chuckled slightly at your attempt and took your top off with ease his eyes lingered over you for a moment, the familiar look in them once more, lust. His fingertips brushed gently over the skin that had been burned from your coffee, it wasn’t anything serious it would heal in a few days; however, his warm hands on it caused the slightly raised skin to sting, “Poor princess,” he mused, soft lips grazed along the burn. A hiss escaped your clenched teeth, it felt too hot, his touch felt like fire against you.

He murmured something you couldn’t quite hear, your mind just wandered off with a thousand different thoughts. Your nails dug into his shoulders in an attempt to try and ignore the burning pain of his hot breath on your chest, your eyes winced shut. His lips lingered over your chest for a moment before he trailed back up to your ear, “On the bed.”

You nodded slightly and obeyed, he trailed just behind you and was on top of you the moment you laid on your back. He hooked his up under you and adjusted you into a better spot. His hand trailed up your back to unclasp your bra, you let out a sigh of relief, you hadn’t realised how much it had been irritating you until it was off, he placed small kisses along the indents your bra had left behind on your skin, a small gasp escaped you every time he brushed along the burned area. Your back arched underneath him, a mix between a whine and a gasp of pain left your lips. He took it as a sign to return his attention back to your lips. While his hands roamed your body once more your hands returned to unbuttoning his shirt, “Off,” was all you managed to get out which he had apparently found amusing, but he abided, nonetheless.

Your hands roamed around his body until they found their place on his back as he started to grind his hips against yours. A shaky breath escaped you, his hands felt so strong against you, the tight grip on your hip, the way he tugged at your hair, his weight on top of you. It was different from the weight you felt in the café, this was comforting, you felt safe in his arms, that nothing could go wrong as long as he had his grip on you. You were safe, you were home.

Your nails dug into his back that would surely leave marks in the morning. He wasn’t even inside you, but you could feel your heartbeat against him, the sensation of him twitching against you. You tucked your head in his shoulder as heavy breaths escaped you, “Please,” you begged softly, “I need it.”

He seemed to like that response, a small kiss placed on your temple, neck, chest, further and further down until he reached the waistband of your pants. He worked them off along with his own, you took a moment of your eyes adjusting on the dark to admire him, his hair was completely dishevelled, and even in the darkness, you could make out his toned stomach. Your cheeks heated when you could make out the condom packet he held between his teeth. You couldn’t help but wonder, just for a moment, how you would have pulled someone like him, it had almost felt like a dream.

“Staring is rude you know,” he winked when he noticed from the corner of his eye, he chuckled slightly as he hovered over you once more, “lucky I don’t mind being looked at by pretty girls.” Your face had to have been bright red, you looked away and he laughed again, he trailed more kisses down your neck (“Aww is someone flustered?”).

He hooked a finger under your chin to turn your face towards you, “Now we need to be sure to be quiet princess,” he mused lowly in your ear, “do you think you can do that for me?”

You nodded slightly; a soft noise of confirmation escaped you before you heard a wrapper, his hot breath in your ear, “Although don’t get me wrong, I’d love to hear you scream.” Your face had only turned a deeper shade of red. Your teeth bit into your lip and your head lulled back as you felt his tip rub along your slit (“you’re so wet.”). Your legs naturally parted to give him more room, he buried his head in your neck as he filled you inch by inch, letting you adjust around him. Your eyes were shut tight as your nails dug into his back as you tried to not make a sound, only hot breaths escaped your parted lips. Even then, you could feel his smirk against your skin as he murmured: “good girl” in your ear.

Your hand flew up to your mouth when he finally started to thrust into you, hard, filling you completely. You felt your eyes start to water as the pain turned into pleasure, your stomach forming a tight knot, he continued to give you sweet little affirmations as he started to roll his hips against yours as you writhed under him. Your insides were boiling, twisting, and bunching up. You could feel the electricity building up in your body, trailing all the way to your fingertips. As he picked up the pace the tightness in your stomach felt as though it was about to snap, your entire body felt hot.

“Light I –”

You weren’t able to finish, your hips buckled as you tightened around him, a broken groan escaped him as he spoke to you, his hand slipped between your legs, his fingers circling your clit, “Cum for me, princess.” It was when you felt his cock throb deep inside you, grinding against your g-spot that you felt your walls clench around him, the tight knot that had been building up inside you finally snapping. Your teeth had sunk into your hands as your eyes rolled back. Your entire body reacted, your back arching one last time before you sank into the mattress. You hadn’t realised how much Light had been trying to not put his entire body weight on you until his body shuddered and collapsed against you. He breathed heavily on your neck, his chest rising and falling, “Fuck.”

You pressed a kiss to his temple, a hand ran through his hair, a line of sweat between the both of you. He stayed like that for only a moment before he placed a kiss on your collarbone, “You did such a good job, princess.”

You writhed slightly as he carefully pulled out of you. A kiss to your forehead before he got up from the bed. A long sigh left your body as you stretched taking a moment to come back to Earth. Your eyes trailed his movements around his room, his boxers were already back on which you followed suit as you started to work your way under the blankets, you heard him ask if you wanted a shirt to wear to bed and you had hummed a yes in response. He had soon returned to the bed shirt in hand, his eyes lingered on every curve as you slipped it on, “I didn’t hurt you too much did I? With that little mishap there,” he gestured to your chest.

You shook your head as you laid back down on your side, curled up next to him, “No it was fine.”

“Good,” he adjusted himself slightly on his back, your head on his shoulder. Your nails drew soft patterns on his chest as your eyes started to feel heavier and you drifted off.

Chapter Text

hey besties !

so my laptop has malfunctioned and i’m working on getting a new one (the day before university starts :))) yay me), so i will not have a laptop for around the next two weeks.

i’m so sorry for the inconvenience and i hope you guys will understand why updates might take a while. 

i’ll find a way to make it up to you all ! if you like you can leave suggestions in the comments x

sorry again :( 

stay safe and wear a mask x 

Chapter Text

The sting of the morning light on his eyes was evidence that he had forgotten to close his blinds the night before. He opened his eyes and squinted from the golden glow as his vision adjusted around the room. He glanced to his side and saw her there, curled up in a ball facing the wall, still deep in sleep. He rolled his shoulders back, the bones in his body gave a satisfying crack as he propped himself up on his elbows. He was about to sit up and stretch, when from the corner of his eye, he noticed (Y/N)’s bag near his door, on its side open. His eyes fixated on that point and his heart stopped in his chest for a moment. From the low glow of the morning light, he could make out in the open bag her journal. It was so close, if he could just get up without waking her, he could grab it, just a quick glance to see if she had made any updates.

No, that was far too risky. However, what if he got up and grabbed it, then if she woke up he could ask her about it. His past attempts to have her open up about it had been futile. The most recent had been the fault of Emiko Sato. Damn that woman. She had become more of a nuisance than what he needed, the way she just – no, he didn’t have time to think about her, he needed to focus on the task at hand. Perhaps the only way to get (Y/N) to talk about it would be for him to ‘accidentally’ find it. That could be it. He could make the excuse that he was cleaning while she slept and that when he went to return her bag to her room that it had fallen out, conveniently on an open page regarding her notes about the Kira murders. Through that, he could express his concern, he could continue his role as the dutiful boyfriend, concerned about his girlfriend’s mental well-being. He just needed to get it before she woke up, he had no doubt in his mind that if he woke her up in the process that she would scramble and tell him to not grab her bag, and he knew it wouldn’t be the ‘appropriate’ move to go against her and read it in front of her, that would no doubt start a fight, and most definitely break her trust in him.

There was no use in staying in bed to think about it, he had to get up and actually grab it, the longer he waited the more likely it was for her to wake up and ruin the entire thing. He let out a sigh and had reached out to pull the covers off before he froze. (Y/N) had rolled over, her arm wrapped around his middle, her head buried in his side. What was he supposed to do? If only he could have Ryuk do this for him, but the damn Shinigami was nowhere to be seen; otherwise he could have just asked him to steal it, it wouldn’t be too farfetched to have her believe she had lost it somewhere, hell, as if she would confide in him that it was missing; all he would have to do after that is ‘find’ it, all it would take is an apology about reading parts of it, at worst she would be mad for a moment but then she would eventually confide in him. Yet, of course, as though trying to annoy him on purpose, Ryuk was gone. How useless.

Dammit. He soon laid back down after a small attempt to get out of her arms, only for her to squirm slightly, he could sense she would wake up soon. His eyes were fixed to the ceiling, what a waste. If he had only woke up a few minutes earlier, he checked his watch 7:48 AM, after the night he had he would have preferred a longer sleep in if he were to be honest. He felt (Y/N) move around and had all of the sudden become overwhelmed with the feeling that he was being watched, he chuckled slightly, “Do you need to stare?” a small smirk on his lips as he turned his head to her, red already filled her cheeks.

She buried her head in the blankets, “Ugh how do you do that?!”

He shrugged slightly, “It’s a hunch.”

“Some god-like senses,” she laughed slightly as she sat up, “or maybe just creepy.”

“Oh, I’m the creep? Who was caught staring just now?”

She waved him off, “You’re the creep, don’t ask me to explain your weird ways,” she leaned over the bed, and rummaged through the pockets of her pants pulling out her phone, “damn it’s still early.”

“I’m surprised you’re awake at all, you seemed a bit worn down.”

She blushed sightly and hit his leg, “shut it,” she went through her messages.

“Anything interesting?”

“Just a text from Sato letting me know she got home safe,” she shrugged, texting away.

He stared at her while she was hunched over, he could hear her clicking away on her phone, “Did you talk to her about the news?”

“She called me,” she said simply, “she picked me up and dropped me here.”

That was a detail he didn’t know about. He had assumed that she had walked home by herself, it seems as though Emiko once again found a way to squeeze herself into the narrative once more, “How kind.”

“She’s invited me out for breakfast, do you want to come? She said you could tag along if you’re free,” she looked over her shoulder to lock eyes with him.

He would rather drop dead, “Of course.”

She smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips before she got up from the bed, “Great! I’ll just shower,” she gathered her things and he watched with bated breath as she made her way to the door, his stomach in a knot in hopes that she would forget her bag.

“Oh, there you are.”

Great.

“Won’t be long!” she smiled before closing the door, the sound of the shower following not long after.

He grabbed a pillow and slammed it in his face, muffling a frustrated groan. He was no closer, and to top it all off, now he had to put on the niceties of wearing the mask of the charming honours student to Sato, he figured he didn’t leave the best impression on her; it probably didn’t help that he mad misspoke about her position at the Yotsuba, he had called it an internship, when in actuality she was preparing for full-time work there, then again, there was no way she expected him to know all the details, that would be creepy, right? He had gone out of his way to try and get more information on her through (Y/N), likes and dislikes, he just preferred to be on her good side.

“Hyeh, hyeh, looks like someone’s a little frustrated.”

That was the final straw. He threw the pillow at the Shinigami as she shot up. Ryuk flinched as the pillow went straight through him and hit the wall. He truly didn't know why the Death God went out of his way to try to dodge the pillow, or any object for that matter when they didn't have an effect on him. Was he just a coward?

“Hey! That wasn’t very nice!”

He rolled his eyes, of course, he had to show up after he needed him. He got out of bed and looked through his wardrobe, he may as well attempt to look nice.

Chapter Text

It had been a last-ditch effort on his part, a way to knock two birds with one stone as the saying goes. The second Kira had made things only the more difficult as of late. His little ‘field trip’ that L had set him on in the city had proved fruitless, he could not find any sign of the second Kira, although, he was unsure what exactly it was he was meant to be looking for. How would he know when he saw the imposter? He wasn’t exactly sure. To be honest, there was a part of him that hoped the second Kira would make it obvious, but he wasn’t sure where to start. At least, that was what he had thought before he heard you blasting music in your room, the new Amane song. It seemed crazy. It was crazy. To follow a whacky lead from a song.

That was what had led him to the park in the city. There was something off about her song, a woman sacrificing half her life to be with a lover? It was a bit on the nose was it not? Also, not something so outlandish for an idol to go on about. Yet a lyric stood out to him ‘my golden temple by the sea / you are my Kamakura tree’. There was only one spot near him that made him think that perhaps, there was a chance those lyrics were a clue, there was a park in the city with a tea house named the Golden Temple, it was situated near the lake in the park which often made it the perfect date spot for many, most notably, within the centre of the park was the ginkgo tree, there was also a large ginkgo tree in Kamakura at the Shinto shrine, was that what she was referencing? He had brought you there many times for studying, the park always had a gentle feeling to it, which had always made it easier to unwind. It was a ludicrous conclusion to come to, that somehow, idol Misa-Misa somehow knew something about the Shinigami eye deal, or that someone who writes her songs somehow has access to her. There was no actual way that was possible. Like he said, it was a last-ditch effort, call it desperation. If it all turned out that he was overanalysing, he would explain it off as a date. No lost time.

You had been none the wiser to any ulterior motives for the visit to the park. You had been excited to join, the longer you had spent at your desk writing papers, the more you had grown antsy. So, the moment he had offered for the two of you to walk in the park you had jumped at the opportunity. The warmth of the sun kissed your skin was a welcomed feeling, and you had only been more pleased that it was a moment that you would be able to share with him. University had taken a toll on the both of you. Light would be out for late hours of the night, study groups with friends that he had managed to make so quickly – which was no surprise to you, he has always been the type to adapt and shine in comparison to others. That wasn’t to say it’s toll hadn’t also had an effect on you. You had found herself in a constant flow of either writing papers, handing them in, then writing the next paper. There had hardly been a chance for a break, but you were never one to reject an offer from Light. You couldn’t help but think that even if he had asked you to come along when you were in way over your head that you would not find the power within you to reject his offer. You could almost feel the roll of Sato’s eyes as you thought about it. No doubt she would say that you shouldn’t put your academic career on hold just for him, but it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t so much that you were putting it on hold, more so that you didn’t wish to lose a moment. University, while important, was not forever, while that wasn’t to say Light was her forever, it is important to not push what you care about away for your own end goal means. Although perhaps those were the thoughts of a lovesick puppy.

Well, if ‘lovesick puppy’ meant you got to feel at peace for the first time in a while after all the stress of university by simply being able to spend time with him, then you would happily take the title with pride. You weren’t sure if he felt the same about that, although, he did invite you with him, so it wouldn’t be such a crazy thought that he wanted you there and that you provided some sort of comfort.

You had been so preoccupied in your thoughts that you hadn’t even heard the question he asked, it wasn’t until he had tapped you slightly and gave you an expecting look, “your coffee?”

“Oh!” you gathered yourself and flashed a smile, “yes it’s great.”

He would never bring up school or studying when it was just the two of you, it was a silent agreement that the two of you had made, and Light seemed to have a knack for keeping a conversation going. Although, you could listen to him talk utter nonsense and be enamoured by him.

“Have you heard from your mum?”

The question had taken you out of the blue almost, as your eyes widened for a moment before you shook your head slightly, “Uh, no actually, she hasn’t messaged me.” Not since when the two of you had lunch. Come to think of it, that was a while ago, and she tended to always message at least once every fortnight, you hadn’t even noticed her lack of contact.

“Shame,” he mused, a small smirk on his features as his eyes scanned the park, he caught your puzzled look out of the corner of his eye line, he turned his head to look down at you, a sweet smile, “I’ve been prepared for our lunch together.”

You cringed at the thought, the last lunch date with your parents had turned out to be a nightmare, you couldn’t imagine what a second round would be like if he was there too. Although, if he did attend as your boyfriend, there was a chance that maybe you would enjoy it, maybe he would enjoy it. Although, knowing your parents what a ‘meet-the-parents' experience would usually would turn into an ‘oh-but-he-could-do-so-much-better experience –  

You had been so lost in thought that you hadn’t noticed the woman in front of you, if you had, you wouldn’t have walked right into her, both of your coffees spiling, mostly on you. She had gasped dropping her things as she profusely apologised, she grabbed tissues from her pocket and had started to try and dry you off, “Oh my god I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to!” she panicked.

“No, it’s my fault I should have been looking where I was going!” You hadn’t even had the chance to notice the woman in her panicked state, all you could pay attention to was her vibrant blonde hair, a rare sight. It was only when she looked up at you to double-check you were okay that your hand and flew to your mouth, was she –

“Misa Misa?!” you blurted out, rather dumbly.

You weren’t sure if you were just too dazed, but you could have sworn that the woman was Misa Amane, but there was no way, what would a pop idol be doing here. Yet the woman didn’t look at you in confusion, instead, she just smiled awkwardly, “This is so embarrassing I’m so sorry!”

It was her! You were unable to form any words, you had just stared at her in shock, your nerves getting the best of you as she bit her knuckle while she looked at the spilt drink on your shirt, the stain still prevalent after her attempts at cleaning it, “uh –”

“Please let me make it up to you! I’ll gladly get you a new top!”

“Oh no –”  

She wouldn’t let you continue, “It’s the least I can do!”

“No seriously, it’s okay, it was an accident – sorry I’m just still in shock, you’re –”

“Oh, my gosh how super rude of me!” she apologised a nervous laugh escaped her, “yes I’m Misa Amane, I’m so sorry this is how you have to meet me, I swear I’m usually more put together.”         

“I’m a huge fan,” you said without thinking.

That had only seemed to cheer her up as she smiled brightly, “Really? Aww I always love meeting my fans! I’m so sorry this is how we had to meet though – oh thank you!” she smiled at Light who had passed her the bag and book that she dropped in the collision.

You had to admit, even Light looked a bit taken aback, huh, even he can get nervous in front of celebrities. You knew he never cared for Amane’s music but meeting an idol in the flesh has a different impact than just listening to their music in passing.

“Look I still feel super bad about your top and I’d really like to make it up to you, I simply cannot take no for an answer!” she pouted, her energy was a lot for you to take in, you weren’t sure what you imagined her to be like in person, you had always assumed that she had put on a persona for the cameras, as most celebrities did, but wouldn’t it be tiring for her to keep up this positive attitude now? She could wave this off and give you an autograph and let bygones be bygones if she truly didn’t care. Of course, there certainly was the chance that she just didn’t want to leave a negative impression on a fan, either way, you weren’t sure you could refuse her.

“Uh sure! Only if you want to, please don’t feel pressured to do so!”

She waved you off with a smile, “We can make it a shopping date! I’ve actually been away from Japan for a long time, so it’d be nice to shop around, it’s crazy how much can change in a year; I hardly know my way around anymore.”

You looked over at Light who had just given you a shrug, he seemed out of his element almost, but the look in his eyes told you that you should accept her offer, “That sounds great.”

“Let’s exchange numbers,” she clapped her hands together a bright smile on her features before she rummaged through her bag, “let me just find my personal phone.” She had wasted no time in texting you and Light once the two of you had given her your numbers.

UNKNOWN

text me anytime <33

“Also, here’s my jacket; it should help cover up the coffee stain, and this means you have to see me again, no backing out now! Oh, shoot, I have to go, we’ll meet up soon ‘kay?”

You were still so stunned, you weren’t sure how you had managed to (for the most part) keep your cool, “Yeah, I’ll text you.”

“See you soon,” she waved before she rushed off, pulling a different phone from her bag started dialling.

Just as suddenly as she had appeared, she was gone, and you were left there stood in the middle of the park, her oversized jacket folded over your arms and the promise of a shopping date with an idol. Your mind was a blur, even when Light had pressed his hand to your back to gesture for the two of you to walk on. He had chuckled at the absurdity of it, (“What are the chances?”). You had laughed slightly in agreement unable to believe what had happened, your body on autopilot as he led you to a café for a replacement drink. There was only one real thought that roamed through your mind.

What the hell just happened?

Chapter Text

The condensation of the glass created a ring of water on the glass table, Rin had nearly cursed herself for not taking a napkin from her office before she came to the meeting, or that she should have just stuck with her usual black coffee over ice water. She was sure to roll her sleeves past her elbows to avoid the cuffs of her sleeves getting wet. She had been one of the first ready for the meeting that day, anything to get off the ground floor, she had hoped that the conference room would’ve been empty so that she would at least be able to rest her eyes for a moment before anyone else came in, yet to her dismay, one of the other researchers was already in, coffee in hand and stack of papers in front of him. A few minutes rest was too much to ask apparently. Nothing had changed since the first wave of fear in the public, especially after what had happened at Sakura TV. Just as they had before, patients flooded to their nearest hospital at the slightest pain in their chest. Fearing that they were a victim and that somehow, the nurses and doctors could save them. There was something admirable about the trust and faith people had in them; that they trusted them to save their lives. Surely, deep in their minds, they knew that if somehow, they were somehow a victim of Kira that there was nothing that could be done, not even endless amounts of money wouldn’t be able to help a victim of Kira in their last moments. Yet they would all still run to the emergency rooms, as a child would their parent begging for help.

She appreciated, however, the lack of small talk, the most he had done was give her a small nod of acknowledgement before he went back to working on his laptop. The same couldn’t be said for the other men who had walked in, greetings would be exchanged followed by the normal complaints of how short-staffed they had been as of late, how their families had been. No words were ever exchanged with Rin, which she didn’t mind, she would rather preoccupy herself with the notes she had prepared for the meeting rather than join the banter of what their children had been doing. ‘My oldest just got into his internship’ ‘our youngest is top of his class’, she wouldn’t even know what she would add to such a conversation, what had her daughter done lately? It was only after that thought that she realised how long it had been since she last spoke to her. Her heart sank in anxiety when it dawned on her, all her sleepless nights in the office meant that (Y/N) hadn’t heard from her in days. She made a mental note to message her later in the day. She had been stuck on that thought for so long that when she came back to reality, she had been shocked to see her reflection in the black mirror of her laptop.

Uncharacteristically, the client was late. This had immediately stood out to her when she looked up and saw that everyone was there, and a quick glance at her watch: 11:05. Five minutes? They were usually the type to be there within the minute. It had been why she and her colleagues had been careful to be in the meeting room ten minutes early and prepare their things so as to not waste time. She glanced around the room, the three other men were all sitting at the table, opposite to her. Her colleagues had yet to notice. In a usual circumstance, this would not be an issue, but something about it felt wrong to her. There was very little they knew about their client. He only attended the meetings via a laptop that his assistant would bring. Rin knew him well, rather, knew of him. He was a well-established medical researcher from the United States, Dr Allen Young. Due to his popularity in the medical field, he was often needed at many places at once, hence seldom appearing at meetings in person, rather he would send one of his assistants on his behalf to collect data and relay information from the client to the doctor.

“What is this even about didn’t we just meet up the other day? Surely, he doesn’t expect that our findings have changed in that time,” the youngest, Dr Ito, had given a concerned look towards the other three, “I’ve barely scraped the surface with my report.”

“Perhaps you’re just too slow,” the bald man, Dr Kato, next to him chuckled as he adjusted his half-moon glasses, a smug smile on his thin lips as he drummed his finger on his papers.

That had caused the third, Dr Mori, to speak up, a snicker on his breath, “Oh so the lovely intern ladies didn’t write your notes, did they?”

Rin narrowed her eyes as the men laughed, “Considering this is a highly confidential assignment I would hope that wouldn’t be happening at all, not to mention how such an act is against our code.”

Mori rolled his eyes, “It was just a jest, Rin, let’s not get worked up.”

“I fail to find the humour.”

“How very like you,” he held back a smirk before he looked down at his watch, “I could have grabbed a coffee before this after all, how annoying. But to answer your question Ito, no this isn’t regarding our findings, something to do with the papers.”

Rin cut in, “Information has been released to reporters regarding research around the heart attacks.”

Kato raised, “So someone in here told the press.”

“That or someone is not being careful with their notes.”

“Or sold their info,” Mori noted in a bored tone.

“You seem awfully calm considering this could jeopardise our careers.”

“No need to be under stress if I have nothing to hide.”

“Oh? So, if we do go under investigation you can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that it wasn’t you?” she raised an eyebrow, “not to mention that this won’t only affect your work on this team, but your work on any research board in the future?”

That seemed to make Mori silent. He simply cleared his throat and adjusted himself in his seat. The absence of his attitude had created an awkward energy between the three men as they sat in silence waiting for Dr Young’s assistant.  

*        *        *

“If you all read the email I sent you, you should be aware of why you are here today,” the voice announced from the laptop. There was no video rather just a black screen with ‘DR. A. YOUNG’ in what Rin thought was a Calibri typeface.

There was always a need for adjustment when they would have to talk with Dr Young. Even Rin had to admit there was an awkwardness to having to speak to a black screen while the assistant stood silently behind the screen. They had each been specifically selected by Dr Young to investigate the heart attacks of the victims of Kira to discern if there was some type of medical reason behind the sudden heart attacks. One of the original theories had been that some type of advanced drug may have been used on some victims to induce heart attacks but that had very quickly been thrown out. The research had come almost naturally to her as she had already been investigating it in her spare time, only now she had the funding and resources needed which had made her progression go far more smoothly. From what Rin understood, Dr Young had been in contact with the famous detective L and was working with him to investigate the Kira case, and any information found by their team that proved to be useful would be passed on to L. Which had only made their work even more stressful.

After the incident of information being leaked in the newspaper, Dr Young had insisted on a meeting to discuss further action. Rin recalled the article in question, it had made it to the front page of the paper, an ‘anonymous researcher’ had claimed that there were no discernible differences between the heart attacks that were caused by Kira and heart attacks that occurred naturally. Before then, while people may have assumed that there had been no difference between the two there had yet to be a confirmation.

“We cannot have anything like this happen again in future, while there is a chance that this was a lie spread by the media, we cannot risk the fact that someone in this room has been in communication with the media,” Dr Young said sternly, to which everyone had nodded, despite the fact they were not sure if he could see them, “moving on, I do not wish to keep you for too long, you will all be provided with new IDs while you work under us.”

“New IDs?” Ito asked, confused by the notion.

“Information has been relayed to me that there is a possibility that Kira needs both a name and face to kill, to prevent putting anyone here at risk of Kira’s actions, we will be providing you all with new IDs with false names and no picture, this will include your work ID and your licences. As a protective measure, information, and photos of you all that were previously available through the hospital’s database has now been removed.”

At this, the assistant had opened his black briefcase and pulled out four boxes, passing them to each of the four at the table. Rin held the box carefully in her hand, it reminded her of the type of box she would get from the jewellers when she got a new ring, although much larger. She carefully opened it and was immediately taken aback, despite having already been told what would be inside, she was still in awe and fear by how real they looked. There were near no differences to her usual cards, if she weren’t paying attention, she would easily mix them up. Although, the lack of pictures was rather disturbing. And the name: ARAKAWA Mei. Arakawa was spelt with characters for new and river, and Mei with bright and reliant.

“From here on I want you to only refer to each other with these names.”

“Are these even legitimate?” Mori questioned waving the card in front of him, “I mean there’s no way I can replace my license with this?”

“No these are indeed legitimate and will serve the same purpose as your previous IDs,” Dr Young said in a matter-of-fact tone. “Due to the current circumstance, new regulations have been made across Japan and perhaps soon other countries. Selected people will be provided with these new IDs to protect them from Kira as a precaution. Start using these as you would your previous IDs and do not worry about if there will be any issues with them.”

“Wait so is everyone in the hospital getting one of these?” Ito asked.

The lack of pause seemed to only raise anxiety for Ito, “No. Due to how difficult it is to regulate this only very few selected people have been permitted the use of these IDs. More work is being done in other institutions in protecting certain individuals, I believe certain honour students from To Oh will have their photos removed from their online student profiles and names censored in some circumstances.”

No further words had been said. The four at the table had quickly stolen glances with each other, a silent conversation where they were all in agreement, this was far more serious than they had originally thought. And they were the only ones in their facility who were getting this protection. Perhaps the only ones at all so far that had this protection.

Dr Young had taken the silence as an opportunity to go on, “As I’m sure you understand this information is strictly confidential and must not make it out to the public. I can see you are all concerned about this, but I assure you we are doing everything we can to keep you safe.”

So, he could see us.

“Wait so no one is going to know that Kira needs a name and face?” Ito’s face was flushed, Rin could see the card shaking in his hand as he tried to remain calm.

“No, such a fact would cause a public uproar, this is to stay in this room. This is why we need someone to oversee protecting information, while we are willing to let the first leak go as there is a possibility that the press made it up to cause outrage, we cannot risk more information being spread.”

“But we have to tell them!” Ito snapped without thinking, his words got caught in his breath as he tried to explain himself, “I-I mean –”

“Dr Young is right,” Rin finally said, “this is clearly a measure to keep those of us investigating safe, we cannot risk losing those of us that may be of assistance in catching Kira.”

“But innocent people could die.”

“Don’t be so naive Dr Ito, there is no way for L to provide such a precaution to all Japanese citizens, and what is to stop criminals from using this for negative means, or worse, for Kira to use this to hide,” her voice was stern, “it is unlikely that Kira will target those who are not criminals and who are not investigating, you saw what happened at the TV station, even the police were targeted, as long as our citizens do not go out of their way to find Kira they should be safe. We cannot risk, however, the possibility that we ourselves may become targets due to our research – of course, if you wish to give up your ID and give it to a random citizen and put yourself at risk then, by all means, go ahead,” she added when he was about to protest.

He was silent for a moment before he let out a heavy sigh and leaned back in his seat. While no one had said anything, they knew she was right. None of them were willing to speak up.

“Well said Dr Arakawa,” Dr Young’s voice broke the silence from the laptop. It had taken a moment for Rin to realise he was referring to her. She had cleared her throat to collect herself before thanking him.

It seemed that he had liked what she had to say so much so that he wanted her to be the one to be sure that no information from their group – which he had declared the MRK (Medical Research of Kira) – should make its way to the public. If she were honest, the remainder of the meeting had escaped her mind as she stared at her glass of water. No ice remained, the puddle of water from the condensation had only grown and spread to the edge of her stacked papers, soaking in. No doubt when she would pick up that stack that the tip would rip and there was nothing she could do about it. The depth of the situation had started to dawn on her, no longer was she an innocent bystander sharing their thoughts to a higher power who could do as they wished with it. Now, she was part of it, she had been drawn in unknowingly, in far too deep where it was too late to come out, like paper in water, unable to leave in one piece. Was it entrapment? She would no longer be able to leave this as Rin (L/N). Now she was in the water, her only lifeboat the name of Mei Arakawa. She was caught in the water, and there was no escape, there was no escape, there was no escape –

“– so, at the end of each meeting I suggest that you all give any information you have collected to Dr Arakawa, and she will keep hold of it until your next meeting.”

They had all nodded in agreement, Rin – Mei – didn’t risk asking to be filled in on what exactly she had zoned out of at risk of sounding as though she was not giving the respect that was needed for the discussion, she was sure she could piece together the rough idea on what was going on. The meeting had soon finished after that, and they exchanged their new names. The others had decided to give Rin their current notes that they had brought to the meeting and agreed to meet the following week. 

Chapter Text

“It’s not like that,” you defended, there was no hiding the sigh in your voice as you reached out for your food, the warm June air made it a perfect day for something sweet. You could feel the sun's heat kiss the back of your neck as you sat outside the street cafe with Sato, who had just finished reapplying the sunscreen she kept in her handbag, “honestly I know you're not his biggest fan, but it feels like you want something to be wrong with him.”

“I don’t want anything to be wrong I’m just saying he’s been gone for weeks,” she raised her hands up defensively before going back to her coffee, “at least I haven’t seen him. Or heard him call.”

“He’s just been busy with his studies.” It wasn’t exactly the truth. You had received a call from Matsu two weeks ago regarding Light and his involvement in the task force. It hadn’t surprised you that they would ask for his help, what had shocked you more was that he said that Light would be needed within the headquarters day and night. You hadn’t heard anything from him, a phone call, not even a text. Matsu had called so you wouldn’t be alarmed by his sudden no contact. While you appreciated the sentiment, it did not prevent the shock, nor did it make it any easier to adapt; it was strange, you hadn’t realised how much your day involved him until he was gone. But it was the last day. Matsu had said they would only need him for two weeks on this particular task, so soon, everything would return to normal. And of course, you had to keep this all secret, as much as you didn’t like lying to Sato you knew you had to hold the integrity of the task force. It was privileged information; it couldn’t be released to the public.

“After meeting a pop idol?”

Although, lying to Sato never felt right, no matter how much you had reminded yourself that it was the right thing to do. It also didn’t help the lingering suspicion in the back of your mind that if she just knew then perhaps, she wouldn’t jump to such conclusions. Hell, if you were on the other side, and your friend had told you a similar story, perhaps you would fall down the same route. Then again, perhaps Sato would just find another reason something was wrong.

“Stop you know he’s not like that,” you rolled your eyes before you leaned in and fluttered your eyelashes a playful smile on your features, ready to lighten the mood, “and here I thought you’d be happy to spend the extra time with me, if you didn’t want me around you could have just told me, honestly, I’m heartbroken Sato.”

She tried to save face, stare at you with unmoving eyes, but cracked. A small chuckle left her as she shook her head, “Okay, okay, maybe I’m being a little mean.” 

Even though she had been working at Yotsuba for quite some time, you had never adapted to her new attire. The ill-fitted red jacket would occasionally make a visit on her casual days or peeked out of the top of her handbag. Replaced with grey blazers and form-fitting office wear. Even her ponytail would hide away as it would more often than not be tied back into a bun or up in a clip. She looked so mature. She was mature. But there was always an air of youth around her. You had often found yourself forgetting she was actually your senior in the way she carried herself and assumed that she too was just a year off from their twenties.

“Just a little,” you smiled, “anyway, I think that’s enough grilling into me, how have you been? Is it busy at Yotsuba?”

She sighed and slumped in her seat, you had noticed that as of recent she had been avoiding questions regarding the prestigious company, even in front of her other friends, “You would not believe, the boss has been a bit uptight but I think he’s closing in on some deal,” she shrugged, “good news is that a little birdie told me that they will be offering me a full-time position when my internship is over.”

“That’s great news! In what position?”

“Financial analyst, nothing too crazy I’ll be working on a team, but give me time and I’ll work my way up,” there was a little smirk on her features as she reached out for her coffee. You would be lying if you told her that you understood what that meant, and she would know it, but nonetheless, you were excited for her, and whatever it was her job was.

“I don’t doubt it.”

“Also, that reminds me,” she jumped up slightly in her seat, her mood instantly lighter, “I’m having a party soon, a bit of a mash-up between housewarming, celebrating work, this and that, and I would love for you to come!”

You hesitated, “Oh are you sure? I don’t really know your other friends.”

“And?” she raised an eyebrow, “I want you there regardless.”

“They might not like me-”

She waved you off, not letting you speak further, “None of that, they’re all very chill, they’d love you. Look you can even bring Light if you want to, if he can put it in his busy schedule.” She added as a bargaining chip, a cheeky smile on her face.

You didn’t even attempt to tell her off and shrugged, “Text me the address and date?”

“Of course, you better be there.”

***

Sato had not been lying about her schedule being a bit of a mess. Not long after your coffee meetup, she had run off saying that she had to drop off something for her boss, and pick something up, and something, something regarding her supervisor. Her words had been rushed and muffled from what was left of her muffin in her mouth. Which had meant the rest of your day that wasn’t spent notetaking was rather barron. In fact, life in the Yagami household ever since Light had left had been rather quiet. You believed the story given to his family was that he had found an apartment and moved out. Even though it had only been two weeks, it still felt odd to walk past his door and not knock to check how he was going. You hadn’t realised how much you had engrained him in your life that it felt weird to not have him in it.

And without him nagging you to refine your lecture notes, you spent most of your afternoon sprawled out on your bed, book in hand, escaping away from reality for a little while, while music hummed in the background. Although, as much as you had been excited to fall into the world within the pages, each and every word seemed to go through your brain and not stick. No longer than twenty minutes had passed before you tossed it to the side and laid down on your back and stared into the ceiling. Perhaps if you looked hard enough, holes would burn into it. A groan escaped you as you covered your eyes with your arm. More frustrated with yourself than anything. If your brain wasn’t going to allow you to concentrate on your note-taking, why couldn’t it cooperate with something you actually enjoyed doing?

Another groan escaped when you heard your phone ring, the vibration creating an irritating rattling on the wooden bedside table. You didn’t think twice when arm reached out for it, perhaps Sato to give you more information regarding the party she would be holding. You found a small part of you hoping that by that time, Light would be out, and you could invite him out. Perhaps it could be their ‘bonding’ moment. Yet, the voice on the other side of the phone after you greeted was not one you had expected to hear.

“Hey, it’s Matsuda.”

You froze, a deer caught in headlights, nervous and excited all at once. If he were calling surely, he had an update, but with the way that his voice had sounded on the other side, there was no sound of promise. You rose slowly to sit up, grabbing a pillow to rest in your lap, “hey, what’s up?”

“Ah, well, nothing really uh – right, well it’s about Light,” he fumbled through his words, stumbling on each one. You could lightly make out the noise in the background, indistinctive mumbling and the hum of the other side.

“Yeah?” there was no hiding the urgency that lingered on your lips, “is he coming back?”

He sighed, “N-no, we need to keep him a little longer,”

“Oh, how much longer?”

There was a hesitation, “there’s no saying, perhaps another couple of days, maybe a few weeks, this investigation is a lot more fickle than we thought, his help is really needed,” he explained, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” you interjected, “you don’t need to be sorry, I completely understand, it’s just –” you paused, unsure if it were wise to go on, yet, you wanted to, it felt safe to tell him, “it’s just been really lonely without him hear.”

“I can imagine, I’m sorry (Y/N).”

“It’s okay.”

There was silence between the both of you, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, in fact, it was welcomed. You were sure that if you in front of him in that moment that he would comfort you in a warm embrace or offer to get you something to drink, his little notions that he tended to lean towards to try and ease any tension. It felt as though even for a moment, the hum drum background noise on his end had quietened.

“I better not hold you up any longer—"

“Wait,” you interrupted, “can you stay on the phone for longer? I wouldn’t mind the company.”

There was a silence that followed, a low muddle came from the other side of the phone, you couldn't make out what was being said, but you were sure it was someone else talking in a low murmur. 

You hesitated for a moment and let out an awkward chuckle, “It’s okay if you can’t, you’re probably really busy.”

“No, no!” he interrupted, a slight hint of panic in his voice, “I-I have time, I just need to (another pause) get into another room.”

You clearly heard a door close, followed by the sound of things being shuffled around, “Are you sure? I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Nonononono,” he assured, his rushed voice soft, “you could never be a bother, honestly, it’s good to even hear your voice, another day and I might have gone insane if I didn’t hear from someone on the outside.”

A small chuckle escaped the both of you, although, you suspected that he was somewhat telling the truth, and in those brief moments of silence, where it truly felt as though you were alone, you finally said what had been lingering on your mind, “Matsu, is everything okay?”

You heard a sigh from the other end of the phone followed by a tense pause, “It’s just been a bit harder than we thought, it’ll be okay though, we have a great team so I’m sure it’ll work out for the best…”

I more meant you, you wanted to say, and you were sure he knew that too. You weren’t about to press it any further than what it needed to be, the conversation had soon moved on to everything and nothing, just enjoying what time the both of you had, and for just a moment, escape from reality.

Chapter Text

For all the time of knowing him, you had never been to Matsuda’s house, although that seemed fair considering the potential inappropriateness of it. You recalled that on the drive home to your mother's house that he had offered for you to stay the night, and that he would drop you off at the Yagami’s when you were ready. At the time you had rejected the offer, which may have been for the best as he only had one bed and knowing Matsu, he would banish himself to the couch – he already had seemed so tired that you hadn’t wanted to add more to his restless nights. The first thing you noticed upon entering the living area of his apartment after he had struggled with the keys was the smell of coffee. You took him for a caffeine addict but never expected his home to have the comforting aroma. 

You heard him mumble an apology as he placed his keys on the coffee table and made his way to the kitchenette, offering to make you a coffee (which you simply had to accept). The word cosy popped into your mind as you looked around, taking a seat on the couch, it was a smaller apartment, with an open area for a kitchen and living space, a hallway that led to the bathroom and bedroom, an appropriate size for someone living alone. It looked how you had imagined, the furniture placed in a way to attempt to make the space seem larger, some books strewn about on the coffee table, along with yellow folders that you presumed had to do with work.

Matsu had called you near the early hours of the day and asked if he could meet you to discuss your ‘poetry’ further but in a more private space. It seemed fair, considering the rapid nature of Kira’s growth it would be best suited to start having these conversations in more private areas where the two of you could speak freely. It couldn’t be at the Yagami’s the risk of Sayu, or Light's mother overhearing was too high, not to mention the risk of them asking Matsuda questions that could lead to almost slip-ups; as much as you liked Matsuda you couldn’t deny that he had a tendency to be a bad liar, especially to those he cares for. As for your home? Not particularly on the table, and there was no way he could give you the location of headquarters or let you in for that manner. So of course, his house became the best option.

Your notebook was neatly placed on the arm of the chair as you waited for him to bring over the two cups. It had been so long since you had last seen him in person. He had made an effort to call you more often the following weeks after you confided in him, but it was different being able to see him. You hadn’t been able to help yourself when you gave him a hug when he picked you up. You hadn’t paid attention to his dishevelled look or loose-fitting clothes. But when he handed you your cup, you couldn’t help it. It had only reminded you of the first time you shared your findings, how tired he was. He just seemed worse, even if his cheerful warm demeanour stayed.

“I need to get more milk soon, but it’s been so busy lately,” he sighed as he leaned back in the opposite lounge.

“I could have got you some,” you assured, “you can always just message me, and I’ll gladly deliver, especially now I know where you live.”

He hesitated for a moment, “Ah yes, you know my area now.”

“Apartment number and all, a dangerous move there,” you joked, which did seem to get a chuckle out of him before he took a sip from his coffee.

“Wouldn’t be the first time thing I’ve done something stupid,” while there was a hint of a joking tone on his tongue, you could help but find that perhaps there was something more to that statement.

You would push it but knowing how he had been lately with brushing everything away, you settled for not pressuring him to unpack it, “if this is you being stupid, I’ll take it every day.”

Although small, that seemed to help. It was quiet between the two of you until he had finally cleared his throat, “Right so, you know I asked to meet because of your notebook there –c(he continued when you gave a nod) – well I shared your ideas with L and he really liked them, in fact, some of them had actually aligned with his own theories, in his words the ‘first baselines before they were refined’ but nonetheless an amazing feat.”

You could hear your heart in your ears, the low drum in your chest, that travelled to the tips of your fingers while you held your cup. Obviously, he had shown the team, he told you he would. But something about the way he was presenting it to you felt off. The direct mention of L, the direct quote from L. Although brief, a thought flashed in your mind on if perhaps the detective thought that you were at fault if you ‘knew too much’. Surely that couldn’t be the case, you knew for a fact, yet something inside your chest was almost taunting you that you were in trouble.

“There has been a lot of time and thought put into this, and I don’t want you to think that I’m saying this because we aren’t fully sure, or because you think that I have a bias towards you, this meeting is happening because everyone within the task force has come to an agreement.”

There was a part of you that just wanted to snap at him to get on with it, but another that just wanted him to stop there and hear him out, even to give him the comfort that he was allowed to take his time and that – 

“We want you to meet with L, more specifically: L wants to meet you.”

***

 “ L wants to meet you.”

The words had not left your mind, from the moment he said them in the house until the second you entered his car. You hadn’t even been sure how to react to that kind of statement. The two of you had just sat there in silence for what felt like too long. You could’ve sworn that you saw the second hand of the clock stop as though wanting to make it drag even further. It seemed as though this was also noticed by Matsuda, although he did not do anything to comfort it, and you guessed it had to have been because he didn't know what to say. You wouldn’t either. The only words that the two of you had exchanged had been brief  (“Do I have a choice?” to which his pleading eyes far too much like some sad puppy had looked back at you and he sighed “I’m sorry”). What would he even want to talk about? If the two of you had similar thoughts then he shouldn't need your assistance at all. 

What stood out the most about the building where they held their operation was the lack of security. You almost expected men who wear sunglasses inside with black suits and white earpieces; which in hindsight did sound a little silly. It just felt too easy. Matsuda swiped a card and let you walk in the elevator first. There must have been live security and cameras everywhere to make up for that, otherwise, it felt more like a design flaw. 

The main floor they worked on looked like any other office, you were sure Sato’s office probably looked a lot like it. As you were led to a room to the side, you had been greeted by many familiar faces that you had seen on the occasions that you would visit the police station, either to see Light or to drop off some things for his dad. You had given them an awkward wave before Matsuda showed you the door, gesturing for you to open it. He had mentioned that you would have to be in the interview by yourself, something you had not been looking forward to. 

Your mouth had almost fallen agape when the door opened. Sitting in the dimly lit room, knees tucked to his chest, was Ryuga, Light’s classmate. He had been chewing on the skin of his thumb as he read through some papers before they met yours. He didn’t smile a greeting or make a joke of how awkward the situation one, he had just dropped the folder down on the small mahogany table and gestured for you to sit on the matching blue couch across from him, “A pleasure for you to come.” Of course, he explained himself. The great detective L, who went undercover for the Kira case as a student at To-Oh University to touch base with Light. You didn’t even need to think about it twice, his story was the sanest thing about this situation. 

“I’m sure Matsuda told you why you’ve been brought here today?” he didn’t look at you as he spoke, he had been more focused on unwrapping one of his sweets that he had pulled out of a decorative glass bowl, “I read that journal of yours, very interesting stuff, tell me, how did you come to your conclusions?”

You hesitated, air caught in your throat, “Uh - well, I just kept a record and went from there.”

“Well yes that’s true, but you did some predictions too, I think that’s a bit more than just record keeping, wouldn’t you say? In fact, I’d call that pattern recognition.”

You just nodded, “I guess yeah.”

“You guess? Or you know?”

“I know,” you corrected yourself, “I’ve kind of always had a knack for it.”

He nodded slightly, he seemed deep in thought as he chewed, “Tell me, based on everything you’ve learned so far, how would you describe Kira?”

“Pardon? Like a personality profile.”

“Correct.”

“I don’t think I - (you continued when he gave you what you could only call a stern look, and you let out a heavy sigh) - based on what I’ve looked at, I’d say that perhaps he’s someone who is frustrated with the current Justice system, someone who believes he’s very smart, he usually from what I’ve noticed goes after quite unusual people, a lot of white collar crimes, people who can usually pay to get away with it. Although, in saying that, there was that period where he took a different angle, sexual offence and assaults in general, it almost seemed a bit emotionally driven either way his targets while always criminals seem to be focused on people who easily get away with their crimes. Primary, rich, upper-class men.”

He stared at you attentively, his chin resting on his hand as he watched, a little glint flashed in his eye before he reached out for another lolly, “Fascinating,” he mused, “I would like you to join us.”

His statement had come so abruptly that you had almost choked on the air, causing you to cough, “I’m sorry?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself, you know what I mean.”

“I’m sorry I don’t think I’m the type of person you want for this role.”

“Yes, you are, I do my research before I hire people,” he said simply as he grabbed another lolly, fiddling with the wrapper, “your test results placed you in the top tenth percentile in Japan, a letter from the Dean of To-Oh offered you an academic scholarship due to it and your teachers seem to think you’re a delight (he popped it in his mouth) I’m not sure why you go parading around as though you don’t have any wits about you. It might work on your friends and family but don’t think I’m so easily fooled.”

He got access to your school records? To your acceptance letter? 

He went on, “If you doubt how serious I am about this, please refer to the section in your journal where you theorise that Kira needs a name and a face to kill, you were correct in your assumptions, so I’m sure you can understand the gravity of this situation now that I have exposed myself to you.”

You cringed a little at the wording, hesitating your response, “I don’t I can balance this and university.” the easiest excuse that came to your mind.

“No normal person could which is why I would request you leave.”

He said it far too simply, as though it were obvious. It didn’t feel obvious to you. After all the work you had done to get there, you doubted your parents would be pleased with the news either. 

“Now I don’t want you to think that I want you to put your life on hold indefinitely, that’s why, I have some offers to make to you. A meeting of the minds, you would have come across that term by now in your classes correct?”

“Yes.” It was one of the first things taught in contracts. A meeting of the minds is when two parties come together and state their intentions in forming a contract, where they can gain an understanding of each other's intentions. It was one of the very first steps in making a contract. 

“If you join me and assist us on this case, I will make arrangements for you to do an accelerated course under me, meaning you'll be finished your degree in a more timely manner, and (he added on just as you were about to interrupt) once you have completed your studies and our work here is done, I will provide you with a written reference letter. I have my own connections and I’m sure I can get you work somewhere.”

You were silent. Everyone of any standing knew of the great detective, and if you had a letter of recommendation from him … it could change the trajectory of your career. 

“That is if you join us of course.

You nodded.

“What are the elements of creating a contract?”

You took a breath and thought for a moment, recalling the flashcards you had worked on “Offer, acceptance, consideration, intention to create a legal relationship, authority, capacity, and … certainty.”

“Then we start discussing our terms now, wouldn’t you? Perfect, Oh, before we start I just have one more question.”

You stared at him expectantly. 

“The personality you gave me earlier, do you think it matches that of Light Yagami.”

“Absolutely not,” you responded almost too quickly.

“And why would you say that?”

“While I admit their philosophies align there is one distinct difference between Light and Kira.”

“And that would be?”

When he spoke he held this aura of something deeper, something more demanding, while weak in form there was an intimidation that you could feel in his gaze. As though this weak-bodied form was nothing more than a front to have people underestimate him. And while his gaze was stern and intense, sure to turn to stone any second, and his words laced with not curiosity but malice and venom, more of a challenge than anything. Your confidence did not waver as you sat up straight and met his eyes, doing all you could to match his demeanour, your voice the most cool and steady it had been in your entire meeting. It was obvious now, why he had tried to touch base with Light, why he questioned you and why he potentially wanted you on the task force, he wanted a character witness, someone to back his theory. You would not entertain such an absurd idea, “Light could never intentionally hurt someone.”

Chapter Text

hi everyone ! 

it has been a HOT minute i understand :( 

i feel really bad that i havent updated in so long so i wanted to pose a question. 

i do still want to attempt to finish this but i find myself losing time. 

would you guys be interested in either a large (or couple of) chapter(s) that is the outline of what the plan for the fic was. 

This would include plot twists, the hints i have previously dropped and what they mean for later, the ending etc 

i dont want to leave it unfinished and then you guys are left on a cliff hanger. 

this wouldn't mean that i would quit the fic completely, but as a precaution as i am not sure when i am going to finish this 

let me know please 

thanks guys ! 

Chapter Text

L had been generous with his time limit with his offer. Too generous. You had wanted to be more of a strategist, give it more time before you came to your decision (“you cannot let them know you’re too eager!” you could practically hear Sato in your ear). How were you meant to not  be overly keen? A fully paid for accelerated course, that would involve practical elements not available at any other institution, experience, and a reference from one of the world's most renowned detectives. To put simple, it was a deal that you could not refuse. Especially in the competitive nature of your aspired career. You had re-read that agreement twenty times, thirty times, forty times … and once your signature had been signed, you had wondered if you should have read it for the fiftieth. The moment your pen had hit the paper, and the moment you had returned to headquarters to hand in those papers. Everything changed. Within minutes, a story had been made, a letter to your university that you would no longer be studying with them and to withdraw from your classes, and a version of the story to tell your university friends about how you had been accepted by an accelerated program. Soon followed by the summaried (however, still lengthy) explanation of what the task force had discovered. Light being their main suspect, followed by Misa, his father locking himself up until his son was proven innocent. The mental toll it had seemed to take on everyone. However, the information that had struck you the most, were the killings that continued to happen while Light was locked away, some stating they believed it cleared Light’s name (L seemed to roll his eyes at this notion). 

It was all at once too much information. Too much information that you didn’t even know where you were meant to start with it all, it had intimidated you. It had only been more intimidating when you sat across from Ryuga, as he read through your notebook. He had carefully read through each page, muttering under his breath. You had been unsure if he had meant to talk to you and had hoped that if he did want a response that he would just repeat himself more loudly so that it would catch your attention. You just sat there, on the plush blue couch. Hands in your lap as you stared at him. An older man stood behind him, you hadn’t grabbed his name yet, he hadn’t spoken a word, he would only occasionally glance over Ryuga’s shoulder when he would do a certain hand gesture before he would go back to standing straight. You guess the two had to be somewhat close, and if not close, at minimum, worked together for quite some time. Their silent conversation seemed too in depth, especially when they were not looking at each other. 

Your gaze lingered on the detective, L, Ryuga, whatever he wanted to be called. The white shirt that hung loosely on his body, and baggy jeans. He dressed exactly as he had on campus. The brief thought flickered in your mind on if how he was presenting himself in front of you was still a costume, or if this was genuinely how the detective presented himself on a day-to-day basis. Dark under eyes from lack of sleep, dishevelled hair, you supposed you had read about detectives with this type of edge to them, but that was part of the problem. It felt far too much like a costume, an act, something to make you lower your guard. Although, perhaps someone of his…standing, simply no longer saw the use in being sure that they create a perfect image of themselves, like Light.  

“It’s impressive,” he finally said, loud enough for you to hear. You had almost jumped slightly in your seat, not expecting to ever hear him talk again, “it seems like you deduced two killers not too long after I did, although your notes severely lack confidence.” 

You weren’t sure if that was meant to be a compliment, “Always humble?” you attempted to joke. 

He did not seem to find the humour, “I also see you have this table at the back here, predictions.”

“Yes, but it’s a little all over the place, especially after the appearance of the second Kira, it’s a lot harder to predict how they’d move.”

“Understandable, still, interesting,” he mused, “you met Miss Amane correct?”

You paused, “Yes.”

“Bit of a coincidence isn’t it? That she appears, singing praises of Kira and somehow bumps into the two of you, and now is a suspect as well.”

“Are you-”

“I’m not implicating you if that’s your question, I’m just asking that you consider the odds of how likely such a scenario is.”

 “It is unlikely, but we met by pure mistake,” you said, you remembered that day clearly, you had bumped into her, literally, “if you’re implying that it was a way for her to meet Light, that is a bit far fetched. I can understand a Kira meeting, but nothing happened. We bumped into her, exchanged numbers and left.”

“You don’t think there was a possibility that this was a chance for her to make contact with Kira?”

“With me there?” you tilted your head, brows furrowed, “i’m sorry I don’t follow, nothing suspicious happened, how were they meant to communicate that they’re both Kira when she only talked to me. What sign could she have possibly given? What sign could he have given her? I was there that day, unless you’re implying I’m Kira and set it all up, I don’t know why you are throwing Light under the bus.”

“Only Light?”

His question had not missed a beat, and had been said in such a matter-of-fact tone that you had paused for a moment, “What-”

“You only mentioned Light, not Miss Amane, do you think she is the second Kira?”

“I-”

“Do you think she aligns with the profiles you have briefly touched on in your own notes?”

“That’s not what I meant, Light is - I’m more familiar with Light, and you keep accusing him.”

“Miss Amane is also under investigation, in fact, I am more sure of her part in this than I am Light’s,” he said in a dry tone, he closed your notebook and held it out to you, “so, lets try this one more time, your thoughts on Miss Amane?”

You stared at him for a moment, his wide eyes bore into your own, almost making you feel smaller. You carefully reached out for your notebook, “I don’t have enough information. She has been a Kira supporter in the public eye, but that doesn’t mean she’s involved. Many people idolise Kira, but as far as we know, there aren’t thousands of Kiras, just two.”

The smallest curl of a smile appeared on the corner of his lip for a brief moment, “I suppose we’ll see, won't we?”

***

You had been mostly relieved when it came time for you to be given the ‘grand tour’ (as much as a grand tour could be given to a small office space), you had been even more relieved when you were informed it would not be L who would give you this tour, rather Matsuda (“I’m sure you would much prefer a familiar face” is how L had put it, he was correct). It was during that walk that it all made sense. How much pressure the team was under, the pressure Matsuda was under. Taking his usual upbeat personality into account, you weren’t sure that this environment was viable for him. You had only half paid attention to his words as he talked, explaining the case while giving a general tour, kitchen, bathroom, office space, you managed to catch a few things that were very ‘Matsu’ things: letting you know the best spot to go for morning coffee, how the sun hits just right and that most of the team will not be there during certain times of the day, and a spot just outside the building with a small park - you think you caught the tail end of him mentioning that he would go there if he felt he had not seen the sun for too long. 

“Anyway, Ryuga had mentioned that he would need to have a study at some point to help, so I guess he was referring to you.” he said offhandedly, “which now that I think of it, it’s kind of weird because he only brought up inviting you a week ago, and this had already been made…always three steps ahead I guess.”

Ryuga. The name he had used at university. Now that you thought about it, it was a smart move. With the information now confirmed to you that Kira needed both a name and a face, there would be very little way for Kira to write Ryuga’s name without thinking of the actor - that of course was under the assumption that Light was Kira, a fact you very much still doubted. Still. It was a good idea, 

“Is he always like that?” you asked, “make you feel like you’re failing a test? He asked me questions about my own work and I felt like I didn’t know what I was talking about.”

“All the time, it’s kind of scary (he quickly added on) not in a frightening sense! Just in a, huh that’s weird kind of way if that makes sense, but then again it does scare me some - sorry, I’m blabbering,” he apologised, “it’s been a while since I’ve not just had a, I don’t know, normal conversation?”

You considered his words for a moment, and you could not fault him. Trapped, for lack of a better term, in a building where the topic at hand all day, every day, without fail, was a murder case. Perhaps a talk about how nice a study looked was now a foreign concept, “No I get you,” you offered a smile, “it’s a bit overwhelming, honestly. I have no idea how you guys do it.”

A shaky laugh escaped Matsu as he started to walk towards the kitchen, coffee in the afternoon, not usually a good sign, “I mean, the rest of the team seems to cope well with it - I’m sure you’ll be the same. Me? It feels like I keep messing up.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” you tried to offer a reassuring tone as you followed him. You had found a spot to sit at the small table and chairs that were set next to the window he had talked about earlier. No warm glow greeted you, the setting sun leaving nothing but a sky of orange, pinks and purples. 

“Sometimes I think you’re too kind to me,” he chuckled slightly, as he poured himself a cup once the kettle had boiled, “but I am trying my best, at least I think I am - but regardless, how are you feeling about it all? I’m sure you’re not looking forward to leaving your friends?”

He was doing it again. At this point it was a blatant pattern of behaviour, dodging any conversation that had to do with his own feelings, hardly letting you get more than just a minor glimpse of what was going on in his mind. You knew if you pressed he would only avoid more, and maybe even start to avoid even sharing these brief snippets with you. You would let it go, for now, “It’s so early in the year you know? I don’t really have many close friends, aside from Sato.”

“Have I met her?”

You shook your head, “Not yet, she’s a senior, finance, numbers and all that gross stuff,” you lightly joked, “honestly I probably should introduce you two, she’s really nice, maybe a tad dry.”

“I’m sure if you’re friends then she must be pleasant company,” he sipped his coffee, “do you talk to any of your friends from before university?”

You shrugged, “I mean, there’s Yuri but,” you paused, the feeling dawning on you, you had not spoken to her in so long, were you a bad friend? How could you forget her? “I haven’t talked to her for a while. Shit.”

Just as you were able to spot it for him, Matsu didn’t fail to notice the flicker of stress on your features when you had paused, he waved you off, “I wouldn’t stress, these things happen, especially when you’re no longer around each other everyday,” he assured you, “if you’re good friends, when you reconnect it will feel as though no time has passed.”

“You think?”

“I know it, some of my best mates I’ve not seen in - god, it must have been years, but when we do meet up, or get on the phone,” he could not hide the smile that crept on his face, “just trust me.”

It'd be nice if he were right. Maybe he was. You could give him the benefit of experience, and to finally get a smile out of him? That set some good faith. You watched him as he washed his cup, being sure to dry it and put it away straight after. You bit the bullet, you wanted to make sure he could at least end the day keeping up the high note, "Walk with me? Your apartment is on the way," you offered, "I also wanted to pick up some take-out."

"Yeah sure, I'd like that."

Chapter Text

It was enough to make anyone sick. The sight of the small woman strapped down to a hand truck. A sick feeling lingered in your stomach at how she had been tied down. The metal mask that covered her eyes. A strap straight across her throat, along with other straps around her body that all met at a point in the centre of her chest, also confined in a straight jacket. In your later years, you would regret not bringing up that you felt that the two straps that held her lower half down by meeting between her legs, forcing whatever material there to bunch up was wildly inappropriate. In your later years, you would wish that you had the self confidence to speak up and say that forcing her to stand for days straight was inhumane, considering Light spent his time sitting in his cell. But in your younger years, you did not have that confidence to speak up, to voice your opinion. In a room of older, more experienced men, and more so, the detective that organised all of this, you did not have the ability to disagree. In later years, you would spend much time trying to apologise for this. 

Misa Amane, in lack of better terms, had been hard to crack. Denying food, silent treatment for days (although, little did he know that a certain snow pale creature would keep her company during these days), using methods to make it harder for her to sleep. Nothing seemed to work on the young idol. She would not confess that she was the second Kira, and not confess that Light Yagami was Kira. When pressed about how she met him, she had just given the same answer every time, that she had bumped into them, she ruined (Y/N)s clothes, and wanted to get in contact with her to get her a new top. Sometimes she would add more detail, sometimes she would keep it as simple as if it had been an accidental meeting. Her story never changed. 

But there was something L did not consider, something that while it may brush across his mind, it would never truly embed itself. Misa Amane would never give up Kira, which in turn, meant she would keep Light Yagami safe, and this was not for some sickly crush that he had theorised, or because she was too stupid to know what was best, her reason was more simple. Kira’s power had saved her life . 

The image of that morning burned in her mind. It had been so normal. There had been no signs, no strange foreboding in the air to warn her of what was to come. Not when she had looked in the mirror and picked her outfit, not when she had put her earbuds in and made a quick snack. There had been no impending doom, not a shift in the breeze when she left her home on her way to work, no foreboding crows warning her to stay away. She did not think twice when an older man had stopped to talk to her, proclaiming that he was a massive fan. She knew her role, even if he creeped her out or frightened her, it was always safer to play nice to these types, if she dared to give him any sign that she was uncomfortable or didn’t want to talk to him, there would be no saying what he could do as retaliation. Not even just as an idol, but as a woman. She had been raised to fear the unpredictable man. 

If only that advice meant anything.

She could feel her heart beating so fast, and so hard that it felt as though it were trying to jump out of her throat and escape, live. The glimmer of the knife, the way the sun had reflected off it, as though it were some disgusting metaphor for seeing the light. How bitter. How crude. And for the briefest of moments before the blade touched her skin, a feeling washed over her body in between the beats of her stammering heart, where each beat felt as though it lasted centuries. This was it, it was her time. She remembered wincing her eyes shut, tear drops burning the corner of her eyes as she turned her head away. She had felt the sharp sting on her throat, followed by warmth, then, nothing. A thud then clatter. When she had opened her eyes, the man laid on the ground, eyes wide in fear, staring straight at her. Dead. The knife had landed near him, small drops crimson on it, appearing like small rubies in the morning sun. A shaky hand rose to her throat, near she could feel the pressure applied to her vocal chords even at the slightest touch. The warm liquid coated her fingers. She had survived. Everything after that had been a blur. Police, hospital visits, specialist visits with her agent, fortunately for them, she would sing again. People all needed her attention, and not a moment to herself. She had been in the room when the surgeon assured her agent that while she had stitches, it would leave nothing more than a cosmetic scar, perhaps minor vocal therapy. Her agent had at the time chastised her on the drive to her motel, going on about how the scar could ruin her entire career, Misa had thought that her dying would probably ruin her career more. When he had pulled up at her hotel, he had then finally praised her that the scar was in a spot that could easily be covered by her chokers - as though that were the most fortunate thing to come out of it all. It was the very same spot that now was covered by the tight leather strap. At the time, it had been concluded that the man just had a sudden heart attack, theorised to be that the event caused great stress on his body. In a sense, for her, a miracle that saved her life. She had not been given a moment to let out any feelings she had about that day until she was alone in her hotel room. 

When the man that killed her parents died the same way, and when she had met Rem. It all came together, while Kira did not kill her attacker, Kira used that very same power to punish her parents' murderer. Twice, had she been blessed by him. Saved by him. Seen by him and his power. Giving away half of her remaining years in exchange of the Shinigami eyes, eyes that would allow her to see everyones name by simply looking at them. And after seeing the man that killed her parents being punished, she would happily give away her last years. She could still see the smug smile he had on his face the day he had been declared not guilty in court. The disgusting smirk he had on his mouth. The way he laughed once he was outside.  The way that he waved to her, a smug smile on his face as she got into her car. To see that bastard's name in the obituary, it washed her in a warmth of joy and relief that she had never experienced. That was what the power of Kira could do. That is what she would do. Make the world better. To allow him to be the saviour that he was destined to be. 

At the end of the day. She was never meant to live after that day. Every breath is something she had stolen - been blessed with. The minimum she could do is spend the days gifted to her to help Kira and his cause, and save others like herself. Be a voice for the voiceless, and punish those who deserve it. Disgusting creatures that do nothing but harm that the system protects. She knew the types, she had lost count of how many she had met in just her industry. Each and every one a vile creature, abusing their power, untouchable. Until now. She had been given a blessing, and she would not ruin her chance to create a better and safer world, with the guidance of Kira. She would be his eyes. Her life had been given new meaning, and she would not throw it away for anything. 

She did not care how long she would be strapped to this thing. She would not care how much they would try to break her. How the leather against her scar rubbed it raw, an unbearable hot pain, just like it had been that day. The way her legs ached and knees buckled. How the straps dug tightly into her. How the metal plate over her eyes would dig into the skin of her face if she would dare move. The drugs they would give her to try and make her more susceptible to confessing. The lies they would say to her, that Kira had confessed to his crimes, or that they know it is only her. If Kira were to pin it all on her, for his own escape, she would not protest. If he willed it, she would accept it, Kira was her light, her god, her hero, and she, his most devoted follower. She knew they were lying. There was no doubt that if they truly had all the information they did she would have already been put to death. 

She had appreciated Rem being by her side almost the entire time of her confinement. She wished she could talk to her, for the brief moments when her gag would be removed, she always had to fight the urge to tell Rem thank you, or to not worry about her. Even with the blindfold, she could always sense the Death God. A comforting cool chill in the air, not one that would leave goose bumps, or a wave of dread, the kind of comfort that Misa had read about in cheesy novels when she was younger, the inviting and comforting presence of death. She wished she felt that presence when she had been confronted. Rem seemed to always have their air of concern around Misa, asking her if she wanted her to kill the task force, to do whatever it took to get her out. She wished she could still Rem to trust her. Rem’s voice, while monotone at times, did seem to have an edge to it when she would hear the threat of death over the speakers. Rem would never understand it, how this small, fragile mortal would stand, unafraid and unphased by the threat of death. Rem and L had that in common, neither understood it about Misa, L would assume it was some symptom of suicidality, Rem would assume it was foolishness. Quite simply, Misa was not scared of Death. Threatening it against her would simply do nothing. Misa Amane already knew she was living on borrowed time. 

And perhaps that is why Light’s plan to protect them worked. To hide that they were the owners of their notebooks. Revoking ownership. He was not fully sure what it would do to Misa’s memories, her feelings would remain, but all memories for both of them that had anything to do with the Death Note would be forgotten. Perhaps, that was why when Light officially revoked ownership, Misa's calm demeanour had changed to something more panicked. Not because of guilt, but a panic that she was back in that dark place, another crazed fan that had found her. Perhaps it was why she had tried to fawn her way out, and try to appease her ‘kidnapper’ in hopes they would not do the same to her as that man had (“Please, I’ll let you take pictures or whatever, we can exchange numbers and hangout, wouldn’t you rather talk to me face to face?”). Then when she had been pressed about Kira, she had not wavered, she didn’t know him but she admired him deeply.  

“What about Light Yagami?” the cold muffled voice came through the speaker. 

Her heart sank, was this a crazed fan that had seen her interact with another man and all of this was just an act of jealousy? “Wh-what? I already told you, I bumped into him and (Y/N) in the street, I didn’t even know his name until she introduced me, I swear it didn’t mean anything,” a tear fell down her cheek, “please don’t hurt me, I promise, I promise I won’t tell anyone, not a soul.”

It seemed as though they had hit a wall, neither one of them were budging, and it seemed that the isolation had finally started to have psychological effects on Misa Amane. That was when L had created his new plan. One final test. Soichiro had been tasked to take the two to a secluded spot and threaten to kill the both of them. The intention, according to L: if either of them were Kira, the threat of either of them dying would be enough for them to use their abilities to kill Soichiro. And, of course, with their memories of the Death Note gone, no one died. Test successful.

Chapter Text

In any other work scenario, you would cheerily say that you had joined the Task Force at the perfect time. Within the first two weeks, Light and Misa had been released and the Headquarters had been moved into a new building, a ‘special facility’ unit that Ryuga (you had to keep reminding yourself to use that name) had built as they investigated. Ryuga had expressed that his intention was for the facility to be used as their homebase, a place for them to live so their lives could be dedicated to the investigation. This meant that you too had to tell Mrs Yagami the story of finding a place to rent and move into, as a way to ‘gain independence’. The Task Force had been given the ultimatum that if they did not wish to commit to living in the facility it would be best for them to leave. Aizawa, an officer that you had met briefly on your occasional visits to the station had pulled out, needing to support his family and prioritise them over the case. While had been a shared disappointment when he left, everyone (perhaps excluding Ryuga) understood his reasons. For a brief moment, it had felt as though everything would return to some type of normalcy. 

That had been until Ryuga decided to handcuff himself to Light, only allowing them to move a maximum of six feet away from each other. In his words, it was to keep an eye on Light. You had found the act strange at best, and you weren’t sure what at worst. It had made your reuniting with Light more mixed. You felt this looming pressure to behave in a more professional manner, especially with a certain frail detective over your shoulder. It also seemed that Light had not yet, or did not want to yet have his father know that the two of you were as close as you were. Which, you understood, you had lived in their house.

Ryuga had not been lying when he said he would be able to provide you somewhere to study. You had pondered where in the old office space you were meant to be doing your research, but in his new building, totalling twenty three floors above ground and two below, there was no doubting that he had the resources available. He had shown you the library he had included, where you would most likely find yourself spending most of your time. He had been sure to warn everyone about the cameras. Every floor, every room, every angle? You couldn’t recall his exact wording. You just knew that when you caught a glimpse of the security room that nothing would be hidden. How comforting. The idea that you could be seen in your room made you shudder. You knew that all precautions had to be made, but surely there had to be a point where privacy became an issue? You tried to not linger too much on the thought. 

Otherwise, it seemed as though the team had been finding their own flow in working again. It also seemed that whatever heavy weight that had been lingering on shoulders had finally lifted. Even Matsuda seemed in higher spirits, his circles lighter than what they had been two weeks ago. An element you had never predicted was the aloofness of Misa Amane. A clear opposite of everyone else’s serious nature. You had to admit, you had found it hard to not want to hang around the idol, especially when she was always so kind and welcoming. While Ryuga admitted that he is not fully convinced she was not the second Kira at some point, he was far more relaxed on her than he was Light. Misa had been permitted to leave the Task Force building in order to take part in her idol commitments, potential roles in j-dramas and you thought you had heard her mention something about a potential movie deal. This, of course, was only agreed upon as long as she had a chaperone, to which Matsuda had been volunteered, He had only seemed too excited, it seemed the team thought it was for some fan related reason, but you suspected it had more to do with the fact that he would now be allowed outside a lot more. 

You had struggled not to giggle when Misa had jumped up in excitement on the couch in her room, after a call. Her smile wide and bright as she squealed down at you when she flipped her cell closed, “Oh my gosh I can’t believe it! It’s all coming together!”

You smiled up at her, although, slightly confused, you were honestly surprised at just how quickly she had perked up after being locked on the hand truck for so long, as though it had never happened, “what happened?”

“That was Nishinaka, guess who’s starring in his newest feature!” she flicked her hair over her shoulder as she pulled a dramatic pose, she plopped back down on the plush lounge with a squeal that caused you to bounce up, “first I win first place in Eighteen magazine and now this! And! (she added excitedly) My single is still doing so well! It’s been weeks and it’s still in the top ten!”

“Wow that's - I don’t even know where to start!”

“I know!” she squealed, “oh my gosh I need to text my friends in the US - oh wait will they still be asleep?”

A cold, monotone voice cut off her giddy rambles, “Can you please stop yelling so much Miss Amane, I think I am going to get a headache.”

“If you don’t want to hear it, then you should leave,” she crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Where Light is I go,” he lifted his hand, the silver chain of the handcuff dangled and snaked its way along the couch to Light, who had been sat across from the two girls. His head rested in his hand, elbow propped on the arm of the chair as he watched the two women. He hadn’t spoken much while he was there, it was almost easy to forget he was there. You almost felt guilty, a part of you sure that he may have been there simply to spend more time with you, unable to leave his chains. 

“I’m sorry Ryuga,” you had said before realising it. 

“You have no need to apologise, you are not the one sending me on the path towards a migraine,” he said dryly, he glanced between each of you. Misa had rolled her eyes and had returned her attention to her phone, he had seen you flick a quick glance towards Light before your eyes fell again, “perhaps it is I that should be apologising, I doubt this is how you wished to spend your time with your boyfriend now that he’s finally released.”

Your eyes widened as your heart sank, you gaze snapped to his, words caught in your throat, “Ryuga what-”

“No, no need to reassure me, I’m sure it’s put quite the burden on the both of you.” he raised his hand dismissively. 

Your eyes narrowed slightly as he spoke, the tone. He was trying to elicit a reaction from you. Unfortunately, it seemed to work on Light.

“Ryuga,” he started, “I’m sorry but that is wildly inappropriate. (Y/N) and I have been close friends for years but that does not mean you need to make her uncomfortable, I understand you’re trying to get me to react but I would rather you not drag her into it.”

It seemed that Ryuga wanted to continue but the young idol had cut him off before he had the chance to speak, “Oh my gosh, I need to pick an outfit for my meeting tomorrow!” she beamed and grabbed your hand, you had no time to protest before she had pulled you out the door. The moment the door had closed behind her, the skip in her step had left and a frustrated sigh escaped her as she let go of your hand.

“That Ryuga,” Misa shook her head, her body shuddering with annoyance, “what is he even trying to get at?”

You had been taken aback slightly at her attitude change, you hadn’t realised that Ryuga had upset her. Not until you saw her jaw clenched as she walked down the hall with you,“I’m not sure it was all that -”

“Do not dismiss it,” she held her finger up at you, “(Y/N), I am around people who do nothing but play these silly mind games. What he said may have just seemed like no big deal, but he was trying to stir something up. That’s what people like him do, they do little things that for the outside eye seems like nothing, but it’s never just that.”

You hadn’t been sure what to say. You had thought the same. But to see Misa come to the same conclusion it had been … reassuring? You couldn’t be shocked that she noticed it, Misa was an idol, a celebrity, there was no doubt in your mind that she spent all her time having conversions with nothing but double meanings. 

***

The intimate voice of Julie London echoed through your room, your new room. It was much larger than your room at the Yagami’s, and larger than the room at your parents. It seemed Ryuga had known more about you than you had originally thought, your room had been decorated with many plants, and had been on a side of the building that meant you got a lot of natural light. A bookcase embedded in the wall, filled with a wide variety of research books, the majority seemed to be regarding criminal law, contract law, foundations, books you remembered being on your university list. Despite being designed by someone who you did on a level believe was detached, it did feel homely. Moving in had been a smooth process, you had been glad you could bring your things with you. You sat on the floor, legs crossed under you as you organised your CDs, the green cover of Julie London rested next to the CD player, the case no longer clicked together as well as the others from too much use, a guilty pleasure artist. You flicked through them to find your pride and joy, your Misa-Misa collection. You made sure to place them on display, covers facing out, Misa had been kind enough to sign them for you, drawing a little love heart on each one. You had been tempted to play one of the CDs but the looming threat of the chance that Misa could walk in had made you bashful. Displaying them had been the next best option. 

That distraction had only lasted so long until you had finally sat yourself at your desk, you needed to prepare for your meeting with L - Ryuga, you corrected yourself. A little agreement that had been made. He wanted to organise regular one-on-ones. You weren’t completely sure what to expect, but you knew that he wanted to discuss thoughts with you and where you were at with studies and the case. The idea was sound, but you still weren’t sure why it needed to be you. If he was as influential as he was, surely he already had connections to someone that was far more qualified, someone maybe even on his level, or Lights. Your pen tapped against your notebook, its tempo matched to the ticking of the clock. You had requested more information before you gave your thoughts, expecting that it would mean there would be a delay before your meeting. Instead, you had been gifted with a storage box of folders, copies of course,  along with a summary sheet for each one. Why you expected him to be unprepared you did not know. With a heavy sigh, you picked up one of the yellow binders: SECOND KIRA: VICTIMS AND BACKGROUND #003. The writing was dense, it had given you flashbacks of your criminal law textbook. You flicked through the pages, focusing more on the highlighted sections as you skim read. 

NAME: INOUE, Hinata

AGE: 44

DOB: 14 APR 1959 - 6 APR 2004

OCCUPATION: THERAPIST, Solace Counseling

DEATH: HEART ATTACK

CRIMINAL RECORD: 

• 21-MAR- 2002 - Sexual Misconduct - Not Guilty by Verdict - Tokyo, JPN. 

BACKGROUND:

Mr Inoue, previously worked at a private practice where he performed his role as therapist for 15 years. He was accused of misconduct by seven of his clients over the years. This only made it to court once, where he was found not guilty. 

NAME: KIMURA, Goro

AGE: 31

DOB: 30 MAY 1972 - 27 March 2004

OCCUPATION: LAWYER, Kimura & Kato Law Firm

DEATH: HEART ATTACK

CRIMINAL RECORD:

• 07-JAN- 1999 - Vehicular Manslaughter - Alternative Dispute Resolution - Tokyo, JPN.

• 07-JAN- 1999 - DUI with Suspended Licence - Fine - Tokyo, JPN.

• 07-JAN- 1999 - Driving Without a Valid Licence - Fine - Tokyo, JPN.

• 07-JAN- 1999 - Driving While Intoxicated - Fine - Tokyo, JPN.

• 07-JAN- 1999 - Reckless Driving - Withdrawn - Tokyo, JPN.

BACKGROUND:

Mr Kimura worked at his fathers firm before his death. His criminal record is extensive, most cases end with a dismissal or fine. The reports made on 7 JAN 1999, were related to an accident Mr Kimura had while drunk driving, he hit a woman who subsequently died in hospital after the crash. A settlement of an undisclosed amount was made outside of court under the guise that the charge of manslaughter would not appear in the court case. 

NAME: NAKAMURA, Yuta

AGE: 56

DOB: 03 JAN 1948 - 12 APR 2004

OCCUPATION: LECTURER, Vista University of Technology

DEATH: HEART ATTACK

CRIMINAL RECORD:

• 31-OCT- 1967 - Assault with a Deadly Weapon - Probation - Kanto, JPN.

• 17-JUL-1975 - Sexual Assault - Dismissed - Kanto, JPN. 

• 22 - OCT 1980 - Sexual Assault - Dismissed - Kanto, JPN. 

• 22 - OCT 1980 - Disorderly Conduct - Fine - Kanto, JPN.

BACKGROUND:

Mr Nakamura was still practising as a lecturer at the time of his death.  He had previously been accused of other sexual misconduct charges that were dropped before any official reporting could be made. He was also noted to be a donor to Vista University on numerous occasions.  

You pinched the bridge of your nose, your nail slightly dug into the skin as you shut your eyes, the words embedded in your mind. Both you and L had been correct. These killings did differ from the typical ones you would see from Kira when he had first started. Kira, while he also focused on the ‘typical’ criminal he also had a major focus on politicians, corrupt police, and any kind of figurehead. However, you couldn’t deny that perhaps Kira would eventually go for these types…you leaned back in your chair. This Kira focused on crimes that had a very particular type of target: wealthy men who had either a powerhouse behind them, or only had to write out a cheque. Men in power, who abused it. If you were to be stereotypical in any way, you would assume that this second Kira has been a victim of the Justice system. Which, if you were to focus purely on that, you were aware that Misa had one year ago witnessed the murder of her family during a home invasion. Her court case had been the centre of Japan's attention for months. The culprit. Kyu Nishida, had walked away not guilty after rumours spread that the defence used to their advantage that he was falsely accused, that it had been too dark for her to recognise the face, or that she was too traumatised, or too unreliable a witness. That, at the end of the day, she would just want to punish someone for what happened, even if it were the wrong person. This argument had created enough reasonable doubt that the jury had come back with their verdict after ten hours of deliberation. You recalled that she did not make another public appearance for two weeks after that. If you were to only look at that one factor. You understood why Ryuga came to the conclusion that he did. However, you’re not even sure why he picked Misa Amane, if she had never bumped into you and Light that day, perhaps he would have never considered her. Could she just be a victim of being at the wrong place, at the wrong time? Again? If you had focused more while you were walking, would the two of you walk past each other, never to meet again, never to be dragged into this mess? Would she have continued life as is, movie deals, and modelling gigs, not strapped against a hand truck for weeks, would she - 

Your thoughts had been abruptly interrupted when your phone vibrated on the desk. It made a horrible sharp rattling noise that made you jump. Bzzzrt! 

LIGHT 

Matsuda brought back cake from his walk, you should join. 

You stared at the text for a moment. A debate in your mind if you should work or play. 

LIGHT

Be down soon

Play was always more fun. You closed the files, and placed them back in the box. Your phone chimed once more. 

MATSU

Hey! Ryuga sent me out on an errand and I brought back sweets, they’re  in Misa’s room. Light and Ryuga are there as well - I told them to save a cupcake for you!

Thank you! You’re not joining us? :( 

Noo I have some work to catch up on, besides, if I eat sweets this late I won’t feel well ;-; 

You smiled when you had opened the door to Misa’s room, the cakes had been laid out on a small coffee table while everyone sat about out on the lounges. Misa had been stretched out on one lounge, her back resting against the arm of the lounge. Light had been sitting in the opposite seat next to Ryuga, who had his knees tucked close to his chest with his plate resting on the bend of his knees, his dark eyes stared intensely at the cherry on the top of his cake. 

“Oh finally, someone not boring!” Misa called out as she sat up, she patted the spot next to her for you to sit, the moment you had, she passed a plate to you, “Matsu told us to save you this, and trust me, I guarded it with my life.”

“I don’t doubt it,” you chuckled. 

“You wouldn’t believe it, Ryuga was apologising just now.”

You raised an eyebrow at the pair that sat across from you, Light exchanged a glance at you, shrugging his shoulders slightly before his eyes fixed on the darker haired man as he let out a heavy sigh, “yes, I was,” he poked his fork at his cake, “I realise in hindsight that perhaps my comments had been…unregulated, in truth, I have not been myself these past few days.”

The three of you were silent, each of you sharing a glance before he went on. 

“The fact of the matter is, I am rather depressed.”

His response had taken Light aback that he had almost stammered as he spoke, “Wait what?” 

Another, long, drawn out sigh, escaped the detective, “You see, the thing is, my entire investigation hanged on the fact that you, Light, were Kira, and that Misa Amane was the Second Kira. But it seems as though I made an error, and now, I simply do not know what direction I am meant to go. To think I made a mistake? It cannot be possible. In saying that, I still don’t trust you, hence these (he raised his wrist up, revealing the polished silver metal of the handcuff, he clicked his tongue). Seems my emotions are hanging in the balance.”

He had said it so dryly, that you found yourself holding back a snort. 

“You understand me,” he flicked his eyes at you. Did he just make a joke? “Anyway, now I need to consider all these other factors, like that maybe Kira can mind control people to act on his behalf, and in that way, he made you two act on his behalf which is what made me suspicious. Which seems like the only likely solution if you aren’t Kira, the ‘original Kira’.”

“Wait,” Light started, “are you saying that while we were ‘controlled’ that we were Kira in those moments?”

“Yes. I don’t think I was wrong. You two were Kira, but now, you are not. At the start of your confinement, all killings stopped, but then … after two weeks, criminals started dying again. Based on those facts, I have to conclude that Kira’s powers are able to be passed on.”

“That’s interesting,” Light placed his plate down on the coffee table, “but if you’re correct, then catching him is going to be impossible.”

Yet another, long sigh, “Yes. That’s why I am so emotionally unstable (you swore you saw the corner of his mouth quirk up for a flicker of a second as he continued in his dry tone). Chances are, if we catch Kira, his power will be passed on again, leaving the previous host with no memories of their crimes. Which makes it all so futile.”

There was silence among them for a moment before light spoke up, “Perhaps. But, we don’t know if your theory is correct yet, there is no use in becoming defeated so early. Come on, surely that is enough of a motivator.”

“Motivated?” That was the most elevated his voice had sounded the entire conversation, “absolutely not.” 

You were convinced that if Sato was in the room with you that she would be wheezing with laughter. Ryuga’s dry attitude would work like a charm on her. Perhaps she would finally meet her match. 

“It's rather hard to find any motivation for this work when it seems as though we are just going to be running in endless circles which will, at the very least, get us all killed.”

“Ryuga cut it out,” Light snapped, his jaw clenched as he glared at the shorter man, “you had these headquarters built and even brought us all here because you wanted to catch Kira, you even brought (Y/N) into it who had nothing to do with this and now you're saying you just want to quit?! What? Just because one theory was wrong? Because I'm not Kira?!”

“My goodness, your comprehension skills truly are up to par,” Ryuga, placed his plate down, “but I suppose you're right, I think the root of my unreasonableness is simply that, I wanted to be correct, and I am not satisfied that it is not you.”

“Are you seriously-”

“But of course,” he held up his hand to Light's face, a hush command, “my words are nothing but nonsensical emotions escaping me, which to drive my original point, I apologise for my words this morning.”

Another silence fell across the group until you finally spoke up, It's fine. I can understand that this must be all so stressful.”

“Hmm,” he mused before he took a bite of his cake, “besides (he said between chews), if anyone displayed behaviour that indicated romantic attachment (he chewed again), it'd be Matsuda.”

Chapter Text

“I know you had to find an alternative solution but was this the best compromise that you could come up with?”

“If you have anything better I am more than open to suggestions,” while Light’s comment was made to sound snarky, he was unable to hide the smile that spread across his face as he leaned his back against the door, his eyes focused on you. He had wanted to speak with you, but in his current predicament, he was never more than a few feet away from the detective. You could hear the metal chain scratch the bottom of the door as Light moved to cross his arms. 

“No, no, this is fine,” you raised your hands up in defense, a chuckle escaped you both as you stood there for a moment, you attempted to see if you could hear Ryuga through the door. With how obsessed he had been about Light’s movements, you wouldn’t be shocked if his head was pressed against the door to hear the conversation. Honestly, you had been more surprised that he had allowed Light to be in a room mostly by himself at all. 

“We haven’t really been able to talk since all of this started,” he admitted shamefully, his gaze flickered away for a moment, “I thought it would be good to at least attempt a moment al-”

He had paused when he heard the sound of a cell phone from beyond the door, he remained silent for a moment longer until he heard the distinct monotone sigh of Ryuga (“Yes? … what is it? … I see, yes I have time.”).

Light held back a laugh as he mouthed to you, ‘lucky me’., he shook his head slightly before he continued, “anyway, I just wanted to check in.” 

“That’s fair it has been … a lot,” you nodded slightly, “are you - are you okay? After everything?”

A heavy sigh left him as he stared off for a moment, something behind his eyes as he seemed to gather his thoughts, “I can’t pretend that it wasn’t a -” he paused again, “I am more glad that I am out and we can start working on the case.” 

You nodded slightly, you didn’t want to push it too much, if he didn’t wish to say everything, it was not your position to force it out of him. You could only hope that when he was ready, he would share, or at the very least, that he had some kind of outlet of his own to let it out. Although, a shadow of doubt flashed through your mind, if Ryuga would be around him at all times, there would be very little time or privacy to have such a moment, “It’ll be good to catch him and get you out of (you gestured to the silver chain) these.”

He chuckled slightly his non-cuffed hand reached out to hold yours, “Despite the situation we’re in, I am glad to see you, although, I can’t lie and say I don’t have mixed feelings about you being here, I’m not exactly sure if I agree with L - Ryuga’s decision to have you join,” he quickly corrected himself.

“I can’t lie and say that I don’t agree with you,” you admitted. You had opened your mouth as though to say more, but no words came to you. You didn’t know what to say to it all, an act that as of late was not new to you. 

“I also wanted to apologise.”

“For what?”

“I haven’t told my father about us, if i can defend myself, I haven’t exactly had the right moment.”

You weren’t sure what was the nicest way to say that his father not being aware was the very least of your worries, all things considered, “Oh - no you don’t need to apologise.”

“But I would like to tell him, soon, maybe when things calm down a bit?”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

He was silent for a moment, as though checking if he could still hear Ryuga on the phone (“...I do not understand why it is not optimal today…”), “I’m glad to know that we’re still together,” he chuckled slightly, “I was half expecting that you would have to shut me down. Especially after I said all that in front of Ryuga.”

You shook your head, “I understand, there hasn’t exactly been (you stopped yourself), a good time for it.”

“Thank you for -”
What was surely intended to be a heartfelt thanks or words of comfort, had been cut off from Ryuga banging his first on the door from the other side, the metal chains clanking against the wood, “Light, whatever is it, it needs to wait. Everyone is required for a meeting.”

A deep frustrated sigh escaped you as you turned your head to face him, a joke on the tip of your tongue; only to be interrupted by the chaste kiss on your cheek, followed by a sly smirk from Light as he gestured to the door. 

***

There were few things that annoyed Merrie more than being called at the crack of dawn for a job. At first she had ignored the shrilled ring of her mobile that rested on her nightstand, and had just rolled over in bed. It had only been by the third call that she had finally picked up, she had resisted the urge of insisting that someone better be dead for her to get a call at that hour. She had only been more pleased that she hadn’t made the comment when she heard the utterance of her codename ‘Wedy’ along with the voice of L on the other line - no doubt he would have made some type of comment and not let her let it go, especially as he had contacted her to work in an adjacent matter to Kira, she could hear his voice in her head (“would you suppose a few thousand is enough? Or shall I call you back when we hit five figures?”). Of course, not to her surprise, he had insisted that she would be needed as soon as possible, which would mean she would have to cut her trip in the US short. Something that she dreaded telling her sister. 

The pay will be good. The pay will be good. The pay will be - a mantra that she would repeat in her head when she had to break the news to her sister. She hated it. Her sister always had this look in her eye, that she was disappointed in her. She had always thought that the feeling of shame regarding her sister would fade as she got older. Yet, at twenty-nine, she found herself wanting to shrink away into nothing when she told her elder sister, Allison, that she would have to leave for a work commitment. 

“I thought you said you were on leave?” she had said in a flat tone, her jaw tightened slightly as she poured out a cup of coffee, one for herself, and one for Merrie. If a stranger were to glance their eyes over towards the scene, they would assume that Allison were on the verge of snapping, but Merrie knew her sister, and she knew that these were the tell tale signs that she was trying to hold back her upset, and if she knew that the moment she were alone, that she would run the water in her bathroom as she collected herself.

“In a sense, my work is complicated, we don't have ‘leave’ in the traditional sense,” she tried to wave off casually. Of course she would not be honest with her. That was what came with her line of work, you cannot just go and tell anyone that you were a professional cat burglar. Lest she either:

1. Wished to get caught.
2. Wished to put her sister in danger.

Even before her work with L. She never risked the chance of Allison finding out, and this case especially would be no different. Especially after she had read the brief notes sent to her about the case. There was no way she could allow that to leak into her private life. 

“You said you would be able to stay the month, we had plans, can’t you just-” Allison stopped herself when she saw the shake of Merrie’s head. A heavy sigh escaped her before she slid the coffee cup over, “do you at least know how long you’ll be?”

“If I’m lucky, just a few weeks,” she said, “but it’s always hard to say until we get into it, or who else will be on.”

“So does this mean you won't be back in time for your birthday?”

Ah shit.

“Ah, maybe not?” she winced. 

“Right.”

“Allie -”

“Please don’t I get it, I just -” she sighed in frustration, her hands cupped around her coffee, her head held now, her strawberry blonde hair fell from her bun, her face hidden behind it, “it’s fine.”

There was something she hated more than work calls early in the morning. Disappointing Allison. She would definitely need to pick up many gifts while she was away in Japan. While she wouldn’t be easily won over, it would at least help a tiny bit. The only saving grace she had was that she did not need to leave straight away. The sisters had two more days together before, not perfect, but it was something. She had been somewhat relieved that by the time she had left at the airport, the hug goodbye from her sister had not been the dismissive soft one that was the biggest indicator that she was still upset. Instead, Allison had held her tightly, almost taking Merrie’s breath away. The best kind. 

When she had landed in Japan, she had done as told and waited in the pick up bay. At this point she was accustomed to this routine, black car, pick up, briefing, official meeting where they would go over what exactly she would be needed for. She had been pleased that her initial payment had been sent almost the exact moment her foot stepped on Japanese soil. As should be expected from the world's greatest detective. She held a cigarette between her lips as she searched her bag for the lighter she had purchased once landed, she had almost growled in frustration as she heard the rattling of items in her bag. How was it she could lose it so early? She had just bought it. 

“Well, if it isn’t our own Cher,” she heard a voice call out. She had paused rummaging through her bag. There was no way, “aww c’mon, ignoring me is rude don’t you think?”

She glanced over her shoulder, and the growl she had initially held back, escaped her. Aiber. With that smug smirk on his face. No wonder L had been elusive on details, “Piss off,” she rolled her eyes, lighter finally in hand. 

“You know, most people would take it as a compliment,” he smiled as he made his way next to her. She did not resist the urge to roll her eyes. The moment the film ‘Clueless’ had come out, Aiber (she was unsure of his real name, and assumed that much like her, it was an alias), had been the first to make comparisons between her attire at the character Cher’s in the film; while at first she did not pay mind to these comments, she had only become more frustrated when he would imply that she too must be a ‘ditzy, immature, emotionally unstable blonde’ not those exact words, but after a couple years, it was clear he was not trying to be charming about her attire.

“Ooft, smoking already?” he chuckled, “don’t tell me you’re nervous?”

“No, I’m hoping perhaps it’ll cut my time short, less time with you,” she said in a flat tone as she stared out in front of her. 

A laugh that was much too loud for her taste escaped him as he shook his head, “Ah, I do miss these talks of ours.”

“Truly? I find myself rejoicing the moment they are over.”

How could she forget the one thing she hated most above all: How much she hated working with Aiber. 

His quips had all but ceased by the time they had arrived, a more business appropriate attitude taking over the moment he had entered the doors. A part of her wished she could say the same for herself, but she saw no reason to, she was not exactly hired because of her charming personality - unless for lying. She had very quickly made herself at home, and had only been too pleased to know that she would not spend the majority of her time in some random hotel, but rather, while working she would be able to stay in the main building. 

She had also been pleased that it looked as though the task force had already had a lead, ‘Matsui’ as she assumed was his alias, had found a lead for a company called Yotsuba. Before Wedy - as she had to get back into the habit of reminding herself to refer to herself as even in private - had not even had the chance to ask what Yotsuba was before another had chimed in. 

“Wait I know Yotsuba, Sato works there - uh, sorry go on-” by how quickly she had covered her tracks after she spoke and awkwardness after the fact, there was no denial in Wedy’s mind that this had to at minimum be a freshman in university. Nineteen maybe? And judging by the equally young man and woman (she had done a double take upon realising the blonde was a major celebrity, that would be something she would have to drink about later) that sat beside her, it seemed L had kept to old habits in hiring the young; and against her better judgement, she found herself wanting to step in. 

“Sato? Is this someone we should keep an eye on?” she asked. She remembered when she had been the rookie, the only woman in a team, and while at her current age, she had no issue in speaking her mind whenever it pleased her, she remembered when she couldn’t and would backtrack what she had to say. The least she could do is at least uplift another voice while she was there, like what she had once wished for, “do we need to remove her?”

“Uh-” the girl hesitated. It occurred to Wedy now, that she had not gotten her name. 

As though he had read her mind, L (Ryuga? Was she meant to obey that rule?) had spoken, “Hifumi, what is Sato’s position within Yotsuba?”

“I don’t know the exact title, but she works as a financial assistant or something for one of the directors,” the young woman, Hifumi , spoke up, she seemed slightly more confident in her voice. 

L had paused for a brief moment as he thought, “No we cannot do anything, to adjust something as drastic as moving someone quite high up in the business away, could lead to suspicion,” he mused, although it seemed mostly to himself, “We’ll see if there is anything we can do to avoid harm to those that are not involved, but it is imperative that we do not give away any sort of indicator that they are under suspicion. Hifumi, this means under no circumstance should you even imply to this woman that she should leave.”

Hifumi seemed conflicted with the order, but had simply nodded as she listened on. 

To Wedy’s enjoyment. The mission was simple. In short: bug the joint; cars, building, the lot. Perhaps it would be possible to think that she would be home in time for her birthday and be able to spend it with Allison. She had struggled to truly pay attention to the remainder of the meeting after she had been informed of what her duties would be. She had glanced up from her phone once when she noticed the task force seemed to relax as they acted more like themselves, Hifumi scolding Matsui for almost hurting himself when he had faked his death - Wedy had later regretted not paying attention to this particular story as it seemed to be the most interesting point of conversation. Matsui had flushed a deep shade of red from embarrassment at the mere mention of this act (“Oh please don’t look at me like that, I had no idea what I was doing I just wanted it to be over!”).

The final iteration of the plan had something about the idol (Misa, that’s her name! She was sure her niece was a fan), would infiltrate Yotsuba under the promise that she wished to partner with them for an ad campaign, she seemed sure that she could use her acting skills to look unassuming and perhaps gather information on the group.