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Flying Away From Your Problems

Summary:

Billy swung his legs off the side of the top bunk and jumped down, too lazy to use the ladder as usual. Freddy tried not to let the action sting, but he found himself wishing he could do it too.
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A closer look at Freddy's condition and relationship with chronic pain.
[UPDATE: now a multi-chapter fic that I will be adding to]

Notes:

This is inspired by my own struggle with chronic fatigue. However I don't have chronic pain, so if I've misrepresented your experience I sincerely apologize. Its probably a little ooc as I inserted a lot of my personality into them, but no one else was really writing about Freddy's chronic illness so I had to deliver haha. Please comment with your own experiences with chronic illness if you feel comfortable!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Freddy woke up to a dull pounding in his hip and absolute screaming pain from his knee. This wasn't entirely new, his leg had been acting up all week, the temperature changing always annoyed his scarred joints. Freddy took a deep breath and accepted the kind of day it was already going to be.

Slowly, he sat upright and swung his good leg off the bed, the other one to carefully follow.  He grabbed his crutch from its usual spot against his bed post and attempted to stand, only to crash back down on the bed with a thump. The pain was unbearable, his leg instantly crumbling beneath him as if it was made of jelly.

He tried to stifle the pained cry he let out but the bed above him shook, he woke Billy up.

"Freddy?" He could still hear the sleep in Billy's voice. "You ok, dude?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm good. No worries" Freddy quickly prayed to the universe that Billy would listen to him and go back to sleep, but he wasn't so lucky. Billy swung his own legs off the side of the top bunk and jumped down, too lazy to use the ladder as usual. Freddy tried not to let the action sting, but he found himself wishing he could do it too.
Billy yawned and picked up some clothes off the floor to wear to school, unaware of Freddy’s struggle.

Freddy sighed and figured he'd have to get out of bed at some point. He brought his crutch under himself again and tried to stand. But with Freddy's luck, it didn’t work, and he crumpled to the floor the second he put any weight at all on his bad leg.

"Fuck!"

If Billy wasn’t already entirely awake, now he definitely was. He immediately rushed to Freddy's side to help him off the floor.

"Holy shit, what's wrong?"

Freddy didn’t accept the hand that Billy had reached out. He knew deep down today would be even worse that he originally thought. He relaxed back on the floor and sighed, he wished he could just stay where he was. He could stay there all day if he really wanted to, but Billy was staring at him with huge concerned eyes.

"It’s gonna be a bad day." Freddy sat up and gently massaged his knee, hoping the thundering pain would calm on it's own.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, my leg feels like it’s actively inside of a woodchipper right now."

"Oh." Billy clearly didn’t know what to say, he was still new to Freddy's condition and probably new to chronic illness in general. Billy sat there in silence, gears turning in his mind, and staring at Freddy for a cue.

Freddy didn’t blame him for not knowing what to do, he wouldn’t have known himself a few years ago.

But, Freddy knew what kind of day it was, even if he wasn’t ready to admit it to himself.

"I need to you get the wheelchair out of the hall closet, I'm gonna need it today."

"Wheelchair?" Billy faltered for only a second before jumping up. "Yeah, Yeah of course!"

It had been so long since Freddy had needed his chair that they stored it away in the closet months ago. A part of Freddy at the time believed he might have been getting better, that maybe he'd never need it again.

Every now and then he was still a little optimistic, oops.

After a lot of rustling and clanging in the hallway, Billy came running back in, pushing his wheelchair. It was a pretty nice chair to be fair; it was a charity donation from an organization for foster kids, and Darla had covered some of the bars in superhero stickers.

Freddy hated it.

"Great, just great ." Freddy carefully scooted himself back to the bed and pulled himself up to sit on the edge "This is exactly what I need today," He took a moment to catch his breath from the exertion "A big Spanish test that I have not studied for, I'm on dishes duty tonight, and now. This. Fun."

Freddy huffed and pulled the chair closer to the bed so that he could transfer.

"Can I help?" Billy finally speaks up.

"Not unless you suddenly develop a power to cut off my dumb leg." He spit out his words like venom, Billy tried not to take it as an insult.

"I don’t see how that would help this situation."

Freddy ignored his response and quickly transferred himself over the wheelchair. He let out a groan as it jostled his leg, and decided he needed painkillers asap. "I wonder if I cut it off, if my alter ego would also lose his..." 

It wasn’t really a question, so Billy didn’t answer.

A few awkward minutes later after changing clothes and taking some ibuprofen, they heard Mary call from downstairs that breakfast was ready. Freddy rolled himself to the top of the stairs, Billy lugging both of their backpacks. "Do you need help down the stairs?"

"Nah, I can just transform now and fly down, duh."

Billy stopped him with a hand on Freddy shoulder. "Are you an idiot? Do you want Victor and Rosa to know?!"

"1- we've established that I'm an idiot a long time ago, 2- No, dipshit, they won’t find out, I'll transform back at the bottom of the stairs like nothing ever happened."

"So you think they won’t notice the lightning, the noise, or the lights. Let alone that you managed to get downstairs in half a second without even your crutch?"

Freddy frowned but was too tired to fight him on it, plus Billy was right, not that he'd admit it out loud. "I'll just carry you." Billy started putting down their backpacks, getting ready to pick him up.

"Whoa there Prince Charming, while I appreciate it, you're just gonna drop me unless you transform too. Take the chair downstairs. I'll do it the old fashioned way."

Billy discovered that the old fashioned way was scooting on his butt down each stair, slowly. On every step he let out a painful sound that hurt Billy just listen to. However by the bottom, Billy was beginning to question the motive of the cries, because Freddy was staring at him with a pointed guilting look each time.

 

School was easier, thankfully, Freddy had been to school in his chair before so no one else but Billy was particularly surprised. Mary pushed him to class, Darla talked to distract him from his pain, and Billy carried his backpack all day. They did everything they could to help him get through the day but it wasn’t really helping. Freddy obviously appreciated all of it, he loved them, of course he did. But his siblings couldn't fix what was actually wrong.

Freddy felt so heavy, so gross. He felt stuck and frustrated and exhausted and just.... heavy.

He spent the rest of the day in a funk, acting much quieter than usual. His siblings knew not to ask about it, they knew exactly what was wrong. But Freddy had some battles that they just couldn't fight for him. No matter how much they wish they could.

As soon as school let out, Freddy wheeled himself down the block, Billy close behind him with their bags. They had recently begun patrolling the city after school together. Nothing as spectacular as seven actual demons from hell, but a few muggings here and there kept them busy.

The second they were out of sight of any wandering eyes, they transformed.

"Shazam!"

Freddy jumped out of his chair and flew up several stories high, relishing in the freedom of his superpowers. In this form there was no pain, no weakness, and most importantly, no heavy feeling. Freddy was free and weightless in the sky. Here he was lighter than a feather, and in complete control of everything, unlike his other body.

Billy flew up to meet him. "Better?"

"Much better." Freddy smiled. "now let's go beat some bad guys up."

Billy laughed and they took off, deeper into the city.

 


This continued for days, Freddy pain wasn't letting up, and he took every possible second to be in his other form as possible. Right after school he'd transform and go patrolling, even if no one else wanted to go with him. Any possible second that Victor and Rosa weren't home, Freddy would prefer to walk around the house as his alter ego instead. He avoided any spare minute of pain he possibly could, and his siblings had no idea how to help him.

Until he didn't come home one night.

Billy was covering for him with Victor, saying Freddy was at a study group all evening. Victor definitely didn't believe it, but didn’t question him either. When it got to be almost eleven at night, Billy resigned himself to go look for his brother.  Freddy was being far too careless with their secret, and Billy was running out of excuses.

Billy flew up high over Philly, searching for his brother. He found himself wishing once again that he had super hearing to locate Freddy with. Billy spent nearly an hour flying around before he found Freddy sitting on ledge of a skyscraper, a gas station slushie in hand. Billy silently flew down and sat next to Freddy, and took a sip of the drink that Freddy offered.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Billy asked, not sure which answer he actually wanted.

"Surprisingly, not really." Freddy said.

Billy sighed, apparently he was actually the one that wanted to talk this time. If Freddy weren't so unlike himself right then, he'd be mocking Billly endlessly. "You gotta come home dude, I'm running out of excuses with Victor."

Freddy looked apologetic "Sorry, no. Just leave it alone, I'll meet you at school tomorrow."

"Are you kidding me?" Billy laughed out loud. "That's your plan?"

"Well I can't go home looking like this without ruining your secret too!" Freddy burst, then took breath before continuing quieter, this time. "And I'm sure hell not living in that other body one more minute. So, I'm just gonna stay right here, thanks."

It got quiet and they listened to the sounds of the city below them. Freddy stared out at the buildings across the street and Billy wondered where the boy he met on that first night went. The boy that cracked jokes about his illness, and wasn’t afraid to step up to the bullies at school.

"You don't understand, and I'm glad you don't, 'cause this shit sucks and I don't want you to have go through it too. But I just want to stay like this, forever."
"I know, man. But you have a whole other life that you're ignoring. Rosa's worried. Darla said you were going to help her with her history project on supers last night, and you weren't there. You fell asleep at lunch the day before that! Not to mention... I miss you." Billy laughs, "I had to play Fortnite with Eugene the other day! And it wasn't the same, dude."

Freddy laughs and rubs his face with his sleeve. "Sorry, I know. Of course I care about those things too, I just thought that I'd wait for this wave of pain to be gone in maybe a few days, or so..."

"I know you're the expert on your own condition and everything, but won't another wave of pain just come later, after this one clears up? Are we gonna use the same excuses then? Are you gonna give the same apologies?"

Freddy went silent, no one in his family had ever spoken to him so honestly before. He'd always been coddled. People see his cane and send him the most pitying looks. They carry his books for him or rush out of the way of his chair. But no one has ever called Freddy out on his habits like this.

What would he do next time? Is he really the kind of person to literally run away from his pain?  Freddy sighed, "Let's go home, I owe Darla an apology."

"Yeah, I think you do." Billy laughed, as they began their flight home.

"And Billy? Thanks, uh, for everything. I wouldn’t even have this escape without you."