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Chapter Text

(MIT, 1984)

James Rhodes somehow managed to be the only one in his dorm who didn’t have a room mate and he guarded the privilege jealously–whiting out his name and room number on sign up sheets when new students enrolled, making sure if anyone did peek their head into his room, the top bunk was rumpled and looked slept in and the second desk was filled with papers. 

He had managed to not be assigned a room mate, had no intention of getting a room mate and in no way, shape or form did he ever even consider having the mouthy teenager who was new to the hall as his room mate. 

But here he was anyway, manhandling a doe eyed, red cheeked, halfway drunk fifteen year old down the hallway and into his room, shoving aside his own things to make room for an astonishing amount of clothing and bags of accessories. 

“You sleep here now.” he informed the kid, who blinked up at him from huge brown eyes with a mixture of awe and annoyance. “And if that guy even looks at you again, I’m going to break his neck and then call your parents and get you sent to a convent, you hear?” 

“Okay, I don’t know who you are?” Christ the kid really was drunk. “But I could have handled it. I’m just a kid, he wasn’t going to do anything bad. He probably loved me.” he dissolved into giggles. “Can you imagine? He thought saying he could love me would convince me!”

“You are just a kid and trust me, you don’t need that sort of love.” James started to put him on the bottom bunk, then changed his mind and cleared off the top bunk instead, half helping and half shoving the teenager up the ladder. “But this is college and you weigh fourteen pounds and are at least five years too young to be drinking and definitely too young to be messing around with the biggest guy in the dorm. Get up there and sleep it off and we’ll talk in the morning.” 

“My name’s Tony Stark.” the kid said, peering down from the top bunk, a mess of hair falling into his eyes. “But you can call me Tony.” 

“I know who you are.” James set about re organizing the room and remaking the bottom bunk so he could sleep there. “I’m James Rhodes.” 

“Can I call you Rhodey?” 

“No.” 

“Well…..” Tony dragged out the word before he lit up with a smile that could only be called devilish. “Can I call you Honeybear?” 

“Under no circumstances are you to call me Honeybear.” 

“Spoilsport.” 

“Brat.” 

****************

****************

(Spring) 

“Honeybear!” Tony kicked open the door to their room and James didn’t even bother turning around from his desk. “We entered a robot building competition!” 

“We?” James asked, grimacing only a little when Tony swooped in and smacked a loud, peppermint gum scented kiss on his cheek. “What do you mean we?” 

“I mean that we–” Tony wrestled something mechanical through the door. “–as roommates and bosom buddies–” something clanged into the foot of James’s bed and he knew just from the suddenly guilty silence that Tony had definitely damaged it. “–, we saw a flyer in the commons and entered it without thinking to ask if it was okay?” 

“Saying we isn’t going to make me just agree to this, Tony.” James kept working at his homework. “So what I think you mean is that you saw a flyer in the commons and you entered the contest without stopping to ask me if I had time to help.” 

“I don’t need help.” Tony sulked and James smirked at the sheer amount of petulance in his tone. “But you should help me anyway. What if I get hurt?” 

“Building a robot?” 

“Stranger things have happened!” Tony argued. “Besides, isn’t that what you’re here for? Keeping me out of trouble?” 

“What sort of trouble could you possibly get into by entering a robot contest?” 

“Oh please.” Tony huffed, stepping back into the hall to wrangle more supplies for his spontaneous project. “We both know I’m one bad lab experiment from becoming a super villain.” 

“God.” James rubbed at his eyes and gave up on his homework, spinning around in his chair and sighing. “Alright, show me what we’re doing.” 

“Yay.” Tony’s eyes sparkled, his smile so bright that James almost regretted not saying yes earlier. “I love when you say we.” 

“I know, I know.” James accepted another kiss at his cheek and then pushed his roomie away. “Because when I say we it means I’m an accomplice which means we will end up in jail together.” 

“That’s not the only reason!” Tony defended. “Not just the jail thing!”

“Just shut up and show me what we’re building.” 

“Spoilsport.” 

“Brat.” 

******************

******************

(Fall Break) 

“Rhodeyyyyyyyy—-.” Tony was drunk for the first time in months, slurring his words and tripping over his feet and James cursed when he tripped as well, losing his balance and sending them both stumbling into a wall. “Christ, Rhodey. Are you drunk too?” 

“No, Tones I’m not drunk.” James gritted his teeth and tried not to sound so angry. The last thing Tony needed after another school break brawl with his dad was his room mate being mad at him too. “Just worried about you is all. Every time you come back from break, you end up binge drinking for a couple days.”

“S’cuz my dad’s an asshole.” Tony mumbled and James privately agreed. “What else does he want from me? M’gonna graduate with my masters at nineteen. Isn’t that good enough?” 

“It’s more than good enough.” James assured him, fumbling with his keys to get their door open. “Don’t worry, Tones. Let’s just get you in bed and you can sleep it off and in the morning we can figure it out.” 

“Come to bed with me.” Tony said then and James froze for a second but the seventeen year old didn’t seem to notice. “You never come to bed with me. Everyone else will get in bed with me when I ask but you never do.” 

“Because you snore and you fart in your sleep.” James informed him over the pounding of his own heart and the way his mouth was suddenly dry. “And its worse when you’re drunk. So no way. You’re sleeping alone.” 

“But I don’t want to.” Tony whined, and when James tried to leverage him into bed, Tony grasped at his shirt and pulled hard enough that James nearly fell on top of him. 

“There.” Tony was the picture of smug satisfaction. “See how easy that was? Now just stay. Maybe take my pants off. I missed you over break, didn’t you miss me?” 

“Of course I did.” And James wasn’t lying, even as he extricated himself from his rather grabby friend, Tony wriggling and squirming and trying to keep him down on the pillows. “I always miss you on break, Tones. But you need to sleep and I need to–” 

Tony yanked him back down again and this time their mouths crashed together, Tony’s full lips liquor soft and warm, the kiss needy and insistent and James– damn it– James couldn’t stop the barest press back before pulling away. 

“Rhodey.” Tony touched his mouth in surprise. “Did you just kiss me?” 

“To be fair, you kissed me first.” James informed him, taking a few steps back so he wouldn’t lean down and do it again. “Which doesn’t count because you’re drunk as a skunk and that was the worst kiss of my life. What is that, blackberry schnapps?” 

“Blackberry schnapps are delicious.” Apparently suddenly exhausted, Tony made a half hearted attempt at unbuttoning his jeans so he was at least somewhat comfortable before closing his eyes. “You’re just boring. And by the way, that was a great kiss. You taste great. Ten out of ten would kiss you again. I’m pretty sure you’re the only person who actually loves me and that is totally okay.” 

“Just get some sleep, Tones.” Something strange and sort of terrifying caught in his throat and James tried unsuccessfully to clear it. “We’ll talk in the morning.” 

“You love me with the sort of love I need, right?” The words were slurring now, barely understandable. “Right? I need this sort of love.” 

“Sure, Tony.” James didn’t let himself linger, only climbed up into his bunk and forced his own eyes closed. “Good night.” 

*******************

Morning came and Tony was miserable, hugging the toilet and throwing up for several minutes and James waited patiently for him to be done, cleaning up the mess from the night before and getting a bottle of Gatorade and some ibuprofen. 

The shower turned on at some point and it was a full half an hour before the bathroom door opened and Tony peeked out at him sheepishly. 

“Wow.” James looked him over with a smirk. “You look gorgeous.” 

“Heya Rhodey.” Tony shuffled over to the bed and plopped down with a weary sigh. “I uh– I don’t remember a whole lot about last night. When did you come and get me from the commons?” 

“About three am.” James told him, and Tony winced. “Someone called and asked if I knew my boyfriend was back on campus and doing body shots off some cheerleader. Figured I should come and get you.” 

“Sorry.” Tony had the decency to turn red at least, picking at the threads of the towel around his waist. “About the body shots. And probably being gross drunk. And uh– about them thinking I was your boyfriend. I know you hate that.” 

James ignored the last part to ask, “So break was pretty bad?” and Tony nodded miserably, so James said the thing he should have said before fall break– “Tones, why don’t you come home with me next break? My ma loves you and my sisters somehow think you’re charming. You wouldn’t have to deal with Howard and maybe it would put a stop to the post-holiday binges?” 

“I–” Tony frowned. “You want to spend break with me?” 

“Yes.” 

“…why? I’m a disaster.” 

“Yeah.” James agreed, and then felt bad when Tony’s face fell, so he scooted over onto the bed and wrapped his arm around Tony’s shoulder. “But you’ve sort of been my disaster for two years now, so it’s fine.” 

Tony just sort of sniffled and leaned closer. “I’m sorry for kissing you last night.” 

“Oh.” James felt a twist of panic in his throat. “You remember that, huh?” 

“I remember you telling me it was the worst kiss of your life.” Tony’s fingers twitched like he wanted to reach for James’s hand, but fell away at the last second. “Sorry about that.” 

“It’s fine.” James lied told him. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“Was it a bad kiss because of my age?” Tony pressed and another bolt of panic when through him. “You always tell me I’m too young to mess around like I do. Was it bad because I’m seventeen or was it bad because it was me?” 

“Tony, I–” James muttered a curse. “It wasn’t bad at all. You were just drunk. It’s not like I could tell you it was a great kiss when you were drunk. Who knows what you might have done then.” 

“Stripped your pants off and tried to mount you.” Tony said seriously, so seriously he had to be joking and when James laughed, Tony laughed too. “Thanks for taking care of me, Honeybear.” 

“What did I tell you about that name?” 

“Oh fuck off, it’s been two years. You’re Honeybear whether you want to be or not. Spoilsport.” 

“Brat.”

“I’m wonderful.” 

You kind of are. 

****************

****************

(The Night Before Graduation)

“You ready for tomorrow?” James unwound Tony’s arms from his neck as he walked up the steps to their apartment. “Big day, Tones. Graduating with honors and a masters in four years? I’m real proud of you.” 

“I know you are.” Tony was grinning, laughing, his breath smelling like the expensive whiskey Jarvis had sent as a graduation present. “You’re going to come tomorrow, right?” 

“I wouldn’t miss it.” James said firmly. “Already got the afternoon and the whole next day off work so we can party it up and celebrate together.” 

“I’m glad you’re going to be there.” Tony’s eyes were soft, so soft in that way they only got when James had made him happy. “I know for a fact I wouldn’t be graduating if you hadn’t gotten me through school.” 

“Oh you’d be graduating.” James discarded his tie and hung his jacket up. “But only halfway sober and probably wearing a bathrobe with lipstick still smeared on the collar. At least this way, I’ll get you down the aisle looking presentable.” 

He turned around and startled when he realized Tony was right there in his space, closer than James had expected him. “Tones?” 

“I’m drunk.” Tony admitted and when James opened his mouth to agree, Tony continued, “But not very drunk. And it wasn’t blackberry schnapps this time so you can’t complain.” 

“Not blackberry–” James swallowed hard. “Tony–” 

“Tell me if this is as bad as the last one.” Tony said then, and in the next instant his lips were soft against James’s mouth, moving gently in a sweet press that had no business feeling so good, innocent and liquor lazy just like it had been two years previous, the first and only time James had allowed himself just a little bit, just the tiniest bit–

“Kiss me back.” Tony murmured and James did, dragging his fingers through all that ridiculous hair and tilting Tony’s head back to take control, tapping at Tony’s jaw and moaning in approval when the pretty brunette opened obediently, pliantly, the inside of his mouth whiskey warm and addicting and a thousand things James had felt guilty for imagining for so many years. 

“I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen.” Tony admitted when they parted, a flush high in his cheeks and hands tight at James’s side. “Rhodey, I’ve loved you since that first night when you basically yanked me out of my room and put me in yours and I’ve waited for you to love me–” 

Another kiss, just as drugging as the first one, their bodies melting together like they did this all the time and dimly, in some far corner of his mind, James wondered why they didn’t do this all the time. How had he known Tony for four years and this was the first time they’d kissed like this? It was so good, it was so good. 

Then Tony nipped at his bottom lip and the arousal that had been burning low in his core flashed forward with a roar, and James had Tony pinned up against the wall in the next second, his hands everywhere, grasping at Tony’s waist and smoothing down his sides and palming over that ridiculous butt and “oh-oh-oh” Tony stammered something beautiful when James squeezed at him. 

“I’ve been waiting for you to love me.” Tony sounded like he was laughing and James swallowed the sound with another hungry kiss. “Oh god, Rhodey. Every single time I got drunk I wondered if that was the night I could get you to do something about the way you looked at me and you never did but now–” 

He stopped when James did, his brow lowering in confusion when there was suddenly too much space between them, his skin stinging where Rhodey’s hands weren’t touching anymore. 

“Honeybear?” 

“Tony.” James had to put a hand over his mouth and drag in a few breaths to steady himself. “Go to bed.” 

“Um, what?” Tony tried to reach for him, but James stepped away and ouch– ouch that rejection felt like a physical slap and Tony recoiled from it. “Rhodey, what–” 

“You only kiss me when you’re drunk, Tony.” James said then, and it was heartbroken and maybe even a little angry. “You only kiss me when you’re drunk. Just like you did when you were sixteen, like you did on your seventeenth birthday, just like you did when you came home from break.” 

“Rhodey–” 

“You say you need this sort of love.” James wanted to cry and he hated that. “You say you want this sort of love, but you only ever kiss me when you’re drunk.” 

“Rhodey!” 

“Go to bed.” James straightened his shirt and couldn’t look Tony in the eye anymore. “We’ll talk in the morning.” 

*******************

They didn’t talk in the morning because Tony was already gone, and James went to the graduation anyway because Tony was his best friend and Tony laughed and cheered as they took pictures and at the end of the night, Tony pounded back three shots in a row then grabbed James close and kissed him for one long, awful moment before shoving away and wiping his mouth and running off to join the party and James didn’t hear from him for weeks after that. 

And then Tony started staying out for days at a time and their shared apartment was empty more often than not. 

And less than six months later, Tony was moving out into some high rise bachelor pad and when James dropped by with a present for his twentieth birthday, Tony was out of his mind on who knows what, bleary eyed and barely awake and James picked him up and carried him to bed and made sure there was water and Gatorade and ibuprofen and Tony opened his eyes long enough to say–

“I’m not drunk, don’t worry. I’m not going to kiss you.” 

“We’ll talk in the morning, Tony.” 

“No, we wont.” 

–and that was the last thing Tony said to him for a long time.

Chapter Text

(December 1991)

“Hello?” James stared at his phone screen for a good fifteen seconds before finally answering it. It had been a long day on base and a stressful evening and he’d been asleep for all of two hours and now his damn phone was ringing at one am? Who the hell calls someone at one am? “Hello?” 

“Will you accept the charges for a collect call from–” 

“Wait wait, what?” He sat up in bed and scrubbed at his eyes. “A collect call? Who the hell is calling me collect?” 

“…will you accept the charges for a collect call from–” 

“…um, it’s Tony.” The voice that came through the line was deeper than James remembered, hoarse and raspy and choking through the words. “Rhodey, it’s me.” 

“Tony?” James took a deep breath in, blew it out through his nose. “It’s one am, man. Why are you calling me?” 

“Rhodey.” The phone fuzzed out as if Tony had dropped it, and James caught a muttered curse before Tony came back on. “It’s my– it’s my parents. Can you– there was an accident–”

“Shit.” 

“I know it’s been a long time–” Tony was crying now, and James was already up and out of bed, fumbling around for socks and his pants, digging through his laundry for a mostly clean shirt. “– The police called me– Rhodey can you come? I don’t– I don’t have anyone else to call.” 

“Where are you, Tony?” James snatched his keys and ran out the door, barely taking time to lock it as he went. “Are you at the California house?” 

“New York.” 

“It’s going to take me a few hours, alright? Stay put and don’t–” James tried to gentle his tone. “Tony, don’t take anything alright?” 

“Don’t hang up.” 

“I won’t hang up.” 

******************

It had been a year and a half since James had been to the New York house, and he thought about knocking on the door or at least ringing the doorbell, but a steady parade of police officers were walking in and out so he just slipped in as well, ducking around anyone in his way and trying to get up the stairs. 

“Tones?” They’d been on the phone for the entire drive and Tony hadn’t said anything for most of it, but every few minutes he’d asked, “Rhodey?” and James had reminded him that he was there, that he was coming, that Tony just needed to hold on for another minute. 

“…Tony.” James stopped when he found Tony upstairs in Howard’s office, slumped in the oversized desk chair, staring down at what James had to assume was cocaine lined out on the beautiful surface. “Hey man, I– I made it.” 

“Hey.” Tony looked up and offered up a painful smile. “I thought you weren’t coming.” 

“I told you I would.” 

“Yeah, but if I were you, I wouldn’t have come.” Tony shrugged and went back to staring at the desk. “I wouldn’t have showed up to help my old room mate.” 

“You know damn well you’re more than just my old room mate.” James didn’t really know what to do with the drugs, so he avoided them all together and turned the chair so Tony was facing him, kneeling down on the floor and holding Tony’s limp hands tightly. “There’s no way in hell I wouldn’t be here if you needed me.” 

“God.” Tony swayed forward, pushed their foreheads together. “Rhodey. No one has ever loved me like you do.” 

“Tony–” 

“Stay with me.” Tony’s arms went around James’s neck, tears dripping off his cheeks and wetting his shirt. “Please stay with me. I can’t– I don’t want to–” he shook his head and held on tighter. “I don’t know what to do or–or how to deal with this. Stay with me.”  

Tony’s frame was too slight in James’s arms, his collarbone too pronounced and skin too pale as James carried him to bed and when Tony reached for him, James kicked off his shoes and slid under the blankets as well. 

“I can’t believe you actually came after I treated you so bad.” Tony mumbled, curling in James’s chest and starting to shiver. “You’re all I have left now. I’m sorry I pushed you away. Sorry I ruined it. We were so good and I ruined it. I’m sorry I–” 

“Hey, don’t do that.” James swallowed back a wash of grief, of regret. “You don’t have anything to be sorry, just hush now. In the morning things will seem– I don’t know how they’ll seem, but it can wait. We’ll talk in the morning.” 

“No listen. Rhodey, I’m sorry. I don’t have anyone now and I pushed you away and that was so stupid and–”

“Stop that.” James held him tighter. “None of that matters, Tones. You’re not just my old room mate, you’re my best friend. Not going to let a fight from years ago ruin it, alright? Stop it.” 

“No one’s ever loved me like you do, Rhodey. I need this sort of love.” 

“Shhh.” Rhodey lay a careful kiss on Tony’s forehead, knowing better than to put too much stock into Tony’s words, knowing it was coming from soul deep grief and loneliness and loss. “I’m here, Tony. We’ll talk in the morning when things are clearer, okay?” 

“You’ll stay?” 

“I’ll stay.”   

*******************

“I want you here more.” Tony said days later, over his first real meal in a long time, eating the noodles off his plate and starting on the rice on James’s plate as well. “I want you here all the time. I miss you.” 

“I can’t be here all the time.” James said patiently, too relieved to see Tony eating to fuss about the kid stealing all his food. “But I’ll be here when I can. When you need me. And I miss you too. But Tony?” 

He waited until Tony looked up, his heart squeezing over the uncertainty in Tony’s expression. “No more drugs.” 

“But–” 

“No more drugs.” he repeated. “You have terrible coping skills and they’ve only gotten worse since college. I’d never tell you how to grieve but I’m also not going to sit here and watch you kill yourself.” 

“No drugs.” Tony repeated after a minute. “You know I’ll have to find other terrible coping skills? Ill start gambling, serial dating, spending money recklessly. I will buy the biggest building in New York and put my name on it just to be obnoxious. I swear I will.” 

“Those are all fine.” James reached for Tony’s hand and Tony slumped in relief over the physical contact, his eyes falling shut and shoulders dropping. “No drugs.” 

“You’ll stay?” 

“I’ll stay.” 

*******************

*******************

(1997)

Tony Stark had the worst coping skills in the history of ever, but he hadn’t touched anything other than alcohol in six years and it was a point of personal pride that he could text Rhodey every December and announce another year clean. 

That personal victory aside, Tony spent every spare minute becoming the ultimate personification of billionaire playboy and the tabloids loved it. Talk show hosts had plenty to gossip about and entertainment programs always had a spot about whatever the hell the Stark boy was doing now, and the public ate it up so Tony kept the antics coming. 

He dated shockingly beautiful women–  super models and princesses from far off countries, up and coming movie stars and pop stars– and every time he was asked if he liked men as well, Tony only waggled his eyebrows and made a comment about having a type and set the rumours ablaze for another few weeks. 

The genius part took a little bit longer to come around, with Tony needing a few years before he felt ready to step into Howard’s shoes, but with the guiding help of Obadiah Stane, now Stark Industries was changing the world with their weapons, with their state of the art tech, with their genetically modified crops that were turning the tide against hunger and Tony had a wall full of awards for his achievements. 

Not that he cared of course. Awards were just trinkets and groupies were just entertainment and all the money was handed over to the board to handle as long as Tony had enough to spend as recklessly as he’d threatened all those years ago. 

He wasn’t fine, but he was coping and James was proud of him. 

“You made the headlines again.” James held up the newspaper as he sauntered into Tony’s garage, and the brunette popped up from beneath one of his cars with a big smile. 

“Honeybear!” 

“It’s been liked twelve years, Tones, let’s retire the nickname.” James groused, but he opened his arms when Tony wrapped him in a hug, holding his friend closer for longer than was strictly necessary, tighter than was strictly necessary and it was fine because Tony held him just as tight for just as long. 

They parted and Tony kissed his cheek, just like he did every time they saw each other and James squashed the urge to pull him back for a real one. 

They didn’t do that sort of thing very much anymore, not in years. Not since James had spent two weeks in New York after Maria and Howard had passed and on the last night Tony had gotten too drunk to even stand, pressing sloppy kisses to James’s mouth and clinging to him in bed because he needed– he needed– and James had kissed him back, over and over and over. 

But he had been careful not to let his hands wander, and he hadn’t let Tony’s hands wander and when the kisses had slowed, James had spooned Tony up tight to his chest and held him all night long and that had been that. 

Now it had been several years and only a few kisses since then, and they were best friends. 

Tony dragged him along to more parties and beaches than he could count, and James dragged him to church and baseball games and made sure he showed up at awards ceremonies. James was well on his way to being a Colonel and Stark Industries had already put in the request for him to be their official liason to the Air Force. 

James had given up keeping track of whichever beauty Tony was out with that week and Tony refused to give up on trying to get James dating. Birthdays involved trips back to Ma Rhodey’s house for comfort food and cheesy presents and holidays were split between the New York house and the monstrosity in Malibu Tony was so proud of. 

It wasn’t cramming for finals in college or scarfing down cold pizza in the middle of the night but it was fun and it was them and Tony was a disaster but he was James’s disaster and that’s all that mattered. 

“You’re coming to my birthday, right?” Tony tossed a greasy rag at James, and he batted it out of the air before it could stain his uniform. “I’m thinking Dubai this year.” 

“Dubai.” James repeated incredulously. “Tony, I can’t go to Dubai.” 

“And why the hell not?” 

“Because I have a job and a life and an intense fear of being with you in super tall buildings.” He said dryly and Tony cracked up laughing. “Yeah, remember Chicago? I’m not doing that again, and definitely not in a foreign country. Absolutely not.” 

“I’ll miss you, Rhodey.” Tony frowned a little. “But we’ll go home for pork chops when I get back, right?”

“As soon as I get a weekend free.” James promised, then stripped out of his jacket and lay it over the closest generally clean surface he could find. “Do you need some help with that engine?” 

“No, but you can watch a genius at work.” Tony snarked and James just grinned and joined him beneath the car. 

That night they shared a few beers and Tony finished his fourth and leaned over to kiss James as sweetly as he could, licking the taste of beer from his best friends lips and James kissed him right back, fitting his hand to the back of Tony’s neck for a long minute before starting to lean away. 

“Not yet, don’t let go yet.” Tony whispered, and then his tongue slid into James’s mouth and they both groaned, and James sifted his fingers through Tony’s hair to tug him closer, dragging the kiss out until they were both panting and it was time to stop.  

“You’ll stay?” Tony asked, brown eyes melting warm and mouth swollen. “You know where the guest bedroom is… unless you want to stay with me.” 

“I’ll see you in the morning, Tones.” James said and Tony nodded, because they never slept in the same bed after drinking and kissing and he hadn’t expected Rhodey to say yes. 

But he pressed close again before they went to bed, sighing when Rhodey’s hands landed at his waist and slid just an inch lower. 

“Rhodey–” 

“I expect you to have coffee waiting for me.” Was all James said and the kiss Tony gave him was soft and sweet and good night and he went to bed with a smile on his face. 

The tabloids and talk show hosts and bloggers all wondered if Tony Stark dated men and if he had a type but James never wondered. 

He never wondered at all.

********************

********************

(2000)

“You haven’t spent a birthday with me in three years.” Tony was upset, his jaw clenched and arms folded and his new assistant Ms. Potts looked distinctly uncomfortable with the entire exchange. “Three years, Rhodey. You worked through yours and we barely got a phone call and we missed Christmas–” 

“Your fault.” James interrupted. “Miss Switzerland–” 

“–Austria–” 

“–wanted to celebrate with her family.” Tony finished, and then grimaced. “Yeah, my bad on that one. But this is my thirtieth birthday.” 

“I’m a colonel now, Tones.” James tapped his uniform. “Full bird. I can’t fuck off to Vegas for an entire week because you’re turning thirty. Why don’t we do something together when you get back? I have some leave coming up in a few months we could go to–” 

“What if we go tonight?” Tony cut in, and James raised an eyebrow at the note of desperation in his friends voice. “I can take off a day early. The party doesn’t officially start until tomorrow night and you and I could fly in and get a suite tonight and just– just hang out. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other. I just want– can’t we just hang out?” 

He pointed to his new assistant. “Um, um um, it’s Potts, right? Ms. Potts? Can you make that happen? I need the jet and a suite for tonight on the strip.” 

“Absolutely Mr. Stark, I’ll get right on that.” the red head sent James a smile. “Colonel Rhodes?” 

James hesitated, but when Tony’s expression shuttered and fell away, he nodded. “I have paperwork to do on the jet, okay? Tony? I have to do some paperwork on the flight. But other than that, I’m good. You’re right, its been a long time since we hung out and I shouldn’t be missing your birthday.” 

“Okay.” Tony didn’t bother tempering his smile and James felt a flash of guilt over being so busy lately. Between his promotion and new responsibilities and Tony developing more patents than his research and development team could handle, they’d only managed dinner together twice in the last year, and only a handful of times in the year before that. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d crashed in the guestroom or the last time they had gotten drunk and kissed or–

“I’ll let you do paperwork.” Tony’s eyes were shining now and James felt that familiar twist in his stomach, the nervousness and anticipation for a night with Tony that he’d felt since– well since that first time he’d let himself kiss Tony, when Tony had tasted like blackberry schnapps and James had laughed off how badly the kiss had affected him. 

He’d been laughing that sort of thing off for fifteen years now and it hadn’t gotten any easier. 

“I’m serious, though.” was all he said, unable to stop his grin when Tony scrunched his nose in excitement. “Paperwork and then one night, Tones. Some of us have to work for a living.” 

“Boring.” Tony scoffed. “Just retire, Honeybear. I’ll be your sugardaddy. 

“My god there are some terrible things wrong with that sentence.” James said flatly and Tony laughed all over again. 

“Ms. Potts.” he inclined his head to the pretty assistant and she smiled back with a, “Honeybear.” and in the background Tony cackled loud enough to be heard even over the music. 

“Oh good.” James muttered. “I’m so glad that’s catching on.”

******************

******************

(Vegas)

James got his paperwork done and no more than a split second later Tony was pushing a drink into his hand and it was just the first of more than James could count as the night went on. 

Vegas had a hundred places to be and a thousand places to go and a hundred thousand people packed into all the spaces and Tony dragged James everywhere– strip clubs and bars and pool parties and into a movie theater for just a minute before he was bored and wanted to leave. They won and lost a stupid amount of money at a poker table and Tony bought a round of shots for an entire night club and at one point, picture evidence proved James had gotten up on a table and dance but he would deny it for the rest of his life. 

It was four am by the time James got them steered back towards the hotel and the elevator ride to the top floor was spent looking at pictures on the phone and already contemplating if room service would deliver to a penthouse and when the doors opened and they spilled out into the suite, Tony went right to the balcony to stare out at the city. 

“Here.” James passed him a candy bar and Tony tore into it with a moan that bordered on indecent, so James recorded it just to have something awkward to send Tony during his next board meeting. 

“Look at this.” Tony threw his arms out wide and accidentally flung the rest of the candy bar over the railing and James laughed until he cried. “Look at all of this! All these lights! There’s got to be a billion lights out here!” 

Then Tony tipped his head back to stare at the sky and the stars straining to compete with the Vegas spotlights and added, “Look at all the stars. I’ve always wanted to know all the stars, Rhodey. One day I’m going to fly into space and count them all and I want you to go with me.” 

James should have said something quippy just then about how it was adorable that Tony got all wishful when he was drunk, or at least said something half way intelligent about how the stars couldn’t be counted, or even something snarky about how he wouldn’t trust Tony not to tinker with the space shuttle and doom them all – he should have said something. 

Instead he thought that Tony’s eyes were bright enough to outshine the lights and outshine the stars and that he’d be content to count Tony’s lashes and the dusting of freckles he always pretended weren’t there. 

But James didn’t say that either. 

He reached for Tony though, hooked their fingers together and drew him in and Tony’s breath hitched just a little bit before their mouths met, his hands already coming up to grip at James’s biceps, their chests brushing as they moved closer and then closer again. 

“Well hey, happy birthday to me.” Tony grinned when they parted. “Thirty is looking great.” 

James smiled too, but he didn’t pull away and Tony was already moving in for another and this time James turned so he was leaning against the rail and Tony was leaning against him. 

“No, not yet, don’t let go yet.” he whispered when Tony started to back away and James had never said that, not in fifteen years of friendship, not in fifteen years of occasional kisses so Tony didn’t hesitate to come again for more and James gave it to him. 

They’d never done this, not like this, not together, not with James backing Tony towards the suite, towards the bedroom and Tony tearing at James’s shirt to get to skin. They’d never fallen into bed together when James hit the pillows first and Tony scrambled to straddle his thighs, their kisses full of teeth and tongue and moans and curses and fingers gripping tight enough to leave bruises. 

James had never thrown Tony’s belt across the room and Tony had never been so breathless at a first touch and when James ran his hands over Tony’s side and around to his rear and down the back of his legs, Tony arched his back and whispered please and he’d said that a lot in their fifteen years but he’d never said it like that. 

They were woefully unprepared– neither had planned even if both had always wanted but after waiting so long it was more than enough to use hands and mouths, for Tony to slick the inside of his thighs and cross his ankles and for James to lift Tony’s legs to his shoulder and fit his cock into the tight space. That way he could thrust into slick and warm and stroke Tony at the same time and it would have been easier and smoother if Tony hadn’t kept dragging him down for kiss after kiss after mind blanking, heart skipping, kiss but they didn’t care. 

They didn’t care. 

“Why did it take us this long to do this sort of thing?” Tony’s smile was lazy and loopy when James came back with a wash cloth to clean him up. “I need this sort of love, Rhodey. Fifteen years and no one has ever loved me like you.”

“Yeah well there’s a reason for that.” James gave himself only a cursory wipe down before snagging Tony right back into his arms and covering his mouth in a satisfied if not hesitant kiss. “Do we– do we need to talk about this, Tones? This was a big step, do we need to talk through some things?” 

“In the morning.” Tony had no shame, no shyness, pressing his naked body tight against his Rhodey and not caring that they were sticky and sweaty and had drank way too much. “We can talk in the morning.” 

“Suns gonna be up in a few hours.” James pointed out and Tony muttered a sleepy yet threatening, “If you wake me up to talk in a few hours I will kill you. Don’t you test me, Colonel.”

“Yeah, yeah.” James closed his eyes to try and get at least a little sleep, but just as he was drifting off, Tony whispered–

“What’s the reason no one loves me like you, Rhodey? You said there’s a reason, what’s the reason?” 

“Go to sleep or I will put you to sleep.” James wrestled them over in bed so Tony’s back was tucked to his chest. “We’ll talk in the morning.” 

“Sun’s gonna be up in a–” 

“Don’t test me, Tones. I’m a Colonel now.” 

******************

They slept until two in the afternoon and Tony woke up first, sprinting out of bed naked to get to the shower first, shouting about taking all the hot water while James lay in bed and laughed about it. 

There had been many a morning in college that Tony had in fact used all the hot water and had to deal with a petulant room mate for a full day, but those days were long over. James didn’t think high roller penthouse suites had a limit of hot water, so Tony could take as long a shower as he wanted. 

James was tempted to join him, so tempted to join him, but the sun was shining and the world was awake and the things done under the stars didn’t need to be pursued in the day, so he dragged on a pair of shorts and just waited. 

Tony’s eyes flickered maybe in disappointment, maybe in understanding when he finally got out of the shower, but he didn’t say anything and neither did James. 

And closer to dinner time when James absolutely had to go, Tony rode down in the elevator with him, reaching for his hand in about the shyest gesture James had ever seen, and it was so sweet and new it nearly made his heart ache. 

“Have a good birthday, Tones.” He murmured, brushing a kiss over Tony’s knuckles and watching a surprised blush spread over his friends face. “Sorry I can’t be here for more of it.” 

“I’m just glad you were here for this part.” Tony whispered. “Really glad.” 

Their hands fell apart and Tony took a step away when the elevator started to slow. 

They could already hear the murmur of voices outside in the lobby, no doubt piles of paparazzi and groupies and the hundred or so people Tony had invited to his nearly week long birthday party in Vegas and James knew it would be a long time before he heard from Tony at all, and even longer before he had a chance to have even a fraction of a moment like this again. 

So right before the elevator doors dinged and slid open, right before Tony reached for his sunglasses and pasted that signature smile on, James bent down and kissed him one last time, one soft press of lips and softer sigh and Tony blurted–

“Will you call me tomorrow?” 

“Will you be sober tomorrow?” 

“…yes?” 

“No you won’t.” James shook his head and grinned. “But I’ll call you anyway, alright? We’ll talk in the morning.” 

“I love you.” Tony said then, but the doors were opening and reporters were swarming and cameras were clicking and James’s reply was lost in the noise. 

Chapter Text

(December 2001)

“Tony.” James knocked on the wall so Tony would look up from his computer. “Hey, you got a minute?” 

“For the cutest platypus in the world?” Tony was obviously several hours past when he should have gone to bed, his eyes too bright and smile too big and fingers tapping in an anxious rhythm against his legs. “I always have a minute for you. More than a minute. How many minutes do you want, Colonel? You can have them all.” 

“Christ, when was the last time you slept?” James ignored the surge of warmth in his chest at Tony promising he could have all his minutes– sleep deprivation made men say crazy things, right?– and bent to put his hand on Tony’s forehead, feeling first for a fever, then sliding down to rest against his pulse to make sure his heart was beating steadily. 

“Stop that, I’m fine.” Tony batted his hand away, then shook his head and motioned him back in. “Actually, don’t stop it. Come here and do it again.” 

“He’s been like this for almost three days.” Ms. Potts spoke up from the corner, her lap piled high with paperwork, looking perfectly put together even though her smile was strained. “Everyone told me holidays with Mr. Stark were the hardest, but I didn’t know they meant hardest on him. He wasn’t this bad last year.” 

“No.” James couldn’t resist brushing his knuckles over Tony’s cheek, swallowing when Tony leaned into the touch and closed his eyes. “But this year is ten years since we lost his parents, so its worse than usual.” 

“Oh.” Pepper frowned and James knew Tony hadn’t told her yet. “Oh, I don’t know how I didn’t know that.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” he shook off her apology. “Tony doesn’t have anything set up in memoriam and when the city tried to do something for the anniversary of their passing, he actually threatened the mayor with physical harm. His exact words were ‘if you fucking force me to relive this every December, I might actually kill you’ and the mayor believed him.” 

“Poor Tony.” Pepper murmured. “Well, I’m sure he’s happy to see you? I didn’t know you were coming by or I would have had dinner or–” 

“Ms. Potts.” James smiled over at her. “I’ve never had to make an appointment to see Tony, and I’m not going to start now. I don’t expect you to have dinner waiting or have activities lined out, I’m not a client, I’m his best friend.” 

“Of course.” Pepper replied smoothly, and then probably just to ruffle his feathers– “I don’t know what I was thinking, Honeybear.” 

“Mmm. Glad that’s catching on.” James stepped closer when Tony started to sway in the chair. “I’ve got him now, why don’t you take off for the night or whatever it is you do?” 

“Thank you, I will.” Pepper gathered her various papers and purse and left as quietly as she could and the moment she was gone, James asked– 

“Tony?” 

“I haven’t taken anything.” Tony mumbled. “I promised you I wouldn’t do that anymore and I haven’t. Ten years clean, it’s something I should be proud of, huh?” 

“So just sleep deprived?” 

“Can’t close my eyes. Can’t shut it off. Don’t know what to do.” 

“Have you had anything to drink?” 

“No.” 

“Okay, here we go.” James lifted Tony right into his arms, huffing a little because Tony was not as light as he used to be. “We’re just going to lay down on the couch over here and get some sleep, alright?” 

“You’ll stay with me?” 

“Of course I will.” James put Tony down first and gathered a bunch of blankets. “And after you’ve slept some, I brought you an early Christmas present.” 

“Yay.” Tony made grabby hands at James and cuddled close the moment he was able. “What is it?” 

“I got us in as guest judges for the NASA Robotics building competition.” 

“You did what?!” Tony shrieked and James barely managed to grab him before he flailed right off the couch in near manic excitement. “You did WHAT? Rhodey! Are you serious!?” 

“The rules are–” James tucked Tony in a little more firmly. “You aren’t allowed to contribute to anyone’s project like you did when you judged for MIT and you aren’t allowed to throw out projects because the person building it is an asshole, like you also did at MIT. You have to be unbiased and fair and honestly, that’s why I’m going along with you. You get all worked up and ridiculous over robotics, I’ll be there to even you out.” 

“What do you mean I can’t contribute?” Tony whined, snuggling even closer until he was plastered into James’s body. “What if my idea will help them win?!” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“BUT–” 

“That’s the rules Tony.” 

“God, since you became a Colonel you’re literally no fun.” Tony groaned loudly, but the tension was already leaving his body, his frame settling as three days of overwhelming started to ease with his Rhodey there. “Spoilsport.” 

“Brat.” James said affectionately, running his hands in easy circles down Tony’s back and sides as he waited for their breathing to slow and sync up, for Tony’s hold at his shirt to loosen as he slid towards sleep. 

“It’s been a long time since Vegas.” Tony whispered, and James felt the sadness well up in his throat, the melancholy what if that struck him whenever he thought about Vegas and the phone call that had gone unanswered because Tony had been partying too hard. They hadn’t connected for weeks after that, James finally calling just to check in and Tony had been hilarious and upbeat and neither of them had said anything about what had happened there in the penthouse suite. 

The next kiss they shared was at Fourth of July, with fireworks exploding over the Malibu house and Tony had tasted like those awful red white and blue popsicles and a healthy amount of vodka and they hadn’t talked about Vegas then either. 

And life had moved on like it always did, Tony was busy and James was busy and the holidays were spent at Ma Rhodes house where alcohol wasn’t allowed and Tony had fallen asleep on the couch in the den like he’d done most Christmas’s since he was seventeen and they certainly didn’t talk about Vegas then, not at Ma Rhodes’s house. 

And New Years Eve wasn’t the time for a talk, right? Valentines Day was too romantic and awkward, Tony’s birthday had come and gone with a quick phone call because James was over seas with the Air Force, and James’s birthday had been a quiet affair where Ma made chili and cornbread and Tony had landed his private helicopter on the street to bring him the ugliest pair of pajamas in the history of ever and they had laughed and laughed… and not talked at all. 

“It’s been a long time since Vegas.” James said with a quiet sigh. “Are you going back for your birthday again this year?” 

“Nah. Thirty two doesn’t seem like as great a birthday as thirty did.” Tony’s voice dropped again, nearly asleep now. “And it’s not that fun without you….” 

“Hm.” James kissed Tony’s cheek very very gently, and settled in to the couch for however long Tony would need to sleep to recover. 

Their lives took different paths these days, alot more than they used to, and more and more often they went months without even talking, much less seeing each other and that was just how life was. 

They were close and then they weren’t, but they always came back around together and James brushed the messy curls back from Tony’s eyes and held him a little closer and just let himself be glad that they’d come back around for this moment. 

***************

***************

(2006)

From Tony: You’re in New York, right?

From Rhodey: Sure am, Tones. What’s going on?

From Tony: I need someone to watch my sex tape with, come over and bring pizza. 

From Rhodey:.. I don’t…

From Rhodey:…what in the…

From Rhodey:..start over. 

From Tony: I need someone to watch my sex tape with, come over and bring pepperoni pizza.

From Rhodey: Okay that cleared something up but not the important something. Why are you watching your own sex tape? 

From Rhodey: Why do you HAVE a sex tape?

From Rhodey: Forget I asked that, I already know the answer. Why are you inviting ME over to watch your sex tape?

From Tony: I need someone to watch it with

From Rhodey: You so don’t.

From Tony: And you’re my bestie so it’s sort of your job.

From Rhodey: it so isn’t.

From Tony: You’re really gonna make me watch this by myself?

From Rhodey: There is an option you’re forgetting about Tones. The option to not watch it at all.

From Tony: We’re way past that.

From Rhodey: Christ

From Rhodey: Do you want breadsticks?

From Tony: ALWAYS. 

“I want it put on the official record that I objected strenuously to this!” James yelled as he came through the door of the New York apartment. “Tony? I objected strenuously!” 

“Noted and noted.” Tony came bouncing down the stairs to meet him, a bottle of beer well on it’s way to being empty before he put it down, hooking an arm around James’s neck and dragging him in for a kiss. “Good to see you, sour patch. It’s been a few months.” 

“Yeah, yeah it sure has.” More out of habit than anything, James gave Tony a quick once over, seeing if he looked too tired or if he was just barely tipsy or full on drunk yet, or if he’d put on any weight. “You look good, Tones.” 

“I got a new tailor.” Tony did a quick spin in his no doubt over priced shoes, showing off the fit of his pants. “April introduced me.” 

“April?” James opened the pizza box and started dividing the pieces onto plates. “Don’t you mean Summer? Weren’t you dating Summer?” 

“Hell if I know.” Tony crammed an entire breadstick into his mouth. “Oh don’t look at me like that Rhodey. She was named after one of the seasons.” 

“Not great, Tones.” he scolded lightly and Tony shrugged it off. “So which season made a sex tape of you without your consent?” 

“Uh no, this was Shania from last summer.” Tony waved him over towards the couch in the living room. “Remember her? Red head, singer, smoking hot?” 

“Vividly.” 

“Yeah, well apparently she was also an aspiring film maker and decided to try and blackmail me with this little gem.” Tony turned on the TV and flopped on the couch. “But Ms. Potts is sort of terrifying and I never even heard about it until after it had been handled and dismissed and I literally had to steal this out of Pepper’s trash can so I could watch it.” 

“And the reason you’re watching it is…?” James settled himself on the other end of the couch, putting the pizza and breadsticks between them. 

“Pure morbid curiosity.” Tony ripped the top off another beer. “Haven’t you ever wondered what you look like doing this sort of thing?” 

“Not ever.” James shook his head. “Literally not ever, Tones Regular people don’t wonder that.” 

“Well regular people aren’t half as fun as me.” Tony retorted and hit play on the grainy video. 

“Oh, this isn’t terrible.” 

“Not yet it isn’t. Nice pick on the hotel room, where is that?” 

“Little bed and breakfast in Vermont. Cute place.” 

“Wow, she really was hot.” 

“Yeah. She was smoking– oh GOD that is not a good view!” 

“MY EYES! MY EYES!” 

“Okay that’s rude, it wasn’t that bad of a shot. Don’t throw up your pizza or anything.”

“From the back and up junk shot is never good, Tones. Not on porn stars, not on us regular types either.” 

“Noted and noted.” 

“Look at you go. Did she sound like that for real or was she faking?” 

“Uh that was during my tongue ring phase, so I’m pretty sure it was real.” 

“Your tongue ring… never mind. I don’t want to know.” 

It was fifteen minutes into the less than professional film that James noticed Tony staring at him rather than the screen, and over the sound of on-screen Tony moaning, asked– “What’s up, Tones. Am I hogging the pizza?” 

“No.” Tony actually sounded nervous and James looked up in surprise. 

“What’s up, then?” 

“Can I um– can I–” It wasn’t very often that Tony Stark didn’t have words, but he certainly didn’t seem to have them this time as he inched down the couch until he was nearly at James’s lap, his hand landing precariously north of the knee. “Rhodey, you’re–” 

James was hard in his pants, of course he was. It was naked people after all, a beautiful girl and Tony who– despite the earlier laughter– was beautiful too and naked on the screen and moaning and breathing hard and making all sorts of noises that James had only heard once, only once in Vegas and–

“Christ.” his head thumped back at that first light touch and when Tony leaned up for a slow kiss and then bent down to use his mouth for something else all together James’s entire world narrowed down to the feel of Tony’s tongue and the way Tony’s hair felt between his fingers before everything whited out with pleasure. 

He spent the night that night, the terrible sex tape forgotten in favor of watching Top Gun for the eight hundredth time, Tony sat squarely on James’s lap for the movie as they drank and laughed and shared kisses and then they fell into bed together, too tired and a little too drunk to much of anything but it was still good, so good to be close again. 

And in the morning when James woke up to Tony pillowed on his chest–“Was getting me over to watch your sex tape just some nefarious plan to get me in bed?” 

“Nefarious?” Tony sounded completely offended. “What sort of person do you think I am!” 

“Well–” 

“Comment withdrawn, don’t you dare answer that.” 

*******************

*******************

(2008) 

“I’m just saying, would it have killed you to actually be present for an award that I was giving you?” James asked, exasperation and a little hurt leaking into his tone. “Twenty years we’ve been friends and you’d rather gamble and let Stane take your speech then show up to shake my hand?” 

“Don’t get your feelings hurt, Rhodey.” Tony patted him on the shoulder, then grabbed onto his shoulder when he swayed. “Man, I’m getting too old to drink like this. Listen, if it makes you feel better, you can present the award to me here in my hotel room again and we can pretend like there are people watching.” 

“Tony–” 

“No no I’m serious, I’ll turn on a soundtrack of people clapping.” Tony started laughing, high and a little anxious and James bit back whatever retort he was ready to say and instead asked, “Tony, are you okay? You aren’t– are you nervous about Afghanistan? About the weapons presentation?” 

“A little bit.” Tony barely made it to the hotel bed, flopping back on the pillows and staring up at the ceiling. “You gonna stay with me tonight, Rhodey?” 

“No.” James wanted to stay, god he wanted to stay, they hadn’t had more than a few grabbed dinners and long phone calls since the night of the sex tape and he missed Tony in a way he didn’t know it was possible to miss someone. 

But, “No.” he said again. “I’ve got work to do before we get on the jet tomorrow. This is a big deal for me too, Tones. This Jericho Missile–” 

“–will change everything, I know.” Tony interrupted, and he sat up on the bed, looking far less drunk than he had just a minute previous. “Rhodey, the Jericho could change everything, do you know that? I mean, do you see? This might be the last missile I have to design, the last big piece of tech I have to work on.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“It means–” Tony huffed a laugh, ran a hand through his already tousled hair. “It means that um– listen, Rhodey. Vegas was a long time ago, right? A long time ago.” 

“Yeah, like eight years.” James swallowed hard, not sure where the conversation was going. “Why?” 

“Because it’s kinda bullshit that it’s been that long?” Tony scratched at his goatee, looking everywhere but at James’s eyes. “And I know that it’s probably my fault. I’m busy as hell and you’re busy and for being best friends we sure go a long time in between talking to each other or seeing each other and I’m saying that if everything with the Jericho goes well, maybe we won’t have to do that anymore.” 

He waited a beat and then emphasized, “We won’t have to wait so long in between times because I– I won’t have a whole lot to do anymore. Willingly. Willingly won’t have a whole lot to do anymore. My life is going to calm way down, won’t have anything going on and maybe we’ll finally have time that isn’t just stealing the occasional liquored up kiss.” 

James was quiet, silent, stunned because he hadn’t expected– he had never expected–

“I’m drunk so you don’t believe me.” Tony laughed and it was bitter and sort of awful. “That’s fine. Ask me again when I’m sober and I’ll say the same thing, alright? We should just– we should just see. After Afghanistan.” 

“After Afghanistan.” James repeated numbly. “We’ll talk– we’ll talk then.” 

“Sure.” Tony kicked off his shoes, threw an arm over his face. “See you in the morning?” 

“Yeah, I’ll see you in the morning.” 

Chapter Text

(Afghanistan, 2008)

“I’m sorry, this is the fun-vee. The Hum-Drum-Vee is back there.” 

Three months James searched that goddamn desert for Tony. 

Three months of sleepless nights and countless hours pouring over maps and intel and gleaning each and every piece of information for any sort of hint, any sort of clue. 

It was three months of every-other-day calls to Pepper who hadn’t cried when Tony had first disappeared, but after two dozen “we haven’t found him yet” conversations, was starting to tear up from the moment she said hello. 

Three months of James’s superiors reminding him over and over that there was a dedicated search and rescue team looking for Tony, that as a colonel he didn’t need to be out scouring the sands, there were people to do that sort of thing. 

It was three months of James taking every sick day he had and every bit of paid time off he’d earned and even using his bereavement leave so he was out in the sun every single minute he could be trying to find his best friend.

Some days he searched because he loved Tony, because they were best friends, because they were so close to being something more and James just wasn’t ready to face a world without Tony in it yet. 

Other days he searched because god-damnit, Tony’s last words were not going to be some snarky bullshit about James being hum-drum. No way Tony was going to have the last word going out of this friendship, absolutely not. James had put up with way too much bullshit and way too many shenanigans over the years for Tony to have the last word. 

No way. 

So maybe it was love, maybe it was spite, but James searched every day for three long months. 

And then James found him, somehow he found Tony in the middle of absolutely no where and Tony cried when James dropped into the sand to hug him and James couldn’t help his smirk when he said, “Next time you ride with me.” 

“Oh god.” Tony rubbed his eyes and cried harder and James held him tight. “Not the Hum-Drum-Vee. Anything but the Hum-Drum-Vee.”

Later, “You found me.” Tony still sounded like he didn’t quite believe it, picking his way through a sandwich, looking small and vulnerable and exhausted, nearly swimming in the only extra set of clothes James had on him. 

Tony’s clothes had been thrown away, his hair washed and washed and washed, his blood checked for contaminants, his skin scrubbed until he was pink. His chest had been carefully cleaned and then bandaged up again, Tony telling the doctor in charge to ‘Just go ahead and fuck right off’ when he tried to get a closer look at the– at the thing glowing beneath Tony’s shirt. 

“You found me.” he said again, and James put down a plate of food and moved to sit right next to him, wrapping an arm around Tony’s shoulders and trying not to grimace at the feel of the raised scars through the thin material, physical evidence of the beatings Tony had endured in the cave. 

“I was always going to find you, Tones.” 

“I know.” Tony pushed away the mostly uneaten sandwich and leaned into James’s arms, breathing out shakily. “I know you were going to. That’s what I kept telling myself. Everyone else would stop looking, but I knew you never would.”

“I wasn’t going to stop.” James pressed a kiss to Tony’s hair. “But you sure did me a solid by escaping that cave by yourself.” 

“I wasn’t by myself.” Tony said then. “Not at first anyway. I left the cave alone but that’s now how it started.”

James waited but Tony didn’t elaborate, so he let it go, content to just hold Tony close and try to keep him warm, try to ease the shivering that had started after the first shower and had yet to let up. 

“When I said that things would be different after Afghanistan, this isn’t what I meant.” Tony whispered after a very long time. “This isn’t what I meant at all.” 

“I know, sweetheart.” James was whispering too, their voices hushed in the tent because it felt like secrets, the closest they’d come to acknowledging out loud whatever it was between them. “I know.” 

“I’m sorry.” Tony’s voice broke and James shook his head. “I’m sorry, Honeybear. But I can’t– I can’t– I have to deal with this before I can even think about–” 

“Tony.” He got to his knees, slid off the chair and onto the hard ground and put both his arms around Tony’s waist, tugged him forward until Tony was curled around him, the shaking in his hands worse now that James was taking most of his weight. “You don’t have to apologize, are you kidding me?” 

“But I–” 

“Tony.” James cupped Tony’s jaw, wiped away the track of tears with his thumb. “Tony. The only thing I care about– the only thing I have ever cared about, it that you’re okay. And I know alot of things aren’t okay right now, I know that. But we’ll work on it and if we never get the chance to–” 

He shook his head again when Tony tried to interrupt. “If you and I never get the chance to revisit Vegas and if we never get to be… if things never get to be different? That’s alright. I’m still here.” 

“I’m still here.” James repeated. “If you didn’t manage to run me off with your nonsense at MIT, I’m not going to leave now. I’m here and I’m always going to be here. You’re my best friend, Tones. Not gonna let you do this alone.” 

“Nobody has ever loved me like you do, Rhodey.” Tony held him tighter and James put a careful careful hand over the faint glow of the reactor. “What would I do without you?” 

“Apparently make a robot from spare parts and blow a terrorist camp to kingdom come.” James said dryly and Tony’s laugh was more like a sob. “But if you need me for the mundane things like tying your shoes, let me know.” 

They slept next to each other that night, Tony wrapped in every piece of extra clothing James had because he couldn’t get rid of a bone deep chill, James with one arm under Tony’s shoulders, the other one resting protectively over the arc reactor, over Tony’s heart. 

Neither one of them were okay, but at least they were together again. 

*****************

*****************

It was a good thing Obadiah Stane died when the reactor blew through the top of Stark Industries, or James might have actually killed the bastard himself. 

He sort of wanted to kill Tony too, but instead James grabbed him tight and tried his damnedest to smother him in a hug and for once in his life, Tony didn’t squawk in protest or pull away or even have anything snarky to say. 

Tony just wrapped his arms around James and hugged him back for a long time and when James leaned back it was only far enough so he could flatten his palm against the reactor in Tony’s chest and push their foreheads together and whisper, “If you are ever so fucking stupid again, I swear to God, Tony. I swear to God. I will kill you myself and then I’ll give you a shitty eulogy, I swear I will.” 

“I know.” Tony swallowed hard and pressed closer. “But hey. He’s gone now and everyone knows I’m Iron Man–” 

“–that’s the worst name I’ve ever heard.” 

“–and this is as bad as things can get, right? Kidnapped by terrorists at the request of good old Uncle Obadiah and nearly dying when he went a little homicidal?” Tony laughed and then yelped when James jabbed him in the ribs hard. “Ouch! Okay, it’s not funny but at least it’s over, right?” 

James didn’t say it then, but he knew nothing was over. A person couldn’t just decide they were some sort of super hero while flying around in technology no one had known existed without attracting some sort of consequences and damn it, did Tony attract consequences. 

The Senate wanted to talk to him, to confiscate the armor and tag it as a weapon and James had to sit there stone faced and stoic on camera while Tony gave the equivalent of a verbal middle finger and announced something about pleasuring himself on national TV. 

There were groupies trying to break into the mansion to get close to Iron Man, amateurs trying to replicate the armor and seriously hurting themselves, a constant press battle between those trying to portray Tony as a reckless billionaire with too many toys and those who wanted to put him on a pedestal and call him a savior. 

And Tony handled it– well  he handled it like he’d handled everything else in his life, with a heart stopping smile and snappy one liners and a pair of expensive sunglasses to hide the aggravation in his eyes. 

He handled it well right up until Monaco, when Ivan Vanko used his own arc reactor technology to wreak havoc on the speedway and Tony came very close to dying for the third time in less than two years and–

“Damn it, Tony I am so tired of having this conversation!” James hadn’t meant to yell. He’d come to the Malibu house to let Tony know that the National Guard was ready to knock down his damn door and take the suits from him, but one look at the cocksure smirk on Tony’s face and his relaxed posture in one of the cars in the garage and James had snapped. 

“How many times do I have to think you’re gonna die before you start taking this shit seriously! That madman showed up and sliced your car in half, Tony! In fucking half! And I had to hear about it on the news? What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” 

“Rhodey.” Tony waved him off and James really thought he might put his fist through the wall. “It’s not as bad as you’re making it seem. I’m fine, Vanko is in jail–” 

“I didn’t know you were fine though!” James shouted. “You couldn’t have just called me? Would it have been too much trouble to just–” 

He stopped abruptly when Tony pushed away from the car and early collapsed, his knees giving out and face going pale. 

“Tony.” Anger forgotten, James hurried to his side, wrapping an arm around Tony’s waist and helping him to a chair. “Tony? What’s going on?” 

“Hand me that.” Tony motioned to a cigar box and James couldn’t do much more than watch with wide eyes and his heart in his throat as Tony disconnected the arc reactor and pulled out a smoking core, tossing it away and plugging in a new one. 

“It’s not supposed to smoke like that.” James said and Tony shook his head. “And that crossword puzzle looking nonsense on your neck?” 

“Let’s call it road rash.” Tony uncapped a dark green smoothie and started to chug it and James just stared. 

“What are you looking at?” Tony finally asked, his jaw clenching and tone brittle. 

“I’m looking at you.” James swallowed hard at the obvious signs of fatigue on Tony’s face, the tenseness in his eyes and that tremble in his hands that had never quite gone away after Afghanistan and was always worse when he was in pain. “You try to do this whole lone gunslinger act and you don’t have to. I told you I’m here, Tones. I’m here and you don’t talk to me, you don’t tell me anything.” 

“Well you need to trust that I know what I’m doing.” Tony pulled out what looked like a set of bracelets and weighed them in his palm. “Do you want a suit, Rhodey?” 

“Do I want a–” James frowned. “No, I don’t want a suit. And don’t change the subject Tony. What is going on with–” 

“I think you should have a suit, just in case.” Tony interrupted and James caught the bracelets purely out of reflex when Tony tossed thim in his way. “I’ve already coded these to you and they’ll operate any suit down here. I think you’ll like the silver one best though.” 

“Why?” 

“Just in case.” Tony repeated and James hated that he had to ask, “Just in case what, Tony?” 

“Just in case.” Tony said it again and this time his voice shook a little. “Are you coming to my birthday party tonight? Should be a banger. Should make this one a good one. Unless you want to blow it off and go somewhere? You want to go to Vegas? We should go to Vegas, right?” 

James didn’t answer for a minute because he suddenly knew, he knew what Tony was doing and what the arc reactor core meant and why he’d given the company to Pepper and why he was selling art and didn’t care about Justin Hammer and why suits were being coded to him. 

“Tony?” his eyes widened, his heart falling to the floor and chest tightening to the point of strangling. “…Are you– Tony, are you–?” 

The smirk was gone from Tony’s face now, any hint of his usual bravado washed out with the last bit of color in his cheeks when he nodded.

“Jesus Christ.” James sank into a chair, burying his face in his hands. “It’s the arc reactor, isn’t it?” 

“…yeah.” 

“How long–” 

“My blood toxicity is at some outrageous number. I don’t know how long it will take, but I’ve tried every option out there and can’t find a replacement.” 

“Christ.” 

They sat in silence for a long time, Tony staring at the floor, James with his head in his hands, not sure if he was angry or heartbroken or scared or some awful mix of all three.

Finally, Tony– “Do you remember the night before I graduated MIT?” 

“Of course.” James scrubbed a hand down his face. “Of course I do, Tones.” 

“You told me I only ever kissed you when I was drunk.” Tony continued. “And you were right. I only kiss you when I’m drunk.” 

“We don’t have to talk about this right now.” 

“Yeah we do.” Tony smiled a little. “Because otherwise we’ll say ‘hey we’ll talk about it in the morning’ and we won’t talk because we never do. So I need to say this now because what if I don’t have–” he cleared his throat and a tear slid down James’s cheek. “–what if I don’t have another chance?” 

Another tear and Tony chewed at his lip for a second before finishing, “I only kiss you when I’m drunk because I’m always afraid you’re going to push me away. I figured if it only happened when I drank, then we could laugh it off and blame it on the alcohol. No harm no foul.” 

“Tony–” 

“But you know, it’s been twenty something years and I’ve never gotten the courage to kiss you sober but that;s okay because you never kiss me when you’re sober either,e so I guess we’re even.” 

Tony laughed softly. “I guess it works out, right?” 

I’ve never kissed him sober. 

The realization rocketed through James’s core, made his skin flush and his fists clench because how had he loved this man for so long and never once–

“Come here.” He stood in an instant, crossing the few steps to Tony and winding his fingers through all that thick hair. “Tony, I love you. Do you know that? No matter what happens or whether you and I ever are anything more than this, I love you.” 

“Well sure, but–” 

“I love you.” James repeated and bent to seal their lips together, to fit a hand to the back of Tony’s neck and crush his mouth against red lips that tasted like green smoothie and tears and that wholly sweet taste that had always been TonyTonyTony. “Christ, Tony. I thought you knew–” 

Tony didn’t say anything, but he curled his fingers in James’s collar and pulled him back down for another and another and another until they could hear the doorbell ringing up above, the very first party goers showing up for Tony’s birthday celebration, JARVIS politely breaking in to remind Tony of the time. 

“I don’t want to leave you.” James admitted, bumping their noses together gently. “And we have to talk about this, do you understand? No more waiting until the morning. We have to talk about this.” 

“I know.” Tony dragged in a shaky breath, his eyes dark and a little hazy, lips swollen and bruised and James didn’t think he’d ever looked so beautiful in his life. “I know we do. But first– first um, if I get out of control tonight I need you to step in and handle it.” 

“What?” Thrown by the change of subject, James leaned away. “What did you say?” 

“You heard me.” The kissed-sweet glow was already fading from Tony’s cheeks. “Step in and handle it if I get out of control. Promise me.” 

“Tones–” 

“No one loves me like you do.” Tony sat up for one final kiss, just a brush of their lips. “And you told me once that you weren’t going to sit back and watch me kill myself. Tonight’s the night you step in and make sure that doesn’t happen.”  

James didn’t want to think about what that meant, he didn’t want to think about stepping in and stopping Tony from anything, not after their talk and certainly not after their kiss but when Tony started acting reckless at the party, when he was shattering glass and firing repulsors and not giving a single damn about who he might hurt, too drunk to even stand, purposefully too drunk to even feel anything—

–James stepped in. 

The suit was coded to him and it fit like a glove and Tony was belligerent and asking for a fight, egging James on and forcing him into action and it hurt to raise his hand against his best friend, but James didn’t stop until Tony didn’t get up again, until the Iron Man armor was crumpled in the corner. 

“Tony–” he tried to say, but Tony waved him off, his voice amplified through the speakers as he told him, “It’s fine, Rhodey. I’m fine. Go on.” 

“I love you.” it felt weird to say after such a bad fight, weird to say when the house was in shambles around them and James’s lip was split and bleeding from when Tony had grabbed a set of weights and clocked him, but he said it anyway because he had never said it enough. “You know that, right?” 

“Yeah, I know.” Tony answered. “No one loves me like you do, Honeybear.” 

Chapter Text

Manhattan, 2012) 

James left the longest, angriest voicemail of his life the day the Chitauri invaded. 

He had to call Tony’s phone back six times and keep yelling because he kept getting cut off, ranting and raving as he ran towards the jet that would take him to New York City, pulling every swear word in his rather considerable vocabulary and using them in new and inventive ways because Jesus Christ he had never been so angry that Tony had gone and done such a fool thing in his life, what in the ever lovin’ fuckin’ hell did he he think he was doing flying a goddamn bomb through a goddamn hole and would it kill him to pick up his fucking phone because in case Tony couldn’t tell, James was about two heartbeats from stroking out and dying of worry. 

His phone chimed with an incoming text from Tony:

From Tones: Lol you’re so dramatic platypus. BRB eating shawarma :) :) :)

“Sir?” the stewardess looked fairly alarmed when James snapped his phone in half and threw the pieces on the floor. “Are you alright?” 

“I am gonna kill the man myself and dance on his goddamn grave.” James muttered, flopping back in the chair and loosening his tie. “Get me a goddamn drink.” 

*****************

Tony wasn’t okay after New York.

“Don’t tell Pepper.” Tony had muttered after his first semi public panic attack, curled in the corner of their booth in the restaurant, his face ashen and hands shaking. “She doesn’t know it’s this bad.” 

“Don’t tell Pepper.” he said again after he had a breakdown over a child asking for an autograph and threw himself into the Iron Man Armour to have JARVIS check his vitals. “Okay just– just– I don’t want her to know how bad it is yet. She’d only worry.” 

“And you’re fine with me worrying?” James asked after the fourth or fifth time, after Tony had called him in the middle of the night because he’d had a nightmare and called a suit and Pepper had woken up and screamed. “You don’t want her to worry, but you’re fine with me worrying?” 

“You’ve been worrying about me for like, thirty years.” Tony said tiredly, and James could see on the phone screen how exhausted he was, the bags under his eyes and the tension in his jaw. “You’re used to the stress. Pepper’s not used to the stress of–” 

“– of loving you?” he cut in and Tony smiled for the first time in a long time. 

“Right. Of loving me.” 

James wasn’t willing to lie to Pepper so when she asked if he’d noticed Tony’s behavior, he told her the truth. He just left out the worse details– the implants in Tony’s arm to call a suit anytime he needed, the panic attacks that were getting worse, the way Tony’s hands shook so badly when he got anxious that he couldn’t hold a glass anymore. 

He left those parts out and made sure he was around more often to keep an eye on things and that– that was more difficult than James expected it to be, being around their relationship. 

Tony and Pepper were a beautiful couple, a well matched couple and the press loved them. Pepper was sweet and good and everything Tony needed and deserved and it wasn’t like James had ever really thought he and Tony would ride off into the sunset together as husbands or even actual romantic partners, but there had been a few years where he had thought maybe…

It was fine. 

“It must be a little weird to see us together.” Pepper brought it up one day as she worked on new SI contracts for the Air Force. “After everything you and Tony have gone through?” 

“No ma’am.” James replied easily, honestly. “I am more than happy to let you take over his bullshit. I put in my time, you can handle his shenanigans now.” 

Pepper laughed and James laughed and he never said how it did funny things to his heart to see Tony smile at Pepper with the same sort of smile he’d always saved for James. 

That smile meant it was real love, and every time James walked in them hugging or accidentally interrupted a kiss, that’s what he reminded himself. Real love. 

It was fine. 

*****************

*****************

(December)

Watching the Malibu mansion crumble off the cliff and into the sea made James’s heart stop, made him drop to his knees right there in the conference room and a few aides scrambled to help him but James pushed them away, unable to tear his eyes from the screen as Tony’s house disappeared into the ocean. 

“Colonel Rhodes.” The President shook his shoulder gently. “Colonel Rhodes. Are you still with us?” 

“I–I–” 

His phone chimed then and James dug it out of his pocket without actually answering the President, still glued to the footage on the TV, breaking away only a split second to check the message. 

It was a data sheet– heart rate, blood pressure, a list of minor injuries and it took James no more than fifteen seconds to recognize it as a read out from the mask of the Iron Man armor. Vitals and status and direction headed east and oh that meant Tony was alive. 

Son of a bitch, he was alive. 

“I’m fine.” he put his phone away and stood smoothly to his feet, going from devastated to calmly put together in less than a few seconds. “Mr. President, I suggest you find me a list of targets. The Iron Patriot is ready and a little anxious to blow some shit up.” 

Tony was alive and the data sheet that came to his phone updated every hour but James still felt like he needed a little vengeance so he dropped into the first target site with guns up and weapons ready, more than willing to blow the entire thing to kingdom come. 

But it was a sweatshop full of women and children, screaming and crying at the sight of the obnoxiously painted suit landing in their midst and James had to mutter apologies as he blasted off again. 

The next target was more of the same, and so was the one after that and the one after that. The Mandarin was making a damn fool of the Iron Patriot, of the entire United States and no doubt laughing about it and James was angry and confused enough to consider doing something really reckless–

– and then his phone rang. 

“Excuse me.” he said to the group of farmers he’d scared nearly to death, and then– “Hello?” 

“It’s me, pal.” 

The Mandarin turned out to be a fake but Tony was live and well and standing right next to him at the house in Miami, tired and stumbling a little but smiling and determined so James squashed the urge to bitch slap the drunk actor sprawled on the divan and focused on the mission instead. 

And Tony stared at him with something akin to hero worship in his eyes as they snuck aboard the container ship at the docks and wow did James miss his suit, but he also sort of loved Tony looking at him like that so maybe he showed off a little, letting the Colonel come forward enough to take charge of the mission and stack up a body count as they moved to save the President. 

“You’re amazing.” Tony said as yet another baddie took a plunge. “Do you know that?” 

“Oh I’m aware.” James retorted and Tony laughed and damn if that wasn’t the best sound he’d ever heard in his life. 

Pepper full of Extremis was a sight to behold, beautiful and terrifying and scary in a way that told James things were going to change and maybe not for the better, but Tony muttered a very quiet, very snarky joke about redheads and their temper to James before dropping everything and running to hold her so James let them be and went to oversee clean up. 

It was weird to see so many suits exploding in the sky, months and months of obsessive work and so many millions of dollars ripping apart as Tony set them to self destruct but Pepper hugged him tight and Tony was smiling while he watched and James didn’t say anything about it. 

Maybe now when Tony said ‘I’m okay’, maybe he’d actually mean it and maybe he’d get that happily ever after with Pepper he deserved. 

********************

********************

(2015)

James wasn’t expecting visitors at nearly two am, and he certainly wasn’t expecting to see Tony standing at his doorway wearing nothing but pajamas and holding a pillow but he pulled him inside anyway and turned on a few lights. 

Tony didn’t say anything at all, slumping into the kitchen chair and staring blankly at nothing while James made a cup of coffee and set it down, retrieving a blanket from the living room and putting it around Tony’s shoulders. 

They sat in silence for a long time until Tony took in a deep, shuddering breath and let a few tears fall. 

“She’s gone?” James asked and Tony nodded. 

“Can I stay here tonight?” Tony asked and James nodded and that was all they said before leaving the kitchen and heading towards the bedroom, curling up together in James’s king sized bed and huddling close for the first time since– since–

–well James didn’t remember the last time he and Tony had shared a bed. Maybe since right after Afghanistan? After Obadiah? He couldn’t remember but it had been years and years and yet they fit right back together like they always had and he placed a very gentle kiss on Tony’s forehead when the tears came harder. 

“Can we talk in the morning?” Tony whispered and James whispered back, “We’ll talk in the morning, Tones. Sleep now, I’ve got you.” 

Chapter Text

(2016)

“Okay for the record?” James puffed through the words as he turned the corner and jogged up the straight-a-way. “This doesn’t count as exercise for you.” 

“My doctor didn’t say exercise.” Tony said blandly, basically floating beside James with his boots and gauntlets up, the pieces keeping him perfectly balanced, perfectly matched in speed, hovering exactly six inches off the ground. “He said fresh air and my god is this alot of fresh air. My nose is starting to freckle. This will be terrible for my complexion.” 

“Your complexion is already terrible.” James retorted. “Weird, reclusive billionaire who spends too much time in a creepy lab with overly friendly robots isn’t a great look.” 

“I resent that.” Tony peered over the edge of today’s over priced and shockingly green sunglasses. “My lab isn’t creepy and my robots aren’t overly friendly. Dum-E is the exact right amount of nosy and U is always around when I need them.” 

“Not gonna argue the weird, reclusive billionaire part?” 

“Nah, why bother?” 

“By the way?” James checked his time and picked up speed, rolling his eyes hard enough to hurt when the repulsors kicked on a little higher so Tony was going faster too. “The doc definitely said you needed exercise. He didn’t want to say it, but I’m not afraid to tell you you’re starting to look a little fluffy around the middle, Tones.” 

“Excuse me?” Entirely offended, Tony swerved over in front of James and glared down at him. “Fluffy? Did you just call me fluffy? What does that mean?”

“It means that your favorite blue vest if starting to strain a little across the middle.” James answered flatly and when Tony squawked in outrage, he added, “But you are filling out your pants just great.” 

“You been lookin’ at the way I fill out my pants, Honeybear?” 

“The way you fill them out lately, I don’t really have a choice in the matter.” 

“Goddammit–” Tony fired up his repulsors and popped James with the lightest hit ever, sending him stumbling back several feet. “Shut the hell up.” 

“Hey.” James stepped up onto one of the boots, knowing it would hold his weight, and hooked his arm around Tony’s neck to pull him in for a sweet kiss. And sure, doing that sort of thing while hovering over the sidewalk was maybe a little weird? But still amazing. 

“What was that for?” Tony blinked at him in surprise, then glanced around self consciously. “Why did you kiss me?” 

“Because I wanted to.” James jumped back down to the ground and grinned up at Tony. “Because we’re doing that sort of thing now, right?” 

“…I…” Tony didn’t blush often, but not even his sunglasses detracted from the red spreading up his face. “I mean, yeah?” 

“God, you’re sweet.” James stepped back up and kissed him again and Tony blushed harder. “Why the hell are you blushing when I kiss you, we’ve kissed before. Been kissing for thirty years now.” 

“I don’t know it just feels…” Tony shrugged and pushed James off his boot. “Go away, I don’t like it.” 

“Yeah okay, you don’t like it.” James scoffed, checked his time and broke back into a jog. “By the way, you  might be getting fluffy but I sure love the way you fit in my arms lately, Tones.” 

“JESUS CHRIST!” Tony yelled after him. “You can’t just say things like that! Rhodey! Come back here!”

James laughed all the way back to the compound. 

*****************

*****************

It was never a good thing when Secretary of State Ross showed up unannounced, and the tension in the room was thick enough to cut when he handed over the stack of pages known as the Accords, approved by over a hundred countries with the direction to either “Sign or retire.” 

Not surprisingly, Steve wasn’t about to sign anything without reading it and he picked up the papers immediately. 

More surprisingly, Tony was willing to sign right then and there, adamant that the team needed boundaries, insisting that they could work on amendments later. 

James hadn’t expected to be arguing with Sam of all people about it, and nobody had expected Natasha to side with Tony. Vision had something wise to say as always and Wanda just looked scared and even after Steve had gotten a message and left the room, the argument continued. 

“Am I wrong about this, Rhodey?” Tony asked later, collapsing on to the couch and reaching for James’s hand. “Should I stand with Steve and resist it?” 

“I think Natasha was right.” James shrugged, rubbing his thumb over a scar on Tony’s hand. “If you all agree, it’s one hand on the wheel which still gives you some control. But if you all resist, you’ll be forced into retirement and any move at all will be considered treason, a war crime. They’ll go to jail.” 

“Retirement.” Tony sighed. “That doesn’t sound so terrible, does it?” 

“You thinking about retiring, Tones?” James shifted on the couch and tucked Tony closer to his side. “Hm? Ready to give up the suit and settle down with a couple dogs and a rocking chair?” 

“Maybe.” Tony was watching him carefully, and James waited with raised eyebrows for him to finish. “It would give us a chance to finish this talk we never end up having, right? Would give us time to go back to Vegas and see if–mmph!” 

James leaned over and kissed him, fitting a hand to the back of Tony’s neck to keep him close for a long moment. “Don’t feel like you have to give up Iron Man just so you and I can finally have that talk, just so we can revisit Vegas. We can do that anytime, Tones.” 

“But not really.” Tony pulled away with a frown. “We decided after Pepper that we couldn’t do a relationship and the hero thing. Has to be one or the other.” 

“We’re doing a relationship now.” James pointed out and Tony huffed, “Not really! Not… not officially.” 

“I kiss you whenever I want and tell you I love you every damn day and as long as we’re in the same time zone, we’re sharing a bed.” James argued back. “How is that not a relationship?” 

“It’s just not the one I want.” Tony muttered and James blinked a few times because they– they hadn’t talked about that yet. 

“Tony–” 

“We have to deal with the Accords first.” Tony decided. “Because those will sort of take the decision out of my hands, right?” 

“….right?” 

“And then we can go to Vegas and talk.” Quieter that time. “Right?” 

“Right.” No question about it, they were overdue for a Vegas trip and a long awaited talk, and James tugged Tony close again for a long, promising kiss. “You’re absolutely right.” 

*****************

*****************

The airport fight was… well to be honest, most of James’s memories of the fight were fuzzy at best, wrapped in a haze of pain that wrapped around his spine and landed somewhere down around his feet, but he wouldn’t really know,  because he couldn’t really feel them.

He remembered fighting a tiny guy who was then suddenly big and literally swinging  gangways through the air trying to knock him out. Wanda was throwing cars in his way and at one point James had had a damn kid hitching a ride on his back and flinging webs to try and take down the big guy. 

Then he was taking off and trying to catch the Quinjet, Sam hot on his heels and Vision had only been trying to help but–

–James had woken up in the hospital, Tony curled up as small as he could be in the bed next to him, tears dried on his face, his fists clenched even in his sleep and when James had automatically tried to pull him closer, had tried to shift to give him more room, that was when he’d realized his legs didn’t work. 

“I could kill him.” Tony said later that day, staring out the window at the rain. “I could kill Sam. Not Sam, Steve. How the hell could Steve tear us apart like this, how could he turn his back on all of us for his friend? How the fuck did I end up fighting against the same people I ate dinner with last Friday?” 

“Tones–” James struggled to sit up, pushed himself up with his arms. “You telling me you wouldn’t take on the UN if it meant bringing me home?” 

“I’d take on the goddamn UN to bring you home.” Tony muttered. “But I wouldn’t drag everyone else into it! This isn’t just Steve who’s now a wanted criminal. Christ, they’ve got Clint and Wanda and Sam locked up in the Raft! And whoever the hell the Ant guy was? Who was that? Why is Steve dragging them into the fight!” 

“You would have been okay with Cap going after his friend all by himself?” James asked skeptically and Tony’s jaw worked in irritation. 

“We’re friends.” he finally said. “He could have asked me to help. He could have asked me and I would have figured out a way to bring Sergeant Barnes back. Signing those fucking Accords would have meant that Barnes could have sanctuary in one of our hospitals and rehab centers. Now? Now there’s talk of executing the Sergeant for his war crimes, POW status be damned. They want to lock Steve in a set of vibranium cuffs and throw him in a hole! Why didn’t he just listen?!” 

“Tony.” James motioned for him and Tony came immediately. “Sweetheart, you know damn well if that was me, or if the situation was reversed and it was you? Neither one of us would think twice before spelling a fuck you to the government and doing what we wanted.” 

“Are you taking Steve’s side?” Tony sputtered. “How the fuck–” 

“I’m saying I understand loving someone enough to not care what I have to do to keep them safe.” James interrupted. “And I think you should remember that when you go looking for Steve.” 

“I’m not going looking for him.” 

“We both know you are, stop stalling and leave already.” James tried to wave him away. “Go on.” 

“I am absolutely not leaving you, Rhodey.” 

“Sure you are.” James tried for a smile but it was more of a grimace. “I can guarantee I will be right here in this bed waiting for you to get back.” 

“We should have retired.” Tony grabbed his jacket and his phone, cursing under his breath. “Could be in a suite in Vegas right now instead of a goddamn hospital, could be fucking naked instead of chasing after Captain Pain in the Ass and his–” 

“Tony.” 

“WHAT!?” 

“Tony.” James worked hard to keep the pain from his voice, the panic from his eyes when he tried to move again and it didn’t work again. “We’ll get there, alright? Vegas will be there when we’re done. I’ve waited this long, what’s another few days? You keep bringing it up like we’re running out of time, but we’re not. Go figure this out and when you come back, we’ll retire. Go to therapy together and buy a dog together and move somewhere that no one would ever want to invade or attack ever, alright?” 

“Yeah?” Tony looked like he was trying not to panic either. “You think you can hold your own against me in retirement? I’m sure to be a menace with nothing destructive to do.” 

“Sweetheart.” James smiled when Tony did. “You come back and get me out of this damn bed and I’ll let you hold my own, huh?” 

******************

******************

Tony never wanted to talk about Siberia, so James never made him. 

He received an electronic file from an unknown number almost seventy two hours later, a small video screen opening on his tablet and playing thirty seconds of the worst video James had ever seen– a road he was too familiar with, a car he’d snuck out and driven with Tony when Howard was away, a figure on a motorcycle he’d seen only a week previous. 

There was a message– “Tell Tony I’m sorry I wasn’t there when it all went down, tell him I didn’t know before any of this. I don’t know if he’s heard from S.R. but I’m out here if you need me.” 

It was signed “N.R.” and that was it. 

James dumped the file from his tablet, then smashed the thing into the wall and when Tony came in to see what the noise was, James just shook his head. 

“Let’s try these out then, alright?” Tony made a few last minute adjustments to the braces and stepped away. “Can you stand? I got parallel bars, babe. Try and walk for me.” 

James hurt to his core even if he couldn’t feel any of it in his legs because it took so much effort to just take a damn step. It almost brought tears to his eyes, but he blinked them away because Tony was blinking away tears too and neither one of them was going to break down and cry. 

“Tell me how I can make this better.” Tony was distracting himself with the tech, eyeing every shift of the gears, every movement James made. “Do you want more cushioning? Is it rubbing against your leg weird? Cup holders? Tell me.” 

“Maybe some AC down in my–” James tried to snark but his legs gave out just then and he clattered to the floor. 

“Damn it.” Tony reached to help him but James pushed away stubbornly. “I can do this Tones. Flew a hundred and thirty eight missions, I can walk. Don’t help me.” 

“Fine.” Tony put his hands up. “Stubborn ass.” 

“You mean sexy ass.” James replied and Tony shot him a smile over his shoulder as he went to answer whoever was at the door. 

“Are you Tony Stank?” The delivery driver called through the door, and there on the floor, James laughed harder than he had in weeks. “Tony Stank? That’s you, right?” 

“That’s Tony Stank right there!” James hollered back and Tony groaned out loud. “And thank you for that! I’m never letting that go! Tony Stank!” 

“Don’t sound so excited.” Tony grumped. “It’s not that funny.” 

“It’s literally the funniest thing in the world.” James disagreed seriously. “Because after thirty something goddamn years, I finally have something annoying to call you every time you call me Honeybear.” 

“You love being called Honey bear.” Tony tore open the box and took out a flip phone and a folded note. “Admit it.” 

“I absolutely will not.” 

*********************

*********************
(Vegas)

Vegas had a hundred places to be and a thousand places to go and a hundred thousand people packed into all the spaces, and James didn’t want to be anywhere than where he was standing right now. 

“I Honeybear,” he murmured and Tony snorted loud enough that the officiant glanced at him in alarm. “Do promise to take you, Tony Stank–” an even louder snort. “– to be my lawfully wedded husband. In and out of scrapes and trouble, through all your bullshit shenanigans–” the officiant was starting to look a little alarmed. “–your dangerous inventions, incoherent rambles and weird sleep patterns. I promise to put up with your terrible coping and overspending, with your penchant for ugly ties and love of pictures–” 

“Rhodey!” Tony was full on laughing by now and James grinned back but continued– 

“I promise to always be there in the morning.” and then softer– “I’ve loved you since we were just kids at college and it took us a long time to get to Vegas the first time, even longer to get here a second time but we made it, you know?” 

James slid a simple gold band onto Tony’s finger. “And more than all this? I promise that no one– no one– will ever love you the way I do, Tones.” 

Tony stared down at the ring on his finger, then up into James’s eyes, and then pitched his index cards right over the side of the railing and threw his arms around James’s neck to kiss him. 

James caught him easily, the gears on his leg braces whirring with the extra weight but holding steady as they hugged and when Tony leaned away, all he could say is– “How the hell am I supposed to follow those vows? What could I possibly say that would be better than that?” 

“It’s a wedding, not a competition, Tones.” 

“The hell it’s not.” Tony tossed back. “I had every intention of having you in tears with my vows but that’s not going to happen now.” 

“Well, I think the officiant might cry if we don’t get back to it.” James suggested and Tony stepped back reluctantly. “Go on now, say your vows.” 

“I threw my cards over the edge.” Tony was smiling up at him the same way he’d smiled back when they were kids in college and James had agreed to enter the robot contest, the same way he’d smiled the night before graduation when James had finally kissed him back, the same way he’d smiled the last time they were in Vegas and James had thought the shine in Tony’s eyes was prettier than the stars. 

God he loved him. 

“I’ve loved you since I was fifteen.” Tony finally said. “And some days I wish it wouldn’t have taken this long to be together. I wish I would have sobered up in college and told you what I wanted, I wish I wouldn’t have pushed you away after graduation and I wish I wouldn’t have wasted time dating all those other people.” 

“Tones…” 

“I wish it wouldnt have taken almost dying for us to actually say something.” Tony continued, touching his chest where only scars sat now. “And I wish I hadn’t had to lose Pepper for you and I to finally take the step forward into something real. I wish alot of things were different, Rhodey, but then again I wouldn’t change it at all because somehow, I’ve always had you by my side and now–” Tony slipped a gold band onto James’s finger as well. “now I always will.” 

“Nobody has ever loved me like you do.” he whispered. “And I never want anyone else to even try.” 

***************

Epilogue

***************

“He’s a good kid.” Tony sipped at his coffee and watched Peter do his homework at the table of the compound. “I told him if he wanted this internship he had to work for it, and he hasn’t let a single grade slip or anything.” 

“He is a good kid.” James put an arm around Tony’s waist and kissed his husband good morning. 

“Does he remind you of me at that age?” 

“Oh god no.” James said emphatically. “God no. You were a terrible kid. Literally terrible. Do you see these gray hairs? They grew in the day you moved into my dorm. If Peter is anything like you at that age, I will kick him out of this house myself, I swear.” 

“Rude.” 

“And yet so true.” He stole a drink of Tony’s coffee. “What’s he working on right now?” 

“A robot design.” Tony’s eyes lit up. “He wants me to help with the NASA competition.” 

“Absolutely not. You’ll blow us all half to hell. Nope. No way. I am not letting you two build something for NASA in the same place I sleep. Not you and Disaster Jr. over there.” 

“Fine, we’ll build it outside.” 

“I swear to god, Tony—” 

“Fine fine fine.” Tony pushed him away, smoothing down his own silvering hair. “Spoilsport.”

James caught him back and re-ruffled his hair, laying a solid kiss on Tony’s lips. “Brat.”