Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

BANG, BANG . Two loud thumps boomed from the wooden door.

“Eight? ...still... asleep….? ...time... get up…!! Marina… pancakes!!”

Agent Eight groaned and rolled over in the bed. There was a muffled voice coming from the distance and she couldn’t quite make it out. Not that she was even the least bit curious to know what it was saying. In fact, she was feeling strangely comfortable and wanted nothing more than to go back into the sweet, loving, embrace of sleep.

Wait. Comfortable?

Eight’s eyes snapped open and she sat up with a jolt. She quickly scanned the room, attempting to make sense of her surroundings. The walls were covered in posters of various shapes and sizes, ranging from shop opening advertisements to pictures of Inklings in matching white outfits making ridiculous poses in front of neon signs. Backstreet Squids Final Tour! Get your tickets now before they’re all snapped up! One poster was just a picture of a squid holding onto a tree branch with the caption, “Hang in there, squid.” In the corner of the room, a Giant Zapfish themed beanbag lay saggy and wrinkly, clearly the victim of repeated use over the years.

Where am I? How did I get here? Eight closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, trying to come to grips with the situation. Her memory was hazy, as it usually was, and she attempted to recall what had happened earlier.   Let’s see… I was in the Metro… I escaped and I remember being on a… helicopter…? And then…

BOOM . Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash as the door was forcibly kicked open. “AYO! Get up you lazy Octo! I know you we had a wild time yesterday but I’m not letting you sleep in all day!” Eight flinched and instantly recognized the booming, high-pitched voice. In the distance, she could hear the rapid thumping of footsteps.

“...Pearl?” The white and pink tentacled Inkling strode into the room, a cocky smirk on her face.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out! Pearl, aka M.C. Princess, aka, the Duchess of Dance, aka the Queen of Anti-Disestablishmanterianis-”

“Oh my cod!” Pearl’s rather long-winded introduction was cut short as a tall, dark, and familiar looking Octoling ran up behind her, panic evident on her face. “Pearl, what happened??” She paused and surveyed the scene, very quickly coming to an understanding of the situation. “...DID YOU BUST DOWN THE DOOR? Why??”

“Chill, Marina! I just wanted Eight here to grab some pancakes”, Pearl answered, as if it that much was obvious.

“That doesn't-... How does that-...” Marina sighed and shook her head. “You know she’s been through a lot recently. Couldn’t you at least be more gentle with your entrance?”

Pearl shrugged, “Where’s the fun in that?”

Eight glanced back and forth between the two, her memories returning to her. That’s right. After defeating Commander Tartar, Pearl and Marina volunteered to take her in and show her around Inkopolis. At least, that was the plan until she promptly passed out from exhaustion not five minutes after her victory. They must have taken her to their house not long after.

Marina approached Eight and sat at the edge of the bed, concern in her eyes. “How are you feeling, Eight? Are you feeling better now?”

Eight looked at her and nodded. “Marina. Yes. I am doing fine, thank you.”

“Are you sure? No headaches? Cramps? Upset stomach?”. Eight simply shook her head.

“Bloating? Pain? Intracranial hypertension?”

“She’s fiiiiiiine!” Pearl groaned. “We both saw what she did, she’s tough as nails! Now can I - I mean, we - pleeeaase get some pancakes?”

Marina giggled and stood up. “Alright, alright, Pearlie. Let’s go downstairs, I’ll make you a big stack. And Eight? Come down when you’re ready, but don’t take too long. There’s something we’d like to discuss with you.”

The duo took their leave and headed back downstairs to the kitchen. Eight couldn’t help but smile at the exchange and, after a few moments, followed after them. The house was awfully large, which surprised her. Was it really just the two of them living here? From what she could vaguely recall of her days in the Octarian Army, it wasn’t uncommon for five or six Octarians to share living quarters in a room a quarter the size.

When she entered the kitchen, Pearl was already feasting on a stack of pancakes twice the size of her head. Marina stood in front of the stove, wearing a dark green apron, cooking up some more pancakes. A plate of food was already set on one of the empty spaces on the dining table. Eight assumed it was for her and took a seat there. She looked down at the golden-brown circles of fluffiness in front of her and thought back to her time in the Metro. She had seen advertisements for these “pancakes” in passing through the railway lines but had no idea they looked so mouth-watering in real life. The smell wafted up into her nose and she couldn’t help but begin drooling.

Pearl took a moment from her battle with the gigantic stack of pancakes and pointed at Eight with her fork. “Whatcha waiting for? Dig in!”

Eight hesitated and reached out towards the meal in front of her before Pearl stopped her. “No, no, don’t use your hands! Here, use this!” Handing her the fork, Pearl pulled out a spare, seemingly out of nowhere and resumed her feast.

Eight looked at the pointed utensil in her hand with a mixture of fear and awe. “I use... a weapon… to eat?” After a moment, she shrugged and did her best to mimic what she had seen Pearl doing. What a terrifying species, she thought, as she violently stabbed the pancake and shoved it into her mouth. Slowly chewing on the food, Eight suddenly brought a hand to her cheek and beamed with delight as the flavour spread throughout her mouth. “This is amazing!”

Marina looked back at her, a shy smile on her face. “Oh thank you, that’s sweet of you to say. Sure beats the Nutripaste they used to feed us, doesn’t it?”

“The wha-” Pearl stopped and asked, mouth full of half-chewed food.

“Nutrient paste,” Eight responded coolly. “Composed of seaweed and detritus collected from the seafloor, blended into a fine powder and reconstituted from the slime of a blobfish. Very nutritious.”

Pearl gagged and waved her hand dismissively. “Uggghh! Gross. Forget I asked.”

Marina cooked her own pancake and served it on an empty plate. Sitting down across from Eight, she began to eat as well. The trio enjoyed their food in silence before Eight spoke up.

“I would like to thank you two for taking care of me and providing me with a place to rest. Not only that, but you have introduced me to such an amazing delicacy. How can I ever repay you?”

Marina shook her head. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that. You’ve saved Inkopolis, that’s more than enough.”

“I see.”

“But, I did mention earlier that we had something to discuss. It’s mainly about how you’re going to adjust to your new life here.”

New life? The idea hadn’t dawned on Eight, but Marina was right. Not only had she been freed from Octavio’s control but she’d escaped from the depths of the Metro itself. All her life, she had been a captive, either through subordination or imprisonment, but for the first time she was free . The thought excited her, but the idea of integrating into the foreign Inkling society made her a little nervous. The fact alone that they ate their meals with weaponry caused her more than a small feeling of apprehension. What other strange customs awaited her? Do they splat each other in the face with Blasters to say goodbye?

Marina noticed the look of worry on Eight’s face. “Don’t worry, I was nervous the first time I came here as well. Thankfully, Pearl was there to teach me all about Inkling society. She taught me all about their rules, their customs and, um, she even taught me about some of their more intense, private activities.” She furtively glanced at her partner, a deep blush forming on her face. Pearl quickly looked up from her empty plate, a similar shade of crimson mirroring her partner’s. Eight stared at the pair and nodded in understanding. Ah. She must be referring to some sort of intense training regimen. That explains the flushed faces.

“Ah- hem, ” Pearl cleared her throat loudly. “As Marina was saying, I had to show her around cuz, you know, she definitely wouldn’t have made it without me.” She pointed at Eight. “That’s why we’ve asked someone to give you a tour of the place and to help you get to know all about the squids and the squibs.”

“Someone? Will you two not be my guides?”

Pearl shook her head. “Nah. We’d love to but we’re s hella busy after what just happened with Tartar. We’re clogged up on all our appointments, and we’re way behind on our radio gig. Check us out by the way, Off The Hook.”

“But don’t worry!” Marina interjected. “We wouldn’t get a complete stranger to show you around. Actually, it should be someone you know.”

Knock knock . Two quick raps came from the front door. “Oh! Perfect timing.” Marina quickly headed for the door and opened it. “Ah, I’m sure you two have met. Agent Eight, meet Agent Three. Agent Three...”

Eight peered from behind and froze when she saw who it was. The inkling at the door had bright green tentacles, cut into bangs from the front and reaching down to her waists from the sides. Her intense, yellow eyes, no longer vacant and cloudy as Eight had remembered, were staring straight at her. She was wearing a simple white shirt featuring a logo of a blue shark, as well as a pair of black, knee-length shorts.

“I’m sure you two will get along great.”

The inkling stepped inside the house, her attention never straying from Eight, a blank, unreadable expression on her face. She stopped just short of the Octoling and looked down at her.

“Sup. Name’s Three. ‘Bout time we actually met.”

Chapter Text

Throughout the course of her Agent career, Three had learned to expect the unexpected. It had saved her ass more times than she could count. When Cuttlefish sent her on a mission to infiltrate the Metro and find out what was going on with Kamaba Corporation, she went in completely blind. As far as she knew, they may as well have been building superweapons or running some sort of freak experiments down there, which, to be fair, wasn’t far from the truth. Expect the unexpected. When she came across the Octarian Army in the Metro working with Kanabo, she wasn’t caught off guard. Expect the unexpected. When she saved Cuttlefish and some Octoling from getting shredded into a fine paste by a talking telephone and his giant blender, she didn’t bat an eye. Expect the unexpected. When she got knocked out and the first thing she saw when she woke up was a giant statue of a human (she’d read about them in books) half-submerged and covered in pink ink she just accepted it. Expect the unexpected.

But she wasn’t expecting this.

Three grit her teeth and grabbed the Octoling by the collar, yanking her away from the looks of curious passerby. “Stop that! What the fuck are you even doing?”

Eight struggled feebly and reached out towards the red contraption sticking out of the ground. “But it’s so fascinating! A high pressure hydraulic system that reaches deep underground... Is it based on Octarian kettle technology?”

“ Like I just said , it’s a fire hydrant. It puts out fires. There’s literally one in every block. You don’t have to stop and molest the fucking things every time we pass by one!”

What the shell was wrong with this person? From what someone named Marina told her on the phone, she was an Octoling who had defected from the Octarians and had saved Inkopolis from “a cataclysm-class, solar-powered, ink-injected superweapon of doom”. That actually sounded kind of impressive so when she was asked to show the confused Octo around the city, she didn’t mind, despite her throbbing head and aching body. It didn’t take long for her to come to the realization that taking this job was doing no favours for her headache.

She looked back at the Octoling she was dragging by the neck. Her pink, shoulder length tentacles were parted at the front with one shorter tentacle running behind her head. Three would describe her face as cute, especially now that she was pouting like a baby inkling who had her toy taken away. Despite this, her mounting frustration and embarrassment were amplified by the fact that everyone on the sidewalk was just staring at the two. That Agent Eight was a whole head taller than her only served to make the situation even more comedic, in an ironic sort of way.

“Listen,” Three said. “I’m going to let go of you, and I want you to promise me you that when I do won’t run off and start randomly touching things.”

“Of course, of course. I shall do my best to properly integrate into Inkling society. I do not want to stand out as an odd person, after all.”

“Bit fucking late for that…” Three grumbled under her breath, releasing her literal chokehold.

Eight stood up and dusted herself off. She looked up and gazed around the Inkopolis Square with wonder. “There are so many buildings… I would have never imagined something like this even existed.”

Three kept walking, with Eight following behind. “It’s not bad, I guess. I prefer the more quiet places. There’s always a couple of weirdos hanging around in the Square.” Which I guess would be us right now .

Eight turned around to face Three, suddenly stopping her and grabbing her hands. Her eyes were with pure, unadulterated glee and she had moved her face uncomfortably close. “This is so exciting. So! Which venue shall we peruse first?”

Three blushed lightly and quickly pushed her away. “Gh… you’re too close.”

Eight tilted her head. “Really? I saw Pearl and Marina doing the same thing before we left. They were speaking to each other at a very close distance. I had assumed that was how you communicated clearly.”

“Yeah, well, those two are a special case.” Three started walking towards the largest building in the Square. Attached to it was a large screen, currently playing an advertisement for the latest energy drink. Red Gull! Gives you wings! Probably. It’s about 50/50. Don’t sue us if it doesn’t. “C’mon, we’re gonna do some Turf Wars. Gonna need to warm up if I’ll be dragging you around all day.”

“Okay!”

The two entered the building and stepped onto a circular platform. After a few seconds, it began to ascend with a soft hum.

“So what are these ‘Turf Wars’?” Eight asked. “I have never heard of them.”

Three attempted to explain the rules. “So basically, there are two teams. Our team has to try to cover the ground with as much of our ink as we can. The other team’s trying to do the same. The team with the highest ground covered at the end of the round wins.”

“Interesting. So it is as much a game of wits as it is of action.” Eight pounded a fist into her hand in excitement. “Inklings are more clever than I thought.”

The platform they were standing on slowed to a halt as it stopped by a floor filled with weapon racks surrounding them from all angles. Three approached one of the racks and picked up a pair of Dualie Squelchers. She spun them around her fingers and quietly nodded to herself. These were well-balanced, luckily for her. Nowadays it was hard to find any decent rental weapons from the racks because there were so many idiots who didn’t know how to take care of them. The last time she borrowed a Charger, it literally broke in half as she was shooting. It pissed her off, and she basically had to resort to sneaking up behind the enemy and bashing them in the head with the butt of the rifle. Three chuckled to herself. It was still pretty fun, though.

She glanced at Eight who had decided to pick up a Splatling. Well, someone’s in for a surprise . Out of all the rental weapons, Splatlings were notorious for breaking down in the middle of battle. It got to the point where everyone would just buy one from Sheldon and bring those in instead. There was a story of someone who actually got injured using them. They're bad news all around. But everyone has to learn at some point, right?

After selecting their weapons, the two stepped back onto the middle of the platform which resumed its ascent.

“So, will we be fighting against some sort of artificial intelligence in this Turf War?”

Three turned to Eight and looked at her like she suddenly grew a second head. “Bots? Of course not. That'd be so fucking boring.”

As if on cue, two Inklings suddenly materialized out of nowhere beside Eight, who yelped in surprise. One of them, a male with tentacles tied up in a ponytail, was holding a Slosher while the other, a female with a long tentacle parted to one side, was brandishing a Splat Charger over her shoulder.

“Yo.”

“What’s up?”

The lift began to slow down as it reached its destination. The domed roof covering the platform slowly opened up, revealing the battlefield that surrounded them. Inkblot Academy. Fuck. Three hated this place. Her parents had forced her to attend when she was younger, despite her protests. She despised everything about the Academy. The pretentiousness, the cliques, the people. One Inkling in particular really pissed her off. But now wasn’t the time to think about the past. Now was the time to focus. Three looked up at a nearby electronic billboard as it began counting down.

Five.

“Three? I-I didn’t realize we would be facing live opponents!” Eight stammered.

Four.

Three grunted. “You’ll be fine.”

Three.

One of the other inklings, the one holding a Slosher noticed the Splatling Eight was holding and his eyes widened. “Woah, dude, you’re seriously using a rental? You’ve got guts, I’ll give you that.”

Two.

“What do you mean?”

One.

“Woops, no time to chat, time to get to work!”

A horn sounded loudly across the battlefield, signalling the beginning of the round. The two Inklings immediately charged forward, splattering the ground with Purple Ink as they did so.

Three began to run forward to join them but noticed that Eight hadn’t moved an inch. It looked like she was trembling. “Hey, you know the round’s started.”

“I… I can't,” Eight said in a barely audible whisper.

“What? Why not?” Three frowned. As far as she was aware, Eight was no stranger to splat battles. Cuttlefish even spoke highly of her when they debriefed after the Kanabo mission. Was this really the person who saved Inkopolis from some giant superweapon? Right now she looked more like a scared little animal than a heroic agent. “Are you scared you're going to get splatted? It's really not as painful as it-”

“No!” Eight suddenly exclaimed, startling Three. “I am not worried about myself, I am worried about the other team.” Eight took a breath. “They are all Inklings, correct? If I participate in this, what if I am forced to fight them? I could not bear it if I… killed one of them on accident and was labelled a murderer.”

There was a moment of silence between the two as Three stared, a dumbfounded look on her face. The sounds of battle could be heard in the distance. “You aren't actually- I mean, it's just… Pfft… ahaha!!”

Eight frowned and scrunched up her face in indignation. Three looked away from her. Why the shell did she look so cute when she did that?

Three cleared her throat. “Look. There are spawn points on the battlefield. If you splat someone or get splatted, you’ll appear back at these points like nothing ever happened.”

Eight hesitated. “And they will be perfectly fine? There will be no lasting damage?”

Three snorted. “Maybe to their ego.”

“Oh… okay. Then I suppose I can participate in this activity.”

“Just stay behind me if you’re worried and focus on inking all the little corners. Winning is about the points, not the splats.” Yeah, right. Like shell it isn’t.

Charging forward with Eight close behind, Three caught up with the rest of the team on the frontlines. At least, what was left of them. The female Inking using the Charger was nowhere to be seen, most likely having been already taken out. The Inkling boy was huddled up behind a piece of concrete, trying to wipe off the copious amount of enemy ink off his body. He noticed the two approach and yelled, “Where the shell have you two been? We’ve lost a player and now we’re completely surrounded! We need to circle back and try to regroup. Maybe we can-”. His speech was cut short as an autobomb waddled its way over to his position and began to beep wildly. “Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding m-”

Three dodge-rolled behind a wall while Eight took position behind a tower some distance away.

“Great. So now we’re down two players and we’re up against three-” Three peeked around the corner and immediately pulled back as a hail of ink splattered the spot where her face was. “ Four enemies. What was our team doing? Fucking useless…” Meanwhile, Eight was attempting to ink the corners, as instructed.

They were surrounded from the front. It seems the enemy team had taken up a semicircle position around them and were slowly circling around in a sort of flanking, pincer manoeuvre. This wasn’t the first time Three had been in this kind of situation. Normally, she would feint around the side and attempt to take out the leading flanker before making a quick escape. But she didn’t need to this time. She wasn’t alone.

She gestured to Eight and got her attention. She pointed up towards the top of the tower, signalling for Eight to climb and fire down on the enemy from above. Eight nodded and began to scale the tower. At this point the enemy had stopped firing, most likely they had already started to circle around their position. Time was of the essence here. If they didn’t pull this off fast enough, they could kiss their asses goodbye.

Once Eight had reached the top of the tower, she gave the OK to Three below and began to rain ink down on the enemy team. Right on cue, all four Inklings turned their attention to the source of the inkstorm and frantically tried to take cover.

“Ack! On top, on top!”

Three rolled out of cover and quickly dispatched the two distracted enemies on her side of the wall.  As she had predicted, the enemy had broken off into pairs and they were approaching from opposite angles. They knew they had the two pinned, with no hope of escape. They expected an easy cleanup followed by a quick win. What they didn’t expect was for one of them to suddenly pop up from the top of the tower and fire down where they were most vulnerable

“Take her down! Take her down!” Three could hear the enemy yelling on Eight’s side and began sprinting in her direction. She heard a loud splat as she was halfway there. It seems Eight had eliminated one of the enemy Inklings. Three was all but confident in their victory but she suddenly heard a loud boom, followed by a cry that made her heart stop.

Looking up, she couldn’t quite make out what had happened. It looked like Eight’s weapon had exploded as she was firing it, sending her flying back and off the tower. Shit, shit, shit . Three pushed herself to run as fast as she could towards Eight, hoping she could make it in time. As she approached the tower, she was relieved to find that Eight had managed to turn back into an octopus and land in a puddle of friendly ink. It saved her from the worst of the fall but it looked like she still took some damage from that height. Eight was on the ground, groaning and rubbing her head.

“I am okay.”

Three exhaled a sigh of relief and was about to try to locate the last enemy Inkling when he suddenly appeared, peering from behind the corner of the tower where he was hiding. He spied the vulnerable Eight on the ground, and slowly walked over to her, grinning in triumph.

“I’m not really sure what happened, but this must be my lucky day.” He raised his Splattergun up and aimed down the sights as Eight looked back at him in fear. “Nothing personal,” he mumbled as he pulled the trigger.

Out of nowhere, Three rolled in front of the line of fire, wielding her Splat Dualies as she absorbed the shot with her shoulder. The startled Inkling could barely get a word off before he was splatted at point blank range.

Three breathed heavily as she shook her arm to get the ink off of her shoulder. She turned to Eight and offered her free hand to the downed Octoling. “Need some help?”

Eight looked up at her saviour with shock at what had just happened. “That was amazing! It is no wonder that Captain Cuttlefish speaks so highly of you.” She giggled and smiled warmly. “I suppose that this is the second time you have saved me. Thank you, Three.”

Three felt the blood rushing to her face as she looked away quickly. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just get up, we haven’t won yet.” Eight nodded and hold of the outstretched hand. She looked up and noticed that her teammates had already respawned and were running back to their position.

“C’mon, let’s go.” Three muttered.

“I do not have a weapon,” Eight said. “It appears to have malfunctioned when I used it on the tower.”

“Figures. Here.” Three tossed one of her dualies to Eight, avoiding any sort of eye contact. “Make sure to give that back to me once this is done. If you lose it, you’re paying the rental damages fee.”

“Wait, are you su-” Eight didn’t receive a response as Three sprinted ahead, followed by the two freshly respawned teammates.

Three shook her head vigorously to clear her thoughts as she ran forward. What the fuck was that? Why did she willingly get shot? Had that been anyone else, she would have let them get splatted and then cleaned up the last enemy, leaving her the sole survivor. That was dumb. Really fucking dumb, But... Her thoughts wandered back to Eight’s grateful face and here really and her annoyingly cute smile. Three grinned, ever so slightly.

“Move!” Three’s thoughts were interrupted as the male Inkling with the Slosher shoved her aside, out of the way of a barrage of Tetra missiles. She quickly caught her balance and took cover behind a glass display of modern art, or as she would call them, “ When a tree had to die just to have shit slathered all over it” .

She nodded at the Inkling who had similarly took cover behind another display.  Focus! Now was not the time to get distracted. She grinned with determination and raised her single dualie close to her face. “Let’s get these assholes.”

…

“That was fun. We should do that again sometime.” Eight smiled as she walked beside Three. “Although I think I will abstain from using their weapons next time.” Her first Turf War had ended in a resounding victory, and now they were going to celebrate.

Three said nothing in response. She was frustrated, although she wasn’t exactly sure why. The War was supposed to clear her head and while her headache was gone, something else was bothering her. She was feeling distracted. Confused, maybe? Whatever it was, she didn’t like it.

“So? Where are we going now?”

“Food. Then we’re gonna get you some new clothes. You’re not walking around town in that.” Three pointed at Eight’s clothes.

Eight looked down at her leather top and shorts. “What is wrong with what I am wearing? This is the standard issue Octarian Army out-of-combat attire. It is comfortable, yet durable enough for use in case of a sudden battle.”

Three rolled her eyes. “Yeah that’s exactly why we-”

“What’s wrong with your clothes? Darling, what isn’t wrong with your clothes?” Three froze as the familiar, excruciatingly annoying voice reached her ears. She clenched her fists as a female Inkling with yellow shoulder-length tentacles approached the pair. She was sporting the newest Enperry jacket, a pearly white coat that ran all the way down to her knees. Her neon blue Inkline shoes also seemed brand new, as they glistened in the afternoon sun. How the shell does she even afford these things?

“What the fuck are you doing here, Four? Shouldn’t you be off making fun of the ‘artistically challenged’ or something?”

Four ignored Three’s comment and walked up to Eight, grabbing her hands and gazing directly at her. Her bright blue eyes twinkled with curiosity as she studied Eight, who stared back in return. Suddenly, the Octoling leaned forward, close to Four’s face and smiled.

“I see that you wish to communicate with me. Hello. My name is Eight. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

Three’s jaw dropped as Four smirked and dramatically fanned her face with her hand. “My, my, it seems that my charms capture the hearts of even Octolings. I’m flattered, Eight, but I’m afraid I already have someone mmf-” Four’s face was roughly shoved back as Three moved her hands between the two and forced them apart.

“Seriously, what do you want Four? We’re kinda in the middle of something here and if you don’t mind I’m actually really fucking hungry.” Three glared daggers at her.

Four rolled her eyes, “Touchy, touchy. Fine, then. I was actually on my way to the Tower for my daily Ranked Battle but as fate would have it, I happened to run into the two of you.” She looked Eight up and down, critically eyeing her clothes. “And how fortunate that I did, because it seems you need my help now more than ever.”

Three could see what was happening. She shook her head. No. Don’t say it.

Four puffed out her chest and rested her fingers on it in a pose of triumph. “Therefore, I, Agent Four-”

Don’t you fucking dare you bitch.

“-shall accompany you two and assist this Agent Eight in her quest for ultimate freshness !”

…

…

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!

Chapter Text

“Order up,” the cook shouted, ringing the call bell. The restaurant was busy as usual - the hustle and bustle of inklings coming and going created a very hectic atmosphere. Customers were having loud conversations, most of them about the latest, freshest trends. Eight attempted to listen in but couldn’t quite grasp the subject. She heard someone say something about an “ink bucket challenge” which sounded interesting. She made a mental note to ask Three about that later.

As she stared down at the menu in front of her, she heard a groan beside her. “Ugh. I can’t believe we’re eating in a place like this.”

From the start, Four had made it no secret of her distaste of the place. Even walking in, she had very loudly voiced her disapproval. “It's called the Shrimp Shack? My goodness, even the name sounds hideous.” This had earned her a dirty look from the head cook, but thankfully he had left it at that.

Eight didn’t find anything particularly wrong with the restaurant. The stuffy surroundings were a little stifling at first, but she was beginning to grow a little more comfortable. There definitely wasn’t anywhere with this kind of atmosphere back in the Octo Valley.

Four grimaced as she looked down at her own menu. “Do they seriously offer fried butter sticks as an appetizer? Mon Dieu , this locale reeks of the uncultured.”

“I get it. I heard you the first five hundred times. Shut up.” Three sat across from Eight and Four, clearly in a foul mood. “Eight, what are you getting?”

Eight scratched her head. “I am not sure. Perhaps a Salty Sea Dog?” The menu she was looking at might as well have been written in another language. What was a Sea Dog? For that matter, what even in the world was a Dog?

A waitress came over to their booth, out of breath and overwhelmed from the sheer number of customers. "Hi, welcome to the Shack. What can I get for you?"

"I shall have one Salty Sea Dog, please," Eight responded.

"Double cheeseburger." Three said, handing the waitress the menu. "Fries on the side, too. Actually, might as well have a Berry Blast Shake while I'm at it."

The waitress nodded and jotted down their orders before turning to Four. "And you?"

Four looked up and sighed dramatically. "I suppose I have no choice. I will have a bowl of your freshest greens, served with just a hint of balsamic vinegar. I would also like you to include a handful of Goji berries, some Chia seeds - ah, and make sure they have been properly soaked in alkalized water beforehand - as well as a splash of some organic, hormone free olive oil. Also, make sure to include-"

"Salad," Three interrupted, much to the relief of the panicking waitress. "Just give her a salad."

"Sure thing, I'll be back with your food in a bit," the waitress said as she rushed away.

“Why are you always like this?” Three turned to Four. “It’s like you can’t breathe without acting like such a stuck up bitch.”

“Well, pardon me for trying to keep up with the latest health trends. Although I don’t suppose that’s something someone of your social standing would understand,” Four harrumphed.

“And while we’re at it, stop talking like that! I know you’re just trying to act all fancy so you can impress Mari-”

“So!” Four exclaimed, reaching an arm around Eight and pulling her close. “Why don’t you tell us about yourself, Eight? I wouldn’t have expected an Octoling to make such a fine Agent but you’ve certainly proved me wrong.”

Eight smiled sheepishly. “Thank you? Octolings go through extremely demanding physical training activities so our combat proficiencies are always in peak condition. As for myself…” She frowned and looked down. “I do not remember much of my past - perhaps due to Octavio’s control over us. I do not even recall who my parents are. I wonder if they would even be able to recognize me.”

“...”

“...”

An awkward silence fell on the group as that last statement hung in the air. Eight looked out the window, noticing a family of three walking hand in hand down the sidewalk. The Inkling child beamed with wonder as her mother pointed at the various buildings around the Square. I am curious to think if my parents would approve of me, Eight thought. Maybe they would find it amusing that an Octoling is trying to live in peace with her supposed enemies . An uncomfortable thought surfaced in her head. What if they were still under Octavio’s control? What if they did not hear the Calamari Inkantation and were still in the Octo Valley, following orders blindly? She shook off the idea. If they were, I would stop at nothing to free them.

Four slowly released her arm around Eight and chuckled awkwardly. “Oh but the past is in the past! Now is the best time to focus on the present, as they say. I never did properly introduce myself, so I suppose I shall start now. I am Agent Four of the New Squidbeak Splatoon. I was recruited a year ago by the wonderful Agent Two, after which I thwarted the dastardly DJ Octavio and rescued the captive Agent One. A real knight in shining armour story if I do say so myself.”

Eight’s eyes widened. “You defeated General Octavio?” That was impressive - Octavio was seen as a near god-like figure amongst the Octarian Army. To them, there was nobody even remotely similar in power.

“That I did! He was even piloting a monster of a machine - the Octobot King - and I still emerged victoriously.” Four grinned proudly.

Across the table, Three was staring out the window, lazily resting her head on one hand. “I did it first,” she muttered.

Eight clapped her hands. “Amazing! The Octobot King was a marvel of Octarian Engineering. I was not part of the team that was involved in its production, but rumours of its strength were nothing short of legendary.”

“Um, excuse me.” The waitress had returned with their meals, balancing them on a single tray. “A double cheeseburger with fries and a Berry Blast Shake,” she said, placing the meal in front of Three. “One Salty Sea Dog,” she continued, serving Eight her food.

“And.... a salad,” she said dryly, serving a plate containing nothing but a whole head of lettuce and a raw tomato.

Four’s jaw dropped and Three snickered. Eight looked at the plate and nodded in understanding. Very efficient , she thought. By serving the salad in its basest form, this would reduce costs associated with kitchen labour and allow the recipient to prepare their meal in whatever manner they chose.

“Wh- is this a joke? Am I being pranked right now?” Four looked around in bewilderment and out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the cook looking at her, winking with a mischievous grin on his face. She felt the blood rush to her face and she stood up, slamming the table with her fists and startling the waitress. “If you think I’m going to-”

“What, don’t tell me you hadn’t heard,” Three spoke up, rolling her eyes.

Four paused. “Heard what?”

“The new food trend that just came out. S’called the, uh, Zero E.”

“Excuse me?”

“Yeah, stands for Zero Effort. Basically, it’s super fresh not to put any effort into your meals, ‘cause you’re just too fresh to care, you know? Surprised you hadn’t heard of that. You’ve heard of that, right?” Three glanced at the waitress who nodded vigorously.

Four slowly sat back down and stared at the head of lettuce in disbelief. “...seriously...?” she muttered under her breath. “I-I mean, of course I’ve heard of Zero E! In fact, among my social circle we simply refer to it as ‘Z’ because we’re far too elegant to say the entire name. Calling it Zero E is sooo unfresh, Three.” Four giggled and picked up her utensils, as she began to cut into the whole lettuce.

Three grabbed her burger and took a bite. Yep. Total fucking idiot.

Eight looked down at her plate. It seemed to be some sort of meat product nested in a loaf of bread bisected down the middle. There was also some sort of red and yellow paste directly on top of the meat. She raised an eyebrow quizzically but as the aroma of the hotdog entered her nostrils, she began to salivate. She reached for her fork and made a motion to stab her meal before Three quickly stopped her.

“Woah, woah, woah, what are you doing?”

“I am eating my meal.”

“With a fork?”

“Yes. I understand that is the custom here.”

Three sighed.” No, you’re supposed to use your hands when eating hotdogs.”

“My hands?” Eight frowned. She had previously tried using her hands to eat but was told that was incorrect. Maybe certain foods required violence to be applied to them prior to consumption, and others did not. “Okay then.”

Eight gently picked up the Salty Sea Dog by her hands and brought it close to her face. She opened her mouth and took a large bite.

It wasn’t Marina’s pancakes, but it was one of the best things she’d ever tasted.

---

“This is so exciting! I wonder what kind of style suits you best Eight. Perhaps something sleek and modern like a Toni Kensi jacket - oh, oh, - or maybe a more rugged Annaki look would be better.” Four was practically bouncing with joy as they departed the Shrimp Shack and made their way towards the store. As they approached, a large television was displayed out front with the heading, Jella Fresh , featured in a bright, colourful font.

Eight smiled at Four’s excitement. Three was keeping her hands in her pockets as she walked beside them in silence. The automatic doors slid open as they entered Jella Fresh , a soft bell ringing to announce their entrance.

A very bored looking Inkling sitting behind the cashier counter glanced up from his magazine and drawled, “Welcome to Jella Fresh. This week’s featured sale is 25% off all Krak-On merchandise, and a buy one get one-.”

“Silence, peasant!” Four strode in and slammed her hand on the counter. “I wish to see the secret entrance. ” She smirked and narrowed her eyes, flashing an ID card at the cashier who sighed and reached under the table, pressing a hidden button. Behind him, the wall began to shift and slide open, revealing a staircase leading down to the store’s underground.

“Go ahead,” he yawned, focusing his attention back on his magazine.

Four led the way as Eight and Three followed close behind. Eight was especially fascinated. A secret passageway leading to an underground room - how did Four know about this? Did she happen to have exclusive knowledge about the inner workings of the store? Did have connections to the fashion industry?

“Don’t get too excited,” Three spoke as if reading Eight’s mind. “All you need is a store membership card to get in. Literally only costs 500 coins.”

Oh. Well that was disappointing.

“Shush,” hissed Four. As they reached the bottom of the dark stairwell, she held out her arms to the side and turn to face the two. “Behold! Allow me to introduce you to the portal to true fashion freshness!” Behind her, the room began to illuminate as the lights powered on, revealing a large room containing rows upon rows of clothing and apparel.

A catchy hip-hop tune began to play in the background as Eight looked in awe. She could see all manner of colours and shapes present. The clothes were grouped according to brand, with many of the higher end items locked behind glass cases. She approached one of these displays and placed a hand on it, gazing at the intricate design of the jacket within. The colors were outrageously bright and seemed to flow from one shade to another with no rhyme or reason.

“I see you have good taste.” Four said to Eight, walking up to her. “That is from the Takoroka Spring Collection, released just a few months ago. Some say that it’s on its way out, but I know better. Rumour has it that Takeo Takoroka himself is designing a rare, limited, Special Edition version of that jacket and I’ve already made plans to get one before it’s even going to be officially released. Would you like to try this one on?”

Eight pictured herself wearing such an over the top jacket in public and chuckled nervously. “It looks a bit excessive. I am afraid that it would cause me to stand out too much.”

“That’s the whole point, isn’t it?” replied Four. “But if you’re looking for something more minimalistic, may I suggest the newest Zekko tee?” Four grabbed Eight’s hand and pulled her to another part of the store. “It’s made from a new kind of seaweed fibre that blends style and comfort together in such a way that you wouldn’t expect from someone like Zekko, but it really speaks to their creativity and innovation considering that just last quarter they had failed to hit their projected sales numbers and they were…”

Four continued rambling as Eight nodded and attempted to keep up with the conversation. Ultimately she was forced to concede defeat, unable to follow the barrage of fashion jargon being rapid-fired from Four’s mouth. She had to resort to responding with an “Ah” or “I see” whenever Four would take a pause.

Meanwhile, Three had separated from the two, clearly glad to be away from Four, and began to stockpile clothes onto the floor.

---

An hour had passed and Eight was reeling from all the information Four was bombarding her with and it was all she could do not to pass out on the spot.

“Um, Four?” Eight interrupted the overly excited squid as she started to go into excruciating details on the merits of designer fashion over fast fashion.

“Yes?”

“Could we please just pick some clothes for me already?” her eyes were spinning as she took a seat over by one of the display tables.

Four slapped her forehead. “Of course! I had completely forgotten the reason we came here in the first place. Come here, I have some ideas.”

Eight sighed and stood up, following behind Four. Why was shopping for something as simple as clothes so exhausting? The only factors the Octolings considered when it came to clothing were their durability and mobility, while it seemed that the Inklings had a separate dimension by which they planned their wardrobe. Price, design, season, availability, all these were things that Eight had never even considered, much less cared for.

She glanced over at Three who was lying down on a giant pile of clothes, staring at her cellphone. Eight wished she still had her CQ-80 from her time in the Metro, but Cuttlefish had asked to borrow it after they had escaped. He said he wanted to find a way to reverse engineer the device to better understand how the Kanabo Corporation had operated. He told her, That mess with Tartar may be over but something smells fishy about this whole thing. Apparently Kanabo’s just vanished out of thin air and I haven’t got a clue as to why. I’ll look into it a bit more and let you know if I find anything.

Four moved to a rack of exotic clothes and browsed through each one. “Let’s see here. What about…. this.” She shoved a set of garbs at the exhausted Eight and shooed her into a nearby dressing room. “Go on, put it on and let me know how it looks.”

“Okay….” Eight unfolded the clothes Four had given her and frowned. Is this really what Inklings wore? Four is the expert on this subject. I shall bow to her experience in the matter . She removed her leather top and skirt and set about putting on the new clothes.

Four paced outside the dressing room, already holding five different sets of clothes. “Quickly now Eight, we can’t wait to see what you look like.”

After a few minutes had passed, Eight’s muffled voice emerged from behind the curtain. “I think I got it.”

Nervously, Eight pulled back the curtains and stepped outside. She wore a thin, white sundress with a splattered ink design covering the front and back with a variety of different colours. A black ribbon hung from behind the dress and wrapped around her waist tightly, accentuating her figure. Adorned on her head was a white straw hat, decorated with frills and sporting a small blue flower hanging off the band. Eight held her hands behind her back and looked down, blood rushing to her face. “...I feel vulnerable.”

Four gasped and clasped her hands together. “Adorable! So cute! Très bien! Three, you have to see this.”

Three sighed and paused her SplatTube video. “What do you want Four? I’m bus-” Her jaw dropped as she beheld Eight in her outfit, nervously shuffling her feet and shyly looking back at her. Three could feel her face getting hot before immediately switching her attention back to her phone, frowning. “Yeah, looks good I guess.” She quietly opened her Camera app and snapped a picture of the embarrassed Eight without Four noticing.

“Is this really what Inklings wear?” Eight stammered. “I have not passed by anyone outside wearing something like this.”

“Yes, it’s all the rage with the upper class,” Four said, waving her hand dismissively. “That being said, we have far more outfits left for you to try on so chop, chop.” Four handed her the clothes she was holding and Eight quickly retreated behind the curtain, glad to be out of the open.

A moment later she stepped out again, this time wearing a black shirt with visible holes and ripped sleeves. Her shorts were made of denim, frayed at the edges and similarly torn. “I think this clothing is defective. There were already damages to the fabric before I had even put them on.”

“Yes! That style is so fresh !” Four held out her fingers as if she was framing a picture. “The bold and heroic Eight returns after a dangerous mission, her clothes practically ripped to shreds, but does she care? Of course not. Instead, she walks the streets of Inkopolis, a steely look in her eye, daring anyone to say anything. It practically writes itself!”

*snap*

Four turned to the sound and stared at Three who was whistling innocently and very conspicuously trying to hide her phone. Three looked back at Four and scowled. “What?”

“...Nevermind. Anyways, continue on Eight!”

Eight sighed and closed the curtains.

It seemed that there was no end in sight for Eight as Four repeatedly handed her shirts after dresses after jackets. Whenever it seemed that Four was satisfied with what Eight was wearing and that she could finally stop and rest, Four would pull out a completely new outfit to wear. As time passed, the clothes Eight were asked to wear were becoming less and less like proper attire and more and more like undergarments. It had finally reached the point where Eight was down to nothing but a frilly bikini.

She covered her face and tried to hide in embarrassment as she stepped outside the dressing room once more. Eight couldn’t say anything this time - she merely tried her best to cover herself and shook quietly. Can we stop this now? Please. I am so tired.

Four placed the back of her hand on her forehead and leaned back dramatically. “Absolutely beeeauutifull! You have completely captured my heart, Eight. Now there are more things I’d like you to try, give me just one moment while I search for them.”

Eight heart sank as Four stepped to another rack and began searching for even more clothes to wear. She looked up and noticed Three was also covering her face and looking away. Her ears were bright red. O h no. I look like such an idiot. Even Three is laughing at me . The hours of fatigue and frustration finally came crashing down on Eight as tears started to form in the corners of her eyes.

“I’m so tired of this… I-I want to go home…” Eight whimpered as she sat down on the ground and began to cry.

Three’s ears perked up when she heard Eight. Immediately turning towards her, Three saw that she was on the ground, holding her knees close to herself and sobbing quietly. Feelings of anger and worry filled Three as she stood up and ran to the Octoling.

“What the fuck. What the FUCK did you do Four?!” she screamed, quickly grabbing a coat from a nearby rack and wrapping it around Eight.

Four, who had just now noticed what was happening looked at Eight with confusion. “What happened? Wait, is she crying? Why is she crying?”

“Why do you think she’s crying, shit-for-brains?” Three knelt down and placed a comforting arm around Eight. “It’s because you made her put on these stupid fucking outfits for three fucking hours straight without giving her a break or even letting her have a say in on what she actually wanted to fucking wear!”

Four recoiled, biting her lip and clenching her fists. “I-I was just trying to help. I didn’t think this would happen!”

Three merely shook her head and glared at Four, hatred in her eyes, “Just shut the fuck up and leave. Don’t ever talk to us again.”

She turned back to Eight and gently patted her back. “Hey, don’t cry. I’ll take you back home, okay? No need to cry…”

Four began to tremble. “I-I was just… I-I didn’t mean to… please don’t…” Her voice began to break as she fell to her knees and began to wail loudly.

Eight looked up and wiped her eyes, unsure of what was happening. “Four…?” Eight sniffled. “Why are you crying?”

“Because you hate me!!! And now Three hates me too!!!” Tears flowed down Four’s face to the ground, staining the carpet with dark splotches.

Eight slowly stood up despite Three’s protests and walked over to Four. Kneeling down in front of her, she placed a hand on Four’s face. “I do not hate you. There is no need to cry.”

Four looked at her with tear stained eyes and mucus dripping from her nose. “R-Really?” Four sniffled.

Eight shook her head. “Of course not.”

“WAAAHHHH!!!!” Four suddenly jumped forward and wrapped her arms around Eight in a tight hug, burying her face into Eight’s chest. Eight flinched in surprise and, unsure of how to respond, hugged the crying squid back and stroked her head.

“It’s okay, Four. It’s okay,” Eight whispered soothingly.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please tell me you don’t hate me!”

Eight smiled. “I do not hate you.”

“What about Three??”

Three peered down at the sobbing Four and shrugged. “Of course I hate you.”

“WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!”

Eight shot a look at Three who sighed, “Alright, alright I don’t hate you.”

“Thank you Three. I love you!” Four reached up and forcibly yanked her to the ground, hugging her along with Eight. “I love you too Eight!”

Three tried to her push away, to no avail. "Ugh, stop, you're getting snot all over my shirt."

After a few minutes, Eight poked the now calm Four on the cheek and cleared her throat. "If it is okay with you, could I still ask for your help in selecting my outfit?"

Four wiped her face with her coat. “Really? Even after all I’ve been doing? Okay. I promise get I’ll you something super nice to wear. No more weird stuff this time, I swear." She jumped up, skipped towards a table of clothes and gasped. “Oh my cod this Inkline jacket is super duper cuuute ,” she squealed.

Eight tilted her head. Was it just her, or was Four acting differently? Not only had her tone and manner of speaking changed, she also appeared to have adopted a completely new attitude. She pointed this out to Three who smirked.

"Finally realized it huh? Yeah, Four's just pretends to act all snooty and shit.” Three rolled her eyes. “That’s what really pisses me off about her.”

Interesting , Eight thought. Is it possible she puts on a mask in order to conceal her true personality when under the watchful eye of the public? Eight gasped. Is this part of being an Agent? To shroud yourself in mystery in order to prevent your enemies from exploiting any of your weaknesses? Eight considered creating her own fake persona as well.

Four rushed back to Eight, this time handing her a more reasonable amount of clothes. “Okay, okay, so I put a lot of thought into this outfit. I promise it’s not, like, weird or anything.”

Eight nodded, taking the clothes off Four’s hands. “Okay. I believe you this time.” Standing up with the help of Three, Eight made her way back to the dressing room and began changing.

Three crossed her arms. “You better not be messing with her again or I swear I’ll kill you.”

“I told you I’m not this time! Look, she’s gonna come out and you’re gonna be, like, wow Four that looks great, you’re so good at this, I’m sorry for saying all those mean things to you earlier like ‘Never talk to me again’’ even though I didn’t really mean it and also I’m like, super sorry for being such an angry little squid all the time.” Four stuck her tongue out at Three.

“You’re talking like normal again, by the way,” Three pointed out.

Four blinked. “What do you mean?”

“As in, you went from arrogant-bitch-who-I-seriously-wanna-kill to just annoying-bitch-I-wanna-punt-out-my-window.”

“Those are the same things!”

Four frowned and paused for a moment. “Wait do you mean-” Her eyes widened as she began to understand what Three was implying. “Oh sh- I mean - *gu-HACK* - I appear *cough* to have caught something in my throat, pardon me.” Four cleared her throat and took several deep breaths before speaking, “I am not quite sure what came over me, it seems I have been acting like a fool, I apologize.” She fanned herself with one hand. “Dear me, I believe I may have said some rather embarrassing things. I ask that you completely forget everything that happened approximately fifteen minutes ago up until now and never mention it again.”

Three raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, or what?”

“Or I’ll tell Eight you were taking pictures of her without her permission.”

“...”

“...”

“...I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Eight looked at herself in the dressing room mirror. The clothes Four had given her were much more to her liking, but she wasn’t completely sure if it would help her pass as “normal” on the streets of Inkopolis. I hope Three likes it . She pulled back the curtains and stepped outside, noticing that Three and Four were having an quiet, but intense discussion some distance away. The pair immediately ceased conversation as they noticed Eight leave the dressing room.

Four rushed over to Eight and swept her arms wide open in a flourish. “ Et voila! The perfect outfit, flawlessly blending comfort, utility, and style, hand-picked by yours truly.”

I see Four has decided to return to her undercover personality , thought Eight. That is a shame, I would have liked to know more about her true self .

“Allow me to explain this set,” Four said, pointing at each individual piece of clothing. “The white Annaki Evolution tee is a little simple in its design but it’s more about brand recognition than looks. Annaki, if you were unaware, is very popular among squids our age group so it should help you fit in. The Zekko denim shorts further adds to the look and gives you a very fierce appearance.”

Four placed a hand on her chin and nodded before continuing on. “I selected the black Rockenberg Inky Rider jacket, partly because it resembled the jacket you were wearing before and partly due to its functional use. The treated leather should protect your torso from rain, snow, ink, and all manner of harsh conditions. Of course, it’s also an extremely stylish look that will make you the envy of passerby.”

“Finally,” Four concluded, pointing to Eight’s sneakers, “the Enperry Sun & Shade Squidkid Mk V. Released just last week, these are some of the freshest shoes on the market. Durable, stylish, it has everything you could want in footwear. Not only that, but when you run with them on, you’ll feel almost as if you’re floating, thanks to its comfortable cushioning and superior ergonomic design.” Four stepped back and allowed Eight to examine herself at a nearby mirror. “Well? What do you think?”

Eight glanced at Three nervously, waiting for her reaction. Three turned her head away and scratched her arm. “Hey, what are you lookin’ at me for?”

“Is this outfit satisfactory, Three?” Eight said, fiddling with her thumbs. “Do you like it?”

“Why does it matter if I like it?”

“I value your opinion highly. You are my guide to Inkling society, after all.”

Three stared at a nearby display of sneakers and shrugged. “I don’t care about what kind of clothes you wear. As long as it fits and people aren’t looking at you all weird, do whatever you want.”

Eight looked down in disappointment and murmured, “I understand.”

“But…” Three mumbled, her ears turning red. “Right now you look kind of… cute… I guess…”

“Cute,” Eight repeated, a rose tint colouring her face. “I-I see. Thank you, Three.”

Four glanced back and forth between the pair. “Is there something going on between you two?”

“Can we just go?” growled Three in frustration. “We’ve been here for three fucking hours now and I’m just about ready to splat myself.”

“Fine, fine,” said Four. “Come Eight, let us head for the counter.”

Eight hesitated. “I did not bring any money.”

Four waved her off. “I shall pay for this, do not worry. It’s the least I could do since I took up so much of your time.”

“Okay then. Thank you very much, Four.”

The trio headed back up the stairs, eager to depart the store. Behind them, the music grew softer and the lights began to dim as darkness covered the room once more. In the shadows, a solitary red light glowed faintly as a camera zoomed in on the retreating forms of the Agents, before terminating its recording and shutting down with a silent click.

Chapter Text

“Tag, you’re it!” The inkling child tapped her friend on the back and grinned.

The other child stood up and brushed the grass off his knees, pouting. “Aw no fair, I was tying my shoes. I was safe.”

“Hehe, you didn’t say time out so you were still in the game.” The child giggled and started to run away while her friend slumped his shoulders in defeat.

“Aw maaaan….”

Eight smiled at the scene. Inkling children were adorable - so full of happiness and energy, enjoying life without a care in the world. Sitting on a bench, she looked around the park and observed a similar atmosphere; couples were walking hand-in-hand, families were having picnics and teenage Inklings were hanging out with their friends. Eight even saw several of them pass by her on bicycles and what she could only describe as a wooden plank on wheels. They seemed rather impractical, as far as wheeled vehicular transport was concerned. The energy one would require to push themselves forward and maintain that velocity seemed far less efficient than, say, a bicycle. Still, there was something visually appealing about them. An inkling riding one of these wheeled planks jumped in the air, spinning the board around a full rotation, before landing back on it flawlessly.

“Wow,” Eight gasped, clapping her hands. “That was, um, totes wicked fresh m-my dude!” She pointed with both fingers awkwardly and tried her best to give a natural wink, which came across as very unnatural. The skateboarder paused, looking at Eight in confusion before continuing on his way.

She sighed. Did I do that right? She had picked up a little on the slang of the city, partly from overhearing conversations between passerby on street, and partly from chats she would have with Pearl and Marina. She had done her best to practice in the mirror but she still felt awkward saying the phrases, almost as if she was speaking in a different language. Which, to be fair, wasn’t too far from the truth.

Eight reached into her pocket and pulled out her smartphone. It was a gift from Pearl and Marina, given to her a few days after she went shopping with Three and Four.

“Check it, it’s the newest iFoam X,” Pearl said as she handed Eight the white phone. “Lotta new features in this one, way fresher than the last model!”

“Pearl, they didn’t add anything, they just made the screen a little bigger.” Marina sighed and rubbed her temples. “They do this every year, they release a new model without changing anything and sell it for full price. And every time you throw your old phone out even though it still works perfectly fine.”

Pearl snorted. “Yeah but what do you think squids’ll say if they saw a super-fresh pop star like me using last year’s model?"

“We could have just gotten her a Swamsung Galak-sea, like mine,” Marina suggested.

“Nu-uh, no way, Swamsungs are totally lame, we can’t let Eight have something like that.”

“They’re not lame,” Marina retorted. “They’re functional and practical, unlike iFoams which are overpriced, overdesigned pieces of hardware that go obsolete after a few years.”

“Oh no you didn’t!” Pearl pointed at Marina and declared, “That’s it, set up a Splatfest, we’re settling this.”

In the meantime, Eight had already left and already made it to her room before the pair even noticed she was gone. Pearl and Marina would sometimes bicker about the silliest things, and in almost every case, Eight had no strong opinion on the matter one way or another so she had learned to leave before they dragged her into it.

She had noticed, however, that the two always made up after they retired to their room and engaged in what Eight could only imagine as some sort of intense physical exercise for a few hours. It was an odd idea, to exercise in one’s own room rather than a training facility, but it did explain the loud noises and why their faces were so flushed after they were finished. Perhaps I should ask to join them someday. I would be very interested to know what manner of drills and exercises they perform. I might even be able to incorporate some of it into my own activities.

Eight glanced down at her phone. Visually, it was quite a bit different from the CQ-80. This new phone was more or less a giant screen, unlike her old device which would project a holographic image in front of her. Thankfully, apart from the visual differences, they operated quite similarly which allowed her to grasp the basic functions rather quickly. Familiar applications such as calls, messaging, and camera were present, along with additional features she wasn’t familiar with.

Eight scrolled through her contacts list. Pearl had already added several phone numbers like Three’s, Four’s, and of course, hers and Marina's. Four had contacted Eight the night she received her phone, which was strange since she hadn’t actually told her what her phone number was.

“Good evening. Is this Eight I have the pleasure of speaking to?”

“Hello, this is Eight. Is this you, Four?”

“Of course it is, darling, who else could it be? Listen, I have a request to ask of you. Would you care to accompany me to ranked battles tomorrow?”

“Ranked battles?”

“That's correct. It has come to my understanding that Three had you participate in Turf Wars a few days ago. Ranked Battles are similar but not quite as, how do I say, pedestrian .”

Eight recalled her previous Turf Wars experience. It was quite exhilarating and she had enjoyed it immensely. If Ranked Battles were similar, she would be more than happy to participate. She was also excited for the opportunity to spend some time with Four to get to know the Agent better. “Okay. I will come.”

“Excellent! Then let’s meet tomorrow at Moray Park, say, after 1?”

“Okay.”

There was a pause on Four’s end. “...Erm, you do know where Moray Park is don’t you?”

“No. But my phone seems to be equipped with a satellite-based positioning system which should lead me there.”

“I see. Just don’t get lost, alright? Three would never forgive me. Ta-ta for now!”

“Goodbye.” The conversation ended with a click. Opening up her messaging app, Eight sent a text to Three.

“Hello Three, this is Eight. Would you like to come to Ranked Battles with Four and I tomorrow?”

Only a few seconds had passed before the reply came, “no”

Eight blinked. “Why not?”

“cuz ranked battles r annoying af and if 4’s gonna come i think id rather jump off a cliff”

“Very well, but please do not jump off cliffs.”

“just a heads up tho 4 gets REALLY competitive in ranked so dont take anything she says personally”

“Watch out!” a voice shouted behind Eight, interrupting her thoughts. Almost on instinct, Eight stood and spun around, deftly catching a small white ball just inches from her face. A few moments later, a flustered inkling child wearing a baseball cap ran up to her, apologizing profusely.

“I’m really sorry Miss. Me and my friend were playing baseball and he hit the ball too hard and I couldn’t catch it.”

Eight knelt down and offered the ball back in an opened hand. “Do not worry, I was unharmed. But please be careful in the future so you do not hurt anyone.”

The child nodded and took the ball back. “We will, Miss. Thanks.” She turned and ran back to her friend before stopping abruptly and looking back. “Your, um, tentacles look really cool by the way. They look like Marina’s from Off the Hook.”

Eight smiled and nodded, waving her off. She sat back down on the bench, lightly pinching her tentacles. At least they are not too different from Inkling tentacles, she thought. Save for the presence of suckers, they were practically the same. Initially, she was worried they would make her stand out but Inklings were surprisingly accepting and comments about them were sparse - even then, they were almost always compliments. Right now she was more likely to draw attention to herself through her odd mannerisms and bizarre manner of speech. Eight rested her hands on her knees and waited for Four, closing her eyes as she listened to the ambient sounds of the park.

Suddenly a jolt shook her body, making her heart skip a beat. Her eyes widened as an uncomfortable feeling crawled up the nape of her neck, making her shiver.

Someone is watching me.

It was a difficult feeling to explain to others, and she would have most likely been brushed off as being paranoid. However, years of combat training and battle experience had taught her to never ignore her instincts. She furtively glanced around the surroundings but spied nothing out of the ordinary. Inklings were still enjoying the morning sun, and the child who had apologized to her earlier caught her eye and waved at her. Eight waved back uncomfortably, faking a smile.

Being stared at by others wasn’t something foreign to the Octoling, especially in a foreign place like Inkopolis, but this time felt different. It was almost as if whoever was observing her wasn’t doing so out of mere curiosity or fascination. No, what she sensed was nothing short of pure malice.

Eight slowed her breath to calm herself. Losing her composure now would only draw more attention herself. At the first opportunity, she would stand up and calmly walk out of the park towards the city square where she could lose herself in the crowd. If she was followed, perhaps she could attempt to get behind her pursuer and catch them off guard. Gritting her teeth and steeling herself, she made the move to stand when a voice spoke behind her ear.

“Good morning, Eight.”

Four stepped back and raised her hands as Eight jumped. “My, my, I didn’t mean to startle you, I apologize”.

Eight ignored Four and quickly searched around to see if she could spot any suspects, but was unsuccessful. Whoever was watching her, they had vanished.

“Hello? Earth to Eight?” Four waved a hand in front of Eight’s face.

Finally taking notice of Four, Eight focused her eyes on the confused Inkling. “Hello, Four. I did not notice you. How are you?”

“You didn’t? But I was right in front of you. Is there something wrong?”

Eight genuinely considered confiding in Four about what just occurred but decided against it. The last thing she wanted was for Four to be on guard the whole day, or worse, cancel the meetup altogether. It was most likely just my imagination. “I apologize for being distracted. I suppose I am still getting used to unfamiliar surroundings.” Eight laughed nervously. “You are dressed up today. I thought we were planning to do Ranked Battles?”

Four twirled around, her fur jacket sparkling in the sunlight. “Yes, we certainly are. However, it would not do to go outside without making myself look at least slightly presentable. Entering the public eye requires a certain amount of, je ne sais quoi, elegance in my presentation.”

“But enough talk, the Tower awaits,” Four announced, heading off in the direction of the Square.

Eight walked beside her, tension in her every step. Every so often she would glance around, certain that someone was there, but every time there would be nothing. Eventually, as she and Four discussed their day Eight began to relax and her posture became more natural. Yet a small part of her remained wary; Eight trusted her instincts, and her instincts were telling her something was amiss. She hoped with all her heart that this time she was wrong.

…

Stepping into the familiar scenery of the Tower, Four guided Eight towards a lift adjacent to the one used for Turf Wars. Like last time, as the pair stepped on the lift, it began to rise with a soft hum.

“So how does the Rank Battle system work, Four? Is it like Turf Wars?”

Four scoffed. “Do you mean is it anything like that horrid, commoner’s excuse of a game mode? Nothing of the sort, I assure you. Ranked battles are only for the elites for which I count myself as one.”

“The rank system,” she began to explain, “at least in its higher levels, pits only the best competitors in Inkopolis against each other.”

“Unlike Turf Wars,” Four said the name with distaste, “everyone is assigned a ranking, ranging from C- to S+. Everyone starts at C- and since you have never participated before, that will be your rank.”

Eight nodded. “How do you increase your ranking?”

“It’s quite simple, really. Every time you win a Ranked Battle, you gain points and move a little closer towards achieving the next rank. Losing a single battle does not necessarily lead to a drop in points, but repeated losses will cause you to lose all of your accumulated points and demote you in rank. Which means you will have to, how you say, grind it out from the previous rank, once more.”

The ranking system was surprisingly straightforward and something Eight could easily grasp. The Octarian Army chain of command was structured similarly where repeated successful performances would earn you a promotion. On the other hand, a single failed mission would almost always lead to immediate disciplinary action and subsequent demotion; that is if the Octarian managed to escape with their life in the first place. The rigid and high-stress environment of the Army allowed for only the best to take up a position of power. Unfortunately, it also meant that a single honest mistake could cost a perfectly capable individual their status and rank. Eight herself could not remember her own position in the Army, but she was sure that she had commanded at least a small team under her.

The lift slowed to a halt as they reached the weapons room. Like Turf Wars, there were racks surrounding them in all directions, each holding a variety of different armaments.

Four walked around the room, inspecting each individual weapon. “I believe the current mode is Clam Blitz, so something quick and mobile should suffice.” She reached out and selected an Inkbrush from the racks, twirling it around her in an impressive display of skill and dexterity. “Marvelous!”

Eight stood still at the centre of the lift, hesitant to select a weapon.

Four raised an eyebrow. “Eight, what seems to be the problem?”

“Um, I do not think I should use one of these weapons.” Eight thought back to the rental Splatling she used in Turf Wars and how it had quite literally exploded in her hands. “I have had a bad experience with them.”

“Really? I’ve never-” Four clicked her tongue in realization. “You must be talking about the rental weapons they offer in Turf Wars, aren’t you? Ugh, they’re absolutely despicable. They may as well have handed you sticks and clubs for all the use they were. To think that you had to endure such a terrible experience for an inferior game mode breaks my heart.”

She held out her Inkbrush towards Eight. “As you can see, Ranked weapons are regularly inspected and maintained, ensuring only the highest quality. Every weapon here performs as if they were brand new, so you won’t have to worry about any unfortunate mishaps occurring once the battle starts.”

“I see.” Eight studied the Inkbrush. This is rather well-kept, and the quality of the materials appear reliable. Handing the Inkbrush back to Four, Eight approached a rack and picked up a Splat Roller. As she held it in her arms, the lift began to resume its ascent.

“Earlier, you had mentioned that my rank would be C-. May I ask what your rank is, Four?”

Four smirked as she leaned on her Octobrush. “Myself? I don’t mean to brag but you’ll find that I belong to the most prestigious S+ rank. Such a high-class rank befits a high-class lady such as myself, don’t you think?”

“Wow! That is very impressive, Four,” Eight said, clapping her hands.

“Although, I have heard rumours of another rank existing above S+, namely the X rank. But of course, such a thing can’t exist. How can I be so sure? Because if it did exist, I would already have been a part of it! Ohohoho~!” Four covered her mouth with the back of her hand and leaned her head back, laughing loudly as the lift continued to rise.

Eight scratched her head. What a strange laugh. Is it a part of her undercover persona?

Behind her, two other Inklings materialized out of seemingly nowhere. She had expected it this time, but she was curious as to how it actually happened. As far as she was aware, teleportation technology was still in its conceptual stage and wasn’t feasible for use, nor was it going to be anytime soon.

The female inkling holding a Splat Roller, crossed her arms and scowled at Eight. “Shit. Two rollers on the same team, huh? You’d better know how to use that.”

Eight looked at the Inkling in confusion, unsure if she was talking about her.

“Yeah, I’m talking to you, freaky-tentacle girl. What’s your rank anyways?”

“Hello. My name is Eight, I am ranked C-.”

“C minus?! Are you fucking joking me?” The inkling threw her hands up in frustration. “Matchmaking is fucked, I swear to cod, why does is it keep putting us in teams with C minuses?”

The other inkling, another female, tried to calm her friend down. “Now, now, Shelly, everyone’s gotta start off somewhere. And if you think about it, there’s a good chance their team’s gonna have a C- of their own.”

Shelly stomped over to Eight and pointed a finger on her chest. “Listen here newbie, if you’re the reason my rank drops, I swear-”

Four placed a hand on Shelly’s shoulder and forcibly shoved her away. She dusted off Eight’s clothes with her hands and glared daggers at the Inkling. “My, my, it seems that some squids have yet to learn their manners. May I inquire as to why garbage such as yourself are permitted to participate in Ranked Battles?”

“What’d you call me?!” Shelly walked up to Four and stopped inches away from her face. “And what about you, huh? I bet you’re probably just another fucking C rank.”

Four rolled her eyes and pushed Shelly away again. “I swear, the uncouth really need to be taught their place. I assure you, I far, far, outrank you both in skill,” Four turned up her nose. “And class.”

“Say that again, asshole. I’m rank A+ and my friend over there’s rank A-. You still haven’t answered my question. What rank are you?”

Four smirked and chuckled as the lift reached its apex, revealing the battlefield around them. “A+, you say? How quaint.”

Five.

“Come on, Shelly, just drop it,” her friend sighed. “Let’s just win and get out of here.”

Four.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Betcha she’s also a C- too.”

Three.

“Are you ready, Eight? Let’s show these commoners the power of the New Squidbeak Splatoon.”

Two.

Eight silently nodded. “Okay.”

One.

A horn sounded across the field, signalling the start of the battle. Four charged forward while Shelly and her friend headed to the sides. Expertly wielding her Inkbrush, Four inked a nearby tower and changed to her squid form, ascending to the top to get a better view of the battlefield. She spied her two teammates entering into combat with two of the enemy. She witnessed another enemy Inkling with a Slosher colouring the central area with his team’s ink as he collected clams. The final enemy held a Splat Charger and was attempting to flank them by navigating a smaller, lesser known route. Four turned her head and called to Eight.

“Eight! One of them is attempting to flank us. I shall deal with him, while you handle the one in the middle of the battlefield.” There was no response.

“...Eight?” Four looked down just in time to see the Octoling moving forward with the Splat Roller, inking every surface, and flicking her roller at the hard to reach corners. “Eight what are you doing??”

Eight looked up at her and shouted back, “Four, I have successfully inked our spawn beacon and the surrounding area. This should give us a strong lead in points.” Seeing Four’s bewildered face, she quickly added, “Ah, do not worry, I have inked the corners as well.” Giving her a terse nod, Eight rushed off to a different area, unaware that the rules of Ranked Battles were quite different from Turf Wars.

Four’s jaw dropped open. I totally forgot to explain the rules, didn’t I? “No, no, Eight, this is not Turf Wars! Listen to me, you must collect the clams from the ground and- GAK!” Four was cut short as the flanking Inkling reached her position and splatted her from below.

He stuck out his tongue mockingly. “Protip, standing still’s a good way to get splatted, hahaha!”

As Four respawned, she swore under her breath. She was determined to find Eight as soon as possible and clear up any misunderstandings. Spying the familiar trail of a Splat Roller, Four followed it and soon caught up to Eight. “Eight, stop!”

The Octoling turned around and waved. “Hello, Four. Thank you for joining me. I have inked the majority of this area, including corners, as well. Surprisingly, I have yet to encounter an enemy combatant.” Eight puffed her chest out proudly and smiled. “It may be presumptive of me to say, but I believe with this we are currently in the lead.”

Across the battlefield, the voices of the other team could be heard. “We have a Power Clam, go go go!”

Four slapped her face with the palm of her hand. “Not exactly.” Grasping Eight’s hand, Four hurriedly pulled her towards their team’s goal. As they ran, Four quickly explained the rules. “Okay, listen closely Eight. We don’t win this fight by inking the most ground by the end of the round. See this clam?” Four bent down and snatched a clam before tossing it to Eight. “They are scattered through the battlefield. We must collect ten of them and throw them-”

Four ducked as one of the enemy Inklings noticed her and began firing a Splattergun in their direction. Eight followed suit and took cover behind a wall. “I believe we have located the enemy combatants.”

As the enemy inkling approached them, Four quickly superjumped into the air and landed behind the squid, startling her. Four quickly dispatched of the Inkling before wiping the sweat off her brow. “Anyways, for now just eliminate the enemy in the area and collect those clams!” Four tossed a curling bomb and followed its trail as she entered the fight. Thankfully, Shelly and her friend had won their skirmish on their side of the battlefield and were soon poised to attack the enemy goal with a Power Clam of their own. We can do this. We can still do this, Four thought.

Despite the rough start, Four’s team was steadily catching up in points. While Eight still had not yet collected ten clams, she was getting close. Four looked up at the timer.

Thirty seconds remaining, with her team only five points behind. If she could get close to the enemy goal, she should be able to score a goal and secure their victory. Unfortunately, the enemy team was attacking them with renewed vigour, and she, Shelly, and her friend were pinned down behind a piece of concrete. But where was Eight?

Twenty seconds remaining.

Peeking out from behind cover, she spotted the Octoling behind enemy lines, diligently collecting clams. It seems the enemy had not noticed her and were focused solely on the three of them. She counted the number of clams Eight was holding. Seven, eight, nine… As Eight bent down to pick up the tenth clam, all the remaining clams in her hand glowed and merged together into one, large, football-shaped Power Clam.

Ten seconds remaining.

Four pointed to her teammates.“Cover me!”  She stood up from cover and shouted across the field. “EIGHT! YOU HAVE A POWER CLAM! THROW IT!!”

The enemy team turned their heads and noticed what was happening. They panicked and began sprinting back to their goal. “No no no, there was one behind us, someone stop her!

Five seconds remaining.

Eight nodded in understanding and gripped the Power Clam, exhaling slowly. Taking a single sharp breath in, she pulled her arm back and threw the clam. Four gasped. It was nothing short of the perfect throw - the angle, perfectly calculated. The power, perfectly measured. The technique, perfectly executed. It was a throw that would have secured Eight a spot in the Clam Blitz Hall of Fame.

It would have, had Eight not thrown it in the completely opposite direction.

The Power Clam landed in Four’s arms with a soft thud. Four looked up in disbelief as Eight pointed at her with two fingers, winking awkwardly.

The battlefield was silent, nobody could quite understand what had just happened. Four was the first one to say anything.

“EIGHT I DIDN’T MEAN THROW THE BALL AT- GAK!”

The Inkling holding the charger smirked as he splatted Four once again. “What’d I say about standing still?”

And thus, the round ended in defeat for the Agents.

…

“That was exhilarating. I would very much like to do that again.” Eight grinned as she and Four stood in the lobby of the tower. Four hadn’t said a word since they exited the battlefield, while Eight had repeatedly mentioned how much fun the mode was. Noticing her friend’s silence, she turned to Four and tilted her head.

“...Four? You have not said anything this whole time. Are you alright?”

“...Alright? Am I alright?” Four’s voice was deadly quiet. She looked up at Eight and screamed, “Of course I’m not alright!”

Eight flinched and stepped back. Four stepped forward and continued, “We were so close to winning, all you had to do was throw the Clam at their goal. It was literally right in front of you!”

“I-I did not know I was supposed to do that,” Eight stammered.

“Ugh, I can NOT believe this, my day’s just been, like, totally ruined!” Four threw her hands in the air and stepped outside to cool her head. Eight opened her mouth to say something but stopped herself and leaned against a nearby wall, looking down.

Four paced outside the tower, angrily muttering to herself. “The goal was right there! All she had to do… we even distracted them… we would have won...” As she vented her frustrations, nearby Inklings gave her a wide berth, trying to avoid the obviously angry squid. As she started to calm down, and reason started to return to her, a nagging thought repeatedly wormed its way into her mind.

Yeah, but, you never taught her the rules in the first place. “I know I didn’t but-” How was she even supposed to know what to do? It was her first ranked game. “She was-”

Even though she lost, she was still having fun and smiling. And you screamed at her.

Four froze. “I… I…”

Four burst back into the Tower. “Eight! I’m so sorry, please-” She froze as she saw Shelly cornering Eight against the wall. Shelly was screaming at her, just as Four had been doing just a few minutes ago. Eight was looking down and nodding quietly.

Shelly placed a finger on Eight’s chest. “Just quit doing ranked matches and I’m sure everyone would thank you for it. And while you’re at it- ghk...!!”

Four rushed forward and grabbed Shelly by the collar, yanking her into the air. Shelly struggled and attempted to wrest free as she turned to look at her assailant. “What are y-”. She froze when she saw the look in Four’s eyes.

Four bared her fangs in anger as her words dripped with poison. “Listen closely, because I’m going only to say this once. If you EVER touch her again, I am going to destroy you, do you understand?”

Shelly gulped as sweat ran down the side of her face. “O-Oh yeah? I’d like to see you try.”

Four pulled her closer and whispered something in her ear. Eight couldn’t quite hear what was said but Shelly immediately paled and scampered backwards as Four let her go. “Okay, okay, I got it, shit! Just… just don’t come near me!” Shelly ran deeper into the Tower as Four glared at her.

Eight looked up. “Four? What did you tell he-” Eight stopped when Four suddenly wrapped her arms around Eight’s body and buried her face in her shirt. Eight could feel hot liquid seeping through her clothing as Four shook. Is she crying?

“I’m sorry.” Four’s voice was muffled as Eight hugged the sobbing Inkling back.

Eight smiled and chuckled. “This seems very familiar.”

Four looked up at Eight, sniffling, as once again mucus ran down her nose. “I know, I’m the worst! I made you cry only couple of days ago and then I made you cry today all because of a stupid ranked battle that was totally my fault because I didn’t even explain the rules and expected you to know everything even though it was your first time and you were having so much fun and I even yelled at you for something that was my fault because I didn’t explain the-”

“Shh…” Eight placed a finger on Four’s mouth because the squid had begun to repeat herself. “You did not make me cry Four. Three already warned me you are very competitive by nature. I do not blame you for getting angry.”

“Really? Three told you-” Four’s eyes widened. She quickly wiped her face with her sleeve and babbled, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, you cannot tell Three I yelled at you. Please, please, please don’t tell her. I’m really, really sorry that I did but pleaaaase don’t tell her!”

Eight blinked. “I was not going to but why-”

“If Three finds out I yelled at you after what I did last time she’s going to splat me.”

“I see, that is hyperbole.” Eight laughed.

Four looked up at her, dead serious, and responded, “No. I’m not joking. If she finds out she is going to splat me.”

“O-Okay, I will not tell her.”

“Thanks.” Four buried her face back in Eight’s chest. “I hope what that Inkling said didn’t upset you, I saw she was yelling at you pretty loud.”

Eight consoled the squid, patting her head and rubbing her back. The two were met with strange looks from nearby onlookers but Eight didn’t mind. “She did not upset me. In fact, I was not even listening to her.”

“You weren’t?”

“No,” Eight shook her head. “I did not care for what she was saying. I was actually thinking about what I should be eating soon.” As if on cue, her stomach very loudly grumbled, obviously upset about not being fed enough..

Four looked up. “...Eight? Was that your stomach?”

Eight rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. “I suppose now would be a good time to tell you that I have not yet eaten breakfast nor lunch.”

“What? Then we definitely have to go grab some food. I know a couple of super nice places we can go to, my treat.” Four unwrapped her arms from around Eight and tapped the floor with the toe of her foot, looking down. “And, um, Eight? Thanks for being so nice to me.”

“You are welcome, Four. We are friends, after all.”

Four smiled. “Yeah. Friends.” After a pause, she cleared her throat and fixed her posture. “Ahem, I suppose we should get going now. Most of the establishments I frequent often require reservations months in advance but I am sure I can ‘convince’ them to clear a table for us.”

The pair stepped out of the Tower and walked towards the alleyways. “Ugh. I would prefer not taking this route, but alas, this is the quickest way forward. Stay close to me, Eight. There are plenty of miscreants about and it is far too easy to be led astray.”

As they moved forward, following the meandering pathways and taking the occasional turn, Eight made sure to stay vigilant. The surroundings themselves didn’t unnerve her; cramped, close quarters were something that she had grown used to in the Metro. Rather, there was something else that made her uncomfortable, a feeling similar to the one she had felt this morning. She leaned in to Four and whispered, “I believe we are being followed.”

Four nodded silently, not even stopping to ask if Eight was sure. There had been many stories about unfortunate Inklings wandering into these alleys and finding themselves victims of theft, robberies, or worse. She cursed under her breath. Walking in here wearing such expensive clothes might not have been such a good idea. Yet, she kept her composure, and she felt that Eight was doing the same. They were Agents, after all, and high-pressure situations such as this were something they both had plenty of experience in.

As they reached a fork in the alley, Four suddenly stopped and hugged Eight, before loudly announcing, “It was such a pleasure spending the day with you, Eight. Unfortunately, this is where we part ways. I know that this is your first time here but I’m sure if you just venture in that direction somewhere, you’ll find the exit.” Four vaguely pointed to the path leading right.

Eight looked at Four in confusion when the Inkling leaned in and hissed in her ear, “I have a plan. We must split up here for now, but don’t worry. I know these alleys well and I shall see if I can catch this stalker off guard. Do not act out of the ordinary or they may suspect something amiss and run away.”

Eight nodded gravely. She smiled widely and hugged Four back before breaking off. “Very well, Four. While I am unfamiliar with this area, I am certain I can figure it out on my own. Let us meet up again tomorrow.”

Four waved goodbye as she began to walk away into the left path. “Of course, darling. Ta-ta for now!” Soon, Four’s figure vanished as she took a sharp turn down another dark pathway.

Eight calmed herself. She was alone now, in an unfamiliar and potentially dangerous area. While Four may be close by, there was no telling how long it would take for her to respond if she was attacked. However, she reminded herself that the most important thing for her to do right now was act natural. As Four had mentioned, any abnormal behaviours may tip the stalker off to their plans. Walking down the passage to the right, Eight took a deep breath and prepared herself.

It wasn’t long before she realized she was lost. The narrow, twisting pathways all looked the same and judging by the fact that she had passed by the same poster at least twice told her she was walking in circles. Behind her, she could feel that whoever was following her was getting closer. At first, she would only catch glimpses of them whenever she would turn a corner or pause to study her surroundings. But now, they were close enough that she was certain she could hear their footsteps attempting to mirror hers as she walked.

Eight bit her lip. She dared not turn around or take her cellphone out for fear that it might trigger a reaction in the pursuer. As she continued walking, the footsteps grew louder, and she could feel her heart beating faster. Eight quickly considered her options. She was vulnerable and lacking a weapon and at any point, she may be attacked and forced to defend herself. Would she even be able to do so with just her bare hands? As Eight turned another corner, she recoiled as she realized that she had walked directly into a dead end.

As she turned around to head back into the main alley, she froze. A shadowed, hooded figure stood at the entrance, blocking her only means of escape. As they stepped forward, Eight noticed that they were also wearing a tinted gas mask, obscuring their face. Eight took a step back as the figure approached her. Unfortunately, her back was already against the wall and the tight space meant that she had no room to manoeuvre. The hooded silhouette reached into its pocket and pulled something out. Eight felt a sense of dread in the pit of her stomach. A knife?

Just as the figure was a little beyond arm's reach, a loud voice boomed from the entrance of the alley. “Halt, villain!” The startled attacker turned to face the sound and it was in this moment of distraction that Eight decided to act. Rushing forward, she tackled the figure, causing them to drop the object they were holding. It fell to the ground with a loud crack as Four ran to assist her. Eight made sure to keep the struggling, would-be robber face down underneath her, as she pulled their hands behind their back and held on tight.

After Eight had properly secured her hold, Four kneeled down and smirked. “Well, whatever do we have here? Some sort of ruffian attempting to deprive a lady of her valuables? I believe the police would very much like to speak with someone like you. But first, let’s see what you really look like, hmm?”

Four reached out and pulled back the figure’s hood. Two long, black tentacles tumbled out as Four began to unfasten their gas mask. As she pulled it back to reveal their face, Four gasped.

Eight, who was unable to make out the figure from her current angle frowned. “Who is it, Four?”. The body shifted underneath her and turned to look at her. Eight squinted. This is… They looked so familiar yet she couldn’t quite remember where she had seen that face.

“Callie?!” Four, who had finally regained her composure, suddenly spoke up.

The black-tentacled pop singer closed one eye and grinned innocently.

“Surpriiiiise~”

Chapter Text

“Nooooo, not my phone! I just bought it...” Callie sobbed as she gently cradled her cracked iFoam X. It had been knocked out of her hand when Eight tackled her, something the Octoling had continually apologized for.

“You don’t have to apologize, Eight. Apparently, some squids lack the self-awareness to realize that gallivanting about in a thug’s attire tends to invite some serious consequences.” Four rolled her eyes as Eight helped Callie up from the ground.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Callie asked defensively, brushing the dust off her hoodie.

“What isn’t wrong with what you’re wearing?” Four pointed at the gas mask she was holding in her hand. “To begin with, why on Earth did you even decide to wear something like this?”

Callie snatched her mask back with a humph. “I’m an extremely popular idol. If I go out in public I have to hide my face somehow, otherwise I’d just be attacked by fans everywhere I go.”

Eight tilted her head. “Would sunglasses not be a simpler way to conceal your identity? While it may not cover your entire face, I believe that wearing a gas mask like that would be far too conspicuous and may actually draw unwanted attention.”

“Yeah, well, about that…” Callie looked away and grinned awkwardly. “Marie’s kinda banned me from wearing any kind of sunglasses after a little incident I had with some Hypnoshades.”

“Incident?” Four blurted out. “As in singular form? Callie, I had to rescue you from Octavio five times because you kept putting those ridiculous glasses on and freeing him from his prison.”

The pop idol waved her off. “Yeah, yeah, I did it a couple of times but who’s counting?”

“Who’s count-” Four’s mouth dropped in bewilderment. “Well, obviously I am counting! I just said-”

Eight cleared her throat and interrupted. “Excuse me, Miss Callie?” She tapped the squid on the shoulder.

“Huh?” She turned to Eight. “Oh, you can just call me Callie. Or Agent One. But I prefer Callie. Right, you’re the newest member of the New Squidbeak Splatoon, aren’t you? Agent Eight, right? And you’re an Octoling too, that’s super fresh.”

“Ah, yes, that is correct.” Eight shuffled on her feet nervously. She hadn’t expected to meet one of the Squid Sisters this way, much less in such a shady place. It was because of them and their music that she was freed from Octavio’s control and effectively given a second chance at life. To say she was nervous would be an understatement. “I would just like to say it is an honour to finally meet you face-to-face. Your music-”

“Wait just a moment,” Four interjected. “Callie, you still haven’t explained why you were prowling around the area and following us like some sort of criminal.”

“About that,” Callie opened her screen-cracked phone and using the Camera application, took a selfie with a very confused Eight. “Gramps told me we were getting a new member so I got really excited to meet them. But when he told me they were an Octoling that had defected, that got me really hyped and I couldn’t wait any longer so I decided to meet her myself. Didn’t expect it’d turn out like this though.”

“You could have called out to me,” Eight pointed out. “I would not have reacted with such aggression if I had known it was you.”

“I was going to, honest. But between you and me...” Callie narrowed her eyes and looked around suspiciously. “This place is seriously creepy and I was worried if I spoke up some random creepo would’ve noticed me and started stalking me or something.”

“Yes, could you imagine,” Four deadpanned.

Eight nodded in understanding. Being lost in an area like this, it was in your best interest to attract as little attention as possible. Predators often preyed on the weak and lost, and it wasn’t too difficult to tell if someone passing through looked like an easy mark. It was especially dangerous for someone like Callie, whose potential value as a hostage would draw the interest of every criminal in the vicinity.

“Actually, I had noticed that you were observing me at the park earlier today. If you were worried about drawing unwanted attention to yourself, you could have simply approached me. I doubt that anyone would have noticed your presence.” The park was filled with Inklings, true, but they were all too preoccupied in their own activities. Even if someone like Callie had shown up, as long she didn’t announce her arrival, it was unlikely for them to even give her a second glance.

Callie frowned. “What do you mean? I wasn’t at the park earlier.”

Eight paused. Callie wasn’t there? But she had definitely felt someone watching her then. Who could-

ggrrgrggllgl

Her thoughts were interrupted as her stomach grumbled again, to an embarrassingly loud degree. Eight wrapped her arms around her stomach to mask the noise but it was obvious from the looks of both Callie and Four, she had failed. She covered her face in embarrassment as the tips of her ears turned red.

Callie smirked. “Wow. That was really loud. Did you wanna get some food or something?”

“As a matter of fact,” Four stated, “we were about to head to Chez Aqua for an afternoon meal. I don’t suppose you would care to join us?”

Callie placed a hand on her chin thoughtfully. “Chez Aqua, huh? That’s that really fancy five-star restaurant, isn’t it? I guess I could come but I don’t think we’ll be able to get in without a reservation.”

Four smirked. “Worry not. I am certain that we will be able to secure the finest table there.”

“If you say so.” Callie looked around. “So, uh, how exactly do we get out of this place?”

“Worry not, we are but only a few minutes away from the exit.” Four pointed behind her. “If you would follow me, I shall guide us outside.”

As Four said, it wasn’t long before the group found their way out of the labyrinthine alleyways. She was strangely familiar with the area - she knew every turn and hidden passageway like the back of her hand, which piqued Eight’s curiosity. It is obvious that Four has spent a lot of time in this area, to be so familiar with it. I wonder why?

As they emerged blinking into the brightness of the main street, Eight noticed a large gated-off area in the distance. Tall, smooth, white walls surrounded the space, blocking the view of most of the interior, although she could see several trees poking above them. She squinted to get a better view of the entrance - it seems there were several Inklings in suits standing guard outside, with one of them holding what appeared to be a clipboard.

Those appear to be Ink-proof walls, and the area is highly secured. Eight pounded her fist into her hand. Of course. This must be the Inklings’ Weapons Research and Development Facility. The Octoling was impressed - this was the first time she had seen a building devoted to military operations in Inkopolis. She had just assumed that the Inklings had hidden them all underground, just as the Octarians had.

Four and Callie proceeded to walk towards the facility, idly chatting about future Splatfests, when all of a sudden Eight stopped. They turned to her with confused looks on their faces. “Eight? Are you alright, darling?”

Eight had closed her eyes and was deep in thought. Certainly, while Octarian excursions into Inkopolis have historically never happened, it would stand to reason that their facilities still remain heavily guarded. While the average Inkling may not realize that I am an Octoling, it would be foolish to assume that well-trained guards would not recognize me immediately. If I approach the area, it may appear as if I was an enemy combatant attempting to trespass and it is possible they may attempt to neutralize me. Even with Four and One here, they may still attempt to detain me for questioning. I must consider alternative solutions to avoid detection.

Four and Callie continued watching in confusion as Eight took off her jacket and hastily attempted to wrap it around her tentacles into some sort of makeshift turban.

“Hey, uh, Eight? Whatcha doing there?”

“I am concealing my tentacles to avoid arousing suspicion.” Eight frowned as one of her tentacles fell out of her turban, before she shoved it back inside. “It may not be the most ideal of disguises, but I believe it will suffice for the purpose of passing through.”

Four walked over to Eight and unwrapped the jacket from around her head, much to the Octoling’s protests. “Eight, I am not quite sure what you’re thinking, but putting something like that on is going to do anything but avoid suspicion. Now tell us, what’s this all about?”

Eight pointed at the walled area. “I had noticed we were planning to walk past the Weapons Facility up ahead. As an Octoling, it may appear to them that I am a hostile entity attempting to gather intelligence and as such, I was concealing my tentacles to avoid any misunderstandings. But do not worry, I swear that I will not make mention of its location to anyone else. In fact, I will make sure to not even glance inside as we walk past.”

“Pardon me?”

“I will admit that the Ink-resistant surfaces on the walls are an impressive feature; it would prevent anyone from climbing up through the side and entering without notice.” Eight nodded in appreciation at the ingenuity of the design. “However, I do question the decision to place the facility in such an open area like this. Perhaps it is merely a facade and much of the facility is hidden underground?”

Four opened her mouth to say something but hesitated, not quite sure what to say. Callie suddenly burst out laughing and bent over, clutching her stomach as tears formed at the corners of her eyes. Eight tilted her head. Had she said something wrong?

“Eight, dear, I…. how do I put this…” Four said, scratching her arm. “That’s not a Weapons Facility. That’s Chez Aqua. It’s a restaurant.”

Callie had fallen to the ground and was rolling on the pavement, laughing uncontrollably. “Weapons… weapons facility! I can’t- ahahaha!!”

Eight felt her face getting hot with embarrassment. “I-I see. It is a restaurant. It seems I have misunderstood.”

“It’s quite alright. I can see why you would think that. it is a rather impressive sight.” She turned to Callie and scowled. “Oh, do be quiet Callie, Eight is new to Inkopolis. You cannot blame her for misunderstanding.”

“Ooh, ooh, ahaha…” Callie took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her eyes as she stood up. “Okay, I’m good, I’m good. Sorry for laughing Eight, it’s just, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“But why are there security guards present?” Eight asked.

“Chez Aqua is a place of high-class cuisine,” Four answered. “It would not do to have riff-raff coming and going on the premises as they pleased.”

“A-And the Ink-proof walls?”

“Marble. Makes for quite the elegant look, wouldn’t you agree?”

“...I see.” Eight had made similar mistakes before, misunderstanding a foreign phrase or concept, but she had never felt embarrassed about it. She had taken them as learning experiences and wasn’t concerned with what others thought. But there was something about Callie’s presence that unnerved her. Perhaps because Callie had saved her that Eight was trying her best to impress her and avoid making any mistakes.

“Don’t sweat it Eight.” Callie patted her on the back. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to everything soon enough.”

Four nodded. “Indeed. Now, shall we go?”

Eight donned her jacket and walked with the two as they headed towards the walled-off area. Once at the front gate, one of the Inklings wearing a suit and sunglasses held out his hand to stop them. “Good afternoon ladies. Do you have a reservation with us today?”

“I’m afraid not,” Four replied.

“Then I’m sorry, but I can’t let you in. You can book a reservation on Splatnet or by giving us a phone call. Would you like the number?”

The short-tentacled Agent stepped forward. “Oh, that won’t be necessary. I’m sure you’ll reconsider for us?” She raised an eyebrow knowingly and smirked.

The security guard narrowed his eyes. “I’m not really sure what you’re implying but I’m going to have to ask you all to leave.”

“Wait, don’t you recognize me?”

“Not a clue. Listen, if you don’t leave now I’m going to call for backup.” The guard looked at all three of them individually, stopping when his gaze fell on Callie. “Wait, are you…?”

The pop-idol winked and waved, “Yahoo~, that’s right, it’s Callie from the Squid Sisters!”

“I, uh, just give me a sec,” the guard stuttered, before turning away from them touching his earpiece. “Yeah, sir? I’ve got a situation. It’s one of the Squid Sisters. Yeah, Callie...no, there are two others with her… no, she’s…. yeah, okay. Okay. Got it.” He turned back to them, wearing a courteous smile.

“Ah, yes, one reservation for Callie and her guests. We’ve got your table set up and ready for you. If you would please just follow me inside.” The guard signalled to a nearby camera with a wave. A loud beep was heard before the gate slowly opened inwards, revealing the restaurant’s courtyard.

Eight gasped. It was one of the most beautiful sights she had ever seen. Behind the gate, lush green grass covered the ground, glistening in the afternoon sun. Tall pine trees lined the perimeter, and flowers of all manner of colours were arranged into long, neat rows throughout. Directly in front of them, a cobblestone pathway led into the centre of the courtyard where a large stone fountain stood. It consisted of three basins stacked on each other, each smaller than the last. At the very top stood an Inkling Angel with wings outstretched, holding its hands together in prayer as water sprayed out from in between them. Nearby, several well-dressed Inklings were laughing loudly and holding conversations in a white gazebo. A few feet away from them, sparrows were resting in a birdbath as a live string quartet softly played an entrancing melody.

This is incredible, Eight thought. The sights and sounds of the city had amazed her when she first stepped out of the Metro, but there was something about the serenity and calmness of the courtyard that resonated in her.

“This way, please.” The guard led them deeper in the yard, past the bubbling fountain, and towards the main building. In contrast to the classic look of the walls and the courtyard, the restaurant itself favoured a more modern look. It was shaped in a geometric style, with sharp straight lines forming the rectangular frame of the building. The walls of the restaurant were made almost entirely of glass and the entirety of the interior could been seen from the outside. There were several floors to the building, with dining tables present in all but the top, which seemed to contain only one, large table.

As they walked, Four had her arms crossed and was grumbling to herself. “How dare they not recognize me! I shall demand to have a word with the manager of this establishment and give them a stark reminder of just who they are dealing with. Hmph!”

Callie rolled her eyes and moved beside Eight. “So what do you think, Eight? Betcha there wasn’t anything like this back in the Octo Valley.”

Eight simply nodded, unable to respond. She was looking around in a trance, enraptured by the beauty and tranquillity of the surroundings as they continued forward.

The group soon reached the entrance to the restaurant proper where another Inkling in a suit stood waiting. She nodded and held the door open for them as they entered. The restaurant was busy, and yet unlike the Shrimp Shack, the atmosphere was much more relaxed. Soft conversations were held between Inklings sitting together as waiters waltzed around the room quickly, deftly taking orders and delivering food, yet they moved in such a way that they never actually bumped into each other. Their movements resembled a well-rehearsed dance, and the soft music coming from a nearby grand piano only served to highlight this. Their guide led them to a nearby elevator and as they stepped inside, soft music played from the wall speakers around them. The guard pressed the button for the top floor and the elevator began to rise, almost completely silent. When they reached the top with a soft ding, the guard ushered them outside before stepping back into the elevator.

“The waiters will be with you shortly, I hope you enjoy your meal,” he said with a bow.

The penthouse room was just as gorgeous as the courtyard outside. The wooden floors were freshly polished and covered in a white fur rug. The corners of the room were decorated with exotic plants and colourful flowers, trimmed and arranged in such a way that the colours blended together beautifully. A long dining table sat in the centre of the room, draped in a white tablecloth and featuring a golden centrepiece of an Inkling standing in a full suit of armour. There were plates and various utensils already prepared and arranged for the three of them, along with as several wine glasses and napkins folded on the plates. Above the dining room table hung a massive crystal chandelier, sparkling as it reflected sunlight from the outside. Nearby, a large aquarium was pushed up against the wall, containing several underwater plants and sea life. One fish glowed a pale yellow as it swam between a small stone castle inside.

Four walked over to the window and looked down at the courtyard. “I suppose this room will have to do. I shall accept it as compensation for how rudely we were treated at the entrance.” She turned to Callie. “Though I must admit that I am surprised that they were familiar with your work, Callie. I don’t mean to sound rude but I had not expected your music to appeal to those of the upper class.”

Callie shrugged as she took a seat by the table. “What can I say? The Squid Sisters are international pop stars. You don’t have to be rich or poor to enjoy our music. Actually, now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure me and Marie played here at one point.”

“Really? You’ve performed at this restaurant before? It was Marie’s idea, wasn’t it?.” Four smiled and nodded in approval. “Of course it was, I didn’t even need to ask. Only a squid as elegant and cultured as her would have realized the value of playing in a sophisticated establishment like this. Ah, she is so wonderful…” Four closed her eyes and placed her hands on her cheeks as they coloured a faint pink.

Callie rubbed the bridge of her nose and shook her head as she mumbled, “Ugh, I swear I have no idea what Marie sees in you…”

Eight took a seat on the table beside Callie. She looked down at the plates and utensils spread out in front of her and nodded confidently. She had practiced for this. Indeed, after prowling Splatnet and seeking advice from Pearl and Marina, she had finally memorized which foods required utensils which ones were simply eaten with bare hands. She had embarrassed herself earlier but now was her chance to impress the pop star and redeem herself.

Four walked over to the table and sat down beside Eight, placing the Octoling between her and Callie. “I do apologize if this all seems new to you, Eight. But never fear, I shall instruct you on the proper table etiquette once our meals arrive.”

“It is okay, Four. I have done research on proper mealtime customs and mannerisms on Splatnet and I believe I will be able to perform this task satisfactorily.”

“Really?” Four raised an eyebrow. “Well, then it seems I have underestimated you.”

It wasn’t long before the elevator doors re-opened and a group of two waiters and a waitress stepped out. They were all wearing similar uniforms - long-sleeved white dress shirts and black ties underneath a black waistcoat. They also sported black dress pants and shoes, giving them a sharp look of professional elegance.

As they approached the dining table, the head waitress bowed politely. “Welcome to Chez Aqua. My name is Lucene and I will be your maître d'. I apologize for not greeting you at the entrance, but your unexpected arrival caught us off guard.” She shook her head. “Ah, but it is poor manners to make excuses for my own failings. Regardless, it is a pleasure to be serving one of the world-famous Squid Sisters and her guests. May I offer you the menu?”

“You may,” Four replied, as one of the waiters handed them their menus.

Eight looked down at the list in front of her, her confidence draining almost instantly. She had expected something similar to the Shrimp Shack, with appetizers, main courses, and desserts separated into neat, orderly, easy-to-understand groups. But this menu was vastly different. To begin with, it seemed that the entirety of the meals served by the restaurant fit onto a single page. She had tried turning the menu around to see if she had misunderstood, or if she simply had to wait for more pages to be given to her, but it seems that this was it. Secondly, it seemed that every food item was grouped together into one of three broad categories. It appeared that each of these categories contained pre-selected meals and that she was unable to order individual dishes. Eight read the name of each meal group in her head, uncertain if she was even pronouncing them correctly. La Vie. Joie. Amour.

She leaned in and whispered to Four. “Excuse me, Four? I do not understand this menu. How do I order only one meal? It seems everything is grouped together.”

The inkling whispered back, “Indeed, Chez Aqua uses a prix fixe menu system as opposed to the à la carte system favoured by lesser establishments. Simply select which of the three speaks to you and everything there will be served throughout your meal. Convenient is it not?”

“If you say so…” Glancing back at her menu again, Eight squinted. Nothing on the menu really “spoke” to her, as Four had suggested. Eight prided herself on her excellent language comprehension skills but she could barely understand a word that was written down. I do not understand. What is an hors d'oeuvre? I have never heard of it before. She refrained from asking the question out loud; the last thing she wanted was to unintentionally make a fool of herself. Perhaps I can decipher what it is based on the linguistic similarities it may have with other words in the Inkling language. Let me see... it seems to somewhat resemble the word ‘hotdog’ so I can assume that they are similar. If that is the case, then perhaps I should select this one. But I may be mistaken and they might be completely different...

“Pardon me,” the maître d' cleared her throat. Eight looked up, surprised to see that all eyes were on her. “I am by no means rushing you, but have you made a decision, madame?”

“Um… I…” She looked around in a panic. How did the others order so fast? She meekly pointed at Four and gulped, “I shall have the same as her.”

The head waitress nodded politely. “Very well. We shall be back shortly.” The three staff stepped back into the elevator and promptly disappeared.

Four beamed, “I see you have excellent taste, Eight. The La Vie selection truly contains the finest cuisine this restaurant has to offer. You won’t regret it!”

Eight turned to Callie nervously. “If you do not mind me asking, what did you select Callie?”

Callie glanced up from her phone as she feebly attempted to fix the cracked screen by blowing hot air on it and rubbing it with the cloth of her hoodie. “Huh? Oh, I just picked a random one. I literally could not understand a word on that menu so I kinda just, like, gave up.”

 “I-I see…” Eight stared out the window in front of her. My research certainly did not prepare me for this. But I believe I can overcome this challenge, as long as I behave properly.

“So Callie,” Four spoke up. “How are the Squid Sisters doing these days? I don’t suppose you have any concerts coming soon?”

“Not really. After that whole mess with the Metro, we’ve kinda been working overtime to figure out what our next move should be.” Callie frowned. “I mean, if there’s such a thing as a superweapon capable of wiping out Inkopolis, there’s a good chance there’s another one hiding out there somewhere. At least, that’s what Marie thinks.”

“That is true,” Eight agreed. “That Tartar was able to conceal such a massive weapon to such a degree is impressive, and quite unnerving. And technologically speaking, the weapon was amazing - I had never encountered something like it before. There was nothing like it in the Octarian Army.”

“So do we currently have any leads?” Four asked.

“Nothing right now, but I’m sure Gramps will keep us posted if he finds anything. That’s kind of the reason why I managed to find some free time to hang out like this. We’ve hit a dead end right now and until we get any new info, we pretty much have nothing else to do.”

“Ah,” Four said, looking away. “Then Marie is... free... then?”

Callie stared at her. “You know, if you wanna go out with her, just ask her. I’m pretty sure she’ll say yes.”

The Agent blushed a beet red as she turned to Callie and stuttered, “G-Go out with her? What do you mean by that? I-I’m not interested in her or anything, stupid! You’re stupid!”

“What does going out mean?” Eight asked.

“It means Four wants to go with Marie and do some one-on-one activities, if you catch my drift,” Callie winked and nudged Eight with her elbow.

Four covered her ears, trying to shut out any noise. “No I don’t! Shut up Callie!”

The black tentacled pop-star laughed at the red-faced Agent and continued teasing her. “You know, Marie secretly likes romantic movies so maybe you should take her to see one? Maybe you’ll even be able to sneak an arm around her and then when the plot heats up you could even try stealing a kiss.”

"Nooooo!!"

Meanwhile, the Octoling between them was deep in thought. One-on-one activities? What could that mean? Racking her brain, Eight tried to imagine what that implied. A thought popped in her head - Pearl and Marina would often perform similar one-on-one activities with each other at home which would mean... She gasped in realization. Of course! Advanced Agent Training! It was obvious - even among the Octarians, private training sessions were secretly organized between the elites and the superior officers to strengthen and boost their abilities as soldiers. Being selected for such a trial was considered a great honour as it signified that one had shown the potential for growth. If an Octoling could survive the challenges prepared for them, it was very likely they would be promoted. However, being selected for such sessions would often come unexpectedly - it was done so in order to keep the Octoling on guard at all times. They were never allowed to actually make a request for advanced training on their own, but perhaps it was different in the Squidbeak Splatoon. With Callie here, maybe there was a chance for her to ask about the possibility of receiving this secret training.

It was a foolish idea, a small part of Eight knew. But between the unfamiliar atmosphere throwing her off balance and sheer hunger clouding her better judgement, she grew bold. Gathering her courage, she took a sharp breath in. She could not let such a moment slip by her without at least trying.

“A-Agent One!” Eight practically yelled as she stood up, startling the two Inklings beside her. They looked at her in confusion, as she closed her eyes. She took another deep breath before declaring, “While I may be only a fresh recruit to the Splatoon, I humbly request that you go out with me!”

Callie and Four stared at the Octoling in stunned silence for what seemed like an eternity. Wait, wait, wait, WHAT?!

“U-Um, I-...” Callie started to speak before Eight interrupted her.

“I beg you. While I may be an amateur, I am sure that someone with as much experience as you will be able to properly guide me.” Inkling battle tactics, strategies, formations, these were all things that Eight had little to no experience in. In fact, other than Agent Three, she had never actually fought against Inklings in a real battle situation. Learning under the guidance of someone like Callie, one of the most veteran members of the Splatoon no less, would be an invaluable opportunity.

“I mean, I’m really flattered, but I’ve kind of just met you and I-I’ve never actually gone out with anyone before so-” She looked to Four, panic in her eyes, but received no help as the Agent was texting madly on her cellphone.

“Three omg omg”

“wait who is this how did you get my number”

“It’s Four! Omg you won’t believe this but Eight just asked Callie out”

There was a pause. “...oook idk if ur trying to be funny or w/e but ur srsly not good at it”

In response, Four sent a video. Eight was grasping a flustered Callie by her hands, their faces only inches apart. “Please! I will do anything so you will go out with me.”

There was no response until Four’s phone suddenly began to ring. Answering the call, she turned away from the other two as she whispered, “Three, is this-”

“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!”

Four recoiled before quickly responding, “Chez Aqua, a few minutes walk from the Tower. You should come quickly, I think Callie’s about to pass out.” She waited for Three’s response before she realized that she had already hung up.

Four stood up and tried to get between the two. “Eight, darling, please calm down! Why the sudden outburst?”

Eight turned to her and begged, “Please, Four. Allow me to go out with Agent One. I am sure you can also ask Agent Two to go out with you, and perhaps we can even engage in group activities together.”

“You mean… like a d-double date?” Four sank back into her chair and covered her face. “A double date… with Marie…”

Callie gritted her teeth. “Okay, seriously Four? You suuuuck, oh my cod, you’re not helping at all!” She looked at Eight who was still holding her hands and gently wrested them free. “Listen, Eight. I know you’re eager but you can’t ask someone you just met to go out with you. There’s a whole process involved!”

“A process?”

“Yeah, yeah! You have to get to know them first and like, start off as friends, and that kinda stuff before you pop the question.”

Eight stepped back as she realized her folly. Of course there would be a procedure to go out with someone! It would not make sense for a subordinate to ask her superior officer for special training without following the proper protocol. I have acted too rashly. “Of course, I understand. Once again I have made a fool of myself.” She bowed her head in shame. “Please, forgive my rudeness.”

Callie chuckled and patted Eight on the shoulder. “It’s totally cool, don’t sweat it. I know you’ve just moved here so you’re probably new to this whole thing.”

“I am. Then, as per your instructions, should we start off as friends?”

The pop-idol smiled. “Yeah, that would be a good idea.”

“Then I assume there will be a request form to sign before I can formally apply for training?”

“Wait, training?”

There was a sudden crash in the restaurant below as Inklings could be heard shrieking and yelling. Eight overheard the voice of the security guard who had guided them inside shouting, “Stop right there! You can’t just come in-GAH!” The banging of footsteps could be heard rapidly ascending the stairs, and the three Agents turned their attention to the entrance of the nearby stairwell, readying themselves for whatever could come barrelling out of the door. Four reached for her fork while Eight and Callie each picked up a dinner plate, ready to throw them at a moment’s notice, when a familiar green-tentacled Inkling kicked the door open, covered head to toe in various ink splats.

“Three?” Eight stared in shock as Three rested her hands on her knees and bent over, gasping for air.

She held up a finger and sputtered, “Give… give me a sec… holy shit, I can’t breathe…”

“Why are you covered in ink?” Callie asked, relaxing her grip on the plate.

“Was in the middle… of a Turf War… jumped from… the stage... “ Three hobbled to the aquarium and dunked her head inside, frightening the fish away.

“You jumped from the Tower?!” Four gaped in bewilderment. “The Tower is over five hundred feet high. How in the world did you even survive that?”

Three pulled her head out of the tank and wiped her face. “Phew. Okay, that’s better. Anyways, it doesn’t matter. What’s the shell’s this about Eight going out with Callie?!”

Eight shook her head. “You misunderstand, Three. It appears I have approached this situation incorrectly. I was told that I would have to be friends with Callie first. We can not go out just yet.”

“Yet??” Three looked at Callie with wide eyes who shrugged incredulously.

“Yes. Then once we are good friends-” Eight stopped, a thought entering her mind. Once we are friends… but if we are already friends… Suddenly, the Octoling gasped and smiled widely. She rushed over to Three and held her hands as the Inkling recoiled and flushed.

“Three. We are already friends, are we not? Please, go out with me.”

Three’s eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed quickly, unable to make a sound.

“Oh wow, she moves on quick,” Callie mused. Four frowned and rubbed her chin.

“Wait a moment. There is something amiss about this, and if I know Eight, I am willing to wager that she is completely misinterpreting the situation. Just to check...” She called out to Eight who turned to her.

“Yes, Four?”

“Just out of curiosity, what do you think ‘going out’ with someone means?”

Eight blinked. “As Callie had explained, to go out with somebody means to perform one-on-one activities with them. I took this to mean a personal training exercise between the two. Am I incorrect?”

The three Inklings stared at her. Four slapped her face while Callie formed her lips in an “oh” shape and Three fell to one knee, her hands still being held by Eight.

“So that’s what she meant by ‘training’ earlier. Honestly, I probably should’ve seen that one coming,” Callie said.

“But if it does not mean to train together, then what does it mean?” Eight glanced between the three of them in confusion.

Three grit her teeth. “It means you go out on a date with them! You’re not supposed to ask random squids to go out with you.” Ugh, can’t believe I ran five fucking blocks for this.

“She is correct,” Four added. “Going out is reserved for someone special, someone you like.”

“But,” Eight tilted her head and looked into Three’s eyes earnestly. “I do like you, Three.”

“Kh…!” Three pulled her hands away and stood, her face burning up. She turned and began walking to the stairs. “I’m going back to the Tower.”

Callie leaned in to Four and whispered, “Psst, is there something going on between those two?”

“I believe so. You should have seen her when we went shopping together,” Four whispered back.

“Ooh, this sounds interesting.”

“Well, it started when-”

Beep, beep. The four Agents stopped when their phones all ringed and vibrated in unison. They glanced at each other quizzically. Callie was the first one to check her phone as she called out to the group. “Text from Gramps. You all got it too?”

The others nodded in assent as they opened the message, unsure of what to expect.

“TROUBLE IN CUTTLEFISH CABIN. COME NOW!”

“Cuttlefish Cabin? What’s hap-”

Callie rushed out of the room before the others had even looked up from their phones.

“Callie, wait!” Four called after her.

“Gramps is in trouble, and Marie’s the only one else with him. Something bad must’ve happened. What are you all doing?! Hurry up!”

Four turned to Eight and Three, who both nodded in response. Quickly running after Callie, they raced down the stairs and headed in the direction of the Square. As they ran, Eight’s stomach grumbled once more as she sighed.

When will I get to eat?

Chapter Text

The Agents ran at a breakneck pace, and to their credit, they had done a remarkably good job at navigating the busy streets of the city, all while avoiding obstacles in their path. They nimbly scaled fences and hopped over concrete barriers in an amazing display of parkour. What would have taken a normal squid ten minutes to run from Chez Aqua to the entrance grate of the Octo Valley, it took them only five. This was especially impressive considering that one of them had only very recently sprinted herself beyond exhaustion and another had not eaten for well over fifteen hours. Truly, the resilience and physical capabilities of the New Squidbeak Splatoon were something the average Inkling or Octoling could not hope to match. Unfortunately, the group ran into a little complication as they neared their destination.

Three stared at the large crowd that had gathered in front of her, their backs turned as they cheered loudly. She clenched her fists as she struggled to keep a level voice. “So let me get this straight, ‘cause I just wanna make sure I’m understanding this right. We got a text from the Captain, saying to meet him at the Cabin.”

“Correct.” Four sat by a circular, metallic table in front of a food truck, resting a hand on her chin as she browsed her phone in boredom.

“And it was really urgent and we were supposed to get there right away.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And since Marie and Cuttlefish are the only ones there, there’s a reaaally good chance they’re in a shit ton of trouble right now.”

“Absolutely.”

“So if that’s the case... “ Three grit her teeth and screamed in frustration. “WHY THE FUCK IS CALLIE DOING A CONCERT RIGHT NOW?!”

The roar of the crowd drowned out Three’s voice as in front of them, Callie danced boisterously on a makeshift stage, a large boombox blasting Squid Sisters music behind her. She twirled and winked at the crowd, sending them into a frenzy as she held up a microphone to her mouth and began to sing. Eight was at the back of the audience, jumping to try and get a better view of the performance.

“Um, excuse me! I apologize but I cannot see, so if you could please- I would be grateful if-” She yelped as she was suddenly yanked backwards by the collar and dragged away from the crowd. She turned to look at her assailant and stared in confusion as a fuming Three pulled her back towards the food truck, grumbling to herself.

“Three, what are you doing?”

The Inkling let go of her when they reached the table in front of the truck. “I heard from Four you haven’t eaten yet. Well here’s a food truck, go get something.” Three crossed her arms and stood in front of Eight, frowning.

Eight attempted to peek at the concert behind Three, which was easy since she was almost a head taller, but Three was doing an annoyingly good job blocking the view. “I can get something to eat after, but I cannot miss the opportunity to see one of the Squid Sisters performing live. Please, Three!” Eight held her hands together and looked at Three with large, sad eyes.

Three hesitated, her eye twitching slightly before she shook her head. “Nu-uh. No way. Get something to eat first then we’ll see.”

Eight opened her mouth to protest but her stomach grumbled once again, almost loud enough to match the noise of the crowd in front of her. “I… very well. Then I shall eat first.” She grudgingly trudged towards the food truck’s window.

“That’s rather surprising.” Four glanced up from her phone. “I half expected you to acquiesce to Eight’s request. Kudos on you for resisting her charms, Three.”

“Shut it,” Three hissed. “I’m still pissed that we’re stuck here until Callie’s done.”

Four nodded. “It was a stroke of misfortune on our part. That Callie seems to have chosen the worst possible moment to hold an impromptu concert shouldn’t really surprise me, yet a part of me can’t help but be flabbergasted.”

She looked back down at her phone. “Though I suppose I can’t put the blame entirely on her. You saw it as well as I did. She wasn’t looking where she was going as she ran, and she struck a child on accident. The child began to cry, Callie attempted to calm her down by singing to her, other passerby recognized her voice, one thing led to another, and here we are.”

“Yeah, but when they asked her to sing for them, maybe she should’ve said no? Sorry, I’m busy right now, some serious shit’s going down I don’t have time to chat? You know, something like that?” Three banged her head against the table and groaned loudly.

“Well, they say artists are forever the servants of their audience.”

It wasn’t long before Eight returned to the table, holding a disproportionately large hotdog in her hands. It was smothered in all manner of toppings and condiments, from mustard to sardines. Eight looked at it reverently, mouth agape. “Look, Three! I only ordered one hot dog, yet the vendor gave me this much. This excesses of this city never cease to amaze me.”

“Uh-huh. And you think you’re gonna be able to finish all that?”

Eight stared at the hot dog in front of her intently. Calculating by the weight and surface area of this hot dog, adding the toppings, and factoring my current hunger level… “...Perhaps I may not be able to finish this all by myself.” She grasped the hotdog by the middle and swiftly tore it half, toppings and condiments sloppily falling to the table. “Would you like one?” She smiled widely, offering one half of the hotdog with an outstretched arm.

Three looked at Eight, and then the hotdog, and then back at Eight. She smirked and chuckled, before grabbing the hotdog. “Well if you’re offering, I’m not gonna say no to free food. Thanks, then. I owe you one.”

The Octoling nodded. “Okay. What is it that you owe me?”

Three took a bite of her hotdog. “I don’t know, a favour or something. Just hit me up if you need help with anything.”

“I see. Then I shall call upon this favour in the near future,” Eight said, before biting into her own hotdog.

The trio sat in silence and watched while Callie continued her mini-concert a small distance away. Eight would occasionally cheer along with the crowd whenever a new song would start up, and while she knew none of the lyrics, she would still do her best to hum or move along to the music. The other two agents were mainly focused on their phones and paid little attention to the crowd, although Three would occasionally snap a picture of Eight whenever she caught her dancing to the music. Four raised an eyebrow when she noticed but decided not to broach the subject.

To Eight, the atmosphere surrounding the area was nothing short of electric. The crowd wasn’t exceptionally large - she estimated there were about a hundred in present, but the way Callie could play to their emotions, and how enthusiastically they would react in response made her shake in excitement. In a way, it reminded her of how Octavio’s music could affect the thoughts and feelings of the Octarian Army, but this time, it was different. Rather than compliance, Eight could tell everyone here was dancing and singing along of their own accord, not because they were forced to. She would even say that the energy radiating from this small group of Inklings dwarfed that of the thousands of Octarians who were forced to attend the DJ’s concerts.

Soon, the music began to abate, with the bassline softening and the drums slowing down. The crowd looked at each other in confusion before Callie motioned for a wooden box to be brought to the centre of the stage. After an Inkling rushed in and plopped the box down, she confidently stood on top of it and with announced, “Alright, boys and girls, and all you listening here today! It’s been a good run but I’m just about running out of time.”

The Inklings groaned in unison before the pop star raised a finger, silencing them. “But because you’ve all been such a great crowd, I figure, what the heck, let’s do one more. And I know just the song to end it with.” She grinned as the crowd leaned forward in anticipation. “Oh yeah, I think you all know what I’m talking about. While Marie may not be here to perform with me, I really hope y'all are ready to hear the fresh, bangin’ sounds of the Spicy. Calamari. Inkantation!!” She emphasized each word, raising her voice each time, and the crowd roared, their excitement reaching an all-time high.

Eight gasped and clapped her hands rapidly. “Oh! Oh! She is doing it! She is performing the Inkantation!”

The music started to pick up again as the kick drums began thumping and the violins playing in harmony. Eight quickly stood up and ran to the crowd before stopping and rushing back to the other two Agents. “Please, join me you two. This is going to be very fun!”

Four giggled at Eight’s excitement and said, “I’m glad to see you enjoying yourself like this. Alas, I shan’t be participating this time. I’m wearing quite an expensive jacket, you see, and it would not do to see it getting dirtied because I brushed shoulders with the common folk.”

Eight looked at the green-tentacled Inkling who was avoiding eye contact. “Three?”

“Uh, sorry, I’ll have to pass too. Seriously not a fan of big crowds.”

“B-But you must come, I would enjoy it more if you were there.” Eight’s eyes lit up as she remembered her previous conversation with Three. “Ah, yes! You had told me earlier that you owe me a favour - I would like to call upon it right now.”

“Well, yeah see, about that,” Three rubbed the back of her head, still looking away. “Look, can’t you ask me to do something else? Like I dunno, buy you food or something. I can probably get you a deal at Crusty Sean’s.” Three chuckled nervously and glanced at Eight who was pouting, her nose scrunched up in indignation. Ah, fuck, she’s probably mad at me now. But seriously, why the shell does she look so cute when she gets angry??

“W-Well then I... “ Eight took a deep breath and crossed her arms. “I will not move from this spot until you agree to come with me,” she huffed. Behind her, the crowd cheered as Callie entered the first verse of the song.

Three looked back and forth between Eight and the concert happening behind her, a million thoughts racing in her mind at once. Three considered herself a tough squid - hardly anything rattled her. She was known in the Splatoon for diving headfirst into reckless, unwinnable situations and coming out on top. She would gladly square off again giant robotic Octarian machines, or face down a horde of rampaging Salmonids, but there was one thing she absolutely despised - large crowds. It was something that she had struggled time and time again to overcome, but the fear still remained rooted in her unconscious. In fact, the thought of even walking into that writhing mess of bodies made her hands break out in a cold sweat. Three considered her fear of crowds something of an embarrassment, and her pride wouldn’t allow for her to seek help, especially not from her fellow Agents.

Because of this she couldn’t imagine accompanying anyone into that giant mob of squids, but refusing to do anything left her in a dilemma - Eight would no doubt be angry with her, and while the idea of the Octoling actually coming to hate her was virtually impossible, the thought still filled her with dread. I can’t go in there, what if I start having some sort of fucking panic attack while we’re inside?! I don’t wanna look weak in front of her! Gaaaaah!!

Ultimately it boiled down to one of two choices: she could stay out of the crowd where she was comfortable, or force herself to go through extreme lengths of misery just to make Eight happy. Her mind went blank, and Three was unable to articulate a proper response  “Uh....”

“Oh for goodness’ sake.” Four rolled her eyes and stood up. “It looks like I will have to accompany you, Eight. We can go together but I would prefer it if we stayed around the periphery of the audience.”

“But- but I wanted to go in-...” Eight stopped herself and hung her head in disappointment. “Very well.”

Three grit her teeth. Four, you fucking idiot. She obviously wants to be close to the stage, don’t make her watch from the sides!

Eight took one last glance at Three, a look of sadness heavy in her eyes, before she held out a hand towards Four. “Then let us go.”

Four reached out to take Eight’s hand. “Indeed! Let’s-”

The two jolted backwards as Three suddenly slammed her fists on the table and sprang up with a curse. “FUCK! Okay, you-” She pointed at Four. “Sit the shell back down. And you.” She grabbed Eight’s outstretched hand and yanked her towards the crowd.

“Three? What are you doing?” Eight had to half-jog to avoid falling over. As she was pulled along, Eight noticed that Three’s hand was cold and sweaty. Was she nervous? I did not know Three was so against this. If I had I known I would not have been so insistent...

“What does it look like, genius? We’re gonna go watch the concert.” As Three moved into the crowd, her breath quickened. She thought her heart was going to burst out of her chest at any minute. I can’t believe I’m doing this!

She turned to look at Eight and gave her a confident smile. “You wanted to get close to the stage, right?”

Eight’s heart skipped a beat. Why did she feel so incredibly happy all of a sudden? Was it because Three volunteered to go with her? She hadn’t felt the same when Four made the same offer earlier. Getting in touch with her emotions wasn’t exactly something that was taught during her time in the Army, so she lacked significant experience in this area. But it wasn’t as if she was a robot, completely devoid of emotion; joy, sadness, anger, these were all things she’d felt before. But this tingling feeling she felt right now, as she stared at Three boldly forging a path ahead of them, it was something completely foreign to her. She unconsciously squeezed Three’s hand tighter as a faint blush formed on her face.

“Okay,” she whispered under her breath.

Four watched the two disappear into the mass of Inklings and sat back down. She smirked and sighed, “So cute.”

If Eight thought the energy levels were high on the outside, she wasn’t prepared for what it was actually like inside, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the other Inklings. Some had their arms raised, holding out their phones to record every moment of the performance, while others were going wild, screaming and jumping in time with the music. Eight even spied one Inkling quietly bobbing her head, her eyes closed, completely entranced by the song. Regardless of what they were doing, they all had one thing in common - they were having an amazing time, losing themselves in the music.

Three guided Eight towards the front of the stage. There was a makeshift blockade between it and the audience, consisting of three metallic road barriers most likely taken from the nearby sidewalks. As Three pushed her way to the front, Callie spotted the pair and gave them a quick wink before turning her attention back to the crowd. Eight gasped and stared in wonder. The venue may have been small, and only one of the Squid Sisters was actually performing, but to her, that didn’t matter. This was the song that had set her free, and hearing it again was no less of an experience compared to the first. Eight clasped her hands together and closed her eyes, swaying with the music.

Meanwhile, Three bit her cheek as she felt herself getting squeezed in from the sides. Thankfully, being at the front meant that she was only surrounded from three directions instead of four, but she was still extremely uncomfortable. She was doing all she could to remain calm.

“We love you, Callie!!” A fan screamed behind her and reached out with his phone in his hands, shoving her forward into the barrier.

Three gripped the metal railing in front of her, her knuckles turning white. Her breathing was rapid, and her head was pounding. Even with the music blasting right in front of her, all she could hear was a loud, high-pitched, almost unbearable, ringing in her ears. Alright, calm down. Just gotta get through this. You’ll be good, just calm down. As the song approached the climax, the crowd seemed to get even more fired up, their movements becoming more wild and rowdy. She could feel herself getting jostled left and right, and she swore somebody elbowed her in the shoulder. Her vision was fading. Splotches of red and black periodically appeared in her field of view, threatening to overwhelm her. As the song hit the climax, Three glanced at Eight standing beside her, completely unfazed by the crowd, staring at Callie with mesmerized eyes. Three smiled weakly. Having fun, huh? That’s… that’s good... The crowd around her had suddenly squeezed in, eager to get as close to the stage as possible for when Callie hit that final note. A sharp, stabbing pain ran through her skull as her vision faded to black. She released her grip on the barrier as she felt her body passing out.

No… I can’t... Not like this...

Just as she was about to fall forward, she felt her arm being grabbed, and her body being pulled up. She opened her eyes in confusion as she was suddenly pulled in a tight hug by the Octoling beside her.

“Thank you, Three,” she heard Eight whisper into her ear.

Three paused for a moment, trying to take in what was happening, before chuckling to herself and closing her eyes. She didn’t say anything - she didn’t need to. She had thought that running into the crowd may have been one of her most idiotic ideas, but now, wrapped in Eight’s arms, she thought it wasn’t so bad after all. Her knees began to steady, and the pounding of her head had slowly disappeared. And even as Callie waved the crowd goodbye and they all rushed forward, Eight never let go. And Three knew that she’d made the right choice.

…

“I should have you know, if Marie gets cross with us for being so late, I am entirely in my rights to blame it on you.” Four leaped over a puddle as the Agents ran towards the grate leading to the Cuttlefish Cabin.

Callie dismissed her. “Pfft, I’m sure she’ll understand once we explain everything together. And big emphasis on together . Remember, there’s no ‘I’ in team!”

Three snorted. “Yeah, but there’s a couple in ‘It was Callie’s idea.”

“Hnng… please don’t leave me to dry guys. Marie’s already mad at me for the whole Hypnoshades thing, can you imagine what a super mad Marie is like?”

“I wouldn’t know. I don’t think I’ve actually seen her get pissed for real,” Three replied.

“Exactly. But it’s terrifying , I tell you. Terrifying! Just remember, if Marie asks, we blame it on the weather.”

“The weather? Is that really your best excuse?” Four rolled her eyes.

“Shush! Just go with it. It’ll only work if we all commit.”

Eight nodded nervously. She wasn’t exactly comfortable having to lie, especially to a superior officer, but this was a direct order coming from Callie, who was the same rank. Would her duties supersede her obligation to her own personal values of veracity and honesty? She gulped. She wasn’t really sure what to do.

As the four Agents stopped in front of the grate, Callie called for a group huddle.

“Okay, so, we don’t really know what’s happening in there, so be prepared for anything . I’m not saying worst-case scenario here, but just in case something has gone wrong, I wanna make sure we all know what we’re doing. Three I want you to check on Octavio and make sure he hasn’t escaped.”

Three nodded. If there was an attack on the Cabin, it would most likely come from Octarian Loyalists trying to secure the DJ. Freeing him would be their main priority, and so she was assigned the most critical task.

“Eight, make sure Gramps is okay, and if you can, try and take him to a safe place. I don’t want him getting hurt.”

Eight inclined her head in acknowledgement. “Very well. I shall make sure no harm comes to the Captain.”

Callie turned to Four. “Four, go check up on Marie and help her out if she’s in trouble”

Four puffed her chest proudly. “Easily done, darling. No ruffian shall harm my Marie while I have anything to say about it.”

Three raised an eyebrow. “ Your Marie?”

Four blushed fiercely. “I-I mean, our Marie of course,” she quickly stammered, her face turning red. “Because she is a part of the Splatoon. And so are we. Therefore, she is our Marie.” Four coughed awkwardly as everyone stared at her. “Yes.”

“...Riiiight. Moving on,” Callie continued. “As for me, I’ll try to get us Splat Weapons from the Cabin. I realize we’re unarmed right now but I know exactly where we keep them so we’ll be okay.”

“Huh. Never thought I’d see the day where you’d be taking the lead, Callie. I’m almost kinda impressed,” Three said.

Callie pouted. “Okay, first off, rude . Second, I know how to take charge when it counts. Such as right now. But that’s mainly ‘cuz Marie’s not here so I kinda have to. You know, most times I prefer to do the watching, it’s more fun and waaay less stressful.” She shook her head, realizing she was quickly getting off track. “Anyways! We’ve all got our duties, y’all ready?” Callie looked around, and each Agent nodded. “Cool. I’ll go in first, let’s do this!”

Callie morphed into her squid form and leaped into the grate, followed by Three, Four, and finally, Eight.

Leaping into grates, especially ones leading underground could be quite a disorienting experience depending on how the pipes and passageways were constructed. As Eight was sucked through the tight and winding tunnels, she started to feel a little dizzy. Of course, this wasn’t her first time going through drain pipes like these and she knew everything would reorient themselves once she popped out of the exit. Still, as Eight emerged from the tunnel, it took her a while to fully comprehend what exactly what was happening in front of her.

“Oh my cod. Grandpa what are you doing?!” Callie shrieked, trying to cover her eyes.”What are you wearing?!” Nearby, Three had her arms crossed and was tapping her foot impatiently while Four was glancing around, looking for Marie.

Captain Cuttlefish, who was lying on the ground in full, black, yoga tights and undershirt was attempting to reach forward to touch his toes and failing spectacularly. It looked like he couldn’t even reach past his knees. “Yoga gear. I ordered it on the Splatnet and they delivered it here in two days! It’s amazing how technology is for youngsters now. You know, back in my day, we actually had to go out and buy things on our own.”

Three sighed. “So what exactly was the ‘big trouble’ that was so important we had to run our asses off to see?”

“Look, Callie. I learned this pose today, it’s called the ‘Half Lord of the Fishes’.” Cuttlefish demonstrated by crossing one leg over the other and twisting his body to face her. The leggings he wore looked uncomfortably tight, and it stretched in a way that made Eight concerned that they were going to rip apart at any moment. “It’s very fresh, isn’t it?”

“STOP!!!” Callie tried to cover both her eyes and ears at the same time but found she lacked the necessary appendages to do so.

“Oh, look who’s here.” The Agents turned as Marie stepped out of the Cabin, wearing her kimono, a displeased look on her face. In her arms she held a closed Splat Brella, although it looked like she was about ready to start firing it at them at any moment. “You wanna explain why it took you so long?”

“Marie! You’re safe, that’s great!.” Callie held a finger up and began to explain, “As for why we’re late, well, you see, it’s a pretty funny story. It turns out-”

“The weather!” Eight suddenly blurted out. All heads immediately turned to face the Octoling, who was sweating profusely, her eyes wide, and her face in a state of panic. I must do this. As per the orders of Agent One, I must lie convincingly.

Marie blinked. “What did you say?”

“Weather. The atmospheric state in relation to factors such as temperature, humidity, and pressure. Most commonly occurring in the tropospheric layer, related phenomena include rain and snow. In fact we were waylaid by just the very same - an unexpected flurry of snow hindered our forward progress on the way here, so we had to stop as conditions were not ideal for expeditious movement.” Eight’s hands were moving rapidly, her voice steadily increasing in pitch as continued babbling. It was painfully obvious to everyone present that she was an exceptionally terrible liar.

Marie tapped her chin in amusement. “Snow, huh? But I checked the weather last night, it’s clear skies all week. And if you think about it, it’s the middle of summer. Why would it be snowing?”

“Um… I-, that is to say-,  Eight’s mouth opened and closed, unable to form complete sentences. The others could practically see steam rising out of her ears. “Th-that’s correct! Snow! It refers to atmospheric ice crystals formed from the condensate of water particles in-”

Three placed a hand over the Octoling’s mouth, who looked like she was on the verge of having a mental breakdown. “Alright, before you completely break Eight, why don’t we let Callie explain first?”

“Ahahaha, right!” Callie laughed nervously, suppressing the urge to slap her own face. Eight had seriously made it difficult for her to salvage the situation, but talking her way out of things was something she prided herself in. “Well, like Eight so very elegantly said, the weather got a little bad outside. But she got a little mixed up. It wasn’t snowing, it was raining, yeah? Like super hard. We couldn’t really run that fast because of it, you know?”

“Uh-huh,” Marie replied blankly, taking out her phone and typing something in.

“Yep, yep,” Callie continued. “And then we had to go to the convenience store to buy umbrellas because Four didn’t want to ruin her fancy jacket.”

“Don’t drag me into this,” Four deadpanned.

“And then we took a wrong turn ‘cuz we couldn't see, it was raining so hard. You know what they say, it is what it i- wait, what are you doing?”

Marie turned her phone towards the Agents, playing a video recording someone had uploaded of Callie performing the concert.

“We love you, Callie!” The Inkling recording the video yelled amidst the crowd.

Callie gaped and then quickly looked away, scratching her cheek. “Hahaha, oh that? That was just a little thing I did a couple days ago, no biggie.”

“Can you believe she’s just throwing a random concert on the streets?! On Thursday of all days!”

“...They’re talking about last Thursday.”

“On July 5th!”

“Okay, seriously, why would you say the date while you record?!” Callie looked absolutely flabbergasted about the lack of common sense in today’s youth. “Your phone keeps a timestamp of that, you literally don’t need to it when you’re taping! Do these people even know technology?”

Marie cleared her throat and twirled the Splat Brella in her arms impatiently. "Well?"

Callie sighed. "Alright fine, you caught me." She began to explain the circumstances leading to the concert, covering every detail, starting from when she decided to follow Eight and Four as they left the Tower.

After her lengthy explanation, Marie closed her eyes and rubbed her temples in annoyance. "Honestly, it's a little hard to believe such a crazy story like that, but coming from you, I can totally believe it. Which is actually kinda sad if you put it that way. Well, whatever, as long as you're all here we can get started. But before I do..."

She strolled over to Eight, looking her up and down before smiling. "And you're Eight, right? The new Octoling agent. Sweet, it's nice to meet you. I'm Marie, but you can call me Agent Two if you really want, I guess. Nice to meet you." She held out her hand.

Eight enthusiastically shook it. "It is an honour to finally meet you. I sincerely apologize for my display of deception earlier."

“Erm, I wouldn’t exactly call what you did deception , but it’s cool. Callie probably put you up to it anyways. Okay, so, about what you were all called in here for…”

“Grandpa!” Marie called out. “Do you wanna come over and explain what’s going on?”

Cuttlefish, who was in a strangely contorted position, with one leg behind his head, and another sprawled out in a twisted mess, yelled out, “By the Great Zapfish, my glutes are on fire!”

All four Inklings visibly shuddered while Eight stared in fascination. Even in his older age, the Captain is still performing such strenuous physical exercises. How inspiring! I could only strive to emulate such strength and discipline.

The Captain uncoiled himself and slowly stood up, rubbing his back. “My goodness, I should have done this sooner. My joints are feeling like they’re 20 years younger. Right, I’ve got something to show you all.” He picked up his cane and slowly hobbled over to the Cabin. “Gimme a moment, I just gotta find it, it’s in there somewhere...”

As he stepped inside, Callie quickly ran after him. “Hold on, I’ve seriously gotta get you changed first. My eyes won’t be able to handle seeing you in yoga tights anymore.”

Three tapped Eight on the shoulder and gestured behind her. “Come here, I’ll show you around while they do that.”

Eight nodded and followed her. As they walked around, Three would often point at and comment on the various landscapes and features of the area. “We’ve got a couple of target dummies set up in the field over here. They’re set to move around so if you wanna get some practice in, be my guest. There’s a scoreboard that tracks your accuracy and speed, too.” Three smirked, “I set the current record when I joined and nobody’s topped it since. Four’s tried a bunch of times but she never comes close to beating it. You shoulda seen her on her sixth try, I swear her head was gonna explode with how mad she was getting.”

Four, overhearing the conversation from a distance away, screamed, “That machine is faulty! It neglected to count my shots even though I so very clearly landed them. I demand that it be recalibrated at once.”

Three snickered and continued showing Eight around.

Grumbling to herself, Four failed to notice that Marie had walked up beside her. “Fresh clothes, Four. Looking good,” she said with a smirk.

“M-Marie!” Four quickly adjusted herself and dusted off her jacket. “I see you’ve noticed my new Tentatek jacket. It’s from the Summer Collection, you see, and it does an excellent job shielding me from the sun whilst remaining quite breathable. Some fancy new technology, I wasn’t too interested in the science behind it. I’m glad you like it.”

“Is that so? That’s pretty cool.” Marie unfolded her umbrella and rested it on her shoulder. “Anyways, I gotta say, it was nice of you to show Eight around the city. How’s she finding things?”

“She’s adjusting well enough, I suppose.” In the distance, Four watched as Eight giggled at something Three said. “Though she does have certain habits that need correcting. Not to mention, her manner of speech is most peculiar.”

“Um, I wouldn’t exactly be criticizing anyone on their way of speaking if I were you.”

“Pardon?”

“Oh, nothing.” Marie twirled her umbrella and grinned. “And how’d Chez Aqua go? I’m surprised you managed to get in without a reservation.”

Four placed her hands on her hips and stuck her chest out proudly. “But of course. It is me you’re talking about. Restaurants would be more than happy to accomodate me if it meant that I grace their establishments with my presence for even a passing minute.” She decided to omit the fact that without Callie, they probably wouldn’t have been allowed in the restaurant.

“So then you’re saying you can get in any time you want?” Marie raised an eyebrow.

Four nodded confidently. “Of course, it should be no problem at all.”

Marie suddenly leaned in close and brushed shoulders with Four, who stiffened. “Then do you think you’d be able to get a table for two? Say… for tomorrow evening?” She smiled teasingly as Four turned beet red and began to sweat.

Four stammered, “Huh? Table for two? Tomorrow evening? L-Like with just the two of us? Yeah, I can, like, definitely do that. No biggie!” As soon as she blurted out those words, she instantly regretted it. She wrung her hands behind her back nervously as she began to realize that no, she could not, in fact, do that. But other thoughts quickly suppressed that concern. Oh my cod, oh my cod, is she asking me out right now?! Is she for real? I gotta get a table somehow. Maybe I can bribe the guards??

Marie stepped back, twirling her umbrella once again. “Oh okay, sweet. I’m free tomorrow night and I was hoping to have a little one-on-one with Eight to get to know her better.”

Four froze. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah. I mean, Callie probably got to talk to her a lot today, so I figure I should get to know our newest member too. So tomorrow evening, a table for two at Chez Aqua . I hope the guards will let us in, but since you said you could definitely get a table there shouldn’t be a problem, right Four?”

“Wait, but- I thought-”

“Alright then, thanks a bunch.” Marie turned and began to walk away.

Four stopped for a moment, before holding out a hand. “Marie, wait.”

“Hm?” The pop star stopped and turned her body halfway, hiding a smirk. “What’s up?”

Four looked at her in a panic before hanging her head. “I… I have something to tell you. I can’t actually-”

“Of course, I was just joking,” Marie interrupted.

Four looked up in confusion. “Huh?”

“I’m not gonna ask someone else to pay for my dinner, especially if they’re not actually gonna be there with me. What kind of squid do you think I am?” Marie asked jokingly. “But… I wasn’t kidding about being free tomorrow. If you wanna go do something fun, let me know.” She gave one last wink at the stunned Inkling before walking back to the Cabin.

It took a few seconds for Four to comprehend what had just happened. After she recovered, she snapped out of her stupor and called out to Marie, yelling, “Th-Then I shall take you up on your offer. I will come by tomorrow and I promise you the most memorable of outings. You can count on it!” She quickly looked around to see if anybody else was watching, and once she was sure it was safe, she threw out a rather unladylike fist pump. “YES!”

Marie smirked as she stepped into the Cabin. Agent Four is adorable.

Meanwhile, Eight was continuing her tour of the Octo Canyon, and she had found it rather surprising. They had passed by several Octarian Kettles, all of which had been sealed off by random mishmashes of furniture, some of which included a bookshelf, a bed, and what appeared to be a giant wooden statue of an owl. She brought it up to Three who explained, “Yeah, those Kettles lead to a bunch of different Octarian bases underground. We know that they can’t actually come up but Cuttlefish kinda got paranoid about the whole thing and didn’t wanna take any chances so we decided to seal them up.” The pair stared as they passed by another Kettle entrance. This one only had a giant CRT TV on legs planted square on top.

“Is that really sufficient? It seems rather... precarious.” The TV looked rather wobbly, and it looked like a stiff breeze could easily knock it over. Eight figured nailing wooden boards or even welding the kettle shut would do a far better job at deterring potential invaders.

Three shrugged. “Like I said, the Octarians can’t actually come out from their bases. We only put those there to calm the Captain down because he wouldn’t shut up about it.”

Eight frowned. “I see.” She saw no reason to believe why the Octarians couldn’t utilize the Kettles to travel in either direction. After all, they were the ones who had invented it. As far as she was aware there was no limitation on placed on bidirectional movement. Perhaps things have changed since I lost my memory. Maybe the Splatoon knows something about the Kettles that I do not. If that is the case, then there is no need for me to worry.

As the pair continued walking, Eight noted the Canyon was extremely open, and that it was composed of several giant islands floating in the sky. The island that they were currently standing on, the Tentakeel Outpost, seemed simple enough, if not a little cozy. It did make her a little anxious that there were no guard rails around the perimeter. It seemed all too easy for someone to slip and fall off. She peered over the edge of the platform and saw nothing but clear skies all the way down. She shuddered at the thought of falling over the edge. Was there even a surface down there? If she fell, would she fall forever?

As she took a wide step back, a haunting, yet all-too-familiar voice spoke up behind her, stopping her in her tracks.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Captain XZ-01 from OTS. I'll be honest, you’re the last one I expected to see here.”

A chill ran up Eight's spine. It was a voice she’d heard countless times, a voice that would frequently appear in her nightmares, making her wake up in a cold sweat. She remembered hearing that low, droning tone every single day during her time in the Octarian Army. It was a voice that, for years, she was forced to obey. It was the voice of her General.

“General Octavio…” she whispered, turning to face him. The DJ was trapped in some sort of makeshift glass prison, which should have brought her some sense of security, but despite that Eight could feel her body trembling. Octavio still wore his signature Kabuto helmet, and he was holding two pieces of wasabi in his tentacles. He looked exactly like he did on the propaganda posters plastered throughout the Octarian facilities, but standing in front of him face-to-face, he appeared to be even more intimidating. Even though she was freed from his mind control, she still had to fight the urge to kneel before him.

“Eight.” Three stood beside the Octoling and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s go. We don’t have anything to say to him.”

“Oh, but I think she does have something to say to me, Agent. Look at her,” Octavio observed.

Eight, who had very quickly recovered from her initial shock of seeing the DJ, was now shaking, but this time not out of fear. She looked furious. “How dare you… how DARE you, General?! No, not General. You are just Octavio to me now. I cannot believe what you did. Controlling all of us, your own species, as if we were your puppets!”

Octavio, looking unimpressed, replied, “And? Do you think I care about the words of a traitor?”

“I am not a traitor! You are the traitor. We believed in you, believed in your cause, but it turns out you were just deceiving us the whole time.” Eight clenched her fists in rage.

Octavio chuckled. “Oh, XZ-01. I never thought you’d grow to be so naive. It actually kind of hurts seeing you like this.”

“My name is not XZ-01,” Eight screamed, startling Three. She had never seen Eight so angry before. She didn’t even think Eight could get angry. “My name is Agent Eight. I am part of the New Squidbeak Splatoon now, not the Octarian Army. I am free.”

"Free? All you did was change from one number to another. I'd hardly call that freedom. But have it your way,” The General shrugged. “It's not like I can do anything trapped in this stupid prison anyways,”

“Why’d you do it, Octavio?” Three spoke up. “Why’d you have to brainwash them all? What, you realize your leadership skills sucked so much that you had to force them to listen to you?”

“Provoking me won’t work, Agent. I’ve spent a lot of time in this thing, and I’ve achieved inner peace enough times to count. Try something else.”

“Where are my parents?” Eight demanded. “I am going to set them free and you know exactly where they are.”

Octavio shook his head in disbelief. “Your… parents? Pfft… aha… ahahaha… HAHAHAHA!!!”

Three cracked her knuckles. Alright, now this fuckface is really pissing me off. Would the others mind if he took a little tumble off the island?

Eight remained silent as the DJ kept laughing. She wasn’t going to let Octavio get to her, to get her riled up. He knew where her parents were and she was focused on getting that information. She wouldn’t let herself get distracted.

After what seemed like an eternity, Octavio’s laughter finally died down as he wiped a tear from his eye with a tentacle. Eight opened her mouth to repeat her question, when he suddenly glared at her, his face ominously serious and uttered, “You really have no idea, do you?”

Eight shivered. There was something about the way Octavio had said that that rattled her. He spoke with an air of condescension, yet she could detect something else in his words. It almost sounded like pity.

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” Three demanded, stepping forward. “No idea about what?”

Octavio sighed and closed his eyes. “Alright, I think I’ve learned all I need to know. You can leave now.” He waved them off with a tentacle.

“Uh, how about no? We’ve got all day here, pal, and we’re not-”

Eight grasped Three’s hand and began walking away, much to the latter’s surprise. “Eight? What are you doing?”

“We should… we should go,” Eight said blankly.

“What? Why? I can make him talk. I’m good at this, trust me!”

Eight turned to her and smiled sadly. “The others waiting for us. We should not keep them waiting.”

Almost on cue, the Squid Sisters stepped out of the Cabin with the Captain in tow, thankfully out of his exercise gear and wearing his green track clothes and white beret. He was holding a familiar device that Eight recognized almost immediately - the CQ-80.

Three shot a death glare at Octavio who ignored her before joining the other Agents in a circle in front of the Cabin. "About damn time." Her mood had soured, although the others didn’t comment on it. Maybe they were used to it. She looked at Four who looked unnaturally cheerful. "And what's with you?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all," she hummed cheerfully.

"Sorry for the wait. It’s a lot tougher getting out of those tights than it is getting in. Let’s get started," Cuttlefish declared. "In case any of you aren't familiar, this is a CQ-80 device." He held up the remote for all to see. "It's property of the Kamabo Corporation and Eight used it to navigate the Metro when we were underground. Saved our hides more times than I can count. I borrowed it after the battle with Tartar to see if we could discover anything useful about it."

"And did you?" Marie asked.

"You'd better believe it! But I don't think I'm the right Squid to explain, so I'll let these two take over." The Captain tweaked a knob on the controller and pressed a button, bringing up a holographic projection of Pearl and Marina.

“Ayoo!” Pearl greeted. “It’s ya homegirl, Pearl, back at with the freshest news.” She threw her hands forward, spreading her fingers in what appeared to be a greeting gesture.

Marina, who sat beside her, was looking away, typing on a keyboard offscreen. The Agents could hear the rapid clacking of the keys stop as she turned and waved. “Hey everybody. Hi, Eight. How are things going?”

“I am doing fine, thank you for asking. I am on pace to becoming fully adapted to Inkling society.”

“Great, I’m glad to hear it.” Marina smiled and turned back to focus on what she was typing offscreen.

“Cool, cool, cool,” Pearl leaned forward. “So listen up, we got new deets on the phone Cuttlefish wanted us to check out. At first, we thought all of its wireless functions were completely busted but it turns some of it’s still kicking. Barely.”

“That’s correct.” Marina pressed a button on her keyboard, displaying a holographic monitor composed of frequency and wavelength graphs. “I checked for any sort of radio or microwaves originating from the phone and by honing in on a particular frequency, I noticed a faint signal. It seemed to be distorted in a way that would make it nearly impossible to pick up with the naked ear, so I used some of our studio headphones to amplify the sound.” She began to speak more quickly, eager to reveal her findings. “And doing that led to a new discovery, because once I alternated the pitch and extrapolated the data with help from a Fletcher–Munson curve I constructed, I rerouted the sound to a magnetostatic loudspeaker, taking care to avoid input overload distortion and minimizing ambient background noise to-”

“Um,” Callie interrupted. “That’s uh, great, and all Marina, but I literally don’t think any of us can understand what you’re saying.”

The Inklings all agreed, looking at each other in confusion. Even Pearl had an expression of what appeared to be a mixture of exasperation and boredom. The only one who seemed to be remotely interested was Eight, who was nodding along with Marina’s explanation.

“Fascinating. Did you consider utilizing a Crossover-Network Circuit in your investigation?”

“I did!” Marina replied excitedly. “But I found that using a modified Band-pass Filter worked well enough for attenuating the outside frequencies so I could hone in on the isolate. So I decided to save some time and use that instead.”

“Very efficient! Having an abundance of tools at your disposal can lead you down the wrong path, so using only what you need is important.”

“Waste not, want not,” Marina jested, as she and Eight chuckled, oblivious to the fact that nobody else understood the joke.

Three nudged Callie and whispered, “Are they supposed to be having some sort of Octoling geek bonding moment right now or something?”

“Yo, Marina,” Pearl snapped. “Just get to the point, we were supposed to get fruit smoothies after this.”

“Alright, alright,” she relented. “Point is, I picked up an audio log being transmitted to the phone from an unknown source and isolated it. Take a listen.” Marina pressed a single button and audio began to play from the CQ-80.

“grzzkt… experim-… uccess...  gssshkt… fift-…? no… -undreds…? gsssshhhh… hehehaha… gzzzt… beautiful…”

The audio was extremely jumbled and the heavy radio static made it difficult to hear the words but upon playing it back several times, the Agents managed to decipher what was being said.

“What the shell was that? Did it say experiment?” Three asked.

“Was there any more to that recording?” Four placed a hand on her chin. “There wasn’t much to go on and it seemed rather nonsensical.”

Marina shook her head. “No, unfortunately, the signal cuts out after that. But what do you think it could mean?”

“I’ll tell you what it means,” Pearl declared. “It means Kamabo’s still down there in the Metro, running some whack experiments and doing shady shit without any of us noticing.” She narrowed her eyes grinned. “Until now.”

“That’s some pretty wild speculation,” Marie countered. “First of all, we don’t even know where that broadcast came from. And from what we know about Kamabo, everything they had got destroyed when Tartar went down. We even checked the Metro - all the rail tracks were powered off. There’s nothing moving down there.”

“But what else would explain the message?” Callie asked, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “There’s a secret lab down there!”

“It is possible,” Eight agreed. “But radios are known to pick up frequencies from a variety of sources. The message may have come from a satellite broadcasting some sort of fictional children’s program.”

“Like a TV show, you mean?” Cuttlefish inquired.

“Precisely.”

“And wouldn’t a secret lab be using a ton of power?” Three added. “Something like that wouldn’t be able to fly under our radar. Like Marie said, everything shut down after we got out. That place is dead as dead can be.”

Four tapped her foot. “As exciting as the thought of Kamabo managing to weasel away a nefarious hideout somewhere in the underground may be, I will have to agree with Three on this one. It just seems extremely unlikely that with the evidence provided to us, we can conclude that it was most definitely them. When did you happen upon this broadcast?”

“I detected the signal pretty early in the day, I wanna say… maybe 6 in the morning? But I didn’t manage to fully decode it until about an hour ago,” Marina answered.

“Then I suggest we wait and see if we can detect any more of these messages before we act. Even if we were to barge into the Metro, we wouldn’t have the faintest idea of where to go.”

“Wow, Four,” Marie teased. “You’re awfully level-headed about this. I half-expected you to volunteer to go in.”

“Hmph!” Four huffed indignantly. “I can be rational too. In fact, I simply ooze rationality.”

Callie rolled her eyes. “So what’s the plan, then? Just sit here and wait while Kamabo messes around down there?”

“I’m not saying I like it, Callie,” Marie pointed out. “I’m just saying we can’t go charging in to something when we don’t have any idea about it.”

“Should I call a vote then?” Cuttlefish said, tapping his walking stick on the ground. “All Agents in favour of entering the Metro?”

“Me!” Callie cheered out, raising her hand. She looked around and pouted when she noticed nobody else had shared her enthusiasm. “Aw, come o-”

“All Agents in favour of waiting?”

The rest of the Splatoon raised their hands, finalizing the decision on the current plan of action. Or in this case, the plan of inaction.

“Good. Then we’ll just continue on until anything new pops up. Everybody dismissed.” Cuttlefish tapped his stick to the ground one more time, ending the meeting.

“Aww, I was hoping for some more action,” Pearl complained.

Marina giggled. “Then we’ll get going then. We’ll let you know if we find anything more. And Eight, don’t stay out too late. Make sure to get back before dark.”

The two gave a subtle salute before ending the holographic call with a click. Cuttlefish turned to leave, stepping into the Cabin. “Now where are those yoga tights…” he grumbled.

“Grandpa nooo!!” Callie shouted, running in after him.

The four remaining Agents stared after them blankly. Marie was the first to break the silence. “I guess I should probably go too. There’s a lot of things to think about and I’ve got to get ready for tomorrow.” She closed her umbrella and gave a sly wink to Four. “Isn’t that right, Four?”

The Inkling turned a bright red before stuttering, “A-Ah, yes, that would be for the best. I shall take my leave as well. I’m quite busy, places to be, errands to run, et cetera. Ta-ta for now, everyone.” She quickly ran towards the grate, jumping and morphing into her squid form before disappearing down the pipes.

Marie chuckled to herself and exited into the Cabin, leaving only Three and Eight left.

“Somethin’ on your mind?” Three asked. Eight looked pensive, lost in her own thoughts. Three didn’t want to say anything, but she was worried about the conversation they had with Octavio earlier. He hoped he didn’t upset her too much.

Eight shook her head. “It is nothing. It has been quite a long day and I suppose I am still attempting to process everything that has happened.”

Three chuckled. “Tell me about it. First, I jumped off the Tower, then I had to sit through one of Callie’s concerts, and now I find out that Kamabo might be hiding some secret labs? I’m not even sure I’ve processed everything.” She paused, waiting for Eight to respond. When she didn’t, Three continued, “Hey, I hope that what Octavio said earlier didn’t bother you. He’s probably just trying to get in your head. It’s not like he has a lot of other options left.”

“I know, it is just, seeing him for the first time since I lost my memories... not as a General but simply as a normal Octarian… it is an odd feeling.” Eight smiled bitterly. “To think I spent years of my life fighting for someone like him. It is almost as if everything I have lived for has been a lie. What am I even fighting for now?”

“Don’t say that,” Three growled. “Whatever you did, no, whatever any of the Octarians did, it was all because that asshole brainwashed you. But we freed you Eight, broke you from his control. But there are a lot of others who weren’t so lucky. So you need a new reason to fight? Then do it for them. Do it for your parents. Do it for whoever’s still getting controlled by Octavio and wanting a second chance like the one you got.” She grinned and placed a hand on Eight’s shoulder. “Do it for the Splatoon.”

Eight looked back, her mood improving. “Yes. Yes, that is right. There are many other Octarians who still need my help. Perhaps we can even bring Octavio to reason, and help him understand that what he is doing is wrong. All is not yet lost. Thank you, Three.”

The Inkling shrugged and placed her hands in her pockets. “I do what I can. Anyways, I’m gonna get going. Still need to do my daily Turf War match, since I kinda ditched my team halfway through a round. Heh, I hope they didn’t decide to drop the hammer on me. I’ll see you around.”

“Very well. I shall see you later.” As Eight watched Three disappear down the grate, she couldn’t help but smile. While she hadn’t known Three for an exceptionally long time, she always knew how to put her mind at ease. She was right - it was better to focus on the future. There was no use worrying about what’s already happened.

Eight took a deep breath in, surveying the beautiful surroundings of the Canyon. A gentle breeze tickled her neck as she made her way to the exit. Tomorrow was going to be a new day, and she wondered what strange, exciting things were waiting for her in the bustling city of Inkopolis.

Chapter Text

Moonlight shone in through the window of the building, illuminating a small patch in the bedroom. It was difficult to see inside, but it wasn’t hard to tell that the place was dishevelled. Chaotic, even. Clothes were strewn about haphazardly and small pieces of garbage were scattered on the floor carpet. If someone had walked in, they probably would have thought a whirlwind had recently torn through the place. In contrast, however, the bed was immaculately well kept, almost to a fault. On it, a lone figure sat, completely still in the darkness. After a full minute of silence, they reached up and closed the window blinds, blocking out the moonlight and engulfing the room in total blackness. The solitary, faint blue glow of a cell phone screen provided the only source of illumination in the gloom. There were a few silent beeps as a number was dialed, followed by the dull sound of a dial tone. There was a click as the other side answered.

“Told you not to call this number.”

The one holding the phone sighed. “I know. You don’t have to remind me.”

“Make it quick.”

“It’s just… I’m having a lot of doubts about this, I don’t know.”

The voice replied with a hint of annoyance, “We’ve had this conversation already. We don’t got no other choice.”

The figure tapped their fingers on the bed nervously. “Do we really not? Maybe there’s another way. I mean, are we even really doing the right thing here?”

“You tell me.”

There was a long pause. “I… No, you’re right. This is for the best. I’ll keep you updated if anything comes up.” The caller hung up without another word. They shut off their phone and hugged their knees close to their body, staring into the darkness. After about an hour, they pulled their blanket over themselves and lied down, drifting away into an uneasy sleep.

…

Four prided herself as a fashionista. It was one of the few skills she had that she prided herself in. Back before she started delving into it, she didn’t much stock into the practice. She figured that by simply purchasing the most expensive new products on the market, one would be considered “fresh”. But after a rather disastrous debut in front of other high-class members of Inkling society, she realized it was far more complex than that. From then on she took it upon herself to learn the secrets and intricacies of the fashion world. It took years of painstaking research and hard work - there were so many factors dictating what the current trend was, so many circumstances that could popularize or completely ruin a style. What would be considered fresh one day would be seen as gauche the next. But as she continued to practice her craft, she found that she genuinely enjoyed doing so, and always looked forward to learning more. It wasn’t long before she had finally considered herself at the top of her class, a leader of the art. It had come to the point when others would even come to her for fashion advice - some of them the very same peers that had previously mocked her. She was privy to the deepest secrets of the fashion world. She would receive information on the newest collections months before they were announced. She even had the ear of the most prestigious fashion designers. Among Inkopolis, there was no Inkling who could hope to match her level. In short, she was a master.

Which made it all the more frustrating that she had spent the majority of the night failing to find the right outfit to wear for her date.

“No, no, no… I can’t wear this!” Four banged her head against her closet door in despair. The Agent’s wardrobe was massive - hundreds of outfits bought and accumulated over many years, once arranged neatly and deliberately now lay in a giant heap on the floor. Designer clothing from brands like Toni Kensa and Takoroka were crumpled and tossed on the ground like they were nothing.

She hadn’t gotten much sleep the past night, though not for a lack of trying. There were too many thoughts running through her head at the time. Though she didn’t admit it during the meeting, the feelings of hesitation and anxiety over Kamabo Corporation occupied her thoughts, though it paled in comparison to the panic she felt over her upcoming date with Marie. A few hours of restless sleep was all she managed to muster, and her fatigue was starting to show.

“Uh… um, let’s see... “ Four scanned through her closet and pulled out several pieces of clothing. She brought them over to a nearby full-body mirror and held them up against her body. “Enperry Emenince Jacket with... Skalop shorts?” She briefly considered the combination before tossing them away with a loud groan. “Gaaah! What are you thinking? The colours contrast way too much and they’re not even in season right now. I have, like, nothing to wear!”

Four flopped onto her bed, her eyes heavy with fatigue; she was sure if she closed them now she’d fall asleep on the spot. Getting ready for her date was no easy feat. To begin with, she wasn’t even sure where they were going to go for dinner. Chez Aqua was out of the question, especially considering that Three had almost nearly destroyed the place, not to mention physically assaulted the staff. While Four wasn’t at fault for any of that, the fact that they ran out with her made them guilty by association.  Even if they had somehow been forgiven for that, it was unlikely she could get in by herself anyways. 

There were other high-class places in Inkopolis, of course, but Chez Aqua was considered by everyone to be the best in the city. To Four, it didn’t feel right to take Marie somewhere that was considered second-rate. But what was she going to do?

A thought surfaced in her head. Should I just ask Callie for ideas? It wasn’t the worst idea. Callie and Marie were close and it was very likely she’d have a clue of where Marie would like to go for dinner. Not to mention, she may also have general tips on how to make the experience go smoother. But talking with Callie wasn’t without drawbacks. The first and most obvious one would be the inevitable, incessant teasing. Four hadn’t told her about the date yet and knowing Marie, she probably hadn’t said anything about it either.

So? So? Who asked who out first? It was probably Marie ‘cuz you’re a total coward when it comes to romance, Four. Where are you taking her? Huh?

Four groaned. The thought alone almost completely turned her off from the idea. On top of that, Callie was also something of a loudmouth. If she told her about her upcoming date, it wouldn’t be long before the rest of the Splatoon knew about it too. But she was at her wit’s end. She didn’t have a destination, she didn’t have her clothes picked, and she didn’t even know about what kind of things Marie liked. As much as she would regret doing so, she took out her phone and called Callie, asking to meet at a quiet, but trendy, cafe.

The afternoon sun was bright, but it was especially harsh on Four’s eyes as she stepped outside. She squinted and covered her eyes with one hand. She couldn’t believe it was already past noon. She’d closed the blinds to her apartment during the night, so her sense of time was muddled. It also didn’t help that her sleep-deprived mind was running on fumes, and she was doing everything she could to stay on her feet. As she mulling over her hatred of the sun, she heard a noise approaching behind her. She jumped back as a pair of teenage Inklings on skateboards whizzed by, nearly running into her.

“Yooo, watch out dude! You almost hit someone,” one of them said, laughing.

The other grinned. “Yeah, but I didn’t. See that wicked turn right there? Super fresh, huh?”

The pair guffawed loudly as they turned a corner and vanished. Four narrowed her eyes and cursed under her breath. “I hope you crash on your stupid skateboards…” She shook her head and chuckled as she realized what she had just said. Oh my cod, I’m turning into Three. I need some coffee, now.

After a few minutes of walking, Four entered the Easy Breeze , a small, but comfortable cafe located in one of Inkopolis’ many side alleys. It wasn't especially popular but the staff were courteous and the food was good, so Four would often come here if she needed a quiet place to relax. She looked around and noticed the place was relatively empty, save for a certain black-tentacled Inkling in the corner, resting her head facedown on the table. She approached and took a seat across from them.

"Well, it seems that I wasn't the only one who failed to get any sleep last night."

Callie sat up with a jolt. "Bwhu-?" She narrowed her eyes and focused on the squid who appeared in front of her. "Oh. Hey Four. What’s up?”

“You look terrible.” Four said. Callie’s eyes were bloodshot, and there visible bags under them. “Have you considered getting yourself something to drink? Certainly looks like you could use it.”

“Ha-ha.” Callie rolled her eyes. “For the record, it’s not like you look any better. Actually, you probably look even worse than I do.”

Four didn’t doubt it. The combination of anxiety, stress, and a general lack of sleep probably made her look like a nervous wreck. The fact that she hadn’t showered or bothered dressing up before leaving her home did little to assist matters. She looked extremely ragged - she wore a simple yellow hoodie with black shorts, something she had hastily grabbed off her floor with no regard for how they blended together. Had she been of sound mind, she would have slapped herself for daring to wear such a thing in public.

“I have a lot going through my mind right now.” Four stared out the window, hoping that the sunshine would kick her circadian rhythm back into order. “And what about yourself? I apologize if this seems rude, but you’re the last squid I expected to lose sleep over something. You seem to have such a laissez-faire approach in life.” She turned to look back at her.

Callie shrugged and smirked, avoiding eye contact. “Hey, even I have things I worry about. I’d be lying if I said seeing Grandpa in his yoga gear won’t haunt me forever.” She shuddered. “If that’s not the stuff of nightmares, I don’t know what is.”

A waitress sauntered over to their table and bowed, bringing out a notepad and pen. She didn’t say anything and simply stood there waiting for their orders. To the unfamiliar, this behaviour may seem a little strange, but it was one of the cafe’s charms. The servers never spoke a word, and if they absolutely had to, conversations were kept to a minimum. Four appreciated this - it meant more time for her to be alone with her thoughts, and it really did help with the relaxed atmosphere the cafe was trying to put forward.

“I’ll have a caffè macchiato with a blueberry scone on the side.” The waitress nodded and jotted down the order. It wasn’t usually what Four would get when she visited, but she figured she needed something strong - her eyelids were dangerously close to shutting close for good.

Callie scratched her head, unsure of what to order. “Um, guess I’ll just have a small iced coffee, thanks.” The waitress wrote down the order and bowed once more before heading back to the bar to make their orders. “Do they usually… not say anything? It’s kinda creepy.”

“It’s not creepy.” Four frowned indignantly. “It helps add to the refined and sophisticated atmosphere.”

“If you say so. Now that you mention it, I guess this place isn’t so bad.” Callie placed a hand on her chin. “I noticed the waitress didn’t freak out when she saw me, which was nice.”

“Naturally,” Four scoffed. “There are no ‘freak outs’ here. The staff are quite professional. I, myself, know of several other high-profile Inklings who stop by every so often for a quick drink, and come and go with no fuss.”

The waitress soon returned with their orders, bowing once more before retreating behind the bar. “Huh. That was quick. So what’s the reason you called me here?” Callie asked, sipping her iced coffee.

Four stirred her coffee with a small teaspoon before taking a small sip. “Can a squid not simply invite her friend over for a quick afternoon get-together?”

“If I were talking to literally any other squid, yeah, but if it’s with you…”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?!” Four stopped herself and took a deep breath, before clearing her throat. “What I mean to say is, I am rather shocked and saddened to hear that you think of me that way, Callie. Why must you assume that my invitations always carry ulterior motives?”

“Because they always do?”

Damn. She’s sharp. “Very well, let’s talk business then. I am in need of your advice and expertise. You see, I’m involved in a certain… matter that will be occurring in the near future that may require some assistance from your part.” She took another sip of her coffee, hoping she didn’t give away too much information.

Callie picked up her iced coffee and sloshed it around. “Oh, are you talking about your date with Marie?”

“GUHAK-” Four leaned forward in surprise, hot coffee leaking from her mouth. She grabbed a nearby napkin and desperately attempted to wipe it up, before slamming her fist on the table.  “How did- *cough* how the shell did you know about that?!”

Callie blinked. “Wait, seriously? I was totally just kidding right there, you know? Are you actually for real?” Her mouth slowly widened into a grin. "Oh my co-"

Four rushed forward and placed her hand on Callie's mouth, shutting her up before she could say anything more. She looked around, blushing heavily, hoping nobody overheard. “If you would be so kind, I will simply have to ask you to shut the shell up .” Thankfully, it seemed the only one else present, the waitress, was preoccupied with something in the kitchen and didn’t seem to hear anything.

Callie pulled Four’s hand away and leaned in, speaking in excited, hushed whispers. “Oh my cod, oh my cod, I need details right now. Who, what, when, where, why, how. Tell me everything . Did she ask you out or did you ask her? Oh who am I kidding, you’re a total coward, you definitely didn’t ask. When is it? Where are you going? Is it a movie date? Dinner?”

“Pardon me, but I am not a coward,” Four protested, “I have no idea where you’ve come up with such a baseless accusation.”

“Alright, alright, sorry. So you’re the one who asked her out then?”

“...”

“...”

“...No.”

“BOOM! Two for two. You’re on a roll, Callie!” She took a large swig of her iced coffee, her fatigue having completely vanished in light of the news. “So lemme guess, you wanted to ask me for help so you don’t completely blow this date.”

Four crossed her arms and looked away, pouting. “Well, I was going to but now I’m not so sure.”

“Aw c’mon, Four, don’t be like that,” Callie chirped. “I’d be happy to help - it’s not like I’ve got anything else better to do anyways, and I really do think you’ll need all the advice you can get.”

Four sighed. As annoying as it was, Callie had a point. She’d already lost so much sleep just trying to pick what to wear, she hadn’t even had time to think about how she should be presenting herself on the date. Having some knowledge beforehand would do a lot to ease her nervousness on the actual outing. She took a bite of her scone and grumbled, “I don’t know how to act around her. Whenever it’s just the two of us, I get too nervous and end up making a fool of myself. It’s so embarrassing!”

“Then why don’t you just try playing it fancy like you always do?” Callie asked sarcastically.

Four paused. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Callie nodded, intrigued. Four wasn’t the type to start sharing secrets about herself. She was curious to see what she had to say.

“This may seem a little shocking but…” Four took a deep breath. “I don’t normally speak or act the way I do now. I’m not as - as Three would put it - ‘stuck up’ as I currently seem. It is just a facade, an act.” She sighed and bit her scone. “You are the first squid I have told this. Nobody else realizes, or knows.” 

Callie gasped and covered her mouth in shock. “Nooooo…” She genuinely tried to act surprised and not let slip her thoughts. Wait, does seriously think nobody else knows?? Four, literally EVERYBODY knows??

Four nodded gravely. “Indeed. It is one of my best kept secrets, and for years, I have managed to live in this masquerade, eluding everyone’s notice. I owe it to my, I daresay, excellent acting abilities.” She took another bite of her scone as across from her, Callie had completely covered her face with both hands, the shock of the revelation clearly being too much for the pop star.

In reality, Callie was struggling not to burst out in laughter on the spot. It was extremely difficult - she couldn’t stop herself from smiling like an idiot, so she hoped that she was able to cover her face in time. She bit her lip and peeked at Four through her fingers and saw that the yellow-tentacled Inkling had closed her eyes and was nodding seriously, as if she had just revealed one of Inkopolis’ deepest, darkest secrets. The very sight almost made her lose it. She immediately slammed her head on the table and pinched her arms as hard as she could. Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh. Oh my cod, DO NOT LAUGH.

From Four’s perspective, it seemed that Callie had fallen into the depths of despair, unable to cope with the earth-shattering truth. It looked like her shoulders were shuddering - almost as if she was crying. Four felt a little guilty - after all, she too would be upset to know that a dear friend had been putting up a fake personality. How could they ever trust them again? “I know that the truth is shocking, but I hope that this does not affect our friendship. I will still be the same Four you know, although now that you are privy to my secret, I may show you what I am truly like one day.”

Callie suddenly stood up and made a hasty beeline for the nearby bathroom, covering her face all the while. “PFF- I need to… *snort* use the bathroom, oh my cod...”

Four stared after her as she slammed into the washroom doors. She sighed, “I do hope that she’s not too upset,” before returning to her scone.

A few minutes later, Callie emerged from the bathroom, wiping her eyes. Four noticed her face was flushed and it looked like she had been crying. As Callie sat back down, Four took care not to mention it and pretended like nothing had happened. She cleared her throat. “So, shall I continue?”

Callie nodded and covered her mouth as a small chuckle escaped. “No, yeah, keep going. I’m good now."

"Right, so as I was saying, I tend to get rather nervous around Marie and I would prefer it if I did not make a fool of myself tonight."

"I don't see a reason why you need to be so nervous. I think you two know each other well enough by now."

"That's just the very thing!" Four exclaimed. "I feel like I know nothing about her. In fact, I’m not even quite sure she actually likes me."

"...Seriously?"

"She's always teasing me, and I have a feeling she actually enjoys seeing me flustered." She bit her nails nervously. "Wait.” Her eyes widened. “What if this isn't a date?"

"Four-"

"What if this is just a friendly outing? She never really clarified!"

"Four!"

Four stood up and placed her hands on her head, panicking. "Oh my cod, did I just, like, totally misunderstand this whole thing?!"

"FOUR!!"

"What?!" Four snapped.

"You just knocked over all your coffee." Callie sighed and grabbed a handful of napkins, dabbing at Four's spilled drink.

Four looked down and gasped. "I'm sorry, I didn't-" She sat back down and placed her hands on her face. "Ughhh, I'm such a mess right now."

"No kidding." Callie shook her head at the waitress who had heard the commotion and was heading to their table with a towel. She bowed and returned to the counter. "Look, I'm not just saying this to cheer you up, but I'm like, 99% sure Marie's interested in you."

Four looked up miserably. "How would you even know that?"

Callie stared at her blankly. "Dude. She literally has a book filled with nothing in it but facts about you. Honestly, if she wasn't my cousin I probably would've called the police by now 'cuz that's super creepy."

“Isn’t that normal, though?” Four scratched her head. “She’s just keeping track of my statistics for Agent-related purposes. I figured there wasn’t anything more to it.”

“Yeah, no, I’m pretty sure it’s for way more than just Splatoon work. Besides, I don’t think she has one of those books for Three or me. I’ve only ever seen one for you.”

“Just… for me?” Four held her cheeks as she flushed red. “That’s... one of the most touching things anyone’s ever done for me.”

Callie squinted her eyes and shook her head in disbelief. Not exactly the word I would’ve used, but alright . “Anyways, you said wanted my help in winning her over, so I’ll help you out.”

“Really? Just like that? Honestly, I expected you to tease me about this more.”

“Sure, sure,” Callie said, taking another drink of her iced coffee, before muttering, “Maybe Marie’ll lighten up and just drop it with that whole concert thing yesterday,” she muttered.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!” Callie grinned and leaned in.” Alright now listen up, ‘cuz you and me, we’re gonna completely blow this entire date outta the water.”

…

Four paced nervously outside the restaurant, ignoring the curious looks of passing Inklings r. Marie had texted her earlier asking not to pick her up because she was preoccupied with something and to instead just meet her outside. Four glanced down at her watch. It was a quarter to eight, and they had planned to meet in fifteen minutes. She had arrived some thirty minutes earlier, and while she felt that it was far too late a time to show up on a date, Callie had assured her that it wouldn’t do her any good to arrive any earlier than that.

Yeah, so Marie usually tends to arrive on time, or just a bit later. There’s no way she’s showing up early, so don’t stress about it too much. Might as well take the time to get a nap in, you look terrible.

Four had taken that advice and slept a good four hours before getting dressed up and ready. It wasn’t so much a nap as it was a mini-hibernation, but she felt so much more refreshed afterwards. At the very least, she could think straight, and she would definitely have need of her full mental faculties if she was going to succeed. As for what she was wearing, again, Callie had given her advice on what would be most appropriate.

Just something simple, you know? Like something you’d wear if you were hanging out with Three or Eight. I know you like to dress fancy and all, but just chill out this time.

Four had taken this with a grain of salt. It just went against her entire moral code to dress so thoughtlessly on, what was to her, an extremely important occasion. Instead, Callie, of all squids, was the one to select her outfit. Four inspected herself against one of the restaurant's windows. She wore a plain white shirt underneath a gray cardigan, which was airy enough that if the temperature rose she wouldn’t be melting, but provided enough protection should it get cold. On her head she sported a yellow Firefin beanie that matched her yellow tentacles, and a pair of ripped jeans and Tentatek Neon Sea Slugs shoes for her lower half. It definitely wasn’t her preferred style but she admitted that the overall attire didn’t look half bad. She was used to wearing more feminine, sophisticated brands of clothes but she kept around clothes like this in her closet for situations where she would be feeling more adventurous.

Like the clothes Four was wearing, the restaurant Callie had recommended was on the simpler side as well. It was a running theme Four had noticed in their talks and it made her rather uncomfortable. Surely a world-class idol like Marie would prefer a similarly world-class bistro?

There’s a nice place off of downtown I think you should try, it’s called Makin’ Waves. Have you heard of it? Hey, don’t look at me like that! Just trust me, it super fresh.

When Four had arrived earlier, she was unimpressed. It was no Shrimp Shack , but it certainly was no Chez Aqua either. There were floral decorations around the entrance and it was located in a relatively well-to-do area but nothing about it particularly stood out. It lacked the elegance, grace, and atmosphere Four had come to expect. It seemed about as middle-class as middle-class could get.  It didn’t look like a reservation was required for seating either, but apparently Callie had already taken care of it.

I’ll set you up under a fake name. Using Marie’s would be out of the question, and it’d be kinda weird to put you down as ‘Four’. I mean, I could just use your real name, but…

Four rejected the suggestion. That was an entirely different can of worms she wasn’t willing to open. She was already nervous enough, and the last thing she needed was any more added stress. She checked her watch once again; it was now only five minutes till eight. She rubbed her hands together as her pacing became more frantic. Oh my gosh, what if I’m in the wrong place? What if she forgot? What if I forgot? Was it supposed to be tonight? Was it supposed to be at this place?

An approaching Inkling cleared her throat. “You’re pretty lively tonight, Four.”

Four turned and quickly wiped her sweaty palms behind her back, smiling nervously. “Marie! Oh thank goodness you’re here.”

“Of course I’m here. Did you think I forgot?” She chuckled and walked up to Four. Marie didn’t exactly look like she was dressed for a dinner date. She was wearing a simple light green hoodie and matching bucket hat, along with black shorts. A white face mask covered her mouth, no doubt to hide her identity. While Four had felt inadequate about her own clothes, she realized that it wasn’t such a bad choice after all. If she had dressed in bright, eye-catching clothing, it would have made them stand out and attract unnecessary attention. Now they just looked like two average Inklings out for a night in the city. She silently thanked Callie; maybe this part of her plan all along.

“Ah, no, I would never. I simply thought that I had texted you the wrong time and place, is all.” She could feel the sweat dripping down the side of her face. Calm down, calm down. Don’t be so nervous.

“...But you texted me just an hour ago with the details.” Marie pulled out her phone and opened it with a smirk. “Actually, you texted me about three times today with the details.”

“Just a precaution. You can never be too careful, what with text messages failing to send, or they not being read. B-But not to say you’ve been ignoring my texts! Clearly you’ve read them, or else you wouldn’t be here right now hahaha...” Four had to fight the urge to punch herself in the face. STOP TALKING!! “But enough of that, why don’t we head inside?”

Marie nodded and walked inside as Four held the door open for her. As they approached the front counter, a waitress greeted them. “Hi there. Table for two? Do you have a reservation?”

Four nodded and pulled out her phone. Callie hadn’t actually told her what names she had reserved them under, but she sent a text with the names a few hours ago which Four gotten around to checking. “That we do. It should be under, let’s see here… Ah, here we are!”

“It should be under the names Mary and… Fair...” Her voice slowly dropped into a mumble as she read the text aloud. There was an awkward silence among the three as Four stared at her phone in shock. After a brief pause, she slapped her head in frustration and screamed in her mind. What are these names, Callie?! How is Mary supposed to be any different from Marie? And what kind of name is Fair?? Wait is that… IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE FOUR EXCEPT YOU SWITCHED TWO LETTERS?!?!

Four was about to start screaming for real when she heard a small giggle beside her. She turned and saw that Marie was trying her best to hold back her laughter. “Yeah, that’s… that’s us. Mary and *snort* Fair…”

The waitress looked back and forth between the two of them before shrugging. “Sure, okay then. I do have your names on the list so if you’d just follow me…”

As they trailed behind the waitress, Marie nudged Four who was still shaking her head in disbelief. “I didn’t expect you to put our names down like that, Four.” She removed her mask and grinned at her. “That’s hilarious.” 

“Um, that wasn’t-” Four stopped herself. Did she really need to tell her the truth? Sure, the names weren’t her ideas, but maybe she didn’t need to mention that. After all, the date was already starting off strong; there wasn’t any reason to ruin the mood now. “Haha, well, you know, I just thought you’d appreciate it, is all.” She rubbed the back of her head awkwardly, looking away. I’m sure Callie wouldn’t mind if I take credit, would she?

The waitress ushered them into a booth and the two sat across from one another. They were handed their menus and waitress left telling them, “I’ll be back in a bit to take your orders.” Four scrutinized her menu with squinted eyes, looking for any mention of any “deep-fried” or “grease-dipped” foods, but to her pleasure she found that everything seemed normal enough. There were the standard staples found in these kinds of restaurants like french fries and salads, but she was surprised to find that they even served food like steak tartare. She doubted the authenticity and safety of eating such a dish in this establishment, but it was still nice to see some semblance of class. As for what she actually wanted to eat, she didn’t really fancy any particular dish.

“I’ve never actually been here before,” Marie said. “And that works out because I’ve been wanting to come here for a while now. I just never found the time.”

“Really?” Four raised an eyebrow questioningly. The restaurant wasn’t anything special - it seemed like every other one lining the street. Why would Marie be interested with this one in particular?

“Yeah. After Callie and I performed a concert a couple of years back this Inkling came up to us telling us he’d just opened a new restaurant and asked us if we wanted to come in, free of charge.” Marie flipped a page on her menu. “Officially, we had to decline. We couldn’t really show favoritism for brands other than our sponsors. But he seemed nice so we told him secretly that we’d promise to visit when we could. I’m just happy they’re still in business even now.”

Four nodded and stayed silent. I had no idea , Four thought. Again, this must have been Callie’s intention all along. But to think that Marie not only remembered the promise she had made years ago, she even kept it. She seemed rather happy to be here, which made Four happy as well.

“So what do you think you’ll be getting?” Marie asked, looking up. “All the choices don’t look half-bad, so I can’t decide.”

“Um, I’m not quite sure myself. I was planning to have whatever you were ordering.”

“Aw, don’t do that,” Marie said, frowning. “Since it’s our first time here, we may as well get something different so we have some variety.”

“Yes, of course! How foolish of me,” Four blurted out. She felt herself begin to sweat again. What are you doing, Four? You’re never supposed to order the same thing on a date! Hello, Etiquette 101?

When the waitress returned a few moments later, Marie placed an order for the Seafood Special while Four opted for the Fettuccine Alfredo. After the waitress had written down their orders and left, the two sat silently for a few moments, neither wanting to say anything first.

Oh my gosh, what do I talk about? What do I talk about? Four knew that silence on dates was tantamount to failure, so she had to do something to get the conversation flowing. “So, how was your morning?”

“Not too bad,” Marie replied. “Had to run to the convenience store to grab some milk ‘cuz Gramps drank the last one without telling anyone. Other than that, nothing else really happened. You?”

“It was fine, thank you.” It was a terrible response, and Four knew it, but what else could she say? She couldn’t mention anything about how she had spent five and a half hours looking for the right clothes to wear. And she definitely couldn’t bring up the secret meeting she had with Callie. As it was, there wasn’t anything she could reveal about her day.

“That’s good.” The conversation had unceremoniously died, and the two sat with their hands on the table, awkwardly looking around at the decorations and the other patrons. Four desperately attempted to think of something - anything - that would revive it again, but she came up blank. Whenever she would come up with what she thought was an interesting topic, she would just as quickly shoot it down, believing it to be superfluous or boring. She was desperate enough to start ranting about the fashion trends of the month, one of the only things she was confident in, before she remembered another piece of Callie’s advice.

Oh, and if you’re ever stuck and can’t think of anything to talk about, just ask Marie about the time we performed a concert on the Manta Maria. It was a super fresh experience and she loooves telling that story.

Four took a deep breath. Well, it’s not like I have anything else better to talk about. “So!”

Marie turned her head back, startled.

“I’m interested in hearing more about the kind of experiences you’ve had as an idol. I’m aware that you had quite a spectacular performance aboard the Manta Maria? I’d love to hear more about that.”

“Do you now?” Marie raised an eyebrow. “Well, if you insist. That was a concert we played a few years ago, and I still remember it clear as water because we weren’t even supposed to perform there in the first place.”

“Really?” Four leaned forward and rested her chin on her hands. “Do tell.”

“It was a few days after we released our single, Fuel the Melody . It blew up, and we were hounded by fans and paparazzi everywhere we went. Whenever we’d walk down the street we’d get surrounded, and we couldn’t get anywhere. We would try running away and every so often we’d lose them, but eventually someone would spot us and we had to do it all over again. It got to the point that Callie had the crazy idea to hide on a nearby ship, which we later found out was the Manta Maria.”

“Was there no security present?” Four inquired. “Surely, a vessel as large as the Maria wouldn’t be left unguarded.”

“Yeah, you’d think so, right? But here’s the crazy part that we didn’t know about until later - the ship was actually celebrating its 10th anniversary at sea that day and they were having a photo op with the Captain and a bunch of guests coming along for the ride. Apparently it was a really high-profile event and all the security guards were at the photoshoot, so were able to sneak in without anyone noticing.

Four’s nodded in amazement, but she said nothing, allowing Marie to continue. “We stowed away in the brig for a few minutes, and when we were sure we’d lost the squids who were following us, we started to leave. But then the boat suddenly raised its anchor and started moving! We peeked out from a porthole and saw Inkopolis shrink in the distance. We had no choice, we were stuck.”

“Then what happened?”

Marie grinned, a glint in her eye. “Well, that’s when security found us.”

Marie continued telling her story to an enraptured Four. How, when security found them, they were almost locked away for boarding illegally, but once they revealed themselves as the Squid Sisters, they made a deal with a Captain that they would perform a concert for the anniversary if they would drop it. There were many more twists and turns to the tale, such as when Callie got seasick halfway through the show and they had to improvise, or when they almost fell off the ship during a stunt. Marie was an excellent storyteller, and Four was on her toes the whole time.

After the story, Marie asked Four if she had any of her own adventures from before she became an Agent, which led Four into launching about how she had made deep and extensive connections within the fashion industry and grown to be the fashion guru she was today. Despite the confusing details, the technical jargon, and the new names being thrown out every few sentences, Marie seemed genuinely interested. Even when their food arrived and even after they had paid and left the restaurant, the two were happily chatting, engrossed in each other’s stories.

Distracted as she was, Four only noticed that they were outside once a chill breeze ran through her cardigan, making her shudder. She looked around and then down at her watch. It was already nine forty-five. How had time passed so fast without her noticing? She interrupted Marie and gestured for them to sit at a nearby bench. It was dark out, and the streets were empty now, save for the occasional couple walking hand-in-hand down the block. Streetlights illuminated the area, and lights from nearby stores helped brighten the night sky. As the two sat down, they stayed silent, enjoying the atmosphere of Inkopolis at night.

Four was the first to speak up. “I quite enjoyed tonight, Marie.”

“Same here, Four. It was fun. We should probably do it again sometime.”

“Mm.” Four nodded. The date was a success - they both had a wonderful time, and Marie had made it clear that she was happy to do it again in the future. But there was something in Marie’s tone made her nervous, which was odd since they were just happily chatting away with each other just a few minutes ago. Four turned to look beside her. Marie had hidden her mouth behind her mask - she couldn’t quite make out her face, but she was looking down. “Is there something wrong?”

“Hm? No, it’s nothing, it’s just that…” She paused for a moment. “Nah, no, it was good.”

Four leaned forward in concern. “Please tell me. Was it the food? W-Was it me?”

Marie placed her hands into her hoodie’s pockets. “No, not really. The night was great. Perfect, actually. Almost a little too perfect.” She turned to look at Four, her expression unreadable. “How’d you hear about Makin’ Waves , anyway?”

“O-Oh, just talk, here and there. Gossip in the street, and all that taff.” Four smiled nervously. Does she know?

“Hm. Alright. And what about the Manta Marina? I didn’t think a lotta squids knew about that. After the performance, everyone on board agreed to keep it on the down-low.” She held her gaze, now with an intensity that made Four shiver.

“...The internet?” Four squeaked. She knows.

Marie chuckled softly and turned away. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” She pulled out her phone and checked the time. “Huh. Didn’t know it was this late. I should probably head back to the Cabin now, Gramps’ll be wondering where I am.”

“Oh. Okay.” Four’s chest tightened. Was the date really just going to end like this? She was hoping for something more.

Marie stood up, fixing her bucket hat. “Alright then, be seeing you Four. If you wanted to do something next time, let me know,” she said, a hint of bitterness in her voice. 

As she turned to leave, Four’s heart dropped. Was that it? Was that really it? In her head, Callie’s last piece of advice rang out.

Oh, and if you really wanna know this out of the park, I got one last tip left...

Four bolted up and quickly reached out for Marie’s hand, spinning her around as she did. Marie looked back in surprise, before returning to a neutral expression. “What’s up? Did you forget something?”

“I’m sorry, Marie. I know why you’re upset.” Four stared into her eyes, her face determined.

“What? I’m not-”

“I know you expected something different. And okay, I’ll admit it. I asked Callie for help in setting this whole thing up. And, like, yeah, I totally asked her for help on where to go, what to say, what to wear.”

Four gripped Marie’s shoulders tightly.

“And you wanna know why I had to ask Callie for help?” Her voice was quivering, but she knew she had to push through. She couldn’t stop now. “Because you make me such a nervous wreck, Marie. Whenever I’m with you, my head gets hot, I can’t think straight, I can’t even get my words right. When you asked me out for dinner last night, you have no idea how happy, and how scared I was. What if I messed it up? What if it all went wrong and you ended up not liking me anymore? I couldn’t sleep because these stupid, annoying thoughts wouldn’t shut up.”

Four bit her lip to stop herself from shaking. “So, yeah, I talked with Callie because I wanted tonight to be as perfect as possible. I knew all my ideas were terrible, so I asked the one squid who knew you best. And you know what? Even with all the help she gave me, I was still so nervous the entire time. But when we finally started talking about our past, sharing our stories, I started to feel better. And when I saw you were laughing at my dumb jokes and even listening to my rant about clothes, that was that happiest I’d felt in a long time. Because, like, the thing is, Marie for the longest time…”

Marie gasped quietly as Four pulled their faces close.

Just try being direct with her. Honestly, she’s pretty weak to that stuff, even if she won’t admit it.

“I like you Marie. I’ve liked you for a while now, and I wanna go out with you.”

There was silence between the two. It seemed that time and sound had come to a stop, although Four could see that Marie was blushing madly - something she had never once seen before. Four realized how close they were to each other and quickly let go, her face reddening to match Marie’s. She covered her mouth and looked away before stepping back. “U-Um, well, that’s all I wanted to say. S-So um, bye!”

Four turned around and started to run away, pulling her beanie over her eyes. Oh my cod, just kill me. I can’t believe I said that, I totally blew it. Can lightning just come and strike me down right now? Just, one quick zap, that’s all I’m asking for. She made a beeline for the nearest corner, just to get away as quickly as possible when she heard Marie’s voice behind her.

“The answer’s yes.”

Four froze, and turned around slowly, peeking an eye from under her beanie. “S-Sorry, what was that? I had my hat over my ears.”

“I said, I’ll go out with you, Four.” Marie had already recovered from her shock. Her face was back to normal and showed no signs of her prior embarrassment. She strode over to where the yellow-tentacled Inkling was frozen in shock and took her mask off, smirking. “You seem surprised.”

“Ah, um, I-” Four’s mouth was trying to answer, but her brain was still trying to process what Marie had just said. “D-Did you say yes ?”

Marie rolled her eyes. “Yes. How many times do I have to say it?” She leaned in close to Four’s ear and whispered, “Anyways, I hope you’re ready, because I’m not gonna make it easy for you, Four." She turned and placed a gentle kiss on the Agent’s cheek. “Or, should I call you by your real name now?” She stepped back and gave her a quick wink. “I’ll see you around, Alice.” And without another word, Marie turned and left.

…

The following morning, two teenage Inklings blazed through the streets of Inkopolis on their skateboards, expertly weaving and dodging around obstacles all while performing a variety of impressive tricks. As they turned a corner, the teenager in the back spotted something in the distance and called out to his friend.

“Yo dude, slow down! There’s something up with that squid over there.”

The other boy squinted and replied, “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s go check it out.”

As they approached, they slowed down and got off their skateboards, approaching the figure cautiously. “Uh, miss? You okay?”

The Inkling didn’t respond. She was completely still, a look of both shock and euphoria frozen on her face. “Dude,” one of them whispered. “That’s really freaky, she’s not moving. Should we call an ambulance or something?”

“I-I guess?” The teenager took out his phone and began to dial the emergency number. “What am I even supposed to sa-” He and his friend yelled as the female Inkling suddenly rushed forward and pulled the two boys into a tight hug.

“SHE SAID YEEEESSSS!!!!!” Four screamed at the top of her lungs. Before they could react or say anything, she ruffled their tentacles before releasing her grip and half-running, half-skipping down the street and vanishing behind a building.

The two stood in shock. “...Dude, what just happened?”

“...I have no idea.”

“...”

“...”

“What the shell is wrong with this city?”

Chapter Text

Chapter 8: Eight and Salmon Run

“Ah, you should have seen her face when I finally gathered the courage to ask the oh so important question.” Four sighed dreamily and rested her face in her hands. “Her beautiful, lovely, amazing, face.”

Three stared at her with a look of pure disdain. “Four, did you seriously fucking wake me up and call me out here just to tell me about your stupid date?”

The two sat by a table outside a small ice cream shop while under the shade of a parasol. Three squinted in anger as a ray of sunlight reflected off a passing Inkling’s helmet directly into her eyes. Cursing under her breath, she took another spoonful of her ice cream sundae and shoved it into her mouth. Society would probably frown at her for eating desserts so early in the morning, but as far as she was concerned, society could bite her. She wasn’t a particularly cheerful squid to be around in the first place and having been woken up so early just to hear Four prattle on about her romantic endeavours did little to improve her mood. 

Four frowned. “You’re talking as if eight o’clock isn’t a perfectly reasonable time to wake up.”

She had a point - it wasn’t that early in the morning. It was already pretty busy on the streets, with Inklings heading off to work or school, but for Three it may as well have been four A.M.

“Why did the shell did you even call me out in the first place? We could have just kept talking on the phone, there was no reason for us to actually meet in person!”

“ Because ,” Four started, “the last time I called you to talk about my day, you hung up on me! And then the time before that, you fell asleep whilst in the middle of our conversation, which I must remind you, would be the sixth time you have done so. And need I mention last month when you-”

“I get it, shut up.” Three rubbed her eyes in frustration. “Don’t you have, like, any other friends you could bother instead of me? You know I don’t really give a shit about your life, so why do you keep telling me about it?”

Four smirked nervously and looked away. “Ah…” 

Three’s ears perked up as she stared at Four in suspicion. “Wait. Please don’t tell me I’m your only friend.”

“Of course not!” Four retorted. “I have plenty of friends, thank you very much. I, uh, simply figured that a commoner like you would appreciate hearing about the life of a high class noble such as myself. It would certainly be the closest you would ever come to experiencing some semblance of culture in your life.” Four covered her mouth with the back of her hand and leaned back in laughter. “Ohohoho~!”

Three gripped the plastic utensil in her hand tightly. I wonder if I can kill her with a spoon. Wouldn’t even be illegal, pretty sure I’d be justified. “Ugh, why did Marie even agree to go out with you in the first place? Not exactly sure what she sees in... you .”

To her surprise, Four nodded in agreement. “Indeed, that was quite perplexing to me as well. I had honestly expected her to turn me down then and there. And if you think about it-” Four scowled and stopped herself. “ Wait , hold on! Like, what’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Plus, isn’t there supposed to be a thing about dating your coworkers? Conflict of interest or whatever they call it.”

Four crossed her arms. “I don’t see anything wrong with it. Callie and the Captain have approved of it. They support it, even.”

“Yeah, but what’ll happen if you two get into a fight?” Three pointed her spoon at Four and leaned forward. “Or break up? Shit’s gonna get real awkward, real quick.”

“Why are you being like this? I thought you, of all squids, would at least be a little excited that Marie and I are together now.”

Three took another scoop of her sundae. “Seriously? You thought I’d be excited?.”

Four shrugged. “The fact that Marie and I are dating and the others don’t seem to mind opens up an avenue for you, is all I’m suggesting.”

Three stopped with the spoon halfway to her mouth. “What?”

“I’m saying,” Four clarified, rolling her eyes, “that if you wanted to seek a certain somebody out as a romantic partner, you’ll not find any objections from us.”

“Wha-” Three froze as blood rushed to her head. “Who said I wanted to go out with Eight?!”

Four scoffed. “Nobody. I never mentioned Eight. But since you’ve brought it up, I don’t see why you’re so against it. I know you’ve been eyeing her for some time now.”

“Kh…”

“Though if you do plan to pursue her, you would do well to be careful on your approach. I’m sure by now you’re aware that she’s extraordinarily ignorant when it comes to most matters. I’d wager her understanding of the concept of love would not be any better - a subtle hand won’t do much to sway her, and would more likely end up in a misunderstanding. I recommend stating your intentions directly, to avoid such a scenario.”

Three slammed her fists on the table and bolted up, knocking her chair back. “This is fucking ridiculous. I’m leaving.”

As Three turned and began to walk away, Four called out to her. “Grizzco’s hiring new workers starting next week. It might be a good opportunity for you to take Eight and introduce her to Mr. Grizz. Of course, if you choose to consider such an outing as a date, I shan’t begrudge you for it.”

Three stuck out her middle finger and trudged back to her home, hoping to salvage some of the hours of sleep she’d lost by coming to meet Four. Knew I should’ve hung up as soon as I saw her name on the phone. What a waste of fucking time. She sighed. But I guess it’s my fault for expecting anything in the first place. 

As she continued down the sidewalk, hands in her pockets, she quietly mumbled under her breath, “Me? Going out with Eight? She’s fucking crazy.” Three had only known Eight for a short time, and while it was true that they had very quickly gotten along, the thought of them dating was just an impossibility in her mind. For one, she doubted if Eight even knew what love was . After all, one of the first things the Octoling had done when they’d first met was to try to break apart a fire hydrant to study its components. She was someone who processed information in very concrete ways, and Three wasn’t so sure she could explain love to Eight in terms she would understand.

A few minutes of walking later, the scenery around Three gradually changed. The streets had become more run down, trash and cigarettes littered the sidewalks, and various graffiti tags were sprayed on the walls. Three turned a corner and approached the stairs leading up to her apartment complex. She knew it wasn’t the cleanest, or safest, of neighbourhoods, but she didn’t mind. The rent was cheap, and she knew the unspoken rules - that as long as you minded your own business, and kept a close eye on your surroundings, you wouldn’t get into any trouble. A small part of her even preferred this sort of dangerous territory as compared to the quiet, upper-middle class areas of Inkopolis. She’d grown up in similarly rough areas, and she felt a little more in her element when she was here.

Walking up the stairs, she spotted a poster on a nearby wall, vandalized and tagged with graffiti, yet still legible enough to make out the message.

Grizzco is hiring new workers for Salmon Run.

I want YOU!

For inquiries, see Mr. Grizz at the Square.

Three snorted and entered her apartment. Her room was on the sixth floor and because the elevator was broken - as it had been ever since she moved in - she would have to take the stairs every time. It was extremely tedious, especially when she was in a rush or tired from a long day, but she had no other choice. Heaving a loud sigh, she slowly made her way up the stairs.

After she had finally made it back to her room, Three immediately dropped on her bed, already completely done with the day. As she closed her eyes, Four’s words repeatedly echoed in her head. “Grizzco’s hiring new workers starting next week. It might be a good opportunity for you to take Eight...” Three shook her head to try to silence Four’s annoying voice. Shut up. Trying to sleep here. And I don’t care if I’ve got nothing going on next week, I’m not taking Eight to Salmon Run, and that’s fucking final.

…

“I am very excited to attend this so-called ‘Salmon Run’, Three. Once again, I would like to express my gratitude for accompanying me on such short notice.” Eight beamed as two strolled down the Square towards Grizzco’s place of business.

“Yeah… don’t… mention it…” The short and especially ticked-off Inkling was biting her cheek and trying her best to suppress her fury. Apparently, Four had texted Eight after Three stormed off from the ice cream saloon and invited her to participate in a Salmon Run together. At the very last moment, Four had told her she was busy and that Three would take her place instead.

When Eight had suddenly called her asking where they would like to meet up for Salmon Run, it didn’t take long for Three to put two and two together and figure out that Four was behind it.

She is so fucking dead. The next time I see her, I swear I’m gonna shove a spoon straight up her-

“This must be the entrance,” Eight said, as they approached Grizzco. “At a cursory glance, it does not seem to have the appearance of a respectable corporation. Yet, according to my research, Grizzco is one of the most financially successful companies in Inkopolis. It is very strange.”

Oddly enough, there didn’t seem to be any other Inklings present, or at least any that Eight could see. This struck her as odd - after all, based on the number of recruiting posters plastered all over the city, there should have been at least a few more Inklings showing up for the job. 

“Come on,” Three grumbled, stepping inside the building. “From the looks of things, it doesn’t look like Grizz is having a lotta luck with people taking shifts.”

As Eight followed behind her, she couldn’t help but notice how cluttered it was inside. Cans of what she assumed were seafood were found in abundance, some stacked, and others opened and emptied. Loose wires stuck out from the walls, and a net hung from the roof holding bright orange orbs with a dark centre. Eight gasped. She had seen these before, during her time in the Octarian Army.

“Those are the Salmonid’s Golden Eggs!” She never caught more than a glimpse of the shiny orbs. Normally, they were shipped directly to the R&D department for use as energy sources for their more powerful weapons and devices like Octoseekers.

“Yeah,” Three said. “You’ve seen those before?”

Eight nodded. “I have. They were a rare commodity in the Octarian Army, not normally encountered by the regular troops. I am surprised to see so many gathered in one area, and virtually unguarded, at that.”

“And what makes you think they’re unguarded?” Eight flinched as a small wooden bear statue she had neglected to notice suddenly began speaking. Or rather, a voice began broadcasting from a hidden speaker somewhere on the figure. It was small, about the size of both her open palms, and rested on top of a wooden crate. Eight hadn't paid it much attention when she first walked inside - she assumed it was just a decoration. But looking at it closely, it did seem a little out of place. For one, there was an antenna sticking directly out of its head.

Three waved nonchalantly at the statue. “‘Sup, Mr. Grizz. We’re here for some work.”

“Yeah? Good, good. I could use a couple of workers. Been a slow day today, not a lotta squids showin’ up. Last time I’m paying for poster ads,” Mr. Grizz spat. “Anyways, you, with the pink tentacles. I don’t think I’ve seen your face here before. You new here?”

Eight hesitated then nodded slowly. “Yes, I am.” Something about the voice unnerved her. Out of the corner of her eye, she spied a set of four monitors, showing security camera footage of outside the building. She quickly averted her gaze and continued. “I have read much about Grizzco, but I have never participated in a Salmon Run.”

“Ahh, I see. You’re lookin’ to become part of something bigger than yourself, huh?”

Eight’s heart skipped a beat. Those were the exact words that Commander Tartar had said to her when they first met. It might have been just a coincidence, but it still alarmed her all the same.

“Before you can start your first shift though, you gotta watch a training video to get an idea of what you’ll be doing. Consider it your orientation.”

“Nah, I think we’re good.” Three interrupted. “I can teach her the ropes as we go, we don’t need to see the video.”

Mr. Grizz grumbled in protest. “By law I’ve gotta show new hires the video or I’m liable to lawsuits. You know how it is.”

Three shrugged. “Fine then, we’ll just come back another time. Don’t wanna keep the *ahem* other squids waiting. Come on, Eight.” She turned to leave, hoping Eight would get the message and follow her. To her surprise, the Octoling didn’t protest and seemed almost eager to leave.

“Wait, wait, wait.” Mr. Grizz called out. “Alright, you don’t have to watch the video. But I’m not paying for any of your hospital bills if you get wiped out there.”

“You’ve seen me work before,” Three grinned. “You seriously think we’ll get wiped?”

Mr. Grizz grunted. “Just hop in the grate and get to work. We’ve got Golden Eggs need collecting.”

“Booyah. Aight, Eight. Let’s do this.” Three had to admit, at first she was more than a little angry after finding out she was tricked into taking Eight on a Salmon Run, but now she was getting a little excited. Turf Wars were, and would always be, always her favourite pastime, but splatting brainless Salmonids running at her in a straight line was a cathartic experience on its own.

“Very well.” Eight followed behind Three as the former leaped into a nearby grate. For her part, Eight was just glad to soon be out of the Grizzco building, but a thought made her pause. I... do not know where this will take me . She quickly shook it off, reassuring herself that Three had already gone in, but in that moment of hesitation, right before she morphed into her octopus form and followed after Three, she caught a glimpse at the four security monitors on the wall. Maybe it was just her imagination, or her nervous mind playing tricks on her, but she swore all four of them were zoomed in on her, showing a displaying a live feed of her every action.

The travel through the grate was more or less normal, but when Eight opened her eyes as she found herself aboard a small fishing boat in the middle of the sea. She blinked in confusion and looked down, noticing that she had also suddenly changed into some sort of ship worker’s uniform. She looked to her left and saw Three beside her, also wearing a similar outfit.

“Three? Where are we?”

“Shell if I know,” she answered. “Grizz just shoves us on this boat and takes us to one of the Salmonid’s breeding spots for our shifts. It’s kinda shitty, I wish he’d shell out the money to upgrade this thing. I swear it’s about ready to fall apart.”

“...I see. And may I ask what exactly a ‘shift’ entails?”

Three reached her arm across her body and stretched. “Oh, yeah, right. So basically once we hit land, Salmonids’ll start rushing at us and we gotta take ‘em out. The bigger ones drop Golden Eggs we gotta collect and throw in a basket. It’s pretty simple, but it gets tough when a whole lotta them come at once.”

Eight furrowed her brow. “What does Mr. Grizz do with all those Golden Eggs?”

Three shrugged indifferently. “Don’t know. He never tells us. But I don’t think it really matters. As long as we get paid, he could be having them for dinner for all I care.”

Eight remained silent, though concern was apparent on her face. Salmonid Eggs were potent sources of energy, and Golden Eggs even more so. Were Inklings even aware of this, or the potential applications of such materials? Granted, they were nowhere as potent as a Zapfish, but if one gathered enough Eggs it wouldn’t be unrealistic for them to rival, or even overshadow them in power output. What worried her the most was that Mr. Grizz most likely already possessed a large stockpile of eggs to himself. It is shocking, to say the least, and given Grizzco’s secretive nature, this is deeply concerning.

Across from where she was sitting, two new Inklings appeared, again out of thin air. Eight had grown accustomed to this strange teleportation phenomenon by now, so she didn’t pay it much mind. Her mind was preoccupied with thoughts about Mr. Grizz and his possible reasons for hoarding so many eggs. She hung her head and closed her eyes, hoping to concentrate. It wasn’t long before the boat lurched forward, beginning its approach towards one of the Salmonid Spawning Grounds fair distance away. 

The two new arrivals greeted Three and Eight cordially, before resuming a private conversation in hushed tones. Three was relieved they weren’t trying to start any kind of small talk, which she found more incredibly aggravating. She peeked over to her right where Eight was being unusually quiet. Normally at this point, Three had expected to be bombarded by a non-stop barrage of questions by the overly inquisitive Octoling, but right now she seemed distracted by something. Three was tempted to ask her what was on her mind but ultimately decided against it. She wasn’t the type to go prying, and she knew she’d personally find it annoying if someone tried to get into her personal business. Maybe Eight was the same way.

Three leaned back against the boat’s railing and stared out into the green sea as her tentacles flapped in the wind. The initial rides out to the Spawning Grounds were usually relaxing and a good time for her to be alone with her thoughts. Her mind wandered back to the conversation she had last week with Four. If you wanted to seek a certain somebody out as a romantic partner, you’ll not find any objections from us. Three sighed. She was never one for romance, though it wasn’t for lack of trying. She had gone on dates before and had even been in multiple relationships, but they were all short-lived and never led to anything serious. There was nothing particularly wrong with the squids she’d dated, but it was just that she preferred to do things on her own, and they would get often upset or offended that she never wanted to do anything together. She always told them it was nothing personal, and that she simply preferred her own company over that of others. But Eight was different. While she wouldn’t admit it, Three found the times they had spent together enjoyable, and she secretly looked forward to the next time they could meet again. Three couldn’t exactly pinpoint what she saw in Eight. Of course, physical attraction played a part - the Octoling was annoyingly adorable, and she would often have to stop herself from staring at her for too long. But there was also something about Eight’s naiveté, innocence, and ever curious mind, mixed with her strong sense of stubbornness and determination that attracted Three.

But to start, she had no idea how to even begin approaching her romantically. Eight’s obliviousness was a problem in and of itself, but Three generally wasn’t the type to make the first move. Out of all the squids she’d gone out with, she was never one to initiate the relationship. They would always come to her, which meant she had no experience in actually approaching others. What am I even supposed to say? Yo, Eight, crazy idea, what do you think about going out? It’ll be fun, trust me! Three groaned and rubbed her face in frustration. She’ll probably think I literally want to go outside. This is so fucked.

The boat slowed to a halt as it approached the Spawning Grounds. As it arrived within superjump distance, the gruff voice of Mr. Grizz boomed from a nearby loudspeaker, drawing everyone’s attention. 

“We’re here, everyone off.”

All of the Inklings stood up and approached a storage box near the bow of the ship. They opened it up, revealing a variety of weapons inside. The other two Inklings selected their gun of choice and superjumped onto the island while Three knelt down and inspected each weapon individually.

Eight approached Three from behind and leaned over to see. “Are these the weapons we will be using?” She inquired.

“Yeah, they’re custom made for Salmon Runs. Grizz likes to add mods to these things so they pack more of a punch, but these mods aren’t technically legal, so we can’t use them outside of here. Still, they’re shell of a lot of fun to use.” Three moved over so Eight could get a better look. ”Go ahead, pick your poison.”

Eight looked at each weapon. They seemed rather unwieldy. The Charger, in particular, had a large spiral tube attached to its magazine to provide drastically increased forward momentum. She wasn’t exactly sure what kind of weapon would be best for this activity, but the Charger looked interesting, so she equipped it as Three pulled out a pair of Dualies.

Eight noticed Three’s selection and tilted her head. “You seem to favour those, Three,” she observed. “Are they perhaps your preferred weapons of choice?”

Three twirled the dualies in her fingers and grinned. “Yeah, you could say that. Lets me get up close and personal with the bad guys while still giving me room to get out if shit hits the fan. Now c’mon, shift’s starting.”

Three morphed into her squid form and launched herself onto the main island, with Eight following close behind. As they landed, Eight nodded to herself and inhaled deeply.

“So I simply have to eliminate the Salmonids and collect their eggs. Three, you mentioned something earlier about the larger variety of Salmonids dropping the Golden Eggs. May you please describe their appearance to me so that I will know what I should prioritize?”

Three paused as the realization set in that she hadn’t bothered telling Eight about the different types of Boss Salmonids and their weaknesses. “Oh shit.”

A loud horn blared across the battlefield as Mr. Grizz announced the start of the shift. “The egg basket is ready and waiting. NOW BRING ME THOSE EGGS!” Almost as if on cue, a wave of Salmonid Chums emerged from the green slime surrounding the island, blabbering incoherently as they rushed the Inklings with their frying pans.

“You’ll, uh, know it when you see them. I gotta get going, just don’t get surrounded!” Three quickly jumped into the fray, leaving Eight behind. She’ll be able to figure it out. I mean, they’re just Salmonids, right?

Eight watched as Three leaped into a crowd of Chums, bobbing and weaving, as she avoided their strikes with an almost practiced confidence. During her time in the Army, she had come into contact with a few Salmonids here and there, though not in the numbers she was witnessing right in front of her. The Salmonids were frequent trade partners with the Octarians, swapping their Eggs in exchange for weapons and technology. They never parted with their Golden Eggs, however, which meant the Octarians would often have to steal them without the Salmonids noticing. To their credit, the Octoling spies assigned to these tasks were excellent at their jobs, often acquiring more than enough Eggs to keep the Octarian machinery running. 

Eight knew the Salmonids weren’t a particularly clever bunch, but she knew they were resilient, and underestimating them could lead to disastrous results. Heeding Three’s advice, Eight took up a sniping position on one of the nearby towers. The tower’s height provided her with a clear line of sight of the battlefield while at the same time protected her from being surrounded. She used this height advantage to prioritized picking off stray enemies whenever they were attempting to flank one of her teammates.

Slowly but surely, the wave of Chums started to increase in number. This was to be expected, but it seemed that this time there was a disproportionately large number emerging from the sea. While the group was able to fend them off with ease earlier, it soon became clear that they were at risk of being overwhelmed. The three Inklings on the frontlines would often find themselves surrounded, although none had suffered any serious injuries. But as wave after wave kept coming, even Three started to grow winded.

“What the fuck, why are there so many?!” She rolled out of the way as a frying pan swung past the air where her head had just been. Normally the Salmonids would attack in bursts, with a brief rest period in between, but there seemed to be no signs of them stopping. She quickly shot a glance at the other two Inklings who were ragged and practically drenched in the Salmonids’ green slime. It wouldn’t be long before they were completely splatted. She had luckily avoided any sort of damage, but she wasn’t sure how long that would last.

“You’ve got a Boss Salmonid incoming. DO YOUR JOB!” Mr. Grizz screamed.

Great. Fucking great.  

Meanwhile, Eight was still perched atop the tower, landing shot after shot without once missing a target. The Salmonids’ movements were predictable - they only ran in straight lines - which made it easier for her to lead her shots. She wasn’t attracting any attention, even in her elevated position. Chums would cast her a look but they would ultimately decide she wasn’t worth the trouble scaling the tower and would move to attack the others instead. As Mr. Grizz’s announcement echoed over the battlefield, Eight frowned. What is a Boss Salmonid? Were they the ones Three referred to earlier? She kept a sharp eye for any enemies that appeared to be of importance but detected nothing in her immediate vicinity.

Suddenly, a pained scream rang through the air, turning Eight’s blood cold. “Three!!” She turned towards the source of the sound and realized it came from behind a steep hilly incline that obstructed her view. Even at her current altitude, she couldn’t see anything beyond the crest of the hill. This explained why she hadn’t seen any Salmonids recently - she was so preoccupied with landing her shots accurately that she failed to notice they were all swarming an area she couldn’t see. She leapt from the tower and sprinted towards Three, adrenaline fueling her body. Her mind was blank, save a singular thought driving her forward. Three, please be alright. Please be alright. As she reached the top of the hill, she immediately spotted Three some distance away, collapsed on one knee and facing a Salmonid shielded behind a wheeled metal barrier. Without even thinking, Eight knelt and brought the Charger scope to her eye, taking a deep, but steady breath in.

Three grasped the side of her body and looked up at the Scrapper as Salmonid slime obscured her vision. She placed her other arm on the ground as a support to stop herself from falling over. Shit. This really hurts. The sudden appearance of the Boss Salmonids had caught her group unawares. Her two teammates had been wiped out not soon after, and she had found herself fighting alone. Yet, despite the overwhelming odds, Three was able to eliminate all of the enemies on her own, taking heavy damage in the process. However, such a feat had drained her entirely of her energy, so she was helpless when a stray Scrapper appeared out of nowhere and wheeled its way in front of her. She grit her teeth in pain as the green slime dripped down her body. Her weapons had been knocked out of her hands in the previous fighting, and as exhausted as she was, she couldn’t run away.

She wasn’t afraid of getting splatted, and she knew that the Grizzco life preserver on her back would eventually bring her back, but it was still an experience she’d rather not go through. She glared at the Scrapper as the Salmonid pilot snickered and shifted into full gear, determined to run her over.

Fuck.

Suddenly, the loud crack of a Charger echoed from behind her as the Scrapper exploded into slime and pieces of scrap metal, dropping several Golden Eggs in the process. Three had barely even processed what just happened when she felt a pair of arms lifting her up off the ground.

“I am here, Three,” A familiar voice whispered in her ear.

“...Eight?” She croaked. Three had lost sight of her since the beginning of the match, and she assumed that Eight had already been splatted. Immediately, a sense of guilt rushed over the Inkling. “Sorry for... leaving you behind…”

Eight shook her head quickly. “Do not worry about me. I must attend to your injuries.” As Eight cleaned off the slime covering Three’s body, she immediately started to feel better. Her body no longer felt so heavy, and she could feel her strength returning.

“Um, thanks… I didn’t think you were still- hmph?!” Three was suddenly pulled into a tight hug by the Octoling.

“Please, take better care of yourself in the future. I do not like seeing you hurt like this.”

“Y-Yeah, I will, but why are you hugging me?” Three tried to pull away but found that Eight’s grip was too tight.

Eight closed her eyes and rested her head on Three’s. “I am tending to your injuries. Based on my research, intimate embraces like this have proven to promote the release of various hormones and neurotransmitters that stimulate body healing, among other things.” She opened her eyes and smiled. “Are you feeling better?”

Yeah, something’s getting stimulated all right. Three usually found close physical contact uncomfortable but the feeling of Eight’s body pressed so tightly against hers made her heart race. “Yeah, yeah, I’m great, now can you let go? Please?”

Eight opened her arms and stepped back quickly. “I-I apologize. I did not realize I was making you uncomfortable.”

“It’s not that,” she muttered. Three walked over to where she had dropped her dualies and crouched down to pick them up. She turned her head halfway to look at the Octoling. “Do you… normally hug squids out of nowhere like that?”

Eight tapped her chin in thought. “Not particularly, no. Though, again, from what I could find from my research, embraces like the one I just performed are often only shared amongst close friends, of which I count you as one, Three.”

“Yeah?” Three gulped and stood up, walking towards Eight until they were nearly face-to-face. “Just a close friend? You don’t maybe see me as something more than that?”

Eight took a step back. “U-Um, yes, you are a dear friend to me,” she stumbled as her cheeks turned pink. She wasn’t sure what Three was trying to ask. She was her friend, probably her closest one, but the way Three was staring at her, with such an intense look in her eyes, made her shiver. “I do not- I am not sure- I-I apologize, I do not understand what you are trying to ask.” Why does my face feel hot?

“HEY! You two down there! Quit your gossiping and get your coworkers back up. And more importantly, get me those Golden Eggs!”

Three grunted, pulling the brim of her cap over her eyes. “Should probably get to that. Just forget what I said.” She turned and jogged towards a pair of life preservers that were slowly hovering towards them.  FUUUCK WHY DID I DO THAT?! Holy shit now I’m seriously wishing that Scrapper woulda just splatted me right then and there. Three resisted the urge to run to the edge of the island and dive into whatever green goop was surrounding it.

Eight hesitated then followed after her. She wanted Three to clarify what she had meant earlier, but it was clear the Inkling didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Eight rested her Charger over her shoulder and watched as Three shot at the life preservers, somehow bringing the other two to life. One of the Inklings rushed to collect the dropped Golden Eggs, while the other stretched out his arm and groaned.

He tilted his cap in gratitude towards Eight. “Nice save there. I couldn’t really see what happened, how'd you take care of that Scrapper?"

Three nodded, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, actually, what the shell did happen? I know you took it out, but I heard your shot come from behind me, which doesn't make sense.”

Eight tilted her head. “What do you mean? Was that not the proper procedure for eliminating the target?”

“Well, no, as long as it’s dead, it’s dead,” Three said. “But it’s just weird, you definitely couldn’t have taken it out from that angle. I mean, it’s got that damn shield covering it.”

“Oh, yes. The barrier.” Eight gestured at the remains of the Scrapper and explained. “It was very poorly made, and I spotted several vulnerabilities in its design. I theorized that a fully charged shot could penetrate it if I targeted these weak points, and it appears my prediction was correct.”

“You… shot through.. its shield?” Three and the other Inkling looked at each other in shock. “That’s not how- You’re not supposed to be able to-” Three blurted.

In all the shifts she had done, she had never seen anyone destroy a Scrapper from the front. Heavy, sustained ink fire could stun temporarily stun them, yes, but never outright destroy them. Eight was not only able to see the flaws in its armor and destroy it in a single shot, but to do it on her first try impressed Three, and made her a little nervous as well. She looks so clueless all the time, but she’s probably gone through way more combat training than I have. Can’t forget that.

“The enemy Salmonid appeared to have dropped Golden Eggs upon its destruction, but the eggs themselves seem to be unharmed. That is most unusual.” Perhaps the durability of these eggs is greater than I had first assumed. Additionally, Salmonids liked to keep their Golden Eggs closely guarded and hidden away in their nests. It perplexed Eight that Boss Salmonids were carrying them into battle so brazenly as this one had. It does not make any sense… unless… Of course! Eight snapped her fingers, realizing that the Boss Salmonid had been using the Golden Eggs as a source of power for its armour. It was a crude design, and she doubted that the Eggs were being used very efficiently, but that would explain how it was able to move without any source of external power.

“Next wave incoming. DO YOUR JOBS!!!” The alarm horn once again sounded as Salmonids waddled from the sea, babbling as they rushed the group with their frying pans.

“The Salmonids are swarming once again. Let us dispatch of them.” Eight morphed into her Octopus form and superjumped to another tower, this time selecting one that provided a full and unobstructed view of the entire battlefield. She brought the scope close to her face and began picking off Salmonids at an impressively fast rate.

The male Inkling stared up, mouth agape. “Who is she? She’s amazing! You two friends? Maybe you can introduce me sometime.” He turned to Three but found that she was no longer standing beside him. “Wha-”

Three grinned as she dove into the frontlines, dodging and splatting Chums in rapid succession. “Heh. Not bad, Eight. But I’m not about to get outdone by a freshie. Lemme show you how it’s done!”

Unlike the first wave, the remainder of the Run went much more smoothly. The Salmonids were showing up at a more manageable pace, and everyone took care to make sure they wouldn’t be surrounded again. When Boss Salmonids began appearing once more, Three would instruct Eight on how to deal with them, but most of the time Eight was able to figure it out on her own. The Octoling also had an uncanny ability to destroy Boss Salmonids in inventive and unorthodox ways. For example, instead of damaging Flyfishes by throwing Splat Bombs into their open missile launchers, she would instead shoot the hinges attaching the launchers to the main cockpit, causing them to detach and bringing the pilot crashing down. She even deduced that Steelhead bombs were powered from the tubings connected to the Steelhead’s mouth so she would shoot out these tubings, severely prolonging the time it would take to fully charge their bombs and making it much easier for the Inklings to destroy them.

At the end of the third and final wave, the surviving Salmonids retreated back into the water as the crew collected the remaining Golden Eggs left behind. They had collected a respectable amount of Eggs, which pleased Mr. Grizz. “Now THAT’s the type of performance I’m looking for. You’ve all got a bright future ahead of you. Especially you with the Charger. I’m looking forward to working with you again.”

Eight narrowed her eyes and nodded slowly. After all the Eggs had been collected and placed in the basket, the four workers superjumped back onto the boat where they were whisked away from the Spawning Grounds.

“That was amazing!” One of the Inklings cheered. “We got sooo many Eggs this time, I bet we’ll get a nice bonus for this.”

Three snorted. “Doubt it. Grizz is so fucking stingy, I wouldn’t be surprised if all we get is an extra meal ticket.”

The other two laughed. “Man, that’d be funny if it weren’t so true. Well, here’s hoping!”

…

Outside Grizzco, Three gazed at the five Crusty Sean food vouchers she held in her hand with awe. “Well, shit. He actually did pay us extra this time.” She grinned and licked her lips. “Shell yeah, this’ll cover dinner for a couple of days at least.”

Eight, on the other hand, was much less excited. She stuffed the food vouchers into her pocket as she stared off into the distance. Mr. Grizz had congratulated her after the successful shift and had left a message for her when she went to receive her rewards. “Good work, kid. Take these extra vouchers - consider it an investment. I think we can help each other, you and I. I know you’ve got questions, and let’s just say I’ve got the answers. See you soon, Octo girl.”

“Man, I should go do some more shifts.” Three chuckled. “Grizz doesn’t usually pay this much but maybe he’s so desperate for workers, he’s willing to pay more.” Three inspected her vouchers closely and gasped in surprise. “Ohhh shit, I didn’t even notice it but these vouchers are all for Triple-Fried Galactic Shwaffles! Alright, that settles it I’m going back for more, and nobody’s gonna stop me. ”

“Three.”

“Huh? Yeah, what’s up Eight?”

Eight turned to look at her, a serious look on her face. “Please refrain from conducting business with Grizzco for the time being.”

Three recoiled and scowled. “What? Why not? You didn’t have fun?”

“No, that is not my concern,” she sighed.

“Then what is your concern?” Three crossed her arms. “You’ve been like this ever since we got on the boat. “What’s going on? You can tell me, you know.”

Eight hesitated. She didn’t want to get Three involved in her, admittedly, outlandish suspicions. What Mr. Grizz had told her was questionable, but to others it might have seemed perfectly normal. After all, she had performed extremely well that Run, and it would be understandable that Mr. Grizz would want her to come back as soon as possible. The last thing she wanted was for Three to think she had all of a sudden grown paranoid for no good reason. Until she had more concrete proof, Eight knew it was best not to get others involved for the time being. But…

She knew she could trust Three. Eight knew that no matter how crazy or ridiculous her suspicions were, Three wasn’t the type to belittle her or brush her concerns off just like that.  At least, not before giving it some serious thought. “I do not trust Mr. Grizz - I believe he knows more than he lets on.”

Three raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

She took a moment to collect her thoughts, inhaling deeply before she began rambling, “There are several reasons why I find him untrustworthy, but I shall begin with the most obvious - for what reason does he collect so many Golden Eggs? I am not sure if you are aware Three, but Golden Eggs are potent sources of energy. The machines the Boss Salmonids were using were powered by these Eggs. Imagine the potential utility for powering similar machines and weapons with the Eggs. The thought alone is concerning.”

Eight placed her hands behind her back and began pacing. “I do not know exactly how long Grizzco has been operating, but even if they have hired workers to collect Eggs for only a few months, I do not doubt Mr. Grizz has an especially worrying amount hidden away somewhere. Which leads me to my next question - why are all the workers, including yourself, unaware of what happens to these eggs after they have been collected? I presume that there is a matter of this information being on a need-to-know-basis, but surely people would at least have a vague idea of what Mr. Grizz does with them. But it appears that is not the case.”

“Eight-”

“I shall move on to my next question - why have I never heard of Grizzco until today? I do not recall any mention of the company during my time in the Army. If anyone held possession of such a rich supply of Golden Eggs, the Octarians would have surely targeted them for attack many times over. And yet, to my admittedly hazy recollection, no such records were found in our databases, which strikes me as odd, given our extensive intelligence network.

“Yeah, but-”

“Not to mention,” Eight rambled on. “He seems to be aware that I am an Octoling. That in itself may not seem strange, but given the general lack of knowledge the residents of Inkopolis have towards the Great Turf War, it seems very unusual. To my knowledge, the only individuals that are aware of the existence of Octolings are those of the New Squidbeak Splatoon, and that is only because you have all had contact with the Octarian Army. But what of Mr. Grizz?” Eight’s pacing became more frantic, her speech quickening. “And what did he mean when he told me I had questions that only he could answer? What kind of knowledge does he have on me? Does he know the truth about my missing memory? Does he know why I woke up in the Metro? Does he know the truth about my parents?!”

“Seriously, Eight-”

“In addition, I believe he has been observing me!” Eight yelled. “Did you notice there were cameras recording my every move in the Grizzco lobby? And when we first met him, he repeated the exact words that Commander Tartar spoke to me in the Metro. I do not think that is mere coincidence. I-It cannot be-” Eight suddenly froze. “A few weeks ago, in the park. What if it was him observing me at that time? What if he has known about me ever since I entered Inkopolis?! What if-”

“EIGHT! Calm down!!” Three screamed in exasperation. Eight’s frantic motions were beginning to attract attention from others, and Three quickly whisked her away into an isolated and empty alleyway. “You’re freaking out right now, just take a breath, okay?”

Eight nodded and leaned against the wall, holding her arms close to her body. “I apologize for my outburst, Three. I know I am being paranoid about this, but you must believe me. Mr. Grizz is not to be trusted.” She looked up at Three with a pleading, almost desperate look in her eyes. “...You believe me, right?”

Three looked back at her. Eight looked like a scared animal backed into a corner. As crazy as what Eight had said was, Three couldn’t help but believe her. “You seriously asking me that? Of course I believe you. You’ll never have to worry about that from me.”

Eight smiled faintly. “Thank you, Three.”

“But even with that being the case,” Three pointed out. “We don’t really got any way to prove that any of the stuff you’re saying is true. And nobody knows how Grizzco operates, so I can’t say if Grizz really is on the up-and-up. We can bring up what you’ve said with the others in the Splatoon, but right now the last thing we wanna do is let Grizz know we’re on to him.”

“Aaand that’s exactly the reason why I’ll keep on doing Salmon Runs.” Three smirked.

Eight’s eyes widened. “But-”

“Don’t worry, I’m not doing it to help Grizz. But maybe I can do a little snooping around the place when I show up for a shift, see if I can find anything out on my own. And besides,” she added. “If I suddenly stop showing up out of the blue, he might get a little suspicious. Figures it’d be best to act as if nothing’s happened.

Eight looked down. “I suppose that would be wise. But...” She looked up at Three, worry on her face. “Please be careful. Do not do anything that would put you in danger.”

“Pfft.” Three chuckled, placing her hands in her pockets and leaning on the wall beside Eight. “Where’s the fun in that?”

Eight pouted and opened her mouth to protest when she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. “Hello. This is Eight.”

“Hi Eight, it’s Marina. Are you with Three right now?”

“I am. We just finished a Salmon Run at Grizzco. Did you wish to speak with her?”

“Um, actually, do you mind putting me on speaker? I want to talk to both of you.”

Eight pressed the speaker button and held the phone between Three and herself. “I have put us on the speaker phone mode.”

“Great. So, I’ve got some good news and some bad news."

Three raised an eyebrow. “Go on…”

“Okay, the good news is, the Deepsea Metro’s power turned back on. The train lines are all up and running, which means that we can go back down there and explore again.”

Eight gasped. “That is certainly good news! I have been worried about what has happened to the residents of the Metro like Iso Padre and C.Q. Cumber. I hope to see them again.”

“Uh-huh. And the bad news?”

“Being able to power the entire underground like that means that electricity has to be coming from somewhere,” Marina explained. “I ran a preliminary scan to try and find the source of the power and managed to track its origin to a large complex off the tracks from the ‘H line’.”

“So like a power station or something?”

“Not quite. Besides the power signatures I’ve read, there also appears to be other signals originating from this complex. In particular, I picked up a radio signal with a similar frequency to the one we found last week.”

Three frowned. “Wait… are you saying-”

“SECRET LAB!” Pearl’s voice burst from the speaker. “I told you, I told you! Who called that shit? This squid right here, baby!”

“Pearl, please! We don’t know for sure yet. But…” Marina sighed. “That’s the leading theory, yes. In either case, you two need to get back to the Tentakeel Outpost so we can talk about this in more detail. The others have already been informed.”

“We shall be there momentarily,” Eight answered, hanging up the phone. “Three, what do you make of this situation?”

Three crossed her arms. “I don’t know, we’ll have to see what the others have to say about it.” She paused. “But if it is some sort of secret lab, this could get real bad. You think it’s connected to Grizzco?”

“Possibly. But we do not have evidence linking the two together, and we should not make assumptions so rashly. It may just be a coincidence.”

“Might be. If that’s the case, then let’s not mention anything about Grizzco when we get to the cabin, at least for now. It’ll just make things even more complicated. Best to focus on one thing at a time, y’know?.”

Eight nodded. “Very well. Then let us go, they will be waiting for us.”

Together, the two Agents left the Grizzco building behind and headed for the grate leading to the Tentakeel Outpost. While they wouldn’t openly admit it, apprehension filled their minds, both for their present circumstances and for the upcoming meeting. And though the two hoped for the best, they had a feeling that whatever caused the sudden power surge in the Metro was only the start, the tip of the iceberg of whatever conspiracy that was just set in motion.

Chapter Text

Eight and Three arrived at the Cabin a few minutes after the summons. The rest of the Splatoon - including Pearl and Marina - were already present, gathered loosely around the area. The Off the Hook duo appeared to be setting up some sort of pyramid-shaped device about the size of an Inkling in the middle of the yard, and it seemed like they had been going at it for some time. They looked to be struggling with their task as Marina was typing on her laptop with ever-increasing frustration while Pearl looked like she was about to start punching the machine.

“Okay, now flip the switch to turn on the gyroscopic stabilizer. No, Pearl, that’s the frequency harmonizer, flip the other one.”

Pearl threw her hands up in the air in frustration. “Gaaah! How the shell am I supposed to know which switch is which?! They all look the same! Couldn’t you have put some labels on this thing?”

The Captain sat nearby on the wooden stairs of the cabin, idly stroking his beard as he hummed the Calamari Inkantation under his breath. He seemed rather unconcerned with the news regarding the Metro’s sudden power surge, though it was entirely possible that nobody had bothered to explain the situation to him yet. In either case, the Captain was content with watching the two fiddle on their contraption, often making comments about the situation.

“You know, back in my day, we didn’t have all this fancy technology. For our briefings, we’d all gather ‘round and draw our battle plans on the ground with ink. Won the Battle of the Inkhill Sound with something we slapped together in five minutes, we did.” He chuckled to himself. “How times have changed.”

Three and Eight approached Four and the Squid Sisters who waved as they noticed the Agents’ arrivals.

“‘Sup,” Three greeted. “We miss anything?”

“No, we haven’t started yet,” Marie replied. “Those two are setting up some sort of holographic device to present their findings, so we’re just waiting for them to get it up and running. Doesn’t look like they’re having much luck though.”

“It’s super cool!” Callie chirped excitedly. “It’s like we’re in the future now. Imagine holding a holographic concert, Marie! We’d be performing for a crowd while actually being miles away.”

Four scoffed. “It seems rather unwieldy if you ask me. I don’t see any reason why they couldn’t use just a simple screen. It’s much easier besides, and I doubt it would take away from the experience.” She looked at Three and smiled innocently. “And how do you do today, Three? I’m so terribly sorry I couldn’t make it to the Salmon Run, but I hope two had a fun enough time without me, hm?”

Three stuck out her middle finger as Eight answered. “It was certainly an... interesting experience. Though I do not know if it will be something I would do again.”

“Oh? Do tell. Did you the Salmonids give you a rough time?”

“It was not that. I just… Perhaps it was not the activity for me.” She chuckled nervously. She didn’t want to mention the real reason why she wouldn’t be doing it again - mainly her intense suspicion towards Mr. Grizz - and she hoped that by being vague, she could avoid any more talks into the subject.

“Ah. A shame, then. But I hope you had at least some fun with it.” Four smirked. “At the very least, I’m sure you appreciated spending that time with Three.”

Eight nodded eagerly. “I did. Very much so. It is always enjoyable spending time with her, especially since she is one of my closest friends.” Eight placed a finger on her chin and tilted her head. “Oh, yes. That reminds me. I was hoping that one of you could explain the progression of friendship between two individuals. I ask because during the Salmon Run, Three had expressed interest in being more than-”

“Wha-” Three slammed her hand on the Octoling’s mouth, shutting her up before she could say anything more. She blushed a beet red before quickly explaining, “What Eight’s trying to get at is that during the Run I’d asked her if we wanted to become besties. You know, I figured, since we hang so much we may as well, right? Ahahahahaha!!” Sweat dripped down her face as the other Inklings stared at her skeptically.

Callie shook her head and leaned in to whisper to Marie. “You know, I’ve been kinda wondering this, but have you noticed that all of our Agents seriously suck at lying? What’s up with that? Should that be, like, essential Agent skills 101?”

Marie smirked but didn’t reply, bringing her arms together in her kimono as Four stifled a laugh. “Three, my dear, you really need to work on your persuasion. That was the poorest attempt at deception I’ve ever seen. I could teach you a thing or two.”

Callie and Marie immediately turned their heads to Four and looked at her in disbelief. Out of the three of them, she was undoubtedly the worst liar by a wide, wide margin.

Three growled and stepped forward threateningly, while still holding Eight’s mouth shut. “And where the fuck were you today, huh? You were supposed to take Eight to the Run today, but you totally ditched her. And don’t think for a second I buy that ‘I was sick’ bullshit. What, were you too busy making out with Marie?”

Four’s jaw hung open as her face turned a shade of red to match Three’s. She attempted to come up with a witty retort, but her mind and mouth were refusing to cooperate with each other. “You- I- It’s- Well, I never! ” She stomped her foot on the ground and glared at Three. “I would never do such a thing.”

“What part are you talking about? The part about leaving your friend out to dry, or the part about smacking lips with Marie?” She narrowed her eyes and grinned as she noticed she was starting to get to Four. “Wait. Don’t tell me you two haven’t kissed yet?”

Callie formed her lips in an “ooooh” shape as Four recoiled back, turning an even darker shade of red. “That’s- That’s none of your business!” She quickly peeked at Marie who looked back at her and winked, making her heart race even faster. Not helping!

Three didn’t let up on her advance and kept pushing forward, hoping that by doing so everyone would be too distracted to remember what Eight had said earlier. “What’s with that face, Four? Is that a yes, then? So does that mean you have kissed? Then have you made out? Touched each other” She grinned wickedly. “Had se-”

“Eureka!” Marina yelled in excitement as the holographic projector hummed to life, displaying a large image of the Metro’s railway map.

“Finally!” Pearl groaned. “Holy carp, that was a pain in the ass, I’m never doing that again. “ She turned to the group of Agents and screamed, “Alright all y'all over there, get yo asses over here! We’re ready to go.”

Four’s ear twitched as she immediately pounced on the opportunity to escape. She grabbed Marie’s hand and started marching over to the projector. “Oh would you look at that the meeting’s starting wow that’s good timing let’s go Marie.”

Marie giggled and turned back to the others, pinching her fingers close together and mouthing, So close.

Callie burst out laughing, bending over and struggling to catch her breath. “Ahahaha!! Oh man… It’s… It’s times like these that make me so glad we hired you two.”

Even Three, who wasn’t the type to be easily amused, couldn’t help but crack a smile. “Hey, she messed with the squid, she got the ink. Maybe she’ll learn to stop fucking around with me.” She released her grip over Eight’s mouth, who blinked in confusion. “Ah, yeah, with Eight too.

“I did not understand much of that earlier conversation but it appeared that you and Four were quite flustered,” Eight noted. “Were you having a verbal disagreement? If you would like, I have read an online resource on proper conflict resolution that would help facilitate the speedy repair of your relationship.”

“Uh… think I’ll pass on that, but thanks.” Why does Eight keep reading up on the most random shit? “Let’s just go hear what those two have to say about the mission.”

Eight nodded, looking slightly disappointed. “Very well. But if you two have another conflict in the near future, I will be sure to apply what I have learned.” The two moved to join the rest of the group, with Callie following behind, still trying to stifle a few chuckles.

As they got closer, Callie looked up and squealed excitedly, suddenly running to the hologram and attempting to swipe through the projected image with her hand. As expected, it passed through with no resistance, the holographic map distorting ever so slightly as she did so. “So cooooool~!” Callie took another step closer and furiously waved both her arms over the hologram, cackling loudly.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Pearl scolded. “Be careful! You’re gonna knock something loose and I am not fixing this stupid thing if it breaks.” She shooed away the disappointed Squid Sister and stood beside the projector, drawing everyone’s attention by clearing her throat. “‘Sup! Y'all know why we called you out here, but me and Marina figured we’d give you some more details before you decided on a plan of action.”

“That’s right,” Marina said, pressing a button on her laptop. In front of them, the image zoomed out, revealing the entire map of the Metro, and highlighting the various rail lines within. “As you’re all aware, the power in the Metro suddenly switched back on, and the trains have resumed their usual routes. The source of this power,” She continued, pressing another button. “Originates from a source I traced to the ‘H’ Line here.” The corresponding track glowed a bright blue on the map. “The closest station would be this one here, the Break & Bounce Station.”

“If I’m not mistaken,” Cuttlefish spoke up. “That’s where Eight found one of the Thangs that Tartar had her collect.”

“That’s correct, Captain. It’s probably just a coincidence, though.”

“C’mon, Marina. Tell ‘em about the secret lab.” Pearl urged.

“It’s not-” Marina sighed. “Alright, fine, look.” The Agents watched as the map in front of them came together and morphed into a blurry white triangle. “This is the building I isolated the power surge from.”

“It’s a... triangle.” Three pointed out, as if that was helpful.

“Don’t you have a better picture?” Marie asked. “It’s a little hard to figure out what we’re supposed to be looking at.”

Marina shook her head. “Unfortunately, no. The Metro is extremely deep underground, and it’s tough enough trying to get a good picture of anything down there. This was the best I could do under the current circumstances. The only way we can know what it looks like for sure is if someone actually goes down there themselves and records it on a camera. ”

Four crossed her arms. “And this building. You had mentioned earlier that it was transmitting radio frequencies not unlike the ones we’ve encountered before.”

“Correct. However, unlike the earlier broadcast, there doesn’t seem to be anything on it that I can decode - it’s just white noise and static. But they’re definitely the same frequency wave, so I’m almost certain they came from the same origin. ”

Three raised an eyebrow skeptically. “So, you want us to go in there and do… what exactly? Just show up, snap a couple pics, then leave? Seems like a waste of time to me.” She shrugged. “I dunno, I feel like we should just wait and see until we can get more info about the place before committing people to back down there.”

“Didn’t you do something like this with Gramps before, though?” Callie pointed out. “Like, exploring those Kamabo labs. Erm, that is before you got knocked out, mind-controlled, and forced to almost murder Eight.”

“Hey! That thing with the slime was just a lot of bad luck, it ain't gonna happen again. And about all those labs I busted into, the only reason I did that was ‘cuz we had evidence that Kamabo was working with Octavio so we had to shut ‘em down before they could do any real damage. This situation’s different, we got no idea what this thing is or if even belongs to Kamabo in the first place.”

“Agent Three has a point.” Marie ceded. “I’d rather not risk any of us going back into the Metro unless we know exactly who or what our target is.”

“But we can’t just sit around and do nothing again!” Pearl protested. “This could be really big news. And think about it, if there’s something in there powerful enough to restart the entire Metro , don’t ya’ll think that’d be good enough reason to take a look? What if any of those blue zombie Octarians got in there first? We’d be screwed if they got their tentacles on that kind of technology!”

“Preposterous,” Four scoffed. “Those soldiers served Kamabo and Kamabo alone. If the Corporation shut down they wouldn’t be able to act independently.”

“But that’s the thing!” Callie retorted. “We don’t know if Kamabo’s really gone, and if they’re not, then the Sanitized Octarians would try and take the power source. That’s why we need to send a team down there in the first place!”

The briefing erupted into shouting as everyone argued whether or not it was worth it to send a few Agents back into the Metro to inspect the building. Pearl, Marina, and Callie were of the mind that they should, at the very least, send a team to scout the area, and if possible, enter the premises to determine the possibility of the energy source being used against them. On the other hand, Three, Four, and Marie argued that they should act conservatively, continuing observation until more information could be uncovered. Both sides had valid points and it seemed like no real plan of action could be formed. Eight stood silently and contemplated the merits of each plan. A part of her wanted to head straight back underground and investigate this power source. She agreed that if it had the potential to be used as a weapon, then it was in their best interest to secure it or shut it down immediately. On a more personal note, she was also wondering what had happened to her old friends in the Metro like Iso Padre and C.Q. Cumber. Were they still down there? Were they okay?

And yet, another part of her knew how dangerous the Metro was, and that wandering around down there without any concrete information of what they were looking into would practically be akin to suicide. She was genuinely torn on the matter.

“Why don’t we ask Gramps his opinion?” Callie suggested. “He’s the Captain, so we should at least hear what he has to say about this.”

Marie nodded. “Agreed. Gramps, what’s your take on this? You think we should send a team in there?” The group all turned to the Captain, who had somehow fallen asleep despite all the yelling. He rolled over and snorted, mumbling to himself.

“.zzz… hnng- no... Sir Tentalot... the princess… gkk- is in another castle… *snort*…”

“...”

“Okay, so that didn’t help. Any other ideas?” Marie looked at the others for suggestions.

The group was silent until Marina raised her hand meekly. “Um, I have one. Why don’t we ask Eight for her thoughts? She hasn’t said anything but she’s probably the one who has the most experience in the Metro, so I think it would be good to hear from her. Eight?”

Eight’s ears perked up at the mention of her name, and before she had even realized, she found herself at the centre of everyone’s attention. She hadn’t expected to be brought in to the conversation so abruptly, and at this point, she hadn’t yet made up her mind on the matter. Still, she knew she had to give an answer, and in situations like this, she knew more than anything to trust her intuition. Taking a deep breath in, she met the gaze of each members present and confidently stated, “I believe we must investigate this matter and enter into the Metro once again.”

…

It wasn’t long before a rough battle plan was drafted up. A small group of volunteers, the Infiltration Team, would delve into the Metro and investigate the source of the energy surge. They would take the rail lines to the Break & Bounce Station and perform reconnaissance with the aid of a Support Team above ground. Under no circumstances were they to enter the building itself until they could confirm that it belonged to the Kamabo Corporation. If it did belong to Kamabo, they were authorized to enter the premises and find out what information they could.

Pearl and Marina volunteered to stay above ground, stating that they already had the experience with the role. “Don’t worry, whoever’s going down there, we’ll be with you every step of the way,” Marina assured.

Eight was the first one to volunteer to join the Infiltration Group, and Three, who had previously objected to going, decided to go with her.

She shrugged. “Whatevs, if Eight’s going, I am too. Been away from the action for too long anyways.” Rolling her shoulders, Three even looked a little eager. Maybe it was her sense of adventure calling to her, or maybe her pride was still hurt that she had been taken out so easily the last time. Either way, she was raring to go.

Four also opted to join them, eliciting a cheerful smile from Eight and a look of disdain from Three. “I suppose I shall accompany you two for this journey as well. After all, this team is in dire need of grace and finesse, and I will be more than happy to provide.”

“This coming from the squid who’s the type to charge in first, ask questions later?” Callie joked. “I don’t think you’re exactly-”

“Grace and finesse,” Four repeated loudly. She had to confess, she was also excited to head into the Metro herself. From the stories she’d heard and the reports she’d read, it seemed like a place fraught with danger and action, two of her favourite things. She wouldn’t admit it openly, as it went against her mask of sophistication, but deep inside, she yearned for this kind of excitement.

“Then I guess me and Callie will stay up here.” Marie brought her kimono sleeves together and grinned. “You three are the best Agents we have, so we’d just slow you down if we came along.”

Callie groaned. “Aw man, I wanted to see what was down there. Oh well. Make sure you girls take a lotta good pics, ‘kay?”

The three Agents suited up into their respective outfits, inspecting themselves and making sure everything still fit snugly. Three dusted off her dark and tattered cloak and strapped it around her neck. Whenever someone would bring up the topic of the cloak, she would always argue that it was for protective purposes. After all, it provided an extra layer to block any incoming ink shots from the rear, and if needed, could even be used as a shield if she pulled it in front of her. But in reality, the garment was for purely cosmetic purposes - something about black, flowing capes made her feel more like some sort of dark avenger of the night.

Eight zipped up her combat high heels and fastened bright yellow bands around her ankle and wrist. It was surprising that she chose to incorporate high heels into her outfit, given that they were typically known to restrict movement. This was especially perplexing given Eight’s no-nonsense attitude towards combat - she definitely wasn’t wearing them for their fashionable appearance. Instead, her boots were actually specially designed by Octarian Engineers, awarded only to Octolings who have shown exceptional skill and merit in combat. Rather than hinder her abilities, they actually allowed her to move with increased precision and speed, both invaluable attributes on the battlefield.

Meanwhile, Four was scrutinizing herself against a mirror meticulously, fixing the slightest crease in her outfit and smoothing out her tentacles with a brush until they were practically glistening. Back before she had saved Callie from Octavio, Marie would often complain that Four would spend almost an entire hour in front of a mirror before every new area. 

“You’re just going to get dirty anyways,” She would repeatedly point out. “Why do you have to do this every time?” Over time she had gotten used to it, and she knew that were was no dissuading the Inkling from her pre-battle grooming, so it was for the best to leave her to it.

As the Agents got ready, the Support team was busy setting up their equipment and ensuring that the communication lines were working properly. While traditional radios would not work within the depths of the Metro, Marina had managed to replicate the transmission chip in the CQ-80 and install it on the Splatoon’s radios, allowing them to without any loss of signal. Within minutes, they had set up an impressive working area, complete with a large round table topped with monitors of various shapes and sizes.

“We’re good over here,” Pearl declared. “Cameras are workin’, so we’ll be able to see everything you see.”

Marina nodded. “We’ve also attached sensors to your uniforms to monitor your health and vital signs. It wasn’t so bad when we were just watching out for Eight, but following all three of you at the same time makes things a little tougher. This just gives us a little more warning in case things go wrong.” One of the monitors displayed the Agents’ heart rates, while another had 3D models depicting the status of each Agent. The models were currently green, indicating they were all at optimal health, but Marina explained that they would turn yellow, and eventually red if they took enough damage.

Marie stood nearby, studying each monitor with interest. “Wow, you two’ve put a lot of work into this. I’m impressed.”

“Oh yeah,” Callie exclaimed. “Before I forget, let me go grab your weapons. You’ll probably need those.” She rushed into the cabin and stepped out a few moments later, carrying two Hero Shots and an Octoshot in her arms. She handed the Agents their respective weapons, and gave them two thumbs up, grinning widely. “Good luck out there!”

Three hoisted her Hero Shot over her shoulder and tapped her Agent headset which began glowing a faint green to match her tentacles. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

Eight nodded and joined Three as they made their way to the island’s exit grate. Four turned to follow them, when she was stopped by Marie.

“Do you really have to go, Four?” she whispered, pulling her away from the others. “This’ll be your first time in the Metro, and I’m just a little worried about you.” While she was more than confident in Four’s skills as an Agent, she was worried that Four’s impulsive nature would get her hurt. While such daring behaviour had served her well in the Octo Canyon, the Metro was a much more dangerous and unpredictable place, especially with the limited amount of information they had on it.

“Nonsense.” Four replied, placing a hand on her chest and grinning confidently. “I’ve faced far greater dangers than this. This shan’t be a challenge at all.”

Marie hesitated, before chuckling and shaking her head. “Yeah, who am I kidding. You’ll be fine. But, still…” She grasped Four’s hands and leaned in, whispering, “Take care of yourself out there, Alice. Please?”

Four smiled and rested her forehead on Marie’s. “Yeah,” she said quietly. “I promise.” The two closed their eyes, and for a moment, everything fell silent. It felt like there was nobody else there but them. That is, until Three very loudly cleared her throat in annoyance.

“If you two lovebirds are done over there, we kinda have a job to do.”

The pair looked up, noticing that all eyes were now on them. Marie smirked and quietly stepped back, shrugging as Four’s face turned a bright red. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to hold you all up. Get going, Four.”

Eight stared at the two with curiosity, intrigued by the close physical relationship they were displaying. She leaned in to Three and whispered, “I do not understand. What purpose did holding hands and resting their heads on one another serve?”

Three snorted. “They’re just being gross, that’s what.”

“They were being... gross? Intriguing. If it was not done for any other reason than being ‘gross’, then I assume it is some form of tradition within the Splatoon.”

“Oh yeah,” Three rolled her eyes. “We do that kinda shit aaall the time.”

Eight nodded. “I see.” She reached out for Three’s hand and squeezed it. “Then perhaps we perhaps also-”

Three yelped and quickly pulled her hand back, blood rushing to her face. “No! I was just joking! Oh my cod , Eight!” She turned and stomped off to the exit, muttering angrily to herself as Eight stared in confusion.

“...Did I misunderstand?”

…

The Agents stood around the station platform, waiting for the next train to arrive. The Support Team had informed them the next train wasn’t due to arrive for another ten minutes, so they had no other choice but to hold tight and wait. The three had entered the Inkopolis subway through the entrance in the Square, and through winding corridors and hidden passageways, they had found themselves in the Metro proper. The Central Station was just as Eight had remembered. The wide, open space had, ironically, made the atmosphere feel more oppressive, and the dim, flickering lights made her uncomfortable. It brought back bad memories to when she had almost been ground to a fine paste by a giant blender.

“Ugh! Dreadful. Absolutely dreadful,” Four whined.

“What is it, Four?” Eight asked.

“This.” Four gestured around her with both arms. “All of this! The lighting, the atmosphere, the décor ! Everything about this place is horrid.”

“It’s a train station,” Three said blankly. “They all look like this.”

Four scoffed. “I don’t know what sort of train stations you’ve been frequenting, but this is a sorry excuse for one. I mean, look at this! I’ve never seen quite a-”

Three moved beside Eight as Four wandered off, rambling loudly to herself. “Hey. How you feeling?”

“Ah, Three. I am fine, thank you. Why do you ask?”

Three shifted uncomfortably. “I dunno. I just figured with all that’s happened down here, you’d be a little weirded out coming back.”

“Please do not worry about me,” Eight said, smiling. “But what about yourself? I am sure your experience in the Metro was no better than mine.”

Three chuckled. “What, you mean other than spending half the time knocked out and then having my mind taken over by some radioactive slime?” 

“Yes. Exactly.”

Three sighed. “I’ll be honest with you. My entire time in this fucking place was nothing but a nightmare. When I infiltrated Kamabo’s labs, I saw a lot of things. Real fucked up things. There were weapons, experimental armour designs, battle station schematics, and yeah, those were pretty bad, but nothing like some of the other things I saw.” Three winced, as if reliving a painful memory. “I’m never gonna forget it.”

Eight frowned in concern. “What? What did you see in there, Three?”

Three leaned in and muttered, her voice seething with fury. “They were running experiments, Eight. Live fucking experiments on Inkling and Octoling test subjects.”

Eight was stunned. She was aware that Kamabo was running tests on live subjects, seeing that she had been one herself. But the look on Three’s face suggested that they were doing much more than observing if someone could push an 8-ball into a hole.

“Kamabo might be gone,” Three growled. “But if we see anyone or anything that has to do with them down here, we take them out. No exceptions.”

Eight took a step back nervously. “O-Okay.”

Three paused before leaning back and rubbing her arm. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you nervous like that. I just wanted to make it clear where I stood on Kamabo.”

“And the paneling!” Four yelled from across the platform. “My word, I had no idea rotten wood was in style this season. Clearly, I’d forgotten to read that memo!”

Three rolled her eyes and Eight giggled as they both took a seat on a nearby bench and waited.

Above ground, the Support Team was busy ensuring that everything was still in working order. Each member was responsible for monitoring a single Agent. Callie was overseeing Three’s status, Marie was watching over Four, and Pearl monitored Eight. Marina’s desk was the largest and most complex, as she had taken charge over the entire mission as a whole.

“Erm,” Marina mumbled. “Four’s been going at it for a while, hasn’t she?”

“Weeeiiirdo,” Pearl snickered.

“I’ve asked this before, and I’m gonna ask it again. What exactly do you see in her Marie?” Callie asked, spinning around in her chair.

Marie sighed and rested her head on one hand. “Yeah, sometimes I wonder…” She glanced up as a red beeping suddenly appeared on one of the monitors. Marie sat up and grabbed a nearby microphone, pressing a button to transmit to the Agents. “Hey, heads up everyone. Your ride’s here.”

The Agents stopped and stared down one of the dark tunnels, as the ground and walls suddenly began to shake. From the distance, the roar of the train’s engine could be heard, only growing louder as it sped in their direction. Four quickly jogged to rejoin the other two, reaching them just as two bright lights emerged from the shadows of the tunnel. A loud screech reverberated across the station as the train pulled on its brakes, eventually coming to a stop in front of the trio.

The doors slid open with a soft hiss, welcoming them inside. Three and Eight stepped into the train as Four hesitated. “Must I really…? Ugh, very well.”

Eight quickly looked around and hung her head in disappointment when she noticed that the train was empty.

“What’s up, Eight?” Three asked.

“It is nothing. I was just... I was hoping I could see the others again. The friends I made during my time here.”

“Hm, hm, hm.” A deep chuckle sounded from across the train, drawing the attention of the Agents. “I’m glad you haven’t forgotten about us.” A large Isopod wearing round, black sunglasses and a black leisure suit had opened the door of one of the adjacent carriages and was approaching them. On his shoulder lay a bright blue sea cucumber, although missing its usual black Kamabo Conductor Cap. Instead, in its place was a larger, more ornate, version with a gold band wrapped around the crown. The Kamabo logo was nowhere to be seen.

Eight gasped. “Iso Padre! C.Q. Cumber!” Rushing over to them, she quickly threw her arms around the Giant Isopod, who stumbled back in surprise before laughing and returning the hug.

“Hoho, the young Octoling. It seems like ages ago since we’ve seen each other. How are you, child? Have you achieved your dreams since we last met?”

“Welcome back, Agent Eight.” C.Q. greeted. “It is a surprise to see you back in the Metro.”

Eight stepped back and smiled. “I am very happy to see you two again. I had hoped you were both unharmed, and it seems I had nothing to worry about.  But…” Eight tilted her head. “I am curious. What has happened to your cap, C.Q.? It looks much different than before.”

C.Q. nodded, his cap bouncing on his head. “Ah, yes. Regarding my previous employment. Following the dissolution of Kamabo Corporation, I did not feel it right to continue wearing the company uniform, so I discarded it. In spite of this, I knew that there were still those who relied on the train system for their daily commute, so I had resolved myself to continue conducting the trains, even if not in an official sense.” C.Q. hung his head sadly. “However, after the sudden power outage throughout the Metro, none of the railways remained functional, and despite my best efforts, there was nothing I could do to bring them back. I had taken that as a sign that it was time for me to retire.”

C.Q. looked up and wiggled on Iso Padre’s shoulder, almost as if in glee. “But imagine my surprise when only recently, the power had resumed and the trains were once again operational. With no Kamabo Corporation to lead the enterprise, I decided to take over as the Head Conductor of all Metro Lines, along with Iso Padre.”

Eight clasped her hands together. “That is wonderful. I am glad to hear that.”

C.Q. nodded. “It is a daunting task, to be sure, but I believe someone must do it.”

“And who are your friends here?” Iso Padre rumbled. “I don’t believe we’ve met before.”

Three and Four stood some distance away, watching the exchange with an equal measure of confusion and suspicion. Three, in particular, was watching C.Q and Iso Padre with narrowed eyes and bared fangs, her hands gripping her weapon tightly. “What’s it to ya?”

Four placed a hand on Three’s shoulder and stepped forward. “Now, now, Three. There’s no need to act uncivilized. Ahem. Greetings, my name is Agent Four. You must be Iso Padre and C.Q Cumber? I overheard Eight mentioning your names earlier. I apologize for our… overly-cautious behaviour. Three and I have not met many denizens of the Metro, you see, and for my part, it is my first time here. It is a pleasure to meet you.” Four held out her hand in greeting.

“Hm, hm, hm,” Iso Padre chuckled. “The pleasure is ours.” He stepped forward and reached out with several of his arms to shake Four’s hand. “Any friend of Eight is a friend of-”

“Back off, bug-boy!” Three warned, suddenly pointing her weapon Padre.

Iso Padre quickly took a step back, raising his arms in surrender. “Oh my! Please, there is no need for that.”

Eight’s eyes grew wide and she stared at Three in shock. “Three! What are you doing? They are my friends!”

“Didn’t I tell you before, Eight? We see anyone involved with Kamabo we take them out. No exceptions.” She stepped forward as Padre took another step back, arms still raised. “They’re bad fucking news, Eight. And if you haven’t forgotten, that glowing asshole right there forced you to run all those fucked up tests while you were down here. I’m not letting that go.”

Four cautiously approached Three and attempted to calm her down. “Three, I think you should just put the weapon down and perhaps we can-”

“Shut up!” Three yelled at Four, who recoiled and stepped back. “You didn’t see the shit I saw down here. If you did, you’d be pointing your gun at them too.”

“Three!” Marina’s frantic voice came from the Agents’ headsets. “Those two helped Eight escape! Without them, she wouldn’t have gotten out. Please. Just put the gun down.”

Three shook her head, ignoring Marina’s voice. Placing a finger on the trigger she brought her Hero Shot up to her face and took steady aim at Padre and C.Q. I’m sorry, guys. But I’m doing the right thing here. You’ll see. Three had just about pulled the trigger, when Eight suddenly stepped in the line of fire, holding her arms out to block the shot. Three was about to yell at her to move out of the way when she saw the look Eight was giving her. The Octoling was livid, and if looks could kill Three figured she’d already been splatted a million times over. The only time she’d seen Eight get this mad was during their conversation with Octavio, and it was enough to make her uncomfortable. But even beyond the anger, there was something else in Eight’s eyes, that made Three’s blood run cold, though she couldn’t say exactly what. Was it sadness? Disappointment?

“If you wish to harm them,” Eight warned, her voice trembling in fear and anger. “You will have to shoot me first.”

Sweat dripped down the side of Three’s face as her eyes darted between Eight and the two cowering behind her. Three knew Eight wasn’t bluffing - she would gladly take an inkshot to protect the pair. For a moment, the train was completely silent, and it was as if time had come to a standstill. Nobody dared to make a move. Eight never took her eyes of Three and Three’s hands began to quiver. After what seemed like an eternity, Three threw her arms down. “FUCK!” She turned around and pushed through the door leading to the connecting carriage before slamming it shut behind her.

"...Well, that certainly could have gone better," Four said as she relaxed her body. She sighed. "Whatever shall we do now?"

C.Q. crawled out from behind Padre's back where he had been hiding. "Oh dear. I didn’t think my previous affiliation with Kamabo would cause this kind of development. Please understand, I meant no malice to you when I was conducting those tests. I was simply doing what I was instructed by my employer."

Eight lowered her arms, her body still trembling from the adrenaline. "I know. You assisted me many times during my time here. Your knowledge was invaluable, and the CQ-80 you gave me was critical to my escape. I just wish Three understood that. What should I do?”

“Just give her some time,” Marie responded. “Let her cool her head off for a bit. The four of us up here will try and explain the situation to her.”

“In the meantime,” Marina added. “I think we can trust Padre and C.Q. with the details of our mission. Let them know what’s up, and maybe they can get us to the facility faster. We’ll monitor your situation as it progresses. Support team out.”

Four tapped her headset and leaned against the train, crossing her arms. “Then that’s all we can do, I suppose. Head Conductor C.Q., I shall be brief. We are Agents of the New Squidbeak Splatoon and we are here to investigate the source of the sudden power surge. We believe it originated from a station located on the ‘H’ line, and we must get there as soon as possible. I don’t suppose you could get us there, tout suite ?”

“Please,” Eight added. “Time is of the essence.”

C.Q. looked up, as if deliberating something. After a short pause, he nodded. “Of course. I wish to make amends for putting you through those tests. This train shall depart for the H line immediately.”

“Thank you,” Eight said gratefully.

The glowing sea cucumber slid off Iso Padre’s back and made his way towards the front of the train. Within moments, the train began to move, speeding its way towards the H line. Eight and Four took a seat beside each other while Iso Padre sat across from them. The trio sat in silence, with Padre crossing his arms and staring out the window behind the Agents.

Four cleared her throat. “I can’t say I’ve ever met someone of your species, Padre. What did you say you were again?”

“Hm, hm, it is not surprising that you haven’t met someone like me before. We are a quiet people, we Giant Isopods. We do not tend to wander above ground, yet our journeys take us places far beyond our homes. Agent… Four was it? You seem the jovial sort. It reminds me of myself when I was younger.”

“Erm… thank you?”

“And Agent Eight, before I forget.” Padre shifted and reached into his pocket. “Do you still remember these?” He asked, pulling out a small Mem Cake in the shape of a Jellyfish.

“A Mem Cake!” Eight nodded. “Of course. You asked me to collect those, and they have been invaluable in helping me regain my memory.”

Four leaned forward and squinted. “What’s this, then? Some sort of cake, you say?” She’d never seen anything like this before, and the design a little strange. A little quaint, but they have a certain charm about them, I suppose.

“They are Memory Cakes,” Eight explained. “They are scattered throughout the Metro and can be eaten like any food. Aside from their unique and varied designs, they have the odd characteristic of enhancing one’s memory once ingested. In fact, it was because of these Cakes that I was slowly able to piece together the fragmented memories of my past.”

Iso Padre crossed his arms. “Indeed. I had asked Eight to collect them before she left. They hold a special place in my heart, you see. But once she had disappeared, the burden fell upon me to gather any remaining Mem Cakes. You will be happy to hear I’ve managed to find the ones you’ve missed.” He reached once again into his pocket and pulled out a clear plastic bag containing a variety of Cakes. “I give these to you. I hope they will help you move one step closer to remembering who you were.”

Eight received the plastic bag with a grateful bow. “Thank you, Padre. I do not know how I can repay you for this gift.”

“Hm, hm, hm. Repay me by continuing on your journey. Your future is still waiting for you, and the path is bright, child.”

Eight peered into the plastic bag and pulled out a Mem Cake shaped like a Splat Bomb. She popped it into her mouth and chewed slowly, savouring the flavour. As she did, the feeling of a gentle breeze slowly entered into her mind, clearing her thoughts and making her feel at ease. She closed her eyes. Yes… I can remember it more clearly. A warm smile. Joyful laughter. This is a scene from my past...

Four glanced curiously between the bag and Eight, who looked lost in her own world. “I don’t suppose you’d let me try one of those, would you?”

“The choice is ultimately up to Agent Eight,” Padre said. “But I would recommend that she use them solely for herself. Her lack of memory concerns me and I believe she will need all of those Mem Cakes and possibly even more if she has any hope of fully recovering..”

Eight opened her eyes and smiled, as if in a trance. “I… I think I saw them. My parents.”

Four raised both eyebrows. “You did? Do you remember what they looked like?”

“We were outside, playing a game,” Eight giggled dreamily.

“...Interesting. You should consider getting those Cakes looked at by the others back at the Outpost. Maybe we can figure out how they work and refine their effectiveness. Getting your memories back might be the key to finding the remaining Octarians still under Octavio’s control.”

As far as train rides went, this one went pretty smoothly. The train would hit the occasional bump, or sometimes make a sharp turn, but it was an overall pleasant ride. Four and Iso Padre spent most of the time chatting with each other and asking each other questions about their respective cultures. Four was particularly interested in the philosophy of the Giant Isopods. According to Padre they were wanderers at heart and followed wherever their feet would take them. Once they left their home, individual Isopods would rarely see each other again. The idea of wandering alone made Four uncomfortable - she was an extremely social squid and having no contact with others for a prolonged period of time would drive her mad. But there was something noble about wandering without a purpose, save to find a purpose. Perhaps I will have to try that someday. Ah, but I have to make sure to bring Marie with me, of course. And Callie. And Eight. Oh, and I suppose if she begs, I would also deign to bring Three.

Eight would join in on the conversation every now and then to make a comment or ask a question, but her mind was preoccupied with the earlier confrontation with Three. Eight could see glimpses of the Inkling in the next carriage, pacing and talking to herself - though she noticed that Three would frequently touch the headphones on her ears which meant she was probably arguing with the Support Team. Eight wanted to get up and speak with her right away, but she knew it was best that she wait. She thought back conflict resolution guide she had read that suggested that both parties ‘cool their tentacles’ before attempting to re-establish a means of communication. She sighed and resigned herself to wait a little longer, tapping on her legs impatiently.

…

Twenty minutes after departing from Central Station, C.Q.’s voice rang over the train’s announcement system. “We will be arriving at the Break & Bounce station in approximately ten minutes. Thank you.”

Four and Padre were continuing their lively conversation, this time about the kind of clothes Inklings and Isopods wore. Four was extremely immersed in the talk, excitedly waving her hands in the air as she delved into the hidden intricacies of Inkling fashion. Padre, for the most part, nodded along, offering a point of commentary here and there to supplement Four’s talking. Eight had excused herself from the group a few minutes prior, standing by the entrance to the adjacent carriage, curiously peeking through the door’s window to see what Three was doing.

By this point Three had ceased yelling into her headset and was now lying down on one of the long train seats, resting her hands behind her head with eyes closed. She opened one eye and glanced at Eight. Three sighed and tapped her earpiece, opening a line of communication with the Octoling.

“You know, if you’re just gonna stand there staring at me, you might as well come over here. It’s kind of freaking me out.”

Eight flinched, surprised that her surveillance was caught. She cleared her throat and entered the carriage, shutting the door behind her gently. It is time to put my conflict management skills to use. Three had closed her eyes again, so Eight took a seat across from her and sat with her hands on her knees quietly, staring at the Inkling.

Three tensed her body, waiting for Eight to say something, but she never did. Every so often, she would open her eyes ever so slightly to see if Eight moved at all, but every time Eight would just be sitting there, staring at her. As time went on, she could feel her heart beating faster and small drops of sweat would start to run down the side of her face. Why the shell isn’t she saying anything?! It was as if there was a ticking bomb right beside her, except she didn’t know exactly when it would explode. After a few more minutes of no activity, Three’s mouth twitched in annoyance and she sat up and screamed, “Look, I know you’re mad at me, so just yell at me already! You not saying anything is making this way worse!”

Eight blinked in surprise. “Oh. I apologize. I thought you had fallen asleep.”

“Fallen aslee- I just told you to come in! How could I have fallen asleep that quickly?” Three shook her head, dumbstruck. “And actually, since we’re on the topic, were you just going to sit there and stare at me while I slept?!”

“Yes,” Eight answered.

“I- I don’t even-,” Three closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose in frustration. “Whatever. Not even surprised at this point. So what now? You gonna chew me out for what I did earlier?”

Eight leaned back and rested her hands on her lap. “I was angry at you, yes. But I have ‘chilled out’ regarding our earlier ‘beef’ and I am ready to ‘set the record straight’.” Eight would awkwardly add air quotes whenever she would say these phrases.

“...What?”

“I wish to speak to you about C.Q. and Iso Padre. They are not the enemies you make them out to be.”

“I already know,” Three said, as she stood up and placed her hands in her pockets. “The others told me who they were and what they did for you while you were down here. And okay, I admit it, maybe I was wrong about them, but you gotta be more careful of who you trust, Eight. There’s too much shit going down here and I can’t help but be worried about you.”

“I know. And I am thankful for that. But please trust in my judgement - I would not willingly side with those who mean to do me harm.” Eight paused and nodded to herself. “There is no need to be ‘whack trippin’, yo.’’

“...” Three squinted suspiciously at Eight, before shaking her head. “But anyway, you know I’ve got your back whenever, wherever. I won’t let anything hurt you, Eight.”

Realizing what she had just said, Three blushed and quickly added, “B-But that’s ‘cuz you’re part of the team, you know? Gotta watch each other’s backs and all!”

Above ground, Callie who was watching the exchange, rolled her eyes. “Smooth, Three.”

“Of course,” Eight responded. “Teamwork depends on the cooperation of the team members to overcome the weaknesses of each individual. We must always be ready to assist each other in our times of difficulty.”

“Ahaha, yeah! That’s what I meant,” Three laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her head.

“But,” Eight added. “Even with that said…” She pulled her knees up to her chest and blushed slightly. “It makes me happy to hear you say that.” Eight peeked up at Three and smiled. “Thank you, Three.”

The Inkling quickly turned away and stared out the window. “Y-Yeah, don’t mention it.”

There was a soft ding as C.Q.’s voice once again echoed over the intercom. “We are now arriving at Break & Bounce station. Please ensure sure to remove all of your belongings when departing. Thank you.”

“Well.” Three picked up her weapon spun it around her finger. “End of the line.”

“Indeed.” Eight stood up and approached Three, holding out her fist in an awkward manner. “So are we ‘cool, ‘homie slice?’” Eight said, without a trace of irony in her voice.

“Uh, yeah, I guess?” Three glanced at Eight’s fist which she was holding out at a right angle to her chest, unsure if she was trying to ask for a fist-bump. Three hesitantly returned the gesture, tapping Eight’s fist with her own as Eight opened her hand and fluttered her fingers stiffly, pulling her arm back as she made a blowing gesture.

“That was ‘mad fresh, G'”. Eight puffed out her chest and pointed at Three with both fingers.

Three stared at Eight. “You know, I’m kinda curious but this wouldn’t happen to be part of that ‘conflict resolution’ thing you talked about earlier, would it?”

Eight gasped and clasped her hands together, smiling. “I am glad you noticed, Three! Yes, I was following the instructions on the article I had read online.”

“Uh-huh. Think you could show me this article?”

“Of course. I have the web page book marked on my cellphone for future use.” Eight pulled out her phone, showing Three the title of the article, Makin’ up with yo homies: It ain’t no thang!

Three sighed. “Figures. C’mon, let’s go.”

“Right behind you, ‘dawg’.”

“Also, stop talking like that.”

“Okay.”

Before leaving the train, Eight thanked C.Q. for taking them there so quickly, and asked if he could keep the train there for just a little longer until they were finished their mission. The conductor was happy to oblige and assured her the train wouldn’t be going anywhere. Three had even given a half-hearted apology to C.Q. and Padre for her earlier outburst which pleased Eight. Padre waved his hands dismissively and smiled.

“Life is about forgiveness. I am glad that we could come to terms, child.”

C.Q. crawled back up onto Padre’s shoulder. “While you are all away, I will run a routine maintenance check on the train. But do not worry, it will be ready to depart whenever you return.”

Surprisingly, Four was actually the one most reluctant to leave the train. She was in the middle of one of her rants when the train stopped and Three had told her to get off. Seeing that the Inkling was a little put out that she couldn’t finish their conversation, Padre assured her that he would be more than happy to hear the rest of her story once their business had concluded. This was enough to satisfy Four, who happily stepped off the train.

“My goodness, this is a rather dreary sight, isn’t it?” Four looked around the drab surroundings, making a face of displeasure. “I don’t see anything resembling a facility around here. Are you sure this was the right stop?”

“Positive,” Marina replied. “The energy signature is coming from near your location. See if you can find a hidden switch or a button or something.”

The Agents moved deeper into a station and up a ramp leading onto a circular platform surrounded by a wide clearing. The platform itself was wide enough for all of them to step on and wander around, and in the middle was a small white circle that glowed faintly. The area around the platform was open, almost impossibly so, with nothing but empty space in all directions. It looked as if the empty space stretched on forever, but because of the thick mist around the area, it was hard to tell.  Three cautiously walked to the edge of the platform and peered down.

"Doesn't look like we’ll find anything down there.” She stepped back and grunted. “Looks like a bottomless pit. I’m definitely not in a hurry to confirm that theory."

"This is strange," Eight commented. "If I recall correctly, there was supposed to be another train terminus at this location. It seems to have vanished." She squinted and tried to look into the distance, but failed to glean anything. The fog around them hadn’t been this bad when she had last come here.

Four looked around in amazement. "I'm surprised there was this much space underground. Seems like the perfect place to establish a few new fashion boutiques. I can imagine it now: La Caverne Noire! Chic, new fashion so fresh it’s literally underground. I should ask Fathe-, erm, I mean, I should ask my friends what they think about it.”

Three rolled her eyes and knelt down, hoping to come upon any hidden switches or panels in the ground. Four wandered around, making animated gestures with one hand. “A little restructuring of the interior would be needed, but surely that’s part of the charm. I’m thinking black marble columns-” As Four took another step forward, she happened to step upon the white ring on the center of the platform, causing it to brighten up considerably and emit slow pulses of light. A soft hum reverberated around the entire platform as Four froze in shock.

“...Oh dear. It appears I may have done something just now.”

The other two immediately turned to face the source of the noise. Three quickly stood up and looked around. “Oh my cod, what did you do this time?”

“I did nothing!” Four replied indignantly. “I was simply walking around when I stepped on this… thing, and it lit up like this.” She paused before adding, “But other than it lighting up, it doesn’t seem to be doing anything else, which is good.”

Three growled as Eight stared at the ring “Four is correct. It does not appear to be some sort of trap. Look.” She pointed at the ground where two other rings had mysteriously appeared. Unlike the first ring, these two were not pulsing and appeared to be in a dormant state as the latter had been earlier. Despite Three’s protests, Eight cautiously approached one of the rings and gingerly place a foot down on it. As soon as she made contact with it, it also lit up, the humming around them growing even louder.

The Agents’ earpieces crackled as Pearl chimed in. “Ohh, I think it’s some sort of switch! Three, try stepping on that last one over there and see if it something happens.”

Three took a step forward and stopped. “Wait, what if it blows us up?”

“...Then I guess it was nice knowing ya.”

“Pearl!” Marina scolded. “There’s no need to make them even more nervous. Even if it might blow them up.”

“Yeah, it’s not gonna blow you uuup,” Callie said reassuringly. 

“...Erm, probably.”

“Not helping,” Three muttered.

A sigh came from their earpieces as Marie chimed in. “As much as that would totally suck, I don’t think we have any other choice. This seems to be the only way forward. I don’t think it’s going to blow you up.”

“Could you stop saying it might blow us up?!” Three rubbed her head in temples and looked at the other two. “What do you guys think?”

Four shrugged indifferently. “For what it’s worth, I don’t really care if you step on it one way or another.” She was trying to pass off as being nonchalant about the situation, but it was clear in her eyes and quickening breath that she was more than a little excited. Ah, this is it! The tension, the pulse of adrenaline coursing through me - this is what I came down here for! I wonder what’s going to happen, ooh, I can’t wait to see! I hope she steps on it. Step on it, Three! STEP ON IT!!!  

Four very unconvincingly attempted to feign a yawn. “We could just wait here all day, I suppose.”

Eight placed a hand on her chin and considered the situation. “I think you should step on it, Three. While it is possible for it to be a trap, it would not make much sense design-wise. Why would it require us to willingly activate it? Additionally, why would it require all three of us? If it was meant to harm, it would have activated the moment Four stepped on the first ring.”

“Yeah… guess that makes sense.” Three conceded. ”But if we die, I’m definitely haunting Callie.”

“Hey! Why me?!” came the idol’s indignant reply.

Taking another hesitant step forward, Three planted her foot squarely in the middle of the ring, causing it to light up. Together all three rings pulsed in unison, gradually speeding up as the hum around them grew louder and louder. The platform started to rumble as loose pebbles fell from somewhere above them. “Ah, shit. It’s totally gonna blow us up.” 

Instead of exploding, however, the rumbling slowly came to a halt and the humming died down. There was a bright flash followed by a shimmering of light, as in front of them, the air began to materialize into something resembling a solid. 

“What the…”

The Agents stared in awe as a large shape warped into view, seemingly out of nowhere. It was shaped like a pointed mollusk shell on its side, with the hollow end facing them. The shell itself was pure white, but Eight noted that unlike the white material she had seen at Chez Aqua , this one appeared to be made of metal, not stone. It gave the structure, a strange, almost alien look that unnerved her. A single, giant glass door covered the entrance, but aside from that, there were no windows or any other means of entry into the building. While the facility itself was not physically imposing, only standing about one-and-a-half storeys tall, a singular logo plastered right above the entrance confirmed everyone’s worst suspicions.

“Kamabo,” Three uttered. She gripped her weapon tightly. “I’m going in.”

“Wait, Three.” Eight quickly grabbed Three’s arm and stopped her before she could run inside. “We must await orders from the Support Team.”

“No, we don’t.” Three pulled away angrily. “Our orders were to bust in only if the place belonged to Kamabo.” She pointed to the logo on the building. “And that’s obviously theirs!”

“Please,” Eight begged. “At the very least, let us confirm with them before we make any rash decisions.”

Three glared at Eight for a few seconds before sighing and tapping her earpiece. “You guys got all that?”

“We did,” Marina answered, rapidly typing on her computer. “Running a quick cross-match between Kamabo’s logo and the symbol on the building and… yeah. Looks like a match. You’re free to enter, but please be careful.”

“See? There’s no need to be so-” Three stopped as Four suddenly darted past her and into the building, laughing loudly.

“Last one there’s a super, totally, rotten egg!” Four grinned widely. Time to have some fun!

Three and Eight stared as Four pushed open the glass door and vanished inside the building, cackling loudly to herself. They looked at each other, unsure of what they were supposed to do when Marie’s angry voice jolted them back into reality.

“Ugh, I knew this would happen. What are you two waiting for? Go after her and make sure she doesn’t hurt herself!”

“Ah, yeah, right.” Three quickly ran to the building with Eight following close behind. Eight was nervous about entering the building. While she had been the first one to volunteer to go back into the Metro to investigate, it was almost as if all her courage had melted away upon seeing Kamabo’s symbol. She took a deep breath to calm herself. I am an Agent. I will not let something like this unnerve me.  

Eight glanced at Three, who had a fierce look in her eyes, and a wild determination on her face that worried Eight. She was aware of Three’s hatred for Kamabo, but she hoped that whatever they saw in there wouldn’t serve to fuel that hatred even more.

She shuddered. Eight didn’t know what was scarier - the thought of seeing Kamabo’s twisted experiments, or the hell Three was about to bring down on every single one.

Chapter Text

Three and Eight sprinted into the building, hoping to catch up to Four before she could hurt herself, or worse, trip any alarms and alert Kamabo to their presence. But knowing them, it was very possible that they had already been spotted and were currently being monitored by hidden cameras. The building, for all its grandiose appearance outside, was relatively plain and unassuming inside. There was only a single hallway, brightly illuminated by ceiling lights which showed no branching paths or corridors. 

The two Agents spotted Four at the very end of the hallway, tapping her foot impatiently as she stared at a closed elevator. “Oh, come on,” she muttered. “Why’s this taking so long?”

“Four!” Three growled as she caught up with her. “What the shell are you doing? You can’t just run in like that! ”

Four rolled her eyes. “It’s fine. Nothing’s happened.” Up until now, the three Agents had never actually undertaken any missions together, at least not in any official capacity. Three and Four had always preferred to work on their own and each of them had their own personal way of handling problems. Four was reckless and foolhardy, but due to her natural agility, dexterity and, in some cases, sheer dumb luck, she would find often herself successful on her missions. Three. on the other hand. was more calculating in her decisions. This was not to say that she wasn’t prone to spontaneous action whenever the moment called for it, but before doing anything she would often have some sort of plan in mind, no matter how simple or rushed it might be. Now that the two were on the same team, it was starting to become apparent that they would need to somehow reconcile these differences if they were going to get anything done. “It certainly took you long enough to catch up.”

“Are you saying it’s my fault?” Three raised her voice and jabbed Four in the shoulder with her finger. “If you hadn’t-”

Eight quickly stepped in between the two and gently pried them apart before they started getting physical. “Please do not fight. We must work together if we are to be successful in this mission. It is our responsibility to complete this task.”

“Well you can tell little-miss-suicidal over there that if she wants to get herself killed so bad, be my guest.”

“Unlike you, ” Four sneered, “I can hold my own regardless of the circumstance. Perhaps you should learn how to adapt to the situation better, hm?”

The two looked a hair’s breadth away from jumping at each other’s throats and Eight knew she had to stop them.

“Four,” she said sternly. “Three is correct. You cannot rush in on your own as you did. There may have been traps lying in wait, or any manner of defenses. If you find yourself trapped or injured, we may struggle to rescue you and doing so may put us in a disadvantageous position. ”

Four crossed her arms and looked away indignantly. “Hmph.”

“Damn right,” Three huffed.

Eight turned her head towards the smug Inkling and frowned. “We are also at fault here, Three. While Four may have been reckless in her actions, it is our responsibility as teammates to guide and assist her whenever such occasions occur.”

“Just ‘cause she lands ass in a bad spot doesn’t mean I have to risk mine to get her out,” Three retorted.

Eight shook her head. “That is not how we should be operating. Members of the Splatoon must work together to compensate for each other’s weaknesses. We must cooperate, or we will fail. Is this clear?”

There was a moment of silence as both of the Inklings looked away, trying to avoid Eight’s gaze. They were both a little surprised as Eight’s sudden leadership role, but even more so that she played the part pretty effectively. 

The two knew she had a point - they had to work together. They were both willing to look past the incident and find a way to come to an agreement, but only if the other party initiated. Out of stubbornness or pride, neither of them wanted to be the one to extend the olive branch. They both shot glances at Eight, hoping she would facilitate these peace talks, but it seemed like the Octoling was waiting for them to solve the problem amongst themselves... 

Four bit her thumb and haltingly started. “I-I… suppose...I can take... some... blame on this. I ap-... apolo-...” She sighed and dropped her arms. “I apologize for my rash behaviour. I realize it may not have been the wisest of decisions, running in as I did. I’ll try not to let it happen again.” She offered a hand in truce.

Three crossed her arms and puffed out her chest. Some blame? To her, Four should have taken all the blame. She wasn’t about to apologize for anything - she hadn’t done anything wrong in the first place! Four was crazy if she thought she was going to do otherwise. She was prepared to let Four stick her hand out until the end of time when she glimpsed Eight glaring pointedly at her. Three’s eye twitched before reaching out and grasping Four’s hand with her own. “...Yeah, I guess I’m sorry too. If shit goes bad I’ll be sure to get your back next time.” She turned to Eight with a resigned look as if saying, Happy?

The Octoling smiled and nodded gratefully. Having resolved the conflict between the two, Eight turned her attention back to the mission. She approached the elevator behind Four and examined it. There was nothing particularly special about it - it looked like a regular elevator. A single button was located beside it and glowed a faint red, having been pressed by Four earlier. Besides that, there was no indication that the elevator was even moving. It made no noise and there was no display showing what floor it was currently on.

“There was nothing else of note when I arrived here,” Four said. “Just this elevator, which, I dare say, might not even be operational in the first place.”

Three glanced around the hallway, trying to look for any other corridors or exits, but found none. “Place looks clean too. A little too clean, if you ask me. No cameras or anything that I can see.” She shook her head and muttered. “I don’t like it.”

Eight tapped her earpiece. “Come in. This is the Infiltration Team. We have entered the building and found nothing of note aside from this elevator. We are currently awaiting its arrival.”

There was faint static on the other side as Marina responded. “Got it… *shssk*... Listen, we’re getting- *sss* lot of… interference on this end… *shhss*... might lose comms… if you go down there…”

In front of them, the elevator door silently opened without so much as a sound or indication of its arrival. “Ugh, making a lady wait like this. Deplorable!” Four was the first to step in the elevator, and she beckoned for the others to join her.

“Understood, Support Team,” Eight replied, walking forward with Three. “We will proceed cautiously and attempt to re-establish contact whenever we can. Infiltration Team out.”

“Well that sucks. Guess we’re on our own for this one.”

“Ah, to be cut off from hearing my Marie’s lovely voice. Alas, we will just have to make sure we get through this quickly, no?”

Three rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

As soon as Three had stepped inside, the door suddenly shut behind her. The Agents tensed up and raised their weapons, waiting for something to happen. Instead, the elevator began to hum and shake gently as it began its descent. “Fuck. Have I mentioned I don’t like this?”

The inside of the elevator was just as plain inside as it was on the outside. The bare, white walls felt like some sort of prison, and the lack of any sort of button inputs inside only served to unnerve the Agents even more.

“Where the shell’s this thing taking us?” Three paced the area, looking for any vent or shaft to escape from. 

“If I had to wager, I’d say it’s taking us to their basement level. As to how deep that is, your guess is as good as mine, I’m afraid.”

After searching for a few seconds and finding nothing, Three attempted to bash the wall with the butt of her gun, hoping it would make some kind of dent. Unfortunately, whatever the walls were made of, it was highly resistant to blunt force.

Four raised her weapon and shot at one of the walls, but to no avail. The ink bounced off harmlessly and dripped to the floor before vanishing completely. “Rats. It looks like we’re trapped.”

Eight remained silent and tapped her earpiece again, trying to reach the Support Team but heard nothing but white noise. They had descended far enough to completely lose signal. “We have lost contact with the others.”

“Great,” Three muttered.

Having no other choice but to wait, the Agents stood nervously, knowing that the doors could open at any time, with any number of things waiting on the other side.

Above ground, the Support Team attempted to reconnect with the Agents. Pearl stood on a table with the radio antenna, holding it high in the air while balancing precariously on one foot. “Anything?”

“Try moving it a little to the right!” Callie called out. The monitors tracking the camera feeds had gone completely dark, and no audio could be picked up whatsoever. Thankfully, they weren’t completely cut off - for some reason the heart rate and health status displays were still operational.

Pearl strained her arms, sweating as she struggled to keep her balance. “How… how about now?”

 “Uh… I think that might’ve made it worse.”

“Pearlie,” Marina called out. “Please get down from there before you get hurt. I told you, the transmitter doesn’t work like that. Holding up the antenna in the air won’t improve the signal. In fact, it might just- wait! I’m picking up changes in the heart sensor.”

The idols turned their heads to the heart monitor and just as Marina had said, the Agents’ heartbeats had spiked up considerably. For what reason, they had no idea, but their health statuses were still in the green, which was a little bit of a relief.

“Ugh!” Callie shook her monitor in frustration. “C’mon, work dang it! Cod, I hope they’re alright.”

Marie sat stiffly, gripping the armrests of her chair until her knuckles turned white. “Please be careful Four…” she whispered under her breath.

…

Three peeked around the corner from behind cover and quickly retreated as shots of ink whizzed by. “Shit! I can’t get a good look!” It was a trap. Of course it was a fucking trap .

The elevators had opened without warning, and while the Agents had readied themselves, even they could only react so fast. The doors had opened up into a long, black, hallway, about five metres wide. At the very end of the hallway there was a gray object emitting a bright red light that moved back and forth in a sweeping motion. While Four and Eight squinted to try and get a better view of what it was, Three understood the situation immediately and screamed as the laser honed in on their bodies.

“IT’S A TURRET, TAKE COVER!” No sooner than she had yelled this, the automated turret beeped loudly and began firing bright teal ink at the Agents at an extremely rapid pace. To their great fortune, directly outside the elevator were two rounded out alcoves on either side of the hallway that provided cover from the fire. Three and Four immediately split up and sprinted into safety while Eight, who realized she wouldn’t be able to reach the nooks in time, shot at the ground and morphed into her octopus form, melting into the pink puddle as several turret shots zoomed by overhead. Luckily for her, the dark material lining the hallway did not resist the ink, like the ones in the elevator had.

The turret continued to fire in a sweeping motion, firing an unbelievable amount of ammunition in an unending torrent of blue-green liquid. The roar of the machine-gun fire echoed throughout the hallway, amplifying the noise a hundredfold. After what seemed like an eternity, the turret ceased its assault, unable to locate any valid targets. The area had gone quiet, save for the heavy breathing of the Agents in hiding.

“It seems they were expecting us after all,” Four chuckled. “Not the most welcoming of receptions, I have to say.”

“Give me a minute. I’ll think of something.” Three shook the stray ink off her cloak as she considered their options. Retreat wasn’t feasible; the elevator had shut its doors and even assuming that it hadn’t already left, it would be virtually impossible for someone to hit the button and get back into cover before the turret could splat them. Fighting back wasn’t an option either. By her rough estimate, she determined that the turret was just out of their range of fire and running out to get closer would have been akin to suicide. In fact, any action that involved them peeking out for more than a few seconds wasn’t going to work. They were pinned.

“I fear,” Eight’s muffled voice spoke from the puddle, “that I will not be able to emerge without exposing myself to enemy fire.”

“Don’t worry, darling. I’ll save you,” Four responded. She attempted to ink a path from Eight towards herself, but the motion of her shots drew the attention of the turret, who immediately fired at the fresh ink trail and covered it with its own. Eight yelped as she narrowly avoided being hit by stray fire and while she hadn’t been harmed, her puddle was now considerably smaller.

“O-Oh dear. My apologies, Eight.” Four called out nervously. “Are you alright?”

After a brief pause, Eight answered. “I am unharmed. But I do not recommend we try that strategy again. Do you have any ideas, Three?” While Eight would have been more than happy to contribute to the situation, the simple fact of the matter was that she couldn’t see anything. As it was, the only thing she could look at was the ceiling.

“I’m thinkin’, I’m thinkin’…” Three again peeked out from behind cover, only to be met with another storm of bullets a few seconds later. “Shit!” It was hopeless. The turret reacted too quickly to do anything more than exit cover for a few seconds, and with Eight stuck in her puddle, they were also effectively an Agent down.

“Perhaps I should take a look. There might be something I can spot that you’ve missed.” Four got on her knees and very slowly poked her head out, hoping that by somehow keeping close to the ground, the turret would somehow fail to see her. Four braced herself to jump back at the slightest provocation but it seemed that turret hadn’t fired. Four, five, whole seconds had passed and nothing had happened. “Aha! I knew my plan would work. It seems that this turret isn’t as clever as it- BFOH!”

Four quickly rolled back as she was blasted directly on the face with a particularly large ink glob. She clutched her head in pain and sputtered, “Ew, ew, ew, ew! It’s in my moooouuth!  Oh my cod, it’s in my mouth! This is so gross!!!”

“Are you alright Four?!” Eight blinked in a panic, unable to do anything more than stare up at the roof.

“Ughhhh!! NOT. COOL!” After a few seconds of rolling on the floor in pain, Four spat out the slime from her mouth and wiped the remaining ink off her tentacles. She bared her fangs and growled. “I swear, if I get my tentacles on that stupid piece of trash I’m gonna-” She stopped herself and took a deep breath to calm down. “Ahem, apologies. I let my emotions get the better of me. What I meant to say was, I am going to relish getting my hands on that machine and laugh as I utterly demolish it and tear it apart piece by piece .”

Looks like we don’t have much luck over there either , Three thought. As hilarious it was to see getting Four shot in the face like that, a small part of her hoped that the plan would work. It seemed that even keeping low to the ground and making slow movements couldn’t fool the turret’s tracking mechanism. But despite this, she did notice one important thing - for some reason it had taken a little longer for the turret to lock on and start shooting at Four. Was it really because Four had slowed her movements down? Or was it something else entirely? A thought started creeping into Three’s head. Maybe it’s not that the turret can’t see us if we’re moving real slow. Maybe it’s the opposite!

Three shared her idea with the rest of the team. It was just a theory, a shot in the dark, but they had no other option. It was do or die at this point. She quickly formulated a plan and instructed the others what to do. “We gotta do this right,” Three explained. “If any of us mess up, we’re all as good dead.” Four was doubtful if it would actually work, but seeing as they had no other option, she relented.

“We all ready?”

 Eight replied in the affirmative as Four sighed and raised her weapon, nodding. “I suppose.”

Three waited. She was waiting for the right timing. Not yet. Not yet. NOW! “MOVE!” Three stepped out from behind cover and fired at the turret. As expected, the turret beeped loudly and immediately turned to fire at her. However, as she had predicted it wasn’t able to swivel to her position fast enough. Three had made her move only once the turret’s laser was pointing on Four’s side of the hallway - directly opposite from her position. It took a few more seconds for it to fully lock on her position, by which point she had already retreated into cover. Right as she did so, Four appeared from her side of the corridor and began shooting at the turret herself. Again, the turret started to rotate Four’s position, but with a noticeable delay.

Three grinned. Just as she had thought, it seemed that while the turret could detect any sort of movement, because the corridor was so wide, it wasn’t able to hone in on their locations in time. By exploiting this vulnerability, they could fire at it while safely avoiding any sort of damage. They had solved the problem of being unable to fight back, but even if they could return fire at the turret, another problem reared its head - they were still just out of range. Their Hero Shots were designed for short to medium ranged combat and the turret practically invincible at that distance, Inevitably one of them would make a mistake, or fail to get back into cover in time and would end up splatted. No matter how hard they tried, their shots wouldn’t reach. 

But they weren’t trying to shoot the turret.

As Three and Four alternated their windows of attack, Eight was not idle. The goal of the suppressing fire was not to damage the turret - rather, it was to slowly ink a path for the Octoling to advance while remaining undetected. The turret, which had been prioritizing in neutralizing threats posing the greatest danger - that is to say, Three and Four, - failed to notice Eight slowly sneaking inching her way forward. Had this been an ordinary Octarian soldier, they would have realized what was going on immediately. The A.I., however, did not think so critically.

While Eight couldn’t see how close she was to the turret, she knew she had other ways to judge her proximity to it. The sound of the machine-gun shots were growing louder, and she could feel the ground shaking more and more as she closed the distance. She flinched as stray drops of enemy ink would splatter her body as she got closer. Just a little more…

“My ink is getting low!” Four yelled, as she ducked behind cover once again.

Three swore under her breath and launched another barrage of ink down the hallway. “Keep shooting! If we stop now, Eight’s done for!” She knew she couldn’t keep this up for much longer. The second they ran out of ammo, the turret would switch targeting priorities - in this case, to the vulnerable Eight. The Ink tank on Three’s back was getting dangerously light, and from what she could see, Eight still wasn’t close enough to the turret. As Three held down the trigger, her gun made clicked loudly, and her blood ran cold. “I’m out!” She screamed.

Four quickly moved out of cover as Three retreated. She continued firing at the turret, until she too, ran out of ink. “I’m out too!”

Three’s eyes widened in panic. Nononono ! Eight still hadn’t reached the turret. She could easily replenish her tank in a few seconds but by then it would be too late. In just a moment, the turret would turn its attention on the Octoling and fire. At that close of a range, Eight wouldn’t even have a chance to scream before being shredded. 

Without thinking, Three leaped out of cover, yelling at the top of her lungs and waving her arms in the air, desperate to draw the turret’s attention. Even if it fired its entire salvo at her, if she could buy Eight even just a little more time, it would have been worth it. Three grit her teeth and shut her eyes as she prepared herself for the inevitable end. Instead, it never came.

Like a dolphin gracefully leaping from the water, Eight sprung up from the ground, clutching her Octoshot in her hands. Despite being in the turret’s direct line of fire. Eight’s mind had never been clearer. Her senses were sharp, her attention attuned and focused solely on the enemy in front of her. In a fraction of a second Eight’s irises shrunk to the size of a needle as she scanned the turret, detecting critical weak points in its structure. Every bolt, every screw, and every cog were made bare in her mind’s eye. The intricacies and exact mechanisms of its functions became clear to her and she knew exactly where to strike.

Without even pausing to take breath Eight took aim with her weapon and unloaded at the turret, directing each shot deliberately to clog and obstruct its complex internal machinery with her thick, pink ink. The turret locked onto Eight and beeped twice before firing. However, instead of unloading its salvo, the viscous slime jammed the gears of the turret and obstructed its firing mechanism. A large spark erupted from the rear of the machine and smoke began to billow out from the engine. One spark turned into many, as the turret spasmed with a jittery, stuttering movement before finally shutting down with a low, dying beep.

Eight landed with a satisfied smirk and blew the tentacles away from her face. “Objective neutralized.”

Three exhaled a sigh of relief and let her arms hang loose. 

“Excellently done, dear!” Four cheered, stepping into the open. “You really showed that thing what-for. Though I will admit, I’m a little envious that I couldn’t have landed the killing blow myself.” She ran over to where Eight standing and gave her a hearty pat on the back before clearing her throat. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Four took a deep breath and suddenly started unloading her gun at the mangled turret, a look of absolute rage blazing in her eyes. “HOW’D YOU LIKE THAT YOU STUPID HUNK OF JUNK?! DO YOU KNOW HOW DISGUSTING SLIME TASTES? DO YOU? WEEELL, WHY DON’T YOU HAVE A TASTE OF THIS?!”

Eight backed away slowly from the slightly deranged Inkling and sauntered over to Three, smiling widely. “The way is clear, Three. And it was all thanks to your plan. Quite ingenious, I would have never thought of it myself.”

Three shrugged nonchalantly and rubbed the back of her head. “No biggie.” She looked Eight up and down. Say, you’re uh… not hurt are you? You got pretty close to becoming shredded tuna just then.”

Eight nodded. “Thank you for your concern, but I am fine. I disabled the turret before it could fire a single shot.”

“Yeah, that was pretty cod-damn impressive. How’d you know where to shoot it?”

“Oh!” Eight clasped her hands excitedly. “Believe it or not, I have seen that design before - it was Octarian made, you see, and I had a basic understanding of its operation. While I was not intimately aware with the specific engineering behind it, I could piece together how it operated based on pre-existing knowledge of our other weapons. You see, Octarian weaponry are built very similarly to one another. They generally rely on ink fed through several microscopic tubings coated with a high-energy liquidizing agent and fed through a main hyper-coil array, the function of which is to-”

“Alright, I get it, I get it,” Three interrupted before Eight could get started getting into one of her rants. “Guess we’re lucky you’ve seen it before then.” She paused. “...You know, for someone who’s supposed to have lost her memory, you remember an awful lot of stuff about Octarian tech.”

“It is rather curious. I wonder why that is,” Eight pondered. “The knowledge was instructed repeatedly in the Academy. A strong understanding of the weapons we used in combat was an asset on the battlefield. For example, if we encounter unexpected problems like weapon jams we could remedy the situation immediately. Hours of rote memorization must have drilled the information directly into my subconscious.”

“Huh. I can’t say I’m jealous of what you went through,” Three said, patting Eight on the shoulder. “But, hey, at least we know you haven’t forgotten everything . That’s a good start, right? Means the rest of your memories are still up there somewhere. We just gotta fish ‘em out.”

Eight smiled faintly. “I share in your optimism.”

“Good to hear. Now why don’t we go see what was behind that door?”

The pair made their way to the large steel door at the end of the hallway. As they walked by, Three yanked Four - who was now stomping on the turret with her combat boots - by the arm and dragged her along.

“Wha- Hey! I wasn’t finished yet!”

“If you’re done raging against the machine over there, we have a job to do.” Three pushed Four away as the trio stood in front of the entrance. “Any ideas on what’s behind this? My guess is 50 more of those turrets pointing right at us.”

Four tapped her chin. “Hm, I doubt Kamabo would try the same thing twice. I would wager there’s some sort of trap inside - perhaps a hatch that drops us directly into a shark tank.”

“Or some sort of laser grid system,” Eight suggested, recalling the time she had to escape the Metro.

“What about a tank filled with sharks that shoots lasers from their eyes?” Four asked jokingly. “That would be quite a sight.”

“If Kamabo somehow managed to make sharks that shoot lasers from their eyes,” Three grumbled as she walked forward and pushed the door open, “I officially quit.”

The doors opened inwards with a loud groan as the Agents braced themselves, preparing to move at a moment’s notice. Instead of turrets or laser sharks, however, they were greeted by an entirely different sight.

“It’s the laboratory,” Eight whispered. The room was breathtakingly spacious - large enough to house all manner of test equipment and computer apparatuses. There wasn’t much lighting present - in contrast to the blinding interior of the entrance floor, the laboratory was dimly lit. Even though there were a few fluorescent tube lights scattered throughout the room, they were doing a poor job of illuminating anything but the area directly below them. It looked like the majority of the light was instead coming from the computer monitors dotting the area. Quiet beeps sounded from these monitors, and a steady hum permeated the atmosphere of the room.

Three’s eyes darted around the room. “Fuck… I thought I’d already dealt with all their labs but it looks like there’s more of them. Alright, everyone spread out and keep your eyes peeled for anything crazy. We’re shutting this place down, but I wanna make sure they aren’t holding anyone captive here before we do.” She glared at Four. “And try not to go tripping any alarms this time.”

Four rolled her eyes and brushed off the pointed jab. “Hmph. Do you really think I’d do that twice? What do you take me for?”

Three opened her mouth to speak but was quickly interrupted by Four.

“Don’t answer that.” Four excitedly trotted off to the right, curiously examining the different monitors and experiments on the tables. “Don’t worry,” she called out before wandering further down the room and disappearing around a turn. “If I find anything I’ll be sure to let you two know.”

Three sighed and turned to Eight. “Same goes for you too. I didn’t catch any cameras or security in this place but you can bet Kamabo’s just waiting for us to drop our guards. Don’t touch anything and make sure to radio in if you see anything important.”

“Of course.” Eight wasn’t exactly sure what the word ‘important’ entailed. Technically speaking, any data they’d find here would be important, given that this was a highly secret laboratory and it was unlikely for them to get access to this kind of information again. The Support Team hadn’t explicitly told them what to do if they managed to gain access to the lab. They weren’t given any sort of device to download and transmit any data they came across, so the best she could do was record as much as she could with her camera. It was a little crude, but it was all she had.

“Cool. I’m gonna check out what’s over there,” Three said, pointing to an area containing a conspicuous amount of computer monitors. “Catch you in a bit.”

Eight nodded, before heading off into a separate direction. She knew the room was large, but she was surprised to see it was even bigger than she had initially thought. It seemed that a lot of the computer equipment had been blocking the view for most of the area. As she wandered around, she passed by curious oddities such as beakers containing a strange pink liquid that boiled without any external heat source, and a jar that seemed to contain a pickled fishing hook. She made sure to document these findings thoroughly, but she was unsure what sort of purpose they served. When she would try to read the nearby monitors to figure out what they were, she found the text nigh incomprehensible.

After minutes of ambling around and carefully recording everything she saw, Eight found herself walking by a small room containing a small desk and some bookshelves, with many of the books messily scattered about. Some were stacked haphazardly on each other while some had been left open to random pages. It seemed that whoever had been reading these was in a hurry. She stepped inside and curious to see what kinds of topics they covered, Eight bent down and picked one of the books up at random and examined the cover.

A Treatise on the Biologic Structure of a Species . Eight frowned. Strange , she thought, putting the book back down. Eight peered at another book, which was open to a diagram of a DNA helix with various arrows pointing at the various components of the structure. A small caption underneath read, By exposing the cell to a hypervertid plasmoid-activating compound, it is possible to unwind the helical structure and force it to hybridize with foreign bodies, even including non-organic materials. While purely theoretical, the Slimemann hypothesis (refer to Chapter 3) argues the possibility of…

Eight closed the book and quickly skimmed the other titles. Genetic Anomalies and Biomarkers. Salmonid Physiology: A Comprehensive Study. The Biochemical Mechanisms Behind The Brain. She stepped outside of the room, concern mounting in her mind. Kamabo seemed to have an interest in biological testing, but for what purpose? Three had mentioned seeing live subjects being experimented on before, and it was more than likely they were tested on for this purpose. Eight imagined the helpless Inklings and Octolings subjected to all manner of horrible tests and clenched her fists. She was beginning to understand the anger Three had felt towards Kamabo and her desire for their total destruction.

The earpiece in Eight’s ear crackled as Three re-established radio contact. “Yo. This is Three. I’m pretty much done here, any of you find anything?”

“I was unable to find anything of important consequence,” Eight replied, touching her earpiece. “But I have taken video recordings of as much as I could.”

“There wasn’t much over here either, I’m afraid. Other than a few funhouse-esque science experiments,” Four said. “I’m starting to wonder if this place really even is a- WAH!” Four shrieked as her line suddenly cut off.

“Four!” Three and Eight yelled in unison.

“What the fuck happened?! Pick up!”

There was a short silence before Four’s voice returned. “Ah, I apologize for that - I ran into a little bit of a fright over here. I’m perfectly fine but I think you two should get over here. Right now.”

Despite the size and labyrinthine nature of the laboratory, it didn’t take long for Eight to retrace her steps and end up back at the entrance. From there she could easily follow the path Four had taken. As she sprinted on she noticed a spray of pink ink shooting up into the roof some distance away, no doubt acting as some sort of crude signal flare. When Eight arrived, she saw that Three was already there. Both of the Inklings were standing in front of a giant, cylindrical tank, connected with a vast array of tubing and filled with a brightly glowing, green liquid. They stood, frozen in shock, staring at it as if they had seen a ghost.

“I am here,” Eight panted, walking towards the two. “I apologize for taking so long. I had wandered away further than I realized. Are you alright, Four? What is…” 

Eight’s voice trailed off as she approached the tank. She hadn’t noticed it before, but something was floating inside of it - it almost looked like a body. As her eyes focused against the bright backlight, the figure inside turned, its full profile displaying itself to all of the three present. Eight froze. She felt her stomach twist into a knot and her breath caught in her throat. She placed a shaky hand on the glass, in horror of what she was seeing. Everything had gone silent until Three whispered in a deadly quiet voice.

“What the fuck… it’s you, Eight...”

The Octoling in the tank had its eyes closed, arms wrapped around itself in a fetal position as it floated gently in the fluid. One of its eyelids twitched, as if reacting to some stimuli, and it batted as its face unconsciously before returning to its idle position. Eight simply stared, her mind unable to comprehend what she was seeing. The same pink-coloured tentacles, the same skin complexion, and even similar facial structures. For all intents are purposes, the body in the tank was a near-perfect clone of Agent Eight. That is, except for one major difference.

“But it’s a guy!” Four blurted out. “I-It’s probably just another one of Kamabo’s captives.”

“Look at it!” Three snapped. “It looks just like her, for cod’s sake! What the fuck is going on?!”

Eight’s hand grew cold against the surface of the tank. She was terrified of what she saw, yet oddly fascinated at the same time. Was this really just another random Octoling that Kamabo had abducted and were experimenting on? It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. After all, Eight herself was but one of many test subjects. But the fact that he looked so much like her made her head ache. She closed her eyes and tried to recall if she had seen someone like him before, but try as she might, she could not remember anything.

Determined to find out the truth behind the matter, Eight took a step back and reached into her pocket, pulling out of the Mem Cakes Padre had given her. This one was in the shape of an Octoling, fittingly enough. She popped it into her mouth and swallowed, the effects manifesting themselves not even a second later.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Out of the corner of her eye, Three had glimpsed Eight throw something into her mouth, and now the Octoling had a blank, glazed look in her eyes. “What was that? What did you just eat?”

“Some sort of memory-enhancing candy,” Four responded. “The well-mannered isopod from the train gave it to her. It’s a little strange, the idea of a candy somehow being able to jog one’s memories, but I suppose it’s no less strange than anything we’ve seen here.”

“Strange?” Three blurted out, pointing at Eight. “Look at her! It looks like she’s tripping out or something. Whatever she just ate can’t be good for her.” Three waved her hand in front of the unresponsive Octoling. “Yo. Earth to Eight?”

Eight blinked slowly in response and looked at Three. While their eyes had technically met, it looked like Eight was having a lot of trouble focusing properly. “Ah… yes, Three...?” Like before, a light fog descended into her mind, and with it memories of days long past. She still couldn’t quite remember who the Octoling in the tank was, but she knows she had seen him before. He was someone important.

Three swore to herself. “Alright, that’s it, give me those drugs you just took. You ain’t using them anymore.”

Eight frowned, her mind slowly returning to reality as the effects began to wear off. “No. I-I am remembering… this Octoling… we must set him free.”

“And we’re gonna do that. But not until you give me those drugs.”

“They are not drugs!” Eight protested, placing a hand in her pocket protectively. “They are helping me recover my lost memories.”

“Maybe they are,” Three scowled, stepping forward. “But until we get these looked at by the others, I’m taking them.”

“B-But-”

“Eight.” Three held out her hand. “Give them to me. Please.”

Three looked anxious, and even a little desperate, almost as if she’d been in this kind of position before. Eight stopped and hung her head, pulling the plastic baggie out of her pocket and placing it in Three’s open hand. “Very well. But once the others can confirm that they are safe, you must give them back.”

“Promise,” Three said, pocketing the baggie. “Now. Let’s figure out how to get this thing open.”

“I don’t suppose thwacking it with something hard is an option?” Four asked.

“Probably not a good idea. Could kill him for all we know.”

“Why do we not try that?” Eight pointed to the monitor attached to the tank. It seemed to be monitoring the Octoling specimen’s status, among other things. “It may contain a way to unlock the capsule safely.”

Three walked over to the monitor and leaned in, squinting. After a short while, she shook her head. “It’s in Octarian. I have no idea what it says. Give it a shot Eight, you might be able to do something.”

Eight approached the console and read the text presented. While there were some commands available, like controlling the ambient temperature of the tank’s solution, it looked like most of the advanced controls required a password. Eight relayed this to the other two and stated that there wasn’t much she could do from the current screen.

“An access code, hm? Try ‘kamabo’,” Four suggested.

BEEP. The machine errored as Eight tried using the word. “It appears that was incorrect.”

“Okay, try ‘kamabo1’.”

BEEP. Eight shook her head.

“Okay, now try ‘kamabo’ again but this time with an uppercase-”

“Cod, we’ll be here all day if we do it like this!” Three snapped. “The password’s gotta be written down around here somewhere.” She looked around and her eyes honed in on a conspicuous piece of text written at the top of the containment tank. “Hey, Eight, what that say right there?” 

Eight glanced to where Three was pointing at and leaned in to read it. “It appears to be the subject’s identification number.” Her voice trembled as she spoke the numbers aloud. “10009.”

“Betcha anything that’s the password,” Three said confidently. It made sense, given that Kamabo had hundreds, if not thousands of different passwords used to access their machines. It would have been difficult for their scientists to remember every single one, so maybe they got lazy and just put the access codes in plain sight to make things easier.

“Hmph.” Four crossed her arms. “I doubt it would be that simple.”

“And you figured ‘kamabo1’ would work instead?”

“If we’d tried with the uppercase ‘K’, maybe,” she muttered.

Eight quickly typed in Three’s suggestion and hit enter. This time the computer didn’t immediately beep, instead displaying an animated hourglass icon, indicating that it was loading. “There is no error message. The password must have been correct.”

“HA! Get fucked, Four.” Three smirked. “It’s your first time down here, so maybe you don’t know Kamabo like I do, but they’re not-”

Instead of granting access to the console, however, a single message box appeared on the screen as a bright red alarm light whirred to life above the tank. From hidden speakers scattered throughout the lab, a deafening siren began to play. Eight read the message and blinked. “The message states that we have exceeded the number of login attempts and now the facility is undergoing a self-destruct sequence. The password was incorrect after all.”

“...”

There was an awkward silence among the group as the alarm continued to blare throughout the lab

Four grinned widely and opened her mouth to gloat. “Ha-HA! See? I knew- BLEGH!!” Her gloating was cut short as Three shot her directly in the face with her Hero Shot, knocking her down on the ground as she grasped at her face. “GAAAH!! It’s in my mouth!!!”

Three, who immediately started bashing on the glass with her gun, called out to Eight. “Help me get this open!”

“Breaking open the seal like that may harm the Octoling inside,” Eight objected. “I do not think we should-”

“It won’t matter if this whole place comes crashing down!” Three grunted in exertion as she once again swung at the glass, which seemed to be taking no damage. “Are you gonna help me or what?!”

The room was now beginning to shake, with loose rubble from the ceiling raining down on the Agents. They had to move. Eight quickly scanned around to look for something - anything - that could help. The attached computer was of no use anymore - it seemed to be completely unresponsive at this point. She rushed forward and swung at the tank with her own gun, which also bounced off it harmlessly. There was no use - the glass was too tough. She pounded against the surface with her fist, desperately wishing for a way to get the Octoling out.

Four, who had recovered, swore to herself and got up to help. “NOT cool! If you do that again, I swear by cod, I’m going to like, totally kill you! ...What are you two doing?”

Three screamed as she tried kicking the tube with the heel of her foot. “Why! Won’t! It! Fucking! Break!”

“Well, duh, it won’t break like that!” Four picked up her Hero Shot and brought the scope close to her face. Instead of firing at the glass, however, she aimed upwards at the various tubes hooked up to the tank and pulled the trigger. With a loud hiss and a boom, the pipes came disconnected from the body, and the bright, green fluid began inside the tank came gushing out. The Octoling inside slowly sank to the bottom as all the liquid spilled out.

“What are you?!-”

“HERE WE GO!!”

Eight yelped and stumbled back as Four grabbed the barrel of her gun with both hands and swung at the glass like a bat. Instead of the weapon bouncing off as before, the glass shattered with a crash, the shards raining down on the Octoling inside who winced unconsciously. 

Three gawked as Four puffed her chest out with a self-satisfied grin. “THAT’S how you break it open.”

Eight was similarly shocked. “B-But the glass was impenetrable. How were you able to break it so easily?”

Four pointed to the tubings she had shot out, which were now dangling limply from the roof. “Didn’t you notice? They were pumping that green goo into that thing, which would make it super hard to crack. ‘Cuz you know of, like, pressure and stuff?”

“Brilliant!” Eight stepped forward and clasped Four’s hands, a shining glint in her eye. “I would have never thought of that. You are quite clever, Four. Certainly not as senseless as Three had led me to believe.”

Four flushed at the unexpected praise and looked away, chuckling and clearing her throat. “Ohohoho~ Naturally, my dear! I’m the very epitome of cleverness. My brilliance knows no bounds. Put it quite simply I am- wait hold on what was that about Three?”

“If you two ladies are done over there,” Three growled as she hoisted the Octoling onto her shoulder. “This whole place is about to explode, and I’d really appreciate some help with this guy.”

“Ah, yes, of course!” Eight moved to assist Three, bearing some of the weight on her shoulder. “But how do we leave this place? I do not think the elevator will be operational.”

“Over there,” Four pointed. “I passed by some stairs leading back up during my exploration. It might be some sort of emergency exit.”

“Then let’s move,” Three ordered. “Four, you take the lead.”

Together the three Agents made their way to the stairs as the building collapsed around them. As they ascended the stairs, the difficult footing, coupled with the added weight of the Octoling and the shaking of the ground made it extremely difficult for Three and Eight to keep going. Fuck. Fuck. Why is this guy so heavy?!  

The stairs seemed to stretch on forever. How far underground were they? The elevator ride had given no indication as to how far down it had taken them. As far as they knew they could have been miles from the surface. It had reached the point that even Three and Eight, who kept themselves in top physical condition, were finding it difficult to keep going.

Four, who had ran much farther ahead yelled down to them. “We’re almost there! I think I can see the exit, just a little more!”

Three grit her teeth as sweat ran down her face. She wasn’t going to die here - not in some cod-forsaken Kamabo laboratory. As Four had said, the exit had appeared into view. It was only a short distance away but from Three’s perspective it may as well have been miles away. Four ran outside and turned to face the two, beckoning to them in a panic.

Behind them, the roof was collapsing as large pieces of concrete and rebar fell and shattered the stairs where they landed. The destruction was catching up to them, and fast. If they didn’t move faster, they would be overwhelmed.

Just a few… more... steps…   Eight was panting heavily, exhaustion and fatigue coursing through her limbs. They were almost there. The exit was right there. Four pointed upwards and screamed at warning at Eight, something that she wasn’t able to catch.

Like an electric shock running through her body, Eight jolted and cried in pain as a loose piece of rubble fell and struck her directly on the head.

It was a mild blow - the rock that had come loose was a smaller size than her fist. It was unlikely to cause any minor injuries, much less a concussion, but to the already tired and battered Eight, something as light as this was enough to knock her to the ground. The loss of support caused the male Octoling to sag on Eight’s side as Three dropped him with a surprised gasp.

“Gkhh…” Eight was desperately trying to get up, pushing her arms against the ground to prop herself up, but to no avail. The adrenaline that had powered her up countless flights of stairs had run out. Right now her muscles were screaming at her, and her lungs were burning with pain. It hurts.

Eight winced as she felt herself being lifted up by the collar as a strained grunt sounded beside her. Three…? Was the Inkling coming to her rescue once again? Eight tried to shake her head. There was no way in the world Three could lift both her and the other Octoling, and with all the equipment Eight was carrying, trying to help her was tantamount to suicide.

“Please,” Eight whispered. “Just go.” Eight closed her eyes and let her arms go limp, accepting her fate. The crash of the building behind them was getting closer, and the dust was already filling her lungs. I am sorry .

“Are you… fucking… KIDDING ME?!” Three roared.

“Eh?” Eight’s eyes shot open as she suddenly felt herself being flung forward with a force strong enough to rival a superjump. She accelerated rapidly towards the exit and locked eyes with Four, sharing the same faces of stunned surprise a fraction of a second before the two collided. 

“OW!” The pair were launched from the doorway, rolling on the platform, their limbs entangled with one another.

Behind them, Three barged from the stairs, carrying the other Octoling on her back as the opening behind her caved in on itself with a loud and final crash. Eight rubbed her head in pain and tried to sit up as Four groaned on the floor. “Owww… Next time you could warn me if you’re going to throw her like that...”

Eight gasped. “Look!” The Kamabo building was now flickering with the same light when it had first appeared before the team. It wavered in and out of focus, like a mirage in the desert, before it slowly faded away and vanished in front of their very eyes. In its place, was an empty spot - almost as if it hadn’t existed in the first place.

There was a loud thud as Three collapsed on the ground, dropping the Octoling beside her. She moaned in pain as she landed face first on the cold, hard metal of the platform. “...ugggghhh...”

Eight stumbled over and rolled the Inkling on her back, inspecting her for any visible signs of damage. “A-Are you alright, Three? Are you injured?” She brushed the dirt off of Three’s face and stared at her with concern.

Three grumbled and turned away from Eight. “I’m fine. Go check on that guy over there, make sure he’s not dead or somethin’.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Eight moved to inspect the male Octoling in the same way. The fact that he wasn’t wearing any clothes made it much easier for her to look for any visible injuries. Thankfully, he was still breathing, and other than a few cuts and bruises, she couldn’t find anything wrong with him. Now that she was face to face with him like this, she was able to study his facial features more thoroughly. Everything from his nose to the shape of his cheekbones was uncannily similar to hers. Who are you? Running a finger through his face, she touched the single tentacle on his head. She sighed and pulled away from the Octoling. Soon. I will remember who you are.

“He is fine,” Eight stated, standing up. “However, we should still take him to get medical treatment at the Outpost as soon as possible. He may be injured internally, but there is no way for me to be certain.”

“Fine,” Three muttered, her face pressed against the ground. “But I seriously don’t think I can carry him anymore. Four, you take over.”

Four gawked at the suggestion. “A-Are you suggesting that a lady like myself stoop to performing manual labour like hoisting another person on my back? He’s not even wearing any clothes? Preposterous! Outrageous!”

“Then let’s just all stay here and die. I don’t even care anymore, I can’t feel my legs anyway.”

“Let me assist you, Three.” Eight grunted as she shakily attempted to lift the limp Agent off the floor. “We cannot die here. The train to the surface is only a short distance away.”

Three slowly pushed herself off the floor, leaning heavily on Eight. “Gh… Shit. Sorry, Eight. I know you’re probably not in the best of shape right now either.”

“Please do not apologize. You saved my life once again. This is the least I can do.”

Sweat trickled down Three’s forehead and she bit her lip as she made slow, agonizing steps back towards the train. “Alright, but let’s take it slow… fuck, ow!”

The two slowly hobbled their way to the exit as Four stared down at the naked body laying on the ground beside her. She briefly considered just dragging him back to the train but decided that would probably end up causing even more injuries. She shuddered and with a hesitant motion, grabbed him by the arms and slung him on her back.

When the Agents were in sight range of the train, Eight waved her arm to get the attention of C.Q. and Padre who were standing outside the door. Upon seeing them in their miserable state, Padre rushed over and picked up the very reluctant Three up in his many arms before carrying her back to the train and resting her in one of the seats. “I don’t know what manner of events you went through when you were gone, but we must get you back above ground as soon as possible.”

“Indeed,” C.Q. agreed, entering the conductor’s cabin. “We shall leave at once.”

“A-Ah, wait for me!” Four stumbled onto the train carrying the Octoling on her back before setting him down on the seat across from Three. She shuddered and wiped green slime off the back of her jacket. “He was still moist from the tank.”

Thankfully, the train ride back to the central station went smoothly and they managed to exit the Metro without any difficulties. The problem came as they emerged blinking from the Inkopolis Square station. Their tattered clothes and worn conditions were already suspicious enough - it was quite another thing to sneak a naked Octoling through the streets without anybody noticing. Ultimately they decided to wrap him in Three’s cloak and, barring a few curious glances, made it back to the Outpost entrance without incident.

As soon as they emerged from the grate in front of the Cabin, all three of the Agents fell on the grass in fatigue. It seemed that the Support Team hadn’t yet seen or heard their return, seeing as they failed to react to their entrance. Callie was standing on a table, balancing on one foot and holding two large antennas in her hands and one in her mouth in a desperate and comical attempt to regain signal.

“Higher, Callie! REACH, GIRL!!!” Pearl yelled.

“Hnng--... mnffff...!!!” 

Marie stared at the display with a look of resignation, rubbing the bridge of her nose and groaning. “This is hopeless. We’ve been at this for twenty minutes now. Where could they have-” As she raised her head and idly glanced at the entrance, she noticed several collapsed bodies on the ground. She gasped in surprise and quickly roused the attention of the others. “They’re back!”

The other members of the Support Team immediately swiveled their heads to where Marie was pointing. Callie’s eyes widened as the sudden surprise caused her to lose her balance and drop everything with a loud crash. “WAAH!!”

Marina, Pearl, and Marie ran over to assist the Agents as Cuttlefish entered the Cabin to fetch medical supplies.

“Oh my gosh, are you all okay?” Marina knelt by Eight and propped her head up with one arm. “Your clothes are all torn up. What happened?”

Eight smiled faintly and closed her eyes. “We made contact with the enemy.”

Pearl attempted to lift the face-down Three off the ground, yanking her by the collar and groaning in exertion but failing to move the exhausted Inkling. “...C’mon, at least roll over, you’re literally just breathing in dirt right now.”

Three simply grunted in response.

Four, who was the first to recover, slowly stood up and inspected her jacket. “Ugh. Absolutely horrid business, what we just went through. I certainly hope my clothes didn’t tear. Do you know how long it takes me to-”

“Four!” Marie suddenly collided with the startled Inkling and hugged her tightly. “I’m glad you’re safe. When the radio died, we also lost all visual contact. We had no idea what was happening down there.” 

“We tried to re-establish radio communication on the journey back, but we were unable to do so,” Eight explained. “Even now, our radios do not appear to be operational.”

“That’s odd.” Marina picked up Eight’s radio and examined it. “The power’s still on, so it isn’t a battery issue. Maybe something went wrong with the transmission chip. I’ll look into this later. For now, we need to take care of you.”

As Marie continued to embrace Four, a strange odour wafted into her nose, causing her to frown. “What’s that smell?”

Four looked away innocently and shrugged. “Erm, I’m not quite sure. I, uhm, believe it’s supposed to be some sort of…”

“...birthing fluid,” she muttered under her breath.

Marie stiffened. She slowly pushed Four away and took a step back, examining her clothes. Her kimono, which was one of her favourite outfits, was now covered in a layer of a slightly translucent green slime. “...Oh. That’s nice. Good to know. Always wanted to be covered in birthing fluid.” Her lips curled into a tight smile. “Well, if you need me I’ll be over there burning this in a fire.”

By this point Pearl had given up trying to move Three and left her to her dirt-breathing fate. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a fourth person among the group - a male Octoling wrapped up in Three’s cloak. “What the... who the shell is that? Woah! Hold up, he looks just like Eight! That’s super freaky.”

The three Agents looked at each other nervously. How were they going to explain this? Even they didn’t know what to think.

Four cleared her throat and gestured to the group.

“I think we all need to have a talk.”

Chapter Text

“...And that about sums up the situation.’ Four concluded as she slumped down onto a neon green bean bag chair. Recounting what had happened in the Metro was exhausting, especially since she hadn’t had a chance to rest yet. She would have preferred to save it for tomorrow but the others insisted that she tell them right away. Four let her head fall back and sighed loudly as the listeners around her erupted into chatter about what the Agents’ findings could imply. She would have loved it if Three and Eight could contribute to the experience but as it was, they were off tending to their wounds.

In the corner of the room Eight was on Three’s bedside, applying a slimy green seaweed gauze around her head. Apparently the mucous-like compound had anti-inflammatory properties that sounded perfect for the situation. When the Captain handed her the first aid kid, she made sure to read the attached instructions on how to properly use them. The directions had very specifically stated, Apply and wrap tightly around areas of soreness and fatigue. Guaranteed to relieve muscle aches and pains. When Eight asked Three exactly which parts of her body were in pain, she replied, “Ugh. Fucking everywhere.” 

She, of course, took these words literally which was how Agent Three ended up completely enwrapped in seaweed like some sort of mummified squid sushi.

To her credit, it wasn’t as if she wanted or even expected it to happen. Eight had started from her feet and slowly worked her way up, unwinding the bandage roll and tying it snug around Three’s body. It even started to feel pretty good, to the point that she shut her eyes and relaxed her body, waiting for the Octoling to finish. In retrospect, she should have noticed something was wrong when she could no longer move her arms because they were tied down to the bed. When Eight had finally managed to reach up to her neck, Three knew that something was very wrong.

Her eyes shot open as she struggled against the tight bindings around her, but the combination of her fatigue and Eight’s wrapping skills as Eight started to wrap the seaweed around her face. “WAIT! EIGHT! Stop!! What the shell are you doing you’re not supposed to- NNFFF!!”

“It is alright,” Eight shushed Three as she covered her mouth with the slimy bandage. “While my first-aid abilities are not at an optimal level, I have made sure to read the kit’s instructions carefully. Please be at ease, Three.”

The inkling stared up at Eight in horror as the last thing she saw was Eight’s warm, smiling face whispering reassurances as she covered her eyes, plunging her vision into darkness and completing her mummification.

“MMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNFF!!!”

The only part that Eight had not taped up was Three’s nose so she could breathe. Otherwise, her entire body was now just a dark green mass of aquatic vegetation. Eight stood up and nodded to herself proudly, satisfied that she had performed her job to the letter.

“This is bad,” Callie said to the group, shaking her head. “This is really bad. If what Four said is true then that means there’s way more going on that we don’t know about.” She paused before adding, “But on the plus side at least you guys blew up the lab. That’ll set Kamabo back a bit.”

Four crossed her arms. “I shan’t pretend to act ignorant about our situation. I will admit, I am concerned about the vile experiments Kamabo has been conducting as of late and I am more than happy with the knowledge that we’ve done some damage to them. However, I doubt that’s going to give them pause for very long. We need to take action."

“Damn right!” Pearl huffed. “How’s Kamabo even still kicking right now? We gotta finish ‘em off before we have another superweapon of doom knocking on our front door.”

Marie nodded silently, her chin resting on her hand as she stared at the ground in thought. “I agree.”

“I’m 100% on board with this idea too,” Marina said. "But where do we even start? How we even knew about this lab was a total accident in the first place.”

The team spent the better part of the next hour planning and discussing their next move. There were various ideas thrown around but ultimately every attempt at direct action was thwarted by the simple fact that they didn’t know where to start. Kamabo was extremely secretive about its activities and the locations of its other facilities. It was highly unlikely for them to luck out on a second lab as they had with the first.

“I could try and see if I can pick up any more of those radio frequencies,” Marina suggested. “It’s a long shot and I’m pretty sure Kamabo would've noticed that they were leaking signals by now but I'll give it a shot anyway.”

“Smart, ‘Rina!” Pearl grinned. “As for me, I’ll go askin’ some of my underground fans if they know something. Those dudes can get info on just about anything so I’m pretty sure I’ll find something good."

Marie tapped her chin. “Asking around the right people could give us a lead. I think that sea cucumber friend of Eight’s would be a good place to start. We could even try Grizz. I’m sure if we bribe him with enough Eggs he’ll be inclined to say something.”

Eight, who had been busy wrapping bandages around her own arms was listening in on the conversation. She shuddered at the mention of the CEO’s name. Her distrust of him hadn’t changed and as far as she was concerned the Splatoon shouldn’t have anything to do with him. Mr. Grizz knew far more than he let on, and she had a sinking feeling that he would have an idea of what Kamabo might be planning. The question would be at what cost will they have to pay for that information? She remembered the message he had left her after her first Salmon run - “I think we can help each other, you and I. I know you’ve got questions, and let’s just say I’ve got the answers. See you soon, Octo girl.” She wanted to keep her personal involvement with the bear to Three and herself, at least until she could figure out his intentions.

“I can speak with C.Q.,” she volunteered. “His prior employment with the company means he may have valuable information about their inner workings. Seeing as he is my friend, I believe he would be more comfortable answering my questions.”

Callie blinked. “Um, you're not going anywhere. The three of you need to take some time off seeing as you all almost, you know, died? Marie can handle the questioning and I’ll take care of Octoboy over there. We’ll get back with you if we find anything.”

“Preposterous!” Four stood up in protest, her legs wobbling. "I object to this decision. I am more than capable of handling reconnaissance missions, even in my current state."

“Four is right,” Eight said. “There must be something we can assist with. We would like to help, even if just a little. Right, Three?”

The mummified Inkling simply wiggled in response.

“Forget it!” Pearl stood up and shoved Four back down on her chair. “You girls had your fun, now it's our turn. I've been itchin' to do something fun."

Marina nodded. “I have to agree with the others. You should take the time to recover, we might need you in the near future. Eight, please take care of yourself, okay?” She glanced at the Octoling with a stern, yet somehow gentle look that made Eight sigh and nod.

“Okay.”

Marina smiled. “Thank you.”

“Well, I’m not satisfied with this,” Four humphed stubbornly. “As a full-fledged Agent of this team I reserve the right to contribute to this mission however I please.”

“Four?” Marie spoke up, clearing her throat and standing from her chair. “Could I speak with you alone for a minute?”

“A-ha! I knew you would support me in this, Marie. Come then, I might need your help convincing the others to see things my way.”

The two shuffled off to the corner as the others watched them from a distance. They spoke in quiet mumbles and while the others couldn't hear their conversation, it was clear from Four's increasingly exasperated tone she didn't like what she was hearing. She raised her arms in protest and was about to say something when Marie pulled Four close and, turning their backs from the curious onlookers, whispered something into her ear. Pearl and Callie leaned their heads in to try and get a better angle to eavesdrop but were ultimately unsuccessful.

As Marie turned and walked back, the two quickly looked away, feigning ignorance as the silver-tentacled idol sat back down in her chair with a satisfied smirk. Four followed behind her and took her own seat, her facial expression impassive despite the fierce red colour on her cheeks.

She cleared her throat and closed her eyes. “I have been convinced. I will take the next few days to rest and I shall leave the investigations to the rest of you.”

Eight sympathized with Four. She wanted to assist as well, but a direct order from her superiors couldn't be disobeyed. Marie had no doubt told Four that in no uncertain terms was she allowed to participate. She was obviously displeased with the decision - the Inkling’s cheeks were obviously flushed with anger.

Now that things had finally settled down and the team had a plan moving forward, Eight realized just how tired she actually was. There were still countless questions floating in her mind, chief among them concerning the male Octoling resting on the bed just behind her. Would he eventually wake up? If he did, would he even remember anything? His circumstances mirrored hers to an almost eerie extent.

She shook her head. She had to rest, and such questions could wait until later.

“Will that be all, then?” Four asked. “I’ll be taking my leave if there’s nothing else.”

“Wait, hold on a sec,” Callie interjected. “I know we told you to take a break and all but that doesn’t mean we don’t have an assignment for you girls in the meantime.”

“That’s right,” Marina said. “Um, you see, during the mission we noticed there were some… problems with teamwork.”

Pearl crossed her arms. “Talk about it. Was like watching a buncha squid kiddies fighting over the last signed copy of our album.”

“So we got to talking and we figured a little training exercise in working together wouldn’t be a bad idea. And since you’re all off for a bit, it's the perfect time to try it out.”

Eight tilted her head. “What did you have in mind?”

Marie answered, “The first step to working like a team is having strong bonds with each other. To help with that…”

“We decided you three should have a sleepover together!” Callie finished, squealing with delight. “It’s perfect! You could all relax together and talk the whole night away, spilling secrets and talking about your liiives~.”

There was a struggle behind Eight as Three immediately started flailing to try and free herself, obviously none too pleased with the idea.

“A… sleepover?” Four mused. “I suppose it’s not a terrible idea. Are you suggesting we hold it here?”

“No way,” Callie replied, shaking her head. “We’ll need this place for the investigation. It’s gonna have to be somewhere else. What about one of your places?”

“Regrettably, my landlord prohibits overnight guests unless he’s had a chance to speak with them. I’m sure Eight would be fine, but I seriously doubt Three’s chances. What about you, Eight? You’re living with those two, correct?” Four gestured towards Pearl and Marina. “Why don’t we go there?”

“Can’t,” Pearl immediately answered. “We’re gonna be throwing a sick-ass part- oh... oh shit...” she stopped as Marina desperately gestured from behind, placing a finger on her lips for Pearl to stop talking. “I meant ‘Rina needs the place to herself to look more into Kamabo. Yeah.”

“Tsk.” Four sighed in disappointment. “Then loathe as I am to say it, that means that only leaves us with Three. While I am sure that her home would hardly befit a lady such as myself, I am rather excited to see what kind of a place it is. ”

“MMMFFGHGH!!” At Four’s suggestion, Three began to thrash about wildly, trying as hard as she could to escape her bondage. The last thing she wanted was for Four or Eight to figure out where she lived. Unfortunately, Eight’s seaweed-tying skills were second to none, and it was difficult to move. She did, however, feel that she was slowly breaking free.

“You do not know where she lives Four?” Eight asked, as she to calm Three down by tightening the seaweed even more. "Please do not move too much Three. The bandages are coming loose."

“It’s because she never tells me!” Four crossed her arms indignantly. “Every time I ask she just laughs and walks away.”

Marie chuckled. "Don't sweat it, I can tell you her address. That cool, Three?”

“MMMMMMMMHHHHHH!!!!”

“Sweet, thanks.”

Out of desperation, Three began to bite on the seaweed around her mouth, hoping to chew her way free. The wet, green ointment filled her mouth and she had to stop as the bitter taste mixed with the slimy texture made her want to hurl. I SWEAR TO COD YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE MARIE!!!

“Then it’s settled. You girls have your sleepover at Three’s and we’ll take care of things here in the meantime.”

“Wonderful!” Four cheered. “Then I shall return home and begin packing my things immediately.”

“And Pearl and I will help Eight out with her things,” Marina added.

Eight nodded. She had no idea what a sleepover was or what kind of activities it entailed so she was thankful that Pearl and Marina were there to help her. Judging from the name, it seemed to imply that they would be meeting at Three’s house to encamp overnight. It struck her as odd that bunking together was seen as a training activity in and of itself. In the Octarian Army, all soldiers were expected to share a room with at least three others from their squad.

The room cleared out shortly after, with the four of them exiting the cabin, leaving only Marie, Callie, Three, and the unconscious Octoling boy behind. 

“Phew, glad that’s settled.” Callie readjusted her pink beanie and grinned. “I think this’ll be a good thing for them. Say, Marie, what’d you tell Four to get her to agree with our plan? I didn't expect her to go with it like that, she’s one of the most stubborn squids I know.”

Marie shrugged. “Just some squid-pro-quo, don't worry about it.” A cold smile formed on her face. “Four’s pretty easy to handle if you know how. I really enjoy playing with her like that.”

Callie stared at her and unconsciously took a step. “Has anyone ever told you you’re pretty scary sometimes, ‘cuz?”

Marie rolled her eyes and stood up. “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. You should probably get Three outta that seaweed. I’m starting to think it’s cutting off her blood supply.”

“Ughh, but it looks so gross. Can’t you do it?”

“Mm, I don’t think she’s gonna be too happy that I’m giving Four her address. I think I might have to hide out for a while until she calms down.” Marie walked over to the Inkling, who had expended all her energy and was now still, although breathing furiously out her nose.

She knelt down and whispered in Three’s ear. “You know, Three, I think you should give this sleepover thing a try. She’d never admit it but Four’s pretty lonely. I know you two don’t get along but this might be a good place to start.”

Three snorted.

Marie stood up and brushed the dust off her kimono, speaking loudly enough that Callie could overhear. “And hey, if that doesn’t work out you could take the time to get closer to Eight. I don’t think she has any idea what a sleepover actually is so you could probably convince her to come sleep in your bed. Knowing her she'd probably do it too.”  She grinned as Three stiffened at the suggestion. 

“Just an idea though. See you around Three.”

Callie shook her head as she watched Marie nonchalantly stroll out of the room, chuckling quietly to herself.

“Jeez Four, you sure know how to pick ‘em.”

…

Cleaning was not one of Three’s fortes. It wasn’t that she was a slob per se, but she was the type of squid to ignore things until it got to the point where they couldn’t be ignored. Dishes, for example, she would leave to “soak” in the kitchen sink for days until they started to stink up her place at which point she would deal with it. The tedium of having to clean her plates and utensils eventually reached a point where she just decided to use paper plates and plastic forks so she could discard them after use without any fuss.

On second thought, maybe slob would be the right word to describe her.

Whenever the thought of cleaning her house would pop into her mind she would convince herself there was no need for it. “My time’s way too valuable for this,” she would tell herself. 

“Besides,” she would continue. “S’not like I’m ever gonna let anyone come over so who cares?”

She hadn’t regretted that decision as much as she had at this moment.

Three scratched her head in frustration. Where to start? There were stacks of pizza boxes and empty takeout containers scattered throughout the kitchen which she figured she could start tossing out. With an exasperated sigh, she began stuffing them in a large black garbage bag as she wondered how things ended up this way. Why were they even having a sleepover in the first place? If the others had wanted the three of them to get to know each other better they were so many other things they could have done. A movie, the arcade, whatever. But why a sleepover? She made a mental note to make them pay later.

As she picked up a red takeout container labelled "The Crust Bucket” off the table, she noticed something hidden underneath. She picked up the object, a small bronze pin with the emblem of an Inkbrush splayed across the surface. The words “Inkblot Academy” were written around the image. She flipped it on its back where the words "A+R = BFFs" were carved on, along with several tiny hearts. She stared at it disdainfully and was about to throw it into the garbage bag before she stopped and sighed. Tossing it back on the table, she turned and continued clearing out the rest of her house.

By the time she had finished tidying her house to an acceptable level, it was already six o’clock. Three hoisted the bags of garbage she was holding down the stairs and threw them into the alley dumpster outside. Her place wasn’t immaculate by all means but at least the floor was visible now. Grunting with satisfaction, she dusted off her hands and took out her phone to check the time.

The sun was setting and the streetlights were already starting to come on. Three glanced around the area, noting several inklings loitering around. A group of them were hanging around a cardboard box taking turns passing a joint around as they whispered and laughed amongst themselves. Across the street, an Inkling wearing an oversized jacket and beanie had passed out and was now lying against a chain-link fence, snoring loudly. It was a common sight in her neighbourhood and while she would normally think nothing of it, with Eight and Four visiting, she was a little concerned for their safety Earlier in the day she had offered to meet them at the nearby bus station and walk them back to her place, just in case. 

They were all more than capable of taking care of themselves if something went wrong, but she wanted to avoid that if possible. She was especially concerned about Eight and her general ignorance of the world. She wouldn’t be surprised if Eight somehow ended up joining a gang without her even realizing it.

Speaking of Eight, Three had made sure to get rid of those “Mem Cakes” she had been taking. She had passed them off to Callie and told her to “give it to the egg-head and tell him to get back to me.” While Sheldon wasn’t exactly well-versed with drugs and chemicals, preferring to spend the day poring over weapon blueprints, Three figured he might know someone who did. Ironically, even though he was well-known among the Splatoon as an exasperating chatterbox, he was pretty respectful when it came to personal secrets.

Hopefully those drugs were harmless and were what Eight believed them to be. Worst case, they had some sort of nasty side effects as most substances of that kind do. Three remembered seeing an Inkling sprout an extra tentacle from the side of their head after drinking a particularly potent concoction of alcohol and squid ink. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

As Three caught sight of the bus station, she saw that Four and Eight were already there, chatting excitedly with each other. Four, as usual, was overdressed for the occasion, wearing a bright pink sequined jacket and Toni-Kensa branded yoga tights. What made Three’s jaw drop was the stack of suitcases behind her. There were three - no - four separate pieces of luggage there.

Are you trying to move into my house?!

Eight was much more conservative with her belongings, bringing along only a small backpack for the night. She was wearing an oversized green hoodie, denim shorts, and a black bandana tied around her head, clothes which were no doubt picked by Pearl and Marina. Three’s eyes snaked down to Eight’s smooth, toned legs which were almost completely exposed and blushed, looking away quickly before she was caught staring. Sheesh. If there's one thing Octolings were good at, it's keeping in shape.

"Yo," Three held up a hand as she approached the pair.

Eight waved back cheerfully. "Good evening, Three. We were just discussing the upcoming sleepover. We are very excited for the event."

"Yeah?" Three smiled in irritation. "Is that why you brought your entire fucking house with you, Four?" She glared pointedly at the Inkling who humphed and crossed her arms.

"These were the absolute essentials, I assure you. I'll have you know I had to leave behind most of what I wanted to bring. You should be grateful that I was so considerate. In fact, you should be kneeling on the ground before me and thanking me for my generosity. Ohohoho~!" Four covered her mouth and chortled loudly as Three quickly scanned around, hoping no one would notice them.

"Look, can we just go? The sun's getting low and you're just putting a target for us to get mugged."

"What?!" Four's eyes widened in disbelief. "You can get robbed in your neighbourhood? Sacré bleu, Three. Next you'll be telling us you've not even bothered to prepare a taxi for us and we'll be expected to walk there." Her eyes grew wider as Three simply shot a wicked grin in response. "You didn't."

"What's up? Did Her Majesty forget how to use her legs?"

"How dare you? I'll have you know-"

"Please stop," Eight sighed. "This kind of fighting is exactly why the reason we were assigned this assignment. Three, we must help Four carry her luggage. She cannot do it on her own."

"Typical," she muttered. "She fucks up and I have to clean up her mess."

"We will each take one bag. Four, since these are your belongings it would only be fair for you to take the other two."

"But I just had my nails done! Ugh. Fine."

"Please lead the way Three," Eight motioned. "I am excited to visit your place of residence."

Four grunted as she lifted her two suitcases. "Indeed, despite the rather... spartan conditions of this neighbourhood I am most curious to see your home."

Three rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Just don't expect a castle or anything." She had said it sarcastically but knowing Four, she probably did expect a castle. "Before we go, I just want to give you two some ground rules. On the way back don't look around, don't make eye contact with anyone and don’t say anything unless you absolutely have to. If someone comes up to you and starts trying to talk to you, shut up and keep moving. It’s getting dark out and that’s when the freaks like to show up."

She squinted suspiciously at Eight. "You get what I’m saying, Eight? I better not have to pull you off another fire hydrant."

Eight nodded, a serious look on her face. "I understand."

Four hesitated at Three's instructions. What kind of shellhole was she stepping into? "Erm, very well then. You, uh, don't happen to have a Splattershot hidden underneath those clothes do you?"

"No,” Three said flatly. “We'll be fine. Besides, nobody's tried to rob me in the past week."

"Ah, good. Good. That’s reassu- wait hold on, past week? "

"Let's go. The longer we stand here the darker it’s gonna get." Three began to head off into the streets with Eight trailing close behind, the Octoling’s eyes focused straight ahead and her body stiff.

“A-Ah, wait for me!” Four gulped and quickly moved to join them, her knuckles practically turning white from holding onto her belongings so tightly.

I swear to cod I'll die before I let anyone take my stuff.

…

Thankfully, and much to Four’s relief, the walk back to Three’s apartment was an uneventful one. The streets had emptied out and barring the occasional Inkling passing by, the trio didn't encounter another soul. They would hear the odd noise here and there, such as whispering and the sound of something falling being knocked over in a dark alley and Four would squeal in fear whenever it happened.

“Some Agent you are,” Three scoffed after Four shrieked and jumped from a loud bang  sounding in the distance.

“Hey! When I was fighting Octavio I wasn’t worried about my brand new Takoroka Hi-Tops getting stolen. You two guard my items as if your life depended on it!”

As for Eight, Three was relieved to find that for the most part, the Octoling kept her eyes straight ahead, following close behind and not making a sound. There was a moment when they passed by a large blue post office box on the street corner that Three could feel Eight being tempted by the object. She made sure to shut that down with a stern, Don’t even think about it .

By the time they had reached Three’s apartment complex, Four was practically shoving the two inside. Slamming the door closed behind her, she let out a huge sigh of relief. 

“Very good. We came out no worse for wear, though I swear we were being followed for the last few minutes there. Everything accounted for?”

“More or less. My room’s on the sixth floor, so this is gonna take a while.”

Four chuckled nervously, her eye twitching as she a bad feeling welled up in her gut. “W-Whatever do you mean? The elevator’s right there.”

“Doesn’t work.” Three grunted, lifting the suitcase up off the ground. “Gonna have to carry this shit up.”

Four covered her face in despair and fell to her knees, a cry of exasperation about to escape her lips before Three rushed over and clamped it shut. “DO NOT make a fucking sound, you’ll wake everyone up.”

After Three let her go and began ascending the stairway, Four took several deep breaths and began whispering to herself. “It’s okay, it’s alright. Stay strong Alice, you’ve persevered through much tougher situations. Chin up, you can do this!”

“Why is Four whispering to herself?” Eight asked as she climbed the stairs.

Three shook her head. “Don’t even ask.

…

“Fwaahh!!” Four exhaled with delight as she gulped down a large swig of Dr. Coral from a can she directly pilfered from Three’s fridge. “Now that hits the spot.” She flopped down on Three’s couch and hummed happily as she took another drink.

The Agents had finished moving into Three’s place and Four was so exhausted from the trip that she didn't even care how messy it was. Eight took a seat by the folding table in the kitchen and glanced around nervously. She wasn't sure how to act. Four at least seemed to be very casual about being here. 

"You want anything to drink Eight?" Three asked loudly enough for Four to hear. "'Cuz you know normally you have to ask before taking shit out of someone’s fridge."

Four, who failed to pick up on not so subtle jab, or simply chose to ignore it, took out her phone and began to take pictures of the house. After a moment she examined the photos she had taken and scrunched her face in displeasure. “Ugh, there’s nothing to photograph here. Why is your house so bare , Three? A painting, some flowers, even a poster goes a long way, you know.”

Three was about to make a cutting reply when Eight quickly said, "Um, I shall have an orange juice please," hoping it would stop another argument from brewing.

Three grunted and headed into the kitchen, pouring Eight a glass and handing it to her. She took a seat across from her and leaned back in her chair, resting her feet on the table. Folding her arms she stared straight ahead at the wall, displeasure plain on her face. “Sorry the place is a mess. I didn’t have a lot of time to clean.”

“That is fine. I am happy just to be invited to your home like this. It is impressive that you live alone, Three.”

At that statement, the Inkling raised an eyebrow. “You think so?”

“Indeed. In the Octarian Army we were never allowed to sleep alone. Bunk rooms were often shared by eight or more squadron members. If you were promoted, you could be relocated to a more spacious room but you would still have to share with at least three other soldiers.” Eight couldn’t imagine living on her own like Three was. She wasn’t worried about the extra chores and duties that came with living alone, but the knowledge that she would be the only one there made her uncomfortable.

“I live alone too, Eight,” Four commented, grinning proudly. “Perhaps you should come visit someday. Erm, you can’t stay overnight though.”

Eight smiled at the invitation. “I would be happy to, Four.”

“So what exactly are we supposed to do for this ‘assignment’ anyways?” Three asked. “I’ve never had people stay here overnight and I sure as shell never been to a sleepover.”

“Ohohoho! Somehow that doesn’t surprise me. Fret not, for I am well-versed in the art of slumber parties. Yes, yes, you can thank me later.”

“Bullshit. I don’t think you’ve ever been to a sleepover either.”

“Wh- How dare you impune my honour with such baseless accusations? I’ll have you know I’ve been to plenty of them.”

“Okay, give me the name of one of the squids who hosted it.”

“...Pardon?”

“If you’ve been to so many, you’d have to know the name some of the party hosts, right? And since you’re soooo popular, you’ve probably been invited by some of the biggest squids in Inkopolis that even I should’ve heard of them.”

“A-Ah, of course, what a foolish question. Th… There was, um, let’s see here… uh…” Four looked away, avoiding Three’s piercing gaze as she began to sweat nervously. “I-I think his name was… Bob…”

Three stared at Four. “Bob.”

Four glimpsed down at her drink in a panic.

“C-Coral. Bob Coral.” Four quickly added, “He was a doctor.”

“Ah, okay, okay,” Three nodded. “So the dude was a doctor. Dr. Coral. Like the soft drink.”

“Exactly!” Four breathed a sigh of relief. Oh thank cod she bought it .

Three rolled her eyes. "You're so full of it Four. If you're gonna bullshit at least make it believable.

Okay, maybe not. "I-It's true!" she cried indignantly.

"Alright, tell me about this 'Dr. Coral'."

"Of course! He, uh, does… medicine…"

"That's crazy," Three deadpanned.

"Indeed! B-But he's retired now so you probably won't be able to find him on the Splatweb."

“...So you go to sleepovers with old, retired dudes who used to be doctors.” Three nodded in mock understanding. "Little creepy but whatever floats your boat. Wonder if Marie knows about this.”

GAH! Four’s mind raced in a panic. Three was sharp. Annoyingly sharp. Out of desperation, she was about to blurt out something that would when dug her grave even further when Eight gasped with delight and held her hands together in wonder.

“That is amazing, Four. You are well-connected with experienced, medical practitioners?"

The two Inklings turned and looked at Eight, having forgotten that she was still there. “Ahm, um, I-”

“I am very impressed! Having a ‘sleep over’ with such a squid is certainly an accomplishment worthy of praise.” Generally, doctors in the Octarian Army were few and far between. Whether due to frequent battles or intense training, the lifespan of an average Octarian was short enough that medics were often not required. The few that did exist were regularly sent to the front lines as a common infantry unit, which further accounted for their low numbers. Eight never knew any Octarian doctors herself as they often slept in separate bunk rooms, but she always respected the work they did. That Four not only knew a doctor but was even invited to his home astounded Eight to no end.

“I, too, would like to sleep with an old doctor one day.” Eight sighed wistfully as Three and Four stared at her in shock, completely unsure of what to say.

The two locked eyes with each other and without a single word agreed to change the topic of conversation immediately. “So you girls hear about the Ranked Battle changes happening next month? Yeah, there's gonna be new tiers, a new division… thing… and a, uh, league system or something.

“I did, I did!” Four over-enthusiastically replied. She actually had no idea what Three was talking about and from the look in Three’s eyes, it was clear she had no clue what she was saying either. 

“Since since we're on the topic, Eight my dear, you simply must come play some Ranked matches with me one day.”

No sooner than the words had left her mouth did the unpleasant and near-agonizing memories of their Clam Blitz match surface in her mind. Oh no, what have I done? For the love of all that is good Eight, please decline. Please decline. Please decline.

Eight blinked in surprise. “Oh. I was certain that after our previous experience with Ranked Battles you would not be looking forward to participating with me again. I do not think it would be wise for me to join you.”

Oh thank cod. “A shame then. Perhaps-”

“But I am overjoyed to hear that you would like to team up once again. Not only will this be an excellent way for us to improve our teamwork, but I would also like to play more of that Clam Ball game. I accept your invitation Four.

FUCK. “W-Wonderful!” Four smiled painfully, knowing full well that she would be paying for her mistake in the future. Wanting to get off the topic of "Clam Ball", her eyes darted around the room until they landed upon a familiar looking game console plugged into Three’s TV.

“Oh my,” Four gasped. “Is that the Super Squid 64? I’m surprised you still have one. May I play it?”

“Huh? Yeah, sure,” Three responded nonchalantly. “I don’t have a lotta games but you can take a look.”

Four got up from the couch and placed her drink on a nearby table. She raced over the console where she found a small stack of game cartridges hidden behind it. 

“Oh, oh, you have this one? I love this game!” Four excitedly plucked out one of the games and placed it in the console. Stepping back, she turned the TV on and the title of the game displayed prominently in the centre of the screen.

GoldenFish 007

Press Start to Play

Four grabbed one of the controllers and sat back down on the couch, giggling as she pressed the Start button. Eight, who was curious as to what Four was doing, sat beside the Inkling as Three stood and watched from the side.

The game seemed to take place from the first person perspective of a secret agent, tasked with infiltrating an enemy stronghold and rescuing a hostage. The graphics were blocky and the sound design was clearly aged, but Eight could tell Four was thoroughly enjoying herself. “This must be one of those ‘video games’ I have read about online,” Eight commented.

“Yes!” Four replied, her fingers deftly moving around the controller like a practiced expert. “Oh my cod, I haven’t played this game since I was a little squid. It’s just as good as I remembered it.”

“And you are playing as a secret agent?”

“Isn’t that so crazy? When I was younger I always wanted to be a secret agent like in the game, and it like, totally happened. It’s, like, a dream come true!”

Eight giggled. She was glad Four was enjoying herself, and even Three was getting into the game, making call-outs and pointing out things Four would miss. “There’s a secret weapon hidden in the wall if you shoot through it. Yeah, that one. If you hold down the trigger it kills anything in like, two seconds.”

“Did you use to play this game a lot too, Three?” Eight looked up at Three who shrugged.

“I think everybody around my age has. It was really popular back in the day. I think there's still a couple tournaments going on for it even now. Wait, Four, you missed the optional objective there. Go back! No don’t- GAH!”

Three took a seat beside Four and picked up the second controller. “Mind if I join you? This boss is pretty tough.”

Four glanced at Three and smirked. “Fine, but don’t get mad if I leave you behind.”

Three chuckled and pressed a button on her controller, joining in on the action. “Right back at ya.”

The two Agents traversed through the game’s many levels, breezing through the boss battles without losing so much as a single life. Despite Four’s earlier statement for Three to keep up, the latter was holding her own quite well, even rushing through some stages faster than Four did. But throughout the many battles, the two never truly left the other behind, always coming back to assist whenever they ran into trouble.

“Here, I got a health pack,” Three said, tossing the critically injured Four her spare.

“Yay! Thanks,” Four accepted gratefully.

Three and Four may not have noticed, but Eight was quietly giggling at the teamwork the two were showing. The tension between them had slowly vanished and was being replaced by a mutual enjoyment for the game. She didn't care that much for the game itself, but she was happy that it was bringing the two together.

At last the pair reached the final boss, a giant Sea Anemone in a mob boss outfit, complete with dark glasses and fedora, holding an almost ridiculous amount of weapons in its many tentacles.

"Agent 007 and Agent 006," he roared. "You've messed with my plans for the last time. Prepare to get splatted!"

Three shot Four a grin. "Ready, partner?"

"Hehe, you know it. CHAAARGE!!"

The two leapt into the fray as the Anemone unloaded its entire salvo at them. It was a hard fought battle; they were almost completely wiped out several times. Three and Four both had fierce looks of determination on their faces as Eight cheered from the sides.

"Go Three! Go Four! Bust a - how you say - cap on that fool, yo!" 

“Tch.” Three clicked her tongue and turned to Eight, putting down her controller. "Eight. What did I say about talking like that?"

"Three, look out!" Three jumped as Four's warning snapped her focus back on the screen. She had just narrowly avoided getting hit by a swinging Inkblade.

"One hit left, take him down!" The boss was stunned after slashing with his blade, swaying left and right in a daze as cartoon stars circled around its body.

"I got it." Three aimed down her sights and with one charged shot from her Splat Charger, the Anemone exploded into a magnificent, pixelated burst of pink and purple. 

"Bang."

The screen faded to black as a fanfare played and a message appeared congratulating the players for finishing the game on the highest difficulty. A short epilogue stated how Agent 007 had once again saved Inkopolis and was being awarded several commendations for his performance. Eight clapped in celebration as Three and Four put down their controllers.

"Yeaaaah! We did it!" Four held out a hand for a high-five which Three happily returned. "Impressive stuff Three. You're better than I thought."

"Heh, you're not too bad yourself. You want something to eat? I got pizza in the fridge."

"Don't mind if I do," Four said, licking her lips. "I'm totally starving right now."

"How about you, Eight? Want some?"

Eight nodded. "Yes, please." The two have not fought for almost an hour now. I am glad.

The rest of the night passed by in what felt like just a few minutes. The three Agents chatted for hours, sharing stories and cracking jokes about the absurd things they’d gone through.

“It’s true,” Four said as the other two struggled to hold in their laughter. “I had to save Callie from Octavio five more times . The first time was like, okay, maybe she just forgot that she didn’t get the memo - Hypnoshades were bad news. The second time we had to sit her down and have a presentation on why wearing them was a bad idea. After we found out Octavio had escaped for a fifth time, Marie looked like she was about to lose it. She’s really scary when she’s mad, by the way.”

“Oh cod, I’d be really pissed too if I had to bring her back that many times. Might as well tie her up to a chair to make sure she couldn’t do it again.” Three took a deep chug of her Dr. Coral and sighed. “You know, it really makes me wonder where the Splatoon would be if they didn’t have us.”

“We’re, like, the hidden last line of defence for Inkopolis! It’s really cool to think about it like that.”

Three and Four were also interested in hearing Eight’s stories of her time in the Octarian Army. Despite only having pieces and fragments of her memories, she knew enough to be able to describe the general structure and  duties of a regular Octarian soldier. The sheer amount of hours spent on drills and combat exercises surprised and baffled the two.

“I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, Eight.” Four started slowly. “But with all the time the Octarians put in training, don’t you think they’d put up more of a fight? The soldiers I fought were kinda… brainless and super easy to beat. All your fancy weapons and war machines were pretty easy to get around too. Even the Octolings weren’t as tough as I expected.”

“I wonder,” Eight thought aloud, placing a hand on her chin. “We were always indoctrinated to believe that we were the strongest fighting force in existence, that we won every single battle we fought. There was no real way to disprove this given that our conflict with Inklings would be limited to the infrequent skirmishes with the Splatoon. I do not remember much about it, but if I had to hazard a guess, I imagine that whenever either one of you defeated a squadron of Octarian soldiers, the details were kept hidden from all but those of the highest rank. For the common soldier, to know that we suffered defeat at the hands of a single Inkling would be devastating to morale.”

“Makes sense,” Three replied. “Plus if you thought you were unbeatable, there’d be no reason to keep trying to improve yourself.”

Perhaps that was it , Eight thought. But what Four said still rang true - why were the Octarians so easy to defeat? Surely the amount of training they put it had to amount for something .

“Alright, alright,” Four laughed, changing the topic of conversation. “But one thing I’ve always been wanting to ask you Three, is if you’re always, like, talking about improvement, why don’t you play Ranked Battles at the Tower? It’s literally the perfect game mode for you.”

“I dunno. I guess I’m more of a solo player, and ranked takes way too much teamwork. Turf Wars lets me do my own thing but what I do still makes a difference whether we win or lose. I can’t say the same for ranked - you’re way too reliant on your team.”

“I guess. I think you’d still hit S rank, at least. Oh, but I’d still have to come and help you get up to S+,” Four teased.

Instead of getting angry at the light jab, Three smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Oooh? You think you’re so good, princess?”

“I’m not saying you’re bad, of course. But there’s just things that I’m better at than you.”

“Like?”

Four thought for a moment, before pointing at the Super Squid 64. “I could totally smash your tentacles in GoldenFish.”

Three cracked her knuckles and bared her fangs in a grin. “Alright, now you’ve said it. Let’s go. I’ll kick your ass without even breaking a sweat.”

Eight watched the two get up and hurriedly set up the match in front of the TV. She was a little hesitant to watch the two compete. Healthy competition was always a good thing, but she had a feeling that these two were a little too competitive. Still, the game had brought them together so she hoped it wouldn’t end too badly.

It only took twenty seconds for tensions to start rising.

“You're fucking kidding me.” Three yelled as she was killed in a single shot. “You’re seriously using the Golden Splattergun, Four? That's low.”

Four stuck her tongue out. “Just because I know how to use every weapon to my advantage doesn’t mean- HEY! What the shell, it spawned you right behind me! That’s not fair!”

“No such thing as unfair here,” Three cackled, picking up Four’s dropped Golden Splattergun. “Aight, get your ass over here. Gonna give you a taste of your own medicine.”

“Nooooo!!”

Eight wasn’t sure who to cheer on. She didn’t want to favour one over the other, so she made sure to strike a fine line between congratulating someone for a kill, and encouraging them if they were behind. It was a close game and after fifteen minutes of cursing, trash talking, and slamming controllers on the ground, one squid emerged victorious.

“VICTORYYY~!!!” Four cheered as the final blow was struck. They were both down to their last life and both had each other in their crosshairs, but Four was just a split-second faster and managed to pull her trigger first.

“FUCK!” Three tossed her controller to the ground angrily. “THIS close,” she emphasized with her fingers. “I was THIS close to kicking your ass. You got lucky.”

“Luck had nothing to do with it,” Four whooped. “But, like, it was a totally close match.” She held out her hand and smiled. “Good game.”

Three looked down at Four’s outstretched hand as Eight nervously watched in anticipation. From what she understood it was customary after the match for the two competitors,  to grasp each other's palms and move them in an up-and-down motion. Apparently this communicated mutual respect for each other's skills and was considered good practice. It was a little strange, but certainly not the strangest thing she'd read about on Inkling customs.

After a short pause, Three smiled and shook Four's hand. "Yeah, good game. Next time we have a rematch, it'll look different."

"Bring it on," Four giggled. "It's weird isn't it? You and me haven't really had a conversation like this since we were kids."

In an instant, Three froze. Her face darkening as suddenly she let go of Four's hand. "Yeah," Three spat, her voice dripping with venom. "Funny how that works." 

The atmosphere of the room had suddenly gone cold, and any previous feelings of friendship and camaraderie had completely vanished.

Realizing her mistake, the blood drained from Four's face as she recoiled and held her hands out in a panic. "W-Wait Three. I didn’t mean to- that's not what I was-"

Three stood up and growled, "You two can sleep in the living room but you both better be gone by the time I wake up tomorrow."

Before either of them could protest, Three stormed off to her room and slammed the door shut. There was a deathly silence in the air as Eight sat frozen, stunned at what had just occurred.

What happened? In the blink of an eye, things had taken a turn for the worse, and she had no idea why.

Her ears twitched as the quiet was broken by a soft sobbing across the room. Four had curled up on herself, burying her face in her leggings as tears flowed freely from her eyes.

"...Four?" Eight asked quietly, getting up from the table and approaching the Inkling. "I am sure Three did not mean what she said."

As Eight drew close, Four’s quiet sobbing erupted into a full fledged bawling as she tackled the Octoling in a crushing hug. “WAAAAAH!!!! THREE HATES ME!!!”

Ah. This seems familiar. It was a position Eight knew all too well. Four was the type of inkling to get physical when she got emotional and Eight knew that all she wanted was to be told everything was going to be okay. “There, there,” Eight murmured, patting her head. “She does not hate you.”

“Yes she DOES! She’s hated me ever since… since… WAAAH!!!!”

Oh dear . “I-I see. Would you like to tell me what happened to make you think this way?”

Four sniffed and simply shook her head, pulling Eight even tighter. The Octoling smiled sadly and gently stroked her head. “It is alright. You do not have to speak.”

The two stayed in that position, with Eight whispering words of encouragement to Four. After a while she had finally calmed down and her sobs had come to an end. She looked up at Eight with red eyes and smiled. "Thanks Eight. You always know how to make me feel better. I love you."

Eight giggled. "I am happy to be of assistance Four."

"Okay, well." Four inhaled deeply and released her hold, taking out her phone. "I need to call Marie about this. I just... I just need to hear her voice." After a pause she snorted, shaking her head. "Wow. Sorry, that was lame. I'll be in the kitchen."

Eight nodded as Four walked away and when she was out of earshot, she sighed. For all intents and purposes the mission going extremely poorly. The whole purpose of the night was to foster a closer bond with each other but now she felt like they couldn't be further apart.

She took a deep breath and cleared her head. No. Now was not the time to think about what could have been. Now was the time to focus. The mission was still in progress and she was not going to return to her superiors without accomplishing her objective. Unfortunately, she had no idea where to start. Four was currently occupied and Three was probably stewing in her room. Seeing no other option, she had to call in for support.

“Hello. Marina? I require your advice.”

“O-Oh! Hey Eight. How’s the sleepover going? I hope it’s going well!” There seemed to be a loud commotion in the background with what sounded like music and.. screaming?

Eight frowned in concern. “It is going… what is that I hear through the cell phone? Are you alright?”

“I’m fi-”

There was a loud pop of a microphone, followed by a wild cheer as Pearl yelled, “AIGHT YOU FREAKY SQUIDS, LET’S KICK THIS PARTAY INTO OVERDRIIIIIVE! PUT YO’ HANDS IN THE AIR AND SCREEEAAAM!”

Marina yelped as a loud baseline boomed, completely drowning out her voice. For a few moments, Eight could hear nothing but a garbled mess of noises followed by the loud bang of a door closing. “Sorry about that. Intense, um, research going on. Hehe.”

“I see. Please do not overexert yourself, make sure to rest if you are feeling fatigued.”

“I’ll make sure to do that, thanks. How’s the sleepover going? You all getting along?”

Eight sighed. “The training exercise was proceeding along well and was on pace to concluding successfully. Three and Four were mending the rift that had formed between them and were even holding friendly conversations with each other.”

“That’s wonderful,” Marina said. “But wait, you said it was on pace to becoming a success? Please don’t tell me they started fighting again.”

“That is correct. I did not quite understand what happened but Four mentioned something about their childhood and Three grew angry.”

“Oh. I didn’t know they knew each other as kids?”

“I was not aware of this fact either.”

“Did you try talking to them about it?” Marina suggested.

“Four would not tell me what happened and Three has locked herself in her room. I do not think either of them will share with me what happened.”

There was a pause as Marina considered their options. “I think you should try talking with Three. You don’t have to get her to open up about her past or anything, but she’s probably feeling lonely right now. Just letting her know that you’re there for her would put her at ease.”

Eight hesitated. "I do not think that would be wise. Three prefers solitude in times like this and my presence would just-”

"Trust me, you'll be okay. I have a feeling she’ll make an exception for you."

Eight looked down at her feet, a faint smile forming on her lips. "Is that true? That makes me happy to hear. Very well, I shall go and do what I can to improve her mood. This mission will not fail while I am still capable.”

“Um, Eight, you know this isn’t really supposed to be a mission or anything, right? You were just supposed to hang out and-” Marina stopped as a faint chanting echoed in the background.

“SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!”

“Oh no,” Marina’s whispered, her voice taking on a panicked tone. “I-I have to go, make sure to tell me more about what happened later. I just have to… Pearl! Don’t drink the whole bottle again you know what happened the last time!!!” 

Eight blinked in confusion as Marina hung up. She hoped everything was alright - she thought she heard the word “shots” in the background before the call disconnected. Were the two engaged in some sort of firefight? It seemed awfully dangerous but she was sure those two could handle themselves. Eight stood and made her way to Three’s room, passing by the kitchen where Four was chatting loudly on her phone, gesticulating wildly with her hand.

Upon arriving at Three’s door she knocked exactly three times and waited for a response. When none came she waited exactly ten seconds before she knocked three more times, louder this time. And again. And again. She was about to try for the fifth time when a frustrated voice finally responded. “Eight I swear to cod if you knock one more time I’m going to strangle you.”

Eight flinched. “How did you know it was me?”

“Who the fuck else would knock on my door that many times in a row?! Nobody does that!”

“O-Oh, I see. I read it was customary to strike the door exactly three times to signify a request for permission of entry.”

There was an awkward moment of silence as neither said a word.

"...Should I try aga-”

“NO!" There was a loud groan. "Ugh! Whatever! Just come inside, the door’s unlocked."

Eight gingerly opened the door and stepped inside. It was surprisingly dark inside - only the light from the streetlamp outside illuminated the area. 

The room itself was virtually empty, aside from the bed and a desk. It reminded Eight of a typical Octarian room - anything that wasn't related to sleep was deemed redundant and discarded immediately. Perhaps Three was of the same mind when it came to this. 

Three was sitting on her bed, staring out the window. Without turning her head she muttered, 'What do you want?"  

"I wanted to check up on you." Eight looked around for a chair or stool to sit on but came up empty. Instead, the Octoling decided to sit on the floor. "I was worried about you."

"I'm fine," was Three's only response.

"I am glad to hear that."

The two sat in silence as the conversation ground to a halt. Eight knew Three wouldn't be saying too much. She wasn't one for talking about personal matters, even more so when she was angry. Eight wanted to say something - anything - to let Three know she was there for her. That if she wanted something to get off her chest, she would listen. But Eight couldn't get the words out.

She didn't know why. Maybe she was just nervous. Maybe it would have sounded too forced. Or maybe it just wasn't the right time to say it. One thing she did know, however, was that sitting together in the darkness, staring out the window into the night sky as the soft chirping of crickets and the sound of the occasional passing vehicle punctuated the scenery, was enough for her.

"Hey," Three asked softly. "What was it like for you? Growing up, I mean." Her eyes were still fixated outside.

"I do not know." Eight pulled her knees close, smiled wistfully. "My memories do not reach that far."

"Oh. Right."

"Though if you were to question the Gen- Octavio, he would know the answer. We are indoctrinated from birth to follow his commands to the letter. There is likely some sort of educational program all Octarian children must go through and I would assume my childhood would have been no different from theirs."

"In a way, I suppose it is a blessing I do not remember any of it," she whispered.

“Shit,” Three mumbled.

"It is unfortunate, but I have come to accept it. I am just glad to be free from his control.”

Three shook her head. “It's still really fucked up. I just can't over it.”

Eight raised her eyebrows in surprise. “What do you mean? If you are referring to my indoctrination please rest assured-”

“Not just that!” Three spun her head to face Eight, a scowl on her face as her voice slowly rose in anger. “It’s fucked up how squids and octopi and you and me got dealt a shit hand from the very start. We didn't get a choice! We were told to just accept the way things were. Do you think I wanted to grow up in this kind of neighbourhood?" She gestured out the window to emphasize her point.

“I had to fight my entire life, while others just got a free pass. Squids who never had to worry about going hungry, who never had to worry about scraping by. Squids who never knew what it was like to be fending for themselves with nobody to help.”

She bared her fangs and pointed an accusatory finger at the door. “Squids like her!” Three’s voice broke as she said this, and she had to catch herself before she said anything more.

What happened to you, Three? Without even thinking, Eight got up from the ground and approached the Inkling. She had always seen Three as her senior, an Agent without peer, someone never showed any sign of weakness. And yet, standing over her like this, she couldn’t help but see that even she had her own predicaments. Three looked so vulnerable right now and the very sight of it made Eight’s heart ache. Sitting down on the bed beside her, she reached out and pulled Three in a close embrace. This wasn’t like the one she had with Four. If she had to describe it, she would say it felt more personal. Intimate.

Three initially recoiled at the unexpected touch, but gradually relaxed her body as Eight continued to hold her. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down. She had just said something deeply personal, and she said it to Eight no less. She could feel her face burning up but she had no idea if it was due to embarrassment or because the Octoling’s body was pressing against hers.

Three shifted slightly, and she felt the side of her head push up against Eight’s chest. Even through her clothes, she could feel two soft objects rubbing against her cheek, threatening to make her lose her composure. She had to bite her tongue to keep herself focused.

Ah. Yeah. It’s definitely her body. 

Eight’s soft, gentle breaths brushed up against her ear, making blood rush to the very tip. She hoped the darkness could mask the redness of her face, but failing that she could always just jump out the window. Three prided herself on always having a backup plan in mind.

And was it just her imagination or was Eight’s heart pounding as fast as hers was?

“Okay, I get it Eight. I’m okay now. Thanks.”

“I-I see. Very well.” The pink-tentacled Agent reluctantly withdrew her arms and retreated, getting up from the bed and sitting back down on the floor. “I would like to let you know that I will gladly support you for any of your problems, Three. You have done so much for me, and I consider you my closest friend. Please do not harbour all these negative feelings to yourself, especially if they cause you pain..”

Three turned and looked outside, partly to think about what Eight had said, and partly to cool her face down. “I know.”

Once again the two sat in silence for a good while until Three looked at Eight and asked, “You want me to tell you how Four and I met?”

---

“And so now they’re having a sleepover right now to try and fix that problem!” Callie recounted cheerfully as she sat on the wooden fence outside the Cabin.

Octavio peered at the Squid Sister and raised an eyebrow. “That’s… interesting.”

“But I dunno if it’s gonna work out. I think Three and Four’s just gonna end up fighting again, and yeah, there’s a chance Eight might be able to work things out between the two of them but I dunno. All I can do is cross my fingers, I guess.”

The DJ scanned the walls of his glass prison with his tentacles, hoping to find some sort of weakness in the design. Alas, he had already tried countless times before and found no success then either. “Do you have any other news, Agent One? Maybe ones with some relevance to me?”

Callie puffed her chest in indignation “Totally rude! I told you all about the lab raid, didn’t I?”

“You did.” Octavio raised a tentacle and tapped his chin. “It’s concerning to me the ease to which the Agents managed to infiltrate the facility. Kamabo is many things, but having lax security is not one of them. Unless…”

“Unless?”

“They expected the Agents to be there.”

“You’re crazy. They got shot by a freakin’ turret and almost died! Plus the place almost exploded in while they were still inside. If you ask me, Kamabo was just caught off guard that we managed to find their lab in the first place. That’s why they didn’t have any security ready.”

“Perhaps you’re right,” Octavio conceded with a sigh. There was no use trying to convince this squid of anything, and he knew he would waste his time and breath attempting otherwise. He pressed against the walls of the snow globe again, this time grunting as he exerted a moderate amount of force. “Is there no way for you to get me out of this blasted thing? It’s glass, just hit it with a hammer or something.”

“Not that easy, DJ,” Callie said, rolling her eyes. “Marie put like 20 levels of security into that thing after you escaped for the fifth time in a row.”

“I think you mean after you let me out for the fifth time in a row.”

“You tricked me every time!” Callie protested.

“I would literally just ask if you wanted to wear the shades. And every time you said yes and let me out.”

“Those were some wicked fresh shades, you’ve gotta admit. Totally something I could see being a hit at one of our shows.”

Octavio stared at her in disbelief. How in the world am I losing to these people? “You really are something else, Agent One.“

“Hehe, thanks. But nah, I can’t getcha out this time, and I’m 100% sure Marie’s not planning on letting you go anytime soon.”

“Drats.” Octavio supposed it would give him even more time to gather his thoughts, though he feared he might cross the fine line from intellectual self-debate to incoherent self-babbling at any moment. The encounter with Kamabo did provide him with new material to pore over though, so he was thankful to the Agent for passing the information along. “I know I’ve asked this before, but are you sure you won’t get in trouble doing this kind of thing? Sharing secrets with your Splatoon’s greatest nemesis isn’t exactly what I would call upstanding behaviour.”

Callie waved her hand dismissively. “Pfft, what they don’t know won’t hurt ‘em.” She squinted at the DJ. “As long as you don’t forget about our deal.”

Octavio rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes. Now go run along, I have to do some thinking.”

“Weeell, it’s not like there’s anything else you can do. Whatevs, I need to go take care of Octoboy. He still hasn’t woken up.”

“Who?”

“The Octoling boy they rescued from the lab! Were you even listening to my story?”

“Another one of my subjects, kidnapped by the Company no doubt,” he sighed. “At least you managed to save him. Tell me what he looks like.”

“It’s pretty weird, actually. He looks exactly like Eight! Except for the, you know, being a guy part.”

“Interesting. What do his tentacles look like?”

“He’s just got the one. Kinda, like, hangs out down the front of his head,” she demonstrated with her hands. “He’s definitely an Octo though, he’s got those weird suckers on it. Uh, not that there’s anything wrong with them or anything.”

Octavio turned away and tapped on his head, muttering to himself. Callie raised an eyebrow and was about to ask what he was thinking about before she rolled her eyes. He did this kind of talking-quietly-to-himself thing often enough that she knew she shouldn’t even bother.

Callie jumped from the fence post and landed with a grunt. “Alright, I’m gone. I’ll catch you up if anything big happens. Stay fresh, ‘Tavio.” She held out a peace sign with her hand and walked back into the Cabin.

“An Octoling who looks like Captain XZ-01 but male..” he muttered. Octavio was the supreme leader of the Octarian Army. While it wasn’t his job to know the names of each and every one of his soldiers, he took special care to remember those that held positions of power within his hierarchy. And yet, he couldn’t seem to recall any Octoling like the one Agent One had just described. A genderswapped doppelganger of one of his finest Captains should, at the very least, sound familiar to him.

Yet why did it seem like he had never heard of this Octoling in his life?

Chapter Text

As far as Splatoon duties were concerned, field work wasn’t Marie’s style. While she wouldn't shy away from getting directly involved if she had to, she was more comfortable sitting back at the Outpost and letting another Agent do the dirty work. That she wasn’t at risk of getting splatted was a nice bonus.

But with the team's three aces off on a bonding retreat, the task of investigating Kamabo fell on her. She had initially volunteered to venture into the Metro and seek out a certain sea cucumber and grill him on what he knew, but upon reconsideration decided that would have been an extraordinarily terrible idea. Not only would she be entering dangerous and unfamiliar territory, but there also wouldn't be anyone on the surface to help her if she got in trouble. So instead she decided to stick aboveground and follow some leads around Inkopolis where she was far more comfortable.

Her first point of contact was Spyke. As someone who kept their ear to the ground, he was the obvious starting point. Perhaps he had heard rumours here and there about suspicious activity, and with any luck, she’d happen upon something regarding Kamabo.

The sea urchin had spoken with her in a café and after agreeing to provide him three signed copies of a yet unreleased Squid Sisters single, he happily shared what he knew. Apparently, there were rumors of Golden Eggs moving throughout the city. Normally this wouldn’t be cause for suspicion - Grizzco was routinely moving large shipments between factories on a daily basis. What was odd was that some of these eggs were being transported to locations that had no known affiliations with Grizzco. Spyke had told Marie about a handoff supposedly taking place by the Inkopolis Shipping Docks later that night and suggested she take a look.

Marie had been sitting on one of the construction cranes on the dock for the better part of an hour while she waited for the transfer to take place. With her legs hanging off sixty feet in the air, the cold night wind bit into her skin and she had to stop herself from chattering her teeth. Thankfully, she had chosen to wear a jacket and beanie before coming to the dock which helped a little bit. All she had to do now was wait.

She rested her chin on her hand, staring uninterestedly around the dock when the sound of her phone ringing in her pocket snapped her into attention. She reached up to her earpiece and answered with the press of a button.

“Marie here. What’s up?”

“Marrriiiieeee!!!!! It’s me!” Four's cheerful voice sounded in her ear.

A small smile crept to her lips as she shook her head in amusement. While she’d never say it out loud, she had been looking forward to Four’s call. “Hey Four. What’s up?”

Across the line, Four huffed and pouted. “You said you wouldn’t call me that when it was just the two of us.”

“Oh. Sorry. What’s going on, Alice?” Marie leaned forward and squinted as she saw something flutter in the darkness. Probably just a bird.   “Let me guess - things aren’t going great at the sleepover?”

“Ugh! Oh my cod, you would not BELIEVE what happened today! Okay, so first off, we get a text from Three telling us she’d pick us up right? So me and Eight meet up at the train station ‘cuz, like, we wanted to go together, and Three shows up - and get this - she’s on foot! She expects us to just get up and haul our suitcases back on foot . Who does she think she is, making a lady like me-”

Marie sighed and leaned back. It was going to be a long night. When Four got going on one of her rants, it was impossible to stop her. Of course, as Four’s girlfriend, Marie tried her best to be supportive but after enduring a particularly long session of griping that kept her awake overnight, she learned to be selective in what she would listen to. Four, for her part, would usually be satisfied with a verbal acknowledgement of “Wow, really?” and “That’s crazy,” interspersed at the appropriate times.

A glimmer of light in the darkness caught Marie’s eye. Her eyes focused in on a lone Inkling with purple tentacles sneaking into the area with a skull bandana covering his mouth. This wasn’t just a passing guard doing their patrols - the Inkling’s nervous walk and demeanor made it clear he wasn’t supposed to be there.

Gotcha.

“And her house didn’t even have any sort of art or decorations inside! Can you even believe that?” Four continued.

“Wow, no way.” Marie stood up and leapt from the crane, quietly landing in a small puddle of white ink she had placed down beforehand. Gotta get a closer look.

The inkling had entered one of the small warehouses by way of a side entrance and Marie had lost sight of him. Entering through the same door would have been risky, so she decided to see if she could find a vantage point from above. Marie jumped and grabbed the ledge of an orange shipping container nearby and began climbing up with a soft grunt. While she wasn’t as physically capable as Four and the others, she was thankful that the idol business kept her at least somewhat active. Carefully scaling the container, she finally reached the top whereupon she hopped to the warehouse roof. She sneaked over to one of the skylights and took extra care not to cast a noticeable shadow below.

The masked inkling stood in the center of the building, nervously wringing his hands as his eyes darted left and right.

“Yeah, that’s not suspicious at all…” Marie muttered to herself.

“Huh?” Four’s voice buzzed in her ear. “What did you say?”

“Nothing, just talking to myself. So what was that you were saying earlier? Something about you and Three had a fight.”

“I don’t even know why!” Four blabbered. “I’m still confused about it, and all I said was ‘we hadn’t had fun like this since we were kids’.”

“I think you know why she got mad at that,” Marie whispered, trying to keep her voice low. “You told me what happened back then.”

There was a loud creak as one of the other doors to the warehouse slid open. The suspicious inkling jumped at the sound and turned to face the source. Another inkling, a female wearing a gas mask walked inside, carrying a locked treasure chest that seemed to be glowing from the inside.

Those must be the eggs , Marie thought.

The one wearing the gas mask stopped a good distance away from the other inkling and said something that Marie couldn’t quite catch. The other responded and the one with the chest moved forward, depositing it in the boy’s arms. The female inkling made a quick nod before turning and running out from where had entered.

The masked inkling weighed the chest in his hands before scanning around the area one more time, pausing to take a glance up above. Marie quickly retreated and pressed her body against the roof, holding her breath as she waited to find out if she had been caught. Luckily, the perpetrator didn’t seem to be making a mad sprint so she figured she was safe.

There was the sound of a door creaking open below and Marie looked down just in time to see the Inkling walking away with the chest. Marie  quietly lowered herself from the roof, resolving to follow him closely behind. Alright, now let's see where you're running off to.

“You know what?” Four cried angrily. “Now that I think about it, who does Three think she is?! She should be thankful I even agreed to enter her hovel of a house. She has some nerve!”

Marie blinked as she hid behind a concrete wall. Why was Four mad all of a sudden? A thought crept into her mind which brought an amused grin on her face. “...Wait, Alice. Are you… doing that five stages of grief thing? Like that whole denial, anger thing.” The concept of the five stages of grief was pretty common knowledge - everybody had at least heard about it at some point. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It was reused in TV and comics so many times it became a sort of a joke in and of itself. Surely Four knew that and was just going along the motions to make some sort of punchline.

...Right?

“What are you talking about?! I’m not grieving. I’m, like, seriously mad right now.”

Marie whispered to herself, “Oh my cod, you’re adorable.” She hoped it wasn’t loud enough to hear.

By the time Marie resumed her pursuit, the Inkling was nowhere to be seen. Cursing, she sprinted forward to try and get a sense of where he could have gone. Fortunately, she spotted him quickly, standing underneath a streetlight, his head darting left to right. From the look in his eyes, it seemed that he wasn’t quite sure where he was going. She breathed a sigh of relief and resumed shadowing him.

After a few seconds, the Inkling nodded to himself and began to run to his left. Surprised by the sudden change in pace, Marie barely had any time to react before she darted off after him. It appeared that he had gone off into the sections of the dock packed with an almost labyrinthine assortment of shipping containers. This made it especially difficult for Marie to keep up while still maintaining a safe distance away. Once or twice she had taken a wrong turn and lost the trail, but somehow always managed to catch sight of him at a later point.

A few minutes had passed and the boy had taken another stop, putting down the chest to catch his breath. Marie herself was exhausted, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep up the pace, not if she had to repeatedly backtrack and retrace her steps. She placed a hand on one of the shipping containers as an idea sprung to her mind. They weren’t particularly tall and she was sure she could climb on top of them like before. Not only would it make it much easier for her to keep eyes on the target, she'd also be able to reduce how much energy she had to spend following him. The downside of this plan was that if the Inkling so much as glanced behind him, there wasn’t much she could do to avoid being seen. Weighing her options, Marie decided to pursue him from up above.

After securing a vantage point from the top of the containers, Marie cautiously approached and crouched down on one knee. She was a little close, but she knew she was quiet enough to avoid drawing any attention. 

“Okay, new plan,” Four said thoughtfully. “Whaaat iiif~ I buy Three some stuff? Then she can’t hate me, right? I was thinking of maybe, like, a new pair of shorts. Ooh, or maybe I could get her a punching bag or something. I think she’d like that. Check your texts, Marie, I’m sending a couple of pics. Let me know what you think.”

BEEP. BEEP.

The Inkling boy had caught his breath and was about to start moving again when the sound of the cellphone’s notification made him jump and wheel around. His eyes widened as he caught sight of Marie crouching behind him only a few feet away. He quickly scooped up the chest and made a mad sprint away.

Fuck. Wasting no time, Marie stood up and began running after him. The choice to climb up the containers was assuredly a smart one - where the boy Inkling would have to make several turns in the maze, Marie could easily jump over. However, the chase was still not an easy one. One wrong misstep and she would her to fall into the maze where she would have no hope of catching up.

“Mariiie? Hellooo? You still there?”

She ignored Four’s voice and kept moving. This was no time to be distracted, and she could see she was gaining on him. She saw that the Inkling was making a beeline towards the exit of the maze which led directly to a dense thicket of hedges and from there into the city alleys. If he made it, there would be no way for her to find him again. Marie reached into her jacket and pulled out a pair of Splat Bombs she had brought in case of emergencies. She noticed that the exit was narrow, and a well-thrown Bomb would cover it with ink, trapping the masked Inkling in.

“...Marie?”

Marie’s lungs were burning at this point, and she was beginning to slow down. Her target, however, showed no signs of fatigue and kept running at a ridiculous pace. She had to make her move now - any longer and she would lose him. She stopped and inhaled deeply, pulling her arm back and hurling the Splat Bomb towards the exit. The masked Inkling looked back and grinned, seeing that his pursuer had given up, but failing to notice the Bomb landing in front of him.

"BWAH!” he cried as recoiled from the explosion, grimacing as he was splashed with ink.

Bullseye . Marie smirked and began to jog towards the Inkling who had picked himself up and was slowly and painfully wading through the puddle of gray ink, holding the chest over his head.

“You’re not there anymore… a-are you?” The sound of Four’s voice breaking made Marie freeze. She hadn’t meant to ignore her all this time - she was just trying to focus. It had paid off, and now her target was right there, trapped and ready for the taking.

“I-It’s okay,” Four sniffled miserably. “I get it. I'll just call you ba-”

“NO!” Marie yelled, turning and placing a hand over her earpiece. “I’m right here Alice! I’m right here. Don’t go anywhere.”

“Marie?" Four sounded genuinely shocked. "I thought you hung up on me or something.”

Marie rubbed the side of her head. “I've listened to you talk on the phone about your new shoes for four hours before. Do you seriously think I'd hang up on you like that?"

“You weren’t saying anything after I sent my texts,” Four muttered. “I thought I was being too annoying and you hated me because of that."

“We’ve only been dating for a few weeks! How could I already ha-” Marie caught herself. Four was understandably emotional at the moment, and the last thing she wanted was to make it worse. She sighed and sat down, hanging her legs over the edge of the shipping container. “I don’t hate you, Alice. I’d never hate you.”

There was a long pause. “...Really?”

“Yeah.” Marie turned her head and watched as the masked Inkling finally trudged his way through the ink and ran through the exit, morphing into his squid form as he leapt into the hedges and disappeared with the eggs.

“Thanks Marie,” Four whispered softly. “I love you.”

“Yeah,” Marie repeated as she looked up into the sky, the night illuminated by hundreds of stars and the bright moon shining down on the city. Did a small part of her regret that she had let her target go? Maybe. But even if she could have gone back in time and given another chance, she knew would have made the same choice every time.

“I love you too Alice.”

The pair were silent for a while, enjoying the moment. And though they were miles away, at the moment the two felt as close as they could be. Four was the first to say anything.

“Maybe this whole thing with Three isn’t so big a deal. After all, she didn’t kick me out. There might be a chance we can get things patched up later.”

Oh good, she’s finally at the Acceptance stage now. “That’s a good idea, I think it’ll end up fine. You know how Three is, just give her some time to cool down and she’ll come around.”

Four giggled. “True. And I’m pretty sure she only got mad at me ‘cuz I totally whomped her on GoldenFish. Hahaha…”

“...wait, was THAT why she got mad at me?”

“Okay, I think we should change the topic right now.”

“I CANNOT believe that’s why she yelled at me! That’s insane! Marie, you won’t believe this but-”

Marie groaned loudly and fell back, clutching her face with her palms as Four started to get into it once again.

How did we end back up on stage one?!

Chapter Text

“How you holdin’ up, Princess?” The Inkling father stood over his child, rubbing her shoulders as he tried his best to calm her down. “First day of school’s a big step. It’s okay to be a lil’ nervous.”

“I don’t wanna go,” the child mumbled. “I wanna stay with you, Dad…” She took a step back as her pale orange sundress ruffled in the wind.

School season was starting for the youths of Inkopolis, just in time for the autumn season. It was still sunny enough for the girl to wear her dress, though she was beginning to regret doing so. Still, it was her first day and she wanted to look at least somewhat presentable, and her father had suggested it.

Matches your tentacles, he had said. That looks good, right?

The father kneeled down and brushed the short tentacles away from her eyes, smiling gently. “Ahh, I know squiddo. But this is a nice place - real fancy from what I’ve heard. You’ll make friends in no time.”

The child shook her head and clutched tightly to her Lil’ Judd plushie. She had spent the previous night unable to sleep, anxiously waiting for this day to come. Her first day of school - and quite literally, in fact. Unlike most of her peers, she had never actually been to an educational institution, having been homeschooled for all of her life. 

When she asked about this, the teacher, her father, apologized and would reassure her, saying, “I’m sorry, squiddo. Cash is just a little tight right now. I’m gonna get you into a proper school soon. Promise.”

She didn’t know why he was apologizing. She was more than happy learning from him, even though his classes weren’t exactly the most educational in the traditional sense. He seemed more focused on keeping her physically active and making sure she had the skills to take care of herself if she ever found herself on her own. That thought of that happening scared her. He was the only family she had, and she couldn’t imagine losing him.

The child readjusted her small orange backpack and jostled it nervously. To say it needed a little patching up would have been an extreme understatement. It was more likely to fall apart if she pulled on it too hard. Still, it was the best she had and she wasn’t going to complain. The little girl looked up at the entrance gate of the school as all around her, fellow students were saying goodbye to their parents. Emblazoned in wrought iron, was the name of the school securely fastened to the gate’s arch.

“Inkblot Academy,” she whimpered. She had never even heard the name before, but just standing outside the entrance was enough to intimidate her.

“Alright, I gotta go to work now. I’ll be back to pick you up later.” He looked at his daughter’s face as she hung her head and avoided his eyes. He gave a half-smile. “Hey. Look at me.” He placed a gentle hand on her chin and pushed it up. “‘Member what I taught ya? Keep your chin up, shoulders high, and look everyone in the eye. You look strong, you’ll feel strong. Got it?”

She bit her lip and did as her father instructed. It seemed to help her calm down, at least a little bit. “O-Okay, Dad.”

“That’s my girl!” He gave her a hug and stood up, adjusting his cap. “Make a lot of friends, okay? Love you.”

The young Inkling simply nodded as she watched as her father heaved his worn gray jacket over his shoulder disappear in the distance. “Don’t go…” she whispered. 

She stood in place, too nervous to move until she noticed that everyone else had already left. She was on her own now. Taking a deep breath, she squeezed her plushie tight and stepped through the gate. Proceeding straight forward, it wasn’t long before she found herself in the school’s main courtyard. It wasn’t especially large but because she had never been to a school before, to her it was practically gargantuan. Art pieces, ranging from murals, to wall paintings, and even sculptures were displayed throughout the courtyard, no doubt made by previous graduates of the Academy. It made the area look refined and sophisticated, yet the brick exterior of the buildings lent the Academy an almost urban, retro kind of feel.

There were children dotted around the area, some in groups, some sitting on the benches and chatting with each other, and some simply on their own. Inklings and other forms of sea life like Jellyfish were excitedly making friends as they waited for the school day to officially start. The lone Inkling girl closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. Look strong, feel strong.

Squaring her shoulders, she put on a painfully wide smile as she approached a Jellyfish sitting on a bench, sipping on a juice box. “H-Hi!” She stuttered. “I’m new here, wanna be friends?”

The Jellyfish looked at her and shook his head slowly. “Sorry, I’m actually waiting for my friend.”

“O-Oh, okay. Sorry,” the young girl mumbled, dejected. “I didn’t mean to bother you.” She turned and walked away, biting her lip. Look strong, feel strong, she reminded herself again.

Having been shot down on her first try, she found it difficult to approach anybody else. Whenever she would gather the courage to walk up to someone and introduce herself, they would more often than not ignore or dismiss her. As time passed, it seemed that all the others had already congregated into small friend groups. It wasn’t long before she found out that she was only one standing on her own.

I have to talk to someone , she thought. If she couldn’t make a friend now, it would have been extraordinarily difficult, even impossible, to do so later. She would be devastated if she had to come home and tell her father that her first day in school was terrible. She scanned the area and her eyes landed on a trio of female Inklings dressed in fashionable clothing, sitting on a railing. One of the Inklings made a comment and the other two laughed loudly. Growing desperate, she approached them and smiled widely.

“H-Hi there. I’m new here and you looked like you’re having a lot of fun so I was wondering if we could be friends?”

The three immediately ceased their conversation and looked at the young girl standing in front of them. One of the Inklings, wearing a black sweater and skirt raised her eyes skeptically. “Um, and who are you again?”

“O-Oh, sorry. I forgot to tell you my name. It’s R-”

“Don’t really care,” she said, rolling her eyes as her friends giggled. “Listen, what makes you think we want you to hang out with us? ”

The young girl’s eyes widened as she took a shaky step back. “I-I’m sorry,” she squeaked. “I-I just wanted to-”

“What’s with her clothes?” The girl on the right guffawed. “Did you, like, fish that out of the dumpster or something? I think I saw a hobo wearing something like that on the car ride here.”

“Ugh, and that backpack. It looks like it’ll fall apart if you blow on it too hard.” The girl on the left mockingly puffed air at the young girl who flinched.

The lead girl hopped off the rail and approached her, grinning with amusement. “And, oh my cod, is that a stuffie you’re holding? You actually brought your stuffed toy to school?” She turned to her cohorts with an incredulous look on her face and burst out laughing, her friends following suit.

The young girl squeezed her animal toy tightly, tears welling in her eyes. I didn’t even want to be here. Why do you have to be so mean? She was about to turn and walk away when a high-pitched voice yelled.

“HEY! Leave her alone!” In the distance, another Inkling girl with long, yellow tentacles that reached down to her waist was watching the scene. She had her hands on her hips as she glared at the trio. Stomping over, she stood in front of the young girl on the verge of crying and held her arms out in protection.

The lead bully crossed her arms and sniffed disdainfully. “Um, why are you sticking up for this dork? Better yet, why don’t you mind your own business?” Her two cronies nodded quickly beside her.

“It became my business when you started bullying her” she retorted. “This girl just wanted to make friends!”

“So? It’s not our fault she thinks she can just talk to us even though she looks like she’s homeless.”

The yellow-tentacled Inkling narrowed her eyes. “And you think that’s a good reason to make fun of someone? You’re, like, really pathetic.” Turning away from her, she put an arm around the girl, who was bent over and sobbing quietly. “Hey, let’s go. It’s okay.” She whispered words of reassurance as she guided her away from them and towards a shaded area of the yard.

The lead bully stared after them furiously but otherwise made no move to reply. Her friend to her left raised an eyebrow. “Hey, Shelly, why didn’t you say anything to that loser? She looked just as poor as the other one.”

“Because I know who she is,” Shelly hissed. “She was at one of the dinner parties my parents got invited to.”

“What?” Her friend asked incredulously. “Aren’t your parents, like, super rich or something? Why was she there?”

“Doesn’t matter! All I know is, she’s made an enemy of me, and I’m gonna make her pay” She glared at the girl holding the stuffed toy being walked away. “Her friend too.”

The young girl sniffed as she sat down and wiped her nose. She clutched her stuffed cat close to her chest and hugged it tightly. At that moment she wanted nothing more for her father to come back and take her away from this place.

“It’s okay,” her mysterious rescuer said. “They were just being jerks. Most squids aren’t like that. I know you just were just trying to make friends.  I, um, saw you trying earlier.”

The young girls’ ears burned in embarrassment as she realized that someone had watched her completely fail at making conversation with others.

“If you want, I could be your friend.” She scratched the back of her head and smiled sheepishly. “I’m new here too and I don’t know anybody.”

The young girl looked at her and sniffled. “R-Really? You want to be my friend?”

“Yeah! Totally!” She replied enthusiastically. “I’m Alice, by the way. Nice to meet you!” She held out her hand.

The young girl slowly smiled and shook it. “M-My name’s Rain. It’s nice to meet you too.”

…

“Four came to your defense?” Eight asked. “That was very noble of her.”

“Noble,” Three repeated, snorting. “Yeah, that’s probably what she’d call it too.”

Outside, the faint sound of Four’s muffled voice could be heard, as she whined on the phone to Marie.

Eight idly twirled one of her tentacles. “It is surprising to learn that you were once a timid child. It is quite unlike you now.”

“Damn right it ain’t like me now,” Three said. “I’d love to be able to go back in time and have a go at those three bitches now. I’d send them crying to their mommies.” She chuckled deviously as Eight looked at her with concern.

Three noticed her gaze and sighed. “But, uh, yeah, that’s how Four and I met, way before the Splatoon. She stood up for me.”

Eight was happy to hear that, at the very least, their first encounter was a positive one. With how their relationship was now, she half-expected them to have been mortal enemies from the very start. The Octoling pulled her knees closer, smiling. “As an aside, I am glad to finally know your real name, Three. It is strange, but It makes me feel that I have grown closer to you.”

Three turned away and mumbled, her ears turning red. “Yeah, whatever, just don’t go sayin’ it to the others. Anyways, there’s more to this story so listen up.”

Eight nodded. “Please continue.”

....

A few minutes after the two had exchanged greetings, there was a loud bang from one of the entrances of the courtyard - the unmistakable sound of doors being flung open. A hush fell among the children as booming footsteps shook the area, shaking the art pieces with every step. Rain shivered and pulled her stuffed toy closer as Alice stood up to try and get a better view of what was happening.

From the main Academy building emerged a behemoth of a lobster, walking on two legs as thick as tree trunks as his gigantic tail was raised behind him. He was donned in a striking and well-fitting suit and wore a pair of Rockenberg 18K Aviator sunglasses. The children froze as he stopped in the middle of the yard, everyone too scared to do anything more than breathe. He raised one claw, and without saying a word, beckoned to form up in front of him. The children were quick to understand the message and gathered up, forming a loose and disheveled mass in front of him. He held his claws behind his back and stared down at them. 

For a long moment, there was total silence until one particularly brave Inkling child spoke up. To Rain’s horror, she recognized the voice came from Alice, who was standing right beside her.

“Um, are you the Headmaster?”

The lobster turned to her, which made her flinch unconsciously. He shook his head ever so slightly as a high-pitched voice replied. “Haha, a good guess, but no. This is Shellback, my most trusted aid. My name is Headmaster Shore and I am the head of this most wonderful academy.” 

Everyone looked around in confusion, unsure of where the voice was coming from. With a slow and deliberate motion, Shellback lifted his claw and pointed upwards at his head where a small, silver clam sporting a monocle and top hat sat. “Well hello children,” he cheerfully greeted.

“ You’re the Headmaster?” Shelly asked. “You’re super tiny!”

“Why, yes I am! But I fail to see what my size has to do with my capability to lead this Academy. You are small yourself, yet I do not disparage you for your size. Indeed, all I see in the crowd in front of me is untapped potential.”

“Gesture with your arms, if you please Shellback,” Shore whispered. The lobster nodded and held out both claws to the side, addressing the entire crowd.

Clearing his throat, Shore proudly announced, “I would like to formally welcome all of you to Inkblot Academy. As Inkopolis’ first and only private educational facility, we expect that you all follow Inkblot’s creed and code of conduct. I’m quite sure your parents have briefed on these, but I would like to add an addendum that was not included in your welcoming packages. As you all may or may not know, we have lowered our tuition requirements this year, to allow for those struggling financially to acquire a formal education and giving them an opportunity to better themselves. A brilliant move, I must say, and I am very pleased that the motion was approved by the board. What this means for all of you is that we do not discriminate against others based on their social background. We have accepted students from all manner of standing and we expect you to all treat each other with the same respect and dignity that you would treat any of the staff here.”

Alice leaned in and whispered in Rain’s ear, “Ooh, I like this guy.”

“Furthermore, in much the same way that we ask that you respect the staff and each other, we ask that you respect the Academy. This means not only taking care of the premises itself, but to uphold the values and traditions by which we at Inkblot have built our foundation upon, If you follow this, and the rules listed in your welcoming package, there is no doubt in my mind that you will all have a wonderful time here. Now, without further ado, please follow me and you will be sorted to your respective classrooms. Shellback, if you would please.”

The lobster grunted and beckoned the children to follow him inside, which they did, forming a shaky, but functional  line behind him.

Rain stuck close to Alice, not wanting to lose sight of her amongst the crowd. “The Headmaster seems nice,” she said to her. “M-Maybe this place isn’t so bad after all.”

Alice smirked and put an arm around Rain, who squeaked at the contact. “Yeah, I think we’re gonna have a fun few years here, don’tcha think?”

As they stepped inside, Rain marvelled at how everything looked. It was just as she had read about in books or seen on TV. Lockers lined the walls of the hallways, which were wide enough to accommodate at least five Inklings standing arms apart. Pictures of past graduating classes were hung on the walls, and trophies secured behind glass cases were proudly displayed.

Shellback led the group into the gymnasium where the children were split into one of two classes. Much to her delight, Rain was assigned to the same class as Alice. Unfortunately, it seemed like they would also be sharing the class with the three Inklings who had bullied her earlier. Still, the Headmaster’s earlier speech about everyone being treated equally had put her at ease and she was getting excited to officially start class.

It only took half an hour for everyone to be sorted. Once that was done, Headmaster Shore approached a podium in the gymnasium atop Shellback. "Ahem, now that everyone knows where they belong, the teachers’ assistants will now be handing out your official Inkblot Academy uniforms. They are appropriately sized to you, based on the measurements your parents sent in during your application. You will be given several sets and you will be expected to wear them to class every day, starting tomorrow.”

Rain couldn’t help but smile with glee. She wasn’t expecting there to be a dress code, and she had no idea the Academy would be providing clothes. Not only would this solve the problem of trying to fit in with her less-than-stellar wardrobe, but it would also help ease the burden on her father’s financial struggle.

“And that’s not all,” Shellback continued. “They will also be handing out commemorative Inkblot Academy lapel pins celebrating your first day of school.” To demonstrate his point, Shellback held one such pin in the air for all to see. ”Keep these close to you, because you are expected to present them on graduation day, several years from now. When that fateful day finally arrives, it is my hope that  you will be able to look fondly upon them and remember this moment. Your very first step to higher learning!"

As one of the teacher assistants passed by and handed her the small bronze pin, Rain stared at it in awe. Inkblot Academy, she read the name aloud in her head. She proudly clutched it in her fist and beamed with pride. She was officially a student of this school, and she had a strong feeling she was in for an amazing time, with unforgettable experiences and even fonder memories. And at the end of it all, as Headmaster Shore had said, she would be able to look back at her time here and how with her newly acquired skills and knowledge, she would have been well equipped to take on the world.

…

“Yeah, so I was fucking wrong.”

Eight looked shocked. “I am sure you must have at least had some good memories of your time there.”

“I really didn’t. Turns out being homeschooled all your life doesn't prepare you for the real thing."

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you know, it just was a little hard for me to pick things up.” Three scratched her cheek and frowned, 

Eight blinked. “You were unable to physically carry objects because of your educational background? That is most perplexing.”

“No! That’s not what I meant. It’s just, I wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed back then, alright?”

“...I see,” Eight said after some hesitation.

Three stared at her. “You have no idea what that means, do you?”

“...”

“...”

“What is a shed?”

“Grraaggh!” The exasperated Inkling threw her arms up in frustration, unsure of why she was even trying. 

“Look, I was dumb, okay?! Stupid, an idiot, whatever the shell you wanna call it. I did real bad in class. I couldn’t understand half the shit they were trying to teach me.” Her face was burning from anger and embarrassment. “And it’s not like I wasn’t trying,” she added. “I actually stayed inside to study over recess.”

This surprised Eight. To hear that Three struggled so much academically didn’t make sense to her. On the battlefield, Three was a tactical genius, able to dictate the flow of battle and make decisions on the fly that would more often than not secure victory. “But what of Four? Did she also struggle in her studies?”

“She had some of the highest grades in class,” Three spat. “And I don’t even know why, I swear to cod I’d never seen her open a book. Shit, even now I think all she reads are those trashy fashion mags.”

“But if she was performing so well, she must have offered to assist you, given your close relationship.”

Three’s face twisted in disgust. “Don’t even get me started. It was 'cuz of her I failed in the first place!”

…

“Hey. Hey, Rain.” Alice kneeled down by Rain’s desk, watching her friend crinkle her nose as she scribbled notes on a sheet of paper. Rain seemed to be struggling especially hard with today’s topic - multiplication involving fractions - so she had elected to stay inside during recess to review her notes.

Rain glanced up from work and turned to Alice who had an expectant look on her face. “Hi, Alice.”

“You wanna go outside and plaaaay? It’s recess right now, we should be playing games and going on adventures!” She frowned. “Not, you know, doing this stuff.”

“I-I can’t,” Rain mumbled. “I don’t really get this part at all and I think I’m falling behind…”

“But can’t you do that at home? I really wanna spend time with you and we never see each other after school.” She neglected to mention the fact that the two spent the majority of their time in the Academy practically glued to each other’s side. In the months since the school year started, she and Alice grew close and did everything together. From school projects to gym class, the two paired up with each other whenever they got a chance. Alice even managed to convince the teacher to let them sit beside each other, arguing that “she couldn’t see from her seat”, despite the fact that she was sitting in the front row and Rain was sitting at the very back.

Much to Rain’s surprise, the teacher relented, asking where she would have liked to sit instead. Alice had, of course, chosen to sit beside her.

“C’mon, pleeeaaaase?” Alice’s pleaded once more. She looked up with big, sad eyes, her bottom lip quivering ever so slightly. Rain knew this look all too well. Whenever she wanted to stay inside to study, Alice would always try - in most cases, successfully so - to convince her to do it another time.

But this time, she really needed to stay inside and study. She had been asked to stay after school several times by the teacher to discuss alternative learning plans. One of the suggestions he had made was to spend one day a week staying inside reviewing her notes. That plan, of course, was routinely sabotaged by the squid kneeling down next to her desk. She wanted to say no and refuse Alice’s invitations, but she would always bring up the fact that they never saw each other outside of school. A thought started to brew in her mind.

Rain tapped her pencil on her desk. “U-um, okay. I’ll go outside and play.”

“YES!” Alice stood up quickly, her long tentacles bobbing in the air.

“On one condition.”

“Anything! Name it.”

“I want to go to your house after school today." She smiled coyly. If Alice always complained about never having enough time together outside, surely this would fix that problem. Additionally, there was another reason why she wanted to go to her house. Alice never talked much about her family and other than the fact that she was an only child, she knew next to nothing about them. 

Alice's face fell at the suggestion, which made gulp nervously. Was it really such a bad idea?

"I-I don't know, I'd have to ask my dad first and… stuff…”

“Oh,” Rain said in disappointment. “Okay. Don’t worry about it, Alice. I-It was a dumb idea anyways.”

Alice bit her lip and twiddled with her fingers nervously, debating something in her head. She looked at Rain and asked, “Rain, we’re friends, right?”

Rain blinked in confusion. “Y-Yeah. Of course we are.”

“Best friends? BFFs?”

“If that’s what you want…”

“And we’ll be super BFFs forever and ever till we die, right?”

“O-Okay.” Rain didn’t want to say anything, but she was extremely happy Alice thought so highly of their friendship. A small part of her was always a little scared Alice didn’t think they were really friends.

Alice inhaled deeply. “Okay then." She nodded and beamed. "You can come over."

The sudden change in attitude caught Rain off guard. "Oh… um, great! Thanks..."

"No problemo, squiddo!" Alice grabbed her best friend's arm and yanked her out of her seat. "Now c'mooon, I wanna try playing pirates and search for hidden treasure in the playground. I call being the Captain!"

Rain giggled. There's no helping it, I guess. "Okay. Let's go treasure hunting."

...

As the school bell rang, signalling the end of another day, the pair of best friends were walking back together as they had always done. They had reached a fork in the road where, normally, the two would say their goodbyes and parted ways. This time, however, they were now heading in the same direction towards Alice’s house. Rain was obviously very excited about the visit, while Alice seemed to be getting more and more nervous as time went on.

“Are you okay?” Rain asked in concern. “You look like you’re gonna faint.”

‘Fine! I’m fine!” Alice quickly replied. “We’re, um, getting close now.”

Rain took a look around her. She didn’t know exactly when, but the scenery around them had changed drastically. The street they were walking by had widened out and looked better maintained than she had ever seen before. In fact at some point, the sidewalk they were walking on had changed from concrete to cobblestone. 

The houses in the area were also a sight to see - the neighbourhood looked like something she saw on TV, with fancy villas lining down the stretch of road and each with their own immaculately kept yards, the grass coloured a beautiful emerald green and flowers of all sorts arranged by the sides. She didn’t even know places like this existed in Inkopolis. She slowed down and glanced around nervously.

“U-Um… are we in the right place? Everything looks so… fancy.”

Alice didn’t respond and kept marching forward, nervously clamping down on the handles of her backpack until her knuckles went white. When Rain realized her friend wasn’t answering, she picked up her pace to catch up. After ten minutes of walking in silence, she finally spoke up.”

“Alice, please just say something.”

“We’re here,” she said, stopping in front of a particularly large and ornate silver gate.

“O-Oh, yay. I’m really excited to finally see your-” She gasped as her eyes focused on Alice’s house. Although, looking at it now, using the word ‘house’ would have been an understatement. The building behind the gates was nothing short of a palace. It had to have been three stories tall, at least, and she could even see it was taller than the palm trees planted in front of it. Tall white columns supported the front of the structure, giving it a regal and majestic air.

Rain was at a loss for words. She had no idea how to react to this. Was it a prank? Some sort of practical joke? It certainly seemed like something Alice would do, and she was sure any moment now she would spring her with a ‘Gotcha!’. But the resigned, slightly panicked look on her friend’s face told her this was for real.

“I say, who goes there?” An elderly, moustached Jellyfish sporting a tuxedo and bowler hat approached the gate from the other side. “ Ah, if it isn’t Mistress Alice. Back from school already? Welcome home, I hope you’ve had a wonderful day.”

Alice rubbed her arm. “Y-Yeah, hey Jellvedere. I’m back. I, uh, brought a friend from school with me.”

The Jellyfish butler squinted his eyes to get a better view. “Oh, marvelous! The Master will be so pleased to hear you’ve finally made a friend at the Academy.” He bowed to Rain, lifting his hat off his head slightly. “Pardon my rudeness, Madam. My name is Jellvedere and I am the head butler of the Squidwell family, a position I have held for many, many years. May I have your name?”

“U-Uh… I-I…” She had trouble getting the words out. No way was this real. She couldn’t believe it. Alice had a butler? How had she not known about this until now?

“Rain,” Alice answered for her. “Her name is Rain. Um, can we just go inside please? I wanna take her to my room.” Right now , please. Rain looks like she’s gonna pass out…

“Of course, Mistress Alice. I shall fetch the cart immediately.” He turned and walked off, leaving the two standing outside.

“You’re… you’re rich,” Rain finally mumbled, after an awkward moment of silence.

“Surprise?” Alice smiled innocently. She sighed when she saw the look on her friend’s face. “I wanted to tell you, I really did! But it’s just that… whenever I tell people I’m rich they start treating me differently. They only wanna talk to me because my family has cash. And, well... I was scared you’d do the same thing.”

“I know you’re probably really mad at me and I’m super sorry but please don’t hate me-”

Rain stopped Alice by placing a hand over her mouth. She shook her head. “It’s okay, Alice. I’m not mad. I mean, I was just surprised. You being rich doesn’t change the fact that we’re best friends.”

“Rmmlly?”

“Of course not. Remember the day we met? You stood up for me when those bullies were teaming up on me. I’ll always remember that, and rich or not I’m always going to be your friend.”

Tears welled up in her friend’s eyes. Alice suddenly rushed forward and wrapped both arms around Rain crying, “Waaaaah! I love you, Rain! Let’s be BFFs forever times a million! No, a bajillion!”

Rain giggled. “Yeah. BFFs forever.”

The pair turned as Jellvedere returned with the cart, honking the horn. Pressing a button on the vehicle’s console, there was a loud buzz at the white gates of the mansion swung inwards. “I have arrived, Mistress Alice and Rain. Please do take a seat, and we shall be off.”

“Why do we need to ride this?” Rain asked as she stepped into the vehicle. “Your house is right there.”

“It's actually farther than it looks, but yeah, I think having to ride this thing is dumb. I keep telling Jellvedere I can just walk but he never lets me.”

As the cart moved forward, it suddenly angled forward as it went down a steep incline that wasn’t visible from the outside. Alice was right about the distance. If they hadn’t taken the cart, it would have taken another 10 minutes for them to reach the front door.

The front “yard” was breathtaking, much like the others Rain had passed by on the way here. The only difference, though, was that this was about five times the size. She caught the eye of several Inklings and Jellyfish who were tending to the grounds and waved at them timidly. She thought back to her own house. It was cramped, a one-bedroom apartment in one of the lower-end neighbourhoods of Inkopolis. She didn't even have a yard, much less a gate or fence. While she never complained about her circumstances - her father was doing everything he could to give her a comfortable life and she was grateful for what she had -  a small part of her still wished she could have something like what Alice had.

Jellvedere pulled up to the mansion entrance, stepped out of the cart, and made a move to help the children out of the vehicle. Before he could do so much as lift his tentacles, Alice grabbed Rain's hand and jumped out, sprinting inside with her panicked friend in tow.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon I wanna show you my room."

Rain squeaked as she was pulled along, past the doors and into the extravagantly decorated entrance lobby. She wanted to take a moment and look around at the amazing architecture surrounding her but Alice yanked her up the carpeted grand staircase, past several twists and turns in the upstairs hallways until finally she was pulled into her room.

“Ow, Alice… you didn’t have to run so hard…” She pulled her hand free and gently massaged it. It had turned red from how hard Alice was gripping it.

“Hehe, sorry, I was just so excited.” She spread her arms and grinned widely. “Welcome to my room! What’cha think?”

Her room, much like the rest of the mansion, was excessively large and spacious. Rain estimated it was bigger than her own room and kitchen combined, and then some. It was decorated much in the same way as the rest of the mansion, with a small crystal chandelier hanging from the roof, and a king-sized bed draped in a flowing silk canopy. However, what struck her as odd were the other aspects of the room, namely the decorations and colour palette. It was pink. Very pink.

“It looks amazing, Alice. It looks like a princess’ room.” If it was physically possible for an Inkling to live on a pink cloud in the sky, she imagined that this room would be the closest you could get. The bed was pink, the dresser was pink, even the walls were pink. A soft white rug covered much of the ground and bright, fluffy curtains covered the window at the far end side of the room. A plethora of stuffed toys sat on the foot of Alice’s bed, each dressed up in cute and frilly outfits. It was totally out of character and not at all what Rain had expected. If anything, she imagined Alice would be more interested in more boyish things.

Alice rubbed her arm and smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. But this was all totally my dad’s idea, I didn’t pick these colours.”

Rain approached the bed and picked up a plushie of an Inkling wearing headphones and a stylish hoodie. “Where did you get these? They look really fresh.” She could tell the make of the clothes were of high quality, definitely not something you could get at a store.

“Oh, I had dad get someone to make those for me after I saw it in a magazine.” Her friend’s eyes sparkled as she explained, “Don’t tell anyone but I’m actually really into clothes and that kind of stuff.”

Rain raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Really? It doesn’t really seem like your kind of-”

“It’s true!” Alice asserted. “I don’t really tell anyone about it ‘cuz it’s kinda embarrassing, you know? You’re, like, the only one I’ve ever told this to. Not even Jellvedere knows about it.”

“I don’t think it’s embarrassing at all,” Rain reassured. “I didn’t think it was something you were into, but if it’s something you really like, nobody should make fun of you for it..”

“Aww, you’re so nice, Rain. I’m gonna be a super big fashion designer someday, just watch. Then I can make a whole bunch of clothes and you can try them on!”

Rain clapped excitedly. “I’ll wear them for sure. You’re gonna get super popular and maybe you’ll be the most famous Inkling in all of Inkopolis.”

The pair squealed happily as they held hands and envisioned what the future would be like for both of them once Alice made it big. However, the sound of someone clearing their throat behind them interrupted their discussion.

A tall, blue-tentacled Inkling with tentacles slicked back stood by the door, having opened it without them even noticing. He wore a black, branded polo shirt, and while Rain wasn’t familiar with the name of the company, even she knew it from an extremely high-end brand. His top was complemented with a pair of brilliantly white pants that looked like it had never been touched by so much as a speck of dirt. A slightly amused smirk rested on his lips.

“I see you two are enjoying yourselves.”

“D-Dad!” Alice frowned and stomped over to him. “I told you to knock before you come in.”

“Ah, silly me. I apologize, but I just heard the commotion and was curious to see what the commotion was all about.” He held his hands behind his back. “I see you’ve made a new friend.”

“So? That’s none of your beeswax!”

His mouth twitched. “That’s quite the… interesting vernacular you’ve picked up, Alice. We shall have to correct that later. Ah, but my apologies, I am a poor host to be ignoring your classmate like this.”  He stepped forward, his long legs reaching Rain in only two strides. He offered his hand. “Good day to you. My name is George Squidwell. I am Alice’s father, if you’ve not yet surmised.”

Rain hesitantly shook his hand. He was smiling at her, but she was still nervous. There was an air of intimidation around him that she didn’t like, and his eyes seemed to be studying her every movement.. “N-Nice to meet you, sir. My name is Rain.”

“Sir? Ah, no need to be so formal with me, dear. You can simply call me Mr. Squidwell.”

“O-Okay,” she gulped.

“So, how did you two meet? Alice never deigns to share her stories from the Academy with me, and alas, I am kept out of the dark on most of her affairs.”

“That’s ‘cuz you’re so annoying about it, Dad!”

“U-Um,” Rain stammered. “She saved from bullies on the f-first day of school.”

“Hah! She did, did she? ” Mr. Squidwell patted his daughter on the head, which made her huff. “Well done, Alice. I see you’ve inherited your mother’s strong sense of justice.”

He looked at Rain. “Ah, if I may be so bold, may I ask as to the sort of profession your parents are involved in? To have been able to enroll you in Inkblot Academy, they must be quite prominent in their fields.”

“Daaad!”

“I don’t have a mom anymore,” Rain mumbled. “Sh-She died when I was young.”

Mr. Squidwell shook his head sympathetically. “I’m terribly sorry to hear that.”

“B-But my dad’s a super hard worker!” She was quick to add. “He helps make super pretty buildings!”

He nodded appreciatively, his blue eyes sparkling with interest. “Does he? A real estate magnate or a proprietor of commercial buildings, I assume.”

Rain scratched her head. “U-Um, I’m not really sure what those mean but I don’t think that sounds right.”

“Hm. Then he is an architect or an engineer of some sort? It is still a respectable career, no doubt backed by years of schooling.”

“No,” Rain said, shaking her head. “He makes the buildings. He wears a vest and orange hat and works with a bunch of other squids to help… m-make it…” She trailed off as she noticed a frown starting to form on his face.

“Ah. I see.” He pulled his arm in front of his face and took a look at his watch. “Well then, I’m afraid I must be going. I have several teleconference meetings I must attend soon. You two enjoy yourselves.”

He turned and walked towards the door. As he was about to exit, he turned his head sideways and said, “Alice, I must speak to you after dinner tonight. I expect you to be there.” Without another word, he left the room and closed the door behind him.

“D-Did I say something wrong?” Rain whimpered.

“Forget it,” Alice waved her hand dismissively. “It’s probably just something dumb. But anyways, I wanna show you something else really fresh. Have you ever played any video games before?”

…

“Four never mentioned she lived in such a place before,” Eight said thoughtfully. “I believe she lives in an apartment complex on the east side of Inkopolis right now. I wonder why she is still not living in the mansion?”

Three shrugged. “Shell if I know. But, man, her place was loaded. Makes Pearl and Marina’s place look like a shack in comparison.”

“Did you visit often?”

“Maybe a couple times a week. But it wasn’t easy. Surprise, surprise, turns out her dad was  a massive prick. When he found out my dad was a construction worker, he told Four I wasn’t allowed to come over anymore. Something about not wanting her to ‘associate with commoners’,” she spat. “Typical rich douchebag, you know the type.”

Eight frowned. “I do not think that is not a good reason to prevent two individuals who are friends from being able to interact with each other.” She paused. “But if you were barred entry, how were you still able to visit?”

Three chuckled. “Well, here’s the funny thing. Four got super pissed at her dad when he told her I couldn’t come over anymore so she showed me a secret entrance in the back corner of the yard. Turns out there was a little hole in the fence there, covered by a bunch of shrubs. You couldn’t really see it if you walked by, and you couldn’t really fit in there unless you went squid form, but nobody else knew about it, even the staff. So me and Four would just hang out in her room in secret, making sure we kept our voices down. ‘Course, shit got tense whenever we’d hear someone coming but I never got caught.

“I am glad to hear that,” Eight said. “So you were still friends throughout your time in the Academy?”

“Yep. All the way to graduation.”

“But… something must have happened to cause the rift between you two. If you were as close as you said, there must have been a reason for your relationship with her as it is now.”

Three grew silent and stared at the empty white wall in front of her. “...It happened in the last year of Academy, ‘bout three years after we met.”

Eight nodded. “What happened?”

Three’s expression turned dark and she slowly turned to Eight. She stared at her with cold eyes, her body trembling with anger. The Octoling shuddered as Three answered, her voice trembling with a hatred she had heard only once before, when the three of them had gone shopping for clothes.

“That year,” she hissed. “She ruined my life.”