Chapter Text
A shiver of pure unadulterated rage slowly made its way up her spine as she stared coldly at the black-leather clad form of their nemesis. She was too embittered by anger to feel the appropriate amount of fear she should – if any at all. Icy azure eyes followed the man as he postured and pranced before her family where they’d been forced to their knees in the dirt. A fruitless bid to save what was left of their people at the Hilltop, to stop the killing. A willing sacrifice.
His cartoonish demeanor would never instill fear in her, however; Carol knew the face of true monsters … her own included. Her loved ones would argue that fact, but there was no denying who’d she’d become to survive the new world. She’d adapted, evolved, as she would continue to do until she last drew breath. Which would be soon if the bat-wielding psychopath had anything to say about it.
Negan couldn’t appear weak before his followers, and Rick had made a fool of him more than once. Hell, he was practically making a hobby out of it. An example had to be set. One would forfeit their head to Lucille while the others were gunned down with freshly made bullets courtesy of Eugene. Carol wondered briefly how the odd little man could stand to look himself in the mirror, the turncoat.
She felt Daryl shift to her right as the bat inched a little too close for comfort in her direction, heard the feral growl rumble low in his throat. Her hand snaked out, fingers curling around his wrist, feeling out the rapid beat of his pulse. He shot her a side-eyed glance, stilling when she held onto him, willingly allowing her to stay his hand. There would be no hot-headed loss of temper this night.
Carol waited until Negan’s pacing brought him past them, his focus on Rick to her left before she turned her head fully to catch Daryl’s eye. She knew it was dangerous to outright ignore the madman wishing to end them all, but she’d rather spend her last moments lost in her love’s eyes than catering to Negan’s whims.
They’d fought so hard for so long against a common enemy – too many - against the dead … against themselves and their fears. Carol had lost herself countless times, and Daryl had always found her, saved her – most times from herself and the demons she carried – reminding her of who she was and who she wanted to be. They belonged to one another, two halves of the same whole. And now as she prepared herself for that killing blow, she couldn’t help but wonder if he would find her again … even in death.
“Well ain’t this sweet,” Negan chortled, dropping a knee before the pair and giving a deliberate poke at Carol’s hand - wrapped vise-like around Daryl’s wrist - with Lucille. “Simon, would you look at this shit?! This whole time, Daryl here had himself a woman.” He ignored the sound of gnashing teeth from the redneck and turned his attention to Carol. “And just where’ve you been hiding yourself, darlin’?”
Carol felt Daryl turn his hand, sliding his fingers between hers, his grip tight, desperation warring within him to protect her from the man who held them captive.
Negan’s hand shot out and grasped one of the straps holding the armored plate securely to her chest and pulled her roughly to her feet, forcing her to release Daryl’s hand.
“NO!” the hunter growled, ready to spring up from his knees to drag her back to his side.
Rick dove at him, wrapping his arms around Daryl’s chest before any of Negan’s henchmen could come forward to subdue him. “Wait, brother,” he cautioned, hissing the words urgently into his ear as he struggled to hold him back. “Don’t give him a reason to kill her.”
Carol’s eyes were bitterly cold as they met Negan’s, her voice steady as she spoke. “Don’t hurt him … please.”
He flashed her a shark-like grin, all teeth and what he confidently thought was charm. “Well, see there, darling … I don’t wanna hurt him. I wanted him to be one o’ mine.” He leaned in further, his warm breath ghosting over the shell of her ear as he looked at the redneck over her shoulder. “But he just had to be difficult. He could’ve been a lieutenant, for fuck’s sake. I could use that kind of loyalty … but he just wouldn’t play ball.”
She jerked her head to the side when he brought the bat up between them and trailed the wire of one barb over the curve of her jaw. His smile slipped and his hand whipped up to grip the curling strands of hair at her nape, jerking her head back roughly.
“Seems I just didn’t have the right … incentive … to get him to fall in line. And you’re something of a legend around the sanctuary; did you know that?” He looked out over the group waiting anxiously on their knees and his grin widened. “At least once a week somebody would come through the factory telling anyone who would listen about the silver-haired bitch who moved like a wraith just waiting to take out more of our people. That you, sweetheart? Are you their queen?” He turned her around to face the group and pressed his cheek to hers, his chin resting on her shoulder.
“We’re at war,” she said calmly. “There’s bound to be casualties on both sides.”
Carol tuned him out as he called out his gloating monologue to his men, her eyes locking with Daryl’s. Despite the pain and terror which seemed to radiate from his every pore, she couldn’t bear to look away. She knew how this was going to end, the inevitability was evident in every syllable dripping from the lunatic’s tongue. There would be no escape. Her nine lives were up. He still struggled against the vise-like grip Rick had on him, but he wouldn’t be able to save her this time. She could only hope when it was over, her beloved Dixon would find the strength to walk away. There was no doubt in her mind he would survive.
She sucked in a sharp breath as Negan tossed his prized bat to his second in command and withdrew the knife from the sheath on his belt, pressing the cold steel to the side of her throat. His chest rumbled with laughter against her back, but her quick mind refused to find a solution to her current dilemma. Each avenue of escape would result in the same end. She would die.
“Nothing to say, darling? No last words?”
Carol stiffened her spine and braced herself. The sharp edge of the blade stung as it dug into her flesh, but she barely felt it as adrenaline rushed through her veins, her heart threatening to beat from her chest. “Not for you.”
Jesus had joined Rick in his battle to subdue Daryl, the two men practically laying atop the hunter. Feral growls spilled from his lips in a torrent, nails gouging trenches into the dirt as he fought to get to her.
“Too bad it had to end this way. You and the redneck would’ve been such an asset to me, but … no exceptions.”
She didn’t feel the killing blow, the knife bearing down hard against her neck against her carotid artery. Her vision swam with tears as she watched Rick let go of Daryl and sit back on his heels in defeat, and Jesus fall face first into the dirt as the hunter crawled to her side. His tears splashed over her face, catching on her nose, her lips, as he pressed his fingers to the side of her neck to stop the bleeding.
“No … stay with me, Carol … please. Y’ cain’t leave me,” he cried as she fought to raise her hand to cradle his beloved face. One last touch before she let the cloying darkness lingering at her vision drag her down into oblivion.
“I love you, Daryl.”
He collapsed against her, his face buried in the crook of her neck as he gave into a wretched sob, his wails of fury, heartbreak and soul-deep despair ringing through the clearing.
“For fuck’s sake, would someone please shut him up!”
The sound of a gunshot was the last thing she heard.
*.*.*
“You cheated!”
The darkness giggled, a shrill childish sound which set her teeth on edge. “You know I didn’t. It’s not allowed as you’ll recall the terms of our deal the grand pompous superiors laid down on us.”
The light – angel, for want of a better description – snorted as she tossed her long chestnut curls and crossed her arms petulantly over her chest. “It’s not fair,” she murmured softly, her eyes searching his amidst the torchlight barely illuminating the dark cavern where they’d been sent to play their game. For what else could it be called?
The demon flourished an elegant green-gold hand at the wall to remove the images, leaving the surface blank and unblemished before he threw his leg over the arm of the throne-like chair upon which he sat and sighed. “What’s so unfair, dearie? They have free will and are allowed to make their own choices despite what obstacles I might throw in their path.” He pointed one blackened claw in her direction. “And you’ve done your admirable best to help them along the way. I dare you to deny it.”
She wiped surreptitiously at the moisture gathering on her lashes and ducked her head to conceal the anger pooling in her cerulean eyes. It was against her nature to feel such emotion, but she’d watched the survivors fail too many times since she’d taken this assignment not to feel something. Punishment was more like it.
“Doesn’t it sadden you even a little to see this happen to them over and over? Their pain, their sorrow, their struggle? How can you not –“
He rose slowly from his perch and approached her, his amber gaze troubled as it met hers, a finger beneath her chin lifting her head. He knew pain; he’d been human once, after all. But after centuries of dwelling in the darkness, he’d all but forgotten the softer emotions she invoked in him. “It is not our place to feel ... anything.”
“Why … why have the gods forsaken them and their world? Why would they do this?”
He sighed. “It is one insignificant little world, dearie, compared to thousands. Perhaps they simply want to wipe the slate clean so they might begin anew.”
“Then why leave this to us?” she asked, searching his face for some sign that he was as tired of the game as she. “What will happen if good wins?”
He shook his head. “It’s time you realized good cannot win in this situation. The few against the many … and that’s discounting the creepy crawlies trying to eat them around every corner.”
“And I say it can!” she insisted, stamping her dainty little foot.
He smiled indulgently and took her hand, leading her back to her seat before an ornate chessboard. “As much as I would give to see myself proven wrong - for your sake – I’m afraid it’s impossible.”
Her shoulders stiffened indignantly as she sat forward to move a pawn into position. The beginning of a new game she was hesitant to start. Instead of choosing the square for the piece of chiseled white ivory, she clasped it tightly against her palm. “There is a way.”
He raised a brow, a sinister smirk curling the corner of his mouth. “Do tell, dearie.”
Her smile was chilling for one who was supposed to be so pure. A shiver of pleasure traced his spine. Perhaps he was finally beginning to corrupt her. “I think it’s time we changed the rules.”
His lips parted in surprise at her bold suggestion. “Hypothetically speaking – because anything more would have us both tossed out on our butts – what do you propose?”
She toyed with the pawn in her hand, her brow furrowing. “We’ve watched them make the same mistakes, trust the wrong people, wander the wrong path and fight against their own good sense. I want to forewarn them.”
“You want them to remember. That, my dear, is cheating.”
“Only two … not all of them,” she reasoned, her eyes alight with excitement at his seeming willingness to listen.
He, too, picked up a pawn from the board and rolled it between his hands. “The hunter and the housewife? Your pets.”
A rosy blush flooded her cheeks as one shoulder lifted in a shrug. “I’m more invested in them than the others. Two damaged souls who found one another, each the only hope of healing the other. They tug at my heart. Aren’t you tired of seeing them fail?”
He couldn’t care less about the humans. He was weary of seeing his little angel dragged down by their failures. “This will not end well, dearie. We will be cast out, no longer immortal. They will send us down there to share the same fate as those with whom we toy. Is that what you want? You would give up your halo?”
She reached out a hand to him, her warm fingers caressing the mottled flesh over his knuckles in a tender caress. “We would be together. We could have a single mortal life and help rebuild this forgotten world. Would that really be so terrible?” Her words pierced his chest more sharply than the finest blade, hope unfurling in his chest that she could love him as she did her hapless charges. “They deserve one more chance.”
“But do we?”
“Whether we do or not … I want to try.”
He twisted his hand in hers, clasping her fingers as she moved to place her pawn upon the chessboard, the wall coming to life with the view of the housewife waking to a new day.
“I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“Trust me.”
*.*.*
“Mom! We’re out of toaster strudel!! Again!” The girl’s voice paused, her ears pricking as she concentrated, waiting for a response from her mother. “Mommmmm!”
Bleary, tear-bright blue eyes snapped open, a scream barely stifled on her lips as Carol jerked upright in bed, her gaze frantically sweeping her surroundings. Instead of the panic abating at the sight of her familiar bedroom furniture, it only increased. A hand fumbled shakily at her throat, the ghost of a knife cutting through her flesh still fresh in her mind.
She could still feel Daryl’s tears on her face, the sound of his heartbroken sobs loud in her ears and she could still see the weight of his pain burning in his eyes. Oh, god! Where’s Daryl … where are the others … my family? She couldn’t have dreamed it all, right? Carol knew she wasn’t crazy!
Hurried footsteps sounded on the stairs, but they weren’t the heavy tread she’d come to fear from her husband. She barely had time to brace herself as her daughter came bounding into the room to flop face down on the bed next to her, a melodramatic groan rumbling against the duvet.
“Mom, I’m starving and we’re out of toaster strudel!” Sophia lamented as she flipped over onto her back and threw an arm over her eyes.
The breath hitched in Carol’s throat as she hesitantly reached out to her baby girl, a sob forcing its way past her parched lips as her fingers carded through silky golden locks. “S-Sophia?”
The girl gave up on her drama and leaned up to study her mother’s shaken expression, worry knitting her brow. “Mom, are you ok? You look like you’re gonna be sick or something.”
Carol swallowed convulsively, choking back the emotion threatening to constrict her air passages, and pulled her child into the safety of her embrace. “N-No … I’m fine, I just … you were saying something about breakfast pastries? Are there no pop tarts?” she asked, trying to even out her tone so as not to scare her.
“Mom,” Sophia huffed a long-suffering sigh and gave her a look. “You don’t allow me to eat those. You said they’re full of sugar and cornstarch something or other.”
“High fructose corn syrup,” the correction came naturally to her lips. She grinned, remembering the many times Sophia had tried to sneak a box into the shopping cart and the ensuing argument. “How about bacon and eggs instead?”
“Scrambled with cheese?” she bit out hopefully, her hands folded prayer-like beneath her chin.
Carol grinned. “Give me a few minutes to get a shower and pull myself together and I’ll be down to fix us something to eat, ok?”
“Deal!”
Sophia bounded off the bed and down the stairs before her mother could change her mind and in only moments, Carol could hear what sounded like Saturday morning cartoons coming from the den.
She pulled herself out of bed and rummaged through the chest of drawers, looking for clean clothes and frowning at the pair of capri pants and frumpy t-shirt she’d chosen. She had to snap out of whatever fugue the dream had caused her before she lost her mind. She’d promised herself she’d buy herself a new wardrobe after Ed had died just after New Year’s, but she hadn’t gotten around to it yet.
She froze as she adjusted the temperature of the spray, a blast of heat hitting the back of her neck as she leaned her head forward against the cool tiles. No, that can’t be right! Ed was at the quarry! Another wave of images of her husband’s mangled, half-eaten corpse flooded her mind. She could still feel the weight of the pick axe in her hand as she’d hefted it up into the air to drive it into his skull. But he couldn’t have been at the quarry if he’d died in a car accident six months ago. Shit, maybe I am going crazy!
How then could she explain the vivid detail of her dream. It didn’t feel as if it were merely a nightmare. It felt real. Lori … Rick … Glenn … Maggie … Michonne … Hershel … Merle … Daryl. She couldn’t have dreamed up Daryl Dixon even in her wildest imaginings. Her skin felt raw by the time she finished scrubbing herself beneath the hot spray, feeling as if it had been forever since she’d been able to partake in such a luxury. All the while, she’d searched her memory of every detail she could remember about the outbreak and the subsequent events … leading up to the night of her demise.
Carol refused to believe it had been a dream, therefore, she needed to find tangible proof to the contrary. Drying and dressing hurriedly, she rushed down the stairs, pasting a happy smile on her lips as Sofia joined her in the kitchen.
Her daughter chattered endlessly about the sleepover she was to have that night with her friend Julie, but Carol was only listening with half an ear as she cracked open several eggs into a bowl and whisked them with a dash of salt and pepper before adding some cheddar and Monterey jack cheese. Setting it aside, she turned the oven on and arranged strips of bacon onto a cookie sheet.
Carol poured her daughter a glass of juice and set it before her as her eyes fell onto the newspaper sitting innocuously on the table, silently thanking her daughter for bringing it in that morning. Her brow furrowed, her eyes scanning the date … June 12th, 2010. If her memory wasn’t faulty, the first stirrings of news of the virus hadn’t begun until the last week of June, and the evacuation centers had opened within the last two weeks of August. She still had time.
Time for what, though? her inner voice mused with a note of hysteria.
If it had all been a dream, was it some higher being trying to warn her for what was to come? Should she begin preparing for the apocalypse? With the money she’d collected from Ed’s life insurance policy, she could do so much to help her group. And if she’d been warned, had anyone else? Had Daryl?
“Mom … bacon!” Sophia screeched, pointing at the stove and shoving a dish towel at her mother.
“Crap!” Carol flung the door open and stared at the remains of what had once been their breakfast. She sighed. “Well, kiddo, how about we go out to eat and then I drop you at Julie’s?”
“Really?” Sophia asked, her eyes widening. “Cool!”
As much as she wanted to cling to her baby girl and simply give in to the emotions strangling her, Carol needed time to think … and to plan. “Sure, baby. But tomorrow, I’m picking you up early and we’re going to spend the day together. I think it’s about time we went shopping.”
“Mom, are you sure you’re ok? You haven’t been this distracted since Ed died,” she murmured, refusing to call that man ‘Daddy’. He’d caused her sweet mother so much pain, she couldn’t find it in herself to be sorry he was dead.
Carol opened her arms to welcome her daughter and squeezed her tightly, tears burning at the backs of her eyes. “I just have a lot on my mind, baby. I promise everything is going to be alright as soon as I can sit down and plan what we’re going to do with the rest of our summer,” she said lightly, brushing a golden lock away from Sophia’s brow.
“Like a vacation?”
“Erm … something like that.”
*.*.*
“No … stay with me, Carol … please. Y’ cain’t leave me!” A sob tore loose from his throat as he felt a last ghosting breath caress his cheek. Her blood still coated his hands and flowed through his fingers, but all he could think was that he’d never told her just how much she meant to him, how very much he loved her. She was gone … his Carol lost forever this time. There would be no finding her hidden away waiting for him to rescue her, no distance he could cross to rush into her arms.
He wept brokenly, anger and grief leaving his throat as ragged and abused as his soul. Rick’s anguished cries behind him barely registered, nor did Negan’s order … only blackness.
“No! No! Carol!” He thrashed against the cool sheets which seemed to tangle around his legs, his arms flailing wildly as he felt the dream recede. A dream. A nightmare. He needed reality where his woman was alive and well, and he would fight with his last breath to get back to her.
“Damnit, boy! What th’ hell’s wrong with y’?!”
Daryl wasn’t expecting the voice of a ghost, nor the strong hands which curled around his wrists to stop his struggling. He blinked, bloodshot blue eyes meeting the mirror image of his own. “M-Merle?”
Merle stared worriedly at his brother, concerned over the heaving breaths and wild feral look in Daryl’s eyes. “Are y’ high? Comin’ down offa somethin’? What th’ fuck didja take last night at Tim’s party?!”
Daryl wrenched his hands from Merle’s grip and grabbed his head, wishing it would stop pounding long enough to allow him to think clearly. How th’ hell is Merle alive an’ where in fuck is Carol?! His gaze raked the small but modest bedroom, his personal effects resting neatly atop the dresser and his crossbow hanging on the wall above a small tv. What th’ fuck don’t even begin t’ cover it. It was as if he’d stepped right onto the set of the twilight zone.
“Boy, answer me! Do I need t’ take y’ t’ th’ hospital?”
“I ain’t on nothin’, for fuck’s sake!” he growled irritably. Merle could deal with irritable better than ten levels of crazy. “Jus’ a nightmare, s’all.”
Merle slapped him on the back and stood up straight, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well, I’d have nightmares too if Nasty Neecie had been chasing me around Tim’s apartment last night. Tell me y’ didn’t hit that. We gotta all have standards sometimes.”
Daryl shuddered, remembering that particular party when he’d been ready to jump out the window rather than have that girl anywhere near him. But it had been … years ago … before … “What day is it? What’s th’ date?!” he asked a little desperately.
“Y’ sure y’ didn’t take nothin’ last night?”
“Damnit, Merle, just tell me th’ fuckin’ date!”
The eldest Dixon looked at his brother as if he was seriously losing it. “June 12th, 2010.” A light of realization went off. “Y’ hit yer head … that’s it, right?”
Daryl rolled his eyes despite the pain nearly blinding him and climbed to his feet. He’d stalked halfway to the door, on his way to the bathroom, before he turned and threw himself at his brother in a fierce bear hug. “I’m glad you’re ok, Merle.”
“Th’ fuck?!” Merle choked out, pushing Daryl away. “Don’t be goin’ all pussy on me this mornin’! Next you’ll be wantin’ t’ talk about yer damn feelin’s. Gawd! Go take a shower or somethin’ … y’ smell like ass!”
Daryl grabbed some clean clothes from the dresser and hurried to the bathroom to have a quick wash, taking his brother’s advice. He still felt sick with fear, but he had his brother back. They had a second chance.
He stuck his head under the spray, the heat of the water scalding his bare neck and making him curse the short hair he sported. He rifled through his memories, his brow creased in a deep frown as nothing was as it should be. Not for a minute did he think it was just a nightmare. Who the hell could have dreamed up some crap like an apocalypse where the dead rose to walk? Not him, he thought, that was for damn sure.
He remembered what had been his true existence before everything had fallen apart, how he and Merle had never had a place of their own, or jobs, or money. Now, his head was trying to tell him they had steady jobs working for Bancroft Construction, they lived in a modest neighborhood just outside of Newnan, Georgia, in one of the newer apartment complexes, they had money in the bank and his brother wasn’t the drug addict he’d once been. Sure, Merle wouldn’t say no to a bit of bud when it was available, but it was nothing like the hard stuff he’d done before. This was some bullshit fantasy he’d dreamed up on more than one occasion. Now he just had to figure out who was fucking with him.
Daryl Dixon had never believed in God or a higher power lording it over the universe, but he was having a hell of a time coming up with a better explanation for the shitstorm he’d just been handed. Carol would surely know, but he had no earthly idea where she was. Had she been thrust back into that house with her piece of shit husband to suffer more abuse at his hands? He couldn’t even go to her because she’d never told him where she lived, not wanting to talk about the home she’d shared with Ed Peletier.
Fuck!
He paused mid-scrub as a small face framed with golden hair flashed across his mind’s eye. Sophia. Carol would have her daughter back. He hurriedly rinsed off and nearly tripped as he stepped out of the shower, blinded by the burning of unshed tears behind his lids. She’d have a second chance with her baby girl.
Daryl braced his hands against the sink and scowled at himself in the foggy mirror. He might be a few years younger and less worn than he’d been yesterday, but he still thought he looked like shit. He had to pull himself together. There was so much to do in order to be ready when the world went to hell. He wasn’t going out there unprepared for a second time.
As he pulled on his jeans, he couldn’t help but wonder if Carol had woken up that morning with her memory of their life together, surviving as they’d carved out a new place in the world, or if she was stuck in a loop as her former timid, mousy self … Not that she was any less precious to him as she had been at the quarry and later at the farm. But if she did remember … damn, she’d be a force to be reckoned with.
He frowned as his fingers ghosted over the smooth skin of his left side where the scar of a puncture wound should be. Closing his eyes, he let his mind wander to that day in Hershel’s spare bedroom where he lay resting after he’d nearly died … twice … and she’d kissed him for the first time, a mere brush of her lips against his brow in thanks. A gentle thank you for searching for her child, a thank you for being him. She’d made him feel as if he were worth something in her eyes, and he’d never been the same again.
I’ll find y’, Carol … and there ain’t gonna be a need t’ shed a single tear over your baby girl. Ain’t gonna let nothing happen t’ her this time. I promise.
Merle was stretched out in his favorite ratty recliner when Daryl came down the hall, keys in hand. “Hey, y’ comin’ down t’ th’ bar later t’ watch th’ game with me an’ th’ boys? First round’s on me, lil’ brother.”
“Naw, I need t’ run by Pete’s,” he said, thinking of the one acquaintance they had who might be able to get him what he needed. Just because he’d somehow been given a new life, it didn’t mean he didn’t still know some shady characters.
The leg of the chair creaked down as his brother turned to shoot him a narrow-eyed look. “An’ jus’ what th’ hell for?”
Daryl sighed, knowing it was useless to try to lie to Merle. “Cain’t we talk about it later?”
Merle pushed himself out of the chair and crowded into his brother’s personal space. “Uh-uh. The only time anyone willingly goes t’ see Pete is if’n they wanna get high – which I don’t think is it at all with y’ – or they want some heavy artillery. Now, why don’tcha tell ol’ Merle why y’ need guns an’ ammo.”
Raking a frustrated hand through his still-damp hair, Daryl decided to ‘fess up. “Some shit’s gonna go down in a few months an’ I need t’ be prepared, so t’ speak. Pete’s th’ only one I know who won’t ask too many damn questions.”
“What kinda shit?”
“I cain’t tell y’,” Daryl hedged, earning a cuff to the back of his head.
“Bullshit!” his brother retorted. “Y’ in trouble with th’ cops? Gangs? IRS? Throw me a bone here, Darylena.”
“I ain’t in trouble … yet. Jus’ … I cain’t talk about it without sounding ten kinds of crazy,” he grumbled. “I jus’ gotta do everythin’ in my power t’ have us ready for when th’ shit hits th’ fan, a’right? Cain’t y’ jus’ trust me this once?”
Merle hooked his thumbs in his belt loops and pursed his lips, rocking back on his heels as he searched his brother’s face. He certainly didn’t like what he found … a healthy dose of fear behind those clear blue eyes. Something was wrong, and he didn’t like being kept in the dark. However, if Daryl was headed for trouble, he wasn’t going to be alone. He spun on his heel and grabbed his jacket from where it was draped over the back of the sofa.
“Well, whatcha waitin’ for, boy? Let’s go.” Merle let him get halfway down the stairs leading from their second-floor apartment before a devious grin spread over his generous lips. “By the way … who’s Carol?”
Chapter Text
She’d held them back for as long as she could, but the second the front door closed behind her, Carol slid down to land with a soft thud against the hardwood floor of the entryway. Tears cascaded down her ashen cheeks as a sob tore itself loose from her aching throat.
Breakfast with her daughter at the local diner had been a joy she’d somehow forgotten after years of just trying to put one foot in front of the other as she had focused on surviving. Her baby girl was alive! Alive and vibrant and just as sweet as she’d remembered. To see Sophia’s bright, cheery smile as she’d dug into her french toast with gusto had helped the constant pressure in her chest ease to a mild ache.
How? How had this happened … this miracle? Why had God - or fate or some higher being - chosen her to bless with a second chance with her precious daughter? Yet, she couldn’t allow herself to believe it was just about her and Sophia. No, there were forces, no doubt, using her to further the greater good. For her to have been sent back to this time and place, with her memory and better advantages than she’d had before … it could mean nothing else.
Fate had never been good to her, but to put the weight of so many lives upon her delicate shoulders was nothing more than a cruel joke. If she had to sit there and try to puzzle through who exactly she was supposed to save, it would drive her mad.
For the first time since she’d woken that morning to discover herself in the past, she squared her shoulders with determination and pushed away the fear threatening to choke her. Sophia was her priority. Her baby girl had to survive this time. Losing her again would surely kill Carol a second time.
Pushing herself up from the floor, she swiped angrily at her tears and made her way to the small study where she kept her laptop and a few spare journals she’d stuffed into the drawer of her desk. First things first, she thought as she pulled an ink pen towards her, she needed to write down everything she could remember after the dead had begun to rise and walk the earth.
Carol had every faith Daryl would find her at the quarry … hopefully, with his memories intact. She paused to send up a silent prayer she wouldn’t have to go through the apocalypse again without him. The ache grew around her heart at the very thought as she set her pen to paper.
June 12th 2010
I know this is going to sound crazy. At first, I thought to pass it off as a dream … but there is no way I could ever have imagined Daryl Dixon.
The first time I saw him, I knew my life would be forever changed. He had been so full of anger and mistrust, standing behind his brother as Merle had talked with Shane about allowing them to find a place among the quarry survivors. Daryl could only be described as rough around the edges, but the first glimpse of his eyes had made my heart clench. It had been so brief, I thought I’d imagined it because it seemed he had trouble maintaining eye contact with the others. Pain … a soul-deep pain he carried with a good dose of fear. It had all been hidden so well, I doubt anyone else would have noticed.
I did … I did because I had lived with those emotions every single day of my life.
Carol went on to write more, filling page after page of the little leather-bound journal, the words pouring out of her in the form of her small delicate print. She tried to stick to the facts as they’d happened, but more and more she added thoughts and feelings she’d experienced at different moments. She detailed everything, tears accompanying the more painful memories … Sophia’s loss, the friendship she’d formed with Daryl who had been her lifeline, the friends they’d lost, and the more horrid things she’d been forced to do to protect her family.
By the time she finished, it was two in the morning, and her back was stiff with the strain of sitting in one place for too long. She dragged herself to the kitchen for a sandwich, stifling a yawn. Her bed called to her not long after she’d eaten and cleaned up after herself. She needed to get some sleep if she were to pick up Sophia tomorrow and begin preparing for the end of the world.
As she curled up in the middle of the big bed, she couldn’t help but wonder where Daryl was and if he might be thinking of her. She loved him, had always loved him, and it didn’t matter if he didn’t feel more for her than friendship. It was enough. She just needed to know he was safe.
“Please, God … please let him find us.”
*.*.*
“You wanna tell me what th’ fuck y’ need a sniper rifle for?” Merle asked in a furious whisper as he continued to pace the small kitchen, glancing at the weapons carefully laid out on the table.
Daryl didn’t look up, his gaze focused on the Mossberg shotgun he’d just put back together after a thorough cleaning. “S’not a sniper, Merle. It’s a Seekins .223 semi auto,” he corrected his brother.
“A’right, smart ass!” the eldest Dixon grumbled. “What’s with all the silencers? Hell, boy, y’ got enough here t’ go t’ war!” He leaned in, bracing his hands against the kitchen table, his face inches from Daryl’s. Merle knew it would make him uncomfortable which is why he did it.
Instead of scooting his chair back and fleeing until Merle was no longer in his personal space, Daryl simply lifted his gaze. “Don’t wanna make any noise. Hence the name … silencer.”
Merle’s confusion only grew, anger fusing his teeth together, the muscle in his jaw ticking. He waved a hand over the arsenal – not to mention the storage bin on the floor filled to the brim with ammo - spread before him, his eyes flashing fire, but his voice sounded low and dangerous. “The least y’ could do is be honest with me. Y’ know this could land us both in the slammer, right?! Fuck, I don’t wanna go back … ever! Now tell me what th’ fuck is up with you!”
“Y’ ain’t goin’ back t’ jail, Merle.”
Merle scoffed, pushing away from the table to grab a beer from the fridge. “What, y’ psychic now? Y’ cain’t know that, Darylena. If we get caught with this –“
Daryl sighed. “We ain’t gonna get caught.” He hated withholding the truth from his brother. After a five-year stint in jail, Merle had done everything he could to change his life around. No drugs, no hard liquor, no petty crimes. He worked nine to five sometimes six days a week, just as Daryl did. His only faults were his nasty mouth and the loose women he brought home on the weekend.
He shook his head, trying to reconcile this fantasy with the Merle he’d known before. It seemed whatever higher power had thrown him back into the past liked the Dixon brothers. Go figure. But there was no way he was going to alienate his only family before he had solid proof to back his claims.
“I need y’ t’ trust me, Merle. Trust me to be prepared enough for both of us.”
“Why do we need t’ be prepared? That’s what I wanna know,” Merle growled, swigging from the bottle as he glared daggers at his stubborn asshole of a brother. “How can I help if I don’t know?!”
Daryl shrugged, but he was unable to stop his features from twisting into a grimace. “Maybe I’m gettin’ ready for the apocalypse.”
Merle nearly choked on his beer as he stared wide-eyed at his brother … two seconds before he started laughing. “Have y’ lost yer mind, boy?”
Daryl flushed to the tips of his ears. He somehow knew Merle would find the situation humorous. “Yeah? Well, jus’ watch th’ damn news next week, y’ asshole. Then we’ll see how funny it is,” he hissed, shoving the weapons into the gun bag Pete had thrown in for free.
Merle sobered instantly as he watched Daryl sling the bag over his shoulder and lift the tote of ammo to bring to his room. “Wait … yer being serious? Oh, damn. Y’ know, I think Amos might know a shrink. He had t’ see one after his last marriage fell apart.”
The only answer he received was the slamming of the door as Daryl kicked it shut.
*.*.*
Sophia groaned as she dropped her bags into the back of the Cherokee before moving to collapse wearily into the passenger seat. Pre-teen girls didn’t rest much at a sleepover when their time could better be spent gossiping and giggling. She’d had no idea she’d be dragged all over the mall when her mother had mentioned taking her shopping.
The girl had never seen her mom so full of life and energy, her pace bordering on manic as she’d flitted from shop to shop. Her Mastercard should have melted after the fifth store. In the past, Carol had acted as though she’d rather eat glass than touch any of the money provided by Ed’s life insurance policy, and Sophia couldn’t imagine what had suddenly changed her mind. If she kept up this rate of spending, she’d blow through it all in no time.
“Sophia, honey, buckle up,” Carol said as she climbed behind the wheel and started the car.
The girl groaned again and did as she’d been told before slumping back against the seat with a yawn. “Mom?”
“Yes, baby?”
“Are you ok?” she queried softly. “You’re acting really weird.”
Carol laughed, a deep rich sound which warmed her daughter to her core. “Of course. I just thought we needed to buy new clothes for a change.”
Sophia looked back at the multitude of bags and shoe boxes littering the space behind the back seat. “But … you’ve never bought those kinds of clothes before. Ed would have had a stroke for sure.”
A frown creased Carol’s brow. The clothes she’d purchased for them both were made of thick durable material … button-down shirts, tanks, jeans, boots, sweaters and a leather jacket for each of them; practical things they’d need in the coming months. She had been thankful, for once, that her favorite store liked to put out fall and winter clothes well before the bathing suits were gone.
“Don’t you like them?”
Sophia shrugged. “I guess. They’ll come in handy when the seasons change, right?”
“Yes, they will,” Carol assured her as they exited the parking lot and merged onto the highway which would take them home. “But I was thinking they would be better suited for us when I take you camping.”
That announcement perked the girl up exponentially. “Seriously? Oh, my god, MOM!! I’ve always wanted to go camping, and Ed would never take us. Will we be able to hunt, too? And cook over a campfire and roast smores and go swimming in a lake?!”
Carol giggled, reveling in her daughter’s excitement. “I was thinking more along the lines of buying an RV. I might look into that tomorrow while you’re at swim camp … unless you’d rather come with me?”
“YES! You can’t just go and buy an RV without me, Mom,” Sophia said with a roll of her eyes. “We have to pick the perfect one for us. Not too big but big enough to kinda spread out, you know. Oh, wow, I can’t believe it. We’re going camping!”
Oh, baby girl, if you only knew.
*.*.*
“Th’ fuck y’ gonna do with four cases of spaghetti-o’s? Wait … is it th’ ones with th’ meatballs?”
Daryl rolled his eyes at his brother as he loaded the last of the canned goods into the back of the truck before securing the tarp over the bed. It had been two weeks since he’d woken up in the past and time was flying by at an alarming rate. He just hoped whatever supplies he was able to buy would be enough to get them through the first leg of their inevitable journey. The thought of Carl and Sophia going hungry made his gut clench.
Merle had accompanied him to the warehouse store on their way home from work, despite not believing the end of the world was on its way. If Daryl was diving off the deep end, Merle was determined to be there to jump in and save his ass.
“I like spaghetti-o’s, Merle. God knows we ain’t got nothin’ t’ eat at home because you think you’re gonna get cooties if y’ step foot in th’ grocery store,” Daryl grinned.
Merle huffed and climbed into the passenger side before pulling out his phone to check the latest news updates. “I hate cookin’. Y’ know that, lil’ brother. ‘Sides, it’s easier jus’ t’ stop an’ get a burger before headin’ home.”
“Your fat ass don’t need another burger.”
“I ain’t fat!”
“Keep tellin’ yourself that, Merle. Prob’ly why Missy Dawn don’t want nothin’ t’ do with y’ anymore.”
Merle scowled at his brother and turned the volume up on his phone. “That girl jus’ don’t know what she’s missin’ out on with ol’ Merle.”
… the president will be relocating to Camp David for the summer months to enjoy some quality time with his family, the newscaster droned on as Daryl pulled into the Burger King parking lot and drove around to the drive-thru.
… state and local authorities advise everyone within the city limits of Tallahassee Florida to avoid Capital Regional Medical Center. Due to a virus, all patients already admitted to the center have been quarantined. New patients will be diverted to Tallahassee Memorial Hospital. The CDC has been alerted to the issue and will be onsite to prevent the spread of this heretofore unknown pathogen. If you or someone you know come in contact with anyone who has been infected, please call the CDC at …
Merle watched Daryl stiffen from the corner of his eye, feeling his stomach churn with dread. “This is the third one in two weeks … New York City, Mammoth Springs, Arkansas; now Tallahassee.”
“CDC is on it. They’ll get it under control, right?” Daryl answered evasively as he perused the drive-thru menu he knew by heart, refusing to meet his brother’s piercing stare.
“You know somethin’ about this shit, don’tcha? This virus or whatever it is … that’s why y’ been hoarding everythin’ from guns an’ ammo t’ food an’ gas. Shit’s gonna go south an’ we’re gonna be stuck.” He grabbed Daryl’s arm as his brother finished ordering and pulled to the window. “Goddamn it, tell me the truth!”
Daryl sighed as he handed the employee a twenty and took the bags from her. “Yeah, Merle … real bad.”
“Holy mother of fuck!” He sat back against the seat in stunned silence as Daryl drove them home, speechless for what must be the first time in his life. Sometimes he wished he wouldn’t ask so many damn questions, but there was one which had taken root in his brain and just wouldn’t ease up.
Daryl climbed out of the truck, taking the keys and bags of food with him. “Y’ comin’ or are y’ jus’ gonna sit in th’ truck all night?”
Merle followed him inside and dropped down into his recliner as his brother thrust one of the bags into his hands to make his way into the kitchen to grab a few beers. Only when Daryl had settled himself on the couch with his own food did Merle finally ask.
“So … y’ know what’s comin’ for us. What I wanna know is … how?”
*.*.*
Carol stepped up behind her daughter and gently held a hand to Sophia’s back to help steady her. They’d been at the quarry over a month now, and her girl had taken to the recurve bow she’d given her as though she’d been born to it. However, she was still a bit nervous when it came to the .45.
When she and Sophia had gone shopping at the Cabela’s, thirty miles north of Atlanta in Acworth, Carol had been determined to at least get what they would need before the rest of their group joined them. She’d purchased two recurve bows, two Smith & Wesson Chief’s Special .45’s, and knives for both their belts and boots. The sales clerk hadn’t batted an eye when she’d thrown in a hunting rifle apiece, too. She’d shaken her head; thankful Georgia was rather lax about its gun policies.
Sophia not only excelled with her bow; she also enjoyed it, spending hours practicing with the targets Carol had set up for her. The girl was also proficient with her knives, not timid in the least as her small hand molded to the grips.
“Plant your feet, baby. You don’t want the kickback to knock you over,” Carol explained, encouraging her daughter to adjust her stance. “Remember … you have to make every shot count. Don’t rush and pull that trigger until you know you’re going to hit what you’re aiming for.”
Sophia relaxed her muscles and once again took aim at the bottles lined up near the tree line. Her hands shook from the unfamiliar weight of the piece, but she squeezed the trigger firmly, confidently, grinning from ear to ear as the bottle exploded from the impact.
Carol shared her delight and nodded, urging her to continue until the last of the ten bottles had been shattered. “Much better, Sophia,” Carol praised, pulling her girl into her side for a hug. “I’m very happy with your progress.”
Sophia beamed, moving to sit in the shade provided by the awning attached to the RV. She reached into the cooler plugged into one of the adapters on the side of the big vehicle and unscrewed the top on a bottle of lemonade. She sat back in her lawn chair and unfolded a cloth across her lap before taking her gun apart to clean it. By the time Carol returned with sandwiches and fruit for their lunch, she’d finished and had it back in the holster she kept on her hip.
The girl chewed slowly as she watched her mother peel an orange, Carol focused on her task. “Mom, who taught you so much about weapons?”
Carol’s head shot up, her mouth tightening into a thin line of displeasure before she eased her lips into a smile. It wasn’t the first time Sophia had asked that question, but just as before; she didn’t know how to answer it. She didn’t want to lie to her daughter, but she didn’t want to sound like an escapee from the asylum either.
“I … ah … I don’t know what you mean. We’re out here to learn together, right?”
Sophia arched a dubious brow, her lips curling into a smirk. “Really, Mom? Before you even fired that Ruger, you broke it down, inspected it, lubed it, put it back together and loaded the magazine in under six minutes. You’re not just learning.” She pushed her sandwich away and leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms obstinately over her chest. “You told me it was wrong to lie … especially to someone you love.”
Carol grimaced, remembering all the times Sophia had caught Ed in a lie. She wanted to kick herself for doing the same thing. Sighing, she leveled her daughter with a look and vowed to herself to tell the truth, no matter how crazy it might sound.
“His name is Daryl … Daryl Dixon,” she said, her voice warm and affectionate as she recalled his image to her mind. God, how I miss him. “I was alone and scared and looking for a reason to live. He saved me … in so many ways, he saved me.” She looked away from her daughter’s piercing gaze, feeling the stringent burn of tears behind her lids. “He was my best friend.”
“But why did he need to teach you about weapons? Was this before you met Ed?” Sophia asked, her little face drawn in confusion despite the avid curiosity burning in her hazel eyes.
Carol shook her head. “No … no, it wasn’t that long ago.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about him? Mom, what’s going on?” the girl huffed, a pleading note in her voice. “After Ed died, you rarely left the house. When did you have time to meet this man?”
Carol smiled, the same smile which had fooled Deanna and the rest of the Alexandrians. “I don’t tell you everything, baby. A woman has to have a few secrets.”
Sophia snorted. “Will you at least tell me why I need to learn how to protect myself? Does it have anything to do with what’s been happening on the news?”
Carol nodded, willing to tell her that much. “There’s not going to be any coming back from this virus, Sophia. It’s going to get really bad. We must protect ourselves and those who will surely come here running from it. We will survive this, but only if we work hard and help one another.”
Sophia rose from her seat and rounded the small camp table between the chairs, curling up on her mother’s lap. “How do you know, Mom? The doctors could find a cure, couldn’t they?”
“I don’t know, but I really don’t think so.”
The girl clung to her mother, burying her tear-stained face against her throat. I don’t want people to suffer. I just want them to get better.”
Carol dropped a kiss to Sophia’s crown and smoothed a hand down her back, tracing the knots of her spine. “I’m not going to lie and tell you it’s going to get better. I want you to be prepared for what’s coming. But I promise you this, baby … I will do everything within my power to keep you safe.”
They were running short on time, Carol knew. She perhaps had one last chance to make a final supply run to stock up on what they’d used in the last month. She would have to hurry, because there wasn’t a chance in hell she’d risk being in the city when the world fell apart.
*.*.*
Daryl leaned over, palms braced on his knees as he reached the top of the stairs – three flights, for fuck’s sake – the breath wheezing faintly in his chest. Goddamn! Too many years of smoking and not enough exercise, apparently, weren’t good for him. He worked his ass to the bone, but it wasn’t the same back-breaking routine he’d had back at the prison and later at Alexandria. He would eventually bulk back up, muscles strengthening as his form became lean once more, but it was going to take time.
Breath caught sufficiently; he made his way down the hall to the apartment he shared with Merle. The front door hadn’t even been closed all the way, and when he poked his head into the living room, it was to find his brother staring bleakly at the television, the only illumination in the room. He sucked in a sharp breath as he noticed the little box sitting on the coffee table next to a Browning pistol.
Cold sweat beaded on his brow and upper lip as he stared at it, not having seen it since the night Merle had shot Jackson Dixon full of holes in a fit of rage. To be honest, he’d thought his brother had buried it in their father’s shallow grave. He ran a hand over his face and fought down the memories rising to choke him.
“Merle?”
The elder Dixon refused to look away from the little box as the TV droned on amidst the suffocating tension permeating the air. He didn’t meet his brother’s gaze until Daryl stepped forward and closed the lid on the small decorative container. “I didn’t take none, if that’s what yer wonderin’.”
Daryl cleared his throat as he went to the kitchen and dumped the contents in the trash. In another life, Merle would have, no doubt, tried to beat him to death if Daryl had tossed out his stash. There was now a fortune’s worth of heroin, needles and the like staring up from him before he closed the lid.
“Y’ wanna keep th’ box?” he asked, glancing at his brother over his shoulder. Their grandfather had carved it himself when Merle had been younger, and it was one of the few things his brother prized. At Merle’s nod, he moved to the duffel next to the front door and found a place for it.
“Where’d y’ get this crap? We don’t need your ass fallin’ off th’ wagon right now, brother.”
Merle sighed and looked away. “Pete said he was leavin’ th’ city an’ left it as a partin’ gift.”
Daryl gritted his teeth, his face flushing with anger. He remembered the last time, trying to get out of the city, his brother so high he could barely hold the bike up. He sure as hell wasn’t doing it again. “C’mon, I wanna get outta here before shit gets bad. Truck’s loaded an’ both it an’ th’ bike are gassed up.”
Merle waved a dismissive hand towards the television newscast and snorted. “Yeah, an’ where th’ fuck’re we s’posed t’ go, lil’ brother? THERE AIN’T NOWHERE! IT’S TH’ FUCKIN’ APOCALYPSE!”
Daryl roughly jerked up his brother’s bag and tossed it onto his lap. “Well, I for one ain’t stayin’ here like a sittin’ duck waitin’ for those nasty bastards t’ come make a meal outta my ass. Now, get up an’ come on!” he fairly shouted, feeling a small measure of satisfaction at the way Merle’s eyes widened.
“Look here, y’ little asshole –“
“No!” Daryl growled. “We ain’t stayin’ here.”
Merle followed him out the door, his bag slung over his shoulder. “Would y’ slow th’ fuck down an’ listen t’ reason?”
“From you? Nah, it’s time y’ followed me for a change. I know a place t’ go … somewhere we can lay low,” Daryl tried to assure him. There was nothing worse than trying to get Merle to do what he wanted when the man decided to be a stubborn ass.
Merle stormed out of the building and into the parking lot just as Daryl shoved the last of his bags into the front seat of the truck. “On the news, they’re sayin’ FEMA is settin’ up refugee camps in all th’ major cities affected. Tell me we ain’t goin’ there. One of those things gets in an’ we’re as good as dead.”
“Hell no, we ain’t.” For the first time since he’d woken up months before with his memories, Daryl let a genuine smile curl his lips. He climbed into the driver’s seat and rolled his window down, leaning out as Merle climbed onto the bike. “Jus’ stick t’ my tail. We’re gonna skirt northwest around th’ city towards Bellwood. There’s a quarry there … should be safe enough for a while. We don’t wanna be here when shit goes south.”
Merle grinned. “That where we took those girls –“
Daryl groaned and started the truck. “No, that’s where you took those girls an’ I was forced t’ wait for you so I could drive your high ass back home,” he grumbled.
“What makes y’ think it’ll be any safer there than barricaded here in our apartment?”
Daryl slid his sunglass on and shifted the Ford into first. “Call it a hunch.”
*.*.*
He figured they had maybe a week before the government decided to make a last-ditch effort to end the virus and bomb Atlanta. Idiots! he thought, shaking his head as he headed down yet another backroad which would lead him in the right direction. When the dead started rising, wouldn’t it have made more sense not to bomb a place and make double the number of walkers they had been trying to exterminate? He could just imagine what Merle would have to say about it considering how much he hated the government.
Daryl glanced off to the west, judging a handful of hours of daylight left due to the position of the sun in its descent towards the horizon. He couldn’t help but let his mind wander to Carol, excitement building within him at the thought of seeing her again. His chest tightened painfully, wondering if she and Sophia were alright. Ed hadn’t provided them the least bit of protection at the beginning, doing nothing more than driving them out of the city. Had things changed for her, too? Just as Merle had been different – hell, their entire lives – had she woken to a different set of circumstances?
He swore to himself if Ed showed up with her at the quarry, he was going to kill the son of a bitch … brutally and with as much pain as possible. Peletier deserved it for the hell he’d made of Carol’s life.
Daryl downshifted and leaned an arm out the window to signal his brother behind him. His heart clenched as he turned onto the gravel road, his memories a vivid, technicolor blur as he took the road to the top of the hill. He remembered coming here the first time, hiding in Merle’s shadow as his brother had made nice with Shane, all the while plotting to rob the group of survivors blind; seeing Carol for the first time, keeping an eye out for Sophia when he’d first noticed the unholy look in Ed’s gaze as it raked over his daughter; coming back from hunting to find Merle had been left to rot on a roof. He’d be damned if he’d let it play out like that this time.
However, he wasn’t expecting to find a top-of-the-line RV parked in the same spot where his tent had once rested. What th’ fuck? He seriously doubted Dale had upgraded the Winnebago, and he couldn’t imagine who the owner might be. He knew he was early, but he didn’t think anyone in their right mind would be out here on a camping trip while the world went to shit.
He parked the truck and eased from the driver’s seat, shouldering his crossbow. Hopefully, the owner of the RV wouldn’t find him threatening if the weapon was safely on his back. There was always the pistol tucked into the back of his pants if he needed to defend himself.
The kickstand on the bike gave a familiar squeak as it was set, Merle taking a look around as he moved to his brother’s side. “Nice setup,” he drawled lowly, eyeing the RV with appreciation. “Seems t’ me y’ ain’t th’ only one thought it’d be safe t’ come up here.”
“Yeah …” His voice trailed away as the unmistakable slide of a semi-automatic handgun reached his ears, drawing his gaze up to the roof of the vehicle where a familiar pair of hazel eyes narrowly peered down at him.
“I don’t know who you are, mister, but I’m not about to let you rob us,” Sophia warned as threateningly as a twelve-year-old girl could possibly manage.
Merle spluttered a laugh at her nerve, but Daryl’s heart took flight, a wide grin overtaking his face.
Notes:
A/n: I’m really not happy with this chapter. I hope y’all liked it better than I did. Thanks so much for reading and for all the wonderful reviews!! Y’all are the absolute best!
Chapter Text
“Girl, put that gun down before y’ hurt yerself,” Merle chuckled. He wasn’t the least bit intimidated by the small, non-descript girl staring down the barrel of her .45. She probably didn’t even know where the safety was. “Where’s yer parents? Y’ cain’t mean t’ tell me they left y’ up there t’ play guard dog.”
“How ‘bout you leave so you don’t have to find out whether or not I’m a good shot,” she snarked back, not appreciating the condescension in his tone.
“Sophia …” Daryl was having a devil of a time keeping himself together when all he wanted was to see Carol. He was thrilled to see the girl perched confidently atop the RV and bearing a basic knowledge of the weapon she held tightly in her small grip. Hope flared to life in his chest that this might be a sign Carol had her memories as well.
Her stunned gaze flickered towards him before it returned to Merle who she believed to be the bigger danger to her. “Do I know you, mister?”
Daryl shrugged the crossbow off and slowly propped it up against the side of the RV, holding his hands out to his side to show her he meant no harm. There was nothing he could tell her about the past without her thinking he’d lost his mind, but Merle didn’t give him the chance to think up a convincing lie.
“Look, girlie, we don’t mean y’ no harm,” he said, the corners of his mouth flashing upwards as he smiled. “We’re jus’ lookin’ for a spot t’ settle for a bit. Th’ city’s gone crazy an’ we thought it best t’ leave before it got worse. So … your dad around? Me an’ my brother wanna make it clear we don’t want any trouble.”
Daryl forced himself to stifle a snort. He knew Merle meant if there was to be any trouble, his brother would be the one to start and finish it.
The girl arched a dubious brow and steadied her hands holding the gun. “And I’m just supposed to believe you? What do I look like to you, mister … stupid?”
Before his brother could do more than open his mouth to argue with her, Daryl’s ears perked up, picking up on the sound of boots on the gravel path leading from the lake. His body turned of its own accord, heart thundering wildly against his ribs as hope coursed hotly through his veins.
Please, please, please … let her remember me.
*.*.*
Carol resisted the urge to pat herself on the back as she hung the last of the wet clothes on the line she’d strung between two trees not far from the water’s edge. She’d have to hang more twine once the rest of the group arrived at the quarry, but it was enough for her and Sophia’s meager needs.
She left the basket there for when she returned, making her way up the small incline which would take her back to camp. The sound which met her ears startled her, not quite registering with her. It had been so quiet over the last month, and …
The breath hitched in her chest, her feet stuttering to a halt as she heard the unmistakable roar of the Triumph. Her heart beat a staccato against her ribs as her stride began eating up the ground which separated her from the RV.
He’s here … he’s here … he’s here!
She ran full-out in her haste to reach him, praying all the while she wouldn’t stumble and sprawl head-first onto the gravel path. Bursting through the trees, her eyes burned with unshed tears as they searched him out, her gaze devouring every inch of his beloved face.
Carol watched dazedly as he took a hesitant step towards her, his own gaze searching for some hint of recognition or awareness that she did indeed know him. “Daryl …”
His name, so softly uttered, was all he needed to have him sprinting across the distance which separated them. A sob tore loose from her throat as his arms banded around her, pulling her into his body with a force which drove the breath from her lungs. Her own arms locked around his neck, dragging him into her, his face burying itself against her throat as he sobbed her name.
It reminded her of their reunion after she’d saved them all from Terminus, and she let her tears fall unreservedly down her ashen cheeks. She felt him shudder, and her fingers instantly sought the nape of his neck, caressing him unconsciously as she relied on muscle memory to soothe him. “It’s ok … Daryl, it’s alright … breathe.”
He drew in a shaky breath and finally lifted his head from the crook of her neck, his gaze still focused on her throat. His hand rose, fingers tracing the artery in her neck where he clearly remembered her life’s blood pouring from her body.
Carol brushed the tears from his face as his eyes finally met hers. “I … I watched y’ die. How …”
She smiled, refusing to dwell on the memory of her death. “Nine lives, remember?”
Daryl arched a brow at her, huffing an irritated snort at her blasé answer. “You are not gonna stand there an’ make one of your stupid jokes!” he hissed, though there was no heat behind his words. He dragged her against him once more and rested his brow on hers. “How th’ hell are we even here? Is this what happens when y’ die … y’ get to relieve th’ worst shit of your life over an’ over?”
Carol simply closed her eyes, reveling in the closeness they shared, feeling as if she’d come home. “Shh, we’ll figure it out,” she whispered, allowing herself a moment to breathe him in. A fresh torrent of tears spilled from her eyes as she tucked her head beneath his chin, his grip never going slack. “I missed you so much.”
She felt him nod as he pressed his face against her soft silver curls. “Two goddamn months too long. We really gotta stop this shit, Carol. I’m glad I decided t’ come on out here a little early.”
“So am I.”
“Jus’ got one question for y’.”
Carol finally pulled away, a teasing smirk settling on her lips. “Only one?”
His eyes darkened, causing a shiver of dread to race down her spine. She was all too familiar with that look, especially when his temper was riled. “Yeah … where’s your piece o’ shit husband?”
*.*.*
Sophia’s mouth fell open as she watched her mother throw herself into the stranger’s arms, tears streaming over her face. Carol was happy … happier than Sophia had ever seen her. “Holy …”
“Shit!” Merle cursed. He was staring at his brother, flummoxed. Daryl had always been standoffish at best, never comfortable with anyone bold enough to invade his personal space. Yet, there he was wrapped around this woman as if he knew her in the biblical sense.
The girl nodded in agreement. “I’ve never seen my mom hug someone like that; not even my dad.” Especially not her dad.
Merle’s eyes narrowed as Daryl took the woman’s hand and tugged her along after him towards the RV where they waited. There was a story there, and damn if he wasn’t determined to find out what it was. Just that one look had Daryl blushing to the tips of his ears and ducking his head to avert his gaze.
The eldest Dixon let his eyes rake her from top to toe, his most charming – albeit lascivious – smile planted on his face. “And jus’ who might you be, darlin’?”
*.*.*
Carol fought back the grin wanting to show itself, holding out her hand to shake his. She wanted to hug the man, remembering how devastated Daryl had been over Merle’s death. Now, just as she had a second chance with Sophia, Daryl had one with his brother, and she couldn’t have been more grateful.
“Hello, Merle; I’m Carol,” she introduced herself.
A spark of recognition lit his clear blue eyes. “Sooo … you’re Carol,” he drawled, glancing over at Daryl. “He never would tell me about y’ … or why he was always crying out for y’ in his sleep.”
“Goddamnit, Merle!” his brother hissed, looking murderous as his skin darkened to yet another deeper shade of red.
Carol squeezed Daryl’s hand reassuringly. She’d had her fair share of nightmares as well. How could she not when it was that same night over and over again, emerging in her subconscious and waking her, his name on her lips. Her gaze was drawn to Sophia as the girl shifted and Carol gasped at the .45 in her hand.
“Sophia, honey, put that away and come on down from there. I promise they’re not a threat.”
Merle snorted, a bit affronted, but Daryl just shook his head.
The girl huffed, but popped the hatch and disappeared down the ladder before coming to stand by the now open door. “There’s about three more minutes on your timer, Mom,” she said to her mother while her suspicious gaze swung back and forth between the brothers. “You want me to take the lasagna out of the oven?”
“Yes, baby, thank you.” Carol’s smile slipped as she watched her daughter move away from the door. To Daryl, she said quietly, “She’s never been too trusting, but don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll warm up to you in no time.” She gave him a gentle nudge towards the door and then settled her hand in the crook of Merle’s elbow. “Come on, Merle, you’ve got to be hungry. I hope you don’t mind Italian.”
His brows shot up as she pulled him towards the RV. “Well, I ain’t too good t’ turn down an invitation t’ dinner from a beautiful woman.” His smile was back in place despite the surprise he’d shown before. “Y’ can tell me all about how y’ know m’ brother.”
Carol smiled tightly, her eyes flitting over to Daryl to witness the brief look of unease which flickered over his face. She knew she was going to have to use everything in her arsenal to be as evasive – yet convincing – as possible. She’d been so focused on preparing for what she knew was coming, she hadn’t given the first thought to what she and Daryl would tell Merle. And God knew he was worse than a dog with a bone if he happened to sniff out a lie.
Daryl waited for Carol to busy herself serving dinner and grabbing drinks before he gripped his brother’s bicep tightly, his voice lowering to a growl. “Don’t make either of them uncomfortable, Merle. I don’t know what she’s told Sophia about us and that girl’s been through enough without making shit worse,” he warned.
Merle raised a brow, his eyes narrowed dangerously. “She prob’ly knows a helluva lot more than me.”
With that, Daryl knew he’d messed up. He had to remind himself his brother wasn’t the same man he’d been last time they’d been at the quarry. He cursed himself, wishing he’d answered the questions Merle had asked about Carol when he’d had the chance. “Look, I shoulda told y’, ok? Jus’ not right now.” He felt relieved when some of the tension left his brother’s stocky frame. “I promise I’ll tell y’ everythin’ tomorrow.”
“Y’ can bet yer ass I’ll hold y’ to that promise, Darylina,” the older Dixon hissed before pasting a charming smile to his lips and strolling over to where Carol urged him to sit at the table.
Sophia watched the brothers warily as they slid into the booth seat across from her. She’d always been leery of men. Her only example of how the opposite sex treated women had been that of her father and if anything, it made her cautious. With her gun holstered on one hip and her knife in a sheath on her thigh, at least now she had a way to protect herself. She was full of questions, but she held her tongue, opting to observe them … for now.
Carol smiled softly, a sense of peace she hadn’t felt for a long time settling around her as she began to dish up the lasagna she’d prepared. “Was it bad trying to get out of the city?”
Daryl shook his head. “Naw … I think we left early enough to avoid th’ worst of it. They’ve been talking about settin’ up refugee centers … one at Fort Benning, one jus’ outside Savannah an’ another near Macon. Th’ roads are gonna be jammed, an’ these centers are a shitstorm waitin’ t’ happen.” He nodded approvingly in her direction. “Y’ did th’ right thing comin’ out here when y’ did.”
Merle tore a garlic knot apart and stuffed half of it into his mouth. “Can y’ imagine one o’ those things getting loose in those so-called safe zones? Chaos! An’ whatcha think’s gonna happen, then? I’ll tell y’ what … th’ government will start exterminatin’ people whether they’re infected with th’ virus or not.”
Daryl rolled his eyes.
Carol ate quietly, her rapt attention on Merle. Despite his somewhat offensive behavior in the past, she’d always liked him. He didn’t suffer bullshit or fools lightly.
“It was our almighty government that caused all this shit, if y’ want m’ opinion. Prob’ly tryin’ to institute some new-fangled germ warfare an’ it turned around an’ bit them in th’ ass!”
“Merle …” Daryl groaned, knowing there was no stopping his brother once he got going.
“World’s goin’ t’ shit an’ th’ government is leadin’ these people in like lambs t’ slaughter.” Merle finished off his dinner and gulped down the rest of his beer. “It’s people like us who’s gonna survive this shit.”
“You really think there’s no way to cure those people?” Sophia asked quietly, her gaze swinging back and forth between Daryl and Merle.
It was Daryl who answered in the same soft tone he reserved for her mother. “Naw, Soph, there is no cure. None that I’ve seen, at least. If they were jus’ sick, it might be possible, but they’re not … they’re dead.”
Sophia swallowed roughly and pushed her plate away only half eaten. She could tell from the severity in his eyes he wasn’t lying to her. “I saw a YouTube video a few days ago … a man in Austin, Texas … he was eating this poor woman on the sidewalk while she screamed … and no one would help her. One of the soldiers there … he shot them both. She wasn’t dead, but he shot her, too.”
Carol wrapped her arm around her daughter and pulled her close to her side, dropping a kiss to her crown. “The virus is passed through a bite, so we know she would have died and become one of them. The soldier was being merciful,” she said softly, knowing it was little comfort. Before, she would have been appalled to think of Sophia watching such news footage, but now she encouraged it. Anything to better prepare the girl for the horrors they would face.
Daryl hated to see either of them so upset and opted to change the subject. “So, what made y’ go out an’ buy this little beauty,” he asked, waving a hand around to indicate the posh vehicle.
Sophia chuckled. “Mom wanted to take me camping. It kind of spiraled from there when the virus broke out, though.”
Carol rose from her seat, retrieving a package of cookies from the cupboard and setting it on the table. Sophia slipped out behind her and began gathering their dirty dishes to wash. “I did want to bring Sophia camping, but as things escalated, I’m glad I made the purchase. I wanted as much storage as I could get and enough room in here to comfortably sleep others should we find people who need help.”
“I noticed th’ solar panels an’ jerry cans on th’ roof. Closet survivalist, eh?” Merle grinned.
Carol smirked over at him. “Something like that.”
Daryl hid his own smile, marveling at her quick thinking. The RV was outfitted to provide them with a power source without draining the batteries. The hatch to the roof which could be accessed from the inside had, no doubt, been specially ordered, and the storage compartments would probably hold every bit of the supplies he’d brought along with him.
“The bed of th’ truck is full of supplies. Think y’ got room for ‘em?” he asked, fingers fidgeting with the label on his empty beer bottle.
“We’ll make room,” she assured him.
“How’d y’ afford somethin’ like this?” Merle asked, taking in his surroundings. “Not that I’m judgin’ or anythin’.”
Carol let her eyes wander over the captain’s chairs in what Sophia had dubbed the cockpit. Above it was the bunk her daughter had claimed as her own. There were two sofas and the booth table which would convert into beds, a modest kitchenette, bathroom – the shower used for storage since it would be wasteful to use so much water – but her favorite feature of the RV was the bedroom at the rear with its king-sized bed. There would be plenty of room for them all if necessary.
She took a sip of her iced tea and met Merle’s crystalline gaze. It was so filled with avid curiosity; it made her smile. “My husband died just after the first of the year. He was killed by a drunk driver – which is quite ironic if you think about it - and left me a rather large life insurance settlement.” Her gaze flickered over to Daryl, noticing the way his jaw clenched at the mention of Ed. “He was not a good man, and will not be missed. He’s probably spinning in his grave at the thought of me spending his money.”
Merle’s gaze darkened, his eyes settling on Sophia where she stood at the counter drying the dishes she’d washed. His silent question regarding her wariness of them answered.
“Mom, I’m going up to stand watch for a while if that’s ok,” Sophia told her mother as she moved towards the ladder. There was really no need for a guard shift – not yet, at least – but it was good training for the future.
“That’s fine, baby. I’m going to go collect the laundry, and you should be able to see me from up there.” The RV was parked overlooking the lake so Carol and Sophia could always keep an eye on one another.
“I’ll go with y’,” Daryl volunteered.
“We’ll need to check the snares, too,” Carol said as she moved to the door.
Merle rose from his seat, unsure what he was supposed to do with himself now that everyone else had a task. “If y’ tell me where y’ set them, I’ll check them for y’.”
Carol reached out and rested her hand on his forearm. Her voice lowered so Sophia wouldn’t be able to hear her. “I’d rather you stay and keep an eye on my daughter, Merle. She’s capable, but I don’t like to leave her alone.”
Merle swallowed as he took note of the trust shining in her eyes. It made his chest tighten with a wave of anxiety. That itch started up again beneath his skin. Something was going on, and it irritated him that he couldn’t figure it out for himself. He looked over at his brother. There was a calm surrounding Daryl. He wasn’t the twitchy little fuck he usually was … and it was all because of this woman. It looked good on him, and Merle was determined to keep it there.
He couldn’t force words past the knot constricting his throat and just nodded, watching Carol smile as Daryl led her out the door and onto the path leading to the lake.
*.*.*
Carol was silent as she quickly checked the few snares she’d set just past the tree line. She could clearly see the emotions playing over Daryl’s features, the tight set of his mouth and the tension in his shoulders. She was sure he had a million questions battling for dominance in his mind only made worse now that they were together again. It would be futile to try to talk to him before he’d worked through them all.
There was still a good bit of daylight left when they dropped the few rabbits back at the RV before taking the path down towards the lake. She would give him the time he needed. Moving over to her makeshift clothesline, she paced herself, folding one piece at a time and placing them in the basket.
Daryl’s anxious stride ate up the grass where it met the sand and rock beach, watching her from the corner of his eye as his breathing picked up. “How can y’ be so damn calm?”
Her lips quirked up into a small smile. “Perhaps because you seem to be upset enough for both of us.”
“Don’t y’ think I got a good reason?!” he hissed, stopping mid-pace to glare in her direction. “I mean … c’mon, Carol! Y’ fuckin’ died … died! I don’t know what happened after that. I jus’ woke up … Merle … in an apartment I ain’t never seen before … an’ y’ weren’t there!”
Carol rushed to his side as he bent over and braced his hands on his knees, fighting to stop himself from hyperventilating. She rubbed soothing circles onto his back as his legs gave way and brought them both to the ground. It frightened her to see him like this, but she pushed her fear down, determined to see him through his panic attack.
“I heard Negan’s orders … that final gunshot before I lost consciousness. I don’t think either of us made it that night,” she whispered softly, her fingers threading through his hair as his head came to rest upon her shoulder. “And you say you woke to a different past?”
Daryl pulled himself together and met her gaze, his hand catching hers and holding it tightly. “Yeah … we had a nice place, money in th’ bank, food in th’ fridge. Fuck, Merle’s sober if y’ can believe it! It’s like a wild fantasy someone plucked right outta m’ head.”
She traced the veins on the underside of his wrist, feeling him shiver beneath her touch, but she couldn’t give in to her teasing nature just now. “It was the same for me … a fantasy,” Carol confessed, a frown knitting her brow as she thought back to that morning. “I’d always wondered what it would have been like if I could just wake up one morning and Ed … I wished him dead so many times, Daryl. I wanted to be safe; I wanted Sophia to be safe.”
He drew his knees up and rested his elbows on them, staring up at the short cliff where the RV sat. “Bet y’ didn’t expect th’ money, though.”
Carol snorted. “No, I never would have dreamed he’d have a life insurance policy, much less that he’d name me as his beneficiary. I’m glad he did. It was the one thing in his whole life he’d ever done right. He provided us with a way to survive.”
Daryl nodded. “It’ll definitely get us started. After the CDC, we’ll just lock your lil’ girl in there until th’ herd passes. Maybe make Merle sit on her so she can’t get out.” The small smile faded from his face as he dropped his head into his hands. “Gawd, I don’t even know what I’m talkin’ about anymore. We ain’t goin’ nowhere near that stretch o’ highway!”
Her heart clenched, unable to stand seeing him so distressed, but she had to make him see reason. Kneeling beside him, she pulled his hands away and made him look at her. “Stop.”
“Stop what?” he mumbled, shaking his head.
“Stop trying to find a way to blame yourself for this. Every time something happens, you blame yourself.”
“But –“
Her nails dug firmly into his wrists until his eyes cleared; only then did her grip gentle. “Someone or something is toying with us. Karma, fate, god … who knows? Who are we to question why we didn’t stay dead? Negan could have just let us turn, but something intervened. Somehow, we were given a second chance.”
Daryl snorted, but he didn’t pull away from her. He felt if anyone could make sense out of the clusterfuck they’d been thrown into, it was Carol. “It ain’t like they left us any instructions to go by. How’re we supposed to know what it is we need t’ fix?”
One slender shoulder lifted in a shrug. “Well … we’ve got several things going for us already. Firstly, we have our memories. We know where we are and where we’re headed and what all comes in between. Think of all those we’ve lost … and how we might save them this time.”
“A’right, I’ll give y’ that.”
“Secondly, I’m not the abused, terrified little church mouse I was the first time around. You’re not the angry redneck …” She pressed her lips together to stifle a laugh as his affronted gaze swung to her. “Oh, face it, Pookie. You weren’t very charming back then.”
“No shit,” he scoffed, bumping her shoulder with his. “Merle’s not quite th’ same brand of douchebag he was before, either.”
“No, he’s not. And I’ve been training Sophia, so she will be prepared when we’re forced to leave here. I … I don’t know … “ Her mask of calm composure slipped and silvery tears spilled over her cheeks before she could brush them away. “What if it’s not enough?”
Daryl pulled her to him, arms banding around her as he dragged her onto his lap and rubbed soothing circles along her back. He’d always been shit when it came to trying to comfort the women in his makeshift family, but he was tired of running … especially from Carol for whom his feelings ran so deeply. “We ain’t gonna let anything happen t’ her this time. Y’ said we have a chance t’ make things right, woman, an’ I would follow that girl right into hell if needs be.”
Carol curled against his chest and pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw, lingering to feel his pulse stutter against her lips. He’d never let her so close before, and she relished his willingness to let her in now. “I’m so glad you’re here with me. At first, I thought it was all a wild dream, but then I realized I couldn’t have imagined someone like you. I knew you had to be more than a fantasy. I needed you to be real.”
The anxiety he’d suffered earlier melted away beneath the warmth and calm of her very presence. He would have sat there with her in the grass all night if she’d asked it of him. His nose nuzzled against her temple, his voice dipping in register. “I never doubted y’. Knew y’ were out there waitin’ … jus’ like I was.” She pressed closer to him, and his eyes closed in contentment. “I was scared y’ wouldn’t remember me, but I knew I’d find y’ eventually.”
Carol sniffled, but her eyes were finally dry. “You always do.” She sighed, hating to break the moment between them, but she knew Sophia would begin to worry if she didn’t get back soon. She climbed to her feet and held out a hand to help him up before grabbing the clothes basket to lug back to camp.
He slung his crossbow over his shoulder and took the basket from her amid her protests, giving her that look which clearly told her not to argue with him. They were halfway up the hill when he stopped and turned to her, biting his lip as he struggled with the question he’d been wanting to ask since the moment he’d seen her that afternoon.
“What is it?” she asked when he held his silence a bit too long. “Is something wrong?”
Daryl huffed out a long breath and shook his head, ducking his head so he could peer up at her from beneath his lashes. “I … that night … y’ said … y’ told me y’ loved me. Did y’ say it jus’ because y’ knew y’ were dyin’, or did y’ mean it?”
Carol moved closer to him, her cheeks tinted with a rosy glow to rival the setting sun. Leaning up on her toes, she pressed a kiss to his stubbled jaw and smiled.
Notes:
A/n: You all are so awesome! I cannot contain my glee over the response to this fic!!! I’m so sorry I didn’t get this chapter out to you yesterday, but I was back in the hospital with pancreatitis and didn’t get released until late yesterday afternoon and when I got home, all I wanted to do was sleep. But here it is, and I hope y’all enjoyed it. *love and hugs*
Chapter 4
Notes:
A/n: I finished up the chapter I’ve been working on this week, so I thought why not post chapter 4 a day early? Hope y’all enjoy!! And happy fourth of July to those who celebrate!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
She was watching him again, her eyes focused down to where he stood in the shade of the trees skinning rabbits. Merle smirked as he felt her gaze inch across the back of his neck. The little girl was a contradiction if he’d ever seen one … piss and vinegar when she felt threatened, but quiet and observant when she felt safe. Much like his little brother. Too much, if he were honest.
Sophia – at least he thought that was the name her mother had given – she was overly watchful for a twelve-year-old kid. She should be at home playing with her barbie dolls, shouldn’t she? Not that he knew anything at all about pre-teen girls. Shipped off to the military to avoid jail time, he could barely remember Daryl at that age. However, he could recognize the same signs of abuse clinging to the girl which had plagued both him and his brother.
He was going to have to fix that if she were to survive in this world. He took his time preparing and storing the game in a plastic food container he’d found in the RV. They’d serve nicely for breakfast, he thought. Cooking breakfast was the least he could do to show his appreciation for Carol’s hospitality.
Merle stored the container in the refrigerator and climbed the ladder to the roof, noticing how Sophia’s hand instantly moved to the mother-of-pearl handle of her knife. She didn’t draw it, but the intent was there should he make a move towards her. He wiped his palms on the legs of his jeans and dropped down not far from her, his back to her as he tried to appear casual. It wasn’t in his nature to give his back to anyone – especially someone armed – but he felt he had to develop some trust with her sometime.
“Kinda impressive yer mama trusts y’ enough t’ stand watch,” he began, glancing at her from the corner of his eye.
Sophia shrugged. “She said we always need to be on the lookout … to keep each other safe. It’s boring, but it’s better than skinning rabbits.”
Merle chuckled. “Don’t care too much for it, right?”
“Nope,” she drawled wearily, popping the ‘p’. “It’s really … icky. It’s nearly impossible to get the blood out from under my fingernails.”
He huffed a short laugh, but cut it off when her eyes narrowed. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he was making fun of her. “All part o’ huntin’. You’ll get used t’ it.” He turned his head, scrutinizing the peaches and cream skin of her brow where it had tightened in displeasure. “Yer dad ever take y’ huntin’?”
Sophia shrank back in her seat, her hand gripping the hilt of her knife so hard, her knuckles whitened. She lowered her gaze and swallowed around the anger and resentment clogging her throat. “Ed Peletier never did a nice thing for anyone his entire life. So, no.”
“Hey … look at me when y’ talk t’ me,” he said in a tone far gentler than he’d ever used on his brother. Sophia flinched, but she did as he said, peering up at him from beneath her lashes. “Don’t ever be afraid to look a man in th’ eye. Don’t let ‘em think yer weak … they’ll charge y’ down an’ take advantage otherwise. Y’ do it th’ right way, and it’ll intimidate ‘em, make ‘em see yer someone t’ be reckoned with.”
She sucked in a deep breath and lifted her chin a notch, determination sparkling in her hazel eyes.
“Better.” He waved a hand to encompass the world as a whole. “Shit out there cain’t beat y’ unless y’ let it. And right now, th’ world’s all ours.”
Sophia arched a dubious brow. “I’m twelve. There’s no one out there who’s going to take me seriously. Doesn’t matter how many weapons I have or how much my mama trains me.”
“I wouldn’t rightly know if she’s th’ best one t’ teach y’. What’d she do before all this happened?” Merle Dixon could be charming when he wanted and sneaky all day long. In this instance, he could be both. He was fishing for information and he was certain she’d take a snap at the line.
The girl eyed him speculatively before reaching down for her bag and pulling out two drink pouches. She giggled when he didn’t have a clue as to what it was. If it didn’t have a pop top or a screw off cap, he wasn’t familiar with it.
“I promise it’s good, Mr. Dixon,” she assured him, sipping through her own tiny straw.
He was pleasantly surprised by the sweetness of the drink despite the miniature straw which made him feel like a five-year-old. But if her need to share with him made her open up, he’d drink the overly sweet beverage without complaint. “Not bad.”
Sophia held the field glasses to her face as she gazed out to where her mother should be, frowning a bit. “My mom was a housewife, but …” she paused, not really wanting to tell a virtual stranger about the cruel reality of living with Ed, “she’s different now.”
Merle leaned back on his hands and stared below at the form of his brother sitting on the grass with a lap full of Carol. “Like she’s a different person entirely?”
The girl gasped. “Yeah … how’d you know?”
He jerked his chin in Daryl’s direction. “’Cause m’ brother’s been actin’ th’ same weird way.”
Sophia stared at him hard. “Is it a good weird or a bad weird? Because I swear, she woke up one day and she wasn’t scared anymore … of anything. It was really strange when she looked at me like I –“
“- was a ghost?” he provided, remembering how Daryl had hugged him that morning.
“Yeahhh.” Sophia bit her lip, wondering if she should say more. “Did he … um … do anything odd? Mom burned breakfast and then took me out to eat before dropping me for a sleepover. Never happened before,” she said with a sniff. “Nobody cooks like my mom, and it’s just not like her to burn something as simple as breakfast. Then when she picked me up the next day, she started shopping. I’m not talking about groceries, back to school or even Christmas shopping. Uh-uh. She started shopping like she was trying to spend everything we had.”
“Cases o’ canned an’ boxed food –“ he added.
“Practical clothes made out of heavy material which would last –“
“Enough guns and ammo to take out a small city –“
“RV like a tank –“
Merle turned his head slowly, his wide-eyed gaze meeting hers. “Like they knew this shit was gonna go down!”
“But how could they know?” she asked suspiciously.
“That, Peach, is the million-dollar question.” He was relieved his brother wasn’t going crazy, but now he had to wonder how many others knew and why he’d been left in the dark.
“I gotta name, you know. It’s Sophia.”
Merle grinned unrepentantly. “Naw, you’re a sweet lil’ Georgia peach,” he said, opting to change the subject. He motioned to the bow slung over the back of her lawn chair. “Y’ any good with that thing? M’ brother always preferred a bow t’ a gun.”
“Mom’s been teaching me, and she’s pretty good.” Sophia winced as she thought of her own progress. “I’m ok with still targets, but I can’t really hit it if it’s moving.”
“Chin up, Peach. If y’ let me, I’ll train y’ t’ be jus’ as good as m’ brother.”
Sophia smiled for the first time since he’d met her. It caused something unfamiliar to tighten his chest, but he pushed the feeling aside, refusing to let this child get under his skin.
She tilted her head to the side, watching him closely as she took his measure. “Are you really going to stick around?” she asked, her voice whisper soft as if she hadn’t really meant to say it aloud.
Merle’s gaze followed Daryl as he took the laundry basket from Carol and followed her out of his line of sight towards the path which would lead them back to the camp. Even if he’d wanted to leave and find a safer place, he knew his brother would never abandon that woman and her daughter. He hadn’t missed the scene Daryl had caused before when he’d found them. Merle had given up on seeing anything close to happiness on the boy’s face, but now that he’d found it, he’d be a first class prick to tear him away from it.
He smirked up at the girl and shrugged a shoulder. Training her would at least relieve the boredom he knew would find him eventually, and hell … if it helped her to survive, he could chalk it up to one more good deed in his brother’s eyes.
“Truth is, kid … what else I got t’ do?”
*.*.*
She pressed a kiss to his stubbled jaw and smiled. The tension didn’t ease from his shoulders; she knew it wouldn’t until he heard the words, and her heart bled for him. The insecurity, the readiness of his body braced for her rejection …
“I’ve never lied to you, Daryl, and I’m not about to start now,” Carol said softly. “I love you … I always have. The bond we forged on the farm when you were looking for Sophia only grew stronger. Yes, we both made mistakes, pushed each other away, but it never dampened what I felt … what I feel for you.”
She missed the soft strands of his hair which she’d once run through her fingers, allowing her fingers instead to trail over his cheek in a gentle caress. “You don’t have to say anything … I just wanted you to know. I couldn’t die without telling you at least once.” She averted her gaze down to where the fingers of her right hand fidgeted with the strap on her knife, blinking back tears. “I wasted so much time because I was afraid my feelings would push you away. That night … It was my last chance.”
Carol tried to smile for him, but it twisted into more of a grimace. Her lip wibbled, and she couldn’t stop the tears which spilled over her lashes. She wouldn’t allow him to speak the words which would shatter her heart … she couldn’t. Being his friend was enough, knowing it was the most he could give her. Without giving him the opportunity to speak, she fled, almost running back to the RV.
She stopped but for a moment, drying her tears and pasting her creepy housewife smile on her lips. When she felt more in control, she went inside, surprised to find Merle and Sophia sitting side by side on the plush sofa and glued to the news broadcast playing on the TV, a huge bowl of popcorn between them.
Sophia was instantly alert as she took in her mother’s red-rimmed eyes. “Mom, what’s wrong?” She looked behind Carol, her gaze searching expectantly for Daryl.
“Nothing … it’s fine,” she said, nodding in Merle’s direction. “I’m glad to see the two of you getting along.” Despite trusting the eldest Dixon to watch over Sophia, she hadn’t expected to find them so comfortable with each other.
The girl’s brow furrowed, anger and worry sparking hotly in her eyes. “Mom, did Daryl say something to you –“
Carol shook her head, trying to reassure her daughter. “No, nothing like that. Everything’s fine. I think I’m just going to lie down for a bit.”
She was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief once the door closed behind her. Sophia was apparently more adept at reading her this time around. It amazed her how different her child was without her father’s influence to drag her down. Now, Carol could wallow in her own self-pity – damnit, she was due – and begin again tomorrow. There was still so much she needed to share with Daryl, plans to make and discussions to be had as to where they were headed.
The thought had barely finished when she felt the door slam against her back, making her stumble forward and catch herself before she could faceplant onto the bed.
*.*.*
Daryl stood frozen where she’d left him on the path, replaying every word she’d spoken in his mind. She loved him … him. Carol loved him! He was tempted to pinch himself to make sure he hadn’t been caught up in another fantasy of her. However, he had never been that creative. Even in his subconscious, he knew he couldn’t replicate the tremor in her voice or the absolute love which had been shining in her eyes.
And then she’d run.
He chuckled to himself. Carol was nearly as bad as he was when it came to running instead of facing their issues head on. She was just as afraid of rejection, but he wasn’t about to let her run far. If he had to follow her on foot all the way back to Atlanta and battle through a herd of the dead, he wouldn’t hesitate.
Daryl set off up the path, laundry basket still tucked against his hip. He set it down on the dinette table as soon as he crossed the threshold of the RV.
“Th’ fuck y’ been, lil’ brother. Yer woman’s all upset, so I’m guessin’ y’ done already stuck yer foot in yer mouth,” Merle drawled, exasperation heavy in the disapproving shake of his head.
Sophia crossed her arms over her chest and glared daggers at him as she tapped angry fingers against her upper arm. Without a word, she climbed into the loft bunk and slammed the curtain closed. He’d have had to be stupid not to recognize her disdain for him.
He wasn’t about to try to explain himself to a twelve-year-old or his busybody brother who watched him, just waiting for a juicy morsel of gossip to amuse him. Instead, he turned on his heel and strode purposefully towards the bedroom where he knew he’d find Carol. The door slammed against something soft, and he cursed inwardly.
He heard her stumbling steps and pushed into the room, his arms curling around Carol’s waist and pulling her back against his chest, steadying her. She stiffened for a moment before his chin came to rest upon her shoulder.
“Y’ gotta stop runnin’ from me, woman,” he whispered against the shell of her ear.
Carol fought back a shiver and turned in his arms to face him, shaking her head in abject denial, her eyes widening as his embrace tightened. “No, I wasn’t –“
“Yeah, y’ were. Y’ cain’t jus’ tell me somethin’ like that an’ then run for th’ hills.” There was no possible way she could hide her emotions from him; he knew her too well. “We’re not them anymore … we’re not who we were before. I don’t wanna be afraid or too closed off t’ take a chance on us.”
“It’s ok,” she managed to force the words past her frozen lips. “You’re still my best friend, Daryl … it’s enough.”
“No, s’not,” he whispered, refusing to let go. Daryl watched a solitary tear trek over her cheek as he loosened his grip and brushed his hand down her arm to twine his fingers with hers. He didn’t want to just be her friend anymore. She was too important to him, to his very existence, to let them continue floundering through the minefield of their emotions. He held her gaze, bringing their joined hands up to rest against his chest where his heart beat frantically. “Yours.”
A shaky smile formed on her lips a moment before he pulled her to him and tucked her head beneath his chin. Elation built in her chest, stealing her breath as she brought their hands to rest over her own heart to mimic his declaration, to assure him she was all in, come what may. “Yours.”
He leaned back minutely, just enough so he could look down, his eyes soft and smoky as he read the happiness in her gaze. “Y’ done with runnin’? We gonna make a go o’ this?”
Carol smiled tenderly, running her hands along his chest on their way to his nape, pleased beyond measure when he didn’t shy away from her touch. In fact, he welcomed it if she were to judge from the shiver which passed through his body. “No more running. I’m not going anywhere without you …” she leaned up and brushed her lips to his, just a feather of a caress. “… or Sophia and Merle … our family.”
Daryl chased her lips, but before they could touch, his brother’s insistent knock sounded on the thin wooden door. He groaned, releasing Carol so he could answer it. “What?!” he growled, more than a little irritated. He knew he was going to catch hell if the lazy smirk on Merle’s face was anything to go by.
“I know y’ in a hurry t’ get yer dick wet –“
“Goddamnit, Merle!” Daryl snarled, his ears turning a deep shade of red as Carol hid a giggle behind her hand.
“- but I was wondering whether or not yer woman wanted us t’ stay here in th’ RV or if she’d rather us pitch our tents.
Carol didn’t wait for Daryl to get over his embarrassment enough to respond. “No, there’s no need for the tents.”
Merle pursed his lips and rocked back on his heels before agreeing with a nod. “If yer sure it won’t be a bother t’ have us underfoot.”
Daryl sighed and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “We wouldn’t be here if she didn’t want us, Merle.”
Carol shot them both a reassuring smile. “He’s right. I feel safer with the both of you here, and there will come a time – quite soon, actually – when we will be thankful to have each other.” She rested a soothing hand on Daryl’s forearm, determination glimmering in her eyes. “I’m going to check on Sophia and get changed for bed. There’s a duffle in the closet with clothes for both you and Merle … just in case you didn’t feel like grabbing your bags from the truck.”
Daryl watched her go, ignoring his brother where he leaned against the door frame with a narrow-eyed glare. Instead of answering Merle’s unasked questions, he retrieved the bag and rummaged through it.
“Yer an asshole, Darylina … y’ know that?!”
The younger Dixon snorted. “Yup. Y’ been tellin’ me that all m’ life. Kinda hard t’ forget when y’ sound like a broken record.”
Daryl tossed a t-shirt and a pair of joggers at his brother, along with boxers and a pair of socks before choosing some for himself. He had to appreciate Carol’s taste in clothes. They were department store quality, and his tank was cut in such a way that his scars wouldn’t be visible to the prying eye.
“So, now she knows what size clothes we wear?” Merle asked, fingering the soft fabric clutched in his hands. “She knew t’ be here like she was jus’ waitin’ for us t’ show up, she’s trainin’ her girl t’ fight those things we've been seein’ on th’ news, she let y’ fawn all over her like y’ was her husband or somethin’, an’ now this. Shit ain’t addin’ up, lil’ brother.”
Daryl kicked off his boots and sat down on the bed, calmly unbuttoning his shirt. “I told y’ I would tell y’ everythin’ in th’ mornin’.” His eyes narrowed dangerously as he whipped the tank over his head and regained his feet, hoping they could refrain from coming to blows. It was never a good idea to give Merle the advantage. “But don’t make me choose, Merle. You’re my brother, my fam’ly … but she is, too. I ain’t leavin’ her.”
“As if I’d ask y’,” Merle grunted, shaking his head. “I done spent th’ last five years tryin’ t’ make up t’ y’ for what th’ old man did.” He didn’t think he’d ever be able to right the wrongs he’d committed, leaving Daryl first to go into the army and then again to a stint in jail, but he knew he’d never stop trying now that he was no longer dependent on drugs. “If she means that much t’ y’, I wouldn’t make y’ leave her behind. “’Sides, that girl’s gonna need more help than what her mama can give her if she’s t’ survive th’ hell comin’ down on us.”
“Merle –“
His brother pointed a finger into his chest, his eyes menacing. “But I want th’ truth, brother. All of it … y’ hear?”
The breath whooshed out of him as Merle left him there to finish changing. He really didn’t know what to make of this reality, this Merle. Whoever or whatever had sent him and Carol back to the beginning had messed with Merle … Sophia, too. It was overwhelming to know his brother was on his side for once. He just wondered if that would still be the case once he told him everything.
*.*.*
His eyes widened, mouth falling open in terrified surprise as Carol slipped back into the room wearing nothing but a pair of skimpy cotton shorts and a strappy little tank top. A wave of heat spread from the crown of his head to the tips of his toes, his body tightening with a desire he hadn’t thought himself capable of feeling. Carol carried the healthy weight she’d maintained before the turn, but he knew after months on the road, she’d grow lean muscle and sinew which would help her thrive in the new world. She wasn’t the most beautiful woman to ever walk a runway, but to him, she was beyond compare. All long slender legs and supple curves wrapped up in a smile which rivaled the very sun, she was … and by some miracle, she was his.
How she had chosen him still baffled him to his very core, but he was no less thankful. Daryl swallowed audibly as he watched her move to the small dresser and apply cream to her face, the scent of vanilla - and a spice he didn’t quite recognize - wafting his way.
He felt dizzy when she turned to him and smiled. That smile she reserved just for him … teasing and dazzling and all-around perfect. The scent grew stronger as he looked down to find her standing before him, her hand cradling his cheek. When had she moved so close?
“Daryl, are you alright?” she asked worriedly. “I’ve been calling your name for a full minute without a response.”
His mouth lifted in a half-moon grin before his brain caught up and he shook off his fugue. “Uh … yeah, I’m fine. Shouldn’t somebody be on watch, though?”
“Merle said he would take watch for a while. He doesn’t trust the perimeter alarm I have set up until he inspects it himself in the morning,” she explained as she dragged the duvet back and crawled into bed.
Still, he hesitated to join her. They hadn’t discussed his own sleeping arrangements and he didn’t want to presume she’d want him to stay with her. Things were still too new and overwhelming, and he had never been one to take advantage.
Carol arched a brow in his direction and patted the bed beside her, ignoring the fiery blush painting his cheeks a lovely red. She gave him the time he needed to make up his mind, reaching into the drawer of her bedside table to a small leather-bound journal.
Daryl shifted from foot to foot for a few seconds before he cursed himself for a dumbass and climbed in beside her, curious about the book. “S’that?”
She placed it in his hands and shrugged. “When I woke up … I really thought it was a dream, at first. Even when I tried to convince myself it wasn’t, I was still plagued with doubt.” She reached over and opened the leather cover to show him the first entry. “I wrote it all down. I was afraid if I didn’t, I would forget. I didn’t want to forget you.”
“It’s all in here?” he asked, flipping page after page and taking in her delicate scrawl.
“Everything I remember happening,” she assured him. “I couldn’t write about what happened at the prison after I was banished, or how y’all were captured at Terminus, or even that first night in the clearing with Negan because I wasn’t there, but everything else … it’s all there.”
He stared at her, awestruck by her ingenuity even though he shouldn’t be surprised. “Why y’ givin’ this t’ me?”
She smiled and stretched out at his side with a yawn. “Because I know you plan to tell Merle everything and I thought it might help. I don’t mind if he reads it. He’s sure to doubt you at first.”
Daryl snorted. “He’s gonna think I’m fuckin’ crazy!”
Carol giggled and reached over to turn off the lamp on her side of the bed. “It doesn’t matter what your brother thinks as long as it keeps him alive.”
He set the journal aside and turned the light off on his side, moving to get up to find a bed. “Gonna let y’ get some sleep,” he said softly, knowing she was on the cusp of sleep.
“No … stay. I’ve just found you again,” she whispered plaintively. “Don’t leave me to sleep without you.”
“Carol –“
“I promise not to grope you in your sleep.”
Daryl huffed out a laugh and crawled beneath the duvet with her. “Stahp. S’not like we ain’t never shared a bed before.” His face was nearly glow in the dark by now. “Uh … that is –“
A small laugh escaped her parted lips as she burrowed into her pillow. “I know what you meant.” She sobered a moment later, a frown marring her brow. “The last time was Atlanta.”
He shifted until he was sharing her pillow, her warm breath fanning over his lips in a comforting caress. He squeezed gently when she searched his hand out and twined their fingers, pulling them up to rest between them. “That ain’t gonna happen this time. We’re gonna fix it.”
Carol sighed deeply. “I’m afraid,” she admitted, something she’d never have confessed to another living soul. “What if we make an even bigger mess of it this time?”
Daryl shook his head and ran his thumb lightly over her knuckles. “Naw, this time we got th’ advantage. We’re gonna make this work.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to her brow in a feathery-soft kiss. “Trust me.”
Notes:
A/n: I want to thank each and every one of you for reading and reviewing this story. After such a long absence (due to my health), to be welcomed back with such love and open arms … it means the world to me.
Chapter Text
Carol blinked blearily at the weak dawn light making its way through the blinds, unsure of just exactly what had woken her. However, it didn’t take her long to recognize the familiar weight enveloping her body, or Daryl’s warm breath as it fanned across her collarbone. Taking stock of her limbs, she could feel every inch of him pressed to her right side, a knee firmly wedged between her thighs and a hand which had snaked beneath her shirt to cup her breast.
She barely stifled a giggle at the thought of him waking to find them in such a position. He would act missish at best and high tail it from the RV to hide in the woods at worst. It would take him a while to adjust to the change in their relationship, she was sure. In the meantime, she could silently appreciate his all-encompassing embrace, knowing if she was patient, it would one day soon grow into more.
Slender fingers curled into his soft shorn locks, once again making her miss his longer hair. She was sure he didn’t like the shorter cut, unable to hide himself behind his bangs as he was wont to do. She had a feeling there would be no sheepish ducks of his head when faced with a younger Rick or Shane. He now had too much experience under his belt, confidence which had grown in the knowledge that he was loved and wanted. He would have her and Merle to remind him every day as the others came to love and appreciate him, too.
Carol worried about Sophia the most. Her daughter hadn’t been impressed with the younger Dixon. She was going to have to have a long talk with her girl about the state of things and hope Sophia could accept Daryl’s presence in her life. The fates might think they were doing her a favor by making Sophia stronger – and in some ways they had - but there was a bit of attitude which had developed that Carol had no idea how to handle.
She tried to clear her mind and simply concentrate on the lovely sensations coursing through her. She scraped her nails gently across Daryl’s scalp as she’d wanted to do for longer than she could even remember, closing her eyes in the hopes of drifting off again. But it wasn’t meant to be as his fingers tightened on her breast and heat flooded her core.
Carol fought down on the urge to clamp her thighs around his knee, refusing to trap him when he woke and sought to flee the bed … and her presence. Instead, she continued to caress him as if nothing were amiss, trailing one hand to slip beneath the neck of his tank to knead the tension at the top of his spine. She took it as a good sign when he groaned and burrowed closer into the crook of her neck.
“Go back to sleep. The alarm hasn’t even gone off yet,” she whispered, not wanting to be heard through the paper-thin barrier separating the bedroom from the rest of the RV.
Daryl brushed a kiss to the groove of her clavicle and smiled against her skin. “Naw, y’ know once I’m awake there ain’t no goin’ back t’ sleep.”
Her eyes widened as she heard that deep graveled tone take on a hint of teasing, her gaze flying to meet his as he lifted his head. In a blink, the hand he’d had buried beneath her shirt skimmed over her hip and then lower to grasp her ass and pull her even further beneath him. Well, so much for thinking he’d run. What the hell?!
“Daryl –“
He nuzzled her nose with his. “Mornin’,” he whispered against her lips before claiming them in a gentle kiss.
Carol melted into him as he tentatively sought her out, moving slowly as if unsure of his welcome. Her arms tightened around him, her leg anchoring over his hip as her heel dug into the back of his thigh to pull him closer. How many times had she dreamed of him like this over the years? Too many to count, she thought, gasping as his tongue swept over her lower lip in sweet exploration.
He pulled back minutely, his smoky blue gaze seeking approval. “This ok?” he asked, his fingers caressing the skin exposed above her shorts. “Tell me now, an’ I’ll stop.”
Breathing labored, she shook her head. “Don’t you dare. You don’t know how long I’ve waited to feel you like this.”
His hand snaked beneath her shirt once more as her fingers twisted in his hair. The pressure against her lips was a little firmer, more certain, as he kissed her again, reveling in her taste and the little gasping moans which escaped her.
“Ain’t never really wanted t’ kiss nobody … before you,” he told her, nibbling along her bottom lip from one corner to the other.
Carol stilled, unsure of what to think of his confession. Despite admitting their feelings towards one another, she hadn’t expected him to be quite so articulate in declaring his feelings. “Are … am I … your first kiss, Daryl?” she asked gently, cupping either side of his neck and pushing him back enough to see his face. It burned brightly with embarrassment, but his eyes were clear and blinding in their honesty.
He met her gaze head-on and nodded. He sighed and moved to sit against the built-in headboard before pulling her up to straddle his thighs. If he was going to give her the low-down on his sullied past, he was going to take full advantage of the comfort only her arms could provide.
Daryl sighed and clasped both of her hands in his, afraid the grimace on his face would be permanently etched there. It was hard to breathe, his chest tight with the sensation of drowning and fear clutched at him, but he refused to shy away from her. Those days were done where he’d felt the need to hide.
Carol leaned into him and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, a reassuring smile lingering on her lips. “You know you can tell me anything … or nothing at all. I would never push you.”
“I know that, but … that day … when I woke up … I swore t’ god if he gave me another chance with y’, I wouldn’t waste it. I wouldn’t keep anythin’ from y’ anymore.” He brought her hands to his lips and dropped a butterfly kiss to her knuckles. “I meant what I said t’ y’ last night. There ain’t never gonna be anybody else for me … you’re it, an’ I’m all in … no matter what. I jus’ … I ain’t never been good at all this relationship stuff. Hell, I still got issues with touch.”
Tears sprang to her eyes and spilled over her lashes, her heart overflowing with more love than she could possibly contain. She pinched the inside of her thigh – hard – to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. “Daryl -“
He chewed anxiously at his lower lip for a long moment, trying valiantly to find the words. “Sometimes, I can’t tell what’s real an’ what new memories have been put in my head, but in both realities, m’ father was a sadistic sum’bitch. Jackson was scared t’ death me or Merle was gonna turn queer or somethin’. Dunno if he did th’ same t’ Merle, him being a good ten years older’n me, but it wouldn’t surprise me none.”
Carol curled up against his chest and pulled the duvet up to cover them both, knowing it would be easier for him to unburden himself if he didn’t have to maintain eye contact. “What did he do?” she whispered, twining their fingers and bringing their joined hands between them to rest over his heart.
“I … mighta been sixteen, I guess. I started eyein’ this girl a few houses down; real pretty with long red hair and bright green eyes.” Daryl leaned his head back and closed his eyes, a shudder rippling through his body. “Never thought she’d look twice at me … ‘til one day she did. Jus’ outta th’ blue, she started talkin’ t’ me. She began taggin’ along with me out in th’ woods like she enjoyed spendin’ time with me.”
Carol felt a shiver of dread skirt up her spine, pretty sure she had a good idea of what he would tell her.
“She snuck in m’ window one night. Jackson was at th’ bar or wherever th’ hell he went after work, an’ Merle was in th’ army by this time. Was jus’ me an’ her … alone. Shoulda known somethin’ was wrong about her when she wouldn’t let me kiss her.” He raked a frustrated hand through his hair. “I mean, what did I really know about girls? I was a kid an’ she was lettin’ me touch her. I thought she cared about me.”
Carol squeezed his hand and pressed a kiss to his collarbone, grounding him in the moment as his body trembled beneath her.
“My pa got home jus’ when she was gettin’ dressed. Busted on up in my room, an’ I thought I was dead for sure. But … but instead he looked at her with this great big grin on his face. He asked her if she made a man outta his boy? Then he slipped her fifty bucks an’ sent her on home.” His voice dropped in register, the weight of pain and humiliation in his tone overwhelming. “He played me ... used me. Didn’t want t’ have nothin’ t’ do with girls after that. S’why I couldn’t …”
Carol wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her brow to his. “Is this why you pushed me away that night on the bus when I asked if you wanted to screw around? You thought I was simply teasing you?”
Daryl nodded, his hands settling on her hips. “Yeah … thought it was a game t’ you. Never thought you’d really want me like that. Been told all m’ life I ain’t nothin’ but redneck trash, an’ here y’ are this classy lady so far above me I’da needed a step ladder t’ kiss your toes.”
She withdrew enough to meet his gaze head on, her hand curling around his chin, fingers splayed over his cheek. “I love you,” she whispered fervently, the tear tracks on her face belying her firm tone. “I have since the farm, and I always will. Nothing will ever change how I feel about you, Daryl.”
“I know, but I needed y’ t’ see why I’m so closed off. I want y’ more than anythin’ in this world or th’ next, but I’m still scared I’ma disappoint y’. I … I jus’ need y’ t’ understand, t’ be patient. I’ll learn what y’ like soon enough.”
Carol huffed out a laugh and melted further into his chest. “Oh, sweetheart, you act as if I have everything figured out,” she snorted. “I’m about as messed up as they come. She leaned in and planted a soft kiss on his lips. “We’ll figure it out together, jus’ like we do everything.” She scooted further onto his lap until her groin was flush with his, smiling as the breath hissed out of him and his eyes darkened. “Does it feel good when I touch you?”
“Gawd, yes!” he groaned, burrowing against the crook of her neck, his arms banding about her waist to pull her closer. “Only you.”
“Do you like the way I feel in your arms, Daryl?” she purred silkily, circling her hips in an effort to relieve some of the tension between her legs.
He nipped sharply at the pulse point beneath her jaw and trailed wet kisses down her neck, his body tightening with need. His only answer was a primal growl which somewhat resembled her name.
Carol’s fingers twisted in his short locks, desperately clinging to him as he flipped her onto her back and settled between her legs, his lips crashing into hers with abandon. She crossed her ankles over his back as she wrapped herself around him, keening low in her throat as his cloth-covered erection ground into her with just the right amount of pressure. She’d been dreaming about this moment for years … which is why she tossed the alarm clock as hard as she could against the wall when it wailed out its wake-up call.
“Y’ gotta be shittin’ me,” Daryl groaned forlornly, dropping his head against her shoulder.
Before she could respond over the din of their labored breathing, Carol heard the thud of Sophia’s feet hit the floor as she dropped from the loft and Merle’s morning greeting. “Damn! I hadn’t realized it was so late!”
Daryl flopped over onto his back and threw an arm over his eyes, focusing on reining in his breathing while ignoring the incessant throb of his cock. His hands clenched and released in frustration, wanting nothing more than to drag her back into his arms and pick up where they’d left off. However, he also wanted to get out there with Sophia and try to get to know her now as he hadn’t had the chance to do before.
“So, what’re we doin’ this mornin’?” he asked, watching his woman pull a pair of jogging pants and a tank top from the dresser.
Carol tossed them aside to hover over him, one hand braced on the bed on either side of his head. She grinned happily as she dropped a quick kiss to his lips. “Well, me and Sophia are going for our morning run before breakfast, and you are going to have that nice long chat with your brother.”
He shot her a dirty look, his eyes narrowed and his lip curling in disdain. “Y’ jus’ had t’ remind me of that, didn’t y’?”
She sobered instantly. “It’s going to be fine, Daryl. You can do this.”
Daryl swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up, raking both hands over his face. “Still say he’s gonna think I’m batshit.”
Carol pulled on her running shoes and made her way to the door. “Only one way to find out.”
*.*.*
Merle heard her feet the second they hit the floor. He’d been up most of the night atop the RV, trying to keep watch, however; he hadn’t been able to stop himself from dozing now and then. Just before dawn, he’d rummaged through the refrigerator and carried his breakfast fixings outside to prepare over the fire pit so as not to disturb anyone still sleeping. If it had just been Daryl, he wouldn’t have given two shits about whether or not he’d have woken him. He probably would’ve made extra noise just so the boy would have to get up and keep him company. But he wouldn’t do that to the girl and her mama. He had manners when it suited him.
He poked his head through the screen door and grinned at the little peach, watching as she rubbed her eyes and grumbled under her breath while pulling out a bottle of juice from the fridge. She simply eyed him as she drank and then moved off to grab some clothes and head to the miniscule bathroom to change.
He wasn’t expecting her to join him outside moments later dressed in sweats and running shoes with her knife and handgun holstered at her hip. “Hungry, Peach?”
Sophia tied her hair up in a ponytail and began stretching, but he could see she was curious. “You cook, too, Mr. Dixon?” she asked, taking in the grits and scrambled eggs, licking her lips when her gaze moved to the rabbits roasting over the fire.
Merle shrugged. “I cook enough t’ get by.” He pointed a finger in her direction. “And cut it out with that Mr. Dixon crap.”
Sophia nodded, pleased with the friendly smile he shot her despite the sharpness of his tone. “Well, it smells great,” she said, continuing to stretch. “I can’t wait to have some after my run.”
He sat back on the log where he was perched and arched a brow in her direction. “Your run? Who in their right mind would willingly go out runnin’ in this heat?”
“Me. Me and Mom run every morning. She says it will get us in good shape to outrun the walkers,” she explained, hands on her hip as she bounced on the balls of her feet. “Twice around the quarry is only about two miles. Wanna come?”
Merle snorted. “No … an’ you don’t either. She ain’t up yet, an’ y’ ain’t goin’ out there by yerself.”
Sophia’s lips spread while in a Cheshire grin. “I think you don’t want to come because you can’t keep up with me.”
“Girl! I’ll have y’ know –“
“Later, Merle.” She shot out of camp in a dust trail that left him staggered.
“Sophia! Get yer ass back here, girl!” he bellowed.
She stopped at the edge of the tree line and waved before disappearing into the woods with a giggle. She’d actually laughed at him. Merle abandoned his cup of coffee and the food he’d been cooking, dropping the tin cup as he bolted after her.
Sophia stayed ahead of him as she kept to a well-worn path she and Carol had carved over the course of the last month and a half, turning back every now and then to toss a tinkling laugh over her shoulder. “C’mon, Merle, gonna have to do better than that if you want to win.”
He huffed, his chest burning. “I ain’t racin’ yer ass! I’m tryin’ t’ make sure nothin’ don’t jump out an’ eat y’ before I can get y’ back t’ camp. What th’ hell’s yer mama thinkin’ lettin’ y’ run off like this?!”
Merle nearly didn’t see the low hanging branch in time to stop himself from falling on his ass. Sophia merely hopped it like a hurdle and never slowed her pace. When they left the trees for the rockier terrain leading up the mountain and around the lake, he stopped to catch his breath, bracing his hands against his knees.
Sophia jogged around him just out of arm’s reach. “Looks like you need to get in shape yourself, Merle.” And then she was sprinting off again.
He dragged his feet forward and clenched his jaw, setting off after her again. “Fuck! A-Ain’t no way I signed up fer this shit.” Breath ragged, he raised his voice enough to yell, “Jus’ y’ wait! Y’ gotta stop sometime, lil’ missy!”
*.*.*
Daryl’s head whipped around so fast; he was sure Carol heard the bones crack. She seemed equally puzzled when she looked around and could find neither Merle nor Sophia. “Th’ hell? Both th’ truck an’ th’ bike are still here.”
“I’m sure they’re not far.” Carol climbed atop the RV and brought the field glasses up to her eyes. She could feel the tension radiating from Daryl, but she wanted to make sure there was no reason to panic before she, too, gave in to it. She followed the trail with the glasses, a laugh bubbling out of her. “Found them.”
Daryl took the small pair of binoculars from her and shot her a quizzical look. She pointed off to the right where they were rounding the lake, high on the mountain trail. Her shoulders shook with silent laughter as he snorted. “Th’ hell’s he doin’? Merle don’t run unless somethin’ is chasin’ him.”
“Looks like Sophia either talked him into it, or took off without him and he’s trying to catch her.”
Carol wasn’t worried in the slightest, knowing Merle wouldn’t allow any harm to come to her. She wasn’t happy Sophia had left without her and would be having a word with her, but she couldn’t help but be amused at her antics with the elder Dixon. A frown creased her brow. She only hoped her girl would warm up to Daryl instead of continuing to give him the cold shoulder.
Daryl followed her down the ladder and removed the slightly charred rabbits from the spit. “Seems Merle’s been up longer than all o’ us. Want some breakfast? Coffee?”
She bent at the waist to stretch and peered at him through her legs, her smile widening as she took in the faint blush coloring his cheeks and how he averted his gaze away from her backside. “Save some for us? We don’t usually eat before our run.”
He lowered himself down on a log and spooned some eggs onto a tin plate, having no qualms about starting without her. His stomach churned with nerves, not looking forward to the talk he’d promised his brother, but he wasn’t one to let good food go to waste.
Daryl shoveled a forkful of grits and eggs into his mouth, chewing quickly before nodding in her direction. “When’d y’ start runnin’ in th’ mornings? Never did that before ... did y’?”
“No, Ed wouldn’t have liked that either. He’d have insisted I was having an affair and running the excuse to meet my lover,” Carol said sourly. She downed the bottle of water she’d brought out with her and bounced lightly on the balls of her feet, ready to join Sophia when her daughter returned to camp. “Took it up once we got here. We got shunted to the past, Daryl … unfortunately, I landed in my former body. There’s a lot of muscle which needs to be strengthened and toned. I don’t even want to think of running from walkers in this shape.”
Carol’s smile was self-deprecating as she waved a hand at her fuller figure, and he felt his hackles rise. His gaze swept appreciatively over her form and the color in his cheeks spread to his ears as his remembered their earlier activities. “I happen t’ like how y’ look. You’re healthy an’ beautiful … not t’ say … I mean … fuck, you’re gorgeous in every way whether y’ like this or a few pounds thinner.”
She moved to sit at his side and pulled his free hand between both of her own. “I love you,” she said sweetly against his lips. “And it’s nice to know you like how I look.” Her tone was teasing, but she couldn’t hide the gleam of happiness in her eyes from him. Ed had never done anything but tear her down. It would always take her by surprise to hear such sweet things from Daryl.
His lips chased hers as she pulled back, her gaze drawn to the path which led into the camp from the south. He knew it would just be moments before Sophia was sighted and Carol would leave to join her. “Love y’, too. Now, go on … enjoy your run with Soph.”
“Don’t let Merle intimidate you. Just tell him the truth and you’ll be fine. We have to trust him with this, Daryl. I don’t think we can do it alone.”
Sophia didn’t break stride as she passed the RV, only sparing a moment to shoot her mother a smile when Carol fell in beside her. Merle collapsed on the log next to Daryl, lost his balance, and promptly fell over onto his back, gasping for breath.
Daryl snorted, pouring himself a cup of coffee before glancing at Merle over his shoulder. “Have a nice run, brother? Never took y’ for th’ joggin’ sort. “
Merle stared up at him through the narrowed slits of his eyes. “Shut th’ fuck up, Darylina! Goddamn brat is fast as shit. Needs her ass spanked for leavin’ th’ safety o’ th’ camp for that exercise bullshit,” he huffed.
Daryl sipped at his coffee. “Y’ wouldn’t lay a hand on that girl, an’ y’ damn well know it.” In either reality, he was confident his brother would never physically harm a child … or a woman, for that matter.
His brother pulled himself upright and resumed his seat, pouring his own coffee as his breathing somewhat settled. “No, but I’d sure as shit tie her ass t’ a chair. She shouldn’t be runnin’ off unsupervised.” He took a sip of the bitter brew and nodded in the direction Carol had disappeared with Sophia. “I ain’t sure yer woman can protect her, either.”
Daryl bristled. “Don’t underestimate her, Merle. She’s a sight bit tougher than y’ think.”
“Yeah, an’ how do y’ happen t’ know that? Y’ work, y’ hunt, y’ might go t’ th’ bar on Friday night for a beer or two … y’ don’t date! I’ve literally seen y’ run from women. We’re always t’gether. If you’d’ve met this woman, I’d’ve known about her.” He drained his cup and reached for a piece of rabbit which wasn’t too charred from his careless abandonment. “Now, I want th’ truth. Y’ meet her online or somethin’? One o’ those social media or datin’ sites?”
“No!”
“Well, she ain’t jus’ poofed up outta thin air.”
“I wanna tell y’ … I do,” Daryl sighed, not as affected by Merle’s teasing as he’d once been, “but it’s crazy. I don’t want y’ t’ look at me like I’ve gone round th’ bend.”
Merle’s eyes narrowed, a calculating gleam in their icy depths. “Ain’t I tried t’ always take care o’ y’? I ain’t perfect, but I am yer blood. That counts for more than y’ know, boy. Yeah, I made m’ mistakes, but I’m also tryin’ t’ make up fer it. Y’ oughta know y’ can talk t’ me ‘bout shit.”
Daryl dropped his head into his hands and groaned inwardly, both realities dueling. He was right … in this reality, his brother was a changed man, but he couldn’t seem to just forget how Merle had been before. Tell him the truth, Carol’s words reverberated through his head.
He poked the fire with a long stick, watching the tip catch and begin to burn, needing that focal point to find the right way to release the words stuck behind his teeth. “We met Carol, her husband an’ daughter a week after th’ virus went global … right here at this quarry. It was jus’ afore dusk on August twenty-eighth. We drove up here because you’d seen ‘em while we was out there scoutin’, thought it’d be a good idea t’ warm up t’ ‘em an’ then rob ‘em of all their shit. Wasn’t jus’ them, either … they were jus’ part o’ th’ larger group. Y’ didn’t have no trouble charmin’ th’ deputy into givin’ us a spot in camp.”
Merle’s mouth dropped open as Daryl finally lifted his gaze up enough to briefly meet his stunned gaze. “Th’ fuck?! That’s –“
“Crazy, right? Fuckin’ batshit is what it is,” he hissed, “but it’s still what happened. I’ve known her for two years or more. It’s not easy t’ keep up with a calendar when you’re runnin’ from the dead, so it could be more. Was after she lost her girl that … I looked for Sophia when she went missin’ – really was th’ only one who tried t’ find her – an’ Carol got close, made me wanna stay with th’ group. She was m’ friend, least that’s how it started.”
Merle ran a hand over his short-cropped hair before it settled on the nape of his neck as he stared incredulously at his brother. “Brother, there ain’t no such thing as time travel.”
Daryl shot up off th’ log where he was perched an’ paced a circle around the fire pit. “Y’ think I don’t know that?! I don’t know what higher power is fuckin’ with us, a’right. All I know is that Carol died,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion as that statement hit the air. “I watched her die in my arms, Merle. She thinks I mighta died, too, because th’ next thing I knew, I was wakin’ up in our apartment two months before the world went t’ shit!”
“A’right, boy, settle down. Don’t get yer drawers all tied up in a knot, for fuck’s sake.” He kept his voice calm belying the worry creasing his brow. “So, s’pose what yer sayin’ is true … that how y’ knew to start with yer doomsday preppin’? That how y’ knew t’ come here where you’d find yer girl?”
Daryl nodded as he continued to pace. “Wanted t’ get out here early so I could deal with Ed when they got here. There wasn’t no way in hell I was gonna stand by an’ watch him use her for his own personal punchin’ bag ... not again.” He sighed and chanced a glance at his brother. “I didn’t know what t’ expect, didn’t know if she’d have her memories like I did. S’why I was surprised t’ see her and Soph when we got here.”
Merle couldn’t hold it in any longer and let the laughter flow from his lips. “A’right, lil’ brother, what’s th’ punchline. I mean, c’mon … time travel?”
“It ain’t a joke, Merle!”
“An’ I’m jus’ s’posed t’ take y’ at yer word? This is crazy talk! Without anythin’ t’ back up yer claims. I’d be more willin’ t’ believe y’ got ahold o’ some bad acid.”
Daryl threw his hands up in the air and stormed towards the RV, wrenching the door open and disappearing inside. He grabbed Carol’s journal off the nightstand and hurried back outside, thrusting it into Merle’s hands. “It’s all there. Everythin’ we went through … it’s there. Our group, y’ gettin’ left behind in Atlanta, losin’ Sophia on the highway, th’ herd what overtook Hershel’s farm, that first winter on th’ road, th’ prison, you sacrificin’ yerself t’ save us all …”
All traces of mirth vanished in an instant. “What th’ hell y’ talkin’ about, boy? Y’ wrote –“
“Nah,” Daryl shook his head, “Carol did. She wrote it all down so we wouldn’t forget. Read it … then when everythin’ starts happenin’, you’ll see I ain’t crazy an’ I ain’t lyin.”
Notes:
A/n: Well, really … did anyone think he’d take Daryl at his word? Merle believes in things he can see, touch, taste, smell and hear. He’s not going to believe in something as outrageous as time travel. The journal is going to be a real eye-opener for him. He’ll eventually come around, I’m sure. Anyway, I really hope y’all enjoyed the chapter. Thank y’all so much for reading and reviewing. I still cannot thank you enough for all the love you’ve been giving this story. I’m sorry this was posted so late today, but between the doctor appointments and runny after my merry band of misfit kids, it was the best I could do. See you next week! *love and hugs*
Chapter Text
“That was a dirty trick you pulled on Merle,” Carol chided, having no problem keeping pace with her daughter as they jogged along the trail. She’d held her tongue until they’d ventured far enough away from camp, but she couldn’t let Sophia’s behavior slide.
Sophia rolled her eyes, keeping her gaze to the path rather than looking at the certain disapproval on her mother’s face. “Aw, come on, Mom. One measly lap wasn’t going to kill him or anything.”
“How do you know that? People don’t run around with ‘hey, I have a heart condition and could collapse at any second’ tattooed on their forehead. What would you have done if he’d collapsed on the trail? How would you have helped him? Would you have been thinking clearly enough to even try?” Carol questioned.
“I didn’t think … Mom, I swear, I didn’t mean to hurt him!” Sophia wailed, skidding to a halt.
Carol stopped and rested her hands on her hips. “That’s right … you didn’t think. You meant it as a game, and I can’t really blame you for that, baby, but the world isn’t as it once was,” she tried to reason. “Merle was trying to watch out for you … something he takes very seriously. I know you’re twelve –“
“Almost thirteen,” Sophia grumbled, her gaze planted firmly on her running shoes.
“Regardless,” Carol huffed, “with the dead rising and trying to eat us, we can’t relax our guard even for a quick game of tag.” She pulled her daughter roughly into her arms and pressed her face against Sophia’s golden locks. “Please, baby girl, I just can’t bear the thought of losing you.” Not again, she added silently.
“I promise to do better, Mom,” Sophia whispered against Carol’s chest. “I’ll be nice to your friends, too … even Daryl.”
Carol pulled back, dread settling in the pit of her stomach. “Why do you say it like that? Even Daryl? He’s been nothing less than nice to you. I know he’s not the best conversationalist, but –“
Sophia averted her gaze. “It’s nothing. I just don’t want you to get hurt, Mom.”
Carol slipped her hand beneath her daughter’s chin, lifting it so she’d meet her gaze, one brow arched. “Sophia, he’s nothing like Ed. Daryl isn’t going to hurt me. He’s the best man I’ve ever known.”
A spark flashed briefly in Sophia’s hazel eyes as she raised them to her mother. “You said you’ve known him for a long time … then why haven’t I ever met him before? How’d he just know to find you here?”
Carol raised a hand to her brow, rubbing insistently at the pressure there as she tried to come up with a feasible answer that didn’t sound like an outright lie. “I can’t really explain it, Sophia. Most of the time, it doesn’t make sense even to me, and I experienced it firsthand. I just need you to trust me. Can you do that?”
Sophia huffed out an undignified snort … the one her mother hated. “Fine. Keep your grownup secrets and leave poor lil’ ol’ me in the dark. Poor Sophia who can’t think above a fourth-grade level,” she deadpanned with as much sarcasm as she could muster. Considering she was an honor student who’d never brought home anything lower than an A and was, in-fact, in the seventh grade, it was a well put on act.
Carol groaned and nudged Sophia to continue on the trail, all the while she was choking on silent laughter. “Cheeky little minx. I’m going to hold you to your promise to be nice.”
The girl shot Carol a grin, never one to hold a grudge where her mom was concerned. She held up a three-fingered salute, her grin turning Cheshire-like. “Scout’s honor.”
“Sophia, you were never in girl scouts!”
*.*.*
Merle scowled down at the book in his hands. He’d disappeared into the woods – well away from the trail the girls had carved through the trees – and hunkered down against an oak. He was almost scared to open the little leather-bound journal, afraid everything Daryl had revealed would be written on the pages within.
It was beyond crazy!
How could he give in and drink the koolaid? Accept what they were saying as fact?
Because his brother wasn’t a liar. It was as simple as that. Daryl had given up trying to lie at an early age because he had too many tells. His ears would turn beat red, his gaze would plummet down around his shoes and his voice would pitch too high. Not to mention, Merle would cuff him around the head if he caught him lying. It was self-preservation to stick to the truth.
Whether or not it was true was a moot point. His brother believed it. And what kind of asshole would he be to spit on Carol’s hospitality. She’d taken them in, welcomed them and treated them as if they were her family. Besides, he could see how much his brother loved the woman. The least he could do was play along if it made Daryl happy. It wasn’t as though he could just check him into the hospital for a full psychiatric evaluation.
Merle sighed and raked a hand over his short-cropped hair before trying to massage the tension from his stiff nape. If anything, he was even more determined now to keep his brother safe. He stared down at the journal again and began to read, wanting to gain as much insight into Daryl’s delusion as he could. Forewarned was forearmed, after all.
He was slightly impressed with Carol as the journal went on to explain how she believed everything to be a dream before then moving into crazy town and finally into belief. He could easily relate. When he’d been heavily into the drug scene, there had been entire weeks where he hadn’t been able to differentiate between hallucinations and reality.
Merle frowned as he read about her dead husband - who hadn’t been so dead the first time around - and found himself nodding along to her tale of some former deputy beating the crap out of him. It made him wonder why he hadn’t volunteered himself for the job, or why Daryl hadn’t intervened.
A curse slipped past his lips …
I remember the fear I felt when the group left for Atlanta. I understood it was necessary, but deep down I just knew something awful was going to happen. Our group was small, and the city was filled with the dead. It was only natural to assume the odds would be against them. Glenn had volunteered to go alone - he’d proven to be quick and quiet – but Shane wouldn’t hear of it. In the end, Merle, Andrea, Morales, Jackie and T-Dog joined him. The need for basic essentials for the camp drove them into the city.
I wasn’t expecting them to bring back someone new … or leave Merle behind.
“Th’ fuck?!”
The new deputy explained how Merle had been out of control. He’d tried to beat T-Dog to death and then when Rick had tried to intercede, Merle had turned on him, too. Rick had had no other choice but to handcuff him to that pipe on the roof. It was just a series of unfortunate events which led to the key being dropped and no way to free Merle.
Daryl didn’t take it well when he was told of his brother’s fate. Granted, he threw an entire stringer of squirrels at Rick and then pulled his knife on him, but I thought it was bad form for Shane to sneak up behind Daryl and get him in a choke hold.
Merle smirked at the mental image of his brother throwing game at a couple of cops, but the rage steadily brewing in his gut for these two men he hadn’t even met yet kept him from laughing.
At least Rick tried to do the right thing by returning to Atlanta with Daryl to set Merle free and bring him back to camp … though it was too late. By the time they arrived, Merle had sawed off his right hand to free himself and was nowhere to be found.
He slammed the little journal closed and shot to his feet, his angry stride carrying him back to camp. Daryl had backed the truck in closer to the RV and had the tailgate down, using it to clean the guns he’d brought. He barely looked up when he heard Merle return to camp.
Merle shook his hand in front of Daryl’s face. “I cut m’ fuckin’ hand off?! Who th’ fuck does that shit?”
Daryl squinted against the sun and shook his head. “You, apparently. That as far as y’ got?”
He snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. “It was far enough t’ know all this is a load o’ bullshit! There ain’t no way I’d be stupid enough t’ cut m’ fuckin’ hand off.”
“Y’ was left alone on th’ roof of a buildin’ crawlin’ with walkers, didn’t think anyone was comin’ back for y’, exposed t’ th’ elements. Y’ cain’t really say what you’d do now if put in th’ same situation. Then again, y’ ain’t th’ same person y’ was then,” Daryl reasoned, turning back to cleaning the rifle in his hands.
“Th’ hell’s that s’posed t’ mean?”
Daryl smirked. “I thought y’ said y’ read th’ journal.”
“I did, but –“
“It means things’re different this time,” Daryl tried to explain, setting the rifle aside and giving his brother his full attention. “Last time, Carol’s piece o’ shit husband was alive. I dunno why he’s dead in this reality, but I cain’t say I’m sorry. When we were here before, y’ wasn’t th’ same either. Before the world went t’ hell, we didn’t have jobs or a nice apartment or money in th’ bank. All y’ fuckin’ cared about was your habit an’ where y’ was gonna get your next fix.”
Merle let himself drop onto the tailgate, stunned. “Naw … I ain’t … I learned m’ lesson with that shit, lil’ brother. I promised y’ –“
“I know y’ did … an’ y’ stuck t’ it. Like I said, you’re different now.” Daryl tapped the journal still clutched in Merle’s left hand. “But before, yeah. Y’ got left an’ then sawed off your hand t’ get away. Thought it was your only chance t’ survive. Y’ had no idea I’d come back for y’ in time.”
“I still don’t know if I believe this tripe,” Merle spat off to the side.
“Read th’ journal, Merle. All of it. Then when things start happenin’ jus’ th’ way it’s written, you’ll see it’s true.”
*.*.*
Daryl gravitated towards the edge of the lake where Carol and Sophia worked at drawing water and then boiling it over the fire she’d built, readying it for drinking and cooking.
She beckoned him forward as she perched herself on a wide, flat rock. “How’d it go with Merle?” she asked quietly.
He sighed and sat down beside her. “He’s readin’ your journal. Still don’t quite believe it though. Always was as stubborn as th’ day is long.”
Carol offered him a patient smile. “Let me guess … he doesn’t think he’s the type to saw off his own hand?”
Daryl shook his head, his gaze focused on Sophia as she dumped another milk jug full of water into the pot over the fire.
“He’ll come around eventually when the rest of our group shows up and he’s faced with reality.”
He opted to change the subject. He didn’t want to think of his brother just then, nor his refusal to listen to reason. Merle would just need time to adjust, Daryl was sure.
“I cleaned all th’ guns I brought with us an’ stored ‘em under th’ bed. Then I made some room in one o’ th’ storage compartments for th’ foodstuffs so I could empty out th’ bed o’ th’ truck. Ain’t no use in advertisin’ what we got if we don’t have t’.” He was pleased with her nod of approval. “So, why y’ out here boilin’ water when y’ still have those five-gallon containers under th’ RV?”
Carol shrugged. “How long do you think those will last once the others arrive? Those are for emergency use only. I also have one of those pitchers with the filter in case we aren’t able to boil any drinking water.” At his unasked question, she nodded. “Yes, I have plenty of filters, Daryl. I think we both went a little crazy trying to prepare for what we know is coming.”
He gently bumped her shoulder with his. “I didn’t want you an’ Soph goin’ without th’ basics … not again. She’s too damn skinny as it is.”
She bumped back. “High metabolism. Which is a good thing because it’s allowing her all the energy she needs to get in shape to fend off walkers. Daryl –“
Daryl slipped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in close. “We ain’t losin’ her this time. If by some chance we get separated, she’ll know how t’ survive ‘til I can find her.”
“Until we can find her,” Carol amended. “I’m not standing idly by while you do all the work.”
He caught a flash of anger in the look Sophia shot at him, and he flinched. “Any idea why she hates me?”
Carol drew back sharply as if he’d slapped her before glancing over at Sophia where she sat poking at the fire with a long stick. “What? Sophia doesn’t … has she said anything to you?”
Daryl kept his voice low so her daughter wouldn’t overhear their conversation. “Naw, she ain’t had t’ say nothin’. I can feel it every time she looks at me. S’not like last time when she was scared o’ her shadow an’ trippin’ over her own feet. She’s strong … she’s got fire an’ determination now. But she sure as hell don’t like me.”
“Daryl, I’m sure –“
He pressed a kiss to her temple and gave her a little squeeze, the blood thrumming with happiness through his veins that he was able to show her affection when he wished. “It’s ok. She’s entitled t’ her opinion. Won’t stop me from doin’ all I can t’ protect her.”
“I’m not at all happy about this,” Carol mumbled sulkily. “I’ll talk to her.”
“No, y’ won’t. This ain’t about you, woman,” he murmured, his mind searching for a way to smooth things over with the girl. “But I don’t think it’d hurt for me t’ spend some time with her. Maybe teach her more about that recurve y’ bought her. She any good with it?”
Carol relaxed into his side and rested her head on his shoulder with a sigh. It was easy to remember all the times at the prison or in Alexandria when she would have given anything to have his comforting arms around her to ease her grief, and she couldn’t help but be thankful once again for the second chance they’d been given.
“She hits the majority of her targets with the bow. Her accuracy is better than with the handgun.” Carol grimaced at the thought of Sophia’s frustration with the .45.
Daryl nodded towards the water boiling away. “Y’ got this?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Sophia! C’mon, girl, grab your bow. Want y’ t’ show me what y’ can do with that thing,” he called to her, smiling briefly at Carol before rising to his feet and slinging the crossbow off his back. “Y’ got targets set up out here?”
The stick dropped from Sophia’s trembling hand as she froze, her eyes widening on the hunter. “Um …” she stammered, looking over at her mother who nodded approvingly.
“Y’ wanna learn, or not?” he challenged.
Her hazel eyes narrowed furiously, and a muscle twitched in her jaw as she clenched her teeth, but she snatched up her bow and pointed off towards the tree line where her targets were set up. She sent her mother one more desperate, pleading look, but she could see Carol was all for the extra instruction and wouldn’t help her out of it. Finally, she rose from her knees and stalked angrily after Daryl.
Sophia stopped on the little square she’d drawn in the dirt when they’d first arrived at the quarry and cocked her little hip out, her bow held loosely in her left hand. “I know how to shoot, so I don’t know how much more you can really teach me.”
Daryl took in her obstinate posture, but maintained a firm grip on his usually formidable temper. He needed to be patient with the girl until he could figure out why she disliked him so much. “Y’ can always learn somethin’ new from someone with more experience if y’ can have an open mind.”
The girl rolled her eyes. “Whatever,” she mumbled, rapidly drawing an arrow from the quiver and letting it fly towards the painted target. She cursed under her breath when her shot went wide, and the glass bottle remained to mock her.
She ignored his soft footsteps across the sand as he approached her, nocking another arrow and once again missing the target. “Ugh! I was doing just fine before when it was just me and Mom,” she hissed, her eyes flashing in his direction.
“It’s ok t’ be nervous, Soph. Y’ don’t really know me, so –“
Her face flushed angrily as she let her bow drop from her hand. “Yeah,” she fumed, “and I don’t want to know you.”
Daryl sucked in a sharp breath, his chest twisting with pain. He dropped to one knee so he could be on her level and met her gaze. “I can respect that, I guess. Can y’ at least tell me why?”
Sophia crossed her arms over her chest. “Because you come here and act like you know us … like you love us as if we’re your family. M-My mom,” her voice broke as she shot a glance over at Carol, “she loves you. Anyone with eyes can see it.”
“I love her, too,” he assured her in a soft tone.
“NO! If you loved her, you wouldn’t have left her alone to deal with Ed.” She pushed her small hands against his chest, knocking him back onto his heels. “Where were you?! How could you leave her?! S-She was a-alone and s-scared and …” She hit him again, her hand glancing off his shoulder. “Where were you when he pushed her down the stairs? Or when he slammed her arm so hard against the fireplace it broke her wrist? Or any of the times he split open her lip and gave her a black eye?!”
He took each blow from her tiny fists, each strike a knife to his heart. When she ran out of steam and collapsed to the sand, he hauled her into his arms and held her, waving Carol away as she ran towards them.
“Y’ prob’ly hate me, don’t y’, baby girl?” he murmured brokenly, stroking a hand over her hair. “I swear I didn’t know.” Which was the god’s honest truth. He’d never been privy to the personal details of Carol’s marriage, where she lived or anything else. Only what she’d chosen to share with him later. It hadn’t been enough to lead him to her when he’d woken to a new reality. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway, seeing as Ed had been dead for half a year.
“How could you not know?” Sophia asked, lifting her tear-filled hazel eyes to his. She shook her head and pushed away from him, sitting cross-legged in the sand. “Doesn’t matter,” she huffed, “I’m not going to let you hurt her, too.”
Daryl scowled down at his feet. “It’s complicated, but I promise y’, Soph, if I’d’ve known what Ed was doin’ t’ your mama, I’d have killed his sorry ass.” He sighed and reached for the rag in his back pocket so she could dry her eyes and blow her nose. “And y’ ain’t gotta worry … I’d never lay hands on your mama like that.”
Sophia snorted. “Yeah, like I’m just supposed to take you at your word. Ed always promised never to do it again, but give him a six pack and he’d be right back to terrorizing Mom.”
He fell back onto his butt in the sand and mimicked her pose, still trying to put her at ease. Every instinct he had encouraged him to run, to find the safety of the woods where he could lick his wounds. He couldn’t, however. It was too important to him to get to know Carol’s girl this time around. He wasn’t the same angry asshole who’d blown through this very quarry before. He’d grown and become a better man. Through time and trial, he’d learned people could love him for who he was, and there was no need to run if someone tried to get close. Carol had taught him that and he wouldn’t disappoint her now.
Daryl toyed with the hem of the sleeveless t-shirt he wore as he gnawed thoughtfully at the inside of his lip, a nervous habit he hadn’t been able to break. “Think she’s th’ only one who’s ever had t’ deal with an abusive asshole?” That simple question seemed to garner her attention, and narrowed hazel eyes lifted to war with his. He waved a hand through the air. “Those mindless dead bastards that’re walking th’ streets now … they’re not th’ real monsters, Soph. Naw, th’ real monsters hide behind a job and a home and family. It’s when th’ sun sets an’ no one’s there t’ see … that’s when they come out t’ play.”
He watched the goosebumps rise on her arms and a shiver trip through her little body as she stared at him.
Daryl’s breathing became labored as he continued to regard her, the silence heavy between them. Without another word, he whipped the shirt over his head and let the dappled sunlight, filtering through the trees, highlight the scars littered across his chest. “Sometimes, there ain’t nobody t’ save y’ from th’ monsters. If y’ lucky, y’ get t’ grow up an’ finally leave all that shit behind y’. Some people revert t’ th’ same form of abuse with their own families because it’s all they’ve ever known. But there’s some … some like me an’ Merle who would never lay hands on a woman or a child. No one deserves t’ be beaten an’ abused … physically or mentally. So, when I tell y’ I’d never hurt your mama, y’ best believe it.”
Sophia reached out to trace the thin silver scar over his collarbone, drawing back slightly when he flinched. He steeled himself for the unfamiliar touch and took a deep breath before nodding his consent.
“Why would they do such a thing? Ed was supposed to love us and all he did was hurt my mom,” she whispered, her voice an anguished plea for answers.
“Because something was broken in him,” Carol answered, dropping to her knees next to her daughter. Her heart had shattered the moment Daryl had revealed a good many of his scars to Sophia, and she hadn’t been able to stay away a moment longer. “It wasn’t anything we’d done to make him that way, baby. It’s just how he was.”
Sophia leaned into her mother’s embrace. “I just don’t want you to be hurt anymore. I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too,” Carol sobbed against the crown of her daughter’s soft hair. “And I don’t want you to be afraid for me. Daryl would never hurt me … has never hurt me.”
“I still don’t like it that you kept him a secret from me,” she grumbled.
“I know, baby,” Carol chuckled, “but you have a chance to know him now.”
Daryl huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, ‘cause I sure as hell ain’t goin’ nowhere now that I found y’all.”
Sophia rolled her eyes and then spoiled it with a cheeky grin. “So, I guess we’re stuck with you.”
“Lil’ shit. G’on an’ get t’ practicin’ with that bow,” he growled, tugging the shirt back over his head and getting to his feet. “If y’ hit enough targets, we might be able t’ convince your mama t’ fix us some lunch.”
Sophia stared at him speculatively. “How are you not mad at me?” She ducked her head, her cheeks flushed with no small measure of shame. “I yelled at you a-and hit you. God, I was just awful!”
“Aw, c’mon, Soph, I ain’t gonna hold that against y’. Y’ were scared an’ didn’t know how t’ deal with it except t’ lash out.” He shook his head, a smirk teasing at the corner of his mouth. “Y’ should see Merle throw a tantrum when he’s upset.”
“I’m sorry, Daryl. I promise I won’t do it again. I’m not like Ed, I swear,” she hurried to assure him. “I don’t break my promises.”
He nodded. “Never imagined y’ would.”
“Are you still going to help me get better with my bow?” she asked, testing the turbulent waters between them.
“A’right. Get warmed up, an’ then we’ll see what y’ need t’ work on.”
Carol watched her daughter move off a few paces and begin practicing before she collapsed against Daryl’s chest, a sob tearing free of her throat as tears spilled over her ashen cheeks. “Oh, god! I thought … I tried to hide it from h-her,” she cried. “I never wanted her to know how bad it was, and I failed.”
Daryl enveloped her in his arms, crushing her tightly to his chest. “Hush, sweetheart. Y’ did everythin’ y’ could t’ protect her.”
“It wasn’t enough. All this time, and she’s never said anything.” She just wept harder. “She treated you so badly, blaming you for leaving me there with him. I’m so sorry, Daryl.”
He shook his head and pressed a kiss just below her ear, his warm breath comforting against her skin. “Stop. This ain’t on you. Whether she knows it or not, she needs both of us. I wanna know her, want her t’ know me. Need t’ protect her every bit as much as I need t’ protect you.”
Carol dug herself in more as she burrowed against his chest. “You showed her your scars.”
Daryl sighed, still finding it hard to believe he’d found the strength to go through with it. “It was th’ only way she was goin’ t’ believe me when I told her I’d never hurt y’. Don’t want her t’ be scared o’ me.”
“Daryl, you coming?” Sophia called.
Carol brushed hurriedly at her tears and stepped out of his arms. “Go. I think she’s ready to listen to you now.”
He retained his grip on her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Y’ gonna be a’right? We can come with y’ back t’ camp.”
“No,” she shook her head, “I’ll take the water back and see about fixing lunch. You two work on her aim.” She watched him go, once again thanking god for the gift of her Dixon.
Notes:
A/n: Happy Wednesday :D I hope y’all enjoyed the chapter. I’ve had some really good writing days this week, so we have some really good stuff to look forward to. Thank you all so so much for reading and reviewing. It means so much to have y’all support me in this project. *love and hugs!*
Chapter Text
Carol sighed as she carded her fingers through Sophia’s hair where the girl sat on the ground slumped against her mother’s legs with her head resting on Carol’s knee. Daryl had put her through the paces with both bow and handgun before he’d relented enough to let Sophia spend the afternoon swimming in the lake under his watchful eye.
Carol had cornered Sophia before dinner, hoping to glean more information from her as to what she’d witnessed of her father’s abuse over the years. She’d thought she’d been so careful in shielding her daughter, but apparently, Sophia was more aware of the atrocities Carol had suffered than she could have imagined. Perhaps in this reality, she hadn’t been as diligent as she’d once been, she reasoned.
Daryl sat next to her in a camp chair, sharpening his knife, the shroosh over the whet stone the only sound aside from the crackling of their low campfire. Every now and then, his eyes would flit to the tree line in search of his brother who hadn’t returned to camp since before lunch.
“When’s Merle coming back?” Sophia asked around a huge yawn. “You think he’s still mad at me for this morning?”
Daryl snorted. “Naw. He might growl at y’ or threaten t’ hang you up by your feet from th’ nearest tree, but he ain’t gonna mean anythin’ by it. Hell, girl, y’ got his fat ass t’ run around th’ whole quarry. He wouldn’t’ve done somethin’ like that if he didn’t care about y’.”
Carol shook her head, remembering the time Carl had hidden Merle’s makeshift prosthetic and refused to tell him where it was. Even as mad as the eldest Dixon had been, he hadn’t laid hands on the boy. Carl hadn’t thought it was funny to have his Stetson go missing in retaliation, but he’d gotten over it soon enough once both parties had regained their property.
Sophia yawned again, her eyes drooping to half-mast. “He missed lunch and dinner, though, Mom. He’s gonna be starving when he comes back.” She sat up straight, a fearful look on her freckled features. “What if something happened to him out there.”
“Merle’s fine, baby girl. Ain’t nothin’ can kill a Dixon but a Dixon,” Daryl assured her. “He jus’ needed some time t’ clear his head.”
“Is this about the secrets you and Mom are keeping?”
Daryl stared at her blankly. “Don’t know what y’ talkin’ about.”
Sophia’s gaze ping-ponged between Daryl and her mother. “You know, one day I’m going to be a grown-up and you’re going to have to let me in on all your nasty little secrets,” she sighed, “but in the meantime, I’m going to lay in my bed and watch YouTube before I fall asleep.”
“I thought kids usually begged their parents t’ stay up late,” Merle said, his solid form emerging from the shadows. “Y’ must be hidin’ some gray hairs on that head o’ yers, Peach.”
Sophia’s face lit up with happiness. She shot to her feet and hurried to meet him, a wide smile on her lips. “You came back!”
He stared down at her as if she’d grown a second nose. “’Course I did. Why wouldn’t I?”
She shuffled her feet, staring down at her sneakers. “I was awful this morning, making you run and all. I was just having fun teasing you. I really didn’t mean to make you mad.” Sophia glanced back at her mother briefly. “Mom told me running could have hurt you because you might have a heart condition or something.”
Merle spluttered and turned a glare on Carol. “I ain’t that old! And I can sure as hell run when I need t’. Y’ ain’t gotta worry about me cockin’ up m’ toes any time soon.”
“You’re not mad?” Sophia asked hopefully.
He sucked on his teeth as he regarded her shrewdly. “Let’s jus’ say I’ll let y’ have th’ first one for free. But don’t think I’ma let y’ pull that kinda shit again. When I tell y’ t’ stop, y’ better listen.”
The girl held up her hand towards him, her littlest finger extended. “Pinky promise?” she asked, wide hazel eyes begging for his understanding and friendship. “Not supposed to break those.”
Daryl covered his mouth with a hand to hide his smirk, and Merle’s eyes narrowed on him briefly before he held out his own pinky to Sophia. “This some sorta rule y’ made up?”
Sophia gaped, her brow furrowing. “You never swore a pinky promise before?” She wrapped her pinky around Merle’s and clasped it hard. “That’s just sad.”
Merle snorted and moved with her towards the campfire. “Thought y’ said y’ was goin’ t’ bed.”
“I am. Daryl promised he’d teach me how to track tomorrow … and set snares like Mom does, and maybe show me how to walk in the woods so I don’t scare off all the game.”
“He did, did he?”
Sophia scuffed a foot in the dirt, peering up at him uncertainly from beneath her lashes. “You could help, too … if you want.”
“Damn, Merle, stop harassing th’ girl an’ sit your fat ass down,” Daryl sneered good-naturedly, laughing when his brother flipped him off. He turned to Carol and gave her hand a squeeze where it rested on the arm of her chair. “I’ll go grab th’ plate y’ fixed for ‘im and see about that present I brought along for y’.”
Carol’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “A present? Is it tawdry lingerie?”
“Christ, woman!” he choked, his ears and the skin over his cheekbones burning a fiery red.
Sophia frowned, coming in on the tail end of the conversation. “What lingerie? Like a nightgown?”
“Never you mind, baby,” Carol giggled. “Do you want me to come tuck you in?”
The girl stared at her incredulously. “Mooommm!” she whined. “I’m almost thirteen. I don’t need you to tuck me in like a big baby.” She leaned over and hugged her mother tightly. “Night.”
“Night, Daryl … night, Merle.”
Daryl followed her into the RV, leaving Merle and Carol to keep each other company by the fire. “Y’ really going t’ bed this early?”
Sophia yawned. “I can’t help it … I’m exhausted!”
Carol met Merle’s gaze head on, giving him all the time he needed to say his peace. She couldn’t escape the steely look in his eyes or the tension which only seemed to grow between them, but she wouldn’t have run even if the option had been open to her.
“How are you, Merle?” she asked innocently. Of course, she knew the hell he was probably suffering after reading what she’d recorded in the journal. She wished she could make it less painful for him, to be honest. She cared for Daryl’s brother and only wanted to help him.
He sighed heavily and raked a hand over the buzz of his hair. “How th’ hell y’ think I feel, Mouse?”
Carol stiffened, her eyes narrowing. “I’m not the same timid little woman your former self met so long ago, Merle Dixon. I’ll thank you not to call me that.”
“So, don’t thank me,” he chuckled. “’Sides, y’ took it th’ wrong way. I was thinkin’ o’ how a mouse is crafty, sneaky, resilient. Can’t think o’ y’ any other kinda way after what I’ve been readin’.”
Her gaze flitted toward the RV where Daryl had disappeared. “I have your brother to thank for that.”
Merle shook his head. “Naw … I think y’ always had it in y’ t’ be strong. Y’ jus’ forgot how when y’ was livin’ with that asshole husband o’ yours.” His lips spread into a calculating grin. “And somethin’ tells me it wasn’t my brother who had y’ threatenin’ t’ slit m’ throat.”
Carol shifted in her seat as she tried to keep her expression serene. “I will admit, I didn’t particularly like you before. You were rude, crass, a drug user, and you brought Daryl down. You were not good for him.” His lips parted, ready to defend himself, but she lifted a hand to forestall him. “He was at loose ends when you were left in Atlanta. He wanted to look for you more, but he didn’t feel confident enough to do it alone. When my daughter went missing on that highway, it gave him purpose. He took Sophia’s death hard, blaming himself because he couldn’t find her. All he’s ever wanted was love and acceptance in his life, to feel needed and appreciated. He got that with our group, and I couldn’t let you mess that up for him.”
“That ain’t me, Mouse,” Merle vowed, his eyes boring into hers with steely determination. “I mean … yeah, I fucked up – a lot – when I was younger. Got sent of t’ th’ army t’ avoid jail. That didn’t work out so well, I’ll tell y’. Then I got busted for real and couldn’t avoid a five-year sentence.” His head dropped into his hands. “Worst thing I ever seen in my life was th’ look on m’ baby brother’s face when they hauled me outta that courtroom. Five fuckin’ years at Jackson’s mercy. Swore when I got out, I’d get him away from there an’ try t’ make it up t’ him.”
“Merle, you’re not the same man,” she murmured softly. “It seems we’ve all changed for the better. We’re family, and that’s all that matters. We’re going to survive … together.” She reached out and took a chance he wouldn’t push her away, giving his hand a squeeze. “We have a common goal.”
“Yeah, an’ what’s that?”
“Keeping Daryl safe.”
“And yer girl,” he insisted. “Her gettin’ lost … that shit ain’t happenin’ again.”
“No … it’s not,” she vowed.
Daryl eyed them both as he stepped out of the RV and moved towards them. “Everythin’ a’right?” he asked, his senses tingling due to the tension in the air. He passed the tin plate to Merle with a wary look.
“Fine, lil’ brother. Jus’ havin’ a chat with yer girl here,” Merle assured him. His brow cocked in surprise when he saw the rifle clutched in Daryl’s hand. “Y’ gonna give her th’ sniper rifle? She even know how t’ use a weapon like that?”
Daryl rolled his eyes and carefully handed Carol the Seekins. “Pfft. I doubt there’s a gun out there she cain’t handle. Don’t underestimate her, brother.”
Carol breathed out an awe-filled sigh, her eyes alight with memories as her fingers ghosted over the sleek weapon already fitted with a silencer. Without hesitation, she went through the motions of checking the chamber and magazine before she stood and tested the familiar weight in her hands. “Oh, Daryl …”
He ducked his head, his attention focused on the pleasure he could see blooming on her features. “I remember how much y’ liked usin’ it durin’ th’ war. Wanted t’ make sure y’ had it from th’ start this time,” he murmured lowly, pleased his gift had been received so warmly. “Scope’s sighted in, too, so it’s ready for y’ t’ use.”
She set it down and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him softly. “Thank you. Much better than lingerie.”
“Stahp.”
Merle ignored his blushing brother as he looked between the two. “War? Y’ tellin’ me y’all was in a war?!”
Carol nodded as if it was of little consequence. “It’s all in the journal, Merle. You just haven’t gotten to that part yet.” She sat down again in her camp chair, Daryl easing into the one beside her. “There are many things in there … well, it was hard to write down some of them.”
“It’s everything we went through out there,” Daryl added. “From where we started out here at th’ quarry t’ that last day in th’ clearin’ just a few miles from Hilltop.” He rubbed a weary hand over the damp nape of his neck and sighed. “Y’ got very far into it yet?”
Merle tapped an idle finger against the leather-bound journal lying on his lap, his icy blue eyes narrowing. “Th’ prison. I really don’t like th’ sounds o’ this governor asshole. Y’all jus’ let him come an’ knock down yer fences like he owned th’ damned place.”
Carol and Daryl shared a loaded look, wondering how much they should share with him before he read it for himself. “There was little we could do at the time, Merle,” Carol said. “We were outnumbered, ill-equipped and extremely low on ammo. He took us by surprise that day. It was simply a warning he’d be back.”
Merle snorted. “Yeah, bet that shit went over like a lead balloon.”
Daryl stared into the fire, his teeth grinding viciously as he fought back the memories plaguing him. Merle’s unnatural yellow eyes trained on him, his mouth dripping with gore, skin mottled an ugly gray had given Daryl nightmares for months after his brother had died.
“Somethin’ wrong, boy?” Merle asked, a worried frown marring his brow.
He jerked himself from his reverie and shook his head at his brother before reaching out to take Carol’s hand in his own. “Didn’t y’ say y’ wanted a bath? We’re losin’ th’ light.”
Carol saw his evasion for what it was and smiled softly. “Just give me a minute to get our things.”
When she’d gone, Merle reached over and clamped a hand over Daryl’s wrist, his grip strong enough that his brother couldn’t jerk away without some effort. “Tell me what’s eatin’ at y’.”
Daryl shook his head again with jerky movements. He needed to run, to flee, to escape the myriad images taunting him behind his eyelids. “Naw! Y’ wanna know, y’ read more o’ that journal. I ain’t talkin’ about this shit! I cain’t!”
Merle let him go, never having seen his brother so shaken, and there was a long list of traumas in their past. It made his gut clench and writhe as he wondered what he ever could have done to make the boy react in such a way.
He rose from his chair and clamped a hand to Daryl’s shoulder. “Second chances, lil’ brother. That’s what this is all about, right? Whatever it is, we’ll fix it.”
Merle left Daryl sitting there with his head in his hands and made his way to the RV where Carol was just closing the door behind her. Her face fell when she took in Daryl’s state of distress. Her gaze was filled with concern as her eyes swung to Merle. “What did you say to him?”
“Ain’t nothin’ I said. Least I don’t think so. Boy’s lost in his head. I seen him like that too many times t’ count.” He patted her gently on the shoulder. “I’m glad he’s got y’ in his corner, Mouse. Take care of him.”
“Always,” she assured him, shifting her bag higher up on her shoulder. “Where are you going?”
He paused on the steps of the RV and lifted the journal so she could see it clutched in his hand. “Got some readin’ t’ do. Maybe I can figure out what’s got baby brother’s drawers in a knot.”
*.*.*
Daryl was subdued as they walked hand in hand towards the lake, the setting sun lighting the path before them, and Carol let him keep his own counsel. It had been hard enough to live through Merle’s death the first time, and considering where the eldest Dixon was in his reading of the journal, she could imagine it was dredging those memories up for Daryl again, fresh, raw and bleeding.
There was no point in assuring him the same events wouldn’t unfold in the same way. How could they know for sure? Even the slightest deviation from their set course could result in an epic catastrophe. Or so she’d discovered in her research of time travel. However, she’d worry about the butterfly effect later. Not now when the man she loved was suffering.
She was surprised when he stopped in the middle of the path and caught her free hand, raising it to his lips to press a kiss to her knuckles.
“Sorry about before,” he mumbled, waving a hand back towards the camp. “Didn’t mean t’ let it get t’ me like that.”
Carol tugged him towards the lake, resuming their pace. “You think I don’t relive Sophia’s disappearance or the moment she came out of Hershel’s barn? Over and over again? I understand, but then I think about this second chance we’ve been given and move on. I try not to dwell on it.” She gave his hand a little squeeze. “I’m not trying to brush aside the pain it causes you, Daryl. Please don’t think that.”
“Y’ wouldn’t do that,” he said adamantly. “Y’ were there, Carol … sittin’ up with me, lettin’ me cry all over y’, listenin’ t’ me rage at th’ world. Y’ always been there for me. But, damn, I don’t wanna have t’ think o’ losin’ him all over again. Sometimes, I look at him an’ it’s all I can think about.”
She bumped her shoulder against his, drawing his gaze. “I do it, too. All we can do now is use the knowledge we have at our disposal to keep them safe. Right?”
Carol made perfect sense. He couldn’t let his fears cloud his judgement. He nodded, a small smile lifting the corners of his mouth. “Right. An’ we’re better prepared t’ be on th’ road this time, too. Don’t think I didn’t see all th’ mac an’ cheese y’ got crammed in one o’ those storage compartments.”
She giggled. “We all know you could live off that stuff indefinitely.”
“Hell yeah, specially when y’ pan fry some rabbit an’ make that gravy t’ pour all over it. Good stuff.”
Carol laughed again. “Recipes for the apocalypse. I could write a cookbook.”
The little bit of levity was enough to get him back into a better head space, and the tension had somewhat eased from his shoulders by the time they reached the lake. “So, y’ said somethin’ about wantin’ a bath.” He grabbed her hand as she nodded. “C’mon, wanna show y’ somethin’.”
Carol followed him as he headed towards the north end of the lake where the bushes were overgrown. “It’s going to be hard getting to the water from up here.”
He grinned mysteriously back at her over his shoulder, still retaining the grip on her hand. “I promise it’s worth it. Found it when we were here before because I didn’t want nobody spyin’ on me while I was tryin’ t’ wash up.” He was still leery of anyone but her seeing his scars.
“I was never too fond of bathing with the others either. That’s why I usually waited until everyone was asleep before I came down here,” she admitted.
Daryl felt his cheeks burn. “I know,” he admitted softly.
Carol dug in her heels, pulling him to a stop. “What do you mean by that?”
“I uh … I always made a sweep and then kept watch t’ make sure nothin’ sneaked up on y’.”
She stared at him, dumbfounded. “I never knew.”
He shuffled a bit, the toe of his boot digging into the soft grass. “Didn’t want y’ t’ know. Didn’t want y’ t’ think I was out here tryin’ t’ sneak a peek at your goods. Jus’ didn’t want nothin’ t’ happen t’ y’.”
Carol stepped into his space and wrapped her arms around his waist, burrowing against his chest. “You cared even then?”
He nodded, his nose nuzzling her temple as he enveloped her in his embrace. “I fuckin’ hated Ed. I could see what he was doin’ t’ y’, but Merle wouldn’t let me interfere, said it would jus’ make it worse for y’. Watchin’ out for y’ out here was my way o’ helpin’.”
“It was the one time of day when I felt I could actually breathe. I didn’t have to worry about Ed hovering over my shoulder, or about Sophia getting into something she shouldn’t, or chores, or … just so many other things.” She raised up and pressed a kiss to his stubbled jaw. “Thank you.”
Daryl pulled away before he allowed himself to get lost in her and hurried her along the grassy slope. He paused before an array of buckeye bushes and held back the leafy branches so she could pass through.
She hadn’t been expecting the sight before her, a small gasp escaping her parted lips. “How did I miss this?” she breathed in excitement. “It’s beautiful.”
Huge slabs of shale were piled atop one another in varying degrees, nearly forming enormous stepping stones to where the water lapped gently against the lower formations. It reminded her of a grotto, and it would provide all the privacy they’d ever need for a private bath.
Daryl followed her, lowering himself down to sit on the topmost slab. “Thought you’d like it here,” he said, a pleased smile curling his lips. “It was dumb luck I found it last time.”
“Well, I think it’s wonderful,” Carol said enthusiastically, staring up at the setting sun, the last of its rays just peeking over the top of the steep rock wall. “I can’t wait to see if the water is still warm from the heat of the day.”
“Y’ want me t’ keep a lookout?” Daryl asked, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t think th’ geeks woulda ventured this far from th’ city yet, but I want y’ t’ feel safe.”
Carol turned back to face him, tilting her head slightly as she regarded him. She had to fight back a smile at his uncertainty. It was easy for her to know exactly how he felt, butterflies the size of condors winging throughout her own stomach. She sat on another of the shale slabs and pulled the boots and thick wool socks from her feet, wiggling her toes against the warm stone before she climbed up to where he sat.
Daryl rose to meet her, taking a step back when she moved into his space, unsure of what she wanted him to do. He relaxed a bit when she laid a hand over his heart and rose on her toes to gently press her lips to his. When she leaned back, his confusion grew at the definitive sparkle he saw in her clear blue gaze.
“I don’t want you to watch for walkers, Daryl. I want you to join me. It’s the reason I didn’t bathe with Sophia when she had her bath. I wanted to come down here with you … to share my bath with you,” she murmured, a sultry tone replacing the usual teasing he could hear in her voice.
He gulped audibly as she removed the pink plaid shirt she wore over her black tank top and let if fall to the slab at his feet. “I uh …”
“Relax,” she encouraged him, watching how his fingers began to fidget with the strap of his bow where it lay across his chest. “I’m not forcing you to do something which will make you uncomfortable, Daryl. It was merely an invitation, nothing more.”
Carol took the backpack from him, sitting down to rummage through the clothes and towels she’d brought until she found a smaller mesh bag containing their toiletries. She set it aside long enough to strip out of her clothes, giving Daryl an up close and personal view of the scars Ed had left her as a parting gift. Deep down, she knew his scars would always bother him, but considering how open he’d been with Sophia that day, she’d hoped he would leave his fears behind long enough to share the water with her.
She heard the audible gasp he emitted as she picked up the mesh bag and made her way down to the water’s edge, leaving him to make up his own mind. To her delight, the slabs of slate dipped at varying intervals all the way to the bottom of the quarry bed, and the one she chose to sit on left the water to lap gently at her hips. The water was still warm and inviting, and she wasted no time in washing her hair, scrubbing at the sweat and dirt she’d accumulated throughout the day.
Carol leaned forward and dunked her head to rinse it, making a little sound of surprise in the back of her throat as she felt Daryl sit down behind her, his legs spread on either side of her. All she’d have to do was lean back to feel the warmth of his chest, skin to skin as she’d dreamed of for so long.
*.*.*
Daryl had to take several deep breaths to quell the frantic beating of his heart as he watched her maneuver the stones to the water’s edge. The panic he felt over the thought of baring his body completely to her warred with the rage he felt over the thin white scars which littered her back from just below her shoulder blades to the top of her rounded behind.
And she’d just divested herself of every stitch of her clothes without the slightest hesitation. How could she seem so unbothered to reveal her husband’s brutality to him? To leave herself vulnerable and …
Because she trusts me. Fuck!
The realization of just how deeply she trusted him washed over him like a tidal wave, leaving him dazed. She had declared her love and left her inhibitions behind, sharing herself to her very core. He’d always known how brave she could be, but this left him feeling ashamed he’d hesitated for even a moment to do the same. He knew she’d never hold his fears against him, or pressure him into something for which he wasn’t ready. The question was … could he do it?
Daryl slowly lifted the crossbow from his shoulder and set it down next to Carol’s discarded clothes. Stop being a pussy, Darylina! Christ, now he could hear Merle’s chortling remarks in his damn head. Not what he needed at the moment.
He pushed all his fears and doubts aside and let his hands fall to the buttons on his shirt, unfastening the first three so he could pull the fabric over his head. He cursed his trembling hands as he reached for his belt buckle. His woman was patient and understanding, kind and loving. He could expect her to be nothing less than what she’d always been … his everything.
Daryl watched her as he toed off his boots and lowered his zipper to push the heavy denim down his legs, focusing on her pale beauty in the coming twilight. His anxiety was a part of him, one he’d lived with for most of his life, but so was she. Carol had burrowed her way into his heart long ago and battered down his walls, freeing him to find his true self, one filled with love for the woman who’d remade herself from the ashes.
His feet moved of their own accord, carrying him to her side, and he found himself taking up a position on the slab behind her, his body cradling hers, his hands coming to rest upon her shoulders as he felt her sharp intake of breath.
He pressed his brow to her nape, tasting the water droplets against his lips. “This okay?”
Carol leaned back into his embrace, her teasing fingers tracing the fine hairs on his thighs until she encountered the edge of his boxers. She bit back a chuckle at his missish behavior. He wouldn’t be Daryl if he’d come to her completely bare. He was a work in progress, and she had the patience to wait him out. “Whatever makes you comfortable, Pookie.”
Notes:
A/n: Well, here we are again. I hop y’all enjoyed the chapter. I’d like to apologize for not posting last week. The doc found an infection on my pancreas and shipped me off to Ocshner in New Orleans. He thought they were going to have to do surgery, but opted to treat it with antibiotics instead, but regardless, I lost a week’s worth of writing time. UGH! I’m posting early because I will NOT be around Wednesday. My daughter in law is going into the hospital to have my granddaughter via c-section. I’m so excited!!! Therefore, I prob’ly won’t be posting next week. Instead of getting a chapter out EVERY week, I’m going to shoot for once every two weeks. Thanks so so much for all the love and support, and to those who have reached out to me in my absence. *love and hugs!*
Chapter Text
Calloused fingers trailed over her arms from shoulder to wrist, causing a pleasurable shiver to trip up her spine. She smiled and turned her face into the crook of Daryl’s neck, her lips lingering at his rapid pulse which pounded furiously beneath his jaw. “I really hadn’t expected you to accept my invitation,” she whispered honestly, sharing her inner thoughts with him. “You looked as though you were ready to have an anxiety attack. What changed your mind?”
Daryl sighed and wrapped his arms around her waist, his chin coming to rest upon her right shoulder. “Y’ know I ain’t good at all this,” he admitted in a self-deprecating tone, “but then I remembered somethin’ y’ told me once when we found th’ prison. Y’ said y’ wanted t’ stop survivin’ an’ start livin’.” He trailed his lips up the column of her swan-like neck, biting gently where the point of her jaw met her ear. “I want that, too. Jus’ needed a minute t’ get my head in th’ game.”
Carol chuckled lightly, resting her hands over his. “I’m not going to make you do something that makes you uncomfortable. You know that, right?”
“I know … an’ I’m fine with this,” he assured her.
“So, you always bathe with your boxers on?”
He was sure she could feel the heat of his embarrassment against her skin. “Didn’t want y’ t’ think I was comin’ down here t’ jump y’,” he grumbled.
She was sure he could hear the teasing note in her voice. “What if I want you to?”
Daryl snorted out a laugh and gave her a little squeeze, dragging her back against his chest where she was now flush with him from shoulder to hip. “Why y’ always gotta be in such an all-fired hurry? I ain’t never bathed with a woman before … think I might like t’ experience that before we do somethin’ else.” If he were honest with himself, he just wanted to feel Carol’s hands on him.
He missed her warmth as she pulled away to rummage in her bag for the bright red bottle he could only assume was for him. He dunked his head under the water as he’d seen her do and then sat back, his hands braced behind him. His mouth went dry as she came to stand between his parted knees and squeezed a dollop of three in one body wash into her hand.
The second she began working it through his short hair, he felt like a kid being punished for playing in a mud puddle. “Easy there, woman!”
Carol eased her ministrations, but didn’t lose the mischievous sparkle in her eyes. “Sorry, Pookie. It’s still a little overwhelming to have you in such a position after I’d dreamt of it for so long.”
Daryl peered up at her from sloe-lidded eyes, his hand reaching out to caress her hip. “Ain’t gotta be nervous … s’ jus’ me, same as always.”
She shot him a dubious look. “This is not same as always, Daryl.” She leaned over and dropped a kiss to his lips, her fingers raking silkily through his hair. “It’s so much better.”
He found he couldn’t argue her logic. He felt the same way.
Carol forced herself to focus on her task. “I think I finally got all the mud out of your hair. I still can’t believe Sophia thought it would be funny to throw lake mud at you.”
Daryl snorted. “Pfft. She coulda thrown a grenade at me an’ I wouldn’t’ve batted an eye if it got her t’ open up t’ me. She was just bein’ a kid.”
“And you want so badly for her to accept you.”
He nodded, watching her move away to grab a bath sponge and a bottle of shower gel. “I’m not tryin’ t’ be her daddy – though even Merle would be a vast improvement over Ed – but she’s yours, an’ I want us t’ be a fam’ly. Is that so wrong?”
She shook her head, the most she could manage around the lump of emotion swelling in her throat. “No, it’s not wrong. In fact, I’d like that very much.” Carol brushed her tears away on the back of her wrist and waved a hand towards the water. “Might as well go ahead and rinse now.”
Daryl did as she asked, coming up and shaking his head like a wet dog, sending water droplets to pelt her naked flesh. He delighted in her squeal of surprise and found himself laughing along with her.
He reached for her, hands settling on her hips, dragging her to stand between his parted knees before the smile could fade from her lips. The moonlight bathed her in a soft glow as the full yellow orb rose to hover above them. Strong arms banded around her, crushing her to him as he pressed his face in the valley between her breasts.
Daryl felt her shiver, her chest heaving with labored breaths as she gave into the warmth of his embrace. Carol, in her surprise, nearly dropped the knotted bath sponge she’d lathered. She felt frozen, her body humming with need, yet hesitant to move, afraid he would flee.
But her lover was far past the point of running from her teasing, her flirting, or the exquisite fire her touch left in its wake. He peered up at her from beneath long spiky lashes, and the acceptance she read there spurred her into motion. A tiny quirk of a smile settled on her mouth as she moved the sponge to his shoulders, gently working her way to his nape and over the broad expanse of his back.
“Feels so good,” he murmured, his breath hot against her damp skin.
Carol shuddered with desire, lingering over certain areas where his grip on her would tighten or a small whine would slip past his lips. It heightened her own pleasure to know it was her touch which brought him such joy. She held his gaze as he caught her hand and brought it to his chest. The outpouring of love and trust in the depths of his smoky blue eyes made the breath catch in her throat.
Daryl took the sponge from her and stood, hurrying to wash the dirt and grime from his body, the need to do the same to her driving him to make haste.
“Y’ ok?” he asked, fretting over her silence.
Her bright blue eyes were luminous in the moonlight, and her lower lip wibbled with nerves. “I’m … yeah, just … a bit overwhelmed, I guess.” Her fingers glided through the soap bubbles glistening on his biceps as she leaned up to press her lips to his. “I’ve wanted to be with you like this so many times. I’m afraid I’m going to wake up any second.”
Daryl shook his head, a half-moon grin spreading over one corner of his generous mouth. “Ain’t a dream, sweetheart,” he assured her, dragging her fully against his slippery chest. “Nothin’ could ever compare t’ th’ real thing.”
He carefully drew the sponge over her back in soothing circles as his lips traced over the artery in her neck. He could feel the blood rushing through it, and it fascinated him. He was obsessed by that part of her, whole and perfect after he’d seen her life drain from it in a torrent of pain.
They were together now, Daryl reminded himself, and he wouldn’t waste their second chance for the wide world. She writhed and moaned, pressing closer, the heat of her core seeking friction against his erection where it strained against the wet confines of his boxers. He shivered as her nails scraped gently against his scalp, gooseflesh erupting along his arms.
Daryl turned her in his arms despite the protesting whine which burbled from her throat. He tossed the sponge behind him, wanting nothing but bubbles separating his skin from hers. Groaning at the delicious sensation of her ass grinding against his cock, he caught her hips in a firm grip to still her.
“Y’ tryin’ t’ kill me, woman?” he growled against the shell of her ear.
Carol struggled weakly against his hold, wanting to feel more of him … anything to relieve the hollow ache within her, desperate to be filled. “I need you,” she whimpered, letting her head fall back against his shoulder, her eyes hot and pleading as she met his gaze. Her arm rose to wrap around the back of his neck, fingers fisting in his short hair, dragging his head down to accept her kiss.
The pads of his fingers made trails through the slippery suds covering her from shoulder to groin as he slowly crept upwards. Carol sought to devour him, her lips, teeth and tongue exploring every inch of his mouth until he was breathless and wanting. He hadn’t been aware a kiss could leave him so utterly wrecked. One hand cupped a breast, rolling her nipple between his knuckles, the other rising further to wrap around the base of her neck so he could caress the sweet hollow of her throat with his thumb.
Daryl felt the change in her almost instantly, despite the desire coursing through his veins to leave him punch-drunk. She seemed to withdraw into herself, unable to mask the fear which suddenly clouded her eyes, and she brought both of her hands up to grip the one he’d wrapped loosely about her throat, pulling it away. She turned to face him, burying her face against his chest as her cheeks blushed a becoming pink beneath the moonlight.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close, doing his best to comfort her while wondering what it was he’d done wrong. “I’m sorry … whatever it is, Carol, I’m sorry.”
Carol relished his warmth and the security of his strong embrace. She shook her head, hoping to reassure him. “I thought I was stronger now … that I’d put what he’d done to me in the past. God knows I’ve had enough time.” Her fingers traced the tattoo over his heart in idle fascination, remembering the stories he’d told her of his grandfather, his lone light in the dark hollow of his childhood. “It was your hand on my throat … not his. Yet, somehow …”
His free hand ghosted over the goosebumps which erupted along her arms as a shudder rippled through her. “Don’t matter. We cain’t be sure what’s gonna set us off, right? Least that’s what the book said.”
“The one from the shelter?” she asked, wondering when he’d even had time to read it after they’d arrived in Alexandria. Their position there had been so precarious at first, then filled with necessary tasks they’d been assigned to assure their place in the community, and that had been before he’d become Aaron’s recruiting partner.
“Mhmm,” he murmured, relieved to feel her begin to relax. “Guess th’ lumberjack was too tame t’ set y’ off like that, huh?” He was glad she was hidden in the crook of his neck, giving him a chance to hide his burning face against her barely-there curls.
Carol, however, refused to let such a remark go, leaning back so she could see him. She could easily read the jealousy in his expression, and she wanted to assure him it wasn’t warranted. “You mean Tobin? Daryl, we were never together that way. I never slept with him.”
Daryl met her gaze head-on despite his discomfort. “I saw y’ kiss him, an’ y’ spent more’n one night at his house.” He raked a frustrated hand through his damp hair, making it stick up at odd angles. “Nevermind … ain’t my business anyway. My own damn fault for never tellin’ y’ how I felt about y’.”
Her brow knit with annoyance as he helped her stand and then moved away to dress in the clean clothes she’d stuffed in her pack. “He was my friend, Daryl … nothing more. Tobin wanted a relationship, but I didn’t. I didn’t think it was fair to him. When he kissed me that one time while we sat on his porch … all I could think of was you, and how I was betraying you in my heart.”
Daryl pulled on a pair of sweats, proud of himself for not flinching when she leaned against his back and wrapped her arms around his waist. There was no reason to argue about their fears now. It would just be a waste of breath. It wasn’t as if they’d be making the same mistakes this time around.
He huffed out a breath and relaxed into her hold. “We sure make a pair, don’t we?”
Carol was sure he could feel her grin against his skin. “How long do you suppose we’d have continued to dance around each other if I hadn’t died?”
“That shit ain’t funny, woman!”
*.*.*
“That was all your doing, wasn’t it?” the angel hissed furiously, rounding on her companion with ill-concealed ire. “Could you not allow them one small moment of happiness?”
The demon’s lips quirked up in his most annoying smirk. “What’s wrong, dearie … halo in a twist? It is the price you must pay for your meddling.” He rose sinuously from his chair, idly twirling a pawn between his elegant fingers. He stalked behind her throne-like chair and paused. “The redneck was fairly oozing with glee. Quite nauseating, really.”
She glared at him over her shoulder. “I would say he’s due, considering all you’ve put him through over the past century. The whole point of this exercise - “
“- is to see what new choices they make … of their own free will,” he reminded her. “It is still the same game we’re forced to play. For every move you make, I am forced to counter it.” He lowered his gaze to the toes of his boots, unable to force himself to meet her gaze.
The demon took the few steps needed to return to his seat. He couldn’t bring himself to look upon the face of his beloved until he could hide his turbulent thoughts once more. It broke his once blackened heart to see her look upon him without remembering the life they’d shared together … or the true love which had bound them so utterly. Not even his ultimate sacrifice had been enough to atone for his sins and grant him peace with her in the afterlife.
He returned the chess piece to the board and finally lifted his gaze to see her obstinate little chin raise in defiance. At least she hadn’t lost her fire.
“Then I will just endeavor to try harder,” she insisted.
The demon sighed wearily. “Do your worst, dearest.”
*.*.*
The walk back to camp was filled with shy smiles and side-eyed glances, Carol’s hand clasped securely in his. It wasn’t as though their ingrained awkwardness would vanish overnight, but she wasn’t going to give up. Once upon a time - several times, in fact - Carol had promised him she would try, and she was going to stick to her word. Eventually, she was certain, they would figure out all that promise entailed.
She nearly startled five years off her life as she reached for the doorknob on the RV and the screen door almost smacked her in the face. Daryl jerked her back in time, shooting a glare at his brother.
“What th’ hell, Merle?” he growled lowly so as not to wake Sophia.
The eldest Dixon looked as if he’d seen a ghost, his face pale in the moonlight filtering beneath the awning. “I, uhm … “ he didn’t finish, shaking his head.
Carol reached out a hand and rested it on his forearm, peering up at him with worry. “Are you alright? Did something happen? Sophia?”
Merle waved her off. “Peach is fine … sleepin’.”
Daryl leaned back against the foldout camp table and crossed his arms over his chest. “Then what’s got y’ so spooked?”
He dropped down to sit on the steps of the RV and scrubbed a hand over his face, gaze swinging between Daryl and his woman. “I was watchin’ th’ news an’ y’ know how borin’ that shit can get when they start repeatin’ th’ same thing over an’ over again. So, I googled that cop friend o’ yers … th’ one that got shot over in King County. Read about ‘im in yer journal an’ figured what th’ hell.”
Carol leveled him with a soft look. “And what did you learn?”
“Shit ain’t addin’ up!” he practically snarled. “Y’ wrote that journal entry th’ second week o’ June … but Rick Grimes didn’t get shot ‘til July tenth. News article claimed he’d been hit by a third unknown assailant from th’ car which had been involved in a high-speed chase. Neither wife Lori Grimes nor partner Shane Walsh had any comment.”
Daryl pushed himself away from the table and paced fretfully before coming to stand before his brother. “So, y’ believe us now?”
“Fuck all, I dunno what t’ believe. Feel like some asshole tossed my brain into a blender! But that ain’t the worst of it,” he huffed, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his vest pocket and taking one before tossing the pack to Daryl. “News channels went dead … all of ‘em. No internet signal on th’ phones either, an’ the radio done switched t’ th’ emergency broadcast system. It’s urgin’ everyone t’ evacuate th’ city and seek out the closest FEMA center.”
Carol’s shoulders drooped dejectedly as she wrapped her arms around her middle. “So, it’s started.”
“Right on schedule,” Daryl added, inhaling deeply as he lowered the cigarette from his mouth. “How long were y’all on the highway last time before findin’ th’ quarry?”
She shook her head, trying to remember. “Roughly sixteen hours … give or take. It wasn’t until Atlanta was bombed that Shane rounded all of us up and headed out here.”
Merle shot to his feet and tossed his cigarette butt towards the fire pit. “An’ here y’all are, talkin’ about this shit like it’s jus’ another night spent in front o’ th’ tv. Want me t’ pop y’ a goddamn bowl o’ popcorn, Darylina?!”
“No, Merle … c’mon, it ain’t like that!” Daryl insisted as his brother shot him the finger and headed towards the lake. “Where th’ fuck y’ goin’? Merle!”
He’d started to follow, but Merle yelled back, “Piss off!” and Daryl stopped in his tracks, knowing it would be useless to try to talk to him now.
Carol came to stand beside him, her small hand curling around his bicep. “Is he going to be ok?”
Daryl nodded reluctantly. “He’s got his handgun with him. He jus’ needs time t’ wrap his head around th’ fact I told him th’ truth. I mean, who in their right mind would believe all this shit,” he sighed. “Stubborn jackass.”
“Then there’s nothing more you can do right now.” Carol raised up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’m going to take watch for a while. Try to get some sleep.”
“But -“
Carol gave him a look which dared him to argue with her. “You promised to take Sophia hunting in the morning. You can’t do that if you don’t sleep, and you wouldn’t want to disappoint her when she’s finally decided to trust you, would you?”
Daryl scuffed his boot in the dirt, torn between wanting to be on watch with Carol and keeping a promise to Sophia. “Naw, you’re right. But I ain’t gotta like it.”
Her chuckles lingered to tease him as she headed towards the ladder bolted to the rear of the RV. He rubbed at the back of his neck and went inside, dropping her pack on the dinette table. This parenting shit was harder than it looked.
Notes:
A/n: I know it’s a short chapter, but this was the best stopping point before I got to the next part. Sorry! Hope you’re all still enjoying the story … let me know :D Thanks so much for reading!!!
Chapter Text
“A’right, Soph … which ones are those,” Daryl asked, pointing to the tracks she’d uncovered in the leaf litter surrounding a clump of bushes.
He’d woken her before the buttcrack of dawn, quietly telling her to collect her gear so she wouldn’t wake Merle. Though he doubted any sound could penetrate his own loud snores. The girl had been delighted to leave the RV to go with him on what she deemed an adventure. Daryl didn’t think they would catch anything - at least not until he taught her to walk quietly through the woods - but he wanted to familiarize her with nature. A little hunting and tracking would do her good.
Carol had been only too happy to see them off, encouraged to see the two of them bonding over something Daryl loved.
Sophia stared hard at the tracks, thinking them too large to be squirrel and too small to be opossum. “Um …” Her mouth screwed up with irritation, angry when she couldn’t recall it from memory.
“This ain’t a test, y’know,” he said, his graveled voice just above a whisper.
She pulled the paperback book he’d given her from the messenger bag at her side, The Tracker’s Bible emblazoned on the front cover. It was dog-eared and worn, and it made her wonder if it had been his. “I know, but I don’t like to forget stuff. I can usually remember things I read one time without having to go back and read it again,” she huffed. Sophia skimmed through a few pages and checked the tracks in the dirt again. “Rabbit.”
Daryl reached into the bushes and parted the branches, waving her closer. “See the burrow? This would be a good place to set some snares.”
Sophia passed him a spool of twine from her bag and watched closely so she could copy his motions with the next one. “Mom sets snares just like this. She’s been trying to teach me, but your knots are easier.”
Daryl shrugged. “Don’t really matter what kinda knots y’ use as long as they catch somethin’. Your mama is a bit of a perfectionist t’ be honest.”
Sophia looked up at him with her wide hazel eyes, soaking up every word. “Did you teach her, too? Or is this another secret no one wants to tell me?”
He opened his mouth to answer, wondering how much he could share with her. Fuck it! “Yeah, I taught her. She wanted t’ learn jus’ about everything I know ‘bout survival.”
She nodded sagely. “I get that, but … why she’d want to, I mean.” Sophia followed him over to the base of a large oak tree and sat down beside him, taking the cereal bar he offered her. “I never liked the woods much,” she said, taking a small bite.
Daryl had always been better than most at reading people, and he knew whatever she was going to say would be a doozy. “Why’s that?”
She shrugged, her fingers plucking at the foil wrapper in her hand. “I might’ve run away and gotten lost in the forest by our house. Mom was in the hospital and I was spending the night with Mrs Pardue who lived next door. Mom always made sure I didn’t have to stay home alone with Ed … but he came for me after work.”
“So, y’ ran,” Daryl finished what she’d left unsaid. “Sometimes y’ ain’t got another choice.”
Sophia nodded, her short hair bobbing around her head. “Ed got really mad, screaming and cursing for me to come back. Mrs Pardue made her son and husband look for me after Ed gave up and went home. She didn’t tell him when I was brought back. She just made me soak in the tub and then tucked me into bed, kept me safe until my mama came home the next day.” She sighed. “It was dark and there were strange noises in the trees.”
Daryl passed her a bottle of water before drinking from his own canteen. “How old were y’?”
Sophia drank deeply and toyed with the bottle cap. “I was nine. Mom was so mad when she found out, but I think she was mostly scared … afraid of what could have happened to me in the woods or frightened of me being alone with Ed. I don’t know.”
“I was ten,” he said, leaning his head back against the tree with a weary sigh, wondering why It felt so therapeutic to talk to her about something he’d never shared with anyone but Merle. He’d only skimmed over the bare facts when he’d told Andrea his story. “I was lost in th’ woods for nine days, but I didn’t have nobody come lookin’ for me.”
Daryl didn’t go into detail. Sophia had already seen the scars which littered his torso. He remembered the tears which had glistened in her eyes, and it made him glad she hadn’t gotten a full view of his back. The last thing he wanted was to give her nightmares or dredge up memories of Ed.
“Is this why you’re teaching me to survive in the woods? Are you afraid I’ll get lost again, Daryl?”
“Maybe. S’it workin’?” he asked, grinning down at her.
Sophia laughed softly. “Well, I’m now better at setting snares and Mom already taught me how to properly skin an animal. Which is completely gross, by the way.”
Daryl rose to his feet and slung his crossbow over his shoulder. “Your ass is gonna be happy t’ catch an’ skin a squirrel or rabbit if you’re lost in the woods an’ your belly’s growlin’,” he said, ruffling her hair. “What else your mama teach y’?”
Sophia thought for a moment, sifting through the most pertinent points in her mind. “I can build a fire and I can fish with only a hook and some line. I’m also pretty quick when it comes to climbing trees.”
“A’right, an’ you’re a decent shot, I’ll give y’ that. Now y’ jus’ need t’ learn how t’ take out some walkers.”
Her eyes widened and her step faltered. “Walkers?”
Daryl stopped when he noticed she was no longer beside him, turning and backtracking to her. “S’what we call th’ undead.”
“Because they walk,” she worked out aloud.
Daryl toyed with the strap on his knife, forever fidgeting. “Heard people call ‘em roamers, biters, rotters, geeks. Guess it jus’ depends on who y’ talk t’, really.”
Sophia fell into step beside him, keeping an eye on the sun to gauge her direction without the need for a compass as Daryl had showed her. “So, how do I practice taking down walkers when we haven’t seen any since we’ve been here.”
“Simple,” Daryl smirked, a glint of evil in his dark blue eyes. “We’re gonna practice on Merle.”
She burst into giggles when she realized he was serious. “Oh, he’s gonna love that,” she deadpanned.
“Might have t’ get Carol t’ make him somethin’ special for dinner, but he’ll come around,” Daryl assured her. “M’ brother can always be bought … for th’ right price.”
They were nearly back to camp when Sophia reached out and slipped her hand into his. “I’m glad you brought me out here, Daryl.”
“Yeah?”
She nodded solemnly. “You made the woods seem a lot less scary.”
*.*.*
Sophia raced towards camp as soon as the trees began to thin. “Merle!”
He looked up with a fond smile as he caught sight of her, setting the journal aside. It was a testament to how much she’d grown on him that he was able to push aside his troubled thoughts and greet her warmly.
“Where y’ been, Peach? Woke up this mornin’ expectin’ y’ t’ drag my ass around th’ quarry again,” he teased her. “Figured it’ll be up t’ me seein’ as how yer mama passed out after takin’ watch.”
Sophia moved to the pot hanging over the fire and took a peek inside, humming appreciatively at the smell of cinnamon and brown sugar he’d used to flavor the plain dried oats. She gave it a stir before ladling some into a bowl for Daryl.
“Daryl took me tracking,” she announced proudly, fixing her own bowl and flopping down on a log.
Merle narrowed his eyes at his brother. “Y’ coulda woke me up, asshole! Why didn’t y’ ask me t’ come along?”
The youngest Dixon snorted and shoveled another spoonful into his mouth. “Because your ass makes too much noise. S’why we always used t’ hunt on opposite ends of th’ grid, remember?”
Sophia giggled. “Maybe you can come with us next time. It was so cool, Merle,” she gushed, balancing her bowl on her lap so she could talk with her hands, too. “Daryl gave me this really awesome book with just about everything I’d ever need to know about tracking, and it explains the best methods for catching them, too. We set some new snares while we were out. Mom’s gonna be impressed because Daryl helped me learn how to tie my knots better, so they don’t come loose, and …”
Daryl stared at her blankly, never having heard her say so much in one breath … in either timeline.
“Slow down there, Peach, before y’ choke,” he admonished, handing her a bottle of water sticking out of the cup holder on his chair. His gaze settled on his brother, his ice blue eyes curious. “That th’ book I -“
“Same one y’ gave me before y’ left for boot camp, yeah,” Daryl cut him off, finishing his breakfast and rising to his feet.
“I cain’t believe y’ kept it all this time.”
The tips of Daryl’s ears turned red as he ducked his head. Of course, he’d kept it … just because it had been a gift from his brother. It was precious to him, having earned a place of honor in his hunting sack. “Well, y’ always did say I was a pack rat,” he mumbled. He was not going to give Merle an opportunity to call him a pussy in front of Sophia.
The girl could feel the tension which had sprung up between the Dixon brothers, and she shifted uncomfortably. Eyeing the bowl in Daryl’s hand, she rose to her feet and collected the dirty dishes from around the fire. She added his to the pile and disappeared inside the RV to wash them.
Merle leaned back in his chair and tucked the journal into the pocket of his vest. He pointed towards the chair Daryl had previously occupied. “Have a seat, Darylina.” He said it in a tone so serious, he knew his brother would obey. Or he should have had Daryl been the boy he’d known instead of this new convoluted version of him. “G’on, boy.”
Daryl hedged, bringing his hand to his mouth to bite nervously at a cuticle. It was a habit he’d broken after the fall of the prison, and that he was falling back on it attested to just how much he wanted to flee his brother’s presence. “C’mon, Merle, I got shit t’ do. I need t’ check on Carol an’ let her know –“
“Y’ can do that after I talk t’ y’.”
Daryl paced back a few steps and crossed his arms over his chest, staying put to hear what Merle had to say, but he refused to sit and leave himself without an out. “S’it about somethin’ y’ read in th’ journal? I know what’s in there, Merle. I skimmed over it th’ night Carol gave it t’ me. Don’t need t’ talk about it.”
Merle ghosted the back of his knuckles over his mouth and sighed. “Yeah, well maybe I want t’ talk about how I fuckin’ died,” he murmured lowly.
Daryl flinched as though his words had been a shot from a rifle. He could already feel the vast array of emotion – from sorrow to anger to defeat – welling up in his throat and burning the backs of his eyes. He refused to look at Merle as he said, “Y’ left me again,” his voice breaking.
Merle opened the journal and searched for the passage he’d read that morning …
I’ve never seen Daryl so upset … not even when Merle was left behind in Atlanta. I knew when he’d gone missing, it wouldn’t end well. We were all afraid of what the governor might do, and preparing for an attack was mindless work. It gave us all too much time to think of what was coming for us. I was furious when Rick had a crisis of conscience, finally revealing the last of his secrets concerning the meeting he’d had with Blake.
If Rick would turn Michonne over to him, the governor had promised to spare the prison. Rick might have been our leader, but he’d had no right to ask Merle to do his dirty work for him. In the end, Merle hadn’t been able to go through with it. He redeemed himself by letting her go, but in the end, he’d still lost his life.
It went a long way in showing how utterly evil Blake had been by killing him in such a way and then leaving him to turn. He’d wanted to bring as much pain down on Daryl as possible. Merle had given his life selflessly in order to save his brother, culling the governor’s best fighters. I wish I could have thanked him. He was a hard man, an even harder one to like, but the love he’d felt for Daryl had been more than what he’d felt for himself. Merle Dixon saved us all with his sacrifice.
Daryl had come back to the prison, beaten down and utterly destroyed …
“Stop!” Daryl bit out, wiping angrily at his tears as he turned away from Merle. “I don’t wanna hear any more.”
Merle set the journal aside and rose to his feet, catching his brother with a hand to the back of his neck before Daryl could make his escape. “I’d never leave y’ without a good reason,” he confessed, ducking his head to catch Daryl’s eye. “Yer all I got left, baby brother … th’ best o’ what I got left. We ain’t gonna let this sonofabitch beat us this time. Gotta keep m’ eye on you an’ th’ girls, don’t I?”
Daryl kept his head lowered, fidgeting with a torn cuticle on his left thumb. “I lost y’ in Atlanta when y’ got left an’ I couldn’t find y’ … then again when I had t’ put your walker down. I …” His lip trembled as he raised his gaze heavenward in a bid to blink back his tears. “I fuckin’ buried y’, Merle.”
Merle clapped his brother on the back and gave him a bit of room to breathe. “Yeah, well I ain’t plannin’ on takin’ a dirt nap anytime soon. So, get that shit outta yer head, right now!” He was relieved when his brother wiped away the tears he’d been trying so hard to hide and then gave him a firm nod. “Now, go check on yer woman. Think she’s done slept enough.”
Daryl hesitated despite the small shove Merle gave him in the direction of the RV. “I was gonna ask if y’ wanted t’ come down t’ th’ lake with us. Need t’ start trainin’ Soph in hand t’ hand. Got some stuff in my pack that’ll help her.”
“A’right. Send her on out then, an’ y’ can catch up t’ us.”
Merle crossed his arms over his chest and blew out a long breath. He’d stepped right into his brother’s feelings when he’d brought up the subject of his death. Over the past few days, he’d doubted pretty much everything he’d read in Carol’s journal. He’d begun reading it just to humor Daryl, but it was hard to ignore seeing his own demise written out in blue ink. Now, he really didn’t know what to think.
He hadn’t wanted to discuss it with Daryl, but he hadn’t felt he had a choice. He had seen what the mere mention was doing to the boy. It was hard to look at that much emotion flitting over his brother’s face. Merle had always suspected how much Daryl loved him, but the way they’d been raised did not promote conversation on the matter.
Merle was jerked out of his reverie as Sophia opened up the screen door and bounded down the steps, Daryl’s pack bouncing on her back. She ran over to him with a smile on her gamine face. “Daryl said we’re gonna start hand to hand training, Merle,” she gushed, excitement shining brightly from her hazel eyes. “Are you going to play the part of the walker?”
“Th’ hell?” he huffed, giving her a side-eyed look. “Did he tell y’ that? Why should I have t’ stumble around like a mindless idiot while y’ knock me down and practice stabbin’ me in th’ head?”
Sophia shuffled one foot in the dirt beneath her feet and lowered her head, peeking up at him through her lashes. “Um … I don’t think I should say.”
“Peach …”
She started backing away from the man she was slowly coming to think of as her friend. “No, really.”
“Peach!”
“Fine,” she sighed, still edging backwards, but her smile grew wider, more mischievous. “He said it wouldn’t be any different from how you usually act.”
Sophia quickly turned on her heel and ran towards the lake, giggling madly.
Merle paused for the merest second – long enough to grab his rifle – before he took off after her. “Come back here, y’ mouthy little shit!”
*.*.*
Daryl eased open the door to the bedroom where his woman slumbered away in blissful oblivion. Hell, who was he kidding? She slept as deeply as he did, which meant hardly at all. He edged closer to the bed and kicked off his boots. She was probably awake even now as he knelt on the foot of the bed and crawled his way to her. He should be thankful she hadn't pulled a knife on him, thinking him a walker or worse.
He knew he’d woken her when a sharp breath was drawn into her lungs … a little quirk she’d never broken. He eased down onto the mattress, pulling her partially beneath him and burying his face against the crook of her neck.
Daryl let himself go and wept, hot silent tears wetting her skin in a silent outpouring of grief. He didn’t sob or cry out in any way, but he knew Carol understood when her arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him closer. She’d done it before when he’d lost his brother to the governor’s evil.
“Shh, I’ve got you,” she cooed softly against the shell of his ear. “I’m here, Daryl.”
He sniffled wetly and drew back enough to meet her gaze, uncaring if his face was still streaked with the salty tracks of his tears. “I’m tryin’, Carol … I really am.”
Carol brushed her fingers through his hair, knowing the gesture had always brought him comfort when he relaxed enough to allow her to do it. “What happened?”
He sighed and returned to the safe haven of her neck. “Don’t matter. Told Soph I was gonna train with her today. Ain’t gonna sit around here an’ let her down because m’ fuckin’ brother wanted t’ talk about his feelings.”
She hummed softly, her fingers plucking a leaf from the collar of his sleeveless button up. “Another quirk of the time travel, do you think?”
“S’like he’s a different person,” he growled, flipping over onto his back and dragging her along to splay over his chest. The need to hold her close had never been stronger. “M’ brother’s always been a sexist, racist asshole with a drug problem who thinks of nobody but himself. That’s th’ Merle I know!”
“I thought you were happy with the change in him.”
Daryl sighed heavily. “I am … I just don’t know how t’ deal with him like this. An’ what’s really buggin’ me is … what if the’ rest o’ th’ group is th’ same.”
Carol sat up, eyes wide with surprise. “I hadn’t thought of that,” she admitted. With everything going on since Daryl and Merle had arrived, she’d been a little distracted. “That could cause unforeseen complications.”
He shot her an exasperated look. “Y’ think?!”
She leaned over and gave him a searing kiss, leaving him breathless and blushing. When she pulled away, Carol smiled with satisfaction at his blown pupils and panting breaths. However, she’d succeeded in taking his mind of their pending problems.
Daryl growled playfully, reveling in the simple joy of the turn in their relationship and the freedom to express his emotions without worrying about a negative reaction from her. “Y’ did that on purpose.”
Carol bit her lip and grinned unrepentantly, nodding. “I did,” she confessed. She leaned forward, running her hands over his chest. “Want me to do it again?”
His smoky blue eyes widened as his hands reached for her. “Gawd, woman, whatcha tryin’ t’ do, kill me?”
She squealed as he dragged her to lay across his chest and pulled her flush against his erection. “I dunno, Pookie … wanna screw around?” she purred, nuzzling against the rapidly beating pulse point beneath his jaw.
This time, it was he who initiated the kiss, showing her just how sweet and gentle he could be with her despite the heat raging through his veins. “We cain’t right now. Promised Soph we’d train with her.”
Carol sobered instantly at the mention of her daughter. “Ok,” she whispered against his lips before easing herself from his grip. “I’m afraid we’ve got our work cut out for us, though, with hand to hand. I only barely scratched the surface with weapons training.”
Daryl crossed his hands behind his head and watched as she went about gathering fresh clothes. “Took her out with me this mornin’. Showed her how t’ track some. She’s a smart kid.” He trailed off as she whipped her tank top over her head and reached for the bra she’d thrown on top of the dresser before she’d gone to sleep.
A small smirk lifted the corner of her mouth as his gaze followed the lines of soft navy lace as it came to cover her breasts. “Sophia has always been smart. I think part of it had to do with her wanting to draw the least attention from Ed. If she brought home straight A’s, he was less likely to have a reason to find fault with her.” Carol’s lips pressed into a thin line of disdain as she angrily shoved an arm into the sleeve of her beige button-up. “I should’ve known she suspected what was going on between me and her father, but I just didn’t want to believe it.”
Daryl sat up and scooted to the end of the bed, his hands going to her hips and pulling her close. He peppered her belly with kisses until she wrapped her arms around his head and buried her face in his crown. “I wish I could’ve been there for her … both of y’. Wish she was mine.”
A single tear escaped the corner of Carol’s eye before she could blink it back. “She is … if you want her, Daryl. I know it’s not the same as -“
He shook his head where it was still buried in her chest. “Blood ain’t everythin’. Me an’ you … we been fam’ly for what seems like forever, but now I jus’ want th’ chance I didn’t have last time t’ know your girl.”
Carol cradled his scruffy cheeks in her hands and pressed her brow to his. “I want that, too,” she murmured softly. “I want it all.”
Daryl cocked his head to the side and regarded her thoughtfully. “Y’ think we can have that, Carol? After th’ war we can find us a nice house with a picket fence an’ a place where we can safely raise our kids? Maybe get a dog for Soph?”
Her brow furrowed. “Kids? Daryl … baby, I can’t have any more children,” she lamented with a bitter turn of her lips. “I couldn’t risk it living with that monster.”
He couldn’t stand to see her so sad, and endeavored to make her smile for him again. “I was talkin’ about Sophia an’ Merle. Havin’ him around is gonna be like raisin’ two kids.”
Carol couldn’t help but laugh, her eyes sparkling with merriment. “You’re not wrong. Let’s hope he finds himself a woman quickly to distract him.”
Daryl snorted and let her go so she could finish dressing. “Now why you wanna let him loose on some poor unsuspectin’ woman? That’s jus’ mean, Carol.”
*.*.*
Daryl groaned, his eyes falling closed in bliss as Carol worked the kink from his left shoulder. The warm summer breeze and soft silver moonlight caressed his face, but even that familiar comfort couldn’t soothe him as thoroughly as Carol’s touch. He sank lower into the lawn chair situated atop the RV and contemplated hauling Carol around to sit on his lap.
Sophia’s training session hadn’t gone as planned, but had exceeded his expectations. He shook his head, thinking back to the determination she’d shown them. She was definitely not the same girl she’d been last time around. He didn’t think she knew the meaning of the word quit.
In the supplies he’d brought to the quarry, he’d included two knife handles he’d outfitted with a thick piece of foam over the hilt. He’d thought it a clever tool to use when training the kids. Too bad he hadn’t realized how much it would hurt when Sophia rammed it against his head. He and Merle were going to have bruises come dawn from the power she put behind her hits.
Daryl’s smile morphed into a grimace as the split on his lip pulled with a twinge of pain. He wouldn’t have minded it so much if it had been caused by Sophia’s enthusiasm, but it had been his brother’s fist planting in his mouth which was making him uncomfortable. Apparently, he’d taken exception to Daryl’s teasing remarks to the girl earlier in the day.
The brothers had rolled around on the sandy bank next to the lake, trading blows until Carol had broken them apart. They’d sat there in a time out until she’d deemed them properly chastised. His woman hadn’t been at all happy with them, claiming they were setting a bad example for her daughter. Unfortunately, Carol hadn’t seen the faces Sophia had pulled at them both while her mother’s back had been turned.
He didn’t feel guilty for making sure Sophia’s first training session was a bit more rigorous than he’d initially intended. At least she’d lost the trepidation which had clouded her features when he’d explained what he expected of her. Hell, he’d get in a fight with Merle on the daily if it would make the girl smile. She still had a long way to go, but she was off to a good start.
Sophia now sported a few bruises from more than one tumble to the ground, yet she hadn’t given up. Not by a long shot. By the time she’d put Merle on his ass for the umpteenth time, she’d been tired, but ready to go again. She didn’t know how much he was going to test her over the next week.
The gentle massage to his shoulder came to a halt, and he mourned the loss of Carol’s touch. She appeased him by leaning over to press a kiss to the beauty mark above the corner of his mouth. “Thank you,” she whispered softly, her breath warm against his lips. The sensation of having her so close lit his every nerve ending on fire.
“For what?” Daryl asked, taking her hand and pulling her down onto his lap.
Carol wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled her nose against his ear. “Everything,” she purred. “For being my man of honor, for loving me, for caring so deeply for my daughter.” She punctuated each reason with a kiss, his skin growing hot beneath her lips. “Shall I go on?”
Daryl brought her hand to his lips to press a kiss to her palm before moving it to rest over his heart. “It’s always been yours, sweetheart. You made me th’ man I am today.”
Carol shook her head. “Try again, Dixon.” She pressed a finger to his lips when he began to protest. “You were always a good man. You just didn’t know how to show it.”
He snorted. “I was an asshole. Don’t know why y’ even looked twice at me.”
She tilted her head to the side, a sly smirk stealing across her lips. “I’m pretty sure it had something to do with the way your pants stretch across that tight -“
Daryl didn’t let her finish, capturing her lips in a scorching kiss. His woman had always been a notorious flirt, and it seemed now that they’d admitted their feelings for one another, she was only going to get worse. He would get used to it, he thought as he kissed her long and deeply, reveling in the sweet taste of her.
His head spun, and the roaring of blood in his ears was all he could hear. Only it wasn’t the whoosh of life racing through his veins …
Carol jerked away from him, azure eyes wide with alarm, just as Merle’s head popped up through the trap door leading into the RV. She was instantly on her feet, reaching for the binoculars she kept next to the lawn chair reserved for watch.
“The hell’s that racket?” Merle asked, pulling himself up to stand beside her.
Daryl raked a hand through his short hair and watched the F-16’s fly overhead. “They’re bombing Atlanta,” he murmured in a defeated tone.
Merle stared in horror as the night sky was illuminated with a fiery glow and the sound of death and destruction followed with the release of the jets’ payload. “Sumbitch!”
Carol passed the field glasses to Merle - in case he wanted a better look - and sank back against Daryl as his arms closed firmly around her waist. She didn’t say a word, memories of her past drifting across her mind’s eye. Another time, a different place … Carl and Sophia playing checkers on the tailgate of the Cherokee … Ed hovering over her shoulder with a scowl as she’d offered a bit of food to the boy from their meager supplies … Shane and Lori rushing off into the woods to watch as Atlanta was destroyed.
She sent up a silent prayer, thanking whatever deity who might be watching for the comfort of Daryl’s arms instead of the threat Ed had posed. It gave her strength to hold her tears at bay, and confidence in knowing they were better prepared for whatever fate had in store for them this time.
Merle lowered the binoculars and sighed heavily. “Fuckin’ government. Leave it t’ them assholes t’ make everythin’ worse. Least Peach didn’t have t’ see this shit.”
Daryl lifted his chin from Carol’s shoulder to inquire, “She sleepin’?”
“Yeah … passed out watchin’ some Disney cartoon with this hairy dude an’ a girl in a gold dress,” Merle replied, scratching his head. “I mean, who comes up with this kinda crap. Ain’t it s’posed t’ be a kid’s show?”
Carol cracked a smile, unable to help herself. “God, Merle. We just watched Atlanta fall and you’re worrying about Sophia’s choice in movies.”
Daryl chuckled and returned to his seat, settling Carol on his lap once more. “Cut him some slack, sweetheart. We’re dealin’ with Merle logic.”
“Merle logic?”
He nodded, grinning at their confusion … especially his brother’s. “Yup … logic only Merle understands.”
The eldest Dixon flipped Daryl a rude gesture which made Carol laugh. “Fuck you, Darylina!”
Notes:
A/n: I’m so sorry this took so long. Been back in the hospital … again. Yeah, story of my life. Anyway, I really hope you decided to come back for this latest installment. I’m hoping the next one doesn’t take as long. Thank you all so much for reading!
Chapter Text
Carol smiled into her pillow as long calloused fingers skimmed her upper arm in a feather-light caress. She hummed her approval, but her gaze remained focused on the view just outside their bedroom window of the RV. The first streaks of dawn lit the sky in hues of pink, grey and indigo, and she was forced to stifle a yawn.
“Y’ should try t’ sleep,” Daryl murmured in barely more than a whisper as he pressed his lips to the sensitive spot behind her ear. “Been up all night watching for ‘em, ain’t y’?”
She shrugged one bare shoulder, her tank leaving little to the imagination. “I can’t remember how early we got here last time. Things were so hectic, and Ed under pressure and disagreeable to Shane’s plans left little room for clear memories.”
“Shoulda fed th’ bastard t’ th’ first walker y’ came across,” he grumbled irritably as he rolled onto his back and slung an arm over his eyes.
Carol turned to face him, curling herself into his left side and tracing soothing circles over his chest. “You remember how I was, Daryl … weak, terrified out of my mind, afraid to say or do the wrong thing to provoke Ed's temper. He wasn’t much protection, but it was better than if Sophia and I had been alone.”
Daryl sighed, wrapping his arms tightly about her and pulling her closer. “I wanted t’ kill him, Carol. Ain’t never wanted nothin’ so badly. Was more than a little disappointed he wasn’t here at th’ quarry when we got here an’ found you an’ Sophia.”
Her head fell back against his shoulder as she sought his gaze. “Thankfully, you didn’t have to end him. You would have enjoyed it too much, and it would have left its mark on you.”
He ran a hand through his mussed hair, his brow furrowing as he looked down at her. “Ain’t like I don’t already have blood on my hands. I ain’t never confessed t’ bein’ a saint.”
“There’s a difference between killing someone out of necessity and killing someone for revenge or enjoyment.” She leaned up to brush her lips to his. “You’re not a murderer.”
“I could be … if someone tried t’ hurt you or Soph.” He refused to argue the point. At one time or another, they’d all been forced to kill in order to survive. He knew for a fact, he’d kill Negan without the slightest qualm despite whatever protests Carol might voice.
Carol didn’t like the stone-cold seriousness fairly glowing behind his smoky blue eyes. She knew better than anyone what he was capable of. He’d been their fiercest warrior during the war with the Saviors, but there were things he’d suffered as Negan’s captive he hadn’t even shared with her.
“I can only pray we never have to find out.”
She didn’t give him a chance to respond, her small hands delving into his short hair as she pulled him down to meet her lips. He was helpless to resist even had he wanted to. Nothing meant more to him than Carol, and he’d never been able to deny her anything. He gave himself over to the sheer pleasure of her touch as she dragged him atop her.
Heat flared through his veins, and his hands shook as he roughly gripped her hips. She sought to devour him, her tongue sweeping past his lips to dance with his, her teeth nipping sharply at his bottom lip, forcing a groan to ripple forth from his throat. God, how he wanted her with a vengeance.
As a child, Daryl had dared to dream for things he’d wanted, childish things every kid wanted. As a teenager, he’d desired things which should have been provided by his parents; a home, a loving family, food on the table and other basic needs. When the world had gone to shit, all he’d wanted was a safe place to lay his head and his brother at his side. It all paled in comparison to the woman writhing in his arms.
He’d floundered through life, following his brother, aimless and resigned. It wasn’t until he’d found Carol that he’d begun to believe he could be someone … a friend, a brother, an honorable man. Now, given a second chance, he had a family and a future for which he was willing to fight.
Daryl still didn’t know how he’d been lucky enough to find a woman who could love him with her whole heart, but he was done questioning it. His fears and inhibitions crumbled to ash as he threw himself into the kiss, hoping to convey just how much he loved her.
Carol’s smile was the epitome of sin as she broke the kiss and hooked one long slender leg over his hip. A shiver wracked his body as she pulled him into her, her hips rising to grind her core against his cloth-covered cock. He braced himself on his forearms, rearing back as he sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes slamming closed. He was so close, and they’d barely even begun. It hadn’t been like this that one time he’d had sex. Being like this with Carol was so much … more.
He buried his face against the ivory column of her neck, overwrought with sensation, uncertain of which to focus his energy on. He just knew he needed to regain a firmer grip on his flagging control before he embarrassed himself. He’d rather die than disappoint her now.
“Carol … sweetheart, if y’ don’t … fuckin’ Christ, woman!” he sputtered, nipping sharply at her collarbone when she giggled.
Her hand crept down over his abdomen, nails combing through the thin line of hair which led into the waistband of his sweats. His grip on her hip tightened as Carol easily slipped inside and her fingers wrapped around his erection. He forgot to breathe, lost in a surge of pure lust which fogged his brain and forced a whimper past his lips. He was sure he’d be mortified by the memory of it later, but now he was too far gone to care.
Carol couldn’t help but notice how his arms shook as they were forced to hold himself up. She used the strength in her legs to maneuver him onto his back, a move he’d shown her long ago when he’d been teaching her self-defense during that arduous winter on the road.
Daryl blinked up at her, his chest heaving with labored breaths. He tried valiantly to show her he wasn’t afraid to take that next step, though he feared she could hear the rapid beating of his heart. It was so loud in his ears, the muted sounds of nature just outside their haven. He caressed the smooth skin of her thighs, finally easing the bruising grip he’d maintained on her hips. Cobalt eyes, darkened with desire, watched her trustingly, waiting for her next move.
Carol bit her lip uncertainly as she brought her hands to toy with the hem of her tank top. “Daryl, do you want -“
His hands joined hers, holding her gaze as he began to inch the soft material upwards. “Yeah … yeah, I want,” he growled, watching as she shivered at the sound.
She whipped the shirt over her head and tossed it towards the end of the bed before falling forward against his chest, her lips crashing into his. She reached for her prize once more as his blunt nails scored her back. A low hiss escaped his parted lips as his head dropped deeper into the pillow, his back arching, needing more of her touch, and Carol smiled.
Daryl couldn’t hold back the primal sounds emanating from his throat as she stroked him, his own hands swift and rough as he sought to touch as much of her skin as he could, finally coming to cup one plump breast. His heavily lidded gaze fought to take in every single nuance of her expression, wanting - no, needing - to know he was bringing her the same pleasure.
He buried his face against her throat as she worked his body with expert ease, his teeth leaving a mark near her collarbone to muffle his cry as she brought him over the edge more quickly than he would have liked.
Carol bounced on his chest as Daryl struggled to calm his racing heart and catch his breath. She pressed gentle kisses to his jaw, feeling his skin heat beneath her lips.
“Shh … just breathe, baby,” she crooned, running her fingers through his sweaty hair. “I’ve got you.”
He swiped a hand over his face before slinging his arm over his eyes, unable to bring himself to meet her gaze, shame washing through him.
And she knew … of course, she did. Carol shook her head as she sat back on his thighs, one hand planted in the center of his chest. “Daryl, look at me,” she commanded gently.
Daryl removed his arm, but the fleeting glance he shot her way didn’t last but a nanosecond. “Don’t know why you’d want me to.”
Carol cradled his jaw in her warm palm. “Because I love you.”
“But -“
She covered his lips with hers, kissing him softly and then rejoicing when he finally responded. “But nothing. I love you, Daryl … no more hiding or running. We’re trying, remember?” When he finally met her gaze, she kissed him again. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Daryl snorted. “Bullshit. Think I ain’t dreamed o’ bein’ with y’ this way a million times? Didn’t last a full minute.”
Carol arched a brow, her eyes sparkling merrily. “Well, you can’t be perfect in everything, Dixon.” She nipped sharply at his bottom lip, a smirk toying at her mouth. “What was it you told me when you were teaching me to shoot your crossbow? Something about … practice makes perfect?”
He wanted to argue … he really did. He wanted to convince her that she deserved better, but when her lips settled over his and her tongue languidly swept over the crease seeking entry, his mind turned to mush, and he was helpless to do anything but respond accordingly. He’d always been a slave to her whims … not that he’d ever admit it to another living soul.
Carol purred low in the back of her throat as his hands smoothed over her bare back, his blunt nails raking deliciously against her backside through her barely-there sleeping shorts. She ground her hips against his groin as she ravished his mouth, coaxing his body back to life.
Daryl let himself go, falling victim to her siren’s call once more. The outside world fell away, leaving the two of them …
The door to their sanctuary burst open, followed by Merle’s blustering voice. “What th’ fuck, Darylina? There’s an entire convoy makin’ its way up th’ mountain an’ yer in here tryin’ t’ get yer dick wet!”
Carol shrieked as she was flipped over onto her back and Daryl’s entire weight smashed her into the mattress. She found herself thanking the heavens for the foresight to have bought the more expensive pillow-top rather than keeping the thinner stock model.
“Goddamnit, Merle! When y’ ever gonna learn t’ knock?!” the younger Dixon growled at his brother.
Merle rolled his eyes. “I didn’t bust up on in here t’ ogle yer woman, lil’ brother. Though I wouldn’t mind takin’ advantage o’ havin’ a gander at a later date.”
Carol grabbed the alarm clock off the nightstand and chucked it at his head.
He ducked just in time. “Hell, Mouse, watch where yer throwin’ shit. Y’all are actin’ like I’m some kinda pervert -“
“Y’ are a pervert,” Daryl yelled over his shoulder. “Get th’ fuck out so Carol can get dressed!”
Merle grinned and leaned against the door jamb. “A’right … so y’ don’t care that we’re being invaded, I take it. Well, I’ll just let y’ get back t’ yer he-in’ an’ she-in’.”
Daryl was so taken aback by his brother’s very relevant announcement, he nearly exposed Carol to Merle’s leering gaze. Her arm locking around his neck in a death grip halted his escape quite effectively, however.
“Where’s Sophia? Is she still sleeping?” Carol bit out, a grimace crossing her features as Daryl’s elbow caught one of her ribs.
“Naw, she’s topside on watch. Knowin’ that lil’ Rambo, she’s likely got ‘em all in her crosshairs,” Merle chuckled. He couldn’t remember when he’d been more amused.
“Goddamnit!” Daryl growled. “Well, get out there instead o’ wastin’ time jawin’ at me an’ hopin’ t’ get a good look at my woman.”
Carol couldn’t help the rush of heat which accompanied his very blatant claim, but he’d no doubt shoot up off of her like a scalded cat - in essence causing her to lose her cover - if she sought the friction she desired. “Please, Merle. Give us a minute to get dressed and we’ll meet you outside.”
Merle crossed his arms over his chest and sucked his teeth, further annoying his brother before he finally relented. “Anythin’ for you, lil’ darlin’.” He grinned as he opened the door. “I’ll go greet yer friends, but … y’ didn’t say I had t’ be nice about it.”
Two voices echoed through the room as they scrambled for their clothes. “Shit!”
*.*.*
Daryl caught Sophia as she scrambled down the ladder, the momentum of her weight, and the nervous excitement which had her panting, sending her stumbling into him. “Whoa there, kid. Slow your ass down b’fore y’ hurt yourself,” he warned, catching her before she could fall.
“Daryl, there are people outside. Lots of them,” she whispered urgently. “I counted at least three cars and an RV … though it wasn’t as big as ours. Who do you think they are? Should we be worried? Merle told me to come inside.”
Carol drew Sophia to her side and brushed a soothing hand over the girl’s golden hair. “I’m sure they’re just looking for a safe place to camp, baby. They might have gotten stuck out on the highway trying to get to one of the refugee centers.”
“Well, we ain’t gonna find out standing around in here. C’mon,” Daryl said, making his way towards the door. “We don’t need Merle scaring ‘em off.”
Carol followed him outside, keeping Sophia close to her side and tucked between herself and Daryl. The breath caught in her throat as she watched Shane get out of his Jeep. She could just see Lori and Carl through the dusty windshield, eyes wide and curious with that ever-present hint of fear which was the norm since the virus had spread.
She was suddenly faced with the ghosts of her past, and it took a concerted effort not to break down from the sheer joy coursing through her body. It made her happy that Merle was standing there so cool, calm and collected, ready to represent their family to the newcomers.
Daryl, however, was fraught with tension, just waiting for Merle to open his mouth and say the wrong thing. It wouldn’t do a bit of good to argue because there was no stopping his older brother from doing whatever the hell he wanted. If he thought these people were somehow a threat to Daryl or the girls, there was no way he’d let them stay.
The eldest Dixon waited patiently beneath the awning for the man to make his way forward, a ball cap with a badge emblazoned on the front, hiding dark eyes. Merle hated him on principle, and the cocky attitude he exuded didn’t help matters.
“That’s quite a group y’ got there,” he said, stating the obvious. “Y’all get lost on the way t’ one o’ those evac centers?”
Shane removed his cap and raked his fingers through his dark hair. “Yeah, we were on our way to the one they’d set up on the outskirts of Atlanta, but after the bombings last night, that’s no longer an option.” He looked back at the caravan which had followed him up the gravel road. “Dale – he’s the man with the Winnebago - suggested this place … said it had been abandoned years ago and thought it might be a safe place for us to lay low for a bit until we could figure out our next move.”
“S’that right?” Merle drawled. “M’ fam’ly … we thought th’ same thing. Don’t see why yer group couldn’t set up here with us. Not like we own th’ land, an’ y’ don’t seem like th’ type t’ try an’ steal from us.”
Daryl groaned inwardly, forcing his hand to remain at his side instead of using it to smack himself in the forehead. If only Merle could see the irony of that statement.
Shane eyed the man before him, taking his measure before he got a good look at their setup. Merle knew he might be rough around the edges, but he didn’t think his demeanor screamed axe murderer.
Finally, the deputy held out his hand for Merle to shake. “Officer Shane Walsh of King County … Nice to meet you.”
Merle shook his hand. “Likewise. Merle Dixon,” he introduced himself as he glanced over his shoulder at his family. “That there’s m’ baby brother, Daryl, his wife Carol and their daughter, Sophia.”
Carol and Daryl shared a look and inched closer together, shielding Sophia behind them to conceal the outright shock written over her pale features.
Carol stepped forward and smiled brightly, wearing what Daryl liked to call her ‘Alexandria mask’. “It’s so nice to meet you, Officer,” she beamed. “You must have been caught up on the highway for a long time. If you’d like to help your group settle in, I’m sure I could whip up a meal for everyone.”
“Yeah, if y’ don’t mind rabbit. Woods are teemin’ with wildlife an’ there’s no shortage of fresh game,” Daryl added.
The corners of Shane’s mouth twitched up into a grateful smile. “I hate to impose on your hospitality, ma’am, but I’d be mighty appreciative. I’m afraid we weren’t really thinking of food when the evacuation started, and we have several kids under the age of thirteen. We were more worried about getting away from those things before we got cornered.”
“Then I suppose we should get started,” Carol told him, her smile never faltering as she turned and ushered her ‘husband’ and daughter inside the RV.
Merle smirked after them. He couldn’t wait to hear Daryl’s reaction to his little bombshell. His brother’s temper would be glorious to behold, and more than a little amusing.
He turned his attention back to Shane and pointed towards the path. “Trail there leads down t’ th’ lake. Water’s good, but for safety’s sake, I advise t’ boil before use. We have some trip wires around th’ perimeter t’ alert us should anythin’ get too close t’ th’ camp, and there’s snares set a bit past th’ tree line. Watch where yer walkin’, an’ y’ should be fine.”
Shane scratched the back of his head as he listened to everything Merle had to impart. “Y’all some of those doomsday preppers or something?”
Merle grinned. “Or somethin’. Anyway, just pick a spot an’ settle in. I’m sure Carol will let y’all know when lunch is ready.”
Without another word, he climbed the steps to the RV and went inside.
*.*.*
“Have y’ lost what’s left of your fuckin’ mind?!” Daryl whisper-shouted the second Merle closed the door behind him. “What the hell were y’ thinkin’ tellin’ him Carol’s m’ wife!?”
“That’s what I’d like to know, too,” Sophia piped up, waving the peeler she was using to skin potatoes in Merle’s direction. “Because if I missed the wedding, I’m gonna be pissed -“
“Sophia, language!” Carol admonished as she pulled a container of quartered rabbits from the refrigerator.
Merle crossed his arms over his chest and smiled smugly at his brother. “I dunno why th’ hell y’ got yer knickers in a twist. Y’ got any clue as t’ what kinda shit we’re dealin’ with?”
Daryl’s cheeks reddened further with rage. “Y’ really expect me t’ answer that?”
“Jus’ hear me out, will y’?” He ticked off the first points on his fingers. “One, these walkin’ corpses are out there eatin’ th’ livin’. Two, there’s a breakdown in government … no cops, no one t’ enforce th’ law. Three, y’ know there are lowlifes out there who didn’t give a shit about basic human decency before this shit went down, so they sure as shit won’t give a damn now. Four, if yer woman ain’t claimed by you, some asshole is gonna see her as fair game an’ try t’ take her from y’. I jus’ did y’ a favor, baby brother.”
Sophia nodded and went back to her potatoes. “So, we’re just pretending Mom and Daryl are married. At least I didn’t miss the wedding.”
“That’s beside th’ point, baby girl,” Daryl said with a shake of his head, his voice softening as he addressed her. His eyes flashed hotly, however, when he turned his attention back onto his brother. He stepped right into his space and poked a finger into the center of his chest. “Did y’ ever stop t’ think of how Carol might feel about your little slip o’ th’ tongue?”
“Daryl, it’s no big deal … really,” Carol murmured, concentrating on seasoning the meat she’d be dumping into the stew pot.
“See, lil’ brother, she don’t oppose t’ th’ idea of bein’ yer wife.” He lifted the bag of potatoes off the table and took the pot Sophia was using to store the peeled spuds. “C’mon, Peach … let’s leave yer parents t’ talk. We can sit outside and get these peeled and diced.”
The girl happily followed him outside, but he paused in the open doorway, digging into his pocket for the keyring which held his motorcycle key.
Daryl’s mouth gaped open as he watched his brother remove a set of rings from the keyring and lay them on the counter. “They’re yours if y’ want ‘em. I think he’d’ve wanted y’ t’ have ‘em, t’ be honest,” Merle said quietly.
“Granddaddy left those t’ you, Merle. I cain’t –“ Daryl protested, but Merle was quick to cut him off.
“Y’ can. Ain’t likely I’ll ever find what y’ got with Carol. I want y’ t’ have ‘em.” He cleared his throat to banish the awkwardness which seemed to settle heavily in the room. “Jus’ don’t go off an’ lose th’ damn things.”
Daryl peeked up at Carol from beneath his lashes, trying to gauge her reaction. She still stood next to her work surface, but her hands were idle as she stared down at the meat she’d already cut into smaller pieces. “’M sorry, I –“
“Does it really bother you so much?” she asked, her voice an anguished whisper.
“What? No!” he assured her, moving to press himself flush with her back as his arms banded around her waist. “I jus’ don’t want Merle’s big mouth t’ put y’ in an uncomfortable situation. I –“
She wiped her hands clean on a dish towel and turned around in his arms, fingers nervously plucking at a button on his shirt. “Are you afraid I wouldn’t want to be your wife?”
Daryl gnawed incessantly at the inside of his lower lip, his chin coming to rest against his chest as he nodded. He couldn’t bring himself to meet her gaze and see rejection lurking behind her bright blue eyes. He knew she loved him, but love wasn’t necessarily enough to make her want to marry him.
Gentle fingers crept beneath his chin, lifting his head and forcing him to meet her gaze. “Ask me, Daryl,” she commanded gently, her eyes swimming with unshed tears.
“I … I love y’, Carol … be m’ wife?” he asked, having to clear his throat more than once before he could force the words out.
He hadn’t dropped to one knee or serenaded her with flowery prose, but Carol couldn’t have dreamed of a more perfect marriage proposal. Her hands slid up his chest to caress his nape before she twined her fingers through his short hair. “Yes!” she whispered against his lips.
His lips brushed hers gently, reverently, before she lost patience and deepened the kiss. When he pulled away, they were both breathless, and he let his brow come to rest against hers as he clung to her. “It’s always been you. Y’ know that, right?” he murmured, their breaths mingling. “Should’ve told y’ sooner.”
Carol drew circles over his heart with a lone fingertip. “I think we were both afraid of getting hurt. It doesn’t matter, Daryl. Our path led us here, and I couldn’t be more pleased … and hopeful.”
“S’long as we’re t’gether.” He caught her hand in his before she could reach for the bands. “Y’ really sure this is what y’ want? Not jus’ pretendin’, but th’ real thing? I mean, this is it. If everyone thinks we’re already married, we ain’t gonna have a chance for a ceremony or nothin’.”
“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my entire life.” She collected the rings from the counter where Merle had left them and slid the ebony band onto his finger, bringing his hand to her lips so she could press a kiss to his knuckle. “My husband.”
Daryl did the same, sliding the filigree band, with its tiny pearls embedded amongst the miniscule leaves, onto her finger and pressing a kiss to her palm. She shivered, her eyes darkening and falling to half-mast. “M’ wife.”
He’d just leaned in to kiss her petal soft lips when the door of the RV swung open and Merle poked his head inside. “We gonna cook up some stew, or y’all gonna stand around all day suckin’ face? Get yer asses out here!”
“Yeah, yeah, bossy bitch!” Daryl grumbled under his breath, grabbing the container of prepared meat and heading towards the door.
Carol pressed her hands to her blushing cheeks and smiled. Goodbye, Carol Peletier … Hello, Carol Dixon.
Chapter 11
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“It’s not fair,” Sophia pouted, wide hazel eyes lifting in challenge to meet her mother’s unflinching gaze. “If you and Daryl were gonna get married, I wanted to be the flower girl. I mean, come on, Mom … I expected to at least be there.”
“Baby, I’ve already explained why we did it this way,” Carol said gently as she continued to cut onions and carrots for the stew pot. “Is that all you can think about … not being there? I’d think you’d be worried about whether or not he’d make a good stepfather for you. You’ve known him all of five minutes, and after what Ed put us both through …” She trailed off, shaking her head over her past mistakes. “I just want to make sure you’re ok with this.”
Sophia looked over her shoulder to where her new stepfather hovered nearby beneath the awning keeping watch over them. “I like Daryl, Mom. In a lot of ways, I think he’s the best thing that ever happened to you, and he makes you happy. Besides, it doesn’t matter how long I’ve known him. You’re the one who married him.” She grinned as she stirred the roux within the large cast iron pot. “Not to mention, he’s really cool. He doesn’t treat me less as a person because I’m twelve.”
Carol was forced to blink several times to clear away the moisture which had gathered in her eyes at her daughter’s admission. “He cares for you, Sophia. He wants us to be a family. He’d never treat us like … I want you to be happy, too.”
“I know he’s nothing like Ed.”
Carol set her knife aside and wrapped her arms around Sophia’s thin shoulders. “He’s a good man, and I’m glad you’re willing to give him a chance. But, baby, you can’t tell anyone we weren’t married before the outbreak.”
Sophia nodded. “Yeah … Merle said it was to protect us. I get it.” She set her spoon aside, a small line appearing between her brows as her mother raised the temperature on the portable camp stove and added onions and garlic to the roux. “Do you think I should call him ‘Dad’?”
A soft voice intruded before her mother could answer. “Y’ can call me whatever y’ want, Soph,” Daryl said, peering at her from beneath his lashes. “But I don’t want y’ t’ feel pressured into it. Not if y’ ain’t ready or anythin’. S’up t’ you.”
She was silent for several minutes, thinking it over as her parents shared a soft look. “I didn’t really have one before,” she admitted, a note of bitterness coloring her tone. “Ed was … well, dads are supposed to love you. They shouldn’t treat you badly if …” Her breathing stuttered and tears welled in her eyes. She couldn’t articulate what she wanted to say, but she had a feeling he knew all too well what she meant.
Daryl didn’t even flinch as she shot forward and wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face against his chest. “’S a’right, Soph, I got y’,” he murmured softly, cocooning her in his embrace.
Carol had to turn away from them and concentrate on her task, so he wouldn’t see the tears which escaped the corners of her eyes. She’d known how horribly he’d been affected by Sophia’s death in their past life, but to see the depth of his love for her daughter was simply overwhelming.
“I’m glad we’re a real family now,” the girl whispered, stepping back and wiping away her tears on the back of her hand. “I’ll try to be a good daughter to you.”
Daryl tousled her hair, earning a smile. “Y’ already are, baby girl.”
*.*.*
Carol sighed in frustration, wishing there was something she could do to ease her new husband’s anxiety. She still couldn’t believe it. Even after years of wanting nothing more than to be his wife, to have him trust her enough to allow her into his heart, she’d never dreamed it would actually happen. She didn’t think his tension had anything to do with Daryl’s unrest, however.
Merle had let Shane lead him off through the camp of rag-tag survivors for some type of meet and greet, but Daryl hadn’t wanted to leave her and Sophia unguarded. He knew each and every person by name, but he refused to trust that God - or whoever hadn’t messed with their memories as they had with his and Carol’s - hadn’t decided to play the same cosmic joke on other members of the group. What if they weren’t the harmless refugees he and Carol remembered, Daryl had argued.
Now, he sat near their dormant fire pit with Sophia attached to his side, teaching her how to use the whetstone to sharpen her knife. Perhaps some of the women would have ventured closer if Daryl hadn’t exuded blatant distrust evidenced in his scowling countenance. Carol was nearly of a mind to drag him down to the lake and see if she could successfully catch him off guard long enough to toss him in. At the very least, it would give him a chance to cool off.
“Excuse me … hi.”
A shiver tripped up Carol’s spine, tears stinging her eyes once more as emotion threatened to overwhelm her. The sound of that soft voice sent a wealth of memories to flood her mind … teasing between them as they sorted laundry, a reassuring smile as they prepared dinner, comfort over the loss of Sophia and hope for Carl’s recovery. She had to force them away so she could lift her gaze, azure locking with sable.
“H-Hi,” she stammered out, having to clear her throat as her voice broke. Carol glanced down to see a pair of curious eyes peering out from behind the woman. Of course, she’d noticed him watching the activity in her campsite. It only surprised her that he hadn’t slipped past his mother’s notice to sneak over and introduce himself.
Lori fidgeted with the chain hanging from her neck as she wrapped an arm around her son. “I thought I’d come over to see if you needed a hand with lunch,” she offered with a small smile. “And Carl here hasn’t been able to take his eyes off your daughter. He was really excited to see there were other kids his age in camp.”
“Mom,” the boy groaned. “You know that’s not why. Eliza and Louis are my age, too.”
Carol smiled. She had a gut feeling she knew what drew Carl’s attention, and it had nothing to do with the fact that Sophia was his age or making new friends. He was simply fascinated by the small arsenal clearly evident on her person. She could practically hear the gears grinding in his head as he wondered how he could get himself a gun of his own. Lori would likely have pigs fly out her ass rather than arm her son this early on.
“Why don’t you go on over and say hello,” Carol suggested.
She could see the desire to do just that written on his face, but instead of running over to meet her, he took a wary step closer to his mother.
Lori chuckled. “I think he might be a little intimidated by your husband.”
Carol shook her head. “I’m sure he wouldn’t shoot you on your first day in camp,” she teased the boy. “Go on and talk to Sophia.”
Carl looked up at his mother who nodded her approval before he made his way to where Sophia sat with Daryl.
“He might look a little rough, but I assure you he’s a good man,” Carol said, wiping her hands on a dish towel and ushering Lori beneath the awning. “I’m Carol, by the way.”
“Lori Grimes,” the woman introduced herself in return, settling into the camp chair offered, “and that’s my son, Carl.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Lori. Lunch should be ready soon … just waiting on the rice to finish.” Carol sat down next to her and took a long swallow from the water bottle resting in the cup holder. “Your husband told us it had been a while since you’d eaten.”
The brunette’s face fell, a deep furrow appearing between her brows. “He’s not … Shane’s a close family friend. My husband was a police officer, and Shane was his partner. He was shot in the line of duty, and he … he didn’t make it.”
Carol reached out and laid a comforting hand on her friend’s shoulder, fighting off the strong sense of deja vu which settled over her. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Lori brushed away her tears and pasted on a brave smile, the loss still fresh. “The hospital was going to evacuate him to Atlanta, but things fell apart before they could transport him.”
Carol bit her lip, weighing her words. She knew she’d have to tread lightly. “After the bombings last night, it’s a good thing his transport was delayed. Maybe he was sent to another facility, and -“
The woman shook her head, her hand wrapping around the delicate silver chain once more. Carol could just barely see the two wedding bands where they peeked from beneath Lori’s shirt. “No, he was in a coma. Shane was there when the hospital was attacked first by those things, and then by the military. Rick couldn’t have survived that. At least he didn’t have to suffer.”
Carol wanted to ask if Lori had seen his body to confirm her husband’s death, but she already knew the answer and didn’t want to further upset her friend. She’d missed her so much; it was a struggle not to reach out and hug her.
“You’re lucky Shane was there to get you and your son out.”
Lori nodded, crossing her arms over her chest as she fought with her emotions. “I really am.” She sniffed, her gaze coming to rest on Carl where he sat with Sophia talking animatedly. She tried to smile as she gestured towards the RV. “Your family seems to be doing well with everything going on.”
Carol shot her a guarded look as she rose to her feet to give the stew a quick stir. “We do alright. When the first reports came on the news, we had a bad feeling things would go badly. So, we packed up the RV and headed out here. We didn’t want to get caught in the city if there was an evacuation, nor did we want Sophia in danger.” It wasn’t a complete convolution of the truth … only a little white lie.
The bell on the rice cooker dinged, saving Carol from having to elaborate further.
*.*.*
Sophia tried to keep her focus on guiding her knife across the whetstone as Daryl had shown her. Honing her newfound skills was much more important than entertaining the boy across from her. He seemed to be around her age - as did the other two kids she’d seen running through camp - but he lacked her maturity. He had clearly never lacked for anything in his life, whether it be his parent’s love or financial stability.
She couldn’t help but notice how his clear blue gaze kept wandering over her knife and the gun on her hip. She was thankful she’d left her bow on the roof of the RV after watch. He’d surely faint if he got a good look at her prized recurve. Sophia shook her head and went back to listening with half an ear as Carl prattled on with his questions.
“So, where are you from?” he asked again. It was the third time, and she was getting a little tired of the same query, but she didn’t know if Daryl wanted her to be that forthcoming.
“What’s it matter?” she snapped. “It’s not like we can go back. No more home or school or sleepovers with friends.” She lifted her fiery hazel eyes to glare at him. “Nothing but surviving.”
“Mom said it was just temporary until the army can get those infected rounded up and taken to the hospital.”
Sophia shot a look at the willowy thin woman talking with her mother. “Yeah, she really looks like she knows what’s going on. Either that or she’s just trying to protect you.”
Daryl laid a hand over hers and shook his head. “That’s enough, Soph. There ain’t no reason for y’ t’ scare th’ boy.”
Her hand trembled as she slipped her knife back into its sheath and really looked at Carl for the first time. “Sorry,” she apologized quietly, “I’m still trying to get used to how things are now, too. I’m sure your mom and dad will -“
Carl looked over at Shane where he was helping a pair of blonde sisters set up their tent next to the Winnebago. “Oh, Shane’s not my dad.” His tone dropped in register as did his chin. “My dad died. Shane was his best friend. He got us out.”
Daryl bit back a snort. He remembered vividly just how close Rick and Shane had been towards the end. He wondered how it would play out this time.
“He seems nice,” Sophia offered lamely for want of something to say.
“Carl!” Lori called, waving him over. “Come help me round everyone up for lunch.”
“Coming, Mom.” He hesitated before running off to join her. “Hey, do you think we could hang out later? I could introduce you to Louis and Eliza.”
Sophia nodded and then blew out a frustrated breath as he left. “Dad,” she said, testing the word out on her tongue and liking how it felt, “that boy’s gonna get eaten.”
Daryl nearly choked on the water he’d just raised to his lips. “Th’ hell, Soph? Y’ cain’t go around sayin’ shit like that.”
She shrugged. “Doesn’t mean it’s not true.” She let her eyes wander over the group. “Look at them - all of them - walking around without a weapon in sight. What’re they going to do if some of those things show up? Hit them with a chair? I haven’t seen any of them with a knife or gun,” she huffed.
He had to admit she had a point. “All this shit that went down has ‘em runnin’ scared. They don’t know the first thing about it. Y’ can bet they packed up what they could and got outta dodge, heading to’ th’ refugee centers and thinkin’ th’ government or th’ military would take care of ‘em. Now that they’re cut off from that, they ain’t got a clue as t’ what t’ do next.”
“And I didn’t help matters by sayin’ what I did to that boy, did I?”
Daryl rose to his feet and offered her a hand up before slinging an arm around her shoulders and steering her in the direction of her mother. “Jus’ ‘cause th’ world’s goin’ t’ shit don’t mean y’ cain’t make new friends. Couldn’t hurt,” he shrugged.
Sophia rolled her eyes and huffed, “Fine.”
He gave her a playful nudge. “C’mon, let’s go help your mama.”
*.*.*
Knowing him as well as she did, it didn’t surprise her in the least that Daryl sat quietly at her side and left it to her to carry the conversation. He focused on his food, silently observing, taking everything in as he kept an eye on their daughter.
Sophia sat with the other children mere yards away, listening to their own versions of escaping their hometowns and the horrors from which their parents hadn’t been able to shield them. Carol was rather relieved Sophia was willing to give them a chance and make new friends. She worried about her despite Sophia’s brave new personality.
She turned her attention back to Shane as he dropped his spoon into his empty tin bowl. “I have to say, Mrs Dixon … that was the finest stew I think I’ve ever eaten. I’m very much obliged for your hospitality.”
Carol smiled shyly, still afraid to show these people her true self. They would soon become her family, and she didn’t want to scare them off before they got a chance to know her.
“There’s more if you’re still hungry. I made plenty.”
“I will admit,” Andrea piped up, “I never thought I would be sitting here eating Bugs Bunny.”
Her sister pulled a grimace and then glared at the blonde. “Eww, gross. Now that’s all I’ll be able to think of when I eat. Thanks a lot, sis.”
Dale laughed softly. “Well, it’s not like we could just pop in to the local Walmart for a few packages of steaks.”
Andrea looked as if she were ready to argue, so Carol headed her off before she could find a suitable retort. “So, Dale, where were you headed when the evacuation began?”
“Nowhere special, to be honest. Irma and I had always planned to see the country,” he smiled, wizened eyes misting with sadness as he thought of his late wife. “After she died, I sold the house and set out to fulfill her last wish to see the country.” He nodded in the direction of the sisters. “I met these two ladies on the road. Thought I’d offer them a ride.”
Amy smiled Carol’s way. “I was on break from school -“
“She just graduated from the University of Florida in Gainesville. They have a stellar nursing program. Amy is an RN now,” Andrea bragged proudly.
The younger of the Harrison sisters glared. “I’m so glad you’re here, Andrea. For a second there, I forgot how to speak for myself.”
Daryl snorted, earning a shoulder nudge from his wife.
“As I was saying,” Amy huffed, “We were taking a road trip so we could spend some time together before I started my new job. We’d barely made it out of Florida when the military started routing everyone to refugee camps. Thankfully, when Andrea’s Beamer went belly-up, Dale was there to rescue us.”
The sisters both shot him a grateful smile.
Carol turned her gaze to Glenn who sat quietly on Dale’s other side. “What about you … Glenn, right?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied with a faint tinge of pink to his cheeks. “Um … I was just trying to get out of Atlanta like a million other people, but the traffic was a nightmare. Car got stuck when I tried to go around, so I started walking. I was cornered by about a dozen geeks when I saw Dale waving at me. I couldn’t pass up a ride out of there.”
Jacqui tapped a nail against her tin cup of water and reached out to pat Glenn on the knee. “Seems like he’s your guardian angel.”
T-Dog leaned back against the seat he’d removed from the church van he’d driven into the quarry. “Sometimes you meet the best people in a crisis situation. Me and Jacqui gathered up as many as we could from the church, but at some point, we got separated from the convoy. Found Jim just across the town line, stumbling around in a daze. Thought he was one of those things, at first.”
Shane sat back against a log and toyed with a blade of grass. “After Atlanta was bombed last night, I was just glad I remembered this place. Gathered up as many of us as possible and got our asses off the interstate.”
Carol glanced up at Merle where he prowled the roof of the RV. He’d declined lunch, preferring to keep watch rather than eat. She knew it was because he wanted to observe the group. He was much like Daryl in that respect, uncanny in his ability to read people. At least when it suited him.
“Well, we’re safe here for the time being,” Carol assured them. “I’m sure Merle has shown you the precautions we’ve taken.”
Shane nodded. “Yes, ma’am … they’re somewhat crude, but more than capable of letting us know if something gets too close.”
Daryl tensed beside Carol as he caught sight of Hector Morales coming up the path to finally join his wife. He’d briefly told her of the man’s last encounter with Rick, of how Morales had lost his family and become one of Negan’s saviors. Daryl had ended him without batting an eye.
Hector gratefully took the bowl of stew from Miranda, assuring her he’d finally been able to get the tent up. She whispered fervently into his ear and the spoon stalled before his lips, his gaze coming to rest on Sophia.
He looked to Carol, taking note of the gun on her hip and the knife on her belt. “You armed your daughter?” he asked, clearly surprised. “Do you think it’s safe to give weapons to children so young?”
Daryl leaned forward, forearms resting on his knees as his eyes narrowed dangerously. “She knows how t’ be responsible an’ she trains every day. I’d rather see her armed with somethin’ t’ protect herself than sendin’ her out there t’ be walker chow.”
Shane and Lori shared a loaded look before she decided to add her two cents. “I’m sure he’s just concerned about how safe his children will be playing with Sophia.”
Carol opened her mouth to defend her daughter, but Daryl beat her to it, rising to his feet to stare her down. “He’d be safer with her than if he ran around here by himself. What if a walker made its way up th’ mountain an’ came up on ‘em while they’re playin’? Y’ think him screamin’ for his mama is gonna make it go away? Hell no!” He tapped a finger to his temple. “Shot t’ th’ head’s th’ only thing’s gonna take it down, an’ I’ma make sure my daughter knows how to defend herself.”
“You really think it’ll come to that?” Shane asked in all seriousness. “The military is supposed to be mobilizing to get the infected quarantined. It’s why they’re urging everyone to go to the refugee centers.”
“Pfft.” Daryl hefted his crossbow over his shoulder and scoffed. “Waitin’ on the military t’ come save your ass is like believin’ it’s gonna snow in Georgia in July. All they did when they bombed Atlanta last night was make more walkers.” He pressed a kiss to Carol’s brow before beckoning to Sophia. “C’mon, baby girl, let’s go walk th’ perimeter.”
Carol ignored Merle’s snickering and turned her attention to Lori. “If it would make you feel any better, you’re welcome to come down to the lake later this afternoon to watch them train. We wouldn’t have armed our child if she weren’t capable.” She smiled sadly. “If this really is the end of the world, we’d all do well to learn whatever we can in order to survive.”
*.*.*
Carol hid a smug smirk as Lori sat down beside her on a sun-bleached rock on the edge of the lake. The brunette had walked down to watch Merle and Daryl work with Sophia. Even she had been impressed with the makeshift obstacle course the brothers had rigged to help her daughter become more skilled. Sophia was quick on her feet, agile, and she didn’t have any problem taking instruction from her new family.
“Your girl … she’s really something,” Lori stated, a note of awe in her voice as she reached to take a sodden t-shirt from Carol to wring it out. “Do you mind me asking how old she is?”
Carol smiled and continued scrubbing at a particularly tough stain on Daryl’s cargoes. “She’s twelve. Her birthday is just after Christmas.”
“Carl just made twelve last month,” she said absently, concentrating on her task. “She seems so much more mature, but then, girls usually mature faster than boys.”
“Her father wasn’t a good man,” Carol murmured, the memory of Ed setting her teeth on edge. “I made sure he never laid a hand on her, but I couldn’t protect her from everything. She heard more than I would have liked, and it affected her.”
Lori glanced over her shoulder at Daryl in confusion. “I thought -“
“Daryl’s her stepfather,” Carol clarified. “He was my best friend, and after Ed died in a car accident, he helped me heal.” Which was the truth. She never would have made it that first winter on the road without his grudging friendship.
“They seem really close.”
“They’re getting there,” Carol said fondly. It still amazed her that Sophia had quickly embraced her new relationship with Daryl. “They bring out the best in each other.” She set her washboard aside and arched a brow at Lori. “Now, would you like to tell me what’s really on your mind?”
“Am I that transparent?” she asked, huffing a little laugh.
“Just a little.”
Lori set the last of the wet clothes in the basket and squinted against the bright sunlight, weighing her words. “I was just wondering why your husband doesn’t think the military will be able to find a solution to this pandemic. The Black Plague, Yellow Fever, Ebola, even the flu epidemic of the early twentieth century … a cure was always found. Why is this so different?”
Had her friend really been so naive in the beginning, Carol thought with an inward groan. “Because during those bouts of sickness and disease, the dead stayed dead, Lori. They certainly didn’t rise from their slab in the morgue to eat the living and infect more.”
“You say that like you don’t think it will get better,” the brunette accused.
Carol shook her head. “No, I just think it will get worse before it gets better. I trust Daryl, and believe me, trusting someone after what I went through with Ed was next to impossible. I would follow him to hell and back a hundred times over.”
“Shane thinks we should head for Fort Benning.”
“I can respect that,” Carol nodded, “but who’s to say it isn’t overrun by the time you get there? If you even make it there?”
“Carol -“
“All it would take is for one person to turn and infect everyone within those walls,” Carol warned. She didn’t want to frighten her friend, but if a healthy dose of fear was what it would take to keep her safe, so be it. “Do you really want to take that chance with your life? With Carl’s?”
Lori crossed her arms protectively over her chest, fighting off a sudden chill. “He’s just trying to keep us safe. I owe him so much already.”
Carol reached out and rested a hand on her friend’s shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I can’t even begin to imagine how much you’re dealing with right now, but I will tell you this … you’re safe here with us. You have options, Lori. Talk to Shane about staying … at least for a while. The last thing you want is to be stuck out on the road again.”
Lori brushed a tear from the corner of her eye and tried to smile. “Why are you being so nice to me? You don’t even know me.”
Carol rose from her seat and picked up the laundry basket, settling it on her hip. “I’d like to, very much. I think we could become great friends.” She patted her shoulder gently. “Think about it.”
Notes:
A/n: Yay! I’m back. So sorry for the delay. I’ve been taxi-ing people around so much, I’ve logged more miles than an Uber driver. However, I did take advantage of Google Docs on my phone and pounded out this craptastic chapter for y’all. Yeahhh, I’m not happy with it at all, but it helps move the story forward. Thanks to all of you who are still reading my fics. *love and hugs*
Chapter 12
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Regular lil’ spitfire, ain’t y’, Peach?” Merle chuckled, tossing a water bottle to Sophia. He wiped the sweat from his brow and looked down to where the girl was sitting on his brother’s chest. “A’right, girl, let ‘im up.”
Sophia beamed up at her uncle and did as she was told, then extended her hand to help Daryl to his feet. She was proud of her accomplishments, happier even with Merle’s praise, but it was Daryl’s approval she sought.
The brothers had been teaching her how to bring a walker down to her level in order to stab it in the head. It had just been Daryl’s bad luck that it had been his turn to play the walker. At Merle’s urging, she’d dropped down and flat rolled into Daryl’s legs, knocking him to the ground. Regaining her feet, she’d hurried to ‘stab’ him. It hadn’t been her fault Merle had bumped into her, sending her down to flop butt first in the center of Daryl’s chest.
“You ok, Dad? I didn’t hurt you, did I?” she asked, rising to her feet to offer him a hand up.
Daryl shot his brother a dark glare and hoisted the girl over his shoulder, bearing her towards the lake. “Gonna take more than your scrawny ass t’ hurt me, princess!” he chuckled.
Sophia shrieked, her giggles carrying to her mother where Carol sat with some of the other women near the shore of the quarry lake. Daryl climbed the path, taking them higher up the hill. He let her climb him like a spider monkey until she rested on his back, arms clinging to his neck and her long gangly legs cinched tight about his waist.
“Think it’s time t’ cool off that temper o’ yours, don’t y’ think?” he teased her, stepping close to the drop so she could see the water below.
“Dad, no! It’s too high!” she cried. He knew she wasn’t really scared, not his little daredevil. Her voice was tinged with excitement rather than fear.
“What if y’ was bein’ chased by walkers? You’d jump t’ save yourself, right?” he asked seriously.
“Hell yeah, I would. I’m a survivor now,” she stated adamantly.
Without another word, he tightened his grip on her legs and leapt off the ledge with a whoop, Sophia’s screech echoing in his ears. The cool water enveloped him, bringing them nearly to the sandy bottom before he kicked them back to the surface.
The girl let out a series of giggles as her head broke the surface. She swam around him so she could see his grin, treading water. “That was awesome, Dad.”
Daryl couldn’t help but smile. It was hard to reconcile the girl she’d been with the confident young preteen she was now. Before, she’d been a meek little thing, hiding behind her mother, afraid of the world and the looming threat of her father. Now, she was quick to smile and unafraid to leap into whatever new challenge he and Merle tossed her way. He couldn’t argue with her. She was well on her way to becoming a survivor.
He splashed her, earning another happy laugh from her. He hoped she would always be as carefree as she was now, despite the dangers they’d soon face. “Y’ did great today, Soph. Y’ deserve t’ have a little fun.”
Daryl swam away from her as she sent a splash his way. It soon became a little water war. He eased up, urging her to swim back with him towards shore.
“Looks like y’ boyfriend wants t’ come out here an’ join y’,” he said, nodding towards shore where it looked like Lori had a death grip on Carl’s shoulder.
Sophia rolled her eyes. “Ew, Dad,” she whined. “Boys are gross. Besides, he’s a little immature.” She stood up a bit shakily when her feet finally brushed the sandy bottom. “Kinda feel sorry for him, though.”
“Yeah? Why’s that?” he asked, his tone gentle. The more time he spent with her, the more he enjoyed listening to her insight. Sophia was sweet, caring and compassionate like her mother, but she exuded a strong will which had helped her survive the last several years under Ed’s cruel thumb.
Sophia flopped down in the water, the cool waves she made lapping against her as she pulled her knees close to her chest, her hazel eyes gazing into the distance. “He seems to really want to join in with us, y’know? Couldn’t you tell?” she shrugged, glancing over at him as Daryl sat down beside her. “His mom, though …”
Daryl arched a brow at her. “She’s scared, Soph.” It was all he could tell her without giving too much away. Hell, even he was a bit surprised at the change in Lori Grimes. She hadn’t let the boy out of her sight for a second, whereas before she’d constantly pawned him off on whoever would agree to watch him. He knew that was one of the reasons he’d gotten himself in trouble on a daily basis.
Her voice dropped in register so none of the others nearby would overhear. “I’m glad I have you and Merle. I already feel stronger, less afraid. Maybe Mom won’t have to worry so much about me now.” Sophia smiled and nudged him with her shoulder. “Who knows … the other parents might let you teach the kids a few things, too. Miracles happen.”
Daryl snorted and splashed a handful of water in her direction. “Sassy lil’ shit,” he chuckled. “Y’ need t’ concentrate on what we’re tryin’ t’ teach y’. Stick close t’ us, too. Don’t want y’ runnin’ off an’ gettin’ your ass in trouble.”
She nodded and held out her pinky to him. “I promise, Dad.”
“I’m not tellin’ y’ not t’ make friends. Jus’ don’t let ‘em talk y’ into doin’ somethin’ stupid.” He sighed, trying to make her understand how important her safety was to him.
“Sophia!”
The girl glanced over towards her mother where Carol stood holding a towel out to her on the shore. She groaned, wishing she could stay with Daryl a little longer.
Daryl helped her to her feet, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder. “Go on, baby girl. Y’ mama prob’ly needs help gettin’ dinner ready. Gonna be dark in a few hours.”
Sophia reached Carol first. “Did you see us jump, Mom? It was better than the zipline at the water park,” she gushed as her mother tackled her dripping hair.
Carol shook her head at them both, her gaze narrowed on her husband. “I did see. The two of you are going to give me wrinkles.” She wrapped the towel around Sophia’s shoulders and gave her a gentle nudge. “Head on back to the RV with Lori and Carl and get changed. I’ll be up in a minute.”
Daryl gave her a side-eyed look, trying to gauge her mood, but she was a lot better at hiding her emotions now than she had been before. Before Rick had banished her from the prison, before Terminus, before she’d run from Alexandria and locked herself away in that creeptastic house. He reached out and took her hand, pulling her closer to him as his thumb brushed over the ring nestled on her finger.
“Y’ mad at me? Didn’t mean t’ scare y’,” he whispered softly. “Jus’ thought it’d be fun for her, s’all.”
Carol twined her fingers with his and looped her free arm around his neck, pressing herself flush with his body. She couldn’t care less that her clothes were getting damp from his. “Of course not. I know you’d never do anything to hurt her.” Her fingers idly toyed with the short hair along his nape, making heat rise in his cheeks. “You’re making wonderful progress with her, but it makes my chest ache to watch you with her. I see how much you love her, how much she means to you, and I just want to drive that pickaxe into Ed’s skull all over again for never seeing how precious she is, for not knowing how to be a decent human being, much less a father to her.”
Daryl let his free hand come to rest on her hip and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Ain’t never did no one any good wishin’ an’ wantin’ t’ remake th’ past. This is some shit right outta th’ Twilight Zone that we’re gettin’ a second chance. Don’t waste a second thinkin’ about that piece o’ shit y’ was married to before.” He snorted. “I sure ain’t gonna bother thinkin’ ‘bout my damn daddy. We need t’ focus on our group instead.”
Carol’s nose scrunched up as she smiled. “And dry clothes. C’mon, there’s some on the line.”
He followed her towards the tree line, ignoring the curious stares from the Harrison sisters where they sat with Jacqui and Miranda washing their unmentionables while a few of the men collected water in containers to haul back to camp for boiling. His brows shot up when he caught sight of Merle laughing at something T-Dog had said as the two of them chopped firewood. If Glenn’s red face was any indication, he was probably the butt of their jokes. Yup, Twilight Zone for damn sure.
“I’m gonna have t’ make a run soon,” he told her, making certain his voice wouldn’t carry.
The smile slipped from her face as she yanked a dry towel from the line and thrust it at him. “Don’t you think it’s a might soon to be running off to Atlanta? We waited at least a week last time and Glenn went by himself. The place was crawling with walkers and he barely made it back.”
Daryl briskly rubbed the towel over his dripping hair and then draped it around his neck, a smirk curling one corner of his mouth. “S’why I ain’t goin’ t’ Atlanta. Think you was th’ only one plannin’ for this shit when y’ woke up with y’ memories?”
Carol grinned sheepishly, her cheeks tinged a lovely rose. “Apparently not.”
“Rockdale ain’t far from here. Me and Merle can get there an’ back inside a day even if th’ roads are jammed. Lived there for a while, so we know th’ area pretty well. Small town, good huntin’, small businesses which cater t’ th’ outdoorsy types.”
Rednecks, he left unsaid. “It sounds perfect … if those outdoorsy types didn’t clean everything out before they headed for the hills.”
He reached behind her and grabbed some of his clothes off the line. “Have a little faith, woman. Somethin’ tells me we got luck on our side.”
Carol’s lips pressed into a thin line of disapproval. “Don’t get cocky, Dixon. Cocky gets you killed.” She sighed. “Just stay safe.”
“Always am,” he assured her.
She pulled the rest of her family’s laundry from the line and folded it into the basket. “And what will you do if you can’t find what you’re looking for in Rockdale?”
His eyes squinted against the sun as he looked out over the lake. “Then somethin’ tells me whatever this is … it’ll lead us in the right direction.”
Carol watched him head off towards the hidden path he’d shown her last night where he could get cleaned up, a worried furrow marring her brow. “That’s what im afraid of.”
*.*.*
Merle sent T-Dog and Glenn back to camp with the last of the firewood and hurriedly washed up in the cool water of the lake as he waited for Daryl to appear. He’d seen the boy vanish up the trail with clean clothes after that stunt he’d pulled with Sophia, but he couldn’t imagine where he’d gotten off to. Knowing his brother and his penchant for privacy, he’d no doubt found some hidden hidey hole to bathe in peace.
He couldn’t blame the boy. Merle, himself, carried a matching set of scars to those marking Daryl’s body … he just didn’t have two shits to give if someone saw them or not. The old bastard was dead, and Merle hoped Satan had made Jackson Dixon his own personal bitch for the hell he’d visited upon his sons.
Merle was yanked from his reverie as Daryl appeared on the path before him, hair wet and a few water droplets sliding freely down his neck on their way to dampen the collar of his sleeveless t-shirt. “Where y’ been, lil’ brother? Coulda used a hand splittin’ wood earlier, but y’ was too busy bein’ a fam’ly man, I s’pose.”
Daryl snorted. “Y’ had plenty of help, Merle, an’ you ain’t never been scared of a little hard work.” He shook his head and hung his clothes over the line, having washed them out when he’d bathed to save Carol from having to do it. “So, what y’ think of th’ new people?”
Merle sucked his teeth and shoved his hands into his pockets, staring off at the sun as it dipped towards the horizon. “They’re a’right, I guess. Th’ black fella looked at me like I was gonna take th’ axe t’ him instead o’ th’ wood, but he loosened up after a while, an’ th’ Chinese kid is kinda twitchy.”
Daryl forced his expression to remain neutral, remembering how much his brother had hated T-Dog before. Perhaps without the events which had led to Merle losing his hand, the two men might be able to develop a friendship.
“He’s Korean,” Daryl corrected him.
“Whatever! He’s still a twitchy little fucker.”
Daryl shook his head, unable to suppress the smile he felt spread over his lips. He supposed his brother’s description of Glenn was better than it could’ve been. “C’mon, Carol an’ Sophia are stuck up there entertainin’ th’ group by themselves.”
He frowned when Merle leaned in and gave a sniff.
“Th’ fuck y’ doin’, Merle?” he asked, giving his brother a shove.
A devilish smirk stole over the eldest Dixon’s face. “Damn, Darylena, don’t you smell like a fresh Georgia peach?”
“Man, what th’ fuck’s wrong with you? I swear our mama dropped y’ on your head a few times,” Daryl scoffed, his lip curling in disgust.
Merle chortled gleefully, enjoying the freedom to tease his brother. “I think you’re jus’ wantin’ t’ get back t’ Carol so y’ can get started on the weddin’ night.”
Daryl paled and came to an abrupt halt on the path, spearing Merle with a wide-eyed stare. “What’re y’ talkin’ about?”
Merle’s grin widened as he slung an arm around Daryl’s shoulders. “Th’ sun’s been glintin’ off Carol’s ring all damn day. Everyone in camp believes she’s yer wife. So, I’d be willin’ t’ bet she’s jus’ waitin’ for y’ t’ get yer ass back t’ camp t’ give her some Grade A Dixon lovin’.”
Whatever blood had drained from his face came rushing back so quickly, it made him lightheaded. Daryl knew if he glanced in a mirror, it would look as if he’d been in the sun too long. Since he and Carol had been reunited, they hadn’t made it a secret how much they wanted each other. They were each bruised and battered souls striving to further a relationship neither had thought possible. Baby steps. Yet, would she really be expecting more tonight just because he’d put his ring on her finger? We’re they ready for that?
Merle stopped laughing, dropping his arm and gripping his brother’s upper arms to give him a little shake. “Goddamnit, boy, breathe,” he hissed, getting right up in Daryl’s face. “I ain’t finished readin’ that diary o’ hers, but I’m guessin’ there ain’t no flowery prose describin’ y’all’s first time together.”
Daryl shook his head and averted his troubled gaze. It was still hard to talk to ‘this’ Merle when there were so many memories of the ‘real’ Merle floating around in his head. “Weren’t ever with her like that. Was afraid t’ let myself get too close t’ her knowing it’d kill me if somethin’ happened t’ her. I was fuckin’ stupid because when she died, it destroyed me.”
“No … it was worse because then y’ had t’ deal with your regrets. Hell, gotta few o’ them myself.”
Daryl fiddled with the strap of his crossbow where it rested against his chest. “Yeah, well, I ain’t gonna have ‘em this time. She knows where I stand an’ how I feel. Jus’ gonna have t’ man up an’ show her.”
Merle steered his brother back towards the lake and sat him down on a large flat rock. “I know what th’ old bastard put y’ through. He did the same shit t’ me with that girl’s older sister. He played us both.”
“Th’ fuck?!” Daryl barked indignantly. “Y’ couldn’t’ve warned me?”
“How could I when I was in boot camp an’ y’ were stuck here? ‘Sides, I was hopin’ he would leave y’ alone.”
Daryl snorted. Merle leaving had only made things worse for him. “Well, he didn’t.”
Merle sat beside him and rested his forearms against his thighs, breathing out a frustrated sigh. “Y’ cain’t let that shit drag y’ down. For me, all it did was show me I had th’ confidence t’ go out there an’ have jus’ about any woman I wanted.”
Daryl snorted. “Too bad y’ wasn’t smart enough t’ wear a rubber. How many times did I had t’ drag y’ off t’ th’ free clinic t’ get treated for th’ clap?”
Merle shot him a nasty look and shook his head. “That ain’t th’ point I’m tryin’ t’ make, lil’ brother. All I mean is … you’re th’ sweet one. Your heart has t’ be engaged for sex t’ mean somethin’ t’ y’. Y’ gotta be able t’ trust yer partner. Jus’ who y’ are.”
Daryl felt like he needed a winch to drag his mouth closed. He’d expected laughter and ridicule from his brother, not calm acceptance and advice.
“From what I read, Carol needs a gentle touch,” Merle continued. “Jus’ do what feels right. The two o’ y’ will be able t’ figure it out. An’ if not, I can always give y’ a few pointers.”
“Y’ nasty fucker,” Daryl chuckled. “I don’t wanna hear about all the weird shit y’ do t’ your women. I already got enough shit goin’ on in my damn head t’ give me nightmares.”
“Don’t say I didn’t offer.”
*.*.*
Carol let her gaze wander over the camp, her lips pressed together in a tight line of displeasure. She’d somehow forgotten how ill-prepared the group had been when they’d first found the quarry. The survivors had little food to offer the collective, a few cans squirreled away, crackers, granola bars, a jar of peanut butter and very little water of which to speak. It made her doubly grateful that she and Daryl both had thought to stock up on supplies before making their way up the mountain.
It was the lack of shelter which worried her now. Dale had offered the one small pup tent he kept in the Winnebago to the Harrison sisters, but Amy had made a fuss once it had been set up, claiming it wasn’t big enough for one, much less the two of them. Instead, Dale told them they were welcome to share the lone bedroom in his RV. Jackie and T-Dog would be using the dining table which folded out into a bed and Shane and Glenn would be claiming the captain’s chairs in the front to switch out with Dale on watch.
The Morales family had gathered what blankets and sleeping bags they’d had stowed in their vehicle, content to camp out under the awning of the Winnebago until some suitable tents could be found, and Jim had called dibs on the abandoned pup tent.
Which left Lori and Carl bunking on the dining pull out bed in the Dixon RV … and a grinning Merle.
“Y’ know, lil’ brother ain’t gonna like th’ new sleepin’ arrangements none,” he chuckled close to her ear as his hand landed heavily on Carol’s shoulder.
Carol shrugged him off and turned to face him, watching as the cherry on his cigarette illuminated his swarthy features. “It’s not like I had much of a choice, Merle. We have room for them, and my conscience wouldn’t allow me to make them sleep out here under the picnic table. It will be fine. Daryl knows we have to make allowances.”
“Don’t mean he’s gonna like it.”
She sighed and shook her head. “We’ve slept in closer quarters than these before.”
“Yeah, I get that from what I read in that diary o’ yers … but y’all ain’t never had ever’body sleepin’ on top o’ y’ on yer weddin’ night.” He laughed outright when her mouth fell open and her eyes grew wide.
“Oh, god! I didn’t … we aren’t … oh, god!”
“Well, that’s one way o’ puttin’ it, Mouse.” Merle stubbed out his cigarette and tipped her chin up. “I’m gonna head up top for watch. When lil’ brother gets back from walkin’ th’ perimeter, tell ‘im t’ get some sleep. I’ll relieve ‘im in four or five hours.”
Carol groaned and watched him disappear around the back of the RV to use the external ladder. With everything that had happened that day, she couldn’t really blame herself for having forgotten. Now, however, she could feel the nerves writhe in her belly like live eels.
She headed inside and immediately moved right to where Sophia’s bunk was situated in the cubby over the cockpit as she liked to call it. The girl yawned quietly and scooted towards the edge to kiss her mother.
“Heading to bed, Mom?”
Carol smiled and brushed a few strands of gold away from her daughter’s brow. “Yeah, baby … just wanted to say goodnight.”
Sophia’s hazel eyes drooped heavily. “We going on our run in the morning? We missed it today.”
“I promise, so try to get some sleep, ok?”
“Ok … love you, Mom.”
Carol hugged her tightly before tucking the blanket in around Sophia. “I love you, too, baby. Sleep well.”
She couldn’t help but smile at Lori as she stopped next to their bed. Carl was practically spread-eagle on the narrow bunk and snoring quite loudly for such a small pre-teen. “If you need anything during the night, just let me know, ok?” she smiled, giving the woman’s hand a squeeze.
“I don’t know how to thank you for taking us in, Carol,” Lori whispered, not wanting their voices to wake her sleeping child.
Carol waved her hand dismissively. “The world was already a dangerous place before the dead started rising up to eat the living. I have a feeling it’s only going to get worse now. I’m glad we have each other.”
“You really don’t think it’s going to get better,” Lori stated, numb because she really didn’t want to believe it.
Carol shook her head. “No, I don’t. But right now, we’re safe and we’re together. We will find a way to survive this.”
Notes:
A/n: Wow, I can’t believe how long it’s been since I was able to post anything on this story. Between the holidays (which I absolutely loathe), my health and my grandchildren, I haven’t touched my laptop since before Thanksgiving. I’m really not happy with this chapter. It’s filler mostly, but it’s moving in the right direction where things are going to start happening. If y’all are still reading, thank you with all my heart.
Chapter 13
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
XIII
Daryl waved to Dale atop the Winnebago before making his way beneath the awning to slip into the RV. He was relieved to see his brother sprawled out on the sofa he’d claimed as his bed, soft snores emitting from his open mouth. Merle hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep since the first reports of the virus had spread over the news. At least now that they had help to keep watch, his brother felt he could try to rest a bit.
He moved to the loft bunk and grabbed Sophia’s arm where it hung over the edge, gently tucking her hand close to her pillow, a smile on his lips. She didn’t move, tuckered out from the events of the day to the point where a bomb could have gone off and she would have slept right through it.
Daryl knew it was late – much later than he’d planned to retire – but he’d wanted to do one more sweep of the camp and assure himself the perimeter was as safe as possible. Anything trying to breach it would make enough noise to alert whoever was on watch. Now, he just wanted to get to Carol. He’d barely exchanged more than a few words with her at dinner through no fault of his own. The women had flocked around his wife like she was a shiny new toy, all eager to get to know the woman who’d opened her heart – and her mobile pantry – to the group who were little better than strangers.
He pulled the blanket up higher on Sophia’s shoulder and turned to make his way to the bedroom he shared with Carol at the rear of the RV, his step faltering as he noticed a shock of dark hair peeking above the blanket on the bed where the dinette table usually rested. Lori and Carl were tucked together so tightly, they looked almost like one person. Daryl sighed. Well, that’s one way t’ keep Olive Oyl away from any mistakes she might wanna make with Shane.
He wasn’t exactly happy to be sharing his ‘home’ with the woman and her kid – no privacy, for fuck’s sake – but he understood why Carol had invited them to stay. With the lack of tents and the Winnebago already packed to the gills, it was really the only option.
Daryl crept to the door and eased it open, just in case Carol was sleeping. Considering the late hour, he was surprised to find the lamp burning and her sitting cross-legged in the center of the bed. She had an open notebook balanced on her lap, a map and several other papers scattered on the bed around her. She held up a finger with her left hand, signaling him to silence for just a moment more.
He took the time - while waiting for her to finish – to prop his crossbow in the corner by the door and shed his boots. By the time he took a seat on the bed next to her, she’d closed the notebook.
“Y’ keepin’ another journal?” he asked, fingering the little book.
Carol shrugged. “Yeah … I thought, one day, it might be worth it to compare it with what really happened. I want to see what events we’re able to change and those which will inevitably stay the same.” Her eyes cast downward, her fingers fidgeting with a fraying thread on the quilt. “It’s stupid, I know, but I wanted to give both journals to Sophia when she’s older. I want her to know the truth.”
“Got us a long damn road ahead o’ us.” The corner of his mouth turned up into a half moon grin. “An’ I don’t think it’s stupid at all. She should know our story.” Most of the tension he’d seen in her shoulders seemed to drain away. He waved a hand towards the rest of the papers and paraphernalia spread over the duvet around her. “What’s all this other stuff?”
She pursed her lips and cocked her head to the side, studying him. “Just some … things.”
Daryl snorted. “Yeah, I kinda figured that out for m’self. What kinda things?” he asked, cerulean eyes narrowing as she dropped her gaze guiltily. What could she have possibly done t’ warrant that look? “C’mon, woman … spill. What’s goin’ on in that pretty head o’ yours? An’ don’t even think ‘bout tellin’ me it’s nothin’.”
Carol chewed on the end of her pen before she huffed out an irritated breath. “Do we have to talk about it tonight? I know you’re tired after the day you had with Merle and Sophia training. And didn’t you say you wanted to go on a run – which I think should be made to Atlanta instead of Rockdale – tomorrow? You really need to rest … I mean … we can talk about it tomorrow, right?”
Daryl’s brows shot up at her quickfire ramblings. He reached out, his warm hands curling over her shoulders. He sighed, deciding to address the least important thing she’d said. “Why Atlanta? That place is crawlin’ with walkers.”
“It’s closer, and I think your chances of finding what we need are better. Daryl, I’m not worried – ok, maybe a little worried – about your ability to avoid walkers.” She settled into the crook of his arm when he pulled her into his side. “Something … instinct perhaps … it’s telling me you should go to Atlanta.”
He nodded before using his free hand to sift through what appeared to be computer printouts. “Ok, I guess I’m goin’ t’ Atlanta. What about the rest of this stuff?”
Carol shot him a look of irritation. “You’re not going to let this go tonight, are you?”
“Nope.” He popped his lips on the ‘p’ and smiled to lessen the sting of his refusal.
She pulled away enough to reach for a set of printouts with a picture of a fancy house and grounds surrounded by a brick wall and a sign hanging over a wrought iron gate which read Warm Springs. “I don’t want to spend the winter running from house to house or to storage units or warehouses … Rick constantly pushing us to the breaking point while he steadily loses his sanity again.” She watched him closely as he read about the property, waiting for him to reject the idea. “I was trying to plan ahead … so we have a safe place to go once the farm falls."
Daryl looked up at her with clear surprise. “How’d y’ even find this place?” He traced his finger along the map she showed him next. “Hell, we were only twenty miles north of it … several times, at least.”
Carol nodded. “T was in charge of the maps last time, just trying to navigate us around the herds. We just never got a chance to venture further south because we were constantly getting cut off. We probably would have found it eventually if we hadn’t ended up at the prison.” She took the printouts from him and showed him some of the amenities. “Warm Springs is the location of FDR’s presidential library. He felt the springs could help his polio. It was open to the public, so therefore had some live-in permanent staff there to see to the day to day operations.”
“So, there’s a good chance we might find some supplies there,” he murmured more to himself than to his wife. “There a town nearby? Somethin’ close where we can stock up on shit we need?”
She grimaced as she leaned back into him. “Sophia tried to show me how to access google to get satellite imaging, but I couldn’t figure it out, nor could I play around with spying on towns without her getting suspicious.”
Daryl pulled her closer and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Don’t matter. We’ll figure it out like we always do, right?”
“I don’t want you to think I’m trying to lead this group, Daryl. You know that’s not who I am. I’m just trying to do the best I can to help us all.”
He shot her a knowing smirk as he propped a pillow against the headboard and leaned back to get comfortable. “I could see you being our leader,” he chuckled. “Make everyone do their own laundry and stab anyone who looks suspicious.”
Carol snorted and collected up her research to put it away. “Daryl, I’m being serious.”
“So am I.” He knew her better than anyone, knew what she was capable of when it came to protecting those she loved. Daryl watched her put her things away in a drawer in the nightstand on her side of the bed. “This Warm Springs place seems like what we might need, but I’m curious … we still goin’ t’ the prison eventually?”
“I suppose we will have to, don’t you think?” she asked with a tilt to her head which never failed to make him smile. “There are so many we found there … Tyreese, Sasha, Bob, Zach, just to name a few. And we have to rescue Axel, Oscar and Tiny. I don’t want to just leave them in that horrible cafeteria. We need to be there for them.” Dealing straightaway with Tomas and Andrew was left unspoken. They knew what needed to be done.
Daryl stifled a yawn as she crawled onto the bed and straddled his lap. All hint of exhaustion fled his body as the blood in his head quickly rushed south and it was hard to think of anything but soft skin and sparkling sky blue eyes shining with love and mischief. “Um … we’ll have t’ make sure we um … fortify th’ fences better, and ah …”
Carol pulled up the hem of his t-shirt and felt the muscles of his stomach contract beneath her touch. “We’ll make it work,” she murmured, leaning in to kiss him softly. “We won’t be defenseless this time. Merle would never stand for it.”
He turned his face into her hand as she cradled his cheek, placing a lingering kiss to her palm. His hands went to her hips to hold her in place, denying her the friction she sought, his gaze hesitant as he met her own laughing eyes.
It didn’t deter her, however. She cocked her head to the side and pursed her lips, biting back a chuckle. “Pretty romantic,” she murmured, gesturing to the low lighting of the lone lamp on the nightstand. “What say you, my husband … screw around?”
Daryl snorted, his lips curling into a half moon grin as he pulled her closer for a kiss. He remembered the cool spring night atop an overturned prison bus when she’d posed the same question. Only he’d been too afraid to take a chance had it been just more of her teasing.
“Hell yeah, I want to … but y’ think it’s a good idea with Olive Oyl sleepin’ in th’ next room? Or th’ kids?”
Carol groaned, her shoulders drooping dejectedly. “Merle,” she added.
He pressed his brow to hers as she relaxed into his embrace. “Wasn’t my idea t’ invite her an’ th’ kid in here.” He covered her lips with a finger as she moved to protest, cutting her off. “I understand why y’ did, though. Saw th’ sleepin’ arrangements an’ Shane filled me in on how cramped th’ Winnebago is. Only logical thing y’ coulda done since we tryin’ t’ build trust with th’ group.”
“You’re not angry?” She asked, burrowing her head in the crook of his shoulder.
Daryl sighed tiredly and rolled over with her, keeping her tucked close to his body. “Nah, I ain’t mad. Sweetheart, you’re my wife … finally.”
Carol swatted him on the arm, and he chuckled. “Yeah, it only took me DYING for you to find your words, Dixon.”
“All I’m saying is we’ve waited this long t’ be together.” He arched a brow and smirked down at her. “We’ll have our chance. I can promise y’ that.”
She rolled over and turned off the lamp before pulling the duvet up to cover them. Carol smiled when Daryl’s arm went around her waist, fitting himself to her curves. “I love you, Daryl.”
He kissed the nape of her neck, smiling against her soft skin and breathing her in. “Love y’, too.” She was nearly asleep when she heard his next words whispered hotly in her ear. “An’ don’t think y’ distracted me from our earlier conversation, woman. We will be talkin’ ‘bout it soon.”
Carol bit her lip to stifle a laugh. “Yes, dear.”
*.*.*
Daryl yawned and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, trying to relieve the stinging caused by lack of sleep. Not that he minded staying up with his wife. After what they’d experienced, every moment with her was a precious gift. He shook his shaggy head, clearing the cobwebs from his mind. He needed to be sharp today if he was heading into Atlanta on a much-needed run. He perked up a bit when the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted over to him on the gentle breeze.
Merle grinned up at him as Daryl flopped down into his camp chair. “Rough night, baby brother? Was mighty quiet on yer end o’ th’ RV, so -”
“Goddamnit, Merle!” Daryl hissed. “Show some respect.” He nodded to Lori where she sat nursing a steaming cup of 100% Columbian.
The eldest Dixon’s grin never faded. “C’mon, now, Darylena. I’m sure th’ lady recognizes harmless teasin’ between brothers when she hears it.”
Lori lifted her gaze to them both, smiling slightly, though it couldn’t mask the pain in her dark eyes. “My husband was a cop, Shane’s partner on the force. When they’d get a few beers in them on the weekend grilling steaks … well, let’s just say I've heard worse.”
Daryl inwardly flinched as she spoke of Rick. He could see the grief written clearly on her face, something which had been missing last time. How many other changes would they face this time around? Would Rick even show up on that lonely stretch of interstate leading into Atlanta? Was the timeline off? It was enough to drive him mad.
“How long’s Carol an’ Soph been gone?” He needed to see his girls, needed to see they were ok. Perhaps then, the frantic beating of his heart would calm.
Merle huffed a laugh. “Might take ‘em longer’n usual to round the quarry. They had quite th’ followin’ this mornin’.”
“What?” Daryl asked as Merle handed him the field glasses.
“Besides her an’ Soph … Amy, Andrea, an’ Carl decided t’ tag along.”
Daryl held the small set of binoculars to his face and tracked their progress around the top edge of the quarry. “Soph’s out in th’ lead. Looks like Carl’s tryin’ t’ keep up,” he snorted.
Merle shook his head and gave the spit a turn where he had several rabbits roasting over the fire. “Yeah, well he ain’t as tall an’ gangly as our girl. He’ll hit a growth spurt an’ catch up t’ her sooner or later.”
Lori eyed him curiously. “You talk as if you believe we’ll be joining your little group.”
“An’ why wouldn’t y’?” he asked in a low, calculating tone, careful not to give away even the tiniest hint of anything Carol had written in her journal. “There’s safety in numbers, an’ if you’ve seen us trainin’ the peach out there at th’ lake, y’ know we’re good in a fight.” He poured himself another cup of coffee and gave his words time to sink in.
She stared down into her own cup before taking a deep fortifying breath. “I really don’t know what Shane’s plans are. He saved me and Carl, got us away from the city. If he decides to leave … well, I can’t just abandon him after all he’s done for us.”
Daryl nodded. “Y’ welcome … all o’ y’all are welcome t’ stick with us. Right now, things out there are crazy, an’ it’s only gonna get worse. I don’t wanna see nothin’ happen t’ you an’ your boy.” He decided it was best to change the subject. Lori wasn’t looking all that great and he was afraid a stiff breeze would blow her over. “So, how’d Carol convince y’ t’ let Carl go out with ‘em?”
A genuine smile twitched at her lips. “How could I say no when everyone was telling me to say yes? He really could use the exercise, and he’s trying really hard to get your daughter to like him.” The small smile morphed into a full-on grin as Daryl’s eyes narrowed. “She’s unlike any of his other friends. I think he’s a little in awe of her.”
“Yeah, she’s somethin’ a’right,” he said, leaning over to give a quick stir to the pot of grits Merle had made there at the edge of the fire pit. “Carol let her watch th’ news when th’ reports started comin’ in. She became obsessed with YouTube, searchin’ for everythin’ she could find, but I’m afraid it’s made her a bit of a cynic.”
Merle glared at his brother. “She ain’t cynical, brother. She’s scared an’ tryin’ t’ cover th’ fear with bein’ tough. We’ve all done it at some point in our lives. Peach ain’t just gonna go run an’ hide … she’s gonna fight and she’s gonna survive. S’why we’re trainin’ her so hard.”
Lori held out her cup so Merle could refill it. “Carl is brave to a fault. I’m just so scared to let him out of my sight. I’ll probably be a wreck until Carol brings him back and they just went on a jog.”
“More of an obstacle course, actually,” Merle chuckled. “When Carol marked out th’ path, she wanted it t’ be realistic … as if they were really bein’ chased by walkers.”
Lori’s eyes widened. “You all really don’t think the government is going to get this pandemic under control, do you? You think -”
“We’re on our own,” Daryl cut in. “Jus’ ‘cause th’ military has tanks an’ heavy artillery, don’t mean they can’t die like your average man. Ain’t nobody gonna save us but ourselves. We jus’ gotta be ready.”
Merle removed one of the rabbits from the spit and carved it into quarters, placing a piece onto a plate and adding a spoonful of grits before passing it to the willowy brunette. “Y’ know, we could train Carl same as we’re doin’ with Peach.”
Lori nearly choked on the piece of meat she was chewing. “I … I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. He’s so young, and I really don’t think it’s a good idea for him to be around guns and knives. What if he hurts himself?”
Daryl fought back an eye roll as he gulped the last of his coffee. He knew Carl better than Lori ever would. That kid had fought alongside him like a seasoned warrior. He knew what the kid was capable of. Carl wouldn’t hesitate to sneak himself a weapon and learn on his own whether Lori approved of it or not.
“Y’ ain’t gonna be able t’ protect him forever, Olive Oyl. Kid looks more than capable despite his young age,” Daryl bit out a little more harshly than he’d intended, but he knew a shock to her system was more than what she needed. “Would y’ rather him find his own weapon an’ maybe hurt himself tryin’ t’ learn it on his own … or have someone train him how t’ use it responsibly where he can protect himself an’ his group?” He sighed and shook his head. “Hell, I get it if y’ don’t trust us. I can respect that, but I know y’ do trust Shane. He was a cop, so he should be more than qualified t’ train your boy.”
Daryl rose to his feet and turned to face his brother, his hand coming to rest on Merle’s shoulder. “I’m gonna go see if Glenn an’ maybe T-Dog wanna go on a run with us. Won’t hurt to have them back us up. Camp needs supplies in a bad way.”
“A’right, lil’ brother, when y’ wanna leave?”
“After breakfast,” he replied. “Ain’t goin’ nowhere ‘til my girls get back.”
*.*.*
Atlanta (just before dawn) …
She felt as though she were pulling herself up from the primordial ooze of eons past. Covered in walker guts, she picked up her son, stowed her knife and ran. It didn’t matter that the boy was nearly as big as she was at just eight years old, she wasn’t about to let go of him now.
Lexie’s feet carried her swiftly and quietly to the fence, her sneakers nearly silent against the sun-bleached concrete. She could hear the moans of the dead in the distance, but she smothered her surprise when she found the sidewalk leading away from Grady Memorial free of biters. She had all the motivation she needed to flee the hospital wrapped up in her arms.
Her roommate had dropped her son at the hospital in the middle of her shift the day everything had fallen apart, saying she was leaving the city. If she’d have been smart, Lexie would have taken Micah and left, too. But how could she leave so many sick and dying behind to the mercy of an understaffed emergency room. There had been soldiers stationed at the entrance - the only way in or out of the hospital - where incoming patients had first been checked for bites or scratches. Those infected had never made it through those doors. She’d seen them dispatched with a bullet to the head and then hauled to the underground parking garage where the bodies were to be put on a truck and taken out of the city to be burned.
Those doctors and nurses working in the hospital that day hadn’t been allowed to leave. Then by the time the military had moved out, they’d been too terrified to go outside and make a break for it. Lexie would be surprised if her son wasn’t now scarred for life from all he’d had to witness. She’d been afraid to let Micah out of her sight, urging him to hide in the rooms where she worked. Luckily, he was a smart kid, as well as small in stature. It had been easy for him to heed her words and stick close. At least until Hanson and his officers had arrived.
Lexie believed the man’s intentions were pure, but his second in command had given her a wonky feeling she hadn’t been able to shake. Dawn Lerner was ambitious and power-hungry. There was no way Lexie was going to stick around and let that woman use Micah as a bargaining chip to get her to fall in line.
She’d climbed down an elevator shaft ten stories with her son clinging to her in a sling she’d crafted from a bed sheet, down into the basement crawling with biters and into the fresh air of freedom. Her feet didn’t stop their mad dash until she was five blocks from Grady. Only then did she release the knots on the sheet and let Micah land lithely on his feet.
Lexie brushed his soft, sandy-blonde curls away from his brow and ran her fingers over his neck and arms, checking for scratches. She breathed a sigh of relief through the ache in her chest from her labored breathing. “You ok, baby?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
The boy nodded and then lifted his chin determinedly. “Where’re we gonna go, Mama? Why’d we leave the hospital?”
“It wasn’t safe there … we couldn’t stay,” she told him, taking his small hand in hers and setting off towards the north end of the city.
“And it’s safe out here?” he asked incredulously, his blue eyes wide as he met his mother’s gaze. “Those things are out here.”
Lexie ducked down an alley and headed for the fire escape of the nearest building, sending her son up ahead of her. “Don’t you worry, baby boy. I’m going to get us out of the city. We’ll find us some place safe.” She moved to the edge of the roof once they made it up, and took in the lay of the land. It wasn’t going to be easy with the amount of biters roaming freely throughout the deserted streets, but she refused to let them die in a city which had never shown her anything but pain. “We just need to make one small stop first.”
Notes:
A/n: Yes, I know I haven’t updated ANYTHING since January. I have a very good excuse, but I will not bore you with the details. I hope all of you are staying safe and healthy. Thanks so much for reading!!
Chapter 14
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
XIV
“Oomph!”
Carol let out a short whistle and rushed to Andrea’s side where the woman had face-planted in the dirt. Sophia – who had been leading the pack – came to a halt and rested her hands upon her slim hips in irritation.
Andrea apologized for slowing them up yet again. “I guess I’m just not used to running on such rough terrain,” she said, quickly climbing to her feet and brushing dirt from her hands.
Amy chuckled before she took a sip from her canteen. “Which is code for ‘I only run when my sister is visiting and makes me do physical activity’.
Carol hid a small grin and shook her head.
“Mom, we haven’t even made a whole lap yet. My muscles are freezing up with all the delays. Can’t me and Carl run on ahead?” Sophia huffed. “Amy could come with us and you can stay with Andrea.”
Carol pursed her lips and arched a disapproving brow at her daughter. “Sophia, we’ve been running this course for nearly a month. We know it like the back of our hands, but this is the first time for our new friends. It’s not like you to be so uncharitable. Apologize.”
Sophia’s hazel eyes flashed hotly. “But, Mom –“
“What do you think your dad would say if he were here?”
A lot. And Uncle Merle would call them a bunch of pansies. But she knew she couldn’t say that without her mother having a massive stroke from embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, ducking her head and scuffing the toe of her boot in the dirt to make it look more realistic.
Carol nodded, satisfied the sisters accepted the apology. She was well aware of all of Sophia’s tells and was confident she wasn’t sorry in the least, but now was not the time to call her on it.
She was right when Sophia raised her gaze and she could see the stubbornness dancing in her hazel eyes. “So, can we? Run ahead, I mean?”
“No, we set out together and we will return together. If you run ahead with Amy and Carl, you are the only one armed. If you ran into trouble, you would have to not only protect yourself, but those under your care. You are too inexperienced to handle it,” Carol told her gently, running a hand over Sophia’s soft hair. “You’ve learned so much since we’ve come here, and I trust you with my life, but I can’t trust you with theirs … not yet.”
Sophia chewed it over and then nodded. Her mother was right, and she knew it. She didn’t want to be responsible for the others and then fail to protect them. She was getting better, knew she could protect herself as Merle and Daryl and even her mom had taught her, but she couldn’t say how she’d react if she came upon a real walker. Would she freeze up? Forget her training? Run away? No, she didn’t want to be responsible for someone’s life.
“Ok, Mom, I get it.” She brought one knee up to her chest and then the other, stretching her muscles. “So, can we go now? If Andrea’s ready to continue?”
Carol smiled. “Yes, I think that would be a good idea. But we’re cutting our run short this morning.”
Sophia gave her a half-hearted salute and tugged on the sleeve of Carl’s t-shirt to get him moving. Amy fell into step behind them, leaving Andrea with Carol.
“She’s a handful, isn’t she?” the blonde asked, forcing tired muscles to cooperate with the pace her new friend set.
“She has her moments. It hasn’t been easy since her father died.” At Andrea’s sharp glance, Carol sighed. “Daryl is her stepfather. Ed … he wasn’t a good man. I did my best to keep everything from her, but Sophia has always been exceptionally observant. She’s been a different child since his death. She’s not afraid to share her thoughts and feelings.”
“Daryl seems to be a positive force in her life.”
Carol smiled. “He is. That’s his baby girl. Daryl and Merle have been training her since the day we all got out here.”
Andrea’s brows drew together into a deep from. “But isn’t it going to be all for nothing when the military gets this situation under control? Someone, somewhere, has to be working on a cure for this virus.”
Carol grabbed Andrea’s arm when the path veered sharply to the left and then again to the right, keeping her moving forward without running off the edge and crashing into a tree. “It’s always good to have hope, but this is one instance where I don’t believe there will be a cure. Think of all the plagues which have at one time decimated the Earth’s population. The Bubonic plague, Spanish Flu, Dengue and Yellow Fever, just to name a few. Not once did the dead get up and start eating the living.” She slowed when camp came into sight. “But don’t give up hope, Andrea. Everyone needs hope. As long as we’re breathing, things can always get better.”
*.*.*
Daryl’s brows rose in surprise as Sophia stalked into camp and went into the RV to retrieve a bottle of water from the refrigerator before returning to collapse in her camp chair next to him. Her brows were drawn darkly over her flashing eyes and she declined the plate of food Merle tried to pass her.
“Not hungry,” she grumbled.
Carl looked like he was on the verge of collapsing as he came to stand next to Lori. “Everything ok?” she asked her son.
The boy grinned at his mother. “Yeah, I’m good, Mom. I think that’s the most I’ve ever run before though.”
Sophia fought the urge to roll her eyes. She wasn’t going to take her bad mood out on her new friend. She’d promised her dad she would try. “You’ll get better, stronger. We usually run the trail twice before breakfast.”
“T-Twice?” he asked, paling a little.
Merle chuckled. “Lil’ runnin’ ain’t never hurt nobody, boy. Y’ need t’ build up some muscle so y’ don’t have noodle legs like Short Round.”
“Hey!” Glenn protested as T-dog chuckled.
Lori shook her head at their banter and handed Carl a plate of food and a bottle of water. She winced as Carol and the Harrison sisters returned to camp and she got a good look at Andrea. The older blonde had a good physique, curves in all the right places, but she doubted Andrea had ever gone jogging a day in her life.
Merle tapped his hand on the arm of Lori’s chair to get her attention as Daryl pulled Carol down to sit on his lap. “How y’ comin’ with that list, Olive?”
Lori rolled her eyes and handed off the list she’d been working on for the past thirty minutes or so. She really hated the name he insisted upon calling her, but she wasn’t going to make an issue of it. Merle Dixon was that type who would only take it to the next level if he knew something bothered her.
“Goddamn, woman!” Merle barked as he surveyed the list. “We ain’t clearing out downtown Atlanta, for fuck’s sake.”
“You asked me to get with the others and see what we needed. There’s the combined list,” she said with a smirk.
Merle handed the list to Daryl so Carol could make sure nothing had been left out. He’d already cleaned out the bed of Daryl’s truck, so it wasn’t as if they wouldn’t have room for everything. “A’right, let’s get this show on th’ road. Daylight’s burnin’.”
Sophia sat up straight in her chair and shot Daryl a wide-eyed look. “Where are you going? You’re leaving the camp?” she breathed heavily, her lower lip trembling.
Carol pushed herself up from her perch on Daryl’s lap and reached out a hand to her daughter. “Sweetheart, you know we have to go out on runs to replenish supplies. We’ve talked about this –“
“But why does it have to be my dad?” she wailed, her eyes filling with tears she refused to let fall. “Or Uncle Merle?”
“Soph –“ Carol began, but a soft touch of Daryl’s hand cut her off.
Daryl shot a look in Merle’s direction. “Give us a minute an’ I’ll meet y’ at th’ truck.” Without another word, he led Sophia off towards the edge of the tree line. The sun was already showing them it would be another miserably hot day, and a little shade was welcome.
Sophia crossed her arms stubbornly across her chest, but he knew it was just a ploy. Her eyes couldn’t hide her fear despite her efforts to conceal it.
Daryl reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder and she all but crumpled, dejection prevailing over her thin frame. “What’s all this about, Soph?”
She shook her head, refusing to meet his gaze. She felt like a contrary child instead of the capable young lady she’d become. “I don’t want you to go … you and Uncle Merle. You should be here with me and Mama.”
Her use of the name Mama was enough to tell him just how upset she was, and he knew he was going to have to use his words to soothe her this time. The man he’d been before would never have known how to deal with her, but though his body was the same one which had been at the quarry before, his mind was years ahead, his heart from another time.
Daryl crossed his arms over his chest and regarded her steadily. “A’right, say I stay here … who should go in my place? Or Merle’s?”
“I don’t know,” she frowned up at him. “It’s their group … let Shane or Morales go. They’re the ones who need the things you’re going to get.”
He bit his lip as he seemed to weigh her answer. “Ok, an’ when they don’t come back?”
Sophia’s lips parted in surprise. “What do you mean? Of course, they’ll come back.”
She looked unsure, which was what Daryl had been aiming for. “Y’ so sure about that? What’ve y’ learned about th’ group so far?” He fought back a smirk when her frown deepened. “Glenn delivered pizzas while goin’ t’ college. Prob’ly knows th’ city better than anyone, quick on his feet. He’d, no doubt, do well out there. S’why I chose him t’ go on this run.”
“Who else did you pick?”
“T-dog. He’s got muscle, won’t tire as easily if we gotta put down a lot o’ walkers, but he needs direction. He’s laid back, compassionate yet tough, but how well do y’ think he’d do out there on his own? He ran a barbeque restaurant with Jacqui in Senoia before everything went t’ hell.”
He watched his daughter bite her lip in indecision. He wasn’t making this easy on her. He wouldn’t.
“What about the other men in their group?”
Daryl sighed. “Y’ really wanna send Morales out there? What’re his kids gonna do when he don’t come back? I ain’t sayin’ he won’t be a good run partner with a little experience under his belt, but right now? Nah.”
Sophia threw up her hands in exasperation. “Shane’s their leader. Why can’t he go?”
He couldn’t hold back a snort. “What th’ hell’s he gonna do with a walker? Arrest it?”
She wrapped her arms around her middle, so tightly Daryl thought she might break a rib. She was trying so hard to be brave, but the tears welling in her eyes betrayed her as they spilled over her lashes. “I just don’t see why it has to be my family who has to go out there and risk their lives for people we don’t even know.”
“Y’ ain’t known me an’ Merle that long, but y’ see us as fam’ly. Who’s t’ say y’ won’t eventually feel th’ same about th’ rest o’ th’ group? Fam’ly ain’t always blood, baby girl,” he said gently, dropping to his knees to be on eye level with her as he brushed away her tears.
Sophia averted her gaze, looking down at the fine layer of dust covering the toes of her boots. “I’m scared,” she whispered so softly he questioned if he’d heard her correctly. “What if you don’t come back? I’ve never seen my mom so happy, and I finally have a real family. I c-can’t lose that.”
“Soph –“
She threw her arms around his broad shoulders and buried her face in his neck. “Daddy, please! Please don’t go.”
Daryl held onto her tightly, callused hands rubbing her back soothingly. “I have to go, Soph. Me an’ Merle … we were built for this world. Th’ others need our help t’ learn how t’ survive, an’ if I bailed an’ just sat back t’ watch them fail, I wouldn’t be a man you could respect.” He pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’m comin’ back t’ you an’ your mama. I promise.”
“You can’t promise that. There’s no telling what you’re going to run into out there,” she cried, swiping at her tears.
He gripped her shoulders firmly, his face mere inches from hers. “I always come home t’ your mama, an’ I’ll always be there for you, too. I might be new t’ this daddy business, but I take it seriously. If I tell y’ I’m comin’ back, y’ best believe it.” He took her hand and placed it over his heart. “You’re in here, Soph.”
Daylight was wasting with every second, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care as she clung to him, her tears soaking his shirt. He just held his daughter until she had burned through her anguish. Daryl pressed a kiss to the top of her golden head before he urged her back a little.
“C’mon, now, Soph. Merle’s prob’ly pacin’ by th’ truck like a rabid dog,” he chuckled. “Y’ wanna say goodbye t’ him, don’t y’?”
Sophia took the red rag he handed her and mopped her face. “Yeah,” she hiccupped, glancing up at him sheepishly, “and make sure you bring him back, too.”
Daryl watched his girl as she took off out of the tree line and made her way to the truck where the others were gathered. Carol was waiting for him at the edge of their campsite, her fingers tapping against the hilt of her knife. He fought back a smile at the clear tell of her well-hidden anxiety. His intense gaze clashed with her own as he reached for her hand, enveloping it in his warm grasp.
“Is she ok?” Carol asked, her voice barely more than a whisper, taking in the wet stain on his collar.
Daryl shrugged. “She don’t like th’ fact that we gotta go out there. I tried t’ explain it t’ her, but I don’t know if it did any good.”
She linked her fingers through his and gave them a little squeeze. She couldn’t have him going out there and worrying about what was going on back at camp. He couldn’t lose his focus. “Stop. She’s going to be fine,” Carol assured him. “Sophia loves you. Having men in her life who don’t terrify her is new to her. She doesn’t want to lose that.”
He flinched, tension radiating from him as he thought of her living in that house with Ed, terrified to make the slightest noise and have him notice her. No child should ever have to live like that. “I wouldn’t be goin’ without either o’ you if I had a choice, but she ain’t ready an’ you have things t’ do here, assholes t’ coddle.”
Carol snorted, her lips curling into the smile he loved. “Oh, the sacrifices we have to make,” she deadpanned.
The blast of a horn made them both tense. Daryl brought their joined hands up against his chest over his heart and pressed his brow to hers. “Be safe.”
She mirrored his actions, bringing his free hand to rest against her heart. “Nine lives, remember?” Her lips ghosted over his in the softest of kisses. “Come back to us.”
Daryl nodded, the lump of emotion in his throat prohibiting speech. He sighed heavily and stepped away from her, his long stride carrying him to the truck. The sooner he left, the sooner he could return to his family.
*.*.*
Merle kicked back in the seat and propped his foot up on the dash, earning a scowl from his brother. Glenn and T-dog were crammed onto the back seat, arguing over the city map Daryl had tossed them before heading out on the backroad which would lead them into Atlanta.
“Goddamn, Olive Oyl must think we can jus’ run out one o’ those warehouse stores an’ stock up. Have y’ seen this list she made?” he grumbled.
Daryl just grunted in response, keeping his eyes on the road.
Merle sighed, ignoring the two behind him as he studied his brother. “Y’ need t’ stop worryin’ about Peach. She’s gonna be a’right ‘til we get back. Don’t need y’ losin’ focus out here.”
“She’s my kid, Merle. Course I’ma worry.” He swung the truck into a shallow ditch and floored it, easily bypassing the traffic snarl and shooting back onto the road. “Soph is as safe with Carol as she is with me. That ain’t what’s worryin’ me.”
“Then what is it?”
Daryl glanced up into the rearview mirror to make sure Glenn and T-dog were still distracted with the map. “She completely broke down on me, man. It’s like she’s terrified I ain’t comin’ back.”
Merle tapped his fingers rhythmically against his jeans. “Hell, I’m glad it was you an’ not me, brother. Y’ gotta think, though … accordin’ t’ yer wife, her real daddy was a piece o’ shit. Now that she’s got you, o’ course she’s scared o’ losin’ y’. She’ll be a’right when she sees y’ ride back into that quarry this evenin’.” He reached over and slapped a hand against his brother’s chest. “Now pull yer head outta your ass and focus.”
“Hey, Short Round,” Daryl yelled over the two bickering in the back, “which way we headin’ in?”
Glenn shook his head, meeting Daryl’s eyes in the rearview mirror. He leaned between the seats and spread the map over the console so the brothers could see the route. “If we take Pendergast Avenue to 67th, we’ll have a lot to choose from. I know for sure there’s a Walgreens and a CVS, but the reason I chose this area is because of Vincent’s Pawn and Guns.”
“I still think we should go to Newman’s,” T-dog interjected. “We could get everything at one place.”
Glenn huffed, exasperated with the man. “Yeah, but that’s right in the heart of the city and is probably crawling with geeks!”
Merle thought it over for a minute before he lent his two cents. “I think we’ll go with Hop Sing’s idea. Smaller stores, easier t’ control th’ scene if things go t’ shit.”
Daryl smirked at Glenn’s smug smile. The Korean had never led them wrong in the other timeline, and he had faith he wouldn’t steer them badly this time around either. Another fifteen minutes had them stopping in a ‘pay to park’ car lot two blocks from the area they wanted to scavenge. He turned in his seat to face the two in the back.
“A’right,” he began, clearing his throat, “either o’ y’all kill any walkers before y’ showed up at th’ quarry?”
T-dog and Glenn shared a look before the big man answered. “I ran over a bunch of them. Does that count?”
Merle barked out a laugh. “No, dummy. Lil’ brother wants t’ know if y’ took any out with a weapon … gun, knife, pointy stick … get th’ picture?”
They shook their heads and Daryl sighed before reaching under the front seat and pulling out a pair of machetes. He passed them back. “Aim for th’ head. Only way t’ take them down an’ make sure they stay dead. Stick close. Don’t leave your ass hangin’ out there for one o’ them t’ take a bite out of it. Glenn, you’re with me. Merle, you an’ T take th’ back, me an’ Glenn th’ front.” He handed Merle a walkie he’d found in Carol’s supplies. “Only if y’ get boxed in,” he explained. “We goin’ in quiet, hit the far end first an’ then make our way back towards th’ truck. Any questions?”
Merle opened his door and climbed out, considering the discussion over and done. He grabbed some duffels from the bed of the truck and tossed them to the others before heading off down the sidewalk, sticking close to what little shadows still clung to the area. He waited until T-dog trotted up to him and then grabbed the man’s shirt and dragged him off down an alley to the back of the block of buildings.
Glenn stuck so close to Daryl he could have been a hemorrhoid. “Dude, how do you know so much about this kinda stuff?” he asked, keeping his voice to a whisper.
Daryl shrugged, stepping deeper into the shadows where he saw a few walkers milling about aimlessly at the mouth of an alley across the street. His arm shot out, pressing Glenn flush with the building until he felt it was safe to proceed.
“We’re not going to kill them?”
“There’s no need. Fightin’ will only draw more,” Daryl whispered back. “S’long as they don’t catch our scent, they won’t be a problem. C’mon.”
They’d almost reached the first pharmacy before Glenn’s patience ran out. “So, you’re just going to avoid my question?”
Daryl sighed and pulled Glenn through the partially open door, forcing it shut behind them. He couldn’t be sure what might have gotten into the store, and he really didn’t want to waste time talking when he needed to be clearing. “Man, y’ wouldn’t believe me if I told y’. Now focus. Use your ears, listen for groans, growls, clothes rustlin’, feet shufflin’. Y’ gonna hear them before y’ see them.”
“See, that’s what I mean. You –“
Daryl pushed Glenn to the floor at the same time he brought the crossbow up and fired, the bolt dropping the walker which had ambled out of the aisle nearest them.
He reached down and roughly helped the boy to his feet, Glenn’s face drained of blood and chalky white. “Clear now, talk later!” Daryl fairly snarled. “Y’ keep runnin’ your mouth while we’re in a city crawlin’ with th’ dead an’ you’re gonna end up as one of ‘em.”
Glenn’s jaw snapped shut with an audible click and his hand gripped the machete tightly. He didn’t say anything, merely nodded.
For a moment, Daryl felt bad for snapping at his friend. He reached out and gripped his shoulder firmly, making him meet his eyes. “You can do this. Jus’ gotta learn.”
Between the two of them, they cleared six walkers from the front of the store and loaded up on the non-perishable food items which hadn’t been looted, filling two trash bags to bulging. Merle and T-dog met them in the middle of the store, one duffel bag near to bursting with pharmaceuticals.
“Run into any trouble, brother?” Merle asked, his eyes making a sweep to the area around them. “Took out a few back there an’ four more in th’ alley. Dog’s got a good arm.”
“’Bout half a dozen up front.” Daryl nodded to the duffel slung over Merle’s chest. “Antibiotics?”
Merle nodded. “Yeah, an’ about a dozen different pain killers. Got some over th’ counter goods, too.”
“A’right, good thinkin’,” Daryl commended him. “Gimme th’ bag an’ we’ll run it back t’ th’ truck.”
Merle sucked his teeth and his eyes narrowed. “You do that an’ I’ll take Dog with me t’ th’ other pharmacy. You an’ Hop Sing drop this at th’ truck an’ double back t’ th’ pawn shop. Save time that way.”
Glenn shook his head. “I thought we were going to stick together. Safety in numbers and all that.”
Daryl felt his gut churn with dread. “Man, I don’t like it. What if y’ run into trouble.”
Merle tapped the walkie sticking out of the pocket of his vest. “That’s why I got this, right? Now stop bein’ a pussy an’ get to it. Daylight’s burnin’ an’ we need t’ get back t’ our people.”
He still didn’t like the idea of being separated from his brother. There were too many things which could go wrong, but he knew better than to open his mouth. Merle was the type to argue the sky was green just because Daryl said it was blue. “You’ll call if y’ get stuck?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Merle huffed. He shoved the duffel at Daryl and pried open the sliding door before shooting off across the street to the other pharmacy.
“He always so charming?” Glenn snickered.
“No, most times he’s worse.”
*.*.*
Glenn leaned over, bracing his free hand on his knee while the other still gripped a bloody machete as he gasped for breath. He was covering Daryl who was picking the lock on the door of the pawn shop. “Where the hell did they all come from?” he bit out.
Daryl shrugged, rising from his knees as the last tumbler clicked and the knob turned in his hand. “Dunno, man.” He grinned and shoved Glenn inside. “Maybe they smelled Merle an’ came t’ investigate.”
The boy snorted and shook his head before his eyes began to take in the store. His hand tightened on the blade he held, and his steps were slow and measured as he moved. The redneck had kept up a steady stream of pointers as they’d brought their bags back to the truck, and Glenn took them to heart; anything that would allow him to survive one more day.
They hadn’t run into trouble until they’d headed to the pawn shop. The six geeks which had been milling around the alley earlier had turned into a baker’s dozen and had all been out for fresh meat. Glenn had been thankful he’d been paired with Daryl who had thrown himself into the fight, crossbow on his back and a wicked looking knife in each hand. Glenn had taken out four before he realized it was over.
“Place was locked up tight, windows boarded,” Daryl murmured, gaze sweeping the shadows. “Doubt we find any walkers unless th’ owner barricaded himself in th’ back.”
Glenn nudged his partner with an elbow. “Hey, check it out,” he said, pointing off to the left where a tent was set up next to the window along with a display of camping gear. “Jackpot!”
Daryl smirked. “Yeah. Grab some of those packs an’ load up what y’ can of those dried goods, tents, an’ whatever else is on th’ list. Pile it up at th’ door. I’ll go have a look in th’ back, then we’ll see what we can find in th’ way of ammo.” He grabbed Glenn by the back of his shirt before the kid could step away. “Watch your ass.”
He left Glenn to pack up and moved towards the back of the shop. Dust motes danced in the muted light filtering through the slats in the boarded windows and a sense of unease washed over him. Despite the comforting weight of the crossbow on his back, the shop was too limited on space for him to wield it with any rate of success.
Daryl glanced back towards Glenn, relieved to see him busy with his task. A dingy green covering hung over the door leading into what he was sure was office and storage space. His eyes narrowed as he crept closer, the hairs rising on the back of his neck. It wasn’t fear, but rather wariness of what might be awaiting him through that doorway.
There were no growls, no moans, not even the dragging shuffle of feet to greet him … simply silence. He should not feel like death was waiting for him, ready to reach out with venom-laced talons to sink into his throat. He palmed his knives and breathed out through his nose, whipping the curtain to the side as he readied the blade in his right hand, prepared to sink it into anything which thought to sink its teeth into him.
Nothing … not even a stirring of the air. Well, nothing but the remains of one lone walker, a small circular hole dead center between its eyes. Daryl dropped to a knee and peered at it curiously. It wasn’t caused by a bullet. It was too clean and there was no lingering gunpowder residue. It would take him more time than they had to puzzle it out.
He stepped over the walker and moved to the open doorway of what was clearly the office, and where the owner apparently liked to stash extra ammo for the small arsenal he kept there. Pulling the pack from his shoulder, he began loading it down with the ammo and several of the handguns. The group would need more firepower despite what he’d gotten before everything had fallen apart.
That eerie feeling washed over him again as he left the office and made his way back to the front of the store. Glenn had a decent pile of things he’d scavenged, and he knew it was going to be a bitch hauling it to the truck even with T-dog and Merle’s help.
“Everythin’ quiet so far?” he asked, grabbing the bag Glenn tossed his way. Daryl dropped it onto the pile and surveyed the street through the slats on the front window.
“Yeah, just …” Glenn sighed. “It’s crazy, but I get this feeling like somebody’s watching me. We checked the store, and there’s no one in here. Hell, I guess I’m just being paranoid or something.”
“Nah, I felt it, too. Y’ ain’t crazy,” Daryl murmured as he glanced up in the mirror hanging near the ceiling in the corner. He dug the keys out of the front pocket of his cargos and tossed them to Glenn. “Why don’t y’ go pull th’ truck up t’ th’ front door an’ we’ll load this shit? Then when Merle and T get here, we can head on back t’ th’ quarry.”
Glenn pointed at the case set under a bank of windows. “I still have to box up some of those knives. I think T-dog and Shane are the only people in the group who even have a knife.”
“I’ll get them while y’ go for th’ truck.” He knew he wasn’t imagining the small movement barely visible behind the case. “If we’re too late gettin’ back, Sophia’s gonna give me shit an’ –“
“You don’t want her to worry. I get it.” Glenn didn’t say anything more before he tore out the door and down the street.
Daryl watched him go, or at least pretended to watch when - in reality - he was listening for the sound of movement behind him. He knew his mind hadn’t been playing tricks on him earlier when he’d seen something or someone behind the display case. His stride was easy and confident as he made his way across the room. Bringing the crossbow off his shoulder, he bashed in the glass case. He didn’t have time to go on a hunt for keys before Glenn got back with the truck, and the group needed knives desperately if they were going to survive.
He could feel eyes on him, his flesh prickling with goosebumps at the eerie knowledge he was being watched, but he went about his task, shoving the blades into his bag and zipping it up. From the corner of his eye, he saw a small head peek out from behind another display case. Bingo!
“I know you’re there,” he said softly as he turned slowly in the direction he’d seen the kid. “I’m jus’ here for supplies for my people. Ain’t here t’ hurt nobody.”
Silence.
Daryl moved slowly. “Are y’ okay? Hurt? My group could help y’.” He leaned over the case and met the boy’s wide frightened eyes. “We have a lot o’ good people in our group. We can keep y’ safe, an’ –“
He froze when he felt the piercing sting of a blade just beneath his left shoulder blade before another was brought to the side of his neck.
“Get the hell away from my son,” a venomous voice hissed.
Daryl swallowed roughly as he felt adrenaline begin to course hotly through his veins. “Kinda hard t’ do that when y’ got a knife t’ my back,” he spat. “Don’t want no trouble, lady. I was jus’ offerin’ t’ help your kid.”
“Yeah,” she snorted, a note of bitterness in her voice. “I know all about assholes wanting to help. And don’t bother trying to deny it.”
So, he didn’t. Instead of trying to reason with her, he swept his leg back and took her down before she had a chance to stab him in the back. Her blade caught his ear when she lost her balance, nicking him, and he cursed, feeling the blood leak from the wound. He turned in time to see her roll away and quickly gain her feet.
Daryl help up his hands to ward her off as she brandished two weapons he’d never seen outside of a martial arts movie. Sai, he believed they were called. Regardless, she seemed to know how to use them. When she advanced, he drew his knives, using them to hold off her attack. He cringed when he got a good look at her. Face covered in bruises and dried blood littering the fitted tank top she wore. She’d seen some shit to be sure, and she wasn’t taking any chances of letting it happen to her again.
“Would y’ fuckin’ stop a sec?!” he gritted out through clenched teeth. He blocked one blade just to receive a slash to his left side with the other, the sound of rending fabric meeting his ears. “I may be an asshole, but I ain’t never put my hands on a woman, and never a kid.”
He didn’t want to hurt her, but he was afraid it would be inevitable if he wanted to escape with his life. It seemed like such a waste to end her when she was only trying to protect herself and her son.
Daryl was trying to make up his mind on how to do the least amount of damage when the door flying open distracted him, allowing her past his defenses. She was actually a bit surprised - from the look on her face - when the Sai pierced his shoulder and hit bone from the weight she threw into the thrust.
The knife fell from his numb fingers as he brought his arm around her, carrying her with him to the floor. She was out cold from the blow Merle had landed to the back of her head.
Glenn rushed in behind him and took the red shop rag Merle handed him, pressing it to Daryl’s shoulder to staunch the flow of blood.
“What th’ fuck, Darylina?! I can’t leave y’ alone for five minutes without y’ gettin’ yer ass kicked by some scrawny ninja,” Merle bellowed.
Daryl dropped his head back against the hardwood floor and groaned. “Shut up, y’ bastard! It ain’t even that bad.”
“Y’ bleedin’ like a stuck pig! Don’t tell me it ain’t bad. Carol’s gonna have both our asses, an’ y’ know it. An’ that ain’t gonna be as bad as how Sophia reacts.”
Daryl didn’t get to say anything else before the kid ran out from his hiding place and kicked Merle right in the knee. And from the looks of it, he knew exactly where to hit him.
“You killed my mama!”
Merle yowled and reached for him, but the boy skittered away from him, rushing forward to check on his mother. “She ain’t dead!” he protested loudly. “I jus’ knocked her ass out before she killed my brother. I –“ His words died a quick death when the boy rolled his mother onto her back and Merle was able to see her face clearly. The blood drained from his face and the air he drew in turned to ice in his lungs. “Oh, shit … Lexie.”
Notes:
A/n: Sorry for the delay. My daughter and granddaughter came in to visit and stayed for two weeks. Who’s going to write when they can play with a grandbaby?! Right?! Well, anyhoo, I hope you enjoyed the update. Love and hugs!
Chapter Text
XV
Daryl pushed through the throbbing agony in his shoulder, lifting his head to stare in horror at his brother. “Y’ know her?! Fuck, why th’ hell am I surprised? If there’s some psycho stalker chick, you gonna find her … th’ crazier th’ better.”
Merle tore his gaze away from the woman he’d pulled onto his lap and glared at Daryl. “Calm yer tits, would y’? I don’t have t’ explain everythin’ goin’ on in my life t’ y’. ‘Sides … it was a long time ago.” He nodded at Glenn and T-dog, pointing a finger at the pile of supplies waiting by the front door. “Y’all get that shit loaded an’ I’ll get them in th’ truck. C’mon, move. Gotta get Darylina back t’ his wife so she can patch him up.”
The younger Dixon rolled up on his knees, fighting off a wave of dizziness. He ignored Glenn’s helping hand, shaking his head. He was no pussy. He could get his own ass to the truck. He’d been in way worse situations than this and practically crawled home to Carol’s tender loving care. “I got it.”
Merle rose to his feet with Lexie cradled bridal style in his arms, causing a look of panic to surge across the child’s face. “Where’re you goin’ with my mama? Stop! You can’t take her!”
He ignored the kid long enough to get Lexie to the truck where he deposited her in the front passenger seat. Only when she was belted in did he turn to the boy. “Look, I know yer scared, an’ there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. I’d be more worried if y’ wasn’t,” Merle said gently, dropping down to a knee to be eye level with him. He may be one of the world’s biggest assholes, but he wasn’t gonna take shit out on a kid. “I didn’t want t’ hurt her … s’why I knocked her out instead. Our group, we don’t hurt women an’ kids, get me?”
“She thought that man was trying to hurt me,” the kid replied in his mother’s defense.
“I get that,” Merle nodded. “She don’t know Daryl like she knows me. We’re gonna take you an’ yer ma back with us, ok? Get y’ somethin’ hot t’ eat, a bath, an’ a safe place t’ sleep. We even got some kids there y’ can play with.”
“Really?”
“Yep, my niece is one of ‘em. We jus’ wanna help y’. Think y’ can trust me?”
Merle looked up as Daryl finally made his way to the truck and climbed into the backseat, leaning his head heavily on the window. “What if my mom doesn’t wanna stay with your group? Would y’ make us?” the boy asked, narrowing his clear blue gaze on Merle.
What the hell kinda shit had Lexie and her boy been exposed to, he wondered. “Y’ ain’t gonna be a prisoner if that’s what you’re gettin’ at, but y’all are welcome to stick with us. We’ll keep y’ safe. Both of y’.”
“Okay,” the boy sighed heavily. “I jus’ hope she don’t get mad because I agreed to go with you.”
Merle chuckled and lifted him up into the truck, raising the console so the kid could sit in the middle. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure she won’t blame y’. What’s your name, kid?”
“Micah.”
“Well, Micah, I’m Merle an’ that’s m’ brother, Daryl. Korean kid is Glenn an’ th’ big lummox is T-dog. Now, jus’ sit tight an’ we’ll leave in a minute. Buckle yer ass in.”
Micah reached out and grabbed Merle’s wrist in a tight grip. “Wait! Mom has some bags in there. I gotta get them … they’re important,” he cried frantically, trying to get past Merle to run back inside.
Merle pushed him gently back down onto the seat. “Hold on there, boy. Y’ stay yer ass in th’ truck an’ I’ll run back in for them. Y’ know where they are?”
The kid nodded. “Behind the case with the knives.”
Merle leveled Daryl with a look and Daryl waved him off, silently telling him he would watch over them until he got back.
Daryl cracked an eye open when the boy peeked over the seat, his gaze boring into him. Micah looked like he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. It could be he was just intimidated by Daryl or felt guilty for having played a part in getting him hurt. He didn’t feel at all qualified to guess what went on in the kid’s mind, and didn’t have the energy to try.
“Y’ got somethin’ t’ say, kid, spit it out,” he grumbled wearily. All he could see was eyes, nose, and a shock of dark blonde hair peering over the seat.
“I’m sorry you got stabbed.” A small hand bearing a red sucker appeared in the crack between the raised console and the driver’s seat.
Daryl chuckled and shook his head. The boy would have every woman in that camp charmed in no time flat. “Naw, you keep it,” he murmured, his voice a reassuring hum as he nodded towards the peace offering.
Merle shoved the bags on the front floorboard next to Lexie’s feet and rounded the hood of the truck, climbing in behind the wheel as their other two run partners squeezed into the back seat with Daryl. “A’right … let’s get this shit show on the road.”
*.*.*
The spoon Carol was using to stir the pasta sauce clattered to the stovetop, leaving a trail of marinara across the surface. Sophia hurried to put the lid back on the pot and shot a worried glance at her mother. “Mom?”
Carol could feel him. The fine hairs along the nape of her neck stood at attention and a tingle marched its way across her scalp. Daryl … “Yes … yes, I’m fine, Sophia,” she stammered, trying to get ahold of her emotions before her churning stomach betrayed her. “Why don’t you take the bread out of the oven and keep an eye on the pasta while I step outside for a moment.”
“Are you sure you’re ok?”
Carol smiled and dropped a kiss to her daughter’s brow. “I’m fine, baby. I just need some air.”
Sophia shrugged and set to the task Carol had given her. She remembered a time when the girl would have stuck to her like glue, perpetually worried all the time. She was thankful for the new Sophia. Grateful she could step outside to get a grip on herself before Daryl got back.
Carol had always had a bond with the man she now called her husband. Navigating the pitfalls of the apocalypse hadn’t been a walk in the park, but they’d shared a deep and abiding friendship few others could ever hope to have in their lifetimes. They had the uncanny ability to speak without the need for words, exist in the same space without incessant idle prattle. However, she’d never experienced anything like what she’d felt moments ago. She’d felt his distress so acutely, confident she hadn’t imagined it. It was still there at the very edge of consciousness, and she knew it would remain there until he returned.
She moved over to the Winnebago and shielded her eyes from the sun as she looked up at Dale. “Have you seen anything?”
The old man shook his head. “Not yet,” he replied with a reassuring smile. “I’m sure they’re fine, Carol, and we still have plenty of daylight.”
Carol returned it – though it didn’t reach her eyes – and headed back towards the RV to fetch the medical kit she kept in one of the storage spaces. It was only then that she began to pace. If Daryl were injured, there was nothing which would keep Merle from bringing him back to her.
“Mom, I drained the pasta and added it to the sauce, so supper is ready,” Sophia said cheerily as she stepped outside. Her face fell, however, when she noticed her mother’s agitation. “Mom, what’s wrong?”
Carol wasn’t given the opportunity to answer.
“Carol!” Dale called from his perch, binoculars to his face. “They’re coming in hot.”
Damnit … of all the times to be right.
Sophia came to a stop at her side. “What’s that mean? Did the truck overheat or something?”
“No –“
Carol was cut off by a squeal from her daughter as she caught a glimpse of Daryl in the back seat and tore across the camp, a huge smile on her gamine-like face. “Daddy!”
Oh, this was going to be a nightmare, Carol groaned inwardly. She arrived at the truck in time to hear Sophia bombard Merle with questions … “Who’s that … why is that woman unconscious … is she bit … who’s the kid …” and the loudest of all, “Why’s my dad covered in blood?!”
“What the blue blazes, Peach?” Merle cried as the girl poked him hard in the chest with a bony finger.
Her face was red, and her eyes flashed hotly with green fire. She waved a hand in Daryl’s direction before snapping at her uncle. “This is not what I call keeping him safe! You promised.”
“Well, he ain’t dead or missin’ no appendages, is he?”
“Sophia!” Carol warned sternly as she moved to the back of the truck where Daryl was leaning against it and smirking at his daughter.
The girl shot one more glare at Merle before moving to grab Daryl’s crossbow from the back of the truck. It nearly made her stumble from the weight of it. Wide hazel eyes lifted to take in her father. “How bad is it, Daddy?”
“Ain’t bad at all, Soph. Jus’ a flesh wound, really,” he lied. “Your mama will have me patched up in no time.” He bit the inside of his lip to keep from wincing as Carol wrapped her arm around his waist and slipped his good arm around her shoulders. “Drop my bow off at th’ RV an’ then see what y’ can do t’ help Merle get all this unloaded.”
Sophia still looked uncertain, torn between wanting to stay with them and doing what he’d told her to do. “Are you sure you’re ok?”
“Promise, baby girl. An’ make sure Merle brings me them knives so I can see what we got before handin’ ‘em out.”
Thankfully, she ran off to do as he’d bid, and no one stopped them on the way to the RV. Daryl groaned as he dropped down to the edge of the bed, his legs threatening to buckle beneath him.
Carol’s eyes narrowed on him. “You lied to her, didn’t you?” she accused, already working the buttons loose on his sleeveless shirt.
Daryl nodded. “Didn’t want her in here cryin’ an’ shit. Don’t need her worryin’ herself more than necessary.”
She shot him a warning look before heading towards the door. “Stay put, Dixon. I’ve got to grab some supplies to clean you up …” Her tone turned teasing. “… again.”
“Hurry up, woman!” he growled, his lips turning up at one corner.
It didn’t take her long to come back with her medical kit and a bowl of warm water. “Ok, let’s see what you’ve done this time,” she teased lightly as she set her supplies down and moved to peel his ruined shirt from his frame.
“Pfft,” he scoffed, biting back a groan when the fabric of his shirt pulled away from his wound. “Cain’t blame this one on me. I was jus’ tryin’ t’ help th’ kid.”
Carol pressed a gauze pad to the nickel-sized hole in his shoulder before dipping a washcloth into the warm water, using it to bathe the blood from his skin. She sighed in relief when she was able to see the extent of his injury. “You’re going to need a few stitches, three at the most. At least whatever weapon made this didn’t go through to the other side,” she told him. “And you won’t be able to train with Sophia for at least a week. I know I won’t be able to keep you down for longer than that.”
His right hand came to rest on her hip, pulling her to stand between his parted legs so he could bury his face against her belly. “Jus’ do what y’ gotta. Y’ know I’m easy.”
Carol chuckled, carding her fingers through his hair and letting her nails rake gently over the back of his neck. “You were always a better patient for me than Hershel. Poor man.”
Daryl arched a brow up at her as he dipped his head to press a kiss just above her belly button. “Yeah, well I like you better.”
She removed a suture kit from the bag and sat down beside him, threading the needle. “Tell me what happened out there. How did you get hurt?”
He hissed as she coated his wound in betadine. “Glenn found this pawn shop; ammo, some guns, good haul o’ campin’ gear an’ a shit ton o’ knives. Figured th’ group’s gonna need ‘em. Whole time we were there, felt like we were bein’ watched.” He sucked in a harsh breath as the needle pierced his skin, but didn’t let it distract him. “I coulda sworn I saw somethin’ from th’ corner o’ my eye, so I sent Glenn for th’ truck.”
“Where was Merle?”
“The four of us had already hit one pharmacy. Merle decided t’ send me an’ Glenn t’ th’ pawn shop while he an’ T hit th’ other pharmacy. We were gonna meet up when they were done an’ head out.”
Carol shook her head. “I don’t think it would be wise to tell Sophia that Merle wasn’t with you the entire time. She’s already mad you got hurt on his watch.”
Daryl gave a roll of his eyes as he snorted. “Yeah, like I ain’t a grown man. I can take care o’ myself.” He blushed to the roots of his hair as she gave his wound a pointed look. “Most of the time,” he amended. Satisfied with the dressing she’d taped to his shoulder, he pulled her down to straddle his lap while he continued his tale.
She snuggled into his embrace, her face pressed to his throat as his arms banded around her. “She loves you and is afraid to lose you. It has nothing to do with her thinking you can’t take care of yourself. I know you better than anyone, and even I have to admit I was worried.”
He hummed in response as she let her nails trail over his nape again. “Anyway …” He was forced to clear his throat to rid it of the emotion welling there, needing to steer the conversation back to the events of the run. “Found th’ boy hidin’ behind one o’ th’ display cases. Made him an offer of help, safety, food in his stomach. Thought he was alone.”
“So, that woman … took you by surprise? Don’t tell me she sneaked up on you.”
Daryl looked down at her, a look of disgust directed at himself. “Damn right she did. Had these weird looking knives, one t’ my throat an’ another pressed against my back. An’ believe me, she wasn’t wantin’ t’ hear anythin’ about comin’ back here. She was more intent on guttin’ me. Merle showed up finally an’ clocked her one on th’ back o’ her head.”
“Is that how you got stabbed?”
He growled lowly in displeasure. “I was distracted, a’right? I didn’t want him t’ kill her. Was gonna warn him not to, an’ I let my guard down.” His scowl morphed into a half moon grin, and his eyes held a note of mischief. “But that ain’t th’ best part.”
Carol sat back on his knees, the corners of her eyes crinkling as they narrowed. She knew he was just waiting for her to ask. “What’s the best part … although how there can be a best part when you got stabbed -”
“Merle knows her.”
“Come again?”
Daryl nodded as she climbed off his lap and fetched him a clean shirt. “Yep. He knows her. Prob’ly had an affair with her at one point, who knows.”
Carol stopped just short of handing him the soft tee, the color leaching from her face. “And the boy? I mean … I didn’t get a good look at him, but –“
His brow furrowed in confusion. “What? Spit it out, woman.”
“Is he … I mean, could he be … Merle’s son?”
*.*.*
Merle sat on the arm of the sofa, arms crossed over his chest as he watched Lexie struggle back to consciousness. He still couldn’t believe she was there, laid across the cushions where he usually made his bed. Of all the people he could have come across on that run … Lexie? His Lexie? He ran a weary hand over his face. But she wasn’t his anymore, now was she? It was no one’s fault but his own, and right then, he was wanting desperately to kick his own ass.
What would have happened to them if he and Daryl had never gone on that run? It made his stomach churn and his head hurt just to think about it. Carol had made no mention of it in that journal of hers, so he was pretty sure he hadn’t found Lexie in the other timeline. Goddamnit, it was enough to make him want to lose himself at the bottom of a bottle.
He waited with a patience he hadn’t known he possessed as a small moan reached his ears. He didn’t have long to wait, that little moan quickly followed by a gasp as her fingers reached to curl around a weapon on the back of her belt which was no longer there.
“Micah!” she called frantically, her body shooting upward, eyes searching for her child.
A sad smile etched his lips. “He’s having his dinner jus’ outside with th’ kids. Then he’s gonna go on down t’ th’ lake an’ have a wash while we talk.”
“Merle …” His name on her lips, so filled with disbelief, was a knife to his heart. “Where am I? How did I get here? Give me back my son!” she hissed, anger replacing her earlier confusion.
“Y’ act like y’ ain’t glad t’ see me, sugar.” His features hardened, a deadly glint shadowing his eyes. “Don’t y’ mean our son? An’ don’t y’ even try t’ deny it, woman. He looks jus’ like Daryl at that age.”
Lexie shot to her feet, but he was positioned between her and the door, and there was no way he was going to let her pass. “He’s my son. You left, and I had to deal with everything on my own. You have no claim to him, Merle Dixon,” she spat viciously, “despite the DNA you donated.” There was no denying it whether she wanted to or not. Micah had Dixon written all over him.
Merle rose from his seat and towered over her petite five foot frame, eyes narrowing dangerously. “Shit happened.”
Her lip curled in disgust. “Seriously? That’s all you have to say for yourself … shit happened? You said you were coming back! And I stupidly believed you!” She crossed her arms over her chest, fighting the urge to find something with which to bludgeon him.
“I was! I wanted a life with you, Lex … was gonna get clean an’ find a respectable job, an’ –“
“And what? Some floozy caught your eye?”
“No!” he protested. “I went t’ sell my stash, figured we could use th’ money. Hell, I had a couple o’ grand tied up in that shit. We coulda used it t’ get an apartment closer t’ th’ university.” He pressed on as some of the anger drained from her dark eyes. “I was set up. Cops busted me for possession an’ intent t’ distribute. One o’ th’ guys there had brought along his cousin – who was only seventeen – so I got a charge of contributing t’ th’ delinquency of a minor, too. Didn’t help that I already had two strikes against me. I was sent t’ prison for five goddamn years, Lex. I couldn’t come back.”
She cocked her head to the side, regarding him steadily. “Did they break your fingers?”
Merle frowned, his brow knit in confusion. “No … why th’ hell would they do that?”
“You could have fucking called!” she exploded. “Instead, you just dropped off the face of the earth. I stayed in that shitty trailer, an’ I waited for you. I loved you … until I just couldn’t anymore. I finished my doctorate while carrying my son, did everything I could to make sure he never wanted for anything while I did my residency. He doesn’t even know who you are, Merle, and I plan to keep it that way. We didn’t need you then and we sure as fuck don’t need you now.”
He sucked his teeth and straightened up in affront. He didn’t lash out at her in spite of the overwhelming desire to do so, simply gestured to take a seat on the sofa. “Sit yer ass down a minute.”
“No! I want my son so I can get the hell out of here, and –“
“Sit!” he snarled in a tone she couldn’t help but obey. “In case y’ ain’t noticed, th’ dead started risin’ up t’ eat th’ livin’. The fuckin’ apocalypse is beatin’ down our door. Y’ ain’t takin’ our son out there.”
Lexie glared right back at him. “Well, I can’t stay here!”
“Yes, y’ can. We got people … good people … here in this group. We got food, shelter. There ain’t no reason t’ go out there on y’ own, woman. Y’ can’t take Micah out there where anythin’ could happen t’ him.” He dropped to a crouch before her, practically pleading.
She sat back and frowned stubbornly at him. “We managed so far.”
Merle reached out an ran a gentle finger over the bruise on her cheek. “Don’t look that way t’ me.”
Lexie was unable to defend herself, distracted by the door at the end of the RV opening. Her eyes widened, recognizing the man standing there with his arm in a makeshift sling.
“Y’all done yelling? Hate t’ interrupt, but I’m starvin’,” Daryl explained, making his way towards them, Carol following behind him.
Merle rose to his feet and pulled Lexie up beside him. “Lex, this is my brother, Daryl, an’ his wife, Carol.”
Lexie winced upon seeing Daryl standing there, feeling guilty she’d hurt him when he’d only been trying to help them. And it was evident, his good intentions, now that she wasn’t blinded by panic. “I’m so sorry for stabbing you,” she offered lamely, wanting the earth to swallow her whole. She could barely stand to look at his wife, afraid to see condemnation in her eyes.
He raised his good hand to stop her. “Nah, s’all good. Y’ were jus’ tryin’ t’ protect your boy. I’d have done th’ same for my fam’ly.”
“Which now includes you,” Carol added, offering the woman a smile. “Now, let’s see about getting something to eat, shall we? Merle, where did you put the bags from the pharmacy run? I need pain medication for your brother.”
Merle shot a warning look at Lexie before nodding and disappearing out the door with Daryl on his heels.
Carol pursed her lips for a moment and then motioned to the open doorway. “Don’t worry, I promise we don’t bite. Well, Daryl perhaps if you get too close while he’s eating.”
Lexie’s mouth fell open in horror. “That’s a joke, right?”
“Of course. You just seem like you needed it. Sometimes I forget there is no sense of humor in the middle of an apocalypse.” She turned her attention to the table she kept under the awning and handed Lexie a bowl of pasta. “Sorry it’s not more, but I was giving Sophia a cooking lesson and wanted to start with something easy.”
“No,” Lexie assured her, “I’m grateful.”
Carol was surprised to see Glenn alone by the central fire. “Glenn, where is everyone?”
The Korean shrugged, dragging his gaze away from the low-burning flames. “Shane and Andrea took all the kids down to the lake to bathe, and those who needed tents are still setting up.” He glanced at Lexie with a smile. “It’s good to see you under better circumstances.”
The woman sat down on a log near the fire and offered a wan smile before digging into her dinner. “Back at you.”
Glenn sent Carol a pointed look. “How’s Daryl? He lost a good bit of blood, and … well, I was just wondering if –“
“If he was going to make it?” she grinned. “Yes, he’s going to make a full recovery. I doubt I can keep him down for more than a few days despite the stitches.” Her looked turned sympathetic. “You don’t have to be afraid to ask him questions, you know.”
He shook his head. “I just didn’t want to bother him.” He rose to his feet and took a step towards the Winnebago. “Thank you for dinner, Carol. I’m gonna see if I can’t catch a few hours before my watch.”
Carol rested her empty bowl on the arm of her chair, noticing the scowl on Daryl’s face as he and Merle joined them with their own food. “Merle, did he take something?”
The eldest Dixon grunted an affirmative around his first forkful of noodles. “Yeah. We had a pretty good haul from that run. Found him somethin’ mild enough t’ kill ease th’ pain but not strong enough t’ mess with his head. Although, it woulda been easier t’ french kiss a rabid dog than get th’ boy t’ take a pill.”
“Have experience in that sorta thing, Merle?” Lexie snarked as she finished the last of her meal.
His left eye twitched ever so slightly that if Carol hadn’t been looking at him directly, she would have missed it. She knew it must be killing him not to remark with a snarky rejoinder, but he held his silence. For how long, she couldn’t know. Instead, she tried to lead the conversation into safer territory.
“Where were you when the world ended?” she asked softly, curling up further into her chair and resting her head on Daryl’s good shoulder as if she were settling in for a long bedtime story.
Daryl snorted.
“What? Don’t tell me you aren’t dying to know.” She fluttered her lashes at him, and he couldn’t help but blush at the sultry look in her clear blue eyes.
Lexie sighed, setting her bowl aside and rubbing her palms along the legs of her jeans. “Grady Memorial,” she replied, closing her eyes as if to banish a horrible memory. She looked back at Carol, however, when she felt composed enough to answer. “I worked there in general surgery, closely linked with the ER. Traumas were my specialty. I’ve lost my share of patients … just never thought I’d see them come back. Learned quickly how to put them down even though I was at a loss for how to make the dead stay dead. We all had our theories, from a bacterium to a virus, but no answers on how to cure it.
“We were all just stuck, praying the military would arrive to put things to rights.” She shook her head. “They did try to help for a few days, maybe a week. Then the order came for them to evacuate, and they left without a word. We thought perhaps they had to go help with one of the camps, but then the bombs were dropped, and we knew otherwise.”
Merle’s voice had a menacing quality to it. “They jus’ left y’ there? Th’ bastards are s’posed t’ help in a crisis, ‘specially of this magnitude. Fuckin’ government!”
She met his gaze, surprised to find him angry on her behalf, but she refused to dwell on it. If she did, she was likely to grab Micah and not stop running until she hit the Pacific. “Local law enforcement wasn’t much better. I’d already planned to leave. When they showed up, I knew it needed to be soon. The way some of the officers looked at the nurses … it didn’t leave me much choice.”
Daryl wrapped his arm around his wife and pulled her closer. “That what happened t’ your face? One of ‘em try t’ stop y’?”
Lexie wrapped her arms around her middle as though the act would hold her together. “One of them, Gorman … he tried to rip Micah right out of my arms. He wanted to use my son as leverage to get me to stay. I knew if I did, he’d eventually kill one of us.” She peeled back her sleeve to reveal the scalpel she kept in a tiny homemade sheath she’d tied to her wrist. “He hit me twice before he could get me to pull it out of his thigh. Few more inches …”
“Clever,” Carol murmured appreciatively. This was a woman she could respect for sheer resourcefulness. “So, how did you end up in the pawn shop?”
A bitter chuckle escaped the brunette. “I had some unpaid fees when graduation rolled around, and I couldn’t get my diploma or certifications until they were paid. So, I pawned the Sai blades I inherited from my grandfather. I went back with the pawn ticket and cash in hand to get them, but the old bastard conned me. Kept giving me excuses of why it was too late to claim them. When I left Grady, I knew I had to get them back. I needed a weapon I could use to protect us.” She shot a sheepish look at Daryl. “I really am sorry I stabbed you. After what I’d been through trying to get away from the hospital … well, I thought you were trying to hurt my son.”
“Told y’ … s’all good, an’ y’ need t’ think about stayin’ with us, with th’ group. We can help y’ keep your boy safe.”
“I will … think about it, that is.”
Merle handed Carol his bowl – who had risen to collect them – and held out a hand to Lexie. “C’mon, think it’s time for us t’ finish our conversation, an’ go see what our son has gotten into.”
Despite her gut telling her to run in the other direction, she slipped her fingers across his palm and let him pull her up.
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