Chapter Text
Sam was staring into the stupid light that his stupid laptop was giving off whilst he sat in the stupid library in the stupid bunker wondering how hard it would be to just go back to being soulless. Although that could be considered dramatic - and it really was - Sam was just sitting there thinking about how much easier it would be to go back to having no emotions. At least then he wouldn't be in this situation.
His situation being a stupid crush on the stupid archangel who'd moved in with them that he was praying would just hurry up and go already because he had work he’d like to be getting on with without having to daydream about Gabriel’s stupid perfect lips. Just the right kind of perfect to be kissed. Sam dragged his hand down his face and sighed. His stupid crush was, sadly, not going anywhere anytime soon.
He wasn't even sure how he’d gotten so attached to the dude that had all but tortured him for hundreds of Tuesdays straight. Maybe it was the self-sacrificing play. Nothing like a guy dying for you to get the heart start working double time to make your life misery.
And it was fine - it honestly was - when Gabriel wasn't alive and Sam could keep his attraction to guilty morning masturbation sessions and the occasional fantasy-like dream. But now, now Gabriel was living with them. He was only a few doors down the hall from where Sam was sitting right this very second and Sam had this stupid crush that he’d allowed to fester because it hadn't ever been in the realm of possibilities.
But he should've really expected the impossible to happen. He was a Winchester, his very existence was basically an impossibility.
So there Gabriel had been, banging down their door, bloody and looking like - well - hell. And Sam had hauled him inside and Cas had healed him up and Gabriel told them all about how he’d crawled his way out of hell, into purgatory and then out of purgatory onto Earth. Where he’d come to Sam. To them.
And he’d been elated, at first, but then he’d realised the problem. He liked Gabriel far more than anyone else in this damn bunker, that was for sure. Cas and Gabe had a rocky brother-type-bond and Dean and Gabe seemed to just kind of... ignore each other.
Gabriel had accepted Dean and Cas instantly so there was no issue with his stupid brother being happy with stupid Cas. Not that Sam was angry at either of them - he knew that - he was just jealous of their happy relationship.
He wanted that. With Gabe. Who was oblivious. Which was just unfair because he could read minds so why didn't he just go back to invading their privacy, finding out about Sam’s issues and letting them both avoid the awkward conversation that would occur if Sam ever decided it was worth it to tell Gabe about his... issue.
Which he wouldn't. Ever.
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Down the hall, in a bedroom owned by someone who would never have any real need for sleep, another person was having similar thoughts. Gabriel was sitting on the stupid bed he would never have any use for, in the stupid room he been given, in the stupid bunker he now lived in with the stupid man he had a stupid crush on.
He’d spent enough time around humans to recognise a crush. He’d even entertained a few before but this one had just... arrived and like a nasty part guest, it refused to leave. He had no clue what to do. On the one hand Sam was amazing and everything he could ever want and on the other... he was a screw-up and he didn't want to drag Sam into his mess of a life just because of his stupid emotions. So he would attempt to bear his heart hammering in his chest just watching Sam get some cereal in the morning or the guilt he felt when a spur of hatred rose up as he watched Dean lazily kiss Castiel as he made his morning coffee or as Cas stare at Dean with literal heart eyes as he did some mundane task like drink water or watch TV.
To be fair to Cas though, that was how Gabe felt every time Sam did literally anything.
There were a few times where Gabriel thought that maybe Sam had similar feelings for him. Like when he'd first arrived and Sam had this dopey looking grin plastered across his face once he knew that Gabriel was completely fine - asides from the mental-trauma of course.
Or when Gabriel had made Sam some coffee when he’d only just gotten up and his hair was all messy and his eyes still had bits of sleep in them and he just looked at Gabriel like he’d hung the moon.
It made his stomach go all tight and his legs go mushy thinking about those memories. For Dad’s sake, he was completely gone on this guy and Sam had no clue. Sam probably, definitely, didn't like him back so why was he wasting his time on this stupid crush that had no business even existing.