Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Do you have a map? Cause I’m getting lost in your eyes,” Lance coos to the gorgeous blue-haired alien in front of him. He smiles as she giggles in response. He hears a groan behind him and turns to see Keith rolling his eyes. Lance frowns and turns back to the alien, only to see she’s been called away by someone else.

“Thanks, mullethead. You’re scaring away all the ladies,” Lance complains.

“You sure it isn’t your terrible pick up lines?” Keith quips. The nerve.

Lance scoffs. “Whatever, Keith! My pick up lines are great!”

“I don’t think those lines would work on anyone, Lance.”

“Oh yeah!?” Lance asks irately.

“Yeah,” Keith deadpans.

“Wanna bet?”

“Not really,” Keith says and walks away. Anger and an intense need to prove himself wells up in Lance’s chest.

“Fine! I don’t need a bet! I’ll show you anyway, mullet brains!” he calls after Keith.

Lance kicks at the ground and scowls. How is he going to show Keith that his pick up lines work if he hasn’t had a date in months? Hot air rushes from him as he releases a heavy sigh. An idea sparks in his mind, but it’s crazy. So, so crazy. Lance bites his lip as he considers and turns the idea over in his head. It is crazy, but it might just work...

The best way to show Keith how effective his pick up lines are is to use them… on Keith.

Several days of deliberation pass before Lance has a chance to use his first line. Keith just radioed for him to come down to one of the castle corridors. Now is the perfect opportunity to lay one on him. Lance needs to be careful, though, because he doesn’t want Keith catching on too fast. That would ruin the effectiveness of the lines. He casually approaches Keith in the corridor where he’s hunched over an access panel.

“Well, Keith, here I am. Now, what are your other two wishes?” Lance says with a smile.

“What?” Keith’s face scrunches up in confusion as he looks at Lance.

“Because you wished for me, like with a genie,” Lance explains.

Keith still looks confused. “What are you talking about? I didn’t wish for you with a genie, Lance. I called you over the comms.”

Lance sighs. A total bust, scratch that one off the list. He’s going to have to use something more direct with Keith, it seems.

“Nevermind, Keith, What did you need?”

“You’re supposed to help me clean out the castle ducts as part of Coran’s maintenance schedule,” Keith says indignantly.

Lance groans. This is going to be an awful day.

— — —

“Are you a thief? Cause you just stole my heart,” Lance says, shooting finger guns in Keith’s direction.

Keith’s eyes dart over to Lance before he rolls them in an exaggerated display, an irritated frown fixed firmly on his face.

“What are you doing, Lance?” Keith asks.

Lance quirks his lips to the side and shrugs. Maybe that one was a bit too direct.

“Nothing. Just seeing what you thought of my newest pick up line. Well?” Lance says, hoping his excuse will cover his real intentions.

“I think it sucks,” Keith replies.

“Well, that’s rude! I worked hard on that one!”

“You worked on that?” Keith asks, incredulous.

“You know what? Shut your quiznak, Keith!”

“I still don’t think you’re using that right!” Keith’s voice chases him as he storms off down the hall.

Lance doesn’t try another line for several more days, but today he’s leaning against the wall outside the training deck. It’s team building day and Lance wants to try a new pick up line on Keith before they get started.

“What are you doing out here?” Keith asks, eyeing him has he approaches the training room door.

“Waiting for you. I wanted to ask you a question.”

“Alright?” Keith looks skeptical. Lance may not have been as subtle about these as he thought… oh well, too late to back out now.

“Do you know what my jacket is made out of?” he asks. Keith gives him a dry look, but Lance continues undeterred. “Boyfriend material.”

Keith stares at Lance, expressionless, before walking into the training room without saying a word. Another bust. Lance needs to come up with a better way to do this. He has good lines, maybe he just needs to deliver them better.

Just like before, he waits before using his next line. Keith seems to be wising up to his plan, so he waits a full two weeks. Today is the perfect day. They just came back from a mission the day before and the timing is ideal.

The doors swish open and Lance steps into the dining hall. Pidge, Hunk, and Allura are already seated and eating their breakfasts. Lance winces a bit at Allura’s presence, but he has something to prove. This time he has a plan. He’s been practicing his timing and delivery. He can’t just give up because it might be awkward. Keith is piling food onto his plate. He looks like he’s already been to the training deck for his morning workout. Lance picks up a plate of his own and takes in the spread of food.

“Hey Keith,” he greets cordially, “how’s your fever?”

The others look up at Keith in concern. Keith furrows his eyebrows.

“What fever?” he asks and Lance raises his gaze to lock with Keith’s.

“Oh,” Lance shrugs, “I thought you had one. I guess you’re just hot to me.”

Keith’s plate clatters to the floor and Lance smirks. He can hear the others setting down their forks. A pretty pink blush rises on Keith’s face. Without another word Lance finishes filling his plate, hands it to Keith and then grabs another. Keith is still frozen to his spot, wordless. Lance can feel everyone else’s eyes on him.

The door swishes open again.

“Morning, everyone!” Shiro chimes. “What’s going on this morning?”

“Nothing!” Keith shouts, his face darkening. He trudges stiffly to the table. Lance bites back a laugh. Shiro looks at him, confused.

“He just dropped his plate,” Lance offers and finds his own seat at the table. Lance grins to himself and ignores the curious looks from everyone else. This went so much better than the last few times.

After breakfast, Hunk follows him around and questions him relentlessly about what he said to Keith. Lance doesn’t say anything, though, just in case it somehow gets back to Keith. If Lance is going to prove that his pick up lines work, there has to be undeniable proof. Lance needs them to affect Keith more than once in order to win this bet and prove his point.

The next time Lance has an opportunity to use a line, he finds Keith in the kitchen. He’s chatting with Hunk and nibbling on whatever treat had been made earlier that day. It looks like cookies. Lance leans against the counter and listens in quietly. Keith’s gaze keeps drifting to him then darting away. It’s almost like he’s anxious about Lance being there… Now is as good a time as any to use his line. Remembering that delivery is everything, Lance hums.

“What?” Keith asks, nervously. Lance smiles softly at him.

“Your eyes are like the night sky, Keith, and I am lost in space.”

Keith shifts uncomfortably and frowns, but Lance swears he catches the hint of a blush dusting his cheeks. Hunk shoots him a confused look, but Lance ignores it. He snatches up a few cookies and turns to leave.

“Well, I have to get going. Work to do and all,” Lance says and backs out of the room, throwing one more smile in Keith’s direction.

Lance chuckles. He’s figured out what lines work on Keith.

— — —

The team is gathered around the control room, discussing an upcoming celebration with the coalition when Lance’s next opportunity presents itself.

“Are there movie theaters on this planet?” Lance asks, “because I think it’d be fun to go.”

“I’m not sure what a movie theater is, Lance,” Allura says, “but I don’t think they do. This planet has been ravaged by the Galra. They don’t have many amenities.”

Lance glances over at Keith. “Oh well. They probably wouldn’t let us in anyway if they did, since Keith is such a snack.”

Keith pulls in a sharp breath and his face colors.

“Alright.” Shiro’s voice slices through the sudden silence. “All… interesting comments aside,” he says, eyeing Lance quizzically, “they’re expecting us in an hour, so go get ready.”

Lance files out of the room behind Hunk and Pidge, Keith trailing further behind. Lance feels amazing. He knew his pick up lines worked! The proof has been written all over Keith’s face!

“Hey, Lance,” Keith calls. Lance leans against the wall and throws Keith a cocky, gloating smirk. Keith places his hand on the wall beside Lance’s head and leans in close.

Lance’s heart kicks into overdrive in his chest. He’s not sure if it’s from anxiety, or arousal. After all, Keith is just as likely to threaten him right now as he is to do anything else. Either way, the close proximity is having an effect.

Keith’s hot breath brushes over his ear. “Is there a phone in your back pocket, Lance?” Keith’s voice is pitched low and sultry. “Cause that ass is calling me.”

Lance’s entire face flushes and he swallows thickly. He feels like he’s been dunked in lava. Keith takes a step back a runs his eyes over him, slowly, from head to toe. Lance could combust on the spot, simply burst into flames at any moment. He’s convinced he does when Keith’s gaze locks with his and a slow sensual smile curves Keith’s lips.

Then Keith is walking away like nothing happened. Like he didn’t just say something super sexual and now Lance is left standing here, trying to remember how his lungs work, and eternally grateful that his jacket covers the growing situation in his jeans.

This is a turn of events Lance had never anticipated, but if Keith wants to play that game, then Lance will too. He can’t let Keith beat him, after all, not when it comes to the art of seduction. Once again, Lance adjusts his plan and waits for the perfect opportunity. Keith is never gonna know what hit him.

Lance doesn’t have to wait long because the next day he spots Keith heading to the training deck for his usual sparing time. He swiftly closes the distance between them and slips his hand into Keith’s, interlocking their fingers. Keith stops dead in his tracks.

“What are you doing?” he asks, flustered. He tries to pull his hand away, but Lance keeps a firm grip.

“Your hand looked heavy, I thought I’d help you carry it.” Lance grins. “You going to the training deck?”

“Maybe.” Keith bites. “Can I have my hand back?” He tries to pull his hand free again and Lance lets him.

“Mind if I join you?”

Keith shifts uncomfortably, like he’s trying to shake something off. He doesn’t say anything, though, so Lance follows him. Keith calls up a training sequence and they both take up defensive positions. After three waves Keith stops and wipes his brow.

“It’s not usually this hot in here,” he says, “it must be you.”

Lance was expecting something; he could see Keith trying to think of something to say. He has to admit, it’s a good line, but he’s ready for it.

Lance chuckles. “I may heat up this room, but if you were in my bed, I wouldn’t need any blankets…” he looks Keith in the eye, “or clothes.”

Keith’s eyes widen and he stumbles around for something to say. Lance gives him a second then laughs loudly. It was about time for him to leave, anyway.

“You’re such a tight ass, Keith,” Lance claps Keith on the shoulder, then leans in to whisper in his ear. “You should let me loosen it up for you.”

Lance leaves Keith where he stands - stunned in the middle of the training room floor.

— — —

It’s late when Lance leaves his room. He hasn’t seen much of Keith since that time on the training deck a few days ago. The poor guy is probably avoiding him. He shouldn’t have entered into this bet if he wasn’t ready for it!

Lance’s stomach growls and he makes his way to the kitchen. Keith is sitting at the counter, finishing up a piece of toast as Lance walks in.

“Looking for something to eat?” Keith asks, then grins. “Cause I could have something for you.”

Lance blinks, but quickly collects himself. This is war, after all.

“I grew up on a farm with chickens, Keith, I know how to handle cocks.” Keith sucks on his teeth and gets up to put his dish in the sink. Lance decides to step it up a notch. “I’d like it better if you were a painting anyway, cause then I could nail you on the wall.”

Keith turns to him and smiles softly. “You could do that now.” It’s low and sweet, barely above a whisper, and Lance is suddenly very warm.

Keith’s eyes don’t leave him until the door closes and Lance is left feeling like he’s been dunked in water; and like he might have a completely different appetite. This could be a problem. Keith is getting smoother; and he can come up with some pretty good lines, especially when they’re alone, but if Lance really wants to win this war he needs to up his game. Which means he needs to drop his lines when they’re around everyone else.

Dinner the next day arrives quickly. Everyone is seated around the table and digging into their food. This is the perfect time. It’s now or never.

“You know, Keith, I’m really jealous of your clothes,” Lance says casually. Everyone but Keith looks at Lance with quizzical expressions. Keith stares him down with hard eyes and Lance can’t help the small upward curve of his lips. “They’re all over you and I’m not.”

The faces around them morph into surprise, but Keith doesn’t miss a beat.

“Yeah, well. My dick just died, can I bury it in your-”

“KEITH!” Shiro cuts him off, eyes wide and face set in shock.

All attention is now on Keith, who’s suddenly looking down at the table, face pained and cheeks tinged slightly pink. Lance’s face is on fire. It must be the color of a tomato with how hard he’s blushing. Never in a million years would he have expected Keith to say something like that in front of everyone else. But two can play that game… Despite his intense blush, Lance smirks.

“You must be my favorite roller coaster. Cause I’d ride you all day long,” Lance says with as much cocky bravado as he can muster. Keith looks up at him in surprise. His cheeks darken to a lovely shade of red.

Everything else fades away that moment Lance locks eyes with Keith. The atmosphere has shifted between them, there’s no denying it. Every other time they’ve sparred like this they’ve been alone, and someone has always left the room after the best line has been delivered. This time is different, there’s no leaving. There’s no reprieve. Something stirs in Lance’s chest at the way Keith looks at him, at the disbelief and… hope... in his eyes.

Keith is pulled out of his chair by Shiro and dragged over to a corner of the room. The others are asking Lance questions, but none of them register. He just watches as Shiro gives Keith a stern lecture. Keith keeps glancing in his direction and that feeling in Lance’s chest grows stronger, like a tingling warmth. What if Lance doesn’t want it to be a game anymore, or a war? What if... he actually likes flirting with Keith?

He stares at Shiro as he continues to lecture Keith, his face the picture of disappointment and Keith’s the picture of guilt. What if this is the end of it?

Lance doesn’t want it to end.

He doesn’t wait to find out. He gets up from his seat and leaves the room.

“Lance!” Keith calls from behind him.

Lance’s heart squeezes in his chest and he bites his lip. If there was ever a time to make a move, this would certainly be it. Keith has given him signs, right? Either way, it’s gotta be worth the risk. Slim fingers curl around his arm. It’s now or never.

Lance spins and grabs Keith’s face between his hands, kissing him firmly on the mouth. His lips are warm and soft. Lance can feel his surprise; but then, Keith leans into the kiss and pushes Lance back against the wall. Cool fingers find their way under Lance’s shirt and run across the heated skin of his stomach. It feels so good, like being energized and like relaxing on a hot summer’s day all wrapped into one.

Lance melts under Keith’s touch. He hums as Keith’s tongue slides past his lips and into his mouth. Keith pulls away, leaving Lance to chase after him. Keith’s eyes are desperate and full of longing as they study Lance’s face. They’re both breathing hard, and Lance has to fight the urge to capture Keith’s lips again.

“Do you actually like me?” Keith asks, his voice soft and timid.

Lance smiles and nods. “Yeah.” He can hardly contain his grin. “Yeah, I do.”

Keith lets out a shaky breath and connects their lips again in a needy kiss.

“I like you, too,” Keith says. Lance is giddy as Keith presses their foreheads together gently. Keith’s smile is as bright as the sun, and Lance’s heart soars. He tilts his chin up and kisses Keith, long and slow.

“So I guess my pick up lines work, huh?” Lance asks cheekily.

“Shut up,” Keith laughs and pulls him in again.