Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

[ sstayingwhelmed added fasterthansonic, Superboy, Aqualad, M'gann, Artemis, and Speedy to justice league but better ]

        Speedy: No.

[ Speedy left justice league but better ]

        sstayingwhelmed: whats up fuckers

        sstayingwhelmed: wow.

        sstayingwhlemed: betrayed in my own HOME.

        fasterthansonic: f.

        fasterthansonic: are all archers moody as hell?

        Artemis: rip to him but im different

[ Artemis changed their name to (not)straightarrow ]

[ sstayingwhelmed changed (not)straightarrow 's name to gayarrow ]

        sstayingwhelmed: i am the Only one with name Rights

        gayarrow: wow okay dick

        sstayingwhelmed: wh

fasterthansonic >> sstayingwhemed

        fasterthansonic: UHMMMMMM?????

        fasterthansonic: I THOUGHT YOU SAID SHE DIDN'T KNOW.

        sstayingwhelmed: SHE DOESNT??????

        fasterthansonic: THEN WHY IS SHE CALLING YOU DICK

        sstayingwhelmed: IDK??????????

justice league but better

        M'gann: Oh! What is this?

        sstayingwhelmed: basically,

[ sstayingwhelmed changed their name to nicknamerights ]

        nicknamerights: its a chat where we can talk while we’re apart!

        nicknamerights: sorry i got a good name and i didnt wanna forget lol

        M’gann: Oh! That makes sense. A good idea, Robin!

        nicknamerights: why thank you, i came up with it myself!

[ M’gann changed their name to Megan ]

        Megan: is it okay if i have my name be this? i think it fits…

        nicknamerights: of course, m’gann !

        gayarrow: asshole.

        Aqualad: Language.

        nicknamerights: english!

        gayarrow: english.

        nicknamerights: >:o

        nicknamerights: dont steal my fuckin jokes 

        nicknamerights: ur on thin ice

        fasterthansonic: bro he always uses that one on The Big B ( the big bitch )

        nicknamerights: WALLY

        fasterthansonic: im right.

        gayarrow: how about YOU dont steal MY jokes

        nicknamerights: smfh.

[ nicknamerights changed gayarrow 's name to jokethief ]

[ nicknamerights changed Aqualad 's name to waterdad ]

        waterdad: what does this mean

        nicknamerights: when u told us not to say the naughty words u became the team's dad

        nicknamerights: sorry i dont make the rules :/

        Superboy: Why the FUCK does my phone keep going off. What the hell is this.

        nicknamerights: superboy! you're here!

        Superboy: Who are you.

        nicknamerights: its robin!! you really cant recognize ur bro... ur dudebro... ur bro in arms.. im hurt

        nicknamerights: its been ten mins. im hurt. im dying. im dying and wally gets the robin name. tell batbitch that i stole his ice cream on thursday.

        waterdad: That is no way to speak about Batman, Robin.

        nicknamerights: to be fair,

        jokethief: you know you’re supposed to finish if you say to be fair, right?

        jokethief: ignoring me? okay fucking fine.

justice league but better

        nicknamerights: lol sorry said batbitch wanted to go on patrol and i got stabbed

        fasterthansonic: what the fuck are you okay???

        nicknamerights: yeah im fine!

        nicknamerights: anyway,

[ nicknamerights changed Superboy ‘s name to angerchild ]

[ nicknamerights changed Megan ‘s name to outtathisworld ]

        fasterthansonic: woah woah woah you just cant move topics like that

        nicknamerights: can and will

        nicknamerights: @outtathisworld hey do u like ur name lol

        outtathisworld: Oh!

        angerchild: what the fuck

        outtathisworld: While I am grateful for the new name, I am worried, Robin are you okay?

        nicknamerights: ive had worse dont even worry lol

several people are typing…

justice league but better

        nicknamerights: once you take away the actual superheroes behind the justice league, you get left with… just ice.

        nicknamerights: therefore i proclaim all the villians could just chill the fuck out.

        waterdad: While I appreciate the joke, it is two in the morning. You should be asleep.

        nicknamerights: lol

        waterdad: And, again, language.

        nicknamerights: lol.

        waterdad: Go to bed, Robin.

justice league but better

        nicknamerights: so i was thinking

        nicknamerights: which is a bad idea

        nicknamerights: anyway

        nicknamerights: fuckin, trees, man

        nicknamerights: funky lil fuckers

        nicknamerights: they just ?? grow??? and produce oxygen?? like damn rip that other tree that got chopped down but im different

        nicknamerights: imagine being a fucking tree and then some little human is just takin swings at ur knees. fuckin wild.

        nicknamerights: anyway,

justice league but better

        nicknamerights: birds are fucckn annoying

        nicknamerights: its only four go away u little bastards

        nicknamerights: i for one dont go outside and scream when i wake up

        nicknamerights: but, that does give me a good ass fuckin idea

        nicknamerights: b wont know whats comin lol

justice league but better

        nicknamerights: hlpe im fuckin stuck to the ceilinggdfgdfgh

justice league but better

        fasterthansonic: robin what the actual, everloving, fuck,

Chapter Text

the justice league but better

        THEwallman: this is it. this is how i die`

        THEwallman: rob gets my pokemon card collection

        THEwallman: im dying.

        nicknamerights: bro...bro whats wrong

        THEwallman: i ate... a mushy apple...bro... im fuckign dyign

        nicknamerights: u interrupt me...during patrol...for a mushy apple.

        THEwallman: IM DYING

        nicknamerights: you will be when i

        nicknamerights: This is Batman. Do not text Robin on patrol.

        THEwallman: o shit

        THEwallman: batman fuckgn killed him

the justice league but better

        artemis: wally oh my fucking god

        THEwallman: ITS NOT MY FAULT

        artemis: HES DEAD AND U KILLED HIM

[ nicknamerights changed their name to ilived ]

        ilived: , bitch.

        THEwallman: ROB!!!

        ilived: bats is mad but he loves me and cant stay mad at me

        ilived: just cant have my phone on patrol anymore :pensive:

        artemis: whyd you type that out.

        ilived: why not lol

        THEwallman: how do yall communicate then

        ilived: what, you think batman calls me up?

        ilived: "ring ring bitch, jokers downtown." ???

        THEwallman: well, no, but

        ilived: walls ily but

artemis >> ilived

        artemis: thats gay

        ilived: shut the fuck youre up

        artemis: :)

the justice league but better

        THEwallman: bro...

        ilived: bro...!!

        THEwallman: BRO

        ilived: BRO

        artemis: shut the actual fuck up

        ilived: >:(

[ ilived changed artemis 's name to homophobic ]

        homophobic: bitch, im a lesbian

        ilived: DOESNT MEAN YOU CANT BE HOMOPHOBIC.

        homophobic: im going to kill you.

        ilived: do it, bitch.

        THEwallman: o shit. im gay.

homophobic >> ilived

        homophobic: i TOLD you

        ilived: shut up.

        homophobic: go after him, gay bird

        ilived: first of all, im bi

                [ read 2:24 ]

        homophobic: second of all...?

        ilived: thats is. thats the post.

        homophobic: i stg.

the justice league but better

        ilived: hell yeah

        ilived: bi squad stand up !

        outtathisworld: stand up!

THEwallman >> homophobic

        THEwallman: DFGFGHFGH

        homophobic: [ stares into the camera ]

        homophobic: what did i say?

        THEwallman: shut up.

        homophobic: [ STARES INTO THE CAMERA ]

        THEwallman: i hate you.

the justice league but better

        ilived: have you just been lurking?

        outtathisworld: nope! just saw bi squad and appeared!

        outtathisworld: @conner what are you?

        conner: you already know.

        outtathisworld: well!! the team doesnt know!

        conner: oh. im ace.

        outtathisworld: ace squad <3

        THEwallman: ....trans squad rise up...

        ilived: TRANS SQUAD RISE UP!!!!!

        THEwallman: fuck YEAHHH

[ ilived added outtathisworld, waterdad, homophobic, and redarrow to im so gay it hurts ]

        ilived: lays in wet grass

        ilived: im literally dying

        outtathisworld: why isnt wally in this group? why do we need another group?

        outtathisworld: ...OH!

        outtathisworld: hello, megan!

        outtathisworld: you like wally!

        ilived: mayhaps.

        outtathisworld: we have to get you two together

        ilived: ohh my goddd nooo

        red arrow: what the fuck

        ilived: im gay for wally and needed to scream

        redarrow: ha. gay.

        waterdad: dearest,

        redarrow: fuck.

        ilived: ha. gay.

[ ilived changed redarrows 's name to deadbeatdad ]

        ilived: i cant believe roy ABANDONED US.

        ilived: his own FAMILY!!!

        deadbeatdad: excuse me.

        ilived: u and kaldur are our dads.

        deadbeatdad: i didnt agree to this.

[ ilived added deadbeatdad to the justice league but better ]

        ilived: roy ur legally obligated to stay.

        deadbeatdad: no.

        deadbeatdad: wait. what did you do.

        ilived: i made this app, bitch.

        deadbeatdad: fuck you.

        ilived: You Dont Have Those Rights!

        homophobic: who does?

        ilived: do you Wish to incur the Wrath of the Robin.

        homophobic: Who Has Those Rights, Robin?

        ilived: :).

        THEwallman: does someone have those rights

        ilived: mayhaps.

homophobic >> ilived

        homophobic: WHAT DID U DO

        ilived: ur in time out.

        homophobic: i hate you.

the justice league but better

        THEwallman: BRO... WHO.

        ilived: no.

        THEwallman: oh come on... u like someone and ur not going to tell me?? bro...

        ilived: no.

im so gay it hurts        

        ilived: breaking news: im a dumbass. more after the weather.

Chapter Text

the justice league but better

        wonderbread: and so i said thats not a monkey thats a horse

        waterdad: Robin, what are you talking about?

        stinky: robin what the actual fuck

        stinky: wait why the fuck is my name stinky

        wonderbread: :) 

        wonderbread: it be like that sometimes arty :)

        stinky: you hoe

        wonderbread: insulted!!! in my own home????

        waterdad: Please, do not fight.

        wonderbread: its okay kaldur, arty loovess me

        stinky: i hate you with every fibre of my being.

        wonderbread: see! she loves me

        irlsonic: then why is the “horse” eating a banana???

        wonderbread: dont discriminate!!!! horses can eat bananas too >:((

        irlsonic: but its on two legs!!!

        wonderbread: the horse is standing!!!!

        stinky: what the fuck are yall talking about

        irlsonic: idk im just going with it

        stinky: dont fucking encourage him

        irlsonic: but what kinda bro would i be if i didnt :(((

        wonderbread: yeah!!! hes my broest bro

        irlsonic: bro…….

        wonderbread: bro………

stinky >> wonderbread

        stinky: ha. gay

        wonderbread: shut the fuck your up!!!!!!

the justice league but better

        wonderbread: youll never believe what wally just did

        irlsonic: noooooo

        wonderbread: so we are hanging out.

        irlsonic: noooo!!!

        stinky: tell us tell us tell us

        wonderbread: and i tell him to run downstairs and get us some snacks

        irlsonic: i beg of you

        wonderbread: and he gets SO excited that he gets up and

        wonderbread: literally rams himself into a fucking wall

        irlsonic: why…. i thought you loved me

        wonderbread: i do love u bro… but i gotta share your dumbassery

        wonderbread: speedsters be like are dumbasses

        irlsonic: HEY the flash is not a dumbass

        wonderbread: he had a bet with green arrow about how many hot dogs he could fit in his mouth at once

        irlsonic: so??? thats brilliant

        stinky: youll never get through to him. his dumbass is too thick

        irlsonic: :(

wonderbread >> irlsonic

        wonderbread: are we taking it too far? are you okay?

        irlsonic: yeah i just

        irlsonic: idk i feel like the team just thinks im a big dumbass and nothing more. idk.

        wonderbread: hey we dont think that about you. we love you dude. youre essential to our team and you hold us all together

        wonderbread: youre the peanut butter to our jelly, man

        irlsonic: hfghfgkhd

        irlsonic: if you say so

        wonderbread: i know so

        wonderbread: is it fine if i tell the others how youre feeling

        irlsonic: yeah

im so gay it hurts

        wonderbread: hey guys can we all lay off the stupid jokes towards wally for a bit

        stinky: did something happen?

        wonderbread: hes just a little down because he thinks we all think he’s just stupid and nothing more so please lay off for a bit

        wonderbread: not that i had nothing to do with it but

        wonderbread: yeah.

        stinky: okay

stinky >> irlsonic

        stinky: im sorry. are you alright?

        irlsonic: im okay! just a little down about it but i like being the peanut butter

        stinky: oookay.

Chapter Text

justice league but better

[ irl sonic changed their name to assigned fast at birth ]

        assigned fast at birth : so rob gave me nickname rights >:)

         stinky : wow.

homophobic >> gremlin

        stinky : so. you gave wally nickname rights.

        gremlin : shut up. shut up.

        stinky : ha. gay.

justice league but better

        gremlin : walls, your name would still be afab

        assigned fast at birth : oh.

[ assigned fast at birth changed their name to assigned speed at birth ]

        gremlin : better

the justice league but better

        gremlin : nothing is happening !! someone end this BOREDOM!!

[ conner changed their name to superboy ]

        superboy : i hate that fucking name

        gremlin : are you okay?

        superboy : no.

[ superboy has left justice league but better ]

        gremlin : @outta this world can you talk to him ?

        outta this world : no.

        gremlin : o

        assigned speed at birth : i got it

        gremlin : thanks babe

        assigned speed at birth : youre welcome babe

        stinky : BABE????

        assigned speed at birth : ya

stinky >> gremlin

        stinky : ARE YALL TOGETHeR??

        gremlin : ,,,

        stinky : robin.

        gremlin : no

        stinky : robin…

        gremlin : its fine lol

        stinky : its not… you need to tell him

                [ read ]

        stinky : robin..

                [ read ]

justice league but better

        assigned speed at birth : i talked to superboy and he said it was okay to post this here

        assigned speed at birth : he and m’gann broke up and he also got into a fight with superman, so he doesnt want to be called conner

        gremlin : @everyone dont call superboy by the name ‘conner’, it makes him upset

[ gremlin pinned a message to this channel ]

        gremlin : does he want to be added back?

        assigned speed at birth : not yet

        gremlin : gotcha

        gremlin : thanks for checking up on him for me while im stuck in gotham

        stinky : why are you stuck in gotham

        gremlin : i got injured on patrol so im benched and under agent a’s watchful eye

        gremlin : agent a is scarier than batman himself.

        assigned speed at birth : he is.

        stinky : you’ve met agent a???

        assigned speed at birth : ive been to rob’s house

        stinky : What

        gremlin : wally knows Who I Am

        stinky : oh shit!!!!

gremlin >> stinky

        gremlin : i can hear you typing already

        stinky : u right.

        stinky : fucking gay.

Chapter Text

the justice league but better
        gremlin: jason i swear to god if you are the one who put glitter in my room i AM going to kill you. b may have qualms against killing but i Do not and i know where you sleep
        stinky: jason?
        sonicirl: he did what now?
        outta this world: jason?
        gremlin: oh sorry wrong chat

batfam [not] (jason stop changing the name) [no]
        gremlin: jason i swear to whatever higher being there may or may not be if you are the culprit behind the glitter bomb there will be No end to my Fury
        Batman: Robin. Do not. Threaten your brother.
        gremlin: HE PUT A GLITTER BOMB IN MY ROOM, B!!       
        Batman: Jason.
        
[ gremlin changed tirethief 's nickname to heathen of the highest degree ]

        heathen of the highest degree: lol
        gremlin: you better clean it up 
        heathen of the highest degree: what if i dont
        Batman: Jason. You are to clean all of the glitter out of Robin's room.
        heathen of the highest degree: awww. you stuck ur dad on me.
        gremlin: our*
        heathen of the highest degree: [that fuckin communism song plays]
        Agent A: Language, Master Jason.
        
the justice league but better
        gremlin: i got home and found this
                [ attached: a photo of dick's room, covered in rainbow glitter. ]
        gremlin: jason is a friend of mine
        sonicirl: you have friends other than me??
        gremlin: i can and will end you right here and now.
        sonicirl: aww you know you love me.

gremlin >> sonicirl
        gremin: ...i do love you.
        gremlin: like. i am in love with you
        sonicirl: W

sonicirl >> stinky
        sonicirl: HELPLPLPLP?????????
        stinky: what? 
        sonicirl: ROB JK UST??? HE LOVES M E??????
        stinky: oblivious. assholes.
        sonicirl: YOU KNEW??? YOU KNEW/???
        stinky: duh? everyone knows

stinky >> gremlin
        stinky: FINALLY.
        gremlin: i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the studio today.

gremlin >> sonicirl
        gremlin: uhhh... walls?
        gremin: if you dont like me back thats fine just ignore i said that..
        sonicirl: SHIT UH. I LOVE YOU TOO DICK.
        gremlin: wait. really?
        sonicirl: YEAH???? DUDE IVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU
        gremlin: a????
        sonicirl: yeah....
        gremlin: i.......... me too walls, me too
        sonicirl: DFSFGHSFGH???
        
the justice league but better
        stinky: get a room, you two.
                [ attached: image of wally and dick kissing in the mount justice hq kitchen ]

im so gay it hurts
        [ stinky has added sonicirl to im so gay it hurts ]
        gremlin: ARTY NOOO. WHY WOULD YOU DO D THIS OT ME O HMHM FFGDKGSFHFGH
        sonicirl: DSFGHSFGHSFGHFG????????????
        stinky:  💅

the justice league but better
        stinky: @sonicirl @gremlin
        stinky: wally you better fucking explain before i beat your ass myself.
                        [ attached: image of a newspaper article. the headline is "billionaire's ward dick grayson is in a relationship with the superhero kid flash??" there was a photo of kid flash kissing dick on the cheek.]
        stinky: i cant fucking believe this!!
        stinky: @sonicirl
        stinky: @sonicirl 
        deadbeat dad: @sonicirl what the fuck dude ive known you forever. you would never
        sonicirl: oh
        sonicirl: uhm
        sonicirl: @gremlin rob help
        stinky: explain now.
        gremlin: o

sonicirl >> gremlin
        sonicirl: WHAT DO WE DO?????????????
        gremlin: batman is going to HAVE MY HE A D
        sonicirl: AAA???
        gremlin: AAAAA.
        gremlin: ok look just go with what im saying

the justice league but better
        stinky: @sonicirl  @gremlin
        stinky: its been like 10 minutes
        gremlin: we're polyam
        gremlin: so
        gremlin: i already knew abt wally and dick
        gremlin: its no biggie
        stinky: the both of you. are dating richard grayson.
        sonicirl: yup !!! we just didnt want to tell you all just incase it was weird or anything haha
        gremlin: and to protect dick
        water dad: I do not see it as strange. In Atlantis, non monogamous relationships are quite common.
        stinky: anywone wanna tell me why batman is at the cave. its not a meeting day and he didnt tell us beforehand.
        gremlin: oh shit
        gremlin: GOTTA BLAST
        gremlin: wally if u know whats good for u. meet me at The Normal Location nd dont bring ur hpone
        gremlin: love you <3
        sonicirl: gotta fuckin go <3
        stinky: so anyone wanna tell me what just happened
                [ read 3:33 ]
        stinky: no?
                [ read 3:47 ]