Archive of Our Own ^beta

Lee Felix was absolutely certain of four things:

1. Bang Chan, Seo Changbin and Han Jisung were his best friends
2. He’d never get a boyfriend
3. Even though Bang Chan, Seo Changbin and Han Jisung now all had boyfriends of their own, he wasn’t going to stop being best friends with them in some fit of petty, jealous rage. He’d just have to accept his eternal singleness with grace and a strained smile in the face of all the friendly teasing.
4. And maybe Chan, Changbin and Jisung’s boyfriends were kinda cool

Chan and Felix had always been his best friends. They’d known each other since Australia and, even when a literal ocean separated them, they still stayed in firm contact.

Felix was the one who encouraged Chan to audition for JYP, and the one to pick up the squealing and tearful phone-call when Chan got in. It really was an honour, watching Chan grow into a self-producing rapper and vocalist who made fast friends in the company, particularly with an odd pair of boys who were undoubtedly over-brimming with talent.

That was when Chan introduced Felix to Jisung and they’d fangirled together over their similar birthdays, and when Changbin also decided to interrupt their facetime call to fangirl over Felix’s deep voice.

Things hadn’t been the same since and they were all thankful for it. They were an inseparable and remarkable group; a breath-taking rap trio and their powerful dancer friend who was frantically trying to save up the funds to join them.

Felix flew to Korea literally the day before 3racha’s debut, sprinting out the airport and rushing through Seoul to be snuck into the dorms just in time for the launch. There were a lot of tears, both at the final meeting between the four of them and at the success 3racha’s video received. It became a several-hours-long celebration and a day they would never forget.

But then… things changed.

It started with the arrival of Kim Seungmin. A young, feisty, extremely intelligent photographer who Changbin instantly tried to capture with his aegyo. Seungmin almost slapped him in retaliation and the two were a perfect match, an unlikely but somehow loveable couple who were clearly whipped for each other.

And then there was Chan.

Chan found himself falling for several people in the company, boys and girls who he went on various dates with. He was always on some kind of date, but he never found himself in a committed relationship. However, he didn’t seem to need one. Everyone knew that Chan was Chan; a talented and wonderful leader who had every aspect of his life together.

He didn’t need a love life, everyone respected and envied him no matter what.

That left Felix and Jisung.

The two were self-proclaimed soulmates, with their similar birthdays, their similar senses of humour and their similar habit of always getting into mischief. But soon Jisung started hanging with a cheerful, red-haired trainee with trouble sparkling in his eyes, and then Felix caught them making out and Jisung wasn’t able to stutter out a lie through his blush.

That was the day Felix met Jeongin.

Felix couldn’t deny that it was cute, even though he’d hoped Jisung would be the one to step up and take the title of eternally single friend. But Felix took it in his stride, congratulating all his friends and making an effort to spend time with their new boyfriends. He couldn’t stay mad at them for long, especially when he found out just how hilarious and sweet Seungmin and Jeongin were.

However, Felix soon began pining for his own boyfriend and, much to his terror, the others were all too happy to help him out.

Felix started going on regular dates, he was a reasonably pretty guy with a beautiful smile and so, with Chan’s flirting tips, Felix found it relatively easy finding guys who were willing to take him out. What wasn’t easy, however, was finding a guy who would stick around.

Some of the dates just weren’t romantic, some of the guys were nice but not what Felix was looking for, and sometimes Felix just wasn’t what the guys were looking for. Some of them went well but just never went anywhere afterwards, sometimes Felix was stood up, and one time Felix found a guy who was perfect, kind and asked Felix to be his boyfriend after a month, only to cheat on him the next day.

Felix had a hard time holding back all his friends from committing murder after that fiasco.

Felix decided to give up after that. He followed the advice of Chan and instead readied his audition for JYP and made the decision that it was time for him to focus on his career instead. Ironically, that was when Mr Perfect really did come along.

Or so Felix thought.

Alex was amazing at first. He was Korean-American and spoke fluent English, just like Felix, which led to some hilarious and barely understandable conversations mixing American and Australian slang that even Chan struggled to keep up with.

As well as that, Alex was also cute, friendly, romantic, funny and all the other things Felix could dream for in a man. It really wasn’t long before the two were boyfriends, and Felix was relieved to find that all his friends loved Alex as well.

Which only made it weirder when cracks started to show in their relationship. It was only little things at first; Alex getting antsy when Felix hung out too long with the others, yelling at Felix when he didn’t answer his phone, straight-up ignoring him when Felix forgot something considered important.

It only spiralled after that. Alex was regularly barging his way into Felix’s apartment, going through his phone, limiting the time Felix was allowed outside, dictating which friends Felix was and wasn’t allowed to hang out with. Every aspect of Felix’s life was controlled by Alex, every minute of every day was dictated by him.

And then there was the yelling… Alex was always yelling, yelling, yelling. He screamed in Felix’s face and spat on his tears and squeezed his wrists and shouted about how he wouldn’t have to do any of this if Felix was a better boyfriend. And Felix believed him… believed him because there was nothing else he could believe. He lost all his friends, stopping talking to 3racha and everyone else, didn’t attend his audition at the company, and it still wasn’t enough to make Alex happy. It still wasn’t enough to make Felix a good boyfriend.

But, fortunately, it was enough to alert the others that something was wrong.

When Jisung’s infinite call to Felix was answered by Alex for what was probably the twentieth time, and when Seungmin’s begs to use Felix for a photoshoot were constantly denied, and when Felix failed to show up at the audition he’d spent weeks preparing for, they all realised that something desperately needed to be done.

Felix didn’t remember a lot about the day he was rescued. There was just a lot of knocking, a whole array of angry voices and Chan and Changbin all storming into the room and losing it to the sight of a yelling Alex keeping Felix pinned to the wall.

They pulled Alex away, carried Felix out, showered him with love, took legal action against Alex and promised Felix that they would always be there for him.

And that was when Felix decided he didn’t need a boyfriend if he had all his amazing friends.

But he couldn’t deny that, sometimes, his friends were absolutely infuriating.

“Coooooome oooooooonnnnnnn, Lixxxxxxxxxxiiiiiieeeee,” Chan whined in Felix’s ear, wrapping his arms around Felix from behind and keeping him pinned to the counter Felix was trying to cook on, “It’ll be fuuuuuun.”

“I’m sure it will, hyung,” Felix said with a small huff, “But like I said, I’m job-hunting this afternoon and I’ll probably stay out until the evening. If that makes a place more likely to give me night shifts, then I’m going to take it.”

Felix could feel Chan pouting at him over his shoulder, obviously wanting to say something but holding back on it. Ever since Alex had made him miss his audition, Felix had been searching for a job to help him back on his feet. He’d been forced to sell his old apartment because of Alex and he’d been unemployed for so long that he was desperate to find somewhere that would hire him.

In the meantime, Seungmin had offered Felix a place to stay with him. It was a nice place to be, and definitely better than the apartment Alex had always forced his way into, but Felix couldn’t help but feel like a burden (and a major third wheel because Seungmin often had Changbin round and they were disgustingly cute).

So, Felix needed to move out, and to move out he needed a job, which meant he needed to go job hunting.

“But Lix,” Chan’s whiny voice was adorable, and obviously unable to be held back any longer, “You can go job-hunting tomorrow. We haven’t had a movie night with all of us for so long.”

“I know,” Felix sighed, “But if I’m not there, you and the guy you've got coming and all the others will be able to cuddle in your couples without someone having to take pity and include me.”

“No one takes pity on you, Lix,” Chan said sincerely, poking his head further round Felix’s shoulder to try and catch his eyes, “We’re all happy to include you. Please don’t feel excluded, we’ll be happy to have you there.”

Felix couldn’t deny that the words made him feel good, made him feel wanted in a way he hadn’t in so long, made him feel loved in the way he craved. But it wasn’t in the way he wanted, wasn’t in the way that had kept him in the arms of Alex for so long despite knowing how wrong it all was.

The movie night would be full of couples, and Felix was yet to admit just how much that made his chest hurt.

But then Chan was turning him around and pulling Felix’s face into his chest and holding him tightly just how he knew Felix needed.

“We want you there, Pixie,” Chan soothed quietly, “And one day you’ll find the right boy to bring along to these nights, to cuddle with yourself. But in the meantime, we’re happy to step in and help. We love you.”

Warmth bloomed lovingly in Felix’s chest, a gentle feeling of comfort blanketing his skin, “Thanks hyung,” he whispered, sighing contently when Chan squeezed him harder.

They stayed like that for a few moments, tender arms looping round one another as they basked in the moment, smiling when a warm voice filled the kitchen.

“Awww, my almost favourite boys,” Seungmin cooed, features softening when Felix poked his forehead out from Chan’s chest and Seungmin used large fingers to brush some hair away from his eyes, “You’re making me wish Changbin-hyung was here.”

“Sorry babe,” Chan said with a grin, turning to press a small kiss to Seungmin’s cheek.

Seungmin squawked, batting Chan's hand away before hesitantly joining in the hug to lean into Felix for a couple of seconds before they all pulled away, “There’ll be plenty more of that tonight.”

“Yeah, I was just telling Felix,” Chan said with a small poke to Felix’s shoulder.

“And, good news!” Seungmin suddenly trilled, giggling slightly at Felix’s surprised face, “Channie-hyung, remember those two dancers we met at the studio a couple of weeks ago?”

Chan’s face tightened in confusion for a moment before he lit up, “Oh yeah! The couple? Hyunjin and Minho, right?”

“Those are the ones,” Seungmin nodded, “Well, I just got off the phone with Minho-hyung, and him and Hyunjin are going to come. They said they’re really excited.”

Chan’s face broke into a grin, features practically glowing as he clapped, him and Seungmin exchanging fast, excited words as Felix’s heart dropped. Another couple? Dancers? People who didn’t know Felix but knew his friends and would judge him for being the only single, unemployed one?

Felix couldn’t bear the thought of being judged by them, couldn’t bear the thought of seeing them as a couple even less. He’d go from being a sixth wheel to an eighth wheel, and there was only so much he could take before he drew the line at how ridiculous he was.

“That’s great for you, Felix!” Chan’s happy voice drew Felix from his thoughts, “You’ll finally be able to meet some proper dancers!”

“Yeah…” Felix tried not to let his voice sound strained, tilting his head and looking to the floor as he obviously failed if Chan and Seungmin’s confused facial expressions were anything to go by, “I don’t know..."

“You don’t need to be nervous, Lix,” Seungmin said warmly, his hand once again coming to squeeze Felix’s shoulder, “They’re both lovely, I’m sure they’d love to meet you.”

“They’d love to meet the eighth wheel?” Felix couldn’t stop himself from asking, shaking his head as he looked away, deciding he definitely wasn’t going to the movie night. He’d just come back to the apartment late when he knew everyone would be gone and there’d be no one to judge him.

“Pixie, we just went over this,” Chan said, stepping closer to Felix, “You were in a relationship, a bad one, no one’s going to judge you for not being in one now.”

Felix let the words wash over him for a couple of seconds, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth as he sighed, “It’s fine, hyung,” he said, “I need a job anyway, may as well go looking tonight like I planned.”

“Felix…” Seungmin started to say, but Felix didn’t let him, pushing all his cooking to the side and excusing himself from the room, ignoring the sad looks that followed him the entire way.

. . .

He may hate to admit it, but Felix knew he’d be having a lot more fun if he was at the movie night.

He was hunched over a table in a 24-hour coffee shop, americano going cold in front of him. The job-hunting went terribly and all he could think about was how much of a failure he was while his friends were all having fun without him.

It was getting close to midnight, and Felix knew that he had at least two hours before he could go somewhat safely back to Seungmin’s apartment without walking in on a load of cuddling couples. So, that meant two hours of sitting alone in a café with a dead phone and thoughts that were trying to drive him crazy.

Great.

He briefly considered going to join the move night, knowing there were plenty of people there who would be genuinely be happy to see him. But Felix didn’t have any energy left to fake a smile and he knew someone would follow him if he tried to lock himself in his room. So, there was nothing left he could do… just sit and wait to go back home and into bed where he could cry in peace.

Felix genuinely thought there was nothing left that could make his night any worse, nothing except what happened in the very next moment.

The bell to the café jingled and another person let themselves in, walking to the counter and drawing little attention from the few customers spread around, Felix included.

But then the person reached the till and spoke out-loud to order themselves a terrifying familiar drink, and Felix felt his entire heart drop.

His chest hitched and his lungs tightened and his head whipped up to catch sight of the one person he never wanted to see again.

Alex.

The man was just grabbing his drink, smiling innocently at the barista before turning to find a seat, locking eyes with Felix in a moment that sent chills running down his very spine.

For a moment, the two just stared at each other, taking in each other’s features after a separation that had hurt them both, all for the entirely wrong reasons.

Felix wanted the floor to swallow him up, wanted to run and hide and never show his face again, wanted to be far away from the pair of eyes that were boring right into him, reading him and studying him like they’d always been able to do.

It gave Felix chills.

But not as much as when Alex’s face broke into a smile, twinkling evilly as he took a step towards Felix, and then another, and another, and another, and Felix felt his blood go cold as he realised Alex was coming straight towards him.

It was like a dagger was pierced directly through his heart, winding him as he gasped and stuttered, unable to handle the way his blood was roaring past his ears. Alex was getting closer with every step and Felix’s heartbeat was getting louder, so loud he was surprised everyone in the café couldn’t hear it.

But then Alex was three steps away and Felix finally found his feet, the adrenalin spiking through him as he shot up from the chair. He could remember the oppression, could remember the yelling, could remember the control that all had made his life a living hell, that he would refuse to put himself through ever again, not if he had anything to say about it.

So, Felix ran.

He turned away from Alex and shot out the door of the café, sprinting through streetlamps as he flew down the street, feet pounding terrifyingly against the pavement.

He ran and ran and ran. His lungs burned and his legs ached and his head pulsed, but Felix ignored it as he ran, trying to escape the hell that had somehow followed him to a café in the middle of the night.

He really should have gone to the movie night.

But that was where Felix was heading now. It didn’t matter about the couples, it didn’t matter about the romance, it didn’t matter about any of that. All that mattered was that Felix felt safe. He wanted to be in his friends’ arms with gentle words in his ear and warm arms around his shoulders and soft fingers in his hair.

He wanted to be loved.

It was all Felix thought about as he came to a dead stop outside the apartment, leaning against the wall for a couple of seconds to catch his breath.

He was still panting when he reached a hand up to knock, knowing his hands were shaking too badly for him to pull out his key. He merely collapsed against the doorframe as he waited for someone to answer, for a pair of arms he could fall into.

Turns out that was exactly what opened the door, just not exactly what Felix expected.

The boy who answered was beautiful, with catlike eyes and luscious hair and a bone structure crafted by the gods, a build clearly belonging to a dancer that was able to easily catch Felix when he fell through the door.

“Woah,” the boy said, clearly confused as Felix brought up small, desperate hands to cling to him, hearing his friends’ lively chatter in the background that reassured him he had made it to the right apartment.

“Chan,” Felix wheezed into the boy’s ear, feeling the strong arms tightening around him as whoever it was seemed to gain some semblance of understanding.

“Chan-hyung!” the boy yelled, apologising quietly when Felix flinched, “Come here! I need… um… I need help!”

Loud, familiar footsteps made their way urgently through the apartment and Felix felt something akin to relief as he listened to them getting closer. The arms around him seemed to sense Felix’s emotion and soon feather-light fingers were stroking down his back, warmth tingling underneath them as the boy stared half-confusedly, half-sympathetically at Felix.

“What’s up?” Chan’s voice rang into the room just a second before he appeared in the doorway, his eyes widening as he took in the sight in front of him, “Felix!”

He was by Felix’s side in a second, his hands immediately pulling Felix from the boy’s strong arms and into his own. Felix automatically melted into the touch, his heartbeat somewhat calming as Chan enveloped him. But there was some part of him that couldn’t help but miss the way the boy’s arms had felt, the way they had somehow been able to make Felix feel safe even when he was falling into the grasp of a stranger.

“Oh Pixie,” Chan whispered into Felix’s ear, carefully stroking a hand through his hair as Felix took deep breaths into his chest, “That’s it, just keep breathing for me. You’re doing so well, love.”

The terror slicing against Felix’s skin slowly started to fade away as he gradually drooped into Chan’s arms, refusing to close his eyes knowing he would only see Alex’s smile leering terrifyingly down at him.

“Hyung,” Felix whispered, small fingers clawing at Chan’s back, “Hyung… I… I…”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Chan said, burying his nose into Felix’s hair and pressing a light kiss onto the top of his head, “Speak slowly for me now. You don’t need to rush.”

“I… I saw…” Felix tried to stay in the moment, tried to think about nothing but the warmth seeping through his clothes as the memories threatened to take over, “I saw him.”

He practically choked on the words, feeling Chan freeze around him as a sob threatened to force its way out his lips. The entire room seemed to go cold, Chan’s arms tightening to the point it was almost painful. Felix knew Chan hated being reminded of Alex almost as much as he did, hated being reminded of how close he had come to losing Felix, hated being reminded of the man who still haunted Felix to this day, who still kept him feeling like a failure even after Chan had worked so hard to help him recover.

“Is… is there anything I can do?” both Chan and Felix jumped when a hesitant voice spoke up a few feet from them, belonging to the beautiful boy who was now staring at them with concerned eyes, Felix unable to help but noticing the shimmer he had shining within them.

“Minho,” Chan said the word like he had forgotten the boy was there, Felix replaying the pretty name in his head and deciding it definitely suited him, “Sorry… um… yeah, can you get Changbin?”

Minho nodded after a second, concerned eyes roaming over Felix before he quietly left the room, looking over his shoulder at Chan leaning down to carefully cup Felix’s face with his hands.

“Pixie,” Chan said the nickname like it was a precious diamond, like he wanted to cradle it and protect it so it would never break, “Did Alex hurt you? Did he try anything when he saw you?”

“No,” Felix frantically shook his head, his hands coming up to grip to Chan’s wrists, “He saw me and he smiled at me in his awful way and he got really close, he got really close to me, hyung. But I ran before he could get to me and I don’t think he followed me. I don’t know, I ran all the way here. I just didn’t want to see him again, I didn’t want to see him ever, all I could think about was him and how he would yell and scream and-“

“Hey Lix, it’s okay, you’re alright,” Chan said, successfully pulling Felix out of his rambling as he brought scared eyes up to look at Chan, “He’s gone now, yeah? It’s just us here, no one’s going to hurt you.”

“Who hurt you?” Changbin’s urgent voice carried into the room, followed by Changbin himself as he shot through the doorway, stopping a few feet from them and reaching out a hand to tangle with Felix’s.

“No one,” Felix answered softly, smiling when Changbin squeezed his fingers, “I just happened to run into Alex and it freaked me out.”

Changbin’s face changed to somewhere between anger and pity, his eyes widening as he took in the words, “Oh my god, Lix. He didn’t do anything, did he?”

Felix confirmed again that he was fine and Changbin was able to put on a smile, pulling Felix into his own hug and letting Chan watch them with a soft look on his face, his hand never once leaving Felix’s back.

It took a few minutes for Felix to finally dry his tears and reassure the other two that he was calm, but soon enough, after a few more hugs, he was slipping through the living room doorway and feeling every pair of eyes turning towards him as he stumbled between the warm hands of Chan and Changbin.

At first, Felix wasn’t really fazed by all his friends turning to look at him; he knew his sudden entrance had probably confused them so he wasn’t surprised, but then his eyes landed on the boy who was supposedly called Minho and another equally beautiful boy who was tucked under his arm.

Felix and the two of them locked eyes, a weird array of concern and questions and curiosity flying between them as Felix took them in. The second boy (Hyunjin???) was gorgeous, with shiny dark hair falling over his forehead and luscious lips slightly forming a pout and an eye-freckle that Felix felt he could stare at all day. There was no doubt that they were an astoundingly gorgeous couple and Felix couldn’t help but shrink under their gaze.

But then there were hands reaching out and Felix yelped as he was suddenly pulled down to the floor to lie between Jisung and Jeongin, the other gorgeous couple cuddling up to him immediately.

“Lixie-hyung,” Jeongin cooed in Felix’s ear, the maknae practically draped over his shoulder, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, Innie, I’m okay,” Felix said softly as he turned to press a light kiss against Jeongin’s forehead, his heart warming at the giggle he got in response, “I just… ran into Alex tonight and freaked out, but it’s alright. I’m okay.”

The entire room went silent, Seungmin instantly leaning down from the sofa to squeeze Felix’s shoulders whilst Chan and Changbin just looked at him sympathetically. Neither Minho nor Hyunjin said anything, both probably clueless at the topic change.

“Aw, Lix,” Jisung pouted, his eyes roaming over Felix’s face before his mind seemed to say screw it and he flopped himself directly on top of Felix, ignoring the offended huff from underneath him, “I can’t believe you missed the movie night for that.”

“I know,” Felix allowed himself to grin, “And the worst part is the job-hunting was a complete failure. Absolutely no one’s hiring.”

Jisung pouted even harder at that and Felix had to stop himself from whining out loud when Jeongin cooed loudly and pinched Jisung’s cheek, babbling about how cute Jisung was. The two of them quickly dissolved into giggles together, essentially trapping Felix under them as he wondered what he’d done in a past life to deserve this.

He waited until they were somewhat calm before trying to wiggle his way out from under them, startling slightly when an unfamiliar hand suddenly reached down and helped to pull Felix out.

“Sorry,” the owner of the hand said sheepishly, Felix looking up to find a blushing Hyunjin curling shyly into Minho, blinking when he realised how adorable the sight was.

“Don’t be,” Felix was able to say, shuffling closer to them and smiling, “I should be the one that’s sorry. I interrupted the movie night and… and I kind of fell on you,” Felix looked shyly at Minho, “I’m sorry, you probably weren’t expecting that to happen when you decided to hang out with my friends tonight.”

“It’s okay,” Minho smiled, voice was laced with comfort and linen and kittens and all the fluffy things Felix loved, “I was happy to help. You sound like you’ve had a rough night.”

“Yeah, that’s one way of putting it,” Felix tilted his head, heart fluttering when Hyunjin giggled. He couldn’t help but soften at the sound, meeting gazes with Hyunjin and almost melting at the other’s smiley crescent eyes, “I’m… I’m Felix.”

“I’m Hyunjin,” Hyunjin said cheerily back, before bringing up a sweater-paw to gesture at his boyfriend, “And this is Minho-hyung.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Minho said, and Felix was shocked to realise he felt himself relaxing.

“You too,” he said, “I’m sorry we haven’t met before. Chan-hyung said that you’re dancers at the company?”

“Yeah that’s right,” Minho nodded, “We met at dance class two years ago and the rest is history. We auditioned for the company together, got in together and now we work to choreograph the dances together.”

“Wow,” Felix couldn’t hold back the gasp, unintentionally shuffling a little closer to them, “That’s incredible. You guys must be really talented.”

“Thanks,” Hyunjin giggled a little at the compliment, Felix feeling like his heart was melting just as much as Minho’s face was, “But honestly we couldn’t do it without each other. My dancing wasn’t nearly as good until I met Minho-hyung, it just works when we’re together.”

“Well,” Minho said with a slight head tilt, “Nearly.”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin mirrored the gesture, “Nearly.”

Felix couldn’t help the small bud of curiosity from curling in his chest, wondering just how much he could ask, “What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” Minho waved him off casually, before turning so he was fully-facing Felix, pinning him with a devilish smile, “But I know we’re not the only talented dancers here, Chan-hyung talks quite highly of you.”

“Oh,” Felix almost choked on air, unprepared for the sudden compliment or the way Minho was looking at him, making him feel like he was stood directly in the centre of a blinding spotlight, “I… yeah, I do dance. But not for the company or professionally or anything like that. I almost did, but it… it didn’t work out.”

Minho and Hyunjin shared a look, a million thoughts seeming to pass between them before they both furrowed their brows at Felix, stretching the pause out between them before Hyunjin cleared his throat.

“Why not?” he asked carefully, spying how Felix’s hand twitched at the question and bravely reaching out to hold it, “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s fine,” Felix quickly said, looking down at their linked hands and basking in the way Hyunjin’s fingers tingled comfortingly against his skin, “Stuff happened and I was forced to miss my audition for the company. I’ve… I’ve had a lot to fix since then, so I decided to get a regular job to get myself back on my feet before I tried auditioning again.”

“I’m sorry, Felix,” Minho was quick to say, his catlike demeanour effortlessly changing to something more kitten-like, “That sounds hard.”

“It’s okay,” Felix shrugged, starting to play with Hyunjin’s fingers, “I know there’s nothing I can do about it now, so I’m just trying to go up from here.”

Hyunjin turned sad eyes up to him, pushing his fingers up to carefully link with Felix’s again, “If there’s anything we can do to help…”

“No, you don’t have to,” Felix cut him off, “I appreciate it, but I only just met you. I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“Well, that makes me feel rude,” Minho said, drawing Felix’s attention back up to him as he put on a slightly smug expression, “Because we were about to ask for your help.”

Felix couldn’t help the way his body jolted slightly in surprise, an explicable sense of hope lighting within him, “My help? With what?”

“Well, you see we’re working on this choreography for another group,” Hyunjin started to explain, “But we’ve been at it for days now and we’re really not getting anywhere. It’s a big group and it’s getting really hard to visualise what the moves would look like when it’s just the two of us. So, we’ve been thinking about getting some outside help.”

“And you…” Felix swallowed nervously, “You want me?”

“Don’t act so surprised,” Minho said, looking at Felix in a way that had his heart fluttering, “Chan-hyung says you’re really talented and he’s shown us some videos. There’s a reason we want you.”

“As soon as possible, really,” Hyunjin added, a little more sweetly, “We were planning on working on it tomorrow, but if you need more time or if it’s too short notice then that’s cool. Whatever’s easiest for you.”

Felix couldn’t stop his jaw from dropping, his head spinning from the idea that these two obviously attractive and talented and stable guys wanting… him?

“No, t-tomorrow is fine,” Felix was able to stammer, “I was going to try job-hunting again, but honestly that can wait.”

“That’s amazing!” Hyunjin chirped, eye smiles back on full-display and making Felix wanting to give him the whole world there and then, “And don’t worry about that! We can ask the company to pay you for your help.”

“And, who knows,” Minho said slyly, “If we put in a good enough word for you Felix, maybe the company will take you on full-time.”

A gasp really did leave Felix’s mouth this time, his eyes widening in a way that had the other two laughing at him, “You’re not serious?”

“Of course, we are,” Hyunjin said, “You’re clearly an amazing person to our friends and you’ve got talent, it’d be a shame to waste it.”

“Hyunjin’s right,” Minho said, “We’d love to have you.”

“Wow, I don’t know what to say,” Felix said, his face breaking out into a disbelieving smile, “That’s amazing, thank you so much! I guess… I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Minho’s face split into a wide grin, an endeared look shimmering in his eyes, “It’s a date.”

And if the word ‘date’ was single-handedly able to throw Felix into a gay panic strong enough to make him forget all about seeing Alex, then that wasn’t anyone’s business.

. . .

Felix didn’t know what he was expecting when he went to meet Minho and Hyunjin the next day, but opening the door to find them already dancing was definitely a pleasant surprise.

The lighting in the room was low, the music was pulsing off the walls, Minho and Hyunjin’s movements were smooth in the mirror, and Felix felt like he was genuinely about to combust.

Hyunjin danced with a conciseness that was hard to replicate, the power in his moves being dispersed cleanly and creatively, letting his body relax when the music did and pound when the volume grew.

Minho was similar in his power level, but different in his grace. Every part of Minho’s routine flowed perfectly into the next, every inch of his body from his fingertips to his toes rippling perfectly to the beat, his entire being bringing a story to life that Felix couldn’t tear his eyes away from.

He found himself mesmerised as he waited for them to finish, stood patiently by the mirror as the song built and built, every note getting more and more intense, the emotion in the room growing and growing until…both of the boys stopped.

Felix couldn’t help but be disappointed, eager to see how Minho and Hyunjin would have tackled such a pivotal part of the song. But then Minho jogged over to the speaker to turn the music off and Hyunjin turned to Felix with a bright smile, and Felix couldn’t be disappointed anymore.

“Hey, Felix,” Hyunjin waved, “I’m so glad you came.”

“Of course, I did,” Felix said, throwing down his stuff and picking up Hyunjin’s towel to give to him as he walked over, “And I’m so glad I did, that was incredible.”

“Ah thanks,” Hyunjin practically beamed, burying his face in the towel to hide his blush, “But that’s all we have so far, we’re seriously behind.”

“So, please,” Minho appeared from behind Felix, looping an arm over his shoulders and sending his heart flipping into a frenzy, “Show us your expertise.”

Felix didn’t need to look in the mirror to know his cheeks would be burning a bright red, Minho ditching the serious façade to giggle into his ear as he rubbed Felix’s shoulder comfortingly.

“I’m just messing with you, Felix,” he said, “Do you want us to go over the choreography we have so far so you can pick it up and hopefully get inspired along the way?”

“Yeah,” Felix smiled in relief, taking the hand Hyunjin offered to walk him to the middle of the room, “That’d be great.”

“Then let’s do this!” Hyunjin cheered, sweaty skin glowing and hair tumbling messily round his face. Minho gushed at the sight and Hyunjin’s face broke into a wide smile, Felix feeling all the air leave his lungs as he observed them.

They were so beautiful, both so beautiful, and Felix couldn’t help but stare as they locked eyes and intertwined fingers and giggled together in a way that exuded nothing but love.

It was everything Felix wanted.

And not just in the way that Felix wanted a cute partner and a happy relationship. He wanted all that and more. He wanted them.

Felix had only known them for a day and yet all he wanted to do was bask in Hyunjin’s light, get lost in Minho’s glow, let himself become trapped in the complete and utter safety the pair offered.

But then Hyunjin was leaning further into Minho and a thousand stars shone between them, Felix feeling his chest tighten when he realised he wasn’t apart of their galaxy. They lived in their own world, on their own planet, and Felix was a mere tourist. He wasn’t a resident in their perfect world.

Things only got worse when they started to teach Felix the choreography. Every time their fingertips brushed over his arms, or their hands positioned his waist, or their heads leaned over his shoulder, Felix felt his heart accelerate. They were being so gentle with him, so kind, that Felix only found himself leaning further into them, pining more for the things he knew he couldn’t have.

But then they pressed play on the music, and Felix felt everything fade away as his body hummed with the familiar thrill of being able to dance again.

He danced between them, occasionally swapping positions or grabbing their hands to execute a move, every inch of his skin alight with the song tingling along his veins. He brought the music to life, he felt the notes bouncing off him, he performed for the mirror and he performed well. And when their choreography finally did stop and the next part of the song kept playing, Felix felt a million ideas bouncing around in his head.

Felix had missed this.

He’d missed the adrenalin and the rush and the absolute inspiration that Alex had screamed out of him, that Minho and Hyunjin had somehow been able to bring back with a single dance.

He could feel his heart stuttering, could feel his face breaking out into a wide grin, could feel his chest panting with the exhaustion he craved, and Felix was happy. He was happy and brimming with hope and he knew exactly what to do next with the choreography.

His feet skidded along the floor as he whipped round with a smile, sweat shining on his forehead and hair bouncing around his forehead. Minho and Hyunjin both looked taken aback, whether it was from Felix’s dancing or his sudden burst, Felix didn’t know, but he still couldn’t hold himself back.

“I have an idea!” he practically yelled, body so full of adrenalin that he started bouncing on his feet when both Minho and Hyunjin grinned at him, filling Felix’s veins with a strong sense of pride he hadn’t felt in so long.

Felix was feeling so good that he missed the look Minho and Hyunjin shared next, the look that seemed to confirm something between them, that seemed be signal a decision being made, a decision that Felix didn’t realise would have a very strong impact on him in the very near future.

. . .

The meet-ups between the three of them only got more frequent after that.

Felix had successfully been able to help them get another minute of choreography done and Minho and Hyunjin begged him to come back the next day to finish the rest, and who would Felix have been to say no to their beautiful faces?

They finished the song relatively quickly and, without realising it, Felix was soon helping them choreograph dances for the whole album. Managers were coming in and watching them and Felix was getting paid and talks of hiring him were floating through the studios, many people pleased with how well Felix worked with Hyunjin and Minho.

And soon enough, the trio were going for coffee after practices, and getting dinner together before going back to the studio, and taking walks together when they needed a break. Felix was convinced he was going to have a heart attack with how close they were all becoming, but he didn’t regret it for a second.

Not even when it was 11am on a Sunday and Felix was only just waking up, dragging himself out of bed and stumbling bleary-eyed through Seungmin’s apartment to the kitchen in search of tea, only to be met with the shining face of Hwang Hyunjin.

Felix blinked. Hyunjin was leant against the counter typing on his phone, looking up and smiling when Felix tripped in the doorway. He had to resist the urge to turn and run away, not wanting Hyunjin to see him in his baggy white shirt, crumpled blue shorts and messy hair, face still puffy with sleep.

“Good morning, Lix,” Hyunjin giggled, shaking his head slightly when Felix merely stared at him, sleepy brain visibly working to put the pieces together, “Sit down, I’ll make you a drink.”

Felix was too tired to do anything but obey, flopping himself in one of the chairs and rubbing his hands over his face, trying to fix his hair to look somewhat presentable as Hyunjin turned back around and placed a steaming mug in front of him, taking the seat to Felix’s left.

“Thanks,” Felix said, clearing his throat as his voice was still croaky with sleep, “Didn’t realise I’d be seeing you this morning.”

“Wow, your voice is even deeper in the morning,” Hyunjin responded completely off-topic, face breaking out into an apologetic smile when Felix raised his eyebrows at him, “Sorry, yeah, I just came to get a demo-track from Chan-hyung told me to meet him here.”

“Ah, right,” Felix said, “Sorry, I would have made myself look slightly less of a mess if I knew you were going to be here.”

“Nonsense,” Hyunjin waved a hand, “You’re a complete charmer. Your freckles are more prominent like this and the messy hair looks like it came straight from a Disney movie. I’d be disappointed to have missed this.”

Hyunjin winked at the end of his mini-speech and Felix almost gasped out loud, ducking his head as he felt his cheeks burn. Embarrassing compliments aside, Felix couldn’t help but feel like the words were a bit flirtier than Hyunjin usually was, like Hyunjin was making the most of an opportunity now that Minho wasn’t around.

“Besides,” Hyunjin added, leaning closer and placing a hand over where Felix’s was resting on the table, “If all goes to plan, I’ll be seeing you wake up a lot more soon.”

Felix choked on his tea, a small laugh leaving Hyunjin’s lips as Felix felt his brain scramble, a million questions and thoughts and concerns storming through his mind. Was Hyunjin implying what Felix thought he was implying? Did Minho know about this? How the hell was Felix supposed to respond?

Thankfully, before Felix had to come up with some semblance of a response, Chan was barging his way into the room with a loud greeting and an even louder smile, tossing Hyunjin the CD he had come for. Seungmin and Changbin were following behind, holding hands and somehow looking wide awake. Felix merely waved in greeting whilst Hyunjin went over to hug them, flashing each of them his bright smile before excusing himself and bidding goodbye.

“Hello Felix,” Changbin said, ignoring all the chairs in the room to sit on Felix’s lap, “I see you’ve just woken up.”

“Oh…  um, what?” Felix was still too caught up in Hyunjin’s words to process the fact that Changbin had been speaking, let alone the fact that he was now in Felix’s lap.

“Yep, you’ve definitely just woken up,” Seungmin smiled, taking the seat next to them and leaning over to squeeze Felix’s fingers before tangling his hand permanently with Changbin’s. A small pang tightened in Felix’s chest at the touch, reminding him of how Hyunjin’s hand had felt when it was on his, when he was leaning forward and smiling at Felix in the way that could only mean one thing.

“Felix?”

Felix jumped, shaking himself out of his thoughts again and looking up to find Chan, Changbin and Seungmin all staring at him in concern.

“Sorry what?” he asked sheepishly, cowering slightly under the intense gazes.

“We were just asking if you slept well,” Chan said quietly, walking over to push Felix’s tea closer towards him, “Although, judging by the fact you just spaced out twice in 30 seconds, I’m going to guess that you didn’t.”

“No, no, I’m fine,” Felix shook his head, hoping it would somehow quieten his racing thoughts, “It’s just…” he trailed off.

“Just what?” Seungmin asked, observing how Felix’s fingers had started to fiddle with his mug.

“It’s just… you all know Hyunjin, right?” Felix took a breath waiting for the three silent nods, trying to choose his next words carefully, “He… he’s a good person, right? If he was in a relationship, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt the other person?”

“No,” Seungmin’s answer was firm and sure, so certain that Felix instantly believed him, “I know you’ve only known Hyunjin for a few weeks, Lix, but I’ve known him for years. He’d never hurt anyone.”

Felix let the words wash over him, feeling his heart relax a little as he listened to them. Maybe, he really was just reading too far into things. Maybe, he was just too paranoid and didn’t need to be so nervous about the idea of relationships. Maybe, he didn’t need to be so analytical of everything Minho and Hyunjin did.

“Okay,” Felix nodded more to himself than anyone else, drinking the last of his tea before shoving Changbin off his lap and onto Seungmin’s, “Thanks.”

Confused eyes followed him as Felix dashed out the room, ignoring Chan’s panicked call of ‘Felix!’ as he pulled on a jacket and stumbled into his shoes, deciding he needed to clear his head and figure out exactly where he stood with Minho and Hyunjin.

. . .

Two days later, Felix was still absolutely clueless.

He was trying to avoid Minho and Hyunjin, which meant that he was also indirectly avoiding everyone else, and he knew they were staring to get concerned. But he couldn’t bring himself to stop, not when every interaction with Minho and Hyunjin was tumbling through his brain, spiralling through his thoughts and confusing him beyond belief.

Felix liked them; he was absolutely sure of that. And there were moments he thought they might like him too, but also moments he had trouble coming to terms with the idea of even one person liking him, let alone two. And there were also the moments that Minho and Hyunjin seemed too wrapped up in each other to even realise Felix was there, and that just sent him back to square one.

He was so caught up in everything that he wasn’t looking where he was going, barely noticing as he let himself out the door of the coffee shop, green tea in hand, and walked smack into someone else.

“Oh my god!” Felix exclaimed, flinching harshly as he fell back onto his butt and watched his tea soak the ground, “I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t be,” the person said, voice vaguely familiar but not enough the break through the small fog of shock still clouding Felix’s mind, “I wasn’t looking where I was goi-… Felix?”

Felix’s head snapped up, his eyes automatically locking with Minho’s as the older stared down at him, a small surprised smile flickering across his features.

“Oh,” Felix couldn’t help but say, a couple of seconds of silence passing between them before he shook himself, “Sorry, hi!”

“Hey,” Minho smiled, holding out a hand to help Felix up, “You’ve no idea how relieved I am to see it’s you. Not that I’d want to knock you over, of course, but I feel like you’re a lot more understanding than most people.”

Felix couldn’t help but grin, unable to deny the way Minho was able to put Felix at ease, even when his brain was spinning somewhere chaotically between gay panic and confusion, “It’s fine, I wasn’t paying attention either.”

“Well, it looks like we both have a lot on our minds,” Minho said, looking at Felix in a way that was so knowing, so observant, that Felix almost winced on the spot, “But anyway, let me buy you another drink!”

“No, no, you don’t have to,” Felix tried to shake his head, but Minho was taking his hand and leading him back inside before he could get another word out, babbling about how it was the least he could do and Felix should stop being so polite.

He was still holding Felix’s hand when the two got into the queue together, Felix immediately being reminded of the way Hyunjin had held his hand when he’d hinted at their friendship becoming something more. A small part of Felix couldn’t help but feel that this skinship was similar, that there really was something going on between him and Hyunjin and him and Minho that he didn’t know about it.

His suspicions were only confirmed when Minho let out a small sigh and dropped his head onto Felix’s shoulder, nuzzling his nose into the younger’s neck. Usually, Felix would revel in the touch, letting its warmth consume him, but now he couldn’t help but get a bad feeling because Minho had a boyfriend, a boyfriend who wasn’t Felix, and this didn’t feel all that platonic anymore.

“Hyung,” Felix’s voice was serious, eyes staring straight ahead, feeling Minho’s head shift slightly on his shoulder so he could look up at him.

“Is everything okay?” Minho asked, clearly picking up on the shift in the mood.

“Hyung, do you remember the night we met?” Felix said, ignoring the confused eyes he could feel boring into him, “Do you remember how I practically fell on you because I’d been running and I was panicking?”

A moment of silence passed between them before Minho nodded, “I do,” he said.

“That night, I ran into my ex,” Felix forced himself to take a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second before turning to could look straight into Minho’s, “My ex is not a good person, hyung. He made our relationship into something scary, something I didn’t want to be in.”

There was a brief pause, the words hanging heavily between them as Minho took advantage of the opportunity to squeeze harder on Felix’s hand, “I’m very sorry to hear that, Felix.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Felix looked away, “It’s just… I don’t want to see anyone get hurt like I was. I’m not trying to assume anything or make you feel bad, but the way you and Hyunjin have both acted around me, I just don’t want you to hurt each other. I don’t know what’s going on but please, please don’t hurt each other.”

“Oh, Pixie,” Minho said softly, and Felix flinched, his heart dropping at the nickname, “Sorry!” Minho quickly stood up properly, moving to stand in front of Felix, “It’s just I’ve heard Chan-hyung use the nickname before and I thought you liked it! I didn’t mean to make you more upset, I promise.”

“No, it’s okay,” Felix breathed the words out, “It’s just that’s usually something only Chan-hyung calls me. He’s done it since we were little. He stopped for a while when we were growing up, but it’s come back since he helped me get away from my ex.”

“Well, I guess I’ll have to come up with my own nickname then,” Minho smiled softly, Felix looking at him in a way that suggested Minho hadn’t listened to a word he’d just said, “Sorry, back to what you were saying.”

Despite the heavy nature of the conversation, Felix couldn’t help but smile at Minho’s flustered little headshake, the boy’s hair bouncing with the movement.

“Lix, I promise you that Hyunjin and I are not going to hurt each other,” Minho said sincerely, taking both of Felix’s hands into his own, “I can understand why you might think that, but I promise that what you are thinking isn’t true. Hyunjin and I have had something to discuss recently, something we will need to discuss with you as well, but trust me when I say we handled it like adults. We love each other very much and I can promise it’s nothing like you and your ex.”

“Okay,” Felix nodded, breathing a heavy sigh of relief, “Thank you for saying that, hyung. Sorry that you had to.”

“Don’t apologise,” Minho smiled softly, turning around so he could lean against Felix and order their drinks at the same time, managing to nudge Felix out the way when he swooped in to try and pay.

“No fair,” Felix said, pouting as he took his drink, “I told you that you didn’t have to buy me this.”

“Well, too bad,” Minho winked, leading Felix out the door and throwing some words over his shoulder before walking away, “I bought it for you anyway, baby.”

Felix almost dropped his drink again.

. . .

“So, what you’re trying to say is that Minho-hyung and Hyunjin are both trying to cheat on each other… with you?” Jisung spoke around the candy in his mouth, Seungmin groaning and throwing a wrapper at him as Jeongin giggled.

“No… yes… I don’t know!” Felix answered, hands gesticulating wildly from where he was hanging upside-down on the sofa of 3racha’s dorm, “They’re just both so flirty with me but it’s also clear they’re head over heels for each other and maybe I’m head over heels for both of them and I overthink literally everything they do and I’m really confused right now!”

Jeongin giggled even louder at Felix’s answer, letting his head fall onto Jisung’s shoulder as they both sang, in the most obnoxious sing-song voice possible, “Felix is whipped.”

Even Seungmin laughed at that, Felix grabbing the discarded empty wrapper from next to him and throwing it once more at Jisung.

“Yes, I’m whipped!” Felix groaned, “We’ve already established that! Now help me establish what I’m supposed to do next.”

“Oh Lix,” Seungmin smiled and shook his head, “You really are clueless, aren’t you?”

“That’s not exactly news,” Felix grumbled.

“No, it’s not,” Jeongin said, poking Felix in the stomach and manoeuvring so he could hang upside-down off the sofa next to him, “But that’s what we’re here for. Lixie’s love experts, at your service!”

“Oh my god, genius!” Jisung exclaimed, quickly twisting and practically throwing himself upside-down to the right of Jeongin, grabbing his hand on the way, “We’ll help you with everything.”

“You guys are so embarrassing,” Felix said, but he couldn’t hold back his smile when Seungmin joined them, “But I love you.”

“We love you too, Lix,” Jisung cooed, “But not as much as Minho-hyung and Hyunjin do.”

“Jisung, I’ve already told you this,” Felix accompanied his words with a heavy sigh, “They’re just flirty, it’s nothing more.”

“Seriously, hyung?” Jeongin raised eyebrows at him, the sight looking comical on the maknae’s upside-down face, “Hyunjin-hyung said that he wants to wake up next to you and Minho-hyung bought you a drink and called you baby, we’ve gotten way past flirting at this point.”

“Jeongin’s right,” Seungmin added, “They’re whipped for you, Lix. I’d say they’re not that far from wanting to add you to their relationship.”

Felix couldn’t deny the rush of hope that the words sent rushing through him, but he also couldn’t deny the absolute terror that squeezed his heart, “But what if they did ask me that? How would I respond? I don’t even know if I’m ready for one boyfriend, let alone two.”

“It might be all the blood that’s rushing to my head, but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you pining for a boyfriend for weeks now,” Jisung said, “Obviously, no one’s forcing you into anything, we all know you’ve had it rough. But I think you’re ready, Lix. They clearly like you and you clearly like them, so why not? Let yourself be happy for a change.”

“Yeah,” Jeongin added, “No one will blame you if it doesn’t work out, but you won’t know until you try.”

“And Minho-hyung and Hyunjin will absolutely spoil you,” Seungmin pointed out, “They’re bad enough when they’re with each other, I can’t even imagine what they’ll be like with you.”

A small bud of hope bloomed in Felix’s chest at the words, his eyes sparkling a little as he processed them, “Maybe, you’re right. I should go for it.”

“That’s my boy!” Jisung shouted, face breaking out into a large grin that everyone mirrored, “Go get ‘em, Lix!”

And before Felix could respond, a loud yelp left his mouth as Seungmin suddenly toppled off the sofa, falling backwards and taking them all with him as they landed in a pile on the floor.

“What the hell, Seungmin?” Jisung shouted, voice muffled from where his face was buried in Felix’s stomach, his windpipe being crushed by Jeongin’s elbow.

“It’s not my fault!” Seungmin yelled from somewhere under Felix’s back, “Someone tickled my feet!”

All four boys whipped their heads up (wincing when they all hit each other) to see Chan and Changbin smirking at them from behind the sofa, clearly proud of the dogpile they had created on the floor.

“Stupid hyungs,” Jeongin muttered, letting his head fall back onto the floor, “I’m surprised Chan-hyung didn’t make Felix-hyung wear a helmet or something first, he’s way too protective of him.”

“Guys,” Chan whined, giggling through his words, “I’m not too protective of Felix.”

“Oh yeah?” Seungmin challenged, a knowing look passing over his face, “Wait until you find out Felix is getting two boyfriends.”

“Felix is getting what?!”

. . .

It had been hours and the word ‘boyfriends’ was still spiralling crazily through Felix’s head.

Boyfriends? Two boyfriends? Could Felix really be in a relationship with more than one person? In a relationship with two people who had already been with each other for two years?

Felix wanted to say no, wanted to find a million excuses for why he was too scared, or not ready, or not willing to be in a relationship with them. But he couldn’t deny how good they made him feel, how warm they made his heart, how happy he truly was when he was with them. He’d denied himself happiness for too long. Maybe, he thought, it was time to allow himself what he wanted for a change.

So, when Felix pulled out his phone and texted both Minho and Hyunjin to come meet him on the balcony of Seungmin’s apartment, he told himself not to panic too much. This was what he wanted, and it was okay to chase after it.  

It was almost too quick how Minho responded saying they were on the way, his text accompanied by a sickening number of heart emojis that made Felix shake his head as he put his phone back in his pocket, looking up at the stars  that he hoped would give him enough strength to actually go through with his plans.

It could have been hours before the door behind him finally opened, it could have been minutes, Felix didn’t really register anything past the feeling building in his stomach. He was ready, he tried to tell himself, he was ready and it was going to be okay.

“Hey Lix,” a soft voice said, an even softer figure coming to stand to Felix’s right, their shoulders brushing together as Hyunjin clasped his hands over the railing like Felix was.

“Hi,” Felix responded quietly, barely even flinching when Minho took his place to Felix’s left, squishing Felix in the middle of them and encasing them all in a warmth even the cold night air couldn’t chase away.

“This is beautiful,” Minho said, nudging Felix slightly as he spoke, “Thanks for inviting us here. We’ve never been on Seungmin's balcony before.”

A hum merely left Felix’s lips in response, his thoughts trying to get themselves in order as a comfortable silence slowly began to fall over them, broken only by the occasional shuffle or laboured breath.

Despite the clear night sky, Felix could barely see straight. His vision was blurring and his hands were sweating and he could feel his heart pounding in his chest, motivated purely by the nervousness he had running rampant through his system.

He’d told himself he could do it, he’d told himself he was ready, but now Felix didn’t think he was. Minho and Hyunjin’s shoulders were on his and their beautiful faces were shining in the starlight and all Felix could think about was how they were too good for him, how they deserved better than him.

But then Minho’s hand slowly tangled its way into his, and Hyunjin’s head dropped onto Felix’s shoulder, and a feeling of complete relaxation soared through Felix’s veins. Even when they didn’t realise it, they were always able to calm Felix, and he’d be so stupid if he let that go.

“There’s a reason I invited you here,” Felix broke the silence, his voice soft and scared but still holding a certainty that had Minho and Hyunjin turning to face him, questions in both of their eyes, “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

He forced himself to take a couple of deep breaths before carrying on, focusing only on the soft skin against his before closing his eyes, his heart threatening to shatter out of his ribcage, “Whenever I’m with you guys, you always manage to make me feel a certain way. It’s hard to explain, but from the moment I literally fell into Minho-hyung’s arms, I’ve felt drawn to you, like I’m safe with you, like I know you’re going to take care of me.”

“That’s because we will always take care of you, Felix,” Minho cut in gently, Felix opening his eyes in a smile that bounced off the night sky, lighting them all in a way that was nothing short of beautiful.

“Don’t worry, you’ve made that very clear,” Felix said, giggling slightly as his fingers began to draw patterns over the railing in front of him, “The very first time we met, you guys were giving me a solution to my financial problems and helping me learn to love dance again, even though you weren’t even aware that those were things I was struggling with in the first place. You just came along and made everything better without even realising it.”

“Felix…” Hyunjin started to say, his words tickling against where his face was resting on Felix’s neck, stilling when Felix cut him off.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Felix said, almost struggling to speak around the lump in his throat, “I don’t think you even realise how much you’ve done for me. Before I met you, things happened, and I felt broken. I felt incapable of love and undeserving of kindness and, no matter how many times Chan-hyung told me I was wrong, I was convinced that there was nothing that could make it better. But then you two showed up and you were so nice to me from the start, you made me so happy and you made me feel so welcome and now I just want to be near to you at every opportunity.”

Felix had to pause to wipe at his eyes, his cheeks shimmering gorgeously with the tears lying upon them. Tears that, for the first time in months, weren’t tears of sadness.  

“And then I got the feeling that… that maybe you felt the same way,” Felix’s teeth sparkled as he smiled, “You guys have no idea how much you confused me with your flirting. At one point, I was convinced you were both trying to use me to cheat on each other.” Felix paused as both Minho and Hyunjin laughed, “But then I learnt what amazing people you are, and how you would never, ever hurt someone that you love, and that only made me like you more.”

“Felix,” Minho’s voice was hesitant as it spoke, his hand still squeezing Felix’s, “Are you trying to say what I think you are?”

“What I’m trying to say is,” Felix swallowed heavily, looking up to the sky as he said the words that had been on the tip of his tongue for so long, “As Hyunjin put it, I want to spend my future waking up to your stupidly beautiful faces.”

A small moment passed between them before Hyunjin burst out laughing, eyes pulling up into crescents that reflected the Moon and had euphoria tingling through Felix’s veins, his gaze unable to tear away from the beauty next to him.

“Oh Hyunjin, you’re so sappy,” Minho said, leaning close to Felix so they could watch Hyunjin laugh together, “Did you really tell Lix that you want to see him wake up?”

“Of course, I did,” Hyunjin said like it was obvious, his face still beaming as he brought up a finger to stroke gently down the side of Felix’s face, “Who could resist these freckles?”

“You make a valid point there,” Minho inclined his head, lips pulling up at the corners as he noticed Felix’s blush, “I certainly couldn’t.”

“Stoooppppp,” Felix whined, dropping his head into his hands as both Minho and Hyunjin giggled, the noise sounding like music to his ears.

“You’re so cute, baby,” Minho said, standing up so he could lean back against the balcony railing and pull Felix in front of him, Hyunjin coming to hug Felix from behind as Minho carefully pulled the hands away from his face, “And so brave, so so brave. Thank you so much for saying what you just did, you certainly built up your courage a lot quicker than Hyunjin and I were able to.”

“Hyung,” the word shook as it left Felix’s mouth, his eyes searching to land directly on Minho’s, “Does… does that mean you want to say it too? That you feel the same way?”

A second of anticipation completely suffocated Felix, his heart pounding as he watched Minho’s face pull into the most endeared expression he had ever seen, his eyes softening and his features melting in a way that had Felix’s chest squeezing in hope.

“Of course, it does, baby,” Minho said gently, his arms looping around Felix’s waist to pull him closer, Hyunjin following behind, “You’re so perfect in every way, and we want to be able to show you that.”

Felix’s breath hitched, his entire body tingling with the feeling. There was a happiness lighting along his veins, burning against his skin, pulling at his smile as he completely relaxed in Minho’s embrace, letting the touch consume him like he’d desperately wanted.

“Hyung’s right,” Hyunjin spoke directly into Felix’s ear, his hand coming to play with the hair on the back of Felix’s neck, “We like you, Felix, and we want to be with you… if you’ll have us.”

Felix couldn’t believe his ears, his head turning so he could lock gazes with Hyunjin over his shoulder, “Of course, I’ll have you. I’ll always have you.”

Much to all their surprise, a tear slowly left Hyunjin’s eye at the words, Felix almost gasping when he saw it. For a second, he just watched the liquid gradually work its way down the side of Hyunjin’s face, all coherent thought going out the window as Felix leaned forward and carefully pressed his lips against it, leaving a gentle kiss on Hyunjin’s cheek.

“Oh baby,” Hyunjin said after a second, his hand cupping the back of Felix’s head, “My lips are here.”

That was the only warning Felix got as Hyunjin suddenly leant forward, closing his eyes and connecting their lips in a moment that had fireworks erupting around them. Felix felt warmth encase his entire face, complete bliss wrapping around his lips as Hyunjin moved softly against him, his hand tangling in Felix’s hair and his mouth tender against Felix’s.

The awkward position was painful for Felix’s neck, but he paid it no attention as he kissed back, his every cell tingling with the absolute heaven that was Hyunjin’s kiss. Hyunjin was soft, and gentle, and tender, but also tasted so sweet and so pure that Felix wanted more. His touch was featherlight and barely there, but still enough that Felix felt loved and cared for and treasured by the beautiful boy that was holding him.

But Hyunjin wasn’t the only beautiful boy. Felix briefly began to register a thumb rubbing circles on his waist, slowly pulling Felix away from Hyunjin and closer to him as they finally broke the kiss, both of them panting.

“Wow,” Hyunjin breathed, his lips glowing and face bright, eyes focusing only on Felix.

“Yeah,” Felix nodded, barely able to form thought, “Wow.”

“Well, I can certainly agree with that,” Minho suddenly spoke up smugly from in front of them, drawing both their gazes to them, “That definitely was very ‘wow’, even if I am jealous Hyunjin got the first kiss.”

It took a second for Felix to process the words, but then he was pulling swollen lips up into a smile as he looked at Minho, “Don’t be jealous, hyung. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good,” Minho said firmly, pulling Felix closer so their faces were only inches apart, “Because I wouldn’t want to miss this.”

And once again, Felix was gently pulled forward so his lips could land on someone else’s, his hands coming up to cup Minho’s face as they closed the distance between them.

Whilst Hyunjin was soft, Minho was hard. He kissed Felix expertly, passion, desire and love all rolling into one as Minho moved his lips, the softness of them hitting Felix in just the right places as they moved in sync.

Felix couldn’t hold back his gasps, shuddering slightly at the way Minho’s hands were moving at his waist, only heightening his anticipation as he tried to move closer to Minho, tangling their lips even further between them. They practically clashed together, giggling slightly into each other’s mouths as their faces touched, skin hot in just the right way.

Hyunjin was draped all over Felix by the time they both pulled away, chests stuttering as they pulled in air, eyes never once leaving each other’s.

“I see what you mean now, Hyunjin,” Minho was able to force the words out, “Wow.”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin leaned over to plant a kiss on the end of Minho’s nose, “Definitely a ‘wow’ moment.”

Felix couldn’t help but laugh at the words, the sound passing between them and warming all their hearts as they shuffled closer together, embracing the comfort that had begun to blanket them. They stayed like that for a while, humming softly together as they watched the stars, limbs becoming tangled and numb as they began to lean against one each other, the Moon getting higher and higher in the sky.

“Felix,” Hyunjin eventually broke the silence, voice sounding a minute away from sleep but also excited, like he wanted something he knew he was going to get, “Kiss me again.”

And who would Felix be to say no to a request like that?