Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Which one’s yours?”

Yoongi meets the eyes of the man who has just squeezed himself into the tiny primary school chair across from him, apple juice in his hand sloshing over the edges of the paper cup. He’s about Yoongi’s age, but then again, most parents are.

“The one with pigtails playing with the blocks,” he nods in the direction of Yeji who’s playing with the other kids on the carpet.

“No way! My daughter’s the girl next to her, guess they’re making friends.”

“Nice,” Yoongi forces a smile and avoids the other’s gaze.

“Sorry, just trying to make the most of this mixer. It’s not really my favorite thing but I thought it was important for Chaeryong to meet other kids.”

Yoongi looks back at him, this time struck by his wide eyes, clean-cut hair, and white button-up shirt and blazer that hugs his arms and torso nicely. He’s got the opposite of a dad-bod, and that makes Yoongi even more self-conscious. But at the same time, the guy has the kindest, softest smile that reveals large front teeth and that makes him unquestionably more approachable.

“Same. It’s weird to think that Yeji is gonna be going to school here. I’m not sure what I’ll do without her at home.”

“I totally get that,” a pause, “My name is Jungkook, by the way,” the man reaches out to shake Yoongi’s hand, and he returns the gesture.

“I’m Yoongi. My daughter is Yeji.”

“Yoongi, Yeji—got it. Was that on purpose?” Jungkook tilts his head.

“What?”

“The Ys at the beginning of your names. It’s cute.”

“Oh, no,” Yoongi shakes his head. “Her mom just liked the name and it worked, so.”

“Nice. Chaeryong’s name came up because her mom wanted to name her ‘Cherry’, but I thought she should have something more traditional. And thus—Chaeryoung was born.”

“Do you call her Cherry?”

Jungkook shrugs, “Sometimes. Mostly her mom does.”

“That’s very cute too.”

“Thanks, hopefully one day Chaeryong appreciates it.”

“She doesn’t like her name?” Yoongi asks, curious and also concerned. Because when Yeji was being named he was terrified of the permanence of the decision. Of how it would be her name forever, and that would be it. And if she didn’t like it, or if some other Yeji appeared in the media and made it seem like he named his daughter after her—then the name would be ruined, and it would be his fault.

“She says it’s too long. A lot of kids these days have names that are two syllables, and hers is three. She was at a day camp and when she came home she said wanted a name like Lia or Jieun or—“

“Yeji?” Yoongi adds with a laugh. “Guess I followed the trend. Damn, thought we were being unique.”

Jungkook smiles and his eyes crinkle, laughing as he says, “I do think it’s a unique name though! It’s very cute.”

“You mentioned,” Yoongi reminds him.

“Right.”

“Where’d you get the apple juice?” Yoongi gestures at the drink in the other dad’s hand.

“Oh, this? There’s a table set up in the hallway. There’s some finger foods, too. Carrot sticks and stuff,” Jungkook tells him. “I’ll show you.”

“Okay,” Yoongi agrees, glancing over at his daughter to see her still playing cheerfully with Chaeryong.

Jungkook presses his palms to the top of the small kids table and uses it as leverage to get himself up as Yoongi scoots his tiny seat back and does the same. Standing, the other man is only a few centimeters taller, but it’s more than enough for Yoongi to have to look up at him. He feels strange as they walk together towards the classroom door and step into the poorly lit corridor. Most of the other parents are out here, sipping out of paper cups and eyeing each other. Every pair is dressed more lavishly than the next, trying to outdo one another and show off in some way. Fancy wrist watches and necklaces, heels and shiny shoes. Yoongi feels out of place in his old slacks and simple button down.

It doesn’t help that everyone here has a spouse, either.

He sucks in a breath and grabs an apple juice anyway, it’s something to keep his hands busy. Jungkook is texting someone on his phone a meter away, and even though Yoongi doesn’t know him he’s already become a bit of a lifeline in this situation where Yoongi feels so out of his depth. He swallows hard and stares at the wall, it’s painted over with the solar system, horribly out of proportion and brush strokes clearly done by a 6 year old. Still, he chose this school of the two options Yeji had because of the art on the walls. Because they have arts classes that aren’t the first thing to be cut when budgeting becomes difficult. Yeji has yet to pick up any exclusive interests—constantly dropping one thing and then moving onto the next—so he hopes there’s plenty to keep her entertained here.

“Hi there!” A tall, older woman approaches Yoongi suddenly. Her recognizes her as one of Yeji’s soon-to-be teachers. “I’m Kwon Sohee, you can call me Sohee-ssi if you’d like. I’ll be teaching math this year.”

Yoongi bows to her as he introduces himself, “Ah, nice to meet you Sohee-ssi. I’m Min Yoongi, I’m Yeji’s dad. She’s very excited to start this year.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Sohee grins, gaze darting around Yoongi and past him, as if searching for someone. “Is your wife here, Yoongi-ssi? I’d love to meet her.”

“Oh, um,” he scratches the back of his neck. He knew this was coming. Knew he couldn’t possibly get through the evening without the distinct lack of a mother going unnoticed. “I’m afraid I’m not married.”

“Oh?” Sohee’s brows pinch together. “I’m terribly sorry, did she pass?”

“No, Yeji’s mother just isn’t in our lives.”

“I see,” the teacher’s mouth flattens. “That must be very difficult for you both, but especially for a young girl. I do hope you find a feminine influence to help with her upbringing, there’s only so much you can teach her as a man.”

Yoongi bites back a comment. This woman is still stuck in her bias of gender roles and family structures, and there’s no point in Yoongi arguing his case.

“Yes, well, I’m sure going to school will help with that. Won’t it, Sohee-ssi?” He smiles.

The teacher laughs, accepting his flattery, “You’re absolutely right, Yoongi-ssi. It’s good to meet you.”

He nods as she moves on, floating over to Jungkook who has just tucked his phone in his pocket. Yoongi can’t help but watch their interaction, curious if it will go any better. Jungkook appears to be alone here as well. Yoongi wonders—with a hum in his chest—if Jungkook is a single dad too. If he’s alone in this like Yoongi, eager for someone to relate to and bond with. If he is, then maybe this mixer isn’t a totally stupid idea after all. Maybe Yoongi will meet someone who understands that being 27 and unmarried with a child can in fact be a normal and happy way of living.

“Jungkook-ssi! How nice to see you again,” the teacher exclaims, making Yoongi’s eyebrows raise. “Have you been well? How is the planning going with Jihyo? Do you know where it will be at yet?”

“Oh, it’s going very well,” Jungkook replies, apparently on very familiar grounds with Sohee. “We’ll be having it in Seongnam, Gyeonggi-do. It should be really nice. I’m sure she’ll invite you, Sohee-noona.”

“Of course she will. I’ll talk with you both later, it’s lovely seeing you here Jungkook-ssi.”

“Yes, of course,” Jungkook nods to her and then the teacher steps away. Yoongi watches as he visibly relaxes in Sohee’s absence, as if the entire interaction was unwelcome. He looks up and Yoongi blinks as their gazes meet, not sure if he should be embarrassed for looking or not.

Jungkook comes over, a soft smile on his lips.

“Do you know her?” Yoongi can’t help but ask.

“Yes,” Jungkook sighs, “She can be a lot sometimes. Sohee’s very nice but she likes to be in people's business. It’s sort of weird to have someone I know teaching Chaeryong, but I guess I’ll get used to it.”

“Wouldn’t it be a relief to know one of her teachers? To know she’s in safe hands?” Yoongi questions, feeling himself that if he knew one of his daughter’s teachers, he’d feel less stressed about dropping her off in the mornings.

“No, not her. She’s a bit old-fashioned and I don’t want Chaeryong thinking—“ Jungkook frowns. “Well. I don’t want her believing the wrong things, I guess.”

“Oh, I understand. Every time I visit my parents with Yeji I’m scared they’re gonna start talking about her working as a teacher or a nurse or something they think is appropriate, or god forbid they scare her into thinking she’ll fail is she doesn’t study to death.”

“Dude, I totally understand. You know that drama SKY Castle?”

Yoongi nods, thrown off by the casual way Jungkook referred to him.

“Well, my older brother has been watching it and asked me the other week if he should buy Chaeryong one of those study cubes as a school gift. I nearly cussed him out.”

Yoongi barks out a laugh, louder than he meant to.

“Sorry—that’s just so relatable. My older brother keeps telling me that Yeji is gonna need a tutor so she can learn extra outside of school to get ahead and prep for high school and for entrance exams.”

“Like, university entrance exams?” Jungkook clarifies, bewildered.

“Yes!” Yoongi grins, as amused and horrified by it as Jungkook looks. “Crazy, right? I told him so and he just insists. I think he’s making up for being so lenient with me when I was a kid, or maybe he’s just projecting our father from when we were in school.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, “My brother doesn’t even have a kid of his own and acts like he knows what’s best. He’s not even that much older than me, I don’t understand how we can think so differently.”

“Same.”

“I was sort of terrible in school, honestly. And he did pretty well. So maybe he’s right,” Jungkook adds, quieter.

“Nah,” Yoongi waves it off. “Being good in school isn’t the same as it used to be. You can learn so much from other places, not just school.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“For as quickly as we’re progressing as a country there are still so many things that shock me,” Yoongi rambles, not meaning to turn this conversation political and yet here he is. “Like how come our education system is still allowing corporal punishment? And why in the hell do we think it’s a good idea to stifle the creativity of kids when we need new ideas to push us into the future?”

Jungkook shakes his head, “I don’t know, but that’s a damn good question.”

They smile at each other for a moment, Yoongi warm and validated and feeling far less alone than he was before. A clatter interrupts them, making them spin towards the classroom as the sound of someone crying out rings clear.

~

To say Yoongi is anxious wouldn’t give justice to the enormity of this moment. He holds tight to Yeji’s small hand as they board the bus. She’s wearing a backpack and a smile, still eating one of her apple slices from breakfast as she races for the nearest empty seat. Yoongi shows the driver their bus passes and follows after her, glad they live near the beginning of the bus route so it’s nearly empty. By the time they get to her school though, he knows it will practically be bursting full.

“Let’s see what we have in your backpack,” Yoongi hums as Yeji begins squirming in her seat. “Sit still for me, hon.”

“Appa,” she whines, “I have everything! Calm down.”

“But did I pack your colored pencils?”

“Yes! But I don’t want other people to use them,” Yeji crosses her arms and shifts her body so her backpack is away from Yoongi.

“But what if you make a friend? Won’t you want to share?”

“No.”

“Yeji, we’ve talked about this.”

“Appa,” she groans and rolls her eyes. He hates that she got that from him. “I’ll share other things. I’ll share my lunch.”

“No, you need to eat all of your lunch,” he chides, worried about her not getting enough food.

“But you just said I should share! Make up your mind, Appa.”

“Honey,” Yoongi sighs, not seeing the point in arguing further. She will learn, in time. “Appa will miss you today. We’ve never been away from each other so long.”

“You can go out, make some friends! Like I will,” Yeji smiles, shoving her dad’s side. “You should meet people.”

“Okay, okay, but only if you do.”

“I will! You better have a story to tell me when I get home, I can’t just talk all dinner like you always make me. My mouth gets tired and my food gets cold.”

Yoongi laughs, fondly rubbing his hand over the top of her head. She swats him away with a squeak, complaining that he’s messing up her hair. He rolls his eyes and then remembers that he’s been trying to train himself out of it, since he’s been a bad influence so far. At least he finally started to understand fashion a couple years ago, and now he knows how to dress Yeji properly. Well—at home. Unfortunately the only thing she gets to choose for school is her backpack and what brand of black shoes she wears, the rest is a uniform. But—he hopes enrolling her in a school focused on the arts allows to flourish in other ways. Besides, Yoongi remembers how comforting a school uniform can come to be. A barrier between your home life and school life; a reminder that everyone around you is just a kid too.

The bus squeaks to a stop, air wheezing out of it as it lowers to the pavement and Yoongi ushers Yeji off and onto the sidewalk, people flooding off the bus beside them. They allow themselves to be carried by the tide, Yeji holding tight onto Yoongi’s hand. She seems optimistic about today. She’s not scared, at least.

The school seems big even to Yoongi. Parents are all saying goodbye to their kids outside in the grass, some clinging to their mothers and crying.

“You ready, honey?” Yoongi crouches down to face his daughter. “You excited?”

“I’m very excited. I want to learn to write like you, Appa.”

Yoongi laughs and pulls her in for a hug, kissing her hair as she pushes at his chest.

“Appa, where will you meet me for lunch?” Yeji tilts her head in question.

“For lunch?” Yoongi repeats, “Oh, honey. You’ll be eating lunch here with your classmates. That’s why we packed you one, silly.”

“But I want to eat with you,” she frowns.

“We can eat together when I pick you up, okay? We can get a treat to celebrate your first day of school.”

“But I like eating lunch with you. I like when you cook.”

“I cooked your lunch,” Yoongi reminds her, “It will taste like home, I promise.”

“Appa.”

“Don’t worry, have fun today, okay?” He rubs her arm in comfort and she nods begrudgingly.

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Yoongi stands back up. “Want me to walk you to your classroom?”

“No! I’ll find it,” Yeji grins, looking at the school with a gleam in her eyes. “I’m going to go. You can leave now.”

“Alright,” Yoongi smiles down at her and she rolls her eyes. “Bye, honey. I’ll be right here when you’re done. Be safe and—“ Yeji turns and starts towards the door before he’s finished— “and remember to share!”

She waves goodbye and he returns it with enthusiasm. Pride is pricking at his eyes, threatening to wet his face with tears. That’s when he hears it. Bawling. A little girl is full-on sobbing into her father’s arms a dozen feet away. The dad’s back is to Yoongi, and he can see the girl’s face streaked with tears and red.

“I don’t want to go! I don’t want to! You can’t make me, Papa, you can’t make me!”

Yoongi doesn’t mean to stare, but she’s the only kindergartener left on the lawn. All the others have been escorted inside by their parents or went in on their own, and the bell is ringing. The very first school bell Yeji has heard, and now she has a dozen more years to endure. But he hopes that for her, it’s not just endurance. He hopes Yeji learns to thrive and makes good friends, and has a better time than he did.

“Cherry, sweets, it’s going to be good, I promise. Don’t you want friends that are your age? I promise it’s not scary.”

“I’m not scared,” the girl glares at her dad, “I just don’t want to. Why can’t you teach me? Or—“

“Chaeryong.”

The dad says something quietly to his daughter, and it dawns on Yoongi that they have met before, they met at the orientation. It’s Jungkook, and that must be his daughter, Chaeryong. Yoongi wonders briefly where her mother is, and if the mother is even in the picture, but the thought is pushed from his mind when Chaeryong at last seems convinced, and she sniffs hard. Jungkook stands, ruffles her hair, and pats her back until she’s walking dejectedly towards the school. She cries out when Jungkook tries to come with her, pushing him away as if he’s done some great misdeed.

It’s in this moment Jungkook turns around and meets Yoongi’s eyes that Yoongi realizes he probably should have left long ago.

“Hey. Yoongi-ssi, right?”

“Um, yeah. How are you?” Yoongi asks, feeling stupid. He rubs the back of his neck as Jungkook approaches and stops in front of him.

The taller is dressed much more casual than the last time they met. Yoongi would say he looks younger, but the bags beneath Jungkook’s eyes and the way his lips strain to smile say otherwise. He is a parent, after all. And that makes people grow up fast.

“I’m okay. Chaeryong has been fighting me for weeks about coming to school.”

“Did she not like the orientation?”

“Oh no, she liked it. But then she found out school isn’t just playing with blocks like daycare, it’s actual work.”

Yoongi shrugs, “They still play with blocks sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook smiles sheepishly. “How did Yeji take it?”

Yoongi feels find that the other man still remembers his daughters name, “I think she’s excited. It’ll be good for her to be around people her age instead of just me all day.”

Jungkook laughs, “Understandable. I just want Chaeryong to enjoy being a kid, and maybe like learning some things, but she gets very easily distracted.”

Yoongi nods.

“It’s good running into you again,” Jungkook smiles, and Yoongi warms. He hasn’t thought much about meeting other parents, but now that he has he’s realizing why it’s an important part of school culture. Yoongi is a single parent—a single dad, at that—and all anyone wants to do is tell him how he shouldn’t be raising his daughter alone.

“Yeah,” Yoongi agrees. “Same. I feel weird being a lone dad here, so it’s nice to see you here too.”

“Oh, yes,” Jungkook’s eyes widen and shakes the set of car keys that are in his hand. “You heading to work?”

“Nah, I work from home.”

“Really? That’s random.”

“What’s random?”

“I work from home too,” Jungkook explains.

“You do?” Yoongi’s eyebrows raise. “What do you do?”

Jungkook tucks his hands into his jean pockets and leans forwards on the balls of his feet before rocking back slightly, biting his bottom lip.

“What would you say to getting some coffee and talking about it?”

Yoongi blinks. And without thinking—

agrees.

~

“Kim Taehyung? You know, Vantae? Park Jimin? What about Slow Rabbit Games?”

Yoongi shakes his head at all three.

“Well,” Jungkook sips his steaming coffee, “I promise they’re huge streamers on Twitch. In South Korea, at least. I basically watch their streams and edit them down for bite-sized content on YouTube. It’s pretty cool, actually. I just have to spend a lot of time on the computer.”

“You get legit paid for that?” Yoongi asks, incredulous.

“Legit paid. It’s a huge market, honestly. There’s so many people out there who can film, but either hate editing or don’t have time for it. That’s where I come in, and it’s good money. I’m not rich by any means, but it’s enough for a good living and then some.”

“That’s so cool,” Yoongi comments around his Americano, “Even if I don’t totally get it.”

Jungkook grins, “Thanks. I like it a lot. It combines some of my favorite things—gaming and making videos. Even though it’s not my footage, I still get a lot of satisfaction from editing.”

Yoongi nods, smiling to himself.

They ended up walking together down the street a few blocks before ducking into the first coffee shop they walked past. It’s pretty busy—people lined up getting coffee to go, but the tables inside were practically empty. They didn’t talk much on the walk or in line, but once they sat down—Jungkook with a latte and Yoongi with a mocha, each in pure white mugs—conversation began to flow. Jungkook explained about being an online video editor, the popular creators he works for, and why he enjoys it.

“So what do you do, Yoongi-ssi?”

“Oh, um,” Yoongi rubs the back of his neck, “I’m a writer.”

“Really? Like—of books?”

Yoongi sucks in a breath, “Yeah.”

“Woah, what? That’s so cool!”

“It’s a dying art,” Yoongi waves his compliment off. “Old ladies and single ladies read my stuff and that’s about it.”

Jungkook laughs, “Well at least you know your demographic. How many books have you written?”

“Well, technically, 17.”

“No shit,” Jungkook deadpans, and it’s the frost time Yoongi’s heard him swear which makes him giddy for some reason. He feels like it’s a sign they’ve gotten more comfortable with each other already. “That’s wild.”

“I’ve been writing since I was, like, 13. So that helps. Only 9 of them have published.”

“Only—holy shit—only 9?” Jungkook gapes. “That’s so crazy, Yoongi-ssi! 9?! You must be a really amazing writer. I’m sure I must have seen your stuff somewhere. Do you write under a pen name?”

“Yeah, I don’t exactly want my real name attached to them. I sort of feel like the part of me that wrote the books is a character too—if that makes any sense? Like, they’re my books, sure. But when I write I feel like a different person, so I wanted to reflect that.”

Jungkook nods along to Yoongi’s words, making him feel heard—understood.

“What’s your pen name?”

Yoongi scrunches his nose, “If I tell you do you promise not to look up my books?”

“Why wouldn’t I look up your books?”

“Because I don’t want you to see them.”

Jungkook makes a sour face, “Why not?”

Yoongi shrugs awkwardly, “You might judge me for them.”

“Judge? Yoongi-ssi the only way I’m going to judge you is by basking in your talent and hard work to being a published fucking author of 9 books.”

“You keep saying that like it means anything,” Yoongi scrunches his nose, “It’s not that big a deal.”

“I wholeheartedly disagree,” Jungkook replies simply. “You don’t need to undersell yourself. But really, if you don’t want me to look them up I won’t—“ Jungkook tilts his head and his lips quirk. Yoongi would call it a smirk, but if it were a smirk then this would start to feel a lot more like flirting and he knows that can’t possibly be what the other man is going for. “I’d still like to know your pen name, though.”

“Suga,” Yoongi tells him quietly, hoping the name isn’t familiar to him.

“Suga,” Jungkook says it, and it sounds nice coming from him. “Like sugar?”

“Yeah, kinda. It comes from shooting guard, though. The position in basketball.”

“No way! That’s so clever!”

“My agent came up with it, he’s a genius,” Yoongi swirls his coffee around and leans back in the booth. “He helped me a lot at the beginning when I was trying to find my style and figure out how to pitch my books, and somehow we clicked and it’s been great for us ever since.”

“Did you play basketball? Is that why he chose that name?”

“Yeah, I loved it in high school. I was pretty good, actually,” Yoongi doesn’t mind bragging a little.

Jungkook grins wide, “Ah, I keep trying to get Chaeryong into something more active but she hates everything we try. Maybe basketball would be good for her. Learn coordination, how to be a team player.”

“We could do a father-daughter game sometime,” the suggestion slips out before Yoongi can stop it.

“Oh,” Jungkook bites his bottom lip, “Like me and Chaeryong against you and Yeji?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi confirms, breathless and inwardly berating himself for being so forward. He really hopes it’s harmless—which it is. An innocent suggestion.

“As long as they don’t hate each other’s guts for some reason, I think that could be great,” Jungkook finishes his latte. “I can’t remember the last time I played but I know I’m decent.”

“Are you?” Yoongi perks up in interest. “Did you used to play?”

“I played a few seasons, but I got into baseball and wrestling for the last half of secondary school and didn’t have time for it. I’ve basically played every sport, though.”

“And yet you watch video games for a living,” Yoongi teases.

Jungkook snorts, “You have me there. I should really be setting a better example, shouldn’t I?”

“Nah,” Yoongi assures him, “I’m sure you’re doing just fine.”

“Hopefully. I try and have us eat healthy, at least. So many smoothies—so many smoothies,” Jungkook repeats, a haunted look in his eyes. “I go to the gym in the morning too, so that helps. Not that Chaeryong sees that or can learn from it. Maybe I should take her with me? But a gym isn’t a place for a kid...”

Jungkook rambles on, and Yoongi finds himself propping his head up on his fist and listening. Jungkook is sort of funny, definitely quirky, and quite frankly—really, really, really cute. Yoongi noticed it when they first met at orientation, but he can’t ignore it anymore. Not when Jungkook’s words slip together as he speaks, a lisp coming out. Not when Jungkook keeps strumming the side of his mug with fingers, lost in thought. The other’s hair is dark and flat, parted off to one side and hanging a little long around his face. His front teeth are especially cute, a little big, and the same goes for his nose. He’s so cute—and it’s been awhile since Yoongi noticed someone like this. Been awhile since he took the time to get to know someone new, period.

“How old are you?” Jungkook asks suddenly, snapping Yoongi out of his trance.

“Um, I’m 27.”

“Oh, I’m 23.”

“Cool,” Yoongi says, and then backtracks. “You had Chaeryong when you were 17?”

“Ah,” Jungkook glances away and runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah. I mean, technically I was 18 when she was born but—same difference. I was a stupid teenager. She’s the light of my life, though. I can’t complain, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Yoongi hums in agreement, “I didn’t mean to be a dad, either.”

“Really?” Jungkook peers at him, wide eyes revealing his intrigue.

“Yeah. She was a mistake, but a miracle at the same time. I was in college when it happened, and her mom had the baby but she blamed me for everything.”

“Are you not—?” Jungkook makes a noncommittal gesture.

“Yeah. We’re not together.” Yoongi takes a deep breath. “She chose not to be a part of our lives.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Yoongi shrugs, “I wasn’t in love with her or anything. I’m just glad I already had my book career starting, though. I was lucky to have a job where I could afford to stay home and take care of Yeji when she was a baby.”

“Gosh,” Jungkook grins, “Are you sure I can’t Google your books?”

“Absolutely not!” Yoongi insists, mirroring the smile. Appreciating the shift in mood.

“Damn. Is it horror?”

“Okay if there’s one thing I can assure you of, Jungkook-ssi, it’s that I don’t write horror.”

“Not your cup of tea?”

“Hell no. No, thank you,” Yoongi shudders at the thought of gore and terror.

“Hmm,” Jungkook hums, eyes sparkling.

~

The first week of school is over, and Yeji can’t wait to go back.

“Appa, why can’t I go to school tomorrow? Shouldn’t it be every day? What if the stuff I learned falls out of my brain, and I have to start all over again?”

“I don’t think that will happen. Sit, let me get your food,” Yoongi points at her chair at the round dinner table. A steaming vessel of hotpot is on the kitchen counter, and he’s been trying to scoop it into bowls for the past ten minutes but Yeji has been running around their apartment nonstop with her pterodactyl toys, making them battle in mid air as she stands on the couch and Yoongi pesters her to get down before she breaks something.

“Fine,” she slouches into her seat, setting her figures on the table in front of her. Yoongi bites back a sigh, taking what wins he can get. “I like my teachers, Appa. What were your teachers like?”

“My teachers?” Yoongi walks over to the table and set the bowls down, carefully handing Yeji chopsticks and a spoon (hoping she’s learned from last time and won’t make a mess). “My teachers were fine.”

“Who was your favorite teacher? Your Korean teacher?”

“No,” Yoongi takes his spot on the table and takes his chopsticks in hand. “My favorite teacher was my music teacher. She taught me piano when I was your age. That was like, 20 years ago.”

“But you don’t play piano,” Yeji slurps up a bite of the meal, and Yoongi smiles when she appears to enjoy it and starts devouring more.

“I used to. But she taught me about life, not just about piano. She taught me to follow my passions, even if it was hard.”

“What’s that?”

“Passions?”

“Yeah. What’s that mean?”

“It’s like—“ Yoongi considers how to put the feeling into words— “They’re the things that make you happy. So like, I’m a writer, and that makes me happy. So writing is my passion.” 

“Oh, okay. So can dinosaurs be a passion?” Yeji picks back up her toys, elbows hovering dangerously over her food.

“Absolutely,” Yoongi gives her a pointed look, “But they’re a passion that belongs off the dinner table so we can eat and not spill anything, right honey?” 

Yeji rolls her eyes and sets the pterodactyls in the seat beside her, out of the way.

“Is Namjoon-samchon coming over?” Yeji asks when she reaches the end of her bowl, picking it up and tilting it back to drink up the remainder of the hotpot.

“Yes, he is,” Yoongi says, standing up and taking Yeji’s dish when she empty’s it along with his own. “We’re gonna behave tonight, right?”

“I just don’t understand why I can’t hang out with you guys,” Yeji frowns.

“You can, but just for a little bit, hon. Then you know you gotta go to sleep. You wanna be energized for school, right?”

“I will be! Can’t I stay up ten minutes extra? I like samchon.”

“We’ll see, Yeji. But for now, plan on bed time at 8 o’clock, as always.”

“Okay,” she says in defeat, before leaping up from the table with her dinosaurs. “Can I be excused?” She calls out as she runs off.

Yoongi rolls his eyes as she disappears into her bedroom, “Yes!”

He takes the bowls to the sink and sprays them out, soaping up his sponge and setting them on the dish rack. There’s no dishwasher in this apartment, but he figured that was a small trade off for him and Yeji having two proper rooms. They had had to move a couple years ago when the school shut down near their old place, he wanted them to be closer to a good school for when she began. So far, this week is proving that was right the move. Especially since they have to rely on public transport (Yoongi doesn’t have his license), being closer is better.

The cupboard is overflowing with plastic tubaware that Yoongi searches through for a lunch-sized container so Yeji can take leftovers for lunch tomorrow, and then puts the rest in another so he can eat it later, or make Namjoon take some home with him. Yoongi always makes twice as much food as they need. It’s not necessarily out of habit, but more so because he remembers not having enough food at some points in his life, and now that he can afford it he makes extra. He likes feeding other people too, so he sometimes gives food to the old lady across the hall or to their landlord—a sweet old man with four cats.

He hears his phone ding and makes his way to the couch. Yoongi tucks himself into one of the corners, turning the lamp on and picking up his phone. He’s expecting an I’m running late text from Namjoon, and is surprised to see it’s a message from Jungkook instead.

They exchanged numbers after their coffee date—coffee chat? He’s not sure what to call that, but it had been extremely nice and they thought maybe they could convince their daughters of the basketball game. Secretly, Yoongi just wants to get in the court again and see how Jungkook does, but it’s not like he could say that.

Jungkook

so something happened

before I tell you what it is

let me assure you it was an ACCIDENT

Yoongi laughs to himself,  entertained by the way the younger man texts. Jungkook doesn’t bother with hellos or small talk, he gets right into it. Truly, it’s been a breath of fresh air texting him these past few days. It helps Yoongi destress when his story isn’t going his way. Besides, he hasn’t had a new friend since Hoseok and Seokjin—and that was in college. He’s known Namjoon for 8 years, since they first met at school and clicked instantly. Jungkook and Yoongi and seem to be clicking too, but they talk about different stuff than Yoongi usually does with Namjoon. They keep sending each other dad memes and jokes about working at home. Yoongi always laughs—literally—out loud, and wonders when he got so easy to please.

Yoongi

what happened 

Jungkook

I was at a little shop thing looking for a gift to get my mom and I may or may not have seen a book written by you there

Yoongi

oh no

which one

Jungkook

well there was a drawing of a buff dude on the front and a lady with really long hair next to him?

Yoongi

you’re gonna have to be more specific

Jungkook

okay well it was called “sound of sirens”

Yoongi

Tell me you didn’t pick it up

Jungkook

Well

See

You only made me promise not to google your books

You didn’t say anything about running into them at the store

Yoongi

OH NO

There’s a knock at the door and Yoongi jerks, locking his phone with a slightly flushed sensation on his skin. 

“Yeji! Namjoon-samchon is here!”

“Samchon!” Yeji yells and bursts from her room, running over to stand at Yoongi’s side as he unlocks the door.

“Hey, Yeji,” Namjoon smiles his dimpled smile to her as he comes inside. “Woah, what kind of dinosaurs are those?” 

Namjoon gets down to her height as Yoongi shuts the door, listening with rapt attention as Yeji describes pterodactyls and, specifically, the tragic life story of her dinosaur named Scar who’s had a few battles with a T-Rex. Yoongi watches them fondly as he shuffles back to the kitchen, which is practically a small nook in the living room. He puts on the kettle for some maeshil-cha and grabs some mugs form the cupboard, glancing at the clock above the stove to check the time. Yeji has about an hour before bed, but she’s still completely wound up. He’s hoping she tones it down before long. Yoongi has been working hard to get a routine down with her, but she tends to deviate from the plan rather quickly.

The kettle is whistling before Yeji finishes her story, and then she’s dragging Namjoon into her bedroom to show off her growing collection of prehistoric beasts that Yoongi buys for her from the 1,000 won bin at the corner store.

Namjoon re-emerges as Yoongi is pouring milk into the cups of maeshil-cha, Yeji skipping behind him with a bright smile. Yoongi hands him a mug, and then they go to sit on the couch. Yeji tells Namjoon about her week at school, stories Yoongi has already heard, so he opens his phone back up.

Jungkook

Hyung I cannot believe you kept it from me that you write steamy! romance! novels

I’m honestly offended

Sound of sirens is so far a gold mine

I’m loving everything about it

Javier is such a dynamic character for being a pirate

He really loves the island

THE SCENE WHERE HE WAS PEEKING OVER THE ROCKS AT NAOMI

I YELLED

TOPLESS SIRENS HYUNG

I understand why you didn’t want to me to google these but honestly you have nothing to be ashamed of??? You’re a great writer no matter what you’re writing about

Everything about javier is so incredibly extra

Like he really had fish bait in his pockets? And a slingshot?

the poetry part hyung

You write poetry?

It’s really beautiful

Wait

Unless that was a real poem you just used

But

I like it anyway

Yoongi can’t stop himself from smiling, and smiling wide for that matter.

“What’s so funny?” Namjoon asks. 

“Huh? Nothing,” Yoongi flips his phone over and clears his throat.

Namjoon makes a disbelieving face but let’s it go, he’ll probably make Yoongi spill the beans when Yeji goes to bed. They end up watching twenty minutes of a cartoon on the television, and then send Yeji to put on her pajamas and brush her teeth. She does so with some reluctance, but luckily the show calmed her down and she yawns as she trudges into the bathroom. Namjoon knocks Yoongi’s knee with one socked foot, giving him a pointed look as he sets his mug on the coffee table.

“So? What’s got you smiling and antsy to look at your phone?” 

“I—“ Yoongi rubs his neck— “I’ve been talking to one of the parents I met at Yeji’s orientation. We got coffee this week and we’ve just been, you know, messaging.” 

“Oh?” Namjoon gets that look in his eyes that says he’s gonna milk Yoongi’s social life for all its worth, dig up all the dirt about whoever it is Yoongi mentions and then proceed to beg Yoongi for details of anything else that might happen between them. “Do tell. Is it a mom or a dad?”

“A dad,” Yoongi mumbles.

“Oh.”

“No, not oh, we’re just friends.”

“Okay. But is he a single dad?” Namjoon emphasizes.

“Yeah, I think so. He hasn’t mentioned anyone and he’s been alone every time I’ve seen him. He always drops his daughter off in the morning and it takes like 15 minutes for him to convince her to go into the school.” 

“Have you been getting coffee all week?”

“No,” Yoongi denies defensively.

“Hey,” Namjoon puts his hands up in surrender, “I was just wondering.”

“Well, we haven’t. We just say hi. We’re talking about taking the kids to play basketball sometime.”

“Really? He plays?” 

“He did, like me, apparently.”

“What’s his name?” Namjoon asks with an attempt at nonchalance. 

Yoongi squints at him, “You can’t stalk him.”

“I won’t!” Namjoon insists, but Yoongi doesn’t believe him.

“I’m not gonna tell you.”

“What? I’m trustworthy, hyung.”

“Are you?” Yoongi jokes, laughing. “His name is Jungkook, okay? That’s all you need to know. Everything you learn about him should come from me, okay?”

“Oh, so you do plan on getting to know him better,” Namjoon cocks an eyebrow.

“I need dad friends, Joon. That’s all.”

“But is he handsome?”

“Well,” Yoongi blushes, “Yes. But that’s not the point.”

“But is he cute?”

“Well, yes.”

“Double threat,” Namjoon smirks. “Is he hot?”

“You know not every new relationship I have has to be for the purpose of romance right?” Yoongi argues.

Namjoon ignores him, taking Yoongi’s non-answer as an answer. “So he is hot. A triple threat. You don’t stand a chance, hyung.”

“Shut up, Joon.”

“Appa!” Yeji says from behind Yoongi, making him crane his neck to see her. “You told me not to say that!”

“You’re right, honey. I shouldn’t have said that,” Yoongi quickly corrects himself, falling back into dad-mode. “Sorry, Namjoon. I won’t say that to you again. I should have just asked you politely to be quiet.”

Namjoon plays along, in uncle mode, “It’s okay, hyung. Apology accepted.”

“Samchon, will you tuck me in?” Yeji asks, ready for bed now.

“Of course,” Namjoon gets up. “Say good night to Appa first.” 

Yeji hugs Yoongi goodnight and he kisses her hair, telling her sweet dreams. Namjoon leads her to her room and Yoongi hears murmurs of their exchange.

He can’t help but look at his phone again.

Jungkook

Sorry for spamming you but I really like your book

Yes I bought it

And if I run into another one, I’ll buy it too

I can’t stop cackling at the siren sex scene so I’m sorry if that wasn’t suppose to be funny but it is

I’m easily amused so

Cherry tried to read over my shoulder

Thank goodness she can’t read yet

I don’t want the sentence

“He gripped onto her feathery breasts and nuzzled his face between them” ingrained into her memory

What a nightmare that would be to explain to my family if she repeated it

Are you working on your next book right now?

Yoongi

I’m horrified and honored that you are reading my book

Yes I’m working on my next one

I promise there’s less feathers

Jungkook

Damn

I didn’t mind the feathers

Yoongi

I hope you’re joking

Jungkook

you’ll never know :3

Yoongi

:0

Someone coughs distinctly and Yoongi finds Namjoon watching him, more amused than ever as he passes by and sits back on the couch.

“I’m gone for two seconds and you’re texting him?”

“No,” Yoongi pouts.

“Yes,” Namjoon challenges.

“Maybe. But you don’t need to make such a big deal of it.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m just excited you’re making friends.”

“I’m not the one in kindergarten, Joon.”

Namjoon chuckles, “Okay hyung.”

~

It’s Open House night at Yeji’s school, and they still haven’t gone to play basketball yet. But, Jungkook and Yoongi have gone for coffee three more times after dropping their daughters off for school. Two of those times they brought their laptops and just worked across from each other for 7 hours until it was time to go back to the school. They never talked much, just about sharing food and whenever Yoongi’s vocabulary bank malfunctioned he’d ask Jungkook to come up with synonyms or words that have a particular meaning Yoongi was attempting to convey concisely.

Jungkook had shown Yoongi the video game streamers he edited for and pointed at the screen, showing off the functions of the program he uses and explaining different features. It was nice to not be alone, and to get along with someone so effortlessly. If Yoongi ever hit a block in his writing, he’d just stare at Jungkook. The younger was always wearing big headphones and squinting at his computer screen, rarely getting distracted or stuck. Jungkook said it was because he had deadlines, which motivated him to work faster. Yoongi said that he has deadlines for getting pages done too, but it doesn’t push him to work any harder. If an idea isn’t coming, then he can’t just force it out. 

Open House night basically means the students have just completed various projects, and now parents are obligated to come see them and get tours from their students of the school—their desks, cubbies, and things around the classroom. Yoongi wouldn’t go, but Yeji wants to and he wants to make her happy. He also knows Jungkook is going, and he wouldn’t mind seeing him. 

They still text each other frequently, and Yoongi still denies to Namjoon that there’s anything else happening between them. Not because there might actually be something there and Yoongi isn’t ready to admit it, but because there actually isn’t anything happening. Yoongi appreciates Jungkook as a friend, a fellow parent, but they don’t know each other well enough for Yoongi be overly attached, and they haven’t done anything vaguely romantic together that could cause Yoongi to get butterflies in his stomach. Perhaps most importantly, both of their priorities are their daughters—and from that stems a deep respect for each other as parents, and an understanding that there’s no need for things to be complicated. They’re friends, and Yoongi is glad for it.

“Appa, come on!” Yeji leads Yoongi by his sleeve into the large classroom, straight for a desk in the center of the room. “This is where I sit all day! Come sit down and try it.”

Yoongi laughs and squeezes himself into her seat. He stares at the front of the room, the date is written on the board and there’s a list of names with stars beside them. Yeji’s name is written there in blue erasable marker, and he smiles to himself.

“You made the Star List?”

“Yes! I wanted to surprise you.”

“That’s amazing, Yeji. Congratulations!” They high five and she proceeds to open up the lid of her desk to show off her collection of crayons, teeny tiny pencils, and a rather disturbing pile of colored pencil lead that’s snapped off the tops. They look like sprinkles, and Yoongi pokes them in amusement.

“Isn’t it pretty? I like all the colors,” Yeji explains. 

“Oh, yes,” Yoongi stifles a laugh, “That’s a lot of colored pencils you went through.”

“They’re just hard to sharpen,” Yeji says, looking tall next to Yoongi as he sits in her small desk. “All the kids collect the tips. Chaeryong has the most, I’m jealous of hers.” 

“Do you get along with—“

“Chaeryong!” Yeji practically screams as the other girl walks in the door.

Chaeryong waves shyly and then turns away to look up at—not Jungkook. Yoongi does a double take. The woman with Chaeryong is undoubtedly her mother, they’re practically identical. But there’s something about her mother that’s familiar to Yoongi for a completely different reason, but he can’t quite place her. She’s dressed in a sleek power suit, wearing expensive but subtle jewelry on her neck, ears, and fingers. She has a small leather clutch in hand that she uses to usher Chaeryong towards her desk.

“Cherry says her mom is a model,” Yeji whispers to Yoongi, “Do you think she’s pretty?”

“A model? Of course she’s pretty,” Recognition clicks, and now Yoongi can recall magazine covers and ads where the woman has starred. It makes sense now, why Jungkook hasn’t ever mentioned her besides a passing remark about Chaeryong’s mom—because she’s a celebrity in most people's book, and that most certainly also means she’s fairly absent from her daughter’s life. 

“We should go talk to her! I want to know what her job is like,” Yeji suggests.

“Maybe, honey. But right now she’s here to see Chaeryong’s things, why don’t we go into the hall and you can show me where your poster is hanging?”

“Okay,” Yeji agrees, then frowns, “They hung my poster in a stupid place.”

“Oh?” Yoongi ruffles her hair as he stands again and follows her out of the room. “Why don’t you like it?”

“It’s on the very end, right next to the bathroom. It’s gross,” she complains.

“Oh, that kinda sucks. But it doesn’t matter because your poster is amazing anyway,” Yoongi assures her.

“How do you know? You haven’t seen it yet.”

“True.”

They meet with the science teacher, the theatre teacher, the gym and art teacher. Yeji whispers to Yoongi about their classes and how nice they are, and they don’t say hello to Sohee, the math teacher, this time. It’s not on purpose they avoid her, it’s that she’s deep in conversation with Chaeryong’s mother. In fact— 

“Did you know that Sohee-ssi is Chaeryong’s aunt?” Yeji asks suddenly.

“She is?”

“Yep! It’s her mom’s sister. I think it’s funny how she still calls her teacher in class though.” 

“Huh,” Yoongi quirks his mouth in interest, and then decides it’s probably about time to head home. The buses should be less crowded now, and they’ve seen everything Yeji has to show him. “Ready to head home?”

“Yeah!”

~

Jungkook

hey

I think chaeryong and yeji are friends now

Yoongi

I know!!!! I’m excited for them

Jungkook

Betrayal

You knew and didn’t immediately message me?

Unfriended 

Yoongi

you can’t see me but I’m eye rolling

Jungkook

I figured

Basketball soon then?

Yoongi

Yes!!!

I didn’t want to force them to hang out before you know but I’m glad they like each other on their own anyway

Jungkook

Agreed

Did you get through that sticky part in your book?

Yoongi

Yes I did

Jungkook

Oh! What did you do about the stubborn bulls?

Yoongi

Deleted that entire chunk. They were literally and metaphorically a road block

Jungkook

Wow I love how you just yeeted them out of there as a solution

Yoongi

Me too

It felt good

No more bulls, the train going full speed ahead

I might have a steamy scene in a train car

Jungkook

We love a steamy train car

Omg

Like titanic and the steamy carriage

Yoongi

We don’t talk about dicaprio in this house

Jungkook

What

Why

You’re literally a romance novel author

How do you not like dicaprio

Yoongi

Overrated

I don’t like his face

Jungkook

I can’t believe this

Seriously???? No DiCaprio?? Not even Romeo and Juliet???

Yoongi

ROMEO AND JULIET IS A BAD LOVE STORY

THERE

I SAID IT

Jungkook

yikes I really struck a nerve huh

Yoongi

I’m sorry but Shakespeare is dumb why is an old white dude have all this fame when he’s been dead 600 years and he had toxic storylines

Jungkook

You got me there

You know people think he could have been gay

Since he wrote letters to men and stuff

Yoongi

...

really?

not that it matters I still don’t like him but

Jungkook

Yeah really

And also valid

I never said I did like him

I think you have to be western for Shakespeare to really matter

Yoongi

yeah

What’s your ideal love story 

Jungkook

Love 911 

Yoongi

Really? 

Jungkook

Yes

A bells ringing when you meet your soulmate

Yoongi

Damn

I should write a soulmate book 

Jungkook

YOU SHOULD

I mean I appreciate that you’re doing a heist story right now that’s pretty legit

But a soulmate book would be really pure

Yoongi

hmmmmm my gears are turning

Jungkook

!!

I should mention 

Yoongi

don’t tell me,, 

Jungkook

so I read your vampire book

and

10/10

lowkey thought that heather would end up with mikasa though??? kinda felt better than her being with pliath

Yoongi

yes well funny story

originally it was a wlw story

but my editor didn’t approve it

so I had to change it

Jungkook

WHAT

I'LL FIGHT

I'LL FIGHT HIM

THEIR STORY WAS so much more honest and real what how could he not like it????

Yoongi

He just didn’t think it would sell

He did like it

Just

You know

Have to pay the bills so I made the change

Jungkook

I can’t believe this

Big sigh

Yoongi

if you wanted...

Jungkook

?

WAIT

Yoongi

I could send you the original transcript? where mikasa and heather are together?

Jungkook

YES BITCHHHHHHHHH

YES

sorry

I’m excited

Yes if you wouldn’t mind I’d be deeply honored to read that

Yoongi

Give me a few, I’ll send it

Jungkook

Okay

Thank you

Thank you for trusting me with it

Yoongi

Of course

Jungkook

hyung

would it be weird to say that I really appreciate you? Like you’ve been such a good friend and I enjoy talking to you so much

Our coffee dates are so great too I get so much more work done when I’m not alone

ahhh

Sorry

Yoongi

No it’s not weird

I appreciate you too

Really your texts get me through the day sometimes

I’m all alone without Yeji here and my other friends are busy with work and their life and idk

Ours sort of match up somehow and that’s been really nice 

Jungkook

Yeah

Yeah I agree

~

Three months into school and Yoongi and Jungkook are doing their weekly grocery shopping trip together. They each have their own cart, pushing them beside each other. Comparing coupons, prices, and bundle deals they pick out ramen, eggs, and rice together. They buy different drinks, different breakfast foods, and then rendezvous in the produce section. They spend about ten minutes picking up avocados and seeing whether they’re rocks or marshmallows.

“That’s an abhorrent amount of calpis that you have,” Yoongi points at the two twelve packs of Japanese soda Jungkook has in his cart.

“Oh look at you and your fancy author lingo,” Jungkook teases, making a face.

“It’s not fancy. And I guess I’m not one to judge,” Yoongi peers down at his yakult bottles, rolling around in the bottom of the basket.

“No, you’re not. I get the feeling you probably like boba, too.”

“I do like boba,” Yoongi admits, “It’s a guilty pleasure of mine.”

“I took Chaeryong to get it once and now she goes ballistic every time she sees it, she just wants it again.”

“Then why don’t you get it for her?”

“Oh my god, the way she slurps,” Jungkook shudders at the memory, arms resting on his grocery cart. “It’s so gross. I can’t stand it—and I can stand a lot of gross things. If she wants it again it will have to be with her mother, not me.”

Yoongi laughs, “Sounds fair. Maybe it could be a birthday treat, though.”

“That’s also fair,” Jungkook agrees as they start towards the checkout lines. “I bet you I saved more than you on my purchases.”

“No way, I’m a coupon hound.”

“Well I took advantage of great deals.”

“Buy five get one free isn’t a great deal, it’s a rip off. Now you have six jugs of detergent, do you really need that many?”

“Well now I don’t have to get new detergent for at least 6 months, right? Plus, this is my favorite flavor.”

Yoongi gasps, “Scent. Scent. Scent. You don’t eat detergent, you smell it.”

“Whatever, hyung. I saw you put those toothbrushes in your basket so don’t even play.”

Yoongi just grins to himself as they get in line and Yoongi starts unloading his goods onto the conveyor belt.

After paying, bagging, and leaving the store they both walk with far too much weighing them down back towards the school. Initially the plan had been to go to the coffee shop, as usual, but Jungkook has said he needed to do shopping and Yoongi jumped on the chance to do it together. The bus stop he needs is right out front of the school, and Jungkook parked his car somewhere nearby. When they get there Yoongi stops at the bus pole and sets his stuff down.

“What are you doing?” Jungkook asks.

Yoongi points a thumb at the sign, “Bus.”

“Nuh uh,” Jungkook shakes his head, “I’m giving you a ride home.”

“What? No, it’s fine. I can take the bus. You got milk and stuff that you need to get home.”

“Well so do you,” Jungkook points out. “I could get you home and back to my house in my car faster than you can get home on the bus.”

“I don’t want to inconvenience you. You don’t even know where I live.”

“Guess you’ll have to tell me then, huh?” Jungkook grins.

And before Yoongi can stop him, Jungkook is scooping up one of Yoongi’s grocery bags and running off.

“Hey!” 

Jungkook walks backwards, and Yoongi can see his smirk even at this distance as he calls out, “Guess you have to come with me, huh?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes but chases after him.

It’s not hard to yes to what he really wanted anyway.

See, the thing about Jungkook is that he tends to make Yoongi forget to put up his serious, mature front that he wears among other parents, with his own parents, in front of anyone who might doubt his abilities just because he’s a single dad. Jungkook reminds him that he’s allowed to have friends, allowed to have fun, and still make the most of his days even though he has immense responsibility.

Jungkook’s car is nice. He must get more dough than he let on initially from video editing, but it’s not like Yoongi can blame him. Yoongi—technically—has a lot of money. His books, even though they’re ridiculous raunchy fairytales, sell crazy well. He has far more saved up than he needs, he has Yeji’s college long since paid for—he’s golden. Still, he’s terrified of losing it all somehow. Scared his books will stop doing well, and even more nervous some disastrous event will take place and he’ll need all that money just to survive. Instead of living like he has cash to spare, he lives like he doesn’t. It keeps him honest, and he thinks it will help a lot to teach Yeji humbleness and to value hard work.

They put everything in Jungkook’s trunk and then the younger rolls down all the windows, opens the sun roof, and tells Yoongi to play some music off his phone.

Yoongi picks his favorite Jay Park album, he’s hip these days and Yoongi has found himself mesmerized both by his—cough, visuals—and his musical style. Jungkook turns up the bass booster and sticks his tongue out with a wild smile. Yoongi laughs and enjoys the way the wind blows through his hair as they drive. Somewhere between the school and home Yoongi gets lost in the music, the sound of tires over cement, and can’t take his eyes off Jungkook’s hands on the steering wheel. They’re big, firmly gripping the leather, and Yoongi vaguely wonders what they would feel like intertwined with his own. The thought is fleeting, and disappears when they reach a stop light. He takes a deep breath.

“Thank you, Jungkook-ah.”

“It’s no problem.”

“I know, but still. I’ve never had so much fun grocery shopping.”

“Me either, honestly. I usually end up arguing about what to spend money on and what’s good for Chaeryong and what’s not. I certainly am never allowed to binge so much on calpis. I only drink it so I don’t drink soju, though. So I don’t see why it’s an issue.” 

“Do like red wine?” Yoongi asks.

Jungkook groans and looks at Yoongi with heady eyes, “I love red wine. But I hate when people act like they’re wine connoisseurs when really they know all the boxed shit tastes the same as the bottled stuff it’s totally delicious.”

Yoongi cackles, “Boxed wine is the GOAT.”

“Boxed wine is the GOAT! Thank you. I appreciate that,” Jungkook smiles so wide his eyes almost disappear, his nose scrunched up.

They get to Yoongi’s apartment and Jungkook helps carry his stuff up stairs to his door. It’s quiet as they unload the groceries from the bags, and maybe Yoongi should be telling Jungkook to go—he doesn’t need help, but thank you—but he can’t. Something stops him. He likes Jungkook’s company too much. Maybe it’s selfish of him, but he can’t find it in himself to feel bad for wanting to feel happy.

“Oh my god, is this yours?” Jungkook straightens up from where he was bent over in the fridge, opening a jar of kimchi.

“Oh, yeah. I make it homemade.”

The taller inhales and his eyes roll back before his fixes Yoongi with a hungry gaze, “This smells so fucking good. Jesus. I should start making my own kimchi. I’m so jealous right now, you don’t understand.”

Jungkook sets the jar back down and shuts the refrigerator. All the food has been put away, and now all that is left is goodbye. Yoongi fumbles with the ends of his sweater, not sure what to say but not exactly uncomfortable.

“Hyung.”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something? It’s okay if, uh, you don’t want to answer,” Jungkook adds in a rush. 

“Sure,” Yoongi figures there’s no harm in it.

“Where’s Yeji’s mom?”

Well, that’s not what Yoongi expected. At the same time, it’s taken three months for Jungkook to ask for more details and Yoongi appreciates that more than he can express. Most people who approach Yoongi demand an explanation like they’re entitled to know about his personal life. They don’t give him the option to say nothing, and they certainly don’t get to know him first. Jungkook knows him now, and Yoongi trusts him. He doesn’t mind talking about what happened with people he trusts, he just minds when they judge him for it. 

Yoongi pulls himself up to sit on the kitchen counter across from Jungkook, who is leaning his back against the fridge. His hair is fluffy today, and he’s wearing a sweater with a collared shirt underneath. He’s always dressed nicely, as if he has someone to impress. If there’s anything about Jungkook that feels off, it’s the way he dresses. It’s like he never dresses for himself.

“She’s fine. She’s good. She’s married, even. She’s a doctor at a hospital in Gangnam. She wanted to stay in school and work her way up in the field, and she knew she wouldn’t have the time for a kid,” Yoongi tells the story backwards. He finds it’s easier that way. He can talk about her and not so much himself. “And she didn’t have time for a relationship either. She told me that she didn’t want to raise the baby, but she was going to have it. We didn’t really know each other, we just had met at a party a couple times in college and got drunk and slept together. In the end she gave me the choice of raising Yeji, or having her put up for adoption.

“I didn’t like the sound of that. And I had already been selling my books and doing well financially, so I finished my last year in school, she had Yeji, and I took her. We haven’t really—“ Yoongi shrugs— “I don’t know. We haven’t really talked since.”

“Are you okay with that?”

Yoongi stares at Jungkook’s shoes, “I think so. If Yeji wasn’t going to be the priority in her life, then we probably couldn’t have made it work anyway.” 

“You seem to do so well on your own. It’s weird but—I—I almost couldn’t imagine you having a wife,” Their eyes meet as Jungkook turns pale and looks at Yoongi in horror. “I’m sorry. That sounded terrible. I didn’t mean it like that. Just that you’re so independent and sure of yourself, and just that you seem to have more than enough to give Yeji and she seems so well-rounded and—“

Yoongi laughs, making Jungkook appear more confused.

“Jungkook-ah, don’t worry about it. You’re absolutely right, I don’t think a wife would suit me. Not just because I like being a single parent, in a lot of ways, but also because I’m gay.”

The confession comes easy to Yoongi these days, but he forgets that for some people it’s something brand new.

“Oh,” Jungkook pauses, looking struck. His mouth goes funny, almost a frown turning in on itself, and he glances away from Yoongi.

Yoongi’s insides curl up, breath caught in his chest. He’d expected Jungkook to barely react, to laugh and understand in an instant. Partly because he’s just as young and progressive as Yoongi is, but also because he’s just a generally kind, non-judgemental person. There’s fear of rejection thrumming through Yoongi’s veins. He trusts Jungkook now, that’s why he told him at all. Why he invited him inside. Why they still have coffee together more than once every week. If somehow, Jungkook doesn’t accept this part of him—Yoongi will feel a great blow to his self-esteem. To his heart.

“I guess that makes sense then,” Jungkook laughs, but it comes too late. It makes Yoongi unsettled and he knows something is wrong, but he can’t tell what. “How did you end up with Yeji’s mom, then?”

“Well,” Yoongi presses on, ignoring Jungkook’s initial reaction in preference of the smile and warm eyes he’s getting from his friend now. “Denial is a bitch.”

Jungkook barks a laugh, a real one this time, and Yoongi breathes easier.

~

It’s Christmas break, and Yoongi hasn’t seen Jungkook in nearly two weeks. Not for lack of trying, but simply because Jungkook had work obligations, and then was going to Busan with Chaeryong and Chaeryong’s mom (Yoongi finally looked her up, her name is Kim Jihyo and she’s actually been in a few episodes of dramas Yoongi’s watched too). Yoongi and Yeji are in Daegu anyway, with his parents sitting around the fireplace opening gifts. Or at least—Yeji is opening gifts, paper wrapping strewn about the floor and at the feet of Yoongi’s parents. They spoil her to no end, since she’s their only grandchild and it’s unlikely Yoongi’s brother will ever have any, they go all in with the presents.

Yoongi shouldn’t be thinking about Jungkook on the couch of his family home, and yet here he is. Thinking about him.

He’s become so important to Yoongi so quickly, he almost feels a little guilty for not giving him anything for Christmas.

After Yoongi came out to him a month ago nothing changed—if anything, things got better between them.

They talked more than they worked at the coffee shop, Yoongi accepted rides home, and Jungkook fell into the habit of wrapping Yoongi’s scarf more securely around him in the cold. When Yoongi made a fresh batch of kimchi he gave Jungkook two jars worth and the younger smiled so big Yoongi thought his face would be stuck that way. Jungkook lent Yoongi his gloves, his beanie, and brought him a thermos of hot chocolate the morning before winter break began. Their daughters started walking out of the school building together, chatting and giggling and hugging goodbye. It’s ironic, because they don’t even know their fathers are friends, yet they get along anyway.

Maybe the situation is too idealistic, or maybe it’s fate, but Yoongi can’t help but believe Jungkook is a puzzle piece in Yoongi’s life he didn’t know he was missing. 

It’s after Christmas dinner when he’s sitting at the long dining table with his mom that he starts to feel lonely. 

“Dear, you’ve been quiet all day,” his mom sits beside him and pushes a small cup of espresso and vanilla bean cake his way. “What’s going on?”

“Just thinking,” he shrugs and bites into the treat, crumbs falling into the tablecloth.

“Yeah?” She brushes his bangs aside and leans on her elbow, not letting up as she looks hard at a Yoongi—examining his features. His mom has a tendency to try and read his mind. She knew before he told her that Yeji’s mom had left him, she knew before he could say it that he way gay, and she accepted far too quickly that he was moving to Seoul on his own. She supported him through the hard times when he refused to let anyone help him raise his daughter, because he felt like he needed to prove to everyone that he was more than capable. 

“I’ve met someone,” Yoongi holds the espresso cup tight between his palms, the heat a welcome sensation on his skin to keep him grounded in the moment; head secured to his shoulders and not adrift in the clouds. “He’s just another dad from Yeji’s school, but we’ve become really good friends.”

“That’s great,” his mom smiles, eyes crinkling, “It’s good to know other parents.”

“It is. And now I feel so silly for denying help from anyone for so long, when even just talking to someone who gets it has made me feel so much better. I thought it was me against,” the straight couples, families with two cohesive parents and four kids, the traditional structure, society, “everyone else, but really we’re just trying to raise our kids as best we can and still live our own lives.”

She nods and rubs a hand over his arm, comforting.

“I even pushed Namjoon out of my life when Yeji was really young,” he thinks of his daughter meeting Nmajoon for the first time and how thrilled she was to have someone else to call family, “and you too.”

Yoongi shifts to face his mother, regret heavy on his tongue, “I kept you and Appa out, and I moved away, and I didn’t want to be a burden just because I’d made a dumb mistake but now I know that it wasn’t really a mistake. It was a happy accident. I thought you’d be overbearing or try and raise Yeji for me, but you’ve never pushed me or judged me for what I have done. I’m sorry,” Yoongi voices breaks but he keeps going. “I’m sorry if I hurt you, I’m sorry if I was too defensive. I was scared, but I love you, and I know better now that all you and Appa want to do is love Yeji as much as I do.” 

“We know,” his mom hugs him tight and he breathes in her sweet smell, “we know, Yoongi dear. We’re not  angry or sad, we understood that it was a hard time for you and you were learning. I’m just glad you’ve gotten to a place where you trust us, and trust yourself, enough to let us in all the way.”

“Me too.”

Before bed, he peeks into Yeji’s room. The light from the hallway casts a glow over guest bed where she sleeps, and he smiles with a full heart. He loves her so very much, wants to give her the world, and wants even more for her to grow up and fight for the world on her own. Yeji is so strong, and he knows it’s hard for her too. (Hard to see kids with their moms, hard to not be given any good answers as to why Yoongi doesn’t have a partner. Hard for her in ways Yoongi will never fully know, because that’s not the life experience he had. Everything he does is for her, but he’s not sure if it will ever be enough. Or maybe she has always been fulfilled, and he’s the one who feels a strange sense of dissatisfaction in the bottom of his stomach.)

Nearly a week later they’re on the train home. Suitcases stored in the overhead, Yeji’s backpack on the small pull-out table in front of them. She’s asleep against Yoongi’s arm, and he’s trying to stay still so she doesn’t wake up and have to suffer through the long ride. Tonight is New Years Eve, so the train is packed with folks commuting into Seoul to celebrate.

Yoongi thinks about how close Yeji and Jungkook’s daughter have become, and how quickly the cold crept up on them and kept them from taking their kids to play basketball together. They’ll have to do something else soon, something indoors. Play board games, watch a movie, or something like that.

As Yoongi and Jungkook have gotten closer, the younger talks more about parenting. He told Yoongi about how he and and Jihyo have been best friends in high school, and had been stupid teenagers together, ultimately leading to Jihyo getting pregnant, and both their parents bringing down the hammer. Apparently they’d been pissed, had almost forced Jungkook and Jihyo to get married at 18—but settled for the two raising Chaeryong together. Yoongi hasn’t got many details about the relationship Jihyo and Jungkook have now, but from what he’s gathered Cherry spends most of her time with Jungkook. And if Jihyo happens to be in town (she has extended trips to Japan and China for shoots) then Cherry will spend most of her time with her mother.

It explains why Yoongi never sees the two together. But he also senses that their co-parenting arrangement is a lot more complicated than Jungkook lets on, but it’s not Yoongi’s place to ask.

Perhaps what Yoongi finds most intriguing is imagining himself in Jungkook’s situation, and wonder what he would do. Having Yeji’s mother as a part of their life, but never quite permanent, seems like it would be more unnerving than comforting. Like it could create unforeseen custody issues and disagreements on how to raise their daughter. 

In a lot of ways, Yoongi feels better off without her.

~

“Cherry is such a good artist, Appa! She draws so well. She’s going to be the flower girl at the wedding and she drew her dream dress,” Yeji rambles over dinner. “She asked if I could come to the wedding with her as a plus one!”

Yoongi laughs at the phrasing, “Oh yeah? When is she going to it?”

“I don’t know, but it sounds fun doesn’t it? Cake, dancing, pretty lights and flowers.”

“I suppose so,” Yoongi purses his lips, remembering the few weddings he’s gone to. All he recalls is being forced into a tux and cringing at the bible verses the pastor read.

“She says that her mom bought her a boring dress though... Appa, do you think you’ll ever get married?”

Yoongi blinks, not expecting the question.

“Oh, um. I don’t know. Do you—how would you feel about that?”

“I don’t know,” Yeji shrugs. “I just want your be happy. And what about when I go to university? You can’t be here alone.”

“University!” Yoongi chuckles, “Yeji, honey, it’s your first year in primary school. You do not need to think about that yet. That’s so far away.” 

“Kwon songsaeng-nim told me it’s never too early to start thinking about it. She said that if you don’t go to university you can’t do anything.”

“Now that’s not true,” Yoongi keeps his tone calm, despite feeling frustration boiling up inside. “You can be perfectly successful without it. Or even if you go to university and don’t do well, you can still have a great life.”

“Songsaeng-nim didn’t make it sound like that.”

“Chaeryong’s dad didn’t go to university.”

“You know her Appa?”

“Oh,” Yoongi had almost forgotten his daughter knew nothing of their friendship. “Yes. I see him at your school all the time.”

“He didn’t go to university? Is that why Songsaeng-nim is so mean to him?”

“What? Your teacher is mean to him?” And that’s when he remembers that one of Yeji’s teachers is Jihyo’s sister. So maybe Kwon Sohee has something against Jungkook for the way he is raising Cherry, or because he isn’t married to Jihyo (or something else, because they have a history that Yoongi knows nothing about).

Not that it’s his business.

“Never mind,” Yoongi says suddenly, “No more gossiping about your teachers.”

“But Namjoon-samchon loves gossip,” Yeji smirks.

Yoongi rolls his eyes, “Namjoon-ah is a terrible influence on you.”

“No he isn’t!” She squeaks.

They finish dinner and Yoongi moves a chair over to the sink so Yeji can dry dishes with a towel as he scrubs them clean. He keeps the knives in a separate pile to do later, and enjoys playing songs on his speaker system that Yeji requests. He doesn’t exactly love the music she takes an interest to, but he thinks it’s incredibly important to validate her interests and uplift her in every way he can. So he sings along to the repetitive choruses and dances in his socks on the tile floor with her, and picks her up and spins her around. 

He tucks her in at night and kisses her forehead. 

“Hey, honey, would you like to have a playdate with Cherry sometime?”

“Call her Chaeryong,” Yeji tells him the dark, “She likes it better now. I told her her name is cool and like the name of a goddess and now she likes it.”

“Okay,” Yoongi agrees, “Do you want to have a playdate with Chaeryong?”

“Yeah,” she rolls over with a yawn. “Maybe a sleepover.”

“Okay. I’ll see what her Appa says.”

“Goodnight, Appa.”

“Love you, Yeji.”

~

Yoongi

help me

Namjoon

?

What’s wrong?

Yoongi

The sleepover is tomorrow night

What should the girls do? 

Namjoon

Why are asking me? I thought you were doing board games and movies, that sounded great

Ask jungkook 

Yoongi

I told him I had it under control

To take the night off parenting

Go out or something

Namjoon

So what you’re like the babysitter?

Yoongi

No

Kind of

Idk

Namjoon

Why are you making this complicated hyung

Yoongi

Sigh

I wanted to ask jungkook to stay and hang out for awhile

Namjoon

Then do???

Yoongi

but

but what if he thinks it’s weird??

Namjoon

Why would it be weird

You’re friends right? It’s not weird

I’m sure he’d say yes

Yoongi

You don’t even know him how could you know

Namjoon

yoongi you guys literally spend so much time together I’m pretty sure he enjoys your time together and would love to hang out somewhere that’s not the coffee shop

I assure you

If you ask him to stay it won’t be unprecedented

Yoongi

You’re right

This isn’t a big deal

I don’t know why I’m making it one

We’re just friends

This is normal 

Namjoon

Hyung

Yoongi

yeah?

Namjoon

You are

just friends, right?

That’s what you’ve been saying but

Yoongi

There’s no buts Joon

He’s literally just my friend

Can’t I just have a friend??

Namjoon

you know that’s not what I mean

But yes of course you can have friends

I just want you to be happy

And make the most of things

Yoongi tucks his phone into his pocket and looks over at Yeji. She has a notebook open on her lap, writing down the alphabet in her best handwriting. Since they’re in the bumpy, unpredictable bus her penmanship is even more chaotic than normal.

Personally he thinks it sounds like a great idea to have Jungkook over for awhile during their sleepover at Yoongi’s house. They can make cookies together and then have the girls decorate them. He thinks Jungkook would have fun, and since they both enjoy cooking it would be even better. Anyway, he figures he can just ask Jungkook when he sees him at the school.

The bus is ahead of schedule when they arrive. Yeji has time to join some other kids playing on the lawn under the trees as they wait for the bell. Yoongi watches with a smile, waiting for Jungkook and Chaeryong to show up. Soon, the sleek black car Yoongi’s come to know as Jungkook’s pulls up in front of the school, which is odd because the younger never parks there. Maybe he felt they were running late. Things make more sense when Yoongi sees who steps out of the driver's seat onto the sidewalk, helping Cherry out and carrying her backpack in one hand. 

It’s Jihyo. Who had never, in the past five months, dropped Chaeryong off at school. Disconcerting would be Yoongi’s word of choice to describe the lump in the back of his throat. He’s not sure why he’s anxious about meeting her—but maybe it’s because he’s known Jungkook for five months and he’s never even spoken to Jihyo before. She’s also a celebrity, so there’s that.

“Chaeryong!” Jihyo shouts as her daughter sprints away, going to Yeji and laughing as they collapse into each other on the damp grass.

Jihyo comes down the sidewalk with her boots clicking against the cement, a furrow in her brow. She’s wearing driving gloves and sporting a coat with a faux fur collar. Nothing about her screams homebody or mother—her body language is all model. Walking like she’s on a runway, wearing clothes like they were specifically designed for her. Yoongi could be the gayest man in South Korea and he would still say she is undeniably gorgeous. 

“Yoongi-ssi?”

He can’t help but be shocked when his name comes from her lips.

“Yes, that’s me,” Yoongi offers a hand to her as she stops in front of him. “Jihyo-ssi?”

“Yes, hi. Jungkook has told me a lot about you. He’s been reading your books.”

“Oh,” Yoongi blushes, embarrassed that she knows about his career. “Yeah, he has.”

“Some of my friends, actually, read you too. I always thought the author was female, but I was wrong.” 

Yoongi smiles, “I get that a lot.”

“Cherry and your daughter seem to get along well,” she observes, shifting to watch their kids play together. “I’m happy they’ve made friends. I always had a hard time with that in school,” her voice is soft when she says: “Except with Jungkook, he’s my oldest friend.”

“I get that. I always say that Yeji is my best friend,” Yoongi laughs, no longer unnerved by Jihyo and rather pleased with the energy she gives off. “Her making friends though, that’s really good to see.” 

“Jungkook is at a suit fitting this morning,” Jihyo explains without being prompted. “I’m glad I got to meet you though, especially before Cherry spends the night at your house.”

“Oh, yeah, for sure,” Yoongi agrees it’s good to know both of Chaeryong’s parents, for safety reasons and to make sure they both trust Yoongi enough for the night. 

“Would you like to get dinner with us, Yoongi-ssi?” Jihyo asks, turning to him and pulling her purse up her arm further. “If Cherry and Yeji are going to be spending more time together I’d like to get to know you better.” 

“Sure,” Yoongi thinks Yeji would enjoy that, and Jihyo seems nice enough. Jungkook gets along well with Jihyo too, so he thinks it might be good all around. “We’d love to have dinner with you and Chaeryong.” 

“And Jungkook-ah too, of course.” 

“Yeah, okay. When?”

“Does Monday evening work for you?”

“I think so,” Yoongi agrees. “Do you want my number?”

Jihyo waves him off as the school bell rings, “I’ll have Jungkook text you.”

(my twt)

Chapter Text

The second they knock at the door Yeji flings it open violently as Yoongi says wait for me! too late. Thankfully, it’s just Chaeryong holding a blue sleeping bag and wearing a backpack, Jungkook looking extra tall behind her. His eyes are open wide as the girls squeal and laugh and Yeji excitedly runs to show Chaeryong her room.

Yoongi’s barely gotten off the couch in time to chastise her, “No running in the house!” He rolls his eyes fondly, and then smiles when he sees Jungkook grinning at him. 

“Kids these days,” Jungkook jokes. “I’ll never understand them.”

Yoongi laughs and invites the younger inside as he shuts the door behind him. Jungkook glances around the apartment, soaking it all up. Normally, this is where Yoongi would begin to feel awkward. But Jungkook’s appraisal is much more like appreciation, and all Yoongi feels is a silly sort of joy at having the younger in his house again. Last time, Jungkook hadn’t stayed long or looked much, but now he’s getting the chance to become familiar with the space. At the very least, he’s going to learn the kitchen very well by the end of the night. Yoongi notices that he’s carrying a plastic bag in one hand.

He points at the bag, “What’s that?”

“Oh!” Jungkook lights up and goes to the kitchen counter, contents thumping as he sets it down. “You said we’d have the girls decorate the cookies so I brought our piping tips. It makes the icing look pretty when we squeeze it out of the bag,” he sets the plastic nubs out. “I also brought some rainbow sprinkles because I can never get enough, and then I also got—“

Jungkook brandishes a bottle at Yoongi, a hesitant smile on his face.

“Wine?” Yoongi gapes, taking it from him and running a finger over the label. “You got me wine?” 

Jungkook shrugs, crumpling the plastic bag into a small ball, “Yeah. I figured you’re supposed to get the host a gift. And, you know, you said you like wine. This is my favorite kind.”

“Is it?” Yoongi warms, “Thank you.”

“Of course,” Jungkook holds his gaze for a moment and then touches his hair, looking away. “So—cookies?”

“Yes, cookies,” the elder puts the wine in a cabinet Yeji can’t reach, and then pulls out the flour, sugar, and baking soda. “What kind should we make? I was thinking of sugar cookies for decorating, but honestly you really can’t go wrong with a chocolate chip. What do you think?”

Jungkook groans, tilting his head back and then assuring Yoongi, “Yes. Yes please. Let’s make chocolate chip cookies too.” 

“Both?”

”Yes, both!”

“Okay,” Yoongi snorts, “You have to promise to take some home with you, though. Me and Yeji don’t need a ton of extra sugar in the house.”

“Well, I’m convinced.”

Yoongi laughs again, content. His insides are buzzing. Jungkook goes to check on the girls, and when he returns he informs Yoongi that they’re setting up a pillow fort and placing dinosaurs around to be the guards of the it’s a palace, Appa, not a fort! It sounds like something Yeji would do, and Yoongi is again so happy that she’s made friends with similar interests.

But she isn’t the only one. Jungkook is a lot like Yoongi—or maybe he just complements him. Either way, they work. As showcased by how diligently they work side by side, sharing the scale as they measure out flour and sugar. Jungkook tells Yoongi about this new game he’s started playing, and then Yoongi tells Jungkook about a book he’s been reading. He informs the younger that unlike the novels he writes, he prefers to read non-fiction books about real-life crimes and unsolved mysteries. But not scary ones—just ridiculous, ironic, or almost unbelievable ones. 

They move around the kitchen smoothly, never bumping, always knowing what utensil the other needs to borrow. Fingers steal bites of raw dough from each other’s bowl, flour ends up on their black shirts, and the counters get covered in a thin film of spilled sugar. The oven preheats as Yoongi sets the baking sheets on top of the stove, Jungkook ripping off lengths of parchment paper to place over them.

“Which do we make first?” Yoongi ponders. “Do you think the girls will get bored playing soon?”

“No,” the taller replies, answer punctuated by the sound of Chaeryong and Yeji speaking in deep, dinosaur-mimicking voices and the clunk of plastic figures knocking into each other. “I think they’re pretty entertained for now.” 

“Okay,” Yoongi glances at his bowl of dough, “chocolate chip cookies first.”

“You got your priorities straight.”

“Sure do,” Yoongi washes his hands off in the sink and dries them, “You wanna put the chocolate chips in as I put the dough on the tray?”

“You don’t mix the chips in?” Jungkook grabs the chips from the freezer where Yoongi keeps them and tears the packaging open, snatching one out and crunching down on it with a mischievous smirk.

“Nah, I like putting them on top so you can, like, control how many chocolate chips are in each one.”

“Oh, I see,” Jungkook steps closer to the stove, “I usually mix them in so then you can bite into a cookie and the chocolate is a surprise. But let’s do it your way.”

“My house, my rules?” Yoongi sets the dough beside the cookie sheets.

“No,” Jungkook hums, standing so close Yoongi can almost feel the heat coming off of him. “I just want to experience a trademark Min Yoongi chocolate cookie chip cookie with my own taste buds.”

Yoongi shakes his head, smiling as he spoons out a blob of golden brown dough on the paper.

“Oh—“ Jungkook starts and then stops himself.

Yoongi looks up at him, feeling weirdly giddy as he realizes just how close the younger is. “What?”

“Nothing,” Jungkook lies.

“No, tell me. What?”

“Just—“ Jungkook bites his lip— “are you gonna roll them into balls with your hands?”

“No?”

Jungkook grits his teeth with lips spread wide, eyes huge. It’s clear that he’s not going to actually tell Yoongi what to do, but he’s heavily implying that Yoongi should listen to him.

Yoongi lets out an exasperated sigh, smiling to himself as he looks back at his blob on the tray. “What would you recommend, Jungkook-ah?” 

“Take it in one hand, in your palm,” Jungkook instructs. His breath is suddenly hot on Yoongi’s ear, even if he still sounds a few inches away. “Now put your other palm on top and—no, open your fingers.”

Jungkook reaches his own arm around Yoongi and gently pries his fingers open so they’re not clasping over the dough. He makes them extend outwards—and Yoongi wonders if the other man can feel his heart pounding through his hand. Jungkook doesn’t really touch Yoongi—and certainly not like this—and it’s making Yoongi’s body react irrationally. He holds his breath as Jungkook moves his hand away, but stays pressed close to Yoongi side. The younger watches as Yoongi struggles to focus on rolling the dough between his palms, molding it into a perfect sphere that he sets on the parchment.

Jungkook presses chocolate chips into the top of the ball as Yoongi keeps rolling even-sized cookies and spacing them out. The oven is long since ready for cookies, and when they finish the two trays Jungkook picks the pans up and slides them in without an oven mitt like a pro, making Yoongi nervous he could get burned.

The girls join them shortly thereafter, and they’re hungry. Yoongi gets out the fruit he prepared earlier and they eat it at the table with some red bean buns he heats up in the microwave. Chaeryong has good manners, thanking Yoongi and complimenting the taste.

“Hey, are you saying Yoongi-hyung is a better cook than me?” Jungkook teases his daughter, taking one of the buns for himself. When he bites into it he blinks, “Nevermind. These are way better than mine.”

“What?” Yoongi chuckles, “I’m sure yours are great too. I bet those cookies are gonna come out of the oven way prettier because of your help, too.”

“Probably, to be honest,” Jungkook says shamelessly winking in Yoongi’s direction.

The elder looks away, blushing and focusing on the orange melon that Yeji is eating.

“Appa, Jungkook-ssi made you red!” Yeji giggles, pointing at his face.

Yoongi groans and ignores her, refusing to look at his friend whose eyes he can feel boring into him. It leaves him forced to eat so he doesn’t dig himself into a deeper hole by talking. Chaeryong and Yeji talk about what kind of movie they’d like to watch, and Jungkook suggests titles that they bat away and say are too sappy.

The timer goes off and Yoongi takes the opportunity to get away from the table. He takes the trays out of the oven and uses a spatula to scoop up each cookie and place them on a cooling rack, they’re golden brown and the smell is positively mouth-watering. If Yoongi didn’t need to set a good example, he’d be making a stack three cookies tall and biting into them all at once. He fucking loves sweets, okay? And cookies are his favorite. This particular batch looks different than normal, and it’s because of Jungkook. The technique he suggested resulted in each cookie being perfectly round with the chocolate chips evenly distributed on the top of the cookie. It’s like they came straight out of a bakery.

“They look delicious,” Jungkook says suddenly, having crept up behind Yoongi. 

“Thanks to you.”

“No, it was your recipe, hyung. You baked them, you’re the real powerhouse behind these cookies,” Jungkook compliments.

Yoongi turns around, back against the edge of the counter.

“I don’t think powerhouse is the word I’d use to describe a baker.”

“Oh yeah?” Jungkook quirks an eyebrow, “Maybe you need to expand your definition of a baker.”

“My definition is fine, thanks.”

“And what is it?” Jungkook crosses his arms and jerks his chin to urge Yoongi on.

“A baker can be creative and hard working, but I’d hardly call them a powerhouse. Bakeries aren’t gonna save the world.”

“But they could,” Jungkook tilts his head to the side. “Bakeries are everything good. It’s food made with love and care, and love is the most powerful thing in the world. Bakers basically bake love, and if love is power, then they are powerhouses.”

Yoongi’s chest swells in admiration of Jungkook’s certainty, in respect of his perspective.

“I can’t argue with you on that.”

“No,” Jungkook comes close, so they’re almost chest to chest. Yoongi holds his breath as the younger reaches an arm around him and—bites into one of cookies. “You can’t.”

Yoongi is so stunned that it takes a second for him to realize what happened, and when he does Jungkook has already swallowed the whole cookie down and is heading back to the table to join their daughters. The fruit bowl is almost empty, and only one bun remains.

“Chaeryong,” Yoongi laughs as he sets his hands onto the back of his chair, standing and looking down at the table. “Tell your appa to stop stealing dessert before dinner.”

“Papa!” Chaeryong sends a glare his way, “Stop that!”

“You’re not gonna tell on your papa, are you?” Jungkook asks, leaning over to give Chaeryong a side hug.

“I will! Unless I can have a cookie too,” she adds, a sly grin on her face. Yoongi can’t help but think she’s just like her dad.

“Oh me too, Appa!” Yeji exclaims, hands on the table as she pushes herself up in her chair. She cranes towards Yoongi, beaming.

Yoongi and Jungkook share a look, and just like that they agree.

With a look, they can understand each other. With a look they have an entire conversation. Yoongi rubs the back of his neck, and purses his lips at the girls awaiting their decision.

“One cookie each. Then we’re gonna play a card game together, okay?”

“Okay!” They both agree, and Jungkook goes to fetch the treats.

Crumbs litter the table when they’re done, and Yoongi wipes them off and into the trash can before he fetches a deck of cards. Jungkook has put on some soft music, standing in the kitchen rolling dough balls for the sugar cookies and preparing to bake them. Yoongi and the girls play Go Fish until Jungkook finishes and joins them, then they play Memory until the cookies have been taken out and cooled.

Chaeryong seems to have decorated cookies before since she knows exactly how to handle the bag of frosting as she squeezes it to design her cookies. Yoongi helps Yeji figure it out and soon they’ve decorated the entire cookie batch with faces, words, sprinkles, and flowers. Lots of flowers. Jungkook praises their designs and Yoongi shows him where the fancy plates are in the cupboard. The younger displays all their cookies beautifully and snaps a picture, tells Chaeryong he’ll send it to Jihyo, and then suggests they should go get changed into pajamas so they can watch a movie.

When the girls leave the kitchen, Jungkook faces Yoongi with a reluctant smile, shadows under his eyes.

“Hyung, I think I should probably go. I feel like Chaeryong won’t think of it as a sleepover if I’m here much longer.”

Yoongi feels his heart sink, “She hasn’t complained. Staying at someone else’s house can be scary for kids. I think you’re probably, you know, helping her relax.” 

“Yeah, well,” Jungkook shifts from foot to foot.

“You’re not bothering me either, Jungkook-ah. I’m the one who invited you to hang out. Please stay, if you want to.”

“Are you sure? It’s almost 8 o’clock and...” Jungkook trails off, something in his expression Yoongi doesn’t understand.

“My couch pulls out into a bed, you could stay the night.”

“What?”

Yoongi rubs his neck, “I just mean—you know. It can be a double sleepover. So Chaeryong doesn’t have to be scared, and you can leave whenever in the morning. We could even,” Yoongi shrugs, feigning nonchalance, “hang out after they go to bed. Drink that wine you brought with.”

“But that’s a gift for you.”

“It can be for us.” 

“But—“ 

“Jungkook-ah,” Yoongi’s pulse quickens, “I want you to stay.”

“Okay,” Jungkook agrees almost instantly, almost looking surprised himself. He bites his bottom lip and repeats, “Okay.” 

“Okay,” Yoongi nods, breathing deep.

They end up putting on Leafie: A Hen Into the Wild as Chaeryong and Yeji sit on the couch, blankets and bowls of ramyeon on their laps. Yoongi and Jungkook added broccoli, onions, and ground pork to the instant noodles to make it more well rounded (and delicious). They look over the couch at the TV screen at the animated film, slurping their own bowls up from where they sit at the dining table.

Yoongi clears everyone’s bowls when they’re done, and starts to wash them. Jungkook joins him, wordlessly drying them off with a rag. The elder smiles to himself, the movie humming in the background and the girls’ chatter subsiding. 

“Thank you,” Jungkook says. 

“No, thank you, dishes stink to do alone.”

“No, I mean for having me over too. I really like spending time with you.”

“Same,” Yoongi freshens up his sponge and fills the used ramyeon pot full of hot water. “I haven’t had a new friend in a long time. I haven’t had time.”

“Me either,” Jungkook takes a deep breath, heavy with years of responsibility and growing up too fast. “Thankfully, I’ve made some really good friends through my job. Even if they’re just through the internet, Jimin and Taehyung have meant a lot to me.” 

“What made you start video editing?”

“I needed to be able to work from home, mostly. With Chaeryong so young, and then Jihyo getting into modeling, I had to be home to take care of her. I like it a lot, though. I never get bored with it, I can always play with different styles and tools.”

“Do you ever think about doing anything else?”

Jungkook pauses, his grip on the towel seeming to tighten.

“No, I don’t have time for that. It would be silly to mess up the good thing I have going.”

Yoongi thinks that’s a strange response, but doesn’t push any further.

“How did you start writing?” Jungkook asks.

“I’ve always written,” Yoongi shrugs, “Since I was little I wrote. I used to to do poems and songs, and I’d always try to tell a story with them. One day I decided I just wanted to write out the whole story, and here I am.” 

“Okay but,” Jungkook laughs, “How did you start writing raunchy romance novels?”

“There not that raunchy,” Yoongi pouts. “But to answer your question, I think I kind of felt like you. I was trapped at home, and I’d actually been working with an agent on another book I wrote already. It wasn’t anything like what I write now, but no publishers wanted to pick it up. Anyway, since I was home with Yeji I started to write about people I wanted to meet, places I can never go, and love stories that are just too—too convenient or too fantastical.”

“Have you ever thought about, um, dating?” Jungkook is staring hard at the chopsticks he’s drying when he asks. 

Yoongi’s heart pounds a little louder in his ears when he says, “Yeah. I think it might be hard, and I’d be scared of Yeji getting attached, but I think if I met someone as a friend first, and we got to know each other, I could see myself trusting them—and myself—enough to let it happen.”

Jungkook nods, quiet.

“What about you?”

The younger tilts his head, “What about me?”

“Do you think about dating?” 

Jungkook laughs, almost a little too loud, almost like it’s fake, “Of course not. Obviously not.”

Yoongi immediately feels so dumb. Why should Jungkook want to date? Because Yoongi wants Jungkook to date him? But that would be stupid, right? Because they’re friends. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Jungkook is busy, Yoongi knows this, and Jungkook may not be ready to think about bringing someone else into his and Jihyo’s seemingly complex, tediously balanced, parenting relationship. Yoongi has more freedom in that respect. He only has himself to get permission from. Not that he ever really gives his heart permission to desire. He tells himself that Yeji is everything he could ever need, and she is. Fulfillment is seeing her happy; her goals achieved. 

Yoongi is a parent. His needs must come second if he’s going to raise his daughter right. 

(Or: he can only raise his daughter right if he takes care of himself, and his own desires. Be the best version of himself so he can guide Yeji to be the best version of herself.)

When they finish the dishes, the credits start to roll on the movie, Yoongi hears the telltale sign of Yeji’s tiny snores. Chaeryong isn’t asleep, but she’s far past exhausted, rubbing her eyes and blinking groggily when Jungkook scoops her up in his arms. He rubs her back and signals to Yoongi that he’s going to lie her down on her sleeping bag. Yoongi watches his retreating back before rounding the couch, spotting Yeji curled up like a burrito. He pets her hair and gently lifts her, blankets hanging down to the floor. They drag on the wood floor as it squeaks beneath their combined weight. Her lamp emits a soft glow into the hall as he approaches.

Jungkook is sitting cross legged beside Chaeryong, holding her hand and combing his fingers through her hair as she shuts her eyes. Yoongi carefully steps around them, lowering Yeji into her bed and pulling her blankets up to cover her. She stirs only slightly, only enough to cling briefly to Yoongi before he straightens up. He meets Jungkook’s eyes and the younger nods, stretching to shut off the lamp and then they both tiptoe out, shutting the door carefully and slowly.

“Wine?” Yoongi whispers excitedly when they reach the kitchen.

“Yes, wine.”

Yoongi beams and grabs the bottle from the cupboard, twisting the cork out with a bottle opener. Jungkook prepares two mugs for Yoongi to pour into, and Yoongi feels warm without even taking a sip. They clink mugs, whispering a cheers! and then sip the wine. Jungkook’s eyes adorably widen as drinks, and Yoongi already feels his cheeks blushing. It’s okay though.

With the wine bottle in between them on the coffee table, they watch reruns of Produce 101. Jungkook is very talkative as the program plays, drinking and whispering animatedly about each contestant, but mostly talking shit about the producers he says are behind the scenes, orchestrating each event and outcome. 

Yoongi downs more wine than he plans to. Jungkook is just so incredibly endearing to listen to, so he drinks to stop himself from interrupting and just watches. The younger has an arm resting on the back of the couch, behind Yoongi—though not touching him. They’re close together because the couch is on the smaller side to begin with. 

Who is he kidding? Yoongi likes Jungkook. He likes the way Jungkook smiles, the sound of his voice, how gentle he is even though he looks so big on the days he wears button downs and slacks. He likes Jungkook—who can cook, is a tech wizard, and likes all kinds of music. He likes Jungkook who doesn’t park in front of the school because he says if he parks further away, it’s almost like he’s walking Chaeryong to school instead of driving her. He likes everything about him. And Yoongi especially loves the way Jungkook loves his daughter. 

Yoongi sits up, thoughts muddled and limbs numb, to smile sleepily at the other man.

Jungkook stops talking when he sees him, grinning back with his nose scrunched up and eyes so big. Yoongi’s arm crosses Jungkook so he can set a hand on the armrest, using it to lift himself up slightly. He’s more tipsy than he thought, more tired, and in far deeper than he wanted to admit before. He really likes Jungkook. And if he’s not projecting too much, he thinks Jungkook likes him back. Slowly, he touches Jungkook’s hair.

Yoongi leans in so slow he feels like time has stopped. He gives Jungkook every opportunity to pull away. To say something, do something, to stop him. But he doesn’t so—

Yoongi kisses him on the lips, slow and soft, and then sits back—eyes flitting up to Jungkook’s.

“What was that?” Jungkook is breathless, shock plain on face.

“I wanted to kiss you.”

“Why?”

“It felt right,” Yoongi tells him, the words fall off his tongue like a weight lifted from his chest. 

“I’m not gay,” Jungkook says, blinking, scooting away as far as he can as Yoongi falls back in place, openly staring. 

“Okay,” Yoongi doesn’t know how to respond to that, because Jungkook doesn’t have to be gay to like him back. 

“Yoongi, I think it’s time to go to bed,” Jungkook’s voice is hard. The taller stands up and peers down at Yoongi and the elder feels so small, so insignificant, in comparison. “I’m going to brush my teeth.” 

Jungkook starts to leave, but before he can walk away to the bathroom he mumbles under his breath, “Don’t do that again.”

Yoongi feels terribly, terribly, ashamed. Tears prick his eyes and he glares defiantly at the now-empty wine bottle. He blames his stupid lonely heart and his mushy alcohol brain for letting this happen. For letting him put something—someone—so important to him at risk.

But Jungkook will understand. Neither of them will let this hurt them and their friendship. They’ve become such an integral part of each other’s lives that it would be silly for any of this to be broken over a drunken kiss. Yoongi won’t deny that he has feelings for Jungkook, but he thinks their both mature enough to navigate that as well. It doesn’t have to be weird unless they make it weird. They can communicate, they can do this.

Yoongi can do this.

~

“These pages, Yoongi-ssi, they’re different than your normal stuff. It’s a lot more,” he searches for the right word, “tame. Plus, you’ve practically rewritten everything you sent me previously.”

“Is that bad?” Yoongi swallows, holding his phone tight to his ear, scared he won’t hear his agent’s response. 

“No, on the contrary. I think it helps build up the tensions even more. It’s sort of slow burn. For the people who’ve been following your books, it will be a breath of fresh air, and for anyone new to your stuff could get hooked. I like it. Keep it up.”

“But will the publishers like it?” He can't help but wonder. “If it’s different, aren’t they scared it’ll ruin the formula?”

“I’ll handle them. Keep writing Yoongi-ssi, there’s some great potential here.”

“Okay,” Yoongi agrees, dubious. He hangs up the phone and smiles meekly at Namjoon.

They’re at small little noodle place around the corner from Yoongi’s apartment, Yeji is with Yoongi’s brother at home who happened to be passing through Seoul this weekend.

It’s Sunday.

“What did he say?”

Yoongi puffs out his cheeks, “He likes it.”

“That’s great!”

“The publishers might hate it though.”

“They trust you now, Yoongi. They trust Suga. You keep bringing in the dough for them and you know it. They upped your pay to three whole dollars on the book last year, they love you.”

“They do,” Yoongi frowns anyway. “But they could just as easily take that all away.”

“No. You’re their star author, you’ve earned the right to do things a little differently this time in your book.” 

“I guess.” 

Namjoon sends him a pointed look before biting down on a spring roll. Yoongi holds his tea between his palms and fiddles with the tea bag, not sure how to bring up what happened last night with Jungkook without his best friend flipping out.

“What’s that look, hyung?” Namjoon swallows down his food and takes a sip of his beer. “What’s going on?” 

“I kissed Jungkook and I realized that I have feelings for him, a lot of them,” he confesses in a rush. It’s better to rip off the band aid than play around. 

“You did?” Namjoon, ever the gossip, leans in closer. “What happened? Was it good?”

“He didn’t, um, exactly,” Yoongi looks down and his friend’s demeanor completely changes. Namjoon is concerned now. 

“What, hyung?”

“He didn’t kiss me back.”

Namjoon sits back in his sweat, rolling his chopsticks between his fingers, “He didn’t?” 

“No. He just, he just told me ‘I’m not gay’ and then decided it was time for bed,” Namjoon scoffs as Yoongi keeps going, “But I think I just—I don’t know. He told me not to do it again. He was really serious about that. I knew I shouldn’t have done it anyway.”

“How could you have known?”

“Because we had talked about it earlier.”

“About kissing?” Namjoon’s brows rise.

“No,” Yoongi snorts, the urge to smack Namjoon with his napkin barely being kept down. “About dating. He said he doesn’t even think about dating. He’s always putting his daughter first, and so I think he doesn’t have space for dating in his life right now, which I get. We’re at different places in our lives.”

“Oh,” Namjoon swirls the remainder of his beer around in the bottom of the glass. “There’s not much you can do about that, then.”

“Yeah. Our daughters are friends, so I think it’s worth it to keep being friends too.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Namjoon agrees. “Will you be okay, though?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi responds too fast, “I never wanted this to happen, I just have to go back to the way I thought of him before.”

“That’s easier said than done,” Namjoon muses.

“I’m getting dinner with him and Jihyo tomorrow, so we’ll see how that goes.”

“Jihyo?”

“His baby momma.”

“Kim Jihyo?”

“Yes,” Yoongi winces, “She’s a model.”

“I know! Woah, he’s with Jihyo?” 

“Well, not with, but kinda. At some point.”

Namjoon pulls out his phone and Yoongi immediately stops him with a glare.

“What?” Namjoon feigns innocence.

“Don’t search her up, Joon.”

“Don’t you want to be prepared for tomorrow?”

“No,” Yoongi sighs, “I want to get to know her like a normal person. She probably gets enough people researching her as it is, I don’t need to be one of those people.”

“I just want to peek on Naver.”

“Absolutely not!” Yoongi rolls his eyes, “Anything you learn about her, or Jungkook, comes from me.” 

“Fine,” Namjoon relents, tucking his phone away. “Just trying to look out for you. Is Yeji coming?”

“Yeah, it should be nice.”

“Where are you going?”

“Jungkook’s house.”

“Really? Have you been there before?”

“No. Curious about it though. He doesn’t, I don’t know, talk about his home life a lot. I feel like I’ll learn something knew about him.”

Namjoon is making a face at Yoongi that says: I thought you were trying to tame your feelings, not make them overflow. Privately, Yoongi thinks his feelings overflowed last night when he kissed Jungkook.

“Does he have money?”

“What?” Yoongi blinks.

“Is he rich?”

“Why would you ask that?”

“Because, I don’t know, the obscene amount of times you’ve mentioned he looks good in a suit. What’s he need suits for?”

“Work. And I don’t know, I guess he has money. His car’s really nice.” And so is his laptop, and the watch he wears, and his silver earrings, and his shoes. Now Namjoon has Yoongi wondering about something he’s never been worried about before, suddenly self-conscious over how he should present himself at the dinner. He supposes that Jihyo must live a more extravagant lifestyle than either Jungkook or himself though.

“I’m sure it will be fine. How were things this morning? Were they awkward?”

“No,” Yoongi says, but—

“I feel a but coming.”

Yoongi pushes his bowl away and sets his chopsticks down, hunger sated. Or maybe he’s just lost his appetite with all this Jungkook talk and what can never be.

“There is no but. It wasn’t weird. He just acted like it never happened. We didn’t talk about it. That’s it.” 

“Hyung,” Namjoon pressures.

He knows Yoongi too well. He can’t keep secrets.

“He hugged me.” 

“Does he not normally hug you?”

“No, we never hug. He doesn’t really touch me, I guess. He hugged me goodbye though, it was unexpected.”

“Did he say anything then?”

“Nope, he just said bye. He kind of...” Yoongi rubs his neck, blushes even though there’s no reason to, “Ruffled my hair, a bit.”

“Maybe he likes you too but doesn’t know how to say it?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. He said he’s not gay, so maybe—“

“Maybe he’s never had the chance to explore much. Since he was a teen parent. It had to have been hard for him having his youth taken away like that. You got some of yours, at least. But you definitely have missed out on a lot too.”

“We shouldn’t make assumptions,” Yoongi chastises. 

“Hyung.”

“What?” He snaps, tired of this conversation. Tired of thinking about it. Yoongi just wants to go home and see Yeji and hug her close. He wants to go to that dinner with Jihyo and Jungkook tomorrow and get it over with. There’s no point in entertaining his daydreams, they’re just fantasies. 

“Are you gonna talk to him about it?”

“Only if he wants to. I don’t want to make him even more uncomfortable.”

Namjoon nods. It seems like he wants to say something else, but it’s time for Yoongi to go. He has ideas for his book and a daughter to tuck into bed.

He lies in bed at night staring at his ceiling. Wondering if things could have gone differently.

Wishing that they had.

~

“Are we there yet?” Yeji presses her cheek to the cold glass of the his.

“Not yet,” Yoongi tugs on his daughters arm, “Don’t put your face against that. There’s germs.”

“Like kooties?”

“Kooties?”

“Yeah, Chaeryong says people have kooties.” 

“And just what do you think kooties are?” Yoongi chuckles as Yeji tucks heralded against his side. 

“I don’t know. I think you have them, too.”

Yoongi gasps in mock offense, “I have kooties!? Then why are you touching me?” 

“Appa,” Yeji audibly rolls her eyes at his outcry, “No. I’m immune to your kooties. You give kooties to Jungkook-ssi.”

Yoongi laughs, “How do I do that?”

“I don’t know. You do though.” 

“Okay, Yeji-yah,” he smiles and holds her tight. 

Jungkook lives about as far as Yoongi does from the school, except in the complete opposite direction. A thirty minute bus ride isn’t bad though, considering. Yoongi has them dress up nicely, Yeji in a dress and Yoongi in the best pair of slacks and blazer he owns, usually reserved for meetings with this publishers and other random author events. 

They hop off the bus, petrichor thick in the air and droplets covering every surface. A block into the cluster of high-rise apartments and they reach Jungkook’s. He lifts Yeji so she can hit the buzzer to the apartment.

“Jungkook-ah?”

“Yoongi-hyung! I’ll buzz you in.”

There’s the sound of static as Yoongi sets Yeji back down. She runs to the metal gate as it opens and Yoongi follows her into a large courtyard. The trees and underbrush sparkle with rain drops, the earth muddy but the grass rich green. In here, it’s far more apparent that they’re entering the expensive side of Seoul. The door to the complex pops open, and there’s Jungkook.

He’s stunning as ever. In a deep blue suit and his hair parted. As Yoongi approaches, he see some extra weariness around the younger’s eyes.

“Don’t worry,” Yoongi says.

“Huh?” Jungkook blinks in confusion.

“If your place is a mess that’s okay, we understand.”

It takes a beat, but then Jungkook laughs and fist-bumps Yeji who is looking up at him, “We keep it tidy, so I’m not worried.”

They walk with Jungkook to an elevator, Yoongi almost tripping over himself as he stares at the sleek modern design of the building. It’s simple, almost bare minimum. Like those places in movies that are all white walls and white sofas and big windows. That’s this place. It’s empty too, which is hard to come by in a city like Seoul. But that’s what happens when you have money, Yoongi supposes. More quiet. More privacy.

(Yoongi has the money to live in a place like this, and yet he chooses not to. Looking at it now, he remembers why. It may be spotless and modern, but it doesn’t feel like a home. It feels like a hotel, not a place where you raise a family.)

The elevator ride is—is where Yoongi realizes that maybe everything isn’t okay between him and Jungkook. In part because the younger is laughing too loud and his smile seems like a shadow, but mostly because Jungkook isn’t looking Yoongi in the eyes. Yeji is dancing as the sleek doors reflect her pirouettes back to her—she sticks the landing proudly. Jungkook is encouraging her, saying Chaeryong is excited to show her her room. And Yoongi feels—

A little off kilter. He just needs a deep breath, some solid ground, and he gets that as the elevator opens up and they walk out into a small lobby area. Jungkook nods to the left, and then knocks on the door.

Jihyo is positively blinding when she opens it; beaming at them as Chaeryong runs out and greets Yeji.

“Cherry! No running in the house,” Jihyo scolds, and Yoongi laughs because he knows the feeling. 

“Yoongi-ssi,” Jihyo turns on him and gestures him inside, “Come in, make yourself at home.”

They go into the apartment and Yoongi reminds Yeji to take her shoes off at the door, Jungkook kindly hanging their coats on pegs in the hall.

“Cherry, why don’t you show Yeji your room while the grown-ups get dinner ready?”

“Okay!” She squeaks. 

“Have fun,” Yoongi tells Yeji softly as she hops over to Chaeryong and they disappear around a corner.

Jungkook’s apartment isn’t anything like Yoongi anticipated. It’s clean-cut and polished and looks like it’s made for adults, not so much a dad and his 6 year old daughter. Yoongi had thought there’d be cozy rugs and gaming systems and kids toys littering every surface, but there’s not. Jihyo takes them to the kitchen, talking about how excited she is for dinner and for Yoongi to try her cooking.

“You’re a cook, too?” He asks. 

“Yes,” she smiles and opens the lid of the hamuel jeongol. The smell of seafood and peppers and thick broth hits Yoongi’s nose and he can’t help but grin, glancing at Jungkook.

“That smells so good, did you make anything?”

“Yeah, um, I made mandu but—“

“He stuffed them too full, I don’t think they would have paired well with the hot pot anyway. The flavors,” Jihyo shakes her head, “would have clashed.”

“Oh,” Yoongi frowns, Jungkook avoiding his gaze. “That’s a shame. I would have loved to try them.” 

“Maybe next time,” Jungkook shrugs. “Wanna help me set the table?”

“Sure,” Yoongi agrees, taking the stack of napkins Jungkook hands him as the younger balances bowls and chopsticks.

The dining room is through the kitchen and in the corner of the building, allowing their to be two walls of windows caging them in and providing a breathtaking view of rooftops and city lights. Yoongi hadn’t realized they were up so high, but it’s certainly nothing to sneeze at. He goes to the window and stares out at the landscape, taking it in. It’s the sort of view you write novels about.

“Don’t touch the glass or Jihyo will have your hands,” Jungkook laughs, “She hates seeing them smudged.” 

Yoongi turns around and follows Jungkook’s lead, setting down cloth napkins at every place as Jungkook carefully arranges the chopsticks and soup spoons.

“Your apartment isn’t what I thought it would be like,” Yoongi admits to him.

“What did you expect?”

“I didn’t know. Maybe a little messier?”

Jungkook snorts, “I told you we keep it tidy. Although, if you went into Chaeryong’s playroom you’d see a total explosion. It’s contained chaos.”

“Oh, okay, that makes sense. I was wondering how you could get a kid to be so clean.”

“Yeah, we tried, but I convinced Jihyo we should just let Chaeryong have some responsibility and see the consequences of having a mess. And also, I—I like that she can be a lot more creative in a space that’s not so empty,” Jungkook sighs. “I can’t work from home even though I work from home, technically. The coffee shop with you makes me way more productive than I ever am here.”

“Ah, I understand. A lot of writers I know can only work in silence, but I like having people around so I can get ideas and being influenced by stuff. It’s hard to make my stories realistic if I’m living like a hermit.”

Jungkook smiles, and Yoongi feels a thrum of validation pulse through his chest.

Jihyo joins them moments later, bringing out a variety of banchan. There’s kimchi, dubu-jorim, and multiple kinds of namul. It all looks positively delectable and Yoongi is excited to dig in. 

“Yoongi-ssi? Will you come with me to the kitchen?” Jihyo waves him over and he goes, leaving Jungkook arranging the bowls behind.

Jihyo walks likes she’s on a mission, even though she’s in a soft pair of house slippers. Her hair is immaculately styled and curled, her brows defined, and her personality so far has been nothing short of firey. He likes her attitude, and it makes sense why she’s been so successful as a model. She opens the fridge and pulls out a drawer, gesturing at the contents.

“What kind do you like?”

“Oh, I’m more of a red wine kind of guy,” Yoongi feels awkward saying it as Jihyo examines the label of a Chardonnay. He thought Jungkook was too, so it’s odd he has so much white wine in his fridge.

“Are you a soju guy too? I see why Jungkook likes you. Thankfully, I’ve convinced him to stop drinking soju—it’s cheap—and also, it’s so much easier if we just have to buy one kind of wine not two.”

Yoongi is confused by her comment, to say the least, but he lets it go. He’s certain she means nothing by ‘why Jungkook likes you’ and even more certain that if she does mean something, that it has absolutely nothing to do with the younger returning Yoongi’s feelings that he so clumsily revealed on Saturday with his kiss. He wonders if Jungkook told anyone about it, and he still isn’t sure what Jungkook thinks about it other than what he told him that night. Not to do it again.

“I think we’ll go with this Chardonnay, it should cut through the fats in the hot pot and complement it nicely. Sound okay to you?” Jihyo checks as she shuts the refrigerator, not seeming to really give him a choice. 

“Sure,” Yoongi agrees automatically.

A timer on the stove goes off and Jihyo rushes over, opening the lid to the hot pot as steam billows out. She stirs it and hums in contentment, “I think it’s done. Wanna go get the girls and we can eat?”

“Yeah, no problem.”

Yoongi leaves the kitchen opposite of the dining room, heading back through the foyer and down the hall where Chaeryong and Yeji disappeared. He can hear them giggling as he pads over the carpet, the sound of clicking toys and the girls making voices for their characters. Sometimes Yoongi thinks it would be interesting to record Yeji playing one of her games and then transcribing it, turning her story told through toys into one that’s words on pages.

He passes by a room with the door slightly opened that he can’t help but peak into—sue him, he’s curious. There’s a massive king sized four-poster bed, one of Jungkook’s black hoodies is lying on the end of the bed. It’s his bedroom. So big and empty it practically reeks of loneliness. It makes Yoongi’s chest hurt. Because he likes Jungkook, so much, and he feels lonely sometimes too. And he can picture what it could be like to lie on that big bed beside Jungkook, exchanging soft kisses and falling asleep together. That’s all he wants. But Yoongi’s not sure if it will ever happen—with Jungkook, or with anyone.

He walks past it, and finally gets to the playroom where Chaeryong and Yeji are deep in a fastical realm they’ve concocted, toy figures dueling with wands as a storm rages (Yeji improvising thunder sounds). Yoongi knocks on the door frame and smiles at the two kids that glance up to him with surprise, and then disappointment, as they realize it’s time for dinner.

 “Appa, five more minutes? We were just getting to the good part,” Yeji pouts, reminding Yoongi of himself.

“Sorry, Jihyo-ssi is calling. It’s time to eat,” he steps back to allow the girls into the hall, “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll have time after dinner to play some more.” 

“Is there dessert?” Chaeryong asks.

“I don’t know, you’d have to ask your mom.”

“Eomma doesn’t make dessert, I was hoping you brought some.” 

“Ah, no, I’m sorry,” Yoongi apologizes and Yeji tells Chaeryong they can eat dessert next time she comes to their house. 

Jungkook’s house has walls covered in generic framed photographs. A forest, a rice field, the seaside. The living room they pass through looks like it’s just for show, hardly ever relaxed in. And there really isn’t a gaming system or CDs or anything else with any character. If Yoongi didn’t know any better, he’d say this were Jihyo’s house. Wherever she lives must be fairly empty, considering she’s so frequently overseas or across the country. They can smell the hamuel jeongul getting stronger as they reach the dining room—

“You never told me that—“ Jihyo is hissing to Jungkook as they enter, the girls oblivious to them, but Yoongi freezes. They walked in on something.

The two parents are glaring at each other, immediately stepping back when they notice their company. Jihyo seems put off, and Jungkook equally irritated but wearing a better mask as he gives Chaeryong a high five.

“Please, come sit, Yoongi-ssi,” Jihyo invites, voice tight.

“Thanks,” he joins them at the table, Jungkook standing as he uncorks the bottle of wine and pours the adults small glasses. The girls get milks and then they dive into the meal. 

“Nap time is dumb, I wish we could just get a second recess,” Chaeryong frowns.

“Nap time is sooooo boring,” Yeji drags out the word as she helps herself to the banchan. 

“Ah, I wish I had a nap time in school,” Yoongi smiles.

“You just love sleeping!” Yeji laughs. “I always have to wake Appa up when he falls asleep on the couch.”

Jungkook laughs, “Your appa needs his rest.”

“Papa, did you get nap times?” Chaeryong asks.

“I did,” the younger man says, “Guess that’s where our four year difference comes in,” he nods to Yoongi.

“Or the fact that I grew up in Daegu and you lived in Busan.”

“Or that,” Jungkook amends, shrugging.

“Naps are good beauty sleep, Cherry,” Jihyo adds, “You should take advantage of them. Later you’re going to be wishing you had them.”

Yoongi thinks that’s a weird thing to say to a 6 year old, and he glances over to Jungkook to gauge his response. But the younger is silent—uncharacteristically so. He’s putting different banchan onto his serving of hot pot and starting to pass them one by one around the table so Yoongi and Yeji can reach it all. 

“Yeji,” Jihyo begins, the young girl lighting up at being addressed. “Do you write like your father?”

“Nooooo,” she shakes her head and struggles to grab a shrimp with her chopsticks, “But I do like our art class. Don’t you, Chaeryong?” 

“Yes! We’re painting on the fancy wood-paper things.” 

“A canvas?” Yoongi suggests.

“Yes! That! I’m painting our family right now,” Chaeryong smiles.

“Aw,” Jungkook tilts his head and stares at his daughter fondly. “That’s sweet of you. We’ll have to hang it up in the house.” 

“Appa, can we hang up my painting?” Yeji turns and looks at Yoongi concern. 

“Of course we can! I’d love to. What are you painting?”

“I’m painting a sunset,” she says proudly.

“I love sunsets,” Yoongi assures her.

Conversation flows easy after that. There’s lots of complimenting Jihyo’s cooking, and she talks about her recent trip to Osaka and some of the people she met there. Yoongi tells the story about the time when he and Yeji went back to Daegu and he’d left her home with his parents for an hour, and then he came back to having found them in the midst of cutting her hair and having bought her a new wardrobe. They laugh together about how their parents always think they know better, but really, they all get to be the parents now. Jihyo seems a little irritated at the idea of ignoring their input entirely, but Jungkook is on board. The girls don’t really listen to their “adult talk” and instead are discussing ideas for their game.

They turn to talking about politics and a new Seoul representative recently elected. They talk about the road with potholes and the buses that need refurbishing. Jungkook tells a story about a kitchen table he helped his dad sand down and stain and gloss when he was a kid, and Jihyo makes an off-hand comment about how she wishes he was still that handy now but spends too much time in front of the computer. Yoongi asks about the math teacher from school that’s actually Jihyo’s sister, and she enthusiastically tells him about her sister's recommendation for the school and their rigorous STEM programs. 

“I would love if Cherry focuses on something substantial in the STEM field, preferably engineering of some kind. Or maybe just mathematics, and she can become an account.”

“Jungkook-ah, does your job count as STEM?” Yoongi wonders.

“Of course it doesn’t,” Jihyo answers for Jungkook, “He’d actually have to be using some brain power for it to be even proper work.”

Jungkook laughs with her, but something about it makes Yoongi feel uneasy. 

“He showed me what he does, it seems like a really specialized skill that takes a lot of patience and a strong understanding of the audience you’re catering to, and what’s actually possible with the footage and tools you can use. I think it’s really impressive he can do video editing for a living,” Yoongi compliments, but Jungkook is tight lipped. Like he wishes Yoongi hadn’t said anything.

“He’d have to actually make a living first.”

“But he does, he lives here, doesn’t he?”

“Hyung,” Jungkook says quietly, in warning. 

“Well we both live here,” Jihyo smiles wide and fake, “And it’s not on his paycheck.” 

Yoongi frowns as the gears turn in his brain. As what she just said sinks in.

And then it clicks. All the pieces fall into place and Yoongi can’t help but gasp.

“You’re getting married?” In absolute disbelief Yoongi directs the question at Jungkook—but yet again it’s Jihyo who answers.

“Of course we are, didn’t you know that?” Jihyo asks, glancing at Jungkook as a shadow falls over her. “Didn’t he tell you?”

“No,” Yoongi admits, feeling like the wind has been knocked out of him. “No, he didn’t.”

“Jungkook,” Jihyo says sharply, “Can I speak to you in the kitchen for a moment?”

They don’t even look at each other as they get up and leave, dangerously quiet.

“Appa, they didn’t ask to be excused,” Yeji tells him as Chaeryong stares after her parents.

“No, they didn’t. Are you girls done eating?”

“Yes,” Chaeryong says, looking back and smiling. Unbothered by her parents departure.

“Alright, why don’t you go wash up and keep playing? I’ll clear your dishes for you.” 

“Really, Yoongi-ssi? Thank you!” Chaeryong squeals and hops up.

“Honey, Yeji,” Yoongi whispers, “Is the wedding you're going to with Chaeryong for her parents?”

“Yeah!” She beams, “Isn’t it exciting? They’re getting married! A happy family.”

Yoongi nods, mouth dry, and softly pats her shoulder to encourage her to go play with her friend. 

Everything makes sense now. This apartment is Jihyo’s. Decorated to her preference, kept clean at her desire, and not a speck of Jungkook’s individuality in the place. Her driving Jungkook’s car to school makes sense now. How she knew about Jungkook reading Yoongi’s books and felt no qualms about having them all hang out together. And now that Yoongi thinks about it, Jihyo has a ring on her finger. They’re engaged. They’re honest to god, getting married. Yoongi feels so fucking stupid for not having realized. For not noticing.

Jungkook had laughed when Yoongi asked about dating—Yoongi had assumed he was busy being a parent, but really, he’s been busy being engaged. Busy, probably, making wedding plans. Fuck, Yoongi kissed him. Kissed him like an idiot and Jungkook told him, flat out, don’t do that again. Guilt pools in his stomach. Jungkook always went home for dinner. Has mentioned Jihyo and him parenting together since the beginning, but since he always seemed to disagree with her Yoongi assumed it meant that they weren’t a couple. That they had shared custody of their child and had to make it work.

It makes sense now.  

Except for in the ways it really doesn’t.

It doesn’t because Jungkook always called Jihyo “Chaeryong’s mother” instead of his fiancé. It doesn’t make sense because he never said anything about planning for a wedding, though Jihyo has mentioned he had gone to a suit tailoring that morning she dropped Chaeryong off at school. It doesn’t make sense because Yoongi swears that Jungkook has flirted with him. Been physical with him, even. When they baked cookies and at the grocery store and countless times at the coffee shop when he nudged Yoongi’s foot with his own and grinned. When he winks over his laptop at Yoongi when he spaces out; all the times he and Yoongi have shared food together. When Jungkook fixed Yoongi’s scarf and stood so close, so warm. 

Yoongi doesn’t get it. Maybe Jungkook never said he was a single dad and Yoongi jumped to a couple conclusions. But he can hardly blame himself for that when Jungkook is the one who is engaged, and never said a fucking word about it.

The bowls clank loudly together as he stacks his with Chaeryong’s and Yeji’s, the chopsticks all gripped tightly in his hand.

Then he hears it.

“I’m just trying to understand, Jungkook, what’s really going on here. If this is you having second thoughts, tell me now because we can’t do this again. My parents—“ 

“I know, okay? I thought he knew!”

Yoongi steps into the kitchen, Jihyo and Jungkook facing each other with the opposite of love flickering in their eyes. Jihyo spots him, and gestures aggressively in his direction. 

“Tell him, Jungkook. Tell him right now.”

Jungkook grits his teeth, like he might argue further, and Yoongi feels so—so out of place. This isn’t the Jungkook he knows. This family drama isn’t for Yoongi to be a part of. He shouldn’t be here. This isn’t about him at all. It’s about Jihyo and Jungkook and how they’re going to get married and raise their daughter together. Yoongi isn’t a part of that equation no matter what order it’s in.

“Yoongi-ssi,” Yoongi flinches as Jungkook stares at him, face unreadable. “Did you really not know we were getting married?” 

“No,” he replies softly, “I didn’t.”

“But how?” Jungkook asks, looking confused. 

Yoongi hates that. What right does he have to be confused when he’s the one who held the answers all along?

“What do you mean, ‘how’? You never told me.” 

“But Yeji is going to the wedding.”

“She never said it was your wedding. And you didn’t either.”

“Jungkook,” Jihyo interrupts. “What the fuck are you playing at?” 

“Jihyo, what does it matter? Him not knowing means nothing, it doesn’t change anything!” Jungkook whisper-shouts.

“You can keep telling yourself that, but we both know what this is. We can’t mess this up again.”

“Jihyo—“ Jungkook starts, but she’s already turned away, is walking out towards the bedrooms. It leaves just Jungkook and Yoongi, standing in nice outfits in the kitchen at a loss.

“Yoongi, I thought you knew,” Jungkook breaks the silence.

“Of course I didn’t know. I kissed you, Jungkook. I’m not—I wouldn’t have—” he frowns, “Just because I have feelings for you doesn’t mean I’d kiss you if I knew you were engaged.”

“You have feelings for me?” Jungkook blinks.

Yoongi takes a deep breath. “Jungkook. Why did you keep this from me? I thought we were friends, and you were just—willfully ignorant this whole time, keeping this huge part of yourself and your future a secret. Did you think I wouldn’t be your friend anymore if I knew? Why didn’t you ever say anything? I thought—I thought you trusted me,” Yoongi finishes quietly, more sad than anything. 

“Hyung, I do. You’ve become my best friend and I care about you so much.” 

“Then why didn’t you tell me this?” Yoongi stares at him hard. 

Jungkook is quiet for a long moment. Yoongi thinks that maybe he doesn’t have anything to say for himself. 

“Because if I told you I was marrying Jihyo, then it would be real.”

“You don’t want to marry her?” Yoongi asks softly.

“No,” Jungkook shakes his head, “I have to. I don’t want to, but I have to. I’m not in love with her but I—“

“You don’t have to, Jungkook. It’s your life.”

“No, Yoongi, it’s not,” Jungkook says shortly, surprising the elder. “The day Jihyo found out she was pregnant is the day it stopped being my life and started being Chaeryong’s. What kind of person would I be if I was the reason half our family doesn’t speak to Chaeryong as she grows up? What kind of person would I be if I denied her the right to a healthy, loving family?”

“But how could it be loving if you don’t even love Jihyo?” 

“I do love her,” Jungkook glares, “I love her because she’s been my best friend since we were 16. I love her because she’s the mother of my daughter and because she is the only person who has been there for me the last 6 years as we raised her.”

“I didn’t mean—“ Yoongi frowns, guilt rising higher in his chest. Like it might drown his lungs. Like pneumonia.

“I know,” Jungkook says, quiet. Maybe regretful. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“I’m sorry I made assumptions,” Yoongi echoes. “But I still think you should do what makes your heart happy.”

“Yoongi, you don’t understand. I was supposed to marry her when I was 18,” Jungkook gestures, as if he were pointing at the past. “But I said no. And I’ve kept saying no, and finally Jihyo’s parents said if we didn’t get married then I couldn’t have a relationship with them or with—“ his voice breaks— “With Chaeryong.”

Yoongi lets out a silent oh as the weight of the situation settles in.

They stand silently for a long moment, the sound of rustling fabric alerting them to someone else’s presence.

“Yoongi-ssi,” it’s Jihyo, in the archway looking at him sternly, “I think it’s time you and Yeji leave. Would you like to take any leftovers?” 

“No, thank you,” Yoongi swallows hard. “Bye, Jungkook-ah.”

The younger nods, then Jihyo shows Yoongi to the playroom and then out the door. She wishes them a good evening and says she hopes to them again soon, but they all sound like sour pleasantries. Yoongi knows, just knows that what he just did probably has deeper implications for Jungkook than he can possibly imagine. He had no idea the situation Jungkook is trapped in. But it’s an impossible choice he has to make, and if Yoongi understands what Jungkook said right, then really there is no choice at all.

Yoongi tries to imagine what he himself would have done—if Yeji had been born when he was 18 years old. At that time, he was taking university entrance exams. But if he’d been thinking about having a baby—well, university probably wouldn’t have ever happened. Granted, Yoongi didn’t exactly do great in school as it was, but he would have had to have gotten a job and figured out how to support a daughter at such a young age. In all likelihood, he wouldn’t have become an author like he is now. He wonders if Yeji’s mother would have chosen differently about parenting if they had both been younger, and she didn’t already have her heart set on a doctorate.

Yoongi can’t assume what Jungkook’s responsibilities were then, but based on his loyalty to his family, Yoongi assumes that he never had the opportunity to be a young adult in the same way the elder did. Yoongi did the university parties thing, got wasted and had fun and made bad decisions. But Jungkook—would be have been able to do any of that? Would he have been able to travel or rest or wonder what he was going to do for the rest of his life, or did he learn the news of Chaeryong and immediately have to skip being young and just be a parent?

Yeji is quiet on the bus ride home, he wonders if she can sense what’s wrong.

“Appa?”

“Yes?”

“Are you sad that Jihyo-ssi and Jungkook-ssi are getting married?”

“No, sweetie,” he runs his fingers through her hair, “I’m not sad. I’m just surprised. I didn’t know.”

“Do you wish you were married?” She asks, looking at him with wide eyes. 

“No,” he tells her honestly, “Are you sad I’m not married?”

“No,” she shakes her head.

“It’s okay if you are,” Yoongi assures her, “I understand if you feel like that.”

“I’m not sad,” Yeji insists, then adds laughing, “Who would you even marry, Appa?”

“Hmm,” Yoongi grins, “Maybe...Lee Minho?”

“Who is that?”

“He’s from that drama I always watch,” Yoongi explains.

“Ohhhhhh,” Yeji makes a face, “I hate when you watch that! It’s so cringey!”

“Where’d you learn that word? Cringey?” Yoongi laughs.

“Chaeryong says it!” Yeji exclaims, then, “You would marry a boy?”

“If I ever wanted to marry someone, I would marry a boy,” Yoongi tells her.

Yeji nods, “Can two boys get married?”

Yoongi takes a deep breath, “In a lot of countries, they can.”

“Where?”

“North America, Europe, Australia, Argentina, Brazil—“

“Korea?”

“Not yet,” Yoongi whispers, rubbing Yeji’s back softly. “But maybe one day.” 

“I want you to get married if you want to, Appa,” she frowns.

“Thank you, sweetie. But you don’t need to worry about it right now.”

“Can you show me a picture of Lee Minho?”

Yoongi snorts and finds him on Naver, he turns the phone screen towards Yeji and she makes a face.

“He’s ugly,” she complains mercilessly. 

“You don’t like him?”

“No!”

Yoongi laughs, finding this absolutely hilarious.

“Then who would you like better? Who would be a good match for me?”

“Don’t you like Jungkook-ssi?”

Yoongi blinks at her, “What?”

“I think he’s way nicer than Lee Minho. He doesn’t hurt my eyes.”

“Well, maybe, but you know he’s getting married already.”

“I guess,” Yeji shrugs. 

“What do you mean, ‘you guess’?” Sensing that his daughter knows more than she’s letting on.

“Chaeryong says they don’t like each other. She says her eomma wants to live in Japan.”

Yoongi isn’t sure what that means, and decides not to press it. It’s not his business. A small part of Yoongi is still bitter that Jungkook never outright told him he’s getting married. He’s bitter that he wasn’t trusted, that they’ve known each other for over 6 months and he never mentioned it. Bitter because if Jungkook had wanted him to know anything he would have told him, but he never did. Yoongi wonders what would have happened had Yoongi never found out, and then one day he saw Jungkook at school and there was a wedding ring on his finger. For so many reasons, Yoongi glad that’s not the way it happened. 

He doesn’t mean to sound entitled. Mostly, he understands why Jungkook didn’t tell him. That’s what stings the most. He understands why Jungkook didn’t tell him about he engagement, and so he can’t really feel mad. When you’re trapped between a rock and a hard place, sometimes it’s a relief to get your mind off of it for a moment and just distract yourself with something that isn’t related to your problems. Is that what Yoongi is to him, then? A distraction?

They almost miss their stop, Yoongi so lost in thought, but thankfully Yeji is paying attention and hops up when she sees their apartment building approaching.

~

Yoongi

He’s getting married

Namjoon

Who??

Yoongi

Jungkook

Namjoon

woah what??? I didn’t know he had a girlfriend?

Yoongi

no

He’s been engaged to his baby mama since I first met him

Namjoon

But that was forever ago? You just told me now?

You kissed him!!!!!

Yoongi

Joon

I

I literally just found out today

Namjoon

what do you mean 

Yoongi

He never told me joon

He kept it a secret and didn’t tell me

He said he did it on purpose

Namjoon

why? 

Yoongi

He doesn’t want to get married to her

Namjoon

Oh

Oh

What are you going to do?

Yoongi

Nothing

It’s not my place

There’s nothing I can do

He knows that I like him though

But joon

I feel stupid

I thought that maybe

Maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe

And now it’s just

Never never never

Namjoon

You said you were okay with being just friends before

How is now any different?

Yoongi

Because before, if he didn’t have feelings back, then that’s okay

But now, he could have feelings back, but still can’t

Still can’t be with me

Joon it’s

How can I do that? How could I be friends with him if we both know our feelings run deeper than that?

Namjoon

Do you know that he’d be with you if he could? 

Yoongi

Well

No 

Namjoon

don’t speculate hyung

Don’t ask “what if’s” because that’s just gonna make everything harder

Stuck with what you know to be true

Yoongi

okay

You’re right

You’re right of course

I should be so silly

Namjoon

It’s not silly to ask yourself questions hyung

Just don’t put too much pressure on yourself

Whatever is meant to happen, will happen

Yoongi

you know how I feel about destiny

Namjoon

I do

But I also know that you’re writing a book about soulmates right now

So don’t pretend like you don’t believe in fate, just a little

Yoongi

you’re giving me too much hope

Namjoon

Sometimes fate isn’t what we expect it to be, hyung

Remember that

Yoongi

okay

~

Yoongi

I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t mess anything up for you

Jungkook

it’s okay. We’re fine.

like. Me and Jihyo are fine.

And me and you are fine too. We’ll always be.

Yoongi

I like you so much and I think we could be great together.  When I picture being with someone I picture being with you

[Message not sent]

~

Nothing really changes. Yeji goes to school, she plays with Chaeryong, she hates math but likes art. The winter gets less harsh, and some days start frosty and end with the sun high in the sky, warming the earth.

But they don’t get coffee anymore. Jungkook drops Chaeryong off and hugs her goodbye, and then heads back towards his car that he parks in front of the school. A part of Yoongi thinks, selfishly, that if the kiss and Yoongi’s confession truly meant nothing to Jungkook—then there should be no reason for him to be avoiding a conversation with Yoongi.

He’s nearly done with his next novel, sending pages studiously to his editor and getting feedback. He makes changes to the relationship progression and setting and cuts out chunks of gratuitous dialogue, making it concise while maintaining a certain level of his poetic style. The book isn’t like the other ones he’s written. It’s bright—and dark—and deals with the more realistic aspects of a relationship. A relationship that is determined by a “soulmate” connection, but isn’t automatically easy to maintain.

It’s both easier and harder to write without Jungkook sitting across from him at the table. Yoongi tries not to think about it too much, but it’s hard when he still sees him and Yeji mentions Chaeryong and—

He needs a break.

There’s an art show tonight, with potluck style snacks. Yoongi thinks it will be a great chance to show Yeji how to make his kimchi.

First thing in the morning they wake up together and pull three heads of napa cabbage out of the fridge. They cover the leaves in salt, and as they let it sit they play hangman and read books together. Yeji has become an enthusiastic reader, even if she struggles with every other word. Yoongi swells with pride at her perseverance, and suddenly has an urge to write book that she could read. All his are targeted towards adults, but he wonders what it would be like to write a kids book. Something clever and cute, and maybe he’d write it under the name Min Yoongi instead of Suga.

He’ll have to pitch the idea to his agent, see if his publisher (or a different one) could have interest.

It comes time to chop the daikon radish, green onion, and carrot. When they’re prepped, he starts to cover the napa and veggies in gochugaru and seasonings. The plastic gloves are huge on Yeji’s hands and her fingers are clumsy, but together they get through it all—jarring half for home, the rest going straight into tubaware to bring tonight. He’s sure a half dozen other parents will have the same idea, but Yoongi’s confident his is the best. His secret? No fish sauce.

They get changed and cleaned up. It’s another one of those events where parents dress to impress, and to flex on the other parents how wealthy they are or how talented their kid is. (Yoongi picked up the word flex from Jungkook, and it seems very fitting here.) While Yoongi hates being drawn into silent competitions to show off—both because he thinks it’s petty and also because he doesn’t really care about their opinions—he dresses well tonight anyway. That means a button up and a cotton jumper, a new blazer he bought over the top and dark colored slacks. He even shined his shoes up.

The most intimidating part of getting ready has always been his hair.

“Appa, what are you doing?” Yeji snickers as she watches him put mouse in his hair. “Is that shaving cream? Are you shaving your hair!?”

“No, no,” Yoongi chuckles, “This is supposed to make my hair fluffier.”

“You should wear your glasses,” Yeji suggests.

“Oh, that’s not a bad idea, honey,” Yoongi finishes getting his hair straightened out and opens the cabinet, grabbing his glasses out and sliding them onto his face. They take a few seconds to get used to, but he has to admit it makes him look a level sophisticated he usually doesn’t. (Maybe part of him wants to look especially good tonight in case Jihyo or Jungkook happen to be there with Chaeryong. He’s not sure why it matters. But it does.) 

“What do you think, does Appa look good?” He waggles his eyebrows at his daughter. 

She laughs, “Only if you stop that!”

“Alright, ready to go?”

“Can you braid my hair first, please?”

“Of course.”

He combs his fingers through her soft black hair, lost in thoughts of his book and his daughter and what the future holds for them. He thinks about her asking about him getting married and wonders if she’d be happier if he was. If he had done something like Jungkook is, where maybe it’s not fulfilling his love life but maybe it could make Yeji’s childhood more full, more well rounded. But then he remembers that he doesn’t want to lie to her, and that Yoongi believes his own happiness will reflect onto her. He’s happy on his own, so.

(my twt)

Chapter Text

The event is lively inside the gym. Student artwork is hung on every wall, and there’s tables with sculptures and paper mache and science experiments. There’s model volcanoes that some kids are showing off to their parents, making them explode with baking soda. Like Yoongi suspected, the adults are all dressed up and this time he feels like he fits in much better. It helps that a lot of them have become familiar faces, and that Yeji is so enthusiastic about the entire thing. Granted, she seems most excited about the potluck tables set up in the center.

She runs to them and sets down their tub of freshly made kimchi, removing the lid and then grabbing a paper plate and disposable chopsticks so she can taste test everyone’s food. Yoongi isn’t hungry yet, so he just hovers behind her and passes judgement on the other kimchis.

They walk around the perimeter of the space, passing by other kids and parents. Yeji tells Yoongi about each student whose piece they stop to admire. Tells him about the boy who breaks every crayon he touches, the girl who always eats granola bars in the middle of class, and the kids who congregate in a circle at recess and play Pokémon. Some of the paintings clearly have been given more time and attention, while other students merely got the work done for a grade. It’s impressive how talented all these kids are anyway. Each painting or drawing or collage completely unique and self-inspired.

There’s a magnificent paper mache tree on display. It doesn’t look like a student could have made it. It painted gray with black details, and hanging from the twisted paper branches are leaves cut into star shapes. They’re painted red and golden yellow, like autumn.

“This is Chaeryong’s,” Yeji says, “Isn’t it amaaaaaazing? I wish I could do art like her.” 

“It’s definitely impressive,” Yoongi admits, “But you don’t need to compare yourself to her. When I first started writing I wrote about guppies meeting a coy fish and my friend would write about adventures and dragons. But, I’ve worked really hard I write books, but he never did.

“Guppies?” Yeji repeats, “Appa, will you write me a book about Guppies? The guppies versus the coy gang. Maybe they can be at a battle of the bands!”

She rambles on and Yoongi admires her creativity, taking note of her suggestions in his mind.

Yeji has a massive easel displaying her work, thick paint covering the canvas. He’s shocked by it, immediately in awe. 

“This painting is as big as you!” Yoongi grins, wanting to touch it but refraining. “Oh, Yeji. This is incredible.”

It is. It really is. She’s painted a grassy hill with a little white and brown house sitting on top, complete with shutters and windows and a little chimney on top. In the background is another hill dappled with trees, and there’s puffy white clouds globbed in the blue sky. Some of the colors are smudged together and he can see where mistakes were painted over, but it’s a masterpiece in his eyes. 

“Wow, wow, Yeji.”

“Don’t pretend Appa,” Yeji frowns. 

“I’m not pretending,” Yoongi squats down and faces her, “Yeji-yah, I love it so much. Can we hang it up at home? I want to look at it when you’re at school, when I miss you. I like it so much, it’s beautiful.”

“You’re embarrassing me,” she’s biting her lip and shoving his shoulder, signaling that he should stand back up. “You really like it?” 

“Yes,” he tells her, standing, “I really do. It looks like you took your time with it. I like this, here,” he points at the little tree trunks in the back. 

He goes through and notices each part of her painting, asking her how she did, if she drew it first, which part was the hardest to make. At first, she seems hesitant to explain her process, but eventually she opens up and tells him everything about the painting and more. Yoongi is so lost in his daughter’s story he doesn’t notice anyone else in the gym, they all become irrelevant. 

The spell is broken when a girl runs up to Yeji and bounces around her painting.

“Yeji, your painting is so cool up there!” Chaeryong says.

Yoongi startles, looking up and around for—

Of all the possible situations he imagined for tonight, he never considered Jihyo and Jungkook actually showing up together for the event. They look stunning. They’re two of the youngest parents here, but they radiate a certain energy that has a crowd of five or six parents surrounding them. It’s then that he remembers that Jihyo is a celebrity, and it shows. Jungkook looks handsome in his dark grey suit, own side of his hair slicked back and the other laying delicately off one side in smooth, dark waves. He has a hand on Jihyo’s back as she chats with the other parents up, gazing around the gym as if they had just arrived.

They’re engaged. And Jungkook is playing his part. Yoongi wonders what Jihyo thinks about it all, if she is in love with Jungkook like Yoongi is and—

He stops, putting his back to the couple and shoving his hands in the pockets of his pants. Yoongi’s head spins. Love is...love is too much—right? Too much? Does he really feel so strongly for the other man that he’d call it love?

“Appa, we’re gonna go eat!” Yeji tells him and then runs off with Chaeryong. They show each other the dishes they brought and then grab up treats from the dessert table and cups of juice. 

“Hyung,” Yoongi nearly falls over at the sound of his voice. Jungkook is now by Yeji’s painting, Yoongi hadn’t even heard him walk over, and is looking at it. “Is that your kimchi over there?”

“Oh, yeah it is,” Yoongi confirms.

“It’s delicious,” Jungkook grins at him, “I’m so glad you brought it. I still need your recipe.”

“One day,” Yoongi says, wishing his voice didn’t come out so heavy. 

“Are you okay?” Jungkook looks at him harder and steps closer.

“I’m fine. I’m just—moved by Yeji’s painting. She really worked so hard and it turned out so nice. She reminds me of myself.”

Jungkook smiles, “Yeah. I understand that. I like your glasses, by the way.”

Yoongi’s hands fly to his face and he touches the frames on his nose, almost having forgotten they were there.

“Oh, thank you. Yeji said I should wear them.”

“Well, you should keep taking fashion advice from her.” 

“Maybe,” Yoongi’s lips quirk up. “Does Chaeryong pick out your outfits?” 

“No, but her mother does,” Jungkook sounds sour and Yoongi frankly finds it absurd that despite Yoongi knowing that they’re engaged that Jungkook still calls her that. As if distancing himself as much from her as he can before, ultimately, she is his wife.

“Well, a suit looks good on you anyway.”

Jungkook smiles, and then his expression changes, “Can I show you something?” 

“Okay,” Yoongi agrees instantly, eyes flicking to check on Yeji and seeing her entertained by her friends and cookies.

They exit the gym and enter the school. The hallways are dark, with just a little light streaming in from the windows. Jungkook doesn’t say anything as they walk over the linoleum, shoes clacking. They reach a large display with old photos, trophies, and medals won by students, and the younger man squints at the array of items. Yoongi glances around the shadowy hall, feeling like they shouldn’t be here but intrigued by Jungkook’s determination.

“What are you looking for?”

“Well,” Jungkook breathes out through his nose, leaning his back against the glass and facing Yoongi, “When I was in high school I came here for a theatre competition.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It was really cool. It was a bunch of thespians and band kids and singers and improv crews. All the theatre teachers were hip and silly and always made everyone feel comfortable. Actually, I remember some jock dude had been really rude to me one day, and my favorite teacher had come up to me and reassured me.”

“Which were you?” Yoongi asks, “Band, or improv, or what?”

“Musical theatre was my jam,” Jungkook smiles wide at the memory and Yoongi laughs, “I loved it so much. I competed with two songs here, and I won all the rounds I was in. I thought maybe there’d be a picture of me in here.” 

“Oh, I see now.”

“Yoongi-hyung,” Jungkook’s voice is soft as he comes closer and looks down at him. For a second, it’s almost like Jungkook is going to touch him. Like he might put his hand in Yoongi’s hair or on his arm or maybe—maybe—

He does. Jungkook strokes through his sticky hair and huffs a laugh when he notices the product, and he hand is warm and big as it cups the side of Yoongi face. Yoongi can’t breathe, eyes wide as he stares up Jungkook. And now he knows for certain, he’s definitely in love with Jungkook. They’re so close now that Yoongi can smell his body wash and see the dark circles under Jungkook’s eyes and the intense sadness rolling off him like a waterfall over rocks.

”Chaeryong knows something is wrong.”

”What do you mean?” Yoongi heart is going a mile a minute.

”She knows me and Jihyo aren’t happy, and she’s hurting.”

Yoongi slowly lets his hand drift up to cover Jungkook’s hand with his own. 

“You’ll figure it out. You’ll do what’s right.”

There’s a pause, with their eyes locked.

“We should go back,” Jungkook whispers.

Yoongi nods, and the younger’s hand falls away. He’s not sure what the point of Jungkook telling him that story about high school was, but he knows that Jungkook is struggling with something and that maybe Yoongi isn’t totally crazy for thinking his feelings have been reciprocated all along.

The gym seems too bright when they walk back inside, and he cringes when Jihyo zeros in on them from afar before gesturing Jungkook over with her nails. Jungkook leaves Yoongi’s side and when he gets to her Jihyo grips his bicep tightly, turning back to the crowd to introduce her fiancé properly to them. She gesticulate and he can her voice echoing around the gym. 

“Yoongi-ssi.” 

Yoongi jumps at the harsh whisper and finds Kwon Sohee—Jihyo’s sister and Yeji’s math teacher—cornering him. 

“Oh, hello, Sohee-ssi. This is a nice event.”

“It is. The art department does a good job.”

“They really do, I’m glad the school cares so much about the arts.”

“We do,” Sohee agrees, and Yoongi feels tense as she takes a deep breath. “We also care about our families, and having a decent community to support our kids in. Yoongi-ssi, my sister tells me that you’ve been a nuisance for her engagement. I’d hate to see that fall apart for her.”

“Her engagement isn’t any of my business,” Yoongi scowls at the teacher, tone flat. “I have no involvement in it, like at all. I hardly know her.”

“Yoongi-ssi,” Sohee turns smiles sickly sweet, “Don’t be a home wrecker. I think you know how hard it is to raise a child alone—so be careful. Okay?”

“Did Jihyo tell you to say this?”

“What if I told you Jungkook-ssi did?”

Yoongi blinks, “I wouldn’t believe you.”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s—“

“He’s none of your business, is what he is.” 

With that, Sohee walks away and Yoongi is even more confused than before.

He doesn’t understand these people so set in their gender roles and traditional Korean values. Getting married young and staying married even if you grow to hate each other. He hates the homophobic micro-aggressions media throws at him every day, and how internalized the hatred has become in some people. He hates that Jihyo and Jungkook are from conservative Busan families that told them to get married, and control their lives with threats to withhold affection and attention to their granddaughter. Yoongi wishes things were different, but knows it’s out of his hands.

~

Jungkook

I read devilish dreams

How could you make me feel so bad for Lucifer

Like I really feel for the guy

All he wanted was some democracy and stupid god had too big an ego

Wow

I’m lowkey surprised this book got published

Like you know,, controversy

You know how christian koreans are

But it’s also like

PEAK wet dream material

Like the devil with luscious hair and good body proportions and fantastic hygiene? We love a clean Lucy

Yoongi

STOP

Jungkook

I wondered how long it would take for you to reply

Yoongi

This exact book is the very reason I don’t tell anyone my pen name

It was one of my earliest ones

You know what my publisher said when they accepted it?

Jungkook

Omg What 

Yoongi

That old horny women were gonna eat up

And they sold it in drug stores and at checkout lines at grocery stores

So people could but it without shame, and have less to contemplate the implications of their decisions 

Jungkook

Your publisher is savage 

Yoongi

Truly

Jungkook

Hey

Yoongi

Yeah?

Jungkook

I’m sorry

For making things weird between us

They don’t need to be

Yoongi

I’m pretty sure I’m the one who made things weird

Jungkook

No

No

You did nothing wrong

Hyung

Yoongi

Yeah?

Jungkook

I’m gonna say something stupid

You don’t need to say it back

Yoongi

okay

Jungkook

You’re my best friend

Yoongi

Oh 

Jungkook

I know it’s stupid but

I haven’t been able to spend time with anyone like I spent time with you

And I don’t think we need to stop

I know things were weird

But they’re good again 

Yoongi

What about,, 

Jungkook

Jihyo is fine

We picked a wedding date

She’s happy 

Yoongi

you did? When is it?

Jungkook

June 26th

A few weeks after school ends

We wanted to go to her parents town and get everything ready

But they’re doing most the planning

Jihyo is too busy and so am I

The wedding is for them anyway

Yoongi

Congrats! I’m sure it will be fun

Jungkook

maybe 

Yoongi

Can I

Can I ask something

Jungkook

Yeah

I think I owe you that much

Yoongi

You don’t owe me anything

You’re just doing what’s right for your family

Jungkook

What’s your question

Yoongi

Does Jihyo want to get married or is she doing it out of obligation? 

Jungkook

She wants to

She loves her parents

She says family is first everyday

She still doesn’t forgive me for saying no all those years ago

Yoongi

Oh

Jungkook

Is it okay for you?

Yoongi

Is what?

Jungkook

If we hang out again,, are you okay with that?

Yoongi

Why wouldn’t I be?

Jungkook

Because

Because you said that you have feelings for me

Yoongi

Oh

Well that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends

I love having friends

It goes both ways, Jungkook

You’ve become one of my best friends too

I don’t want to lose that

Jungkook

You don’t? 

Yoongi

Of course not

I’m okay as long as you are

Jungkook

Alright

Coffee soon then?

Yoongi

Whenever you want! 

Jungkook

Okay

Jihyo’s in Japan again for a shoot

Yoongi

Ah

how is she?

I’m sorry you don’t have to say, that was weird to ask 

Jungkook

you're fine 

but since you asked I think

i think she might be more upset with me than she lets on 

She keeps disappearing on the phone 

but then again, she always does that 

I get the feeling she’s talking about me though

Yoongi 

In what way?

Jungkook

I’m terrified I could lose her and Chaeryong  

I don’t what I’d do without them

Yoongi

you think Jihyo will abandon you? 

Jungkook

no. I mean. In my nightmares, yes. But I trust her, hyung. You know?? Like I trust her to do what’s best for Chaeryong and that’s all that matters

Yoongi

then you have nothing to worry about  

~

When they reach their usual hideout, they find it closed for renovations.

“What?” Jungkook exclaims and presses his face to the glass, peering inside. “How dare they! We were just trying to have a friendship date!”

Yoongi laughs at Jungkook’s cuteness and to relieve the pressure building in his chest, “Let’s just go somewhere else.”

“Okay,” Jungkook frowns. “This sucks though. I love their coffee.”

“It is good.”

“The best,” Jungkook reaffirms as they walk along the sidewalk back in the direction of the school. 

A few rain drops fall on Yoongi’s head and he looks up at the dark sky, “Oh no.” 

Then it’s pouring. Absolutely pouring. They’re running and running and running and suddenly they’re in Jungkook’s car and their hair is plastered to their foreheads. They look at each other, wet to the bone as the rain pounds on the windows, and they burst into laughter.

“Holy shit, that’s some rain,” Jungkook comments.

Yoongi smiles big, “I’m so refreshed.”

“It’s like a free shower from nature.”

“That’s why they’re called rain showers,” Yoongi points out.

“Okay, smarty pants. But I’d say this is more like a firehose than a sprinkle.”

Yoongi’s lips quirk, and if he could, he would kiss Jungkook right now. 

“Let’s go,” Jungkook hums and turns on his car, hands strong on the wheel as he pulls into the street.

“Where to?” 

“Somewhere where we can get free coffee and a towel.”

Yoongi scrunches his face, “A homeless shelter?”

“No,” Jungkook shoots him a grin, “My house, obviously.”

“Oh.”

“Is that okay?” Jungkook asks, suddenly sounding nervous.

“Yeah, I’m just surprised.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry I never took you there before. But now the cat’s outta the bag so I figure it can’t hurt,” Jungkook explains nonchalantly. 

When they arrive, Jungkook finds some clean towels and tosses one to Yoongi. The elder dries his hair out like a dog and Jungkook simply wraps his around his neck as starts up the Keurig. He puts in a pod of coffee and grabs a nice big mug, setting sugar and creamer on the counter so Yoongi can help himself. Yoongi’s sleeves are sticking to his arm and he can’t help but to shiver a little.

“Do you wanna borrow a shirt?” Jungkook asks as he pulls his wet sweater off, nearly taking his tee with it and exposing his midriff to Yoongi who tries not to stare.

“Um, that would be cool,” Yoongi accepts, head swimming.

“Okay, make your coffee and I’ll be right back.”

Yoongi does as he says, searching the drawers for a spoon and then stirring a little bit of sugar into his mug. He replaces it and the coffee pod with new ones so Jungkook’s will be ready when he returns.

The apartment feels different with just them in it. The energy is brighter, the air less tense. Almost like a home. He spots a toy on the counter and smiles. (A part of him feels bad at the implications, though. That Jungkook and Chaeryong have a better time together when Jihyo is gone.) Yoongi sips his coffee and shuts his eyes.

In his book, he’s working on a scene where the protagonist can either choose to stay with the person they’ve loved for years, or they can leave them and decide to be with their soulmate. It’s an impossible decision for anyone. Do you be with who destiny says is made for you, or do you be with the person you’ve dedicated your life to already? Maybe the story he’s writing hits a little too close reality, but that’s part of the reason why he feels so confident about it. 

“Here, Yoongi-yah,” Jungkook snaps Yoongi out of it, handing a dry black shirt over.

“Who said you could speak to me so informally?” Yoongi grins and takes the shirt.

“My house, my rules,” Jungkook says, smug.

“I made coffee for you,” Yoongi gestures at the mug, now full of steaming hot coffee.

Jungkook smiles and picks it up, blowing off some of the steam.

Yoongi takes that as his cue to go change, finding the bathroom easily. He takes off his wet shirt and pulls on Jungkook’s, the smell of the other man filling his nostrils. He smells so good it makes Yoongi pinch the hem of the shirt and pull it up to his nose, taking a deep breath of it. It’s so silly, and when he catches sight of himself in the mirror he feels even more stupid. He knows it’s never gonna happen, so why is he still holding out hope? They picked a wedding date, for gods sake. Jungkook is going to marry Jihyo and Yoongi is gonna have to live with it.

Jungkook is munching on something when he returns, and immediately offers one of the pink and white frosting-covered animal cookies to Yoongi.

“These are for Yeji, but they’re fucking delicious so I always eat half of them. The sprinkles just make them, mm, so good,” Jungkook says dramatically.

Yoongi accepts one of the cookies and bites into it, humming, “It is good. These are supposed to be animal shaped?”

“Right? They either look like blobs or like camels and there’s no in between.”

“Do you have any work to do today?” Yoongi grabs a handful of the cookies and washes them down with coffee.

“Yes,” Jungkook sighs, “But I’m tired. I’m thinking of calling and telling them to have one of the other editors finish the video but, I don’t know.”

“Do you have any video games? I didn’t see any last time I was here.”

Jungkook’s brows raise, “Do I ever! I have a bunch. Do you wanna play?”

“I mean,” he shrugs, “Kinda?”

“Hell yeah, what do you want to play?”

Yoongi rubs his neck, “Minecraft?”

Jungkook laughs, “Okay, I see you. Minecraft it is. Let’s get it.”

They go into the living room and Jungkook opens up the cabinet beneath where the television is mounted on the wall. Inside are dozens and dozens of CDs, for Xbox and PlayStation, and he has a Switch too. He opens the Minecraft box and puts it into the Xbox, grabbing controllers and firing them up.

“Top or bottom?” He spins around, looking tall as Yoongi sits on the couch.

“What?” Yoongi blushes, flustered by the excitement in Jungkook’s eyes and the question itself.

“Do you want to be on the top or bottom of the screen?” Jungkook repeats.

“Oh,” Yoongi sets his mug down on the coffee table, “Bottom.”

“Okay, great,” and Jungkook hands over the corresponding controller.

The younger flops onto the couch, weight lowering the cushions and minutely shifting Yoongi closer to him. Jungkook bites his tongue between his teeth as he logs in and a new world loads for them, spawning them into a winter biome, characters on top of big evergreens as it snows. They play rather quietly, controllers clicking as they punch down trees and craft axes, Jungkook laughing when Yoongi punches a sheep to death. The Minecraft music plays in the background, and Yoongi has never felt so relaxed. Who knew playing a video game could do wonders for his stress? He likes Minecraft because ultimately it’s about survival, and it isn’t a competition, as long as you don’t play it online. He used to play the mobile game on his phone, but got tired of it after awhile.

“A lot of people would give me shit for not playing this on the PC,” Jungkook says.

“Well, I’ve only ever played it on my phone before, so...”

“No way? Really?”

“Yeah?”

Jungkook cracks up, apparently finding this information highly entertaining, “I somehow believe that, coming from you.”

“What does that mean?”

“That means you have a fucking Android, hyung. Of course you only play Minecraft on mobile.”

“Should I feel insulted right now?” Yoongi chuckles. “Because I’m not. Apple ain’t shit, you know.”

“But Android has such a crappy camera.” 

“You got me there,” Yoongi concedes, and then proceeds to whack Jungkook’s Minecraft character with a steak. 

“Hey!” The younger exclaims and begins chasing Yoongi’s person around with a wooden sword.

They laugh at each other, working together to construct a mini house right beside a lake, where they grow wheat and some carrots they stole from villagers. Jungkook questions the morals that playing Minecraft teaches you and Yoongi defends it, saying that it’s all a lesson about being self-sufficient and braving the unknown. They finish all the animal cookies and Jungkook says he needs to pick up more from the corner store before Chaeryong gets home, or else she’ll be livid. Yoongi smiles fondly, understanding. Yeji gets mad if he eats her leftovers in the middle of the night without asking—but sometimes he just has to because he needs sustenance so he can continue writing deep into the early hours of the morning. 

Jungkook’s phone rings while they’re deep in a cave mining ores, and he says, “Don’t let a spider eat me,” as he gets up to answer it.

Yoongi doesn’t try to overhear the conversation, but Jungkook isn’t exactly trying to be quiet.

“Hey, Eomma. What’s up?” 

Yoongi’s pickaxe breaks and he groans, turning his character around to go find where they set the crafting table down at. 

“No, I haven’t seen anything. What happened?”

There’s a long pause as Yoongi flicks through the crafting options impatiently. 

“What? What do you mean—Eomma. Are you serious? Shit,” and then Jungkook is back in the living room, pressing his phone to his chest. “Yoongi, look up Kim Jihyo for me, will you?”

Startled by Jungkook’s frantic tone and dark features he does as he’s asked, reminded of all the times he told Namjoon not to look her up as he types in the name to Naver. It takes a moment for the results to load, but when they do a dozen trending articles from Dispatch fill the screen. The cover photos are of Jihyo in Japan with—

“Lemme see,” Jungkook demands and Yoongi hands his phone over as the younger goes back to talking with his mom. Jungkook sits on the couch next to Yoongi and the elder wonders if he should move into another room or not. “Holy shit. These look real. Is Jihyo really...” he shakes his head and Yoongi watches emotions flash through his face... “Eomma, have you talked to the Kim’s yet? Okay. Well, I'm gonna go, and I’m going to call her. Thank you for letting me know right away. Yes. Love you, bye.”

Jungkook hangs up, and when he looks at Yoongi again it’s with huge, teary eyes.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi whispers.

“Yeah,” Jungkook hands the phone back to Yoongi and scrolls through the photos in the Dispatch article. “Look at that.”

Yoongi squints. And then it dawns on him. What he’s looking at clicks. It’s unmistakably Jihyo, and she’s with an older man. A different man. They’re in a car, like the photo was taken through the window at a distance, and if Yoongi’s eyes aren’t deceiving him, it looks like the two are kissing. In fact, the more pictures Yoongi looks at the more obvious it becomes that Jihyo is seeing this man. There’s pictures of them meeting up outside a restaurant, a hotel, holding hands at night as they walk through the streets. Another article has pictures from inside a large studio, a place set up for a photo shoot. Whoever leaked this story, was someone on the inside. The pictures are of Jihyo and this guy exchanging a kiss on set, standing close with his hands all over her. 

Yoongi exits out and looks through other headlines, one in particular standing out.

Kim Jihyo Announces Engagement to Childhood Sweetheart, Jeon Jungkook

The date is from August 3rd, last year.

All this time, the secret Jungkook has kept, intentionally or no, was right here. One search away. Below that, is another title reading:

Top Model Kim Jihyo Cheats on Fiancé; Spotted in Tokyo

Yoongi looks over at Jungkook who is making a call, waiting on someone to pick up. He tries again. And again. Before sighing and pressing his palms to his eyes. Yoongi can’t help but reach over and place a reassuring hand on his thigh, not sure what to say or even what Jungkook might be feeling. The younger’s hand falls on top of his, heavy and warm, and then Jungkook is intertwining their fingers together and Yoongi gets the breath knocked out of him. Jungkook doesn’t look at him, but he doesn’t need to. Yoongi knows what he’s saying.

There’s a chance.

Maybe an infinitesimally small one, but still, a chance all the same.

~

Chaeryong’s not at school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Neither Jungkook or Jihyo show up in the mornings, and Yeji says she misses her friend. Yoongi doesn’t message Jungkook because he knows he’s probably busy dealing with the carnage that is the consequence of Jihyo’s bombshell. It’s a terrible thing that media can hold someone’s life in their hands, and choose whether to ruin it or to exploit it. Yoongi keeps an eye on Naver, but nothing much happens besides people picking sides and a debate over whether its adultery or just cheating, since they were engaged to be married. There’s photos of Jihyo at the airport, so Yoongi knows she’s back in Seoul. 

“Appa.”

“Yes?” 

“Chaeryong came back!”

“She did?”

“Yes!” Yeji points her out by the school as kids pour out of the doors and go to their parents. “Her auntie took her to school.”

“Oh, is she okay?” 

“She’s happy,” Yeji answers. “Her mom is going to be in town more.”

Yoongi thinks that’s likely an outcome of the scandal. Especially for female models, it can be frighteningly easy to lose favor in the industry.

~

Yoongi’s mom is here. She’d mentioned coming out to visit, but he thought he’d get more warning than her just randomly showing up on doorstep.

“Mom?” 

“Yoongi-yah!”

She hugs him before he can do anything, smelling of face cream and hair spray. She’s carrying a large bag that Yoongi takes from her smoothly, leaning into the hug. 

“Yeji, Halmeoni is here!” Yoongi steps back and welcomes his mom, Yuna, inside.

Yeji’s feet shuffle over the hardwood as she emerges from her room, lighting up at the sight of her grandmother. They saw her only a couple of months ago in Daegu, but Yeji is especially close to her. Yoongi thinks she’s probably the maternal presence other parents have always told Yoongi Yeji needs.

Yoongi cleans his room for her, fresh bedsheets and fluffed pillows. He sets her stuff inside and lights a candle, hoping to clear out the smell of his stress and old books covering his walls. He’s planning to sleep on the couch for the duration of his mom’s stay, which he isn’t exactly looking forward to, but he can’t complain.

The evening progresses with Yuna trying to dust his shelves, clean dishes, and reorganize all his belongings. Yoongi squeaks in alarm every time she tries to rearrange anything in his house, and settles for letting her cook dinner for them. While Yuna and Yeji talk and bond over cooking, Yoongi takes the opportunity to stuff his headphones in his ears and open up his laptop. He was too busy cleaning this morning to get any work done, but he desperately needs to get some pages done before tomorrow afternoon. He’s already a week behind schedule, seeing as he’s completely started over so he can pursue the soulmate idea.

He wants it to have a happy ending. He really does. He likes when things are tied off with a bow and some sparkles. He likes when TV shows answer all the questions, and when movies don’t leave things ambiguous so they can make a sequel. Yoongi refuses to write a series of books, which is why all his are so different from each other but still live in the same romantic genre. Right now, the end of his book is going south. The protagonist is torn, and both love interests are upset with him.

Yoongi jumps as his phone chirps, surprising him. He picks it up and opens the message from Namjoon.

Namjoon

Did you see?

Yoongi

see what

Namjoon

Go on naver

I promise I didn’t seek her out

But it sorta blew up?

The whole thing is trending

Yoongi wishes Namjoon could just be transparent, but he gIves in and looks at the trending page on his laptop. He’s not sure what he’s supposed to be looking at, at first. There’s headlines like “Adultery or Cheating? You Decide” and “Model withdraws from New Drama, ‘Balanced’, in face of public backlash.” He clicks on one, and— 

Is Kim Jihyo a girlfriend who cheated, or an adulterer?

After the announcement of the model’s engagement to Jeon Jungkook last autumn, outrage has spread with her recent trip to Tokyo, Japan. Dispatch released these incriminating photographs of Kim with another man while on her business trip, leaving people questioning the state of her relationship and what it means for her career.

The most puzzling questions for Neitizens is whether an engaged woman cheating qualifies and adulterous behavior, what do you think?

The article goes on to explain the historical implications of cheating, Western influence on the South Korean perspective of engagement, and how the feminist movement has responded to the issue. Yoongi’s not sure what to make of it, or what exactly Namjoon wanted him to see.

The situation is definitely worse than it was a week ago when Jungkook found out what happened. They haven’t discussed the situation in depth, or how Jungkook feels about it. Yoongi wonders if he’s angry at Jihyo for the double standard. How she criticized his parenting and put pressure for them to be together, when she’s the one who went and did this. Mostly, Yoongi is praying that what Jungkook feared most doesn’t come true; Jihyo’s parents cutting him out of their life. Jungkook’s own parents giving them a cold shoulder. 

Yoongi

I feel so bad for them

Namjoon

I know

I can’t believe people are like this

It’s not anyone’s business

Stupid dispatch

Is

Is jungkook hurt?

Yoongi

I don’t know

I think

I think he’s okay

He held my hand

Namjoon

Aww

but why?

Yoongi

It was last week, right when he found out

I think he might be relieved

But I’m not sure

Namjoon

You said it was all pressure from his family to marry her right?

Yoongi

Yeah

Duty and obligation

Joon he’s made me think

Namjoon

no

Hyung you know what I have to say about that

You are an amazing father

Fuck society and gender roles

You love Yeji

And Meehee didn’t love her, and didn’t want her

You are more than enough for yeji

You have all the love to give and all the knowledge to share

You didn’t need to be with a woman back then to raise her, and you don’t need to be now

You understand?

Yoongi

I understand :(

Thank you joon

My mom is here 

Namjoon

Mama Min! Ah! How long is she here?

I want to come say hi

I want to ask her about that apothecary shop 

Yoongi

You and and your darned artisan soaps

Namjoon

Hey

I know you liked that soap I brought you

Yoongi

I swear it was something jin hyung would get me

It was called WRITERS BLOCK

I was literally scrubbing writers block on myself

Namjoon

I’m touched that you used it!!

But no, it washed away writers block not put it on yoU

Yoongi

Idk joon

Didn’t always feel like it

Namjoon

then you were using it wrong

Yoongi

What??? How!??!?

Namjoon

Don’t ask me!

Yoongi

Okay but |

Yoongi stops typing when he hears a knock at his door.

“Were you expecting company, dear?” His mom calls as she wipes her hands on a towel and goes to answer the door.

“No,” Yoongi frowns from his spot on the couch, craning his neck so he can see who’s there.

Yuna opens the door, and on the threshold stands a very tall looking and rather—golden, maybe glowing—Jungkook. The man blinks in surprise and bits his lip upon seeing Yuna, eyes darting around nervously until he spots Yoongi on the couch. 

“Ah, hi. Um, I was wondering if I could talk to Yoongi-yah?”

Yoongi is already standing, setting his computer aside as Yuna gives Jungkook a once over. Yeji runs over form the kitchen and waves excitedly.

“Is Chaeryong with you?”

“Ah, no,” he tells Yeji sheepishly, “She’s with Jihyo-ssi.”

“Oh,” Yoongi’s daughter pouts and Yoongi reaches out to touch her shoulder. 

“You’ll see her tomorrow at school, honey,” she nods and returns to the kitchen, placing sliced cucumber onto rice for kimbap. “Mom,” Yoongi steps closer as Yuna raises a questioning eyebrow at him, “This is Jungkook. My friend from Yeji’s school.”

“Ah! I see, Jungkook-ssi, would you like to join us for dinner?”

“Oh! Um,” Jungkook bites his lip again, looking awkward and on the spot.

Yoongi decides it’s time to intervene, “Mom, I’m gonna talk to Jungkook outside. Can you go keep an eye on Yeji, please?” 

His mom looks between them a moment, then gives Yoongi a small smile as she nods. Yoongi gestures back out the door, and Jungkook retraces his steps until they’re at the end of hallway, near the stairs that lead outside. A safe distance away from Yoongi’s apartment and his nosy mother. 

“Jungkook?”

The younger runs a hand through his messy, long hair. There’s no product in it, and his clothes are some of the most casual Yoongi’s seen on him. A flannel, jeans, and simple black boots. There’s something about him that’s different. He’s sort of vibrating with an energy Yoongi has never felt before. Jungkook takes a deep breath, clutching his phone in one hand before settling his gaze on Yoongi. The elder leans against the wall across from him, heartbeat a little loud in his ears as he tries to keep his emotions under control. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up. Doesn’t want to experience heartbreak.

“Jihyo’s parents are fucking pissed,” Jungkook says quietly. “They’re pissed at her, and at me, but Jihyo—“ suddenly Jungkook grins wide, nose scrunching and wrinkles appearing beside his eyes— “God, hyung. Jihyo loves that guy. She loves him, and wow her parents are mad. Not only did she lie to them, but then she goes and dates a Japanese guy? They’re mad, hyung.”

Yoongi isn’t sure what to say, “What are they going to do?”

“Well, they like their retirement money too much to say anything to the press. They want Jihyo to keep her career. And Jihyo and I,” he laughs, “I think it’s the first time we’ve laughed in years. We’re so relieved, honestly. Her parents are gonna let it go. They’re—they’re letting me go.”

Jungkook talks like a freed man. Someone who has just stepped out of a cave to discover the sun and blue sky are more than a myth. 

“What does that mean?” Yoongi is breathless. Pounding in his ears.

“Jihyo’s company is going to release a statement that we broke up three months ago, all the photos Dispatch has are from after then. Yoongi-hyung,” Jungkook smiles again, a little more tentive this time. “What I said before is true. I’m not gay. But the only reason I said that, is because I’ve never had the chance to find out what I am. I know I’m attracted to girls, but also...”

Yoongi is warm all over, the universe has shrunk so it’s just the size of him and Jungkook on this old patch of carpet. 

“I know I’m attracted to you. I knew it from the beginning, when I knew I shouldn’t have been noticing you as much as I did.” 

“Me too,” Yoongi admits, feeling like confessions could come spilling out of his mouth. Like he wants to kiss Jungkook. He wants them to cook dinners together and continue working together and to see each other everyday. Wants to confess that he’d really like to go on a date some time, even if it’s hard since they’re both busy fathers. Wants to spill out his fantasies of domestic life and his insatiable desire to be held and loved. He wants to tell Jungkook that he’s in love with him. And that they should finally, finally, play that fucking basketball game. 

“But I don’t know what love is,” Jungkook says. His tone changes and he seems suddenly farther away. The universe is expanding again and reality is setting in. Yoongi feels dread storm his systems and something heavy hang on his heart. “I’ve never been in love. All I know is taking care of my family, and doing what’s right for them. I don’t think I know how to be in a relationship that’s real. All I want is for Chaeryong to be cared for and happy and fulfilled.”

“I understand,” Yoongi exhales, head swimming and fingers numb. “Even though you’re not getting married anymore, you’re still a dad and we both have responsibilities to that.”

“Hyung,” Jungkook tilts his head, “You love and care for everyone, especially your daughter. I’m so lucky to have you in my life and so grateful we have become friends, but I need to tell you something.”

“It’s okay,” Yoongi rubs his neck. He knew this was coming. That even if Jungkook was no longer engaged that it didn’t guarantee anything. Jungkook has just been released from a contract he never signed, and he needs space to figure out who he is and who he wants and how to be a father in a new way. Jungkook never promised anything. Never even said that he did have feelings for Yoongi. All he’s done is be a friend and held his hand, once.

“I really, really, like you. And I really, really, want to be with you,” Jungkook says.

Yoongi waits. But that’s all the other man says. Jungkook tilts his head, as if waiting expecting Yoongi to reply.

Yoongi frowns, “But?”

“But?” Jungkook repeats. “There is no ‘but’. That’s it. I really like you, and I want to be with you. I want to date you.”

Yoongi’s eyes widen, “But—before you said—“

“I don’t know what it’s like to be in love, or be in a real relationship, yeah. But I know that I want to find out with you,” Jungkook elaborates, lips quirking up. “Would you be okay with that?”

“I—“ he can’t help but blush, all the feelings he’d been attempting to drain rushing back up— “I would.” 

“Can I kiss you now? For real?” Jungkook whispers, stepping closer and making Yoongi feel things he hasn’t felt in years. Or maybe ever. 

“Yes,” he agrees, staring up at the younger, anxiously awaiting the soft press of lips. 

Jungkook kisses him on the cheek, then the nose, and his forehead and his hair and finally—his lips. Yoongi laughs almost immediately, because of course Jungkook is like this. Silly and sweet and romantic and better than any romance novel Yoongi’s ever written. They kiss chastely back and forth like they’re both afraid of doing too much too soon, or maybe like they don’t trust themselves to keep it tame if they kiss any deeper.

Yoongi wants to though. Wants Jungkook to back him into the wall and ravage him. Eat him alive and make him feel so good. Wants them to sleep in bed together and wake up bare-chested on Sunday mornings together, because goddamnit maybe Yoongi wants to settle down with someone and start building a life with a bigger family. That’s something he’s never admitted to himself before, but he knows it’s true now.

“Yoongi-hyung,” Jungkook smiles, bunny teeth showing.

“I like when you call me Yoongi-yah,” the elder whispers.

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“Jimin always gets mad when I call him Jimin-ssi.”

“Well I’m not Jimin, and I’m not just your friend anymore, am I?”

Jungkook straightens up, hands holding onto Yoongi’s elbows, “You want to be more?”

“Of course I do. I already said that. Jungkook, did you hear me when I said that I’m in love with you?”

It’s the younger’s turn to look flustered, “I did, but—“

“No,” Yoongi pokes Jungkook’s chest. “Like you said. There are no buts. We can just, you know, be us. Let’s just be us and be together and be happy. And always tell each other if we’re secretly engaged to someone else.”

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook apologizes.

Yoongi laughs, “I’m teasing. I don’t blame you for being the person you had to be and staying loyal to Chaeryong. How can I be mad at someone for being so selfless and putting their daughter first?”

“You say such nice things to me, Yoongi-yah.”

“You deserve nice things, Jungkook-ah,” he assures him quietly and lifts himself up on his toes to kiss Jungkook again. Softly and this time so much better then when they were half drunk on the couch of his apartment.

“Speaking of nice things,” Jungkook laughs, sounding nervous, “I won’t have as much anymore.”

“What do you mean?” 

“The apartment, the car, the suits. Those were all Jihyo’s,” Jungkook lists, “She was trying to get me to fit the part of a fiancé, engaged to one of the most in-demand models. She wanted us to match to fool her parents—and I think to fool herself, too.”

“Are you mad at her?” Yoongi can’t stop himself from asking. “For blowing your lives up?”

“No,” Jungkook tells him easily, “It’s going to be hard at family dinners and holidays for awhile, but I will gladly trade some awkward meals for a lifetime of happiness with someone I really want to be with.” 

“And who would that be?” Yoongi jokes.

“You,” Jungkook says, sounding more serious than Yoongi was prepared for. “I want a lifetime with you so I can make up for all the times I avoided telling you the truth. And for how rude I was after you kissed me. And because I pretended to be someone I wasn’t.”

“Jungkook,” Yoongi could cry with how much he loves him. “Let’s go somewhere.”

The taller shakes his head, “You need to get back to your mom, to Yeji.”

“No, I don’t. They’re gonna be just fine without me. They act like I’m not there sometimes anyway. I’m going to go say bye, and then we should go somewhere,” Yoongi squeezes Jungkook’s wrist before he lets go, backing away towards his apartment. “Stay there. I’ll be right back.”

Jungkook nods silently, and Yoongi’s heart soars.

~

They eat lamb skewers. The sauce drips onto their fingers as they eat the lamb off the wooden sticks, hungry and happy and sipping sodas. They talk about work, about ideas, about the bus line that’s down. Jungkook says he’s going to invest in a bus pass for him and Chaeryong, since they won’t have a car anymore. Yoongi asks what their living situation is gonna be, and Jungkook just smiles with a sly twinkle in his eyes.

They share a bowl of soba, the noodles slippery and thick and delicious, and they laugh over Jungkook’s obsession with Iron Man and Yoongi’s love for Black Panther. They debate over who would win in a fight, and Jungkook says they should arm wrestle for it. Yoongi makes a face, but Jungkook bites his tongue between his teeth and smirks, and Yoongi melts. So they move their empty dishes aside, elbows digging into the wooden table, and grip each other’s hand tightly. Yoongi’s says go, and loses almost instantly, his hand slammed into the table. The air rushes from his lungs in shock. 

“I forgot you go to the gym,” Yoongi thinks his face must be red when he takes his hand back.

“Sure do.”

“Do you wanna go somewhere else?” Yoongi looks at the table and then back up, stomach fluttering. 

“Don’t you need to get home?”

“No, my mom said to take the night off,” Yoongi tells him, ignoring the very pressing matter of writing his book. Right now, Jungkook is more important.

“I hope I can maybe, um,” Jungkook picks at the table, “Meet her properly one day. I wasn’t expecting her there today. I’m sorry if I interrupted your family time, I should have called.”

“We never call.”

“Texted,” Jungkook corrects. “You know what I mean.” 

“I do, and you don’t need to. I’m so happy you came to see me, Jungkook. I’m so excited to see what happens for us.”

“Me too,” Jungkook smiles. His face changes as he remembers something, “Oh! And Jihyo said she gives us her blessing. She sort of, I don’t know, suspected I had a thing for you, I guess.”

Yoongi grins, “I’m glad you have a thing for me. And I’m glad she approves.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook says quietly, then clears his throat. “Anyway, can I show you something?” 

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, we have to take the bus.”

“Alright,” Yoongi’s cheeks hurt from smiling so much today.

They battle over paying for the bill, Yoongi ultimately winning out. Jungkook buys their bus tickets though, and soon they’re traveling south. It’s dark out by now, public transport crowded as stragglers make their way home from work. Yoongi and Jungkook are left standing in the aisle, holding onto the plastic loops above their heads. Yoongi’s footing is awkward and when the bus lurches, he accidentally falls into the taller. Jungkook smirks and holds him around the waist, Yoongi’s heart swelling with affection and appreciation. When they hop off the bus into the cold night, Jungkook moves his hand from Yoongi’s hip to his fingers, intertwining them.

The neighborhood they’ve been left off in wasn’t too far, maybe a twenty minutes by bus. There’s more trees here, but the area is an older one, with broken sidewalks and messy streets. The apartment complexes are straight out of the 70s, cramped and beige and almost definitely a hot box when summertime rolls around. Jungkook tugs Yoongi along, telling him about the apartment he grew up in in Busan. About his brother getting the bigger room and better view, and how much trouble he got into. Jungkook tells Yoongi about never wanting to live in a place like Jihyo’s. He wants to be somewhere comfortable, cozy.

“Like your house,” Jungkook smiles.

“My mom might have completely remodeled it by the time I get home. She was eyeing my mismatched furniture and the tchotchkes I have lying around.”

“I like your tchotchkes,” Jungkook laughs, “Especially those little gnomes. The one on top of the TV with the really tall red hat is so cute.” 

“Gnomes aren’t cute,” Yoongi snorts.

“Yes they are!” Jungkook insists. “And so are you.”

“Hey,” Yoongi pouts, “No more compliments.”

“But Yoongi-yah,” Jungkook pouts in return, “I have to. I’m practically bursting with everything I want to say about your house, about your food, about you, about your books, about—“

“Have you seriously read more of my books?” Yoongi demands to know, yanking on Jungkook’s hand when the younger doesn’t immediately answer. Jungkook mumbles something inaudible. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I said I’ve read them all.” 

“What?” Yoongi squeaks, embarrassed. “All of them?”

“I ordered them all off Amazon,” Jungkook admits, looking a little guilty. Like a guy who binged all of Naruto in one night. “Did you know they have an Amazon collection of all your books? It’s like the ‘Sweet Suga Romance Pack’ or something. I love all your books, Yoongi.”

“Oh my god,” Yoongi groans, heart warm, “This is terrible.”

“They’re so good! I love romance novels, and I love romcoms, and I probably love you, honestly,” Jungkook rambles. He seems to realize what he said and stops in place. Yoongi blinks at him. 

“You think?”

“I mean,” Jungkook sighs and thumbs over Yoongi’s knuckles, “Probably. Or I will. Very, very soon.”

Yoongi stares at their hands. Both of them big man hands, Yoongi’s pale and Jungkook’s more tan.

“Where are we going?” Yoongi asks. As much as he likes wondering around in the middle of the night, he’d like to maybe sit down. Maybe kiss Jungkook again.

“Oh! We’re here,” Jungkook spins around and points up at the building behind them. “Fourth floor, those first two windows on the left. That’s gonna be me.”

“You?” Yoongi echoes.

“Yeah. I’ll show you.”

With that, Jungkook let’s go of Yoongi's hand and gestures for the elder to follow him through the grass over to the entrance of the building. Jungkook pulls out a small ring that has two keys attached and uses one to open the heavy door. With it held open for him, Yoongi passes through into the dimly lit corridor. The inside looks nicer than the outside. There’s fresh paint on the walls and the floor is wooden. Jungkook leads them to a stairwell where their footsteps reverberate up and down. They get to the fourth level, and Jungkook leans over the railing and shouts:

“I’m yours, Min Yoongi!”

Yoongi pinches him in alarm, not expecting him to be so fucking loud. But his words, his confession, echo back and forth and Yoongi hears Jungkook say, “I’m yours, Min Yoongi!” a dozen times before it fades out. Yoongi kisses him right there. He has too. And he can’t help that he’s crying a little as Jungkook envelopes him in a hug. They stand there for a long time. So long Yoongi almost forgets that they’re twenty-something adults with kids and jobs and responsibilities. It’s almost like they’re just two best friends who have, unavoidably, fallen for each other. 

Eventually, someone nearly hits Jungkook by opening the door into the stairwell. The woman looks at them in surprise and discontent, before hurrying down the steps. Jungkook takes Yoongi by the wrist and then through the door, onto the fourth floor. He walks to the far end of the hallway, and uses the same small set of keys to open the door. At first Yoongi is confused. The apartment is empty, save for an empty bookshelf, some paper bags on the kitchen counter, and then he sees a bed through one of the open doors. And—

He breath hitches as he nears the room, pushing inside slowly. There’s candles. And incense. And deep red sheets and big pillows. The room looks like it was taken straight out of a catalogue, and even more so as Jungkook goes around and lights the candles with matches. The younger seems sheepish when he finishes, standing by the head of the bed and gazing over at Yoongi. 

“What’s all this?”

Jungkook shrugs, “Nothing really. I just—I just wanted something to be nice in the house to show you.”

“But, what is this place?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Jungkook smiles, gesturing to the bedside table where Yoongi spots an all too familiar set of books stacked. “It’s where I’m going to live now. This is mine.” 

“How the hell did you have time to find this? Didn’t you just find out today that—“ 

“It didn’t matter, Yoongi. As soon I learned what Jihyo had done,” he smiles, it’s tinted with sadness, “I realized that even if she denied it all, and still kept the engagement, I would never be happy with her. And if I’m not happy, how can I make Chaeryong happy? How can any of us be happy if we’re not true to ourselves? Even if—even if I didn’t have you,” Jungkook’s voice quiets, “I think we still would have ended up like this.”

“I can’t believe you got an apartment,” Yoongi laughs, “And the first thing you put in it are my fucking books.” 

“I love your books, hyung.” 

“I know,” Yoongi walks around the bed, “I just can’t believe it. Is this really happening?”

“I really hope so,” Jungkook says, and kisses Yoongi gently, “I really like you.” 

Jungkook kisses him again, and again, and they both sink down to sit on the bed. They curl their fingers each other’s hair, and Yoongi swings a leg over Jungkook’s hip to draw the younger closer. He feels too awkward to ask for more, but he wants more. When Jungkook bites Yoongi’s bottom lip and licks inside his mouth, he thinks the other must have gotten the message—or just wants it as much as Yoongi does.

The apartment is warm, or maybe it’s just them, but either way Jungkook strips off his top sweater and Yoongi follows suit. They kiss more, kiss slow, and Yoongi feels like he’s breaking apart and being put back together again over and over. 

“Yoongi, can I tell you something?” Jungkook says as slowly raises Yoongi’s t-shirt over his stomach, up his chest, and then carefully over his head.

“Yeah,” he puffs, hot and cold at the same time.

“You’re the first boy I’ve ever kissed,” Jungkook tilts his head and nibbles the lobe of Yoongi’s ear, “And now I never want to stop.”

“Oh,” heat spreads through Yoongi’s entire body, and when Jungkook’s hands find Yoongi’s hips, he can’t help but groan. “Oh. Jungkook-ah.”

“Hmm?” The taller hums as sucks on Yoongi’s collarbone, arms and knees planted on the bed around Yoongi, caging him in. As if he’s Jungkook’s to touch and kiss and have. Yoongi shivers as he rubs his big palms over Yoongi’s bare sides, his ribs ticklish, and then Jungkook is just staring hot and heavy down at him.

They aren’t kissing when Jungkook fumbles with one of Yoongi’s nipples. He pinches it and rolls it between the pads of his fingers, simply watching as Yoongi squirms and pants at the sensation. The ministrations continue and the elder has to shut his eyes, overwhelmed by the eye contact and the way Jungkook is feeling him up. Yoongi likes it, loves it actually, don’t get him wrong. But he hasn’t been with someone in so long—and almost certainly never this intimately ever before. It’s crazy the difference between a one-night-stand and touches from a man he’s in love with. Like Jungkook could do anything and Yoongi would be left gasping, wanting more.

He’s hard in his pants, but he’s enjoying the kisses Jungkook is planting on his stomach more than he thought possible. As his brain tunes back in, he notices the younger mumbling sweet nothings into Yoongi’s skin in between each press of lips.

“You're so pretty, Yoongi. I love your stomach, it’s so soft. So soft and cute. I like your hair,” he strokes over the small trail of hair leading to Yoongi’s jeans, “It’s cute. I like this,” he kisses right above Yoongi’s belly button. “And this,” his sternum.

Yoongi makes little sounds as Jungkook kisses his ribs and his neck and his face. He runs his own hands through Jungkook’s hair, strokes his face, twists his fingers into Jungkook’s shirt, and yanks on the flannel to bring them closer together.

“What are you doing?”

The younger smiles at him, eyelids heavy, “Showing you how much you mean to me. How much I like you.”

“Ah,” Yoongi covers his face with a hand, embarrassment sweeping over him. He’s never been kissed like this. Isn’t sure what to say, or how to react. 

“Do you like it?” Jungkook asks, moving Yoongi’s hand away from his face and holding onto him by the wrist, pressing his lips to Yoongi’s blue veins and up to his fingertips. Yoongi can’t breathe, just nods and watches and sighs in content when Jungkook presses the hand into the mattress, kissing him briefly on the mouth. 

His hands flit to Yoongi’s pants and hover at the edge, “Can I?”

“Take your shirt off first?” Yoongi pleads, feeling much too exposed with Jungkook fully clothed. 

“Yeah,” Jungkook agrees. He takes the flannel off sleeve by sleeve, and then his t-shirt comes next. Yoongi stares blatantly at his defined chest and smooth skin, reaching up to touch him.

Scanning the other man’s body, Yoongi notices the bulge in Jungkook’s jeans. Yoongi’s not sure what he was getting off to when Yoongi was the one getting kissed up and down—eaten up in the sweetest way imaginable. From there, their eyes meet. Jungkook moves off Yoongi to pull his own pants off, Yoongi doing the same and then straddling Jungkook’s lap. He presses their clothes lengths together, aching with desire.

“Do you want—how do you want—“ Jungkook tries to ask him, not knowing how to put the words together.

“What do you want?” Yoongi rests his cheek against Jungkook’s chest, in the nook between his neck and shoulder. He can heat the taller’s heart racing, either pumping with adrenaline-powered lust, or a tangle of anxiety. Or both, honestly.

“I, um,” Yoongi leans back, arms wrapped around Jungkook’s neck, watching his face as he answers. “Is it too soon for...”

Yoongi shakes his head, “It’s not too soon for anything. I kind of feel like—“ he can’t help but to nervously rub the back of his neck— “I’m ready for anything. I trust you.” 

“I’m so lucky,” Jungkook huffs out a laugh, “God, Yoongi. I can’t believe you waited for me. I’m sorry for all my stupid baggage and everything. I should have been braver. Like you.” 

“I’m not brave,” Yoongi argues.

“Yes you are,” Jungkook says, as if he’s decided and there’s no point in arguing.

“Jungkook-ah...”

“Hmm?”

“As much as I like talking to you, I think we’ve talked enough.”

“Oh?” Jungkook cocks an eyebrow and grabs Yoongi tight around the waist with one arm. Yoongi sucks in a breath a grinds against him from where he’s still sat on his lap. “Can I just say one thing?”

Jungkook is teasing him, smirking as he tilts Yoongi over and gently let’s him fall, back to the bed. His legs unfold around the younger, Jungkook’s hands begin rubbing circles into Yoongi’s thighs and he’s staring at the elder with a dangerous fire. 

“What?” Yoongi whispers.

Jungkook moves so he’s over Yoongi, lips brushing against the shell of Yoongi’s ear hotly, “I want to fuck you.”

Yoongi’s eyes flutter shut as he groans, “Please.”

“You know I don’t really—um—“ Yoongi hears fumbling, the bed moving, the sound of plastic. He opens his eyes to see Jungkook with a brand new bottle of lube and a condom on the sheets beside them. 

Silently, Yoongi takes the lube and snaps it open. He drizzles it on his fingers and reaches his hand down between his legs, before pausing and blushing, “Shit. Take my underwear off.” 

Jungkook laughs, “With pleasure.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes as Jungkook does so, and then the room heats up again. His skin is on fire, and he can feel Jungkook watching his every move as he rubs Yoongi’s legs up and down in a soothing pattern. With warm lube coating his fingers, completely naked on Jungkook’s brand new bed, Yoongi starts to open himself up. It’s been a long time since he’s touched himself here, in fact—

“Jungkook-ah, I need to tell you something,” Yoongi’s mouth is parted as he scissors his fingers slowly, the burn growing tamer with each movement. Jungkook is on him again, kissing Yoongi’s jaw.

“What?”

“I’ve never—I’ve never been all the way with—with—“ he swears as he presses his digits deeper, ready for another as he pulls them out and searches for more lube. 

“With a guy? You’ve never done this before either?” Jungkook clarifies, sounding surprised, but maybe a bit relieved too.

“No. I mean—I told myself I was straight until after I learned I was gonna be a dad. And then I sort of—panicked and figured out with a few different guys, but like I’ve never—“

“It’s okay,” Jungkook suddenly meets Yoongi’s eyes, warm and brown.  “We can figure it out together.” 

Yoongi brings their mouths together, and Jungkook takes the lube and carefully slides his hands down to tease Yoongi’s rim before exploring his walls, stretching them with another finger and asking Yoongi over and over again for confirmation, if it feels good. The younger’s dick is pressing against Yoongi’s hip bone as they continue to kiss, as they become one. Slipping his hands beneath his waistband, Yoongi starts to slide the other’s underwear off. Jungkook bites his shoulder playfully, and carefully retracts his fingers from inside Yoongi to finally rid himself of his clothes entirely. 

“Do you feel ready, baby?” Jungkook asks, opening a condom packet as Yoongi tries to pretend he’s not checking him out. 

“Yeah. Do you?”

“I’m so ready,” Jungkook confesses, sounding as eager as Yoongi feels. They grin at each other, laughing a little as Yoongi wraps his legs around Jungkook’s waist and pulls him in closer, the younger holding onto the base of his cock and Yoongi’s hip to guide himself inside. They both gasp as he breaches Yoongi, moving slowly and letting Yoongi maneuver himself into a more comfortable position. It goes slow, Yoongi’s ass burning. Jungkook adds more lube as they lean together, breathe together, try and learn this new dynamic simultaneously. Jungkook plants his elbows around Yoongi’s head and the elder grips onto his back as the drag of a cock in him sends tingles up his spine. He’s not sure what he expected, but so far, he just wants— 

“More, more Jungkook-ah.”

“You want me to move? Are you sure? This is—shit, Yoongi.

“What?”

“You’re so fucking hot, and you’re so—“ Jungkook presses in deeper, so his balls are to Yoongi’s ass— “Tight.”

Yoongi’s toes curl and he digs nails a little deeper into the skin of the other man’s back. Jungkook rocks back and forth, nothing sudden or forceful. Yoongi moves with him, allowing his body to grow comfortable with the new sensations in his back, his spine, his stomach. Jungkook kisses Yoongi wet, with tongue, and Yoongi ruts down onto his hard cock with a mumbled, “Faster.”

It takes a moment, a few more tentative thrusts, length pulling further and further out, until Jungkook begins moving at a pace that qualifies as fucking. The breath is knocked out of him when Jungkook raises himself up, resting on his haunches and dragging Yoongi closer, so his ass is resting atop Jungkook’s thick thighs as he moves with more power, slow and steady and—hard. It’s feels good, and Yoongi scrambles for something to hold onto when Jungkook hits the magic bundle of nerves Yoongi’s never been able to find with his own fingers. The sheets crumple under his hands and Jungkook grins with bedroom eyes down at him.

Jungkook is breathing heavy, taking a moment to rest as he intertwines their fingers and uses them to keep Yoongi’s hands down, and then he’s huffing air against Yoongi’s neck as he fucks back in, a little rougher. 

Yoongi’s own cock is throbbing, relieved only slightly as it rubs against Jungkook’s stomach. The younger seems to realize this as he rolls his hips hard and deliberate, deep, and takes Yoongi’s cock in one hand. He holds its loose at first, simply exploring the head and length with his palm and fingers. When he slides a thumb over Yoongi’s slit repeatedly, the elder arches up into the touch and moans. 

“Fuck, do that again.” 

Jungkook does. His hand still slightly wet from lube, he circles the head of Yoongi’s cock as he thrusts into him steadily, but increasing in speed. Yoongi’s vision is blurry, and all he hears is, “Baby, you’re so pretty. I love you like this.“

Jungkook pushes his hips so they sear against Yoongi’s skin, his cock brushing against Yoongi’s prostate.

“Right there, fuck, I’m fucking close, don’t stop,” Yoongi whines. He even whimpers when Jungkook hits the same spot faster, better, fingers teasing the leaking head of Yoongi’s  cock and pumping it in a wet, warm grip. Yoongi comes over his fingers with a cry. He pushes down on Jungkook’s cock as the orgasm rushes over him, and Jungkook takes it as the signal to finish too. He fucks Yoongi with abandon, on the edge, the elder sensitive and raw beneath him.

He wants to help Jungkook, and tightens his legs around him to draw their bodies even closer together. Jungkook bucks into him hard, lips and teeth in Yoongi’s shoulder. Yoongi feels up his sides, his chest, his nipples. He pulls one of Jungkook’s hands into his own and up to his mouth. He’s not sure what compels him to do this—but he sucks Jungkook’s fingers into his mouth and that’s when Jungkook falls over the edge, spilling into the condom deep inside Yoongi.

He kisses down Yoongi’s body as he draws back. He sits back and Yoongi stares up at him, in awe.

“Can we sleep?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook exhales, sounding blissfully tired.

They clean up a little bit, then pull back the blankets and crawl under them. They curl into each other, Jungkook interlocking their hands again and kissing Yoongi’s face all over.

“I love you, Jungkook,” Yoongi tells him, sleepy and relaxed and safe.

“Baby,” Jungkook smiles back.

~

Gangnam Elite Model Agency

Three months ago, Kim Jihyo parted ways with her fiancé Jeon Jungkook. In an effort to keep our talent’s personal life private, this information was not made public.

In light of recent photographs obtained by Dispatch, we feel the need to make Kim Jihyo’s situation transparent. She and Jeon split ways with good feelings, and no longer are engaged to be married. All photographs of Kim in Japan were taken after the fact; she has had no wrong doing.

We take full responsibility for the misinformation and conflict regarding our talent, and regret not informing the press previously about the break up. In future, we will be sure to preserve the integrity of our talent with more care.

Kim Jihyo’s relationship with the man “M” (full name has been omitted to protect his identity) is personal, and we ask that it is respected by fans, consumers, and press alike.

Thank you,

GEMA PR OFFICE

Kim Joowon (GEMA CEO)

~

“Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!” Yoongi calls out as Yeji grips the basketball in her hands, looking frazzled as Chaeryong waves her arms in front of her. Still, she throws the ball over her friend and it bounces off the backboard, flying back to the ground and up into Jungkook’s waiting arms. 

The rules have been adjusted slightly. There’s no traveling or fouling penalties. And they’re at a kids park where the basketball hoops are barely four feet off the ground. It makes it easier for Yeji and Chaeryong to actually compete, and forces Yoongi and Jungkook to slow down and be careful not plow anybody over. 

Jungkook grins and starts jogging with the ball, bouncing it easily as he makes everyone chase after him to the other side of the court. He passes to Chaeryong who catches the ball, awkwardly dribbling as Yeji runs around her, attempting to smack the ball away. Yoongi takes his place between Jungkook and the net, keeping a hand out to gently push the taller away every time he floats to close. Chaeryong picks the ball up, stuck as Yeji looms over her with stretched arms. Jungkook suddenly darts away, clapping his hands and signaling for his daughter to throw to him. She does, and the ball goes wide. Jungkook chases it and grabs it, Yoongi hot on his tail and standing close, so they’re practically chest to chest as Jungkook breathes heavily. 

“What now, Jungkook?” Yoongi keeps him trapped, “No where to run, no one to pass to. The Min’s have outsmarted you.”

“Oh yeah?” Jungkook quirks a brow, suddenly bending his legs and holding the ball as if he’s about to— 

Yoongi jumps to block the ball, but Jungkook doesn’t actually throw it, instead waiting a beat before he actually jumps and shoots the ball, sinking a basket. Yoongi’s feet touch the ground and he spins around, astonished and betrayed.

“Cheater! You faked me out!” 

“I thought you knew how to play basketball hyung, where’s your competitive spirit?”

“I have plenty of spirit!” Yoongi glares at him, watching as Yeji retrieves the ball from where it bounced into the grass. “You wanna go, Jungkook? I was being easy on you.”

“Sure,” Jungkook snorts.

Yoongi rolls his eyes, and waiting for Yeji to throw to him from the sidelines. He scrambles around Jungkook and Chaeryong, managing to cut in front and take the ball as Yeji hands it off to him. He takes off, sprinting down the court as fast as his feet can carry him.

“Hey!” Jungkook calls out in alarm, outpaced and unprepared. 

Yoongi ignores him, going in for a slam dunk into the four foot basket.

“Show off!” Jungkook shouts. 

“Show off!” Chaeryong repeats her father’s words, but her face says she’s impressed.

“Way to go, Appa!” Yeji cries, running and jumping up into his arms. He grunts at her unexpected weight and laughs, giving her a high five.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” he says.

“I’m tired,” Chaeryong collapses onto the blacktop, looking exhausted. 

“How about you?” Yoongi asks Yeji. She nods in agreement.

Yoongi looks over at Jungkook and mouths, “Ice cream?”

Jungkook nods.

Chaeryong is watching exchange, and squeals, “Ice cream!?” 

“Ice cream!” Yeji yells, almost right in Yoongi‘a ear. 

“Shhh,” Yoongi tells her and sets her back down.

“Papa, are we getting ice cream?” Chaeryong yanks on Jungkook. 

“Are we?” Yeji bounces on her toes.

“Yes, yes,” Yoongi announces and they both make bubbly sounds of joy. 

Since moving into his own place a month ago, Jungkook has also invested in his own car. It’s nothing like what Jihyo has, but it’s clean and it works and lets Jungkook chaperone them all to the nearest ice cream place much quicker than public transport. Yoongi likes watching the younger drive. He’s always focused on the road, except for when his gaze flits to the rear view mirror to check on their kids in the backseat, reading a manga together. Yoongi wonders if Jungkook can feel his eyes on him, and he probably can. They haven’t told their daughters, really, about how their relationship has changed. Yoongi’s not even sure how to start the conversation with Jungkook about how to tell them. He knows he wants to though, so that’s why he reaches over and intertwines his fingers with Jungkook’s momentarily, squeezing them tight.

Jungkook lets him go so he can park the car, and Yoongi’s heart tightens.

Ever since Yeji was born, he’s had to prove to other people that he can raise his own daughter. They doubt him because of his job, because he did nothing with his college education, and because Yeji’s mom isn’t here. People always seem so shocked to hear that a mother left her daughter—acting as if it should have been the other way around. As if it would have been better, more socially acceptable, if Yoongi had left Yeji instead. It makes him burn up, but also strive to prove them wrong. At the end of the day though, he has to stay true to himself.

That means not living in a fancy apartment, wearing flashy clothes, or treating Yeji as though she has a silver spoon in her mouth. It means if anybody asks about him getting a girlfriend, getting married, he tells them point blank that he’s gay, and a marrying woman isn’t really in the cards. That always seems to shock them more. There had even been a few daycares that wouldn’t accept them as clients when Yeji was just a toddler.

Jungkook is at a different place in his life. Or rather—he’s still trapped in the whirlwind of demands from his family as his engagement unravels and his relationship with Jihyo evolves. He and Jihyo seem to have done a complete 180. Now that they’re not being forced into marriage and are living separately, they’re truly coparenting. Jihyo doesn’t make snide comments or try and control how Jungkook lives his life—in fact, it seems like they’ve become friends supporting one another. Yoongi thinks this is probably what their relationship was like before Jihyo got pregnant, before their parents turned their friendship into something it could never be.

The result is Yoongi aching to be public and proud with Jungkook, while he is still treading carefully trying not to stir the pot anymore. Jihyo’s parents may not blame Jungkook for the break up, but they’re still looking for a reason to pin it on him and not their daughter. Jungkook says his own parents are essentially on the same page; are angry with Jihyo for being unfaithful. And Jungkook doesn’t necessarily want them to think it’s his fault nothing ever worked. 

Yoongi understands, but it doesn’t mean it’s not hard. But—he’s probably getting ahead of himself. Their relationship has just hardly begun, they’re not even boyfriends, they’re just seeing each other. It’s too early to be anything definite, especially when they have their kids to consider.

“What flavor are you gonna get?” Jungkook takes Chaeryong’s hand and helps her cross the street.

“Vanilla! With sprinkles!” 

“Appa, can I get sprinkles?” Yeji asks. 

“Of course, sweetie. Today is a special day,” Yoongi smiles.

“Why is it special?”

Because it’s the first time they’ve all hung out together since the infamous sleepover. “Because me and Jungkook-ah have been wanting to play basketball with you guys.”

“It’s fun! I want to be on Jungkook-ssi’s team, though.”

“What? Why?” Yoongi demands with mock offense. 

“He’s taller!”

“But I got a slam dunk! Where’s Jungkook’s slam dunk?”

“Hey!” The other man cuts in with a grin, “I could get a slam dunk if I really wanted to.”

“Like heck you could,” Yoongi chides, “I was playing circles around you and you know it.”

Jungkook shrugs, “Not from where I was sitting. Pretty sure Chaeryong and I had that thing in the bag, right?” 

“Right!” Cherry chirps as they come to a stop in front of the shop.

“Hey now, it’s not about winning,” Yoongi reminds them all.

“I bet he’s just saying that because he lost,” Jungkook tells his daughter as if the other two aren’t there. Chaeryong laughs and shakes her head.

“They were better than us, Papa.”

“What?!” 

“They won extra sprinkles on my their ice cream,” Chaeryong says seriously, “Fair is fair.” 

“When did you grow up so much?” Jungkook looks fondly down at the young girl.

“Yeji,” she says, pointing at her friend. 

Yoongi’s heart swells with pride. He remembers at the beginning of the year when Yeji could hardly bear the thought of sharing her colored pencils, and now Chaeryong is saying she learned fairness from Yeji. It’s maybe the first tangible evidence from someone outside his blood family that yes, Yoongi is doing a good job. He’s raising his daughter to the very best of his abilities. 

“C’mon,” Yoongi trails his fingers through Yeji’s, kinda gross and sweaty, hair with a smile. “Sprinkles for everyone, I think.” 

They order cones, Yoongi getting his in a little bowl. Jungkook teases him when Yoongi explains it’s because the cold hurts his teeth. The other opens his mouth wide and bites down on the top of the ice cream, making Yoongi cringe and squirm in horror, coughing as the sight sends intense rejection thrumming through him. When the girls aren’t looking, he flips Jungkook off and the man merely licks his lip in content. Yoongi glares at him half-heartedly, stabbing his melting fudge ice cream with a plastic spoon.

“Do you have kooties for each other?” Yeji pipes up, her eyes and Chaeryong’s wide and curious. 

“Pardon?” Jungkook blinks. 

“Kooties. Like. Kissy kooties,” Chaeryong clarifies, looking mischievous—just like her dad. 

“Um,” Yoongi looks at Jungkook, not sure how serious the kids are with the question. But frankly, they’re smart. They’re really smart. And if anyone could pick UO on something, it would be them. Yoongi suspects that Yeji got a gossip gene from Namjoon, and Chaeryong is shockingly perceptive of other people’s emotions. 

“Maybe a little bit,” Jungkook mumbles, looking soft with hair mussed from exercise and the hoody he pulled on afterwards.

Yeji squeals, grabbing Chaeryong’s arm and shaking it.

“We’re gonna be sisters!”

“Woah, there,” Yoongi interjects, “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Kooties don’t equal—“ he blushes— “marriage.” “But maybe one day,” Chaeryong encourages, tugging on Jungkook’s clothes.

“Maybe, don’t get excited though. Sometimes kooties are just little,” Yoongi tries to save the situation, tame their wild imaginations.

“Yours are really big though, Appa,” Yeji says unhelpfully.

“Papa’s are too! He smiles so much with Yoongi-oppa!” 

“I think they’re perfect together.”

“They even look like each other,” Chaeryong exclaims, and she’s not wrong. Their wardrobes are eerily similar after Jungkook fully transitioned into wearing the clothes he prefers over Jihyo’s choices. 

Yoongi’s insides flutter.

Jungkook meets his gaze and he smiles, eyes full with something like a promise.

It’s not until later, at Yoongi’s house, that he learns with what.

“I don’t think I needed blessing from my parents,” Jungkook whispers as they sit beside each other on the bed. Yoongi is upright with his laptop on his knees, Jungkook is folding his clothes into tidy squares as the elder works. “I needed a blessing from Chaeryong. I’m scared to be with someone who isn’t Jihyo, because I don’t know how it will make Chaeryong feel. But I think, I feel better now.”

“Better?” Yoongi tilts his head, staring at the side of his—partner’s?—face.

“Like,” Jungkook sighs, shifting so he’s cross legged, his back to the bedroom door. “Like I’m not so scared of being honest with her now. I think sometimes I still try and be what my family wants me to be, and I forget that I’m free from that... Yoongi, there’s something I should have told you before.”

Yoongi’s heart hammers as Jungkook takes his hand and strokes it reassuringly, only increasing the elder’s worries. What could he have to tell him? What’s wrong?

“I love you.”

“Oh,” Yoongi says dumbly, stunned. “I knew that.” 

“I know. I know,” Jungkook bites his lip, “But I never said it to your face. Not like that. Saying it feels like—like a weight has been lifted,” he chuckles to himself, “I love you, Yoongi-yah.”

Yoongi scrunches up his face in embarrassment, but Jungkook just covers his cheeks, nose, and eyes with kisses.

“I want to show you something,” Yoongi pushes him away slightly and leans over the side of the bed, rummaging around for something on the bottom shelf of his nightstand. “Here.”

He shoves the book in Jungkook’s direction, immediately feeling his own face heat up as tries to stay silent.

“Oh my god,” Jungkook looks down at the hard cover book in his hands, smoothing his fingers over it with amazement. “Oh my god, Yoongi. Yoongi. It has—it has your name on it!” He flips the book over and lifts it up, showing it to Yoongi.

Like Confetti, We Fall

by Min Yoongi

“It’s beautiful, baby,” Jungkook mumbles fondly, making Yoongi’s insides turn to mush. “It’s such a classy cover. Oh my god. Oh my god.” 

“Open it,” Yoongi rubs his neck, “I wanted you to see this before anyone else. It’s just a demo copy. The publishers are gonna send it out to different newspapers and authors to write reviews and get some media out for it. They might change up the final cover design or have me make some little changes, but I mean—that’s basically the finished version.”

“Ah, hyung, baby, Yoongi,” Jungkook flips the first page, admiring the title page with glistening eyes. Practically brimming with emotions.

“I hope you don’t think it’s too cheesy, but it’s way more PG-13 than my other books. They’re advertising it as YA. It’s not exactly something Yeji can read, but one day she could,” Yoongi rambles, getting anxious. Jungkook’s thumb toying with the edge of the page, not yet turning it.

“That’s amazing. Do you want to write more books for younger ages?” He looks back at Yoongi, who meets the intense pulse of the younger’s stare. 

“Yeah. I want her to be able to appreciate what I do.”

“Ah, such a sweetheart, Yoongi,” Jungkook smiles and looks back at the book, turning the thin page. 

It’s takes a moment, and then longer, and then even longer. Yoongi begins to wonder of Jungkook spontaneously feel asleep when he’s sees the man’s back shaking.

“Jungkook?” Yoongi leans forward, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“What the fuck, Yoongi? What the fuck is this?” He suddenly demands, tears streaming down his cheeks, but a wet grin spread across his features. He sniffles, “Fuck. Fuck. Give a man some warning next time you decide to go and blow up his heart.”

“Blow it up?” Yoongi repeats in concern.

“Yeah, hyung. It blew up because I love you so much I don’t know what to do with it. Seriously,” Jungkook moves the book and points at the page he’s burst into tears at, “What the fuck? I just—this is permanent, Yoongi. Are you sure you want this in here? It’s—what if—Yoongi,” Jungkook is out of breath.

“Jungkook-ah,” Yoongi takes the book from him and shuts it, moving it aside and pulling Jungkook around. He entangles their fingers and pulls on them, making the other meet his eyes. “I love you. You will always be important to me. I want it in the book. Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook wipes his face in the nook of his arm, sobering up. “Yeah.”

Yoongi lets out a sigh of relief as Jungkook cups his face and kisses him.

~

Dedications

I don’t believe in soulmates. Then I met you. I wrote this book as I fell in love. And I realized—maybe I do. Jungkook, this is for you.

Min Yoongi 

(my twt)