Archive of Our Own ^beta

When Castiel thinks of Dean, the word that comes to mind is “beautiful”. But he’s not thinking of Dean’s physical form. 

Don’t misunderstand. Dean’s body is a lovely one and Castiel could certainly sing his praises. 

He could wax poetic about his warm green eyes that crinkle when he smiles, lit by flecks of gold. 

Loves to trace the many scars and calluses that roughen his tanned skin, telling the long story that led them to where they are, finally safe in each other’s arms. 

He isn’t thinking of the bowed legs that he knows Dean is so self-conscious of, which Castiel finds endearing. Or the appealing red tinge that colors Dean’s cheeks when Castiel successfully flirts with him.

It isn’t even Dean’s soul that Castiel is referring to when he thinks of the beauty of Dean Winchester.

The beauty of Dean Winchester is the marks he leaves on others.

Dean believes himself toxic, tainted. That he ruins and destroys everything he dares touch. But Castiel knows the truth of it. Has seen the shining gratitude in the eyes of those Dean saves. Has witnessed the devotion Dean gives without thought, and the warmth and safety it provides to those taken into his care.

Castiel has seen Dean, strong, courageous, beautiful Dean, bloodied and bruised but unbroken, standing as the sole protector of all that was good, and seen that strength inspire Sam to beat the Devil himself.

And Cas has felt Dean’s patience, and kindness, and it unfurled a feeling deep inside Castiel that was unlike any he had known before and could only describe with the word beautiful, giving it a whole new meaning as Dean made Castiel’s very being sing with joy and wonder.

Castiel has tried to explain this to Dean. But Dean gets flustered, and self-conscious, and is quick to brush him off or distract him with a kiss.

But Castiel doesn’t mind. He knows that Dean doesn’t believe he deserves Castiel’s love and admiration, has a hard time accepting compliments. Castiel can be patient. He has all the time in the world to tell Dean how beautiful he is, and maybe one day he’ll even believe it.

In the meantime, Castiel is honored and joyful to witness this beauty and share in its splendor. There’s nowhere else he’d rather be.