Chapter Text
February 19th 2002, Heisei 14.
That day was supposed to be a simple boring day, one where Shinichi would go to a school he was too smart for yet didn't have a choice but to go, while Ran and the rest of his friends would have a good time somewhere else.
It would have still been a long slog of a day filled with tedium but at least he'd be in good fun company due to Ai being equally miserable. Having to relearn stuff he had already been above the rest of his class when he was previously a first grader was unbearable even then and torture now.
Huh. It was funny how quickly yet simultaneously silent the perception of a period of time went by. Shinichi checked his broken watch. It didn't work anymore but it still had vast sentimental value to him.
Examining it further as he drowned out the other passengers Shinichi was beginning to realize that the answer of why it has been chafing at his wrist as of late was held behind the reason it now felt as tight as a vice. It must be getting two small for him but despite Kogoro's best grumbling efforts to convince him elsewise he wasn't willing to get it off his wrist at that time.
He understood in concept why he wanted to get rid of it. Perhaps the Sleeping Sleuth figured that he’d stop crying if he moved on and got rid of the useless hunk of metal, he’d go back to his old self again. Wishful thinking at best, Shinichi thought.
But then again, even if it still fit on his wrist, neither of the original purposes of the watch could be served. And with the crown dented and rusted shut, the case that also served as the sights of his tranquilizer gun now broken with the dart now trapped inside, and the hands permanently stuck, its function as a watch was effectively obsolete.
Yet it meant more to him now, even if there was no one to tell the little boy he had temporarily became to throw it in the trash. It was too vast in sentimental value for Shinichi to stand losing sight of it for a long period of time. Maybe he had finally become the child he pretended to be and it had become his version of a teddy bear or doll. The watch may now be a useless but like a keepsake that a child who lost someone close to them, he couldn't get rid of it without the scalding idea he was throwing away the deceased family who were gone.
The watch didn’t just remind him of all Shinichi lost. With it he could see their shades in ways those saved photographs tainted by water damage couldn't raise from the dead. With this he could hear the endless rhythmic tapping of the memorized keyboards and smell the fresh ink of his father's typewriter as Shinichi sat on his lap.
With this little time capsule, Shinichi could once again hear his mother laugh and cheering as he perfectly recited the lines of her movies and dramas, smell the perfume she wore, hear his nickname as she beamed, and regret being so perturbed at Yukiko Kudo's bountiful cheering and laughter. All SHinichi could do was narrow and close his eyes, using the broken wristwatch as something to focus all his attention upon until the memories could turn sweet again. The former detective's peripheral vision blurred as he closed the eyes that had seen so much but cry no longer.
Just one of many things that Shinichi's that sorrow and depression couldn't help but focus on, the seven going on eight year thought to himself, Closing his eyes so that he wouldn't get a weird or pitiful look from the passengers walking by that saw the tiny lifeless doll that Ran was unable to comprehend, he could almost feel the the clock ticking on his growing wristbone. Only then would another welcome face of a ghost reappear.
Most importantly, if he didn't have this memento that was no way he could see Agasa again. Shinichi missed the friendly doctor most of all, the doctor with his silly puns, infinite optimism, always open shoulder, his propensity to sneak food past Ai with Shinichi's help, his… Everything.
But they were all gone. Agasa, his parents, his careless wayward days at Teitan, and Beika before the earthquake. Somehow, It never truly felt like it had ended though. There were so many times when he'd wake up half expecting to hear the crashing explosions coming from next door, the best alarm clock he ever had.
So Shinichi slept in. He and Ran were always so tired nowadays, especially after having to spend sleepless nights and mornings protecting what remained of their valuables from the camp thieves that were both desperate and greedy but now it seemed the biological need to recover lost energy was useless. Instead of nightmares they both dreampt of times with his deceased loved ones both faded in the past and the imaginary, cloaked in a shroud over his memories.
That was the worst part because it made him not want to wake up. Real, conscious life was so disappointing and unfair. It took all that was in him to stifle a sob that would have woken Ran up and Shinichi had done too much to his best friend and love of his life to stand depriving the Karateka of anything else.
Covering his mouth with both of the tiny hands that were now his whether he would want them or not, Shinichi shuddered for a moment before reluctantly taking a series of deep, steady breath that ended with a relieving sigh. Opening his eyes again, he took in the details of the interior around him. He had felt too numb earlier to even attempt this vestigial muscle memory of a skill he was unable to enjoy anymore. Most of the car was empty with everyone else sleeping so at the very least he and Ran had. A screen display on the side that had previously said KODAMA 641 to TOKKAIDO, ARRIVING AT TOKYO IN TWO HOURS. Another sign gave the time, track, speed, and whether or not the car was reserved or non reserved in both english and Katakana.
Looking up at the rectangular lamps on the ceiling casting artificial lighting that made the dark outlines outside the shinkansen more visible, even with the fogging on the inside. The horizon still bereft of Mount Fuji. Shinichi supposed that was both a curse and a blessing as he had longed to see the mountains familiar slope but recoiled at the thought of seeing half of Tokyo's skyline missing or being reconstructed as they struck the sky at half mast, almost as if some jealous giant had taken a huge bite out of the tops.
He looked down at his watch before his eyes would inevitably burn and water. The light from the coming dawn reflected in his glasses but being able to see the finer details didn't matter. He had every detail scorched into his mind.
It had stopped at exactly 9:47 AM.
Getting tired of reflecting, a exhausted Shinichi turned to his now legal guardian (the requisite papers were in a binder that had belonged to Ran's mother was underneath the booth seat) sleeping next to him.
Ran had a content expression on her face with a line of drool flowing haphazardly parallel out of the right corner of her mouth. That made him smile despite everything that had happened because she had been affected worse than him and he wouldn't have been able to sleep with the knowledge that she was trembling and crying out.
She wore an orange blazer, plaid scarf, and tan short skirt a motley outfit that Sonoko would have made fun of if she was…
Willing the bad memories away he forced himself to focus on Ran and Ran alone. Tragedy after tragedy they had faced but it was Ran's smile and unrelenting unmovable love that kept him from breaking. It made him giggle. How could she do that, how could any other person do that!
While everyone else at the refugee camp were depressed, despondent, and mourning, Ran was busy helping everyone and lighting the mood over the miasma that spread throughout its confines. She made everyone laugh and smile once again despite all the troubles everyone was going through.
Despite every humiliation inflicted by the misery they both received there and before, Ran's fire never went out, no matter how hard she cried, as if she was the only gem in the dirt and the muck never stuck.
The face she was making looked absolutely silly and in a past life he would have made a charm out of it to dangle in front of that cute remarkable smile.
It was worth becoming Conan once and for all just to keep it.
Even with the speed of the shinkansen, the sun would still fully shine before they saw Fuji. Even so with the walk through Beika seeming so difficult, it would probably be near noon before they could get off from Beika Station.
But that would mean that the hard part would be finally over. Everything was behind them. Shinichi nuzzled next to her left breast as he finally fell asleep.
Ran's arm sleepily wrapped around his torso, indicative of the promise they made to each other at the camp and for once they were both sound asleep, without any fears or bad dreams to hurt them.