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Chapter Text

The last thing Jace remembers is the ecstasy of fangs piercing his wrist, and he thinks--just before something clips him on the head and darkness crowds in--that if he's dying, at least it's in this moment, feeling as good as he does. 

When Jace comes to, everything aches. His mouth feels full of cotton, his whole body is sore, and his head throbs with every inhale. There's a grunt, but it doesn't come from him, and he has to force his eyes open slowly. For a second, he doesn't know what he's even looking at--the first thing he makes sense of is wide, terrified brown eyes. 

It comes to him slowly as he scans the prone form curled up in front of him. Simon's on his side, hair a mess, blood dried all over the part of his face that isn't covered. Most of his face can't be seen, however, as he's hidden behind a fucking muzzle.  

The fear in Simon's eyes makes Jace forget about any preconceived notions of their rivalry. Simon's eyes are wide, and he's keening pitifully at he stares at Jace in undeniable panic. Without much thought, Jace pushes himself up slowly, wincing at the pain that radiates through his body like waves, and he nearly stumbles as he scoots closer to Simon. He reaches out, going for the muzzle, and Simon flinches back as if expecting a hit. 

"Hey, no, shh," Jace says quietly, pausing as Simon goes still and simply stares at him. "M'just gonna take it off. Looks uncomfortable as all hell." 

Simon slowly nods and holds his head down so Jace can reach around and pull it off. His hands are tied as well, pinned together too tightly at the small of his back, and Jace silently frees his hands as soon as the muzzle slips off. Once free, Simon rubs at his jaw and stares at the dirty concrete they're sprawled out on. It's strangely peaceful, oddly enough. 

Simon clears his throat a looks up. "Thanks." 

"Don't mention it," Jace replies instantly, then peers around the cell and the bare room they're in. "You have any idea where we are?" 

"No." Simon swallows and stares at the blood flaking under his fingernails from where he was idly scratching at his chin. "After I...bit you, they knocked you out and ripped me away. I--I'm sorry about-- I didn't mean--" 

"Simon, that's not important right now. Tell me what the fuck happened," Jace says sharply. 

"Right, yeah. Valentine--he took us. You were passed out, and they put a bag over my head. They took me out and threw me in a trunk, but they took you somewhere. I have no idea where, but he was talking about the soul sword when they threw you in the trunk. He activated it, I know that, and I think--Jace, I think he used you to do it." 

"No, I'm the person who could destroy it. I was supposed to touch it, to deactivate it." 

Simon stares at him, lips tipping down. "Not according to him. But I--I can't be sure." 

"Fine. What happened after?" 

"You stayed passed out for the entire ride, and we rode a long time. I have no idea where. I tried to memorize the turns and stuff, but it didn't work. We could be in bumfuck for all I know. And when we stopped, they dragged us out the trunk, threw us in here, and just...left." 

"Valentine, too?" Jace asks warily. 

Simon nods. "He had the key. But someone's still here. I can hear them moving around outside. Might be him, but I don't-- There isn't a heartbeat."

"Great." Jace drops his head and sighs, eyes sinking closed. He takes a moment and just breathes, allowing himself a pause to adjust, then he looks back up at Simon. "And the, uh--" He gestures at his own face, jerking his chin at the muzzle. 

"They put it on before throwing me in here." Simon averts his eyes, swallowing thickly. "Valentine said that I'm just a monster who needs one, that I'm meant to be muzzled. He thought it was funny." 

"Oh," Jace mutters, staring at his own fidgeting fingers. His stomach twists. "Sorry." 

"Not your fault," Simon replies softly. 

"He's my dad," Jace tells him, an odd guilt swirling in the back of his mind, like he's responsible for the shit Valentine does. 

Simon snorts. "That's not on you. Not all family is perfect. Besides, your first instinct was to take it off, so that's the difference between you and him." 

"They hit you?" Jace forces himself to ask, not looking up from his fingers. He doesn't linger on Simon's casual approval. 

"Yeah, but I expected it." Simon shrugs quickly, a jerky movement Jace just barely catches out of his peripheral. "I healed, anyway." 

Again, Jace has the urge to apologize, as if any of this is his fault. He swallows the words down and finally looks up, eyeing the blood on Simon's chin. It's weird seeing his own blood painted grotesquely over Simon's face, dried and dark against slightly pale skin. The longer he looks, the more worry plagues him. He knows Valentine, knows just how fucked up he is, and it doesn't take a genius to work out just where this imprisonment can go. 

"Simon," Jace says carefully, doing his best to keep his tone perfectly neutral, "when do you think you'll get hungry again?" 

Simon's head snaps up. "What? Why? Jace, I'm not-- I won't bite you again, I don't care how much we enjoyed it. If you're craving--" 

"I'm not," Jace cuts him off quickly, though he isn't entirely sure if that's true. "Use your fucking brain. We're locked together in a cell for an undetermined amount of time, there's no one around, and it's just us. I'm a sitting duck, and I think I'd like to know when I'll be on the menu." 

"Oh. Oh." Simon's eyes go wide, lips parting as he stares at Jace in horror. "You think-- Would he do that? To--to his own--" 

"He's fucking insane. You think he gives a shit? He'd let me die just to prove a point." 

"I--I won't. Jace, I swear I won't. Tonight was-- I almost killed you." 

Jace mulls that over, his lips twisting as he recalls the pure ecstasy he'd felt as he was bitten. In a rare moment of honesty, he says, "I would have let you."

"Shit, I'm--I'm so sorry. I didn't--" 

"Shut up. Just--shut up. Answer my question. How long do I have before...you get hungry again?" 

"I'm pretty full. After I--well, you know. I could probably make it a few days before I get--before I'm not myself anymore." 

"Guess we'll just have to break out by then, huh?" 

"And if we can't," Simon announces seriously, hands shaking as he scoops up the muzzle, "you'll have to use this." 

Jace stares at it, watching how it trembles in Simon's hands. He doesn't take it when Simon holds it out, his stomach squirming again. "I'm not doing that. If it gets to that point,  we'll just--we'll think of something else." 

"There won't be anything else," Simon tells him forcefully, a strength in his voice betrayed only by how his hands visibly shake. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to kill you." 

"You won't," Jace replies flippantly, turning his gaze to the bars they're locked behind, ignoring the muzzle hanging in the air between them. "We'll figure something out. Now, shut up so I can think." 

"Jace, you have to--" 

"I don't have to do anything." 

"Jace," Simon insists, pushing the muzzle at Jace more seriously, eyes widening in a pleading fashion. 

"Simon," Jace snaps, "no. I'm not doing it, okay?" 

"Fine," Simon snips back, defiance taking over his face as he starts moving the muzzle back towards his face, his intentions clear. 

It's stupid, is the thing. In some part of Jace's brain, perhaps the survivalist in him, he knows that Simon makes even a small amount of sense. He hates it, but if it does come to that, the muzzle could be the very thing that keeps both of them alive long enough to get the fuck out of here. 

So, it's possibly the dumbest shit he's ever done--and that's saying something--when he leans forward without prompting and plucks the muzzle from Simon's clumsy hands. Not even thinking, an inexplicable fury tossing about in his chest, Jace flings the muzzle to the right. 

They both watch as it sails through the bars and skitters across the floor, settling well out of reach.

Jace doesn't even regret it. 

Simon, however, looks horrified. "Jace, what the everloving fuck? Why would you--" 

"It's not happening. Valentine's wrong, Simon. You don't need a fucking muzzle." Jace settles back down, landing on his ass and resting his arms on his bent knees. "I'm not him, and I'm not letting you do that." 

"It's not about-- I won't be able to stop! Don't you understand that? No matter how much I'll try, I won't have enough control to keep myself from ripping your throat out!" Simon explodes, hands jerking out in frustration. 

"Then so fucking be it!" Jace tosses his hands up too, anger swelling within him. "If I die, I fucking die. Valentine can let me get killed to prove a point, but I'll fucking die to prove mine!" 

"What point could possibly be worth--" 

"That he never fucking loved me in the first place!" 

Simon jerks back, the heaviness of Jace's words making his mouth snap shut, and Jace immediately wants to snatch the words right back out of the air. They're true, but he hates them all the same. Swallowing, Jace goes silent and looks away. 

Simon, for once, doesn't break the silence, letting the awkwardness stretch between them. It gets to the point that Jace can't even take it anymore. 

Quietly, he says, "And he is wrong. Downworlders aren't fucking monsters who need to be muzzled. This circumstance isn't the right kind of experiment. Too many variables against you. The real world isn't this, so it doesn't even count." 

"It'll count when you're dead, when I kill you." Simon's eyes sink closed and he sways as if he's even capable of being sick. "That was so stupid." 

"I guess stubbornness runs in the family," Jace says bitterly, scoffing as he stares at his shoes. 

"Much as I'd like to help you work through your family issues right now, we have more important matters to focus on. Like getting the fuck out of here, and fast, because the one chance we had at survival was tossed out by you on a freaking whim!" 

With that, Simon darts to his feet, moving to the bars to start yanking on them, blatantly ignoring him. Jace is used to Simon being angry with him, but this is different. This is something else, a deep-seated fury that Jace feels right to his toes. He knows he was wrong for tossing the muzzle away, even if he was trying to do good, because it's clear that Simon is more terrified of killing Jace than he is that he'll be muzzled again. 

Jace knows he should apologize, can feel the guilt making his skin tighten and crawl, but he can't force any words from his mouth. They all get clogged in his throat, making it hard to breathe. The crazy thing is, he isn't even scared of Simon, of dying. 

Not yet, at least. 

It takes little to no time at all to realize that they're stuck. The bars have no give, and no amount of working together to break out manages to even budge them. Jace even tries to pick the lock from both sides, but his fingernail isn't long enough and he doesn't have anything else. 

Simon's taken to trying to get the muzzle back. At first, he tries reaching it through the bars, but they both can see that it's too far away. Then, he slips out of his hoodie and tries to drag it in that way, and it's still too far. When it becomes apparent that it's out of reach, Simon makes Jace give up his leather jacket and ties it to his hoodie, tossing it through the bars over and over. The muzzle remains across the room, and Simon presses his face to the bars when he has no choice but to admit defeat. 

He looks ready to cry. 

Jace is no stranger to desperation or fear, so he wisely doesn't intervene with Simon's little breakdown. He silently walks the perimeter of the small cell. It's big enough that they can lay side by side, but that's all the room they've got. There's not a shower, nor a toilet, and Jace's bladder isn't pleased about it. 

The cell only takes up about a quarter of the room, but that doesn't mean anything. Outside of the cell is as bare and hopeless as inside. There's nothing on the floors or walls, only one door that must lead out, and it's ominously dim with one lightbulb casting a drab, yellow glow. 

Overall, it's pretty shit. 

When the dreadful realization that they're truly trapped settles in, they both go to their separate corners and fall silent. 

Jace doesn't mean to, but he dozes. It's not a restful nap, which makes complete sense. He dreams of Alec, but it's nothing cohesive, just snippets of moments that somehow all collaborate to equal a nightmare. When he jerks awake, his heart is racing and Alec's name falls from his lips. 

"You okay?" Simon asks cautiously. 

Jace reaches up and scrubs at his eyebrow, his head pulsing to an unpleasant beat. "What do you think? I'm pretty sure that Alec is having a fit right now." 

"They probably all are," Simon mutters. "Clary's probably going out of her mind." 

"They know I'm alive, at least. Alec would know if I wasn't. You, they can't be sure of, so yeah...Clary's probably losing her collective shit," Jace agrees tactlessly, too tired to soften his words. 

Simon lets his head tip back against the bar behind him, the impact making a dull thunk. "They'll find us. I know they will. Just a question of when." 

Their earlier argument suddenly joins them in the cell, taking up too much space, and Jace heaves a sigh. He knows they have to get over it before Simon actually does get too hungry, but he hasn't got a fucking clue about how to bridge the gap. He's wrong for what he did, and he knows it. 

Well, that might work. "I was wrong before," Jace says without preamble. He clears his throat. "About the muzzle, I mean. Not because I'm scared, or because you need it, but because you felt safer with it in that instance. Shouldn't have tossed it away, not if you made the decision to use it." 

"You really shouldn't have," Simon agrees, his voice cracking with distress. "It was the one thing standing between me becoming a murderer." 

"Is it murder if I'm willing?" 

"It is to me." 

Jace sighs and spits out, "Well, I'm sorry, okay? I'm just-- I've got a lot of shit that doesn't even have to do with you. Don't take it personally." 

"Kinda have to. It's going to get really personal when I have my fangs in your neck." 

"It's not like I won't enjoy it." 

"You shouldn't say that," Simon replies sharply, picking up his head to glare at Jace. "You're only saying shit like that because you think you're going to die. If you didn't, you'd never admit that." 

Jace can't help it, he snorts. "Got me all figured out, huh? And here I thought you were an idiot." 

"And here I thought you weren't as much of a dumbass as you are." 

"That's your mistake." 

"Yeah," Simon says dryly, "it really is." 

Jace rolls his eyes. "Whatever, are you over it now? Done being pissy?" 

"Only because I don't have the energy to be mad. Let me get a nap, then I'll be back to glaring." 

"Yeah, you're over it. So, I have a plan." 

"I can hear in your voice that I will not like this plan," Simon notes warily. 

"You won't, but it's all we got," Jace says simply, because it really is. "You're gonna have to eat eventually, and I'm a full-course meal. So, instead of waiting until you're starving, why not just do our best to stretch it out?" 

"You're offering to feed me?" Simon sputters. 

Jace quirks an eyebrow. "Well, yeah. Not the first time I gave you my wrist, remember?" 

"Yeah, but-- Well, you looked like Clary then. And it's just--it's different." 

"Maybe for you, but it was definitely me. It makes sense, Simon. It'll give us time, at least." 

"You'll get hooked on it. On me," Simon whispers, like it's a dirty little secret. 

"Yeah, probably, but that's a problem for later, when we get free. I'll kick it when we get back," Jace replies with more confidence than he feels. 

Simon is silent for a moment. "You don't even like me. You're not even--" 

"Doesn't matter," Jace interrupts. "We're stuck in this together, and it's up to us to get out of it alive. Clary would kill me if you didn't make it, and Alec would stake you if I didn't." 

"So, it has nothing to do with how good it felt? You cried, Jace. I saw it, I saw how you looked, how Clary looked. It was--it's intense." 

"It is. And it was good, will be good. But, like I said, we don't have much of a choice." 

"I don't like the idea," Simon admits petulantly. 

Jace quirks a small smile. "Told you." 

"How is this my life?" Simon complains, suddenly sounding so exhausted that Jace's traitorous heart gives a small pang. "I never asked for any of this, you know. I just-- It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was gonna be an accountant who practised music, and maybe I'd get a record deal, maybe get married and have kids. Not even with Clary, just--just in general, you know? My mom would have been a great grandmother, I would have punched numbers and waited for the chance to get to my guitar, and I'd never get fucking kidnapped at all." 

"The price of loving Clary," Jace murmurs, eyes dropping to his fingers again.

"Yeah," Simon agrees. Then, his voice goes really quiet, like what he's saying is so laden with shame that the words can't exist at regular volume. "Sometimes, I hate her for it, actually. I--I've never told anyone that before, but...I think it's true. She did this to me, and I--I let her." 

"Simon," Jace says awkwardly. 

But Simon isn't listening. He's on a roll. "I was going to tell her before this, or after, I don't know. I thought that if I could just say the words, that I'm in love with her, then I'd stop being so freaking lost when it comes to her. Maybe she'd love me back, and I could stop hating her that small bit. Or…" Simon trails off, the words sticking in his throat for a moment, then escaping in a hollow rasp. "Or, maybe she'd tell me that I'm her best friend and nothing more, that everything she did to me, for me, was bred out of a love that doesn't match mine, and then-- then I could hate her just enough to choose myself." 

The words are so honest, too honest, and they almost hurt to hear. Jace doesn't want them floating around in his brain, doesn't want the knowledge of Simon's side of the story. If he knows, if he has even a glimpse into the depths of Simon's feelings, he knows he might just agree with him. 

Loving Clary doesn't come without it's trials--that, Jace has learned firsthand. 

Plus, the fact that Simon's letting this slip, to Jace no less, only solidifies something that Jace doesn't want to acknowledge, that neither of them do. The fact that they're not going to make it out of this alive, not both of them, at least. What's the harm in being honest, this honest, if the words won't have the chance to be repeated? 

Jace clears his throat. "She--she really does love you, that's something I know for sure. If it's, uh, in love is something I don't know, but you didn't see her when you died. Which, you couldn't, obviously. But she couldn't let you go, couldn't do life without you. That's--it's special, kinda like me and Alec. Isn't that enough, even if it's not...romantic?" 

Simon blinks as if he just got slapped back into his own body. He stares at Jace. "Yeah, of course. I'm not-- It's not about that. It's about the fact that she knows how I feel, but she won't let me off the hook. I know she knows, she knows that I know that she knows. It's a lot of knowing, but she goes on like confirmation either way could ruin us." 

"You feel like she's leading you on," Jace says slowly, eyebrows hiking up. 

"No, not really. It's hard to explain. You don't--you never knew how close we are. We're best friends first, no matter what. I love her, I always will, and that's not going to change. The being in love with her part is miniscule compared to that, and she knows that. But it's almost like she believes the fact that I'm in love with her is the reason I'm here, and it isn't." 

"So, why haven't you just talked to her about it?" 

"A part of me doesn't want to know. Jeez, that's why I couldn't fucking stand you, did you know that?" Simon asks, snorting quietly. 

"No," Jace says sarcastically, "had no idea." 

Simon chuckles quietly. "Wasn't your fault, technically. Not your fault that she had eyes. But it was more than that. She just looked at you, and there wasn't hiding what she felt for you, no matter how much she tried. I never--I didn't have that. I was that, only when I looked at her." 

"You were jealous." 

"Yeah. Envious. Not just of how she looked at you, but of you. No one's ever looked at me like that. The fact that it was her--the one I wanted to look at me the most--was just infuriating." 

Jace purses his lips, words he knows he probably shouldn't say dancing on his tongue. He's powerless to stop them. "Why didn't you just move on, man? I mean, shit, if she wasn't giving you any signs, and you weren't going to ask for one, why not just...let it go? Like, seriously, we don't have anywhere to be. Is she actually the one?" 

"I wanted her to be. So badly. A part of me still does. I just did it for so long that it feels like a waste to just give up on it now. If not for the Shadow World shit, I think we'd have ended up together. I was going to let it unfold naturally, you know? But everything changed, and I felt like I was losing her, and I just clung harder. I just...don't know anymore." 

"Well, I can't help you out when it comes to her. Trust me, my relationship with her is much more complicated. You've got it easy." 

Simon shoots him a flat look. "What's complicated about it? She's your sister, end of story." 

"That's the fucked up part. Its should be: she's my sister, beginning of story, but that came later. Too late. We got involved before that knowledge came about." 

"Dude, I'm not going to lie to you, it's a little gross." 

"Yeah," Jace agrees, wrinkling his nose, "I know. I dunno, I thought it would be harder than it was. I mean, it sucked, but the fact that it was fucked up and, as you said, gross really...helped? You know what I mean. Now, the issue lies with the fact that we had feelings before, and we don't really know how to...coexist, I guess. After everything, I didn't expect to lose her anyway, not like this. I sometimes wish we were just siblings from the start." 

"Clary's not good with the, uh, weird stuff. Well, the stuff that makes her feel weird, I mean. If you two can figure out how not to be weird about it, you'll be fine. Then maybe you can, I don't know, actually have a family member worth acknowledging." 

"That was a little under the belt." 

"Yeah, well, you stole my girl," Simon mutters. 

Jace snorts. "And she turned out to be my sister." 

"Touché," Simon allows, lips quirking. "That was a joke, by the way. She's not mine, or property, or whatever. So, if we do--when we get out of here, don't run and tell her I acted like she was a trophy." 

"Sure," Jace says, waving a hand carelessly. He hums and eyes Simon. "I'm gonna ask you something. Has it always been her? You never-- I mean, you didn't want to even try with anyone else?" 

Simon shrugs. "Had a few girlfriends, but they always caught on about how I felt for Clary. There was this girl, Maureen, but that ended very badly. Had a boyfriend or two, but one moved away, and the other decided he was too young to settle down. I'm not fixated on Clary, I just...figured we'd have something amazing. But that doesn't mean I'm going to ignore it if it happens with someone else." 

"Ah," Jace grunts, nodding simply. "Well, in that case, I can tell you this. She isn't the one. She may be someone you always love a little too much, but she isn't the one you'll love the most. Same for me, actually. I knew it as soon as I moved on, because if she was the one, I wouldn't have been able to. Maybe Clary's just one of those people, one that the whole world can't help but revolve around." 

"Ya know," Simon murmurs with a slightly delirious laugh, "that's more apt than you'll ever know." 

Jace just gives Simon a two-fingered salute, well aware of the truth in his words. 

Somehow, despite the situation, they fall asleep. Simon goes first, his head drooping to the side, quiet snorts sounding every now and again. Jace follows shortly after, still sore and uncomfortable.

Unceremoniously, he's woken without an inch of sympathy. With massive hands grasping him by his throat, Jace is thrown out of the open door of the cage. He barely has time to see Simon handcuffed to the bars of the cell before he's dragged off by his hair. He hears Simon's shout that's muffled around a lump of cloth stuck between his teeth, visibly impaled by fangs. Then, the one door that leads out shuts with a clang and the distinct sound of a locking mechanism slamming heavily back into place. 

To be fair, Jace fights. Oh, how he fights. Kicking, clawing, and yelling--he fights. However, whatever fucking giant that drags him down a plain hallway barely seems to notice him at all, like he's less than a bothersome gnat. Whatever it is, it's shaped like a massive man--taller than anyone Jace has ever met, broader than them too--and it has lumpy skin like muscles are trying to burst free from its skin. In the midst of his flailing, Jace can see the black veins that snake underneath the skin of the humanoid creature, but he's never seen anything like this before. 

It's clearly one of Valentine's experiments, and it's obviously enhanced in speed and strength, which does Jace absolutely no favors. 

There really isn't much for Jace to do but be dragged by his hair, waiting for his fate. And it isn't long before he's jerked into a room with tile on the floor. The hulking creature releases him, then slams the door with another disheartening clunking noise that tells him he's locked in. Jace breathes heavily in a heap on the floor, rubbing his tender head, and he stares around the room. 

It's a bathroom. Literally. It's...just a bathroom. 

Complete with a toilet, a shower with an actual curtain, and the tiniest bar of soap he's ever seen in his life. Well, there's no mistaking what's supposed to happen here. 

Jace doesn't waste time, not entirely sure how long he has before the Moving Mountain comes back. He quickly relieves himself, then strips and steps into the stall. It's stupidly cold, the water's like ice, but he goes through the motions anyway. Despite the fact that he's shivering when it's over, he does feel better after. There's a small shelf across the room with two new additions waiting for him, meaning that the Moving Mountain snuck in while he was showering, which is creepy on so many levels. 

The small tray has nothing but a clump of meat, a piece of bread, and dollop of what appears to be pea-colored...yogurt? Still, he forces himself to eat it anyway, aware that he needs to keep his strength up. It's gross, and the lone mint that sits in the last section of the tray makes his mouth taste blissfully fresh. Once done, he slips into the clothes that the Moving Mountain had gifted him with. 

Plain grey shirt, plain grey pants. 

Jace hates them. The Moving Mountain has no sense of fashion, apparently. 

He steps back into his boots and tries to pick up the tray, fully intending to try his luck at knocking the Moving Mountain upside its head. Except, of course, the tray is somehow stuck to the shelf. Just his fucking luck--what else is new? 

He has no choice but to wait, so that's what he does. 

It feels like forever, but could be twenty minutes, before the Moving Mountain comes back. Jace has no intentions of making this easy for it, tensed and ready to fight, but it's apparently prepared for that. Without any warning whatsoever, the Moving Mountain swings a long rope through the doorway, legit fucking lassoing it, and before Jace knows what's happening, he's being dragged down the hall in a circle of rope that digs into his skin. 

It is, quite possibly, the most undignified that Jace has ever been in his entire life, and he's had his ass handed to him by Izzy many times, so that's really saying something. 

He knows he's back into the room with the cell--not only by remembering the door, but because there's more muffled shouting from Simon. Jace swings his head around to watch as the Moving Mountain unlocks the cells and carelessly flings Jace in, snatching the rope off him roughly in passing. Before Jace has fully hit the floor, the Moving Mountain slams the cell door shut and stomps over to the bars that Simon's handcuffed to. 

While it frees Simon, Jace takes the time to actually look at its features. They look vaguely humanesque as well, but the lumps are as vivid there too, and the black veins twine worse across its face. The eyes are milky white, no pupils at all, and it doesn't really seem to have much for lips, revealing only yellowing teeth that resembles a shark more than a human's. 

As soon as Simon's hands come down, the Moving Mountain is turning around and walking away, heavy steps echoing as he heads out. The door locks behind him, and Jace turns to Simon. 

"You okay?" Jace asks. 

Simon reaches up and pokes at a fang, grimacing. When it retracts, he huffs. "That thing nearly took a fang when it snatched the rag out my mouth. Twice." 

"Twice?" Jace blinks. "It came back in here?" 

"Yeah." Simon abruptly looks very confused. "It fed me. Jace, it actually freaking poured blood into my mouth. I'm not sure if your theory is correct. I'm actually beginning to think that Valentine has different plans for us after all." 

Jace nods. "Yeah, I'm getting that idea too." 

"Why? Where'd it take you?" 

"To a bathroom. Got to shower, eat, change clothes. Whatever's going to happen...it involves us being alive and healthy--even at the bare minimum." 

"Great," Simon mutters. "Just fucking great." 

Jace doesn't echo the sentiment, but he doesn't really have to. Simon's got it covered. 

Chapter Text

"You know, I think--despite everything--there's a bright side to this." 

Jace blows out a deep breath and looks to the ceiling of their prison. By the angel, Simon is grating on every single nerve in his body. He doesn't really have a sense of time here, but it feels as if Simon has been talking constantly for hours. He almost wishes they could go back to before, back to when they were positive they were days away from death. At least, then, they were quiet from the impending doom. 

"Tell me," Jace says flatly, "what's the bright side, Simon? What could possibly be bright about this?" 

"Okay, debbie downer." Simon snorts and shakes his head. "Just hear me out, alright? As far as being kidnapped goes, it could be a lot worse. At least we're not alone, and hey, maybe we could actually bond!" 

"As you pointed out at some indistinct time earlier, I don't actually like you." 

"Really?" 

"Really," Jace confirms. 

Simon frowns at him. "Why?" 

"Would you like the full list? In alphabetical order, or chronological? I'm not sure we have enough time." 

"Okay, so our first encounter wasn't the best, and we've had our...problems, but I can't be that bad." 

Jace arches an eyebrow. "Aren't you a little biased?" 

"Nah, I know my faults." Simon flashes him a quick grin, something boyish that doesn't really fit in their current setting. "I think I'm mostly a likeable guy. Seriously, I think we could have been friends if we met somewhere naturally; no Clary, no death...just us. We would have been great." 

Jace tilts his head and says, "Nah." 

"Again, why not?" 

"We just don't...mesh." 

Simon claps his hands together and sits forward, watching Jace expectantly. "Okay, fine, give me the list. Chronologically, please." 

"We fought the first time we met. I realized upon meeting you that you were annoying, that you didn't know when to shut up, that you weren't as funny as you thought you were, and you didn't know how to leave well enough alone." 

"Gonna pause you there. We talked about the fighting thing, right? Bygones, and all that. I can be annoying, sure, but everyone is in their own way. I do talk a lot, that's true, but only when I'm scared or really passionate about something--which tends to be most of the time. I am funny, whereas you won't even let yourself laugh. And trust me, I tried to mind my own business, but I have a crippling sense of loyalty that has me by the balls. Next." 

Jace's eyebrows crawl up his forehead, a traitorous smile trying valiantly to curl the corners of his lips up. "Seriously? We're doing this?" 

"Yup." Simon bobs his head and waves his hands in a hurry up motion. "Keep going." 

"Alright, you asked for it. I'll cut you some slack. You have perseverance, I'll give you that, and I can respect it. But you're also a dork, so--" 

"Everyone's a bit of a dork, I just embrace it." 

"Okay, fine. You're always getting into trouble." 

"Ah, yes, a major flaw. That, I'm aware of. But you're argument is invalid," Simon tells him seriously. 

"Wait, what?" Jace frowns. "How?" 

"Clary. She gets into more trouble than I do, yet you loved her. So. Next." 

"Well...okay, fair enough. You and I have nothing in common." 

"That we know of," Simon corrects, waggling a finger at him with a small grin. "It's not like we've ever sat down to compare notes. And, you know, two people don't have to have anything in common to get along. What else?" 

"You're a danger-magnet," Jace says flatly, arching an eyebrow pointedly. "Wouldn't be a problem if you actually knew how to save yourself." 

Simon purses his lips. "Okay, I'll give you that one. Well, mostly. You're right, I don't really know how to fight or protect myself, but that doesn't mean I'm not willing to learn. Not everyone was raised in a training room. So, you can have that, but I'm calling it invalid on unfair terms. Not my fault, ya know?" 

"You died. You just...died." 

Jace averts his eyes, aware of how soft his voice had just gotten. He can feel Simon's gaze boring a hole in the side of his head, relentlessly curious. 

He doesn't know why he said that, why he allowed himself to admit it. Sure, it's true, but it's one piece of honesty that should be hidden away, locked up, never to see the light of day. The fact is, Simon freaking died, and Jace can't tie himself to that. He can't care about Simon--the one who proved once already that he can't survive this life. Jace feeling mildly responsible for his safety is bad enough; bonding with him is out of the question. 

"That's why you came to save me, isn't it? Not just for Clary, but because you genuinely didn't want me to die again. You can't handle it." 

"I could," Jace argues, then instantly deflates, "but I really don't want to." 

"So, that's what it is?" Simon huffs a bitter laugh, shaking his head as he settles back against the bars yet again. "A guy dies once, and that's all he's known for. Well, news flash, asshole, you can't hold that against me. In case you didn't notice, I've done everything to keep from dying again ever since." 

"I can't tell," Jace snips, rolling his eyes. 

"This? This, right here?" Simon swirls a finger, gesturing to the cell they're stuck in. "This is not my fault. I'm just trying to live my life, Jace. And it kinda pisses me off that--well, I shouldn't have less support after dying once already." 

Jace pauses to stare at Simon, actually considering those words in length. He's right, much as Jace hates to admit it. Simon doesn't actually deserve to be pushed away just because he's succestable to death, no matter how much someone wants to avoid loss. Not only is that unfair, it's not actually sensible, considering that him dying once could very well be the reason he outlives them all. 

Still, the fact remains. 

"Yeah, well, you're still annoying," Jace mutters, biting back a snort when Simon perks up. 

"That sounds like you think I'm right." Without explanation, Simon grins and scoots forward, holding his hand out towards Jace. "Don't worry about the annoyance; I promise I'll grow on you, I always do." 

Jace stares at his hand. "What are you doing?" 

"Well, I think we could do with a clean slate, don't you? I mean, we had a lot of history that wasn't so great, and now we're stuck here, and I proved that you have no reason to dislike me. Plus, we've had our fair share of heavy moments." Simon's smile widens goofily and--horrifyingly enough--charmingly. He pushes his hand towards Jace insistently. "So, hi, my name's Simon Lewis, and it's really nice to meet you." 

"Absolutely not. I'm not doing this. Why are you doing this? You don't even like me!" 

"Well, like I said, we're kinda stuck here. I'd rather us get along. Plus, I almost killed you, so there's that. I dunno… I guess I just thought--" 

Jace glares at Simon. "I don't need your pity. You didn't fucking kill me, so let it go already. Go right back to hating me and move on." 

"I don't hate you, jeez," Simon mutters, smiling falling into a frown. "If it's any consolation, I'd be the same way if it was Alec. Well, mostly. At least you're funnier than him. But the point is, I'd try." 

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" Jace asks, eyeing Simon's outstretched hand warily. 

Simon's smile comes back full force. "As we've already discovered, letting go isn't really my thing. So, I'll just keep trying. Hi, my name is--" 

"If I shake your fucking hand, will you please shut up?" Jace interrupts, reaching up to punch the bridge of his nose in exasperation. If there's a tinge of fondness that he's currently hiding by doing so...well, Simon's none the wiser. 

"I'll do you one better." Simon scoots a little closer, smiling wide enough to flash a retracted fang. "If you shake my hand, I'll hum myself to sleep." 

Ah, blissful silence. 

Jace catches Simon's hand in his own, clasping it firmly and giving it a solid pump. "Hi, I'm Jace Wayland-slash-Morgenstern-slash-Lightwood, and I would really like it if you could shut the fuck up." 

Simon snorts. "Dude, you have way too many last names." 

"Tell me about it," Jace quips back dryly. 

Simon pulls away with a pleased smile, looking like the cat that got the cream, and he scoots back over to his side of the cell. True to his word, Simon begins humming a soft tune that somehow lulls Jace into a sleepy state as well. 

When he drifts off, Simon's still humming. 

Jace wakes to screaming. It's not his own. 

He jolts up instantly, scanning the cell for Simon, finding only empty space. The scream echoes in his ears, already tapering off, and distantly, it picks back up again. It's definitely Simon, definitely far off, and definitely about to give Jace a heart attack. 

He can't do anything. 

Jace has no choice but to listen, unable to get out of the fucking cage he's forced into. Restless, angry, and above all else... worried, he paces the length of the cell and flinches every time Simon screams. He tries yelling, tries beating against the bars, but no one comes, and Simon's screams don't stop. 

Until, quite abruptly, they do. 

The silence is so stark and harrowing that Jace can barely focus over the sound of his heavy heartbeat in his ears. It takes him a moment to realize that he's scared, that he's stunned into stillness with fear. He can't see anything, can't hear any clues, and he has no way of knowing if Simon is even alive. 

Jace stands frozen by the cell door, watching the only entry point to the room like a hawk, holding his breath as he listens for anything. 

It feels like an eternity before the door bangs open and the Moving Mountain comes stalking in the room with a limp form over his shoulder. Jace immediately prepares himself to fight, but he doesn't really get the chance. The Moving Mountain opens the door long enough to hoist Simon up and toss him at Jace, then shuts the door before leaving the way he came. Jace just barely manages to catch most of Simon's deadweight, stumbling as he lowers him to floor with wide eyes. 

Simon looks dead. 

Wait, don't be fucking stupid, Jace thinks harshly, he always looks dead. 

The thing about trying to figure out if Simon is genuinely dead, as opposed to not-really-dead, is that it's next to impossible. He isn't breathing, but Simon doesn't technically need to breathe. Looking for a pulse is just a waste of time. There's really no way to tell if he's alive or not, so he has no choice but to wait. Yet again. 

Jace is getting really tired of the waiting game. 

He waits, and waits, and waits. Nothing, not even a twitch. Simon doesn't give any sign that he's ever going to move again, but Jace refuses to look away. He can't be dead, can't be, not again. Clary would kill him, he'd never forgive himself, and shit...loathe as he was to admit it, he's actually sort of thankful to have Simon in this shit with him. 

Jace tries to imagine how he'd explain it. How he'd have to tell Clary that he failed to save him this time. How Simon must've suffered, if his screams were anything to go by. How he'd have to hold her while she sobbed yet again. How he'd have to admit that he slept through Simon being taken. How he'd have to walk around feeling like shit for the rest of his life, aware that all he'd done was nothing. 

"Ouch." 

Jace releases the first full breath since he woke, nearly falling over from the intensity of his relief. He has to take a moment to just breathe as he watches Simon push himself up on his elbows, one hand reaching up to cradle his head. Then, the relief turns shaky, making Jace's entire frame tremble. Fear morphs into anger, rocking him so solid that he feels seconds from being sick. 

"Fuck. Fuck." Jace slowly hobbles towards Simon, his knees protesting the concrete floor. "Why didn't you--where did you go? I didn't-- Don't ever do that again, Simon! Never again, you understand me?"

Simon blinks at him blankly, tear tracks still visible against his cheeks. "Well, it's not like I had a choice. You okay? You look--" 

"Are you seriously asking me if I'm okay?" Jace blurts, baffled. "What did it do to you? I could-- Simon, I could hear you screaming your head off." 

"Really? Are you...sure?" Simon frowns and sits up fully, swiveling to face Jace. "Nothing happened to me. I mean, that thing roughed me up and knocked me out, but it's you I'm worried about!" 

Jace rears back in shock. "Me? What the fuck does that mean? When I woke up, you were gone. All I heard was you screaming, then the Moving Mountain brought you here looking dead all over again." 

"No, it injected you with something, Jace. I saw it. I was asleep, but I woke up to it sticking a needle into your throat. I tried to stop it, but whatever the fuck that thing is just dragged me out." 

"So, you weren't hurt at all?" 

Simon grimaces. "That's not exactly the case. The big guy isn't exactly gentle, but I'm more worried about you. Come here, lemme see your neck." 

Jace heaves a sigh and knee-hobbles closer to Simon, watching him get on his knees as well. He takes a moment to consider the irony of offering his neck to a vampire, but that's only mildly amusing, at best. Simon doesn't seem to think it strange, focused fully on pressing the back of his hand to Jace's chin. He tilts Jace's face towards the left and leans in, frowning as he examines his neck. 

"See anything?" Jace asks flatly. 

"No," Simon mutters, pulling back with a sigh. He flicks his gaze to Jace's. "It doesn't look as if you were injected at all. There's no irritation? Doesn't feel weird, or tender, or burn at all?" 

"No." Jace rubs at his neck warily, waiting for any sign of change, but there isn't any. "And you're sure that you weren't tortured?" 

"Trust me, I'd have noticed." Simon snorts and flops back down, releasing a deep sigh. "So, you got stuck with a needle full of whatever, and you heard me screaming bloody murder, except the worst I got was some roughening up. Well, looks to me like we've got a mystery to solve, gang." 

Jace shoots him an odd look. "What the fuck are you talking about? Look, this isn't some joke. Valentine is known for his experiments, so anything could be flowing through my veins right now. Simon, whatever you do, don't bite me." 

"You think he poisoned you?" 

"With him, we can't rule it out." 

"Do you--are you okay? Not feeling sick, or weak, or, or--" Simon snaps his mouth closed when Jace waves a hand, but the worry doesn't bleed from his face. 

"I'm fine, for now. We'll just have to be more careful. No sleeping by the bars anymore, and we should take shifts, if we can." 

"It would help if we knew the freaking time. I never know when that thing is coming back." 

"You can hear it, right?" Jace asks hopefully. 

Simon's lips flatten into a displeased line. "It doesn't have a heartbeat, and I can only hear it when it is being loud. Dunno if you noticed, but despite its size, it can sneak around nearly silently." 

"Yeah," Jace says, "I noticed." 

"So...what? We curl up in the middle, sleep in turns, and try to fight our way out of here when it comes back? Jace, I don't think we can fight it." 

"I know what you mean. I've never encountered anything like that before; it's like a living tank. But there has to be a way it can die, or be stopped, at least. Maybe we can trap it in here." 

"Ehh, like you said, I'm not the best at fighting. I mean, I'll help, but...ya know," Simon mumbles, looking faintly ashamed. 

Jace swivels his head to face Simon fully. "We'll figure it out. You're better than you think, okay? Being a vampire has some advantages. Speed, for one. If you get the chance, you need to run , Simon." 

"What? I'm not--I won't just leave you here," Simon argues defiantly, eyebrows crumbling. 

"You will. You have to, you understand? Get out, get the others. I'll be fine." 

"You'll be killed the moment I run and we both know it. I'm not leaving you behind."

Jace inhales deeply and lets it out slowly, trying to keep calm. "I appreciate that, I really do, but this isn't some fucking game. You see the opportunity, you fucking take it, and I mean it." 

"No," Simon snaps, threading his fingers together and squeezing them so his already pale skin turns eerily white. "I'm not doing it, I'm just not. We leave together, or we don't leave at all." 

"Simon--" 

"No." 

Jace doesn't reply for a long, uncomfortable moment. Simon's clearly not budging. On one hand, it's an honorable gesture, but on the other, it's fucking stupid. Jace wants Simon to run, to get out, to be the one who lives if it's a choice between them. As stubborn as Simon is being, it doesn't seem to be an option. But Jace doesn't think he can change his mind, either. Which...that fucking sucks. 

The silence stretches for an unnecessary amount of time; they're at an impasse. 

Whatever, they'll have to revisit it later. For now, it is smart to get into the center of the cell and keep anyone from reaching them from the outside. Wordlessly, Jace pushes to his feet without sparing Simon a glance, moving the space in the cell where no one could grab him without entering. Since he's pretty sure they're in a spat, he doesn't invite Simon to join him. But since it's important that Simon joins him, he doesn't comment when Simon moves over to sit beside him, less than a foot away. 

Jace knows that they're both pissed off, exhausted from the adrenaline of fear and worry, but he's also not mature enough to apologize this time. 

Because this time, Simon's the one being an idiot. 

"What's your favorite color?" 

"Fuck off." 

Okay, to be fair, Jace doesn't like waking up. It's the whole 'rediscovering how to be alive' thing, and frankly, it's not fun. How some people wake up in a good mood, he'll never understand. And someone asking him things before he remembers that he actually has to exist? Yeah, it makes him a little crabby. 

"Huh," Simon notes, "you're not a morning person, then. Good to know, I guess." 

"It's morning?" Jace grumbles, cracking open an eye and staring around blearily. "How d'you know?" 

"I don't, actually. It's just a saying." 

"Oh." 

"So…" Simon trails off, peering over at him with shifty eyes, his fingers twisting at a random string dangling from his well-worn hoodie. 

Jace sits up, stretching and recalibrating his limbs. At least he feels rested. "So?" he echoes, scowling at his obviously nervous cellmate. 

"Favorite color?" Simon tries again. 

Without missing a beat, Jace replies, "Fuck. Off." 

"Okay, I'm sorry. I don't really think I was wrong, or whatever, or not any more wrong than you were about the muzzle, but like-- Yeah, you know what, I am sorry, but only because it was important to you. I'm still not going to run, and you can't change my mind, and I don't think it's fair to stay upset with me when I forgave you about the muzzle. But," Simon intones, speech slowing from rapid-fire to softer sincerity, "I am sorry." 

Jace sighs. "Brown." 

"Brown?" Simon blinks rapidly, genuinely surprised by that. "Wait, really? Why?" 

Jace doesn't answer for a moment, toying with the idea of brushing it off. He looks around the cell and the room surrounding it. Still a dull, grey room with a cell through the back half, and the low-lit lightbulb is as yellow as ever--meaning, not very. He's beginning to hate the sight of it; he finds himself missing the Institute, the sky...hell, even trees. 

"Jace?" Simon prods gently, watching him with a cautious frown. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I mean, brown is nice, I guess. My favorite color is purple. Mostly because it was the color of my very first guitar that my dad got me. I--I broke it within a year, but he wasn't even mad. He just repurposed it; he took the body of it and had it shaped into the Star of David to hang on my wall. Well, it did until...until he died, then it was buried with him, which was my choice 'cause that's what I chose, and it was pretty small, so...yeah." 

Jace doesn't really know what to say to that. He doesn't think there is anything to say. But if Simon's telling personal shit, Jace figures he can divulge a little himself, even if only to make it less awkward. Jace hates awkwardness. 

"I had a falcon once," Jace murmurs, reaching down to fiddle with the straps on his boots, not looking up as he speaks. "It was black and brown, but the tawny feathers were the softest. Maybe not, but I was young enough to think so. And then, the Lightwoods took me in. Izzy and Alec have brown eyes, and mine are...not, so I always wanted brown eyes too." 

Simon leans over and knocks his shoulder into Jace's, lip curling up. "That's kinda cute, actually. I mean, having a pet falcon is pretty badass, but wanting brown eyes is sweet." 

"Just wanted to be a part of the family," Jace says, shrugging as casually as possible. "I always thought brown eyes were pretty; Alec and Izzy's are." 

"But your eyes are cool as hell, dude," Simon replies easily, shooting him an odd look. "It's definitely a conversation starter, that's for sure." 

"The grass is greener, and all that," Jace mutters, waving a hand as if he can bat away the moment. 

Simon hums. "Ya know, my eyes are brown. Does that mean my eyes are pretty too?" 

"Unfortunately, yes," Jace says flatly. 

"Oh, really?" Simon brightens visibly, looking so utterly pleased that Jace snorts. "No, hey, don't laugh at me. Brown-eyed people don't get enough love. I think this is the first time anyone has told me that my eyes are pretty. This is a momentous occasion, okay? Stop laughing, I'm serious!" 

Jace rolls his eyes, working to stop chuckling, even if Simon looks pleased by that too. "Shut up. Whatever, why are you asking me my favorite color, anyway?" 

"Just curious. I didn't know, plus we started over and all, so why not, right? Ask me something." 

"I don't want to know anything." 

"Well, I mean in the general sense. Like...favorite season, favorite hobby, that stuff," Simon instructs, staring at Jace with meticulous expectation, making it very clear that this is something he won't be letting go. True to form, he needles, "Come on…" 

"Okay, fine." Jace heaves a sigh and turns on his side, placing his cheek in his hand as he stares up at Simon curiously. "You like music. Why? When did you start doing it?" 

Simon looks surprised that Jace is actually going along with it, but pleasantly so. "I started when I was pretty young. Music was always something my dad and I bonded over together. It also helps keep me focused, ya know? Helps with anxiety and shit, gets me out of my own head, that kinda thing." 

"So, you've been doing it for most of your life," Jace surmises, "yet you still suck at it." 

"Oh, fuck you," Simon blurts, a bark of laughter sounding out like it's unwilling. He reaches over and shoves Jace's shoulder, displacing him. "You're such an asshole. I'm mediocre at the very least." 

Jace snorts. "Yeah, okay, I'll give you that." 

Simon beams. "Thank you." 

A comfortable silence settles around them. It's so strange, is the thing. Though they're not in immediate peril, they're both aware that this is a dire situation. This is the farthest thing from a vacation, and they're certainly not friends, but even Jace knows that they can't stay in constant fear--not if they take their sanity into account. 

Jace hadn't realized until now that a lot of his issues with Simon aren't that...well, fair. He does know how to shut up, but it's obvious that he only does it when he wants to. And--rare as it is--he isn't constantly annoying.

Overall, it could be a lot worse. 

Chapter Text

Without any warning, the Moving Mountain comes in. It doesn't even seem to care that they've migrated to the center of the cage. Without preamble, and with a strange hiss, it opens the cell door enough to toss that stupid lasso with frightening accuracy. Jace and Simon try to avoid it, naturally, but it hooks around Jace's ankle. 

Jace gets dragged out with Simon shouting his name and trying to hold him by the hands. That doesn't seem to perturb the Moving Mountain, either. It simply yanks Jace so roughly that his ankle gives a sickening crack, and Simon lets go with his mouth dropping open in horror. 

It hurts, but any snapped ankle would. Jace curses up a storm as he's yanked out the cell, out of the room, and down the hall. The Moving Mountain is careless to his pain, not stopping to give him reprieve, just tugging him right to the bathroom yet again. And when it has Jace fully inside, it snatches the rope back and leaves Jace lying alone on the floor. 

"Well, fuck," Jace snaps, pushing himself up to examine his ankle. 

The state of it makes him want to punch something. On top of the painful throb in the area, his ankle is already swelling as light bruises start to form. He immediately removes his boots to give it some breathing room, hoping that will help. 

It does not. 

His ankle is definitely broken. That's not even a question. Fortunately, he's no regular human, so the wound will heal faster. Not fast enough, however. It could take a week or three, depending on how bad the fracture is, and the process won't be painless. And he'll have to stay off it. 

So, there goes at least most of his options of getting the fuck out of here. And now, he's going to have a bitch of a time getting a shower and changing his clothes. That's not even including the most likely less-than-pleasant trip back to his cell. 

All of it goes as horribly as expected. Jace struggles through the shower, doing his best not to lean on his injured foot. The frigid water helps, at least. It soothes the pain a bit--only a bit--and it's good for injuries, a fact he's learned over the years. Getting to the food is a task, but he manages by hobbling along the wall. He leans back by the shelf, his fucked up ankle held in the air as he eats the nasty food he's provided with. Then, he has to get into a new set of equally bland, grey clothes. 

He's just barely managed to get dressed with mild complications--putting his boot back on is a struggle, and he has to leave it loose--when the Moving Mountain bangs his way back in. 

"Wait, wait, wait. Wait!" Jace bellows, still holding himself up against the wall. 

The Moving Mountain doesn't seem like it'll actually stop, that stupid rope in its hands, but it does pause for a moment. It grunts at Jace. 

"You fucked up my ankle," Jace grits out, jerking a hand at the visibly wounded area. "I can't freaking walk, and you'll make it worse if you drag me through the hall." 

It just stares at him with milky white eyes. 

Jace sighs and points at his ankle, then jabs a finger at the rope. "No. Bad. Hurts." 

The Moving Mountain starts back towards him, and all Jace can think is oh, fuck. But something Jace did must have made sense, because it just reaches out and grabs him by his arms. Jace stares down at the massive hands that drape over most of his upper arms and shoulders, then curses sharply when it hauls him up like he weighs nothing. 

Just...picks him up by his fucking arms. 

Jace hadn't felt this small in a long time. It grips him so strongly that all he can do is dangle in its grasp, feeling as if his bones are grinding together. His ankle is unharmed, at least. The worst part? Simon gets a glimpse of it as he's brought back to the cell, carelessly thrown right at Simon like nothing more than a broken rag doll. 

Simon manages to catch him, mostly. His ankle goes unharmed again, a thing Jace is thankful for, and he grinds his teeth as Simon helps him settle on the floor gingerly. Taking one look at the injury, Simon grimaces like he can feel it too. 

"Jeez, that looks terrible," Simon mumbles. 

Jace blows out a deep breath. "Well, that's because it is. Hurts as bad as it looks too. Next time, do me a favor and let me go." 

"I was just-- I didn't mean to--" 

"I know, just… Just don't try your strength against it. Trust me, we'll lose every time." 

"I'm sorry," Simon says, biting his lip. "At least you got to get clean and eat. I mean, that is what happened, right? Because it came and fed me again. Even cleaned my face this time." 

Jace eyes Simon closely. "Yeah, I can see that." He'd been politely not mentioning the faint stain of blood on his face from before. "And yes, I showered and ate. Could do with a fucking toothbrush, though." 

Simon wrinkles his nose. "You're telling me. Hey, how long do you think we've been here?" 

"Well, it can't be more than a week. The body shuts down after three days without water. I've had two showers so far, which is where I get to drink my water. You get hungry every three days or so, right? Not ravenous, just...hungry, and you haven't gotten to that point yet. So, my guess? Three days, at least. Six, at most." 

"And we haven't seen Valentine at all." 

"We...have not," Jace agrees slowly, a wrinkle forming between his eyebrows. "Maybe he checks in? That thing doesn't seem to talk much, but it understands what we say, or to an extent it does. I don't know, but what I'm sure of is...the longer we go without seeing Valentine, the better." 

"Yeah," Simon murmurs, frowning. "Well, unless he's keeping the others preoccupied. They can't very well find us if they're busy with him." 

Jace sighs and lets his eyes sink closed. "We're priority, Simon, I promise you that. They won't stop looking, no matter what." 

"I hope you're right," Simon says quietly. 

"Usually am," Jace mumbles. 

Simon hums. "You're dead on your feet. Uh, foot. Get some sleep, Jace. I'll keep watch." 

Jace is far too tired to argue. He manages a small grunt, eyes feeling too heavy to open. "Yeah, 'kay." 

"Goodnight, Jace," Simon whispers, then starts softly humming a tune that Jace is slowly becoming accustomed to. 

He's asleep within seconds. 

Jace isn't exactly the comforting type, but there are moments that he rises to the occasion. 

Case in point, this. 

When Simon wakes with a hoarse shout in the middle of Jace's shift, he doesn't really know what to do, not at first. His automatic instinct is to give Simon privacy and pretend he has no idea about the emotional vulnerability that's beside him. But Simon scrambles up, panting, and he still looks half-asleep. 

"Hey," Jace says quietly, doing his best not to startle him. Without much thought, he slides over and presses the side of his knee into Simon's, just a firm weight pressed against his. "You're okay, it was just a nightmare. You good?" 

Simon lets out a shuddering breath and reaches up to cover his face with both hands, shoulders hunched. He isn't crying, but he's so stiff that Jace fears he might shatter if he tries to move. They both stay that way for a long moment, Simon tense and silent, Jace pressing his leg up against Simon's in some attempt of comfort. Awkward as it may be, at least he's trying. 

"Shit," Simon groans weakly, dropping his hands and staring at some point in the distance with a worrying blankness in his gaze. 

Jace clears his throat. "Wanna, uh, talk about it?" 

"What do you think?" Simon mutters blandly, tone lacking the bite to make the words as harsh on the delivery. "Why, do you enjoy rehashing the shit you have nightmares about to a guy who barely tolerates you? Funnily enough, I doubt that." 

"Alright, I guess I deserve that," Jace says with a heavy sigh. "You don't have to, I'm just offering."

"Thanks," Simon replies flatly, "but I'm fine." 

Jace doesn't really know what else to say, so he fiddles with his fingers and tries not to drown in the uncomfortable atmosphere. It doesn't really work, and soon, he feels as if he's suffocating from it. Simon doesn't seem to notice, and if he does, he clearly doesn't give a fuck about it. 

Well, Jace can't take it, so he says, "If you need--" 

"I don't," Simon cuts him off sharply. 

"Okay." Jace fiddles with his fingers some more, mind not providing any help on how to make this situation better. Silence isn't really doing the trick, so he takes a leaf from Simon's book and begins to ramble. "You know, you say I barely tolerate you, but that's not exactly true. I mean, when I said we don't mesh, I meant it. You're awkward as hell, and I can't stand awkward moments--they make me feel like I'm being choked, and not in the fun way. But I still interact with you, so that's more than tolerating you." 

Simon inhales deeply and lets it out. "Didn't really need to know about your choking kink, Jace."

"You're deflecting," Jace notes, lips twitching at Simon's automatic sarcasm. "And maybe, just maybe, I was a little wrong about you. Don't tell anyone I said that, or I'll never speak to you again." 

"Right, because that's a threat," Simon mutters, eyes rolling. He looks up, focusing on Jace. "Wrong how?" 

Jace straightens up, knocking his knee into Simon's gently, refusing to jostle his aching ankle. "I always thought you were the epitome of awkward. You talked too much, or too little, or about things you didn't understand. You flail around a lot in a frankly jerky way that's basically the exact opposite of Magnus' luxurious movement. But, after all of this, I can actually admit that you're not as bad as I assumed. I mean, it's still bad, but it's not that off-putting. An easy medium of awkwardness, if you will. Too much to be endearing, but not enough to be devastating, you know?" 

"And I always thought you were the epitome of an asshole," Simon retorts, lip curling up just slightly. The sight of it makes Jace feel a bit better. 

"And?" Jace presses. 

Simon's smile curls up more. "Oh, I was right, you definitely are."

Jace reaches over and cuffs Simon over the head, tsking in disapproval. "Fuck you, I'm not that bad." 

"Nah," Simon agrees, humming softly when Jace swipes his hand back over his head, lightly stroking his hair. "I'll give you that. You're actually mostly okay. Too layered to be just a prick, but not nice enough to be misunderstood." 

"I'll take it," Jace murmurs distractedly, watching Simon's expression slowly dissolve into peaceful contentment as he continues running his hand over Simon's hair before dragging back down in a loop. 

"You gonna keep petting my hair?" Simon asks, opening one eye to peer at Jace. 

"You're not complaining," Jace says defensively, bristling at Simon's teasing smile. 

Simon shrugs and practically turns into a limp noodle, dropping his head to Jace's shoulder and leaning most of his weight on him. "Feels nice, so I don't have anything to complain about. Besides, I just had a nightmare about killing everyone I love, so let me have this." 

"Figured it was helping," Jace mumbles, feeling awkward all over again, but it's not so dreadful this time. Simon's more at ease, at least. 

He knows it would be kinda messed up if he stopped now, so he continues running his palm back and forth over Simon's hair. It's strangely soothing, and Simon's weight against his side makes him relax for reasons he can't identify. A comfort thing, most likely. And Simon looks so utterly blissed out that Jace finds the calm reaching out to wrap him up too. 

So, yeah, he's not the best at comforting, not usually. But he figures he manages well enough now. He even lets Simon fall asleep again, leaning against him, without complaint. 

It's not even awkward. 

It carries on like that for awhile, not a hiccup in the system. Jace's ankle gets worse before it slowly starts getting better. He gets to shower, eat, and change six more times. Simon--much to his relief--gets that same privilege thrice, though he eats as many times as Jace does. They're both in grey clothes, both settled into the center of the cell, and neither one of them have a clue what the fuck is going on. 

It's disorienting, is the thing. 

They have no sense of time. No sunshine, no moonlight, no clock. They sleep when they're tired, taking turns to keep watch. They get fed in a regular patterns, Jace gets his accommodations more often than Simon does, and they don't see Valentine at all. 

Outside of his ankle, Jace thinks the worst part of this situation is boredom. He's restless, itching to get out, to do something. Simon's in the same state, if not worse. He can't seem to ever be still and he talks more and more as time passes, like his brain might actually implode if he isn't doing something, even if it is just endlessly talking about whatever crosses his mind. He sings a lot too, which is better--Jace won't actually admit it, but still. 

With nothing else to do, they talk to each other. Usually, it's just light subjects. Funny stories Simon has from his years before the Shadow World ever sucked him in. Anecdotes Jace has locked away when he needs a smile, mostly about his antics with Izzy and Alec in their younger years. Or, sometimes, they just talk about what the others are doing in that moment, but that usually gets depressing, so they don't linger on it long. 

They spend a good chunk of their time just trying to work out why they're in the situation they're in. Why Valentine hasn't been around, why they're being mostly taken care of, why nothing has happened. They bounce theories back and forth between them like playing tennis, trying to chip away at whatever plan Valentine must have. It doesn't work, but they do try. 

And then, there are moments where things get heavy. It's inevitable, Jace knows. Stuck in a situation like this, nowhere to go, relying on each other...it can't really be helped. 

Simon's really bad about it. He gets really sad sometimes and it makes him introspective. He'll talk softly, letting out things that Jace is pretty sure he's only admitting to because he thinks he's going to die. They're secrets, mostly. Secrets about how he feels, about Clary, about being a vampire, even about small things that don't really seem to need secrecy--things like the fact that Simon used to pretend to be sick to avoid school when his mom went on a bender, just so he could take care of her. 

Jace learns things about Simon that he really wishes he hadn't. And not because they're bad, or gross, or horrifying. No, he wishes he could forget them because it makes Jace sympathize with him, understand him, like him...and above all else, know him.

Jace knows him.

It's lying if he tries to deny that he's not just as bad. Sometimes, he just gets swept up in the moment. Things get so somber, so daunting, and he lets out his own secrets, possibly for the same reasons as Simon. Other times, he talks about things he probably wouldn't simply because he doesn't want Simon to do it alone, because it keeps things from being awkward, because it always seems to make Simon feel better. And, as much as he tries to avoid it, he lets things slip just because he wants to, because it feels good.

It's nice to be known. Every single part, just laid out for someone else, and they give the same in return. 

And they fight. Oh, how they fight. Arguments that shut down quickly, or stretch out to unbearable limits. Screaming matches that leaves Jace's skin hot and itching with anger and pent up frustration. Hissed insults that settle between them heavily, words too harsh to just be swept away. Silent treatments, bickering, and one notable time, a shoving war that descended into huffs of annoyance. 

But they can't avoid each other, can't just up and walk away. The most they can do is turn their backs to each other and stay silent. They do that a lot, but it never really lasts. They break the tension with a question, or a joke, or a few snippy words that eventually taper off into calm conversation. Their apologies don't deserve to even be called that, as they rarely actually say sorry.

They're stubborn, but somehow, they find common ground. Weirder things have happened. 

Such as…the Moving Mountain. 

That's just... strange. There isn't another word for it, Jace knows. The Moving Mountain is as rough as ever, and it still doesn't talk, but it does listen. 

The first time it came into the room and just stood there, they both went silent and still, waiting. When it became clear that it wasn't going to do anything but observe them, Simon slowly started talking to it. The weird part is...it tilted its head and just listened? 

It never replies, or emotes, but it does listen. When Jace asks not to be yanked around by the rope, it starts tying his hands together and leading him out, going patiently slow as he hobbles. When Simon asks for the muzzle to be removed from the room, it takes it out. When Jace and Simon talk amongst themselves, it comes closer to the cage and looks between them, colorless eyes flicking between each of them as they speak. 

It's just... odd. 

All in all, Jace knows one thing for sure. Everything about this situation could be a lot worse. 

And he's right. 

He's so very right, as it turns out. 

Chapter Text

"I'm still worried about you getting injected."

Jace stares up at the ceiling of their prison, chest expanding slowly before sinking in as he dispels all the air from his lungs. He remembers a lesson from training, a way to retain calm, even if he gets nervous. Relaxed breathing; in through the nose, pause for three to five seconds, out through the mouth as calmly as possible. It's supposed to be noted easily by what part of the body is moving with his breathing--chest is a sign that he's not relaxed, but from the abdomen suggests that he is. 

Jace is ninety-five percent sure he hasn't breathed in a relaxed fashion since Simon's fangs pierced his wrist. In that moment, his stomach had swelled like a balloon as he felt as relaxed as he ever would. 

"Don't you think I'm worried?" 

"You're not exactly acting like it," Simon mutters warily, moving his knee to the side to knock into Jace's. "I'm pretty sure it's a priority." 

Jace tilts his head to the side, looking first at Simon, then at his ankle with a pointed expression. "Yeah, because I'm in any position to do something about it right now. Maybe it wasn't anything." 

Simon arches an eyebrow. "You were injected with G- who knows what, and you think it wasn't anything? Jace, come on, don't be stupid."

"Says the idiot," Jace replies sharply.  

"Don't call me that." Simon turns his head away, leaving Jace access to only the side of his face, unable to miss the bitter twist of his lips. 

"Well, maybe don't be an idiot, and I wouldn't--" 

"Jace, seriously, don't fucking call me that." 

There's a pause as Jace snaps his mouth closed, the seriousness of Simon's tone reverberating in the dome of his skull. He sighs. "Fine, I'm sorry. I won't call you an idiot again." 

"Good. Don't." 

"Can I...ask why?" 

Simon looks at him with most 'how fucking stupid do you have to be' expression that Jace has ever laid eyes on, and he's Alec's parabatai, so that's really saying something. And yeah, okay, that makes sense. No one wants to be called an idiot, but still. 

"Right, lemme just allow myself to--" 

"No, that's not what I meant. You seem especially averse to that word, so what happened?" 

"I'm not… Look, I know I seem super nerdy and smart, but that's just--that's stereotyping. Do you really wanna know what kid I was in school?" Simon sits up, expression turning into determination, like he's steadfast in explaining this. "I'm smart, okay? Really smart. My mind just doesn't-- It's not like most people's. It goes so fast, doesn't focus, and constantly hyper-fixates. You wanna know why I was gonna be an accountant? Because I was quick at math, not because I was great at it." 

"Simon," Jace says slowly, "I'm not actually--" 

"No, I was that weird kid in school. I was the one who doodles and daydreams, and teacher's never called on me to read because it took me forever to get through a paragraph." Simon doesn't appear to be slowing down, his speech gaining in speed and intensity as he stares out at the bars that keep them trapped together. "I talked too fast, or too much, and had zero brain-to-mouth filter, which--when you're surrounded by terrifying peers who judge you for every little thing--was basically social suicide. It didn't matter that music was the only thing that I ever felt connected to and could do without ever getting bored with it. No, it only mattered that I was like a bumblebee buzzing around, bumping into shit mindlessly, and looking like a dumbass as I tried my best. Everyone thought I was a fucking idiot, and so did I… But I'm not."

Simon looks like he's about to start ranting again, so Jace reaches out and grasps his shoulder, making him jump slightly. "Hey, I'm not-- I don't mean anything by it, you know that, right? I don't actually think you're an idiot; it's more of a generalization to explain your, uh, fumbling." 

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what they all were doing, just trying to slap a sticker of what the hell my fumbling was. You wanna know what it is? It's called ADHD and anxiety, Jace. That doesn't make me an idiot; it just makes me different." Simon's lip curls up in blatant anger. "Which, to most people, is basically the same thing, I guess." 

"Okay." Jace drops his hand and nods, watching Simon scowl at the floor. "Okay, I was wrong. It's something that bothers you, and it isn't exactly good to do, so I won't do it again." 

Simon reaches down and fiddles with his shoelace, heaving a sigh. "Sorry I jumped down your throat like that. It's just--well, you're basically the poster guy for all the people who ever shit on me in school. I mean, Clary was always there for me, and she never cared about me being a paranoid, flailing mess, but she wasn't my entire life either." 

"I don't care that you're a paranoid, flailing mess either, Simon," Jace muses softly, offering a quick smile when Simon looks over at him in slight surprise. "Seriously, I don't. In fact, I don't really care that you're literally who you are. Because that's all there is to it, man. You are you, and not everybody will like it, but as long as you're cool with it, then who gives a fuck?" 

Simon stares at him. "Is that what you do? Just like yourself enough to care that others might not?" 

"Well, I mean, in some ways...yeah. In others, not so much." Jace huffs a short laugh. "It's complicated. Got a lot of issues of my own." 

"I could never understand," Simon murmurs, focusing on his bent knees, wrapping his arms around them and curling into himself. "I thought that everyone was just faking when I was really young. Just assumed that everyone was different like I was, or in their own ways. And when you're that young, it's not so bad. But when you grow up and everyone's trying to fit in, expect that's impossible for you, it just feels like the whole world is playing a prank on you. Calling you an idiot to hide that they're all as weird as you." 

"Kinda true, I suppose," Jace tells him, humming slightly when Simon lays his head over on his knees and gazes at him. "Yeah, you'd be surprised the shit you see people do when you're invisible. Everyone's got the shit they're weird about, Simon. Take Alec for example, right? He acts tough and tried to pretend he was this good soldier that he was taught to be, but really...he's just a guy who loves bows and arrows, was just brave enough to fall in love with the High Warlock of Brooklyn, and still has to sing his ABC's to know what letter comes after G." 

Simon snorts. "You're fucking joking me." 

"I'm not," Jace assures him, lips twitching. "And Izzy? Dude, all these men think she's just some object of sex, or this badass chick that they want to be pushed around by just to say that they were. But really? She loves science to a worrying degree, especially gross things like bacteria or rotting corpses, and she still has all her stuffed animals on her bed--which she genuinely feels bad for knocking off in the middle of the night." 

"Okay, that's pretty fucking funny," Simon says with a snort, lifting his head to eye Jace. "And you? I mean, you're exposing your siblings, so you might as well do the same to yourself." 

Jace purses his lips. "Okay, fine, but not many people know this, so keep it to yourself. Every time I sit down with my legs crossed, I still--only in my head, of course--think of criss-cross applesauce." 

"Wait, seriously?" Simon asks with a wide grin. 

"Sometimes, I forget which direction North, East, West, and South is. I used to struggle to say cinnamon and still slip up sometimes. I have a sort of fixation of my own which might freak you out just a little, but I try to name the demons I'm fighting before I kill them. Only to make them seem less dangerous, though; naming them things like Bob, Tim, Sheldon, or Rudy. I also let Izzy braid my hair sometimes when she gets sad. I once tried to kiss Alec on the forehead after a really tiring battle and missed, ending up kissing him on the nose instead. We, uh, never actually talked about it." 

At this point, Simon is wheezing. With each sentence, he laughs harder and harder, clutching at his chest like he actually needs to breathe. It makes Jace want to sit here and tell every weird thing about himself, just to hear Simon nearly choke on laughter. 

"That's--that's amazing. Wow. Just...wow." 

"My point is," Jace says quietly, making Simon's smile slowly slips away, "we're all fucking weird. And we're all idiots." 

Simon's smile hasn't quite disappeared yet, and it stays put. "Yeah, maybe so." 

They sit there and smile at each other, the point made. Jace realizes a little belatedly that what he just did was a bit...soft, but it's one of those moments that are too important to feel embarrassed about. 

Before the smiling can reach a worrying degree, the Moving Mountain opens the door and comes lumbering in, its stride slow. They stop smiling and turn to watch it approach the cage and stop, doing that weird watching thing again. It does this a lot, just comes in and observes. 

"Oh boy, here we go again," Jace mutters, the casual atmosphere deteriorating. 

Simon clears his throat and straightens up, focusing on it. "Hey there, big guy." 

The Moving Mountain tilts its head. 

"Simon, maybe we shouldn't be talking to the very thing that keeps us locked in here," Jace mumbles. 

"Oh, hush," Simon tuts in disapproval, flapping a hand carelessly. "I'm sure it's just Valentine's pawn. Maybe it can help. Hey! Yeah, you. Is there any chance you know what went in Jace's neck when you injected him?" 

The Moving Mountain grunts and stalks a little closer, head tilting the other way. It reaches out to touch a bar and hisses, "Sick. He sick." 

"Holy fuck, it can talk," Jace blurts, jolting forward with wide eyes. "Wait, I'm sick? I'm fucking sick?" 

"No." The Moving Mountain doesn't have lips, so some of his words are distorted, but there's no mistaking the shake of his head. "He sick. He sick!" 

"Valentine," Simon guesses immediately. "You're talking about Valentine, right? He's sick? How is he sick? Where?" 

The Moving Mountain doesn't reply, but he does lift one massive hand and tap it to his temple, making his point very clear. 

"Yeah, he's sick in the head, alright," Jace agrees. 

"So, Jace is okay?" Simon asks, waiting for any reply and getting none. "Okay, that's--it's fine. Is Jace sick? Is he dying?" 

The Moving Mountain hisses in open distaste and slaps the bars with a sharp clang. "No! No die!" 

"Yeah, I feel ya, buddy," Jace mutters. 

Simon shoots him a flat look, then turns back to the Moving Mountain with a roll of his eyes. "So, can you tell us why you come in here and watch us? Are you observing for Valentine? To see if whatever that injection was has any effects?" 

"See. See you," it says, the words grinding and rough, not quite perfectly executed, but it's got the spirit. 

"See...us," Simon repeats slowly. "You come in here to, what, see us?" 

The Moving Mountain grunts in a vaguely positive affirmation, so they take that as a yes. 

"Why?" Jace mutters in plain confusion. 

It tilts its head again, then slowly lifts one hand and slowly moves it back and forth between them, gesturing to the both of them. Jace and Simon share a slow look of blatant disbelief. 

"Are we--do you like watching us?" Simon blurts out, eyes going wide. 

"Like a personal show," Jace says slowly, eyebrows crumbling together. "Oh fuck, we're your--your fucking entertainment. Like pets!" 

"Well, that's disturbing as hell," Simon notes, looking slightly unnerved. His expression slowly turns thoughtful. "Or, I dunno, maybe it's kinda endearing? A little degrading, yeah, but it clearly likes us. That's gotta be a good thing, right?" 

"Simon, your optimism is truly relentless." 

"Well, at least one of us is trying to be positive!" 

"Oh, I'll fucking show you positivity. I'll have you know that I'm--" 

Neither of them seem to notice--as they get lost in bickering once again--the way that the Moving Mountain lets out a pleased rumble, closely resembling a purr, and appears to be entirely happy with the very sight of them. 

Simon's sad again. 

Jace knows this because he wakes up to him singing a soft croon that can only be described as melancholic. For a long moment, he doesn't move, just listening to Simon as he sings. Despite what he'd said, Jace actually thinks that Simon's good--either because it's all he gets to hear now, or because Simon's actually good, he doesn't know. 

"Don't you ever sing about rainbows and unicorns?" Jace grumbles as he stretches out, wincing as he carefully rolls his ankle. It's getting better, but it's not back to normal just yet. 

Simon sighs. "I think you were right." 

"Usually am." Jace sits up and scans Simon's face, noting the drawn sadness there. "What was I right about this time?" 

"I'm going to have to move on," Simon murmurs, giving absolutely no backstory to that statement. "I can't keep holding on forever. Maybe if I actually just...stop, I'll be happier for it." 

"Okay…" Jace draws out the word and lifts both eyebrows. "You're going to have elaborate." 

"Clary," Simon replies. 

"Ah," Jace says. "So, what made you decide this?" 

Simon gives half a shrug. "Kinda hard to cling to someone if they're not around. I miss her so much, but I don't-- It's not the same, you know? The longer we're not together, the less I want to...be with her. Do you know what I mean?" 

"You just want your best friend back." 

"Yeah. Yeah." 

Jace reaches out and pokes Simon's knee, making him look over. "You look so guilty, man. Stop it. If loving her isn't making you happy, then let yourself move on. If all she is to you is your best friend, then embrace it. Doesn't mean you wasted your time, or missed an opportunity; it just means you learned a valuable lesson." 

"I feel like being in love with her is a part of me. Like a personality trait or some shit. Simon Lewis, musician, forever anxiety-ridden vampire, in love with Clary Fray, most kidnapped." 

"Oh, please. It's never too late to change. Reinventing yourself is the point of living. You're supposed to evolve as a person, or else you haven't experienced a damn thing. It's what we do. Cut our hair, kiss a stranger, try out new styles until we find our favorite, and do the things we never thought we could. If you're not doing that, you're missing out." 

A smile lift happens at the corner of Simon's lip, and the sight of it warms Jace's chest. "Yeah?" He flicks his gaze over Jace's entire body. "So, what, you did some of that stuff?" 

Jace grins. "Eh, sorta. Never said I practiced what I preach, but I did cut my hair when I was fourteen. We don't talk about it because it was a huge mistake. Otherwise, yeah, I do some of that stuff."

"You mean to tell me that you weren't born wrapped in leather?" Simon jokes. 

Jace shrugs. "Knowing me, probably." 

"I think it would be weird to fall in love with someone else," Simon muses, pursing his lips. "It sounds like a bad idea, actually." 

"Yeah, that's a terrible idea. Try some flings; it'll change your life." 

"I'm not really a fling type of guy. I like relationships, dating, the whole shebang." 

Jace nods. "Yeah, okay, whatever floats your boat." 

"You don't?" 

"I mean, I would if there was someone I actually fell for. There was Clary, but that went to shit really quickly. Probably not my forte." 

"Oh, come on." Simon eyes him seriously, shifting around so he can lean forward. "You never had anyone like that before Clary?" 

"No, not really. I considered Alec for a split second, but decided not to get into that for a number of reasons. Don't tell him that, by the way," Jace says sharply, pointing at him in warning. 

The spark dies in Simon's eyes instantly. "Don't worry about that. I doubt I'll ever get the chance." 

Jace opens his mouth to protest, because he's not standing for that shit right now, but before he gets the chance, the door bangs open. He looks over, fully expecting the Moving Mountain to come in with his usual lipless grin--one that's slowly becoming less creepy, oddly enough. However, it isn't what walks through the door. 

No, Valentine does. 

"Perceptive, isn't he?" Valentine says, nodding at Simon to indicate who he's talking about. "For an abomination, you certainly have the sense to parse out that you'll soon be dead." 

Jace is on his feet in seconds, ignoring the twinge of protest his ankle gives. "So good of you to show up. I was beginning to suspect that you'd forgotten about me, but hey, no surprise there, father." 

"Oh, hush," Valentine chides lightly, shaking his head as he shuts the door and slowly approaches the cell. "I've had some errands to run. The Lightwoods and your sister say hi, by the way." 

"What did you do?" Jace grits out. 

Valentine smiles kindly. "Wouldn't you like to know? It must just drive you insane not to know what's happening outside of this prison. They could be dead for all you know." 

"Alec isn't," Jace shoots back instantly, using the only knowledge he has. 

"Oh, no, he isn't," Valentine agrees. "He may as well be, however. Losing the love of your life tends to do that to a person, and trust me, I know. Why he'd love that Warlock, I won't ever understand, but I've done him a favor." 

Simon slowly stands up and breathes out, "Magnus."

"He's a liar, Simon, don't listen to him," Jace snaps, eyes following Valentine's every move. 

"Oh, I only lie about the things that need to be lied about." Valentine slowly reaches down to his waist, his hand falling to the hilt of a sword. Agonizingly slow, he unsheathes it, revealing the Soul Sword. He stares at Jace and smiles. "For example, telling you that Clarissa is your sister was a lie." 

Jace freezes. "What?" he chokes out. 

"You are my son, Jace, but not biologically. A half-lie, technically." Valentine swings the sword through the air, his smile as calm as ever. "I needed you to believe that, you see. She was a distraction from your mission, the very mission I gave you." 

"I loved her, you sick fuck!" Jace bursts out, shoving himself forward to bang against the bars. "You're fucking lying, you--" 

"I am not, and we all know it," Valentine cuts in sharply, smile dropping. "The Soul Sword allows only the truth. She isn't your sister, you were never injected with demon blood, and Jocelyn isn't your mother. No, you were the one who would activate the Soul Sword, and you did." 

"No." Jace jerks back from the bars, jolting when Simon grasps his arm. "No, I--I didn't--" 

"Against your will, yes, but you did." Valentine frowns at him, looking faintly annoyed. "I was thwarted before it could take full effect, but many Downworlders were killed in the process. That's a win in my book." 

"You're a fucking maniac," Simon shouts, anger lacing his voice, fear making his words shake. 

"Perhaps to some," Valentine allows. He sheathes the sword again and fishes in his pocket for something, eyes never wavering from Simon. "But I didn't come here to discuss the merits of my mission. No, I figured it was time to handle you." 

"Leave him out of this," Jace growls. 

Valentine pulls out what appears to be a small remote control. "That defeats the whole purpose of taking him, doesn't it? I'm going to show you how monstrous he really is. Light is the purest thing in this world, yet he cannot survive it."

"If light was a measure of monsters, you'd be forced to dwell in the shadows forever," Jace spits, glaring at Valentine, even as his heart starts racing. 

"And yet." Valentine smiles a thin-lipped smirk, pointing the little remote to the ceiling and pushing a button. "We shall see who remains pure." 

Jace tilts his head back in time with Simon, listening to the sudden sound of whirring mechanics. The ceiling starts sliding backwards, revealing glass that sunlight immediately pours through. Simon releases a small sound of distress, and Jace automatically goes into motion, forgetting all about his not-father. 

"Get down!" Jace shouts.

Quickly and without warning, Jace snatches Simon in front of him and shoves him into the corner of the cell farthest from the increasing gap of sunlight. He gets to see Simon gaping at him, tears clinging to his eyelashes, but he doesn't waste time dwelling on it. Jace shoves Simon down, pushing at him until he's practically a ball in the corner, as small and tucked in as he's going to get. Then, Jace sinks down in front of him and wraps around him as much as possible. 

It's the most they've ever touched. Jace's whole torse covers most of his front, his legs are bent on either side of him, and his hands are wrapped clear around him, holding him as tight as possible. He has to knock his chin on the top of Simon's head to get him to tuck his face towards his knees, and once he's done that, Jace presses his forehead to Simon's cheek and just breathes. 

There shouldn't be any skin showing. Jace dreads the sunlight anyway. He goes still and waits, breathing heavily as his heart gallops away in his chest. Simon has one fist balled into the front of Jace's shirt, holding on for dear life, and he's trembling violently. 

"Say hello to Clarissa, she's watching," Valentine sing-songs from far too close, like he's crouching down right outside the bars they're up against. 

Jace risks a quick peek, flinching at the phone in his face. He knows that Clary is on the other side, that she's watching her best friend come face-to-face with death, her not-actual-brother doing his best to shield him. He can't hear her; maybe Valentine has the volume down. Not wanting Simon to know for sure that Clary's actually watching, Jace tucks his face back down and doesn't let Simon pick his head up. 

Valentine lets out a soft laugh, sound pleased in a sickening way, and Simon vibrates in Jace's arms.

The heat approaches. Jace can hear the ceiling clicking away as it slowly slides back farther and farther. A part of him aches for sunshine, but a much larger part would ache for Simon. And as he feels the warmth slowly crawl up his back, he goes tense and wills it away, subconsciously willing to live in darkness forever if it meant Simon gets to live. 

"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay," Jace breathes, digging his fingers into Simon and clenching his eyes closed. Sunlight kisses his hair, moving over him at a leisurely pace, and all he can do is repeat his mantra like it could actually be true. "S'okay, Simon, I got ya. It's okay, it's--" 

"Jace," Simon blurts, head popping up with surprising speed, eyes wide. 

They come nose-to-nose, eyes boring into each other, and Jace can't move. Sunshine dances across Simon's face, lighting his eyes to a truly beautiful honey undertone. His lips part like he can taste the sun, like the essence of light has quenched his thirst, and he looks so in awe that Jace is sure his heart stops at the very sight of him. 

"What?" Valentine hisses. "What!" 

Jace pays him no mind. "You're okay," he whispers, blinking slowly. "You're okay." 

Simon slowly uncurls his hand from Jace's shirt, letting it rise from the darkness trapped between their bodies. He dances his fingers in the sunshine, waving it through the air, watching the light glide over his skin harmlessly. He gives a soft laugh. With a bright grin, as bright as the first feeling of sun after so long in the dark, he reaches up and touches Jace's cheek, like he wants to feel the sun in every way possible, even from Jace's very skin. 

"No!" Valentine bellows, scrambling up from the other side of the cell. He gives the phone a harsh toss, careless as it splinters into pieces against the wall. "No. No! This isn't--this doesn't--" 

Simon drops his hand and starts to stand, careful like he's partially still afraid, and he helps drag Jace up, taking some of his weight. "Looks like I'm pure after all, asshole," he says forcefully, leaning towards the bars, gazing at Valentine balefully. 

Without another word, Valentine turns on his heel and stomps out, slamming the door behind him.

Chapter Text

"Jace." 

"Shut up." 

"Jace." 

"Shut up. Don't. Just--don't." 

Simon heaves a sigh. "You're not going to be able to reach it. Get up off the floor and--" 

"Got it!" Jace shouts, squirming back immediately. He tugs his sore arm back through the bars, holding the small piece of phone up like a trophy. "Okay, we've got to go. Now." 

Simon blinks. "Holy shit. Okay, awesome!" He darts to the door, then pauses. "Wait, what's the plan?" 

Jace hurries to the door, reaching around to shove the piece into the lock. "Well," he grunts as he wiggles it around, "we have to get out of here. Valentine is pissed that you didn't actually die, so now he's going to kill you. It's now or never." 

"Yeah, okay, great. So, uh, how exactly how are we going to do that?" Simon asks nervously. 

"We just fucking run. We have to avoid the Moving Mountain at all costs, and if the chance prevents itself, tear Valentine's head off." Jace crouches down and grimaces as he tries the lock again. "Oh, and don't get killed in the process, please?" 

Simon huffs. "Yeah, that's definitely my goal, Jace. Hurry up, Valentine's heartbeat is slowing and--" 

"Got it," Jace says again, pausing to toss Simon a satisfied little smirk. "You never believe in me." 

"Oh, shut up, show-off," Simon mutters, rolling his eyes. "Come on, let's go." 

"No idea where to go, but avoiding the heartbeat is a good start," Jace whispers as they creep towards the door, oh so slowly cracking it open. 

Simon doesn't reply, but he does take the lead with a nod. Jace wishes with everything in him that he had a weapon, but all he has is a vampire with no training, a smarting ankle, and the will to survive. 

It's no surprise that it goes to shit quickly. 

Whatever building they're in has the simplest layout ever. A bathroom at one end of the hallway, a room with a cell in the middle, and the entrance at the other end. And, of course, a small office off to the left right before they get to the entrance. An office that just so happens to not have a door. An office that holds all that they wish to avoid. 

Valentine notices them immediately and scowls in open annoyance. "Seriously? Do you think I'd actually let you leave? Get them." 

And sure enough, the Moving Mountain comes forward from the corner of the office, hissing in a way that suggests he's very, very pissed off. They're too far from the door to make a run for it, so they backtrack. They get maybe two steps back before it ducks out the doorway and faces them. 

"Hey there, big guy," Simon says nervously, an anxious little laugh making its large head tilt to the side. "Sun's getting real low…" 

"Are you fucking joking?" Jace hisses, grabbing him by the shoulder. 

Valentine leans out the doorway, the Soul Sword held in his hand. "Kill the creature, leave the Shadowhunter alone." 

"Wait, no! Hey, no," Jace says quickly, flinging his hands up to the Moving Mountain. "Hey, no need for that, right? We've been here with you, stuck just as you are. Valentine doesn't care about you, okay? You're nothing more than his servant. I know you listen to us, so listen to us." 

The Moving Mountain tilts its head farther, but slows its steps. 

"Jace, what are you doing?" Simon hisses. 

Jace elbows him sharply. "Got a plan." 

Valentine scoffs. "Don't even try it. Do you think that thing has any intelligence? It's nothing more than my creation, meant to serve only me." 

"Do you see? He's using you," Jace says, still holding his hands up as it comes to a screeching halt. "We don't want to use you, or hurt you, and we won't. We just want to leave." 

The Moving Mountain swells as it takes in a deep breath of air. It lets out a hiss and takes another step forward. "No. No leave!" It growls, words broken around gravelly hissing. 

"Great, you pissed him off!" Simon yells, stumbling back as it starts picking up its pace. 

Jace flings his hands up higher. "Okay, okay, we won't leave! Not--not without you. How about that? Do you want to come with us?" 

The Moving Mountain stops again. 

"Get them, now," Valentine orders, holding the sword up as he steps into the hall. "You can't leave, and if you don't kill the vampire, you can't live!" 

The Moving Mountain blinks fathomless eyes at Jace, then slowly turns around, focusing its attention on Valentine. Growling, it hisses, "Leave. I leave!" 

The reaction is immediate. For all Valentine's madness, he's scarily aware of betrayal, and he knows when he's lost one of his own. Without mercy or care, he swings the sword in a high arc, cutting through the Moving Mountain's thick neck in one fell swoop. It disintegrates pretty much instantly, revealing Valentine's placid expression. 

"No!" Simon shouts, sounding truly gutted, and weirdly enough, Jace feels the same. 

It's just instinct at having lost someone (something?) they have a strange attachment to. Without any indication of what the other is going to do, they break apart and rush Valentine from both sides. He can't defend himself from them both, and he certainly isn't faster than an angry vampire, so he doesn't really stand a chance. 

Jace rips the sword from his hand while Simon slams him against the wall forcefully. Before Valentine can so much as try and fight back, Jace has the sword tip pressed threateningly to his throat, holding him in place. The disbelief in Valentine's eyes is quite honestly enough to keep Jace going for awhile. 

"Funny, isn't it?" Jace snaps, glaring at him. "How quickly things can unravel?" 

"Over a damn beast," Valentine spits, lip curling up in disgust. 

Jace just blinks at him. "Not quite." 

"You know," Simon puts in, leaning forward to pin Valentine with a righteous smirk, "Frankenstien was always known as the monster, but what people don't remember is that Frankenstein was the doctor, not what he created." 

"Simon, I'm sure that's actually a very fitting reference, but neither of us know what the fuck that is," Jace informs him, shaking his head. "Do me a favor and help me get him to the closest vehicle."

Simon snorts. "My pleasure." 

Valentine is heavy once he's knocked out and tied up more securely than a mummified corpse. But Jace steals his stele and activates some runes, relishing in the rush of power he hasn't felt in so long, and it's easy to chuck him in the trunk of the little car that waits right outside of the entrance. 

"Keys?" Jace asks, jingling them at Simon as he waits by the driver side. 

Simon catches them with one hand and a satisfied smile as he opens the door. He pauses before sliding in, tilting his head back towards the sky, looking endlessly pleased about the sun on his face. It's with a calm sigh that he slides into the car and starts it up. 

"I can't believe we're going home, both of us, and with Valentine in the trunk," Simon says as he drives them down a long, winding dirt path. 

"And the Soul Sword in the backseat," Jace puts in casually, too relieved to bite back a small smile of his own. "Any idea where we are?" 

"Not a clue. Is there a map in the glove compartment?" Simon asks. 

Jace opens it and digs through, smile growing when an outdated smartphone falls out right into his palm, as if it was meant to be. "I'll do you one better. We have GPS." 

"I fucking love modern technology." 

"So, it looks like we've got a long drive. Four hours, to be exact. You up to it?" 

Simon snorts. "Don't have much of a choice. You can't drive." 

"How hard can it be?" 

"Wrong answer. I'll be fine." 

Jace hums and leans the phone against the gearshift, watching the time go from 3 hours 48 minutes to 3 hours 47 minutes. "I think we're both fine now." 

"Yeah," Simon agrees. "It was getting pretty bleak there for a moment. What's the date?" 

"Oh," Jace coughs out, staring at the screen of the phone as he drags the menu down to reveal the current date. "We were there for nearly three whole weeks. 19 days." 

"Jeez," Simon mumbles, grimacing. "In some ways, it felt longer. In others…" 

Jace doesn't need Simon to elaborate. He knows exactly what he means. "I wish I could call to tell them we're coming."

"Don't have Alec's number memorized?"

"Do you have Clary's?" 

Simon jolts as if he's been slapped. "Shit, Clary. Jace, she's not--you two can...be together." 

"I'm not so sure of that," Jace murmurs, turning to look out the window, watching the blobs of green from the trees whip past. "I messed up." 

"How? Last I checked, you and Clary were only weird because of all the, uh, feelings. It doesn't have to be weird anymore, right?" 

"I didn't mess up with her, I messed up with you." 

Simon tosses him a quick look of blatant confusion, clearly not following. "How?" 

"I know how you feel about her," Jace says softly, watching Simon's face in the reflection of the window. "Even if you are moving on, you haven't done it yet. And you're not just some guy who gets on my nerves anymore." He pauses, evaluating the words that just fell from his lips, then immediately works to backtrack. "I mean, you are, but--" 

"Holy shit, Jace Whatever-your-last-name-is actually follows bro code?" Simon leans forward and stares out the windshield. "Are pigs flying?" 

"First of all, I may not know what bro code is or what it has to do with pigs flying, but I know when I'm being mocked," Jace bitches, huffing. "Secondly, don't bring up the last name situation right now; I'm just as confused as you are." 

Simon bursts out laughing, smiling wide as his head tosses back for a brief moment. Jace feels his lips tug up in response. "Wow, Jace, you're in a really good mood, aren't you? Okay, lemme make it better. Feel free to be with Clary if you want. I was serious about moving on. And hey, I won't even make it weird." 

"I don't know," Jace says simply, because he doesn't. 

"That's fine," Simon replies calmly. "Let me know when you figure it out." 

Jace smiles at Simon's reflection in the window, not hiding it at all. "You'll be the first." 

They make it to the Institute just as the sun sets. 

Simon seems sad to see it go, but he perks up when they pull up to the curb and cut off the car. Valentine is awake, muffled shouts sounding from the back, and Jace finds gratified pleasure in hearing it. 

He sends Simon to go get everyone, not willing to leave Valentine alone at all. As Simon darts away, Jace gets out of the car and stretches, staring around at the landscape. It's all so nice. Even the air feels different, fuller and cleaner. He really has missed being outside, being free. 

"Jace!" 

Ah, but he's missed his family more. 

With a grin he can't contain, he ushers forward, opening his arms just as Izzy barrels into them. She cradles the back of his head, smacking a kiss on his forehead, her relief plain on her face. He lets her touch him, lets her hug him unnecessarily tight, and he inhales deeply, relaxing into the faint smell of her regular perfume. 

"Holy shit, I've missed you," Jace breathes out, smiling at her as she beams at him. 

Alec quickly takes her place, leaning in and down to give him a shorter--yet, no less intense--hug. He claps Jace on the side of his neck, looking as if the world just gave his poor shoulders a break. It's obvious how tired they are, how little sleep they've gotten, how acquainted with worry they've been. 

"We knew you were alive, but--but…" Alec trails off, swallowing thickly. 

Jace squeezes his shoulder. "Hey, I know. It's okay. Everything's good now." 

"I'll say," Clary says, marching forward with Simon trailing after her with a faint smile. "Jesus, you two can't do that ever again!" 

Before Jace can really defend himself or Simon, she slams into him and hugs him. He rolls his eyes at the others over her head, but indulges her dramatics. When she pulls away, she clears her throat and takes two solid steps back, averting her eyes. 

"What's wrong?" Jace asks. 

Clary frowns. "I--I saw what you did for Simon. We all did. We were watching when--well. Thank you, Jace, seriously." 

For a moment, he doesn't really understand why she's thanking him. Because--and here's the thing--he didn't do it for her, or for anyone, really. He'd just done it because...well, because he wanted to. For himself, in a way. Because it was the right thing to do, because Simon matters, because Jace wasn't going to just sit by and do nothing. 

It hits him then just how odd that must be. To be fair, as far as everyone knows, he doesn't actually like Simon. He's not so sure if that's true anymore, but he is sure that he doesn't have to examine that. They're free to stay away from each other again, so Jace can go on not having to think too hard about Simon. Still, he is slightly offended that she doesn't think he's the type to save someone, anyone, if it's the right thing to do, despite any history he may have with them. 

"Yeah, it was--yeah." Jace's gaze finds Simon's and they share a quick smile. "But enough of that. We're fine, everything is fine. In fact, things are great. You won't believe what gifts we brought back." 

Alec releases a weary sigh. "Unless you've brought Valentine and the Soul Sword, I don't think I have the energy to care."

"Well, as a matter of fact," Simon speaks up happily, breaking away to come stand by Jace. 

"No way," Clary breathes out, eyes going wide. 

Simon grins at her. "Yes way, Fray. Say hello to our little friend!" 

With that, Simon darts away to the trunk and waves them over. No one has to be told to draw their weapons; they just naturally do it. Jace opens the door to the backseat and grabs the Soul Sword, handing it to a baffled Alec. While he grips it, Simon flings open the trunk and stumbles back warily, though he doesn't actually need to. Valentine is still wrapped up tightly and looks very pissed off by that fact. 

"How did you two manage to do this while being kidnapped?" Alec asks, flicking his gaze between them in open surprise. 

Simon flaps a hand casually. "Not much to do in prison besides plan. Well, that, and break an ankle." 

"Not much planning, actually," Jace counters, shooting Simon a flat look. "There was a sacrificial mountain and Valentine got too cocky, that's all." 

"Yeah," Izzy mutters, "because that explains it." 

"Too soon, Jace, too soon," Simon scolds. 

Jace holds up his hands. "Fair enough. It will be missed. I think?" 

"Jury's still out on that one," Simon replies with a snort, eyes crinkling as he grins. 

"Well, you've both apparently went insane," Clary says with a quiet huff of laughter. "Why don't we get Valentine handled, let you two get settled, and then head out for celebratory drinks? Everything worked out for once, and honestly, I could do with some alcohol in my life." 

"That's probably the smartest thing you've ever said, Clary," Alec murmurs, ignoring her offended huff. 

"Yeah, I'm not going to say no to that," Izzy agrees, turning to Simon and Jace expectantly. "Are you both coming? We all have so much to talk about." 

Simon nods quickly. "Yeah, I'm definitely in." 

Jace smirks. "Have you ever known me to turn down a drink? I'll be the first at the bar." 

The resounding laughter warms Jace to his core, and he looks at Simon again, sharing a secretive smile. For this one moment, every single thing feels worth it, and he can't find it in himself to regret one thing about being kidnapped in the first place. 

Simon appears to be on the same page. 

Chapter Text

Jace lasts two days before he has to come to terms with the fact that he actually fucking misses Simon. 

He avoids it for as long as possible, not really sure what the feeling is at first, but he can only ignore it for so long. Even with being busy with Valentine and reacquainting with his family, Jace still finds time to come head-to-head with that strange, hollow yearning in the pit of his chest. It usually hits him late at night when he's supposed to be sleeping, when the mattress feels too soft after sleeping on concrete for the better part of a month, when he finds himself waiting to fall asleep to humming. 

It's a new feeling. Jace has missed people plenty, usually in the moments when he's in danger, or they are. He'd missed Izzy when she went on a week-long trip to Paris. He'd missed Alec right after their Parabatai ceremony, when the feelings were at an all-time high and so intermingled that he almost grieved when they weren't in the same room. He'd missed them, and Clary, when he'd went with Valentine the very first time. 

He's never actually missed someone who was perfectly safe and accessible. And he's certainly never missed Simon. 

Jace has absolutely no idea how to deal with this. 

Fortunately, he doesn't have to. 

When the third day settles into night, just as Jace is getting ready to crawl into his bed, there's a knock on the door. He heaves a deep sigh and moves to the door, fully intending to send away whoever is on the other side. He's just getting back into the swing of things, running on little sleep, and slowly but surely becoming less and less surprised when he opens his eyes and finds himself not locked away. All he wants to do is brush his teeth four times in a row, ice his nearly-healed ankle, and attempt to get at least a couple of hours of sleep. 

However, the moment he opens the door to reveal Simon, all of that goes out the window. That grating feeling of missing someone soothes itself almost immediately when Simon's face lights up with a smile he can't seem to stop. Jace, thankfully, has a bit more control--meaning he doesn't smile, but he can't conjure a scowl either. 

"Simon," Jace greets casually, leaning against the door and eyeing him curiously. "To what do I owe this displeasure? Haven't I seen enough of you to last me a couple of lifetimes?" 

Simon's smile falters. "Oh. Sorry, I was just-- Forget it. Um, I'll just--" 

Jace watches him take a step back, his eyes averted, and he inwardly groans. Outwardly, he clicks his tongue and mutters, "I was joking, Simon. Seriously, what's up? What trouble are you in now?" 

"None, really," Simon tells him with a nervous laugh, his fingers twiddling with the strings of yet another hoodie. It's nice not seeing him in grey, almost as nice as not having to wear it. "I mean, I can go out real quick and cause some chaos if that'll give me access to hang out with you. Because that's why I'm here, I guess, to--to just...hang out. If-- I mean, if you're feeling up to it, and you actually want to. But if you don't...well, you don't, and that's fine too. Just--" 

"By the Angel, get in here," Jace cuts him off, cringing at the awkward fumbling of his words. He steps back and waves a hand to the side, raising his eyebrows when Simon just stares at him. "Well?" 

"In--in there?" Simon stutters, peering cautiously into Jace's room like it's actual hell. "I was just going to suggest we go for a walk or something." 

"I'm already dressed for bed, if you hadn't noticed," Jace replies dryly, still waiting. 

Simon's eyes flick over his loose t-shirt and joggers, gaze lingering just a little too long. "Yeah, it's kinda hard to miss," he admits with a sheepish smile. 

Jace rolls his eyes. "So, if you want to hang out, then it's going to be in here, where I can stay comfortable. Unless...you want to wait until tomorrow." 

"No, this is fine," Simon says quickly, ducking into Jace's room without any more hesitation, eyes scanning the room curiously. 

Jace waits until Simons back is to him to release the small smile tugging insistently at his lips. He closes the door with a soft click and gets his face under control before padding over to his bed and flopping down, back against his headboard. Simon doesn't spare him a glance, slowly walking around the room to peer at all his stuff, picking up pictures to examine them, lightly tapping the training tools with obvious confusion. Jace simply watches him. 

"You missed me, didn't you?" Jace asks blandly, smirking when Simon jolts and looks at him with wide eyes. 

When Simon sees the amusement on Jace's face, his own expression melts into sheepishness. "Was I that obvious? Sorry, I just-- It's taking a little getting used to. I promise I'm not being weird on purpose." 

"It's an adjustment," Jace allows cryptically, not elaborating any further. "Let me guess, you can't sleep that much? Feel weird on an actual bed? Not used to hearing only your own breathing? Wake up expecting to be back in the cell?" 

"Yeah." Simon releases a soft sigh of relief, his shoulders drooping as he moves over to flop onto Jace's bed, sitting at the end with his back to the wall and his legs sprawled out in front of him. "G-- Shit, it's so stupid. I mean, I'm okay, I know I am. It's just...weird now." 

"We adapted to our situation," Jace says easily, shrugging one shoulder. "Now, we have to adapt all over again. Easier said than done, I know." 

"You struggling too?" 

"I'm fine. Just adjusting, like I said." 

Simon pauses and turns his head to the side, lips twitching as he gazes at Jace. "You missed me too, didn't you? Go on, tell me; I know you did." 

"What's to miss?" Jace retorts with an arched eyebrow. 

"Liar," Simon mumbles, shaking his head. 

"So, you came here to fish for compliments, and what, get on my nerves?" 

"That's the dream, to be honest." 

Jace snorts. "And that's it?" 

"Dunno. Depends." Simon bites his lip, looking uncertain for a moment. "Did you ever tell Clary that she's not your sister?" 

"No." 

"Are you going to?" 

"I...don't know," Jace says carefully, chewing on the words as his mind turns them over. He glances down at his duvet, lips tipping down. "There's no awkwardness anymore, so I guess all it took to solve the problem was getting kidnapped. I'm not even sure if I want to tell her. Doesn't matter. Valentine probably will. He wants to talk to me and her alone before being escorted to Idris." 

Simon's eyebrows raise. "And they're letting you?" 

"It's the only way he'll talk," Jace mutters, wrinkling his nose. "He said he'll come clean about everything, cooperate with everyone, if--and only if--he gets to talk to us. So, really, that's the only option." 

"Why don't you tell her before he gets the chance? That way she won't be blindsided?" 

"I don't know, Simon. Maybe I don't want her to fucking know, okay?" 

Simon jerks back, eyes wide. "Jeez, I was just asking, calm down. Before you bite my head off, do you mind telling me why? Do you even know why?" 

"No, not really," Jace admits. "That's the problem. By all means, I should want her to know, but I just--I don't know what will come of it." 

"Shoot your shot, man." Simon leans forward and clears his throat, staring at his intertwined fingers with a small frown. "You, uh, do love her, right?" 

Jace is silent for a long time, mulling over that question for the first time since he learned he was allowed to love her. Does he? Fuck, he doesn't even know anymore. If he does, he'd jump at the chance, wouldn't he? Yet, something continues to hold him back, like they're not really meant to be after all. 

Maybe it was screwed from the start, or maybe he just doesn't allow himself nice things. And there's a chance that he just...likes what they have now, possibly more than what they had before. This is easier, no mess, more solid. 

She's family, and that's perfect. 

Jace lets out a deep sigh and says, "I love her, probably always will, but it's not-- It isn't the same. I kinda like how it is now, you know? It feels less like a struggle and more like peace. I think I actually fucked around and moved on while I wasn't paying attention, which sounds like me." 

"Nothing wrong with that. I mean, she might be a little sad, or maybe she feels the same. But since you're on the fence, I can tell you this; I have a sneaking suspicion that she has eyes for Izzy, even if she doesn't realize it yet." 

"Wait, really?" 

Simon bobs his head. "Yeah, I think so. I mean, I can't be sure, but it seems that way to me. Could be wrong though, so don't let that stop you if you do want to go for it." 

"What about you?" Jace arches an eyebrow at him pointedly. "How's moving on going for you?" 

"About as well to be expected. She hugged me when I got back and I almost cried." Simon's face flickers through a variety of strange expressions very quickly, and he tilts his head. "But that could be just the best friend thing. Still confused as ever, so it looks like things are back to regular scheduled programming." 

Jace can feel his face softening, much as he tries to fight it. "Try dating, that might help." 

"Yeah, because that's such an easy thing to do. I'm not like you, Jace. I can't just flash a killer smile, bat pretty eyes, and then have people falling at my feet. It's not that simple for me," Simon scoffs. 

"We have established that you have pretty eyes, so don't give me that bullshit," Jace says firmly, relishing in the immediate smile that takes over Simon's frustration. "Come on, it's not that hard. I'll have you know that I don't really date, okay? I just ask people if they're interested in some fun, and if they are, we have a grand old time." 

"So, you're telling me that you, the undeniably hot Jace Whatever-your-last-name-is, have been rejected at some point?" Simon asks doubtfully. 

Jace wrinkles his nose. "I have been, yes, but never twice in the same night. It's all about knowing your targets, that's all there is to it." 

"Yeah, but I don't want a one-off. Casually dating? Yeah, that's fine, but not just sex." 

"So, just ask someone out on a date. If they say no, move on. If they say yes, well, there ya go." 

"Okay, but I'm not going to just ask a stranger out! I have to actually like someone," Simon explains seriously, reaching up to run his hand through his hair, clearly riled up all over again. 

Jace hums, crossing his arms over his chest and eyeing Simon. That sentence runs through his head over and over, playing on a loop that seems to have no end. An idea starts to form in the midst, like the calm in the eye of a storm, and Jace is contemplating that idea before he even knows what it is. 

"Take me on a date." 

And this is why Jace isn't a fan of awkwardness, because it catches. Like a communal disease, it infests those far too exposed, and Jace's immunity to it has been severely weakened. So, here he is, blurting stupid shit out without much thought, and he suddenly remembers why he and Simon don't mesh. 

"Wait, what?" 

Too late now. The words are out there, and it'd be even more awkward if he tries to backtrack. His only option now is to follow through. 

"Yeah, you heard me," Jace says with a lot more bravado than he feels. He holds Simon's stunned gaze. "You need to move on and want a casual date, I should probably figure out if Clary is it for me. We can help each other out. Plus, you like me, even if I only like you half as much. And I'm never going to say no to free food." 

"You're asking me to...date you?" Simon asks carefully, staring at Jace like he's grown a second head. "Out of convenience?" 

Jace shrugs. "Yeah, why not?" 

"Because it could go wrong in a lot of different ways, messing up the already shaky friendship we have going on here. Just to be clear, I want to actually date someone, Jace. I'm talking about going on dates, holding hands, kissing, taking pictures, all of that. You understand that, right? Because I know that's not really your thing." 

"Hey, fuck you, I know what dating is. And I'm not opposed, or whatever. Could be fun, plus it'll keep me busy. Also, don't worry about that shit. When I say casual, I mean casual." 

Simon makes a small sound of frustration. "Our definition of casual may not be the same. I want to be exclusive. No cheating." 

"I don't cheat," Jace snaps, huffing in offense. 

Simon purses his lips. "And I'll want to tell people, Clary included. I don't do dirty, little secrets." 

Jace rolls his eyes. "Oh, please. I don't know what version of me you have in your head, but I'm seriously not that fucking bad." 

"Okay, yeah, but it could end terribly." 

"Nah. It's as simple as honesty, right? If you want to stop, or aren't enjoying yourself, or can't move on from Clary...then you just fucking tell me. And the same in reverse." 

"And what if one of us gets invested?" Simon challenges, waving a hand like he's just ended the whole debate. "What if one of us falls in love, but the other doesn't?" 

"A risk, yes, but that's a risk for everyone who dates. At least we'll go in knowing that it probably won't last and is just for fun." 

"Shit, you're actually serious." 

Jace rolls his eyes. "Well, I'm not fucking with you about it. Seriously, I am not that bad. And you know you can just say no, right? It'd probably be better if you did, actually." 

"Probably," Simon agrees. He chews his bottom lip and eyes Jace with a curious glint to his eyes, like he can't help but wonder. "So, when are you free?" 

Jace snorts. 

"Where are you going?" 

Jace glances up from his mirror and smiles at Izzy, who is grinning at him knowingly. "Got a date." 

"I can tell," Izzy says, nodding at him. "You always clean up so nice when you're getting laid." 

"Har har, you're so funny," Jace mutters, looking back in the mirror to flick his hair back into place, pleased when it stays where he wants it. "And I'm not getting laid, I'm actually going on a date." 

Izzy's eyebrow jump. "Oh, really? You're disbanding book club?" 

"For the time being," Jace confirms. 

"Wow, she must be great. Who is she? Do I know her?" Izzy asks, her heels clicking as she walks into his room, staring at his reflection. 

Jace turns to face her. "It's Simon." 

Izzy blinks. "Simon? Simon Lewis? Our Simon?" 

"Well, as of tonight, he's mine," Jace tells her playfully, "but yeah, the very same." 

To her credit, Izzy doesn't linger on shock very long. Just enough to cough and tuck away the disbelief in her eyes. "Well, good for you?" 

"Should be," Jace says. "We'll see."

"So...what happened between you two while you were imprisoned?" Izzy asks curiously. 

Jace grins at her. "Wouldn't you like to know?" 

Okay, so maybe he's having a little too much fun with all of this. He has to force his laughter down as he sweeps out of the room, leaving Izzy standing there, alone and visibly confused. Why Simon worried that he'd keep this quiet, he'll never know. Teasing people with it is much more fun, and more like him too. 

He stalks down the hall, heading towards the door where Simon is supposedly waiting, according to his short message. When he rounds the corner, he finds that Simon had been telling the truth, only he's not exactly alone. Alec is standing beside him, looking bored as Simon jabbers on about something, and Jace has to bite back a laugh as he approaches. 

"Oh, about time," Alec mutters as soon as he catches sight of Jace. "Simon's apparently been waiting for you, did you know?" 

Jace nods. "I did. Thanks." 

"Where are you going?" Alec asks curiously, just now looking his outfit over.

"Wherever Simon takes me," Jace replies, shrugging shamelessly. He focuses on Simon. "Where are we going?" 

"Uh, two different places," Simon says, eyes flicking between Jace and Alec warily. 

Alec arches an eyebrow. "Something for a mission?" 

"Nah," Jace tells him, "we're dating." 

Simon abruptly breaks out into a coughing fit. Alec's other eyebrow joins his first. 

"Seriously? What about book club?" 

"Disbanded for the time being." 

"Ah." Alec looks between them, expression slowly jumping between curiosity and disbelief. "So, you two are actually...going out on a date?" 

Jace nods. "Yup." 

"Simon?" Alec asks, focusing on him like he can't trust his literal parabatai's word. 

Simon smacks his chest and gives a weak nod, eyes watering. "Yeah, that's--yeah." 

"On purpose?" Alec checks. "Willingly?" 

"Yes, Alec, and the longer you stand here bothering us about it, the longer we have to wait. Can we go, or do we have to get your signature in blood as proof of your approval?" Jace snips, rolling his eyes. 

Alec snorts. "Whatever. Have fun." 

"Thanks," Jace says, reaching out to snag Simon's shoulder and literally drag him outside. 

Simon smacks his hand away, huffing and tossing him a look of betrayal. "What the hell was that?" 

"What? You said you wanted people to know!"

"Well, yes, I did, but--" 

"Why, Simon, are you ashamed of me?" Jace gasps, putting his hand over his heart and adopting a hurt expression. 

"Oh, fuck right the fuck off," Simon snaps, turning on his heel and walking away. "I'm just saying, some warning would be nice!" 

"Is this our first fight as a couple?" 

"You're going to be insufferable about this entire thing, aren't you?" 

Jace grins at him as he matches his pace. "Well, yeah, but I'm also going to let you kiss me whenever you want, so who's the real winner here?" 

Simon freezes on the steps as Jace continues on, not missing a beat at all. In the distance, he can see the flash of Clary's hair, resembling a flame, and he wonders how telling her would go. She'd probably be just as shocked as everyone else, if not more. A part of him wants to see her reaction, but he figures that Simon will want to talk to her about it himself. 

"Wait," Simon calls out, stumbling down the steps and rushing after Jace. "Whenever I want?" 

Jace looks back at him and snorts. "Wow, you're too easy. Yes, Simon, that's what I said, isn't it? You say you want a kiss right then, you get one."

"Seriously? As easy as that?" 

"We are dating, right? People who date kiss, don't they? I'm not saying we get naked and have our way with each other; it's just a simple kiss." 

"Jace! Simon!" 

Both of their heads snap up to see Clary waving at them from across the lawn, her smile visible despite the distance. She's technically on patrol, but it's clear that she's heading towards them. Jace lifts his hand in a casual wave and smiles. 

"Right now," Simon says. 

Jace drops his hand, head whipping around to stare at Simon. "Right now? As in, right now?" 

"That's what I said, isn't it?" 

"Well, you're stubborn as fuck, aren't you?" 

"Yep," Simon agrees without missing a beat, gaze flicking towards the steadily approaching Clary. "So, are you going to kiss me or not?" 

"You should know, Simon, I always follow through when I make promises," Jace tells him, turning to face him fully and stepping closer. "And you are a lot less innocent than you pretend to be." 

Simon huffs a low, nervous laugh. "Yeah, maybe, but I'm young. I'm supposed to be a little wild and make rash decisions, right?" 

"This is a bit much, even for you." 

"Maybe. Kiss me anyway." 

"Well, you asked for it." Jace shrugs and steps forward, watching Simon's eyes go wide with surprise, licking his lips in anticipation--or, more likely, a sign of how nervous he is. "You sure this is how you want to do this?" 

Simon clears his throat, throwing one more look at Clary, who isn't actually too far off now. "Yeah, why not? What could possibly go wrong?" 

"Guess we'll find out," Jace mutters.

Jace steps forward yet again, this time stopping right in front of him, and Simon's eyes somehow get even wider. "Holy shit, you're actually going to--" 

"Mhm," Jace confirms. 

And with that, he reaches up to cradle Simon's cheeks, leaning in without any hesitation. He gets to hear Simon's sharp inhale before their lips connect briefly, a simple press of mouths. It's a curious thing, kissing someone he never actually considered kissing before this very moment. Not bad… just new. 

Simon goes tense for about half a second, then relaxes with a little curious hum, allowing the kiss to unfold without interference. It's a learning curve, Jace supposes, because kissing has always been easy for him. Just a simple press of mouths, perhaps some soft movement, and the more intricate parts of making out can come later. Still, it is a kiss, and the thing is, it's actually quite nice. 

When Jace pulls back slowly, leaving with a quick nip to Simon's bottom lip to spice things up, Simon blinks open his eyes and stares at him with furrowed brows. "Do you have to be good at everything?" 

"Yeah," Jace replies with a chuckle. "I'm pretty sure it's in my genetic makeup." 

"What the fuck?" 

And Jace is suddenly reminded that they have an audience of one. He doesn't remember forgetting Clary, but he's starkly reminded as she stalks up to them with wide eyes. She looks so confused, and Simon looks as stunned as she must feel, clearly just now coming to grips with what just happened. But hey, technically he brought it on himself. 

"Hey," Jace greets casually. 

"You two just--you were kissing. I saw it," Clary blurts out, just daring them to deny it. 

Jace nods, appeasing her. "Yeah, it was a thing." 

Clary looks between them. "Yes, I saw. Again, what the fuck? Why were you kissing?" 

"We're dating," Jace informs her, because Simon clearly isn't going to say anything. 

"You're--you're dating?" Clary sputters, head swiveling so she can focus the intensity of her gaze on Simon. "Really? And you didn't tell me?" 

"Uh," Simon says. "Well, it's...really new." 

Jace hums in agreement. "Yeah, that's actually true. We're going on our first date right now." 

"So. Okay, wow. That's-- I mean, I guess stranger things have happened." Clary's attempt at getting her wits about her falls a little short, but she's got the spirit. She clears her throat. "So, this is because you two were alone together for so long, right? I mean, you two probably got close over time." 

Jace and Simon share a quick look. 

"You could say that," Simon answers carefully. 

Clary stares between them some more, her head tipping to the side as she considers them. "Well, whatever makes you happy, I guess. I sure as hell didn't see it coming, but it's kinda... cute?" 

"Cute?" Simon mutters, frowning slightly. 

"Yeah, I mean--sure." Clearing her throat again, Clary gestures over her shoulder. "I, uh, should probably get back to patrols. You two have a nice time on your...date." 

With that, she turns on her heel and walks off, shaking her head in a dazed fashion. They both watch her walk away, then exchange an uncomfortable look. 

Well...that went better than expected. 

"She's gonna be so pissed that you didn't tell her that she's not actually your sister," Simon comments quietly, wincing in sympathy. 

Jace sighs. "I know. And she's gonna be so pissed that you didn't tell her we're dating." 

Simon scoffs. "Still almost can't believe it myself." 

"Yes, because I just kiss everyone who asks." 

"Hey, man, I'm not telling you how to live." 

Jace snorts. "Oh, shut up. This relationship is about to end really quick if you don't actually take me out. We have a date to get to, remember?" 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Simon mutters, rolling his eyes as he starts in the direction of his van. 

"So, what are we doing, anyway?"

"Tell me, Jace, what do you know about Laser Tag?"

Chapter Text

Jace is sitting in the Institute at table with Izzy, Alec, and Clary, listening to them banter back and forth, adding his input regularly, when his phone vibrates on the table. Like vultures, the other go quiet and focus on his phone, while Jace just rolls his eyes. 

"Hello?" he answers, ignoring the others as they lean in to listen without an ounce of shame. 

"Come over," Simon says, by a way of greeting. 

Jace sighs as the others exchange looks. "Kinda busy here, Simon." 

"Busy, as in the world is ending busy, or just lamely busy?" Simon asks cautiously. 

"Just lamely busy, if you must know." 

"Okay, great. Drop whatever you're doing and get your ass over here, please and thank you." 

"Can I eat in peace?" 

"We're dating; I am your peace." 

"Now, who's being insufferable?" Jace mutters, rolling his eyes when Alec shakes his head. 

"Hey, fuck you, you're the one who started this. Now, come on, seriously. I got you gummy bears." 

"Is that supposed to entice me?" 

"Technically, I'm supposed to entice you," Simon retorts sarcastically. 

"Yeah, well, you suck at it." Jace watches Clary and Izzy's eyebrows both go up in sync. "What do you want, Simon?" 

"A nap, to be honest," Simon replies instantly. 

Now, that entices Jace. "What are you suggesting?" 

"A nap date?" 

"Is that a thing?" 

"I'm pretty sure it is, and if it isn't, it should be. I'll put on a movie and we can pass out for a few hours. Are you coming or not?" Simon asks with a huff. 

"Yes, dear," Jace says, lips twitching against his will as he pushes his plate back. "I'm on the way." 

Simon hums his approval. "Great, see you then." 

The phone goes dead, so Jace stuffs it into his pocket and scoots his chair back as the others watch him like a hawk. They're clearly not going to let him get out of this without some commentary, so he doesn't stand. He sighs and opens his hands, waving them pointedly, and waits. 

"So, you and Simon, seriously?" Alec blurts out immediately, leaning forward. 

Jace nods. "Yes. I wasn't joking three days ago when I told you, and I'm not joking now." 

"This is so... bizarre," Clary murmurs, looking as if she got hit in the head with a blunt object. "You two used to fight over me, and now--now my best friend is dating my brother. What even is my life?" 

"Well, I'm stuck on the fact that Jace is actually in a relationship. Like a serious relationship. Dates, leaving us to go to him, kissing--if Clary's information is actually true," Izzy says playfully. 

"You and Simon kissed?" Alec blurts, nose wrinkling. 

"Yes, Alec, that's a thing that boyfriends do, last I heard. If you and Magnus aren't there yet, you should probably jump on that," Jace tells him, lips spreading into a mocking grin. 

"Wow," Izzy breathes. "This is amazing!" 

"You're all ridiculous." Jace rolls his eyes for what feels like the hundredth time and pushes to his feet, scooping up his plate. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a nap-date I'm weirdly excited about." 

"You're napping together?" Clary lets out a shocked laugh, her smile widening. "That's so domestic, and cute! Okay, this just gets better and better." 

"I hate all of you," Jace says without missing a beat, pushing his chair back in and walking away. 

"Love you too!" Izzy calls after him. 

He shoots them the bird over his shoulder as he goes, biting back a grin at their resounding laughter. 

Jace makes it to Simon's little boathouse in record time, and it isn't until he walks in that he reconsiders pretty much everything. Simon's laid up on his bed, arm propped up behind his head, eyes drooped sleepily, and he has the worst case of bedhead that Jace has ever seen. He looks so... soft.

"This is a bad idea," Jace blurts out the moment the realization strikes. 

Simon blinks up at him. "What is? Napping? Dude, we slept next to each other on concrete for the better part of a month, I think we'll be fine." 

Well, he makes a valid argument. So, when Simon pats the open spot beside him, Jace heaves a sigh and swoops down to remove his boots. His ankle no longer hurts at all, thankfully, so there's no pain to worry about when he starts over to the bed. 

"Scoot over," Jace mumbles, putting one knee on the bed and getting ready to flop face-first into the mattress the moment the space opens up. 

Simon frowns at him. "Jace, you can't sleep like that. Take off your jacket." 

Jace huffs, but does as he's told, letting his newer leather jacket hit the floor behind him. "Happy? Now, move the fuck over." 

"I'm not. This is my bed, and you have plenty of room. Just get up here and go to sleep." 

"Fine." 

"You're so dramatic when you're tired," Simon says, snorting when Jace flings himself into the open spot at his side and immediately sighs in relief. 

"Fuck off," Jace retorts sleepily, squirming until he gets fully comfortable. His entire arm rests along the line of Simon's, warm skin against cool. 

Simon chuckles. "Will you sleep better if I hum?" 

"I'll sleep better if you shut up." 

"That's not technically a no." 

"Shut up," Jace grumbles, letting his eyes shut as he crosses one leg over the other. When Simon goes quiet, he heaves yet another sigh. "Yes, I'll sleep better if you hum. And you'll sleep like the dead if you tell anyone that, because you'll actually be dead." 

"You're a great boyfriend," Simon tells him flatly. 

"Why did we agree to date again?" 

"Because we're a little insane." 

Jace snorts. "Yeah, fair enough." 

Simon doesn't reply, but he does start humming, which is much better. Jace can feel sleep closing in almost instantly, like he's got some Pavlovian response to the gentle croon of Simon's sleeping routines. It's such bullshit. All of it is, actually. 

But...Jace falls asleep before he can fully understand why everything he's doing with Simon is a bad idea. 

***

Talking to Valentine goes horribly, as anticipated. 

It's basically a session where Jace and Clary get to try their hand at being Valentine's personal verbal punching bag, but what else is new? He does try to sway them to his side, and he fails. As usual. 

Jace does ask one pressing question on his mind, however. Leaning forward, he peers at Valentine and quietly murmurs, "I was injected with something, but nothing ever came of it. What was it?" 

"I'd been experimenting on a serum that puts people in a state of fear and panic." Valentine tilts his head, eyes narrowing. "Whatever did your mind conjure up to send you spiralling?" 

Turns out, the Moving Mountain was right. Valentine is sick in the head. 

"I heard...screaming," Jace says slowly, eyebrows furrowing. "I felt helpless." 

Valentine nods. "So, it did work. With some tweaking, the effects could last much longer." 

"You did that to your own son?" Clary spits, so utterly disgusted that it's impossible to miss. 

And that's pretty much where it goes to shit, because Valentine's face lights up as he slowly turns delighted eyes on Jace. "Oh, you didn't tell her?" 

"Shut up." Jace grits his teeth. "Just--just shut up." 

"Tell me what?" Clary asks warily, eyes widening. 

"I can't imagine why you wouldn't have mentioned it? After all, you wanted to be together, didn't you? Unless… Why Jace, don't you love her anymore?" 

"Jace, what's he talking about?" 

Swallowing thickly, Jace clenches his jaw and averts his eyes, but Valentine clearly finds glee in filling in Clary's missing gaps. "Oh, my child, Jace isn't truly your brother. I raised him, yes, but he's not my biological son." 

Clary inhales sharply. "What--no, that's not-- Jace, is this true?" 

"It is," Jace confirms softly, slowly raising his gaze to watch her flinch back as if she's been slapped. "He admitted it while holding the Soul Sword, when he couldn't lie." 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Clary whispers. 

"Don't you get it, dear Clarissa?" Valentine taunts, his smile sickeningly pleased. "He doesn't want you anymore. He'd rather you live in discomfort, believing that you once craved your brother, than face the chance that you might actually want to try being together again." 

"No," Jace denies firmly, facing Clary's gaze head-on with a determined glint in his own eyes. "No, that's not it, and I swear it. I didn't tell you because I didn't know how. We just got on common ground again, and we seemed...happier. I didn't want to ruin it, or us." 

"You should've told me," Clary croaks, blinking rapidly to dispel the tears forming in her eyes. 

Jace nods. "I know. I'm sorry." 

Valentine laughs, maniacally pleased, and Clary looks away. Properly feeling like shit, Jace stares at his boots and waits for this to be over. 

It doesn't last much longer, fortunately. Valentine seems content with the rift he's created between them, so the process speeds up. After one great speech that's nothing more than bullshit, Valentine doesn't have much else to say.

Jace leaves before Clary does, avoiding her gaze, shame rocking him solidly to his core. He doesn't want to be here anymore, not at the Institute, not around Clary, Alec, or Izzy. He just wants to get away and be left alone to his own thoughts, maybe with a couple of drinks, or five.

So, he goes to the Hunter's Moon, not caring that it's only half past one in the afternoon, not feeling an ounce of shame when he walks in and immediately makes a beeline for the bar. Maia isn't working at the moment, but he's pretty sure her shift will start soon. Maybe he can be carting a full buzz by then, that way he won't care as much when she verbally kicks him in the balls--not that he doesn't deserve it. 

The bartender passes him his drink and quickly walks away, like most people do when they see the scowl he doesn't have any control over. 

Simon is not most people. 

Meaning, he--of course--walks in before Jace can even take one swallow of his drink and immediately recognizes him. Seeing as they're technically dating, that makes perfect sense, but the moment Simon sidles up next to him, Jace wishes that they weren't on speaking terms at all. 

"I take it the talk with Valentine didn't go as smoothly as you hoped?" Simon asks knowingly, sitting on the stool next to Jace, their elbows knocking as he adjusts himself. 

"Nope" Jace replies in a clipped tone. 

Simon is silent for a beat, then he releases a quiet sigh. "Clary found out, didn't she?" 

"Yep." 

"I'm not going to say I told you so, but--" 

"Simon," Jace cuts him off sharply, head whipping to the side so he can pin Simon with a glare, letting him know just how serious this is. "Look, I didn't call you here, okay? So, just leave me the fuck alone."

"I didn't know you'd be here," Simon retorts in offense, eyebrows dipping in annoyance. "I'm just here to see how Maia is doing. Not my fault that you came here to drown your sorrows." 

"Fuck you." 

"Oh, stop whining. You're literally dwelling for no reason! Clary will come around, she always does, so take the metaphorical tail out from between your legs. It's really not that serious." 

Jace twists fully in his seat, leaning forward to get in Simon's face. "Listen here, you little--" 

"Right now," Simon interrupts. 

Jace goes still, disbelief briefly displacing the anger flowing through him. "What?" 

"You heard me." Simon tilts his chin up, but there's a nervousness in his gaze. "Right. Now." 

Jace exhales deeply through his nose, jaw ticking to the side as he grits his teeth. Fine. Fine, if that's what Simon wants, he'll fucking give it to him. Without any tenderness, Jace shoves forward past the short distance between their faces, slamming his lips into Simon's without finesse. It's harsh, Jace knows that, and there's nothing attractive about the anger that he relays through the contact. 

Simon pulls back, eyebrows furrowing, and he lifts one hand from the bar, holding Jace's cheek to keep him from moving forward again. It takes a moment for the chagrin to hit, but once it does, Jace feels his face heat from his own guilt. 

"Sorry, I just--" 

"S'okay." 

It's really not, but Simon seems sincere. He offers a gentle smile and sweeps his thumb over Jace's cheekbone softly. Oh so softly, like it's special. Jace feels his heart squeeze in his chest when Simon blinks his pretty, brown eyes innocently and leans back in slowly, catching Jace's lips with his own. This kiss is a lot calmer and the longer it stretches, the sweeter it gets. 

Before Jace knows what he's doing, his whole body unclicks as the stress and anger seeps from him abruptly. He's so surprised by it that he grunts slightly, which Simon takes as encouragement, apparently. Hesitantly, he tilts his head for a better angle and moves his lips, urging Jace's to dance in tandem--an order he follows without meaning to. 

Obviously gaining confidence, or getting caught up in the moment, or both... Simon presses in closer and sweeps out his tongue. Jace's stomach swoops with it in sync, and it's with a sharp inhale that he tucks his head down, pulling away from Simon and averting his eyes to the bar. 

Okay, that had gotten a little intense. 

"Feel any better?" Simon asks casually, like nothing is amiss. He even smiles when Jace glances up. 

"A little." Jace clears his throat. "Thanks." 

Simon slaps the bar and stands up, holding one hand out to Jace in offering. "Come on, you don't need to drink to feel better. Come with me." 

"Where are we going?" Jace asks warily. 

"Wherever our feet take us. It'll be nice to get out and walk. Plus, I don't have to worry about my life with you hanging around."  

Simon waggles his fingers pointedly, eyebrows jumping in encouragement. Jace looks at the drink he still hasn't gotten even swallow of, and he lets out a deep sigh. Clamping down on his disappointment, he stands up and ignores Simon's hand, which only increases Simon's determination to hold it, because he's a stubborn fucker. Without a word, Simon drops the hand he's offering and interlocks it with one of Jace's, fingers slotting together. 

It feels...strangely nice. 

And besides, Jace is more focused on what Simon had just said. Hand holding is a thing couples do, so he has no reason to feel like someone who fumbles through physical contact--they've kissed, for fuck's sake. Twice!

"Why are you worried for your life, Simon?" 

"'Cause, ya know, I'm a vampire who can hang out in the sun. Saying that the others are jealous is an understatement. They want to know how I did it, and I'm not sure how far they'll go to find out." Simon sounds genuinely distressed, his hand tightening around Jace's in nervousness. "But don't worry, I won't tell them." 

Jace nearly falls over. "Tell them what?"

Simon starts tugging him from the bar, glancing around nervously. It isn't until they're outside and heading down the street at a calm space that Simon actually answers him. "Come on, Jace, it can only be one thing." 

"I'm not following." 

"Take a wild guess. It clearly wasn't something Valentine did, because he was shocked when it happened. No, I only was able to do it after I bit...you. But I won't tell anyone, I swear." 

"We don't know that's what caused it." 

"An educated guess. But no one will ever know. That'd put a big, red target on your neck, and I can't have my boyfriend being in mortal peril." 

Jace snorts when Simon shoots him a smile and starts swinging their hands back and forth. "Yeah, I'm real worried about that," he mutters dryly. 

"Well, today is all about forgetting your worries. So, whatcha wanna do?" 

"I wanted to drink, but you dragged me away from that, so it's on you now, sweetie." 

Simon grins playfully. "Dude, you so do not want to get in a pet-name war with me. I will win every time, I promise you. And you don't need to drink, okay? Why don't we just...go to the park and people watch? That's always fun." 

"What is it with you and disliking drinking?" 

"I don't dislike it when it's done safely, in a good mindset, and isn't something the people I care about depend on." 

A lightbulb turns on in Jace's mind. "Ah, this is about your mom." 

Simon's light smile disappears. "Who told--oh." He slows and checks both ways before tugging Jace across the crosswalk. "I was about to ask who told you that, but then I remembered that I told you that. Jeez, I was really airing it out in that cell, huh?" 

"Yeah, a bit. Also, you're deflecting," Jace informs him in slight amusement. "You do that a lot."

"Maybe it's harder to talk about my trauma out in the real world," Simon mumbles. 

Jace sighs and knocks his shoulder into Simon's, squeezing his hand briefly. "Fair enough. You don't have to talk about it at all. I think I get the gist. And if it'll make you feel better...I'll stop drowning my sorrows, as you put it." 

"Thanks," Simon says, visibly perking up at Jace's promise, automatically believing him. "You know, you're actually not that bad of a boyfriend. I was expecting worse, but you've been alright." 

"Alright? Alright? Simon, I kiss you on command. I better be a little more than alright," Jace tells him with a huff, watching Simon's smile stretch into that stupidly charming grin of his. 

"Yeah, well, I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Why are we dating again? It's just so strange." 

"We've been over this, it was out of convenience. You were lonely and wanted to move on, I was testing a theory and willing to be your guinea pig." 

"That sounds so horrible when you put it like that. But it's been...good, right?" Simon asks carefully. 

Jace shrugs noncommittally. "Sure. Why, do you want a review and a rating? Dating Simon, five stars." 

"Aw, I get five stars?" Simon teases, pulling Jace's hand up to his mouth and smacking a dramatic kiss to the back of his palm. 

Snorting, Jace replies, "You're so annoying. I really am a masochist if I agreed to date you." 

"Do you think the novelty will wear off?" Simon ignores his jab, preferring to drift closer to Jace's side, laying his head on his shoulder. "I mean, we'll probably look back one day and laugh about it, about the fact that we even did it. But for now...it's actually kind of comforting to have someone, to have you. I keep waiting for that to get old, to the point where I don't really want the comfort of it." 

Jace can tell that Simon's being serious about this, a vulnerable opening he hasn't shown since being imprisoned, so he bites back the mocking retort his mind automatically comes up with. Instead, he drops Simon's hand to loop his arm through his, allowing Simon the chance to lean into his side as they casually stroll along. 

"It's nice to feel wanted," Jace comments quietly, looking over at Simon's peaceful expression. "It's scary to want things." 

Simon chuckles. "Too true, too true. But I guess we kinda bucked the system, didn't we? Found the loophole, if you will." 

"Yeah," Jace agrees, "that's why it's...working." 

"I never asked, but now I feel the compulsion to do so, even if it could fuck everything up. I'm self-destructive as hell. But I'm gonna ask anyway," Simon mutters, clamping his hand down on Jace's arm as if he might bolt, which does jack-shit for Jace's nerves at the moment. "Did you even...want this? Me? I mean, I feel like you just jumped in to do me a favor or something, like--like maybe you're not getting anything out of it." 

Jace lets out a sigh of relief. "Oh, is that all? Trust me, Simon, if didn't want to do it, I wouldn't have." 

"You sure? I'm not exactly your type. Wait, am I?" 

"Are you trying to get me to be rude?" 

Simon huffs and smacks Jace's arm lightly, never lifting his head from his shoulder. "Come on, I'm being serious right now." 

"Fine. You're my type enough for me to let you kiss me, right? And if I didn't think you were attractive, the idea would have never crossed my mind." 

"Shit, I wish I had recorded that." 

"I thought we were being serious." 

Simon hums happily, seeming altogether more pleased than moments before. "You know what I think? I think that you agreed to date me just to have an excuse to be kinda nice to me." 

"Where's the logic in that?" Jace asks, lips twitching when Simon lifts his head and tugs them to the left, heading towards the nearest park. "If I wanted to be nice to you, I just would." 

"No, I think that you actually started to like me, because I'm a likeable guy--like I said--and you didn't know how to handle that. So, you decided to date me, knowing you'd have to be moderately kind to me in the process," Simon says with a nod. 

"Oh, is that what I did?" Jace's laughter bubbles up past his lips, and he lets it. "You're such a fucking dork." 

"Okay, conspiracy theory time." Simon stops them and leads them to an open bench on the sidewalk, placed beneath a large tree. It's in the shade, but they can still feel the warmth of the sun when they sit side-by-side. "Maybe you liked me all along! Maybe you have always been pretty fond of me, but you didn't want to admit it because we had our issues before, and you had a facade to uphold." 

"Wow," Jace murmurs, lips curled up willingly, amusement like a balloon swelling in his chest, "do tell me more." 

"Conspiracy theory number two; maybe you secretly wanted to be my friend from the beginning." 

"Hard pass." 

Simon snorts. "Three. Maybe you're trying to get me to like you, only to steal everything I own while I'm not paying attention." 

"You'd have to own anything of value for that theory to make even a moderate amount of sense." 

"Okay, you got me there. Four. Maybe this is all your elaborate plan to get me into bed." 

Jace waggles his eyebrows. "I mean, if you're offering…" 

"Oh, shut up," Simon cackles, flapping a hand at Jace playfully. "If that's actually true, you're doing a pretty shitty job at seducing me." 

"I don't seduce. People come to me." 

"I'm not people. Besides, I can't even imagine us having sex. That's just...weird." 

"Wow, you sure know how to make your boyfriend feel special," Jace retorts flatly. 

"What, no, come on!" Simon twists all the way around on the bench to stare at him. "Can you honestly say that you've pictured us having sex?" 

"I haven't, no, but it's just a couple of dicks," Jace tells him, snorting when Simon's face contorts at the phrasing. "It's not rocket science, Simon." 

"Fuck you, you know what I mean." 

"Yeah, I get it. Sex wasn't on my mind when I suggested the idea of dating." 

Simon hums, turning to face him with a curious expression. "What was on your mind?" 

In a rare moment of honesty, Jace turns to look at Simon and admits, "Nothing at all." 

"Oh." Simon's surprise softens into something sweet, something Jace finds comfort in seeing. "Well, that sounds about right for you." 

"Oh, yeah?" Jace challenges, leaning forward to gaze right at Simon from a closer vantage point. "What was on your mind when you agreed to it?" 

"Honestly?" Simon murmurs, like he's telling a secret, drifting forward too. "Not a fucking thing." 

"And now?" Jace breathes out, blinking slow. 

"Right now. I swear to--I swear, if you don't kiss me right now, I'm going to--" 

Jace indulges him, following the command effortlessly and with far too much relief, crossing the small distance between them to press his lips to Simon's. His eyes flutter shut, and he forgets every single thing that caused him strife today, forgets everything, in fact, except this one moment. 

Simon hums in approval and satisfaction, like maybe this was his plan all along--and maybe it was. Still, he seems to enjoy reaping the benefits himself; a thing that becomes clear as he scoots closer and allows the kiss to unfold slow and gentle. 

Jace has already forgotten what he was so upset about to begin with.

Chapter Text

Jace is just heading to bed when Clary comes barreling into his room with eyes wide with panic, her throat bobbing as she gasps out, "Simon, he's--" 

And Jace's heart stops for a solid twenty seconds as his brain tries to process what's happening. Not that Clary is actually providing much detail--all she can manage to convey is that Simon is in danger and they need to go now. 

It takes him no time to get back into suitable attire and head to the weapons room to finish getting ready. He knows it's bad when he sees Alec slipping his bow over his shoulder with a grim expression, a slight undertone of worry there. At first, Jace thinks the worry is for Simon, but as soon as Alec looks up and that worry deepens, Jace realizes it's for him. To prove that fact, Alec comes over with a carefully crafted expression of calm. 

"You okay?" Alec asks quietly, eyes flitting over Clary and Izzy as they slide into holsters and pick out their weapons. Right now, Alec's in parabatai mode, fully focused on being there for Jace. 

Jace swallows. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" 

"Jace…" Alec grimaces, his lips thinning out when it becomes clear that Jace isn't going to say anything else. "Alright, are you going to be okay out there?" 

And that's Leader Alec coming in to make sure Jace's head is screwed on straight. Again, Jace swallows and says, "Yeah...why wouldn't I be?" 

"Alright, we're good, let's go," Clary blurts in a rush, hurrying past them in a jog, her focus fully on her best friend and nothing else. 

As Izzy follows her, slipping past them, she squeezes Jace's shoulder in sympathy. 

He hasn't worked out why people are worried about him yet; he's fine. 

"Jace," Alec says softly, "are you--"

"I'm fine," Jace snaps, adjusting his gloves and forcing his expression into something more solid, no wavering or emotion allowed. 

With that, Jace marches after Clary and Izzy, ignoring Alec's sigh from behind him as he follows along. No one says a word as they head out. 

As it turns out, Simon had many reasons to be worried for his life. When they reach the back alley that Simon's cornered in, it becomes apparent that his gift of walking in the sun is quickly dissolving into a curse. He's surrounded in a circle of angry vampires; the sounds of their hissing loud and reverberating off the brick walls on either side. 

Clary wastes no time, simply flings a dagger through the air with all her might as Alec docks an arrow and Izzy cracks her whip. For a split second, just the barest of moments, Jace is paralyzed by the look on Simon's face--his fear melting into stunned surprise and gratified relief as he realizes that they've come to save him. Shaking the moment away, Jace pulls out his seraph blade and launches into the fray. 

The night is dark and dense, rain hanging by a thread over them, and Jace has to concentrate to see each target. Clary and Alec have already managed to separate the rogue vampires from Simon, blocking their path to him, and Jace works with Izzy to come from behind. As they cut them down, slowly but surely, the rain finally loses the battle and falls like the sky has cracked open to let loose all at once. 

In nearly no time at all, Jace's hair is dripping in his face, his leather jacket heavy on his shoulders, but he fights through it to the best of his rune-given abilities. The rain makes it more of a struggle, but they work as a unit to eradicate the angry group of vampires, spurred on by the threats they shout as they continue towards Simon with a one track mind. 

One manages to break around Clary, and Simon shouts as she shoves him against the brick wall, and Jace reacts on pure instinct. Without a thought in his mind, Jace ducks under Alec's raised elbow and jerks his blade through the vampire, her body glowing and disintegrating just as Izzy takes down the last one. 

Jace and Simon stare at each other, both panting. 

"Hi," Simon says breathlessly. 

Jace huffs a short laugh. "Hey." 

They stare at each other some more, not moving, rain pounding wildly on the concrete floor. The others finally relax and put away their weapons, but Jace barely notices, too focused on the way Simon steps forward, smile a little dopey, curly hair sticking to his forehead. He looks incredibly pale, and drenched, and pretty. Jace swallows. 

"Hi," Simon repeats in a low murmur, moving forward with an amused glint in his eyes. "I think right now is a great time." 

"Right now?" Jace raises both eyebrows, his heart picking up pace for seemingly no reason at all. 

Simon bobs his head. "Yeah, seems fitting. It's raining; I've always wanted to kiss in the rain. And I mean, you did just come rushing in to save me from danger with our badass group of friends." 

"Hey, you're the boss," Jace mutters, lips twitching as he reaches out to curl his hands into the sopping strings of Simon's hoodie and use them to guide Simon much closer. 

Close enough to kiss. 

Jace does just that, right now, as Simon had requested. Their lips briefly meet, but they immediately pull back as rain provides multiple problems they can't exactly avoid. Simon instantly looks put out by that--though, from the lack of kissing, or from the fact that kissing in the rain isn't as glamorous as its made out to be, Jace doesn't know. Heaving a sigh and rolling his eyes, Jace shoves his hair out of his face, quickly tugs his jacket off, and lifts it above their heads. Rain pellets the leather, but they're safe underneath. 

Simon grins and automatically dips back in to kiss him yet again. This time, it lasts for much longer, drawing out further than it ever has before. Jace actually mourns the fact that his hands are preoccupied with the task of keeping them dry, an itch in his palms making him wish he could reach out and touch. Simon, however, has no qualms about using his, and he cards his fingers into Jace's stringy, wet hair, inhaling sharply through his nose as he crowds closer, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. 

Jace doesn't realize he's groaning like a man who's been gutted until it's too late to take it back. 

They both seem content to just make out here and now, letting the kiss unfurl into something heated and fierce, Jace's arms be damned. Their friends, however...well, they can only handle so much. 

"Jace, come on," Alec mutters, sounding mildly disgusted by all of this. "Some of us actually want to go home at some point tonight." 

Dutifully, and with some regret, Jace breaks away, ducking his head to stare at the ground as he licks his lips and swallows thickly. Shit, that gets better each time. Doesn't seem to be getting old, either. 

With a soft sigh, Simon drops his hands from Jace's hair and reaches up to grasp Jace's jacket, pulling it down and holding it out so Jace can slip back into it easily enough. After, he shoots Jace a quick smile and reaches out to grasp his hand, careless of the wet skin, threading their fingers together and swinging their palms back and forth. Jace tries to look at the others with a blank look, rolling his eyes, but considering that they all just watched him make out with Simon, his act falls a little short. 

"You okay?" Clary asks warily. 

Simon beams. "Never better." 

Clary's smile blooms with relief and she says, "Well then, let's get the hell out of this rain." 

And so they do. 

Clary corners him three days later. 

She's mostly been avoiding him so far, outside of the rescue mission they'd went on. She does it strategically, however. She goes to train when he walks into the central room, goes to her room when he goes to train, starts up a conversation with anyone else when he tries to approach her. So, Jace finally stops and waits it out. She's clever, and when she feels it's time, she'll come to him. 

And she does. 

He's training when she finally breaks the silence. Her way of doing so isn't so much as her starting a conversation as it is her grabbing a wooden staff and stepping up to the mat, tilting her chin up. He already knows how this is going to go, so he sighs and gets into position opposite of her. 

The thing about Clary is...she's good, really good. She has some kind of natural fucking talent that he can't really grasp. He had to work to be as good as he is, for years, but she's so effortlessly amazing that it can sometimes be grating. And awe-inspiring. 

In this moment, however, it's just painful. 

After the fourth time that the wood snaps against the skin of his arm, leaving a red stripe, he curses sharply and drops his. "Alright, enough of this shit. At this point, this is just Jace abuse. Say what you have to say, tear me a new one, do what you gotta do, but stop fucking hitting me. By the Angel, you're making me look stupid."

"Good," Clary says flatly, "now you know how I feel." 

Jace frowns. "Clary, I never--" 

"Was it because of Simon?" 

"What?" 

Clary tilts her chin up. "You heard me. Did you keep it a secret so you could be with Simon? Because I swear to god, if you did, I will--" 

"No, no, I swear I didn't," Jace says quickly, shaking his head rapidly. "Look, Simon has nothing to do with this--with us. I found out that you weren't my sister before he and I ever got together. I just-- I really didn't know how to tell you, okay? We were finally okay after all the awkwardness, and I just...liked how we were." 

"This is my life, Jace," Clary says sharply, lips twisting bitterly. "This is more than crushes and lovers; this is family. I thought I had-- I really believed that I had a fucking family." 

Jace swallows. "You--you do. Even if we aren't actually related, I'm still your family. Simon, Izzy, hell...even Alec. We're always your family." 

"It's not the same." Clary shakes her head and tosses the staff down. "You don't understand." 

"Bullshit," Jace snaps. "If anyone does, it's me. My whole life is a lie; Michael Wayland was my father, but that was Valentine, but he's not my father, and Jocelyn isn't my mother, and the Lightwoods aren't blood, and I don't know who my family is. Don't you think I wanted one person, just one, to be able to call my actual fucking family?" 

Clary looks up, her throat bobbing. "So, that's why? You--you wanted me to be your sister?" 

Jace grimaces, heart feeling mashed the wrong way in his chest. "No, not really. I just wanted… I don't know. I guess I just wanted Valentine to stop fucking everything up for me." 

"Yeah," Clary whispers, blinking rapidly down at her shoes. "Yeah...I get that." 

"I really am sorry," Jace murmurs. "You have to know that. I--I should have told you. Hell, even Simon said I should have, but I just--" 

Clary's head snaps up and Jace freezes. "What?" she breathes out. "Simon knew? He--he didn't…" 

"Hey, now," Jace says warily, "that's not on him, okay? It's my fault. It was my place to tell you, but I didn't. This has nothing to do with him." 

"He's my best friend!" Clary explodes, that spark of righteousness Jace is so familiar with lighting up in her gaze. "He should have told me! He tells me everything, but he--he never even… Both of you kept this from me, knowing how I--" 

"No," Jace interrupts firmly. "He wanted me to tell you, but he also knew it wasn't his fucking business. This was between me and you, and you know that." 

Clary tosses her hands up. "That doesn't matter! If roles were reversed, I would have told him because that's what best friends do. You would have told Alec, and Alec would have told you. Best friends, Jace, that's what I'm getting at!" 

"It wasn't his place!" Jace shouts, anger making heat skitter down his neck, heat crawling steadily into his face. 

"As what?" Clary steps forward, eyes blazing with anger. "My best friend, or your boyfriend?" 

Jace isn't sure where it comes from, but something harsh and vindictive rises in him, and he's far too late to stop it. "Just because he doesn't follow you around like a fucking puppy anymore, you feel threatened?" 

Clary rears back, eyes going wide. "Are you serious right now? Is--is this-- Are you jealous? You know what, Jace? Fuck you. Fuck you and him." 

Without another word, Clary whirls on the spot and stomps off, red ponytail bouncing from side to side from the sharpness of her stride. As the door slams behind her, Jace feels everything come crashing down as dread hits him like a sack of bricks. This is so, so very not good. 

"Shit," he mutters. 

Chapter Text

"Jace?" 

Alec's bed is nice. The sheets are cool, the pillow is firm, the comforter is warm. Jace never wants to move, and he has no plans to. He ignores Alec, fully aware that he'll be ushered out if Alec's in a pissy mood. And Jace is not moving right now. 

Or ever, preferably. 

Alec, however, seems to be in a good mood. Or a complacent one, at least, because he moves over to the bed beside Jace and sits on the empty side with a deep sigh. He doesn't say anything, doesn't inquire anymore, and he doesn't even move. See, this is why Jace loves him, because he doesn't push. 

"Did you and Simon have a fight?" 

Okay, so maybe he does. 

Jace picks his head up and turns to look at Alec, who's staring up at the ceiling, his hands threaded together over his stomach. He looks calm, not stressed, not like everything is falling apart. Jace envies him so much. 

"Not yet," Jace admits, pushing himself up and flipping over to stare at the ceiling with his parabatai. Solidarity feels nice. 

"What'd you do?" Alec asks. 

Or not. 

Jace grimaces. "Why does it have to be me who's done something?" 

"It's always you," Alec replies. 

"Yeah," Jace mutters, "that's fair." 

Alec turns to look at him. "So?" 

"Clary isn't my sister, as it turns out. Valentine admitted it in front of me and Simon while holding the Soul Sword, then he told Clary when me and her interviewed him. She came and talked to me earlier, and we got into an argument, which is when I accidentally slipped up and told her that Simon also knew the whole time. Since he never told her, she was really pissed off. Now, not only is she angry at me, she's also now angry at him, but he doesn't know that yet. When he does find out, he's gonna be pissed at me, and I just...I really wanna sleep for ten years." 

"Jace...you idiot." 

"Yeah," Jace agrees with a sigh. 

Alec tsks lightly. "Well, me and Magnus got into an argument too, if that'll make you feel any better. Over something stupid." 

"What was it?" 

"His fucking cats. Don't get me wrong, they're fine. But one of them thinks my pants is a personal scratching post, and Magnus sees nothing wrong with that. Wear different pants, Alexander. Don't yell at my cats, Alexander. There must be a solution outside of being upset, Alexander. Pffft, fucking felines." 

Jace arches an eyebrow. "You two are having domestic arguments; that's perfectly fine. Your relationship isn't in jeopardy because of cats, Alec." 

"You and Simon have been dating for...what now? Almost a month? If your relationship is on the rocks already, because of Clary, then maybe it's not meant to be," Alec suggests lightly. 

"Didn't you and Magnus almost break up, like, a lot during the first month?" Jace challenges with a frown. "Kinda hypocritical there." 

"Yeah, but it was always big things, and never over something as dumb as Clary." 

"You're only saying that to hide the fact that you actually like Clary now. Besides, you know how important Clary is to Simon." 

Alec raises both eyebrows and rather pettily says, "Not important enough to rat on his boyfriend and tell her the truth about her sibling status." 

Jace opens his mouth, then slowly closes it. He turns to stare at Alec. "You know, you've always been blunt, but you were never this bratty before Magnus. He's really rubbing off on you." 

"And so is his fucking cat," Alec mutters. 

"By the Angel, just ask Magnus to magic up the cat an actual scratching post with the same fabric of your pants and make sure to change before you go to visit him," Jace replies, rolling his eyes. 

Alec blinks. "Huh. That actually...makes sense." 

"Yeah, I'm not always useless. Okay, I fixed your problem, now you fix mine," Jace says. 

"I'm not sure if I can." Alec purses his lips and narrows his eyes at the ceiling, like a solution will be laid out above them. Sighing, he flicks his gaze to Jace. "I guess the question is if you want to fix it at all. I mean, how much do you actually care if you and Simon make it or not?" 

Jace opens his mouth to say that he cares a lot, but he snaps it shut. That shouldn't be his knee-jerk reaction. That shouldn't even be the truth. He isn't supposed to care that much, not about something that's borderline fake, something so casual. If it ends, then it ends, and that's it. 

He finds that he cares a lot, despite that. At least about this. This shouldn't be the thing that ends it. They should end it on their terms, not because of some spat with Clary. It matters, even if it doesn't matter, and that's enough for Jace to want to fix it. 

"It's been...good," Jace admits slowly, like he's getting his teeth pulled. "I don't want it to end because of some outside force; that just leaves room for no closure." 

Alec hums. "Alright, if you say so. That leaves you with two choices." 

"Which are?" 

"You can either let it play out and hope for the best, or you can go to Simon and get a head start on apologizing. Take him some flowers, say you're sorry a lot, genuinely ask for forgiveness." 

"Grovel," Jace says flatly. "You're telling me to grovel." 

"Sometimes, when you really want to be with someone, you have to make that abundantly clear, pride be damned." Alec snorts and reaches over to pat Jace's shoulder. "So, yeah, I'm saying grovel. If it really matters, you'll at least try." 

Jace sucks on his teeth and grunts. "I don't tell you this enough, so I think you forget, but you should know that I really don't like you sometimes." 

"Don't hate me because I'm right." 

"Fuck you. Why don't you go grovel to Magnus and leave me alone?" 

Alec snorts again. "Oh, you don't think I won't? I love him; of course I'm gonna grovel." 

"Wait, really?" Jace looks over at him in slight confusion. "Even just about his cats?" 

"Yeah," Alec says with a fond eye-roll. "Magnus is forgiving for the most part, but he really doesn't play about his cats." 

Jace chuckles. "And I thought Simon was ridiculous." 

"If Clary is to Simon what stray cats are to Magnus, take it from me, groveling is all you got." 

"Yeah, well, you can grovel all you want. I definitely will not be doing that." 

Alec just laughs softly. "Sure, Jace, whatever you say." 

Simon opens the door with a frown, which is definitely not a good sign, and Jace feels his stomach swoop with nerves. He can't believe he's actually doing this. He adjusts the bag on his shoulder and clears his throat, trying to smile like nothing is amiss, even as Simon continues to frown at him. 

"Jace, what are you doing here?" Simon asks, eyebrows pulling down. "You didn't call." 

Jace clears his throat again. "Didn't know I had to. Just wanted to stop by. You busy?" 

As Simon opens his mouth to answer, Jace quickly slips inside the boathouse without waiting to hear what he has to say. He's here, dammit, and if he backs out now, he'll never do this again. He hopes like hell that Simon isn't busy, because if he is, this is gonna be awkward as fuck. 

And because the universe hates him, it appears that Simon is actually doing something. Maia is here, just sitting on Simon's bed with a twizzler sticking out of her mouth as she sizes Jace up with narrowed eyes. Which, great, let the awkwardness begin. 

"Sure, come right on in," Simon says with a sigh, tossing Maia a tight smile before turning to look at Jace. "Everything okay?" 

Not sure where to go from here, Jace doesn't say anything for a moment, his words stuck in his throat. This is exactly why he doesn't grovel. "Uh," he says eloquently, doing his best to ignore Maia and just focus on his task. "Things are...things." 

Maia snorts and tosses her legs over the side of the bed, hopping up with her eyebrows raised knowingly at him. "You fucked up something, didn't you? Trust me, Simon, I know the look of a guy who's done something wrong. So, what'd you do?" 

And shit. This is bad. 

Simon's frown deepens. "Jace? What happened?" 

"Can I just-- Maia, please, can I have a moment with Simon alone real quick?" Jace asks in frustration, reaching up to scrub at his eyebrow. 

"Yeah, no." Maia tugs the twizzler from her mouth and grins sharply. "No way I'm missing this. Share with the class, Jace." 

"Maia," Simon says wearily, frowning even more, and this continues to get worse. 

Jace suddenly remembers that he still has time to play the boyfriend card--even if that seems to have an expiration date now--and so he uses it. "Hey, I just need a few moments with my boyfriend, okay? Then I'll be on my way, and you two can continue having your little sleepover." 

"Simon, if you make me leave, I will riot," Maia says, waving her twizzler around. "Come on, please don't make me miss this. It's gonna be good, I can feel it." 

Simon rolls his eyes. "Just a few minutes, Maia, okay? And don't eavesdrop from outside." 

"It's like you don't even know me at all," Maia says playfully, winking as she starts towards the door, shooting Jace the middle finger as she goes. 

Once alone, Jace feels slightly better. Only slightly, but he'll take what he can get. "Hey." 

"Hi," Simon says slowly. "What's wrong?" 

Jace is suddenly worried more than he has been this entire time. Alec never mentioned this part, never said that Jace would be standing here, feeling like he's on the edge of a cliff. This is unfairly stressful, and Jace just wishes it would go away. But it won't, so he's going to have to make it. 

He should get on that. Just come clean and start the apologies, pass Simon the blood he picked up before heading over--a thing he swore he'd never do, but desperate times and all that. He even got Simon that stupid Brooklyn snowglobe he'd been eyeing up at a shop they walked past about a week ago. It's a start, something he can work with, and he just has to get it out, just face the problem. 

Instead, he says, "Kiss me." 

Simon looks slightly uncertain, but he doesn't protest. He shifts closer and looks at Jace with furrowed brows, concern clear in his eyes. Before he leans in fully, he pauses to sniff Jace's breath, no doubt checking to make sure he hasn't gotten drunk. To be fair, Jace had almost considered it, but he doesn't break promises, so it didn't happen. The fact that Simon is checking means that Jace is more obvious than he means to be. 

Once sure that Jace hasn't drowned his sorrows, Simon leans in and closes his eyes, pressing his lips to Jace's. The contact is unsure, almost awkward, like they've never done this before, but that only lasts for as long as it takes for Jace to sit the bag on the floor at their feet. As soon as his hands are free, Jace reaches up to cradle Simon's face and kiss him back, taking it to a point that worry can't reach them. 

Simon makes a small sound, half-shock and half-approval, when he realizes that Jace is going to let the kiss stretch into something he never really does. They've kissed heatedly and sweetly, sure, but those have never lasted, and Jace always cuts it off before his brain can shut down fully. This time, he embraces the mindlessness of it and gives into action, parting his lips to let Simon in, groaning his approval when Simon takes the opportunity. 

Their kisses have been intense, intimate even, but they've never been urgent. Never have they made Jace want to curl up in the moment and never leave. Wanting to rush things along, but go as slow as possible. Like forever compacted into one second. 

Before Jace knows what he's doing, he's stumbling backwards to get his back against something firm, inviting Simon to crowd in close and pin him. Since his brain is no longer in working order, he has no control over what his hands are doing, which seem to be trying to get Simon's hoodie off without ever breaking the kiss. Distantly, he knows that's impossible, but he's giving valiant effort. 

Jace barely notices that he's going lightheaded, that he hasn't taken one breath of air for maybe a bit too long, but Simon must remember that he's human enough to need to breathe, because he pulls away. 

"Wh--what was that about?" Simon stutters, eyes wide as he stares at Jace, who's panting heavily. 

Jace, like the idiot he is, says, "Just wanted it to be good in case it was the last time." 

Which, that's true. Because he's not above that. 

Simon, however, looks hesitant again. Trepidation fills his expression, eyes growing hazy with undeniable wariness. "Jace, seriously, what's going on? You're being...strange."

"Fuck, I'm doing this wrong. This is why I don't do this to begin with," Jace snaps, annoyed with himself. He pushes himself past Simon and marches over to snatch up the bag he'd sat down. "Here, take my fucking gifts." 

"Gifts," Simon echoes, reaching out to grasp the bag to peer down into it. "You got me...blood. Oh! Hey, you also got me that snowglobe. I thought you said it was stupid to have those in places you live?" 

Jace grunts. "It is, but you liked it, so...I don't know." 

"Okay, so Maia was right," Simon surmised with a deep sigh, looking up at Jace with yet another frown. Because that's exactly what Jace needs right now. Not. "What did you do?" 

"Okay, so first, I guess I should say I'm sorry. That's how this works, right?" 

"This? What is this?" 

"Ya know...groveling," Jace clarifies, waving a hand as his face contorts into a grimace. 

Simon's eyebrows fly up. "Wow, you really did fuck up. Okay, seriously, you're freaking me out. What--" 

Before this can spiral out of control anymore, Jace interrupts him and just...dives right in. Just comes clean, lets it out, tries to convey every detail of his and Clary's argument word-for-word. He knows better than to try and paint Clary in a bad light, even if he does think she was wrong--that's besides the point, he still cares about her. 

Simon listens without cutting in, which is a first, and his expression slowly slips into a blank mask, like he's keeping everything he wants to show hidden away. Even his frown is gone, and Jace thinks he'd prefer to see that, rather than the nothing he's getting at the moment. And the longer that Simon goes without saying anything, or stopping him, Jace continues to ramble and feel like shit. 

"And it's not like I was trying to, I don't know, tell on you or anything. I just-- It just slipped out, and then she got so angry, so I got angry, and now…" Jace trails off for a moment, at a loss. Groveling, as it turns out, is not his forte. "The point is, I fucked up, and I'm sorry, okay? I know that--" 

Simon holds up his hand, and Jace nearly swallows his tongue trying to shut up. He waits for something, anything, but Simon says nothing. In fact, Simon just turns around, walks over to his shoes, shoves his feet into them, and leaves. 

Just gone, just like that, in a blur of vampire speed, without a fucking word. 

Jace blinks around the empty room, rocked to his core with uncertainty and stunned shock. He has no fucking clue what just happened, but he's pretty sure that it's not good. He's so confused that he isn't even sure if he should leave or not. 

Before he gets the chance to decide, Maia comes walking into the room, her arms held out in the universal stance of what the fuck. Jace has no answers for her, so he just shrugs helplessly and sighs. 

"Jesus, Jace, what did you do?" Maia blurts. 

"I don't-- I mean, I didn't know he'd react like that. I thought he'd yell at me or something, not just...run off," Jace mutters, grimacing. 

Maia huffs. "Well, you've effectively ruined my night now. Who else am I going to rant to about shitty customers? I've been waiting for this all week!" 

"It's not like I planned this," Jace snaps, marching over to the bed to flop down with a huff. He watches Maia follow him over and sit down beside him. "I can listen to you rant, if you want."

"I think I'd rather hear about how you got dumped, actually," Maia says. 

Jace looks at her blankly. "He didn't technically dump me. He just...left." 

Maia snorts. "Oh, honey, he definitely dumped you." 

Jace isn't willing to believe that, not just yet. He and Simon had agreed to just communicate from the beginning, so he thinks that Simon would at least let him know something. Maybe Simon's going to call it quits, but he hasn't yet, so Jace has however long until Simon comes back to figure out how to keep it from going to shit. 

If he even wants to. 

Does he? 

Something about the circumstance keeps Jace from wanting it to end. Not like this. Not over a stupid mishap, not just because of a slip of the tongue, not so fucking soon. Things have been good, strangely enough, and Jace...well, he likes how things are right now. Simon seems to as well. 

So, yeah, he does want to keep it from ending. For right now, at least. 

Maia suddenly heaves a sigh and hops up from the bed, walking over to snatch up her purse. Jace watches her gather her stuff with a frown. As she slips into her coat, a pang of guilt hits him where he can't ignore it. 

"Where are you going?" he asks.

Maia sends him a frown. "Well, I'm not going to stick around here. If Simon comes back, he's probably going to want to talk to you, so there goes my night. I'm going home to drink some wine, watch the Golden Girls, then sleep my entire two days off." 

"Sorry for...fucking up your night," Jace mutters, grimacing at the truth in his words. 

"It's whatever," Maia tells him, even if he's pretty sure that it isn't. "We'll just do it next week. If you do somehow manage to fix this, do me a favor and try not to fuck up again before me and Simon get to have our friend time, 'kay?" 

Jace nods. "Yeah, I'll do my best." 

With that, just as Simon had, Maia turns around and walks away, leaving Jace all alone. Jace is ninety-five percent sure that he should've just stayed in Alec's bed and never even entertained the idea of groveling. 

Too late now. 

Simon doesn't stay gone for too long. Just a little over two hours. When he returns, he doesn't look surprised to see Jace waiting patiently for him. 

"I fixed it," Simon tells him. 

Jace looks up with a frown. "Fixed what?" 

"Clary's not angry anymore," Simon informs him, kicking off his shoes and throwing himself down on the bed beside Jace. "Well, not at me, anyway." 

"You left to go see Clary," Jace states slowly. 

Simon looks at him with a furrowed brow. "Yeah. What did you think I was doing?" 

"Well, I wouldn't fucking know, would I? You just left, Simon." Jace shakes his head and releases a huff of annoyance. "Dunno why I'm surprised. I mean, I should have known that you were going to her." 

"Woah," Simon blurts, sitting up straight, so he's shoulder-to-shoulder with Jace. "I don't understand why you're upset. There was a problem, so I went and fixed it. Clary's my best friend; it wouldn't have been right for me to do nothing." 

Jace scrubs his hand through his hair, frustration like a constant pulse in his mind. "I'm not saying you should have done nothing. You just didn't have to--to leave like that. You could've said something!" 

"I just-- I was trying to make it better, that's all. I could tell you were worried--"

"Oh, don't give me that line of bullshit!" 

Simon scowls. "It's not bullshit! You came and told me that Clary was pissed off at you and me, so I went to try and fix it. Because I know her better than anyone, and I know how to do that!" 

"And why didn't you say that before you left?" Jace snaps harshly. "Simon, I get that you're her shadow, but you can't just run off to her every single time something goes wrong! Do you know why? Because that leaves the rest of us fucking confused! You left Maia without a word, you left me without saying shit, and you'd have left anyone else who you half-ass care about to go running to her. That's not-- It isn't okay, and if you're that head-over-heels for her, then you need to fucking come to terms with it!" 

Simon rears back in shock, lips parting around a shape inhale. "Jace, what the hell? I--I wasn't trying to put her above anyone; I was just trying to help." 

"No, you were trying to cover your own ass," Jace barks, jolting to his feet and brushing his hair out of his face. "You know what, it's--it's fine. I don't care." 

"Where are you--no, hey!" Simon pushes himself to his feet, reaching out to grab Jace's shoulder. "Hey, you do not get to turn this around on me! For someone who says they don't care, you sure seem to care a lot. I don't know what has you so pissed off, but I seriously wasn't trying to play sides. I just wanted to help, but next time--" 

"Just wanted to help," Jace cuts him off, jerking his shoulder away from Simon. "Yeah, I see that. You wanted to help alright; help yourself. No, that's fine, it doesn't matter. I'm leaving." 

"You're--you can't just--" 

"No? I can't? I mean, you did!" 

Simon takes a step forward. "I didn't realize that you'd be so upset about it!" 

"Yeah," Jace mutters, swallowing around a thick throat, "well, now I guess you know." 

Simon calls after him, but Jace doesn't listen. He takes a page out of Simon's book and walks away, leaving neither of them sure where they stand. 

At least Jace isn't alone in his confusion this time. 

Chapter Text

In all honesty, Jace isn't prepared for it. He's just stepping out of the bar, heading towards the Institute, when it happens. 

"Help me, please!" A girl with brown eyes and yellow hair like straw comes barreling towards him, her feet wobbling on her heels. "Please, please, help me!" 

Jace realizes belatedly that he hasn't activated the rune to keep him invisible to the mundane eye, so he prepares himself to fight under scrutiny. To his surprise, the woman slams into him, her long orange nails digging into the meat of his arms. There's tears clinging to her false eyelashes. 

"Woah, woah, easy," he says, tone stern and soft all at once. "Tell me what's wrong." 

She begins to tug on his arm. "Please, help. Come with me, please!" 

Jace doesn't think twice, though he knows he should. He follows after her stumbling gait, helping her along as she pulls him deeper into the alley. They take a few corners and she begins crying in earnest, unable to say much more than help me. He wants to do just that, so he fingers his seraph blade with his free hand and tries to soothe her. 

They take too many turns. Somewhere three turns back, Jace has lost his direction. Given half the chance, he wouldn't be able to find his way back. But he can hear the faint sounds of New York just behind him, cats howling in lone dumpsters in front of him, and the omnipresent weight of darkness seems to swallow him whole. He feels right at home. 

It takes him approximately ten minutes altogether to realize that he's been drugged. Under normal circumstances, any mundane drug wouldn't work on him at a regular dose, especially not with his angel blood, but this doesn't appear to be normal circumstances. His words are slurring, the alleyway tilts, and the woman's tears have stopped. 

"What did… What did you do to me?" Jace scrabbles for purchase against the chipping brick wall to his right, stomach rolling uncomfortably. 

The woman peers at him with eerily clear eyes, her smile calm. "Hey, mister, you alright there?" 

Jace is fairly certain he's going to puke. Instead, he blacks out with no warning whatsoever. 

When Jace comes to, with his stomach rolling in discomfort and his head throbbing, he finds himself face-to-face with a metal post. It's so thick that his arms wrap all the way around it and just barely touch, linked by the wrists with heavy chains, and his legs are splayed straight around the pole. He's effectively hugging a metal post against his will. 

As if things can't get any worse, there is a pair of legs resting atop his, one bent over his calves, the other thrown over his lap. And to add insult to injury, two arms loop under Jace's, one digging into his chest, the other on the opposite side. Someone's sitting directly to his left, and Jace already has a sneaking suspicion of who it is before he even looks, based entirely on the temperature of the skin he's touching. 

And sure enough, when Jace tips his head to the left with minor drums pounding in his head, he meets Simon's sheepish gaze. 

Well, it looks like nightmares do come true. 

"Fancy meeting you here," Simon says awkwardly. 

"Yeah," Jace replies flatly, "fancy that." 

Sighing, Jace averts his eyes and moves his head back around to the other side of the pole so he won't have to look at Simon any longer. The mere sight of him makes Jace want to scream, whether in a fit of anger, or out of sheer despair...he doesn't know. And the sad part about his immediate reaction? 

It's only been two days. 

Two days since Jace walked away in a fit of anger, giving no sign of what that meant--mostly because he has no idea himself. To be fair, Simon has tried to call and text, but after Jace didn't reply, he seemed to have given up. Or, maybe he stopped caring. The point is, Jace hasn't seen or heard from Simon since their argument, which was two days ago. 

It goes without saying that this is not how he wanted to have this conversation, but they seem to be in yet another kidnap situation, so he's going to wager a guess that they don't really have a choice. 

Sure, he can try to ignore it, but that'd just be awkward. Plus, this is a dangerous situation, one they'll probably need to work together to get out of. They definitely won't manage that if they're fixated on their current...issues. 

Despite knowing this, he has no idea where to begin. So, he hides his face and tries to wrack his brain for anything that will clear the air that won't require him to actually talk about...feelings. 

Naturally, his brain comes up with nada. 

Simon clears his throat. "So, uh, how'd they get you?" 

"Woman posed as someone in distress and poisoned me. With some coating on her fingernails, I'm guessing," Jace admits. "What about you?"

"A vampire came to my boathouse. There was a knock and I just--I opened the door, only to immediately get knocked the fuck out," Simon tells him, tipping his head around so he can look at Jace. 

"Why'd you open the door? Simon, we've talked about this; I installed a peep-hole for a reason. Always look before you unlock," Jace lectures, turning to catch Simon's gaze, frowning at him. 

Simon shrugs awkwardly as much as his restrained position will allow. "I dunno. I thought it was you." 

Whatever Jace's reply is gets stuck in his throat as he processes those mumbled words. Simon is staring at the pole with a deep intensity that's only bred from the need to avoid looking up. And so, there's the opening; they can talk about it, figure things out, move past it--to whatever they decide on. All Jace has to do is open his mouth, take the olive branch, and find out if he still has a boyfriend or not. 

Instead, Jace says, "Any idea why we're kidnapped again?" 

"Not a clue," Simon replies softly. "Though, I'm pretty sure it's me this time. I can't be sure, but I think it has to do with me being a Daylighter." 

"Great." Jace lightly taps his forehead to the pole, eyes sinking closed. "You know, you're never going to be fully safe anymore." 

"Small price to pay," Simon murmurs. 

Jace lifts his head, opens his eyes, and swallows thickly as Simon's gaze locks onto his. "Not the way I see it." 

There's a beat of silence as they both review that comment. Jace is well aware what he meant by that little slip of honesty. In his own way, he's saying that he cares about Simon, about his safety, about the longevity of his continued life. Even now, even after their fight. Jace wonders if Simon realizes that, wonders if he wants him to. 

Before either of them can even consider resolving this, or trying to, the door opens with a horrifying creek as the girl that drugged Jace stuck her head in, eyes flicking over them. When she sees them awake, she grins and turns her head towards the empty space behind her. 

"They're awake!" she yells. 

Not even a second later, a slim man in a sweater comes darting into the room, pushing his sleeves up as he surveys them. "It's about time." 

Jace turns to Simon with his eyebrows raised. "You let him knock you out?" 

Simon grimaces. "Wasn't my best moment." 

"Shut up," the man says, slowly walking closer, circling them slowly. "Do you know who I am?" 

Jace and Simon say nothing. 

"Tell 'em who you are, baby," the woman purrs, slinking in the room with her orange nails flashing. 

The man hums, but doesn't spare her a glance, too focused on walking a slow loop around his captives--which is just an intimidation tactic that Jace would scoff at if Simon didn't look just slightly intimidated by it. They've really got to work on Simon's approach to being kidnapped; staying constantly terrified is getting a little stale. 

"My name is Reginald; you may call me Reggie," he announces with casualness that suggests they're all friends here, even if they most definitely aren't. He smiles and continues walking. "That's Charity. Very charitable, that one." 

Jace snorts. "Find that a little hard to believe, but if you say so, Reginald." 

"Reggie, please," Reginald says calmly, holding up a hand when Charity hisses in distaste and moves forward in open anger. She stops in her tracks and huffs, crossing her arms as she glares at Jace. "So, I'm sure you're both wondering why you're here." 

"Nah, man," Simon says with an anxious laugh, head twisting to keep Reginald in his eyesight, "we figured we were all just hanging out. Shoulda told us, we'd have brought some wine. Or, well, wine for the humans, but we could have some good old blood bags. What's your favorite? Wait, no, let me guess! You look like an A-neg kinda guy, or--" 

Simon swallows his words with a small yelp when Reginald suddenly blurs to a stop in front of him, kneeling so they'll be eye-level. Jace very carefully doesn't react, but his muscles tense without his permission. He keeps his gaze fixated on them, even while keeping every twitch Charity gives catalogued. 

"Oh, I don't drink blood bags, Simon," Reginald says with a small smile. "I prefer it from the tap, myself. Would you like a taste? A nice drink of Charity, on the house. Trust me, that will surely become your new favorite." 

Charity walks over to stand behind Reginald, lingering at his shoulder, waiting for his command, and Simon swallows thickly. 

"I--I already have a favorite, thank you," Simon murmurs quickly, leaning back when Reginald slowly pushes forward, bringing their faces closer together. 

"I imagine you do." Reginald stares at Simon for a beat longer, then his gaze abruptly snaps to Jace, lips curling up at the side. "Tell me, how does he taste? I've never had Shadowhunter before." 

Simon's eyes bulge. "I don't-- I've never--" 

"Oh, baby cakes, you can't lie for shit," Charity says, tossing her head back to laugh. "It's cute to watch you try, though." 

Reginald continues as if he never even stopped, quietly explaining, "I have always considered it, you know. But there's so much work that has to go into it. They're not like humans, not easy, not as quick to trust. But you… Simon, you've managed it. You made him fall in love, so he trusts you wholly." 

"You're insane," Simon notes with just a hint of hysteria, blowing out a delirious laugh. "Why can't it ever be a normal kidnapper?" 

Jace sighs. "Yeah, 'cause those exist," he mutters sarcastically. 

"I can see that the stakes don't seem too high for either of you," Reginald announces, abruptly popping up and moving at his same snail's pace in an arc, heading straight for Jace. "Allow me to rectify that. Here's what's going to happen." 

"Oh great, here we go," Jace says with a sigh, rolling his eyes. 

"I'm going to give you two options, Simon, and it's up to you to choose which one will happen." With a polite smile, Reginald comes to a halt behind Jace, one hand reaching out to sit on the top of Jace's head, not moving, but creepy all the same. "However, the catch is...you only have thirty seconds, or our dear Charity will make the choice for you." 

"Oooh, a game," Charity gasps out, eyes brightening in genuine excitement. "I do love a game!" 

"Yay," Simon deadpans. 

"So, for example, we'll start very simple," Reginald explains calmly. "Option A: I have a taste of my human, or… Option B: I have a taste of yours. You have thirty seconds to decide." 

Up until this very moment, Jace has kept a brave face. He's stayed calm, he's maintained his outward reactions, and he has come across as careless as possible. But there's no hiding the way he tenses when those options come into play. He tenses under Reginald's hand, which only earns him a casual scratch at his scalp, one entirely too familiar and not even close to comforting. 

Simon is frozen in place for entirely too long. 

"Wait, I don't--" 

"Better get to pickin', sugar," Charity says, lips poking out slightly. "But please, please, don't pick me. He bites me so much, I might just die the next time he has a go at me!" 

Simon looks over at Jace, flinching slightly against the pole, his eyes wide. "Jace, what do I--" 

"Time's up!" Reginald announces, sounding irritatingly like a game-show host. "So, my darling, what will it be?" 

Charity hums, her lips breaking into a broad grin. She taps her chin theatrically and hums out a soft laugh. "Oh, baby, you know I can never resist a bite, and you promised you wouldn't taste anyone else." 

Reginald raises both eyebrows. "Isn't this the perfect occasion for an exception?" 

"Oh," Charity says slowly, "well…" 

"If he gets one taste," Jace speaks up, heart thumping wildly in his chest, "he'll never want you again. He'll discard you for me, and you'll never get a bite again." 

A spark of uncertainty slides into Charity's gaze. 

"Well played," Reginald says softly. "Well, my love?" 

Charity clears her throat, clearly torn between being cowed by Jace's threat and wanting to please Reginald. She bites her lip, then says, "Reggie, baby, let's let the suspense settle in. Come and get me." 

Reginald smiles. "Very well." 

He's over to her in a flash, yanking her by the hair hard enough to make her hiss in displeasure, but the moment he bites, that hiss softens into a deep sigh of relief. She sort of goes limp in his grasp, reaching back with on shaky hand to grasp weakly at his head, trying to keep him close. Jace cringes and looks over to Simon, meeting his worried gaze. 

"It's okay," Jace says softly, trying to shift to knock his elbow into Simon's. 

Simon swallows audibly. 

"Well," Reginald says with a flourish, carelessly pushing Charity away from him, letting her slump against the wall, panting and moaning. He reaches up to wipe one trail of blood from his mouth as he continues, "that was fun. While she's recovering, why I don't give you the next options?" 

"Ya know, I--I think I'm gonna pass," Simon mutters quickly. "Would You Rather really isn't my game, isn't anyone's game 'cause it's, ya know, stupid. Why don't we play something like--" 

"So, either you can bite the Shadowhunter, or… I can. You have thirty seconds to decide," Reginald told Simon seriously, his smile still polite. 

"Or, how about Option C? The one where neither of us bite him?" Simon suggests awkwardly, eyes wide as Reginald starts steadily towards Jace. "Hey, hey, I still have twenty-five seconds!" 

Reginald arches an eyebrow as he stops behind Jace, fingers making paths into his hair. "Well, seeing as Charity is out of commission, I suppose I shall be choosing for her, in the case that you don't. You have nineteen seconds left, and you should utilize them." 

"Simon," Jace says calmly, "if you let this creep bite me, I will never forgive you." 

Simon lets out a soft whine, nervously shuffling as much as being chained to a pole will allow. "Okay, but Jace, I haven't eaten in two days! I--I don't need to be biting anybody!" 

"Two-- Are you crazy?" Jace jerks his head from Reginald's hands to glare at Simon. "Why have you--" 

"Ten seconds," Reginald puts in quietly, sounding genuinely amused by all of this. 

"Well, it's not like you were there," Simon snaps, his face screwing up with anxiety. "I just kept seeing the blood you brought me before we--well, you know, and I just couldn't. I was so freaking--" 

"Five," Reginald says. 

"Simon, if you don't fucking decide, I swear I will never talk to you again!" 

"What else is new?" 

"Simon!" Jace bellows. 

"Two," Reginald says, fisting his hand into Jace's hair, getting a grip. 

Simon looks utterly terrified. "What? Maybe I won't stop! What, then? How do I--" 

"I'd rather die with you than--" 

Reginald yanks Jace's head to the side and smiles, flashing fangs, as he says, "O--" 

"OKAY! OKAY, ME!" Simon nearly busts his head open against the pole as the words rip out of him violently, limbs flailing as he does his best to get to Jace. When Reginald freezes mere centimetres away, Simon breathes in relief and slumps forward before muttering, "I'll do it. Jeez, I'll fucking do it." 

"I see you like to play a risky game," Reginald says with a soft laugh, dropping Jace's hair and standing up. "Well, you have fifteen seconds to bite. If you wait too long, you forfeit. The clock starts...now." 

"Wait, I can't even reach him!" Simon shouts , head whipping around towards Reginald. "How am I supposed to--" 

Reginald holds up a hand. "You can reach him. Your teeth are very well in range of his neck." 

"But--but--" 

"Eight seconds." 

"Simon, listen to me," Jace says sharply, making Simon look over at him with wide eyes. He can tell that Simon's genuinely scared, that he's panicking a lot more than he needs to at the moment, and Jace can't let that go on. "Hey, it's okay. I need you to do something for me, okay?" 

"Five seconds." 

"Fuck off, Reginald!" 

Simon swallows thickly. "Jace, I don't know if--" 

"You can, and you will. Just--just a bit, just a little, no matter what I say, and--and then it's over. All you need to do is just...calm down, get your emotions under control, and have a sip. That's it." 

"I almost killed you last time. I--I don't want to kill you, Jace. I can't just--" 

"Two seconds," Reginald sing-songs. 

Jace grimaces and shoves himself to the left, craning his head to the right to reveal his neck. His heart races as he mutters, "No time, just fucking do it." 

"Jace--" 

"Simon…please." 

Reginald opens his mouth, clearly about to say one, but Simon's already opening his mouth to reveal fangs, darting forward like a strike from a coiled snake, and burying his fangs into Jace's throat. 

Jace hasn't forgotten the gut-wrenching sensation of fangs piercing his wrist, and he certainly hasn't been able to erase the memories of how good it was. Still, the memory doesn't even compare to the real thing; it's just a watered-down version. This? This is bliss, and nothing in the world can replicate even a fraction of this ecstasy. 

He would live in this moment forever if he could.

He barely notices the tears that escape his eyes, doesn't even acknowledge the long, drawn-out moan he releases, and he has no idea that he's leaning into Simon as much as possible, doing his best to get closer, trying to prolong this. All he knows is Simon, all he cares about is Simon, and all he wants to do is stay connected this way, feeding Simon while pure euphoria is fed back to him. 

From far away, he thinks he hears a girl giggle, but he doesn't care. 

Simon apparently does, however, because he breaks away from Jace with a sharp inhale through his teeth, his chest heaving despite the fact that he has absolutely no use for his lungs. Jace feels floaty in the best way, a gentle tingle running pleasant undercurrents under his skin, and he'd like it very much if Simon would bite him again. 

"No, Jace," Simon tells him, his voice shaking. "Hey, pick your head up. Look at me. Jace? Jace?" 

"Oh, he's fine," Reginald says. "Can't you hear how strong his heart is? You probably could bite him once more without causing any harm." 

Jace hums in agreement, tipping his head back. 

"Jace, I know you're, like, high as a kite right now, but this really isn't the time to be checking out on me. I'm not gonna bite you again, ever, so--so come on down already," Simon mutters, jerking his shoulder to jostle Jace slightly. 

Jace grunts. "M'fine." 

He is. In fact, he's great! 

"Fuck," Simon says plainly. 

"Oh, look how happy he is!" Charity's voice drifts closer and she lets out a pleased sigh. "Can I hold him? He should be held." 

Jace would like it very much if someone would hold him, Simon preferably, but he'll take what he can get. Any contact currently feels like...well, heaven. 

"It's not me you need permission from," Reginald tells her gently. "Ask his master." 

"I'm not--" 

"Can I hold him? You should let me hold him! Oh, he'll love it so much," Charity says, on the verge of pleading, her heels clicking closer. 

"Don't touch him," Simon spits out harshly. 

Jace feels the air from the hand jerking back from his cheek, and he lets out a huff of annoyance. His head is beginning to hurt. 

"You should care for him, you know," Reginald scolds, tutting like he's disappointed. "No matter, we can hurry this along. I'm almost positive that you understand the severity of the situation, yes?" 

Simon makes a sound of discomfort, and Jace shifts closer, his eyes fluttering. "Yes," he grits out. 

"Good, then I've made my point. So, here are your next options, and remember...you only have thirty seconds." Reginald hums in approval at his own little game. "Simon, either you tell me how you've managed to achieve the ability to walk in the daylight, or I will kill him." 

Jace's head is now reaching peak levels of pain. 

"I--I can't do that!" Simon blurts, sounding horrified and--in Jace's opinion--too unhappy for all the biting that just occurred. "You don't get it. I have no idea how I got like this!" 

"Come now, surely you don't expect me to believe that," Reginald says with a derisive snort. "You must have theories, at the very least. I'm sure you'll figure it out with so much on the line. Twenty-two seconds left, Simon, and the clock is ticking."

"No, you have to listen to me, okay? You can't do this; you'll kill an innocent person for no reason! I--I don't know what happened," Simon stutters, his voice shaking worryingly. "All I know is that one day I couldn't walk in the sun, and the next...I could. That's all, though." 

Jace is ninety-five percent sure that there's something he should be saying, or doing, or feeling, but he can't quite grasp what it is. Everything keeps going so fast, not like last time when Valentine gave him time to come down from the exquisite reaction to a vampire bite before knocking him out cold and taking him hostage. No one is giving him recovery time now, and he's left with the sensation like cotton is inside his brain. 

"Eighteen seconds," Reginald reminds them calmly, humming pleasantly. "Tick tock." 

"I'm serious, man! I'm so serious. You--you don't understand; I'd never put his life at risk, okay? When I say that I don't know, I mean it!" 

"What were you doing before you gained this ability? Do you remember?" 

"I was being held captive by Valentine," Simon mutters, and Jace finds himself chuckling for some reason he isn't sure of. 

Everything is just so funny. 

"And you're certain he didn't do anything to you?" 

"I...I mean, are we ever certain? Can we truly be--" 

"Twelve seconds, Simon." 

"Okay, look, I don't know. I just--I don't fucking know! If I did, I'd tell everyone, all the vampires! Don't you think I'd want everyone like me to feel the sun on their skin again? I know exactly what it was like to always live in darkness, and I wouldn't just keep the solution to that to myself!" 

Reginald hums. "Perhaps that is the case, perhaps not. You are young and stupid; you wouldn't realize that power so early on. That means you either know and can't say, or you don't know." He pauses for a solid two seconds. "I'm going to guess the former. Six more seconds. Five, four, th--" 

"Please, I don't know. I really don't know, okay? I'm sorry; I'm so sorry. I wish I could help, but--" 

"One." 

"No!" Simon bellows. 

Jace's eyes jolt open when he's jerked violently by his hair, but all he sees is the pole coming closer at a rapid pace. Then, it isn't until pain explodes around his nose and eyes that he realizes Reginald is bashing his face into the metal post with harsh force. He gets to suck in one sharp breath before his face is meeting solid, cold metal all over again. 

Well, there goes his high. 

Simon abruptly screams, and Jace is pretty sure that it has to do with the blood currently streaming down his face, but he turns out to be wrong. In a swift motion that Jace couldn't have ever seen coming, high or sober, Simon yanks his hands roughly from his chains--thumbs dangling awkwardly--and is a blur of movement as he twists his body to the right. 

Jace only has moment to be shocked when his face collides with the back of Simon's head because Simon has shoved himself into Jace's lap, blocking his path to the pole--not that Simon's head is any softer. But he's clearly got a plan, because he reaches back and grasps both sides of Reginald's head, tugging sharply and shouting through the pain of his broken thumbs healing. There's a high pitched squeal--which can only belong to Charity--and a soft huff of surprise from Reginald, then everything goes strangely quiet. 

All except for the dull thump of Reginald's head as it lands with a splat beside Jace's hip, disconnected grotesquely from the rest of his body. 

"Well, I'll be damned," Jace mumbles mildly. 

Charity's scream filters off, and she blinks rapidly down at Reginald's body, slowly crawling closer on her knees. "Reggie? Baby? Reggie, are you--" 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Simon grinds out in warning, rubbing his still-healing thumbs. 

Almost as soon as he's said this, Reginald's body bursts into light, disintegrating on the spot, practically slipping through Charity's fingers. She pats at the floor, her eyes wide, them she opens her mouth to release a gut-wrenching sob of horror. 

"That's unfortunate," Jace mutters. 

Simon heaves a sigh, doing his best to turn around to see Jace, and failing. "Are you still...inebriated?" 

"Still kinda woozy, yeah, but I'm going to be fine. Just--just don't bite me again," Jace replies. 

"Alright, well, this isn't over yet. Kinda need your help to get through this, so can you...ya know?" 

"Sure seems like you've got it under control." 

"Instinct," Simon whispers, averting his eyes. 

Because Jace is an asshole, kinda still fucked up from Simon's fangs, and has no idea how to comfort anyone, he says, "So, this was instinctual, huh? You could have just asked if you wanted to sit in my lap so bad, Simon." 

Simon blinks and glances down at their compromised position, his lips parting. "Shit, I--I didn't even realize!" 

"Well, I can't exactly miss it." Jace wiggles his hips slightly to prove his point. "Now, how are we getting out of here?" 

"You're not!" Charity screeches, standing up with blazing eyes, her orange nails digging into her own palms as she stands. "I'll--I'm gonna kill ya both!" 

Simon suddenly tilts his head to the side, his lips pressing into a thin line. He's clearly listening hard, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, and Jace can't seem to tear his gaze away from the gentle dip between Simon's neck and shoulder. A soft curve that's supple enough to bite; he doesn't know if it's the bite or just himself that makes him want to.

"Yeah, actually, I don't think you're going to be able to do that," Simon tells her, abruptly relaxing back into Jace with a soft sigh. "A for effort, though." 

Charity looks so offended by that statement that it's nearly comical, but nothing compares to the expression on her face when the door bursts open and Izzy comes marching in, her whip at the ready. Shortly after, Luke and Maia follow, and Charity seems to lose all confidence in one fell swoop. 

"You two couldn't stay out of trouble if you were paid to," Maia comments dryly, surveying the room. 

"Who are you?" Charity snaps. 

"Their saviors," Luke tells her, his eyebrows raising as he nods to Simon and Jace. "And I'm guessing you're one of the captors?" 

"She's just human; someone can encanto her," Simon says wearily, his head tipping back to fall against Jace's, his shoulders slumping forward. He lets out a quiet sigh when Jace leans into him. "But first, can you guys unlock us, please?" 

Izzy offers a harsh look towards Charity, then a terse smile to Simon, and she says, "Don't worry about it, Simon, you'll both be out of here in no time." 

Jace hums quietly and lets the top of his head rest against the back of Simon's neck, his arms aching from their position. He doesn't really mind that their wrapped around Simon, but the chains aren't too comfortable. Fortunately, his hands fall away after a moment as Izzy works to unlock them. 

Simon scrambles off him almost instantly, and Jace pushes away from the pole, his body aching. He wonders vaguely how long they've been missing, where Alec is, why Clary isn't here. The effects of the vampire bite are wearing off, thankfully, so the fuzz in his brain is slowly fading. 

"Oh Jace, your... face," Simon blurts, whirling around and halting in horror. 

Ya know, now that Simon mentions it, Jace's face does feel pretty weird. Oddly enough, it feels full and stuffy--or, more accurately, swollen. It throbs to a steady, painful beat. He reaches up to touch his cheek, groaning in disdain when pain reverberates through his entire face from the softest press. 

"Ouch," Jace mumbles. 

"Were you drugged?" Izzy asks, leaning down to help him to his feet, holding him steady when he sways. 

Jace blinks. "Yeah, yeah, I was. The girl, she drugged me to get me here, but it wore off...I think." 

Maia snorts. "Oh, it definitely hasn't worn off." 

"That--that's my fault, actually," Simon murmurs awkwardly, swallowing thickly. "I...bit him." 

Three different heads whip around to gaze at Simon with different levels of incredulity, concern, and judgement. Simon averts his eyes and looks down at his feet, arms crossing tight to his chest. 

"Not his fault," Jace says quickly, fumbling for his stele. He needs to fix his face. "They made him." 

"They?" Maia asks, her eyes scanning the room. 

Simon clears his throat. "There was a vampire. Reginald. He seemed pretty old, Magnus might've knew him, but I'd never seen him before." 

"Was?" Luke asks, eyebrows raising. 

"I, uh, killed him," Simon croaks.

Jace waves his stele over his healing rune, pleased when the pain eases slightly. "Yeah, he just twisted his head clean off; it was awesome." 

There's a brief silence that Jace does not enjoy at all, so he coughs to disrupt it, then everyone is abruptly in motion. Luke starts talking to Charity quietly, Izzy and Maia confer in whispers before breaking away from each other, and then Maia is coming right for Jace, and it hurts to smile...but he tries. She rolls her eyes, but grasps his arm and starts to lead him away. 

"Ya know," Jace says casually, with just a hint of regret, "I never did find out if he dumped me." 

Maia pats his shoulder. "I'm sure you'll work that out after you're both home and not in imminent danger." 

Jace bobs his head. "Right, priorities." 

He's led outside and told firmly not to move from the backseat of Luke's SUV, which he figures is the best thing for him to do. He waits until Maia's slipped back inside to climb out and stumble over the gravel towards the line of trees across the knee-high field of grass. He really needs to pee, so he goes off to do just that, nearly tripping every other step. 

He does his business when he finds the perfect spot, only to be immediately lost when he turns back around to head back. But hell, he's got a weapon again, he's a Shadowhunter; he'll be fine. 

Distantly, he can hear his name being called. 

Jace isn't sure how long he stumbles around the forest, touching trees and and trying to find some sense of direction, but he knows when his inebriation genuinely starts coming to a close. He comes up to a small stream and decides it's best to wait for someone to find him, because his brain is beginning to work again. 

He looks down at his reflection. 

Well, that's not...good. 

By the Angel, his face looks terrible. Puffy and purple, it's swollen around his nose and eyes, discolored and slightly lumpy. There's dried blood around his own mouth, because that's ironic as hell, and his nose has flakes of blood on the tip. He grimaces and dips his hands into the stream to carefully wash away the blood on his face, cringing through the pain.

 He can't even imagine what he looked like before he used his stele. 

He uses it again, for good measure, but his stele can only do so much. It heals him, takes away the pain, but it can't fully take away the injury. It's why he still has scars, why his bones need a few weeks to heal, why bruises need a couple days to disappear. The good news, however, is that the swelling should go down in a few hours at least. 

"Jace?" 

Nearly falling off the stump, Jace whirls around to look at Simon in surprise. "Oh," he mutters, blinking slowly, "you found me." 

"Yeah, I did. Where'd you go?" 

"Had to piss." 

"Ah," Simon mumbles, wrinkling his nose as he shoves his hands into his pockets. "So, uh, do you feel any better?" 

Jace circles a finger near his head. "Coming down from the bite, if that's what you mean. I'm gonna be alright. You?" 

"Nothing happened to me," Simon says bitterly. 

"You broke your thumbs to get out of those chains, Simon. You--you killed Reginald, and you were kidnapped, and you were forced to bite me, again. Plenty happened to you." 

"I killed Reginald to keep him from killing you, and I'd do it again. I've been kidnapped so many times that I think I'm starting to get used to it. And--and I did bite you again, yes, but it harms you more than it does me. Compared to you, between your face, the bite, and everything else...nothing happened to me." 

Jace sighs. "We're not going to compare trauma, okay? We both went through hell. We're both concerned. It's fine, we're fine, we're gonna be fine. We just...need to go home." 

"Are we, though?" Simon bites his lip and looks down at Jace with a pinched expression. "I know we just narrowly escaped death again, but before we were taken...we weren't exactly on the best of terms." 

Now that Jace isn't depending on them to get along to survive, he doesn't really want to talk about this. Talking about it opens the door to ending it for good. And right now, Jace just wants to go home and rest up, not worry about whether he'll ever be able to kiss Simon again. If he even wants to. 

He's so confused. 

Sighing, Jace says, "Look, can we talk about this later? I just don't have the energy to deal with that, or this, or you right now." 

"We should talk about it. I tried to call you, but you didn't answer. And Magnus said for me to give you some time to cool off, but some time could be days, or weeks, or hours--I dunno. I just want to know what I'm supposed to be doing." 

Jace finds it slightly amusing that Simon goes to Magnus for advice on his relationship with Jace, while Jace goes to Alec for advice on Simon. There's a certain humorous symmetry to it that Jace appreciates, but he's not really in the laughing mood. For now, he just sighs and reaches up to touch gingerly at his tender face, wincing. 

"Simon, now's really not--" 

"Don't touch it." Simon darts over so quickly that the leaves on the ground barely rustle. He smacks Jace's hand away with a frown, dark brown eyes scanning his face. "I'll see if Magnus has a salve that can help speed up the healing process." 

Jace stares up at Simon, fixated on the dark rings of his eyes--they're unfairly mesmerizing. "I'll be fine." 

"I'll ask anyway," Simon mumbles, his gaze lifting to lock on Jace's, freezing there. They stare at each other for a moment too long, and Simon's breath punches out of him as he whispers, "What the fuck are we doing, Jace?" 

"We're just…" Jace gives up quickly, not entirely sure what's going on between them anymore, kinda wary to find out. "Maybe you were right from the beginning; maybe this was a bad idea." 

Simon swallows thickly. "Yeah," he says distractedly, undoubtedly not paying attention. "Can I…?" 

He gestures to Jace's face with both hands, holding them up uncertainly, and Jace finds himself nodding without even knowing what he's agreeing to. 

Simon gently reaches up to cradle Jace's cheeks with cool fingers, his touch feather-light. He holds Jace's gaze for a moment, then slowly leans in to place the softest of kisses on the space underneath his right eye. Jace's eyes flutter closed and he sighs softly as Simon lingers for a moment before carefully moving to the other side for yet another kiss. After a beat, Simon dips his head and kisses Jace on the mouth, a quick brushing of their dry lips, then he pulls away. 

"Simon…" Jace croaks, eyes opening slowly. 

With a trembling smile, Simon steps back and murmurs, "Let's go home, Jace." 

And without waiting for a reply, he turns around and starts leading them into the darkness between the trees. Jace bites his lip, ignores the pain in his face, and follows behind him. 

Chapter Text

"Again, you thought this would be a good idea, why?" 

Izzy whirls around so quickly that Jace actually takes a step back, leaning away from the force of her glare. She holds her finger up, eyes narrowed, and she points it between him and Alec in a way that frighteningly reminiscent to Maryse. Jace finds himself holding his hands up in surrender in perfect sync with Alec, just on instinct. 

"Because I said so," Izzy states sharply, dropping her hand and smoothing her skirt. "Now, we're all going to have a lovely night, and if either of you get in the way of that, I will personally make sure that your lives are hell. Clear?" 

Alec sighs. "Crystal." 

"Oh, I do love a woman who takes charge," Magnus says with a broad smile as he walks up the sidewalk, umbrella tucked under his arm. 

"Magnus!" Alec's entire face lights up, his cynical stance on this whole plan gone in a split second. He moves forward, leaning down to kiss the cheek that Magnus offers. "I thought you had business." 

Magnus flaps a hand lazily. "Oh, I did, but when Izzy came to me, I...sped up the process. You know I can't miss a party, darling." 

"That makes one of us," Jace mutters. 

Izzy shoots him a scolding look, and Alec--the traitor--no longer appears to be on his side. 

"So," Magnus says, "we're just waiting on--" 

"Me."

The breath in Jace's lungs escape him all at once as Clary approaches, her red hair blowing in the wind. She's got her hands stuffed into the pockets of her jacket, heeled-boots clicking up the cracked sidewalk, and her smile is small. She doesn't look at Jace, her focus on Izzy. 

"Among others," Izzy tells her, straightening up, her smile widening. "You actually dressed up." 

Clary chuckles and holds open her jacket by her pockets, revealing a green top. "Well, you asked me to, Izzy. What was I supposed to do, say no?" 

"Thank you," Izzy murmurs. Once she's within reach of Clary, she leans forward and steals a hug, her smile as bright as ever. "You look gorgeous." 

"You truly do, my dear," Magnus compliments, waving ringed fingers at her outfit. "The effort is certainly there. Just who are you trying to impress?" 

Clary's cheeks bloom in red. "Just, ya know, doing what Izzy asked me to." 

Magnus raises both eyebrows and reaches up to rub his fingers over the shell of his ear. "Mhm, I see." 

"Anyway," Clary blurts, casting her gaze around, skipping over Jace immediately and focusing on Alec in what must be desperation. "Alec, hey, you look--you look, um, great." 

Alec glances down at himself. "I wore this last week." 

"Isn't that my shirt?" Jace mumbles, eyebrows wrinkling in confusion. 

"Is it?" Alec asks with a frown, pinching the fabric between his fingers. "I can't remember." 

"This is painful," Magnus comments lightly. 

Izzy sighs heavily. "Clary, can you just--please?" 

"Fine. Fine." Clary rolls her eyes skyward, lips tipping down, then flicks her gaze to Jace. She stares at him for a moment, then mutters, "Hey." 

"Wow," Jace says flatly. "Glad you got that off your chest. Could see how much of a struggle it was."

Clary scowls. "You know what, Jace, I'm--" 

"Hey! Hey, I'm here!" Simon comes barreling around the corner, nearly tripping over his own feet, not even looking up as he rushes forward. "Jeez, you wouldn't believe the trouble I went through to find parking. Izzy, I didn't expect to--" 

Just then, for what must be the first time, Simon glances up. His smile freezes on his face as his eyes instantly fall on Jace and Clary. The smile slips until he's just sort of gaping at them, clearly at a loss about what to say. 

"Glad you could make it," Izzy says pleasantly. 

"Oh, joy," Alec mutters. 

Magnus smacks his shoulder lightly. 

"So, uh, when--when you said party, you meant a party with...everyone," Simon stutters, clearing his throat and shifting in place. 

Izzy's smile is practically a threat on Simon's life right now. "Yes. Is that a problem?" 

"No! No, no, nope. That's--that's...just fine," Simon replies, coughing into his fist. "Hi, um, everyone." 

"This," Magnus muses, "is going to be fun." 

"It is," Izzy agrees sharply, not at all playing along with Magnus' amused sarcasm. "We're all going to have a good night out, yes?" 

In unison, under the threat in her gaze, they all nod. 

There's a beat of awkward silence, and Jace spends as much of it as he can just staring at the ground. He tries to pretend that he's not surveying Simon out the corner of his eye, but he's fairly certain that he's failing. Alec keeps sending him knowing looks, at least. But Jace does try. 

Magnus was right about one thing; this is painful. 

Tutting in disapproval, Izzy sweeps her hand out towards the bar, then interlocks her arm through Clary's, practically dragging her inside. Magnus follows, and Alec is right at his side, both of them sharing stress-free smiles because they're not the ones in the awkward situation. Good for them. 

That leaves Jace no choice but to follow beside Simon, which is not fair. Simon doesn't handle awkward very well; he's like the mitosis of awkward, making it multiply without even meaning to. 

"Cold night out," Simon says, coughing needlessly again as they head towards the door. 

Jace sends him a blank look. "You don't feel the cold, Simon," he reminds him flatly. 

"Right, right." Simon clears his throat, then sends Jace a tight smile. "Right." 

Jace shakes his head and dips into the bar, lingering behind their crowd as Izzy talks to the hostess. Then, thankfully, they're being led through the large double doors, through the open bar full of laughter and clinking glasses, and towards another set of doors. The hostess leads them into a separate room with no other customers; there's a table to sit six in the middle, a bar with no one behind it off to the side, and another door that must lead into the kitchen by the sounds of the workers behind it. 

Izzy and Alec get to the chairs first, and Jace rushes to grab the last one open on their side. It's only after he's already sitting that he realizes his mistake. Magnus sits across from Alec, Clary takes the chair in front of Izzy, and that leaves the only open chair for Simon to be next to Clary...and opposite of Jace. 

Jace already wants to stab himself in the eye with his fork and he hasn't even ordered yet. 

"So," Simon speaks up, fiddling with his cloth napkin, throat bobbing, "how are...things?" 

"Things are fantastic," Magnus says, like he doesn't even notice the tension in the room. "I secured a very techy client tonight, one who's going to pay very well for services that I could do in my sleep." 

Simon perks up. "Oh, that's awesome. I, uh, kinda have good news too! You know that Cafe closer to downtown? The one with the graffiti?" 

"I do," Clary says. "They made it into a mural instead of painting over it. I tagged it, remember?" 

"Yeah, we were...what, fifteen?" Simon grins at her, eyes sparking with mirth. "I thought Luke was going to arrest you when he found the cans of spray paint." 

"Mom freaked," Clary says with a snort. 

"Yeah, Jocelyn was pretty--" 

"So, the news?" Jace bursts out, his chest pinching with discomfort. 

Simon blinks. "Oh, right! Yeah, so they're giving me a solid gig--or, a temporary one at least. They need someone for the next six weeks, twice a week, only two sets. I did one and they asked me back." 

"Simon, that's amazing!" Clary explodes happily, leaning over to grasp him in a hug. 

Jace ducks his head and smiles as everyone goes about congratulating him, even Alec--though, he does so begrudgingly. There's a solid starburst of warmth in Jace's chest at the news, something flickering with pride and approval. It is good news, very good, and he's honestly happy for him. 

"You should all come and see me play!" Simon's getting more animated in his excitement, looking around hopefully. "I'll even pay for your coffee." 

"Of course," Clary agrees instantly. "We'll be there." 

"Woah, I never--" Alec coughs sharply, his leg jerking back like he'd just been kicked under the table. By the gritted smile he shoots Magnus, that's exactly what happened. "Right, whatever." 

"Oh, it'll be so much fun!" Izzy leans forward, her eyes bright with excitement. "I wonder how the mundies will like it." 

"Hopefully a lot. I'd definitely feel better with some familiar faces in the crowd." He goes quiet for a moment, then fixes his gaze on Jace. "You'll come too, right? I--I mean, you don't have to, but I just… I guess I'd like it if--well, if you wanted to, you could...um, you know--" 

"Simon," Jace says firmly, "I'll be there." 

"Oh." Simon grins. "Great. No, yeah, good." 

Clary rolls her eyes. 

Fortunately, the night takes off after that. Izzy has the whole thing set up, so it's no surprise that it's actually very nice. They have their own personal bartender, some music drifting through the room, and food on the way. Plus, there's blood on tap, so Simon gets to eat with them. Or, drink. Whatever. 

Despite the tension, they all manage to relax enough to have a good night. Clary mostly ignores Jace, caught up with talking to Izzy and Simon, laughing when Magnus regales one of his stories. Alec is a great parabatai because he spends most of the night splitting his attention between Magnus and making sure Jace has someone to talk to. Simon, for the most part, just talks at everyone, not getting caught up in one single conversation, but Jace isn't blind. He notices each time that Simon glances at him; it's a reassuringly large amount. 

Magnus goes off on a tangent about a heist he got caught up in nearly fifty years ago in Rome--he's technically still wanted. Over the entirety of the meal, he tells his story, and Jace has to admit that he gets sucked into it. 

"And you rode the horse over the rooftops?" Jace blurts out incredulously. 

Magnus spreads his hands. "Not without trouble, I assure you. Horses don't take kindly to being shot at, so you can imagine the struggle it was to jump from rooftop to rooftop with bullets raining down." 

Simon, who's equally enraptured, asks, "Did the horse live? Please tell me the horse lived?" 

"Oh, of course." Magnus lays his fork down on his empty plate. "It was very loyal and got me from one side of the city to the other faster than the cars that followed me. If not for that horse, I probably would have been arrested." 

"As if that would've stuck," Alec says with a snort, his smile wide and proud. 

Magnus winks at Alec. "Well, that's true. I'm not one to be chained up." 

Izzy cackles. "Unless you're in the mood to be, right?"

"Now, that's a question you'll have to ask Alec, I'm afraid," Magnus replies, lips curling up. 

Jace chuckles quietly, only to jerk in his seat when a hand reaches in front of him. The waiter gives an apologetic smile and takes his plate. 

"I didn't mean to startle you," he says. 

"Oh, it's fine," Jace says politely, sitting up so the waiter can grab another dish. "Thank you." 

The waiter smiles and blinks slow, leaning a bit too close. "It's my pleasure," he tells Jace, his voice dipping low as he insists, "really." 

"Oh...okay," Jace replies carefully. 

The waiter taps his nametag with his free hand. "My name is Victor. You let me know if you need anything. Anything at all." 

Jace nods. "Yeah, thanks, Victor." 

With that, Victor sweeps away, his hands full of dishes and his eyes not straying from Jace. When he disappears back into the kitchen, Jace focuses back on the conversation, only to find everyone staring at him. It's oddly quiet, and Jace gets the impression that he's missed something. 

"Victor seems nice," Magnus comments, lips twitching like he's laughing at some inside joke. 

"I guess," Jace says, shrugging. He fully expects the conversation to pick back up, but it stays silent, and he's not really sure what the fuck is going on. "Uh, am I missing something? What?" 

"Nothing," Simon says quickly, that one word sharp like a whip in the silence. "It's--it was nothing. Anyway, Magnus? Continue." 

And so, on it goes. 

Dessert comes out a little later. Simon orders another drink, possibly just to have something while everyone enjoys their last part of the meal. Jace is looking forward to his cheesecake, though he'd never admit it, but he can't help but sit up in anticipation when he sees it being brought out. 

Victor passes out the plates, all charm and smiles, and the last tray he hands out is for Jace. This smile, however, is a bit warmer and familiar. "For you," he tells Jace. "I hope you enjoy it." 

"Oh, I will," Jace tells him, already reaching for his fork, eyes fixated on the cheesecake. 

"A fan of cheesecake, huh?" Victor tilts his head, eyes crinkling with his laugh. "Sweet tooth?" 

Jace shrugs slightly, looking up at him. "Who doesn't like sweets? Everybody loves sweets." 

"That's true. And what else?" 

"What do you mean?" 

Victor blinks, still smiling. "What other things do you enjoy besides sweets?" 

"Oh, um." Jace freezes, not entirely sure what to tell a Warlock waiter who's probably been around long enough to have more hobbies than Jace has thoughts. He blinks rapidly and says, "Just, y'know, the usual Shadowhunter stuff." 

"No, no, what do you enjoy? I know what your job is, and I'm sure you're very good at it." 

"Oh, well, I do try my best." 

Victor laughs, reaching out to touch Jace's arm lightly, the golden veins beneath his skin one of the coolest Warlock marks that Jace has ever seen. His fingers linger. "So, tell me, Shadowhunter, what do you do in your free time?" 

Before Jace can answer, Victor is called away by another waiter, and he leaves with a reluctant wave. Jace picks up his fork and proceeds to try and take a bite. Try being the key word; he doesn't get very far because Izzy clears her throat pointedly, making him look up to find everyone staring at him. 

Simon's nearly bent a fork in half, which is really weird; he doesn't even need a fork. 

"Okay, seriously, what?" 

"Victor," Alec tells him, rolling his eyes. "Come on, even I noticed that." 

Jace frowns. "Noticed what?" 

"Well, besides the fact that he's angling for a hefty tip, he's also doing his best to flirt with you," Magnus informs him casually. 

"Wait, seriously?" Jace cranes his head back, eyebrows raising as he stares at the door Victor disappeared through. He blinks in surprise, processing that. "Huh." 

"Didn't you notice?" Magnus asks, emphasizing each word with the widening of his eyes, like he's trying to tell Jace something. 

Jace shrugs. "No, not really. He was just being nice. But I mean, if you say so. That checks out." 

Alec facepalms. 

"Just eat your dessert," Izzy huffs. 

The last part of the meal is thrown back into awkwardness. Jace is ninety-five percent sure that it's his fault somehow, but he can't parse out what the fuck he did. Izzy looks ready to drown herself in her wine glass, Alec shakes his head in regular intervals, Simon glares at the tabletop, and Clary glares at Jace. Magnus is the only one who seems to find all of this amusing, while Jace is left confused as fuck. 

Victor makes his grand return to grab plates, and this time, Jace pays attention. 

Victor is definitely flirting. 

Jace has no idea what to do with that. He does his best to continue on like he has no idea that he's being flirted with and a part of him despises that Magnus told him at all. And Victor is very charismatic, gathering knowledge on Jace while slipping bits and pieces of information on himself. Victor is a Warlock who's only twenty-five, who wants to be a Lawyer one day, and has an undeniably beautiful Warlock mark. 

Victor, however, is way off his mark. 

See, the thing is...Jace has no clue whether he's single or not. He and Simon still haven't talked, and before now, he hasn't been in the mood to. It becomes apparent by this entire situation that he's made a mistake by drawing it out. Because, while the three bent forks from Simon would suggest that he's not single, Jace has no confirmation on that. 

Jace blows out a breath of relief when Victor finally goes back into the kitchen, and he's so thankful that the night is almost over. Izzy immediately snatches that relief from him by standing up and asking the bartender to turn up the music. 

"Simon?" Izzy asks, holding out her hand. 

The eagerness in which Simon takes Izzy's hand is almost comical. They head towards the floor a few feet from the table, and Alec looks ready to crawl into a hole and die when Magnus demands they dance too. But he's not one to refuse Magnus much because he does drag himself to his feet to go stumble around awkwardly with very red cheeks. 

Which leaves Jace with Clary. 

This is fine. 

"Dance with me," Clary says abruptly, pushing to her feet and arching an eyebrow in challenge. 

Jace sighs. "Yeah, sure." 

No one's really standing too close together. Izzy and Simon are talking softly, laughing when she twirls him playfully. Magnus and Alec aren't doing much dancing; it actually looks like Magnus is trying to teach Alec how to move smoothly. Jace has no idea how Clary wants to do this, or even why, but she clearly has a game plan because she hooks her arms around his neck and makes them sway--it's a strange paradox with her face set in a scowl. 

Clary huffs quietly. "Look, I know you think--" 

"I'm sorry." Jace watches her mouth snap shut, her eyes flicking up to his face. "I am, okay? About not telling you that we're not related, about the things I said, about expecting Simon to keep it to himself. I know I was wrong and I'm just… I'm sorry."

"Oh, you do not get to do that." Clary looks even more angry, which makes no sense. "I was going to apologize first; that's not fair." 

Jace blinks. "Wait, what?" 

"Yeah," Clary mutters, grimacing. "I shouldn't have been so...harsh, I guess. Simon's not just my best friend; that's not his sole purpose in life. And I get why you didn't tell me. I think, if it had been me, I might've kept it to myself for awhile too." 

"I probably could have been less of an asshole about all of it," Jace suggests. 

Clary's face crinkles. "Yeah, probably." 

"And you could have too." 

"You got me there." 

"Are we good?" Jace asks, raising his eyebrows. 

"Yeah," Clary murmurs, "we're good." 

A knot loosens in his chest, unraveling slightly and making it a bit easier to breathe. A weight he hadn't even been aware of lifts off his chest at her easy reply, and he finds himself smiling when she relaxes in his arms and leans her head on his shoulder. They sway for a long moment in complete silence, and Jace lets his chin rest on the top of her head. 

"Well, that's the battle half-won," Jace mutters when Clary pulls back to look at him. 

"About that." Clary jerks her head in the general direction of Izzy and Simon. "I don't really know all the details, but I think you should know that I--I really like Izzy. Like...more than I liked you. So, if you're worried about me and Simon--" 

"I'm not," Jace says quickly. "I don't know if I ever was. I don't get jealous, Clary." 

Clary raises both eyebrows. "That's such bullshit." 

"It's really not." 

"You can lie to yourself if you want, even if it's incredibly unhealthy, but you can't lie to me about something I already know. Believe it or not, I see the way you look at him, Jace. You look at him like you looked at me, except there's no...strain. So, whatever you two are fighting about, you need to fix it." 

"We're not--" 

"Simon's not exactly subtle, Jace. I know you two have been on outs. Why?" 

Jace purses his lips in consideration, then decides that withholding information has only gotten him into trouble up to this point. "You, actually. Not--not because there's feelings, or jealousy, or…" 

"Or?" Clary presses. 

Jace swallows and spins them in a circle to give him more time to form an answer. But he doesn't know, not yet, and he has no choice but to face it head on. Speak it into existence and figure it out that way. Because, to be honest, Jace has no fucking clue why he was so upset about what Simon did. 

"It's just… I don't know. I guess I fooled myself into thinking that I was important to him. We've been kidnapped--not once, but twice now--and I figured that we'd...gotten closer." Jace grimaces at his own honesty, not pleased with how whiny that complaint comes off. "When I fucked up, I tried to fix it, but he ran off to you like I--like it didn't even matter. Maybe I don't want to live in a perpetual state of envy." 

Clary rears back, halting them, her eyes wide. "Oh, wow. You--you really love him." 

"No." Jace frowns. "No, I--" 

"Jace, you just admitted that you envy me. Not for anything but the bond I have with Simon. It's not an issue with me, or even an issue with him loving me as much as he does, but it's the fact that you're worried you won't get that same level of love. And you want more too, because you love him, because you want it in return." 

"I don't love him," Jace says firmly. He takes a deep breath and tugs them back into swaying. "I don't." 

"So, why are you so scared to break up with him?" 

"I'm not--wait, who told you--" 

Clary bites her bottom lip. "Simon does tell me things, you know." 

Jace's eyes widen. "He thinks I'm scared to--to--" 

"No, no, he just--he said that you don't want to talk about anything, or clear the air." Clary digs her nails into Jace's shoulders as he leans away. "I know you well enough to read between the lines. You're worried that if you two face this, then you'll both go your separate ways." 

"It's not like that. I just don't think that this little spat is a good enough reason to call it quits." 

"Okay, that's fair. But Jace...is there any reason you can think of that's good enough?" 

Jace blinks. "Well, yeah. That's easy. A good reason to call it quits is if we want to, Clary." 

Clary levels with him a pitying expression. "Yeah, that makes sense, except for the part where neither of you want to." 

Jace opens his mouth to reply, then finds no words rising to the occasion. He slowly shuts his mouth, swallowing around the lump in his throat. For all the loopholes they'd come up with, he never expected one to come back and bite him in the ass. 

Shit. 

This is not good. So not good. 

No matter what Clary may believe, Jace knows for certain that he doesn't love Simon. That's one thing that he hasn't screwed up, one he has no plans to. That's an unforeseen circumstance that he has all senses tuned to, unwilling to fuck around and fall into that trap. Just because things are good, just because he and Simon are happy, does not mean it's love. Jace has felt love, felt it for the very girl in his arms, and this isn't that. 

Still, he doesn't know how to explain the situation to Clary in a way that will make sense. Now that he thinks about it, getting into a casual relationship with Simon to parse out their feelings for Clary was possibly the stupidest thing they could've done. She definitely won't get it, which is fair because Jace doesn't really get it himself. 

And it was his idea. 

"Our time's almost up," Izzy calls out, pulling Simon out of a dip that makes his hair stick up wildly. 

"Oh, thank the Angel," Alec blurts, pulling away from Magnus with a sigh of relief. 

Clary pulls back from Jace, offering him a genuine smile. "Just think about what I said." 

"Like I'll be able to do anything else," Jace replies sardonically, which earns him a snort. 

They converge in the middle, gathering their things from the table, and Jace feels a lot better when he slips into his coat. Clary no longer avoids his gaze, the tension has eased, and things are looking up. He actually starts to think that he'll get out of this night without any other problems. 

A mistake, of course. 

Victor appears out of nowhere as they're heading to the door, and Jace offers him a smile before he remembers why he should not do that. Honestly, he has way too much on his mind--between Clary and Simon--to be worrying about a flirty guy. 

"Hey, before you go," Victor says, snagging his sleeve with a shameless smile, "I just wanted to give you something. Is that okay?" 

In his head, Jace chants, please be a flirtation in the form of an extra piece of cheesecake. Out loud, he clears his throat and says, "Uh, sure." 

Victor holds out a napkin and winks. "Call me sometime, Shadowhunter. I think I'll be able to help you find something else you'll enjoy." 

"That won't be necessary," Simon says loudly, crossing the room in between one blink and the next, reaching out to snag the napkin from Victor's fingers. When Simon smiles, his fangs are visible to everyone. "He's got all the help he needs." 

"Oh, is that so?" Victor asks, eyebrows raising up in an obvious challenge. He reaches out to snatch the napkin back, offering it to Jace yet again. "Pardon me, Vampire, but I don't think I was talking to you. Maybe he needs more help than you can give him." 

Jace opens his mouth, but Simon cuts him off. "He really doesn't, but thanks." 

"I'm pretty sure it's his decision if he wants to take my number or not," Victor replies sharply, all niceties gone, just like that. 

"Um, well, actually--" 

Simon's hand darts forward and plucks the napkin from Victor's fingers yet again. "Trust me, buddy, he doesn't want it. Take a fucking hint." 

"Oh, I have been," Victor says pointedly. "All night, in fact. All signs point to him wanting it." 

Jace clears his throat. "Well, I don't--" 

"Then you can't read," Simon grinds out, jerking his hand back when Victor reaches for the napkin. "Let me help you out. He doesn't need more things to enjoy, or anymore hobbies, or your number. So--" 

"And who are you to speak for him?" Victor challenges harshly, eyes narrowing. 

And here, Simon fumbles. His fangs slide away with a little snick and he blinks rapidly. It looks, horrifyingly enough, as if someone has kicked his puppy. Jace doesn't like the flash of discomfort and uncertainty on his face, and he sure as hell isn't going to stand for it. 

"My boyfriend," Jace says smoothly, reaching out to take the napkin from Simon's hands, holding it out to Victor with a frown. "And he's right. I really don't want it; I have all the help and enjoyment I need." 

Victor's lips part in surprise, his eyes widening as his skin darkens with embarrassment, and Jace almost feels bad as he grabs the napkin and practically flees back into the kitchen. He doesn't really, though, if only for the little smirk on Simon's face. 

"That was incredibly entertaining," Magnus says from beside the door, laughing brightly. 

"Excuse us," Simon says distractedly, clamping his hand down on the crook of Jace's elbow, tugging him towards the door. 

Jace protests feebly, not too comfortable with being manhandled so openly, but Simon doesn't even slow down. When they slip past the rest of their group, Jace shrugs in bewilderment while they all laugh at him--great friends and family he's got, really. Simon strongarms him out the room, through the open area full of customers, and right out the front door. They step into the cool night, but Simon doesn't appear to be breaking stride. 

"Simon, what the fuck? Where are we going? Hey, where are we--" 

Jace finds out a few moments later when his back collides with the cold metal of Simon's van, parked around the corner near an alley that smells strongly of garbage. He barely has time to orient himself before Simon's hands smack against the glass of the van on either side of Jace's head. 

"Did you mean it?" 

Jace blinks. "What? Simon, what are you fucking talking about? Why did you drag me out here?" 

"Did you?" Simon echoes, staring at Jace with a strange intensity. "What you said to him, did you mean it? It wasn't a joke, right? You weren't just playing along so I wouldn't look like a dumbass?" 

"You always look like a--" 

"Jace, did you mean it?" 

Jace swallows thickly. "Yeah, I--yeah." 

Simon releases a shaky breath, his gaze never straying from Jace's. "We're going to talk. We are, because we need to. But for right now… Right now." 

"Right now?" Jace repeats slowly, not getting it. 

"Right now," Simon says, nodding. 

There's no mistaking what he's getting at when he shuffles closer, arms bent at the elbows, so close their noses nearly brush. Jace feels as if he's been punched right in the gut, and his chest twinges as if someone's suddenly grasped each lung in his hand with the sole intention of squeezing. He exhales slowly, tongue darting out to lick his lips, careless to the sting of the cold air. 

Simon's eyes track the moment. "Right now," he orders again, his voice the softest of whispers, and Jace s swears he can taste the words. 

He's not entirely sure when he decides to make a move, but he abruptly finds his hands raising to delve into Simon's hair, tugging his head forward to eradicate the already small space between their mouths. For a split second, they both just go still, freezing from that one touch, and then they're a flurry of movement. 

Simon's hands slide into Jace's jacket, grabbing the cloth of his shirt at his sides and yanking them close together. Jace locks his fingers into Simon's soft hair, fully intending to never let go, and tries to ignore the wounded sound that his traitorous throat lets escape. It doesn't matter, Simon likes it, and they're still kissing feverishly. That's enough, more than enough. 

Jace curls in as close as possible, letting his body do all the work. He's forgotten how good this is, and he has no recollection of why that's a bad thing--it can't be bad, it's fucking perfect. His mind is cloudy, his lips caught in tandem with Simon's, and he is the farthest from being in control that he's ever been.

It's liberating. 

Simon backs him up against the van again, with a little more force this time, wordlessly telling him to stop arching away. Jace makes a small sound of discontent when Simon breaks their kiss, but the sound dissolves into a low moan when Simon's lips latch onto the underside of his jaw. Tilting his head back, Jace blinks open his eyes and stares hazily up at the sky with no stars because Brooklyn isn't known for its light pollution for no reason. But he doesn't give a fuck about that; the sky could be on fire right now, and Jace still wouldn't care. 

Right now, his entire focus is on Simon's lips trailing towards his pulse-point, latching on and sucking like he wants to bring the blood to the surface. Jace knows that he shouldn't think it, certainly shouldn't say it, but he would let Simon bite him right here and now. The mere thought feels like a naughty secret. 

"You can," Jace chokes out, eyes fluttering closed yet again. He barely knows what he's saying. "You really can, I'll let you." 

"I know," Simon murmurs near his ear, teeth nipping gently at his earlobe. "I can, but I won't. I never will again, I swear it." 

"Okay. Yeah, okay. Just--just don't stop whatever you're doing," Jace mumbles carelessly, fingers twisting restlessly in Simon's hair. 

Simon chuckles and--like the asshole he is--does the exact opposite of what Jace has asked. "This really isn't the time or place for--" 

"I literally don't give a fuck," Jace says plainly, dropping his chin to stare at Simon. 

"Relax. Hey, just...calm down," Simon says with a soft laugh. He leans in and kisses Jace again, this time soft and slow, a gentle press of lips that eventually turns into short pecks. The mood settles itself, and Simon pulls back to smile. "Good?" 

Jace blinks, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm--I'm fine. You?"

"I'm perfect," Simon chirps, and he really is. 

Simon is stupidly pretty at night, dark eyes nearly black, skin pale, hair utterly perfect in the exact opposite way that Jace's hair is. Tonight, here and now, he looks ethereal and otherworldly, the glint in his eyes like a fucking beacon. Jace wants to kiss him again, wants to kiss him for as long as he can get away with, but he's settled enough now to realize that's not the rational route to take. 

"They're going to be looking for us." Jace runs his thumb over Simon's temple. "We should--" 

"Yeah," Simon agrees, smiling widely as he backs up, releasing Jace. "Don't fix your hair." 

Jace frowns. "What, why not?" 

"Maybe we'll run into Victor," Simon says smugly, shrugging in self-satisfied fashion. 

"You're ridiculous, you know that?" Jace asks with a snort, shaking his head. 

"Yeah, maybe. But that's besides the point. We still need to talk, you know. Come home with me tonight? I'll drive us," Simon suggests hopefully. 

"Simon, if I go home with you tonight, I can't promise that I won't do everything in my power to have sex with you," Jace tells him bluntly. 

Simon's eyes go wide. "Shit, Jace, you can't just say things like that!" 

"Why?" 

"Because I'll want you to come with me more." 

"Glad we're on the same page." 

"And you call me ridiculous. Get your head out of the gutter, man. We really should talk." 

Jace nods. "Fine, just...not at yours. Or not tonight. You can't just slam a guy around like that, Simon. It leaves a hell of a lot more to be desired, and I mean that in the literal sense." 

Simon snorts. "Okay, fair enough. Tomorrow, we talk. I mean it. Promise me." 

"What are we? Five?" Jace rolls his eyes when Simon arches an eyebrow. "Okay, I promise, or whatever. Now, let's go before they think we're fucking." 

Simon shakes his head, but he also reaches out to grab Jace's hand, tugging him back towards where they left the others. And though they haven't talked everything through, Jace lets him thread their fingers together, staying connected even when they don't really need to. Not a word was exchanged, not really, but Jace has a feeling they're going to be alright. 

Call it a hunch. 

Chapter Text

"You must really love him." 

Jace freezes half-way into shrugging his way into his jacket. Izzy is looking through his closet, one hand caught on the fabric of one of Simon's hoodies. How he got that is a funny story, actually. He'd ended up at Simon's--awhile before their fight--and had forgotten his jacket, so Simon had just let him borrow one of his well-worn hoodies. 

It smells like Simon's cologne. 

Jace rolls his eyes. "Ha, you're so funny. Just because I have one of Simon's hoodies doesn't--" 

"You hung it up." Izzy turns around, crossing her arms and peering at him with a frown. "You don't even hang up your coat. You just throw it over the back of a chair, or wad it up and sit it on your dresser. But you hung his hoodie up." 

"So?" Jace mutters defensively. 

Izzy arches an eyebrow. "So, you care about it. You don't want it to get wrinkles. You hung it up in your closet because you have no intentions of giving it back. It has a place with your stuff now. It--it means something. You really love him." 

She is the second person to tell him that. 

"Izzy, guys don't think like that, okay? It's not that deep." Jace shoves his hands into his jacket pockets and frowns at her as he starts towards the door. She catches his arm, halting him. "What now?" 

"Where are you going?" Izzy asks. 

"Simon's," Jace replies, narrowing his eyes. "We have some stuff to talk about. Is that okay?" 

Izzy purses her lips. "Take him his hoodie back, since it's not that deep." 

Jace goes still, not moving for a solid ten seconds. His eyes find the hoodie hanging innocencously among his nicest shirts and jackets. It almost seems out of place--the green sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the array of black and grey. It's been there for a couple of weeks now, so he's used to it. 

"I don't have anything to prove." Jace tugs his arm from Izzy's grip a little forcefully. "I don't really get why you're suddenly stuck on this." 

"I just noticed, that's all," Izzy murmurs, her eyes softening. "And I know you, Jace. You're--you ignore your own feelings until they're too much to ignore, and then you're freaked out by the sheer force of them. I don't want you to sabotage you and Simon by accident; you two are so...happy." 

"Why don't you focus on your own relationship problems instead of fixating on mine?" Jace snaps, raising both eyebrows at her. "Don't forget, I know you just as well as you know me, and you're practically the queen of trying to fix other people's problems so you won't have to admit that you have some too. Think about that." 

Izzy's eyes narrow. "Maybe you're right, but that means I am too." 

Jace scoffs. "I'm not doing this with you. Whatever issues you're having with your personal love-life, you can turn your energy on that, and leave me alone. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a boyfriend to go get back." 

With a huff, Jace marches out of his room, leaving Izzy standing there with a frown marring her face. 

Jace doesn't get very far. 

"Where do you think you're going?" Alec asks, swinging around the corner and halting Jace right in his tracks. His eyebrows are doing that downward twitch of disapproval that means Jace is already fucking up somehow, but what else is new? 

"Um...Simon's?" Jace gestures vaguely at the front door that's oh so close, yet so far. "Is that okay with you, almighty leader, or--" 

Alec waves a hand. "Actually, it's not okay. You do have a job, you remember that, right?" 

"I--yes, okay. What is it? Mission?" Jace huffs a deep sigh of frustration. "I'll go handle it, then I'll need some time off. It's important, okay? Just give anything else that passes your desk to the new recruits, or someone, I don't care." 

Alec stares at him. The moment stretches for a long time in silence, and Jace begins to get uncomfortable. Alec just keeps looking at him, eyes fixated on Jace like he's never seen him before. It's unnerving to say in the least. Jace eventually can't take it and clears his throat, prompting Alec to say something; anything would be welcomed at this point. 

"Jace, you've never said those words in your entire life. In fact, you told me, and I quote, 'the day I say the new recruits should go on one of my missions is the day the demons take over,' and you meant it. You just don't willingly give up mission." 

"Well, Alec, I kind of have stuff to do. It's not that--"

"You really love him." Alec blinks, looking stunned by that, and he clocks in as the third person to tell him that within the last two days. 

Jace releases a heavy sigh. "By the Angel, it's not that serious. I just have priorities to--" 

"And when has anything come before mission?" Alec challenges, eyebrows raising. 

"You do, Izzy does, and Clary too," Jace replies sharply, crossing his arms and holding his ground. 

Alec bobs his head. "And now, Simon does too. Fun fact, out of all of us, he's the one you're in a relationship with. Call me crazy, but--" 

"Fine, you're crazy," Jace cuts him off, slicing a hand through the air. "I don't know what's gotten into you or our sister, but making insane jumps to prove I love Simon is ridiculous." 

"Izzy's at a slight disadvantage, but she's rarely wrong. And you seem to forget that I'm your parabatai, you idiot." Alec reaches down to tap the rune pointedly, eyebrows doing a different twitching thing that means he's on the verge of smacking Jace over his head. "Out of everyone, I have the insight to be making these claims. If other people are doing it, it's because you're more obvious than you think." 

"Okay, you know what, this is not that big of a deal, and I'm not going to argue about it. Just--just tell me what I have to do," Jace says firmly. 

Alec shakes his head and releases a deep breath, lips pressing into a thin line for a brief moment. "Fine. Fine, if you want to live in denial, it's not my job to evict you. I need you to go to Magnus' and go with him to exchange his product with his client. Be careful, the client is a bit...unstable, and that's by Magnus' standards." 

"Wait, you're not going?" Jace asks slowly. 

"I would, but I need to go handle a different client that's kicking up a fuss because Magnus refused to finish a service on the terms that it's dangerously close to breaking the accords. I need to go investigate that, and Magnus said you should be threatening enough on your own--and if you weren't, between the two of you, he would get handled." 

"Huh. Well, that makes sense. Wait, are you going alone to investigate? That doesn't seem like a one-person kind of mission." 

Alec shrugs. "It's not; I'm taking Izzy and Clary. No offense, but they're better at discussion than you." 

Jace can't really argue with that. He's not exactly the listening type and usually the first to goad someone into fighting. No reason not to, he never loses. 

"Alright, fine. Call me if anything goes wrong." 

"You know I will. Question is, will you be too busy with Simon to answer?" 

"Oh, fuck off," Jace snaps. 

Alec snorts as he turns and leaves. 

Jace pockets his phone after texting Simon, apologizing for being late, and pauses outside the door to Magnus' loft. He waits to see if he'll get a reply, only to remember that he can leave as soon as this job gets done. Without hesitation, he knocks once sharply in warning--a farce, of course--and barges in without waiting for an answer. 

Magnus' head pops up from behind his bar, a pen sticking out of his mouth. He blinks at Jace and pulls the pen free. "Oh good, you're here. We have a few moments until the appointment. Do you mind helping me with this?" 

Jace raises both eyebrows and heads towards Magnus, leaning over the bar when Magnus ducks back down to grab little jars full of things he'd rather not know the origin of. He's not exactly sure what's being asked of him, but Magnus has helped them so many times that it'd just be rude to refuse. He pauses to check his phone again--no reply--and clears his throat when Magnus simply stares at him. 

"What, uh, do you need exactly?" Jace asks warily, wrinkling his nose at the jars. 

Magnus tsks. "Packaging. Not every part of my job is glamorous, but oh how it pays. Do me a favor, grab the box by the table." 

Jace shrugs and goes off to do that. He quietly helps Magnus with the mundane task, silently wondering why he doesn't just use his magic, but then again, it's none of his business. So, he shuts up and retrieves boxes, reluctantly helping pack away different things in various jars. Magnus, of course, doesn't do anything simply; he dances as he moves, every limb flowing like liquid, muttering under his breath as he divvies everything up where they're meant to go. 

Then, they're done, just like that. Magnus' face lights up and he claps his hands once in what must be a celebratory gesture. Then, he glances at his watch and smiles wider. "Well, you were very helpful, thank you. We still have ten minutes to spare. Would you like a drink?" 

"Nah, I'm good." Jace clears his throat when Magnus looks at him in surprise. "I don't drink that much anymore." 

He really doesn't. He only drinks in a party setting, never so casually, and definitely not when he's in a shitty mood. 

"You...don't?" Magnus asks slowly. 

"Well, Simon's not really a fan," Jace mutters, clearing his throat and looking to the ground. 

There's a brief pause, and Jace wants to claw his own eyes out. He knows what comes next, has already dealt with it three times--twice today. It's a notable shift in the air, a heavier silence full of realization, and it grates on his nerves. Sure enough, when he glances up, Magnus has an expression like a lightbulb has suddenly turned on in his mind. 

Magnus predictably says, "You really love him." 

Three strikes, you're out. 

"Why does everyone keep saying that? The fact that I quit drinking does not mean I love him!" Jace explodes, tossing his hands up. 

"Hey, don't yell at me because I'm honest," Magnus retorts, holding both hands up in surrender. "But you're right; quitting drinking has nothing to do with love. I mean, you could have stopped simply because you respect him and unconsciously realize that using drinking as coping isn't very healthy." 

"Wait," Jace challenges, "aren't you an alcoholic?" 

Magnus waves a hand. "We're talking about you right now, Jace." 

"Okay, so you agree?" 

"Well, by half. I was mostly noting how it was him that mattered enough to push you to change for the healthier. Not to mention, you've checked your phone over fifteen times in the last twenty minutes; I'll wager a guess that you're waiting on him to text you, yes?" Magnus explains smoothly. 

Jace blinks at him. "You're so lucky Alec loves you." 

Magnus beams. "Quite so. And I'm sure Simon feels the same to be a recipient of your love." 

"I'm not--it's-- I don't love him, okay?" Jace swallows thickly and frowns at Magnus. "I don't." 

"Well...if you're sure," Magnus replies, smiling politely, though his eyes flash with mirth. "You are sure, aren't you?" 

"Yes, I'm sure. I know when I'm in love with someone, okay?" 

"Of course, because we're all so refined and self-aware enough to recognize that so clearly from the beginning. It definitely never surprises anyone." 

"You...are an asshole." 

Magnus flicks his fingers through the air. "Never denied it." He stops talking when Jace's phone pings into the room and smiles when Jace freezes as if he's just been caught. "Well, aren't you going to answer that? It could be important." 

Magnus' expression dares Jace to prove him right. 

Jace grits his teeth, holding position, just staring at Magnus in challenge. It could be Simon, or not, and if it is...so what? He's not going to rush to talk to Simon, that only makes it look worse, and he's not fucking in love. He's just not; he knows it. 

The phone pings again, just once more, and Jace's resolve breaks. Maybe it is important; seriously, that's why he looks. It turns out to be Simon after all, simply saying there isn't any rush and he'll be waiting for Jace to come over. Which, that's a relief. Jace doesn't want to screw up any plans he might've had for the day simply because he forgot he's a Shadowhunter with a job to do. 

When Jace looks up, Magnus looks triumphant. 

"Oh, shut up, you don't even know who it was," Jace snaps, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. 

Magnus hums. "Oh, but it's a bet I'd be willing to take. Allow me to guess. That was Simon, yes?" 

"It was, but it could have been anyone." 

"Not by the smile on your face, it couldn't." 

Jace points at him. "Stop talking. We have a job to do, don't we? Can we just...do that, please?" 

Magnus grins and his fingers spark as he summons a portal. "Oh, certainly. I've always been a fan of avoidance as well." 

Jace scowls and gestures to the portal, huffing as Magnus steps through with him. 

Well, that went about as good as it could have. The client had taken one look at Jace and nearly tripped over his own feet to pay Magnus. Some irrational fear of blonds, or something. 

Whatever, the point is, it worked. 

So, Jace quickly bids Magnus farewell in the shape of his middle finger, which Magnus cheerfully returns with a knowing glint in his eyes as he calls after him, "Have fun with Simon!" 

Jace checks in with Alec on the way, but doesn't get a response. For a split second, he's really worried. As adept as his family is, he can't help but want to be there with them, protecting them. But he reminds himself that Alec, Izzy, and Clary--in equal measure--would kick his ass for even thinking that. They're fine, they'll look out for each other, they'll come home, and Jace doesn't need to worry. 

He forces that concern from his mind and heads to Simon's, which only opens up the space in his mind to freak the fuck out over everyone thinking he's in love with the dork. He isn't, he definitely isn't. 

But...there is a huge difference between mass confusion and coincidence. Unfortunately for him, this particular phenomenon doesn't appear to be either of those things. In fact, it's beginning to seem like everyone knows something and he's just the last to find out--which fucking sucks, considering it's his own feelings that he's apparently late to. 

Jace isn't stupid enough to fall in love with Simon. It seems forever ago now, but they'd agreed to casually date and nothing more. This isn't a situation where love is welcome, and Jace sure as hell won't be the first to invite it. 

Maybe he's a little attached, he'll allow that. But, to be fair, he has a reason for all of that. Everything has been so stressful lately, he and Simon have been kidnapped together twice, and there's drama around every corner. Simon's about the only thing that feels...calm. Being with him is nice, relaxing, comforting. 

And yet, everyone seems to look at the casual way they're having a fine time and see something that Jace just can't. If it was just Clary, he might've been able to ignore it. But it's Izzy, it's Magnus, it's even Alec--his literal parabatai, who knows him better than he knows himself. 

Jace knew when Alec fell for Magnus. He remembers feeling it. He remembers how special it had felt, how he'd accidentally cradled that feeling close before remembering that it wasn't his to hold onto. Alec loves Magnus so gently, so fiercely, and it needs to be protected, even as it protects them. Jace hasn't ever told Alec--though he's sure that he knows by now--but Jace visits that pulse of love sometimes when he's too far into his own head. He pulls it up like it's the easiest thing in the world; and as Alec's parabatai, it is. He has just as much access as Alec does and he exploits it, sometimes relaxing into the tender love that Alec feels for Magnus, sinking into the sheer force of it. 

Jace knows for a fact that Alec had fallen in love before he'd ever realized it. 

Jace doesn't even remember the last time that he's visited that feeling. Probably before he was kidnapped with Simon the first time, but since? Actually, now that he thinks about it…

He halts in his tracks, throat bobbing. "Oh hell no." 

"Excuse me?" A woman looks up from the bench that Jace has just stopped in front of. "What did you--" 

"Um, sorry. I--I wasn't talking to you," Jace replies quickly, hurrying up the street with the woman scowling after him. 

It takes him a little longer to get go Simon's, and by the time he gets there, he has a plan set in stone. This has to end, for real this time. No more casual dating, not another kiss, not even hanging out--or, at least, not alone. Because--and here's the thing--Jace absolutely refuses to fall in love with Simon. 

He's not going to do it. The others think he already has, but he's positive that's not true. What he can't be sure of, however, is that it won't happen while he's not paying attention. No, nope, fuck that. 

It's time for the breakup, and Jace won't let anything stop him from doing it. 

They're kissing. Why are they kissing? This is not the plan, this is the exact opposite of the plan! 

What was the plan?

It's a little fuzzy now, but Jace makes a valiant effort to recall how they ended up here. He arrived, Simon invited him in, they talked for a moment about nothing important. Then, Jace had opened his mouth to say something important--what it was, he has no fucking clue--and Simon had asked for a kiss, just a short one. Why Simon asked, Jace doesn't know. Why Jace had complied, no one will ever know, certainly not him. And then, the kiss got heated, as they do, and now they're here. 

Here being horizontal on the bed with Simon straddling him and kissing him so thoroughly that it's a wonder that Jace can even remember his name. 

"Wait, wait," Simon suddenly blurts out, snatching up and away with a dazed look in his eyes. "We should--we need to talk, right?" 

Suddenly, Jace feels a gut-wrenching slam of worry at the mere thought of talking, but he doesn't really know why. Still a little foggy from the kiss, Jace decides to trust his instincts and do everything in his power to steer them away from conversation. Which makes sense; talking is usually a bad thing. 

"Nah, let's not," Jace mutters, almost fucking slurring his words. 

He surges back up to kiss Simon yet again, humming as the receding fog comes back as thick as ever, taking any sense of worry with it. Everything in his mind stops and it's up to his body to call the shots, which Jace fully agrees with; his body has never let him down before. Well, not usually. 

This, as it turns out, ends up being a brilliant fucking idea. Not only because they're kissing again, but because Simon sucks in a sharp breath and doesn't pull away anymore. About fucking time. 

Jace's chest heaves with effort, his lungs and heart working double time as Simon latches onto his throat, sucking hard but never breaking the skin. A part of Jace wants him to, aches for him to, but that part gets smaller by the second. Instead, an entirely different part of him--one that's undeniable due to a natural bodily response (his dick, he's thinking about his dick, why can't he fucking think )--takes over all common sense and insists that he stop caring whether Simon will bite him or not and start fixating on whether they're going to have sex or not. 

Which...fair. 

He gets his answer startlingly quick. With a low groan, Simon breaks away to kiss Jace yet again, his hands moving from the bed to shove at Jace's shirt, trying to take it off without ever breaking their kiss. Jace makes the sacrifice and pulls away, lifting his hips and leaning up to yank at his shirt. Simon helps him with it because he's nice like that. 

"Oh my g--" 

"Shut up, just--just touch me." 

Simon's eyes bulge as he stares at Jace's torso, looking properly stunned, but he does as he's asked. His cold fingers dig into Jace's sides, pushing him back on the bed with force, and Simon looks pleased by the oomph that Jace releases in response. Then, Simon gets his mouth on his chest, and Jace can barely breathe, let alone make a sound. 

Jace is ultimately surprised by Simon's...confidence? Apparently, when it comes to sex, Simon doesn't have a scrap of awkwardness in his body. Even when they knock elbows, or have to reposition, or hear people yelling about Chinese food in the too-near distance...Simon simply chuckles like it's nothing to even linger on, continuing with what he's doing without an ounce of shame. 

The fact that the only place Simon isn't awkward at is in bed is somehow one-part sexy as fuck and one-part endearing as shit. Simon also seems to know what he's doing, so Jace is immensely pleased with that too. 

Then comes the moment where they have to figure out what they're actually doing. Jace is happy to let Simon work that out, relinquishing the power of it, and in turn, forgoing the need to be in charge. Simon, thankfully, takes to being in charge like a fish takes to water--he's right a home, amazingly enough. 

"I'm going to give you a blowjob," Simon tells him without even a hint of embarrassment. 

It's not posed as a question, but Jace is well aware that Simon wouldn't if he said no. That's why, when Simon's fingers land on his belt, Jace bites his bottom lip and lifts his hips up. 

Simon goes slow. Calmly and carefully strips him of first, his pants and second, his underwear. He never picks up pace, never slows down, just keeps the same speed as he gets Jace naked. He starts to lean down, settling between Jace's knees, eyes fixated on his target, but Jace reaches down and catches his shoulder. Simon blinks and looks up. 

"Are you going to stay dressed?" Jace blurts out, blinking dazedly, doing his best not to mentally will away the distance between his dick and Simon's mouth, to--as expected--no avail. 

Simon stares at Jace. "Would you feel more comfortable if I didn't?" 

For some reason, the way Simon asks that question makes Jace feel the beginnings of heat rise on his throat, blush slowly crawling towards his cheeks. It's asked so...so careful, and something about Simon wanting to do things that make Jace feel cared for is just...well, it's fucking enchanting, is what it is. And it leaves Jace breathless for a moment. 

But Simon raises an impatient eyebrow, and Jace scrambles to answer, "Yeah, I mean--yeah. Skin on skin is--it's nice." 

"Okay." Simon immediately picks himself up and goes about removing his clothes one article at a time, the pace the exact same as when he did this to Jace. 

Jace has always known that Simon's attractive, and that's with clothes on. He's got the dimples, the dark eyes, the fluffy curls of hair, the slightly broad shoulders, the slim hips, and the brightest fucking smile Jace has ever seen. He's undeniably solid and sturdy, especially after becoming a vampire, but Jace had no idea he was so…

To put it plainly, Simon's fucking hot. 

Which, ya know, makes sense in the overall scheme of things. Simon would be. All those times that Jace had thrown cheap shots, and here Simon is, looking fucking pretty and being fucking enticing. Nothing like Jace is, which is an entirely different allure, but no less potent. 

Honestly, who the fuck does Simon think he is? 

"You're literally perfect, what the fuck," Jace says flatly, eyes locked onto the soft V of Simon's hips as his lips tip down. 

Simon snorts. "Okay, Apollo, whatever you say." 

"Who's--" 

Jace swallows his words when Simon finally rids himself of his underwear, completely careless to the fact that Jace has nearly swallowed his tongue at the sight of another dick. Full disclosure, Jace has seen other dicks; this is not new. 

Simon's, however, is…

"I know." Simon glances down at his own dick, shrugging slightly. "It still works, though." 

Jace hasn't ever had sex with a male vampire before. Well, he came close, but got called away before anything could happen. This is the first time he's seeing a vampire dick, and frankly, it's...different. Pale, very pale, and lacking much pigmentation or veins, and utterly smooth--not a hair in sight. How he's even got a boner is a mystery. 

All Jace says is, "Yours is bigger than mine." 

Simon grins. "Vampirism didn't change the size, I can promise you that." 

"Is it cold?" Jace asks curiously, then immediately reaches out to wrap his hand around it. 

Simon hisses through his teeth, eyes fluttering closed, and Jace is instantly enraptured by the sight. Sure, Simon's dick is a little weird, and it's cool to the touch--not cold, thankfully--but Jace doesn't really care about that. He's fucked a Warlock who'd spelled his dick to change colors for laughs, which was pretty funny, actually. The point is, being with someone in any form--sexually, romantically, or platonically--isn't about what they look like; you're either into them, or you're not, and your body will let you know.

Jace's body is trimming with energy, a neon sign letting him know in no uncertain terms that he's very much into Simon, into his body, into the mere thought of what's to come. And for Jace, that's all that matters. 

Swallowing, Jace starts sliding his hand back and forth, working over the head and twisting his hand on the way down, tightening his grip somewhere new until he finds the spot that Simon likes the most. If Jace puts enough pressure just below the head of Simon's dick as he pushes his hand down, Simon will shiver all over, his head tipping back. It is, quite frankly, enough to make Jace's mouth go dry. 

"I--oh fuck. Jace, I was supposed to--oh, that's really fuckin' nice--" Simon reaches down and grips Jace's thigh, bracing himself so he can rock forward into Jace's hand, groaning low in his throat as he does. 

Jace doesn't even want to blink. "You can, you definitely can, but me first." 

Simon snaps open his eyes at that, and Jace flashes him a smile. He clearly doesn't expect Jace to sit up and scoot back, flopping over to his side and leaning forward to wrap his lips around his dick. He doesn't see it coming, but he sure as hell doesn't stop it from happening. All he does is reach down to drag his fingers into Jace's long hair, fisting a handful, and moan softly. 

Jace is okay with that. 

In fact, Jace is okay with a lot of things. He likes sex, has always liked sex, and there's a reason for that. It usually gives him the space to let loose. A lot of people take one look at him, at how strong he is, how in control he is, and they want to just fuck him up. It's an instinctual thing, possibly, or maybe Jace just knows who to look for. 

The people that look at him and want to take him apart, want to tear him down, want to take the power he has right from him. They want to top, or they pin him down, or they tell him what to do. And Jace? He fucking likes it. There's something freeing about putting all the control on someone else, letting them work out whether he should be choked during sex, whether he should come now or not at all, whether he gets to do something or he doesn't. 

So, Jace reaches up and presses on the back of Simon's hand, wordlessly encouraging him. Simon doesn't really need any explanation; he just uses the fistful of Jace's hair to hold him still, then rocks in and out of Jace's waiting mouth. 

Jace closes his eyes, breathes through his nose, and digs his nails into Simon's hairless thighs. 

"You're obscenely good at this," Simon states breathlessly, picking up pace. "Shit, your mouth." 

Jace groans, nose wrinkling when a gag starts up at the back of his throat. Simon doesn't slow down, doesn't stop, and he uses his free hand to brush it over Jace's cheeks, shushing him and praising him in senseless whispers. 

"I--I don't come," Simon stutters, his hips going really fast now. "I mean, I do, but--but not a lot. You won't really have to swallow. Just--oh fuck--just keep doing… You're doing so good." 

Jace opens his eyes at that, the legible praise like starburst of warmth in his chest, pride filling him without any warning whatsoever. He's insanely lightheaded, jaw aching, nose running, and yet...he's never felt so fucking good. Jace knows when Simon's going to come; it's hard to miss. Fangs unsheathe with their usual snick, but they're immediately tucked away as Simon's eyes fly open. 

They make eye contact. 

Jace has no idea what passes between them, but whatever it is...it's fucking heady. It pushes Simon over the edge, and Jace holds his breath as the dick currently pressing in towards the back of his throat goes very still and twitches twice. Like Simon had said, there's not much to swallow, just a lingering taste of come, and Jace coughs around the taste as Simon pulls out. His throat is raw already, but Jace doesn't really mind. 

"Yeah?" Jace asks dizzily, blinking the spots out of his vision, his head swimming. 

Simon tuts. "Fucking yeah. Now, stay in that current mental state. I'm about to change your life." 

Jace can't help it; he grins dazedly at the ceiling of the boat house as Simon helps him flop onto his back. He loves hearing shit like that during sex. Nine times out of ten, that means he's lucked out and found a partner that actually wants to be in control, someone who genuinely enjoys leaving him a bit of a mess after all's said and done. Sometimes, people don't really deliver, but Jace has a feeling Simon will. 

Simon delivers. 

For some reason, as an established fan of sex, Jace has never considered the implications of someone who doesn't need to breathe giving him a blowjob. Frankly, that's a missed opportunity. 

Like a gentleman, Simon kisses his thighs before squirming up to get head level with Jace's bobbing dick. Jace picks his head up to watch, waiting for his life to be changed, and he grunts softly when Simon lightly licks a stripe up Jace's dick. Despite Simon's external temperature being that of a person with very low circulation, especially after he hasn't fed in awhile, his internal temperature is exquisite. The inside of his mouth is hot and wet, and Jace clenches his fists into the sheets as Simon wraps his lips around the head, suckling gently. 

Then, without preamble, Simon swallows all of Jace's length in one fell swoop, his nose hitting the blond curls at the base of his dick. 

Jace makes a sound that resembles a wounded animal more than anything and tosses his head back, wheezing in a short breath as he gapes unseeingly up at the ceiling. There is tight, wet, heat encompassing all of Jace's length, like the world's best glove--one that fits mind-blowingly well. And maybe that analogy makes zero sense, but Jace can barely focus enough to keep himself breathing, so cut him some slack. This is, without a doubt, changing his life. 

Simon does that over and over, pulling off with a comical pop, then swallowing him down without any resistance. It short-circuits Jace's brain in two seconds flat, and the sensation is almost too much. His body curls in response, fists clenching the sheet so tight that it pops off the corners of the mattress, his legs shaking so hard that Simon has to hold them still. Over and over, just...deepthroating; Jace can feel the back of Simon's throat every time. 

Somehow, despite the change in position, Simon is still completely running this entire operation. He pins Jace's hips to the bed, fingers holding hard enough to bruise but never hurt, and when Jace is close to coming, Simon abruptly stops. 

"Not yet," Simon tells him. 

Jace makes a small sound. "I--I can't. I need--" 

"You can, I know you can. Not yet, Jace." 

"Fuck, fuck, f-- Oh fuck!" 

Simon is ruthless, bringing Jace to the brink over and over, stopping right on the precipice. Jace is so gone from his own head that anything could happen right now and he wouldn't care. His phone could be ringing, or the world could be ending, or he could be dying; it honestly wouldn't matter. He's so wrapped up in trying not to come, in feeling each sensation as it slams into him and builds, that he's barely aware of the shit that falls out of his own mouth. 

Each time Simon stops while Jace keens low in his throat, he praises him. "Not yet, Jace. You're doing really good. Just a bit more. Look at you, you're a fucking wreck." 

Jace is very much a wreck and he knows it. His whole body is pulled so taut that it's a wonder he doesn't shatter apart. If he opens his eyes, he goes dizzy--whether from the struggle of breathing, or the sheer amount he's feeling, he doesn't know. He gasps whatever his lungs can handle, which isn't much, only to immediately wheeze the air right back out through a tight throat. He's pretty sure his vocabulary has been reduced to curses, moans, and Simon's name. That, or pleading. 

And when everything feels like it's too much, just on the edge of painful, and Jace feels brittle... he finds himself begging--a thing he's never been pushed to do during sex. He's not even embarrassed. Better yet, something about the begging must please Simon because this time, he doesn't stop. In fact, when Jace is close to coming, he speeds up and sinks his mouth all the way down, holding there and swallowing. 

Jace comes with a hoarse shout, eyes flying open, and his entire body rattles. His eyes sink closed as he settles, and that's it. 

That's it. 

Jace floats. 

"Hey, are you back with me?" 

Jace's entire body hums. He can feel his lips curling up and he laughs quietly to himself. There's a sigh--a fond noise--and then cool fingers sweep over his forehead. Jace likes that a lot. 

"You should drink something." 

That plucks at something in Jace's mind. He blinks open his eyes, coming face-to-face with Simon. For a moment, he just stares at him. But then, he takes stock of himself. Turns out, he is not on a cloud, he isn't even naked, and his mouth is incredibly dry. 

Jace squints at Simon. "You put on my clothes?" 

"Yeah, I didn't want you to get cold." Simon sits up slightly to reach over to the makeshift nightstand on the side, grabbing a glass of water and holding it out to Jace. "Seriously, drink this." 

"Yeah, okay," Jace agrees, pushing himself up on one elbow and complying without much thought. He drains the entire glass, heaving a deep sigh of relief as he passes the glass back. "Thanks." 

"How are you feeling?" Simon asks, eyes flicking over Jace's form in open concern. 

"I'm--I'm pretty good, actually," Jace admits, then blinks. Amazing orgasms apparently loosen his tongue; that was the perfect spot to throw in a playful insult. "That was...um." 

Simon snorts. "Yeah, it was. Do you have any idea what just happened to you?"

"A miracle?" Jace suggests. 

"No, we just walked a very thin line near BDSM territory. You've been in a kind of trance for the last half-hour," Simon explains slowly. 

Jace stares at him. "I--wait, what?" 

"Okay, so it's not-- That's not what it was. It just closely resembles it. It definitely wasn't subspace because that wasn't a scene, but you were definitely in a trance." Simon swallows and fiddles with the empty glass in his hands. "Why didn't you tell me that you liked those kind of things?" 

"What kind of things?"