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Mac’s hand touches his when Dennis pushes open the door.
He pulls back immediately, muttering a sorry, and Dennis waits a beat anyway. For what?
‘No problem,’ Dennis says as he leads the way into the apartment. He toes off his shoes, trying to work out whose fault that was. Mac had leaned in, hadn’t he – or had Dennis waited until he was too close, until the clash was inevitable? Until he could feel Mac as a solid line of heat down his back.
He drops his keys in the dish with enough force for it to make a difference, in silence that deep. Mac’s gone bashful, scratching the back of his neck like a fucking teenager on prom date. Christ.
‘Long night,’ Dennis makes himself say, purely for something to do with the ball of anxious energy in his stomach. He wishes he hadn’t put his keys down, had something to toss from hand to hand.
‘Yeah.’ Mac smiles at him. Back to hesitant again. He’s drifted too far away now, outside the sphere of Dennis’s immediate personal space. It makes Dennis’s fingers clench with wanting to drag him back in. It’s all Mac’s fault. Make yourself indispensable to someone, you’re not allowed to be surprised when they ask for what they need.
Dennis’s throat clicks when he swallows. Mac’s just staring down at his feet like he’s waiting to be dismissed.
‘I guess we should get to bed,’ he says. He trails off the way Dennis hates, stretching the sentence into an awkward moment they have to ride out. He always did suck at initiating anything, even when he was at his bossiest. Too scared of rejection.
God, it’s been so fucking long since Dennis even considered this an option. Is that why he’s so receptive to it tonight, so much less pissed off than usual? Or can he trust the way it feels this time, more like a question than a plea?
Dennis clears his throat. ‘Yeah, I guess.’
Mac’s hair looks fucking stupid all slicked down like that. He looks like a child squeezed into clothes three sizes too small, biceps busting out of his shirt. Ridiculous. But then that’s always been confusing to the point of pain; how Mac can pop his eyes so wide like that, so innocent, even in the middle of doing something really fucking adult. He used to look like that when he was sucking Dennis’s dick.
Dennis bites his lip. Mac knew, back in Guigino’s. He knew what Dennis wanted, and he did it. Has he forgotten, now? But he can’t have. It was in the car with them, the whole ride home.
‘So I’ll –’ Mac gestures towards his room before his hands meet back in front of his body, twisting his fingers together. He makes no move to actually go.
‘Or,’ Dennis says slowly.
There’s a pause.
‘Or what?’ Mac prompts.
Dennis sighs, his nostrils flaring. ‘Or you could – we could.’ He clears his throat again and raises his eyebrows. It’s been a long fucking time but that’s a pretty clear signal, if he remembers rightly. Used to get Mac going like Dennis’d shoved his fingers into a wall socket, once upon a time.
Mac’s eyes practically bug out of his head.
‘What, you –’ A beat while Mac stares at him. He shoves his hands into his pockets and then immediately pulls them out again. His voice comes out a little high. ‘You actually want to?’
Dennis rolls his eyes. ‘Where the fuck were you during dinner?’ Yes, I want to, asshole.’
Mac swallows, the bob of his throat ridiculous as his eyes rake over Dennis’s body. He wants everything, that was always his problem. He wants so much of Dennis that he doesn’t even know where to start.
‘Come here,’ Dennis says, in a tone of voice like he’s tugging on Mac’s tie, and when Mac gets close enough, that’s exactly what he does.
When their lips touch they make almost identical sounds of relief, which is so fucking embarrassing that Dennis puts more force into the kiss just to try and escape it, screwing his eyes shut against the pressure. Mac’s body, always so solid and so fucking warm, has slid sideways into fucking pornographic since the last time they did this, and it’s – it’s different, hard and hot where he used to be softer. Arms bulky but without that layer of fat covering the muscle; Dennis remembers when he could pillow on Mac’s bicep for hours and never feel the need to lift his head.
Mac winds his arms around Dennis tight, pulls him in against a harder chest. It’s different, still good. You could give him Mac from any time of day or year and Dennis would still find something to want.
Dennis breathes in hard through his nose so he doesn’t have to break the kiss and Mac lets him tilt his head to go deeper, put Mac just where he wants him. He messes up Mac’s hair so it’s not all slicked down anymore, at least as much as he can do with just his hands. It’s going to look ridiculous when he pulls back, stuck up from every angle, and Dennis’ll love that, too. The innate comedy of sex. Maybe that’ll offset how much he wants it, but from past experience he’d have to say not. Being wrapped up in Mac’s arms always fucked him up good, every time. Dennis had – he’d hated it, God. How all Mac had to do was hold him and Dennis’d just go soft for it, pliable. Melt into the fucking ground. It never seemed to cost Mac anything, when it was costing Dennis so much.
Mac licks into his mouth, dirty and wet, and Dennis can hear himself responding to it, still making way too much noise. He’s clutching Mac’s head like he thinks they’re about to get dragged apart. It’s been so fucking long.
He pulls back and breathes against Mac’s downturned face. More like panting, really. Mac lets him do it, gives him a second. His hands are roving over the small of Dennis’s back, bunching up his shirt. They’re shaking. The tension in his body is unreal. Maybe he doesn’t believe they’ll be allowed to stay like this, either.
Dennis swallows and tilts Mac’s head up to look at him. He had something he was going to say but it flies right out of his head at the expression on Mac’s face. He kisses him again for lack of anything better to give, and then he starts trying to drag him towards the bedroom.
Mac doesn’t get it at first. He mistakes it for Dennis pulling away and his hands tighten on Dennis’s back, almost panicked. It sends a pang through Dennis’s chest but he shoves it down, down.
‘Come on,’ he says, still breathing too hard. He kisses Mac on the cheek, on the nose, holding his face in his hands. ‘Please.’
It’s a risk, breaking out please so early. You don’t want to deploy it without due cause, just in case you diminish its value. Dennis doesn’t want to wind up begging before they’ve even got to requisite stage of sex for begging to be appropriate. But he feels like being sweet tonight. Maybe not sweet in a way anyone else would understand, but for them. Mac wants to be needed; Dennis can give him that.
It’s not like it’s much of a fucking stretch.
Mac reacts to it like Dennis lodged a hook in his mouth, jolting. His body goes still with sudden intent and Dennis braces for it, muscle memory kicking in before he even realises what’s happening – Mac’s hands sliding down to his ass and gripping firm, hefting him up. Dennis’s legs wrap instinctively around his waist, tilting forward to keep their balance. Mac holds the weight easily, fingers spreading across his ass cheeks to get a better grip.
Dennis gives a startled laugh once he’s up there, blinking down at Mac’s face; they haven’t done this for at least a decade. There hasn’t been anything like this, not for years.
Mac watches him, not laughing. Just holding Dennis there like that, patiently. Dennis stares down at him, running his fingers through the hair at the back of Mac’s neck.
‘If you drop me again, I’m gonna bite your dick off,’ he says. His voice is shaky.
‘I won’t drop you,’ Mac says with certainty.
Dennis swallows. ‘That’s what you said before.’
Mac squints at him. ‘It’s like ten feet to the bed.’
‘Then fucking carry me there,’ Dennis tells him, and Mac does it.
He takes small steps, presumably for the sake of Dennis’s blood pressure. When they get there Mac doesn’t just dump him on the bed in a heap but lays him down gently and follows him, the smooth roll of his body making Dennis moan into his mouth, curve up into it. Jesus, he’s learned some moves. Since when? Who else has he been fucking? No, no, Dennis isn’t going to go there, not right now.
‘Get off, get your shirt off,’ Dennis mumbles, running his hands over Mac’s shoulders, stupid fucking polo shirt. The tie keeps falling in his face.
Mac ignores him; Dennis’s mouth’s is open so wide and wet from kissing that it takes no effort at all for Mac to get back into it, stroking his tongue inside hot and slow. Dennis groans, shoving his hips up. He’s not really helping, anyway; his legs are still wrapped around Mac’s waist. He knows he needs to undo that in order for Mac to take his clothes off, but his ankles feel like they belong crossed in the small of Mac’s back. They used to fuck in this position a lot, even more than they used to do it from behind. Dennis liked the way he could rub his dick against Mac’s stomach while Mac struggled not to come first. He used to grind down in slow rolls of his hips and watch the way it made Mac’s face change. He made the funniest expressions during sex. It was the best part, aside from being so close to him.
He doesn’t look funny right now. He’s just staring at Dennis with this manically intense expression on his face.
‘I said, get your shirt off,’ Dennis says, louder. ‘What, are you deaf?’
‘I –’ Mac starts and then closes his mouth, his face flushing bright red.
‘What?’ Dennis asks suspiciously. ‘What is it?’
Mac shakes his head, biting his lip. He rears back up onto his knees, sudden whoosh of air making Dennis shiver hard. He’s about to complain when Mac yanks off his tie and starts pulling his shirt over his head. His hair really is all messed up, still half dried with gel and poking out at weird angles. His pants are stretched over his thighs from this angle, his dick an obvious hard line.
Dennis stares at it, his hands stilling on the buttons of his own shirt. It doesn’t fucking matter that they’re both over forty now, does it? He’d thought it might make a difference to how much – he’d thought something might have changed. But if anything, he just wants it more.
Mac makes a sound in the back of his throat and knocks Dennis’s hands aside, unceremoniously pulling his shirt up over his head. He grabs Dennis’s wrists and uses them to shove Dennis back on the bed again, crawling up over him.
Dennis’s whole body rears up into it, he can’t help himself. He wraps his legs back around Mac’s waist and gives a solid thrust up. Mac groans, dropping his head and thrusting down to meet him, cock dragging against Dennis’s erection even through the material of their pants.
‘Fuck,’ Dennis bites off, consonants clicking. God, he can’t fucking breathe. Has Mac always been this heavy? No, is the obvious answer. Or maybe Dennis just forgot how it feels to be held in place by his weight.
‘Okay?’ Mac pants, nibbling around under Dennis’s ear, going for that spot on his neck where – where it makes his stomach go tight, fuck. Mac remembers. He remembers that.
‘Yeah, yeah,’ Dennis gets out breathlessly. ‘C’mon, side drawer, get the – I want you inside.’
Mac kisses him then, hard and kind of mean, like that was dirty pool. Which – it kind of was, so. Fair.
He only pulls back because Dennis pushes him, puts real force behind it. He wants fucked, and he wants it soon. He knows Mac thinks he used to want it fast because he was trying to outrun how much it scared him, but that was only ever half true, and it isn’t true at all, right now. There are some things Dennis wants even more than he wants to run away.
Mac rifles around the nightstand while Dennis pulls off the rest of his clothes and throws them over the side of the bed. When Mac turns back around he stills, staring at Dennis.
‘What?’ Dennis asks, gut clenching. He knows he doesn’t look as good as when they last did this, but that was years ago, and it can’t – it can’t be so bad that Mac’ll want to stop, can it? Surely they couldn’t get so far for him to turn them back. It makes Dennis want to curl up hard on the bed even thinking about it.
‘You’re too thin,’ Mac tells him, crawling back over him and briskly slicking up his fingers. ‘You need to eat more.’
Dennis feels his face shutter.
‘You don’t like it, you can go somewhere else,’ he snaps, even as he lets Mac shoulder his legs open.
Mac rolls his eyes. ‘Don’t talk shit,’ he says shortly. ‘You know I fucking like it.’
He ducks down without warning and flicks his tongue out over Dennis’s nipple, watching his face.
Dennis sucks in a breath, hand shooting down to squeeze the base of his cock. It’s hard to stop touching himself once he’s down there and Mac doesn’t even look like he wants Dennis to, his eyes locked on Dennis’s fingers around his dick. He’s still holding the bottle of lube, his fingers all slicked up and stalled in mid-air. Dennis slides his hand up and down his cock once, twice, to check, can’t help moaning a little. He rolls his hips up into it, makes it good. Mac’s lips part. Yeah, it’s good.
‘You want it, you need to finger me,’ Dennis reminds him, voice getting higher the more he jerks himself off. Mac always liked that, when he could hear how turned on Dennis was. It wasn’t something Dennis had to fake, just something that happened on its own. That was the best of it, the reason it had worked so well for so long – the way they got hot just doing what felt natural, ricocheting off each other’s need.
Mac squares his shoulders and shakes his head, looking a little dazed. He drops the bottle of lube and shuffles down the bed, absently palming his dick with his un-lubed up hand.
He moans when he gets down between Dennis’s legs and pushes his thighs further apart – honest to God moans out loud with nothing touching his dick, just from looking.
‘Your skin gets so hot down here,’ he says, his voice all tight and worked up as he lets a fingertip gently screw into Dennis’s hole. Dennis fights hard not to just immediately shove down against it, get Mac in there up to the knuckle. If he starts out that slutty for it then there’s nowhere to go but down, and they’re both so close to the edge as it is, that won’t help. It just makes him squirm around so much when Mac teases like this, that gentle pressure on his nerves flickering up through his stomach while he jerks himself off, thumbing the wet head of his dick. It’s too much. He makes his hand still, panting as he claps his other hand to his forehead. Mac continues, sounding almost worshipful. ‘So hot it almost hurts, you know? And your thighs, you get – all red, God, Dennis.’
He ducks his head down and licks up the length of Dennis’s dick, in between Dennis’s fingers, letting it get nasty and wet. Dennis whines and shoves his other hand down into Mac’s hair, pulling Mac up and off.
‘Don’t make me fucking come,’ he demands. Mac stares at him, cheeks flushed and eyes glassy. ‘Not yet. You know I want it when you’re inside me, don’t pretend you don’t.’
It’s always better when Mac’s inside. Dennis can’t take a lot of fucking after he comes but he likes to stretch it out beforehand for as long as he can, make Mac work those hips in little circling movements to skim against his prostate and really build him up. It can make him cry, if they do it right. The day they discovered how hard Dennis can get off on prostate stimulation is up there with Dennis’s top ten sober memories.
Mac pushes up into the pressure of Dennis’s hand, his eyes hot and heavy-lidded. Dennis clenches his fingers just to see what Mac will do. He hisses, shifting on his knees before the look on his face gets mean. He sinks his finger deeper inside Dennis, slow and slick, not too fast but never pulling back under the unrelenting pressure. He watches Dennis the whole time like he knows Dennis’s game and he’s good at playing it, too.
That’s not as true as Mac wants it to be but it still makes Dennis catch his breath, anyway. It’s ridiculous, being so hard off this. Watching Mac watch him get hot, the feedback loop. Thinking about the way Mac’s fucked him before, how good he got at knowing when to ease off so Dennis could drag it out for longer, wring them both out to dry.
That was another thing about it; knowing somebody so well, it made the sex better. Dennis had hated finding out that was true. a
‘Come on,’ he says, almost whining again. His throat feels rough when he swallows, dry as a fucking bone. ‘You can give me more than one, c’mon.’
‘You’re tight,’ Mac says, strained. Dennis’s hand slips from his hair and he brushes a kiss across Dennis’s palm as it goes. ‘I’m trying, dude. How long’s it been since you did this?’
‘I don’t know,’ Dennis says, rolling his eyes. ‘How long’s it been since you last fucked me?’
Mac doesn’t say anything for a minute. He keeps his eyes on what he’s doing, easing another finger inside, stroking around gently until he hits that spot, mouth flickering in a smile when he hears Dennis pull in a sharp breath. God. God. It’s never the same, when it’s someone else’s hand.
‘No one else since then?’ Mac asks, trying so hard to keep his voice casual that he might as well be wearing a sign.
Dennis’s cheeks flare hot. ‘Who else?’ he snaps. ‘Who else would I –’
He shuts his mouth but it’s too late; Mac looks so fucking happy he’s clearly already figured out the end of that sentence. Which is pretty hilarious, considering Dennis doesn’t even know what he was going to say.
‘You don’t have a toy?’ Mac asks, soft and contemplative. When Dennis meets his gaze, it’s horribly gentle. Ready and waiting to give him an out. ‘You should. Just in case, you know. You deserve it, Den. You should have what you like.’
Dennis swallows. If he can’t have Mac, he doesn’t get what he likes. Not really.
‘Enough,’ he says, abruptly. ‘I’m ready. You can do it, come on.’
Mac eyes him. ‘Yeah, looks good from here too,’ he says drily. ‘I know it’s been a while, man, but my cock’s bigger than two fingers. Give me some fucking credit.’
‘I want to feel it,’ Dennis goads him, because he knows well enough how that works.
Mac’s jaw tightens but he doesn’t fall for it. He leans down again instead, slowly – slow enough for Dennis to stop him if he wanted – and sucks the head of Dennis’s cock into his mouth, so careful and reverent Dennis doesn’t have the capacity to resist the intrusion of his third finger. Mac’s honing in on his prostate with every thrust now, but it’s not quite enough. He’s brushing against it with deliberate softness, trying to work Dennis up into whining before he even gets his cock inside, because he’s a shithead.
‘Jesus,’ Dennis pants, throwing his head back. His hand’s clenched in Mac’s hair again. Why even fight it? Mac’s moaning around his cock, sounding desperate every time Dennis exerts even the slightest pressure. It’s like getting a contact high, hearing him turn on like this. ‘Mac, you can do it now, can’t you? Come on, you can, you can do it, baby, I’m ready, please –’
Mac pulls off and swears. He has to stand up to take off his pants – still wearing pants, Jesus Christ – wait, what the –
‘Are you still wearing your fucking shoes?’ Dennis asks, his voice rough and startled. ‘Did you just fingerbang me with your shoes on?’
‘What?’ Mac asks, pulling them off. ‘It’s not like it affected the process.’
He’s stripping so quickly that he looks like he’s about to fall over. His face is red, so flushed and focused that Dennis’s hand just kind of drifts down to his cock again without him even meaning to do it. He gives himself a few slow strokes while Mac watches him, his mouth dropping open at the sight.
Dennis shifts around. ‘Mac, c’mon,’ he pleads, not even a hint of a sass or sarcasm or any other fucking thing. He just wants it. He feels twitching and empty and he wants it.
Mac swallows and nods, grabbing a condom from the nightstand and climbing back on top of him. He lines up smoothly, getting Dennis’s legs bent with his feet flat to the bed. He takes his cock in hand, muscles standing out taut and tense as he rips open a condom and slides it on, biting his lip.
He meets Dennis’s eye once it’s on and breathes out half a laugh.
‘You gotta stop looking at me like that, man, or I’m not even gonna make it inside,’ he says as he nudges the head of his cock gently against Dennis’s hole.
‘Don’t give me shit about it, you know what you look like.’ Dennis wants it to come out mean but it doesn’t – it can’t, not when Mac is smiling at him, so fond and hot and excited, God. So happy to be doing this with him.
Dennis reaches up impulsively, sliding his hands around Mac’s shoulders and pulling him down. They haven’t kissed in a little while, and anyway it always used to feel – kind of different, if they did. That was another point in favour of doing it face to face.
‘You ready?’ Mac asks, warm and still close to his face. His voice has dropped low, almost secret. Just between the two of them.
Dennis nods, kissing him again.
Mac pushes inside slowly, still poised over him like that, so close they’re basically sharing breath. It’s a terrible angle from which to fuck someone for a lot of reasons, but it has the advantage that Dennis can just haul Mac over him like a blanket once he’s fully inside. Just curl his legs up around Mac’s waist and try and breathe into the stretch, shove his face in Mac’s neck. Mac’s hands are a little shaky, stroking along the outside of Dennis’s thighs. God, it’s been such a fucking long time.
‘You okay?’ Mac asks after a minute, his voice warm and soft.
Dennis nods against his neck.
‘Can I move?’ Mac asks, strained.
Dennis laughs, a little watery, and Mac groans. Dennis pats him on the back.
‘Yeah, you can move,’ Dennis says, and when Mac pulls back Dennis kisses him again, just on fucking principle. Just because he can.
Mac starts out slow. Dennis gets the feeling that’s just as much out of deference for his own flagging stamina as it is for Dennis. This isn’t going to be one of their marathon sessions; they were barely holding on even before Mac got inside him, and now that he is –
‘God, always so good,’ Mac mutters, looking half-crazed as he snaps his hips forward a little harder, driving a moan out of Dennis. ‘Always so fucking good for me.’
Dennis reaches up to cup his face and rubs his thumb over Mac’s panting, open mouth. Mac sucks it into his mouth, cheeks hollowing, and gives a nasty thrust, one that’s deliberately intended to make Dennis cry out. It’s good, but it’s not quite – Dennis lifts his hips, raising his eyebrows at Mac, who takes the hint without even speaking. He gets hold of Dennis’s hips and tilts him upwards, biting his lip as he presses back in at a different angle, trying with less force and more precision.
‘Fuck,’ Dennis spits at the shocky jolt of sensation, hands shooting up to grab the headboard and brace himself. Mac grins, savage and pleased, when every stroke fucks more hiccupping sounds out of him. ‘Oh God, oh God, fuck, Mac –’
‘Yeah, that’s it,’ Mac says fiercely, dropping into more of a slow grind, rocking his hips just so to hit that spot instead of pounding in and out. ‘Fuck, I missed this.’
Dennis bites his lip so hard it hurts, all the fucking blood in his body flowing to his cock, stood out hard against his stomach. Mac’s catching the head every so often, rubbing along his abs, and Dennis has to close his eyes when he sees that. It’s so intense when it’s like this, that slow pressure rubbing up and down against his prostate rather than just gunning for it, that he barely needs to touch his dick at all. He can feel his orgasm building in his fucking teeth.
When he opens his eyes, Mac’s staring down at him, captivated. He gets a bad rep in the bedroom and Dennis wouldn’t know from any other partners he’s had, obviously, but in his experience Mac’s always cared a hell of a lot more what kind of time he had than about just getting off. Maybe that’s just about Dennis, but whatever it is, it works.
‘Stop fucking biting your lip,’ Mac pants. ‘Be loud. I know how much you love it, it’s okay.’
‘Oh, God,’ Dennis moans. ‘Don’t say shit like that, shut up.’
‘What, about how much you love being fucked?’ Mac sits up, pulling Dennis up into his lap with a snap of his hips. He grins down at Dennis as he writhes, completely unrepentant.
‘Jesus, shut up.’ Dennis braces himself against Mac’s shoulder and works down against it when Mac speeds up his thrusts, groaning at the shivery sensation building inside him. He screws his face up. ‘Okay, do it harder now, harder – oh God, yeah, like that, like, yeah –’
‘Jesus, you’re hot,’ Mac groans. ‘I’m not gonna last much longer, man, I’m just warning you –’
Dennis’s hand drops to his leaking cock like he’s been waiting for permission and it’s way too much, overwhelms him so fast he chokes on a breath.
‘I’m amazed you’ve lasted this long,’ he pants. He can feel himself squeezing down around Mac’s cock as he gets closer and closer, hand speeding up on his cock. ‘It’s coming, Mac, I’m – I’m –’
‘Oh God,’ Mac chokes out as Dennis clamps down, a fucking body blow of pleasure overtaking him, and then oh God, oh fuck – they meet each other’s eyes in shock when Mac starts to come too, at the same time – coming in the same fucking breath as Dennis, thrusting up into him so hard it makes Dennis yell, slapping a hand up against the headboard as he loses it all over his own hand. Mac shudders against him, making a noise like he’s been punched.
‘Jesus Christ,’ Dennis breathes.
Mac mumbles something that sounds like an agreement and collapses on top of him. He’s soaked in sweat, breathing like he just ran the Olympic sprint, but Dennis doesn’t even have enough energy to complain. He drags his hands out from under Mac’s body and slings them across his back, covered in come or not. If Mac’s going to lie on him like this, he can stand to be held.
They float for a while before Mac gathers the energy to pull up and off with a groan. He gets rid of the condom and drops back onto the bed next to Dennis.
They glance at each other. Dennis raises an eyebrow, quirking a grin. They’ve never hit it at the same time before, not even once. And they’ve had a lot of sex.
‘Good effort,’ he says softly.
Mac snorts and rolls over to face him, hugging a pillow.
‘Remember that time in the Dave & Buster’s bathroom stall?’ he asks, a wistful look on his face.
Dennis rolls his eyes. ‘Which time?’
‘The one where you came so hard it hit the ceiling.’
‘Oh, yeah.’ Dennis wrinkles his nose. ‘Shit, that was good. Way too good for Dave & Buster’s.’
Mac hums. ‘Still got a fond feeling for that place,’ he says sleepily.
His eyes slide closed while Dennis watches. He lets it happen, listening to Mac’s breathing even out while he tries to remember the last time they had sex before this. Did he even know it was the last time? How could he? It wasn’t like they made a decision, nothing as definitive as that. It just stopped working one day, without Dennis understanding what was happening, and he never knew how he was supposed to have stopped it when he couldn’t even figure out why. Eventually it got far enough away that he told himself he didn’t miss it. And sometimes that was even true, because he couldn’t remember well enough how it felt.
But he’ll remember now.
‘Mac,’ he says gently.
Mac makes an encouraging noise.
Dennis says, in a voice as clear as he can make it, ‘I don’t want to stop again.’
Mac opens his eyes, looking very suddenly awake. ‘What?’ he asks, blinking. ‘Like – you want –’
‘I want,’ Dennis stops him. He swallows. ‘Yeah. I want.’
‘Oh my God,’ Mac says. He shuffles closer on the bed, until their knees are touching. He puts a hand out, slow and hesitant until Dennis nestles into it, kissing his palm. ‘Jesus. Okay. Yeah, of course.’
Dennis lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. ‘Okay.’
‘I can’t –’ Mac laughs, sounding half-crazed. ‘I can’t believe you – I thought you didn’t want this. I thought it was just me.’
Dennis looks at him sideways. ‘I let you fuck me a lot for someone who wasn’t interested in like, that exact thing,’ he observes.
Mac hesitates. ‘Yeah,’ he says at length. ‘I get that. But I think sometimes you can know something and like, not know it at the same time? Or at least, that’s how it was with me.’
Dennis just hums. He doesn’t really have anything to say to that; it’s part of a bigger question than he has the capacity to deal with right now. But it does make him wonder. If Mac hadn’t always been so fucking loud about everything, would they even be here? Or would they have gotten here a lot sooner?
He can’t make himself be angry about the possibility of that as Mac lies back and opens his arms, smiling warm and happy when Dennis crawls into them and closes his eyes. He’s too busy being glad they got here at all.