Chapter Text
The only real fault with their summer cabin is that after the first couple weeks, it starts to get boring. The town's not that big; there's no sports field, and the only places to go are either tourist traps or local spots where the townies get defensive about intruders. It doesn't matter that Thor's family has been coming here every summer since forever or that he knows half the teenagers in town by name: he doesn't live here, so he's still intruding.
The beach is neutral ground, but it's got its own problems. Especially since this summer's been record-breaking hot.
Loki refuses to go out to it half the time, for one. That wasn't so bad before; but ever since Thor saw him masturbating last week, now if his cousin stays back at the cabin Thor keeps wondering whether his parents have gone out and left him alone there. If they have, Loki might be doing it again--and then Thor starts trying to come up with an excuse to go back and see if they have and he is.
That lasts for about five seconds before he gets pissed at himself for being so gross.
Like it wasn't creepy enough, spying on his cousin getting off when Loki thought he was alone. Thor doesn't have any excuses for not just leaving like he should have, but at least he wasn't trying to catch Loki at it. Being a skeevy asshole who stayed and watched is at least one step less awful than being a skeevy asshole who lurks around trying to trick Loki into thinking he's alone so he can watch his cousin fuck himself to coming with a dildo another time.
That reminder is usually enough to make Thor stay at the beach, even if he never manages to concentrate on anything else again. But if doesn't help the fact that he has to go back each day eventually.
He always feels awkward when Loki sits down across from him at the table or whenever they end up in the same room. Thor's never sure if he's staring at his cousin too much, or if he's being weirder by not looking at Loki at all. Sometimes it feels like Loki's scrutinizing him--but whenever Thor checks, his cousin's busy on the tablet or reading or watching TV.
The first couple times it happened, Thor was left with an adrenaline rush at the ugly thought that his cousin knew he'd been watching before, that Loki caught him at it, and he was just biding his time until he could humiliate Thor the most for it.
But Loki never said anything; and after a couple days, Thor finally started to relax and shrug the idea off.
He still gets jumpy whenever it feels like he's being watched, obviously, but it isn't so panicky anymore. At this point, it's just starting to irritate him--because even though he's pretty sure it's Loki, he can't prove it. And if it isn't Loki, he doesn't have any other candidates. He methodically tore up the cabin one morning looking for bugs and wiretaps and then had to come up with an explanation for his mom about why he was acting so paranoid out of nowhere. Frigga didn't look like she bought it, but eventually all she said was to be subtler until Sif left.
The wet dreams aren't helping, either. He's been waking up from them once or twice a night for days now, and he has to pass Loki's door to get to the bathroom. Every single damn time, he can't stop himself from imagining what could happen if he went into his cousin's bedroom instead.
He knows what would really happen. Loki would reflexively try to stab him when Thor startled him awake, and then they'd end up arguing and yelling at each other until they woke everyone else. But good luck telling his dick that.
So instead Thor ends up jacking off in the bathroom to half-formed fantasizes where Loki just...isn't surprised, isn't freaked out, ones where he lets Thor stay and pulls him down on the bed and lets Thor strip them both, where Loki likes the idea of having sex with him. Thor thinks repeatedly about the little whimpers his cousin made as Loki was settling into his rhythm with the dildo, and curls a hand around one of his hips as he jerks off, imaging how Loki's own would feel under his palms while Thor fucked him, wondering what angle he'd need to bring Loki from those half-pained noises to his louder, eager moans.
They're nice thoughts while they last. But once he's come, he can't ignore how impossible they are--there's no way in hell Loki wouldn't be completely creeped out by Thor busting into his room and wanting to have sex. And Thor doesn't entirely put it past his cousin to try stabbing him for real and then brushing it off as reflexes if he got really angry. They haven't seen each other much for the last few years, and it's obvious Loki's gotten meaner.
Thor holds tenaciously to that thought, reminding himself about the consequences of being stupid, in an effort to shore up his steadily evaporating resolve to stop being such a goddamn freak and leave his cousin alone.
At this point, he's just avoiding the cabin and Loki as much as possible. But then Thor runs right smack back into the same old other problems: the town is small and boring, and the beach is really damn hot.
Loki surprisingly came down to it with Thor today, but then he got bored and went into town with Fandral. Thor almost thought about joining them, but the volleyball game was getting pretty intense and Sif was in a bikini and didn't care, and it was hard to walk away from that. Not to mention she would've thrown the ball at his head for leaving her team undermanned.
Plus, since he knew Loki wasn't going back to the cabin, Thor wasn't distracted with fantasizing. That meant he was finally winning against Hogun for the first time in a week--and the guys had harassed him so much for the last several days that even when Thor realized he was starting to feel lousy he still didn't want to drop out of the game and lose again.
Which is how he ended up here: nauseous, with a high pulse, stuck in the empty cabin and lying on his bed with a cold, wet washcloth over his face.
He's gonna have to admit Volstagg was right about the heatstroke, Thor thinks sourly. That'd be bad enough, since Volstagg likes to remind Thor that he's older: out of college and married and a grownup in the way Thor doesn't feel like yet. It's going to be even worse since it was dumb of him to keep arguing in the first place.
He's lucky it isn't turning out too bad. Thor finally gave up and left the beach once Volstagg threatened to haul him home over his shoulder and Hogun looked willing to help; Sif and Brunhilde were just snickering at him, so there was obviously no backup coming from that corner. Halfway back to the cabin Thor thought that just because Volstagg was about to be a dad didn't mean he had to act like it already, and the fact that he didn't think of it sooner adds to his irritation.
Down the hall, the porch door slides open before slamming shut. Thor reaches reflexively under his pillow for his brass knuckles and thinks that if it's Sif, he's using that quip and to hell if it doesn't make much sense twenty minutes later. At least it won't be wasted.
"Hello," Loki calls. "--Anyone here?"
Thor shakes the brass knuckles off and presses the cloth against his face as he works up the will to answer. He can't sound weak when he does--Loki'll never let him live it down, getting heatstroke over a lousy volleyball game. He's not giving his cousin any more ammunition to call him an idiot with.
"Anybody?" Loki says louder.
--Holy shit, Thor realizes as his brain finally catches up through the drag of listlessness. If Loki thinks he's alone, then maybe....
Loki casually yells an incredibly nasty string of swear words. Thor chokes on a snigger and smothers it with his hand.
He presses down harder in the beat of silence that follows. For a long time the house is still; and then he finally hears Loki rummaging in the kitchen.
His door is half-shut, but Loki has to pass it to get to his room. Thor thinks about getting up and shutting it further before his cousin comes into the hall--but. The idea seems messed up.
Thor scowls a second later and presses the washcloth harder to his face, and reminds himself that everything he's been doing the last week is messed up.
The first time was an accident, and he should have left instead of staying, because Loki didn't know he was there. Loki didn't know Thor was jerking himself off in the hall outside his door, thinking about his cousin, thinking about wanting to take over, wanting to go in and replace that dildo and make Loki make all those gut-twistingly hot sounds for him--
Thor bites his lip as his cock starts harding in his shorts.
Last time was an accident, and he should have left. Shutting the door this time, so Loki won't even have the chance to spot him, feels like a trick. It's completely screwed up.
Loki starts padding up the hall. Thor pulls the cloth away from his face, ready to see Loki jerk and stop when he catches sight of him through the doorway. He'll probably scowl even more than usual when he realizes he's not alone after all--if someone came in when Thor thought he had a chance at some good, worry-free masturbating, he knew he'd be pissed. Especially if it was complicated the way Loki's is, needing more time than a quick jerk-off.
He barely gets a glimpse of his cousin as Loki passes, tossing a water bottle absently from hand to hand as he strides toward his room.
Thor holds his breath, but Loki doesn't double-back. He doesn't lean through Thor's doorway and glare and demand to know why he didn't answer.
Did Loki not see him?
Shit, Thor thinks again, his heart speeding up as his cock twitches more. If Loki didn't see him--
There's more sound in the hall, this time from the bathroom. Thor startles at a loud, wooden cracking noise--what the hell, did Loki make a false bottom in a drawer? Is he breaking off a cabinet door to come back and bash Thor with it?
There might be something to that. The bathroom cabinet's so full of towels and sheets that Thor doesn't remember ever actually seeing the back of it. And Loki's good with his hands. Thor should know; he's stared at them a lot the last several days.
Loki's really good with his hands, whether he's cracking open mussels or doing coin tricks or working on equations or winning yet another board game Frigga pulls out when it rains in the mornings. And he must be keeping that dildo somewhere.
Thor's cock jumps again as he shivers. He palms it through his shorts, lifting his hips into the friction, and then goes still when he hears Loki leave the bathroom and kick open the door to his own bedroom.
He should leave. He doesn't feel that sick anymore, except for the way his stomach and chest are knotted up in anticipation and guilt. He could go back to the beach, or walk down into town; it doesn't matter as long as he leaves the cabin and gives his cousin the privacy Loki thinks he has. He needs to go.
Thor forces himself to sit up and shove off the bed and move to the door. But in the hall he pauses.
He could stop next to Loki's door and call out, maybe ask if he wants to come to town with him. He could say Loki woke him up and he didn't answer because he was groggy. Maybe Loki isn't doing anything--maybe he just came back because he got bored.
Maybe Thor should quit pretending and just admit he's being a fucking creep.
He goes down the hall and pauses outside Loki's door. His heart's beating so hard Thor half expects Loki to come out to see what the noise is and then punch him in the mouth. If he leaves now at least he won't be a complete asshole.
In the room, Loki's breath hitches and he makes a small discomforted sound.
Shit, Thor thinks helplessly, and glances inside.
Loki's sprawled out on his back on the bed, his head tilted up to the ceiling and his legs splayed open wide, his hand between them.
Thor thinks distractedly that he's not wearing the panties this time. He's not wearing anything: his clothes've been kicked into the corner next to his crumpled bedspread.
For a second he thinks Loki's playing with his balls, since the dildo's sitting on his nightstand next to the water bottle. Thor feels a spike of disappointment that he's changed his mind--and then his cousin drags his legs higher up the sheet, bending his knees and lifting his hips, and Thor realizes he's fingering his ass. Loki's getting himself ready.
The shudder that wracks through him is so violent Thor almost bangs into the wall. He freezes up, afraid to do anything that could startle Loki into noticing him. He's not even willing to undo his shorts to rub his cock.
Last time was an accident, and maybe he could've thought up a way to talk himself out of it. At the least, he could have let Loki slug him so they could move on. But this time he's got no excuse.
The thought has him freaked out and turned on at the same time. Like this needed to get more screwed up.
Thor struggles to remain still as he listens to Loki's breath catch on shaky little whimpers as he bucks against his hand. His cousin's legs keep shifting, rumpling the sheet around his feet.
Thor imagines kneeling on the bed between them. He'd spread his own legs wide as he got in close, forcing Loki's thighs out around him. He'd be able to feel his cousin's muscles flexing as Loki squirmed under him.
Thor shifts on his feet, trying to ignore the ache in his balls, and leans forward a little further to get a better view. He exhales through his teeth when he sees that Loki's got two slick fingers spread inside himself.
One time when he was in the shower he tried sliding a finger into his ass just to get an idea what Loki liked about it so much. With enough soap he managed; and it felt weird as hell, just like he'd figured. When Thor tried to put in a second one it stopped being uncomfortable and started to really sting--and he definitely spent longer on it than his cousin could've for this.
But Loki's working himself hard, driving his hips down onto his fingers in sharp jerks, panting harshly. His head's tilted way back, his eyes squeezed shut and his throat taut; he keeps biting off curses as he pushes forward. Thor doesn't know how it's not hurting him to take it so fast--even if Loki's used to this, it's still got to sting some. Especially with how rough he's being.
...Maybe it is hurting him, but Loki doesn't care. His cousin's always been pretty tough.
Another shiver runs down his back, and Thor bites his lip hard.
Maybe it just doesn't bother him. Thor was always impressed with Loki's tattoos, but once he got his own he had to respect the way Loki was able to endure that much ink. And Loki was definitely into what he was doing last time: he didn't look or sound like it hurt at all. Maybe he's just used to it.
Loki swears out loud the next time he forces his fingers into his ass, the noise high and sharp, and then he strangles out "Please."
Thor nearly bites through his lip.
Last week he thought he'd seen his cousin's smirking, distant attitude stripped away as he fucked himself, but this is miles past that. Loki's begging. Thor can count on one hand how many times he's heard his cousin use that word--and those were only to Frigga when Loki was asking for a second helping of dinner or something. It was nothing like this: Loki sounds desperate. He sounds like if he doesn't get what he wants he's going to collapse, to break down completely into a sobbing, pleading mess.
Thor's so hard now it hurts. The zipper's biting into his cock, and his underwear is sticking unpleasantly from the precome dribbling into it. Thor fists a hand into his shorts and grips another around the doorframe, and thinks that if Loki spots him now he's not gonna be able to get his head together before his cousin's on him and punching. He's not even sure he'll care. Not if it means he'll get the chance to grab Loki's hips and rock against him, to feel his cousin's cock slick and dripping along his skin and hear Loki's sharp panting in his ear.
He's so hard it's hurting, but he holds back from sliding a hand under his shorts or rubbing himself through the fabric. He almost doesn't even want to pull down the zipper; he's half sure if he touches his cock at all he'll come right then. He can't stop trembling.
Spying on his cousin getting off is messed up. Spying on his cousin getting off, after tricking him into thinking he's alone, is really messed up. Spying on Loki because for the past week Thor hasn't been able to stop dreaming about sex with him is flat-out fucked up. But spying on Loki when his cousin thinks he's alone and he's imagining some fantasy that Thor is a hundred percent sure Loki would never forgive him for overhearing, some jerk-off dream that's got Loki riding on pain and begging for--less? More? Shit. Thor doesn't know what comes after fucked up, but that's what this is. If Loki beats him to a pulp for this, he'll deserve it.
Loki bangs his head against the mattress, making it bounce. "Please!" He sounds even more frantic, and angry about it. Thor bites down harder.
It's not enough to muffle his gasp when Loki wrenches his fingers from his ass, crying out as he does, and slings himself over onto his stomach. He flails a hand to the side, knocking over the water bottle as he grasps the dildo.
It glistens in the light, and Thor realizes Loki must have lubed it up beforehand. That's--that's even less time he had to strip and get his fingers inside his ass. Jesus. Just how harsh was Loki taking himself?
His skin feels too warm, sweat prickling along it and making his clothes hot. The pressure on his cock is past what he can take anymore; Thor barely manages to swallow down a relieved moan as he tugs the zipper loose and jerks his shorts off his hips. He squeezes his cock through his briefs as he watches Loki work the dildo into his ass.
His cousin's moving slower now, going easier on himself, and Thor's relieved. He knows there's people that get off on being hurt, but he's not sure how he feels about his cousin being one of them.
Or maybe he's just not sure how he feels about still being this turned on after watching Loki use himself so roughly. Or about getting harder from listening to all those smothered, whimpered curses and shivery pleas.
--Okay, he does know how he feels about that: pretty fucking disturbed. What the hell is wrong with him?
Loki gets the dildo all the way in and holds it there, his breath coming harsh and loud. Thor forces himself to pull his hand away from his cock and fists it back in his shorts. He's gripping the doorframe so hard he can't feel his fingers anymore.
Loki draws a long breath, and lets it out even more slowly. Then he shoves the dildo forward, rocking his hips down and dragging a sharp whine out of his throat.
The bed creaks as he does it again and then again, not pulling the dildo out for proper thrusts, just using it to force himself harder against the mattress. It makes his cock bounce when he does. Despite the uncomfortable, almost pained sounds Loki's making, his dick is hard and flushed so dark that Thor thinks it must be aching as bad as his own.
Thor's breathing in hard, ragged pants, vaguely aware in the back of his mind that he's gotta be too loud but unable to make himself stop. Loki probably can't hear him anyway over his own rasping gasps as he goes still again.
Loki stays slack and breathing hard into the sheet for a couple more moments, so long that Thor can barely stand it. He needs Loki to start moving again, needs to give in and get a hand back on his cock, needs to find out if Loki's going to ease up and start fucking himself like last time or if he's going to keep up this vicious pace, needs to know--needs to--shit. He doesn't know. He needs to come. His legs are shaking, he needs it so bad. He's never been strung out this tight, not even that time with his last girlfriend in the backseat, not even last week. He'd probably be begging himself right now if it was anybody else holding him back. He's about ready to throw away everything and go in and beg Loki.
His cousin draws in another breath, hoarser this time, and starts shifting on the bed again.
Thor's stomach clenches as he watches Loki reach back and deliberately pull his legs farther apart instead of just spreading them. His cousin drags his arm back up and braces it by his head, then forces his chest further against the mattress as much as he can with one hand still around the dildo.
Shivers keep wracking through Thor hard enough that he's bent forward from them as he watches Loki arrange himself. If there were someone else behind his cousin on the bed, they'd be the one doing this: tugging Loki's knees wide until his thighs shake, pinning him down on the mattress, leaving his ass tilted up and ready to be fucked. If it were him behind Loki....
Loki rolls his head to the side, rubbing his forehead against the sheet to scrape his hair away from his flushed face. His forearm's still flat against the mattress, like he's pinned there too.
For a second a sharp pulse of terror cuts through all Thor's lightheaded lust. Loki's facing him now. If he opens his eyes, if he sees Thor watching--
But Loki keeps his eyes closed as he licks his lips and shifts his grip on the dildo. Thor watches him swallow thickly and lick his lips again before murmuring, "Please."
It's softer than the others. It's not pleading, not demanding; Loki's pinned and spread and about to be fucked the way someone else decides. It almost sounds like an encouragement.
Thor shudders so hard that his hand spasms against the doorframe and he tastes blood as he bites through his lip. He rolls away from the door and presses his back against the wall as he shoves a hand into his underwear.
He barely squeezes his cock a few times before he's coming, strong enough that his knees buckle and his vision blacks out at the edges. He's not sure how long it takes for it to pass; when it finally does, he's crouched on his heels in the hall, one hand sticky and the other still numb, gasping raggedly. The back of his head hurts, like he banged it against the wall. He doesn't know if he made noise.
Maybe he didn't. Maybe he did and Loki didn't notice--Thor can hear the squelching as Loki fucks himself with the dildo, and the bed creaking under his ruthless pace. Or maybe he did and Loki did notice, but he can't be bothered to come strangle Thor until he's finished. His cousin is making trembly, keening noises strung together with barely a pause for breath, but they sound stifled.
Thor, too fucked out to think of consequences, takes the risk and glances into the room.
Loki's driving the dildo into his ass just as harshly as it sounds. His legs are still spread wide, and his eyes are still shut as each thrust jars his head against the mattress; but he's got his hand against his mouth now, three fingers shoved deep inside it, choking down his moans.
Thor smothers a groan and pulls away, pressing his head against the wall as he slumps to sit on the carpet. He wonders if it's possible to come again already. He wonders if it's possible to come again, ever. If not, this might've been worth it.
He spends way more time than he should drifting in the aftershocks of his orgasm and trying to catch his breath, swallowing whenever one of Loki's whimpers is forced out harder.
When they start getting louder and louder, bordering on sobbed shouts, Thor shivers and wonders if Loki's about to come.
He wants to see it. He's wanted to see it ever since he missed it last week. But he's no longer so stupid-headed from coming that he's willing to risk getting caught, so he settles for listening.
It sounds like Loki's being merciless to himself--the pace of the squelching and creaking is so brutal it makes Thor flinch in sympathy--and it sounds like he's going to make himself come from it. It's hard to tell with the way he's gagged by his fingers. Just how long's Loki been finger-fucking himself in the mouth while pounding the dildo into his ass? The whole time? Jesus, Thor can't even imagine what he's fantasizing about anymore.
It's hard to tell with the hand smothering his mouth, but it sounds like Loki's making himself beg for it.
If it were possible to come again already, Thor thinks he might. If Loki goes on like this much longer, he's going to get hard again before he's even cleaned up. His cousin's got some impressive stamina.
--Has he even touched his cock this whole time?
Jesus Christ. Just how much does Loki like torturing himself? Even if he likes being fucked enough to come from it, even if he likes being fucked as rough as this, that's gotta be too much. Thor wouldn't make him go this long without a hand on his dick.
A few seconds later--finally--the creaking stops as Loki lets out a long, ecstatic, still-smothered moan. It's pained enough that Thor shudders; it's pleased enough that he swallows hard.
He keeps his jaw clenched as he listens to Loki collapse on the bed, his cousin's breath coming in shuddery gasps, and tries not to move or make noise.
He needs to get up and get back to his room. He needs to get up now, before Loki comes down and starts to pay attention to what's around him again. He has to go.
The bed creaks and Thor scrambles to his feet, yanking his shorts up his hips as he stumbles down the hall to his room.
He shoves the door shut most of the way behind him, stopping before the latch can catch, and makes a ridiculously grateful noise when he spots the damp washcloth where he dropped it. He feels sweaty and sticky and almost ready enough to jack off again that he wants a shower. But Loki's room faces the bathroom, so this'll have to do.
Thor's hiding in his room, trying to clean up surreptitiously, when Loki comes up to the open doorway of his own. He hasn't bothered to dress.
Loki props an elbow against the doorframe, still panting slightly as he gulps water from the bottle he fished out from beneath the bed. He takes another as he studies the door next to his own, now shut a lot further than it was when he first passed by and pretended not to see Thor inside.
Loki snorts quietly and goes back into his room to grab his clothes and the dildo that needs to be washed. He claims the bathroom before Thor can get to it.