Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Rey Johnson-Organa woke to her one-year-old, Tai, gently whacking the side of her head while babbling “mamamamama.” He drooled open-mouthed “kisses” onto the side of her face, effectively ending the peaceful space between dreaming and waking.

“Is this what it was like to be eaten by the world’s cutest zombie?” She wondered aloud sleepily.

Groaning, she scooped up her little guy and nuzzled his cheek. “Good morning, my little alarm clock.”

She braced herself for another day in the life of a mom and padded to the kitchen with Tai in her arms and set him in his high chair, dumping a small scoop of Cheerios onto the tray. Within minutes, she knew half of them would be on the floor, but it was a much-needed distraction while she prepped the kids’ lunches for school.

A few minutes later, her five-year-old Leia emerged sleep-eyed and bed-headed from her room, demanding breakfast. “Good morning, sweetie. What would you like to eat?”

“I don’t know.”

“An apple? Cereal? Oatmeal..” and on and on she would list the available breakfast items to her tiny patron, as if this were truly Mom’s Diner.

“Apple!” demanded the tiny tyrant.

Easy enough, Rey thought as she rinsed and dried a plump red Honeycrisp and placed it in Leia’s tiny palm. She would take a few bites and soon abandon it to begin browning on the table, only for Rey to feel guilty and finish it with a grimace in a few hours.

“Go get dressed! We have to leave soon!” Rey admonished. Rey was thankful Leia could at least dress herself. It was so tough having to manage both kids while her husband snoozed peacefully, eking out the last few moments of peace before his stressful work day.

“Must be nice,” she huffed to herself as she spooned applesauce and baby oats into tiny containers.

Ben was actually a pretty engaged father, pulling his weight for the most part. Although, pretty much anything fathers did, apart from existing, was applauded nowadays. After the baby was born and she was incapacitated post-surgery, he took up the lion’s share of caring for Leia, cementing a special bond between the two of them.  

Despite being healed physically, Rey never seemed to recover her energy, due to sleepless nights breastfeeding and co-sleeping with the baby. Both kids’ needs seemed all consuming at times. She wondered how much more she would have to give until they no longer needed her anymore. It was hard for Ben to understand how much giving her body and soul to the kids took out of her.

In the throes of her attachment parenting, babies in the bed meant less opportunities for romantic overtures. The days, weeks and nights passed so quickly that by the time she stopped to think, far too much time had passed since they kissed for more than a few seconds, had a lingering hug, or even remembered to flirtatiously slap each other on the ass in passing.

Even their sex life seemed to be perfunctory - mainly focused on conceiving baby number two and then more of an obligation when they both realized they couldn’t remember the last time they did it. They became like two ships passing each other. Roommates. Family. Peaceful and quiet. Happy enough, but not passionate.

When she actually had time to stop and think about it amidst the daily grind of working and mothering, she just hoped it was temporary. The kids would eventually both dress and feed themselves. Bedtime wouldn’t be a three-hour power struggle from bath to jammies to storytime to cuddles. Slowly, their bed would become their own again, and the space between them might close up again. Maybe.

She tried not to let herself get too sad about it. All parents went through this, right?

She finally had exactly what she had always dreamed of, and she was in the midst of her Happily Ever After. Growing up without parents of her own, moving from foster home to foster home, she longed for all that she now had: Marriage, a house, two kids (a boy and a girl). Check, check, check.

A scholarship had brought her to the States from her native England, where she studied software engineering before pursuing her MBA at Chandrila University’s School of Business. Her career was on track, punctuated by steady promotions and raises. She finally felt fulfilled and invested in the mission of her small software company. As a manager, she got to not only do her job but also inspire and help others to be good at theirs. It was rewarding, if not exhausting.

She was exactly where she was supposed to be. So why did she feel so empty sometimes? All the stories, all the love songs, and all the films led to exactly where she was. But no one has ever shown this part, have they?

What comes after the Happily Ever After?

Chapter Text

Overthinking her current situation almost always led Rey to think back to reminiscing about her younger days, particularly when she and Ben first met. She was twenty-five and fresh off of her epic romance with the man she thought she would marry: Poe Dameron.

Rey and Poe had been friends in college who flirted occasionally, but not much had ever come of it while they were in school together.

One weekend after graduation, Poe had impulsively ridden the bus from Jakku, where they’d attended college, down to Chandrila to visit her. They’d spent a lovely weekend together and decided to finally make it happen.

They had fallen fast and hard into a passionate long-distance romance - it hadn’t been a question of whether they had sex, only when and where. They’d pushed the boundaries of their shared fantasies, and their sex had been epic, often to their roommates’ chagrin. But they couldn’t be expected to keep their hands off of each other when they only got to see each other every other weekend. They worked hard at keeping their relationship afloat and took turns riding the bus to each other’s cities.

After two years of dating, Poe had finally made a permanent move to Chandrila. Another year passed happily - they had been so excited to be living in the same neighborhood. Some of their old college friends had also moved to Chandrila, and they had been able to somewhat recreate the fun of their college years: hosting and going to parties and bars, having a blast.

Even though they seemed so happy, Poe was staying out late more and more, going out to bars and punk shows without her and even making female “friends” at the office.

One night, while bar hopping in downtown Coruscant with her best friend Rose and Rose’s boyfriend Finn, Rey ran into Poe outside Max Rebo's with his co-workers. Not just any co-workers, though. Standing closely behind him, chatting with the others, was Phasma. Tall, statuesque, and stunningly beautiful Phasma with her trendy bob haircut, effortless punk-chic and devil-may-care, haughty expression. Poe had mentioned her a few times, how they liked all the same bands and ended up at the same art gallery openings, but Rey had shrugged off the jealousy, thinking nothing of it. Why couldn’t her boyfriend have female friends who were beautiful and also shared all of his interests that she did not? What could possibly go wrong?

“Babe - fancy seeing you here!” Rey exclaimed.

Poe looked… caught off guard. He suddenly looked down and shuffled his toe across the gum-speckled sidewalk. “Hey, um... how’s it goin’?” Something was off.

“Aren’t you going to introduce me? ” Rey asked with trepidation in her voice, gesturing casually at the group gathered behind him. Whether Phasma registered Rey’s presence or even cared, she couldn’t tell, but Rey’s heart started pounding regardless.

“Yeah, it’s kinda weird. I don’t want to put her on the spot.”

“Excuse me? I’m your girlfriend. Why won’t you just introduce us? She's just a friend, right?” Her voice started to crack. 

What was happening? How could he treat her like this? 

Rey doubled down, her voice starting to shake. “Right?”

Poe’s face told her everything she needed to know. “It’s not what you think. I just…”

“Just what, Poe?” she interrupted. If Phasma hadn’t noticed her before, she sure did now, as Rey could see out of the corner of her eye.

An eternity passed in loaded silence as Poe’s eyes finally rose to meet hers. She felt the tears well up in her eyes but promptly blinked them away. No way was she going to let Poe humiliate her like this. Not after everything they had been through as a couple: the long-distance over at last, the amazing year they just had together. She was going to marry this man, for God’s sake, or so she had thought.

Poe stared back at Rey silently, his mouth slightly ajar. The look on his face continued to say what his voice didn’t have the courage to. He would not be introducing her to Phasma because you don’t introduce your girlfriend to the woman you are cheating on her with, at least if you have half a conscience. His half a conscience was at least one of his redeeming qualities.

Her anger erupted full force as the realization finally dawned on her. “You know what, fuck it!” She exclaimed as she slapped his cheek and turned to walk away.

If she wasn’t already slightly buzzed, she might have ground both of their asses into that disgusting, gum-covered and cigarette-strewn sidewalk. Shaken by the shock of what she had done—acting so violently towards the man she had loved — shook her to her core. She refused to look back and started speed-walking away without seeing where she was going. She had to get away before the tears started flowing.

Rose and Finn, who had been silently taking in the whole scene, quickly rallied behind her and escorted her towards their original destination, a piano bar that Phasma probably wouldn’t be caught dead at. At least there was some relief in not being cool enough for her now ex-boyfriend.

Rey knew it was over. She drowned her sorrows in a Jameson and ginger ale, barely registering the soft music from the piano in the corner. Everything felt crystal clear now. There was before, and this was after. They were officially done, and there was no coming back from this.

“You deserve so much better, hun. I can’t believe he actually did that to you,” crooned Rose while gently rubbing Rey’s back in slow circles.

Rey hung her head and placed her sweaty glass on a nearby end table. She didn’t remember emptying the glass, and she flexed her fingers, sore from gripping it too tightly.

“I want to say that I don’t believe it, Rose, but you know what I can. This has been coming for a long time. I just didn’t realize it would be so cruel… and so public. It was so embarrassing,” Rey started to sniffle.

“Do not do that,” Rose admonished her. “You have no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed. Think of it as a gift, Rey,” she continued, “Now you don’t have to put up with his Hipster Peter Pan bullshit anymore,” she quipped.

Finn nodded in stern agreement as Rey chuckled softly. “Tell me how you really feel, Rose,” she replied. She wiped away a tear with the knuckle of her pointer finger and laughed. “You know, you’re right.”

Rose couldn’t be more right. It was a gift. It was finally clear to Rey that she was not a priority for Poe. After three years of ignoring the red flags (like Poe saying he never pictured himself getting married or having kids, staying out late all the time, and blowing her off to hang with who she now knew was Phasma), Rey took the reins of their “backward breakup” and formally cut him loose via text the next day.

Sure, it was absolutely devastating to let go of this dream, cultivated over many lonely nights, in different bedrooms, in different houses, none of which truly belonged to her. But it was necessary. No more trying to twist herself into a pretzel for someone who would never accept her and love her as completely as she deserved.

Twenty-five is the age you start thinking about the rest of your life. College and grad school were finally over, she had a full-time job, and now it was time to set her sights on the much-hyped “happily ever after.”

Her biological clock was ticking, and she didn’t want to die alone. Hella dramatic, she thought to herself. Rey was nothing if not a hopeless romantic who tried to see the good in people. Poe was not the one. He had to want to change, and clearly, that was not happening before every single one of her eggs died.

This is a gift. I’m so good at everything else - school, work, being an awesome friend. I’ll be damned if I let this box go unchecked.

It was time for Rey to move forward and fast.

No more fixing things, no more waiting.

Chapter Text

Taking a cue from Poe, Rey decided to take full advantage of the single life. She had never dated strangers before, usually opting to fall into bed with classmates or friends of friends. But Rey was never one to do anything half-assed, so she decided to go all-in to the world of online dating. At this point, she was willing to do anything to get Poe out of her hair.

She signed up for three dating apps and immediately started vigorously scrolling through profiles and responding to inbox messages. 

“Take that, asshole,” She chuckled aloud to herself as she finished her scheduling melée with a defiant click of her laptop’s trackpad. 

Rey now had three dates to look forward to over the next week: dinner restaurant with a Swedish art director named Joonas, dinner and drinks with a newspaper editor named Bodhi, and an art opening date with a snarky redhead named Hux.

Date #1: Joonas, 35, Art Director  

Rey found Joonas on lavalife.com, which promised a mature, adult selection of men. His profile picture was cute: he had kind blue eyes and closely cropped blonde hair. He wore black-framed glasses and had a gentle smile. At any rate, it was promising enough for her to acquiesce to meeting him in a public place. 

She agreed to meet him on a Saturday afternoon at Falcon Coffee on the main drag of downtown Chandrila. Her roommate, Rose, and their friend, Jannah, agreed to stealthily observe the date from a nearby table. They would ensure he wasn’t a serial killer and confirm his fuckability on a scale of one to ten (for science) before they took off. 

Online dating was still a relatively new thing in general, let alone to Rey, and she wasn’t one to just trust anybody. In fact, she had only just spent the previous forty-five minutes having a nervous breakdown with Rose and Jannah in anticipation of her first date in over three years.

“You’ll be fine! And you look smokin hot!” Rose reassured her anxious friend.

“Yeah, totally,” Jannah agreed in her lilting British accent that reminded Rey of home. She smiled reassuringly. “At any rate, we’ll just clobber him as soon as you give us ‘the look.'"

“What would I do without you two?” Rey replied, resting her chin on her hands and sighing.

“I perish the thought,” Rose rolled her eyes and swigged the rest of her cappuccino, leaving a cute froth mustache on her upper lip. “But seriously, Rey, we’ll be here as long as you need.”

Rey affectionately wiped Rose’s lips with her own napkin and was suddenly startled by the sound of the bell ringing over the front door of the cafe.

“Go, go!” shooed Jannah as she handed Rey her purse.

Rey quickly scrambled away from the safety of her girlfriends to her chosen table at the back of the cafe. It had a good sight line for her spies.  

Blissfully unaware, Joonas adjusted his glasses with his index finger and sauntered over to Rey’s table. His large frame was haloed in sunlight from the large picture windows behind him.

Even at his daunting size, he was still a bit sweet and shy-looking—like a friendly skyscraper. A nice departure from the cocky punk she was extremely eager to forget. One day, hopefully soon, she’d be able to look at another man and not compare them to him.

Sweet Joonas greeted Rey with a soft “Hallo.” He bent down to give her a tender kiss on her cheek just as Rey awkwardly proffered her hand to shake his. Despite his shy demeanor, he was kind and turned out to be quite the chatterbox as the date went on. 

Rey relished the chance to talk to a Real Adult Man after 3 years of dating the man-child. His willingness to drone on put Rey at ease since making small talk had never been her jam. Joonas regaled her with tales of his youth.

Her favorite anecdote was of his first job working as a mail carrier in his native Sweden, where he was forced to carry extremely heavy loads of IKEA catalogs. It sounded exotic and exciting for Rey, who never got to travel anywhere since moving to the states, not even to IKEA. Most of her furniture was plucked off the sidewalks of Chandrila (after a careful inspection for potential bedbugs), and her decor was mostly DIY projects or trinkets gifted by friends. Her wall art was a collage of Fuji Instax photos of her, Rose, Finn, Jannah, Zorii, and the rest of their crew from Harvard. 

Their coffee cups long emptied, they departed from Falcon and made their way towards the riverfront, stopping at a little park nestled on the banks. A softball game was in session on the main field, and children were playing tag and giggling and screaming with delight. 

They picked a shady spot where they lounged on the grass for a while in companionable conversation. When, by some miracle, he ran out of things to talk about, Joonas started stroking Rey’s arm ever so gently.

“Your hair smells really good,” he said and smiled at her, an expectant look on his face. 

Rey smiled back but didn’t know quite how to react other than an awkward “Thank you,” as a blush formed on her cheeks. It had been a while since anyone touched her like this. Even Poe had given up on casual affection, which she should have taken as a sign long ago. Joonas seized the moment and leaned in for a kiss that was tentative and a bit passive, but Rey was willing to try something new. She didn’t want to reveal her feral kissing style so soon in a new relationship if that’s what this even was.

They fell into a gentle makeout session, and she was careful to avoid his glasses as they fumbled together on the grass. Rey was briefly aware of the sun dappling on their faces through the canopy of leaves above them and the sound of the gentle breeze sweeping around them and rustling the trees. 

It should be romantic. She should feel something. Rey kept waiting for it to get good, but it never did. She was grateful for the public venue so he wouldn’t try to put any real moves on her. Not to mention, her underwear was dry as a bone. She broke away. 

“Are you hungry at all?”

She couldn’t remember the last time she ate - only having her double espresso hours before the longest date of her life. 

“Sure, I know a great new Thai place I’d love to take you to. It reminds me of this one time in Bangkok…”

Rey stood up abruptly, cutting off story time, and proffered her hand. “Let’s go, I’m starving.” 

He led her back down the main strip to a small, dimly lit Thai place. He was so chivalrous, pulling out her chair and helping her choose a meal for her out of her comfort zone. He even insisted on paying the check; Rey was taken aback by his generosity after years of going dutch or alternating with Poe. 

After a pleasant but distinctly quiet meal, the formerly loquacious Joonas walked Rey all the way home, and they shared a chaste kiss goodbye on the steps of her apartment building. They locked eyes, and the silent agreement formed between them was that this was definitely never going to happen. He instant messaged her and texted her a few times after that but never asked for another date. 

Even if it wasn’t a match, Rey was grateful to Joonas - he showed her what it felt like to be taken care of, and she was starting to believe that she deserved it.

Rey dusted herself off and carried on—one down, two to go. 

Date #2: Bodhi, 27, Newspaper Editor/Clowning Enthusiast 

Rey found Bodhi on Nerve.com, an edgier hipster dating site that appealed to artsy types. After trying out a mature, stable man, Rey thought it would be fun to mix it up (or maybe she just wanted a nice dirty hookup to take the edge off for a minute). After all, she was just trying to cleanse herself of Poe and have some fun, not find her future husband. 

Bodhi suggested they meet at a nice pub, Maz's Tavern, with votive candles and high-backed wooden booths. He was late, so Rey read a book while waiting for him to arrive. It was this silly teen vampire romance that she knew shouldn’t love as much as she did, but couldn’t help but devour page after page, every chance she got. She was still undecided if she was Team Edmund, or Team Jason.  

I feel you, Beatrix, she thought. After all, she was also a single lady torn between multiple men. Ten minutes after their scheduled meeting time, Bodhi showed up looking flustered.

“So, so sorry I’m late. I was just talking to this guy on the corner. I saw he was wearing a Marvel shirt, so we started talking about this comic book I’m drafting with my friend Cassian. Anyway, let me buy you a drink.”

Rey just nodded and said, “Sure,” as he flagged the nearby server. 

Despite being a bit of a hot mess, he was actually pretty cute. He was a little on the shorter side, but he had just the right amount of stubble, and he filled out his tight gray t-shirt quite nicely. As their date got going, he was very chatty and maybe a little too excited about sharing his love of the father of the art of Clowning (literally just dressing like a clown for fun), which was sincerely offputting, no offense to professional clowns. Regardless, Rey, in her current dry spell, simply couldn’t resist his warm chocolate eyes and adorable smirk. As her Jameson and Ginger ale warmed her stomach and relaxed her tense body, she started to pay more attention to his pecs than the words coming out of his mouth.

When she did tune back in, she learned a bit about flying squirrels, the importance of leaving honest Yelp Reviews, and his desire to swim in the English Channel.  She was grateful that he was as generous with ordering more drinks as he was talkative.

Rey was starting to realize why she loved Poe so much. He knew when to shut up. Bodhi didn't pay for the meal but graciously offered to carry the bag containing each of their leftovers. 

For some reason (horniness), Rey acquiesced to following him to another bar, the Leviathan, her favorite, because they had free popcorn (self-serve to boot).

Bodhi got himself another drink, which he did not need, and Rey declined, eager to return back to her apartment and her beloved Rose. Bodhi then went into a diatribe about how much he loved stop motion animation. Rey started tuning him out and was actually relieved when a somewhat weird man with a cute dog came over. 

“I think we should go,” she said to Bodhi, who was swaying a bit on his feet and asking the dog owner how he felt about clowns. 

“Let’s go, buster.” Rey grabbed him by the arm of his hoodie and led him firmly out of the bar. Despite his drunken state, he was a gentleman and walked her home.

When they arrived on her porch, he immediately leaned in for a goodnight kiss. Rey was electrified, her body betraying her common sense. She had forgotten what those sexually charged first kisses and hugs felt like because she certainly didn’t feel it with Joonas. She decided at that moment that Bodhi would be her Official Not at all Romantic Rebound, and she would have fun with him and his pecs. She definitely would not be falling for his personality. At least when they were kissing, he would be quiet. 

They passionately made out on their way up to her third-floor walkup and crashed into her bed, lips and hands fumbling wildly for purchase as they tangled tongues. 

All too suddenly, Bodhi pulled away. 

“So, I may or may not have an STD, I’m not sure which one or if it’s more than one. This girl I hooked up with a few weeks ago called me to tell me about it yesterday, and I felt bad canceling with you last minute. I’m not sure if I even have it, um-them- but I just thought you should know before we go any further.” 

Instant boner killer. Rey always used protection and got tested regularly, but the passion was pretty much zapped out of that moment when the cold hard reality of having sex with strangers set in. She’d been so spoiled with Poe, although she imagined she should probably get tested now, too, since he was a low-down, good-for-nothing cheater. 

“Um, Bodhi, this has been fun, but that kind of took me out of… whatever this was. I think I’m just gonna call it a night.” 

“I really like you,” he said breathlessly and sincerely. “Maybe we can try again after I get my results?”

She had to give him credit for trying despite his confession. Horny Rey wondered how bad STDs really were.  

Mmm. Better not.

Rey feigned a yawn and made a big display of stretching her arms over her head. 

“Man, I am so sorry. I’m just really tired all of a sudden.” 

She stood up and handed him his hoodie, thrown passionately on the floor only moments before, and corralled him towards the front door with a hand on his upper back. She smiled and shut the door, meeting his surprised eyes as the door closed in his face.

The spell of Bodhi’s pecs now broken, Rey realized she just didn’t want to lead him on. Nor did she want to consign herself to a life, however short-lived, of long monologues on obscure topics. So much for her effortless rebound guy. 

Bodhi called her the next day to remind her that he forgot to grab his leftovers and asked if they could meet up so he could get them, but she feigned busyness. 

He continued to call and text for a few days after, and Rey tried her best to ply him with noncommittal and lukewarm responses. Eventually, she just stopped responding when he didn’t get her gentle hints that she wasn’t interested. He was so nice, and she didn’t have the heart or the chance to really say much that would make it clear in between his declarations of his love for clowns. Maybe it’s why he liked her so much, she mused, wondering if she had the heart to try and date someone ever again.

Two down, one to go.

Date #3: Armie aka “Hux”, Graphic Designer

Rey shared an instant e-connection with Armie, who preferred to go by his last name Hux. Their correspondence was replete with witty banter and clever quips traded back and forth for a few days before they finally made plans to meet IRL. 

He seemed cocky and a bit full of himself, but his sense of humor really won Rey over. She liked his confidence and self-assuredness.

She felt like she and Hux had a lot in common, and he would be really fun to have as a friend if the date didn’t work out for some reason. Two mediocre dates hadn’t yet quashed her hopeful optimism. 

Hux wasn’t exactly her type (his pics made him look a tad like Rob Wizzly from that book series about teenage magicians). He also had a penchant for tight pants and pointy boots and had a big silver ring that made Rey take extra pause. Was this guy more fabulous than her—and could she handle that?

However, meeting him in person was like meeting that guy’s much less interesting twin. Not only were his pictures inaccurate, but he was reserved, dull as all get out, and seemed equally bored with her as soon as they shook hands. 

He’s disappointed with me? she scoffed to herself silently. She was two for two on her dates so far and feeling confident that she was definitely kissable and her hair smelled pretty good. 

Rey rolled her eyes when he suggested bike riding but pulled out her rusty orange hunk of junk anyway.  

She strapped on her dorky, oversized helmet and set out on her old bike, affectionately named BB after an orange cat she had in one of her many foster homes as a small child. It squeaked a bit when she pedaled, but it got her from point A to point B. Hux met her on the main drag, and they then pedaled over to the park. 

He laid out a blanket for them (nice), and he brought out a retro picnic basket with plastic wine glasses and a bottle of Merlot. He made a big show of setting everything up and looking at her for approval as if this was some grand, exciting gesture (weird flex, but okay). 

Despite herself, Rey was a little impressed but then quickly realized he must bring this pretentious wine setup on all his bike dates. Still, she did her best to enjoy the tepid wine, even though she preferred white over red. They talked about music he liked and Hux’s dreams of being a musician one day. 

He still has the potential to be a friend; maybe, she thought wistfully as he droned on and on without ever asking her about herself. They did share a lot of interests, which he would know if he bothered to inquire. Still, the conversation was pleasant enough, and they would have stayed longer if not for the early summer flies that started eating them alive.

Rey realized in her now drunken state that she must have a taco, so they got back on our bikes and headed to a restaurant. Rey was thankful for her unattractive but extremely vital helmet as she struggled to navigate the busy streets of Chandrila without swerving (or being hit by a car). Despite not loving the wine, she had still managed to drink plenty of it, building up quite a buzz.

They locked their bikes to a Stop sign and went inside to have a fairly pleasant meal, or so Rey thought. When the check came she pulled out her wallet and he didn’t say “I’ll get it” like Joonas, or offer to split it like Bodhi before him. She figured this meant he wasn’t into her. 

Fair enough, she wasn’t into him either, and she was, after all, an independent woman now who didn’t need a man to pay her way. Rey waited awkwardly for the busy server to acknowledge them so she could change her twenty-dollar bill for her share of the modest meal. Clearly unable to bear the awkward silence that mingled with their fading wine buzz, Hux finally (and reluctantly) slammed his money down and said, “Let’s go, Rey.” 

Her hero. 

He offered to ride Rey back home since she happened to live across from his favorite dance venue, Batuu. He wished her a hasty goodbye as she locked up her bike on the fence surrounding the empty lot next to her apartment building. 

“Have fun,” she said to his retreating backside as he ducked into the dance hall, presumably to find another more suitable mate. The night was young, after all. Rey relaxed her shoulders in relief that he was gone and clambered up the stairs to her apartment.

“Honey, I’m home,” slurred Rey as she dropped her purse on the floor and flopped next to Rose on the couch.

“How’d it go?” Rose asked tentatively.

“Don’t ask,” Rey responded with a huff.

“Say no more,'' said Rose and handed her the rest of the bottle of Riesling sweating on their nicked-up pine wood coffee table. Rey took a swig and rested it on her abdomen. 

“I think I’m done dating for now. I’m just going to take a chill pill,” Rey said before taking another swig.

“I think that’s wise,” Rose responded with a giggle. “Give me my wine back you drunk.*

She had to laugh when Hux texted her the next day at nine PM for “Netflix and Chill” that same night. Nice try, Mister. Instead, she went out with Rose and Jannah for more drinks. 

Rey texted Hux “too drunk to bike” and blew him off. She definitely didn’t want to set foot in his apartment, let alone have that awkward “Are we going to kiss?” moment when she knew that she definitely didn’t want to kiss him. If Joonas taught her anything, it was that if there was no chemistry, there would be no makey-outey.

“Fool me once,” she blurted over a table full of empty and in-process highball glasses. 

Rey was still stewing that she had to insist that he take her wine-drunk ass out for tacos at dinnertime.  

“He clearly planned a long evening with the bikes and the ‘picnic’” she gestured with hand quotes. “He figured I’d what, live off red wine? You guys both know I need food; it’s my love language!”

“We know,” deadpanned Jannah with a sarcastic eye roll as she slowly stirred her Jaeger and RedBull with a tiny red straw. 

“There, there, my horny little friend,” joked Rose. “Just keep swimming. You’ll find someone soon enough! I read in Chandrila Magazine that there are way more men than women in this town, so the odds are ever in your favor!”

“Thanks, that makes me feel sooo much better!” Rey huffed back. She groaned, “Let’s go to the Alderaan Lounge for shitty pizza. All this bad date talk is making me want to eat my feelings.” 

“Actually, that sounds like a fantastic idea,” Jannah retorted. She downed the rest of her drink and slammed her glass on the table. 

“Let’s go bitches, first round’s on me,” Rose declared.

After a week of Rey ignoring his advances, Hux sent Rey a shady email. 

SUBJECT: Don’t waste my time

BODY:

Hey Rey, listen baby, if you don’t want to come to my place for a cuddle and a mindblowing makeout session, you could at least make it up to me for ditching me. Let’s get some styrofoam road sodas at the Takodana Bar and go for a bike ride later.

Huxie Poo

Banking on the glimmer of hope that they could at least be friends (he was so fun to talk to online, after all), Rey responded with witty banter that was not at all flirtatious. How do you say “I just want to be friends” to a character such as Hux and really mean it?

SUBJECT: Re: Don’t waste my time

BODY:

Ha! Sad to say I have yet to hone my drunken biking skills. I’m lucky I made it home alive last time and didn’t end up face-down in a gutter on Alderran Boulevard! Maybe another time. I’m usually at the Outer Rim on Saturdays if you’re around and want to sync up with me and my friends. And remember, don’t drink and bike!

Rey. Just Rey.

Rey never heard back from Hux.

Chapter Text

One afternoon, Rey met up with her honorary aunt, Dr. Amilyn Holdo, her former college counselor, now a renowned psychiatrist. Back when Rey first moved to the States to study at Coruscant College on a software engineering scholarship, Dr. Holdo helped Rey navigate the complex system of student housing and financial aid, listened to her cry about her lifelong sense of loneliness, and reminded her that she was stronger than she could ever know. They stayed in touch after Rey graduated since Dr. Holdo was also moving to the city to pursue her doctorate at CU. From then on, she had always available when Rey needed her. 

Halfway through their pleasant chat over coffee at Falcon Coffee, Dr. Holdo told her she had a confession to make.

“So, kid, I’ve been really feeling for you with everything you’ve been going through with Poe and all, so I went ahead and posted an online personal ad for you. Get this,” she proudly explained, gesturing with both hands, “Mentor Seeks Perfect Match for her Incredible Protege - 25, Chandrila.”

Rey nearly spit out her latte. 

“Are you KIDDING me?” Rey sputtered in response to the dastardly plan.

“Listen, I know you’ve been on a lot of bad dates. I figured I’d help you separate the wheat from the chaff! Dating can be tough in this city. Trust me, I know.”

“I’m sorry, but when have you ever actually struggled with men?” Rey laughed. 

Professor Holdo was a tall, statuesque woman with a frosting of lavender curly hair sculpted artfully above her regal forehead and high cheekbones. For a woman comfortably settled into middle age, she was still undeniably gorgeous. Age was nothing but a number, at least for Dr. Holdo.

“I know, I know. But finding the right one is hard. Trust me! I’ve got your back. I won’t send you any weirdos,” she chuckled.

“Thanks, I find plenty of those on my own,” Rey huffed as she took a deep pull of her latte from an oversized mug.

She gazed pensively at the passersby on the street outside the large picture windows of the dimly lit cafe. The bright daylight filtering in from outside blinded her a bit until she could only make out the dark, amorphous shapes of people moving past on the sidewalk beyond. Everyone else seemed to be going somewhere. 

Yet Rey couldn’t help but feel… lost. 

*

Date #4: Ben, 28, Software Sales

Rey reluctantly agreed to go on one more date, thanks to Dr. Holdo’s Craigslist ad. 

Dr. Holdo forwarded the surprisingly well-written response from a guy named Ben. Rey was quite taken aback by how he used proper punctuation and paragraphs in his response, somehow grasping that Dr. Holdo needed to be impressed before she would let his application get past her inbox.

Rey and Ben emailed back and forth a few times, getting to know the basic details of each other’s lives, and Rey was struck by how intelligent he sounded. He wasn’t snarky like Hux and didn’t overshare like Bodhi. He grew up with both parents in a nice neighborhood, went to a different school at the same university, and just moved into his own place a few years ago in one of the quieter neighborhoods of Chandrila, popular among young families who were settling down.

Upon request, he sent her one grainy photo of himself from head to toe. He had an athletic, muscular build with a broad chest. His arms were crossed over his chest in the photo, accentuating his large biceps. He seemed pretty cute, but she couldn’t quite be so sure from his blurry photo. She guessed he was not the selfie type - was it taken with an actual camera? She had only gotten a smartphone a year or two ago, so maybe he was still catching up with the latest technology. He did answer an online personal ad, after all, when most people were on dating sites now.

They tried and failed several times to make plans, but the timing just never seemed to work out. Rey tried focusing more on having fun with her group of friends - Rose and Finn, Jannah and Zorii. Everyone was coupled up except her. Poe used to be her plus one when they all got together, but now she was more like the fifth wheel. Rey was pretty sure they all still spoke to Poe, or at least crossed paths with him, since they all lived in the same area of Chandrila. At least they were kind enough not to tell her if they did.

A few weeks later, Ben finally got Rey to commit to a plan. He had a nice evening planned - a meal at Bebé Ait, a quaint little French place she had never been to, and Bounty Hunter Bar, the type of place that served drinks with muddled fruit at the bottom. She couldn’t help be impressed that he somehow knew to feed her, first and foremost. 

The afternoon before the big date, Rey wandered up Alderaan Boulevard to burn off some excess energy. Rose was busy planning her upcoming year abroad in Busan to teach English to children. 

After a few hours, she texted Rose: 

1:32 PM: I’m going nuts can you meet me for coffee

1:34: Sorry, I’m busy planning a bomb-ass karaoke night for us this weekend. You’re coming right?

1:35 PM:  Come on, I’m lonely. I don’t know about this. I’ll come to karaoke if you come and rescue me from this date!

1:36 PM:  Leave me alone - Finn just finished with his run - go bother him.

 

1:36 PM:  Finn, come meet me for coffee

1:38 PM:  New phone, who dis?

1:38 PM:  Bruh…

1:39 PM:  …

1:39 PM: FINN

1:41: Fine - I’ll meet you at Trooper Bagel

1:41: Ugh their coffee is just subpar

1:42: You’ll live. 

Ten long minutes later, Finn jogged up to the cafe where Rey was already waiting for their drinks. Iced latte for her, chai latte for him. 

“I don’t know if I can go on yet another bad date,” she groaned as she sipped her surprisingly good latte through a plastic straw. 

“Then don’t go,” he insisted. “Rey, it’s okay to admit defeat and take a break, you know,” he laughed. 

“Easy for you to say,” she whined. “You and Rose are such hashtag couplegoals. I want what you guys have.”

“I know, I totally get it; we are kind of amazing.” 

Rey rolled her eyes at him and slurped down the last of her drink audibly, wanting to annoy his smug ass as much as possible. 

“But so are you, Rey, trust me. You were not meant to be alone forever. Just enjoy being single and have fun. It won't be long before you’re locked down like we are.”

“Finn, that is my best friend you are talking about, so watch it, buddy,” she joked as she gently punched his shoulder. 

“Ow!” he gasped, clutching his arm and laying his best puppy dog look on her. “Keep that up, and you will definitely be single forever!”

Rey shot him a death glare. “Listen, Storm. These are my last few years of justified sluttiness before I settle down, I'm going on this one last date, and then I am embracing the single life,” she remarked.

“Good for you, Rey. Whatever happens, I know you’ll be fine. And if not, you have me and Rose to take care of you in your old age,” Finn quipped. “Maybe we’ll let you stay in the pool house as long as you clean it.”

“You’re lucky this drink is done, buddy or it would be covering your face right now,” she threatened. “Wait. Does that mean you want to grow old with Rose?”

“Yeah, I mean, I gotta lock it down before she leaves for Peace Corps,” he replied with a sly grin before taking a sip of his chai.

“Oh my God, you’re going to propose?!” she exclaimed

“Settle down, Johnson. I’m just waiting for the right moment.”

“Oh wow, I'm so happy for you. I don’t know how I’m going to play it cool at home. You better hurry up, my friend.”

“All in due time. All in due time,” he responded. “I was thinking of doing it at her going-away party. Try and contain yourself until then.”

“No promises, but seriously. That’s awesome. Now that I’m going to definitely be your third wheel for the time being, the least you can do is walk me to this date and give me an out if he looks like a murderer.”

“Yeah, wow, you're right. I better escort you for sure. I’ll pretend to faint if he looks shifty,” he said, almost too excitedly. 

“Maybe I should cancel, I just don’t know.” 

“Haven’t you already canceled, like, three times? Just give the guy a chance, Rey. I got your back.”

He did seem so nice in his emails, and he hadn’t given up on her after weeks of her indecisiveness.  

“Thanks for nothing. Now, I definitely can’t cancel. Let’s go before I change my mind.” 

Rey and Finn had somehow managed to wile away the whole afternoon, and now she wouldn’t have time to change before their date. 

She was sporting a threadbare white t-shirt where you could definitely see her black bra, along with short, artfully tattered jean shorts and simple black flip-flops. She hadn’t been able to get her signature three-bun hairstyle right, perhaps out of nervousness, so she just let her loose air-dried waves cascade freely over her shoulders before she ran out the door.

Take me or leave me, baby, I got nothing to lose.

She was still hopeful, but everyone had their limits, especially after the experiences she just endured.

What good would trying so hard actually do for me anyway? She wondered. Nothing so far, other than to capture a few weirdos for some seriously awkward dates. She resolved that she was going to this last date with zero fucks in tow. 

She was already planning her escape, where she would gleefully meet up with her friends afterward for drinks and more commiseration. Maybe she would stop dating for a while and just make out with a few hot randos.  

Just get it over with Rey; one last date, and this is it. She approached the corner near Bebé Ait with grim determination. 

“You good, Johnson?” Finn inquired, cocking an eyebrow at the mysterious man halfway down the block.

Rey could make out a well-dressed gentleman loitering on the sidewalk outside the restaurant. No way that’s him, she thought - look how nice he looks. It had to be someone else’s date, she thought. However, as she approached, he appeared more and more like his grainy photo.

“I, uh, think I’m gonna be okay,” she absentmindedly replied, her body already moving of its own accord towards the handsome stranger.

“Okay, uh, see you later, I guess,” Finn replied as he jogged back down towards Alderaan Boulevard, presumably to head back to their apartment and help Rose finish “planning.”

Immediately, Ben struck her as someone who had been in the military or at least carried himself like a man in uniform. He stood up straight as if he was proud of himself. 

As he should be I mean damn. 

His dark, wavy hair was on the longer side, but it neatly swept back off his forehead, framing his strikingly handsome face. A light constellation of moles dotted his face, complimenting his warm brown eyes.

He was dressed neatly and slightly, okay, much more, nicely than she was. He sported a fitted chambray button-down shirt, slim black pants, and trendy brown dress boots. He seemed even more fit in real life—had he possibly been working out more since that photo was taken? Rey felt an unexpected tingle rush through her body as their eyes met, and his piercing stare took her breath away. 

This is happening. Play it cool Rey, play it cool. 

He was very cute. Not just cute—gorgeous. Was he her type? No, but her type had not exactly served her well thus far in life. He looks really, really good, and his smile is doing something to me. She was so mesmerized, in fact, that she was unprepared when he enveloped her with his big arms for a friendly hug. 

“Hi,” he said as he pulled back, his hands lingering at her back. 

“Hi,” Rey stammered. She felt very underdressed and very seen as his eyes bored into hers.

“Shall we?” he said, placing his hand on the small of her back and steering her towards the restaurant before reaching around her to open the door for her. 

A gentleman.

She immediately felt the need to pee (too much coffee with Finn) and felt grateful for the break from his intense gaze. There was a rowdy bachelorette party at the back of the restaurant near the restrooms. 

“Maybe I should pretend to be the stripper,” he joked, causing Rey to gulp. 

Do not think of him naked. Rey wondered if her horny, deprived ass would make it through dinner without leaping on him.

She returned from the restroom to find that he had already grabbed them a table and had ordered them a whole bottle of white wine. A stark contrast to the tepid picnic wine that Hux had provided and totally unexpected for a typical guy in his twenties.  

Their server had a delightful British accent and was overly attentive. 

“My name is Charles, but people call me Threepio, because, well, oh, you don't want to hear that story,” he chatted while Rey and Ben had a staring contest.

He poured their wine and moved items to make room on the tiny French bistro-style table. He ran through the specials, but neither of them seemed to hear their eager server, so intensely focused they were on the other.

Ben would Not Stop Staring. Why was he making her so nervous? She was so over dating at this point, but she hadn’t felt like this on any of the previous ones. He looked at Rey like she was a precious work of art, and he had to memorize every brush stroke. Every now and then, instead of an awkward silence, there would just be Ben looking at Rey and Rey smiling sheepishly in return. Her cheeks took on a rosy hue; whether it was the few glasses of cold white Riesling or Ben’s unbroken attention, she couldn’t be sure.

Despite the unexpected intensity of the connection, their conversation flowed freely and easily. Rey got the sense that Ben was really listening to her. For all her complaining about her job and awkward jokes about the current dating scene, he seemed generally interested in what she was saying. 

She went to lift her glass only to find it empty; and then noticed the bottle was also long gone. Their plates had been cleared, and Threepio looked exhausted as he leaned his head on the doorframe across the room. Rey looked at her watch. Two whole hours had passed like minutes. 

Ben asked for the check, handing his card to the server without so much as glancing at the receipt. 

“I’ll be right back - don’t go anywhere,” he said, almost a little too seriously. She was glued to her seat, only snapping out of it as the door closed behind him. She texted Rose:

9:32 PM: ROSE!

9:33 PM: Rey - are you okay? Is he a murderer? Should I send Finn back over there?

9:33 PM: Rose - he’s amazing. He’s like, so cute, and we just talked for 2 hours. EEEE!

9:34: PM: Omg you scared me. Glad to hear it hun - now get the hell off your phone!

 

She put her phone back in her bag, smiling to herself. Ben emerged from the restroom, and she overheard the bachelorette exclaim in a thick Chandrila accent, “Oh my gawd, I thought he was the stripper!”

Rey covered her mouth as a giggle escaped, “Is there something you’re not telling me?” she asked when he returned to pull out her chair.

Ben grinned and winked, “Off duty tonight.” 

He looped his arm around her back and guided her to the door as they departed for the nearby Bounty Hunter Bar. Rey couldn't help but notice that he put his hands on her every chance he got. She could get used to this.

“Gosh, I don’t know what to order,” she remarked as she pored over the 18-page cocktail menu. “This is a far cry from pitchers of Pabst at the Corellian.”

“Nothing wrong with a good old-fashioned beer,” he said, “Although I prefer a Miller High Life if we’re talking cheap beers.”

“Oh my god - the Champagne of Beers, it’s my favorite! The bottle is kinda sexy,” she giggled in return.

“Two High Lifes,” he told the bartender with two, long, thick fingers held in the air. 

He was authoritative but not at all rude. It kind of turned her on. He handed her a bottle and clinked his to hers while making that devastating eye contact.

“To sexy bottles.” 

He started rubbing Rey’s back casually as he sipped from the narrow-necked bottle. She warmed to his touch and closed her eyes, getting lost in the sensation that caused goosebumps to cascade out through her limbs like gentle sparks.

“Let’s go out back,” he said, leading the way.

They made our way to a small table in the corner, and another hour went by in a flash as they chatted happily. They sat quite close to each other on a long bench with a high back, perfect for leaning back and relaxing. He smelled so good. 

Maybe it was nerves, but it was an election year, so politics were at the top of her mind. Rey mentioned she was a feminist and really liberal, and he didn’t flinch. 

“Oops, no politics on the first date,” Rey blurted out, realizing her gaffe.

“It’s cool,” Ben replied. “I like that you have strong opinions. It shows conviction. Some people don’t stand for anything.” 

Rey glowed. 

Is this guy for real?

Ben wrapped his arm around Rey. “This feels...right. I’m not normally like this with someone I just met, but it feels exactly how it should,” he said. 

She was the perfect height to nestle beneath his chin as she melted into his embrace. He made her feel small, in a good way. She could picture cuddling on the couch with him already.

He backed away slightly, and she peered up at him, confused and a bit sad at the sudden loss of warmth she had felt while ensconced in his giant arms. 

Oh , she thought - as he stared back at her with dark, hooded eyes. 

He leaned in suddenly, crushing her lips with his, threading his large fingers through her hair, cupping the back of her head, and drawing her close again. She tentatively drew her tongue across his bottom lip, unleashing something animalistic in him. His tongue dove out to meet hers, tangling in a passionate kiss, more and more breathless, hands roaming down her back and moving to cup her ass. Rey could sense that the other patrons were staring and rolling their eyes, but she didn’t care. 

“You’re gorgeous,” he said when they came up for air. 

She stared at his muscular biceps, finding she couldn’t help but wrap her much smaller hand around one of them to give it a gentle squeeze.   

“So are you,” she replied huskily. 

“You wanna get out of here? I think they may be on the verge of kicking us out anyway.” 

“Yes, definitely,” she replied, her mind a bit foggy, willing to agree to just about anything he asked of her at this moment.

They were within walking distance of her apartment, so he chivalrously offered to escort her home. The fresh air cleared the cloud of lust a bit so she could think clearly again. Rey couldn’t believe her luck. He was the first guy she’d been on a date with who let her talk but still had something to offer in return. He was smart, he seemed to have a great head on his shoulders, and was happy with his quiet, uncomplicated life. He didn’t opine about becoming a musician or seem to have any clown-related or otherwise suspicious hobbies.

He dropped hints throughout their long chats that he was interested in marriage and kids without seeming desperate or crazy. He also casually let on that he owned a car, a rarity for anyone living in Chandrila. What in the Stable Future Husband Material was happening?

As they approached her door, he pulled her in for another kiss that quickly became heated. Before she knew it, he had her backed up against a large delivery truck parked in front of her building. She briefly wondered if they would set off the car alarm as their hands roamed over each other’s bodies. 

“I have no intention of bringing you upstairs, mister,” she said, remembering that this guy was suddenly More than a Rebound. 

Bodhi’s recent STD confession rang loudly in her ears and gave her pause despite the warmth pooling between her thighs. She would definitely have sex with Ben if he came upstairs, but maybe this guy was worth more than that. 

Rey willed herself to pull her tongue out of his mouth. 

“You better leave before I forget my manners,” she laughed.

Surprisingly, he didn’t argue. 

“I want to see you again soon,” he said, tucking his index finger under her chin to force her to look up into his eyes. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

He gave her one more prolonged kiss before wishing her goodnight and swiftly taking off towards Alderaan Boulevard. She stared after him briefly and quickly scrambled inside before she moved to chase him down and pull him inside with her.

Rose accosted Rey as soon as she entered their tiny apartment.

“Bitch, you’re home very late, so it must have been good!” She shrieked.

Rey just smiled. 

“Oh my God, it was good! Your face is all red - were you… MAKING OUT?” Rose gathered Rey in her arms to spin around and jump up and down together.

“Oh my God, it was Rose!” Rey sighed. “I think I’m in love. We don’t have, like, a ton in common, and he’s totally not my type, but we just had the hottest makeout session of my life downstairs… and at the bar…”

“You dirty dog! Thanks for not making me listen to that tonight,” Rose exclaimed with a playful slap to Rey’s shoulder. 

“I just can’t believe I was ready to throw in the towel, and that just happened. Maybe it’s good he’s so different from Poe. Maybe it’s just what I need to finally get him out of my system.”

“Exactly! Just have fun with it, boo, don’t overthink it too much.”

Rose was right. It was good to mix it up. She had spent way too much time trying to get Poe to think she was fun and exciting. So what if she wasn’t into punk rock, or obscure impressionist art like he was? He had Phasma for that now. 

Ben was hot. He was well-dressed and had a good job at a software company, just like her. He owned an actual vehicle instead of a skateboard. He wanted marriage and kids and had his own place in a beautiful neighborhood. He was exactly what she never knew she wanted until now, despite her dreams of marriage and kids. Maybe he was exactly what she needed. Though she suddenly felt hardly ready for it now that it was right in front of her.

She had started to think she would be alone for a while before she met The One. Even though her dates were pretty bad up until Ben, she had no trouble getting plenty of them. She finally just wanted to have a little fun and enjoy being twenty-five in the city in summertime. Carefree, zero fucks given, maybe even a few slutty moments. 

So much for that!  Despite her best intentions, she knew she was about to fall fast and hard. She had dated an emotionally unavailable man for so long she had forgotten what it was like to feel truly wanted, not just tolerated. 

Ben was normal. He was not a man-child. He was not at all weird. He liked her.

And that made Rey really, really happy.

Chapter Text

One random Saturday, Rey got a text from Poe:

10:28 AM: Hey I found some of your stuff in my apartment. Can you come get it?

She gulped. She had somehow managed to avoid him despite living less than five miles away and sharing so many mutual friends. Did she lurk his Facebook profile to see pictures of him and Phasma snuggling and kissing? Maybe. Did it crush her a little? Sure. However, the thought of seeing Poe didn’t hurt her as much as she imagined it would now that she had Ben. She would be in and out of his place, get her stuff, and hopefully never speak to his stupid face again. 

She bravely knocked on the door of the apartment he now shared with his platonic female friend Bazine. She also liked punk and weird art and skateboarding, but she already had an equally annoying boyfriend. 

“Hey,” he said when he opened his door.

“Hey,” Rey replied, trying not to feel anything at all.

She was wearing one of her favorite embroidered sundresses, which was so short that you could see her underwear if she bent over. But that was the life of a taller girl on a budget. Anyway, why not show off her nicely tanned and toned legs? She wouldn’t be twenty-five forever, right? The hem hit slightly above mid-thigh, and she couldn’t help but notice Poe taking stock of this fact as he let her into his apartment.

“Sorry, I got sidetracked. Your stuff is right in here,” he remarked as he led her to his bathroom. Was he… nervous?

Poe kneeled down to fetch her hair straightener and a mirror from under the sink and paused. I should have just let it go and moved on. She kicked herself for even coming here. 

Rey tried to look anywhere but at him with her arms crossed over her chest, her body language matching her inner turmoil. Typical Poe to not get my things ready when he was the one to invite me over in the first place.

Suddenly, she felt a warm hand heavy on her thigh, creeping up beyond the hem of her skirt. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” She shrieked, almost jumping out of her skin.

“I, I’m sorry. It’s just that you look so good.” He bit his lip, still appraising her. All she could feel was disgust, and she wanted to cry. 

“Poe. It’s over. I’m dating someone else. Aren’t you with Phasma now anyway?”

“I am. it’s just– I don't know. Seeing you here, in that dress,” he tapered off. “ I don’t know what came over me.”

“Yeah, well, it’s really unfair of you. I can’t believe you would do this after everything-” 

Tears welled in her eyes. She would not let him make her cry again. 

To his credit, he looked genuinely upset. Even if he didn’t mean to, he couldn’t help but be a total asshole. Such was Poe. 

She roughly grabbed her things out of his hands and hightailed it out of the apartment without looking back, slamming the door behind her. 

She wiped back a tear with the back of her hand, and she trudged down the stairs. Why did it make her feel something? Why did she have the sense that if there was no Ben, she would have totally given in to him? 

Old habits die hard, I guess, she thought. But she was no longer addicted to Poe and his changing moods and allegiances. No longer desperate to get him to love her back in the way that she longed for. She was done with making herself available just for his convenience until he inevitably got bored with her again. 

She knew now that she deserved better.  

*

Ben and Rey continued texting daily and spoke on the phone every night. They went on cute, wholesome dates like nature walks through the Chandrila Botanical Gardens and mini golf in the outer boroughs.  

They still hadn’t spent the night together. Despite some heated fumbling, they had yet to seal the deal. He seemed more intent on wooing her than getting in her pants, much to her chagrin. Rey battled with her desire to get it in versus realizing the potential future that was developing right in front of her. She couldn't help but feel frightened about what it all meant.

How would it feel to finally get everything she had ever wanted after a lifetime of longing? Did she even deserve that kind of happiness? 

*

“When is he going to let you in those big ol’ khakis of his?” Rose joked one morning over hangover eggs at their favorite brunch spot.

“You have no idea how hard it is, Rose,” Rey huffed. “I might get off if a strong wind blows on me. But I don’t know. Maybe it’s because he actually cares about me?” 

Rose put on her “pretends to be shocked” expression. 

“Rey, you beautiful, precious, absolute dumbass,” she teased as she picked up a french fry. “I've seen how he looks at you, and you two are always together. Plus, I could have sworn you were well on your way last night,” from the sound of it.

“You and me both! But then he stopped and pretended that he had to get up early the next day. He’s got some self-control, man. But I don't know - it's starting to feel super serious. I wasn't really expecting to be in a relationship again so soon. Hot Girl Summer Rose! Hot. Girl. Summer.”

“What do you really want, Rey?” Rose asked, taking on a more serious tone. 

That tone: the one Rose usually reserved for telling Rey what a total idiot she was being. Rose could be sweet as pie, but she would never again let Rey get away with doing anything that wasn’t in her best interest. Especially not after Poe.

“I think I might be falling for him, Rose.”

Rose didn’t say a word. She just leaned back in her chair, smiling and smugly sipping on her mimosa as she leaned back in her chair. 

“Stop it.” 

Rose lifted her eyebrows suggestively, and Rey tossed a french fry at her in return.

No one knew her as well as Rose did. She didn’t know how she would live without her next year when she left for the Peace Corps. It was time she started standing on her own two feet, and that started with acknowledging what she could no longer avoid. 

She was falling in love with him.

Chapter Text

One August night, after a fun day spent at the amusement park near Scarif Beach, Rey and Ben were cuddling on her secondhand couch. Ben gently stroked her back through another one of her short sundresses. It had snapped all the way down the front. They started from the top of the bust all the way down to the hem of the skirt. It was a deep crimson red, which she knew was Ben’s favorite color.

Rey’s mind naturally wandered to the topic of sex as her eyes raked over his soft pink lips and dark wavy hair. 

She had had some wild times with Poe, but it was always more about his needs than hers. Every time she begrudgingly fulfilled one of Poe’s kinks, she felt a little bolder and a tad more worldly but never seemed to share his enthusiasm for them. She was always contorting herself into different shapes, hoping she would finally turn into one that made him stop looking at other women; women that could give him whatever it was she couldn’t. 

Ben was different. He was gentle, understanding, and kind. He admitted he hadn’t been with that many women before her, always preferring long-term, monogamous relationships. He was very reserved with her friends, taking his time to let them in and see the version of him that he shared so freely with Rey. 

He might not be a social butterfly, but he was revealing himself to be a deeply good and kind person who treated her better than any other man she had ever known. Other than the occasional road rage incident, he seemed too good to be true. Her friends didn’t quite get what she saw in him beyond his looks, but they were also grateful that he wasn’t Poe.

“I want to be with you.” He said, staring into her eyes. There it was again: that intense stare from their first date. 

“You are with me, silly,” she joked, defaulting to her favorite coping mechanism: Dad jokes.

“No, I want to be your boyfriend, Rey. You’re all I want,” he responded, licking his lips. “Just you.”

It had only been a few weeks since their first date, but it had been absolutely magical between them ever since. Rey was suddenly terrified to get everything she had ever wanted. 

There was no denying it anymore. He was it for her. 

“I-I know it hasn’t been that long. But this just feels so right. Is it weird that I’m already picturing myself living in your apartment?”

He smiled. “You’re not alone, believe me.” His expression turned serious, and his voice softened.  

He had been gently stroking her arm the whole time, sending undulating waves of goosebumps throughout her entire body. He was warm and solid next to her on the couch, and their faces were so close. Rey never felt closer to him than she did at this moment. He was proving to be everything she had ever wanted in a man, save for the fact that he had yet to ravish her.

As if on cue, he quickly stood up. Without a word, he grabbed her by her arm and directed her towards the bedroom, his other hand pressing urgently into the small of her back. A little thrill coursed through her at what was to come. 

Her bed was only inches from the door (her room was a literal shoebox), and he quickly tossed her back onto the coverlet as he shut the door behind him. He leaned forward to cover her lips, her jaw, her neck, and her collarbones in fevered kisses. Rey marveled at the power of her own positive thinking. 

Ben pinned her arms above her head and held her wrists down with one firm hand, his other trailing down her body as he continued to kiss and lick her neck. She tried to wiggle out of his grasp with a nervous giggle.

“Ben, what are you doing?” 

Sure, their makeouts had been pretty intense thus far, but suddenly it was as if something was very different about him– like their newly forged commitment had made him feel safe enough to let loose the beast within.

“Shh. No talking. Unless you want me to stop, then say stop,” he said. He paused and dragged the pad of his index finger over her bottom lip, stretching it out and releasing it. 

“It’s okay. I want this. I want you.” She replied. 

A look of palpable relief washed over his features. But it was only a brief moment before his eyes darkened and his pupils widened. He slowly inserted two fingers into her mouth. 

She sucked them eagerly, running her tongue under the calloused pads of his thick fingers. A small muscle twitched under his left eye and he tensed his jaw as if trying to contain himself, his lips forming a tight line.  

“Get on all fours,” he barked, making her jump. Rey suddenly felt both scared and very aroused. He had never commanded her to do anything before. Thus far, he had stuck to the traditional, chivalrous, alpha male routine: paying for meals, holding doors open, recommending what to order at dinner. He made her feel so well-cared for. So safe. But nothing he did or said before had remotely hinted that he would be so dominant in bed.  

Ben stood at the foot of the bed, towering over Rey as she sat up to look at him. The gentle clacking sounds of the nearby subway rolling over the bridge across the street were punctuated only by their heavy breathing.  

“Ben I–” 

“I said no talking. Now, are you going to be a good little girl and do what I say, or do I have to punish you first?” 

Oh.

Rey had never known that this was something she would be into until that very moment. She was delighted to obey him. She wanted to be good for him now, and her throbbing pussy agreed wholeheartedly. 

“I’ll be good,” Rey said. She attempted to hide her smile as she turned around and clambered up onto her hands and knees. 

She had never bothered to put the blinds on her window because she loved natural light, and her apartment was short on light fixtures. Her bedroom was dark, so she could see outside, but no one would be able to see in. This was a bonus, considering the entire train would be able to look into her room if they so happened to glance at her window.

“Yes, that’s right. You're such a good girl for me. Good girls get rewarded,” he said in a deep, rich voice. 

She felt herself grow unbearably wet as he lifted the hem of the dress and placed it gently over her back as if laying out a fine napkin for a delicious meal. He sucked in a breath as he took in the sight of her sheer pink panties.  He palmed her ass, warming it and sending more goosebumps up her spine. 

“Your ass looks delicious in these, baby,” he crooned as he leaned over and nipped one of her cheeks with his teeth.

Rey gasped at the sharp pain, but despite the further protest that threatened to escape her lips, she felt her pussy grow even wetter. 

“Quiet! I have to prepare you. Can’t be waking your roommate either,” he hissed. He delivered a sharp thwack to her behind, rubbing away the sting with his broad palm.

Rey held in her whimper as best she could, though part of her wanted to make him even more angry to see what he would do. Rose would surely forgive her (eventually). 

“Much better,” he praised her. “I’ll be sure to make you scream plenty next time.” 

Ben dragged a thick finger over her covered slit, now soaking the delicate fabric. She shivered in response, deciding she was ready to move past the punishment phase if this was what being rewarded felt like.

“You’re so wet for me already. Greedy girl. I should have known you’d like being spanked.”  

He hooked his fingers over her waistband and pulled her panties down to her knees. She felt a rush of cool air over her backside, and her flesh pebbled. It wasn’t long before she felt him lick a wide stripe up her pussy from behind. She moaned loudly, hoping Rose wouldn’t hear through the wall. 

“I’ll let that one go,” he said. “But I’m not sure if Rose will,” he chuckled, breaking his Daddy voice for a brief moment. She loved that about him—his sense of humor and his empathy for her best friend.

Loved. She put the thought aside to enjoy the moment, even as it grew more intense with every passing moment.

Rose had already ensconced herself in her bedroom and cranked the fan up when she saw their cuddle session starting on the couch, knowing what they would likely soon be up to. She even gave Rey a thumbs-up when Ben’s back was turned before retreating into her room. Rey made a silent vow to treat her to brunch or a mani-pedi soon for all her troubles.  

Ben firmly grasped her thighs and continued to lap at her now dripping folds. He slowly inserted a finger to press down firmly on her G-spot. Rey moaned and bucked her hips, earning a swift, wet slap from his soaked hand.

“Stay still,” he commanded. “I can see you need a lot of training.”

“Yes, sir,” she replied, her snarky sarcasm failing her as she lost herself to his ministrations.

“You are so sexy like this, on display for me.” 

He added a second finger, quickening his pace in and out. Rey’s increasingly incoherent whimpers let him know that he was on the right track. How could he possibly expect her to be quiet when he was doing this to her?

He leaned back and slapped her ass again and then reached underneath her to rub achingly slow circles into her clit. He began alternating between stroking her there and dipping back into her pussy, making lewd, wet sounds. The tension was exquisite, and Rey already felt her pleasure building to a crescendo.

“Please, can I come, Ben?” she whined.

“I think you meant to call me Daddy, but we’ll get there. You will come, I promise you that. But Daddy has other plans for his good little girl,” he crooned, suddenly releasing her. 

She heard the swipe of his zipper and then his pants dropping to the floor. She was startled as he began dragging his hard, dripping cock over the top of her ass before dipping into the wetness pooling below. He slid the swollen head back and forth against her folds, teasing her. She bucked her hips in response, a silent invitation to take her. She mouthed a silent thank you that they had already shared their sexual histories and agreed to get tested a few weeks ago just to be safe. (She wouldn’t make that mistake again).

Instead of giving her what she so desperately wanted, he grabbed a fistful of her hair in his left hand and swept her whole body up with his right arm. He pulled her back to lean flush against his chest, his erection digging into her lower back. The rock-hard feeling of him was only slightly buffered by the gathered fabric of her dress.

He yanked her head back, exposing her neck, and licked up from the crease of her shoulder, stopping to suckle at her earlobe. It sent a jolt through her core, and she moaned in response. 

Holy shit. 

He released her hair and cupped both of his hands over her breasts, palming and squeezing them through the fabric of her dress. He dipped his fingers between the snaps and deftly yanked the top few snaps apart, revealing her bare chest.

He sucked in a breath at the reveal of her naked breasts, grinding harder into her back, and continued to pull apart the front of her dress, one snap at a time. 

“You dirty girl, not even wearing a bra. Did you know how badly I’ve wanted to fuck you all day? For weeks now?” He murmured into her ear, snapping his hips and grinding his erection into her back as a promise or perhaps a threat.  

Once she was completely revealed to him, he trailed down to her sex, circling her swollen nub again before diving in again with his large middle finger, eliciting an “ungggh” from Rey. His other hand massaged her breast—his hands needed to feel her, all of her—to hold onto her for dear life. 

“That’s right, baby. Gonna make you feel so good,” Ben groaned in her ear. 

She shuddered. He was behind her and in front of her— surrounding her. He brought his left hand up to circle her throat. His broad palm covered her neck, and his strong fingers clenched her jaw, keeping her still as he continued to pleasure her using masterful strokes with his other hand.

He picked up the pace, now dipping two fingers into her, pummeling into her faster, only to release and return to circling her clit slowly. The alternating sensations were exquisitely torturous. She vowed to try it on her own sometime. She felt her orgasm building, unable to move in his iron grasp. She had never been choked before, but she thought she could get used to it. It made her feel consumed, contained, and safe. She didn’t have to think—just feel.

“Ben!” was the only word she could manage to form as she skirted the edges of her bliss. 

He paused briefly only to press his leaking cock into her dripping entrance. He sheathed himself in one firm stroke, filling her to the hilt. They both let out an animalistic growl as he took her from behind, starting slow at first. He took his time pulling all the way out and then slamming back in. He dropped both hands to her shoulder to steady himself as he began to lose his control. 

He could no longer play the game of keeping her on the edge seeming to lose himself in the sensation of being inside her. 

“So warm, so wet, so tight. Just for me. You’re mine ,” he growled into her neck, her hair a curtain over his face. Whatever he had been holding back before they became official, he now felt safe to unleash full force. And Rey knew that she would never get enough.

She was overcome. Ben, sensing he couldn’t hold on much longer, gave one more round of circles to her clit with the pads of his large fingers. 

“Come for me. Now.”

She squeezed her eyelids shut as the sensation overtook her—her cunt spasming around him as he continued to thrust with abandon. She felt so full of him, and the intensity of his movement against her pulsating core was exquisite. Rey fell forward on her arms, letting him rock into her as she rode the final pulses of one of the best orgasms of her life. 

She knew for sure Rose could hear them now. But just like on their first date, when they made out at the bar, she didn’t care who heard or who saw them. Her eyes opened to see the train dancing down the track just outside her window, only a few thousand feet away. 

She imagined what would happen if someone caught her eye as they peered out from the window of the moving subway car. Maybe they would give her a quick nod of approval like Yeah, get it girl.  

She wanted the world to know she was his.

Ben’s fingers dug deeply into her hips as he met his own climax, filling her with his hot release. He collapsed forward, peppering her back with kisses and nuzzling his strong nose into her neck. He slowly rolled onto his back, pulling her back against his chest as he softened and slipped out of her. 

Ben swept Rey’s hair back from her face, the scent of her still on his fingers. Mine , she thought. He gently grabbed her chin to pull her in for a slow, languorous kiss. Ben gently closed Rey’s dress and hugged her tightly with his strong arms.

“Good girl,” he praised, letting out a deep breath.

Rey beamed at the praise as they spooned on the bed.

“Now I’m definitely picturing myself living in your apartment,” she laughed.

He let out a low chuckle and pulled her closer. 

“So am I,” he responded softly.

Chapter Text

Finn made good on his promise to propose to Rose at her going-away party to join the Peace Corps. But it was a cold comfort; nothing seemed to quell the sadness Rey felt at Rose’s impending departure.

Their lease was ending, so Rey decided to accept Ben’s offer and move her meager belongings into his spacious pre-war apartment. It felt a bit fast; pretty much a theme in their relationship thus far. But the thought of saving money and having sex with Ben whenever she wanted was more than enough to convince her it was the right step. They were already planning vacations, starting to binge-watch shows together, and spending less and less time going out to bars. There was nothing out there for them anymore—they already had what everyone else seemed to be looking for.

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” Rey sniffled as Rose’s shindig was winding down.

“I know, I’m gonna miss you too,” Rose replied wistfully.

Tears formed in both of their eyes.  

“Nothing could ever break us apart. Plus, you obviously have to be my maid of honor at my wedding. Actually, I suggest you start planning—I’ll send over my spreadsheet as soon as I’m settled!”

Rey chuckled and met Finn’s twinkling, love-filled eyes across the room, giving him a nod. Her heart might be splitting in two, but somehow, she knew everything would be okay. 

*

A few weeks later, Ben helped Rose move her stuff into storage and took Rey out to cry over a cheeseburger that same night. She and Rose promised to video chat frequently. 

Rey focused her sights on settling into cohabitation with Ben. He whisked her off to IKEA to get extra storage for clothes since his spacious but outdated pre-war bedroom only had one dinky closet. They had their first fight while putting it together, but like most of their fights would end going forward, it was quickly resolved in their nearby bed.

They hosted parties and went on vacations. They strolled in the park and tried every restaurant in Chandrila’s downtown, somehow always ending up at the same small Italian eatery. They were usually one of three tables, and the staff knew their orders by heart. 

It was where they both blurted out “I love you” at the same time over a shared tiramisu. 

Ben introduced her to his large, loud, tightly-knit family, and they spent every holiday together. They all made her feel welcome and included. She fell deeply in love with them, too.

Then, finally, three years, six weeks, and forty-two days (not that she was counting) into their relationship, he proposed to her in their living room. Rey didn’t hear words, nor could she form an actual yes, as she focused on the shiny little item in the black box. All her dreams had finally come true.

A year later, Rey and Ben moved to the suburbs and had a dream wedding, thanks to Rose’s mad planning skills. Rose's year abroad had done nothing to dampen her and Rey’s love for each other. That shit was forever. 

After a romantic honeymoon, Rey and Ben bought a house just in the nick of time for their baby girl Leia to arrive. Baby number two, Tai, arrived a few short years later. 

The days were long, but the years were short - so much time passed so quickly as they built a life together and became their own little family. 

Marriage, check. House, check. Kids, Check. 

Boom: Happily Ever After. 

Right.

Chapter Text

It all felt like it was yesterday, those early days when they were just learning who they were and what they wanted out of life—and who they would become to each other. Rey couldn’t believe how much time had passed since their journey began. She hardly felt like an adult most days, even though she was now a thirty-five-year-old mother of two with a house and a real career.

Every now and then, it felt like she was watching her life like it was a movie, not something she was an active participant in. When she’d met Ben she hadn’t been ready to find the one. He’d taken her completely by surprise. Ten years later, it felt like she’d blinked and gotten everything she ever wanted. Weirdly, it sometimes felt like there was nothing to look forward to now. Why couldn’t she just enjoy it? Was it because she was afraid good things didn't last? That maybe deep down, she never deserved them in the first place?  

*

It was a quiet Saturday afternoon. Both kids were at a birthday party with Ben’s parents, and Ben was out doing yard work. There was always laundry to fold, but Rey decided to finally take some “me time” and take a much-needed nap. Ben would probably be out there for half the day—he really seemed to get lost in it. Sometimes, she wondered if he was just using it as an escape to avoid her and the kids.  

Rey shook off the sad thought that maybe he was avoiding her on purpose. She turned on the white noise machine and drew the blackout curtains, fully intent on taking a nap. However, as soon as her head hit the pillow, she started running through her never-ending to-do list. Then she started thinking about that awkward moment she had when she told one of her best Dad jokes to the grocery store cashier. 

“Would you like the milk in a bag?” 

“No, you can leave it in the carton.”

He didn’t even laugh, the fucker. 

It was times like these that the only thing that was guaranteed to knock her out was to have a nice little self-induced orgasm.

Rey put on her favorite erotic audio track: a role play based on the Space Battles films. This was the one where the bad guy captures the self-insert heroine and “interrogates” her. For some reason, having an anonymous man in a mask with a deep voice tell her exactly how to touch herself was very arousing. Plus, the guy in the movie was super hot when the mask came off. She loved a good, sexy villain. It very much reminded her of how Ben used to dominate her before they became a boring old married couple. Those were the days.

As instructed, she lifted her t-shirt and lightly circled each of her nipples with an index finger, pretending it was the Dark Emperor who was touching her. She then slowly trailed her fingers down her chest, raising goosebumps along the way. She reached into the waistband of her yoga pants and swiped her index finger through her slit. Her response to this audio was basically Pavlovian after so many listens, and she was already super wet. 

She alternated between quick and slow circles over her clit. She dipped into her pussy, adding one, two, and then three fingers, just as the Dark Emperor ordered. She gathered her wetness on her fingers, alternating between stroking her clit and penetrating herself. She relished the feel of the alternating sensations, slippery and sordid. Ben had always liked to touch her this way. Or at least he used to.

The Dark One then told her to choke herself, which she did gently, even though she couldn’t help but feel a little silly. It just wasn’t the same as having someone else do it for her. The feeling of letting someone else take the wheel so she could lose herself completely. She grasped her own throat tentatively while starting to stroke herself faster and faster. He ordered her to imagine him fucking her relentlessly as she remained strapped to the interrogation table. 

“Moan for me, girl,” he said, and she whimpered quietly, not wanting to make too much noise in case Ben somehow came back early from trimming the hedges.

*

Ben entered the house through the back door, tossing his black work gloves into the adjacent laundry room. He crossed the kitchen to grab a water glass from the cabinet. He wiped the sweat off of his brow with the back of his large hand and held the glass under the dispenser on the fridge to fill it with the cold, clear liquid. 

He took a hearty gulp and nearly choked on it when he heard what could only be his wife moaning… sexually. Ben looked back and forth, trying to pinpoint the sound. 

The baby monitor. 

They'd left it in their room to monitor the little guy who'd slept in after he'd passed out in their bed at four in the morning.  They must have forgotten to turn it off in the chaos of the morning. The screen was dark as it sat on the kitchen counter, but the power light was still on. He hit the large button on the top of the device, and the screen flickered to life. It was set to night vision, and it was trained on their bed, where his wife was–

Her back was arched, and her eyes were screwed shut, one hand circling her throat and the other furiously rubbing her clit. His cock twitched in his pants. He felt both aroused yet not quite guilty enough for intruding. 

Dirty girl , he thought with a smirk. 

*

Rey thought Ben must surely be done with the yard work by now. She tried not to get too distracted so she could finish the job before he interrupted her little escapade on his way to the shower. 

“Come for me, girl,” commanded the Dark Emperor. 

Rey obeyed and let the wave of pleasure crash over her, her legs sticking out straight out like a fainting goat. She muffled a deep, satisfied groan into her pillow and unclenched her tense body into a boneless heap. She heard Ben walking down the hallway towards the room and was grateful she had finished in time. Nothing was worse than edging herself when her opportunities to get off were so few and far between.

She crooked an eye open and was startled when she saw the baby monitor camera aimed directly at her. Oh, thank God. She relaxed as soon as she saw the green indicator light was not actually on and quickly fell asleep. 

Chapter Text

Ben relaxed when he saw that Rey was now fast asleep. He switched off the small monitor and crept quietly to the bedroom, adjusting his erection as it strained against his grass-stained jeans. He took care to open the bedroom door without rattling the knob as he made his way to the master bath. He paused briefly at their bedside to admire his beautiful sleeping wife, happy that she was finally catching up on some much-needed rest. 

He didn’t tell her this often enough, but she was an amazing mother to their kids, and he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her. He loved her more than ever. She was his best friend, his partner, his family. 

Sure, they hadn’t had sex in a few weeks–maybe months? He cringed when he realized how long it had been since they last had at it. But he still found her as attractive as ever. Her hips and breasts filled out more and more after each pregnancy. He appreciated how she still put on makeup even on days she didn’t leave the house, simply because it made her feel beautiful. Not to mention, he could never get enough of her endless rotation of tight black yoga pants. 

Despite his frequent, wife-induced boners, he and Rey rarely seemed to connect in the bedroom as of late. He couldn’t remember exactly when they gave up their suburban BDSM-lite lifestyle. But it had definitely been a few years since they had transitioned to mostly stolen quickies in between baby naps. More often than not, he chose to let out his frustration in the shower, one of the few times he was truly alone nowadays. 

Today was no exception. He got off in embarrassingly few strokes, remembering back to that first time when she had agreed to be his. 

It had been exhilarating when she played along with his daddy kink, validating his decision to trust her and give himself over to her completely. He had only waited so long to put a ring on it because of his own self-doubt. He had also wanted to save up enough to give her the ring he felt she truly deserved. Knowing she had grown up with so little, he was thrilled to be able to spoil her for the rest of their lives. 

He released his spend onto the tiled wall with a muffled groan, hoping he hadn’t woken her up, grateful for the white noise machine at that moment. As he rinsed away the evidence of his crime, he pondered their sad state of affairs. 

He used to love taking care of her in that way: showing her bratty ass who was boss and making her come over and over again as he filled her with his cum. Why had he stopped? All he could think of were excuses, but he knew they had both just let it happen. A layer of dust had practically settled on their sex life. 

She still slapped his ass every now and then as they passed each other in the kitchen or the living room and coyly asked him for couch cuddles and pre-bedtime neck rubs. But the moment was always lost when they had to instead focus on fulfilling special dinner requests for each kid or wrestling them into the bathtub. 

Instead of dominating her in the bedroom, he became controlling and critical around petty things like loading the dishwasher or Rey’s tendency to do careless things like leaving the kitchen cabinets wide open. How hard was it to close a cabinet, really?! Between their demanding corporate jobs and the unrelenting demands of childcare, they had long put the horniest versions of themselves on a shelf. 

Ben still thought of himself as pretty handsome, and random women often smiled at him at the gym. He always made sure to make a show of lifting a dumbbell with his left hand, allowing the bevel of his wedding band to twinkle in the fluorescent lights.

He still wanted Rey. But did she want him? What was with that moaning he’d heard on the baby monitor anyway?

He shook his head. Knowing Rey, it was probably porn. They used to watch a lot of it together in the early days and test out the silliest positions for fun. He laughed as he fondly remembered her calling him Daddy , and not just because he was known to change a diaper every now and then.

Feeling nostalgic for those early days, Ben thought back to when Rey had shown up for their first date in that see-through white t-shirt with those little ripped denim short shorts. It was then that he already knew he was gone for her. That first night they made love, he had unleashed his true self and taken what he wanted from her. And she had absolutely loved it. 

As long as he was with her, he knew he was on the right path. 

So he decided to follow her lead.

Chapter Text

The weekend after his lurid discovery, Ben was in the garage tying up cardboard boxes to take over to the recycling yard. Rey was addicted to Amazon Prime, and he was happy to indulge her, but man, the boxes just piled up. He would be out here for at least an hour, if not more. Maybe she needed to be punished . He grinned to himself, resolving to take advantage of his wife’s timely horniness for exactly this purpose. He wouldn’t consign himself to another sad jerkoff session in the shower—not today, at least. 

Over the past week, he had made an extra effort with his appearance and started wearing some of his older, snugger shirts to catch her attention. Age and stress had somewhat softened his midsection, but he still had large, broad pecs that Rey loved to run her hands over, and his arms were as large as ever. 

On more than one occasion, he caught her staring at him with a hungry look in her eyes. He decided to be bold and pulled her in for quick kisses as they passed each other in the hallway. He even let her choose the shows they watched each night after the kids finally succumbed to sleep and then took the kids so she could doze an extra half hour in the morning.

Whether or not she suspected anything, he couldn’t tell. But he knew for sure that she was utterly clueless that he had been privy to her performance. Thinking about it now, as he was tying up a bundle of boxes with a heavy string, he couldn’t help but form the beginnings of an erection. 

Maybe I’ll tie her up too. 

Earlier in the day, he put his plan in motion. He started by calling his parents to ask them if the kids could sleep over. They were absolutely over the moon, and his mom shouted an enthusiastic “Yes!” before he could even get the whole question out. 

After they hung up, he checked the baby monitor camera, wondering how she had failed to notice it the last time. But as he had suspected, the usually blaring green indicator light was definitely out. He sneakily flicked the switch to turn on the camera, still pointed strategically at her side of the bed. He was glad the little guy wouldn’t be home to usurp his spot next to her tonight. 

Rey had been pleasantly surprised when he urged her to take a nap before he headed to the garage. 

It wasn’t long before he heard a soft moan emit from the baby monitor, which he had toted along with him to the garage. It’s almost too easy. 

His cock throbbed with anticipation. 

Should I pounce now or let her finish? 

Both possibilities delighted him, but he didn’t want to scare or embarrass her. He wasn't quite sure how she would react to being caught in the act. Let her have her fun—who said she couldn’t come more than once? She certainly would if he had anything to do with it.

The sight of her throwing her head back with her eyes squeezed shut and whimpering softly completely did him in. He rushed to shut off the monitor and beelined it across the house to their bedroom. The anticipation was driving him wild.

“Babe, you up?” He whispered softly as he gently pushed open the bedroom door.

He peeked through the crack to see her frantically yank her t-shirt down. She flopped onto her side and pretended to be groggy. 

“Yeah, yeah, you woke me up,” she replied in her best sleep-addled voice. He couldn’t help but admire her commitment. He silently vowed to never let her be ashamed of finding her own pleasure again.  

“So,” he said, shuffling his toe on the carpet, doing his best to look nonchalant. “I almost forgot how sexy you look when you come.”

“Well, what, why, I…” 

*

Rey stammered as she struggled to comprehend his shockingly naughty words. Their recent (ha, ha) sexual encounters had been easy, comfortable, and safe. It’s like they say: sex is like pizza. Even if it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. Fanfic and the Dark Emperor were there to fill in the gaps when needed. 

But this was something else entirely. Hearing these filthy words come out of his mouth when only yesterday those same lips were forming Row, Row, Row Your Boat , was unhinging her.

“I said, little girl , Daddy likes how your face looks when you touch that pretty pussy of yours. Did you think of me while you were doing it?”

The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. He saw me. He saw everything. Not only that— he was back: the man she let consume her all those years ago. 

Daddy .

“That’s right. I saw you, baby. I saw it all. The way you arched your back. Your sexy little moans. The way you closed your eyes. How you opened your mouth so wide like you wished my cock was in it.”

Rey blushed and adjusted her clothing nervously. “I, I’m sorry you had to see that, Ben, it’s just–”

“No, no, no,” he assured her coolly as he stepped towards the bed. “Don’t you dare be ashamed. You have made Daddy very, very happy.”

Rey felt a gush of wetness as her pussy clenched in response to his praise. 

“Thank you, Daddy. I was worried I might have upset you. I understand if you still want to punish me,” she replied in a voice she almost didn’t recognize like a dormant part of her had been reawakened.

“That’s my good little girl,” he said as he pulled the baby monitor screen out of his pocket. 

“I bet you didn’t know that the camera light went out over a week ago. This is not the first little show I’ve enjoyed.” 

Oh God, she thought, as a pit formed in her stomach. But he was still here and clearly ready to do something about it. 

And oh, how she wanted him to.

“Unfortunately,” he scolded as he sat next to her on the bed and leaned into her space, “I’m a little upset that you didn’t invite me. So now we’re going to do things my way.”

“But, the kids should be home soon,” she said, nearly dropping the act. “I don’t want to rush this. I want to give you what you need. What you deserve , Daddy.”

“Such a good kitten you are, wanting to please me. And believe me, I'm very pleased. But you should already know that I always take care of everything. They’re already staying the night at my parents. Now go—put on something slutty for me and wait for my command.” He wagged the monitor in his hand with a stern look.

He promptly left the room, leaving Rey in stunned silence. Her brain worked a mile a minute as she flicked off the monitor camera and dashed to the bathroom to freshen up. Returning to the bedroom a few moments later, she pondered which of her limited supply of slutty lingerie still fit her. She dug in the back of her bottom drawer and found some cheeky black lace boy shorts and a skimpy black lace bra with cutouts that served no real purpose other than to be taken off immediately. She donned the meager scraps, saying a silent prayer that they would look okay, and donned her fluffy “mom robe.” 

She moved the baby monitor the camera from the nightstand to the dresser so she could give him a full view of the bed. She positioned it until she was satisfied with her staging. Her cheeks reddened as she took in her appearance in the large mirror, where she’d be able to see herself in action. She actually looked pretty good. A few stretch marks and cellulite here and there, but she couldn’t help but feel attractive. 

I would do me.  

Now that she was in her thirties, she saw her body differently, caring more about what it could do versus simply how it looked in the mirror.

Her once athletic and angular body had softened with age but with good reason. This body had grown, sheltered, and fed two beautiful human beings. It had been torn and cut open, and it had healed. It was a safe haven for her children to return to again and again for cuddles and comfort.

If she was going to keep exercising and eating right, it was so she could run fast enough to keep up with her children and lift them over her head, laughing joyfully. It would be for those rare occasions where she could run alone, with her favorite music playing. But, as she admired herself in the racy lingerie, she was reminded that it was still pretty good for this purpose, too.

Rey cleared the bed of all but the top sheet and a few pillows. Her mind was racing, wondering what kinds of filthy directives he was going to deliver through the camera’s tiny speaker.

She took a deep breath and flicked the camera back on.

Chapter Text

“Do you think you’re clever, keeping Daddy waiting so long?” He scolded, his voice low and gravelly, crackling through the camera speaker. He had to press the button on the monitor so she would only hear him if he wanted her to.

“Sorry, Daddy, I just wanted to look pretty for you.”

“You are so pretty, just for me. Now take off that robe,” he commanded in a stern voice.

She parted the loose fleece belt knotted at her waist with trembling fingers. Not being able to see his reaction was making her nervous. She felt so vulnerable, but she couldn’t remember the last time anyone other than the Dark Emperor had made her feel so turned on. Hearing her husband’s voice through the staticky-sounding speaker wasn’t a far cry from the modulated voice of her masked interrogator. She was wet already. 

“Get on the bed on all fours. Face the headboard.” 

Heat pooled in her core as she obeyed.

“That’s right, show me that sexy little ass of yours.” 

She stifled a giggle. It wasn’t as little as it once was, but she drank in his praise anyway. 

“Like this, Daddy?”

“Good girl. Spread your knees out more. I want to see what I’m fucking tonight.”

Cool air wafted over her now-soaked panties, making her shiver. The tease of his physical absence contrasted starkly with the weight of his invisible stare through the camera. 

It was so exhilarating to be watched in this way. As if they were brand new to each other. As if they were strangers who didn’t know the map of every plane of each other’s bodies.

Several seconds of silence passed as she grew more and more aroused. She imagined him pausing to start touching himself.

She was right. In the other room, Ben dipped into his waistband and fisted his cock, rubbing his thumb over the bead of precum at the tip. He wouldn’t just be making love to her, of that he was fucking sure.

“That’s good,” he spoke finally. “Now, pull your panties down to your knees.”

She sensed his veneer of control slipping as his voice quavered. Even though he was technically in control she couldn’t help but feel powerful.

“Stroke yourself with one finger. Do it now.”

She reached down and parted her lips with her middle finger, coating it with her slick desire.

“Tell me what it feels like.” She heard him suck in a breath.

“So wet for you, Daddy. It’s dripping down my hand. I wish this was your finger.”

“That’s so good, baby. Now put it inside.” She was so relieved to comply. 

“In and out, that’s right. Now add another one.” 

Her clit throbbed for attention, but she liked this delicious anticipation knowing she might come just from this.

“Good, good. Now add a third—but go slower. You’ve been so good. I’ll let you touch that little clit for me.” 

Thank God, she thought as she started her own rhythm. She drew out of herself to coat her clit with her wetness, moaning in response. It was deliciously excruciating.

“Fuck baby, it’s so hard to be out here watching you do that,” he said. She heard his breathing grow heavier. “Moan for me so I can hear how good it feels.”

She let out a low cry that she knew he would also hear from the living room in their small house. 

Hearing it echo through the monitor and the door nearly broke his composure. 

Her moans picked up speed as she got lost in her ministrations. It was so wild seeing his wife like this—she was both completely familiar and completely unknown to him at the same time. 

Ben began pumping himself, matching the pace of her luxurious strokes. She rubbed faster circles around her clit and paused periodically to dip her fingers in her slippery cunt. Just like he had done to her that first night. Does she do this to herself every time… because of me? His whole body tensed at the thought.

Her face was now flush against the mattress, her ass high in the air as she got lost in the moment. 

“Ben-Daddy I’m so close. Please can I come? Please?” she begged, knowing she may not be able to stop herself. 

The heady mix of being at his mercy and the rush of being on display for him in this way was a potent combination.

“Not yet. Stop it right now,” he barked.

She wailed with frustration. Almost instantly, she heard a rattle at the doorknob, and the bedroom door flew open, crashing into the wall perpendicular to it.

A lightning bolt of arousal and fear ripped through her. She felt hunted, and she liked it.

He had that look: eyes hooded with lust, feral. His erection strained against the soft waistband of his loose track pants as if he had hastily pulled them back up. Her mouth watered, torn between wanting to taste him and wanting him to take her then and there.

He closed the space between them in one stride and clambered onto the bed. Prowling like a hungry animal from behind, he swept her back against his chest, pinning her with his strong right arm. He circled her throat with his left and drew her in for a kiss. Their tongues melded in a sensual dance, and it felt like they might consume each other. They melted into each other until there was no space between them, and they were one.

He released her midsection, reaching down to her sex roughly with his broad palm.

“This is mine,” he snarled.

His left hand stayed firmly grasping her throat. Never hard enough to take her breath away—not in the literal sense, anyway. He held her just like that first night, wanting to recreate it for both of them.

A whimper scarcely escaped her lips before his two large fingers were plunging inside her, curling in a come hither motion, pumping in and out as if he could take whatever he wanted. 

Rey closed her eyes and fell limp against him, letting the tide pull her in, letting him take control and keep her afloat. His thumb found her clit as he pushed his fingers in as far as they would go, giving her a taste of what was coming. 

“Unghhh” was all she could manage until three giant fingers were swirling around her clit and alternately swiping through her folds to dip back and forth, just like she had shown him on camera. She was lost. 

She felt intense pleasure ratcheting up like steps on a staircase, raising her up higher and higher. She felt close to combusting and whimpered a breathy “Please.” 

He loosened his grip so she could turn into the crook of his neck to lick and suck the tender skin. She mustered the strength to suck on his earlobe, knowing it would unravel him. 

“Come for me, baby,” he growled. “Come for me now. This pussy is mine, this mouth is mine, and you are mine. Come so I can fill that pussy with my cock, baby.” 

His words were her undoing: the wave crashed, and she bucked against his fingers, her head dropping as she bent forward face-first into the mattress. He drove his fingers all the way in, wanting to feel her walls spasm around them. He couldn’t wait to feel it again on his cock. He gave her clit one more firm massage, helping her ride out the lingering pulses of her orgasm.

“Fuck baby, your pussy feels so good.”

She was limp and moaning into the sheets, coming down from her high. He released her from his grasp, and she rested prostrate on the mattress—euphoric and unable to form words. 

“I’m not done with you yet,” he snarled, shifting towards the foot of the bed. Her eyes snapped open wide as he roughly parted her thighs and licked a hot stripe up her center from behind. She yelped with surprise.

“Babe, oh my fucking God,that is too much.”

She tried to squirm her legs, but he held her thighs firm against the bed with his strong hands.

“What did you call me?”

“Sorry. Daddy. Please, it’s too much.”

He playfully slapped her ass. 

“Stay still.” 

He flipped her onto her back and lapped up her juices, sucking deeply on her clit before swirling his tongue over it. She saw stars. She couldn’t possibly come again. He dipped his tongue deep inside, causing her to squeeze his head between her thighs.

“Please fuck me, Daddy, I need it so bad.”

“Oh, I will, kitten. But I’m not letting you come again unless it’s on my cock.”

He raised himself up to reach up and pull the flimsy lace cups of her bra down, exposing her pebbled nipples. His eyes darkened as he leaned forward to take a nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue and sucking simultaneously. She gasped at the shock of his focused attention.

“This is nice. Daddy is pleased,” he breathed. He gave several more licks to the bottom of each breast, relishing the softness before taking each nipple in his mouth again, sending shockwaves to her core.

She moaned, aching for him to take her. 

“Daddy, please, I need you to…”

“That’s right, baby. Beg me for it. Tell me how much you want this cock.”

“I want to feel your cock. I want it so bad,” she whined. “Fuck me, Daddy, please.”

“Oh, not yet, kitten. First, I’m going to take what I want. I haven’t forgotten that you left me out not once but twice. Who knows how many other times? Such a greedy little kitten.”

With that, he swept himself up over her body, leaning forward as he straddled her rib cage with his massive, strong thighs. He pulled his t-shirt over his head, revealing his strong chest: her favorite part of his body (or one of them, at least). Before she could run her hands over his pecs, he propped himself with one hand on the headboard and freed his achingly hard cock from his pants. 

“Open.”

With her eyes locked on his, she parted her lips, letting her tongue slide out as he pressed his cock into her mouth. He groaned as he slid his length down, bottoming out in the back of her throat. She gagged as tears abruptly formed in the corners of her eyes, and he pulled out swiftly. He was shocked at himself for taking it so far but was mostly thrilled at her reaction. 

She licked her lips and swallowed to soothe her throat. “More,” she said. “Please.”

“Fuck,” he hissed as he slid his cock past her lips once more. She lapped at the head, sucking gently. He pressed into the roof of her mouth to avoid choking her, but she drew him in more deeply, reaching to fist his base and increase the pressure. She looked so sexy laying beneath him as he fucked into her mouth, never breaking eye contact with him.

“Who knew my wife was such a greedy little slut?” He smirked. 

She creased her brow at the insult. 

“What’s the matter, can't talk with my cock down your throat?”

He pressed down as she smiled, causing her to gag slightly. She laughed, the vibrations sending sparks up his spine. As he pulled out she licked greedily and flicked her tongue on the sensitive underside of his head. 

“Ungh… I could just come in your mouth right now, baby.” 

It was true. This was light years away from their sad vanilla routine, and he was surprised he had lasted this long. Maybe his daily jerkoff session wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

He pulled out again and lowered himself down over her body. She braced her hands on his chest, and they both looked down to where his cock strained against her mound. They locked eyes, both drunk with lust and want. With one stroke, he parted her slick entrance and thrust himself deep inside. She wailed and dug her fingers into his shoulders.

“So wet, so tight for me, baby.” 

He dipped down to her neck, leaving a wet trail from her clavicle to her ear, and sucked hard on the side of her neck.

“Oh, Daddy, don’t stop, fuck me, please,” she mewled.

He savored the feeling of her sheathed around him. She belonged to him. She was home. She was also about to get thoroughly fucked.

“Tell me how badly you want it.”

He withdrew almost all the way, slowly and tortuously, as she let out a high-pitched whine and immediately slammed back into her. 

“Use your words,” he commanded.

“I want it so bad. Fuck me, please, harder, harder.”

He then picked up speed, thrusting into her pussy with abandon. All that could be heard was his heated breaths, her ecstatic moans, and the sinful wet slap of flesh on flesh. This was too good. They both had the same thought simultaneously.

Why don’t we do this every day?  

“Baby, this is so good,” she praised.” I want this every day. I want you to fuck me every day. I love this, I love you.”

“I love you too, baby– fuck,” he groaned, barely able to catch his breath. He abruptly pulled out, much to her dismay, only to roughly flip her over and bring her up onto her knees a moment later. 

He pulled her back against his chest, draping her arms back to wrap both of them behind his head. He braced one hand on her sternum and grabbed his cock with the other. She tilted her ass back to meet him as he drove back inside her. There was no more teasing. 

He used his free hand to knead her breast and gave her nipple a slow, torturous squeeze. He picked up his pace and slammed up into her, keeping her steady with one hand splayed over her chest, lifting the other to grasp around her neck. 

She wailed as he rammed into her, feeling so taken, so overwhelmed, and so completely consumed. He rested his forehead against the back of her neck as he strained towards his climax. One hand was still around her neck, and the other drifted toward her clit to finish what he started when he had fucked her with his tongue. 

She was adrift. There was nothing but him and his hands and his giant cock slamming into her. She rode him, feeling a thrill at his hand on her neck, not quite choking but absolutely possessing her. Holding her still so there was no escape from the relentless pounding. She could barely breathe as he circled her clit one last time, bringing her to an orgasm that rocked her whole body swiftly and brutally. 

He was not far behind her, releasing her neck and scrambling for purchase on her hips. She had no choice but to drop her face to the mattress, no longer able to hold herself up as the aftershocks cascaded through her core.

He slapped her ass and slammed in and out until he could no longer hold on. His release thundered through him, and he came forcefully inside her, folding forward to scoop his arm around her waist. He kissed up her back, trailing up her neck to nestle his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent as he peppered the side of her face with kisses. 

She was completely done for, blissed out, and content with the reassuring weight of him draped over her. His sweet kisses almost made her purr with joy as he finally settled on his side, pulling her in to spoon him and nuzzle her hair.

“Fuck, babe. That was so damn good.” He began.

“I don’t even know my own name. Wow,” She responded.

Rey marveled at what just happened. He wasn’t tired of her, not even close. 

Ben felt so wanted and so secure. He couldn’t wait to go again.

Instead, they both drifted off to a peaceful sleep, sated and safe in each other’s arms.

Chapter Text

Ben waited in the quiet, darkened bedroom. 

Why am I so nervous?   

The bed was cleared of everything but the top sheet and a few pillows against the headboard. The camera was in position, and he took in the view of himself in the mirror. 

“Take them off,” barked his wife’s voice through the camera.

He jolted and stood up quickly, not yet sure if he wanted to incur whatever Rey might consider as a punishment for his disobedience.

After their “reawakening” a few weeks ago, they had made a pact: they would never again go back to the sad state they had been in for far, far too much time. Getting to play Daddy again reinvigorated him. He kicked himself for ever letting that part of himself go. 

It wasn’t just about what it did for her, namely drive her wild, but what it did for him. Taking care of his wife, making her happy, and keeping her satisfied. It was the great honor of his life to be her absolute everything. 

They talked for a long time about where they had been, where they were now, and who they wanted to be going forward. Happily Ever After wasn’t just a single event or any one moment they had together. It was a series of choices they made every single day, even when it was really hard. They needed to talk more. She promised not to keep her needs a secret, and they swore to never put their sex life last again.

He had never loved her more. Sitting here shirtless in his black boxer briefs, however, he was starting to have second thoughts. 

“Good boy. Come on, don’t be shy.”

He hooked his thumbs in his waistband and complied, drawing his briefs down to his ankles before slipping them off.

“Mmm, yes. Mommy likes. Now turn around for me.”

“Okay, I’m gonna draw a hard line at the “Mommy” thing—just doesn’t do it for me,” he grumbled. 

“Be quiet, I was just joking. Now spin in a circle, you sexy little slut!”

Ben laughed and did as he was told. He didn’t know how long Rey would be able to keep this up or if he would be able to keep his hard-on while she giggled incessantly through the speaker. 

Her voice darkened. “Very, very nice. Now, lay back against the headboard. Put the pillows back up. I want to see that sexy chest of yours on display.”

Ben bent over to fluff the pillows, being careful to angle his ass away from the lens. It was super sexy when she bent over for him, but not much of a view he wanted Rey to get a load of any time soon.

He positioned a few pillows against the headboard and laid back with a sigh, awaiting his next instruction.

“Okay. I’m ready, baby. Tell me what you want.”

And they lived happily ever after.