Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The Back Alley Market was packed as usual, despite the warm weather. She was beginning to regret having agreed to do the pickup for him last minute. She’d gotten used to the eyes, an herbivore in a meat market caused a stir. As long as she kept to herself and was in and out, this would be done and she could be home in time, as planned.

“Yukine! Always the timely customer!” The large panther woman purred at her, with a big smile.

At times Yukine wasn’t sure if it was because she knew her visits meant a big purchase, or because of being an herbivore, but she’d decided long ago those were questions she didn’t want to ask.

“Of course, Bagheera-san, I’d hate to keep you waiting,” Yukine responded in kind as she handed the woman the thick envelope of money.

Yukine by no means was one to try meat, not that her body could handle it if she did. But she’d picked up an ‘interesting hobby’ of doing runs for a neighbor of hers once a month, sometimes twice a month if he was having any business dinners. At first, it’d been helping out a friend who was sick and needed the pickup just a one-time thing, but Yukine had pointed out that for bigger orders, it wouldn’t hurt to send her. No one would question an herbivore, and if they did, playing dumb was always the best course of action to avoid trouble. Plus, occasionally she’d get to see someone who’d caught her eye the first time she’d come. It was a silly crush she’d never do much about, but looking never hurt, not yet at least.

“You’ve been a customer long enough, please, just Bagheera is fine.”

The cooler was a little heavy, but Yukine would manage, she told herself. Then came a big bag that would be a little more unbalanced.

“Riku added a little extra this time around, said it was a surprise business dinner.”

Yukine could only laugh and nod.

“He probably just forgot to check his calendar. Thanks, as usual for your help Bagheera.”

As she went to turn, Yukine got shoulder checked and hit the dirt, ankle-twisting, and the cooler luckily tightly shut hitting her in the gut. Tears sprung to her eyes as she gasped for air, pushing herself up off the cooler.

“Hey watch where you’re- going?” The hesitation in the deep voice made her head cock up to see a large panda staring down at her, halted in his own steps.

“What in the world is a sheep doing in here buying meat?”

Yukine felt shame and anger at the same time but was struggling to find her voice as the object of her affections crouched down in front of her, furrowing his fuzzy brow. Her brain seemed to be frying as Bagheera came around to help her up and defend her.

“She’s a regular courier for a regular of mine Gouhin-sama, she’s not hurting anyone. Although you might have hurt her.” The panther huffed as she helped Yukine to her feet.

Yukine went to put pressure on one of her ankles and winced, her leg buckling as Bagheera quickly caught her.

The large panda, Gouhin was suddenly a little sheepish.

“Shit. I’ll take care of her. It was my fault.”

Suddenly Yukine felt her voice was back, feeling like she was being treated like a small child.

“It was, while I’m sure you are… very busy, that was still very rude of you!”

Shit, that’s not what she wanted to say. She didn’t have time to have a twisted ankle. Her phone buzzing in her pocket reminded her of that, but she wasn’t going to get far on her own, and she felt a lot of eyes on her, meaning a spectacle was definitely happening. Yukine felt her stomach getting queasy and her body burning with shame as she looked around at the people now staring at her even more intently.

“You’re right… I… can deal with my business later.” Gouhin glanced over his shoulder as he leaned down to pick up the bag and cooler with the cooler going under his arm and the bag in hand. He used his free hand to offer to the sheep and held eye contact. “I’m sorry for running into you. I will say heels aren’t a good choice on a dirt road though.”

Yukine let out an awkward laugh. She knew this. She’d been told by Riku her first time coming to wear flats in case she had to run because the ground was uneven. He’d made such a big deal at the last minute about her getting this order tonight though, she’d rushed straight from work without stopping at home. She slid the heel back onto her foot and used her other hand to take his free one so she could slowly lean against him for support. His shirt may’ve given an idea of his musculature with how it fit, but she felt even more taut muscles underneath.

“Th-thanks…” She muttered, trying to be cautious of her short horns. For all this, she was thankful her bag hadn’t fallen open at least. What was self-defense to her may have been seen as a challenge by anyone here if she wasn’t careful.

Gouhin gave a grunt in response as they began to walk away, Yukine glancing over his arm to see Bagheera giving her a small nod as if to say she would be fine. Maybe Bagheera could be trusted, even if she ran a stall here. It wasn’t like she was a bad person and slaughtered herbivores to sell. And she’d always been nothing but nice to Yukine.

“So, uh, what’s your name?”

This small talk was almost as painful as standing in front of an audience.

“Yukine.”

“Isn’t that a boy’s name?”

The sheep huffed, wishing she had a witty response at the moment but was mainly just trying to keep her brain together to answer. She could tell he’d slowed down his pace to keep up with her.

“My parents were sure they were going to have a boy when my mom was pregnant with me, and they did, three years later. I’m the only girl they had between three kids. My friends call me Yuki, mostly because I asked them to since that’s what my family calls me.” That was more information than he’d asked for. If she could’ve gotten any whiter, she was sure she would have.

“So… Yuki-san?”

Yukine felt warm at hearing him call her that.

“I didn’t know you wanted to be friends.” She could rip out her own tongue and it wouldn’t make up for the ass she was making of herself.

He gave a small chuckle, which made her relax a bit. She always had a penchant for mouthing off when she couldn’t think straight, and it was coming in clutch.

“Well, I like to make my patients as comfortable as possible, so I’ll just stick to Yukine-san then. My place isn’t much, but it’s clean, and away from prying eyes. You clearly need the latter from the look on your face earlier. I am sorry, I don’t see too many herbivores buying meet, much less of their own volition. The occasional teenager on a dare or trying to prove something, but you’re clearly an adult. Not that you look old, but not what I usually see here.”

She could feel his chest rumbling as he spoke, and what should’ve probably scared her, ended up soothing her more than anything. Yukine could be led to her death by this man, and she was taking it strangely in stride.

“I should clarify, I’m not going to eat you. I should have said something earlier. I’m the Back Alley Market doctor and psychiatrist. I’m usually treating or dealing with carnivores. Or myself… that was a joke.”

Yukine looked up in surprise suddenly and let out a sound of surprise when his arm almost dropped her.

“Yowch! Those horns are no joke, huh? Sorry kid.” Gouhin chuckled, shifting his arm to avoid the horns.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m usually more aware of them. And don’t call me kid, please.” Finally, something nice. There was a chance she could save this encounter. Dating sims were so much easier than real-life interactions.

The two were mostly silent the rest of the way as they went into, what she could only think to describe as the back alley of a back-alley market, which somehow looked even more murder-y and dark. He led her towards a building and indicated the doorknob. Oh, that was right, she’d kind of taken up both his hands. Yukine reached out and opened the door as he used his big frame to push through, so she wouldn’t have to put pressure on the twisted ankle.

“I can take the bag if it would make things any easier. Really, I’m used to carrying this stuff.”

The panda glanced down at her and gave a small grunt.

“It’s fine. We’re almost there.”

He hadn’t been kidding, it was only a few more moments and they were at his apartment. Yukine carefully leaned against the wall as he opened the door and held up her hands when he held a hand back out. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate the help, but her body was getting much too warm for an early summer night.

“I can hobble this far, Gouhin-sama.” She said his name and felt the thrum of heat at it. She definitely had some problems if she got this excited at just saying his name. It wasn’t like she’d never been in a relationship before. She was a grown woman with a degree and a very cushy job, and she was going to act like it, at least in front of him.

Yukine used the wall for support and blinked for a moment at the room in front of her. He hadn’t been kidding when he said it wasn’t much, she’d just assumed he was being humble. It was very simple and looked like a man’s bachelor pad if he’d just moved out of his parent’s house. The mental image made her struggle not to laugh out loud. Gouhin was clearly her senior by a good few years.

“You can sit on the bed and I’ll go grab some bandages and cream for when I take a look at your ankle… would you also like an ice pack for your… abdomen?”

Yukine glanced up to see him studying her as she plopped on the bed. She unbuttoned her blazer, happy to be able to relax a bit. Early summer still brought a good bit of heat, especially for an herbivore with as thick of a coat as sheep have.

“Ah, sure.” This was never how she’d thought interactions would him would go, much less back in his apartment and on his bed! No, she needed to calm down, he was a doctor and trying to do the right thing.

Yukine went to slide her heels off and frowned at the torn tights. It wasn’t like she was hard up for money, but she did hate having torn clothing. Well, unless they were being torn by someone-

The sheep felt a burning her cheeks as she stopped that train of thought before it could get any further. This was neither the time nor place. As Gouhin left the immediate area, she used this as a chance to tug the tights from under her skirt and pull them off to get a look at her ankle for herself. It was a little scuffed with a few beads of blood coming from some very small scratches but had already started swelling and had some blue forming where there would be a bruise. No heels for a bit, not comfortably at least. She pulled out her phone from her blazer pocket and sighed. Great, she was going to be late.

From: Aki

Hey, are you going to make it for the raid? Haven’t heard from you.

Yukine had gotten hard into online gaming back in college, finding it a nice way to get her mind off of the stress of everyday life. She was even good at it, to the point of being second-in-command in her guild. But she’d never told anyone, much less her guild master that she, an herbivore, would occasionally go to the illegal public secret that was the Back Alley Market for her carnivore neighbor from time to time.

To: Aki

Sorry babe, not tonight. Looking like some serious overtime for this draft. The business wants it by the weekend. Maybe tomorrow night? :3

She felt guilty lying, in fact, she could usually just be a bit late, but luck apparently wasn’t on her side tonight.

From: Aki

Awww, ok. Gonna miss my best tank! Let me know when you’re home! <3

Yukine groaned as she slid her phone into her bag. Aki had gone form an online friend to a real-life friend who would meet up with her a few times a year. They were pretty close, but Aki was a zebra who’d nearly died at the hands of a carnivore. It wasn’t that she hated all carnivores, but it had made her very wary since then, and Yukine knew she would protest what the sheep did and was currently doing.

“It looks like I have some antiseptic and a light numbing cream to help take some of that soreness away, but I’d say you should stay off it if you can as much as possible. I’m out of ice, but you can use a beer, it’s been in the fridge long enough.” Gouhin came back, with his hands full of a myriad of things.

He seemed to juggle for a moment what to do first before getting down and sitting on the floor, holding out the cold beer can to her. Even sitting on the floor, he was so much larger than she was… and she was wearing a skirt. Her foot instinctively went out and he caught it, before realizing which one he’d grabbed. Yukine yowled, using the other foot on reflex to kick him from the side and he still caught that one as he let her injured ankle go, looking down at her and realizing why she’d reacted the way she had. He gave a cough and muttered apology, his head nodding towards the head of the bed where a pillow sat neatly. She bent over to pick it up, tugging her foot out of his grasp. Despite his reflexes, she noticed he hadn’t held on too tightly as if adjusting for her stature.

Yukine placed the pillow across her lap to push her skirt down and took the beer can, pushing it against her stomach and giving a small hiss in pain as it touched what would also be a sizable bruise in the morning. The coolness of the can would probably feel nice once she adjusted.

“If you have on a shirt under that, I’m sure it would help more if you took off your, er, blouse.”

He talked as he immediately went to work, examining her ankle. Yukine wasn’t sure if she liked that or not, but he was a doctor. Even with the rising heat, she had thought to wear a white tank top underneath her shirt in case of rain and now was very thankful for that choice. Her fingers worked at each button with a small fidget that she hoped Gouhin wouldn’t notice.

“If you’re scared of carnivores, why are you back here, buying meat enough to be a regular?”

Yukine balked for a second before remembering this man was a psychiatrist and probably spent most of his time analyzing the people around him as much as any practitioner. She was happy in this moment to have a legitimate prepped.

“I’m not scared, maybe a little shaken at most.” Lie. “I’m used to the looks, but wounded herbivore probably evoked some different stares.” Probably true. “And besides, it’s to help a friend. He has business dinners sometimes, and no one questions herbivores as much.” Mostly true.

Gouhin gave a snort.

“You’re friends with a carnivore who eats meat, and you buy the meat for him?”

The sheep felt her jaw clench and a different kind of heat swell inside her as she puffed out her chest.

“So what? I’m not hurting anyone! I’d be a fool to think that the Back Alley Market is some nightmare place only in stories to scare herbivores!”

Gouhin paused his ministrations to look up at her.

“I’m not calling you dumb. But it does seem foolish for a young healthy herbivore to hand-deliver herself on a platter, either to someone pretending to be her friend or to a place that’s very dangerous for her. Either you have a death wish or a very unhealthy fetish.”

Yukine felt all the fervor rush out of her as fast as it had come in. The very grown man she’d been carrying a torch for was sitting her and telling her that she had a weird fetish. This was not how she thought her evening would go in the least.

“There are services your ‘friend’ can employ if he needs the meat delivered to him for whatever reason. And if you are as well informed as you say, you know that. From the quality of your clothes, you don’t hurt for money. So, I’d assume he doesn’t either. Is this some sort of fetish game and roleplay for you both?”

Her stomach had hurt before, but now she was seeing red and feeling her eyes prickle and threatening to tear up. Her little hands gripped the pillow as she lifted and before Gouhin could react, she started hitting him over the head with it as he’d been too focused on her ankle, and right now Yukine was too angry to feel the pain in her ankle.

“I’M! NOT! SLEEPING! WITH! HIM!” She yelled in between each hit. It may not hurt him, but it made her feel better.

“YOU FUCKING QUACK! I’M NOT A PATIENT! I DON’T HAVE A DEATH WISH! AND I MOST CERTAINLY DON’T GET OFF ON SERVING OTHER HERBIVORES TOO CARNIVORES! MUCH LESS THE IDEA OF ME BEING EATEN!”

Gouhin finally reached up and stopped her, pushing the pillow back into Yukine’s lap as she panted, gasping for air. As the anger subsided, she realized how much it hurt to try and breathe in large amounts of air into her lungs. He stared at her while she wished she had the energy to punch him.

“My apologies Yukine-san. I made an assumption and clearly hurt your feelings. I was just trying to warn you and make you realize the danger you put yourself in. I’m sorry.”

They sat in silence after that, Gouhin clearly avoiding setting off any land mines and Yukine registering his apology and processing that she’d just yelled at a much larger than her carnivore that she’d had not so pure thoughts about and had put on a bit of a pedestal without knowing much about him. He took his time administering the ointment to make sure he got every little scratch and began bandaging it. The sheep debated on what to say as she realized her blow-up made it hard to form conversation.

Maybe she’d overreacted, and maybe some of that anger was at him for other reasons that he had no way of realizing. She sighed and pushed the cool beer can against her stomach again with one hand while the other held the pillow down on her lap.

“The first time, it was almost Rexmas and he’d come down with a really bad cold. He had placed an order to pick up earlier in the week and by the time the day came he realized he couldn’t do it and Bagheera already had the order ready. I was checking on him to offer some soup because I’d noticed he hadn’t been getting his mail in the last few days. And even his editor would usually pick it up if he’s not leaving his apartment.

“Anyway, he decided to ask me on a whim because everyone else was busy or out of town that he could think of to help him, and most courier services for that were tied up with deliveries, so they weren’t doing last-minute pick-ups. He offered to pay for it in full and a little extra because of the nature of the request and me being, well an herbivore. I had never been and for some reason agreed. It was crazy, we both knew it was a terrible favor to ask. But I did it, I got so many looks that I was so sure I’d never want to do it again, never even talk about it. A few months passed of us not bringing it up, and then one night when we were drinking, he asked me about it. I told him everything. How I got sick before I got there and after I left, and even when I got back home to my apartment.

“But, how I also kind of felt almost in control the whole time despite the fear and anxiety. How it was so different from my experience with carnivores in everyday life. I was scared of running into carnivore co-workers, I still have that fear sometimes, and come dressed down and hiding myself most times. Bagheera was so nice once she got over the initial shock and even complimented me on my bravery, she called me foolish too, but, no one had ever called me brave and I actually agreed or believed it.” Yukine stopped talking when she realized Gouhin had stopped bandaging her ankle.

He’d finished, but his expression was unreadable. It was somewhere between confused and concerned if she had to guess.

“I usually wouldn’t care, but I figure I’ll be polite. You mind if I put on some tea and light up a cigarette?”

She hadn’t actually expected him to let her finish. She hadn’t even realized how much she’d started sharing until the words were out of her mouth, and even if she was omitting the part where she saw him and was instantly attracted, it felt good to talk to someone about it all, and how weird it was.

“Y-yeah, sure. It’s your place. My dad smoked too, it’s no big deal.” She winced as the words came out of her mouth. Yukine really didn’t want to compare a man she was interested in as a woman to her own father.

As Gouhin wandered to his small kitchen area to put on a pot of water to heat up she noticed the large windows on the other side of the apartment. They must look down on the market from here. Even in his own space, he was vigilant.

“Sorry, you can continue if you’d like, I’m still listening.” His tone was gentler and more soothing, despite the low rumble underneath it all.

‘He must be one hell of a psychiatrist after all.’ Yukine thought to herself as she tucked her legs underneath herself, pulling her tail out from behind her with a free hand as the pillow just laid on her lap at this point.

“Well, uh, I guess I just kind of decided I wanted to feel brave. It’s really dumb saying it out loud, but I did. And it started to get a little easier, especially the more I got to know Bagheera. I… got a gun in case I’m in a tight situation. It wasn’t easy, but I talked to the right people and it happened. I don’t know if I’d say I trust my neighbor or Bagheera fully. More than most carnivores I don’t know or know too well. And I’ve never slept with a carni- that’s not relevant.” The sheep cut herself off and corrected, feeling her face burn in embarrassment at that slipping out.

She looked up and was thankful not to be getting another calculating look from Gouhin as he was lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag. If she smoked, she was pretty sure she’d need one by the time she got home.

“If you don’t mind my asking, what exactly do you do for a living, Yukine-san?”

That was a fair question.

“I’m one of the top architects for Inko & Co. Design. It’s a pretty inter-species work environment. But, they’re pretty fair about assignments. I’m at a point where companies can request my work personally. Not what I grew up wanting to do, but I like it.”

Gouhin handed her a cup of tea and she took a small sip, frowning a bit at the bitter taste. Bamboo. She shouldn’t have been surprised, but it would be impolite otherwise. He took a seat at the table in front of the bed. Yukine decided to carefully scooch forward and just let her legs dangle. The man was over a foot taller than her and somehow, she was still surprised.

“What did you want to do?”

The question surprised her, and she looked up from the tea to him to see his face looking directly at her. She cocked her head to the side and gave a little laugh.

“I just wanted to be a painter. I was really good at it. But I had a feeling murals and canvases wouldn’t always guarantee food on the table, especially after turning down the chance to be a Beastar. But- “

“Hold on, you were going to be a Beastar?”

Yukine blinked for a moment, having to look at Gouhin. It was safe to say she wasn’t the same person as in high school, especially since becoming more comfortable to be herself, but to most, the Beastar was a big deal. She swung her feet back and forth, staring back down at the tea and forcing herself to take another sip, her throat was getting a bit dry.

“Well, it was very vaguely discussed, but I turned it down after talking in front of an audience once and immediately getting sick. I have horrible stage fright and peer anxiety. I can barely handle running meetings without getting nauseous.” Yukine gave a little embarrassed laugh.

“As I said, I was really good at art. In school, I played peacekeeper in my club and could get most people to work together and teachers took notice. They started asking if I would like to do bigger projects for the community, I thought at first it was because of my artistic ability, but oh well. I disappointed a few people, I never would’ve been the Sublime Beastar, but I couldn’t handle the attention and responsibility of being any kind of Beastar. I once did a mural at a hospital though for its patients that couldn’t go outside whenever. So, I painted an-“

“-inside garden.” Gouhin finished the sentence, looking at her with realization.

Yukine froze in fear. She thought she’d been vague enough. It had been over six years, she’d held out that he didn’t remember her, so hopefully, he wouldn’t remember her project at the hospital they’d met at all those years ago during a senior project of hers.

“I remember you now. I apologize, I thought you’d seemed a little familiar earlier, but we’ve met before. The hospital wanted something nice for its patients but when the school found out what kind of patients were on that ward, a lot of the students quit the project. You’ve changed some over the years, as have I but, yeah. You saw the project through on your weekends.”

Gouhin looked truly shocked that he hadn’t figured it out sooner.

“I should head out soon, it’s late and my neighbor- “

“How did you go from those murals to architecture?”

The sheep grimaced the hundred-dollar question. She’d never tell anyone, much less Gouhin, but that project had taken so much out of her and alienated her among the herbivores in her class. There was a point she’d almost quit the mural project, but then she met Gouhin. He was a doctor on the ward for carnivores who’d committed predation. He brought her coffee and had told her how her hard work had really lifted up the spirits of some of the staff and even the patients. He’d called her selfless and brave. And told her that her work had been some of the most beautiful he’d seen, he almost felt bad she was doing it for free. Yukine fell hard for him, despite knowing he was married and just kept it to herself. Those nightly conversations made the frustration and isolation worth every moment. The mural was her best work to date because she wanted to convey her love in some way for him to see even if he didn’t know it. And now here he sat.

She’d assumed something was strange the first time she saw him all these years later in the Back Alley Market. But it brought back a warm fuzzy feeling she hadn’t felt in a long time. Even if she didn’t talk to him, just a chance at a glimpse had been enough to make her be brave and foolish.

“Yukine-san? Did I hit a nerve again?”

She blinked before turning to look at the windows and sigh.

“No, not really,” she lied, “I guess I just didn’t want that attention anymore if I did make it as a painter. I still occasionally paint here and there, but my eye for detail made architecture an easy choice. It’s pretty good money and steady work, without needing attention. Modern architecture and their artists are only craved but enthusiasts and companies. My name isn’t important or in big letters. I can create and be left alone. I’m not flashy or overly charming. I’m an otaku who hates attention. Gross, right?”

Yukine turned to Gouhin to see him staring at her quizzically, and she suddenly felt a little exposed and wished she hadn’t taken her button-down off.

“…O-ta-ku?”

Crap. Her biggest secret. It was one thing for kids and teenagers, but adults who hadn’t grown out of that phase? She’d let slip something not even her neighbor knew about her. All the carefully crafted excuses and cover-ups for years so her parents and neighbors didn’t know what some of her vacations were. Out the window, in front of an eight-year crush, with no way to cover it up.

“Forgive my ignorance, could you maybe refresh an old man’s memory?”

This was her out, no, he had internet access. But still, she could slip out and never see him again. No, she didn’t want that. Yukine felt the internal conflict churning her insides and so her brain did the only thing it could, when reason is gone, over-explain.

“Oh, you know, manga, anime, figurines, video games of all kinds. Just over-blown special interests.”

“Uh-huh.”

Yukine could die at this moment and it wouldn’t be soon enough for her.

“Yukine-san, there’s no need to be embarrassed. Special interests are healthy, it’s good for you in fact! But… I have to ask, when you say over-blown, as in does it affect your ability to have a relationship?”

This was it, any chance she’d thought she had with the man was gone. She almost wished she could be eaten by a carnivore at this point.

“I’m perfectly capable and have engaged in relationships of a sexual and romantic nature with others if that’s what you’re asking. I also have normal friends. I have a healthy and normal sexual appetite that extends beyond 2-D, Gouhin-sama.” She felt robotic in her responses, but there didn’t seem much better way at this point to go about the situation. Yukine felt the deep hole under her and was doing what she could to not make it deeper.

“Please, just Gouhin is fine. You’re clearly uncomfortable talking about this, I’m sorry. I guess the psychiatrist in me came out. Were you always an… otaku? Or did this happen in college?”

Yukine put the cup to her lips and gulped down the rest of her tea to give her some time to avoid answering the question.

“When we initially met, I was an otaku, I just usually hide it because it’s kind of a weird hobby to most people. And I guess, you can call me Yuki at this point. We’re kind of there.”

The beer in her lap was warm at this point and she was debating on chugging it at this point to lessen her embarrassment. But if she was going to go home tonight, no, when she went home tonight, she would prefer to have all her faculties. Yukine jumped a bit when Gouhin started laughing, making her finally look at him. She remembered some chuckles here and there but couldn’t remember if she’d heard him laugh like this. It was a little worrying because she wasn’t sure if he was laughing at her or something else.

“Sorry, I’m not laughing at you, I promise, it’s just you just being so formal about something rather casual and normal, it’s a refreshing and amusing thing.”

His jovial tone warmed her right back up as Yukine coughed.

“Ah, it’s getting rather late. I think I should head out.”

Gouhin sobered himself a bit and gave a small nod.

“I take it you’ll be back though.”

Yukine nodded as she pulled her button-down back on and began to tug it close before a large hand stopped her.

“Not to be forward, but can I check your abdomen for any serious injury?”

She sucked in a breath, holding eye contact with him for a long moment.

“Doctor… right.” She muttered and moved her hands aside. His hands were so much larger than hers.

Yukine was one of the larger herbivores and yet he dwarfed her so easily, but instead of scaring her she still found that arousing more than anything. His hand that had stopped hers slowly pulled up the bottom of her tank top to right below her bra and he used his free hand to gently prod and feel around.

“Tell me if something hurts.”

She gave a small nod, wincing as he touched where the cooler had slammed into muscle. As he traced towards her ribs on the right, she gave a hiss, pulling away. It hadn’t hurt that bad on the other side. He may not be the most talkative but at least his face was easy to read. Or maybe because it was so close.

“Hmm, maybe a hairline fracture. Not much can be done, probably your full weight hit the right side a little harder when you fell. I’d just be careful for a while and it should be fine. Judging from your heart rate, I’m guessing you don’t get seriously injured often.”

Yukine was glad he assumed that was the reason her heart was racing like a jackrabbit, because she could hear it as clear as day in her own ears. His hands were warm and so gentle with her despite their size and the sharpness of his nails, she almost wanted to feel some of their ferocity. But he’d been married when they’d first met, and she didn’t want to ask now why he didn’t wear a ring and lived in a one-person apartment.

“Thanks… Gouhin.” She managed to get out as she buttoned her shirt, refusing to look up at him by this point so that her face wouldn’t betray her.

“If it isn’t too much trouble, I’d like to exchange numbers. On nights you come to the alley, I’d like to know. It’s dangerous.”

She wanted to yell at him that she wasn’t defenseless and didn’t need an escort. But it was dangerous. It took him accidentally bumping into her for a small fracture and a twisted ankle, much less if someone were trying to hurt her. Plus, Gouhin’s phone number, that she could text or call whenever. That she shouldn’t misuse if she were going to keep her horribly kept secret of a crush a secret from him. But it would give her more than a chance to just see a passing glance of him in a crowd. Yukine pulled out her phone and handed it to him. He took it from her hand and tacked away for a moment or two before handing it back. She had his number now. If her heart were to burst at this moment, she’d die happy. It felt dumb that it was enough, but at the moment, it was something, more than she’d ever hoped for or expected.

To: Gouhin

This is Yukine, the artist.

“There, now you have my number too.” She struggled to keep a dumb smile from spreading on her face and kept it to a little one.

“Good, I can get busy, but if you need to talk, I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

Always the professional.

Yukine rolled her eyes and gave a small nod, sending a text to her driver that Riku always sent her out with, who’d apparently sent her a few frantic texts.

From: Gris

Hey, you about done?

Is everything ok?

Do I need to come look for you?

I’m calling off you doing pickups for Riku.

Yukine blanched at the messages and quickly typed out a message.

To: Gris

Fine, twisted ankle and had to nurse it a bit. On way out now. Sorry for worrying you! Found the doctor here by accident? ^w^

Gris had become like a big brother for Yukine since they’d started the arrangement. His parents had adopted an herbivore whose parents had been his neighbors, so he’d taken to her much in the same way.

“I guess help me get to my pick-up spot with my driver. I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you tonight.”

Gouhin picked up the cooler as Yukine collected her things, giving a dismissive wave.

“I hurt you, and I don’t know by what means, but it would seem best that it was me that ran into you.”

Part of the sheep agreed with him as she slowly stood, testing out her ankle. As long as it wasn’t too much pressure, she could walk slowly, but these heels weren’t doing her any favors. Before she could respond, Gouhin came behind and scooped an arm behind the backs of her legs, basically carrying her against his shoulder.

Yukine gave a small sound of rebuttal, her arms quickly wrapping around his neck so she wouldn’t fall.

“I did say I wanted you off your ankle as much as possible. And this will be faster, for you.”

She couldn’t argue with that, and it was better than possibly nailing him with one of her horns again. He slowly and carefully handed her the bag of meat that somehow was keeping cool, Bagheera must have used cool packs to keep it preserved. The thought made her a little queasy as she imagined being surrounded by ice. It had been a gross thought she occasionally had, but it never ceased to make Yukine a little sick. With at least his hand free, Gouhin was able to maneuver through doors with surprising ease. He’d probably carried people before.

Bagheera had mentioned a doctor who left his family and a good job behind to treat carnivores who go too far in the market. How he’d left everything to do this and hospitals even funded it. So, he was the doctor she’d whispered about and wasn’t eating meat. This realization did nothing for the pedestal she put him on, even if he was a little rough around the edges, he was still too good for his own good, and Yukine suspected she was falling for him again.

Chapter Text

The rest of the evening had gone much smoother after Yukine left the Back Alley Market. Gris, who’d picked her up had been apprehensive, but after a brief explanation, he’d settled down and helped her with everything, apologizing to her about the trouble his boss caused. Gouhin made her promise to text him when she got home, and Yukine would lie to anyone who asked, but it had caused a small flutter in her stomach. Once on the other side of town and in the complex, Riku was apologizing for the trouble and offered to pay for her to visit a hospital, the lion looking rather small in his embarrassment over the incident. She’d played it off easily but once in her apartment, she’d taken a long hot bath to try and help the pain before taking some medication to help her sleep it off. 

The next morning proved disappointing when her ankle looked even more painful than before so she’d settled on a pair of short mary-janes to get through the day. Flats were fine everywhere else, but not work. Not as long as she could help it. Gris had been at her door and offered her a ride to work instead of finding a cab, and it ended up saving her time. Yukine almost felt bad, almost. It genuinely seemed like things were picking up for the better until she found herself in her boss, Inko’s, office for a private but profitable project.

“It’s not that I don’t think I can do it, sir, but… wouldn’t they prefer a… uh-”

“Carnivore?”

Yukine twisted uncomfortably in the seat, looking away from her boss’ long feline face. The woman was beautiful, but her large yellow eyes could be intimidating sometimes. Puma’s stares were quite intense, even if it was unintentional.

“I asked myself, no offense to your work. But the boss specifically requested you, citing previous projects you’d been on having impressed him. I know this is, quite literally sending you into the lion's den, but please consider it. At least go to dinner this evening and entertain the idea? It would be a very fruitful relation for us.” Inko pressed, hands folded neatly on her desk.

Yukine wanted to say no, but she wasn’t sure if there was room to make that decision. Plus, it was good business.

“A dinner can’t hurt.”

“Wonderful. I will let them know. I believe a car will pick you up once you get off this evening. That will be all. You may return to your work. Thank you for your time, Yukine-san.”

The sheep gave a smile and nodded, leaving as quickly but professionally as she could.

A personal project for the Shishigumi. Wouldn’t they already have connections for this? Why would they bring in a stranger? Much less an herbivore? Was it a sick joke? Was she going to die? Yukine felt her stomach churn as she walked back to her office and shut the door, sitting in her chair and plopping her head down to take a deep breath. 

If they wanted to kill and eat her, they wouldn’t make a show of it. This was clearly related to actual business. It just didn’t make sense why they wanted to work with her. Maybe going through emails would calm her nerves. Her mind wandered and she opened her top drawer, pulling out her phone and looking at her messages.

To: Gouhin

I made it home in one piece! Thank you for everything!

He hadn’t replied, nor sent her any other messages. He’d probably gone straight back to work and not given her another thought. It’d been eight years, but she could tell he’d changed. Those muscles weren’t just for show. She wondered just how strong he was to be able to pick her up so easily with one arm and carry her. Yukine’s mind began to stray as she stared at the two messages she’d sent to him. Nothing may ever come of her whims, but her imagination would suffice for the time being. She wondered what a carnivore’s teeth felt like for a moment and how big his hands were before jumping from her thoughts as someone knocked at the door.

How long had she been sitting there lost in thought?

“Uh, come in!”

The door popped open and a blonde lop-eared bunny woman walked in holding two smoothies. One carrot and the other a green color.

“Hey, Yuki! I was on lunch and decided to grab you a wheatgrass smoothie! It’s your fave!” 

Yukine perked her brows up, knowing that meant she was being buttered up. The woman shut the door behind her and walked quickly to the desk, hopping up on it and holding out a smoothie. The sheep gave a small sigh and laugh as she pushed some papers aside, but took the smoothie nonetheless. She hadn’t had much of a breakfast, so she was thankful for the offering.

“You know something.” Yukine prodded.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Yukine rolled her eyes as she took a long sip and poked the woman’s thigh in front of her, finger pushing the skirt until it started to slide up. The bunny squealed, batting her hand away and pushing the skirt back down.

“Fine, fine. Rumor has it you’re doing a project for that illegal lion group.”

Word spread too fast around here. This is what she got for working in a small office. And the woman on her desk, Kana, was the office gossip queen.

“It’s just a dinner to discuss options, I haven’t agreed to any work yet, much less if I can do it.” Yukine sighed as she put the straw back to her lips.

“But you could’ve pushed it off on a carnivore. Our office is full of them.” Kana’s tone was a bit harsh at the end, but she wasn’t wrong. It was definitely a carnivore dominated office.

“Work is work Kana. If you’re so worried about me, you could always be my assistant on the project.” Yukine pointed out with a knowing smirk.

“No thanks. That’s all you.”

Before Yukine could protest there was a light knock on the door.

“Ooh, so popular!”

She elbowed Kana off the desk with a roll of her eyes to the bunny’s displeasure.

“Come in!”

She’d expected Inko, she hadn’t expected Amane, another co-worker, and a hyena who had been her mentor when she’d first transferred here.

“Hey Yuki-san, congrats on the project!”

“Thanks, Amane-san. Hopefully, I’m the right person for the job.” Yukine tried to play it off, sipping the wheatgrass and looking towards her emails to see a new one from Inko. 

Speak of the devil.

“Well, if you need any help, don’t be afraid to ask.”

As he shut the door Kana looked back to her with a knowing look and a shit-eating grin. Yukine knew that look.

“‘Oh, if you need any help, don’t be afraid to ask~’” Kana imitated in a whisper before giggling. 

Yukine threw a pen at her that she easily dodged.

“I’m just saying. He likes you.”

The sheep made a face and picked up another pen threateningly.

“Okay! I’m gone! I’ll behave! Just don’t be surprised when he corners you. ‘Oh Yuki-san, you can erect more than a fine building~’ Ow! Ok! Sorry!” Kana pushed to the door as another pen came flying at her and hit that time.

Yukine laughed, rubbing her face. That woman was a nightmare, but she was a good friend. But Yukine was married to her work, and it would seem to be staying that way. She opened the email now that she was alone, hating the public secret in this office that was her new project.

From: Amano Inko

To: Sato Yukine

Yukine,

The car will be here at 7 pm, please be ready by then and don’t keep them waiting. No need for late-night work tonight or overtime. You’re representing all of us, act accordingly.

Signed,

Amano Inko

Inko & Co. Design

Chairman & Lead Director

Great, she probably needed to wear something a little nicer for a business dinner then. Her ankle would just have to suffer. Yukine was thankful for the brevity of the email, but also partially mad at herself for not expecting otherwise. Within an hour of trying to figure out a way to get home and back in time, Kana had apparently been on the ball or sent on the ball by Inko. She’d gotten a black knee-length dress and modest heels to pair with the black blazer Yukine was already wearing. 

“You’re a life-saver Kana-chan.”

“I know~” The bunny winked as she shimmied away.

Yukine knew that meant a favor would be owed in the future, but better that, than a disgraced dinner host. She spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening finishing up small drafts and putting together a binder in case this project took over her workload as she suspected it might with how Inko had treated it. She changed and decided she would just bring the clothes home tomorrow, folding them neatly and shoving them in an empty bottom drawer in her desk. Once she was ready, she grabbed her briefcase and purse, sliding her phone in the pocket of her blazer. So much for a night of raiding. She’d already told Aki that tonight was another late night so no casual raids for her even. Hopefully, the dinner wouldn’t go terribly late and she’d survive the night. 

As Yuki walked through the foyer she saw a young lion in a suit standing next to a car. He was rather attractive and looked close to her age that for a moment, she forgot about the mortal peril of the situation before he looked up and saw her staring and he checked his watch and then back up at her.

“Sato Yukine?”

Her heart thundered in her chest loudly as all her instincts told her to run.

“Um, yes. That is me. Hi.” She gulped down as much fear as she could and held out a hand. 

He took her hand and shook, and she felt even smaller but forced every professional bone in her body forward.

“We weren’t expecting a woman. No offense. Can I see your business card?”

This was a weird start to an awkward evening, but it was clearly private, so she fished in her purse and pulled her card out and handed it to him with her name and the name of the company on it.

“Sorry about that, I’m Agata.”

“It’s fine, happens all the time.” She was almost offended if she weren’t also terrified and saw him pocket the card as he opened the door for her to get in. Inside was another lion on the other door.

They may’ve known she was an herbivore, but they weren’t taking chances. She slid in without retaliation and sighed as he slid in next to her. The driver was also a lion. In some other world, this could’ve been a fantasy in a way, maybe she did have a fetish. But she’d never felt attracted to carnivores before, besides Gouhin. Maybe it was just much larger carnivores, but Yukine stopped her thought process and stared down at her hands quietly as the car moved before that dangerous line of thought got her into trouble.

“So, you’re a woman.” The driving lion spoke up.

“Yes, sir.”

The lion snorted as he drove, looking back at the road. “I’m not the boss, no need to call me sir.”

This was a bad time to be aroused and scared simultaneously. 

“Oh, we’ll need your phone throughout this meeting as well, Yukine-san,” Agata spoke up, holding out his hand.

This night just kept getting worse as it went on, but she obliged him nonetheless. For her sake, he turned it off and slid it in his pocket. The car ride was silent and Yukine couldn’t decide if she preferred it that way or not. They didn’t trust a stranger, which was fair, but it also brought up the question that had been plaguing her of why they wanted to hire someone from the outside. She’d climbed mountains and this was somehow scarier than any mountain top or cliffside. When the car finally came to a stop, Agata exited first and held out a hand for her. She gratefully took it, wishing she could be anywhere else and not in heels at the moment as she was led inside. Looking around, it clicked pretty quickly and easily why they needed an architect to help with a lot of their infrastructure issues. It was rough and would need a lot of work. Three months at best just from glancing around.

Walking up to the large doors though, she hadn’t expected to see a young red deer waiting for her in a very nice suit and tie, surrounded by lions who looked like they would kill for him.

“Oh my, you are a woman.” 

This was getting painful.

“I’m starting to think that’s a disappointing factor against me.” Yukine joked.

Agata gave a laugh on her side and the red deer cracked a smile. He held out a hand that made her feel a little closer to equal ground and she shook it readily.

“I’m Louis, the leader of the Shishigumi, and I requested you.”

She gave a small nod, still assessing her surroundings and discerning why he’d chosen her. He looked familiar and then it clicked. Horns Conglomerate. She’d headed a few projects for them, that’s why he knew her name. But he’d never seen her. It all made sense. Yukine was happy to say that her work for the Horns Conglomerate was some of her best and most modern. It had been enough to earn her permanent residence in Inko’s company. As they sat down to eat she noticed and took in all the steak on the table. For all the runs she’d done for Riku, this felt very different, and the fear only spread. The wine was very inviting, but she restrained herself to sip it politely.

“Please, have your fill. As you’ve seen we require some desperate repairs. I remembered your name and how you’d taken suggestions that had been shot down and made them work in ways that were ergonomic and cost-efficient. You have a very good eye, I was surprised to find out you didn’t have your own company by now. But, if you help us out, we can offer you more work and money to do such a thing, as long as you understand the importance of this being very low-key.” Louis paused as Yukine finished her glass.

Etiquette was hard to maintain when she was queasy, and she’d been hoping he hadn’t been watching. Everyone looked at her full plate and an empty glass. She put a small hand to her mouth, feeling her cheeks burn.

“Forgive me, I’ve never been one to enjoy much praise. I am proud of my work, but I like working under someone and don’t care much for attention.”

“Bagheera-san told me as much.”

Yukine froze, looking at Louis as if she would have preferred being eaten over this conversation. Of course, he knew. The Shishigumi had their hands in the Back Alley Market. But she hadn’t expected it to be brought up. Making herself small wasn’t working, so clearly this was a project he was passionate about.

“You’re looking at three months minimum of work. While the base structure here is pretty solid foundation wise, there will need to be some restructure if you want it to hold. Your exterior wall is very rough and dilapidated and needs serious updating.”

Her words stopped everyone as she spoke and went into detail based on what she had seen since arriving and walking in. The lions looked shocked and Louis looked pleased with himself. She gave a rundown of what she could guess at but knew she needed more time.

“If I take on this project, I will need blueprints and schematics of the original build for this place.”

That seemed to pull the lions from their stupor and look at Louis expectantly.

“That’s the tricky part. We don’t need blueprints getting spread or shown to the wrong person. We can give you physical copies, but we would need to hold you to not sharing them or taking pictures. And when you draw up your plans, they’d not need to be seen by anyone but hired workers for the location. I’m sure you understand. Since Agata is closest in age, he will be the liaison and meet with you during this first part of the process. If you accept of course. We would need the blueprints returned within a week. And they could never leave your side until given back to Agata.”

The terms were rigorous, to say the least. She could put a lock on her briefcase though and keep it with her. If they were going to trust her, she didn’t want to find out what happened if she broke their trust. Yukine mulled over it before feeling many pairs of eyes waiting for her response. She was going to go home and drink a whole bottle of wine to herself and eat leftovers and act like her life wasn’t in danger. Maybe even call in tomorrow.

“The terms are more than fair. I will do my best.”

“Good, I hope you don’t disappoint me.”

Like nails in the coffin. Dinner wrapped up quickly and she still had an untouched plate, but Yukine wasn’t sure she could eat at the moment. A tube containing the blueprints was brought to her from what she assumed was Louis’ office and she was taken out as quickly as she was brought in.

“Agata, Free, Dolph, see to it Yukine-san gets home in one piece.”

The parting words didn’t give her as much comfort as she’d hoped, mainly because no one asked for her address and just took her home without a word or question. As they pulled upfront, she didn’t hear the doors unlock, and Free, who’d been driving, turned to look at her, making Yukine startle, holding her things close to her chest.

“Boss is trusting you, don’t disappoint him.”

She gave a nod, gulping down nausea in her stomach. She just had to make it to her apartment. She was so close. That seemed to appease him as he clicked a button on his door and she heard the locking mechanism shift and Agata opened the door, sliding out first so Yukine could get out. 

She noticed the lion stay by her side as she headed in and not offer her back her phone just yet. She hoped she got that back before they left her. It was late enough in the evening that no one was around or paying attention as she walked straight to the elevator. 

“Wow, this is a very nice area of town to live in.”

Yukine jumped a bit and looked to Agata, who looked to be trying to be friendly.

“Uh, I guess. My parents gave me a taste for safer options, and this place has really good security.” She explained, nail scratching at the edge of her bag as she glanced up at the lion.

In any other situation, she would have probably been interested in him. His mane looked like ink-stained cotton, even under poor fluorescent lighting. It probably looked even more beautiful in the sunlight. His eyes were large and full of expressions that were very easy to read. Yukine felt an urge to paint him if she could even do justice to his features.

“Is there something on my face?”

The sheep felt her face burn as she looked straight ahead.

“No, sorry. You, just don’t look like the gang type.”

She saw in his reflection in the elevator door Agata looking at her.

“They’re more than a gang. We’re family, a pride. We look out for each other. And besides, I’m pretty strong. Don’t underestimate me just because I’m being nice to you.”

Shit, this was going south fast.

“I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant. Well, maybe it was. Dall sheep don’t do much in the way of grouping up, so maybe I won’t get it. I have friends here and there, but no one I know of who would look out for me the way you all look out for each other.” And kill.

That seemed to put him off for a bit, even if she’d kept the last part to herself. 

“I’m sure that’s not true. You’re very pretty and talented. Your boss was very scared to let you work with us.”

There were so many things to digest in that statement. Inko hadn’t sounded that worried when they’d talked. And he thought she was pretty? No, he was a carnivore who regularly ate meat and killed people, she didn’t need to focus on his compliments. If she had a death wish, that was a fast way to grant it. 

“Am I getting my phone back?” Yukine changed the subject as the doors opened, walking out as if nothing were suspicious or off in case any nosy neighbors peeked around or walked out.

“Oh yeah! My bad. Sorry about that. I’ll be keeping in touch with you to see how the project is coming along beside our weekly meetings.”

Agata handed her the cellphone delicately, surprising her a bit that he hadn’t crushed it already somehow. She slid it into her pocket deciding to deal with it when she got inside.

“I guess that’s fair. I look forward to getting to know you then, Agata-san. And you can just call me Yuki.” Her smile was soft and as warm as she could manage as she unlocked the door.

As soon as the door was shut she let out a breath she’d been holding for a while now and suddenly she couldn’t hold back on the queasiness, rushing to her private bathroom and letting her stomach empty itself. All of her nerves hitting her at once now that she wasn’t under a magnifying glass any more. Yukine felt her hands shaking as she sat on her bathroom floor, leaning her head against the wall as she flushed the toilet, gathering some strength. She pushed herself up and walked to her sink, turning the water on and washing her hands and face, opening up her contacts case. Her fingers delicately pulled them out and she picked up the glasses off her counter, sliding them up her nose with a sigh and realizing she needed to check her phone. Yukine reached into her pocket and saw it was off, pushing the power button to turn it on as she walked into the bedroom and plopped on the bed with only one arm out of a sleeve. 

She extricated the other arm, taking her time to keep her hand on her back and unzip the dress while her phone took its time to get to the home screen and show her any missed notifications, and she saw it. Two missed texts from Gouhin.

From: Gouhin

How’s your ankle?

Are you safe?

Yukine stared at the screen for a long moment at the timestamps of an hour in between the messages that she had no way of seeing or answering before finally pushing out of her dress and changing into her pajamas. She could just reply a simple yes . Yet here she stood, wanting to craft some perfect unnecessary response. As she picked up the phone it began to ring with him on the other end, causing her to nearly drop it in response before answering and putting it against her ear.

“H-hello?”

There was a deep sigh of relief on the other end causing every fiber of fur and wool to stand up on end. How could one person have this kind of effect over another?

“Good, I was growing worried.” His tone rumbled, sounding a little breathy.

Her heart thudded heavily in her chest and stomach, making it rumble and reminding her that not only had she not eaten yet, but had emptied whatever was in her stomach.

“Ah, my bad. I’m so sorry. I’ve been caught up with work, I must not have noticed.” Her eyes darted to the tube laying on the floor with her bags.

“Are you going easy on your ankle? Wait, are you still at work at this time?”

A small fib wouldn’t hurt. It wasn’t like he was here to see it.

“I’m taking medicine and icing it when I can. I came home but brought work with me.” She needed to take something soon, the throbbing was starting to come back since she’d kicked off the heels.

She heard some chatter in the background and a deep exhale from him. He must’ve been smoking, it always made her smile at the irony of doctors who smoked. She could see him in her mind, putting the butt of his cigarette to his mouth and slowly inhaling, and exhaling. The cherry of the cigarette burning, his furrowed brow only touched with scars. Yukine put a hand to her forehead thoughtfully, tracing where his scars were. She was pretty sure he didn’t have those when they met eight years ago.

“Take some care of yourself and don’t overwork your body.”

Yukine gave a small snort, shaking her head.

“I’m not sure if you’re one to talk,” she admonished.

“A patient should listen to their doctor.” Gouhin’s voice was stern, but not enough to make her feel like she was in any real trouble.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t play doctor with just anyone.”

She shouldn’t have said that.

The line went silent, making Yukine glance at the phone to make sure he hadn’t hung up, and then she heard the deep inhale and exhale. She’d made it awkward and now he would never talk to her again.

“Get some sleep and keep icing it. I’ll text you tomorrow evening to check-in.” 

He hung up before she could respond, leaving her even more mortified than if he’d continued the conversation. She dropped the phone and reached up to poke at her horns with a sigh. Tomorrow would be a stay at home day. She could take a long bath, wax her horns, and get started on looking at the old paperwork and layout and what needed to be fixed for sure and changed, and what could just be repaired.