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In the first month after the Battle of Camlann, after she lost Arthur, Gwen had thought she'd lost everything. She thought she would never be happy again. But as time passed, she realised that, although nothing would ever be the same, she still had people who cared for her and who she cared for also. Merlin, the knights, Gaius. And she began to open up again.
Mithian came as a surprise. Two months after Arthur's death, she came to visit Camelot, wishing to not only offer her condolences, but also mourn for the king who had been so kind. They talked for hours and Mithian told Gwen the stories of when she had first met Arthur, which Gwen had had no desire to hear until now, when she was desperate for more of him. She laughed when Mithian told her the story of their picnic, and it wasn't until later that evening that Gwen realised that it was the first time she'd laughed since Camlann.
As time went on, the two women spent more and more time together. About a year after their friendship began, Mithian's father passed away. Gwen left for Nemeth as soon as she could and comforted Mithian as she grieved. At her coronation, Mithian gazed out at the crowd, the crown heavy on her head, and her eyes met Gwen's. Gwen smiled and Mithian felt herself smiling back despite everything.
The two queens became even closer over the next two years, with the kingdoms' alliance becoming so strong that no one dared attack either of them for fear of the other's retaliation. Rumours flew throughout the two kingdoms, which Gwen heard of through Merlin, but she just laughed them off.
Exactly three years after Arthur's death, Mithian visited Camelot. Gwen sat on the edge of her bed and cried while Mithian held her hand and spoke softly to her. Gwen wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, hours certainly. Mithian eventually excused herself when darkness fell, and Gwen felt even more empty sitting in her cold dark room alone.
That night she dreamt of Mithian. Mithian holding her hand and whispering to her. Mithian running her fingers through Gwen's hair. Mithian stroking her cheek and pulling her close. Gwen woke as Mithian's lips were brushing hers and she felt as though she might throw up. It wasn't that she'd never felt this way about women, she had several times. But she hadn't thought about anyone in that way since Arthur died. She'd responded to any questions of future relationships or marriages with annoyance. She didn't think she'd ever feel that way about anyone again, but here she was wishing for Mithian to hold her close and kiss her, and it filled her with guilt.
Gwen tried to ignore her feelings. She thought that perhaps if she buried them deep inside herself, they would just go. But try as she might, whenever Mithian so much as brushed her arm against Gwen's, the feelings would be brought to the surface and Gwen would jerk away because she could never acknowledge these feelings.
It was Merlin who first noticed Gwen was acting strangely and confronted her.
"What's the matter with you lately? You don't seem yourself," Merlin asked as the two walked up the stairs to the castle after Mithian had set off back to Nemeth.
"Nothing. I'm perfectly fine."
"Come on, Gwen. I know you better than that."
Gwen sighed. She knew she couldn't lie to Merlin.
"I've been... getting these feelings for someone and I don't know what to do about it," Gwen eventually replied.
"Mithian?"
"How did you-?"
Merlin laughed, "I told you Gwen, I know you too well."
"Then help me. Because I am so confused Merlin."
"What's there to be confused about? You have feelings for her, and I have a hunch that she also harbours feelings for you."
"That doesn't matter. What about-"
"I know you feel bad because of Arthur. But I'm sure he would want you to move on. And I'm sure he could think of no better person than Mithian," Merlin said, "And," he added, "I think that you would make an amazing couple."
Gwen didn't reply. She remained deep in thought all the way back up to her chambers and then through the rest of the day. She considered what Merlin had said, and after a lot of thought, she made her decision.
The next time Mithian visited, Gwen could barely stay still due to her nerves. She managed to make it through the feast in the evening without imploding, and then she escorted Mithian to the chambers where she always stayed when visiting. Just before they parted, Gwen spoke up.
"Mithian."
"Yes?"
"I was wondering if… if you might like to join me for a picnic tomorrow," Gwen asked, "A romantic picnic," she clarified.
Mithian smiled, "I'd love to."
Gwen let out a breath she hadn't even realised she'd been holding and smiled too. She smiled all the way back to her chambers and continued to smile until she'd fallen asleep.
Merlin and Gwen set up the picnic the next morning and when Mithian arrived, Gwen was sitting there waiting for her, and they both smiled in a way that seemed uncontrollable.
They sat and ate and spoke about everything and nothing. It wasn't much different from usual, and yet it was completely different.
"I didn't think you'd ever ask me," Mithian admitted, "I was preparing to spend the rest of my life wallowing in my unrequited love."
Gwen laughed, "Well I suppose you'll have to come up with a new life plan then."
"Yes, I suppose I will."
Their eyes met and Gwen smiled warmly.
"I think I may have a couple of ideas," she said.
"Oh, really? Like what?" Mithian replied.
And that's when Gwen finally closed the distance between them and kissed Mithian, just briefly.
"I think that's an excellent idea," Mithian said, "Maybe you could tell me some of your other ones?"
This time it was Mithian's turn to pull Gwen's lips to hers for a longer kiss. And Gwen knew that she wouldn't always be happy, and she would always miss him, but that was okay, because in this moment she was certain and she felt nothing but joy.