Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Alright, we’re here now, so please get off the bus without pushing.” The teacher announced to the bus full of highschool kids as them and a few other buses pulled up to the athletics field.
“Finally, it’s not like that took us two hours.” Emma snarked sarcastically as she grabbed her bag and stood up from her seat. She was sitting next to Zoey, who was chewing bubblegum really loudly and probably texting someone on her phone. She hadn’t noticed that they had arrived, either that or she didn’t want to move and was being a dick.
“We need to get off the bus, can you move?” Emma tried not to get too angry, but still seemed annoyed. Zoey didn’t budge, she didn’t even look at her. She just kept chewing her gum and texting whoever the fuck was more important than at least moving out of the way of someone.
“Zoey.” Emma growled, managing to get Zoey’s attention. She looked up at Emma and gave her almost a death stare.
“Ugh, what do you want?” She stopped chewing her gum very briefly just to say that, and went back to her obnoxious mouth-open chewing.
“Move.” Zoey ignored her. Emma sighed angrily. “If you’re not going to get off the bus, at least get out of my way.” Zoey continued to ignore her.
“Zoey, move your stupid ass.” A voice came from beside them, in the row between the seats. It was Ted. Emma and Ted didn’t get along very well, but they still talked occasionally.
“Oh. My god. Fine.” Zoey said in the most stereotypical bitch voice you’ve ever heard. She got up and walked down the aisle to the front of the bus, still texting on her phone.
“...Thanks.” Emma said to Ted somewhat reluctantly, and stepped out into the aisle.
“Yeah.” Ted replied, very dryly.

They stepped off the bus and into the fresh air, taking a deep breath after that hell hole of a bus ride. Emma was somewhat right, it was an hour’s trip, meaning they’d been cooped up with barely any fresh air for that long because buses suck when it comes to air flow.
“What took you so long?” Bill asked them both, he was waiting in front of the bus along with Charlotte for them.
“Zoey was being a bitch, as usual.” Emma sighed as they started walking towards the bleachers. Her legs stumbled as she tried to walk, having been sitting on a bus for an hour her legs were practically non-existent. They all sat down on one of the middle rows of the bleachers under Hatchetfield High sign, and looked around at the other kids. There were three other schools there, Sycamore, Northville and South Heights. This was Hatchetfield’s first multi-school athletics day, so none of the schools ever properly met before. Bill seemed to be looking around somewhat frantically, and stood up just before speaking;
“I’m gonna go find Alice, I’ll be back soon.” The others didn’t pay much attention to this, but acknowledged it anyway. Ted had completely settled into his spot with his iPad, preparing for a day of little to no physical activity, complete with snacks and downloaded movies. He’d already put his sunglasses on, not only to shade himself from the sun but great for telling people to fuck off without speaking to them. Charlotte probably would’ve stayed home today, but she wanted to be there to support her boyfriend, Sam. She was eagerly awaiting Bill to come back with Alice so they could catch up.

“Hey dickheads. And hey sweet cheeks.” A voice came from behind the three of them, and placed it’s hands on Charlotte’s shoulders. Emma and Ted sighed loudly but Charlotte placed her hand on the voice’s.
“Hello, Sam.” She said sweetly. Emma gave her a frustrated look.
“Sam, fuck off.” Emma said before being cut off by Charlotte.
“He’s fine, he’s not doing any harm. Right, baby?” She turned slightly to look up at Sam. He was staring at Emma and had a shit-eating grin on his face. Ted had already turned back to his iPad and continued doing whatever the fuck he was doing. Charlotte awaited a response from Sam, but never got one. “Sam?”
“What?- Oh right, yeah. Yeah, I’m cool.” He cleared his throat and stood up straight from his somewhat leaning on Charlotte’s shoulders position. “I’m gonna head out, the boys need me.”
“Alright, stay safe, sweetheart,” Charlotte said lovingly, but got nothing in return. Sam just answered with a simple ‘yeah’ and rolled off on the heelys his mum bought him last week. Charlotte seemed used to the lack of love she got in return, which was kinda concerning.
“How the hell did he buy those heelys?” Emma asked, watching him roll away into the distance.
“What do you mean?” Charlotte returned the question.
“Charlotte, his catchphrase is ‘I’m too cool for a job’. Where the fuck is he getting the money from to buy heelys??”
“His parents, probably. They’re both doctors.” Charlotte looked off into the distance at her boyfriend who had just stopped wheeling and was now talking to a group of his friends. She looked like she was happy he was having fun, but you could see the sadness in her eyes. Emma seemed to notice, and placed her hand around Charlotte’s shoulder.
“Charlotte, I don’t understand why you’re still with Sam. He’s a complete douchebag! A relationship should be both people giving love, not one person giving and the other taking with no return.”
“Yeah,” Ted piped in, “Sam’s an asshole, Charlotte. You could upgrade.”
“Upgrade?” Charlotte questioned, turning to face Ted with a confused expression.
“To a sleazeball, like me.” He grinned slightly, before being back-handed on the chest by Emma and then shot the death stare not long after. He recoiled angrily and mumbled to himself. Charlotte sighed.
“It’s a nice offer, Ted, thank-you. But I’m in love with Sam, and I know there’s good in him somewhere, you just have to dig a little.”
“Charlotte, I-” Emma was cut off by Ted saying ‘yo what the fuck?’. “Ted, I’m trying to talk to Charlotte here, do you mi-?”
“Yeah, yeah, sorry, but what the fuck is that??” He interrupted, pointing at a person in a mascot costume. It seemed to be a mix of a teddy bear and a squid, but it was more like an anthropomorphic cthulhu.
“That’s Wiggly, he’s the mascot of Sycamore.” Bill suddenly appeared and scared the shit out of all three of them. To the side of him was his little sister, Alice, who was just a year younger than them but they treated her like she was baby.
“JESUS FUCK, BILL.” Ted yelled, jumping back and hitting his back on the log he was leaning on. He yelped in pain and Emma snickered at him, to which he shot her a death glare and his eyes said ‘I’m gonna kill you and snort your ashes’. Emma seemed a little concerned by how enraged Ted looked, but ignored it anyway.
“Sorry. I found Alice, by the way.” Bill sexplained. “Sixteen-year-old boys track race starts soon, so you should get moving soon, Ted.” Ted stared blankly at Bill for a couple seconds before speaking.
“Do I look like I’d willingly do anything athletic??” He almost seemed offended.
“No, but unless you want extra homework, you should probably come.” Ted thought for a minute, put his stuff away, and mouthed the words ‘fuck you’ to Bill as he walked past him and towards the track.

Chapter Text

Bill and Ted walked up to the track, and looked around at all the other boys waiting for the race to start. They were all in clumps, like your typical highschool cliques. Literally when the fuck has a clique ever existed irl. DEADASS.
To the left was a group of 3 guys, two arguing and one just standing there watching them. They seemed like the jocks, or some shit like that.
To the right were two guys, one who was wearing a cowboy hat for some reason and was annoying the other guy, who had a very sexy leather jacket on.
There were other boys scattered around too.
There was also one guy in the middle just standing alone l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶e̶r̶. Bill and Ted both wandered off in different directions. Bill went to go talk to the guy standing alone, but Ted really couldn’t give a shit and went to talk to the guy in the sexy leather jacket.

“Hey, you okay?” Bill spoke softly and invitingly. The boy perked his head up from looking at the ground, a bit startled. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m fine. Everything’s fine.” The guy laughed nervously. He seemed like he was pretty socially awkward. And honestly? Mood.
“Alright. I’m Bill, it’s nice to meet you.” Bill smiled and extended his hand, offering a handshake.
“Paul. Nice to meet you too.” Paul smiled back, somewhat shyly. He shook Bill’s hand and went back to staring at the floor. He put his hands back in his pockets, and was slightly slouched. He didn’t seem like he wanted to talk much at all. They both fell into an awkward silence for a bit, before Bill tried to break the tension.
“Which school are you from?” He asked. There were only four schools at the festival, but most of them hadn’t even heard of each other before today. Bill knew of Sycamore though, Alice’s girlfriend Deb went there.
“Oh, um- Sycamore. You’re Hatchetfield, right?” Paul responded, still avoiding eye contact. He wasn’t the shyest kid, but he didn’t like making eye contact, or really talking to people for that matter. ADHD rights, I guess.
“Yeah, how’d you know?”
“I saw you over there,” He pointed at the Hatchetfield bleachers. “You were talking to the girl who serves me at Beanie’s all the time.”
“Oh, that’s Emma. She has a part-time job there. She hates it.” Bill chuckled slightly. He knew that humour could break tension, and it worked.
“Oh yeah, I always hear her bickering with her co-workers in the back.” Paul laughed along, a lot more open than he was before. He’d taken his hands out of his pockets and wasn’t slouching as much. Bill looked around slightly for Ted, and noticed him ‘talking’ to one of the other guys.

“Dude, fuck off.” The guy in the sexy ass leather jacket snarled somewhat aggressively.
“Why though? Are you scared~~?” The other guy in the cowboy hat asked condescendingly.
“...Literally what is there to be scared of?”
“Oh, I don’t know… The fact that I’m gonna beat you?”
“That’s my least concern at this point, chicken legs.” The cowboy hat guy seemed pretty offended, but didn’t say anything. He looked like he was about to, but then Ted showed up and cut him off before he could.
“Dude, stop bothering him.” Ted said, for some reason defending this stranger in a very sexy leather jacket. I would too tbh. The cowboy hat guy didn’t continue what he was going to say, and instead huffed. The leather jacket guy gave Ted a confused look.
“Who are you?” He asked, a little bit aggressively. Ted got a bit caught off guard by this.
“Ted. Ted Richter. I uh- I go to Hatchetfield High.”
“Ethan Green. Sycamore.”
“And I’m Jack Bau-”
“No-one cares, Jack. Fuck off.” Ethan cut Jack off, to which Jack got all huffy and went to talk to the jocks, or whatever the fuck he does.
“What an asshole, am I right?” Ted tried to break the ice, but Ethan didn’t really seem like he was that interested in talking to Ted.
“Yeah.” He responded, quite dryly. Ted then understood why people hated it when he did that. GOD it makes you feel like shit. Shit was getting real tense and awkward between the two, but luckily the announcer started speaking before Ted started screaming.

Bill and Paul walked over to Ted as the announcer was laying down the rules of the race. Ted seemed confused as to who Paul was, but Bill wouldn’t speak while the announcer was. They all waited patiently for the race to begin, but they were all getting a bit distracted by the fact that the jocks were still bickering at each other and the teacher had to come shut them up.
Once the rules had been set, they all moved up to their lanes and prepared themselves. Ethan did so by singing little songs to himself.
“Karkalicious definition; makes Terezi loco…” He muttered under his breath, readying himself. Ted overheard this and his inner Homestuck kicked in. His eyes widened as he realised that for once, he was not alone in being a filthy Homestuck.
“She wants to know the secrets that she can’t taste in my photo…” He continued, also muttering under his breath, but loud enough for Ethan to hear. Ethan turned and stared at Ted with the same expression as him. Like when you meet your soulmate, or you see an old friend for the first time in years. They were staring at each other for so long they looked like they were speaking telepathically.
“You filthy fucking Homestuck.” Ethan somewhat whispered to Ted, with a slight grin on his face. Ted’s only thought was ‘why is this so gay’.
The announcer started speaking again.
“On your marks…” Everyone readied themselves into a running stance.
“Get set…” Shit’s getting real.
“GO!”

*

After the last one crossed the finish line, the race ended. During the race, Ted and Ethan were yelling the lyrics to Karkalicious at each other while the other kids all unwillingly listened to them, confused. The results were being written on the scoreboard.
1st Place, 10 points - Clark Kent
2nd Place, 7 points - Ethan Green
3rd Place, 5 points - Bruce Wayne
Once the results were announced, there was somewhat obnoxious and very loud screaming coming from the sidelines.
“YEAH!! FUCK YEAH ETHAN!!!” Ethan turned around in confusion, but smiled once he saw them. Ted seemed very puffed, not only because he was quite unfit, but also because he’d been singing Karkalicious the whole time. Fat mood tho.
“Who’s that?” He asked, struggling to catch his breath.
“My girlfriend, Lex.” Ethan said, while waving at her. She had a girl on her shoulders who seemed to be in middle school. They both seemed pretty stoked, and were still cheering Ethan on.
“What the hell were you two singing?” Bill asked, once again scaring the shit out of Ted. Ted jumped out of his skin and turned to stare Bill dead in the eyes with a terrified and rage-filled expression.
“BILL. FOR FUCK’S SAKE STOP SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME.”