Archive of Our Own ^beta

Shag scrubbed the grease-stained grill in the BcDonald’s and marveled at the absurdity of his life. Just yesterday he had woken up in a secret hideout supplied by the CIA to his alien friends, and today he was back at making minimum wage in a fast-food restaurant that only seemed to be in this location because it wanted to fill a quota, and not because they actually drew in customers.

The layer of grease seemed to have become one with the bars of the grill, because even with steel wool it wasn’t budging. Shag glared at it before intensifying his scrubbing. Maybe all the fitness training he was definitely not doing because of a secret war finally revealed its purpose in defeating this enemy.

“Norv?” Sasha peeked around the corner of the wall that separated the customer area from the kitchen. She had gotten the lucky straw this night and manned the register, which was notorious Checking Social Media time, while Ev was stuck back in the storage room to take logistics before they closed, and Shag waged a guerrilla war against the kitchen grease.

“Yeah?” Shag asked, eyes fixed on the stain as he scrubbed furiously. He almost swore he could feel it budging, the steel slowly eating at what had to be several years’ worth of layers of oil.

“There’s a really weird customer, and he’s creeping me out,” Sasha hissed.

Shag finally glanced up, the steel wool forgotten as he looked at Sasha. Working in this joint in one of the more unsavory parts of town meant that they got a lot of weird people. Many of them were just homeless and looking for a place to sit down for a bit, but some were genuine troublemakers, which was why they kept a phone with the police on speed-dial on the counter. But a year of working here meant they were used to that shit, and all of them were capable of kicking ass in their own way, which coincidentally was also sort of an unspoken requirement for getting hired here.

So seeing Sasha genuinely unsettled was definitely an abnormal occurrence.

“What’s he doing?” Shag asked, his voice lowered as he quickly took of the gloves he had been wearing for cleaning.

“He just came in and sat down. Didn’t order anything, and when I called to him from the counter he didn’t respond.”

Shag frowned. While not polite behavior, it wouldn’t be the first time they had someone without money and shelter come in who just wanted some warmth in the night but didn’t have enough coin to pay for a coffee.

“Also, he’s wearing a Mick Mouse costume,” Sasha continued.

Shag froze. No. Not here.

“Norv?” Sasha asked, now looking worried, and he hastily drew in the breath he had forgotten to take for a moment.

He had to see for himself. Steeling his resolve, he stepped past Sasha and out of the kitchen into the dining area.

The wide room was only moderately lit by the harsh neon lights ahead, because merely half of them were still working properly. It bathed the plastic chairs and tables in a cold hue, bleaching the colours. The windows were black, the streetlights outside to weak to shine through the night and into the establishment.

And sat in the middle of the room, was Mick.

Like he had felt Shag’s eyes on him, his head slowly turned. The face remained frozen, as if it was actually just a costume. One hand raised to do a single wave.

“Weirdo,” Sasha muttered beside him, nearly startling Shag from where he had been staring at Mick. All too sudden he was keenly aware of his surroundings. No allies, no weapons. Ev was in the back, but that was only two thin walls away. And Sasha was right next to him, with no idea of the danger they were all in.

“Why don’t you go continue cleaning, Sasha?” he said, fixing a smile on his face. “I know this guy, I think he just wants a quick chat.” And all forces in the universe, he hoped that was true.

“Oookayy?” Sasha said, drawing out the word as she looked at him sceptically. “You sure?” she added in a whisper.

“It’s fine,” Shag said, not bothering to speak quieter because Mick would be able to hear them anyway. “No worries.” He put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed.

Sasha, with obvious hesitation, went into the kitchen.

Like this was really just a normal customer, Shag went around the counter. His steps were normal, his breathing just at the right frequency. He didn’t let the fear that threatened to bubble up inside him take control. Sasha and Ev were in danger, he didn’t have the luxury to be scared. He had to keep them safe, and that was all that mattered.

He sat down at the table opposite to Mick.

The red light of those uncanny eyes hadn’t been visible from afar, but now it was fixed on to him like the laser point of a sniper rifle.

“Hello Shag,” Mick said.

“What do you want?” Shag asked. Neutral tone. No accusation in his words. He couldn’t afford to antagonize Mick. But he also wasn’t going to play small talk games.

“Can’t I just check in with an old acquaintance?” Mick said, his face drawing into the mockery of a friendly smile.

“Well, here I am,” Shag said, gesturing with his one remaining arm. “Same old me. Satisfied?”

Mick sighed exaggeratedly. “Unfortunately not. You see, I thought we had an unspoken agreement. Wherein you stayed out of all this, and I didn’t bother to come around to kill you. But here you are, talking with Scoob, meeting with the others… that’s not good, Shag.”

“Scoob came to me,” Shag said. “And I only met the others because you sent someone to beat me up.”

“Still, this is hardly non-involvement. Surely you can see my problem.”

“Then kill me,” Shag said, his tone blank.

“Suicidal already?” Mick asked, underlying amusement in his voice.

“Is it suicidal if I know you’re not going to do it?”

“And why would you think that?” Mick asked, the red in his eyes briefly flaring.

“Because you already would have done so. Back at the ship, all that crap about ‘being saved by the bell’? Like you couldn’t have taken the extra second to wipe me from existence,” Shag said, putting one hand on the table. “No, whatever Patrick told you about the future… you still need me to play a role in it, don’t you?”

For the fraction of a second, Mick’s mouth turned down, before it was replaced by the self-assured smile.

“The washout is becoming smart, would you look at that,” he said. “Still, you beat up Ger. I’m sure you can see why I can’t just let that slide.”

“Hey pal, we’re closing,” a voice called from behind them, and Shag nearly flinched. He turned his head to see Sasha standing in front of the counter, her trusty broom in one hand. She was obviously trying to look normal, but the death grip she had on the wooden handle betrayed just how much she was ready to fight.

“Sasha-“ Shag started, standing up. Why couldn’t she have just stayed in the back like he had told her to? This really was the worst time for her protective instincts to be rearing their heads.

“Look,” Sasha said. “You and your friend,” her inflection really gave away how much she didn’t believe in that lie, “seem really cosy, except for the part where you’re not, so it’s high time for him to leave, or I’m gonna call the cops.”

“Stay out of this, little girl,” Mick said, his tone making it clear that he thought her way beneath his notice.

“Oh?” Sasha said, drawing up an eyebrow. “Yeah okay, if this is how you wanna roll…” With her free hand she reached for the phone on the counter.

Shag saw the red of Mick’s ballyhoo brighten out of the corner of his eye.

“No!” he shouted, lunging for Sasha, grabbing her arm and yanking her back.

The phone and the part of the counter where Sasha had been standing were sucked into nothingness, the edge of the remaining counter a clean convex curve.

Sasha stared at it, her mouth open. “What?” she said, her previously so commanding voice tiny.

“You were right, Shag,” Mick said behind him, and he turned around to him rising from his chair and into the air, levitating as he channelled his power. “I won’t kill you. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t hurt you. So very, very much. And after that… well, let’s just say Patrick didn’t mention either of your little friends here.”

“They have nothing to do with this!” Shag shouted desperately over the wind that was picking up in response to Mick’s powers.

“So what? They are just humans, I don’t need a reason to kill them,” Mick said.

A red flare, and suddenly a street lantern reappeared before them, hurtling at them with dangerous speed. Shag dove to the floor and behind the remains of the counter, dragging Sasha with him. The lantern collided horizontally with the wall above them, shards of broken tiles and mortar raining down on them in a cloud of dust. Shag tried his best to cover Sasha as the sharp edges of the tiles sliced into his uncovered arm and face. Unheeding of the blood from the cuts, he pushed them into the kitchen before the dust could settle.

“Sasha.” He switched his grip to her shoulder, shaking her until she was looking at him. Guilt cut deeper than the shards as she stared at him with wide, frightened eyes, her usually warm dark skin now ashen.

“Sasha, take Ev, and run through the backdoor, you hear me?” he said hurriedly. “I’ll hold him off.”

Sasha stared at him for a second, uncomprehendingly. Her eyes darted over one of the cuts on Shag’s face, where blood was running down his cheek. Then, something seemed to click in place inside her head.

All sentient beings, toons and humans and animals, had a flight or fight response in the face of danger. Ev, probably the most sensible of them, had always leaned towards flight. Shag had no idea what he was doing at any time. And Sasha…

Sasha, no matter how irrational the situation could be, was full on fight.

“I’m not leaving you alone with that fucker!” she cried out. Shaking off his hand, she picked up the broom she had dropped when they had tumbled into the kitchen, brandishing it like a sword.

The wall between dining area and kitchen disappeared into the vortex.

Mick levitated in the air before them, looking down where they were basically sitting on a platter.

“Hiding is futile,” he said, stretching out one hand.

Sasha snarled, raising her broom even as Shag grabbed her free hand in an attempt to get her out of harm’s way.

“Fuck off, asshole!” she yelled.

A spark jumped between Shag and Sasha’s joined hand.

Something in Shag’s chest lit up, a surge of energy rising in him and into Sasha.

Her eyes lit up with the white glow of a ballyhoo.

Shock flitted over Mick’s face as Sasha swung the broom down. It was way too far away to hit him, but it turned out that that wasn’t necessary anyway.

A maelstrom of wind followed the arc of the broom, strong enough to tear at their clothing, and a miniature tornado released from the broom’s bristles and shot at Mick, hitting him full frontal.

His form sailed across the dining room and into the opposite wall, brick and glass windows shattering upon impact in an explosion of dust.

“What the fuck,” Shag whispered, his grip on Sasha’s hand going slack and falling away.

The light of the ballyhoo disappeared, and Sasha doubled over, gasping for air as she only remained standing because she supported herself on the broom.

“What is going on?” a voice cried behind them, and Shag turned around to see Ev coming through the door that led out of the kitchen and into the storage unit, his wide eyes taking in the destruction before him.

“Norv? Sasha?” he asked, stepping forward to touch Sasha on the shoulder, who was still panting like she had run a marathon, seemingly too exhausted to move.

“Ev-“ Shag began, wanting to tell him to get out of here, when a wave of sheer power washed over them. Dread filled him as he could feel the rage pouring into the room from the wall Mick had been thrown into.

Before him, the color drained from Ev's face, his body shaking like a leaf in the wind from the sheer pressure Mick was exerting.

“Ev, take Sasha and run!” Shag grabbed Ev’s arm, trying to get him to move, but Ev stood frozen on the spot as he stared ahead, his hand still on Sasha’s shoulder.

“Ev, please!” Shag begged. Behind him, the rubble stirred. Ev didn’t move, no matter how desperately he tried to push him away from the death lurking just meters away. “Ev, you need to get out of here, now, please!”

“I’m not here,” he could hear Ev mumbling, as his eyes remained fixed somewhere in the distance. “I’m not here, this isn’t happening, I’m not here I’m not here I’m not-“

A swirl appeared over the destroyed wall, sucking it inside and clearing the way.

“Ev!” Shag shouted.

A spark sprung over where his hand gripped Ev’s arm.

Ev’s eyes lit up.

Another ballyhoo? Shag thought in shock.

The rubble disappeared, and Mick rose, the red of his eyes leaving streaks in the air behind him.

Shag all too sudden realized that whatever ballyhoo Ev may have spontaneously developed, it didn’t matter. No one was a match for Mick. Ev and Sasha were both going to die because of him, and there was nothing he could do.

Mick’s blood-red eyes looked into the half-destroyed kitchen where they were standing.

And passed over them.

“I told you hiding is futile,” Mick snarled.

But his head was turning, eyes darting all over the restaurant, and somehow they didn’t focus on where they were in plain sight.

“Did they run?” Shag could hear him murmur, and then Mick was floating towards them.

Shag braced for an attack, but instead Mick levitated past them, so close that the displaced air from his flight rustled their clothes. And yet he didn’t turn to even glance at them.

Mick disappeared through the back door of the kitchen.

Shag looked back at his two friends. Sasha was also staring, her wide eyes flitting between him and Ev. Ev remained alight with the glow of Ballyhoo, and Shag belatedly noticed that he still hadn’t stopped his mantra of I’m not here.

Silently, Shag motioned towards the broken wall of the front of the restaurant with his head.

Sasha nodded wordlessly, and very carefully, with both of them keeping the unresponsive Ev in their middle who stumbled along, they made their way out of the restaurant. Over the dark street, and a block away.

Two blocks away.

Three blocks away.

They ducked into a dark alleyway, and only there did Shag dare to let go of Ev’s arm.

The light of the ballyhoo went out, and Ev probably would have planted his face on the ground if Sasha didn’t catch him in time.

“What?” Ev mumbled against Sasha’s shoulder.

Shag stumbled back, away from them until his back hit the wall of the alleyway. He felt incredibly drained, and distantly he realized that his breath was probably coming a bit faster than it should be.

He slowly sank down the wall until he was sitting on the filthy floor, his knees drawn up as his body curled in on itself.

He had nearly gotten them killed. If it hadn’t been for the sheer fucking miracle of both Sasha and Ev suddenly getting powers, they both would be dead now. And it was all his fault. Too weak to protect anyone, but too dangerous to be running around. How fucking naïve he had been. He had thought that if he kept away from the war, he at least wouldn’t be liability anymore because of his lack of powers, that no one would have to get hurt because of him anymore. What a fucking idiot he had been.

His forehead bumped into his drawn up knees as he bowed his head. Tears gathered in the corner of his eyes and he tried to blink them away. All his fault. It would be better for everyone if he just didn’t exist.

“Norv?” a soft voice asked above him, and unbidden, a sob escaped him. He clamped a hand over his mouth, but it was already too late.

He looked up to see Sasha peering down at him, Ev sitting on the ground behind her looking absolutely beat.

“S-Sasha,” he got out, trying to ignore his voice breaking on her name. “Are you-“ Alright? Yeah, like hell anyone was alright after that. “Unhurt?”

“Un-“ Sasha stuttered on the repeat, looking at him in slight disbelief. “Norv, I’m fine! Except dusty. And super confused. You’re the one who’s bleeding!”

Shag belatedly looked at his arm that was still littered in sluggishly bleeding cuts from the destroyed tiles, the mild pain barely registering. It was nothing compared to when he had fought Ger and the ballyhoo monster.

“I’m used to that,” he said, trying to dissuade her worry. “But you two-“

“Used to that!?” Sasha exclaimed. “How are you just…?” She sputtered off, apparently not knowing how to finish that sentence. “That guy tried to kill you!”

“No, he… he wouldn’t have killed me. But you and Ev-“ Shag choked on the words caught in his throat. “Sasha, I am so- so sorry.”

“What, no! The only one who has to be sorry is that asshole back there!” Sasha cried out.

“But he only came because of me,” Shag said, pressing a hand to his chest. “He only- god Sasha, why didn’t you just run when I told you to!?”

“Like hell I was going to just leave you there!” Sasha shouted. “That guy he- he talked about hurting you? Like what the fuck!?”

“But I wouldn’t have died! I know how to take a beating, okay? I know how to get back up from that! But you can’t get up from being fucking dead, Sasha, what were you thinking standing up to him like that!”

“I threw him into a wall though.” The S in Sasha evidently stood for stubborn, and the reality that there was two of them in her name meant an unholy degree of it. “Maybe we could have kicked his ass.”

“We definitely could not have!”

“Norv,” Ev said, the first word he had spoken since they had arrived in the alley. “That guy… was he the one responsible for all the bruises you came in with yesterday? The one that were definitely not from a car accident like you pretended they were?”

“Um,” Shag said, scratching the back of his head.

Sasha let out a quiet gasp. “It totally was him,” she whispered to Ev.

“Not directly!” Shag frantically injected before he lost control of the conversation again. “It was someone who worked for him. Also that’s not important right now!”

“Yo,” Sasha said after a second of quiet. “I’m gonna fucking kill that guy.”

“No!”

“I’m down with that,” Ev said.

“What is it with you two and not listening to a word I’m saying?” Shag asked without really expecting an answer, putting a hand to his forehead. He was keenly reminded that these two had just as little self-preservation as he did sometimes.

“Him hurting you? Not okay. Not o-fucking-kay,” Sasha snarled.

“He’s way too powerful for you to take on,” Shag said. “I tried to fight him once, and I got absolutely stomped. The only reason you were able to land a hit on him was because he didn’t expect you to have those powers.”

“Okay, fine, I’m not going to try and meet him head-on,” Sasha said, and for a second Shag felt a bout of relief. “But then, I don’t necessarily have to to make him disappear.” Aaand that relief was gone again.

“It’s too dangerous!” Shag argued, but Sasha just shrugged. So he turned to Ev in hopes of getting the more sensible one. “Do you not remember the part where you literally couldn’t move, even when he wasn’t using his powers? Because your body’s natural fear response was so strong that it didn’t even translate into flight? You should listen to those instincts and run when you see him!”

“You didn’t run either, though,” Ev said, cocking his head to the side. “You could have left us standing there and gotten out of dodge.”

“I wasn’t going to leave you to die!” Shag cried out, horrified.

“So why do you expect us to leave you behind?” Ev asked.

“Because I’m expendable!” Shag shouted.

Sasha and Ev looked at him in shock, and Shag immediately regretted his outburst. He hadn’t meant to let that slip.

“You’re not expendable,” Sasha said quietly, and Ev nodded beside her.

“Ha!” Shag let out humourless bark of laughter, wrapping his arm around his middle. “Expect I literally am.”

“No one is expendable, Norv,” Ev said.

“That’s not even my name!” Shag shouted. “Like, you don’t even… If you knew about me, about what I am… you wouldn’t be saying that.” He turned away from them, unable to look at them as tears began running down his face.

He could hear some awkward shuffling behind him, but he didn’t turn back, not wanting them to see him cry.

“Is your name… Shag?” Sasha asked carefully. “That’s what that guy called you, right? …you’re not saying no, so I’m taking it as a yes.”

“It is,” Shag choked out.

“Shag, Norv, whatever!” Ev said, sounding more forceful than Shag had ever heard him before. “What does it fucking matter? There’s obviously a shit ton of stuff me an’ Sasha don’t know about what’s going on, but I do know that you’re our friend! And to me, that’s all that’s important right now!”

“Yeah,” Sasha said. “You’re our friend. And everything else, we’ll just figure out, okay?”

Shag felt a touch at his shoulder, and looked to see Sasha smiling at him from the side. A moment later, Ev’s hand laid on his elbow at the other side.

“Okay,” Shag said quietly, and suddenly they were both hugging him.

Squeezed between them, there was not much of a way out, and after a moment of surprise, he discovered that he didn’t want to leave anyway. Instead he just laid one arm around Ev, and rested his head on Sasha’s shoulder where she was mushing her face into his chest. There definitely was a wet patch forming on her clothing, but she didn’t seem to mind.

They stayed like that for several minutes, quietly breathing.

“You guys really should be freaking out more about this,” Shag murmured.

“I’m saving that for later,” Sasha said. “As a treat.”

“Not to be a downer, but… where are we gonna go?” Ev asked. “Back to the restaurant… doesn’t seem safe.”

“I… I need to call some friends,” Shag said, at last entangling from their pile to rummage through his uniform’s pockets in search for his phone. “They have a safe space where we can go. And where you can get some explanations.”

He still had Pop’s number on speed dial, and hit call.

Pop answered on the second ring. “Shag, everything alright?” he immediately asked.

“I’m fine,” Shag said.

“He’s still bleeding!” Sasha yelled beside him.

“Shhh!” Shag hissed frantically.

“What? What happened?” Pop demanded to know. “Where are you?”

“I’m just a bit banged up, I’m not dying,” Shag tried to calm him down. “Mick came to visit.”

“WHAT?” Pop bellowed at such a volume that Shag had to take the phone’s speaker away from his ear. “Is he still there? Are you safe?”

“He lost us, I’m safe, but I do need a pick up from Garf,” Shag said. “I’m at 12^th South Avenue and a dead end called number 4.”

“Of course, telling him now,” Pop said. “But wait, you said us?”

“Mick attacked me and my two coworkers, who aren’t involved,” Shag said, and Pop grunted in displeasure. They both knew that this didn’t bode well for the general state of the war.

“Not to be a bother, but how long until that ride gets here?” Ev interjected. “It’s getting pretty cold.”

Just in that moment, a frame opened on one of the house walls.

“’Sup,” said Garf, voice muffled through the face mask.

Ev’s surprised scream was high-pitched enough that it threatened to shatter any remaining windows the houses still had.

“What the fuck…” Sasha murmured, looking amazed by the open rectangle from which the light of the safe house was spilling into the dim alleyway. Meanwhile, Ev was doubled over as he tried to regain his breath.

“Yo, no offense Shag, but those two…?” Garf trailed off, motioning at Sasha and Ev with one thumb.

“They already saw Mick’s ballyhoo,” Shag said as he disconnected the call to Pop. They’d see each other face to face in a moment. “Ev, you alright?”

“’m fine,” Ev waved him off between gasps.

“What is this? It’s incredible,” Sasha said, figurative stars in her eyes as she studied the frame.

“You can go through it,” Shag said. “It’s our ride.”

Sasha gasped. “Really?”

“Oh god this is so weird,” Ev muttered.

But they both stepped forward, and the frame closed unto the now empty alleyway.