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Chapter Text

Two shadowhunters pinging at the edge of his wards was enough to set his skin on edge, but when Magnus heard precisely who was standing outside his building, his whole body tensed.  

Isabelle Lightwood and New York Institute assumptive head Jace Herondale.  

Magnus frowned and buzzed the both of them up without another word, leaning in the doorframe of his apartment as they both stepped out of the elevator.  Neither of them appeared to be injured, nor were they in their usual combat leathers.  He raised an eyebrow.  

"Magnus Bane?" Isabelle asked, stepping forward.  

"Yes?" Magnus said, turning his attention to her.  "Is this an official visit?"  

"No," Jace said, crossing his arms over his chest.  "This has nothing to do with the Institute."  He shot a glance at Isabelle and sighed.  "In fact, it might be considered going against the Institute."  

Magnus raised both of his eyebrows at that.  "You can understand how that doesn't make me jump with eagerness to hear what it is you need of me."  

"Dammit, Jace," Isabelle said, turning to look at Magnus.  "We need your help.  It's not for either of us.  It's for our..." at Jace's look she flinched and met Magnus' eyes again.  "For my brother."  

Magnus took a second to remember exactly who that might be.  But the only other Lightwood sibling that he was aware of was a child.  Someone who might not be old enough to even take his first rune.  "What happened to him?"  

"I..." Isabelle swallowed.  "We don't actually know.  But we do know that it was a warlock that did it."  

Magnus stood up, his posture tense and alert.  "A warlock attacked a child?  Where?  When?"   

"No, not," Jace sighed and held up his hands.  "Not recently.  Nothing has happened recently.  This happened almost a decade ago."  

Magnus frowned and turned to Isabelle.  "I was under the impression that your brother had not yet taken his first rune.  This happened to him as a toddler?”

"No," Isabelle said, her face falling.  "Not my younger brother.  My older one."  

Magnus blinked at her and looked at Jace, whose face was still stony.  "You have an elder brother?"  

Isabelle sighed.  "May we please come in, Warlock Bane?  I don't want to explain this without at least sitting down."  

Magnus stepped back and into his loft, waving them both to the couch in the main area before moving to his drink cart, shutting the door behind them.  When he turned, both the shadowhunters were tense but sitting.  He sipped his martini and settled into a chair across from them.  "You need to explain.  In as much detail as you can muster."  

Isabelle lifted her eyes and met Magnus Bane's and had to hope that despite appearances, he was as kind as his reputation indicated because he might be the only chance they had to help Alec.  "Have you heard the rumors of the Mad Shadowhunter that lives in the New York Institute?"  

Magnus' eyes sharpened on her, narrowing.  "I have," he allowed.  They were horrifying tales.  A man driven mad by power or pain, the tales were never specific.  Prone to horrifying fits of screams and violence, attempting to destroy himself as much as everyone around him.  

Isabelle's eyes softened and she looked down at her hands.  "That's my brother.  Alec Lightwood.  He's not mad.  He, he needs help.   And our parents won't seek it out.  Please, I'm begging you.  He needs someone to help him."  

Magnus snapped away the drink.  "Tell me everything.  Now," he ordered.  

It was slow, and halting, but Magnus carefully pulled the story out of both of the shadowhunters.  A young shadowhunter, on one of his first patrols, taking a curse from a warlock meant for his parents.  A curse that was unidentified, but put him through unimaginable pain at intermittent moments, caused extreme fits of violence and even urges of self-harm.  

"And what," Magnus asked, sighing as he looked at both of their sad, drawn faces.  "Do you want me to do to help him?"  

Jace spoke up then.  "The Lightwoods are away from the Institute for the next forty-eight hours.  I'm in charge until then.  I want you to come to the Institute, assess him, see if there is anything that can be done for him, and cure him, if possible."  

Magnus let out a low whistle.  "You want me to break a decade-old curse?  That's a tall order, even for a High Warlock, Herondale."  

"You'll be compensated," Jace said, tugging the large ruby on a chain out of his pocket.  He offered it to Magnus.  "For your consultation of his condition.  Afterward, name your price."  His grin turned wry.  "As a Herondale, I'm sure you are aware I have a significant amount of money and influence at my disposal."  

Magnus took the ruby from his fingers and stood up in a flourish.  "What's his name, again?"  

"Alec," Isabelle said.  "Please, he's not mad, Magnus.  When he's not under one of the, the waves of whatever this curse is, he's my big brother, and we've had him locked up for years."  

Magnus looked at both of them in consideration.  "I'll be happy to come and see him and see if there is anything that can be done for him.  But know that it is entirely possible that I cannot."  

"We know," Jace said, hanging his head.  "It took me too long to listen and realize how much of Alec was still there between the spells.  Once I realized, it was just a matter of finding someone who we thought would actually help us."  

Magnus nodded in acknowledgment of that, and stood up, wiping off his pants as he magic'd away the necklace.  "Will we be doing this now, or should we sneak in at another time?"  

"Now," Isabelle said.  "Best to do it when our parents aren't there."  

"Very well," Magnus said, giving the two of them a considering look.  He hummed and tucked his fingers into the pockets on his pants.  "I suppose you are trusting me to attempt to help your brother.  So I shall trust you with something."  

"What is that?" Jace asked with a frown.  

Magnus gave him a secretive smile and a wink.  "Are you currently using the Head's office while the Lightwoods are gone?"  

Jace nodded.  "Why?"  

Magnus summoned a portal and gestured the two of them through it.  When they stepped out and into the Head of Institute office, both of them turned wide eyes to him and Magnus winked.  "I've been maintaining the wards on this property for decades now, children.  You think I wouldn't give myself an emergency in and out if I needed it?” 

"Can other-" 

"No," Magnus said, shaking his head.  "It's keyed to my magic and mine alone.  You'll notice I didn't set off the alarms?  Everyone else would."  

Jace relaxed a fraction and huffed, pushing his fingers through his hair.  "I'm going to pretend that I never heard any of that.  Izzy, take him down to Alec.  Check the hallways first."  

Isabelle nodded and darted out into the hallway, making sure it was clear before she led Magnus to the residential area.  When she turned to look at Magnus to ask him to wait, she found that he wasn't there, except she got the feeling he was being watched.  

"Glamours are useful things, my dear," Magnus said.  "This one'll just make their eyes slide right on past me.  Now, lead the way."  

Isabelle started walking faster, now that she knew Magnus wouldn't be seen, it was easier to take him down the almost abandoned hallway, to the rooms that weren't kept up any longer.  Once she reached Alec's room, a scream sounded from inside and she tensed, biting her lip.  "Oh no."  

"What's wrong?" Magnus asked, watching her hesitate, her hand on the knob of the door.  That same scream came again, unearthly and torn from the chest of whoever was doing it.  It was easy to feel the soul-deep agony in the sound and it made his heart ache.  

"He," Isabelle swallowed and clenched her eyes shut as a thud sounded behind the doorway.  "I didn't think he'd have another spell this quickly.  They're coming more frequently, but I thought he'd have another few days at least."  

Magnus frowned and looked back to the door as it went abruptly quiet.  "Better to let me in, then, Isabelle Lightwood."  

"I don't," she bit down on her lip, even when he looked at her.  "I don't want him to hurt you."  

Magnus smiled faintly and gestured for her to open the door.  "I am far more dangerous than an unarmed and un-runed shadowhunter, Isabelle."  He stepped into the room and assessed it.  It was bare, and the furniture was bolted to the floor and the lights were recessed and covered in the ceiling.  

The sheets and blankets were torn off the bed (also bolted to the floor, Magnus noted), and dotted with what looked like blood.  It was a larger room, at least, and there was a window, and, if the locked cabinet at the other end of the room was an indication, food, and other supplies available for when the shadowhunter wasn't under a spell.  

"Alec," Isabelle called, stepping around the bed.  "Alec, can you hear me?"  

"Best to not step too close and let me handle it," Magnus said, tugging her back with a gentle touch to her arm.  "Trust me in this.  The last thing that he would want as your brother would be to hurt you."  

Another whimper and then a muffled shout into a pillow the figure was curled around drew his attention and Magnus advanced on the man who was curled up in the corner of the room, shaking minutely, tear tracks streaked down his cheeks.  He crouched down a few feet away and took in the wild black hair, the scattering of runes on the man and the sweatpants that were at least two sizes too small and the overbig t-shirt.  

"We," Isabelle swallowed.  "Jace and I, try to make sure he has things.  But, but our parents notice if we give him too much.  We can't sneak much by them.  But pillows, and sheets, and food, sometimes clothes, those we can manage."  

"It's a horrible thing to live in endless pain, but even more to do so without any comfort," Magnus said, his voice quiet.  "You can leave, now, Isabelle.  I'll see myself out, and if I'm successful, I'll let you both know."  

"I can't just leave you here with him!" Isabelle burst out, taking a few steps closer, only to watch Alec flinch away from the noise, making her bite her lip.  "He doesn't know who you are."  

Magnus turned to look at her and he gave her a sad smile.  "Listen to me.  I'm going to do everything I can to take care of your brother.  But two people in the middle of an episode is too much.  He can't focus on both of us, and he needs to be able to focus on me so I can help him."  

Isabelle bit down on her lip and nodded, reluctantly.  "All right.  Do you know how long it will take?"  

"Not at the moment," Magnus said.  "But trust me when I say that this is not easy magic.  I'm glad we're isolated.  The more shadowhunters you can send out on patrol right now would be better."  

Isabelle nodded.  "I'll talk to Jace.  We'll get something organized." 

Magnus nodded once, dismissing her, turning his attention back to the shadowhunter curled in the corner of his room.  He waited until the trembling had died down, and the shouts into the pillow had stopped.  By the time the shadowhunter uncurled enough to look at him, Magnus' thighs were aching from the position he was in, but he wasn't about to move.  Not yet.  

When the shadowhunter looked at him, Magnus blinked as weary hazel eyes met his, and the sorrow in them was deeper than the ocean.  He almost made an aborted move forward, but instead, he stayed right where he was.  

"Hello," Magnus said, keeping his voice low.  "My name is Magnus."  

Chapter Text

The shadowhunter stared at him, and Magnus wondered if he'd lost his mind somewhere in the endless deluge of torment that he was under, but then the shadowhunter was breaking into a smile, his head falling back as he laughed.  

"Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn.  Come to see the Mad Shadowhunter?" 

Magnus blinked and narrowed his eyes as his name and title were casually tossed out there.  "Have we met?"  

"No."  

Magnus tilted his head and frowned.  "Then how do you know who I am?"  

"You've maintained the wards of the New York Institute for the past thirty-seven years.  Maybe longer now, it's hard to remember.  I've seen your Clave file."  

Magnus gave a snort.  "I'm sure it's extensive."  He watched the shadowhunter finally start to lose the last of the tension that was weighing on his body and then he was slumped against the wall, clearly exhausted.  "How are you feeling Alec?"  

"That's a horrible question," Alec said, opening an eye to stare at the warlock.  "A better one would be to ask what the hell you're doing here."  

"Jace and Isabelle brought me here to see if you could be cured.  Your parents are away, and I guess this is their version of play," Magnus said, shifting to a kneeling position by Alec now that it looked like the worst of the wave was over.  

"Waste of time and money," Alec spat, scowling.  "I've told them that.  They should know better.  We've tried.  We've tried a dozen or more times.  Nothing worked.  I'm-" A tremor worked its way up his arm and he whimpered, breathing through the knife hot flare of pain.  "I'm stuck like this and they know it."  

Magnus frowned at him.  "Other warlocks have come to examine you?"  That was strange.  If it was true, he would have heard of it - or at the very least, the rumors of the Shadowhunter in the basement of the New York Institute wouldn't exist.  

"Yeah," Alec said, breathing out hard, opening his eyes before he attempted to force himself to his feet with a grunt.  He watched the warlock stand up as well before he sank down onto the edge of the bed.  "Most of them don't wait out the waves though.  The second they touched me with their magic, I attacked them.  Or so they say.  I don't remember."  

Magnus gave a nod, leaning back against the wall to stare at the exhausted shadowhunter in front of him.  "How often do you get hit with...is it pain?"  

Alec sighed and pushed his fingers through his hair.  "Anywhere between multiple times a day, to going a week without one.  It varies, widely, and there's no consistent pattern I've found."  He stood up and trudged to the locked cabinet, putting in the code before opening it and pulling out a notebook, walking back to Magnus Bane, offering it to him.  "Two years I tracked them, the ones I remembered, trying to find a pattern.  There is none."  

Magnus took the notebook and flipped through it idly.  The documentation level was extensive, dates, times, everything that Alec Lightwood could remember from the episode.  "And is it pain?  Or is it something else?" 

"It's pain on a level I don't fully understand," Alec admitted, threading his fingers through his hair again.  "I can tell you I intimately know the pain of losing a limb, losing a child, losing family, but none of that has ever happened to me."  

Magnus frowned and put the notebook to the side, turning to face him.  "What do you mean you know that pain?"  

Alec tapped his temple.  "I've experienced it.  The waves are pain, but every kind of pain you can imagine.  Mental, physical.  I have nightmares about it, about waking up in different kinds of pain.  The physical...." he sighed and hung his head.  "The physical is the easiest to deal with."  

Magnus' heart ached at the quiet admittance from the shadowhunter and he nodded again, clearing his throat.  "Do you know why?  Has anyone told you?"  

Alec shook his head.  "All I know is that I was hit for a spell that was meant for my parents.  When it hit me, it was purple lightning, and it felt like it burned every single one of my veins before all the pain centered in my head.  Then I blacked out.  When I woke up, I was in the middle of my first episode."  

Magnus waited, because the weight behind that statement was impossible to miss, even though Alec clearly wished he didn't have to think about it further.  

"I broke three arms and four legs as a teenager, as a twelve year old, of fellow seasoned shadowhunters before they were able to restrain me," Alec said, his voice calm.  "All because I couldn't control how much pain I was in.  I lashed out, and didn't see who or what I was hurting."  

Magnus let out a low whistle, shaking his head at that.  "That's a lot."  

"Yeah," Alec said, his voice quiet.  "So, after the fifth or sixth time that happened, when we figured out that I couldn't control it, I was put in here.  Izzy and Jace allow me out sometimes.  Train with them.  Stay in shape.  But if I have an episode, they're the only two that can get me back here to ride out the rest of it."  

Magnus exhaled hard.  "And this has been going on for?"  

Alec shook his head.  "A decade?  Maybe longer?  I don't exactly celebrate birthdays in here."  

The words were chilling in their blunt honesty.  He had never heard anyone sound so resigned in his entire life.  The torture this boy had gone through since he was a child, all because he had saved his parents, was monstrous.  Magnus cleared his throat.  "Do you know the name of the warlock who cast the spell on you?"  

"She's no longer alive.  But yeah.  Jace, Jace, and Izzy can give it to you.  She was tried by the Clave, I think," Alec said, rubbing the back his head.  "Why are you here?  Why don't you just scan me with your magic, know that there's nothing you can do, collect your payment and leave?"  

"What makes you think I can't do anything to help you?" Magnus asked.  "No matter how many warlocks you've had here to examine you, I've been around the block a few more than most."  

Alec laughed, harsh and quiet.  "Because I know how the spell reacts to magic."  He stood up and went to the cabinet, locking and securing it.  "The second you touch me with any sort of magic, it reacts, I relapse, I'll attempt to attack you, you'll blast me with magic, or maybe if you're kind, bind me to the bed and then leave."  

Horror curled in his gut, tight and violent at the blunt, matter of fact descriptions.  "Is that what's happened when anyone has come to examine you?"  

Alec shrugged.  "I got used to it after the fifth or six one.  Thankfully, Iratze still works on me, so when I've been injured, Jace or Izzy put it on me.  They won't trust me with a stele for obvious reasons."  

Magnus pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose.  He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, determined to at least do something for the boy in front of him.  "Okay.  I am... woefully unprepared to examine you this second.  I need to talk to a friend of mine.  She's a specialized healer, and I've never met someone as good as healing as she is."  

"Why?" Alec asked, turning to look at him.  "Examine me, say you can't help me, take your payment and leave.  A better option for you."  

"Because," Magnus said, standing up as he stared at the shadowhunter, reaching out to squeeze his arm, just the brush of skin on skin.  "I am going to find a way to help you.  It might take me some time.  But I am going to find a way to break the curse that you're under, Alec."  

Alec stared at him, blinking, before he turned his head away.  He didn't want to hope.  "I don't have it so bad, you know," he said, glancing towards the cabinet.  "There's a, a tablet in there.  I can read.  Izzy and Jace replace it when they can if I break it.  So I have books.  I, I get exercise.  There's a window so I can see outside. I'm fed.  I have a bed.  I can't hurt anyone else."  

Magnus' heart broke at the description of the life Alec Lightwood was living, and how, almost optimistically happy he sounded about it.  "Go get your tablet for me," he ordered, his tongue too big for his mouth.  

Alec frowned.  "Why?"  

"Because," Magnus said with a huff.  "At the very least, since I can't do anything for you today, I can spell the damn thing against breaking, so you can have books as often as you want them."  

Alec blinked and his eyes widened before he hurried over to the cabinet, pulling out the tablet, bringing it back to the warlock.  "You don't have to," he said, biting down on his lip.  "You really don't."  

"I want to," Magnus said, taking it from him.  A quick wave of his fingers and the strongest protection spell he could summon was wrapped around it, sinking into it.  "There.  You should be able to throw it, step on it, anything.  It'll remain unbroken."  He stared as Alec lifted the tablet to his chest and hugged it tight before bringing it back to the cabinet to lock it up.  

"I don't have anything to pay you with, Ma-" Alec shook himself and cleared his throat.  "Warlock Bane."  

"You can call me Magnus," Magnus said, smiling faintly at him.  "We're going to be seeing a lot of each other in the next few days, I think, Alec.  The least I could do was make sure you don't go crazy from boredom during that time."  

Alec laughed, harsh and low.  "No, I'm quite crazy enough already, thank you."  

The reminder was painful, but jarring.  Magnus stood up and took a deep breath.  "All right.  I know we have a very limited window to work in with your parents gone, so I am going to contact my friend immediately.  We need a way to examine you without triggering an episode."  

Alec stared up at him, his eyes wide and wondering.  "You do actually want to help."  

Magnus crouched down in front of the shadowhunter, meeting his hazel eyes and the hope that flared in them, even though everything about his life had taught him better.  "I do actually want to help you, Alec.  And I am going to do everything in my not-inconsiderable power to make that happen."  

Alec bit down on his lip and nodded.  "All right.  Thank you.  You should go soon.  I'm sure Izzy is waiting for you."  

"I will," Magnus said but stayed right where he was, staring at the beautiful shadowhunter.  "But Alec?  If I can't..."  

Alec clenched his eyes shut, breathing out hard.  "If you can't?"  

"I'm going to find a way for you to live a better life than this," Magnus promised, his voice soft.  "I don't know exactly how I'm going to do that.  But I'm going to find a way to do it."  He smirked, his eyes bright.  "And I'm the warlock who invented the portal, so you could say that I'm known for magical innovation."  

Alec stared at him, his eyes wide and shocked.  

Magnus nodded at him and reached out to squeeze Alec on the arm again before standing up.  He made his way over to the door and looked around the bleak room before snapping his fingers.  In a second there was a fresh set of sheets on his bed that looked like the other ones but would feel like heaven.  When the shadowhunter met his eyes in confusion, he shrugged.  "You look exhausted.  Might as well have a comfy mattress and sheets."  

"Thank you," Alec said, his voice hoarse.  

Chapter Text

Magnus gave him another nod and stepped out of the room, shutting the door behind him.  Isabelle Lightwood was waiting for him, her face anxious, even as she locked the door and he wanted to snap at her that Alec wasn't some animal meant to be caged.  This wasn't her fault.  

"Well?" Isabelle asked, staring at him.  "Can you help him?"  

Magnus blew out a hard breath.  "I don't know.  Not yet.  I'm going to try, but I need to talk to a friend about different ways to examine him since magic sets off episodes."  

Isabelle blinked, her eyes widening.  "I, all right."  

"I also need something from you," he said, turning to look at her.  "I need the file on the warlock who did this to Alec.  He said that she was captured and put on trial.  I need to know who it is.  Normally only warlocks who cast the spell can undo it.  But if I at least know who I know where to start."  

Isabelle bit down on her lip and nodded.  "I can get you a copy of it.  Do you need that now?"  

Magnus shook his head.  "No, I need to go talk to my friend.  Fire message me when you have it.  I'll be back.  As you said, we have a small window to work in before Maryse and Robert return?"  

"Yeah," Izzy said with a nod.  She glanced towards the room and then back towards Magnus.  "Thank you.  For, for being willing to try."  

Magnus gave her a faint smile.  "I pride myself on the best service, Isabelle.  You've paid for that, and that is what you will receive.  Also, no one should suffer like your brother is.  If it's in my power to help him, I will."  

"Thank you," Isabelle said again.  "Thank you for, for not giving up on him."  

Magnus nodded again and summoned a portal for himself, stepping through it, before he was on the phone with Catarina a moment later.  

"Cat?  I'm calling in at least a dozen of my favors.  I need your help."  

Catarina snapped to attention.  "What do you need?"  

"Your particular brand of brilliance."  

Catarina smirked.  "Flattery will get you everywhere, Magnus."  

"I'm hoping this time it'll get me a cat scan," Magnus said, glancing around his apothecary.  He pulled down a dozen ingredients, stacking them on the desk.  "And maybe a few other things."  

"Magnus, what's going on?"  

Magnus huffed and scowled, looking around for his missing Talin to help him stir the potion.  Where the hell was it?  "I'll explain as soon as you come by.  I need to make a nullifying potion.  Basic, but best to start there."  

Catarina stood up.  "My shift is over in an hour.  I'll head over afterward."  

"Sounds great, I'll see you then."  Magnus hung up on her and closed his eyes, focusing, snapping.  But the damn thing didn't show up in his hand.  Which meant that it wasn't where he'd left it either.  Fucking thing.   

~!~ 

Isabelle sent the fire message and wasn't surprised when she received one back almost immediately, this time bearing a phone number.  She saved it into her phone and then dialed the number.  

"You have the file?" Magnus asked.  "Where are you?"  

"Standing outside your building, if you care to buzz me in," Isabelle said.  

Magnus huffed and waved a hand, letting her through the wards.  "There, come on up."  He hung up on her a second later and focused on the potion that he was stirring counter-clockwise, watching as Catarina carefully wove a spell into it.  

"Who is that?" Catarina asked, frowning as she twisted her fingers, grunting in effort.  

"Isabelle Lightwood.  Her brother is the one we're trying to help.  Going to need her to help.  She's bringing me a file we need," Magnus said, pulling his hand back when the potion emitted a belch of sparks before it faded to almost clear.  "There, done.  And you'll have a stockpile for the future."  

Catarina smiled at him.  "Thank you, Magnus."  

Magnus waved a hand to let Isabelle Lightwood in and began bottling up the potion.  When she appeared in the doorway, he held up a finger and then turned his attention to her, and the file clutched in her hands.  He held out his hand for it.  

Isabelle handed it over, biting down on her lip.  "Magnus, they attacked-"  

Magnus held up his hands.  "I'm very intimately familiar with Clave punishments, Isabelle.  You don't need to tell me what I'm going to find in there.  I need to know who."  He flipped it open and stared at the warlock on the front page, dropping it to the table with a curse.  "Fuck .  Of course it's her."  

Catarina frowned and picked up the file, flipping it open.  "So the rumors are true.  She is dead."  

Magnus groaned and wiped at his face.  "She'd have been beheaded, at the very least, for attacking two Institute heads."  He turned his attention to Isabelle.  "Tell me what you know about her."  

"Very little," Isabelle said.  "But she," she swallowed and continued.  "She'd had her family killed by shadowhunters, before.  Circle members more recently and in the past, before the Accords..."  

Magnus crossed his arms over his chest and frowned, leaning back in the chair.  "You said she originally aimed the spell at your parents?"  

Isabelle nodded.  "Yes."  

Magnus shared a look with Catarina and turned his attention back to the file.  Lavella Aphors.  He blew out a hard breath and bit down on his lip.  "This complicates things," he admitted.  

Isabelle frowned at him and tilted her head.  "Why?"  

"Because," Magnus said, opening his eyes to look at her.  "Lavella is, excuse me, was, one of the most gifted warlocks I have ever met in my entire life.  And her specialty was curses."  

Isabelle's face fell and she looked down at the file.  "So you can't help Alec?"  

"I didn't say that," Magnus countered, sinking into his chair behind the desk.  "But this complicates things to an absolutely unnecessary degree."  He rubbed his temple.  "All right.  Isabelle.  How much time do we have before your parents come home?"  

"Maybe thirty-six hours," Isabelle said, looking at him worriedly.  "There's the possibility they stay longer, especially since Jace has things running smoothly."  

Magnus rubbed his temple harder and groaned.  "All right.  I need to remove Alec from the Institute for a few hours.  We need to run him through some mundane tests.  Catarina," he said, gesturing to her.  "I'm sorry for not introducing you.  Isabelle, this is Catarina Loss.  Catarina, Isabelle."  

Isabelle nodded to her and turned her attention back to Magnus.  "You can't remove him.  What if he has an episode?"  

"You have two very powerful warlocks that will restrain him and bring him back," Magnus told her, his face grim.  "But with a little luck, we're going to be fine.  But we need to see if the magic is impacting your brother physically, and we can only do that at the hospital."  

"All right," Isabelle said.  "That's fine.  What else do you need from me?"  

"Right now?" Magnus said.  "Nothing.  Keep everyone at the Institute focused and the hell away from Alec.  I'm likely going to be visiting him often in order to talk to him and try some of the things I have here."  He met her eyes.  "I won't pretend that whatever Lavella did to your brother is not very serious, Isabelle.  Whatever curse it is that she cast, to have lasted this long, was powerful."  

Isabelle gave another jerky nod.  "I'll go and get back to work.  Can I tell Alec that you'll be seeing him?"  

"I'll send him a fire message," Magnus said.  "But yes, inform him that I'll be visiting regularly."  He watched her give him a quick smile and head out.  He waited until the door shut behind her before cursing, turning to Catarina.  

"You're giving her unnecessary hope," Catarina said, staring him down.  "If Lavella cast this, you and I both know there's almost no chance of removing it."  

Magnus looked up at the ceiling, the sounds of Alec's screams echoing in his mind.  "You didn't see him, Cat.  You didn't hear him.  He's being tortured by her curse.  And it wasn't meant for him.  He was a kid, trying to protect his parents."  

"If it was meant for Robert and Maryse, you can bet that it was something that she created just for them.  Probably to punish them for the light sentence they got from the Clave," Catarina added.  

"Right," Magnus said, rubbing at his face again.  "Which means we have one option."  

Catarina blinked.  "No.  Magnus that's a horrible idea."  

"It's what I've got," Magnus said with a shrug.  "Do me a favor and let her know I'll be along in a few hours?"  

Catarina pursed her lips together and frowned at him.  "All of this for a shadowhunter.  Why?"  

"Because if he's being tortured for the sins of his parents, he deserves to be set free," Magnus said simply.  "Because he had his childhood, his teenage years, ripped away from him and he lives in a cell and the only joy he has in his life are occasional visits from his sister and a tablet that lets him read books."  

Catarina's face fell and she stared at Magnus.  "Is that...how he's living?"   

Magnus lifted his eyes to her and nodded.  "His furniture is bolted to the floor.  His mattress was a board until I gave him a comfier one."  

Catarina swallowed.  "I'll let Constance know you'll be seeing her soon."  

Magnus sagged in relief and stood up, wrapping Catarina in a hug.  "Thanks.  I owe you one."  

"One or seven," Catarina said with a huff.  She shook her head.  "Don't let the Lightwoods know you have a bleeding heart for their kid or you're going to never hear the end of it."  

Magnus snorted.  "I do have some sense of self-preservation, no matter what you think," he shot back.  "Now, get going, I need to go see Alec."  

Catarina gave him a tighter hug and summoned a portal for herself, stepping through.  

Magnus wrote out a quick fire message and sent it off in a flick of his fingers to Alec.  Once he finished collecting everything into his travel potion bag, he stepped through a portal, directly into Alec's room.  When the shadowhunter sat up in shock on his bed, Magnus held up his hands.  "Just me."  

Alec blinked at him.  "I, I didn't think your message meant that immediately."  

"It's inefficient to have your siblings keep attempting to sneak me in when this is faster," Magnus said with a shrug.  "Now that I've been here I can portal us both in and out as we need."  

Alec blinked again and opened his mouth.  "Both of us?"  

Magnus nodded.  "I've been busy.  And I have some leads.  And I have a charm for you to wear, and a potion for you to drink."  He paused and looked to Alec.  "Do you know if potions trigger spells?  I skimmed through your notebook, but I haven't read everything in earnest yet."  

"I..." Alec swallowed and frowned, thinking about it.  "I don't think that potions trigger them, no.  But we should be careful."  

"Okay," Magnus said, pulling out a vial of clear liquid.  "That's a nullifying potion.  It's meant for nastier things in the magical world, canceling them out.  I don't think it'll actually stop the curse that's on you, but it will at least help to make the spells less painful."  

Alec stared in surprise as Magnus laid out several more of the vials.  "Why, why so many?"  There were at least six, and he was laying out four more.  

"Because," Magnus said with a huff.  "This is a daily potion, and this was what I had handy in terms of vials."  

Alec swallowed and stood up from the bed, carefully.  "It'll make them less painful?  Really?"  

"If they work, yes.  And then we're going to take you to a mundane hospital," he added, his back to Alec.  

Alec tensed.  "Why?"  

Magnus turned to look at him after he finished setting up the vials.  "Because, if I can't test you with magic, the next best thing is to test you with mundane equipment.  I need to see if the magic has altered you, or your brain, physically.  My friend Catarina is going to help us.  She works as a nurse in the hospital."  

Alec swallowed and shook his head.  "It's not a good idea for me to leave the Institute.  If I have another episode-" 

"If you have an episode," Magnus said, his voice softening as he walked closer with one of the vials for Alec.  "Then Catarina and I will both bring you back here.  You'll be okay.  We know what we're doing, and this is the first thing we need in order to be able to help you."  

Alec looked down at the vial that Magnus was offering him and took it into his hands, swallowing it down quickly, clenching his eyes shut to wait.  When it didn't seem like there was an episode rushing up on him, he let out a shaky breath.  "I, I usually can tell, now.  It's only about thirty seconds, but, but I can feel one coming on when it does."  

"Okay," Magnus said, keeping his voice soft.  "Do you want to change before I take you to the hospital?  Catarina is waiting there for us when you're ready."  

Alec frowned and looked down at his feet.  "I don't.  I don't have proper shoes."  

Magnus looked down and studied Alec's bare feet and the visible bruises on them before meeting his eyes again with a faint smile.  He held up his hand.  "If I may?"  

Alec gave a small nod.  

Magnus snapped his fingers, putting size twelve black flip flops on Alec's feet.  "There.  How do those feel?"  

Alec blinked down at them and wiggled his toes, smiling a little.  "They're, they're nice.  And they aren't-" 

"They're pretty sturdy too.  Better than walking around on all this stone.  Speaking of which, what the hell, doesn't the Institute have proper heating in this day and age?  I don't know how you haven't frozen your feet off," Magnus grumbled, looking at the floor.  With a quick wave of his fingers, bright yellow magic sank into the floor and swept across all of the stones on it.  He gave a firm nod.  "There, step out of the flip flop and tell me how that feels."  

Alec stepped out of the shoes and onto the floor, waiting for the familiar spike of chill and blinked when they felt almost... warm.   His eyes widened and he put both feet down on the ground, a surprised laugh escaping him before he covered his mouth and stared at Magnus Bane.  "That...how long will that last?"  

Magnus bit down the ache that was now becoming familiar at the joy suffusing Alec Lightwood at the simple comfort of not having to deal with a freezing cold floor.  He probably had socks in abundance to help, but something like this should have been done years ago.  "It's permanent," he said, keeping his voice soft. He ignored the stunned look from the shadowhunter and summoned a portal.  "All right, let's go."  

Alec stared at the portal and took a step towards it, before pausing and biting his lip.  "What if the magic breaks the portal?"  he asked, turning to look at Magnus.  "It, it interacts so badly with other magics, what if I-" 

Magnus could see the start of a panic attack growing in Alec's eyes, so he reached out and took the shadowhunter's hand, offering it a small squeeze.  "Look at me, Alec," he ordered.  

Alec focused on Magnus' eyes and blinked when he thought he saw them flash gold for the briefest of seconds.  "I, yes?"  

"I'm not going to let you fall through the portal.  You won't get stuck in limbo.  There's no one on this planet who knows more about them.  I invented them, remember?  I'm going to keep you safe," Magnus promised, his words quiet and certain in the room.  "Hold onto my hand.  I won't let you go."  

Alec shifted their hands and pressed their palms together, wondering if Magnus felt the jolt that shot through him at the touch.  He bit down on his lip and nodded, looking to the portal.  "All right," he said. He slipped on the shoes again and straightened his shoulders.  "Let's go."  

Magnus held on to his hand as he stepped through the portal.  He shielded Alec from as much of the magic as he could, and when they stepped through to the other side, Alec was trembling, his face white with fear, but he looked to be okay.  He glanced towards Catarina and stepped in front of Alec, forcing the shadowhunter to meet his eyes again, holding onto his hand.  "Okay, Alec?" he asked.  

Alec swallowed and nodded.  "It, it stung.  Not, not pain.  But stung.  I don't think I should do that too much," he added.  

"Okay," Magnus said, relaxing a fraction.  "Let's get you set up.  We're going to put you through quite a few different tests, so I'll apologize in advance.  And also, let me introduce you to one of my best friends, and the best Healer I've ever met.  Catarina Loss, this is Alec Lightwood.  Alec, Catarina."  

Alec dipped his head.  "Thank you for being willing to help.  I, I don't have anything to pay you with, but I appreciate it."  

Catarina's eyes darted to Magnus and then back to the shadowhunter in front of her.  She smiled kindly and stepped closer to him.  "This is about helping someone who needs help, Alec.  Not about payment.  I'm a warlock first, but I'm also a nurse.  And you need help.  Now, let's get you situated and I'll tell you how everything works."  

Magnus watched Catarina talk Alec through test after test, including taking some of his blood (that Magnus kept to himself, because he had a feeling he needed to see the reaction that Alec's blood had to magic), until all three of them were feeling the exhaustion.  When they finished the last one, Catarina gave him a tired nod.  Magnus watched Alec stand and sway and was immediately at his side, wrapping an arm around his waist, supporting him with his shoulder.  "Steady there, shadowhunter," he teased.  

"Yeah," Alec said, blinking tiredly.  "I'm sorry.  I just, it's a lot."  

"I know," Catarina said.  "Magnus will take you back.  You need to eat, and drink some fluids if you can.  And rest.  We'll keep working and be in touch soon."  

Magnus gave her a nod and summoned a portal, tangling his fingers with Alec's again, looking to him.  "I won't let anything happen to you," he promised, meeting Alec's eyes again.  

Chapter Text

Alec swallowed and bit down on his lip, nodding and holding on tight to Magnus' hand.  As they stepped through the portal, he cried out, feeling the stinging start to get worse, and that horrid creeping sensation that meant a wave was coming started in his belly.  The second they were through the portal, he yanked his arm away from Magnus, dashing for the bed, grabbing a pillow.  "Put the vials in the cabinet and get out!" he managed, curling up into the corner.  

The wave hit him just as he managed to press his face into the pillow, a scream escaping him as fire and pain surged through him, his whole body aching as he held the pillow tighter, the material ripping under his fingers.  The pain ebbed for the briefest of seconds before it was back in another wave, this one even stronger.  Alec screamed again, his throat sore, his whole body already aching.  It had only just started and he hurt so badly.  Why did it have to hurt so much?

Magnus stared in shock as he watched Alec scream into the pillow.  The nullifying potion was clearly doing nothing and he blinked back tears, watching as Alec screamed again and again.  At the very least, he wasn't destroying anything, but that could be because this was pain, more than anger.  His heart ached and he wanted nothing more than to soothe the clear pain that wracked Alec's body again and again.  

Magnus knew he needed to go see Constance.  She'd be able to help him with the summoning and would prevent any issues if he went through her.  He bit down on his lip as Alec screamed again and stepped closer, sitting down on the floor across from him as he shouted and sobbed into the pillow, rocking his body in the smallest amounts as he rode out whatever it was that was torturing him.  Whatever Lavella had meant to do to the eldest Lightwoods, Alec should not have to suffer like this for it.  

He didn't know how long it was before Alec's screams finally started to subside and he was left trembling, but Magnus watched him start to cry, his shoulders shaking as he pressed his face deeper into the pillow.  He summoned a bottle to his fingers and cleared his throat.  "Alec," he called, keeping his voice low in case Alec was still riding out the pain.  

Alec blinked his eyes open and stared in shock at Magnus, sitting on the floor only a few feet away from him.  Izzy, Izzy never stayed, because he was dangerous, it was a risk for anyone to be near him during, during one of the waves, but Magnus was still sitting there?  "Did, did you leave and come back?" he asked, his voice hoarse from the screaming.  He winced and pressed a hand to his throat.  If he got up, he could get a bottle of water from the cabinet, but the idea of moving felt impossible.  

Magnus summoned a bottle of water for Alec, watching as he took it with shaky fingers, sipping at it slowly.  "No.  I stayed.  I wanted to make sure you were all right, since it was my fault that you were dealing with this."  

Alec shook his head and looked at the other bottle Magnus was holding.  "What's that?"  

Magnus sighed and looked down at the pill bottle.  "The nullifying potion clearly didn't work.  But maybe this will.  They're mundane pain medication.  For, for after.  I don't think it'll work during.  But after?"  He held it out to Alec and watched him take it.  "Take one.  It should, it should help."  

Alec swallowed and laughed, rough and low, into the pillow.  "I don't understand why you're doing all of this.  It's just a waste of time."  

"I hate seeing anyone suffer," Magnus said quietly.  "And you certainly don't deserve to suffer like this for saving your parents lives, Alec."  

"Trust me," Alec said, hoarsely.  "I'm well-aware of just how much shadowhunters deserve to suffer."  He closed his eyes and pressed his face to the pillow again, trying to regulate his breathing.  It was quiet for a long time and he wondered if Magnus had left, but then, of course, when he opened his eyes again, Magnus was still there, beautiful and watching him.  "I was going to try to make it better."  

"Make what better?" Magnus asked, his voice soft.  If talking would distract Alec while the pain meds worked, then that would be for the best.  

"The Nephilim.  Was gonna.  Gonna try to help," Alec said, tilting his head to look at Magnus.  "Prevent another Circle.  Another Valentine.  Was gonna try."  

Magnus smiled sadly at Alec.  "I'm sure you could have done it."  

Alec shrugged.  "Maybe.  Maybe not.  Would have at least tried."  He pulled the pillow down just enough and stretched, leaning back against the wall with a sigh.  It was nice not to be cold while he sat on the floor.  "Why are you being so nice to me?"  

Magnus stared at him, and he shook his head.  "I don't know how many times I can tell you that I don't want to see you suffer, Alec."  

"Why not?" Alec asked, tightening his arms on the pillow.  "Why don't you hate me, hate us, just as much as she did?"  

Magnus sighed and looked down at the ground.  "That's not an easy question."  

"No, it isn't," Alec agreed.  "But if there's one thing I've thought about while I've been in here, it's why.  The spell was meant for my parents.  She clearly meant to cast it.  I can still remember the hate in her face when she did.  Which means she meant to put my parents through this."  

Magnus' mouth was dry as he stared at Alec, before he nodded.  "Yes.  I believe that she did."  

"Why?" Alec whispered to the air.  "I've always wondered why.  Why she wanted to do that.  Why she wanted to cause that much pain.  Because this..." he held out his hand, still shaking the minutest amount.  "This is torture.  Endless, excrutiating torture, with no cure."  

Magnus flinched and looked down at the ground again.  "You're right.  It is."  

"Then I realized," Alec confessed.  "I knew the reason.  Perhaps I always did, I just didn't want to admit it."  

Magnus' head snapped up and he stared at Alec.  "What?"  

Alec turned to meet Magnus' eyes and he raised his eyebrows.  "Before this happened, I was being trained to take over the Institute.  There's things I know, and when you have nothing but time, you think.  More than you should, perhaps."  

Magnus couldn't do anything other than stare at Alec as he started to realize what Alec was getting at.  

"My parents were Circle members, weren't they?" Alec asked, softly.  "Just like Hodge.  And they were required to stay here, in the New York Institute.  That was their punishment."  

Magnus closed his eyes and breathed out slowly.  He could still feel the bite of an adamas blade in his shoulder that had been swung by Maryse Lightwood and opened his eyes to meet the sad ones of her son.  "Yes, they were."  

Alec nodded, his suspicions confirmed.  "Then she meant to hurt them.  To pay them back for what they did."  

"That doesn't mean that you should be suffering like this," Magnus said, his voice quiet and certain.  "That doesn't mean that you should have to pay the price for their crimes, Alec."  

"I suppose not," Alec allowed, sighing.  "But I can't hate her.  Because if it's true, and that's what made her cast the spell and aim it at my parents, who knows how much they may have deserved it.  Circle members murdered hundreds of downworlders, probably more than the Clave ever wants to even consider knowing about."  

Magnus stared at Alec and swallowed, his throat tight as he processed and worked through that logic, because it made sense.  It made a horrifying and perfect amount of sense.  "Lavella lost her family to the Nephilim.  Twice," he admitted to Alec.  "The first time, it was a husband and a child, long before the Accords were written.  That was when she began to focus her magic on her ability to create and cast curses."  

Magnus turned to look away from Alec and towards the bed that was in front of both of them.  "The second time was by the Circle.  One of them by your parent’s hand, I believe.  A wife, this time.  And all three of her children."  

A wounded noise escaped Alec and Magnus' attention snapped to him and he was afraid another wave was coming, but there was nothing more than tears trailing slowly down Alec's cheeks.  The devastation on his face was clear and Magnus wanted to wrap his arms around Alec.  

"I hope," Alec said, exhaling hard.  "That she found a measure of relief in cursing one of us, even if she couldn't do it to my parents.  She, she deserved that."  

Magnus sucked in a hard breath and growled, crawling on his hands and knees to move in front of Alec.  "No.   Look at me.  Look at me Alexander Lightwood, and don't you dare look away from me while I say this."  

Alec lifted his eyes to meet Magnus' and his eyes widened when he saw golden cats eyes staring back at him.  Magnus' warlock mark that hadn't been in his Clave file, out and obvious.  "I...okay?" he managed.  

"You are not responsible for the sins of your parents.  You are not required to carry their burdens, guilt, or pressure.  Do you understand me?  You do not deserve this.  And while your parents may have - that is for them to reconcile with the angels after they leave this world," Magnus said, his voice firm, meeting Alec's wide eyes.  When the Nephilim didn't answer, he leaned in just a fraction closer.  "Do you understand me, Alexander?"  

"Magnus," Alec breathed, exhaling hard.  "I know that it should be like that, but-" 

"Do you think I'm evil?" Magnus interrupted, glaring at him.  

Alec reared back, blinking in surprise.  "What?"  

"You heard me," Magnus growled.  "Do you think I'm evil?"  

"No, of course not," Alec said, his voice soft.  "You've, you've done for me, in a few hours than anyone has done in...in..." he shook his head and swallowed hard.  "In years.   You're the furthest thing from evil, Magnus."  

Magnus nodded at him, his expression fierce as he kept his glamour dropped for the shadowhunter.  "And if I told you my father was a Prince of Hell?  In fact, the most powerful one?  And I've done horrible things at his side that I'm going to spend the rest of my life making up for?  How about now?" 

Alec's mouth went dry and he stared into Magnus' golden eyes, his heart pounding too hard, making his eyes water.  "No, of course not," he whispered.  "You've, you've done nothing but try to help and take care of me since you found out what happened."  

"I have to believe that people can change, that people can be better," Magnus said, his voice carrying a vein of desperation.  "Because if they can't, that means I can't, and I refuse to believe that.  I refuse."   

Alec swallowed and a tear slowly slid down his cheek.  

"But just as I am not responsible for the hundreds of thousands of crimes my father has committed, you are not responsible for yours, Alexander.  We are not, and never will be.  You understand me?" Magnus whispered, scooting in closer to him.  "And you have to believe that, with your heart and soul.  Understood?"  

"I'll try," Alec whispered.  "I'll, I'll try, Magnus."  

Magnus leaned and pressed their foreheads together.  "I'm going to get you out of this, Alec.  I will get you out of this."  

Alec reached out and carefully pressed a hand to Magnus' side, helping him to keep steady as they leaned into each other's space, exhaling slowly, breathing in time together.  "I'm not worth all of this," he whispered, his voice still hoarse after screaming.  

"Alexander Lightwood," Magnus growled.  "Did you not hear what I just got done saying?  You are worth all of this and more.  And I will not let you think or say otherwise.  Understood?"  

Alec stared at Magnus and bit down on his lips, nodding.  He couldn't remember the last time someone other than Izzy had been so determined to try and help him.  But even Izzy was scared of him, of what happened during his waves.  "Can we get off the floor?"  

"Of course," Magnus said, holding out his hand to Alec, helping him upright easily.  He smiled at the shadowhunter and gave him a gentle nudge towards the bed.  "Here, you lay down."  

Alec nodded and sat down at the edge of the bed, pushing his hair out of his face as he sighed.  "What if there is no cure?  What if there's no way to break the curse, Magnus?  What happens then?"  

Magnus paused and watched the resignation fall over Alec's face again.  His heart ached at the idea that Alec would have to go back to the utilitarian life that he led here, with so little joy or happiness in it.  A grin curled his lips and he raised his eyebrows.  "You want to know?"  

Alec blinked at the happiness that suddenly seemed to surround Magnus.  "I, yes?"  

"I rescue the prince from his tower of isolation and take you away to somewhere where you can be happy!" Magnus said with a flourish.  "Somewhere your sister can visit as she pleases, where you have a room you can go to if a spell is coming, and a normal home the rest of the time."  

Alec's eyes flooded with tears and he shook his head.  "I, Magnus, I can't let you do that for me.  Not to mention, I wouldn't know what to do if I did get out of here.  I'm a shadowhunter."  

Magnus' smile and excitement softened.  "I know.  And maybe the idea of running away with you is more than a tad fanciful, Alexander.  But I think you also need to realize that the remainder of your life does not need to be spent in this room, looking out at the world and watching it pass by."  

Alec swallowed, pressing a hand to his chest, his heart pounding painfully as he nodded.  "Thank you," he whispered, before turning to lay on the bed, curling up.  The mattress and pillows Magnus had summoned for him earlier felt like heaven and he sank into them greedily.  

"Alexander," Magnus said, smiling at him.  "You don't have to thank me for that."  He reached out and carefully rubbed a hand down Alec's arm, giving him a reassuring squeeze to his wrist before he stood up.  "I have a few other places to visit tonight, but I'll come see you again in the morning."  

Alec looked up at him.  "You don't have to."  

"I know," Magnus said.  "But I want to," he admitted, his eyes bright and happy.  "I might enjoy spending time with you.  Besides, if I'm here, at least you aren't sitting here alone and brooding.  Pretty sure you've filled up your brooding quota for life in the past decade."  

A surprised burst of laughter escaped him and Alec grinned up at Magnus, smiling as he settled into the pillow.  "You might be a little bit right about that."  

Magnus winked him and snapped the blankets over Alec, tucking him in.  "Get some rest, Alexander.  I'll be back, hopefully with some answers in the morning."  

Alec nodded and watched as Magnus summoned a portal before stepping through it before he was alone again.  The quiet of the room pressed in on him, but he focused on the soft mattress beneath him, and the pillows that were the comfiest he had ever owned.  He bit down a smile and closed his eyes.  Maybe instead of pain, tonight he would dream of eyes made of gold.  That sounded rather... nice.   

Chapter Text

Magnus stepped out of the portal and up to Constance's front door.  He knocked on it firmly and straightened his shoulders, getting ready for the argument he knew was coming.  When Constance Miller opened the door, already glaring, Magnus held up his hands.  "At least let me explain?" he asked.  

She scowled and turned her back on him, leaving the door open.  Once he'd stepped through, she slammed it shut behind him.  "What the hell are you thinking, Magnus?"  

Magnus crossed his arms over his chest and stared her down.  "I'm thinking that a child was cursed over a decade ago and deserves to try to be freed from that curse."  

Constance's face got even more pinched.  "Magnus, they killed her.  They got their revenge.  We owe them nothing!"  

"This is not about some debt," Magnus said.  "This is about a twelve year old boy who knocked his parents out of the way of one of the most vicious curses I've ever seen, trying to protect them, and has spent the last decade locked up in a prison cell."  

Constance sighed and looked to the ceiling.  "Heaven save me from men with crushes."  She strode towards her apothecary.  "You know that she might not even answer my summons."  

"I know," Magnus said, clearing his throat.  "But she'll likely answer mine.  I just need you to help me guide her here."  

"This is risky," Constance warned.  "Especially if she's still angry and I think both you and I do know that she's going to be furious when you start asking her these questions."  

"I'm aware," Magnus said.  "We still need to try to summon her.  I need to know what kind of a spell she used."  He met Constance's eyes.  "I've never seen anything like it, Constance.  He's constantly being tortured by magic, and it's as strong as it was ten years ago.  Any touch of magic, including portalling, is even to set off another episode."  

Constance thawed, just a little, and frowned at him.  "That doesn't mean it's a good idea to try and summon her."  

"I don't have a choice," Magnus said, looking at her.  "I'll never be able to figure out how to undo it if I don't."  

Constance huffed and sat down behind her table, lighting the candles around the seance circle with a snap of her fingers.  "All right, sit down.  Because if I'm about to try to summon Lavella Aphors, I'm not about to get cursed, so you're going to help."  

Magnus smiled and sat down at the circle, listening as Constance began to chant, the weight of the power growing in the room until it reached a breaking point.  Breathing in deeply, Magnus rode the wave of power until he felt it abruptly snap.  He opened his eyes and looked across from him.  Gone was Constance, and in her place was Lavella Aphors, her eyes blazing with fury.  

"Hello Lavella," Magnus said, staring her down.  

"Well, well, if it isn't the resident party boy.  What are you doing calling me?" Lavella asked, tossing her hair.  

"I need your help," Magnus said, watching her.  Her eyes were still fever bright with fury that had never left her after she'd lost her second family.  He'd hoped that one day she could heal, but it had all been too much.  "I've found someone who is under the effect of one of your curses."  

Lavella's eyes narrowed.  "Oh really?  Now that's interesting.  Tell me, what reason could you have for wanting to call little old me?"  

"I want to lift the curse," Magnus said simply, meeting her eyes.  He watched her laugh, loud and long.  "You need to tell me how to do it."  

"Magnus, you old softie!" Lavella said, grinning at him, bright and wide.  "Which shadowhunter has come begging to your door?  There are a few dozen that must be left living.  How much did they pay you?  Whatever amount it is, you should demand to double it!"  

Magnus didn't smile, didn't laugh.  Instead, he kept watching her, his eyes locked on hers until she abruptly stopped laughing and stared at him.  "The Lightwoods," he said, keeping it simple.  

Lavella stiffened and her face twisted in a snarl.  "I'll never help them!  Never!  Not after what they did!" she growled.  "They deserve-" 

"They," Magnus corrected, his voice firm.  "Are not the ones you cursed.  Your curse hit their twelve year old."  

"Sacrificing himself for the good of his family," Lavella mocked, scoffing and rolling her eyes.  "Fool should never have gotten in the way of my spell."  

"But he did," Magnus said, narrowing his eyes at her.  "And he's suffered, endlessly, this past decade, for it.  I need you to tell me how to remove it."  

Lavella laughed, her head falling back.  "Remove it?  Why would I ever tell you how to do that?"  

"Your spell wasn't meant for him," Magnus reminded her, staring her down.  "I know you better than that, Lavella.  You would never knowingly torture a child.  Not even a Nephilim one."  

Lavella frowned and settled down, tucking her chin into the palm of her hand, staring at Magnus Bane in front of her.  "He would have grown up to be their child, their pride and joy, carried on their mission, their hate, everything horrible that they had brought into the world."  

"You don't know that," Magnus said, staring her down.  "And making him pay for a crime he never committed is not something I can condone, Lavella."  

Lavella was quiet for a long time before she looked down at the table.  "I wanted them to know what it felt like."  

"What what felt like?" Magnus asked, staring at her.  

"My pain.  Yours.  Ours.   All of the downworld.  I wanted them to know all of the pain they'd inflicted, how it felt," Lavella said, staring down at her hands on the table.  "Not only that, but I wanted them to suffer, Magnus."  

Magnus stared at her and smiled sadly.  "Whatever Maryse and Robert deserved, Lavella, it should not be taken out on their son like this."  

"I turned their pain on them," Lavella said, continuing as though Magnus hadn't spoken.  "Every wound they'd inflicted, every injury, both physical and mental, every atrocity, the pain associated with it.  I turned that on them, and I poured everything I had into it.  My pain, my anger, my sorrow.  All of it."  

Magnus sucked in a slow breath, his eyes widening.  

"And when I cast that spell, there was no thought in my mind other than wanting to make them pay for what they had done," Lavella finished, before turning to look at Magnus.  "There was no designed spell.  It was magic and intent, and it was buoyed by raw emotion."  

Magnus' heart skipped a painful few beats as he stared at her and watched her eyes fall and turn sad.  

"I'm sorry, Magnus," Lavella said.  She shook her head.  "I would not have wished that on their child."  

Magnus took a deep breath and lifted his eyes to focus on her.  "Do you know of any way that I could lift the curse?  He can't be touched by magic, it causes him to experience an episode of pain so intense that I've never seen anything like it." 

Lavella shook her head again, her expression falling further.  "I don't know that there is a way to undo intent, Magnus.  Whatever spell is leveled on him is likely impossible to remove."  

Magnus closed his eyes and let that answer wash over him, the sorrow deepening in his chest at the realization that Alec had been right.  There was nothing to be done.  He opened his eyes and looked at her.  "You've sentenced him to a horrific life, Lavella."  

"I'm sorry," Lavella said, her face crumpling.  "I never would have done that to him, you're right.  No matter how angry I was, I would never do that to a child.  I'm so sorry, Magnus."  

Magnus stood up from the table and the candles around the circle flickered as blue flames curled around his hands.  "I hope that you find peace, Lavella.  I wish that for you."  

"Magnus-" 

Magnus severed the connection and turned away from the pity in Constance's eyes that he knew was there.  He turned to face the door and took a deep breath.  

"Magnus," Constance called.  She stood up and reached out to touch his shoulder.  "As horrible as what Lavella did is.  Sometimes, horrible things happen in this world.  There's nothing we can do but learn to live with them and try to do better in the future."  

Magnus swallowed down the response that wanted to burst from his lips.  That that wasn't good enough!  That that had never been good enough.  Alec Lightwood had lost everything, had been tortured for over a decade, and now it didn't appear that there was anything they could do for him.  "Thank you," he managed, waving a hand so a small bag of gold ingots landed in the center of the table.  "Have a good night, Constance."  

Magnus pushed his fingers through his hair and stepped out into the chilly New York air.  He looked up at the sky, his magic still roiling under him.  If Lavella's spell had been nothing but intent and magic, there was no easy way to unravel it, not without being able to study how it worked and impacted Alec's body itself.  He blew out a hard breath.  And he couldn't do that without causing Alec to have another episode.  

Which meant that hopefully some of the tests Catarina had done would give him some answers.  In the meantime, at least... 

Magnus pulled out the vial of Alexander's blood and closed his hand around it.  He had tests of his own he could perform.  He opened a portal to the loft and stepped through it, striding for his apothecary.  He had work to do.  

~!~ 

"Magnus."  

Magnus sat up in a flurry, his eyes wide as he stared at Catarina in shock.  She was standing in the doorway of the apothecary and in a second, he could see that she didn't have good news for him.  

"Magnus, have you slept?" Catarina asked, summoning two cups of coffee to her hands, striding into the room, handing him one before lifting the other to her lips to sip.  

Magnus shook his head and took a sip of the coffee.  "Constance summoned Lavella last night.  Worse than we thought.  I don't think there will be a way to reverse or unravel the curse."  

Catarina sighed.  "And I don't have good news for you either.  Physically, Alec is as healthy as he could be.  Nothing wrong with him, no matter what test we performed."  

"Which leaves us what I'm working on," Magnus said, staring at the cauldron in front of him and the dozen books that were spread out and open to numerous pages.  He turned to Catarina and yawned, drinking more of the coffee before he looked at the mess he had spread out on his desk.  

"The nullifying potion did nothing for him and I think I know why," Magnus said, holding up another vial with a few drops of blood at the base.  "Look at this.  His blood.  Now, if I introduce magic to it..." he let a spark touch the blood and the few drops of liquid reacted violently, churning violently in the bottom of the vial until it calmed.  "All of Alec's blood reacts like that."  

Catarina chewed on her lip.  "So, what?  His blood is contaminated?  Or his blood carries the curse?"  

"Partially," Magnus said.  He held out his hand and snapped, another two vials landing in his fingers, the blood in one of them almost seeming to shimmer.  "Here's the interesting thing.  I took a portion of his blood and managed to separate it.  Human and Angelic."  

Catarina's eyes widened.  "That's-" 

Magnus waved a hand.  "Yeah, that's why half the books on the desk are medical books.  It worked well enough to show you this."  He sent the same pulse of magic through the two vials and the blood with the shimmer proceeded to explode inside the glass and the other didn't react at all.  

"The normal blood didn't react at all," Magnus said.  "I've tested it a hundred times, every single time I get the same result.  The human part of him is not cursed.  The angelic part is.   That's why he's only getting waves of pain.  Why he reacts to magic the way he does."  

Catarina blew out a hard breath, pressing her hand to her face.  "So it is impossible to fix."  

"Technically," Magnus said, chewing on his lip.  "But the potential solutions are not ones I think he'd find tenable."  When Catarina looked at him, he waved a hand.  "A vampire bleeding him dry and then feeding him their blood, and then blood from a mundane."  

"Might work, might not," Catarina agreed, sighing.  

"Right," Magnus said.  He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair.  "Nothing else I can think of is a possibility - and while Shadowhunters can be de-runed, their blood is still partially angelic."  

Catarina stared down at Magnus and crossed her arms over her chest.  "All right.  So what now?"  

Magnus blew out a hard breath and closed his eyes.  "I have to go visit Alec and tell him all of that.  Then I have to tell him we can try some more traditional curse-breaking.  Stuff like the omamori charm.  Maybe even a cleansing."  

Catarina's voice gentled and she took a step closer.  "And if that doesn't work, Magnus?  Because you and I both know that sometimes, things don't work out, no matter how powerful we are."  

Magnus closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  He didn't want to think about that, but he knew that Alec would ask him the exact same question.  "Then we see if there is a way to ease his pain and focus on that.  The, the waves are excruciating to watch, Catarina, I can't imagine what it is like to actually experience them," Magnus said, his voice softening.  

Catarina gave a small nod.  "Why are you so invested in this, Magnus?  He is just a shadowhunter.  A Lightwood, on top of that."  

Magnus swallowed, looking away from her.  He didn't want to look too closely at that.  Because if he did, he would regret it, and there were truths waiting that he couldn't afford to have exposed.  "He's an innocent that got swept up in a spell from a warlock.  This should have been taken care of a decade ago when it happened."  

"And I think anyone would agree that you have gone above and beyond to do what you can for him, Magnus," Catarina said.  She moved around the desk and reached out to touch her friend, sending a soothing pulse of magic through him.  "But I haven't seen you like this before - and I'm worried about what's going to happen to you if you can't cure him in some way."  

"Then I'll just have to make a cure," Magnus said, matter-of-fact, even though he knew how hopeless it was beginning to look.  Without some miracle solution presenting itself, the best possibility for them was going to be to find a way to make sure the waves didn't hurt Alec as much as they currently did.  

"Magnus," Catarina said.  "At least sleep before you go to see him?"  

Magnus shook his head, pulling a piece of parchment out from under a book.  He sent a quick message to Alec to let him know that he would be arriving soon and stood up.  "No.  I got enough sleep.  And now I'm going to go change and go to meet him."  

Catarina chewed on her lip and watched her friend stalk past her.  She looked back to the books and glanced down at it, and the notes that Magnus had made.  If there was a way to permanently separate out Alec’s blood, it would likely leave him forever changed.  She sighed and summoned a portal home.  Magnus wouldn’t be dissuaded from his course. 

Magnus took far too long deciding what he could wear to see Alec again, before he finally decided on a red (mixed with gold) tunic and leggings.  He didn't need complicated, he needed comfort and maybe he wouldn't feel like he was delivering a death sentence, even though it felt like it. 

Chapter Text

When he portaled into the room again, Magnus could see the evidence of another wave, the sheets stripped from the bed and torn, a notebook that had been left on the desk torn apart and shredded.  His heart broke for Alec, and he held out the coffee to him.  

Alec swallowed and reached out to take it, taking slow sips of the coffee, even as Magnus put the bag with the pastries down.  "Thanks," he managed, barely, sipping his coffee again.  

"You're welcome," Magnus said, just as quiet, going to sit on the edge of the bed.  "You need a desk in here."  

"I had one," Alec said, sitting beside him, though he put a few inches between them, so he wouldn't be uncomfortable.  "Right up until I destroyed it and used the splintered shards to hurt myself," he added, pointing to the pale white scars on his arms.  "I needed something to punch, and picked the table."  

Magnus' eyes fluttered shut and he bit down a noise of pain.  "Can you handle touch, Alexander?"  

Alec looked down at the coffee cup.  "You started calling me that yesterday, you know," he mentioned, off-hand, looking down at it before he drank more.  "I don't mind.  I like it," he added, swallowing hard.  "But, uh.  Yeah.  I can.  Not during a, one of the, the waves.  But now?  Yeah." 

Magnus held out his hand, palm up, between them.  It took a precious few seconds, but then Alec's hand was cupped in his and he blew out a hard breath, trying to gather his thoughts.  

"Let me guess," Alec whispered.  "You can't fix it."  

Magnus sighed and blew out a hard breath.  "There are three common levels of curses.  The first is a hex.  It's relatively simple, meant to be an inconvenience more than anything else.  Think of it like a kind of prank that warlocks can play on each other."  

Alec nodded.  "Right, makes sense."  

"I've been hexed to walk backwards," Magnus offered up as an example.  "For the better part of a week.  It was infuriating.  I spent a lot of that time leaning against walls."  

Alec cracked a smile, but nodded readily enough.  

"The next kind is a standard curse.  And this goes up to even stronger ones.  These are ones that are designed spells.  They have specific processes to them, and they often have counters, or counter-curses that can be cast," Magnus explained, blowing out a hard breath.  "Technically, no matter how difficult and complicated the curse, it can technically be unraveled as long as you can study it for long enough."  

"And the third kind?" Alec asked, his voice soft, tightening his hand around Magnus'.  "The one that's on me, I'm guessing."  

Magnus sighed and hung his head.  "Wild magic curses.  Extremely rare, extremely powerful, and almost impossible to remove without the original warlock who cast the spell."  

Alec slumped and then nodded.  "I expected as much," he whispered.  

"Wild magic is dangerous," Magnus explained.  "It's all emotion-driven.  And the thing is that emotion is not inherently dangerous.  But when emotion is given intent?   Then it becomes horrible, because the magic can twist that intent without a proper structure."  

Alec swallowed, his eyes clenched in pain.  "She wanted my parents to hurt, didn't she?"  

"She did," Magnus agreed.  "And she regrets, more than anything, that you were the one hit with the spell.  Because there's no way that she can undo it."  

Alec started to laugh, his shoulders hunched as he stared down at his lap, tugging his hand away from Magnus'.  "You know.  For a few hours there.  I'd started to believe.  That maybe there was something that had been missed.  That you could find something everyone else hadn't."  

"Alexander," Magnus started, watching him stand up.  "I know more about the curse on you than probably anyone else.  I can keep studying it, and we can try traditional curse-breaking techniques-" 

"And what good does that do, huh?" Alec asked, whirling on him, his eyes furious.  "That doesn't change anything.  That doesn't change the fact that even when I leave this room, every single shadowhunter can't look me in the eye because they know what my screams sound like!"  

"Alec," Magnus breathed, watching him pace across the room.  

Alec whirled on him, his eyes furious.  "Did Izzy tell you about this room?  That I'm only here because I put myself here?  That I'm technically confined to the Institute, not to this room?"  

Magnus' eyes widened and he stared.  "But you... you don't leave..."  

"Because the fifth or sixth time I broke down in Operations, when I came to again, sobbing, no one could look at me!" Alec shouted.  "Everyone doesn't care if I'm down here, locked away.  I can just..." he spun away from Magnus, his chest heaving, clenching his eyes shut.  "They can just forget about me, and it's for the damn best.  Everyone pretends that I don't have the ability to unlock the door if I wanted to, and I stay."  

"Alexander," Magnus whispered.  "You can't keep yourself caged in here.  You're going to kill yourself.  It's only a matter of time, humans aren't meant to be caged like this."  

Alec let out a slow breath and turned to look at Magnus.  "And wouldn't that be easier for everyone involved if I did?"  

Magnus jolted, his eyes wide with horror at the idea.  "No!  Of course not!"  

"Really?" Alec asked, suspicious.  "Izzy wouldn't spend every single spare second she has researching warlock curses, making friends in the Downworld, trying to find someone, anyone, who would listen long enough to help me."  He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes at Magnus.  "Hell, what did Jace promise you?  The entire Herondale fortune as payment, I'm sure, because he certainly doesn't give a shit about it!"  

Magnus wanted to laugh, because in the day and a half he had known Alec Lightwood, he had been quiet and subdued, a slave to the curse and the pain that was holding him hostage.  But like this, full of fury, his eyes blazing, he'd never seen Alec look more alive, and he was beautiful.   "I hardly need to bankrupt the Herondales to help someone.  Though, I might do it if it pissed Imogen off.  That'd be enjoyable on principle," Magnus said.  

"So now what?" Alec snarled.  "I'm your lab rat for the foreseeable future?  You run tests on me every single week and give me a dose of pity and platitudes about how you'll help me until it's no longer convenient for you?"  

"Is that what you want me to do?" Magnus asked, staring at Alec.  His chest was heaving and the tears leaking out of his eyes looked born of desperation.  "I could walk through a portal and never see you again.  Is that what you want, Alec?  I'll do that, if that's what you want."  

Alec closed his eyes and sagged, more tears starting to fall.  "Why did you have to be kind?” he whispered.  "Why did you have to make my tablet unbreakable, my floor warm, and my bed comfy?  Why did you want to help me?"  

Magnus swallowed.  "Are you so unused to kindness in your life that you have to ask me that question?"  

Alec scoffed and tossed his head.  "We had to orchestrate all of this while my parents were gone, because they were gone.  That doesn't answer your question?  They think I've done the noble thing, locking myself up in here.  Keeping away from anyone I could hurt."  

"Then let me take you away," Magnus said, taking a step towards him.  "I'll, we'll go anywhere in the world that you want to go.  Hell, we can go to multiple places, if you want.  I'll make sure you have a phone, you can contact Isabelle and Jace any time you want."  

Alec laughed again, harsh and grating.  "Why?  Why would you want to do that?  I assure you, I was removed from the Lightwood will a long time ago, there's nothing I can give you.  No gems, no riches for you."  

Magnus blinked, staring at Alec, an idea hitting him abruptly, a bolt of lightning straight through him.  "Gems," he breathed.  "Oh god.  Cleansing gems.  I didn't even..." his mind was racing and he looked at Alec, his eyes tracing over him.  "I have an idea," he breathed.  

Alec shook his head.  "No, Magnus, no more ideas.  I can't..." he clenched his eyes shut.  "I need to learn how to live with this-" 

"Listen to me," Magnus growled.  "I can't remove the curse.  I'm not trying to do that.  But I can create something to help absorb the pain!"  

Alec blinked at him, his eyes wary.  "You...can?" he asked, his voice tentative.  "Not like the potion?"  

"No, the potion didn't work, because only half of your blood is actually impacted by the curse," Magnus said with an impatient wave.  "Fuck, I need to go to my vault.  I'm going to need pure stones," he shook himself and focused on Alec.  "Listen to me, Alec.  I don't want you to be trapped here.  That's why.  You deserve more than this life you have constrained yourself to.  You might be a shadowhunter, but you are not just a shadowhunter, and there is no Clave law that says you have to lock yourself away like this."  

Alec took a deep breath and watched as Magnus stepped closer to him, trying to hold himself still.  "What if they don't work?" he whispered.  "I can't... the pain is eventually going to push me to a point I can't come back from, Magnus."  

Magnus reached out to take Alec's hands and waited for Alec to look at him before he let his glamour fall, looking at the shadowhunter.  "I know," he said, his voice soft.  "I know it is.  And I am going to do everything to make sure that doesn't happen to you, Alexander.  Up to and including sharing that pain."  

Alec's eyes widened and he yanked his hand back, shaking his head.  "No, no, I won't let you.  I won't, you can't do something like that, Magnus.  I won't have anyone else dealing with this."  

"Listen to me," Magnus growled.  "If you could halve your pain, would it be tolerable?  Would it still be horrible, but you'd be able to manage it?  Maybe even work in some fashion as a shadowhunter?"  

Alec bit down the instinctive response and forced himself to think about it.  "I couldn't do that to you."  

"It's an option," Magnus snarled.  "As are the damn gemstones.  Now, let me go get them and see if I can fashion them into something you won't despise wearing."  

Alec sat down on the side of the bed again, dropping his face into his hands, even as he nodded.  His shoulders were hunched and he tried to breathe into his hands, his whole body shaking.  He wanted to believe, he wanted so much to believe.  "Okay, Magnus."  

Magnus knelt in front of Alec and tugged his hands away from his face.  "Look at me, Alexander," he ordered, waiting until he did.  "I'm not going to abandon you.  I'm not.  Nor am I going to let you lock yourself away from the rest of the world for the remainder of your life."  

Alec's mouth went dry and his heart started to pound as Magnus stared at him.  He leaned down and pressed their foreheads together and exhaled shakily.  "Okay," he whispered.  "I'm, I'm sorry I yelled."  

"Does it help if I tell you you're hot when you get all worked up?" Magnus asked, grinning at him.  

Alec flushed and pulled himself back, glaring at Magnus.  "It absolutely does not.  Stop that."  

Magnus only kept grinning and winked at him as he stood up.  "On a slightly more serious note, it was nice to see you that passionate about anything, even if it was yelling at me."  

"It felt good to get angry again," Alec admitted.  "I've just become so used to the pain that it wasn't worth the energy.  I used to be angry all of the time."  

"Resignation is the death of us all," Magnus said, bouncing on his toes.  "Now, I'll be back in a few hours.  I'll fire message you when I'm on my way back, okay?"  

Alec nodded and smiled briefly.  "Sounds good."  

Magnus gave Alec another wave and stepped through a portal that he summoned a minute later.  Once he was back in the loft, he grabbed the ruby necklace off the desk that he'd gotten back from the shadowhunters and then portaled again, stepping into a Swiss bank for the first time in over three centuries.  Time to visit his vault.  

Chapter Text

Alec paced around the room several times, but the confining space that was normally comforting was feeling more and more restrictive by the moment.  He kept looking at the door.  There was nothing technically keeping him here.  He could open the door and walk out.  Alec strode to the door and stopped, breathing hard, reaching down to take the knob.  

He wrapped his hand around it and took another deep breath.  When was the last time that he'd undone the complicated lock himself?  Alec carefully undid the series of latches and codes and felt the latch to the door open.  He twisted the knob and pulled it open, exposing the hallway of the Institute's abandoned wing.  He couldn't help staring and debating slamming the door shut.  

Alec took a deep breath, and then another.  

'Nor am I going to let you lock yourself away from the rest of the world for the remainder of your life.'  

Magnus' voice echoed in his mind and Alec wanted to smile.  Even Isabelle, when he'd made the decision to do this, years ago, had tried to get him to see otherwise, but she'd also encouraged him to do what he needed to stay safe.  And his parents, well.  It had been good for them.  For his screams to be muffled behind a door.  

Alec took a step into the hallway, and then another.  It felt good in a way that he hadn't in years.

When he made it to the Head of the Institute's office, Alec knocked and waited for Jace to call him to come in, before he opened the door.  He stepped in and closed it behind him, staring at the other man, who had, for a short period of time, been his step brother. 

Jace stood up behind his desk, his eyes wide.  "Alec!  Are you all right?"  

Alec took a deep breath and leaned back against the door.  "The curse isn't curable.  It was powerful magic.  Magic that can't be undone."  

Jace sat down, staring at Alec, at the way he was shaking, even as he leaned against the door.  "What's wrong?  What are you doing-" 

"Do you remember the last time I walked to the training room at a normal hour, Jace?" Alec asked instead, staring at him.  "I know we work out, we train, enough to keep me in shape.  But when was the last time the rest of the Institute saw me?"  

"Alec, you were the one who said it was better this way," Jace pointed out.  "You're the one who thought it would be best to keep the curse away from everyone else because of how uncomfortable it made them."  

Alec laughed, clenching his eyes shut.  "And I was wrong.  I was so wrong, Jace.  I, fuck.  I wish one of you had stopped me, one of you had made me see what I was doing."  

Jace stared at him, pressing his lips together in a frown.  "Alec.  What are you doing?"  

"I'm not going to spend the rest of my life behind that door, Jace," Alec breathed, the words coming out of him in a rush.  "I came here to tell you that.  I don't.  I don't know what that means.  Or what I'm going to do, or how the hell I'm going to do it."  

Jace frowned, staring at him.  

"But I'm not going to live behind that door any longer," Alec said, lifting his chin.  "And I am going to tell that to Mom and Dad when they get back.  But I wanted you to know first."  

"Alec," Jace said, his face twisting.  "I don't think this is a good idea.  I really don't.  You have no idea when you're going to have another... another episode, and they're horrifying to watch-" 

Alec scowled.  "Try going through them.  Sometimes multiple times a day."  

Jace winced, holding up his hands.  "I'm not trying to pick a fight, Alec, I'm just saying that I don't know what you're going to do that doesn't have the possibility of getting you killed."  

"I'm looking into those with Magnus," Alec said with a firm nod.  "We'll figure out exactly what they are.  And hell, maybe it means not staying in New York.  I don't know.  I don't know, but for the first time in a goddamn decade, I am not afraid to leave my room, Jace."  He firmed up his shoulders.  "And I'm not going to give that up for anything."  

Jace snorted and shook his head.  "Fuck, I forgot how stubborn you can be.  You're ridiculous," he said, rolling his eyes.  "All right, fine, you're confined to Institute grounds for now, as per your original orders.  Now go tell Izzy about your newfound freedom so you don't give her a heart attack when she sees you." 

"She in her lab?" Alec asked, grinning.  

"Yes," Jace said, nodding.  He watched Alec nod and turn around, walking out the door, his head held high.  He sank back in his seat, shaking his head, a smile starting on his face.  Even if that warlock wasn't able to cure Alec, whatever the hell he'd done to help with his confidence...

Maybe they would get Alec back.  

~!~ 

The conversation with Izzy was a joy and a relief and Alec made it back to his room without an issue, barely managing to distract himself with reading before he was up and pacing again.  He wanted to hear from Magnus, he wanted a possible solution, but more than anything else, he wanted options.   

Alec abruptly sank down on the side of the bed, laughing hoarsely into his hands.  Magnus had pushed him, challenged him, and demanded better of him, and now he couldn't imagine taking any further steps without the warlock with him.  Even if the gems didn't work, and the other options didn't work, maybe he could find a way, some way, to take Magnus up on his offer.  

He wanted to see Spain again.  He hadn't been there since the summer when he turned eleven, just after his rune ceremony.  He wanted to travel.  Alec looked up at the window where the sun was hitting the stained glass.  He wanted to feel the sunlight on his face every single day.  He wanted somewhere where it was warm and he could go swimming, and see if he remembered how.  

Alec breathed out slowly and started to laugh again.  He wanted so many things now.  For the first time in years, he was allowing himself to think of a life outside the room, and he couldn't wait for it to begin.  

He didn't know how long it had been when Magnus stepped through a portal again, but Alec jumped up, his heart pounding eagerly in his chest at the sight of the warlock.  "I want to see Spain again!" he announced, grinning at Magnus.  

Magnus blinked and smiled at Alexander.  "Spain is lovely.  Though a bit hot this time of year.  Italy is nice, and there's plenty of ocean to enjoy."  

"I want to go," Alec said, staring at Magnus, swallowing hard.  "I, I don't care if this works or not, Magnus.  I don't care what my parents say.  I want to see Italy.  I've never been.  I want to visit Japan, I've always wanted to go."  

Magnus stared at Alec, at the blind excitement on his face, that was so catching and so beautiful he couldn't help but be caught up in how gorgeous Alec looked.  He cleared his throat and smiled.  "Well, I won't say that I own several properties in Italy that you are, of course, welcome to visit," he started with a wink.  "But I do."  

Alec swallowed and nodded, staring Magnus down before he took another deep breath.  "I just, I thought about what you said.  About not staying in this room forever.  And you're right.  That's the last thing I want.  I've, I've been so worried about how everyone else feels about what happens to me that I forgot that I was still allowed to live despite it and-" his grin fell off his face and he dropped a hand to his stomach.  

An uncomfortable feeling swept over him and he lifted his eyes to Magnus before he clenched his eyes shut.  "Lock the door," he ordered, the enthusiasm disappearing from his voice.  

Magnus flicked his hand, sealing the door and he moved quickly.  "You said your warnings were thirty seconds, right?"  

Alec nodded, one quick, tight motion, flinching as Magnus stepped in closer.  "Yeah."  

"Hold on," Magnus ordered him, looping the omamori charm around Alec's wrist, the chain wrapping around three times before hanging easily.  He watched it start to glow and dug into his pocket, pulling out the necklace.  "Quickest way to make this work," he added, draping the necklace over Alec's neck, staring as all the stones started to glow as well.  

Alec breathed in deep, feeling the pain start to well up.  He curled up and sat down on his bed, panting hard, his whole body aching in pain.  But it was muted.  He didn't feel the need to scream or shout, and he'd definitely had worse injuries that hurt more in training.  He shifted onto his side on the bed and grabbed a pillow, curling around it, breathing hard.  

"Alec," Magnus asked, watching him carefully from the edge of the bed.  Alec was panting hard, but he wasn't screaming, not yet.  And compared to the other wave he'd witnessed, this was a much tamer version.  "Alec, can you hear me?"  

Alec managed a nod, Magnus' voice breaking through the fog.  He could still hear things that were happening around him.  He swallowed hard and opened his eyes to look at Magnus.  He nodded again, reaching up to clench his hand around the necklace he was now wearing.  The pain receded another notch.  

"Alexander," Magnus whispered.  "Can you tell me if the pain is less than it was last time?"  

Alec managed several very frantic nods, even as he stayed curled tight around the pillow.  He reached out with his free hand across the bed to where Magnus was now sitting and sighed in relief when Magnus' hand took his.  He squeezed it and focused on breathing through the tremors.  By the time the wave started to fade away, he was sore and his body was aching, but he didn't feel like he usually did after a wave.  

"Magnus?" Alec whispered, opening his eyes to look at him.  They were still holding hands, but it felt so good to have their fingers tangled together.  "Is it, is it over?"  

"I think it is," Magnus said, his voice soft.  "Are you okay?"  

Alec blew out a hard breath and started to laugh.  "Magnus.  That was amazing." 

Magnus wanted to laugh, but he needed to figure out what the hell Alec meant by that.  "You were still in pain," he pointed out.  

"Yeah," Alec agreed, swallowing hard, slowly unwinding from the pillow.  "But, but I didn't scream once.  I didn't blackout and forget everything.  It, it hurt, for sure.  But I was okay.  And it was shorter."  

Magnus swallowed and stared at Alec with wide eyes.  "So they worked?"  

Alec reached up and touched the necklace and looked at the charm on his wrist, his eyes widening as well, as he stared back at Magnus.  "I, I think they did."  

Magnus sagged in relief, a slightly hysterical laugh escaping him as he tipped sideways into the pile of pillows he'd summoned for Alec's bed.  He looked at the shadowhunter across from him, still holding onto his hand and smiled.  "I'm so glad," he whispered.  "I'm sorry I couldn't cure you."  

"Magnus," Alec whispered.  "You gave me my life back.  That's, that's everything."  

Magnus' smile was tired and exhausted and he sagged into the pillows.  "Good," he whispered, his breathing already starting to even out.  He was so tired and forming the stones had been exhausting and now he just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep for several hours so he didn't need to think about anything else.   

Alec wanted to take his hand back, but he was still tired after the wave, and taking a nap felt like an amazing idea.  "Magnus," he whispered, smiling when one sleepy golden eye opened to look at him.  "Can you snap yourself into sleepwear?  You'll be more comfortable."  

Magnus grunted in acknowledgment and managed that, also pulling the covers up over both of them, scooting in closer to Alec, not letting go of the hand that he'd claimed for his own.  "Thanks," he muttered.  "Sleep?"  

Alec yawned and closed his eyes, smiling at the sight of Magnus relaxing into the pillows on his bed.  His stomach twisted.  He liked the sight more than he should have admitted.  But Magnus was just trying to help him out.  Magnus, he, he didn't think of him like that.  He never had.  

Alec breathed out slowly and let himself relax as he fell into sleep, not long after Magnus. 

~!~ 

Magnus woke up, tired, groggy, but so comfortable he never wanted to move again.  There was a strong pair of arms around him, a head was happily nestled into his neck and he was warm.   He hummed happily and trailed his fingers up and down the back of the person in his arms until he remembered exactly who he had fallen into bed with.  His eyes widened and he pulled back to stare at Alexander Lightwood, who made a pout in his sleep when he pulled away.  

Magnus brushed some of his hair off of his face and smiled at him, his heart melting at the sight.  No matter what Catarina thought of him, at least a little bit of his determination was rooted in the fact that he didn't want a shadowhunter as beautiful as Alec Lightwood to lock himself up in the Institute never to be seen again.  And maybe he wanted a chance to see Alec again when he wasn't devastated and in pain.  Maybe he wanted to see him laughing more, smiling more, and just happier.   

Maybe his heart was already far, far, far more invested than it should have been.  But he wasn't about to stop things now.  Not when Alec might finally have a chance at controlling what he had been cursed with and going out to live his life.  Magnus stretched under the comfy sheets and nestled back into Alec's arms with a hum.  And maybe, he could indulge himself in how good Alec felt wrapped around him and how warm he was.  

After all, it wasn't like he would ever get another chance like this.  Alec only saw him as someone who could potentially cure him, or help him.  Magnus exhaled slowly and pressed his nose to Alec's hair as the shadowhunter nuzzled his neck and smiled faintly.  Getting used to this was a horrible idea.  It would never happen again.  

Chapter Text

Alec was dreaming.  

He had to be.  

Because here, curled up in his bed, with Magnus?  

That was impossible.  It could never happen.  Magnus was just... exhausted.  Must have passed out.  And here he was, being stupidly and impossibly clingy, holding onto the warlock like he had some right to do so.  Alec winced and went to remove his hands from around Magnus, but then the warlock made another decidedly grumpy noise and pressed in closer to him.  

Alec swallowed and closed his eyes, taking another slow inhale of the sandalwood scent that seemed to always cling to Magnus.  It relaxed him in a way that nothing else did.  Rather like Magnus, in fact.  He blew out a hard breath and ordered himself to be an adult about this.  He pulled his arm back from Magnus and sat up in the bed.  He flushed and rubbed at his face before standing.  He needed to take a shower.  

Magnus woke to the sound of water.  He blinked slowly, sleepily, and realized that he was alone in the bed.  He sighed and pressed his face into Alec's pillow where the indent of the shadowhunter still was.  After a moment of humming consideration, he wrapped his arms around the pillow and pulled it close.  There.   That felt better.  

When the water turned off not long afterward, Magnus narrowed his eyes on the other side of the room and watched as a recessed door he hadn't noticed before slid open, and blinked, surprised.  Even more so by the sight of Alec Lightwood in nothing more than a towel.  His mouth went dry and he resisted the urge to groan.  

Locked up in his room he might be, and he was lacking the pronounced muscles that would have indicated active shadowhunter duties, but Alec Lightwood was lean muscle and toned body, and he was beautiful.   Magnus wanted to lick up every droplet of water he could see running down Alec's abs and run his fingers through that chest hair.  He wanted Alec, wanted to pull him into kisses, and back into bed for more.  He wanted slow, teasing kisses, hard and desperate ones, and maybe even soft ones that were a hello as much as anything else.  

Alec walked back into his field of vision a few seconds later and Magnus noted the omamori tied around his wrist and the gems dangling around his neck.  He smiled, pleased.  They might not have been able to find the cure, but he had found something that, at least, worked.  

"I know you're awake," Alec called.  "Your breathing patterns changed."  

"That's just creepy," Magnus grumbled.  He snapped his fingers subtly under the blankets, fixing and lightening his makeup until it was at least some form of presentable before he rolled out of the warm bed.  He stood up with a stretch and focused for a few seconds before twisting his hands so coffee appeared in them.  

"Coffee?" he offered Alec one of the cups before he settled down in one of the chairs bolted to the floor.  

Alec took the cup from him and took a sip, humming happily, before taking another.  "I don't have much in the way of breakfast food.  But I have some yogurts and granola if that is something that you might be interested in."  

Magnus nodded.  "That sounds great, thank you."  Once they were both digging into a light breakfast a few minutes later, he broached the subject of what they were going to do next.  

"I don't know," Alec admitted, clearing his throat.  "As much as I would love to say that tomorrow I am going to stride out of this Institute and announce to my mother that I am going to travel around the world with you, there are some ah, logistical concerns with that."  

"Just a few," Magnus agreed with a huff.  He leaned back in his chair and licked his spoon clean, considering it.  "Would your parents be opposed to you leaving at all?"  

Alec huffed and sighed, before nodding.  "Yes.  I think any potential public exposure of me and my condition, no matter how under control we get it, is a potential for family embarrassment that they want to try to avoid."  

Magnus frowned deeply and shook his head.  "I can't see how they could stop you.  You're of age.  Yes, you're technically confined to the Institute, but, it's on the grounds of your own safety."  He blew out a hard breath and looked up at the ceiling, considering it.  "I haven't seen one of your violent episodes, but if they're like the others, I'm sure we can just find a spot for you to go to, or create a room and figure out a way to portal you there, or something."  

Alec flinched and looked away from Magnus.  "I hope you never have to see one of those.  Thankfully, they're, they're less often.  They happen maybe one out of every ten.  But I don't like the idea of hurting you."  

Magnus turned sad eyes to Alec and offered him a smile.  "I'd rather face the potential of you hurting me, when I can heal us both afterward than leave you alone during one of those episodes."  

Alec bit down the now-instinctive urge to ask why.  Why did Magnus want to do all of these amazing things for him, seemingly without any kind of payment or recompense?  He looked down at the table.  "You don't have to.  I know the, the pain ones, are disturbing."  

"They hurt to watch," Magnus agreed, watching Alec flinch again.  "But not because you're disturbing, Alexander."  When Alec's eyes met his, confused, Magnus smiled sadly and continued.  "They hurt to watch because someone is in pain and there is nothing you can do to fix it.  I'm one of the most powerful warlocks on this coast, Alec, and all of my power is useless to you."  

Alec swallowed and looked down at his coffee, nodding.  "I guess that makes sense.  Izzy told me something similar.  That, that it hurt her to watch the episodes because she couldn't help."  

"Are you due for one of the more violent ones?" Magnus asked, trying to keep his voice gentle.  "We maybe need to figure out a way to make sure you don't take the charm and the necklace off if you are."  

"Fuck, I didn't even think of that," Alec said, looking at the charm hanging from his wrist and the necklace around his neck.  He pressed his hand to his face and closed his eyes, counting quickly.  "Yeah.  It's likely I'll have one coming up soon enough."  He glanced at the bed and the rest of the room.  

Magnus tapped his fingers idly on the cup of coffee.  "What do you remember about them, Alexander?  The violent episodes.  Is it the urge to hurt, or is it being hurt?"  

Alec sighed again.  "It's like I told you the first day.  I remember the feeling of my bones being broken.  Of fighting until I couldn't fight anymore.  Of being hurt, again and again."  

Magnus gave a small nod.  "I'm sorry that you're suffering through this.  I wish that there was more that I knew to do to help you."  

"After everything you've done for me already..." Alec looked up at Magnus, offering him a hesitant smile.  "As it is, I don't think all the fortune the Lightwoods and Herondales have access to is going to be enough to pay you for what you've done to help me."

Magnus bit down the urge to tell Alec that he didn't need to pay for it, because he would have done anything to help and protect Alexander.  He exhaled hard and looked at Alec again.  "That's what favors are for," he said.  "Don't worry too much about payment.  We can settle that.  Right now, we need to figure out what the permanent solutions for you are."  

Alec nodded and sagged back in the chair.  "Which brings us back to the problem that my parents aren't going to let me leave.  And even if they do, which we both know is very unlikely, they'll want it to be to their rules."  

"And if you simply run away, you could be declared a traitor to the Clave," Magnus continued, blowing out a hard breath.  "Fuck this is a mess.  If only you could just..." he paused.  

"Magnus?" Alec asked, looking over at him.  "What is it?"  

Magnus lifted his eyes to Alec and finished his thought.  "What if you could just announce that you were coming with me to try to find a cure for the curse?"  

Alec blinked, staring at him.  "To, to my parents?"  

"No!" Magnus said, his excitement growing, as he shifted to face Alec properly.  "The rest of the Institute.  Jace and Isabelle will need to help.  But if you were to have conversations that are easily overheard, with them, say in Ops, that you've found a way to wear down the curse, but you want to look for a cure..."  

Alec caught on immediately, a grin growing on his face.  "And that you've been paid handsomely to help me look for one..." 

Magnus nodded.  "Exactly.  No one would question it.  Hell, even if your parents started asking where you were, everyone would be surprised they didn't know, because it would be treated as a matter of fact.  You're looking for a cure to a curse."  

Alec grinned, his eyes bright.  "That could work," he agreed, nodding again.  "That would also ensure the Clave didn't think I'd deserted.  I'm simply searching for a cure so I can get back to active shadowhunting duties."  

Magnus shared Alec's bright grin.  "And whether that's the truth or not, the Clave certainly doesn't need to know," he agreed, biting down on his lip, resisting the urge to bounce excitedly.  "Alexander, this just might work," Magnus breathed, staring at him.  

"I think it might," Alec said, nodding again.  "I really do think it might."  

Magnus bit down on his lip as another thought occurred.  "Now here's the question."  

Alec turned to look at him.  "What?  Is something else wrong?"  

"No, of course not," Magnus said, shaking his head.  "Nothing is wrong, Alec.  But do you actually want to travel with me?  I, obviously I know the most about your situation and will help you in any way that you can but-" 

"Of course I do," Alec interrupted, smiling again when Magnus' eyes snapped to him, golden and surprised.  "Of course I want to travel with you, Magnus.  You've, you've been around the world.  What better person to teach me everything there is to know?"  

Magnus started to laugh, hanging his head before he nodded.  His heart ached at the idea of traveling the world with Alec, nothing more than friends, but showing him everything that there was it could offer.  "That sounds great," he agreed.  He looked up at Alec.  "We need to loop your siblings into this plan.  And you need to start walking around the Institute more."  

Alec nodded again.  "You're right," he agreed, closing his eyes.  "And maybe we could go somewhere quiet for the first week until the violent episode passes?"  

Magnus nodded back at him.  "Of course, Alexander.  Whatever you want, I'll do everything in my power to make it happen.  While you're having conversations with your siblings, why don't you give me a list of places you want to visit and I'll start setting things up for us."  

"The list I gave you before isn't enough?" Alec teased.  "Spain and Italy and Japan?"  

Magnus shrugged.  "Maybe for the first week or two.  But we can travel for as long as you want."  

Alec's face fell, even as they both stood up.  "Magnus, how am I ever going to be able to pay you for all of this?  As much as I would love to say I can afford to travel around the world, and I probably can, this is...much more than that."  

Magnus fell quiet and looked down at the floor and looked back up at Alec.  "I suppose you wouldn't believe me if I said that the pleasure of your company was more than enough?" 

"Not in the slightest," Alec said, shaking his head.  

"All right," Magnus allowed, taking a deep breath.  "How about this then?"  

Alec raised his eyebrows.  

"It's very easy," Magnus started.  "Especially when you're hundreds of years old, to become jaded.  For everything to look the same, and to find it difficult to find joy in things, even in what you know you love and enjoy."  

Alec's face lost the thread of amusement and he stared at Magnus in confusion, waiting for him to finish where he was going with that thought.  He nodded and reached out to take Magnus' hand, encouraging him to continue.  

"I think," Magnus started, clearing his throat a little.  "I think I'd like to relearn some of the places I loved through your eyes, Alec.  Refind the joy in them.  It's often said that you can find new joy in watching others enjoy what you once did.  I'd like to try that, with you.  And that would be my payment."  

"Is," Alec looked down at their hands and squeezed Magnus' fingers, gently, running his thumb over one of the larger rings he was wearing.  "Is that enough, for you, Magnus?  Would that be enough?  What if I hate some of the things that you love?"  

Magnus laughed a little.  "Then we find things that you love, and I see them through new eyes, or I tell you why I love them and you learn more about me!"  

"That doesn't sound too bad," Alec agreed, biting down on his lip.  "But what about what you're doing right now.  You're the High Warlock of Brooklyn.  You can't just, abandon your people and-" 

"No," Magnus agreed, his face growing solemn.  "I can't abandon my people, and my post.  But, I am, believe it or not, allowed to take vacations.  I can take a couple of months and assign someone temporarily into my position while I travel with you." 

"A few months," Alec breathed, wanting to laugh.  A couple of months to travel the world.  It would never be enough time.  But then when he was done, he would come back and...  

Magnus caught on to where his thoughts were going immediately.  "And after that time is over, we start to discuss different options," he informed Alec.  "None of which involve you shutting yourself away into a tiny room at the Institute again."  

Alec's lips twitched into a smile.  "Agreed, there.  None of the options will be that."  He took a deep breath.  "I don't know what'll happen afterward, but I want that chance.  I want this, everything about it."  

Magnus' heart gave a painful squeeze, and he looked up at Alec.  "I am going to keep looking for a cure, Alec.  There's a great deal of magic that is not black and white, and sometimes cures are as simple as they are complicated."  

Alec sighed, and nodded, reaching up to touch the necklace that he was wearing.  "But it'll be better to accept that this might be my new normal."  

"I don't want you to have to accept that as your normal," Magnus said, looking up at him.  "That's why I'm going to keep looking.  As far and as wide as I can while we travel.  I already have notes out to the Seelie and Unseelie court, and while I've made my fair share of enemies in the vampire world, I've also made friends."  

Alec stared at Magnus with wide eyes.  "You, you have?"  

Magnus nodded.  "I've even contacted some of the oldest warlocks I know, some of them well over a thousand years old.  And while they might not know how to cure you, Alec, their knowledge of magic is often unparalleled."  

Alec shook his head.  "I'm not worth all of this, Magnus.  I, there's no reason for you to do all of this for a, for a broken shadowhunter."  

"You aren't broken," Magnus said, his voice vehement.  "You aren't and never have been broken.  Not by this, not by the treatment of your parents, or what you have done to yourself in isolating here.  No part of you is broken, Alexander."  

His heart was pounding as he stared at Magnus with wide eyes, the truth of those statements echoing in his bones.  His hands shook and he gave a small nod.  "Thank, thank you."  

Magnus nodded.  "You are, were, cursed, Alexander.  What's more, you were cursed saving family members.  There is no one in the Downworld that would ever judge you for a sacrifice like that.  On top of that, you were a child,” he added.  "Whatever your people think about what happened to you, I can assure you, that the downworld would only consider you a hero."  

Alec clenched his eyes shut, breathing hard through his nose as he tried to nod, before opening his eyes to look at Magnus again.  "Thank you," he said again, his voice hoarse.  "I, I don't want pity."  

"You don't have my pity," Magnus said, reaching out to cup Alec's chin in his palm, making Alexander look at him.  "You have my compassion and my desire to help, Alec.  That is what you have from everyone.  And we are going to find a way to help you."  

"You..." Alec trailed off, a flush gathering on his cheeks as he stared at Magnus.  "You make me want to believe that that is actually possible."  

Magnus smiled and winked at him.  "In a world of demons, warlocks, nephilim, vampires, and werewolves, Alexander, who is to say what is and is not possible?"  

Alec laughed, the sound bursting from him unexpectedly, even as he leaned in to press his forehead against Magnus' for a long moment.  He reached out and drew Magnus into his arms for a hug, hiding his face against Magnus' neck, another shaky inhale making him blink hard to keep the tears back.  "Thank you," he whispered.  "Thank you, Magnus.  I, I won't ever be able to say it enough, but thank you for caring enough to do, even a fraction of all of this."  

Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec and held on tight, even as the shadowhunter sagged against him.  He held onto Alec, rubbing at his back gently, until he knew they both needed to get moving on their respective plans.  With another quick squeeze, he pulled back, resisting the urge to throw himself back into Alec's arms.  He cleared his throat and lifted Alec's chin to meet his eyes again.  "Now, you're off to speak to Isabelle and Jace, and I'm off to make my own plans.  Yes?"  

Alec nodded firmly.  "Yes."  

"All right," Magnus said, grinning at him.  "I'll meet you back here later tonight.  I'll send you a fire message?"  

"That'd be good," Alec said, blowing out a hard breath.  "I'm going to see if Izzy or Jace can get me a cell phone.  The fire messages work, but I don't want to leave any evidence if I don't have to that you're visiting me."  

Magnus nodded.  "That's wise," he agreed.  He took a step back and summoned a portal for himself and winked at Alec.  "Until tonight, Alexander."  

Alec watched Magnus step through the portal, his heart pounding hard.  He slumped into one of his chairs and bit down on his lip.  He wanted to wrap Magnus up in his arms again, maybe even press kisses to his neck.  This was going to be horrible.  Or amazing.  Or maybe both.  

But either way, he needed to talk to his siblings and get them in on the plan for what he and Magnus wanted to do.  His mother would be home soon and he would need to have everything in place before then.  Alec turned to the door and unlocked it, much easier this time, and stepped out into the hallway, giving a nod to the shadowhunters who looked at him in surprise.  

Chapter Text

Alec had expected some resistance to his plan (well, his and Magnus' plan), but both of his siblings were staring at him in the Head's office, scowls on their faces.  

"Alec, you have to understand-" 

Alec shook his head and looked to Izzy, but her expression was just as hard, and he could see the worry in her face.  "Izzy, Jace, please.  I need your help to be able to do this."  

Isabelle sighed and uncrossed her arms.  "Alec, as grateful as I am that Magnus found something that can dampen the pain for you, traveling around the world with a warlock you don't know is a horrible idea."  

"And staying locked up in my room for the remainder of my life isn't?" Alec snapped, glaring at her.  He watched her flinch and turned to look at Jace.  "Or, if I'm lucky, locked in the Institute?  Glad when I get the chance to see the both of you a couple of times a week?"  

Jace looked steadily at him and frowned.  "Alec, you said yourself that there might be no cure.  There's nothing for the two of you to find.  And even if you go on this grand tour and come back, what happens then?"  

Alec shrugged.  "I'll worry about that when we get back.  But I need this chance.  I need the chance to get out and do something else.  To live some of my life!"  

"Alec," Izzy started.  "Magnus has...something of a reputation.  He could be taking advantage of you."  

That thought had occurred.  More than once.  On the other hand, he wasn't sure that he would actually mind if Magnus did decide to take advantage of him.  Alec had a feeling that he would like it much more than he was supposed to.  "May I remind the two of you that I'm a shadowhunter, curse or not, and I was trained as one, and I can regularly knock the both of you down when sparring?"  

"And he has magic," Isabelle snapped.  "How do you know he hasn't used that magic on you-" 

"Because he can't.  Anytime any magic is used on me, I have one of my waves, Izzy.  I've known this for years now, ever since Mom and Dad paraded that first group of warlocks in to try to treat me," Alec snapped back at her, crossing his arms over his chest, before looking back to Jace.  

"Alec," Jace said, sighing.  "Listen.  I get it.  I get the urge to go and chase this, whatever it is.  You know I went through the same thing when I came to live with you."  

Alec knew all too well, and he stared at Jace, waiting for him to continue.  

"But to allow something like this?  I can't do it.  You'd be defenseless, relying on him for everything," Jace continued, shaking his head.  "What if he tires of taking you around the world and decides to abandon you somewhere?  You'd have no way of contacting us, and-" 

Alec stared between the two of them and took a step back.  "You're not going to let me go, are you?" he realized, watching both of them share a look.  

Isabelle sighed.  "Alec, you just found a way to dampen the pain of the attacks you go through.  Going galavanting off on an adventure like that is the last thing you should be doing."  She bit down on her lip and took a step towards him.  "Alec, you know I would do anything to help you, anything.  Just like you would do for me.  But I don't think that this is... is right for you."  

"Alec, you are welcome to travel the Institute's grounds as you like.  If the necklace really is dampening the effects of the curse that is on you, I am more thrilled for you than I can say," Jace continued, watching him.  "But that doesn't change the fact that you are a shadowhunter, and shadowhunters have laws that we adhere to."  

Alec straightened his spine, narrowing his eyes at Jace.  "May I remind you, Jace, I know the law better than either of you.  I have plenty of time to read, after all."  

Jace sighed and pressed his fingers to his temple.  "Alec you know that isn't what I meant-" 

"Fine," Alec growled, glaring at the both of them.  His fingers itched to hold a bow and to hurt.   "If either of you tells Maryse and Robert about this, I will walk out that front door and never come back."   

Isabelle's eyes went wide and desperate.  "Alec, Alec you can't do that.  Please, don't do that," she said, stepping in close to him.  "I just, I just want you to be safe, and you've been safe, haven't you?  Here?"  

Alec sighed and turned away from her, looking back over his shoulder at Jace.  "I'll be in the training rooms or my room if anyone needs me, not that any of you ever do," he growled, turning to leave the office.  

His thoughts were wild and scattered and Alec barely made it through the Institute and to the training rooms to grab his bow before making his way to the roof.  He just needed to shoot for a few hours, clear his head, and come up with another plan before Magnus returned.  That was all he needed to do.  Then, when Magnus got here, they'd have an option and could do exactly what he had planned.  

When Alec fired the first arrow, the string stinging against his forearm without a glove, he relaxed and drew another, firing it just as easily as the first.  With every stinging sensation and ache of his fingers, the tumult in his mind began to quiet.  Just a few hours and he would be all right, he could return to his room and meet Magnus.  They would figure something out.  They would.  

~!~ 

Magnus stepped through the portal into Alec's room and blinked in surprise when the lights flickered on at his presence.  There was no immediate sign of Alec and he hummed, sitting down at one of the chairs at the table.  He must still be having conversations with his siblings.  

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Magnus fiddled with it for a few minutes before he frowned, looking at the darkness outside through the window.  Something didn't feel right.  

Quietly, carefully, he cast a spell to find Alec in the Institute.  There was no sign of him, however, and fear gripped Magnus' heart.  Had something happened?  Had Alec been transferred?  Or moved?  Or locked up in some way?  Magnus stretched his hands further, expanding the reach of his magic and sagged in relief when he felt Alec's presence on the roof.  He breathed out and summoned another portal, stepping out onto the roof of the Institute.  

Alec was alone, and Magnus took the moment to admire him as he drew an arrow and fired, hitting the bullseye more than twenty yards away from him on the other end of the roof.  The anguish in his face was easy to see, and Magnus swallowed, approaching him slowly.  Whatever had happened with his siblings had clearly not gone according to plan if Alexander was up here like this.  

"Alexander?" Magnus called, trying to announce his presence in a way that wouldn't startle him.  

Alec drew another arrow and breathed out slowly.  "They don't want me to go," he said, releasing the arrow, watching it fly.  It sank into the target and he lowered his arms, turning to look at the warlock.  "Neither of them want me to go.  They think that you're, you're trying to take advantage of me."  

Magnus scowled and stepped closer to Alec, reaching out to touch his arm.  Now that he was here, he could smell the tang of blood in the air and that could only be coming from Alexander. 

"It's like they were so desperate to cure me," Alec said, tightening his hand on the bow, a low growl echoing in his throat.  "That now they know I can't be, they just want me to go back to how I was!  Like that is good enough!"  

Magnus' heart ached and he looked at the wound.  He summoned bandages to his fingers and carefully dabbed away the blood from Alec's arm before wrapping it carefully in gauze.  "They're afraid for you.  I think some of that is normal, with you having struggled with this alone for so long."  

"That doesn't mean-" 

"I know," Magnus interrupted, cutting off some of Alec's anger as he tapped the gauze into place, looking up at him.  "I know it doesn't.  It doesn't mean they have any right to deny you what you want to do and how to do it.  It doesn't mean they have any right to control you."  

Alec's face crumpled and he sighed.  "I just...I just want..."  

Magnus gave him a small smile, reaching out to comb his fingers through Alec's hair, brushing it out of his face.  "You just want a chance to live your life.  I understand, as I told you, Alexander."  

"Why do you get it and they don't?" Alec mumbled, swaying in closer to Magnus, wanting to be wrapped up in his arms again.  "Why don't they understand?"  

Magnus hummed and considered that.  "They've had to protect you for so long, they want to keep doing so.  But I think you've not been in a position to push back at them and tell them what you need for a long time."  

Alec exhaled shakily.  "You gave me that back, you know," he whispered.  

Magnus swallowed, blinking hard, even as he repeated the gentle touch to Alec's hair.  "I am honored that I was able to help," Magnus said, smiling at Alec.  "I want to continue to help."  

Alec nodded again and looked down at him and he huffed out a laugh.  "We might have to go with your original plan."  

Magnus raised both of his eyebrows.  "My original plan?"  

"Yeah.  Rescuing the prince from the tower and whisking him far, far away?" Alec teased.  

Magnus started to laugh, shaking his head.  "As much as I would enjoy that, I don't think that's a good idea, Alexander.  We hardly want the Clave dogging our every step."  

Alec swallowed and nodded, his shoulders slumping.  "I don't know what to do, Magnus."  

Magnus looked up at him and gave him a faint smile.  "Fake your death?"  

Alec snorted.  "Yes, because the timing of that wouldn't look suspicious at all." 

"Fair enough," Magnus agreed.  "We'll think of something."  

Alec sagged in and against Magnus a little more, shifting to rest his head on Magnus' shoulder.  "Can I just stay here, for a second?  Please?"  

"Of course," Magnus said, reaching up to comb his fingers through Alec's hair again.  "We can stay here as long as you like, Alexander."  

Alec nodded and let himself draw strength from the calm of Magnus' presence.  True to his word, they didn't move until Alec's neck was aching from the position, and even then, it was only to return to his room where they could stretch out on the bed together.  

"My parents come back tomorrow," Alec whispered, staring at Magnus.  

"They do," Magnus agreed.  "That will make it very difficult for me to be able to do anything.  I'll obviously try my best, but they'll be watching you as closely as they can."  

Alec nodded and bit down on his lip, making a decision.  He rolled out of bed and stood up.  "Can, can you summon a duffel bag, Magnus?" he asked, striding towards the locked cabinet.  

Magnus blinked but did as he was asked, watching as Alec unlocked the cabinet.  "What are you doing?"  

"Making the right choice," Alec said.  "I'm a Lightwood.  We break noses and accept the consequences," he growled, throwing his clothes into his arms before shoving them into the bag.  Next went his tablet.  Then his toiletries from the bathroom.  Then a few snacks before he turned to Magnus.  

"Alec?" Magnus asked when Alec zipped up the duffel bag.  "They're going to know that I helped you."  

Alec turned to look at him and smirked, shaking his head.  "No, they aren't.  Not if I walk right out the front door."  

Magnus blinked and stared at him, his breath catching.  "Alec, you'll be charged with-" 

"I don't have any duty.  I am not an active duty shadowhunter and I am not on any injury list.  I've looked," Alec said, clearing his throat.  "You can't abandon your post if you don't have a post to begin with."  

Magnus closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  The bravery Alec was showing was extraordinary and he opened his eyes, smiling at him.  "So we're going?"  

Alec gave another firm nod.  "We're going, Magnus.  And no one is going to stop me."  

Magnus shook his head and dusted himself off.  He smiled and met Alec's eyes.  "You're the bravest person I've ever met in my life, Alexander Lightwood."  

Alec flushed and shook his head.  "No, no, not at all.  I'm just..." he looked to the window on the wall and then back to Magnus.  "I want to live my life, Magnus.  And, and you've offered to help me do that."  

"I'll help you for as long as you need it," Magnus said quietly.  "Do you want me to take the bag?"  

Alec shook his head again.  "No.  It needs to look like I left under my own volition.  Can you change the mattress and the sheets back?"  

With a snap of his fingers, they were restored to their former uncomfortable state and Magnus looked at the shadowhunter in front of him, his shoulders heaving.  "What else do you need?"  

"Izzy and Jace are probably still arguing in his office.  If I go now, I should be able to go to the weapons room, get my bow, arrows, and a stele without anyone thinking it odd," Alec said, his mouth dry.  "The Clave might try to come after me for those, but if it's needed, then I'll just send them back."  

Magnus nodded with a smile.  "All right.  Do you want me to wait for you outside?"  

Alec blew out a hard breath.  "I'll meet you six blocks down.  Towards, fuck, no, opposite direction.  If I head to Brooklyn they'll think I'm going to you."  

"Good," Magnus agreed.  "We'll go to my London home first.  I have an old friend in the outskirts of the city I want you to meet, regardless."  

Alec smiled and nodded, lifting the bag over his shoulder, looking around the room again.  "It feels weird to be leaving," he admitted.  He looked at the door of the room.  "I know, I know there's nothing stopping me but walking through the door, but..."  

Magnus reached out and took Alec's hand, giving it a slow squeeze when the shadowhunter's eyes turned to him.  "It's time to start living your life, Alexander.  I'm going to hold your hand for as much of it as you allow," he reiterated quietly.  "Now, come on.  Get going."  

Alec gave Magnus a small wave and turned towards the door, straightening his shoulders before he unlocked it and strode out.  

Magnus looked around the room and took a second to erase any piece of his presence from the space before he summoned a portal and stepped through it and into an alley by the road Alec had indicated.  It would likely take Alec at least fifteen to twenty minutes to reach him if he got out of the Institute without issue.  

He blew out a hard breath and looked up at the stars, tightening his hands on his arms.  Magnus knew, damn well, that he had to let Alec do this himself.  That he couldn't do it for the shadowhunter.  But even still, he couldn't resist the urge to portal straight into the Institute and try to make sure that Alec was able to escape.  

But he needed to do this on his own.  Alec needed to be strong enough to take the first step towards his future.  Magnus took another deep breath and exhaled, sending a quick text to Catarina with an update before the sound of his name was shouted across the street.  

Magnus looked up and caught sight of Alec, bow, and quiver around his shoulder, duffel bag on his side, and a wide grin on his face.  His breath caught.  He'd never seen Alexander look so beautiful in the few days they had known each other.  He was free.   He'd made it out.  

Chapter Text

Alec stopped in front of Magnus, where he was leaning casually against the brick wall of a building, a wide grin on his face.  "No one stopped me," he whispered.  "Not a single person stopped me, Magnus.  None of them even flinched.   They just let me take things and I left."  

Magnus wanted to cry in relief for Alec, but instead, he wrapped the shadowhunter up in a hug, squeezing him tight, grinning when Alec hugged him back, just as tightly.  After a few precious moments, they pulled apart, and he grinned at Alec.  "I'm glad.  I think they doubted that you would try to do what you are right now.  None of them would think that you could do something like this."  

"And yet here I am," Alec said, tilting his head up triumphantly.  He grinned at Magnus and reached out to take his hand.  "Now, I know we have to make a portal jump, but can we make as few as possible?"  

"Absolutely," Magnus agreed.  He summoned a portal.  "To London we go, Alexander."  

Alec held onto Magnus' hand tightly, stepping through the portal and into a house that was being lit by the first rays of dawn.  He looked around and made an inquiring noise.  It wasn't until he heard Magnus muttering behind him that he realized there was no stinging sensation like there had been last time.  He pressed his fingertips to the necklace he was wearing and sighed in relief.  

"Okay!" Magnus said, his hands on his hips.  "Now, this isn't the townhouse, because that's what I actually traded that the ruby in that necklace that you're wearing for that."  He rubbed his hands together with a grin.  "But, I think that you'll actually enjoy this more!"  

Alec stepped closer to the window, staring out at the skyline of London, his breath catching.  His heart raced and he reached up to press his fingers to the necklace that he was wearing before looking over his shoulder at Magnus.  

"Alec?" Magnus asked.  "Are you all right?"  

"I, yeah?" Alec said, his voice hoarse as he watched the sun continue to rise.  He closed his eyes, before he pushed the doors to the balcony open and stepped out into the sun, letting it wash over him.  

Magnus watched as Alec stood in the sunshine, breathing hard.  He smiled faintly, picking up the duffel bag that Alec had brought with him, even as Alec continued to stand in the sun.  Once it had been thirty minutes, he shifted to move to the doorway.  "Alexander, you'll get sunburnt, and if you want to acclimate to this timezone, we either need copious amounts of coffee in the short future, or we need to sleep."  

Alec swallowed and turned to look at Magnus again, wiping his cheeks off.  "I, could we sleep?  I don't know if it's the adrenaline crash after everything, but-" 

"That's exactly what it is," Magnus said with a firm nod, reaching out to take Alec's hand, tugging him back into the house.  "Come on.  I'll show you the guest room."  

Alec paused in the hallway and tugged Magnus to a stop, chewing on his lip as he looked at him.  "Would... could you not leave me alone tonight?"  He took another deep breath and shrugged.  "I don't want to be alone."  

Magnus smiled and squeezed his hand again, turning around to tug him in the opposite direction.  He swallowed and blew out a hard breath.  "We can do that.  We can do anything you want, Alexander.  I told you.  The world is your oyster and I'm happy to show it to you."  

He stepped into the bedroom and held the door open for Alec before he shut it behind him.  Magnus stretched and yawned.  "How long do you think you have until someone realizes that you're gone?"  

"Well," Alec said, chewing on his lip.  "I think at least a couple of hours before someone realizes I didn't come back into the Institute.  Then they'll follow procedure.  Check the cameras.  Confirm I left.  Izzy will check my room, see that it is empty."  

"At which time," Magnus said with a hum.  "I suspect I'll be receiving a very angry phone call.'  

Alec paused and looked back at Magnus.  "You're not going to tell her where we are, are you?"  

Magnus snorted and shook his head.  "No, I am not," he said, his voice firm.  "I had no intention of telling her that you were even with me, for that matter.  There is no love lost between your parents and I, for a very good reason."  

Alec was quiet as he watched Magnus set the rest of the room to rights, waving his hands as he summoned different things to the vanity and some of his clothes into the closet.  "You were one of the ones they hurt, weren't you?"  

Magnus froze and turned to look at Alec, and sighed, blowing out a hard breath.  "Yes.  I was."  His eyes went distant and he stared at the wall.  "I was trying to smuggle out other warlocks that had been captured.  I managed to get them free, but I was captured.  Dampening cuffs were put on me," he swallowed hard and breathed out hard.  "I fought my way free.  The Circle didn't expect to see a warlock pick up an Adamas blade and wield it.  I had the advantage and escaped, but not without a few battle scars."  

"I'm sorry," Alec breathed, biting down on his lip as he thought of the pain Magnus must have gone through, trying to protect his people, only to be stymied by the Circle.  

"I'm more sorry," Magnus countered.  "Because you'd had that pain reflected on you.  I don't know if that's been one of your attacks, Alexander, but if it has, I am so sorry.  I would have wished those injuries and those emotions on no one."  

Alec stepped closer and wrapped Magnus in his arms, pulling the warlock in for a tight hug.  He pressed his face to Magnus' hair and breathed in slowly.  "You don't have to apologize for saving yourself.  For doing what you needed to do to free yourself, and to protect your people.  As you've spent the last two days reminding me, Magnus.  It's not my fault that I'm under this curse."  

Magnus pressed his face to Alec's neck, exhaling shakily, even as Alec held onto him just as tightly as he had done for the shadowhunter the last few days.  "Thank you, Alexander."  

Alec gave a firm nod.  "Of course.  Now, come on.  I think we're both exhausted.  Time to sleep?"  

"Sleep and contemplate the fact that I've kidnapped myself a shadowhunter," Magnus said with a grin, winking at Alec.  He gestured to the bathroom.  "There's the ensuite.  Feel free to help yourself.  Do you want anything to eat before you go to bed?"  

Alec shook his head.  "No, but, water?"  

"Water I can do," Magnus promised, snapping two large bottles into his hands, putting them on either nightstand.  He took his time taking his makeup off and smiled, breathing out slowly as he heard Alec come out of the bathroom.  He sent a quick note to Ragnor and Catarina, letting them know to ignore any Clave inquiries regarding himself and he'd be in touch tomorrow.  

They would always have his back, just like they would have his.  Magnus blew out a hard breath and looked out the window at the dawn again, his shoulders relaxing.  He would miss Brooklyn, and his loft, but for now, it was best that they avoided New York.  With another snap of his fingers, he sealed the building, ensuring that no person, shadowhunter or downworlder, could enter it. For all intents and purposes, he would be gone, off the map.  Just like a certain Alec Lightwood.  

Magnus turned to look at Alec who was settling into the bed with a happy groan and smiled at him before taking his turn in the bathroom.  Once he was finished, he stepped out and headed to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it, taking several quick sips of water.  

"You don't mind, right?" Alec asked, quiet, looking up at Magnus.  

Magnus raised his eyebrows and put the water bottle down before settling into the blankets.  "Mind what?  The agreed upon kidnapping?  Dragging you around the world?  Sharing a bed?  We've got a lot of ground to cover."  

Alec snorted and rolled his eyes.  "Sharing a bed, Magnus."  

Magnus winked at Alec and settled into the pillows.  "If a handsome man says that he wants to share my bed, I am, most certainly, never going to protest, Alexander," he said primly, giving Alec a firm nod before relaxing.  "Besides.  This room is the nicest one."  

Alec snorted and settled into the pillows, his eyes drifting shut.  He reached out and hesitantly took Magnus' hand, squeezing it.  "This okay too?"  

Magnus threaded their fingers together and squeezed his hand right back.  "Of course it is, Alexander.  I told you.  It's okay, and I've got you."  

Alec let the last of the tension fade from his shoulders.  "Okay," he whispered.  

"Go to sleep," Magnus ordered softly.  "We'll have plenty to face in the morning."  

~!~ 

Magnus woke to the shrill cry of his cell phone and he nearly growled as he pulled himself out of the clingy arms of one Alec Lightwood to grab it, stepping out of the bedroom and onto the balcony to answer it.  He swiped it open, already knowing exactly who was calling him.  "I do hope you have a good reason for pulling me out of my bed, Isabelle Lightwood."  

Isabelle scowled.  "Where the hell is he?!"  

Magnus feigned confusion.  "Where the hell is who?"  

"Don't play dumb with me.  He's gone!"  

Magnus felt a little bit of pity for how distraught she sounded, but he also knew that they were only in this situation because they'd pushed Alec into it.  "He being Alec?  I'm not surprised.  He was less than thrilled when he informed me that our idea was off."  

"You're lying," Isabelle growled.  "You have him!  Where are you?"  

"Prove it," Magnus challenged, leaning against the banister.  "Go ahead, Isabelle.  Prove that I'm lying to you."  

"You, you," Isabelle swallowed, long and hard.  "No one else would have helped him.  Knew, knew he was here and what was wrong."  

"Isabelle," Magnus started.  "I fulfilled the job that you gave me.  I discovered what was wrong with your brother, and while I couldn't cure him, I did find a way to dampen the attacks enough that he can make it through them without screaming.  As far as I am concerned, that is us, finished."  

Isabelle tightened her hand on the phone, clenching her eyes shut.  "You're the only one that he would have gone to.  Please."   

Magnus sighed.  "I don't know where he is, Isabelle.  The last I saw him, he was sitting on the bed in his room, after he explained we couldn't go forward with our plans."  

"Magnus, what if something happens to him?  What if he has an attack out there?  What if it happens in the middle of a demon attack?" Isabelle asked, pacing frantically across her room.  "Don't you care about him at all?"  

"I suspect," Magnus said, his voice quiet and stern.  "I care more about him than you and Jace ever did.  You want to shelter him, keep him locked away from the world, and safe.  But that's not how the world works, Isabelle.  It never has been."  

"Please," Isabelle said.  "Please help me find him, Magnus.  I just need to know that he's safe.  I don't have any way to contact him."  

Magnus blew out a hard breath and contemplated it.  "No."  

Isabelle reared back, her eyes widening.  "No?  What do you mean, no?"  

"I'm not going to help you find Alexander, only for you to cage him again," Magnus told her, shrugging.  "You're on your own.  I suspect Alec will contact you when he is ready, whenever that might be."  

"Magnus-" 

"Now," Magnus said, talking over her.  "I am going to go back to bed, and my very comfortable companion in said bed.  If you need help, or assistance, you can reach out to any number of warlocks in New York.  I'm on vacation."  

"Magnus!"  

Magnus closed the phone on Isabelle's protests and silenced the phone when she called back.  He tilted his head back and smiled into the sunshine, even as shuffling indicated to him that he wasn't the only one that had woken up.  

"Isabelle?" Alec asked, pushing some of his hair out of his face, stepping out onto the balcony as well.  He looked down at the city, grinning.  He couldn't wait to get out and explore.  

"Indeed," Magnus said.  "She's somehow under the misapprehension that I would kidnap you for my own dastardly devices."  

Alec snorted and rolled his eyes, looking up at the sun.  "I wish I knew when I stopped trying, Magnus.  I don't even remember.  When everything just became about surviving and making it to another day."  

"Pain does funny things to the brain," Magnus said quietly.  "Especially the kind of pain you go through, Alexander.  There's no shame in surviving.  Because that means you made it to today.  Sometimes we simply have to survive until we can get to a point where we can be something else."  

"You're too wise for your own good," Alec said, giving him a smile before his stomach rumbled, loudly.  

Magnus grinned at him.  "I take it food is in order before we visit Ragnor?"  

Alec nodded.  "Food would be great.  And uh, I need your help."  He looked down at his arms and bit his lips.  "I need to figure out a way to glamour my runes so shadowhunters can't see them.  I don't, I don't know that a traditional glamour will work."  

Magnus hummed in consideration and studied the black marks on Alec's arms and neck before he snapped his fingers.  "I've got it.  How about a more mundane glamour?" he offered, holding up a small makeup bag.  "Go take a shower while I procure us some breakfast.  After I get back, I'll teach you how to cover up runes the old fashioned way."  

Alec laughed in surprise and shook his head.  "All right.  Can you make sure to bring back coffee?"  

"Alexander," Magnus said.  "I will not only bring you back coffee, I will bring you back some of the best coffee that you have ever tasted, and some of the most amazing pastries that you will swear that they are the food of the gods."  

Alec shook his head with a snort.  "If you say so."  When Magnus turned to head back inside, he reached out to take Magnus' wrist.  "Can.  Can you make sure a fire message can't be tracked?"  

Magnus tilted his head and nodded.  "Yes, I can."  His eyes softened and he smiled.  "You want to send one to Isabelle?"  

"Yeah," Alec said, his voice hoarse.  "Despite, despite everything, I don't want her thinking I'm dead."  

"Of course, Alexander," Magnus said, summoning parchment and a pen before offering it to Alec, watching as he scribbled out a few quick lines before handing it back to him.  He sent the message off in a flurry of magic.  "All right, go get clean while I acquire food!"  

Alec snorted and grabbed fresh clothes out of his duffel bag before heading to the bathroom.  "Bossy," he teased, glancing back at Magnus.  

Magnus watched Alec go and shook himself at how soppy his heart felt at the sight of Alec so comfortable in his home.  He portaled into an alley in Paris and made his way towards the pastry shop he was thinking of.  While he was waiting, he called Ragnor.  

"Magnus Bane, what have you gotten yourself into?" Ragnor grumbled.  "The New York Institute is in an uproar."  

Magnus snorted and rolled his eyes.  "How dramatic.  I didn't do anything."  

"I'll believe that precisely never.  When are you bringing the Lightwood boy over?" Ragnor asked.  

"What makes you think he's with me?" Magnus challenged.  When Ragnor said nothing, just silence over the phone, he sighed.  "Oh, all right, probably sometime in the next couple of hours.  I want you to take a look at the curse on him.  See if there's anything you can think of that I can't."  

"Because that's exactly how I want to spend my afternoon, with kidnapped shadowhunters," Ragnor muttered.  

Magnus cleared his throat.  "I will point out that a shadowhunter who gathered his own clothing and belongings, walked out his bedroom door, took his own weapons and made no point of hiding before he left the Institute is not, in any way, kidnapped." 

Ragnor blinked and his eyes narrowed.  "That is not what the Institute says happened."  

"And yet it is exactly what happened.  I'm sure if you were to press, they would even be able to produce video footage showing as much," Magnus said, looking at his fingers.  "In fact, I am willing to bet that Alec walked in the exact opposite direction of Brooklyn, giving no indication that he was heading in my direction whatsoever."  

"Smart," Ragnor acknowledged, nodding with a sigh.  "Bring him over.  Tell him if he's rude I'll put another curse on him."  

"You'll have to pull down your wards to let us through," Magnus said, muting the phone briefly to order their coffee and pastries in french before he turned his attention back to the cell phone.  "Don't even start complaining, Ragnor.  Any touch of magic on him triggers an attack, and though I've found a way to dampen them, they're still excruciating to witness."  

Ragnor sighed.  "Call me when you're close and I'll let you in.  How do you expect me to examine him if I can't touch him with magic?"  

"I'll explain more once we're there.  I have to go bring breakfast back," Magnus said, holding the pastries and coffee carefully as he summoned another portal.  "But do me a favor and let me know if the Institute does anything really stupid?"  

Ragnor grunted.  "See you soon, Magnus."  

Chapter Text

Magnus stepped out of the portal and back into the bedroom of his London home, once again treated to the sight of the back of a shirtless Alec Lightwood.  He bit down a sigh, letting his eyes trail down to the slim waist.  He could easily picture his hands on those hips, or his legs around them, or-

"Magnus?"  

Magnus shook himself and lifted his eyes to Alec, even as he turned around, offering an even more tempting view.  He looked up and smiled.  "Okay, I'm back."  

Alec raised his eyebrows and snorted, his eyes dropping to the coffee.  "Food?"  

"Yes, you monster," Magnus said with a laugh, pulling out a large cinnamon bun for Alec, putting it on a plate with a flourish of his fingers, offering it to him with a coffee.  "Here, put some clothing on and eat this."  He watched Alec take a huge bite of the bun and groan around it, ordering himself not to react, no matter how tempting those sounds of his were.  He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, staring down Alec.  "Good?"  

Alec nodded and swallowed.  "Very," he agreed.  He smiled at Magnus.  "Thank you for going to get us breakfast."  

"You're welcome," Magnus said.  He went to sit at the vanity, determinedly ignoring the sounds of Alec getting dressed in the bathroom.  He got all of the makeup laid out on the dresser with a nod and turned to look at the shadowhunter.  He smiled at how much lighter and happier Alec looked, even with the charm and necklace around his neck as a constant reminder.  

"All right.  How do we cover the runes?" Alec asked, biting down on his lip as he looked at Magnus.  

"Sit," Magnus ordered, patting the other half of the bench, grinning when Alec straddled it to face him.  "Let's do the runes on your arms first.  Now, pay attention to the order that I do these in, all right?"  He picked up the concealer first.  "The best way to counter black..."  

Alec lost himself in the haze of Magnus' instructions, his hands gentle and soft as they twisted and moved his arm easily.  His fingers that wielded magic so effortlessly were so gentle with him and he swallowed, watching as his runes disappeared under the makeup.  When Magnus finished with a spritz of spray, and then pressed his finger to show that none of it would lift, Alec stared in shock.  

"Makeup is a magical thing," Magnus said with a grin, winking at Alec's stunned expression.  "Now, if you could be so kind as to shift, I'll take care of that deflect rune for you.  It's not the easiest to reach spot, so it'll be better to have me do it and you can take care of the others on your arms to show me if you remember how."  

"All right," Alec said, his voice hoarse.  When he shifted and Magnus abruptly straddled his lap, his eyes went wide and he slammed his eyes shut, breathing hard.  

Magnus froze, his voice gentling.  "Attack incoming?" he asked softly.  

"No," Alec said with a shake of his head.  "Wasn't, wasn't expecting you to straddle me like that."  

Magnus smiled faintly and turned his attention to the rune on Alec's neck.  "Well, I am relieved that I didn't offend your shadowhunterly virtues.  I assure you, you're at no risk even with me sitting quite comfortably on you."  He reached up and tilted Alec's neck to the side, exposing the rune properly.  "Can you keep your head like that for a few minutes?"  

Alec swallowed hard, trying not to squirm with Magnus' thighs on either side of his legs.  "Yeah," he said, his voice coming out hoarse.  At the first brush of the makeup, a small gasp escaped him, but Magnus' hands were steady and quick, his voice reassuring as he slowly worked to get rid of the rune.  His head swam and he bit down his lip, forcing himself to think of horrible things, like never seeing Magnus again, or having to be locked in that room again.  That was enough, at least, to get his body under control.  

"You're doing great," Magnus praised, his voice soft.  "I know this is an awkward angle to hold your head at.  Just a little bit longer for me," he coaxed, blowing to dry some of the concealer quicker.  Alec shuddered under him and Magnus paused for a brief second before resuming the process of covering his rune up.  He must have felt that wrong.  With a few more quick flourishes of his brush, he had the rune gone and he slid off of Alec's lap with a wink, gesturing for him to look at the mirror.  

Alec turned to stare at the mirror, his eyes widening.  He couldn't even tell that the rune was there, even though he knew exactly where it was supposed to be.  He pressed his fingers to the makeup and then looked up at Magnus.  "One of these days," he said, staring up at Magnus.  "One of these days, I'm going to find a way to repay you for everything, Magnus."  

Magnus swallowed and smiled at him, barely managing to keep himself from leaning in to claim a kiss.  "You don't have to repay me for anything," he reminded Alec, pointing to the makeup behind him.  "All right, let's see how much you remember while you cover the rest of them.  When we get back tonight, I'll teach you how to remove it.  You're not going to want to sleep with that on, or you'll definitely have to clean your sheets." 

Alec laughed and nodded readily enough, picking up the first item and turning to the runes on his other forearm.  "All right, here goes."  

Magnus sat down beside him again.  "Don't worry.  I'm not going to let you mess up too badly," he promised.  In a matter of minutes, Alec had the runes covered, only making the occasional misstep throughout the process.  Magnus grinned at him, bright and wide, finishing off the last of his pastry before he nodded.  "All right.  Now, can you manage a portal?"  

Alec nodded.  "It didn't hurt as much as last time.  So I think we're okay.  But I'll let you know if I can't."  

Magnus nodded and reached out to take Alec's hand, casting the now-familiar bubble around him before they stepped through the portal to just outside Ragnor's wards.  He tugged Alec to a stop.  "Here, one second," he said, fishing his phone out of his pocket before he dialed.  "Yes, yes, we're here.  Northern entrance.  Oh, stop complaining, I know you weren't that busy."  

Magnus clicked the phone shut and waited until a shimmer in the air disappeared before he tugged Alec quickly across the threshold.  Once he had, he smiled, bright and wide as the wards slammed shut behind him.  "Perfect, now on to meet Ragnor," he said, ushering Alec towards the house they could now see.  

Alec followed behind Magnus and stepped into the house, feeling the weight of eyes on him, even as Magnus called out to Ragnor as he walked further into the house.  "He, he doesn't mind shadowhunters, does he?"  

"Of the two of us, he's the decidedly more friendly one to shadowhunters," Magnus explained, spinning around again with a huff.  "Ragnor, come on now, no games."  

There was nothing but silence in response and Magnus slumped into a chair, looking up at Alec.  "All right, apparently games it is.  Go find him, if you can.  He'll be waiting somewhere and then we can get this meeting started."   

Alec had no idea what the hell that was supposed to mean, but since Magnus sat down on the couch and proceeded to ignore him, the worst he could do was explore the house.  He started back in the hallway, glancing towards a painting.  He frowned when the eyes were empty.  How weird.  It was creepy.  He shuddered and turned back to the rest of the house.  

He walked past what was clearly a kitchen with a still steaming kettle and paused, turning to Magnus.  "Magnus, looks like there's tea ready if you want to make yourself a cup," Alec called.  

Magnus stood up with a grin and immediately strode towards the kitchen.  "Oh, excellent, Ragnor always hides his favorite teas, so now I'll be able to grab one-" 

"Don't you dare, Magnus Bane!" Ragnor growled, stepping out of a curtain, before heading towards the kitchen.  

Alec looked back at Magnus and then to Ragnor, crossing his arms over his chest.  "Found him," he said, ignoring the surprised warlocks staring at him before he went to sit on the couch.  

Magnus couldn't help grinning in delight.  "Alexander, did you just play both of us?"  

Alec looked up at Magnus and winked at him briefly before turning to the other warlock who was staring at him with narrowed and shrewd eyes.  "Maybe a little," he allowed.  "I took a guess and it turned out to be right."  

"And what guess was that?" Ragnor asked in a huff, snatching the kettle away from Magnus when he tried to reach for it.  

"That you wouldn't want Magnus to make the tea," Alec said, smiling faintly as he watched Ragnor slap Magnus' hands away from the mugs as he poured.  

Magnus laughed and retreated from the kitchen.  "Look at that, more brilliant than I gave you credit for, Alexander," Magnus said, slipping onto the couch beside him.  He waited for Ragnor to finish making his tea as he settled onto the couch and took a few long sips of a coffee he summoned to his hand.  

"Well," Ragnor said, sitting in a chair across from the both of them.  "You must be Alexander Lightwood."  

"Call me Alec," Alec said, sitting up.  "It's nice to meet another friend of Magnus'." 

Ragnor raised an eyebrow at Magnus.  

"He's met Catarina," Magnus explained.  "She helped me to diagnose the curse on him.  Speaking of which, we need some of your curse-breaking expertise."  

Ragnor lifted the cup of tea to his lips and sipped before he turned to the shadowhunter.  "Before we do that.  I want something."  

Alec frowned and tensed, glancing over at Magnus.  "I don't have much to offer," he said cautiously.  "But I'll attempt to pay you whatever you want for the service, of course."  

Ragnor waved away the offer of payment.  "Nothing so simple as money.  I want you to swear on whatever is valuable to you that you are here of your own free will.  And I will know if you are lying, boy."  

Alec blinked and stared at Ragnor before laughing and looking down at the floor.  He looked over at Magnus.  "You have good friends," he said, his voice quiet, before he turned to Ragnor, lifting his chin.  "I swear on my sister's life, that I am here of my own free will.  That I left the Institute of my own free will, as my own choice."  

Ragnor relaxed and leaned back in the chair, exhaling and taking a sip of his tea.  "Interesting.  All right.  Magnus.  Explain what is going on with this curse."  

Magnus took a deep breath and met Ragnor's eyes.  "It was a curse cast by Lavella," he began, before diving into the rest of it.  He laid out every detail that he could, including the few that he hadn't discussed with Alexander yet, explaining everything he knew of the curse, and the conversations that he had had with Lavella.

Once he was done, Magnus gestured to the jewels that Alec was wearing and the omamori charm on his wrist.  "I don't know which of those is the more powerful and what is doing the heavy lifting, but combined, they were able to bring the pain under much more control."  

Ragnor sighed and put his teacup down, studying the two.  "Hand me the necklace," he ordered.  

Alec wrapped his fingers around it, hesitating, before he lifted it off his neck and handed it to Ragnor.  

"So you don't need to be wearing it all the time, just during one of the attacks?" Ragnor asked, waiting for the nod of confirmation.  He examined the spells on each of the gems and raised his eyebrows at Magnus.  These were some of the most powerful cleansing spells he'd ever seen, and the emotion wrought into them was evident to anyone looking.  

Magnus flushed and cleared his throat.  "Well, don't fondle them for too long.  They look better on Alexander."  

"That necklace," Ragnor said, exchanging it for the charm.  "Is powerful, and expensive.  Make sure you don't lose it."  

"I don't plan to," Alec said, his voice quiet as he slipped it back around his neck, tangling his fingers in it easily as he watched the warlock examine the small red charm and gold chain.  

If Magnus had poured his emotions into the necklace, it was nothing compared to the charm and Ragnor shook his head, offering it back to the Lightwood boy.  "Unfortunately, I'm afraid I don't have too much to tell you that you don't already know," Ragnor said, looking between them.  

Alec nodded.  "I figured you might say that."  

"That being said.  I think there's at least a few other things that you can try to use to break the curse," he added, watching both of their eyes shoot up to meet his, almost in tandem.  Ragnor resisted the urge to smile.  

"Like what?" Magnus asked.  

Ragnor crossed his arms over his chest.  "Ground phoenix feather in hellfire, for one," he ticked off.  "Next would be the Accalia flower from the Unseelie realm.  You could infuse gems with that and I think it might block the curse entirely.  If you can find one."  

Magnus groaned and dropped his face into his hands.  "I would have taken something easy, you know, Ragnor."  

"Well," Ragnor said with a shrug.  "The easiest solution would be True Love's Kiss."  

Magnus froze and blinked at him.  "What?"  

Alec stared at the warlock across from him and Magnus.  "That's actually a thing?"  

Ragnor looked at the shadowhunter and snorted.  "All the stories are true, remember?"  

"I, right," Alec said, blinking.  "So True Love's Kiss?  Would work?"  

"It's a myth," Magnus growled, sighing.  "What it almost always is is the power of unconditional love.  It inspires some of the strongest magic out there."  

"It is not," Ragnor said, meeting Magnus' eyes.  "A myth.  However, it is exceedingly rare.  I think I've seen it work once as a cure in all of my centuries, and we can hardly have Alec here go running around kissing everyone on the off-chance that he finds his true love and breaks the curse."  

"Right," Alec said, ruffling his hair.  "So that's out.  How about the other two, Magnus?"  

Magnus chewed on his lip, tossing the idea around in his head.  "They're both possible," he allowed, looking over at Alec.  "But they're also both very, very dangerous, and I don't know that they're meant to be given to a nephilim and I have no idea how they'd react with runic magic, or what would happen with the spell that's on you that prevents magic from being used on you."  

Alec nodded again, looking down at the table between them.  "That's what we expected, right?"  

"I'm sorry," Ragnor said, drawing their eyes back to him.  "I wish I could have offered more options for you.  You certainly don't deserve this, and if there were an easy way to break the curse, I would do it this second."  

Alec shook his head.  "You don't have to apologize, it's not like you placed the curse."  He looked towards Ragnor and cleared his throat.  "Maybe you could help tell me what is going on at the New York Institute since I left, though?"  

Chapter Text

Ragnor started to grin, picking up his tea again.  "Seems like your leaving has caused quite a stir.  Rather impressive, considering that most people didn't know the Lightwoods had an elder son.  They kept you tightly under wraps after things happened, didn't they?"  

"Yes," Alec said with a nod, glancing over towards Magnus.  He took a deep breath and met Ragnor's eyes.  "Have they asked you to track me down?"  

"Not yet, but I suspect they aren't far from doing so," Ragnor explained.  He studied Alec.  "Unfortunately that leaves you with two undesirable options.  Option number one, obviously, involves being found."  

Alec nodded, glancing over at Magnus, who was tense beside him.  

"Option number two," Ragnor explained, clearing his throat.  "Is that you are not found to be trackable.  Obviously this is what you'd prefer, but unfortunately, it will also indicate you are working with a warlock.  And the New York Institute knows exactly which warlock you are with, no matter how good his lying is."  

Magnus sighed and leaned back against the couch.  "We could go to ground, but that rather defeats the purpose of you having your tour around the world, Alexander."  

Ragnor turned his attention back to the shadowhunter, who appeared to be deep in thought.  He sipped his tea and waited.  Alec Lightwood's academy scores had been nigh perfect, but where he had excelled, always, had been in tactics, and this was a moment where he would see exactly how good he was at playing these games.  

"I don't want to go to ground," Alec said, his voice soft.  He stared at Ragnor's carpet and thought, hard.  "They know I left.  And if they find out I'm in Europe, they'll know you helped me, Magnus."  

Ragnor nodded.  That was an obvious enough assessment.  "The question is, how do you get yourself out of the pickle you appear to be in, young Lightwood, since you know that your parents and your siblings will not leave you well enough alone."  

Alec thought about it and then his eyes cleared and he sat up.  He spun to Magnus.  "I know what we can do."  

Magnus blinked, looking at Alec with a frown.  "What?"  

Alec turned back to Ragnor and then to Magnus.  "We'll, we'll need Catarina's help.  The only way that they'd let me go," he breathed out hard, exhaling.  "Is if they thought I was somewhere like that room.  Where I wasn't a danger to myself, or an embarrassment to them."  

Ragnor blinked and sat back in his chair.  "You want to put yourself into an asylum?"  

Alec nodded.  "If we could stage me being found at a hospital, in pain, desperate, and then have fake records showing that I had a fit and tore the room apart and they, they sent me to one of those places..." 

Magnus stared at Alec, awe in his eyes.  "You're right," he breathed.  "They'd let you rot there.  Punishment for running away, maybe."  

"That would involve you staying there," Ragnor said, frowning at Alec.  "And as much as I believe in the power of your acting skills, Lightwood-" 

"No, I wouldn't," Alec said, sliding forward in his chair eagerly.  "That's just it.  You don't understand.  Jace and Izzy might look for me, and let's say they do.  But who is to say that my records couldn't be lost.  That they couldn't disappear?  That I couldn't be "conveniently" lost because I injured someone.  I've done it before under one of the more violent fits."  

Ragnor's eyes narrowed and he tossed the idea around in his head.  "We can forge most of the paperwork for that," he agreed, looking to Magnus.  "We'll need Catarina's help.  But I believe that we can do that.  Give them a paperwork trail to follow."  

Alec nodded, swallowing hard.  "Exactly."  He closed his eyes and breathed out hard.  "The only downside to that-" 

"The only downside is that you could never go back," Magnus said, looking at Alec again.  "And that's not a choice I think that you want to make either."  

Alec sighed, pushing his fingers through his hair.  "Not to mention the amount of effort it would take to do that."  He frowned, tapping impatiently at his arm.  "Which leaves us back at square one."  

"This would be so much more convenient if you could simply testify on the Soul Sword that you are leaving under your own mind and you are seeing a cure for your curse," Ragnor said, looking at the boy.  "But I hardly think it a wise idea for you to walk into Alicante."  

Alec tilted his head and considered that.  "I...have a friend or two who might be willing to help with something like that.  That I could trust."  

Magnus looked to Alec.  "Even then, that doesn't mean that your parents and siblings will stop looking for you."  

Alec shrugged.  "I'm far less worried about them than I am about the Clave."  He blew out a hard breath.  "There is a provision in the Law, where if a shadowhunter is injured and the recovery requires research, that they can be removed from any sort of duty until the injury is sufficiently healed.  I haven't been on active or injured reserve duty in a decade."  

Alec tapped his fingers faster, thinking the rest of that through.  "I could easily make the argument to the Inquisitor that searching for a cure is the best way for me to return to active duty."  

"Back to your original idea," Magnus said with a nod.  "But your parents would never buy it."  

"That's why we're going to go around them," Alec said with a firmer nod.  "Okay.  I need to get in touch with Aline Penhallow."  

Magnus raised both eyebrows.  "The Consul's daughter?" 

"We're old friends," Alec said with a faint smile.  "I think she'll help me get an audience with her mother.  If I can get to her, and go around Imogen Herondale, I think I'll be able to get special sanction to search for a cure." 

Ragnor blew out a hard breath.  "I like that idea better than the first, for a multitude of reasons.  However, there's a great deal more that can go wrong in Alicante than there is outside of it.  And in the Glass City, you would not have support from Magnus."  

Alec nodded and swallowed.  "But it would be the best way to stop the Clave from chasing me, and chasing Magnus," he said.  "So that's the option that we need to go with."  

"Just for the record," Magnus said, snapping himself a martini.  "I liked my going to ground idea better."  

Alec shot him a quick smile and turned back to Ragnor.  "I need a favor, and I'll pay you back however I can."  

Ragnor raised both of his eyebrows.  "What favor?"  

"I need you to stall my parents," Alec said, wincing.  "I don't care how you do it.  But I need you to buy me a day so I can get in touch with Aline and Jia."  He turned to Magnus.  "How close can you get me to Alicante?"  

"Right outside her gates," Magnus said, leaning back on the couch.  "All this for a curse we know we can't break."  

Alec hunched his shoulders and cleared his throat.  "Actually, that reminds me of the other option we haven't discussed."  He felt both Ragnor and Magnus turn to look at him.  "The option of me simply...going back."  

Ragnor frowned.  "Absolutely not."  

"I wouldn't let you," Magnus said with a nod.  

Alec smiled at both of them, brief and faint, hanging his head between his hands.  "But all of this trouble that we're going to, it's..." he swallowed and shook his head.  "It's too damn much.  I can't keep asking you to do these things for me when there's nothing that I can do or pay you in return."  

Ragnor took in the agonized look on Magnus' face and sighed.  Apparently this was going to be one of those instances.  Instead, he turned his attention to the Lightwood boy.  "Let me ask you something."  

Alec looked up at Ragnor and sighed.  "Of course."  

"How many times have you asked for help in the last ten years?" Ragnor asked, studying the way he flinched back, his eyes wide.  "And I mean, specifically, reached out for help.  Not had it offered to you and taken it when it was offered."  

Alec swallowed and dropped his eyes to the floor.  "I, I haven't."  

"And that is precisely why we are helping you," Ragnor said, his voice gentling.  "For all that there is an extensive, storied and sometimes painful history between shadowhunters and warlocks, neither of us are inherently cruel, Lightwood.  I taught at your Academy for over a century when I was High Warlock of London."  

Alec's eyes jumped up to Ragnor and he stared at him.  "You did?"  

Ragnor nodded and smiled.  "I did indeed.  And that's why I understand, better than most, what you're facing and why I want to help you.  Magnus wouldn't have brought you here if he didn't think I could help."  

Alec looked over at Magnus and then back to Ragnor, straightening his shoulders.  "You think I need to go to Alicante," he stated, staring Ragnor down.

Ragnor nodded.  "I do indeed.  The only way that anyone will believe you were not kidnapped is with a sworn testimony on the Soul Sword."  He cleared his throat.  "I believe I have a way I can stall the Lightwoods, because something else is about to come to light."  

Magnus turned to look at him and raised his eyebrows.  "And what is that?"  

"Clarissa Fairchild is about to turn eighteen," Ragnor said, meeting Magnus' eyes.  

Magnus blinked, slowly, and stared at Ragnor before cursing a blue streak, dropping his face into his hands.  "Is she really?"  

"She is," Ragnor confirmed.  "And I have reason to suspect that Valentine is about to come after her and Jocelyn.  So I have the perfect distraction for the New York Institute."  He turned to Alec.  "Call Aline, get her to set up the meeting with her mother.  Hurry.  I will buy you as much time as I can."  

Alec nodded.  "I will," he promised.  "How, what can I offer you in terms of payment?"  

Ragnor's eyes slid to Magnus again and the way he was staring at Alec Lightwood before he offered a smile to the shadowhunter.  "Let's discuss payment after you have succeeded.  All right?"  

"All right," Alec nodded hesitantly.  He stood up, glad when Magnus did as well.  "Stay safe?"  

Ragnor blinked in surprise at the well-wishes from the shadowhunter and gave him a brief smile.  "I always attempt to be so," he said, before sweeping himself into a portal he summoned a moment later.  

"Come on," Magnus said, taking Alec's hand as he stood as well.  "Let's get you back to London and you can start making arrangements."  

"Sounds good," Alec said, following Magnus through the portal.  This time, when he stepped through, his skin started stinging and he winced, stumbling for the bed before he fell on it, breathing hard through the flash of pain.  

"Alec?" Magnus asked, his eyes wide and frantic.  "Alexander, are you all right?"  

Alec breathed slowly as the stinging started to recede.  Didn't look like there was going to be an attack this time.  "Think I'm not far away from another wave."  He breathed out slowly and looked up at Magnus.  "You got quiet there at the end, Magnus."  

Magnus chewed on his lip.  "It's your life, Alexander.  I'm not about to tell you how to live it."  

"I know, but," Alec reached out and took Magnus' hand, glad that he had sat down on the bed beside him.  "But I want you to be here, Magnus.  I want you to, to have a say.  You're the one who convinced me to try to live again, you're the one supposedly taking me on this grand tour.  Your opinion matters."  

Magnus flushed and tried to ignore just how much that made his heart turn over in his chest, excited and thrilled.  "I appreciate that, Alexander.  And I think you're making the right choice, but I worry for you."  

"Listen," Alec breathed.  "Imogen is the one you don't want to deal with.  Jia, from what I have heard, is a hard ass, but she's also fair.  If I can get an audience and explain the nature of the curse to her, she'll let me go."  

Magnus nodded again and tightened his hand on Alec's.  "Good.  Because I don't want to have to figure out how to break into the Gard to get you out."  

Alec laughed and fell back against the pillows.  "They wouldn't throw me in the Gard, they'd send me back to the New York Institute and you'd break me out in a day."  

Magnus stared at Alec, and even though the statement was teasing, the conviction under it, the certainty that Alec had, wasn't wrong.  He would do exactly that, without hesitation, to keep Alexander safe.  He cleared his throat.  "You're right, I would.  And then you would actually listen to me about going to ground and hiding properly, wouldn't you?"  

"Maybe," Alec allowed, grinning at Magnus from where he was stretched out on the bed next to him.  He smiled faintly.  "Can we take a nap before I have to go contact Aline?"  

Magnus kicked off his shoes and stretched out next to Alexander on the bed, their hands still entwined.  "A nap sounds wonderful, Alexander.  Are you feeling all right otherwise?"  

Alec nodded and relaxed back into the pillows, yawning, tugging Magnus a little closer with his hand.  When he fell asleep, it was to the image of smiling golden eyes and he couldn't help grinning at it.  

Magnus watched Alec as he fell almost immediately into sleep, his whole body going lax.  The stress of the last few days was catching up with him.  He reached out and brushed the hair off Alec's forehead, smiling at him.  The reminder of what they were about to do, and how Alec was hopefully going to get them out of this mess of their own creation had him tensing, but he had to trust Alec.  He had to trust that he'd be able to get the meeting with Jia and do everything else.  

~!~ 

Hours later, Alec hung up the phone and leaned back in the comfy chair Magnus had at his desk, looking over at him.  "I have my audience with Jia," he said, blowing out a hard breath.  "Aline was able to get a meeting with her Mom under the guise of discussing the requests for a Downworlder Cabinet coming through from multiple Institutes."  

Magnus blew out a hard breath.  "All right," he said with a nod.  "That's good.  That's the first step done.  Now we just need to get you ready."  

Alec nodded and offered Magnus a smile.  "It'll be in about five hours, I think.  How's Ragnor doing with the New York Institute?"  

"Chaos is the name of the oh-so-glorious game," Magnus said with a grin.  "I've already had multiple reports of the return of Clarissa Fray, technically Fairchild since Jocelyn isn't about to let her go around as a Morgenstern.  

Alec smiled at Magnus.  "I am glad I am not dealing with that.  Can you imagine that?  An adult who is a shadowhunter but has none of our training?  I know you told me it was to keep her safe from Valentine, but that would be a nightmare."  

Magnus snorted and nodded.  "I certainly don't envy Jace and your sister dealing with that, as it will surely fall on their shoulders."  

Alec looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes, reaching out to touch the necklace.  "I wish it would just come already.  I don't want to risk it once we get to Alicante."  

Magnus bit down on his lip and glanced at the clock.  They did have time.  "What if I tried to trigger it?  Minor healing of your arm, for example," he said, gesturing to the bandage he'd wrapped around Alec's arm.  "Then you'd have it over and done with."  

"And if the dampening necklace doesn't work this time?" Alec asked him, turning worried eyes to the warlock.  "I'm going to be in an unfit state to make my case to Jia and we'll miss our shot."  

Magnus looked at Alec.  It was a bad situation either way, but he could see the fear curling in Alec.  He reached out and hugged Alec from behind, wrapping his arms around the shadowhunter, hugging him tightly.  "Good or bad, I'll be here to hold your hand through all of it.  And if it's a violent one, I can happily let you destroy one of the guest bedrooms and keep you from hurting yourself."  

Alec bit down on his lip and held his arm out to Magnus, his eyes growing in determination.  "I can't afford to have my trip to Alicante compromised.  Let's do it."  

Magnus reached out and carefully undid the bandage before letting magic curl in his hand and drop down to Alec's skin.  Almost immediately, he watched the ripple effect as the wound healed, sweat breaking out on Alec's body, his eyes going glassy with pain almost instantly.  "Alexander?" he called.  

Alec whimpered and clutched at the desk in front of him.  "Please," he whispered.  

In a heartbeat, Magnus had the shadowhunter swept up and into his arms, carrying him to the bed.  He got Alec wrapped around a pillow and watched the shadowhunter start to cry into it.  Magnus stretched out in front of him and met Alec's tear-filled eyes with a small smile.  "I'm here," he promised.  "I'm not going anywhere, Alexander.  I'm right here."  

Alec nodded and focused on the pillow, burying his face in it.  When fingers started to comb through his hair, he melted and scooted closer to Magnus, wanting more of the touch.  He wanted, needed more of it.  "Tell me something?" he breathed through the pain that was rocketing through him.  "Tell me a story?  Or something?"  

Magnus' mind raced and it took him a few frantic seconds before he came up with one.  He smiled.  "Shall I tell you about the time I got banned from Peru because I was terribly bad at playing an instrument and proposed to a plate?"  

Alec blinked up at Magnus incredulously.  "You're banned from Peru?" he asked, his voice hoarse.  

"Or Portugal," Magnus said, tapping his jaw.  "Maybe both.  I don't quite remember.  But that isn't important to the story.  The important part of the story is that I decided to seduce someone by learning to play an instrument and this was absolutely and unquestionably a mistake."  

Alec smiled faintly, burying his face in the pillow again, letting Magnus' voice wash over him as his trembling slowly started to recede.  He lost himself in the soft lull of Magnus' voice rising and falling as he told the story, laughing along with it, unable to keep from smiling himself.  He shook his head and pressed into Magnus' hand, keeping more of those touches coming, even as Magnus switched hands.  

"Sleep," Magnus ordered when Alec's drowsy eyes met his.  "I'll wake you with enough time to get ready and to make sure we can portal to where we need to.  But you need to get some rest."  It had been no less heartbreaking to watch Alec tremble and cry with pain, but at least, once again, the necklace and the charm had done their jobs.  There was no screaming and no violent outburst.  

Alec nodded and closed his eyes, breathing out slowly as he let himself doze, the faint scent of sandalwood surrounding him like the comfiest blanket he had ever known.  He relaxed and let Magnus take care of him, just for now.  

Magnus watched Alec fall into sleep and leaned in closer, pressing a soft kiss to his hair, even as the shadowhunter curled tighter around the pillow.  He breathed out and looked up at the ceiling.  He was already in too deep and he knew it.  Far, far too deep.  But there was no coming back from something like this.  Or someone, rather.  

Besides.  It wasn't like Alec had his true love waiting around the corner somewhere.  So who would care if he decided to tell the shadowhunter that he liked him?  No one.  

Magnus smiled and kissed Alec's hair again, offering him what little comfort he could while Alec dozed.  He waved his hand to set the alarm for them both and let himself drift off and imagine having something like this regularly, without the pain and weight of the curse between them both.  He would find a cure for Alexander.  Even if it meant finding him True Love's Kiss and letting him go.  

Chapter Text

Alec jolted awake at the sound of the alarm and relaxed, glad that Magnus was still holding his hand and they had curled closer together.  A quick glance at the wall told him that it had been a few hours, and that he would need to start getting ready.  He looked down at Magnus and when he blinked awake, his glamour down and his eyes gold, his heart skipped a few impatient beats.  He cleared his throat and carefully untangled their fingers.  

"I'm going to go shower.  You uh, you said that you could summon a suit for me to wear?" he asked, glancing towards Magnus.  

Magnus nodded and gave him a smile.  "Shoo.  I'll make sure it fits your aesthetic, too.  And I'll get you coffee so you perk up a little bit as well."  

Alec smiled at Magnus gratefully and headed into the shower, rinsing himself off of the sweat and tears, looking at the necklace and charm on the sink.  It was already starting to become second nature to wear them everywhere.  They were a comforting weight that he was really starting to enjoy.  

Once he was clean, and Magnus had dressed him in a suit that he really liked (it was understated and simple, and it suited him), and they'd stepped through the portal together, still holding hands as tightly as ever, he was ready.  Aline was waiting for them and Alec looked back at Magnus, tapping his necklace as a reminder that Magnus could track him with it and slipped through the Alicante wards.  

Magnus blinked in surprise when the wards didn't trigger anything for Alexander and tilted his head, watching as he kept going.  One more piece to the on-going puzzle that was this curse.  He paced impatiently and stared at the fading figures of Alec and Aline until he couldn't see them any longer.  Now, now it was all up to Alec.  

~!~ 

"Well you've caused quite the stir," Aline said with a huff, looking over at him.  "Here, I thought you died, only for me to find out, no, you're alive and well, you've just been cursed for the past decade."  

Alec offered her a quick smile.  "Yeah, the curse is no joke.  I hate it.  But we've found a way to control it and now I want to start trying to see if we can actually lift it."  

Aline nodded and opened the side door to the main offices.  "All right, come on.  My mother won't wait forever and I've asked Helen Blackthorn to bring the Sword.  We can trust her."  

Alec breathed out slowly.  "I have to admit that I'm a little bit nervous to face down your mother."  

"Just tell her the truth, Alec.  That you want to look for a cure," Aline said, smiling at him.  "There's nothing wrong with that and if that's the truth, the sword will compel you to say it."  

Alec nodded and offered her a quick smile before stopping outside of Jia's office.  He waited for Aline to knock and the order to enter the room before he stepped in and blinked in surprise when a blonde woman followed behind them both, the Soul Sword in her hands.  

Jia lifted her eyes to look at her daughter and frowned at the sight of two other people and the Soul Sword.  She narrowed her eyes and looked from Aline, to Alec Lightwood, to Helen Blackthorn.  

"Well, this is clearly not the meeting that I thought this was.  Explain.  Now."   

Alec stepped forward and cleared his throat.  "Consul.  My name is Alec Lightwood.  I'm sure we were introduced when I was much younger, but I'm here to plead my case under Shadowhunter Law."  

Jia's eyebrows raised and she settled back in her chair.  "Is there a reason that you're in front of me and not the Inquisitor?"  

"I believe that the Inquisitor's relationship with the New York Institute Head Assumptive would influence her decision regarding my request," Alec said, watching as Jia snorted and acknowledged the point.  It was well known that Imogen doted on Jace, even if it was in her own way.  

"Very well, what is it you want, Mr. Lightwood?  You're a very popular man from what I have been hearing the past few hours," Jia said.  

Alec cleared his throat.  "I left the New York Institute to seek a cure for the curse I am under, Consul.  I've been cursed for the past ten years, and it was only recently that the true nature of the curse has come to light.  My siblings reached out to the High Warlock of Brooklyn for assistance.  And when he was able to find a way to...dampen the impacts of the attack, I can function enough to search for a cure."  

"And why weren't you comfortable making this request of the Institute Head?" Jia asked, staring down the boy in front of her.  "You hardly need my permission to do so."  

"The Institute Head denied my request," Alec said, keeping it simple.  "He believes that traveling would still put me at too much risk, despite my assurances that there is a world of difference now, compared to before."  

"So you left?" Jia asked, raising her eyebrows.  "On your own.  With no help?"  

Alec gave her a look and watched her settle back into her chair again.  "Obviously I had help - without Warlock Bane's assistance in creating these," he gestured to the omamori and the necklace he was wearing.  "I would not be able to leave.  But in terms of leaving the Institute, I am sure you could review camera recordings that show me leaving my room with a bag, collecting my weapons, and walking past the guard at the front door."  

Jia snorted.  "And you somehow found your way to Alicante in the past day and a half."  

Alec gave her a small smile.  "And I somehow found my way to Alicante in the last day and a half."  

"Right.  So I am assuming by the way Helen is uncomfortably holding the Soul Sword you want to swear in front of Aline and Helen as witnesses and myself as overseer that you left of your own accord and intend to return as an Active Duty Shadowhunter if you find a cure?" 

Alec blinked and cleared his throat, surprised he didn't have to explain any of that to her.  "I, yes.  That is exactly what I want to do."  He frowned, staring at her.  "How did you-"  

Jia softened, just a fraction.  "Ragnor Fell was one of my instructors in the Academy," she explained.  "I may have received a fire message."  

Alec wanted to cry with relief and he nodded again.  "Yes, Consul, that is precisely what I'd like to do."  

"And the nature of your relationship with Magnus Bane?" Jia asked, raising her eyebrows as Alec had reached for the sword.  

Alec froze, taking a deep breath.  He couldn't lie.  The sword would force him to tell the truth.  He looked at her and met her gaze calmly.  "I like him.  I would like to have a relationship with him, if he's willing."  

Jia hummed and gestured for him to grab the sword.  "Very well.  Let's commence with all of the requirements.  Helen, Aline, do you swear to stand as witnesses and that your accounts will be true in front of the angels themselves and any who would demand your testimony?"  

"Yes," they answered together.  

"Good," she said, turning to Alec Lightwood and watching him face her, holding the sword, glowing in activation.  "Your name."  

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood," Alec said.  

"What is the nature of your business here this evening?"  Jia continued.  

"I seek the permission to find a cure for the curse that I was put under more than a decade ago in the company of Magnus Bane, who has offered to help me pursue such a cure."  

Jia raised her eyebrows and nodded.  "Did you leave the New York Institute under your own power and will?"  

"I did," Alec said, tightening his hands on the sword.  "My, Jace Herondale denied the request for me to leave and pursue the cure, however I believe this was done with the intent to keep me safe.  I wish to take the risk with the hope that I will not be cursed any longer."  

"Is the curse painful?" Jia asked.  

Alec swallowed, his eyes fluttering shut, the sword heating up in his hands, compelling him to answer.  "It is the most painful thing you can imagine.  It was a curse meant to reflect all of the pain Circle members inflicted on downworlders onto them.  It comes in waves."  

Jia sucked in a hard breath, her eyes shutting for a brief moment before she continued.  "Have you found a way to make it less painful for yourself?"  

"Yes.  The dampening necklace and charm keep the attacks from being debilitating to the same extent they once were," Alec explained, meeting her eyes calmly.  

"Do you have leads to pursue for a cure?" Jia asked.  

"Yes," Alec said, nodding again.  "Three options, at present, with the potential to find more as we travel to different areas of the world."  

"Good," Jia said, nodding at him.  "Do you have every intention to return as an active duty shadowhunter when you find the cure?"  

"Yes," Alec said, his voice strong and certain in the room.  "I was trained as a shadowhunter and it is what I am.  I do not want to give that up and have no intention of doing so."  

Jia's lips twitched into a smile.  "Conviction that some would be jealous of, Alec Lightwood."  She took a deep breath and met his eyes again.  "You were not coerced by the High Warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus Bane, to leave the New York Institute?"  

"No," Alec said, then his face twisted and he frowned.  "But he reminded me that being trapped in a room as a prison cell of my own making is not a life I wanted to live.  He did not coerce me, but he made me believe I deserved more than that fate."  

"No wonder you like him," Jia muttered.  She turned her attention back to Alec Lightwood.  "Last question, and then you will be allowed to leave, Mr. Lightwood."  She took a deep breath.  "What will you do if you find no cure?"  

Alec's mind went blank in the space of a second, the Sword heating up in his hands, compelling him to answer, but the words that were there, hiding on the tips of his lips were not ones that he wanted to say out loud just yet.  

"Answer, Lightwood," Jia demanded, her eyes narrowing.  

"Love Magnus Bane for the rest of my life," Alec whispered, staring at her, even as the words were ripped out of his mouth to settle in the room.  

Jia nodded.  "You may release the sword."  

Alec ripped his hands away, breathing hard, looking at her.  "Am, am I free to go, Consul?"  

"Yes," Jia said with another nod.  "I'll send communication to the New York Institute tomorrow that I have your testimony via Soul Sword that you have left of your own volition.  You will not be pursued by the Clave for the abandonment of your duties.  Now, get out of my office."  

"Yes, Consul," Alec said with a bow, giving Helen and Aline a grateful smile before he stepped out of the door and shut it behind him, striding quickly through the hallway.  

Alec hurried back the way he had come with Aline, wishing that he had her with him, but he knew that she needed to stay and receive some sort of dressing down for what had just happened.  He could make it back, Magnus had promised to be waiting for him.  Alec strode quickly through the streets of Alicante, finally arriving at the entrance.  When he stepped out of it, he took a deep breath and headed for the figure he could see leaning against a tree in the woods.  

"Alexand-" 

Alec didn't bother letting Magnus finish the question or whatever it had been that he was going to say.  Instead he wrapped his arms around Magnus as tightly as he could and hugged him, pulling him in close.  "She's letting me go," he breathed, exhaling hard, his shoulders shaking at the admission.  "Magnus, she's given me full permission to go.  She heard the testimony, Ragnor had talked to her, she knew what I wanted to, she wanted to help me, and-" 

"Alexander," Magnus breathed, hugging onto him tightly.  "Slow down, slow down and breathe for me for a minute, you're running a mile a minute and we're standing in a forest."  

"Right," Alec said, his voice hoarse.  "Can, can we go back, back to the house?"  

"Of course," Magnus agreed, summoning a portal and holding out his hand, bringing Alec through with him, watching as Alec immediately kicked off his shoes and began to pace.  He snapped up a drink and sat down in one of his favorite chairs.  "Now, please, explain."  

"I have permission to search for a cure," Alec breathed, grinning at Magnus, bright and wide.  "I have permission, Magnus.  She heard my testimony through the Soul Sword, and Ragnor had talked to her so she already knew what I was going to be asking to do."  

"Of course he did," Magnus muttered, rolling his eyes.  "That old softie."  He turned his attention back to Alec.  "And she let you confirm that you left the New York Institute under your own power and that you would return to active duty if and when you could?"  

"Yes," Alec agreed, laughing as he fell back against the bed, staring up at the ceiling.  "I'm free, we're free.  There's no one chasing us."  

Magnus smiled at the excited picture Alec made, especially as he was up and suddenly striding around the room all over again.  "Yes, and that is quite a delightful development, I assure you.  Now, all that remains is for you and I to figure out our plans."  

"Right," Alec said with wide eyes, sitting down on the edge of the bed, staring at Magnus.  "I know that you can't stay away forever, especially not with the whole Clary mess that's happening."  

Magnus snorted and nodded.  "You're right, I can't.  But I did promise you a tour around the world.  We just might have to shorten it."  

Alec breathed out hard, nodding again.  "All right.  I can live with that," he agreed.  "Especially since, even if we go back, I still have permission to keep searching unless I'm cured."  

"A fantastic little loophole that I would strongly encourage you to take complete and total advantage of," Magnus said, winking at Alec.  "Depending on our tests and seeing if any of these other options work, I would say that you tell no one you are cured for at least six months and take a vacation.  I'll give you my credit card and you can go anywhere in the world you want on my dime."  

Alec opened his mouth and snapped it shut a second later.  He didn't want to go on a vacation like that unless Magnus was able to come with him, and that was the simple truth.  He offered Magnus a smile.  "I think I've used enough of your time, resources, and money, Magnus.  I'm not going to take a vacation at your cost."  

Magnus hummed and gave him a look over the rim of his drink and settled back into his chair.  "Is that it then?  She didn't ask you anything else?"  

Alec shook his head.  "Made sure I left on my own, that I was working with you because I wanted to be, and..." he paused, remembering her last question and the answer that had escaped him.  He bit down on his lip and turned away from Magnus, his heart pounding as he remembered it.  "And she asked me what I would do if we didn't find a cure?"  

"And what did you say?" Magnus asked, standing up, watching as Alec's shoulders hunched.  He raised both of his eyebrows and stepped closer.  "Alec?  What's wrong?  Did you have an answer for that question?"  

"I didn't have a prepared answer for that one, no.  So the sword forced me to tell the truth and I did.  I told her..." Alec met Magnus' eyes and he realized in a second that they were gold, that Magnus wasn't wearing his glamour.  "That I'd spend the rest of my life with you, looking for one," he whispered.  

Magnus' heart turned over in his chest.  "With me?" he breathed.  His heart was pounding too loudly.  It wasn't a confession of feelings, hell, it wasn't a confession of anything, really, and yet it felt like a confession of everything.   "I have no doubt that you'll tire of me long before then."  

Alec shook his head and offered Magnus a smile.  "I'd never tire of you, Magnus.  It's that simple."  

Magnus swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry.  He sipped at his drink again, studying Alec in front of him before he shook his head and huffed.  "Alexander Lightwood, what am I going to do with you?"  

"Honestly?" Alec asked, kicking off his shoes.  "Come here, pet my hair, and take me around London tomorrow."  

Magnus started to laugh, rolling his eyes, even as he joined Alec on the bed and started petting his hair, massaging his scalp gently as he went along.  "I think I can do that," Magnus agreed, continuing to play with the strands.  When Alec's arm came to wrap around his waist, he shivered, but let the shadowhunter press in closer to him.  Alec wanted to keep searching for a cure with him, for forever if he couldn't find one.  

It was easy to lose himself in the focus of comforting Alec.  He'd had a tremendously long couple of days, between meeting him, discovering the secrets behind his curse, running away, to now being free.  A day off was exactly what they both needed, and it would be good.  They could get started on tracking down phoenix feathers and Unseelie ingredients the day after.  Tomorrow was going to be a day just for them to enjoy being... whatever they were.  

As the moonlight slowly crept over London, and Alec snored quietly, his face pressed in tight against his chest, Magnus couldn't stop watching him and the way the moon shone on Alec's pale skin.  With a quick twist of his fingers, the makeup was gone from Alec's arms and he leaned down to press a kiss to Alec's hair again.  "Sleep well, shadowhunter," he breathed, smiling against Alec.  

Tonight would be the first night since all of this had started that they could both rest easy.  It wouldn't be perfect, but it would be better.  No one was chasing them now.  

Chapter Text

Magnus woke to the sound of Alec shouting, and a crash of wood.  He scrambled to sit up, magic springing to his fingertips as he looked around for the threat, for whatever was hurting his shadowhunter.  "Alec!" Magnus shouted, looking around for him.  

The vanity bench was destroyed, as it had been thrown against the wall.  Magnus' eyes widened and he jumped out of bed, dashing for the bedroom door that had been thrown open.  "Alexander!" he shouted again, spinning in the hallway.  Where the hell had Alec gone?  

A crash from several doors down had him racing in that direction.  He slid into the room and slammed the door behind him, ducking when a chair was thrown in his direction.  His eyes widened and he took in the sight of Alec, his chest heaving, all of the muscles in his body covered in a sheen of sweat.  On top of that, the charm and the necklace were both glowing, bright colors to indicate how much they were trying to dampen what was happening.  

"Magnus," Alec snarled through gritted teeth.  "Get out, get the fuck out, get away!"  He clenched his hands into fists, the nails digging into his palms tightly enough to draw blood.  "Get away, get out, fuck, you have to-" his hands started to tremble and he grabbed the dresser, throwing it onto its side, listening to it crash.  

Magnus took in the picture and his mind was racing with a way to calm Alec down and keep him from hurting himself.  "Alec, how do I help you?" he growled, glaring at him.  "I'm not going to leave you alone," he added, watching as Alec grabbed another piece of furniture and threw it.  

"I can't," Alec choked on a sob and stumbled, falling into the wreckage of the chair he'd thrown, splinters threatening his fingers as he curled them into fists.  "I'll attack you if you come close, just get out!" he shouted.  

Magnus glared at him defiantly and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him and locking it.  He cast a silencing charm around the room so no one would hear them and he cleaned up the mess Alec was kneeling on, as well as the rest of the furniture.  "Try it," he growled.  

Alec stared, wide-eyed, as the rest of the furniture disappeared, the white hot anger and intensity burning under his skin, making him desperate to hurt, to do anything that he needed to do to destroy and rip things apart.  "Get out!"  

Magnus finished transforming the room, keeping the floor and the rugs before he carefully changed the walls so they could be cushioned as well, stepping closer to Alexander, where he was standing in the middle of the room, his chest heaving.  "Are the necklaces working?"  

Alec gave a jerky nod.  "Normally I blackout," he growled, breathing hard.  "Need you to go.  Won't hurt you.  Can't hurt you."  

"You're not going to hurt me," Magnus reassured him, watching as Alec looked at him, his eyes flashing a violent silver color before it was gone again.  He froze and stared at Alec.  "Alec," he breathed.  "Alec, what are you feeling right now?"  

Alec took a deep breath.  "Anger.  So much anger and pain and fear," he breathed, tightening his hands into fists.  "It's painful, I have to try to, try to-" 

"Unleash it," Magnus breathed.  "You have to let it out, Alec.  It's staying inside you, that's why it's trying to tear you apart and it's getting out of you the only way it can."  

Alec glared at Magnus and clenched his eyes shut, another surge of anger and fear welling up in him and he took a step forward, towards Magnus, the urge to attack him impossible to stop.  His vision clouded over and he slammed his eyes shut.  "Get out, get out, get out," he ordered, even as he moved closer, his limbs falling lax at his sides.  

Magnus watched Alec approach, his eyes blindingly silver now and Magnus' heart jumped into his throat, because he knew this.  He knew the warlock whose last moments Alec was reliving.  He knew exactly how hard this warlock had fought to save the others that he had been protecting.  

"I'm not leaving you," Magnus said, a sob gathering in his throat.  "Oh, Alexander, I'm not leaving you," he promised, stepping closer.  

"Magnus," Alec snarled, a tear escaping his eye.  "I'm going to...to... fuck.”   

Praying that he was right, Magnus stepped in close and under the swing of Alec's arms and right up into his space.  He wrapped both of his arms around Alec and held on tight, pressing a spear of his own magic into Alec's stomach, causing no actual wound, the blue magic sinking deeply into him.  He cast a ward around the room and waited.  

The scream that escaped Alec made a sob rip from him, but Magnus held on, tight as he dared, as magic, violent and desperate, erupted out of Alexander's body, lashing at him and the room around them.  The house around them shook from the sheer force of it as Magnus held the wards up, until, with another sobbed cry, it was gone and Alec fell into his arms, limp and unconscious.  Magnus stumbled and barely managed to catch him before they were on their knees on the floor, breathing hard.  

Magnus stared up at the ceiling, exhaling shakily, offering a prayer to the warlock whose death Alec had just experienced and held onto him tightly, even as Alec remained slumped in his arms.  "I've got you, Alexander," Magnus whispered.  "I've got you."  

When he was strong enough and had recovered from the absolute maelstrom of magic that had ripped through the room, Magnus managed to get them both back into bed, collapsing next to Alexander, tangling their fingers together before he curled directly into Alec's chest.  Alec could yell at him for it tomorrow if he needed to, but right now he needed to hear Alec's heartbeat and make sure that he was okay.  

He carefully banished both of their shirts, hoping that some skin to skin contact would ground Alec when he woke up and reached up, carefully combing his fingers through Alec's chest hair with a faint smile.  "I'm going to take care of you," Magnus breathed, holding into Alec as tightly as he dared with his other arm.  "I'm going to take care of you, Alec, and I'm going to make sure that no one is ever hurting you again."  

Even though he knew it was a foolish promise, he couldn't help wanting to make it, if only so Alec knew that he would never be alone unless he wanted to be.  

~!~ 

Alec kept his eyes clenched tightly shut, even though he'd been awake for who knows how long.  The last thing he could remember was the horrible dream that one of the anger waves had hit and Magnus had locked himself into the room with him.  If that had happened, Magnus wouldn't be here, curled up against him, right?  He wouldn't be where he was.  But if that had happened, how... 

"I can feel you thinking," Magnus muttered, blinking himself awake properly.  "You think very loudly, Alexander."  

Alec sighed and kept his face pressed to the pillows, even as he held onto Magnus.  "What happened?  I, I couldn't..."  

Magnus breathed out, long and low.  "I figured out another piece to the puzzle of your curse.  And why the anger episodes are so bad."  

Alec blinked, his eyes widening.  "You did?  Why?  How?"  

Magnus let out a hoarse laugh.  "Just let me sleep for a few more hours before you yell at me for it, all right?"  

"I think that means I am going to hate this answer," Alec said with a huff, glaring down at Magnus. "What happened?"  

"You have magic trapped inside of you when those hit.  You're experiencing the last moments some warlocks have, and Alec, some of them chose to fight.  But you can't fight.  You can't have magic used against you and release it like they could.  So it got out the only way that it could," Magnus explained.  "It's a valve under pressure, and any point that could release some of that pressure was what happened."  

Alec took a deep breath and blew it out hard, closing his eyes.  "So that was the emotions finding a way to let the power out without actually doing that?"  

Magnus nodded.  "Exactly.  Except this time, instead of letting you chase pain for that release, I basically...pierced the valve and let you release all that pressure at once."  He yawned and nuzzled into Alec's chest again.  "It was a lot of magic to try and absorb.  So I'm tired.  And you're warm.  And I want to go back to sleep now, please."  

Alec blinked in confusion and cleared his throat.  "Magnus?" he asked, his voice soft.  

"Hmm?" Magnus asked, sleepily.  Alec's arms tightened around him and he sank into them with a happy sigh.  His shadowhunter was so warm and he loved being held like this.  

"I'm glad I didn't hurt you.  Thank you for saving me.  Again," Alec whispered, holding onto Magnus tight, pressing his face against the side of Magnus' hair as tears started to escape.  He sniffled and kept holding onto the warlock even though Magnus was already breathing quiet and steady against his neck again.  

Alec closed his eyes and thought of the response he had given Jia, the absolute truest response that had been pulled out of him by the Soul Sword until he had nothing left to give.  That he would spend the rest of his life loving Magnus Bane.  He smiled and closed his eyes, a few more tears slipping free.  

That, that sounded like a life worth living.  One that he desperately wanted to see and be a part of.  If, if only Magnus wanted the same thing.  

~!~ 

When Magnus woke up a second time, it was because his stomach growled loudly enough to startle him from sleep and he groaned, reluctantly pulling himself out of Alexander's arms.  He scratched at his belly and slid out of bed, shuffling towards the bathroom.  

Alec, bemused, stared after Magnus (absolutely not staring at the way his hips swayed), and he smiled when he heard the sink going.  He stood up, his legs still shaky and stretched, slowly.  The sight of the broken vanity bench made him frown, but at least he hadn't touched the mirror that had been leaning against the far back wall.  He stretched out his arms and blinked in surprise when he heard a fire message coming.  

Turning, he missed it the first time it flew by him, but caught it the second and looked at the very simple message.  

CALL ME.  NOW.  

661-867-5309 

IZZY 

Alec snorted and walked over to the phone that was on the desk and picked it up.  He knew that Magnus had encrypted the number earlier when he had needed to talk to Aline, and it would work perfectly for this phone call.  It connected almost immediately and Alec leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes until he heard Izzy's voice.  

"Alec?"  

Alec breathed out slowly.  "Hey Izzy," he said, smiling into the phone.  Even after everything that had happened in the past day, he was worried that he had left the way he had, even though it had been for the best, for the both of them.  

"Oh, Alec, thank the angel.  Where the hell have you been?  Mom and Dad got this message from the Consul which said something about canceling the search for you, so I had to wait to send you a fire message, and I had no idea-" 

"Izzy," Alec said, cutting her off.  "I'm fine.  Mom and Dad got a message from the Consul because I went to go see her yesterday."  He took a second and realized that it had been only a day.  Fuck, that really had been done yesterday.  

Isabelle blinked and looked at her phone.  "You, you met with the Consul?  Why?"  

"Well," Alec said, frustration gathering in his voice.  "I needed to swear on the Soul Sword that I had left the New York Institute under my own power and free will, since that apparently seemed to be under question."  

"Alec," Izzy pleaded.  "Please, we weren't trying to make you leave, we just-" 

Alec sighed.  "Izzy.  Do you not understand the position both of you put me in?  I had no choice.  I had to leave."  

"You mean you had to go with Magnus," Izzy corrected with a scowl.  "I knew that he'd done something-" 

"Izzy!" Alec growled.  "Magnus didn't make me go anywhere.  He has done nothing but offer to help me every single step of the way.  He found me the closest thing to a cure I've ever had, and is the only person, in the past decade, who has not literally run from me during one of the attacks!"  He shouted the words into the phone and pulled it away from his ear with a curse, letting it hang in his lap before lifting it again.  

"Do you understand," Alec said, trying to rein in his temper.  "That I left, because you and Jace wanted me to go back to being who I have been for the past ten years?  Someone who was so afraid of being a burden on others he didn't know how to live?"  

Isabelle bit down on her lip.  "You know.  When I went to Magnus, to ask him for help.  I told him that you knew your own mind when you weren't under an attack.  That you should have agency."  

Alec swallowed hard and closed his eyes.  "And yet you didn't treat me that way." 

"I know," Isabelle said.  "Neither of us did.  I'm sorry, Alec.  I'm sorry, that wasn't what we meant to do.  I just, I know you.  You're going to push yourself and you're going to try to do things-" 

"Like speak to the Consul of the Clave and testify with the Soul Sword in front of her?" Alec asked, his voice bland.  When she didn't say anything, Alec sighed again.  "Izzy.  I love you.  I do.  But you are trying to keep me there when being there is not what I need right now."  

"And what do you need right now?" Izzy asked, scoffing and rolling her eyes.  "Magnus?  Let me guess, it's Magnus, right?"  

Alec smiled faintly, even as he caught on to the derision in her tone.  "It is, actually.  He makes me want to live, Izzy.  And even more than that, he makes me want to live when I'm with him, and I don't..." he swallowed and smiled into the phone.  "I don't want to give that up for anything.  Especially not when I've just found it."  

Isabelle chewed on her lip and sighed.  "All right," she allowed.  "But Alec, this is one of those things where-" 

"If you're going to warn me about Magnus' reputation, I am going to point out, again, to everyone involved, that I have read his Clave file, which paints him in the most negative light imaginable, by the way," Alec said with a huff.  "Listen, Iz, even if everything with Magnus falls apart tomorrow, he's still given me something I didn't even know I could still have.  I have to continue to chase that, because if I don't, I'm doing a disservice to me.  And I refuse to do that anymore." 

"Alec," Isabelle said.  "Are you ever going to come home?"  

Alec looked out across the skyline of London and smiled faintly as he listened to the sound of humming in the bathroom.  "New York will always be home, Izzy.  But I think that I'm going to take my time learning the rest of the world as I search for a cure and spend time with Magnus.  That's what my life looks like right now and I love the picture of it already."  

"You know we could use your help with the mess here," Izzy said, switching tactics.  

Alec laughed, closing his eyes.  "I'm sure that you could.  I heard about the Fairchild girl.  Sounds like you have your hands full with enough to worry about that you don't need to focus on me, right?"  

Isabelle bit down on her lip.  "I suppose that's one way of looking at it," she agreed with a huff.  "But Alec, what about Magnus?  How does he feel about you?  How are you going to find out?"  

Alec turned and looked to the bathroom door, considering that for a long moment.  "You know, I don't know the answer to that," he said with a huff.  "But I think that I am going to try to find out.  Bye Iz."  He hung up the phone on her and settled back into the chair, turning his attention to the bathroom.  "I know you were listening."  

Magnus peeked his head out, looking only a little bit guilty.  "Can't blame a man for eavesdropping when the conversation is so interesting, Alexander."  

"You just wanted to hear what I said about you," Alec said, laughing as Magnus shrugged, acknowledging the point easily enough.  "And listen, I know that she cares about me and loves me and wants to make sure that I am safe and happy."  

"But you want to take some risks and chances and enjoy that?" Magnus guessed.  "With me helping you with this little curse problem along the way?"  

Alec looked at Magnus and gave him a faint smile.  "Something like that," he agreed.  When Magnus did nothing but smile back at him, Alec felt his heart turn over in his chest, squeezing painfully.  "I have an idea," he continued.  

"I'm all ears, Alexander.  Though if it involves magic, I'm going to ask you to wait until tomorrow," Magnus said, giving him a rueful smile.  "Even I have my limits."  

"I've never had an alcoholic drink," Alec said, grinning at Magnus.  "And if I had to hazard a guess, I bet that you have plenty of alcohol here.  And after the last couple of days, I would love to know what getting drunk feels like."  

Magnus lit up, his eyes bright and his smile wide.  "Alexander, that is an absolutely brilliant idea.  Shall we drink out on the balcony?"  

Alec grinned at him.  "Yes," he agreed, standing up, taking Magnus' hand to follow him out into the open air.  

Chapter Text

Once they were out there and Magnus summoned a wide variety of alcohols (insisting that this didn't count as magic usage, not with something this important) as well as other things like orange juice, but Alec didn't let go of his hand.  He wasn't ever going to let go of Magnus' hand unless he had to.  

"All right, let's start with some basics," Magnus said, waggling his fingers as he started preparing two drinks with one hand, his magic helping where necessary.  "Because part of the fun of this is figuring out what tastes good and what you enjoy, and while I am a tremendous fan of martinis, they are somewhat of an acquired taste," he continued.  

Alec blinked as Magnus poured several different bottles into a small glass and offered it to him.  "What's this?"  

Magnus winked at him with a smirk.  "That, darling, is Sex on the Beach.  Which, while entertaining sounding, is very impractical."  

"Voice of experience talking?" Alec asked, giving Magnus a look, raising his eyebrows.  

Magnus huffed at him and rolled his eyes.  "Perhaps.  Sand does not make for a good time.  On the other hand, slow, lazy makeouts on a beach during sunset?  There is nothing more romantic."  

"Noted," Alec said, keeping eye contact when Magnus' eyes flew to his, wide and gold, before he turned back to the drink in his hand.  He sipped it and wrinkled his nose a little before drinking more.  "It's good, but there's a weird aftertaste?"  

Magnus sighed and plucked the drink from his hand.  "A side effect of the vodka I'm afraid.  I like my drinks strong.  I should perhaps make them a little bit on the weaker side for you."  

"You don't have to water down your drinks," Alec said with a huff, rolling his eyes.  "Especially not when you barely let me take more than two sips, Magnus."  

Magnus reached out and poked Alec on the nose with his free hand, his magic taking over the mixing and pouring of the next drink he was going to have Alec try.  "I told you part of the fun is finding out what drinks you like, and until you build up a tolerance, there's going to be some things that you don't like."  Once the drink was done he lit up and grabbed it, offering it to Alexander.  "Now, try this."  

Alec blinked at the bright green drink and looked to Magnus.  "It looks like a potion."  

Magnus laughed in delight.  "So it does!" he agreed.  "But I assure you, no magical ingredients in this one.  Simply some colored liquor and very little taste of that biting alcohol I don't think you like."  

Alec took a sip of it and licked his lips, his eyes widening as he took another.  "This one is good," he agreed.  "What's it called?"  

"A Liquid Marijuana," Magnus teased, his eyes sparkling as he watched Alec snort into the glass before drinking down more of it.  He poured himself a martini, sipping it easily as he leaned back against the couch, still holding onto Alec's hand.  

"Hey," Alec said, giving Magnus' hand a tug.  "You look like you are cold."  

Magnus blinked in surprise as Alec pulled on his hand until he was pressed up against the shadowhunter.  He was about to protest when his hand was released, up until there was an arm wrapped comfortably around his shoulders, tugging him in close.  Alec's warmth seeped into him, even as he took sip after sip of his drink, and Magnus' let his eyes flutter shut, relaxing into him.  

"Comfy?" Alec asked, reaching up to idly stroke his fingers through Magnus' hair, marveling at how soft it was, despite the way it stuck straight up.  

"Yes," Magnus said, leaning into Alec's chest.  "Very, in fact," he managed, clearing his throat.  He sipped his martini again and leaned back against Alec, the sounds of London curling around them as they enjoyed both of the drinks, then another.  By the time they were nursing their third drinks, the sky was starting to lighten.  

Magnus pushed himself upright with a grunt, out of the warm circle of Alec's arms, and held out his hand.  "Come on, my tipsy shadowhunter.  Let's go.  It's time for all good drunks to go to bed."  

Alec snickered and carefully used Magnus' hand to pull himself upright, almost overbalancing to fall all over the table.  He trotted after Magnus and snorted when his clothes were unceremoniously changed into sleepwear and Magnus was turning down the bed for both of them.  He climbed into bed and opened his arms for Magnus.  "Come here, cuddly warlock."  

Magnus laughed despite himself and climbed in, settling into the warm circle of Alec's arms around him, even as Alexander pulled him in close.  "We're going to regret this in the morning," he predicted, yawning widely.  

"Nah," Alec whispered.  "I could never regret you, Magnus."  

Magnus' heart tripped in his chest and he wanted to lean back and ask Alexander exactly what that meant, but then Alec was snoring, making him smile.  He let his eyes fall shut and relaxed into the warmth that Alec offered.  Exactly what he wanted and needed after a major magic depletion and better than any other remedy he'd found.  

~!~ 

The next morning, Magnus blinked himself awake and was surprised when he felt Alec's hand sweeping up and down his back in slow motions.  He bit down on his lip and looked up at Alec, especially how close they were.  It would be so easy to lean in and kiss him, soft and gentle, but that wasn't what they were.  Wasn't what Alec wanted.  But then he remembered the parts of Alec's conversation from last night.  Maybe... maybe it was.   

"Magnus?" Alec whispered, his heart pounding hard as he stared back at the warlock.  He had to tell the truth because he'd nearly blurted it out last night, and if he didn't, he was going to never manage it.  "I lied to you about something yesterday." 

Magnus lifted his eyes to look at Alec.  There was a hint of embarrassment in his face and his cheeks were pink.  Which meant that whatever it was couldn't be too serious.  "Hmm?  What about?"  

"When Jia asked me what I would do if we couldn't find a cure.  I kinda gave you half the answer," Alec sighed and tightened his arms around Magnus.  "I hadn't thought about it.  Not really.  I didn’t want to, of course.  But when the Soul Sword forced me to answer, I..."  he took another deep breath and bit down on his lip before admitting, his voice soft.  "I said that I would spend the rest of my life loving you."  

Magnus' breath caught and he pulled back enough to stare at Alec, his eyes wide and shocked.  "You..."  

Alec swallowed and felt his cheeks heat.  "I, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.  But, but if we're going to spend all of this time together, I want you to know.  I want you to understand where, where I'm at."  

Magnus swallowed and cleared his throat.  "So you..."  

Alec nodded, biting down on his lip again.  "But I didn't know, what, or if, you wanted anything like that."  

Magnus stared at the remarkable shadowhunter in front of him who somehow hadn’t been broken by everything that had happened to him.  That had managed to not only escape from the cage that he had put himself in, but had somehow, impossibly, fallen right along with him. 

“Magnus?” Alec asked, his voice soft.  “Did, is that okay?”  

Magnus blew out a hard breath, trying to steady himself under the knowledge.  He looked up at Alec and smiled.  “Out of everything that has happened, Alexander, that might be the most okay thing.”  He reached up and cupped Alec’s jaw in his hand easily, sliding his thumb along his cheek.  “Especially because you weren’t the only one falling.”  

When Alec’s eyes went wide, Magnus merely grinned at him and pulled him into a kiss, exhaling slowly into it as they both leaned into each other.  The kiss was slow, gentle, and lazy, until a boom of golden magic exploded out of Alec, forcing them apart and Magnus nearly off the bed.  

“Alec!” Magnus shouted, frantic.  But the golden light was surrounding Alec and Magnus barely caught sight of Alec’s scared eyes before the light disappeared in a rush, flying into Alec, fading away as quickly as it had appeared.  “Alexander, are you all right?”  

Alec blinked at Magnus, nodding his head absently as he struggled to sit up on the bed.  “What, what happened?”  

“Apparently," Magnus said, kneeling beside him on the bed, touching his arm gently, carefully.  "I blew you away.”  

Alec snorted, glaring at the warlock briefly before sitting up properly, looking over himself.  “Horrible jokes aside, I feel okay?” he offered up.  “Normally I’d ask you to examine me, but we both know how that’ll end.”  

Magnus nodded and took a deep breath, a blue haze gathering around his fingers.  “Well, while I can’t examine you, Alexander, I can at least feel the magical power and see if I can identify what it is.”  

Alec waited, watching as Magnus continued to wave his hands around, a fine film of magic covering the room.  It moved over him without touching him and he sighed in relief, before looking back to Magnus, who appeared to be confused.  “Magnus?  Anything wrong?” 

“I don’t recognize the magic,” Magnus said, his eyes darting over to Alec.  “I’ve never felt anything like this before.  It’s not dangerous, I can feel the intent of it.  But it’s also…” he shook his head, his magic twisting in the air again.  

“Also what?” Alec asked, frowning at Magnus.  

“Pure,” Magnus said, his frown turning fuzzy.  “All magic has some sort of signature, letting you know what type of creature cast it - whether it’s Seelie, warlock, angelic, etc.”  

Alec nodded.  “Right, makes sense.”  

“This magic doesn’t have any sort of signature,” Magnus said, lowering his hands.  “And it’s all centered around you.”  

Alec looked at Magnus, whose face was scrunched and uncomfortable.  “You think you need to examine me with magic to make sure it didn’t do anything.”  

Magnus nodded.  “It could impact the curse.  And the last thing you need is for it to be out of control when you’ve only recently started getting a handle on it.”  

Alec sighed and pushed his fingers through his hair, settling back down on the bed a moment later, looking to Magnus.  “All right.  Let’s get this over with.”  

“I’ll try to make it as quick as I can,” Magnus promised.

Alec’s nod was quick and hard.  He watched as Magnus started to twirl magic around his fingertips before it was suddenly on him.  He tensed, bracing for the attack wave he knew was coming and blinked when there was… nothing.  Alec stared at the blue magic he could see sinking into him, thunderstruck.  

“Alexander?” Magnus asked, glancing at him.  Alec hadn’t moved, had only continued to sit there, tense and staring at his magic.  “Is it coming?”  

Alec lifted his eyes to meet Magnus’ and shook his head, slow and steady.  “No.  It isn’t.  I can’t feel anything.”  

Magnus blinked.  “You can’t…”  

“Exactly,” Alec said, biting down on his lip.  “I can’t feel anything, Magnus.”  

“I’m going to push more magic in you to find out what is going on,” Magnus said, moving closer to Alec.  “The second it starts hurting, tell me.”  

Alec gave a clipped nod.  Then Magnus was pouring light blue magic out of his fingers, and it was sinking into him, making him gasp.  He smiled and let his eyes drift shut.  Magnus’ magic was just like his hugs.  Warm, comforting, and endlessly gentle.  By the time Magnus pulled his magic back, Alec almost protested him doing it, but then Magnus was shuffling closer to him, his eyes wide in shock.  

“Magnus?” Alec asked, his voice tentative.  “Is everything all right?”  

Magnus stared at Alec for a long moment before he started to laugh, pressing his hands to his face.  “I have good news and bad news,” he announced.  

Alec frowned.  “Bad news first.”  

Magnus nodded.  “The bad news is that Ragnor is never, ever, going to let either of us live this down.   Ever.   Catarina too.”  

Alec blinked, confused, staring at Magnus.  “Which means…?”  

“The good news,” Magnus continued, ignoring the leading question from Alec.  “Is that you’re no longer cursed, Alexander.”  

Alec’s breath caught and he stared at Magnus.  The news felt too good to be true.  There was… Then he remembered precisely what they had been doing before the magic had exploded out of him and he burst out laughing.  “Oh god.”  

“True Love’s Kiss,” Magnus said, starting to laugh again as he shook his head, stretching back out on the bed beside Alexander.  “Looks like I just might have to become a believer.”  

Alec leaned in closer to Magnus, unable to keep from hoping, praying, with everything in him.  “The curse is really gone?”  

“I’d feel it on you if it weren’t,” Magnus told him, grinning widely.  “I know what it feels like in your blood after all of our tests.  It’s gone.”  

Alec’s smile brightened further and he started to laugh with Magnus, leaning in to press their foreheads together.  “Should you maybe kiss me again to make sure?”  

Magnus grinned and shifted onto his side and reached out to pull Alec in closer.  “Well, you know what True Love’s Kiss leads to, don’t you?” he asked, whispering the words against Alec’s lips before kissing him, soft and gentle.  

Alec raised an eyebrow at him, trying to contain the grin that wanted to escape once their lips fell apart, both of them close enough that they had to move only the barest amount to kiss again.  “True Love’s Makeouts?” He offered, stealing a quick kiss.

Magnus broke out into uproarious laughter and leaned into Alexander, both of them getting lost in their shared joy before he shook his head and pulled Alec in for another kiss.  “No, my sassy Shadowhunter.  Happily Ever After.”  

Alec’s breath caught and he leaned in closer to Magnus, unable to keep himself from grinning now.  “I like the sound of that.”  

“I thought you might,” Magnus whispered, claiming Alec’s lips again.