Work Text:
Osomatsu: Our desire to be unregrettably selfish because we don't feel loved enough. We know we're deserving of love but we are in constant need because we feel like we're lacking, to the point where it becomes overbearing. We can't express or may not even recognize how dependent we are on our loved ones' support. We let others determine our happiness too often. We'll avoid being responsible for ourselves as long as someone can be our only coping mechanism.
Karamatsu: Our desire to be self confident because at some point we cared too much about what others thought of us. We know what it's like having been peer pressured into not liking ourselves. We are naturally innocent and trusting people, and we had to learn that not every criticism should be trusted blindly. We only know how to hate ourselves or have a god complex instead of finding balance for these self confidence issues.
Choromatsu: Our desire to do what we know is right and expected of us without losing our sense of self. We used to not care about stepping on others to get what we wanted or didn't realize we had toxic behavior. We feel a deep need to point out the flaws we realized in ourselves when we see others making the same mistakes. We are hypocrites. We need to focus on fixing ourselves, not others, if we ever want to feel better.
Ichimatsu: Our desire to push everything away because it hurts too much to open up again. We are too afraid to let new things happen whether they are good or bad, we don't want to take the risk. We get lonely but having people talk about their social lives feels like an attack on our own isolation. If something goes wrong we think it's going to cause immense pain and that's why we're either a yes man, angry or distant and avoid it all together. The hurt will never go away until we learn to be honest.
Jyushimatsu: Our desire to be happy, unhinged and full of energy. We want to be liked as ourselves and bring others joy so badly that we turn into an over exaggerated version of ourselves. We try to hide any struggles with comedy or a strong face. If people don't take us seriously then we can spare them from feeling bad for us. We want no one to feel the pain we did. We know dwelling in sadness forever isn't healthy so we are constantly giving ourselves a pep talk.
Todomatsu: Our desire to be independent and self reliant. We might come off as cold because we were taught to put ourselves first. Some experience made us feel very important or we always had special treatment (like being the baby of the family). We might of had people always trying to take care of us and we want to break free of that. We want to make our own choices and had so much support that it's easy to throw it away without thinking of the consequences.
All of these are different thoughts that are shaped by experiences. If you can relate all it means is you have room to grow.
Free self care site reference: helpguide.org