Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Day One - Alone, separate “Oh where’d you go? I miss you so, it seems like it’s been forever since you’ve been gone":

“I’m so tired.” Yagi says, defeat etched into every syllable. He’s sitting by the corpse of Aizawa Shouta. He has walked past the remains of Thirteen by the entrance to the USJ facility and settled down next to Aizawa. 

Yagi has made the customary attempts to clean the blood off of Aizawa’s face and drape a piece of the capture scarf across the remains of his eyes.

Lately every day he finds his way here out of all of the places he could choose to visit in this frozen, looping nightmare. He never thought he would ever find peace in this area after the villain attack, but he stretches out next to Aizawa on the rocky ground and wishes he could sleep.

“I’ve stopped counting how many times I’ve repeated this day now,” he muses as he looks up at the clear blue sky above, “but at least my health isn’t getting any worse!” The humour falls flat on his captive audience. Yagi scratches his cheek and sighs. “I can’t face going out anymore Aizawa. Is it terrible for me to say that least there are just you two here? At least I only have to see you two.”

He covers his eyes, as if that will block out the sight of all of the dead he has seen.

In the silence he can almost hear a clock ticking away until the day resets and he will have to face the senseless carnage again.

-

In the time between closing his eyes at the end of the day and opening them to the dawn, he thinks he hears a voice calling

“Please wake up.”

-

The day resets.

Are you giving up? Is this the extent of your determination?

-

He blinks and the day fades.

“We miss you. I miss you.”

-

Again.

“What’s so interesting in your dream that you’d rather stay there, huh? Where’d you go?”

-

And again. And again, again, again, again, againagainagain again again .

There is no voice. No words of encouragement. Just the fleeting idea of someone holding his hand, just for a second.

-

Under the endless sky. Standing alone.

Is this how it works, being Number One? Watching the world drift away? 

People don’t care about him, not really. They care about All Might but that doesn’t help Yagi Toshinori. 

He knows that Sir Nighteye couldn’t remain by his side any longer, not after the argument, the prediction.

He shouldn’t be surprised that he’s alone.

When he wakes up, the first thing he sees once his sight adjusts to the light is Aizawa, alive and moving towards him.

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Day Two - Touch-starved, longing :

For a change he doesn't feel alone; now there are people who know the real him and in a school as busy as U.A, there is always someone to bump into around the staffroom.

He doesn't feel hungry, but they insist he eats. 

“It's stupid," he says, studiously looking at his hands. He rubs a thumb over his knuckles and tries not to notice the way Aizawa is staring at him. 

The silence gets to him after a moment, it always does. 

"It’s just… They seem really happy together," he says. "They're happy and in love and they're not scared of it or anything and I just... I want that, I've always wanted it," and he realizes, dimly, that he's rambling now, and he really wishes Aizawa would say something or do something. 

Anything to make him stop talking because this is embarrassing, "I want that and I don't get to have it because of the choices I made! And I don’t regret them, I can’t so it's not even that it's unfair, because I’ve done so much good as the Symbol of peace, and I’ve... always known I wouldn’t have that... but it's really lonely." He takes a shuddering breath. At some point in there he started to cry. "I'm really lonely," he gasps. 

He raises a hand to cover his mouth to stifle any sound and closes his eyes af if that would hide away his weakness. 

He can’t believe that he’s having a breakdown simply because he’s seen a couple in the park. How weak has he become? 

He’s jolted out of his downward spiral by a hand on his shoulder. He looks at Aizawa, who is flushed bright red and studiously not looking at Yagi, but his hand is warm and solid where it’s gripping his shoulder. 

“I’m…” Aizawa clears his throat, “You don’t have to be alone. If you want… I’d… I’m here.”

 It’s terrible and awkward and it doesn’t make everything suddenly magically better, but it’s a start. 

A step in the direction of maybe finding the happiness he’s not allowed himself to seek.

He reaches up to hold onto Aizawa's hand and feels the loneliness inside him start to retreat.

Maybe they’re both starved for the affection they’ve denied themselves.

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Day Three - Reverie, Wistful " Everything stays right where you left it, everything changes".

It’s strange to think about really. Aizawa, on the surface, doesn’t seem like the sort of person who puts effort into his personal relationships.

And yet.

He knows that Aizawa has been the one making sure their relationship functions, despite them working together during the school-day and in their ‘off hours’ at the dormitories.

Without realising it, this is another relationship he has just become complacent about.

He looks at Aizawa, who is sleeping on the sofa. He had clearly been waiting up for Yagi to come back from his latest “secret” meeting with Midoriya and Bakugou. 

He can imagine that if he says nothing, does nothing, then they will be trapped in this almost-a-proper relationship. They will stay together because it just about works and it is nice enough. They won’t notice when the distance becomes normal. 

It’s always dangerous, getting into a relationship with someone else who won’t put themselves first when needed.

Looking at the dark smudges underneath Aizawa’s eyes, he makes a promise.

He settles himself next to Aizawa and carefully maneuvers Aizawa into a comfortable embrace, before pulling one of the blankets on the back of the couch over both of them.

Yagi knows that he isn’t perfect and that he can be just as difficult to get along with as Aizawa is, but no one can ever say that he doesn’t try his best when he’s decided to do something.

I will live for myself, I will support and teach our students, and I will put in the effort our relationship deserves.

You have not made a mistake entrusting me with your heart .

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Day Four - Amend, defend

“I've fought through my life with fear in my heart and my mind. Now... the thought of calm, quiet and love makes me panic. I’m afraid to lose what has driven me because what will I be, if I am not All Might?”

"Human, like the rest of us." Aizawa is not one who is predisposed to offer comfort and certainly, his tone of voice is gruff and maybe just verging on gentle.

Yagi blinks and looks shocked, like he has never considered being ‘like the rest of us’. He thinks that some part of him forgot he actually is human the moment he accepted One For All from Nana.

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Day Five - Solace, fortify:

Shouta reaches out and gently runs his fingers through Toshinori's ridiculous bangs. “Toshi?” he asks quietly, not wanting to wake him if he really is asleep. 

Toshi hums in response, a barely there noise. "Do you need your pain killers?" and turns onto his good side so that he is now properly facing Shouta, who is perched on the edge of the bed. 

Toshi tips his forehead into Aizawa's thigh like it's the finest pillow they own, “No, no meds.” Shouta's mouth twitches downwards slightly at the refusal, but leans down to press a kiss to Toshi's exposed cheek. "Okay," he says, "okay." His hand goes to the back of Toshi's head as he begins to gently stroke his hair. "

Five minutes," Toshi murmurs, "just five minutes." The hand in his hair doesn't pause as Aizawa agrees "Five minutes." 

The fond warmth in his voice suggests he won't even try and get them up in five minutes. 

Aizawa let's himself relax and just rest, safe with Yagi.

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Day Six - Reunite, Harmonize:

The argument had been a bitter one. Neither had been pulling their punches and went for each other’s vulnerable spots without hesitation.

They were both tired, frightened and angry and sometimes that's more dangerous than any villain.

In the aftermath, neither want to look at each other. They exist in the same rooms with interacting and at school are nothing more than cold towards each other.

It takes three days before Shouta sighs, deep and weary. He stands and heads to the kitchen; as far as appologies go a cup of tea might not seem like much, but it will be enough of a start.

He bumps into Toshi in the kitchen, who has just put the finishing touches ona cup of coffee that looks and smells exactly how Shouta takes his.

The tentative smile Toshinori offers speaks a thousand words of 'I'm sorry I love you I miss you' before the man even hesitantly says "Hi."

"Hey," Shouta returns, reaching out for the tin containing Toshi's favourite tea.

They'll be okay.

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Day Seven - Together:

“Bravery is by far the kindest word for stupid .”

“I didn’t do it.” Yagi's response is so fast and startled that both teachers take a moment to simply stare at each other. Yagi is wide-eyed and there is immediate regret in the grimace he can’t hide. Aizawa is staring at him as he is a misbehaving student, one eyebrow slightly arched and arms folded in front of him.

“I mean,” Yagi coughs once, embarrassed before laughing, “What did the students do this time?”

Aizawa looks like he believes it about as much as Nezu does any time Present Mic tries to say it wasn’t his scream that broke all the windows. He lets Yagi struggle for another moment, before shrugging and moving to lean against the desk near Yagi, “Shinso will get down eventually.”

“Then… you want to debate the meaning of bravery?”  Yagi shuffles the papers on the desk, trying to stealthily hide the ‘Teaching for Dummies’ book under what looks like Ashido’s colourful essay. “Did you know it can be traced back to the Latin ‘ barbarus’ and was more supposed to be a … well a violent foreigner. But!” He says, waving his hands frantically, “language changes and now it means courageous behaviour!”

Aizawa marvels at how off balance he is able to throw the Number One Hero and Symbol of Peace. It’s awful how endearing he is. He makes wordless sounds of encouragement, but it seems that Yagi has succumbed to a full blush and is trying very hard to not mumble like Midoriya.

“I was,” Aizawa says slowly, leaning into Yagi’s personal space, “trying to talk myself out of doing something stupid.”

Yagi’s lips twitch and the inner battle of leaning in and not saying something is clearly warring with Yagi’s inability to let anyone else have the last word. His resolve crumples and he, slightly breathlessly asks, “Am I that something stupid?”

Instead of kissing Yagi like Aizawa has been thinking about for months , he drops his head onto Yagi’s shoulder and laughs.

Slightly hysterically.

Concern, amusement and plain fondness swirl inside Yagi as he lifts a large hand to rest on the back of Aizawa’s head, his other on Aizawa’s hip, keeping him pressed close.

“You are many things, Yagi Toshinori, but not stupid. Foolhardy,” Aizawa says, turning his face slightly so he can place a soft kiss on Yagi’s neck. “Valorous. Impetuous.” Each word is followed by a kiss and Yagi’s hand flex and hold a little tighter with each one.

When Aizawa finally looks up, they’re both blushing, but smiling at each other like the rest of the world doesn’t exist.
“We’ve been dating for a while, haven’t we?” Aizawa finally mumbles, leaning to rest his head against Yagi’s.

The warm chuckle Yagi lets out doesn’t make him feel embarrassed, just safe. “About a month. You’ve won Nezu a lot of money; I was sure you wouldn’t figure it out for another few weeks.”

Their first kiss is full of smiles, soft pressure and a tender embrace.