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Chapter Text

James thumped his head against the door. He stayed there, forehead resting, hands braced against the hard wooden surface, as if he was about to push it open. But he knew it was useless. The door was locked magically, and to his great shame, James was wandless. He would have to wait.

He thumped against the door with one of his fists, a slow, rhythmic beat. His best hope was someone would come along this corridor and hear him and decide to investigate. Hopefully they wouldn’t decide a Boggart rested in the broom closet and let it to scare the next poor soul instead.

The first three sets of footsteps obviously didn’t feel the need to investigate and carried on despite James calling for help. The next several only confirmed a growing fear that formed a pit in his stomach. The broom closet could be soundproof, and if that was the case, no one would hear the banging, much less his cries for help.

And I can’t even rely on the others using the Map, James thought, followed quickly by, Sirius will never let me live this down.

The Marauder’s Map rested safely in James’ pocket, having been put there by Sirius seconds before he took the fall for some classic but immature dungbombs, left around the entrance to the Slytherin common room like landmines. James had been on his way back from waving his mate off to a detention with Slughorn, safely hidden behind a suit of armour, when he’d gotten himself stuck.

The next time he heard footsteps he tried to shoot sparks out the keyhole with wandless magic, but unfortunately all that seemed to do was almost blind himself permanently as the uncontrolled sparks ricocheted off the metal lock and flicked back at his face, crouched close to the door handle.

It went quiet for awhile and James figured it must be close to dinner time. Traffic would be slow for awhile on the fourth floor and he settled in to wait.

Time allowed his thoughts to become inventive, and he did think grimly that all those History of Magic lessons really had given rise to some of the Marauder’s best pranks.  Feeling around the ground next to him and on the lower shelves James was able to locate several bottles of liquid. Must be cleaning supplies, he thought. Thank god the caretaker didn’t have magic.

Opening several of the bottles at once, James tipped them all into a bucket he found near his feet. It seemed about three quarters full. He set it within a short distance of the cupboard door and resumed his wait.

What felt like an age, but was probably about an hour, the dinner hour, James thought hungrily, more footsteps came. They sounded confident in their stride, and from the sharper clicks on the flagstone floor, they sounded female. Hopefully it’s someone observant, he willed as he tipped the bucket toward the door, allowing the mix of liquid to flood under the door jam and into the corridor.

The clicks stopped abruptly just south of the door. James held his breath. A faint screech and sound of distaste floated into him, before the several mutterings of what James assumed was cleaning charms given the strong smells that had admitted from the liquid since he opened the bottles started to dissipate.

After a couple of minutes of fair agony for James, who was close to being on his knees praying the person would open the door, the footsteps resumed, decidedly less clacky and confident as before. James’ heart sank, and his forehead crashed into the door once more.

That’s it. I’m stuck here. Survived multiple full moons running with a werewolf, not to mention the transition into Animagus without adequate supervision, multiple detentions in the forest, living with Sirius for an entire summer, living with my mother, and I’m doomed to die alone and forgotten in a broom cupboard. Oh, what a wretched end to an otherwise exciting life. I shall come back and haunt –

James never did get to declare who he would haunt for the rest of his days, as he tumbled headfirst into the corridor as the broom closet door was unceremoniously swung open. He just barely caught himself from smashing yet another pair of spectacles thanks to his quick reflexes that allowed his hands to fly out and hit the ground first, cushioning his fall.

“You,” a voice dripped with derision came from above. “You did this. That mess.”

James stayed low, his shoulders tensing towards his shoulders as he recognised the voice of his rescuer. Of bloody course, he grumbled to himself. The one person who’ll enjoy taking the mick more than Sirius. I should have guessed.

“What mess?” he asked innocently as he started to rise, facing out into the corridor as the voice came again from behind him.

“The bloody flood of chemicals that just ate away at my shoes,” Lily cried, with so much annoyance in her tone that James couldn’t help but turn around. By Merlin she was a vision when she was cross.

“What did I do to your shoes?” he asked, one hand reaching up to ruffle his hair as he stared down at them. They did look rather tatty, when he looked closer, and as Lily lifted one foot, the sole of the shoe remained on the ground, flapping in half to form a tongue that wasn’t unlike Sirius’ Animagus form when he got overexcited.

“The stuff must have been acidic, it corroded them until I figured out a counterspell and stopped it,” Lily said exasperatedly. “Why on earth did you think it would be funny to spill cleaning solution out into the corridor?”

“It wasn’t a prank,” James admitted with a shrug. “It was a cry for help.”

“A cry for –” Lily stopped mid thought, and her expression changed from annoyance to confusion. “Why did you need help?”

James frowned and ruffled his hair again, “I, er… well, you see… I… and then… uh… Sirius and I… then er… well… I guess.”

He was interrupted from his stammering by Lily’s peel of laughter. He blinked at her owlishly and wished he could fade back into the shadows of the closet and wait for the next passer-by.

“James Potter,” she crossed her arms, positively brimming with mirth. “Are you tell me that you, the great self-entitled Marauder, prankster, Head Boy, one of the smartest wizards of our generation, got yourself locked in a broom closet?”

“I definitely did not tell you that,” James crossed his arms as well and looked off down the corridor with a grumpy frown.

“But that’s what happened.”

“Didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“You can’t prove anything.”

“I probably could.”

“Yeah, alright,” James sighed, hands moving to his pockets as he scuffed his feet. “You probably could prove it.”

Lily grinned and tried to meet his eye, holding back her giggle. The fact she did it to avoid further emasculating the boy in front of her was not lost of James.

“In my defence, we really shouldn’t have any magically locking closets in a castle cleaned by a Squib. This was a disaster waiting to happen and I’ve really just taken one for the team. Filch should be thanking me.”

“In fairness to Filch, he probably would never have been stupid enough to get himself locked in this cupboard.”

“Oh yeah,” James kicked at the door frame. “And why’s that?”

Lily took a step closer to James, bringing herself chest to chest with him. The stray hairs from her ponytail ticking his nose as he tried not to be obvious about his deep inhale as her flowery shampoo filled his senses. She reached past him, wand extended and lit, to illuminate the previous dark space.

James could now see it was filled with hundreds of bottles, all filled with various colours and textured liquids. Some appeared to be moving, giant gas bubbles floating around within the bottle. Others appeared to have luminescent glow, pulsating in way that made James wonder how he hadn’t seen them in the dark.

“What the hell is this stuff?” he recoiled back, hitting his head on the edge of the door behind him.

Lily smirked as he rubbed the back of his head, “This isn’t Filch’s closet, Potter.”

“Whose is it?” James looked back into the closet and felt a shudder run through him. “What is it?”

“Slughorn’s storeroom for some of the more belligerent concoctions, things that can’t be flushed down the drain at the end of class if we want to have in-castle plumbing.”

“Just sitting here? For anyone to accidentally stumble upon?!” James was aghast. His fingers gently propped the already swelling bump on the back of his head.

“Well no, it’s normally magically locked and protected, so no one accidentally finds it. Slughorn normally only opens it when he’s putting things in it.  I wonder that he left it unlocked. It’s very unlike him,” Lily peered into the room again.

James felt a bit sheepish, “Yeah… well… uh, see there was… and then… and so… you see… it was probably…”

Lily interrupted his stammering yet again with a peel of laughter. This one James felt quite literally, as her hand came to rest on James chest, bracing her as she half folded over. “Let me guess, Potter. He was probably interrupted in the middle of storing some new jars by some kind of elaborate prank?”

“Er, maybe?” James hands went back to his pockets again as he shrugged.

“So not elaborate,” Lily surmised, looking at his body language. “And your alone,” she glanced up and down the corridor. “And by the fact you were stuck in there, probably wandless,” she glanced at his pockets and then back towards the closet, nodding to herself.

“Evans, what?” James’ face was one of shock as he regarded her.

“And we’re down in the dungeons, so… hmmm,” Lily tilted her head to the side, a smile forming. “I’m betting you and Sirius were caught throwing dungbombs at some Slytherins. You hid, he took the fall.”

“How did, but we were, you were, you just, and we, I mean, Sirius, that was,” James’ surprise was really quite verbally, sending Lily into yet another giggle, her hand clenching in his shirt

“I know you, Potter,”

“We’ve been on one date, Evans. That was a lucky guess,” James growled, but his hand was already curving around her hip, pulling him closer.

“You wish it was a lucky guess. I know you, you disaster,” Lily’s other hand glided up around James neck to feel the back of his head. “How’s your head?”

“Sore,” he whined, but it quickly turned to a soft moan as Lily’s fingers slid through locks of his hair, her fingernails gently scraping along his scalp. “Better now.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Hey Potter?” Lily was right up against him now, raising on her tiptoes to bring her mouth closer to his.

“Evans,” James brought his forehead to meet hers, their breaths mingling as his other hand shifted through the hair at the nape of Lily’s neck, gathering it.

“Reckon one date’s enough to get a girl a snog in a broom closet?” Her lips moved to his neck, giving it a small nip.

“Yeah, I reckon… probably… I mean, definitely,” James was cut off as Lily’s lips fairly slammed into his own, soft, insistent, and utterly mind robbing. She pushed him back, urging him back into the closet he spent so long trying to escape.

James gathered her up, lifting Lily by her thighs against him as he eased backwards. Lily’s wand closed the door behind him, and her legs wrapped around his waist as he pushed her back against the solid wood. Her wand clattered to the ground as both her hands twisted into James hair. Their lips formed a seal as they slid and tugged at each other.

Lily moved back to James neck, leaving a trail of tingling kisses that had him moaning again, tipping his head back to give her better access.

“You were wrong, you know,” he couldn’t resist pointing out, given his mouth was unoccupied. His hand slid further up Lily’s leg to grip her bum as he spoke.

“About what?” Lily sounded incredibly distracted as she worked on the top button of James’ shirt.

“We didn’t chuck them. The dungbombs,” Lily stopped her attentions on his neck to look at him in confusion. “We planted them around the Slytherin Common Room like those war fields you were telling us about. So, they’d stand on them and get hit.”

Lily stared at him for a long moment. “I don’t know whether I’m seriously appalled that that’s what you took from that story, or seriously turned on that you actually listened to me.”

James took the opportunity to have his own tryst with Lily’s neck, while one hand moved under her shirt and up her back. “You did call me the greatest wizard of our generation. Hopefully it’s the later,”

Lily gasped as his lips sucked gently as her pulse point, “Definitely the later.”

Chapter Text

"Pass, Meadows, pass, damn you!!!"

Lily winced as James scream directly in her ear. His hand held hers in a vice like grip that she had given trying to extract from. He watched the players above them without blinking, and was headless to the fact they couldn't hear him.

"Padfoot, protect Terry for Merlin's sake!!! Do your job."

Lily took a small sidestep away from James, trying to preserve her hearing. The tug that put on their linked arms finally drew his attention. Aided in no small way by the goal Dorcas had just scored. Gryffindor was now a comfortable score away from Hufflepuff, even without the Seeker's points.

He looked over at Lily, looking slightly surprised, "Where are you off to?"

"Just over here," Lily shuffled slightly more toward Remus, pulling her hand free as she went.

Remus looked down at her amusedly, then across at his friend. "Reckon she's trying to make sure she doesn't go deaf Prongs."

James blinked, and then turned a little sheepish. "Sorry, I guess I'm a bit loud."

"Banshee-like," Peter agreed from his other side.

Lily couldn't help nodding despite James crestfallen face, "It's okay, I know your passionate. It's Quidditch, after all."

James looked back at the sky, at the players, and then at the screaming Gryffindors surrounding them in the stands. "I just... I just wish," he trailed off, glancing back up again.

"You just wish you could be up there," Lily finished softly for him. She moved back across, pushing her fingers into his hair and giving them a light toussle. "You heard what Pomfrey said though. Two weeks off. You have a,"

"Concussion," James scoffed. "It's nothing. I'm fine. I should be up there."

"Next time. This isn't even the final. You'll get your chance."

"As long as they don't mess up our chance for the cup," James grumbled even as he snuck an arm inside her cloak and around Lily's waist.

"They're doing fine," she assured him. "You've trained them well."
James continued to grumble even as he pulled Lily closer into his side.

They watched the teams above them, crossing back and forth in a blur of swirling colours. The quaffle traded back and forth, Gryffindor scoring two and Hufflepuff three, bringing the result of the game back into the caption.

"I hope Terry's looking," James muttered, scanning the sky for the third year.

"She's likely doing little else," Lily pointed out dryly.

"Cattermole has a lot more experience than her. And she's so tiny. If it comes to a chase, I don't want her getting hurt," James frowned, his arm squeezing.

She fairly melted at his obvious concern and protectiveness for the tiny seeker, "Terry will be fine, you'll see."

James dropped an absent kiss on the crown of her head, his eyes trained above. Lily snuggled into his side, watching the match but really also watching him.

"FOUL!" The exclamation from all three Marauders surrounding Lily caused a significant cringe and a ringing sensation in her ears. She looked up to see Sirius smashing a bludger, aimed straight for the face of Sean Lockhart, a Hufflepuff Chaser. He stopped long enough to smile when it collided into Lockhart's nose with a sickening crunch, before turning to consult with the tiny Gryffindor seeker at his side, who had been struggling back onto her broom. Gilda Terry gave the fourth Marauder a determined nod before zooming off again in search of the snitch.

Beside Lily, James was still shouting at Hooch to call something. "Honestly, this can't be good for your concussion," she muttered, rubbing her ear.

James glanced down, another wincing, sheepish smile crossing his face. "Sorry, Evans. I guess I'm a bit er, passionate about Quidditch."

Lily stepped closer into James, "S'alright, love. I can't really complain, when I like your passion in so many other areas." Her hand move to the belt of James' pants, her fingers dipping underneath to caress the smooth patch of skin there.

Not a minute later the crowd exploded into cheers and groans of dismay as Gilda Terry floated above the pitch, golden snitch fluttering softly in her triumphantly raised fist. The Gryffindor captain barely looked up at the sound as he focused his mouth instead on the red headed girl beside him.

Chapter Text

“Guys, I’ve decided. It’s time. I’m calling it,” James announced as he walked into Sirius’ flat and flopped unceremoniously onto the couch.

The boys were silent for a second, all looking at each other, before everyone started to speak at once.

“No, Prongs, think about this.”

“We’ve been over this mate, it isn’t going to make you happy.”

“You just need to give her time, she’ll come around.”

James held his hands up to stop the onslaught. “This isn’t really up for discussion guys. It was more of a PSA.”

“A what?” Peter frowned.

“Public Service Announcement,” Remus nudged Peter as he filled him in. “James, I really don’t think you want to do this. You’ve waited so long to get to this point.”

“You’ve really pulled out all the stops already, mate. Hell, you’ve even convinced me the bird is actually worth all this effort. Think about how long it’ll take to convince me to like someone else,” Sirius said quite seriously.

“And think of everything she’s helped us with. You probably aren’t going to find another girl like her that will actually look your way,” Peter pointed out.

“But I’m a bloody miserable,” James groaned, sitting forward, head in his hands. “All these years, all this time and look where it’s gotten me. Absolutely bloody nowhere. I have no idea where her head is at, what she feels, where this is all going – if it even is going anywhere! I barely know right from left, up from down. It’s doing my head in and I really can’t cope much longer without exploding.”

“Have you tried talking to her about this mate?” Remus asked gently.

James shrugged, “I tried, but you know what she’s like. Queen of avoiding anything she doesn’t want to talk about, sticking her head in the sand and never pulling it out. Feelings, emotions, and the future are pretty high up on her list of not to be mentioned topics.”

“She’s got to know what this is doing to you though,” Sirius muttered, looking cross despite his love for the girl in question. “She knows you almost as well as I do. She has to realise it’s tearing you apart.”

“I’ve gotten good at hiding how I’m feeling when she’s around. At long last, I finally have a poker face,” James sighed.

The boys fell silent for a long while. James kept his head in his hands, staring down at his trainers. Sirius sat next to him on the couch, side on so he could face James without twisting. One hand rested on James’ back in a gesture of comfort. He frowned so hard Remus worried his face might really stay that way. Remus himself sat stiffly in the armchair, deep in thought, trying to come up with a solution. Peter pulled idly at the rug from where he was sprawled on the floor.  

Eventually Sirius broke the silence was a heavy sigh of his own, “So, this is it, huh.”

“The end of an era,” Peter agreed.

“Are you sure, James?” Remus tried to catch his friend’s eye. “Is this really what you want?”

James sat up, straightening his back, rolling his shoulders. He looked resolute. “It is. I swear it. I’m breaking up with Lily Evans.”

Chapter Text

Lily huffed moodily into her drink, stirring the frozen marg listlessly as she stared blankly at her unlit phone screen.

“Come on, Lil, come dance with us,” Marlene begged as she popped back to the table for a sip of her own cocktail. Lily could barely hear her over the thumping music and screamed conversations of the club patrons as they dance, drank and cavorted with each other in the popular nightspot.

“In a minute,” Lily waved her off.

To her dismay, Marlene slid into the booth next to her rather than returning to the dance floor with the rest of the group. It said a lot for their friendship that she was willing to ignore Sirius’ shimmying hips even for a moment. “If he hasn’t text you, why don’t you just text him? Especially if you are just lab partners, like you keep telling me.”

“We are lab partners,” Lily grunted, taking another long drink of tequila and lemon slush.

“Then why are you so upset that he isn’t here?” Marlene prodded with a smile, reaching over to slide her finger along the salt rim of Lily’s glass. She popped the crystal laden finger in her mouth, licking off the salt with a lascivious grin out across the table, away from Lily.

“I’m not upset,” Lily glared at her, “Oi, quit using my drink to make eyes at Black. It’s gross.”

“I don’t complain when your making eyes at James. And he is my childhood friend. I’ve seen that boy in the bathtub. He’s practically my brother.”

“I don’t make eyes at James.”

“And I bet you wouldn’t like to see him in a bathtub either, huh?” Marlene ducked to avoid Lily’s swatting hand. “Alright, alright. But seriously, Lil, just message the bloke.”

“He said he’d come tonight if practice got out soon enough,” Lily shrugged, placing her phone down and looking out across the crowd.

“So, message him to see where he is. Even lab partners can do that, surely,” Marlene encouraged. “Text him and then come dance with us. You’ll be all hot and sweaty when he gets here. He won’t be able to resist.”

Lily shook her head, “I keep telling you, it’s not like that.”

“It is for him,” Sirius interjected over Marlene’s shoulder as he leant low over her to snag his own drink from the table. His other arm laced loosely across Marlene’s chest, thumb caressing her collarbone as he straightened.

“What?” Lily’s head flew up, her posture straightening. “Did he say something?”

“James? About you? Always,” Sirius took a drink, cool as a cucumber, clearly enjoying Lily’s visible sweat and discomfort as she tried to process this information without showing how important it was to her. “But what does that matter to you, if he’s just your lab partner?”

“It doesn’t,” Lily shook her head.

“So, you’d be okay if he asked someone else to dance when he finally gets here tonight?”

Lily shrugged, “He can dance with whoever he wants to.”

“And if he took them home?” Sirius ignored Marlene’s elbow in his side as Lily frowned. “Cause, Evans, he’s into you, but if you keep playing it cool like you are, he’s going to want to move on at some point.”

“We’re lab partners,” Lily protested, but it sounded weak even to her ears.

“You can be lab partners who also bone,” Sirius wiggled his eyebrows. He reached down to grab Marlene’s hand, pulling her up and toward the dance floor. “Anyway, you should probably make up your mind, because he’ll be here in like 10 seconds. To the floor, Mars.”

“What?” Lily sat bolt upright in her seat, looking where Sirius pointed.

James was indeed making his way across the crowded club, weaving and ducking around elbows, drinks and bodies. His hair was curling and looked likely still damp, like he’d come in a hurry, his glasses catching all the multicoloured flashing lights as he looked around for his friends. Lily couldn’t look away from his forearms, exposed muscle where he’d rolled up the sleeves of his light grey dress shirt, open at the neck for the perfect club look. His pants were fitted, his silver belt buckle glinting as the strobe caught it as he neared the edge of the dance floor.

The crowd parted for a second and James looked up at the right moment to catch Lily’s eye. He broke into a broad grin, transforming his handsome face and sending butterflies flapping Lily’s stomach and warmth spreading all the one down to her toes as he moved toward her. She smiled back before she could even think about it, standing to leave the booth as if drawn to him by a magnet.

Alright, Lily thought, maybe we’re not just lab partners.

Chapter Text

Lily jerked upright as the timer on the oven went. Her movement caused the teacup resting next to her hand to tip, spilling cold liquid in a flood across the dining table.

“Shit,” she muttered tiredly, rubbing at her eyes and vanishing the mess.

She struggled to her feet and stiffly made her way back to the kitchen. The chocolate cake looked almost cooked, only a bit wet still in the middle so Lily reset the timer for a few minutes longer. She leant on the bench top with her elbows, ignoring the flour and cocoa strewn across it like muddy snow.

She looked across the room at the mantle clock that displayed a time that suggested she shouldn’t be in the kitchen. But it also displayed a time that meant her boyfriend should be home, which caused a clenching in her chest and a nausea in her stomach, as well as frightening her back awake.

Moving unconsciously, Lily began to assemble ingredients together. Butter and sugar were creamed within an inch of their lives, before being drowned in eggs, vanilla, flour and chocolate chips. She scooped and rolled and flattened monotonously, barely pausing to wipe her hands clean as they became covered in gooey mixture.

The cookies went into the oven, a new timer set, just as the chocolate cake came out. She put the cake next to the other racks to cool and set about cleaning off the bench with an industriousness that should have worn the Formica right off the top. So involved in her scrubbing was she, Lily didn’t even notice the door open until it shut, as the same time a voice spoke.

“Uh, have we turned into a bakery then?”

Lily gasped and looked up. James stood in the doorway, tired and filthy, with a confused expression on his face. He looked around the room, causing Lily to also look. Muffins, cookies, croissants, cinnamon scrolls, donuts and bread filled almost every available surface. Pans piled high in the sink, and flour was everywhere. There was enough feed to an army, or at least, the Order.

“Ummm,” Lily shrugged her shoulders sheepishly. “I couldn’t sleep.”

James crossed the room, ignoring how filthy he was to take her in his arms, pressing her head into his chest. Lily melted into him, greedily sharing his warmth, inhaling the scents of sweat and smoke that so often accompanied him these days.  

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, pressing kisses to the crown of her head. “It took longer than we thought. I should have sent a message.”

Lily pushed back to look up at him, holding his face, “You couldn’t have without risking your position. It’s fine. I just…” she cast another look around the kitchen, “stress baked, apparently.”

James smiled, reaching up to brush some flour from Lily’s cheek, his thumb remaining there. “It smells delicious. I can’t wait to eat all of it.”

Lily pushed herself up on her toes, pressing her lips lightly to his as her hand on his back slipped down under his waistband. “Anything else you can’t wait for? Cause I can think of a few things.”

She laughed as James caught her under her thighs, lifting her up easily as her legs wrapped around his waist. Her arms encircled his neck as she took in his bright grin, all signs of tiredness vanished from him.

“Actually, there is something,” James nuzzled Lily’s neck, delighting in her gasp, as he started to walk across the room. “A shower, and I reckon you need one too.”

The cookies burnt to a crisp with no one to watch them.

Chapter Text

“I can’t believe I have detention,” Lily grumbled as she picked her way over fallen logs, branches, vines and puddles. “Bloody Marlene. It’ll be fun, Lily. No one will know, Lily. Pffff, where’s she now huh? Left me here to rot, she did.”

James tried not to laugh out loud as he walked next to her, holding the pails and a shovel they would need for their punishment. Lily had been grumping and groaning since Hagrid had directed them into the forest, and it had been solidly entertaining.

“I mean honestly, who was she kidding? Of course, someone was going to notice us sneaking down to the Pitch. And, of course, they were going to tell someone about it. And that someone would come just in time to see us streaking. Honestly, that is the last time I let her talk me into firewhiskey on a weeknight.”

“Wait, what?” James stopped short, Lily’s words finally registering in his brain.

“Huh?” Lily froze, almost tripping over some uneven rocks as she turned to look at James. She seemed to be a bit surprised that he was standing next to her, like she’d forgotten he was even there.

“What did you just say?” James asked, feeling the sides of his lips twitch up as he held back a grin.

“Nothing,” Lily shook her head. “I was just talking about, um, er,”

“You were talking about how you got detention,” James supplied.

“No, I wasn’t,” Lily started to turn a bit pink. “I think we just have to go this way a bit further to find the plants Slughorn was looking for.” She motioned for them to continue.

James looked in the direction she pointed but didn’t start moving again. He looked back at her, “Well, if you weren’t talking about it before, how did you get detention, Evans? S’not like you.”  

“It’s not important,” Lily answered hastily, she took a couple of steps forward, looking frustrated when James didn’t follow suit.

“Then why won’t you tell me? Had to be bad for Slughorn to give you a detention. That man worships the ground you walk on.”

“What did you do then?” Lily looked a bit triumphant, like she didn’t think James would answer.

“Dungbombs in Filch’s office,” he shrugged. “Unoriginal, but always entertaining. It’d been a quiet week.”

“I thought you were better than that, Potter,” Lily tsked quietly.

“There is always joy to be found in the simple things, Evans. So, what did you do?”

“I, didn’t do anything.”

James raised his eyebrows at her emphasis on the word I, “So what did Marlene do?”

“Who said Marlene’s involved?”

“You did. When you were muttering.”

Lily sighed, “She’d probably tell you herself if she was here. But the bloody bint turned and ran before he could catch her.”

“Slughorn?”

‘Hmmm. He caught us when we were halfway across the pitch.”

“Doing what?” James tried not to grin again.

Lily looked more awkward than before, her cheeks now a brilliant shade of red even in the dark gloom of the forest, “Er, jogging?”

“Taken up exercise, have you?”

“For the health benefits, yeah?”

“I’m not sure if it’s considered healthy to run around in the cold completely starkers, Evans,” James couldn’t help the chuckle that came out, even as Lily’s jaw dropped.

“That’s not what, I wasn’t even talking to, how do you even know, streaking could mean anything,” Lily changed sentences fairly quickly as she tried to think of a way out of James picturing her naked.

“I’m pretty sure it means the same thing to Muggles, that it does to wizards,” James smiled apologetically. “Though normally when wizards do it, the whole point is someone is around to see it.”

“Great,” Lily frowned crossly. “Can we just get on with it now, before I die of embarrassment? Merlin, it was bad enough to be caught by a professor. I don’t need the whole school knowing.”

James motioned Lily forward, and this time fell into step beside her as she moved off. “You don’t have to be embarrassed; you know. Sirius has done worse.”

“Really?” Lily looked at him out of the corner of her eye but didn’t turn her head as she focused on where she walked.

“Got caught lying naked across McG’s desk, waiting for a bird to show up.”

Lily’s head swivelled so quickly to look at him she forgot to focus on the forest debris and caught her foot on a vine with her next step. She stumbled, falling forwards, and was saved from hitting the muddy forest floor face first only by James’ arm, shooting out to catch her around the waist.

“Shit, sorry, Evans,” he eased her upright, making sure she was stable before slowly releasing her.

“What do you have to be sorry for? Thanks for that,” Lily didn’t quite meet his eye as she brushed of her cloak and straightened her clothes.

“Hearing about Sirius naked is probably enough to make most people fall over,” James grimaced.

“Not my best mental image. What happened?”

“Probably what you expect. McGonagall was furious, screeching and trying to figure out where to look. Sirius almost fell of the desk trying to cover himself up, things were, er, flying everything.”

“Oh, my God,” Lily whispered, the muggle swear showing how rattled she was.

“To be fair, I don’t think she would have given him the second month of detentions if he hadn’t tried to use her own tartin quilt to cover himself up,” James shrugged.

Lily’s hand rubbed across her eyes and forehead as she tried valiantly to banish the picture her imagination conjured up from her brain. “Of course, he did.”

“She’s probably lucky she’s so terrifying that he didn’t try to proposition her, he’s that confident. Imagine if it was Professor Bond.”

Lily shuddered as she thought of the young, pretty, female DADA teacher, “Oh, Merlin, he probably would have too.”

“Bet your little stunt doesn’t seem so bad now,” James suggested with a gentle smile.

“No,” Lily shook her head. “No, it doesn’t. I at least had my undergarments on. And it was pretty dark on the pitch, so Slughorn wasn’t really able to see anything before I could summon my clothes. He was more upset by the fact I was out drunk after curfew; I think.”

“That is a bit unlike you,” James nodded.

“Marlene had just broken up with that Ravenclaw seventh year she’s been dating,” Lily explained. “She wanted to let loose a bit, she’d found him so stuffy.”

“Ah.”

“I mean, if you really think about it, the fact that I’m the one who ended up in detention is really your fault.”

James stared at her, “How do you figure that?”

“Well, when Slughorn shouted at us, we both took off in the opposite direction. Only I can’t run as fast as she can, cause she’s so bloody fit from all that Quidditch training you make her do,” Lily looked so indignant, James had to fight back a laugh again. “So, she got away scot free and I’m stuck in detention.”

“Don’t see you complaining when we win our matches,” he teased.

No,” Lily agreed, as she reached over and took the pail out of James’ hand. “Only when it lands me in detention.” She motioned to the plants just in front of them. James hadn’t even realised they’d continued walking as they’d spoken. “So, I reckon, you can do the digging here.”

“Like I was going to do it anyway,” James rolled his eyes.

“Fair warning,” Lily grinned as she took several steps back. “The flowers are vicious.”

“Of course, they are,” he muttered, cautiously stabbing the shovel in the dirt. “So are the ones in the ground.”

Chapter Text

He found her at the top of the Astronomy Tower. She often went here to think. He’d come to know it was a bad day place, a long day place, and sometimes, a happy day place.

He was hoping today was a happy day.

“You’re missing the party,” he commented as he took a seat next to her. His feet hung low past the balustrade as he looked down over the castle grounds.

“So are you,” she responded. “And it’s your party, Captain.”

James smiled as her shoulder nudged his. “It’s a house party.”

“You got us over 100 points on your own,” Lily raised her eyebrows at him.

He shook his head, “I was assisted on nearly all of those. And the beaters kept my path clear. Quidditch is a team sport, Evans, you know that.”

“Well, our team was led by an incredibly talented, hardworking, demanding Captain,” Lily insisted. “I would know, Marley’s been talking in moans and groans for the last two weeks.”

“She should have worked on her cardio over the holidays like I told her.”

“The game is on broomsticks, Potter. Running isn’t really relevant.”

“My plan won us the game, didn’t it?”

“Oh, so now you won the game? What happened to the team?”

“What happened to all those compliments you were giving me,” James grinned. “Let’s get back to those.”

Lily rolled her eyes, “I think your heads quite big enough there, dear.”

James’ grinned widened at the pun Lily didn’t even know she was making, “But I think you missed a few of my best points.”

“Such as?”

“My dashing good looks, my charming smile. Obviously, my great sense of humour, not to mention my full head of hair.”

“If you do say so yourself,” Lily reached up to tousle James’ hair, that despite his shower, still looked as if he’d just got off his broom. “Honestly, Potter, what kind of compliment is having a full head of hair? Your seventeen, not seventy.”

“You spend a lot of time with Slughorn,” James protested. “Maybe you had a thing for older blokes, I don’t know. Thought it was worth a mention.”

Lily smirked at the thought of the Potions professor’s terrible combover, that failed miserably to hide a large, shiny dome on the top of his head, before grimacing, “Yuck, Potter,” she pushed him a bit harder this time. “Yuck, yuck, yuck.”

James gripped the concrete edge of the wall they sat on, even as his eyes’ glinted mischievously. “Merlin, Evans, have a care. You’ll push me over the edge.”

“I can only hope,” she responded dryly.

“Now, now. Head Girls that go around murdering Head Boys do not get to be Aurors, no matter how many NEWTs they get,” James tutted.

“Good thing I’m smart enough that no one would ever know it was me. And sweet enough they’d never even suspect,” Lily gave him another playful shove.

“And so bloody charming and gorgeous even if they did, they’d probably help you hide my body,” James muttered darkly as Lily’s cheeks reddened slightly.

“Oh no, Marley would help me do that,” she said confidently, trying to brazen out the flutters in her chest. It wasn’t like James didn’t say things like that to her often. The frequency had definitely increased since Christmas. “I have enough dirt on her she’d never turn traitor on me.”

“An ideal secret keeper then,” James nodded approvingly, raising his hands in surrender. “Very well, have at it. I won’t even put up a resistance seeing you’ve got it so well planned.”

Lily reached over and pushed the closest hand back down to the brick and mortar between them, “Sorry, Potter, not today. If I killed you so early in the term, they’d only replace you and I’d have to break in a new Head Boy.”

“Wouldn’t that be a shame?”

“It really would. It took forever to teach you the points system. Imagine if it was Diggory! He’d never get a handle on the fractions.”

“See, I knew you only wanted me for my numbers,” James placed a hand across his chest. “You wound me, truly Evans.”

“Oh, shush,” she patted his hand where it rested next to her leg. “You know I wouldn’t want anyone else.”

“Yeah,” James caught her eye and smiled gently. “I know.”

Lily looked out over the dark castle grounds as they lapsed into silence. It was a cloudless, starry night, ever the chillier for the lack of cover. But the stars reflected off the lake in the distance and cast eery shadows from the trees and buildings on this side of the castle. She shivered, and realised she was holding her arms around her body, the cold not having registered during her conversation with James. It was a constant theme these days, tuning everyone and everything out when James was around. The girls loved to take the mick out of her for it.

A warm, heavy material settled around her shoulders, blocking out the cold. Lily swivelled her head to look at James, who shrugged a bit as he brought his hands back down from arranging his cloak around her.

“It’s cold,” he said simply.

Lily shook her head, “But now you’ll be cold.”

Ignoring James’ protests, she carefully shuffled closer to him on the wall and moved the cloak so it covered them both. This brought her into contact with James in several places and Lily felt her heart flutter again and her skin alight with every connection. Their shoulders, upper arm, elbow, hips, thighs, knees. His warmth seeped through her and she fought the urge to simply melt into his side. They lapsed back into a comfortable silence, listening to the faint notes of music drifted up to them from Gryffindor Tower.

“What brought you up here Lily?” James asked after a while, his voice soft.  

Lily took a few moments to answer. “It’ll probably sound silly.”

“I live with Sirius,” he reminded her. “Try me.”

“I was just,” Lily paused, sighed, and started again. “I was just sitting there in the Common Room, watching everyone dance, and drink, and have a good time. And I couldn’t help thinking, we only have a little bit of time left. Only one more Quidditch match, a couple more Hogsmeades. Soon enough it’ll be the end of Spring, exams and we’re gone. It’s all ending.”

“Hey, hey,” James placed a hand on her knee, squeezing gently as his heart clenched at her despondent tone. “It’s not all ending. Not all of it.” Lily looked at him with a weak smile and James just wanted to see its proper version. “All your mates will be still be there. Helping find your way.”

“I know,” Lily placed her hand over his, looking down at them.

“And I’ll still be there, Lily,” he murmured softly. “I’ll always be there.”

When Lily looked up, she wasn’t even surprised to see how close they were. James was leaning toward her, and she was leaning too, taking up all the empty space between them. His breath travelled across the cool air between them, mingling with hers in visible puffs. Their foreheads almost touched, their noses mere millimetres apart.

“Good,” she whispered.

“Yeah?” James’ eyes were so warm as she looked into them.

“Yeah,” she squeezed his hand. Her tongue slipped out to wet her lips before Lily even realised they’d gone dry and her heart and breath caught as one as she watched James’ eyes drop to follow her movement. “I’ve gotten used to having you around.”

“Good,” James echoed her earlier words. Softly and slowly, as if afraid he’d startle her and break the moment, he moved even closer than Lily thought was possible given all the space already felt taken up. The hand on her knee flipped over to link their fingers together, sliding further up her thigh. His other hand came across to grasp her jaw, tilting her face up as his lowered, until their noses nudged together.

Lily squeezed James’ hand in a bid to reassure herself this was real, he was real. She realised she hadn’t let out her breath yet, and surely that was the cause of the stars she suddenly found them surrounded by. She exhaled just as James’ lips dropped to press lightly onto her own, the gentle warm touch utterly robbing her mind of all but one thought.  

Finally.

He pulled back and looked down at her for a moment. Lily willed herself to move, to breathe, but there was too much emotion, too much everything for her heart to contain and for her brain to function. So, she just stared up at him, with what was most likely a fish out of water, confounded beyond recollection expression on her face.

Attractive, she was sure.

“Is,” James spoke so quietly, sounding suddenly so unsure, Lily barely recognised his voice. “Is this okay?”

Lily still couldn’t form a word to save her life. So, she did the only thing she could think. The hand that until now had still gripped the ledge beside her reached up, sinking into the silky mop she’d tousled earlier. Her fingers curled and gripped, pulling at the strands of hair caught between them. She pulled James’ head down the few inches that it had moved away and leant her body into him to keep her balance as she reached up. Their bodies pressed together as she pushed her lips back to meet his.

James took a second to register the kiss but responded with the enthusiasm she’d come to love him for. His lips moved over hers in a gorgeous slip and slide, tugging and pulling at her bottom lip before his tongue glided it. As her mouth opened their tongues mingled together, exploring as did their hands. James found Lily had let go his hand to push her own into his hip, gripping and pushing, making him tense and soften at the same time. His now freed hand reached up to mirror the other, cradling her face and adjusting their angles to reach more of her, feel more of her.

After the longest time they broke apart, each breathless and dazed as they looked at each other. James couldn’t help the beaming smile that spread across his face as he looked at those sparkling green eyes.

“That,” Lily eventually managed to say, feeling euphoric all the way down to her toes, “Was more than okay.”

Chapter Text

It had all started so innocently. Basic Chemistry. Literally, it was Chemistry 101. A simple experiment, powder, solutions, test tubes, Bunsen burner, a beaker or two. It should have been a straightforward lab class, nothing to write home about.

As Lily crouched under the desk, trying to see through the smoke that clouded the room, hoping to determine if the flames had been extinguished yet or if anyone was actually hurt, she wondered how it had all gone so wrong.

Forty-Five Minutes Earlier…

James ran into the laboratory at a breakneck speed, skidding to a stop in front of the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen in his life. He ruffled his hair nervously, aware he was 15 minutes late for the first practical lab, which was based on the lecture from the previous morning. He had no clue what today’s experiment was about, but he knew the class required 100% attendance. Given he had been on the other side of campus goofing off with his mates when the class had started, he was pretty proud of his effort.

“Your late,” the girl declared, shoving the plastic container filled with science-y stuff into his arms. James grasped it automatically, wondering if his punishment would be having to sort it all out.

“Sorry,” he managed to stutter, “Flat battery.”

“You live on campus,” the girl declared with a raised eyebrow.

“How do you know that?” James’ mouth fell open. Surely, he would have noticed someone like her in his dorm. The hair was definitely as eye catching as it was stunning. He would have seen her.

“My friend Marlene’s the RA for Gryffindor,” the girl explained. “I think she’s dating your friend, Sirius? She pointed you two out the other day.”

“Oh, yeah,” James nodded slowly. “We met the other day at the coffee cart. She’s lovely.”

“She’s a hot mess,” the girl smirked. She glanced around the room and then back at the equipment in James’ hands. “Your last, which means you’re doing the experiment by yourself. Everyone else has already partnered up. The front bench is still free, so let me know if you need any help.”

“You’re the TA?” James asked curiously. She didn’t seem any older than him.

The girl nodded, “Professor Slughorn’s given me the basic labs this semester. You attended the lecture though, right? Know what your doing?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” James didn’t tell her he’d slept through most of it.  

“Well,” she motioned to the bench behind, “Good luck then.” She turned back toward the desk, marking off the attendance sheet so James considered himself properly dismissed.

He headed to the bench, dumping the container down with a slightly worrying crash. He winced, then tried to smile good naturedly to the nearby students who looked up in alarm. James began to pull things out, mostly recognising them thanks to his dad’s determined home science classes. He dragged his lab book from his backpack, thumbing it open to the correct page.

Only reason I took this class was so Dad would be pleased, he thought. And then immediately knew it was unfair. Fleamont didn’t care what his son studied, as long as he enjoyed it. But by God James felt a pressure to make his dad proud, and Fleamont had been pleased as punch when James had told him he wanted to take a chemistry class.

Sneaking a glance at the bench to his left, James started to assemble the equipment as shown in the textbook. He connected the Bunsen burner to the gas, placing the tripod, gauze and beaker over top. The two vials of solution they were meant to be testing sat in the rack fixed to the bench, ensuring he wouldn’t knock them over accidentally. James tripled checked the diagram, trying to make sure everything was in the right place.

“Here,” James jumped slightly when a hand smacked a glass jar onto the bench next to his equipment. Lily smiled apologetically. “Sorry. I figured I’d help you catch up a little bit. This is the first powder to test. You can get the other two from the back of the room when your ready.”

James smiled back, feeling his ears tingle as he realised how frazzled he must look compared to the others in the class. Most people appeared to have already tested their first solutions and were moving onto the second. There was a gentle murmur of studious intent. Christ, he gulped. Some of them even had lab coats on.

“Uh, Cheers, uh,” he realised he didn’t know her name. Glancing down, he caught the edge of her staff swipe card and managed to glean a name. “Lily Evans. Thanks, Evans.”

Lily raised her eyebrows again. “No problem,” she hesitated for a second, looking down at his set up before considering him again. “You sure you were in the lecture?”

James nodded enthusiastically, then realised he was putting too much energy in, and tried to scale back. “Yeah, yeah. Right in the back. You probably just didn’t see… Not that I think your blind or anything. Obviously, that’s me,” he gestured to his specs, “But you know, lots of students. Probably just missed me in the crowd.”

“Right,” Lily looked at him slightly wide-eyed, clearly wondering if he was safe to be left alone with an open flame. “Well, I’ll just,” she didn’t even finish her sentence, just moved off to another bench, and likely students who weren’t complete idiots.

“Right, right,” James checked the lab book again, and following the instructions, dumped the blue solution into the beaker to be heated. “Now, I need a flame.”

He lit a match and held it up over the top of the Bunsen burner. But it wouldn’t light, and James almost singed his fingers as the match burnt down. He tried a couple more times, sneaking looks at the other benches. Everyone else had a pretty blue flame. Why didn’t he?

“Is the vent open?” Lily came over to his bench, having noticed his incompetence clear across the room. She leant down to look at the burner, bringing her so close into James’ space he could smell her perfume.

“Uh, I think so?” James rubbed the back of his neck, taking a discreet step back. It really wouldn’t do to start fancying his TA this early in the semester.

“Yeah, that’s not it. Maybe there’s a break in the piping,” Lily ran her hand along the length of the burner pipe to check. She stopped when she got to where the pipe connected to the gas meter under the bench. She paused, and then looked up at him. “You didn’t turn the gas on.”

“Oh,” James froze. That seemed like a pretty basic mistake, even to him. “Uh, oops?” he tried. “Must have been moving too fast and skipped it.”

“And the fact the match wouldn’t light didn’t clue you in?” she looked at him like he was a sandwich short of a picnic.

“Guess I’m having an off day,” he attempted a shrug, but really wanted to melt into the floor. Why couldn’t the cute girl be a subject he was actually good at, like his life drawing class. No, James, don’t think about her in your life drawing class.

“What was your name again?” Lily pulled what James assumed was a class list out of her back pocket.

“James,” he tried his most charming grin. “James Potter.”

“Well, you’re on the list,” Lily confirmed with a resigned nod. “Want to tell me how you got in this class when you don’t even know how to turn the gas on?”

James felt uncomfortable now, “Uh, well, you see.”

He was interrupted by a snort from the bench behind him. He turned to see Fabian Prewett, one of his football team comrades working on his own experiment with his brother, Gideon. They had a lovely blue flame and a bubbling solution over at their bench, James noted with jealousy.

“You right, Prewett?” he couldn’t help but glare.

“Fine, Potter,” the tall, broad goalie grinned. “Probably better than you. At least my dad didn’t get me into the class.”

“Our dad couldn’t get you into this class,” the identical boy next to him grinned. “He isn’t a world-renowned bloody chemist.”

James shot them a glare that said they’d pay for that next training and focused on his bench with all he had. He reached under the desk to turn the gas on, lighting his Bunsen burner successfully this time. He pulled his lab book toward him to read the next instructions, desperately hoping Lily would just move onto the next student if he looked proficient enough.

“Potter,” she murmured. “Potter…. Potter.” James knew all too well that she wasn’t really saying his name but trying to figure out who his father was.

“Sleakeasy,” he muttered, giving his solution a bit of stir. He felt Lily look at him strangely, so elaborated. May as well get this over with. “My dad, he invented Sleakeasy. The hair products.”

“Your dad is Fleamont Potter?” Lily asked incredulously. “And you can’t even turn gas on?”

“Yes,” James sighed, willing his solution to bubble. “My dad invented the best hair products in the UK, and I can’t light a Bunsen burner. It’s hilarious.”

“It’s a bit strange,” Lily commented. James could feel her eyes on him, curious but her tone was more cautious, clearly sensing his touchiness.

“Yeah,” he tried not to sigh again.

“What’s your major?” she asked. “I’m guessing it’s not Science?”

“Art,” James smiled tensely, “I’m actually good at that.” He opened the jar she’d placed on the bench earlier and set about measuring the required amount on the scales.

“Then why are you taking a chem class?”

James shrugged, giving up on his experiment to face her. She tilted her head at him, more considering than he’d seen her look since his late arrival. “I just wanted to be a good son for once,” he admitted. “My dad’s always tried to get me interested in chemistry, doing experiments at home, trying to blow stuff up, risking my mother’s wraith even. He tries so hard I thought the least I could do was let him get me into this class. He and Sluggy go way back.”

“That’s…kind of sweet actually,” Lily broke into a wide smile and James couldn’t help feeling like someone had turned the lights on.

“Yeah, well –“

“Your about to boil over,”

“What? Oh, god –“ Whatever James was going to say was lost as he realised Lily’s dry comment was not a dig at his personality, but an observation on his experiment. The blue liquid had finally heated enough and was now threatening to spill over the edges of the beaker. He hurried to turn down the flame.

“Well, at least you know how to do that part,” Lily sighed as someone called her name from the back of the room. “Try not to blow anything up and I’ll come back and help you finish.”

James focused on his work after she left, determined to prove he could do this, despite barely knowing his way around a lab. He decided that when Lily returned she would see he wasn’t a complete idiot, and then maybe he could ask her out. He tipped the powder into the blue liquid and was delighted to see it turn the same yellow he’d seen in the Prewitt’s beaker.

“Nice, Potter.”

“Shut it, Prewitt.”

James went to the back of the room, where shelves were filled with various chemicals and substances. He found the shelf labelled for this prac, and quickly identified the two powders he didn’t have at his desk. Before he could grab it however, he was distracted by the most melodic sound he thought he’d ever heard.

He turned to look over toward the window, where Lily had tipped her head back to laugh at something one of the other girls had said. Dorcas, James thought her name was, who was also in his photography class. Lily’s eyes lit up as she laughed, and her hand reached out to touch Dorcas’ forearm. In an instant, James imagined making Lily laugh like that because of him. But not because I’ve failed at this bloody lab.

He grabbed the jars without a second glance and strode purposefully back to his bench. A quick glance at the instructions showed that he needed to add the first jar directly to the yellow mixture and bring it back to boil before adding the final substance.

“And, there we go,” James hummed to himself as his beaker started to boil again, but then he frowned. He turned to check the other benches, his concern growing. Where everyone else’s experiments remained a mellow yellow, James’ had turned a red hue as it bubbled away. He consulted the lab book, which said nothing about a red stage, but figured that maybe it would return to yellow once he added the final component.

“Alright there, Potter?” Lily called. “Why’s that red?”

“It’s all fine,” James sang back blithely. He was determined he’d complete the experiment before she got back to him. He could hear her steps coming closer. “Just adding the final part now.”

“Hold on, let me just check it. Potter, James, no, wait!” Lily’s cry came seconds too late as James tipped the last powder into his beaker.

“See, it’s all fine,” he grinned, looking back at Lily even as she frowned. “Look, it’s turning back-“

“Get down! Everyone!”

The next thing James knew, his words were cut off as Lily pushed him down under the bench. Before he could even protest, a loud bang went off on the table above them, shards of glass and pieces of metal raining down, smoke filling the room.

James watched as Lily surveyed the laboratory. She pursed her lips, and he tried not to think about how adorable her frown was as it turned on him. “Potter,” his name fell exasperatedly from her lips. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t,” before James could protest, Lily grabbed his hand. Actually, James thought she was grabbing his hand, but she was really reaching for the jar still in his hand.

She groaned as she read the label, “Potter. This isn’t what you were meant to add. It’s a bloody explosive if you add it to the other stuff.”

“It was on the shelf,” he protested.

“It was one shelf over from our lab,” Lily shook her head. “Didn’t you check?”

James thought back, and grimaced, “I guess I was a bit distracted.” He prayed she wouldn’t ask by what. He peeked out, and then ventured out from under the table. “I think it’s as safe as it’s going to get,” he told her, offering her a hand back up.

Lily took it and gingerly stood up. She looked around the destroyed room, and then back at James, “Well, Potter, no one is going to partner with you after this.”

“So, I’m out?” James felt like he’d let his dad down tenfold.

Lily shook her head, “Worse. I’m going to have to partner with you to make sure we all get through the semester.”

James tried not to break into the grin he knew was inappropriate. Maybe I should blow things up more often if it ends up like this.

Chapter Text

“Lily, that man just lit his cigarette in public,” James whispered to her urgently. “He did wandless magic and everything, right out in the open!”

Lily looked over at the man in question, sitting on a park bench opposite the cinema they were waiting to enter. A puff of smoke rose above him. “What are you talking about?”

“He put the cigarette in his mouth, and then lifted both hands up, and when he took them away, the cigarette was lit. It was like magic,” James pulled at her arm.

“You’re acting like you haven’t seen that before,” Lily said dryly.

“But with his hands! In a muggle area. We aren’t allowed to do that,” he continued to stare at the man, who had noticed and was now regarding the teenagers strangely.

The man finished his cigarette, dropping it on the ground and stubbing it out under his shoe as he stood and turned to leave. As he did, he pulled out another smoke from his back pocket, and held it up to his mouth.

“See, see, watch, Lily, watch,” James bounced on his toe and tapped repeatedly on Lily’s shoulder. “He’s doing it again. He’s doing it again!”

“Would you quit that?” Lily pushed at James even as she turned to look at the man again. After a second her eyes widened and she smirked. Before James could ask about it, Lily had run across the road and called after the man.

“Lily, what-“ James watched in confusion as she had a quick discussion with the man, he handed her a couple of things from his pocket. She passed him something as well and ran back to James.

“Lily, what was that?” he asked as soon as she was off the road.

“Come here,” she pulled him out of the theatre line and away from the crowd a bit.

“Lily, we’re going to miss it. It’s starting soon,” James whined even as his feet obligingly followed her. His jaw dropped when she pulled out a pair of cigarettes instead of responding. “You smoke?”

“Not normally,” Lily held one out to him and motioned for him to put it between his lips. “Here, you wanted to see how the magic worked.”

James followed her movements and held the small cylinder up to his mouth and looked at her curiously. He saw flash of yellow in her hand as she lifted it up, the other sheltering the cigarette from the breeze. Two clicks sounded and all of a sudden a flame appeared out of Lily’s hand. She held it up to the cigarette end, and as James gasped in disbelief, it set alight.

“What?” he gaped, through the cough of a rookie who’d never inhaled before.

Lily giggled, “Alright, Potter?”

He thumped his chest a bit, “I live with Sirius,” he croaked. “This is not my first time.”

“Sure, sure,” she laughed at him, before lightening her own cigarette with another click of her hand. She took a practised drag, laughing again as James gaped at her.

“We’ll get to your unexpected coolness in a minute,” he shook his head. “Though I don’t know why I’m surprised. But will you bloody well explain to me how you keep doing that? I didn’t know you could do wandless magic.”

“There’s lots you don’t know about me,” Lily began coyly, and then relented at his frustrated expression. “Okay, okay. It’s this. A lighter.”

She held out a small yellow tube with a silver top. She flicked part of the silver metal a couple of times and a small flame appeared. As she released the metal, the flame disappeared again. Lily shook the lighter close to James’ ear and he heard the slosh of liquid inside.

“It’s fluid,” she explained. “It lets off a gas that’s flammable, and when you click the metal, it sets off a spark that ignites the gas and causes the flame.”

James took it from her, turning it over in his hands before trying to use it. It took him several goes to get the hang of the clicker, but eventually he got the hang of it and produced a flame himself. “Amazing,” he marveled. “Would you look at that.”

Lily took another drag of her cigarettes, “Just like magic,” she agreed. She dropped the half-smoked tube and stubbed it out, before tossing it into a nearby bin. “Now come on, or we’ll miss it.”

James tossed his own smoke and took her arm as they followed the rest of the movie goers into the theatre.

"A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...."

As Lily tried to read the opening lings crawling up the screen, she was distracted by a clicking sound to her side. As she looked over, James’ face lit up with a small yellow flame from the lighter. A weary sigh was heard just before the music swelled.

Chapter Text

The actual breakup itself went pretty much how James thought it would. Lily seemed initially surprised, and then sat on her couch silent, stoic and stone faced as he explained his reasons. He would have thought she wasn’t listening, or worse, didn’t care, until he realised that silent tears were forming tracks down her cheeks. They ran unchecked, dripping off her chin onto her green shirt. James’ favourite shirt. It made her eyes an even brighter green.

He shook himself. Don’t get distracted. He talked about how they should move forward. How they could work together, fight together without letting this get in the way. How their feelings weren’t as important as the cause. She couldn’t really argue with that, could she? It was the reason they were having this conversation in the first place.

Eventually he ran out of words. There was nothing to do but leave. He sighed, staring at Lily for several long minutes from across the lounge. He told himself he was committing her face to memory. The roundness of her cheeks, the curve of her jaw, the fullness of her lips. But he didn’t need to. It was burned in his brain. She said nothing, her gaze fixed on the carpet at his feet since he stopped speaking. Finally, he turned to leave.

“Guess I’ll see you soon.”

His feet felt like lead as he walked toward the door. His shoulder stooped like he was carrying another person on his back. His chest ached in a way he thought it might physically crack open at any second.

“Wait.”

He stopped at the sound of Lily’s voice. James turned just as Lily collided with him. His hands went instantly into her hair, burying themselves in the long, voluminous locks. Her hands gripped his cheeks, his jaw as she pulled his head down to her. Her nose nudged his once, twice, before her lips found the angle and pressed urgently to his. He moved his lips against hers, his tongue pushing gently until she opened her mouth to him. Lily pushed up onto her toes to get closer, bringing their chests firm against each other. James dropped one arm down, looping it around her small waist to pull her up and take some of her weight, melding their bodies into one. Tears continued to flow down her cheeks, leaking into their kisses, giving a poignant salty flavour that James knew he’d never forget.

All too soon, her lips were ripped from his as Lily pulled herself back abruptly. James refused to let her go. He rested his forehead on hers as they both struggled with long, shuddering breaths. “I love you,” he whispered reverently.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered back. Her eyes were closed, her hands sliding from his face to grip the collar of his shirt.

“I know,” James eased his grip from her, taking a small step back. Lily released him easily. Before she could open her eyes and he would have to look into them again, he turned and left the flat. The door closed with a soft resounding click behind him.

He walked like a man possessed, practically jogging down the steps, striding down the street to the Apparition point. As he did, he pulled the mirror from his pocket and practically growled at it.

“Sirius.”

At once, his friends face appeared, frowning and tense. “Prongs.”

“It’s done.”

Sirius winced, but nodded. “We’re all here. We’ve got you. Just come home.”

“Cheers.”

Sirius disappeared from the mirror as James shoved it roughly into his pocket. He could hear his stomping footsteps echoing down the abandoned alleyway as he turned into, a dry, aching sob reverberating off the dank brick walls back at him as he ducked behind a bin, turned on his heel, and was gone.

*****

The days turned to weeks turned to months. It never got easier to think about, to be around her, to live without her. Every fibre in his being spent every second he wasn’t fighting for his life, fighting for others life, fighting for her life thinking about her. He couldn’t help it.

The boys were… his boys. They sat with him in silence when he wouldn’t be distracted. They gave him firewhiskey when he wanted to escape. So much firewhiskey he probably shouldn’t have a liver anymore. They listened, nodded supportively, made reassuring, positive affirmations to his points as he raved, wearing out the carpet in front of the fireplace as he paced endlessly back and forth. When he needed to get that restless energy out, signing himself up for mission after mission, raid after raid, duel after duel, they watched his back, ensuring he didn’t get himself killed in his blind rage.

He should have been dead really, the way he was living. And living was a loose description of what he was doing. He was a risk, all impulse and emotion, anger and action. He knew Moody was aware of it, concerned about it, often shaking his head or frowning to himself as James put his hand up time after time at meetings. But it was getting harder and harder to recruit people to their cause. Harder and harder to trust those that hadn’t been there since the beginning. He didn’t have much choice and needed every available wand.

He didn’t know what she thought of it. He’d developed the blinkered view of a skittish racehorse anytime he was in a room with her. He hadn’t so much as looked at her in the eye since that day. He was worried that last kiss would play in his mind again. The desperation, the passion, the love would all come back to him. Make him think about her in a way he just couldn’t anymore. The briefest thought of his life before would send him in the field, rash and risky in a way that made even Sirius want to hold him back.

She didn’t seem to be having the same trouble. She was methodical, practical, efficient and effective. She followed leads, examined clues, discovered leaks, planned many of the missions that James carried out. But their contact was minimal. She had become a strong tactician, as well as a proficient healer, Moody didn’t want to send her out unless he had to. Couldn’t afford the downtime if she was hurt. There was no one to replace what she could if the outcome was worse.

When they did need to directly interact, he stared at her right ear. He was pretty sure from the angle of it, she looked at his left shoulder. Most of the Order knew their relationship, or lack thereof, but it was more comfortable for everyone involved if they gave the outward appearance of civility. She gave him orders, he nodded, asked questions if he had to. She wished him luck in a plain, toneless voice and he went to risk his life for a better world. He came back, reported everything he could remember in the same expressionless tone, and went home to sleep and recover before he had to do it all again.

As a rule, he never went to her when he needed healing. Remus was the best of them at the charms, having first learnt from himself, and then spent years patching them up after full moons and mishaps. His knowledge was sufficient, and his touch didn’t burn. His touch didn’t invoke memories of soft holds, whispered moments and a forgotten warmth that had once reached all the way to James’ soul. So, to Remus, or to one of the others he always went.

Except one night, when he was the last back, hours after everyone else because he’d been trapped, injured and alone, waiting for a safe moment to attempt apparition. Waiting until he felt like he was strong enough to not splinch himself, even though it felt like he was already missing body parts and several pints of blood from a hex he hadn’t even felt.

He staggered into the safe house’s front room, unable to shout for help, unable to do much more than collapse onto the couch, holding his chest and his stomach together as best he could. He heard footsteps quickly though and thanked Merlin for the alarms on all the doors that had announced his arrival when he couldn’t. The room was dark. Even if he had opened his eyes, he wouldn’t have been able to see who it was that came. But at the first touch, he didn’t need to see. The spark from her fingers as she brushed back the hair from his face gave it away.

“James,” she whispered. “Shit…”

He felt her fingers move down his body, felt like he was being electrocuted with each gentle prod. He heaved a shuddering breath, feeling the last of his energy drain away from the effort it took.

“I thought you were dead for a second,” she murmured.

“Not yet,” he managed to grimace out, wincing as she started whispering spell after spell and he felt the magic pull painfully at the wounds, cuts and abrasions that littered his body.

“Sorry,” she sounded apologetic. “This is going to take awhile and it’s probably going to hurt.”

“S’fine,” he assured her. “I’ve been worse.”

Lily grunted but didn’t respond. James tried to stay awake, tried to fight through the pain of being stitched back together, but it hurt worse than being pulled apart. Worse for the fact that she was one doing the pulling, worse for the fact her touch still made him feel more alive than he had in weeks, worse for the fact he knew when she had finished, he’d never feel it again.

But the pain, the exhaustion, the blinding fear and terror of his last few hours took their toll and he passed out at some point. When he did finally wake, the room was light. Rays of sun shone weakly through the undrawn curtains and drapes, casting strange shadows across the floor. As James blinked, the room a blur, he could make out a shape on the other side of it.

He felt around for his glasses and found them placed carefully on the arm rest above his head. Putting them on, he shifted his head, trying not to release a moan as he felt pulling pains throughout his... well everywhere actually. With better vision now, he realised the shape was Lily, curled into an armchair far from the fire, far from him. She slept, her chin tucked into her chest, arms crossed over her chest, bare feet tucked into the crevice between the seat cushion and the chair frame.

James let himself look at her in like he hadn’t since that day in her flat. Her hair was longer, but listless and dull like he’d never seen it before. The vibrant red that had made her stand out in a crowd, that meant he could always spot her immediately despite her shorter stature was a flat faint memory. Her cheeks seemed hollow, her jawline standing out against her pale skin as if she’d lost weight. She hadn’t had any weight to lose, he thought with a frown. Dark black blue shadows smudged the skin under her eyes with a depth that made him want to run his thumb across them, erasing the bruise like marks from view.

Before he could continue his tortured examination, Lily woke. Her eyes didn’t open, but she stirred, stretching and adjusting from the discomfort of her position. Those seconds gave James time to roll himself over, and stare at the ceiling. The donning of his glasses meant he couldn’t pretend he hadn’t woken, but he could at least present the idea that he hadn’t been watching her sleep like a drunk watches his whiskey being poured into a glass.

Starved.

Desperate.

Dependent.

“How are you feeling?” he heard her ask softly.

“Alive,” he replies, trying not to wince at the flat tone that emerged. He’d become the master at masking his emotions in a way he’d never had to in the rest of his life. “Thanks to you.”

“S’nothing,” he felt, heard, rather than saw her cross the room. He felt, heard her cast several diagnostic spells while he kept his eyes trained to the architraves above him. He felt her soft touch again, burning him as she checked a still healing wound near his heart. He heard her hiss as his body ignored his internal pleas, tensed and shied away from her touch. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” James swallowed hard. Clenched his jaw. “Am I okay to apparate?”

He sensed, heard, felt the tension transfer to her body, the frown that was undoubtedly marring her beautiful face. “Why do you need to apparate?”

“To go home.”

“James,” she hesitated, sighed. “You don’t have to, you can-”

“Am I well enough?” he cut her off tersely, eyes still trained to the ceiling, practically melting the paintwork with his intensity.

“Yes,” she signed again. “You can apparate.”

“Good,” he sat up, ignoring the searing pain that just went everywhere, ignoring the room spinning as he moved too quickly after losing too much blood. He swung his feet around to sit on the edge of the couch, Lily standing and moving back to give him room. He looked at his old friend, her right ear.  “Thanks again.”

“James, you don’t have to go,” she tried again, her voice pleading.

“I do.”

“You lost a lot of blood. You need to rest.”

“I can’t do that here.”

“James, this is stupid,” she sounded so lost but James hardened himself.

“Has anything changed?” he challenged her harshly. He forced himself to look directly into her emerald green eyes and was rewarded with a flash of pain he knew he’d put there. “Has anything changed that means I should stay?”

Lily broke eye contact first, looking away, looking at his feet, the window, the dying fire. “No,” she admitted quietly.

“Then I have to go,” he tore his eyes away from hers and moved toward the door, ignoring the protest of his body and the swimming of his head. “I have to go.”

And he did.

*****

Things continued as if it had never happened. Meetings, missions, exchanging orders and information. James recovered quickly thanks to Remus’ help, and the blood replenishing potion that arrive shortly after he woke at home, having passed out almost as he finished apparating.

It might have been easier if he could pretend they had never happened. Like all those moments, days, nights, had never happened. That he had never had everything he’d always wanted only to have it be not everything he’d always wanted. But he couldn’t. Every memory he had of her, of that time, taunted him in the worst moments. In the quiet moments, on stake outs, before the order to attack, the silence of goodbyes to friend after friend, member after member of the order.

Remus held him up for the worst ones. Marlene, Gideon, Fabian. He leaned on the young werewolf, grateful for his strength. Grateful for his love, his friendship, his never-ending presence. He leant on Remus as he bade his best friend, his brother to hold up the woman he would never call his again. Sirius did this without question, taking the small woman in his arms as she sobbed, wailed, as her legs gave way and she curled into the smallest ball of a human as her best friends were lowered into the ground.

The loss of the girls changed her. James recognised the change in her because he’d seen it in himself. She became reckless, lacked control, lacked restraint. The intelligence was still there, the smarts and the cunning that could have put her in a different house if she hadn’t lacked the courage and bravery she was so admired for. But the sweetness, the humanity, it had been eroded, concealed under the dirt they’d thrown to bury their friends.

Potions that started to turn the war in their favour were imagined, created, and used in a battle that had become even uglier than James had thought possible. Lily used her knowledge of Muggle World Wars to create poisonous gasses, the vapours robbing their enemies of sight, of sense. The worst robbed them over their life without them being aware the fight had even started.

James knew she would burn out. She wasn’t made for that kind of fight, that kind of rage, that kind of revenge. He argued with Moody, with Dumbledore until he was blue in the face. He gave them all the reasons they needed to hold her back. He pointed out that if the war was going to take every part of her that made her who she was, then what was she even fighting for. What was he fighting for.

But they wouldn’t be told. Her work was turning the tide. They were finally winning without losing more than they gained. They were on the front foot instead of the back. The casualties were piling up on the other side instead of theirs.

“No,” his voice cut through the general murmur of those present at the meeting. Heads turned to where he stood.

Moody looked up at him, “This isn’t a discussion, Potter.”

“No,” he repeated, louder and harsher than before. “That isn’t happening.”

Lily looked at Moody, before looking at him. He tried to focus on her right ear, but his gaze strayed to her eyes and locked there when he realised she had abandoned his left shoulder to look directly back at him. “It’s the only way,” she said quietly. “I have to do it.”

“No, you don’t,” he argued. “You don’t go into the field. You haven’t for months.”

“No one else can do this,” she tried to explain. “It’s complicated, and finnicky.”

“And risky,” he was aware of the looks he was getting, the nudges and glances between the other Order members. They hadn’t spoken to each other this much in front of others since the split. They had spoken to each this much at all since the split.

“Necessary,” she countered.

“I’ll do it,” he turned to Moody to plead his case. “I got my NEWT in Potions as well. I have more field experience, and I know the area. I’ll do it.”

Moody shook his head, “The person setting it off needs cover. I need your wand fighting, not setting it off.”

“There are others that can fight,” James tried to protest. But he could see the answer in Moody’s eyes before the man even spoke. Knew what the result would be.

“No one will protect her like you will, Potter,” the older man raised his eyebrow at him. “Do you disagree?”

He couldn’t argue with that. Didn’t even bother to try. There was no point. Despite everything he would give his life for her. Always would. Without a though, a blink, a hesitation.

No one else would protect her like he could.

The building was dark as they approached. Silent, without lit wands, moving swiftly and smoothly over the grounds surrounding it, Order members coming from all directions to surround it. Only the small main group entered the building, after Molly, the wards proficient, took down every last one. She and Arthur remained in the front entry, nodding as the rest continued past them further into the building.

It appeared empty, but James stayed on high alert. Never had he deliberately put himself in a place where there was no exit strategy, no way to escape except fight their way through. And now he was doing so with his brothers and the woman he loved, not that he could even tell her so.

He had argued with Remus, with Sirius, that they shouldn’t all go. Peter had never been considered with the main group, not being strong enough with attacking spells despite his defensive brilliance. He remained outside with the others, ready to prevent anyone entering should things go wrong. The other two had all the skills, but why should they all be risked, he had argued. They had given enough to this Order. But he had known it would be a losing battle. They would go where he went every time. He loved them for it even as his heart clenched in despair.

James clapped Sirius on the shoulder as he and Lily gave their own silent nods of farewell and left him with Remus and Kingsley to spread around the room as they went to the hearth. James turned his back to it almost immediately as Lily knelt down and started pulling things out of the small enchanted bag that had been slung across her shoulder a moment before.

“How long?” he muttered after a few minutes.

“Two minutes,” she whispered back. “I just need to, oh, shit,”

James didn’t even have to ask what had happened as he heard the sound of something heavy and metallic hit the marble floor. It echoed and echoed through the room, and he saw all three men tense in their positions without turning to look.

“Sorry,” Lily whispered frantically. She scrambled to pick the object up and started moving with a greater haste. “Do you think –“

Her question went unfinished as a crack sounded and a house elf appeared in the middle of the room. Before anyone could silence it, the gnarled creature let out a roar.

“Master, Master, they are here. They are here!”

The elf departed with another crack, but multiple pops filled the room in his place. Black robes swirled through the air, billowing as the lurid yellow, angry red, brilliant blue lights of curses, hexes and shields filled the room. Kingsley, Remus and Sirius moved back together, forming a half circle defensive wall to separate James and Lily from the Death Eaters as they filled the room.

“Lily, now would be the time to hurry,” James muttered urgently as he cast shield after shield across the five of them, letting the others focus on the attack.

“I’m trying,” she fired back, sounding panicked. “It won’t bloody set.”

“Lily,” he took a moment to glance down even as everything in him reinforced the shield. Her hands were shaking. She was good in a duel, cool and calm, he remembered. But she was in the middle of a battle with her back turned. Anyone would be terrified. “Lily,” he said with a greater strength. “I’ve got you. Take your time. I won’t let anything happen.”

He heard, rather than saw, her deep settling breath as he tore his gaze back to the battle. The shield was starting to splinter and he knew it wouldn’t be long before the weaker curses started to sneak through as the stronger ones already had done. He reinforced it again, feeling strength drain from him like he never had before.

I will not let this fall, he willed himself. I can’t.

“Nearly, done,” Lily stood and turned, firing several hexes out past the others even as she did so. “Let’s go.”

“I can’t,” James muttered even as he shouted for the others to apparate as he did so. Sirius shot a Patronus out to let those outside know to retreat before disappearing after Kingsley and Remus.

“What are you talking about,” Lily continued to fire curses even as she reinforced James’ shield that had closed around them. “We have 30 seconds until we go bust with them.”

“I don’t have the energy left to apparate,” James muttered. “Not through the wards Molly couldn’t take down. I’ve used too much. Just go.”

“I’m not leaving you here,” Lily argued, looking at him without breaking her wand walk.

“You have to,” James argued. “Lily, go.”

She reached out and grabbed his shoulder, “I’m taking you with me.”

“You can’t side-along, not through the barrier,” he tried to shrug her off without releasing the shield. He roared, “LILY, GO!”

“No,” she shouted back even as she turned on her heel. James felt a pull behind his navel that jerked his wand arm, breaking the shield. He heard the start of the blast from her device. He saw several lights flying towards them as his eyes closed of their own accord and he braced for impact.

Only he swirled instead, spinning for several long moments, his only sense the clench that Lily still held his shoulder in. As he landed, his hand instinctively sought the arm that held him, clutching at her forearm as he tried to stay of his feet.

Lily moved in front of him, holding him up in a hug, her small arms sliding under his armpits and encircling his back. The burn he usually felt from her was replaced with a gentle warmth as James hugged her back, unable to prevent himself from transferring some of his weight to hers. He’d never felt so drained in his life, even when she’d had to patch him back together.

“Alright, Potter?” she asked.

He groaned, “Bloody dandy.”

“You idiot,” she murmured into his neck, her nose nudging at his pulse point. “Why did you cast such a strong shield charm? It could have killed you.”

“Still might,” he opened his eyes as he pulled back slightly. He saw they weren’t far from the building, a few trees deep into the small forest that stood at the back of it. “We need to get out of here.”

Lily nodded, “I didn’t want to go far trying to get through the wards. But if your okay, I’ll take us back.”

James nodded wearily, “I don’t think I can do it alone.”

“I’ve got you,” Lily grasped his forearm as he did the same. At his nod, she repeated her earlier movement and felt another pull. But this time when his eyes closed, they didn’t reopen on landing. Lily was too small and too slow to catch him as he pitched forward onto his knees, his hands flying out at the last second to prevent him breaking his face on the floor.

“Merlin.”

“Thank goodness.”

“Prongs.”

“We thought you were -”

“Evans.”

“Potter.”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“Quick, quick, lift him up, bring him here.”

Voices swirled around James’ head as he tried to breath, tried to open his eyes, tried to do anything that wasn’t collapse. He felt himself be lifted under each shoulder, felt the familiar tobacco and leather scents of his brother and the parchment and chocolate fragrance of his best mate as they carried him to a flat, soft surface. He felt a gentle touch to his face, carrying notes of vanilla as it warmed his skin.

And then, there was nothing.

*****

A long time later, the world started to exist again. It took what felt like days to wake, weeks to move a finger, let alone a limb, months to open his eyes. James had never experienced such a drain of his energy, his magic, his everything like he had.

Eventually though, he was able to do those things. He was able to sit up by himself, have a drink of water, speak to his friends. The day he managed to take the mick out of Sirius they knew he was coming back to himself.

One afternoon he woke to find Lily sitting on his bed, her hip pressed against his, her hand holding his in her lap as she watched him.

“Er, ah, hi,” he croaked, trying to clear sleep from his throat. He reached with his other hand for his glasses, and frowned when he saw tears in her eyes. “Am I dying?”

“You almost did,” Lily didn’t eye roll at his joke as she’d expected, and James frowned even more.

“Lil, what’s wrong,” his voice caught as he realised he’d used his nickname for the first time in a year. “What’s happened?”

“You risked everything for me,” she whispered, clutching at his hand with both of hers.

“Of course, I did.”

Lily shook her head at his tone, causing tears to fall from their well. “You almost died because of me.”

“It was my job,” he reached to brush the tears from her cheek before covering their other hands, holding them together.

“It wasn’t, no one else would have tried to shield us all,” she protested.

“You had your back turned,” He muttered. “I can’t imagine how that must have felt when the fighting started. The others were outnumbered. I had to make sure nothing happened. I couldn’t let anything happen to you.”

“It wouldn’t have been your fault if it did,” Lily tried to say. “You did tell me not to go.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he brushed aside. “It’s not about that.”

“What’s it about then?”

“You know what it’s about,” his eyes found hers as they always did and held them there.

“Tell me anyway,” she whispered as another tear fell and James felt his heart clench as he whispered back.

“I can’t live in a world where you aren’t in it.”

Lily gripped his hand harder, squeezing until James thought she might actually bruise herself. She tipped forward over their hands, and he felt the wetness of more tears as they fell directly down onto their twisted grip.

“Lily, what’s this about?” he asked in confusion. “You already knew that. That’s never been the issue.”

“No, the issue is I’m the biggest coward that ever got sorted into Gryffindor,” she said as she straightened. Tears continued to streak in a maze of tracks down her face, but she brushed James’ attempt to dispute her words aside. “No, I am. You can say all that to me after everything I’ve done, everything I’ve done to us. You can say something like that. You can practically kill yourself. You would have given up your life and let me leave you there, but I couldn’t do the one thing you asked of me.”

“Lily, it doesn’t matter. I know why,” James started, but was cut off again.

“No, you don’t know why,” she thumped their hands against him in her desperation to make him listen.  “You thought I said what I said, that I answered how I did was because I didn’t love you. Or at least, I didn’t love you as much as you loved me.”

“I know you loved me,” he said gently.

“But I still hurt you. Merlin,” she sighed. “I’ve been hurting both of us. For months now. And you don’t even know why. I never even gave you a reason.”

“It doesn’t matter –“

“It does! It does matter. It matters that I loved you with every fibre of my being. It matters that I loved you so much that I could not let you get yourself killed for me. Fight this war, risk your life day after day, for me. I loved you so much that I had to let you go so that I wouldn’t be the reason you weren’t here. Weren’t in this world. We shouldn’t know a world that doesn’t have James Potter in it. I can’t live in a world that doesn’t have James Potter in it.”

“There’s a lot of past tense there,” James couldn’t help pointing out. “Why does any of this matter now?”

“Because it was all for nothing,” she cried. Another smash of their hands, against his chest now as she leaned forward. Leaned closer. “You risk your life anyway. You almost died for me anyway. I have to watch time after time as you walk out of here, following a plan I made. Time after time I have to wait, and hope, that you’ll come back again. It was all for nothing because it’s all happening anyway. And your doing it all without even knowing…”

“Knowing what,” James asked as she fell silent. “Knowing what, Lily?”

She was quiet as she looked at him, his breath caught in her throat. The hand that rested on the top of hers squeezed, and her gaze flicked down to them for a split second before meeting his once more. They were so close now, their foreheads almost touching as she whispered.

“That I still love you with every fibre of my being. That I love you more than anything or anyone in this world. You do all of it without even knowing that I still love you.”

James pushed forward, ignoring his protesting muscles as he closed the gap between them. His hand curled into her hair, cupping the back of her head to stop her pulling away. But he shouldn’t have worried. Lily met him halfway there, lips pressing into his. Warmth spread from their points of contact across his whole body and he felt a surge of energy that he hadn’t since the mission.

Lily pulled back for a second and looked at him, “I mean it, James. I love you.” A hand ran through his hair, cupped his cheek as another tear fell.

“I love you too, Lily,” he whispered back before bringing their lips back together. He leant back into the pillows, pulling Lily with him. Her hands came to the pillow on either side of his head as she held herself over him. They found a rhythm quickly, as if it hadn’t been an age since they’d kissed. As if they’d never stopped.

Eventually Lily pulled herself back and he tried not to protest. Tried to hold back a whine. She must have seen it in his expression though, because her lips turned up at the edges.

“James,” she bit her lip as she stroked the side of his face. “You asked me a question once, and the answer destroyed us both. This isn’t fair of me, I have no right to ask, but would you ask me again?”

James stared at her, trying to read the expression in her eyes, feeling shock, disbelief, before a strange sense of knowing, familiarity, rightness settled over him. A happiness that he hadn’t felt in a long, long time took hold of his heart and thumped out a strong, euphoric beat.

“Lily Evans,” he took her hand from his face and kissed it, “Will you marry me?”

Chapter Text

“It’s your turn.”

“Not it’s not.”

“It is your turn.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I picked last time.”

“I picked last time.”

“No, you didn’t. I did. It’s your turn.”

“Well what do you feel like?”

“That’s cheating!”

“No, it’s not, it’s being considerate.”

“It’s also cheating. If I knew what I felt like we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“You’re fussier than I am.”

“No, I’m not. Honestly, just pick whatever you feel like and I’ll eat it.”

“If I order it, will you at least go out and get it?”

“…”

“Really?”

“I’m already in my pyjamas! I haven’t got a bra on!”

“We’ll probably get a discount.”

“I’m not going. Just pick something that can get delivered.”

“Well that narrows down the options.”

“See, I’m helping.”

“Delivery, delivery. Okay, how about…”

“Something healthy.”

“It’s delivery food. Healthy isn’t the objective.”

“No, I already ate so much junk this weekend. Something with veges in it.”

“Do you just want to pick?”

“No, it’s your turn to pick.”

“It kind of sounds like you want to pick.”

“Jaaaames, I don’t want to pick.”

“Alright, well, what about pizza?”

“No, not pizza.”

“Why?”

“Too unhealthy.”

“Lil, you said I could pick.”

“Just not pizza. Please.”

“Don’t bat your eyelashes at me woman. Alright what about Indian?”

“No.”

“You love a curry!”

“I had one on Friday.”

“When?!! I cooked on Friday.”

“Settle Petal. I had lunch with Marlene. She wanted a curry.”

“Oh.”

“What, did you think I was sneaking out to get midnight curries without you.”

“…No.”

“Just because Sirius used to do that. Honestly, we’re not all heathens.”

“Fine.”

“So, what are you picking?”

“You mean, what are you going to let me pick?”

“Don’t grumble, just because your hungry doesn’t mean you can take it out on me.”

“If you would just pick something, then I wouldn’t be bloody hungry.”

“It’s your turn.”

“Thai?”

“Hmmm.”

“Chinese?”

“Ummmm.”

“Kebabs?”

“Uhhhhh.”

“McDonalds?”

“James.”

“Lily.”

“Look I’m not even that hungry. Just get what you want and I’ll sort myself out.”

“No, we have to eat together. It’s what married couples do.”

“Not when one is starving and one isn’t hungry they don’t. Honestly, I’m fine.”

“Okay… Alright, I’m going to have Japanese. Do you want some?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“Of course.”

“Alright…”

“Do they have sushi?”

“What?”

“Sushi? Do they have it?”

“I’ve just pressed order! Couldn’t you have spoken up sooner?”

“I didn’t think of it!”

“Do you want sushi? I can put in another order. They’ll probably give them to the same driver and come together anyway.”

“No, no, that’s okay. I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“… no?”

“You want sushi now don’t you?”

“Will you hate me if I say yes?”

“No.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I kind of want sushi.”

James threw his phone down on the coffee table and launched himself across the couch at his wife. Lily shrieked with laughter, dropping her on phone down to catch his head in her hands as he nuzzled into her neck.

“I’m sorry,” she giggled.

“You will be,” he growled as he nipped at her neck.

“I hate to interrupt you,” Lily gasped as James found her pulse point. “But shouldn’t we order the sushi first?”

James pulled back to look at her, grinning like a Cheshire cat, “I already ordered you some.”

“And that’s why you’re my husband,” Lily sighed happily as she pulled him down to press her lips to his.

Chapter Text

Sirius slowly stretched his arms over his head, hearing as well as feeling cracks and pops from staying in one position for so long. He rolled his neck around and couldn’t supress the low moan as his muscles protested the stretch.

“Shhhh,” Lily hissed beside him. He didn’t need to look to see her arms were still crossed over chest.

As they had been.

For eight hours.

“Chill, Evans. That was barely a sound.”

“They probably heard three streets over.”

“Hardly,” Sirius scoffed. “Just because your pissy at Prongs doesn’t mean you can take it out on me.”

“I’m not taking it out on you, I am angry at you,” Lily glared at Sirius before turning back to watch the building in front of them.

“Why the fuck did I do?”

“You let him order you to bloody watch out for me,” Lily huffed. “As if I’m some bloody damsel in distress. As if I haven’t fought in as many battles as you both have. As if I haven’t saved your skin numerous times.”

“He wasn’t ordering me to look out for you, Evans.”

“He was. I saw him. I saw the look, and the head tilt. And I saw you nod back.”

“That’s not what that was.”

“Well, what was he doing then?”

Sirius sighed, “He wasn’t asking me to watch out for you. He was asking me to make sure you come home.”

“That’s the same bloody thing!” Lily’s whispered yell had all the same scary rage as her loud voice, Sirius couldn’t help thinking.

“And why is that a bad thing? Why is it so terrible that he wants to make sure you come home?” Sirius glared back at her now.

“Because he thinks I can’t look after myself! Like I shouldn’t be out here.”

“For Merlin’s sake. He doesn’t think that.”

“Then why the look?”

“Because he bloody loves you, you daft bint. He loves you so much and it drives him bloody crazy to be away from you.”

“He loves you too,” Lily frowned petulantly.

“And you get bet your arse that he gives Remus the same look when we’re sent off together that he gave me today.”

“Why doesn’t he look at me to save you then?”

Sirius smirked at the challenge in the tilt of her chin, “Priorities, Evans. There’s a pecking order and you’re at the top. Not because you can’t take care of yourself. But because your worth more than the rest of us combined.”

“Oh,” Lily was quiet for a few minutes. Her arms slowly relaxed, coming to rest in her lap. Her shoulders slumped forward, and her gaze went down.

“Alright, Evans?”

She smiled gently, “You sound like him when you ask me that.”

“That’s not an answer.”

Lily sighed, shaking her head. “I stormed out of that briefing, didn’t I?”

“You did,” Sirius confirmed.

“I didn’t say goodbye,” she said quietly.

“No, you didn’t.”

“He was being sent on a mission too, wasn’t he?” she asked fearfully.

“He was. Assigned right after you walked out. That’s why he couldn’t go after you,” Lily could see Sirius shrug his shoulders out of the corner of her eye as they both focused back on the building in front of them. It was nearing time.

“What if something happens to him and the last time we saw each other I was angry at him for caring too bloody much,” Lily half wailed.

“Be a pretty fitting reflection of your relationship, wouldn’t it? Ending how it began and all that, Ow! That hurt,” Sirius rubbed at his chest where Lily had taken a blind whack.

“Not funny, Black.”

“Oh, that’s low Evans, using the last name,” Sirius dodged another whack even as he continued to snicker. He paused for a second, staring closely at one of the windows as a shadow moved. “I wouldn’t worry about that being the last time you saw him, Evans.”

“Why’s that?” Lily asked distractedly as she too started to prepare to move, grasping her wand.

“Cause your boy got assigned to search that building after you left. And it looks like he’s got company,” Sirius moved to a crouch.

“What the fuck?” Lily whirled on Sirius even as she braced to run.

A light flashed in the window.

“Time to rescue your damsel, Evans, lets go,” Sirius pulled Lily on her elbow as they ducked around the bush they’d been hiding behind and sprinted across the street.

Lily barely had time to process that it was James currently holding his own against four dark robed attackers. She barely had time to think at all. Everything was instinct from the second she and Sirius burst through the door. She ducked, weaved, cast and conjured as she and Sirius took one each and worked to disarm and stun them.   

Sirius was still dueling when she put down her dark wizard, and she whirled toward where James was still battling two Death Eaters. Anyone else wouldn’t have held out this long, but James was making his defence work look easier.

That’s all it really was though, Lily realised after only a few seconds. He was defending, counter cursing and deflecting, but couldn’t find a long enough gap to mount any real attack with the way the wizards were standing. His back was to the wall, and he was running out of space.

Firing several spells at once, Lily took advantage of the few moments of incapacitation of one of the wizards, to add a round house kick to his chest. The movement took the wizard further from James, while allowing Lily to maneuver herself closer. Quickly deflecting two incoming hexes from the remaining wizard, Lily brought herself to stand double breasted with her boyfriend.

“Alright?” He asked breathlessly between spells.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” she gasped.

“Couldn’t let you guys have all the fun,” he smirked, and then ducked quickly as a spell narrowly missed his ear.

‘Not my idea of fun,” Lily pushed off the wall as she moved around a series of hexes and fired several back. She could see Sirius gaining ground across the room.

“Still mad at me?” James started to use a series of spells Lily recognised and provided the necessary shield work to cover him.

“Not the time,” she hissed.

“Ah, come on, it’s the perfect time,” he argued.

“It’s not. Ready?”

“Always, Evans,” James’ suggestive tone had Lily rolling her eyes despite the circumstances.

“Now,” on her yell they both fired a repulsion charm, hitting the wizard simultaneously, knocking him directly into the other Death Eater as Sirius knocked him unconscious. As the dust settled, Lily looked over at James.

“Still mad at me?” he asked hopefully.

Lily stared at him for a long moment and as he looked into her eyes, James’ smile fell. Sirius let loose a low whistle and busied himself tying up the three wizards and sending a Patronus back to headquarters for transport.

“Lil,” he started to uncertainly, but was cut off by Lily closing the gap between them with three long striding steps. “Oph,” he huffed as she collided with him, her arms wrapping around his middle, her head burying in his chest. He looked at Sirius over the top of his head, who only rolled his eyes. His arms curled around Lily, one hand gripping her waist and one the nape of her neck as he held her to him.

“New rule,” she murmured.

“Yeah,” he kissed the top of her head. “What’s that?”

“We never leave for a mission angry,” Lily turned her gaze up to him, a pleading look in her eyes. "Done,” he promised, pressing his lips to hers.

Chapter Text

James had realised recently that when Lily often said she was going to the library to study after supper, Sirius often disappeared. Not unusual in and of itself, but the face he always made sure to take the map with him was. That it seemed to only be the evenings that Lily went to the library also strange.

With time on his hands, and no mates to speak of that evening, Peter on a date, Remus unwell, James decided to investigate. First up was the obvious inspection of the library. He checked all the normal places, the Charms stacks, the dusty Potions corner, the hidey-hole near Herbology where Lily often hid when she didn’t want any of the younger students she tutored to find her in the aforementioned locations. Nothing.

Searches of the Potions labs, the kitchens, the Room of Requirement (Merlin, who even knew Gideon Prewitt was getting it on with William Terry anyway?) revealed neither his girlfriend nor his best mate. James trudged up the Astronomy Tower, hoping it was still too early and too light to run into any more couples with nefarious intentions.

It was, quite thank fully, empty as James completed a circuit around the exposed outside path. He looked out across the grounds, ticking off locations. Where the devil are they? He wondered. He turned to go back down the tower, when a shout and movement caught his eye.

Two figures seemed to be moving slowly around the Quidditch Pitch, barely a foot above the stands. If it hadn’t been for the shout, James would never have noticed them. The two brooms were extremely close together and one appeared to a bit shaky. He frowned, mentally consulting the Pitch schedule. No one had the Pitch booked tonight for practise, he was pretty certain. And there didn’t seem to be anyone else with the pair, let alone a whole team of players.

James headed down the Astronomy Tower, still frowning, his brain ticking over. The light had been too faded as night approached to see any colour in their hair, and it was too far to see what House the students had been in.

Still, with time of his hands and an ongoing distinct lack of mates, James decided he’d go for wander down to the Pitch and see who was there. It wouldn’t be Sirius and Lily, given Lily didn’t fly, but curfew was approaching, and he could at least pretend to be Head Boy. Lily would be pleased whenever she did emerge from her hidden location.

By the time he got down there, it was almost dark, but he could see that the two students were now on the same broom, doing lazy loops around the pitch. One was clearly female with long flowing hair and he guessed by the build of the other, a male. It wasn’t until he heard their voices that he recognised the flyers.

“I swear to Merlin if you do another bloody loopy thing.”

“Just relax and enjoy it. Maybe try and open your eyes.”

“I will if you just bloody fly straight.”

“Where’s the fun in that though, Evans?”

“The fun’s in living, Sirius.”

“Reckon we can go a bit faster?”

“This is fast enouuuggghhhhh. Siiirrriiiusss!”

James could hear Sirius laughing hysterically as they accelerated to what he could only really call a medium pace around the hoops at the far end of the pitch.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, Prongs would kill me.”

“I’ll bloody kill you in a minute. Take me down!”

“As the lady commands.”

Lily shrieked again almost immediately as Sirius took them in several loops on his way down to the pitch. As they came toward the ground he could see Sirius was holding the broom with one hand while his other hand was clasped over Lily’s two hands on his stomach, her arms tightly encircling his waist. Lily’s face was pressed firmly into Sirius’ back and James guessed that her eyes were tightly shut.

“Honestly, Sirius, I will murder you,” James could hear Lily threatening as he moved further onto the pitch.

“Open your bloody eyes Evans, we’re on the ground,” Sirius smirked back at her, tapping his hand on top of hers comfortingly.

Lily opened her eyes, looking down at the ground before stretching her feet down towards the ground. “Oh,” she exclaimed, quickly swinging one leg over the broom to hop off. As she did so she cuffed Sirius on the back of the head, “Jerk.”

“Oi, watch it,” Sirius rubbed at his head and tried to smooth down his hair. “And I think the words you’re looking for are, actually, thank you.”

“Thank you for what?” James stepped forward from the shadows.

Lily jumped visibly and looked strangely nervous as Sirius turned around, “Prongs!” he greeted happily, a far cry from Lily’s obvious discomfort. “What brings you out this way?”

“Saw some people on the pitch. Thought I’d come see who was out so close to curfew. Didn’t expect to find you two here,” James shrugged, but knew his tone didn’t quite sound casual enough.

“I reckon I’ll let you take this one,” Sirius muttered to Lily, moving past her.

She tried to jab him in the side as he went, “Thanks a bunch.”

“Now you’re getting it, Evans,” he laughed as he jumped out of the way. “You’re most welcome, you ungrateful cretin.” Sirius continued walking, clapping his hand on James’ shoulder as he went past him. “Go easy on her, mate.”  

James turned and watched Sirius head out of the Pitch back toward the castle. He turned back toward Lily, “Thanks for what? Why do I need to go easy on you?”

“I’m impressed with your Head Boy attentions,” Lily tried to deflect, nodding approvingly. “I must be rubbing off on you.”

“Don’t even try it,” he frowned again. “What’s going on?”

Lily muttered something, looking down at the ground as she stubbed her toe into the grass, kicking up a small clump of the pitch.

“What was that, sorry?” James stepped closer toward her.

Lily muttered again, but James was a bit closer and managed to catch the last word. Lessons.

“Sirius is giving you lessons?” He tilted his head to the side. “Flying lessons?” Lily nodded and James tried not to feel hurt. “Why didn’t you ask me for flying lessons?”

Lily gave him a pained expression, “It was meant to be a surprise.”

“A surprise?” James frowned. “For what?”

“The bloody Potter Easter Quidditch Tournament,” Lily burst out. “Sirius was telling me all about it, how even your Mum plays in it. And I’m coming home with you for Easter, I didn’t want to be the only one who wasn’t playing.”

“Oh,” James looked a bit shocked. “So, you asked Sirius to teach you?”

“I wanted to surprise you and fly well and make you really proud of me. And to make sure your parents like,” Lily explained, biting her lip. “I just wanted to make you happy.”

James had never felt more like he was going to melt into a small puddle at the sweetness this girl showed him. He took several more steps forward until he could reach out and grasp her hips, pulling him to her. Lily’s eyes were still downcast, her cheeks reddened with embarrassment, so James used one finger to tilt her chin up toward him before stroking her cheek softly.

“Lily, my parents will love you. Probably more than they love me. And Sirius. But mostly me. You don’t have to learn to fly for that to happen. And I’m always proud of you, proud that you’re my girlfriend,” he assured her.

She shook her head, “But I want to fit in. I want to be part of it.”

“You could keep score. Use your wit to entertain everyone with commentary,” he offered.

“I want to fly,” Lily argued. Her arms came up to loop around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape. “What a sad Gryffindor if I can’t face my fear of heights and learn.”

“Then I’ll teach you,” James smiled, pulling her even closer.

“Mmmm,” Lily hummed as she pushed up on her toes. “I think you might be a distraction.”

James’ hand buried in her hair as his lips dropped to her temple for a soft kiss, “How so?”

“Well, I’ll probably try to do this while your teaching me,” she pressed her own kiss in the crook of his neck, “And this,” a kiss on his jaw, “And this,” she planted her lips firmly on James’.

James wasn’t sure she’d made her point as he happily responded to the kiss. This was probably the type of lesson he could finally get behind.

Chapter Text

“Hey,” James thumped his books down on the lab bench, startling Lily who was sitting slumped across it.

“Hey,” she finished her text, frowning before she put her phone away.

“Something wrong?”

She shook her head, “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Sounds mysterious,” James flipped open his lab book, checking the page numbers on the whiteboard as he turned to the correct one.

“Nah, just an old lab partner who isn’t getting the hint I don’t want to study together anymore,” Lily tried to shrug but her phone buzzed several times and she couldn’t help a sigh.

“He’s holding your genius back?” James guessed.

“Trying to hold me in general,” she grimaced.

James looked so appalled Lily regretted saying anything, “He didn’t, uh, force himself on you, did he?”

“No, no,” she shook her head vehemently, “He doesn’t have the guts for that. Just super possessive and clingy.”

“Tell him to bloody shove off.”

Lily sighed again, “It’s hard. We went to the same high school. We’ve been friends a long time. He helped me get good enough marks to test out of Chemistry so I could be a TA. I feel like I owe him.”

“You should never owe a friend. That’s not how it works.”

“He’s never really seemed like he could hurt a fly, but then we came here, he fell in with a group. I think his beliefs have changed a bit now.”

“About chemistry?” James looked puzzled.

Lily winced, “More like white supremacy.”

“Evans,” James looked incredibly stressed, “This really doesn’t sound great.”

“I know, I know,” Lily pulled her own textbook out and started to thumb through the pages. “I’m sorting it.”

“It doesn’t sound like you are,” James frowned, leaning on the bench, his attention still focused on her.

“I am.”

“Well, let me know if you need any help,” James finally managed to catch her eye.

Lily stared at him for a long moment, one eyebrow raised, but James refused to look away. Eventually she relented, “Fine, Potter. If it makes you happier.”

“It’ll make me sleep easier at night,” James muttered, “Knowing your safe. But speaking of safety, shouldn’t you be starting this lab?”

Lily shook her head, “No, this is a competition lab, Slughorn’s running it. He lives for them.”

“Competition lab?” Lily swore James’ ears pricked up like a deer in the woods when a branch snapped.

“Yeah it’s a –” Lily broke off. “Oh, never mind, here’s Slughorn now, he’ll explain.”

The portly middle-aged man strode excitedly into the classroom, holding something behind his back.

“Good morning, everyone,” he boomed. “Today’s lab is a little bit special. It’s one of our three competition labs this semester. Your bench will compete against the others to complete the lab, fastest bench to complete it correctly, wins!”

“What do we win,” a girl from James’ residence, Emma, called from the back of the room.

“I’m glad you asked, Miss Vance,” Slughorn smiled. “The winners of today’s lab will win the, drumroll please Mr Diggory,” Amos tapped out a drumbeat with two pencils obligingly, “The Golden Onion.” The professor pulled out an onion, painted gold, from behind his back and held it up like an Olympian would hold up their gold medal.

James leant over to Lily as the class broke out into groans, “I half expect him to bite it,” he murmured, clearly having the same kind of imagery she was.

Lily snorted but was cut off from replying as Slughorn spoke again. “Did I mention there was also points towards your final grade up for grabs as well?”

The class quietened down with his words and started to murmur amongst themselves.

“In a progression from our earlier labs, you’ll need to identify each of the 10 substances on your desk. Some of them require several steps, so be warned, this won’t be easy and there is no cutting corners if you want to get it right.”

“Professor,” Gideon Prewitt called from the behind Lily and James’. “Doesn’t Potter have an advantage, working with the TA? Bit unfair don’t you think?”

“Depends, Mr Prewitt,” Slughorn smiled, eyes twinkling as he glanced over at James. “Would you find it unfair if the lab blew up again and you were unable to finish the competition at all? Your bench is in the blast radius. I think Miss Evans working with Mr Potter only balances out the scales, as it were, don’t you? Not to mention, keeps us all safe?”

Most of the class tittered while Gideon could only shrug. “Honestly, you blow up one lab in your first week,” James muttered under his breath, delighted to hear Lily let out another unladylike snort.

Slughorn placed the onion down on his desk and clapped both his hands. “Right everyone, your time starts NOW.”

Lily was extremely surprised to see James jump into action at Slughorn’s words. “You’re not usually so keen to get started,” she observed as James pulled out the necessary equipment and began setting it up for the first experiment, consulting the lab book religiously.

“One thing you should know about me, Evans,” he said as he turned the gas on a touch, and lit the Bunsen burner, “Is that I live for competition. Breath it. Feed off it.”

“It’s why he’s such a good captain,” Fabian commented from behind them. “He doesn’t let the rest of us off even for a second. Even the coach is a little bit afraid of him.”

Lily quirked an eyebrow, this report not matching with the normal laidback, lackadaisical bloke she’d known for a few weeks now, “Is that right?”

“My mother learnt very young that the only way to really get me to do anything, was to make it a competition,” James spoke without taking his eyes off the beaker. Lily realised with a start he was already halfway through the first step.

“Apparently, she was on to something,” Lily nodded her head toward the bubble concoction. “I was going to say I’m only going to help if your going to blow us up again, but your looking pretty competent there. I don’t think you even need me anymore.”

“Ah, Evans, there’s a difference between want and need,” James sent her a cheeky wink before refocusing his attention. Lily tried not to smile as she shook her head dramatically and tsked. “You don’t want me to start a fire just for your attention now, do you?”

“Because that’s really the way to get a girls attention,” Lily rolled her eyes, sitting back down on her stool.

“Worked for my father,” James grinned, making a note on in his lab book before moving to tip out the contents of his beaker and rinse it out, ready to begin again.

James quickly worked his way through the experiments, and only twice did Lily have to intervene for the safety of everyone, but given most students were needing some assistance, she felt she wasn’t really earning her meagre TA salary today. She did however make sure to comment loudly and often how she wasn’t doing anything, least someone think James hadn’t earnt his eventual win.

He rewarded her comments with a sweeping twirling hug when he was awarded the golden onion at the end of the lab. “We did it,” he crowed, dropping onto one knee to offer the sad trophy up to her with both hands. “Your reward, my lady.”

“Oh, get up,” Lily pulled him up by the elbow, still trying to recover her breath and her heart for being spun around. His strong arm and warm body had had more of an effect on her than she realised. Or maybe that too handsome face, she couldn’t help but think.

“Here,” James continued to offer her the onion.

“Potter, you did all the work,” Lily pushed it away. “I’m not taking your onion.”

“You made sure we made it through in one piece,” James insisted until Lily took it reluctantly. Around them the class was packing up, and he pulled one strap of his backpack through his arm, hitching it onto his broad shoulder.

Lily also hoisted her bag and started to move toward the door, “Thankfully my interventions are required less and less.”

“Have you got a class now?” James asked as he fell into step beside her in the corridor. When Lily shook her head, he smiled, “Want to grab a coffee and talk about how we trounced everyone?”

“You trounced them,” Lily couldn’t help but say. She considered for a second, “It’s just coffee, right?”

James nodded, “Of course, what else would it be? A potion?”

Well, apparently not a date, Lily thought wryly as she followed him out into the quad towards the Science department’s coffee shop, The Brew Lab.

Chapter Text

“Lily, what on earth is the matter?”

Lily barely looked up at Marlene’s words as she busied herself, piling a plate full of food with the same speed she’d rushed into the Great Hall with. “Hmmm?”

“I think Marley might be referring to you running in here like a bat out of hell,” Mary remarked, passing Lily the butter for her toast without being asked.

“Can’t a girl just be hungry?” Lily asked innocently. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, after all.”

“You’re not normally so focused on your dietary requirements,” Dorcas commented. She poured Lily some pumpkin juice into a goblet and pushed it toward her. “Here.”

“Ta,” Lily took a sip, looking over the top toward the double doors.

“What are you looking at?” Marlene craned her neck, but couldn’t see anything.

“Nothing, nothing,” Lily took a bite of toast, but couldn’t resist another glance.

“You looked again,” Marlene protested. “What’s gong on?”

“Just, you know, excited to start the day,” Lily smiled brightly.

“But you were first to leave the dorm,” Mary frowned, “Where have you been all morning?”

“Oh, just here and there,” Lily waved her hand dismissively. “The Owlery, the dungeons, the Pitch, you know, just taking a morning walk. It’s a beautiful day.”

“Wait,”

“What,”

“Why,”

All three girls spoke at once, exchanging glances between them before looking back at Lily. Mary became the inquisitor, “Why were you down at the Pitch?”

“Just taking in the sights, you know. Pass the Jam, Mars.”

Marley passed the jar over, but held onto it when Lily made a grab, “Weren’t Gryffindor practising this morning?”

“Were they?” Lily tugged at the jar.

Marlene held tight and raised an eyebrow, “You were down there, Lil.”

“I think they might have been there, I’m not sure,” Lily pulled at the jar again and sighed when Marlene didn’t let go. “Fine, yes, Gryffindor were practising this morning.”

“So, how were the sights then,” Dorcas wiggled her eyebrows as Lily finally took the jar from Marlene. “Spectacular?”

“Wasn’t really paying attention, to be honest,” Lily shrugged, but sent another glance towards the doors.

“Honestly, Lil, what is going on?” Mary huffed. “Did you break into the locker rooms and see Potter starkers or something?”

The way Lily paled made it clear the suggestion was not too far from the truth. “I didn’t see him starkers,” she muttered, shoving more toast in her mouth so they couldn’t ask her anything else. The silence didn’t last long, however.

“EVANS!” Sirius roared as he came striding into the Great Hall. James was following behind, pulling at his arm in attempt to stop his mate. Lily ducked behind Marlene, but it was too late, he was upon her. He leant over her, fairly snarling like a dog, “Evans, what do you do?”

“You have no proof it was me.”

“Really, mate, you’ve got no proof.”

“Nice look, Black.”

“Really, quite attention seeking.”

“What the bloody hell happened to your hair?”

“Wait, does this have anything with the potion you were brewing last night?” Mary asked curiously.

“Aha!” Sirius pointed a finger at Mary without looking away from Lily, who gulped. “Proof!”

“It wasn’t meant to do that, I swear,” she babbled, holding her hands up in defence. “I swear, it was just meant to turn your hair pink.”

Sirius ran a hand over his shiny, bald head, “Rubbish, Evans. You’re the best at Potions. No way you stuffed this up.”

“I, er, got distracted while it was simmering,” Lily’s cheeks reddened slightly as James coughed from behind Sirius. “It must have boiled too long and turned acidic.”

“You think,” Sirius glared, brandishing his wand.

“Whoa, mate, honestly,” James pulled at his arm more strongly, trying to force himself between the two. “It’ll grow back. Don’t get so upset.” He looked back at Lily over his shoulder, “It’ll grow back right?”

Sirius growled at Lily’s wincing expression and Lily tightened her hand on the back of James shirt, pulling him more slightly toward her. “Evans.”

Her eyes hardened and her tone turned dark, “It’s your own bloody fault, anyway.”

“What did I do to deserve this Evans?” He rubbed his hair again, “My hair, Evans, it’s my best bloody feature.”

“You wouldn’t stop going on about our date,” Lily protested, glancing between James and Sirius. “Honestly, you’d think you were bloody jealous the way you’ve been going on about it. That the sky was falling in.”

“It’s been a long year, Evans,” Sirius shook his head. “I think I’m allowed to celebrate the bloody end of Prong’s pining.”

“Oi,” James protested, spinning his own wand in his hand, “You’ve still got hair in other places, mate.” He pointed his wand up and down Sirius’ body, leaving no question about his meaning. “And you have been going on a bit.”

“Bloody hardly anything compared to listen to you stressing about the bloody thing,” Sirius muttered darkly. He looked over James’ shoulder at Lily, “Honestly, you should be thanking me for keeping him under control, not bloody cursing me.”

“I’ll make you a regrowth potion,” Lily swore quickly. “I’ll watch it like a hawk.”

“Like I’d trust anything you brewed,” he sniffed. “Remus will help me.” With that, his robes swirled and billowed as he turned and strode back out of the Hall, ignoring the cat calls and comments that followed his shiny head.

James turned to Lily with a raised eyebrow, “Well, that wasn’t the plan.”

“I got distracted,” Lily reminded him with a smirk. “It was hardly my fault.”

"I was not distracting."

"You're the one with a Potion's whiz of a father," she shrugged. "This reflects worse on you, really."

James grinned wickedly and leant down to press a kiss to Lily's lips, ignoring the delighted noises of surprise from the girls around them, “Worth it.”

Chapter Text

"Go out with me."

James looked up from his essay, "I'm sorry?"

"Go out with me," Lily said breathlessly as she threw herself into the chair next to him. "Hogsmeade, this Saturday."

"Uh, what?" James shook his head like he was trying to clear it.

"I, need, you, to, go, out, with, me," Lily annunciation clearly, like James was slow.

"Yeah, no, I got that," James ruffled his hair. "Why do you need me to go out with you?"

"The giant squid is busy," Lily rolled her eyes. "You'll do it, yeah?"

James looked at her shrewdly, like she was a puzzle he couldn't crack, "Yeah, no, thanks."

"What?" She looked more than surprised, she looked floored.

"No, I won't go out with you," James stopped looking at her and returned to his essay, his quill tapping against the table as he reread his last line.

"But, why?"

"Why would I?"

"Because..." Lily looked a bit lost, her cheeks reddening. Apparently James rejecting her wasn't something she'd considered.

"Because I've asked you in the past?"

She nodded, "Well, yeah."

"You said no then."

"But I didn't like you then."

"And you do now?" James raised an eyebrow as Lily looked down at her hands.

"Well, um, you see," she muttered a few attempts at speaking before falling into silence, apparently enraptured by her cuticles.

"You see?" James dropped his quill with a clack onto the solid wood surface and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in the chair. "Why would I say yes?"

"Because I need you too," Lily cried, louder than she intended, and she was quickly shushed by the librarian from across the room.

"Why though? Why do you need me to go to Hogsmeade with you?"

"I can't go alone."

"Go with the girls. Go with Remus."

Lily shook her head, "They've got dates."

"Remus does not have a date," James said wryly. "Sirius is in detention, I've listened to him whinge a hundred times about not being able to take Mooney to Pudifoots to, and I quote, 'woo him'" James lowered his hands from their air quotation marks.

Lily looked uncomfortable, "I can't go with Remus."

"Why not?" James smirked, "Too much man for you?"

Lily dithered again, looking around the room, straightening the books in front of her into a tidier stack.

"I haven't got all day, Evans."

Lily huffed and glared at him, "I can't go with Remus because I said I was going with you."

James blanched, clearly surprised. "Who'd you say that to?"

"Just some twits," she tried to shrug off.

"In this school, doesn't really narrow it down."

"Some girls. Slytherins, a couple of spiteful Ravenclaws. Girls who missed out on Head Girl, or who are just pissed off that a Muggleborn got the job," Lily shuffled uncomfortably.

"They definitely sound like twits, you had the right of it there," James frowned. "But why did you say you were going to Hogsmeade with me?"

"I didn't mean to," Lily sounded a bit distraught now. "But they were harping on about how I shouldn't have the position, wasn't smart, wasn't liked. That all I had was my books and my rules and I was clinging to them so desperately it was sad. Apparently its a real turn off to guys and I'll die a lonely spinster. Did you know?"

"Hadn't heard that," James tipped his head to her. "My condolences." Lily managed a weak smile before he continued. "And so, your reaction to this was to say that you were going out with me?"

"Not my best plan," Lily grimaced. "I just wanted to shut them up. You're the best bloody catch in the school, it just came out."

"I'm what, sorry?" James looked even more startled than when Lily first asked him out.

"Oh psssh," Lily waved a hand in his direction. "You know your bloody charming, handsome and funny. Now you're Head Boy and Quidditch Captain, of course your bloody hot property."

James grinned so widely Lily thought his face would burst, ""Next time you're going to ask me out, Evans, I suggest leading with that."

"Can we focus, please? I'm having a crisis."

"This is not a crisis," James kept chuckling.

"It is," Lily whined, socking him in the arm "I told those bloody girls they were wrong, and they'd see on Saturday. If you don't come with me, they'll add liar to my list of less than desirable traits, and I'll be a laughing stock."

"Not to anyone with sense, Evans."

"Potter."

James considered her.

Lily fidgeted under his gaze, "Are you going to make me beg?"

"No," James shook his head slowly. "No, I'm not."

"Just one fake date," Lily begged anyway. "Just pretend for a couple hours, I'll buy you lunch, we can go anywhere you want. Just please go with me."

"No," James said again. Lily went to speak again, but James moved before she could. He leant forward, tucking a lock of hair behind Lily's ear. She felt her breath catch, and her cheeks reddened even further. "I'll make you a deal, Lily."

"What's that?" Lily asked breathlessly, not missing the fact he'd used her first name.

"I'll go on a date with you to Hogsmeade this weekend," James held his hand up as she started to speak, "But it's not going to be pretend."

"We can just be friends, of course," Lily nodded emphatically. "No one has to know." She stretched out her hand for him to shake in agreement.

"No, Lily," James took her hand, but twisted it, linking their fingers together and giving a gentle but delicious squeeze.

"Then-"

"I'll go on a date with you to Hogsmeade this weekend, but it's not going to be fake. It's going to be a real date, Lily."

"But-"

"And your telling the girls, my mates too, that you asked me."

"What-"

James smiled at Lily's stuttering, "I warn you though, Evans. I'm known for putting out on the first date."

"Excuse-"

"Kind of you to ask me, Evans. I'm looking forward to it," James ignored any further protests, turning back to his essay but keeping his hand interlaced with Lily's.  Out of the corner of his eye he could see her biting her lip, watching him before she responded, clasping his hand more tightly.

"Me too."

Chapter Text

James was lounging on the couch near the fire, checking Quidditch results in the Prophet when he became aware of a lot of giggling. As that wasn’t unusual in the Common Room so close to Valentine’s Day, he turned the page, undeterred.

“Hi James,” a small voice made him look up. A small fourth year girl stood near the other end of the couch, near James’ feet. She was smiling at him with the widest blue eyes he’d ever seen.

“Er, uh, hi there,” he tried to cover the fact he couldn’t remember her name. He struggled up to a sitting position. “Did you, ah, want to sit down?”

“Oh, yes, please,” the girl fairly cooed, sliding onto the couch, sitting on the middle cushion next to James.

“Sure, yeah, have a seat,” he ruffled his hair and looked at her in great confusion. He was aware of a lot more snickering and giggles behind him, and when he looked over his shoulder there were a few more girls standing behind the couch. When they realised he was looking, they burst in fits of laughter, falling over each other as they moved further away.

“Oh, don’t pay any attention to them,” James turned back to the girl to find her even closer, her thigh almost pressed up against his.

James tried to shuffle back discreetly, “Do you know what they’re laughing about? Do I have something on my face?” He felt around his cheeks, in case any remnants of the cauldron cakes he’d scoffed after the last class of the day.

“No, not at all,” she leaned in closer, placing a hand on his thigh. “Your face is perfect.”

James blinked, “Sorry, was there something you needed?” He tried to shuffle back further, half perching on the armrest of the couch.

“Oh, I just thought we could chat a bit,” her eyelashes batted, and she shuffled onto the couch cushion James still half occupied. “What are your weekend plans?”

“My weekend?” James tried to lean back even further to create the illusion to make space. He shuffled his legs, stretching them out to dislodge the wandering hand that caressed them, but was only stroked again in their new position. “Hogsmeade, isn’t it?”

“It is,” the girl smiled coyly. “It’s a pretty special one though, isn’t it?”

“Is it?” James blinked.

“It’s Valentines,” the girls hand clenched on James’ thigh as she practically purred the word. “Isn’t it just the most wonderful coincidence that Valentines and Hogsmeade are on the same day?”

“Er, well, actually, I think we, the prefects and Heads, I mean, planned it that way,” James tried to discreetly remove her hand, but somehow ended up with his hand in her vicelike grip instead.

“Oh, so you were planning a special day then? With a special someone,” the girl pulled his hand toward her chest, placing it there.

“Uh, yeah, well, I haven’t exactly,”

James was cut off as the girl kissed his fingers, “So, you’re free then?”

“Free?”

“Free for Hogsmeade, for our date,” she kissed his hand again, but this time added a lick and James was spurred into action.

“Oi, hey,” He tried to pull his hand. It was really impressive, how strong this tiny girl was that he couldn’t get it back. “I’m sorry, I think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick, I’m going to Hogsmeade with –”

“Me,” Lily’s voice cut in from behind and James felt his heart stop, before it started again, beating a pounding rhythm.

“Lily, hey, ummm, this isn’t what it looks like,”

“You,” Before James could explain, the girl turned her eyes onto Lily, her expression turning sour as she scowled. “I suppose you think you deserve him.”

“Not at all,” Lily shook her head as she moved to stand in front of the pair. “But I am his girlfriend, last time I checked, so I’ll keep him until he decides otherwise, thanks.”

“But you don’t even like him,” the girl protested, finally letting go of James’ hand to put her hands on her hips as she stood to face the Head Girl. “You spent years complaining about him, shouting at him. You don’t even love him.”

“Oh, and you do?” Lily raised an eyebrow.

“Of course,” the girl linked her arm with James, pulling him upright and placing a hand on his chest. “I love you, James Potter. Always have and always will.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t even know your name,” James admitted honestly, though he winced as the girl’s expression fell for a second.

She recovered quickly though, “What’s a name in the face of love?” She turned her face to nuzzle at his neck, missing the panicked look that James gave Lily.

“Help,” he mouthed. “She’s gone mad.”

“She’s not mad,” Lily surveyed the girl, and then cast a look around the room. Her eyes caught on the giggling gaggle that she had often seen with the girl. “And her name’s Lucy. Oi,” she called toward the group. “What have you done to her?”

The group went quiet, no one offering anything.

“A love potion, most likely,” Lily sighed. She pulled out her wand, aiming it at Lucy, who was still trying to get her lips on James’ neck. “Finite Incantatem.”

Almost at once the girl let go of James, and when she looked between the two Head students, flew back further. “Oh my God,” she murmured, clearly horrified. “Oh my God.”

“It’s okay, Lucy,” Lily said gently. “We know that wasn’t you.”

“Oh, I’m so embarrassed,” the girl wailed, “They knew I had a crush on him, and I wouldn’t shut up and oh my God, I’m so embarrassed that I’m saying oh my God.” She slumped back onto the couch, nearly in tears.

“It’s okay,” Lily sat down next to the girl, “I still use it too.” She put her arm around the girl and hugged her to her side.

“I’m so sorry,” Lucy looked up at James and reddened. “I just couldn’t stop myself.”

“Hey, hey, don’t worry,” James sat down on the coffee table in front of the two girls. “Sirius did that to me once, only I spent my time serenading Madame Hooch instead. In the middle of the Great Hall.”

“He’s telling the truth,” Lily nodded, “Our second year.”

“Couldn’t look Hooch in the eye for years,” James added as Lucy started to smile.

“Really?” she asked, taking a shuddering breath and wiping at her eyes.

“Really,” he confirmed with a smile. “You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m going to go give my mates hell,” she half laughed, half sighed. “Thanks for being so nice about this.”

“Not at all. And we’ll look the other way if any hexes come from your wand,” Lily stood with the girl and waved her off. Lucy only snuck one last glance at James as she went, and he tried to smile as warmly as she could.

“So, is this what being your girlfriend is going to be like?” James looked back at Lily as she stepped closer to him, smiling. “Girls just throwing themselves at you whenever I’m not there to defend you?”

“Yes, Evans,” he grinned as he snagged her around the waist to pull her closer. “A sure sign you should probably never be far from my side.”

“Is that right?” Lily rolled her eyes even as her arms came around James’ neck. “And you don’t have any ulterior motives?”

“Not one,” James cut off any further replies Lily might have made by pressing his lips firmly to hers, for a chaste but perfect Common Room kiss.

Chapter Text

Lily’s foot kicked impatiently back and forth, her heel hitting her chair.

James sighed but didn’t look up, “What, Lily?”

“Nothing,” she echoed his sigh, still kicking her foot.

“I can hear your foot,” he pointed out, dipping his quill in ink again as he raised an eyebrow at her.

“And?”

“It’s distracting,” James said pointedly. He cast an arm over their table, the surface of which was buried fairly deep.

“Sorry,” Lily tried to relax her foot. “I can’t focus. We’ve been at this for hours.”

“No one said our NEWT year would be easy,” James flipped another page in the heavy text in front of him.

“I know,” Lily tried to focus on her essay. She really did. But soon enough she found herself resting her head in her palm, staring longing at the handsome boy in front of her.

“What now?” James looked up at her finally.

“You’re so pretty,” Lily smiled, batting her eyelashes. She lifted her previously agitated foot up and stretched out her toes, brushing against James’ inner thigh.

“Evans,” he said warningly. He reached down and caught her foot in her hand, thumb pressing into the arch. He frowned, “Where are your shoes?”

“You know I can never study in them,” Lily nudged her foot into his thigh again. “Wanna get out of here?”

“And people think I’m the corrupting influence,” James squeezed her foot and realised it, pushing it back down to the ground. He shook his head as Lily pouted. “Your incorrigible, Evans.”

“I thought having a Marauder for a boyfriend was going to be fun,” she tried but James only grinned.

“You probably should have picked one who wasn’t the Head Boy then.”

“Maybe I will,” Lily puffed up her chest.

“Good luck with that,” James snorted. “You’d eat Peter alive, Remus is too sensible and Sirius likes to be the prettiest in the relationship.”

“You think I’m prettier than Sirius?” Lily smiled.

“DO NOT tell him I said that,” James said warningly. He frowned again, “Now, can we please get back to this. I want to finish by dinner at least.”

“And then we can go have fun, right?” Lily leant forward and brushed at James’ hair, down his cheek.

James caught her hand, kissed it, and firmly put it back on her side of the table, “Yes. But work first. Now, stop interrupting me or I won’t put out.”

“Spoil sport,” Lily muttered. She pushed her chair back noisily. James looked up, his eyes following her as she stood. “I’m going to look for that text McGonagall mentioned last class. Maybe it’ll give me some inspiration.”

James nodded and Lily headed off into the stacks. For awhile she just wandered up and down, running her finger down the spines of lines and lines of dusty texts. Occasionally one wriggled or jumped out at her, but her reflexes were quick, and she enjoyed the thrill after the monotony of essay writing.

 Eventually she made her way back toward the Transfiguration shelves and located her book. Of course, it was on the top shelf. She reached up, but couldn’t quite reach. Going up onto her tiptoes, Lily braced one hand against the shelving unit and to reach as high as she could with the other. Just as her fingertips brushed the dust jacket, another hand reached above her and plucked it out of the row.

“Need some help?” James asked huskily in her ear.

Lily felt a shiver down her spine as the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She lowered back down to her heels, feeling her body drag against James’ front in a way that made her breathless. The low grunt from behind her indicated James was equally effected.

“Thought you were studying,” she murmured, pressing her head into his shoulder.

James brought the book down, resting it on a lower shelf near Lily’s waist, leaving his hand gripping the wood sill. Lily realised his other hand was braced against the until near her head, boxing her in. His head dipped down to the delicate skin exposed above her collar.

“Got lonely,” he said between kisses, before giving her pulse point a light nip.

“How terrible,” Lily sighed as her hands moved back, one running down James’ side to his hip, the other reaching up to thread into his hair, encouraging his head down as his lips moved along her neck.

“Hmmmm,” James hummed as he dropped his hand to Lily’s jaw, angling it up and back to meet his feverish lips.

Lily met him on an exhale and it was like he’d sucked all the air out of the room. As their lips melded together, James’ other arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her back against his body. Lily grasped at his elbow and pulled at a tuft of hair as her tongue flicked along his bottom lip before gaining entry to his mouth.

James used his grip to change the angle again, stroking at Lily’s cheek with his thumb. She felt feverish as their tongues moved together. When her hips pushed back off their own accord into his, she was rewarded with a groan and a tightening of his hold around her waist.

Lily spun in his arms, her other hand caressing James’ neck in a whisper soft movement, feeling goose bumps under her fingertips. One of his hands dipped under her shirt, grazing along her side. A thumb brushed and then pushed against the underside of her breast, causing her to gasp and break the seal of their lips.

He took the opportunity to dip his head and return his attention to her neck, licking and kissing until Lily’s head rolled back against the books behind them. Her eyes closed in a mess of feeling and emotion. She was lifted up as James’ other hand gripped her bum, fingers so firm Lily felt she’d be able to see bruise marks later.

“James,” she moaned, no louder than a whisper.

He responded by claiming her lips again and both hands came down to grasp the back of Lily’s thighs. As he lifted her up against the bookshelf, it tipped slightly and they both froze as several books went thudding off the shelves.

Lily opened her eyes and looked at James, who slowly lowered her back down. He straightened her skirt and blouse as she removed her hands from his hair and looked around furtively. When no one immediately came running, she brought her eyes back up to his.

“Oops?” she smiled sheepishly.

“Oops,” James grinned back, dropping a last kiss to her lips. He turned her in the direction of their table and patted her on the bottom to start her off. “Oh, wait.” He passed Lily her book from the shelf before she could go. “Think this is what you were looking for.”

“Oh, but Potter,” Lily gave him a coy look over her shoulder, “I found something so much more interesting.”

Chapter Text

James rushed through the Hospital Wing doors, causing them to crash open and everyone inside the Wing to jump.

“Lily,” he called anxiously as he moved down the Wing, trying to look around the edges of curtains as he searched for the Head Girl. All the beds were occupied and there was overflow onto chairs. He tried to spot a tell-tale flash of red hair. “Lily?”

“In here, at the end,” Lily called, and James pulled back the curtain.

Lily sat on a chair next to a bed that housed an unconscious Remus. Both their clothing showed multiple rips and were smudged with dirt, as were their faces. A trickle of blood ran down the side of Lily’s face from a gash concealed by her hair.

“Are you okay?” James breathed as he crowded her, reaching to stroke her cheek, and then using his thumb under her jaw to tilt her head so he could look at the wound.

“Fine,” Lily assured him, placing a comforting hand on his forearm. “Better than this one.” She looked over in a fond way at the sleeping werewolf beside her.

“What happened to him?” James followed her gaze with a frown. “Is he –“

“Just knocked out,” Lily filled in before he could panic further. “He should wake soon, Pomfrey thinks. He jumped in front of a curse heading for my back. I didn’t even see it before he hit the ground.”

“Of course, he did,” James shook his head.

“Like you wouldn’t have done the same,” Lily smiled.

 “Well yeah,” James shrugged. “But I don’t have to face a full moon in a couple of days.”

“I’ll be right,” Remus croaked, surprising them both by speaking, followed shortly by his eyes opening. He started to stretch from his curled position but groaned and retreated.

“You’re awake,” Lily cried. “My hero,” she leapt up, leaning over the werewolf, smothering him in kisses across every available surface she could.

“Oi, hey,” Remus blushed heavily, but James could see the smile underneath. “You’ll make Prongs jealous.”

“No, no, she’s right,” James grinned. “Kiss him some more, Lil.”

Lily giggled and shook her head, “Honestly though, thank you Remus. You didn’t have to.”

“Of course, I did,” Moony shrugged. “You’d already taken the brunt of everything. How’s your wrist?”

“Still waiting on Pomfrey,” Lily grimaced, and James realised she was cradling her right arm, her wand arm, into her chest.

“You said you were fine,” he yelped, reaching out to inspect it.

“I am,” Lily winced as he prodded a particularly sore spot. “It’s just broken. I was still able to duel with it.”

“She was quite impressive really, Prongs,” Remus filled in. “I’d be right terrified if I had to face her uninjured.”

“Of course, she was,” James said absently. “I’ll go find Pomfrey.”

“No, don’t,” Lily used her good hand to pull him back. She pushed him down onto the chair she’d recently vacated and sat on the edge of Remus’ bed. “There are plenty of worse students, I can wait.”

“Alright,” James nodded. He pointed his wand at Lily and muttered a few things. Almost instantly the pain in her wrist eased, and then a sling wound around her arm, tying in a neat bow behind her neck. “That should help.”

“Thanks,” Lily said gratefully, feeling her shoulders relax slightly. Not for long though.

“So, who wants to tell me what happened?” James crossed his arms over his chest. “And why everyone’s saying you two ended up in the thick of it?”

Lily and Remus looked at each other, having a silent conversation. Lily obviously lost as Remus played the victim, closing his eyes and lowering his head.

“Well, when we got down to Hogsmeade –“

“Moony!” Lily was cut off by Sirius bursting into the curtained area. He almost pushed her off the bed in his haste to get to Remus. “I just heard. I get one detention and look what happens.”

“Sirius,” Remus struggled to sit up, catching the other boy’s hand as it reached for him. “I’m alright, really.”

“Jumping in front of curses,” Sirius shook his head, “Evans can take care of her bloody self, you know? No offence,” he threw a glance at Lily as he edged onto the bed. He slid onto the bed, bracing his back against the top of the bed frame, and shifted his boyfriend’s head onto his lap. “You just rest there,” he said softly. “Taking curses for witches, honestly.”

“Hey,” James protested mildly. “It was my girlfriend he was protecting.”

“She’s the scariest one of us,” Sirius snorted.

“Excuse me?” Remus protested even as he practically purred under Sirius’ ministrations. “Have you forgotten I’m not really a rabbit?”

“There, there,” Sirius continued to stroke him soothingly, “You just rest.”

Remus grumbled a bit, but his eyes quickly closed.

Lily raised an eyebrow at James, “How come he gets love, and I get an inquisition?”

“He’s better looking than you are,” Sirius quipped.

“Hey, come here,” James reached out and gently guided Lily over to his chair before she could take aim at Sirius as she clearly intended. He sat her on his lap and carefully draped his arms around her. Once his chin rested on her shoulder he whispered into her ear, “You’re better looking.”

Lily ignored Sirius’ scoff, “I wouldn’t mind some of that TLC he’s getting though.”

“Snuggle in then. I’ll wake you when Pomfrey comes by for your wrist.” James kissed her cheek softly and eased her head down to his chest. Lily felt her eyes start to close as she blocked out the bustle of the busy Hospital Wing. She was almost relaxed when he spoke again

“And then you can tell me why you and Remus deliberately walked into the middle of a Death Eater duel in Hogsmeade, and nearly got yourselves killed.”

Chapter Text

The lights of the club swirled and spun in the dark space, casting vibrant colours across her face. Her eyes closed, she could feel the bass pulsing through the floor into her body as she moved. She swayed in time to the beat, her lips forming easy, repetitive lyrics of the song. Her arms raised above her head as she let everything go.

“See, what did I tell you,” Mary yelled over the music as she dance beside Lily. “You can’t even think in here.”

“It’s perfect,” Lily smiled as she threw her head back and let her body follow the drop.

It really was the perfect place. Located directly in the middle of Muggle London, the club was no place for magic and held no reminders. The lights were run by electricity, the smoke was too, and the music following a techno beat in a way that wizards just couldn’t copy.

Surrounded by Muggles, pressing up against each other, moving and bopping to the heat beat, Lily could forget. Forget she was in the middle of a war. Forget she’d become a frontline fighter even though she’d only left school a few months ago. Forget that the boy she’d fancied, her best friend, didn’t appear to like her back. Forget that he was currently on an extremely risky mission she hadn’t also been assigned too.

“Here,” Mary passed her a drink and a shot as she returned from the bar. “Cheers.”

“Cheers,” Lily knocked back the shot with a practised swing and held both the full drink and the empty class up. “Woooooo.”

The girls continued to dance, the music kept pumping and the drinks kept flowing. It was one of those those nights where the alcohol was delicious and loosened her normally tense muscles, but Lily wasn’t feeling the effects. Mary paired off with a handsome looking blonde, snuggling into his arms as they continued to dance.

Lily batted off a few advances, preferring to dance alone. There were several cute guys around, many of them giving her appraising, appreciative looks, but she wasn’t interested. She was never interested in anyone unless they had just the right kind of messy brown hair, hazel eyes and glasses. It was quite a specific look, but at least she knew what she liked.

Returning from the bathroom, Lily saw Mary had worked her way further into a corner for a bit more blatant PDA. She grinned, turned to the bar for another round for herself, and headed to the middle of the floor. There she could be lost in the mess of writhing limbs without anyone realising she was alone.

A hand grabbed at her waist, not the first time of the night. She went to remove it, already summoning the polite laugh and apologetic smile as she turned to face it’s owner, “I have a boyfriend.”

“I bloody hope you don’t,” a familiar voice came back at her. “I’ve only been gone three days.”

Lily’s eyes flew up, her hand clenching the one she held as she met those familiar hazel eyes behind wire specs. They glinted mischievously at her as James smiled. “Don’t tell me someone’s snatched you up?”

“Unfortunately no,” she bit her lip. “What are you doing here? You’re meant to be in Wales.”

“Mission finished earlier. I wanted to see you,” James pulled her a bit closer, leaning down so they could hear each other better, “Missed you.”

Lily’s heart skipped a beat, “I missed you. All okay?”

“Never better,” James slid his hand down her side, tracing her arm before landing on her hip as he moved closer still. Lily felt his breath moving the hair resting on her neck before he spoke huskily in her ear, “You look gorgeous.”

She flushed. Looked up. Looked down. Wondered when her hand had moved to rest on James’ bicep. When the other hand had interlocked their fingers together. “Thanks,” she breathed.

“Dance with me?” James asked with a sweet smile Lily liked to believe he used only for her. She nodded before she could think of a reason not to.

One thing about James, the boy could definitely dance. What had started as forced ballroom dance lessons as part of his pureblood upbringing had developed into a natural rhythm and grace, and a love of movement. Even with music he wasn’t as familiar with, James had no trouble finding the beat.

Lily’s hand gravitated from James’ shoulders to around his neck as they moved in time together. Their feet stepped, knees bent and twisted, hips shook and shimmied as they moved to the remixed Latin-inspired tempo. She shivered as his fingers traced along her arms, leaving a trail of goose bumps she couldn’t explain in the heat of the club. Tingles ran down her spine as he continued his exploration down her back, readily available thanks to her backless dress.

She tried to look up at him, but James had ducked his head down to Lily’s neck and seemed to be inhaling her. “Beautiful,” she was sure she heard him murmur, and could have sworn his lips pressed against the place where her neck met her shoulder. Lily’s own fingers went on a voyage of their own, tracing up the back of James neck to his head until they combed the fine soft hair at the base. The movement brought her even closer to him, and she leant her forehead against his collarbone. The moan he gave from her fingertips scraping along his scalp reverberated through him and thrilled her.

Lily’s brain scrambled as it tried to keep up. She and James had danced before. A couple of times in fact. Slughorn parties, the New Year’s bash, even Common Room celebrations. Harmless dances, hands on waists and shoulders, gentle swaying movements, a spin or two.

This. Was. Different.

Almost as if he read her thoughts, James grabbed at her hips and spun Lily to face away. Before she could react, he pulled again, bringing her back to his chest. Her bum to his groin. He wrapped both arms around her middle, and her own crossed as she held onto his forearms.

“James,” she giggled, leaning back even as her head fell forward. “What-“

She heard him laugh back, even as he moved them in time to the song. “I promised myself something while I was away,” he whispered in her ear.

“What as that?” Lily turned her head just enough that their cheeks pressed together.

“That if I got back in one piece, I wasn’t leaving again until you knew how I felt,” James turned his head slightly more to kiss her softly on the cheek. It was a sweet contrast so the sultry press his hips made into Lily.

“How you feel?” Lily gasped as one of James’ hand slid up, his thumb brushing the underside of her breast through the flimsy dress fabric.

“About you,” James licked at her neck now and Lily felt a fresh sweat break out down her cleavage.

“And what do you feel?” She pushed back into him, one hand reaching back to tug his head down toward hers, fingers scraping through his hair more roughly this time. She was delighted to hear another throaty groan.

“Everything,” James turned her around again, one hand at the nape of her neck, pushing through the long loose locks, the other grasping her bum to pull her back up against him. “For you, I feel everything.” He placed a searing kiss on her lips, dipping into her shocked, open mouth to tangle his tongue with hers. It was desperate, dangerous, debilitating, and oh, so, bloody hot.   

He pulled back and looked at her. His eyes burned with passion, with intention. Gone was the laughing, joking boy she’d known, replaced by a man she loved with an intensity she’d never known. He searched her expression, “Lily, I mean it. I want everything, with you.”

Unable to answer, Lily raised onto her tiptoes to reconnect their lips. Her eyes closed as her senses flooded, inhaling his unique scent, feeling the sensation of his mouth against hers, hearing her own heartbeat louder than any music could be. She nipped at his lower lip when she thought he was pulling away.

He wasn’t though. He gathered her around the waist, taking her weight to lift her higher, bridging their height difference. He moaned when her hand slipped under his shirt and caressed his lower back. He pulled at her hair to change their angles, giving as good as she gave.

Lily was the one to pull back, though James was not to be deterred. He returned his attentions to his earlier target. He nibbled along Lily’s exposed neck, quickly finding her earlobe and the sensitive spot behind it.

“James,” her voice came out in a whine, barely audible above the music.

“If you can talk, I’m not doing this right,” he growled in her ear before sucking on the same spot.

“Wait,” she gasped, “Please.” The gentle nudging of her hands along his jaw pulled James away. He rested his forehead against hers, their panting breaths mingling in the small space between them. She struggled to focus, but it was hard when her wildest, and she did mean wildest, dreams were coming true.

“I want this,” she looked directly into his eyes. “I want you. I want everything, with you.”

James eyes closed for a second, and she stroked gently down his cheek with the pads of her fingers. As they lingered on the edge of his jaw, the hazel brilliance returned to view.

“In that case, I just have one question,” he grinned. “Wanna get out of here?”

Chapter Text

"You're quiet tonight."
James glanced over at Lily, before returning his gaze to his feet, "Yeah, uh, sorry."
"Not what I meant," Lily shook her head. "You don't have to be sorry. It's more," she hesitated, bit her lip, "Is everything okay?"
"Fine, yeah, of course," James shrugged, but he frowned.
"We don't have to talk about it, if you don't want," Lily said gently. "But it's okay if it's not fine, and you do want to talk."
"Oh, right, yeah, um, thanks, Evans," James made an attempt to smile at her, but it was like someone had forgotten to turn on the light behind his eyes.
"Of course, Potter," Lily's brow furrowed but she didn't press further.
They walked on, down empty, dark corridors and dusty, deserted stairs. Lily watched James out of the corner of her eye, but he never really looked up. She started to mentally revise their Transfiguration lesson that day, twirling her wand and mouthing the words of the new spells.
"It's twist and pull," James muttered all of a sudden.
Lily almost dropped her wand, she was so startled. "I'm sorry?"
"It's twist and pull," he said again, looking at her wand. His eyes moved to her face when Lily didn't respond. "You were doing the enlargement spell from today, yeah?"
Lily nodded, "Yeah."
"Well, the wand movements a twist and pull. Not spiral and pull."
"That's the same thing," Lily protested. She looked down at her wand again, completing the movement she'd practised in the lesson.
"No, it's not," James shook his head. "Here, let me," he reached out to her wand hand, but paused halfway, looking up again, "You mind?"
Lily shrugged, moving her arm closer to him. "By all means."
He clasped his hand over hers, electric shocking her, "Sorry," he murmured. "But you need a smaller twist. The smaller the twist, the bigger the effect." He moved their hands, turning the wand in its place.
"Of course it is," Lily replied dryly. "Because that's logical."
James cracked a smile then, his first of the patrol, "Charm are logical, Evans. Transfig's all about the flip."
"That's why it must suit you so well."
"Could say the same about you."
Lily took the retort with a smile and practised the movement again, by herself this time. James nodded approvingly. "Thanks, Potter."
"No worries."
They walked for a bit longer, and Lily was glad to note that while James was still uncharacteristically quiet, he no longer looked like the weight of the world rested on his shoulders.
Eventually he spoke, and Lily couldn't have been more surprised.
"Do you think I'm a shit Head Boy?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Do you think I'm a shit Head Boy?" James kicked at the ground as Lily paused them with a hand of James' forearm.
"I can't believe you're asking me that. Is that what you've been moping over?"
"Can't believe I'd ask because it's so obvious I am?" James guessed glumly.
"Can't believe it because it's not true, and I've ever heard you have any self doubt," Lily squeezed his arm to catch his eye. "What's this about?"
"Nothing," James tried to shake her off and keep walking. "Forget it."
"No, I don't think I will," Lily grabbed his hand this time and pulled until James resigned and turned to her. "Why did you ask me that?"
James sighed, looked away, looked at the floor, sighed again, before finally looking at her, "Because people are talking and they're saying I shouldn't be Head Boy. I wasn't a Prefect, I've had a million and one detentions, I pull pranks, I-"
"Got O's in all your OWLs, tutored students since fifth year, been Quidditch Captain since sixth. Confident, popular, good in a crisis, a voice people will listen to," Lily raised an eyebrow, "Need I go on."
"You forgot handsome," James grinned, though his cheeks were a bit pink.
"And concreted."
"And a toerag," he nodded.
"Not anymore," Lily shook her head. "You're not that boy anymore."
James sighed, "So you don't mind it being me?"
"Delighted," Lily said firmly. "I've almost whipped you fully into shape-"
"Steady on."
"- but it wasn't as hard as I expected," she finished with a grin of her own, but it faded changed to a more serious expression. "Seriously, though, I'm glad it's you."
James looked down to where she still held his hand, and squeezed. "Thanks. Likewise."
Lily smiled and dropped his hand, motioning for them to continue walking.
"I mean, just think, Potter. I could have ended up with greasy old Snape instead. At least you shower." 

Chapter Text

“Alright, Harry,” James lifted his giggling son from the bath, “I know you love bath time but we have to get you feed and put to bed before Mumma gets home and she kills me.”

Harry only gurgled and smiled a large mostly toothless grin back at him as James wrapped him in a towel before hoisting Harry against his shoulder. One plump arm reached out; the tiny hand attached to it grabbing at a clump of James’ hair as they walked down the hallway.

“Hey, hey,” James tried to carefully detangle Harry’s hand from his hair, “That’s only fun when your mum does it mate. It looks like you’re taking after me, so you’ll see what I mean when you get older.”

Harry cooed and succeeded in removing James’ glasses from his face instead, probably for the seventh time that hour. James sighed as he bumped his way through the doorway into Harry’s nursery room and placed him on the change table. They had the usual tug of war as James tried to dress him in a onesie, doing the snaps as best he could with limited eyesight, not wanting the fight of trying to get Harry to give his specs back.

“Now, mate, it’s time for some dinner,” James picked him up again, snuggling his baby softness close, relishing the warmth of his son’s little body, and the way Harry instinctively curled into him.

They headed to the kitchen, James placing him in the highchair at the table, exchanging his glasses for Harry’s sippee cup of water. Now that he could see, he looked through the fridge for Harry’s dinner. Lily wouldn’t have a bar of any magically prepared food for Harry and made all his meals just like her mother had. James’ crowning accomplishment since moving in with Lily was learning to use the microwave and he reckoned he was pretty good at it.

“It must be this one,” James pulled a container of greenish, mushy looking food. He held it up to the light, “I think it’s maybe broccoli?” Harry banged his cup against the highchair table and James chuckled, “Yeah, yeah, I’m hurrying.”

A couple of minutes later James tested the food against his lip and determined it was hot, but not too hot for Harry. He sat himself in a chair and shuffled closer to his son. From previous experiences, learning the hard way, as he liked to tell Lily, he kept the bowl on the table, out of Harry’s reach.

“Here comes the Hogwart’s Express, Harry,” James popped some of the mush on a baby spoon. The aroma floated up to him. It was a bit more pungent than his other meals. He grimaced, “Maybe it’s cabbage. Better you than me, pal.”

Charming his voice to make train noises; chugs, toots and the sound of tracks intermittently, James started to feed Harry. He was a pretty easy baby, with a big appetite. He was about halfway through the bowl when Harry suddenly turned his head away from the spoon.

“What’s up?” James wiped the spoon on the bowl and placed it down. “Do you want some water?” He offered Harry the sippee cup but he batted it away. “No? You can’t be full yet, mate.”

Harry continued to refuse the food, curling his nose and closing his mouth. James decided to give him a little break and stood up to put the kettle on to make himself a cup of tea. Lily was right, it brewed better without magic. He was rummaging around in the cupboard for his favourite mug when he heard a squawk from behind.

“Alright, Har – oh shit,” James turned to see his son rapidly changing colour, his hair growing and shortening just as quickly. Harry’s face was screwed up, but he didn’t seem in pain. More confused.

James drew his wand, “Finite Incantate.” Frustratingly, nothing happened. He tried several other spells to try and stop whatever was going on with his son. Eventually he did the only thing he could think of, knowing what the outcome would be.

As soon as the vomiting spell hit Harry, he immediately began to purge his meal. It went everywhere. All over the highchair. All over the small, cosy, soft, undeniably cute Puddlemere onesie. All over James as he rushed towards Harry to make sure he didn’t choke. All over the floor, causing James to slip as he turned with Harry in his arms.

Down they fell, landing on the ground amidst the mess, Harry saved from injury in his father’s secure arms. James winced as the impact on his tailbone. He surveyed the kitchen from his view point and then regarded his son. Harry had stopped vomiting and seemed to be feeling a lot better, despite no long being clean. He laughed at James and pulled his glasses from him again.

James smiled at him wryly, “You know, Harry, this reminds me a lot of my first date with your mother. Except it was your Uncle Sirius that made all the mess.”

Chapter Text

“I can’t believe you just did that.”

“It was nothing.”

“No, it was bloody amazing.”

“Pretty common place, really.”

“I don’t know where you’re hanging out, but I need to go there if that’s run of the mill stuff.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“You’re being modest.”

“We can’t all have heads as big as yours.”

“Oi, I’m trying to compliment you.”

“About some completely normal thing.”

“It’s normal, you’re ridiculously talented.”

“Seriously –“

“Sirius is here?”

“You did not just –“

“Alright, alright, I was just kidding.”

“Sometimes I just want to –“

“Kill me? But then I couldn’t enjoy the fruits of your labours. Would you deny me such a pleasure.”

“Now you’re just being sarcastic.”

“I’m not honestly. Will you tell me how you do it?”

“It’s pretty simple. Anyone could do it.”

“Not like this. No one does it as well as this.”

“Look I’ll write it down.”

“Won’t that ruin the magic of it?”

“I can show you?”

“But what if I tell someone?”

“It’s not a secret.”

“I don’t think I can handle that responsibility.”

“You’re not making sense.”

“I’m in rapture. I can’t be held accountable for what I say.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Ridiculously in love with you. And your many wonderous talents.”

“I can’t believe I’m in love with you.”

“I can’t believe you’re so gifted.”  

“Are you done yet?”

“Oh no, I have more.”

“Go on, get it out of your system.”

“You’re so brilliant.”

“Ta.”

“Intelligent.”

“Same thing.”

“Bright.”

“Again.”

“Funny.”

“Of course.”

“Quick witted.”

“Cheers.”

“Light on your feet.”

“Uhuh.”

“Crafty.”

“Like a fox.”

“Clever.”

“Hmmm.”

“Vivacious.”

“Oh, good one.”

“Gorgeous, beautiful, stunning.”

“Not really something I can control. But I’ll accept on my parent’s behalf.”

“The light and love of my life.”

“You done?”

“Not even remotely.”

“Honestly, James, you’re making a big deal of nothing. It was only –“

“Guys, come quick, Padfoot’s chasing a butterfly, it’s the cutest thing!”

James and Lily looked at each for about three seconds, and then burst into the biggest smiles. James grabbed Lily’s hand as they ran out the back door.

Chapter Text

Lily sat quietly, feeling the cold seep  through the tiles into her bottom and her feet. Her back ached from discomfort, from hours hunched over, head resting against the bath. In contrast to the pain and numbness of the floor, the chill of the porcelain soothed her feverish forehead. She wiped at the perspiration and sniffed.

James should have been back almost a day ago. He'd left on an Order mission on her behalf, given she was too sick to go. He'd kissed her sweaty forehead good bye as she'd bowed over the toilet. She barely managed a weak smile, a wish of luck and an I love you between rounds. He'd grimaced, never comfortable with seeing her in pain when he couldn't do anything to help.

"I told you not to eat those leftovers," Sirius pointed out as he waved goodbye from the bathroom door.

"Don't get killed, Black," she'd muttered as she wiped at her mouth.

That had been two days ago. She hadn't noticed time passing at first, locked in vicious cycle of fever and illness and sleep. She still felt like a small tiny speck of herself now, and was too afraid to move, but she knew too much had time had passed.

Where were they?

No news could be good news, she knew that. They hadn't found bodies. Or a ransom, which was much more common with purebloods who were captured. The Muggleborns didn't fair quite so well. But no news could also be bad. They could be trapped, injured, unable to escape. They could be lying somewhere, dying slowly, unable to cast a Patronus for help.

Don't think like that, Lily chastised herself. They're strong, they're capable and together they can do anything. Even as she reassured herself fear clenched at her heart, stopping the beats and then causing it to work over time. He was her rock, her person, her best friend, her husband. She couldn't do this life without him.

Even as she thought it, her stomach rolled and she rose onto bruised knees to purge herself yet again.  Given most of her stomach contents had long since gone and she hadn't felt like anything but water, it was a lot of dry retching and stomach cramps before she collapsed back against the bath.

Listlessly she cast another round of cleansing spells on herself, her clothing, and most importantly her teeth. She tasted the bitter acrylic flavour of magic infused mint and winced, but it did improve the general foot taste in her mouth. She ran another diagnostic charm, nodding to herself as the result flashed up, as it had hours earlier.

Time to move, she thought determinedly. She was sick of the floor, and for the first time in hours she no longer felt nauseous. Slowly, reassessing at several points along the journey, she pulled herself up. Standing on her feet for the first time since James had left, her legs felt weak and she held onto the sink, the towel rail, the door frame as she made her way out of the bathroom.

Just get to the couch.

Halfway across the room, at a precarious point where there was nothing to hold on to, Lily was distracted by the sound of the wards. They dinged a low hum throughout the house, a sign that who was coming through knew the way. It could be James, but it could also be Remus or Peter, one of the girls. Dumbledore or Moody, even McGongall.

It could be her husband, or it might be news of him. And there was only one type of news that they would deliver in person. If he was injured, they'd floo.

Lily paused, swaying on unsteady limbs, her heart racing and perspiration beading along her temples. She counted seconds by the thump in her ears as she waited.

The doorhandle turned. No knock proceeded it. Not Dumbeldore or Moody, then. A friend.

The hair came first, sticking out as wild as she'd ever seen it, ash greying the black. His nose quickly followed, strong and prominent, holding up his specs. And then his eyes came from behind the door, hazel warmth meeting hers.

"Lily," he breathed, his face breaking into a weak smile as he took her in.

"You're home," she whispered.

And then her legs gave way and she crumpled to the floor.

"Lily," James said again, but now with panic in his voice, concern in his eyes as he rushed to her. He joined her on the floor, kneeling in front, one hand on her shoulder, the other along her jaw, thumb tipping her head up. "What's wrong? You can't still have food poisoning."

She shook her head, "You were late. I've been so worried."

James frowned, looking apologetic, "I'm sorry. It all took so much longer than we thought. It was more crowded and there were more defences than we expected to get through."

"There was a fight," Lily's hand ghosted over the still healing gash on James cheek. She noted the dark shadows under his eyes, and the way he couldn't move without wincing.

He nodded, "All okay though, on our side at least." When Lily nodded James frowned. "I'm more worried about you. Have you been like this since I left?"

Lily shrugged, clutching at his torn shirt, stroking at his hip, thigh, chest. Anywhere she could reach. "I love you, you know."

"Of course I do," James smiled quizzically, "I waited so long to hear you say it, I'm hardly going to forget."

He didn't get the laugh out of Lily he expected.

"I was so worried," she said quietly. "I was so worried that you weren't coming back."

"I know,"James leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead, despite the sheen of sweat still glistening there. "I think we should take you to Mungos, Lily."

"I don't need the hospital," she straightened her shoulders. "I know what's wrong. And I couldn't stand that something could have happened to you before you knew it too."

"What are you taking about, Lily. I think you have a fever," James pressed his hands to the back of her neck, her forehead, her cheek.

She captured them and kissed his fingers before giving him a weak smile, "I'm not sick, James, at least not in a way that Mungos can help. I'm pregnant. We're having a baby."

James stared at her, his mouth falling open in shock. She would have laughed if she weren't so anxious for his reaction. Now was not the time to be having a baby. There was a war to fight. Nowhere was safe.

But by Merlin, she wanted this baby.

After long, silent moments, Lily sighed, dropping their hands. She bit her lip, trying to hold back tears. "I know, we hadn't planned this. Hadn't talked about it. But I think,"

James suddenly moved, stopping her speech. His head nodded as he looked between Lily's eyes and her still flat stomach. "We're having a baby?"

Lily tried to find an emotion in his face, but it was blank. She nodded slowly.

James' face slowly morphed from the empty mask into a glow of wonderment. "We're having a baby?" he asked, with more awe and certainty this time.

Lily nodded again, a smile spreading across her face.

"We're having a baby," James cried, this time surging toward Lily, covering her mouth with his. He pushed her back gently, one arm cradling her to the floor, hand protecting the back of her head. He continued to kiss her until Lily started giggling. Then he moved downward, planting his lips again and again in a straight line down to her stomach. Once he'd showered every inch with kisses he rested one cheek against her, as if he'd be able to hear the miracle happening inside.

Lily smiled, her hands drifting through his hair, as James whispered to her belly.

They were having a baby. 

Chapter Text

Maybe Rankin

Lily tapped her chin contemplatively over her tea as she watched Thomas Rankin from across the Great Hall. The Hufflepuff was of fair build, blonde, blue-eyed, handsome enough jawline. He played Quidditch, so he’d be fit. He was in most of her NEWT classes, all heavy subjects, so he couldn’t lack for brains. Judging by the way his mates were laughing and falling about themselves, he was humorous too.

Yes, he might do nicely.

Ignoring her friends startled looks and questions, Lily stood from the table and crossed the Great Hall. Smiling widely as Thomas’ friends noticed her beeline towards them, she politely pretended not to see the elbows they gave their mate.

Thomas turned fairly quickly at their prompts, his eyebrows raising when he saw Lily standing in front of him, “Well, this is a bit of an honour. Hullo, Lily.”

“Hi Thomas,” she blushed slightly at his enthusiastic smile and warm welcome. “Mind if I sit?”

He nodded, and obligingly shoved a mate further down the bench to clear a space for her. Lily shot an apologetic look at the boy, who shrugged and grinned. Really no hard feelings amongst this bunch, she thought wryly.

“Don’t let me interrupt the conversation,” she said when she realised they had all fallen silent. “You were all laughing so much I just had to come and find out why.”

“Thomas was telling a story,” one of the boys laughed.  

“No, I really wasn’t,” Thomas glared at him.

“Yeah, it definitely wasn’t about him falling off his broom at Quidditch practise,” another boy muttered, only to be shoved by the first one.

Thomas laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head, “There might have been a bit of an accident last night,” he admitted to Lily with a sheepish smile.

She leaned forward, her hand brushing against his forearm, “Happens to the best of us,” she reassured him coyly, making herself feel a bit sick.

“So, what do we owe this pleasure?” Thomas asked curiously, pushing a glass of pumpkin juice towards her.

Lily took a sip, “Cheers. And nothing owed. Just thought we could catch up outside of classes for once. Complain about Runes where Venter can’t hear us.”  

Thomas laughed, “We’ve been partnered together this term,” he explained to his mates. “Did you get that homework done?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t too bad once you got through the first couple translations. Kind of knew what to expect after that. You?”

“Unfortunately, not. I’ll be scrambling to get it all done tonight, I reckon,” Thomas grimaced.

“I’ll be in the library if you need any help. We could study together,” Lily put up her most charming smile, brushed his arm again, and batted her eyelashes a bit for good measure. In case he didn’t get her drift.

He didn’t, “Oh great, yeah, cheers. Sam and Mike might need a bit of a hand too. If that’s alright?”

Lily’s smile dimmed slightly, but with a bit of work she fought to keep it there, “Yeah, course. More the merrier.” She realised her heart rate hadn’t changed once during the interlude and decided it was time to cut her loses and run. “Well, maybe see you later. Better get back to the girls and ready class.  See you, bye, bye Thomas.”

After smiling around at them all, a hand to Thomas’ shoulder just in case he decided to become less oblivious, she left the group and headed back for the girls.

“What the,”

“Fuck,”

“Was that,”

Lily looked at Dorcas, Mary and Marlene respectively as she sat back down. They were looking at her in varying stages of disbelief and concern. “What?”

“Since when do you flirt with Thomas Rankin?” Mary curled her nose up. “And since when do you flirt so obviously.”

“It was like watching a dog on heat,” Marley agreed, and ignored the scowl Lily gave her. “It was, Merlin, girl. Have some class.”

“You did come on a bit strong,” Dorcas always displayed more tact than the others. She cast her eyes further down the table, “I thought you were interested in someone else though?”

“Don’t think that’s working out,” Lily admitted with a shrug, refusing to follow her gaze. She hadn’t known he was in the Hall when she’d gone over to Thomas but wasn’t sure what she would have done differently if she had.

“You seemed pretty chumming after the match last weekend,” Mary frowned. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Lily said hastily, packing up her things and shoving them into her bag. “I just, I don’t think he’s into me anymore.”

“Lily, I don’t think that’s true.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t think you could be more wrong.”

Where the girls had spoken in coordination early, now they spoke over the top of each other. Lily smiled at them and stood from the table. “It’s fine,” she assured them, trying to sound bright and carefree. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll get over it.”

Another round of protests started but Lily waved them off and turned away. She walked quickly out of the Hall, keep her head down, arms crossed over her chest as she walked past the rest of the table. She had Charms next, and felt relief knowing she could chitchat with Flitwick quite happily for all the time she was early. Now there was a man who would never let her down.

Just as she reached the long corridor that led to the classroom, she was grabbed from behind and pulled behind a tapestry. A hand covered her mouth to stifle her scream. Her captor pulled at her waist and pushed her against the wall in the small, almost pitch-black alcove.

“What the fuck was that, Evans,” the voice whispered harshly in her ear. The hand lifted from her mouth so she could answer, coming to rest on the wall next to her head, caging her in.

Lily simultaneously relaxed and tensed as she recognised the voice. “What was what?”

“Don’t pretend,” James tightened his grip on her waist. “Don’t be cute.”

“I’m not being cute. And I’m not pretending anything,” Lily pushed at James’ chest indignantly, but he didn’t budge. “Oi, let me out.”

“Not until you tell me why I just watched you flirt with some thick Hufflepuff who didn’t even have the brains to know his luck had come in.”

She huffed, “He is not thick.”

“He fell off his broom, Evans! Trying to talk and fly at the same time.”

“Not everyone can be a bloody show off like you.”

“He’s a Quidditch player! He should be able to multi-task at least a little bit.”

“He’s nice,” she protested feebly, not even sure why she was bothering.

“He’s a buffoon,” James squeezed at her waist again. “And you haven’t denied flirting with him.”

“Did you want me to lie?” Lily’s eyes were finally adjusting to the dim light, and she tilted her head up to look at the Head Boy challengingly.  “Because we said we wouldn’t do that.”

“I want an explanation,” James meet her stare head on. “I think I’m owed that, at least.”

“I don’t owe you anything,” she jabbed at his chest with her index finger.

“No? So, it’s normal for you to kiss someone at a party, and then flirt with someone else three days later?” James tilted his head at her challengingly. “That’s appropriate behaviour to you?”

“Is it appropriate behaviour to kiss someone and then ignore them for three days?” Lily glared at him, “Because that’s what you did.”

“I wasn’t ignoring you.”

“No, what would you call it then?”

“Trying to make bloody sure that you didn’t just kiss me because you were drunk! Trying to make sure you didn’t freak out after months of playing at this bloody dance with you.”

“I wasn’t drunk,” Lily blinked, leaning back when she realised she’d been leaning forward, into James. “Why did you think I was drunk?”

“You smelt like that punch Sirius spiked,” James shrugged. His hand loosened on her waist. “I only realised later that you’d probably had no idea he’d dumped all that Ogden’s into it.”

Lily shook her head, “I didn’t drink it. Mary spilt her drink on me early on, and I realised what was in it when I saw the empty bottles under the table when I got her a new one. I wasn’t drunk.”

“Oh,” James looked down, into the small, empty space between them. “Good.”

“Worried I was going to say you forced me?”

“Worried you were going to say you regretted it.”

“Well, don’t you? Regret it, I mean,” Lily hastened to continue when James looked at her in confusion. “You’ve ignored me since, so I figured it was a bad kiss and you realised you’ve been wasting all this time chasing after me.”

“Is that what you really think?” James moved somehow closer to her, and his hand slid further up until his hand spanned her ribcage.

“Or that it really was just all a game to you,” Lily kept her chin tucked, gaze fixed on James’ cloak pin. “That you’d caught me and now you were done with me.”

“Is that all you think of me,” his voice was rough again, but the hand that moved from the wall to tilt her chin up was gentle. “You really think that little of me.”

“I didn’t,” she tried to explain, “But when you didn’t say anything, avoided me in the Tower, sat down the other end of the Hall, I didn’t know what else to think.”

“You goose,” he growled. “I was trying to not freak you out. And I didn’t know if you’d told the girls, seeing no one said anything to me, and I didn’t think I could be around you without making it obvious.”

“How would you make it obvious?” Lily’s voice sounded small against his harsher tone.

“Because I didn’t think I could be near you without wanting to do this again,” James didn’t wait for Lily to digest his words before he surged forward, capturing her mouth with his. The kiss was searing, hot and demanding, pulling Lily forward into him, leaving her clutching at his shirt as she tried to keep up. His tongue sought entrance and slid along hers, his hand weaving into her hair to hold the back of her head. He used his grip to change the angle, creating a gorgeous slip and slide of their lips.

Lily’s hands travelled incessantly, across his chest, to his shoulders, to his neck, where her fingernails traced lightly along his hairline. She moaned as his thumb brushed against the underside of her breast. She fought to give as good as she got, pushing up onto her toes to even out the height difference. James took pity, wrapping an arm around her and lifting, pulling her against him and holding her there. Lily took advantaged of this new angle to latch her lips to his neck, sucking at his pulse point until he groaned in much the same tenor as her own response.

Eventually they slowed and pulled back, breathing heavily. James slowly released her, but the slide of Lily’s body against his as her feet hit the floor cause a fresh sheen of sweat to break out and a shudder ran through her body.

“I could never regret that, Lily,” James whispered huskily in her ear before kissing a sensitive spot just underneath it. “And it’s not a game to me.”

“It’s not a game to me, either,” Lily responded hurriedly.  “And I’m sorry, about before. I was embarrassed that you seemed to be over me and guess I wanted a bit of an ego boost.” She winced, “Not that it worked.”

“Tosser,” James kissed her again, a balm to her wounded pride. “If he can’t work out when the most gorgeous girl in school is flirting with him, he doesn’t deserve even a hello from you.”

“My heart wasn’t really in it,” Lily admitted.

“Good,” James half glared down at her, but she couldn’t tell he was trying not to smile at her admission. “No more flirting with anybody, except me. Or you won’t like what happens.”

Lily slid her hands from James’ shoulders to back up around his neck, “If it’s anything like this, I might be tempted.”

James roared and launched at her, stealing a kiss before returning his attention to her neck, nipping and sucking even as he muttered scolds at her. Lily’s giggles turned to a gasp as his hands went to her hip and her breast, taking no mercy as they glided across her body, setting it on fire.

“Alright,” she breathed shakily. “No more flirting. I swear.”

Chapter Text

Lily smoothed down her lilac dress, well as much as you could smooth a full meringue skirt. The silk was swathed in chiffon and crystals. She looked like a Polly Pocket Princess, complete with matching shoes and a smooth perfect bun.

“Oh, Lily,” Petunia gushed as she passed her her bouquet. “Purple is just such a great colour for your dress.”

Lily smiled and thank her, plucking a small pink donut from the bouquet and eating it. “Thanks, sis. Did you get your bouquet too?”

“Right here,” Petunia squealed with joy as took a bite from a cookie without removing it from the stem. “Ready when you are.”

Lily nodded and they headed into the fun park. Weaving their way through clowns, children and carnival folk, they eventually made their way to the bouncy castle grounds. They met Lily’s father under the balloon arch, along with Sparkles, the Evans family golden retriever.

“Oh, Lily, you look like a marshmellow,” her dad wiped a tear from his eye, straightening his football referee socks and putting his whistle to his lips. He handed her Sparkles’ lead, “On my whistle, Pet.”

Petunia nodded, and at the sound of the whistle started to skip down the aisle. She stopped halfway to pluck a cookie and eat it, before moonwalking the rest of the way. She stopped at the end, air high fiving the minister before taking her place.

“Play fair, Lil,” Lily’s dad smiled as he said the words he’d given before many of her football games growing up. “Give ‘em hell.”

When he sounded the whistle for the second time Lily took a deep breath and took her first step forward. The next came easier, and by four steps in she was jigging and kicking as if she’d never stopped Irish dancing. Michael Flatley had nothing on her. Some of the donuts fell loose from her bouquet and bounced down the aisle, but Sparkles was pretty good at cleaning those up. It was a close call when Lily’s Nan reached for a donut, to help her low blood sugar, and Sparkles emerged victorious.  

Lily performed a high kicking turn at the top of the aisle, throwing Sparkles lead in the air. The golden fur baby headed directly for the large black dog sitting next to the bouncy castle. She made some high-pitched whines, pawing at the almost horrified best man, while the wolf and rat next to him appeared to snicker. Lily couldn’t really tell, given they’d both fallen onto their backs, legs in the air.

Lily laughed and clambered up onto the bouncy castle, jumping her way over to the groom and the minister.

“Well, hey beautiful,” James smiled at her. His powder blue tuxedo made his eyes stand out.

“Hey handsome, facing seeing you here” Lily giggled. “Donut?”

“Sure,” James took one as the minister started to speak.

It was a nice ceremony, despite the minister falling over several times when James tried to double bounce Lily but got the bearded man instead. It wouldn’t have been so funny if he hadn’t taken the photographer and videographer as well, and they all tripped over themselves to get back up.

They signed the wedding certificates as U2’s I still haven’t found what I’m looking for played over the speakers, most of the crowd, many of whom were dressed as sports mascots, sung along.

“I now pronounce you, husband and wife,” the minister finally announced, “You may kiss the bride.”

James bounced expertly closer to Lily, and the laughter died in her throat as he looked down at her. His hands cupped her face, angling it closer to his. Lily mirrored him, her thumbs brushing his cheeks as her hands brushed over his neck.

“I love you, Mrs Potter,” James whispered, before closing the gap and brought his lips to hers. Lily’s eyes fluttered closed, and she sighed into the kiss. The first kiss was soft and gentle, but as James pulled back slightly and changed the angle, she pushed onto her toes. Her lips pressed more firmly, her tongue swiping at the edges of his mouth, before brushing against his.

James’ arms moved to pull her closer, lifting her off her feet. Lily’s arms wrapped around his shoulders as he did, continue their kiss despite the catcalls from the crowd. She pulled back slightly, smiling as she rubbed her nose against his, “I love you too, husband.”

James’ smile lit up the bouncy castle, and he opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a cry from the Minister. Sparkles had gotten bored of try to come on to Padfoot, and had jumped into the bouncy castle instead, knocking the man back off his feet. She then ran to the newly-weds, pushing on Lily’s back.

“Oh no,” Lily cried as James’ legs gave way and they fell back. It was as if they were in slow motion, Lily looking between James, Sparkles, the gasping crowd as they went. She tucked her in chin into James’ chest, feeling his hand come to cradle the back of her head as they braced for impact.

Bang

Lily’s eyes flew open as Marlene cackled with laughter. She tapped Lily’s head again with her wand again.

“Wake up, sleepy head,” she snorted. “History is over.”

“What?” Lily raised her head from the desk, looking around the room. She was in the History of Magic classroom, that was already half empty as her classmates piled out the door. She looked down, but instead of a horrendous purple dress she was dressed in her normal school robes. Her hand clenched around her donut bouquet, only to discover it was the sugar quill she must have fallen asleep sucking.

“You fell asleep like thirty minutes ago,” Marlene explained, pulling her up.

“Why didn’t you wake me,” Lily tried to gather her things quickly.

“You were so peaceful,” the brunette shrugged. “You were smiling. Good dream?”

“Yes,” Lily smiled, and then frowned, shaking her head, “I mean, no. It was, um, weird?” She tried not to blush as she thought of that kiss.

“Alright, Evans?” James was waiting for them with Sirius as the girls walked out of the room. Marlene quickly paired off with Sirius, walking down the corridor without a look back.

“Uh, yeah, fine,” Lily stammered. Really, what did one say to the boy they’d just married and kissed for the first time. Even if it was a dream.

“You look a bit pale,” he reached out to brush a bit of hair back from her face.

“Must be low blood sugar,” she mumbled, knowing she’d lost the battle of the blush.

“Well, good thing we’re headed to lunch,” James grinned. “Maybe there’ll be donuts again.”

It wasn’t until their actual wedding day that James ever found out why Lily had laughed so hard she’d cried when he said that. And again when they got to lunch and there were several piles of donuts on the table.

Chapter Text

It was happening again.

Lily rolled over slowly, turning to face the middle of the bed for a better view. Light from the waning moon shone through a gap in the curtains, illuminating her husband’s face.

His brow was furrowed even though his eyes were squeezed tightly shut. He whined again, snorting and huffing. Lily pulled back slightly to check his hands and feet. Sure enough, his hands were flexing back and forth, alternating across the sheets near Lily’s shoulder. James’ feet worked in tandem as well, paddling back and forth.

He was running.

Prongs was running.

Lily smiled, smothering a giggle into the pillow. She’d seen him do this before after a full moon. He must be dreaming of his Animagus form, still chasing his friends through the forest. He whined again, tossing his head a bit against the pillow.

“Go, Prongs, run,” she whispered softly.

James responded by moving faster, his hands and feet propelling themselves under the blankets. He huffed and puffed.

“Where’s Pads?” Lily asked. “Get him. Get Padfoot. Chase him.”

James whined and went even faster still. His bum wiggled behind him. His head nodded and shook against the pillow.

Lily couldn’t help it. She continued to egg him on, pushing Prongs to run faster and faster, until he almost headbutted her in his rush to find his friends. It was her peel of laughter that finally ruined it. It burst from her, and she was helpless to stop it as it filled the room.

James’ limbs stilled, and his breathing shallowed. “What is it,” he murmured sleepily, burrowing his head into his pillow, arm curling under his head. His eyes blinked a few times but stayed close.

Lily leaned forward, smiling, kissing his forehead smooth. “Nothing love, go back to sleep.”

Chapter Text

“So, you’re the girl that has to keep my son in line this year? My condolences.”

Lily turned to find herself looking at a beautiful, if middle aged, tall, brunette woman. Hazel eyes, familiar and yet different, smiled kindly at her. There was no doubt, who this woman was.

“Unfortunately, it seems Dumbledore thinks I’m up to the task,” Lily nodded. She smiled broadly, “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mrs Potter.”

“Euphemia, dear, please,” James’ mum reached out a hand to squeeze Lily’s shoulder. “I’ve heard so much about you already, I feel as if we’re already friends.”

“Good things, I hope,” Lily blushed, looking down at the station platform.

“From my son, you’d think you were a Saint,” Euphemia smirked, obviously very certain that she’d be embarrassing her son by saying such. “I see he didn’t exaggerate in the looks department though. I get more reliable information from his brother.”

“And what did Sirius have to say?”

“That you’re a force to be reckoned with, as mischief as them but better at not getting caught, cleverest witch in school.”

“And that if Prongs ever landed her, she’d be the best daughter in law one could ever ask for,” Sirius came up from behind Euphemia, and draped an arm around the older woman’s shoulders.

Lily blushed, which had been Sirius’ intention, “That’s pretty high praise, coming from you. Have a stroke over summer, did you?”

“I can be kind,” Sirius looked affronted.

“When you want something, yeah. So, what is it? I’m not putting a word in with Mary again, you’ve really stuffed that one up my friend.”

“That was not my fault!”

“So, that girl’s lips just fell on you in the pub, did they?” Lily raised her eyebrow challengingly.

Sirius was prevented from protesting again as Euphemia let out a laugh, even as she socked her adopted son across the stomach gently, “Oh, he didn’t mention you could go toe to toe with him, as well as James. Good for you, love. He needs keeping in line just as well, you know.”

“I do know,” Lily nodded.

“And we’ll have a talk about how you treat girls, later,” Euphemia frowned at Sirius. “Fleamont’s going to be just delighted to hear about this.”

“Oh, no, we don’t have to tell him,” Sirius shook his head. “It was all a misunderstanding-“

“Fleamont?” Lily asked over top.

“James’ dad,” Sirius grinned.

“Terrible name, I know, dear,” Euphemia smiled. “And to think, I married him anyway.”

“I’m sure he had some redeeming qualities,” Lily couldn’t help share the women’s joke.

She nodded gravely, “Treats women like they’re higher beings. Rightly so. He passed it onto James, and I thought it was rubbing off on you,” she glared at Sirius, “But clearly there’s still some work to be down.”

Sirius grimaced, “Well, it sounds like it’s time for me to get on the train, before he and James come back then.”

“No, you’ll stay right here –“

“See you in the holidays, Mum. Much love,” Sirius interrupted her, kissing her check exuberantly, squeezing her to him as he threw a wink at Lily, was off.

Euphemia shook her head as she watched him duck through the crowd, “He only calls me Mum when he’s trying to pull the wool over my eyes. As if I don’t see it.”

“Tries similar with me too,” Lily laughed. “I’m not sure why, it almost never works.”

“You’re immune to his charms, which is a good thing. Not something he’s use to, but good for him none the less,” Euphemia nodded approvingly and turned back to Lily. “Now, how was your date, my dear?”

“Oh, um,” Lily blinked. She should have probably expected that, given it had only been three days ago, and of course James would have told his parents where he was going.

“He was quite nervous,” Euphemia confided.

“He wasn’t the only one,” Lily offered. “It was nice. I think James had a good time?”

“The best,” his mum confirmed. “We couldn’t really get him to shut up about it after. But it was nice to see him so happy.”

Lily thought her cheeks might just stay permanently red after this chat, “I’m glad.”

“Oh, what a surprise to find you here, Mum. I told you not to accost her,” Lily was delighted to see James step up beside her as he spoke, a wry expression aimed toward his mother. He placed a gentle hand on the small of her back as he smiled down at her, “Alright, Evans?”

“Great,” she promised.

“I am not accosting her,” Euphemia sniffed indignantly. “We simply happened to come across each other.”

“I should have known what you were doing when you disappeared as James was putting his trunk on the train,” A tall, distinguished silver fox joined the group, shaking his head at Euphemia. “I knew you didn’t see Celestia Warbeck.”

“I could have.”

“Mum, you’ll scare her off,” James frowned. “We talked about this.”

“No, she won’t,” Lily said firmly. “I like her.” She reached down and took James’ hand, enjoying his start and look of surprise before his eyes turned warm.

“You don’t know what she’s like, Lily,” James warned, squeezing her fingers. “She’ll have you over for tea every weekend, drop around unexpectedly with wine, take you shopping.”

“Sounds quite lovely, actually.”

“It’d be nice to have a daughter,” Euphemia said enthusiastically. “James, I don’t think you exaggerated at all. She’s quite perfect. Don’t stuff this up, will you?”

“I’d better introduce myself,” James’ dad said over James’ indignant snort. “Fleamont Potter.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Lily shook his hand, grateful she’d been warned of his name early. “You’d be the ring master of the circus?”

“Someone has to,” Fleamont agreed. “It’s a full time job.”

“Well, at least you’ll get a break while they’re at school,” Lily looked up at the station clock and then James, “We should probably get on, we’ve got Prefects to meet.”

James nodded. He let go of her hand for the flurry of goodbyes. Lily was amused but touched to find herself included in all the hugs. Her family were a bit too stiff upper lip for much hugging, and she much enjoyed it herself.

“Well, that’s my parents,” James looked a bit embarrassed as he took her hand again as they headed down the platform. “They’re a bit full on.”

“I think they’re lovely,” Lily smiled warmly at him. She stepped onto the bottom train step and turned to face James, their heights almost equal now.

“Even though they’ve claimed you as a daughter in law already?” James asked as he stepped closer, holding onto her hips.

Lily placed both hands around James’ neck as she leant closer, their foreheads touching, noses brushing. “Not to freak you out after one date, but I wouldn’t mind claiming them as in laws, one day.”

Within seconds cat calls, cheers and jeers filled the platform as the Head Boy pulled the Head Girl into his arms and kissed her soundly in front of everyone.

Chapter Text

It might have been the extra inches he grew over summer. Where before break they had been near eye level, now he towered over her. It frustrated her as he held a chocolate frog over her head on the train, causing her to brush her body right up against his as she stood on his toes and stretched for the sweet. Her hand rest on his firm chest to keep her balance, her fingers clenching into his shirt as she felt the muscles that had developed underneath. He didn't appear unaffected by her touch, his breath hitching, distracting him enough she was able to pull his arm down and claim her prize.

It might have been the view she got of those muscles when he changed his shirt on the way to Hogwarts. To be fair, he had tried to be discreet, turning to face away from the group as he ditched his tee and replaced it with the white school shirt. But Sirius had told a joke that he'd ended up the butt of and caused him turn around. Lily had gotten a glimpse of tanned, taut muscle, defined into a perfect six pack, with strong obliques leading down under the belt of his pants in a V. The sight had turned her mouth dry, and she'd had to work to blink before he finished doing the buttons up and the deliciousness disappeared.

It might have been the new glasses he wore. They framed his face, making the most of his strong nose and angular jaw. The hazel of his eyes shone brightly out through the lenses. She was fascinated watching the gold flecks dance within the greens and browns, come to life as he laughed and teased her. His eyes were full of fun and mischief still, like they always had been. But in quieter moments there was a seriousness there now, a calm, an awareness of the wider world. And given how often she looked up only to find him looking back, an awareness of her.

It might have been his hair. It had grown out again after Sirius had hexed him bald at the end of last year and Pomfrey had refused to fix it. He'd worn a hat or a beanie for the worst of it, but now it was back to his normal messy locks. He still ran his hand through it, but it seemed a more reassured movement now, rather than the anxious tick it had been in the best. Watching his hands slide through the silky locks made Lily's own hands ache to do the same. She wanted to tug at it, scrap her fingernails along his scalp.

It might have been his hands. Long fingers, decorated with cuts and callouses from Quidditch. They were always moving, his hands. As he spoke they gestured wildly, demonstrating his point and illustrating his words. When the rest of him was still his hands refused to be, tapping against his legs as he listened to the conversation around him, sketching idle shapes on his knee. They were soft and secure when they held her waist as she stumbled getting off the train, holding her until she found her balance. Lingering and reluctant to release her, combined with a murmured "Alright, Evans?" that had her smiling and nodding through a blush.

It might have been his manners, allowing the girls to take the first carriage before the boys despite Peter's moans about how hungry he was. Elbowing his friend in the gut, he was overzealous and exuberant as he waved the girls into the carriage, ever the showman. But his ingrained gentlemanly behaviour showed itself again as he captured her hand to help her up the steps into. She was behind her friends  having stopped to bid Hagrid a welcome before joining them, and he muttered something about not wanting her to fall again. She was startled by the gesture, glad the other girls were already talking inside the carriage as she paused on the step and looked at him. She returned his gentle smile, enjoying the warmth and comfort it brought her, and squeezed his hand before releasing it. Her fingers dragged across his palm as she ducked into the carriage, and he closed the door softly behind her.

It might have been his kindness. Never more present than when he made a deliberate move to sit at the end of the table across from her, ready to welcome the first years after their sorting. He gave out smiles, high fives and even a hug to the small girl who looked so shocked and awed by everything around her. Lily knew by his glance at her he recognised she was a Muggleborn as well, and her heart felt like melting as she watched him devote a lot of time and attention to the girl, explaining the castle, the Hall's ceiling, the ghosts to her. All this while his friends larked about and over indulged in the delicious food. He never once looked impatient. Never once looked like he had other things he'd rather be doing.


"Damn," Lily swore under her breath, "James really did get more attractive over the summer."

Chapter Text

“Here you are, dears,” Rosmerta smiled as she placed the basket of chips in front of them. Lily and James smiled back at her tentatively, remaining silent even after the witch had returned to the bar.

“So, uh,” James ruffled his hair, remembered she hated it, and brought his hand back down. “Chip?” He shuffled the basket closer toward her.

“Thanks,” Lily smiled warmly, trying to catch his eye. Had been since they sat down. She took a chip, crunching on it, but frowned when James didn’t do the same, even as he stared at them. Or the table. Or anything in the Three Broomsticks that wasn’t her apparently. “Is something wrong?”

“What?” James looked startled. “No, of course not.” He looked up at her, smiled with flat lips and then quickly looked away.

“It’s just,” Lily hesitated, glancing around them to check all the other tables were mid conversation. “I know I asked you out, but you didn’t have to say yes if you didn’t want to. I wouldn’t have taken offence, honestly, if you’ve changed your mind.”

“That’s not-“

“It’d be okay if you had though,” Lily shrugged, the faintest colouring of a blush starting to stain her cheeks.

“I haven’t-“

“Merlin knows, I made you wait long enough until I was sure,” she cut him off again, fiddling with the chip basket in front of her.

“That’s not the-“

“Honestly, I’m a full grown witch, you can just tell me and we’ll finish the chips as friends and we don’t have to ever mention this-“

Lily cut off as James’ hand reached out to still the bottle of butterbeer she was now spinning on the table between her hands. It was her turn to look up to meet his direct gaze. “That’s not it,” he said urgently. “Not at all.”

“Well, what is it then?” Lily felt a bit like crying. “You seemed pretty happy when I asked you,”

“I was.”

“But now you can barely say two words to me without looking away,” Lily shrugged again. “I mean, my uniform you can’t take your eyes off when you think I’m not looking-“

“You know about that?”

“- but I actually dress up for you, and you don’t even glance long enough to appreciate it? What is up with you?” Lily sounded a bit more hurt than cross now.

To be fair, James knew she had a point. He’d been acting like a cad and now she was upset. Rightly so. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “You look lovely.”

“As if you’d know.”

“You do, though. Lovely, stunning, I promise,” he tried his best to meet her eye. “It’s just…”

“You’ve changed your mind,” Lily sighed, looking glumly back down at the table.

“Haven’t,” he shook his head firmly. “Promise. Just let me get my head together.”

Lily took another chip, “You have two minutes,” she declared as she munched on it.

James only needed one. He took a deep breath, mentally slapped himself, and turned to face Lily, taking her by surprise when his hand covered her own where it rested on her thigh under the table. Her eyes flew to his, the green sparkling at him in that way that always left him a bit breathless, so his voice came out raw and harsh when he first spoke.

“I haven’t changed my mind. I’m sorry if it seems that way. You are beautiful, you’re always beautiful. You could have turned up in a bloody sack and I still would have probably acted like this. That’s the problem, you see. I can’t think properly around you. You’re too clever, too funny, too quick and then I look at you, and you’re so gorgeous that everything goes,” he tried to get another breath in, “well, a bit blank to be honest. And I though I’d learnt to handle that after all these years. I know how to hold it all back, squash it all down so I can be a normal person around you, and be your friend. But apparently, the tiniest idea that you might be interested in more… It’s, ah well,” he reached up to ruffle his hair again, his fingers threading through to catch in the locks this time.

“It’s made you go a bit blank?” Lily suggested tentatively, a small smile on her face as she turned to face him more.

“Yeah,” he agreed, his hand falling down to his lap.

Lily turned her hand in his to squeeze it, “Can I do anything to help?”

James winced, “I’m not sure, really.”

She nodded slowly, releasing his hand. James felt his heart stutter as she shifted her weight. Was she leaving?

But Lily merely adjusted her position in the booth, so she could lean forward without losing balance. “I have an idea.”

“You do?” James’ voice came out in a rush as she rested a hand on his knee. “What is it?”

“What if we just short circuit your system?” Lily suggested, “Do you think that will help it reboot and then maybe we can get back to our date?”

“What did you have in mind?” James didn’t know how he was making sounds when she was this close.

“Well, for starters,” her other hand reached up toward his hair. “I always wanted to know if this was a soft as it looked,” her fingers sifted through the unruly strands, tracing along his scalp in a circular, massaging motion. She hummed, “I think I can see why you’re always touching it.”

James managed to stifle the low moan that was not appropriate for such a public place at her touch, “Ummmm,” was all he managed in response, his head tilting to lean into her hand, encouraging it.

“Not quite rebooting yet, huh,” Lily smirked slightly. She pushed herself up a bit higher, her hand finishing its adventure through his hair to hold the back of his neck as she brought her face toward his. James’ hand automatically came up to her hip to steady her. His fingers clenched on their own accord into the soft fabric of her cardigan.

“What about this,” she whispered softly as she closed the distance to his lips with her own. James was forever thankful to whatever higher being was looking out for him that day and managed to lower his head down to meet her partway.

The kiss was soft, a press that was firm yet tentative, as many first kisses are. And yet, it didn’t feel like a first kiss. After the initial seconds, Lily pulled back slightly, her mouth opening, most likely to check if he’d managed to live through it. James didn’t give her the chance to speak though, moving forward to kiss her again, taking advantaged of her slightly parted lips to take the kiss further. His tongue slid along her lower lip before moving to find her own. His other hand came up to cradle her face, allowing him to change the angle, once, twice as he let his brain shut off and his body take over. He felt Lily’s touch on his skin, her hand having graced across his stomach before sliding under his jumper and up his side. The warmth of her fingers left a tingle as they moved. James’ hold on her hip released as his arm moved around behind her back to gather her closer to him.

“And that, Harry, is where your Uncle Sirius ruined it all,” James turned to the baby, raising his eyebrows significantly at him, even as Harry gurgled happily from the one clean spot in the ruined kitchen as his father cleaned it up.

James continued as if Harry hadn’t seemed delighted, “It seems while I was wooing your mother, Sirius had accepted a bet from Peter that he couldn’t get Aberforth to serve him alcohol. And once he succeeded, accepted another bet that he couldn’t drink a bottle of Arthurs. The nastiest, cheapest Firewhiskey blend there is.”

Harry cooed and waved him on in his story with a shake of a rattle.

“Well, what do you think happened, Harry? You’re a clever boy. After your mother succumbed to my god-like kisses, we finished our chips and went to have a romantic stroll down the street. Unfortunately, that was at the same time your Uncles were getting kicked out of The Hog, so of course we crossed paths.”

Harry let out a bit of noise that could have been a well-timed cry of surprise, but also could indicate the need for a nappy change.

“The cold air hit Sirius like a bit of a slap in the face after managing to put away all the Arthurs. He was barely standing, Pete trying to hold him up even as he argued that if he had to carry Pads home it wasn’t really a win. He always wants out of his bets, Pete does. Finds every loophole,” James got distracted for a moment, but was brought back into line by another ominous noise from his son. “Oi, I’ve got enough to clean up, can we save the nappy change for later?”

He went back to mopping as he continued, “So, as I pull your mum over the to side of the street for a bit more,” he glanced at his child for a second, “well, wooing, we’ll get to the specifics when you’re older, who should stumble across us, but those bloody pests of mates of mine.” He shook his head as the still vivid memory played in his mind. “Sirius got halfway through trying to heckle us, when he stumbled, fell to his knees,”

“And threw up, all over me,” Lily finished for him. James whirled to see her leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed as she surveyed the disaster in front of her. “Do I want to know?”

“Your son takes after his uncle,” James lent his mop against the counter and crossed to her in three long strides. He pulled her into his arms, kissing her quickly but soundly, “Your home,” he breathed.

“Safe and sound,” Lily agreed as she squeezed him back, her head snuggling into her chest. “Just in time to hear you tell lies to our son.”

“What do you mean?” James begrudgingly went back to his mop as Lily released him to pick up Harry, cuddling him close and wiggling her nose against his to make him laugh. “I was telling him about how his projectile vomit reminded me of our first date.”

“Well, that part is true, at least,” Lily looked around the kitchen again. “What on earth happened here?”

“He vomited up his dinner. What was it? He was changing colours and looked unwell, so I didn’t see another way to get it to stop,” James motioned to the sink. “And what did I lie about?”

Lily moved to examine the bowl in the sink, shifting Harry to her other hip as she brought it up to her face t o sniff. “You were not the one doing the wooing, my love.”

“Was to,” James protested with a smile. He loved this argument, no matter how many times they had it. “You were overwhelmed my charm, my good looks, my kisses.”

“I’m not the one that was practically non-functional,” Lily smirked. “You’re lucky I took pity and kissed you.”

“You’re lucky I jumped in front of you and took most of Sirius’ vomit,” James said indignantly, pointing the mop at her. “It was heroic.”

“My hero,” Lily said dryly, she put the bowl back in the sink. “Still not any smarter than you were then though.”

“I took the same NEWTs as you, you know. Aren’t you going to help clean up?”

“Not at all. If you’re so clever, why did you feed our son a half finished Polyjuice potion without recognising the smell?” Lily raised her eyebrows challengingly as she moved toward the hall with their son. “Come on, Harry, let’s leave your dad to mull over his mistakes, and hope to the heavens you’ve got your mum’s brains as well as eyes.”

Harry laughed with his mother, waving a chubby fist at James over Lily’s shoulder as he went off for another bath and bedtime story.

Chapter Text

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Lily could feel the depression in the bed as James sat on the edge. She remained curled into a small ball, her hair still wet, soaking the pillow and sheets. She faced the wall, her eyes staring blankly at a chip in the plaster. They’d banged a heavy dresser against it when they’d moved in, and never gotten it fixed. Maybe she’d do it later.

“Do you need anything?”

Lily felt his hand tentatively touch her on the shoulder, but it quickly dropped to the bed when she flinched at the contact. Normally his touch burned her, but now it only added to the icy cold of her veins. Her body ached, her arms covering the worst of it, as if bracing her stomach could make the pain better. She felt the tension grip her body impossibly tighter. She hadn’t felt able to move for hours. Actually, it was probably days by now.

“I’m right here if you need me. I love you, Lily.”

Lily, not Potter. Not Evans. He’d never quite adapted to her new last name. It never quite rolled off his tongue like Evans did. Evans when he was mad. Evans when he was joking and laughing with her. Evans when he needed her quickly and forgot they’d had a wedding in the middle of a war. She was only Lily in the quiet moments. It made sense she was Lily now.

After what felt like forever, he stood from the bed, quietly letting her know he was just going to be outside if she needed him. Needed anything. When she didn’t respond he moved slowly toward the door, leaving it slightly ajar behind him as he moved into the sitting room. He’d done it so he’d hear her if she called out, but inadvertently it meant she could hear his conversation with Sirius.

“How is she?”

“You’ve probably got a better idea than me, mate.”

“I’m so sorry, Prongs. I swear, I did everything I could,” Lily couldn’t think of a time she’d heard Sirius sound so desolate. So desperate.  

“It’s not your fault.”

“Of course, it is. You weren’t there. It was my job to protect her.”

“Don’t let her hear you say that.”

“You know what I mean. I was her partner.”

“It’s not like you’ve come away unscathed yourself, Pads.”

“Nothing compared to her.”

“You got her out. You got both of you out.”

“Barely.”

“Do you think it was a trap?” Lily could hear the question in his voice, the command. Ever the war strategist her husband. Ever the warrior.

“Had to be,” Sirius confirmed. “They knew we were coming. They knew where we’d be. When. They were ready for us.”

“And he was there? You faced him?”

“He was the one that did it,” Sirius’ voice was so low Lily had to strain to hear him. Not that she needed to hear to know what he was saying. She’d lived it, hadn’t she. Barely. But she had.

James was quiet for a long time. Lily didn’t know what he was thinking. She could guess what he was feeling. He’d faced what she’d faced today. Only weeks ago, in fact. He’d faced the same man and made it out alive. Even landed some blows, to hear Moody tell it. She hadn’t managed the same. And the cost was great, to them both.

He’d never been good about standing by while she went into action. He’d tried to go with her at the start. They’d done missions together, with the Marauders and without. In the beginning, he’d been fine. Razor-sharp focus, single minded in his determination, fixated on the mission goal.

And then she’d been hit by the cruciatus curse.

Right in front of him.

After that, they couldn’t be assigned together. He watched her back more than he watched his own. Took risks. Took chances. Tried to take the hits for her. It made him a liability. Put others in harms way. Threw whole missions off. It didn’t matter how loud or how often Lily had raged at him. It didn’t matter how she proved herself on every mission, with or without him. He could not physically stand by and let her fight without trying to protect her.

It was hard to be mad at someone who loved you that much.

So, for months now she’d worked with others. Remus, Kingsley, Marlene. Various members of the Order. But she fit best with Sirius. He knew her well. She knew him. They could trade thoughts without a look. Their styles complimented each other. They’d been in several situations they shouldn’t have escaped from but had.

Most importantly, James didn’t worry so much if she was with Sirius.

“Prongs, James,” Sirius might have crying. Lily wasn’t sure. His voice was thick and husky. His breath drew in harshly. “I am so sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Neither did I,” James’ voice was harsh for a second, before it relented. “But I don’t think she did either. She would have told me.”

“She didn’t,” Sirius confirmed quickly. “When she realised what the torture had done, what was happening, she was too shocked. She had no idea until it was too late. I wish I-“

“You couldn’t have done anything Pads,” James tried to reassure him. “If you could have, you would have. I know that.”

“I really would have,” Sirius choked. “I’d do anything for that girl. For you.”

“I know mate.”

The boys fell silent. The crackle of the fire was the only sound in the house.

Lily continued to stare at the wall.