Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

December 17th  

Bakugou hated Christmas. The joyfulness, the offensively colorful decorations, carolers on every corner, people on frenzied shopping sprees, having to listen to his mother on Christmas Eve bitching about, well, anything she could bitch about. Her repertoire was endless. 

So desperate times require desperate measures, and that's how the early evening found him hopping on the train to escape the snow. His shoes left muddy footprints on the white floor and the station was to the rim of people coming and going without much care for anything other than their own business. Some were finally going home after a probably busy workday, others had their hands full of bags that hid underneath the annoyingly cheerful wrapping paper. 

Yeah, Bakugou hated Christmas with a passion. 

He pushed through people without even asking permission, his elbows connecting here and there with the plush fabric of other people's coats. He didn't even look back, just barreled until he got to his destination. 

The city was full of fancy libraries, sure, the kind that blasted All I Want for Christmas is You on a loop until closing and had a Christmas tree taller than him on a corner, maybe even offering costumers some hot cocoa. He wouldn’t be found dead in a place like that. So he always went to the same store. 

You could say it was cozy, but Bakugou visited it because it was quiet. Not any crowds, nor many people at all. This late, probably just him and the seller, some lanky dude that tried to do some small talk when he noticed him as a regular until just one curt "fuck off". After that, the guy just shrugged and left him to his own devices. 

The library was quiet, shelves from floor to ceiling, stacked full with dusty hardcovers. Just what he needed after the nightmare scenario full of glitter and tacky headbands he had encountered just as soon as he stepped out of the subway station. Bakugou yanked the metal stair along and the dust particles danced around him, making him sneeze. The seller let out a small chuckle but when Bakugou glared at him he just put his hands in the air with a toothy smile. The blond scoffed before continuing with his momentum, or at least he tried because something else caught his eye. 

In between two hardcovers a small red tome winked at him, looking velvety with golden accents. It was pushed in an impossibly tight spot, and judging by the dust patterns around it, not for long. 

The stairs forgotten behind him, he yanked it out with curiosity, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. 

Soon it was obvious it wasn't a book, but a notebook. Soft matte paper, with an elastic on the side to hold the page. In some lazy handwriting, bold capital letters read the title. 

“Do you dare?” Bakugou felt the handwriting with a finger, whispering to himself before scoffing “Fucking 'course.”

The notebook had a few tore out pages, but the first one, marked up with the red elastic, said loud and clear: 

I left some clues for you. If you want them, turn the page. If you don’t, put the book back on the shelf. 

Bakugou scoffed loudly before turning the page with more force than necessary. 

So, you’ve chosen to play. That’s revealing in itself. So we begin.

On the next page, there were seven blank spaces underlined, a coded message. 

“Oh” Bakugou startled before narrowing his eyes to look at his unwanted companion. The seller was looking over his shoulder, reading the message as well before Bakugou closed it with a loud noise.

The guy jumped before straightening and left to his post behind the counter in a rush, while Bakugou’s footsteps disturbed more dust into the air. 

“The fuck is this, plain face,” he asked, waving the notebook around. 

“I have a name tag, dude” he yanked his t-shirt with the little nameplate that read Sero Hanta but Bakugou ignored it without a thought. 

“Tell me who did this” he let the notebook drop on the counter with a thud.

“I can’t tell you that. If you don’t wanna play I’ll leave it back” he moved to grab it but Bakugou’s reflexes were quicker and he snatched it back. 

Without another word, he retreated to a corner of the bookstore where he was hidden from the door.

In the next pages, there were a series of clues that he had to decipher to find a book and get access to the word so he could know what this weird stranger had intended to say. 

The evening was quiet and the store didn’t have much clientele, so Sero was on his tail, reading over his shoulder and suggesting titles or reading the words aloud. Bakugou was very close to kicking his ass when the doorbell chirmed signalizing someone and the seller disappeared to the front of the store again. 

He heard muffled voices but didn’t pay them mind, chuckling on the stranger’s embarrassing puns and going on their treasure hunt of sorts. 

Bakugou was deep in thought, his nose inside a book searching for his clue when someone behind his back cleared his throat. 

“The fuck do you want now, plain face?” he asked without taking out of sight the words, not even turning around. 

“Dang, Baku, and here I thought we were still friends,” a feminine voice said, and he turned around so fast it gave him whiplash. 

In front of him, there was a gorgeous blonde, her makeup done to perfection, and her bare legs peeking out from her long coat, even in winter. 

“What are you doing here, in a bookstore of all fucking places?” he said, his eyebrows shooting up. 

“Searching for a gift, and you talked about this place so much that I thought I might as well visit,” she said, taking her long blonde strands of hair out of her face with a swift shoulder motion and looking around rather in disgust. She was too polished for that place, looking out of place. 

“Fuck off, Camie,” he said, making a point to go back to reading, even if he wasn’t anymore. 

“Look, baby,” she said, sighing dramatically like it was all taking a toll on her “I’m not trying to be a bitch here. You should come to my Christmas party” 

“I rather choke” 

He rather felt her rolling her eyes than saw her, but she just tapped the book in her hand slightly against his shoulder. He looked at her with narrowed eyes. 

“Shouto is gonna be there” she sang before waving her long fingers goodbye and he was alone again, in a dark corner of a bookstore trying to pick up clues from a stranger that might as well be a psychopath murderer looking for a new victim. What the hell. 

He threw the notebook on the counter for Sero to catch, before bracing himself to the winter cold in full swing outside. 

He was already two blocks away when the coded message came back to his mind. 

Are you gonna be lonely on Christmas? 

“Fucking hell” Bakugou grumbled to himself before undoing his steps and finding himself back at the bookstore doors. 

“For the last time, I can’t tell you anything about him,” Sero said, his hands in the air in surrender but an amused smirk on his lips.

“You will unless you want me to set your store on fire” Bakugou yanked him from the front of his t-shirt but to no use, the other guy just shrugged before smiling at him again. 

“I guess you’ll have to keep playing to find out, man” 

He let go of his shirt with a grumble and left the store with heavy footsteps, not before sending him the middle finger. 

Bakugou took quick steps, the notebook safely tucked under his winter coat to protect it from the snow. In almost record time he was in his best friend's small coffee shop, shoved in between two tall buildings somehow resembling how he found the red notebook. 

A bell on the door announced him cheerfully and a pink puff of hair emerged from under the counter. 

“You took your sweet time getting here!” Ashido said in a high pitched scream, startling the customers and making Bakugou wince. 

“I had more important shit to do than entertain your ass while you work,” he said sitting down in the bar while taking off his coat and leaving it to his side.

“You don't have anything to do on your holiday vacation, that's why you come here every day,” she said while pouring his usual coffee order and setting it in front of him “What's that?” 

Bakugou cursed under his breath. Even when he had made sure the notebook was well hidden under the faux fur of his coat, Ashido's eye was like a hawk. 

"Nothing of your goddamn business” he replied, nudging the not-so-subtle red under the fabric. 

Ashido just clicked her tongue before quickly snatching it from under his nose and moving to a prudential distance from the counter. 

“Give it back or I'll end you,” said Bakugou, nearly toppling over his chair in his haste to get up. 

“Do you have a diary now, honey?” 

“No! What the fuck am I, fifteen years old you?” 

“Then you won’t mind if I check it out” 

“I'll kill you” 

“God, Baku, don't climb on the counter!” Ashido put the notebook on the shining surface before resting her forearms on it “So dramatic” 

“Nosy bitch” he grabbed it before swiping invisible dust particles off its cover. 

“You say as it is a surprise” she grinned before serving him a muffin, knowing that he wouldn't eat because it was too sweet, but would charge him anyways for it even when she was the owner and would shove it down her throat. 

“Just found it in the bookstore. Some weirdo left some clues to decipher some bullshit message” 

“And you are the weirdo who can't back up from a challenge. May I?” she extended her hand and this time Bakugou gave it to her after rolling his eyes pointedly and ignored him while she inspected it. 

“You are not gonna answer, right?” she said matter of factly but Bakugou gave no response. “Bakugou, you said so yourself, this is from a weirdo, it could be dangerous” 

“I could take him out if I wanted to,” he shrugged. She just glared at him “He reads all these romantic young adult novels, I wouldn’t put my money on a big muscular guy” 

“You are an ass. I'm charging you double for the muffin” 

Bakugou arrived home rather late at night, after helping Ashido close down the shop and seeing her take the subway safely. 

He was received by an empty apartment, no lights on and dark curtains drawn, not allowing even the light of the city to come in. He flicked the lights on and not even bothered to announce his arrival home. 

Slowly he peeled off his clothes to take a shower, shivering from the cold in his house. It usually felt like it was always too cold. 

He sat down on the island, eating some leftovers from lunch while looking around his place. It was neat and well put together, not a thing out of its place. He didn't even bother to put up decorations or some twinkling lights. It was the same minimalistic, black and white apartment as ever. 

He is okay with it as it is, but some nights are harder. He doesn't miss Shoto per se, it's not like they were in love. That's precisely why he was dumped on Christmas Eve the year before. But Bakugou appreciated the company sometimes, at least when it was someone as quiet as Shoto. Someone who could camouflage themselves into his apartment and life without taking so much room. 

That said a lot, too, since Shoto had mentioned that day his inability to commit and change for his significant other. To get out of his comfort zone. 

The silence was baffling, so before he could change his mind he grabbed the notebook and a spare pen he had on one of the kitchen drawers and wrote. 

Taking from your funny little challenge (which was easily mastered by me) I think you and I must think alike. 

Christmas fucking sucks. 

His excuse to leave so early in the morning in the middle of his most despised season was to grab breakfast with Ashido. Definitely not the detour he had planned as he shook the snowflakes from his shoulders as they were starting to melt into his clothes while he entered the warm bookstore. 

“Well, hello, you came back soon, something caught your eye?” Sero leaned against the counter with a knowing grin. Bakugou just flipped him off before forcing the red notebook back in the place where he found it the day before, this time with a challenge of his own. 

“Dammit, Ashido, you had one fucking job,” said Bakugou, a hand running over his hair. 

“I know that I had to catch him while he came to deliver the notebook. But he came in rush hour so I missed him. He left it under the tip jar.” 

“You suck,” he said, taking the notebook from her hand with a little more force than necessary but she only grinned. 

“You are in for a treat with that one,” she said happily. 

“You nosy bastard read it?” he demanded but she just shrugged. 

I see you are planning sneaky ploys to get information. But cheaters are on the naughty list, so you'll have to work for my name. 

He felt the corner of his mouth twitch upwards involuntary, gaining him a perfectly done eyebrow being lifted by Ashido. He scowled at her before going back. 

And you will work hard, my dude. 

“Are you sure about this, honey?” Ashido said standing outside the biggest mall in the city. She was shivering under her coat.

“I don't half-ass anything,” said Bakugou, before looking at her with a feral grin. This time it earned him both eyebrows jumping to her hairline. 

“This is gonna end badly” she whispered to herself before following Bakugou already midway to the entrance. 

The twinkling lights winked at her as she waited by the door, rubbing her gloved hands together to gain some warmth. 

Not even five minutes had passed when a lightning speed puff of blond hair crossed the glass doors, startling her. A hand shoot out and grabbed her by the arm, urging her body to move. 

“Fuck, Mina, run!” Bakugou shouted and looked back at her. He was smiling, savage, and free, with no regard for anyone on the sidewalk as he dragged her through the streets. 

Ashido dared look behind them and saw two securities from the mall, quickly left behind. 

Bakugou turned on the corner and jumped into the subway station in one swift motion, Ashido almost tripping and only keeping her balance because he was still grabbing her arm. 

The station was packed, the same landscape from previous days. But tonight Bakugou didn't seem to mind. He walked to the nearest wall and rested his back on it and she followed suit. 

“Fuck” she said, and Bakugou let out a laugh. A wild one, full of his personality, a loud and ugly laugh. 

“Fuck indeed” he was still smiling when he showed her his tight grip on the Santa Clause hat. 

“You actually got it” 

“Fucking course, who the fuck do you think I am” Bakugou dug into the soft velvety fabric until he found a very familiar piece of paper, it's borders ripped. 

In neat red ink, it read Eijirou. 

December 17th 

Kirishima was running, stumbling occasionally with an unaware passerby but he was always polite and excused himself. 

One of his new years’ resolutions was to arrive on time, but since it wasn't the next year yet, he was running late. 

So he didn't see the blond guy until he was quite literally colliding with him, the decorations he had on his bags spilling into his coat covering him in red glitter. 

“I'm so sorry, dude,” he said, reaching out to help him clean up but the guy shoved his hand away so instead he straightened his antlers headband. 

“What the fuck, you shitty haired asshole!” the guy roared and Kirishima was not about to have that. 

“Excuse you, man, such a pity that a cute guy like you is so rude” he blurted out before continuing his way, not looking back but feeling a set of intense red eyes on him. 

Chapter Text

To Kaminari, Kirishima had always been obsessed with Christmas and its overall frenzy. To Kirishima, he just had a normal holiday spirit, thank you very much. 

But yeah, it held a special place in his heart. His parents met on Christmas, as well as his grandparents. He wasn't usually a sap, contrary to popular belief, but something around the holidays filled his spirit with hope and longing for someone to share his days with. He was not lonely, not at all. He had his family even though they lived back home so he didn't see them as often as he would like. And he had friends, specially Kaminari who was also his roommate, and his boyfriend Shinsou that didn't live with them but might as well with the amount of time he spent in their place. 

So he was fine. Great, a matter of fact. But would anyone blame him if he admitted to feeling lonely around December? Couples filled the streets in their sweet bubble and the decorations everywhere were asking for people to hold hands underneath them. 

He usually came back home to spend the holidays with his parents, but this time they went ahead and booked a trip for just the two of them. His brother had told him as well that he had plans so he shouldn't bother to go back. 

“I think is rude for me, your bromate, to have to listen to your whining about how lonely you are when I am right here,” Kaminari said, while he plopped down on the couch and forced him to move his legs. 

“I'm not whining, just saying. And you spend so much time sucking face with Shinsou that I don't even remember how you look like anymore” 

Shinsou made a face on the chair where he was reading while Kaminari sighed dramatically. 

“You need to get laid, dude,” he said patting his shoulder while Kirishima moved to a sitting position. 

“I never needed a love story because I always had Christmas,” Kirishima said while tying his hair up in a ponytail. It was getting long, maybe he should cut it. 

“Who said anything about love, I said laid ” Kaminari protested but Kirishima paid him no mind while he threw his hands in the air. 

“It's just that everyone seems to have someone except me. I didn't mind before because I was spending time with my family, but now… ” he left the rest hanging in the air and Kaminari clicked his tongue. 

“Then get yourself out there and snatch a date. I'm sure you'd get one in no time with those puppy dog eyes and luscious locks” Kaminari batted his eyes and flicked his hair exaggeratedly. 

“Shut up, I don’t have those” Kirishima punched him in the shoulder while the blond rolled to the floor feigning being wound. 

“I think Kaminari is right, you should find a date,” said Shinsou closing his book “Maybe you would stop pestering us for a while” 

Kirishima narrowed his eyes and the moment extended for a few more seconds. 

“I find amazing how you can keep that poker face while joking around,” he said before narrowing his eyes even more “He's joking, right?” 

Kaminari made a noncommittal sound from the floor, where he was looking at his phone. 

“Maybe you could try to meet someone in a place you like so you'd have something in common” suggested Shinsou before softly kicking his boyfriend in the ribs 

“Or!” Kaminari promptly sat up and threw his phone in the air “You can make it fun! Since it's Christmas and all, make it special. something you can tell your grandkids!” 

Kirishima made a face. Every time Kaminari came up with a story worthy of telling usually involved him in various states of undignified embarrassment. 

“I don't know, Denks… Maybe I'll just spend it here, I can drink hot cocoa and watch Home Alone” 

“No friend of mine is spending some shitty holiday. Listen to my genius plan” 

“Oh, fuck, there's no going back now” Shinsou sighed before getting up “Does anyone wants some tea? I feel this conversation is going to need some tea” and disappeared inside the kitchen. 

Already possessed by all three Christmas spirits, Kaminari jumped on his feet and opened every drawer on their TV stand, messing up the carefully placed junk. With a triumphant shout, he recovered a red notebook, swede like skin, vibrant and eye-catching. Kirishima's eyes were wide open. 

“This, my friendo, is what you are going to do” 

“I don't know, man. Sounds corny as shit” Kirishima opened up the notebook and looked into the blank pages as it held the secrets of the universe. 

“Of course it does, what kind of rom-com do you think this is?” he rolled his eyes when Kirishima still looked unconvinced “Look, just pick some books you like and we can work on what to write together” 

“Fine. but only because you'll shut up, and it won't work” 

“Bold of you to assume that will make him shut up” 

But Kaminari wasn’t deterred by his companions’ lack of faith. 

“Let's get to work,” he said clapping his hands happily. 

Kirishima wasn't satisfied with the state of his living room until it looked like he stole Christmas from the Whos like the Grinch. 

“Don't you think you went just a little overboard?” asked Kaminari from his place on the couch laying in Shinsou’s lap while eating popcorn. 

“of course not, this is a completely normal amount of decorating” 

“I will be taking off glitter from my coat until easter,” Shinsou said while catching the popcorn Kaminari threw in the air with a hand and popping it in his mouth. 

“That's reasonable” suddenly the hottest pop song of the season played loudly interrupting Kirishima's speech. He checked his phone and gasped before picking up the call “Do you have news?” 

“Well, hello to you too, sir,” Sero said as the line crackled. 

“Is Sero? Put him on speaker!” Kaminari tripped over on his run to be closer to the phone. 

“Sero, sorry, hi, you are on speaker,” Kirishima said, “So, anything exciting?” 

“Exciting indeed. Some guy took your book thingy” 

“What? already? Damn, Kiri, you got moves” Kaminari shoved an elbow on his ribs and Kirishima pushed him away.

“Shut up, you wrote most of it. Now, Sero, tell me everything. No, wait, do I wanna know? No, I don't. Or yes. Just tell me how he was” 

“Well, he is snarly.”

“Snarly?” Kaminari and Kirishima exchanged confused looks. 

“Yeah. I'm pretty sure he growled at me.”

“Kinky”

“Shut up Kaminari, oh my god. He was annoyingly pedantic too. a whole meal, Kirishima, you won the lottery” 

Kaminari snorted and Kirishima punched him in the gut, gaining a little chuckle from Shinsou. 

“Anyway, he left something for you. You should come and check for yourself” 

Kaminari let out an undignified yelp when Kirishima busted into his room without knocking. The redhead completely ignores the fact that his friend and his boyfriend were in various states of undress while laying in the bed. 

Shinsou only sighed before getting up and snatching his shirt from the floor.

“I’ll make some tea,” he said and left the room.

“Dude, I thought you were gonna take a while. Also, maybe knock next time?” Kaminari said covering himself with his sheets, but Kirishima paid him no mind.

“This was your worst idea so far, Kami, you’ve outdone yourself,” he said while walking in circles.

“That’s some serious accusations considering we are talking about me. What’s up?”

Kirishima came to a stop and looked at him while exhaling loudly through his nose. Then opened the red notebook and read.

“Christmas fucking sucks. It’s the worst time of the year. I hate the fake joyful spirit and having to see people that you normally wouldn’t want to see even dead just because it’s the holidays. I hate having to dodge assholes full of glitter and carolers on my way out the subway. What kind of grown-ass adult can really enjoy it?” he closed the book with a thud and glared at Kaminari.

“Okay, so the guy’s an asshole. Why are you looking at me like it’s my fault?”

“Because it is! Shinsou and you convinced me to do this and of course, the guy who picked the book up is someone who hates Christmas” 

“Please, leave me out of this for christ’s sake,” said Shinsou entering the room with a tray and three teacups. Kirishima only furrowed his eyebrows.

“Stop whining,” Kaminari picked a cup and took a sip “Just rip those pages out and start over. Surely someone who doesn’t sound like a dick will pick it up”.

Kirishima thought of it for a second before storming off to his own room, ignoring Kaminari’s calls. 

He read the message again, but this time he reached the end before wanting to throw the book across the room. 

If you understand whatever the fuck I mean, turn the page.

He did after breathing deep, and a pamphlet fell on the floor. It was from a coffee shop, not too far from the bookstore, but he never heard of it.

Go to this location and leave the notebook with the annoying pink chick managing the counter. 

“Just one more chance, mystery boy,” he said, before grabbing his coat and leaving the apartment. 

He was shivering by the time he got to the coffee shop, and the warmth and sugary coffee smell made his stomach growl. But he couldn’t take the risk of ordering something if he didn’t want to be discovered. 

There was a small line of people waiting for their orders to be taken by a girl with vibrant pink hair. So that was what notebook boy meant. 

He was looking around for a place to deliver his package without drawing attention when he locked eyes with her. He tried to look innocent but she immediately gasped.

“You are the notebook guy!” she said enthusiastically “Please, don’t leave!” 

Kirishima tried anyway, feeling panic climb up his throat, but the girl grabbed him by the shoulder before he could reach the door. 

“Please, stay? Let me take these orders and we can talk for a sec. Coffees on the house” she saw Kirishima was doubting “It’s really cold outside” she said with a singsong tone.

So he found himself sitting on a booth next to the window, watching people pass by until the girl joined him with two cups of coffee. He took a sip and sighed contently, chocolate and sugar bursting in his mouth.

“I’m Ashido. Your Romeo’s squire and partner in crime” she said, warming her hands on her cup and a million bolts grin.

“So. You are his spy” he replied, taking another sip. 

“Yes. We had to make sure you aren’t some psycho” her smile only grew bigger, mischievous. Kirishima snorted amused.

“And what’s the verdict?”

“That you are a big softie. But that was probably obvious reading that” she pointed at the notebook sitting between them on the table. 

Kirishima looked at it as well.

“You can’t tell him you met me,” he said.

“What? Why not? Don’t you wanna meet him?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I guess. But I rather just keep doing it with this” he tapped the cover with two fingers and let them linger there for a second.

“I understand”

The silence stretched between them while they both sipped from their drinks. A couple on another table got up and left the shop saying goodbye and grabbing hands. Kirishima looked at them bracing the winter through the window.

“What’s your friend like?” he asked.

“That would be a long answer. Maybe you should ask him” 

“Is he… snarly?”

Ashido choked on her drink.

“I would say he is… finicky.” she said when she recovered “I’m gonna be honest with you, honey. He isn’t an easy person to be around sometimes. He’s loyal and I’m sure he would kill for the people he loves, but that’s the thing. His walls are so high, he doesn’t love very often. I love him, but he is a gremlin.” Kirishima laughed and she chuckled as well “He is a good guy, trust me” 

“Can I really trust you?” 

Ashido looked at him in the eye.

“You came in rush hour, so I never even saw you and your bomb hair. I’ll say you just left the book here and I missed you coming in” 

“Would you do that for me?”

“Yeah. For him, too.”

“Holy shit, Bakugou, you are actually smiling. And laughing !” Ashido said, looking at the blond like he had grown another head. 

“I smile all the fucking time, shut up,” he said, changing his expression to his usual grumpy one, but his tone lacked bite. Ashido grinned.

“You fought Santa for this guy’s name. So romantic” she teased, looking over his shoulder to read the small piece of paper “I have to buy something for Ei-chan since he actually made you smile. It’s a Christmas miracle!”

“Don’t be fucking cringe. Let’s go home already” 

“Kirishima, dude! Hey!” Tetsutetsu waved at him when he entered the mall. His security unform was wrinkly and his tie was undone. He had tied his silver hair on a ponytail, which Kirishima only saw him do when they were working out.

“Hey! Did he come?” he asked excitedly. 

“Oh, boy, he did. He would be banned if we had caught him” he said, lending him the notebook like he didn’t want to have it with him anymore.

“What did he do?” Kirishima tried to be annoyed or at least concerned, he really did. But he was finding out more and more difficult to be bothered but the guy’s rude demeanor.

“He cut the line, snatched the hat right outta Santa’s head, threw the book at him and then gave us a run for our money while laughing like a lunatic”

“Oh, god, that sounds awful” they stood there for a second before bursting into laughter, Kirishima doubling over and Tetsutetsu supporting his weight on his shoulder. 

“Don’t laugh, Kiri! Some kids were crying!” he said when they calmed down, which sent them on another laughing fit. “It was really fun, though. It’s usually boring over here, so thanks.”

Kirishima stayed a few more minutes more to catch up with his friend before running to the subway. He couldn’t help himself but smile, just imagining his friend running through the streets after some guy who stole Santa’s hat.

He barely greeted Kaminari and Shinsou having dinner in the living room before locking himself up in his room. He threw himself on top of the duvet and smiled at the ceiling. Then he opened the book and read.

Fine, dumbass, you win. I won’t try any other “sneaky ploys”, but we need a set of rules. Personal questions have to be earned with a dare. And since I killed your dare, tell me, Eijirou, what do you want for Christmas?

Kirishima sighed and then he felt like beating himself up for smiling like an idiot in love. But, since he was alone in his room, he indulged in the feeling like a teen in love and closed the book placing it on his chest. It was late already and his eyes were feeling heavy. 

This time around, Bakugou didn’t felt as bothered with his lonely home. He turned on every light and even the TV, some cheesy holiday movie playing so it would serve as background noise. He plopped on his bed, the hat still secured in his tight grip. He took off the piece of paper again, reading it over and over, and even ran his fingers through the characters like he could learn something new about its author just from touch. After a few minutes, he let the music playing on the TV to lull him to sleep.

Chapter Text

What do I want for Christmas? I wanna get to know you, Notebook Boy. I want you to take me on a trip, of sorts. But take me somewhere special. To a place that feels like you. To the place where you feel more like yourself. 

Kirishima braced himself against the cold morning. Or rather night, since the sun hadn’t come up yet. He wrapped himself even more in his winter coat, and rubbed his nose with a gloved hand, afraid it would fall out because of frostbite. But even if he was up before sunrise during his days off from work, and melted snow was threatening to make him fall on his ass, he was happy. Giddy, even, from excitement. 

The huge building was before him, and heat crawled to his ears as he smiled. With its high ceilings and its hundred windows that let the warm light out. Kirishima entered the Tokyo Station with his red notebook in hand before even the first train arrived. The place was deserted, workers probably chugging some coffee down before the early birds arrived. He stood right before the screens that announced departures, the vaulted ceiling above him, Christmas lights shining cheerfully to a tune he knew by heart. 

Kirishima opened the book and read it again, even if he could probably recite it already. 

This city wishes it had a place that felt like me. But there’s a time that it can come pretty close to as fucking awesome I am. But for that, you have to rise and fucking shine early. To be in the presence of something that resembles how amazing I am, you have to be at Tokyo Station before the first train even arrives. in Those moments when there’s only stillness, even in this city, its heart but devoid of people. What do you see then, Eijirou?

Kirishima looked around. The high ceilings, the lights shining just for him, the ticket offices still closed, the windows letting the sky be seen still dark and stained with snow. He looked at the floor, pristine, untouched. He looked at the screens that no one had bothered to turn on yet. He noticed how cold and immense the place was. How lonely, but full of the potential that daylight would bring. 

“Hello!” he shouted, at the ceiling, at the bugs that lived there, maybe at the station workers probably getting ready for the day. But also to the void that he felt his notebook boy was, hopefully soon to be filled to the brim. 

He let a smile stretch his lips while he sat down on an uncomfortable chair and rummaged through his pockets until he found a pen. He uncapped it with his teeth and started scratching the paper.  

Bakugou shoved people around with his elbows to take them out of his way. He had avoided rush hour but the station was full of people anyway. He looked through the ticket offices, wondering which one he should approach, but the answer was obvious. There was just one that was decorated, and the perpetrator was behind the counter wearing a Santa hat. 

He sighed before getting close and grumbled a “hi” between his teeth.

“Ah, you must be looking for this” the ticket seller was a girl around his age, her short brown hair almost covered but the giant hat, her cheeks rosy from the heater behind her. She handed him the red notebook. 

Bakugou must have looked at her funny somehow because she giggled. 

“The guy told me that you probably looked grumpy,” she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and then called the next customer. Bakugou left shaking his head, confused.

He sat on one of his favorite places, rather far from the fuzz of people, and checked the new message.

“For fuck’s sake,” he said, softly hitting his forehead with the book. 

“What are we doing here?” Ashido said, hands deep in her pockets while they looked at a guy standing in the middle of a park. He was covered in silver painting and standing perfectly still. A human statue. 

Bakugou shoved the notebook in her chest. 

“Read it,” he said, without looking away from the performer. 

“‘Since you appreciate stillness, I know a guy that could teach you a thing or two. Our game can continue only if you are as great as you say and last doing what he does for ten minutes. Then leave the notebook with your next dare, but make it count this time. And make sure to tell me your name this time around, too, since it’s only fair’ Oh, Baku, it looks like you found your match!” 

“I’ll end him when I found him,” he said through gritted teeth.

“You can just bolt, you know?” she said. 

“Are you insane? He challenged me” Bakugou cracked his knuckles before stepping beside the statue and copying his pose. 

“I think you are the insane one, but suit yourself,” said Ashido before taking her phone out of her front pocket and snapping pictures before Bakugou could tackle her to delete them. 

“Hey, Aoyama” Kirishima said, before picking up the notebook from his little donation box and smiling at him. The guy winked at him before he walked away waving. 

If this is a game, you won’t win. And since all is fair in war, I won’t tell you my name until you deserve it. So, loser, your little challenge only made my appetite grow, and now we’ll see what are you made of. Follow the little map and order a serving of their special curry. The only place you can find a better one is in my kitchen.

Kirishima smiled at the letter and followed the instructions. Not far he found a little street cart manned by a bored-looking guy with black hair tied in a ponytail and a three-day beard that looked funny at him when he asked for the special curry. He sat at one of the plastic tables with his little bowl and tried to imagine his guy doing the same thing without much success since he knew nothing about him.

The curry was steaming hot and his stomach growled while he grabbed his chopsticks and shoved it in his mouth. 

It was like a bomb exploded on his tongue. He could handle spicey, but this guy was insane. The only flavor he could taste was spice, probably his tastebuds permanently damaged. 

The vendor was at his side, to his saving grace, and poured a glass of milk for him before patting his back. 

But Kirishima was no loser, contrary to what the notebook guy wanted to believe, so he finished the whole meal through his watery eyes and sips of milk. When he was done, he felt like his lips would fall off, but he managed to smile while he wrote his response anyway before leaving it with the vendor. 

Bakugou sat down in a small coffee shop, knowing that if Ashido found out she would ban him from hers for a year. He opened the notebook to check again his instructions.

It seems like you enjoy not having tastebuds if you eat this curry regularly. And since I don’t know your name -even though I completed all your challenges, thank you very much- and I don’t want to keep calling you notebook guy, I’ll give you a nickname. I like Dynamite. It reminds me of that death curry I just had. I am more of a sweet treats guy myself, so you’ll have to visit my favorite coffee shop and order a Christmas cookies plate. The jumbo one. And eat it whole. Now tell me about the best Christmas you had. I know even you had a good one, at least. 

Bakugou didn’t like sweets that much, but he could manage a few cookies. Even if it was a mountain of them and Eijirou seemed to eat like a whole family by himself. 

He gave it thought while he munched on a chocolate chip cookie. At least the guy had some taste and it was a good cookie and not some garbage. He would love Ashido’s muffins for sure, but he was getting ahead of himself. 

So he wrote. 

When Kirishima entered the shop, he was greeted by the waitress. He went directly to his favorite table and she was right by his side, her orange hair tied in a braid that climbed on her shoulder and slid the book through the table. 

“I’ll get your usual,” she said.

“Thanks, Kendo. How’s Tetsu? He recovered already from the runaway from the mall?” 

“Oh, no, that’s his new favorite story, so you owe me,” she said laughing before turning around and leaving him to his devices.  

Kirishima smiled at the rest of the waitresses that he usually caught looking at him when he was around and whispering to each other. He was kind of dumb sometimes, but he wasn’t completely oblivious and he was good with people so he noticed. He hoped none of them ever approached him, since he didn’t want to break the news that none of those girls were actually his type.

Apparently, his type was rude and snarly. And speaking of the devil, he grabbed the notebook to read his reply.

Your nickname is tacky as fuck, but I’ll take it. Just because I feel sorry for your loser ass. And do you call this a cookie? Dry as fuck. I’ll cook for you the best cookies you’ll have in your life, you’ll see. And, to answer your question. I won’t give you much information since it might reveal who I am, but there was one time I got to work with the person I admired the most, and he taught me everything he could. I was over the fucking moon because being mentored by the best meant I was the best too. But there was an accident, right after Christmas. It was my fault and he was forced to retire. So, not even then I really enjoyed it. But misery loves fucking company so tell me your worst Christmas. Even you must have one. 

Kirishima furrowed his eyebrows and barely had the mind to thank Kendo for his coffee and cookies. The tone on that message was very different from the usual bite but fun tone he was used from the other guy. 

He fished for a pen in his pocket and started writing, the scratchy sound and the coffee smell surrounding him. 

My dear friend Dynamite. I will hold you accountable for your cookie promise. And, for your question, here’s an answer: this one. my parents decided to take a trip for Christmas so they told me to not even bother coming back home like every year. So I was lonely enough that I let my roommate rope me into this insane challenge to meet a stranger because meeting someone the conventional way was “too boring”. Sounds familiar?

But, since you told me something personal, something that hurt, the truth, I owe you the same. So my real answer is the last year of middle school. It was the last day of school before winter break, and I was going back home, enjoying the lights and the snow you know. It was pretty dark already, and when I passed by an alley I saw a guy crowding a girl from my school and I thought “I must do something to help her”, but I couldn’t. I was too scared, my feet grew roots to the ground. I just stood there, watching, until luckily a policeman appeared. I was useless, and it haunted me, still does, but that was a dark holiday for me. 

People always say that I’m a ray of sunshine, outgoing and kind and sweet and uplifting, but honestly, that’s hardly how I see myself. I’m just some guy. After that, it took me a while but I tried to change to be a better person. Some days are harder than the other, anyway. Most of the time is hard for me to come out of my comfort zone, but apparently, unload childhood trauma to a stranger on a notebook is OK for me, but I hope I didn’t scare you off. If I didn’t, and I hope I didn’t, leave me your next dare by the Hachiko statue. That was one of my favorite places to go and think on long winter nights when no one was around. It still is. 

Bakugou, as most of those days it seemed, found himself sitting in front of Ashido with the counter between them while sipping coffee.

“So I wrote about how I would come back in time and rip that asshole’s head off so Eijirou wouldn’t feel like that now. I even included some graphics for a time machine that had some potential. But I don’t think I want him to know that kinda stuff about me yet.”

“You mean your dashing personality?” Ashido asked, swiping the muffin from its little plate while Bakugou flipped her off “I think it’s cute, you are so protective of your paper boyfriend.” 

“Fuck off, he’s not my boyfriend!” 

“But he kinda is! Baku, are you blushing ?!” she shrieked and dodged his hand trying to grab her by the apron when the doorbell jingled and cold air made its entrance with a short-haired girl, her eyes heavy with eyeliner and a guitar on her back, her hair freshly died purple since it still was vibrant.

“Hey, guys,” she said, without minding the fact that we’re very much in a physical fight, and took the seating beside Bakugou, shooking the snow from her beanie. 

Ashido set herself to make some coffee for their friend before eyeing the pile of pamphlets the girl left on the counter.

“Are you having a concert, Jirou?” she asked, depositing the hot mug behind her. 

“Yeah, tonight. Just a small thing, we found a cool venue. I came to see if I can leave some here”

“Of course!” Ashido meant to add more but Bakugou snatched the pamphlet she was holding and got up to get to the door.

“Are you coming, Bakugou?” Jirou asked, both girls looking at him with surprise.

“Fuck, no, you know I don’t do concerts” Bakugou left without even saying goodbye.

Kirishima found the notebook resting between Hachiko’s paws. The cover was damp but the interior was intact. He opened it but a piece of paper fell off, and he caught it before it touched the floor. It was advertising a punk show from a band he had never heard of. In the reverse, with a very familiar already handwriting, it read “You refuse to go down and that makes you stupidly strong. I know I can prove to you that you are actually brave”.

“Kaminari!” Kirishima shouted as soon as he arrived at their place, but he found him sitting on the kitchen counter checking his phone while drinking milk straight off the bottle. 

Disgusting, but he had more pressing matters.

“You need to help me make an excuse,” he said, showing him the pamphlet.

“I think you should go, dude. You love this kinda stuff” Kaminari said, checking the information on the piece of paper.

“Yeah, but this is different. What if I embarrass myself and then he realizes I’m just some dumb boring guy and not the one he thinks I am!” he said, before leaving the kitchen and walking around the living room, speaking loud enough for Kaminari to hear. 

“Stop pacing, you are gonna fall through the floor!” he said, waving the pamphlet around “Just go! You already did a lot of challenges, why is this one getting your pants in a bunch?” 

Kirishima stopped right on his tracks and looked at his best friend’s eyes.

“I think I’m starting to like him.” he whispered “I don’t wanna ruin it”

Kaminari clicked his tongue before walking to him and grabbing him by the shoulders.

“I don’t think there's one human walking on Earth that could dislike you, Kiri. Now let’s get you an outfit that doesn’t make you look like a clown” 

His closet was a wreck, looking like Hurricane Kaminari left no survivors. All his pants were on the floor and his T-shirts were a mess on the drawers. On top of his duvet the blond placed the skinniest jeans he could find in his wardrobe, a white basic t-shirt, and the star of the outfit, a red leather jacket. His favorite, the one he used almost all the time.

“I think I will get frostbite”

“You’ll endure it for the outfit”

“Why don’t you come with me, Kami, you love this kind of stuff”

“I do, but I’m not the one challenged,” he said before leaving his room so he could prepare for the night ahead.

This night is gonna be special, Eijirou. So put on your fucking best combat boots.

Kirishima arrived at a noncommittal place, there were some people outside smoking and drinking and that was the only reason he didn’t pass by it. The entrance was dark and led him to a set of stairs. The venue was a basement and it was full of people dancing and drinking, colorful lights shone in his eyes and some people pushed him to get by without even saying sorry, spilling some of their drinks on the floor. 

The sensations were overwhelming. He wasn’t used to a place like this alone, the lights and music and people were too much. His hands were damp and the floor stuck to his shoes every step of the way. He felt sweat running down his spine and something cold dripping down his throat. The bass tumbled in his ears.

His breath was labored and he was starting to feel the anxiety in his chest. He located the bathroom just before his eyesight got spotty and cut through the line, whispering apologies that he was sure no one heard. 

Kirishima gripped the sink, hard, until his hands stopped shaking. Then he splashed some water on his face, trying to get his heartbeat at a normal speed. He hadn’t had one of those in so long, he almost had forgotten what it was like. He should go home, probably. He wasn’t meant to be there. 

He looked up to the mirror, it was full of inscriptions, graffiti, and stickers. An old plastic mug full of colorful sharpies sat beside the sink. Then a very familiar set of neat kanji grabbed his attention and he couldn’t help but smile, there in that filthy bathroom with a line full of drunk people waiting their turn, after an anxiety attack, he smiled. Full, toothy, and he meant it. 

Get back out there and be brave, Ei.

He grabbed a sharpie from the mug, making sure it was a red one, and replied underneath it. 

And then he got out and smiled at the girls waiting outside in line. He got closer to the stage, standing in the middle of it was a very punk-looking girl with a guitar and her band behind her. 

The bass was still deafening but this time it didn’t make him sick. The music was nice, some hard punk with melodic undertones that he was very into. He’d had to look them up later.

The music wrapped him, and soon he found himself in the middle of the crowd, dancing and sweaty bodies surrounding him. He let himself be enveloped by it, dancing in the middle of it, and before he could notice he was having an amazing time. 

Kirishima was unaware, but Jirou’s keyboardist got closer to her and nudged her shoulder during a bass solo.

“Look at that red guy in the center of the floor. He has a red notebook on the inside pocket of his jacket” 

“That’s our guy” she nodded. 

Kirishima was sweaty but this time with the nice kind, the kind of one from after a good exercise. He stepped out of the crowd taking off his jacket to get to the bar for something to drink. He held the notebook in his hand to avoid losing it when someone grabbed his arm.

“Kirishima?” 

And in front of him was a guy he never thought he’d see again. It was dark and there was a green light flashing on top of them, but he recognized him alright. He knew those light blue eyes and blond hair. 

“Oh, yeah, it’s you! Wasn’t sure with that hair!”

“Monoma?” he asked, still confused.

“Yeah! We haven’t seen each other since high school, right?”

When Kirishima didn’t answer, he flicked his eyes again to his hair.

“That color takes some bravery, huh?” he said, and to Kirishima, his smile looked sarcastic, mocking. 

He shook his hair and mumbled an apology, leaving before Monoma could say anything else. He climbed the stairs two steps at a time, but his momentum made him slide on the frozen sidewalk. He avoided landing on the floor but he lost grip on his jacket and it slid to the floor. He was undoing his hurried steps to grab it from the patch of dirty snow when he saw Monoma emerging from the stairs too. 

“Kirishima, wait!”

And Kirishima did exactly the opposite and bolted. He left the jacket there, soaking in a puddle, and climbed on the first taxi that magically stopped in front of him. 

He was a few blocks from home when he realized he still had an iron grip on the notebook. The notebook he was supposed to leave behind. 

I failed you, notebook boy. I wasn’t brave enough. And I forgot to leave the notebook behind, so how are you gonna find me now?

You aren’t. And maybe you shouldn’t. I’m just a coward, a loser. And this was fun, but clearly not for me. You are the most amazing guy I ever met, and I’m just… me. 

Chapter Text

Bakugou made a disgusted face while entering the venue, the floor was sticky and there were empty solo cups and cigarette butts all over it.

Maybe the place looked OK-ish at night with the whole club paraphernalia, but with light creeping in from the high ceiling windows, it looked sad.

Jirou and her band were scattered through the couches around the place. They looked dirty and Bakugou could not be paid enough to sit in one of them.

“Hey, ears” he kicked the couch where Jirou and Yaoyorozu were sleeping their hangover “Wake the fuck up and give me the notebook.”

“Go away, Bakugou” she said, turning her back to him and almost falling on the floor.

“You can die here for all I care, but give me the notebook” he repeated, this time shaking her shoulder.

“I don’t have it” she slurred the words but opened one eye.

“Then where the fuck it is?”

“Not here.”

“He didn't come.” He had wanted to ask, but it came out as a statement.

“He did come” Yaoyorozu got up, freeing herself from Jirou’s grip and trying to fix her hair “But he didn’t give it to us”

“Your guy has some sick moves, man” Jirou said, her eyes narrowed trying to keep out the light. “He was there on the spotlight with that red hair and red jacket, but then, he just disappeared. Puff” she clucked a little. “Like magic”

“He must have left it somewhere” Bakugou said, checking under the couch, but it was empty.

He moved around some tables, checked behind the bar and almost ran his hand through some suspicious spill under one of them.

His mind was running a hundred miles a minute, and he could only think that he had said too much, or too little even, with that dumb charade while telling his story. Maybe Eijirou didn’t like his lack of honesty, but if Bakugou told him the truth, that he was training under the greatest chef in the city, Toshinori Yagi, and because of his inexperience and inefficiency his restaurant almost caught on fire which resulted in Toshinori getting his hands burned and having to retire… Well, it would take just a quick Google search to know who he was. And, if he was honest with himself, he wasn’t sure if he wanted Eijirou to know that just yet.

He looked in the last place he had left, the bathroom, but it was empty except for the wreckage from the party.

He washed his hands, feeling them dirty from looking around, and then he looked at the mirror. There, right beside his own face, was his message. But it also had an answer, in a messy handwriting he had become fond of already.

But I’m scared.

He ran his fingers through the writing, barely touching it, afraid of smudging it.

“Fuck!”

Jirou bursted into the bathroom, her short hair still a mess.

“Did you find it?”

“I fucked up. I should never had dared him to this,” he said, pushing past beside her and to the exit.

“What?” Jirou followed him, grabbing her jacket on the way out “He was having fun!”

“No, he wasn’t! He was scared, I pushed too far! I pushed his story out of him, and then I forced him to do something he didn’t want to!”

“Bakugou, listen to me, he was having fun” Jirou insisted while they came out of the basement.

“I don’t even have that damned notebook to say something to him, or to-” something crunched under his feet as soon as he stepped on the sidewalk. A red leather jacket, abandoned on the floor. He picked it up to have a better look at it. It was damp and cold.

“That’s your guy’s jacket” Jirou said as Yaoyorozu emerged from the stairs as well.

“And what the fuck is it doing on the floor?”

“Maybe he left it as a clue! Does it have something on it?” Yaoyorozu asked.

Bakugou turned it around to check the pockets but he found nothing.

“Look, the tag. It’s sewed on by hand. Must be a one-of-a-kind jacket” Jirou said, before stopping a cab in which both girls hopped on.

Bakugou looked at it again. It read “Best Jeanist”.

“Did you already tried with the bookstore” Ashido asked, putting the jacket on her shoulders while sitting on Bakugou’s island.

“Yes. That fucker has free today and the owner won’t tell me any information about him. Motherfucker”

“Can we try the magical wonder that the internet is already?”

“That’s cheating. And take it off already. Are you sure he didn’t leave it at the coffee shop?”

“No, honey, nothing was there. Checked the videotapes and all”

The silence was only broken by Bakugou drumming his fingers against the counter.

Ashido was clearly losing her patience, so she took the jacket off and placed it on Bakugou’s shoulders, snapping a picture before he could even process it.

“What the fuck?”

“Listen, I’ll post it on twitter and ask my followers if anyone knows the owner. Luckily someone will”

“Fuck, no, told you already that’s against the rules!”

“Bakugou, he didn’t leave the notebook. Maybe he already quit the game. At least you could have a chance to apologize”

“Whoever said shit about apologizing” he grumbled, and snatched her phone from her hand “I’m just gonna look up that Best Jeanist bullshit. Here it is. ‘Best vintage thrift store in the city. One-of-a-kind pieces ‘.”

“Then that’s our next stop. Operation Cinderella begins!”

“Hurry up, and what’s with that name? Are you five?” Bakugou waited impatiently for her to put on her coat and then they left his place.

“Yes, I’m familiar with that jacket.” The guy manning the counter was odd, to say the least. He was wearing denim on denim and his blond hair was perfectly parted to the side, not even one strand out of place. He was wearing a surgical mask and looked at them suspiciously.

“Do you know who could have bought it?” Ashido asked, uncomfortable with the staring contest between the two men.

“Yes, I know who’s the owner” the man said, but didn’t give any more information.

After a second, Bakugou opened his mouth to reply. Ashido was familiar in Bakugou etiquette so she spoke first, before the disaster could go down.

“Listen, Mr… huh…” she looked around but he was not wearing any name tag “Mr. Jeanist. We just want to return the jacket to its owner. Do you have a phone number, or an address that we could look up to?” she gave him her most angelic smile, the one that she spent her teenage years bringing to perfection.

The man looked at her, surveying her, and extended one hand. She yanked the jacket from Bakugou’s grip and gave it to him to inspect. He looked closely at it.

“I can arrange the jacket be reunited with him” he said, before folding it with two swift motions and store it in out of sight.

“What the fuck?” Bakugou said, but Ashido stopped him once again.

“You’ll see, Mr. Jeanist, we wanted to return it ourselves.”

The guy got as close as he could with the counter in between them.

“Tell me why should I give the address to one of my regular clients to a pair of kids that are obviously in the look for trouble?”

Ashido gulped loudly, but Bakugou only rubbed one hand over his face. He looked tired.

“Look. The owner of this jacket, I care about him. He gets me in a way no one else ever has,” he said. Ashido’s jaw dropped to the floor “but I did something bad. We never actually met, so this is my only chance to apologize to him.”

The guy narrowed his eyes.

Bakugou rolled his eyes, but said through gritted teeth “Please.”

“Well. You should have said that from the beginning” The Jeanist guy said, looking through his data base on his computer to find the contact info.

They left the store with a ripped piece of paper with an address on it. It felt familiar to him, holding some paper that could qualify as trash, but it was so much more.

“Baku” Ashido grabbed his arm and forced him to a stop “Did you really meant what you said?”

“What? No, fucking course not. Just said that load of bullshit so that asshole would give me the address. Now hurry, we have to get to the station.”

“Kami, I need your help” Kirishima busted into his room to find him under his fluffiest comforter, tucked in with only a few strands of blond hair showing up.

“There's no one home” he said, voice thick with sleep.

“Please, I need you to go to this coffee shop and give the notebook to a girl called Ashido, she'll get it to notebook boy”

Kaminari emerged from the sheets, only one eye open.

“Why didn't you leave it in the club? Wasn't that the whole point of going?”

“Yeah, but something happened. I kinda bolted. That's why I need you to bring it there.”

Kaminari huffed annoyed and snatched the notebook from his hands, this time opening both eyes.

“`This has been fun, but I have a lot going on right now' What's this bullshit, Kirishima?”

“I don't think I can keep doing it, if I say goodbye now, he won't find out that I'm not as cool as he thinks” Kaminari looked at him like he had grew another head “Please. I don't really wanna got there and explain myself to anyone.”

“Sorry, but if you wanna quit so bad, do it yourself” he said, dropping the notebook back on his hands and bringing back the sheets to cover his head.

“Thanks for nothing, Kami” he said while dodging a pillow his friend threw at him before leaving his room.

“Do you want me to ring the bell and check on him first?” Ashido asked.

They were standing in front of the address the Best Jeanist guy gave them, the door decorated with Christmas ornaments.

“Fuck, no, I'll do it myself” Bakugou said, but didn't move.

“Okay” said Ashido, dragging the vowels “I'll let you get to it, then. See you later.”

And like that, Bakugou was alone in front of this stranger's house, looking at Ashido's pink coat flowing behind her.

“This is dumb,” he said before ringing the bell and putting his hands on his pockets so forcefully it almost ripped the seams.

But before him wasn't someone he would have imagined. He hadn’t imagined much about Eijirou, and even like that he was surprised.

“Oh, the jacket” the man said. He was large, tall as a building and broad, blond hair out of his face thanks to a thin hair band. He wasn't too much older than him. He smiled warmly before taking he jacket from his hands. “Thank you” he said as he closed the door.

“Wait!” Bakugou put his feel in the door frame. “Have you been to a punk concert last night?”

“Last night?” the man gave it thought “No, not last night. Maybe last Thursday but not last night.”

“Have you been writing to someone in a red notebook, then?” Bakugou asked, now more convinced that this person wasn't who he was looking for.

“Ah!” the guy said, opening the door wide and letting him in “Want some coffee or tea? Also care to tell me your name?”

“Tea is okay” he replied, taking off his shoes and following the man to his living room. “I'm Bakugou Katsuki.”

The guy gestured for him to sit and wait while he made some noise in the kitchen, finally coming back with two cups on a trail. There was steam coming out of them. Bakugou gripped his like it was a lifesaver.

“I'm Taishirou. That jacket you have there, it was a gift for someone. Care to tell me how you got it?”

“Uhm.” Bakugou said eloquently, but Taishirou's smile only grew bigger. encouraging. “Yeah, fuck it. This guy and I, Eijirou, have been exchanging messages throughout a notebook I found at a bookstore.”

He thought it was enough information, but Taishirou just sipped his tea waiting for him to continue.

“Fuck. We dare each other, but I think I went too far last night. I found the jacket but not the notebook.”

Finally, the guy nodded.

“I was his tutor while he was in college. He's like a little brother to me, so I must ask. Are you in love with him?”

“Who said anything about love?” he almost shouted, lips curling into a snarl.

“Then why are you here? Why should I help you find him if you are just wasting his time?” Taishirou said as he grabbed the cup from Bakugou's hand and placed it again on the trail, ready to take off.

“Fucking fine!” he replied annoyed “I did something that hurt him. I just want to know if he is okay. I don't know him. I don't know anything about him. I don't believe in bullshit like love at first sight, fate or soulmates. That's just for sad insecure fuckers.”

“Young man. You believed you could find a boy just with a jacket. It sent you back to me and you are asking something from me, but without giving me any reason to help you.”

“For fucks sake” Bakugou massaged his temples, a headache starting to creep in. What was it with people wanting big declarations from him all in the same day?

Taishirou's patience was running out, so he sighed and endured it. He was no coward after all.

“I care about him, okay? A whole fucking lot. I need to apologize because I don't wanna be forever the asshole that pushed him too far and never talked to him again.”

“Ah” a big warm smile stretched over Taishirou's face “That's more like it.”

The doorbell rang just as Kirishima was about to leave for Ashido's coffee shop. If he was lucky, he could leave the notebook unnoticed and bolt.

He opened the door, glad for the distraction, and a big silhouette in a yellow hoodie smiled at him from above.

“Fat! What are you doing here?”

“Hey, Eiji. Just running some errands. Can I come in?”

“Sure. Want something to drink?”

“I already had tea, but can't say no to something extra, can I?” his laugh boomed through the apartment as Kirishima chuckled, feeling his spirits up again.

“How are you?”

“Honestly I've been feeling a little blue” he said as the coffee pot spurred noises.

“That's because you lost your lucky jacket.”

“Wh-”

“Some nice young man tracked it to me. He came to see me just now.”

Kirishima's jaw dropped to the floor.

“Pretty impressive. Seemed like he cares.”

“He cares for the image he has in his head, not for me. He couldn't care about me. It was a disaster. I really blew it” his eyes dropped to the floor and Taishirou put a hand on his shoulder.

“If you are so sure, you should ask him. I told him to keep the jacket. The prince should return it, not the fairy godmother.”

“I don't know…”

“Give it some thought” Taishirou said, giving him a few more encouraging palms on his shoulder “Now where's that ruffian Denki?”

Kirishima checked his phone again for the time. He could still make it, if he walked faster. But the cold was freezing his joints and the pockets weren't enough to keep his hands warm.

Even like that, he arrived just in time to the coffee shop, the warmth like a savior.

“It's you!” Ashido exclaimed as he got closer to the counter “We've looked everywhere for you!”

Kirishima only smiled before sliding the notebook over the counter.

“You do deliveries, right?”

“Excuse me?” Ashido's whole face scrunched in confusion.

“It's time sensitive. I need this package delivered by 5 pm” he said, pushing it closer to her with two fingers and looking at her eyes.

“Fuck!” she said, smiling while yanking at light speed her apron and grabbing her pink coat. “Jirou, hold the fort!” she shouted when she was by the door.

A girl sitting in the bar chocked on her coffee and Kirishima thought she looked a lot like the lead singer from the night before.

The doorbell startled Bakugou. Immediately, the person behind the door started knocking at light speed.

“Fuck, I'm coming” he shouted before opening and letting a pink hurricane grab him by the shirt.

“We have to leave, now! Get to the station and take the A train, you gotta be there by 5!” she said, all sounding like one big word and grabbing his jacket from beside the door.

He was about to protest while she was trying to drag him through the door when he saw the notebook on her hand. Then he couldn't fly the stairs fast enough.

He ran to the station, Ashido left behind quickly. Just when he took the train at the last second, he was able to sit down and read the message properly. There was a page ripped before the signalized one.

Sorry I messed up the game. It was too much, and I guess I got scared. Not so manly, right? I wanted to escape, if I'm being honest. But then I saw your message, like some kind of beacon of light in some dirty bathroom. I felt seen. And yes, I felt scared, but also strong enough to face it. And you know what? I had an amazing time. It was like a whole different world, a whole different part of me, was opened. The only thing missing for it to be perfect was some snarky dynamite boy.

So, I wanna return the favor. Find this house, the nutcracker one. You'll know it when you see it.

Bakugou carefully followed the little map sketched at the bottom as soon as he hopped off the train. It was freezing and he had just one coat, but the adrenaline was keeping him warm. At least that was what he said to himself as he arrived to a heavily decorated house. It was embarrassingly festive, lights on every surface and even those inflatable reindeers and a wooden nutcracker that was about his same height. It was ridiculous. He hated it.

Write down what you see.

Bakugou uncapped a pen with his teeth and scratched the paper below, where Eijirou had left a space for him.

I see plastic bullshit. Fake decorations. Nothing real.

Now look again. Give it another chance.

He looked around, slightly annoyed, and then he saw them right in front of him.

Fine. I see an elderly couple, taking a picture in front of the house, holding hands. Probably they have a fucking ton of those pictures around, every year in front of the same house. They must know each other pretty damn well.

He turned around the page before walking again, leaving the house behind. Every house in the block was an insane Christmas show.

You see, dynamite boy, I often have trouble believing in myself. But this book has magic in it. We found in it what we need. And I hope you keep looking for the good stuff, as I am, thanks to you.

But, in case you need a little help, be at the last house on the block before the clock strikes 5. I'll send you a sign.

Bakugou's phone alarm went off as soon as he stood in front of the last house. It was heavy covered with strings of light, every color he could think of was there. Then, the arch in the entryway lit up and its message was clear. It said “Believe” in bright red tiny lights. Bakugou had to squint.

I believe in you. Do you still believe in me?

If someone asked, Bakugou would deny to death that he was smiling when the first snowflakes started to fall.

He was gripping hard the notebook, pen still in the other hand, when his phone chimed. He lazily unlocked it, without really checking. He was more preoccupied with the lights winking at him. At least until he read the text that had just arrived.

Shouto: Hi. Can we meet?

Chapter Text

“For fucks sake!” Bakugou shouted, throwing the pink paste on the table with enough force that it startled everyone around him. 

So, yeah, he was angry alright. He knew how to make mochi, he was great at it, actually. But today it seemed like he had claws instead of fingers, his hands heavy and clumsy. 

Eijirou had dared him to go to a cooking class, of all things. Because he wanted him to 'cook sweets for him', like he couldn't already. 

The classroom kitchen was full of grannies that loved to chat about their grandkid’s shenanigans. One even pinched his cheeks when he arrived and told him her granddaughter was single. He almost felt tempted to run away. 

And now his mind wasn't giving him a break. His phone felt heavy inside his pocket, burning with messages like it was scolding his leg. 

He had done a shitty job with the mochi anyway, but at least he couldn't check his phone like a millennial with withdrawal. 

“Sweety, you should-” 

“I fucking know” he snarled at the granny that was trying to help, probably out of pity for the mess of strawberry and red beans paste his station was. The instructor had already given up on him. 

He could somehow picture Eijirou here, surrounded by these women, knowing by name all their family members and asking questions about them with genuine interest. He probably thrived on the sweet attention they would give him. He wondered if any of them was his grandmother but none of them mentioned any Eijirou, and considering his loving nature it seemed random that any of those sweet ladies would pass out the opportunity to brag about him. 

So the asshole was just the kind of person that spent his free time cooking with old ladies. Figures. 

He ruined another mochi with his paws and threw it into the trash can with a hard clank . This was starting to get ridiculous. 

Bakugou washed his hands with a sigh, using all his willpower not to set his station on fire, and fished for the notebook on his backpack. 

You may know that mochi requires extreme focus. 

“Of course I'm focused, idiot” Bakugou scoffed to himself, and his phone chimed in his pocket, like a reminder. 

Shouto: Katsuki, let 's talk. 

Well, maybe he was lying to himself. 

He shook his head and focused on the words written in heavy red ink before him. 

You are in front of a tough crowd. The grannies will try to help you, but they also will toss any garbage you make. They don't forgive, believe me. 

All you need to do to succeed is to listen to your mochi. 

“What the fuck?” he whispered, looking at the ingredients again before glancing again to the notebook. The last words were surrounded by lines and little stars and sparkle doodles for impact. Such a dork. 

I came to realize you are kind of a control freak, dude. You have all these ideas and thoughts about how things should be, but sometimes the best place to find the answers is the quiet one. 

I sent you here because you need to learn to go with the flow! Give it a try! Listen. 

Bakugou couldn't believe this guy. He shook his head again, this time with a smile he made sure no one else saw. Then he closed his eyes and breathed deep, trying to relax his tense back and moving his fingers a little before he tried again. 

He was hunched over his table, hands deep in the ingredients. Brows furrowed in concentration, his fingers confident manipulating the paste to his will. 

And then, before his eyes like it materialized from thin air, the perfect mochi. 

“Very good.” the instructor said before moving on to another station to check. 

He smiled, cooky, and this time he didn't mind if anyone else saw it. 

At least he knew Eijirou would have an even more unsettling time than him, and the thought made his smile grow bigger. 

Kirishima found the address stated in the notebook and smiled. The sign on the door read Art Pop Up. His guy was going soft on him. 

“Welcome, everyone!” the instructor was loud, his long blond hair braided tightly and his glasses perched precariously on his nose. Kirishima promptly rushed to a free work station “Today's exercise is all about creating. We are building something that manifests what's occupying our mental space.”

He snorted quietly because there was no challenge at all. In front of him, he had every crafting supply he could need, and he was good with his hands. He would knock this out of the park. 

“You are free here to express yourself!” the instructor kept saying, but Kirishima was already set for a goal. He inspected the bunch of fabrics piled up in the back of the room before selecting a few and bringing them back with him. Then he tested how sharp the scissors were. He was a man that knew his tools, after all. 

And he had a great time, cutting little fabric pieces to make facial features. Some red eyes were topped by angry eyebrows and a wild puff of green hair. He wasn't sure if he liked the contrast with the orange he used for the body but he had made a commitment already. 

“Are you done?” the instructor said, and everyone nodded and interchanged compliments over their different sculptures. “And what do we have here?” he asked Kirishima. 

“I made a muppet.” he said, satisfaction dripping from his grin “It's what I think a friend of mine would look like in real life.” 

“He looks rude.” the guy said, before moving onto the next person. 

Kirishima shrugged before turning over the page with the instructions, to find the rest of the message. 

If you think it's over and the dare was that fucking easy for you, you have another thing coming. 

Kirishima mumbled in confusion when the instructor reached the front of the class again. 

“Okay, since we've already created, are we ready to get rid of the corporeal baggage we just manifested?” 

“What?” he said, looking around and noticing the rest of the people putting on gloves and safety goggles before stepping to a second room with big glass walls and setting their stuff on tables. 

“This place is called Break Room, kid, what did you expect? People literally come here to break stuff up to feel better” 

Kirishima looked at the other people again, just in time to see how a guy knocked over the metal structure he had just spent half an hour making with a literal hammer. 

I feel like you need to scream a little more, Eijirou. 

Let it all out, all those angry, dark, messy feelings. The non-Eijirou kind. Stop hiding behind a smile and release all those negative emotions. Beat the shit out of something. You'll feel great. 

Kirishima gaped like a fish out of water when the instructor appeared behind him again. 

“These should work for you,” he said before handing him the biggest pair of gardening scissors he had ever seen.

Kirishima looked at them before watching some guy tearing with his hands his sculpture made of little craft sticks. 

“Ah, Bakugou, your regular session today?” 

“Nah, I'm pretty fucking chill today” he answered while shaking off the snow off his hair, patting the little mochi box he had. 

“Your friend was nice,” Yamada said, handing him the notebook. “We've never had a Muppet before” 

“Where's the corpse?” he asked but Yamada smiled mischievously before shoving a finger in the notebook cover. 

Bakugou furrowed his eyebrow before opening it by the signaled page. 

I'm sorry, dynamite boy, I just couldn't do it. In my defense, I’m just a positive guy, I don’t think beating something up is my thing.

Kirishima was in the middle of his afternoon jog when he saw a familiar head of blond hair, and he was just about to turn back when he saw him as well.

“Kirishima!” Monoma waved at him. He couldn't run away no. Also, it wasn't the manly thing to do anyway.

“Monoma, what are you doing here?” he asked, running a hand through his hair, trying to hide the awkwardness he was feeling. 

“After the club, I looked up your Instagram. You post pictures from the same places around this time of the day, so I figured I would try my luck.”

“So you are stalking me.” Kirishima took an instinctively step backward. 

“No, listen. I was looking for you because I felt bad about how everything turned out after the show.”

“Oh, yeah, when you mocked my looks, and it’s okay. I probably looked like a freak so you don’t have to feel bad. Bye,” he was already turning away when Monoma’s hand gripped him by the shoulder. 

“No, I meant it like a compliment! You look awesome, I mean you were cute when we were kids, but now…” he let his words trail off while giving him a once-over that made him slightly uncomfortable. 

“You thought I was cute?” he whispered, more to himself but Monoma heard him.

“Yeah, I liked your black hair better I think but this is fine'' the guy smiled and Kirishima felt a little more at ease, even if he had not kept in touch with anyone from school because he didn’t want a constant reminder of who he used to be. He took college as a fresh start. 

The silence stretched between them for a while, until Monoma spoke again.

“Listen, there’s one of those poetry shows not far from here tonight. The spoken revolutionary kind. Wanna come?”

“I don’t really picture you in one of those” Kirishima chuckled softly, still confused with the whole situation.

“Hey, a guy is trying, you know?” Monona extended his arms like asking him for mercy “Maybe I’ll catch you there.”

The other guy threw him a hand salute before disappearing around a corner, leaving Kirishima confused and convoluted. 

Bakugou poured a glass of whiskey before throwing himself on the couch. He propped his legs on the coffee table and sighed content while taking a sip, opening the notebook to read with calm his new message. 

I couldn't destroy my creation. And this notebook happens to be the perfect place to release any emotions I could have, good or bad. I can talk to you. 

His phone vibrated in his pocket, so he took it off to check annoyed. 

Utsushimi: hey bitch do we count you in for the xmas party???? answer alreadyyyyy

He scoffed and locked his phone but it vibrated again. He was resolute to send Camie a very long and strong-worded reply when he saw the actual sender.

Shouto: You can’t ignore me forever.

“Fucking try me, asshole” he whispered before tossing the phone to the other side of the room, not worried when he heard it hit the carpeted floor. 

He was about to start with his reply when the doorbell rang loudly, crisping his already on edge nerves. He felt tempted to throw his glass across the room as well.

He heard the door unlock before he could even get up and one of his worst nightmares entered his living room. 

“Why don’t you answer when we call you, little brat?” his mom asked, a set of keys dangling from her finger. His dad appeared behind her and waved at him with an apologetic look.

“Fucking hell, mom, told you that key was just for emergencies, not for your nosy ass” 

“It’s an emergency when my ungrateful kid won't answer his phone. Now get the fuck up and get dressed, we’re going out for dinner.”

“Fuck, no.”

“C’mon, Katsuki.” his father pleaded, and Bakugou felt like fighting even when he knew he had no other choice. 

But he ended up just sighing and retreating to his room.

He plopped into bed before turning on the light on his bedside table. Then, even in that awkward position, he wrote. 

Eijirou, so here’s one christmas nightmare: my parents are fucking dragging me to dinner. This kinda episode can only end up with a fight where even some cutlery is thrown. Real fucking fun family dinners.

The only thing, once upon a time, that could make the whole shitstorm bearable was Shouto. He could defuse any tense situation with that goddamn calm and that fucking rich kid demeanor.

“The fuck am I doing?” he said out loud before ripping out the page and throwing it out somewhere he couldn’t look at it anymore. 

Guessed he couldn't tell the person he liked everything. Or better yet, backtrack that line of thought. He didn't like Eijirou, what the hell was wrong with him tonight?

He stared at the ceiling for a second and then sighed, very annoyed. He went out to recover his phone and angrily type something on it, pressing the call button and waiting. 

“Hey, asshole, you better be free for dinner tonight.” 

Kirishima opened up the door to his apartment but before he could announce his arrival, he heard the loud voices coming from Kaminari’s room.

He really wasn’t trying to hear but the tone was very obvious. They were fighting and it was bad. He winced, worried. They were the kind of couple that never fought, just harmless bickering and sweet banter. 

He was hanging his coat on the hanger beside the door when Shinsou stormed off Kaminari’s room, his hair a mess probably from touching it and his eye bags even more prominent than usual. 

He snatched his coat from the back of the couch and he didn’t reply to Kirishima’s shy greeting before stepping out of the place, door slam included. 

He put the kettle on the stove before going to his friend’s room, knocking softly. He got no answer but peeked his head inside anyway. 

Kaminari was sitting in the middle of the bed, his eyes were watery and he rubbed at them with more force than necessary. 

“Hey, man, what happened?” Kirishima asked softly. 

“We fought” Kaminari avoided his gaze. 

“Yeah, I noticed. May I ask why?” the redhead sat on the bed beside him. 

“He's an asshole” Kirishima waited patiently for him to elaborate, and he did angrily “He says we spend too much time together.” 

“ What ?”

“Yeah. Sometimes he's an ass. He says we can't have a lot of time for us together because you are always with us.” 

“I thought none of you minded that I'm around,” Kirishima said, guilt pooling in his belly. 

“Same, dude. Guess he had that one well hidden.” 

“I'm sure you'll work it out.” Kirishima patted his knee trying to sound confident and cheerful. 

“How would you know?” Kaminari looked him directly in the eye. 

“Well, when notebook boy and I got-” 

“On God Kirishima, if you tell me about him as it is an actual relationship. You just have a fucking penpal.” 

“Okay. I know you don't mean it so I'm just gonna leave now” he said, getting up but Kaminaris scoff stopped him. 

“Well, now you leave.” 

“If you have something to say you better be clear.” 

“Shinsou is right. We don't have a second alone because you are always here. You are overbearing.” 

“Well, today's your fucking lucky day because you get the whole place just for you” 

He slammed his door and passed by the kettle whistling loudly but paid it no mind before taking his coat and going for the door. 

“Kiri, wait! Eijirou!” Kaminari's voice called from the door but he was already flying down the stairs. 

Bakugou was playing around with his food, waiting for the moment his mother would snap his hand and tell him to eat already for the love of God. 

She was ranting about work, he wasn't paying mind when his eyes were drawn to the overpriced restaurant door where a distinct head of hair was making an entrance. 

Todoroki had his hair slicked back, black slacks that hugged his long legs just right, and a dark blue blazer. He took it off before heading to the table, his white shirt had some undone buttons. Bakugou felt his mouth dry. 

He politely greeted his parents before sitting down beside Bakugou, whispering close to his ear 

“Hi, again” 

Bakugou made a noncommittal grunt as a greeting, but his mother spoke before he could think of something to say. 

“Shouto, dear. I don't know why you still give my son the time of day” 

“No, Mitsuki, he's actually the one who's making time for me. Your son has a very busy schedule.” 

“Shouto, I have all exits located, tug your ear when you want to run from these two” Masaru joked, and Todoroki chuckled before touching his ear and everyone on the table laughed. 

Except for Bakugou, who was too busy chugging down some white wine. 

“Tell us what you’ve been up lately?” his mother asked, drinking some wine and Todoroki had the nerve to look a little abashed. Bakugou braced himself for something he wouldn't like.

“My father decided to retire recently so I took over the business,” he said, giving him an apologetic look that lasted a second.

“That sounds wonderful! I don’t know why this brat right here won't start his own business already instead of working for someone else like he’s some nobody” and there it was. The grand prize of shit he didn’t want to hear.

Bakugou opened his mouth to answer, ready for the confrontation, ready even to throw his napkin to the first person he would see as soon he got up from his chair. He felt Todoroki tensing beside him, all three sets of eyes on him. 

But then, some words came to mind, and he channeled them as much as he could. 

Listen to your mochi. Sometimes the best place to find the answers is the quiet one. 

So he breathed. One, two times. 

“I’ll do it when I’m ready” he replied eventually, cutting his food with too much force, the knife clinking against the plate. 

Mitsuki sighed and Masaru visibly relaxed. 

“I guess I get it,” she said, before continuing with her chatting. 

Todoroki smiled at him from above his glass, one of those muted and reassuring smiles. Bakugou scoffed but didn’t try too hard to hide that he was smiling back. 

Kirishima looked again at his phone screen, the name and number of Ashido’s shop bright after a google search. But he decided against calling her to check if the notebook was there. 

Instead, he kept walking, the snow thick under his boots and his fingers numb even inside his pockets. 

He decided to take a shortcut through a small square, all covered in white and skinny trees with lights that blinked at him sluggishly. 

Besides the swings was a full family of snowmen, all complete with their carrot noses, scarves, and hats. They looked adorable, like out of a bedtime story. He stopped in front of them to look, their smiles crooked and mocking. 

Beat the shit out of something. You'll feel great.

And so Kirishima did. He started knocking one’s head with a swift punch, and it felt nice. So he kept going. He kicked one until it was a crumbled mess of dirty snow, and used its arm to give the others the same destiny. Their clothes were dirty and wet on the muddy snow, and his eyes felt prickly and his throat sore from shouting. But his notebook boy was right. It did felt great. 

He arrived at the bar with a lot of pent up energy, his hands cold from the snow, and his boots wet inside. But he didn’t care, he just stepped inside the place as he owned it.

Kirishima didn’t even stop, he went straight to the small stage on the far corner and yanked the microphone from the guy reading the names of the poets for the day. 

“Sorry, man, I’m just kinda in a roll, you know? Monoma, are you here?” he couldn't see the faces looking at him from the light on his face, but he did hear the whispers around the place. He felt like an idiot but he was already there so he might as well lose all dignity “No? Okay. Okay. I just beat the crap out of something and it felt amazing” he said, and there was some cheering from the back of the public that felt out of place “Thank you. I mean that it’s okay to say that things suck. Right now they really do. And the truth is that I’m not happy and positive all the time, no. I often feel small, like an outsider. And I have a few encounters with someone from my past that honestly didn't make it better.”

His eyes were more used to the darkness by now, so some faces were more discernible. And then, there in the back of the crowd, he recognized a familiar head of blond hair. 

“There you are, Monoma! A living reminder of who I used to be, of everything I tried to leave behind. I was doing okay, great even, acting like that little kid wasn't me. That I had always been like this. But then you had to swing by and remind me of what I really was. A coward” 

Monoma looked right at him, into his eyes. And Kirishima had to be sincere.

“And this isn’t even about you, or notebook boy, or my family or Denki. It’s about me, about how I can't accept that that kid was me, and it’s part of my story and without him, I wouldn't have changed to be who I am now. And the truth is that I am a little mad, all the time. Mostly at myself. But I don’t want all that anger to have power over me anymore. I wish I could have done so many things differently. But it is what it is. I let it go now.”

He propped the mic again in its stand and jumped off the stage. People were clapping and whispering and the guy with his little cards with names stood again in front of the crowd. He didn't hear anything he said. 

Kirishima walked to Monoma’s little round table and plopped down on the chair in front of him, mumbling a quiet “excuse me” before taking a sip from his beer. 

“Wow, Kirishima, that was…. wow,” he said and slid the beer to him subtly, but Kirishima was grateful.

They sat there in silence for a second, the background noise making it less awkward. 

“That was really cool, you know? That you stood there and talked about your feelings. Really brave, some may say manly, even.” Monoma winked and Kirishima felt his cheeks heat up. 

“You remember that dumb thing about manliness?” he asked, trying to hide his face with the glass. 

“Of course I do” Monoma paused like he was thinking “Hey, are you up to maybe spending some time with me? I know you said I remind you of… stuff, but maybe you’d like to go to a Christmas Eve Party with me tomorrow?”

“Well… I did say I’m ready to let it go.” he gave him a shy smile and Monoma returned it. 

Bakugou and Todoroki walked his parents to their car, parked outside the restaurant. Mitsuki looped her arm with his and made a point of walking slower while Todoroki and Masaru took the lead while talking. 

“I’m happy you and Shouto are back together. He is good for you, brat. He keeps you grounded” she said, whispering like she was sharing a secret.

“Fuck, we’re not together again” he snarled, but she just gave him a knowing look before getting inside the car and waving goodbye along with her husband.

“Who was that in there?” asked Todoroki while Bakugou still watched the car leaving, words stuck in his throat. “You didn't even need me to defuse any bombs.”

“Shut up,” Bakugou said, but the words lacked heat. “I’m glad you came. I know this isn’t what you probably had in mind when you asked to meet, though.”

“It's okay. I’m glad you wanted to meet at all. I just wanted to make sure we were okay, considering how we ended. It would be nice to be friends.” Todoroki said, tentative, like extending a hand.

“Friends, huh?” Bakugou said, without exactly reaching out for that hand, but without slapping it neither. 

“Listen, some of our friends are hanging out in a bar not so far. I know they invited you but you didn’t answer. Wanna go?” 

“Is that blonde nightmare gonna be there?”

“Camie is your friend, c’mon, you’ll have fun” Todoroki grabbed his arm and Bakugou groaned but let himself be dragged. 

The bar was crowded and he saw a few familiar faces in the back, around a long table. 

“On god, I must be seeing things!” Camie squeaked and Bakugou groaned again “Bakubae, it’s past your bedtime!” 

“Shut the fuck up” 

“Glad to see everything is the same,” Todoroki said, taking him to a corner where it was a little quieter.

“Hey, Bakugou, long time no see!”

“Fuck off, annoying asshole”

“Hey, Monoma” Todoroki even shook his hands while Bakugou rolled his eyes and called for a waiter to bring him a drink.

“You’ll like this, I’m just coming from a poetry reading. Incredible, right?”

“Wow, it’s a whole new Monoma,” Bakugou said, sarcastically.

“That sounds nice,” Todoroki said, ever the peacemaker, and Monoma smiled pleased.

“I even had a breakthrough tonight” Monoma continued as he was talking to himself. Bakugou thought that he had one as well. 

“Are you guys coming to Camie’s Christmas Eve party tomorrow night?”

“Oh, honey, you have to come,” the girl said, appearing out of nowhere and startling Monoma.

“I’m going.” he said “I’m bringing someone special” and just like that he left to talk to someone else. Bakugou sighed relieved. 

“You don’t have to” Todoroki slid across the plastic seat to be closer to him “but we can go together. As friends.”

Bakugou looked at him and found those mismatched eyes already looking into his. He made a show of sighing like he was exhausted before mumbling a small “fine”. It was no use, though, and he knew it because Todoroki could see right through him if his own smile was any indicator. 

For a brief moment, Bakugou thought about the notebook sitting on his bedside table, open by the page with Eijirou’s last message. He could almost picture it in his mind since he had read it so many times already.

It’s hard to break old habits, to open up to new things. But if you can do it, my dynamite boy, then I promise to try. And I hope you write back soon. I guess this is me saying… go with the flow.

Chapter Text

Hey, Ei. I’ve been spending time with some asshole that would call himself my friend but I won’t use that word to describe him ever. But he’s OK I guess. We’ve been through some shit together. 

“You are not wearing that coat to the party,” Todoroki said, dragging him by the arm while Bakugou pretended to be annoyed. 

“What the fuck is wrong with it?” he growled.

“Nothing, just that you look like a grumpy old man” 

“What the fuck?” 

“As your friend and potential wingman, I just want to help you meet someone tonight” 

Bakugou felt the blush creeping up his ears, Todoroki giving him a knowing look raising one eyebrow. 

“Not that I need to tell you anything, candy cane. But I don’t need your shitty help, I already met someone” 

“What?”

“Don’t act so fucking surprised, asshole” Bakugou glared at him and Todoroki gave him his usual bored look that he had mastered throughout the years. 

He avoided his questioning looks until they arrived at a little hole in the wall restaurant specialized in yakiniku . 

They sat and Bakugou ordered as Eijirou instructed him. The silence between them was heavy but not awkward. He could tell Todoroki was curious about that someone, so he decided he could spare him some details after all. With one final roll of eyes, he told him how he had found Eijirou. 

“How can you trust a guy capable of eating this much meat?” Todoroki gazed at the red meat plate in front of them waiting to be their lunch. 

Bakugou only shrugged and noted how his companion’s eyes fell on the slope of his shoulders. They hadn’t talked in months, but he knew how to read him. To an outsider, they both looked bored and even apathetic, but he knew Todoroki was listing all the small details about him. Especially the most evident one, that he hadn’t denied that he trusted Eijirou. 

“It’s how the game works. I do whatever fuckery he asks and report back.” he popped a piece of meat on his mouth and hummed contently. At least the guy had good taste in meat. 

“I’m happy for you, Katsuki” Todoroki whispered, leaning closer in front of him. “You finally found that perfect guy in your head.”

“The fuck does that mean?” 

“I mean that you have this image of how someone perfect for you should be, and everyone is measured against it. So this notebook thing is a good idea, if you never meet him, he can stay the perfect guy in your head forever” he said, sipping his drink absently. 

“Whatever. Not that it should matter to you, but we are gonna meet. Eventually.”

“Sure. I hope he doesn’t fall from his pedestal.” Before Bakugou could tell him to fuck off, he checked his watch “Hurry now, we have to go shopping before it gets too late.” 

I maybe should thank you for making me more flexible with the past. But you won’t catch me saying it anyway. I can say, though, that you made the holiday season less shitty for me. 

So, as a Christmas gift, I’ll give you my name. I’ll give the notebook to your friend, the Totoro looking one, so it’s under your tree by Christmas morning. 

“Yo, Kiri!” Kirishima closed the notebook as his friends approached, carrying their coffee mugs. “Here you go.”

Togata slid a steaming mug across the table for him while Tamaki sat as well. 

“So, notebook guy. I like him” the blond said, eyeing the cover of the notebook.

“I don’t know, sounds a little… deranged” Tamaki said, his boyfriend just laughed. 

“Anyway, what are your plans for the new year?” 

“Oh, I’m just gonna fly to my parents’. Denki’s gonna spend it at Shinsou’s so I’m just gonna hop on a plane and welcome the year on the air.”

“Sounds a little sad” Tamaki said concerned.

“Tickets were really cheap” he shrugged.

The conversation kept going but his mind was on the last message written in the notebook. So, knowing his friends wouldn’t mind losing him for a second, he opened it to reply. 

Hey, dynamite boy whose name I’m excited to learn. I’m glad I was helpful. Even though you very pointedly didn’t say thanks, you’re welcome. You make me feel brave about the future. 

He left the place feeling light after something warm to drink and good company from his friends. Before he could cross the street making his way to his place, his phone chimed in his pocket, startling him. 

Monoma: pick u up at 8 (:

Kirishima instantly fell something weird glooming on his chest. He wouldn’t call it distaste but certainly wasn’t excitement. 

He pushed open the door, announcing his arrival in case Kaminari was home. And then proceeded to wreck his closet searching for something to wear to the party. 

All his clothes were scattered in the bed, some fell on the floor even. Kirishima felt the need to take out his muppet since it seemed to be glaring at him from his place on the dresser. 

Kaminari knocked on the door even though it was open, and Kirishima looked at him but didn’t say anything. 

“Hey… I went to Starbucks and bought those monstrous holiday peppermint drinks, wanna choke on that with me and see who gets sick faster?” 

Kirishima didn’t answer, instead, he kept digging through his closet, this time looking for the boxes on top with clothes that he didn’t regularly use. 

“Kiri, listen. I’m really sorry” Kaminari moved some sweaters to sit on the bed “I was mad at Hitoshi and lashed out at you, which was a dick move because you are my rock. Please, forgive me.”

“Fine. But only because I don’t want you mopping around and giving me puppy eyes well into next year,” he said, feigning being annoyed.

 Kaminari squeaked and jumped off the bed to hug him from behind. Kirishima ignored it and kept browsing through some Hawaiian shirts.

“I can’t get sick with you though. I have a date.”

“Holy shit, you finally asked notebook boy out? Took you your sweet time.”

“Is with another guy, actually.”

“Okay, that took a turn.”

“I need your help, though,” Kirishima said, finally giving up and throwing himself on the bed without moving any clothing item.

“Yeah, I can tell.” Kaminari grabbed some stuff from the floor and placed it on the chair by the desk.

“Help me come up with an excuse so I can cancel.”

“Why would you want to cancel a Christmas date? Isn’t that, like, your wet dream or something?”

Kaminari dodged the pillow Kirishima threw at him but stuck his tongue out when he flipped him.

“I’ll pretend you didn’t say that. My point is arent I betraying notebook boy by going out with someone else?” 

“Bro, you and that guy aren’t dating. You don’t even know his name, how can you be blamed for going on a date if you can’t even be sure if you are gonna meet him someday?”

“But… I like notebook boy” Kirishima said in a barely audible whisper, his face buried in the pillow. 

“I like him too” he felt the familiar weight of Kaminari dipping the bed beside him “But why hasn’t he asked you out yet? What’s he up to tonight?” 

“He said he was spending some time with a friend”

Kaminari snorted.

“That doesn’t sound suspicious at all.”

“God, Kami, tell me this isn’t one of your ‘he’s with his ex’ moments.” 

“But it totally is this time! Let me see” he grabbed the book from the bedside table to take a look “‘We’ve been through some shit together’, see?”

Kirishima didn’t answer, now unsure. What if he was spending time with an ex, did he had the right to be jealous or feel betrayed? They weren’t dating, and he had as well accepted to go on a date. 

“Listen” Kaminari bonked him on the head with the notebook, sensing his line of thought. “Go out and have some fun. You can think of meeting him later.”

He got up and Kirishima listened to his steps going to the kitchen, probably to drink the peppermint monster or die trying. 

Kirishima sat on the booth furthest from the door at Ashido’s shop. She came by with her apron that had attached Christmas lights twinkling to an unheard tune. Kirishima could tell exactly which carol was, though. 

“You haven’t told him we met?” he asked her while she sat in front of him, tray close to her chest. 

“He still thinks you just snook on me. Our conversations are off the record.”

He watched her put a stray lock of hair behind her ear, the pink fading, while chewing on his bottom lip. 

“Off the record, I was wondering… God, this sounds so stupid. But do you know if he is hanging out with an ex or something?”

“What? Hell no. He and Todoroki are done, they never talk after they broke up. Why are you asking?” 

“It’s just that he said he was spending time with an old friend and I thought… is dumb, sorry” he rolled his hood’s strings around his finger avoiding her gaze. 

“It’s odd that he didn’t mention any old friend to me, but I’m sure it’s nothing, honey. Don’t worry.”

Kirishima just sighed before taking the notebook off his jacket pocket. 

“Can you give this to him? Before I change my mind.” 

“Of course. I’ll see him at a party tonight.” she watched him standing up to leave “Want something to go? On the house.” 

“Nah, it’s okay. Thank you.” 

And just like that, it was like he was never there.

“Todoroki, you showing your pretty face around here again?” Ashido asked, avoiding colliding with him in the middle of Camie’s living room. The place was crowded already, even though it was fairly early still. 

“Ah, hi. I’m friends with Utsushimi.” he said, sounding confused under Ashido’s calculating gaze. She didn’t answer, just narrowed her eyes. 

The doorbell rang and Todoroki cocked his head towards the door. Ashido narrowed her eyes even more. 

Bakugou emerged from the outside world, wearing a long black overcoat painted with snow. He spotted them quickly enough and made his way to them, just as Camie did to greet him.

“Looking sharp, Bakubae, you are wearing pants your size, even!” she said, kissing his cheek while he shoved her away. 

“You should have seen him throwing a fit because he didn’t think he needed a new coat” Todoroki chuckled, and he softly ruffled his blond hair to get rid of the tiny snowflakes trapped in it. 

“You were shopping with Todoroki?” Ashido hissed and Bakugou just shrugged. 

Bakugou handed Camie a white box emblazoned with a Christmas cookies logo, and she smiled.

“Since you guys bought dessert, you can pick the next song.” 

“Katsuki can only tolerate Christmas songs without any lyrics.” Todoroki said, and Camie pinched his cheek before walking away. 

Ashido grabbed Bakugou's arm hard enough to make him wince and dragged him away.

“You went shopping with Todoroki and picked up dessert together?” she barked. 

The snow was lightly packing on the floor while Kirishima waited. Monoma was already ten minutes late and he was starting to get nervous. He pressed his sweater, trying to erase any invisible wrinkles with his fingers. After too much time he was able to found his ugly Christmas sweater. He bought it a few years ago for a family get-together, it was black with knitted Christmas lights patterns and it had a t-rex in the center wearing a Santa Claus hat. 

An uber stopped in front of his apartment and he sighed relieved. Monoma came out of it and opened the door wide for him to enter. Kirishima smiled at him and mumbled a shy greeting.

“I love your sweater,” Monoma said loudly after entering the car, and Kirishima felt the strange urge to close his coat so he wouldn’t see it anymore, but he kept his hands still while the driver made their way across the streets.

Ashido took Bakugou into Camie’s room, a temporary designed closet with a thousand coats on the bed. 

“You are spending time with Todoroki and you are not telling me about it?” she hissed, and Bakugou thought she looked a lot like an angry mom scolding her child. 

“Why the fuck do you care? It’s not a big deal.” He shrugged her iron grip off his shoulder and sat on the bed without even trying to clear a spot. 

“It’s my best friend’s duty to tell you that he is bad for you.” she said, crossing her arms on her chest and looking down at him. 

“The fuck? I thought you liked the bastard.”

“Of course I like him. He’s amazing, but he is wrong for you, Baku!” she bought her hand to her face to rub her eyes but remembered just in time she was wearing eyeshadow so she avoided it. “He’s got you clothes, and he talks for you, and now you are following him around to parties I know you don’t wanna be in. Are you having fun?” 

Bakugou scowled but didn’t say anything, so Ashido sighed before rummage through her sparkly bag and handing him the notebook.

“Eijirou makes you have fun.” she whispered softly “He challenges you. He brings out the best in you. I never saw you this happy before.”

Bakugou grabbed the book but didn’t say anything, just looking at it instead of at his friend. 

“Listen, honey. Just don’t blow this good thing you have with Eijirou.” she grabbed her coat from the pile on the bed and kissed his cheek.

“Are you leaving?” he asked, voice gruff and rough. 

“Yeah, I’m having a drink with someone.” 

And just like that, she was gone. 

Kirishima and Monoma stepped out of one elevator at the same time the doors of the other one closed with a ding . Monoma held his hand before opening the door for him and they entered the party. 

It was packed, certainly. And as soon as they arrived, Monoma dropped his hand to go say hi to some people. Kirishima was left alone close to the door and for a second he thought of leaving, but he didn’t. Instead, he looked around and to his dismay, he was the only one wearing an ugly Christmas sweater. Everyone else was wearing nice button-downs and the girls had mini dresses that could cause frostbite if worn outside. 

He felt his face heat up, even though no one was looking at him. Luckily Monoma came back soon enough.

“Give me your jacket so I can hang it while I say hi to some friends. Make yourself at home.” and he disappeared into the ocean of people Kirishima didn’t dare to cross.

Bakugou snuggled himself with the forgotten coats, enjoying the toasty feeling, before checking the new message on the notebook.

Hey, notebook boy. Have you seen that new animated movie that just came up? That one about office supplies that fall in love. I keep thinking about that scene on the trailer where the highlighter says “Be bold.” I wish you were with me so we could think of puns together. But I think that one is great. Be bold. You’ve encouraged me to be bolder than I’ve ever been. So it’s time for me to put it out there. This isn’t enough for me, I want us to meet in person. What do you say? We can go to watch that movie together. 

Bakugou felt a smile creeping on him, unauthorized, but he let it be. He thought it was deserved given the situation. So he peeked in Camie’s bedside table until he found a pen that wasn’t dry already. 

Hey, Ei. I wish you were here with me right now too. 

Then Monoma barged in the room and threw a few coats on the pile on top of him. 

“Watch out, idiot.” he said.

“Ah, didn’t see you there” Monoma didn’t even try to look sorry “Are you reading at a party?” he asked, raising one eyebrow before chuckling and leaving him by himself again.

“Asshole.” Bakugou mumbled, before getting himself comfortable again and resume what he was doing.

Kirishima felt so out of place, not only because of his outfit but also because he didn’t know anyone at that party. At least no one was looking at him, they were just ignoring him. Maybe that was worse, though, he couldn’t make up his mind about that yet. 

His eyes darted around the room, looking for a blond head that he didn’t find, instead, he did see a puff of a lighter shade of blond, pale and unruly, spiking in the weirdest places and looking soft as a dandelion. 

He realized he was staring and it was getting creepy, so he just turned around and headed to the appetizers table in the back of the room, where no one seemed to be around. 

He grabbed a small plate and a napkin before helping himself with little gingerbread cookies. He picked one that had the shape of a star. He sensed someone standing beside him with their plate but didn’t lookup. 

“That’s some nice sweater,” a deep voice said, and when Kirishima did look up now he regretted it. 

It was the blond from before, but up close he could tell his eyelashes were the same pale shade as his hair and that his eyes were the most piercing shade of red he ever saw. And he was wearing a sarcastic smile, too. 

“I’m aware I look ridiculous, don’t need to be an asshole, you know?” he said, putting some macaroons on his plate and pretending he wasn’t hurt. 

The guy snorted and picked a tiny sandwich. 

“At least you carry it. I look like a dumbass with these stupid fancy clothes” he yanked the collar of his dark turtleneck and sighed, looking defeated.

“I think you look great” Kirishima mumbled, and the guy stared at him. 

He felt pretty awkward already so he popped a macaroon on his mouth avoiding the stranger’s gaze.

“How do you know Utsushimi?” he asked, and Kirishima struggled to swallow down the pastry. 

“Who?” he said, not succeeding on his task. The guy made a face, Kirishima wasn’t sure what it meant.

“You are eating her fucking food.”

“Oh. Oh! I don’t know anyone here.” 

The guy smiled, this time just playful, and leaned against the table.

“Are you a burglar?” 

Kirishima smiled at him, taking a sip of some apple cider before speaking again. 

“If I am are you turning me in?” 

“I’d let you rob any of these asshats only if you take me as a hostage because I could use any excuse to leave.” the guy said, words falling prettily off his mouth, and Kirishima was already charmed. 

“Will you show me where they keep the jewels?” he asked, trying to look at the guy’s eyes but failing and looking at his lazy smile. 

“We’ll be in another country by the time they notice.” he replied, and Kirishima chuckled.

“That sounds easier than being at this party.” 

“People comfortable at parties are like that asshole over there” he tipped his glass to point at someone and when Kirishima looked he felt his heart sank. It was Monoma talking loudly to a crowd of people and overall making an asshole of himself. 

“Do you know him?” he asked, his voice tiny.

“Monoma? Yeah, fucking idiot. Hate his guts.” 

Kirishima’s eyes roamed the room, trying to find something to keep the conversation going and away from Monoma. 

“What about him?” he asked, pointing at a guy with his hair white and red, looking like a Christmas present already, all wrapped up in fancy clothes and even fancier shoes. He was talking to a tall girl wearing a black dress that hugged like it was made for her and high heels that could kill a person, her blonde hair wrapped in a neat braid. “Girls and boys must throw themselves at him at any given chance. I bet he was never alone at a party.”

“At least we can be alone together.” the guy said and extended his hand towards him. “I’m Bakugou Katsuki.”

Kirishima shook his hand gently, feeling its warmth and trying to engrave the feeling in his mind.” 

“I’m-” 

“I knew I’d found you in a corner.” The two colors guy approached them, and Kirishima pretended not to notice how he grabbed the blond by the waist. 

“Hey, Bakugou, I know you aren’t hitting on my date!” Monoma said, appearing beside him and surrounding his shoulders with his arm. Kirishima pushed away from the need to shrug him off, and if he saw Bakugou staring daggers at Monoma he pinned it on the fact that he hated him. 

“We should play something, you know? Get the party going.” he said, and Kirishima wondered if his voice was always this obnoxious. 

“Katsuki likes dares. What about a few rounds of Truth and Dare?” the other guy said and looked at Kirishima’s sweater for the first time. He didn’t make any comments.

“The fuck are we, fifteen?” Bakugou snarled, but he let the other guy drag him across the living room, closely followed by Kirishima and Monoma. 

A tight circle was formed around a coffee table full of various drinks, and Bakugou’s date took the initiative.

“Katsuki, truth or dare?”

“Fuck, no.” he answered, Kirishima smiled to himself. 

“Don’t be boring, babe.” the blonde girl shouted, clearly having one too many drinks.

“Fucking fine. Dare.” 

“I dare you to leave this party with me and travel back in time, right now.” the guy said, and the people around whistled. He smiled at Bakugou, being the first time Kirishima saw him show emotion since he had arrived. 

“We actually get to leave?” the guy nodded and Bakugou sighed. “Fine.” 

They both stood up while everyone cheered and howled, and when the guy offered him a hand Bakugou grabbed it with no hesitation and they stalked to the door. He looked at him, though, before leaving the circle. He looked at him in the eyes and looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t. 

And they were out of the door. 

Todoroki wasn’t being subtle. Bakugou remembered pretty well how to get to his place, and they were doing it. 

He didn’t protest, anyway. He wanted to see what he would try, and how he would feel about it. 

So he let him lead the way, walking slightly behind him and listening to the city’s noises. They passed by some decorated houses hosting other parties, other people, other universes. Todoroki was looking at the sky. There weren’t any clouds anymore, and it was clear which meant it was freezing. He hated it. He knew the stars reflected in Todoroki’s eyes but he wasn’t so sure about wanting to watch that galaxy anymore. 

Then they arrived, warm from the walk but with freezing hands. 

“I know you don’t like crowds, so I figured it would better if we left.” he said, serving to glasses of whiskey. He wasn’t subtle at all. 

“Where’s the time machine?” he asked, sipping his drink before sitting on the couch. 

“This place is, obviously.” Todoroki sat beside him “Remember how much time we used to spend here?” 

Bakugou tipped his glass at him but didn’t say anything. The silence stretched for a few seconds before Bakugou found his eyes again. Todoroki was staring at him intently. He grabbed his glass and put both of them on the coffee table before touching ever so slightly his cheek with just one cold finger. Bakugou felt goosebumps breaking up on his arms. 

“Come on,” Todoroki said, his gaze flicking to his lips for a second. Suddenly he was very close. “I dare you.” 

Kirishima took advantage of Monoma being super into truth or dare -go figure- to sneak up and head towards the door while putting on his jacket. 

He wasn’t very lucky anyway, because the blond spotted him and followed him to the door. 

“Kirishima, are you leaving already?” he asked. 

“Yeah. I’m not feeling great, better head back home.” he had his hand on the doorknob already, eager to just leave.

“Let me call you an uber” Monoma opened the door while showing him his phone, and called the elevator to their floor. 

Kirishima felt awkward in the silence while they waited for the elevator to arrive. 

“Listen, thank you for coming with me to the party” Monoma said, and Kirishima missed the silence “I liked spending time with you.”

He didn’t point out that they barely were together or that he was using excuses to leave and never see his face again. He thought maybe he should have because Monoma grabbed his hand and suddenly his face was dangerously close, too close for comfort. Kirishima opened up his mouth to say something, anything, that would stop Monoma from trying to kiss him when his phone chimed in. He sighed, relieved. 

“Shit, didn’t realize this holiday surge pricing would be so expensive. Do you mind calling your own Uber?” 

Kirishima nodded, already thinking about his bed and a fuzzy pajama. A girl peeked through the door and called for Monoma to join the party again.

“Duty calls,” the blond said “Goodnight.”

“Yeah, goodnight.” Kirishima replied not ill feelings whatsoever, before stepping into the elevator and head back home. 

“Shouto” Bakugou’s voice came out hoarse like he hadn’t used it in a long time. “What the fuck are we doing? The truth. No more dares.”

“The truth is” Todoroki let his hand fall into Bakugou’s leg “if I really could go back in time, I’d go back to when we were still together.” 

“No. You don’t.” Bakugou put distance between them “You said I was the problem. Too preoccupied with my career, too self-absorbed, too unable to care for someone else.”

“I did. But you’ve changed.” 

“But we didn’t. You keep doing the same things like I’m a fucking pet. Buying me clothes, answering for me. 

“I was trying to help.”

“I don’t need you to protect me, asshole.”

“I see it now. If you want the truth, I want us to be more than friends, Katsuki.”  

And Bakugou didn’t stop him when he closed the distance and pressed his lips against his, pushing him against the fluffy pillows and the soft cushions of the couch.

Chapter Text

Every Christmas, Kirishima woke up to find his family wearing some cheesy matching pajamas and the tree piled up with presents, and they all would have breakfast together and laugh while opening gifts before preparing the Christmas feast. 

This year was different, though. He’s not back home, the tree is lonely in a corner and the apartment feels cold. But at least he will have one present, and he was looking forward to discovering his notebook boy’s name.

But the tree was empty, there was nothing underneath its plastic leaves. 

“Merry Christmas” Kaminari said, appearing in the hallway wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, his eyes still closed. 

Kirishima only hummed while his friend made his way to the couch and threw himself there. 

“No notebook yet?”

“Nah.”

“I’m sure there’s a reason why it’s not here yet…” Kirishima didn’t say anything “Did you had fun at that party?”

Kirishima just sighed, feeling gloomy. He still remained silent, hoping the message that he wanted to be alone would come across his friend.

He stomped into his room, grabbing some clothes from the mess he left the day before. 

He wrapped himself tightly with a cozy jacket and a red scarf, leaving his hair down and soft. But as soon as he stepped out of his building he regretted not grabbing a hat. His ears were freezing. 

He stepped into Taishirou’s place, leaving his boots by the door and throwing his coat anywhere. He found him sitting at his table, having an early lunch. 

“Merry Christmas, Fat.” he said, letting the old nickname slip knowing the man didn’t mind it.

“Ah, Merry Christmas,” he said, pointing to the chair in front of him “Do you want to join me?” 

“Nah, I’m just passing by in case someone left something for me?” he asked hopefully. “A notebook, perhaps?” 

“I haven’t seen our friend since the first time. Why do you ask?”

“I told him to meet. I don’t know if it was too much too soon.”

Taishirou clicked his tongue.

“Have you thought what would you do if he doesn’t meet your expectations?” he asked. 

“You liked him…” 

“Sure. But you have to like him.” he paused “And you have to discover that by yourself.” 

“God, what if I said too much? What if I scared him off by telling him to meet? What if he forgot to leave the notebook here because he actually doesn’t care?” he twisted a lock of hair in his finger anxiously but before his friend could answer his phone chimed in with a message. He checked right away “My friends want me to join them for drinks at this bar…” he mumbled, more to himself than to Taishirou.

“You should go. Clear your head a little” he said, laughing his thunderous laugh. 

“What if the notebook comes?” he pouted but Taishirou dismissed him with a hand.

“I’ll bring it over faster than you can google Bakugou”

“What?” Kirishima asked, confused.

“What?!” Taishirou got up quickly and shoved him to the door, handing him his coat and shoes “Have fun with your friends” he said before slamming the door on his face and leaving him in the cold hallway barefoot. 

He put on his shoes on the elevator and made his way across the streets to the bar his friends told him. He was excited to get his mind off things for a little, and he could use a drink even if it wasn’t past noon yet. 

He tried not to think much about his friend’s words, but eventually, they came to mind. He knew that name from somewhere, he had heard it before, but he couldn’t quite place from where. Until memories from the party came crashing down on him. 

“Fuck” he said, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk and ignoring someone that almost collided with him and gave him the stink eye. “Fuck! Oh, no.” 

He fumbled with his phone, almost dropping it onto the floor but saving it on time. He typed away like his life was pending on it until the screen showed him his call waiting to be picked up. 

“Ashido!” he almost shouted when the familiar voice picked up. 

“Eijirou? How did you get my number?”

“You have it listed on your shop’s Instagram. Listen, this is an emergency. It’s about Bakugou.”}

“God, did he told you his name?” she squeaked on the other side. But when she heard the silence coming from Kirishima she sighed “He didn’t, I just did.”

“Please, tell me. Was he at a party last night, in this Utsushimie girl’s place?”

“Isn’t this against the rules, Eijirou? I can’t-” 

“Ashido” he pleaded “If it was him, he left the party with his ex.”

“He what ?”

“Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me I mistook him for another person.” 

“I’m sorry…” she said, but Kirishima couldn’t listen to it anymore and ended the call. She didn’t try to call him again.

Kirishima barged into the bar and located Mirio and Tamaki near the back. They were drinking some of those weird-looking seasonal drinks. He stood beside their table and before they could open their mouths he grabbed the glass closer to him and drank it in one go. 

“Notebook boy has a boyfriend and he was keeping it from me.” he said, crumbling into a seat next to Tamaki. 

“Oh, boy,” Mirio said, “I’ll get you another peppermint schnapps.” 

After a few drinks, his tongue was loosed and his friends’ frowns were more pronounced.

“His boyfriend is perfect. And so is he. Snarky, funny, cute, he was everything I wanted him to be. And we connected, guys, but then he left with him. And I couldn’t even get a kiss from my own date.” he said miserably, feeling the alcohol on his head already. 

“You should tell him how you feel.” Mirio said, his speech slightly slurred since he had been drinking from earlier. 

“I should,” he said, taking his phone off his pocket and almost letting it slip to the floor. He opened his last chain of texts and wrote, mumbling the words out loud “I wanted you to kiss me last night! You should have kissed me. And share the location.” 

“You sure about that?” Tamaki asked, looking apprehensively at his phone. 

“It’s done” Kirishima shrugged. 

And they had a toast like it was something to celebrate. To Kirishima, though, it felt right. His heartbreak was something he wanted to commemorate. 

He got up to order another round at the bar when someone ran into him, grabbing him by the arms to help him keep steady. 

He saw a blur of blond hair and bright eyes and his breath hitched in his lungs. For a second, before his gaze could focus properly, he thought Bakugou had arrived for him, to take him out of that place to have a proper Christmas date. 

But then the spell broke. And in front of him was Monoma in the flesh.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, confused.

“You texted me.” Monoma showed him his text and in fact, it was there. 

“Did I?” he asked himself, but no one replied. 

Monoma ordered him another drink and they both sat in the bar, sipping from their straws in silence until Kirishima felt the alcohol buzzing his mind again. 

“Why didn’t you kiss me?” he blurted out, self restrain going over the board. 

“I wanted to. But you seemed out of it by the time you left. I thought it was the best leaving you for the night” Monoma said, and even though Kirishima wasn’t on his right mind, he felt endeared, sort of speak. In daylight, Monoma seemed a lot kinder than during nighttime. 

Monoma smiled at him and he bought from behind his back a leafy thing that Kirishima’s drunk brain took a moment to process. 

“Mistletoe?” he asked dumbly. 

“Yeah, I stole it from outside.”

“Oh.”

Before Kirishima could even think of something smart to say, Monoma was crowding him right there in the middle of a bar on Christmas day with his friends not so far and people staring at them. He instinctively leaned back, but the stool didn’t have a backrest and if not for Monoma’s sober reflexes he would have ended up flat on the floor. But the blond grabbed him by the waist and took advantage of the smooth movement, leaning forward as well and kissing him. 

Kirishima’s brain shortcircuited, and before he knew, he was kissing back, grabbing Monoma by the collar of his shirt and getting him closer to his chest. 

Bakugou opened the bar’s door with his shoulder, his hands already full with the notebook and a crimson leather jacket. His eyes wandered across the place, his eyes were drawn to a familiar head of red hair that was unmistakable in the crowd, even in a sea of red Christmas decorations and allegory clothes. He couldn’t tell how, but he did know exactly who his notebook boy was in the crowd.

And his heart fell to his feet when he saw Eijirou kissing that asshole Monoma like there was no tomorrow.

“Ei!” he shouted, letting himself be heard even above the loud music.

Kirishima let go of his companion and looked at him. His eyes were dazed and his cheeks flushed. And when he looked at him, he seemed in pain.

But Bakugou had to lead a difficult path to get to that bar. Starting on Christmas Eve, more specifically, on Todoroki's couch.

He pushed the other guy away from him, and Todoroki opened his eyes to look at him. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly, in a voice Bakugou was sure not many people had heard besides him.

“Doesn’t feel right.” he incorporated and took another sip of his glass “I’m just thinking about him.” 

Todoroki sighed and threw himself against the back of the couch. 

“This was a disappointing time travel,” he said and chuckled. Bakugou felt like laughing as well. 

“I don’t wanna do this shit again. And I don’t think you do, either.” 

“I think… you are comfortable. Familiar, to me, in these times where everything feels so unsure” Todoroki confessed. “And you changed. But not for me.” 

“I guess this is it.” Bakugou said. He got up to leave but Todoroki grabbed him by the wrist. 

“It’s late. Sleep here. You’ll found how comfortable this couch is.” 

Bakugou considered it and decided he didn’t want to go through all the trouble of getting himself home, so he did. 

But, for the first time since he was in high school, probably, he forgot to set an alarm. So when Todoroki emerged from his room looking disheveled and his hair a mess, he found him frantically running around the place gathering all his belongings. 

“Forgot to leave the fucking book for Eijirou,” he said as all explanation.

“If what you said is true, he deserves more than a notebook.” Todoroki said, before opening the door for him “Take it as advice from a friend.” 

But his advice was useless since he didn’t even know where he could find him. He was exiting the building when a notification made him check his phone. It was from Twitter, even though he rarely used it. 

Someone had tagged him in Ashido’s tweet, a picture of himself wearing Eijirou’s lost jacket. It had hundreds of retweets, everyone looking for its original owner. And finally, someone with the ridiculous Tetsu4 display name had replied with useful information. “That’s my friend Kiri!” he said, attaching a photo of the guy’s Instagram. A screenshot of a story where he tagged a bar and showed a disgusting looking drink. 

“Fuck” he whispered, in awe. 

He started running, knowing the place wasn’t that far away, but he stopped abruptly when he passed by the theater. And in a split second, he took a chance. 

“Hey,” he said to the guy manning the counter “Two tickets for that animated movie, you know which one.” he demanded, not even sure what was the name of the movie anymore. 

And just like that, he was out of the place, running again. It seemed like an ongoing theme, running through the city trying to find Eijirou. He felt the cold breeze sharp against his eyes, making him tear a little. And then he couldn’t help but laugh, crazy and feral. It had to be a Christmas miracle, to find the guy at the perfect time. He fucking believed now, he guessed. Mina was going to freak out when he’d tell her. 

Until he found him, indeed, kissing another guy. An idiot, nonetheless. 

“How did you found me?” he asked, letting go of Monoma’s clothes.

“Fuck, you are the guy from the party.” he said, dumbstruck. “And you are with him. Right. How fucking long has this been going on?”

The redhead scoffed.

“As you didn’t kiss that Todoroki guy.” he said, annoyed. 

“Wait. Kirishima, do you know Bakugou?” Monoma interrupted, but neither of them replied until a few beats passed. 

“I fucking thought so.” Bakugou snarled. 

Kirishima steadied himself against the bar and closed his eyes for a second.

“Are you alright?” he asked, almost against his will. 

“I don’t feel so good.” 

“How much have you drank, you idiot?” 

Kirishima snorted a humorless laugh.

“A lot.”

“Don't worry, Blasty, I'll take him home.” 

“Call me that again and see what happens.” Bakugou snarled. 

“I'll take care of it.” Monomaʼs whole expression changed, seemingly he was running out of patience.

“Fuck, where's my jacket?” the redhead looked lost and small despite his size. He probably spent all his free time at the gym, besides writing in the notebook. 

Kirishima left for the back of the bar where two guys handed him a jacket. 

“I said I'll do it unless you wanna step out and have a go now?” Bakugou threatened and Monoma rolled his eyes so hard they seemed to be trapped inside his skull forever. 

Kirishima returned putting on his jacket with a little difficulty and pouting a little. Bakugou’s frown increased but he would not admit that a grown-ass man looked cute with such an expression on his face. 

“I’ll call you later, Kiri.” Monoma kissed his cheek before leaving the place. Bakugou snorted annoyed while Kirishima waved at the blond looking confused. 

Bakugou grabbed him by the arm, and if he was careful when he did it so he would not hurt Kirishima it was his business and no one else’s. He stopped a cab and shoved him in the backseat, sliding in after him.

The ride was unbearably awkward, Kirishima was looking out the window at the city and its buildings passing by. But Bakugou couldn’t contain it in himself anymore. 

“Of all fucking people” he spat “it had to be fucking Monoma Neito. Whatever the hell do you even see in him?”

Kirishima let a few beats pass and didn’t even look at him when he spoke. It was like he was alone in that car. 

“He’s easy to be with,” he whispered. “He’s fun.”

He didn’t look like he was having fun.

“You mean he is not an asshole like me.” he said, masking his hurt with anger.

“I don’t know anything about you.” then he turned back and finally looked at him, those huge red eyes filled with hurt “Except that you lied. You spent the night with a stupidly amazing and unfairly gorgeous guy.” 

The silence was packed, they could almost touch it. Bakugou opened his mouth to reply but Kirishima scoffed. 

“You were wearing those clothes last night. I’m not stupid, contrarily of what you may think of me.”

“I don’t think you are stupid.” Bakugou increased the volume of his voice but the driver cleared his throat. He inhaled and exhaled a few times to keep himself in line “We broke up a year ago, last night I just affirmed that we are not getting back together.” 

“Then why didn’t you tell me you were seeing him?” Kirishima asked, his voice hanging by a threat, barely perceptible. 

Bakugou didn’t have an answer for that. So he said nothing.

“I wish I could believe you.” Kirishima said before looking back through the window. Bakugou could see his reflection on the glass. He hoped his eyes looked watery because of the weather. 

“I’m not with Monoma, either, if you have to know. It was just a kiss. Didn’t mean anything to me.” he whispered. 

“So” Bakugou couldn’t help but lash out, even when he knew better “you kissing a lot of meaningless guys, huh?”

“I wanted to be you, fucking idiot!” Kirishima said, raising his voice “But you weren’t there, and the notebook wasn’t under my tree as you said!”

“I’m sorry I was fucking late, do you have so little faith in me?” he asked, anger letting way to desolation.

“You are an ass, you don’t think about other people’s feelings. You don’t know how I feel.”

“I thought I did, I thought that was why we had the notebook.” Bakugou grabbed Kirishima’s arm and he looked at him. His eyes were full of tears that didn’t make their way through his cheeks yet.

“I guess we both kept secrets from each other. That stupid notebook wasn’t even my idea. It was my stupid roommate’s.” he spat. “You are nothing like Ashido said. She said you were nicer.” 

“You met her?” Bakugou asked, but Kirishima just yanked back his arm and wrapped himself tighter on his coat before closing his eyes and ending the conversation.

He stared at the back of the front seat for a second before remembering he had the notebook at hand, so he grabbed a pen from his pocket and started writing in it. 

Ei, so we set ourselves up for disappointment. 

Bakugou rang Taishirou’s doorbell and Kirishima entered his friend’s place without even saying anything. The blond gave the man a brief explanation and Taishirou looked concerned. 

“Thank you for bringing him here, I don’t think there’s anyone at his place right now. I would like to say this isn’t like him, but I’ve seen my fair share of wasted Eijirou.” he laughed. 

“It’s whatever,” he mumbled, handing him the leather jacket he had carried along. 

“Don’t you want anything to eat? I’m sure when he sobers up he’ll-”

“I’m just gonna go. This was dumb.” he turned for the elevator but Taishirou’s voice bought him back. 

“You don’t want to give up when the game gets interesting.” 

He pushed the call button and smiled sadly. 

“I don’t wanna play games anymore.” he said before leaving. 

Kirishima threw himself face-first on the couch, his socked feet dangling over the armrest. He could hear a hushed conversation going at the door but he didn’t even try to pick up what was being said, even if he knew it was about him. He was so tired.

Fatgum bought him a hot cup of tea and placed it on the coffee table. It was steaming and Kirishima opened one eye to look at it. 

“I hope you learned your lesson.”

“Yeah. Don’t drink anything too sweet because the alcohol can and will sneak on you.” his voice came out muffled for the fabric. 

Taishirou looked like he wanted to reply, but thought better of it. Maybe deciding it was a conversation for future and sober Eijirou. 

“Drink up, then we’ll get you home.” 

It was getting dark by the time they made their way towards his place. It was cold but the snow had stopped for the afternoon so they walked slowly and talked about nothing at all. It was nice, it took his mind off things. 

When he turned the key he heard Kaminari loudly shushing someone and thought that he had made peace with Shinsou already. If that was the case he didn’t want to know why he was shushing him, but he opened the door at his own risk. 

Inside the tree was light up and twinkling cheerily, and he had a whole welcoming committee waiting for him. 

His parents and his brother were standing in the middle of his living room, and Kaminari and Shinsou were there too. All smiling at him. All looking at him with love. 

He thought he would cry, that the feeling at the back of his throat was all the unshed tears. But it turned out to be nausea so instead of greeting and hugging he ran to the bathroom to throw up.

Ashido opened her door wearing a crooked Santa hat on her pink curls, her eye makeup dark and glittery. Her parents were setting dinner on the living room table and her mom waved at him.

Bakugou handed her a neatly wrapped box with a giant pink bow on top. She gasped delightedly. 

“Come in, I’ll bring you yours,” she said, but before she could even take a step, he cut her off.

“Why didn’t you tell me you met Eijirou?” he asked.

“I was trying to help.” she said, her voice tiny.

“You didn’t help shit.” Bakugou snarled and she winced. “Now everything is ruined.”

“Honey, what hap-”

“What else are you lying me about?” he asked, his voice rising. He could hear her parents whispering in the back. 

“Don’t be like that. You know I would do anything for you. Listen, come on in, we have that spicy wine you love and we can talk about it.” 

“Fuck you.” he said. No anger, just defeat. And headed towards the elevator. 

“I was looking after you!” she shouted, concern dripping from her voice.

“Don’t. I can look up for myself.” he declared before disappearing. 

Kirishima was laying on his bed, the mess of clothes from the day before scattered through the floor. He was looking at the ceiling like it had all the answers he needed. But it didn’t. 

There was a soft knock on his door and his mom peaked inside, smiling at him before letting herself in. 

“Hi, honey,” she said, bringing a glass of a weird concoction, her secret recipe for hangovers. Then she moved around the room, picking up clothing items and miscellaneous junk from the floor.

“Hey, ma.” he replied, voice almost devoid of life.

“Denki filled me in a little about your love life.” she said, sitting at the edge of the bed, encouraging him to drink. 

Kirishima sighed before sitting up and taking a sip. It wasn't horrible but neither was nice. 

“It’s a disaster.” he said miserably. She chuckled, bringing a strand of dark hair behind her ear. 

“It sounds like it is right now. But you are a wonderful handsome boy. You are the most amazing person I know, and you’ll be fine.” 

“How could you possibly know that?” he whispered. 

“I made you.” she said as an answer, before scooching in and laying beside him. He rested his head on her shoulder.

“As a second Christmas present, Dad and I got you a ticket plane. So we can all go back home for the New Year. I think it would be good for you, change the scenery a little. Think about your next step.”

She kissed the top of his head and he smiled. 

“Sounds good.” 

“Drink that and rest for a little. We’ll have dinner later.” 

Then he was left alone, again, looking at the glass like it had all the answers. 

And then he noticed that potion wasn’t the only thing his mom had left. It was the notebook, just beside his leg, a page signaled. And maybe that did had the answers he needed. 

Ei, so we set ourselves up for disappointment. We were never gonna be the person in each other’s head. That fantasy was short-lived and there’s no such thing as a fucking Christmas miracle. And it’s not your fault, it’s mine for being an idiot and believing. Thanks for playing the game with me. It was fun, for a while. But in games, someone has to lose. And we both fucking did. And I hate losing. 

So, game over. We shouldn’t see each other again. I don’t want to. Let’s just move on or whatever. 

Bakugou tired himself of being alone in his too wide, too quiet apartment so he grabbed his coat and walked. He had no destination in mind, just trying to clear his thoughts so he wouldn’t end up setting something on fire. The cold weather burned his cheeks and froze his ears, making him wrap himself more tightly in his scarf. 

Without noticing, he found himself at the theater. He checked his watch and searched in his coat pockets, finding the tickets he bought earlier. At least it wouldn’t go to waste, he thought before forming in line. 

The movie was overall not bad, but he felt dumb watching a kid’s movie alone on Christmas. But even if he did, when that line came out on the screen, saying to the protagonist and the audience and especially him, that they should be bold, he looked at the empty seat beside him and wondered. 

Merry Christmas, Ei. Goodbye.

Chapter Text

Bakugou looked again in between the same books. He knew by heart how their spines curled where they were damaged and a spot in one of them where the ink wasn’t printed correctly. But what he was looking for wasn’t there. There was no red velvety spine. 

“ Pss ” Bakugou turned around to see the guy from the front door, the one that had avoided his eyes every time he saw him. He handed him the notebook without any other word and left, quietly as he had come.

The book was signaled almost by the end, and he found a new message there, in red ink and familiar handwriting. But his heart leaped inside his chest for the wrong reasons.  

Dear Katsuki, I can finally say this because I now know your name. A week ago that sounded so important and it’s funny how things change. I thought we were going to meet and have a full-on cheesy rom-com kind of romance. I thought there was magic. But now it’s New Year’s Eve and at midnight I’m getting on a plane to my parents’ place. I guess I’m trying to moving on, I’m gonna stay there for a while. Do some thinking. You said we’d never work out, and you were right. But it was nice to believe in this for a while. Thank you, for that. 

“Man, I can’t believe you are leaving me tonight.” Kaminari took a huge bite of a colorful donut.

“You sure seem very said.” Kirishima snorted, not eating his. 

Kaminari noticed but didn’t say anything, chewing thoughtfully instead. 

“Wanna talk about it?” he finally said.

“It was a disaster, Kami, I was drunk and kissing this asshole I don’t even like and then he came and told me it was over. But I’m fine. I’m ready for a new start or whatever.” he said, this time taking a bite out of his donut. 

“I know you will be.” Kaminari smiled at him, his mouth covered in crumbs and powdered sugar, and Kirishima smiled back. “What’s your plan?” 

“Probably chill for a while. Maybe ask my boss for a transfer to the department there, look for my own place, and hopefully save up to finally open my own gym,” he replied.

“Big plans, you have.” Kaminari said before patting his shoulder and squeezing. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’ll visit often, plus you and Shinsou will finally have the place for yourselves.” he laughed while Kaminari stuck his tongue out. 

Bakugou sat in his living room in silence for a few seconds, the clock on the wall ticking. Then he made a decision and grabbed his phone from the coffee table. 

He opened Instagram, thankful for not deleting the app before, and searched Ashido’s name. Her account was very carefully curated and color-coded, but he ignored it to check her most recent stories. She had a bunch of selfies and a few food snaps, and then…

“You have to be fucking kidding me.” Bakugou snarled.

Her stories were tagged at an open air venue where a bunch of bands was playing in a holiday concert. 

He grabbed his jacket while mumbling insults still and was soon out of the door. 

The place was packed, but at least that kept the cold at arm’s length. He sighed anyway when the muddy snow on the ground messed his shoes, but he had made a decision and he was committing to it. And for that he needed Ashido. 

It took him a while to find her in the ocean of people, her telling hair covered by a hat. 

“Hey, pinky!” he shouted, struggling to make himself heard above the band playing. 

She did look at him, and her demeanor immediately changed. She pursed her lips and tried to move away from him.

“Fucking seriously?” he asked, but he was able to get to her anyway since it was difficult to move around. 

“I’m not talking to you, asshole.” she told him, trying to leave again. 

“Wait the fuck up!”

“No! I know you are a proud idiot and that you tell yourself that you don’t need anybody. But that doesn’t give you the right to treat everyone around you like shit.” 

“You are right, and I’m sorry Mina.” he said, looking at the ground, unable to look at her.

For a second she only stood there.

“You what now?” 

“You heard.” he grumbled, but he figured she deserved more “I know you were just trying to cover my ass because I’m a prick. I’m done pushing everyone away. 

“You think I’m just gonna forgive you?” she said, but her voice was wet and Bakugou risked a look at her. She was smiling.

“Well, I came to a fucking concert for you.” 

“Yeah, you did.” she said before getting him in a hug that he did not hate as much as he thought he would. “Come along, everyone is in the bar area looking for drinks.” 

She took him by the hand and dragged him along to a more quiet area, away from the stage.

“Who’s everyone?” he asked, wary, but soon he found out. 

Jirou and Yaoyorozu were waiting in line for their drinks at the counter, and Utsushimie and Todoroki were sitting at a table near them. 

“Wait.” he stopped in his tracks before they saw them and she tripped on her own feet. “I need to talk to you about Eijirou. I need help.” 

“Honey.” she grabbed his face in her hands and looked at him like he was the dumbest person she had ever seen “No more pushing away, you said. Let us all help.” 

He took a deep breath and finally sighed, nodding and let her take him by the hand. 

“I thought we weren’t on speaking terms with Bakubabe.” Utsushimie said applying some lipgloss while using her phone as a mirror.

“Hey.” Jirou and Momo arrived with trays full of drinks “Are you done with being an asshole?” 

“I would say he had enough punishment already.” Todoroki smiled at him and sent a pointed look at the notebook in his hands. 

“He says he’s gonna spend some time with his parents, and he’s flying tonight at midnight. What the hell should I do?”

“Maybe leaving him alone?” everyone turned around to look at Utsushimie, she only shrugged “If it was me I wouldn’t want to see you again.”

“No. He said he stopped believing and I know that’s not like him-”

“Maybe you don’t know him.” Todoroki interrupted “Maybe that’s just the perfect idea you have of him.”

“If he stopped believing in whatever fuckery about Christmas he used to, that’s on me.” Bakugou said, pressing one finger on the table with too much force “And I need to fix it.”

“So, it’s about making yourself feel better.” Jirou said, and Bakugou scoffed.

“Why are you piling against me? What the fuck should I say? That I can’t stop thinking about him? That I’m in love with him?” he said raising his voice, and no one said anything. “If he leaves tonight and I don’t see him I lose my chance to tell him.” 

“Honey, go find him.” Ashido said, grabbing his hand in that reassuring way she always had.

“I did that already on Christmas, it made everything worse.” he grumbled. 

“That’s because you don’t have to go to him as whatever idea you have of a Prince Charming. He doesn’t need you to save him.” Todoroki said, taking a sip of his coffee “You need to go to him as yourself. Show him the vulnerability he helped you find.”

Everyone sat there in silence, looking at Todoroki with their jaws slightly open until Bakugou snapped his fingers.

“That’s it. Are you gonna help me or what?” he said, getting up.

Kaminari hugged Kirishima like he was trying to break his ribs while Shinsou helped his family pile their suitcases on the truck of the car.

“I’m gonna miss you.” he said.

“I’ll visit you soon. I still have half my things here.”

“I know. Please take that muppet with you next time, I feel like he is staring at my soul.” 

Kirishima chuckled before letting go. He hugged Shinsou as well, and then opened the car door, giving the building the last look while his friends made their way to the entrance door. 

“Kiri, wait!” Kaminari called just before he hopped on the car.

“What?” he peeked above the roof but Kaminari was just standing on the stairs. 

“Uh, nothing. Happy New Year!” he waved and Kirishima waved back, before finally entering the car.

“I need to close up the place.” Sero said, a sorry look in his dark eyes. 

“Give me a few more minutes.” Sero looked at the clock in the wall and Bakugou was growing desperate “I’ll fucking organize the whole place if you let me stay.”

“He’s not coming.” he whispered before disappearing again to the back room.  

Bakugou stood there, the lights deemed, alone except for the dusty smell of paper. 

“Kirishima, fuck! I thought it was too late!”

Kirishima winced when he heard Kaminari screaming in his ear.

“What the hell, Denki?” he replied. The traffic to the airport was a nightmare and the car was still. 

“You have to hear this, man.” The line clacked with the sound of static and paper, and then Kaminari started reading out loud.

Hey, Ei. So I’m not the guy in your head, and you're not the one in mine. But I still think I know you better than most. I know you are smart. I know you are brave because you don’t let fear paralyze you. We both had dumb expectations, but we still shared something real. The person I see when I look at you is the same in the book, and it’s the guy I’ve been falling in love with for a while now. And if it’s not too late, I’ll be waiting where it all began. 

Kirishima wasn’t even sure if he hanged up on Kaminari or if he did, he was barely aware of the fact that he was still gripping his phone in his hand when he threw himself out of the car. He could hear his parents calling for him in the mess of cabs but he paid no mind. He just ran across the sea of still cars, his breath making clouds in front of him. He could have laughed if he wasn’t so preoccupied with getting there . 

He almost collided against the glass door of the bookshop, but when he tried to open it, it didn’t budge. It was closed. 

“No, no, no.” he said, his voice tiny, trying to open the door even when he knew, he knew…

“Here, honey.” a familiar voice said behind him. 

Ashido was smiling at him, her eyes sparkling, when she handed him the keys. But before he could even thank her, she left. 

The book store was dark and it had just one light on in the back. The shadows stretched in odd angles but Kirishima made his way to the backroom, the light peeking under the door. 

Inside, it looked like Christmas had barfed all over the place. There were lights and decorations and a tree. He had been there before, hanging out with Sero, but he never saw it like that. The lights twinkled giving it an ethereal feeling, and even the old couch had soft-looking cushions with Christmas motives. The small coffee table was fully stocked with food, and he recognized those cookies, and the Ashido’s paper cups with coffee to go. There was something of the places they had been together, because yeah they shared all those moments.

And standing behind the table was Bakugou. Tall and handsome, wearing a dark sweater that made his hair look even paler, and his eyes even redder. He looked nervous, and he stared at him like he didn’t think he would arrive. Or more like he didn’t know if he was going to stay.

“How…?” Kirishima asked, without even finding any more words. But Bakugou, as always, understood.

“I had a lot of help. Apparently, I have friends even when I’m a jerk.” 

Kirishima chuckled, looking at the decorations again. 

“Listen, Ei-” 

“No, stop. Let me.” he interrupted, and finally looked at him. Really looked at him. “I want to tell you how I feel, but I got so used to talking to a book that saying it out loud seems weird. And I have been in love before, but how could I compare anything to this? Katsuki, I-” 

Kirishima stopped. Bakugou was looking at him, open and wide-eyed, his eyebrows furrowed in focus like he didn’t want to miss not even a second. He sighed and closed the last distance between them, finally.

Bakugou had his hands in his pockets, but when Kirishima was close enough he took them off. He was indecisive, so he let his hands hover over the air near Kirishima’s waist until the redhead grabbed his face with two hands. 

He caressed his cheek with a thumb and smiled before finally, finally kissing him. 

And it was better than he thought it could be. It was shy and clumsy but also magical and it lit up sparkles everywhere, especially where Bakugou’s hands made contact with him.

The kiss didn’t last more than thirty seconds, and Kirishima rested his forehead on Bakugou’s shoulder. 

“What was that for?” the blond said in a whisper.

“It felt right.” he replied. They both chuckled and Bakugou got him even closer, holding him tighter. 

But then he pushed him away, trying to preserve the feeling of warm arms in his memory forever.

“I have to leave.” he said. “My plane-” His phone started buzzing and he took it out of his pocket, without actually breaking away from Bakugou. “My parents.” 

“Aren’t you picking up?” 

“I should probably apologize in person. For making them miss the flight, and because I don’t think I’m going home with them.” 

“You want to stay?”

“Yeah, maybe there’s still something new in this city worth exploring, don’t you think?” 

“You are a dumbass” Bakugou said, but his smile told a different story before he got close again and kissed him a second time.

The sound of fireworks outside startled them, but they still didn’t let go of each other. 

“I can apologize later. Meanwhile, all this food can’t go to waste.” 

Kirishima’s toothy grin was like a beacon of light and it tugged at Bakugou’s heartstrings. 

“Happy New Year, Ei.” he said, resting his forehead in Kirishima’s before closing his eyes. 

“Yeah. Happy New Year.”