Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ethan was glad he’d chosen the comfortable position of laying in bed, Kristina’s chestnut hair spilling across his abs and down onto the comforter, to manage the hundreds of business emails populating his inbox. He was hyper focused, completely unfazed by the reel she was watching on Instagram, successfully tuning out Grayson’s calisthenics-induced grunting just outside the window. Ethan was all for fun and relaxation, but work time was work time, and he had a responsibility to maintain this aspect of their business. He was just about to begin deleting emails when he saw it and his eyes widened without his permission. His fingers shook as he tapped the message open and held his breath to read.

“YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!! Holy fucking shit, finally!!!”

Ethan couldn’t stop laughing and yelling happily as Kristina frowned at him in confusion having been forced out of her relaxing position.

“We’re approved! We’re officially dual citizens,” he yelled as he stared at her in pure joy. Kristina’s hands went to her face to cover her shock, evident by how far her jaw had dropped. Tears welled in her eyes and she whispered, “Shut the fuck up, Ethan - are you serious?” Ethan laughed at the cuteness of her accent despite the profanity, then wrapped her in his arms as he tried not to cry.

He needed this good news more than he could explain after the year they’d had. They were just a week away from their 21st birthday and this was the best birthday present imaginable. He had to tell Gray.

“Can you call Adell? There’s so much to do!” Ethan pecked Kristina on the lips quickly as he ran off to deliver the good news. As he stepped outside, he imagined Gray’s loud laugh in his ear and the bear hug he would inevitably crush Ethan in at hearing that they were clear to return to one of their favorite places on earth. He couldn’t wait to see his twin’s eyes light up, and talk about all the things they would do when they arrived. Ethan felt so light as he rounded the corner and spotted Grayson mid-pull-up.

“Gray, you won’t believe this,” he smiled easily. Grayson returned his smile as he let go of the bar and shook out his arms.

“What’s up, bro?” Grayson’s smile grew wider when he noticed Ethan’s excitement.

“Dude, we are officially dual citizens of Australia!” Ethan’s voice had gotten louder with each word until he was yelling and grasping the back of Grayson’s head with his right hand, his shoulder with his left hand, by the end of his sentence.

Grayson’s jaw dropped as his eyes shot open and he mirrored Ethan’s grasp. A happy squeal escaped his open mouth as he stared at Ethan before falling into a tight hug and laughing in his ear. Grayson’s reaction wasn’t as animated as Ethan had expected, but he figured Grayson was just shocked and happy. They held onto each other laughing for a bit longer before Ethan released Grayson and took a small step back.

“Bro, we have so much to do! Do you think we should ship the podcast table? Shit, we need to figure out where we’ll live! Are we buying or renting? Wait, maybe we should build. Damn dude, how will we run our Wakeheart meetings with the time difference and...”

As Ethan’s thoughts and words continued at a mile a minute, Grayson stood there smiling serenely at him, his hands in his pockets. It took a few more unanswered questions for Ethan to realize that his twin and best friend was not responding. Ethan stopped mid-sentence and really looked at Grayson for a moment.

“You good, dude?” Ethan asked.

“Yeah, man, this is incredible. I’m so happy this happened. I know we will figure all of this out, bro,” Grayson said quietly, his smile beginning to look a bit sad, “but I’m not going with you.”

Chapter Text

Grayson’s calves and toes screamed in protest as he continued to hold the awkward, somewhat painful position on the holds. Mild worry about his aching muscles giving out on him was like a dull throb in the back of his mind; nothing could overpower the memory of the heartbreaking interaction he’d had with Ethan almost a week ago. No matter what he did as a distraction, how many rock walls he scaled, he knew there wasn’t a single thing in his world that could hold his attention like Ethan, especially in those rare instances when Grayson caused Ethan to experience emotional pain.

Despite their plan to move to Australia for the next year, he knew the exact second that Ethan understood how serious Grayson was about remaining in the States, and that fraction of time played nonstop on Grayson’s mental loop. Grayson wasn’t sure someone else would’ve recognized the progression of emotions he’d witnessed dancing across Ethan’s face - surprise, fury, disappointment, fear, sadness, then resignation - but Grayson knew. He also knew when Ethan slid on the stoic mask that had remained in place over the last week he’d spent finalizing his moving plans, a mask that was barely hiding the false composure and underlying resentment that Grayson knew his decision had caused in his brother.

But Grayson was hardly in a position to judge. He was lying, too; just wearing a different mask for a different purpose. Sure, it was for the best...but nothing could ever make it easy, not when the way he felt was incomparable and damn-near all-consuming. Grayson pushed those thoughts aside as he dangled from the top of the artificial rock face with the middle fingers of his left hand before securing his right and hoisting all of his weight over the edge using his considerable upper body strength. He took a moment to admire the blisters forming on his palms, dusted lightly with chalk. His eyes moved from his palms to scan the gym space, which was nearly empty, thanks to Covid. He felt his cell phone go off in his pocket and hoped it would be Ethan.

“Hey, Cam,” Grayson said through the mask material as he answered his sister’s FaceTime.

“Hey, did you check out the final edit on the new prints? I need one of you to ok it before we can talk to production,” she said as she sat partially obscured by her laptop.

“I’m good with the final edit, so let’s take it to production,” Grayson said.

Cameron took her eyes off of her laptop screen to scrutinize Grayson. “Okay,” she said after a beat, “do you want to wait for Ethan?”

Grayson didn’t hesitate. He knew he had to start getting used to this, to leading. “No, we’re good, Cam. Let’s talk once you’ve heard from them, cool?” Grayson managed to keep his voice even.

“Sure thing, I’ll be in touch,” she said.

“Thanks, Cam - love ya,” said Gray.

“Bye, love you too,” Cameron replied, already distracted by her laptop before she hung up. Grayson followed suit as he headed to the door.

He was anxious to get home and sit in his shower, let the water pound against his skin while he breathed in the steam. He closed his car door, removed his face mask, and breathed deeply as he observed his reflection in the rear view mirror. This year had been permeated with change, good and bad, yet here he was setting himself up to endure the biggest change of his life since his father’s passing. Grayson was willingly giving up his twin, the person who’d mattered more to him than anyone and anything else for the last twenty-one years (almost) of his life.

Grayson thought back to the conversation and every one of the half-truths he’d told Ethan...

“Grayson. Why the fuck are you doing this to us?” Grayson could tell that Ethan had been furious with him.

“It’s time, bro. You and Kristina deserve to have a relationship that’s not constantly interrupted by a third wheel, and you and me both deserve more than our co-dependency. It’s unhealthy, dude, you know it,” Grayson had finished.

Half-truths. The whole truth was that Grayson didn’t believe he could handle one more day of seeing Ethan and Kristina being all up under each other. The whole truth was that Grayson just couldn’t handle sharing Ethan anymore.

“Unhealthy?! Dude, what the fuck??! This was always the plan. What the hell is up with you, Grayson?” Ethan had started moving from fury and disappointment to fear.

“E, come on. We were kids when we said that shit. We’re grown men now and you know we know better. How could we ever think any wife would be cool with us sharing a property and then building a tunnel connecting our houses so we could hang out? It was just stupid kid talk, E, and you know it,” Grayson had paused, hands still in his pockets.

Another half-truth. The whole truth was that nothing would’ve made Grayson more happy than he and Ethan remaining their own little family, just the two of them. The whole truth was that this was the dream Grayson so wanted to be fulfilled.

The sadness Grayson had witnessed in that moment revealed that it had never been a joke to Ethan either, simply a shared promise he’d intended for them to keep. That Grayson had played it off like it was inconsequential had broken something in Ethan.

“Come on, dude...you found your soulmate. I want a chance to find mine, too,” Grayson had said, shrugging.

The final half-truth. The whole truth was that Ethan had crushed Grayson’s heart the moment he’d begun to refer to Kristina as his soulmate. The whole truth was that Ethan was the owner of a pretty big part of Grayson’s heart and soul, and he didn’t seem to know it. The whole truth was that Grayson had begun to believe that this ownership was reciprocated until Kristina and Ethan had started getting serious. The whole truth was that Grayson was hoping that the chance he was taking would eventually draw him and Ethan back together.

It didn’t seem likely as Ethan had taken to practically ignoring Grayson since the revelation and series of half-truths. Grayson genuinely expected for Ethan to be happy at Grayson’s unselfishness, so this moody, silent reaction of Ethan’s confused Grayson to no end. It led to them failing to spend much time together before their birthday and Ethan and Kristina’s departure.

The state of their relationship hurt Grayson, but he put up a good front. He was helpful with the move, more than pulled his weight in their businesses, and kept a “this is for the best,” good-natured, patient and accepting demeanor when he was around Ethan and Kristina. He saved his tears and Ethan-themed fantasies for the shower.

So he was thankful that when he pulled into their driveway, he would be home alone for a while. As much as he felt the pull to talk to Ethan when he wasn’t with him, Grayson knew he had to get used to the depth of this change in his life.

Grayson stood still and enjoyed the feeling of the scalding water running over every cell of his body. He inhaled the thick, white mist and appreciated the warmth he found in it. Here, he was safe. He let his urges overtake him and his fantasies run wild as he moved his hand to circle the base of his dick.

Eyes closed, he imagined a hand just like his stroking him slowly and surely to climax. He could feel the ghost of an identical torso pressed against his back, imagined a hard cock against his ass as he rubbed the sensitive head of his lengthy member. Grayson slightly fingered his slit as he licked his lips, lips that he imagined being roughly kissed and forced open to accommodate a hot and roaming tongue much like his own.

As he thought of being kissed, his excitement grew and he pumped his hand faster around his dick. He sent himself over the edge picturing a set of lips trailing from his own to his neck, to his chest, then spreading to reveal teeth that would tug aggressively at the sensitive skin of his nipples. Grayson came and came, breathing hard and leaning back against the wall of the shower.

He kept his eyes closed, knowing how much his head would spin if he opened them prematurely. And then it hit him: the pain in Ethan’s eyes over Grayson’s decision to split them up. Grayson bent over, hands on his knees, and tried to calm himself down, but he was completely overwhelmed. His fantasy had left him physically spent, but his emotions were everywhere, scattered without an anchor. The tears fell so quietly, only interrupted by his effort to breathe in and out deeply. He knew he was about to endure an endless number of days like this. All he could do was hope for strength as he slid down the wall and onto the floor of his luxurious shower, Ethan’s face swimming before his eyes.

Chapter Text

“...babe. Babe? Did you hear me, Ethan?”

Ethan blinked and looked over at Kristina in the passenger seat of his Tesla. There was the tiniest crease between her eyebrows when she frowned at him, and he hated that he’d caused for that crease to appear much more frequently lately.

“What did you say? I’m so sorry, I must’ve zoned out for a second,” Ethan replied as he rested his right hand on her thigh, just above her knee. She crossed her arms and looked out her window, trying to appear unbothered and failing. Ethan put his hand back on the steering wheel and waited for what he knew was coming from his longtime girlfriend.

After a few moments of silence, she started. “Listen, are you sure you want to do this?” Her wide chocolate eyes found his hazel ones again, and while he saw concern there, he could also detect frustration. Shit, he thought. He tried for humor.

“Babe, of course I’m sure about getting everyone breakfast from this place. It’s one of our faves. How could you ask me that,” he stated with mock indignation and fanned his fingers over his sternum dramatically. Kristina’s smile was small as she joined her hands in her lap and looked down at them.

“I’m serious - I would understand if you changed your mind,” she said looking at him with slightly raised eyebrows, clearly seeking an honest response. But Ethan didn’t know how to express the complexity of his honest emotions because his thoughts and feelings were all over the place and it was driving him crazy to not be able to talk about it with anyone.

Of course he wanted this move; he loved Kristina and he loved being in Australia. But he also wanted this with Grayson, the closest friend he’d ever had, the only person whose side he’d stuck by for almost twenty-one years, who was such an integral part of him that he’d dismantled Ethan with his decision to live his life separately.

Ethan didn’t know how to talk about his anger with Grayson for hiding all of what he’d been thinking that led to him changing his mind, as well as his anger with himself for not noticing that Grayson was hiding something so enormous. Ethan was disappointed in Grayson for essentially lying, and disappointed in himself for not noticing that he must’ve pushed Grayson away somehow. It scared Ethan to think of his life without the constant companionship of his thoughtful and affectionate twin, and it scared him, selfishly so, to think of someone taking his place in Grayson’s life when their split would begin.

All of this, on top of how he knew he was upsetting Kristina by constantly being distracted, plus his mom and Cameron coming down to celebrate everything happening in December (dad’s birthday on the 10th, his and Gray’s birthday on the 16th, and Christmas just before his and Kristina’s return to Australia for her birthday on the 30th), had left Ethan feeling emotionally unavailable and unable to cope. Worst of all, his pride wouldn’t let him do what he knew was best: connect with those who loved him and accept their help in navigating this whole ordeal.

But he would have to figure his shit out later. Right now, he had a responsibility to reassure the woman beside him. Ethan pulled into the restaurant parking lot, got out, and went to her side of the car. He opened her door and let her swing her legs out to exit, then stood in between them, gently framing his large hands around her face. He stared into her eyes for a moment before slowly leaning in and beginning to kiss her. Ethan felt her arms slide around his torso as she leaned into the soft, deep kiss, an appreciative little moan starting in her throat. He put about an inch between their lips before whispering, “I’m sure,” against hers. That beautiful smile spread across her face, though it didn’t completely reach her eyes. Ethan smiled back at her anyway as he released her to walk around the back of the Tesla to retrieve his wallet and face mask from the driver’s side. He was careful not to let his smile fall until he was sure she couldn’t see him.

~

The next night, Ethan was grateful that they’d managed to have a fun and light dinner. Cameron and Grayson had cooked, Lisa and Kristina decorated, and Ethan recorded clips as he dabbled between both groups, mostly sticking with his mom and girlfriend. When they were finished, they moved to the fire pit in the back yard to share a mug of vegan hot chocolate and toast the one family member who was physically absent, but there in spirit.

“To Sean,” said Lisa, “I miss you everyday, but I’m so thankful for the love we shared that created our beautiful children.” She smiled as she wiped a tear and looked around at them.

“To Dad,” Cameron said simply, gazing into the fire with glassy eyes.

“I hope I make you proud, Dad,” Grayson whispered, “I love you.” He wiped the streaming tears from his face and smiled at the fire.

“Happy birthday, Dad,” said Ethan, “thank you for who you taught me to be.” He raised his mug and addressed everyone with a smile. “Guys, eyes, you have to look in each other’s eyes,” as he reached his mug toward his mom’s to clink them together, staring into her eyes. He did the same to Cameron and Kristina as the sound of the mugs clinking continued. Finally he reached his mug out to Grayson’s who mirrored him, nodding his head forward and giving Ethan a warm smile. Ethan felt the tears threatening to spill over as he smiled back, but he held them in as they all sipped on the delicious drinks and remembered his incredible father.

~

Almost a week later, Ethan was deep in thought about the conversation he’d had with his mom when he’d dropped her off at the airport that morning. It also happened to be the morning he turned 21, and he suspected that although his mom was happy to join them again for Christmas, she didn’t quite trust their plans for celebrating reaching legal age. She’d decided to head back to Jersey for a week to check on her parents and in-laws and make sure Bloom, her salon, was still thriving.

“Sweetheart, have you thought about how much you’ll regret it if you don’t resolve some of these issues with him before you go?” Ethan was sure that Lisa had obviously noticed the distance between her sons when she’d arrived, but she hadn’t brought it up. Ethan was grateful that she’d waited patiently for him to eventually ask her for advice. She’d reflected that she was proud of Grayson for trying to keep everyone happy before the big move - especially Ethan. She said that she could tell that Ethan was not ready to accept what was becoming inevitable: he and Grayson were truly splitting up. Lisa had explained that if she were being honest with herself, she wasn’t ready to experience this either, but she knew it was necessary for them to continue to grow. A part of her was curious about who they might become without such a heavy influence on one another. When Lisa told Ethan as much, it seemed to strike the right chord in him because he’d tilted his head to the side in contemplation at her closing comment.

“You make a good point. Thanks for listening, ma, I’ll talk to him,” said Ethan with a more confident smile. Ethan wondered if Lisa had noticed that Ethan seemed less sure of himself, and hoped that she could also recognize his confidence returning at his decision to speak to Grayson. She seemed to breathe a little easier before their temporary goodbye.

Cameron and Grayson were still cleaning up from brunch when Ethan returned. He saw how they bumped elbows and chuckled together over the soap suds, moving around the kitchen resetting things. While he was glad to see the smiles on his siblings’ faces, he couldn’t ignore the pang of jealousy he felt at noticing their connection.

“Hey big bro, thanks for dropping mom off,” Grayson smiled easily as he continued scrubbing. Cameron smiled as well, scraping a plate over the trash can. “No problem, thank you guys for cleaning up, even on your birthday, Gray,” Ethan tried to reply just as lightly. “Aw, it’s nothing, just another day - which I am thankful for, but the dishes still need cleaning,” Grayson finished, glancing at Ethan briefly. “Hey, I think Kris has a surprise for you in your room,” Grayson said with a douchey wink. Well, it was more cute than douchey, Ethan thought to himself.

“Uh oh, ok,” Ethan began, “but first...” Ethan walked to Grayson and forced him to face him, turning him away from the sink. “E, what...” Grayson started before his head was pulled down to Ethan’s shoulder, his body pressed against him in a tight hug like the one they’d shared during the filming of their documentary.

“Happy 21st, bro...I love you, Grayson,” Ethan’s muffled voice was a little hard to hear through Grayson’s bulky shoulder. “E...” Grayson wrapped his wet hands around his twin’s body and couldn’t speak, too overcome with emotion. Grayson didn’t think Ethan would ever know how much their embrace helped and harmed him simultaneously. Ethan hadn’t felt this safe and whole in weeks; he didn’t want to let go. They stood locked together, breathing each other in, until they heard the camera click on Cameron’s phone, and slowly turned toward her releasing one another.

“What?” she said simply, sliding her phone into her back pocket and continuing to clean as though nothing had happened.

Ethan laughed as he looked back at Grayson’s face, but drew up short when he saw that Grayson looked dumbstruck. “What the hell is that look for?” Ethan said happily, truly amused at how Grayson seemed to be staring at him in...awe? Ethan just thought Grayson was trying to be funny as Ethan continued to laugh. Grayson finally joined him in laughing as he turned back to the dishes.

“Oh my God,” said Ethan, “this is going to be the best day ever, Gray. What should we do first? Hold up, let me go get Kristina,” Ethan said walking away. He didn’t notice that Grayson’s shoulders had slumped slightly, or that he hadn’t responded to Ethan’s comments about their birthday plans.

“Babe, I’m back,” Ethan said opening their bedroom door. He stopped and took in the scene when he crossed through the doorway. Kristina was dressed and sitting next to an overnight bag on his bed. She smiled up at him and said, “Surprise! Are you ready for a romantic birthday getaway?” She crossed the room and jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly. He hugged her back uncertainly before responding, “Wow, this is so sweet...um...what’s going on?”

“We’re taking a little trip to celebrate your birthday! Turning 21 is a huge deal and you deserve to be pampered, so I’ve booked us a short stay at the best spa in Beverly Hills,” Kristina said smiling, holding him by his shoulders. “Wowwww,” Ethan said again, but more slowly this time. His fingers fidgeted nervously on Kristina’s waist as he continued. “Babe, this is so amazing and thoughtful, thank you so much, I love it,” he rambled. Ethan hugged her again, but a little more tightly this time, then asked haltingly, “But...what about...Grayson?”

Kristina stepped back and looked down with a shy smile. “Honestly, babe, this was his idea. I asked him what he thought of the other gifts I was planning, and he recommended we go. He showed me the place and the package options, and even helped me pay for most of it. I hope that’s okay,” she said, wringing her small hands.

“Aw, of course it is - thank you,” Ethan said, grabbing Kristina and pulling her into another hug. This one was meant to assure her, but he also needed a moment to swallow down the rage that was suddenly boiling in him. Who the actual fuck did Grayson think he was deciding that they weren’t spending their 21st birthday together?! He wanted to march into their kitchen and take his hug back after he knocked his twin out cold with one punch.

“Ugh, I’m so excited! So when do we leave,” Ethan asked Kristina.

“Now - it’s a full two-day thing, so we won’t be back until tomorrow night. Oh my God, I’m so glad you like this surprise, I wasn’t sure how you’d take it,” she shared.

“Well, it worked! I’m shocked and happy, so let’s roll, babe.” Ethan was beginning to worry at how easily the lies came when he was trying to avoid hurting Kristina’s feelings. He grabbed the bag, sure that she’d packed everything they would need, clasped her hand, and headed out with Kristina in tow.

“I really hope y’all have an amazing time,” Cameron said as she hugged Ethan, then Kristina. “You know we will,” Ethan returned with a tight smile, “and what are you guys gonna do?”

Grayson was hugging Kristina now, deliberately avoiding Ethan’s glare. “Tattoos, right?” asked Kristina as she hugged Grayson back. “That’s right,” said Grayson, holding his hand out to Ethan for their secret shake, “then a little gathering at the trampoline place before some special dinner plans tonight.” Ethan stared at Grayson in disbelief, still not shaking his hand.

Grayson’s eyes finally reached Ethan’s as Cameron showed Kristina the cute pic she’d taken of the boys just minutes before. “Well, see ya,” Ethan said, reaching for Grayson. He was so fucking angry, but he felt deflated and sad at the same time. “Hey, have an awesome trip, brotha, I love you too,” Grayson said, finally replying to Ethan’s declaration from earlier.

It amazed Ethan in that moment to look into his twin brother’s eyes and realize that Grayson was feeling his exact emotions: anger and sadness. And yet he was still going through with this bullshit, sending Ethan away on their birthday and making a slew of plans without him. Ethan also realized in that moment that Grayson was becoming too good at hiding shit. It scared him.

They unhooked their hands, each of their faces dropping into a brief frown before they both gifted a smile to the two women in the room as the young couple exited together. Grayson stood in the kitchen, frozen and unmoving, until Cameron bumped her elbow with his and smirked as she asked, “You ready to get yatted?”

Grayson laughed aloud as he swooped his hair out of his sad eyes and yelled, “Fuck yeah!” He was determined to enjoy the day and he hoped in his fractured heart that Ethan did, too.

Chapter Text

Ethan watched the pristine water break in slow motion over the head and shoulders that rose fluidly from it. One moment the otherworldly blue sky was a perfectly symmetrical mirror, and the next, a tan, muscular, tattoo-covered Adonis appeared, soaking wet, running his huge hands through his dark brown hair, looking like a fucking supermodel. Ethan’s hazel eyes hungrily took in the appearance of the beautiful man from bottom to top, stunned by the sexiness of every muscle that flexed and protruded from his calves, thighs, abs, pecs, and arms. When Ethan got to his face, his breath caught, awed by the lopsided grin, dimpled cheeks, and twinkling eyes. Ethan was frozen by love and lust until the man spoke.

“E, the water feels amazing, come on, bro,” Grayson said, reaching out to Ethan and taking him by the hand. He hoisted him up from the sand, laughing out loud, and leading Ethan to the water. Ethan’s legs were like puddy and he felt wobbly and tingly all over at Grayson’s touch. They walked into the water hand in hand, immediately going under to drench Ethan, too, before coming up and staring at each other with blissed out smiles on their faces. Ethan began to float on his back with Grayson guiding his body gently, directing him to enjoy the beauty of the sky. Ethan obeyed, but focused more on Grayson hovering over him smiling.

“E...” Grayson started.

“Yeah, Gray?” Ethan put his feet down and stood facing Gray.

“This is so perfect...I love being with you,” Grayson said sweetly, the slightest blush touching his cheeks.

“Gray, I’m so glad you’re here...I- I’ve missed you so much,” Ethan said, honestly and little sadly. He didn’t want to ruin this moment by sounding down, but he meant every word.

Grayson looked at him intensely, his smile falling, along with his eyes as he looked down at Ethan’s lips. Immediately, Ethan could feel butterflies fluttering like mad in his stomach, and more desire pooling in the lower parts of him. Grayson inched forward, so slowly, giving Ethan time to react or move away, but they were drawn to each other, and Ethan knew deep down that this was an inevitability he had been avoiding.

Ethan felt Grayson’s hands grab at his waist under the water, felt his legs slide between Ethan’s, fitting perfectly. Ethan slowly slid a hand up Grayson’s arm while the other dipped dangerously to the small of Grayson’s back, already inching toward his lusciously plump ass. Grayson surprised Ethan by leaning his head down to his collar bone and placing a gentle kiss on his tattoo. As Grayson kissed his way up Ethan’s neck, Ethan’s head fell back to grant Grayson more access. The warmth of the sun on Ethan’s face was nothing compared to the hot trail left in the wake of the wet kisses that Grayson peppered along Ethan’s neck and up to his jawline.

Ethan could feel his cock stirring, could not ignore the hard bulge pressing against his pelvis thanks to Grayson’s arousal. When Grayson nipped at Ethan’s ear lobe, Ethan reacted by using one hand to grab Grayson’s ass roughly, and the other to pull his head back by his hair. Grayson whimpered, instantly spurring Ethan on in his aggressiveness. Ethan gazed into Grayson’s eyes and saw love and fire and anticipation there, which drove him to close the fraction of space between them and claim those lips that had been waiting for so long to be possessed by him.

Kissing Grayson was a miracle; it completed Ethan and unmade him all at once. It shifted his world on its axis and realigned it to GraysonGraysonGrayson. How could he have gone so long in his life without this? Without knowing the texture of Grayson’s tongue against his, without feeling his lips mold and unmold to his, fitting perfectly? Without pulling back to admire the length of his lashes and the shape of his nose, the bow of his lips up close?

Ethan was in ecstasy, hot all over, harder than he’d ever been, wrapped up in Grayson, and this was just a kiss...what the hell would happen when they...

“Gray, oh my god...Gray,” Ethan whispered out, more aroused than he’d ever been in his life.

“I love you, E...E...E...stay with me...E...”

“E...Ethan...Ethan?” Kristina’s voice cut through the heat of Ethan’s dream and forced him awake.

“Holyfuckingshit,” Ethan mumbled out, struggling to gain his bearings in their bed. Kristina held his hand, rubbing the back of it soothingly, and asked, “Are you worried about Gray? You were calling out for him.”

Ethan was silent, struggling not to cry as he remembered where he was and why Grayson was not with him. He breathed deeply for almost an entire minute before responding.

“Not worried, no - just a dream. Go back to sleep, I’m sorry I woke you,” Ethan said and removed his hand from Kristina’s and her attempt to comfort him. Ethan got up and went to the bathroom; he didn’t look back, knowing what he’d see. Kristina huffed a frustrated breath out quietly before laying down, turning away from Ethan, and going back to sleep.

Ethan avoided looking at the mirror, a habit he’d picked up in the last three or four months, and went to the shower. It wasn’t nearly as spectacular as the one he’d had built in the home he used to share with Grayson, but it was going to have to be enough. He put the water on as hot as he could stand it, removed his boxers, and stepped under the blast.

At some point, he was going to have to face his fucked up dreams about his brother. At some point, he was going to have to admit to himself that living this life and trying to continue loving Kristina was not enough. At some point, he was going to have to go home.

The fact that he was clearly struggling every fucking day of his life while Grayson was thriving kept Ethan in Australia. Grayson, who adjusted their podcast to “Deeper with the Dolans” and made their sister, Cam, a co-host with him. Grayson, who worked hard and kept growing his platform on TikTok to the point that he was getting bigger sponsors and more recognition as a comedian. Grayson, who went back to their old video formula on their main YT channel by doing challenges and reactions and pranks, giving fans (and fake fans) exactly what they wanted. Grayson, who added another channel on YT that only consisted of him building - and people loved it! Grayson, who continued to work with up and coming photographers, modeling and growing his following on Instagram and Twitter.

And although Ethan continued to co-run Wakeheart and their clothing line, expanding both sides enormously by making them a global name from his new home base in Australia, Grayson was still pulling more than his weight with leading meetings and advertising in the States for both companies. Ethan and Kristina did expand the DT channels on YT by adding a channel of their own, one that was geared toward couples (and it was performing well)...but Grayson was beloved, truly back on top after the hate-filled year that was 2020.

And it was all because Ethan wasn’t in Grayson’s way holding him back. It was April now and that truth, even after months of being apart, still stung like a fresh cut for Ethan.

Somewhere along the way between watching Grayson’s star rise from afar and stumbling through building a life in Australia with Kristina (including renting himself a house not too far from her parent’s home where she sometimes stayed), Ethan began to appreciate all of who Grayson was/is that he’d honestly started to become immune to having been the closest brothers and best friends for twenty-one years. It was like being away from him revealed Grayson to him in a new light, like he was learning him in a whole new way, which Ethan didn’t think was possible. Ethan could see all of his amazing qualities shining through every screen that he basically stalked Grayson on, and there were literally no words in the human language to describe the depth to which Ethan missed him. It took being without him for Ethan to realize that he didn’t just love Grayson; he was in love with Grayson. Seriously, what the fuck?

His new reality, a lot of which felt outside of his control, frustrated Ethan to no end. Ethan tried not to be miserable because he didn’t want to make Kristina miserable. She was amazing in her own right.

But she could never be Grayson. Especially the Grayson in his dreams. The Grayson who would hold his hand and touch his body, kiss him, put his mouth all over him. The Grayson who would moan and sigh, breathless, as Ethan worked to please him. Ethan couldn’t count the number of times he’d gotten caught up in the Grayson of his dreams, woken up, dick hard as hell, scared shitless that Kristina would see right through him if she hadn’t already.

He hated himself, hated the lie of his life, hated to hurt her, hated to look in the mirror and see the man he loved who was half a world away and living his best life without Ethan.

Calling him was out of the question. So Ethan was well and truly stuck. It was all so wrong, this forced separation, and Ethan found no comfort, only a steady spiraling down into himself, a frightening fall with no lifeline.

Chapter Text

“Mmmmmm fuck,” Grayson breathed wet and heavy against his pillow. He laid on his right, his cock shiny from the lube, and stroked his stiff bulge over and over with his right hand. With his left hand, he tugged the vibrating anal plug against his rim, in and out, but never fully removed it. Grayson was hot all over, enjoying the bombardment of sensation in his dick and ass, both tingling with overstimulation.

Although he could’ve been as loud as he wanted, when he came, he only had the energy for a long, low moan that escaped softly between his lips and mingled with his heavy breathing. He was spent, but much more relaxed having expended his energy. Ten minutes later, he struggled to his feet and headed to the shower. The water soothed him further; he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so calm. When he got out, he changed his sheets and dressed comfortably as he waited for his alarm to ring. Grayson knew that Cam would arrive in the next half hour for them to take their flight to Jersey, so he had time to chill out on his phone while he enjoyed the nostalgic smell of his freshly laundered bed set.

Grayson scrolled through home decor pages on Instagram for a while before going to search a photographer he was interested in working with. He was stopped by the image of a split screen of Ethan and Kristina, and a headline that read, “Trouble in Australian Paradise?” As much as he hated tea pages, he and Ethan hadn’t spoken about their personal lives in what felt like forever (even though Grayson didn’t have much of a personal life to speak of, seeing as how he had no desire to build a romantic relationship with anyone who wasn’t Ethan), so he was a bit jolted by the headline and wondered about its accuracy. He hesitated before tapping on the picture, not wanting to invade Ethan’s privacy in this way. What he saw surprised him even more than he could’ve guessed.

There was high-resolution video of Kristina with a pretty good-looking guy who was described as “fellow dancer,” Thomas Kincaid. They were filmed walking down a business district street, laughing, chatting, then walking into a studio. The post insinuated that the two of them had history, and were potentially planning for a future as well. Ethan was nowhere in sight. Grayson closed the app and placed his phone on his bare chest, looking up at the ceiling in silent contemplation.

He wasn’t sure how to feel. When it came to Ethan’s life, Grayson was out of the loop, though not by choice. Grayson knew that Ethan trusted Kristina wholeheartedly, but he was positive that Ethan would be at least a little uncomfortable with this if he wasn’t aware of it beforehand. But was that likely? No, not in Grayson’s mind, because when were Ethan and Kristina not together? Ultimately, Grayson brushed it off, determined to enjoy his upcoming time and plans with his mom and sister instead of obsessing over Ethan like he usually spent his free time doing.

Several hours later, Grayson and Cameron were standing at the back door of Lisa Dolan’s house, excited to surprise her for the mom-centric holiday. They heard footsteps approaching and smiled at each other before the door opened and they were both swallowed up in a warm hug by the middle Dolan child. Grayson was stunned to feel the heat of Ethan’s skin against his own, and his heart raced as he inhaled his brother’s naturally sweet scent.

“Way to steal our thunder, Ethan,” Cameron stated sarcastically, but couldn’t stop the enormous grin on her face. Ethan laughed aloud, then shifted so he could put both of his arms around his sister. Grayson stood beside them, still stunned, until Ethan moved toward him for his turn. Grayson was already being crushed against his brother when he could finally react enough to return the hug.

“Hello, Bailey,” Ethan whispered, his lips brushing against Grayson’s ear. After a few seconds, the brothers pulled back simultaneously, and Grayson knew he was blushing; his cheeks weren’t the only part of him feeling warm at the moment. Ethan’s palm was pressed to his cheek, his long fingers wrapping around to the back of Grayson’s neck, curling into his hair there. “Hey, E,” Grayson said shyly, unable to hold the intensity of Ethan’s gaze.

Before Grayson could feel any more confused (or aroused) his mom came bounding out of the door with a happy scream. She put her arms around the three of them as best she could, and they all joined in jumping up and down in a circle like a family of true goofs.

After that, it didn’t take long for Grayson to get over his initial awkwardness at Ethan being at their mom’s house, too. For one, Ethan seemed really relaxed, giddy even, at being home with his mom and siblings. Moreover, Ethan was there alone, a fact that Grayson tried not to read into too much. Actually, he was intentionally disregarding it so as not to set himself up with foolish hope, only to be crushed by reality when Ethan returned to Kristina in Australia. The Dolans really made the most of their time together, doing whatever Lisa wanted to do on her special weekend, though she was just happy to be around her three amazing kids without interruption for once.

Things between Ethan and Grayson were...easy. There was no other word for it in Grayson’s mind, no better way to describe the normalcy and familiarity they were operating in while they were home together in New Jersey. When Cam and Lisa went out for mother-daughter shopping and a late movie, the boys were left alone for the first time. Ethan had the brilliant idea to hop on the quads and go visit the fort they’d built during the survival video. Grayson was too happy to join him.

The weather was perfect for a spring evening in Jers, so they went shirtless, barefoot, wearing only their shorts. They hiked to the spot and cheered loudly when they found both structures still standing, though Grayson’s was leaning sideways a little. Ethan made Grayson do a double-take when he whipped out two sleeping bags and materials to make a small campfire for them, revealing to Grayson that his plan had been for them to just hang out together all along. As the sun began to set, they laughed and talked about filming the survival video while they built the campfire and sipped on a shared thermos of ice water.

“We can! I know we can,” shouted Ethan. He was trying to prove to Grayson that they could still fit under his “house” like they’d done for the video years ago. “Dude, no way...we’re way too big,” Grayson chuckled, shaking his head. “Okay, well now I’m just gonna have to prove you wrong - get over here,” Ethan said, clearing some of the forest debris from the setup. He laid his sleeping bag down, then sat with his legs open expectantly.

Grayson wasn’t sure how to read this...it felt brotherly, but all of his lust for Ethan must’ve been clouding his brain because he swore that the air was suddenly charged with sexual energy, and it was radiating from both of them. No, Grayson wouldn’t allow himself to believe that, so he walked over to where Ethan was before turning with his back to him, and sitting with his knees in his chest.

“What did I tell you? We don’t fit,” said Grayson with a laugh.

“Well not with you sitting so far,” Ethan responded calmly. Ethan snuck his arms between Grayson’s abs and legs, then pulled him back easily in a surprising show of strength. Grayson had no choice but to come, the curve of his back and ass slotting into place against the front of Ethan’s body.

“There,” Ethan said, clasping his hands together and snuggling against Grayson’s back. Grayson, having hugged and been hugged by Ethan like this countless times before, felt caught in a memory. He knew without peeking behind him that Ethan was grinning like an idiot. Grayson wasn’t sure what to do with his hands and arms, so he rested them on his knees, trying to appear unfazed. Inside, he was electric, struggling to shove away every Ethan-fantasy he’d used to get off in the last five months.

“What do have to say now, bup?” Ethan asked.

But when he’d said bup, he’d jutted his groin forward a bit, a fraction that could’ve easily been mistaken for him adjusting. Grayson’s mind was racing. Again, he played it off by holding his hands up as if in surrender.

“You were right, bro, you win,” Grayson said apologetically. “Mr. Ethan is always right, and don’t you forget it, my minion,” Ethan teased. Grayson burst out laughing, his head falling back on Ethan’s shoulder. He felt Ethan’s grip around him tighten, could sense his smile against Grayson’s cheek.

“Damn...we chose a crazy life...do you regret it, Gray?”

Grayson was caught off guard by Ethan’s sudden sincerity. It had been a very long time since they’d talked like this, open and thoughtful. “No...and I don’t know who we’d be if we hadn’t done it this way,” Grayson said with certainty. And then they were off down memory lane, talking about video after video, the ones they’d forgotten or deleted, the ones they loved making that didn’t do well, and vice versa, the phases they couldn’t stand to think about, until they arrived at where they were now. Together but wholly separate, expanding but not exactly headed in the same direction anymore.

“I haven’t said this enough,” Ethan began, “but I’m so fucking proud of you. In spite of it all, we haven’t given up, and look at how brightly you’re shining now. Damn, I admire you, Grayson.” Ethan hadn’t stopped holding him the whole time they talked. The only difference now was that he’d shifted his face so that his lips were against Grayson’s neck as he made this confession. Grayson knew this would only hurt him more when Ethan was gone again, but he couldn’t refuse to reciprocate anymore. Grayson placed his hands on top of Ethan’s and said, “Everything I am is because of you, E. If you’re going to be proud, be proud of yourself.”

“Grayson...” Ethan said in a whisper, his breath warm against Grayson’s ear and neck. Grayson’s eyes slipped closed for a moment, but then he forced himself to sit up and turn to face Ethan. “So speaking of now,” Grayson hinted dramatically. In the days since they’d arrived, Ethan hadn’t addressed the elephant in the room once. Why was he home without Kristina? Wouldn’t this have been the perfect opportunity to spend Mother’s Day with her and her family?

Ethan smiled sadly and looked down. He played with the grass before looking up at Grayson and saying, “Speaking of now, it’s getting late. If mom and Cam are back, they’ll be worried. Are you ready to head back?”

“Yeah, sure,” Grayson said. The lack of response only made him worry for his brother more.

It was still just the two of them when they arrived, and Cam had messaged them not to wait up. Ethan and Grayson showered and changed in the two guest bathrooms before meeting at the fridge and deciding to make vegan sundaes. They continued to talk and laugh at the kitchen table, just like old times. After a while, their eyelids heavy and drooping, they headed upstairs to go to their separate rooms. Tonight, however, Grayson followed Ethan into his room, determined to make sure he was okay.

Ethan slid under the covers sleepily, then pulled back the sheets and comforter on the side in front of him.

“Stay,” he said quietly to Grayson. “Please stay with me.”

“E, we barely fit in your hut, so your bed won’t be any different,” Grayson tried to be funny, but his heart was racing again at the prospect. When he leaned over Ethan to tuck him in, Ethan pulled a wrestling move on him that landed Grayson under the covers, his back to Ethan’s front once again.

“Gray, stay,” Ethan repeated. He was holding Grayson against him tightly, and Grayson didn’t know how to respond. Ethan had rarely been like this after they’d turned 18, and normally Grayson could handle him in his few clingy moments. Their distance over several months coupled with Grayson obviously being in love with him was making Grayson’s thought process a confusing mess and hindering him from an appropriate response.

“I just want to tuck you in and make sure you’re okay, E,” said Grayson, “is that alright?”

Ethan loosened his hold on Grayson, but instead of releasing him, Ethan pushed Grayson down into the bed and laid on top of him completely. The feeling of Ethan’s dick rubbing against his own, the weight of him as he began to grind his hips down into Grayson beneath him - all of the air was punched from Grayson’s lungs as his eyes shot open in surprise. Grayson’s hands went up to push against Ethan’s shoulders, but Ethan wrapped his hands around Grayson’s wrists and pressed them into the bed. Grayson’s jaw dropped at the aggression and the continued grind of Ethan’s hips into Grayson’s.

Ethan stared into Grayson’s eyes with the same intensity as the first day they’d arrived, but Grayson couldn’t draw his eyes away this time. He searched, and in Ethan’s eyes he glimpsed the magnitude of Ethan’s sadness, some fury, and most of all, longing.

“I miss you so fucking much, Grayson,” Ethan bit the words out with effort, trying not to let too much emotion slip through. Grayson continued to try to breathe through his open mouth, and watched in stunned silence as Ethan slowly leaned forward to press his lips against Grayson’s neck again. Grayson felt the wet pucker of Ethan’s kisses as he tested this new boundary, felt his shorts tighten against his hard dick when Ethan began to use his tongue to suck at Grayson’s neck. Grayson moaned, too turned on to be embarrassed, his wrists still trapped by his head in Ethan’s hands.

Ethan kissed and sucked his way to the corner of Grayson’s mouth, making it clear that he was intending to kiss him. Before he did, Ethan pulled back and waited for Grayson to open his eyes.

“Gray...”

“Gr-Grayson, I’ve fallen in love with you,” said Ethan.

The distance had fulfilled its purpose. Grayson’s soulmate was here, pressed against him, taking him exactly how he’d wanted and imagined, saying the words he’d waited for what felt like an eternity to hear.

If all of this was right, why did Grayson feel so wrong?

“Ethan...I love you...I’ve always...I’m so in love with you, Ethan...” Grayson was astounded by how small his voice sounded.

Ethan released one of his wrists to catch the tear that slipped from the corner of Grayson’s eye. They stared at each other, a lifetime of understanding passing between them and connecting them. Ethan leaned forward, lips parted. Just before their lips finally touched, Grayson whispered, “Kristina. We can’t do this to Kristina.”

Grayson could see the hurt he’d caused Ethan by uttering the truth in those words, and at such a vulnerable moment. Ethan had the humility to be ashamed for a second, and Grayson snuck out from under him within that small span of time. He knew he was shaking, overwhelmed with emotion and the effort of trying to maintain some control. Just as Grayson reached the door, Ethan surprised him again by grabbing him roughly and attempting to force him to stay. They tussled a bit, both automatically falling into their old wrestling moves due to muscle memory. Suddenly Ethan grabbed Grayson by the throat and slammed him into the wall, his anger and lust rolling into one jumbled emotion.

Ethan’s left hand clasped Grayson’s throat as his right went down into Grayson’s shorts to unleash his big, hard dick. Ethan wrapped his fist around Grayson’s shaft and pulled, beginning to jerk him off. “You’re mine, Gray - no more pretending,” Ethan said with rage and desire lacing through his voice.

Grayson’s palms were flat against the wall, his whole body tensing at Ethan’s intimate assault on him. Grayson knew that if he reached out, even to push Ethan away, it would end with them fucking.

“E, please, not like this...not like this...” Grayson begged.

Although they both wanted this, wanted each other, Grayson wanted it to be right more. He wanted Ethan to be his and his only if they were going to really give themselves to each other physically. As Ethan felt another one of Grayson’s tears splash against the hand he had wrapped around Grayson’s throat, Ethan was suddenly able to pull himself away.

Grayson tried not to look afraid or embarrassed, but he wasn’t sure how well he managed that in the moment.

“Gray...” Ethan began, already crying. He reached for him, but Grayson kept his eyes on him as he reached blindly for the door handle.

“Gray, I’m so sorry, I - please say you’ll forgive me. I can’t - I can’t live without you anymore, Gray, please,” but Grayson had already slid out of the room at Ethan’s last “please.”

They held themselves as they cried in their separate beds, thinking only of each other from their separate rooms. Their bond, the pull had never been stronger on either side, to go and beg forgiveness for one, and to go and comfort for the other.

Fear held both captive through the impossible and lonely night. In the morning, Ethan was gone again.

Chapter Text

“It is Wednesday, July 7, 2021, and welcome to our show, you entertainment news junkies! I’m your host, Stacy Trinh, and we have some incredible highlights from the Fourth of July weekend. Keep watching to see which two celebs tied the knot in a secret ceremony, awww, and who ended up in jail over the holiday weekend, dun-dun-duuunnnnn. That’s all coming up in our power hour of news, but first, prepare for a little heartbreak.

The oldest Dolan Twin and co-founder of the Wakeheart fragrance brand is back on the market, ladies and gents. We’re sad to report that 21-year-old Ethan Dolan and longtime love of almost two years, Kristina Srzich, 23, have reportedly called it quits. Rumors of a looming split began in May when Kristina was seen shopping in Sydney for a dance studio with former classmate and dancer, Thomas Kincaid, who is 26. At the same time, Ethan was celebrating Mother’s Day with his immediate family in New Jersey, which hinted at some possible relationship trouble. Ethan returned to Australia and things were quiet for a few weeks until the middle of June when Kristina was caught leaving Ethan’s apartment with what appeared to be all of her belongings. Fast-forward to now, and recent photos of Kristina and Thomas looking very cozy and couple-y are flooding the gram. Public records show that the dance duo did, in fact, purchase one of the studios they checked out together back in May, and it looks like they’re going to be seeing a lot of each other professionally and personally.

Ethan and Grayson Dolan have recently been in a phase of un-twinning, which many fans attributed to Ethan’s decision to prioritize his now-dead relationship with Kristina. The dynamic and ridiculously sexy duo have been working separately, with Grayson staying in the States and Ethan moving to Sydney, Australia. But that hasn’t stopped them from continuing to grow all of their businesses and platforms since last December. Some have said that this un-twinning phase was exactly what the hot af twins needed to reignite their popular brand after they endured and bounced back from a ton of unnecessary hate in 2020. So could this breakup mean the reunion of two of the industry’s most obsessed-over twins? Only time will tell, but we wish Ethan and Kristina well and thank them for all of the lovey dovey memories.

Let’s take a fashion break with Celeb Snaps from this weekend, hosted by Riley Rivas. Riley?”

~

It seemed that 2021 would be the year of traveling for the Dolan family. Not together, but still, it was nice for Lisa to know that her kids were okay, and so was she. Two-and-a-half years since Sean’s passing, and this was the first vacation she had taken. It felt long overdue. Cameron joined her for legs of the trip, specifically Paris and Hawaii. The boys had gifted her and Cameron with travel opportunities since they weren’t able to visit in late July during either her or Cameron’s birthday. As the tickets were non-refundable, Lisa had known that she couldn’t turn them down. It was a long vacation, from late July to early September, but see was glad to see more of the world.

It was so good to unplug, and now that she was back in her beautiful home, she could check up on what her boys had been up to. It was too much to hope that they’d reunited, but Lisa knew it was coming; she just had to be patient. As much as she liked Kristina personally, she’d known it wasn’t meant to be. She’d accepted long ago that her boys’ relationships would be anything but typical, simply because of who each of them were. Lisa hadn’t checked in with Etee or Gray since the breakup, so she was anxious to watch their video messages, which she’d agreed to ignore until she was back home.

She sat down with a glass of wine and began with the oldest one from Gray...

Hours later, Lisa couldn’t help feeling super proud of her boys, even though they still weren’t back together. It didn’t really surprise her that their paths continued to align, despite the separation.

Since July, both had traveled a little, both shocked the hell out of her by voluntarily taking a couple of college classes in film and business “just to try it,” and both had been doing modeling work, in front of and behind the camera, for high fashion and athletic gear. Best of all, they’d both done directing projects - Ethan for a film festival, and Grayson for a documentary - over the summer. She couldn’t wait to watch both films and call each of them to gush over all of their accomplishments.

Lisa knew they couldn’t see it yet, but this time apart was going to make them so much greater when they finally came back together. Her faith in their bond wouldn’t let her believe otherwise. She set down her glass and decided to call Ethan first.

~

Friendsgiving with the film crew was a blast - Ethan even received a new vegan recipe to try from one of the writers. He never thought he’d be spending Thanksgiving in Vancouver, away from his family, and in the middle of one of the best jobs he’d ever had. Everyday, he felt excited and focused, but he also felt humble, despite being the man in charge as the director. Mostly, he just felt grateful for all the ups and downs that had led him to this exact moment in his life. He knew work was allowing him to be okay, but when he was alone, as he was heading to his hotel room to be now, he was still struggling with how he’d hurt Grayson six months ago.

The time and space between them had no effect on his heart. He longed for Grayson and felt like, despite his progress, he wouldn’t be completely okay until he could figure out how to get Grayson to forgive him, see how much Ethan had changed, and how he was ready to be worthy of Grayson. When he pictured how he’d treated Grayson, Ethan couldn’t let go of the shame he still felt, and that prevented him from reaching out to his one and only. It was easy to call Grayson his one and only now that he had a much clearer understanding, and a “big breakup” behind him.

Although he was a bit stung by Kristina choosing an older guy from her past to replace him, Ethan was also glad that she didn’t have to waste anymore time on him. He was clearly not on the same page with her about the big stuff in a relationship, even though they were a pretty good pair when things were good and still a bit superficial. Shit got real when Kristina presented Ethan with an ultimatum of engagement or breaking up just before Mother’s Day; said she was tired of “playing house” with him. To Ethan, it was clear that she didn’t really know him if she thought she could force his hand; he was literally one of the most stubborn people in the world. Plus, why would she want that from him? Why would she want to have to prematurely force someone into doing what should come naturally over time? So obviously, Ethan hadn’t responded with a ring, which probably led to Kristina being “caught” out and about with Thomas by paparazzi. And just like that, almost two years later, Kristina and Ethan were done.

Ethan was embarrassed and frustrated with himself for how casually he’d referred to her as his soulmate and remembered describing her as being closer to him than Grayson. Looking with new eyes, Ethan couldn’t fathom how a relationship that hadn’t even lasted two years could begin to compare in his heart and mind to the one he has with Grayson of more than twenty. Ethan knew he was a fool...but he was ready to move past that now. If only there was a way.

Back in his hotel room, Ethan checked his Twitter, a rare occurrence since the trauma of 2020 Twitter. He stopped and sat up straight when he came across a tweet by Cosmopolitan magazine sharing their recent interview with Grayson. He took it as providence that he’d happened to check Twitter at this moment, perfect timing and a completely unexpected surprise. The tweet read:

“Check out our November issue with renaissance man, Grayson Dolan, who talks about his lifelong loves, including directing, building, and his twin brother, Ethan.”

Ethan’s heart stuttered as he read the words, then clicked on the video of Grayson’s Cosmo interview.

Ethan could hear a reporter’s voice off-screen as the camera focused on Grayson: “Grayson, you’ve shared your thoughts on your passion as a director and recreational builder. What are we missing? What’s rounding out your big three of lifelong loves?”

Without hesitation, Grayson replied, “Ethan Grant Dolan, my amazing twin brother.”

“Yes, you two used to be inseparable. As you’ve both grown and gone on to do your own thing, there’s no love lost there?” asked the interviewer.

“None whatsoever,” Grayson said, “there is no ill will between us.” Ethan was stunned by the intensity of Grayson’s gaze directly into the camera. It was like he was talking directly to Ethan. Like he knew Ethan would be listening somehow.

“Ethan and I have an unbreakable bond and not many people can understand it. He is absolutely my favorite person on earth, and I think we’ve been enjoying this time to grow as individuals. When you think about it, what’s a year in a lifetime? That’s the perspective I’ve tried to take anyway. Bottom line, I am confident that we will reconnect,” Grayson finished with his lopsided grin, his right eye still a bit hidden behind his floppy brown hair. Ethan thought he might cry looking at him and hearing what Grayson said about their relationship.

The clip ended and Ethan scrolled up to see if there was another. There was, and it read, “Christmas in Tibet with Grayson Dolan.” Ethan couldn’t click fast enough.

“Why Tibet next month? Is anyone joining you?” the interviewer asked.

“Well I’ve made it a point to see more of the world this year; I love to travel because it helps me maintain perspective, and keeps me humble as a learner. I’ve never seen winter in Tibet, so I’m going. I’m trying to get better at stepping away from work to simply enjoy life. As to who will be there with me...let’s just say I’m traveling with hope for now,” and again Grayson looked directly into the camera, into Ethan’s soul in that moment.

Ethan’s hands shook as he looked up from his phone. This was the moment, possibly one of the biggest moments of his life. Certainly a decision that could change everything. He could keep being stuck or choose to step into something new and extraordinary, beginning with forgiving himself.

Maybe he hadn’t always been worthy, but hadn’t this year proven to him that things could always get better and he could always be working to improve? Hadn’t he shown himself that he could learn to be enough for himself and the man he loved more than anyone or anything in his world? Was he stronger than his fears after all?

~

“...yes...yes, one-way to Tibet, please.”

Chapter Text

The flames danced within the stone pit creating a mesmerizing show of heat and light that captivated Grayson. While the fire supplied his external warmth, internally he was ablaze with a strange mix of hope and certainty. Tonight is the night, he thought as he tilted his beanie-covered head back and looked to the stars. He knew it was cheesy, but he pretended they were aligned and gleaming in his direction on their 22nd birthday, in on the secret wishes of Grayson’s heart and willing to aid him in seeing them fulfilled.

He never heard his footsteps approaching, didn’t smell his uniquely sweet scent, or hear his steady breathing. Still, Grayson knew that Ethan was there with him, so he was already smiling before Ethan even spoke.

“Hey,” said Ethan.

Grayson could pick out his mood from one word, and he knew right away that Ethan was incredibly happy, but totally scared. Knowing him so well, Grayson also understood that wouldn’t stop him from completing the mission he was on.

Grayson smiled even wider, still not looking at Ethan, and replied, “Hey, birthday boy.”

“You don’t seem surprised,” Ethan said.

“Can’t say that I am,” Grayson replied. He continued to sit facing the fire instead of Ethan.

Slowly, Ethan approached as if to give Grayson fair warning. As if he wasn’t sure whether Grayson was still afraid of him or not after their last time together.

“So your twin telepathy still works then,” Ethan said, though it was more of a question than a statement.

“Can’t say that it does,” said Grayson, “but my hope is functioning just fine.”

Grayson had joked around long enough. He needed to lay eyes on Ethan. Grayson stood and faced him, Ethan, the most important person in his life regardless of the space or time or distance that had lived between them for the last year. Grayson smiled as he took him in, standing there in the firelight, and could’ve cried from his perfection, or the fact that he was there before him after all this time.

He didn’t know where to look as he gazed upon his soulmate: the shine of his hair, the angle of his eyebrows, the blush in his cheeks, the pout of his lips, or the need in his eyes. He settled on Ethan’s eyes, burning with intensity, and said, “Thank you for coming.”

“Thank you for inviting me,” Ethan stated meaningfully. “I couldn’t begin to hope that you would or could forgive me for how I treated you. I’d been trying to figure out how to approach you to apologize and beg your forgiveness. But then I saw your interview and I realized...” Ethan paused.

“Grayson, I’m sorry that I hurt you so many times, that I was selfish and blind, and that I was so aggressive and dismissive the last time we were together. You don’t deserve to be treated that way by anyone, but especially not by me. You have seen and understood me when that wasn’t possible for anyone else. You’ve loved me through all the dumb and crazy shit I’ve ever said and done. You’ve made me feel like I could do anything. I’m so sorry that I ever made you believe that I didn’t reciprocate all of the love you’ve given me, or that anyone anywhere could ever come close to comparing to you in my eyes. Will you please forgive me?” Ethan asked.

Grayson’s smile only faltered a little throughout Ethan’s apology. He wasn’t sad by any means, just in awe that he’d made it to this moment in his life, the moment when their hearts wanted the same thing at the same time.

It was silent in the little alcove as Grayson stepped into Ethan’s space, their eyes never unlocking. At some point, a light snow had begun to fall, and a few snowflakes were captured by Ethan’s long eyelashes. Grayson reached to free them, rubbing the pad of his thumb along Ethan’s upper lash line. Grayson heard Ethan breathe in sharply at the contact, and he liked knowing that he could fluster Ethan with his touch.

One thumb was not enough, so Grayson framed Ethan’s face with both of his hands and waited for Ethan to look at him again. When he did, Grayson took a moment to really look at Ethan’s features while he gently rubbed the pad of his thumb across Ethan’s defined cheekbone, and allowed his fingers to creep into the hair at the back of Ethan’s neck. His voice was drenched in care as he stated earnestly, “Forgiven. What we create now is all that matters.”

A tear escaped from Ethan’s eye and rolled down Grayson’s thumb as he continued to hold Ethan’s face. Grayson realized that Ethan had been holding a breath when he released it through a scared yet relieved sob and grabbed onto Grayson’s waist with both hands to steady himself.

“E, it’s okay...just breathe,” Grayson soothed softly, finally wrapping his arms around Ethan and holding him tight against his body. Grayson swayed them gently as Ethan cried, so much that Grayson wondered when he’d cried last and been comforted. After several minutes, Ethan finished and looked up at Grayson.

“I can’t believe I’m here with you...after all this time...” Ethan said, “but what’s a year in a lifetime?” He finished the question with a laugh, showing his appreciation for Grayson’s wisdom.

“Is that what we have, E? A lifetime?” Grayson asked with patient hope.

Ethan looked down at his feet, still holding onto Grayson. He spoke so lowly, it was hard for Grayson to hear him.

“If you’ll have me. Will you, Grayson?”

“Ethan...yes,” Grayson whispered emphatically, “there’s nothing I want mo— mmmmmm.”

Ethan cut Grayson off with a kiss, their first kiss, the best birthday gift Grayson had ever received in his life. Ethan pulled him in impossibly closer, hands drifting lower, resting just below the small of his back. Their kiss started with the connection of their warm lips, pecking each other slowly until Ethan spread his lips enough to sneak his tongue out and tickle Grayson’s bottom lip. Grayson moaned softly, surprised by the blood that rushed straight down, causing him to harden in his pants, then met Ethan’s tongue with his own. Grayson’s arms wrapped tighter around Ethan’s neck, and he felt Ethan tighten his arms around Grayson’s waist as they both further tilted their heads to engage in tonguing each other deeply.

Grayson’s mind worked to take in every detail: the feel of Ethan’s cold nose occasionally brushing against Grayson’s face, the expert way his lips moved around Grayson’s and how plump and soft they were, the texture and movement of Ethan’s tongue against his own, a warm and sensual dance they were really taking their time with. Ethan made Grayson lightheaded, dizzy with his kiss. He felt Ethan begin to pull back, kissing Grayson only with his lips, then giving his bottom lip a gentle nibble, which Grayson received as a promise of things to come. Ethan’s hands rested on Grayson’s arms around his neck as he leaned back to look at Grayson’s face. Grayson bit his bottom lip and smiled, eyes cast down shyly as their breaths mingled in the space between them. Suddenly, he was being attacked by kisses all over his face in rapid succession.

“Ethaaaaaaaannnn...” Grayson giggled out. Ethan continued to make loud smacking noises with every kiss as he bombarded Grayson with affection. “I -peck- can’t -peck- help -peck, peck- myself,” the barrage continued. “Blame yourself,” Ethan finished, this time putting his hand beneath Grayson’s chin to force him to look into Ethan’s eyes.

The snow continued to fall around them gently as the fire glowed and the stars twinkled, all bearing witness to this moment in their love story. They’d been dealt so many fucked up moments before now, so they were happy to have one perfect one like this in their lifetime, rare as it was. They stood hugging, gazing at each other, and touching their foreheads together for several minutes, whispering I missed yous and I love yous before Grayson took Ethan by the hand and began to walk him to the place he was staying in Tibet.

He assumed correctly that Ethan had just shown up without bothering to book a room, clearly as hopeful for their reconciliation as Grayson was. When they arrived, Grayson got to work on building a fire in the fireplace while Ethan fixed them some hot tea. After taking off his outerwear, Ethan was left in a tank top and sweats with cozy socks. Grayson moved to the couch and started to remove the hoodie he had on under his coat. Once he’d pulled it over his head, he looked down to see Ethan untying and removing his boots until the two of them were identically dressed. The sweet gesture of E removing his boots, small as it was, made Grayson feel incredibly loved and seen in that moment.

Ethan moved to the couch beside him, drawing Grayson’s socked feet into his lap, and reached out with his mug towards Grayson’s for a toast. “What are we clinking to?” Ethan asked. “Beginning,” Grayson said, focused on Ethan’s eyes. “To beginning again,” Ethan whispered, the firelight reflecting in his glassy eyes as he gazed back at Grayson and took a deep gulp of the hot tea.

They sipped and talked about the last year, what they’d learned from experience, how they’d grown, things they’d kept up with in hearing news of each other, the progress of their businesses, the well-being of their family and friends, even their brand’s future. When they started opening up about the present, the shift in the atmosphere was palpable.

“I kept thinking I might see you with someone else one day and I couldn’t imagine how I’d be able to handle it,” said Ethan, “and I know that’s hypocritical - I’m sorry. But then when that didn’t happen, I realized that I have no clue what you’d want in a partner. Who or what turns you on or what stimulates you in conversation. Like, how can I be so close to you and know you but not know who or what attracts you?”

Ethan had been massaging the arches of Grayson’s feet as he spoke, which Grayson found both relaxing and endearing. He’d missed these simple acts of touch with Ethan. And he wanted more.

“Hmmm,” Grayson began and removed his feet from Ethan’s lap as he continued. “Someone caring and intelligent,” Grayson said as he crawled across the couch toward Ethan, who gulped audibly. “Someone sweet and sarcastic,” Grayson had moved to straddle Ethan’s lap, rubbing his hands up his arms softly until he reached Ethan’s shoulders. Grayson was raised up on his knees so that he was hovering over Ethan while straddling him, and his floppy hair was falling into both of their faces. “Someone driven,” he kissed Ethan’s jawline, “creative,” he kissed his left eyelid, “and resilient,” he kissed Ethan’s right eyelid. Ethan’s breathing was labored and it was clear to Grayson that he was trying to keep himself under control, but he was incredibly aroused by what Grayson was doing. This definitely spurred Grayson on.

“Someone who understands me,” Grayson had leaned to Ethan’s right ear and sucked on the lobe after his statement, “and makes me feel powerful.” Grayson dropped a light peck on the tip of Ethan’s nose. “Someone who is beautiful inside and out,” he kissed Ethan’s lips, “who is funny as hell,” he kissed Ethan’s lips again, “and who challenges me to be my best self everyday,” he kissed Ethan’s lips one more time. Ethan whimpered when Grayson pulled back, sitting on Ethan’s thighs and waiting for Ethan to look at him. Ethan opened his eyes slowly and watched as Grayson pulled his tank top off. His pecs and biceps and abs rippled, and it took everything in Ethan not to reach out and touch some part of Grayson’s amazingly hot body.

“Ethan, I don’t care about who I could have. You are who I want and that’s been true for me for a long time. I...adore you,” Grayson said as he raised himself up again, this time leaning into Ethan and pulling his head back by his hair so that he could kiss him while hovering over him. Ethan finally allowed himself to reach up and touch Grayson, beginning with his hair, which he brushed out of Grayson’s face with his hand and continued to kiss him deeply. Ethan then moved to grabbing Grayson’s pecs and brushing his fingertips across Grayson’s nipples, causing Grayson to moan loudly before diving back in to continue their kiss. Next, Ethan reached around Grayson to grasp his muscular back with both hands. He trailed his hands down until he settled on Grayson’s juicy ass, which he gave an appreciative squeeze as Grayson continued to kiss him from above. Ethan snuck his left hand under the elastic band at the back of Grayson’s sweats and pushed his hand down to cup Grayson’s ass again, just skin on skin this time. Grayson tilted his head back in a heated haze at Ethan grabbing his bare ass with his hand. This gave Ethan access to put his mouth around Grayson’s left nipple and suck it into his mouth deeply, biting and licking it and driving Grayson crazy. At this, Grayson began grinding himself into Ethan’s lap, causing their hard dicks to brush against each other in their sweats.

“Mmm, Gray,” Ethan whispered. When he released Grayson’s nipple, Grayson moved down to kiss Ethan’s lips again before moving over to suck his neck. He moved down to Ethan’s collarbone, and then sat up to remove Ethan’s tank top before un-straddling him to get on his knees on the floor in front of Ethan. Grayson returned to Ethan’s collar bone, Ethan’s hands now in Grayson’s hair, and drifted down to his chest. He kissed both nipples and each rock hard ab muscle there before looking up at Ethan. Ethan looked desperate for it, but a little afraid, so Grayson sat up to kiss him on the mouth again before beginning to slide Ethan’s sweats and boxers off of his body.

“Oh my god,” they said together softly in anticipation. Grayson leaned forward to kiss the tattoo at Ethan’s pelvis, then trailed kisses down until he reached his erection, and bypassed it all together. Instead, Grayson started using the tip of his tongue to make figure eights on and around Ethan’s balls before sucking them into his mouth one at a time and skillfully massaging them with his tongue as he hummed. Ethan’s grunts and moans had become animalistic; he’d clearly never had anyone perform like this on him.

When he was finished there, Grayson lifted Ethan’s dick to drag his flat tongue against the underside repeatedly. He moved around wetting Ethan’s entire shaft like this, ignoring the head for the moment. Occasionally, Grayson would look up at Ethan and hold his gaze as he worked on his dick with his mouth. Ethan was in ecstasy, completely relinquishing control to Grayson for both of their enjoyment. Finally, Grayson wrapped both of his hands around Ethan’s thick shaft, and sucked the head into his mouth with his eyes on Ethan’s. He circled the head with his tongue before sliding along and into his slit. Grayson made sure there was lots of spit as he gave Ethan the best blowjob of his existence, knowing how much he would enjoy the sounds along with the feeling Grayson was creating with his mouth.

It wasn’t long before Ethan was pulling Grayson back up to his lips, licking into his mouth to taste himself and stop Grayson from making him cum before he was ready. “Stand up,” Ethan said, and Grayson obeyed. Ethan looked him in the eye as he pulled his sweats and boxers down, then held one of Grayson’s hands to help him step out of the pool of clothing at his feet as Ethan sat back down on the couch. Grayson stood there naked, and Ethan took time to admire him. “You are so fucking hot, Grayson...everything about you turns me on,” Ethan said as he grabbed Grayson’s hips and pulled him forward. Grayson looked down at him, his dick so close to Ethan’s mouth, and tried to take a few calming breaths.

“Grab your dick, Grayson,” Ethan said. It was like Ethan knew exactly how to rile him up, knew that Grayson wanted to dominate and be dominated by Ethan. Grayson grabbed the base of his dick with his right hand and stroked it to the tip. “Make me suck it,” Ethan commanded. Grayson grabbed the back of Ethan’s head with his left hand and stepped forward, holding his own dick in his right. Grayson placed the tip on Ethan’s mouth and rubbed it against his lips, bottom then top. “You want me?” Grayson asked. “Yes, fuck my face,” Ethan said, his lips whispering against the tip of Grayson’s dick. “Take me,” Grayson said, pushing his dick into Ethan’s mouth and pulling it out slowly a few times to play with him. He held the back of Ethan’s head as he moved his hips forward and backward faster and harder, allowing Ethan to suck his dick greedily. Ethan didn’t gag when Grayson hit the back of his throat, giving him the okay to speed up and fuck his face. Grayson loved the sounds that Ethan was making and they brought him right to the edge. “E...E...I’m...I’m...” Grayson mumbled, struggling to speak.

Instead of allowing him to finish, Ethan swallowed Grayson’s dick once more, pushing his nose down to Grayson’s lower abs, before popping his dick out of his mouth and standing up to face Grayson. Grayson swayed on his feet until Ethan steadied him, then kissed him roughly, Grayson moaning deep in his throat at the taste. “Don’t cum yet, Gray,” Ethan said, “okay?”

“Okay,” Grayson replied breathlessly.

“Lay on your stomach,” Ethan directed, pointing at the fluffy and enormous rug positioned in front of the fireplace. Again, Grayson obeyed, feeling a little exposed. Ethan straddled him just under his ass and bent down to kiss the length of Grayson’s spine.

“Relax,” Ethan said softly, continuing to kiss his way down to Grayson’s plump ass. Ethan massaged Grayson’s shoulders, his back, down, down, down, until he reached his muscular and perfect ass. “There’s lube on my nightstand,” Grayson said a little shyly. “Okay, don’t move,” Ethan replied, getting up. He returned quickly and set the bottle down on the coffee table without opening it. Ethan’s hands returned to Grayson’s body and kneaded his lower back before massaging Grayson’s ass cheeks with his strong hands.

Ethan gave Grayson a pillow to place under his head and arms, then hovered over him with his mouth touching Grayson’s ear. The fingers of Ethan’s left hand trailed down Grayson’s back as he whispered to him, “Gray, can I touch you here?” When he said “here,” his fingers lightly intruded Grayson’s crack with the tip of Ethan’s middle finger skimming the rim of Grayson’s asshole.

Grayson clenched his teeth together and responded, “Ugh god Ethan, please, yes,” as Ethan continued to skim Grayson’s rim with his middle finger. Ethan bent down to kiss the small of Grayson’s back, the tops of both mounds of his cheeks, then used both hands to spread him open and dive into Grayson’s asshole with his tongue. Ethan licked and poked with his tongue, causing Grayson to squirm and cry out loudly over and over, Ethan refusing to stop. He sucked Grayson’s ass and lapped at it up and down, pulling Grayson up on all fours. Grayson continued crying out, “E, oh god, aahhhh, Ethan,” as Ethan tongue-fucked his asshole before reaching around to grab Grayson’s dick with his left hand.

“Holy shit, yes, god don’t stop,” Grayson cried out as Ethan, after sucking on his right thumb, continued to jerk Grayson off with his left while he penetrated his hole up to his knuckle using his thumb. “Mmm, your ass is so tight, Gray, are you ready to cum for me?” Ethan asked. “Uggghhh not yet, not yet, ahh you feel so good inside me,” Grayson cried. Ethan slowed to a stop with his hand on Grayson’s dick and his thumb in his ass. He removed both and sat back on his heels, trying to slow his excited breathing down.

“E?” Grayson asked tentatively. He didn’t know what caused the reprieve, and that worried him. Grayson turned over and sat facing Ethan with his knees up to his chest, waiting for Ethan to respond.

“Grayson...I love you so much. I don’t want to mess this up...I just want to please you, be everything you deserve. After this, there’s no going back. Are you sure about this?” Ethan asked. It was clear to Grayson that this was coming from a place of fear in Ethan, perhaps stemming from his one and only failed relationship this year. He needed Grayson’s assurance.

“Ethan, I am 100% sure about you and sure about now. The rest...we’ll figure out as we go...together. Okay?” Grayson gave him his most dimply smile, which Ethan reciprocated, before they stared at each other intently again. Ethan leaned forward, his mouth moving with Grayson’s in a kiss, as he pushed him down onto his back, the rug and pillow beneath him.

As they continued to kiss, their dicks hardening as they rubbed together, both allowed their hands to roam over and appreciate the other’s body. Ethan’s hands moved to wrap around Grayson’s dick, and he stroked it slowly with one hand as he grabbed the bottle of lube with the other. “Mmm, stroke yourself while I watch,” Ethan said. Grayson looked up at Ethan and moved his hand up and down on his hard dick, unable to take his eyes away as Ethan lubed up his own erection.

“Should I...” Ethan began to ask, but Grayson anticipated him. “No, don’t finger me. I want your dick inside me, Ethan,” said Grayson. Ethan moved the pillow from under Grayson’s head to under his ass before lining up the lubed head of his dick with Grayson’s pink asshole. Grayson continued to stroke his own dick as Ethan began to penetrate Grayson’s hole with his tip. The head slid in slowly and Grayson pumped his dick faster as his moans grew louder and louder, his face scrunched up from the pleasure and pain. Ethan worked to be gentle as he pushed in further and pulled out to the head of his dick slowly, but he couldn’t ignore the part of him that wanted to ruin Grayson by fucking him until he hollered and begged Ethan to cum. He pushed that thought aside and stayed in the moment with Gray, Gray who had never looked more amazing than he did now, tugging on his own dick and taking Ethan’s up his ass, his mouth open in surprise and ecstasy, his beautiful body writhing beneath Ethan’s in pleasure.

Ethan took his time stretching Grayson open, making sure that this ass-pounding was pleasurable. When Grayson’s sounds turned more sensual, Ethan knew his patience had paid off and he could go a little harder. They soon found their rhythm, so Ethan wrapped his big hands around the top of Grayson’s thighs to yank him back toward him. Ethan leaned all of his weight onto Grayson, stretching his legs back, so he could slam his dick into Grayson’s ass with more force. The sounds of the lube and their skin-on-skin slapping repeatedly and the squelching of Grayson’s stroking his leaking dick were obscene, but such a turn on for Ethan and Grayson. Ethan continued to drive his dick into Grayson’s ass giving him rough pleasure and filling him up while Grayson stroked himself to completion.

They came simultaneously, Ethan coating Grayson’s walls and Grayson coating their stomachs in sticky white cum. Ethan leaned over Grayson, his forehead against his, and tried to catch his breath. Grayson wrapped his arms around Ethan’s back and found Ethan’s lips with his own. Ethan rolled off of Grayson but kept his arm across his sweaty body protectively. After a few minutes, he turned to Grayson, moving the damp hair that was obscuring part of his face.

“Are you alright?” Ethan asked Grayson.

“Fucking perfect,” Grayson smiled, “you, E?”

“Fucking perfect,” Ethan repeated, about to drift off to sleep. “Oh no you don’t...get up, E, this place has an amazing jacuzzi tub,” Grayson said shaking him. “Alright, let’s do it,” said Ethan.

Thirty minutes later, they were still in the warm water, Grayson holding Ethan in his arms as he sat with his back glued to Grayson’s front. They were both blissed out, spent from their lovemaking, and emotional reconnection. They soon found themselves dried off and in an enormous bed with fluffy pillows and a heavy comforter. They lay with their noses almost touching, eyes locked, staring in wonder at all that had transpired.

The one unaltered truth after a year of change was their love, the true necessity they felt for one another. And while the future could be a scary thing, they know that whatever comes next, they will always have each other, a fact that allows them to drift peacefully to sleep in each other’s warm embrace.

Chapter Text

They lay side by side, stretched out on the soft white sand, a large palm shading them from the heat. The gentle rolling of the clear water, wave over wave, the tide nearly reaching their feet now, seems in sync with their steady breathing.

His head, hair still a bit damp from their swim, rests just over the place the other’s beating heart can be felt. Legs tangle, a hand on a chiseled stomach, another wrapped around a muscled back, fingers weaving through the now-long hair at the nape.

Brown-green eyes slowly open, gazing lovingly on the beautiful sleeping form of their soulmate. He stares and stares, bound, hypnotized, struck by the overwhelming and all-encompassing emotions he feels for this man. The only man. His.

When the other’s eyes open, they meet their favorite sight: heavenly hazel, the familiarity that he will forever associate with the butterflies he still gets in his stomach, even after all these years together.

A look becomes a relived memory. A breath becomes a sigh. Fingers tighten against skin, and one, no way of knowing which, closes the space between them.

Their eyes are still open when their lips connect, a gradual closing as the kiss deepens. They are one again, and again and again, as they kiss, break apart for air, and kiss again.

Heat between them surpasses that of their tropical hideaway, and soon their exposed skin is smashed together, chest to chest, stomach to stomach, each of their swollen members rubbing against the other’s sending shocks of pleasure through their bodies.

One pulls back suddenly, watches with dilated pupils as the other takes slower and deeper breaths. He smiles, his hand resting against his lover’s cheek.

“Your beard’s getting long,” he says, tugging lightly at the reddish brown signs of aging that only make the wearer more handsome in his eyes.

“Yours too,” the other says after a beat, breathing now returned to normal, a small smile playing at his lips. He returns his partner’s head to his chest, feels his arms tighten around him, as a light breeze dances across their tanned skin.

They drift away to sleep, enclosed in the serenity of their own little world.