Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

// late friday night //

chuck taylors enthusiast created a group

chuck taylors enthusiast added ram-paige

chuck taylors enthusiast added k8lyn

chuck taylors enthusiast added bayley!

chuck taylors enthusiast added little miss bliss

k8lyn: you little piece of shit it,s fucjen 3am

chuck taylors enthusiast: don't fucking worry about it why did you have to interrupt me and my adding people spree

ram-paige: lmao what the fuck are u doing

chuck taylors enthusiast: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

chuck taylors enthusiast added chicago made

ram-paige: wait if you're adding your so i wanna add mine tf

ram-paige added foxy

chuck taylors enthusiast: feel fucking FREE to add any of our friends lmao

k8lyn: should we just add nattie rn or do we let lexi do it when she wakes up

chuck taylors enthusiast: aw let lexi do it 🥺

chuck taylors enthusiast added biggie

biggie: GROUP??????

chuck taylors enthusiast: WHY ARE YOU NOT SLEEPING!!!

biggie: SORRY MOM

k8lyn: EEEEEEE

biggie: KATEEEEE

biggie: WHAT'S THIS ABOUT

k8lyn: IDK I GUESS AJ WANTS A SQUAD GROUP CHAT

biggie: OH THEN LET ME ADD MY SQUAD?!?!?!?!

chuck taylors enthusiast: YEAH PLEASE DO

biggie added kofi k

biggie added xav

xav: GROUPCHAT??? W NO WARNING????

chuck taylors enthusiast: YEAH DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT GODDAMN

chuck taylors enthusiast named the group "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT"

k8lyn: aight wait let me just

k8lyn added seth freakin rollins

chuck taylors enthusiast: ew :/ problematic pick

k8lyn: stfu lmao u lichrally added paige

ram-paige: SORRY??? BRO? I'M SORRY?????

chuck taylors enthusiast: her british bitchass probably going Exchewse mey???? rn

ram-paige: BROOOO UNPROMPTED?? JUST LIKE THAT?

ram-paige: yeah ok YEAH SO UHH ANYWAY. FUCK YOU ALL

ram-paige added big bex energy

big bex energy: HEY PAIGE SAID WE'RE ADDING FRIENDS! AND I SEE BAY'S ALREADY HERE SO!

chuck taylors enthusiast: HELL YEAH BEX THAT'S THE ENERGY

big bex energy added the bo$$

big bex energy added queen charlotte

k8lyn: noah fence but that name sucks.... smells like rich kid in here

big bex energy: AUDJSIISJFE I MEAN YOU'RE NOT WRONG,

big bex energy added ambrose

chuck taylors enthusiast: I WAS LICHRALLY ABOUT TO ADD HIM TOO JSJDKSJFKA

biggie: let me add his mans before he freaks out

biggie added roman

big bex energy: anyone else 👀

k8lyn: no. now here's a concept. this is enough people for now. we all go to sleep. if tomorrow someone has more ideas we'll add more people. you let me have peace

chuck taylors enthusiast: thinking......... .. pondering.. . . .. ....

k8lyn: i know i've told u this before and believe me i mean it everytime. i will break lockdown to come fucking deck u mendez

chuck taylors enthusiast: i hope u do 👀

chuck taylors enthusiast: jk lmao ok i'm going to sleep goodnight everyone xx

ram-paige: same gn!!

biggie: GOODNIGHT

// next morning //

bayley!: HELLO???? GOOD MORNING?????

kofi k: YOOOOOO

little miss bliss: what's up w this omg!!! hi!!

chuck taylors enthusiast: I JUST WANTED A GROUPCHAT FOR THE SQUAD :( BC I MISS YOU

ambrose: aww april that's not normal of you

chuck taylors enthusiast: what the FUCK are u trying to imply ambrose 🔪

chuck taylors enthusiast: no but i mean. i have so many groupchats for all my classes now and they're always blowing up w texts. and they're so fucking annoying. i want at least one groupchat that brings me joy xx

chicago made: lockdown's making her very nostalgic and emotional

chuck taylors enthusiast: i suddenly miss and yearn for every person i've ever locked eyes with

bayley!: ok but same

ambrose: wait aj are u and punk quarantining together?

chicago made: yea lmao i'm staying @ her house

chicago made: fun fact her siblings are so much funnier than her

chuck taylors enthusiast: hey don't be a piece of shit

chuck taylors enthusiast: my sister's so butthurt bc she's not quarantining w her gf but i've got my bf around <3 suck it up erica

chicago made: if u even fucking look at erica i will stomp you to death with my hooves

chuck taylors enthusiast: shut the fuck up

bayley!: anyway

bayley!: i'm quarantining w mella too! who else! is anyone else w someone?

ambrose: i'm w roman and the twins and naomi but i've kinda unofficially lived here for months anyway

roman: yea it's bomb

ambrose: oh good morning you took u long enough to check your phone

roman: I WAS MAKING YOU BREAKFAST???? AND THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME????

ambrose: you'll see how i thank you after class ends

big bex energy:

foxy: same

foxy: me & paige are together too <3

little miss bliss: i'm staying w nattie!! should i add her?

k8lyn: PLEASE

little miss bliss added natbynature

natbynature: HI EVERYONE

little miss bliss: <3

the bo$$: wait dean and/or roman add my girl naomi pls

the bo$$: and the twins too ig lmao

xav: YEAH ADD THE TWINS

roman: oh no

roman added jimmy uce

roman added ucey jucey

roman added feeltheglow

jimmy uce: WHASSUUUUP

xav: YEAAAAAH

ucey jucey: NOW WE CAN START FUCKIN WILDING BROS

feeltheglow: HEY SASHA 💙

the bo$$: HEY QUEEN 💚

ram-paige: the way the energy levels instantly skyrocketed aidkskfjakfk

natbynature: hi!!

feeltheglow: 💕💕💕

k8lyn: how are you all managing living together lmao

big bex energy: YEAH HOW ARE Y'ALL'S PARENTS DEALING W THIS :/

roman: well my parents got the bigger house so the twins naomi my aunt and uncle are staying here and it's great honestly ? the parents are doing fine for now but i do expect them to go fucking crazy in a month or two

ambrose: in short rich people stuff

roman: i know and i'm sorry

ucey jucey: we're fucking angels ok rome

feeltheglow: me and dean are just vibing w the fam

ambrose: yeah it's great tbh lmao how's everyone else?

biggie: me and kofi are staying at xavier's lmao

kofi k: we ended up picking his house just bc he didn't wanna move all of his gaming set up and he wasn't gonna spend god knows how long without gaming

seth freakin rollins: fair

seth freakin rollins: hi everyone why do i have 356789 texts

ambrose: ew i didn't notice he was here

k8lyn: lmao sorry dean i added him 😔🤙🏻

chuck taylors enthusiast: see what i told u k8? problematic pick

k8lyn: sorry but hoes that bleach half of their hair together die together 😔🤙🏻

seth freakin rollins: i came out to play videogames and i'm honestly feeling so attacked right now

roman: good

xav: will you three have beef forever

ambrose: yes

roman: yes

little miss bliss: to be fair isn't dean a sagittarius

ambrose: alexa with all due respect what the fuck does that mean

little miss bliss: adfhklges you just tend to be petty and vengeful!

chicago made: wig 

feeltheglow: idk i don't see that

big bex energy: i mean it fits dean. but you're special <3

feeltheglow: aww hell yeah <3

seth freakin rollins: not to ruin the mood but does anyone have any zoom class rn and is anyone planning to pay attention,

ambrose: god will you shut the fuck up

seth freakin rollins: how about you shut the fuck up???

roman: i swear to god if you talk to him again i'm gonna be willing to get fined just so i can come kick your ass

ambrose: my man <3

seth freakin rollins: this is two on one that's no fucking fair

seth freakin rollins added p1

ambrose: who the fuck is p1

p1: aj styles

ambrose: this keeps getting fucking worse

p1: fuck off

kofi k: not to pull a seth rn but,,,, seriously anyone has class

kofi k: i know me and roman have the same class in like 10 mins

the bo$$: me and mella have that class too 🙄 ew

bayley!: if you talk shit about my gf again

bayley! added mella💎

the bo$$: ew who has emojis in their name

mella💎: i heard you been talking shit as usual

natbynature: the girls are fightinggg :(

biggie: STOP can't you see you're upsetting mom >:(

ram-paige: everyone's being such an asshole just drop it ugh this is a friend zone

chuck taylors enthusiast: i hate you paige

ram-paige: die

roman: yea uh. shut up i have english class rn. don't blow up my phone

ambrose: what if i blow you just out of frame rn

the bo$$: did you really just say that. are you insane are you on crack

ambrose: it's gonna happen at some point just you wait

ucey jucey: dean that's my cousin

ambrose: look away bro

jimmy uce:

roman: dean. honey. baby boy. love of my life. why would you say that in a groupchat with all our friends and most importantly my cousins. baby what's not fucking clicking

ambrose: :/ sorry ddujdkdkdka

bayley!: did he just have a stroke

feeltheglow: roman grabbed the phone out his hands lmao i don't think i wanna know what dean was gonna write :-)

ambrose: FUCK OFF EVERYONE i have class next hour i'm BORED and none of my samoans + naomi can entertain me rn so i think i will cause problems until my class starts. ruin roman's class instead. make y'all have some fun

the bo$$: yeah please

big bex energy: wait dean didn't we have chem class now

chicago made: no bro they moved it i'm in that class too

xav: ^ same

big bex energy: oh fuck's sake

big bex energy: i guess i gotta annoy sasha's class too then

ambrose: YEAH SISTER BROTHER BONDING ACTIVITY

chuck taylors enthusiast: but dean... i thought we were bros....

big bex energy: sorry this is red hair supremacy

mella💎: i mean..... maybe dean can have two sisters. as a treat

bayley!: wait i want in too

mella💎: three sisters****

ambrose: yeah fuck it i'm gonna hoard sisters anyone else wanna hop in

feeltheglow: i'm already ur cous so we good xx

chuck taylors enthusiast: gang

bayley!: gang

p1: me and seth have maths rn who wants to ruin this class

feeltheglow: i'm in that class too but i don't wanna ruin my reputation xx

ram-paige: i was thinking abt blasting some shitty music

seth freakin rollins: great absolutely fucking ideal

foxy: wait we have zoom ?

chuck taylors enthusiast: what? yes? y. sorry but where the fuck have you been

foxy: WHAT i'm still adjusting to this new situation ok :( i'm still confused :(!!!!

chuck taylors enthusiast: yeah i mean after all it's only been a fucking week

ram-paige: hey don't jump my bimbo queen like that

foxy: yeah tell her :(

seth freakin rollins: none of you has brain in here

ambrose: thinking abt crashing naomi's class so i can mess things up for rollins instead

seth freakin rollins: mind your fucking business weren't u gonna blow ur boyfriend

roman: i thought i said leave him alone????

p1: why don't u and ambrose back off instead

xav: i repeat THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG

ram-paige: ugh men

ram-paige: anyway should i blast cotton eyed joe or stayin alive

ram-paige: alicia also suggested rasputin

p1: i'm sorry i thought you said you were gonna play shitty music???

big bex energy: i'm sorry but are you my dad? are you 50 years old allen?

p1: bye

xav: i was thinking i was gonna edit my voice and make myself sound really weird when my class starts

chicago made: hell yeah fuck it up

natbynature: you are all menaces

Chapter Text

// friday but later in the day //

bayley!: hey i need everyone to know that an idiot in my class rn forgot to turn off mic & camera and is now playing guitar like it's nothing

bayley!: teacher wanted to play it cool at first and wait for him to realize but now idk.... i think she's kinda into it

natbynature: oh? true love? 

bayley!: yea maybee.......

little miss bliss: bay could it be... elias playing

bayley!: OH FUCK YEAH IT'S HIM

the bo$$: YOU DEADASS DIDN'T RECOGNIZE HIM????

big bex energy: YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER READING HIS NAME??

bayley!: I DIDN'T CAREEEE

feeltheglow: DIDN'T YOU GET PAIRED UP W HIM A FEW YEARS BACK FOR THAT ONE PROJECT??? 

bayley!: YEAH I GUESS BUT 

bayley!: LISTEN I'M NOT PAYING ATTENTION OK

mella💎: i'm distracting

the bo$$: sure u are sweetie

bayley!: you really are babe 

mella💎: sasha i'm gonna kick ur teeth in one day

big bex energy: ok everyone let's fucking calm down

roman: jesus christ girls

k8lyn: some of y'all could use a fuckin tranquilizer

ram-paige: where tf did u vanish to

k8lyn: i fuckin fell asleep and missed like two classes

chuck taylors enthusiast: that's it from now on everytime you disappear i'll call u to check up 

chuck taylors enthusiast: and hopefully to annoy u too

k8lyn: oh april you're always annoying sweetheart

chuck taylors enthusiast: thank u <3

xav: is everyone done w classes for today?

bayley!: i'm pretty sure me and the twins have this one more to go and everyone else's done?

ucey jucey: yea we're close to the end of the first week kids

ambrose: and i'm already fucking tired of this

natbynature: here's hoping it doesn't last for too long :(

mella💎: i'm spiritually clinking your glass w mine rn 

kofi k: yea same 

kofi k: 🥂

kofi k: how's this first week been y'all?

big bex energy: well one of my teachers realized gays exist in his class

the bo$$: i feel like they've been underestimating how many of us there is in the School lmaooo

little miss bliss: wait what happened tho 👀

jimmy uce: also which teacher tho 👀

big bex energy: it was fuckin jbl lmao he noticed sasha's hair in the bg and he was like oh why are u w miss banks!! and i was like. we're quarantining together king. and he was like oh that's so sweet u must be such good friends!! and i was like sir we're dating

bayley!: people are gay john

the bo$$: he was so shook lmao

ram-paige: do u reckon he's home of phobic

big bex energy: i mean he wears cowboy hats unironically doesn't he

natbynature: 😬

roman: how are u kofi

kofi k: :)))) i'm chilling thank u!!

kofi k: we've been stuffing ourselves w pancakes so fuckin much y'all

biggie: brought to you by yours truly, me xx

chuck taylors enthusiast: damn i miss e's pancakes :( 

biggie: and i miss making you pancakes :( 

xav: we'll eat extra ones for u april

chuck taylors enthusiast: don't even say it 

feeltheglow: roman's mom and the twins' mom try to one up each other w the food all the time we're all fucking stuffed

ucey jucey: it's no real fight bc after all we know our dad's the real best cook so

jimmy uce: y'all it's only been a week but the way we've all gained weight already..... OOF

roman: except dean somehow he eats like an animal but still looks the same

ambrose: hey naomi hasn't changed much either

feeltheglow: yea but that's because i've been limiting myself king

the bo$$: roman weren't u happy abt dean staying the same last time we talked

roman: yeah cause his waist's fuckin hot 

biggie: WHOA WHOA WHOA NOW CALM DOWN MY GOOD SIR THIS IS THE HORNY POLICE 

ambrose: no let him talk :) 

little miss bliss: 😳😳😳 roman........ you're truly unhinged

roman: shut UP everyone give me a BREAK

ambrose: you know,,, having the whole family over,,, everyone being in the house 24/7,,,,, it's getting harder and harder to. you know. f word

ucey jucey: oh so that's why he's so bitchy sometimes??? i thought he was mad at me bro 

roman: no dean's talking bullshit don't listen to him

roman: we did it last night in our room's bathroom i literally don't know where he's getting this from

roman: like i don't wanna be weird saying this i just want to prove that he's talking bullshit

chuck taylors enthusiast: oh so that's why dean didn't interact when the group chat was born. i was thinking it was weird of him to be asleep already but. he just simply Wasn't asleep

jimmy uce: ok. that makes sense but like. honestly? i was happier when i didn't know xx

ucey jucey: ^^^

roman: sorry you're right

ambrose: SHUT UP we used to do it everyday and now wejdhdjdjd

ambrose: STOP STEALING MY FUCKING PHONE AND ADMIT YOU'RE FRUSTRATED ABT THE CHANGE OF ROUTINE

k8lyn: wow i really hate this conversation :)

roman: ME TOO 

big bex energy: ???? why are u two struggling me and sasha have been going at it more than we used to 

chicago made: weird flex but. ok

ram-paige: 

the bo$$: lockdown's treating us too well :))) 

bayley!:

bayley!: can you horny fucks stop talking abt s*x this is a christian group chat

chuck taylors enthusiast: as the creator of the group chat i call bullshit anyone wanna expose their kinks now

natbynature: the people i see typing better stop immediately

foxy: fishnets good

little miss bliss: oh ok sorry nattie 

ambrose: where do i start

chicago made: getting slapped maybe

the bo$$: dirty talking

natbynature: i hope you all know i am deeply ashamed you're all going to hell except you lexi <3

little miss bliss: 🥰🥰🥰

ram-paige: who would have thought mom's kink was kinkshaming

natbynature: BE QUIET PAIGE

bayley!: YOU'RE ALL BASTARDS I WANTED TO PROVIDE AN UPDATE ON THE ELIAS PLAYING GUITAR SITUATION BUT I GUESS YOU DON'T DESERVE IT

k8lyn: NOOOOO PLEASE BAYLEY WE CAN'T ALL SUFFER BECAUSE OF FOUR BASTARDS

bayley!: you're right k8. here comes then

xav: 👀👀👀👀👀

bayley!: the class is almost over and he hasn't realized yet so the teacher had to fully call him out publicly and he dropped the guitar trying to pretend he'd been just sitting there all along BUT YOU COULD SEE THE REALIZATION ON HIS FACE

little miss bliss: GET HIS AAASS

bayley!: he was going thru the 5 stages of grief realizing he had been jamming for the past fuckin. 30 mins w mic and camera on and there was no way to lie out of it

bayley!: plus we all heard the guitar hitting the floor when he dropped it. it was painful

seth freakin rollins: GET FUCKING REKT

bayley!: cringe of u to say that but ok

bayley!: and then the teacher asked him to spend extra time on zoom to catch up w the pages he just missed lmao

bayley!: but obviously all of us went ;) get some

bayley!: bc you know. there was already some jokes abt teacher being into It

jimmy uce: i love that i was there for the ride and watched it happen in real time but i still sat down to listen to the story

ucey jucey: same lmao

mella💎: what can i say she's a great storyteller <3 

chicago made: maybe we should add guitar boy some time

chicago made: see if he ever got some..

ambrose: i've had beef w guitar boy

big bex energy: what for this time.

ambrose: he didn't wanna play me acdc

big bex energy: did u consider. he is not a jukebox

ambrose: well what's a guitar for then???? 

roman: baby you've had beef with everyone in the world

ambrose: fair

ambrose: except you <3

ucey jucey: AND us

ambrose: yeah:) everyone except the fam

chuck taylors enthusiast: can't believe the squad's being soft for once

biggie: are you proud of us mom

chuck taylors enthusiast: yea :)

natbynature: wait i thought i was mom???

chuck taylors enthusiast: ????? square up nattie

little miss bliss: NO

biggie: WAIT aj's only MY mom. nattie's universal mom

natbynature: YEAH I LOVE THAT

chuck taylors enthusiast: ME TOO BUT I NEED TO POINT OUT THAT BAYLEY'S MY DAUGHTER TOO

bayley!: you're not my real mom

chuck taylors enthusiast: little shit

ram-paige changed natbynature's name to universal mom

universal mom: ADGJHTFD WAIT BUT I LIKED MY OLD NAME

ram-paige: WELL. YOU'LL KEEP UNIVERSAL MOM FOR NOW. PLEASE

universal mom: DAMN ok 

big bex energy: ok but. if me and bayley and dean are sibs. does it make aj our m

big bex energy: WAIT AJ'S A SISTER TOO???

chuck taylors enthusiast: sweetie you're thinking about this too much xx stop xx

p1: a bit late to the convo but. i know you were talking abt april but seeing discourse abt aj being a mom my flight or fight got triggered

xav: i mean. respectfully. have you seen your hair

ambrose: DAMN

big bex energy: but NOW we said it

p1: I'M ABOUT. TO START BREAKING STUFF

seth freakin rollins: please don't ruin the house

kofi k: petition for aj the second to get some anger management therapy????

p1: AJ THE SECOND???? Y'ALL ARE TESTING ME!!!!!!!

seth freakin rollins: can we settle on calling him allen and the other aj can keep aj

chuck taylors enthusiast: the other aj???? the other my ASS i'm the ORIGINAL

chuck taylors enthusiast changed p1's name to aj the second

foxy: aight bros i'm gonna be real w yous rn i'm not a fan of all the name changing you're doing today i'm still struggling to remember the nicknames as they are

the bo$$: she has a point i can't be bothered to remember all this

aj the second: I'M FUMING

aj the second changed their name to p1

p1: AND DON'T TOUCH IT AGAIN

chuck taylors enthusiast: sorry mom

seth freakin rollins: stop it i'm the one who's gonna have to deal w him in person and i'm not looking forward to it

k8lyn: cringe

feeltheglow: anyway. on the twins and bayley's behalf i am announcing their class is over and we are all officially done with our first week of online classes

little miss bliss: WOOOOO

mella💎: i feel like we should toast

xav: mella are you developing alcoholism

mella💎: n

mella💎: am i

mella💎: bay do you think i'm developing alcoholism

bayley!: no u just. enjoy a good bubble

mella💎: yeah >:(

queen charlotte: i'm sorry but what's this group chat and why do i have almost 500 texts from this alone

chuck taylors enthusiast: lockdown squad 

big bex energy: friends zone

ram-paige: gang

queen charlotte: i think i'll leave? respectfully?

jimmy uce: are you saying we're too annoying

queen charlotte: yeah kinda

ucey jucey: o: 

queen charlotte: i mean i already have enough group chats i have to keep an eye on for school stuff you know 

chuck taylors enthusiast: >when this gc exists only because i didn't wanna pay attention to the school related group chats,, 

queen charlotte: this is why you're not top of the class

chuck taylors enthusiast: it's true but you shouldn't say it

queen charlotte: i also have my gf over and she's distracting enough so <3

queen charlotte: don't hold it against me but i'll leave this group chat i hope you all have fun tho <3

queen charlotte left the group

bayley!: bitch

big bex energy: bitch

the bo$$: bitch

roman: hey don't be rude

big bex energy: we have a godsent right and duty to be rude to each other 

bayley!: yeah it's clearly written in the four horsewomen rules

roman: oh my bad then

the bo$$: yeah shut up roman

ambrose: sasha i'm abt to throw hands ?????? how dare u talk to him that way 

the bo$$: TRY ME

big bex energy: sasha honey you're too short for this

the bo$$: are you asking me to break up rn. cause that's what i'm hearing bitch

big bex energy: FUCK NO 

the bo$$: right. thought so

chuck taylors enthusiast: fuck yeah top her short queens rights

little miss bliss: is topping someone short queen rights????? 

chuck taylors enthusiast: y. yeah. 

little miss bliss: then i'm not getting rights :(

ram-paige: WELL you're getting topped by miss natalya??? so who's winning really 

little miss bliss: me >:)))

universal mom: 😳😳😳 lexi..... sh....

little miss bliss: 🤭

biggie: moving on,

biggie: for real would anyone mind spending a little more time on zoom rn? maybe we could..... toast for real.... 👉👈 unless 😳

mella💎: I'M IN

chuck taylors enthusiast: aight i'll go grab some fuckin tea for my straight edge boyf and i'm in <3

Chapter Text

// saturday //

kofi k: good morning squad

the bo$$: it's. 11am

kofi k: >implying that at least some people aren't waking up just now 

ambrose: he's right

bayley!: he's right

big bex energy: today i regret quarantining w sasha cause her sleeping schedule's better than mine and she wakes up early well rested and all and pulls me out of bed and i'm. i'm just

the bo$$: you'll get used to it

ambrose: that's criminal sasha you are not allowed to date my sis anymore

big bex energy: dean,,,, shut up

feeltheglow: that IS criminal tho if i woke jimmy up as early as i wake up i'd feel bad

the bo$$: WHY'S EVERYONE ALREADY UP MY ASS TODAY 

mella💎: u had it coming for being a bitch

the bo$$: u wanna go bald????? 

universal mom: it's too early for the girls to be fighting. please everyone shut up eat breakfast go back to bed idc just. don't do this already

little miss bliss: she's not a morning person

little miss bliss: i'm making her coffee rn tho it'll make her feel better :)

chuck taylors enthusiast: 🥺🥺 

little miss bliss: what i'm about to say might sound silly and. i understand that with the whole quarantining together deal we spend more time together than we ever did and it can't get better than this basically but. idk i miss getting gross coffee at the vending machine w her as soon as we walked into school y'know

k8lyn: fuck don't i know

k8lyn: i miss grabbing snacks w aj and meeting up in the bathroom when class got boring

chuck taylors enthusiast: aw kate :(

roman: oh no i'm getting nostalgic now

little miss bliss: what do you miss rome

roman: i miss. driving to school w dean. how he's so grumpy in the morning until he gets in the car and turns on the radio and screams along to literally any song it's playing. i miss picking up jimmy & jey on the way to school and being dumb in the car

ucey jucey: :/ yeah 

ucey jucey: i miss fucking around w xavier when jimmy was busy w naomi and e & kofi were busy w each other

biggie: 😳 wig

ambrose: i miss picking fights w teachers and getting kicked out of class 

roman: no you don't

ambrose: it's not the same online

ambrose: and. i miss showing up to roman's classes asking teachers if they could let him come out for a sec bc i needed to tell him Something Important and instead i just needed a makeout sesh

roman: but we can makeout all the time now

ambrose: IT'S NOT THE SAME :/

chicago made: yeah like. where's the flavor

chicago made: attempting some smooching in the back of the class trying really hard to not be Seen by teachers. i miss those vibes. the adrenaline

chuck taylors enthusiast: well now u can try to smooch me without being Seen by my dad it's almost the same 

chicago made: ok but see i'm not trying to challenge death

xav: you saps. fuck kissing i miss LAUGHING and having FUN in class and trying to hide THAT from teachers

ram-paige: oh damn y'all remember passing notes around :/ 

ram-paige: GUYS HOW ARE WE GONNA CHEAT DURING TESTS NOW OH NOOOO IT'S GONNA HIT DIFFERENT BUT IN A BAD WAY :(((

universal mom: NOOOO DON'T SAY THIS 😭😭😭

bayley!: don't give me shit for this but i miss gym class

big bex energy: you fucking jock

bayley!: AND WHAT ABOUT IT

bayley!: i miss baseball and track :/

mella💎: you could just fuckin zoom around the house maybe

bayley!: sure . thank u mella

bayley!: i was starting shit w bianca before we went in lockdown. i was starting a war. i miss that 

the bo$$: you can say you miss bianca it's ok

bayley!: I DON'T MISS BIANCA I DON'T LIKE HER

bayley!: I JUST MISS MAKING ENEMIES

p1: i was kinda making friends can u believe that

seth freakin rollins: no

seth freakin rollins: wait who ??? are you even talking about?????

p1: miz & morrison u know ?? 

chicago made: respectfully why were you making friends w miz & morrison. of all people

ambrose: u see punk. assholes and bitches are like moths to a flame 

foxy: 😬

p1: that why you're dating roman???? 

ambrose: no that's why you're dating seth

ambrose: also i'm going to crack every bone in your body 

seth freakin rollins: anyway don't b friends w miz & morrison haha ur so sexy xx

seth freakin rollins: i really don't wanna have to go on double dates w them

k8lyn: yea u & allen are annoying enough

seth freakin rollins: kate

k8lyn: yeah

ambrose: good job kate

foxy: wait so miz and morrison *are* dating??? confirmed?????

little miss bliss: yea it's been a little bit messy over the years but. they are dating. finally

foxy: but wait what about maryse :'(

biggie: YEAH WHAT ABOUT MARYSE :///

little miss bliss: :/ she's fine mostly it was a very chill break up they're still friends but y'kno :///

chuck taylors enthusiast: god about fuckin time she was bearding for him so hard

big bex energy: JSJFKSJFKS COME ON SHE WASN'T. BEARDING 

feeltheglow: why does lexi know all the gossip tho

little miss bliss: i know things :)

little miss bliss: also miz and maryse adopted me back in the day

big bex energy: who got custody of u in the divorce

little miss bliss: mom but i see dad and other dad on the weekends

ram-paige: i'm cryign wjhat the fuckg

k8lyn: so WHAT about maryse now

little miss bliss: well nattie was trying to set her up w someone asdhklhd if that's what you're asking

k8lyn: yea of course that's what i was asking lmao get her some

universal mom: yea my last attempt was lana but i don't know how that's gonna go given the. circumstances

k8lyn: well i hope she gets some either way

little miss bliss: same! 

mella💎: now. w that settled. who's charlotte dating i didn't hear about her dating anyone before yesterday???? 

bayley!: oh she's dating asuka now didn't i tell you

feeltheglow: ASUKA???!?!?!?! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN

bayley!: slowly then all at once

chuck taylors enthusiast: why are you referencing. what i think you're referencing

bayley!: if you say one more fuckin word you'll be as much of a fool for getting the ref as i am for making it

chuck taylors enthusiast: good point

xav: i hate the two of you so much

roman: what is going on

chuck taylors enthusiast: see the name of this groupchat

roman: ok,

roman: either way. i love seeing how many people got their shit sorted out and settled w someone before lockdown started love that for them

foxy: yea i never heard of this many people getting together at the same time!! it's so funny lmao

universal mom: yea it's been good motivation if anything :) 

ucey jucey: not for everyone everyone tho

jimmy uce: 🤨 hmm? 

ucey jucey: 🤷🏻‍♀️

feeltheglow: ok.....

jimmy uce: i'm about to keep my eyes & ears real open bro

ucey jucey: aight lmao

little miss bliss: oh more gossip 👀

ucey jucey: i'm just saying a lot of people got w someone in time for lockdown yes but NOT everyone that's ALL

xav: it's not that deep.jpg

jimmy uce: ok if u say so 👀

p1: u think i could add miz and morrison

ambrose: god shut up about miz and morrison

p1: fuck off??????

chuck taylors enthusiast: ok in theory y'all can add more or less whoever u want 

p1: i'll hit them up i was liking them

ram-paige: this is so random how did it even happen

p1: we were mad at the same guy 

seth freakin rollins: now that sounds more like u

bayley!: so i'm not the only one who's sad abt having to pause the war i was starting

p1: nah :-( 

bayley!: who were you starting wars with?

p1: drew mcyntire lmao 

roman: oh him 

roman: we've had wars before

universal mom: oh high school drama

big bex energy: yea holy shit has there always been so much stuff happening

little miss bliss: oh absolutely but i feel like you hear more about it these days 

universal mom: yea cause everyone's so bored and we'll take anything to spice it up

mella💎: my hot take for the next drama we hear about is that it's gonna be news from the other half of our school

mella💎: like next week we hear that kyle killed the other three guys of their squad or smth

the bo$$: SHUT UP IF ANYTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM I'D DIE 

xav: kyle would never kill his husband. but adam & roddy are on thin fucking ice

xav: especially adam

seth freakin rollins: i'd kill adam myself

chicago made: i think we'd ALL kill adam

chuck taylors enthusiast: didn't all four of them rent a place to quarantine together like 🥺 come on squad goals 

universal mom: yea mella don't wish bad things on them wtf :( 

mella💎: OK YOU'RE RIGHT I WAS JUST SAYING

little miss bliss: i agree w mella tho the next big news are def gonna come from their side

big bex energy: i hope the next gossip is that rhea & toni are dating

k8lyn: i hope that new girl w the green hair gets a gf she looks like she deserves it

feeltheglow: AMEN I AGREE 

biggie: we should add someone from there lmao so we can get news

bayley!: CAN I ADD FINN HE GOES THERE

seth freakin rollins: yeah 🥺

p1: YEAH

bayley! added demon prince 

ram-paige: ok and i thought I was edgy

demon prince: fair 

demon prince: where am i

demon prince: are you guys aware that a group chat named "don't worry about it" in all caps definitively won't make anyone feel safe

chuck taylors enthusiast: oh yeah i definitively took that into consideration

Chapter Text

// still saturday // 

big bex energy: HEY FINN!!!!!

demon prince: BECKY!!!!!!!!

the bo$$: it is He. the four horsewomen's favorite and only man.

the bo$$: our boy toy if you will

demon prince: OK NOW,,,,

demon prince: pls the other guys in my side of the school don't know me like that i'm a new person i've rebranded don't ruin my new reputation :(

bayley!: we will consider. can't promise we will be merciful

demon prince: ok bastard.

demon prince: and anyway why isn't charlotte in this groupchat!! tf

big bex energy: bc she's a little bitch 

the bo$$: she's too busy being a good student and getting topped by asuka to be here ig 😔🤙🏻

demon prince: ok but you didn't need to phrase it like that

the bo$$: i said what i said !!

big bex energy: i think sasha is being too horny i'll have to take care of that

roman: can you stop being unhinged like this

demon prince: yea. hi rome

roman: hey finn

ambrose: sup finn are u still not eating any carb not even to cope in these trying times

demon prince: i have to say i've caved in at times 😔🤙🏻 does roman still smell good

roman: what

ambrose: as good as ever

ambrose: when we're allowed to go out again i need to take finn somewhere nice and make him eat a whole donut

demon prince: you never forget huh

ram-paige: i propose squad date based on donuts

demon prince: FUCK yeah

xav: hey finn!!!!!!!

demon prince: hey xavier!!!

demon prince: :))) i don't know why i was worried abt getting added here i like you all a lot

chuck taylors enthusiast: see >:( don't judge a groupchat by its creepy name

demon prince: you're right. but also like. don't name your groupchat something creepy ? maybe?

chuck taylors enthusiast: no

demon prince: right. i'll fuck off then

p1: HEY FINN!!!!!

seth freakin rollins: BROOOOOO 

demon prince: MOM AND DAD 

p1: NO!!!!!!!!!

demon prince: DAMN i haven't seen some of you in a while. i miss going where y'all go :/

biggie: yea you had to turn ur back on our wretched side

demon prince: u do see why tho

biggie: of course lmao good for u

big bex energy: are u thriving now finn?

demon prince: very much so!

universal mom: then we're GOOD

little miss bliss: and speaking of which. what's the tea over there

demon prince: what

mella💎: do you think kyle is going to kill the other three

demon prince: uh no i think he's gonna kill me or get himself killed in the process

mella💎: cool

bayley!: i thought you were friends now ???

demon prince: it's a love hate relationship we can't settle

big bex energy: ok do you think rhea and toni will date

demon prince: i'll tell you a secret. they've been dating on and off for a while. they're complicated

big bex energy: OH????????

demon prince: yea they say lockdown's gonna make or break them 😔🤙🏻 they're already regretting not quarantining together so much tho so i think they'll be good

big bex energy: FUCK YEAH I GOTTA GO TELL CHARLOTTE

chuck taylors enthusiast: THAT'S WHAT SHE GETS FOR DUMPING US 

demon prince: DAMN RIGHT

k8lyn: HEY FINN DO YOU THINK THE NEW GIRL W GREEN HAIR IS GONNA GET A GF

demon prince: shotzi???? she's been here. for a while? she hasn't qualified as the new girl in a while??

k8lyn: WELL SHE'S THE NEWEST

demon prince: kate! you're really not up to date!

k8lyn: TIME IS A JOKE IN THIS PANDEMIC!

demon prince: GOOD POINT!!!! ANYWAY i think maybe ember was trying to make a move on her but we don't know. it's not clear yet. we are all waiting for her to get a gf tho that much i can assure

k8lyn: FUCK IT UP!!!!

little miss bliss: oh yes ember as in the other person who turned her back on us to join the cool kids side >:( 

ambrose: oh don't be so bitter lex

little miss bliss: i'm not bitter i just miss her :(

demon prince: aw lexi you want me to add her? 

universal mom: RIGHT WHY HAVEN'T WE ADDED HER YET

ram-paige: YEAH SO WE HAVE MORE PEOPLE TO GIVE US THE TEA

demon prince added shenom

little miss bliss: EMBER!!!!

shenom: HI LEXI!! <3<3<3

feeltheglow: IS IT TRUE THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO WOO THE NEW GIRL 

shenom: 😳😳😳 finn if you don't learn to shut the fuck up in the next 5 minutes

demon prince: THEY WANTED THE TEA!!! 

shenom: THIS IS WHY KYLE DOESN'T FUCKING LIKE YOU

shenom: anyway. i will pretend i do not see that <3 how's lockdown going for y'all!

feeltheglow: it's lowkey rocking. a lot of us are quarantining with someone else. i'm sharing a house w the samoans and dean

shenom: sounds mildly traumatizing for the parents involved!

ucey jucey: why does everyone say this. we're GOOD KIDS

kofi k: yea you're just. energetic

seth freakin rollins: and also dean's there :/

roman: what's that fucking supposed to mean

shenom: ok so these three still have beef

mella💎: permanently. but it's entertaining

biggie: mella's becoming an alcoholic

mella💎: I'M NOT!!!!!!!!

p1: it's fucking hellish i'm losing my goddamn mind everyday i pick a fight w the dog to let my anger out and he always wins

universal mom: sometimes people are horny 

universal mom: oh wow u good there allen

seth freakin rollins: he's fine

k8lyn: it's going good. for now. we're having fun. we're coping. we're trying

chuck taylors enthusiast: our latest attempt at coping is gossip

bayley!: you call that coping??? we were just talking shit

chuck taylors enthusiast: it COULD be a coping mechanism you bastard. i'll call it whatever i want i am your MOTHER

big bex energy: don't look at me with that face on your face. or however that went

xav: i THINK we should watch movies together like in the weekends like right now 

bayley!: OH????? SAY MORE RIGHT NOW??

demon prince: o:!!!!!

xav: i think we should go on zoom and somebody should share their screen and we should just chill together while facetiming and pretend we're hanging out

ram-paige: there's a touch of depression to this text that is simply fitting. i love it 

shenom: i know i've been here for 10 seconds but i am very comfortable with the energy that we've created in the groupchat today. i'm so happy you added me :)

little miss bliss: 💖💖

chuck taylors enthusiast: :))) 

ram-paige: SO how was everyone's first online school weekend

ambrose: the way you worded that question gives me anxiety. today we made a cake

ucey jucey: we mentioned how our moms have been cooking so much right. they're making cakes everyday. they made one yesterday too. it's still in the fridge. they were talking abt what kind of cake they should make tomorrow

roman: in short they're starting to go mad way earlier than i thought

little miss bliss: well. we all gotta cope somehow. nattie's been cleaning everything in sight obsessively,,,, i'm mildly concerned ngl!

chicago made: WELL talking bout moms today aj's mom decided to pull out all the baby pictures and aj was absolutely bald in half of them

chuck taylors enthusiast: wow fuck off

biggie: was she cute tho.....

chicago made: no <3

chicago made: jk of course she was cute i love her

chuck taylors enthusiast: no i actually looked like a slug but thanks for being sweet sometimes phil <3

the bo$$: me and becky smashed

jimmy uce: ok

big bex energy: this is a flex on our bros dean & roman <3

roman: shut up. i've already said more than i should have said about this

ambrose: rome. respectfully. but if u don't bend me over tonight just out of spite for this CHALLENGE this PROVOCATION i'll be a bitch for the rest of the week

jimmy uce: ok

roman: dean stop putting me in this situation i'm begging you,,,,

ucey jucey: ok

xav: can we get an f for the twins

p1: fuckin f 

little miss bliss:  f 

k8lyn: f

mella💎: f

shenom: f

bayley!: ok but respectfully @ my fellow horsewomen how do u find the fucking time and space,,,,,,,

kofi k: RIGHT U WERE ONLINE JUST. A WHILE AGO AND YOU'RE ALREADY. YOU KNOW??????

big bex energy: i'm sorry if you can't do two things at once but we're different??? also we haven't texted in a hot sec. we're not ALWAYS online. kids these days

ram-paige: right in front of my salad.......

ram-paige: anyway. today i forced alicia to watch european metal bands live shows w me bc i miss home sometimes and i'm lowkey hyperfixating on some germans to cope <3

foxy: don't say forced i had fun!!

ram-paige: u don't have to lie honey <3

biggie: i beat kofi & xav at just dance like 7 times :) so then they decided to play mortal kombat without me :/

xav: this is so sad alexa play he had it comin he only had himself to blame

seth freakin rollins: allen yelled at the dog today. as mentioned. some of us are truly going batshit

seth freakin rollins: actually at first he was trying to pick fights w me but now he moved on

p1: leave me alone seth i'm struggling

seth freakin rollins: do you want to hit up drew on zoom so you can fight him like you used to

p1: :( maybe

chuck taylors enthusiasm: wow truly alarming. does anyone want my therapist's number

ram-paige: i think we ALL need therapy after this fuckin historical experience

jimmy uce: amen!

the bo$$: sorry to ruin the vibes but. are we watching a movie like xavier suggested yes or no 

little miss bliss: OH RIGHT 👀

ambrose: wait right now?? like immediately?? 

k8lyn: wait no i need a second to get my shit sorted out

shenom: yea tbh i think everyone needs some time lmao what if we meet in 30 mins?

chicago made: yea i think that works

foxy: yes yes yes !!!! 

mella💎: and what are we watching???

xav: i was thinking hereditary since becky doesn't know the i am your mother speech by heart >:(

big bex energy: well i'm SORRY i didn't know that was a fuckin requirement for this gc. bitch

xav: DON'T YOU SWEAR AT ME YOU LITTLE SHIT 

the bo$$: yea so. anyway. if we're all ok w that movie me & becky will do the share screen thing lmao

chuck taylors enthusiast: yea i'm cool!

feeltheglow: same here!!!

bayley!: yep

universal mom: let's say we're all cool w it & if not we'll just decide when we're on zoom k?

k8lyn: agreed

xav: PERFECT see y'all later <3

Chapter Text

// saturday really late //

xav: so 

ambrose: right.

chuck taylors enthusiast: what a movie am i right

p1: that was fucked up i'll tell you that

universal mom: i feel like a changed woman

chuck taylors enthusiast: punk fell asleep in the middle of the finale,

ram-paige: THE FUCKING IDIOT OF COURSE HE DID 

roman: good for him 

ucey jucey: NO HE SHOULD HAVE SUFFERED LIKE THE REST OF US????

big bex energy: i would like to formally apoligize for giving xavier the idea to watch this wretched movie

bayley!: do you at least know the dinner scene by heart now

big bex energy: don't you swear at me you little shit don't you EVER raise your voice at me i am your MOTHER you understand all i do is worry and slave and defend you and all i get back is that fucking FACE on your FACE 

the bo$$: yeah

feeltheglow: the idea that some of y'all watched this fuckin movie more than once. terrible concept

ram-paige: it grows on you

big bex energy: it really doesn't

chuck taylors enthusiast: it's the mommy issues

ambrose: fuckfck you're right

p1: ouf

demon prince: well. tonight slapped. i loved to see it

p1: of course you did

ram-paige: the edge lords are showing after this

kofi k: if we don't watch the cheesiest shit possible next week i'll do something that i won't even regret

big bex energy: and you'd be right too!

little miss bliss: well i loved it :) it was sick

k8lyn: that it was. sick. sure was sick. the connotation of the word sick in this context is up for interpretation

shenom: it sure was a uh. a filme

xav: STOP acting so shocked STOP acting so bewildered GET OVER IT

jimmy uce: fuck OFF xavier 

xav: D:

ucey jucey: calm down jimmy it's ok it's over 

feeltheglow: y'all broke jimmy tonight 😔😔😔😔

bayley!: well. if i have nightmares tonight consider yourselves fucked up

bayley!: i wish everyone goodnight and sweet dreams except whoever enjoyed it

chuck taylors enthusiast: ow :(((

mella💎: gn fuckers

ambrose: goodnight everyone i'm gonna see if rome's down to bend me over like i suggested today so i can shove it in becky and sasha's faces and also so i can get bent over which is always a fucking treat anyway

roman: jesus fuck deano

ambrose: twins look away

biggie: respectfully how can u stomach it after the movie

ambrose: i can't handle horror movies i need to be comforted and cheered up ok bitch

biggie: ok slut

ucey jucey: ngl i wish i was jared 19

jimmy uce: i'm just gonna stop reading any text dean sends from now on

roman: :/// sorry kids

the bo$$: >:) i hope he refuses to bend u over @dean

the bo$$: bitch

roman: hey don't call him that

ambrose: yea don't call me that >:(

big bex energy: how did we start a fuck war 

chuck taylors enthusiast: this is my least favorite combination of words that has ever been sent in this groupchat

k8lyn: what being on lockdown will do to a mf 😔

jimmy uce: right. me and jey are gonna knock each other out before we end up reading something that will fuck us up worse than the movie

ambrose: wise choice

feeltheglow: i'll follow them but pls if u and rome smash keep in mind i'm SLEEPING in the room next to yours xx be fuckin decent xx

biggie: i feel like we end up talking about dean and roman's sex life too much it's. i'm not a fan of it

roman: believe me i don't like this either jfc

ambrose: :) i like to flex and brag what can i say! i got the hottest boyfriend on the block. sex life's great. he's packing s

chuck taylors enthusiast: 

ambrose: he got my phone. i won't finish my sentence but you get what i mean. i simply NEED to brag

roman: you need to learn to be quiet

ambrose: make me

feeltheglow: 

ram-paige: bottom

k8lyn: yeah no shit sherlock????

ram-paige: fuck off

big bex energy: they're not online anymore which probably means dean's getting bent over 😔😔😔 we lost today @sasha

the bo$$: not if i also bend YOU over rn 

big bex energy: o: YOU'RE RIGHT

demon prince: jesus CHRIST people in here need to SLOW DOOOWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ram-paige: ESPECIALLY BEX AND SASHA LIKE BLOODY HELL TWO TIMES TODAY?????

the bo$$: dean & roman & EVERYONE ELSE IN HERE needs to step up their game <3 gn

seth freakin rollins: actually this groupchat sucks 

seth freakin rollins: see why i didn't wanna be friends w those two anymore

chuck taylors enthusiast: i know u feel like u can talk shit rn bc dean & rome are uh busy but i can still kick your ass about it

seth freakin rollins: you're shorter than the other aj what could you possibly do

chuck taylors enthusiast: BITCH

chuck taylors enthusiast: hi this is punk aj got so agitated abt u that she woke me up accidentally so i had to take her phone away and put her to sleep. i wish all seth rollins a very pleasant fuck off 

seth freakin rollins: why am i even in this groupchat

k8lyn: because i care you? :(

seth freakin rollins: aw ok :)

seth freakin rollins: goodnight to kate and allen only xx

demon prince: ok asshole goodnight!!

biggie: gn!

// next morning //

foxy: goodmorning bastards

the bo$$: right back at u?????

foxy: what's everyone doing today!!

feeltheglow: the mothers are making yet another cake. so that's a plan

the bo$$: WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY MAKING ALL THIS CAKE FOR!!!!

feeltheglow: TO COPE???? IDK IT'S GETTING CONCERNING NOBODY'S HUNGRY ENOUGH

foxy: AAAAAAAAAA

the bo$$: are we the only ones who are awake lmao 

big bex energy: to be fair who the fuck gets up early on sunday 

the bo$$: touche

bayley!: i'm up too!!!!!!

the bo$$: hi bitch

bayley!: sup asshole

big bex energy: did u have any nightmares bay?

bayley!: no! did dean get bent

big bex energy: he did :( but so did i :)

bayley!: i don't remember asking for that but cool!

the bo$$: :)

chuck taylors enthusiast: the way bex killed the conversation for two whole hours. good morning

demon prince: GOOD MORNING!!! 

universal mom: why's he always in a good mood..........

demon prince: to balance out my edgy ass nickname on this app!!!!

universal mom: OH!!!!

xav: e woke us up w pancakes this morning 🥺🥺🥺 like yea he's been making pancakes nearly everyday since lockdown started but. this was soft

kofi k: i lov him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺

chicago made: stop him he's raising the bar too much..... 

biggie: isjdjsjfjs you're not making my mother breakfast in bed everyday?????? are you even worthy of her phil????? 

chicago made: FUCK OFF!!

ambrose: good morning rome made me breakfast in bed too <3 

feeltheglow: well after last night,

ambrose: yea see he's the whole package <3 

bayley!: i feel like he had to bring you breakfast in bed bc you like can't stand up or something

ambrose: ok now,

ambrose: i AM a little sore but i can handle walking around. are you taking me for someone who's not used to this?????? cute

chuck taylors enthusiast: jesus christ. @punk when will you step up 

chicago made: ........

feeltheglow: i thank the heavens the twins fell asleep first bc. something was slamming against the wall

ambrose: yea the dresser

universal mom:  

roman: babe you know when i was telling you to be quiet last night

ambrose: oh yeah

roman: that still fucking applies

the bo$$: we fucked too btw. last night 

ambrose: GODDAMN?????

ambrose: ROME THEY'RE ONE POINT ABOVE US

roman: ok the three of you need to stop. i cannot be doing this all lockdown

roman: i mean i WILL fuck all lockdown but not as a fucking challenge

ambrose: oh thank god

big bex energy: HE'S RIGHT THO I WANNA DO IT OUT OF LOVE NOT SPITE!!!!!

little miss bliss: so romantic!!! xx

the bo$$: :( ok i will drop it

roman: amen

k8lyn: so in short. get some

chuck taylors enthusiast: you know what kate. i think you've been thinking abt Everyone Else Getting Some too much. what about YOU getting some.

ram-paige: YEAH.

k8lyn: in this pandemic?????????

ucey jucey: you can still get some via phone 

feeltheglow: are you talking from experience or what??? mr juice man?????

ucey jucey: WAS JUS SAYIN

little miss bliss: yea like ember's gonna get some from green hair girl digitally

shenom: ok you little bitch u better hope lockdown never ends bc i'll kill u for this

shenom: aND SHE HAS A NAME

little miss bliss: u owe me for this jey. she's gonna kill me because i tried to redirect everyone's attention away from u. i want a starbucks

ucey jucey: u a real one lex

jimmy uce: WHAT U HIDING BRO

ucey jucey: NOTHING!!!!!!

roman: jey u can't hide this forever we'll be stuck in the same house for a while it WILL come out one way or the other

ambrose: if you're getting some on the phone we'll find out

ucey jucey: GET OFF MY BACK

ram-paige: can we talk abt kate. can we pleaaaase talk abt kate

seth freakin rollins: yeah goddamn we need to get her some 

k8lyn: et tu seth................... you'll really stab anyone in the back huh

p1: 

seth freakin rollins: FUCK OFFFF

chuck taylors enthusiast: kate. unironically. if me paige nattie and seth try to find u someone. would u be ok w it

k8lyn: lmao NO!!!!!!!!!! DON'T BE FUCKIN WEIRD

chuck taylors enthusiast: YOU'RE A PIECE OF SHIT ASS

mella💎: anyway sorry to butt in but @people who have english class w me on tuesday did u get the texts saying she wants camera & mic open for a surprise test next time????

kofi k: WHAT!!!!

the bo$$: catch me shattering my fuckin camera

ambrose: wait who's that teacher again

the bo$$: fuckin mrs mcmahon

ambrose: tell her to choke

Chapter Text

// sunday but later //

chuck taylors enthusiast: oh my god oh my god i don't wanna do a test this tuesday what do i do oh my god oh my god

chicago made: first of all calm down,

chuck taylors enthusiast: i'm gonna tell her my phone's broken and i didn't see her texts about it and therefore i didn't study

mella💎: she'll pull a "we've been talking about this for WEEKS you should already KNOW the material even if i didn't announce a test have you not been paying ATTENTION"

chuck taylors enthusiast: I DON'T WANNA STUDY!!!!!

universal mom: YOU'RE IN SCHOOL

chuck taylors enthusiast: FUCK OFF

chuck taylors enthusiast: i am living a major historical event. i want to enjoy the ride. i am suffering trauma

k8lyn: you're a fucking idiot

chuck taylors enthusiast: also that

chuck taylors enthusiast: ok i'll tell her. the mic doesn't work

roman: april. honey. does anything work

roman: phone broke. mic broke. what's up w that

biggie: you are a broken woman

biggie: 😔🤙🏻

chuck taylors enthusiast: i sure am doe 😔🤙🏻

demon prince: just. a question. how is it a surprise test if she's telling you now it'll happen

the bo$$: she means surprise test as in we didn't plan it out together like a month earlier like we usually do

the bo$$: she gave us. a short warning. so surprise test

shenom: her classes seem easy when u put it like that

kofi k: oh no she's a bitch

feeltheglow: oh yeah

mella💎: yea we know

mella💎: she just really wants to be the cool hip teacher w the fresh alternative methods. clearly failing

seth freakin rollins: she is literally my mother

ambrose: and it shows

seth freakin rollins:

foxy: wait a second when you say. your mother. you mean .

seth freakin rollins: well. step mother

p1: steph mother

p1: am i right

xav: wow that. that sucked so bad

p1: listen i'm going thru some shit

chuck taylors enthusiast: EVERYBODY'S GOING THRU SOME SHIT BITCH LET'S GET YOU SOME GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR

p1: you little shit

big bex energy: i am going to die at y'all's hands today

seth freakin rollins: ignoring what my mans said. ANYWAY yeah in super short after steph and hunter divorced she started dating my dad so here we are

bayley!: i remember hearing abt the divorce when we were kids and being so curious abt who they'd end up dating next bc it was kind of insane imagining them w anyone else?? and. finding out steph was dating just some guy

seth freakin rollins: why are you all talking about my parents like this today

bayley!: RESPECTFULLY

bayley!: BUT LIKE. ON ONE SIDE HUNTER REMARRIES AND IT'S EVERYONE'S FAVORITE TEACHER. ON THE OTHER SIDE STEPH MARRIES. SOME GUY

bayley!: YOU DO SEE HOW THAT'S. UNDERWHELMING

seth freakin rollins: i GUESS i get what you're saying but like Shut Up?????

bayley!: SHKHFAGJGSJKFGI

jimmy uce: this gc is a fucking trainwreck and you're all dumb ❤❤

ram-paige: i often feel threatened by a red heart emoji

jimmy uce: ok

chicago made: april you little bitch this tuesday i'll keep a book around and i'll try to give u the answers to the surprise test. and never say i need to step up my game again

chuck taylors enthusiast: YOU'RE RIGHT YOU'RE PERFECT YOU'RE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER I'LL PUT A RING ON YOU I'LL COOK YOU DINNER TONIGHT

little miss bliss: love wins <3

k8lyn: booo you whores

the bo$$: really? dean and roman are right there

roman: I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T AT WAR ANYMORE????

the bo$$: we aren't i'm just a little bitch

bayley!: she's self aware!!!!!!!!

the bo$$: ha ha suck my dick

bayley!: no u

xav: epic roast

shenom: have you ever thought about being quiet

xav: not once no

shenom: please consider

universal mom: sometimes you guys get aggressive completely sorta unprompted and it alarms me

ram-paige: it's ok mom

biggie: no you're all trash can i add mine and kofi's other children

kofi k: @aj 👀

foxy: o other????

xav: yea i'm their main kid

xav: i'm the first born and the favorite

xav: but there's a couple more

biggie: ok now

chuck taylors enthusiast: ok let's say. you don't have to get MY permission jsjfjskf if everyone's chill w the people u wanna add just go ahead

k8lyn: wait who are they 👀👀

biggie: u know montez and angelo???

feeltheglow: OH?????

biggie: YEAH!!!!

demon prince: NICE

xav: i don't remember anyone being so excited when i got added. maybe i'm not the favorite after all

chuck taylors enthusiast: i think most of them were asleep when you got added

xav: irrelevant

chuck taylors enthusiast: no u

xav: ok. ok

kofi k: it's ok xavier we still love u

ucey jucey: yea bro

xav: :) thanks bro

jimmy uce: :)

xav: :)

biggie: :)

chuck taylors enthusiast: what the fuck ew. stop

biggie: ok lmao

biggie added dawks

biggie added tez

tez: GOOD FUCKING DAY EVERYONE

dawks: YEAAAAAAAAAH

little miss bliss: !!!!!

the bo$$: you either add my girl bianca or you leave right now

dawks: you really killed my mood sis but. fair

bayley!: NO

the bo$$: shut up

mella💎: it's ok baybee you can keep picking fights with her like this right?

bayley!: oh right. BRING HER IN

tez: hmm mixed reviews from the chat. here she comes anyway

tez added the est

bayley!: her and her dumbass nickname

the est: u got some problems??????

bayley!: you KNOW i got ALL the problems

bayley!: with you

bayley!: you're my problem

the bo$$: don't mind her she has problems in general

roman: you are all out of control

chicago made: wait roman seeing you just reminded me of something. did dean say he can't handle horror movies. like. did he confirm he's a pussy or did i dream it

roman: don't be fucking rude???????????????????

ambrose: YEAH????? >:( yes i can't handle horror movies WHAT about it phil at least my name's not phil

chicago made: BRO???????? FUCK OFF

chicago made: my gf's strap is bigger than your bf's dick

roman: ok we're starting to cross a line and it's happening very fast,

kofi k: can you please fucking behave for one second

kofi k: like can you PLEASE at least give the new comers time to fucking settle in before you hit them with this shit. UNBELIEVABLE

the est: WHAT THE FUCKCKKKFKFKDKFKKSKDKSJDNAD

biggie: i would like to apologize to dawks and tez and bianca. phil i hope you die

chuck taylors enthusiast: i mean is he wrong

ambrose: oh april honey

jimmy uce: SHUT UP!!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP DEAN SHUT UP SHUT UP BE QUIET BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING THAT WILL RUIN MY LIFE MORE THAN LAST NIGHT'S MOVIE

roman: 

feeltheglow: ok so he is still feeling the effects of hereditary

seth freakin rollins: wait PUNK GETS PEGGED?????????

chuck taylors enthusiast: :)

bayley!: is anyone surprised

ram-paige: no

biggie: no

ambrose: no

universal mom: no

seth freakin rollins: no

tez: no

chicago made: YOU LITERALLY JUST ENTERED THIS GC

tez: IT'S NOT LIKE I NEVER MET YOU BEFORE THO??????

chuck taylors enthusiast: :) i feel very flattered by this thanks besties

chicago made: what does this say about me

ambrose: don't worry about it

k8lyn: wack

chicago made: ok

xav: you people sure know how to make a good first impression huh

roman: oh goddamn

dawks: WJDKSKFJKSJX IT'S OK THIS WAS THE MOST BATSHIT THING I'VE EVER. JUST. EYE

tez: lockdown was making me feel dead so actually this was a good slap in the face to bring me back to life

demon prince: (can't wake up)

ram-paige: (SAVE MEEE)

tez: lame

mella💎: cringe

the est: i love it here already lmao i hope y'all keep this energy

the bo$$: oh it gets worse

big bex energy: you're lucky you joined after the end of the fuck war

tez: do i. wanna know

roman: no

tez: ok

kofi k: everyone shut up. please god fucking damn shut up for once

big bex energy: no!!!! fuck u

seth freakin rollins: yeah. so anyway bianca are you single

p1: ???????

seth freakin rollins: YOU MIND YOUR BUSINESS

k8lyn: seth istg

the est: uh???

seth freakin rollins: DON'T WORRY I HAVE A BOYFRIEND I'M NOT TRYING TO HIT ON YOU JUST ANSWER AFGHKKFDR

the est: after hanging out w montez and angelo as much as i do i need a break from relationships :)

dawks: what's that supposed to mean

the est: that the two of you are exasperating luv

tez: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

the est: that if i wasn't y'all's bff and if i didn't know y'all were dating i'd go mad trying to figure out if you're just good friends/pining/dating

dawks: lmao good point

tez: do you regret not quarantining with us bianca

the est: fuck no :)))

universal mom: SO YOU DON'T WANT A GF MAYBE???

the est: 😳 not rn not really sorry

k8lyn: NATTIE I CAN'T BE RUDE TO YOU BUT FUCK'S SAKE!!!!

the est: CAN I KNOW WHAT'S YOUR DEAL

ram-paige: WE'RE TRYING TO GET KATE SOME™

k8lyn: LEAVE ME ALONEEEE

ram-paige: FUCK YOU

k8lyn: bianca i am so sorry i have nothing to do w this

the est: i believe you lmao dw

tez: 👀

the est: tez honey huh-uh. put those eyes away before i gouge em out

tez: jesus fuckin christ ok

bayley!: you're unhinged

the est: i'll show you unhinged

roman: girls pls

mella💎: no let them go

dawks: ANYWAY what do you DO in here

little miss bliss: talk shit

ram-paige: get hit

ambrose: fuck around and find out

dawks: ok,

xav: movie night on saturdays xx

feeltheglow: we had a. rocky start for the movie night project but

tez: is this about hereditary lmao

jimmy uce: YEAH

ucey jucey: he didn't like it at all

jimmy uce: LIKE YOU DID?????

ucey jucey: NO I ALSO DIDN'T

big bex energy: let's just say. half of them weren't ready for it

the bo$$: fun fact! becky has not stopped reciting the dinner scene over and over now that she knows it all by heart. fuck off

xav: you're all fuckin BLOWING this out of proportion so hard

chuck taylors enthusiast: u talking abt dean???

ambrose: wow

ambrose: you really went for it didn't you

demon prince: i'm so tired. pls. give it a break

demon prince: 10 seconds without being horny please i beg

big bex energy: have you MET dean

ambrose: literally shut the fuck

roman: becky weren't you getting bent like 5 times a day or smth?? and you're trying to come for dean???

big bex energy: OK ROMAN TO THE RESCUE. I'LL SHUT UP THEN

the est: becky you were getting what

the bo$$: what

the est: i simply must clap for you sasha

the bo$$: :) thank you!!

chuck taylors enthusiast: that's a taste of the fuck war becky mentioned earlier xx

tez: i hate those words together so much

chuck taylors enthusiast: that's what i said!!!

demon prince: sometimes. i wish i wasn't in this gc

chuck taylors enthusiast: half of me wants to kick you out and the other half wants to keep you here out of spite

demon prince: who will win

demon prince: not me. that's for sure

the est: well at least i'm getting some entertainment to get me thru lockdown ig

bayley!: what is this the fucking circus

the bo$$: clearly

the bo$$: like sorry for siding w her bay but like. people in here do be clowns

xav: you can @ me it's ok 💖

the bo$$: yeah like @xavier here IS a clown

xav: turns out i don't like it

bayley!: WELL if bianca wants me to entertain her why is she not paying a fuckin ticket

the est: i'd consider it if you were any funny or smth but ://// you weren't gifted like that unfortunately. it's ok tho you can't have everything <3 i can tho

bayley!: when we go back to school i'm beating you at gym class so hard

the est: i can't wait to see you fucking try

tez: oh jesus

big bex energy: jocks

ram-paige: fucking losers all of you

bayley!: i'll put you thru a wall paige

universal mom: can someone calm down. like anyone at least one person wants to calm down maybe??? no one???

roman: yeah i'd like to calm down

kofi k: yea yea yea why don't we relax bros

k8lyn: because fuck you that's why!!!!!

biggie: i'll fuck u up next time i see you kate

k8lyn: perish!!!!!

demon prince: :)))))) i'm about to fucking snap :)))))

roman: guys PLEASE shut up

roman: why don't we do a little zoom call. a little hanging out moment. eat something drink something have a chat. have a good little time. please

mella💎: YEAH I LIKE WHEN WE DO ZOOMS WE SHOULD DO THEM MORE OFTEN!!!!

xav: so u have a good reason to cultivate your alcoholism?

mella💎: so i can cultivate my alcoholism.

dawks: should we....... should we drop some fs

mella💎: yeah 😔

tez: f

the est: f

bayley!: f

the bo$$: the only f i'm dropping for carmella is a fuck you or a fuck off

mella💎: i hope your hands fall off so you can stop texting stupid shit

roman: i thought i said we were gonna calm down

the bo$$: ok you're right. sorry dad

foxy: sorry dad lmao

shenom: SO zoom??? peaceful little zoom???

foxy: !!! happy little zoom as a treat

feeltheglow: good vibes only :)

little miss bliss: YEAH LIKE IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES BUT SOMETIMES IT'S GOOD TO REMEMBER THAT WE'RE FRIENDS AND THAT WE LIKE EACH OTHER :))))

shenom: YEAHHHH ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM

ram-paige: me trying to not make a joke abt how i like none of you besides my girlfriend 

big bex energy: WHY ARE YOU USING A PICTURE OF ME AS A REACTION PIC JAJDKSKDJSKDKSKD

ram-paige: 💖

roman: wow paige thank you for not making that joke

ram-paige: :)) i do my best i work very hard

universal mom: and i feel a partnership with roman starting in this chili tonight

ambrose: please elaborate or so help me god

universal mom: parent

foxy: understandable have a nice day

ambrose: wow nattie's ability to articulate is off the charts

universal mom: DON'T BE RUDE YOU GET WHAT I MEAN

universal mom: fellow parents. me and rome

shenom: wait GASP is roman being given the dad friend role......

roman: i'm not sure that i want it seeing how fucking feral my children (you all) would be

chuck taylors enthusiast: too late. nattie needs help. you're dad now

big bex energy: adagc (assigned dad at groupchat)

ambrose: oh yeah sure he's daddy

ucey jucey: i can't fucking believe

feeltheglow: jimmy is currently on the edge of a breakdown. jey looks like he's following. roman looks like he wants to cry. and dean's laughing like a fucking bastard. my inlaws are trying to understand what just happened

universal mom: oh no

the bo$$: thank you for narrating what goes down in the samoan household to the rest of us????? u a real one

p1: everytime naomi updates us like this it feels like a news anchorman cutting to the reporter on the scene

chicago made: like that one snl short

p1: sure bro. exactly like that

ambrose changed roman's name to daddy

feeltheglow: when one of them notices i will have to report another breakdown. dean you're a bitch

ambrose: I SURE AM

the est: so,,,,, zoom ??

Chapter Text

// monday morning //

demon prince: raise and shine sluts and bastards

demon prince: we have school!!!!!!

chuck taylors enthusiast: don't. fucking bring it up

demon prince: WE HAVE SCHOOL!!!!!!

Chapter Text

xav: ok so you fucking assholes

jimmy uce: sorry

biggie: sorry

kofi k: sorry

ucey jucey: i sure hope you're sorry????

jimmy uce: SORRY

xav: listen to me did you kick out anyone else or just me & jey??

jimmy uce: just you :(

xav: ok. fuck

ucey jucey: u got a reason????

xav: it's what we were saying it was gonna be j

ucey jucey: i KNOW but i wanna make sure :/

jimmy uce: we agreed that we won't bring it up first so 🤐🤐🤐

xav: you won't bring it up first????? you JUST kicked us out to talk abt it sjejfkancksjf BRO

jimmy uce: NOW'S DIFFERENT

universal mom: SORRY

daddy: sorry even tho i was sleeping thru it all

ucey jucey: SORRY MY ASS

xav: NOOOOO

xav: cmon we were gonna tell everyone anyway

ucey jucey: yea but whenever WE wanted to tell them

mella💎: IT'S JEY'S FAULT FOR HINTING AT IT

ucey jucey: OH??? SHUT UP

xav: YOU DID HINT AT IT DOE...

ucey jucey: YEAH. AND WHAT ABOUT IT. I CAN DO WHAT I WANT W MY BUSINESS

jimmy uce: WE JUST PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER BRO

biggie: THE TWO OF YOU ARE ALWAYS ON THE PHONE SO MUCH. """STUDYING"""" TOGETHER COME ON BOYS

xav: AAAAAAA

xav: YEAH WE'RE TOGETHER OK WE'RE DATING

ucey jucey: AAAAAAAA

daddy: AAAAAAAAA

ucey jucey: FUCK YOU AND YOUR NICKNAME

feeltheglow: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

xav: YOU ASSHOLES COULD HAVE JUST. LIKE. ASKED

xav: ESPECIALLY YOU @E @KOFI @JIMMY

kofi k: LEAVE ME ALONE I WANNA CRY

feeltheglow: the doors have finally been unlocked and everyone's hugging :) soft :) i will join in

chuck taylors enthusiast: WE'RE HONESTLY SORRY THAT THE REVEAL HAD TO BE SO UNGRACEFUL BUT WE'RE ALL SO HAPPY FOR YOU 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

big bex energy: YEAH!!! 🧡🧡🧡🧡

ucey jucey: HHHHHH WE KNOW

k8lyn: GET SOME!!!!! AS ALWAYS <3

mella💎: BITCH IT'S GETTING REPETITIVE

k8lyn: SUCK MY DICK

xav: AKRKSKFJKAKDAK

xav: FUCK IT CAN WE ZOOM AFTER CLASS

big bex energy: YOU DO KNOW THAT IF WE ZOOM YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SPILL ALL THE TEA AND TELL US EVERYTHING RIGHT

ucey jucey: YEAH WE KINDA CAN'T WAIT TO DO THAT

bayley!: FUCK YEAAAAH

foxy: "WE" 😭😭😭😭

little miss bliss: 😭😭😭😭😭 I WISH I COULD JUST. HUG

foxy: YEAH I'D CUDDLE THE TWO OF YOU SO BAD RN

xav: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

demon prince: i love tender tea 💖💖

little miss bliss: JANDJSKFJAKKF SHUT UP

the bo$$: ARE WE ALL DONE W CLASS IN THE NEXT 30 MINS ?

dawks: YEAAAAAAAAH

chuck taylors enthusiast: YEAH WE'RE ALL DONE SOON

chicago made: do u know everybody's schedule

chuck taylors enthusiast: uhhhhh

foxy: ????? BRO???? DO YOU????

chuck taylors enthusiast: PHIL U ASSHOLE WHY DID YOU ASK THAT

chicago made: i know what i'm doing

shenom: AJ WJDJAKRKWI??????

chuck taylors enthusiast: I JUST. NOTICE AND REMEMBER WHAT YOU SAY I SWEAR IT'S NOT ON PURPOSE

bayley!: OK CREEP.........

ram-paige: WHY CAN'T YOU DO THAT IN CLASS

chuck taylors enthusiast: BECAUSE FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY

// next day after classes //

shenom: ok so. eye Uhhh. i want everyone to know that the situation w jey and xavier yesterday inspired me & gave me a boost and i. i talked to shotzi,

little miss bliss: SHE TALKED TO SHOTZI!!!!!!

feeltheglow: OK WAIT SO THAT WAS MORE REAL THAN WE THOUGHT HUH???

feeltheglow: LIKE I THOUGHT IT WAS MORE OF A JOKE BUT YOU REALLY LIKE HER ACTUALLY???

shenom: YEAH I REALLY REALLY LIKE HER ACTUALLY!!!!!!

demon prince: WAIT SO YOU ASSHOLES ASK ME FOR THE TEA AND THEN YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME WHEN I DELIVER??????

big bex energy: JWJFKAKFKAKFJAJTJ

feeltheglow: I THOUGHT YOU WERE. SPECULATING ON THIS TOPIC SPECIFICALLY

demon prince: NO!!!!!!

shenom: wow this groupchat makes everyone forget how to shut the fuck up and stay in their lane!!!! insane powers <3

demon prince: JAJDKSKJFKAG OMG SORRYYYYYY

jimmy uce: just @ me next time

shenom: <3

shenom: so anyway. as i was saying. <3

little miss bliss: AAAAAAAA L WORD 😭😭😭😭

demon prince: WHAT THE FUUUCK THAT'S SO SWEET I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU

universal mom: EMBER THAT'S SO LOVELY I'M SO !!!!!!!

shenom: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 thank you thank you thank you

the est: BRO SHE HAS A PICTURE W YOU AS HER ICON? 😭😭

shenom: YEAH SHE'S HAD IT FOR A WHILE 🥺🥺🥺

little miss bliss: SO WHAT I'M HEARING IS YOU KEPT HER WAITING

shenom: FUCK OFF!!!!!!

xav: FUCK IT UP EMBER VIRTUAL HIGH FIVE

shenom: 🙏 IT'S A HIGH FIVE

chuck taylors enthusiast: ADD HER?

little miss bliss: ADD HER

feeltheglow: ADD HER

shenom: FFFFFFFF I'LL ASK IF SHE WANTS TO JOIN

little miss bliss: YEEEEE

bayley!: everything's falling into place......

shenom: jdjsjfkakks yeah..

chuck taylors enthusiast: @kate your turn

k8lyn: suck my dick EMBER THAT ROCKS I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU

shenom: AHANDLSJD THANK YOU WE'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU TO JOIN IN

k8lyn: STOP FUCKING WAITING 🖤🖤

ambrose: sorry for not being online i've been fucking around w the twins all day

ambrose: today i like them So Much

ambrose: more than usual and the usual is already SO MUCH

ucey jucey: awww deano 🥺🥺🥺

feeltheglow: they're just. three children having so much fun

daddy: it's suspicious

big bex energy: what crimes will they commit

daddy: exactly they're avoiding everyone else they GOTTA be up to something

ambrose: WE'RE JUST VIBING

ambrose: I JUST WANTED TO SAY CONGRATS TO EMBER AND EXPLAIN WHY I'VE BEEN QUIET

shenom: thanks!

bayley!: literally nobody missed you but ok king

ambrose: ok so i was doing the right thing spending time w them instead of this gc bc you're all assholes and boring

foxy: ?!??!?! you're ALL???? JUST BECAUSE BAYLEY'S A BITCH??

bayley!: hey >:(

chuck taylors enthusiast: ????? deano u little asshole do you need a fucking kick in the face maybe

daddy: don't be rude

chuck taylors enthusiast: sorry dad

ambrose: sorry daddy

daddy: don't. be like that either

ambrose: :)

shenom:

little miss bliss: don't make that face you're about to be like That too mrs blackheart

shenom: 😳😳😳😳😳😳 I'LL NEVER BE LIKE THAT

ram-paige: you know what actually be rude. pls everyone be rude

universal mom: NO don't be rude or weird just be fun and nice like yesterday on zoom :) remember yesterday on zoom :) that was so cool

daddy: i swear i love that boy with my entire heart but god he makes me wanna beat him up

ambrose: i mean you CAN beat me up

daddy: and you CAN shut your damn mouth but i guess you don't feel like it do you

ambrose: 😳

ucey jucey: hey @xavier can we please be horny on here everyday so these two can see how it feels

xav: no bc jimmy doesn't deserve it and neither do e & kofi

biggie: THANK YOU

ucey jucey: jimmy doesn't deserve it my ASS u think deano & rome are the only ones in this house who fuck????

jimmy uce: BRO WH

feeltheglow: i'm gonna. i'm about to run away

ambrose: LMAOOOOO GET THEIR ASS

jimmy uce: WE DON'T MAKE IT A PUBLIC EVENT THO

ambrose: i do tho. roman's about to shut my mouth. i hope the rest of you have at least half as much fun as i'm about to have

feeltheglow: I'M GONNA RUN THE FUCK AWAY

daddy: quarantining together was a shitty fucking idea after all

ram-paige: this groupchat was a shitty fucking idea after all

chuck taylors enthusiast: you're a shitty fucking idea after all

Chapter Text

// tuesday afternoon //

biggie: terrible news everybody xav just ordered an electric bass online

ram-paige: BROO THAT'S SO COOL

xav: IT IS!!!!!

kofi k: he's gonna get bored of it in a week

xav: SHUT UP!!!!

ucey jucey: 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 bass?? oh yeah????

xav: yeah 👀👀

ucey jucey: when are you gonna serenade me then 👀👀👀

xav: as soon as i fuckin LEARN TO PLAY IT babe 💖💖

biggie: and until then it's gonna be OUR problem

xav: I'M ABOUT TO BE SO FUCKING OBNOXIOUS <3<3<3

mella💎: HAVE FUN

kofi k: oh he will

ram-paige: i'm feeling inspired by this ngl

foxy:  haha maybe not? what if. no

ram-paige: no? :(

foxy: 🤐🤐🤐🤐

xav: FUCK OFF GO FOR IT PAIGE AJDJAKJFA

chuck taylors enthusiast: coping mechanism 💜

xav: EXACTLY

ram-paige: EXACTLY!!!

foxy: damn. go for it paige 😔

chuck taylors enthusiast: don't be :pensive: alicia just think abt how sexy she's gonna be

foxy: :/ she is gonna be so sexy ig ://

ram-paige: damn right i will!!! now help me pick which thing i should buy 🖤

foxy: :) ok let's do it

chuck taylors enthusiast: i don't know why she felt the need to share this w me we were not even like. talking in dms she just. decided to hit me w this so now i'm exposing her to everyone else bc i hate her

k8lyn: haha wow fuck's sake!!

mella💎: she's insane

tez: why can't people in here take a break 😭😭

big bex energy: this gc has a spell that gives u horny asshole disease :/

chuck taylors enthusiast: can confirm i cursed this gc myself when i made it

k8lyn changed the group's name from "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT" to "horny assholes quarantine ward"

demon prince: struggling to decide if i like this name more or less

chuck taylors enthusiast: I'M IN LOVE W IT KATE DO YOU WANNA KISS

k8lyn: 😳😳 don't mind if i do....

chicago made: have fun ig

seth freakin rollins: 

k8lyn: look at this asshole taking advantage of the fact that dean and rome are Busy to be active in the gc

seth freakin rollins: those hoes are ~busy~ 24/7 i could be here ALL DAY if i wanted to but i got better stuff to do

the bo$$: sure you do

seth freakin rollins: i swear i'm only here to get bullied 💔

big bex energy: and?

k8lyn: STOP DON'T BULLY HIM

shenom: i was about to add shotzi bc she agreed to join but. this new name is. uh

chuck taylors enthusiast: NOOOOO ADD HER

feeltheglow: ADD ADD ADD ADD ADD

little miss bliss: ADD HER INTRODUCE ME FINALLY

shenom: OK BUT BE FUCKING DECENT FOR ONCE DON'T BE WEIRD LIKE EVERYTIME SOMEONE NEW JOINS

chicago made: 

shenom added ballsy!!

ballsy!!: HELLO FRIENDS OF EMBER

seth freakin rollins: anyway i only came here to let everyone know the dog just tore allen's face open

ballsy!!: FUCKING SICK

shenom: goddamn

bayley!: that counts as being weird?

k8lyn: WHAT THE FUCK

demon prince: NOOOOOO MOM

k8lyn: WHY DID YOU WAIT TO SAY IT SJDJAKFKJS JUST. LAUGHING AT THE NAME CHANGE INSTEAD OF TELLING US SOMETHING LIKE THIS????

seth freakin rollins: UHHHHH

k8lyn: HOW IS HE

xav: YEAH HOW'S YOUR BITCH OF A BOYFRIEND

big bex energy: YEAH WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN TORE HIS FACE OPEN

ballsy!!: YEAH

seth freakin rollins: well as i MENTIONED my man's losing his marbles real fast and he's been taking it out on the dog just. screaming and playing ya kno

seth freakin rollins: and they get SUPER ALONG generally ok but kevin gets too pumped when allen plays w him and so he was barking like crazy and allen got too close and kevin accidentally closed his mouth right on allen's face,,, and uh,,,, yeah

ballsy!!: KEVIN'S THE DOG?

seth freakin rollins: YEAH KEVIN'S THE DOG

k8lyn: WHAT NOW

seth freakin rollins: MOM'S DRIVING US TO THE HOSPITAL

demon prince: BE FUCKING CAREFUL WITH. YA KNOW. MISS RONA

seth freakin rollins: YEAH WE KNOW DON'T BRING IT UP

big bex energy: WHAT'S HE DOING 😭😭😭

seth freakin rollins: asking if he's drooling. apologizing for bleeding. saying he doesn't want stitches everytime mom says he's gonna get stitches

chicago made: damn that's scary tho

universal mom: keep us updated pls :( wishing the best :((

seth freakin rollins: he's w the docs rn i gotta wait in another room 💔 he's getting stitches f

ram-paige: i cannot believe i come back to this

seth freakin rollins: at least someone had fun ig 🙄

ram-paige: shut up how are u :(

seth freakin rollins: stressed out but he's gonna be fine. it's not too bad it's gonna be fine no point in stressing out too much

ram-paige: good that's good don't panic

demon prince: wow she didn't even make emo jokes..... shit's serious

ram-paige: 😔🤙🏻

ballsy!!: well what a time to join a groupchat

the est: there have been worse introductions

dawks: yeah.

ballsy!!: do i wanna know

chicago made: no!!!

ballsy!!: ok!

ballsy!!: so. do you people bust your faces open often

bayley!: JAKFKSJFJAKF

xav: allen is an outlier and should not be counted

ballsy!!: skfkskfka too bad

shenom: shotzi likes to staple paper to her skin occasionally

ballsy!!: yeah :) 

chuck taylors enthusiast: HELLO???? AND FOR WHAT???

ballsy!!: FOR FUN????

shenom: she's said it builds character

ballsy!!: IT DOES

ballsy!!: listen if u can do weird shit just do weird shit. if u can handle it why not

chuck taylors enthusiast: i respect you so much

ram-paige: you're insane i'm happy to have you in the gc

ballsy!!: :)!!!!! THANK YOU 

ballsy!!: i literally know none of you when this kevin situation calms down i need a summary of the lore and characters of this squad

jimmy uce: i think you're giving us too much importance

little miss bliss: I AM IMPORTANT THOUGH hello i'm ember's bestie and i've been dying to meet you

ballsy!!: ALEXA?!?!!?!?!?

little miss bliss: SHOTZI!!!!!!

ballsy!!: you're the one who almost got dragged into a cult by that subsitute teacher they found at the local daycare

little miss bliss:  that has never happened

chuck taylors enthusiast: that literally was happening

little miss bliss: no

shenom: ok so she's pulling that gaslight gatekeep girlboss route

little miss bliss: ANYWAY

universal mom: she still does weird stuff but i'm not gonna talk about it

little miss bliss: ANYWAY!!!!!! :)

seth freakin rollins: is this a good time for an update

little miss bliss: ABSOLUTELY IDEAL TIME

seth freaking rollins: he has about 5 stitches on his lip and 2 on his cheek! he's very high from blood loss and anesthesia and it's funny for now. he's ok :)

k8lyn: THANK GOOOOOOD

p1: thid iz fukcd up

big bex energy: so true bestie

p1: i csnt spesk or ear

universal mom: right

seth freakin rollins: i'll do the talking for now sjdjajfja

seth freakin rollins: he's complaining abt the fact that he can't move his mouth. he doesn't know how is he going to eat. me & mom are Pondering too

seth freakin rollins: AND he's still bleeding he's gonna be stupid for a while me thinks. i'll put us to bed as soon as he manages to eat something so don't expect anymore updates for today <3 he's thanking everyone for worrying tho

kofi k: we're enemies but get well soon bro 😔🤙🏻

p1: 👁

p1: fxk taht-s nor riht

seth freakin rollins: he wanted to send this 🖤

seth freakin rollins: see y'all tomorrow ig hsjfjajf

big bex energy: take care ya couple of assholes xx

chuck taylors enthusiast: today has been so eventful i didn't even get a chance to complain abt the surprise test w seth's mom......

bayley!: gasp how did it go

chicago made: i was feeding her the entire textbook how do you think it went

chuck taylors enthusiast: it was great :)

xav: hey i know it's not the weekend but me & jey have been on zoom watching bass tutorials w our respective roommates and we're starting to get bored does anyone wanna hop in for a little hangout moment

mella💎: OHHHHH YEAH

biggie: STOP USING ZOOM TIME AS AN EXCUSE TO DRINK

mella💎: LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE

ballsy!!: LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO

Chapter Text

// wednesday afternoon //

ballsy!!: soooo i meant what i said yesterday i only know some of y'all by name at best bc ember mentions you but ! i don't KNOW you know you ya know??? pls fill me in!!! is there anything i should know abt someone? fun facts? idk just!! tell me abt yourselves pls 💚💚

ballsy!!: i'm just a little weirdo & i like spooky stuff (ember counts as spooky stuff too💚) that's all :-) what abt you!

k8lyn: 🥺🥺🥺 oh shotzi this is sweet but unfort we're lame :(

ballsy!!: noooo just :((( tell me stuff :(((

chuck taylors enthusiast: HHHHH IT JUST FEELS WEIRD WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT

xav: YEAH LIKE I FEEL UNDER PRESSURE AJXJSKFK

ballsy!!: I'M SORRY 😭😭😭

chuck taylors enthusiast: I'M JUST. THE BITCH WHO MADE THE GC. @PUNK IS MY LOVING HUSBAND THAT WILL EVENTUALLY DIE UNDER MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES AND I WILL CRY ABOUT IT BUT IT'LL BE A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS. @BAYLEY AND @E ARE MY BELOVED CHILDREN. @KATE AND @PAIGE ARE MY BESTIES AND I ALMOST DATED KATE ONCE 💜 I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE AND DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY CAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT AND IT FEELS STUPID YOU'LL JUST FIND OUT 💜💜

chuck taylors enthusiast: also i don't know why i was screaming. sorry abt that

chicago made: her personality is Being Insane and nothing else

chuck taylors enthusiast: bitch i'll kill you

chuck taylors enthusiast: HIS personality is being from chicago and nothing else.

chicago made: should i be offended or what.

the bo$$: i feel like the general public knows me becky bayley and charlotte as a Unit so i'll introduce us like that. sup i'm sasha the best horsewoman

big bex energy: yea that's def true lmao. esp the bit abt you being the best 🧡

the bo$$: 💙 

ballsy!!: oh yea the horsewomen you're FAMOUS in our side of the school

the bo$$: :) yea we are :) & we deserve it :)

big bex energy: i don't know what the latest update is in your side but me and sasha are dating. our collective dating lives have been a little confusing over the years so it might be relevant to point it out. also i love bragging abt it :)

the bo$$: FUCK you're so lovely today what the fuck. i love you

ambrose: dammit they're gonna have sex today aren't they

feeltheglow: dean shut up

ballsy!!: I LOVE YOUR LOVE???? i think i knew abt this but i didn't know y'all well enough to remember who was dating who. anyway

ballsy!!: one of you. is missing

big bex energy: yea charlotte didn't wanna be in the gc 🙄 cause she's a good student and this would be a distraction or whatever 🙄🙄

bayley!: boooooo

bayley!: also becky and sasha are stupid girlfriends my relationship is better 

mella💎: 😚

big bex energy: you're just jealous

bayley!: i was there first so jot that down

big bex energy: there HAS to be a reason why you're not here now!!!!!

the bo$$: girls girls girls. pls. don't fight over me. i like neither of you

ram-paige: i was like a mother to half of them at some point and look at them now

big bex energy: we went astray without your guiding hand and light 😔

ram-paige: fuck you sure did 😔

mella💎: it's important to know that becky and sasha so far have spent lockdown fucking and doing nothing else

shenom: good lord

ballsy!!: damn. good for them ig

the bo$$: you say that as if it's not a great way to spend lockdown hello????

big bex energy: WRONG we also started a war w dean and roman

mella💎: THE WAR ALSO INVOLVED FUCKING

shenom: ok maybe that's not important and there's no need to get into that <3 maybe calm down abt that <3 i said don't be fucking weird <3

ballsy!!: ember babe i appreciate you trying to keep my mind free of sin but i have to look at the name of this gc every 10 seconds i was expecting them to fuck

k8lyn: 

shenom: :(

universal mom: this gc has one goal and it's to find kate a girlfriend so if you know anyone we could pair her up with... pls let us know <3

k8lyn: I AM NOT CONSENTING TO THIS!!!!!!

ballsy!!: 👀👀👀👀👀 i'll keep my eyes open!

k8lyn: NOOOOO

daddy: i really didn't even wanna talk here cause this nickname i'm stuck with is so awkward but. there's a new person. and i wanted to say hi :( esp since it's ember's gf :( hi

ballsy!!: oh what happened to you. hi :)

ambrose: >:)

daddy: he. he happened to me

ambrose: <3

foxy: he's our dad friend. nattie is our mom friend. they're our collective parents

little miss bliss: they're not dating tho :) they're just teaming up to raise the kids :) i cannot stress this enough :)

ambrose: i second that

ballsy!!: that's sweet but.. that word in his nickname... are you aware of the connotation it has...

ambrose: oh i am so aware

kofi k: if you don't shut the fuck up this instant

shenom: shotzi d. dad. he. would be roman if you haven't guessed. you know who he is right

ballsy!!: OH YEAH ONE OF HOT GYM TEACHER'S LITTLE COUSINS THE HOT ONE

ambrose: is that genuinely his reputation. cause it's so valid

daddy: you're calling dwayne hot to my face

ballsy!!: YES AND YES 💚

chuck taylors enthusiast: SORRY BUT WHAT ELSE DO YOU EXPECT??????

feeltheglow: shotzi you'll be happy to know we got TWO MORE dwayne cousins i'll get them here

jimmy uce: hi it's us

ucey jucey: hi it's us

jimmy uce: naomi just told us to come say this we don't know what's going on :) hi ember girlfriend

ucey jucey: HI EMBER GIRLFRIEND!!!

ballsy!!: HI!!!

k8lyn: do we mention the never ending beef dean & roman have w seth

ambrose: no.

daddy: no.

ballsy!!: oh but now i fucking wanna know

ambrose: there was just. some backstabbing and breaking trust and it sucked.

ballsy!!: aw man :(

ambrose: also i'll never get into the whole tragic backstory but one thing i need everyone to know abt me is rome's the love of my life™ and i've been basically living w him and his parents for the last year and it's been the best thing ever. amen

ballsy!!: aw man :)

daddy: :) come cuddle

ambrose: coming :)

feeltheglow: on the other hand i'm dating jimmy and me the twins & their parents are spending lockdown at roman's house. this is a mandatory reminder that we're all together under one roof and nobody has died yet :)

ballsy!!: THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN

biggie: you are literally the only person who had a positive reaction to that ajdjajdna

kofi k: i mean she doesn't know dean and the twins well enough to understand the implications of this ig?

shenom: even if she knew them she'd still be into it. she loves the mayhem

ballsy!!: I FUCKING DO!!!!!!!

xav: on the OTHER other hand i'm now dating the other twin hi jey but i am not. sharing the house w them. and i'm stuck w kofi (affectionate) and e (derogatory)

biggie: bitch. i've been making you pancakes this whole time and for what

kofi k: you should have made a move sooner if you wanted to quarantine w the samoans but you DIDN'T

bayley!: WORD!!!!!

ucey jucey: HE'S RIGHT ‼‼‼‼

xav: STOP ATTACKING ME

universal mom: since my mom role has already been discussed. for my introduction i'm just gonna mention i have like five billion cats and lexi's been building herself a creepy doll

universal mom: (that's some of the weird stuff she still does that i mentioned yesterday. hoping and praying she doesn't read these texts)

the est: sorry to show up just now but WHAT THE FUCK!!!! NATTIE WHAT THE FUCK <3

dawks: i cannot believe we were missing this conversation cause bianca's a Grade A student and she bullied us into paying attention to class. what the fuck

chuck taylors enthusiast: NATTIE HOW ARE YOU LIKE. SLEEPING AT NIGHT

demon prince: she is 100% hosting a demon or two in that doll i'm telling u. from experience

universal mom: OH DON'T BE SO DRAMATIC NOW SHE'S A SWEET LITTLE ANGEL OK

big bex energy: huh finn???? wanna elaborate????

demon prince: no

ballsy!!: FINN?????? 👀

bayley!: remember when alexa was the one sighing dreamily about nattie everyday and talking our ears off being a little fangirl and after she asked nattie out and they got together the roles fully switched

universal mom: :'))) i thought she was the CUTEST thing in the world and it was so endearing and flattering that she had a crush on me and look at us now :) quarantining together :) i'd die for her

ballsy!!: WHAT THE FUCK THAT'S SO SWEET! OHHH

ballsy!!: HEY ALEXA IF YOU SEE THIS I WANNA SEE YOUR CREEPY DOLL!!!

little miss bliss: I SEE THIS HERE'S LILLY

little miss bliss: SHE STILL NEEDS SOME FINISHING TOUCHES BUT !!!

ballsy!!: GIRL THIS ROCKS

chuck taylors enthusiast: GENUINELY LEXI THIS IS SO BOMB 

little miss bliss: !! thank youuuu 💗 i used to have a doll as a kid that i'm using as a sort-of reference! that old lilly didn't exactly look like this tho this is more like. what she looked like in my head :)

the est: that is. surprisingly well made but what you just said does not make me feel better

little miss bliss: what's the problem :(

universal mom: don't worry about it you're doing amazing lex 💗

daddy: damn nattie why don't we back track and you tell us abt your cats instead

the bo$$: LMAO YEAH

ballsy!!: I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO HEAR ABOUT SOME CATS

little miss bliss: you know what i was gonna pretend to be offended but her cats are also weird so.

shenom: look who's talking

little miss bliss: I KNOWWWW THERE'S A REASON WHY I SAID "ALSO"!!!!

little miss bliss: one of them keeps finding frogs outside and hiding them around the house this morning i heard nattie's dad yell FUCK ANOTHER ONE and i saw a frog just skip down the stairs

tez: THE FROGS ARE ALIVE?????

little miss bliss: YES

universal mom: this is the same cat who hates the. lids of milk jars ig??? so whenever someone needs to open the fridge we gotta make sure the cat isn't around so either we lock him somewhere or someone has to hold him or else he'll climb INTO the fridge and start attacking the milk and chewing the lid

ambrose: damn. crazy cat lady but the cats are crazy instead

little miss bliss: he loves lilly tho every morning i see him cuddling w her :)

xav: aw i don't know if that makes it creepier or if it's just cute!

universal mom: JUST CUTE

universal mom: another one of my cats pisses all over the furniture but in ONE room only so we had to buy those plastic covers things.

feeltheglow: LMAO JUST THAT ONE ROOM????????

bayley!: for science. what happens if you move the furniture somewhere else. 

universal mom: he ignores it. the thing is that said room is like a living space that we use all the time so we just can't. lock it up or empty it out

demon prince: lmao rest in piss i guess

universal mom: literally 😔

ram-paige: hey besties this made me think. what if instead of doing that awful cringefest of Trying To Say What We're Like we discuss some character defining moments. that sure gotta be more fun

ballsy!!: OH!!!!! LIKE WHAT

ram-paige: like that time i gave punk his lip piercing in the girls bathroom bc he liked mine i think that says so much abt both of us

chicago made: OH FUCK YEAH

ballsy!!: THAT'S SO FUN I WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE :(

ram-paige: same you're such a good fit for the gang 🥺🥺🥺

foxy: but bestie babe why in the girls bathroom 😭😭

ram-paige: bc i don't know if i can trust the guys and their bathroom w something like that. but i know the girls will have my back if i need to give my bro a little lip ring

chicago made: YEAH THEY GOT MY BACK

chicago made: we scared the fuck out of liv for a second and shayna looked like she was this close to beating me up but ya know how it is

chuck taylors enthusiast: i would have supported her and joined in

ram-paige: SHUT UP YOU LOVED THE SURPRISE

chuck taylors enthusiast: AND?

tez: damn that sounds LIT

ram-paige: if anyone wants a piercing my services will be open again after lockdown i'll be expecting you all. third stall in the second floor's girls bathroom. see ya there

ambrose: daddy can i get another earring

big bex energy: 

ram-paige: wow i do not want to work w you specifically

daddy: dean if you ever do something like this again you'll sleep w the twins for the rest of lockdown

ambrose: COME ON

ucey jucey: we don't want him

ambrose: COME OOOOON

ballsy!!: is this normal

k8lyn: unfortunately yes

bayley!: moving on.

bayley!: remember that one time me and bex convinced sasha and charlotte to just take a bus and we didn't really know where it was going so we ended up fuck knows where and we didn't know how to get back home and we had to call nattie to come pick us up

demon prince: you girls are a fucking nightmare

bayley!: correct!

the bo$$: and that's why now charlotte refuses to hang out w us unless we have an acceptable clear plan. thanks girls

bayley!: it's nothing :)

big bex energy: but ALSO all our phones were dead and we had to ask a stranger at a cafe who was charging his phone if we could borrow the charger just long enough to make the call

universal mom: you got me so stressed out it was like 1am

the bo$$: i don't know why you showed up. you should have let us rot there

universal mom: yeah maybe you're right. maybe i should have

big bex energy: butchu DIDN'T

universal mom: yeah....

ballsy!!: i'm so sorry for nattie but like. that slaps. i love that kind of adventures pls take me w you next time ✨

big bex energy: THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING THAT IT'S FUN AS FUCK

chicago made: ON A SIMILAR NOTE REMEMBER WHEN AJ GOT HER DRIVING LICENSE AND THAT SAME NIGHT SHE DECIDED TO DRIVE NEXT TOWN OVER TO *PARTY* BUT SHE HAD ALREADY BEEN CELEBRATING SO WE HAD TO STOP HALFWAY THERE CAUSE HER AND PAIGE HAD TO PISS ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD

ram-paige: IT WAS A BLAST

ballsy!!: HWJDKAMFNMA WHAT THE FUUUCK 

k8lyn: that was HORRIBLE terrible night i'm a fan of impromptu car trips as much as the next guy but that was HELL they wanted me to hold my gay little flannel shirt in front of them like a curtain for Privacy and they were holding hands and laughing sooo hard thru the whole process they almost got ME pissing my pants too

chuck taylors enthusiast: HAJDNAKFNMW SHUT UP KATE I'LL PISS MYSELF AGAIN

kofi k: a lot of piss talk here girls do you have something to tell us

the est: KOFI?????????? SHUT UP

ballsy!!: OMG I WISH I MOVED HERE SOONER 😭😭😭

little miss bliss: i was in the car w the horsewomen cause aj called us to join in and we drove by while that was happening and we just saw kate holding her shirt and we were like. what the fuck is going on. and kept driving cause we didn't care enough 

chuck taylors enthusiast: HANDNANFNA FUCK YOU FOR THAT WE COULD HAVE BEEN DYING

the bo$$: rip to you ig

foxy: i was riding w kofi xav & e and i did get them to stop and check :) 

ram-paige: you're superior babe 🖤🖤

daddy: oh hey remember when we went to this nice restaurant for my aunt's birthday and jimmy & jey somehow climbed to the fucking roof and the restaurant people kicked the whole family out and also banned us

feeltheglow: AHAKFKANJAJA GOD YEAH

ballsy!!: I WAS NOT EXPECTING ROMAN TO HAVE A BATSHIT STORY TO TELL BUT I DIDN'T CONSIDER THAT HE COMES EQUIPPED W THE TWINS AND THAT'S ON ME

daddy: it's so stressful

universal mom: i know buddy i know

ucey jucey: joke's on them cause that restaurant got shut down but us? we still thriving

jimmy uce: DAMN RIGHT!!!!! DAMN RIGHT

ballsy!!: was dwayne there 😳

shenom: SHOTZI

daddy: yes. he was there.

jimmy uce: and he was rooting for US

feeltheglow: of course he was if he wasn't parent aged he would have been on the roof before any of you

jimmy uce: WORD!!!! YOU'RE SO RIGHT

kofi k: i'm surprised that deano wasn't up there w them?????

daddy: he tries really hard to make a good impression when there's extended family around

ambrose: i was sitting next to him being the best fucking boy all day it was a nightmare

ambrose: the twins would stand out of the window right in front of where i was sitting just to give me shit thru expressions and gestures cause i didn't wanna go outside to fool around w them

daddy: i'm proud of you for the effort

ambrose: i know :) all worth it

feeltheglow: and NOW whenever someone scolds the twins they sing your praise in the next sentence !

ambrose: YEAH :))

jimmy uce: fuck you deano you made our reputation worse by comparison and you don't even deserve the good rep

ambrose: what can i say. i'm an asshole

biggie: wait i remembered one of my favorite stories. EVERYONE's favorite story in fact

ballsy!!: 👀 ??

biggie: so it was me. xavier. aj. kate. bayley. and nattie.

universal mom: oh dammit i know what it is

chuck taylors enthusiast: my doggie was also there :)

biggie: LARRY WAS ALSO THERE

chicago made: LARRY WAS THERE?????

bayley!: YES BC IT ALL STARTED OUT AS JUST. TAKING LARRY ON A WALK

universal mom: but then we walked by that old motel? the abandoned one 

ballsy!!: WERE THERE GHOSTS PLS TELL ME IT'S ABOUT GHOSTS

xav: WE DIDN'T SEE ANY :(

ballsy!!: NOOOOO

biggie: anyway kate and aj take ONE look at each other and they decide hey we should def go in there. see what's up. nattie wasn't 100% into it but we all just agreed

the bo$$: FUCK I LOVE THIS STORY 

biggie: so first problem is we can't see any way to get in but there are windows. so what we do is. they get me to grab a stick and knock off the glass. we get inside and nattie finds a broom and we start trying to get rid of the glass before aj brings larry inside so he doesn't hurt his little paws ahsjflahakf

chicago made: GOOD. THANK YOU

foxy: AW LARRY 🥺🥺🥺

biggie: in short we just kinda walk around. find like. food and bottles and stuff. we realize someone has been there. we get scared that someone might STILL be there so we get the fuck OUT of there but once we're out we realize fuck it we broke a window to get in there we might as well walk around some more

daddy: right. don't let that window's life go to waste

xav: SO WE CLIMB BACK IN LIKE FUCKING IDIOTS AJDKAJFKAK AND WE FIND LIKE. A SHOPPING RECEIPT FROM LIKE ROUGHLY THE YEAR BEFORE SO WE FEEL A LITTLE SAFER LIKE. MAYBE SOMEONE BROKE IN TO HAVE A LITTLE PARTY JUST LIKE WE'RE DOING RN MAYBE THERE'S NO ONE STILL HERE SO WE CALM DOWN A LITTLE WE GO UP TO THE SECOND FLOOR

ballsy!!: WAS ANYTHING SCARY :(

universal mom: scariest part was larry strolling around and the sound of his little feet kept scaring the shit out of me 😭😭

bayley!: tbf we also found like. either blood or alarmingly dark vomit on a mattress. that was not cool

ballsy!!:  ok that's no good 

chuck taylors enthusiast: i'm 100% sure some junkies just vibed in there

k8lyn: yea def

kofi k: how did i allow you to do this

xav: CAUSE WE DIDN'T PLAN IT WE WERE JUST TAKING LARRY ON A WALK OF COURSE YOU'D LET US TAKE LARRY ON A WALK

bayley!: the biggest problem wasn't ghosts or junkies the problem was that for some reason we kept like opening the windows and blinders in every fuckin room like ???? why

universal mom: CAUSE IT WAS FUCKIN DARK?????

k8lyn: YEAH BUT IT ENDED UP BITING US IN THE ASS CAUSE IDK MAYBE SOMEONE NOTICED THE WINDOWS AND CALLED THE GROUNDSKEEPER???? OR WHATEVER??????? 

ballsy!!: OH NO

dawks: OH FUCK DID THEY CATCH YOU

k8lyn: THAT'S THE MOST FRUSTRATING PART WE WERE LEAVING BUT THEN FUCKIN XAVIER NOTICED A GARAGE DOOR AND WANTED TO CHECK IN THERE SO WE ENDED UP STICKING AROUND SOME MORE AND THAT'S WHEN THE GROUNDSKEEPER SHOWED UP AND SAW US ON THE CRIMESCENE

xav: I'M SORRY I'M SO SORRY

biggie: i will never forget the dread i felt upon seeing his cyan little car driving up to us

ballsy!!: OH MY GOD WHAT NEXT

bayley!: WE FUCKING HAULED ASS WHAT ELSE AJDJSJDKKA NATTIE REALLY DID NOT WANT TO GET IN TROUBLE WHICH FAIR!!! SHE'S A GOOD RESPECTABLE GIRL!!!! SO SHE GRABBED ME AJ KATE AND LARRY AND WE FUCKIN RAAAAAN 

little miss bliss: DAMN NATTIE RUNNING FROM THE LAW I'M SO PROUD OF YOU

universal mom: and those IDIOTS e and xavier decided to HIDE BEHIND BUSHES LIKE SOME CARTOON WHAT THE HELL HOW ARE YOU SO STUPID

biggie: WE WERE SCARED 😭😭😭😭

bayley!: himbo activity fr. we bolted thru the woods like twilight vampires. did not turn back

xav: you were so evil for that

ram-paige: FOR REAL YOU JUST LET THEM GET CAUGHT??? JAJFJANFJAJD ASSHOLES

ballsy!!: DID YOU TWO GET CAUGHT?!?!?!??! 

biggie: well the guy just walked over to our bush and there was this moment where we just looked at each other. and then he reached to grab his phone and THEN we hauled ass thru the woods too 

xav: AND HE CHASED US!!! THRU THE WOODS!!!! W HIS FUCKING CAR!!!!!

tez: I WOULD HAVE SHAT MY PANTS SO FAST

ucey jucey: i've heard this story so many times and still i am holding my breath so hard andkskks

dawks: we never heard it before and we're SHAKING bianca how are you

the est: FUCKING PISSED IS WHAT I AM Y'ALL DESERVED TO GET CAUGHT 

xav: eventually the trees became too close together and the car couldn't get thru anymore and we were free but i have never been so stressed out in my LIFE

k8lyn: we were so scared too we thought they got caught!!!! we kept calling them but they never picked up and nattie was CRYING aj was full on freaking out and laughing like a maniac 

chuck taylors enthusiast: I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! NATTIE WAS ALREADY CRYING I FELT LIKE I WASN'T ALLOWED TO CRY TOO. ONE AT A TIME YOU KNOW

universal mom: eventually we got to bay's house cause it was the closest and we got her car and started driving around looking for the boys. we found them. and everything was good. the end

shenom: it took y'all WEEKS to get over it

feeltheglow: UNDERSTANDABLY SO 

ballsy!!: PROMISE WE GO THERE AGAIN WHEN LOCKDOWN'S OVER PROMISE IT

chuck taylors enthusiast: I'M IN 

biggie: FUCK YOU LMAOOOOO

bayley!: uhhhh,,,,h,h,h,,,,,.,..,...

universal mom: i'd rather die than go there again 

ram-paige: I WANNA COME!!!!!!! CAN I COME 

chuck taylors enthusiast: fuck yeah it's gonna be weird girl summer if the cowards don't wanna come 🙄

ballsy!!: YEEEEESSS 

ram-paige: SHOTZI I'M SO CURIOUS DO YOU HAVE ANY STORY!!!!! 

feeltheglow: OMG YEAH SHOTZI WHY DON'T YOU TELL US A LITTLE STORY ABOUT YOURSELF TOO!!!!!!!!

ballsy!!: AAAAAAAAAA I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING PLANNED LET ME THINK

ballsy!!: RECENTLY GOT MY LICENSE SUSPENDED FOR A WHILE BC I TRIED TO PICK A FIGHT W A COP WHO STOPPED US TO GIVE US A TICKET!!!!! THAT'S CHILL CAUSE I'M NOT GONNA NEED TO DRIVE FOR A WHILE ANYWAY LOL

ambrose: oh my god?????? fuck yeah acab

big bex energy: FUCK YEAH ACAB

shenom: best thing is she wasn't even driving she just took one for the team lmao <3

ballsy!!: YEAH RHEA WAS DRIVING LMAOOOOO i just saw the chance to jump a cop and i took it.

chicago made: queen shit

ballsy!!: thanks :)

ballsy!!: it was MY tank that rhea was driving tho

ballsy!!: i have a little tiny tank. it shoots tennis ball sized stuff. but i also call my normal car tank. just to clear up any eventual confusion xx

little miss bliss: you're my favorite person here so far

ballsy!!: aw thanks lexi you too :")

ballsy!!: we should put lilly on my little tank

little miss bliss: YEAH WE SHOULD

ambrose: i almost got arrested once. when they let me do a call i called roman. and somehow he got me out i don't know what he told them but. here we are

daddy: professional secret

feeltheglow: damn when dwayne says you have a way w words and you'd charm a cop out of a ticket he's right

demon prince: i feel like y'all have been mentioning dwayne too much since shotzi joined

ballsy!!: yeah i feel targeted 

daddy: anyway shortly after that incident i moved dean in w us so i can keep an eye on him 24/7 

ambrose: thank you for that ro

daddy: no thank you. it's been the best time ever

ambrose: well that's good then cause i'm not planning on moving out anytime soon

feeltheglow: aw fuck aj come see this they're being tender 

ballsy!!: aw :")

Chapter Text

// thursday //

demon prince: i have TERRIBLE news . HORRID news heart wrenching news

little miss bliss: NO!!!!!! WHAT IS IT 😭😭😭😭😭

demon prince: ok but don't cry already i haven't said anything you're stressing me out

little miss bliss: SORRY I'M EMOTIONAL

feeltheglow: bitch what IS it!!!!!!

demon prince: i'm bringing tragic tea and gossip from my side of the school

demon prince: mella's curse worked 

mella💎: uh oh. what did i do

the bo$$: NOOOOO DO NOT SAY IT FINN I SWEAR 

demon prince: I'M SORRY 😭😭😭😭😭😭

demon prince: ADAMBOBBYKYLERODDY BROKE UP I'M SO SORRY

the bo$$: NOOOOOOO 

demon prince: THEY GOT INTO A FIIIGHT 😭😭😭

seth freakin rollins: of course they did 

bayley!: DON'T BE SO NORMAL AND CHILL ABOUT THIS YOU ASS 

seth freakin rollins: FUCK YOU 

the bo$$: READ THE FUCKING ROOM ROLLINS

mella💎: did. did kyle snap. finally

demon prince: no it was adam. 

seth freakin rollins: ADAM?????????

bayley!: WHAT!!!! ADAM??!??!?!!?!?!?

seth freakin rollins: allen is having a STROKE abt this he's ripping the stitches out of his face as we speak (joke)

xav: AJDJSJFJKSKGLAHDJ!!!!!!! AHAHAADJSJSKDIA!!

dawks: the GUTS the NERVE ON THAT BOY

xav: I KNOOOOW HE'S THE MOST SNAP INDUCING ASSHOLE BASTARD ON THE FACE OF THIS GD PLANET AND HE HAS???? THE AUDACITY???? TO SNAP FIRST?????? 

ballsy!!: can you IMAGINE 

little miss bliss: I LICHRALLY CANNOT!!!!! 

ram-paige: i'm so irritated i could rip flesh from bone

chicago made: i was hoping shit would go down not gonna lie but i wanted adam to be miserable about it not be the. source, as he usually is

chicago made: wanted something new for once 

the bo$$: WHY WOULD YOU MANIFEST THEIR DOWNFALL IN ANY WAY

chuck taylors enthusiast: he's old and bitter 

universal mom: ok i know we don't like to be chill and rational but think abt it 

ram-paige: hey :/

universal mom: you can't be living w three other. questionably morally sound kids during a PANDEMIC and just be peaceful and calm and collected forever

demon prince: ^ very good point 

jimmy uce: i mean .... we're holding up well over here

universal mom: yeah but you're all nice kids :)

jimmy uce: :)

ucey jucey: :)

feeltheglow: :)

universal mom: i'm sure they'll make up! because you also can't be living with only three other kids and no one else and like. not talk to them

xav: especially a bitch like adam like. can you imagine adam cole keeping his mouth shut? i can't

seth freakin rollins: jfkskfka yeah no absolutely

demon prince: adam's been reconnecting w his other old shitty friends from the other school.... the fuckinnn.... jacksons..... 

universal mom: oh that's no good

demon prince: i feel like it's their fault somehow

p1: oh. no yeah. yeah for sure their fault then

big bex energy: 

little miss bliss: if i may ask. how did they break the news abfjsjaif

mella💎: i'm imagining adam being like. no talk me im amgy

mella💎: even though no one was talking to him to begin with

little miss bliss: sjndksnfnsfn

shenom: actually roddy bless his heart popped up to vent abt it bc it made him sad :( 

k8lyn: NOOO RODDYYY 🥺🥺

bayley!: oh roderick. the only bitch i can trust

shenom: also bobby simply was not around for a minute cause he had a real bad headache and everyone just went insane without his supervision i guess

demon prince: he didn't even realize the Fight happened before looking at the gc ajcksjfks

ram-paige: JSJFKSKFKS WHAT THE HELL

chuck taylors enthusiast: ugh your gc must be poppin i'm jealous 😔

ballsy!!: i mean no one ripped their face open over there so i would like to argue 

p1: 😶

big bex energy: oh there he is. how have you been

p1: ueuvhueghugh

ram-paige: yeah

k8lyn: i can imagine 

p1: i'm so fucking hungry

seth freakin rollins: he can't even yell at the dog anymore 

chuck taylors enthusiast: boohoo

p1: fuck you 

biggie: i don't mean to distract anyone from whatever the fuck but someone's been joining math class via zoom and we don't know who the fuck it is

little miss bliss: HUH???

the est: someone. just joined and left. like four times

ballsy!!: LMAO WHAT 

demon prince: we take a break from your regularly scheduled adamkyleroddybobby heartbreak for What The Hell LMAO

universal mom: WHAT'S THEIR NAME????

biggie: IT'S JUST A KEYSMASH

ballsy!!: LMAOOOO 

the est: GIRL HEEEEELP

the est: I'M FEELING ROBBED I'M FEELING UNDER ATTACK WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE

big bex energy: HAJFKDKF????

demon prince: CALL THE COPS

biggie: they joined again but they've been chilling for a sec. haven't left yet. what the hell

ucey jucey: ISN'T THE TEACHER LIKE. NOTICING

biggie: NO JSMFKAMFKKAND

the est: help .

chuck taylors enthusiast: who do you even have right now dnsnckksg

the est: miss ivory ❤

mella💎: oh that's why she's none the wiser

k8lyn: queen had to learn how to turn on a computer for this it's already a lot we can't ask more than this from her

universal mom: DON'T BE RUDE?????

biggie: i mean she do be putting the camera up her mouth somehow 

biggie: i think she's on the phone most of the time jakfkskf how else would she get the shots she gives 

chuck taylors enthusiast: i'm in one of her classes too. this is real. i feel like the dentist 

the est: STOP

chuck taylors enthusiast: SORRY I SWEAR I DON'T WANNA BE RUDE BUT IT'S SOOO FUNNY TO WITNESS THESE MIDDLE AGED OR OLDER PEOPLE DEAL W TECHNOLOGY 

tez: "deal w technology"?!?!?!?! respectfully. one of my teachers isn't even calling anymore sjdjakdkka

demon prince: LMAOOOO WHOOOO 

tez: fuckin steve austin he said he can't be bothered and peaced out. lmao 

big bex energy: JUST ONE WEEK IN???? ALREADY GOT TIRED??????? DAMN

tez: I KNOW!! 

chuck taylors enthusiast: pisses me OFF to see them complain like WHAT SHOULD I SAY. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE TIRED IMAGINE BEING ME. STOP GIVING ME HOMEWORK THANKS 

ballsy!!: 🥂 SO TRUE!!!

kofi k: like. i know aj kinda has a point but i also know it's just lazy bitch propaganda

chuck taylors enthusiast: FUCK YOU!!!!!!

the est: THERE'S TWO OF THEM

the est: STOP BEING A BUNCH LAME ASS STUDENTS SHUT UP. THERE'S TWO OF THEMJANDNAMFMS

dawks: not some randos ruining the sanctity of class for my girl bianca...... rip

bayley!: what the FUCK is going on 😭😭😭😭😭😭

k8lyn: TWO OF THEEEMMDMFMDMFMKSKG 

big bex energy: well . 

ballsy!!: i'm texting like. everyone i know. i need to find out who this is

xav: GOOD IDEA I'LL DO THE SAME 

little miss bliss: we truly are so sick and bored for losing our mind abt this is anyone else thinking abt how depressing this is. lmao 

ram-paige: yeah. are you ok lexi :)

little miss bliss: :) sure

biggie: listen 😭😭 it's exciting 

the est: let's be LOGICAL here someone in class must have given them the password to the class there is NO OTHER WAY!!

universal mom: putting on my little detective glasses let's GO who's in the call who's sus

biggie: i mean. DEAN is on and he's been awfully quiet

feeltheglow: he has nothing to do w this he hasn't even noticed anything going on :( he's in the call but bold of you to assume he's even looking at the screen when roman is sitting next to him 

chuck taylors enthusiast: good point

the est: is there any chance xavier has the password

xav: FUCK YOU IT'S NOT ME

biggie: nah i would have noticed djdjkskfakf

the est: YOU'VE DONE IT BEFORE YOU'VE MADE YOUR WAY INTO OTHER CLASSES BEFORE OK

xav: YEAH AND I ALWAYS ANNOUNCE IT PROUDLY TO THE GROUPCHAT WHEN I DO IT

the est: OK SORRY. GEEZ

biggie: ngl everyone's either boring or doesn't seem like they'd be interested in making a mess

chuck taylors enthusiast: in this economy???? in this boredom???? everyone's interested in that. in spicing it up

feeltheglow: april babe have you ever considered that some people don't despise school as much as you do

feeltheglow: have you ever considered… some people……. enjoy class

chuck taylors enthusiast: yeah 🤢 your point

kofi k: we're going mad no one makes sense WHO IS THIS 

universal mom: AND it's two of them?!?!?!? hello . 

demon prince: this is a fuckin blast to witness 

chicago made: why does anyone here care this much god i thought y'all said you're Tired

bayley!: we said we're BORED phil

dawks: bianca are you even paying attention to the actual class

the est: NO 😭😭😭😭😭 AND IT BREAKS MY HEART BUT THIS DISTURBS ME TOO MUCH

the bo$$: i have been paying attention to CLASS and as such i didn't even fucking notice this bullshit y'all are insane

the bo$$: i just noticed Now bc one of the two fucking. turned on their mic and made some weird noise

biggie: I WAS JUST GONNA REPORT THAT HDJDJAKFOA

biggie: I'M SO FUCKING SCARED!!!

ambrose: guys what the fuck is going on in this class 

the est: CRIME THEFT TERROR

bayley!: OH SHUT UP

k8lyn: BUT DID IVORY NOTICE

the est: she was just like. whoever that was Shut Up and brushed it off sjfkksfkkd

ballsy!!: this is fun bc i've been told who this is but it's more entertaining to watch y'all try to figure it out 

the est: BITCH WHAT!!!!!! 

bayley!: SAY WHO RIGHT NOW

ballsy!!: jsjdksjd damian (is in the class) gave rhea the password and then she gave :) me! the password after she told me it was her

universal mom: IT WAS YOU??!?!?!!?!?!

ballsy!!: me AND rhea 🤭🤭🤭 i made the noise doe

shenom: i'm so in l word with you

ballsy!!: 🥰🥰🥰🥰 

biggie: BITFCHHDJFJSKFKWJFJKSKF

feeltheglow: QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!

ram-paige: thank you for the experience tbh 

the est: you. drove me up the fucking wall

ballsy!!: :)))) come onnnn it was a praaaank epic prank no clickbait

the bo$$: i'm. 

little miss bliss: what the HELL!!!!!!!

chicago made: this was. a novel unraveling before my eyes

demon prince: why have you been using . these big words these days

chuck taylors enthusiast: learned them while feeding me the book during that test

ambrose: jesus christ. i wish i paid attention for once

big bex energy: what were you DOING

ambrose: honestly?????? playing w roman's hair while he was doing his class

ballsy!!: 🥺 i adore you two

ambrose: ugh thanks. finally someone who understands