Work Text:
The city looked bright and bustling from where he was staying at. The wind was a little cold, but not chilling enough to make him shiver. Tasuku leaned against the balcony, watching the scenery in front of him. They were having a celebration as Tsumugi finally got engaged with his girlfriend. The atmosphere inside was lively, but somehow it only made him feel gloomy. He was happy about his best friend's engagement, as it only meant that he finally found the person for him, but deep inside Tasuku felt so conflicted. He felt selfish for having these feelings as he knows that his best friend deserves the happiness he found in his fianceè, but he couldn't help but to feel his heart ache at the sight of them being together. He thought that after all these years, he would learn to forget the special feeling he had for him. He thought that if he just ignored it, it will fade away, but the years that have passed proved him wrong. The more that he spent time with him, the more it grew and got deeper. And now that his best friend was about to get married to the woman he truly loved, he could only watch from behind, unspoken feelings hurting him.
"I was looking for you," and speak of the devil. Tsumugi stands beside him, their distance just inches apart. Tasuku wanted to grab his hand, hold him right there, think that they were back to those times that they were younger, but he restricts himself. "You were just staying here, huh?"
"Yeah. I needed some fresh air," and time to think about how much I am of a coward, Tasuku thinks.
"They're really going all out with the party. It's a little tiring, but I'm happy," Tsumugi says after a while, his signature gentle smile on his face. The sight of that stung, like needles prickling his heart nonstop. "I didn't imagine they would go out of their way to celebrate this. They all have things to think about, but they managed to plan a party for this."
"They are always extra with things, even before," he replies. The other hums in agreement.
"I'm so glad i met them," the blue-haired guy mumbles, sighing in satisfaction. Tsumugi looked like he was finally contented with everything, like he has no more regrets.
"Me, too."
Silence hung between the two of them as they both gazed at the nightscape, fascinated. Tasuku gradually averted his gaze to the other, and Tsumugi still had the same fond smile on his lips. It just reminded him of his own regrets, reminded him how he could've been the same had he done and said what needs to be done and said.
"You'll be my best man, right, Tasuku?" he asks him. It hurt, but how can he say no to that smile, to those eyes?
"Y-Yeah..."
"You know," Tsumugi starts, eyes still trained on the sight in front. "I never thought that I would ask you this question."
He doesn't respond immediately to that, but after a while of thinking, he mumbles, "Why?"
The male turns to him and smiles even wider. His blue eyes looked mesmerizing, staring at him like that. "Because before, I thought you would be the one I will stand beside with when that time comes."
Tasuku glanced at him when he heard that.
"I was in love with you back then," Tsumugi confesses, looking away once more, yet still beaming softly. "I was thinking many times how should I tell you, but I always chickened out and hesitated. It scared me to think that if I do, things will change and you will never talk to me again. I knew that there was something different between the two of us before, but I was afraid to take the risk and lose the friendship we have."
Tasuku just listens, but he can feel the way his heart was beating loudly inside his chest. The confession was ripping it into shreds, stabbing it nonstop like a sharpened knife. Why? Why is Tsumugi telling him these things right now? Why is he telling him this when he knows he couldn't do anything to change things anymore?
"So I told myself to just bury my feelings deep and just continue being friends with you," the other continues. "It was hard at first, but then I met her."
" S he was the one that helped me pull through everything."
"And the more we spent time together, the more that I realized that maybe she was actually the one I was looking for," Tsumugi chuckles a little, and the sound of it stung Tasuku's heart even more. "Sorry if I'm being like this, haha. It's really not like me to say these things, but I just really want you to know that I'm thankful or everything. maybe we could've ended up differently if I told you how I felt before, but things happened this way and I met her."
Tsumugi smiles at him, before he gazes at the city lights once more. Tasuku tries to hold back himself, because no, he can't. There's nothing to do anymore, and even if he says them out loud, nothing will change. He's too late to say it now, when he had his chance before.
"Tsumugi, I..." I love you, remains heavy on his tongue, but he doesn't say it. He sighs instead, and smiles back a little. "I-- Thank you, too."
His best friend just beams at him. A period of silence remains for a while, before Tsumugi speaks up and breaks it.
"Haha, we should go back there. Everyone's waiting for us for sure," he says, and Tasuku nods, telling him to go ahead. After the other went inside, he turns around and looked at the busy scene of the city, a sigh leaving his lips and his heart heavy with emotions.
"Yeah, too late to regret anything now," he mumbles to himself, smiling bitterly before he walks away and goes back inside to join the others.