Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Gogy added you and Wilbur to the chat

Gogy: Help

Gogy: I think I’m in love with Dream

You: george

You: i thought u were supposed 2 b more smart u took honor classes

Gogy: Don’t be mean to me I’m having an existential crisis

Wilbur: What happened, George?

Gogy: We were working on a compsci project together

Gogy: and he kept making the same dumb mistake over and over and whined until I help him

Gogy: and whenever I did he would tell me i’m really smart and how he never thought of it like that

You: he was lying

Gogy: and when he said stuff like that I realized that I actually believe him and he’s always been so sweet and ADJFLAKSDJFLA;SK

Gogy: HELP MEEEEE

Wilbur: Oof. Sounds like you’re in a bit of a pickle. We’ll need some reinforcements. Don’t worry George, the calvary’s coming.

Wilbur added Fundy, Badboyhalo, Tommy, Tubbo, Awesamdude, and Technoblade to the chat

Wilbur changed groupchat name to “George is desperate and lonely”

Gogy: Okay no need to tell the whole school

Tommy: wilbur what the fuck

Tubbo: Why are you lonely George? :(

Gogy: Who even are you

Techno: The calvary apparently

“Quackity! If you don’t get your ass out here in 25 seconds I’m coming in there to beat it,” Sapnap yelled from the front of the house. When he checked the time on his phone, he realized it was time for his break to end. And right when the conversation was getting juicy.

As he stepped out from the back room, he noticed Sapnap was busy in conversation with Dream who was easily identifiable by his lime green hoodie. Quickly and discreetly, he took a quick picture of the tall blonde and sent it in the freshly made group message to embarrass George. Dream didn’t notice.

“You would like to beat my ass wouldn’t you,” Quackity teased coming up from behind the other barista.

The other looked disgusted at the thought, making a gagging noise in the back of his throat which made Quackity burst out laughing. “Shut the hell up dude,” he complained while pushing him an arm’s length away.

“Okay, then. I think I’m going to leave,” Dream interjected with a light, probably uncomfortable, laugh. “I’ll just take a bottle of water.”

“Why do you even come here anyway? You hate everything about coffee,” Quackity asked as Sapnap gave him the bottle.

“He thinks he’ll see George here again because he saw him that one time,” Sapnap explained to him which made the other’s face beet red. God the two really were oblivious. “News flash, you idiot. He doesn’t like coffee either.”

“Aww, I thought Dream came here to talk to his two favortie baristas,” Quackity said with a fake pout. It was so obviously clear he would do anything for George or his attention. Simp.

“Yeah, I’ll do that when I meet them.” Dream rolled his eyes before leaving with a rushed excuse of his class being soon even though he had Fridays off. He probably just didn’t want to be teased more by Quackity or Sapnap which was fair.

“God we have to do something about those two,” Quackity said, feeling exasperated. Sapnap hummed in agreement. He’d have to add him to the group chat later so they could make jokes about their misery.

He wanted to talk with Sapnap more, but the bell above the door kept him from doing so. In walked a boy who was so drop dead gorgeous that had Quackity’s jaw on the floor. Easily the most noticeable thing about him was his smile which was toothy and wide and reminded Quackity of sunshine and flowers and everything good in the world. The best thing, he never stopped smiling! He walked in with the smile on his face, grinned as he walked up to the counter; he even giggled when Quackity was left helpless staring at him like a complete idiot.

“Hi,” he said.

“Um, h-hi. Can I take your order?” he stuttered out like a complete fool. The annoying ringing of Sapnap’s mocking laugh kept him grounded.

The boy just smiled- Quackity hoped he’d never stop. Not only did it not just light up his entire face, but the whole room. He felt the room was warmer than it had been without the boy.

“Yes you can,” he paused and looked down where his name tag was on his apron. “Alex.” Quackity was never the fondest of his actual name, but he found he didn’t mind when the boy in front of him said it with such an endearing and sweet tone. Like he was actually charmed by Quackity’s nervous behavior. And he was usually so suave. “A large caramel iced coffee, please.”

Quackity nodded and typed it onto the screen and grabbed a cup, marking off the corresponding boxes for Sapnap. “And what’s the name for that?”

“Karl with a K,” he said. If asked if Quackity wrote it neater and a swirly handwriting which wasn’t usual for him, he’d deny it. Sapnap noticed, though, when he picked the cup up and promptly snorted. Quackity sent him a glare and went back to printing Karl’s receipt and handing it to him. “You’re going to put your number on the cup, right? It’d be pretty awkward if you didn’t,” Karl said which left Quackity speechless. What hallmark movie bullshit was he living through.

“I can um yeah. I can do that. If that’s what you want,” he stuttered. The boy nodded and his smile seemed to grow. Quackity didn’t think it was possible.

“Looking forward to it.” He stepped away from the counter to find a seat somewhere and fiddle on his phone until his drink was ready.

“And I thought Dream and George were simps,” Sapnap laughed, handing Quackity the empty cup back. He quickly wrote down his number in the most legible numbers he could to avoid any possible confusion. “I think you got them beat,” he said while looking at the letters and numbers Quackity had written. They had been working partners for months; he knew what Quackity’s handwriting looked like.

“Shut the fuck up coffee monkey.”

After his shift ended and he got Sapnap’s permission to be added to the team Gream chat, Quackity hurried to check what he had missed on his phone. A lot, apparently.

325 unread messages

Oh geez. And he was only gone for an hour maybe. He settled for scrolling up a little and continuing from there.

Tommy: furry says “what”

Tommy: @Fundy

Fundy: what do you want

Tommy: HE SAID IT

Tommy: FUNDY IS A FURRY

Tommy: KILL IT

Tommy: KILL IT WITH FIRE

Fundy: I said “what do you want” you fuck

BBH: language >:(

Tommy: STILL COUNTS

Wilbur: Considering you had quotation marks around simply “what” leaving no implication for anything before or after it, I have to disagree, Tommy.

Tommy: shut up u text like a grandma

Gogy: GUYS HE TEXTED BACK

Tommy: no one cares Gogy

BBH: What did he say?

Gogy: Just “ok”

Gogy: I hate men

Sam: Bro, me too

Techno: Technically, you must care at least a little Tommy since you’ve stayed in the chat that is titled “George is Desperate and Lonely.”

Tubbo: oh that’s because I’m his only other friend :)

Tommy: WHA

Tommy: that is not true

Tommy: I have plenty of friends

Tommy: women friends

Fundy: Lonely person says huh

Fundy: @tommyinnit

Tommy: huh

Fundy: HAHAHSGSSGGSHS

Sam: Tommy why didn’t you just scroll up to see his message before…

Gogy: huh

Sam: I’m-

You have added Sapnap to the chat

You: heyyyy bitches im back

Bad: LANGUAGE!!!!!!!!

Gogy: WHY WOULD YOU ADD SAPNAP?!?!

You: aww sorry @sapnap Gogy doesn’t want u here :( guess u have 2 leave

Sapnap: Gogy your making me sad :(

Techno: first off, *you’re and secondly

Techno: Quackity your texting is atrocious

Bad: Aww George don’t make him sad ;-;

Gogy: he’s going to tell him! Sapnap has the biggest mouth here

Sapnap: Yeah so it’s easier for me to eat that ass

You: ayeeee

Fundy: please don’t aye to that

Sapnap: don’t worry Gogy I won’t tell him

Gogy: Thank you

Sapnap: I’ll just add him here and make you to confront what you feel for each other

Sapnap has added Dream to the chat

Gogy: SAPNAP

You: HUAWHUAWHUAWHU

Gogy changed groupchat name to “George is totally cool and awesome”

Dream: Okay I’ve been here for five seconds and I can tell you that’s a lie

Gogy: D:

BBH: Don’t D: George! I think you’re cool and awesome ^_^

Gogy: thanks Bad

Gogy: that means nothing coming from you

BBH: Anytime :)

Sapnap: Gays

Sapnap: I mean guys

Sapnaps: Want to know something funny that happened today

Sapnap: Our little quackity is in love OwO

Sam: Please never use OwO again

BBH: Aww! Good for you Quackity! UwU

You: STOP I H8 U ALL

Techno: You know, that’d be a lot more threatening if you actually used

Techno: G R A M M A R

You: Fuck off I don’t listen to English majors

BBH: GAHHHH

BBH: LANGUAGE!!!!!!

Gogy: Shut up!! I want to hear about Quackity’s love life

Fundy: it would be a great time for a change of topic from your own wouldn’t it?

Sapnap: It was a dude who came into the coffee shop today after Dream left

Sapnap: His name was Karl and when I say Quackity has a crush on him

Sapnap: I mean dude had fucking googoo eyes the moment he saw him

Sapnap: They literally twinkled like an anime character I stg

You: OKAY OKAY ENOUGH

Gogy changed groupchat name to “Quackity is in love UwU”

Awesamdude changed groupchat name to “Quackity is in love”

Gogy: I’m so proud of my gay son :’)

Sam: Ooo are we looking for more LGBTs?

Awesamdude has added The Eret and Antfrost to the chat

Eret: What is this?

Badboyhalo has added Skeppy to the chat

Gogy: Oh my God this has gotten out of hand

Chapter Text

Antfrost: Hi

Antfrost: What’s a Quackity

Sam: None of us know

Sam: Not even Quackity knows

You: tru

Dream: Okay considering I don’t know like half of the people in this chat

Sapnap: Not everything is about you you narcissist

You: Ooo Sapnaps pulling out his big boy words

Dream: Can everyone introduce themselves?

Dream: I’m Dream, senior, computer science major english minor

Wilbur: I will go next.

Wilbur: I’m Wilbur. I’m an English and Theatre double major. I am also a senior.

Antfrost: Um hi. I’m Ant, and I’m a junior. History major

You: yo im Quackity, junior, and a philosophy major going into pre-law

Techno: BAHAHAHHA

Techno: YOU

Techno: A LAWYER

You: Yeah bitch I can sue, incarcerate, and defend ur ass on trial

Sam: I don’t think that’s how lawyers work

You: Shut the fuck up or ur next tall ass

Dream: You have a lot of rage for someone who’s like 5’2

You: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

You: AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

You: go fuck yourself

BBH: I’m so done with you muffin heads

Skeppy: You can’t leave I just got here :(

BBH: Fine I’ll stay for you Skeppy <3

Sapnap: *cough gay cough*

Gogy: Get a life Sapnap

Tubbo: Are we still doing introductions?

Tubbo: Hi! I’m Tubbo I’m a junior in high school and I love bees :)

Tubbo: Tommy’s mum told him he has to unload the dishwasher but he’s a junior in high school as well

Eret: Why are there children here?

Gogy: idk ask Wilbur he added them

Wilbur: They were strays and hungry so I took them into my home.

BBH: o_o

Eret: I’m Eret and I’m a junior politics major

Sapnap: Y’all know my name. I’m a junior and a compsci major

Techno: I’m Technoblade. Senior English major

You: *throwing up noise*

Techno: I’m sorry you’re so short I couldn’t hear that. Can you repeat that?

Dream: AHHAHAHHA

Dream: I like you Techno

Techno: Yeah give it a week or so then get back to me

You: U ALL CAN ACTUALLY SUCK MY DICK

Eret: Buy me dinner first then I’ll consider

Dream: Okay okay who still hasn’t gone

Gogy: I’m a senior studying computer science and math minor

Fundy: how are you all computer science majors and I’ve never met you

Fundy: I’m a compsci major and a junior btw

Gogy: Dude we’re computer science majors that should be answer enough

Gogy: I like barely leave my apartment other than for class

Fundy: Touché

Bad: Hi everyone! I’m Bad and I’m a Biology major and Humanities minor ^-^

Bad: Skeppy is my boyfriend and he’s terrible at responding to texts but he’s a Chemistry major and we’re both seniors

Sam: I’m Sam and I’m a physics and chemistry double major and I’m a senior

Sapnap: Holy Shit dude

Sapnap: Did you just wake up one day and decide you wanted to die

Sam: Yeah pretty much

Tommy: I AM BACK

Tommy: ooo are we doing introductions

Tubbo: I already introduced you

Tommy: wtf man u made me sound so lame

Tubbo: I barely said anything about you!

BBH: language even in acronym form >:(

A ding signaling a new notification came from his phone, distracting Quackity from the conversation. He nearly dropped his phone as the new notification came over on the top of his screen.

New message from unknown number

Unknown: Hey this is Karl with a K from the coffee shop :)

You: Hey Karl with a K this is Alex

He opted for responding immediately because pretending to wait to respond when he had been staring at his phone moments before seemed impractical. He wanted to talk to Karl and get to know him better, not make him think he wasn’t interested.

Hopefully Karl would initiate conversation though because the only thing Quackity could think of responding with was “what are you doing.”

Karl: No pressure but your answer to this question will make or break our relationship

Karl: Were you a Nickelodeon Disney or Cartoon Network kid?

Fuck. What the fuck was he respond with if his answer could keep Karl from talking to him. He paused to think over the question logically. His guess was that Karl was either a ride or die Disney or Cartoon Network kid and Nickelodeon was the safe bet. Did Quackity have a preference even? The small crush he used to have on Freddie Benson from iCarly was answer enough for him.

You: probably Nick but like I can vibe with any of them

There. The truth but it also gave him some space to bounce back if it turned out to be the wrong answer.

Karl: Fair fair

Karl: Big Time Rush always hits different

Karl: You have passed the first test

Now in “Quackity is in Love” chat

You: HUAWHUAWHUAWHUAHWU

You: GUESS WHO PASSED MOTHERFUCKERS

BBH: Congrats Quackity! :D

Gogy: What grade did you get?

You: NONOBONO

You: im not talking bout a test

You: im talking about LooOoOOoooOOove

Ant: So you got Karl’s number?

You: hell yeah I did!1!1!!1!1!!!!11!!11!!

Wilbur: Wait. Karl as in Karl with a K? Karl Jacobs? He is good friends with Jimmy, isn’t he?

You: idk i guess?

Sapnap: Yeah that’s him

Wilbur: I think I know him. He did theatre his freshmen year.

You: oooOOOO

You: we have much to discuss

Wilbur: Nonsense. I’ll just add him here.

Wilbur has added KarlJacobs to the chat

You: WILBUR M

You changed groupchat name to “Everyone loves Alex”

Techno: Well that’s up for debate

Fundy: Fuck are we all going to have to introduce ourselves again

Fundy: Hi i’m Fundy I’m a compsci major junior

Tommy: and ur a furry

Fundy: I will not hesitate to drop kick you

Dream: we are not reintroducing ourselves Karl can scroll up if he wants

Karl: what can I do?

You: yo girl what that mouth do???

You: for legal reasons that was a joke

Karl: HAHAHAHAHHA

Gogy: Karl I think you killed him

Gogy: No one usually laughs at his jokes

Karl: o

Karl: Alex are you okay?

Tubbo: what’s an Alex?

Ant: I think Quackity is Alex

Tommy: oh i thought Quackity was his actual first name and his mother just hated him

You: I’m still alive

You: but I’m barely breathing

Gogy: Oh no

BBH: Ooo I remember that song!

You: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE BEST PART OF ME WAS ALWAYS YOU?

Karl: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY WHEN I’M ALL CHOKED UP BUT YOU’RE OKAY?

Techno: he actually spelled out “you”

Techno: It was for song lyrics but I’m counting it as a win

Techno: glorious day glorious day

Sam: You two were like meant for each other

You: HUAHWUAWHUAHWUHAUW SHUT THE FUCK UP

Karl: He has a point

You: brb just going to die real quick

Chapter Text

You: quick

You: George is in class and he’s 2 much of a goody 2 shoes 2 check his phone

You changed groupchat name to “George loves Dream”

BBH: o_o

You: DONT U DARE TOUCH A THING

You: @Dream

You: @Dream

You: IS DREAM IN CLASS?

Sapnap: nah he’s with me but he ain’t checking his phone

You: TELL HIM TO CHECK HIS PHONE DUMBASS

Sapnap: He won’t because he saw you mentioned him and that scares him

You: as it should tbh

You: Bad tag him hell listen 2 u

BBH: No no I’m not getting involved in your shenanigans

You: ugh i h8 u

You: is anyone else active??

BBH: You don’t mean that you love me

Skeppy: i love you

BBH: aww I love you too Skeppy :* <3

You: who the fuck even uses that anymore

BBH: me you muffinhead and LANGUAGE

You: UGGGHHHHHH

You: JUST TELL DREAM TO CHECK HIS PHONE

Sapnap: He isn’t

You: tell him George said he loves him in chat

Sapnap: He just said George is in class rn and never texts him in class

Gogy: I just got out of class what’s up?

Gogy: whAT IS THAT GROUPCHAT NAME

Gogy: QUACKITY IM GOING TO KILL YOU

Gogy changed groupchat name to “inconspicuous groupchat name”

You: don’t get ur panties in a twist he didn’t even see

Karl: I’m confused

Karl: does Dream not know you like him?

Karl: I thought you two were together

You: bruh Karl’s been here 4 thirty minutes and already ships u 2

You: just hurry up i stg were all going 2 have kidney stones b4 u get together

You: stop expecting him 2 make the 1st move u pussy

Gogy: I’m leaving

...

Techno: We’re waiting

Gogy: Bitch I made this chat I’m not actually leaving

You: were getting OFFTOPIC

You: JUST TELL HIM U BITCH

Gogy: IF I’M A BITCH THEN YOURE A BITCH TOO

Ant: Ooooh catfight

Dream: Ladies ladies you’re both bitches we get it

You: Oh now u check ur phone

Dream: Yeah I knew George got out of class and was texting

You: u 2 make me wanna

You: GAHHH

Eret: Very eloquent

Dream changed groupchat name to “inconspicuous groupchat name is not inconspicuous”

Sam: that sounds like a meme from 2010

Karl: Hi folks my friend Jimmy is hosting a party this Friday and everyone’s invited

Karl: It’ll be pretty rad just lmk if you plan on coming so we can get a rough estimate of people thanks :)

Ant: Wait Jimmy as in senior, president of Beta Sigma Theta?

Karl: Yep that’s him!

Sam: Holy shit those parties are legendary

Sam: I might stop by but it depends on how much studying I have to do

Karl: Completely understandable :) door’s always open

Techno: When you say everyone’s invited does that include the child?

Karl: the who?

Tommy: the asshole’s talking about me and Tubbo

Tommy: we’re juniors in high school

Karl: o

Karl: yeah probably best if you don’t come because there will be some alcohol and stuff sorry guys :(

Eret: oh if there’s boozes count me in

Eret: you americans with your 21 drinking age are weird af

Sapnap: i’ll be there too

Gogy: I’ll go if Dream goes

You: wow u couldn’t b more obvious George

Gogy: SHUT UP YOU FREAK

You: ill go

Karl: great! :) can’t wait to see you guys there!!!

Quackity couldn’t help but grin at the boy’s use of the smiley emoticon. It rightfully reflected his attitude when he saw him at the coffee shop, and it made him even more excited to see him again. It made him want to do something stupid.

Now in private chat with KarlJacobs

You: hey

You: I got a question for you

Karl: what’s up?

You: Were you a Toontown kid, a Club Penguin kid, or a MovieStar Planet kid?

Karl: Is this what we’re going to be? Just asking each other questions about our childhood

You: hehehhehe probably

You: but I’m looking forward to seeing you again at the party :)

Karl: I’m excited to see you again too :)

Karl: I know this is breaking our childhood nostalgia thing we got going on

Karl: but I was wondering if you were working tomorrow?

You: Yeah I work 2-7

Karl: awesome! that’s right after my photography class so I’ll probably stop by if that’s cool

You: yeah yeah of course

Behind his screen, Quackity was a mess of excited nerves and anticipation. If Karl could see his reaction, he was sure he’d never be able to face him ever again. It was a bit embarrassing.

Karl: btw

Karl: Webkinz :)

Quackity: fair fair

Now in private chat with GeorgeNotFound

You: bruh when did we become simps

You: im disappointed in us

Gogy: Tell me about it

Now in “inconspicuous groupchat name is not inconspicuous” chat

Fundy: Wanna hear a joke?

Fundy: What do you say when you visit a zoo with only one dog in it?

Fundy: Wow this is a shih tzu

Sam: I’m-

Skeppy: GUYS

Skeppy: I’M WITH BAD HE JUST READ YOUR TEXTS OUT LOUD

You: NO

BBH: Yeah I don’t get it

Gogy: OH MY GOD

Sapnap: BAD

Sapnap: BAD

BBH: WHAT’S GOING ON?!?!

BBH: I’M SO CONFUSED

Dream: The unprecedented.

Dream: Badboyhalo cursed.

Chapter Text

Tommy: FUCK

Tommy: I’M SO DONE

Tommy: I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS FUCKING SHIT

Tommy: WHY DOES THE WORLD SEEM TO ALWAYS FUCKING HATE ME I HATE IT HERE

BBH: What’s wrong????

BBH: also language

Tommy: THE FUCKING GROCERY STORE WAS OUT OF CACAO POPS WHICH IS THE ONLY FUCKING THING I EAT BECAUSE I HAVE THE TASTEBUDS OF A THREE YEAR OLD

Tommy: I AM LITERALLY GOING TO STARVE

BBH: TOMMY

BBH: I THOUGHT SOMETHING SERIOUS HAPPENED

Tommy: THIS IS SERIOUS

Tommy: SOMEONE CALL THE QUEEN

Techno: Ah yes because I have the queen on speed dial

Sam: Dude just go to another grocery store one is bound to have them

Ant: And eat a vegetable while you’re at it

Quackity stuffed his phone in his backpack since his break was up and he really didn’t need someone yelling for the whole cafe to hear that his break was up. Luckily, his working partner was Punz today and not Sapnap. He was a nice guy, but they weren’t necessarily close. If he made a complete fool of himself when (if) Karl came by then he could move on without having someone mentioning it to him every time he saw them. But even so, apparently he was still too obvious.

“Dude,” Punz said, catching the cup Quackity had dropped when the bell above the door rang. “What’s got you so distracted? You’re not usually like this.”

Quackity sighed, knowing he was acting off. Usually, he was suave and cool as a cucumber, but now he felt as graceful as Dream on ice skates (which is a hilarious sight by the way). He knew he was both trying to set himself up for both success and failure at the same time by snapping his head towards the door, forgetting about whatever he was doing, whenever he heard the bell chime. The amount in their tip jar was showing his error. He’d have to slip in a five or something for Punz’s sake before his shift ended because he really didn’t deserve this.

“Nothing. Just jumpy I guess,” he tried to pass off, but Punz just looked unimpressed.

“It’s the Karl dude, isn’t it?” he asked, knowingly. Immediately, he felt his cheeks burn in guilt and admission. Punz giggled at the obvious response.

“How’d you know?” From what he could remember, he hadn’t even spoken to Punz since he met Karl.

“Barista groupchat,” he answered with a shrug. “You and I both know Sapnap is the gossip in the group, and you never check it. You really should though because you can pick up some extra shifts with how many times Alyssa asks someone to cover her shift.”

Quackity groaned into his hands at the thought of Sapnap talking about him behind his back. He couldn’t blame him or anything since Quackity is also in the groupchat, but he’d rather not have the whole campus know about his crush on Karl who was a pretty popular guy.

“Don’t sweat it dude,” Punz laughed, patting Quackity on the back, almost causing him to topple over. “I’ll be your wingman.”

Because he didn’t know Punz that well, he wasn’t sure how to feel about the statement. He didn’t know if his intentions were to actually help him or embarrass him to gossip about it more later in the groupchat. Either way he couldn’t be a worse wingman than Sapnap, so he’d take it.

The bell above the door rang. “Is that him?” Punz asked.

“No,” he told him before breaking out into his worst and loudest British accent. “It’s a wild Gogy.” The Brit immediately turned to leave before Quackity yelled at him again, dropping the accent. “Get back here you muffin!” he demanded, knowing that it was probably best that he not cuss in front of so many customers. George turned around with a grin in his face, walking up to the counter.

“Hey Q,” George greeted, walking up to the counter.

“Hey,” Punz spoke up, a hint of flirtation evident in his voice. If only he knew. “I don’t think we’ve met yet. My name’s Luke, but most people call me Punz.” They shake hands and George introduces himself while Quackity can’t help but snicker. Neither of them have any clue as to what’s going on with George’s obliviousness to flirting and Punz’s ignorance to the situation. He couldn’t blame either of them (if George couldn’t identify Dream’s flirting with him there was no way he’d be able to know when a stranger was), but damn was it funny to watch. He’d have to explain it to Punz later, though, because he wouldn’t want it to go too far. Dream was a creature of havoc when jealous.

“I have class in a little bit and a project due tomorrow, so I need to keep myself awake,” George explained. “Get me the drink that has the most coffee without actually tasting like coffee in a large.” Quackity nodded, writing cinnamon caramel mocha with extra caramel on the cup for Punz. It was probably going to taste like a cinnamon roll, but that’s what George wanted. Punz looked at the cup and whistled lowly at it.

“Not a coffee lover?” he asked, obviously trying to start up a conversation as he made the drink, no doubt with extra of everything to indulge him. He even flipped the cup like some party trick to try to impress him. On the outside, Quackity couldn’t stop smiling at the painful sight, but inside he was howling with laughter that was becoming harder to cover up.

“Not really. I only really drink it when I need to. It’s saved my ass more time than I can count, though,” he explained. Punz hummed as he continued making the drink with an extravagant flourish to his actions. He poured the milk in from way higher than needed but not high enough to make the coffee in the cup splatter. When he topped it off with the caramel drizzle, he did a heart design with almost two shots worth of caramel, making sure George was watching him. After the theatrics, he pressed the lid onto the cup and handed it to him.

“Thanks,” he said, swirling the cup in his hand to mix its contents. He took a sip and grimaced from the undeniable hit of coffee. Punz frowned, looking a bit like a kicked puppy.

“Are you still planning on going to Jimmy’s party tomorrow?” Quackity asked before Punz could try out any more flirting tactics.

“Yeah, that’s the plan. I think Sapnap and I are meeting at Dream’s apartment if you want to head over together,” he offered.

“Sounds like a plan.”

With a nod and a “it was nice meeting you,” to Punz, George made his way out of the coffeeshop.

“So you know him?” Punz inquired with an obvious suggestive tone. “Think you could get me his number?”

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back that sent Quackity howling with laughter. “Trust me. You do not want to get with him,” he told him in between fits of laughter until he was left gasping for air and clutching his stomach.

“What? Why?!” he demanded to know with a horrified curiosity. He probably thought George was a serial killer or something.

“Trust me. It’s a whole can of worms you don’t want to deal with. Not even George is fully aware of the situation,” he told him which eased his pinched expression. He surrendered and accepted Quackity’s advice not to pursue that case any further.

“Hey Alex,” Karl said, making Quackity practically jump out of his skin. Of course, the one time he lets his guard down and he embarasses himself by letting out a girlish squeal because he wasn’t expecting to hear that voice from behind him. When he looked towards the door, he noticed George shooting him a smile and a thumbs up. He must have let Karl in the same time he was leaving.

“Oh. Hey Karl,” he said undoubtedly with a blush burning on his face.

-
You: @Georgenotfound u r the most oblivious person ever

Sapnap: yeah that’s pretty much fact at this point

You: yeah yeah we all know about that

You: but I mean what happened today at the shop

You: Punz was flirting the hell out of him and Gogy had no clue

Sapnap: HAHAHAHAH REALLY

Gogy: What?

Gogy: I have no clue what you’re talking about

Sam: Buddy, you’re not helping your case

Tubbo: What happened?

You: Punz was the other barista today 4 those who don’t know

You: Gogy orders and Punz is showing off so hard and trying 2 make convo

You: Worst part is he didn’t even realize he was clearly flirting back

Gogy: WHAT?!?!

Gogy: I don’t even know the guy how could I have been flirting back with him?!?!

Okay, it might have been a tiny lie that George was flirting back, but he hadn’t shot down his attempts at conversation. Quackity was just really interested in Dream’s reaction.

You: Poor George

You: Poor oblivious romantically challenged George

Gogy: @Quackity stop I was not flirting I barely talked to him

You: And that’s just it

You: u talked back 2 him

You: would u go out with him?

Gogy: I DONT KNOW I BARELY KNOW HIM

Tubbo: So if you knew him, you’d go out with him?

Gogy: MAYBE

Gogy: If he was like nice and shit

Sapnap: yeah he’s a nice guy

Sapnap: great sense of humour

Wilbur: Yeah, I know him as well. He’s very kind and has a great taste in music.

Tommy: @WilburSoot ur taste in music is literally the Mamma Mia soundtrack you don’t have a say in what’s good music

Sam: What I’m more concerned about is how he seems to know like everyone on this campus

Karl: I don’t know Punz well but I’ve been in a class with him

Karl: He’s like super smart

Dream: Okay okay we get it he’s like a God among men

Quackity couldn’t help but be sent into a cackling fit seeing Dream finally snap.

Dream: I bet he’s not that great. Probably doesn’t use deodorant or something gross like that

Gogy: Eww

Tommy: nah I bet he smells like strawberries

Tubbo: Ohhh I love strawberries

“Why are you laughing at your phone?” Punz asked as he took off his work apron. Their shift was over, and they were getting ready to leave.

“Nothing nothing,” he tried to pass off. It was a bit of a weird conversation to explain especially since he wasn’t in the groupchat and probably didn’t know any of the people in it. Though, scrolling through and rereading them, he realized he should probably warn him. “Just in case, if you see a really tall blonde dude called Dream or Clay walking towards you, I’d run.”

Chapter Text

Dream: Hey you guys want to see something funny?

Dream: George is in class rn so

Dream: George, I love you. I know I saw that to you often but I mean it. I’ve honestly had a crush on you for a long time, I’ve just been too scared because I don’t know if you feel the same.

Sam: I’m-

Techno: Wow.

Dream: Quick change the subject he’ll be too lazy to scroll up

Tommy: No no I don’t think we will

Dream: Okay then

Dream: AH

Dream: AH

Dream: AH

Dream: AH

Dream: AH

Dream: AH

You: stop

You: Are you stupid?

You: Dude you fucked up

Techno: Oh shit he’s using proper spelling

Sapnap: Yeah Dream that’s kind of messed up

Dream: Oh come on

Dream: I was making a joke nothing serious

Gogy: So that’s what your feelings are for me?

Gogy: A joke?

Tommy: well… this is awkward

Dream: Fuck

Dream: You know that’s not what I meant George

Dream: I promise I was just being stupid

Dream: What I said about my feelings are true

Gogy: I don’t want to hear it

Georgenotfound has left the chat

Fundy: I guess this is a bad time to make a joke about how fitting his username is in this situation

Techno: Probably

New message from Sapnap

Sapnap: Dude Dream feels like shit

You: He should you know how hard it probably is for George as well right now

You: His feelings have been stuck inside of him so long it’s like he’s fucking constipated

Sapnap: I know I know

Sapnap: I was wondering if you’ve talked to George to see if he’s okay

Sapnap: Make sure he doesn’t hate Dream now because he really was just fucking around but still genuine

Sapnap: He doesn’t want to try texting him just yet because he doesn’t want to upset him anymore

You: Yeah I’ll check in on him

Sapnap: Thanks man lmk how he’s doing

You: yeah ofc

Now in a private chat with Georgenotfound

You: George are you okay?

Gogy: Yeah just giving myself a moment to overreact in peace

You: You’re not overreacting

You: You know Dream and his sort-of-yet-not-completely-a-dipshit ways

You: That’s why he’s a Leo

You: You and I both know he’d never actually joke about something like that and not mean it

Gogy: I know but it still hurt

Gogy: I hate that I could never truly hate him. Something will always bring me back to him

You: It’s inevitable that you forgive him

You: That’s how I know it’s you George

You: It’s just your instincts telling you that he’s truly a good guy and you should listen to them

You: He’d never intentionally do anything to hurt you and vice versa

Gogy: Okay but seriously

Gogy: Like who is this Quackity. It’s like the normal Quackity keeps this Quackity locked in a cage or something and only lets him out from time to time

You: HAHHAHAHAH WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN

Gogy: It means you’re a good friend, Alex

You: Aww Gooooooooooogy <3 I love you too

Gogy: I never said that

You: But you meant it <3

Gogy: Yeah

Gogy: Yeah I did

You: Soooooo

You: Are you two finally going to get together or what? I’m actually about to lose my shit

Gogy: Mmmmmm

Gogy: Maybe

Gogy: The party’s tomorrow

Gogy: It’s true I’d never do anything to hurt him intentionally…

Gogy: But making him jealous…

You: ohhhhhhhh

You: I like where this is going

-

New message from Karl Jacobs

Karl: Hey you’re still coming to the party tomorrow right?

You: yeah that’s the plan :)

Karl: Awesome :)

Karl: It starts at like 9 but feel free to come by earlier if you want

You: Okay cool! Mind if George comes a little early too then??

Karl: Nope that’s completely cool

You: Awesome! See you there :)

Karl: Can’t wait :)

-

Now in “inconspicuous groupchat name is not inconspicuous” chat

You have added “Georgenotfound” to the chat

You have changed your name to Badboyhalo

You: Hey everyone let’s all go around and say our 10 favorite things about Skeppy

Gogy: This is what you add me back to the chat for?

Fundy: I like this new Bad

Tommy: hey @Badboyhalo

Tommy: What’s your opinions on drugs?

BBH: NO STOP

You: LOVE THEM

You: DO THEM EVERYDAY

BBH: STOOOOOPPPPPPPP

Sapnap: Hey @Badboyhalo can you recommend me a dealer?

Sapnap: I’m quitting mine because he doesn’t sell the stuff I like

BBH: QUACKITY

BBH: I FORBID YOU FROM ANSWERING HIM

You: Yeah @Sapnap I can hook you up

You: I know the best guy

You: Sells the best drugs

You: like weed

You: crack

BBH: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You: shrooms

You: heroin

BBH: STOP IT RIGHT THIS INSTANT YOU

BBH: YOU DUMB DUMB

Gogy: Woah Bad that’s a little harsh don’t you think?

BBH: NO IT’S NOT ME

BBH: IT’S QUACKITY

You: Hey everyone let’s all go around and say our 10 favorite things about Skeppy

Dream: You’re so stupid

You: AHHHH

You: LANGUAGE

You: LANGUAGE

You have kicked Dream from the chat

BBH: QUACKITY

BBH: STOP RIGHT NOW

Georgenotfound has added Dream to the chat

You: That’ll teach you not to swear in my good Christian server

Gogy: Please for the love of God change your name back

BBH: PLEASE

You: No you muffinfuck

You have changed your name to Quackity

You: BAD OH MY GOD

You: U CALLED GEORGE A MUFFINFUCK

You: WHAT IS WRONG WITH U

Techno: And he’s back...

BBH: I’M

BBH: AHHHHH

Skeppy: So are we not going around saying our 10 favorite things about me? :(

BBH: I’ll tell you my ten favorite things about you Skeppy :)

BBH: Right after I deal with these muffinheads >:(

Skeppy: <3

Chapter Text

Wilbur: SOMETIMES I WISH THAT I COULD FREEZE THE PICTURE

Wilbur: AND SAVE IT FROM THE FUNNY TRICKS OF TIME

Wilbur: SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS

Wilbur: SHE’S GROWING UP SO FAST

Sam: Uh… what

Techno: How many drinks have you had, bud?

Wilbur: AND SHE ASKS HER MOTHER TO HELP HER GET READY FOR HER WEDDING

You: I’M SO CONFUSED

Techno: @WilburSoot how many drinks have you had!!!!!!!

Wilbur: Vodka

Techno: That’s not what I

Techno: Dear lord

Techno: He’s watching Mamma Mia while drunk

Techno: Not an uncommon occurrence, but he needs supervision when drunk Mamma Mia watching

Techno: @WilburSoot is Phil with you?

Wilbur: No :(

Techno: I’ll be over before the movie ends @WilburSoot

Wilbur: WAHHHHH

Wilbur: SHE’S SINGING TO HIM

Wilbur: ON TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN

Wilbur: Why can’t they just be together and be happy? :(

Techno: I don’t know bud

Tubbo: Capitalism probably

Tubbo: It’s always capitalism

Now in private chat with “Georgenotfound”

You: uh do you think Wilbur is okay?

Gogy: Yeah he gets drunk and watches Mamma Mia like once a month at least

Gogy: Techno knows what’s he’s doing

You: Um okay

You: I’m omw to your apartment btw

Gogy: I thought I was going to your place? It’s closer anyway

You: No dude

You: bc I know you’re going to pick some wrong outfit and I’m going to need to go thro your closet

Gogy: what

Gogy: I can dress myself

You: Yeah?

You: What are you planning on wearing?

Gogy: idk

Gogy: a hoodie and pants

You: see you’ve already messed up

You: it’s a party you’re going to burn in a hoodie

You: I can bring over something saucy if you’d like

Gogy: UM NO

Gogy: NO THANKS IM GOOD

Gogy: MY CLOSET WILL BE FINE

You: :(

Gogy: Are you really going to make us walk the longer route just so you can choose my outfit?

You: Yes

Gogy: God you’re the worst

You: You gotta work with me George

You: We’re trying to get you laid

Gogy: i’m-

Well, it wasn’t a blatant denial. He ended up not responding instead, leaving George a bit on edge. The walk to his dorm building didn’t take long, and he knew what way to go to get to his room. A less than impressed Gogy opened the door and reluctantly let him into his small living space. As a senior the fucker had his own small apartment.

“Is this really not okay for a party?” he huffed, looking down at his ensemble. It consisted of dark blue jeans and a grey hoodie. Quackity gave him an unimpressed look in response. “What?! All Dream wears is jeans and hoodies.”

“Yes, but that’s because the dude is hopeless when it comes to fashion. You’ve seen his shoe selection,” he told him as he made his way back to George’s bedroom where his closet would be. George grimaced and follow him, grumbling out something that reluctantly agreed with Quackity.

Mostly, George’s closet was filled with similar hoodies that had the wide color range of gray to navy blue. There was a singular bright red hoodie that stood out amongst his closet though Quackity didn’t know why since he wouldn’t even be able to see it properly. He pushed the hoodies to the side and went through his shirts that hung on the other end of the closet, pulling out a bulky sweater. “Here wear this.” It was dark blue with a chunky knitting and a large collar that would show off a good amount of collarbone. It might seem too formal for a party to some, but in a world where softboy fashion was on the rise, Quackity would take his chances.

“What? I’m going to look like an English schoolboy if I wear this,” he scoffed, as if the material in his hands were offending him directly in some way.

Quackity smirked. “And how do you know that isn’t what Dream likes?”

It took a moment for George to process before his face scrunched up in realization. “God you’re disgusting.” Still, he went into the bathroom to change after handing him a pair of lightly ripped blue jeans.

“So? What do you think?” Quackity asked once George stepped out of the bathroom after he was able to get a look at his outfit.

“I still don’t see the problem with my outfit before,” he grumbled to which Quackity maturely rolled his eyes. “Even you’re wearing just jeans and a fucking windbreaker!”

“Yes, but I’m not trying to impress anyone tonight. Unlike you.”

“Uh huh,” he hummed, not convinced. “So you’re not going to try and talk to Karl tonight? He was the one who invited us to come early. I would say he’s a pretty fashionable guy.” Quackity didn’t want to give in, but what George said couldn’t help but make sense. He ended up switching his jacket out for one of George’s pullovers that had some graphic drawing on it that George probably didn’t have a clue as to what it meant. “So… what’s up with you and Karl anyway?” he asked.

Quackity wasn’t too open about his feelings towards the excitable brunette. He wasn’t as oblivious as George when it came to flirting, but he didn’t know Karl well. Maybe he was being overly cautious, but he didn’t want to put so much faith into something that maybe didn’t mean anything to Karl.

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I mean I like him, and I think he likes me too, but I don’t want to rush into anything in case he doesn't since I don’t actually know him that well.”

George wasn’t the best to go to for advice since he often complained about how much of a mess his own lie was, but he was a good listener. He appreciated that about his best friend on more accounts than he could count. “That’s reasonable,” he told him with a hum. “But I think you should be honest with him. Maybe tell him that you’re attracted to him in that way, but you value your friendship relationship more than anything.”

“And when did you become so wise? I knew it was common in old men like yourself,” he teased but keeping the words close to his heart.

George rolled his eyes and shoved Quackity playfully. They had made it to the BΣΘ house by the time George answered him. “You learn something after being in love with your best friend for years.” It was a bit of a long time success for Quackity for George to admit he had been in love with Dream as if he hadn’t just admitted it in a text message a week ago. God what that fucking groupchat has done for all of them.

The frat house was a pretty big house for how new the frat actually was. Compared to some of the other fraternities on campus, like Chi Iota Chi or Rho Psy Epsilon, “I can’t believe you fell for a frat boy,” George teased as Quackity knocked on the door.

“Shut up,” Quackity laughed, making the realization dawn on himself. Out of all of the people within their friend group, he never thought he’d be the one to fall for a frat guy, a question that had been brought up before in their late night calls. He had always put his money on Sapnap.

They were greeted by a brunette wearing glasses. At first, he was confused by them before a knowing smile broke out on his face. “Are you Alex?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

His smirk grew wider. “Hey Karl, Alex is here,” he shouted back into the house with a teasing lilt. George and Quackity exchanged uneasy glances. “I’m Chandler. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Does Karl talk about Alex?” George questioned like he already knew the answer.

“Oh yeah. All the time,” he said which made George giggle and his cheeks heat up seeing the way Chandler’s gaze was suggesting something along with wiggling eyebrows.

Luckily, Karl showed up at the door before he could think too hard as to what he was suggesting. “Hey Alex,” he said in a sort of breathy, admiring tone that made his heart stop or a moment. Maybe he really did like him in the way he hoped he did.

“Hi Karl,” he said, feeling the giddiness bubble in his gut making him feel like a school girl with a school girl crush. How could he not while looking at Karl’s fluffy hair and soft gray eyes that held so much wonder for the world. He didn’t know Karl well, but it stood out to him immediately how eager he was looking at the world as if through a camera. He could never not find the beauty in it. No wonder he was a film and photography major.

“Uh, why don’t you two come inside?” he suggested, him and Chandler moving out of the doorway. It was surprising when they walked in to see there were already a good amount of people there talking to each other. Mostly it was guys, so he figured it was other fraternity members. It was still obvious the party hadn’t started yet because the lights were still on and there was no music meaning no one was dancing. “I’m sorry to just leave you guys like this, but I need to go help get the DJ set up,” Karl apologized. “Drinks are free over there. If you guys don’t want alcohol, just tell them and they’ll get you a sada.”

“Don’t worry about it, Karl,” he told him sincerely which eased some of the other’s nerves. “George and I can handle ourselves.” Plus, they needed to come up with a strategy for tonight. “Do you have any clue what you’re going to do tonight?” he asked George when Karl walked away.

The boy suddenly looked nervous when he shrugged. “I don’t know. I was just going to like ignore him I guess. Talk with other people I know.” Dream hated being ignored, that was a fact. He often clung and demanded George or Sapnap’s attention like a toddler. It was a fine idea, but not great. They didn’t want Dream to get the wrong idea, either.

“You need something that’ll make him mad mad,” he told him while the cogs were turning in his head. Then it walked right up on their doorstep. Sort of literally since Punz walked into the house the moment Quackity finished what he was saying. They locked eyes, and immediately Punz flushed. “Bingo.”

The blonde walked up to them acting a little sheepishly. “Hey,” he said, then turning to George. “I’m sorry if I was a bit forward when we met or something. I didn’t know that things were a little complicated for you.”

George smiled, but Quackity answered before he could. “No worries, man. George didn’t even realize you were flirting with him since he has a dense skull.” He promptly ruffled George’s hair which made the other squawk and push himself away from him while Quackity and Punz laughed. While he hurried to fix it, an idea was forming in Quackity’s head. “So we’re trying to get George together with our other friend tonight-“

“Dream?” he interrupted.

“Yeah. They’ve finally confessed their feelings, but right now the situation is sort of tense and jealousy works wonders on Dream. Like his testosterone levels sky rocket.”

“And you want my help to make him jealous?” he asked a little skeptical which made Quackity’s hopes sink a little.

“Yes. And I’ll cover your next two shifts at the coffee shop and give you half of the money,” he offered.

Punz considered it for a moment before agreeing. “Sure, dude. I honestly would’ve done it for like 5 dollars, but whatever you say.”

Quackity laughed. “Trust me. You’ll have a strange tall, lanky blonde staring daggers into you from across campus for at least a week. You’ll need more than five dollars.” Punz’s amused grin fell, but he also didn’t back out.

“Um, okay. Well, whenever you guys want to find me I’ll probably be at the beer pong table.”

“Thanks Punz!” he called out as he left them alone.

“Quackity!” George chided while hitting his arm. It actually hurt which was surprising. “You didn’t have to do that. I can bribe my own tall blondes.”

“Yeah yeah,” he pushed off while rubbing his arm. Fuck he didn’t knew George was actually strong. Or maybe he was just sensitive. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Well, I’m coming in the next time you work and giving you a 20 dollar tip. And don’t share it with anyone else.”

“Dude that’d be the same thing as giving me 20 dollars now.”

“But that takes away the sentiment of it,” he protested which made Quackity roll his eyes. He wouldn’t be surprised if George forgot, but he also didn’t tell Punz he’d take over his shifts for George’s money. That’s what blackmail was for, and he had plenty of George blackmail when the time is right.

It was fifteen minutes until the start of the party when he got a text.

New message from Sapnap

Sapnap: Are y’all at the party?

You: Yeah me and Gogs are already here

Sapnap: Cool Dream and I are about to walk over

Sapnap: he’s been so grouchy since what happened in gc please tell me you’re working on something

Sapnap: he’s watching old football games and screaming at the screen I can’t handle this much longer

You: I gotchu bro

You: Just wait until like 15 minutes after the party starts I’m bout to get Gogy drunk

Sapnap: Sweeeeeet

It took fifteen minutes later for George to be holding his second drink of the night (Quackity still was holding his first) when Sapnap called him. George was looking over his shoulder in curiosity, and Quackity told him to stay quiet before answering. His phone had been right up to his ear which had turned out to be a mistake on his point because immediately he heard Dream screaming, “HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FUMBLE THE BALL LIKE THAT. YOU FUCKING DESERVED TO LOSE BY 30 POINTS. WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT.” He had to give him props for how loud he could be since it sounded like Sapnap was in a completely different room. After that he held the phone a good enough distance from his ear.

“Do we really have to wait 20 more minutes before we come over?” Sapnap complained. “I’m literally in the bathroom right now and he has the football game on highest volume. He’s getting so many complaints from his RA.”

“Then distract him. Make him change his clothes or something. I’m sure he looks like trash.”

“It’s probably going to be hard to get him to change into something better. He doesn’t have a wide variety of clothes. You’ve seen his shoe collection.”

“Yes yes, we’re all aware he has shoes that make his feet look like Mitch McConnell’s hands. But we need people to be at the party. You’re going to have to wait it out,” Quackity told him.

“YOU'RE ALL FUCKING SHIT. HOW ARE YOU ON AN NFL TEAM?!” he heard Dream yell in the background.

“DREAM,” Sapnap yelled back. “Stop yelling at the TV they can fucking hear you! this game happened like three years ago.”

“Oooh is that Sapnap?” George asked with the barest hint of alcohol evident in his tone. God he was such a lightweight. He snatched the phone right out of his hand. “Hi Sapnap,” he said. “I’m about to finish my second one. How’s Dream?” Quackity took his phone back and put it between them, putting on speaker.

“He misses you. Y’know how it goes.” Once again, they could hear Dream screaming about football in the background which made George break into a fit of giggles.

“Aww. Tell him I miss him too.”

“No no. We have a plan tonight that we need to stick to.”

“God why is there no FUCKING ALCOHOL here,” Dream complained loudly in the background followed by the slam of a cabinet.

“We’re leaving for the party soon. There’ll be alcohol there,” he told Dream. Suddenly, the lights in the house turned off and the different colored lights turned on, setting the atmosphere.

“Okay, the party’s about to start. Leave Dream’s place in 15 minutes.”

“Aye aye captain,” Sapnap deadpanned.

“Is that Sapnap?” Karl asked, appearing beside them.

“Is that Karl?” Sapnap mimicked.

“You know it is, baby!” he cheered which made Quackity smile. He already knew George was teasing him for it in his head.

“Are you coming to the party?”

“Yeah. Quackity is making us wait, though. We’ll be there in like 10 minutes.”

“FIFTEEN,” Quackity corrected.

“Aww does Alex want me all to himself?” Karl teased which made his cheeks heat up. Hopefully it was dark enough so he couldn’t tell. He hated this.

“Yeah, Quackity. I thought we’re all supposed to share,” Sapnap pouted.

“Don’t worry about him. I’ll see you soon,” Karl said in a non-serious tone, yet something resonated in Quackity that made him swallow the lump in his throat. “Love you!” Karl said, followed by a kissing noise which Sapnap reciprocated.

Something broke. “Chandler!” Karl yelled, beginning to walk away. “That was the vase Jimmy specifically told us not to break!” Suddenly things became awkward as Quackity wasn’t sure what to do, George was coming close to being fully drunk.

“I’ll uh see you soon, Sapnap,” Quackity said, feeling a bit dejected before hanging up. Maybe he was overthinking it. But maybe he wasn’t.

He downed the rest of the drink in his hand and grabbed another. “What are you going to do now?” George asked soberly even though his eyes were dilated and he was close to vibrating.

Quackity took another heavy swallow, drinking half of the drink in his hand ignoring the inevitable feeling of regret that was already appearing in his mind. “Something stupid probably.”

Chapter Text

Techno: Wilbur I’m here open up

Techno: WHY DO I HEAR AMANDA SEYFRIED SINGING HONEY, HONEY???

Wilbur: HONEY HONEY HOW HE THRILLS ME

Wilbur: UH HUH HONEY HONEY

Techno: God damnit Wilbur

Turned out, Alex could hold his alcohol quite well. Even three drinks in, the happy buzz that he usually felt when drinking was barely affecting him. The edges were blurred, but deep down he was repeating in his head what had happened. His hope was remaining afloat from a fraying string, but he pushed all of his anxieties aside to focus on his friend.

It was kind of funny, actually. George seemed like he wanted to care for Quackity and make sure his friend was doing okay, but the alcohol kept his attention span not much longer than one of a goldfish. It was nice knowing sober George would have dropped everything to make sure his friend was still up for the rest of the night, but it was more entertaining seeing drunk George bouncing from topic to topic like an energetic bunny.

“When’s Dream coming? Is Punz still at the beer pong table? Do these jeans make my butt look good? Do you still like Karl? Is my shirt blue or am I colorblind?” he asked in rapid succession.

His face was beet red, a symptom of the alcohol, and he was giggling nonstop. Dream was going to kill Quackity when he sees what he’s done to George. That or he’s going to make sure he gets drunk every weekend from now on to make fun of what he’s like intoxicated.

“Don’t worry about it George. You look great, and I’m looking out for you. Punz knows what he’s doing. Just make sure Dream doesn’t punch him, okay?” he said, keeping his sentences short and to the point.

“Dream don’t punch,” he repeated as if speaking to the boy himself. “Got it!” He beamed like a golden star sticker. At least he was excited. Sober George would probably be freaking out and trying to back out last minute.

New message from Sapnap

Sapnap: like 2 mins away

You: Gotcha

You: Make sure you go to the beer pong tables first

You: AND DONT LET DREAM DRINK ANYTHING FIRST

You: We don’t want him to get drunk and punch Punz

Sapnap: PUNZ?!?!

Sapnap: YOU CANT GET PUNZ INVOLVED IN THIS

Sapnap: I mean yeah he can be a bitch sometimes

Sapnap: BUT NO ONE DESERVES DREAM AFTER THEM LIKE THAT

You: Don’t worry he’s in on it he knows the consequences

Sapnap: Does he really???

You: Well

You: That’s up for debate but I did give him a fair warning

Quackity smirked, looking at George who was beginning to turn giddy. “Time to get your flirt on pretty boy.” He led him towards a sort of secluded area of the main floor where a lot of people were crowding a ping pong table set up with red solo cups filled with beer. They all cheered as a girl got one of the balls in the cup to which one of the boys on the opposing team begrudgingly picked it up and chugged it. From the way he stumbled and was going a bit cross eyed as he took his shot after, Quackity guessed he was a bit past drunk.

Punz noticed them walking towards the table and said to the crowd, “alright me and George are going next round,” to which the drunk team of guys readily agreed because they were getting their asses kicked. It didn’t take long for the game to end, and Punz and George stepped up to the table as new cups were being put down and refilled.

Quackity situated himself in a spot with a good view of both the front door and the game at the table. The other team took the first shot and got it in a cup. Punz took the drink.

“Is this a part of a plan or something?” Karl asked, scaring Quackity who hadn’t noticed him approaching.

“God damnit you need like a bell around your neck or something so I know when you’re approaching,” he huffed trying to hide his blush. Karl giggled.

“That, or you’re just easily scared,” he teased which made him roll his eyes. He doesn’t scare easily. He’s gotten like halfway through Outlast.

“I am not,” he refuted in a way that reminded himself of a five year old. Okay, not helping his case.

“Oh you so do.” He paused as the game continued. “Any good at beer pong?”

And that was how they ended up going against George and Punz in beer pong which, in retrospect, probably wasn’t the best idea since the losing team would theoretically have to drink 10 cups of beer between them. But no one wanted to go to the hospital to get their stomach pumped, so realistically that wouldn’t be the punishment of the losing team.

Karl was good at beer pong. He was able to concentrate and get a good bounce for the ball to go into the corresponding cup. After drinking the cup Punz landed a ball in, Quackity wasn’t as good. His fuzzy lines became blurry and unfocused as he began laughing at every little thing surrounding them. Karl had had a few drinks, but he was easily the least intoxicated of the people surrounding them.

“Dream’s here,” Karl whispered to Quackity as if he had been in on the plan this whole time. He looked up noticing that Dream, who was easily seen because of his height, was at the door looking pissed. Usually, he was pretty laid back most of the time but now he looked like he was arriving to kill someone.

Punz must have noticed that Karl and Quackity saw Dream, and he inched closer to George who was about to take his turn. He laid himself around the shorter’s back, taking his hands in his to help him aim. His head was rested on George’s shoulder who was laughing probably from the tickling his facial hair was causing on the side of his neck. He wasn’t sure if he was actively going along with it or if he was too drunk to concentrate. Damn Punz was good.

The crowd seemed to part as Sapnap dragged Dream over to the beer pong table. “I want to get drunk, Sapnap. I don’t want to have to throw a stupid ball into a cup to get it,” he grumbled, but Sapnap wasn’t letting him go. Honestly, Quackity had no clue what would happen when Dream saw George and Punz together. Maybe the world would split down the middle. Maybe he’d storm out or maybe he’d kiss George in front of everyone. But he surprised him. He huffed like an angry bull when he noticed the two and turned to Sapnap. “Which team are you joining?”

Sapnap smirked, probably making Dream regret giving him the decision. “I’ll join Karl and Quackity.” Dream’s face fell, but he had dug his own grave, so he begrudgingly joined George and Punz’s side. Quackity couldn’t help but laugh because of how obvious it was that Dream was not enjoying himself. At least Punz eased up his flirtation when Dream took his spot on the team and pulled away from George. As he was taking his first shot, Dream put his hand on George’s shoulder which startled him. He leaned down and whispered something into the brunette’s ear which immediately made him blush and then nod.

“What do you think he said?” Quackity asked Sapnap who was also watching the scene go down.

“I don’t know, but I guess it’s a good sign George said yes?” he wondered. He was right, Dream visibly relaxed when George nodded.

“C’mon guys,” Karl said, bringing them back to the game in front of them. “Let’s win this thing!”

After playing with new non-intoxicated players, Quackity’s team had only 1 cup left while Two Blondes and a Brunette had 3 to go. That was probably mostly due to George being heavily intoxicated. Quackity had game point. He stepped up with the small orange ball held tight in his hand.

He focused, blocking out the loud music and low lights around him to concentrate. There was a full cup in the middle of the barrage of empty placeholders that was in his line of sight. A sitting duck.

He brought his hand back to bring it forward for the right amount of momentum. And with a concentrated exhale, he let the ball go.

It bounced on the table, ricocheting towards its target. With bated breath, he watched as it tapped the rimmed of the cup heading inwards.

It tapped the opposite side of the red solo cup, almost teetering it over. But then, the cup fell back on its flat bottom, stilling it. The ping pong ball plopped into the beer.

Sapnap let out a high pitched cheer, throwing his arms in the air with a screeching, “suck it green boy!” directed at Dream. Karl was similarly loud, his voice breaking through the rest of the cheers from the people who had been watching the tense game. Quackity was celebrating in a more subdued manner than his teammates, but he gasped and hollered when his feet were lifted off the ground. Both Karl and Sapnap had a hold on him and his feet were barely off the ground, but he also felt like he could throw up and that would be too embarrassing to live with.

“Put me down,” he demanded while the cheering continued from his two friends. The rest of the noise from the people surrounding them had settled down. After a moment more, they lowered him to the floor and he huffed. “Never do that again,” he ordered a scowl and hypocritical red cheeks.

“Whatever you say, Big Q,” Sapnap teased, reaching to sling his arm around his shoulder, acting like he was a lot taller than him when he only had like 2 inches on him. Karl had to reach up a little to rest his elbow on Quackity’s head.

“Nice job, boys,” he said. Quackity rolled his eyes before shaking the both of them off as well as the butterflies in his stomach.

They moved aside for new teams to play a game. Karl and Quackity quit their alcohol intake for the time being, but Sapnap was still sober. “Uh, where’s Dream and George?” Karl asked. Quackity looked to see that they were in fact gone.

“Where’d they go?”

“Eh they can take care of themselves,” Sapnap said. “I’m getting another drink.”

Karl said he had to do a round and make sure no one was doing things where they shouldn’t be, and Quackity really didn’t want to do that, so he went with Sapnap towards the drink table. He grabbed a beer while Quackity took a coke.

It was a bit awkward as the two usually had coffee to talk about when they were alone together. Now, they were surrounded by loud music, drunk people, and the reek of alcohol and things were awkward.

He wanted to ask Sapnap about Karl and if they were together, but it would be sort of rude if he came out of the gate with that. Wouldn’t it be?

Drunk Quackity didn’t care apparently because he said, “so are you and Karl dating?” before he could screw his mouth shut. Sapnap considered it for a moment while drinking.

“Nah,” he said as if he hadn't just thought about saying something else. “Why? Do you like him or something?”

It would’ve been a lot easier if he had just told the truth and said yes (because Sapnap was his friend. He could trust him, right?), but Quackity was stubborn. “Pfft. No,” he said unconvincingly. Sapnap hummed.

“Hmm. Sounds like Gogy.”

Quackity gaped before saying, “oh that’s a low blow.” Sapnap only smirked. “Do you know him well?”

“Yeah, I guess. He’s actually been stopping by the coffee shop for a while and he’s pretty chatty so... Honestly I’m surprised that was your first day seeing him,” he told him. “I think he likes you.”

Oh.

“He does not like me. You’re lying,” he believed but Sapnap only shrugged, taking a sip from his cup. He was lying. That was one of the things Sapnap did when he was joking around at his friend’s expense. He was lying.

“Who’s lying?” Karl asked. It had become like a second sense to Quackity who hadn’t been jumped at suddenly hearing his voice again. He always showed up at the most opportune moments.

“Quackity to himself,” Sapnap smirked before Quackity could tell the truth of what was actually going on. “Anyone getting it on?” he asked a bit crudely. Karl chuckled.

“No, thank the lord. It’s a bit early, though. I had to stop some straight couple during their make out session, though. God it was ugly,” he cringed.

“Everyone hates straight people,” Quackity said mindlessly which made Karl burst into laughter and Sapnap giggle.

“I’m going to search for Dream and George,” Sapnap announced, beginning to walk off. Quackity looked like he was going to join because he wanted to know if their night had been a success, but Sapnap shot him a glare to tell him he had to stay with Karl. He stayed in his place.

“You wanna dance?” Karl asked before standing like a starfish and wiggling his arms in a wave motion back and forth.

Quackity couldn’t help himself before he bursted out into loud laughter, doubling over. “Wh-what is that?” he stuttered in between large gasps for breath. Karl giggled while smiling proudly for making Quackity laugh that hard.

“My signature move,” he said suavely. His loud laugh simmered down into a far away smile. He was crashing.

Quackity was at a loss to what to do. He could continue small talk until his feelings became so concentrated it popped like a bubble and he did something irredeemably stupid or he could bite the bullet and take a chance now. George had told him to chance it, and if Karl was worth it, he’d continue being his friend. But maybe Quackity wasn’t cut out for that. If Karl didn’t want to date him, it wouldn’t be the end of the world, he knew that. But what if he couldn’t stand being friend zoned? He was a creature of jealousy, no matter how much he tried to deny the similarities between him and Dream, and he wasn’t sure how he would be able to keep himself sane.

Every logical part of him told him to wait. That he could handle waiting a little over the thought of rejection. He could try and figure out what Karl wanted. But Sapnap had told him that he thought Karl liked him.

Gah! It was too much to think about while drunk. His head was spinning, and Karl suddenly looked at him with concern. “Are you okay?” he asked softly.

Quackity took a deep breath. “Yeah, just the alcohol,” he waved off.

“We can go someplace quieter,” he offered before taking his hand and leading him towards a staircase. His heart felt like it was in his throat as he blindly followed Karl up the stairs and to somewhere a lot less busy. On the second floor, there were only a couple of people stuck in their own conversations in the long hallway with many doors as it was off limits to everyone else because it was where the fraternity members lived. There was noise coming from behind some of the doors, but not a lot of them.

Karl led him to a door that had his name on it along with the logo from Codename: Kids Next Door printed out and tapped on. He took a small key he had on him and opened it letting Quackity inside. “Sit anywhere you’d like. Can I get you something to drink? I got Arizona Arnold Palmer, blue gatorade, and water.”

“I’ll take a water,” Quackity said, sitting on the comfy neatly made bed in the corner. It was raised slightly off the ground so his legs dangled off barely above the floor. The room was a lot nicer than he had thought it would be. In his mind where frat houses were filled with empty beer cans, dirty bathrooms, and clothes thrown across bedroom floors, Karl kept his space pretty tidy. He couldn’t help but look around at all of the different posters from different old Cartoon Network shows hanging on the wall. There was also a burning candle in the corner that made the room smell sort of like cinnamon or the forest; Quackity had no clue. It smelled nice.

Karl handed him an unopened bottle of water. “I like your room,” he said awkwardly. It was a bit to relieve some of his internal tension, but also if Karl tried to strike up a conversation about any of the TV shows shown on his walls, Quackity was screwed.

“Thanks,” he said with a genuine smile. “Are you feeling better? You looked pretty pale down there.”

Quackity sighed. “Yeah. I’m not usually like that, but I appreciate, um,” he paused, using his hand to motion around them. He hoped his message was conveyed because he really wasn’t sure what else to say.

Thankfully, Karl understood. “Of course.”

He looked at Quackity like he was expecting something. The nerves tightened in his stomach as he distracted himself by running his thumb along the ridges of the cap off the water bottle. “Can I ask you something?” He suddenly felt more sober than he was five minutes ago or even five hours ago.

“Of course,” he repeated.

There were so many things he could say, and he tried to think over every one of them. He still had the chance to turn back and ask something stupid like if he made coffee to Karl’s liking. He could ask if Karl thought they could be more than friends. Hell, he could confess something he wasn’t sure was true, but it might as well be. It was like a crossroads except there were like… thirty different roads.

He went with his gut. “What was your first impression of me?

Karl paused to think as if he was surprised. Quackity’s life felt like it was ticking away at every second. “Well, I thought you were really attractive,” he admitted. “Then I talked to you a little bit, and you seemed really nice. Then, when we started texting, I found out you were so funny. But, I also know now that you were caring, and loyal, and thoughtful.” Quackity was a loss of words. “What was your first impression of me?’

Quackity had to keep from saying the first word that came to mind which was HOT. Once again, his gut seemed to provide the answer, but he knew it was the right answer. “The first thing I noticed was your smile because it always felt so genuine. Then your laugh which is so cute and funny. And when I got to know how charming and kind you are I thought…” he trailed off to keep himself from saying anything further.

“What do you want us to be, Alex?” he asked in a calm tone. He didn’t sound accusatory nor hopeful.

The pressure of the world felt like it was suddenly on his shoulders as he fiddled with the bottle cap in his hands. That was the question, wasn’t it?

“I don’t know. Sometimes all I can think about is that I want to kiss you.”

And there it was. All out on the table.

Slowly, that beautiful smile appeared which made Quackity’s heart flutter. “You have no idea how many times I’ve thought the same thing.”

A weight fell off of his shoulders and he let out a relieved breath. “So, what do we do now?” he asked before answering his own question. “Do you want to get dinner or something sometime?”

His smile grew impossibly larger when he began leaning in. Quackity was beginning to lean in as well before his phone dinged. Then dinged again. And again.

He blushed at the intrusion, but something was obviously happening so he stopped whatever was going to happen. “Sorry,” he apologized sheepishly before digging out his phone. “Oh my fucking God it’s Sapnap,” he groaned feeling like he could kill him in that moment for interrupting something he had no clue was going on.

“What does he want?” he asked curiously, almost worriedly.

New messages from Sapnap

Sapnap: DUDE

Sapnap: I FOUND DREAM AND GEORGE

Sapnap: THEY WERE KISSING

Chapter Text

You: U GUYS

You: THIS IS A CAUSE OF CELEBRATION

You: GEORGE AND DREAM FINALLY GOT THEIR HEADS OUT OF THEIR ASSES AND GOT TOGETHER

Sam: WOOOOO

Karl: ME QUACKITY AND SAPNAP WITNESSED IT FIRST HAND

You: BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE :’)

You: IT WAS A MOMENT LITERALLY STRAIGHT FROM A TAYLOR SWIFT MUSIC VIDEO

Karl: @Quackity

Karl: Youre thinking what I’m thinking right?

Karl: Romeo save me I’ve been feeling so alone

Karl: I keep waiting for you but you never come

You: Is this in my head? I don’t know what to think?

Karl: HE KNELT TO THE GROUND AND PULLED OUT A RING AND SAID

BBH: woah wait DID HE PROPOSE?

Dream: WHAT?

Dream: NO

You: It was truly a magical moment :’)

Karl: Thank you for letting us be there to witness it

Gogy: God can you two shut up

Gogy: You woke us up

You: MCXUSE ME?

You: US?

You: US?

Karl: US?

You: US?

Sapnap: Damn you two take longer than two turtles then suddenly go brrrrr

Gogy: STOP

Gogy: It’s not like that

Gogy: We did NOT do that last night

Dream: drunk George wanted to though

Tommy: yeahhhhh get em big d

Dream: whAT

Dream: DON’T CALL ME THAT

Gogy: Actually I like it

Tommy: what do u want me to call u? little D?

Dream: JUST DREAM IS FINE

Tommy: fine “just dream”

Tommy: ur boring

Sapnap: Big D is accurate tho

Bad: CAN WE PLEASE CHANGE TOPIC???

You: NO

You: GREAM IS MY IRL SOAP OPERA I NEED 2 KNow WHAT HAPPENED

Gogy: Quackity wtf

Dream: our ship name is not GREAM

Sam: that sounds like the sound a dog makes when it’s throwing up

You: AHAHAHAHAH IT DOES

Ant: what about Dreorge?

Wilbur: No, that sounds too close to deranged.

You: fitting 4 Gogy since it takes a deranged person 2 want 2 d8 Dream

Dream: at least if I want to date someone shorter than me I don’t have to go looking for Hobbit Holes

Fundy: WAIT

Fundy: Dream + Gogy = DOGY

Tubbo: Aww when they go out on dates we can say they’re going out in dogy style ^_^

Techno: Okay so Dogy is off the table

Techno: Forever

Fundy changed groupchat name to “Dogy style ;)”

Gogy: Stop why do you guys care so much about our ship name anyway???

Gogy: and either way it’d be Dreamnotfound

You: ah yes how could I forget you writing it in all of your notebooks when you weren’t paying attention in class??

Karl: Damn Alex you really went out and exposed him like that??

You: were POPPING OFF

Gogy: I hate it here

Wilbur: Are we just going to ignore the fact that George + Clay would literally make their ship name "Gay"?

New message from Georgenotfound

Gogy: hey man sorry I left you at the party how’d you and Karl go??

You: its fine nbd

You: turns out the night turned out pretty good for the both of us!! :D

Gogy: oooooh what happened???

You: you first

Gogy: there’s not much to tell

Gogy: I don’t remember most of it tbh

You: LMFAOOOOOO

You: HOW MUCH DID I LET YOU DRINK??

Gogy: idk Dream told me I had about as much grace as a newborn giraffe

Gogy: I tried to kiss him for the first time and missed

You: …

You: where’d you kiss

Gogy: STOP

Gogy: GOD GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER

Gogy: I just kissed like his chin or something

You: Just making sure

You: As your certified best friend I need to know these types of things

Gogy: Actually my best friend is probably Sapnap

You: GEORGE

You: fine if you’re going to be like that

You: I’m not telling you what happened between me and Karl

Gogy: wtf man

Gogy: fine you’re my best friend

You: No you have to send “Quackity you are my best friend” in its own text

Gogy: ugh youre so dramatic

Gogy: Quackity you are my best friend

You: hahaha thanks sucker

Gogy: TELL MEEE

You: when did we become dramatic housewives that thrive off of each other’s gossip??

Gogy: IDK AND IDC

Gogy: TELL ME

You: well we almost kissed

You: until Sapnap texted me that he saw you and Dream kissing

You: But it’s on the table that we both like each other and now I guess next we have to figure out like

You: a date

Gogy: are you fucking kidding me

Gogy: Sapnap fucking cockblocked us both within like 5 minutes of each other

Now in “Dogy style ;)” chat

You: @Sapnap

You: [a screenshot image of his conversation with George. Cropped just to show George’s pfp sending “Quackity you are my best friend”]

You: SUCK IT COCKBLOCKER

Sapnap: Oh I intend to

Chapter Text

Gogy: @sapnap are you okay

Gogy: you’ve been listening to Mr.Brightside for the past hour and a half

Wilbur: Oh, I love that song! I listen to it so much.

Tommy: that explains so much actually

Sapnap: I’ll text you @Georgenotfound

Gogy: Fuck I was just memeing I’m not good with anyone’s else’s problems

Gogy: I have too many of my own D:

Now in a private chat with Sapnap

You: Hey are you okay?

Sapnap: Yeah I’m fine

You: Are you sure? You know I’m always here if you need to talk

Sapnap: I know I’m fine

You: okay

Now in a private chat with Georgenotfound

You: Do you know what’s up with Sap? He seems really off

Gogy: I’ve talked to him he’s okay don’t worry about it

You: okay

-

Dream: Idea

You: Considering how well ur last idea went let’s not

Dream: Nah this one is better

Dream: and I already got George’s consent

Sam: whERE IS THIS GOING

Sapnap: DUDE GROSS

Dream: GOD NO

Dream: I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT

Gogy: HE DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT YOU SICKOS

BBH: wait what?

BBH: I don't understand :(

Dream: Anyways

Dream: We’re speedrunning George getting his license

Fundy: What does that even mean?

Dream: It means George is going to drive a car for the first time today

Dream: And you all are invited

You: My time has come

You: du du du du du du du du

Fundy: again

fundy: What does that even mean?

Gogy: woah woah woah

Gogy: I never agreed to an audience just driving around a parking lot

Gogy: and I’ve been behind the wheel before

Sapnap: Yeah once and then it started drizzling and you panicked and almost crashed the car and cried

Gogy: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!

Sapnap: Let’s just say drunk Gogy is a bit of an oversharer

Gogy: I hate drunk Gogy

You: drunk Gogy is entertaining

Sapnap: I prefer drunk Gogy

Karl: Yeah dude you were funny when you were drunk flirting with Punz

Dream: STOP

Dream: George is amazing whether he’s drunk or not

Gogy: thanks Dream :)

You: s*mp

Dream: but your giggles when you’re drunk are very cute

Gogy: I hate it here

-

Quackity was not going to miss seeing George losing his driving virginity. Much less if it was going to be Dream (who got pulled over once for driving 40 over the speed limit) teaching him. Partially, he was going to laugh and tease George for what was inevitably going to be a disaster, but they also desperately needed a responsible driver there. Quackity was the best driver out of the three of them + Sapnap who liked to purposefully piss off drivers who cut him off on the highway.

He arrived at the empty teacher’s parking lot where Dream had told them to meet to see Dream’s black Audi in the parking lot running. Stupid rich kid. He nearly jumped when the car pulled forward slightly, coming towards him before jerking to a stop, causing both George and Dream who were in the front seats to slam against the back of their seats. It was obvious to him that he would be more safe inside the car rather than outside watching in the parking lot. “Put the car in park and let me in!” he shouted to George, not trusting him to keep the car from running over his foot.

The Brit did so, and Quackity hurriedly got in the car. He sat in the middle and leaned forward so he was between the two of them. George had a white knuckled grip on the steering wheel while Dream looked amused if nothing else. “How long have you guys been out here?” he asked.

“Like twenty minutes and we’ve barely moved 2 feet,” Dream told him which made George scoff.

“I didn’t know the car moved on its own!” he claimed. “I thought the car stood still unless your foot is on the gas.”

“Okay okay. Put it back in drive and take your foot off the brake and gently press the gas,” he told him calmly. George followed his steps, and the car moved forward slowly. “Now a little harder, barely.” The car sped up a little more. “Now turn the wheel to the right a little and press the pedal a little harder.” The car turned and kept doing so until it almost made a full circle. “Okay now return it to straight and let your foot up off the gas a little bit.” They returned to a little bit more than a crawl.

“You’re a good teacher, Quackity,” George said, visibly more comfortable behind the wheel. Without instruction, he pressed slightly onto the gas and turning the wheel harder. The car began moving as George experimented with the pressure he was putting on the pedal and turning the steering wheel.

“SAPNAP!” Dream yelled suddenly which made George slam on the brakes and Quackity fly forward. His chest slammed against the console separating Dream and George, and he groaned.

“You asshole. You did that on purpose,” he said which made Dream begin cackling.

“I did not!” he claimed even though his laugh gave him away.

They had been so busy bickering, they hadn’t noticed Sapnap had approached the car.

“How much money would you give me if I ran him over?” George asked with his hand on the shift gear.

“WHAT?! NONE,” Quackity shouted at the same time Dream said, “at least $1000.”

“It’s worth,” George said, putting the car in drive. It took Sapnap a moment to notice the car was coming toward him and not stopping before his eyes widened and he turned around, running towards the edge of the parking lot.

“George stop the car!” Quackity ordered, feeling a bit hysterical as Dream’s loud wheezes filled the car. He was close to hitting him before Sapnap dove over the curb that enclosed the parking lot, and George ran into it. The car lurched forward as George slammed on the brake, and Quackity once again shot forward, his head hitting the dashboard.

“What the fuck,” he complained, rubbing his head. “I hate you two.” Both George and Dream were laughing like madmen with Dream a lanky green, wheezing puddle in his seat and George practically hyperventilating with his head against the steering wheel.

“What the fuck!” Sapnap yelled once he stood up. He looked pissed and rightfully so. Quackity saw the moment was too golden, and he seized his chance. He honked the car’s horn which made Sapnap jump like a startled cat and land on his ass in surprise which riled up the car’s inhabitants even more. “I hate you all so much,” he said as he got on his feet and into the car begrudgingly. “I can’t believe you just tried to kill me!”

“He wouldn’t have killed you, Sapnap,” Dream told him. “If there’s one thing George has learned, it’s how to brake.” George rolled his eyes. “Okay, think you’re ready to hit the road?”

George’s eyes widened a comical size. “What?! No way! I have like 30 minutes experience behind the wheel.”

Quackity was about to butt into the conversation, but his phone buzzed in his pocket.

New messages from Karl Jacobs

Karl: Hey Alex

Karl: Can we talk? Not that like dreadful talk or anything

Karl: We just haven’t talked since that night y’know?

Quackity knew he was jumping to conclusions, but he didn’t like where this was heading. They should and needed to talk about what they said to each other at the party, but there seemed to be something else Karl wanted to talk about. It didn’t leave a pleasant taste in Quackity's mouth.

“Texting Karl?” Sapnap asked curiously as if keeping himself from looking over Quackity’s shoulder to see what was being said.

“Yeah,” he said noticing the disappointment in his own voice. He typed out and said the same thing to Karl.

Sapnap looked as if he wanted to stay something, but he stopped himself.

Chapter Text

Gogy: You guys

Gogy: A spider just ran across the room and Dream fucking screamed and jumped like three feet in the air

Tommy: @Dream Dude ur at least like three times bigger than a spider just fucking step on it

BBH: language

Techno: I hate that technically you’re right

Tommy: HAHAHAHHA YES

Tommy: Suck it Dave

Techno: Never call me that again

Tommy: Ok

Dream: GEORGE

Dream: I TRUST YOU NOT TELL THE WHOLE GC THAT TYPE OF STUFF ABOUT ME

Gogy: Sorry Dream it was just too funny

You: DUDE UR FROM FLORIDA

You: HOW R U AFRAID OF SPIDERS??

Dream: THEY HAVE 8 LEGS WHO TF HAS 8 LEGS

Dream: that means they can kill you in 8 different ways at once

BBH:: o_o

Karl: what the honk dude there’s no way a little spider could kill you once

Fundy: unless you give it the world’s smallest chainsaw

BBH: o_o

Fundy: vroom vroom

Sapnap: What the fuck is honk

BBH: Language!!

Sapnap: what are you a goose

You: Aww that’s kinda cute

Sapnap: I mean yeah it’s not not cute

Sapnap: I just wasn’t expecting another BBH who swears off the swearing y’know

Karl: Eh I can swear

Karl: fuck fuck shit fuck ass fuck bitch bitch shit fuck bitch fuck ass shit bitch

Karl: see

BBH: WHAT IS THAT

BBH: LANGUAGE TIMES A THOUSAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Karl: I just prefer not to and use honk instead

Karl: i’ve found it’s much more universal as you can use it in almost situation to replace any curse word

Sam: makes sense

Now in a private chat with Karl Jacobs

You: Hey is now a good time to talk?

Karl: Yeah

Karl: Please don’t worry I still really like you

Karl: like that sort of like

Karl: I just know that you deserve the honest truth from me if we were be in a relationship (if you still want that ofc)

Karl: just hear me out

He hesitated, knowing he was dreading whatever Karl was going to say. How could he not? But he was also hopeful. If Karl still liked him like he claimed, then Quackity was sure he could figure it out because he really did like him.

You: okay

The typing bubble appeared next to Karl’s name and stayed for longer than Quackity would have liked. Even though he told him not to worry, Quackity couldn’t help but chew on his lower lip, trying to suppress any preliminary anxious thoughts. The large message appeared, almost taking up his whole screen.

Karl: Again, I still really like you, but I also sort of have feelings for someone else? Like I know it’s not fair to you or Sapnap to like you both at the same time, but I can’t help it! You’re both just so funny and attractive and you’re so sweet and caring it kills me sometimes while Sapnap just is so Sapnap one moment and then just a big teddy bear the next. I’ve really been thinking over and conflicting with myself lately, but you two are just such amazing friends I don’t want to lose either of you two. I just feel so guilty because I led you two on without you knowing about the other and I’m really sorry

He read it. Then read it again. He took a deep breath and began typing.

You: You don’t have to apologize Karl. We can’t control our feelings and you didn’t lead me on. The last thing in the world I’d want to do is lose you as a friend. I really appreciate you being honest with me and I won’t hold your feelings against you. I understand if you need time. I want you to make the right choice, whatever is best for you. We can figure it all out when we need to.

It sent. Quackity strangely felt both relieved and like the weight never lifted off his chest. It wasn’t near what he was expecting Karl to say, and it was far from the worst thing he could’ve said. A crush on Sapnap? Surprising, but not completely out of the blue. It wasn’t like Quackity hadn’t thought twice about his dopey smile he sometimes had when he was particularly lazy or tired. Even though he was about as Sapnap as they came, Quackity couldn’t help but see his appeal.

Karl: Thank you, Alex. You’re the best <3

He sighed. He was at a loss as to what to do now, so he did the first thing that came to mind. Annoy George.

Now in a private chat with Georgenotfound

You: Yo I’m coming over to your place

Gogy: When did I say you could??

You: You just did bitch

You: All I see is

You: [image attached. A screenshot of Geroge’s latest message with part of his message blacked out so it shows “Gogy: you could??”]

Gogy: I actually hate you

Gogy: Fine you can come over but Dream is here

You: *throwing up noise*

You: Holy fuck are you two really going to be that couple??

Gogy: You know it ;)

You: You aren’t having sex or anything are you

Gogy: NO

Gogy: DREAM IS TAKING A NAP RN

Gogy: AND WHY WOULD I ANSWER YOU IF WE WERE HAVING SEX???

You: idk you’re pretty weird sometimes Gogy

Gogy: Your invitation is being revoked

You: Noooooooooooo

You: pwease Gogy may I come over? :(

You: I need Gogy cuddles

Gogy: When have we ever cuddled before?

You: We haven’t bitch

You: Because you’re cold hearted

Gogy: Nah it’s because you’re smelly

You: At least I don’t have greasy ass hair

Gogy: At least I can convey my feelings without using a cuss word every other sentence

You: At least I can convey my feelings instead of letting them well up after years of liking the same person for years and never telling them

Gogy: You know I still haven’t given you your invitation to come over back

You: NOOOOOO

You: GOGY PWEASE

Gogy: Fine you can come over

Gogy: Just never use pwease again

Gogy: you’re not uwu

You: I hate you

Quackity knew that being a third wheel to Dreamnotfound was going to be capital P painful, but he didn’t feel right being alone. He was an extravert going through what he imagined a mid-life crisis felt like. He needed to be around his friends, even if it was just emotionally constipated George and his dingus of a leo boyfriend.

When Quackity arrived at George’s apartment, Dream was asleep on the couch. “Would you kill me if I put his hand in warm water?” he asked.

“Yeah! He’s on my couch,” George told him in a whisper yell.

Quackity hummed. “He seems like the dude who pee his pants while he sleeps.”

“Dude that’s so fucking gross. Come on,” he said, taking his hand and dragging him to the bedroom to let Dream sleep peacefully.

Once they entered the bedroom, Quackity was quick to flip on his full size bed while George closed the door so they wouldn’t disturb Dream’s nap. “So what’s up?” he asked knowingly.

“Nothing’s up. I just wanted to hang with my bro.”

“Mhmm,” he said, unconvinced. He walked around to the other side of the bed and laid down so they were both looking up at the ceiling. “I know you well enough that you never start your texts with ‘Yo’ unless you’re ready to break out into some soap opera dramatic monologue. What happened?”

Fuck George and his ability to know things.

“Karl and I talked,” he sighed.

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“He told me he also likes Sapnap.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

George paused. “What are you thinking about right now?”

“That he’s worth the wait. Even if he doesn’t choose me, I think there might be a part of me that’ll always hope he’ll say yes,” Quackity said. He didn’t have to think long about it because he didn’t allow himself to. His answer was the truth.

“Who said he has to choose between you two? You like Karl and I know Sapnap does too. If Karl likes you both, then maybe you and Sapnap should talk,” George suggested.

Quackity sat up and looked at George who turned so he was laying on his side. “Are you talking about a threesome?”

George rolled his eyes. “Polyamory is what I’m talking about. You and Sapnap have known each other almost as long as you and me have known each other. Do you think maybe you’ve been holding back on your own feelings?”

This time, he thought hard about what George was saying. He’s had… thoughts about Sapnap before, but he always told himself that they would never work out well together. Too much chaos for a couple. But there was something that had attracted him to the brunette when they first met. He was fun to hang out with and charming with a beautiful smile. His giggles Quackity often teased him for always made his heart flutter, and he could be really sweet when he wanted to be.

“You’re thinking too long for it to be a no,” George smirked. Quackity grabbed the pillow resting against the headboard and used it to whack George in the face.

Now in a private chat with Sapnap

You: Are you free?

Sapnap: Nah I cost at least $420

You: ha ha

You: I’m laughing so hard can’t you tell?

Sapnap: okay mr. touchy touchy

You: you’re lucky I’m 20

You: If I were a minor I’d sue you for that name usage

Sapnap: ok but seriously what’s up

You: Do you know where George lives?

Sapnap: God I wish I didn’t

Sapnap: Dream is over there like all of the time now

You: I know right they’re so gross now that they’ve gotten together

Sapnap: at least someone else noticed it

Sapnap: I thought I would go stir crazy thinking I was the only one who saw it

You: Dude

You: Like the whole campus is already sick of them

Sapnap: That’s true

Sapnap: They can clear out a whole room in the library with how sickly lovey dovey they are now

You: *throwing up noise*

Sapnap: hahaha

You: Anyways

You: Would you rather talk about this over text or irl?

Sapnap: um what are we talking about?

You: oh

You: yeah I didn’t tell you

You: I like Karl. And you

Sapnap: oh

Sapnap: we can talk over text

Sapnap: I can add Karl. He’ll probably want to be here for this if that’s cool with you

You: yeah sure

Sapnap has added Karl Jacobs to the chat

You: Hi Karl

You: idk what your feelings are towards me @Sapnap, but I’ve sort of come to realize that I like you… like that if you get my gist

You: I guess they were sort of suppressed because I was talking to George of all people when I realized. I think I’ve actually liked you for awhile now

You: And now I’m a little lost as to what to do

It was technically a lie since George told him what to do next, but he was too afraid to bring it up. Three way relationships, while not unheard of, weren’t exactly common. He didn’t know what the other two would think of the suggestion.

Sapnap: I’m so bad with feelings

Sapnap: What do I say?

You: Well that you don’t hate me now would be reassuring

Sapnap: Of course I don’t hate you Alex

Sapnap: I could never hate you

Sapnap: You’re like the best guy to be friends with. You’re insanely loyal and nice. You never fail to make people smile and you’re really talented. You’re one of the greatest people I know

Sapnap: Oh

You: Oh

Sapnap: I think that answers it

Karl: So what do we do now boys?

Sapnap: Talk?

You: yeah, let’s talk

You: I’m at George’s right now if you guys want to meet here and hang out?

You: I can send you the building and room number @KarlJacobs

Sapnap: ok

Karl: Sounds good

George was a bit shocked to find out what had happened, but he was quick to be accommodating, waking Dream and taking them into the bedroom so they would have some privacy.

Ten minutes later, Sapnap arrived with Karl behind only a few minutes later. Thank God because Quackity had no clue what to say to Sapnap. That didn’t make approaching the elephant in the room any easier. Although, maybe it wouldn’t be too bad.

“So what do we do now? Have a threesome?” he asked in true Sapnap fashion.

Quackity couldn’t help but burst into laughter and double over, holding his hace in his hands which muffled the sound. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he said while gasping for breath. Karl had an amused grin on his face.

“I honestly don’t know about you guys,” Sapnap said once the tone turned serious again. “But I have no clue what the fuck I’m doing, but I think we can figure it out.”

“Are we really going to do this?” Karl asked, a bit hesitant.

“I’m okay with it if you two are. We can only take one day at a time. But not matter what, we stay friends, okay? Bros before hoes,” Quackity told them, making intense eye contact with both of them.

“How does that work if you’re both the bro and the hoe?” Karl giggled.

“I think that’s a topic for the first date.” They really were about to make this plunge.

“Have you all figured out your shit, yet?” Dream shouted from the bedroom. Sapnap rolled his eyes as he was most used to handling Dream. He walked down the hall towards the bedroom. They heard him opening the door followed by his scream.

“THEY'RE CUDDLING!” he screamed, running out into the main living area and doubling over, pretending to throw up.

“YOU FUCKING SHIT YOURE GOING TO WAKE GEORGE!” Dream yelled back.

“How can George sleep through this?” Karl asked Quackity.

He snorted. “Trust me. George could literally sleep through a war.” He then shouted to Dream, “Wake his ass up! We’re all here so we might as well do something.”

“This place is tiny as fuck. Not even the couch could fit us.”

They somehow all fit on the couch with George squished between one end and Dream’s body with his legs hanging down in between the taller’s. Quackity was on the other side of Dream, his back leaned against Karl’s side who had Sapnap’s head in his lap. His legs were hanging off the other end of the couch. It was a bit weird and awkward to get to, but everyone was somehow comfortable.

“Anyone got a clue what we do?” Sapnap asked. Quackity rested his head against the back of the couch, and George yawned, cuddling close to Dream.

“No idea,” George said sleepily. “We could ask the groupchat?”

No one said anything else, so Quackity dug his phone out of his pocket and opened his chatting app.

You: hey guys

You: we have no clue what 2 do tonight any ideas?

Wilbur: Try watching Mamma Mia! while drunk. It’s always a good option.

“Wilbur suggested watching Mamma Mia! While drunk,” Quackity tells the group. Dream lets out a loud snort which sends Karl into a fit of giggles.

“I got Fireball and apple juice,” George informs them, showing he’s not opposed to the idea. Everyone pauses to think it over.

“I’ll get Mamma Mia!” Sapnap announced, getting up off of the couch and heading towards the cabinet George kept his DVDs.

“Me and Dream will make the drinks,” George said, taking Dream’s hand and hauling them up and into the kitchen. That left Quackity and Karl on the couch. He took advantage of the now emptiness of the couch and stretched his legs out.

“Can you believe all this happened in like a month?” Karl asked with a tone of wonder.

Quackity smiled at the thought of how much had changed. And for the better. “It’s crazy. I guess we probably have the groupchat to thank a lot for.”

“And the coffee cup I wrote my number on for you.”

“Mmhmm,” Quackity sighed. “A real Call Me Maybe move.”

“You know you loved it.”

“Sure.”

———

You: HEY GUYS WERE DRUNK

Karl: and we just finished Mamma Mia :))))

Techno: Dear lord

Sapnap: IF YOU CHABFE YOUR MIND

Sapnap: I’M THE FOSRT IN KINE

Dream: Sapnap stop typing your drunk

Ant: Is Dream not drunk?

You: HE’S PLASTERED

You: CAN U TELL HE USED THE WRONG YOUR

Bad: Oh my God you muffin heads are going to hurt yourselves

Gogy: No we’re not

Gogy: We have a responsible adult here named Joe

Bad: Who’s Joe?

Gogy: JOE MAMA

Gogy: GOTTEM

Sam: I’m-

Technoblade, Fundy, Awesamdude, Sapnap, Karl Jacobs, Antfrost, Tommyinnit, Dream, Badboyhalo, Skeppy, and Tubbo have left the chat

You: AWW I LIKED YOUR JOKE GOGY

Gogy: I hate it here

Wilbur: Well, it seems that the groupchat has come full circle. Congrats lads.

Wilbur Soot has left the chat