Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’d been a long day at work, a day that seemed to drag on forever that once you finally checked the clock a sigh of relief fell from your lips, almost surprised that this torture finally ended. So with no hesitation whatsoever you grabbed your short grey trench coat and slid it on over your white blouse, in addition, you took your black purse slinging it over your shoulder, and ran out of the room with work files hugged tightly to your chest.  The clicks of black heels tapping across the title floor as you left the building to your car, not noticing the strange looks directed your way from your other faceless co-workers. 

Yes, you were eager to leave, go relax. It was your weekend off, so why shouldn’t you enjoy it? Of course, everyone loves to rag on you, telling you that you don't do enough work, they even say you're too young to be working here. You try your best to ignore the rude comments because in actuality you did a shit ton of work. 

Recently you haven’t been able to take the proper break you required.

Work at the DEA had been constant and the amount of paperwork was ridiculous, you wished you were out on the field with the “big boys” that’s what your boss called them, but your boss insisted that’s not the type of work for a young lady like yourself, which struck a chord with you but you had let it go for now at least. 

You immediately made your way to your favorite diner, you felt like you deserved something greasy and unhealthy, Yeah that sounds about right. You haven’t had enough time to eat breakfast in the morning or dinner at night, you usually were eating a big lunch mid-day and that was about it. The work was so time-consuming at times you began to forget about your own needs.

Parking your car, you began looking in the mirror to fix your hair, But instead, you just let it loose and gave up, running a quick hand through it and ruffling it. You set your papers and files down beside you in the passenger seat before leaving your car and went to make your way inside. Everyone had to work late so you weren’t surprised when you saw the diner was already closed. Letting out a disappointed and defeated sigh you turned back to your car. Now your mind changed and you knew what could set your nerves at ease.

You needed a drink.

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As you entered the bar, a heavy scent of smoke wafted over to your nostrils. It was a familiar scent. There was nowhere you could go to escape the smell of smoke, but you didn’t mind it much. It has always been a part of your life since you were young. Your family did it, your friends did it. Hell, even you tried it once. It wasn’t so bad but you felt rather indifferent to the entire trend. Plus, it was harmful.

You draped your coat over the stool before taking a seat, folding your thigh that was clad in your favorite pair of pants over your other leg. They fit snug and were genuinely the only comfortable pair of work pants you owned.  So you tapped your nails against the counter, patiently waiting, racking your brain on what drink you would have tonight. You weren’t entirely new to drinking, yet still, you didn’t do it often. After all, you had just turned 24 now. You became a DEA agent at 21 surprisingly. It wasn’t a common thing to do, you had to be intelligent, top of your class, and somehow you had managed it. And since you were a hard-working, play by the rules kind of individual, drinking was never something you had been good at.

But here you were, eyeing all the different types of alcohol stacked neatly on the shelf that reached the ceiling. You pondered, wondering which brands and what types you would like. You had no extensive knowledge of drinking. But you settled on what the girls in shiny short fashionable dresses next to you ordered. 

“Could I please get one Long Island Iced tea please?” You mumbled softly to the bartender. He was cleaning a glass with a rag, he eyed you up with one cocked eyebrow.

“Hard day?” He gave a small sympathetic smile, setting the glass down behind the counter.

You gave a small nod. “A so-so kinda day I guess.” You gestured with your hand with a slump of the shoulders, the bartender just gave a nod before making your drink at the long side of the bar which you paid no attention to. You fiddled with your hands, not used to being in such a place. 

You had never visited a bar like this before. It was crowded with night-owls, the lights were dim with a purple hue, smoke filled the place and there were so much mingling and people standing with drinks in hand, most of the seats were filled. But the bar stools were a bit emptier, only crowded when someone tried hitting on someone else, it filled you with humor, seeing drunk men stumble over to young girls and then get rejected within seconds.

But soon your drink was served and you took it in both hands, your fingers cooling against the frigid glass, you tried to chalk up all the noise to static. To just a backing track as you hid in your own little world with your alcoholic drink, you took a few gulps, and god it was stronger than you expected. You covered your mouth with one hand. Trying to not cough everywhere. It would be unsanitary, plus embarrassing. So you stifled it and went to finish your drink in your own little bubble, but at times you could feel a stranger's eyes boring into you.

You would turn back and there he would be. A man, in his late twenties-early thirties. Eyes boring into you for a second before pulling away, a cigarette tucked in between his lips, a small drink in his hand, lounging in a booth by himself. He had warm bronze skin, dark hair, dark eyes. A mustache that framed his face nicely. He had a white dress shirt, though the sleeves were rolled up to the elbow and the tie that you presumed once had a place around the gentleman’s neck was removed. The two top buttons were undone. The slight top of his chest could be seen. And he looked in place like this was his type of scene. The way he tapped at the glass and pinched the bridge of his rather prominent nose. He seemed stressed, unhappy. Just like everyone else here, just like you. 

But you ignored the lingering stares, hoping to get out of here before he was beside you, dropping cheesy and poor drunken pickup lines. Men have done that before, sling an arm around you and lean in. Acting as if it was their right to behave awful. So you hoped it wouldn't happen by the end of the night. 

But as you finished your strong drink and set it back down on the rather sticky counter another drink was placed in front of you. It was another drink, a manhattan. And you eyed the red liquid suspiciously. Your tongue darting out to lick at your lips, the lingering taste of your previous drink covered your lips.

You looked up at the bartender. The look in his eyes had some humor to them. “Gentleman behind you-said it’s on him.” He waggled his brows and chuckled as he saw you scoff and push some of your hair back from your face. You watched him leave to the kitchen and you sat there reaching forward and accepting the offer, you felt you were being watched, and you were right because not one sip of the drink later a man was sitting beside you, a drink in his own hand, Whiskey, you could tell. He had a slight grin, but he wasn’t drunk, in fact, he kept his hands to himself, just his eyes were on you.

You decided to humor him a little. Maybe indulge in the conversation you could tell the man was hoping to engage in. So you would, after all, you were getting a free manhattan in the end.

“This was from you I suppose?” You raised an eyebrow upwards, a small smile playing on your lips as you watched him jerk his head in your direction. 

“Yes, it was. Do you like it?” He had a smile of his own as he took a drag from his cigarette and puffed out the smoke casually, his eyes on your face as he took another sip of his whiskey.

“I’ve had better.” You casually but confidently muttered before taking a sip of the drink that was gifted to you by this stranger. 

“You’re more of a long island iced tea girl then? You should stay away from those though, they are strong as shit, get you hammered fast.” He leaned his elbows forward on the sticky bar, a smirk framed his face under his mustache, a strand of his dark hair fell out of place, and yet he didn’t bother to fix it. He stayed like that, unbothered, his undivided attention on you.

“I’m not much of a drinker in the first place.” You shrugged as you set the manhattan down. You turned your body to face him, something you were always so used to doing when speaking to someone new, always an itch to be polite to people. Even if you would usually never meet them again. “Just a long day at work so...here I am.” Your hands folded on your lap as you gave him a soft smile, one that his brown eyes seemed to enjoy because they flickered down to your lips before coming back up to meet your eyes.

“You look familiar, we met before?” His voice rumbled deep and smooth as he took another drag, inhaling the smoke deeply, his chest full before puffing it out again, he raised an eyebrow, a ghost of a smile on his visage as he tapped his fingers along the counter, impatient.

Your head titled as you took in the appearance of the man, as if it wasn’t some cheap pick up line you’d heard a thousand times before. But still, a part of you felt he did seem familiar so once again, you wanted to humor him.

“Actually yeah, I think we might have. You have the type of  face I wouldn’t forget.” You batted your eyes flirtatiously of course you were doing it on purpose, you actually had no intention of going home with anyone tonight but you enjoyed seeing as he swallowed thickly, he seemed almost surprised that the pick-up line “worked”. Excitement welled up in his throat as he let out a small chuckle, his brown eyes diverting from you for a second.

“I’m Javi- Well Javier Pe ña. But I go by Javi.” He waved his hand dismissively, a certain charm stuck to him, almost effortlessly as he gave a full smile now, a deep dimple on one side of his face. Your eyes glued to it until it disappeared. You realized you had not spoken in a few seconds that dragged on so long that it was becoming more than the acceptable amount of time to process someone introducing themselves.

“And your name?” His head tilted back slightly, a nice view of his neck that was slightly covered in a thin layer of sweat, it was slightly reflective in the dim lights, you focused on his adam's apple for a minute as it bobbed up and down as his throat swallowed and that was all you could really keep your eyes on. Your tongue darting out to lick at your lip as you exhaled slowly.

You introduced yourself, first name then your last name, and you could see Javi hanging on to every word.

“I don't go by any nicknames if you’re wondering.” You moved a strand of hair behind your ear as you heard Javi repeat your name back to you, almost in awe as he nodded in approval.

“Beautiful name -for a beautiful woman. It’s fitting.” He lifted his glass to his lips casually. His dark eyes still on your face even as he drank. Taking a long sip before setting it back down.  He watched your face contort shyly at the compliment. You didn't get compliments like that often, so you couldn't help but turn your head down for a second before feeling your face heat up slightly. You cursed internally, Javi’s eyes still on you as you tried to calmly collect yourself.

“So-” He started as he licked at his lips. “What was so hard about your day, that you ended up drinking a long island iced tea, alone- huh?” He flashed a smile before inhaling some smoke once more. He ran a large hand accompanied by thick fingers through his hair, it became ruffled slightly, but it was a good look as his shoulders rolled back, clearly he was stressed but trying not to be in your presence.

“Work, I do tons of paperwork pretty much every day, for incompetent men. Men who don't appreciate the fact I do most of it by myself because I know if I leave...well, their sorry asses won’t know what the fuck to do, so they rely on me and yet degrade me any time I’m around.” You huffed, gripping your manhattan tightly and taking a long sip. You didn’t expect to let it all go like that to Javi, to this stranger, and you could tell by Javi’s raised eyebrows he didn’t expect that either. 

But a small, pleased smile worked its way on his face as he leaned back slightly. His finger rubbing against the side of the glass he was drinking from, blunt nails digging into the ridges of the glass mindlessly. “Where do you work?” 

You looked down into your drink, you could slightly see reflection frowning back at you, you exhaled. “At the DEA. But I never go out on the field, it’s...disappointing, especially since I worked so hard to get in and joined so young.” As you finished your sentence you heard him stifle a small chuckle. You whipped your head to the side, eyeing him curiously but dangerously. 

He lifted his hands in defense, that same coy smile playing on his lips. His eyebrows raised comically.  “I’m not laughing at you- I- I work there too. I mean- I’m out in the field most of the time. But I’m just in town for now.” He slowly lowered his hands back down as you relaxed. He even made for his badge, placing it casually on the table, you eyed it before pulling yours out too. Solidarity in between the two of you as you shared a quick smile. 

“Oh, so you’re one of the big boys huh?” You jeered playfully, though you still felt tense. “You’re taking down all those drug lords in Colombia right now right?” You questioned leaning in only slightly. You didn’t want to get close to the point where you gave off the wrong idea. 

But still, you could see Javi’s face go warm. “Big boys?” He asked with slight confusion but he still laughed at the comment, taking a drag from the cigarette and turning his head slightly as to not blow the smoke in your face. 

“Yeah, that’s what my boss calls you guys, he told me going out in the field is for the uh- big boys-” you stopped to gesture to him then continued. “Young ladies like me have no place  taking down drug empires, ya know.”  You shrugged, another sip of your drink. Your head was feeling slightly dizzy now, a sign that you should probably stop drinking the bitter liquid. 

So you pushed it away to the side before turning back to Javi.

“That- sorry but that’s fucking stupid.” He retorted, his features going from charming to serious within a few seconds. He seemed to care. He tapped at his cigarette, before taking another drag. 

You on the other hand laughed. It was a pitiful laugh- at least that how it felt, you felt pathetic, and now all you craved for was to just go home, your head was buzzing, you never did have a high tolerance.  “Thank you, Javi. For caring I guess.” You casually said with a shrug of the shoulders. 

“But- I should-. I should really go home now-” You made to stand up, but somehow your knees felt weak as if they’d give out from under you, but you steadied yourself against the counter as you stood. You could see the rising panic on Javis’s face, he really didn't want you to go, not yet at least. 

“Woah- you okay?” Javi reached out with no hesitation, a hand flying to your forearm. You noticed how large his hands were, rough, yes, but also warm and a feeling of comfort washed over you, but you pulled away nevertheless. 

“I’m fine, I'm okay. I'm just a little tipsy. Plus my tolerance is pretty bad but I guess you were right about the long island iced tea.” You gave a coy smile as you shrugged on your grey jacket. 

“It was nice meeting you Javi.” You gave him a nod. “But I plan on enjoying my day off tomorrow without a hangover.” You saw as his mouth opened- then closed, a couple of times actually as he tried to figure out what to say, to maybe make you stay.

But you were already walking away, you tried not to struggle as you walked in your heels. You most likely wouldn't be driving home, you were always one to follow rules. So you didn't want to be tipsy and to get pulled over. The chances were low of being pulled over but still, they were never zero.

So you made your way outside, fresh air filling your lungs. You ran a hand through your hair quickly as you decided you can walk. There was overnight parking at this bar, so you felt thankful as you opened your car and got your important belongings, and even changed your shoes for an extra pair of more comfortable shoes. 

And you made your way to your apartment on foot, it wasn't a long walk, thankfully you lived rather close to this bar, so maybe it would be fifteen minutes. Ten if you picked up your pace, but as you began to walk you heard the tap of shoes behind you. So you turned your head and an aggravated sigh left your lips. 

“You're not driving home?” Javi was standing there, a black suit jacket hugged his figure, his hands shoved in his pants pocket. He was next to your car, his foot tapping impatiently.

“Yeah, I’m walking. I’m not driving tipsy.” You shook your head. “It’s overnight parking. I can take the bus in the morning to get my car or I’ll take a taxi.” You had no emotion on your face as you turned back around and kept walking.

“Oh, c’mon. It’s not safe for you to be walking home this late you know. Especially in these parts.” Javi spoke with a boyish charm as he walked behind you.  He took long strides until he was beside you, his hands still in his pockets. 

“Are you following me?” You scoffed. Rolling your eyes. You couldn't tell if he meant any harm at this point, so you just walked faster, but Javi was persistent, plus his legs were longer than yours.

“No- well yes but not in a creepy way I hope.” He rubbed at his slightly stubbled jaw. “It's just- I do wanna know you, and plus you're a tipsy woman walking home at almost one in the morning. That's dangerous. I think you know that the least I could do is walk you home.” Javi offered, glancing at you as he dropped his cigarette to the ground. Stomping on it quickly before catching up with you again.

“And plus, I paid for all your drinks tonight-” He shrugged and you gave him a look, a bit panicked at first, you actually felt bad, leaving without paying and leaving Javi there to basically pay for that damned long island iced tea. Plus the Manhattan.  

So you sighed heavily. “I know what your intentions are -I’m not stupid.” You bit out, sounding more hostile than you wanted. And as you took another step forward you simply... tripped, actually tripped right after sounding like a dick. How embarrassing...

And your tipsy self didn’t even try to stop it as you saw the ground coming closer but you still let out a cry,  but the hard cement of the sidewalk didn’t come. Instead, you felt familiar, large warm hands around your waist and one around your arm. 

“Woah! You gotta relax, you’re getting yourself riled up for nothing y/n.” Javi let out a sigh, was he genuinely concerned? He shouldn’t be- he really shouldn’t, because he knew what his intentions were- he did want to take you home, push you down on his mattress and do wonderful things to your beautiful body and then of course... never see you again, he needed a distraction from his own job, and he was insanely attracted to you, so if he could just take you home then he could get over it, he could get over his attraction to you that seemed too intense. But Javi knew at this point he wasn’t going to get anything. So why was he still here, why did he follow you out and help you when you tripped just now?

He didn’t know the answer, but you just assume he’s still angling to get in your pants. So you pull away.

“You do realize we are coworkers right? Even if I never see you at work, it’s wrong.” You huffed, brushing the hair out of your face.

“Maybe you could thank me instead of telling me shit I already know if you didn’t realize I just caught you before you face planted on the cement.” He had an urgency in his voice, to prove he’s not that bad of a guy. His hands returned to his pant pockets respectfully. He turned his head away, keeping his eyes down.

You saw it- the way his pride was hurt, it was almost endearing in a way, how desperate Javi seemed. Your beauty overtook him, you didn't realize it, you didn't know the way he longed to just get your number, be able to call you on the lonely nights in Colombia, or just ring you up as a heads up that he was in town and if the two of you could get coffee or just to be able to visit you at the office now and then. 

But no, all you saw was just your co-worker, looking dejected. And you being the extremely polite young lady you were- it tugged at your soul just a tad bit, just enough that you felt obligated to put his confident smile back on his face. 

“Hey-” You started up, reaching to his shoulder softly, you squeezed the muscle lightly, to reassure you weren't disgusted by Javi in any way. 

“T-Thank you Javi.” You muttered softly, making to sure catch a glimpse of his face, ducking your head to get a good look at the man. And with those soft whispers of those three words his head shot up, a small sly smile playing on his lips. 

“What was that? I couldn't hear you-you mind repeating it again?” He leaned in close, jabbing at you playfully as the two of you bumped shoulders, stumbling through the night, warm chemistry forming, a giggle erupting from you as you covered your smile in an attempt to act as if you weren't enjoying the man's company.

“No seriously I couldn't hear you querida !  Say it again-just one more time-” He grinned at you, you rolled your eyes, your apartment building was in the distance, almost home thankfully.

“Fine! Fine!- I said thank you Javi- thanks for not being...a douchebag, thanks for catching my sorry ass.” You spoke with a coy grin, you felt your face warming up at the way his eyes softened as you continued. 

“Turns out I was more of a dick then you tonight, I dunno I just thought you were just being creepy. But you are right- it’s dangerous to walk home alone at night, especially as a woman while being half drunk. So yeah, Thank you very much, Javier Peña.”

 You still were a lovely shade of pink as you now stopped to face him, the two of you had finally made your way to your apartment. So now the two of you stood, Javi had a soft smile, even softer eyes as he let out an exhale.

“Your very welcome y/n,- this is your apartment?” He gestured toward the tall building. And you gave a slow nod. 

“Huh-” He eyed the tall grey building. “I wish you’d invite me in- but with my luck, I should probably go back to the motel.” He gave a stupid grin, obviously understanding the boundaries that stood between the two of you. He wanted to respect you, it was the least he could do as a decent human being.

“Yeah, your right- you are going back to the motel tonight. But-” You started off before reaching into your purse, you pulled out a pen and crossword puzzle book, after scribbling something in one of the corners of said crossword book you ripped the corner off, stuffing the pen and book back into your purse. 

“But you earned this.” You said with a giddy smile, your face heated up as the seconds ticked by of Javi standing there, hands in pockets staring at the piece of paper-awestruck before his right hand reached for it. 

“Your number?” Javi studied it, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards in a soft smirk. “Hope it's not fake…” He raised an eyebrow at you playfully which you scoffed at.

“It's not! I wouldn't do that, you seem nice, genuine. I like that, sooo- If you are ever in town again or taking a break from taking down Colombian drug lords, you should gimme a call.” You shrugged nonchalantly. 

“I’ll be in town for awhile actually…” Javi stuffed the scrap of paper into his jacket pocket. “I’ll call you this week...Maybe. We’ll see.” He spoke, only the slightest amount of uncertainty in his voice, he usually wasn’t the type to call girls back, especially if it was a normal encounter that didn’t involve sex, he hated getting attached, it was so easy for him to care way too much. But he nodded, and so you reached out for his shoulder again.

“Seriously though, co-workers…” you gestured in between the two of you. “Remember that Javi.” You playfully spoke before leaning in close, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. He would remember that... no doubt he would, he had to restrain himself from just holding onto your waist and pulling you in, but Javi kept his hands in his pockets, his face warm and all smiley as you pulled away. 

“Goodnight-be safe!” You waved as you quickly ascended up the stairs pulling your keys as he stood there, awestruck once more.

He cleared his throat, it felt all tight like it did in high school when girls would talk to him, it was strange. He hadn't felt that in a while. 

“G-Goodnight y/n. See you around.” He lifted a hand, waving slightly before you smiled, and opened the door, slinking into the apartment building, a small glimpse of Javis’s hand dropping and running through his hair, and then here you were again, tipsy and alone again.

So you made your way to the elevator, yawning as you thought of how the next few days would play out if you would get a call or if you would be left with no closure, but so far all you really were sure of was that tomorrow morning you would have a wonderfully bittersweet hangover.

Chapter Text

The weeks had passed by slowly, you were patient though, holding out every day. And what were you holding out for? Well, for Javi to call you. You didn’t necessarily have any romantic interest in the man but, you did enjoy his company that Saturday night. And maybe...just maybe because of course your mind couldn't help wonder, but maybe he would end up being dating material and you would see something in him, because yes he was attractive, in an odd sort of way...considering he usually wasn’t your type. Yet as he kept creeping back into your mind...the thought of him grew on you.  

You were disappointed when it reached the third week with still no call from Javi. 

By then you had decided he was blowing you off at this point because of course, all he wanted was to get in your pants then ditch you afterward. You couldn't help but be offended the entire day, it threw you off your game, you made at least five mistakes on your work today, all because of some douchebag guy. Work was horrid, every single thing seemed to annoy the hell out of you, and you just kept dozing off or staring intently at the clock, watching as minutes ticked by. 

Soon the end of the day came once again and you exhaled deeply, running your hands across your face, fatigue setting in your body.  You felt like you were suffocating in your blouse, you undid the first button then moved on to slowly setting your files back in their cabinets and taking the extra work and setting it in your black purse, you cleaned up your desk from scattered notes and folders and pens. You usually were never this messy or disheveled but here you were...messy and disheveled. You moved a couple of stray hairs behind your ear as you made for your coat. 

You ran a hand against your dark skirt- trying to flatten the wrinkles before you began to make your way to the hallway, walking briskly as you always did, the clack of your heels drowned out by the sound of the other bustling agents and phones going off, more footsteps other than your own. It was a busy day. It made you more anxious and all you wanted to do was to just get the hell out of there. 

So you picked up your pace, keeping your posture straight, head held high. Finally making it to the front desk, it was a bit busy there too, a few agents talking to the receptionist. You just rolled your eyes as you passed them, they were all men, and the receptionist, Alejandra seemed overwhelmed by them. 

“ Alejandra, que pases una buena noche!” You waved a hand at her, and she waved back with a tight-lipped smile, before also bidding you goodnight using your name-you knew a bit of Spanish, and Alejandra mostly spoke Spanish. So you made it an effort to be able to understand her and for her to understand you. It was a nice little thing the two of you did, So at the end of the day, you would always tell her goodnight, you knew she appreciated it, you gave her a small smile before turning back around making your way to the exit. ---

And right as you were a few steps away from the exit a strong tan-colored arm cut you off from the door. You looked up at whoever this jackass was, you weren’t really in the mood to be messed with today considering the whole Javi incident, plus being one of the few female DEA agents it was granted that men didn’t respect you or the other girls in the office. 

“Hey!-” You began, your eyes trailing up the body in front of you, you didn’t expect to see a familiar face...you didn’t expect it to be Javi standing there, mussed brown thick hair, a wide smirk, neck sweaty, light blue polo shirt unbuttoned at least three buttons down, he was towering over you, looking down at your smaller frame with half-lidded eyes hidden behind wide yellow-tinted sunglasses, your own eyes involuntarily took the sight in, awe washing over you as you felt your face growing hot, but that didn’t stop you from furrowing your eyebrows and frowning, plus crossing your arms, it almost felt childish. 

“Leave me alone.” The words immediately came from within you and out into the world with no hesitation, you then stubbornly pulled your eyes away from him and took a step back from Javi- a twang of something in between hopefulness and anger struck you, and honestly, your emotions were mixed, you couldn't help but wonder why he was here. 

“Oh, cmon- just hear me out-” His husky voice rumbled as he stepped closer, he was frowning now, obviously disappointed by your reaction. Javi did put his hand down and away from the door, now resting his hands on his hips.

“No-Why should I anyway? The situation is really simple Javi- you said you would call and you didn’t...for three weeks!” You scoffed, showing no mercy. 

You tried to keep your voice down, but your tone was still stubborn. And now you could feel the eyes from the bystanders, it just got you even more disgruntled, you knew your cheeks were probably tinged with pink, now the embarrassment was setting in, so you huffed and pushed the door open, stepping outside, and of course, Javier followed.

You stood there, crossed arms over your chest as you took in the air you were in so desperate need of at the moment, thankfully the soft breeze began cooling down your face. 

Javi took place next to you, he crossed his arms as well, there was a silent moment in between the two of you. He inhaled deeply, trying to form the right words. You expected his response to be confident, probably playful in some way, Javi practically oozed with confidence so you weren't surprised by his response.

 “You were counting?” Javi nudged your arm with his elbow gently, he bent his knees slightly so he could be a bit more level with you. Ducking his head trying to catch your eye with his brown orbs that crinkled at the corners. He tried not to smirk, but he couldn't help it- it spread warmly over his face. His mustache following the movement, a soft dimple coming to the surface of his tanned cheek. 

“So what if I was? It was obvious you weren’t... it’s just shitty of you to do that. You seemed nice...and then you don't call? I don't get it. I really don't Javi. I mean…” You trailed off for a moment, trying to put the feelings into words as you sighed.

 “You weren’t obligated to do anything, I just had a nice time walking home and thought we could get to genuinely know each other better. If you changed your mind...fine. But you could have still called and said you changed your mind or maybe make up some shitty excuse and that would have been fine.” You tried to calm your upset tone more as you took a few breaths, ignoring his eyes and looking off into the parking lot instead. You cursed at yourself, you sounded so desperate for his company, which you weren’t. You would've been fine without him, but it just nagged at you, the thought of not being interesting enough. 

Javi stepped back, seeing as you needed the space. He exhaled deeply, the smirk faltering slightly. “Listen..., I lied when I said I’d be in town for awhile y/n.” He huffed softly. Pursing his lips before reaching in his pant pocket pulling out a lighter and a cigarette. 

“I just needed a filler sentence, ya know... keep the conversation alive, mu ñeca. For as long as I could-you were about to go home and I just wanted to extend our amount of time together. It's that simple. But I was only gonna be there that night...I’m not going to lie, I did want- you know... company .” He physically squirmed as the words left his lips. 

 “But obviously, that didn’t happen. And that’s-that’s fine! I was still planning on calling and explaining...but I was in Colombia and things were... very complicated.” He tucked the cigarette between his lips, cupping the lighter as it clicked and lit the tip. Smoke puffing out heavily before he took a drag. Chest puffing out before he exhaled.

“Okay? And?” You turned to him, raising your eyebrows. Your brain somehow couldn't form an opinion on his excuse just yet. 

He sighed heavily, rubbing at his stubbled jaw with the palm of his hand in thought. “Let me make it up to you… let’s just- have coffee.” He shrugged, adding a boyish smirk-turning on the charm, now his body facing yours as well. You gave him a skeptical look though, which made him chuckle.

“Seriously...plus It’s on me.” He raised one dark eyebrow at you, head ducking down slightly, looking down at you with those brown puppy dog eyes that he gave the first night you met. And the first night you met, well those puppy dog eyes worked on you, but now you weren't so sure. 

“But why? Javier-I don’t get why you're doing this. There honestly isn't any point-It's not like you’re getting anything out of it. It’s just coffee..” You huffed, you finally had calmed down enough to look directly into his eyes, not feeling as warm-faced as before. 

“I do get something out of it, I get to know you. I mean, I want to get to know you.  And besides, you were right, it was shitty of me to do that to you. Honestly, y/n-I think you are worth it, even if this is just a friendly outing-it can be anything you want it to be. I’ll still enjoy myself. So c'mon-please let me make it up to you...as a -a co-worker.” He gave a soft smile, his hands going to his pockets. 

You took a moment to think. But it was hard to think about anything remotely sensible or reasonable with him staring at you like that, so you simply muttered out: “Yeah?”

He grinned wickedly at you, the sides of his mouths curling upward, he took another step closer, you could smell his aftershave, a mixture of mint and a kind of cedarwood smell, of course also a strong mix of nicotine but still-you grinned at him, tilting your head back to meet his gaze. You hoped the two of you were not drawing any unwanted attention. But he nodded his head, his eyes drawing you in as he spoke-his deep voice rumbling. “Yeah.” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The cafe was familiar to you. In the morning you would come to get your coffee here. Even if it wasn’t necessarily good-you still wanted to support the small cafe, it didn’t get a lot of business so it was the least you could do to help out, after all, the woman that owned the place was kind to you, always sneaking you free baked goods, talking to you on slow, lonely mornings. So it was delightful either way. 

“God, this coffee is shit.” Javi set the cup down in front of him, he licked at his lips, lapping up the droplets of coffee from his lips left from the sip he had taken. Though he had a smile on his face as he set down his sunglasses, tucking them neatly at the crook of his shirt, tilting his head back slightly. 

“Well, what coffee are you usually used to drinking then?” You uttered quickly before bringing your cup to your lips, it was watery, tasteless, and pitch black, truly terrible. 

“Cafe Bustelo. Best Latino coffee, you really should try it instead of... whatever this is.” He gave a snarky smirk, crossing his arms. But you couldn't help but laugh at the comment, a small chuckle left your lips. 

“Well, I come here for a reason Javi. I gotta support the local cafes.” You gave a small shrug watching as he rolled his eyes and lifted his cup, it had whipped cream at the top, you didn’t take him for the type to order such a drink but you watched him closely. Awaiting the snarky comment you could feel coming.

He took a longer sip this time, his dark eyelashes fluttering slightly as if he was trying to taste it, trying to figure out why it was so bad. Then he set the cup down, there was whipped cream at the corner of his mouth, a bit of his mustache and upper lip. He licked at the stray cream, other than the little part on the corner of his lips, and you smiled at it as he continued to speak.

“Jesus, even the fuckin whipped cream is watery, bland. Not even sweet.” He scoffed once more, and you were chuckling softly once again. Your face pleasantly warmed by his reactions. You didn’t feel offended whatsoever, you just thought it was hilarious. 

“You were the one who offered to go out for coffee Javi. You shouldn’t complain.” You gave him a small wink, one that he took to heart because then he was smirking and scooting his chair in closer. 

“So- let’s get to know each other huh? That’s what we’re here for right?” He grinned. Lifting the coffee cup to his lips once more, making a face as he swallowed. 

You brushed your hair out of your face. Staring into your cup, he was closer now and you didn’t necessarily know how to feel about it. But you smiled, trying to act somewhat confident, and now lifted your eyes once more.

“Ok...ever been married?” You smirked, raising your eyebrow, and were pleasantly surprised when Javi barked out a laugh. His shoulders shaking as he chuckled at the comment. He shook his head, coming down from his laughing fit.

“No! No-I’m not one to settle down easily. Work is always on my mind. Taking down all these fucking cartels, all the drug lords. It’s hard enough always having your life on the line. I don't need someone worrying about me constantly. I don’t need my beeper going off every second...relationships are stressful.” He paused though, his serious expression lighting as he grinned, a warm smirk spreading under his mustache, his eyebrows raising as he continued.
“Sex though? Heh, that’s easy. Plus no feelings, no harm.” Javi smoothly replied, his voice going husky as he took another pained sip at his coffee.

You were a little struck by his response.  You were surprised at what a douche he was, plus kinda an asshole. But there was something more to him, that you wanted to figure out. So you sat up a little straighter and smiled. 

“Wow...you are one cocky little man.” You pointed a finger at him, your small smile growing as you saw his eyebrows shoot up, in curiosity maybe? Or maybe he was just taken aback, probably wasn’t used to being called out on his bullshit like this.

“Cocky? No fuckin way, I’m charming as hell.” He ran a large hand through his messy hair, just messing it up further but it suited him. You just shook your head, taking a slow sip of your coffee. 

“No Javi, you aren’t as smooth as you think, you used a pickup line that I’ve heard millions of times before, plus you insisted on walking me home, that can be seen as creepy more than sweet.” You scoffed, you saw his expression change in a matter of seconds from pained to annoyed. And he blinked a couple of times before his smirk came back.

“If it wasn’t charming then why are you here with me now? Having a really bad cup of coffee and having fun casual banter huh?” He leaned against the table and you crossed your legs, but you couldn't help but stiffen once your knees brushed against each other. It was so soft and barely something memorable and yet it got you squirming in your seat just a tiny bit.

“Oh shut up- I’m just here for more free drinks.” You gave him a playful wink, he snorted in return. His smile was warm as he took another sip of the coffee. Licking his upper lip before finding another topic to speak about.

“So y/n, you know Spanish? I heard you talking to the receptionist.” He explained, his evil grin washing away into a comfy relaxed expression as he moved his knee forward, pressing it against yours, but he didn’t pay it any mind, you did of course, maybe too much mind. You almost drew your leg back, but his eyes caught yours and you couldn't look away or move away, it would be too obvious you were being affected by his charm, as much as you insisted he was just overconfident. 

“Yeah, I know a little bit. Un poquito.” You mumbled as you watched Javi’s face light up. He seemed to enjoy it. He grinned as he pulled out a cigarette, momentarily stopping to light it and take a drag before his eyes were on you again. “Me gusta cómo tu suenan ... diganme algo más.” His voice went a bit lower, he was testing you,  seeing how much you knew- and it was a little tough to understand Javi’s words but you could make out what he was saying.

You bit at your lip teasing it between your teeth.  You were slightly shy, not too confident in your pronunciation of certain words, but some odd part of you wanted to prove to Javi, that you could do this. Even if you felt embarrassed...

So you thought for a minute before speaking up, trying to be just as confident as Javi. “Creo que mi gusta estar cerca de ti. Estás entretenido.” You gave him a small smile, feeling warmth rising to your cheeks, you blinked waiting for his reaction- he rolled his shoulders back, nodding slowly. 

“It’s actually ‘me gusta’ not ‘mi’ but...otherwise...good job.” He grinned at you, tucking the cigarette back in his mouth, he pressed his knee against yours even further, Javi was pushing it now. But instead of backing down, you ran your leg upwards, your calf up to his shin, and you saw him visibly freeze, eyes going only a tiny bit wide before his arm jerked forward, reaching for his coffee cup only to knock it over with his elbow, and of course, it spilled all over you, all over your white blouse.  Watery coffee and watery whipped cream in all its disgusting glory rushed over the table. Spilling on you. 

It didn’t burn you thankfully, but it was shocking, so you stood up, gasping as your shirt immediately went see-through to your stomach and breasts. Javi was up as well, his eyes wide and expression panicked, he was mumbling out curses in English and Spanish. Rambling as he picked up the cup, his hands covered in the sticky liquid. 

“Oh shit! Are you fuckin kidding me-puta mierda!” You could see his cheeks going red, the always so charming Javi spilling a drink on his co-worker who already had a grudge against him, It was just too comedic to the point where you couldn't help but laugh as he scrambled for napkins, trying to avert his eyes from your chest. But of course, he caught a glimpse and his eyes were back down again.

“Oh, shit Im-I’m drenched in coffee.” You raised your dripping arms in defeat. Thank god you were done with work for the day so no other co-workers could see you in your now see-through blouse and also drenched skirt, plus a perfectly nice pair of stockings that were now ruined.  But still, you chuckled, grabbing napkins from Javi as the woman from the counter came over, asking if everything was under control, which got Javi rasping that you were soaked but would be fine and how sorry he was about the floor. 

The two of you ended up leaving a nice tip considering Javi ordered a large coffee so the spill was much bigger than it should’ve been, you waddled out the door, Javi lent you a jacket to cover yourself, you kept chuckling while he was in embarrassing silence. 

“Oh come on Javi! Lighten up! I just have to go home and change.” You turned to him, standing out on the street, trying to catch his attention.

“I feel bad. So no, I'm not lighting up.” He furrowed his brows. “I ruined your clothes...that shit ty coffee is gonna stain.” He frowned in displeasure turning his head downwards. 

“It's fine -oh my gosh! Javi relax.” You put a sticky hand to his shoulder squeezing softly, which resulted in his head lifting, he winced slightly, he still felt bad.

So you smiled and thought for a moment. “What are you doing tonight?” You asked off the cuff. You saw Javi raise an eyebrow, curious as to where the sudden change in the topic came from. But he pursed his lips in thought, “Well, I was gonna go to the bar, get shit-faced, flirt with women and see whoever goes home with me...then catch my flight back to Colombia.” He deadpanned and you exhaled, hanging your head slightly, chuckling softly. 

“How about instead of that, you can come over, we can continue our little coffee date at my place with coffee that's actually good and instead of getting super drunk, I’ll drive you back to the motel and see you whenever you come back from being a badass huh?” You raised your eyebrows, hoping to be enticing.

“You had me at coffee date muñeca.” Javi smiled softly, he still wasn’t exactly happy with himself over spilling his coffee all over you but you were glad you got him cheered up a bit. Even if the two of you were still acquaintances you cared for Javi, It seemed like he had a bit of a hard time with life, for all you knew he was going to a bar every night having countless one-night stands with women. And you didn't think it necessarily helped with Javi’s level of happiness so you thought maybe coffee and a nice chat would be better. At least more beneficial.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Immediately you rushed to your bedroom door and went to your room. You couldn't wait to throw off the dirty clothing that clung to your skin uncomfortably, you were getting undressed as Javi was wandering around the small apartment. Picking things up, flipping through various books and scattered papers, seeing what it's like being you.

“Javi! I'm gonna take a quick shower! Start the coffee if you want!” You called from your room, stripping off the clothes and chucking them in the dirty hamper before reaching for your towel and heading to the bathroom.

“Ok, I guess I’ll just uh..figure this shit out!” He called back before you were in the shower, washing the stickiness off with warm water and lavender soap. It was a nice moment for you, you almost forgot Javi was just wandering around your home. So as nice as the shower was you finally hopped out, rushed back to your room to change into a loose-fitting white t-shirt and some pajama shorts-before strutting out, hair still wet as you dried it up with a towel. You made your way into the living room.

Javi turned his dark eyes towards you, he went to speak it seemed but he couldn't get anything out. A sudden smirk wide as his brown eyes drank in the sight of you, you could feel his eyes boring into you and you couldn't necessarily pinpoint why. 

But he didn't speak, he just served the coffee and took a seat on the couch. Still, that same smile on his face as he watched you take a seat across him, folding your legs as you cradled the cup. Damp hair framing your face as you took a sip. And then he took a sip, though still, it was silent. So finally you groaned and rolled your eyes.

“What is wrong with you? Why are you being weird?” You scoffed, crossing your legs.

“Nothing. You look comfy.” He said gleefully. That stupid smile still unmoving as he took another sip, his eyes took you in silently and he crossed his legs until finally taking a deep breath. “What size shirt is that?” He muttered, eyeing the oversized cloth that you wore. 

You squinted at him, he was acting funny. You couldn't necessarily place what was on his mind, Javi was expressive in his face, so it was easy to get what he felt about most things, but he was just staring at you blankly. 

But you shrugged, taking a sip of your coffee. “It's probably a medium in mens. I dunno, I found it at some thrift store back in high school.” You shrugged, shivering slightly, you had to pay your bills soon, the heating hasn't been on in a week…

Javi smirked at you, he leaned his head back, chuckling dryly as he eyed you once more.. “huh..That’s my size. You would look good in one of my t-shirts, no?” and with that Javi dropped a wink. 

You were taken aback immediately, drawing your legs up further on the chair and to your chest, after you realized what he said all you could do was groan in annoyance. But you couldn't help but blush, you had to hold back from smiling coyly too. It was a nice thought though, especially since you haven't kept anyone “company” in so long. Almost immediately though you couldn't help but imagine it, Javi laying you down on your bed, Javis wonderful bronzed body hovering over you, your hand running up his chest, making its way to his nape, playing with the little tufts of dark hair that started at the base of his skull. And him, leaning down to press warm kisses along your neck, Javis strong arms cradling you as his body rocked into your own roughly yet carefully. But you snapped out of it once you heard him speak again, your face was hot as your eyes wandered over to Javi once more.  

Javi was still chuckling lightly, a wonderful smile plastered on his face as he bit his lip before speaking. “You know, this question has been floating around in my mind for a bit, so if I may ask…” He paused, shifting in his seat. 

“Why did you become a DEA agent?” He suddenly questioned, he still had a warm expression on his face as he asked. Your eyes flickered to his hands, Javi held the cup with both hands. Fingers flexing around it, his palms wrapped around fully, you realized just how big his hands were- soon he was tapping his fingers against the blue coffee cup, waiting for an answer. 

You looked back up at an impatient Javi. It wasn't a hard question, you've been asked millions of times before. And so you gave your answer, an answer you also gave each time someone asked. “I’ve always been interested in the law, always wanted to get inside, know how it works, plus the world needs people who can take down idiots like the ones in Colombia.” You shrugged. But Javi’s smile faltered a bit, he set his coffee down.

“You don't take anyone down,” Javier stated, very matter of fact. He didn't seem like he was trying to insult, he was just trying to tell the truth. And as much as you hated admitting it, Javi was right, you didn't do anything to catch the bad guys. You didn't do much to put them away. 

“I-I do…just not, directly. I still work.” You shrugged, furrowing your eyebrows, You slowly realized to yourself how right Javi was, everything was paperwork and sending documents to those in need of it. You could've moved up in the DEA a long time ago. You passed all the entry tests, even the physical ones, all the simulators of being kidnapped and confiscating drugs, you passed them all with flying colors. So how come you weren't out in the field doing what Javi does?

“I pulled your file, you have potential y/n. A fuck ton.” He raised the cup to his lips, sipping slowly, keeping his eyes on you. He swallowed and set the cup back on his lap. 

You frowned slightly, it was a compliment technically, it should’ve encouraged you, finally having someone recognize that you should be over in Colombia taking down the cartels.  But it just made you feel worse, you ran your fingers through your hair, scoffing, your head falling back a little as you set your mug on the table and stood. Making your way to the fridge. 

“What are you doing?” Javi was up behind you, his voice rumbled deep, his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the kitchen counter, standing to the side as he watched you rummage through your fridge. 

“Could you shut up please ?” You huffed, strands of your hair falling in your eyes. You just needed a distraction. And you knew you had some bottles of whiskey in the back of your fridge. A friend had gifted you some for your birthday, but of course, you never opened them. Partly because you never tasted whiskey and didn’t want to open it, hate it, then waste it, and also when you did drink, you hated doing it alone.

“That’s rude,” Javi mumbled from behind you, crossing his arms as he watched as you laughed in delight, pulling a rather large bottle of whiskey out. The auburn liquid swished around in the bottle as you turned to face him. A small smile crept upon your face as you shook the bottle, raising your eyebrows at the man, who narrowed his eyes down at you. 

“Ok, I’m gonna ask again and I pray to God you’ll answer instead of telling me to shut up. What are you doing?” Javi ran a hand through his messy hair as you got up from your kneeling position and set the bottle down beside him on the counter. You went to the cabinets, reaching up to grab some glasses.

“Now that you’ve brought my worst fear to my attention I would love to stop thinking about it for tonight and instead I would love to have a proper drink and rant how I should be out in the field.” You set down two glasses beside the bottle and began twisting the cap open.

“Y/n…you don't even like drinking,” Javi mumbled as he went beside you, watching as you poured whiskey into one of the cups, you looked back up to him with a frown. “I’m not usually one to turn down drinks honey... but maybe we should just talk about it instead…” Javi muttered, keeping dark eyes on you as you moved to pour the liquid into another cup. 

“Javi, please don't make me drink alone.” You tilted your head, you felt so stupid and unaccomplished, yes you were still young but hell, you knew you would never move up in the DEA. You would never be able to go out into the field like Javi. And it sucked, as Javi said, you had the potential to do so much more, you just didn’t want to feel so bad right now. 

As you waited for a reaction, you teased at your lip with your teeth, impatiently hoping Javi would say yes. And thank god a slow smile spread across his face and he let out a dry chuckle. 

“Ay, muñeca...fine, only because you said please though.” 

------------------------------------------------------------

For once you were glad to be hearing Javi talk. It was interesting to hear about Javi’s work stories, bar fights, the Colombia heat. Even if it made you yearn deeper to be out in the field, but you drowned out the feeling, taking burning gulps of whiskey as Javi pleaded for you to slow down. 

“Listen all I gotta say is- Whiskey is shit. I’m sad. and I just want to sleep.” You slurred out pushing your shoulder against his, the two of you were seated on the loveseat, you were close to him, your legs curled up to your chest as you drank and leaned on him as your mind got foggier and your movements more sluggish, but he drank slowly, savoring the taste, stopping to tell more stories that you enjoyed hearing.

Javi rumbled out a peal of deep laughter, snorting only slightly. “Wow, you have a terrible tolerance,” He mocked playfully. Taking a short sip of his whiskey, you downed the first two like shots, you were on your third now, drinking slowly this time around, Javi was on his second. 

“So what? I’m still conscious, soooo that’s a good thing right?” You lifted the glass to your lips once more, but suddenly the glass was being pulled away from you, then fully out of your hands by Javi, you barely could move without feeling like you wanted to vomit so all you could do was whine out in displeasure.

“Hey! I was drinking that dumbass.” You glared as he set the glass down and his own beside it. He leaned back, turning to you and resting his head on his hand. Javi looked at you fondly, yet you barely noticed, he could tell and just gave a kind smile. Inhaling deeply. 

“Listen Hermosa, I have a flight to catch, I have to wake up at 5 AM. I’m assuming you also have work, so you’re gonna have a major fuckin headache, so it’s best to stop drinking now and get to bed.” He sighed as he gave you a warm pat on the head, it hurt a bit, you already were feeling sick, but you leaned into it, feeling Javi’s thumb rub against your head for barely a moment before he was pulling that large hand off of you and back to his own respective space. 

“Okay...yeah-” You mumbled. You blinked, shifting yourself to a normal sitting position. You could barely think straight. All you wanted to do was throw up and sleep. But a sudden question popped into your mind as Javi went to stand.

“Hey, why were you in town today?” You mumbled, looking up at him as he grabbed the glasses and went to your open kitchen, pouring yours into the sink and downing his own, as Javi swallowed he set the glass down on the counter. Then turned his head, his eyes flickering up and down over your curled up body on the couch, taking in the sight of your drunk self, it seemed to humor him because he suddenly grinned.

“I had to drop off some documents, evidence and have a word with some important people...also I hoped I would run into you, thank god I did, cause then I would have been so fuckin disappointed.” He chuckled, wiping his thumb across the corner of his lip, wiping at a droplet of whiskey you found yourself wishing you could have wiped away yourself as you watched with a suddenly a rather hungry pair of eyes. 

“Mmm, yeah...because I’m so special.” You flipped your hair jokingly, pretending to be all self-confident and full of yourself, you felt warmth spread throughout your chest once it earned you a laugh from Javi. But soon silence fell across the two of you and Javi was grabbing his leather jacket from the loveseat. Shrugging it on as you watched, curling into yourself more.

“You still have my number right?” You looked up at him with big doe eyes. You rested your cheek against your hand. You were fighting to keep your eyes open. 

“Yes, of fucking course.” Javi looked down at you. Only looking away to quickly check his watch. All he could think about was how he’d miss you and how hard it’d be to catch a taxi to get him back to the motel. But the taxi didn’t matter much to him because all he cared about right now was your well-being. 

“Please call me when you get the chance. Just so you don't drive yourself crazy out there kay’?” You smiled at him. Reaching out your free hand for his. He reached up thankfully. Allowing you to grab his hand and squeeze, you noticed how little your hand was compared to Javis, it was endearing as you let go, and Javi was nodding. 

“I will. I swear this time I won't forget, or pussy out.” Javi chuckled, exhaling then following up with a light yawn. “It late, almost twelve...I’ll be going now but uh, keep working hard Hermosa, fucking yell at your boss to put you out there if you need to, I just...wanna see you happy. Get some sleep, throw up if you need to and when I get a chance I will call you. Have a goodnight.” Javi mumbled huskily, he leaned down, giving a one-armed hug, you reached up doing the same, pressing a quick kiss to the cheek as he followed, his body heat was wonderful, you took in his scent, whiskey on his breath-then Javi was pulling away and you were cold again, watching as he turned off your lights, only your lamp was on and he was opening your door and turning around to give one last smile and then he was out of your apartment, and here you sat. 

And all you could think of as you got up to lock your door and stalk to your room was how alone you were, how unaccomplished you were. You sighed, a dull ache washing over your body as you laid in your bed. “Well y/n, here you are...alone again.” You slurred out as you spoke to yourself, slowly sleep took over your body and you closed your eyes, dreaming of Javi, praying to see him soon, for you were slowly warming up to him...you remembered his words as you fell asleep, they were on replay in your head. 

‘ I just...wanna see you happy.’

Chapter Text

Javi was right, you woke up with a killer hangover the next morning. It was funny that this was your first thought in the morning. Javier telling you about a hangover with kind eyes and a warm tone. 

And for some odd reason, you fully expected him to be there when you rolled over in bed because you swore you smelled the nicotine from his cigarette lingering on near. But when you sat up and blinked the sleepiness away, there was no sign of your co-worker. But of course not. Why would you think he stayed? 

So you got up, shrugging off your disappointment. Pulling your hair back and away from your face and immediately checking the phone for any missed calls. And to your surprise, someone left a voicemail. You recognized the number, smiling without even thinking. 

You itched to listen to it, so that’s exactly what you decided to do, bringing the phone up to your ear and twirling the wire around your finger as the audio began to play. 

“Hola peque ña- I just got back to the motel. I thought you’d be awake by now, guess that whiskey took a toll on you huh? Well, I promised I’d call so...I’m calling- but uh just let me know how you’re doing. I probably won’t pick up because there’s been a pretty big break in the Escobar case. So I’ll be busy. But don't let that stop you from leaving a voicemail. I don't uh- know when I’ll be free, let’s hope it’s soon but...I guess I’ll be hearing from you soon peque ña. Well, that’s all I got, sorry I’m rushing- have a good day, work hard. Bye.” 

You felt warm as you sat there listening to the voicemail, his voice was husky, he seemed tired and it made you feel a pang of guilt. You did make him stay pretty late, making him tell you story after story. Stories you could barely remember now but you assumed they were good. And as you sat there you couldn't help but replay it, taking in every small detail. The new little nickname ‘Pequeña’- you knew what it meant, it wasn’t necessarily special and you didn’t know where the nickname came from or why Javi just randomly greeted you that way but it made you smile. You were never fond of nicknames so this was...nice. But of course, you couldn't help but analyze the message more. He said there was a break in the case. It made your chest tighten up for a moment, you filled up with worry. It was dangerous- obviously and Javi had been an agent out on the field for some time. He knew what he was doing but still...he was sorta a friend. Even if you spent only a bit of time with him. You feel he deserved that status. 

You went over the call just one more time. And after you decided you’d leave a voicemail. He did say he’d be busy but you still went ahead and left a voicemail. You didn’t really know what to say and you only had a limited amount of time to do so but you just decided to speak off the cuff. You dialed his number- not expecting him to pick up, and you were right, it went to voicemail and you only were a bit disappointed.

“Uh-Hey Javi. I just woke up, heard your voicemail and so obviously I’m responding. Uh, I have a pretty bad hangover so you were right about that.” You stopped to chuckle lightly, you felt the after-effects still but you continued.  “Um, so there’s been a break in the Escobar case? Mind telling me about it when you get the chance, as you know I’m a sucker for a good story- anyway I hope you are having a good day at work.” You paused for a moment. 

‘Work? Oh shit...I have work today’  It suddenly occurred to you and you checked your watch. It was past 9- you were late. 

“Oh my god- I have - I have to go! Shit- I’m super late to work! Uh, I’ll talk to you later Javi, bye!” You hung up the phone quickly and panicked to get ready and leave to work. 

                                                                                       *******

You wore plain black dress pants and a normal white dress-up as well, they were the only clean work clothes you had that were easy to get on. Your hair wasn’t that bad so you were able to leave it down today and try to smooth it over as best as you could. So you got to work, disheveled as ever, files in hand, badge hanging around your neck, you sped walked to your desk, hoping your boss didn’t come out from his office to yell at you or scold you, but of course, he did. 

“Agent (y/l/n)? Come into my office-” He called for you and you winced, tensing up and setting your files down. Sighing heavily you turned and headed toward the office, knocking and opening the door. He was standing leaning against his desk, eyebrows furrowed deeply. Arms crossed. 

“Good morning sir, I’m..so sorry I was late today- I had a...long night.” You weren’t necessarily lying. It’s not like you were working hard on work or anything like that. You were just getting drunk and sleeping in late. But you wouldn’t expand on it. 

“I didn’t call you in here because you were late, even if it’s a slight annoyance.” His tone was low and he wasn’t looking at you. Something was up, and now you were curious.

“Listen....what I’m about to tell you It...hasn’t been publicized yet, we don't want the media getting involved just yet but-” He sighed, narrowing his eyes towards you. “There’s been a huge break in the Escobar case, we need to send more agents to Colombia, they found out where he’s hiding and it’s going to be a standoff, he has a lot of men so we gotta overpower them. They are calling in all the backup they can get.” He stood fully now, putting his hands to his hips. 

“What uh...What does this mean?” You could feel your heart racing. Was this your chance? Were you going to finally go out into the field, over to Colombia with Javi and the team, and be of use? You couldn’t believe it. This could be your moment. You had to fight to keep a straight face as you waited for his response. 

“Well, you’re not gonna like it but you’ve been chosen to assign the agents and teams that get to go over to Colombia for backup. And yes kid, you are staying here. So don't even ask.” He reached onto the desk handing you huge files full of papers and information. 

Saying your heart broke wouldn’t cover the feeling you got when he told you what this meant. Your hopes shattered. And yes maybe that was a tad bit too dramatic but that’s the only way you could describe it as you went back to your desk to start assigning teams. Sure, you could put up a fight but your boss has been putting it rather plainly after you had asked to go out in the field for the hundredth time. You could recall his exact words. 

‘There is no use for women on the field.  Young ladies like you, well they are weaker than men, so you’d all just get killed out there.’

God, did that piss you the hell off- Constantly getting pushed to the side even when you were more qualified than a lot of the other agents. Of course, you still had a lot to learn, and you were fine with that. But you had to be given a chance. It wasn’t fair...but what could you do about it? It seemed like there were no options for you at this point. 

So you opened up the file. Sighing, looking through the hundreds of pages before you. You let your mind wander as you began to assign agents. Until your mind inevitably wandered to Javi and what he told you last night. 

‘I pulled your file, you have potential. A fuck ton.’ 

‘Yell at your boss to put you out there if you need to.’ 

You shivered to yourself. Wondering if you could do something like that, strut into his office, and demand you get to be one of the team leaders. It was a terrifying thought, but so enticing. It was something so out of character for you, you always obeyed those who were higher than you. Never a rule-breaker, you were always too scared, because well a part of you always assumed you could get somewhere in life if you listened to all the rules, but, at this point, it didn’t seem like a choice anymore.

 You had two decisions. You get up and ask your boss one last time or you sit there, wasting the rest of your career on paperwork. It was on a whim as you decided to get up...standing and making your way toward his office. You couldn't help but be nervous as you approached his door, deciding not to knock and just making your way in.

“You done with assigning?” He grumbled, he didn’t bother to look up from his paperwork that was most likely much more exciting than yours. 

“Let me be one of the team leaders. Send me down to Colombia.” A stern tone came out along with the words as you bravely let them out.  It felt great, talking like this because now you weren’t necessarily asking anymore, at this point you were demanding. 

“Excuse me?”

“I want to be put on this case, out in the field. I’m not taking no for an answer this time. I deserve this.  I have worked my ass off for three years, doing everything I was asked with no complaint. But we both know that I am more qualified than some of the male agents you want me to send into Colombia. And if you don't believe me go ahead and take a look at my file. I passed all my exams, even the physical ones, with flying colors. I don't deserve to just be shoved aside, it’s exhausting to work so fuckin hard and get nowhere-”

 You hesitated, your language was rather colorful and you knew your boss would be pissed off when he got the chance to speak. But in the end who would miss you if you got fired? 

“Put me in the field.” You set down the multiple files he gave you for your assignment. “I’m not doing this if I can’t be the team leader.” You furrowed your brows, biting the inside of your cheek. As tough as you might look internally you were shaking in your boots, especially once he began standing up to look down at you, he narrowed his eyes, his jaw clenching visibly. 

“Go. home.” was all he said. You genuinely expected him to say something more. Have a follow-up...but no. He just stared at you with high intensity. Waiting for you to get out of his office. 

                                                                                 ******

“Hey, Javi- so uh...I’m back home. I was literally only at work for an hour. My boss sent me home after I...I kinda got angry and possibly demanded he sent me out in the field today to be a team leader for one group since you guys are needing backup right now, my boss told me all about it. I’m proud of you- hopefully, you get him. But uh for now I don't know if I’m gonna lose my job, but I mean, it’s not like he asked my for my badge, I think it’s because he knows I’m right...I don't know- I’m just really exhausted so I’m probably just going to take a nap. Be safe, talk to you soon.” You ended the call with a heavy sigh. Setting the phone down and inhaling deeply. 

Your apartment was dimly lit. It made your mood even worse, you groaned, kicking off your heels and making your way to the open kitchen, and, and you were immediately met with the bottle of whiskey from last night. Still left out on the kitchen counter. You didn't hesitate to go for it, it was lukewarm now. And yet you still poured yourself a glass and went to your bedroom. 

It was the same as last night, it didn't get any better as your throat swallowed the burning liquid. You coughed after swallowing most of the time. You thought of how Javi would have laughed at you most likely. Teasing you and your low tolerance to alcohol.  

Soon you were done with your drink. Your belly felt full and warm. Your head a little buzzed up. So you just set the glass down on your bedside table, still dressed in work clothes as you snuggled into your blankets. All you wanted was the sweet relief of sleep. Just to forget about your problems for just one minute and relax. So once you felt yourself lulling off to sleep you didn’t fight it…

                                                                                   ******

His hands were steady on your bare hips. His thumbs drawing circles as he held you there.  He was on his knees in front of you, his head resting against your thighs. He looked up at you, brown eyes full of lust. You leaned down, holding his face pressing a wet kiss to his open mouth. His tongue hot and wet as it teased against your lip. He groaned into you, pulling away suddenly and pushing you down, raising your legs over his shoulders. 

“I need to taste you-” His voice was low as he leaned down to kiss and nip at your thighs, admiring the soft skin there. You couldn't help but groan and finally look down at him to see him moving between your legs. It was heavenly when you finally caught a glimpse of Javi with his tongue displayed against your inner thighs. His eyes fluttering shut as he continued to venture down your thighs with his mouth. 

He hummed against your burning skin. Without warning moving to your core and immediately lapping up the wetness that formed there. You shivered, your back arching and hands flailing to his head, your fingers tangling in his messy hair. It wasn’t long before you were begging and your legs were shaking as he sucked against your clit, his fingers working his way to your entrance. Javis’s fingers were thick and long,  you always loved how big his hands were. 

Javi’s fingers were perfect inside of you. Curling and thrusting as his mouth continuously kept sucking and licking. He would stop every so often to press a wet slick kiss against your thigh, and you would get a glimpse of him looking up at you, his chin wet with your juices. Until he went back down. You were so close, your body shaking, keeping your eyes on him, your back arching, the familiar heat in your lower stomach growing hotter and hotter until finally-

Your eyes shot open, your body tense and stiff, your toes curled. Everything was so hot, you were even sweating. And yet as you sat up you shivered, scrubbing at your eyes. It took you a moment to realize what you had just awoken from. It was shocking in a way, you never really had...a wet dream? If you could call it that, hell you were kinda clueless. 

But you moved to stand anyway, the heat between your legs was surprising. Your face heated up more just by the feeling. It was all so...embarrassing, even if you were alone in your apartment. But you tried to shake the feeling, turning your attention to the windows, surprised to see it was pitch black, so you turned to your alarm clock, the bright red numbers shone through the darkness, you blinked as you began to read aloud. 

“3:50 AM? Shit…” You groaned with a weak voice. You scrubbed your face again, disappointed you slept your entire day away and now you would most likely not be able to sleep for the rest of the night, and you also had work tomorrow. Well maybe, you still weren’t sure if you lost your job because of your behavior earlier. 

But you tried to push it to the back of your mind. Pretending it was fine because really, that’s all you could do. You sat back down on your bed, running a hand over the top of your head, sitting there for probably ten minutes when suddenly a ringing noise broke through the silence. It was your phone. 

Sadly it was in your living room so you got up, turning on your bedroom lamp with a slight struggle until you made your way out of your bedroom to your destination. Turning on the lights and seeing your purse sitting lonely on the coffee table. Another beeping coming from within your purse- it was your pager.  You rummaged through your bag, finally getting a hold of it and pulling it out seeing a message. It read:

‘Please be awake, I got shitty news-Javi
4:00 AM 12/2/93’’

Immediately you rushed for the phone. Picking it up and putting it up to your ear.

“Hello?” You frantically answered. You didn't even check the number to make sure it was Javi. Nevertheless, you waited for a response. 

“Hey. Did I wake you?” The voice was a bit muffled but you recognized it almost immediately. You couldn't help but smile for a second, glad to hear Javier's voice, but he sounded so exhausted. 

“Oh, no, no- I was already awake. I took a long nap, woke up a few minutes ago.” You sighed, wondering what was the big news he needed to share.

“Okay, good. I would have felt like an asshole if I woke you. Uhm...How are you? You good?” Javi suddenly questioned, he sounded choked up, then a few seconds passed and it sounded like he was blowing air. It registered in your mind he was most likely having a smoke. 

“Yeah, I'm...I’m fine. You probably heard my messages, yeah?” 

“I did. I'm sorry that happened. Your boss is a dick.” 

“It's- ok. I should've just stayed in my place. But I’ll talk to my boss tomorrow. But enough about me I really wanna know what you need to tell me. You sound exhausted… what’s up?” You changed your tone, to a comforting, caring one. Something to let Javi know how much you deeply care about whatever situation he had found himself in. 

He sighed heavily. The image of him, sitting in his hotel, alone on the couch with a cigarette glowing in the dark found its way into your mind. You wished you were there with him, beside him. But the thought was interrupted once Javi began to speak. 

“The Escobar case is over.” Javi’s voice was tight over the phone. 

“Ok…? Isn’t that a good thing?” You muttered, raising your eyebrow as you crossed your arms over your chest.

There was a moment of dead silence, no inhaling of a cigarette, no sighing or shuffling over the line. It went so quiet you swore you got disconnected until he finally responded. “....Have you even looked at the fuckin news?” He sounded a little offended, maybe even frustrated and hurt, so without skipping a beat you turned on your television. The channel was always on the news. You always were keen on keeping up with events in the world around you.

And that's when you saw it. The headline...it was....shocking. 

“He’s dead?” You mumbled. 

“Yes.”

“You weren't supposed to kill him...how did he die?” You kept your tone low, but you couldn’t lie, a small part of you-well no that was a lie-a a big part of you was upset. There was going to be no trial, no jail time, no real suffering for that scumbag of a man. 

“Someone shot him. No one has a fuckin clue who did it, but after I spent the entire day just going to a ton of press conferences, answering questions that I didn’t have the answers to. I was so fuckin pissed off and stressed out...Of course, I still have work to do here but, this shit has taken so long and this piece of shit-he isn’t getting what he deserves.” You heard Javi pause over the phone to take a long drag of his cigarette and exhale slowly. 

You were a bit speechless, you wanted to be able to comfort Javi in any way possible, but your words weren’t enough for a man like that. A man like Javi was the type to need something more physical, to see you there holding his gaze, to squeeze his shoulder, to be able to be there...that would be enough for the two of you. 

“Do you at least get a break soon? I uhm...I really am missing you, even if it's just been one day but if you get a break soon maybe you can come over again? Drink some wine this time instead of whiskey?” You smiled, chuckling softly as warmth rushed to your face. You were shy enough so you couldn't place where you got the sudden bravery to ask: “Like a date maybe?”  

Anxiety immediately came afterward as you stood there waiting for a response but instead of Javi responding flirty as you had hoped you instead heard shifting of...something over the phone. It sounded like cloth, blankets maybe. You heard Javi shushing and then a slight sleepy-sounding muttering of a woman. 

“J-Javi?” You furrowed your brows, confused as ever.

“Yeah yeah, sorry- I just-Daniela-”

“ ¿Qué hora es, Papi?” A female voice that was muffled sensually spoke over the phone, and it finally made sense. And God did it make your stomach tighten in something close to jealousy, but immediately you reminded yourself you had no reason to be upset. You bit your lip, inhaling sharply. 

“Oh...Oh, you’re busy-” You crossed your arms, your tone stern but it faltered before you could even finish your sentence, and you ended up sounding bitter and shaky.

“No, (y/n) I’m-” 

“No it’s fine I get it, just call me later-”

“Shit I’m sorry, I just, it's been a hard day.”

“Ok, yeah...uh it's fine, seriously Javi...I get it. Just don't- don’t call me if you have company over next time...um, bye.” 

“Pequena-I’m so sorry, fuck I’m such a douche... Jesus-” 

“Javi- ¿el dinero?”  The unknown female voice muttered over the phone and then more shuffling of items, she seemed to try and whisper but was doing a shitty job at it, but just by that comment alone, you felt a hundred times worse. You really missed Javi today, but now you didn’t know what to feel, it was obvious he didn't miss you as much then. All you knew is that you wanted to hang up the phone more than anything right now, you felt embarrassed and just- so jealous. 

So that's what you did, you just hung up the phone quickly without either of you saying goodbye and left it there...because especially after that comment, about the money...it just made you wonder what in the hell Javi was up to in Colombia. You hoped it wasn’t what you expected it to be…

It almost made you sad thinking about how lonely Javi must be to be paying women for company…

You couldn't even mentally keep thinking about it, it made you feel sick, upset somehow jealous but mostly just sick. So you did all you could think of at the moment, and you poured yourself a drink. 

Whiskey because it was all you had in the apartment. But you poured it in a nice glass and took a seat in front of the TV watching the news that you had left on. And of course, there he was. Javier Peña at a conference earlier in the day, speaking about the death of Escobar. 

It felt like you couldn't get Javi out of your head, you were really stuck on him, you kept watching the television. Watching Javi, who looked miserable, and exhausted. Hell, he was even drenched in sweat as he spoke. A cigarette in his hand, taking a quick drag then going back to speaking. 

Your chest tightened and you turned it off. You couldn't stand it. 

As much as you didn't want to, you still missed him and still felt bad for him and still wanted to hug him and reassure him. You wanted him next to you on the couch, smoking, and drinking. Teasing you and calling you ‘Pequena’ with a warm smile. The smell of nicotine filling your apartment just like those few days ago. 

But he wasn't there, but you still could smell the nicotine. It was faint and you may have possibly been imagining it. Just as a way to cope. Maybe just because the sun started rising and you were exhausted from the very long day you had just endured, but all you knew is that you needed to let it go. Just leave it be and stop caring so much about a man you barely know. 

So you downed your drink and went back to your bedroom. Turning off the light and passing out once more.