Chapter Text
Tendo Akane lay awake in her bed, for how long now she’s wasn’t sure.
‘We were so close, and yet…’
She could still hear the wailing sobs of her father at the failure of the wedding… and Kasumi locking up the sake for a week in Nabiki’s safe. Genma almost immediately started to violently protest the lockup but going against Kasumi continues to the solo undoable taboo in this household, so the death glares from his wife among others were enough to silence him.
“With the repairs that the house and dojo will be needing, I think it would be best if everyone was at their best this week so we can all pull together to fix things.” Kasumi had said with her trademark innocent smile. Many in the household could not help but wonder if this was also Kasumi’s way of punishing the pair, but that couldn’t be the case. When did Kasumi ever mind the destruction whirlwind that was life in Nerima?
Still, the fatherly pair tried to drink their sorrows at the local bar, but Nabiki had confiscated all their money stating that the “funds” will be needed for repairs. Everyone had seemingly forgotten that it was Nabiki’s fault that word got out about the wedding. So instead everyone had to hear the arguing, the crying, and the blame game between the parents, Ranma, and Akane. The only reason the house wasn’t levelled was that everyone was too tired at this point to fight physically, so instead, words got more heated than usually would. When the threats of seppuku from Nodoka were some of the tamer things said, it was clear that intervention was needed so Kasumi asked that everyone head to bed and made everyone swear that they’d help out with repairs the next day. It’s likely that’s the only reason Ranma didn’t skip town that night.
Akane wanted to be angry but at this point, she was too tired to be so anymore, but still, she couldn’t sleep.
‘Is this what my life is at this point, some black comedy for the gods to laugh at? Stupid Ranma, can’t believe he couldn’t say “I love you”. That jerk! But neither could I...’
Akane let out a sigh. She couldn’t even be mad at Ranma right now.
‘Is anything ever going to change or are things just going to get crazier as more fiances and demigods show up?’
With that terrifying thought, Akane shivers in her bed and decides it would be best to try and sleep again.
- Four Months Later -
Water is one of the most fascinating things in the world despite being so common. The elixir of life, the shaper of our world, and the only substance known to naturally exist as a liquid, solid, and gas. It changes everything, yet can be still and eternal as stone. Yet even a river that has roared for thousands of years will break new ground and may become something. We see one of its many forms blanketing the northern region of Japan. The endless individual flakes bury the mountains and forests as they have for centuries. It is a reassuring sight almost for those unsettled by the ever-evolving cities. People are not so different, shifting from warm rejuvenating springs to freezing ice based on the climate of their circumstances. A spark with no lighter ignited the tip of a cigarette as its holder sucked in its toxins. The individual seemed to be enjoying contemplating the aforementioned ideas of water every now and then, especially in these rare moments of being home like now. A tied-up sack started to wiggle atop the gear sitting on an old motorcycle the individual leans against. They let out a breath of smoke before acknowledging the wiggler.
"Settle down back there, we'll get going in a minute. Geez, can't enjoy a moment's peace with you around." They suck in one last time and memorize the sight again as they breathe out. They flicked the cigarette away and loaded themselves onto their vehicle.
"Alright you ratty bastard, let's get you home." They roared the engine to life and strapped on a pair of old flight goggles. "Nerima, eh? This should be entertaining."
“Achoo!” sneezed one Saotome Ranma sitting on the porch of the Tendo household.
Nerima was by now considered one of the oddest places in Japan. Right up there with the Juban District and its magical girls or the Okayama prefecture and its UFO sightings. Nerima was number one in Japan for construction projects, usually to repair or rebuild what was lost, and was also rated worst in the nation for mental health support. This coincidence has never been put together, however. The primary cause in government documentation for the need for construction has a label different from the common Earthquake or even Kaiju Attack, instead labelled under a vague term only known as the “Nerima Wrecking Crew”. Ranma Saotome is the most commonly named individual in such documentation. Despite the destruction and the criminal activities of the Nerima Wrecking Crew, the government has decided that the effort to stop the destruction was not worth it when more deadly and concerning happenings such as the aforementioned monster attacks and alien invasions occurred elsewhere in Japan. Especially when it has been pointed out rather enthusiastically by one city council member Soun Tendo that the reconstruction projects have boosted the economy of the area after tourism for UFO sightings died down a decade ago. Tourism to see the legendary battles of Nerima has also been growing as well. What this means for one Ranma Saotome however, is that rather than things calming down by police invention or whatnot, an increase in martial arts challenges and other shenanigans has been steadily rising.
“Ranma dear, don’t get sick. I have two matches set up for this afternoon and another three for tomorrow.” Nabiki said sitting at the dinner table counting the winnings from that morning’s match.
“Geez, thanks Nabiki for the concern.” Ranma snarled.
“Ah, that’s not the right word Ranma dear.”
“Ugh, thanks boss for the concern,” Ranma grumbled.
“That’s better dear,” She said, finishing her count and moving towards the TV to relax.
Ranma continued to grumble loudly. With the increase in tourism for martial arts and the bizarre, a certain talented information broker and bookie jumped on the opportunity for profits, enlisting Nerima’s number one troublemaker for help through “polite persuasion”. The dojo needed funds for repairs after all and Ranma, like his father, had unintentionally put himself in a lot of debt.
‘At least this is better than the nudes and modelling she’s had me do.’ thought Ranma, sighing.
“Ranma, are you being weird with Nabiki again!?!” the youngest sister shouted from upstairs.
Sadly only the profits for the household have improved, not its relationships.
“Why on Earth would I flirt with that money-grubbing devil?” Ranma yelled.
“Because you're an idiot who flirts with every girl by accident!” yelled back Akane now having made her way down the stairs.
“And add 5,000 yen to your debt Saotome,” noted Nabiki.
“And why’s that Nabiki?” asked Ranma.
“Recall the boss insult fee in the contract?” reminded Nabiki.
“Gah!”
Indeed, the added money to the Tendo household had almost worsened relations between people, especially fights occurring more frequently, and stress was increasing for almost everyone.
“Akane, are you ready for your lessons?” asked Kasumi from the kitchen.
“Yes, Kasumi!” replied happily Akane.
‘Right today’s kitchen lessons’ Ranma thought as he shivered. With Kasumi leaving next year for school, it was decided, or rather as the only willing candidate, that Akane would start taking lessons from Kasumi on housework, including to the dread of the house’s inhabitants, cooking.
‘Please gods, send something, anything, I don’t care if it’s another fiancée or some forgotten rival, I can’t eat another dish of Akane’s!’ Ranma silently prayed .
Fortunately, or unfortunately, the gods were listening as the door was knocked upon.
“Coming,” yelled Kasumi.
Opening the door, Kasumi was greeted by a short individual wearing a well-loved light brown flat cap, a beaten brown bomber jacket, and a red worn tie. They had neck-length shaggy auburn hair, and soft facial features which contrasted the smell of cigarettes and the overall tired energy they gave off. Kasumi noted despite their masculine attire, they clearly had a large chest and had hints of worn makeup. She seemed older than Kasumi but was still young.
“Yo, is this the Tendo residence?” She asked her hands in her pockets.
“Why yes, how can I help you? If you’re here for a challenge, I’ve been told to inform you that you must call ahead or write a challenge letter,” Kasumi informed the stranger.
The stranger fanned her hand, “Nah, I’m not here for a challenge, I have a parcel of sorts to drop off and some other matters to discuss with the masters here.”
“Oh alright, may I have your name?”
“Ah where are my manners, I’m Ryu Anko,” Anko said, removing her sunglasses, revealing large brown eyes. She tipped her hat to Kasumi ”Nice to meet ya!”
“And I am Tendo Kasumi. Please come in,” said Kasumi returning with a bow.
“Let me just get the item,” Anko turned around and stepped over to an old Honda travel motorbike parked by and picked up what appeared to be a covered birdcage and a bruised briefcase. Anko followed Kasumi inside.
“Father, Uncle Saotome, we have a guest who would like to see you,” announced Kasumi.
“Oh bring them in dear,” Soun said looking away from the go-board for a brief moment which his old friend capitalized on gladly. Anko walked into the living room at this moment and set down her items before taking her hat off and bowing to the household.
“Hello, I’m Ryu Anko,” she said putting her hat back on.
“I don’t believe we have met, how can we help you?” said the senior Tendo. Both Ranma and the two younger sisters finally took note of the new guest. Said guest took in the household, finishing on Ranma who she smirked at.
‘What’s this about?’ thought Ranma.
“Another fiance I’m assuming? Kasumi I told you, you need to give them the form before allowing more fiances in,” said Nabiki.
“Great, more hussies,” grumbled Akane.
“Hey! It’s not like I go around asking for more or something!” yelled Ranma.
“Yo, I can assure you I ain’t a fiance of anyone,” Anko chuckled.
“Not yet anyway,” snarked Nabiki.
“Then what is it that we can do for you Ryu-san?” asked Soun again.
“Best to show you this first I guess,” Anko said, grabbing the covered birdcage and putting it onto the tabletop. Everyone else in the household moved closer to see what it is. Anko uncovered the cage and to both everyone’s surprise and disappointment, inside was battered and beaten Happosai covered in bandages.
“Master!” yelled both senior Tendo and Saotome.
“The hell happened to the old freak?” asked Ranma.
“I encountered the ‘old freak’ in Hokkaido trying to steal my undergarments while I was bathing in a hot spring. So I beat him and since he didn’t seem the type the police could hold, I decided I best bring him home which he said was here,” informed Anko. Everyone in the household stared at the guest hearing that they “beat” Happosai.
“Come on, wake up you rat bastard,” Anko said snapping her fingers. The small mummy stirred awake and upon seeing Anko staring him down, jumped to the other side of his cage.
“Ah, the demon!” screamed Happosai. If the other household members weren’t nervous before, they were now.
"Demon,” Anko mumbled, pulling out a notebook and writing in it, “That’s forty-six…”
Only Nabiki noticed her mumbling however.
“Master, what happened to you?” asked the senior Tendo.
“Ah, my students!” The freak returned to life, “Get me out of this damn cage!”
“Settle down you rat bastard, I’ll open it up if you stop shaking the whole thing,” noted Anko, opening the small front which Happosai slowly, if theoretically impossible, squeezed himself out of.
“Master, was it true that you were beaten by this girl?” asked Genma.
“Beaten? Me? This girl merely tricked me is all. Caught me off guard with her womanly charms,” explained Happosai who currently pouting on the table.
“Sounds about right, even I’ve beaten the old freak with the same stuff,” said Ranma.
“Oh sure, that’s how I beat him the first time when he caught me off guard, but the second time, well, not even you Happosai can deny that I won that and the prize fair and square,” Anko smirked, “Being underestimated isn’t my fault afterall.”
The others now looked to Happosai.
“Master, what did you lose?” asked Tendo.
“You better have not promised my hand in marriage or something old freak!” yelled Ranma.
“Please Ranma, I like to think I have more honour than at least your father,” Happosai said sitting himself down. Genma’s face frowned but he made no rebuttal.
“So what did you bet?” asked Nabiki.
“I betted… I betted my title as Grandmaster of Anything Goes school.”
Silence engulfed the room. Anko opened her suitcase, grabbing a sheet of paper before closing the case again.
“Yup, so technically I’m now all your master,” Anko said chuckling as she showed off her certificate as Grandmaster.
“Master, how could you bet something like that?” asked Soun.
“I didn’t think she had a chance, and she offered… ah a night of pleasure with her.” Happosai daydreamed with a perverted grin.
“Gross,” said Nabiki.
“How could you bet your own body like that?” Akane accused Anko.
“Eh, I never lose, so I wasn’t worried and I wanted something big from him so I had bet big,” she replied.
“While I don’t like the idea of fighting a girl, this means that all I have to do is beat you instead of the old letch, works for me!” Ranma said cracking his knuckles.
“For the school’s honour boy you beat this girl!” shouted his father.
“Sure, I’ll give you a shot to beat me and get the title. However…”
“However 'what'?”
“However, you need to bet something. After all, it isn’t fair if I have something to lose while you don’t,” she said fluttering her eyes at him.
“While what do you want?”
Nabiki looked at the newcomer and began to worry.
‘And the idiot is getting set up, again…’ Nabiki thought.
“How about this? On your martial arts’ honour, you will owe me a favour.”
‘Basically, she can ask for whatever when she wants,” some part of Nabiki to worry. ‘I rather not have house sold off again’
Ranma paused and thought about it for a minute before saying,
“That’s it?”
Everyone else in the household fell flat on their face.
“Yup, I can’t imagine a young guy like you has much I want, but a favour is always useful they say.”
“Ranma don’t-” Akane tried to interject.
“Then let’s get to it!” Ranma shouted.
“Great, out in the yard or the dojo?”
“Yard, this will be quick.”
“Sounds good,” Anko took off her jacket, folding it onto the table and stepped out into the yard. Ranma went to follow but Akane grabbed his shoulder.
“Wha?”
“Ranma, I don’t like this. This girl beat Happosai and we know nothing about her, this could be a trap.”
“Ah come on Akane, I’ve beaten a god, what else can challenge me out there? Hell, she’s almost as short as my girl form. So relax, I got this,” Ranma said with his usual smugness.
Akane grumbled but made no more protest.
“Ranma, this isn’t just for your honour but the whole school’s!” shouted Soun.
“Boy, you beat this girl and I’ll teach you all my secret techniques!” shouted Happosai.
“Show this weak girl the strength of men, boy!” shouted his father.
The three by this point had all their fans out and were doing a cheering wave of sorts.
Ranma faced his opponent.
“Wow, you got some nice cheerleaders there, Ranma.”
“When it benefits them. Say you won’t surrender now would ya? I really rather not hit a girl, and while I’m Saotome Ranma, I’m kinda a big deal you hear.”
“Oh, I’ve heard. How about this to ease your manly honour, one hit and you’re out.”
“Works for me. We going to fight or wha?”
“Anyone ever teach you patience, Ranma?”
“Pops ain’t good at much other martial arts.”
“So I’ve heard,” she smirked.
Even Ranma’s warning bells were going off at this point,
‘Something ain't right’ he thought.
“Alright, come at me Ranma, the ‘man amongst men’, ha!”
If there was one thing Ranma was sensitive about, it was his manliness, so any thought of worry shot out of his brain as anger bloomed.
“What’s so funny?” he yelled.
“Oh come on, anyone with eyes Ranma can tell that, while you know…”
“You know what?!?” he yelled punching Anko, but she wasn’t there. She had just barely moved her face from where he would have hit.
‘What was that about? What does she know about Ranma?’ Nabiki’s alarm bells were firing off. Normally, a martial arts fight didn’t mean much to her, but something about this girl was unnerving. She wasn’t the only one unnerved by Anko as Akane watched Anko just barely dodge every one of Ranma’s attacks.
‘No, she letting Ranma barely miss on purpose, it’s like my first match with Ranma all over again but reversed!’
“I think that punch was a week late Ranma. Come now, show me what a god slayer can do.”
“Shut up you crossdresser!” he kicked at her but missed again.
“Oh I’m hurt, but you know what they say, it takes one to know one right?”
Ranma yelled at her trying to hit her with Tenshin Amaguriken, but she even dodged every one of them.
“Quit dodging and hit me!”
“Ah, well you see, I don’t like to hit girls.”
“Moko Takabisha!” shouted Ranma firing off a massive ki blast at his opponent, who proceeded to dodge again, ducking to the left side to Ranma’s behind.
“‘Pride’ eh? Well, you sure have a lot of that don’t you Ranma, it might be the only thing you have in fact.”
Ranma yelled again in frustration and continued his assault, bringing out more and more of his ki and special attacks, while Anko continued to jab at Ranma’s manliness and pride.
A few hours later, little was left of the yard and holes adorn the walls of the dojo and house from Ranma’s ki blasts, the wall was but rumble by this point. Barely standing was Ranma, exhausted while Anko yawned standing tall atop a rock, still untouched. Most watchers of the fight had grown bored by this point and moved on to other things save Akane and Genma, who continued to yell at Ranma to man up and beat the girl. Nabiki was on the phone, calling her ‘friends’ to find out info on this Ryo Anko while keeping the fight in her peripheral vision. Akane was dealing with mixed emotions. On one hand, it was great for Ranma to have payback, dealing with the same kinda tactics he uses on opponents and ‘friends’. On the other, it was still greatly concerning how well Anko knew Ranma and his weak spots.
“Now Ranma, this has been fun, but I’m getting hungry and I can smell lovely cooking in that kitchen so I’m going to wrap this up,” Anko said.
“We ain’t… we ain’t… done until we… done. Saot… Saotome Ranma never loses.”
“Of course, I’ll just take that as a yes then.”
No rebuttal was made as Ranma put up his fighting stance. Anko approached Ranma and put up a boxer’s stance. Both punched at the same time, but Ranma went wide while Anko uppercut Ranma, sending him flying into the koi pond. Anko laughed to herself while she walked to the pond.
“Hopefully that cooled you off a bit, eh Saotome?” she snarked.
Ranma, now female, floated to the surface and spat out the fish water from her mouth.
“Everyone, dinner is ready!” announced Kasumi.
“Come on Ranma, a meal will cheer you up.” Anko lent out her hand for Ranma to grab, but all Ranma did was glare and dejectedly get out of the water, walking towards the house.
“Fair enough,” Anko shrugged her shoulders.
“Ah, Ranma boy! You’ve become soft dealing with all those weakling challenges, you’re hardly a real man!” yelled Genma.
“Ah, are you volunteering yourself than Saotome-san to show me how a real man fights?” asked Anko.
“Ah, well… honour says-”
“Of course Saotome-san, you must regain the honour of not only your school but your son as well, as well teach me a lesson in how weak women are,” Anko said with venom in its last words.
‘So she doesn’t just know Ranma, she knows Genma as well, this gets more and more interesting’ Nabiki pondered.
With everyone’s eyes on him, Genma gulped before saying,
“Well, but of course, a master must always be ready to teach,” Genma said stepping out into the yard.
“Oh, but dinner is ready,” Kasumi said.
“Don’t worry Kasumi-san, this won’t take long,” Anko said smiling. She took off and threw her jacket onto the porch.
Genma tightened his gi’s belt and faced his opponent.
“Unlike the boy, I don’t have any issue with hitting women.”
“I didn’t expect you would Saotome-san, let’s start shall we?” she said with a fox’s grin and eyes closed.
“Let’s.”
Just as Genma took his fighting stance, Anko’s battle aura ignited. Ranma watched as he felt the heat reach him on the porch, drying him off instantly.
‘It’s like the opposite of Soul of Ice’ Ranma thought.
And then, she was on him. Punch after punch leaving no room for a breath or escape. Watchers could smell flesh burning, Anko’s fists glowing hot.
‘The speed she was punching at it has to be Tenshin Amaguriken or a similar technique'
When she finished her attack, Genma was left standing in a bloody burnt mess, clearly unconscious.
Anko let out a breath and walked towards the house,
“Sorry about that, had to let out a bit of steam,” she said.
Most of the household was stunned, they had never seen such a beatdown in martial arts unless it was a serious match or someone like Akane or Ryoga was angry. The look in her eyes as she beat down Genma, they were merciless and angry. Ranma clenched his fists,
‘She went easy on me…’ Ranma thought before heading to the kitchen to grab the kettle.
“Hmph, that style's dangerous and surprisingly quick, took me off guard. Although it was a real fight unlike this. Who taught you, darling?” Happosai asked as Anko took a seat at the table.
“Oh a bit here and there, my job has me travelling around a lot so I learn different stuff, never sticking to one school.”
“Well at least you fit in well in the Anything Goes school,” said Soun.
“My thoughts exactly.”
“So what is your job if you don’t mind me asking,” said Nabiki.
“Oh me?” Anko shallowed a piece of food then continued, “I’m a journalist.”
‘Well, that explains her knowledge, but not her skills. There aren’t a lot of martial artists out there that can challenge, let alone, beat Ranma, Happosai, or even Genma’ Nabiki pondered.
“Doesn’t explain your moves though,” Ranma said with disdain as he returned now male, “I fight people who’ve trained their whole lives who don’t move that fast.”
“Well, what can I say, I trained with the best,” she said with that fox grin.
“What were their names?” he asked.
“Want to learn all my moves eh?”
“Well, I’m going to need to train if I’m going to beat you next time.”
“Who said there was going to be a “next time”?”
Everyone paused, while Ranma was wholly taken aback.
“Well, I want a rematch of course!”
“I don’t.”
“Wha?”
“I don’t want to fight you again, I have nothing to gain from it and even if you happen to get something I did, I can just call on my favour with you to get it.”
“Eh, but, how-”
“And don’t think of just attacking me out of the blue, that’s not a challenge, that’s an assassination attempt and certainly not very honourable no?”
“I… I guess.” Ranma’s head was reeling at this point.
‘Oh, she got him’ Nabiki smirked.
“Ranma, please sit and join us for dinner,” said Kasumi. Ranma half nodded and sat down, slowly beginning to pick at his food considering his old man was still standing unconscious outside.
“This is absolutely delicious by the way Kasumi-san, thank you so much for the meal!” said Anko.
“Why thank you Anko dear.”
“Say, that’s got me thinking, Happosai has a room due to his status as Grandmaster right?”
“Well yes, but…” Soun said.
“But?”
“We’re a little tight on money right you see with all these guests at our house,” Nabiki explained falsely.
“While I wasn’t planning freeloading or anything like that, that would be terrible! I’ll happily cover my costs.” Ranma felt the invisible dagger of guilt stab his back.
“Oh that won’t be needed my dear, I’m certain we have enough with all the challenges Ranma’s been winning,” Kasumi said.
‘Kasumi no!’ cried Nabiki internally.
“That hardly seems right to me Kasumi. How about this? I’ll help out around the house and when you go shopping, I’ll join you and cover some of the bills?” proposed Anko.
“Oh, well it would be nice to have some extra help around the house.”
“Wonderful then it’s settled. I’ll take my stuff up to Happosai’s old room after dishes.”
“Oh, I have that handled please Ryu-san.”
As the war of politeness waged on, Nabiki continued to ponder about their new guest.
‘She found a way to justify her staying while still setting it on her own terms, avoiding paying a ‘tenet’ fee to me when I could have made it unaffordable. Meanwhile, Ranma is unable to challenge her easily. Ranma has a bad habit of losing his first match with someone but winning the next one. She’s denied him that. She’s even gotten Kasumi on her side. She’s good. This girl has clearly planned what is going to happen today and carries at least some grudge against Genma based on that massacre. What’s her goal here?’
Breaking Nabiki’s train of thought was the nearly broken Ranma speaking up,
“What… what can I do to make you fight me?” asked Ranma.
Anko looked at Ranma before crossing her arms and thinking for a minute. The silence was audible until Anko snapped her fingers,
“I got it," She pointed at Ranma "I want you Ranma to find true happiness.”
There was a pregnant pause in the air.
“What- what the hell does that mean?!?” yelled Ranma.
“You heard what I said, I want you to find your true happiness. It’s quite a simple request no?”
“But why?” Akane asked this time, “Why does Ranma’s happiness matter to you?”
“Oh well that’s a secret~,” She said with a fox grin “I might tell you once Ranma finds it.”
“Ha, well this will be easy. I was worried there for a second,” the return of smug Ranma was swift.
“Oh, will it?”
“I mean, it’s easy to be happy.”
“Is it? To be truly happy and content? And you can’t lie to me Saotome, I’ll know if you are, can you honestly say right now that you’re happy?”
Such a simple question and yet it completely bewildered Ranma.
“I… I don’t know.” The answer strangely surprised the others at the table.
“Well, I know just the thing, we can have the marriage for Ranma and Akane set up tomorrow. Marriage is true happiness as they say!” proclaimed Soun.
“Dad, you said we were waiting until all the other fiances’ stuff was settled!”
“And who said I wanted to marry that uncute tomboy!”
With the magic word said, chaos descended upon the living room. By this point, Anko was finished, so after putting away her dishes, she grabbed her stuff and went to her new room. After dodging the fallout of the living room madness, she found the room easily enough.
‘I’m going to clear this room out of all Happosai's junk soon before I end up cursed or infected. Plus his "collection" shouldn’t exist.’ Anko thought to herself as she settled in. Undressing to a tank top and simple shorts, she lay in a futon before opening her suitcase and examining a photo she hid inside it. The photo was of a young redheaded woman, her hair in a simple ponytail, wearing a muddy tanktop with a stupid grin on her face as she held a baby with auburn hair in her arms.
“I promise you’ll find happiness this time Mom,” she said, before kissing the photo, hiding it again and falling asleep.