Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

As Solomon waited for the receptionist to call his name he looked down at his feet wondering how it came to this. He had done everything he could to keep his mental state stable. “What if he laughs at me for being a waste of oxygen,” he thought to himself.

“Maybe I didn’t do enough.” He said reprimanding himself out loud for thinking that way.

“Solomon Filch.” He heard the receptionist faintly call his name. And even though he was waiting for this moment he still couldn’t help but jump at the sudden mention of his name, he was on edge, he felt twitchy, and a sudden compression on his chest, but he could tell he wasn’t moving. He was nervous, and he could feel it. As much as he hoped it wasn’t true, that it was all in his head he knew that he needed help... he just didn’t know how much.

After he heard the receptionist call his name one more time he finally responded, albeit reluctantly. “Yeah... that’s me.”

“Hello Mr. Filch, the name’s Tracey Kopps, I’m the NEW receptionist, after the last one was fired,” she looked left and right checking to see if there was anyone watching, even though Solomon was the only person there. “She was a TERRIBLE person, a real bitch if ya ask me,” she whispered chuckling soon after.

Solomon just stared at her; a deadpan expression splayed against his face. If he were to guess that was probably supposed to be a joke but he was too in his own head for it to click in time. Which resulted in Tracey’s ears lowering.

“Sorry about that, Dr. Conover would like to see ya now... sorry for wasting your time.” Solomon could feel the embarrassment in the air, he felt a bit of secondhand embarrassment because it was his fault for not laughing at her “joke” but he thought nothing of it.

“It’s okay, I should’ve caught the joke. I’m just a little frazzled, y’know. I don’t know how this is gonna go.” As he said that he stared at the door some more.

“Mr. Filch,” Tracey said gaining Solomon’s attention as she snapped her fingers. It felt like 5 secs to Solomon but in reality, it was about 2-3 minutes. “Mr. Filch, I can assure ya that there is nothing wrong with getting, or seeking, the help ya need. We all need some help sometimes, better late than neva if ya ask me.”

While her attempts to reassure Solomon were in good will, they simply couldn’t help Solomon. His mind was unfazed. Almost as if it was trying to actively overpower the doe, Solomon’s subconscious started to flash images in his head and conjure up thoughts of failure and worthlessness. Some of the images were as simple as him just was walking out of the building. Others, sadly, didn’t have the same luxury. As more images flashed in his head, the worst they became. Several of the images showed him being shunned for trying to receive the help he needed. Others showed him jumping out the window. The final image that he was shown, was of someone bursting through the doors, gun in paw, looking at him and taking aim. He was definitely terrified but, he was not surprised, because he had already seen it all before.

Once that image played in his head, he had finally shaken himself out of his self-induced trance. He turned, heading towards the door, as he was leaving, he turned towards Tracey, a worried look on her face, he shook his head and seldomly spoke. “I’m sorry ma’am. You’re right, but... I can’t do this.”

Tracey was just about to speak, but the badger was already reaching for the handle.

Once again, she heard him speak, “I’ll be on my way now, goodbye.”

Right before he could open the door, his paw gripping the handle for dear life, he heard the door he was staring at just moments ago start to open. He swiftly turned his head in the direction of the noise as more images started generating in his head. He couldn’t tell he was hyperventilating but he could feel it, and as he was about to pass out from the pressure on his chest getting harder and harder. He felt a large hand clasp his shoulder, and there he saw Dr. Conover, a concerned look plastered on the bear’s face.

“Mrs. Kopps, who is this?” The deep voice of the doctor made the office rumble, and right as Tracey was about to respond, she was quickly interrupted. “Wait! Let me look at my watch,” his movements were hasty. He knew he couldn’t waste any time with this patient.

“Ah! 4:41. Mr. Solomon Filch, I presume. Are you alright, sir? Do you need a hand or a minute to rest?” He knew that Solomon needed help, but he didn’t want to force it onto him. He wanted to give the badger a choice.

“Doc, I can’t do this. I can’t.” Solomon’s response was one that Dr. Conover didn’t want to hear. It was a depressing reminder of what he himself has done in the past. He had heard it all the time, but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt him to hear it.

“I’m sorry Mr. Filch, but I can tell that you NEED this. I will not force you but if you could please come sit in my chair. We can work through this. Now please bear in mind, that you can always reschedule. We don’t need to do start today. Hell, we don’t have to start tomorrow... but we have to start eventually.”

Solomon could hear the sincerity in his voice, he also knew that he’d probably say that to every single person that was apprehensive about talking about their lives, but he gave in to the pressure in his chest. He started blinking rapidly, he knew he was about to cry, it was something he didn’t like doing in front of people but he eventually started to bawl uncontrollably, it was something he hadn't one in years, and Dr. Conover could tell.

While Solomon was pouring his emotions out of his eyes, empathy clouded Dr. Conover’s actions as he approached the disheveled badger, getting on one knee, and encasing him in a tight hug. It was the sort of hug a parent would give to their child, a hug that only a parent could give.

With a clear of her throat, Tracey gained the attention of the doctor. “You guys want me t’give ya some space,” she asked quietly not wanting to disturb the situation in front of her, but it was too late. When the doctor noticed what he was doing, he released Solomon, and with a clear of his own throat, he spoke.

“No, Mrs. Kopps, you can stay right there,” he then turned his attention to Solomon. “Mr. Filch, are you ready to come into my office?” His voice was about as friendly, and reassuring, as he could get it.

Solomon wasn’t exactly sure if he was ready mentally, but he knew that it was finally time to get the help that he needed, and so with a pinch of nervousness, but mostly clarity, he spoke. “Yeah. I’m ready.”

And with that Dr. Conover led Solomon to his office. Where he will hopefully get the help he so desperately needed.

Chapter Text

As Solomon walked into Dr. Conover’s office, he noted the many bookcases filled with books about the study of the mind, behavioral research, and normal encyclopedias. There were also pictures of Dr. Conover and Tracey, that piqued Solomon’s interest. Some with, probably, friends and family, but he wouldn't know unless he asked.

“Oh, are y’and Tracey a thing?” He asked nonchalantly.

The question seemed to bring a smile to the bear’s face. “If I had a dollar for every time I got asked that question, I wouldn’t be working here.” He chuckled.

“So, what’s with the pictures?”

It was a simple question that just seemed to spark some type of childlike joy into the bear. “I’ll tell you after today’s session. Deal?” A sly smile formed across the bear’s face.

The same smile crept onto Solomon’s face as well. “Deal.”

“With that settled, let’s start the session, shall we?” Dr. Conover asked still reinforcing the freedom of choice to Solomon.

“We shall. What do y’wanna know, Doc?” Solomon said trying to feign his enthusiasm for the session.

“Well, since you want to learn a bit about me. How about we learn a bit more about you besides, well your name? Tell me something you like about yourself.” After that question, he gave an inquisitive look to the badger.

“Oh! Uh... I guess I- uh-” Solomon raked through his mind, in an attempt, to find something he liked about himself but alas he couldn’t really find anything.

Dr. Conover couldn’t help it, but a frown formed on his face, as well as a twinge of guilt in his head. “Okay, how about something, or someone, in your life? What do you like about them?”

Almost immediately Solomon could think about his friends. “Gosh, where do I start? Clyde’s funny, Celia’s smart and strong, and Aiden is a jerk at times, but he’s probably the greatest best friend I could ask for.”

The immediate response was a major improvement from barely being able to answer at all to Dr. Conover. Once again, he gave Solomon a knowing look, but it was something that Solomon could never really pay attention to, he just didn’t have it in him to say anything about it at the time. Solomon’s attention then went from his look to Dr. Conover’s mumbling something under his breath, and then to him scribbling some notes into a journal of some kind.

“Mr. Filch, why was it so easy for you to come up with positives for your friends, but not yourself?” Dr. Conover questioned.

As much as Solomon wanted to lie, he knew that it wouldn’t get him the help he needed. All he needed to do was answer the questions and move on with his life after 3-4 sessions. Therapy never really worked for him. Hopefully, this time is different.

“To put this as bluntly, and as simply as I can...” He hesitated to wonder if this question would make him look bad. “I couldn’t think of anything, everything that was positive had a negative and then I could only think of negatives. I really find it hard to talk about myself. It’s always been a problem, I’m in a shell that’s impossible to crack, it’s hard.” It was tough to answer but that was the best response he could come up with.

With another few brief strokes of his pen to the journal, more notes were pasted onto the journal and Dr. Conover didn’t know how to respond. It was a tricky subject to handle but he needed to ask one more question. He needed more information on Solomon.

“Another question, Solomon.”

“Shoot, Doc.” Albeit slightly crestfallen in himself, Solomon still decided to continue. Putting the most optimistic front he could muster.

Dr. Conover let out an exhausted sigh as he tried to think of a good way to phrase his question. “Which is more important to you, Solomon? Self-worth, or self-confidence? And, I won’t force you to, but can you explain why.”

This was probably both the easiest and the hardest, question Solomon had to answer. It was easy because he knew the answer, but it was hard because he didn’t know why. Once again, he was slipping into his thoughts, not wanting to leave the answer without an explanation.

“Solomon.” Dr. Conover beckoned.

He noticed that just like the very first question he asked him, he was unresponsive. He already had an idea what the badger would pick, he just needed to get it out of him. “Solomon, do you have an answer?” His voice was serious, he wanted an answer. No, he NEEDED an answer, if he wanted to really help the badger, he needed an answer.

Cluing in on the tone of the bear’s voice, Solomon knew he had to say something. “I have an answer, I just don’t know how to explain it.” His voice was low, and he hung his head low, he was disappointed in himself.

“Then don’t explain it.” Dr. Conover’s tone was harsh, but gentle as well. “I can see you’re struggling, Solomon. We have many other sessions after this to get you to the point where you can explain that answer. This profession calls for me to be patient, and I am willing to be. If you think you are not ready to explain yourself, and even then, you don’t have to.”

Dr. Conover stopped for a second, feeling that his approach was probably a bit too strong. “Solomon, you can just answer the question.”

While the serious tone of Dr. Conover’s voice worried the badger at first, he could see that it was really a tone he only ever used whenever he was desperate. It added a certain type of sincerity to his words, and so the badger finally thought of an explanation for his answer.

“Self-worth is more important to me.”

“As I thought, now why is that? Again, you don’t have to explain it now, but try to find a way to explain it later.” Dr. Conover reinforced; his tone was a lot more relaxed than before seeing the badger finally open up to him.

“Self-worth has always been something I thought I lacked. So, I started to try and focus on it more than self-esteem, or self-confidence.” It was a simple explanation but Dr. Conover couldn’t have had it any other way.

Dr. Conover was pleased that Solomon was able to explain himself. He wasn’t expecting him to. Not because he thought so little of him, but because he would’ve liked to take it slower than his usual sessions, but something bugged him. He looked at his watch; the time read 5:57. He and Solomon had been going for more than an hour. He frowned, but soon after a smile crept upon his face.

“Solomon, one last question before I share something about myself, and then we’ll end today's session. Is that fine with you?”

Do y’really have to ask, Doc? Shoot.”

“When you gave your explanation, you mentioned that self-esteem and self-confidence took more of a backseat in your life. Why didn’t you also include self-knowledge into your explanation?”

“I already know a lot about myself. My strengths. My weaknesses. How most, if not all of my strengths, feed my weaknesses. I know too much about myself for it not to have some importance in my life.”

Solomon’s response made Dr. Conover gleam with jubilance. “Excellent answer, Solomon.”

“Now about Tracey and me. If my earlier retort didn’t hint at our relationship, I will tell you now that Tracey and I are not a thing. We are however related. I only say Mrs. Kopps to stay professional during work hours.”

Solomon’s jaw was agape, he couldn’t believe it. “Wait, what! Doc, are y’serious?!” Solomon was in shock. “How are they related?” kept coming into his mind shadowing over the negative thoughts he had during the session.

“Before we leave, one more thing, Solomon.” A positive you could’ve used was your self-knowledge. Not many people can say what their weaknesses are, let alone that their strengths feed them. The next session is overmorrow. See you at 4:30, Solomon.”

“Yeah, see y’then Doc.”

Chapter Text

As Solomon was waking up from his late-night slumber, he could hear the loud cacophony of his alarm. He sighed mumbling disappointedly, about how he forgot to turn off his alarm until he got finished with therapy.

It was 4:35 in the morning, a reminder of the things he’s done to others, a reminder of why he is getting help at all. As much as he wanted to fall asleep again, he couldn’t seem to lull himself back into his slumber. Once again, he sighed sitting up in his bed, one leg propped up and his muzzle resting against his paw as he sat in the dark. Wanting to fix that, he raised the blinds from his window peering out at the silent night. It was something he did whenever he had a lot on his mind. He longed for an apartment or a house by the water, if only because of the view.

Whenever he peered out of his window, he would release whatever was in his mind, his thoughts, the seeds of doubt his mind planted, they were all dumped there. He would only move when he felt like he said enough, but that wasn’t the case this time. He never started with the usual question directed at the empty trees, “What to talk about?” Instead, as he looked out the window, he stared at the sky tram hoping that one day he’ll get to ride it. It was something he wanted to do since he first moved into his apartment, but he never had the chance due to work. He then looked over at the city, wondering what someone’s story was, and if they were doing better than him. This continued for what Solomon thought was 5 minutes but was actually 20 minutes.

Wanting to feel productive, and also to just get out of bed, he decided to take a trip. His plans were quickly shut down though by a text. It was from Clyde and it read, “Hey I know it might br early for u but u wanna come hang out with us?”

This surprised Solomon. Clyde wasn’t normally the “early” type. He was a night owl, but that wasn’t going to stop him from accepting the offer. A giddy smile crept upon his face as he responded to the text. “Finally, it's been a while hasn’t it?”

He stared at his phone as he waited for a response, something that sees as a problem.

“That it has, Stripes. A small warning we will be drinking u know how u r around alcohol.”

Solomon felt a tad bit offended, but he knew it was said out of concern. “It’s been too long, I just miss you guys. Hell, I might even join you all.”

Solomon tapped his chin wondering if this was a good idea. Realizing he probably set himself up. In an instant, he quickly added, “No promises though.”

“Trust me. We wont be getting blackout drunk just slightly tipsy.”

Solomon highly doubted this, but he wasn’t going to dampen the mood by being a spoil-sport because of some drinking.

Before he could send a text asking Clyde where they were going, he received another text from Clyde.

“R u dressed?“

Solomon looked at the question quizzically. “No, I just woke up. Why?”

After he sent that text there was a sudden blare of a car horn, possibly waking up many of the building’s occupants. He grimaced hoping that his neighbors didn’t get woken up. He wasn’t able to think about it because as the car horn was being blown, he could hear his name being yelled.

“They must hate me.” Solomon thought out loud, a slight chuckle escaping his muzzle as he started to get dressed. Was he embarrassed? Yes. Did this make him regret wanting to hang out with his friends? Absolutely not.

As he finally walked outside, fully dressed in a blue hoodie, pink shirt, and khaki pants, he couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of his neighbors scolding his friends. One of the neighbors being Dexter Pike, a porcupine that’s probably seen it all. That is a fancy way of saying that he is old. The porcupine then turned his head towards the badger seeing him step out of the apartment complex.

“Sorry about my friends, Mr. Pike. They’re just a bit impatient.” Solomon said with a toothy, condescending grin appearing on his face as he turned towards his friends.

“Control your friends, badger,” was all the porcupine said before going back inside the building.

“What a rude person,” said Celia. She never liked anyone who called anyone out by their species.

“Maybe if some people didn’t wake the porker we would’ve been fine,” Solomon said, once again mockingly looking at Clyde, who was in the driver’s seat mumbling something, presumably about the porcupine.

Yeah, yeah just get in the car, Stripes.”

He didn’t get to ask the question via text before, but asking in person is always better than not asking at all.

“Hey. So, uh, where are we going?”

Solomon noticed the bobcat tense, Celia and Aiden also looked at Clyde possibly just agreeing and wondering the same thing. Clyde tried to avoid the multiple eyes on him, but his efforts were futile.

“Gonna be honest, Stripes. You probably won’t like it.” Clyde said reluctantly.

Instinctively, Solomon’s face went from an excited smile to a deadpan frown.

“I can wait ‘til y’guys get done. I’m not going to the asylum.” Solomon declared.

“C’mon, Stripes. You know how you are if you don’t go. We all know how much of a worrywart you ar- Ow! Hey!” Clyde was cut short by both Celia and Aiden socking him in the arm.

Aiden shot an annoyed look at the bobcat. “What I think he’s trying to say, Filch is that we don’t want you to worry about us, and we know how you hate not being around while we’re out and about.”

Solomon knew what Clyde meant, even if it was somewhat harsh, but it didn’t help sway his decision. “I know how I am, but that doesn’t change my mind about not going.”

Everyone noticed how adamant Solomon was about his choice, and once again all eyes fell upon Clyde.

“Okay, Stripes, you win. We won’t go to the abandoned asylum. We CAN go somewhere else though.” Clyde said piquing Solomon’s interest.

Aiden crossed his arms and stared at the bobcat inquisitively. “Where?”

Albeit he was skeptical that Clyde could come up with another, better, spot. Solomon was curious about what he could come up with.

“We could go to that lake near Bunnyburrow, and grab something from that “Baked goods” shop I heard good things about.”

Everyone looked at Clyde, all the staring was making him nervous. “What?”

“Nothing. That’s a perfect spot. Why wasn’t that your first pick?” Celia said chiding her brother.

“I like the atmosphere of the asylum, Plus, it would be nice to look at the water,” Clyde replied looking at the steering wheel.

“Can’t be mad at that. I don’t blame you, the serenity of the waves crashing really brings out the beauty of the sunrise. Speaking of the sunrise let’s get going so we don’t miss it.” Celia said pushing Clyde to start driving. “First stop the baked goods shop. I hear that the pies there are to die for.” Clyde said, excited to see his friends excited about the trip.

Once they finally arrived at Bunnyburrow they asked around for directions to the baked goods shop. Every interaction left them with more questions than answers. Every conversation ended with a paranoid bunny looking around frantically and walking back to their respective houses.

“This is a bust!” Aiden shouted getting frustrated that the residents weren’t being cooperative. The wolf garnered more attention than needed but the group didn’t seem to care much. It wasn’t until they stopped by what seemed to be a farm. A male rabbit tending to his carrots caught sight of them rather early, possibly due to his large ears, and greeted them as customers.

“Well, howdy name’s Stu. This here is the award-winning Hopps Farms, what can I do for ya?”

Aiden was the one to approach, he is the dad of the group after all, and held out his hand. “Name’s Aiden, me and my friends here need directions to... Clyde, what’s the place called?”

“Uh, Gideon Grey’s Real Good Baked Stuff... I think.”

“Oh! Speak of the devil! Gideon was just here you missed him, but if directions are all you want then they come at a price.” Stu said much to the chagrin of the group.

Solomon looked at his phone, the time read 5:39. He was relieved that they still had time before the sun rises but they still didn’t have much time to haggle.

“Mr. Hopps, we’ll take your deal. What d-?” Everyone stopped the badger huddling up like a sports team before a major game. Aiden was the first to speak.

“Now wait just a minute, Filch. We don’t know what he wants.” Before he could finish, he turned towards the rabbit, who seemed to be talking to someone in the house, and back at Solomon, continuing where he left off. “He could be some creep wanting to get something out of us.”

“We don’t have much time left. I just want to get these directions so we can enjoy ourselves.” Solomon chimed in catching the rest of the group off guard. Aiden sighed caving into the logic that Solomon presented. “Fine.”

“Mr. Hop-”

“You need to work on your indoor voices ‘cause I could still hear you.” Aiden's ears flattened, a grimace appearing on his face.

“Sorry about that, we’re on a bit of a time constraint and we need those. So, what is your price?”

“You thought I was serious, HAHA! Bonnie! I got ‘em!” Stu shouted towards the window of the farm; a female bunny appeared snickering at her husband’s scheme.

“Gid’s shop is just down the road, you can’t miss it. It’ll have a red truck outside of it. The sign is pink and everything.”

Everyone was dumbfounded and confused, but nonetheless relieved. “Thank you, Mr. Hopps,” Celia said before going to the car. “Come on guys, we don’t have much time,” chimed Clyde as he rushed to the car after her. Aiden and Solomon stayed back wanting to repay Stu for the directions that others refused to give them. “Hey, Mr. Hopps. Y’got any raspberries for sale,” asked the badger.

“Boy, do I! How much you want? I can get you a jar or two for... let’s say 20 bucks.”

“Deal.” Solomon agreed before turning towards Aiden. “Y’know y’can go back to the car, right?” Solomon suggested.

“Yeah, but where’s the fun in that? Plus, I know how much you love raspberries. May just get you some more who knows.”

“Really?”

“Only if you behave.” Aiden joked, making Solomon roll his eyes.

“Thanks, y’big ol’ lug.”

Once Solomon got his jars of raspberries, they were finally off toward Gideon Grey’s Real Good Baked Stuff. Along the way, Solomon could tell that the mood was back to normal. Clyde was smiling as he drove, looking at the road with a sense of adventure, and longing. Celia was in the back looking out the window, even though she didn’t show it, Solomon knew she was excited to see the sunrise. Aiden on the other hand was as stoic as ever. Solomon could never get a thought of what the wolf was feeling, but he could only hope it was excitement.

“We’re here,” Clyde beamed, obviously really, giddy to try something sweet.

“Great, let’s go inside and order,” Solomon said also glad that they finally made it to the shop.

Once inside the group had a look around. As they looked around, they saw that the room was empty. They did see a bell though, and with a simple push of a button, a pudgy fox came into the room with a wide smile on his face.

“Hello there, muh name’s Gideon Grey an’ welcome t’ Gideon Grey’s Real Good Baked Stuff. Ah, assure ya that this stuff ain’t just good... it’s real good. What can ah do for ya, ladies and gents?”

Solomon was completely enamored by the fox’s energy. It was a type of energy he longed for, a type of energy that could smother him. He approached first, clearly flustered on what to ask.

“D-do y-y'have any raspberry pie?”

“Why yes ah do, and yer just in luck cuz ah just baked some before you came in. So, it’s nice and hot for ya.”

Solomon was lost in Gideon’s eyes, not realizing that his friends were waiting on him to move out of the way.

Celia was the one to snap him out of his trance, giving him a hard smack in the back. “Earth to Solomon! Hello! We still gotta order, ya know.”

“Oh, sorry guys. I must’ve... blacked out, hehe.” Solomon said trying to play it cool and not seem embarrassed.

“Yeah... blacked out. Clyde, I think we should come out here more often. What do you think?” Celia said taking a shot out of Solomon’s pride.

After everyone ordered their respective baked goods, Clyde got a few blueberry muffins, Celia got a slice of carrot cake, Aiden got what looked like chocolate cake, but Solomon later found out was Tiramisu, and Solomon got a couple of slices of raspberry pie, they set off to the lake that was just slightly bordering Bunnyburrow. Solomon checked his phone once again, it was 5:47, this made Solomon worry if they were going to make it to the lake.

“Hey guys, we got about 10 minutes before the sun rises. Clyde, how much farther until we make it to the lake?”

“I would say about a minute or so, but we are very, very close to it.”

“Wait! There it is,” shouted Celia. The sight of the lake was beautiful, it was a large body of water that seemed to stretch for miles. “Perfect spot for fishing,” Aiden said quietly, probably keeping a mental note of its location. It didn’t take long for them to find a clear spot to park the car and set everything up. As they were almost finished putting down the blanket, Celia beckoned their attention.

“Guys, look!” Celia said pointing at the horizon, there was the pure sound of bliss and awe that came from the few words that Celia spoke. “It’s beautiful.”

As Solomon and Aiden straightened up the blanket, they both took a small peek at what Celia was pointing, and there they saw it. The smooth gradient of the night blue and morning orange. It was something that Solomon hadn’t seen since he was a cub. As the sun started to rise, the water began to illuminate with the light of the sun, getting brighter and brighter as the sun crept up slowly.

The group was in awe at the beauty, they all had a silent agreement and sat down with their respective sweets and watched as the sun rose.

After they were done eating and the morning bliss that they encountered subsided, Solomon could hear Celia calling his name from another side of the lake. Not wanting to just leave Clyde and Aiden, he announced his departure and went towards Celia.

“Yeah Celia, y’called?” Solomon said.

“I did, I wanted to talk to you about something,” Celia stated.

“What is it?”

“When we were at Gideon’s shop, why were you just standing there with that thousand-yard stare on your face.” Celia already knew the answer but she wanted to hear it from Solomon himself.

Solomon looked around, not particularly wanting to answer the question, but also to avoid her gaze. “I was thinking about something.” Solomon lied.

“You know you can tell me anything right, Solomon?”

Even though Solomon was getting annoyed at the bobcat, he knew this was something he wouldn’t be able to wiggle out of. “Did I look like a fool?” Solomon said with a pained smile on his face.

“No, you looked like you had found something though.” Celia’s answer had intrigued the badger, to the least. It was the truth he did think in his mind that he had found something he had been trying to find for many years, but it felt fake. Not what his mind was telling him he found, but the feeling itself.

“At least, I didn’t look like a fool,” Solomon said.

Celia could tell that he was crestfallen. It was a pain to see him like this, so she decided to change the subject.

“You know what Solomon?” Celia said gaining Solomon’s attention. “I hope my future boyfriend is just like you.”

“Like me how?”

“You know.” She said twirling her hand around and looking for words to describe the badger. “Caring, funny, sensible, and awkward, maybe adorable... it’s hard to describe you but those are the best words I can think of.”

“Flattering... but for your boyfriend's sake... I hope he’s nothing like me.” Solomon said dismissingly.

“Care to tell why, or is my badgering beginning to be too much?” Celia joked.

“Did y’just pull me from our group to flatter me or did y’actually want something?” Solomon countered.

Celia’s ears flattened, Solomon didn’t mean for what he said to sound, well mean.

“Sorry Cee... was that too harsh? I- I didn’t mean it that way. Promise!”

“No, it’s funny, the more I hang out with you guys, the more I realize something about myself, and you guys as well,” Celia said. There was a bit of sadness in the air as Celia spoke. Like what she said hit a nerve.

“What, pray tell, have y’realized, or is MY badgering beginning to be too much,” Solomon said trying to lighten the mood.

Celia chuckled at the joke, “Har har, anyway,” she said adjusting her hair and taking a short breath before speaking again. “What I mean is that I noticed that you act completely different when we’re not around; Clyde has super clear separation anxiety and copes with it by joking, something you may have as well; Aiden is so nonchalant about things that it's hard to tell if he cares about us or not, and I feel like I take you guys’ company for granted. I also know that you’re super good with secrets cause your memory is nonexistent, so how about you keep this between us? Ok?”

This was a bombshell for Solomon, he didn’t know that they had noticed the way he acts when he’s alone. “If y’don’t mind me asking, do the others think the same way about me, and why tell me this and not the whole group?”

Celia gave a small smile and a chuckle, but it quickly faded. “One. I’m not sure if Aiden cares, but me and Clyde did notice something off, that one time when we went out to eat together. As we were leaving and saying our goodbyes, me and Clyde looked back to wave but... it was scary. We’ve never seen you look so worried before. It looked like you saw a ghost or something. Then you just came with us, even though you live on the other side of the Rainforest District.”

Solomon remembered what she was referring to, he remembered that day like it was yesterday. Skipping what happened at dinner, he went to when they all said goodbye. As he looked back towards his friends as they began to leave, he felt a pain in his chest as images flashed in his head, gruesome images, of his friends getting run over by a car, or of him at home watching the news and seeing that one of his friends were missing. He gripped his chest and, begrudgingly, shook his head as he walked with them to their respective homes.

A snap coaxed Solomon out of his stupor, “Earth to Solomon. Do you want to hear number two or not?”

“No, it’s fine, I was just a bit curious. Y’know what they say, “Curiosity killed the cat.”

This made Celia raise a brow at the badger, she was a bobcat after all. “Say that again and I scratch your face.”

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry. I actually do want to hear number two.”

“I wanted to tell you this because... it’s easy to talk to you about problems, Solomon. Like I said, you’re caring, and know how to keep a secret. I know I can talk to the others about this. That they would understand but I don’t think they would listen. You listen, Solomon. You’re like the therapist for our group.”

Solomon looked at the feline, he couldn’t help but see the irony in the statement. “That’s pretty funny if y’ask me.”

“Why is that?” Celia asked.

“Another thing y’get to learn about me. I keep a lot of things from y’all... like a lot of things. Things that I just don’t feel like talking about, even if I know y’guys would be there for me. Things I can’t fully explain in a good enough way to want to tell ya. I’m not trying to be edgy or anything like that, but I have a lot on my head that I just can’t talk about.”

Celia was about to respond to Solomon, but a car horn stopped her before she could.

“What’s the hold-up?! It’s getting late! C’mon, you two.”

“Clyde if you don’t shut up; I will personally come break one of your legs! Me and Solomon are talking, have some manners, you jerk.”

Solomon put his hand on Celia’s shoulder, “Nah, he’s right it is getting pretty late, let’s get outta here.”

Celia glared at the badger, knowing he only agreed so that he could drop the conversation, but she gave in to the façade and she sighed. “Fine. Let’s go.”

It was a long drive but they finally made it back to Zootopia. Solomon was the first to be dropped off. As Solomon got out of the car and approached the apartment complex, he turned back towards his friends who were waiting for him to get inside. He smiled and signaled for them to come out of the car. Aiden caught wind of this and ushered everyone out of the car. Solomon looked at them all, he wondered what he would do, and who would he be, without them. He was an emotional wreck and surrounded by friends who also had baggage. He walked up to Aiden first.

The wolf looked at the badger with a smile on his face knowing what was coming next. “Go ahead Filch, say it.”

Solomon chuckled and continued with what he was going to say. “Aiden, y’are the best friend a person could have. I don’t know what I would do without your bluntness to keep them in check. I just wanted to say thanks for being here.”

“Gosh, Filch, you make it sound like we’ll never see you again. Stay in touch ya’ hear.” Aiden knew what Solomon was doing so he turned to the others seeing them about to go back in the car. “Hey! Get back here! He’s got something to say to you guys too.”

“Thanks for that, Aiden. Don’t get back in the car just yet. I still have a bit more to say.” Solomon said thankful that the wolf in front of him was his best friend.

Celia and Clyde looked at Solomon expectingly, but as soon as the badger’s eyes turned towards them, they averted his gaze. Not out of cowardice or spite, but out of embarrassment.

Clyde was next, as Solomon approached, he could see that there was a look in the badger’s eyes. It was a look he hadn’t seen in a while. “Chin up, Stripes. I can tell when you're close to crying... even if it’s been a while since you did.”

Solomon could feel his face contort as he was about to speak. He forced himself to keep it in as long as he could. “Clyde, y’are the funniest in the group and I wanted to let you know that I appreciate just how far y’would go just to make us happy. It is truly a miracle to have y’as a friend.”

“Aiden’s right. You do sound like your gonna leave us, Stripes. You, okay?” Clyde fretted.

“Never better,” Solomon reassured.

Everyone eyed the badger. Aiden’s usually nonchalant demeanor was replaced with that of concern. It wasn’t unlike Solomon to give these types of talks, but those were usually for New Year’s Eve when he makes a toast to friendship. Clyde already had a look of concern when he saw that the badger was about to cry. Celia’s ears were flattened. She didn’t like the badger’s tone, it was too calm like he was coming to peace with something.

Solomon finally approached Celia, a look of peace was all she saw in his eyes. “Celia, don’t get anyone that’s like me. Find someone that compliments your personality. Y’are the most outspoken of all of us. I am sure y’can find someone with how strong y’are emotionally. I am entirely grateful for what y’help me with.”

Solomon called for all of them to get closer, not giving Celia any time to respond. They could see he was struggling to keep his tears under control as they streamed down his face “I love y’all… so, so much.” was the last thing he said as he hugged them, crying as they hugged him back.

Chapter Text

As Solomon approached Dr. Conover’s office, he took a short, but deep, breath. He still wasn’t used to opening up about himself, but he’s gotten better. It took him a while to even open up to his friends. Even then he was super vague about what he told them.

“I’m pathetic,” he said to himself looking up at the sky’s vivid grey. Living in the Rainforest District made him come to hate the rain. Getting soaked constantly when he first moved out there also contributed to that hatred.

“The rain must be affecting your confidence, but believe me, Mr. Filch. You are NOT pathetic.”

Solomon was surprised by Dr. Conover’s sudden appearance, not because he didn’t think he had a personal life but because he wasn’t used to seeing him outside of his office. Nevertheless, he was happy to see him. As he looked at Dr. Conover walking towards the door, a question formed in his mind.

“Doc, do you have any other clients?”

Dr. Conover looked at Solomon, he was confused by the question, but he thought it was a reasonable enough question to answer. “Of course! I am guessing that you asked because I am outside of my office just about,” he stopped for a second, looking at his watch, “20 minutes before your appointment, yes?”

“No, actually I asked because I never see anyone by the time I’m waiting for my appointment.”

The answer took Dr. Conover by surprise, he didn’t exactly think about the lack of clients during this time of the day. “Oh! Sorry for the assumption, Mr. Filch. The reason for that is because after,” he stopped to ponder for a second, “I want to say 2:30, or sometime after, I don’t usually have clients. So, I treat that time as a good opportunity for a break.”

After being satisfied with his answer, Dr. Conover began to head inside the building. Solomon, on the other hand, stayed outside of the building for a while longer. This was his calm before the storm, and as if the world wanted to be cheeky, it started to rain marking Solomon’s time to head inside.

Mildly annoyed, and slightly wet, he finally got up from his spot on the steps. “Ready Solomon,” he said to himself, before walking into the office ready for the session. As he walked into the building, he looked towards Tracey, who was looking at something on her desk, and decided to attempt to strike up a conversation before it was time for his appointment.

“Mrs. Kopps?” Solomon beckoned.

“Why, hello there, Mr. Filch. How’s your day going so far?” Tracy asked.

“Good. It could be better though, the rain always makes me a bit antsy and irritable. How about you?”

“You could say the same thing is happening to me as well. I usually go with Conner whenever he takes his break, but the second the forecast called for rain, I stayed my tail in this building. I hate getting wet!”

Solomon was surprised to hear Tracey call Dr. Conover, “Conner”. “Hey, Mrs. Kopps, is Conner a nickname you gave to Dr. Conover?”

“Yep! And he absolutely loves it! Don’t tell him I called him that in front of you though. He doesn’t like it when I accidentally make his clients think his name is Conner. I mean they did look him up, so I didn’t expect anyone to believe that was his first name. Anyway, let’s keep this between us, okay Mr. Filch?”

“No problem, Mrs. Kopps, your secrets are safe with me. Say, is it time for my session, Mrs. Kopps?”

“Why yes, it is, Mr. Filch. Have a nice session.”

“Y’t-. Thank you, Mrs. Kopps.” Solomon said as he caught himself from speaking those words, facepalming mentally, as he entered the office.

As he was about to go through the doors a familial feeling of pressure in his chest, and glimpses of him and Dr. Conover arguing about something. In Solomon’s mind though, arguing would be a mild understatement, a better set of words to use would be, a shouting match. It was enough to make Solomon grip the handle tightly, the knuckles of his paw turning white as his grip became tighter. Before it could get worse though, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and walked into the office.

As he walked through the doors of the office, he opened his eyes. The grey light from the clouds blocking the sun began to make their presence known, a stark contrast from the windowless reception area which shined a cozy yellow. Dr. Conover seemed to notice this shock in terms of lighting as he saw Solomon squinting his eyes to look around the room.

“Do you want me to close the blinds?” Dr. Conover suggested.

“Nah, it’s fine, I just gotta get used to it. I have something that I wanna share.” Solomon said.

Dr. Conover sported a look that was both full of intrigue and concern. “From the first session, I thought it would be a bit longer before you started to share things voluntarily. Well then Mr. Filch, I am all ears, share away.” Dr. Conover mentioned, calming Solomon down a bit if only a little.

“Yesterday, I went on a short, little trip with my friends.” Solomon began.

Dr. Conover’s eyes instantly lit up, the once slightly concerned look on his face, turning into one of excitement and relief. “That sounds great, Mr. Filch. Where did you and your friends travel to,” asked Dr. Conover.

“We went to a lake by Bunnyburrow to go see the sunrise. It took a while to get there… mostly because most of the locals wouldn’t exactly give us any directions to a different place that we were trying to visit before we headed to the lake.”

“Ah, Bunnyburrow. Did you all go try some of the desserts at Gideon Grey’s Real Good Baked Stuff, heard he has some of the best pies around.” Dr. Conover said as he closed his eyes imagining having some pies delivered to his office.

Fortunately for Solomon, Dr. Conover closed his eyes for a bit, his blushing face was kept hidden from the bear. “Actually yeah, we did, it was amazing but back to what I wanted to share… if y’don’t mind. During the trip, one of my friends, Celia, told me something “insightful”.

Dr. Conover reopened his eyes and got straight to business, leaning back into his chair and grabbing his notebook as he got ready to write whatever came to his mind, stopping for a second to ask Solomon something. “Insightful you say, what did she tell you?”

Doing the opposite of Dr. Conover, Solomon leaned forward, his eyes now focusing on his paws as he began to twiddle his thumbs around each other. “Mostly just that she noticed stuff about all of us, including herself.”

“Could you elaborate on that, Solomon?” Dr. Conover asked.

Solomon started to feel a bit uncomfortable, not with Dr. Conover but with the topic itself. “Uh… yeah, a- all she said was that she and her brother, my other friend Clyde, had noticed that I was acting differently whenever I’m not with them.” Solomon’s tone was slightly out of it, not enough to shut him up completely but enough to make him feel a little bit more uncomfortable.

Dr. Conover did seem to notice this, but he wanted to continue to press the topic. Seeing as Solomon was still in commission to still keep going. “Hmmm… I see. If it’s alright with you, how do you act when you’re not around your friends?”

Before he could answer the question, that familial feeling in his chest returned as the images of his friends walking away from him and never seeing him again, or looking back at him, started to play in his head. As this feeling continued, Solomon was having a hard time answering the question. His breathing getting heavier and bordered on hyperventilating, much to his, and Dr. Conover’s dismay.

Dr. Conover while sad that it got to this point in the session, he knew that it was certainly inevitable. “We can come back to this question later if you’d like to Solomon.” Dr. Conover reassured, trying to ease Solomon back into the session.

“NO!” Solomon shouted. “I can answer this.”

Dr. Conover watched with concern as Solomon’s breath started to quicken. “Okay, Solomon, I believe you. Take your time though, we have all day.” Dr. Conover reinforced softly hoping it would calm the badger down.

Solomon’s breathing began to stabilize after he took many deep breaths. After some time, he finally continued to answer the question. “Whenever I’m alone, when I say alone, I mostly mean just without my friends. I start to feel distant and disconnected from the world, depressed even. I even get a little paranoid that I’ll never see them again, or that something bad was gonna happen to them.” Solomon finished, his eyes still focused on his paws as he continued to twiddle his thumbs.

“Y’know doc… It was bound to happen at some point,” Solomon stated. “They were gonna find out whether I liked for them to, or not. I tried my best to keep it hidden from them, but it was bound to happen eventually.”

“Mr. Filch,” Dr. Conover beckoned. “Why did you try to keep this a secret from your friends?”

“Because, I don’t want to feel like I’m dependent on them to be happy, or to not feel that loneliness… no loneliness isn’t the right word… purgatory.” Dr. Conover noticed that Solomon’s eyes were still focused on his paws.

“Mr. Fi-… Solomon. Is there anything else that Celia talked with you about… or something that was said during the trip?” Dr. Conover asked trying to change the subject.

“Yeah, she didn’t only notice stuff about me. She thinks that Aiden, my best friend, is too nonchalant. She thinks he’s bordering on stoicism, but I don’t think I’d that far. She said that Clyde has separation anxiety and that he uses comedy as a coping mechanism. Lastly, she thinks that she takes our company for granted. That was all that Celia talked about.”

“Hmm, interesting. Back to the earlier topic, when did this “depression” start?” Dr. Conover asked, testing the waters to see if they could come back to the earlier conversation.

Solomon on the other hand didn’t want to even think about that answer, it was something that started because of something from his childhood, and he didn’t feel that he was ready to share that just yet. “Can we talk about that next session? I don’t want to go back to that, just yet.”

“100% reasonable, I am happy that you are exercising your right of silence, Mr. Filch.”

Solomon’s mood brightened a bit after that. It was nice to have someone be patient with him. “Thanks for understanding, doc.”

“Did anything else happen yesterday, I wanted to ask before we ended the session.”

Solomon debated telling him about the “talk” he had with his friends, but he decided that this was something that needed to be said. Something that could end this session on a good note. “When we were done watching the sunrise and ate all of our “baked stuff”, and got back home. I had a bit of a talk with my friends, I guess I can call it that. Anyway, I had a talk with them.” Just thinking about the resolution of that talk was able to pull Solomon from out of the gutter, and put a small smile on his face.  

Dr. Conover also took notice of this positive change to the badger’s demeanor, but there was a feeling that he couldn’t shake. “What was the talk about?”

Solomon smiled as he finally lifted the focus on his paws and thumbs and put his focus on the bear sitting across from him. “The talk was mostly just about how much I care about them. It was a little bit awkward because I made it sound like they were never going to see me again, but other than that, it was a pleasant conversation.”

As much as Dr. Conover was relieved that this feeling wasn’t linked to the talk he had with his friends, he still couldn’t shake the feeling that Solomon is leaving something out. Whether intentionally or not, he had to make sure that he was wrong. “Mr. Filch, I know that I said that I would end the session after that last question… but,” he started to lean forward in his chair matching Solomon’s stance and looking him in his eyes, “are you leaving out any details, mainly about the events of the trip? To be even more specific, anything during your conversation with Celia that isn’t about you acting differently.” Dr. Conover asked inquisitively.

Solomon raised an eyebrow. He didn’t really think that he left out anything of “major” importance. “I guess that I left some other things. Mostly just things that didn’t seem that important if I’m being frank with y’doc.”

“I’m just trying to be “thorough”, Mr. Filch. It is just a small… hell minuscule inkling that I had,” Dr. Conover reassured. “Though… I would like to hear the things that you had left out if you are okay with sharing that of course.”

“Uh sure, doc. Before Celia talked about “us as a whole”, she told me that she hoped that she would find a boyfriend that was just like me.”

Dr. Conover cocked an eyebrow at that statement. “What did you think about that?”

“I thought it was flattering… but I told her that I hoped her boyfriend was nothing like me.”

“Care to share why you feel that way, Mr. Filch?” Dr. Conover said smirking.

Solomon didn’t exactly understand why Dr. Conover was smirking. As tempted as he is to ask why he was smirking, he didn’t want to talk about romantic stuff in therapy. “Not particularly at this moment. Probably next session, but I don’t exactly see how this is helpful, doc.”

“I’m just curious. Anything else to share, about the talk that is.”

“One last thing, this was right before we left the lake. Before we left the lake, Celia told me that I am the group’s… therapist. I found it ironic, and…,” Solomon sighed wondering how he didn’t think that this would be important, “and I told her that it was funny… that something else that she should learn about me is that I keep secrets from them. Secrets that I don’t think I can correctly explain to them.”

Dr. Conover looked at the badger with a look of relief. Relief that he was right, and that he could help Solomon get that weight off of his shoulders. “Thank you for sharing this with me Solomon. With so much learned about you this session, I think we should have another session tomorrow, same time as usual. What do you think?” Dr. Conover asked, making sure that Solomon at least has a choice in the matter.

“I don’t see anything wrong with that,” Solomon affirmed.

“Good, because next session will probably be a tough one, Mr. Filch. We will be going over the “reasons” that you’re here. As well as, some of the things that we didn’t get to cover today. So, be prepared for tomorrow’s topics… okay.”

“I see,” Solomon paused. He was slightly confused about why the topic hadn’t come up sooner. “Hey, doc, why haven’t we gone over any of that earlier?”

“Because you weren’t ready. Also, riddle me this Mr. Filch, is this your first time going to therapy?”

“How could y’tell?” Solomon chuckled. “To answer the question though, not really if y’count the high school counselor. I didn’t really feel like it helped much. Plus, it was years since that happened.

“Precisely my point, I felt that the best way to start was to ease you in. Especially with what happened before your first session.” Dr. Conover said bluntly, making sure Solomon understood his reasoning.

“I understand, doc,” Solomon said admiring Dr. Conover’s honesty and compassion.

“See you tomorrow, Solomon.”

As Solomon left the building, the sky was no longer the cloudy grey that they were when he first arrived. It’s still cloudy but not as “oppressive” as the rainy day earlier. Today was a very promising day, and hopefully, tomorrow will be the same.

Chapter Text

As Solomon got dressed for today’s session, there was a tension in his chest that washed over him, enough to make him have to sit down on his bed for a bit. Even though this was Solomon’s third session, he was still as anxious as his first. Maybe it was due to this being his first back-to-back session, maybe it’s the subject matter of this session, or maybe it’s because he doesn’t feel like he’s getting any better and there is nothing that can be done to help him.

As the tension started to subside, these thoughts jumped around Solomon’s head like a tumbleweed as he got up from his bed and made his way towards the front door of his apartment, and like tumbleweeds they begin to converge and turn one big bundle of dry, prickly branches turning into one singular belief, “I’m unsavable, I’m a savage, and I don’t deserve help,” he voiced aloud as he walked out of his apartment.

Much to his surprise, he came face to face with a very grumpy looking Mr. Pike, who looked like he was about to say something to him. “Oh! Uh- Hey, Mr. Pike. How y’doing?” He asked, hoping the porcupine wasn’t going to start his day with complaining.

Mr. Pike gave the badger his characteristic stern, stone-faced stare before he answered. “A savage? Yes. Unsavable? Maybe, but listen to me badger… No one and I mean NO ONE doesn’t deserve help.” He yelled, making some of the tenets of the apartment complex come out of their homes to look at the pair.

Solomon was blindsided by the porcupine’s statement. “Excuse me.”

Mr. Pike rolled his eyes, “Come to my apartment, we should talk there. All these PRYING EYES are getting on my nerves.” He spat out trying to cast as much venom as he can.

Solomon sighed as he looked at the porcupine. He couldn’t tell why he wanted to talk but he’d be damned if this was about what his friends did the other night. “Look, Mr. Pike, if this is about the other night when my friends woke y’up at like four in the morning, I’m really sorr-“

“It’s NOT about that.” He said stoically. His eyes articulated his serious tone stabbing out at Solomon like he was trying to cut the very statement from his tongue. As he noticed the badger flinch after that, he closed his eyes and let out a groan. “Just… come to my apartment, or don’t I can see that you’re about to head out, but this should be quick.”

Solomon stared blankly at Mr. Pike. While he was leaving to go to see Dr. Conover, he was actually leaving fairly early, and he didn’t have a problem talking to Mr. Pike; especially since they wouldn’t be talking about the other night. As he finally made up his mind, he let out a sigh. “Y’know what? Sure, whatever. Let’s chat.” Solomon relented.

Mr. Pike kept his same stern expression as he turned and walked towards his apartment. Even without saying anything, Solomon could tell that Mr. Pike wanted him to follow, so he did.

As he entered the apartment, the first thing he noticed was a pair of rollerblades, a really big trophy, and a few pictures of a young porcupine holding one of those large checks. The other thing he noticed was the smothering amount of tension in the space around them.

“I guess y’were pretty good at skating, huh?” Solomon asked trying to ease some of that tension.

“Blading, and no, I was terrible.” Mr. Pike said matter-of-factly.

Solomon let out a silent sigh as he made his way towards the trophy. Once he got a better look at the porcupine in the picture, he noticed that this was quite a recent photo looking like it was taken about 3-5 years ago.

“You’re right. That’s not you… Um.” He paused. “Would you mind me asking who it is?”

There was a slight, itty-bitty smirk that planted itself on Mr. Pike’s face. “That’s my son, Fredrick, he was a natural at rollerblading.” He then looked at the picture above the trophy, as his small smirk fell into a deep frown. “He’s no longer with us.”

“I’m sorry for your lo-.“ Solomon said before he was interrupted.

Mr. Pike looked at the badger with a stony gaze, not a look of contempt or concern, but one that a parent would give to their child to signify that they should probably stop talking. The look made the badger feel smaller than he already did, which probably wasn’t what the porcupine wanted but it was what he got.

He let out a long, breathy sigh as he noticed the badger’s reaction. “I don’t wanna hear that, not right now.” Mr. Pike said as he walked towards the small table to take a seat, beckoning the badger to join him at the table.

“Come. Sit.” He said, in more of a command than a suggestion. Which made the badger promptly waddle to table and take a seat.

“That is pretty much why I wanted to talk to you. My son… was miserable after his mother died. A hollow shell of his former self, and it weighed on him until the morning I found his room empty and a note on his bed telling me that he went to see his mother. Once I got confirmation from the ZPD that they had found a body that matched the description of Freddy, I knew he was gone.” He hesitated to continue, but eventually he did. “I was asleep on the couch when he left, I wish he had just come to me to talk before he did what he did, but I know it was probably too hard for him. I just wish we had talked about how he was feeling about his mother’s death.” Mr. Pike went silent after that, letting the room marinate in the echo of the words that he spoke.

Solomon was similarly quiet as well. Not exactly knowing what to say, but now being able to see why Mr. Pike was so upset at him this morning. “Look, Mr. Pike, I truly am sorry to hear about your son. I can see that y’were deeply hurt by his passing, and I want to let y’know that I am getting the help I need. So, y’don’t have to worry about me doing something that I might regret. I feel that I’m just throwing it all away.”

The usual stoically distant look that was almost always present on his face began to soften as he processed what Solomon had said, “I know it can be difficult but just know that you do deserve help, and that even with help healing takes time and that it can be either slow or fast with many obstacles ahead of you.”

Solomon sat on the words that Mr. Pike had just said and began to try and convince himself that they were true, but there was something blocking him from fully accepting that. “I know. Trust me I know, but I just can’t get it to click in my head. Like, I feel that I’m getting better and better but then there’s this voice inside my head that just doesn’t want myself to believe that. Maybe, it’s the circumstances that I find myself in that keep me from feeling better, but that’s what a therapist is for right?”

“What circumstances have you gotten into?” Mr. Pike asked, setting off a signal in Solomon’s head that this conversation had to end.

“I don’t want to talk about it. I really do appreciate y’talking to me and giving those words of wisdom, Mr. Pike, but I really do need to head out.”

“Whatever, kid. Just don’t forget what I told you, got it.” He said giving the badger a knowing look.

This made the badger roll his eyes with a smile, “Yes, Mr. Pike.”

“Hey, kid, I mean it! Promise me that you’ll never forget that you deserve the help that you need.” He said giving Solomon that familiar stern look that he gave in the hallway.

“I promise, but I really do need to get going.” He said as he was already making his way out of Mr. Pike’s apartment.

“Fine, get outta here. I need to start dinner anyway.”

Solomon could tell that Mr. Pike didn’t want to end the conversation there but he needed to leave. Once he was out of earshot of the porcupine, he mentally kicked himself in the butt. “Why would y’say anything about circumstances, y’idiot.” He said out loud, gripping the head and slightly pulling. Not hard enough to pull anything out, he learned that the hard way, but it definitely did matte his hair a bit.

As Solomon walked through the door of the waiting room, he noticed Tracey typing something on her computer. “What y’typing, Mrs. Kopps.”

“Oh nothing. I’m sending a quick email to Conner about one of his clients. Nothing I can disclose though, confidentiality and all that.” She said with a chuckle.

“I wouldn’t ask about any of y’guys’ patients, promise.” He reassured.

They both stared at one another for a bit… and soon a chuckle from Solomon, and then a snort from Mrs. Kopps and before you know it, they were both laughing. Once they were done Mrs. Kopps scanned the badger, looking him and down before she spoke. “Y’know? I never noticed how- well big ya are pretty big for a badger, Mr. Filch.”

The statement made Solomon cringe a little. It wasn’t a bad or rude question that she had asked, but it did elicit some kind of reaction from the badger.

“I tend to not really mention it…. Just good genes I s’pose, hehe.” He chuckled hoping this response was enough for Tracey.

“Oh! How’re your parents? They must be really lovely to have raised such a joy of a person.”

As he thought about his parents, images flashed in his head. A bloody paw; his bloody paw, him spitting up blood, broken furniture with splatters of blood painting the floor, and finally a figure staring back at him shrouded in darkness with a feral bloodshot eye. And with a shake of his head, it was all gone, and he was back to the waiting area.

“Yeah,” he paused. “Very lovely, especially my mom. She was the best part of my childhood; I really miss her.”

“Oh… I’m sorry for your loss.” She spoke.

“Don’t worry. She’s not dead… I just haven’t really talked to her in a while. I’m pretty bad at calling people.”

“That’s a relief- the fact that she’s still alive not that you lost contact,” she said kicking herself in the butt for assuming in the first place.

“Trust me, it’s okay! I should’ve worded it better.” He said similarly regretting his words as well.

Quickly trying to change the subject, Tracey quickly threw out another question. “What about your dad?”

The immediate reaction from Solomon told Tracey that that was a very touchy subject.

“He’s around, kinda the same thing really. I just lost contact with him.” He said as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Are ya not that close with him?” She asked.

“Y’could say that we had a falling out,” he sighed. “Can we switch the conversation from my parents, please?”

Tracey gave Solomon a relieved smiled at the question. “Of course. What better way to change the topic than with your session starting.” She said. “Dr. Conover, Solomon’s ready for his appointment. Have a great session, Solomon.”

“Thanks Mrs. Kopps, I’ll give it my best.” He said flashing her a smile and a thumbs up as he got up from his chair and walked into the office.

“Hello, Mr. Filch, I hear that you’re ready for today’s session.” Dr. Conover said.

“Yep, ‘bout as ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Before we start, I would like to make sure that all of what we are going to talk about today is known. Would that be okay with you, or would you like to just jump right into it?”

Solomon began to weigh the options that he was given, but as he continued to dwell on his choice would be, he decided to just pick the first thing that came into his head. “Let’s have a quick refresher and y’know take it slow today.” He answered, hoping he won’t come to regret his decision.

“Alright, let’s… take it… slow.” Dr. Conover said as a sly smile began to appear on his face, along with a slight chuckle. “First things first, the boyfriend comment. I want to go from the easiest topic and make our way up to the the harder ones, almost like a video game.”

“Okay, so if my guess is right. After the boyfriend comment, we go to the “depression” comment, and the lastly, the reason I’m here. Were my guesses right, Doc?”

“Right on the money actually, seeing that you are now privy to how today’s session will go, would you like to get started?” He asked, still trying to ease Solomon into today’s session.

“I don’t get a prize for guessing right? No fair!” Solomon joked.

“The prize for this session is getting the hard stuff out of the way. I’ll think about a better one once we get done, I think that sounds fair.” Dr. Conover reassured.

“Fair enough, alright let’s get going.”

“Great! Now remind me, the boyfriend comment was a response to your friend, Celia, saying, “I wish I had a boyfriend just like you Solomon,” correct?”

“Yep, y’got it word for word actually.” He said surprised… well slightly surprised. He’s pretty sure Dr. Conover just took good notes. Any prof-

“Mr. Filch?” Dr. Conover said, snapping his finger as he tried to get the badger’s attention.

“Oh! Sorry ‘bout that. I lost my train of thought.” He apologized, as he let out a small chuckle.

“It truly is fine; I was asking if you could tell me why that was your response to Celia’s statement.” Dr. Conover said reassuring the badger.

The badger blushed, “Right… well I’m pretty sure that I can trust you Doc, but… I gotta ask. Is this a safe space?”

The polar bear gave the badger a few confused blinks, but then it clicked for him resulting in Dr. Conover giving Solomon three distinct responses. “Oh!” He exclaimed as he recognized the implications of the question. “…oh,” he said chiding himself for not telling Solomon in the last few sessions. And finally, “Ohhh.” He said putting two and two together. “I see… yes, Solomon, this is a safe space.”

After laughing at the bear’s responses, Solomon felt a weight lift off of his shoulders. He figured that he could trust Dr. Conover, but he read articles about therapists abusing their patients. Like the one about the pig lady that tried to sleep with her client. Normally, this wouldn’t be something Solomon would know but he wanted to be careful going into this.

“Thanks, Doc. Anyway, the reason I said that was because; 1. I’m gay, and 2. I keep a lot of secrets from my friends, and I don’t want Cecelia to be with some secretive jackass that’s in the closet, y’know.”

“I… understand what you mean Mr. Filch, but don’t you think that you might not be the only one keeping secrets.”

Solomon blinked at Dr. Conover and cocked his head, “What y’talking ’bout, Doc?” He said kind of fast and rather sloppily.

“What I mean, Mr. Filch, is that keeping secrets no matter how big, or small, is a part of our nature. Now with that in mind, I don’t want to seem like I’m attacking you… well I guess I can just ask you first. Have you told your friends that you’re gay?”

“I… don’t remember actually, and if I haven’t told them, I’m pretty sure they already know. While we were at Gideon’s bakery I kinda zoned out while I was trying to order something.” Solomon said embarrassed about the memory.

“Why did you zone out?” Dr. Conover asked.

“The second I laid eyes on him, and heard his voice, there was this feeling that something was missing. Something I never had.” Solomon looked at the photo of Dr. Conover and Mrs. Kopps, it made him think. He knew that they weren’t dating and as much as he denied it before… maybe he was just feeling lo-.

“-lonely?” Dr. Conover’s voice snapped Solomon out of his thoughts and stunned him for a second.

“Sorry… could y’repeat that?” He chuckled.

“Certainly,” he said as he cleared his throat. “Have you been feeling lonely?”

“It’s funny that y’ask… only a little bit.” He stopped to think for a second. “Well, maybe more than that if it caused me to zone out like that.” He said jokingly.

“Hmm, I see.” Dr. Conover said as he started to jot down his thoughts on his clipboard. He struggled to think about what to ask next, but the basics have always helped him in times of struggle, “Where do you think this loneliness stems from?”

As he heard the question, Solomon went back to the room with the figure with the bloodshot eye. “I don’t really know, but if I were to take a guess… I’d say my father would be a decent culprit.” Solomon said, but one the word left his mouth he felt a sting of pain in his chest.

“Any reasons that you might want to share?” The bear asked.

“No… no, not for a while honestly.” Solomon let out a sharp exhale as the pain began to move towards his head.

“Look, Doc, I know that y’said that this was going to be the “serious” session, but if this one was supposed to be the easiest one-” He stopped. “No, I can do this but can we go to the next topic? The sooner we finish this the better.” Solomon stated flatly.

“Yes, absolutely. I apologize for that; I didn’t know that this would be that tough of a topic.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s mostly just my father, if I could erase someone from my memory, it would be him.”

“I understand… the next topic, which I am sure is going to be tougher than the last one. The depression that you said you felt whenever you’re alone, the purgatory as you called it, when did you first feel it?”

As he was about to answer it, his thoughts started to fester, and everything began to mold itself into the bloody room that he’s been plagued with. Once again, he was staring at the figure in the doorway, that feral bloodshot eye was staring daggers at him. Something about this felt off though… different even. This feeling was confirmed when the figure started to move towards Solomon.

“Please stop.” He whined, as the figure continued to close the distance between them.

“Solomon…” said the figure in a deep, gravelly voice. A voice that Solomon heard everyday when he was younger.

“But I won, y’said y’would stop if I won.” He whimpered softly as his body and voice became shaken and desperate. His claws were raring to take a swipe the moment the figure got close enough.

“Solomon.” The voice beckoned again, continuing to get closer and closer to the badger.

Once the figure got close enough, Solomon could finally see the features of the figure. A wolverine standing at about 4 feet towering over a young Solomon, strips of fur on his face were missing due to a slash to the eye from the badger. Disgusted and frightened of what he saw, he let loose aiming his strike for the throat, but his arm was caught, and the feral eyes of his father stared back at him, angry. “Are you alright, Solomon?”

As Solomon came to, the room fading away, he could see his arm in Dr. Conover’s grasp. It was hard to pinpoint his voice though, because it was blended in with the gravelly sound that made him sick to his stomach.

“Solomon, please. Are you alright?” Dr. Conover’s voice was filled with concern and fear. Fear that he had lost Solomon, fear that he had failed, but to Solomon all he could see was that Dr. Conover looked scared.

“I’m so sorry! I- I… I didn’t mean to attack you!” Solomon said as he started to cower away from the bear.

“Solomon, please look at me, I know you didn’t mean to… I promise that it is going to be okay.” He pleaded.

“Please… stay back. Ju-… just give me a moment.”

Dr. Conover could see that the badger was shaking, even more than their first time meeting. “Alright, Solomon. I’ll give you a minute.” He then went back to his chair, staring at the badger.

The war going on in Solomon’s head was finally starting to subside as his body began to stop shaking and his breathing began to stabilize. Once everything started to return to “normal”, Solomon made his way back to the couch he was sitting on and gave one last deep breath.

“Is everything better now, Solomon?” Dr. Conover asked, that concerned parent tone showing its face as he posed the question.

“Somewhat, I really don’t know what happened, this hasn’t happened before…. Not like this anyway.”

“I think this is a good place to stop the session. I apologize for having you go through such a heavy topic; I pushed you too hard and too early.”

Solomon looked at the bear with stoic eyes, “I understand, Doc, but as hard as this may be for me to say… we should keep going. I want to get this last topic over with.”

Dr. Conover gave Solomon a proud smile as he heard this. Just as he thought he had completely broken the badger, a glimmer of hope shined through. “Alright, Solomon, let’s finish the session. Our final topic for today is the reason you are here, why you’re having these sessions in the first place. Would you like to start, or do you want me to say what I have on my file?”

“I’ll start this one, Doc.”

Solomon took in one last deep breath as he recounted the incident that landed him in here. “While I was working, I wasn’t really looking at where I was going and I was almost stomped on by my colleague, an elephant named Orion Tuskworthy. He also just so happened to have a fresh cup of coffee that he had brewed himself, which spilled all over himself when he had to course correct to avoid turning me into a fur carpet. Next thing I knew, I was grabbed by the neck by his trunk, and I blacked out. Once I came to, there was blood everywhere, Orion was on the ground with his trunk barely holding itself together. Orion was taken to the hospital swiftly and decided not to press charges against me. I don’t know why he didn’t, but the boss said that I needed to “fix” what was wrong with me so here I am.”

This was the flattest Dr. Conover has heard Solomon speak, it was very clear to him that the badger was emotionally exhausted. Another thing that struck him was that he hadn’t had a “violent” patient in four years. It filled him with confidence and fear. Confidence was always a go to for Dr. Conover, if he wasn’t confident that he could help someone, he would make sure that he could refer them to someone that was more qualified to help. Now fear, fear was new. He wasn’t afraid of Solomon hurting him, but he was fearful of what could possibly be causing the violent outbursts.

“What do you remember from the black out?” He asked.

“Not much but would y’believe me if I said it was probably connected to what happened earlier.” He joked.

Dr. Conover cocked his head, “Related how?”

“When Orion grabbed me by the neck, it reminded me of my father. Growing up, my father taught me to fight for everything, it got really bad when I was around sixteen. The last time we fought, I “won” and he hated that. So, he grabs me by the neck and just starts choking the life outta me. It wasn’t until my mom broke a chair over him that he stopped.” A small smile appeared as he recounted that part of the story. It was short lived though, as he continued on. “Whenever I think back to that moment, all I can think about are my father’s eyes and how bloodshot one of them was.”

Dr. Conover was furious at what he was hearing. “If I were to guess, he never got convicted or arrested for this?”

“Nope… and it fucked me up for a looong time. Apparently, it’s still fucking me up right now. Good job, dad, y’still won in the end.”

Dr. Conover, who was still fuming about what he had heard, chimed in. “He hasn’t won yet, Solomon.”

“What y’mean by that, Doc? He still has a stranglehold on my psyche, how hasn’t he won?” Solomon argued.

“Because you’re still fighting it, if there’s one thing, I can commend your father for, it’s giving you resilience. His teachings are his own downfall because even as he holds you hostage, you’re still beating him. He can’t fully beat you, because of how resilient you are. Trust me when I say this to you, Solomon. You will overcome it.” He countered.

“But, Doc, y’saw what happened earlier. How I was on the floor and how I almost attacked y-.” He paused. “How can y’even believe that I’m resilient against what he’s ingrained in my head?”

“Because you’re still here.”

This made Solomon flinch, not due to anything negative, but because he was starting to somewhat believe what Dr. Conover was saying.

“You got off of the ground and you got right back on that couch, overcame what you saw, and you were still willing to fight back even though you were so scared. You’re much more resilient than you think you are.”

Solomon chuckled at the thought of his father doing something good for him, even if was indirect. It did feel good to hear, none the less.

“Y’know what y’re right, Doc. Maybe I’m better than I think I am.”

“I think ending the session here on a good note is definitely better than earlier. Thank you, Solomon, for being strong in the face of adversity, I know you’ll get far here. Also, you’re prize for guessing right will be a two-day break from the sessions, you deserve it.”

“Thanks, Doc. Y’really sure that I should take two days off?”

“Absolutely! One, it gives me some time to plan your next session, and two, I meant it when I said you deserve it.”

“Geez, Doc, I really got lucky when I became your client…. Thanks, Dr. Conover.

“You’re welcome, Solomon. Now, get outta here, go have fun, go see the stars, go hang out, or whatever you kids do nowadays.”

“I’ll make sure to do some of those things, bye Doc.”

As Solomon left the office, he noticed that Mrs. Kopps was on the phone talking with someone. He waved goodbye as he walked out the door. Taking in one more deep breath, he thought out loud, “This day was fucking stressful!”

Taking in what Dr. Conover said, Solomon pulled out his phone and called Aiden. “Heya, wolfy!”

Chapter Text

A flash of lightning bathes the dark room in a bright white as a wolf pup looks at his mother standing in the doorway. There is a somber, scared expression on her face as she tries her best not to look at the pup in his curious, unassuming eyes. Unaware of his mother's intentions, the pup began to walk towards his mother, noticing the look of grief that his mother had on her face as his eyes met hers.

That look shifted to something that the wolf pup just wasn't old enough to experience yet... dread. Pure dread washed over her face as the pup, her pup, began to wobble his way towards her. His arms reaching out for her to grab, she couldn't make this harder for herself, nor her child. Her paw outstretched as she signaled for him to stop.

Stopping dead in his tracks, he looked at his mother confused. Just then, another flash of lightning lit the room, a deafening roar of thunder accompanied the flash. Recoiling in fear from the loud noise, the pup's instincts took over and told him to do one thing... "Run to her."

"No... no, no, no," she whispered, pleading for the pup to stop. Once again, he would stop. A sniffle rang throughout the room, she knew that if he started crying that was it for her. Seeing no other way to avoid this unexpected situation, she rushed to the pup, embracing him as hard, and as tight, as she could. The pup welcomed the embrace, his ears folding back and tail wagging fervently as he too began to tighten his grip around his mother.

Small whines escaped from him as his mother began to loosen her grip. As she let go of the pup, tears began to stream down her face. She tried to wipe away the tears as quickly as she could, but they fell too frequently for her to conceal her anguish. This sight made the pup, once again, let out small, quiet whines.

The pup's fur was wet as she put her hand on his cheek. She couldn't tell if it was from her tears or his, but she still wiped his eyes clearing any tears that could've fallen. "Shhhh, little one," she whispered softly into the pup's ear. "I will always be with you."

A sharp inhale escaped from her muzzle as she began to head to the door. She looked her pup in the eyes one last time as she spoke, "Know that I did this for you... I love you, and I always will."

One last final strike of lightning lit the room as the door slowly shut. Another roar of thunder synched with the sound of the door fully closing, scaring the pup as he stood in the dark room alone. Another flash of lightning, this time red in color, lit the room, and then another flash, and another. This constant flash of red began to invade the room that the pup was in. The thunder was just as constant, blaring at the pup, getting louder and louder with each repetition until...

Aiden's eyes shoot open as he leaps out of his bed, searching for his alarm clock in his delirious state; darting to it to stop the incessant chime. Once he succeeded in stopping his alarm clock, his eyes began to focus longingly on the door to his room. In his stupor, he couldn't even notice that he was breathing heavily. Trying to ease his breathing and his mind, he let out a deep sigh.

Not even being given the chance to compose himself, his phone began to ring. A low growl freed itself from his muzzle, as he begrudgingly picked up his phone. "Hello," he growled.

"Heya, wolfy!" On the other end of the phone call was Solomon.

Immediately dispelling any, and all, of the venom that was about to unfortunately find itself in the ears of the unsuspecting victim, "Oh! Hey, Filch, I just woke up... what's up?"

"Sorry about that. I can call y'back in a bit, if that's okay?"

"No, it's okay. I'll call you back once I'm fully awake and we can go from there. Okay?"

"Y'got it. Talk to y'later."

"See ya," he said as he immediately flopped right back on his bed, putting his phone on the nightstand beside it.

Finally getting the chance to decompress, Aiden's eyes started to tear up. This dream has been haunting for his entire life since his mom left that night. Multiple thoughts began to swirl within his head, but only one was vocalized.

"Why didn't she take me with her?"

Aiden could feel the thoughts begin to take over his mind, and a wetness fell out of his eyes. Almost immediately after, he shot up from his bed, grabbed his phone, and went straight out the door.

The ringing tone drowned out the thoughts that still pervaded his mind, as he called Solomon back.

He took a deep breath, as the phone continued to ring. “I’m okay… it’s okay,” he thought.

"Is my favorite wolf awake now?"

Coming to his senses as soon as he heard the badger’s voice, Aiden quickly perked up again. "Yep, what did you need?"

"I just wanted to see if y'wanted to hang out, just the two of us."

Aiden's ears shot up and his tail began to wag as he heard Solomon's invitation, "It has been a while since we've been able to hang out one-on-one. What do you have in mind?"

"I've been thinking about my mom recently, and I wanted to ask if y'd come with me so I'm not alone."

His tail dropped dead as he heard what Solomon had in mind, "I didn't know that our relationship was at that level, Filch. I don't know if I'm ready for that, yet."

Solomon groaned, "Y'know what, I think y're right. Maybe I should ask Clyde, or Celia if they'd be interested instead."

Aiden gasped, "Surely you jest, my dear friend. As if, either of those scoundrels are more worthy than I, your bestest friend." He joked. "Anyway, listen, Filch, I'm flattered. I gladly accept your invitation."

"Please don't do all of that when we go see my mom, I don't need her thinking we're a couple."

"Why, my dear? Would she not approve of a love sooooo pure?"

"First of all, gross. Second of all, my mom is VERY accepting and open-minded."

"I'm just kidding! Anyway, when are you trying to go see her?"

"Tomorrow, I wanted to ask ahead of time."

Aiden's ears flattened as he heard this, "You're lucky I'm free tomorrow, but you sure you don't wanna hang out today? We could go out to that one restaurant you like?"

"Charming offer, Wolfy, but I've had a long day, and I need some time to myself."

"Really? The day just started, it's onl-" His train of thought slammed the brakes as he looked at the time on his phone.

4:42 pm

"How long did y'sleep, Wolfy?"

"Only about 15 HOURS! What the hell, man?"

Solomon let out a slight chuckle upon hearing that, "Slept better than me. What's got y'so tired anyway?

"The new sleeping pills my doctor gave me. I may need to ask for a lower dose, holy shit."

"Must be some powerful stuff... Can I get some? I've been sleeping pretty badly lately."

After taking a deep breath, Aiden finally calmed down fully. "No can do, my friend. You know that giving you some sleeping meds prescribed to a different species is a bad idea... At least that's what that one story you made me read said."

"Hey! Don't use Hidden Code against me... Did y'ever get around to finishing it? All I remember is that y'hated the thought of Bryson and Zane getting together."

"I did actually, and now's not the time to be pointing out how Zane shouldn't have forgiven Bryson after he almost got him killed, but I digress."

"Fair enough, BUT it was technically not Bryson's fault. They were in a high-stress situation!"

"Do you really wanna be a Bryson apologist?"

"Hey! It's not my fault I thought he was... Fine y're right, I won't defend him. Anyway, I gotta go."

"Do you really have to go or are you just embarrassed that you're a Bryson apologist?"

"Done with this conversation! It was nice talking with y' Aiden."

"Likewise, Filch. S-... See you tomorrow."

As soon as the call ended, the smile that was on Aiden's face faded away to a scowl. "Perfect timing there, Filch." Once again the thoughts began to invade Aiden's headspace, flooding it with doubts and questions in every nook and cranny.

*CRACK*

Everything froze as he heard that sound.

Looking around, he didn't see anything out of the ordinary and his phone was in his pocket so it couldn't have been that.

*CRACK*

Focusing his ears on the sounds around him, he hoped that he could find the source of the noise, but he didn't hear it again. Shaking his head, he came to a decision, "I need something to eat. That's- that's gotta be it."

As he made his way back to his house, taking out his keys he opened the door and-

*CRACK*

There it was again... the sound making him drop his keys. "I must be going psycho or something." He bemoaned, as he picked up his keys, finally unlocking the door, walking inside, and making his way towards the kitchen.

Looking through his fridge, he found some day old pasta that he had made and decided to eat that. Putting the food in the microwave, he watched as the food spun around becoming engrossed in it.

*CRACK*

A wave of anxiety washed over Aiden as he heard the sound again. As he once again looked around for a source, he stopped and closed his eyes, slinking down the table and onto the floor. Something was causing this noise and if he couldn't see it, then it must be within him.

As he peered within himself, his mind, and his body the thoughts from earlier were everywhere. They were flooding his happiest memories with these questions and doubts about that night, and then once again as he peered deeper inside his head he found what was making that sound.

He was in a dark room, a room that felt familiar to him and it wasn't until a bright flash of lightning showed him the true identity of the room. He stood there inspecting the room, and just as his eyes looked at the door that his mom had left out of, he saw that the door was barely holding on to its hinges. The door was bulging out at him like some type of pressure was trying to force it open. He continued to stand where he was, looking at the door as if it would hurt him if he got any closer to it.

The pressure that was being applied to the door was starting to double as the door began to break down. A piece of wood shot towards Aiden, hitting him in the arm. A sharp pain was all his mind could register in the chaos, a sign that if he continued to do nothing he would suffer for that inaction.

Cautiously as ever, Aiden made his way towards the door, pushing his body up against it. The splintering of the door made it difficult for him to stay in place for too long, but he continued his efforts. He didn’t want to know what was on the other side of the door.

A warm, wet liquid flowed down Aiden’s arm as small, sharp splinters from the door began to dig their way into his arm. The pain was getting overwhelming, but he knew that he had to keep the door shut… at least that’s what he thought he had to do.

There was something off about this. Why did he feel the need to keep the door closed? Why is he here? What’s behind the door? Many questions popped up in his head, bringing along with them the doubts from before.

That’s when it began to make sense to him.

Every time that he was about to break down, he would barely build himself back together just before the pressure could get to him. He knew that he had to deal with this before it could get worse.

“I’m done trying to jerry-rig myself into being okay. I can’t keep doing that to myself.” With that, he had made his choice.

As he peeled himself from the door, he finally looked at his arm. It was stained a dark, crimson red and splinters were jutting out, but he didn’t feel pain in the same spots as the splinters.

“Something to deal with later,” he thought as he settled his gaze toward the door that haunted him for his entire life.
As he stared at the door, the pressure continued to assert its dominance over it. It was slowly starting to impose its weight onto the hinges breaking them down little by little. Aiden couldn’t bear to watch the door break down, so he finally did what he had to do. He approached the door, grabbed the handle, and opened the door.

A flood of water washed over him once he opened the door, the current pulling him under the massive wave as it stampeded its way into the house. Barely able to keep his head afloat, he decided to stop fighting. Content with his decision, he closed his eyes and let the wave take him to wherever it was going.

Once Aiden opened his eyes, he found himself back in his kitchen. The microwave shouting to the air that its job was finished, and a familiar wet feeling on his cheek. All the pressure that was bearing on the door had finally passed and he was finally free to let himself go, his tears falling down his face like a waterfall. He cried for a good 5 minutes before he remembered the pain in his arm.

Looking down at his arm, he found that there were a few puncture wounds. Nothing around him looked like it could’ve caused the injury, but as he looked at his left paw he noticed some blood on his claws.

“CRAP!” He shouted, rushing to the bathroom to patch himself up.

Once there, he looked at his reflection through the mirror. His eyes were red, and his fur was matted and damp from both tears and blood. “I look like shit,” he said, letting out a feint chuckle as he grabbed a roll of gauze and wrapped it around the spot where he had hurt himself.

Pausing for a second he looked at his arm and only one thought was formed as he recalled his plans for tomorrow. “How am I gonna explain this to Solomon?”

”I’m too tired to be think about that.” He said as he grabbed his now cold pasta and a fork. “I’ll just have to wing it.”